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storiesofsvu · 5 months

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Christmas Admirer

Elizabeth Donnelly x reader warnings: language, argument, minor stalking. Look! I did a thing! Thank you for the ko-fi and the request!! I hope this lives up to expectations lol. Covers the "fight before xmas" square for bingo. I'm slowly getting back into it y'all! I wanted to get a lot more done for bingo but I hate to admit I don't think I'm gonna get much done, which sucks. I still have the creative spurts but I think I'm so wrapped up in NCIS that other characters have fallen down the list lol. I'll do my best to get the more developed ideas out for bingo! Love y'all!

The first time it happened, you didn’t think a thing about it. Liz always had new staff in the early fall, clerks, paralegals, assistants, secretaries, baby prosecutors that you hadn’t met yet. Those who had graduated college and wanted some on the job experience before law school, those who had graduated law school and were killing time before being able to write the Bar. There was never a shortage of strange faces around Hogan Place, so you breezed through the halls with no worries, a handful of files tucked under your arm and two coffees balanced in your hand as you approached her office door.

“I wouldn’t!” The voice rang out from the desk situated outside of Liz’s office and you stalled in your steps, letting out a small laugh.

“I’m sure it’s fine. She’s expecting me.”

“That was probably before she found out Anderson lied about having a warrant.” The man winced slightly and you let out a sigh right before Liz’s voice boomed through the glass, clearly upset and about to tear Anderson a new one.

“Guess so.” You dropped down into a chair opposite the man’s desk, placing the coffees down on it, files on your lap as you tugged out your phone. “This the only headache she’s had to deal with today?”

“Aside from the damage control that’ll go along with it, I think so.”

“Great.” Your head tilted back as you let out a groan, there went your dinner plans.

You didn’t catch it, the way his eyes were lingering on you, examining the folders in your lap, recognizing them as legal ones, an NYPD logo stamped on the second one in the pile just peeking its way out. How he was putting together that you were in the legal field, but no badge or gun meant you weren’t a cop. How casual you were in the space meant you’d been here plenty of times before. His gaze dragged up your body, watching your hand reach out for your coffee cup, nearly frowning that you were using your right, your left hidden under the pile of files and he’d have to resort to a verbal tactic to figure out more.

“How long has Anderson been in there?” You asked, swallowing down your coffee.

“Oh, uh? Only a few minutes before you got here.” He replied, “I could always take a message Mrs…?”

You barked out a laugh, turning toward him with a grin on your face, “please, it’s Ms. Parker.” He stuck his hand out over his desk and you took it, shaking while he smiled.

“Thomas, it’s nice to meet you.”

Your eyes surveyed him for a minute, flicking around the room before you spoke, “you got a nice looking name plate,” you gestured to the desk, “you’ve either been here a while or you’re planning on it.”

“Hoping to be.” He shifted in his chair, sitting more upright, “figured this was the best way to save up for law school.” He laughed awkwardly, “not that I’m freshly graduated or anything, I just didn’t figure things out right away, you know?”

“I do.” You laughed, glancing back towards Liz’s door where you could barely hear Anderson stammering along as she continued to lecture him.

“She always this intense?”

“Depends.” You picked up your coffee, taking another swig, “but Anderson… he’s annoying. He’s one of those ones that has an excuse for literally everything and none of them are valid. He’ll never own up to his actions or accept the consequences and shit like that pisses her off even more. If this case sinks, he’s done for.”

A small pause in the conversation while you both tried to eavesdrop and ignore the argument on the other side of the office wall before he spoke again, “sounds like you’ve known Donnelly a while.”

“Five years, give or take.” You replied, picking up your coffee again.

Though it was the last two that were the most significant, a year of back and fourth flirtation whenever you ran into each other until Melinda practically dragged you to some gala she was forced to attend and one thing led to another and confessions of true feelings were whispered into the night. You’d never expected to fall in love with someone like Liz and you’d definitely never thought someone like her would fall in love with you, yet here you were.

“Bet you know all the best ways to make it into her good books.” Thomas practically teased and you laughed.

“Work hard, pay attention, be ready on your feet and up to date as you can be on any open or upcoming cases. She’s big on loyalty, don’t let her catch you fraternizing with the enemy or sweet talking other departments or firms. If you’re thinking about switching jobs, let her know up front and she’ll give you the glowing recommendation you deserve, but if you do it behind her back, your options will be limited. Don’t be a suck up, but on a really bad day, the shrimp scampi from Forlini’s is a life saver,” you were suddenly cut off as the door flew open and Anderson came scurrying by without bothering to stop and you glanced back to Thomas, “and her coffee order is an Americano or drip with two packets of sweetener.” You picked up the untouched coffee, placing it down directly in front of him as you stood from your seat, “but I have a feeling she doesn’t need any more adrenaline boosts today and you just might.” You shot him a wink before scooping up your own coffee and stepping towards Liz’s ajar door, knocking on the frame.

“What?” She snapped as you pushed it open, offering her a warm smile and she let out a sigh from where she sat behind her desk, “sorry.”

“No need.” You swung the door shut behind you, moving through the room.

“What’re you doing here?” She asked softly, hand reaching out to squeeze at yours as you perched on the side of her desk.

“Had lunch with Sophie.” You shrugged, dropping the pile of files into her inbox, “figured I’d save her the ten minute drive.”

“One of these days you’re going to remember you’re a writer and not my assistant.” She teased as you leant down to steal a kiss.

“Speaking of…” you glanced behind you to the closed door, “you’ve got a new one.”

“He’s competent so far.” She sighed, leaning back in her chair, “unlike fucking Anderson.” You laughed, squeezing at her shoulder.

“He’s been in the hotseat for nearly a year, it’s about time they let him go.” You frowned slightly, “but I am guessing this means our dinner plans are off?”

Liz let out a heavy sigh, pinching at the bridge of her nose as she muttered “this is why I hate this job sometimes.” She glanced up at you, “yes.” Taking both of your hands in hers she smiled at you, “but that doesn’t mean I won’t spoil you. You go home, I’ll send dinner to your place, dessert too, and probably another million little gifts.”

“Liz, you really don’t have to.” You giggled, leaning down to kiss her.

“No sweetheart, I really do. We made these plans a while ago and I know how much you were looking forward to them.”

“Alright,” you slid off her desk, “fine. I’ll accept delicious, free dinner and treats but you better send me a picture of your dinner too, even if it’s in your office. I need you to not forget to eat.”

“And you really think you don’t take care of me?” She grinned up at you and you giggled again when she pulled you back to her for another kiss, “thank you for understanding.”

“Always.” You smiled, “and hey, don’t be too hard on that kid out there, he doesn’t seem so bad.”

“As long as he’s not Anderson.” She replied with an eye roll and you pulled the door open with a laugh, shooting a wave and a smile to Thomas as you sped through the office, leaving the room fast enough that you missed the way he ducked his gaze and his cheeks flushed pink.

The second time it happened, you were none the wiser, more focussed on getting your daily tasks done through the first snowfall of the year.

“God it is freezing out there.” You grumbled, letting out a little shiver as you shook the snow off your shoulders, “hope you guys have the heat on.” You reached out, placing a coffee cup down on Thomas’ desk.

“Got a portable one under my desk.” He replied with a slightly bashful smile.

“Good.” You shot him a wink, wrapping your hands around your own coffee and letting out a warm sigh.

“If it’s that cold out you should really have gloves on.”

“I know.” You groaned, rolling your eyes, “my friend’s dog chewed through my last pair this weekend, haven’t gotten around to a shopping trip yet.”

“She doesn’t give you any time off?” He asked with a frown, nodding toward Liz’s door and you laughed.

“She’s not my boss.” You tugged around in your purse for a moment, pulling out a business card, “I write kid’s books… well, primarily. I’ve been known to dabble into true crime too.”

He took the card from you, studying it for a minute before looking back up at you, “oh, that’s really cool. And… wildly different departments.”

You laughed, smiling softly at Thomas, “yeah, I guess they balance each other out well enough. Gotta splash some colour in that drab, cruel world, ya know?”

“Yeah.” He twirled the card around in his fingers, placing it down next to his cup of pens, “I’d love to pick your brain about it.”

“Really?” Your smile widened, taken aback by someone showing genuine interest into what you spent your time doing.

“Yeah. I’ll even buy you a drink, or a coffee, for your time? Tonight?”

“I can’t tonight.” Your nose scrunched and Thomas thought it was the cutest thing he’d seen all month, “got a thing. Friday?”

“Yeah, yeah! That’s perfect.”

“Well,” grinning, you gestured toward the card, “you’ve got my number.”

You scooped up your coffee, briefly knocking on Liz’s door before entering her office, letting the door swing shut behind you as you crossed the room.

“You’re late.” She chastised, half teasing while you leant over to kiss her cheek, your hand resting just past the collar of her shirt and she winced, “and your hands are freezing! What did I tell you about buying new gloves?”

“I’ll get around to it.” You rolled your eyes, laughing softly, “and how am I late if all I’m doing is playing errand boy for you?”

“Cleaners’ only open until three today.” She replied with a shrug pulling a claim ticket out of her desk and passing it to you.

“Good thing it’s only one then.” You replied with a grin, swiping the tag from her and popping it into your purse. “Your dress will be in one piece and ready to go at my place once you’re done here. You’ll have just enough time to go over your speech before we head out.”

“You’re a life saver.” She tugged you back to her to steal a kiss, wincing again at the temperature of your fingers. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

You got home with Liz’s dry cleaning over your arm and take out in your other (still bare) hand to find a gift bag sitting outside of your apartment door. You managed to scoop it up and once you got inside you discovered two pairs of very warm, cozy and luxurious gloves inside. A smile crept onto your cheeks and your body relaxed with warmth at the thought of Liz thinking of you on an already crammed busy day.

The third time you were slowly starting to pick up on it but brushed it off as friendliness. Thomas had agreed to buy you a drink to pick your brain over your work and you were more than excited to have someone who wasn’t your agent or publisher to talk to about the creative thoughts flying through your brain. You spent more than a few hours at a small table in the corner of a bar picking over appetizers and a few cocktails while you got to know each other a bit more. Thomas was new to town, spent the majority of his time working and thus didn’t really have a lot of friends in the city yet. You tried to pay for your half of the tab but he insisted it was his treat and you weren’t about to complain. When he offered to walk you home you figured he was just being friendly, cautious as a man should be about letting their companion go on alone at night in New York. You didn’t have to argue too much as you already had a car coming and assured that you would text once you were home safe.

The fourth time things started to happen you were so wrapped up in the holiday season you wouldn’t have noticed even if you had been looking for it. All of your shopping was done online to avoid crowded stores, there were small piles of packages outside your door daily, more Christmas cards than you could count flowing through your mail box. An array of little gifts from Liz, some signed with her initials, some wrapped with a ‘do not open until Christmas’ warnings, others bare in their Amazon boxes. Some were shipped, some were dropped off and it seemed to change every week.

Flowers, chocolates and candy were frequently left at your work desk, a treat for the entire office, trinkets from fans or avid readers, it was just what happened this time of year. It didn’t matter if it didn’t have a card, it was just a little boost to get through the cold snap and into the new year.

Figuring you should get a start on wrapping the gifts you were giving you started to sort through the boxes littered underneath the tree, finding a surprising amount of things that had been on your public wish list. You were stuck in an internal battle between setting a reminder to thank Liz in the morning or not mention anything considering they were likely supposed to be Christmas gifts and you eventually decided on the latter.

Just as you were finishing up, putting the final bow on the final present there was a knock at your door and you were surprised with dinner from your favourite place. You were a little taken a back with this one, considering it was one of the pricier places you really adored, but hey, it was Christmas time, Liz was working late and cancelled a date night, you weren’t going to complain about a pricey apology.

The fifth time it happened Thomas had been away from his desk when you arrived, you figured he was already gone for the night and headed straight to Liz’s office. That was where you discovered that she was having the utter day from hell, more than one prosecutor getting served thanks to playing out of line during their current cases. Meaning she now had to comb through both of their cases from start to where they were currently to find any violations, possibly take them over herself and help them find the appropriate counsel for the suits being filed.

She apologized profusely, promising that she would make it up to you later that weekend and you simply smiled, nodding gently and pressing a kiss to her cheek. You’d known what level of workload she had when you started dating and you reminded her that you knew this wasn’t exactly work from home over a glass of wine type of work. Reluctantly, you finally left her office, quietly shutting the door on your way out before your eyes flicked up and you spotted Thomas back at his desk beginning to pack things up.

“Figured you’d left already.” You greeted with a small smile.

“Oh, just a few last minute things she needed me to take over. Done now.” His eyes slowly raked up your body, taking in the heels, form fitting dress, jewelry and curled hair and he gulped, “you look… nice.”

“Thanks.” You huffed out a laugh, “dinner plans.”

“You didn’t get roped into this somehow, did you?” He asked, gesturing towards Liz’s office.

“Oh no.” You shook your head, pulling your phone out of your pocket when it pinged to read the text message and let out another sigh, “but my date did cancel on me.”

“Really? It’s practically Christmas.”

“Meh, happens.” You shrugged, pocketing your phone again.

“You know… I was just on my way out; my plan was leftover pizza. If you maybe wanted some company, we could grab a bite?” He offered and you hummed over it for a moment.

“You sure?”

“’Course.”

“That’d honestly be really nice, I’ve been cooped up alone in my home office all week and was looking forward to the company.” You glanced up to him, “but I’m paying this time!”

“Not after you got stood up.” He chuckled and you let out a small laugh.

“I had reservations at Trattoria Dell’Arte, it’s not exactly cheap. Let me get it.”

“Only if I take care of the drinks.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

You likely would have noticed that he was flirting, not just being friendly if you hadn’t been so preoccupied up in your head. Between both of your jobs you and Liz hadn’t managed to see that much of each other recently and you were beginning to second guess yourself, thinking that she was simply just too tired to want to bother seeing you after a long week. That the extra work was a welcomed excuse to have to take a rain check yet again.

Instead you played nice, laughed at most of his jokes and contributed the best you could over dinner. Spending time with him wasn’t bad, he was decent enough company you didn’t mind it, you just would have preferred your girlfriend. He did try to snag the dinner bill but you were quicker, taking care of it on the way back from the restroom, leaving him with the agreed upon bottle of wine to settle up.

He once again offered to walk you home, or at least split a cab and you agreed on the latter considering it was a chillier night and you didn’t want either of you to get caught out in the snow. The heavier the incoming storm got, the fewer cabs there would be out on the streets, so it didn’t even cross your mind. You thought nothing of the rose he presented to you after you flagged down the cab considering the street peddler was pushy, the assertive in your face type that wouldn’t take no for an answer until you’d agreed to buy something from them. You’d even both laughed about it on the way home, talking about how guys like that used to target tourists more than the locals and when you reached your apartment you thanked him for the fun evening and hoped he had a great rest of his weekend.

With your back turned you missed the way his eyes followed you all the way up to the entrance to your building, a small smile on his cheeks as the fantasies began to play through his head, some of which were already playing out in real life right in front of him.

Stepping out of the cab you cautiously jogged up the stairs to Liz’s brownstone, careful to avoid the ice in your heels, coat open and flowing behind you as you briefly stopped to ring the bell before letting yourself in.

“I’ll be five minutes!” Her voice rang through from her upstairs office, “make yourself a drink.”

“Okay.” You called back, wiping off your shoes and shrugging off your coat to be hung on one of the hallway hooks.

Liz’s house was no stranger to you, it was your home away from home, a place you spent many weekends curled in her arms on the couch or tangled in her bedsheets as the sun crept in through the curtains. It felt homier that your apartment, the place you often opted to work from home when you needed to, the long days that she worked that you missed her, wanted to still feel surrounded by her even if she didn’t come home until long after you were asleep.

You crossed the living room to the bar cart, pouring yourself a gin and tonic to pass the time while she finished whatever it was she was doing. Sipping on the beverage you pulled your phone from your pocket, scrolling through a couple of apps and replying to a couple of messages while your gaze was distracted out the window, watching the snowfall start to get thicker, coating the streets with white fluff.

“Well don’t you look absolutely stunning.” Liz’s voice broke through the silence of the room and you turned back to her with a small laugh, the smile staying on your warm cheeks as she approached you. Her hand cupped your cheek, pulling you to her for a tender kiss that you couldn’t help but relax into.

“Thank you.” You smiled across at her, “figured I should look a little extra nice considering how many nights we’ve missed recently.”

“You know you don’t have to dress up for me.” Liz replied with a small smile, kissing your cheek gently as she squeezed at your hand, “but I do deeply appreciate it.” Her fingers tangled with yours, pulling your hand up to her lips to lay a kiss on the back of it.

“With the amount you spoil me it’s the least I could do.” You replied with a quiet laugh, draining your drink before placing the cup down on a side table. Liz hummed, her eyes dropping to your bracelet on the arm she still held up. Her gaze focused on it, eyes narrowing slightly as she examined it, her brow beginning to furrow. “What?” You asked, heart picking up in your chest as you watched her expression harden.

“This bracelet… it’s awfully personal.” Her hand dropped yours before circling your wrist, twisting your arm back and fourth to examine the jewelry.

“It’s my birthstone, yeah.” You laughed awkwardly “surrounded by yours.”

Her eyes examined it for a moment longer, pulling your wrist closer until she let out a small huff, “that’s not blue topaz, those are diamonds. They’re pulling the light from the sapphires, where did you get this?”

“You.” You chuckled again, feeling your heartbeat pick up in your chest, “one of those little secret Santa gifts you’ve been leaving.”

“It’s not from me.”

“Liz, there’ve been so many packages delivered I can’t even keep track of them, you probably ordered it months ago and forgot.”

“That’s Buccellati. I think I would remember spending that much money on you.” She scoffed, dropping your arm as she turned from you with an eye roll. “And half of those gifts were a don’t open until Christmas.”

“I just said I couldn’t keep track.” You retorted, feeling the annoyance beginning to build up through your veins.

“And I know that’s not from me.” She replied, frustration bubbling up inside of her, she’d been dealing with so much already she’d just wanted to have a nice night out and now this was ruining everything. Then again, maybe things had been ruined before she’d even realized, “diamonds mean someone born in April, or someone that likes you an awful lot and you don’t keep in touch with any family and not to offend but none of your friends could afford that.”

“I told you, it’s from you.” Your voice hardened and she laughed, shaking her head.

“Come on y/n, you’re better than that. That’s the oldest lie in the book.” She picked up a bottle of scotch, pouring out a few ounces and taking a swig as she spoke, “go around galivanting with someone else and when you get caught gaslight your partner into thinking it was them all along.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been so distant!” Her voice raised ever so lightly, tensing as she spoke, her mouth tightening in that all too familiar pissed off way. “I’ve barely seen you all month, you always wait until the morning to call me back, your texts are far and few in between and the few times I’ve tried to stop by your apartment you’re out! God.” She shook her head with a heavy laugh, “I don’t know how I didn’t put it together earlier that you were seeing someone else.”

“Did you just accuse me of cheating on you?!” Anger jolted through you as you immediately saw red, an offended scoff leaving your lips.

“Well how else would you explain it!?” Her hands flailed in your general direction.

“You’re the one who keeps cancelling fucking dates Liz! I’ve been completely accommodating of your work schedule and how demanding it’s been recently. You’ve barely seen me because you keep blowing me off! Sorry that I’m not at your beck and call, I was trying to give you space and time to regroup from work! I didn’t realize I was supposed to mope around my apartment and wait for you to find a sliver of time for me, sorry that I have other friends to spend time with who actually give a shit.”

“So you admit you’ve been seeing someone?”

“I’m not fucking doing this.” Your hands shot up in surrender, “you’re being insane all over a fucking bracelet.”

“A seven thousand dollar bracelet!” She snapped back, “what would you like to do, go through my bank records?”

“No.” Grabbing your coat you headed for the door, “you can do that yourself and wake up from this fucking delusion where I would cheat on you. I cannot believe you would ever accuse me of something like that, I thought you trusted me!”

The door was pulled open and you were halfway down the steps by the time she called after you, “fine! Walk out on another fucking date, no surprise there!”

Christmas Eve was finally upon you and instead of being out celebrating like you thought you would be, you were curled up in the bay window of your apartment watching the snow coat the city in a thick blanket. The remnants of Chinese takeout splayed across the coffee table while the television blared quietly in the background, some marathon of holiday movies still going.

Letting out a heavy sigh you picked up the bottle of wine from beside you, topping up your glass before taking a sip as your gaze redirected out into the night once again. You hadn’t heard from Liz in nearly two weeks, the two of you no doubt trapped in a game of ‘Say Uncle’, waiting for the other to admit they were wrong before any reconciling could begin. It wasn’t the first time you’d fought and if things started moving forward again you were certain it wouldn’t be the last, she was strong willed and always would be. You were hoping that this time in light of the holiday season maybe you would be getting an apology but it appeared she was digging her heels in, burying herself in work while trying to push the image of you with another woman out of her head rather than talking her way through it.

You’d spent some time thinking about it, imagining the last couple of months from Liz’s point of view and you were starting to maybe see where she was coming from. There had been more time apart than usual, more nights of cancelled dates spent apart rather than her coming home late from work to find you making her home warm and welcoming. You’d been busy, actually accepting the offers for holiday parties and meet ups with friends in town for the season rather than sitting around bored at home. But you reminded yourself that just because she might have had the excuse to be suspicious didn’t mean the argument and her accusation was justified.

Letting out another sigh as you sucked back your wine you were debating reheating some leftover Chinese, your stomach beginning to rumble when your attention was pulled to the door. Your head tilted for a moment, wondering if you were hearing things from the television or not but the second knocking came though loud and clear. A small groan escaped your lips as you untangled yourself from the blanket, stretching out stiff muscles as you padded through your apartment to the door, pulling it open to a very lavish bouquet of poinsettias and red and white roses, it was only after a moment that you realized who was holding it.

“Thomas?” You let out a huff, “seriously, she’s making you do her bidding on Christmas Eve? You deserve a break, and a raise. If she can’t be bothered to drop them off herself I don’t want them.”

“Her?” He asked with a tilt of the head.

“Liz.” You rolled your eyes, “I knew she liked having minions to do shit like this but this is so not cool.”

“Ms. Donnelly?” His nose scrunched, “no, these are from me.”

“Oh.” You stalled in your movement, taking a step back from the door to open it wider, “I guess… come in then.”

“Thanks.” He flashed you a smile, quickly stepping into the apartment, following you so he could place the bouquet down on the kitchen island.

“You know, you really didn’t have to bring me anything.”

“Well, you’re pretty big on Christmas, aren’t you?” He gestured around your apartment, eyes sweeping through the decorations, the large tree in the corner with piles of gifts wrapped underneath it, “everyone deserves a little bit of holiday cheer.”

“Yeah.” You sighed, smiling softly across from him.

“Besides, after I saw you were actually wearing the bracelet the last time you swung through the office I figured I should stop playing secret Santa and reveal myself.” His eyes flicked down to your wrist and a frown took over his face, “but… you’re not wearing it now.”

“Hmph,” you mumbled over a sip of wine, “Liz and I got into a big fight over it, kinda left a bad taste in my mouth.”

“Oh…” He stuttered a moment, wringing his hands while he gathered his words and you took another sip of your drink, “I thought it looked quite nice. You know, my birthday’s in April, always thought diamonds and sapphires complimented each other well.”

The wine glass in your hand paused halfway back to the kitchen island and you did your best to not let it show on your face as ice began to run through your veins. The wheels were spinning in your brain, trying to make it make sense and if there was ever a moment to trust your gut, you knew this was it. Before you could fully process everything Thomas spoke again,

“I like what you did with the shadowboxes,” he gestured to the wall above the television, “they had them in your favourite colour too, but I thought that might clash with the rest of the room. I’m glad the silver looks so nice.”

“Thanks…” The glass finally met the island gently as your fingers slipped off it, gripping the edge of the counter.

“Oh and that blanket!” His eyes lit up with excitement when he saw the one you’d previously been curled up in, “isn’t it the softest thing you’ve ever felt?” You nodded slowly, “bought one for myself when I picked it up.” He was nearly two steps into your living room by the time you found your voice, clearing your throat before you spoke.

“Hey Thomas…”

“Yeah?” He whipped around, a gleam in his eye and wide smile on his face.

“How did you know where I live?” You asked slowly, keeping your tone calm and cool in an attempt to keep him in the same mood he was in currently, completely unaware that the hair on the back of your neck was standing up.

“After our date at Trattoria we shared a cab.” He reminded you, “dropped you off first.”

“Date…” You nodded slowly, an unsure smile on your lips.

“Well,” he laughed, “I guess it would’ve been more of a date if you’d let me pay for dinner, but I’ll take what I can get.”

“Uh-huh.” You picked up your wine glass again, taking another sip as you watched him take in your apartment, “you know, my name’s not on a buzzer. You go knocking on everyone’s doors?”

“Nope.” He smiled brightly over at you, “told the cabbie to wait that night, wanting to make sure you got in alright. I saw your light flick on when you got in, just did my own investigative work to figure out which suite was yours.”

“I’ll add detective to your resume.” You gently teased and he chuckled, his fingers trailing over the back of your couch while his eyes dragged through your living room.

“Chow mein noodles…” he muttered, “I should’ve known.” He clicked his tongue, shaking his head at himself, “hope you didn’t mind the shanghai ones I had sent over.”

“Hmm?” Your brow raised in his direction as your stomach began to churn.

“A couple of weeks ago.” He laughed softly, “you said you were dreading cooking dinner so I thought I’d help out a bit.”

“That was you…” You asked with a breath, feeling your heart starting to thud heavily in your chest.

“Well yeah.” He smiled brightly, “who else would it be?”

“Tell me something… how many times have you sent stuff to my apartment?”

“Food? At least once a week, I mean, you can’t forget to eat, it’s important.”

“Sure is.”

“The other stuff? Depended.” He shrugged, “I figured it’s Christmas so you should get treated a little more than usual, flowers, treats. I went through your Amazon list,” he nodded toward the tree, “though I’m figuring some of that’s still under there.”

“Okay, but why?”

“Because you deserve it.” He stepped toward you and you fought every instinct in your brain to step back, not wanting to get a negative response out of him, “you’re so beautiful, so kind and sweet. I mean, it didn’t take much to fall in love with you.”

“Oh Thomas I—”

“Was I too secretive with my Santa game?” He laughed, “did you not realize they were all from me?”

“No.. no I did not.”

“Well, surprise.” He replied with a sheepish grin, “I was your secret admirer.”

“I didn’t even realize I had one.” You replied with an awkward laugh, praying that he would stay the two feet away from you he currently was.

“What’d you mean?” He asked, his face falling, “who did you think they were from?”

“Well, to be completely honest, Liz.”

“Ms. Donnelly?” His face scrunched, “why would any of them be from her?”

“Because I am her girlfriend.” Liz’s voice growled through the apartment and you jumped, having not realized the door had never been shut behind Thomas. You had no idea how long she had been standing there or how much she had heard but one thing was clear; she was absolutely livid. “What the hell do you think you’re doing here?”

“It’s practically Christmas.” He gestured around, “I thought that was the best time to make romantic declarations.”

“Is that so?” Liz asked, her brow raising before whatever was in her hands found home on the entry way table and a dark gleam took over her eyes. “How about I tell you what the best thing to do is right now?” She stepped towards him and he visibly gulped, “you’re going to get the hell out of here and you’re never going to set foot on this block ever again. If I so much as catch a glimpse of you attempting to nose your way into her life, I’ll sick Stabler on you, understood?”

“Yes Ms. Donnelly.” He nodded, shrinking around himself as he ducked his gaze, attempting to step around her to get over to the door.

“And I think it’s very clear you don’t need to show up at work after the holidays, you’re fired. Don’t expect any good references either.”

She followed him toward the door, making sure he was scurrying his way to the stairs before she swung it shut behind him, flicking the lock for extra security. Her eyes closed for a moment and she took a deep breath before turning to you, noticing the way you were clutching the counter so tight your knuckles were white.

“Are you alright?” She asked, her voice impeccably soft as she cautiously stepped toward you, a hand soothing its way up your arm and you looked up at her, a slight shake in your voice.

“Kinda feel like I’m gonna be sick.” You ran your hand over your face, letting out a low breath, “god I was so stupid, how could I not realize?” You leant back into the counter, “I really did think it was you sending me everything.”

“Everything?” Her brow raised as her arm wound around your waist, pulling you to her so she could leave a soft kiss on your temple. “It wasn’t just the flowers?”

You shook your head, rolling your eyes at the lavish bouquet that you wanted nothing more than to toss in the garbage, “he’s been sending me things for months, and I don’t even know what was him and what was you.”

“Has he been following you?” She asked, worry taking over her voice.

“I dunno.” You shrugged, “we split a cab after drinks one night, dropped me off first but who knows, that was probably part of the plan.”

“I thought I was going overboard mentioning Stabler but now I’m starting to think it may be a good idea.” Her eyes swept through your apartment, taking in all the new trinkets that hadn’t been there the last time she was, “I’m going to get him to run Thomas’ name, do a more thorough background check, and let’s get you out of here, you’re staying at my place until New Years.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She squeezed at your hand.

“You’re not… mad anymore?” You asked and her face fell before she let out a weary sigh, shaking her head.

“Absolutely not. I was over worked and stressed and came to a very wrong conclusion when I should have seen how suspicious that was from a different angle.”

“You know I’d never cheat on you, right?” You couldn’t help the tears swimming into your eyes, both at the question and the fact that you were pretty shaken up considering your evening.

“Oh sweetheart.” Liz stepped forward again, her hands cupping your cheeks as she leant in to kiss you, her lips brushing against yours while she spoke, “of course I do. I know how much you love me and I love you even more than you could imagine. I’m so sorry I said those terrible things. You’re the greatest partner I could ask for, always so understanding when I have to shuffle things around, I should be praising the ground you walk on.”

“Okay well now you’re going overboard.” You let out a watery laugh, smiling as you leant forward to kiss her again.

“Nonsense.” She kissed the tip of your nose, “my girl deserves the absolute best.”

“The absolute best would be getting the fuck out of here; I feel like I need to burn half my belongings.” You shuddered and she squeezed at your shoulders, directing you toward the door.

“Grab what you need. We can come back in a couple of days to sort through everything and figure out what came from that creep and what I had sent over.”

“Okay.” You slipped into your coat, grabbing your bag grabbing Liz quickly before she ushered you out the door “thank you. I love you.”

“I love you more sweetheart.”

You’d fully calmed down a couple of hours later, curled up in Liz’s arms on her couch at her very comfortable and very private brownstone. A warm glow casted from the fully decorated tree in the corner, the main source of light in the room as Christmas movies played on the television and fluffy snowflakes drifted through the air outside. You let out a soft sigh, burrowing further into her embrace and in return her arm squeezed at you, her lips brushing against your hairline as the curved up into a smile. You both knew that no matter what the world threw at you, you had each other, you were safe and loved and there was no one else you’d rather spend the holidays or your lives with.

__________________

@svulife-rl @mickey-gomez @yesterdaysgone @momlifebehard @alexusonfire @alexxavicry @rainbowelshrhian @daddy-heather-dunbar @evilregal2002 @ladysc @dextur @disneyfan624 @kdaghay @svushots @onmykneesformarvel @kalixxh @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @louderfortheback @noahrex @temp0rary-bliss @wittygutsy @imlike-so-gaydude @gay-frogs08 @baubeautyandthegeek

#storiesofsvuholidaybingo2023 #elizabeth donnelly #elizabeth donnelly x reader #law and order #law and order svu #svu #law and order: svu #law and order special victims unit #elizabeth donnelly comfort #elizabeth donnelly one shot #liz donnelly #liz donnelly x reader

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lizdonnelly · 4 months

Text

Appearances

Pairing: Elizabeth Donnelly x f!reader, suggestions of Alex Cabot x Olivia Benson Warnings: Smut, language Summary: "We do not see people as they are, but as they appear to us." Takes place after the events of 3x21 ‘Denial'

---

Alex Cabot would admit to being many things, but a pushover was not one of them. The ADA crossed her arms and adjusted herself on the bench within the cell, adamant that back talking to Lena Petrovsky would be worth the ass chewing that would surely ensue when the news reached the Bureau Chief that her subordinate was being held in contempt. Adjusting her watch, Alex realized it was already well past six. She bit the inside of her cheek at the thought of Liz receiving the phone call during dinner. While the woman was typically volatile enough as it was, any interruptions Alex had spurred on after hours lately had inspired an especially caustic response. A few rumors were circulating around the DA's office, and to their credit, they tracked with the reputation that preceded Liz.

"Elizabeth Donnelly? They're promoting that radical feminist?" Arthur Branch had scoffed over a glass of whiskey at the annual holiday benefit when he had asked Alex who had the honor of being her new boss. "She had everyone's balls in an iron vice back in the 70's until she let a perp escape out the bathroom window. Ruined her reputation, but didn't fix that attitude."

Alex feigned a smile in acknowledgement, tracing her thumb along the edge of her champagne flute. She couldn't lie, her family ties and pedigree had certainly helped carry her through the conservative boy's club that the DA's office had been, but she liked to believe she knew enough of the script to ease through on her own accord. If it worked at Harvard, how could it be any different at Manhattan SVU?

"You know, it's always been an open secret that she bats for the other team," Arthur derided. "Explains a lot, don't you think?" Alex's blood cooled.

"Here's what I don't understand..." Ripped back to reality at sound of the harsh, staccato voice that echoed down the hall, Alex braced herself. She straightened her back out and smoothed her brow. Time to test her resolve. "Yes, ma'am. That's correct, she's just down that way. Check the second cell on the right."

--- Liz turned to you before she headed down the hallway, voice softening. "Stay here while I go give her a reality check," she said. "It shouldn't take long." You nodded, leaning against the guard's desk. You adjusted your grip on the takeout bag that you had asked the restaurant for as soon as Liz received the call. Although your shift at Mercy General's ER had been fatiguing, the idea of a cozy dinner with your girlfriend had carried you through the workday. With drama stirring up again on Liz's end, it had been about a week since you'd last been able to have a proper night out with her. Despite your understanding of the responsibility that came with her career, an all too familiar feeling had begun clawing its way through you. "You cold over there all by your lonesome, miss?"

Startled, you turned around. Two guards stood behind the desk, and one winked.

"Sweetheart?" Liz stood in the doorway of her bedroom. You paused your motions, eyes widening as you looked up at her.

"You must be cold all alone like that," she said faintly, slowly walking closer. "Run out of patience waiting for me to get back?"

It was true. Although you had only started formally dating her for a few months at the time, you both fell quicker and harder than you thought you could. You felt a wave of shame at succumbing to the ache that had gnawed at you, broke you. She had been pulled into a particularly demanding case, and hadn't been able to follow through on a date night in over two weeks. Liz had suggested you spend the night, promising she'd be home before midnight to make reparations for lost time, but you had made the mistake of watching her get dressed for her court appearance earlier that day. It was stupid, really, to get caught up in the thought of it like some hormonal teenager. A woman as put together as she was surely wouldn't take well to finding out that you could cave so easily.

But her hands were smoothing up the bare skin along your back now, pulling you off your spot straddling the pillow and flush against her suit. She pressed a kiss to your temple.

"Here, darling," came her voice in your ear. She patted her thigh. Hesitantly, you shifted up into place and began to grind against it, burying your face into the crook of her neck. Your cheeks burned.

"Come on, it's alright. You can make a mess."

The guard pulled the zipper down on his jacket.

"I've dealt with worse," you managed, not sure whether the words were really meant for him or as a reminder to yourself. You tugged at the corner of your coat and looked over at the men. Something about the way they were eyeing you now began to unnerve you. Your heartbeat quickened. You tried your best to tuck your hospital ID badge into your pocket before they could get a good look at it. "Is that so? Snow's supposed to get real bad tonight," the guard continued, swapping glances with his coworker and grinning. He stepped forward towards you. "You know what they say's the best way to keep warm?" The man waggled his eyebrows, both of them now chuckling. "With my foot up your ass," came Liz's voice as she rounded the corner. She pulled you under her arm, leading you towards the exit. She cast a look over her shoulder that you weren't able to catch, but the sound of the guards' boots squeaking out of the room said it all. ---

Running a hand through her hair, Alex made her way through the station, thankful for the dim lighting now that her eyes burned with fatigue. Lewin had succeeded in making peace with Petrovsky, although it took hours for the news to reach the ADA. Fortunately, Olivia had the patience of a saint. The detective had been more than willing to meet up with her for a late night dinner once Alex was able to drop a few things off at her desk. The thought of nursing a warm bowl of soup almost made up for the fact that her shirt was beginning to stick to her skin. Her mind wandered to the idea of sitting across from those wide, chocolate puppy dog eyes that always held such an earnest fire in them. Something began to stir within Alex, but she shook it off, digging her nails into her arms. Olivia was a talented detective. Her empathy and ability to make people feel heard was what made victims able to open up to her. It was just a skill that also happened to benefit her coworkers, nothing more.

As the ADA turned the corner, she paused.

The door to Liz's office was open. One of the lamps had been turned on inside, and a hazy glow filtered out across the darkened hallway. The Bureau Chief was standing in the doorway, hands grasping at the hips of a woman in a pair of scrubs. Everything in Alex stilled as she saw the woman lean up and run a hand through Liz's short, swept back hair. There was a warmth that radiated in her boss' eyes that she had trouble believing could exist there. The woman whispered something to Liz, and whatever had been said caused Liz to pull her forward into a bruising kiss.

Alex hid back behind the corner, unsure of how to process catching Liz Donnelly slide her tongue down another woman's throat. Waiting for the sound of the door to close, Alex pushed herself flat against the wall. Much to her dread, footsteps began to head towards her. Her adrenaline spiked.

Knowing there was no way to call the elevator in time, the ADA dipped into an open conference room nearby, hoping the clicking of her heels wouldn't give her away. Not long after, Liz rounded the corner, briefcase in hand. She furrowed her brow and looked around. Alex held her breath, knowing that she'd burn the remainder of her nine lives at the DA's office if the woman found out what she'd seen.

Fortunately, Liz slipped into the women's restroom.

Alex's phone buzzed within her pocket. "Where are you? Donnelly still giving you trouble?"

Alex paused before typing her response. "Got sidetracked, sorry. Be there soon."

--- At Liz's insistence, you settled into one of the leather chairs in her office and left the takeout bag on the table for you both to dig into once she returned. Looking around, you took in the sight of all the awards and fancy, framed pieces of paper hanging along the walls with signatures of names that meant nothing to you but surely held some sort of high regard in the legal world.

Melinda had warned you that Liz didn't have the most gracious demeanor. She said the prosecutor was about as cold as they come, aside from those that ended up on her table. However, that didn't stop her from urging you to confront your feelings for the woman in the same breath. It had been over a year of tiptoeing around the subject before you both ended up confessing feelings over drinks. Somehow, it all felt much more real getting to finally see the office that soaked up so much of her time.

Sucking in your bottom lip, you tasted her on you again.

Your eyes landed on her desk. Heat began to pool in the bottom of your stomach at the thought of her gazing over at you from behind it. Cautiously, you got up and walked over. You ran your fingers along the edge of the wood, chuckling at both how much of a statement piece it was and how impersonal Liz kept it. Apart from the heavy, gold nameplate, there wasn't much across it that would make it clear who worked there. For all the years you devoted to medical school, you certainly didn't have anything with as much pomp and circumstance with your name on it. Accidentally pushing a drawer open in the process, you came face to face with something unexpected. Tucked halfway underneath a few blank memo pads in the drawer was a newspaper clipping. In it, you smiled widely at the camera, accepting an award on behalf of the trauma unit at Mercy General. The article had been published over two years ago. "Feeling nosy, eh?"

You jumped at the sound of Liz's voice from across the room. Strangely, she had changed into a pair of suit pants. She set her briefcase to the side, and you heard her lock the door. "Where'd you get this?" "Judging by the looks of it, the newspaper, sweetheart."

You rolled your eyes and giggled.

"They teach you those skills in law school?" It was her turn to laugh now.

She made her way across the dimly lit room to wrap herself around your back. You felt her press a kiss to the back of your neck. "I picked up the paper at the cafe by my home one morning, and wouldn't you know it, there was the name of the adorable woman in scrubs I kept seeing order her croissants there," she said, smiling into your skin. "It made up for all the shitty coffee I dealt with to get a chance to see her."

"That was a few months before Melinda introduced us at the gala," you said. "I don't remember ever seeing you there, and I could never forget the night we first met." She pressed up against your back. You felt the bulge in her pants and bit your lip. The impromptu outfit change suddenly made sense. "I like to keep some things to myself," she whispered. She shifted, positioning the outline of the strap to nudge the space between your legs. "Other things, not so much."

You gasped, eyes fluttering shut. "Here? Are you sure?" "Bend over, sweetheart." "What if someone-" Liz nipped at your earlobe, and the words died in your throat. "Hush," she whispered, patting her desk. Mind swimming and desire taking over, you leaned over the edge of her desk. You moaned at the feeling of her hands sliding up the back of your thighs. Suddenly, you felt her loop her fingers into your waistband, easing your pants and underwear off. You let your forehead hit the surface of the desk at the feeling of the cool air hitting your ass. "I've thought about this all too often," Liz whispered. She kept her voice low, but it only further added to your arousal. "You're even more gorgeous like this than I imagined." You gasped at the feeling of her swiping two fingers along your pussy, not sure of how long you'd be able to hold out like this. Liz chucked. "How long have you been wet like this for me?" "I told you earlier," you panted, thinking of the kiss you had shared in her doorway. "Y-you look so good tonight." Liz rewarded you by stroking her fingers around your entrance. You whined at her touch, hips bucking up towards her. She used her free hand to tug her pants open. "Oh god, Lizzie... please," you choked as she began running the toy through your folds.

At the sound of the nickname only you were allowed to call her, and only in the privacy of the heated moments you shared, she withdrew her fingers and eased the length of her strap inside you.

You gripped the edge of the desk as she began thrusting at a steady pace, her hands settling along your thighs to deepen her movements. The sound of your panting, the smacking of your ass against her, and the occasional restrained moans she fought back filled the air around you.

From along the bookshelf at the other side of the room, you caught a glimpse of yourself across the reflective surface of one of the awards she displayed, Liz mounted over you. Following your glance, the prosecutor snickered, leaning down to pull you into a kiss. "Do you like seeing me on top of you like this, darling?" she said, dragging her teeth across the soft spot exposed along your neck. You bit back a wail. "I can't...I'm going to..." you felt the waves of pleasure threatening to spread across your body. You fought to still them as much as you could, but the way she was pushing up against that spot deep inside you threatened to drive you mad. Your moans became less coherent, and you reached back to grab at her frantically. "Go ahead," she panted, her voice now strained. "Cum on my cock, sweetheart, you can do it." Your mind went fizzy, and the floodgates finally burst. Liz fucked you through your orgasm, hands soothing you up your shirt and all across your back. Not long after, you felt her grind up against you, finally collapsing. "Fuck!" she cried out, a little louder than she probably would have liked.

But what did it really matter? Who would be still around at this time of night?

--- "What did she hit you with this time?" Olivia asked, walking alongside the ADA as they both headed towards the elevators. Alex hit the button and shook her head. "That I need to stay in my own lane if I want to keep this job." Olivia rewarded her with a grin. Alex felt something in her stomach flip. "So not that bad this time. That's something," the detective said. The doors opened, and the pair walked in. Alex watched as Olivia thumbed the button for the ground floor. It was nearly two in the morning, yet the detective still had a lightness in her step. The prosecutor's eyes furtively scanned the woman as the elevator began its descent. She paused, noticing Olivia had a bit of a cowlick at the back of her pixie cut. Without thinking, Alex reached out and ran her fingers through the back of Olivia's hair, smoothing it out. Olivia hummed in response. The elevator halted. The doors opened, and Alex froze. She locked eyes with none other than Liz Donnelly, who stood behind the woman the ADA had seen her with earlier. Several strands of the short, blonde locks that Liz kept so neatly maintained were now plastered to her forehead with sweat. Her suit jacket hung around the arms of the woman she was with. Alex saw the Bureau Chief's eyes dart over to the hand the ADA still had threaded in Olivia's hair. The two lawyers met each other's gaze again. Unaware of the telepathic recognition of mutually assured destruction that was unfolding around her, the woman tugged Liz into the elevator with her. Alex removed her hand from Olivia's hair and found anything to look at but her boss. "Do you have any plans for the night?" the woman piped up, trying to make small talk with Alex and Olivia. "Staying in my lane," Alex said.

#elizabeth donnelly #elizabeth donnelly x reader #svu

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chestnutninny · 8 days

Text

Masterlist

Fluff, Smut, Angst

Law & Order: SVU

Casey Novak

Tender, Loving Care

Olivia Benson

SFW Alphabet

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Alex Cabot

Elizabeth Donnelly

Second Chances

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Rita Calhoun

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Sonya Paxton

Abigail Borin

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NCIS

Celebrities

I Thought I Hated You

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Lady Gaga

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Stranger Things

Renee Rapp

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Jennifer Lawrence

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Diane Neal

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Eddie Munson

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Robin Buckley

Nancy Wheeler

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smartycvnt · 8 months

Note

A blurb with Elizabeth Donnelly and 19. "Quality over quantity." "I don't like waiting." Please?

"If you rush me, it won't turn out right," Elizabeth warned. She didn't honestly expect you to heed her warning, but she was glad that it momentarily shut you up.

"How much longer until I can torch it?"

"I would have expected a surgeon to have better patience than this," Elizabeth teased. You stuck your tongue out at her as you walked around the counter to examine the little desserts that she was making.

#svu x reader #law and order svu x reader #elizabeth donnelly x reader #blurb #ficlet #mini fic #fic blurb #drabble #fic drabble

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i-just-cannot · 4 months

Note

Do you have any Elizabeth Donnelly/fem!reader headcanons?

Hey anon! I do have a few thoughts so here they are!! :)

I think that the first thing is that Liz loves having someone to pamper a little, and her girlfriend is a little bit younger than her

Elizabeth’s past relationships were usually not love fests like, so she doesn’t understand that she’s loveable, you are able to slowly show her that, it’s not an easy feat though

Liz is naturally a little possessive because she doesn’t open up easily and now that you’re hers she wants everyone to know it

Her love language is gifts for sure, flowers and jewelry are often given or sent over

I don’t think that she would be in a relationship with somebody in her from the DAs office (however Donnelly x Casey is very cute) but you can keep up with her friends and other lawyers very easily and she loves that

There are lots of weekly dinner parties and things to attend but she loves you’re quiet time together the most

*I know this is short but I thought it was cute!! :)

#elizabeth donnelly #elizabeth donnelly x reader

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mickey-gomez · 2 years

Text

Tough

Chapter 6 of Fade Into You

Warnings/Tags: Mentions of SVU cases, angst, fluff, anxiety, minor alcohol consumption, smut if you squint.

Pairing: Rita/Reader

Characters: Alex, Cragen, Stabler, Rita & Liz.

A/N: Sorry this update took a long time. I’m just getting over a pretty heart wrenching break up, and it’s hard to want to write anything about love or the blossoming of it, when you’re going through that. But alas, here it is. There’s dialogue altered and used from 2x01 and 5x05 but instead of Alex or Casey, it’s Y/N. This is the start of the Rita relationship, and the Alex friendship. It’s quite long, this is your warning. Special thanks to @storiesofsvu for the help.

The following morning you and Alex met with Captain Cragen, breakfast at The Waldorf Astoria, against your better protests. You had proposed to have your so-called ‘breakfast meeting’, somewhere close to the precinct, a place that didn’t have this distinct display of privilege and grandioseness.

Your protests had been disregarded and you found yourself falling back into old familiar habits of appeasing her, of not speaking up or allowing yourself a voice. Following familiar patterns that you’d worked so hard to break off from.

It wasn’t that Alex was an inherently obnoxious person, just that she had a tendency to exhibit the sorts of behaviours that could deter people from her presence. You knew that her little display outside of the Morris Commission yesterday had been to assert her authority, to show that she wasn’t about to be knocked down, that she wasn’t a marionette that could be manipulated in the ongoing games between the District Attorney’s office and One Police Plaza.

She was so headstrong that to anyone who didn’t know her personally or intimately, she seemed to carry herself with a thick air, one that reeked of arrogance and entitlement. Underneath all of that was an unbelievably kind and empathetic woman, one who had barred her soul to you, and one that you had been so incredibly in love with at one point. You wanted everyone else to see that, but you found that gradually more difficult when she was presenting herself with this display of a superior and smug facade.

“Look the recidivism rate for rapists and child molesters is far more onerous than that of murders. The public knows that. The public cares about victims’ rights.” You spoke as the three of you sat down.

“And.. Live victims give better sound bites than dead ones.” He said in a gruff and short tone as he took his seat on your left, eyeing you both warily.

“They vote too” Alex smirked, and you felt your chest constrict tightly with her words. This was that part of Alex you didn’t like, that was once again rearing its ugly head. The one that had worried you yesterday, and into this morning.

“I don’t.” he deadpanned as the waiter approached to pour out coffee for the three of you. “I used to but.. Well.. look at the choices. I don’t care much for city politics these days. The mollifying, the scapegoating..” The three of you knew he wasn’t talking about politics, he was giving a direct lashing to both of you. “It’s why there’s a Morris Commission. It’s why you’re both at SVU. I gotta tell you something, I really don’t see why I should trust either of you.” You were both silent for a moment, gaze narrowed as you carefully chose your next words, he was testing you, throwing a line into the water, waiting to see what you’d bite back with.

“Captain.. we intend to stand on your shoulders to reach a broader constituency, why would we shorten our grasp?” Alex crossed her arms and leaned forward, and you sighed, she had done it again. Just like the day before, she had put her foot in it. Instead of reassuring him, she had highlighted her own agenda, once again coming across as self-centred and superior.

She was laying her cards on the table, inherently showing that she wasn’t a team player. It didn’t really surprise you at this point, she was blinded by her own ambition, but a part of you was fearful you’d be painted with the same stained brush.

You had always known she desired a career in politics, and that ambition was something that initially attracted you to her, but now at this age and as ‘old friends’, you found it repelling in the way she luridly displayed it. Instead of working with the team, she was fending off even the slightest notion of it.

“Captain, what I think Alex is trying to say is that we intend to work with you and your squad to deliver justice for all victims, and to set a precedent that the city will not tolerate violence against women or children, sexually motivated or not.” You spoke assertively, quickly attempting to save the conversation and your meeting. Wanting to gain his respect and trust, and to make up for Alex’s misgivings.

They two of them returned eyes, sizing one another up across the table, waiting for a crack to form. You felt like you were invisible, merely a player sidelined on the bench as they drew their weapons, those that were better shown in the things left unsaid.

“Okay. Maybe this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” His speech was short and curt, and had an underlying hint of sarcasm. He reached into the bag at his feet, pulling out a stack of files. “Our open cases” he placed them onto the table, and you watched out of the corner of your eye as Alex began to smirk. As she opened up her mouth to speak, you kicked her under the table, preventing her from running her mouth.

“Thank you but we’ve already had a look at those” You smiled politely, and he eyed you suspiciously. You had briefly thought of accepting the files, pretending to be blissfully unaware, to placate him. But you couldn’t expect to build a working relationship with deceit stewing under the surface, and you would want him to afford you the same respect if your roles had been reversed.

“Friends in high places Ms Grant?”

“No, it just pays to be civil and polite. Doesn’t it Alex?” You directed your gaze towards her, hoping that she’d halt the air of arrogance she was displaying, that she’d stop with her false displays and her sneering.

--------------

As the meeting ended, you found yourself sauntering in anger towards the elevator. Almost as if it was a rerun of the day prior, your sentiments remaining the same, your wrath still seething below the surface.

“How do you keep doing that?” you shook your head in anger as your thumb darted out to punch at the elevator buttons.

“Doing what?” she lulled, acting as if she had no idea what you were referring to.

“Alienating our squad before we’ve even started”

“They’re not our squad” she muttered under her breath, and her utterance hit you. Anger rising in your throat as you finally realised just how clueless she truly was.

“This is what’s going to be your undoing! This isn’t like narcotics or white collar, we’re going to be working with the same detectives on each case. We’re stuck with this squad, for every goddamn case! Are you so ignorant that you don’t realise that?”

Her eyes simmered and she opened her mouth to speak again, to spar back with you, you held your hand up, barring her from debating with you on this.

“God Alex.. you piss them off now and you’ll have a real hard time getting the help you need to win cases. Our cases.” you hissed, pinching the bridge of your nose, as you paced the small space of the elevator.

“I don’t need help.” she scoffed and you felt your rage come to a boiling point.

“Keep telling yourself that.” The anger and wrath was rising, and your body shook as you stopped yourself from berating her further. To say something you wouldn’t be able to take back.

“Not everything is about you, you know?” you spat at her as the elevator doors opened and you stomped out through the foyer and onto the street. You ignored her as you threw your arm out to hail a cab.

“You’re right actually, you don’t need help.” You spun back around to face her. “You can fuck this up all on your own. But I will not stand idly by as you drag me down with you.”

The cab pulled up and you climbed in, loudly slamming the passenger door closed as you rattled off the Foley Square address. She reached her hand out, in an attempt to open the door, and instead your cab drove off, leaving her there.

------------------

A soft knock on your office door pulled your attention away from the files strewn in front of you, and you glanced up to find Alex standing sheepishly in the doorway. Your jaw squared and you clenched your teeth as you looked back at your work, choosing to ignore her.

“Look.. I’m sorry alright”

“What are you sorry for?” You weren’t letting her get off that easy. This was a pattern between the two of you. She’d say something that would upset you, and rather than owning up to it, admitting it, she’d deliver a blanket apology, to avoid talking about it and to sweep it under the rug. You wanted her to admit her mistakes, to realise what she’d done wrong so that it wouldn’t happen again, at least you hoped it wouldn’t.

“I was rude and obnoxious, and I’ve upset you.”

“When you disrespect him, you disrespect this entire institution. I can’t work with you if this is how you’re going to act, because you do realise that we’re both under the microscope right? That we’re being tested to see if we can actually work together”

“I don’t think Lewin..” she rolled her eyes and before she could continue you cut her off

“Who said anything about Lewin?” You raised your eyebrows and scoffed “Us being paired together has Liz’s fingerprints all over it.”

“You think?..” her face contorted in a wash of confusion for a moment, before a slow realisation hit her as she mulled over what you had just said.

“Yes. I do.” and as you spoke her mouth rounded into a perfect circle, an ‘oh’ leaving her. “You think it’s a coincidence that we’re both paired together? Paired to work SVU together? It’s to harden us both, see who comes out on top. She’s trying to force us to learn a hard lesson.” You were referring to your unproven assumption that Liz had meddled with your assignments, that she was trying to prove a point, that you couldn’t choose who you worked with.

“Survival of the fittest” Alex acknowledged, contemplating what exactly that meant, and that there might not be a spot for you both in this office in a year’s time, especially if she continued on the path she currently was travelling down.

“Exactly” you hummed and returned your attention back to the work in front of you, scanning your eyes over the affidavit. There were a few moments of silence that hung in the air between you both before Alex spoke again.

“So.. are you going to apologise as well?”

“For what?” Your voice immediately rose and you ripped your head back up from your desk, looking at her you immediately noticed the shit eating grin plastered on her face.

“Just kidding” she laughed and simultaneously you both made childish faces at the other, the skin of your faces pressing together and distorting.

“Some of us have work to do” you jokingly sighed as you stifled your laughter

“What do you want to do for lunch later?” she asked as she dramatically threw herself on the lounge, and you rolled your eyes at her antics.

-----------------------

The case you were currently working on was open and shut, the detectives had gotten a confession from Goren. Or so you thought it was open and shut, before you could even blink the case had spiralled and unravelled before your very eyes, there was a larger case to be prosecuted, one that was murky and soiled with depravity.

You empathised with the supposed killer you were tasked with prosecuting, having to endure that abuse for so many years, at the hands of an abuser who should have never been let out of jail, let alone in the name of national security.

The Pentagon had built a firewall around Croft during the gulf war, erasing his felony convictions, when the war ended it should have come down. But it hadn’t, and instead a convicted paedophile had been able to successfully apply for guardianship of an eight year old child. It made you sick to your stomach, and you felt it turn as the detectives stood in your office, showing you the files and apprising you of the gruesome details.

“Oh my god” you shuddered, horror laced in your tone as you looked up at the men standing in front of you.

“Eleven arrests, four convictions, more than we knew about. One in Canada” Detective Stabler rattled off, you could hear the disgust in his tone.

“It’s despicable.” You agreed. “I’ll speak to Todd Earl at Justice”

“Justice?” Cragen asked, stunned, staring wide eyed at you as you reached for your phone.

“We need to secure the chain of evidence” you looked at the both of them confused

“We didn’t bring this to you so you could make a federal case out of it.”

“What about Michael?” Stabler asked from his spot against your office wall, his hands shoved in his pockets.

“What about him?” you swallowed the acidic lump in your throat as you tried to push away your personal feelings about the case. Trying to remind yourself that you were doing a job, executing a direction from your office.

“He’s a child. A child raised by a paedophile for eight years. He was molested..”

“He denies it” you shrugged your shoulders “There’s no evidence here to contradict that denial.”

“Are you saying that he wasn’t abused?” Cragen raised his voice, anger seeping out of his mouth.

“I’m certain he was, however, absent Michael’s admission, you’re asking me to soft-pedal premeditated murder”

“You’re protecting your win loss ratio” Stabler spat and pointed his finger at you and it pierced through you.

“Elliot” Cragen sternly warned him from speaking further as he stood in front of you, his palms pressed firmly into your desk.

“It’s okay Captain, Detective Stabler’s judgement is clouded by the stress of the Morris Commission's review.” Stabler laughed softly as you spoke, shaking his head and you took a moment before speaking again, “And the fact that Michael did what he fantasises about.. Kill a perpetrator.” You looked squarely at him, fire burning within you, it was one thing to try and sway your prosecution, but another to insult you, especially in your own office, in front of his superior.

He narrowed his eyes at you as his laughter subsided, seething that you had read the transcripts from his psychological evaluation from the month prior. You hadn’t intended on ever bringing it up, or using it, but if he was going to hit hard, you would come back swinging.

You knew the two of them had come to you specifically because they believed you’d be easier to manipulate into getting what they wanted, having displayed far less combative behaviour in comparison to Alex. They had underestimated you, and it was clear by the looks on both of their faces.

“It’s not my fantasy and I stand with Detective Stabler on this” Cragen stated loudly, your mind raced as you thought over your options, and how to proceed from this point.

“The kid had choices.” You sighed loudly and pushed your chair out from your desk, standing as you spoke. “He could have walked away, told a teacher, told a cop. Instead he murdered. We let him skate on this and what sort of choice will he make the next time he faces an untenable situation?”. The two of them stared at you, pleading with their gaze.

“Alright.” you sighed again, closing your eyes for a moment, giving yourself space to think, your resolve softening. “Either he corroborates the abuse or I ask the grand jury for an indictment on murder two.”

------------------

You watched on through the two way glass as the detectives tried to get Michael to talk, for him to corroborate the abuse, and your heart broke. His visceral reaction to the questioning gave you all the proof you needed, but he refused to admit it, and you swallowed the lump rising in your throat as you watched on.

“It’s murder two” you spoke softly as you tore your eyes away from the scene in front of you. “He’s returning his own indictment.” You turned and looked at Cragen, dejection and regret in your voice. “Sorry Captain''.

------------------

Your week went on and you spent it in front of a grand jury seeking out an indictment. It felt wrong but you pushed down those feelings, coming to terms with the fact that this was your job now, and there was no room for personal feelings or morals. The District Attorney wanted an indictment, and it was your job to deliver that.

You felt as conflicted as the detectives you were questioning on the stand, but you kept your mask firmly in place as you continued your line of questioning, leaning against the podium to support yourself, as to not falter or lose your momentum.

Afterwards, you sat in your office that Thursday afternoon, your mind racing as you thought over the whole case, your feelings over the whole thing simmering and threatening to boil over the surface. The shrill of your desk phone ringing startled you and pulled you out of your head as you quickly reached forward.

“Grant” you answered swiftly as you rested the corded phone on your shoulder, freeing up your hands to start digging through the mountains of paperwork on your desk.

“Hi” Rita’s voice purred through the phone. You had been expecting another call from the state department or another subpoena request from the special victims unit for the Goren case. Your hands stopped their ministrations when you heard her voice, your right hand flying up to quickly grip the phone.

“Hi yourself”

“Are we still on for Saturday?”

“I want to say yes, but at this stage it’s looking like I’m going to spend the weekend working.” you groaned and she laughed, low and throatily. It was a laugh you’d heard countless times before, heard as you’d argue case law over a glass of barrel aged scotch, the fire crackling next to the sofa, the same laugh she’d give you during a lengthy debate, the one that said ‘I told you so’.

“That’s okay. Why don’t we have dinner and go over the case? We could go somewhere close to the office, or you could come over for a glass of wine and take out?”

“You want to run through my case with me on your day off? You do this for all the new attorneys?”

“Only for the cute ones.” she laughed, “I’ll see you Saturday afternoon then.” You blushed as you hung up and felt a smile creeping up your features, the feelings swirling in your stomach lightening, rapidly being replaced with those of bliss and giddiness.

--------------------

When Saturday finally rolled around Rita had kept her word, surprising you by showing up early that evening, finding you hunched over your desk, pouring over notes and pages. She took a moment to observe you as she leant against the door frame, watching the way your lips moved, wisps of air leaving them as you narrated your line of questioning. The pen in between your fingers trailing not far behind, as the ink scrawled and travelled across the pages.

She waited until she was sure you were at the end of the page in front of you, and just as you wet your finger to turn over to the next page, she finally knocked lightly on the wood of the open door and your body instantaneously shot up at the noise, your eyes flashing to meet hers.

“Hey you” she smiled at you from the frame, and you felt a radiating sense of joy spread through you, before panic hit you.

“Shit what time is it?” you exhaled and quickly flicked your wrist up to check the time on your watch. It was later than you thought, and you scolded yourself for letting the time get away from you, for getting carried away and forgetting all about your supposed date.

“Well.. I can’t say that was the welcome I had hoped for” she smirked as she joked with you, seeming to enjoy the way you squirmed at it, and you felt yourself blush as you diverted your eyes away from her intense stare.

“Sorry” you shook your head lightly as you apologised, standing up from your desk and rounding it to greet her. Your arms wrapping around her, pressing a quick and soft kiss to her cheek. She moved towards the couch in the back of the room, and you were suddenly reminded of just how striking she truly was, the way her hips swayed as she moved, the way she carried herself, the way in which she flicked her hair over her shoulder as she looked at you and smiled at all of it.

“So.. I didn’t know what you’d feel like, so I just got a bit of everything from Joe’s. Crispy duck, szechuan beef, shrimp lo mein, soup dumplings..” she trailed on and then turned to you triumphantly, holding a bottle of red wine “And I also got a bottle of pinot”.

“God, you’re good” you laughed as you leant against your desk, crossing your arms as you tilted your neck and head, watching her. It was as if she had known you for the entirety of your life, you weren’t really surprised at this point, you couldn’t be. The two of you seemed to have this effortless flow with the other, perfect reads and cues unmasked over the years.

“I know” she remarked, that same gleam returning to her eyes once more. She stepped throughout the space, making herself at home as she dug through the cabinets in search of glasses. Pouring out the wine into the water tumblers, before settling herself on the lounge that sat against the back wall. “Are you just going to stand there? Or are you going to come sit down and have dinner?” she laughed, and you pushed yourself from your position across from her, to finally join her.

As you both ate and savoured the wine, you talked about your weeks, Rita filling you in on the events of hers. After much deliberation and thought, she had finally decided where she was going to land next, and had promptly handed in her notice to the DA’s office. She had agreed to see out the next four weeks in her current position, needing to tie up loose ends on her ongoing cases, and round off two more trials.

Every now and then she’d lean in as she was talking, her knee brushing against yours, but she didn’t move back or adjust herself.

“I’ve just felt off, like I couldn’t really bounce ideas off anyone, that I was lacking something by staying here. I don’t know if it’s a lack of substance, or feeling unchallenged, but I just need a change, you know?” she articulated as she turned to properly face you “Maybe I just needed a good sparring partner” she nudged her knee against yours and you dropped your view.

“No, I get it.” you acknowledged, “Well.. as much as I can.” nodding your head in agreement to her utterance. Silence filled the room as you both mulled over what she’d said, allowing it to marinate.

“If we can talk about something else, if I’m being truthful, complete honesty and all.. I missed you” You looked back up at her then, leaning forward.

“I missed you too” You sighed softly, and for once you ventured not to break eye contact, filling yourself with courage instead of cowardice and timidity. She moved her hands, almost hesitantly, as if she was on the edge of a boundary, one that she didn’t want to be the first to cross. Her eyes flicked down to your lips, she licked her thumb and brought it to your face, holding you gently as she rubbed it against your chin, travelling across your bottom lip.

“You have something there” She was so close to you, you could see the faint blush on her cheeks, could hear the faintest sigh leave her parted lips. Your heart was beating so hard, you felt it rattling against your ribs.

“So do you” you murmured. You knew what she was doing, but instead of shying away from her advance, you decided to be brave, to surge up towards her, and do as she had urged you days prior; take what you wanted.

“Do I?” It was a quick breath, and before she had the chance to utter another smart remark, you cut her off.

“Mm” You moaned as you finally leaned in and kissed her. Her kiss was warm and wild, in a way you’d come to expect, but in a way that differed from your previous kisses. She tasted of the wine you’d shared, unbelievably rich and full, and even in such a short time, you worried you’d never get enough.

You pressed further into her as both of your hands rested on the crests of the other's neck. She inched back just slightly, creating the smallest amount of space between you, brushing the hair from the side of your face.

“I’ve been thinking about this all week” She leaned in

“Me too” She wrapped you in her arms then, and kissed you again. She moved her lips over your face and neck, and with every movement you felt sparks sprouting throughout your whole body. Little fires igniting and spreading wildly across your skin, ones that were fed with quiet sighs and moans.

You both stayed like that for an extensive period, both of you content in continuing to explore one another, lips enveloping the other’s. She ran her tongue over your bottom lip and you moaned, feeling her smirk as she gripped your hips, pulling you onto her, until your knees laid beside her thighs and you were hovered above her.

It all felt so eerily familiar, the setting, both of your movements, the way her hands felt as they rested on your body, the way her lips felt on yours, the feeling as they touched fevered skin. It was all so faintly reminiscent of the first kiss you’d shared two years ago, and it made your head spin and your insides swirl; a delicate mix of hunger and gratifying intoxication.

Your hands ran through her hair, gripping tightly and pulling on the roots when she nipped at your lip, her mouth leaving yours to travel down your neck. You scratched at her scalp and moaned when her teeth found your earlobe. Pulling her back up to your mouth by her hair, pants and moans escaping your lips as your breaths expelled heavily.

The need for air finally broke the spell you were both under, and you rested your forehead against hers as shaky breaths left both of you. You sought out her lips again and she pulled back, her palm coming to rest on your cheek. You nibbled at the pad of her thumb as she ran over your bottom lip.

“So..” she hummed as her eyes surveyed yours, amusement glistening in them.

“So..” your lips curved into a faint smile, you leaned forward and brushed your nose against hers, and just as you went to claim her lips once more she pulled her head back until it rested against the back of the lounge.

“So let’s go over the case you’re working on. Walk me through it”

“Are you serious?” You exclaimed, your eyes widening.

“What?” She smirked, that grin claiming her lips once more, “Can’t afford for you to get distracted in your first week”

“You’re a fucking tease” She tipped her head back and let out a bark of laughter. Her eyes shifted, and a wash came over her when she turned back to you. The air had shifted again, and you leant forward, kissing her once more.

“I think you like that though” she whispered, her eyes glazed and heavy, “don’t you?”

“Uh uh, no freebies.” You shook your head and grinned, lowering your mouth until it was next to her ear. “You have to play to find out” you felt her shudder as you husked out the words, and you smirked before kissing her quickly and hastily once more, a chaste press of your lips.

You eventually pulled apart and you backed down, climbing off her, settling beside her as you walked her through the case. Voicing it all aloud instantly sobered you, your mind switching back as you regaled her of the details, of the outcome the DA wanted, and the truth of what both you and the SVU squad wanted. She thought quietly for a moment before she gave you the advice you were seeking, instructing you on how to do both, to keep all parties happy.

You would have to provoke the defendant on the stand, put an emphasis on the fact that his friend was going to testify to being sexually assaulted as well. Hopefully in order to get your defendant to admit to the abuse in front of the Grand Jury. By doing so, you wouldn’t be forced to seek an indictment for murder, your office would be compelled to grant leniency, and you would have fulfilled your obligations, and in the process you would have retained your morals, and kept the squad on your side.

---------------------

You had followed Rita’s advice, and on Monday during the Grand Jury, your defendant, Michael Goren had admitted to the abuse. He had gone as far to name a second perpetrator, truths had spilled from him as you poked and prodded him with your line of questioning. As they poured, you stood there shocked and disgusted as he gave graphic details of the abuse.

The grand jury voted to indict him on man two, a far better result for him than his initial indictment of murder. You negotiated a deal with his attorney, behind closed doors, to plead him out before it even went to trial. Feeling it was only just after the atrocities he’d been subjected to, and all that he had been forced to bear witness to over the years. You knew you would most likely be reprimanded for your actions, but you couldn’t live with yourself if so many of them were going to be like this. Where you would be prosecuting people who should have been helped long ago, the system having failed them; a system you were so intent on working in, carrying such blind ambition to change it for the better.

You sat in your office afterwards, staring off into space as your mind pulsated and raced with endless thoughts. If this was a win, why did you feel so undeniably awful? You had broken down a victim on the stand, reduced him to tears, forcing him to admit to his abuse in front of an audience of strangers; all in the name of justice.

There was a brief knock on your door before it opened, and you didn’t bother to raise your heavy head to see who it was. Liz walked through the doorway and stepped into your space, looking down at you briefly before roaming across the room and over to the cabinet to retrieve a set of glasses. She placed them down on the coffee table and poured out a few fingers of scotch from the bottle she had carried in with her.

She handed you the glass as she took a seat next to you on the small lounge, and you blindly accepted it, not meeting her eyes as you raised it to your lips. Taking a lengthy sip as you mulled over your first week, the amber liquid burned as it travelled down your hoarse and tired throat.

“I hear congratulations are in order.” she announced quietly, and you felt your stomach turn at the thought.

“Apparently” you whispered into the air, your stomach turned again and acid rose up your throat, “I feel sick”. She gripped your knee with her free hand, as silence and contemplation settled between the two of you.

“Nobody thinks they can do this at first.”

“I wanted homicide, not SVU. All the glory, no living victims.”

“One day” she hummed, patting your knee, and you weren’t sure if it was in solidarity, or in patronization.

“Yeah..” your voice shook as the breath left your lips, and you swallowed the rising lump in your throat, closing your eyes as you willed yourself not to cry.

“You know..” she sighed before she continued, as if she was gaining the courage to be truthful. “We were eyeing you for this assignment when you first applied, even during your training. You’re tough but we weren’t sure if this would suit you, if you were the right person.” You didn’t feel tough, you felt weak and soft.

“I’m not.” You blurted out “Alex is better at this.. she’s better for this. It doesn’t affect her as much.”

“The fact that it affects you this much tells me that we were right”

“What do you mean?” You finally turned to face her

“You took down a huge defence contractor, got justice for your victim and fought off the feds, all in one week. This case was a test, and you passed with flying colours.” She stared at you, waiting to see how you’d respond to her disclosure, you felt it was another test, and one you didn’t want to participate in.

“I don’t want it” you voiced, the words quiet as they left you.

“You will” she murmured, and everything clicked into place as you reflected on her words, replaying them over in your head like a cassette tape. It wasn’t purely down to Lewin or chance even, that you’d been assigned SVU. Just as you had thought, Liz had stuck her nose in, intervened as to have final say on where you’d land.

“I knew you had something to do with it.” you scoffed, part of you was surprised but then the other part of you wasn’t. “Can’t help but meddle can you?” you shook your head as you took another sip, relishing in the burning sensation that consumed you, turning your gaze back to the floor. Leaving it trained on the harsh edges of your heels, how they scuffed against the old carpet, the fibres raising as you brushed against them.

“Only for your best interests” she hummed and brought her hand up to your shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze.

“Sure..” you let out a low laugh, not out of amusement, but out of resentment and indignation. You were acutely aware that despite her being your godmother, that she was your boss, but you were angry now, your suspicions had been confirmed. You went to speak again, an air of breath leaving you, before abruptly stopping. Biting your tongue to halt anything damaging spilling from your mouth.

“Why do I feel so sick?”

“That’s part of the job” she clicked her tongue, “The kids are always the hardest”. She quietly mulled over what to say next before another knock on your door drew both of your attentions away, and you sucked back the tears as you called out, partially grateful for the distraction.

Rita poked her head through the door, and you lightly shook your frame, trying to rid yourself of the thoughts and feelings that were swirling. Choosing instead to offer a soft smile at the sight of her, your chest expanding, and the feeling inside your stomach changing as you drank her in.

“Congratulations.” she sang as she stepped into the room, “Two Grand Jury indictments in your first week” she raised her eyebrows and smirked at you, seemingly proud. Then she took in the look on your face, the way in which your eyes were glassy and absent, and her demeanour visibly changed.

“I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning.” Liz tapped at your knee and you raised your head up slightly in her direction, nodding affirmatively. She stood to greet Rita, chaste kisses against cheeks, and small talk exchanged in greeting. She shut the door behind her as she crept out of your office, and the sound of it closing forcefully brought you back to the present, a deep breath leaving you.

“Let me take you to dinner?” she offered, her voice soft and delicate as she spoke.

“Thanks but I don’t feel much like eating” you mumbled before finishing off the remnants of your drink, chasing the last of it as you tipped the glass higher as your tongue sought out the last few droplets.

“Alright well you can watch me eat, as you drink to your heart’s content. How does that sound?” She chuckled, but you didn’t return the laughter, didn’t spar back with her, no smart remarks leaving you. She rounded the table and came to kneel in front of you, meeting your misty eyes as she brought her thumbs up to wipe away the fallen tears on your cheek.

“C’mon, let’s get you out of here” she whispered, her fingers tracing the tracks of your tears before she softly cupped the side of your cheek, soothingly rubbing patterns on the soft skin under her fingers. You shuddered under her heavy gaze and under her tender touch, you were stronger than this, and you felt frail and weak, ashamed that she had seen you in this light. You had been so adamant on not showing any ounce of vulnerability in your role, of protecting yourself, but here it was, laid out for her to witness.

“I can’t let go of what that boy went through” you vocalised, just as your defendant earlier, truths spilling from you.

“Your vulnerability in this office is a strength, not a weakness” she murmured as her eyes searched for yours once more, she tightened her grip on your face. You closed your eyes harshly once more as you yearned for the tears to stop, for everything that was hitting you to halt and rest.

“Does it get easier?” you eventually breathed out and she sighed softly as she rested her forehead against yours.

“I want to tell you it does, but I’ve never worked SVU. But I’ll tell you what I do know.. The weight of it becomes bearable, and it becomes easier to separate your personal feelings from the cases. In my experience anyway.” She whispered, and kissed your cheek before pulling back. Your face still nestled in the palms of her hands.

“Yeah?” You opened your eyes, and your vision clouded as the tears built and threatened to fall once more. You so desperately wanted to believe her.

“Yeah. Now c’mon, I’m starving.” her stomach audibly grumbled as she spoke and you both giggled in tandem at the sound. She stood up and held out her hands to pull you up, and as you raised, you looked intently at her.

“Thank you” you breathed out and she smiled solemnly at you, and you felt yourself melt and relax at the sight of her, of being in her presence.

“So how do you feel about watching me eat sushi? Or pho? Or pizza?..” she trailed on as you gathered your coat and purse. You knew what she was doing, even though you felt like you couldn’t stomach food, she could at least try to persuade you to eat something, and even if she couldn’t, eventually your appetite would return.

“You’re pretty sweet when you want to be, you know” you hummed as you leant against your desk, drinking her in.

“Tell anyone and I’ll have to kill you.” She raised her eyebrows and smirked, a coy smile on her face as she clicked her tongue, running it over her bottom lip. Your eyes dropped down as you watched it poke out, darting across the supple flesh.

“Come here” you crooked a finger in her direction, beckoning her towards you. She walked the few steps until she stood in front of you, and both of you eyed the other, eyes sweeping down to the others’ lips before you leant forward and claimed them.

Hunger and fervour simmered below the surface as you kissed. But as that simmered, an overwhelming sensation of softness took over. It wasn’t like the kisses you’d shared before, this was more gentle and tender, and your heart swelled as you embraced one another.

When you finally broke apart, your cheek rested on hers, shallow breaths escaping both of you as both of your arms enveloped around the other.

“God, I’ve wanted to do that all day.'' she breathed next to your ear, her sigh tickling at the nape of your neck and you tightened your grasp around her. “Feel better now?” she asked as her lips met your cheek, her breath hot and heavy as it met your skin. You nodded as you rest your head against her shoulder, wanting to stay wrapped up in this moment. You felt safe and sheltered, and you didn’t ever want that feeling to ever end.

-------------------

@storiesofsvu @imlike-so-gay-dude @plccarter @wannabe-fic-reader @alexusonfire @momlifebehard @annegilletteslostwh0r3 @drduckthief @giftedchildturns40 @holycrapraewth @when-wolves-howl @ladysc @itwasrealtome @fanfictionfangirl04

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gamma-rae-bursts · 7 months

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Writing Bingo Masterlist

prompts can be found here

@introverted-author

Sweater Weather ~ Jemily

Arla ~ Jemily

Gold Rush ~ Jemily

@iamnotoriginalphil

The 5 Times You Almost Kissed Alex + The 1 Time Alex Kissed You ~ Alex Blake x f!Reader

@storiesofsvu

Overtime ~ Rafael Barba x Reader

A Thin Line ~ Emily Prentiss x Reader

Not What It Looks Like ~ Poly!Barhoun x f!Reader

Whenever You’re Ready ~ Rita Calhoun x f!Reader

Plea Deals ~ Elana Barth x f!Reader

Fake It Till You Make It ~ Elizabeth Donnelly x f!Reader

@statelysapphic

Made for Me ~ Alex Blake x Reader

@virescent-v

School Yard Bully ~ Emily Prentiss x f!Reader

@drewcrew24

Cheetos ~ Jemily

@mickey-gomez

Gentle ~ Rita Calhoun x f!Reader

@gaelic-symphony

A Year in the Life: September ~ Temily

@prentiss-theorem

Courtroom Obsession ~ Olivia Benson x f!Reader

The Ex Factor ~ Melissa Schemmenti x f!Reader

Persuasion ~ Alex Blake x f!Reader

Thank you everyone for participating in my bingo! I loved all your fics so much, each time you tagged me in one of them it genuinely made my day 100 times better!

#raeswritingbingo

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thatesqcrush · 2 years

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Masterlist

@storiesofsvu

Boredom Cure (Heather Dunbar)

Lucky Number 4 (Olivia Benson)

Menace (Rita Calhoun)

Playtime (Kneef)

Bad Day Turned Good (Velasco)

A New Level of Vacations (Heather Dunbar x reader x Bryan Kneef)

Not Done With You (Velasco)

12/10 (Jackie Sharpe)

Journey to the Past, Ch. 8 (Kneef)

Hardball (Elizabeth Donnelly)

@plaidbooks

Here (Velasco)

More to Love (Velasco)

@pascalispretty

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@witches-unruly-heart

Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned (Carisi)

Movie Night (Barba)

@beccabarba

Against the Wall (Amanda Rollins)

Rain, Candlelight & Pumpkin Spice (Rafael Barba)

@aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide

Split Hand Surrender (Rolivia)

Sweetest Tongue (Rolivia)

Approximation (Goren)

Buzzer Beater (Cabenson)

@thatesqcrush

Staycation: Spooky Edition (Barba)

The Auction: Hole in One (Kneef)

#thatesqcrush kink bingo #thatesqcrushkinkbingo

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lesbianologist · 3 years

Text

A DISINTEGRATING PRAYER

gif by the wonderful @1000spices!

(a/n): i'm only slightly sorry. enjoy??? jkdsjfldks requested: “Reader is hurt and ends up in the hospital. Liz is there to comfort her and doesn't leave her side” warnings: language, hella angst, hurt/comfort, medical jargon (i’ve taken anatomy and physiology, so i have a rudimentary understanding of the basics).

acknowledgement of your career in law enforcement was one liz had to contend with, both through the relinquishing of emotional control she preferred to have in her relationships, and the safety of those around her. she had known far too many of her colleagues being harassed, stalked, assaulted, and even ushered into witness protection, so for years she had resolved for less, reluctantly settling into a reclusive pattern of solitude after work. that is, until she met you.

it was at a gala, of course, for all walks of life of the law, and you had been the one to engage her in flirtatious conversation. of course, she was taken aback by such an amorous conversation being elicited by the chief of counterterrorism for the new york city’s counterterrorism bureau. hell, you two hit it off immediately, and months later you had been swept into a whirlwind romance with the older woman. liz, confessing her love for you a mere seven and a half months into the relationship as you had found warmth and a home in her arms.

when she learned there had been a targeted attack on your bureau at the end of a hearing, she had broken into a clammy sweat when your phone rang and you didn’t pick up. she had sworn to never get involved with someone in a dangerous profession, and here she was, madly in love with you and unable to contact you. she watched the smoke rise out of the building on her phone, and while she knew that there were a million subdivisions, ranging from the threat reduction infrastructure protection section to the lower manhattan security initiative, you could be in any of them as chief.

for the first two hours, she couldn’t do a damn thing except listen to reports of injuries, where the bomb had detonated, and she wondered helplessly at how it had gone undetected. eventually, her phone had rang, and she had found out you had been transported to mercy general hospital.

“where is she?”

“who are you looking for m’am?”

“[y/n, y/l/n], i’m her partner” she could barely choke out.

the rest was a blur. a wonderful, kind woman, dr. jane larom, detailed your injuries to liz. you had unfortunately been in an adjacent room to the device, and when it detonated, the blast tore through the room, nearly collapsing in on you. bits of the shrapnel had shredded through your clavicle, and lodged themselves in your subclavian artery as well as your radial artery, both of which were in dire need of repair. you had lost an extensive amount of blood, had a collection of broken ribs from the collapsed roof and wall, and had shattered the majority of bones in the same hand that ran along where the two damaged arteries were. you’d be lucky to have any use of your left hand if the arteries survived surgery.

these injuries didn’t include the elevated intracranial pressure that had begun to form from the piece of concrete that had landed on your head during the blast, and though you had narrowly escaped a cerebral hemorrhage, you most definitely had a severe concussion. dr. larom equated your survival to your quick thinking, as you dove under a nearby table just before the roof collapsed on you. she explained the meticulous procedure that was underway as liz had arrived, asking if she needed a glass of water, and guided her to a secluded room to wait for further instruction.

six hours passed. six long, excruciating hours, whereby liz found herself fidgeting and fighting the occasional tears that threatened her eyes, rising in her eyes as she sat and waited.

eventually, you were given the all-clear. they had removed what they could, stitched you back up, and had you under heavy sedation, as well as in a temporary medically-induced coma for three days to allow your body to start to heal. as you showed significant signs of improvement, particularly with the intracranial pressure, they decided to ease you out of the coma gradually. liz stayed by your side the entire time, only going home to sleep, change clothes occasionally, and briefly eat before racing back to your side.

it was five days later before you awoke, groaning for liz, desperately clawing at the IV’s and tubes connected to you, grasping for her touch and embrace.

“i’m here, baby, i’m right here”

she moved closer to you, grasping your good hand tightly as your eyes peaked open and closed. they were bloodshot and you had dark circles beginning to form under them, though this was to be expected given the head injury you had sustained.

“it hurts so badly, liz”

“i know, sweetheart, try not to move so much”

you couldn’t help it, the pain emanated through you. your head throbbed, arm and shoulder ached, and you couldn’t feel your hand, either.

“do you want me to ask for more medication?” “yes, but ask them if i can have torodol, please”

“torodol? but sweetheart—“

“i just want to be awake, please, liz,”

sure as promised, liz sought out a nurse, and they were quick to requisition the NSAID, delivering it as swiftly as they could. once you had a hefty dose of it into your system, you asked them to elevate the hospital bed so you could take a good look at liz. she was exhausted to her core and it was indisputable on her face. she looked pale, tired, and disheveled, despite her usual inclination to appear sharp and contemporary.

“you had me so fucking worried”

you only let out a low chuckle at first, cursing under your breath when the pain radiated through your body again, the broken ribs more apparent when you laughed.

“tell me what happened”

“i honestly don’t know,” you whimpered.

you had been talking to a colleague in the CBRNE (chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear, and explosives) section of the bureau about processing a report on a new counterterrorism technology when there was a searing flash of light, utter silence, and then, completely unimaginable pain. the last thing you thought of was liz’s face.

“i almost lost you, and i—” liz couldn’t finish the thought. the emotion roared in her, bursting through every fibre of her being. of course, she had already admitted her love for you, but losing you? it had always been a passing thought given your consistent presence.

hearing the emotion in her voice at the thought triggered the emotional landslide that was coursing inside of you. a loud sob wracked through you, your chest heaving despite the pain. your blood pressure monitor started to beep erratically as your cries tore through the room and liz swept you into her arms as gently as she could. a few nurses frantically entered the room and upon realizing it was just an emotional outburst, they let her console you. liz rocked you gently, smoothing your hair, placing a few tender kisses to your forehead as you wailed in her arms, gripping her as tightly as you could with your undamaged arm.

“you’re okay, you’re safe now”

seeing her and hearing her, especially hearing her worried about brought you crashing back to reality, but having liz soothe the emotional anguish also seemed to ease the physical agony. feeling her body pressed against yours lessened the shock because you could hold her, smell her, and know she wasn’t going anywhere. she was right; you were okay, you were safe, and you were back in her arms. right where you needed to be to heal.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TAGLIST: @storiesofsvu @swimmingstudentchaos891 @nocreditinthestraightworld @vincent-millays @1000spices @wandasbrat @onebreathnottobreathe @wandas-wife @screenee @addictedtodinosaurs @oliviaswifey @svushots @enduringalexblake @cmmndrwidw

#personal #my fics #a disintegrating prayer #elizabeth donnelly #elizabeth donnelly x reader

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storiesofsvu · 7 months

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Fake it til You Make It

Elizabeth Donnelly x reader warnings: language, sass, smut mentioned? covers the 5+1 trope for @prentiss-theorem s bingo!

The Dilemma.

“Heard you took a plea on the Harrison case.” Liz’s sentence was spoken as she sauntered into your office, perching on the side of your desk as you finished scribbling something on the work in front of you.

“Hey now, I drove Buchanan up from the original offer before I accepted.”

“Good girl.” She praised with a wink and you laughed, “Kristen took the other SVU case, correct?”

“Yeah.” You let out a happy sigh, flipping the folder shut and leaning back in your chair.

“Means you’ve got time for an extended lunch then?”

“Only if you’re buying.” You grinned up at her and she scoffed, swatting at your shoulder while she stood from the desk.

“You want your fall bonus or not?” She teased and you rolled your eyes as you grabbed your blazer.

“Fine. I’ll pay. But it’s on you next time.”

“Seems fair.” Liz shot you a playful smile as you scooped up you bag and followed her out of your office.

Since transferring into SVU you’d had a great relationship with Liz, even if she had been terribly intimidating for the first couple of months. Once you’d proved that you could hold your own against the detectives, that you were a whiz in the courtroom and happened to actually play by the rules, you’d shifted into her good books. Into the books that meant she liked you, that you were someone to be watched because she knew you’d go places. She took you under her wing like she did with a lot of previous A.D.A’s, her office becoming the automatic place that you went when you needed a sounding board, when you got stuck with a case, or couldn’t remember which law journal you saw a specific note in. There were evenings she’d be on her way out of the building only to find you still working away in your office and she’d bribe you out of there with the promise of dinner and drinks, first they were at local lounges, then they upgraded to her Brownstone, where she kept the good scotch.

Nights, lunches and coffee breaks that started out shooting the shit about work, spit balling court strategies based on the defence and presiding judge with Liz as your mentor shifted into ones about office gossip, the little whisperings in the hallways that everyone thought Liz didn’t hear. Then they became a way to escape work for an hour, you learnt about her past, her personal life and she heard stories about your family, friends, days back at law school. You became friends, and you took that with a large badge of honour, Liz was someone you looked up to, someone that you very much valued her opinion of you, having her call you an actual friend was the highlight of your month. She didn’t dole out that label very willingly.

It was on your slow walk back to the office from lunch that day that you paused in your words, stalling in your step as something caught your eye in the window of a shopping mall. Liz barely caught it in time to turn back, grinning at the way you tugged your lip into your mouth as you stared at the dress.

“See something you like?”

“It’s cute…” you muttered, “but I think it’s a little too fancy.”

“Hot date?” She asked and you snorted.

“Liz please, I just spent twenty minutes complaining about Tinder.” You laughed, “my sister’s engagement party is next weekend. I think the vibes are somewhere between brunch with the girlies and garden party, this could work for the wedding though….” Your head tilted for a moment and then you threw you head back and let out a groan, “fuck I hate this.”

“Weddings?”

“More so that it’s my younger sister, my much younger sister. Who has been obsessed with her wedding since she was like, six so you know it’s gonna be a huge, all out affair, no holding back on anything or any expense. I had high hopes for that last Tinder girl so all the invites I replied with a plus one and now I’ll have to suffer through it on my own. Better get ready for a million comments about how it’s lucky I’m a spinster cause there’ll be no money left for my wedding after this.”

“Oh come on.” Liz barked out a laugh, “you know a plus one doesn’t have to be a date, right? You can bring a friend. You said next weekend? Saturday or Sunday?”

“Saturday at four.” You sighed, turning away from the store and falling back into step beside her.

“Well then I guess you’re lucky Lena and I play poker on Sundays.”

“Wait..” Your head shot up to look at her, “you’ll come with me?”

“Sure, why not.” She smiled, linking her elbow with yours, “you said no expense spared and to me that sounds like an open bar and a lot of free food, who am I to say no to that and family drama?”

“Have I told you recently that you’re my favourite boss?”

“You don’t have to.” She grinned, “I already know everything.”

The Misunderstanding.

When Saturday rolled around you and Liz were pulling up to the Equinox Hotel at exactly four forty five. Early enough you wouldn’t be scolded for being tardy yet late enough that the rooftop terrace would be swimming with people who could distract your parents now that the party was in full swing. The terrace boasted incredible views of the Hudson River along with the rest of New York, a very well stocked bar, roaming cater waiters with various trays of food and a long table of hot food.

You were able to get to the bar without being noticed, both of you quickly downing a shot of maple whiskey, thanking the bartender for your cocktails before turning to the crowd. Liz’s eyes moved through the crowd, wondering if she was going to run into anyone she knew before she spotted her.

“Incoming.” She nodded over your shoulder, “white sundress, I’m assuming your sister. What was her name again, Jennifer?”

“Jessica.” You muttered and she chuckled at the way you chugged back half your cocktail before Jess was squealing in your ear, wrapping you in half a hug.

“Hiiii! I’m so happy you came!”

“Oh come on, you’re my sister, I wouldn’t miss it.” Smiling, you pressed a kiss to her cheek, “you look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She beamed, squeezing at your hand, “love your dress, is it new?”

“Yeah, picked it up last week.”

“Cuuuute.” Grinning she then turned to the woman beside you, “who’d you bring?”

“Jess, this is Liz, Liz, Jess.” You gestured between them, watching as they shook hands and said hello.

“Pleasure.” Liz smiled.

“It’s so nice to meet you, y/n never brings anyone to holidays.” Jess giggled, “and I love those earrings, are they Mejuri?”

Liz’s head tilted, a small grin on her lips, “she know her brands and she’s got taste.” Her eyes flicked down to her wrist, “Chopard can do no wrong when it comes to their bracelets.”

“Isn’t it stunning?” She lifted her arm up, her eyes wide, “it was a gift from Colin for tonight.” She let out another giggle, her smile getting even larger if that was possible.

“There you are!” A voice called out and your head shot up to see your parents and Colin making their way over to the small group, “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.” Your mother clicked her tongue and you let your sigh take form into a smile but before you could speak, Jess was turning around with a gasp. There were so many voices jumping back and fourth as they approached you nearly missed what came out of her mouth next, taking a second for your brain to register it.

“Mom! Come meet y/n’s girlfriend!”

Your eyes flashed wide and you barely had time to glance up to Liz before Colin let out a laugh,

“Girlfriend or sugar mommy?”

“Colin!” Jess hissed, slapping him on the arm.

“Don’t be rude.” Your mother scolded.

“She’s not—” You tried to interject but your father’s hand squeezed your shoulder.

“Sweetheart, we don’t care how you live your life as long as your happy and healthy.”

“Dad!” You tried again but suddenly Liz was squeezing at your hand gently, having completely slipped into the role of fake girlfriend as she stepped closer to you, smiling at your parents.

“I assure you; your daughter is very well taken care of with no need for anything like that. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much already.”

“And to think we haven’t.” Your mother nearly frowned in your direction, “girl certainly likes to keep her secrets. Call me Paula.” She extended her hand,

“Elizabeth.”

“Daniel.” Your dad’s turn was next, firmly shaking Liz’s hand, “how long have the two of you been together?”

“Oh, a few months give or take.” She replied with a small laugh, “you know how it is, sometimes these things are hard to put a solid date on, but we’re happy, and that’s all that really matters.” Her hand slid back into yours, giving it a soft squeeze as she grinned over at you.

“Do I dare ask how you met?” Paula asked, wincing, “because if Colin was right, you can just say a dating app or something.”

“Mom!” You nearly choked on your drink, feeling the heat creeping into your cheeks.

“No, not at all.” Elizabeth laughed, “we work together. And your daughter is one of the brightest and best lawyers we have, she’s got an incredible future ahead of her.” This time you were sure your cheeks were tinged pink, hearing Liz tell you how good of a job you did on a case always made you more proud of yourself, like you were impressing your favourite teacher in school, you knew you were on the right track.

“Well after that Ivy league education I sure hope so.” Daniel commented, glancing to you, “would hate for that to go to waste. I was beginning to think you were so married to the job you’d never find anyone.”

“Wow.” You muttered and Liz chuckled.

“Well it certainly helps being in the same field. We both know how many hours you have to clock if you want to be successful. That you’re not always going to get the time for those fancy dinner dates by candlelight, sometimes its takeout surrounded by case files in a dim lit office. Isn’t that right darling?”

“Date night is date night.” You shrugged, leaning into her embrace, “doesn’t matter where it is, we’ve gotten the balance figured out perfectly.”

“I’m so glad you’ve finally found someone.” Paula beamed.

“Mom!” Jess interjected, grabbing her hand, “Auntie Carol just got here!”

“Alright, alright.” She laughed, swatting her away before turning back to Liz, “can’t wait to see you at the wedding, we’ll have so much more time to chat. It was wonderful meeting you.”

“You too.”

Quick waves and smiles were shot through the group before your sister was dragging them off elsewhere. Letting out a quiet groan you turned back to the bar, sucking back the rest of your drink.

“I am so sorry.” You muttered.

“It’s alright.” Liz chuckled, flagging down the bartender to get you a refill before her arm loosely wrapped around your waist and she leant in, her lips nearly brushing against your temple when she spoke, “parents love me. Now relax, drink,” she slid the refilled glass into your hands, “enjoy the party with your so called girlfriend.”

Your head tilted to look up at her as your eyes narrowed, replaying the last few minutes in your brain, “you’ve done this before…”

“I need entertainment in my life somehow.” She shrugged and you laughed.

“Are you serious?”

“Why not?” She smiled back at you, “sometimes someone just wants a plus one, sometimes it’s the whole fake girlfriend thing to piss off the family or get them off your case about being single. As long as they’re a friend I really don’t mind. I enjoy getting out of the house and it’s the closest I’m going to get to a date now, I’m divorced and remarried to my job. The only time I have is for a one night event to play pretend.”

“You really are good with parents.”

“That one can be a little trickier,” she commented, sucking back on her drink, “sometimes they freak out over same sex or the age gap, you’ve got supportive ones.”

“I think it’s just gotten to the point where all they care about is that I don’t get eaten by my plethora of cats when I die alone.”

“Do you even have a cat?”

“No. I don’t even like them.”

“Then they’ve got nothing to worry about.” She smirked, “you’ll just stink up your apartment for a week until your downstairs neighbour makes a complaint.”

“Wow,” you burst out a laugh, “thanks.”

“C’mon.” She pinched at your elbow, nodding toward the buffet, “let’s get some food before all the good stuff is gone.”

The One with Tequila.

Night clubs were not your thing.

They hadn’t been your thing fifteen years ago when you were much more in your partying era, so they certainly weren’t your thing now that you’d matured. You preferred nights at quiet pubs or dive bars where it was acceptable to wear leggings and an oversized hoodie, even better, you preferred nights in on your couch where you had absolutely no one to impress and you could control the volume. Squeezing yourself into a tiny dress after spending half an hour on your hair and make up just didn’t seem worth it, even if there was bottle service.

You’d been genuinely surprised when Liz said she would come with you, expecting her to tap out of the more wild nights leading up to the big event, but she was there by your side in the limo, and didn’t shy away from sliding into the booth beside you once you were at the club. The bass of the music thumped through the room, coloured lights flashing on the dance floor, there was no choice but to yell over the music while your sister dolled out tequila shots. Even sitting directly next to each other you struggled to hear the other person, causing you to lean right into Liz, your lips nearly brushing the shell of her ear when you spoke. She braced herself when she leant into you, hand softly squeezing your thigh as she spoke and she didn’t bother to remove it after, her thumb brushing against your bare skin.

She laughed along with the jokes and innuendos thrown around the table, indulged in more than a few shots with the group and even shared a few of her own stories. Some of which left you wondering if they actually happened of if she was just that good at making things up. You were disappointed when she was in full support of Jess dragging you out onto the dance floor, shooting daggers at her as you disappeared into the crowd and she was left laughing at the table. She watched with a grin as you loosened up, letting the liquor flow through your veins, dancing alongside your sister and some of her friends. If she was to be completely honest, she really liked getting to see this other side of you, to know for sure that you let your hair down once in a while and weren’t completely consumed by work.

Neither of you had any concept of how long you were out dancing, but Liz knew she had finished another drink and a half by the time the rest of the group returned to the table. You collapsed down next to her with a laugh, reaching for your drink so you could guzzle it down, trying to combat how out of breath you were. Her hand found yours on the table top, fingers interlacing with yours,

“Wasn’t so bad, was it?” She teased, pressing a feather light kiss to your heated cheek and you giggled softly.

“Okay maybe it was kinda fun.”

“See?” With a grin she slid a shot glass toward you and you laughed once more, clinking the glass with her own before you threw back the shots.

“Okay!” Jess’s arm flailed over the table top, smacking at your hand, “now that mom and dad aren’t here, can you fucking tell us the truth?”

“About what?” You asked with a laugh.

“Is she—” she glanced from Liz to you and then turned fully to Liz, “are you her sugar mommy?”

“Jess!” You shrieked, “no!”

“No.” Liz chuckled, sipping at her own drink.

“I so don’t fucking believe you.”

“Why not?!” You asked with a bark of a laugh.

“Uh… she’s older than you, she’s clearly got money and taste, she’s paying your tab tonight, there’s a vibe that she’s the dominant one.”

“Jessica!” Your eyes widened in shock, “she’s my boss! That’s where that ‘vibe’ is coming from.”

“Darling I don’t think you’re helping the matter.” Liz squeezed at your hand with a chuckle before turning to her, “I can choose to spoil my girlfriend where and whenever, tonight seemed like a good opportunity.”

“Lies.” Jess’s eyes narrowed as she stared across at the two of you, “you have way too many sugar mommy vibes.”

Liz laughed, playfully shaking her head, “believe what you want, I guess.”

Luckily for you, a new song came on that made Jess let out a shriek and completely forget about the topic at hand, racing back out onto the dance floor with her friends. Liz squeezed at your wrist, sliding another shot toward you that you thanked her for, swiftly taking it before swallowing and pulling a face.

��I’m drunk.” You stated and she laughed.

“Yes you most certainly are.”

“Sorry.” You grimaced, suddenly realizing you were more intoxicated than you’d meant to get, especially being around your boss.

“No need.” She laughed, “this is the drunkest I’ve been in ages.” She reassured you with a squeeze to your hand and your moment of worry was completely gone from your brain.

“I want pizza.”

“There’s a place around the corner, c’mon.” She tugged you from the booth, the idea of hot greasy food now the only one on her mind, “let’s get out of here before they notice.”

You were incredibly thankful fifteen minutes later when you were leaving the pizza shop with fresh slices, a bottle of water tucked away in your purse, Liz’s arm slipped through yours as the two of you laughed your way through the New York streets. Truly, both of you had a pretty good time tonight, it was something neither of you would have done voluntarily, so drastically different from how you’d spend a Saturday night and that was always a nice break from life.

“I cannot believe Jess is convinced you’re a sugar mommy.” You mumbled over a bite of pizza.

“I’m just shocked your dad was so quick to accept it, he didn’t even seem surprised. Most parents get even the inkling of that type of dynamic and they lose it, thinking there’s some kind of taking advantage going on. Or their upset because they equate it to some form of prostitution, that their kid should be working for money in a real career path.”

You slowed in your steps as your head turned up to look at Liz, your brow furrowing as you took another bite of pizza.

“What?” She asked with a laugh.

“Have… you actually done that before?” You asked and Liz smirked, the lowered inhibitions thanks to the tequila letting her reveal more than she would have on another day.

“Oh come on.” She chuckled, “Casey’s wardrobe was in desperate need of an overhaul and she was raised so strictly catholic she barely understood sexuality, much less her own. I figured why not help her out with both?”

“I knew it!!” You shrieked, fully stopping in your tracks as you turned to face her on the sidewalk, “oh I absolutely knew it! But I was so fucking confused! I thought I was going crazy cause you’d only ever mentioned your ex husband.”

“Just because I married a man once doesn’t mean I’ll do it again.” She grinned, “I didn’t think I was that secretive about it, you should have caught onto at least some hints.”

“I mean I kinda did.” You laughed, “especially when it came to Casey…”

“Oh come on, we weren’t that obvious.”

“Oh, no, of course not.” You smirked, “aside from the constant eye fucking in the courthouse halls.”

“We were not that bad!” She objected, smacking your arm with a playful frown.

“Sure.” You laughed, slipping your arm back into hers as you fell into step beside her again, “just keep telling yourself that.”

Liz walked you home that night, making sure you were safely behind locked doors and promising to drink some water before bed before she flagged down a cab. Upstairs you found yourself replaying moments from the night, interactions between the two of you, stories she’d told you that all were shone in a different light now that your speculations were confirmed true. Maybe there really was a lot you didn’t actually know about when it came to Elizabeth Donnelly.

Caught up in the Clouds.

Weddings had never been events that caught your eye. You thought they were overpriced, overhyped, heteronormative celebrations filled with too many relatives and old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years. Emotions were high, stress levels to make sure everything was perfect were through the roof and alcohol only exaggerated every single little issue.

Yet somehow you’d forgotten all of those issues as you sat in a church pew beside Liz, her fingers tangled with yours while her thumb soothed over the back of your hand. There was nothing but love and adoration flowing through the air, winding its way through the crowd of guests before wrapping the happy couple up in a perfect little bow. You had no idea that Jess and Colin were such hopeless romantics, their personally written vows bringing a misting into your eyes. And when a tear finally managed to escape the corner of your eye before you could even think about it, Liz caught it, gently wiping it away with a warm smile. You let out a breath of a laugh, your cheeks heating as you felt a little silly for tearing up at a wedding, a warmth blooming in your chest as Liz returned the small laugh, squeezing at your hand before both of you returned your gazes to the alter.

Cocktail hour got everything moving, people up out of their chairs, flitting around the room as they reconnected with friends they hadn’t seen in ages or got introduced to new ones. Liz never once left your side, her arm securely wrapped around your waist, making sure your champagne flute was never once empty and you always had her backup when trapped with relatives. She was introduced to multiple family members and friends and you swore each time she had some new, horribly romantic story about how the two of you had started dating, who asked who out, your first date, a very over the top story about a candlelit trail in Central Park, surrounded by roses the first time you exchanged I love you’s. With each anecdote (and each glass of bubbly) you could have sworn she was looking at you with more adoration than the last, and that you were returning it, happily nuzzling into her shoulder, feeling her lips press to the top of your head.

You were thankful when dinner was finally announced and you were guided to your seats, food taking focus before all attention was back on the newlyweds. The two of you had been playing into things so well, surrounded by the looming feeling of love, happiness and forever that things simply felt natural, they felt right. Everyone in the room thought you were a couple, there was no reason to not play into that. Liz’s hand gently playing with the baby hairs at the back of your neck while you listened to speeches, your hand resting on her thigh as you leant in to whisper a joke, the shared quiet laughter as your eyes sparkled.

Wrapped up in your own little bubble you even managed to get out on the dance floor, first it was bopping along to top forties, scream singing along to favourites from your younger years, indulging both the kids and the grandparents with things like the chicken dance. Then the lights dimmed, the playlist shifting to something slower and instead of stepping off the dance floor, Liz grabbed your hand, twirling you under her arm before wrapping it around your waist and pulling you close. She murmured something about it not being that easy to get away from her, that she deserved at least once dance tonight and you laughed softly,

“Never would have pegged you for the dancing type.”

“There’s plenty you don’t know about me yet” She muttered back with a grin and you playfully shook your head at her, relaxing into her embrace as you glided around the dance floor.

It was during one of those dances, held close enough to her to feel her heartbeat, where she could feel your breath on her skin when you spoke, that it felt like you were in an alternate universe. That this weird fake dating thing was actually real, that you were happily in love with the other person and looking forward to spending your future together. It was on pure instinct that you turned to kiss her cheek, only, she’d had the same instinct in the same moment, her lips landing on yours and your body tensed for the briefest second before you relaxed against her. You felt the warmth of her hand coming to cup your cheek and you let out a soft sigh into the kiss, your lips curving into a small smile as you pulled away.

Before either of you could even think about saying anything the DJ blasted an air horn, the lights flashing while they turned up brighter and he announced the bouquet toss. You got whisked away an instant later on sister duty, your task making sure the maid of honour got safely into a cab without Jess noticing, knowing she’d be pissed her MOH was belligerently drunk halfway through the night. You thought you’d be free, but then discovered Jess had spilt a few drops of red wine on her dress and they still had a handful of professional photos to get through. By the time you returned to the table where Liz was now deep in a conversation with your mother, you were carrying your shoes, the buzzed feeling from the bubbly very worn off.

“You look exhausted.” Liz greeted with a small laugh.

“I feel exhausted.” You replied.

“Well, let’s get you home.” She stood from the table, her arm winding around your waist, “I’ll call a car.”

You briefly heard something from your mother about seeing Liz again before the three of you managed to say goodnight and you finally escaped the reception. You were half asleep on Liz’s shoulder by the time the car pulled up in front of your building and she was gently nudging you awake, watching until you were safely inside before she pulled away from the curb.

Playing it Cool.

After the wedding it was as if everything had been some kind of fever dream, that the weird little bubble of your fake dating had been simply that. Your parents were ridiculously distracted by Jess and Colin, squealing over honeymoon photos, eager to hear any and all stories from their lavish vacation that you were finally left in silence and at peace. Your new so called girlfriend practically forgotten from their minds.

The first Monday at the office after the wedding you’d been a little apprehensive about how to act but both of you seamlessly slipped back into your appropriate roles and nothing else was said on the matter. You picked up cases, brought the perps to justice and did your job. Liz would pop up in your office just as often as before, commending you on your work, bribing you to take a break with lunch and you went about life just as it had been before, even if you now did know a little more about the other person. Months went by while things returned to normal, your usual bantering, late night gossip fests and the like.

“What?” She asked you one day, watching the way you were stabbing at your plate of pasta and you let out a huff, leaning back in your seat.

“I know I said you were free of this whole fake dating thing after the wedding but apparently Jess is the honeymoon baby type.” You risked a glance up to her, “I figured I had until Christmas and could bullshit my way around an amicable break up by then but she’s nearly seven months next week and is insisting that you come with me to the baby shower.”

“Is this one of those absolutely ridiculous garden parties covered in half pink and half blue decorations until they pop a balloon and everyone screams and cries over the reveal?” She deadpanned and you laughed.

“No. They’re not finding out the gender, this is just your run of the mill mocktails for her, cocktails for everyone else, finger foods and sandwiches and gifts while everyone weirdly demands to touch her belly.”

“Yeah, I was never one for things like that either.” She took a sip of her wine and you nearly frowned, “but I’d hate for you to have to suffer through it alone, so of course I’ll come.”

“You are a literal life saver.”

“I know.” She grinned across at you, causing you to playfully roll your eyes before she flagged down a server to settle the bill.

Four days later the two of you found yourselves in your parents back yard, a gift bag with a handful of onesies, a cute card and a wad of cash being passed off to Jess and Colin. Liz’s hand slipped into yours with ease as she chatted with your family, accepting a drink from your mother before pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. You were able to avoid some of the silly games Jess had planned, escaping off to a small table in the corner with your mother as she watched your father play photographer for the day.

“Oh sweetheart I can’t wait to see you all excited when it’s your turn for this.” Paula smiled and you practically choked on your drink, barking out a laugh.

“Mom, please. Kids are on my absolute do not want list.”

“You say that now.” She chided, “I mean have you even asked Elizabeth about it?”

“Oh I do think I’m rather passed that point.” Liz replied with a chuckle, “and even if I wasn’t, I agree with her. Kids aren’t something I see in my future, I’ve got enough of a maternal role at work, wrangling all those baby prosecutors, I don’t need to come home at the end of the day to keep doing the same thing.”

“Yeah.” You sighed, swigging at your drink, “and they’re messy, and loud… and always sticky and covered in snot. Why would I want that anywhere near me? I’d much rather be able to travel, be the rich mysterious fun Aunt. Like, do I want to have to shell out millions for a chance at a good preschool, or do I want to be able to buy a yacht?” Liz laughed, squeezing at your hand.

“You’ve been hanging out with Calhoun too much.” She teased and you swatted at her arm, shaking your head.

“Well if there aren’t any grandbabies coming my way, can I at least expect a wedding?”

“Mom…” you groaned, earning a chuckle from Liz, who picked up your left hand in hers.

“You know, I have been telling her that it looks a little bland without a diamond.” She kissed the back of your hand and your mother practically burst with glee, “we should take you to get your nails done next week.”

“Liz…” You warned with a glare and she laughed softly, her gaze drifting over to the rest of the party as your mother let out a happy sigh.

It wasn’t until you were getting into the car at the end of the afternoon that it finally came up again.

“I can’t believe you.” You laughed, “here I am, trying to figure out how to fake a break up by Christmas and you go bragging to my mom about rings!”

“What can I say, I get bored, I like to meddle.”

“Clearly.” You shoved at her shoulder, “fucking shit disturber. They’re gonna be expecting a wedding next year now.”

“Oh they’ll be distracted by that thought for all of two months until that baby’s born and then the crotch goblin will be the only thing they think of for another three years, you’re fine.” She waved you off and your eyes narrowed in her direction, glaring at her.

“You owe me a new set of nails.”

The Italicized ‘Oh’.

Exhausted was an understatement.

After working your ass off to try and get justice for a victim who could no longer speak up for themselves you’d been torn apart, chewed up and spat out in the courtroom. You were left embarrassed, mad at yourself and the system and incredibly disappointed, all you wanted was to curl up into a ball and disappear. The only saving grace right now was that it happened to be Friday, so at least that was possible for a couple of days, hopefully everyone would forget by the time Monday rolled around.

You’d been home long enough to wipe off your make up, tug your hair up off your neck and change into sweats, flicking the tv on for some background noise while you wandered into the kitchen to see what you had in the liquor cabinet when there was a knock on the door. Your shoulders drooped as you let out a huff, padding over to the door, not totally surprised when you discovered Liz on the other side.

“Hey.” You greeted with a sigh, stepping back from the door so she could step into your apartment, following you back into the kitchen.

“It’s not like you to take off early.” She commented.

“Hmm?” You barely glanced over your shoulder, attention refocussed on deciding between wine or whiskey.

“Swung by your office, thought I’d find you there. I wanted to chat.”

“Liz, please, spare me the lecture.” You grumbled, opting for the whiskey, grabbing a glass from the cupboard.

“You had a rough go; I wasn’t going to.” She chuckled, “it’s not about work.”

“Okay.” You poured out a glass of liquor, gesturing to see if she wanted one as well before pouring out a second when she nodded slightly. “What then?”

“Well,” Liz huffed softly, feeling her heart thump in her chest, “for the better part of a year we’ve been pretending to date and I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

“Great.” You let out a sad laugh, “a terrible week, garbage day, I lose a case and now my fake girlfriend’s dumping me. You really know how to kick a girl when she’s down.” You took a swig of your drink, doing your best to keep your emotions at bay.

“Sweetheart…” She plucked the drink from your hand, “you’re not hearing me.” The glass came to rest on the counter before her finger curled under your chin, frowning at the misting in your eyes. “The part I don’t want to do anymore is the fake part.”

“What?” Your breath caught in your throat as your brow furrowed, still not totally understanding where she was going with this.

“I didn’t really realize how much I was enjoying it until there were no more excuses to get to hold your hand, somewhere along the way of pretending to be in love with you I actually started to fall.” Her thumb gently stroked across your cheek and you instinctively leant into the touch, “I went by your office to ask if I could take you to dinner, on an actual date this time. When you weren’t there I realized you were probably sulking and I didn’t like the idea of you having to do that on your own, so…” She gestured to the counter behind her and that was when you finally realized she hadn’t shown up empty handed. A take out bag with a bottle of nice wine sticking out the top sat beside a bouquet of lilies.

“Liz…” Your eyes moved between the counter and her, shaking your head in near disbelief, “I…”

“If we’re not on the same page, I’ll go.” She shrugged, “leave you to wallow in peace. I just couldn’t stay silent any longer.”

“No!” You gasped, grabbing her arm, “I… god.” You laughed, “I’ve been thinking of, and trying not to keep thinking about that fucking kiss since the wedding. I’ve been waiting for my sister to send out some stupid invitation to another ridiculous and annoying event that I’d be forced into to have some sort of excuse to play pretend again.”

“Well…” smiling she took your hands in hers, squeezing softly, “then how about we don’t pretend any longer?

“I think I’d really like that.” You murmured back, closing the gap between you as one of her hands cupped your cheek before her lips met yours in a tender kiss. You couldn’t help the grin your lips curved up into, warmth blooming through your chest at the feeling her smiling against your lips.

Breaking the kiss she smiled softly at you, her thumb stroking at your cheek before she left a feather light kiss on the tip of your nose, “now, I know you had a bad day but you need something beyond liquor for dinner. How do you feel about Thai?”

“Sounds perfect.”

Liz wrapped an arm around your waist, picking up the take out bag while you grabbed the glasses off the counter and the two of you made your way into the living room to settle on the couch. It was there that you finally let your guard down, all the walls you’d kept up to maintain the professional relationship being torn down piece by piece as you relaxed into each other. Your mood lifted as Liz recounted stupid stories to make you laugh, watching you with an adoring smile as you began to come out of your pit of disappointment, only interrupting to steal kisses or brush a piece of mussed up hair off your face.

By the end of the evening, limbs were tangled together, a blanket half tossed over the both of you while a movie played on the television. Liz’s fingers gently combed through your hair and you let out a happy hum, grabbing her free hand to leave a kiss on the back of it. You couldn’t help but smile, feeling a little bit silly at the entire thing, sometimes what you needed the most really was what was sitting right in front of you the entire time.

___________________

@svulife-rl l @anya-casablanca @mickey-gomez @naturalxselection @yesterdaysgone @momlifebehard @alexusonfire @alexxavicry @rainbowelshrhian @daddy-heather-dunbar @evilregal2002 @alcabots @ladysc @dextur @disneyfan624 @kdaghay @svushots @onmykneesformarvel @kalixxh @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @louderfortheback @swimmingstudentchaos891 @baubeautyandthegeek

#elizabeth donnelly #elizabeth donnelly x reader #raeswritingbingo #law and order svu #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit

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cissyenthusiast010155 · 1 month

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Bite Me, Choke Me ~Dom!Elizabeth Donnelly xFem Sub!Reader

Summary— A little smutty blurb with Elizabeth and Reader. A heated making out session in Liz’s lap leads Reader to tests the boundaries a bit… How does Liz take to Reader biting her lip…?

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!, implied smut, making out, chocking, kissing, biting, teasing, taunting, talk of use of belt, ma’am kink, implied future smut, etc.

Enjoy (;

Much to your delight, tonight you found yourself in Elizabeth’s lap lazily making out with her. Her hands wandered along your frame, scraping her nails lightly along your exposed skin and making you shiver. Your hands wrapped around the older blonde, koala-ing yourself to her frame. Her tongue was deep inside you mouth, exploring and making you mewl in pleasurable delight.

You hips began bucking into her lap as you got more and more needy. Liz couldn’t help but chuckle and comment on your neediness, before going back to eating your mouth. Her hold on you only tightened the more you ground, until you couldn’t move at all. You whined in response and gingerly but the older woman’s lower lip.

Before you knew it, one of Liz’s hands was on your throat and squeezing tight in response to your bratty bite. Your eyes popped a little wider and you hasped for air, bucking your hips into her frame. She pulled away and looked at you.

“Did you just bite my lip…?” Liz purred warily.

You gulped and nodded slowly. Liz smirked in response and tightened her grip on your throat, making you wheeze for air and grind down in her lap even more frantically.

“You like that…?”

You nodded vigorously.

“Mmmmm mhmm!!” You choked out, eyes wide and dark, “aghg yes ma’am p-please—!”

Finally, she let your throat go. You sucked in a sharp gasp, air filling your lungs fully once more, leaving you panting in the woman’s lap. Liz then pulled you forward to straddle her thigh and guided your hips to start grinding down on her tensed leg. You yelped and scurried to hold the older blonde’s shoulders for support, eagerly grinding down on her thigh. Liz then leaned in close, right next to the shell of your ear.

“The next time you pull something like that, it’ll be a belt instead of my hand…” Elizabeth cooed.

Jolts of pleasure shook your core from her words, and you weren’t quite sure if Liz was encouraging or discouraging you from trying that again…

~~~

Elizabeth Donnelly Masterlist

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lizdonnelly · 29 days

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bodyache

Pairing: Elizabeth Donnelly x f!reader

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, smut, a dash of mommy kink for good measure

Summary:

You said, you said "Turn the lights down, I wanna be alone" I read your head away I couldn't stand how it pleaded, I needed to take Take a break, take me down, take me down there I wanna stare at the tears, how they watered your years

Based on a request for f!reader reassuring a vulnerable Liz.

---

"Santa leave her in your stocking as an early Christmas present? Wouldn't necessarily say you qualify for the nice list, Elizabeth," Arthur Branch chuckled, motioning towards you with his glass.

You felt Liz's grasp tighten on your hand. From the corner of your eye, you could see her head tilt in the tell tale manner it did whenever she was preparing to unleash a verbal ass beating.

"Pleasure to meet you too, Counselman. Heard you're quite the saint, yourself," you piped up with a facetious smile. "Curious how your daughter is staying back in Georgia with her mother again this year. Can't imagine why. Airfare must be too expensive these days."

Lena Petrovsky snickered.

Figured. Corporate types loved when an outsider said what they all couldn't. You were thankful for the bits of gossip Liz fed you over your coffee dates, as it was easy to weaponize them in times like this.

Next to her, a taller woman shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She adjusted her narrow black frames and studied Liz, as if judging whether or not it was safe for her to laugh as well. Out of all the suits stuffed into the swanky bar that evening, she somehow looked the most out of place, ducking out of the way awkwardly whenever a waiter slid by.

"What's it you do again, Miss? Are you one of the ladies that takes my blood when they wheel you into the ER?" Arthur jabbed. "I thought you had to be at least 16 to get a job around here. Mercy General must've fallen on hard times."

Ah, the good ol' age joke and a sexist joke to boot. What a BOGO. You knew his back was against the wall now.

"Really now, Arthur," Lena said, rolling her eyes.

"No, he has a point. I often confuse phlebotomists and trauma surgeons," you said lightly. "I'm sure it was an honest mistake."

---

Later in the evening, you found yourself sat in a booth across from the leggy blonde.

Snowflakes were beginning to fall outside, flurries catching in the light of the streetlamps. The music in the bar had quieted down, replaced by the sounds of the Manhattan DA's office trading stories and looking for any opportunity to climb the corporate ladder.

Your attention, however, was caught by Liz. Typically bold and brash, she seemed to hang on the periphery of the crowd tonight, sandwiched next to Lena. She said very little.

"Don't beat yourself up, you should be proud of the way you handled Branch."

You turned to face the woman, whom you learned was named Alex.

"How do you do it?"

"What, deal with him? Lots of Ibuprofen. He's that way with everyone."

"No," you paused, gesturing to the crowd with a loose straw you picked up off the table. "All of this. This whole ecosystem. It'd drive me nuts."

"The type of people who get to this level fought to get here, fought for nights like this. It's why we put up with law school, all those pro bono service hours..." she trailed off. Alex picked at her salad. "Liz isn't any different."

"She can turn it off, though."

Alex's brow furrowed.

"What?"

"Sorry, I'm only used to the Liz Donnelly who breaks down the door to my office whenever she catches wind that my position on a case differs from hers."

You grinned, thinking about how her short, blonde locks bounced whenever she was marching around the brownstone in a tizzy over something that happened at work earlier in the day. It occurred to you that the cause of those occasional outbursts must've been the woman sat across from you.

"I'm glad she's found someone," Alex said softly. "For all the shit she gives me, I've heard she's had it rough in this business."

"What lawyer doesn't, besides the ones that scoot by on family ties?"

Alex bit at her bottom lip.

"I assume the past 30 or so years haven't been the kindest to women, let alone those that... go against the grain."

---

"Yo, you catch the babe in the dress over there? Heard she's the one 'doin' a Donnelly' now," the paralegal snorted. He adjusted his quarter zip with a swell of pride as the other young men around him laughed.

Something in the pit of Liz's stomach turned at the phrase that still circulated around the halls of the DA's office.

She feigned interest in whatever Lena was rattling on about next to her. Gardening, her English bulldog Petunia, the new developmental milestone her grandson had hit a startlingly early age. Take your pick. None of it mattered.

"What's a chick like that doing with Donnelly? There's gotta be a good 20 year difference between them, at least," another one chided. "In it for the cash?"

"God, you couldn't pay me to deal with all that feminist, liberal bullshit."

"I think you're safe, man. Everyone knows that cougar's not coming after you," the other snickered.

Liz snapped her head around. Lena paused.

"Elizabeth?"

"Have a good night, Lena. I have to go make a call."

Liz slipped through the crowd towards you, leaving the judge confused, but altogether indifferent.

---

The ride back to the brownstone was unusually silent.

Typically, the drive back from one of her work events consisted of Liz recounting how "that motherfucker was saying an awful lot for a man who cheats on his wife with his clerk", or how "that public defender at the bar is the one I told you about who keeps getting hit by her repeat offenders". They were boisterous little getaways from reality that you loved sharing with her, thankful for a glimpse into what her world really held.

Not so much this time.

Liz's arm was limp around your shoulder, and as you studied her face, you noticed her wide brown eyes preoccupied with watching the moon from outside the town car.

It hung high above the city, fat and pale.

Snow crunched underneath the tires.

You squeezed her hand.

She gave you a half-smile, a million miles away.

---

Once inside, Liz flicked the lock on the door, took off her coat, and retreated into the depths of the hallway that led to her home office.

Your eyebrows rose.

Although there hadn't been any fighting you'd witnessed break out at the bar, something must've transpired. It was unlike Liz not to be pressing you into the wall, eager to shuck your dress off as soon as you both made it back. Stranger still, the attorney was rarely one of few words.

Badgering her to open up didn't strike you as a method that'd be successful. Years of learning how to maneuver through conversations with resistant patients throughout medical school and, more recently, residency had taught you better. Elizabeth Donnelly would be yet another test to your bedside manner, you thought as you padded up the stairs.

So be it.

When you reached Liz's bedroom, you headed straight for the bathroom, collecting some of the tea candles you'd brought over a few weeks earlier. Soon, they littered the surfaces of the end tables on either side of the prosecutor's bed and along the ledge next to the tub. After lighting each of them, you rifled through the drawer she had started letting you keep your clothes in.

You searched with the aid of the wavering flames of the tea lights until you felt terrycloth slide through your fingers. Your bathrobe. Liz would have a black silk one somewhere in her closet, which proved easier to find in the dim light than you thought it would.

Off came your dress. You missed the feeling of Liz pressing up against your back, her breath heavy against the back of your neck as you heard your zipper come undone. As you discarded your bra on the floor along with your panties, you felt yourself ache for the way she'd slide her hands around your back to cup and massage your breasts.

You steeled yourself.

No matter how much you missed her touch, you wouldn't be feeling it until Liz crossed whatever bridge she was stuck on.

You folded her robe neatly at the end of the bed, and headed into the bathroom to draw a bath.

---

Liz sat in front of her computer, scrolling aimlessly through a redlined document that wouldn't matter until the following week. Her eyes scanned the paragraphs, watching the words slide off the screen.

Anything to keep her mind off the feeling in the pit of her stomach would be a welcomed distraction, even if it meant numbing herself to her surroundings.

The ghosts of the voices from the douchebags at the bar whispered at the edges of her consciousness. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Fuck.

"Honey?"

Liz opened her eyes. The words on the screen blurred together into a tangle of symbols.

You reached over, thumb swiping at the power button on the monitor.

Liz felt her office chair spin.

She looked up at you, mascara and eyeliner smudged. Her eyes were bloodshot.

"Come on," you said softly, gently taking hold of her hands. "Let's get you upstairs."

"I'm not in the mood tonight, sweetheart, I'm sorry..." she trailed off. Her voice was hollow. Worry grew in the back of your mind when you noticed she couldn't hold your gaze.

"I know. I'm not expecting anything. I think you need to wash up. It's getting pretty late," you said slowly.

Liz withdrew a hand to wipe at her eye, nodding.

---

You led her upstairs, grounding yourself mentally once more when she was quiet at the sight of the candles.

Wordlessly, you handed her the silk robe, and began easing her arms out of her blazer. You could tell she was confused, but she didn't resist.

"Thank you," Liz muttered.

You pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. She shuddered.

Confidence growing, you pressed your palms against her shoulders, and walked her into the bathroom where the tub waited.

"You're an angel, really," she sighed. "I don't know why you put up with someone like me."

That was it.

"Someone like you?" you played along, watching closely as she slid into the warm water with you. You moved to sit behind her. Had she been herself, you knew she'd fight you on that, but here and now she allowed you to wrap yourself around her back and pull her into your arms as you shifted up against the wall of the tub.

She sniffled.

You ran a warm, wet hand through her hair. Liz leaned into your touch.

"Someone my age."

"When has that ever been something I said I didn't care for?" you asked without any edge to your voice. You pressed your thumbs into the muscles that lined her shoulder blades now, massaging at the tension you felt rippling under her skin.

"Doesn't mean you couldn't be thinking it."

You laid your forehead against the back of her head.

"Liz, you're better with words than I am. I know there's nothing I can say to prove to you that I really don't care about that."

She hummed as you rolled your hands over her shoulders.

"Well, your tactfulness is proving exactly why they all loved you tonight."

"You know how honored it makes me feel that Arthur Branch likes me, my entire night hinged on winning him over," you teased.

Liz's body trembled slightly in your arms as she laughed at this.

"He's a jackass, Liz. I don't care if he or the judge thinks I'm too young."

"I know," she said, her voice quieting again. "It's just that...seeing you light up the room does make me wonder."

Instead of responding, you leaned down to press a kiss to either of her shoulders, allowing her space to finally speak her thoughts.

"There was a group of boys eyeing you up while I was talking to Lena."

"A group of twentysomething year-old Vineyard Vines proto-lawyers, wow. Just about the only thing more enticing than talking to Branch," you snorted. You could tell Liz smiled to herself at that.

"We have those types at the hospital. It's funny, there's a lot of crossover between your world and mine. Well, in terms of the undesirables."

"That why you're not with some other hotshot young doctor?"

She stiffened. You planted featherlight kisses across her jaw.

"I like my food well-seasoned, so to speak. And female, at that."

"You like your food 'female'?" Liz snickered. She still kept her eyes shut. You could tell that although a few bricks had been removed, the wall she built around herself still remained.

"Hey, I told you you're the one who's good with words here," you giggled. "But I know a better way to show you what I mean."

---

You led Liz, legs hot and leaden with exhaustion, to the bed.

Knowing that she wouldn't cooperate with being pushed onto her back, even in the state she was in, you patted the edge of the bed.

She acquiesed.

You leaned down, cupping her cheek. Her lips met yours hesitantly. You pressed deeper, teeth tugging at her bottom lip before you dropped to your knees.

Liz's breathing grew heavier. You trailed kisses down her chest, stopping to pop one of her nipples into your mouth. She moaned at this. Soon, her fingers wound their way into your hair. You move to suckle at the other nipple, watching as she pivoted to help ease it into your mouth.

"Mmmph..." you groaned, mouth full of her.

She kissed at your forehead.

With a wet pop, you released her nipple from your mouth, trails of saliva dribbling down her chest and your chin as you continued your way down, peppering her body with open-mouthed smooches. Feeling her shudder and groan caused the ache that throbbed between your legs to grow.

"Goddamn," Liz swore from up above you as you began lapping at the wetness you were glad to find between her legs like a kitten before a warm bowl of milk. You moved to let her drench your face, never able to get as close as you wanted to be to her. Your nose rubbed at her clit, which in turn led her to tighten her grip on the back of her head.

You looked up between her folds to find her staring down at you fondly behind heavily lidded eyes.

Getting closer.

Not looking away, you moved to wrap your lips around her clit, tongue stroking along the length of it.

"That's it, sweetheart," she panted now.

You tongued and sucked at her eagerly, pressing into the hips she began to roll against your face, until you felt her body freeze as her orgasm rippled over her. You moaned, moving to lap up as much of her as you could.

Rising to your feet, you wiped at your mouth with the back of your hand and smiled.

"Well-seasoned, told you," you teased, chest rising and falling.

Something shifted in her gaze, and the attorney tilted her head towards the bed.

"Lay back."

You listened.

Soon, you fixed your eyes to the ceiling, head comfortable on the pillow you knew she preferred sleeping on. The waning flames from the candles danced along the walls, the smell of sandalwood and lavender from the tub still heavy in the air.

She nudged between your legs, moving to climb atop you.

A wave of anxiety floated across your mind, almost as if you were making love for the first time all over again. It was something in the way she regarded you. Tenderly, hesitantly. So unlike what people knew her to be.

You steadied your breathing as she leaned down to kiss you. Surprisingly, her tongue slid readily into your mouth. You felt her begin to stroke at your nipples. You reached up, pulling her head closer to you to deepen the kiss, your thirst for her mouth all over yours something she hadn't quenched.

She pulled back, smiling at your sounds of protest.

"Greedy," Liz teased.

"I can't help it," you groaned from beneath her. "I want more of you. All of you."

One of her fingers busied itself between your folds now.

"All of me?" she countered. "You don't want some young gun bedding you?"

At this, she slid it inside of you, slowly beginning to pump. For as much as you were trying, you felt your grasp on what remained of your patience slip.

"Lizzie, come on..."

"And what?"

You groaned, feet running up and down the sheets. Her movements were maddeningly slow, never quite full enough, deep enough. She knew this.

"Fuck me. Hard. Claim me like I know you want to," you panted.

Liz shifted.

You gasped as you felt her lift your legs up onto her shoulders. It was nothing, though, like the way your brain spiraled like the suds around the drain when you felt her run the tip of her strap along the edge of your hole.

Liz leaned forward, pinning her hands to your wrists and pressing them into the mattress. She bucked her hips forward, and a moan escaped your lips as she filled you.

The attorney thrust in and out of you with a ferocity you hadn't felt from her yet, let alone from anyone, despite how hot-blooded she had been with you in the past. Not allowing either of you a chance to catch your breath, hers came in hot, ragged puffs over your face. You couldn't break away from her gaze, which poured over you with an intensity edged with a certain sense of resolve.

She needed this. Needed to know you were hers to hold, hers to bed.

With each stroke, she nailed at that spot inside you that melted your brain, deep and heavy. There'd surely be bruises in the morning, but you weren't able to think that far ahead anymore.

"I'm the only one..." she huffed, "the only one who gets to do this to you."

Your heart thumped between your ribs, threatening to snap them apart and claw its way out of your open chest.

"Say it."

You could barely hear her above you.

"Say it for me, darling," Liz repeated, appearing to be riding close to her own orgasm as well, no doubt from the way the base of her strap was rubbing against her.

You squeezed your eyes shut. Blood thumped in your ears.

"Fuck...please, mommy...please...Iet me cum..."

Your heart dropped as you felt her studder in her motions. Eyes snapping open, you realized those words you whined weren't kept within the confines of your own head.

"Oh god, Liz, I'm so sorry, I-"

Something behind Liz's eyes darkened.

She covered your body with hers, tongue cutting you off as she roughly bucked once, twice, three more times to send you both careening into the waves of pleasure that erupted across each of you. She bit at your lip hard, drawing blood. You groaned. Hands groped across sweaty expanses of flesh, unable to grasp enough.

When you finally parted, the fog had cleared.

The prosecutor's shoulders were set firmly. Though her chest still rose and fell, the look in her eyes was wholly her again, albeit with a certain eagerness blooming within their depths.

"Don't apologize for that. Ever."

A weary grin spread across your face.

Relief, sweet relief.

Your heart bounded happily. She picked up one of your hands, kissing each knuckle.

"Satisfied?" you asked, shifting to slide beneath the sheets.

She patted your thigh.

"More than you know."

#elizabeth donnelly x reader #elizabeth donnelly #liz donnelly #liz donnelly x reader

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