Tumgik
#apparently kevin thought it was hilarious
scintillyyy · 7 months
Text
a n y w a y s currently 12 episodes into season 2 of the firefighter show so just some thoughts
you know, i stand corrected. i am liking what they're doing with shannon. so far. she's not demonized at all!! and the christmas thing got me, i'll admit it. i'm a sucker for that stuff.
wish the episode awful people hadn't gone for the whole dispatcher story and instead focused more on the actual awful people that make the job kind of miserable, like the drunk person who calls for help and then spits on you. (ik ik they did the evil racist guy but like they could have done more)
i did enjoy hen's origin although i think it was a ~little on the nose as far as racism and sexism within the job. like. trust me that job is rife with sexism but it's usually not quite so in your face. every single person would be written up several times over and most of these dudes do care about their job enough to not jeopardize it. also, evil caricature old captain was hilariously lowballing the 82k to train a ~woman~. bro salary + benefits + training has easily got to be double that at least. it costs a lot to hire and train someone new. for context, when my husband's department was short staffed it was short for a few years because the city was more than content with paying hundreds of thousands of dollars in overtime every year because it was cheaper than hiring new guys and paying salay + benefits + pension.
speaking of salary, benefits, and pension go to https://transparentcalifornia.com/ go to cities go to los angeles go to the year of your choosing type in and search within those records for firefighter. enjoy.
i do think the show continues its complete misconstruing of how the fire service chain of command works here with evil former captain (although i will admit, an old asshole with a terrible mustache and terrible opinions is realistic, so i'll allow it), once again the show seems to think a captain is the be all end all of decision making who apparently answers to no one. you see, unless the lafd does things extremely weirdly, there's a thing called staffing and numbers. you are assigned to specific trucks/engines/ambulances by the city. hell. by the fire chief in some departments. hell i'm pretty sure the fire chief of my husband's department called him once because they were trying to move around paramedics to ask if he had an opinion about being moved to a certain ambo they needed staffed (his opinion would be noted, but disregarded if necessary). if a captain left someone behind for no reason?? if you're assigned to a truck/engine/ambo you're going out with that truck/engine/ambo no exceptions. it's not like they show up for work and maybe they get taken out. if engine 7 is dispatched the people assigned to engine 7 are dispatched. it's not just 'hey, whoever's free, let's go'. like bro. chimney. talk to hr. i know you're a probie and the union can't help at this point but your captain also has people he reports to. the battalion chief would be very interested in this and everyone would probably think that evil captain getting his comeuppance would be hilarious as hell. there's no way that everyone who works under that captain isn't constantly shitting on what a dumbass he is and how he needs to retire.
speaking of chim's intro, i did like the episode but once again absolutely ridiculous about the whole they don't let him go out. also ridiculous the idea that they don't want to get to know him until they're sure he won't die?? lol wtf. like okay. firefighting is a dangerous job. but they have not done a lot of work improving it's safety over the years especially wrt fire management for these dudes to act like there's an epidemic of dying on the job. the US fire administration is crying. and obviously ik ik it worked with the whole kevin died on the job thing but it's still a little ridiculous.
anyways yea. actually. really the main issue with hen's, chimney's, and tbh even eddie's introductions is that not a single one of them brought donuts with them on their first day. that's how you make enemies of your coworkers from the get-go. they'll remember that.
if you're at all curious about firefighter fatalities, feel free to peruse https://apps.usfa.fema.gov/firefighter-fatalities/
lots of heart attacks.
also speaking of chim's intro episode, i must applaud it because it made me realize that the showrunners have no idea what the vehicle exhaust extraction system is aka what those yellow hoses are there for.
so the past few episodes i had noticed that the yellow hoses were just hanging there and i'm like. huh. why aren't those connected to the engines if the engine's in the bay, they connect those as they're driving the engine in. they should be. maybe it's just a one off.
but then. but then!! they showed a scene in chim's episode that had a firefighter holding the hose as if he just took it off so the engine could drive away and i'm like !!!! that is sooo hilariously wrong. because you see, that's an exhaust hose. and fire stations have those because the engines and trucks and whatnot run on diesel...and diesal exhaust is an occupational carcinogen and the fumes are very not good for you--especially if they're being emitted inside. so to avoid carbon monoxide in the bay what they do is vent the fumes out while the engine is running in the bay. the hose is connected to the exhaust pipe by a magnet and the hose vents outside and runs along an overhead track. when the engine is started in the bay the exhaust is safely vented outside and the hose is able to move with the engine until the engine leaves the station and you attach it back on when you enter the station.
youtube
i'm never going to not notice this. i'm going to be watching those things like a hawk now.
11 notes · View notes
lokigodofaces · 1 year
Text
Okay, I'm going to talk about Rocket's prosthetic obsession thanks to the new comments from James Gunn. I have yet to see the Holiday Special (tonight hopefully!), but I think I have enough context to know what is happening.
I have always found Rocket's obsession funny in a way, but over the years with the way Gunn has spoken on the subject, it seems that him and I find it funny for two different reasons.
I now believe that the intended meaning behind the joke was "haha racoon is stealing prosthetics, now amputee doesn't have their prosthetic, haha." A very ableist type of humor. And I'm kind of surprised I didn't see it earlier. I don't know, it just never crossed my mind, and as y'all could probably guess that Guardians of the Galaxy isn't a part of the MCU I spend a ton of time thinking about. The prosthetics thing is something I forget about until I rewatch them again. But now after putting literally any thought into this, yeah, I'm pretty sure this was the goal. Which is unfortunate because I've always interpreted it in another way which is funnier and actually has to do with Rocket as a character.
Rocket's prosthetic obsession has always been funny to me in a "this guy has issues" sort of way. But isn't that the basis behind a lot of the humor in the Guardians movies? Rocket stole anulax batteries for the heck of it, Drax thinks he's invisible if he stands still or eats nuts slowly, Yondu joked about eating Peter when he was a kid, baby Groot apparently chewed someone's toe off, Peter tried to explain sex while smiling like a 12 year old to the head of an extremely elitist and eugenicist planet, Mantis is convinced Kevin Bacon is an Avenger, Nebula got a whole ship to try to kill Gamora and proceeded to crash it instantly, and Gamora picked up the guns from said ship two seconds later and shot at Nebula with that. Random examples. I could go on and on. These people have problems. And it's because of trauma. All of them have wildly different backgrounds, but all of them went through something traumatic. And trauma doesn't just produce soft spoken people who apologize if you run into them. Traumatized people can be all sorts of problematic.
I think one of the beauties behind the Guardians franchise is that all of them are a little unhinged, unfriendly, defensive, etc. But they all get along after a while. And it is hard. Some people criticized the second volume, saying that they just completely re-did the character development from the first. No. The Guardians are a wacky found family and family doesn't always get along, especially if the found family is as wild as the Guardians. They fight and struggle to get along but they all truly love each other. I think it's beautiful.
An obsession with prosthetics is unhinged and frankly unacceptable in real life circumstances. Really, I think most of us would not get along with the Guardians if we met them. If it weren't for comedy being its main genre, I think we'd get lots of discourse about all of the Guardians being terrible people versus meow meows, but a lot of the despicableness of their actions goes over people's heads because of the comedy. But, darn it, Rocket's obsession fits in so well with the craziness of these movies. And it helps that those jokes were delivered well!
The very first one was the leg in the first movie. It's one of the things Rocket lists when he is telling the others how they'll escape the prison. When I was watching it, I assumed he needed a certain mechanical part that can be found in prosthetics because his plan was very technological. You have the action scenes of them fighting the guards, then it cuts to a scene of Peter sitting down with the amputee, asking how much he wants for the prosthetic. The contrast adds to the humor. Then Peter gives Rocket the prosthetic and Rocket laughs, explaining how he finds it hilarious to steal people's prosthetics. And Peter is reacting like the audience, shouting at Rocket because this guy has problems! Because the joke should be that they're all ridiculous, not that some guy doesn't have a prosthetic now!
It's disappointing to find that so many people are being ableist with this when this works with Rocket's character (okay, he's the one that's easiest for me to list random ridiculous things. He has some wild issues). And, yes, this means that Rocket is ableist. Like I said, if it weren't for the genre there'd be lots of discourse on these people. My thoughts are that he's definitely improved as a person (now he's giving his stolen prosthetics to people that need them, like Thor), fiction isn't reality, trauma doesn't excuse being a jerk but I can see how he's the way he is, if you have problems with this don't be a jerk. Whatever. I don't care enough. But it seems like people, Gunn included, are leaning away from my interpretation and towards just plain ableism.
Anyway, my explanation for how Nebula got Bucky's arm is that she showed up at Sam's house (Bucky is celebrating Christmas with the Wilsons) and asked Bucky if there was a [insert animal that is not a racoon] that asked about his prosthetic during any of the fights against Thanos. He said yes, she said he wanted to give him a fake Christmas gift because of this ridiculous obsession. Bucky said he was in, and they made a paper mache arm or something like that, don't tell Rocket.
39 notes · View notes
Note
i totaly forgot about canon lol oops sorry
but Saira thinking that Sarabi was already married and asking reader what's going on with that situation and reader is like "oooohhh yeah dad did say something about that. apparently his boyfriends husband was being a huge dick and stealing his money or something so dad asked a couple of our family friends (his goons but neither reader nor Saira know that) to help sort that out and help dads boyfriend get a divorce or whatever so dad could get with him officialy and get his boyfriend his money back"
reader isn't really aware of the entire situation between how rich!reader and Sarabi came to be together they're just glad their dad is not throwing his money at them in an attempt to show love and instead is throwing it at his new boyfriend
(reader caught their rich father attempting to knit a gift for Sarabi and knew that Sarabi had to be their step father. they're in there with grandma already planning their fathers and Sarabis wedding)
No need to apologize, I just think it makes everything funnier in this AU. Like Stone thought Sarabi was dead and now he knows that only is the man alive, he has a rich boyfriend. The absurdity of it all is hilarious.
Saira is happy her Uncle Ivan is now in a loving relationship, though she's a bit pouty that he hasn't come to visit her. But she's so interested to know more about your father and how good he is treating her uncle.
When you leave, she tells Stone about Kevin and Stone's like "Yeah, Auntie Ashok just told me everything on the phone. Apparently, even Uncle Nathan and Uncle Peter are alive."
Kali's ears will be ringing for awhile due to how much Stone yelled at him.
3 notes · View notes
kariachi · 7 months
Text
Who wants some fic featuring babies! Ben brings his household by to finally meet little Devlin Levin for the first time. Osmosian edition.
~~
One would think, given they lived so far apart, that not getting to see each other for a while would be second nature to Ben. It had been years since he’d lived close to Kevin- in that brief spot between him moving back to Geilla Bohln and Ben himself moving out to South Dakota- even with the tech levels at which Kevin worked more often than not there were months if not a whole year between visits anymore. Ben should have been used to not seeing him face to face. But, apparently that didn’t count when nesting was involved.
You could count the number of people who had seen Kevin in-person in the past year and a half on one hand. Irene, Argit, and Rad only three times. That was it. Gwendolyn had been joking for months that if it hadn’t been for Kevin still having his phone and Irene verifying things, she’d have assumed he was dead and Argit was covering it up. This was apparently vaguely normal for Osmosians, Kevin had just, in true fashion, taken it a step further. Nesting Ossys apparently got paranoid, and Kevin was paranoid on a good day. He hadn’t even been willing to use the Hollow Tone pack’s nesting den, the exact one he’d hatched in, instead digging himself a little something somewhere hidden enough that only his mates and Gwendolyn knew where it was, and Kevin had given her a world-shattering earful over the phone when he learned she’d decided to track the location down.
She hadn’t blabbed, presumably out of fear. Kai thought it was hilarious.
It was all worth it though. A year and a half and finally, finally, Kevin had decided that their surviving chick- the first out of two attempts- was grown enough to be removed from the nest and put into a proper nursery. A big step for a little baby who had, from what Ben could understand, only ever been inside that single den before. More important still, big enough for the nursery apparently also meant big enough for visitors, as long as they came in small groups, and Ben had fought to be the first in line.
He’d lost, but he’d fought. Apparently, family got first dibs and in this case that meant Kev and Irene’s moms, plus Rad going and bringing his own out to visit- her first trip outside their home system even. Grandchildren were apparently worth it, even if they weren’t blood. Then Packhead Kayzisk and his spawn. Manny and Gwendolyn had all but hovered outside the Levin home and still gotten elbowed aside by Molly. In the end he wasn’t even in the first dozen visitors, not even close.
Not that he could be sour about it, not when he and Kai did finally manage to make it inside, their own pair in tow, and saw the way Kevin lit up to see them.
“Was beginning to wonder if you lot were ever gonna show up!”
“We were beginning to wonder if we were allowed to!” Ben set himself down on the floor with more care than he normally would, keeping a careful grip on Kenny as he leaned with interest towards Kevin, not helped by the way he cooed at him and stroked what little hair there was on his tiny head. Kai just dropped down to the floor, visibly considering prying Lyn from where she’d immediately latched herself to her third favorite uncle before just shaking her head with fond amusement. “I’ve seen royals easier to get an audience with.”
“I mean, technically…” Ruffling Lyn’s hair with one clawed hand, Kevin turned his attention back to the rest of the small room, smile widening as his eyes reached the space behind Kai. “Hey, kiddo, come say hi.” Ben leaned to the side for a better view as Kai looked over her shoulder to watch the new addition freeze in place behind her.
If nothing else in the world, you could tell they were a hybrid. They reflected a lot of the human/Osmosian combination shape that was Kevin’s base, though covered in curly down and far, far smaller. Even at thrice Kenny’s age- fifteen months to five- they couldn’t have been all that much larger. Given the size of Kevin and Irene Ben had to assume they’d hit a major growth spurt at some point, unless they had more Argit in them than expected. It was possible, given how little Kevin’s tail was good for and the way theirs was wrapped around the leg of a chimera stuffie nearly as big as them. Really he’d have almost thought they were Kevin and Argit’s alone were it not for the way their shape deformed where their weight rested on the ground. Or the way everything shifted back into shape as they stepped forward, longer hindlegs leaving their butt in the air as they crept on all fours, paws(?) deforming again as they touched down. Or how unnaturally long their mouth was, slipping towards their throat, when they let out a single
“E’gi.” Ben took a moment to recognize it as an attempt at the ‘hello’ Argit gave in formal settings and over the phone, by which point Kai had already made herself as small as possible, smiling and cooing at the babe.
“Hey kiddo,” she said, “it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m your Aunt Kai.” The pair stared each other for a long moment, though Kai tried to make herself as unintimidating as possible. Slowly, the baby reached and swatted her nose. Startling despite herself, Kai fell back, prompting the baby to launch themselves behind Kevin. Ben couldn’t help laughing, prompting Lyn and Kenny to do the same. He expected Kevin to join in, but he was too busy with his spawn. As Lyn, still chuckling, abandoned him to help Ben check on Kai, he was murmuring and cooing something in Imperial Osmosian as he hoisted the poor little thing into his arms.
“Sorry,” he said once they were settled, careful to keep a baby-leg distance between himself and Ben as they and Kenny noticed and began inspecting each other. “They haven’t done that to anyone without a beak or muzzle before, I thought you were safe.”
“It’s fine,” Kai assured him with a laugh, an arm looped around her daughter, “they’re going to have a mean swing someday though.”
“Because that’s what we need,” Ben teased, grinning, “Kevin’s kid with a nastier right hook.” Kevin snorted, grabbing the toy they’d dropped in their rush and returning it to distracted and delighted chirps and burbles.
“Could be worse that that. Ossy down doesn’t normally come in yellow. We’re taking bets on just what other species are presenting.” For a moment Ben blinked, considering this as Kai reassured Lyn regarding her new cousin, before his grin widened. Just because, in revenge for over a year without grabbing lunch…
“Have they spit up yet? Because if not I’m gonna put fifty on Lepidopterran-”
5 notes · View notes
mcgnussen · 2 years
Text
kevin and renault - the break-up story:
this story is pretty short, but also pretty hilarious, and i was reminded of it because i have seen a lot of people talking about cyril. so here’s the story of kevin’s stint at renault, and more importantly, the way he “broke up” with them.
kevin had almost given up on getting a seat in f1 again, but then he was contacted by renault, who wanted him to be their first driver in the new team. the renault project was confusing, it kept falling through and then was back on and then fell through... but finally, it ended up with renault joining f1 in 2016 with kevin as their first driver. kev was super happy with getting a seat again and he was excited since renault was a factory team. they also told him he’d be the future of renault and made him a lot of fancy promises.
unfortunately for kevin, the car was shit. it was basically just an old lotus that had not been upgraded in two years. right from the bat, renault’s expectations for kevin were almost impossible. first of all, they wanted him to beat palmer with half a second every qualifying. in fact, kevin said in the book that the team talked a lot of shit about palmer and that made him uncomfortable. as kevin says, palmer was not a great driver, but he was very intelligent and diligent. so while there was no raw talent there, palmer could sometimes do quite well. and it is obvious that kevin respects him.
later on, renault refused to let kevin make any changes to the car to suit his driving style. they brought some upgrades that did not suit kevin, he wanted to revert the car back how it was before, but they forced him to drive a car he did not like or trusted. kevin crashed in spa because he had decided that palmer was not allowed to beat him. it was also the same weekend as those upgrades he did not like were introduced. kev gave it his all, and then too much, his car jumped, and he lost all downforce and crashed with 47g at eau rouge. he had the wind knocked out of him and he was in a lot of pain. everything below his feet was pulverised, had he been a bit taller then he would likely have lost his feet. he had trouble breathing and the doctor later admitted that kevin probably should have been driven to the medical centre in an ambulance. but kevin got through it and was ready for the next race.
while all of this was going on, kevin also had some troubles with the management of renault. cyril refused to greet him during race weekends. like he would just walk past him when kevin said hi. the two of them did not like each other. kevin thought cyril was a stuck-up snob and cyril apparently also had some problems with kevin. my guess is that k-mag was probably a little rough around the edges and maybe a little quiet. and as a dane, cyril definitely has an energy that seems to be like the polar opposite of the danish attitude. so it just seems they were too different. but i still think it’s fucking rude not to greet your driver. it’s not that hard to make a little effort.
anyway, kevin did not like the vibes at renault and it became obvious to him that they wanted either big drivers or french drivers on their team. he said that carlos sainz was often hanging out at the garage, so he knew that carlos would eventually join the team. and ocon was a reserve driver, but he was french and pretty respected, so kevin also knew he would soon get a seat. haas contacted kevin and asked about his contract situation - and he eventually signed with them because they wanted to give him a two-year contract and he liked how there was no bullshit in the haas team. renault had given him an offer, but only for one season and kevin knew that he was not in their future plans, so off to haas he went. 
a few days after kevin had signed with haas and told renault of his decision to reject their offer for 2017, he got a call from cyril where he told tevin that they had chosen palmer instead of him – despite people in renault begging him to stay and kevin having already made his decision. kev said to cyril: “i broke up with you first.” which is just HILARIOUS. he was pretty annoyed when the press release from renault made it out like he was fired. he told the truth to the press and made the joke about his seat even being offered to the pope, which prompted renault management (aka cyril) to threaten him with a lawsuit and prevent him from talking about the situation. yes, a lawsuit. i personally think cyril deserved being stabbed in the back by danny ric lmao.
kevin was sad to leave his crew, he was good friends with his mechanics. kevin usually has the best relationship with the mechanics in the paddock over pretty much everyone else. they are more like him personality wise. he thinks they are severely underrated and unappreciated, and he doubts that he could do their job for just one weekend. he thinks it is unfair that he has his little room, his fancy food while they are the ones who work the hardest. he is still friends with the mechanics from his previous teams - including renault.
25 notes · View notes
bluegrowlmon · 8 months
Text
I am about to be intensely negative about the film The Outwaters (2022), so if you like it, shield your eyes and look away.
(Both these movies have middling scores on IMBD by the way, which I find hilarious. Seem to be equally polarizing!)
Okay. That being said, I'm going to transcribe the messages I sent a friend about my feelings about The Outwaters (2022) and how it compares to Skinamarink (2022). Spoilers for both movies below.
puts on film critic hat
At their hearts, Skinamarink and The Outwaters invite a lot of comparisons: both came from nascent horror directors, had small budgets, told their stories using a nontraditional format, and are about their main characters dealing with a strange, unknown entity.
Where the difference comes in, and where I feel that The Outwaters fails, is in their executions.
Skinamarink is about two very young children, Kaylee and Kevin, who wake up one night to find their parents gone and that the doors and windows have also vanished. They try calling 911, but the phones don't work either.
they go about their lives. They eat cereal and milk and watch old VHS tapes, and every night, whatever entity is in their house becomes more and more apparent, moving objects, speaking to them, and eventually directly interacting with them.
Skinamarink does not work for every horror fan, and that's fine! it is very slow, has no soundtrack, and uses a lot of dread and ambient sound to create its tension. One of my friends watched it after me and was incredibly bored and unaffected by the whole thing, making me feel a bit silly in comparison.
BC I, on the other hand, was absolutely terrified and left about halfway through the movie theater showing.
Part of what affected me was just the core concept of the film. children being in danger messed me up more than i thought it would. the entity is never fully seen or known, but it behaves with internal logic, so its actions are predictable; it does whatever it has to to keep the kids in the house and 'play' with them, whether that means making the toilet disappear or telling the boy to stick a knife in his eye. which he does (offscreen).
despite the obscure storytelling method, the story itself is clear, and every scare and tension-building maneuver is used to tell this story and communicate the entity's intentions
It makes sense.
(btw - the part of the movie that messed me up hardest wasn't even a scare - it was the older sister, kaylee, who had to be like 6 or 7, trying her best to take care of her little brother, getting him food, and walking him to the bathroom. at one point they are going to sleep and Kevin says "l love you", and she responds, "i love you too." small moment, but incredibly effective at showing children trying to cling to each other and normalcy in a hellish situation)
((ok i lied, the part that messed me up hardest was kaylee without a face))
MEANWHILE, YOU HAVE OUTWATERS
where do i even start with this trainwreck
So the movie is about these 4 adults, 2 brothers, and 2 women who know them somehow, going out to the deserts of LA to make a music video
It's found footage btw
The movie is very slow to start with lots of buildup and sprinklings of character detail: one character learned an eerie lullaby from her deceased mother she sings for the video, and she's still torn up about the loss; one brother is estranged from his mother for reasons that the other brother doesn't know, things like that.
LITERALLy none of that is important. It doesn't influence the characters, how they react to the situation, or how they react to each other. You could start the movie when they get to the desert, skip the first 30 minutes and Nothing Changes
(I clearly Did Not Like the movie. If it turns out there were reasons for the buildup, awesome! I still think that the buildup was not well done enough to be apparent on a first viewing, meaning it loses points in my eyes)
The scares and inexplicable happenings can be scary - like the flashing light, the flesh worm thing, and the bloody guy in the desert - but the lack of internal cohesion stops it from ever being truly scary or impactful to me. There are weird worms that look like living intestines, the earth hums and makes weird shrieks into their microphones, there's time travel, donkeys that stare judgementally (, all this stuff, but it never builds to anything and conveys any real momentum. The 1 camera guy just stumbles from thing to thing.
The first serious scare is also the only one I liked (and notably it occurs before all the Weird Random BS starts happening)
The main camera guy is wandering through the desert at night away from the tent bc he heard a noise or something (side note: i would love even a tenth of the confidence of a white man in a horror movie)
he stumbles through the dark, and a blurry man covered in blood holding an axe runs up to him, and you hear a heavy impact. some blood falls. the camera guy makes a groaning kind of sound and stumbles back to the tent. He kneels by his brother, who has his back to him. 'my head is raining' the camera guy says. His brother doesn't move, or show he's heard, a microcosm of how he's acted the whole trip. 'my head is raining.' the camera guy says again. he touches his brother and gets blood on his shirt.
Most of the movie is camera guy, stumbling from strange happening to strange happening alone. I believe these kinds of horror stories work best when someone is trying to comprehend or interact with or escape the unknowable horror. if you experience it, and barely comprehend it, and don't really react to it, does it even count? then you're just like a dog in a movie theater. you experience huge awesome sensations about concetpts you barely comprehend but it just placidly slides off your brain.
the only attempt at some kind of though line is when camera guy stumbles upon a government 'stay out hazardous area' sign, implying some power knew this place was bad? but honestly that could have been for anything
So yeah, TL:DR, there's a very good reason people make skinamarink OCs and, as far as I know, no one has made an outwaters OC
Of course i could check tumblr or twitter and be proven wrong in an instant
takes off movie critic hat
3 notes · View notes
silasbug · 2 years
Text
dream log Nr. 005
30/08/2022
Type: - | Flow: - | Amount: 2+
.
unfortunately i waited too long to write this one down so i only remember some exerpts. pretty sure there were more than two dreams because these are just from my half-asleep self stirring a bunch in response to my cat playing fetch across my body.
.
#1. i probably had a previous dream that segwayed into this one but i can't remember, all i do remember is going to a hospital where there were a few teenagers that needed a place to stay during our current bomb-evacuation. one of them looked like a mix between my character Marie and Ethel Cain.
.
#2. in the hospital from the previous dream i entered a new room that had a pool-table like carpet. i think i wanted to leave for home, but suddenly Kevin, Kendra & Alex were there and we somehow decided to hang around the swimming pool area. we went down a long staircase and ended up in a rather big hall that was tiled all around. there were some lawn lounge chairs set up along a wall with big parasols (pray tell why these were necessary- the hall had no windows) and we never got to the actual water. we decide to stay there and sit in the chairs, and suddenly we are all in swimwear. i am in a bathing suit that fits really awkwardly and in the dream i am also very chubby. i feel a little odd at first but then i decide "i don't care" and settle into the weird feeling of my new body and the odd swimsuit.
Alex is in the chair to my right, Kendra to my left, Kevin past Kendra to my left. we are sat in a row and start conversing. Kenny eventually tells us that she broke up with Daniel, which was an extreme shock to all of us, but me specifically (they had seemed incredibly happy, they are two of my best friends so this was completely out of the blue). she starts going into detail as to why and mentions this guy that she'd seen around the university and how she was crushing on him (she had only seen him twice before and never interacted), i started feeling a little angry. this was so out of character for her, i couldnt fathom why she'd hurt someone she loved over someone she had only seen.
she goes on to start.. talking about things that bothered her about Daniel which just amounted to kink-shaming him for apparently getting a kick out of being tied down and tickled (of all things!!! why brain!!! there were even flashbacks IN THE DREAM so my friend just tying my other friend down and tickling him, in hindsight its hilarious but i feel so uncomfortable about it lmao). she started ridiculing it, making fun of Daniel, until i got so angry that i stopped her, asked her why she thought that talking about this was okay- that she had no right to share this kind of private info about him (even to friends), that there was no fathomable reason, and that it was unfair to him & if he'd wanted us to know something so intimate about him he would've told us himself.
i got up to leave and Kevin kind of tried downplaying it and asking me to stay, that Kendra is acting off (which she definitely was) & just dealing with it by making light of it but i just felt so uncomfortable by how she was acting like a completely different person and was disrespecting Daniel (because he hadn't done anything objectively bad, it really was just "haha he's such a freak his kinks are so weird").
Kendra is an incredibly sweet, supportive and kind person. she would never shame someone for something like this. she's strong and confident, can be callous when she needs to assert herself for sure, but i've never heard her lose a bad word about anyone.
0 notes
waitimcomingtoo · 3 years
Text
Kiwi
Pairing: Peter Parker x film enthusiast!reader
Synopsis: Peter is skeptical of your new guy friend
Masterlist
Tumblr media
You were a bit of a film nerd.
You always had something to say about a film. Whether it was random trivia about the actors or the original version of the script, you knew it and you had to share. Every time Peter heard you say, “did you know…”, during a movie, he knew he was in for something great. You seemed to know everything about every movie, and it brought Peter a great deal of amusement. His favorite thing, however, was when you showed him your favorite movies. You’d stay silent during these, always so enchanted by them. But when your favorite scene was coming, you’d let Peter know by giving his hand an anxious squeeze. That’s when he knew he had to stop looking at you and pay attention.
“Okay.” You turned the movie off and looked at Peter. “Be honest. What did you think?”
“I liked it.” Peter lied. He had barely paid attention. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the soft smile that rested on your lips throughout the film.
“That’s all?” You whined. “Did you know it took seven years to animate that dinner scene? Seven years for a three minute sequence. Isn’t that amazing?”
“It is.” Peter chuckled. “I was very impressed.”
“Me too.” You gushed. “It gets better every time.
“I bet. So how was your day today?” Peter asked as you laid your head down on his lap.
“I had a great day, actually.” You smiled up at him.
“Yeah?” Peter grinned as he stroked your hair. “What happened?”
“I was talking about The Babadook in theater today and this guy chimed in and told me it was his favorite horror film. Other than Midsommer, obviously.” You began. “Apparently he loves movies just as much as I do. Can you believe that?”
“Wow.” Peter nodded. “What’s his name?”
“Kevin.” You answered. “We’ve been texting all day. He’s making a list of his favorite movies and I’m making him a list of mine. God, I love when you meet someone and instantly click.”
“Yeah. Me too.” Peter said a little flatly. He didn’t love that you’d been texting this guy all day, especially when Peter didn’t know him. What he loved even less was how much you had in common with this guy.
As the weeks went on, Peter heard at least one mention of Kevin a day. Whether he was sending you a funny Tik tok or asking you for movie recommendations, Peter always saw his name on your phone. He checked out Kevin’s Instagram to see what he was like and saw a picture of the two of you with your arms around each other. Whenever Peter checked Kevin’s story on Snapchat, you were usually in in the background. It bothered Peter more than he liked, but he didn’t want to tell you he was jealous. He didn’t want you to think that he didn’t trust you, but he wasn’t so sure he trusted Kevin.
“Whats so funny?” Peter asked when he heard a giggle escape your lips. You were sitting on Peter’s bed, staring at your phone while he did his homework.
“It’s Kevin.” You chuckled as you typed something back. “I thought everyone in that class was uptight but he’s hilarious. I can’t believe we never spoke before this month. He’s like the funniest guy I know.”
“Wow. Good for you.” He smiled softly. “I’m glad you made a friend.”
“Me too. But enough about him. I want to hear about my lovely boyfriend.” You left your phone on the bed and went to Peter’s desk to sit with him. You sat down on his lap and wrapped your arms around him, bringing him into a long kiss.
“Your lovely boyfriend is very stressed about his annotated bibliography.” Peter sighed when he pulled away.
“Aw.” You cooed. “What’s it on?”
“Residential segregation in urban areas.” Peter told you.
“Hm.” You frowned. “I don’t know too much about that. But I could tell you five films that deal with it.”
“I’d love to hear them.” Peter smiled before leaning in for another kiss. Your kiss was cut short by the sound of your phone ringing.
“Hang on.” You sighed. “Sorry.”
“Who is it?” Peter asked as you went back to your phone.
“Kevin.” You answered before picking up. Peter frowned, feeling insecurity settle in his tummy.
“Hello?” You laughed softly. “I’m good. Yeah. It was Moonrise Kingdom. You’re welcome. Bye.”
“Sorry.” You said as you tossed your phone back on the bed. “He couldn’t remember the title of the movie I told him to watch.”
“Hm.” Peter nodded, not trusting himself to say anything helpful.
“Is everything okay?” You asked as you sat back down on his lap.
“Yeah.” He lied. “Everything is okay.”
A few weeks later, Peter was walking down the hallway when he spotted Kevin by the water fountain. He was too busy talking to some boy to notice Peter. Peter was thankful for this, since he was supposed to meet you between classes and he didn’t want Kevin to interrupt.
“There you are.” You came down the hallway and threw your arms around Peter. “Hi baby.”
“Hey princess.” Peter smiled before pulling you into a long kiss. He opened his eyes and flicked them up to see if Kevin was still there, which he was. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss out of spite.
“Woah.” You pulled away breathlessly after a minute. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Just wanted to show you some love. Since I love you so much.” Peter shrugged before kissing you again.
“I love you too.” You giggled between kisses.
“Do you want to come over after class today? I have a lot more love I want to show you.” Peter mumbled against your lips. He flicked his eyes to the side again and this time, Kevin was watching. He was too far to hear your conversation, but he could clearly see how affectionate Peter was.
“Yes, please.” You bit your bottom lip. “But I can’t come until after four. Kiwi and I-“
“Kiwi?” Peter wondered.
“Sorry, Kevin. Kiwi is my nickname for him.” You explained as Peter’s smile fell. “He and I were gonna get coffee after class.”
“Alone?” Peter pulled away a little with a pour. “Like on a date?”
“No.” You laughed. “Peter, Kevin is-“
“Can we not talk about Kevin?” He cut you off and pulled you back into his arms. “I want to hear about your day. How was class?”
“Good. It’s just so long. I can’t sit through it all without zoning out. That’s usually when I start thinking about you.” You smirked as you rubbed your nose against his.
“Thinking about little old me?” Peter touched a hand to his chest before pulled you into another kiss. He slid his hand down your body and gave your butt a squeeze, making sure he was extra affectionate in front of Kevin.
“Whew.” You pulled away in surprises for laughed. “We are in the hallway, mister. Save that for later.”
“I will.” He smacked your butt for good measure. “I’ll see you after four.”
“See you.” You blew him a kiss as you walked away. Peter smirked and leaned against the wall, pleased with himself for his little public display of affection.
Since Kevin was so very fond of posting you on his social media, Peter made sure to put a picture of you sleeping on his story. He added the caption “when she sleeps in your bed more than her own” just so everyone knew what was going on.
A few weeks later, you went to Peter’s dorm after a long day of classes in need of some cuddles. You opened Peter’s door and found him laying in his bed.
“Hey, princess.” He sat up a little in his bed. “You had a midterm today right?”
“Yeah. I didn’t do too well though.” You sighed. “There was an essay at the end that I didn’t really know how to answer.”
“I’m sorry.” He frowned and opened his arms to you. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay.” You mumbled as you climbed into his arms. “I was kinda bummed but then Kevin and I went to Dunkin so I feel better. It’s just a test.”
Peter quieted down when you mentioned Kevin, feeling that familiar sense of jealousy in his stomach.
“Is something wrong?” You noticed his mood change.
“Why are you and Kevin always together?” He asked quietly.
“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “We just like spending time together.”
“Do you hang out in a group or just you and him?” Peter wondered.
“Usually just me and him.” You told him, which is exactly what he didn’t want to hear. Peter pouted and tilted his chin up, not wanting you to see that he was upset.
“What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting up a little to stroke his face.
“He knows everything about movies. He’s the funniest guy you know.” Peter repeated the words you used. “And he takes up all your time. I don’t know, I’m a little worried.”
“About what? Kevin is just a friend.”
“But is that all he wants to be?” Peter asked. “Think about it, princess. You have the same passion as him and you’re drop dead gorgeous. There’s no way he’s not into you.”
“I promise you, he’s not.” You chuckled softly. “And he knows I have a boyfriend. I talk about you all the time.”
“You talk about him all the time too.” Peter said quietly.
“Hey, Petey.” You rolled on top of him and cupped his face. “You have no reason to be worried or jealous. I love you, okay? No one could take your place.”
“Okay.” Peter nodded, satisfied with what you said. “I believe you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me how you were feeling.” You smiled softly. “I’ll stop talking about him as much if it bothers you.”
You kept your word and stopped bringing Kevin up, which Peter appreciated. What Peter didn’t know was he’d still have you watch you laugh at Kevin’s texts and see the two of you in the hallways.
A few weeks later, Peter surprised you outside of your economics class during his free period.
“Hey, princess.” He came up behind you and pulled you into a hug.
“Peter!” You lit up. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Really?” Peter asked hopefully.
“Yeah. Kevin is about to get out of class. You can finally meet him.” You told him, and his smile fell. Of course your excitement was Kevin related. Before Peter could respond, Kevin walked out of a classroom and went up to you.
“There’s my girl.” He squeezed your hand. “How was economics?”
“Boring but he wore those pants again.” You laughed a little. Kevin seemed to know exactly what you were talking about, but Peter didn't.
“Did you take a picture?” Kevin’s eyes widened in excitement.
“I couldn’t.” You whined. “He was always facing us.”
“Ugh. Next time.” Kevin laughed. Peter looked between the two of you and cleared his throat, signaling that he was there.
“Oh, right.” You giggled. “Kevin, this is Peter.”
“It’s about time.” Kevin reached out to shake Peter’s hand. “Y/n told me all about you, Mr. Biochemistry and engineering major.”
“Nice to meet you.” Peter said stiffly as he draped an arm over your shoulders.
“You too.” Kevin smiled. “I gotta say, you’re the luckiest man in the world to be dating Y/n. I’m ready to marry her and I’ve only known her two months.”
“Yeah, well.” Peter smiled tightly and pulled you closer. “She’s taken.”
“I know.” Kevin sighed wistfully. “She never lets me forget it.”
“Haha.” Peter faked a laugh and hugged you even tighter. “I won’t either.”
“Aw.” Kevin smiled at the two of you. “Well, I wish I could stay but I have class in five minutes. It was great to meet you, Peter. We should all hang out soon.”
“Yeah.” Peter nodded. “Sure.”
“Bye Kiwi.” You called after him once he w no as walked away. You turned to Peter to see his reaction and noticed the displeased look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” You asked.
“Did he seriously just say he wanted to marry you? In front of me?” Peter asked angrily.
“He was kidding.” You assured him. “He would never marry me.”
“He didn’t take his eyes off you the entire time we were talking.” He grumbled.
“Hey.” You put a hand on Peter’s chest to calm him down. “You have nothing to worry about. Kevin is harmless. He likes me as a friend. He would never see me as something more.”
“I don’t know, princess.” Peter sighed and put his hand over yours. “He seems to really like you. I don’t think I’m comfortable with you guys hanging out alone all the time.”
“I understand what you’re saying.” You nodded. “But I promise, I wouldn’t be hanging out with this guy if I had any impression that he liked me.”
“Maybe he’s just good at hiding it around you.” Peter shrugged.
“He and I were gonna watch Eternal Sunshine this Friday. Would it make you feel better if you came too?” You suggested. “I’ve been meaning to show you that movie anyway.”
“Okay.” Peter nodded, feeling a little better. His frown didn’t let up, so you pinched his cheek.
“I love you.” You teased him.
“I love you too.” He broke into a smile finally.
Come Friday, you, Peter and Kevin were sitting in your dorm in front of a white sheet. Peter and Kevin sat in awkward silence as you fumbled with the projector.
“Okay, I think I got it.” You said finally, and the image appeared on the white sheet. You went to sit between Kevin and Peter, but Peter had other plans.
“You can sit with me, princess. Right here.” Peter loudly patted his lap. You laughed a little and took a seat between his legs, letting him pull you into his body. He wrapped his arms securely around your waist and pressed loud kisses to your cheek.
“You guys are so cute.” Kevin commented as he grabbed some popcorn.
“Thanks.” Peter said through an evil smile. He kissed your cheek again and snuggled you closer.
As the movie went on, Peter became progressively more affectionate. Usually you wouldn’t mind, but you didn’t want to make Kevin uncomfortable.
“Baby, not now.” You whispered to Peter as he kissed your neck. He had already left a hickey right where Kevin could see it.
“Sorry. I just can’t resist you.” Peter whispered back. Instead of kissing you, he slid his hands up your shirt and cupped your boobs. You craned your neck to raise an eyebrow at him, but he played dumb.
“What?” He asked innocently. “My hands were cold.”
“Sure.” You chuckled and let him keep his hands there the rest of the movie.
The following week, Peter walked through the halls feeling better about the whole Kevin situation. You spent the weekend in Peter’s dorm, only ever leaving for the bathroom or food. Peter made sure he posted pictures of you together throughout the day for Kevin to see. He could tell his jealousy was getting a little out of control, but he couldn’t help it. As long as Kevin was around, he had to keep his guard up.
Peter spotted your backpack in the crowded hallway and began to make his way to you. You usually walked back to the dorms together on Mondays since your classes ended at the same time. Peter stopped walking when he saw Kevin come out of a classroom and go over to you. He kept his back against the wall as he watched you and Kevin talk, feeling insecure once again. You were laughing loudly at whatever Kevin was saying, which made Peter roll his eyes.
“See you tomorrow, okay?” Kevin asked, brushing your cheek lightly with his thumb. You smiled excitedly and put your hand over his to keep it in place. Peter felt a white hot jealousy shot through his body when he saw this, a jealousy that quickly turned or anger. It was made even worse when Kevin pulled you into a hug. Peter had seen enough at that point and walked over to you and Kevin with heavy footsteps.
“Hey.” Peter said, shooting daggers at Kevin as he put a protective hand on your shoulder.
“Hey Petey.” You smiled and leaned into him.
“Hey, Peter.” Kevin waved. “Your girlfriend is a saint, by the way. I would not have made it through this semester without her.”
“Aw.” You gushed. “Stop.”
“I wouldn’t have.” He insisted. “I wish I could stay but I better run. Austin is waiting for me.”
“Ooo la la.” You teased. “See you at rehearsal.”
“See you.” He waved goodbye to the both of you and Peter was finally able to let out the breath he’d been holding in.
“Are you ready to walk home?” You asked as you turned to Peter.
“What the hell was that?” Peter jumped in right away, surprising you with his tone.
“What do you mean?” You blinked in confusion.
“You and Kevin.” He said. “Why was he touching you like that? And why were you touching him back?”
“Kiwi was just-“
“Enough of this Kiwi shit.” Peter cut you off. “How are you going to tell me I have nothing to worry about and then let him touch and you like that?”
“He was only touching me because-“
“Because he likes you? Like I said he did?” Peter didn’t let you finish. “You guys are together all the time, you’re always talking about him, and now you’re openly affectionate right in front of me? If you’re going to cheat on me, you could be a little more subtle.”
“Cheat on you?” Your eyes widened. “I am not cheating on you. I thought we cleared this up.”
“I thought so too. But apparently not.” Peter snapped. “Apparently you and your new boyfriend just can’t keep your hands off each other.”
“Kevin is not my boyfriend. You are.” You said quietly. “But you’re really hurting my feelings, Peter. How could you accuse me of something like that?”
“How could I not? It’s not like you’re trying to hide it.” He scoffed. “If I wasn’t standing right there, he probably would have kissed you.”
“I can promise you he wouldn’t.” You said as you looked at the ground.
“I can’t believe you’re still denying it after what I saw.” Peter said, getting emotional now. “How can you throw away everything we had for a guy you just met?”
“I didn’t throw anything away.” You looked up with tears in your eyes. “You’re the one ruining things with this stupid fight. How many times do I have to tell you that there’s nothing going on between me and Kevin? And how could you accuse me of cheating? Do you really think that little of me?”
“Now that you’ve shown me who you really are, I do.” Peter shot back. You sucked in a sharp breath and took a step back from him.
“You can walk home yourself.” You said through tears. “I don’t want to talk to you ever again.”
“Fine by me.” Peter shrugged, but he was already starting to regret everything. Before he could apologize for making you cry, you walked away. He decided to give you some space instead of running after you right away. Instead, he walked in the opposite direction and began to wander around campus. And sure enough, he ran in to...
“Hey Peter.” Kevin greeted with a smile. “I thought you were walking home with Y/n?”
“She left without me.” Peter grumbled without looking up. Kevin was the very last person he wanted to talk to right now.
“Is everything okay?” Kevin asked when he noticed Peters angry demeanor.
“It’s not really any of your business.” Peter narrowed his eyes at him.
“Okay.” Kevin backed off. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine, Kevin.” Peter rolled his eyes.
“Ugh. I hate the name Kevin.” Kevin tried to lighten the mood.
“Why?” Peter took the bait.
“It’s so masculine.” He grimaced. “It’s like, ‘hey, I’m Kevin. Wanna hear how loud my car engine is?’ Please. It’s so not me.”
“Is that why Y/n calls you Kiwi?” Peter asked, genuinely curious.
“Yeah.” Kevin smiled. “Cause I’m little fruity.”
“Fruity?” Peter wondered.
“Sorry.” Kevin chuckled. “I mean gay.”
“You’re gay?” Peter’s eyes widened. “Like, gay gay?”
“Yes sir.” Kevin replied. “But I haven’t come out to everyone yet. Only Y/n and my boyfriend Austin know. I asked them not to tell anyone. I don’t need anything else for people to target me for, you know?”
Peter stared at him for a moment, feeling a panic run down his spine. He had just accused you of cheating on him with your gay best friend.
“I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend.” Peter mumbled, feeling himself begin to sweat. You endured all of Peter’s accusations to keep Kevin’s secret, and now Peter felt awful.
“Damn.” Kevin said. “Does Y/n not talk about me? I tell Austin all about her.”
“She tries. I never let her.” Peter said sadly, angry with himself now.
“Why not?”
“Because I was stupid and super jealous.” Peter sighed and rubbed his face. “I was jealous even when she told me not to be.”
“Jealous of me?” Kevin laughed. “I don’t even like girls.”
“I didn’t know that. All I knew was you could talk to her about films and movies and I couldn’t.” Peter shrugged sadly. “I kept thinking you could make her happier than I could, so I got jealous. I’m such an idiot. You know I yelled at her today because of this?”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw you touching her face in the hallway and nearly lost my mind. I completely took it out on her.” Peter stressfully tugged at his hair.
“Oh, that.” Kevin laughed. “I’m the male lead in Y/n’s film project. My character is straight and I was having trouble portraying an accurate straight guy. She was teaching me some mannerisms that you do so I could use them on my scene partner. That thing in the hallway was just me joking around and showing her that I had been practicing. I never would’ve gotten through this theater class without her.”
“Oh my God.” Peter covered his mouth with his hand. “I made her cry over that? I thought you guys were sleeping together or something. I didn’t know she was helping you.”
“Yikes.” Kevin grimaced. “That’s not really fair. It’s not like she was the one touching me. Why would you yell at her over that?”
“Because I’m an idiot.” Peter said lamely. “And I don’t listen. She told me so many times that I had nothing to worry about. She said you didn’t like her like that, said you’d never marry her. She told me you weren’t a threat in every possible way without telling me your secret. And I just didn’t listen.”
“Peter, Y/n loves you. She would never cheat on you.” Kevin said like it was obvious. “She deserves a better apology than “I’m an idiot.” If my boyfriend tried to apologize to me like that, I’d tell him he was right and dump him.”
“Do you think she’s gonna break up with me?” Peter worried.
“Well how did you end things with her?”
“She told me to never speak to her again and walked away crying.” Peter recanted.
“Oh.” Kevin said quietly.
“What?” Petwr panicked.
“The good news is she’s not gonna break up with you.” Kevin began. “The bad news is she already did.”
“What?” Peter worried. “That was her breaking up with me?”
Before Kevin could answer, his phone buzzed with a text from you. He looked at it and cringed before looking at Peter.
“Oh no.” Peter gulped. “What did she say?”
“She said she just broke up with you and needs a coffee pick me up.”
“Okay.” Peter nodded.
“She also says she hates you and you broke her heart.” Kevin continued.
“Fuck.” Peter sighed. “I really messed up.”
“Yes. You did.” Kevin nodded. “And I’m sorry, but have no sympathy for you. She told you I wasn’t a threat and she was right. We both know Y/n, and you know her even better than I do. So we both know she’s not a cheater or a liar. She’s just a film nerd who likes to talk about her passions.”
“I know. I really fucked up.” Peter mumbled. “You’re her best friend. How can I win her back?”
“Why would you ask a gay man how to win a girl back?” Kevin asked. “Fuck if I know.”
“Right. Sorry.” Peter stammered. “Did she say anything else?”
“She said she’s meeting me at Dunkin in five minutes. And then she wants to watch Pride and Prejudice. Jesus, Peter. Pride and Prejudice? How bad did you hurt her?”
“Really bad.” He feared.
“Well now I have to go clean up your mess.” Kevin sighed. “And just so you know, I will be telling her the best way to get over you is to get under someone else. It’s always been my dream to say that.”
“Please don’t do that.” Peter begged. “Don’t tell her to sleep with anyone else.”
“If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.” Kevin shrugged as he sent you a text.
“What?” Peter asked. “What does that mean?”
“I’m sorry, Peter. But I’m on Y/n’s side with this. I can’t help you anymore. So don’t show up, don’t come out, and definitely don’t start caring about her now.”
“Are you speaking in riddles?” Peter whispered.
“Walk away.” Kevin nodded. “You know how.”
With that, Kevin walked away and left Peter all alone.
Peter trudged back to his dorm alone and sent you a long apology. You texted him back a day later and told him you needed some space, which he understood. He let two weeks go by before knocking on your door.
“What are you doing here?” You asked when you opened the door for Peter. He could tell you had been crying and could hear a movie playing in the background.
“Apologizing to my beautiful girlfriend who’s feelings I hurt.” He said sheepishly as he held out the ice coffee he had brought you.
“I’m not your girlfriend.” You stated, eyes flicking to the ice coffee. Peter held it out further and you took it from him, grabbing a reusable straw off your dresser.
“Yes.” Peter agreed. “But for the small price of letting me in the door, you could be again.”
“Fuck off.” You scoffed and tried to close the door.
“Here me out.”Peter pleaded and stuck his foot in the door. “What if I fuck in so we can talk? Please? I really miss you.”
“I don’t miss you.” You said without missing a beat.
“You posted the lyrics to All Too Well three times this week. You have to miss me a little.” Peter reasoned.
“What are you doing here?” You sighed, knowing he was right. “I thought I told you not to talk to me.”
Peter frowned and looked around for anyone who might be listening.
“I didn’t know Kevin was gay.” He said quietly.
“He isn’t out yet.”
“I know.” Peter nodded. “He told me.”
“You talked to him?” You raised an eyebrow at him as you sipped your drink.
“Yeah. He’s a cool guy.” Peter smiled shyly. “I see why you hang out with him.”
“Yeah. He is a cool guy. He trusts me when I ask him to and doesn’t misplace his anger.” You said through a tight smile as you walked into your room. Peter followed and shut the door behind him. He saw that you were playing Little Women on your projector and had tissues strewn all around the room.
“I fucked up.” He told you. “I never should have accused you of cheating. And I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You didn’t deserve that.”
“How many times did I tell you Kevin wasn’t a threat?” You set down your drink and folded your arms. “You said he made you uncomfortable so I stopped talking about him. You said you didn’t want us to be alone all the time so I invited you to hang out with us. I did everything I could to make you feel more comfortable without outing my friend and it still wasn’t enough for you. You just don’t trust me.”
“I do trust you.” He promised. “But I was insecure and jealous, even when you told me I didn’t need to be. I couldn’t help but feel like he could be a better boyfriend to you. He can talk to you about your passions in ways I can’t. That’s why I got so mad. I felt like I couldn’t measure up.”
“No one asked you to.” You shrugged. “I never expected you to know random shit about movies. It’s just something I like. I was happy with you just the way you were.”
“And I was too blinded by my jealousy to see that.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. You told me to trust you and I didn’t. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
“I don’t care.” You told him. “I just want you to leave.”
“I’m scared that if I walk out, we won’t fix things.” Peter said softly.
“Good.” You said flatly. “So get out.”
Peter opened his mouth to speak, but realized he had nothing productive to add. His eyes shifted to your projector, where Little Women was still playing.
“Did you know the costume designer made the same article of clothing for Saoirse and Timothee so it could look like Jo and Laurie shared clothing?” Peter asked quietly.
“Yeah, I did know that.” You nodded. “How did you?”
“I’ve been doing research on films you like to impress you.” Peter admitted. “Did you know they used Angelina Jolie’s real daughter in Maleficent because all the other children were scared?”
“I knew that too.” You cracked the faintest hint of a smile.
“Well did you know that Psycho-“
“Was the first film to feature a toilet flushing.” You finished his sentence for him. “Yeah, I know. You googling top ten crazy movie facts isn’t gonna fix this.”
“I know.” Peter agreed. “But I hope it shows you how badly I want to try.”
You stared at Peter for a long time, unsure of what to do. You chewed your bottom lip as you mulled over your options. You knew he was sorry, but you didn’t know if you were ready to forgive him.
“You asked me to leave. I’ll listen this time. I’m sorry about everything.” Peter gave you a soft smile before turning to leave.
“Peter, wait.” You said, and he internally rejoiced.
“Yes?” He asked innocently as he turned back around.
“I made more popcorn than I can eat.” You said timidly. “You should stay and finish the movie with me so I don’t waste it.”
“Okay.” Peter smiled in relief and took a seat on your floor. You sat down next to him and handed him the bowl of popcorn.
“But just so the popcorn doesn’t go to waste.” You reminded him and he took a handful.
“No, of course.” Peter nodded, not wanting to push his luck. You stared at him for a minute as he fought back a smile, losing his battle in no time. You rolled your eyes at him before resting your head on his shoulder.
“I’m only doing this for neck support.” You told him.
“I believe you.” He answered as he wrapped an arm around you. “I love you, princess.”
“Yeah, yeah.” You smiled a little as you put some popcorn in your mouth. “Whatever.”
Tag list 🏷
@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @weirdr-artiest @serendipitous-amor @dummiesshort @foreverxholland @lavender-writer @michaela072796 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101 @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @flixndchill @sovereignparker @thisisthebiplace @spideydobrik @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave @itscaminow @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah @kickingn-ames @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @love-sick-blues @electraheart-3174 @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @spideyanakin @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl @anapocalypseinmymind @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @tomshufflepuff @cookiemonstermusic258 @maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey @im-still-tryin-to-find-it @big-galaxy-chaos @pandaxnienke @theincredibledeadlyviper  @thestylestour  @officialsimppage @mrvelscaptains @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours @satanswitchings @okkulta @parkerlovebot @jungkxxkk @friendlyneighborhood-mendes @whatthefuckimbisexual @olixerwxxd @starkbrain @creatorofthegalaxy @sunshine-spencie @f-hollands @ilovefrogs1000 @itstaskeen @itmatteredatthetime @wrendermeuseless @amazinggracy @slutforsebstan @iprobablyshipit91 @magicalxdaydream @whereismytelephone @theonly1outof-a-billion @leilanixx @namoreno @bi-lmg @dracoswhore007 @tomhollandloml @avengers-hamiltrash @sunshinepeterparkr @gh0stgurl @so-very-asleep @veryholland @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @white-wolf1940 @spideycheles @w0nderzwndaya @fanficaddict13125 @pinklxmonade @thebestqueenoftheworld @nowayhomeparker @willowestelle @imobsessedzs @spideyspeaches @bookfrog242 @mathletemadison​ @hihiweezing​
1K notes · View notes
Text
Blacking Out and Breaking Hearts - Chapter 18
Tumblr media
Blacking Out and Breaking Hearts - Master List
Word Count: 7.5K
Warnings: 18++ (How much smut is too much???)
Summary: Y/N is a successful musician, trying to navigate the world of stardom along with her complicated feelings for her best friend, Harry.
Alternatively: The one about ‘Carnival’.
A/N: OOOOOH HERE WE GO!!!! SCREAM IF YOU WANNA GO FASTAAAA!!
We’re getting closer to the infamous Halloween Party from chapter 1... Y’all...
Song Inspo for this chapter: Carnival by Kevin Devine
Chapter 18
Your stomach was tight with nerves. This was typical for any music release, but for some reason today you felt more nauseated than normal. Maybe it was just that this song meant so much to you, or that it was the first single off of the new album. Or, you thought, it was because Harry was going to be out there somewhere hearing it. Regardless, you were barely able to hear Bethany’s voice as she droned on about all of your plans for the next few months. You were starting to second guess yourself again, wondering if this was the right thing to do. Whether you thought so or not, it was happening in t-minus 10 minutes.
You had been in London now for a few days now, doing more interviews and sightseeing with Logan. You missed Harry desperately, wishing he could be here with you to show you around. Everytime you thought about it your heart fluttered, imagining Harry taking you around the city. Harry… Holding your hand as you walked down the street, kissing your cheek, laughing at something you’d said…
The news had broken, too, that Harry and his girlfriend had split up. It came out the day you arrived in London, the tabloids quick to jump on the story. There was a mixture of sadness and joy in the responses to that. Fans happy Harry was single again, fans mourning the loss of their favorite couple. And of course, the fans that were quick to jump on the Harry and Y/N train. ‘If they don’t get together now I’m gonna riot.’ someone had posted on Twitter. You remembered smiling as you read that one. I know something you don’t know…. You had thought to yourself smuggly.
“Did you see the news today?” Harry had asked you as soon as you picked up the phone the morning the stories came out. “Harry Styles the notorious womanizer has spilt up with his girlfriend yet again.”
Your chest ached for him. Outside of your fans, there were a lot of negative opinions circling around. Of course, the internet had plenty to say about the entire ordeal. You couldn’t help but feel satisfied, just a little, no matter how badly you felt for Harry.
“I’m really sorry.” You told him genuinely. You wished you could give him a hug, to kiss his neck and do whatever he wanted you to do to make him forget about all of the articles and tweets and press.
“It’s a’right.” He said, sighing. “I’ve heard it all before. And it feels kind of good if I’m honest.”
You smiled, happy he couldn’t see your expression through the phone.
“What kinds of stories have they invented this time?” You asked him, knowing there had to be some sort of narrative about the whole thing. He chuckled.
“Well, apparently she met a new man in Brazil.” He began. “And I’m supposedly too busy to spend any time with her. Oh, and I obviously cheated on her, too.”
You both laughed awkwardly at that last part. All of the theories were so outlandish that they seemed laughable, but the truth of the last one was slightly unsettling.
“Oh really?” You inquired tentatively, “With who?”
“That’s a mystery as far as Buzzfeed is concerned.”
You let out a breath, relieved.
“Oh, and then there’s the people who don’t think we even broke up at all. Apparently I’m in France with her right now.”
God, this was all such a mess. It was hilarious, watching the world speculate. They made Harry fit any narrative or scenario they wanted him to. It was funny in a horrible, fucked up way.
“Well this is awkward.” You joked, pretending to believe the last rumor he reported back to you. You both laughed, exchanging ‘I miss you’s and ‘I’ll see you soon’s before hanging up.
You hadn’t talked to him at all today for the first time in weeks, Harry being wrapped up in a million little things. You had tried not to think about it as you and Logan went out to lunch and to see the sights that afternoon, but it was driving you crazy. Especially considering the song you were about to drop that Harry had no clue was coming. You texted him as the count down to the drop continued, telling him you missed him and couldn’t wait to come back home.
It was close to midnight, when ‘Carnival’ would be officially put out into the world. You scrolled through Twitter, reading the reaction of your fans as they watched the live countdown. The ache in your chest was lulled slightly by them, as cheesy as it seemed. They were all so excited, waiting restlessly to see what all of the build up had been about. You had revealed the title of the song that morning, posting a picture of your feet wearing a large pair of white and red clown shoes. ‘Carnival. Tonight.’
‘Little does she know the real clowns are us right now’ Someone tweeted, reposting the picture onto their feed. You giggled to yourself, chewing on a fingernail.
The day you’d written Carnival seemed so long ago now. You remembered how your mind was racing, how your inner voice was chastising you relentlessly for all of the little things you’d done wrong. You had felt so small and pathetic. You felt like a joke. No, you felt like a clown. And so you wrote a song about it, furiously typing away about all of the times you came running back to Harry no matter what had happened. You wrote about how hard it was being constantly in the spotlight, being put on display in front of the world in all of your weakest moments. You were just a clown, unable to get away from the circus.
I quit the carnival, it moved next door…
‘She called the song Carnival because she knew she was about to turn twitter into a circus.’ someone else commented. Your chest felt tight and you couldn’t keep yourself still, repositioning every few minutes.
I thought I’d had enough, but I want more…
It all seemed so far away now, all the times you had told yourself you were done with Harry before going right back to him. It was all so stupid. And things were so good now, which only worsened your nerves as you worried what this song might lead to. With Harry and with your fans.
So now I’m sneaking out at night,
I paint my face and shine my shoes.
Go where I’m not supposed to…
You remembered the kiss in the studio, the night on his balcony, the night he pulled you away upstairs… It all seemed like a distant memory and like it was yesterday, all at the same time.
I tamed a lion once, I stole his roar.
I stripped his pride away, but he found more.
So now he’s back to take what’s his 
And shove my future in my face.
Scare me back into my place...
Your hands started to shake, and you felt like you would be sick. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You wished Bethany would just leave, to let you be alone for a while. She kept telling you how exciting it was, that there were ‘only a few minutes left now’. You were so, so very well aware of that fact.
You had listened to the song one final time that morning, alone in your hotel room. A song that you thought was about Harry, about everything that had happened. Listening to it that morning you knew it was more specific than that. It was about that night at the party. The night he’d pressed his hand over your mouth and whispered that he loved you in your ear. It was angry and it was ugly and it was just too much to listen to.
So soon, so soon... 
You got it beat ‘til it beats you.
The worst part was that you didn’t even feel that way at all anymore. You weren’t angry at Harry. You both had moved past all of the hurt and the confusion, Harry’s body finding a way to soothe every broken part of you. But it was so painfully obvious to you when you’d listened to it again, the way this song would sound to him. You had tried to talk to Bethany about releasing a different song, but she wouldn't even hear it. There really wasn’t any time left.
I left my flaming sword beside your bed,
I woke to find it pressed against my neck.
You wept, ‘Suggestion never works
So now I’m trying something else.’
I shut my eyes, ho hum, oh well....
The fans on Twitter were losing their minds at this point, and you distracted yourself from the sinking feeling in your stomach by scrolling mindlessly through the chaos. Two more minutes.
I felt a feather fold, a tree trunk split.
Inside my lion’s laugh played violins.
He said ‘You should give up your voice
Before we both end up destroyed’…
I quit. 
Alright. 
He purred, ‘Good Boy’.
Bethany gave your shoulder a loving squeeze and you gave her the best smile you could muster. You loved her, and you knew she wanted to be here for you. You just wished she wouldn’t be this time.
‘Cause you’ll believe anything’,
And we went and copped.
‘And you’ll fall for anyone.’
And I said ‘That’s not exactly true,
It’s only you. I’ll do what you do.’
You laid down on the floor, covering your face with your hands. You literally couldn’t stand to sit upright. Logan snapped a picture of you like that, posting it on her Instagram story. Carnival. Two Minutes.
You shut your eyes and pray for peace,
Think, ‘I’m not here, this isn’t me.
This isn’t something I would do,
I know the complicated truth.’
Time was going by painfully slow. You could basically feel each second as it passed.
A makeup mask, a lion’s roar.
A big top tent, a fire sword.
They’re not real, they never were,
And soon he won’t be real either.
Your heart pounded against your rib cage. Seconds kept ticking…
This is the life you went and earned
Because you never fuckin’ learn.
And you could waste all of your years
Fixing the mess you're making here.
So as his nervous breath draws close,
You clutch your chest and whisper..
“Zero!!!” Logan screamed! Time stopped ticking.
Oh no, no…
What will I do? What will I do?
My love, my love..
What will I do?
Then, it happened. The song was out.
Logan popped a bottle of champagne, offering you a hand to lift you from the ground. They both looked so happy for you. You tried your best to be happy, too, accepting the drink Logan handed to you. You took a long, desperate gulp.
“You did it!” Logan said, still yelling. She held you in her arms, tears forming in her eyes. When you looked at her as you pulled away, you were able to see it. That same spark she had in her eyes the first time ‘Autumn’ ever played on the radio in your hometown. That was lifetimes ago now. Eons. You felt the joy and the excitement and the pride rolling off of her in waves. You smiled, feeling relieved and proud and exhausted. You really had done it. Not just this song, but the album. And that was a good thing. It was amazing.
And so you were able to shake the pit in your stomach, replacing it with champagne and all the room service you could order. It was a proper celebration, the three of you basking in the feeling that came with putting out new music. You had almost forgotten how good this felt.
Once Logan was too drunk to stand (she hadn’t changed at all in the last year), you put her to bed and wished Bethany a good night as she left for her own room. You tucked Logan in, feeling wobbly and happy and nervous all at once. You found your hotel room, throwing yourself onto the bed.
It had been a few hours now since the song had dropped, which gave your fans plenty of time to listen and start talking about it. You were scared and excited to see what they had to say. You opened Twitter to find ‘Carnival’ was already trending. You clicked on the link, scrolling through all of the things people had to say about it.
The response, so far, was overwhelmingly positive. Everyone was ecstatic, sharing their favorite lyrics or pleading with you to put out the rest of the album early. You couldn’t help but kick your feet on the bed, overly excited and overcome with emotion. You continued scrolling, realizing that you may have celebrated too soon.
‘IT’S LITERALLY ABOUT HARRY I-’
‘Harry is so shook right now!’
‘I can’t believe this is really happening before my eyes.’
‘If you still don’t believe there’s something going on with them.. I can’t help you.’
‘The lion omg omg omg the lion is Harry.’
Under that particular tweet was a screenshot of a picture you had posted, months and months ago. It was a photo of Harry at one of your concerts before the last tour had ended. You had caught him off guard, Harry looking at the camera with a wild, excited expression on his face. ‘That was the best one yet!’ he had been saying to you. At that point it was only the second show he had ever been to, happening a few weeks after that night you’d spotted him on the balcony at The Pageant. You still remembered the way your face burned for him, though. You couldn’t even remember what city or what country you had been in that night you’d taken the photo. But you remembered the way you felt, performing knowing he was backstage waiting for you. That was back before all of this, before everything. You barely even knew him here, in this photo. It seemed like centuries ago... His hair was wild, his fingers combing through his sweaty curls in the shot. You read the caption.
‘Thanks for coming to the show, little lion.’
Well, fuck. You clicked your phone off and laid it on the cushion next to you. It felt like someone had taken your diary out from under your pillow while you slept and read it out to the world. Only you had done it to yourself. In fairness, that was what you always did when you wrote songs. But this was different. No one ever knew who you were talking about before. No one knew about Hudson from college, or Tyler from Senior year. But everyone… everyone knew Harry Fucking Styles.
Oh no, no.
What will I do?
///
You felt better the next morning, Carnival climbing the charts and everyone giving you such positive feedback. In all honesty you really did think it was a great song, and probably the best thing you’d ever written. But you hadn’t heard from Harry, and you tried not to let that eat away at you as you arrived at the radio station. It was early, too early, and you just wanted the whole thing to be over with so you could get back to sleep.
Everyone at BBC Radio 1 was as lovely as always. You spotted Nick Grimshaw through the tiny window into the room where he was recording. You gave him a little wave, and he smiled ear to ear. He finished his thought, removing his headphones as you entered the room.
“How lovely to see ya!” He bellowed, wrapping you in a hug. You hummed against his chest in agreement. “I love the new song!”
“Thank you!” You said appreciatively, taking your seat across from him. “I’m so excited to be here.”
“We’re excited to ‘ave ya!” He said. “Ready?”
///
The interview started great, your spirits starting to lift as you told Nick about the new album and how excited you were for everyone to hear it. You really were excited to put the new album out, despite your sour attitude the last few days. You could sense everyone around you growing weary of you, seeming annoyed by the way you moped around and answered all of their questions with mumbled “mhmm”s or a shake of your head. Not seeing Harry had taken a toll on you, but not as much as the fear of what would happen when the song came out had. Nick played the new song as you chatted casually about your ride to the studio, and then you were back on the air.
“What a great tune from Y/N!” He said into his microphone. He made a silly hoot noise, clapping his hands lightly.
“Thank you, thank you.”
“Now, I ‘ave to say, out of all the songs I’ve heard written about Harry Styles, this one’s got to be m’favorite!” He said, and you could feel your face drop practically to the floor. You covered your face with your hands but lowered them quickly, almost hearing Bethany scolding you already. You shook your head.
“Oh, shut up!” You said, trying to seem light-hearted. “What exactly makes you think that?”
“Well I think we’re all thinking that if I’m honest.” He teased. “Unless you’d care to tell uz all otherwise.”
You thought for a moment, rehearsing in your head exactly what you had planned to say in the shower that morning.
“Honestly, I think that it’s just the fact that Harry and I are such good friends. Like, Harry’s probably the most interesting person making music right now and so the whole thing would just be a lot more interesting if I’d written that song about him.” You began. Nick nodded along, not seeming totally convinced but also not cutting you off to call your bluff.
“I just didn’t.” You added with a shrug. “But obviously people are going to hear what they want whenever you put something new out so everyone can think what they want, I guess.”
“Fair enough.” Grimmie said. Your answer must have satisfied him because he chose not to press the matter any further. “It sounds to me a bit like you’re commenting on life as a celebrity, right? Has your life changed a lot in the last year since you put out the last record?”
“I mean, it has for sure. I definitely think that this song’s more about me than it is about any person or relationship. I’m literally comparing myself to a clown, you know, because that sometimes is how it feels.”
“Like you’re putting on a show.” Nick added. You nodded your head enthusiastically, feeling relieved that you were able to explain yourself even to a small degree.
“Exactly! And I don’t mean that in, like, an oh-I’m-so-famous-my-life-is-so-hard kind of way, because that would just be annoying. I think it’s just that I don’t think I’ve been able to really find that balance between the performance and my real life yet. Or at least that’s how I felt when I wrote it.”
“Well I think it’s incredible. Is there more like that we can expect on the new record?” Nick asked, leaning onto his folded hands. His eyes were soft, not glistening with humor as they had been just a minute ago.
“Yeah, sort of. I wrote about a lot of things, for sure, and a lot of it was obviously inspired by the last year and a half of my life.”
Nick smiled, and you felt calm and confident in the way you had handled the situation. You wondered how convinced the people listening at home would be.
“Well, I can’t wait to hear it, love.” He said. “And I’m sure the rest of the world agrees.”
Nick raised an eyebrow at you, giving you a cheeky grin. He wasn’t done with you yet, after all . “Harry Styles, on the other hand, is probably shaking in his boots.”
“Oh my god..” You groaned, laying your forehead on the table. Just laugh and play it off. Just laugh and play it off. “You’re impossible!”
“I’ll leave it, I’ll leave it!” Nick swore, still chuckling. “I just wanted to give you another opportunity to tell the truth, that’s s’all.”
“I am!” You laughed. You were kind of on fire today, lying straight through your teeth. Your hands shook softly, your fingers gripping your chair to try and steady the trembling. Your face was giving nothing away, almost enjoying the back and forth of it all. It seemed the song had started that so-called ‘domino effect’ that Bethany had predicted, but maybe that wasn’t the worst thing in the world, right? “I’m so sorry to disappoint you.”
“He’s single, you know. I heard it just the other day.” Nick continued. He looked down at his hands, tapping his finger on the table. He kept throwing you glances comedically, trying to drive his point home. “Any comments on that?”
“You have Harry’s phone number, don’t know?” You jabbed at him, “You could call him and ask him about that yourself. I don’t have anything juicy to tell you about all that.”
“He didn’t tell you anything about it?” He pressed. You rolled your eyes at him jokingly, giving an exasperated sigh.
“He didn’t tell YOU anything about it?” You threw back at him. For some reason talking about Harry didn’t seem so hard now, even if you were still hiding the things you felt for him from the world. At least you weren’t hiding them from him anymore. Lying to the world didn’t hurt as much when it didn’t feel like you were lying to yourself.
“Very well played, dear.” Nick said, giving up. “Next up we have another tune that, just like this one, definitely wasn’t written about Harry Styles. We’ll be right back.”
Another song began playing, and you both removed your headphones.
“You’re wrong for that.” You teased him, pointing. He gave a sideways smirk, shrugging innocently. You chatted some more about what you’d spent your time in London doing so far before continuing on with the show.
You chatted on air for a while longer, and the muscles in your stomach were sore by the end from laughing so much. You hugged goodbye once the microphones were turned off, and you almost wanted to thank him for going easy on you. He had grilled you pretty good, but it was all in good fun. All just a joke. The audience would surely understand that. As soon as you were shoved into the backseat of the car taking you back to your hotel, you were dialling Harry’s number again.
“I don’t think that could have gone any better!” Bethany was saying. She was so pleased with your performance, it looked like she was going to explode. You smiled and nodded politely, pressing the phone to your ear. The dial tone droned on.
“Really, you did amazing. You were so great.” She couldn't help saying. You kept humoring her (a little ‘mhmm’, or ‘I agree’, or even ‘totally!’ thrown in here or there), begging the universe that Harry would pick up the phone. It went to voicemail.
///
You decided to go up to Logan’s room when you arrived at the hotel instead of your own. She’d stayed back that morning, feeling too hungover to come with. She seemed pretty torn up about it, but you had insisted it wouldn’t be any fun for her anyway and that she should rest. You used the extra key card you had for her room, not wanting to pound on the door or wake her up if she was still asleep.
“Hellllo?” You sang lightly into the room. As you stepped inside, you could here her talking softly on the phone to someone. You felt rude, not wanting to interrupt, so you just waved at her silently as you turned the corner.
“I miss you, too.” She was saying. She was sitting up on the mattress, her head leaning down onto her fist that was propped by an arm on her knee. “I’ll be back so soon, I promise.... Yes...  I miss you too.”
This is when she noticed you, her eyes widening like a deer in headlights. Her mouth fell open, and she cut off whatever the person on the other end of the phone was saying.
“I have to call you back.” She said harshly, hanging up.
She looked at you. You looked at her.
“Um, ma’am, who was that?” You asked suggestively. Logan’s face was beet red, and you noticed then that she was really, really upset. She wasn’t snickering or giddy like she usually was if she was talking to someone special like you thought she was. 
“It’s nothing.” She said, her tone short. You almost flinched, the way her words fell to the floor like bricks throwing you off completely. 
“Okay…” You said, contemplating whether you should just retreat now and spend the rest of the day alone, leaving her to whatever it was she had going on. As her friend, though, you felt the need to press her about it, at least just a bit more. Just to make sure she was okay. “Is everything alright with you?”
“I’m fine. Seriously.”
She smiled, but the expression didn’t reach her eyes.
“I’m kinda worried about you...” You pressed further, just the tiniest bit more. She shook her head, waving you off. You wanted to run out of the room, all of the air escaping somehow and making it almost unbearable.
“Y/N, can we please just leave it? I’m asking you to just forget about it. Please.”
“Are you talking to someone you don’t want me to know about?” You asked her, laughing a little bit through your words. You were only joking, but as the words left your mouth a lightbulb flickered on inside your brain. Your heart fell to the floor. What if she was talking to someone she didn’t want you to know about? Who could that possibly even be? All of the time spent out of the house.. All of the hushed phone calls you could hear through the walls late at night...
“Like who, Y/N? Who could I possibly be talking to that I wouldn’t want you to know about?”
She looked at you, her mouth pressed into a thin, expectant line. You shrugged, whispering an ‘I don’t know’ into the thick air around you. But you did know. You knew exactly who she could possibly be talking to, the only person on earth that you wouldn’t want her to. You let it slide, not wanting to accuse her of something so heinous when it was probably nothing at all. You knew that couldn’t possibly be it. Never in a million years would Logan do that to you. You knew that.
“Alright. Fine... So, did you have any plans today?” You asked her after a moment of tense silence. She was still flushed.
“Just hanging out with you. How did the interview go? I’m really sorry I missed it.”
You sat down on the bed next to her, somewhat tentatively, and told her all about the interview. She laughed when you did and seemed genuinely happy hearing that it had gone well. Whatever was bothering her would come up eventually, you thought. You knew that. For now, it was best to let her be and she would come to you when she was ready. There was a funny feeling for the rest of the afternoon, though, as you talked and laughed and played happy. A tiny, festering feeling tucked away in a corner of your mind that you couldn’t quite shake.
///
You woke up the next day, too early, and hopped on a plane back to LA. The time zones were working against you, making it almost impossible to get a hold of Harry. You’d be back in LA soon, though, and would be able to finally see him in person. You turned your phone off, almost instantly falling asleep as London passed by underneath you.
You woke up, disoriented, hearing the commotion of people moving around you.
“I can’t believe you slept that entire time.” Logan said, giving you a soft shake. She was in a much better mood today, a great mood even. She was smiling ear to ear, her hair and makeup done in stark contrast to the state you had found her in yesterday.
“Did I really?” You asked, groggy. You followed everyone off of the plane and into the airport, which you tried to navigate in your half-awake state. You smiled and waved at the crowds of people that surrounded you, not having the energy to stop for questions today.
“It’s lovely to see you but I’ve had a long flight.” You told them, blowing kisses their way. You paused a few times, snapping photos in which you looked absolutely dreadful. But that was okay, you really didn’t mind when you knew how much a photo with you could mean to someone. There were questions thrown at you, about Harry mostly, which you simply pretended not to hear.
“I’m going to head over to Rachel’s.” Logan said once you had made your way through the chatter. She gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. “Are you staying at Harry’s tonight?”
“I’m not sure if he’s back in town yet, I haven’t spoken to him.” You answered. There would be no better feeling right now than curling yourself up in his arms, throwing on some scary movie and spending the day without any more obligations. You began to fantasized about it, Logan snapping you back into reality suddenly.
“What do you mean you haven’t talked to him?” Logan asked, dumbfounded. “Like at all?”
“Not in a few days…” You explained. “He’s been so busy and I don’t think he has a great signal. His video shoot was in the middle of nowhere.”
“But he’s heard the song, though, right? You showed him already?”
You pulled a guilty expression, making Logan throw up her arms in exasperation.
“Y/N, are you serious?”
You could only shrug, not able to defend yourself. You had spent so much time convincing yourself it was all going to be fine that Logan’s reaction sent you into a spiral of panic. She gave you a quick hug, telling you she would see you later and wishing you good luck with your conversation with Harry.
He probably wouldn’t be upset, right?
You climbed into the car that was outside waiting for you, ignoring the sneaking suspicion that maybe you were wrong about that.
///
You turned your phone back on as you were approaching the house, seeing several missed calls and texts pop up immediately.
The new song is amazing. Congratulations!!!!!
It was Anders again. You thanked him, apologizing for taking so long to get back to him. It had been weeks since you’d spoken to him last, having finally told him you were too busy with work for the moment to hang out. He was so understanding, wishing you luck and thanking you again for all of the advice you’d given him. He was such a sweet boy, you really felt awful for everything that had happened. Anders texted back quickly, telling you he was ‘totally stoked’ to hear the rest of the album.
You wanted to continue the conversation with him, trying to think of something to say to thank him for being so cool about everything, but you couldn’t wait any longer to call Harry. You had three calls from him that you’d missed while you were on the plane. Meaning he was already back in town. You held the phone up to your ear, the ring echoing in your sleepy head, as you pulled in front of the house.
His car was already there, though. Harry answered the phone just as you spotted the vehicle, immediately making your stomach turn.
“Hello beautiful.” He answered. You could hear music playing in the background, wherever he was. So far he didn’t sound like he was getting ready to tell you off, so that was a good sign.
“Are you in my house?” You asked him, barely waiting for the car to stop before jumping out of your seat. You moved to the back, waiting for the trunk to open.
“I’ll get them, ma’am,” The driver said, gesturing for you to step aside.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. Thank you!” You whispered back to him. He smiled, continuing to pull your bags out of the trunk anyway.
“I might be.” Harry answered cheekily. “Are you home?”
“I’m just grabbing my things now, yeah.”
You took the bags from the driver, insisting he didn’t need to bring them inside. You thanked him over and over again for his help before stumbling as quickly as you could with your arms full towards the house.
You still had the phone pressed to your ear as you walked through the door. It swung open, your bags getting caught on the frame before you forced yourself inside. Music filled the house, as well as the sound of something delicious happening in the kitchen. Harry ran around the corner, sliding into a pose dramatically.
“Surprise!” He yelled. You hung up the phone, shoving it into your pocket. You wanted to cry, seeing him for the first time in so long. You dropped your bags to the ground, running into Harry’s waiting arms. He lifted you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist.
“Oh my god, I missed you.” You told him, kissing his face and neck and hair at least a hundred times.
“I missed you more.” He said. He set you down onto the counter in the kitchen, standing between your parted legs. You both started to speak at the same time, each of you having a million things to share with the other.
“You first.” You said, pressing your face against his chest as he spoke.
“How was London?” He asked, rubbing his hands up and down your back. You felt like you had been wound up so tightly for days now, and finally being in his presence you were able to breath a little easier.
“It was good.” You told him. “I was just kind of lonely.”
“Logan wasn’t with you?”
“She was, she’s just been so weird lately. I dunno.”
“Hmm.” Harry mused, not seeming to concerned about it. “She’s moody.” He said.
“How was the shoot?” You asked him next. You looked up at him, admiring the way his stubble had returned to his jaw line. You kissed him on the chin as he told you all about his trip.
“I’m just happy to be back here.” He said finally, giving you a soft kiss on your lips. You both had been too excited to see each other that you hadn’t even kissed him yet. The feeling set your chest on fire.
“I missed that…” You told him. He agreed happily. You turned your attention to the mess in the kitchen. “Are you making something?”
“I figured you might be hungry after your trip so I attempted to make you some cookies.” He said, smiling shyly. You wanted to smoosh him, to eat him right up and kiss him a million times. He was the cutest you had ever seen. 
“You really didn’t have to do that, H,” You told him. His blush deepened at the use of your nickname for him.
There was an elephant in the room still that you weren’t sure how long you could avoid. He hadn’t said anything about it, so you were sure he just hadn’t listened to it yet. He was so calm, so happy. So sweet. You were tempted to just not say anything at all, not wanting to disrupt the calm waters around you. But you knew you had to. You had already waited this long, and you knew it was a mistake not to show Harry the song before it came out. There was no way to avoid it any longer.
“So….” You began anxiously, placing your hands on Harry’s chest in a sort of attempt to distract him. “Did you get a chance to listen to the new song yet?”
Harry smiled, taking your hands from his chest and kissing them both on the back of your fingers.
“Of course I did.” He answered. He didn’t say anything else. There was something off about this. Something was amiss here, you could sense it.
“Oh.” You said plainly. He kissed you again, harder this time. You were happy to accept it.
“So what did you think?” You asked him, pulling away. You couldn’t stand the silence you were getting from him, even if the silence was filled with his hands on your body. He pulled you off of the counter, turning you so that your back was too his front. He pressed himself against you, your stomach meeting the edge of the counter. Harry swept your hair away from your neck, placing soft kisses under your ear.
“It’s great.” He said. He was being so short in his answers. Usually he had a million things to say about the songs that you showed him. He was always so quick to shower you in praise, telling you you were so talented or so special or so interesting. He didn’t say anything though, only continuing his gentle assault on your neck. His hands gripped your waist, instantly making your body heat up.
“And you heard the interview? With Nick?” You continued.
“Mhmm..”
He hadn’t pulled his mouth away from your skin, his hands pulling your hips backward to press into him. You let out a gasp, feeling him hard behind you.
“Are you mad?” You asked him cautiously. You wanted to just let it go, to drop the subject entirely. But his lack of a reaction was even more overwhelming than his skin on yours.
“Did you think I would be mad?” He asked against your neck. Your heart pounded in your chest.
“I don’t know…”
Harry grabbed you by the face, turning you to look at him. He kissed you, needy and desperate. Okay. Maybe it could wait until later, then.
“I missed you..” He whispered into your mouth.
“I missed you more.” You promised him, knowing it was true. This was so far from what you were expecting, you didn’t know how to react. All you knew right now was that you needed him, desperately.
“How bad, hmm?” He murmured. He tugged on the waist of your sweats, letting them falls to the floor. You swallowed hard.
“So bad.” You said, gasping as his fingers traced your center over your panties. Your breath hitched in your throat. “Yeah?” He whispered wickedly behind you.
“I bet you missed me every night, huh? Alone in your hotel room…”
His fingers continued their slow movements. You knew you would have soaked through the fabric by now, unable to help the way your body reacted to Harry. You nodded your head.
“What did you do about it?” He egged you on further. Your face grew hot at the memory of you, laying in bed with your hands down the front of your pants. 
“You’re embarrassing me..” You whined. Harry removed his hands from you, turning your chin again so he could kiss you.
“I’m not trying to.” He promised, his tone less sultry now. “I just couldn’t help thinking about it. My pretty little sunflower, all alone…”
His words in your ear were almost too much to handle. Where was the screaming? Where were the tears, the apologies? If Harry was angry at you, he obviously had other things to address first. 
“Did you miss me, too?” You asked him. There was something about the way he was talking to you that made you want to disappear and hear more at the same time. Harry laughed gently, knowing exactly what you were asking.
“Everynight, love.” He answered.
“Oh wow.” You said, immediately feeling your knees grow weak. Jesus Christ. Harry laughed at your sheepish response, finding your embarrassment cute. You pictured it, Harry getting back to his room after a long day at work, thinking about you while he…
“Wouldn’t be the first time, to tell the truth.” He continued. You covered your face in your hands, giggling. You had never felt more mortified, your neck and ears burning. Harry’s hands found the hem of your underwear, pulling them slowly down until they fell to join your pants.
“Bend.” He said gently. His hand pushed eversosoftly on your back, leaning you forward onto the counter. You didn't fight him, moving exactly the way he wanted you to. 
“Is this okay?” He asked, his hands already working on his zipper. You nodded urgently.
“Is that a yes?” He said, refusing to continue until he heard you say it. It was heartwarming and sexy at the same time, Harry forcing you to tell him out loud that you wanted him before he would do anything to you.
“Yes.”
He pushed into you then, quicker than he had the last time you’d had sex. The sensation made you grip the edge of the counter, trying to steady yourself. There was nothing to compare this to, having yourself filled to the brim by him. It was like you couldn’t even remember being with anyone else, each time with Harry forcing every other memory out of your mind.
“Fuck, Harry..” You couldn’t help saying, grinding your teeth as your eyes screwed shut. This position put him the deepest he’d ever been in you, making you brace yourself with every thrust.
“You okay?” He asked behind you, his voice soft and sweet even when coated in pleasure. You nodded again, Harry continuing behind you. Your knees buckled, causing you to put all of your weight on the counter under you.
“Lion, hmm?” He asked suddenly, not slowing his pace. Your blood rushed through you, chilling instantly. You knew he had more to say about the song, you just didn’t expect it to be now. You were torn between feeling guilty and feeling him inside of you.
“I’m- I’m sorry.” You spit out against the counter, still holding on for dear life.
“Don’t say that.” He told you, his tone dissatisfied. “You don’t need to apologize for anything.”
He continued moving, your body barely able to handle him
“I bet you wanted the world to know about this, hmm? About me and you.”
Harry was relentless, making you gasp for air as the counter pressed the air out of you lungs. You didn’t know what to say to him, not able to form a clear thought to save your life. 
“That's alright. I don’t mind.”
You didn’t say anything, only able to focus on the way he felt. His hands dug harshly into your hips, pulling you back into him. He pulled out a few seconds later, warmth spreading across your bottom as he finished. You huffed, out of breath as Harry used a paper towel to wipe you clean. Harry pulled your clothes back up your legs, turning you and kissing you deeply.
“I’ve been thinking about that for a long time.” He said, satisfied. You were still out of breath and overwhelmed, only able to hum in agreement. “I love you so much.”
“I love you more than that.” You promised him.
The oven dinged, signaling the cookies were ready. You had forgotten all about them. Harry pulled them out, setting the tray on the stove. There was still so much to be said about everything, but Harry didn’t acknowledge that at all as he walked across the kitchen.
“These can cool while I take care of you,” He said. Your heart, which had just managed to begin beating normally, was instantly pounding again, knowing what was coming next.
///
“That was-” You said, breathless. Harry laid on his back next to you on the kitchen floor, breathing just as heavily as you.
“Uh-huh.” He agreed, giving you a peck. He’d put you onto the counter again, using his mouth to bring you just where you needed to go. One thing led to another after that, ending with you on top of Harry on the ground. You knees were sore from pressing against the hard tile of the kitchen, but you didn’t mind it.
“You wanna cookie?” Harry asked lazily. You nodded, Harry standing to grab one for the both of you. He changed his mind, setting them back down. “Let’s just take the tray, actually.”
You cuddled up together, putting on an episode of some TV show. Your eyes felt heavy almost instantly, Harry’s arm wrapped around your waist.
“Hey, H?” You asked, flipping over so you could see his face. He mumbled at you, shoving another cookie in his mouth. “Are you mad at me? Actually?”
“No, sunflower.” He said, swallowing. He kissed your forehead tenderly.
“But--”
“It’s okay. I get it.”
You furrowed your brows at him. Even if he wasn’t upset, he still didn’t have much to say about the song at all.
“You don’t seem like it’s okay.” You continued pushing, wanting him to say something.
“It just made me sad, is all.” He confessed. He didn’t meet your gaze now, his eyes trained on the TV.
“I told them not to release it. I wrote it before… before everything.” You pleaded with him. You felt like a villain, like you had committed the worst kind of crime.
“I wish you would have let me listen to it.” He said, finally looking down at you. The crease was set in stone between his brows. “I don’t even care what everyone is saying about it. I just would’ve liked to hear it first.”
So he had seen the comments too. You frowned.
“I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry.” He swore, kissing you on the forehead. “It’s not your fault that you wrote a fuckin’ incredible song about what a dickhead I am. It’s happened to me before, you know.”
He was smiling, reassuring you. You felt sick, imagining Harry adding another tally mark to his mental list of songs written about him. You weren’t like those other girls, though. You loved him, more than anything.
“No, no. It’s not like that Harry I swear.”
He laughed, bringing you into him.
“It’s fine, love. I’m just teasin’.”
“I still feel awful. I was going to show you, but then you had to leave and it just didn’t seem like a good time.” You paused, trying to justify yourself. “It’s okay if you’re upset.”
“This is what our job is. You can’t help that.”
“I’m still sorry.” You repeated, unable to think of anything else to say.
“Enough of that.” He said, kissing your lips to silence you. You could tell he was bothered, but he was being so sweet to you. You felt terrible, unable to fully understand how it must feel for him. He would never be able to escape all of the things that were said about him, ever. And you were only adding fuel to the fire. You hoped, for a split second, that he had written something equally as scathing about you for Fine Line. Something that would make you even.
“And like I said, I kind of like what people are saying.” He added, readjusting slightly so his head was propped on his fist. “I don’t mind everyone thinking I slept with the most beautiful girl in the world.”
He smiled wickedly at you, kissing your cheek. You blushed, looking up at him. It was almost worse that he wasn’t mad at you. It only made you feel worse.
It didn’t take many episodes before Harry was snoring behind you. You closed your eyes, sleeping soundly for the first time in weeks.
KEEP READING BESTIES!!!
123 notes · View notes
stxleslyds · 2 years
Text
DID ANYONE SAY GWEVIN?
I just sometimes need Gwevin content, you know? I might find it months after it is released by its creator but when I finally come across it, I am filled with nothing but joy.
Today I feel like writing down everything *Gwevin* that I have found so far, because while looking for something to watch in HBO max, I saw something super interesting. In the “coming soon” list, there was something that caught my eye. Ben 10: Ultimate Alien.
I was so happy and a little confused because almost every piece of Ben 10 content had already been uploaded to the platform but Alien Force and Ultimate Alien. Now, apparently, we will only be left without Alien Force, which is weird because AF came before UA, but I guess that in the end having UA is better that having none of them!
The show will arrive to HBO max on the fifth of February! So be on the lookout for that, @e-isha, I remember I had told you I would let you know as soon as I could about whether or not AF and UA would be available in Latin America, so yeah, UA will be here any moment now!
Moving on to other exciting stuff, I have found interesting content in YouTube.
There is a beautiful soul that has a compilation of 61 videos that have, exclusively, Gwen/Kevin moments from AF, Alien Swarm, UA and OV.
Their channel is called TheNostalgicKid and they are an amazing human being because I have had the time of my life watching everything they have collected in one amazing place.
Not only did they do that but they also made sure to make a playlist that plays every video in chronological order… I mean, they deserve all the views and all the love, so if you are like me, and you are a little late to that party (they began uploading in November 2021 and are now finished) go enjoy the lovely Gwen/Kevin moments that we have been offered!
Another YouTube channel that I came across recently is ren edits, they only have two videos but these videos are hilarious! They are compilations of the best Kevin Levin moments and they are a treat.
To Kevin’s amazing characterisation we have the wonderful edits of (presumably) ren, and they are a gift. The comedic timing the use of text and other things is just fantastic, so if you have time or are feeling down, I absolutely suggest you check their videos out!
I will link the videos here, Kevin Ethan Legend (part 1) and Kevin Ethan Legend (part 2)
And now for the big finale, some fic recommendations, and this time they are all coming from the amazing @hummusandpeeta.
Reading her fics is always a pleasure so I want to share them, in case there is someone like me who doesn’t seem to catch these things as soon as they drop!
We Need to Talk About Ben by HummusandPeeta
Gwen and Kevin have a serious discussion about Ben during one of the rare occasions he isn't with them. (Gwevin fluff).
What Happens Now? by HummusandPeeta
Set after the events of Absolute Power: Part 2, Kevin is left to face the consequences of his actions. He knows he's going to have to have some difficult conversations, but what happens after that?
TW: discussions of mental health.
Why Did You Stop? by HummusandPeeta
An unexpected friendship is formed between two kids living very different lives. Through the years, the letters exchanged between Gwen and Kevin come to mean a lot more than both of them ever thought possible. (No Powers AU)
Top of the List by HummusandPeeta
Christmas Eve should be joyful and relaxing, not spent trying to repair an old dorm room radiator that doesn't want to be fixed. Thankfully, Gwen is saved by a Christmas Miracle; and he’s the best plumber in town. (No Powers AU) (Gwevin fluff)
Blessed by a Witch by HummusandPeeta
Gwen, Ben, and Julie are attending the biggest Halloween party in Bellwood when they run into trouble. Luckily, a certain someone is there to save the day. (No Powers AU) (Gwevin fluff).
-
Listen, three out of five of these are AUs, and I almost always skip AUs, the amounts of adorable that these fics had going on though… off the roof!
Such amazing content! If you haven’t already, give HummusandPeeta some love because she deserves it!
That’s all the Gwevin and Ben 10 content that I have come across lately, I hope that you guys enjoy it as much as I did and if you had already been aware of it then… watch/read it again? I don’t know, you know what to do better than me…
Anyways, hope all of you have a great week!
55 notes · View notes
wizkiddx · 3 years
Note
hiiiii i love your stuff - could u do one where the readers ill but they have stuff to do and tom has to look after her. maybe if they were just friends before too but both pining? thankuuuuuuuuu
should I be writing this instead of revising? clearly fucking not. Did I make this little blurb req ridiculously long purely to procrastinate? Of fucking course.
but also this was v cute! I assumed u meant famous!reader, sorry if that's not what u were after at all anon x
summary: Tom Holland turns into the readers knight in shining armour when they get ill during promo
warnings: fainting / feeling ill
///////////////////
It couldn’t be today. Of all days, why today? You’d been at home for two weeks doing absolutely nothing, before this trip. And yet it’s when your itinerary is packed to the brim, people moving heaven and earth just speak to you. Two weeks of unrelenting press for Marvels next big ensemble movie. 
Your manager was speaking to you, reeling off a run down of todays activities but instead of listening you nodded along blankly - head rather cloudy with this heavy mist that was not shaking off, no matter how hard you tried. 
“You got that Y/n/n?” Lucy pointedly spoke, eyes almost physically knocking you backwards as if her eyeliner was battery rams. Fumbling with your thoughts, your answer wasn’t particularly cohesive earning you just a disappointed head shake. 
“I um… yeh I think. Who-who did you say I was paired up with?” 
“Y/n please for the love of god. Tom, like I said the past fifty times.” And to be fair to Lucy she wasn’t wrong. It was the first major major promo tour for the both of you and after just two days so far - you were both exhausted. She was more than allowed to be a bit short tempered. 
“But we-we hardly know each other? The chemistry won’t be there and-“
“As I said, I tried to re-jig it but Kevin is of the mind that acting is your job.” Her tone was sharp but as she glared across the opposing seats, in the little mini van Marvel had hired for you as transportation, her eyes softened. Lucy had been so wrapped up in her own stress she may have overlooked quite how gingerly you were sitting. By the time she had arrived at the hotel, your stylist had already managed to half save your ghoulish looking face, with sunken under eyes and tired skin, so it wasn’t so blatantly obvious how crap you were feeling.  “Is everything okay with you?” 
It felt pretty puny to say that the jet lag from flying to Tokyo had been weighing you down further than you wanted, or that the local cuisine top chefs had kindly prepared for you last night wasn’t siting well in your stomach. To be honest, even you thought it was just your body being a bit overdramatic. So in response, you put on your best happy-go-lucky face feigning a smile.
“No no I’m fine, just want to give the best interviews I can and you know…. I’m awkward as hell as it is, then pair me with the most talented actor that I share about two minutes of screen time with…it’ll be interesting.” 
The way Lucy reacted with a weird slow nod, eyebrows furrowed, meant it was quite apparent you had perhaps overplayed that one. Had you not been so over the day before it even began, you would’ve tried again to give a more believable act. But as you were, you turned your attention back out to the bustling streets of Tokyo and the high rise buildings bordering each pavement. 
You didnt have a problem with Tom, far from it in fact. Tom was hilarious and the times you had met him, you’d both built up this weird and sarcastic competitiveness with each other. It was a game of who could get the last laugh, each of you pushing each other with the Mickey taking just a little further. Of course, not in a malicious way, just the way you’d both lived pretty similar but parallel careers - when everyone drew comparisons between the both of you, it was nice to make it a joke. 
Like Tom you’d also started out on stage, had a ‘big break’ movie as a kid and then spent your teenage years on and off film sets - till marvel happened. Then everything blew up to epic proportions, changing your life forever. Actually, it was so similar to Tom’s story, plus the fact you were also from the south west of the UK. It was bizarre your paths hadn’t crossed more - He probably could’ve been a useful ally in the the whole ‘becoming famous’ thing. 
And yet, you could probably count on two hands the amount of conversations you’d had with him. 
Now that, that was the issue. Right from the beginning you learn what the press want and when you are publicising a movie you cater into it too. They’d all be asking for the insider scoop on set; what pranks you’d pulled on each other; what was the most annoying thing about each other. Which is hard if you’d only had 5 or 6 days actually on set together. 
By the time the cab had wormed its way through the Tokyo traffic and you arrived at the PR hotel, it was already 9:30 - making you 15 minutes late (blame it on the traffic). Instantly then you were ushered straight to the interview room for the evening, no chance of green room chat or grabbing a drink before. The place was stuffy, everything was draped with black curtains except the poster board that Tom was already sitting infront of. 
He’d scrubbed up well, no doubt about it. He was wearing statement-ish burgundy suit trousers, teamed with a black knitted but collared shirt thing - that was clearly tailor made for the man. As soon as he noticed you scurry into the room, his face broke out into a warm smile, jumping up to greet you in a friendly hug. It was brief, and as you pulled back you accidentally bumped your head on one of the overhanging lights. No doubt someone had spent a ridiculous amount of time configuring them so they were positioned perfectly, which you had just ruined with your big head. 
“Oh shit!” Tom just laughed in response, shaking his head slightly as he lead you the two steps across to your pre-positioned seats. 
“Making an entrance as always I see!”
“Yeh, you know me, a bit of chaos just to keep everyone on their toes.”
“Oh is that why you’re ‘fashionably late’” With a playful wiggle of his eyebrows, you just rolled your eyes, fidgeting on the chair to find a position that didnt aggravate  your stomach so much.
“I’m ready now though! What did I miss? Just having to pretend to be your friend for 15 minutes?” You stressed the words as though the thought of conversation with Tom was the absolute worst thing in the world - which you definetly didnt think. Scowling like you’d insulted his dog Tessa, it was almost visible how the cogs were turning in his head looking for a comeback. Unfortunately for him though, he was quickly shut up but the organiser bringing the first interviewer in . 
For what would, no doubt, be a long day. 
////
Everything had started off so well, the banter was flowing between you and Tom, no major spoilers revealed that meant Marvel would have to make the journalist disappear. It was once you hit an hour of back-to-back interviews that everything started to crack bit. Because yes, it had only been an hour but that was enough to exhaust you on this particular day. When Tom joked around you got slower and slower, similarly the  energy was zapped from your own answers. It’s not very compelling when someone says ‘you have to watch this movie’ in a monotonous voice with sullen eyes. 
As the interviewers were swapping in and out, Tom actually lightly nudged your shoulder.
“Everything alright? We’re trying to sell tickets and you’ve got a face like thunder.”
“Oh no-no sorry I just, I-um.”
“You want some water?” Now looking at your with more concerned eyes, as if he was just nervous he’d actually offended you for calling you a boring bastard. And you would’ve picked up on it and alleviated his concerns, if it weren’t for the fact your eyes were glued on the water bottle he was holding out to you. You were thirsty. You knew that, that wasn’t the conundrum. What you weren’t so sure about was whether your stomach would accept it, or more violently reject it. In a very non ‘we’re-trying-to-sell-a-movie’ style. 
But the lightheaded fogginess in your brain won out, as you nodded jerkily, taking the bottle and taking a little swig - too cautious to take anymore. 
Now concerned with how Tom thought you were being a Debby-downer too, you managed to perk yourself up for the next four interviews. They were easy, asking questions without any activity and though you did rely on Tom beefing out and adding to your answers, it was okay. Then the next interviewer came in, who you recognised as being from the BBC, Ali Plumb, that had interviewed you a number of times. From the way Tom jumped up to give him afirendly bro-hug, you guessed he also was familiar with him. As soon as he took a seat the cameras were already flashing with the red light, demonstrating his 7 minutes had already started. 
“Guys! It’s been a while.” 
“How are you Ali?” You started it off with the pleasantries, Tom echoing, before the speccy dirty-blonde asked his first question. 
“So the last time I spoke to you guys the universe was in chaos, Peter Parkers on the run and Aurora Blake was trying to strip her own powers, so I guess my first question is how are you both doing? We can use this as a therapy session if you guys need.” His very typical nerdy joke made Tom laugh, nodding as he leaned forward and repositioned a bit. 
You didn’t share the same humour though, more focused on this invisible blanket of stuffiness that seemed to have been thrown on top of you. It made you feel groggy, incredibly hot and so unbelievable nauseous. The lights weren’t helping either, it felt like you were pouring with sweat from your forehead. You thought Tom was answering Ali, even if you couldn’t really hear  - everything had merged into a deafening roar. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, unconsciously making you fumble yourself to standing, desperate to get somewhere with fresh air. The last thing you saw before your vision tunnelled into darkness was Tom, reaching out to try and catch you. 
Because next thing you knew, you were on the floor, wires from all the cameras and lights digging into your back as you looked up to see Tom on one side and Lucy on the other - both wearing a similarly panicked expression. You knew you hadn’t been out long, seconds if that, going by the fact everyone else was in the ‘oh my god’ phase of panic. It was a bit weird how calm you where, but then again all your life you’d been the ‘class fainter’. Waking up on the floor was something you were long since used to. 
“Y/n? You awake?” Rather stating the obvious Tom asked the question as you bent your head up - allowing you sight of all the concerned facing oggling you. With a defeated sigh, you flopped your head back. 
“If this is a dream then it’s a real bloody nightmare.” This time Tom didnt seem to appreciate your joke, looking at you without almost dumbfounded eyes, as you blinked repetitively and groaned. 
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Lucy appeared to want to lecture you, which to be honest wasn’t the most time appropriate. You were still on the floor, legs crumpled up under you, so ignored her. Instead you pulled yourself up into a sitting position, taking a moment to blink away the blotchy haze that threatened to takeover your vision once again, whilst the pair above you both cautiously rested their palms on each of your shoulders -trying to be useful. The room still felt cramped and stifling, as everyone around were no doubt looking at you. 
It took a few minutes but your body seemed to get over itself, sitting up normally and trying to make small talk with Ali - who, by the way, was still sat awkwardly in the chair. Still nestled on the floor, your back up against the chair you had been siting on as you raved with Ali of the Harry Potter theatre show. In a natural lull in conversation, Tom perked up - from the door where he’d been muttering with the organiser as Lucy bit her nails nervously. 
“Y/n you need to go home.” 
All of you knew what Tom said was impossible. Not being egotistical, but you were too important. Although you hadn’t been paying masses of attention for Lucy’s run down of your itinerary - you knew it was packed. 
So you just looked up and rolled your eyes at Tom, earning yourself a strong glare, before locking the organiser in eye contact.
“How many have we got till lunch?” 
“Um this gent here” He gesturned toward Ali, who was almost squirming in his seat now “then two more.”  
“And then lunch?” 
“Yes, then you have a personal appearance at a dinner, so transport will be coming to pick you both up.” This poor guy seemed obsessed with the clock and his timetable, looking at your with a mixture of panic and frustration. You should know this stuff, you should’ve listened to Lucy. 
“How fars the drive?” 
“At this time probably an hour and a half.” 
The plan was clear in your head, you’d sort yourself out in the car and be fully fine by the afternoon and evening engagements. Plus you felt almost fine now. So with a sigh, you hauled yourself up onto the chair, patting for Tom to sit back down. 
“It’s half an hour and then I’ll sort myself out at lunch - come on their waiting.” The way Lucy pouted showed she disagreed somewhat, except a stern look kept her from protesting, as Tom walked toward you. 
“Are you sure you don’t loo-“
“Let me stop you before you insult my appearance.” Snickering slightly at his worried face, you laughed it off , knocking his side with a gentle murmur of ‘don’t worry about me’. 
In fact after that little episode you did feel a little recovered, which meant you were properly noticing the change in the boy sat next to you. Throughout the remaining three interviews he’d done a complete 360 from earlier. Rather than trying to get little digs at you, he had become fiercely protective - jumping in if a questions wasn’t particularly appropriate or relevant to the movie ( meaning when an awfully crap man asked what underwear you’d been able to wear in your suit) ; taking the heat of the conversation as well as just watching you like a hawk. Each time you answered his beady brown eyes were watching you from the side, you got the impression it wasn’t only just because of the risk of spoilers. 
Quite remarkably, you survived the rest of the day pretty well, after a power nap in the car on the way over - even if it was a bit difficult when you had your manager watching you like a hawk from the seat across. It was as if Lucy had never seen anyone ill before, she seemed concerned that you were going to spontaneously stop breathing and die at any point. 
Though by the time all the official business at the dinner was done, your body and willpower had reached the end of their tether. You and Tom were both on a round table, surrounded by 6 CEOs and execs of what seemed to be a multimillion pound business enterprise. With the language barrier meaning you had to speak through the two people on the table who were fluent in both japanese and English, the conversation was already pretty jilted. Though to be fair, the six did seem to be enjoying the evening - something you werent able to reciprocate. Thankfully, five minutes after the main course dishes had been collected, Tom spoke up from his position opposite you.
“This has been lovely and we really appreciate your time and generosity but me and Y/n have a really early start tomorrow so I think we should probably get back to the hotel.” You swore in that moment you could’ve kissed him, and it looked like Tom could tell - by the way your shoulders sagged and you let out an exhale of pure relief. Apparently even if you’d managed to convince the hosts you were enjoying the evening, Tom easily saw through the performance. After some hurried goodbyes, Tom led you out of the hall with his hand hovering over your lowerback, trying to make sure your exit was as discreet as possible. 
Away from the bubble of chatter and activity, in the deserted hallway, Tom stopped you - lightly holding both hands on each of your arms. 
“Wheres your team?” 
“Um Luce is back at the hotel, she was trying to see if she could reschedule any of my stuff tomorrow.” You winced at the way he sighed, realising you were all on your own in some random business event hall in Tokyo.
“Harry -my brother- is waiting in the car at the front - is that okay?”
“No Tom, don’t worry abo-“
“Yeh well I am and I think you feel ten times worse than you’re letting on.” He spoke harshly, like a school teacher telling you off - except the hint of a kind smile at the end was a dead giveaway. 
“You sure?” 
With a relieved nod (Tom had thought you might be a bit more stubborn - you obviously were really really ill) he wordlessly shrugged his suit jacket off, wrapping it round your shoulders. He muttered something about not wanting you to catch a chill but to be quite honest you were a bit distracted by the woody cedar smell of Toms aftershave that enveloped your senses. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being fussed on by him? To be fair he wasn’t wrong either, you were in a strapless evening dress - you would’ve preferred to be in joggers, but Marvels press team had other ideas. 
After a quick pit stop at the toilets, the two of you managed to make an unnoticed escape out the building - into a big SUV which had seconds prior pulled up onto the steps. You literally melted into the nearest window seat, body hunching over as you probably crumpled Tom’s jacket beyond belief. 2 seats along from you, a frizzy haired boy gave you a sympathetic smile, which you returned weakly whilst muttering a ‘hi’. Meanwhile, Tom pulled the sliding door shut, sitting across from you. 
“Oh Y/n this is Harry and Harry this is Y/n.” In unison both of you replied with an ‘I know’ eye roll. Your response was somewhat more shocking to both Holland boys, you could tell from the way they had this whole nonverbal conversation with their eyes - they were very clearly brothers. Needing to explain you continued. “I like to keep tabs on my castmates, I’ve seen you on Toms instagram.” That had both boys smirking, Harry presumably just because you knew who he was; Tom more smugly, you’d just given away you slightly stalked him on instagram. 
Silence reigned for a moment, as the driver put his foot down slightly. 
“How you doing?” Tom asked. 
“Mhm…” you thought for a second, how to eloquently describe the sensation. 
“shit.” 
Both boys chuckled a little and even though you had closed your eyes in an attempt to dull the throbbing behind your temples, you could feel the eyes on you. 
“You want the music off?” Harry asked, referring to the indie-rock coming quietly out the speakers of his laptop, which was resting on his lap. With a shake of your head you refused, even if really silence probably would help your head, you were already causing the two Hollands enough trouble - no need to bore them during the journey back into central Tokyo, especially when you weren’t the most enthusiastic company ever. 
Thankfully the music stayed on a low volume, whilst the car seemed to settle into a comfortable silence. With a long exhale you fluttered your eyes open, seeing Tom focused on his phone, before you rested the side of your head against the black-out glass. Taking some relief from the cool glass, you huddled further into the corner of the car against the door.
Floating in the space between sleep and wakefulness, you were kind of aware of your head occasionally bobbing and jerking about - but really didn’t have the energy or willpower to do anything about it. Instead, the thing that perked your attention was hearing some supposed-whispering from inside the body of the car.
“I know she said she didn’t care but she was clearly lying-“ 
“Like you know! You’ve been desperate to try and spend some time with Y/n- maybe you poisoned her just so you could be all knight-in-shini-“
“Turn. The. Music. Off.” Tom sounded scathing now, and with a grumble from your other-side the cheery drum beats ceased.
“Happy now?” …and Harry was sarcastic. 
“Swap places with me.”
“What?”
“Just do it.”
“Why?”
“So she can lie down.” 
“Well no because you would still be in the way if we swapped.”
“Yeh but she can lie on my lap idiot.”
“She can lie on me.”
“She doesn’t know you!”
“Well for 1, barely ten minutes ago she said she did know me. And 2, she doesn’t know you any better!”
If this was their version of whispering, you would love to hear what volume ‘shouting’ was. There was no reply for a short while, you imagined the two brunettes locked in some intense staring match.The next time Tom spoke he sounded more defeated - almost begging. 
“If I admit you beat me at the driving range the other day will you-” 
“I KNEW IT!” Harry yelped, the volume making you jerk, eyes flying open before reflexively closing because the light was too bright. There was a little mutter of an apology, then silence again. 
Once agin you must’ve drifted off because it felt like absolutely no time had passed when a firm but gently hand on your shoulder nudged you awake. 
Sure enough the boys had swapped position, Tom now sitting along the seat from you, Harry looked a little sulky from across the way. It was Tom who was reaching over, a gentle and peaceful smile on his face.
“You wanna lie down? Don’t want you to strain your neck.” He wasn’t wrong, adding to the throbbing headache, the cloudiness in your brain and the unsettled feeling in your stomach… now your neck hurt. Just bloody great. 
Had you been your normal witty and perceptive self, you might’ve teased Tom as to why him and his brother had done a switch - but everything hurt and all you wanted to do was sleep for a hundered years. So with squinting eyes you jerkily nodded, missing how Tom chuckled to himself. The guy undid your seatbelt, then sat back to let you balance the back of your head on his thigh, looking up at the roof of the SUV. Already your eyes were closed again, you kicked off your slip-on heels and bent your legs up to lean against the backrest - occupying the position you had been sat in before hand. You felt his hands reposition the jacket, pulling it round so it was now like a blanket tucked under your chin. 
To be fair it was much more comfortable than sitting up and you weren’t even aware of how quickly you dropped back into sleep. 
Though it wasn’t quick enough to miss Harry’s very sulky sounding comment, presumably meant only for Tom’s ears. 
“Still think you’re being fucking creepy bro.” 
<33 lemme know what u think! (would make me feel less guilty for not doing all the work I rlly should be doing aha)
tagging : @hallecarey1 @crossyourpeter @hollandfanficlove
399 notes · View notes
I really wanna hear Neil and co. speak German. So have some German hcs
"Neil was fluent in German" and I think that's very sexy of him. I bet he doesn't really have an accent because he probably had to stay stealth in Europe and therefore perfected his accent. But I think if you listen closely you might hear how he still slightly struggles with our R and CH.
He can do a Swiss accent, which is hilarious.
I'd love it if he used Austrian words instead of the German versions! (I'm Austrian, let me have this) Imagine Neil addressing a rude reporter with "Oida" cause he's just done with them.
Dan asks him to translate that but he somehow can't find a good translation for it. (Because I can't)
I am aware that he doesn't know memes but "Bruder, muss los" (basically Ight I'mma head out) is his entire situation.
Nicky would call him "Dicka/ Digga" (dude) cause they're jocks.
And I'm begging for Neil to call Drew "Schatz" (darling; lit. treasure) just ONCE. He'd get a glare in return but I feel like Andrew would secretly gay panic.
Nicky's accent would be good, pure high German, since he's studied it for a long time and Erik gave him good experience. I bet they love hearing each other speak German and Erik is super supportive.
S*x happens in English tho because German dirty talk sounds DISGUSTING.
Der/die/das Nutella? They start fighting and betting until they think to ask Erik, who doesn't know it either but joins in on the discussion because he's highly opinionated on the topic. They're yelling, team bonds are being destroyed. The other Foxes think they've finally lost it.
Neil refuses to say "Schulz". Andrew considers breaking up with him about this but has a reputation to uphold so he pretends to dislike that rule as well.
Erik would show Nicky the movie "Schuh des Manitu" to culture him and they'd jam to The Superperforator Commercial because it is indeed a timeless bop.
Aaron and Andrew definitely have an accent. Apparently they have strong vocab because they use big words. I can imagine them struggling with articles and grammar tho. Andrew not so much because of his eiditic memory ofc.
Aaron wonders why tf "bitte", "so!" and "tja..." are being used in so many different contexts.
Nicky keeps a list of strange German words like Handschuhe (gloves, lit. hand shoes) and Kabelsalat (lit. cable salad) because he finds them funny.
One day Aaron behaves unusually upset and when Nicky asks him about it he says that he's mad that Haribo does NOT make him happy. Nicky joins in on being upset now. Andrew is in the back eating Haribo, unimpressed. The artificial flavours hit different that day.
manic!Andrew will directly translate German expressions like "How much clock is it?" or even worse "This is sausage to me". It annoys everyone. Most of all me.
Aaron mixing up the ways to say Why. When do you use which one? Ugh screw it, just say "warum".
When is it ss and when is it ß? Do it randomly, it is now süss and müßen (technically not wrong but you sound like a boomer)
Neil: Paradeiser (Austrian word for tomato)
Andrew: Tomate (German word for tomato)
Neil: -.-
Andrew: nobody fucking says Paradeiser ketchup!
Neil: Erdapfel (potatoe)
Andrew: that sounds horrible. It's Kartoffel.
Neil: Gelse (mosquito)
Andrew: it's Mücke
Neil: okay but get this... Polster (pillow)
Andrew: I will murder you
Nicky calling the shorter foxes Knilch, Schlingel and other cute, stupid expressions for which he gets ignored. Once he says "Füchschen" (little fox) to Andrew and that's when he snaps :)
"Stop! It all stays as it is, whether you're here or not!", Nicky yells. Neil looks very tired. It's one of these rare moments, in which he makes eye contact with Aaron and in that second, only that second, they feel a deep connection based on shared inner pain.
Anybody could be Manuel Neuer at this point and it is driving them crazy.
Aaron messes up and says "schwul" (gay) instead of "schwül" (humid) and Nicky laughs really hard at him.
Whenever one of them uses the Dativ instead of Genitiv the others immediately jump in and correct him. "It's wegen+Genitiv, you moron!!"
German jam sessions in the car on their way to Columbia. "Ich muss durch den Monsun, hinter die Welt" and "Du sitzt im Maserati Mercedes und siehst aus wie ein Loser", throw in some Trailerpark and Bausa too. They have a whole playlist with different artists and all the iconic songs. Kevin is suffering, as always.
Something is in the street and one of the boys yells "umfahren!" (run it over/ drive around it) but Nicky doesn't know which one is meant so they awkwardly swerve while screaming.
Aaron knows that German anime openings are the best. One piece, Digimon, you name it. They use anime as a form of confrontational therapy for Kevin. The two of them would watch an anime in Japanese with German subtitles.
Nicky once accidentally addressed manic!Andrew with "Sie" (formal you) instead of "du" (informal you) and Aaron would mock him going "Ihr" (very formal you) and "Eure Majestät" (your majesty) so Andrew is like "That's right, Riko can leave, I'm king now", which actually gets a little laugh out of Aaron. Nicky is really happy that they had a brief bonding moment.
"Alles bäm?", Nicky asked. In that moment Neil could've sworn he was back on German soil with his mom, drinking the clearest water, while making his way down to Stuttgart. "Läuft", he responds blinking tears away. He hadn't thought anything besides torture could make him cry.
Aaron calls Riko "Hurensohn" (son of a bitch; very common insult) once and at some point teaches Kevin how to say it.
Andrew's famous "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you" (Das heißt nicht, dass ich dir nicht einen blasen würde) in German sounds kinda nasty imo. But Neil's shocked "You like me?" (Du magst mich?) is honestly pretty cute.
When they're in Germany Erik once makes a stupid reference "Warum liegt da Stroh?" (Why is there straw lying around?), which is a porn reference that somehow everyone in Germany knows, even if they haven't watched it. He is surprised when, of all people, Aaron is the one who reacts with "Why are you wearing a mask?", who now has to hastily explain that in high school German class someone mentioned it and he wanted to know what it meant so he unwisely looked it up.
Erik sends Kinder Surprise Eggs to Andrew to earn his trust.
Nicky makes up stupid German sayings. "You know in situations like this they say This is really flipping my pancakes right now but at least the pigs fly high". Neil thinks it sounds fishy but doesn't know for sure because German expressions are weird so he doesn't say anything. The others just have to believe it. One day Andrew brings it up in front of Erik to impress him but Erik just blinks at him in confusion. Andrew is angery. Nicky has to hide for the rest of the day.
+Bonus
Matt finds their German conversations very fascinating and asks for a few words. Neil makes him say "Eichhörnchen" (squirrel) but Matt fails miserably.
495 notes · View notes
Note
I'm really in need of some Bon x reader content, think you can help me with that please? 🥺
Ofc! Also sorry it took so long I've been pretty busy.)
You smiled to yourself as you stared at the key on your nightstand. You couldn't believe you had actually gotten the job! Memories of Bon's Burgers flooded your mind and you enjoyed the sweet nostalgia. You had loved Bon's growing up and would do whatever you could to go there up until it had closed. It broke your heart when your parents told you that you could no longer go there. Yet here you were years later helping with the relocation project. You couldn't wait to see all the characters after all this time! Especially Bon considering the fact that he was your favorite when you were younger.
You knew that the animatronics definitely wouldn't be in the best shape due to how long it had been though. That made you a little nervous. Just how bad have they been damaged then? Would they even be repairable? Questions similar to that plagued your mind when you really began to think about it but you tried your best to think positively on the matter. You have taken the job as an engineer helping mend the poor things so you remained confident in your abilities. How hard could fixing up a few of the animatronics be? Plus you'll have help with them too.
After a rather uncomfortably long ride you finally found the storage unit and your co-workers were waiting outside. You apologized for being late and explained that you had a hard time finding the place. They seemed to understand and were okay with it. There were two girls and a guy, there names were Ashley, Hilary, and Kevin. Apparently they've known each other for awhile and they were all pretty happy to be working together. You found it odd that you had to record everything but you accepted it. Once you guys had finally gotten inside you began to look for where exactly they had set you up to work. They had found it pretty quickly and your heart seemed to drop when you saw the condition of the showstoppers.
They looked so broken down and you were beginning to doubt if you would actually be able to get them to function. None the less you got to work hoping that some how it wasn't as bad as it looked. After awhile you began to realize that the chances of actually saving them were very slim but you refused to stop working. They were just to dear to you for you to be able to give up. Soon enough it was time for you guys to get some rest. You begrudgingly agreed and followed the group back to where you guys had set up your sleeping bags. Once you finished prepping yourself you laid in the cocoon like bag waiting for the others to fall asleep.
You knew you still had a few more days to work on them but you just couldn't bring yourself to rest during this time. Once you were certain everyone was asleep you returned to the e room with a flashlight and you were ready to continue working on Bon. You noticed almost immediately that something was wrong. Bon wasn't sitting in that position when I left...maybe one of them moved him? His new position put you on edge. It felt as though he was staring right at you. You quickly got rid of the thought and returned to your primary focus, repairing Bon.
It had been about an hour or two since you started working on Bon. You were getting nowhere and it was beginning to stress you out. How did he get so damaged? Wasn't this place built to prevent them from being broken down like this? None of it made sense to you. You sighed in frustration before looking back up at Bon. You decided that you might find a little bit of comfort in him. As mentioned before he was your favorite character after all. You climbed on top of him and straddled his waist before wrapping your arms around his upper torso. It had actually helped to your surprise and you began to relax. That is until you felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around you to return the favor.
142 notes · View notes
Text
All fans are equal but some are more equal than others. NOT.
There’s been quite a few people in the fandom lately getting very stressed, feeling they’re obligated to constantly be on the defensive re: their fandom choices.
Apparently, whoever has a different opinion about a character or a ship must be said character’s/ship’s stan i.e. overzealous and/or obsessive, i.e. not an objective viewer. Even worse, they must be a dreadful person, who condones a number of moral offences that said character/ship perpetrated (or is thought to have perpetrated). Because, of course, the only acceptable reason for appreciating/enjoying a fictional character or dynamic is their morality. And, by that reasoning, fans who support the correct character/ship must be better fans and better people.
Nothing is more ridiculous than the notion of the objective fan. An “objective” fan is called a “viewer”. You and I, Riverdale friends, we are not just viewers. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have created blogs and dedicated hours of our lives to a fictional couple from an extremely mediocre show. We are still undoubtedly capable of critical thought and objective analysis but we are also aware of our own emotional investment in the show. (Or, at least, one hopes). As a fandom, we engage in activities that exist independently of the show. Fandom is a space of free expression. No one gets to play the higher moral card here. Needing to loudly tell everybody how wrong they are? That’s not the sign of an objective viewer. That’s the sign of a viewer who is also extremely invested, just for different reasons than I am.
Are we seriously holding the morality card over people’s heads for a show that used a poc woman’s pregnancy (Toni) as the means to retroactively establish trauma for a white male (Kevin), all the while touting it in every media possible as a woke response to the BLM movement?!
Are we seriously holding the canon card over people’s heads for a show that treats its 5th(!) season as a tabula rasa?! If the Lodges new backstory in 5x12 shows anything, it’s that s5 is not a time-jump. It’s a reboot.
There are so many people “enlightening” others on their inability to understand canon …
Seriously? That’s the hill you’re willing to die on? Canon Riverdale? You think that people don’t understand what they’re watching? That they’re interpreting canon incorrectly?
No, but seriously: canon for a TV show consists of what the characters say, what the characters do and how the actors portray them. Does this really apply to Riverdale?
Let’s take Donna for example.
Canon explicitly tells us Donna did what she did to avenge her grandmother. At the same time none of her canon actions were against the people who were actually responsible. So, riddle me this, fandom friends: why did Donna do what she did, as per canon?
Let’s try this another way:
Donna is a psycho bitch. Both in terms of Riverdale’s canon (the writers’ intention) and real-life criteria. To create a tag that reads “Bonna for ever uwu!” is deranged.
On the other hand, her character is (like a lot of Riverdale’s characters) an inconsistent caricature. Canon uses ridiculous dialogue and a lot of the Bonna scenes are cartoonishly enemies-to-lovers tropey. To create a tag that reads “Bonna for ever uwu!” is hilarious.
This doesn’t mean that Bonna is a canon couple. It does mean, however, that a Bonna crackship is based on Riverdale’s campy and over-the-top canonic writing.
A viewer who thinks Bonna is disgusting is not more “objective” or more “correct” or more “true to canon” than a viewer who thinks Bonna is funny. Nor are they a better person for it, and this cannot be stressed enough.
Similarly, who is canon Cheryl?
1. Cheryl is an absolute bitch: if a privileged student was calling an actual homeless boy a hobo in your real-life school, you would neither think her a queen nor use “hobo” affectionately in your tags, comments etc.
2. Cheryl is a deeply traumatized person: her father killed her brother, her mother killed half the town and forced her in conversion therapy, she attempted suicide and more.
(Note #1: this more does not mean more than the other Riverdale characters).
(Note #2: nor is it an excuse for her rudeness, affectionately called “mood for chaos” by the writers).
3. Cheryl is also a caricature of the archetypal mean girl who’s there for laughs and meta comments. She’s not to be taken seriously.
4. Cheryl is lgbtq+ representation …
5. … who canonically shits on other lgbtq+ characters.
6. Cheryl is one half of Choni, who are canonically presented as an uber couple.
7. Choni is also, as per canon, a couple with an acute power imbalance (cough!gaslighting!cough) that visually very clearly panders to the male gaze.
But most importantly:
8. Cheryl canonically is not the sum of her parts. The different facets of her character do not intermingle in any meaningful way.
Was Betty kissing Archie specifically a sore spot for Jughead?
Canonically no [2x14]. But, also, canonically yes [5x03, 5x10].
Are there seriously fans that are astonished that Betty is making some highly questionable choices while investigating?! Did they just discover Dark™Betty/Killer Genes Betty? That is canon Betty! Was it ok before because she was then smooching Jughead instead of giving him the cold shoulder? Honestly, the only newly outrageous part of s5Dark™Betty is the fact that she still believes in “killer genes” despite having spent 4 years at Yale …
As for liking/disliking Betty and morality …
Look, I’m going to be very honest: I am NOT particularly enjoying s5 Betty. And it’s not because of b*rchie.
S5 Betty has 99 problems but the sexcapades ain’t one.
For me, it’s the fact that she’s turned into s1 Alice 2.0. But surely that’s not news either? Ever since the first info about the time jump, everyone and their mother have been speculating about the teens becoming their parents …
Just because Jughead is better written (and written to be more likable), it doesn’t make him more worthy of redemption. Just because the writers are keeping Betty’s redemption “secret” (insert eye roll) for their big reveal in the season’s penultimate episode, it doesn’t mean she won’t have one.  
Simply put, the writers have made Jughead more likable. He’s still the underdog. He’s the only character in Riverdale actively trying to deal with his trauma, since the very first post-time jump episode (working at Pop’s explicitly to fend off the debt collectors). He has scenes with a new and extremely likable character (Tabitha). He has the only new plot line (the Mothman). Said plotline is narratively already tied to both his unknown past and the town’s destruction by Hiram. His behaviour is explicitly explained, even as his recent trauma remains unknown. He’s transparent.
In comparison, s5 Betty is traumatized but not the underdog. Her trauma (TBK killer) is both known to us and a repetition of previous storylines, which makes it narratively less exciting. She is completely disconnected from any other storylines. She comes out as being judgmental and self-interested: telling Tabitha Jughead’s not her business while previously accepting his help? Berating Polly for lying while not keeping in touch and lying about her own life (TBK)? Please note: I’m not saying there isn’t a reason behind her behaviour, just that it comes out in a negative way.
You don’t like Betty’s current behaviour? You don’t consider trauma a good enough excuse? Cool.
You feel sorry for what she’s going through? You consider trauma to be a valid explanation for her behaviour? Also cool.
Personally, I don’t give a flying fig, either for Betty’s trauma or Jughead’s. Because, even though Trauma™ is s5’s actual mystery plot, narratively speaking, trauma never affected the plot of the past 4 seasons, nor s5 trauma will affect future plots, once revealed. And you know what? That is also cool.
None of the above is better.
And just because I’m not enjoying Betty right now, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want her to overcome her current situation or that I won’t cheer for Bughead like a River Vixen on fizzle rocks, once they reunite.
This thing though, where people are made to feel as if they owed anyone in the fandom an explanation about why they like the things they like, because, somehow, their preferences are a reflection on their character or their cognitive abilities to read a TV show? This is a joke.
There is no “wrong” way to consume any show, let alone Riverdale, with its fractured format, its short-term memory and its see-sawing characters.
Look, everybody’s here for their own reasons. For most people this is a place of escape. No one’s escaping better than the other, because of how they enjoy their teen TV show ... 
56 notes · View notes
kariachi · 1 year
Text
Random: As y’all know I write Kev as trans because nobody can stop me I am the god of this blog, and normally I have him having done the whole ‘I am a dude’ thing pre-OS because, well, canon exists, but sometimes, just sometimes, the image of an AU wherein that wasn’t the case comes to mind. Wherein the ‘I am a dude’ thing happens between OS and AF. Multiple images in my head-
The Tennysons hear Labrid say the name Levin, and there’s the dark hair, the crime, and they’re just sharing looks over Labrid’s head like ‘is this a relative? is this a family trend?’ only for it to slowly sink in as more and more of the crimes he lists become familiar and by the time he’s run off to start shit their eyes are blown wide and you can see them going back and changing pronouns in their memories
Same as the above except they don’t catch on until after that first fight, while they’re wondering what Kev’s problem is and Kev is pissed they apparently forgot him until it sinks in for him that ‘oh, yeah, I still thought I had to be a girl back then...’ and for them that ‘oh, oh this is not a different Levin’ and it’s just incredibly awkward on both sides, counterbalanced with Labrid being completely oblivious to literally everything except the job at hand
The Tennysons aren’t paying attention and so miss Labrid’s naming and crime listing, and Kevin’s attacking Ben is less blatantly a ‘we’ve got beef’ thing, and so they manage to just completely miss that they know him, Kevin spends episodes incredibly confused about why they’re acting like he’s just some other criminal they’re dealing with and not, ya know, somebody who tried to murder them brutally, only to eventually realize that between transing his gender, and using other facets of his powers, and how little they saw of his actual shape rather than his chimeric form they do not know he’s the same person, leading to this being the most drama-riddled image as he then has to decide whether to inform them of the situation and risk all the shit that could come from that (bonus points if Argit is sat there suggesting he not specifically because he finds the Tennysons not having a clue hilarious)
All of them are fantastic in their own special way. You can also mix-and-match by having one Tennyson figure it out before the other. Or instead of the other. Ben having to pull Kevin aside to ask if it’s okay if he pulls Gwen aside and explains the whole situation could make for an amazing plotline for a filler episode.
19 notes · View notes
blossom-hwa · 3 years
Text
Skipping Stones - KEVIN
This was the second full scenario I ever finished for The Boyz and I think it was pretty nice to start with some soft Kevin :D THANK YOU KAI FOR LETTING ME YELL TO YOU ABOUT THIS ONE I HOPE IT LIVES UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS. 
Anyway! Happy (slightly early but only by a couple hours??) birthday to one of the best boys in the world, the one and only wonderful beautiful lovely Kevin Moon! I hope you all enjoy this <3 please reblog if you did!
Pairing: Kevin x gender neutral!reader
Genre: fluff, teacher!au
Triggers: cursing, alcohol
Word Count: 7.8k
Falling in love with you, Kevin thinks, is a bit like skipping stones. 
Alternatively:
Five times Kevin felt himself falling deeper in love with you, and the one time he knew he was gone.
TBZ Masterlist | Touching Stars | Breathe, and Live
Tumblr media
prelude.
Kevin knows he exists to be clowned. His sister says it’s something about his face – there’s something undeniably meme-y about his reactions, apparently, that makes him very clownable. His students tell him it’s in his demeanor – he comes off as pretty chill, according to them, which makes him easy to tease because they know he’ll react in some hilarious way, but it won’t affect him too deeply.
(Changmin just says he’s stupid, which makes him clownable to the highest degree, but Kevin refuses to take information from the teacher who still scares him every other week with whichever horror movie mask has recently caught his fancy.)
So Kevin knows he’s just a clownable human being, and he’s resigned himself to that fate for the rest of his life. But around you? His calm, collected, hilarious, wonderful partner? He expected a little less clownery and a little more loving.
“Oh, come on,” you laugh, trying to get Kevin to turn around. Honestly, he’s already feeling the effects of withdrawal from not seeing your smile for more than a few minutes, but he refuses to budge, lips curved downwards in a semi-permanent pout. He knows he won’t be able to keep this up for long (he’ll miss looking at your face too much, and really, he can’t be mad at you about anything), but he can make a scene. “Kevin!”
“You’re so mean,” he whines, still resisting your efforts to make him look at you. “I just poured out a very embarrassing part of my childhood to you and instead of comforting me, you laugh?” His pout deepens. “I don’t know why we’re dating.”
Your hands leave the back of his shoulders. For a second, Kevin thinks you’ve given up and he’s about to start whining about that too, but then you appear in front of him, fingers clasped placatingly. “All right, all right, Kevin.” Still grinning, you grab his hands. “I won’t tease anymore. But seriously, how could you expect me not to laugh my ass off when you told me you learned to skip stones for the –” you make jazz hands, presumably to emphasize your point – “aesthetic?”
Kevin sticks his lip out childishly. “I didn’t think it was that funny,” he mumbles.
“It’s not, not really.” You squeeze his hands. “But it’s a move that’s got Kevin Moon stamped all over it.” As if to accentuate your point, you snort. “Of course you’d learn to skip stones for the aesthetic.”
“Y/N,” he whines.
“Fine, fine, I’ll stop.” Your teasing grin melts into an eager smile. “Hey, teach me?”
“Right now?”
“Why not?”
It feels like Kevin’s physically crumbling to pieces with the way your hopeful voice and sparkling eyes just attack him from all angles. Grudgingly, the deep pout on his lips stretches into a smile, the starstruck smile that all of his friends like to tease him for. “Fine, let’s go.”
He spends the rest of the afternoon stepping around small children and younger couples, trying to find suitable rocks for skipping and teaching you the right angles, the right stance, the right way to hold the stone in your hand before sending it into the water. You learn fast, something he envies – where it took him at least a couple of weeks to perfect the art, you (mostly) pick it up in a matter of hours – but he can’t feel too jealous or too bad when you look up at him after your stone skips once on the water. “Kevin, I did it!” You shake him slightly. “Did you see that?”
The softest smile spreads across Kevin’s face as he kisses your forehead softly “Yeah, I did.”
When he pulls away, you give him the brightest grin before scrambling away to find more stones to skip. Kevin just watches, taking in the way your figure looks against the setting sun, bright gold and pale pink light streaming over your body, almost making you glow.
This is why he fell in love with you, he thinks. Your character, your tenacity, the way you throw yourself into every task you’ve been assigned so that you can complete it as best as you can. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to treat a new cancer case at the hospital or trying to skip a stupid rock across the water. You always give it your all.
Idly, Kevin picks up a stone of his own. With a practiced flick of his wrist, it goes sailing onto the lake, skipping three, four, five times before sinking beneath the surface.
Falling in love with you is a bit like skipping stones, he thinks, watching the stone disappear from sight. Someone had to force him into that first blind date with you, much like making the first toss of the stone into the water, but every skip after that was quick, effortless, the way he felt himself falling for you, step by stumbling step, until his heart finally gave in and sank below the waves of your warmth.
It’s hard to imagine a time when he wasn’t in love with you, even though such a time did at one point exist. But the way you make him feel with the smallest things you do – the way you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, the way you rest your chin on your hand in thought – it feels like he’s known you for an eternity and loved you even longer, loved you before time existed.
Your stone skips twice across the water and you shout with joy, racing up to Kevin to celebrate. He catches you when you leap at him, arms wrapping around your waist automatically, smiling into your shining face. Yes, he thinks, he’s in love.
He’s so in love with you.
. . . . .
i.
Kevin, by all definitions of the word, is panicking.
He’s been dreading this blind date for almost a month now, circling the day on his calendar and marking it D-Day, begging Jacob and Changmin to come along and hide in case he needs to be bailed out, relentlessly praying that he’ll be able to leave the stupid date in one piece.
(Look, as much as he appreciates Mrs. Park’s kindness and her brownies, she can be… a little overbearing. To say the least.)
Just a few hours ago, he was putting on his yellow sweater and bemoaning the existence of his pushy coworker. Just a few hours ago, he was lamenting his fate to his two friends (friends is a term he will use loosely for today – all they did was laugh at him). Just a few hours ago, he was cursing the existence of Mrs. Park and her brownies for getting him locked into this date with her sister’s kid. Wait, was it her sister? Or her brother?
(“Yes, her sister,” Changmin says, rolling his eyes. “Pay more attention, won’t you, Kev?”
Kevin groans. “Why couldn’t either of you be chosen by Mrs. Park, huh? Why me?”
“Because I have a partner and Jacob is good at disappearing.” Changmin grins that evil, evil grin he always has on just before he’s about to execute a prank on someone (usually Kevin).
“More like the two of you are good at leaving me to fend for myself against Mrs. Park, even though you know I can’t say no to shit,” Kevin grumbles.
“Give up her brownies,” Jacob suggests.
Kevin gasps. “No way in hell.”)
But now, he’s actually sitting across from you in a café not too far from his apartment, holding a cup of coffee between his (visibly shaking) hands. And he can’t even think of why he was dreading this date so much because you’re just… really, really perfect.
Why are you so sweet? he’s screaming inside. Why are you so funny? Why are you literally the perfect mix of snark and kindness and just – everything?
“So my aunt told me you work with her,” you say, seemingly oblivious to Kevin’s jitters. The smile on your face is really sending electricity racing through his heart. “I know the children must be fun, but I know she can be a bit… overbearing.” There’s a hint of apology in your eyes, like you know your aunt must have pressured him into this and you’re sorry that he had to come on a date with you.
Kevin’s stomach flip-flops. Okay, so Mrs. Park maybe did severely pressure and sweetly blackmail Kevin into a blind date. But Kevin also doesn’t want you to feel bad for it because it’s not your fault at all, so as usual, when he finds himself in a tight spot, his mouth decides it’s time to run.
“No, your aunt is really nice,” he starts. “I really mean it – she’s always very kind to the kids and to the rest of us teachers. I’m still kind of new compared to the rest of them – I’ve only been at the school for a few years now – but she helped me feel welcome that first year when I was still figuring things out. And she also likes Beyonce! You know, the greatest female artist there is? She let me play my entire playlist of Beyonce songs for her last year and she liked every single one of them!”
Kevin’s babbling now. Rambling. Whatever he wants to call it. His brain is screaming for him to stop talking but his mouth won’t stop running because this is what he does when he’s nervous. He talks. Endlessly.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the table where Changmin and Jacob are situated in case they need to rescue him from mental or physical harm. The top of Changmin’s head is barely visible behind a huge menu so Kevin can barely see his friend, but somewhere in his babbling haze, he notices a phone camera poking out from behind the menu.
If he wasn’t blushing before, he definitely is now.
Finally, his mouth listens to his brain and he trails off on his last thought on why Beyonce is the best artist in the entire world. There’s a second of silence.
“Sorry,” Kevin finally squeaks. “I… tend to ramble when I get nervous. Or when I talk about Beyonce.”
Your smile flashes even wider. Kevin is torn between wanting to melt into the ground out of embarrassment and staying upright to keep seeing that grin on your face. 
“Don’t be sorry,” you laugh, fiddling with your cup of coffee. “I thought it was cute.”
Kevin’s face burns so much that he misses what you say next. “Sorry?”
You grin. “I’m always interested in hearing about a new artist to add to my playlist.”
Kevin lets out a theatrical gasp. “You don’t have Beyonce in your music library?”
A sheepish look spreads across your face. “… No?”
“Oh my God.” Kevin pulls out his phone. “Okay, I’m about to educate you on the artist of our time.”
The afternoon, then, passes in a flash. Changmin and Jacob eventually just up and exit the café (presumably with enough blackmail to last the rest of Kevin’s life – he knows he was acting like a complete fool, but luckily, you didn’t seem to care), leaving him alone with you. Under any other circumstances, he probably would’ve started crying, but you’re so sweet and so interesting that Kevin thinks he could stay and talk to you in this café forever.
He learns you’re an oncologist at a nearby children’s hospital, that even though the work is hard and tiring and sometimes overwhelmingly depressing, the strength of the children and the families you work with inspire you to keep going every day. He learns that you don’t have too much of a sweet tooth (though you won’t say no to ice cream or cheesecake, both of which he notes in his head), he learns that you love coffee, and he learns that you like to take walks in the park whenever you have a little bit of free time.
He also learns that you’re snarky, intelligent, driven, hardworking. He learns that you’re something far beyond the beauty of your face – that underneath your skin, there’s a heart that’s warmer than the sun.
Kevin understands that this is only the first date and that he maybe shouldn’t be making judgments so quickly. But he’s been told that he’s a relatively good judge of character, and the genuine look in your eyes when you talks speaks volumes about the person deep inside.
Even though you live further away, Kevin takes the bus with you to your home, citing that it’s only polite to walk one’s date to the door (in reality, he just wants to spend a little more time with you). As the bus rattles along the road, Kevin lets you listen to the songs on his phone, delighting in the way your head bobs to the beat of his favorite tracks.
Kevin’s a bit sad when you reach your apartment, sad that your time together is over for the day. He lingers outside the building for a moment, trying to work up the courage to ask about a second date.
Suddenly, you lean forward. Kevin jerks back – he briefly wonders if you’re trying to kiss him – but you just pat a spot on his sweater, frowning slightly at your fingers. “Is that… paint?”
Oh my God.
Kevin tugs the material of his sweater forward so he can see the spot you’re pointing at. Sure enough, there’s a small patch of red paint on the yellow fuzz. He groans. “I didn’t even notice.”
“Well, that’s what people like us get for working with children.” You roll your eyes comically, and Kevin bursts into laughter that’s definitely too loud for the small joke you made. Then silence falls again.
You break it. “Listen, Kevin.”
He perks up. “Hmm?”
“I’ll admit, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this date because my aunt has been trying to set me up with people my age for several years now.” For the first time today, you look shy. “She was probably really pushy with you too, so I’m sorry about that. But I really enjoyed this afternoon.” You meet Kevin’s eyes. “If you’d like, I’d love to go on a second date.”
Kevin’s heart explodes. It really does. Sheer excitement courses through his veins, and he has to stop himself from smiling widely enough to mimic a god damn clown. “I’d love that,” he says trying to hide how eager he really is. “Um, I’ll say that I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this either, mostly because my experience with blind dates has had… limited success. But I’m really glad I met you. You’re a wonderful person.”
Your smile grows wider at Kevin’s admission. “Thank you, Kevin. You’re wonderful too.”
“Do you kiss on the first date?” he blurts out because his brain has no filter. Then he backtracks. “Um, it’s totally okay if you don’t, I was just asking, please don’t think I’m a creep –”
You briefly press your lips to his. Kevin shuts up.
When you break away, Kevin honestly thinks you’re glowing. “Does that answer your question?” you ask, bravely trying to hide something – is that embarrassment? Whatever it is, he thinks it’s adorable.
Kevin blushes. “Yes.”
People probably think he’s insane with the way he’s smiling on the bus ride back to his apartment. He can’t help it, though – the tingling touch of your lips, gentle against his, plays over and over in his mind, along with memories of your lovely voice and your lovely smile and your lovely, lovely disposition. Some people are giving him weird looks, and Jacob and Changmin are sure to tease him to no end when he comes in to work tomorrow.
But who cares? Kevin’s got a second date in the works with one of the most wonderful people he’s ever met.
In his mind, he’s on top of the world.
. . . . .
ii.
Usually, when Kevin gets lucky and scores a second date or a third, he suggests taking his date somewhere with children to gauge how they feel about small toddlers tearing up the place. Children are a huge part of Kevin’s life – he teaches elementary school and knows he wants kids when he gets a bit older – so one of the silent standards he’s set for potential significant others is that they have to like and be good with children.
You work at a children’s hospital, Kevin knows, so you must at least be good with kids, even if you might not like them (hey, it’s possible – Kevin has known many people who are good at things they hate). That fulfills half of the standard. He just needs to gauge the other half.
There aren’t many events at the school coming up, though – no plays, no art exhibitions, nothing he can really invite you to. He’s racking his brains for a third date somehow involving children when you unexpectedly call him about an event at the hospital.
“I know it’s last minute,” you apologize profusely, “but the guy who was supposed to come today for the kids’ music hour called in sick. I don’t want to cancel the event because they always look forward to it and I know you play the piano – would it be possible for you to fill in?”
It is possible, it turns out. He may not be able to pack his Yamaha upright into the back of your car, but he does have an electronic keyboard that fits into your trunk. The whole way there, you’re apologizing, but between reassurances that it’s totally fine, Kevin can’t help but anticipate how you’ll act around the children once the two of you arrive.
Setting up takes more time than he’d like (the extension cord that comes with his keyboard is too short, so you disappear on a twenty-minute manhunt for a longer one while Kevin just stands there awkwardly), which makes him feel slightly like a burden on the rest of your coworkers. They’re so polite, though, so genuine and kind, that Kevin eventually starts to feel more at ease.
(He’s still endlessly grateful when you return, extension cord clasped victoriously in one hand.)
Then the kids start trickling in, and Kevin’s heart immediately both breaks and melts. Some are in wheelchairs, others have lost their hair, but they’re all smiling with so much excitement, chattering to their parents and the staff around them as they settle on beanbags and pillows on the floor. Several look at him curiously and he smiles at them, prompting several questions about who he is, why there’s a keyboard and not a guitar, and why the normal guy isn’t here.
“The usual guy got sick and couldn’t come,” Kevin says to one sweet girl with chubby cheeks and shining eyes. “I’m just here to replace him for a day.”
“Do you play the piano?” she asks, shyly pointing at the keyboard, which more than a few curious souls are standing around.
Kevin smiles. “Yes, I do.” He would say more, maybe offer to show her the instrument a little, but then you’re walking over, and her eyes brighten. “Dr. L/N!” she cheers.
With a loud laugh, you swoop her up carefully, cradling the girl against your shoulder. “How are you, Daeun?” you ask, lips spread in a smile that Kevin knows can’t be faked.
The girl – Daeun – grins. “I’ve been good!” she announces proudly. “Are we going to start soon?”
You laugh again, settling her back down on the floor. Kevin thinks his heart melts with the way your eyes sparkle. “Yes, we are,” you say. “I see you’ve already met Kevin?”
“Your name is Kevin?” Daeun looks at him curiously. “Your name is strange.”
Kevin has to force himself not to coo. “I was born in Canada,” he says. “My Korean name is Hyungseo.”
Daeun’s nose scrunches. “I like Kevin more,” she decides with finality.
Kevin feels brave enough to pat her on the head. “Then you can call me Kevin.”
“All right, Daeun. Go find your mom, okay? Kevin and I are going to finish setting up, and then we’ll get started.” With a soft kiss on the forehead (Kevin makes a sound he really hopes you don’t hear – the scene is just too adorable), you send the small girl off, turning back to Kevin. “Shall we get started?” you ask, grinning widely.
It may only be the third date, but he’s falling in love, Kevin thinks, falling in love with your shining face and sparkling eyes, with the way you shower love upon the children you’ve placed under your care. Right now, you’re everything he’s ever wanted in a future partner – beautiful in character, kind, gentle, fiercely loving.
His heart pounds a little faster.
Belatedly, Kevin realizes you’re waiting for a response and nods quickly. “Yeah,” he breathes, eyes glancing over the sea of children waiting (somewhat) patiently. A smile to rival yours spreads across his face. “Let’s get started.”
. . . . .
iii.
Kevin loves the last Friday of every month, he really does. It’s been tradition for several years now to go out with Changmin and Jacob on what he calls nights for “the boyz” to eat cheap food and get drunk. And no matter how much the others complain about the stupid name (Kevin will admit it sounds stupid now, but that doesn’t mean he’ll change it), he knows they enjoy the nights all the same.
Sometimes, though, Kevin just wishes he had more of a filter on his mouth. If not that, then maybe his brain could stop remembering every single dumb thing he said or did on drunk nights out. It would make his life a lot easier if he could just forget being stupid.
But no, God decided to be mean when making Kevin Moon. So Kevin, as a result, is an emotional drunk. He cries a lot when he hears about sad or adorable things, he says a lot of stupid stuff to (badly) express his overwhelming feelings, and worst of all, he remembers all of it when he wakes up hungover the next morning.
(None of this stops him from getting drunk anyway. Kevin Moon doesn’t learn lessons when it comes to alcohol. When he falls on his face (sometimes literally), he just gets up again, even if it’s with a bloody nose.)
Luckily, the night doesn’t end in chaos. Even though Jacob, who’s half of Kevin’s impulse control, leaves after an hour (he’s meeting with his family the next day, so Kevin is obligated call him a noob – it’s like a law of physics or something), Changmin doesn’t seem to be in the mood to do weird things without Jacob there to stop him, so the night passes relatively smoothly without Kevin throwing, like, a tantrum or anything.
He gets close, though. Because damn, if Changmin isn’t so fucking adorable when talking about his partner. Buried in his purple hoodie, black hair peeking softly over the top, it’s impossible for Kevin not to tear up when Changmin begins gushing over his beautiful, amazing, wonderful significant other whom he just compared to stardust.
Stardust.
Kevin wants to scream, that’s so romantic.
When you come to pick him and Changmin up, Kevin can’t resist relaying all of this to you as soon as he gets in the car. Vaguely, he thinks he should be worried about Changmin hearing it and hitting him, but the boy is mostly asleep in the back, eyes only fluttering slightly when you go over a bump or something. After Changmin gets dropped off at his apartment, Kevin turns the gushing on full force.
“Y/N, the love of my life, he called her stardust,” he’s still babbling even as you strongarm him up to his own apartment. “He’s so adorable. Changmin is so adorable. Oh my God.”
He thinks you snort. Probably. It would be a normal response. “Didn’t you call him the spawn of Satan just a few days ago?”
Definitely a snort, Kevin thinks, but he’s too invested in Changmin’s loveliness to whine about you making fun of him. “Y/N,” he pouts instead, “listen to meeeeee.”
“I’m listening, I’m listening.” You grunt, catching him just as he misses the next step and almost falls forward. “Hey, be careful.”
“’M trying.” Kevin manfully does his best to stop the world from tilting on its side. “But Changminnie.”
“Yes, yes, Changminnie.” Even drunk, Kevin can make out the playful exasperation in your voice. “Keep going.”
“Thank you, love of my life.” Kevin tries to give you a kiss but his lips hit air instead of your cheek. “Heck.”
You burst into loud laughter. “Kevin Moon, you never told me you were this adorable when drunk.”
“Changminnie,” he says more insistently.
“Okay, yes, I’m listening.” You kiss his cheek instead, and Kevin almost topples over right then and there. “Hey, you can’t fall over whenever I kiss you. Tell me about Changmin.”
Kevin starts flailing his arms around as best he can. “He’s so cute!” he half-yells. “He told me his partner was like stardust because she’s so perfect and warm, but she’s also like stardust because… because…”
His lip juts out.
“Oh, no, don’t cry, Kev.” You stop moving, then Kevin registers you bundling him into a hug, patting his head. “I know you’re a sad emotional drunk, but don’t cry.”
“Not crying,” Kevin protests, visibly crying.
“Mhm.” You pat his head one last time before letting go. “Hey, give me a second, I’m going to unlock your door.”
There’s some fumbling and a quiet snick, then Kevin obediently follows you through the door of his apartment. Once inside, you press a thumb to the side of his face, brushing a tear away. “Tell me what Changmin said to make you sad.”
“Changminnie said he’s afraid she’ll… she’ll… slip away between his fingers. Like stardust.” Kevin feels like he’s going to start sobbing any moment now. “He’s afraid she’s going to leave him eventually because she’s too perfect and he’s not good enough.”
“Oh my God.” You sit down on the couch. Kevin follows suit, albeit a lot more ungracefully as he collapses onto a cushion in a tangle of limbs. “Oh my God, that’s so sad and cute at the same time.”
“I said he should call her his star,” Kevin mumbles, turning slightly so he can burrow into your side. “Because stardust. Texted them about it. Both of them.”
Your laugh sounds like music even to the drunken haze of his brain. “Wonder what they’ll think when they see a drunken keysmash on their phones first thing tomorrow morning.”
The two of you sit in silence for a bit. Kevin feels his eyes beginning to get droopy, and he almost falls asleep before a thought strikes him with lightning force.
“I need to give you a nickname!” he almost yells, sitting bolt upright. The movement makes the room spin, but he doesn’t care. This is urgent. “Changmin’s going to call her his star, but I haven’t given you a nickname yet!”
“Kev, Kev.” You hold him by the shoulders, and he relaxes a little. “You can come up with a nickname for me in the morning. Right now, I think you need to sleep.”
“No,” he whines, shifting in your grip. “This is important. You need a nickname.” He sinks into deep, drunken thoughts, the kinds of thoughts he has when he ignores everything around him in favor of getting philosophical after having drunk too much alcohol.
Then it hits him.
“Oh my God,” he gasps. “Oh my God.” It’s his turn to grab you by the shoulders, now. “Oh my God. You’re the sun. Because I’m the moon. Get it? Kevin Moon?”
Through his drunken haze, Kevin thinks he sees you smile, maybe. It looks like a smile.
Your eyes are sparkling. You look happy.
Probably a smile.
“I’m a genius,” he whispers. A genius for coming up with the nickname and for making you happy.
“Sure, Kevin.” You grunt a little as he shifts his weight. “Come on, get up. We’ll see if you’re still a genius tomorrow if you wake up and remember all of this.”
Kevin doesn’t register much for the rest of the night, just remembers falling into his bed and forcing you to lie down next to him. The next morning, he wakes up with a throbbing headache and the vague, ever-present worry that he said something stupid last night.
You’re not in the bed with him anymore. Kevin blinks once, twice, before trying to sit up so to figure out where you went. Then he remembers you don’t live here. You probably went home.
Which is why he nearly goes into cardiac arrest when you appear in his doorway, holding a mug of coffee and a glass of water.
For a moment, the two of you just stare at each other. Kevin’s not sure what thoughts are running through your head, but he knows he’s trying to piece together what happened last night, and whether or not he should be hiding under the covers out of embarrassment.
Then it hits him.
Sun.
Moon.
Genius.
Oh, God.
Kevin wants to die.
“Morning, sunshine,” he says, using your new nickname in the desperate hope that it’ll distract you from remembering the rest of what he said last night.
A catlike smirk curls your lips as you walk over, pressing the glass of water into his hands. A feeling of dread fills Kevin’s heart as he takes it.
“Morning, genius,” you say with enough evil delight to power Changmin for a year.
Kevin groans. “I was drunk.”
“Yeah, I noticed.” Your teasing smile melts into something gentler as you place your mug on the bedside table, turning to bring the glass of water in his hands to his lips. “Coffee’s mine, don’t touch it or I’ll break a bone. Drink the water. I made some breakfast, so come into the kitchen whenever you feel up to it. After you’ve brushed your teeth.”
Warmth courses through Kevin’s body, and it has nothing to do with the alcohol from last night and everything to do with how you’re here in body and mind, sweetly helping him recover from a stupid hangover even when it’s definitely not your problem to take care of and you probably have better things to do. His heart thumps, loud enough that he thinks you could probably hear it.
In this moment, Kevin doesn’t think he’s ever been more grateful for anything than you coming into his life.
“Got it.” He awkwardly tries to salute, but he does it with the hand holding the glass and the water nearly spills onto the bed. As his cheeks flush, you break into snorting giggles.
Even though it’s at his expense, Kevin thinks he would do anything, anything in the world, to keep that wonderful smile on your face and that musical laughter in the air.
. . . . .
iv.
Only when you move in together does Kevin realize just how taxing your job is. He had an idea from when you sometimes had to cancel or move around dates, but when you did meet up, you were usually energetic and cheerful. Of course, there were the token dates where you just came over to Kevin’s apartment or he came over to yours and you just flopped around for a few hours. Outside, though, you always showed a bright face.
But that was because dates were mostly on your days off or when your hours were short, and as a result, you felt good enough, energized enough to show Kevin your brilliant smile. When you first moved in together, Kevin felt a bit surprised – well, maybe not surprised, but saddened – that you didn’t have the energy to smile as brightly as he saw before.
It’s fine by Kevin, though. You smile often enough, and if your teeth don’t show as much as they used to, there’s something beautiful, something calming and sweet in the slower curve of your lips, the gentle, lethargic way you lean up for a kiss. After all, Kevin has enough energy to compensate for when you might lack some of yours.
(It helps that he can cook, he thinks. Even when the kids at school sometimes wear him out, the brief sparkle in your eye that spreads across your lips when you walk through the door to see him stirring something on the stove is more than enough to make up for it.)
You’re cute, too, when you’re tired. Though Kevin loves it when you’re energetic and ready for whatever the day has decided to throw in your path, there’s something so peaceful, so pleasant about feeling you lying lethargically against his side on the couch, scrolling through your phone or reading a book or just resting, doing nothing but breathing softly. Kevin cherishes those small moments, the soft atmosphere where he kisses your hair and you smile, reach up, and press a kiss of your own to his cheek.
Tonight is one of those nights, a night of soft, comforting silence, words few and far between. It’s been a bit warm lately, so Kevin’s elected to wear one of the tank tops he keeps for the warmer months instead of his usual sweater.
You sit next to him on the couch, back pressed to his side as you send off emails on your phone. Kevin’s working too, inputting grades on his laptop. He hums a little under his breath to take his mind off of the monotony of his task.
At some point, you finish, putting down your phone with a sigh and slumping into his ribs. Kevin starts at the sudden movement. “Sunshine,” he whines, even though he could really care less.
“Moon boy,” you parrot in the same tone of voice.
Kevin’s attention turns back to his laptop, so he barely registers you shifting on the couch to a new position. He does notice it, though, when your fingers start trailing along his skin, exposed by the lack of sleeves on his tank top, because your touch tickles.
You completely ignore his resulting twitch of surprise, only keep tracing the skin of his rib cage. Kevin looks down, confused as to what’s caught your attention.
Oh. His tattoos.
“Sunshine?” he asks softly, watching your fingers shift along his skin.
“Mm,” you hum, eyes still fixated on the ink decorating his side.
“Sleepy?”
Slowly, you shake your head, fingers paused on the image of Mickey Mouse. “Not yet.”
He goes back to inputting grades, all the while still aware of your fingers tracing the lines, the curls, the swirls of black ink along his side. When he finishes, he looks over before closing his laptop to see your eyes still focused on his skin.
Something in his heart explodes, spreading a tingly, comforting warmth throughout his body. It’s a feeling he’s come to associate with your presence, a feeling of absolute security, absolute trust, absolute warmth that comes with falling in love with you.
You look up, noticing his lack of movement. “Finished, moonbeams?”
“First moon boy, now moonbeams?” Kevin teases you lightly, picking up the hand you were using to trace his skin and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. Just like every other time he’s ever done it, a wide smile spreads across your face and a shyness sparkles in your eyes, as though you still can’t believe the bliss of the moment.
(At least, that’s what Kevin feels every time you do something to remind him that he’s yours.)
Your voice breaks into his thoughts. “Can’t call you moonshine, that’s an alcohol.” You shrug as best as you can in your stretched-out position. “Moonbeams, moon boy… whatever feels right.”
Kevin puts his laptop on the coffee table. As he leans back into the couch, you curl up into him, one hand still lingering against the Mickey Mouse tattoo on his side. “Tell me about these?” you ask, pressing your fingers a bit more firmly against the ink.
His tattoos are personal, serving as reminders of the past and inspiration to keep moving. Rarely does he share their meanings with anyone (not that people usually ask, because the tattoos are mostly covered by his clothes), and only with those who mean the world to him.
Kevin thinks you qualify as one of them.
Touching your shoulders, he turns you around slightly, just enough to press a short, sweet kiss to the top of your head. “Of course, sunshine.” He smiles, gazing into your eyes, feeling the warmth of your love travel through his limbs. “Which one first?”
. . . . .
v.
Kevin Moon, for the majority of his life, has hovered in between being classified as a morning person or a night owl. Yes, he gets up at six in the morning for a cup of coffee, but he also stays up past midnight doing… stuff. Grading, writing reports, watching cat videos, wasting time.
(When Changmin judges his lifestyle, Kevin just reminds him that he fell in love with his roommate’s hookup and is on a dance team with the parent of one of his students.)
Honestly, if Kevin didn’t remind himself every so often that he’s currently a full adult, his lifestyle would make him think he was still in college. He certainly still acts like it when he isn’t working. Procrastinating? Check. Crying over reports he needs to submit at three a.m.? Check. Flopping around on the floor when life is going badly? Check.
And most importantly: nonexistent sleep schedule? Check.
You put a stop to that real quick when you move in, both directly and indirectly. Directly, you make an appointment for him at a sleep clinic after figuring out his shitty sleep patterns, and Kevin finds out he probably has mild insomnia. The aftermath is horrible – you put him on a strict sleep schedule and all but ban caffeine from his diet (goodbye, morning coffee) – but it helps, after a couple of weeks. He sleeps better. Perks of having a partner who works in medicine.
Indirectly, though, you probably make a bigger difference.
See, the way Kevin thinks about it, he just never had a lot of reasons to stay in bed very long. Even though he appreciates sleep, really appreciates it on long days, it’s just that he can’t really force it if it doesn’t want to come. He’d also rather be doing something productive (or not productive, depends on the asker’s perspective) than lying awake for hours, anyway.
But now that he’s waking up to a face he loves?
Well, even if you sometimes disappear before he wakes (hospital hours are whack as hell, but sadly, you can’t ignore your job), Kevin will just say your warmth is a powerful incentive to stay huddled under the covers, even if he can’t fall back asleep.
He still wakes up every morning to grey light beginning to peek through the window. No matter how hard he tries to sleep in just a little longer, his body can’t seem to stay unconscious past six in the morning, so both of you have just resigned yourselves to the fact that Kevin will always be an early riser.
Before you walked into his life, he would’ve rolled out of bed almost immediately, stumbled to the bathroom (and maybe knocked his knee against the doorframe, who knows), then started brewing coffee in the kitchen to start the day.
Now?
A drowsy smile begins to make its way across Kevin’s face, soft as the morning light, when his brain catches up to the present and he registers your warmth under the covers. Sleepily, he blinks, taking in the sight of your peaceful face buried halfway in the sheets.
You shouldn’t look this beautiful, Kevin thinks, not with your hair strewn all over the pillow, blankets rumpled around your shoulders, arms outstretched so that one sort of curls over his body while the other is held up to your chest. It’s the morning – no one should look pretty and put-together. That isn’t natural.
(Unless you happy to be Kim Younghoon, but that’s another story.)
Yet you somehow look like a sleeping deity in Kevin’s mind, even with your hair a mess and drool drying on the pillowcase. As the drowsiness clears from his eyes, as the light from the window grows brighter, Kevin can barely even think of moving, of disturbing your peace.
He dislikes your alarm. It’s loud, annoying, and hits him with a jolt when he’s just trying to take these stolen morning moments to admire your beauty. When he complains about it the first time, you tell him to serve as the alarm, to wake you up himself.
Kevin counters that he’s an artist, that he needs peace and quiet to give beauty of such a degree the respect it deserves. You just roll your eyes, telling him that if he isn’t going to wake you up, the alarm’s going to have to take that job. The smile on your face, though, and the brief kiss you press to his lips right after, speaks volumes for the emotions Kevin’s words make you feel.
(He loves flustering you like this, even if you pretend his words don’t make you feel some sort of way.)
So eventually, you wake, eyes fluttering as the alarm brings you back to the conscious plane. Kevin’s heart feels like it’s bursting when your eyes fully open, blearily blinking at the world.
“Morning, sunshine,” he whispers, running one hand through your hair.
You lean slightly into the touch, the corners of your lips twitching up. And every day, as he stares into your sleepy eyes, lips curling as you whisper a quiet “Morning, moon boy” in reply, Kevin knows he’s falling, falling in love with every part of you.
. . . . .
+i.
Kevin’s waiting in front of the school when you pull up at the curb. Smiling apologetically, he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek as you step out of the car. “Sorry, sunshine.” He gestures at the two small boys standing beside him, absorbed in their own world. “Their uncle’s running late and Changmin and Jacob have things to do, so I need to wait for Sangyeon to pick them up before we can go.”
“No worries.” You return the kiss, smiling as bright as the sun. Kevin feels a flash of pride for coming up with a nickname that fits you so well. “We have the whole afternoon, don’t we?”
“That, we do.” He grins, squeezing your hand.
“Mr. Moon, who’s that?” a small voice asks closer to the ground. The two of you turn to see Sunwoo and Eric trotting over, curious looks on their faces.
Kevin looks over at you, but you’re already bending down to get to eye level with the two boys. “Oh, hello!” Your grin, if possible, grows wider. “I’m Y/N, Kevin’s significant other. What are your names?”
“I’m Eric,” Eric pipes up. “This is my brother, Sunwoo.”
Sunwoo just stares with round eyes. Well, he’s always been the shyer of the two.
“Those are lovely names,” you reply smoothly, giving Sunwoo an encouraging smile. Kevin feels his heart melt completely at how well you interact with the kids. “I’m just going to be waiting with Kevin until your uncle picks you up, is that okay?”
The two kids nod and immediately go back to babbling in their own little world. Kevin notices the fond smile on your face, and his heart melts even more.
“They’re so cute,” you whisper to him.
“I know, right?” Kevin clutches his heart dramatically. “Can you imagine teaching them every day?”
Just as you’re shaking your head in comic disbelief, another car pulls up behind yours. A harried-looking young man quickly exits and Eric and Sunwoo cheer, distracted by the arrival of their uncle.
“Sorry about this,” Sangyeon says, absentmindedly patting Eric’s head as the boy hugs his leg. Sunwoo seems to be attempting to climb onto his uncle’s back. “Traffic wasn’t the kindest when I was getting out of work.” Then he notices you. “Oh, hello. Are you Kevin’s partner?”
“That I am.” You stick out a hand. “I’m Y/N, and I’ve been told you’re Sangyeon?”
Sangyeon nods, smiling. “Nice to meet you. And to see that Kevin’s found someone to deal with his antics.”
Kevin blushes as you laugh. “Hey,” he complains. “No jokes at my expense, please.”
“Sure, moonbeams.” You roll your eyes, then turn back to Sangyeon. “It’s nice to meet you. Your nephews are adorable.”
The smile that Sangyeon gives the two boys clambering around him says it all. “They are, aren’t they?” He checks his watch. “I’m sorry, I have to go now. My sister’s expecting us back soon, and I’m already a bit late.”
Kevin breathes a sigh of relief. No more teasing at his expense from Sangyeon, at least, though there’s no guarantee from you. “Nice seeing you, Sangyeon. And have a good day, kids.”
A small chorus of “You too, Mr. Moon!” sounds, and Kevin expects that to be the end. Sangyeon will herd the boys into the car, Kevin will follow you into yours, and then you’ll go your separate ways. What he doesn’t expect is for Sunwoo to look out at you from behind his uncle’s leg, round eyes cautiously curious, and ask you a question.
“Y/N?”
Immediately, you turn around, teasing smirk melting into a gentle smile for the small boy. “Yes, Sunwoo?”
Sunwoo’s eyes dart between you and Kevin. Then, softly, shyly – “Do you love Mr. Moon?”
Time seems to stop as Kevin’s breath hitches in his throat at the sudden question, but you only look back at him, eyes soft and sparkling in the sunlight. 
Your answer glitters in your gaze.
Though you’re supposed to be talking to Sunwoo, your eyes stay fixed on Kevin, strong and unyielding, yet gentle and affectionate, as you answer. Your voice is soft when you reply. “Yes, Sunwoo. I do love him.” The smile on your face grows wider as you turn back to the child. “I love him very much.”
Indescribable warmth floods Kevin’s chest and tears prick his eyes. And as Sangyeon hurries his nephews away, as you turn around to unlock your car, one truth burns with absolute, crystal-clear certainty in his mind.
He isn’t falling in love with you, not anymore. No, he’s far past that stage.
Kevin Moon is completely, wholly, irrevocably in love with you.
“Kevin?” You look at him from the other side of the car. “You coming?”
A wide grin spreads across his face as he meets your sparkling eyes. Love blooms in his chest.
“Coming, sunshine.”
Tumblr media
If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3
(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s whipped ass ksjdkgsdhjk)
208 notes · View notes