#ap is a nasty little man
Note
🦄 - Characters' physical appearance.
and
🕊️ - Platonic relationships (friends, enemies, etc).
for Mairon and
🐅 - Characterization: character habits, personality, etc.
for Ar-Pharazôn
🖤🖤🖤
🦄 - Mairon
My Mairon is very femme, but due to being a smith he is a lot stronger physically than people give him credit for. His strength is just hidden by fancy robes, which oftentimes is a deliberate strategy to make himself appear more soft, frail and helpless. Many are shocked to discover that 1) there are indeed strong muscles underneath those silks and 2) he is fully capable of lifting Melkor in full armor.
🕊️ - Mairon
Aside from verses in which I explore the Mairon x Arien x Eönwë OT3, my Mairon has pretty much always disliked Eönwë. Post War of Wrath this evolves into vicious hatred (for obvious reasons). Eönwë is to this day completely oblivious to it and, when made aware of it, doesn't understand why things are that ugly on Mairon's part.
The truth is that Mairon was always annoyed by his hero persona and jealous of him being Manwë's special little guy because he didn't get to be Aulë's special little guy.
🐅- Ar-Pharazôn
Gonna have to put this under a cut. TW for references to homophobia and non-con.
Everything about AP screams insecurities as is, and one of which is that he's always been attracted to men, even before finding himself in possession of an ungodly beautiful Maiarin prisoner.
Idk how I wanna hc the human societies and kingdoms in Middle-earth in terms of regarding gender and sexuality, but regardless of how Númenor thinks, AP always felt the need to prove that he's The Man and this is also part of the reason why he acts up as king and was so ruthless with Tar-Míriel. With her, it was definitely always about power and control, not even desire (or let alone love); and it's similar with Mairon. He would always act like he's above being charmed by him and publicly humiliate him, making a show out of pushing him around and calling him nasty things, but in private it would soon become obvious just how... interested he is.
And yes, he probably was dumb, greedy and arrogant enough to believe that he could beat Manwë in a fight (obligatory reminder that the bird man can oneshot the entire Balrog crew without much effort...)
#thanks for the ask!#💕💕💕#idk if any of these are unusual but yeah#mairon#sauron#eonwe#eönwë#ar pharazon#headcanons#my headcanons#tw homophobia#tw noncon#(referenced)#tldr:#ap is a nasty little man
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no face, no case • eren jaeger x black !fem reader
who knew that a simple picture posted on your Instagram could cause so much controversy? Oh…if only they knew the origin of it.
themes: just some nasty ass vacation/hotel sex, marriage proposal, marking (from the reader), foot play, drunk eren, back shots, overstim, slapping, choking..yktv
📝: sliding down a wall thinking about Eren and his influencer wife again like ughhh…this is just a little short drabble I’m totally not using an excuse to avoid finishing the full fic..never 🌚
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48 minutes ago
10,076 likes
location: Santorini, Greece
not exactly the reaction you were expecting to garner for a simple photo. A mere picture like the countless hundreds of others that could be found on your instagram feed..except it wasn’t!..and granted, it was nothing for you to crack one hundred thousand in a day but this?..was for a whole other reason. Reasons that had sent your entire following and the rest of the of the internet into a frenzy. Your texts practically imploding and notifications gone off the rails.
blogs like TheShadeRoom scrambling and breaking their fingers trying to post about the salacious snapshot posted from (reader’s social media name). What photo? Just a selfie taken from a ceiling mirror of the Katikies hotel room..
swaddled by crinkled white sheets and a man with long hair, tan skin, a tattoo on his right shoulder blade with various scratches on his back as he lie on top of you. Your right hand splayed across his skin and your ring finger glistening with a giant rock.
right now, you were the number one trending topic on Twitter..timeline ablaze with speculation of who was asleep in your bed. But in a not so distant past, he was wide awake, contributing to the mess you both lie in..
one hour earlier….
“F-fuck! Baby…you fucking me so good!”
the words spilling from between your drool stained lips, head tilted backwards courtesy of his fist clutched around the Brazilian wavy bundles cascading to your thin waist. The same hand held the diamonds of his buss down AP gleaming under the dimmed lighting, kept you reigned in as he tugged (y/n) back against his cock.
each inch filling you repeatedly and only getting deeper as those strokes intensified. Your thick, plump ass bouncing off the v-line of his chiseled six pack, moving fluidly like water as he pumped you full.. “I can’t help it..this pussy ‘s good, babygirl..and you creaming on my shit too, goddamnnn.”
that whiny wail coming from none other than world renowned artist and your fiancé, Eren Jaeger. Although that last part was to remain a secret until the two of you were ready to pop out and share that with the world. For now, you were celebrating your newfound engagement with passionate, rough and filthy lovemaking.
he had flew you out to the island on a last minute, spur of the moment getaway to celebrate the release of his long awaited EP and its success. Little did you know in the midst of a toast at an intimate candlelight dinner, would he fall to one knee, brandishing a small velvet box and ask you to be his wife. Without hesitation, you accepted and now, fast forward and you were being treated like his dirty little slut!
“..and imma get to fuck you like this for the rest of my life..oh shit..” so helplessly and needy rutting his hips into your bouncing backside. That tight grip of your cunt and milky cream, thanks to a thumb resting in your asshole, slathering him made it hard to keep his composure. Oh, he was so pathetic and fucking sexy as he hovered over your body.
but he always got like this with alcohol in his system. Shots of Dusse exchanged in the hot tub had led to the dark liquor coursing your veins and bringing out your nastiest sides.
from letting him dangle your head from the edge of the mattress and sloppily fuck your throat into oblivion as you drank his cum like water or sitting atop his face and gliding your pretty pussy across his lips until he sucked your sensitive clit to a squirting climax..going for rounds and rounds to give each other insurmountable pleasure. Beating your poor little walls sore with that big dick and he still was going! Now, you were hitting your second winds and it was as if he was trying to break the bed in the process.
“Aaah! Erennn..right there, you hitting my fucking spot!…gonna make m’ come all over this dick!” hearing your sweet voice cry out like that that done nothing more than to fuel his raging fire. Roping a hand underneath your thick thighs to massage your little bud;
coffin tips of the long acrylics brushing gently against your folds. Meanwhile, he had arched your back to its highest point and began pounding that dripping heat. Your mouth cradling a fluffy pillow in front of you as tried to muffle those moans but it was to no avail.
reaching across, Eren grasped that white linen and tossed it to the floor before folding himself completely over (y/n)’s back that he proceeded to mark with light kisses. Heavy full balls slapping against your slit and making your legs quiver in the process. “Then let me hear it, baby. Tell me how good it is..who that pussy belongs to.”
there wasn’t a single doubt in his mind from the way he had you clawing at the sheets and nutting all over his shaft but something about hearing it just inflated his ego. Tugging at your throat now, he’d pull you towards him to hiss in your ear as he spanked your ass. “I said let me hear that shit, mama..don’t get quiet on me now.”
without having to repeat himself twice, you’d mutter in a choked out whimper, glaring up at him with fluttering eyes and answer: “..mmm, you daddy! This pussy yours..” satisfied and quite full of himself, your future husband smirked and pulled you into a searing kiss, shoving his tongue into your mouth where he drew out a trail of saliva when you parted.
in an almost lightning fast motion, he’d pull out slightly only to flip you over onto your back and fold your legs up; curling your thighs in his muscular, inked up arms. Both knees burrowed into the the memory foam, sinking down as he gathered his stance one more time. Gripping the shaft of that stiff cock, he’d tap the head against your messy sex..coaxing out more of that stickiness he craved. He couldn’t stop until you were pumped full of his nut either so with that, he’d push that thick length through your walls until you could feel it resting at the pit of your stomach.
emerald green eyes locked into your own as he stared down at your face, watching the reactions change by the second as he pinned you down and stuffed that tight pussy with every inch he could offer. Thrusting gently for only a second to slow his pacing. In that short minute, he’d glance down to spot your feet plastered to his chest…
a gold anklet with his initials and white painted toes planted to his skin. To quell your shaking, Eren slid them into his mouth and suckled as he continued to feed you deep strokes. Flicking his tongue over your instep and ankle as well.
“Oooh fuck…you know how much I love that shit, baby..”
There was no time for him to go slow..he couldn’t handle it right now..it felt too goddamn good. Suddenly, a slight bulge started forming at the base of your tummy near that dangling belly button ring…and you’d push him back almost immediately. Big mistake.
rather than holding those legs back, your throat became the next resting place of his large hands. His thumbs brushing the sides of your face at the same time.
“Move your hands, baby. Or I’m only gonna get deeper..don’t you dare try to keep this shit from me right now.” Sucking his teeth, trying to keep himself from coming right there but it was all but impossible when he’d begin to drum out small splashes of squirt from your little hole. It’d spasm and clamp every time he’d pull out and go back in. You couldn’t stop and he didn’t try to stop it either. Just slapping those nine inches against you to make it worse. “Squirt on that shit, baby. Don’t hold it from me..” giving you light taps to the cheek to bring you back to consciousness.
Eventually though, he couldn’t keep up either and those rhythmic strokes slowed to more sporadic ones as his larger frame fell cast over you. Digging your nails deeply into his muscular back, adding to the collection of scratches from earlier;
keeping him close while he hit his final stride. You’d squeeze at his base and it caused faint gasps to erupt in your ear. With his long brown locks gliding over you, (y/n) cupped that handsome face and pulled him into a searing kiss to help ease his mind. “..c-can’t hold it..’m gonna come, princess! I’m coming in this pussy—“ the last words he uttered before you’d feel his stroking come to an abrupt halt and along with a loud groan, his entire load was emptied into your womb.
“Mmmm…yes. Come in me, daddy..let it out.” Encouraging with sweet nothings and slow rubs to his back. He was pumping for nearly an entire minute until you felt it come to a stop and he was left an overwhelmed and overstimulated mess…completely spent and at your whim. He hadn’t been this vulnerable in a very long time and he couldn’t believe that this was future. Fucking this beautiful woman every night until the day he died. Exchanging kisses and breathy ‘I love you’ ‘s in a moment of passion, you’d fall into one another’s grasp and soon after, he’d fall off into slumber.
gently caressing him, you’d place a soft peck to his temple..happily thinking about the fact that he was yours forever now. And just to capture the occasion, you’d reach over for your phone, grabbing the device from the nightstand. Tilting it up, (y/n) let the camera take a couple stills of your half nude bodies. It was a night you’d cherish forever and true enough, the world wouldn’t know who was responsible for that happiness until you were full and well ready.
but a little teaser wouldn’t hurt.
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if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! please check out some of my other stuff in the masterlist. Likes are appreciated but reblogs would mean the world and help me out a TON! Also, considering leaving a little something in the tip jar if you’re feeling extra generous! 🫶🏾
#eren x black fem!reader#eren x black reader smut#eren x black y/n#eren x black reader#eren smut#eren x reader smut#eren x reader#black fem reader#black fanfic writer#smut fanfiction#black fanfiction#black reader smut#aot x black reader#black reader#fanfic#aot smut#eren aot#eren fanfiction#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger smut#attack on titan eren#aot au#musician au#anime#attack on titan smut#attack on titan
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Darling I am SO SORRY for adding yet another request to the already enormous pile but OH MY GOD your buggy family saga keeps me thinking! The way buggy wants to have daughters! The way the twins have regular noses but CONSIDER!!!! him and his lady having a baby girl and AHHHH she got his nose!!! Little cherry baby! At first he's so afraid because of his own I security and then he's DETERMINED that his baby girl will never feel that shame or I security neverrr
Cherry Babies 🍒
- Support me on Ko-fi please, For Ramen 🍜
- Old Man Series
• Buggy is head over heels in Love with his Daughters. Ari and Ali- has shown them off to everyone and holds them constantly.
• "Look at my daughters! They are so beautiful! Makes your baby look ugly!" He laughs at a random villager-
• You having to apologize and just explain he's excited-
• Calls them a host of Nicknames like with the Twins. The boys he always calls Peanuts or Double trouble.
• For the girls he has adopted Cherries or Bubble & Squeak. Mainly due to Ari Seeming to always be blowing spit bubbles which he has to clean and Ali being the more vocal of twin and making a host of random noises.
• He trains Dee and Bee more- Wanting them to learn how to protect their sisters and guard them.
• Speaking of the boys, They love their sisters. At first they were jealous assuming that the babies would steal all of the attention, That was till they returned from the ship after your labor and found that you would be in deep recovery from the birth. So Buggy was dealing with the girls mostly- thats when the boys decided to help their father till you were better and fell in love with them just like Buggy did.
• The twins had become massive helps to You and Buggy. Often without even needing to be asked-
• A few weeks after the birth Buggy walked into the nursery to check on the girls and found Dee asleep leaned next to the crib were the girls were and Bee asleep on the floor.
• Buggy had never felt such a strong swell of pride before and picked up the boys and tucked them into their proper beds that night. A smile on his face the whole time
• If anyone mentions their noses- GOES APE SHIT
• A nurse was the first one to be on the end of this treatment- It was there one month check up and the Doctor had given the clear the girls were happy and healthy. He had brought his assistant a young male nurse with him to help with things like weighing both twins and documenting results.
• Buggy caught his eye staring at thier noses and his eyes narrowed dangerously. The nurse fucked up though when he said 'Do we check the noses?.. was that normal?"
• The Doctor and you knowing that there was no stopping Buggy as he screamed in the Nurses face and proceeded to beat him to death-
• He will constantly be paranoid something Is wrong with the girls.
• "(Y/N) Why is she crying like this?" He panics as he holds Ari who is crying hard. You walk over calmly to see the man on the verse of tears as you do a quick check over and touch her rounded stomach which immediately leads to a dart and her quieting down.
• "She just has gas-" Buggy stares "Oh-"
• When the twins open their eyes and start to look around Buggy is overjoyed. Especially when he sees they have his eyes, Is immediately swooned.
• AKA HE THROWS A PARTY
• Buggy of course had thrown another party, Like he did with all his kids it seemed. Dee figuring out how to read the maps- Party. Bee making his first Bomb- Party so now that the girls had opened their eyes- PARTY
• It's a massive event with his entire crew involved. Food, Music, Drinks, the works.
• You catch him buzzed off his ass swaying to some music while holding the twins against his chest. You go to protest and scold him- But notice he is actually levitating by his ankles to keep from tripping as well as using the baby scarf to hold them up.
• It was oddly cute? Here was this pirate, high bounty and nasty reputation red in the face singing along to the music while holding his daughters.
• Ari is wide awake looking around at all the new things while Ali is peacefully asleep cuddled into Buggys chest.
• When he turns you see Bee asleep on his back, like a piggyback ride.
• You of course snap the picture of Buggy holding three kids at once.
• Will want to set back to sea by the Girls 3rd month and has the ship ready by then. He knows its difficult but feels safer on the sea then on land ironically as well as He has been on this island for a year and doesn't want to lose his reputation.
#x reader#one peice x reader#one piece#one peice live action#buggy one piece#buggy the clown x reader#buggy x reader
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Filthy Animals
Shawn sighs trying to focus on his algebra book again to study as he hears all the noise coming from the living of the apartment he shared with his roommate.
He couldn't have any worse luck than living with the most sexist, grossest, filthiest, and DUMBEST guy he've ever met, Jaden was watching the football match with his bunch of good-for-nothing bros again, or apes, like Shawn liked to call them, filling the house with the obnoxious sound of their dumb laughs and bodily functions, Shawn swore he couldn't pass five minutes without hearing (or smelling, even from his room) a belch or fart those ogres would let out, and then giggle like toddlers cuz it was so much fun for them.
"BOOOOOUUUUURRRRRPPP" the jock lets a fat bassy belch out after drinking a whole can of beer "Woooh Broo! Hahaha, that was a fucking BEAST! ah?" He says joking with his slob peers as they all agreed while watching the game or commenting about the breast or butt from the cheerleader girls they were dating on.
It was already enough for him, as he made his way out of his room decided to confront him, he found him on the couch wearing nothing but his nasty underwear and a hand under it as he scratched his balls casually, Shawn grimaced.
"Y'all will never behave?! I can hear your disgusting noises from my room, You animals!" He said, almost red from rage, but Jaden simply letted a goofy laugh with the dumb smile and look he always had, same with his dudes.
"Lil bro, relax a bit, we're bonding as we men should do, you afraid to cut the cheese or what?" he smirked as he lifted one of his legs and pointed right at Shawn, he grunted and before the poor guy could do anything "Protein fart bomb!".
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!
The putrid stink of the protein combined with the beer and all that food he and his friends were eating hitted Shawn almost immediatly, making him gag and feeling nauseus, wanting to run to the bathroom and throw up, while Jaden was having a good laugh and fist bumping with his all his bros, some even responding with another fart just to bother Shawn more "Damn i fucking stained my briefs with that one hahaha" Jaden said smiling, and it was no joke as even Shawn could see the brown mark on them, horrifying him.
"Ewwww! STOP YOU BRUTE!" He covered his nose "You are an ANIMAL" he hissed giving him a killer look.
"What is your damn problem?" It was then when Jaden got done with his whines and looked at him "Why dont you fucking relax and start acting like a man? You could even join us if you wanted" He offered, for Shawn's surprise, but the nerd was so mad that he made a disgusted face at the idea of it.
"I wouldn't join a group of slobs without manners who only know how to think with their cocks and fart or belch non-stop like fucking pigs, You are so dumb that you cant even count past 10 or say your own names correctly!" He stated, The jocks made overexaggerated gasping sounds, seeming offended by it, Jaden just stared with a neutral expression, his 'you're dead already' look perforing him deeply. Shawn quite started to fear him once he lost his sudden dose of courage.
"We'll see who ends up being the animal here, lil bro" was all the jock said before focus on the game again, leaving Shawn with a bad feeling running throught his spine as he rushed back to his room.
"Idiot... He just wants to scare me" He said as he seated again in his chair to continue his studying for the rest of the night, A little worried tho, for Shawn he just said the truth, but he didn't know what the immature and stinky athlete could do to him, time after overthinking about it he decided go sleep, unaware of the plan the Jocks at the living were making in that moment.
During the next morning, Shawn woke up around 9 am, so he supposed Jaden would probably be at the gym before his training, he got out his room and walked to kitchen to have some breakfast, but to his surprise he was there, still in his undies as always when he was home , eating some brownies from a plate that was in the table, before smiling at the nerdy guy "Brodaah!, you want some of these? My girlfriend brought me brownies cuz she made some for the annual campus event tomorrow, but i can share" he said, as innocently as he could sound, Shawn narrowed his eyes at him and then at the brownies
"If you farted on them i swear i'll throw them to you" he threatened, Jaden rolled his eyes, grabbing another "Bro, grab some, i didn't put anything nor poisoned them, ya paranoid" He said "I left the white chocolate ones for you, i ate the rest"
The pale guy doubted for a sec, but then he thought that Jaden maybe couldn't even be that smart to think on something to ruin the food, he was the last of his class and his IQ didn't pass over 65.
He slowly extended his arm, and picked up a brownie, he sniffed it before "Smells a bit rare... What did she use to bake them?"
Jaden simply proceeded to shrug "they tasted good to me, just try one bruh! You wont regret" The jock said once again, Shawn looked at it unsure of what to do, after some eternal seconds, he sighed and finally bited the brownie, gulping it down his throat once finished
"Eh... Actually it wasn't so bad-" He got interrupted by a huge growl, coming from his deep gut in his stomach, he held it in pain with a hand, and somehow for some reason he started to feel a bit... Bloated.
"What the hell was in that?!" The nerdy guy looked in horror the taller jock, who just dedicated him an evilish and satisfied grin.
"You'll see, lets just wait it does its effect" He said, Shawn tried to run, but he couldn't move neither "This is bullsh-..SHIOOooOOOUUURRRRPP" a wet then deep and smelly belch made its way out of him out of nowhere, but instead of feeling ashamed, that burp seemed to take all the worry out of him and leaving him on a slacking and relaxed state.
"Cool haha" Jaden approached him, seeing the scrawny boy with a lost look standing there "Now we can start... Where should we... You said we were animals, but what if i tell you you are one too? Man, you even smell worse than me, just sniff your pits!"
Shawn proceed to lift his arm and sniff deeply, he showered daily, but now his armpits immediatly took a fetid and rank odor that could make even the strongest faint.
"And you also said we dont have manners, remember? You dumbass, we both know your fumes are deadly, you love to let it rip bruh hahaha"
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!
That blast made Shawn's pants vibrate at the bass from that fart, with each gas he letted out, his expression seemed more and more relaxed and drool scaped from his lips.
"You forgot you are such a dumb jock" Shawn made a goofy laugh at that as he scratched his butt.
"Such a dumb and gross jock"
"BOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUURRRRRRP" was Shawn's response this time.
"You truly are an animal, dude, so dumb and filthy i cant imagine how you are even able to talk haha"
"Du... Dumb hahaha" A new deep voice came out of his throat, and then he belched again before grinning stupidly.
"Oh and, for the record" he made a pause "I did farted on those brownies, but just yours man, and Bryan could possibly rubbed them in his ass... And Wesley maybe burped on them too, i dunno, just enjoy the extra flavor haha"
Shawn never felt more dizzy or dazed in all his life, not that it mattered now tho, his life now was being a hot dumb and smelly jock, blasting burps and farts as if it was his own breath, it felt good to be dumb, it felt good to act like a man.
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Will I ever stop pathologising the AP main characters and creating incredibly detailed backgrounds riddled with childhood trauma? It’s unlikely!
(INSANELY LONG) (LIKE INSANELY) (YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED) EXPLANATIONS BELOW
(And If you have hc’s feel free to share!)
Patrick: cmon. The entire plot of AP is literally him just begging to be noticed.
Bro is devoid of attention right until the very last scene (aka the one with his lawyer). Sorry to all the SiGmA mALe AMPS fans but this is not a “sigma 🥶”, this is a man who did not receive a MORSEL of affection during his formative years.
His obsession with ‘fitting in’ (ie being accepted and therefore cared about) through his clothes, his looks, his social circle; his outbursts of intense emotion and inability to regulate them (almost as if he was never taught how to do so); the way he views the women in his life in an almost maternal way (namely Evelyn and Jean) - he just needs a hug!!!
And some intense therapy. And heavy duty psych meds.
Paul: this one is partly canonical, partly not.
The way that his character is almost revered by the other guys at P&P is interesting; he comes over as this über cool, competent, successful finance bro almost to a greater extent than they think they are.
But then he gets drunk with Patrick away from the office and from the constraints of corporate professionalism and becomes this silly goofy little guy.
I don’t necessarily think his work ‘persona’ is an act: I think it’s the parts of himself that he has to accentuate in order to succeed.
Also - I took influence for this from the amazing Paul character studies written by my dear friend @leoblooms on AO3 - please check them out
Luis: this one is pretty self-explanatory.
He’s the only confirmed canonically queer character in AP (although, come on, Patrick’s canon closet is made of glass at this point). And yet - in a way that so many LGBT+ people have suffered with throughout history and sadly even to this day - he can never, ever show it. Being openly gay in his environment would make him a social pariah.
Instead, he has to fit in: he’s marrying a woman, he’s acting like ~one of the guys~, he’s hoping that he can suffocate that part of himself by burying it six feet underground. But as so many of us know all too well: you can’t hide who you are forever. The bathroom scene with Patrick just proves this.
I also wanted to make a note of this because it’s very interesting to me - I read the most AMAZING fic a couple of years ago that was written from Courtney’s perspective, and in it it was mentioned that Luis is Catholic. I’m a Christian as well (from a famously progressive denomination) and although a lot of attitudes are changing within the Catholic Church, particularly right now, the ‘gay = sin’ mentality does prevail for many.
So it makes sense that if Luis was raised Catholic he has been suppressing that part of himself for a very long time. I can see him lying to himself and having girlfriends in high school.
Courtney: my literal baby girl. I’ve written a whole 18k character study on her because I find her so canonically fascinating.
My headcanon is that her father was absent from her life from a young age - but this is rooted in how she actually acts in the source material.
In the boardroom scene, Luis thanks Patrick for “taking care of Courtney last night”. To me, it sounds like he’s taking on a role that’s almost paternal. She is also notably reliant, and almost clingy, on the men in her life: telling Patrick she can’t go out because she’s waiting for Luis to call, and practically begging Patrick to call her after they’ve slept together.
Additionally there’s the whole ‘fucking my best friend’s boyfriend’ thing - I’m getting WAY off topic here but I see so much of her in Cassie from Euphoria. Unless someone is purposefully malicious and nasty, I think there’s always a reason for that kind of thing, even if it is complex and unsavoury.
I hate to use the term “daddy issues” because it absolves absent/abusive fathers of all of their damage and unfairly places the blame on young women, but if I had to describe a reason for why she might act in this way - having seen it first-hand myself from many people - that would be it.
Evelyn: so I did take some influence from Reese Witherspoon’s character in Legally Blonde here - but I think Evelyn is actually one of the smartest characters in AP and so I feel it’s fitting.
She comes over as incredibly ditzy and shallow, but remember we’re seeing and reading all of this from Patrick’s perspective - of course he’s not going to have a high opinion of her, because…it’s Patrick Bateman were talking about here.
In reality, she’s probably one of the most socially clued-in characters. For example: she effortlessly hosts big gatherings with grace and decorum even if the majority of guests are, let’s be honest, fucking insufferable.
She’s also the only character who can actually handle Patrick and meets him on his own level. She absolutely refuses to take any of his bullshit (“what am I supposed to do with that? Floss with it?”).
Her actions and force prove her to be the strong willed and savvy and to me that suggests intellect, as much as it may be hidden - again, due to the environment she exists in.
Bryce: he’s so interesting.
I’ve not written as much about him in my fics as the others, but his actions in the source material suggest that underneath his finance bro Wall Street image, he’s someone who’s very disillusioned, and almost broken.
I really wish the scene of his…episode?…in the club hadn’t been cut from the film. I’d recommend anyone to watch it (and the rest of the deleted scenes because they’re class) if they’ve not seen it already.
There’s also The Informers, the book and film adaptation of another of of Bret Easton Ellis’ works, which features a young Tim Bryce (referred to as Price) and the complex relationship with his father. I’ve not read/watched it in full yet, but whilst they’re on holiday Bryce’s father gets drunk and acts lecherous and gross towards young women on the beach, and Bryce is disgusted by this (perhaps he’s not as much of a raging misogynist as his peers?), and then makes ‘joking’ comments about Bryce being the subject of attraction by other men, to which Bryce walks out on him (perhaps he’s less condemning of homophobia than the others? Or, possibly…maybe he has less than hetero feelings himself? Not to spoil any of Mergerizations but I headcanon him as bisexual tbh).
This behaviour suggests that, at least as a teen, Bryce was very assertive of what was and wasn’t okay and was happy to make these views known.
But due to bullying by his father and, again, the environment that he likely grew up in, he has to suppress this part of himself to be accepted.
WOWWWW that was a whole ass essay. If you’ve read to this part, 1) I’m sorry 2) THANK YOU 3) I love you!!!!
#american psycho#patrick bateman#american psycho memes#bret easton ellis#mary harron#christian bale#gay#lgbtq#patrick bateman x paul allen#paul allen#lesbian#biseuxal#trauma#childhood trauma#daddy issues#character study
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II: GUT DEVILS
Pilot ID: Erica Trương, tertiary escort and point-defense operative of the Fledgling Seventh Fleet
Status: Active
Current Assignment: Supervisor for preliminary acclimation of Pilot ID "Sidewinder"
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Sortied with the new girl today. The ratty one that still wears Earth denim. The one who cut her hair with the backblast on my mech's heat exchanger.
She ain't shit.
Oh, she'll tell you she is, make no mistake, boasting about her wetwork on the Periphery. Big fuckin' talk for an academy washout. Mercenary piloting isn't something to be proud of, not like the Corps. At least if I die it's for the Septarchy. For something real.
She mocked my umbilical too, the little bitch.
They stuck her with me as a gunner and a haptics backup. Made us share a cockpit too, even though my mech's always been a one-man setup. Command said my injuries made me a liability.
They gave me a babysitter. Fucking horseshit.
If you see any drops in accuracy, it's because of her. She kept misbehaving. I couldn't keep line of sight.
Words carry well in the oxygen medium. Her voice is like a gravel driveway: flat, dark, coarse, dust coming off the words, like she dug them out of her chest.
Out of rubble. Like a brick.
"So, the mech eats for you?"
Of course it does, you fucking idiot. Command won't pay me enough for another jaw. I said yes just to shut her up.
"Can I see?"
Then she just climbed out of her harness. She ran her hands on everything, spidery little fingers pawing at my fucking umbilical with her bare skin, cinching it to see if it hurt.
It did. Kind of. Something like pain. It's why I'm clumsier on the readouts, by the way, Command. Strike it off my record.
"What else can it do for you?"
I told her that Septarchy mechs can make anything, do anything. The cockpit's a womb, after all, it's not special. Pilots just borrow it and pull the body's strings with their fists. Standard procedure.
Every bioframe's been able to do full-body life support for decades. It's why I never leave. Why they grafted my endocrine system and my liver and my pelvis into the wall and filled my torso's empty space with surveillance equipment and gyroscopes.
Then I told her not to fucking touch anything else and to get back in her seat.
She ignored me. Figured she would. Somehow it stung.
Then we took an AP round to the calf and I screamed all undignified and she stole the reins out from under my hands.
She pretended to care that we were live-fire, sat herself in my lap, hung off the port for the secondary trigger by the loose notochord in her right wrist. Nasty craftsmanship on her neural jack, by the way, probably a custom job she did with a dendrite kit and a sharp stick. Completely unsanitary.
I saw the tendons strain. She blinked, bit her tongue, made a spot of blood in the water between us, nailed a bogey from ten thousand meters. Clean.
Lucky shot.
The muzzle flash shone through the mech's skin when she did it, a plume of gossamer light, like a halo, falling in blinding ropes through her charred hair.
Dumb little clocky gut devil. Stop distracting me, goddammit.
The sortie was over two minutes after that. Septarchy won, no casualties, Periphery force 100% KIA. She got eight kills. I got one.
Whatever.
She stepped on my chest when we were getting pulled out of the mech for decon. Then she stole my thunder when we docked and Command gave us honors—oh yeah it was no biggie, thank you so, so, much, really it means the world to me—as if she did everything herself. As if I wasn't fucking driving.
No, she's not a professional. Far from it. She would've pissed in the medium if I wasn't there, the fuckin' slob. Now the entire cockpit smells like her.
Earthy, like Periphery dirt, silicate-rich. A hint of cheap liquor. Sweat and plastic and denim and testosterone, powerful but suppressed, made graceful through discipline and chemicals.
She borrowed some of the mech's estrogen when I wasn't looking, I think. My estrogen. Little goddamn leech. Thief. A disgrace to the Corps.
I want any superior officer that sees this report to listen to me, and listen real fuckin' close. She's a menace. The next time she sorties with our compliment, get me five minutes alone with her while we go through pre-flight checks. She owes me.
Whatever she stole, I want it back.
#my writing#science fiction#scifi#biopunk#mecha#flash fiction#microfiction#original writing#gristlebits#sarcoclast#queer artist#body horror#cw: body horror#transgender#transfem#wlw#sapphic#cockpit girlsmell
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the magicians s2e4
i would apologize for being this late on this but one this is for funsies and two i was just in hell (two weeks of law school finals) so i'm catching up
close up on q's nasty fucking wound to start things is like... it's such a choice
i know we're being serious right now but that surgeon has the biggest dick.
ah it's so nice to see the start of responsible monarchs el and margo
ABIGAIL APPEARANCE !!!!!!
"blow all our cash on sappy nonsense" and "since when are you fillory quentin? SINCE I'M ME" are both really gonna get me. margo is so interesting AS ALWAYS but also you ever think about how we don't really delve into her backstory that much? she is pure characterization it's so fucking good. not that i don't want to know more about her backstory because dude i really fucking do but i find it impressive what they can do for her even without it.
aw "i don't belong here" el is so soon going to be "fillory is my home" el
the best bitches era begins
i love how much of this show, The Magicians, is about how hard it is for them to get and use magic
reallllllly good look on margo here in the classroom
i think it's interesting that they characterize niffining out as dying. this world would have a field day with vampires. wait are there vampires in this show? am i forgetting?
what the fuck is el wearing in bed
oh fen i'm sorry your husband is hung but also gay
YOU FREEZE-DRIED HER CORPSE?
i love q's wooden shoulder i wish we talked about it more
frankly i am extremely intrigued by the nurse who was so grateful for the centaurs' help that she swore fealty to them and their healing project. and kind of q should have done that. like immediately after waking up.
your benevolent overlord high king eliot
q is so defensive and territorial he's such a little terrier
sawbones ?????
"doing your clone is more like ap-level masturbation" fascinating take from eliot and that is exactly what i would have expected from him
BEST BITCHES !!!!!!! absolutely my favorite little piece of magic in this show for functionality and for darling sentimentality
party king todd it's what you deserve
your actual kingdom is actually at stake!
i guess idk how niffins work because why did they bury alice
i'm sorry... white lady?
not to be surprised every time this show is great with characterization but penny calling them bronies... yeah
who loves blood? woman standing emoji
q chopping penny's hands off is such a funny scene this show man
javier you little minx
god the el/javier el/fen scene is so good. also i want to know how el does his eye makeup because it's so sexy.
i have to say q and penny's relationship is one of the most intriguing in this show i wish they'd had more time
plover was constantly naming fillory things different things like a settler on native lands this dude SUX
q and penny going on a quest in their little footy pajamas
WHERE ARE MY STUFF TOUCHERS !!!!!!
just to circle back it's insane that julia is just hiding out in brakebills copying an entire fucking book
not enough said about the tragedy of el being tethered to fillory... having nothing left on earth but never getting the chance to resolve what hurt him there, a man whose greatest fear is that he's unapproachable and unlovable and he has to perform to get people to stay and now he has to pray that people come to him. you know. like. ahhhhhhhhh.
"they more, like, gave it to us" common colonizer sentiment sorry el i love you BUT
you have no one and you deserve no one is so raw. i love julia and i love margo and i hate when they fight because they should be kissing but frankly? margo is right on this. NOT on her having no one just on the julia why did you do all that.
god i love the fucking books.
ooh. it's a girl's.
you know this show is good because everybody wants everybody. or at least you can imagine they do. yes penny just told q he needs him.
margo leaving her conversation with julia to develop the position of "we owe it to her because we weren't her friends"
god this is so dumb but using the book as an ingredient in spellwork is so fun what a fun little thought
MARINA I'M SO SORRY WAAAHHHHHHH I'M SO SORRY MARINA
also really good piece of acting from kacey rohl talk about having a whole character inside you like whew
yeah calling it "rebuilding" q is a fascinating through-line that gets dropped
god these people and wanting to bring people back to life. the magicians never ever lets things go. it's soooooooo. there are walls that technology and talent and ability will always butt up against and they aren't surmountable and you just have to accept it. but you can't. because what's the point of those things if they can't do that.
i'd like to be happy can you do that :-(
jason ralph's read of "well that's comforting" is gonna get to me
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Latina, bruja and a OP fan? I am sold!!! Also latina (Brazilian bdw) also, Luffy with a bruja s/o? Maybe a with a little more focus on the curandeira side of things? Thank you, love your blog
bear note: omg thank you so much! love my brazilians, y’all’s good though chefs kiss 😩❤️ anyways yes!! I must complete the monster trio with this 😭❤️! all im going to say luffy with more of a curandera s/o is more cursed (the shit I see happen for context of those what people don’t know a curandera is
A curandero/curandera is a traditional native healer/shaman found in Latin America and the United States. A curandera is claimed to administer shamanistic and spiritistic remedies for mental, emotional, physical, and "spiritual" illnesses.
Luffy w/a curandera s/o (latina reader)
Luffy x latina reader
post type: head canon
-if luffy had a curandera for an s/o (that’d be you), you’d be choppers doctoral assistant, or a holistic nurse
- he supports you, as long as you support his dream being pirate king, he’ll support you and your curanderismo
- “Y/n makes all of these jars with shells, rocks! And this liquid called Florida Water!! she speaks highly of it I remember she used it on me this morning! I felt more relaxed after fighting a marine!”
- cleansing his energy from the nightmares he’ll have.
-“y/n! I had a dream this morning, and I don’t know what it means!-“
- you’re the one treating his wounds
-“EWW IT TASTES NASTY!”
-“it’s not supposed to be consumed. It’s vaporub. Now hold still amorcito or your cold is going to get worse.” you’ll be stern with him, and flick his head.
-“I feel better y/n! Thank you thank you thank you!!!” When he finds out you have talented skills when it came to healing he was shocked.
-“YOU DO MAGIC?!” He’s like a little kid with stars in his eyes. It’s super duper adorable 🥹
-“GUYS Y/N IS A HEALER!! SHE DOES MAGIC!!! LOOK AT WHAT SHE CAN DO!!” Will do his best to hype you up, and make sure you’re good enough.
-“Y/n, I found you a rock it was pretty like your eyes! You should put it in a potion!”
-“ i got you more Florida water!!”
-“ I had nami and sanji go get your supplies of herbs that you needed, so we can spend some time together!”
-“so do we eat the egg?”
-“no. we dispose of it, it has all of the negative energy we needed to release.”
-“but can we eat eggs?” he’ll give you puppy eyes
-“Luffy you barley like eggs-“
“sHUT AP!”
- sanji thinks your hands with cooking are said from the gods 💀
-“oh y/n swan! the way you execute that menudo dish is magnificent! Extravagant divine!!!”
-“wait! I wanna taste it!!”
-“OMG THIS IS AMAZING! Y/N YOURE ON DINNER DUTY TONIGHT EVERYONE WILL LOVE TO EAT THIS!!” Let’s just say luffy didn’t even get full.the whole crew agreed that this soup is a comfort dish indeed. It became everyone’s go to soup on the seas. Let me just tell you. Everyone was so full.
- If your abuelita and tias saw how much he can eat. They’d be so happy and compare him to everyone like
“why can’t you eat like y/n’s boyfriend luffy,”
“Mama he’s rubber, and HES A PIRATE!”
“y/n! Look I found you a rock! It reminded me of you!”
-“Y/n!!! Play with meeee!!!!”
-“I can’t right now amor I’m working.” You’ll be cleansing chopper,ussopp, robin, nami, zoro and sanji. With copal and smoke, waving it all around them.
“What are you doing ?!”
“SHH!! SHES CLEANSING!” everyone knows that you need it to be quiet when cleansing. If not you’re going to lose focus. trust the curandera you don’t want to ruin it.
- He really tried to eat the copal, and Florida water that was being sprayed.
-“LUFFY!”
-he’ll just cough the shit out and laugh out loud
- “Im okay *will immediately get distracted* ooh taste earthy.”
-“At least he’s cleansed. WAIT WHAT ABOUT THE DEVIL FRUIT POWERS BEING GONE!?” Chopper will screech on the top of his lungs poor bby
-everyone will sigh in relief realizing that he’s okay , and he in fact is still a rubber man.
- instead he started acting like a fucking goat
-looking at the bottle you saw the label with a goat potion that was poorly drawn. You didn’t even think about the fact that your boyfriend would outsmart his crew and his partner.
- “See guys THIS IS WHY WE DONT FUCK WITH BRUJERÍA AND ALWAYS LOOK !!!?” you’re stressed the fuck out after a minute of overly researching how to save your boyfriend
-“GOTCHA!!” You’ll hear him pick you up and laugh. As you’re crying in frustration smacking him!
-“PINCHÉ! COCHINO!! LUFFY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW WORRIED I WAS!? WHAT IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY PUT AN ATTACHMENT ONTO YOU!” you we’re scolding him, and nami even punched him for you.
-“whatever it doesn’t matter, I’m just happy you’re okay my captain.” You’ll hug and kiss his cheek.
-“that was fun we should do that again!- wait imagine if I actually turned into a goat.” Y’all will just laugh
- “wait Lu! I have a question what did the bottle you drink say?”
-“oh it had a horseshoe, berrys, and gold.”
-“aye wey.” you facepalmed at the fact he drank a luck oil. All it took was to find loads of food, and be rewarded with abundant amounts of you guessed it.. meat.
- it’s an adventure to have luffy as your partner while you’re a curandera on the ship. You’re kinda like the second mom of the ship (robins mom, franky is dad.) it’s so adorable that the both of y’all are passionate about y’all’s dreams, and planning to accomplish those dreams together 🥹❤️
#luffy x latina reader#one piece imagines#luffy x reader#mugiwara luffy#strawhat luffy#luffy x y/n#luffy x poc reader#one piece x reader
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CHARACTER RAMBLINGS THAT WONT LEAVE ME ALONE!! YES ITS ABOUT TWO BRAINS
Something that im really worried about with my characterization of two brains is that im de-fanging him as a villain.
While he has moments of sincere kindness (like when he gives wordgirl a comb on her birthday, unprompted, or when he helped her literally all day for a presentation; in a lot of their conflicts, they seem to be roleplaying a hero and villain. yknow), he can also be really cruel (ie, in the ep where he kept interrupting wordgirl from her normal life, to the point she complained, he said something along the lines of “i dont care”; in mousebrain takeover, he nearly killed her).
[IF YOU WANT TO KEEP READING THIS MASSIVE ESSAY OF A POST, GO UNDER READ MORE! YOUVE BEEN WARNED, THIS IS REALLY LONG. I MIGHT CUT IT LATER BUT I PROBABLY WONT </3]
While the nasty parts of his personality could easily be chalked up to Squeaky, i dont think thats a fair or interesting take because this denies the autonomy that im pretty sure Boxleitner retains to a certain degree -- plus this gives the character more complexity! Maybe Boxleitner enjoys being evil! Maybe the theatrical side (like when 2 brainz was essentially giving kid math superhero cues, or whenever two brains tries to make any of his crimes a spectacle) is Boxleitner being devious and having fun?
So anyway, here comes the crux of my dilemma, and a similar dilemma i think that the wordgirl crew also had when we see that they didnt bring Boxleitner back: i love two brains as a villain too much and losing him would be really sad!!! Also, there was a post on here (i lost it though, sadly, so if anyone has it please share!!) talking about how what a character deserves is not necessarily what the plot calls for -- I think that this applies here quite well. We would all love to see Boxleitner back, but without a significant plot reason, that wouldn’t make for an interesting narrative, especially in regards to how this relates to wordgirl the character. However, if we look at the last ep that two brains was in before the show ended, it’s the mind-switching ep! And in that ep, two brains was essentially Boxleitner again (though he kept referring to his human half as two brains... inchresting), and he essentially was trying his best to be a hero for wordgirl. I like to think of this as the sign that Boxleitner coming back could have happened had the show been able to go for longer and have more lore significant moments (like secret spaceship showdown)! Man I am really hoping for a well-done carmen sandiego-esque reboot where story can take a front seat to the educational aspect (but dont get rid of it, i like the words).
Another thing I wanted to bring up was that in the pilot of the show, two brains was seen to be having inner conflicts between Boxleitner and Squeaky a la Jekyll and Hyde, but this was cut due to being too dark for a really young audience. However, I wanted to put a twist to that (i know this is cringe but please bear with me): in the pilot, Boxleitner is made aware of there being an audience of kids out there, so I wonder if he tries very hard to not show his struggle to kids, including to wordgirl. So what the audience sees is a silly mouse guy who is delightfully dastardly, while in actuality Boxleitner has to hold himself back from being worse or truly hurting people. I don’t find this hard to believe given that Squeaky was gung ho for murdering a little alien girl and her ape friend. (But there’s also that interesting twist that Boxleitner may also have enjoyed the creativity of his villain persona, given that we see his inventions being absolutely bonkers nuts like a time stopping device??? or a huge magnet that can pull heavenly bodies???).
To that end, I dont see two brains separating voluntarily. First factor is time - hes been stuck for so long, and this has become familiar. Also, there is a chance that he may not feel like there’s anything left for him as Boxleitner -- throughout the series we dont really see a mention of his family, save for mention of a “niece” (i think this was the ms power ep) and a young lady he was in a photo with (in the new years’ ep). I’m guessing the lady is a younger or older sister, and that the niece is her daughter --> judging from the photo, and how he has kept it, I am thinking that he had a good relationship with her, and judging from how he was able to go to her niece’s graduation, they maintained contact even after he was Mous-ified.
Personally, my perspective on Boxleitner’s Backstory is that he was in a bad home, but he and his sister were close and managed to get out via college. Boxy just went into something like chem or biochem. He became a professor at Fair City (with an ulterior motive of meeting a superhero that hes heard of that lives there), teaching chem or whatever, and doing research into public service/superheroing on the side (very stressful, as hes running out of funding and nobody thinks this is a worthwhile venture). He is never able to catch up to wordgirl, and constantly misses meeting her -- in fact he is never able to see her clearly since shes zipping around too quickly and doesnt stop to talk to people.
At this point, no one has really seen what wordgirl looks like since 1) she barely knows how to be a hero and 2) Huggy is probably more focused on her doing a good job and helping people, and doesnt take into consideration the public aspect of being a hero (we can see in the show that he’s very protective of her identity - he probably doesnt want her to be seen for too long). One day, on his way to a presentation, he is saved by a very young wordgirl (probably around age 6-7)! He’s shocked that Fair City’s hero is a little girl, and he is instantly like “where are your parents???” etc. etc. but upon meeting Boxy, she finds in him a mentor that can help her with superhero-ing alongside Huggy (if Huggy helps with her alien powers, then Boxleitner helps her with being human). He goes 100% into research and publishing that superheroes and you book and sort of foregoes his professor responsibilities in favor of helping out wordgirl full time and working as a researcher for fair city. This leads to struggles with presentations and grant denials and other things that plague academia (screaming crying), things that wordgirl is unaware of (she is BABY) and also the audience doesn’t see (Boxleitner is a king of repression). As for Squeaky, I sort of see that as a project of ego --> not really for the benefit of science, but mostly for the spectacle and to remain relevant as a researcher. He was essentially pulling an Icarus after a bunch of fails and the need to do something good. Maybe I’m looking into this too deeply, but whatever thats the joy of life!!!
ANYWAY, all this to say that he never mentions parents and probably wouldnt have a drive to go back to the life he left behind. Except! He loves his sister (otherwise, why would he keep that image of himself and her NEXT TO HIS BED...) and he obviously loves wordgirl. I am wondering if there would ever be a catalyst event that he cannot stand being two brains anymore (maybe hurting wordgirl really bad, emotionally or physically, or maybe guilt has caught up to him or maybe he has grown horribly tired of losing all the time). I would imagine there being an invention mishap or an accident that throws them into a new situation --> picking up the pieces of being shocked into a new situation could prove to be interesting in seeing how characters respond to this change.
To conclude, I am conflicted with where to go --> I see Boxleitner trying so hard to help wordgirl with being a hero, especially considering that as she grows older shes going to need more help with problems like with violet or facing villains that get tougher and tougher like rhyme and reason; despite his help, he falls short and has to deal with the fact he was not as there for her as he should have. Or Boxleitner decides that he wants to stay a villain (I love two brains i hate to see him go). Personally I think the first option seems more interesting in how he can adjust to this new life and there are interesting themes of consequences and forgiveness to be explored there.
Ok thats all folks! Until next time :-)
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favorite lyrics comp
"Oh, you mad? Then come at me, you prick
Make a move, better patent it quick
I assume you'll be comin' for blood
That makes two of us, that makes two of us"
Venom
"do your dirty words come out to play when you are hurt ?
there's certain things that should be left unsaid"
Red Crystal Castles
"It's not your fault that you're always wrong
The weak ones are there to justify the strong"
"There's no time to discriminate
Kill every motherfucker
That's in your way"
"If you live with apes man, it's hard to be clean"
The Beautiful People
"Cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you're complacent
I could play nice or I could be a bully
I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be"
Nightmare
"It's strange, whenever I see a gun
I think about just how petty you are
And it blows my fucking mind"
"You want to win the war?
Know what you're fighting for"
"When all is said and done, you'll see
The last man standing gets no pity"
Custer
"Kiss me as if you're punching me, until my lips bleed
Hold me until my ribs make a cracking sound and break"
Suki Suki Daisuki
"I'm a nasty little cunt
Break your teeth and break your heart
Hit you where it hurts and all
Sweetest bitch you've ever known
I'm a nasty little swine
Take and break what is not mine
I'm gonna destroy the world
Sweetest shit you've ever known"
"All I really want is to destroy
One first in ya face while keeping my poise
A pure violation of God's great creation
It's an infestation, it's world domination"
Worldwide Torture
You're alright
There's nothing wrong
Self-sufficience, please
And get to work
Army Of Me
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Melody Maker, 31 May 1986
Words: Paul Mathur
Canine Revenge
Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons
Pulp are from Sheffield and make rather outrageous records. Paul Mathur talks to them of dogs, wheelchairs, Nazis and baked beans.
There's a great big staircase at the back of Sheffield's Wicker. At the top there's two people settling down in the corners of the building. One of them is called Jarvis Cocker and he's hunched behind what appears to be a pile of pianos and a half-completed pigeon loft. "Don't come in," he says, rather overestimating my prowess as a mountaineer.
In another room there's a young man called Russell Senior lying on the floor looking at the ceiling. "Are you ill?" I ask. "No, just resting." These are two members of a pop group called Pulp.
Pulp take me to a room in which everything - walls, tables, sofa - is completely brown, except for a huge plastic bag full of empty Heinz Beans cans. They tell me that it's not an artistic gesture or a performance prop, it's just that the person who lives there likes beans. They furrow their brows and cross their gangly legs and wait for the questions. Pulp were kicked out into the world in 1980. Jarvis was young, fresh faced and just out of school. "I was so soft then. I used to write about love and all that stuff. Now I'm a cynical old get."
Last year Pulp had a single called Little Girl (With Blue Eyes) out on Fire Records. A theatrical trouserless romp around the scenery of love, it didn't get played on the radio and some people said nasty things about its sauciness. "I always thought it was a bit banal," says Russell. "It's a lot less dirty than most of the other records in the charts and yet John Peel wouldn't play it. I can't understand what the fuss is about myself. My mum likes it."
One of the songs on the B-side, The Will To Power, caused even more eyebrows to raise with its remarks about getting back to the spirit of 1933. So Pulp, are you really Nazi stormtroopers? "Well, they had good uniforms... No, of course we're not. The song was written in 1983 when we were living in a real SDP kind of environment, where no one had any opinions on anything. I wanted people to take sides, to get off the fence. I'd been reading about Germany at that time and the class conflict. I liked that atmosphere but obviously not from the point of view of being a Nazi. A lot of left wing statements are too wishy washy, too nice. I like the sharpness of the Moseleyite addresses. They were on the wrong side but they were better organised."
Pulp are better socialists than Billy Bragg and his little wooden guitar will ever be. Fact. "It was quite a commercial single, that one. We want lots of people to buy our records. Being an indie band is like pottering around the allotment. We're not proud of our independence." At this point a hundred thousand birds start to sing at once. Someone is playing a birdsong record but no one's quite sure why. Pulp mouth things silently at me which as the record ends tail off with "... come along to slag off your trousers and say 'look at that spaz in the wheelchair'."
Ah, the wheelchair. Following a particularly daft show of bravado in front of a young lady, Jarvis plummeted from his window and did a fair amount of damage to himself. He took to performing from his wheelchair on doctor's advice but everyone just thought it was a gimmick. "That," says Russell, "was cos you kept on getting up and walking off at the end of performances." "Aye, I suppose so. Playing in a wheelchair made me move my head more though. That's probably what's inspired our new Eurodisco direction."
Pulp's new single, Dogs Are Everywhere, is about as Eurodisco as a piano stool. It's a pensive, very nearly profound composition on, well...
"It's about dogs."
I see.
"Well, it's about dogs in society, male and female. As far as I can work out, man is nearer to dog than ape. The way they shit on your carpet, that sort of thing. Sometimes you feel like a dog, it's like low mindedness, brute instinct over higher values. It's a bit of a dilemma. You get the nobility of lions but dogs are stuck with walking down the pavements being dirty. There's no more pathetic sight in the world than a faithful dog."
What sort of dogs would Pulp like to be?
"Greyhounds, they're fast."
"I'd rather be a cat."
One of the other new songs is called Aborigine and it's about a man who gets married, has kids all through lack of imagination. "I'll tell you one thing about Pulp right. We're not about being grey and dull but we do a lot of wallowing in the dirt so that we can find something better. It's no use going on about the deconstruction of language. Your average man in the street doesn't give a shit about deconstruction of language. We want to convey love in the eggs, chips and beans, we want to carve something between the lines of the everyday world."
A mission, eh? "The only group we all like is Sham 69, especially Jimmy Pursey doing his future dance on 'Riverside'. He blew it all so spectacularly, looked such a total knobhead, it was brilliant. He's our hero."
Pulp. Pulp are...
"It's like when you go to a jumble sale and have to root around under all that Crimplene until you find a real bargain. Actually, I quite like Crimplene. My trousers are made of Crimplene..."
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Ellie’s Blorbo List of 2022
Not gon’ cap, I had a very shitty first 6 months of 2022 and kinda uh….isolated myself (and had no choice but to do so at one point). But I’m here right now. And I’m alive and breathing. And that’s enough for me.
We’re gonna go through some of the characters I chose to be a part of my clan this year as a fun little thing to celebrate being here. And as something to observe me by, this is PALPABLE.
Tag List: (bc i hope y’all want to hear these things) @joz-stankovich, @super-unpredictable98, @badsext, @bisexualnathanyoung, @maerenee930, @seancekitsch, @candyclaw, @magic-multicolored-miracle
Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)
part of the reason I kinda uh….went far under was related to him. But I’m able to enjoy him and keep the nasty stuff at bay now so that’s fun :).
Peter Parker/Andrew Garfield (The Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2, Spider-Man: No Way Home)
I made an entire playlist about Prior Walter. And watched Tick Tick Boom. And part of under the silver lake……I was balls deep in this man’s cinematography, and it was all thanks to No Way Home.
Dr. Otto Octavius/Alfred Molina (Spider-Man 2 and Spider-Man: No Way Home)
Part 2 of my no way home brainrot. This man…..yeah……mhm. I love him so much. Big boy. That’s all.
Cloud Strife (specifically Final Fantasy 7, but he’s a part of the whole franchise)
I’ve had moments with Cloud every now and then, and I’ve decided to include him, solely on the fact that I have over 20 edits of him saved on a google doc. I’ve also never played a single Final Fantasy game.
Eddie Munson/Joseph Quinn (Stranger Things)
I watched season 4 of stranger things as a distraction from the horrors and I never looked back. He is my baby boy and baby girl and Erica and Lucas are my younger siblings. He’s made me feel unlike any other character, especially in the way he makes me want to punch people on tiktok who call cosplay “cringe”, or bully outcasts.
Steve Harrington/Joe Keery (Stranger Things)
babygirl. I want to fix him a nice large meal. And hose him down in the front yard because I know for a fact he needs a bath. I’m cleaning him like a duckling covered in oil. I also watched Spree, and listened to DJO for the first time around September-ish. I’m unstoppable now. Joe Keery’s music is SOLID.
Maxine (Max) Mayfield (Stranger Things)
She’s my bestie. I’m protecting her from all harm in Season 5. Thank you very much.
Morpheus/Dream of the Endless (The Sandman)
He’s my skrunkly little man. I almost put desire too....imagine i put a gif of them on here wow omg.
Prince Sidon (The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild)
This one was mildly short lived, but it happened. I love him so much....shark prince. (fun fact, sharks have not one, but 2 penises) I have not played a single second of any Zelda game.....yet here we are.
Hamlet (Hamlet)
Ok so we read and watched Hamlet in AP English Lit (Branagh’s version with clips from the other) and I was like “this man right here needs therapy”. This is a joke but it’s also not.
Principal Larissa Weems (Wednesday)
I recognized Gwendoline Christie from The Sandman when I saw the trailers for Wednesday and went “oh bet I’m definitely watching this” and I finished this show in less than 24 hours.......yeah I like it. She cares about her students, she’s tall, she’s definitely a lesbian. I love her.
Wednesday Addams (Wednesday)
She’s my bestie, I’m her bestie. She was my first cosplay. That’s all.
Tangerine (Bullet Train)
I watched this movie a whopping almost 48 hours ago. I love him. I want to fix him a large meal. Treat him. That is all.
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I NEVER JUDGED HIM. IN SPITE OF ALL OF HIS IMPERFECTIONS, I AM A FAN OF MAN.
HELLISH HEART. JONATHAN CRANE PLAYLIST FROM MAGS.
BLOOD AND THUNDER by MASTODON // KING RAT by MODEST MOUSE // ROTTEN APPLE by ALICE IN CHAINS // THE DEVIL WEARS A SUIT AND TIE by COLTER WALL // ST. JAMES INFIRMARY by LOUIS ARMSTRONG // YOU BE TAILS, I’LL BE SONIC by A DAY TO REMEMBER // THE LAST by DENZEL CURRY // MOUTH by BUSH // WORLD WAR ME by HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD // READY TO DIE by THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G. // INNERVISION by SYSTEM OF A DOWN // LORD PRETTY FLACKO JOYDE 2 by A$AP ROCKY // RAGE by RICO NASTY // LITTLE DARK AGE by MGMT // WORST IN ME by UNLIKE PLUTO // SPINBACK by COMETHAZINE // A LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN by AVENGED SEVENFOLD // GONE GURU by LIFESEEKER // OZYMANDIAS by RED VOX // LAST KISS by PEARL JAM // DAZED AND CONFUSED by LED ZEPPELIN // DISCO SHIT by 03 GREEDO, KENNY BEATS, FREDDIE GIBBS // AFTER DARK by MISTER KITTY // WHEN IN ROME by MAC MILLER // HOLY MAN by IN THIS MOMENT // DO DO DO by DANSU // FOREST by SYSTEM OF A DOWN // PAINT IT, BLACK by THE ROLLING STONES // LEAVING TONIGHT by THE NEIGHBOURHOOD // 1AM FREESTYLE by JOJI // WASTE by KXLLSWTXCH // HEART-SHAPED BOX by NIRVANA
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Shadows Over Loathing Hobos, Cats & Booze
Welcome to our Shadows Over Loathing Hobos, Cats & Booze guide. Where to find hobos, codes, booze and cats along with companions and how to unlock them. NOTE: A companion and optional cat still to be added. We know that there are people who have a hard time finishing the Shadows Over Loathing game. If you are one of those who find it difficult to finish the game, let's take you to our Shadows Over Loathing guide. #ShadowsOverLoathing
Shadows Over Loathing Hobos, Cats & Booze
Where to find hobos, codes, booze and cats along with companions and how to unlock them. NOTE: A companion and optional cat still to be added.
Shadows Over Loathing Cats
- Calliope
- Once in the store go to the right, a cat is snoozing on the rug and you can ask Jessica about it. This cat wants sardines, which you can get from the cola wars surplus next door. Once you have her boon she gives you plus one to physical armor.
- Ishmael
- Won’t let you pet it until you finish the urn quest. Gives plus one myst.
- Dottie
- Found in Gretas petshop at the lake. You’ll need to go back in time in the hardware store, have an outhouse placed at Greta’s, go through it, help out Grady, and then disarm the mouse trap. You’ll need to pass a skill check when interacting with it for a second time, 4 moxie. When you return, the cat will be fat and willing to be pet. Adds 1 moxie.
- Stinky
- In the pirate food shop in the tunnel through the manhole on the floor. Will need 5 stench to interact with him. Plus 3 sleeze.
- Sprig.
- Cat playing in catnip behind the middle frat. 5 moxie to pet. Plus one muscle.
- Fishermans cat
- Found in the largemouth bass n sons left office. Won’t let you pet her until you help the kids.
- Scylla
- Found in the right office. Unlocked if you had the kids taken home somehow. 20 percent meat drops.
- Boris
- Monster shack, big moist. Only lets you pet after youve helped all kids. Plus 3 spooky
- Hecate
- Found at the lake in the museum in the cream shop. Give her some of the sandwich cream. Plus 3 hot.
- Ghost
- Help the little girl in the maze. Plus 3 cold.
- Maraschino
- Turns up underground in the orchard in grey county after fighting to the worm boss. Doesn't like you're covered in nasty. Plus 3 stench armor
- Abby Abbey
- Finish Jasper’s heist first. Plus 1 max ap.
Hobos
- Gus
- Go to the left when you first arrive in front of your uncle’s shop. There will be a hobo sitting on a bench. Give him 2 meat and leave him to his rain watching.
- Clancy
- Just wandering around on the first map, he wants five meat.
- Obie
- Go to goldwight park, you’ll be asked to as part of the main quest. Talk to the man on the right, and say security. He’ll ask you to run Obie out. Go to Obie in the next screen up, and ask him to go. If you’ve given him fifty meat you can choose as a favor to you and he will.
- Dusty
- When wandering Gabby will give you the address of the boardwalk, and Dusty is right there. Talk to her, and she’ll ask for five meat. Give it to her and she leaves.
- Samuel
- In front of Hirams Grocers. He’ll ask for ten meat, give it to him.
- A hobo at some point will find you wandering and give you the address to the hobo camp-go there and talk to everyone to get hobo codes. The hobo in the car labeled cryptography lets you open up this dialogue option with hobos currently here and those you meet out and about.
- Beanie
- Found in the dump at the lake, trying to drag an oven out. When helped to do so he goes to the hobo camp you tell him about. 5 muscle needed to move the oven.
- PencilHobo
- Found in SIT outside fission chips, he’ll only give you hsi code if you give him an SIT cup for his pencils. Doesn’t go to the camp.
- Still Hobo
- In the second floor of the first frat. Wants 87 meat for a heat before she goes to the camp.
- Ovid
- Found while wandering SIT, takes you to his shop. Can only be recruited to the camp when the king asks you to do so.
- Walter
- Found under the SIT bridge after reading a hobo code. Ask abou fishing and he helps.
- Mossman
- Found in Big moist in moss. Talk to him about his humanity, needing 6 myst.
- Pepperidge Daulphin
- Found in Big moist in a sunken boxcar. Do his quest to recruit him for the camp. Will tell you code once hes there.
- Creamy Steve
- At the lake, at the sandwich museum in the past, vandalise the sign about vagrants and he’ll appear in the present.
- Cornelius
- Grey county, drexel corn maze. Convince him to go to the camp, when he brings his corn a lot of hobos will have corn based gifts for you and some help in areas.
- Beatrice
- Grey county, mcgillacudy farm. Chase out all the ducks before she’ll give you code and leave for the camp.
- Croesus Vanderbilt
- in the blackgold mine behind the vampires once they’ve been chased off somehow.
Speakeasy Items
- Wine
- Under a hobo code in the far right of the speak easy is floor grapes.
- Rum&Gin
- At the lake is a distillery infested with vampires. You can find it wandering, or the mob will ask you to go there, giving you the combo to the lock so you don't have to wiggle in the wall. There is a grate of gin on a shelf. Once past the vampires, there is a crate of rum on the floor.
- Absinthe
- Found in SIT in the maintenance tunnels in Rufus’ room to the right in a jug. He’ll let you have it.
- Barrel of Olives
- Goldwight main. Tunnel through a manhole in the fishman bar. Needs 7 moxie to sneak out.
- Vermouth
- Basement of the first frat house
- Case of whisky.
- A poster at the busstop in the big moist will point you to their shack follow the tire tracks from their house. Go to the cave. Help the brothers by clearing out the gators and fixing their truck.
- Tequila
- Big moist mob submarine. Either peer through the windows w 7 myst or simply put in 19 into the console, then open the torpedo tube to receive it.
- Cocktail Onions
- Grey county, drexel maze, past the crow and down.
- Enchanted ice
- Grey county, macmillicancuddy farm.
- Cherries
- Grey county, after helping the lady in the orchard w her worms.
- Galleon jug of bitters
- Grey county, moleross house, fridge in the wormhole room up and in front of you when you first come in the house, and then through the next one to the right.
Companions
Gabby
Gabby is the first one you’ll meet right in the store itself. She has to accompany you on your first mission to the news store but can be replaced later.
She like all companions has two vignettes. Her first is when you arrive at Crystaldream Lake. Does it a second time layer on.
Obie
Go to goldwight park, you’ll be asked to as part of the main quest. Talk to the man on the right, and say security. He’ll ask you to run Obie out. Go to Obie in the next screen up, and ask him to go. If you’ve given him fifty meat you can choose as a favor to you and he will. You’ll meet him next in the hobo camp, where he can be recruited.
Molly
Turns up outside the store if you agree to work for the mob. Vignette-Grey county, then ocean city. Needs a thousand meat for this one.
Has a third part. Take her to the prison in govt, go in alone and talk to the lady in cell block 3, 3c.
SIT companions
Robotics course, joins you when you finish it. Has two vignettes, one in gray county, one when you return to ocean city.
Professor Adams
Chemicals course. Follow quest until you get the arsenic back. Make bronze reivier. 3132, our it on statue in first room. Joins you for the rest of the chemicals course but can be asked to go to the speakeasy. Vignettes-first got my attention in the sit steam tunnel. Second crysdream lake
Shadows Over Loathing Hobos Codes
Added in the order I found them following the Main and Side quests.
- One in the far right of the speakeasy. Floor grapes.
- Lv2 One in front of the Watchful Eye-easier to see during the day. This gives you something to look up in the Watchful Eye files.
- Lv3 Saint polycarps, right in front of the building. Tells you where to find meat.
- Lv1 outside the salesman boarding house. Just gives you basic info but you still gain the exp.
- Lv6 outside hardware store at the lake. Tells you to ask for candy.
- Lv7 at the dam. Shows you hidden meat.
- Lv9 in the distillery at the lake. It tells you something is in the barrel.
- Lv8 on the sit main. Tunnel wall next to the pirate food shop. Recommends a special.
- Lv10 Goldthwait main. Tunnel. Gives ring.
- Lv6 SIT library stacks, three bookcases in. Gives you book.
- lv11 SIT by the paradox labdoor. Talk to the mopping man about the vector lab to get the hint to remove the chalk. It doesn't matter what buttons you press now, you will receive the no coffee.
- Lv7 roof of SIT building on a steam machine. Has ice cream inside it, keep it for the little girl in the maze.
- Lv9 under the bridge at SIT where rufus asks you to go. Points you to a hobo
- Lv 14 feldman quarry in moist. Lets you know where to find rock candy.
- Lv12 big moist monster shack.
- Manholes
- Lv10 big moist, mob submarine.
- Lv16 big moist barbara yagas house. Tells you to ask her for something.
- Lv7 Lake, sandwich cemetery. Gives you hat.
- Lv15 Grey county bus stop. Advice.
- Lv18 grey county, orchard, worm boss room way at the back. Gives riches.
- Lv15 grey county, ford factory, bunkroom. Ask rufus and hell give you a whistle to dispell the beans. Footlocker combo
- lv14 bathroom of the vampire bar under the boardwalk during the last mob quest. Gives you a suggestion.
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30min Anthology #9
"Master? Mater Arlyml?" spoke a soft voice muffled by the volumes of tomes scattered about the masters study.
A soft knock announced Charlie's arrival as she swung the doors open. A tea set in hand and a curious look upon her carrot topped head. Arlyml couldn't hear the young woman's calls. His head, it appeared, was shoved too deep within his current book. A rather gritty tale about humans huddled within the only remaining refuge from the fallout of a rather nasty magical disaster.
Charlie was quite concerned with the master's habits as of late. For one, he required constant pampering. He could forget the simplest of human needs more often that there were hours in the day. Secondly his obsession with multidimensional theory had his head stuck in the paracausal fabric of dimensional viewing one too many times. In that very moment there was more of him sucked into the dimensional in-between than there was outside of it.
"Mastery Arlyml for goodness sake. You really mustn't go sightseeing without supervision." Charlies finished the thought but immediately chagrined.
All her words were in one ear and right out the next. And Arlyml couldn't blame it on the fact that his head was at the time shoved so far into dimensional space that he was more ass than man.
"Oh Gods, forgive me sir, this might be jarring." Charlies cried, as worry stirred in her heart.
She grabbed Arlyml by his weak ankles, got one leg up onto the table's edge and with the grace of an ape wearing a dress, she ripped the middle aged man from between dimensions. The sound of the feat was an awful lot like the hem of a very expensive gift ripping in two. At the end it gave a little send off that could have been mistaken as a mahogany chair being crushed under the ass of a boulder.
From Arlyml's point of view he watched as everything slowly at first, grew smaller and then without warning all at once, it became a blur stretched out ahead of him until it was drawn ever so thin that it snapped. Where upon Arlyml was stuck upon the face by the thread of the world and sent flying through the void where he was deposited rudely upon his study floor. His trousers ripped about his ankles and the splinters of his favorite chair digging their edges into his back.
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Their Great Adventure Begins!
Tomorrow, @chaos-and-cake heads off to college.
It's not like they are going to be across the country. They are going to be across the county. Just a few miles as the crow flies, bit longer when you take into account a river between us and the insanity that is Philly Traffic. But they are going to be living in the dorm, figuring out their own problems most of the time (though we are always right here!), and truly being an Adult.
Yeah, I'm normal: I fret and worry about how this is going to work out. The university overall seems a good one without any more than the usual number of little snafus and miscommunications that such always have.
And I ask myself: have I prepared them for this Great Adventure? Well, even before they were born, I kept close a copy of Robert A. Heinlein's famous quote, as spoken through his character Lazarus Long:
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.���
- from Time Enough for Love
To my knowledge they have yet to change a diaper, but neither had I before they showed up, and they have at least the same degree of resourcefulness I have, if not greater. Plan an invasion? They have planned as staff for two weeks of LARP camp, and remember it's all logistics. Butcher a hog? I feel they could if they had to, given the appropriate text to hand, certainly they do well with butcher knives. Conn a ship? Kayaking serves, here, I think. Design a building? They are majoring in architecture. Write a sonnet, they could, but they'd probably hate it. :) Balance accounts, they do that. Build a wall? Master of the power tools, this one. Set a bone? Not realistic, but first aid training. Comfort the dying--yeah, had to. Take orders, Give orders, done both in multiple venues. Cooperate, Act Alone, does well with either. Solve equations, AP Calculus anyone? Analyze a new problem, this is where they excel. Pitch manure, well, had to deal with similarly nasty jobs. Program a computer, learned a bit, learning more. Cook a tasty meal? Since age eight. Fight efficiently, Die Gallantly, may they never need to, but I am confident they can if they must.
In short, I feel we have raised the beginnings of a competent adult, one who can spin their own yarn, knit their own socks, build their own bookshelves and other furniture, and research the hell out of anything if they set their mind to it, not to mention work with a room full of hyperactive middle schoolers and keep them as on task as you could expect. (Hey, that's hard!)
So I will turn to another author as I consider what comes next: Walt Whitman.
I am the teacher of athletes;
He that by me spreads a wider breast than my own, proves the width of my own;
He most honors my style who learns under it to destroy the teacher.
The boy I love, the same becomes a man, not through derived power, but in his own right,
Wicked, rather than virtuous out of conformity or fear,
Fond of his sweetheart, relishing well his steak,
Unrequited love, or a slight, cutting him worse than sharp steel cuts,
First-rate to ride, to fight, to hit the bull’s eye, to sail a skiff, to sing a song, or play on the banjo,
Preferring scars, and the beard, and faces pitted with small-pox, over all latherers,
And those well tann’d to those that keep out of the sun.
Good luck, o child of ours. You'll do fine...and we're right here if you need us.
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