#anyways yeah fuck jake honestly
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About Dirk's role in the downfall of DirkJake
I mentioned recently in a post that I don't like DirkJake as much as I used to, and credited that to how Jake treated Dirk before they broke up. I know it's far more popular to say the breakup was Dirk's fault, but I'm here to add my perspective, because I truly don't think this is entirely the case.
Disclaimer, I am BIASED AS SHIT. I LOVE Dirk as a character, I relate to him on many levels, and his breakup with Jake is one of those levels. I was in Dirk's place a few years ago in a near identical situation, with a partner who was dissatisfied with our relationship and refused to tell me, while simultaneously distancing from me in a way which was incredibly unhealthy. I don't hold it against him now, and neither do I hold it against Jake. Both were teenagers. Immature and scared.
However, while this gives me bias, I also think it gives me a unique perspective and experience in this exact situation. I think I have a place discussing this.
So, where to start? Well, first of all, let's establish what the issue was and how it led to the breakup.
After the time skip, we see that Jake is frustrated with how clingy and overbearing Dirk is being. He is overwhelmed by the intensity of the relationship, but is too scared to say anything because he doesn't want to upset Dirk or put them on bad terms. After all, Jake DOES love Dirk, despite what many people think. Having issues with your partner does not automatically mean you don't love them.
In response to Jake's distant behavior, Dirk tries especially hard to impress him, make him happy. Dirk is anxious; he has been lonely his whole life, and has loved Jake for 3 years at that point. He is finally physically close with someone who he loves and is having his feelings returned. But now he senses that he might lose that. Dirk is VERY proactive about his problems, and is notoriously a chronic overthinker.
So, Dirk attempts to "mend" things. He offers adventures and treasure and tombs; Jakes favorite things.
Jake doesn't see Dirk's intentions and is oblivious to how anxious he is. He doesn't read behind the lines and therefore comes to the conclusion that Dirk has just been far too clingy lately.
And so, we have a vicious situation. Jake's reaction to Dirk's clinginess is to hide, and Dirk's reaction to Jake's distance is to overcompensate and be more affectionate. It's a cycle that only gets worse the longer it's left unchecked.
So how can this be solved? Communication, obviously. It's the key to healthy relationships. I feel very strongly about that.
Both parties could do to communicate their exact thoughts, but in reality, Jake is more at fault. Sure, it would help if Dirk were to express specifically that he is anxious about the relationship and that's why he's being more clingy. But realistically, Does Dirk know that? Is he self aware enough of his actions? He never makes it clear whether he is. And him saying this to Jake, while it would help, it would only get them so far.
The responsibility ends up on Jake. After all, Jake is fully aware of the reason for his behavior, we KNOW this. He tells us why he is doing what he's doing. And if he were to express this to Dirk, it would not only soothe his anxiety ("I see, so Jake isn't avoiding me because he doesn't love me/there's something wrong with me") but it would also spark a conversation about what to do about their situation. Perhaps a "I will give you the space you need so long as you don't become too distant/spend time with me" from Dirk, or an "I will spend more time with you so long as you respect my wishes when I wish to be alone" from Jake.
But no, they can't have this conversation, specifically because Dirk does not know WHY Jake is becoming distant. Yes, Dirk DOES know Jake wants space. He is aware of this. But he does not know WHY. This is why he is anxious; he thinks it's because of his own personality or because he is a burden or because he is "toxic" as he often describes himself. And as long as Dirk is anxious, he will become "aggressive" in his clinginess. Sure, you could say this is a negative trait of his, but it can be avoided with communication, VERY easily.
You can say the breakup is Dirks fault all you want, and yes, he plays a role. But my opinion is that if either of them were to be considered a victim of the other, Dirk was the one who suffered more as a result of Jake's refusal to communicate.
#homestuck#hs#dirkjake#dirk strider#jake english#this is one hell of a controversial take#but i stand by it with every goddamn cell of my being#which isnt a lot of cells#but its all i got#so its the thought that counts#i think#anyways yeah fuck jake honestly#im projecting i know#but let me have this
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me about to write an essay on how orange blood is enha’s best comeback/era yet, starting with heeseung fitting the title track very well but also the entire sonic/vibes/concept being a nice blend of the maturity and darker tones enha’s vampy concept has, while also delivering some freshness and brightness that also just kind of comes? with them. that it’s 100% a win for jake and sunoo, in that the the pops of color provide depth and duality that allow for what I would say are more natural and well-excuted expressions and energy they showcase. like not to put anyone in a box, but I think, as seen in sweet venom, there’s opportunities to be playful with a song that sounds a bit darker that other comebacks like bite me didn’t quite have. again, not to say any of the members are incapable of one aesthetic/concept either way, but by approaching a concept and sonic with depth and a blend, it gives the artists opportunity for both growth and showcasing of their strengths.
#like honestly who else gonna pull off that shimmy moments like jake?????#anyways that’s my incoherent thoughts#i’m just very proud of them and very very happy with this whole era vibes for them#like bite me choreo with the girlies you will always be famous#but to me i feel like this comeback was a step up/big growth marker?#conjunction junction#alison speaks?#and again this isn’t just one way#sonic the opportunity for them to show their vocals was cool#the falsettos??? jAY’S FALSETTO?!?!?!??! fuck yeah
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hello!! i love your work!! i was wondering if you could do Johnnie Guilbert smut? i would like the reader to be afab and the fic to include reader and Johnnie with huge sexual tension. the reader comes to his house to make a youtube video with him and Jake and after filming it leads them to doing the deed😓😓 have a great day/night🤍🤍
thank you!! i hope u have a great day/night too <3
want you
female reader
i raised my hand and knocked on the door waiting for an answer. a few seconds went by, and the door finally swung open revealing jake with a wide grin on his face. "y/n! you made it!" jake opened his arms to hug me "of course. i wouldn't wanna miss doing a video with my favorite ladies." i stepped in placing my sweater on the couch. "johnnies in the room, we're all set up." jake smiled as we walked to the room.
"johnnieee look who's heree." jake sang as he went over to him shaking him by his shoulders. "what." johnnie looked up from his phone, his eyes meeting mine. "y/n!" johnnie gasped making his way towards me embracing me. i wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. we both separated from the hug, johnnies hands moving onto my waist "i missed you." he smiled, his eyes looking into mine. i smiled back, looking into his gaze making me nervous, "i did too. a lot."
"alright you two enough eye fucking. let's start." jake said in a country accent as he came over, placing his hands on our heads. johnnie and i said sorry, smiling at each other. we all took our place in our seats and sat down preparing for the video.
"hey guys welcome back! today we have the one and only y/n and johnnie"
johnnie and i waved at the camera
"today, we are going to be trying some trader joes food."
"but before we get started. you guys know how y/n and johnnie joked about kissing each other for new years? they actually did it!"
"and this wasnt the first time! they kissed when they were drunk too."
johnnie and i hid our faces in our hands laughing mumbling jake’s name
johnnie spoke up "im gonna say this. the new years kiss was way better."
looking up i nodded my head "it was."
"i honestly wouldnt mind kissing her again."
jake sat there in shock, looking at the camera then at us "sexual tension on aisle 3."
"anyways! let's get started."
throughout the whole video johnnie and i wouldn't stop staring at each other. we smiled at each other the whole time. even making excuses to hold each others hands and taking bites of each others food. as the video came to an end we all said our goodbyes and shut off the camera.
"well i should be going now." i laughed as grabbing my bag. "you're leaving?" johnnie asked quickly "yeah. unless you want me to stay? i can stay if thats fine with you guys?" jake and johnnie nodded their heads "of course!" once we finished cleaning everything up we all watched whatever was on tv. jake being the first to fall asleep. as the movie continued jake woke up and groggily said goodnight to us saying he was heading to bed. johnnie and i said goodnight and continued watching tv.
"hey johnnie." i asked, keeping my attention on the tv. he responded with a 'hm' and lowered the volume. "did you mean it when you said you wouldn't mind kissing me again." i turned to look at him biting the inside of my cheek. "yeah. i could kiss you right now actually." he responded setting the remote down on the coffee table looking at me. my eyes widened when johnnies hand reached up, his fingers gently grazing my cheek. i pressed my lips onto his quickly, as i wrapped my arms around his neck, to deepen the kiss.
opening my mouth slightly johnnie slipped his tongue in, the kissing getting needier and messier. pulling away slightly he whispered against my lips "lets go to my room."
closing the door behind us he softly pushed me against it pressing his lips onto mine, kissing me hungrily. our bodys pressing against each other. johnnie leaned down to kiss my neck leaving hickeys along my neck, i pushed him away softly "what if they see." johnnie rolled his eyes "who gives a fuck." he chuckled continuing what he was doing. johnnies hands moved down to my hips, taking off my studded belt, sliding my pants down.
"cute panties." johnnie chuckled tracing the skulls on my underwear. "shut up." i laughed grabbing his cheeks, putting my lips on his. "too bad they have to come off." he smiled against my lips, as he pulled them down slowly. he moved one of his hands down and began rubbing my clit. "so wet." he mumbled as he circled on my clit. moaning as johnnie slowly slipped two fingers, pumping into my cunt. "fuck johnnie." i whimpered feeling him speed up, gripping onto his shoulders. "johnnie.. gonna come." i whined, grinding myself on his hand.
johnnie pulled away with a smirk on his lips. "really?" i whined pushing his shoulder slightly. he unbuckled his studded belt and pushed his pants down. taking his cock in his hand giving a few pumps, looking at me "ready?" i nodded my head, feeling him slide inside me, making us both moan. "fuck y/n." johnnie whispered as he gripped my hips as he fucked into me faster. "johnnie im gonna cum." i wrapped my arms around him, wrapping my legs around his waist. johnnie lifted a hand up grabbing my cheeks softly pulling me into a kiss. "cum on my cock y/n." a choked moan left my lips as i felt my climax wash over me.
he thrusted a few more times and came inside me. we both stayed there catching our breaths holding onto each other closely. "you okay?" i nodded my head as i kept my head on his shoulder, my arms still wrapped around him. "lets take a bath and go to sleep." he whispered kissing the top of my head.
once we cleaned up and took our bath johnnie handed me some clothes to wear to sleep. "hope you dont mind wearing one of my emo shirts." he laughed as he handed me 'a my chemical romance shirt.' "its fine." i smiled slipping on the shirt.
we both lied on the bed and held onto each other. "well that was fun." i said moving his hair from his face. "yeah it was. i been wanting to kiss you since forever." he smiled as his thumb caressed my hip. "me too...i know this is a bad time to ask but wanna be my boyfriend." "duh. wanna be my girlfriend?" "duh."
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How they like to get railed...
Oscar Isaac characters
A/N: This is just filth, as well as the Oscar Isaac obsession hitting me hard. Anyway, these are a bunch of Oscar Isaac characters and headcanons on how they like to be fucked, enjoy!!
Characters in this list: Steven Grant, Marc Spector, Jake Lockley, Poe Dameron, Santiago García and Miguel O'Hara.
This is obviously nsfw.
Top male reader. Sub or dom depending on the character.
Steven Grant
Steven’s preferences depend on what you want, he’ll do anything you want.
He loves it when you go gentle on him, treating him like he’s made of glass, running your hands through his hair.
You two can last hours like this, indulging on each other’s bodies, biting at each other softly.
These sessions tend to also be filled with some soft laughter and many, many praises, it’s your way of letting Steven know how much you love him, how pretty you think he is…
He whimpers a lot, he’s still unused to the amount of love you give him during these moments and every kiss is electrifying.
It’s not unusual to end up with faint scratches on your back after a session like this, he always apologizes profusely the day after but you honestly love how you make your man feel so amazing that he digs his nails into your back.
His favorite position is the good old missionary, he just loves how he gets a close look at you.
Sometimes though, he wants it rough and you give it to him.
Here, he doesn’t whimper, instead he moans and sometimes even screams.
As for where he wants you to cum, inside him is the go to place, he feels completely yours when you do that and loves feeling it leak out of him.
Marc Spector
Marc is a bit of a different story, he’s more dominant over you.
He’d love edging you with his hole, he knows how much you want to cum and he doesn’t let you, he’s slightly sadistic.
You’re his best stress reliever, a service top is all Marc’s ever wanted.
He’d definitely call you a “good boy” while he rides you, if you’re lucky, he lets you hold his waist.
He looks you in the eyes a lot and very intensely, it's to assert further control on you.
His favorite position would be riding, it’s the way he can have control over you.
But sometimes, he just wants to be fucked hard just like Steven, to fuck every thought out of his pretty little head, only this time the scratches on your back are deeper, more noticeable and redder, which is still hot…
He’s not much for foreplay, he prefers to get right into the action, he’s stressed a lot of the time and only more anticipation for him doesn’t help at all, give the man some dick please.
He grunts a lot during sex, "Fuck yeah" he'd grunt while you pound deeply into him, knowing it's best not to stop.
He also likes sucking you off… which makes sense, considering he loves you cumming on his face while he looks at you with the most dominant and intense eyes.
Jake Lockley
The most feral, deranged and dominant out of all the moon boys by far.
It’s not unusual for Jake to tie you up and edge you for literal hours, surrendering to him as you fill his sadistic urges.
He gets off on your begging, the fact that your cock borderline aches.
Sometimes he doesn’t even cum, he just likes to see you weak.
Other times, all he wants to do is use you.
His favorite position is where he rides you and he bounces furiously up and down your cock, normally with tied hands, he likes to have you vulnerable.
He wants to ride you, cum first, then you cum inside him and he leaves.
However, a lot of the time when he gets up he kisses your temple and says “good boy” before he leaves, cum running down his legs.
It makes you feel so used, like a toy almost, and you can’t act like you don’t like it.
Poe Dameron
Poe is the term “power bottom” personified.
He knows everything that he has to do to break you, and so he can use you for his pleasure.
That cocky little grin of his… not even while getting fucked he doesn’t have it on him.
The way he’d throw his head back and he’d say “Ahh.. fuck yeah…” while riding you.
He’s a huge fan of riding you, but sometimes he lets you fuck yourself dumb with his ass in mating press, pumping load after load into the man.
He wants to hear your pretty whimpers, nothing turns on Poe more than his top whimpering.
He’d let you indulge yourself with his body, licking and sucking everywhere, he especially loves it when you play with his nipples while he rides you.
He uses the term “good boy” for you a lot during sex. He knows it can make you crazy and submit even further to him.
He just has such an effect on you that gets you craving him, and the craving gets so pent up you have no hope of dominating the man, considering you get so subby as soon as his walls wrap around your cock.
He’d want you to cum inside him, as a sign that he owns you, a subtle reminder that even if you’re the top in the relationship.. you’re his bitch.
Santiago García
He’s a huge switch, sex between you two is improvised, you decide who’s dominant when the time comes, normally you just fall into whatever role is natural in that specific time.
Unlike Marc, he’s all up for foreplay, he loves sex to last as long as humanly possible between you two.
He speaks Spanish if he's really needy for you, "Por favor.. por favor" and if he has an amazing orgasm, he'll scream "¡Te amo!" sometimes.
His weak spot is the scar on his neck, it’s the one spot that when you kiss makes him instantly yours.
It’s amazing for him, for some time, he can let go of everything haunting him and he can focus on just you and your dick in him.
He used to be very big on doggystyle but his knees have gotten worse with the years, so it’s only a rare occurrence, but he’s found a new muse: cuddlefucking.
His orgasms are always so strong when he’s with you, and he clenches so tightly around you.
When he decides to be dominant, he almost talks you through it and he gives you a look that makes you only more and more obedient with each thrust…
When he decides to be submissive, he has a similar air to Steven, it’s very touchy sex where you wrap your arms around him.
His neck is the best place to kiss while you fuck him, and the vibration of his whimpers on you just tops it off, you love making your man feel good.
The cuddling normally gets you too lazy to pull out, so you cum inside, however sometimes he likes to swallow your load.
Miguel O’Hara
(I know he’s not REALLY an Oscar Isaac character, but he’s voiced by him and Oscar seems to like him a lot so I guess he’s part of the gang now)
Poor little baby needs his stress to be pounded out of his pretty head.
He’s the biggest fan of rough sex, it’s rare you two have a soft session the whole time. But not like you mind, you love seeing him weak while you fuck him into oblivion.
Miguel’s prostate is extremely sensitive, which leads to him grunting loudly and screaming if you’re in private.
He’s submissive most of the time, having someone else have to take control is a stress reliever for him, but he can power bottom sometimes.
It’s not hard to make him go cock drunk, especially after heavy teasing. He just wants to be mercilessly pounded by you.
He’s very sensitive in his nipples too, he can cum from stimulation there alone…
His favorite position is mating press, you just overpower him so gracefully.
When he’s a power bottom, he rides you in reverse cowgirl, he knows how crazy you are for his ass and feeds into that.
He loves it when you cum inside him, he feels like he’s yours when you do that. Sometimes, he even plugs his ass so he can keep inside of him.
#oscar isaac#oscar isaac characters#steven grant#steven grant x male reader#marc spector#marc spector x male reader#jake lockley#jake lockley x male reader#poe dameron#poe dameron x male reader#santiago garcia#santiago garcia x male reader#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x male reader#atsv#triple frontier#star wars#moon knight#top male reader#x male reader
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Imagine petite!human reader literally being used as a living fleshlight😩
Like she’s so small she can just be lifted off the ground and pounded🥴
Honestly don’t even care who it’s written for feels like a Jake, lo’ak, or quaritch kinda senecio
Sincerely, a no where near petite girlie
Thank you so much for your patience. I've been working on like a million different things at the same time so I am so behind on requests. But I looove this idea. Something about just being manhandled however your partner wants you to be is so fucking aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh😩! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this.
🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞
Smut under the cut.
“Make sure you don’t break my bed with your big ass.” You playfully scold Lo’ak while pulling on your spaghetti strap shirt. He flops his entire body weight onto your bed making it creak. It was times like this when you really took note of just how big of a size difference there was between you. Of course, the Na’vi were much bigger than average humans already, but you were even on the small side for humans. Watching how his body can’t fit properly on your bed while you could be swallowed whole by your sheets and blankets never ceased to amaze you. He waves you off with a ‘yeah, yeah’ while he makes himself comfortable putting his hands under his head. You roll your eyes at him and start to search through all the DVDs you have for something for you two to watch.
“What are you in the mood for this time? Something funny? Romantic? Dramatic?” you fire off the different genres as you toss aside disc after disc.
“Hmm…” he dramatically hums thinking about his answer.
You don’t bother to look at him while he mulls it over and you continue searching. You faintly comprehend the sound of him shuffling and moving around behind you, but you pay it no mind until a pair of big hands find their way on your small frame. Lo’ak’s lips brush lightly over the back of your neck and it almost tickles when he speaks.
“I think I’m in the mood for something sexy” he presses kisses onto your neck and shoulder.
“You are so corny” you say with a laugh, but you still lean into his touch anyway.
“Just put on whatever. I’d rather watch you anyway.” His low voice in your ear makes your nerves come alive with this intense fluttering all over your body. His impatience is rubbing off on you so you hurriedly throw whatever you can reach into the player without really bothering to look at what it is. Once the movie starts playing, you turn around to face Lo’ak and he immediately swipes you up off the floor and your legs lock around his waist while he presses his lips to yours. Holding onto him like this gives you the perfect feel of his cock straining against his tewng and poking you right between your legs. Clearly, he can feel it too from how his hands hold your hips and grind you down against him. Every move brushes against your covered clit and gives you small tingles of satisfaction, but it’s not enough.
He’s got you so riled up now that you decide to have a little more fun and push his limits. On any given day, Lo’ak could, and would, fuck you until your body felt like jelly. But on occasion, he would lose himself and by the end, even your brain would feel numb and fuzzy filled with nothing but him possessing you completely. That’s exactly what you need right now.
Without warning, you unfold your legs from around him and let go completely dropping to your feet on the ground. His puzzled expression is nothing short of adorable.
“Shit, I just remembered that I have a report to finish” you say walking over to your computer desk and sitting down.
“Babe, you have got to be kidding me right now.” You were never one to deny Lo’ak what he asked for. Ever. Not even when you would join the clan for communal dinner and he would pull you off into the dark out of view of everyone else.
“It’s only going to take a few minutes, Lo.” You say sitting down and pulling your hair forward and exposing your neck. Lo’ak groans behind you. You know how much he loves when you present your neck for him to mark. He’s starting to catch on to your little game. If he wants it, he’s going to have to take it.
“If it’s only going to take a couple minutes, then do it after” he says pulling your chair away from your desk and over to the bed. He spins you around to face him and heat settles between your thighs at the way he’s eyeing you right now. “I need you, mamas.”
“You’re doing a whole lot of talking and yet, I’m still fully clothed” you say with a sly smirk.
He chuckles lowly to himself, “oh, you are asking for it.” In one swift motion, Lo’ak pulls you onto his lap by your waist. Your hands brace against his chest to keep yourself from flying forward. His face settles in the crook of your neck and he nips lightly at your skin making you jump.
“Now, am I going to have to rip these cute little shorts off of you or are you gonna behave and take them off yourself?”
“Don’t…I like these ones.” You whine.
“Then get rid of them. Right now.”
You shift yourself around so that you can maneuver out of your shorts while he pulls his tewng to the side to expose his thick, hard cock that was already leaking precum from the tip.
“Already so hard, love. Is that for m—”
“Don’t try to get cute with me” Lo’ak cuts you off by grabbing you by your waist and slamming you down onto his dick in one quick snap.
It feels like an electric shock is shot up your spine and goes straight to your head being immediately filled to the brim. He gives you no time to adjust before he’s fully lifting your body by your waist up and down on his cock.
“Ah! Fu-ck! Lo-ak!” Your words and breaths are broken from how he’s making you bounce on top of him.
“Shit, your pussy is so fuckin perfect” he says through gritted teeth.
His big hands on your smaller frame completely take control of your movements and you have no choice but to let him have his way with you. His dick continues to bully its way into your tight cunt and kiss your cervix making your toes curl.
“Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me cum inside of you, mama. You want that, hm? Want me to fill you up?” his voice is lighthearted, but you can tell from the look in his eyes and his laser focus on you how close he really is and how badly he wants to give you everything.
“Yes, yes, yes, please Lo’ak!” your vision is already starting to spot as you near your own high while he keeps using you as his own personal fuck toy.
“Hng, shit!” he bucks his hips up to match the way he’s moving your body for you a few more times before the heat of his cum starts to fill you from the inside out. It sends you over the edge into your own orgasm and your pussy clamps down on him even tighter if that was even possible. Lo’ak sucks in a sharp breath feeling how tight you are around him and his forehead falls forward onto your chest waiting for you to stop milking him for all he’s worth.
His hands finally let go of your waist and they fall to sit on top of your thighs while you both try to catch your breath.
Suddenly the TV booms from across the room, “I am Bruce Almighty! My will be done!” making both of you snap your head in its direction.
“What the fuck movie did you put on?” Lo’ak laughs breathlessly.
“I have no fucking clue and I kind of don’t really care” you laugh equally out of breath. “But it looks like we still have some time before it’s over…” you lightly suggest.
He already knows what’s on your mind and a devilish smirk crosses his face.
#blue babbles#thanks anon!#thanks for the ask!#avatar#avatar the way of water#awow#avatar fic#loak sully#lo'ak#loak#lo’ak#avatar loak#loak x reader#loak fanfiction#atwow loak#loak smut#avatar smut
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What are your thoughts on gang bang?
My sincere thoughts on it? Honestly can’t say that I’m a fan. However, I’ll take this ask as an opportunity to write something ~different~ for my community of horny engenes !!
cw swearing, unprotected sex, m. & f. oral (both giving and receiving), slight exhibitionism, boob play, reader gets fucked by the hyung line, not proofread wc 1.3k
So by now we’re all pretty familiar with enhypen’s infamous resort episode, right?
Imagine Lee Heeseung, one of the richest, most attractive guys at your university inviting you to a pool party held at his condo over the weekend.
You wore an ordinary emerald green two piece bikini with a thin shawl tied around your waist, sitting at the poolside while your eyes merely glazed the book you brought with you. It was supposed to act as headphones to an introverted gym bro, but God knows you weren’t AT ALL interested in reading anymore.
Too distracted by the bulge fest Heeseung and his three equally hot friends were granting you with, the only thing on your mind was how you were gonna fuck at least one of them before the night was out.
Luckily, the pool had already started to clear out within an hour, so you had the perfect chance to make your move with Heeseung's groupies out of the way.
Abandoning your now damp book and shawl, you joined the four boys in the pool, the view of your perky tits and ass against the underwater lights thoroughly enthralling their attention.
“Hey, stranger. It's about time you got your nose out of that book," Jake chuckled, making a spot for you to squeeze in between him and Heeseung in the water, "I’m surprised a girl like you even swung by tonight."
“Don’t be," you said, looking him dead in the eye, "I’m not all books and brains like you might think I am.”
“Great, so why don’t you enlighten us?" Heeseung offered, trying to out-intimidate you, "I’ve invited you to my parties in the past, but you never showed. Why change that tonight?”
You opted for a more humorous response to his cheeky question.
“Because, you’ve obviously been keeping track of my attendance records… I wouldn’t want to risk my midterm grade like that,” you pouted playfully, kicking your feet in the water which only drew their attention back to your body.
Dogs, you thought to yourself. They weren’t even trying to hide how thirsty they were.
“No worries… Heeseung lost the backbone to give cute girl's honest ratings a while ago,” Sunghoon poked, earning a circle of laughter from the inside joke he'd just told.
“Yeah, buddy. You’ve seriously lowered your standards over the years,” Jake pitched in, “prudes like her don’t know how to have a good time, so just quit with your efforts.”
You scoffed at his sly remark, Heeseung splashing water at Jake’s face in both your defense.
"Hmm," you began, speaking more boldly, "last time I checked, prudes are easy targets... I figured guys like you couldn't handle when girls play hard to get anyways."
“That’s sweet and everything, but I'm afraid you've misjudged us," Jay interjected, "guys like ourselves actually enjoy a challenge once in a while... even when the prize is amateur at best.”
“Pfft,” you amused, humored by how much they underestimated the lengths you'd go to for a good fuck, even if you made a fool of yourself while doing so. You played along, planning to make use of your dirty mouth to rile them up even more.
"Look, now you've made her mad," Heeseung sighed at Jay who only shook his head in response.
"Not mad, but extremely horny, yes… and when I'm in the mood, I prefer to skip the mind games and just use my words," you said with a seductive voice, looking them all dangerously in the eyes, "If any of you perverts wanna put your boner's to good use before the night is out, you know where to find me."
The look on their faces was a mix of shock, offense, and desire, their eyes following the trail of water your feet left behind as you made your way outside of Heeseung's pool and into his condo.
“What the fuck is her deal,” Sunghoon asked rhetorically, being the first of the bunch to make his way out of the pool, following behind you.
Jake contemplated with himself before calling out to Sunghoon, "Aye, wait up," nearly slipping on his ass as he got out of the pool.
"Yeahhh, I'm not sure if she wants all of us to join her," Jay pitched in, watching as Heeseung slowly made his way to the pool staircase.
"How dense can you be, bro? The girl's obviously a raging slut. She's practically begging to have all her hole's filled tonight," Heeseung huffed, shaking the water from his hair before dumbly following your water trail as if hypnotized.
Jay was putting up a front, but he was equally, if not even more eager to get off one way or another.
Introducing your fivesome location of choice: Heeseung's indoor sauna.
Some debating time took place before you guys actually started anything, discussing how they planned to take turns fucking you before finally agreeing on going at it in groups of two.
As expected, each of the four boys had their own way of toying with you.
Heeseung took the lead, fucking up into you as you bounced on his cock, your hands desperately clinging onto his shoulders as if fearful that the force of his thrusts would make you fall.
“Fuck,” he hissed, relishing in the sensation of your slimy walls clenching around him.
The surrounding boys palmed themselves while they awaited their turn, some of them even pulling out their phones to record the filthy scene.
Jay, being one of the more impatient ones, took it upon himself to wrap your hand around his dick, guiding your movements with one hand while he massaged your tits with the other. “Since Heeseung here forgot we’re supposed to be sharing,” he groaned, melting into the warmth of your grip.
After the two eldest boys had their fun, Jake and Sunghoon helped themselves to you next.
It caught you off guard when Jake kissed you, his tongue entering your mouth as he explored your folds with his free hand, testing just how eager you were for more.
You were eventually put on all fours, Sunghoon forcing your wobbly legs open as he chuckled in your ear, “don’t tell me you’re already getting tired,” he smirked, landing a harsh smack against your pulsing heat.
Jake gripped your hips, the hot pressure of his cock swirling at your entrance before he finally rammed himself all the way in, delighting you with a feeling of fullness. “So tight,” he whinced, slowly grinding into your hole before picking up the pace.
Sunghoon only gave Jake so much fun time before tapping in, telling Jake to pull out and just hold himself so he could finally have a go.
Although you were still on all fours, Sunghoon was much rougher with you than Jake was, leaning down to graze your shoulder with his fangs while his free hand gripped at your throat.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he rutted into you from behind, smacking your ass just to hear you whine before you both finally climaxed.
"Alright, show off," Jay teased, guiding your tired body into the missionary position, propping you up on your elbows so Heeseung could have full access to mouth.
You’re sure Jay's goal was to make you squirt just from how aggressively he fingered your cunt, diving down to leave rough kitten licks against your puffy clit as he whispered against your heat, “So fucking pretty for us.”
Meanwhile, you watched Heeseung’s eyes flutter as you slowly inched your lips down his length, delicate hands caressing your cheeks as if petting you before forcing your head down a little further. He trembled at the feeling of your throat tightening around him, “Fuck, you feel so good," he nearly whimpered, chest heaving in harmony with each bob of your head.
Despite your mouth being stuffed, broken moans escaped your lips as Jay eased you toward your third orgasm of the night, your body squirming beneath him as your shiny release coated his lips and chin, adding to the foul sounds echoing within the sauna space.
And with that, your steamy night went on for what felt like hours, the four horny boys chasing their highs and passing you around like the main course at a holiday dinner party.
All of this action was definitely not on par with how you initially planned to spend your weekend night, but it wasn't something you had a problem with, either.
a/n: I felt tempted to include the entire enha legal line in this drabble… I’m sorry, but there ain’t no way you’d be able to process all that dick at once, BYE-
No tags bc this one sucks . I literally might randomly delete this one day… — feel free to check out more fun reads like this on my enhypen bookshelf !!
#enhypen#enha imagines#enhypen headcanons#enhypen ff#enha scenarios#enha x reader#enha ff#kpop ff#enhypen smut#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#heeseung smut#jay smut#jake smut#sunghoon smut#enhypen boyfriend#enhypen heeseung#enhypen jake#enhypen jay#enha smut#heeseung#requested#enhypen scenarios#18+ content#lee heeseung#park sunghoon#park jongseong#enha fanfiction#kpop smut
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Skin Deep - Part 10.3
Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!freader x male OC, f!reader x Jake Kiszka
Word Count: 9.4k
***A/N: After a bit of a hiatus from the app and writing, this chapter has been a long time coming. It’s been hanging in my docs for quite a while, but I’m stoked to have it finally posted for everyone. This part might be a bit polarizing and intense for some readers, so I strongly encourage you read the warnings before diving right in. I’m quite nervous about this update***
As always, I appreciate all the love, support and feedback y’all give me ❤️
Warnings: cursing, brief mentions of marijuana use and alcohol consumption, angst/toxic themes and behavior (jealousy, extreme anger, allusions to cheating, and manipulation), physical aggression, sexually explicit content - MINORS DNI 18+ (unprotected penetrative sex, rough sex, degradation, dacryphilia - arousal from tears or sobbing, spit kink, spanking, mentions of blood, choking if you squint a lot, and please feel free to message me if I have missed anything on this list!)
Masterpost, Part 10.2
You must’ve fallen asleep the second you closed your eyes because the next thing you feel is a hand nudging your arm, waking you up. You go to stretch out the tightness locking your tired muscles, but the weight of Josh passed out on your chest keeps you pinned to the bed.
You try to rub the sleepy glaze from your eyes with the heels of your palms, mumbling, “Hmm…what?”
Kai stands, causing the mattress to bounce and creak with the loss of weight. “I need a shower,” He whispers. “Will you take one with me?”
“Sure,” you groan through the stiffness. It takes a little coaxing, but you still manage to slide out from under Josh without waking him. By the time you can swing your bare feet onto the hardwood floor, Kai has already walked out of the room.
You stumble your way into the bathroom, wincing at the bright lighting. “I gotta pee…” you trail off, walking past him, but when he doesn’t take the hint, you turn to give him a look.
He lets out an airy laugh and starts to rummage through the vanity drawers. “Oh, kitten…you act like I wasn’t just inside you an hour ago.” He turns his head to you, emphasizing the remark with a teasing wink. “And you wouldn’t believe the money I’ve made off of women pissing on me… So yeah, that’s kind of the least of my worries, wouldn’t you think?” You grimace in disgust, causing him to flash a grin at you before continuing his search, unbothered by you completely. He then asks over his shoulder, “You’re on birth control, right?”
You push out a heavy sigh into your hands as you settle onto the toilet seat, “Yes, Kai. I am sleeping with both of them, remember?”
He huffs, finally finding what he’s looking for — a spare, cheap toothbrush from the bottom drawer, and starts ripping open the packaging and points it at you. “Which reminds me, I should stop by the clinic this week.” While you’re sure it’s only teasing, you shoot a death glare at him anyway, making him chuckle.
“I’m kidding! Kind of…” He trails off as he pipes out a line of toothpaste across the pristine bristles. “But in all seriousness, what’s up with you and Jake anyway?”
You scoff, “What’s up with you and Jake?”
“I asked first,” he mumbles around the head of the toothbrush tucked inside his cheek.
You remain glued to the toilet seat, pondering over the question in silence as he continues brushing his perfect teeth. A part of you is hopeful that he'll drop the topic altogether, but the curious raise of his brows says otherwise. You wish you knew the right answer — the perfect explanation for what you were. In reality, you don’t have a clue of what the label would be. You haven’t created the space for it in your life yet. “Fine,” you sigh. “I honestly don’t know what’s up with us. Weeks ago I got a tattoo done by him and by the end of that night, I ended up fucking both of them.”
A few seconds pass, making you look up to see Kai’s eyes widen in the mirror until he breaks away to stare at you.
You laugh nervously, “I know. It’s kind of crazy to think about, but it’s been going on like that — with both of them since then.”
He spits a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink before following up. “Are you guys like…dating?”
The question takes you back, but you can’t say you didn’t see it coming. “I don’t think so. Not like…conventionally in any way.” Saying the words not only to yourself but in front of Kai fills you with a sense of dread and growing shame. You can’t hide behind your ignorance or delusions. Not being able to hold eye contact, your focus drops to your hands as you anxiously pick at your nail beds. “He always gives me mixed signals and I never know what he’s thinking most of the time. When I feel like I get close, he kind of shuts me out almost. Sometimes I get the feeling like we’re a couple…and then sometimes it’s like I’m just a friend with benefits to him.” Your head falls, and finally spit out the fear that's been lingering in the back of your throat. “…I think he’s been sleeping with other girls though.”
He huffs a dry laugh, missing the shift in your tone, “That’s Jake for you.” It was a poor attempt at bringing some levity back, but when he realizes that is failing, sincerity washes over his sharp features. “I’m sorry, kitten.”
Your voice breaks when you ask, “Is that really how he is?”
He shrugs, taking another washcloth from the stack to wipe the corners of his mouth. “He’s always been closed off and to himself, but I can’t say he’ll be opening up to me any time soon.”
You finally get up to turn on the shower, “Yeah, I guess. But what’s the deal with you and him? Why does he hate you so much?”
Kai watches you work the handles to find the right temperature before stepping in. He winces, sucking in a breath through his teeth. “Oh…well. I’m pretty sure he hates me because I may or may not have unknowingly slept with his ex.”
That wasn’t the answer you were expecting from him. It stuns you, taking you by surprise as warm water sprays over you. “You what?!”
He shushes you dramatically with a finger to his lips as he follows you inside the shower. “Let me explain,” he starts with a weak laugh, but the smile accompanying it doesn’t reach his eyes. “So at the time, his girl, Roxi, was at this random house party that I went to. She approached me that night and we hit it off, but she somehow conveniently skipped around divulging the fact that she was with, or had very recently broken up with him. One thing led to another —yada, yada, yada— we ended up hooking up that night. The next morning I woke up to a frightening amount of angry and wildly alarming texts and voicemails from Jake. Come to find out, someone saw us together and had told him. To me, she was a hot girl that wanted to have some fun. But to him, I ruined his fucking world and he hasn’t forgiven me since.”
Your mouth drops open but you don’t bother catching it. You stand before him, blindsided by the bombshell dropped in your hands. “Oh my god. You didn’t know?”
He shrugs, reaching for Jake’s shampoo bottle off the tile ledge. “No, I had no clue. I know you’ve never met her, but if you do, you will see that she has a certain way about her.” He chuckles, but it sounds more like a warning. “I should’ve known it was a bad decision from the jump, but c’est la vie I guess.”
Processing everything he has just told you proves to be a nearly impossible feat, but it’s able to bring some clarity to his behavior while leaving you wanting more. “Does Jake know that you didn’t know?”
He scoffs at the notion, “You honestly think Jake gives a fuck about that? He probably assumes I have some fucked up motive to steal you away from him too. Which I can’t say I blame him for.” He pauses, massaging the high-end shampoo into a rich lather through his raven-black locks. “So it’s looking like I don’t know how to learn my lesson…but where’s the fun in that?”
You reach for the same bottle, throwing him a disappointed glare. “No wonder he’s so pissed at me. I’m such an asshole, Kai.”
He places his soapy hands on your shoulders, grounding you to him and reassuring you with an affectionate touch. “And how were you supposed to know that, hmm? His hatred for me goes way back… way before you ever came into the picture, trust me.”
He’s trying. You’ll give him that, but the words don’t help ease the guilt you’re feeling. “I certainly didn’t make it better. He’s going to be so upset.”
Kai’s fingers knead away the tightness in your neck. He’s trying to distract you now, and you don’t fight him on it. “I can hold my own and so can he.”
“Does Josh know?”
He hesitates, even if it’s only for a few seconds.“Yeah, but he kind of went Switzerland on the whole thing. He stuck his head down and minded his business, which was probably for the best. Josh learned early on not to insert himself between Roxi and Jake.”
You try not to let the truth leave a stain on your evening, but it bleeds through regardless.“Why didn’t he say anything to me about her?”
“Probably didn’t think she was important enough to.” Kai isn’t oblivious to how this is affecting you either. He closes the remaining distance between you, tipping your chin up with a careful nudge of his finger, drawing your drifting attention back to him. His piercing green eyes appear darker than before — softer even. The game you found yourselves in has ended, and the intentions behind them have shifted, making you feel comfortable in his embrace. “Listen, don’t let this shit get in the way. If Jake is out here holding grudges, that’s on him.”
You look up and stare into his haunting irises, muttering, “Okay…yeah. You’re right.”
Just as you take in his details —the fans of dark lashes framing his eyes, the water rolling off the bridge of his nose, the heavy droplets falling from the ends of his hair— he studies yours. “You love him, don’t you?”
“H-Huh? What?”
“Josh.” A smirk plays on his lips just as his fingers snake up your neck and skate across your scalp. “I can see it in your eyes when you look at him.”
Him calling you out like that flusters you, and you begin to stammer over yourself. His expression softens at the sight of your anxiety, and he leans in to place a gentle kiss on your open lips.
It’s chaste and sweet, verging on platonic rather than sexual. “Relax, kitten. I get it. Your secret is safe with me.”
You think of him sleeping peacefully stretched across his bed. You’re blushing, still high of the euphoria and weed from earlier. You've been convincing yourself that it’s puppy love, or at least textbook infatuation, so you take his observation with a grain of salt. Deciding to change the subject, you ask with a quirked brow, “So what if I met you first?”
His facial expression shows he’s a little surprised by your question, but doesn’t stumble over it for long. “If you met me first? …Well, I would have wooed like I did tonight.” He grins, pausing to capture your lips in another kiss, one that lingers this time. “Fucked your pretty brains out for a few weeks and string you along before slowly distancing myself. Probably tell you that I’m not looking for anything serious because I’m horrendously emotionally unavailable.”
You huff a tired laugh, rolling your eyes before dipping your head under the stream of water. “At least you’re honest.”
“Always.”
Sadness starts to settle when you realize how fleeting this is with him, weighing down on your heart. “So what’s gonna happen tomorrow?”
He hums, mirroring a similar feeling. It pulls his lips into a frown before he hides it with a shallow smile. “We’ll wake up a little hungover, maybe have some more fun. Then we’ll have breakfast and say our goodbyes and I’ll keep being his friend just the same as I did before.”
Your eyes fall from his as you nod along to the rose and fall of his voice. You’re starting to grow attached, and trying your best not to let the reality of this being the last time you’ll see him upset you.
“Hey, stay with me, okay?”
Your shoulders fall but you mask your emotions with a brave face.“Okay.”
“He feels the same way you do, you know?”
“I dunno about that. You both seem pretty similar in that regard.”
“I’m serious. I can tell. Even if he’s totally being “Josh” about his feelings. I know him well enough to know that they’re there.”
You startle awake. flying into a sitting position to find that you’re alone in Josh’s bed. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you guess it's late morning with how bright the sunlight is shining through the blinds. Worried that you’ve slept too long, you scramble across the mattress to snatch your phone from the nightstand.
10:37
You hear voices coming from the kitchen, and even through the bedroom walls, you can tell it’s Josh and Kai. You slide off the bed, shuffle over to the dresser, and pull out a band tee from the drawer before stepping out of the room.
“So you like this girl, huh?” Kai asks. It makes you stop in the middle of the hallway and your heart begins to race. You inch closer, stepping quietly enough not to be detected.
You hear Josh let out a slow, deep sigh, “Yeah. I like her a lot.”
Your chest cinches a few notches tighter, sending your heart up into the back of your throat. A part of you feels terrible for eavesdropping on a private conversation, but your curiosity keeps your feet planted on the floor.
“Are you just fucking or is there more to this one?”
You stop breathing, bracing yourself for his honesty. Despite what Kai had told you hours ago, you had your doubts about his true feelings.
“I like to think there’s more than just sex. Fuck, Kai. I think about her all the time. I just want to spend every moment of the day with her. Every day. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I’ve never been this crazy about anyone before…which fucking scares the shit out of me. And you know me.”
“I do. And she’s got feelings for Jake?”
“Probably. Every time I feel like we’re getting a little bit closer, she pulls away and runs to him.”
There’s a pause before Kai hums to himself. “Do you think he has feelings for her?”
“Maybe? It’s hard to tell with him sometimes.”
“Has he dated anyone since her?”
“Roxi?” He pauses for a few seconds. “No, not really. He’s slept with a few, but none of them hung around long enough for me to remember their name.”
“He’s really still holding a grudge about that, huh?”
“Have you met Jake?” Josh snorts a laugh.
“Do you think he’s still hung up on her?”
“For a moment I thought he wasn’t, but sometimes I just don’t know. They were together for five years, Kai.”
Five years.
“Fuck.” Kai seems to share the same thought. “She certainly didn’t act like it.”
Josh lets out a light chuckle, sounding like he’s moving farther away from you. “She never did. But hey, I’m just glad she’s finally out of his life. Last I heard she was living with some tattoo artist guy in Vegas.”
“…You ever?”
“Fuck no! Are you kidding me?!” Josh scoffs, nearly wrenching at the thought. “Besides the obvious fact that he would’ve murdered me in my sleep, there was a higher chance of her Lorena Bobbit’ing my ass than me having any semblance of a good time.”
Kai laughs, causing his cackle to echo throughout the house. “The crazier the better in my opinion.”
“You would say that.” Josh’s voice and his footsteps grow distant from you, making it sound as though he’s making his way toward the kitchen.
“Sounds like you got quite the mess to sort through.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m just worried about it. I did tell her that I would be okay if she wanted to only be with him though.”
Hearing him say those feelings out loud to Kai brings you back to that moment in the car and the guilt you felt, how you both reassured each other the best way you knew how.
“Do you honestly believe that you would?”
“I’d have to be, right?” The disappointment and sadness in his voice is palpable.
“Do you think she would do that?”
“I don’t know…” You fight the urge to rush in there and reassure him in some way.
Kai sighs, pausing for a minute before speaking, “I don’t know about what’s going with Jake, but she fucking adores you, Josh. It’s not much coming from me because I don’t get all lovey-dovey and shit, but I see it. The way she looks at you, she cares about you. That much I do know.”
“Fuck. I dunno…maybe you’re right. I get the feeling she’s holding back something from me…” he trails off. “What about you? Do you adore me, Kai?”
“I always will, pretty boy. If there’s a day that you’re single and I’m finally ready to settle down, You’ll be the one I’ll call.”
“Oh, I’m so flattered,” Josh giggles.
“Shut the fuck up. You know I’m a mess and a walking red flag. You’re too good for me anyway.”
“What can I say? I’m drawn to toxic like a moth to a flame, baby.”
“No, that’s your fucking twin.”
You decide it’s time to make your presence known and walk into the living room. They are both leaning against opposite ends of the kitchen counter when Josh hears you enter. You make your way across the room, catching a knowing look from Kai — one that you’ll choose to ignore for now. Josh perks up, giving you that beaming smile of his. “Hey, baby. How’d you sleep?”
Once you’re close enough, he sets his coffee mug down and pulls you in for a warm embrace, an action so domestic it makes your heart flutter. Knowing what you heard moments ago threatens to overwhelm you, but you try your best to keep yourself calm. You hold his slender waist, giving him a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Pretty good. Didn’t like waking up in an empty bed.”
He frowns as he plays with the hem of your shirt, but it spreads into a grin when he sees that it’s one of his own. Looking down at you with a playful glint in his eye, he bites down at his bottom lip while his hands roam freely up and down your body. “I’m sorry, sweet girl. I just couldn’t bring myself to wake you, and I thought you should sleep in a little longer.”
He then reaches over and grabs his mug to take another sip. Curious, you tip it down to see what’s inside, asking, “What’s this?”
“Oh! Kai was able to figure out how to use Jake’s ridiculously expensive espresso machine,” he explains, gesturing with the tip of his chin to Kai behind you. “I know we aren’t fancy baristas like you.”
You turn to look at Kai, who is taking a massive bite out of the center of a piece of buttered toast. “You made this?”
Kai nods with a confident smirk, brushing the crumbs off his fingers, and mumbling, “I did. Want one?”
“I would love one,” you reply, pleasantly surprised. While Josh keeps his hands busy massaging your shoulders, you watch Kai start setting up the machine for your shot of espresso. “Don’t you have to be at the shop this morning?”
Josh lets out a whimsical sigh, but it’s obvious he’s less than thrilled. “Sam opened for me, but I gotta head over there at noon.”
The deadbolt of the front door unlocks, throwing you all into a standstill of silence as the ominous clack of boot heels hits the wooden floor. Your eyes glue themselves to the threshold of the living room, waiting for him to step into view.
Anxiety and guilt send your heart racing into a panic state. You haven’t had the time to pull together a decent explanation to defend yourself. It doesn’t matter, because the second you see him, the words you could’ve prepared would’ve vanished.
Jake pauses in the entryway, scanning over the scene of the three of you before him. His eyes are covered with a pair of dark wire-rimmed sunglasses that hide his expression from you. You brace for an explosive reaction and fight back the nausea bubbling in the pit of your belly.
If there were a record playing, the needle would be sent across the vinyl with a theatrical scratch.
You watch the tightly wound muscles of his jaw clench as he sets his guitar case down on the floor with a heavy thud. His movements are slow, but calculated. There’s no doubt he’s angry. He’s practically seething with disgust. You look over to Josh, desperate for a sense of direction but the worry in his eyes gives you little to no hope.
He removes his sunglasses and hooks them over the collar of his t-shirt, giving you the sight of the tired circles framing his hollow eyes. “You know, Kai… I thought I made it extremely clear to you that I never wanted to see your face ever again. And yet, you come into my place of business anyway. Which, I let slide because I love my brother. But the fact you’re in my fucking house—“
“I’m not one to turn down an invitation,” Kai interrupts, baiting Jake.
“Get. Out,” Jake snarls through gritted teeth, letting himself slip. The tension in the room feels like a disease, infecting every inch of your body with each passing second.
Kai lets the silence stale as his eyes pan across the room, locking on yours for a few seconds longer than they should. “Well, everyone, it seems as though I’ve overstayed my welcome,” he sings with a sleepy lilt, setting down his half-empty coffee mug on the counter. He steps toward Josh at a leisurely pace, pulling him in for an affectionate and gentle kiss to mumble against his lips, “It’s been wonderful. I hope to do this again sometime.” Josh relaxes enough to smile from the touch, but the stiffness returns as soon as Kai separates from him.
Kai makes his way around the island and leans down to you to place a dramatic kiss on your lips. Knowing that Jake is watching, he makes sure to slip his tongue enough for him to see. He breaks away to breathe you in, humming in satisfaction, “It’s been a true pleasure, kitten.”
“That’s enough.” Jake’s voice cuts through the air with a razor’s edge.
Your face flames hot with a feeling of shame. There’s no denying what happened. There’s no backtracking the events of last night in an attempt to smooth things over. Not only has Jake caught you, but you’re rubbing the very idea of it in his face. Keeping his jade-colored eyes locked on yours, Kai straightens upright. The shit-eating grin and the wink he gives you is a tell-all. He’s not intimidated by him in the slightest — it’s all just another play of the game. With the cocky smile fixed on Kai’s face, he turns to face him. “Don’t tell me you’re threatened by me, Jake.”
Exhibiting an unwavering ego, Kai takes confident strides in the face of danger. There’s an unbridled rage tearing at the weakened seams of Jake’s composure, and you’re within seconds of witnessing it. Kai steps between him and the wall, towering over him by those crucial inches. You’ve seen this type of display before — that standoff between Josh and Jake in the tiny office. However, this feels very different to you. This goes beyond petty sibling rivalry. The glimmer in Kai’s eyes tells you he’s nowhere close to laying down and showing his belly for mercy.
He should just pass by Jake and walk right out that door, but he doesn’t. He gives in to the temptation and decides to toss out a final taunt. “She was a real treat last night.” The way the words slip so effortlessly from his quick-witted tongue leaves a bitterness on yours. “Which isn’t a surprise. I’ve always admired your taste. Although I will say I like her a lot better than Roxi.”
Jake suddenly lunges forward with the same ferocity of a rabid dog, grabbing fistfuls of Kai’s button-up. “Get her name out of your fucking mouth, you piece of shit!”
Being arguably stronger, roughly forty pounds heavier, and a couple of inches taller, Kai reacts quicker than your brain can process, making it seem as though it’s a frenzied blur of motion. He shoves Jake backward by the scruff of his shirt, throwing him into the opposite wall with enough force to make the picture frames rattle from the impact. Jake’s pinned, having all the air knocked from his chest. As calm as Kai seems to be, you’re not ignorant of the pacified aggression lying just beneath the surface. Through Jake’s grunts, he makes his threat clear as they stare into the darkest corners of their minds through each other’s eyes, “Don’t do anything you’ll regret, Jake.”
Afraid of the worst, your head snaps back to Josh, silently begging him to do anything to diffuse the situation. Fear has cast over his features as well, leaving you both frozen in place to watch it all unfold in front of your very eyes.
“Get the fuck off me!” Jake spits, ripping Kai’s hands from his clothing with a frustrated throw of his arms.
There’s so much more that he wishes to do. He wants to tear Kai to shreds — to throw a well-deserved punch into that chiseled jaw, to break that perfect nose, to leave him bloody and bruised, but he knows that the odds are stacked against him. It’s an unfair fight with far more disadvantages than he wants to admit. This is a match between a man with everything to lose and one wagering absolutely nothing.
While Jake blows the violent plumes of his anger through flared nostrils, Kai irons out the new wrinkles of his shirt with an unbothered pass of his palm. “And with that, I bid you all adieu.” Aware that the stakes are rising by the second, he doesn’t wait for the responses that are stuck in your throat and goes to leave. Before he takes the final step out of the door, he looks over his shoulder. “And Jake? That temper is going to get the best of you one day. Don’t let it get away from you.”
Jake throws up a middle finger, a gesture to which Kai responds with a dry, humorless laugh before closing the door behind him. Josh hears the door latch into place and steps toward his brother, calling out to him, “Jake—“
“Fuck you!” The words shot out of his mouth as a verbal strike — meant only to hurt. He hasn’t bothered looking at you until now, but when those eyes find you, you deeply wish they hadn’t. He glares at you with black, wounded eyes basted in pure, undiluted disappointment. You hate that look. It makes you feel sick and riddled with shame.
He picks up his guitar case, breaking eye contact to shoot Josh a hateful look of his own. He jabs a finger in the air, pointing directly at his brother. “You’re a fucking prick.”
Josh recoils but doesn’t say another word in defense. Pissed and not wanting to stay another second, Jake takes off down the hall toward the bedrooms.
You leap off the barstool, sending the chair skidding across the floor as you call after him, “Jake, wait! Let me explain!”
“Jake!” You bolt down the hall after him, but he doesn’t stop or at the very least, slow down for you. He doesn’t even bother glancing back at you to give you a hateful look. The only thing you’re given in return for your efforts is a slammed door in your face. You can only stare at the painted wood, contemplating whether you should knock or barge right in.
He’s shut you out — figuratively and literally.
Deflated, you walk aimlessly into Josh’s bedroom. Your feet are working separately from your mind, carrying you to his bed. You crawl on top of the disheveled duvet and breathe in the dissipating scent of Kai’s cologne. All you want to do is disappear, to take away the feeling that’s closing the walls of your chest.
You curl into the fetal position, making yourself as small as you possibly can. Lying there, you have a hard time telling how much time has passed when you hear Josh walking into the room and feel his weight shift across the mattress.
“Hey,” he says quietly, carefully reaching out to touch the back of your arm to comfort you. Feeling as though you don’t deserve it, you flinch from the gentle contact, shrugging his hand from your body. He sighs, “I know you’re mad at me, baby.” He then clears his throat, but the defeat coats every word like a sickness, “You have every right to be, honestly. I…I probably wasn’t in my right frame of mind last night. I mean don’t regret it… but shit… I wasn’t thinking that clearly either. I saw how the two of you were at the bar and saw the chance. I was so blinded by this fantasy I’ve had to sleep with him that I forgot about your feelings in all this. I didn’t care about Jake either. I knew he would be pissed but I didn’t care.” You can hear how painful the last sentence is to his heart. “I’m sorry I pulled you into this.”
You stare at the collection of vintage posters on his wall, letting the apology brew in your thoughts as you study the images. You aren’t angry with him. You never were, but you don’t have the energy to correct him on it now. You can’t even say you regret what happened with Kai, but you need answers to the questions assaulting the forefront of your mind. “Tell me about Roxi.”
Some time passes before he cuts through the looming silence. “Ah…shit. I don’t even know where to start with that,” he begins as he stretches across the bed next to you. You listen quietly, keeping your back to him. “I guess they met when they were about twenty or twenty-one. We were all fresh out of our apprenticeships when he started tattooing her and didn’t take long for them to become a thing. A will-they-won’t-they, on-again-off-again thing for five fucking years, babe. One minute they would be the sweetest lovebirds in front of you and then the next they were going at each other’s throats. I don’t want to say it was just her that was the problem, but she put him through a lot of bullshit for a long time.”
You can’t ignore the hints of anger in his voice. “He was in love with her?”
“In love with the idea of her. A version of her that will never, ever exist. I don’t care what anyone says to me about it. That’s what I believe. For years he chased after what he thought she could be. He was so convinced she was ‘the one’ that he bought a ring and everything. But there was no telling him that. It was one of those things you just had to let play out and let him learn for himself.”
You’re not sure why the truth he’s been hiding from you hurts, but it does. You lay silent, repeating Josh’s words over in your mind.
Josh isn’t oblivious to your broken breathing pattern — how hard you’re holding back from crying. He risks another touch by brushing his fingertips across your back. “Roxi has been out of the picture for a while, baby. Please don’t hold that weight on your shoulders. His issues with Kai don’t have anything to do with you and I, okay?”
“Why didn’t you just tell me?”
He stammers over his words, “I-I don’t know…I was selfish about you. I guess that it was easier to stuff his skeletons back in the closet. Maybe I thought it would be bad to put his business out there like that. Or maybe I thought she was in the past and it didn’t matter anymore.”
“He doesn’t even want to talk to me,” your voice croaks, broken from our hitched breath. “You saw it. He didn’t even want to look at me, Josh.”
He sighs, turning to nuzzle into the nape of your neck while wrapping a loose arm around your midsection. “He’ll come around, babe. He always does.” It’s hard to believe him, especially from what you heard about Jake holding grudges,
You feel the vibration of his phone against your ass. He lets out an annoyed groan, shifting to dig it out from his front pocket. “Shit! Today of all fucking days…” His sigh might as well have the weight of the world. He rests his forehead against your back, mumbling into the worn cotton, “I gotta head to the shop. Would you like to stay here or do you want me to drive you home?”
The thought of packing your stuff and leaving to be home by yourself nearly crushes you. You feel embarrassed, but ask anyway, “Is it okay if I just lay here for a while?”
“Of course, baby,” he coos reassuringly, placing a kiss on your cheek before crawling off the bed. He knows you need the space, so he doesn’t push any more affection onto you yet. “Text or call if you need anything.”
“I will.”
It’s been hours since Josh left for work, and you spent most of that time rotting in the duvet cocoon feeling sorry for yourself. There was a nap or two, but nothing to make you feel well-rested in any sense. If anything, you feel more exhausted, but with dusk finally falling, you’re forced to crack open the door. You hear the ominous sounds of someone shuffling around in the kitchen. The hallway is cast in darkness, but you can see that Jake’s door is open.
You’re going to have to face him.
There’s no avoiding it.
It looks as though he’s cooking dinner, prepping the pile of vegetables stacked on the center of the counter. He’s chopping away but doesn’t lift his head as you step closer. You know he hears you, so you stand on the opposite side of the island and wait for him to finally acknowledge you.
Even though he’s changed his clothing to a different band t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, he’s never seemed more uncomfortable. His long hair is tied back in a messy, low bun with loose strands falling around his face. You make the first move to break the silence. “Are we gonna talk or what?”
The muscles of his jaw tighten, but he keeps his lips sealed together in an expressionless, thin line. “Jake, come on,” you prod, your impatience growing with every second he chooses to ignore you. He continues chopping, keeping his focus on the large onion pressed beneath his fingertips. His behavior ignites a flash of anger inside you like a struck match. “Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment right now?!” Nothing. Just the repetitive sound of the blade thumping against the cutting board. “Can you just tell me you’re mad?”
Your incessant pestering distracts him, causing the butcher knife to escape from his stranglehold grasp, cutting his finger which makes him drop the blade and hiss a curse under his breath. Instead of breaking away to tend to the fresh wound, he goes back to chopping the rest of the onion.
“You’re bleeding, Jake,” you mutter, thinking that he would’ve noticed the trail of blood running down the side of his palm and smearing across the vegetable. “Can you please just look at me? Talk to me.” You don’t care that you’re unwelcome. You won’t leave until you get a reaction out of him. “Just fucking say something. Anything. I know you’re pissed at me. Just tell me I’m fucking horrible. Tell me you hate me. Just say something.”
The fraying line that’s been keeping his composure finally snaps within seconds. He snatches the glass bowl full of diced onions sitting on the counter and hurls it into the wall to your right, screaming with rage as it flies through the air.
The small bowl shatters on impact, sending an explosion of glass shards and tiny bits of onion everywhere.
“FUCK!”
You recoil from the sound and the rise of his voice, staring blankly at the scene before you after being stunned into silence. This is the first real, raw emotion he’s shown you, and you’re not sure what to do with it. Several seconds of silence pass before you can finally breathe, “What the fuck is the matter with you?!”
He’s gripping the edge of the countertop with his head hung low, mumbling, “You just don’t understand.”
“What don’t I understand?”
He reaches for the crumpled tea towel beside him and wraps it around his bleeding finger, muttering in a low, calculated voice, “Kai is a fucking drifter and a player.” He clenches his fist around the soiled cloth, causing his knuckles to turn a ghostly shade of white. “He goes from one person to the next whenever he gets bored with them. It’s always been about an easy fuck for him. He fucking used you like he does everyone else. Don’t you see that?! He doesn’t care about you, dove.” The muscles tighten over his jaw while his darkened, sunken eyes rise to meet yours, giving you an icy scowl that threatens to make the blood run cold in your veins. “Never has, never will.”
Defensiveness comes as a visceral reaction for you. He’s dead wrong, and the last thing you’re about to do is let him barrel over you to prove it. You firmly stand your ground, spitting back harsh words of your own, “Sounds like someone I know.”
“Excuse me?!” He scoffs, chucking the ruined towel off to the side. That one hurt, and the pained look on his face is one you won’t forget.
You dig your heels in, throwing your arms in frustration as you double down, “Oh, so you can fuck all the girls you want but it’s suddenly a problem when I sleep with Kai?!”
Your thrown-in confession causes him to flinch, but confusion becomes layered deep within his anger. “Other girls? What the fuck are you talking about?!”
“The girls you’re texting, Jake! The women that pop up on your phone all the time!” You scream out, pointing to his phone resting on the counter. “Don’t think I don’t see it.”
“Wait a minute…Are you talking about my clients?!” He snaps, fraying apart while staying oblivious to the droplets of blood that are about to drip onto the floor.
“Oh please, Jake,” you huff, rolling your eyes as you cross your arms over your chest, which brings his attention to the fact you’re wearing Josh’s shirt. “Don’t treat me like I’m an idiot. I may be naive, but I’m not that fucking stupid.”
He laughs and inhales deeply, reigning in the anger enough to say the following words slowly, as if to spoon-feed you what he’s about to say, “I’m not fucking anyone else. I don’t know how else to explain that to you.”
A shred of doubt reveals itself. You want to trust him but your wounded pride forces you to mask it by deflecting. “And you really expect me to believe that? I saw how you flirted with those girls in the front row last night.”
His eyes widen in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me?! You had your tongue shoved halfway down Kai’s throat!”
“What does it matter?! You acted like I didn’t exist, Jake! That I was a nobody to you. Now you’re trying to pin some kind of blame on me for what happened in the past between you and him. But guess what? I’m not Roxi.”
That flipped a massive switch, and for a split second, you almost regret letting her name leave your mouth. You’ll admit that it was immature of you, but you don’t care. The anger that's been kept at a steady simmer between you boils over into a seething rage, popping and bursting onto anything that stands too close. He points a threatening finger at you, spitting the venom-dipped words, “Don’t you fucking dare act like you know anything about her, because you don’t. But you’re right. I expected you to have higher standards for who you fucked than she did.”
“Well, I slept with you, didn’t I?!” You sneer, throwing his insult back in his face. He becomes unrecognizable from the tears glazing over your tired eyes, pooling at your lashes before they have the chance to spill over. You’re just out to hurt each other now, throwing verbal punches to see who can cause the most damage.
It seems as though you got the last shot in because he doesn’t strike out at you again. There are no smartass remarks for him to come back with. His eyes break away from yours, and his gaze falls to the bloody cutting board resting on the counter in front of him. “This was a fucking mistake.”
Moments ago you were shouting at each other from across the granite countertop, but now the house is deathly quiet after hearing those five words, so quiet that the air becomes too thick for you to breathe. The way his voice cracked ever so slightly makes your heart plummet into the pit of your stomach. You wait, hoping that it’s not what you think it means, or perhaps you’re just anticipating the worst.
Your voice catches from trying not to cry, “What’s a mistake?”
This feeling terrifies you. You’ve been betting against the odds this whole time, risking it all on the chance you wouldn’t care for him this way. You’ve been ignorant, determined to convince yourself that you weren’t falling in love.
Love.
How could you fall in love with both of them like this?
This should be a euphoric moment for anyone— something to be celebrated and cherished. Most would be confessing it under far different circumstances, instead you’re staring at that same man with hurt welling in his eyes. You run away from it like a coward, forced to bury it deep and shove it away before it has a chance to break you.
His shoulders fall as if all life has been drained from him. He waves an outstretched hand to nothing in particular, but there’s no life in the movement. “This.”
Uncomfortable silence stales between you, and his eyes flicker up to meet yours. You see his brother’s softness in his face — a vulnerability he makes sure to keep from you. The look paired with the answer he gave crushes you. There’s a real possibility that you could lose him now that you’ve done an expert job of pushing him away. The need to be closer compels you to take a step, and you start to circle your way around the island. “So this is it then?”
Your hand follows the hard edge of the counter as you round the corner, sliding across its smooth surface. You grip onto it, using it as the only thing to ground yourself until you’re standing beside him. He doesn’t say a single word, move an inch, or even make an attempt to look at you. If anything, he stiffens from your presence. Feeling like he’s giving up on you, you challenge in a low voice, “Are you really done because you got jealous?”
“I’m not fucking jealous!” he shouts, slamming his hand down onto the counter through the resurgence of that rage. You jump back hearing the cutting board rattle beneath his palm, but it doesn’t scare you away. He’s just as scared, breathing heavily, watching you reach a hand out from the corner of his eye. He flinches when you touch his arm, but he doesn’t move away from you. In a weaker, pained voice, he says, “Do you actually think I don’t care about you?”
“Jake?” You whisper meekly, just barely grazing over his splayed fingers out of sheer desperation to connect with him in some way. Your heart aches when you see him pull his hand from yours, leaving behind a red stain across the wooden board. “Jake, please.”
You step into the heat and scent of his body, bringing yourself inches from him. Your broken pleas are the only thing you can offer, begging your way in despite his rejection to keep you out. He warns with your name pushing past his lips through a tired sigh.
You ignore it. With only a breath between you, you nudge your nose into the side of his neck, brushing your lips across the warm skin so faintly he might question if the feeling is real. He shudders through a harsh swallow but doesn’t push you away. You abandon your morals, kissing his throat with much more intent. A soft groan echoes in his throat as your tongue flicks across him and in the blink of an eye, he snatches your wrist, pulling you back.
You suck in a sharp breath, startled by his movements. While the hold he has on you isn’t painful, it’s firm, keeping you pinned between him and the island’s granite edge.
His other hand finds the nape of your neck, and he knots his fingers in your hair, forcing you to look up at him. You watch, dumbfounded as his bloodshot eyes scan over your face until they lock with yours. You accept your vulnerable state, submitting to him without a single word of protest.
“Oh, dove,” he hums, clicking his tongue. “Look at you…whimpering and crawling your way back to me like this. Do I need to lick your wounds for you, too?” He mocks in that gravelly voice of his, sending the words across your lips, each one bathed in whiskey as if he had recently taken a sip. You know he’s far from drunk, remembering the half-filled rocks glass sitting on the counter. “It’s pathetic. Did he even make you cum? Or did he need Josh’s help for that too?”
It should piss you off—the way he’s speaking to you like this. If you had any sense or dignity left, you would shove him off you and storm back into Josh’s room to gather your belongings.
Knowing you don’t have a response, he continues, “My sweet, beautiful dove. Is that name even fitting for you anymore? Or are you a cuckoo — tricking your way into my nest pretending to be something you’re not? I trusted you, yet here I am with betrayal finding me once again.”
“I’m sorry,” you squeak out, your strength cracking beneath him.
“Why should I let you back in? Do you think you’ve earned my forgiveness?” He hisses, his hurt seeping into the hushed sound. You don’t blame him. You’re not even confident that you could convince yourself that you deserve it. Left speechless, you’re only able to look up at him, glassy and doe-eyed with your tears falling freely down your flushed cheeks.
The sight of you changes something within him. He curses to himself before his lips collide with yours, angry and needy. He ruts himself against you, letting go of your wrist to brace himself on the counter. The kiss is heady— desperate with hunger as if he has been starving for this. He pants your name in a bated breath, confessing, “Don’t you see my weakness for you?”
It makes you throb to hear it. You need him. God, you need him and you don’t care what it’ll cost you. He devours you, licking into your mouth to consume everything he can. The smokey taste of him, the feeling of his dominant tongue running along yours, the nipping of his teeth on your lips. With your hand free, you search across his thigh, quickly finding his erection through his sweatpants. The thin fabric does nothing to hide it, letting you feel how hard he truly is.
You stroke your fingers over his covered length, but he stops you from dipping them beneath his waistband. Breaking away from the kiss, he warns, “I’m not going to be gentle with you.”
“I don’t care,” you whine into his mouth, fighting the grasp he has around your arm.
He squeezes your hand, emphasizing again, “I’m serious. I’m not going to be careful, dove.”
You glare into his eyes, staying in his darkened irises — perhaps to call his bluff or maybe to bait him further. “I want this.”
“Fine,” he huffs, releasing your hand. He then steps back, flipping you around to face away from him. Before you can react, he places a hand flat between your shoulder blades, pushing you down until your chest is flush with the counter’s surface. You shiver the chill of the stone against your hardening nipples through your shirt. “Is this really what you want?”
You swallow to wet your tongue, answering, “Yes.”
Without another warning, his open palm connects with your ass, cracking against the flesh with a powerful slap. You cry out as the sting radiates, prickling the skin with its heat.
“I turn my back for one second and I catch you giving your perfect pussy away to him.” His fingertips skim across the raised mark he left, tracing along the edge of your panties before hooking the band and pulling the cotton down your legs. You hear the threads of it rip on the way to the floor, then feel his fingers ghost over your bare cunt. He spits, and you imagine how it looks as he starts stroking himself before pressing the head of his cock to your entrance. “Don’t forget your color.”
There’s no foreplay to get you ready for him this time because he buries himself inside you in a single powerful thrust. The moan that heaves from your chest is guttural. You welcome the pain of him stretching you out so quickly, groaning as it melts into pleasure when he slowly withdraws.
He doesn’t allow you to bask in it for long, snapping his hips forward to ram himself back into your cervix. His hand grips around your waist, balling the material of your shirt between his fingers.
He lives up to his word, fucking you harder than he ever has before. There’s no doubt that this is fueled by his anger or possibly a newfound hatred for you, but you take it all in, biting back your muffled cries. While your teeth create a row of indents into the flesh of your forearm, his fingers dig deeper into your hip. He doesn’t talk you through like he has in the past, giving you the sounds of his ragged breathing instead.
The rhythm he uses is unrelenting. The power behind his thrusts is unprecedented. He’s rough with you, just as he promised, pressing you against the cold, hard granite, left with nothing to brace yourself. You’re lost in it, overwhelmed by the fact that this might be the very last time you have him.
Fearful that you won’t be able to handle much more, you whimper out, “Jake.”
He suddenly freezes at the sound of his name and takes a minute for the both of you to catch your breath before pulling completely out of you. You panic thinking that it might be over, and plead over your shoulder. “No, don’t stop!”
“Color?”
“Green.”
He waits for a second before spinning you around to lift you onto the countertop. He slips himself back in, and after seeing how much you’ve been crying, tucks the hair stuck to your temple behind your ear and cradles your face to kiss you.
“Close your eyes for me,” he instructs calmly, effectively shushing you. You clutch onto his shoulders and wrap your legs about the small of his back, locking him inside you as you allow your eyelids to flutter closed. He holds you still, sending the warmth of his fluttering breath until his tongue passes over your cheek in a delicate flick. He licks up the trails of tears across your skin, cleaning the dried salt as he makes his way to your soaked lashes. He’s breaking you apart only to put you back together again.
A choked sob escapes you, “I’m so sorry, Jake.”
He groans in response to the sounds of your weeping, biting at your swelling cheek before burying his face in the crook of your neck. He breathes you in, and finds a new pace, gliding into you with a controlled ease.
“Say it again,” he growls against your ear with a deliberate thrust. “I need to hear you beg for it.”
“I’m sorry,” you whine, but absentmindedly. You’re more than distracted, using most of your focus on the way his cock hits your g-spot from the change in angle.
“Sorry for what?”
“For Kai,” you blurt out.
His hand wraps around your throat, tight enough to grab your attention and redirect it to him. “Use your words.”
You look at him, blinking away the cloudiness from your vision to see the sweat glistening across his forehead and his heavy-lidded eyes covering his blown pupils. You can be upset at him later, but for now, you give him the apology he wants. “I’m sorry for fucking Kai.”
He brings his lips to the shell of your ear — his exhale blowing from his nostrils like air from a pair of bellows. “I thought I told you I don’t fucking share, dove,” he scolds with the words searing off his tongue. “I let you fuck Josh.” A chill runs down your spine because he knows your feelings for his twin. Before tonight, this was all a role, an act that he knew turned you on. That line between it and the real him is becoming more and more blurred, with the phrase ringing in your ears, echoing around in your mind. “Don’t forget that.”
“Jake—“
He interrupts by swiping his wet fingers across your lips, painting them in a sticky, crimson smear. You lick across them, but there’s no denying the metallic taste of blood on your tongue. “Your pussy is mine,” he snarls, letting his jealousy possess him entirely.
He pulls away slightly and guides you to lean back, creating space between you. You’re able to see the soiled state of Josh’s white t-shirt that you’re wearing. It’s stained in a spattering of bloody prints and wrinkled beyond recognition. You can’t dwell on it for long because Jake’s pace has quickened again, and when he realizes you haven’t responded, he snaps, “Say it!”
There’s ferality in his gaze, and you’re running off the adrenaline of it all — blinded by poisonous lust and raw emotion. “It’s yours.”
“Now touch it. Make yourself cum for me.”
You do as you’re told without hesitation, bringing your shaky fingers to your clit. He holds onto your hips as his line of sight floats from your face down to your pussy, watching you pleasure yourself while he continues to fuck you.��
You notice that his hair has fallen free from the hair elastic, draping most of his face in the curtain of chestnut locks. He’s held onto full control until this point, but now even he can’t hold back, grunting, “Fuck, I’ve missed this.”
Making eye contact with you, he tips his head and spits aggressively onto your swollen cunt — giving you an image you will never forget. He doesn’t even have to tell you what to do next. With slick fingers, you slip them effortlessly across yourself, using your favorite technique.
You’re close.
He’s beginning to falter as well, revealing to you that he’s not going to last much longer. You race to the finish line, frantic in your movements to make yourself orgasm. Fighting the temptation to cum, his strokes are a combination of deep and shallow, making sure to hit every spot inside you perfectly. He’s learned you well enough, after all.
“Be a good girl and make it up to me,” he pants desperately.
It doesn’t take much more for you to fall apart. Within seconds, it all comes crashing down around you. You claw for him to be as close as possible, tightening your shaky legs around his waist to keep him inside you. What would normally be euphoric moans sung into the air, are broken cries and muffled curses. It might’ve been the release you were craving the most, but not the one you needed.
Because you know when the dust begins to settle, you’ll be left with the truth of it all — those feelings without the sex to disguise them.
TAGLIST:
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Stitches
Marc Spector x GN!Reader • Rating: T Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • MK Bingo 2024 Masterlist •
Summary: Marc goes to A & E after you have an accident at work.
🌛For @moonknight-events MK Bingo Spring 2024 Event🌜
A/N: *gestures vaguely*
Warnings: swearing, reader has hair that gets shaved at the back, slimy guy called Luke
Word Count: 941
Marc was going to kill him. Kill everyone. It was a workplace for fuck’s sake, there were rules, regulations, fucking health and safety. They were meant to be in place to stop things like this happening, to stop things from happening to you.
He marched through the hospital entrance, the automatic doors taking a millisecond too long for his liking and he had been a hair's breadth away from kicking the glass in.
He turned sharply left, heading for A & E, and spotted Luke, fucking Luke, a moment after he spotted him.
And apparently Luke had a fucking death wish, because Marc’s scowl wasn’t enough to discourage the man from jumping to his feet and making his way over to him.
Luke swallowed nervously as he came over, brushing his hair back with his right hand. “Steven, mate,”
Oh, ‘mate’ was it? Marc clenched his jaw. The sudden urge to punch him square in the jaw was blisteringly overwhelming. His hand tensed, tendons trying to curl into a fist.
Kick him in the dick instead. Steven.
Not in public. Jake.
The surprisingly, but honestly unsurprisingly, agreement to violence from both of his headmates made Marc pause. Swallow. Try to calm himself.
“Where are they?” Marc said gruffly, too stressed to bother with even sounding vaguely Steven-like.
Luke stammered, a little on edge at the vicious tone of his voice. “I… Well…”
Marc glared.
Luke had been a lot more collected when they’d met a few weeks ago at your work’s Christmas party. Charming and slimy in the way he’d weaselled over and flirted with you right in front of Steven. Despite your blatant rebuttal of his advances. Despite your clear refusal of wanting anything to do with him. No matter how many times you’d showed disinterest at work he still just didn’t get the fucking message.
“Where are they?” Marc repeated, his voice cold and quiet.
“They, well, there was an accident…”
Marc bit his tongue, forcing the words ‘I fucking know that’, down. Even if he hadn’t been given the message already, the fact that they were in a fucking hospital should have been enough for Luke to gather that Marc had a vague idea of what was going on.
“They’re with a doctor now, they’re just getting some stitches and-”
Marc didn’t see red. Instead, it was as if everything went sepia, drained of colour to the point where nothing mattered at all. “Stitches?”
“Yeah, just a few-”
Marc stepped closer and Luke visibly cowered back suddenly realising the danger he was in.
“Can I help you?” A nurse, a young man with bright eyes who barely seemed old enough to be out of school, moved between them, glancing between Marc and Luke.
Luke said nothing, eyes wide still watching Marc for any sudden movements.
Marc spoke your name softly, looking down. “I’m their partner, are they…?” He swallowed, too many words all at once trying to force their way out of his mouth.
The nurse smiled kindly, “They’re fine, just with the doctor now down the hall. I’ll take you to them, okay?”
Marc faltered for a moment, his eyebrows pinched together. “Is that okay, is, is that allowed? I don’t want to get in the way of anything.”
The nurse shook his head. “No problem at all, come.” He gently touched Marc’s arm, just enough to get him to turn and walk with him.
You smile when the door opened and saw a rather ashen-looking Marc being ushered in by a kind-looking nurse.
“Doctor Ali, is it okay for the patient’s partner to come in?”
The doctor smiled and nodded her head, “Of course, I’m nearly done anyway.” She was busying herself with the equipment cart.
Marc rushed in and quickly knelt down next to you, “Baby,” he whispered, taking your hand and pressing his lips to your knuckles.
“Hey, hey,” you rubbed his back soothingly. “It’s okay, I’m okay.”
He looked up at you with glassy eyes and a growing lump in the back of his throat.
Slowly you moved your hand to his cheek and ran your thumb lightly over his skin. Newly growing stubble prickled against your fingers.
Marc closed his eyes for a second, letting out a long sigh through his nose and allowed himself to press into your touch before he placed a kiss to your wrist and looked back into your eyes.
“Though,” you smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little, “I might look a bit like a fifteenth century monk for a bit.” You pointed to the back of your head, moving slightly so Marc could see the patch of shaved hair and stitches.
“Fuck.” He muttered, his voice barely audible.
“It’s okay,” you smile. “It’ll grow back.”
Marc gave you a look, “you know I’m talking about the size of the wound.”
“I know.” You lean down and kiss his forehead.
“How did it happen?”
“I fell down, didn’t I?”
“Baby-”
You pull him a little closer so you can give him a proper hug, he lets out another sigh when you wrap your arms around him and kiss his temple. “I’ll tell you the whole boring story later, I promise.”
He nods. He knows, deep down, you’re only waiting until he’s calmed down a little, until the panic and nausea have left his heart and throat.
“I saw Luke in the waiting area,” Marc mutters, still pressed close. “I nearly punched him.”
You chuckle a bit at that in spite of yourself. “Amazing self control Spector.”
Marc’s eyes crease as he smiles. “The day is still young.”
____________________________________
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all my attention
part 1
warnings- swearing, smoking, fights (mention of blood), gets a bit sad toward the end
words: 4.8k (im sorry)
If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series
a/n- so I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well. anyways enjoy its my first Kaultiz fic so maybe a little everywhere but please read and enjoy 🤍
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backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?
I sat backstage messing around with my mic waiting to do sound check, I love my job and I'm lucky to be doing this at 17 but I do miss laying in bed all morning and not having to worry about what I look like constantly "Y/n we need you now!" our stage directer called to me pulling me from my thoughts, I stood fixing my sweatpants around my hips and carried myself to stage were Gustav was sat taping away at his drums "okay just need to go through where you'll stand in schrei" I nodded waiting for the man to decide "go top left" I complied and made my way to the corner near to the blonde boy
"does my snare sound normal to you?" I herd Gustav ask then a loud hit on the skin of the drum, it was lower sounding then usual
"no.. maybe tighten it again" he nodded and began playing with the bolts at the side
"Y/n can you speak into your mic" he asked sitting on one of the plastic chairs in the pit
"hellllooooo" I spoke getting a laugh from the drummer
"perfect...okay your done can you send Georg out" I nodded walking back out wiping my eyes as I made my way into our backstage room, 'quickest sound check ever' I thought to myself
"Georg they need you" he huffed rolling his eyes and grabbing his bass
"its way to early for all this" I agreed "its half fucking six!" he grumbled leaving the room, my attention turned to the only other person in the room, Tom, he was slouched on the sofa with his dreads freely sat on his head, we near enough had the same outfit on except he was wearing no shirt, as usual
"how did it go?" he spoke looking up to me to which I shrugged "oh Bill wont be back till like 12 he has meetings and vocal shit to do"
"I thought, anyways how was yours?" I spoke referring to the soundcheck
"well my guitar wouldn't come through the speaker, then the mic cut and I tripped so, perfect" I laughed at his words "anyways wanna smoke?"
"yeah" I hummed seeing him stand and grab his cigarettes from my bag I brought with me, we pushed the exit doors open and walked into the warm morning air that was finally in Germany, it felt like it had been winter for ages but finally It was warming up "I don't know whether I feel like performing tonight" I sighed as he handed me a cigarette, I brought it to my lips and he lit it for me
"why not? you love it" he was right but today just felt like... not a good day to do anything "you'll be fine when we get out there, I know you will"
"I just.. I don't know" I hummed breathing white smoke from my lips
"is it because of Brian?" Tom spoke making my head snap to him
"Brian! no of course not, me and him were done weeks ago I don't fucking care about him" I defended
"because you know he's gonna be their tonight Y/n. look I'm not the one to usually say this but nobody else is saying it- you broke up only two weeks ago and you've ignored what your feeling"
"fuck Kaulitz you're going soft" he laughed taking a drag "and I don't have a 'feeling'"
"I don't give a shit.. wait no I give a shit about you, not him, but honestly are you okay?" he spoke placing an arm over my shoulder to which I sighed again resting my head on him
"i...no, but I don't wanna think of it uno, he made me believe he loved me and that he was the one but all I saw was him hitting it off with a stupid bimbo" Tom's grip tightened comforting me "am I that bad?" I asked laughing solemnly
"I mean.. I" Tom began with a sly smile
"fuck off" I laughed shoving the dreaded man
"hey! I'm joking" he rolled his eyes at my childishness
"but I am sexy as fuck, I have piercings, fuck I dye my hair and yet I'm not better than a skanky, badly blonde haired big lipped whore" Tom shook his head stamping out his cigarette to which I followed
"well tonight play like the git isn't there and if anything find a fan pull them up and kiss their god-damn lips" Tom was a bastard for revenge, when his last girlfriend broke up with him (many years ago) he slept with 5 girls and sent her a picture with the caption 'pussy4ever' I looked back to the boy as he began to speak again "or kiss me?" he smiled wriggling his eyebrows
"yeah sure I will Thomas" we both laughed, in fairness we always found ourselves subtly flirting with one another but never really meant it, the little jokes, touchiness, it was all good fun. We walked back inside and watched as Gustav came off stage swirling drum sticks around his fingers and Georg with a grumpy look across his face
"whats wrong with you sunshine?" Tom spoke holding the backstage room door open for me which I whispered a 'thank you' and sat onto the brown, cold, leather sofa
"fucking bass wouldn't link!" he groaned going to the fridge in the corner and pulled out a water "every time we kept trying and in the end it was the wrong line" Georg slammed against the wall and hit his head
"dude calm down its fixed now" Gustav spoke looking at the bassist who was in no need of being told to 'calm down' Tom sat himself next to me and rested an arm around the back of the sofa occasionally tapping my shoulder and laughing every time I looked to see who it was, we all sat in a comfortable silence all In our own worlds- I was worried for tonight, seeing Brian again is making feel like I need to be sick, I just hoped I wouldn't mess up my parts.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
we were all quickly pulled from our heads and turned to the door where Felix our stage director was stood "we need you all, don't bring your stuff" he spoke in a hurry and running back to who knows where, we all sighed internally and stood up. Being closest to the door I held it open for the other 3 but they all waited
"just go-"
"Y/n we have this argument all the time" Gustav pushed me through the door before I could even argue back and they followed out laughing as I shoved the drummer back with a yelp leaving his mouth. We made it to the stage and walked to the middle, the feeling in my stomach got considerably worse as for the first time I realised how big the show was going to be my eyes curled around the room I couldn't even see the end of the building
"what are we doing?" Tom asked coming to stand next to me and resting his arm on my shoulder as for him I was 'perfect arm height'
"well I need to explain lights to you-" we all gave a small look to one another, nobody want to stand and listen to how the lights will be during the set but we also all knew we had no choice "so when you-" I acted like I was listening but I faded away, I stared right threw Felix and I imagined Brian instead, those fucking dark blue eyes, curly brown hair and that emotionless face he pulled when he said 'we're over' it's been 2 weeks since it happened and Tom was right I didn't really show that I was upset in front of anyone or how the moment haunts me, but they don't see what happens behind closed doors...
"Y/n" I herd a whisper into my ear and I looked to the boy beside me, his eyes looked worried "we need a few minuets" Tom's voice cracked through what Felix was saying and before the older man could interject I was pulled away back behind the curtain "you need tissue" he spoke, my forearm still in his hand as he dragged me into the bathroom next to our backstage room
"Tom I'm fine" he shook his head pulling toilet roll off and folding Into a square
"so do please tell me why you're crying?" I sighed, I knew he wouldn't stop till he got an answer or something from me
"strobes make me emotional" I spoke looking to the floor but he wasn't playing around
"look at me" he commanded but my head wouldn't let me, and I just stared to my shoes "please" at that it was like a release button was pressed and my head snapped up, our eyes met straight away but vision became watery "talk to me-"
"what did I do Tom? I tried everything, he had everything he said he wanted, and he's the only fucking one who's ever wanted me for me, not because of you four guys, not because of my work or money, he wanted me!" I sobbed as for the first time I finally told someone how I really felt "I haven't said a thing but to know he'll be here tonight makes me feel like shit- I can't look at him Tom, after everything we did and for him... for him to say its over and the same night fuck a girl kills me every day! I loved him and this is what I got-" I called in an almost scream, I leant against the wall and slid down until I could feel the tile on my legs and I just held my head, crying into my palms
"I know, and I know its going to be hard babe I know" he spoke and I felt his hand stroke my head "and he wont be the only one to ever want you, so many people will, I promise, you can find someone so much better- fuck sake you're Y/n Y/l/n!. and tonight we'll play the best we ever have just to show him, and I swear to fuck he tries anything on you, he'll be dead" I nodded finally lifting my head and looking towards the boy who just opened his arms for me while crouching, quickly I jumped to him which for the first time in a while- I felt at peace
"yeah..yeah we will" I breathed hiding my face in his neck
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6:00pm (one hour before the show)
"HELLO!" a voice rung into the room followed by a spiky haired boy who walked through the door "fuck me its dull in here" he laughed coming over to sit on his make-up chair
"where the fuck were you!" Tom called to his twin In a angry tone
"meetings and voice stuff" the other brother came back with
"you said you'd be back by 12!" Tom shouted
"I got caught up alright get over it I'm here!" Bill rolled his eyes and slipped of his shirt and began changing for the show, I decided it'll be best if I did the same, the other 3 were ready anyways
"I'll be back" I spoke getting up and going to my bag pulling my outfit out and walking to the bathroom. I locked the door and stared at myself in the mirror, my hair really needed a re-dye, the Y/H/C was really starting to fade, moving on I took off my vest and bra and pulled a lacy black one out and slipped it over me so I didn't have to unclip it, I saw a glimmer of light in the bag and pulled it out seeing a matching thong 'Fucking Clair' I smiled to myself and quickly slipped it on, I did look good I couldn't lie, I posed in the mirror and fixed my hair around my head- I needed a photo "CAN SOMEONE GRAB MY PHONE!" I called waiting to hear a knock as I combed through my hair with my nails
"here- woah" I herd a voice behind me say and I quickly turned seeing Tom looking me up and down with a smirk appearing on his face "who's that for?" he asked leaning against the door frame, his eyes set on my body
"well first of all- how did you get in I locked it, secondly its not for you Kaulitz so don't get you're hopes up" I spoke facing him and his eyes only widened "get out Tom" I laughed seeing him raise his hands in defence
"hey! don't blame me" he smiled placing the phone on the side and walking out and shutting the door which I promptly locked smiling at the idiocy of the boy "dudes she is in a thong!" I herd Tom telling the rest to which they all 'ooo'ed at
"CREEPS" I shouted hearing an up roar of laughter, I rolled my eyes and carried on pulling the phone up and snapping a few pictures of myself, then I grabbed the skirt which just about covered anything and a white top which usually matched Tom's as we decided we'd being doing that for the next few shows. I left the bathroom holding my old clothes and phone and saw all their heads spin to the door "god you guys need to get some pussy or something" I grinned seeing them all blush
"do a twirl Y/n" Bill spoke re-directing the conversation and so I did and he clapped when I bowed
"don't do that on stage if you're facing the crowd" Gustav smirked "I just saw your ass and I don't think your mother would be impressed if that happened"
"good call, someone write- don't bend at audience!" Georg spoke settling in his seat, we all sat and could hear the faint chats of the audience that was arriving, I began pacing around the room humming my lyrics to myself over and over
"smoke?" Tom asked to which I passed him out the door and waited for him outside, the cool night air hitting my skin "here- you need to calm the fuck down" I nodded taking the cig out the box
"I just don't wanna mess up" he smiled at me, lighting the end of the tobacco and then his own "what if they boo me or leave?"
"babe they won't" his hand wrapped around my waist and held me gently "everyone loves you out there, I've seen at least 100 people in your shirts, you've got it" I looked up to him and our eyes connected instantly "if anything look to me I'll do something alright?"
"like trip up or was that only for soundcheck?" he fake laughed rolling his eyes again making me smile, the distance seemed to shorten, we do have our moments but those are funny- this felt real...? tension building around us, eyes locked and ash falling by our feet
"you know-" he began
"TOM Y/N COME ON!" Bill crashed threw the door, hair standing on end and dressed in black (new for him) we quickly broke apart and took one last drag from our smokes before kicking them out and walking inside, people crowded us giving us mics, drum sticks, picks, guitars, sprays, you name it we probably had it
"WELCOME.... TOKIO HOTEL" the speakers sounded and the twins swagged onto the stage followed by me and Georg and Gustav last going to his kit
"GOOD EVENING TRIER" Bill called and the crowd erupted "how we all doing?" and the screams made us smile, it was such a familiar feeling but seeing everyone happy helped, Bill looked to me and gestured for me to come over so I brought myself to the front of stage passing Tom who winked to me getting a 'ooo' from the people in the room who saw, the black haired boy placed his arm around my head and the sea of people snapped pictures and screamed my name
"I think I know what the people want" I spoke with a smile, jokingly the boy 'leaned in' and screams of anticipation filled the building "no not that" I called as we pulled away and the boys behind got the cue to start playing schrei and I ran back to my place hearing the cheer only get louder as Bill began to sing- we loved destroying the imaginations of our fans, its thrilling there was always rumours, usually around me and that I am 'fucking them all' but it's defiantly not the case.
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It was time, I saw the boys look towards me and with a breath I joined the lead singer up front, being a backing singer I wasn't needed much but I was showing something tonight "so you all see my gorgeous girl Y/n here?" Bill spoke pulling me to the front of the stage, hands spiked up everywhere scratching to touch just a thread of our clothing "she has some news!" with a toothy smile Bill past me his mic and backed away back to the group behind- I wasn't used to being centre stage but it was crazy, I could see everything (ish) smiles and tear stained faces
"so you all know we haven't had new music in a few months right?" they all shouted incoherent words "well- you seem like a crowd who'd wanna see some new material!?" I looked back to the boys who were all dopily smiling at me as the people infront blew up in shouts "okay okay so, I wrote this song when I was at not an amazing time in my life.. I felt like giving up but instead, with the help of these, I wrote my feeling into a song, usually this would be preformed by our lovely Bill but.. just got tonight, I'll be singing" I hyped and the band got into places to start playing don't jump
I began singing the words and walking around the tip of the stage holding the hands of as many as I could 'On top of the roof
The air is so cold and so calm I say your name in silence' until my eyes landed on him- the words seemed to be pulled from my mouth, everything went silent and he knew what he'd done to me... the song was partially made because of what he did before we broke up, my mind switched as I herd the strum of Tom's guitar- remembering his words 'and tonight we'll play the best we ever have just to show him, and I swear to fuck he tries anything on you, he'll be dead' with a breath I carried on stomping my way back up stage to the rest of the band Bill was off the other side by Georg and I went to my place by Tom, a smile smothered his face as I stood facing him 'hi' he mouthed, I let my free hand reach for his face and held his jaw getting a roar from the fans, Tom placed a kiss to my palm and I soon let go trying to hide a very big blush from swamping my face and our next move came to play- we both turned back to back as his strummed his guitar, I leant against him spilling my lyrics until the beat jumped again 'I scream into the night for you Don't make it true Don't jump The lights will not guide you through They're deceiving you Don't jump' I walked back to mid stage being followed by Georg first who smiled at me and banged his head, then by Tom who only smirked sending me a wink. I got to the edge of the stage and hands reached to me and I tried to hold them all 'And if all that can't hold you back I'll jump for you' the song ended and the building blew up, cheers, screams, claps it was a rush, I blew kisses to them all, my mind forgot about what I was thinking before. Bill and Gustav joined us at the front and we all did a joint bow getting a laugh from us all, the others let go but Toms arm still stayed around my shoulder pulling me close
"see told you they'd love it" he whispered I smiled looking to him, he was sweaty and panting slightly as when he concentrates to much he forgets to breath, his arm pulled me even closer and he planted a kiss to my forehead before the lights turned off- our queue to get off stage the 5 of us were ushered off and as I stepped over to be in the backstage area someones arms scooped me into a hug though I couldn't see because the whole place was pitch black "Ugh you did so well" it was Tom's voice, calming me instantly "they loved the song!" he spoke settling me down but still had me close "told you they would" I looked back to the sweaty guitar player and he pulled my head to his as he pressed a kiss to my forehead again
"get room!" Gustav poked erring a laugh from he rest "nobody wants to see a softy Kaulitz!"
"eh what do ya mean- he aint soft" Tom quipped eyeing his friend up
"gross" Gustav laughed walking his way back to our room, me and the other boy followed and walked in to see Bill lay on the sofa with his makeup nearly rolling down his face due to being so hot
"Y/n I can't get over the audience" the black haired man spoke "god... that was one of my fave ever shows"
"I can't get over it" i went to my bag and pulled my cigarettes out and the boys all seemed to perk up again "coming?" I joked seeing them all get up as we went to the outside, it was dark with only the security lights illuminating the floor, I handed them all a ciggy and pulled my lighter out and burning the end "I saw Brian, he was just kinda stood there" they hummed "I'm over it- he can fuck who ever he fucking wants because none will ever be as good as me" I groaned feeling the hot smoke going out my mouth
"I saw him and he just looked sad, he misses you, I can tell" Bill spoke getting a shove from Gustav "what? I doesn't matter. All I was saying is that he looked sad probably because Y/n/n was happy unlike when he last saw her" I laughed, we stood in a silence finishing our cigs, stepping them out and walked into a runner calling all our names
"BILL!...GEORG!?" he looked out off breath "Finally- we need you all, meet n' greet" we all had the realisation and practically sprinted to our room and began to spray any aftershave or perfume we could find as after running round and singing you sweat, meaning we don't smell the best, me and Bill fixed our eyes and hair and then we all walked out like we hadn't just shit ourselves and made our way to the front of the building to see a line of (mostly) fan girls crying out
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"thank you so much I loved the show and the new song! holy shit it was amazing" a girl named Bethany spoke hugging us all one last time, we were told not many more people so we fixed ourselves up and waiting for the next person
"I love the flowers" I spoke looking at the roses a girl called Alicia brought me "is their anyone else-" as I spoke the door opened with Erik (our runner) holding it for the next fan, we all looked up and saw a brunette boy.... blue eyes "what the fuck do you think you're doing?... seriously!" Brians eyes were red and face tear stained, I felt myself tense up at the sight, all the boys stood scarily still
"I want to talk to you babe" his voice shook, those eyes staring into mine, its like he didn't realise he was in a room of people who really did not like him "please its me... baby please"
"don't call her baby" Tom grumbled " she doesn't have to do shit for you" I looked toward the boy, his hands in a ball already he moved quickly, towering over Brian
"Tom" Bill warned but no remorse went to his twin, we all watched as Tom stared down at Brian saying words to fast to even work out, Brain looked like he was about to break down nodding his head
"and I'm not fucking lying- you ever touch her, talk to her, anything... I wont fucking stop until you can't move and my hands are red- understand?" I looked toward the others, I wasn't scared for Brian but more worried that something would happen, Georg got the memo and walked to the guitarist placing a hand on his shoulder, I saw Tom relax and walk back to us leaving my ex standing with shock on his face, he looked back to me
"please" he pleaded 'shit' is all I thought as I saw Tom's face drop, his knuckles white he stormed back to Brian "...dude-" he squealed before the guitarist had him up the door slamming him back and forth, I watched as my ex's face became red trying to shove Tom back but him being a lot shorter- he had no chance, perfect "GET THE FUCK OFF ME DICK!" he shouted and Bill grabbed his brothers shoulder and pulled him off
"leave I-" the singer couldn't finish as a fist flew into his shoulder "WHAT THE FUCK" Bil'ls hand collided with Brians face sending him back quickly followed by Tom punching down at the boy, nobody touches the other twin without the other one getting involved. The fight continued until a scream cut the room, blood was on Toms arm and he stepped back, Gustav was keeping me back by our picture wall and Georg stood next to him and seized looking over
"damn-" Gustav hummed, I looked over to see Brian holding his nose and Tom proudly standing above
"this is your fucking fault Y/n... I should've dated you-" his words stung "this would have never bloody happened if I had just left you earlier!" my heart ached "fuck" he grumbled standing against the door, I looked to his eyes- black and blue. He took a step forward, stumbling slightly but he quickly found his feet again and came at me "YOU DID THIS!" I turned back waiting for my pain- a punch, a slap, a kick but I never felt it THUD I opened my eyes to see Georg on the floor slamming his fist into the boy again- he was really getting the works tonight
"BA-ST-ARD" he chanted before the door burst open to two runners with astonished faces who quickly grabbed their walkie-talkies and spoke some words I couldn't work out, within seconds security rammed in pulling Georg off of Brian who looked even worse and we were all taken back out "fucking dick what did he think he was doing!" and the five of us were pushed out the room
"arsehole" Tom stormed "hope he's in fucking pain for ages-"
"I can't believe he tried to punch me, ME!" Bill shook his head going through to our room I walked with Gustav giving him a 'look' to which he only nodded at "he's a dick" the boys all sat and I just stared into the mirror- those 5 minuets felt more like hours and I just didn't have any words
"this is your fucking fault Y/n... I should've dated you-"
"this would have never bloody happened if I had just left you earlier!"
"YOU DID THIS!"
those sentences flying around my head, I couldn't pull myself away from it, I just looked at myself, I just felt- wrong
"what the hell! why did I just have to see security drag a bloody nosed kid out that room!" Our stage manger burst in "you lot are a world famous band we don't need stunts like that being pulled! 16 people have had to miss a meet n greet because of it!" he shouted but I couldn't hear him really- I wasn't there "Y/n!" he shouted snapping me back
"I'm sorry" I spoke turning to face him
"it's not her fault" Gustav spoke "he was fucking deranged" I laughed slightly looking back at him with a smile
"I don't care! its not a funny matter, its disappointing" we all nodded as he walked out, I turned to the boys and looked to the twins, Tom had blood over him still and Bill just looked pissed off
"I think I'm going to go to the hotel..." I spoke grabbing my bag off the side and hanging it over my shoulder and pulling my skirt lower to feel more covered "bye-"
"wait-" someone spoke "I'll come lemme clean myself up first- five mins" it was Tom, I nodded and settled myself onto my make up chair watching him run to the bathroom
"we're not annoyed at you Y/n, its not your fault" Georg spoke coming over stroking my shoulder "he's a prick"
"I know- I just feel bad, you all basically got hurt because of him and the whole thing was so pathetic I doesn't even seem real like.."
"yeah I get it- its fine, just sleep it off alright" I agreed and watched through the mirror Tom come back in
"ready?"
#tom kaulitz#Bill Kaulitz#tom kaulitz x reader#tom kaulitz imagines#tom kaulitz smut#georg listing#tokio hotel#gustav schäfer#kaulitz twins#tom kaulitz icons#bill kaulitz
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𝐃𝐢𝐭𝐳𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐍𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐦, 𝐋𝐨’𝐚𝐤, 𝐊𝐢𝐫𝐢, 𝐓𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐚, 𝐀𝐨’𝐧𝐮𝐧𝐠)
People think you smoke a pack of weed when really you’re naturally high—
P.S. this meant to be funny, also short, and got inspired by Portia from Barbie and Charmschool. Anyways enjoy
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Neteyam
He’s confused at first. You sometimes say something random or respond in weirdest way possible.
“(y/n), have you seen Lo’ak?” “Oh I don’t know. He usually go near the pond, do you think he secretly into witchcraft?” “Uhhhh…”
He tried to help you with using a bow, but before that you showed how you use it, he can’t believe you still survived from those hunts.
“Like this” the string that was supposedly to be at back is now in front while the hard wood is at the back.
“(y/n)” he sighed, “that’s not how you use it.”
Lo’ak
Mostly thinks you smoked. His dad did talk about what humans use to make them very relax to the point they can barely think.
He asked you once and you respond with, “No, I’m sugarfied.” The fuck is a sugarfied?
“Son, I think they’re taking a harder drug than I expected.” Now Jake is also convince you do drugs.
Either way, he thinks it’s fun and sometimes hilarious being with you.
You one time called a mushroom a cupcake plant
Kiri
Honestly same. Your most random questions made her think real hard.
“If Eywa is everywhere, do you think she saw me naked?” “Huh, you might be onto something.”
Also shares her weirdest question which you replied with weirdest answer.
“Hey, (y/n) do you think ikrans could also swim?” “No, but I think they could fly” “well isn’t that what they do?” “Oh I thought they just walk” “…I feel bad for your ikran, (y/n)”
Somehow your high persona matches her calm vibes
Tsireya
Kinda likes you because of it. Laughs at your weirdest remarks.
“If we have the same fins as the fish, why can’t we breathe under water?” “Well um, different anatomy?” “But I thought anatomy is for plants.”
Honestly she somehow cracked the code and translate for you
“Do you think birds could fly?” “(y/n) meant when is dinner—“
She’s now your personal translator
Ao’nung
Must be something wrong with you. You don’t make sense at all. He always hears the weirdest things from you
“Oh Eywa, I didn’t know people make clothes, I thought they came from trees.” Ao’nung just gave you a blank stare.
He once saw you hunt a with a spear, definitely not using the the sharp part, “you’re not holding it right, skxawng.” “But I got a fish” you pull the bottom of the spear with a fish pierced to it.
What is it that makes you sound so ridiculous? Is it what you eat? But what he have seen you eat normally. He one time asked your mother if something is wrong with you.
“Oh yeah, I’ve been seeing her flying up the tree for no reason.” “You mean climbing?” “What’s that?” Now he knows where you get it from.
A family that stay high together, dies together (don’t smoke kids.)
#avatar 2009#avatar way of water#avatar 2#atwow#avatar x reader#avatar#avatar fanfiction#aonung#avatar headcanons#neteyam#atwow hcs#atwow x reader#atwow fanfiction#aonung x reader#neteyam x aonung#loak x reader#kiri x reader#tsireya x reader#avatar tsireya#avatar ao'nung#avatar neteyam#avatar kiri#avatar loak#atwow kiri#atwow ao'nung#atwow headcanons#atwow loak#atwow tsireya#atwow neteyam
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Hello!! Can I be your new annonieee? >_<
Thinking about worker!Jake , that's so good at his job that Boss!Y/n had to give him a reward , sub Jake sounds so sweet , right?^^
-🧸
Hi 🧸!!! And yes this sounds so so sweet!
It was near closing time and one of your employees, Jake, had done an amazing job today, actually for every day he’s been here, he cleaned up all the tables and did good at seating people, he would do all of the coffee orders correct and all while holding back drinking it.
You couldn’t help but feel so proud of him for this, so when you notice him getting his stuff together you decided to go over to him and talk to him,
"Wait jake, why don't you stay back for a little while so that i can talk to you about a little promotion?"
the puppy looking boy looking at you, his eyes round and looking at you whilst his ears were perked up.
"Okay but only for a little bit, i should get to my apartment to make sure that no one broke in or something..." he joked.
"Yeah, it won't take too long anyways so don't worry.."
you took him back to the office that you stayed in most of the time when he didn't have shifts because why be out when he's not around? no reason to because honestly nobody else is worth looking at.
So you decided to just do what you thought best and give him a little reward he deserved.
All that could be heard from the front desk was slurping sounds and Jake’s tail hitting your desk from wagging so much.
“A-ah wait! Right there!” The pup called out whilst you sucked off his nice sized, red tipped penis.
He watched the way you struggled to fit himself down your throat but amazed at how you managed to anyways, he didn’t ever dare to push your head down, scared if he did you’d stop.
“My little puppy..” you hummed around his before licking a stripe up the underside of his length.
His hips bucking up into your throat as he came into your warm confines.
You just swallowed everything that flew into your mouth, coming up and kissing his plush and plump lips. Looking at his eyes.
“Did pup have a good finish?..”
He weakly nodded until a whimper came out of him, your hand jerking up and down his still hardened cock, “maybe we’re not done just yet…”
You rubbed up and down his dick for a few minutes while he whimpered and bit his lip, you pulled away and he whined loudly
“No! I was so close!”
“Shh, I’m just gettin started.”
You pulled off your pants and he smiled at the sight of your silk panties, ones he happened to love.
“Nice…”
You laughed softly at this, taking his dick and coming close till your hips touched, pulling off your shirt so his tip touched your tummy, he looked down at you putting your hand over the over side of his penis while one side was against your abdomen.
“What are you doing?…”
He stopped when you started to move your hand a bit, rubbing over his tip and even moving your body so he’d get off, but when you decided to move him and sit him down on your chair and straddle his lap, pushing your panties aside, his nose catching the scent of your arousal.
“Please..”
You only shook your head and brought his hand to your core, his fingers already getting to work at the opening of your cunny.
He lodged his fingers into you, making you gasp softly at the new founded feeling you didn’t even get through your last relationship.
Hips stuttering while he fucked you on his fingers, pushing against your walls and digging deeper until he found your g-spot.
“Right there baby..keep going..”
He nodded and looked up at your face, he worried because you looked like you were in pain, gosh the innocence in him, just following whatever you said.
“Is that go-“
Water? No..some kinda juice pouring from your cunt. He didn’t know what it was, he’s never seen it before.
“Did I hurt you?”
He saw you shake your head but was still confused because what could that have of meant?
“What was it?”
“You made me squirt..”
He picked up the sound of your nervousness, you truthfully haven’t even done that before so now that you were sitting on his lap with his fingers soaked and his pants damp, he was a curious puppy.
He brought his fingers up to taste it, licking it off and looking up at you.
“I like it..”
You didn’t think watching someone lick your own juices off their fingers could be so hot but…
Clearly you were wrong, so you just pet his ears which to your knowledge were sensitive, so sensitive his hips bucked up and he whimpered as soon as they bucked up too high and his tip rammed into your pussy.
“Shit!”
He immediately arched off the back of the chair. He grabbed your hips and forced the rest of his cock into you, he couldn’t get enough of that feeling, such a new feeling.
“Wait! Jake stop!”
He couldn’t, his hips fucking up into you as his tip kept pushing against your cervix, you crying out ever though you didn’t want him to stop, but you wanted to be in control so you grabbed him by his hair and pulled it back.
“Did you not hear me? I said stop.”
“I can’t! Fuck..feels so good..”
He begged for the last few minutes while you sat there looking down at him debating whether or not you let him do the work for now.
“Only for a few minutes.”
That’s all he needed, hell he could cum in just a few seconds, so whilst he kept fucking up into you, and you holding onto his shoulders, he kept on chasing his high.
“I’m close!”
He warned but before you could process you felt his seed spilling into you and coating your walls. He stopped and panted heavily, his body trembling while his ears laid flat against his head, his tail wagging.
“Puppy..”
His ears perked up at the sound of your voice but he couldn’t look at you, he was too tired, but when you went to get off and grab a few things to clean him up.
“Please stay, I don’t wanna clean up yet…”
You looked at him and nodded slowly, realizing he just wanted you to be close to him, so for the next few hours of that night y’all sat there until he agreed to getting cleaned up as long as you promised to come to his apartment and cuddle with him till y’all fell asleep.
(Okay I know this is low key shitty but I’m having such a bad writers block and I have strep throat and I can’t breath through nose so bear with me please! I’m trying to get these asks done and everything but I’ve been out of town all week and going through a bad heartbreak so I’ve been having some down time.)
#enhypen#enha smut#enhypen drabbles#mwah <3#jake sim#jake drabble#enhypen jake#enha jake#jake enha#strawbrrycuteblog#mature theme#mature story#ty for the ask <3#ty <333#ma
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The Jacuzzi Incident
Bradley Bradshaw x reader
4k words
summary: You spend your Christmas holidays with the squad in your uncle's cabin and sharing the jacuzzi with Bradley ends steamy in more than one way.
tagging a bunch of people who said they'd like to be tagged in more parts: @roostergooster @pono-pura-vida @chassy21 @startrekfangirl2233-fic-recs @schreksdoubledeckerhomechecker @sometimesanalice
a (not so) little addition to "Oh No, There's Only One Bed" and “Oh No, There's An Arm Around My Waist”, can be read seperately tho
top gun masterlist
This was not what you had expected your Christmas holidays to go like.
To be honest though, it was all kind of your fault. You had most definitely got yourself into this situation. You couldn't even blame anyone else.
Why had you been so social anyway? So generous? Your uncle had offered you his "sanctuary in the middle of the woods", you, no one else. You didn't have to invite the squad to tag along. You could have been up here all alone, enjoying the snow, going skiing, taking walks - meditating or some shit, doing your own thing and living your life to the fullest. You'd have spent a peaceful, happy Christmas, visited your grandparents, maybe taken your uncle's truck and met up with one of your childhood friends who you only ever saw when you were here for the holidays.
But no.
This way you were sitting in a crowded, noisy kitchen, sipping your hot cocoa in a cozy poncho next to Coyote and listening to Phoenix and Jake bicker. Fanboy and Payback were sharing the couch, huddled close together under one blanket and watching their third Christmas movie - some rom com you usually would have been totally into if you hadn't been so incredibly focused on Bradley Bradshaw.
Because Bradley Bradshaw - despite the temperature - was leaning against the counter top opposite you, talking to Bob with a cup of coffee in his hands, a towel snug on his hips and his very naked torso in direct line of sight.
You were freezing your ass off inside and he was walking around shirtless.
Phoenix elbowed you in the side so hard you almost doubled over, your hot cocoa spilling onto your hand, making you hiss.
"Phee, what the fuck?", you complained, carefully putting your cup down on the kitchen table.
"You're drooling", she grinned, raising her eyebrows and you could have slapped her, honestly. You'd been here for about one and a half days now and you felt like you were going crazy already - you needed her support, not her teasing.
"I'm not", you insisted, a bit too harsh maybe, but just maybe.
She leveled you with that Phoenix stare that could make anyone in the near vicinity squirm, tilting her head to very obviously stare at Bradley and then back at you.
"You so are."
"Shut up!" You swatted at her bicep, turning to look at Bradley too and.... Yeah. Fine. Okay. Maybe you had been drooling just a little bit. But Bradley was an attractive man, who could blame you? You were friends, yes, platonic friends, but you could still appreciate that he was handsome, no?
Phoenix just chuckled, patting your shoulder as she left the kitchen, to go join Fanboy and Coyote maybe or to go shower or whatever - you couldn't even particularly pretend to care, not when Bradley suddenly looked at you, meeting your eyes, the corners of his lips tugging upwards just the slightest bit as he noticed you staring, your throat bobbing, your mouth drying up, setting off your fight-or-flight response instantly.
You decided to flee this time.
Like all the other times.
You looked away and scrambled off your chair, almost slipping on the laminate floors, sprinting through the doorway, through the living room and up the stairs until you could collapse onto your bed, face-first onto the pillows. You were sharing this room with Phoenix (the cabin was big, yes, but it wasn't that big. People had been forced to share) and you could smell her perfume on the sheets, reminding you that you really had to ask her where she'd got it from.
For a second you debated screaming.
You weren't really mad that you'd taken the squad with you. Not at all. The drive here had been fun already and the first evening as well and honestly, despite Jake constantly squabbling with everybody, you'd really been more than happy so far. But peaceful, like you'd wanted your Christmas to be? No, peaceful was a word that didn't exist with the squad around.
A knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts. You sat up so fast that you got a head rush, blinking twice to make out Bradley leaning against the doorway - with jeans on and a sweater and a genuine smile on his lips.
"Hey", he said, all easy and smooth and you swallowed hard.
"Hi", you croaxed, leaning back onto your palms and staring up at him as he pushed himself away from the door and reached your bed in a few long strides. You forced yourself to stare right at his face, not allowing even your imagination to go any lower than that, because that might just have done you over completely.
"You left your cup in the kitchen. Thought I'd bring it to you before it goes cold", he explained, setting said cup down on your side table and oh yeah. He'd been carrying a cup. Your cup.
"That's- My Cocoa, right, yes! That's lovely, you're lovely, thank you."
You felt like you were stumbling over your own words, a flush of red settling in your cheeks. This was stupid. You were stupid. All of this was stupid. Bradley was a friend. You shouldn't be thinking like this. Why were you nervous? You'd known this man for years. You trusted him more than anyone else (which, perhaps, was just a side-effect of your job, but whatever).
And yet.
And yet you couldn't even say that this was the first time.
But you were fine! This was fine. Seriously fine.
Bradley made an appreciative noise somewhere in the back of his throat and sat down on the edge of your bed.
"No problem", he said, then paused for a second. "Everything alright? You seemed a bit off this morning."
"Oh!"
You were honestly a little surprised by that. You really shouldn't have been - this was Bradley. Bradley was observant - incredibly so - especially when it came to you. You couldn't have counted all the times he'd known exactly what you needed (a cuddle, a cup of tea, some water, a chocolate bar, more cuddles) like a goddamn mind reader even if you'd tried.
"No, I'm fine. Really", you nodded, more to yourself than to Bradley if anything. "Just a bit cold I guess."
"Alright", Bradley agreed, still raising his eyebrows at you like he wasn't quite convinced. And he was right, anyway. You weren't fine. You were more than just cold. But you certainly wouldn't tell him that. "Well then. Bagman actually had a decent idea for once and is pulling the cover off the jacuzzi. He's roped the others into making punch. You won't miss out on the jacuzzi, will you?"
There was a grin on his lips now, an honest grin that you couldn't help but mirror. Oh, the jacuzzi. Perhaps - probably! - your favourite part of this entire cabin. Jake had really had a good thought for once.
"Are you kidding me? The jacuzzi is my best friend! I'll be out in ten with towels for everyone!"
You could only hear Bradley's chuckle as you jumped up and slid (fuzzy socks on laminate flooring) out of the room. You would absolutely do anything for that jacuzzi. And it was just the distraction you so desperately needed.
...
Ten minutes later, you were already feeling a lot better - the prospect of punch and jacuzzi had lifted your mood incredibly. You'd changed into the swim suit you had brought for exactly this situation, had gone hunting for enough towels and had even found a bathrobe that you slung over your own shoulders.
Phoenix, Fanboy, Payback, Coyote and Jake were already sitting in bubbling water, laughing and talking, all with cups of punch in their hands. You felt almost giddy, all happy energy fizzling in your stomach, as you put down the towels on the nearby sun loungers and hung your robe over the back of a chair before carefully easing into the jacuzzi. And then you quite literally melted.
Outside was ice-cold, but the water was sizzling hot in comparison, fog rising up and shrouding you. You sat down next to Phoenix and grabbed a cup of punch from the edge of the hot tub, taking a sip and then settling against the back wall. A sigh left your lips. This was perfection. You'd missed the jacuzzi so very dearly.
The conversation the other five were having faded into background noise as you closed your eyes and tilted your head back, relaxing into the warmth and simply being present in the moment while being so very far away at the same time. Your body here, in the warm, cozy, comfortable water, the taste of punch on your tongue, the chatter of your friends in your ear and a smile on your lips, your mind losing itself to time and space, breathing in, breathing out, allowing any thought to pass, to come and go however.
You were here. In this wonderful, secluded cabin, in a wonderful, warm jacuzzi, with wonderful, many friends. This was the life. This was, even though you hadn't thought it possible, peaceful.
You settled even further into the water, took another sip of your punch and rested your head against the edge, a content smile on your lips.
Then someone else dipped their legs into the water and you opened your eyes again as Bradley sat down next to you, his side pressing into yours, the grin on his lips making your smile deepen.
"Hi", you muttered, keeping your eyes fixed on his face and just his face (which you had to put a lot of your focus on) because he was way taller than you and while you were settled deep into the water, it barely covered half his torso. In short, his collarbones were mere inches from your nose and you felt like running a line of kisses along them. So yeah, distraction and escapism it was!
"Hey", he smiled back, holding his cup with one hand and putting his other arm around the edge of the tub - also mere inches from your body. If you just leaned back a bit further, he'd have his arm around you........ What about that distraction again? You desperately needed that distraction.
You swallowed and took another sip of punch, just to not have to stare at him for a second.
"Didn't you just shower?", you asked then, frowning to try and keep your mind off of the fact that Bradley was a half-naked god - which, well, thinking about him in the shower didn't really help with.
"Well yes", he laughed. "If I'd known this was the plan, I would have showered after."
You couldn't help but chuckle.
"Cheers then", you grinned as you clinked your cup to his and raised it to your lips, closing your eyes to savour the taste on your tongue.
Oh yes, this was a real Christmas holiday. A cabin in the woods, cold air freezing your nose, hot water keeping the rest of you warm, punch settling in your stomach, your friends' conversation all around you.
You let out a content sigh and leaned an inch further into Bradley, enough for his bicep to press to your skin, your breath quivering for a heartbeat - this wasn't unsual, you'd often been tucked into his arms, lingering for just a second too long, but normally he was wearing a bit more than swimming trunks and you a bit more than a bathing suit. There was a heartbeat of uncertainty, then you felt his fingertips skimming along your shoulder, a barely-there touch that froze you in place with a smile on your lips that felt as though it would split your face in half.
You didn't dare to move further.
The heat of the water, the heat of the cup in your hands, the heat of him. The cold of the air that you didn't realise was there anymore. The simple, soft touch of his fingertips. The firm press of your side to his. The sound of the squad's conversation as Bob climbed into the tub - "You didn't think that it looked a bit baggy?" "Baggy? What kind of question is that?" "That's an absolutely appropriate question! It was an incredibly important Halloween costume - right, Bob?" "I don't really want to comment-" "It was important! How could it not have been important? There was a contest! You should have told me that it looked baggy!" "I didn't say it looked baggy, I asked if it maybe looked a bit baggy." "There's no difference!" - but you barely registered any of that actually happening.
You just existed there, for a moment, in Bradley's arms, love in your chest that curled and unfurled, burned softly into every part of your body, in a totally platonic way. Honestly, you weren't sure if maybe you'd dozed off at some point - it was cozy and comfortable and peaceful and you just couldn't help yourself. The alcohol slowly taking effect, the water, the steam, the warmth, all of that was easily making you feel drowsy. Though you couldn't say you were complaining, not in the slightest.
It was just a bit confusing, truly, when you opened your eyes, yawned and realised that not only was the tub empty except for you and Bradley, but also that your head was resting on his shoulder. Sometime in your (half-)nap it must've rolled to the side - right onto the first available pillow: Bradley's very wide, very naked shoulder.
You straightened your back and turned to look at him, blinking a few times to clear your hazy view.
"Mornin' Sleepyhead", Bradley greeted with a grin, immediately making you blush and chuckle a bit.
"Sorry", you said and scooched a little further away from him, just to be safe. You tried to ignore the fact that you'd just slept in his arms. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on- on you?"
"As long as you were comfortable", he laughed - pulled his arm away though and stretched it. You bit your lip and swatted at his shoulder.
"Did your arm fall asleep? Bradley, you should've said something. Or moved. Or-", you paused, eyebrows pinching together. "Where's my cup?"
You couldn't remember putting it away. You hadn't put it away. You hadn't even finished it.
"Oh, I rescued that cup before you could dump it in the water", he grinned and pointed at two cups far away enough from the edge of the tub to definitely not run any risk of being droppedd into the water. You had to smile. This was exactly what you loved about Bradley - just how considerate he was. How much attention he paid to every little detail around him. Around you.
"Thanks", you muttered. "The others went inside?"
Bradley nodded.
"A while ago", he said. "They're making dinner."
You swallowed at that. The kitchen was on the other side of the cabin. And for the first time, you really realised how very alone you and Bradley were here.
Just you and him, the hot tub, two half-finished cups of self-made punch, the silence, your breath forming little clouds and mixing with Bradley's somewhere in mid-air as you looked at him - damp hair and droplets running down his chest, hazel eyes that you were too familiar with already.
You didn't know what to say. They're making dinner. The others. Right. The others, in the kitchen, in the cabin, making dinner. You and Bradley, out here, in the hot tub, all alone.
You'd been alone with Bradley countless times.
This shouldn't feel different. This didn't feel different. Did it? Maybe you'd always felt this way about Bradley. Like some thick, heavy, heady fog was hanging over you, clouding your vision and poisoning your mind, like every fibre of your body was vibrating somehow, vibrating with hope and warmth and happiness, with anticipation, your teeth digging into your lip and snow catching on your lashes.
Snow.
You let out a gasp as you tilted your head back, staring up into a darkening, cloudy, white sky, a white sky with snow falling down, tiny little specks of white.
Snowflakes.
Snow, it was snowing!
"Bradley!", you squealed, laughter in your voice, dripping down like honey into this syrupy tension between you, glancing at him to make sure he was looking up - he wasn't, he hadn't been, not until then, no, he'd been watching you, but now that you were meeting his eye, he tilted his head back too. You felt heat crawl up your cheeks, felt the smile on your lips that you just couldn't push down.
You didn't know what this all meant. You didn't really want to think about it.
You were sharing a hot tub with a friend. This was no different than it had been with the rest of the squad here. Just that there was snow now.
Snow! Actual snow. God, how you'd missed the snow here! So far you hadn't had snow in San Diego. You weren't even really sure it snowed in San Diego at all. But it definitely snowed here. Soft little flakes, painting your skin as you looked up into the sky, painting your hands as you reached up into the air, painting your tongue as you opened your mouth and tried to catch a few of these white flecks.
"Last time I saw snow has to have been four, five years ago", Bradley said softly, his voice quieter than usual, as though he was almost afraid if he talked too loudly, he'd scare the snow off again.
"That long?", you asked, matching his volume, tilting your head to watch him smiling at the sky like a child, beautifully happy. You were grinning too, you knew that, you knew that you couldn't help it and that he probably couldn't either.
"That long", he nodded. You paused for a second to admire him - hair wet at the ends now, throat all on display for you, lips parted and breathing deeply. He may have been in awe of the snow, but you were in awe of him. Of this incredible, kind, supportive, observant, loving man who'd always been there when you'd needed him. Who was here now. Who'd always been here and who'd always be here.
He turned to face you then, white snowflakes catching in his hair and a genuine smile on his lips, and usually you'd have been embarrassed that he caught you staring but right now, you didn't care - you couldn't care, because you couldn't tear your eyes away from him, not when he was looking so much like... Like what, exactly? You didn't think there was anything to compare him to. He looked ethereal, heavenly, celestial, so much child and adult at the same time, human and yet somehow more than that. You felt like you were looking at all of him in this heartbeat, at any and every part of his soul, bared for you, unfolding here, right now, while you were simply watching, reading him, every strength and every flaw, every nook and every crook, every joy and every fear. In this breath, he wasn't a fighter pilot, he wasn't even your best friend - he was just Bradley Bradshaw, just himself.
You felt him, learned him, studied him, every part of him.
Maybe that was why you knew that he'd move before he did, why you weren't scared or embarrassed to meet him right in the middle.
Until he was mere inches from you.
You swallowed.
He glanced down at your lips.
And you felt the moment melt into more. Into less, in a way. You felt the heavy silence that you hadn't noticed before. You felt the heat, from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. You felt the lump in your throat, the rush of blood in your ears, the tingle in your hands, willing you to reach for him.
His fingertips brushed along your waist, a short moment of hesitation (Was it hesitation? Was it anticipation? Was it reassurance, hope, suspense?) and then-
His hand closed around your waist. You choked back a gasp.
Tentatively, because your mind was silent, entirely and wholly quiet for once in your life, as though your body, your soul knew something it didn't, you reached out, water dripping, dripping, dripping down from your hand as you let it dangle in the air, an inch maybe from his skin, not sure where to put it.
Your heartbeat picked up.
Then your fingertip grazed his skin, so soft, so light that you could barely feel it, could barely feel anything but wet, wet water. Then another. Then
"Dinner's ready in five!"
You snapped back to reality so hard you flinched and pulled back, away from Bradley as quickly as humanly possible.
Jake had called from inside, hadn't even bothered to take a single step out into the cold and for once, you were glad that he was such an ass. If he had come outside- God, if he'd seen that- Oh sweet Jesus.
You couldn't even look at Bradley as you stumbled onto your feet, as you straightened up and almost slipped on the edge of the tub in your attempt to flee.
"Careful!", Bradley called out, hands reaching up to grab and steady you, but you made some sort of high-pitched sound that sounded nowhere close to human and wriggled away before he could touch you in the slightest, one foot already on the cold (Cold! So incredibly fucking cold!) floor of the patio.
"I'm fine, i'm fine!", you repeated, snatching your towel as you sprinted away, away from the tub and away from Bradley and away from temptation, into the house and into the pleasant warmth, wrapping the towel around your body and taking two stairs at a time to reach your room before anyone (especially anyone called Bradley) could have the slightest chance of intercepting you.
You didn't know what had just happened.
But what you did know was that this was stupid - that you were stupid, that oh dear lord yes, you were stupid! Bradley was a friend, a platonic friend - not even that, a colleague, a man you had to trust with your life to protect you in multi-million-dollar air planes! Bradley was not a man you could or would snog. Especially not in your goddamn uncle's hot tub with the rest of your colleagues in the next fucking room!
Yes, you had no clue what had just happened, but you knew very, very well that it could never happen again. And that whatever it was, you had to forget it had ever happened right this second.
But as always, things were easier said than done.
#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#top gun#top gun x reader#rooster bradshaw#top gun rooster
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hey heyy!! can you make a jake sully x daughter!reader based off this audio:
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8fkkodM/
can be anything you want just it like has to include those lines.
thata all, thank you!! love your work btw xx
Maite.
Jake sully x platonic!daughter!reader
word count: 2k
contains: death, ANGST, daddy issues, specifically MY daddy issues don't come for me, self hatred/low self esteem, hurt/comfort, why am I tagging like an ao3 author, eventual fluff
Ok ngl i thought it was gonna be a cute audio like beautiful boy
imagine my surprise when it's from fucking hereditary...
anyway, loved writing this, fueled my angsty little heart <3
uuuuuhhh not proofread, wrote this at like 2 am and during my lunchbreak. mmmmmm yeah i'm fighting melatonin rn so im just gonna stop typing
From an early age it was obvious you and Neteyam were complete opposites. He was always more thoughtful, while you were impulsive and reckless. You’d run around hand in hand exploring the forest together, he’d fuss over you staying on the path and you’d just smile an follow the lizards and bugs you saw.
Neteyam was much more of a warrior than you, while he was learning to shoot an arrow, you were off with Mo’at and Ninat learning the more domestic parts of your clan. You’d weave beads and leaves together and they honestly never came out great, but your family, especially Neteyam, would praise you and cherish your work.
Despite being Neteyam’s twin, you and Lo’ak were much more alike, sharing 4 fingers and a knack for causing trouble. So by the time Lo’ak was old enough to be unsupervised, you were abandoning your classes in favor of running off with your younger brother.
Neteyam would worry to no end, scolding you and Lo’ak but pulling you aside for a much softer approach only moments later. “tsmuke please, I do not want you getting hurt” he’d plead, holding your hands. Eventually, he started following you around, making sure you stayed out of trouble and were safe.
Despite this, you still ended up straight in the face of danger countless times. It irritated your father to no end how often you and your brother ended up in trouble, whether it be hanging off the Ayram alusìng because you disturbed the Ikrans or getting chased by an 'angtsìk. Lo’ak and Neteyam would get scolded, but you? You'd just get ignored.
At first it was nice not getting yelled at, but it didn’t take long for it to become frustrating. He’d scold your brothers and send them off to the hammock, then he’d spare you a glance, like he couldn’t bear to look at you, and walk away.
You started trying to take the blame for your brothers, cutting into his lecture, insisting it wasn’t their fault but yours. He’d just give you a look and nod for you to leave, brushing you off, disregarding your words. The way he stared at you and sometimes didn’t talk to you for days revealing the fact that he was always angry with you the most.
No matter how angry you were, or how much trouble you were in, all your father would do is give you that goddamn look and ignore you. Neytiri says it’s because he sees himself in you but the same goes for Lo’ak and he doesn’t hesitate to rip into him, but when you point this out, Neytiri just shrugs and says you’re his first daughter, it’s different.
You see how he treats Kiri and Tuk, like they’re delicate angels he needs to protect, emotionally and physically. You don’t like being babied or waited on hand and foot, but sometimes you wish you were, watching your father care for and have deep conversations with all your sibling's causing resentment.
Resentment to yourself, because in truth, you are like him. All your life people have been saying how similar you and Lo’ak are to your father, and the older you get, the more you see it. You were angry at your father, upset at his hesitance to scold and hug you, but soon that turned into anger for yourself.
Neteyam’s a great warrior, Kiri has an exceptional connection to Eywa, Lo’ak’s charisma and skill with a bow, and Tuk the baby. They all had reasons to stand out, steal your parents' attention, but you simply seemed to just... be there.
You were reckless with nothing to make up for it. You started to tell yourself it’s no wonder dad can’t look at you, he can’t scold you, he doesn’t know how to treat you. How to love you
Leaving the clan was hard, but you understood, your family was in danger, and you’d do anything to keep them safe, you just wish the transition was easier. You felt like you stood out like a sore thumb, you weren’t particularly good at the ways of the Metkayina, and your temper landed you in many fights with not only the boys picking on your family, but your father.
At first, he could pin it on Lo’ak and Neteyam, but when they became friends with the boys, adjusting well and thriving, he had no choice but to finally confront you.
Why couldn’t you just be like Neteyam? That’s all he could say. It’s not what he said exactly, but that’s all you got from the conversation. It was painful watching him struggle to speak to you, eventually you just stood up and stormed out.
All you want is for him to show something to you, something other than the bare minimum necessary for him to still call himself your father. All you wanted was to prove yourself, but you have no idea how to when you don’t even know why he’s disappointed.
Your heart is pounding in your ears, drowning out any other sound as you pull your brothers arm over your shoulder, securing him against your back. You glance back to see Lo’ak holding onto Spider as he and Tsireya adjust their grip to tightly hold onto the Ilu saddle.
“Go!” Lo’ak yells, and you move forward, Surging through the water, all you can think about is your brother, the way he lays limp against you. You feel like you are going fast enough, the water and weight of your heart slowing you down.
As you approach a rock, you see your father running to your aid. “He’s been shot!” you call out, watching as your fathers face twists into fear. Lo’ak and spider pull him off your back, Jake helps guide him out of the water and onto the rock. As they set him down, you scramble to sit, placing his head on your thighs, hands caressing his face.
You’re hyperventilating, choking back sobs as tears fall down your panicked face. Your brothers eyes dart around fearfully, overwhelmed and scared. You don’t look up as your mother runs over, crying out as she spots your brothers state.
He brings a hand up to yours resting on his cheek, he briefly meets your eyes before looking to your parents. “Dad, I want to go home” He stutters. Your father nods, choking out reassurance. Neteyam’s eyes darted around before landing on your father. “Dad I-“ his words falter as you watch the light in his eyes fade.
You watch as his chest stops expanding, his body going limp. You couldn’t stop the tears that fell from your eyes as your mother started to cry, screaming and shaking Neteyam’s shoulders. Your body wracks with sobs as you hunch over, pulling Neteyam closer to you. You stare at his as his head lays in the crook of your arm, hand still resting on his cheek.
The white noise that’s fills your senses blocks out any other sound. You can vaguely make out the conversation your parents are having, your sister are still stuck on the ship. Jake orders your and Lo’ak go stay with Neteyam as Neytiri mounts her Ikran. You lower Neteyam to the ground as Lo’ak protests..
“Dad I want to go with you” Lo’ak murmurs, on the verge of tears. He stares at your brother for a moment before muttering “you’ve done enough”
You can almost hear the crack of Lo’ak’s heart breaking, you step forward, tears still streaming down your face. “Dad please I can do this” Your voice is breathless and desperate, shaking with the hiccups of your sobs.
He holds his hand out for your to stop “Y/n.” your blood freezes at how cold his voice it. “Don’t make this any worse” He states, punching a hole right through your heart. You start to sob as he turns to follow Spider, intense sobs wracking through your body.
Lo’ak turns to Tsireya, telling her to stay before running off after the ship. Tsireya holds you as you fall to your knees, crying and reaching out to hold your brother again.
You hold onto your brother, you just hold him close. You can’t help but feel that it’s all your fault, you’re the one who ran off with Lo’ak to see Payakan, you insisted on going back to saving Spider. You were the one who hesitated to jump into the exit, Neteyam rushing out in the line of fire, pulling you along to get you to safety.
You think back to how you’re father would scold you for bringing Neteyam along into your dangerous adventures, how your brother was always right about things going wrong, but the one to bear the burden of it.
All you can do is hold him.
You whisper to him, you tell him stories of your childhood together. “I remember how we used to fly together, you hated how reckless I was in the mountains but you still stayed with me, I cannot remember a moment you weren’t by my side when I needed you” you choke out, your voice cracking and going hoarse.
You don’t know how long you sat there holding your brother, but as the eclipse passed you heard the sloshing in the water. You don’t look up but you here Tuk running over, she sits next to your brother, she grabs his hand and places it on her cheek, loud cries escaping her lips. Slowly you lay Neteyam down, your mother taking your place when you stand up.
You stumble backwards, holding your hands to your chest. You look down, trying to regulate your breathing. “Y/n” You dad whispers, placing a hand on your shoulder. You raise your head and look to him, a pained look on his face.
He stays silent, your head lowers. There was never silence between you, only when he was disappointed in you. “I’m sorry sir” You whisper.
He reaches out to you but your wrap your arms around yourself, tears falling down your face again. You glance back up to him and you fall, you can’t help but cry out to him. “Dad, I should be dead” You choke out “I really should be”
He steps forward “No” he replied breathlessly, he places a hand on your arm but your body wracks with the incoming sobs. “He can do thing, he can hunt a-and he can fight, and I just do nothing” your legs feel like jello, you fall to your knees, Jake dropping to his knee to face you. “I can’t do anything”
You hear him protesting, trying to comfort you but all you can do is shake your head. “I’m nothing i’m nothing” you repeat like a broken record, loosing your voice as you cry. He pulls you into his arms, “Y/n no don’t say that” he whispers in your ear, tightening his hold on you.
“I did this I DID THIS” you babble, he shakes his head, placing his hand on the back of your head. “babygirl this is not your fault” he fully sits down, pulling you into his lap. You bury your head into his chest, shaking your head as you cry. “You always told me to think, to listen to him and stay out of trouble” your voice croaked, sore from the hiccups and crying. “but I couldn’t and now he’s-“ you’re interrupted by a wail that rips from your throat.
You can feel his hold on you tightening, hear the sharp breaths he takes to keep his composure. “ Listen to me baby girl” his voice is impossible quiet, but strong “this is not your fault” he places a kiss on your cheek, keeping his face pressed against yours.
You pull back, looking at him in the eyes, he places his hand on your cheek “I see you, daughter.” His words are like a wrecking ball, anything but soft and breaking down your walls all at once. In an instant, your arms are wrapped around him and your crying into his neck, gently, he wraps his arms around you, cradling you like you’re a baby again.
“Babygirl, I love you” he whispers. You know the words have great meaning, connecting him back to his human origins. You balance your breathing; tears starting to slow.
You pull your head back to look at him, he gently places a kiss on your forehead. You lay your head back on his chest, your eyes widened when you noticed his knife sash. Wrapped around the band and onto the base was a cord you weaved, the first one you ever presented to your family. It’s messy, barely what you meant it to be, but he has it tightly wrapped around his satchel, right where it crosses his heart.
He places his hand on your cheek “I’m sorry if I haven't shown it enough, but I love you so much”
#avatar: the way of water#avatar#avatar twow#jake sully#protective jake sully#sully reader#jake sully tries to be a good dad#he fails ngl#daddy issues#sully family#angst
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Vigilance (Chapter 18)
Word count: 23.5k
Pairings: I'll just let you see for yourself...
Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, smoking, language, fluff, angst, smut, talk of violence and abusive situations, violence, weapons, blood.
This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.
JAKE POV
You swallowed nervously as your thumb smoothed over her skin in an attempt to calm her racing heart. Your own heart was hammering in your chest as you sat with her on the porch steps as the words left her lips.
‘Jake, I think we need to talk…’
Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes flicked to hers. Panic sweeping through every nerve in your body.
She pulled her hand from yours and ran it over her face with a sigh. She rested her head in her palm as she looked at you, “I’m supposed to be mad at you. Furious with you. I mean, I am…but…” she pauses, shaking her head.
You release the breath you were holding, “But…”
“But I thought…I was afraid he was going to…God I don’t even want to say it!” she says.
You place your hand on her leg, still blood covered, as you look into her eyes, “Don’t afford him that kind of power over your mind. I’m not going anywhere. Not that easily, anyways.” you say with a soft smile.
“If you hadn’t come…” she starts.
“I always will. I couldn’t let you go. I promised you I would never let you go again. I make good on my promises.” you state.
It’s quiet for a moment before she speaks again. “What about when you promised no more secrets? When we promised we would tell each other everything? What about that Jake?” she snaps.
Just as you opened your mouth to answer, the sound of a car door shutting pulled you both from the conversation bubbling up between the two of you.
Sam and Elle rushed to the porch, in a flurry of hands and worry. “Oh my god, Sam I was right!” Elle exclaimed, sitting down next to Y/N on the porch.
“What the fuck is happening? Why is she bleeding? The ambulance? The police?” Sam asks in succession.
You point to the corner of the sidewalk where a police officer is questioning Andy.
“No fucking way?!” Sam yells. “Elle talked to Y/N on the phone, said you two had a huge fight and when she hung up with her she had a bad feeling and wanted to come check on her. Guess the bad feeling was right.”
“If I hadn’t come when I did…” you start.
“Oh fuck, your neck?” he says reaching out towards you.
“He had me pinned. I swore that was it, vision started going and everything.” you explain, running your hand over your chin.
“Jake…” he says.
“Rather it be me, than her.” you say, as he looks over to her and Elle talking on the porch steps.
“Are you two…okay?” he whispers.
“I–I don’t know, everything happened so fast. We fought at the house and she left. Fucking threw my house key and left. I couldn’t let her leave me again. Wouldn’t. So I came here and Andy had her fucking zip tied and slashed her leg open. He started attacking me… She threw a chair on him to get him off of me and he passed out. The police came and she said we ‘needed to talk’. That was happening then you showed up.” you explain.
“Fuck, man…” he says.
“She is pissed and honestly I don’t blame her. I would be mad too. I really thought we were doing the right thing. I really did. What a fuck up that was. She is mad. At me. At all of us really. I don’t know what is going to happen. I just know I refuse to lose her over this.” you say.
“That’s not your choice to make, Jake.” he says.
Just as you start to reply, the paramedic approaches the two of you, ushering you away from Sam so that he can take you over to the ambulance to check you out.
“Can you tell me what happened sir? So I can check you out properly?” he asks.
“Yeah, umm…we just fought physically for a few minutes before he pinned me against a wall and choked me. I feel fine, really. I’m more worried about her–” you stammer out.
“Yes, and that is fine sir, I just need to make sure you are okay.” he says, checking your vitals.
“I’m having my partner check her out right now.” he says reassuringly.
After a few minutes, you are given the all clear and instructions to head to the hospital if you start to show any of the symptoms he listed. Stepping out of the back of the ambulance you search your surroundings to find her, seeing her still sitting in the back of an ambulance as they clean up her cut.
You swallow harshly as you realize what could have happened today, and how stupid you feel for not telling her about him. Maybe if she would have known this never would have happened.
You look over to the police officers as they continue to talk to a now handcuffed Andy. His eyes are trained on Y/N in the back of the ambulance and you feel your blood begin to boil. You fist clenches into a tight ball as you start to walk towards them, but you’re quickly stopped by Sam's arm.
“Hey. There is nothing you can do about it. Just let them deal with it. He is going to jail, Jake. He’s done. He can’t get to her again.” he says.
“He’s fucking watching her. Watching her get stitched up from the cut he made! Fucking bastard.” you spit.
You cut your eyes back to him as he continues to stare at her, smiling and laughing as she glances over towards him. What a fucking creep.
“Is everything okay with you and Y/N now? She sounded pretty torn up on the phone.” Elle asks.
“Ahh… I really don't know. She is mad at me, as she should be. But I don’t know where we stand right now. I am just going to wait and see. I just keep thinking about what would have happened if I didn’t get here when I did. If I didn’t chase after her. I…I don't know what would have happened. He could have hurt her even worse…I can’t leave her alone after this. I won't.”
“Well…if she doesn't want to go home with you, and you don't want her to be alone, she can come stay with us for a while?” she offers.
“I really hope she will come home. I…just don’t know how to fix this.” you admit.
“Just give her time. I’m sure she will understand eventually. It's just hard for her to process right now. This is a huge shock.” she says.
“Thank you. Elle, for the offer. I really appreciate it. Maybe you can tell her that, too? So that she doesn’t think I am being overbearing or whatever…” you ask.
“Of course I will.” she says, standing to walk over towards her.
“Fuck Sam…that girl is an angel. You’ve got to hold on to her.” you say.
“I fully intend to.” he laughs.
Your laughter is interrupted by the sound of the police car door shutting in the distance, and the officer making his way towards you.
You turn to face him, and place your hands in your pockets, feeling the ache in your muscles start to set in.
“Alright sir, we are going to take him into booking unless there is anything else you need from us. We talked to her already…” he says pointing to Y/N, “...and she is pressing charges against him. He will be in there for quite a while after this, and the break in this morning.” he says.
“No, sir. As long as he's going to be put away, I am all set.” you say.
“Come down to the station if you need anything else.” he says, tipping his head and walking back to his car.
You turn back to Sam, “How long you think he’ll be in there?” you ask.
“Who knows, probably a while like he said. I know Josh told the office to do their worst so if they found him…” he trails off.
“Good. Fucker…I hope he rots in there.” you scoff.
After a few minutes all of the police cars and ambulances made their way out of the parking lot leaving the four of you alone. You watch as Elle and Y/N make their way over to you and Sam with their heads hung low.
As the distance closes, Y/N looks up towards you, eyes blank and lifeless as she meets your side. “Jake…Can we go home?” she asks, her voice almost a whisper.
You turn to face her, grabbing her hand in yours as you look over to Elle then back to her, “Yeah baby, we can go home.” you answer, leading her to your car.
You open the door, helping her into the seat before shutting it behind her. You run your hand over your face as you walk to the other side of the car before climbing in next to her. “Do you have everything you need? Do you want me to go grab you anything from inside?” you ask, spinning the key in the ignition and turning on the heat.
Her eyes, filled with tears look to yours, “I think…I just… can’t go in there right now. I don't know where my purse is…He took my phone and threw it… I don’t know…” she trails off, tears falling.
“Okay, stay here. I will go get it. Okay?” you ask.
She nods her head and you step out of the car, heading back into her apartment. After a quick search you find her phone on the kitchen floor, and her purse and keys strewn across her living room.
You do a quick sweep of the small apartment, spotting your flannel laying on her desk chair, and grabbing it as you make your way out the door, locking it behind you.
Returning to the car you find her staring blankly out the window, deep in her thoughts.
You hand her her purse and try to wrap the flannel around her to warm her up, but still she is silent. You place your hand over her leg to try to comfort her, but she moves away, letting your hand fall to the leather seat. Pain sweeps through you quickly as you pull your hand back to the gearshift.
“I love you…” you offer nervously.
It’s silent for a moment, before a barely there “I know…” slips from her lips cracking your nearly shattered heart in two.
—
Unlocking the front door, you let it swing open and you usher her inside before shutting it slowly behind you and twisting the lock. She lets her purse fall to the table by the door before heading into the kitchen. You follow behind hesitantly, still unsure of how she's feeling, and shocked that she even wanted to come home with you in the first place.
You step through the doorway as you watch her finish a glass of water before placing it in the sink.
“I’m gonna go take a shower…” she says, eyes not meeting yours.
“Okay do you nee–” you start as her eyes meet yours.
“No. I just need a little bit of space.” she says.
“Okay. I’ll…be in the study…if you need anything.” you say quietly, watching her walk down the hallway.
Settling yourself in your favorite leather chair you strum absentmindedly on your guitar as you let your mind process the events of the day.
You hear the water turn on but it sounds far away. You turn your head to get a better listen, and decipher it coming from the guest room, not yours.
Why is she in the guest room?
You try to busy yourself, taking your mind off of her and attempting to give her the space she needs, but the unresolved issue feels suffocating. You channel your feelings into the guitar strings and let your mind fully wander into another world.
After a while you hear her coming down the hallway and you return to the present. You watch as she walks past the study and into your bedroom, shutting the door behind her, effectively shutting you out again.
Fuck.
Your heart twists as you try to figure out how you’re going to fix things, the sheer thought of losing her nearly crippling you. But you remind yourself that she's here. She wanted to come home with you, and that is enough for now.
The door opens and you flick your eyes up to catch sight of her, wet hair and bare legs as she stands in your t-shirt. You let your eyes meet hers and you hold your breath to see if she wants to talk. You can see the gears spinning in her head but she’s holding back. She starts to walk, but pauses, looking over to you. She blinks slowly and bites her lips together before continuing to walk back to the guest room and shutting the door softly.
You place your guitar back in the stand and stand up running your hands through your hair as you pace around the room. What the fuck do you do?
You pull your phone from your pocket and see two missed calls from Josh, and decide there’s no better time than now. You slip out the front door and position yourself on the old wooden chair on the porch, hitting his contact and letting the line ring.
“Hello?” he answers.
“Hey…” you respond somberly.
“What’s up?” he asks, “You okay?”
“Where you at?” you ask.
“I was on my way to Kroger, why? Do you… need me for something?” he asks.
“He did it.” you say.
“He did what? Who?” he asks.
“Andy. He attacked her. This morning. She found out it was him at the office. Found out we knew and didn’t tell her. We got into a huge fight. She left and he was at her apartment waiting for her to show up. He fucking zip tied her hands together Josh.” you said.
“What the fuck?” he asks. “How did you find out?”
“I left as soon as she did. I was not losing her over this. I got to her apartment and the door was unlocked and I heard her yelling. I knew something was wrong. I called 911 and went inside. He cut her leg open…I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t show up. He and I fought for a few minutes. He pinned me against the wall, choking me. I passed out for a second. She hit him over the head with a chair and then the police showed up.” you finished.
“Christ, so he’s in jail now right?” he asked.
“Yeah, throwing the book at him.” you reply.
“Good. Fucking lunatic.” he says. “And how is Y/N?”
“I don’t know, she said we needed to talk, and then Sam and Elle showed up and we didn’t ever talk. I didn’t know if she was going to come home with me, but after she got stitched up she asked to go home so we did. Now she is icing me out and won't say much or even look at me. She’s shut herself away in the guest room. I know she is pissed off at me. I get it. I just… I don’t know what to do.” you confess.
“Just give her time. Today was probably pretty traumatic, finding out that he has been following her for months then being attacked by him hours later. Imagine that for a second Jake.” he says.
You nod your head as you stare out at the passing cars, “Yeah. Yeah I know. You’re right, I just feel like shit and I hate that she won’t talk to me about it. I just want to help.” you say.
“If she won’t talk to you, just show her you’re sorry. All you can do is wait for her to understand and accept it.” he says.
“I’m just afraid to lose her.” you admit.
“She loves you. She’s not going anywhere Jake. I don’t think she would have called it ‘home’ and went with you if she was going to leave you. She probably just needs a little time and rest and she will come around. Just give that to her. Love her in other ways.” he says.
“Look, I just pulled into Kroger so I’m gonna run, but if you need me just call okay?” he says.
“Yeah. Thanks. Talk later.” you say, hitting the red button.
Love her in other ways.
You scroll through your phone for a few minutes, listening to the birds call to each other from the barren trees, thinking of what you could even say that would possibly help your situation.
After a while you return to the house, hearing nothing but deafening silence fill the air. Your feet carry you to the kitchen where you raid the pantry looking for any ingredients you have and what you could do with them.
Compiling everything in your arms you spend the next thirty minutes chopping and prepping everything for soup. Tossing everything into the pot you set it to low and let it cook over the next few hours. It was cold today, a little gloomy and windy. The rain had begun to tap at the windows. The perfect day for a hot meal in front of the fireplace.
You lit the fireplace and turned on a movie, watching the first hour of it as the smell of the soup filtered in from the kitchen. As you passed the guest room on your way to the kitchen you noticed the light on, and wondered what she was doing in there.
Taking the lid off of the pot your senses were filled with the scent of the lemon orzo soup. You grabbed two bowls from the shelf and laddled the hot contents into the gray porcelain. Gathering all of your courage you walked to the guest room door and took a deep breath before knocking.
You stood for a minute or two waiting to see if she would open the door or say anything, and just as you turned to walk away the door opened and she peeked her head out.
You whipped your head around to take in the sight of her. She had clearly been crying and tried to sleep it off. “Hey…Um, I made dinner. I made that soup you like…if you want any. You don’t have to eat with me now if you don’t want to…I just thought you might be hungry…I can bring it in here if you want or…” you stammer.
Her eyes meet yours, a quiet ‘okay’ leaving her lips.
You turn back to the kitchen to grab her bowl and a spoon and make your way back to the guest room, but as you turn around she’s standing at the end of the island leaning against the countertop.
“Oh, uh… where do you want it?” you ask.
“Where are you going to eat?” she asks.
“I–I was watching a movie…I was probably just going to take it in there.” you admit nervously.
“That’s fine…” she says quietly.
“Oh! Okay yeah, uh… we don’t have to watch that, we can watch something else if you want.” you say walking towards the study.
You set her bowl on the coffee table and gesture for her to sit wherever she wants while you return to the kitchen to grab your own. You let out a deep breath and grab your bowl joining her on the couch.
“We can watch something else, I started this a while ago.” you say.
“It’s okay. You can finish it.” she says quietly.
You look at her long and hard before pressing play and eating your soup.
You both sit quietly watching the remainder of the movie, both of you full and growing more tired by the second. When the movie finishes you grab the bowls from the coffee table and take them to the kitchen, putting the leftovers in the fridge and loading the dishwasher.
When you return to the couch you see that she’s gone, locked away in the guest room once again, just when you thought you were making progress. You rub your hands over your face and turn off the tv before shutting the curtains and relocking the front door.
You drag yourself into the bathroom, stripping your clothes off and starting the shower. You brush your teeth and stare at yourself in the mirror, finding her toothbrush gone from its normal place. A pang shoots through your chest as you look around realizing that quite a few of her things are missing from the bathroom.
You sigh as you step into the shower, trying to wash away the shitty day and crawl into bed. But as you are rinsing the soap from your body it hits you. If she won't listen to you or talk to you, what if she read it instead?
You quickly turn off the water, drying yourself with a towel and pulling a pair of boxers from the closet. You pull on a pair of sweats and hang your towel before making your way upstairs to your studio. Flipping through the pages in the notebook on the desk you find a blank page and select a black pen.
You take a seat at the chair and begin to pour your feelings onto the page, hoping that your rambling will have some sense of coherence. After you feel you have sufficiently said everything you feel like you need to say, you sign your name and fold the paper into a square.
You walk quietly down the stairs and to the guest room. You knock twice and as you hear her feet hit the floor you place the note under the door. You watch as her shadow picks up the note and walks away. You swallow heavily before returning to your room, and crawling into your bed. You can't help the sinking feeling in your chest as your hand slides across the empty side of the bed, only cold sheets under your fingertips.
Will she be warm enough in there? Are there enough blankets?
In the darkness of the room you let your mind wander. Why did she want to come home with you if she didn’t want to talk to you? Why did she want to eat with you, only to shut you out again?
Your phone buzzes on your nightstand and you roll over to grab it.
LD
10:48pm: I love you too
Your heart swells at the message and a smile spreads across your face. Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe Josh was right and she just needed some time alone.
Placing your phone back on the nightstand you roll back over and hug a pillow to your chest, hoping that soon it would be her again.
—
Your eyes shoot open, the sound of a scream filling the house. You rip the blankets off of you and look around the dark room seeing nothing. You rush straight out into the hallway hearing her scream again and as you reach the guest room the sound of her voice becomes clearer and you hear thrashing around inside.
Reaching for the handle you find the door locked and curse to yourself. You make a dash for the pantry, grabbing the skeleton key from the hook, and running back to the locked door.
It opens with no fight and you see Y/N in the bed moving around as she fights off whatever is happening in her dream. Suddenly she sits straight up and looks at you, trying to figure out who you are.
“It’s me, baby. It’s okay.” you say softly holding your hands out.
She breathes heavily as she comes to full consciousness, still completely hysterical.
“Shh…shh…” you soothe, “It was just a dream. You’re okay. You’re safe. I’m here.” you say.
She drops her head into her hands as she begins to sob, and you instinctively rush to her side.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up…” she cries.
You wrap your arms around her, pulling her into your chest as she continues to cry. “How long has it been?” you ask.
“I… don’t know… a couple of months I think…” she answers through tears.
“What happened?” you ask.
“It…was just today… the same thing, but I was trying to help you…I couldn’t get to you…he…” she sobs, ripping your heart into a million pieces.
“But you did. You did get to me. And I’m okay, see? I’m here, and you’re here and we are okay.” you encourage.
She nods against you and you release her to let her wipe her tears. She sniffles, “But…what if I didn’t…and he…”
“No. Don’t think like that. Don’t give him that power. I’m here. I am not going anywhere.” you say.
She sniffles again and lays back down, “Okay. I’m really sorry I woke you.”
“Never be sorry. I missed you today.” you say, rubbing your hand up her leg.
“Thank you… for the soup…” she says, quietly.
“Of course. Made it just for you. Love you so much, you know…” you say.
“I know.” she says, leaving it there.
“Think you’ll be okay?” you ask.
“Yeah. Thanks for checking on me.” she says.
You stand up from the bed, and pull the blankets up over her, tucking her in. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight…” she replies, and with that you are slipping out the door.
You made your way back to your bed, the sheets once again cold as you slid into them, a sigh leaving your lips as you let your head sink into your pillow. You hate hearing her scream like that. Knowing there is nothing you can do to save her from her own mind. It took everything in you to leave her in that bedroom, but you are trying to give her the space she needs. Josh’s words rolling around in your mind. The sound of the train in the distance lulls you back to sleep, as your eyes shut once again.
A pair of cold hands wakes you from your slumber, wrapping around your chest. You open your eyes to find her curling into your side, her legs tangling with yours beneath the sheets as she rests her head on your chest.
“Everything okay?” you whisper, voice rough and raspy.
“I can’t sleep without you anymore.” she replies, running her fingers over your face.
Wrapping your arms around her and pulling her closer you whisper into her ear, “You never have to.”
—
When the morning light crept in you found yourself alone in your bed, only the cold place she once laid to remind you she was ever there. You dropped your arm over your eyes and let out a sigh as you pulled yourself from the warmth of the sheets.
You dragged yourself into the kitchen, one foot after another finding the coffee pot still mostly full and still warm. You never even heard her leave the bedroom this morning, falling into a deep sleep after she joined you sometime in the early hours.
You poured yourself a mug and made your way upstairs passing the shut door of the guest room on your way. How foolish of you to assume she might still be in your bed this morning. After everything you’d done, this is exactly what you deserved. Stepping off the final step you walked into the loft and settled on the old leather couch, scrolling through your phone clicking through the hundreds of notifications waiting for you, of course none of importance.
Only a few texts sat in your inbox. One from Sam, one from Danny and three from Josh. You didn't open them though, no you found yourself opening her thread and rereading her last message of ‘I love you too’ wondering when you would ever hear those words leave her mouth again.
Closing out the message you checked the time and saw you had roughly twenty minutes before you needed to leave, and make your way back downstairs for a quick shower.
After a shower and shave you dressed yourself for the cold day, pulling on your boots and the corduroy jacket she bought you for Christmas that was quickly becoming your favorite. You ran your fingers through your hair as you stepped out of the bedroom, checking the hallway to find the guest room door still shut. You grabbed your keys from the dish and just as you went to leave you paused, turning back and walking to her door. A few soft knocks and a few seconds later you saw the door open slightly, and you pressed it open further.
“Hey, I’m going over to the office. I’ll probably be there most of the day. I don’t want you to feel like you have to lock yourself away in here. Whatever you want…it’s yours, okay?” you say.
Her eyes meet yours as she nods, twisting her hands together.
“Okay, I’ll…see you later… hopefully.” you say, turning to walk out of the room.
You take one more look over your shoulder, meeting her eyes.
“I love you…” you spoke, and with that, you’re slipping out the front door.
—
Things at the office were tense, no one really wanting to talk about what happened the day prior. The window still boarded up from the break in, and the marks on your neck still fresh. Thankfully the day was completely booked full of back to back interviews and a lunch with the label executives to talk about the new members joining the team.
You still felt a pang in your chest knowing it was partly your fault that new members had to be added in the first place. How would they ever live up to Y/N? Would she still want to come work with you guys?
Josh arrived and pulled you off the couch and into the meeting room insisting you do most of the talking on the first radio segment. You begrudgingly agreed, throwing yourself into your work to distract your mind from the girl sitting alone and sad in your house. It had only been a day of silence and you were already missing her terribly.
The meeting with the executives was long and monotonous, and you let Josh call the shots, citing having no interest in Y/N’s replacement. When the end of the meeting drew near you pulled your phone from your pocket and saw a text from her nearly causing your heart to stop briefly.
LD
3:24pm: Can you drop me off at my apartment later?
You felt your heart plummet into your stomach. She wants to leave?
Biting the inside of your lip you typed out the response that went against every fiber of your being.
You
3:38pm: Sure, I’ll be back soon.
You push away from the table and excuse yourself to the bathroom, silently cursing yourself the entire way. You step inside and stand at the sink, staring at yourself and wondering how you managed to fuck up this badly.
A few seconds later Josh steps in, looking at you and knowing exactly what’s wrong without even having to ask.
He pats your back as he makes his way to a urinal.
“She wants me to take her back to her apartment. I fucked up. I lost her.” you say, almost in disbelief.
“No… you didn’t. She loves you Jake. She’s just out of sorts.” he replies.
“She won't talk to me. Well, not really anyways. She had a fucking nightmare last night, scared the shit out of me. She is sleeping in the guest room, or was, she came and got in bed with me at like 3am, but was gone by morning. I don’t know what to do… Now this?” you question.
“I told you. Give her time. This is just her way of processing. She gave up everything for you Jake. She’s not going to leave you now.” he says, washing his hands.
“I hope you’re fucking right, because right now everything is just…shit.” you reply pushing away from the sink.
“Go home. Take her home. One day at a time brother.” he says walking towards the door.
“My home is her home…” you whisper to yourself, watching as he slips through the door.
—
Spinning your key in the lock you step into the house to find it eerily quiet. A place normally filled with the sound of a record spinning now suddenly silent.
You place your keys in the dish and kick off your boots rounding the corners for any sight of her. You make your way into the kitchen, and pass the empty guest room, finding her nowhere in sight. Pulling a corona from the fridge you pop the cap and toss it in the trash. Leaning against the counter you take a pull from the bottle and let out a relieving sigh. Talking all day left you desperate for a beer.
You hear footsteps upstairs and let a smile part your lips. She is here. You push off the counter and make your way to the staircase, taking the steps one by one until you find her, milling around in the loft.
You pause in the doorway, watching her before she notices you’re there. She has her airpods in, and is listening to something, swaying her hips as she folds laundry.
You laugh quietly, taking in the scene before you. As she turns around she catches sight of you, quickly jumping backwards and pulling out one of her earbuds.
“Oh my god you scared me!” she says.
“Sorry, I thought you heard me come home. Didn’t mean to scare you, love.” you reply with an extended arm.
She looks around frantically, gathering everything up as quickly as she can. “Can you take me back to my apartment?” she asks.
You let out a sigh and tap your heel to the floor as you answer, “Yeah. Sure. Just let me grab my keys.” you say defeatedly before making your way back downstairs.
You finish your beer and set the empty bottle on the table by the door, sliding your boots back on and grabbing your keys. A few minutes later you see her coming down the stairs with an arm full of clothes, scurrying off the the guest room and reemerging with her purse.
“Ready?” you ask.
She nods and slips out the front door that you’ve opened for her. You take one last look behind you, wondering if this would be the last time you’d see her in your home.
—
As you approached her apartment you pulled into the empty parking space out front. Your mind flashes back to yesterday, sprinting up the stairs to win her back only to be met with something far worse than you could have imagined.
As you put the car in park you went to pull the keys from the ignition, and her hand stopped you.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to come in. I’m okay. Thanks though.” she says quickly.
“Baby… come on. Let me walk you up at least. I haven’t seen you all day.” you beg.
“Please don’t do this Jake. Just… let me go inside.” she whines.
“Look I know you’re mad at me okay, but please… Don’t ice me out like this. Can we please just talk…I want to fix this.” you plead.
“I don’t want anything from you.” she says finally, opening the car door.
“Is that why you ended up in my bed last night?” you quip, immediately regretting your words. She shoots you a hurt look and you instantly feel like shit.
“Y/N…” you urge. “Please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry…”
“Bye Jake…” she says, shutting the door.
You slam your fist down onto the steering wheel, watching her unlock her front door and disappear behind it.
—
You aren’t sure how long you sat in front of her apartment. Until the sun went down at least. Now you found yourself driving home to a dark empty house, void of the only thing that ever really made it feel like home to begin with.
You tossed your keys in the bowl and locked the door, heading straight to the bar car filled with options to drown your sorrows. Selecting the bottle with the most to offer you pulled the lid and took a quick nip, letting the fire burn down your throat.
Was that it? Is that how this all ends?
Hours passed as you drank alone in your chair by the fireplace. A place you had once been familiar with. A place you hoped you’d never find yourself again. But now here you sat, long lost friends.
Suddenly feeling suffocated by the heat in your chest you drag yourself out the kitchen door onto the back porch, situating yourself in the black metal chair by the door. The trees are bare giving you an unobstructed view of the sky.
You prop your legs up on the wooden porch railing and take another drag from the now dwindling bottle in your hand. You let your head rest on the back of the chair and stare up at the stars, and even in your drunken haze, you search for it. The one you claimed as your own, for her. You can hear the train begin to rumble the ground beneath you and the steady roar of the wheels on the track. The sounds of the world around you, still not loud enough to drown out the screaming in your mind.
The train had come and gone and your skin had grown cold in the frigid January temperatures. You didn’t care. Anywhere was better than being in that goddamn house without her. The bottle now sat empty on the porch and your eyes had grown heavy, sleep threatening to take you where you sat. Pulling yourself up from the chair you grab your empty bottle and make your way inside.
You lock the doors and shut off all the lights, stripping down to your boxers before drunkenly falling into your bed. Shutting off the light you started to fall asleep immediately, pushing the thought of her leaving to the farthest corner of your mind.
—
You heard the lock spin and the door open, pulling you from your sleep. You sat up and wiped your hand over your face trying to collect yourself before tossing the sheets off of your body. Just as you went to stand you watched the dark figure walk through the bedroom door and walk around the side of the bed.
You could smell the remnants of her morning perfume waft through the air, and felt your body physically relax. She dropped her things to the floor and pulled back the sheets before sliding in next to you.
You laid back down, and opened your arms to her instinctually, not knowing if she even wanted that. Much to your surprise she wrapped herself around you and let out a choked sob.
“You came back…” you whispered.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?” she breathes.
“I… I didn’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.” you confess.
“I just needed a minute. Away from everything. But all I could think about was being right here.” she says.
“That’s because this is where you belong.” you say.
“I know I’m just…I’m so mad Jake…I…” she says, burying her face into your neck.
You wrap your arms around her and pull her close, inhaling the scent of her hair as you find the words you’re looking for.
“I know love. I know you’re mad. You should be. But how about for right now, you just lay here with me, like this. Let me hold you. Let me love you. Forget it all, just for now, and tomorrow you can be mad at me again. You can be mad at me for as many days as you need. Just give me the nights. Let me hold you and give myself hope that we will get through this.” you plead.
You feel a tear slip from her face onto your neck and you pull her in tight, pressing a kiss to her head.
“Can you do that? Can you just give me your nights?” you ask.
You feel her nod against you and a wave of relief washes over you. You run your fingers through her hair until you feel her fall asleep, and as she breathes against your skin, you feel the hope you thought you lost start to grow again.
—
SAM POV
“It’s right down here on the left, just pull over there.” Elle said quietly as you hit your blinker to turn into the tiny lot lined with storage units. “It’s number 6.”
When you’d invited Elle to come back to Nashville with you, you didn’t think about where she kept all of her things; the only thing she brought the first time you saw each other again was a backpack full of necessities. You remembered her pulling into your driveway in her dad’s old beater Bronco, the muffler sounding like it had seen better days. After all this time, after all these months, the only thing she’d ever carried with her was a large suitcase. You didn’t ask, she didn’t seem to care to tell, until now.
You’d chosen to leave your car at home, as hers had a bit more room to pack things up. She reached over from the passenger seat and pulled the keys out of the ignition, selecting a small silver one. The two of you stepped out of the car, and you followed her to her unit. She unlocked the lock and pulled the garage door up into the air, revealing only a few small tote containers, two boxes, a pile of full trash bags, and an old wooden chest.
Your eyes scanned the nearly empty room. “Babe, this…isn’t a whole lot of stuff…is this all you have?” You asked her, trying to walk on eggshells.
“Yeah, this is about it. I’ve gotten rid of most of the other stuff that I didn’t need. Been coming and cleaning it out a little at a time and donating the stuff I didn’t want.” She said as she opened one of the boxes. You suddenly felt sad for her.
“What did you get rid of?” You asked quietly, joining her at the box.
“Ah, old clothes, mostly. A few junky things that I knew I could part with. I kept all my dad’s stuff and our photo albums safe at the house in Georgia. Furniture and whatnot.” Her voice was sunken, playing along as she tried to sound happy, but you knew she wasn’t.
“You didn’t have to get rid of your things, babe. We could have brought them to my house…found something to do with them…” you said, trying to offer her a little solace as she turned and opened the wooden chest.
“It’s okay, Sam. Seriously. Some of those things held bad memories, you know? Lots of strange energy that I didn’t need to hold on to anymore.” She said, fingering through all the old clothing and small handkerchiefs that sat tucked in the slots of the lid of the chest. She pulled an old crocheted blanket out, and pressed it to her nose.
You watched as she took a deep inhale of the fabric, the scent obviously filling her mind with nostalgia. She was so gorgeous, her long wavy ponytail resting gently on her shoulder as her mind wandered.
“My grandma made me this blanket when I was born. They said it took her six months to crochet. It’s tradition, where I’m from. Every baby gets a brand new blanket to take home from the hospital with them. Their very first possession.” She grinned, running her fingers over the white and pink threads.
You couldn’t help the smile that crept to your face as you watched her remember. Elle never talked about her past much, just little stories here and there. You never pressed too hard, knowing some things were sensitive for her.
She began folding the blanket back up and tucking it back into the chest. “She passed away when I was barely three years old, I hardly even got to meet her. But they named me after her, so, I feel like she is still with me a lot.” She smiled genuinely as she tucked the lid closed.
“Said she was really the strong type, you know? Always the one everyone looked to for everything, so smart in so many ways. Resourceful and independent.”
You felt your heart ache. “What was her name?” You asked.
She took a quick breath as her eyes flicked to yours. “Sara Eleanor.”
Your face softened, the name ringing through your brain. “How pretty…” you whispered, taking Elle’s cheek into your hand, brushing your thumb over the tiny residual tear that had stained her skin. “I bet you’re just like her.”
She pressed her cheek into your palm, nodding slightly. “Yeah, maybe. I hope I am. I try to be.” She took a deep breath, shaking the tiny bit of emotions away in a shuffle. “Anyways, let’s get this stuff loaded up.”
You both stood and began to pile the boxes and totes toward the front of the unit. You made sure that the wooden chest stayed closed tightly as you scooted it towards the truck, protecting her special possessions as best as you could.
“Oh, no babe. I’m going to donate that stuff.” She said, catching your hand as you pushed the chest in further.
You paused, looking at her with astonishment. “What? All of the stuff in the chest?” You asked.
“Yeah, it’s time. Plus, I don’t want those old things cluttering up your home…”
You cut her off. “No, no babe. We’re taking it. Are you kidding me? This is coming back with you, you can’t get rid of these things.”
“But they’re not even my things, they’re my moms and my grandmas…” she went on.
“And they aren’t here anymore, which means they’re yours now. This stuff is your history babe, it’s sacred. Your grandmother made this for you. These things make up who you are. Your identity. We can’t get rid of it. It’s coming with us.” You decided, lifting the chest up more and sliding it back against the seats.
You swiped your hands together, removing the dust from your hands that had settled on the top of the boxes.
“Okay,” she breathed silently, folding her arms across her chest. You could tell she felt like she was imposing.
You put your hands on your hips, studying her body language. You glanced at her as she watched you, biting her cheek and suddenly looking uncomfortable. You walked to her and took her in your embrace, resting your chin on the top of her head.
“Listen, I asked you to move in with me. And when I said you, I meant all of you. Your things, your possessions, your old life, I want it to be there with us, ok? You don’t have to hide it.” You pulled away, meeting her eyes and taking her hands in yours. “And if you ever want to go back to the house in Helen and get more, we’ll do that, too. Alright?”
She nodded, a shaky breath filling her lungs. “Okay. Okay. Thank you, Sam.”
“It’s a big step, I know. But I’m here to tackle it with you. I want you here.” You said with sincerity, bringing her in for the tiniest kiss.
“I wanna be here.” She mouthed, giggling through her sadness.
You separated, finding your places and packing things up again. Once you had just about everything stowed away in the Bronco, you glanced to the very back of the unit, seeing something metallic hiding in the shadows that somehow, you’d completely missed.
“What’s that?” You asked, walking back into the darkness.
“Oh, yeah. I was going to ask you about that…” Elle said, following you.
She brought her phone light out, illuminating the space. An old motorbike, probably from the 1980's, sat leaned up against the back wall.
“Oh my god!” You exclaimed, bringing your hands to the handlebars. “It’s a beaut! Where did you get this?”
“It was my dad’s! He rode the hell out of this thing. Even wrecked it a few times. Never wore a damn helmet, either.” Elle responded in a fit of laughter at the memory.
“We’re not getting rid of this. No way in hell. Does it run?” You asked, bending down to inspect it in the dim light.
“Yeah! Last time I checked… will probably need to go through it. I know I changed the oil and gaskets last year. And the headlight. Might need new tires.” She answered.
You gave her an inquisitive glance, completely impressed. “You changed all that?”
She looked at you blankly, “Yeah, why?”
You shook your head and laughed. “No reason, I’m just impressed.”
“Babe, I watched my dad work on this thing for the entirety of my life, I know exactly what it takes to make this baby purr.” She said, squatting down next to you and running her hand over the old leather seat.
“You need to stop talking like that, Eleanor, or I’m going to go shut that garage door and take you against the wall.” You answered with extreme nonchalance.
She laughed, tilting her head back. She brought her mouth close to your ear, resting her hand on your upper thigh. “Well, how about next time I work on it, I wear something that leaves little to the imagination, hmm?” She nipped at your ear lobe.
Your body filled with chills at her confident touch. “Sounds fucking perfect to me, love. How soon can we start?”
——
With the truck packed up and the storage unit keys left in the box, the two of you made your way back to your house. It was a chilly evening, and the emotional toll from Jake and Y/N’s morning yesterday began to roll back into your head. You and Elle stayed silent on the drive, most likely running over the exact same thing in your heads.
“Do you think Andy really would have… killed her?” Elle finally asked, breaking the silence. You shifted the gearshift down as you approached a stoplight, pulling your sunglasses up onto your head and rubbing your eyes.
“I don’t know…” you breathed, truly not knowing the answer. “Jake said he made it there just in time, then Andy jumped on him, next. Did you see his neck? It’s bruised as hell…”
“Yeah, I did. And the cut on her leg is pretty deep, too. She’s lucky it didn’t hit her femoral artery. It was close, Sam. She would have bled out…” Elle said, staring off through the windshield.
That one hit you. She would have had two minutes, tops, if he would have hit just a few centimeters closer. Did he do that on purpose?
It was silent for a few more seconds. A light and misty rain had begun to fall, making the entire scene all the more heavy. “We could have lost them both.” She said again, her voice thick.
You shook the thought. “We could’ve. But we didn’t. They saved each other.” You swallowed hard as the light turned green and you shifted back into gear.
You felt like your brain physically hurt, the trauma they both endured weighing heavy. Especially after the talk you’d had with Y/N, all your feelings out on the table finally. Your brother almost being severely injured and Y/N having to watch…you couldn’t even imagine the pain they’d both been through, especially since they were in the middle of a truly serious fight with each other. Your mind was racing. You felt the need to comfort the both of them, but you knew Y/N was mad at you, too, for lying to her. Lying to Elle. Everything was a mess.
“You need to talk to her, Sam. Maybe not right now, but you’ve got to make that connection before she shuts you out. You guys can’t do that again.” Elle murmured.
She was right. Going so long last time without talking to her was torture, even if it was your own doing.
How do you explain yourself lying to her, when it was Jake’s decision to do so?
You couldn’t throw him under the bus too much, you know that he had good intentions all along, but. You were actively lying to her too. And to Elle.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you he was back, Elle. I can’t voice that enough…” you trailed off, bringing your hand to run over your mustache. “You didn’t deserve to be in the dark. Neither of you. That was such a shit decision. But, we were trying to just…keep the peace, I don’t know.” You truly didn’t know exactly how to explain.
You reached your hand out flat on the console, waiting for her to wrap her fingers with yours. When she did, her fingers intertwined with yours and squeezed hard.
You smiled toward her. “Are you okay? I know that we never really talked about the fact that maybe there could be some unresolved stuff there…from you and Andy, I dunno. He hurt you pretty bad that night, too.”
“I’m fine, Sam. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was more worried for Y/N and Jake that night. Honestly I hardly remember him touching me at all. The adrenaline blinded me, I guess.” She went on.
“Ok. Good. So, no nightmares ever? You don’t want to talk about it?” You figured now was a better time than ever to bring it to the table, whether she needed to talk about it or not.
“No. No nightmares. I’m alright, babe. I swear. Thank you, for asking me, though.” She offered you a genuine smile. “Just fix things with Y/N before they get too out of hand, ok?”
You nodded. “I will. I’ll give her some time, but I will. She probably has a lot of thinking to do.”
You bottled up the emotions as you gunned the vehicle home, knowing that there would be a time and a place for all of the discussions to take place. Elle had told Y/N if she needed a place to stay, she was welcome at your home while she and Jake figured things out. You weren’t sure if that would even happen anytime soon. But god, you hoped she’d stay there, at home, with him.
——
The rain had begun to pick up a little, but not so much that you couldn’t unload Elle’s few items safely. You backed into the driveway and the two of you worked diligently to bring her things inside before the rain gained any traction.
You spent the next half hour opening bags and boxes for her, not wanting to intrude too much on her personal items while simultaneously wanting her to feel 100% secure in doing whatever she wanted with them, in her new home.
You watched as she placed things in your closet in the space you’d cleared away for her, slowly hanging her shirts and dresses across hangers so as not to wrinkle them. You knew she was still uncomfortable, but she was powering through it, your occasional sweet and simple smiles giving her a boost.
“Do you need any more room? I’ve got drawers over here…” you said, offering her the top one for her intimates.
“Sure, that would be good.” She said shyly, bringing her small bag of bras, underwear, and socks over.
You sprawled out across the bed and watched her fill the drawer with her mix of cotton and lacy items, slowly organizing them into little sections.
“You don’t have to feel shy, babe. I’ve seen you more naked than probably any other man has…” you laughed.
She laughed too. “You’re right, I know. It’s just… weird.” She joined you on the bed, lying beside you and tucking into your side. “Thank you for taking me in like this, Sam. Seriously.”
“Elle, don’t start again. I love you, and you’re more than welcome to anything and everything in my home…our home, okay?”
That sounded strange coming from your mouth…good strange.
She nodded hard. “You know I’m going to take care of you, too, Sammy.”
“You don’t have to take care of me, love.” You replied, chuckling as you kissed the top of her head.
“I will though. It’s in my bones, you know that. I don’t know any other way.” She said. You couldn’t argue there. Acts of service was her love language.
“Alright then. You can do my laundry, I guess.” You joked, rolling your eyes with sarcasm. “Just don’t dry my shirts in the dryer or there will be hell to pay.” You laughed and hugged again, rolling over to get up and continue unpacking.
Back in the kitchen, you unpacked the two small boxes that were full of various small items, phone chargers and paperwork, tools and keys and things that belonged in a junk drawer.
“All the way at the end, top right drawer is where I keep all my crap. You can put yours in there too.” You said, placing some dishes into the dishwasher. She opened the drawer, fishing around and moving things to make extra space.
“Oh my god, Sam…what the fuck is this?” Elle suddenly exclaimed, her voice full of shock.
You turned to find her holding a small photograph, and you knew exactly which one it was. You gasped, your entire body filling with shock.
Fuck. The photo you’d taken of Y/N with yourself deep inside her mouth.
You’d stashed it in there long ago, and had since forgotten about it. You never thought someone would actually find it.
Should have kept that more hidden.
“I- I can explain that, Elle. I, here. I’ll take it. I’ll cut it up right now. I’m sorry, that’s…really awkward. I completely forgot that it was even in there…” you stammered, completely humiliated and unsure of what to say. You paced toward her, reaching to take the x-rated photo from her hands.
“No.” She said blanky, pulling the photo away from your reach. You were stunned.
“No? What do you mean, no? That’s so old, Elle, I didn’t even remember it was there…” you replied, your cheeks filling with embarrassment.
She brought the photo back down to study it again.
“I mean, no. Don’t cut it up. I kind of…like it…” she admitted.
You were so blindsided by her words that you completely stepped backwards. She what?
Your eyebrows raised in shock, and your hand scratched the back of your head on its own accord. “Um, ha ha, you, you what?” You breathed, fumbling over your words.
She brought her eyes from the photo back to you.
“I like it. It’s hot. You should keep it.” She said, placing it down on the counter, and resuming her task in the drawer. You were too stunned to speak.
“Elle, I don’t need to keep that, I need to get rid of it. I’m sorry you even saw it.” You said, trying to tie up loose ends. You picked up the photo and walked to grab scissors from another drawer.
“Sam, listen to me.” She said, coming over to you and stopping your hand from cutting the picture in two. “There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s your past, and it happened. It doesn’t bother me. I promise.”
The shock still hadn’t left your body, and you struggled to find words. She was being serious.
“Plus, like I said, it’s hot.” She said, hardly stopping her motions of filling the drawer while you stood, unable to move or form a coherent thought.
It’s hot. It’s hot?
“So wait. Wait, wait, wait.” You took Elle’s hands, forcing her to turn toward you. You needed to understand this exactly. You met her eyes, which were looking back to you confidently, waiting for your words.
“You want me to keep this? Because it’s hot? And you like looking at it? Am I getting that out correctly?” You asked.
She leaned into your face.
“Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying.” She replied, raising her eyebrows.
You weren’t sure how to respond, so you put the scissors down. Your mind was flying, trying to comprehend what you’d just heard, and how she’d just reacted. She noticed your confusion.
“Sam, listen. I love you, and you love me, right?” She asked.
You nodded. “Yes.”
“And you used to love Y/N, right?” She went on.
You nodded again. Still love her, still love you.
She hesitated a bit. “And…I’ve always thought Y/N was…attractive. She’s very pretty.”
You stopped breathing entirely.
“And I know how hot and involved you guys were at that point in time…it’s still so obvious when you’re together. I don’t know if anyone else can see it, but. I can tell.” She continued.
How the fuck?
She walked closer to you, her mouth mere inches from meeting with yours.
“Let’s just say, I’m sad I wasn’t around just a couple months earlier. Would have loved to have experienced that with you.” She said, her breath heavy on your lips.
You felt your entire world shatter. Lightheaded, confused, and extremely turned on by her words.
“You would have loved to have experienced that with me? With us?” You breathed, hardly any sound to your words at all.
She nodded slowly, licking her bottom lip into her mouth, her eyes traveling from yours and back down to your lips as she let hers brush past them, wet and soft. Every hair on your body was electrified, your ears had gone completely deaf. What is she insinuating?
You laughed into her mouth, finally connecting her lips with yours. “You’re…fucking…kidding me…Elle…” you managed. Your hands found her waist, squeezing your fingertips into her soft skin and pulling her toward you for your bodies to meet. You were definitely turned on now, her clarifying the insinuation, clearing your thoughts only for them to be muddled with ones that were much, much, darker now. Not good.
She kissed back into your mouth, bringing her hands to your hair to pull it from either side. She leaned herself into you, pressing herself against your already hard dick. She began to unbutton your jeans, palming over you on the outside as she let her tongue still explore your mouth. Your knees almost buckled at the instant touch.
“Show me the photo again, I want to see it.” She commanded, surprising you yet again. Your hand blindly searched the countertop until you found it where you left it, disconnecting from her for just a second while you showed her.
“Mmm, mmhmm…” she mumbled as she fell to her knees, pulling your jeans and boxers down a little bit with her. You turned a bit to lean against the counter, your hands finding the edge of it to hold yourself up.
She began rolling her tongue up and down your length, eagerly needing to taste you. You hissed at the contact, your head falling back as she wasted no time in taking you all the way into the back of her throat, her tongue swirling as she did so. Her hand had a firm grasp on your base, and she began bobbing up and down quickly, using her hand for leverage, squeezing you ever so slightly.
She was most definitely a pro at giving head, she always had been. And it was one of her favorites, too…always making sure that you were satisfied with it. You took her messy ponytail in your hand, pulling it back and forth and guiding her as she bottomed out, her lips grazing your base.
“Goddamnit, Elle, you’re so good…so fucking good…” you breathed as she hummed her wordless thank you, vibrating her tongue against your head, making you stiffen with pleasure. You continued to work her hair, guiding her exactly where you wanted her, and she let you. Her lips tightened around you as she pulled off with a pop.
Then, her eyes found yours, completely reenacting the photo that she had come to find interest in, still sitting on the counter beside you. You glanced at it quickly, seeing Y/N looking back at you as the memory of her mouth wrapped around you flashed through your brain.
Eyes back to Elle.
Her mascara was destroyed, rolling down her cheeks in a gray, wet stream. She continued her actions, making you want to come undone and keep going at the same time. You never wanted it to end. Your teeth clenched when she looked back up to you again, your jaw locking on itself when her blissed-out eyes met yours. She loved this too.
“God, I’m fuckin close baby…keep going…” you breathed, your head falling back again, jaw slack now as she sucked her cheeks in, her tongue tightening around the tip as she pulled you in with all she could. That was all it took, you felt yourself shaking with pleasure, your head looking low again as you made eye contact with her as you poured into her waiting mouth. She continued sucking hard, wanting every last drop to be caught on her tongue. She hummed again on you, showing that she loved the way you tasted, or at least that’s what she always said.
She pulled her mouth away, only a tiny string of saliva connecting you before she wiped it away with her hand. You pulled her ponytail up again to make her stand, coming off one knee at a time as she found her footing.
“A-fucking-1, baby. Always.” You told her before taking her in your arms again, kissing her with intention, tasting yourself on her lips. She smiled with pride at her work, shrugging it off like she knew she was hot shit. Because she was.
But now, she’d filled your mind with new thoughts, ideas that had always hidden themselves way back in the corners of your mind. And she seemed interested. But how could that ever work? Did she know you thought about that fantasy more than you’d like to admit? You pushed the thoughts away.
“How about I take care of you, now, gorgeous?” You questioned, pulling the waist of her pants toward you, placing your hand deep inside her panties. “Hmm? How’s that sound?”
She nodded as you felt inside of her folds, targeting her clit immediately and pressing your fingertip directly to it. She hummed in satisfaction, and took your hand, guiding you to your room. Her room.
You pushed her back onto the bed, your hands finding the waistline of her leggings and ripping them and her thong off completely. You knelt down, pushing her legs apart as you opened her up, admiring the scene.
“So, Y/N, huh?”
———
FEBRUARY 2022
HER POV
Time seemed to be passing so slowly, yet so quickly at the same time. The winter months were creeping by, and the cold air had been helping to press you down into a depression that you just couldn’t seem to shake. You were still upset with Jake, with all of them, but you were slowly trying to ease your lives back into normalcy again, though it was proving to be daunting.
Your mind had taken you to some deep, dark places since the incident with Andy, and the pressure of climbing your way back out had begun to take a toll. You spent most days locked inside the guest room, only coming out to do day to day tasks and scrounge for food while Jake was working. He had been nothing short of amazing since, trying to keep you happy in every sense of the word. You knew he was busy; they were leaving for their new tour soon, and they had been spending long hours at the office and studio finalizing plans and rehearsing.
Elle had begun to come over and spend a few hours with you here and there while the guys were busy, and you were truly thankful for her. She didn’t press, she didn’t ask questions, try to get you to talk or anything. Just stayed present with you. Tried to get you to go outside, get coffee, watch funny movies. You began to feel a new warmth in her presence, one that you looked forward to feeling.
She felt kind, and normal, and real…the sister you never had, as you once had told her. You also remembered back on the time when she gave you some of the best advice you’d ever gotten, and you’d asked her if she was a therapist in a past life. She understood how your mind worked, how everyone’s minds worked, and her ability to empathize while staying steadfast and rooted in the real world was, to be honest, what kept your head above water while you were treading for your life.
When you finally began to open up a little bit, and talk about Andy and your pasts together, she listened intently, taking in every single word like she was committing them to memory. You told her about how things began with him from start to finish, how he chameleoned his way into your life, creating an entirely different persona to match whatever mood he was in for the day.
You told her about the abuse, the lying, cheating…the horrible times where you thought you might not survive, the constant fear you had lurking around every corner. You also told her how he was sweet. Amazing, perfect, and wonderful. The man you thought about spending your life with at one point. Until Jake came tumbling back into the picture and changing your mind forever.
“Have you ever thought about…talking to someone, Y/N? A professional, maybe?” She touched lightly on the subject one day as you sat on the couch, sharing a kettle of chamomile.
“Ahh, I don’t know. Maybe. It might do me some good, huh?” You agreed.
“It would, sis. There’s no shame in that, it might truly bring you some peace, to understand your demons a little bit. Help you sort out some things, or work through them at least. Nightmares aren’t healthy, love. You’ve really been through it. And it’s valid to feel this way.” She said, bringing clarity to your mind.
“I’ll think about it.” You offered. And you really would.
——
One afternoon, you were lying in bed, mindlessly scrolling social media for some type of reprise, when a text from Sam popped up.
Keys
3:38pm: Hey there, just checking in. Just wanted to say hello, and that I hope you know how sorry I am. I’m so, so sorry. I know you’re in a really rough place right now, and probably still hate me, but I love you, and I’m here to talk if you need me. I want to apologize correctly. Please call soon.
Hmph. Samuel.
That was a thought that you had purposely stashed away for now, truly not having the mental capacity to even think about the world of Sam and your place in it. The conversations you’d had lately were just too much to think about right now, after everything. You knew he was probably feeling horribly about not being honest with you, but, in your conversation on the couch, you’d told him you hated lying to him. You were going to be 100% honest, because that was what he deserved. So you poured your feelings out, as much as it hurt.
And he’d done the same.
And chose to continue lying to you about Andy.
Fuck, what a mess. Your heart ached for Sam, it missed him. Your rock, your best friend, your mutual unrequited love that could never, and would never be.
You decided to keep it short, at least he’d reached out.
You
3:43pm: love you too, sammy
——-
Later that evening, more progress was made. It was one of the first interactions you’d had with Jake in weeks aside from sleeping in the same bed at night, and was probably one of the most heartwarming nights of your entire life so far.
You’d been pent up in the guest room, letting your eyes travel across the pages of a book to distract yourself from the ever-present hole in your chest. The day was long, and cold, and you’d barely emerged to do anything at all.
Suddenly, the faint sound of a record spinning lit up your senses, the familiar simple piano tune instantly bringing you a peaceful feeling you hadn’t felt in weeks.
You moved to the door, pressing your ear to it to see if you could hear better. And of course, the sound of Jake singing ‘Nothing Can Change This Love’ along with Sam Cooke filled your ears. You closed your eyes, and felt your chest fill with overwhelming warmth.
Okay.
You pressed your hand to the door handle, opening it slowly to make your way into the kitchen, seeing him standing at the stove stirring whatever ingredients he had compiled. He was in nothing but a pair of sweats with his messy bun sitting at the nape of his neck, his tiny wispy hairs sticking up from the steam of the boiling food he was standing over. He was singing loudly, letting his voice bounce off the walls and down the hallways. He turned quickly when he felt you watching him, wooden spoon in hand as his makeshift microphone.
A wide smile found his face, the look of pure love written all over him. You walked his way, finding yourself within inches of him as you stood and faced him. His free hand took yours, spinning you away from the stove and into the center of the room, holding you close while he continued to sing.
“Honey, nothin’, nothin’
Can ever change this love I have for you…”
His sweet and sultry voice combined with his gentle touch made your skin tingle; it’d been weeks since you’d felt him this close. You couldn’t help but grin as he made an absolute scene out of dancing with you in his kitchen.
He hesitantly but confidently brought his forehead to yours as he sang, meeting your eyes and quieting his voice.
“You’re sugar and spice”
You’re everything nice
You’re the girl of my, my, my, my dreams…”
You felt like you shouldn’t, but you let him. You let him hold you, feel you, breathe you in while you swayed, letting your bodies naturally move while he romanced you.
He felt good. He felt so, so good. The sturdiest and most unimaginable draw to another human that you’d ever felt. It wasn’t right to be away from him, your undeniable soulmate. You let your eyes stare deeply into his as he began to whisper the words now, letting the song come to a close and move on to the next. You glanced to his neck, the bright purple bruises of Andy’s fingertips still barely present.
He finally steadied his movements, exhaling a long breath, and let your hands drop back to your sides. His smile softened into more of a frown, and he brushed his way past you, returning to his place at the stove, leaving you standing in a pile of emotions.
“Dinner will be ready soon. I’ll bring you a plate, if you want.” He said blanky, staring into the pot.
“It…smells good…” you offered, folding your arms over yourself and walking to stand beside him. He seemed surprised by your action.
“Yeah, I think it’s gonna be…” he replied, stirring.
You felt confident enough to wrap your arm around his waist, squeezing his love handle gently. “Thank you for keeping me fed, Jake.”
You felt his body stiffen, then relax as he turned toward you again, placing a loving hand on your cheek.
“Of course, Y/N. You’re my girl.”
———
The days thereafter began to feel better and better. You were still sharing a bed with Jake, but the two of you would wake up, and go your separate ways for the day. Today, though, today felt better. The sun was out, and Valentine’s Day was approaching. You’d started to emerge from your hideaway more often while Jake was home, cleaning the house and doing your duties as a roommate.
You were cleaning the kitchen and dusting off the countertops when your eyes caught the calendar hanging on the wall. Today, February 13. Jake had written in the tiny box, ‘one month until dreams in gold’.
Shit.
Their brand new tour, their huge tour, is one month from today. You leave even sooner than that. And here you were, wasting time feeling sorry for yourself. You slammed your towel down on the counter, shaking your head free of all your thoughts. One month. You worked for them, you were hired by them to assist, to work with the label and the agencies and make everything work to make this tour transition easier for them. And you hadn’t done a thing.
You went back into the bedroom, grabbing your phone from the charger. You brought up Josh’s contact, and let it ring.
“Well hello there, stranger. How are you?” His comforting voice filled you with positivity.
“I’m, okay. I think. How are you?”
“I’m alright, miss hearing from you.” He said quietly.
Joshy. Your heart and soul.
“I’m sorry, Josh. It’s been…a rough cut of time.” You sighed as you placed your hand over your eyes.
“I know it has, hun. I know it.” He said.
“Hey, um, I was wondering if maybe you could meet me later, grab lunch or something? I think, um. I think you need to give me a list of duties as your new assistant.” You said directly.
It was a few beats before you heard anything on the other line.
“You know what, yes. We do need to talk about that. I’ve got all kinds of stuff lined up for you, we’ve been working to figure out how we can put your skills to use again, if you’re cool with that.” He went on.
“Yes, I’m cool with that. I’m ready to work again.” You might not be, but you’ve got to start somewhere. And Josh didn’t need to know that.
“Sounds lovely. I’m over on the west side now, but I’ll swing by Jake’s and pick you up at noon?” He asked.
“Perfect.”
——
Josh pulled into the driveway as you and Jake tinkered about the house, cleaning and relaxing. The conversation had grown a little, but still left plenty of space between the two of you.
“What’s he doing here?” Jake asked, peering out the front door window.
You turned as you grabbed your coat and purse from the hook to head out the door. “He’s taking me to lunch. We’re going to discuss my new job duties.” You offered him a quick smile.
He stood straighter, putting his hands on his hips with a satisfied look on his face. “Oh! Is that right? Well, you two have fun!” His smile was giant.
“Thanks, I’ll bring you leftovers!” You answered, opening the door.
“I love you!” He called.
Your heart swelled as you turned and passed over the threshold. “I love you too, Jake.”
The ride to the restaurant wasn’t going to be long, and you knew that Josh had been giving you space, just like they all had, and probably was also wanting to talk.
“How is your leg? Healing up okay?” He finally said after a minute or two of silence.
“Yeah, it’s okay. Still sore, but doing better. How have you been?” You asked.
“Okay, just busy prepping stuff for when we leave. Are you excited to be on the road again?” He asked, his twinkling eyes darting between you and the crowded streets.
You hadn’t really thought about it. “Yes, I’m getting excited. I’m ready to get out of the house, start working again.” You admitted. “I feel cooped up.”
“I guarantee it. It’s been a tough month. I was so glad to see you calling today.” He smiled as he spoke.
“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner, Josh. My mind has just been…fried.” You bit your lips.
“I know. But you don’t need to be the one apologizing, Y/N. It should be me. All of us. We kept you in the dark, and that was not the right thing to do. Wasn’t smart of us at all. You didn’t deserve that.” He said, tapping nervously on the steering wheel.
That felt good to hear, especially from him.
“Look, I know I can’t apologize for my brothers and Daniel but just know we love you, so much. All of us do. Elle, too. We learned a grave lesson from all this, and I can tell you right now that we learned it the hard way, at your expense. And it was fucked up of us. There’s nothing in this world we could ever do to make what happened go away, and all we can do is move forward from it.” He took a deep breath as he pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, and put the car in park. He turned to you, placing his hand on your knee.
“I wish I could take it all back, do things the right way. I know Jake does too. But just know he did what he did to protect you, as…backwards as that sounds. He was coming from a good place. You know he loves you and wouldn’t ever hurt you intentionally. Right?” He went on, pity in his eyes as he spoke quietly.
“I know, Josh.” You whispered. “I’m just, processing. Taking my time to work it out in my head. I know none of you had ill intentions. I love you all, too.”
“Jake is the most loyal son of a bitch I’ve ever known.” He chuckled, slapping his hand against your knee. “I know for a fact he won’t ever make this mistake again, love.”
The two of you exited the car and met back again in front of it as he took your hand in his, warm and inviting, escorting you to the door of the restaurant. “After you. Let’s talk show business, baby.”
——
You woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee and breakfast, your eyes fluttering open and closed as the sleep wore away. You sat up and stretched as your eyes adjusted, seeing something lying on your nightstand.
The tiniest bundle of daisies all wrapped together with the stem of one of them, lying delicately beside a card. You smiled wryly, wiping your eyes. You reached for the card and flowers, opening the tucked in paper to reveal a small handwritten note.
You smiled as you smelled the flowers, their earthy and somewhat herbaceous scent making your memories run wild.
You got up and ran to the bathroom, then threw on an oversized robe and made your way into the kitchen, once again finding Jake chefing away. You walked toward the coffee pot, grabbing a mug from the cabinet and filling it, Jake’s eyes drifting wordlessly over to meet yours. He smirked when he saw you, and looked back down to his frying pan.
“What?” You laughed.
He bit back a smile again. “You look good in my robe. Nice and cozy, hmm?”
“It is. Very fluffy…” you pulled it up and around your neck.
He laughed and swiped his hands together, turning towards you and opening his arms, inviting you in for a hug.
A hug, okay. We can do that.
You grinned and fell into him softly, not quite extending your arms all the way around him. You felt him relax at your touch, probably feeling as relieved as you did.
He bent his mouth down to near your ear, whispering quietly over the popping sound of the bacon frying.
“Even if you don’t want to, can you fake a real hug? For me? Just for a second…”
You found that amusing, you had been holding out on him for literally any type of physical touch for almost a month now.
You took a deep breath, and slowly extended your arms to wrap completely around him, clasping them behind his back as he exhaled completely this time. He spun you in tight half circles as you stood, just holding each other.
“God I miss you…” he mumbled almost too quietly to even be heard.
“I miss you too, babe. So bad.” You admitted, tears threatening your eyes. You stood like that for a couple of minutes, the two of you fighting through choppy breaths and letting tears fight their way through your eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m really, really sorry. Please. Can you forgive me…” he began to plead. No, no. Not right now, Jake. It’s Valentine’s Day. And 8am.
You took another deep breath. “Everything’s gonna be okay, Jake. I promise. Just…please, stop crying…” you began to feel the tears threatening you, too, and you hugged him tighter in your arms.
“I don’t wanna keep crying, I’ve done nothing but cry for an entire month.” He said, burying his face in your neck. “I just want us to be normal again. Want you to love me again…”
You cut his words off. “I do love you, Jake! God! I’ve not stopped, babe. I swear. We’ve just. Fallen apart, a little bit.” You cradled the back of his head in your hand, patting his strings of hair down. He doesn’t seem like he’s been taking good care of himself, either. “We’ll get back soon. Just give it time. Give me time. We’re okay.” You were consoling him now.
You let him cry into you for a little bit until he dried himself up. He needed that. He needed to be vulnerable for a minute, let himself and you feel the weight completely.
He stepped back, wiping his eyes and face, before he returned to his spot, flipping the cooking bacon.
“Well, shit. That was embarrassing.” He chuckled, swallowing hard, and bringing his eyes up to look your way.
“No it wasn’t, Jake. I- I’m so sorry too. I really, truly am. You didn’t deserve to go through what you did. Thank you for the flowers, and the card…that was really sweet. Really thoughtful.” You offered him a genuine smile through your wet eyes.
He pulled the skillet off the heat and began putting the bacon onto a plate. You waited for him to speak.
“Did you want to do anything today? After we eat…? We don’t have to, just. Thought you might want to get away…” he murmured.
You let a small smile find your lips. “Actually, I, uh. I already got us a place to stay. I got us a little cabin in the woods, a tiny getaway. We have reservations there, tonight and tomorrow. Was gonna surprise you. If you… want to go. With me.” You stammered through the sentence, your words feeling foreign after so long. You expected him to be taken aback, indifferent to the idea after going so long being on less than amazing terms.
Instead, you were met with utter surprise and joy, his face lighting up in a way that you’d never seen before.
“Really? Are you kidding me?” You could feel the excitement rolling through the air off of him. “You…planned something for us?”
You smiled. “Yeah, I did. I think we deserve it, right? Some time away, just us?”
His hands found your face, cupping your cheeks together as he squeezed. “We absolutely deserve it, baby. You deserve it. You deserve the world.”
You grinned as best you could as his strong hands pressed your cheeks together, and he planted a giant kiss right on your lips.
Finally.
Your entire being lit up like a Christmas tree, the best parts of your world finding their footing again. For the first time in weeks, you felt one of the best emotions to ever exist. Excitement.
——
The rest of the morning was spent packing small bags for a couple nights stay in the cabin, throwing necessities in plastic bags and really not overthinking it. You and Jake joked back and forth as you scrambled to find what you needed; his entire demeanor had changed. He was smiling, happy, flirty, and excited. He stopped you every so often just to hug you, let you know he loved you. Things felt good.
You’d texted Elle to let her know where you’d be for the next couple of days, and that you most likely wouldn’t have good service. You’d agreed to let her know when you arrived safely, and she was overjoyed to hear that you were getting back on good terms with Jake.
You decided to throw a little sexy piece of lingerie into your bag; it was Valentine’s Day, after all. When you had both gotten everything you needed, you made your way through the house, shutting off lights and closing doors, and before you knew it you and Jake were en route to the cabin about three hours outside of town.
After an easy drive, you pulled up into the gravel driveway of an old dark wood cabin, one singular porch light on on the front. It was small, but welcoming, and the only neighbor within close by was about a mile from the main road, and even further from you. He parked the car and the two of you hopped out into the cold crisp air, the wind biting at your nose. A storm approaching.
You took turns carrying in your bags and the small amount of groceries for the weekend, and each time you passed each other, he would purposefully brush his hand against yours sending electricity through your body. Shit, you truly missed his touch. Being without him felt like robbing yourself of one of the most indulgent experiences you had. Maybe tonight would be the night you rekindled.
Jake brought his phone out to check the time. “Shit, I have absolutely no signal at all. Do you?”
You pulled your phone that was lying on the counter toward you, pressing the screen to illuminate.
“Nope. No bars at all.” You responded, lifting your glance to him.
“Well, alrighty then.” He clapped his hands together, moving them against each other to warm them up. “Let’s get the party started. What’s your drink of choice tonight, madam?” Jake asked in his best Jack Sparrow accent. He walked to the counter top, grabbing a case of cold seltzers and a bottle of Pinot Noir to display to you.
You tapped your finger against your chin. “Mmm, how about the whiskey?” You proposed, leaving a questioning look on his face.
“Uhh...That’s not one of your options, love.” He raised his eyebrows, offering the two choices to you again.
You walked toward him, placing your pointer finger directly on top of his belt buckle while you looked him in the eye.
“Jacob…Jacob, Jacob. You think I don’t know you? You think I don’t know you have a bottle of Irish stowed away in your bag? Come on. Or actually, better yet…” you trailed your fingertip up his stomach, landing on his chest, more than you’ve touched him in ages. But god, you were feigning. “…tequila? I know you have tequila.”
He hissed through his teeth at your touch, and your words, shaking his head and laughing as he fell flat in his expression.
“You do know me too well, baby. In the suitcase.” He responded, motioning his head toward the bedroom.
You smirked, knowing that you’d won this time. And getting drunk in a cabin alone with Jake sounded like just the ticket for a perfect Valentine’s night. Were you still upset with him? Pissed? Felt lied to and deceived? Like you may not ever be able to fully trust him again? Yes. But like Josh said, all you can do is move forward. And you’d decided to do just that. After all, you were in too deep at this point.
You’d begun to nip the tequila early in the evening, only feeling the tiny effects starting to blur your brain, but not enough to leave you too drunk too early. Jake had also begun to nip at the bottle.
“You want me to make you a margarita?” He asked, the sun dipping low in the sky and darkness descending upon the windows of the cabin. “I brought limes…”
You looked to him inquisitively. “You can make a margarita with just tequila and limes? What about the mix and all the fancy stuff?”
He scoffed, looking down into his brown bag of goodies that you’d gotten from his suitcase. “A true margarita isn’t made with mix, love. Ice, fresh lime juice, maybe a bit of orange liqueur, and sweet, sweet agave tequila. That’s it.” He snapped his fingers.
You shrugged, impressed at his knowledge. “And you really thought to bring–”
Just then he pulled the smallest bottle of triple sec from the bag, almost empty, and shook it to you. “Orange liqueur? Yep. I got it.”
Your mouth hung open. “Wow Jake, I am impressed you thought to bring that. How’d you know I’d want tequila?” You questioned.
He bit his lips in. “Mmm, because. I know you’re nervous. And I know you like to drink it when you’re anxious. It does the best at taking the edge off.” He said as he brought a handful of ice over to fill your glasses. You watched his hands as he worked.
“Why do you think I’m nervous?” You pressed, moving your body closer toward his.
“Because…we’ve barely talked, or touched… in weeks. And now we’re locked away in a cabin together for three days. Hell baby, I’m nervous.” He said, moving his jaw from side to side as he darted his eyes from yours back to his task.
“Kinda like starting from the beginning again…we should be used to this by now…” he grinned slowly, watching himself make the drinks. “But you’ve always had a way of giving me the worst case of butterflies…”
“Ice…orange…tequila…” he recited as he mixed the ingredients with a stirring straw, another item found in his brown bag of goodies. You watched as he took a knife from the drawer of utensils, effectively slicing a lime into perfect quarters and squeezing the juice into the drink, stirring once more.
He then picked up the knife and sliced again, cutting a tiny slit in the guts of the lime, and pressing it down onto the rim of your glass, garnishing it perfectly.
“Voilá!” He said, gesturing wildly with his hands.
You giggled at his perfect display. “Okay, what about the salt?” You inquired. “You didn’t rim the glass, or put any in the drink.”
He turned, opening the cabinet above the stove to reveal a salt shaker. “The salt is just for show. Only intensifies the flavor of the sweet liqueur. Offsets it. Salt in the drink will brine it. But, on the rim, it does make it more delicious. Wakes your palate up…”
He took your hand, and brought it to his mouth, licking a wet stripe across the back of your knuckles while never breaking away from your gaze. Ah, fuck. Then he took the salt shaker and sprinkled a hefty amount of salt onto the wet place his tongue had made. “Drink up, babydoll.” His eyes flickered back to yours, making your stomach do flips.
This was going to be a long few days.
——
He’d made dinner, he’d wine and dined you, he’d even relaxed with you on the couch until you both were dozing off to the B-list movie you’d chosen from the choice of old video cassettes left behind at the cabin.
You’d allowed yourself to get closer to him, you were over being upset. It was exhausting, to say the least. You knew you were in the right to be upset with him, with all of them, but there was nothing wrong with letting him work for your affection a little bit. What he’d done had hurt, badly. And the feeling of disrespect creeped its way into the back of your mind every so often, until you fought it away with grace and forgiveness.
In the few short hours you’d been there, you’d laughed so hard together you almost cried. You’d gotten into fake teasing arguments that ended in him tackling you, tickling you to the point that you were a ball of laughter and emotions on the floor. Things were feeling good. You both needed this.
After two more of his special margaritas that brought you back to life, you found yourselves sitting on the floor of the kitchen, enjoying each other’s company while you shared a bowl of popcorn. You’d both changed into comfortable clothes, sweatshirts and oversized pants. Suddenly, the lights began to flicker a bit. You felt the walls thicken against the wind, and heard the low rumble of thunder in the distance.
“What the hell? Was that thunder? In February?” He said, shooting you a confused stare.
“A thundersnow.” You replied, mirroring his look.
“No, those are really rare. There’s no way…” he went on, as another giant crack of thunder echoed its way through the air.
You both stood and ran to the window, looking into the distance as he flipped the porch light on. A heavy snow was falling, quickly covering the ground as the wind began to whip across the outside walls.
“Shit, this snow is heavy. We might lose power if it keeps up like this…it’s already snowed a few inches without us even noticing.” he said quietly.
Your stomach fell again. Locked inside a cabin alone with your boyfriend with nothing but each other and candlelight? Intriguing.
“Maybe we should…look for candles and extra blankets?” You offered.
He smiled hard, his tiny hoarse giggle leaving his mouth quietly between his teeth. Your favorite sound on earth.
“You mean you don’t want to head home? It could get really cold in here…” he said.
“Mmm, no. We paid for it, we can wait it out. We’re from Michigan, babe. We know how to prep.” You offered with confidence. “Plus there’s a fireplace.”
He laughed again. “Yes ma’am!”
You scrounged the cabinets for candles and things to burn. You managed to find a whole hoard of half-burnt candles and a battery-powered lantern, and luckily, the cabin was equipped with a very nice fireplace. The owners had stashed plenty of firewood on the porch, leaving you fuel to get through should you need it.
Jake put on his jacket and boots and walked back down the road a bit, searching for better cell signal. You cranked the thermostat up high, letting the cabin warm itself as best it could. You filled the bathtub and all the sinks up with hot water, and left a tiny steady drip coming from the faucets.
Jake returned a few minutes later, shaking off the layer of snow that had accumulated on him.
“Fuckkkkk it’s fucking cold!” He shivered as he removed his jacket and hung it on a hook by the door. “I got enough signal to look at the weather app…it’s a low of 8° with a windchill, we’re expecting over a foot of snowfall tonight, and it said to expect outages. I also shot Josh a text to let him know we made it and we’re braving the storm.”
“Perfect. Sounds like a fun night.” You said semi-sarcastically, semi-excitedly. You always did like getting snowed in as a kid. It lended you opportunities to use survival skills, and always made you feel some sense of community within your neighborhood. People sharing food, building bonfires in yards, checking in with one another to see if all was well. But, this was a bit different.
Jake leaned his elbows down on the small kitchen island, resting his head on his fists. He gave you a look that you swore could raise you from the dead, if he needed it to. “I think it will be a fun night.” He said through a devilish grin.
Just then, a large burst of lightning filled the room, knocking every bit of electricity out. You both stood in complete silence, knowing it could bounce back on. After about ten seconds of nothing, you both burst out into laughter.
“You just had to say we might lose power, didn’t you Jake? Now look. We’re gonna freeze and die!” You giggled, flipping on the lantern.
“Hey! You were the one who said you wanted to stay! And got all these supplies together. I’m ready. Let’s brave it. Go grab me some old magazines from the bathroom.” He ordered as he laughed his way into the living room.
You did as he asked, returning to him with a handful of magazines and old catalogs. You began ripping the pages out and twisting them into tight cones as he pulled out his lighter, igniting the papers and placing them on log rest. Before long, he’d built a perfect fire, and it was already warming the room into a cozy atmosphere.
The couch was oversized, thankfully, and was large enough to suit both of you comfortably to sleep there instead of the bedroom. You went and got the bed sheets and comforter off the bed, bringing them and all the pillows you could grab back into the living room.
“We might have to use each other’s body heat for warmth, you know. To survive and stuff.” He said, taking a long sip of his drink and sliding himself comfortably onto the plush couch.
You felt your insides warm. “Hmm…to survive, huh? No other reason you want to feel my body heat?”
He swallowed. “I mean. I’d love to feel your body heat…just…to feel it, honestly. I miss how you feel. On me. All over me…”
Risky, Jake.
Fuck it. You’ll take the bait.
“Hmm, you do, do you? How long has it been… since you…felt me?” You asked, moving to position yourself in the crook of his arm, watching his face as the fire illuminated his features.
He inhaled. “Ahhh, way too fucking long. I can tell you that much.”
You leaned into him, bringing your face so close to his that you could feel his breath on your skin. He was nervous, anxious to move. You could tell that he wanted you badly, missed you. But he was holding back, letting you make the moves as you saw fit.
He lightly tickled his hand along your shoulder, grazing his fingertips up and down your arm as he looked so far into your eyes that you felt your breath catch completely in your throat.
Complete darkness in the room, aside from the warm orange glow of the crackling fire, only added to your insane urge to have your way with him, bring him back to you in the best way, not caring one bit about any inhibition either of you had, or would ever have.
The allure of darkness, the inevitable necessity to stay under the covers all night, curled up and twisting limbs with him was making your mind go wild with carnal thoughts…you wanted him back. Needed to feel him inside you again. It had been too long. Unabashed, unafraid, and passionate. He was all you could fathom, and you knew that acting on it just might kill you.
Jake slowly and cautiously brought his lips to your neck, lightly touching the most sensitive part as his nose tickled the tiny hairs. Barely there, just an essence of romance, you let him breathe you in. Just this slight touch made you writhe with anticipation, feeling yourself pool with excitement, something you hadn’t felt in many weeks. As your ears rang from pure lust and adrenaline, you heard something. Something familiar. The sound reverberated off your neck, right where Jake’s mouth was exploring.
'Turn to night
Firelight
Stars shine in her eyes
Makes me feel like I’m alive…'
You felt every bone in your body turn to mush, every drop of blood flow onto the floor, and every teardrop go directly to your eyes.
He was singing to you.
Your song.
Except it wasn’t really in the same tune as the real song. It carried differently from him, than it did from Josh. Almost as if he was singing the lyrics along to the tune of how he played it on guitar.
But it fit. It was so him, the way he sang it to you. Your very own song in your very own tune from the man that wrote it for you. You swore you could die in peace at that very moment.
He brought his nose back up to your jawline, his breath choppy and cautious, like he was being intimate with you for the very first time. You closed your eyes, feeling the heat from the fire on your face, and the heat from him and his breath burning your senses.
He finally whispered almost unintelligibly. “I’m so…nervous, Y/N…” you felt his words fall into your ear as he continued the sweet nothings, making every hair on your body stand up.
“Why baby?” You asked, whispering too, eyes falling backwards as he licked onto your neck.
“I don’t know…just, feels brand new…like I need to explore you…” his words were slow and drawn out as he spoke them, like he thought about each and every one before he said it.
“Want to start from scratch, get to know you again…don’t want to move too fast…” he ghosted his hand down your center under the blankets, gently snaking his hand up and down, and letting his fingers slip into your waistline.
You inhaled long and deep, letting your breath recenter you, as you were failing miserably and fighting the urge to pounce on him.
Calm down, Y/N…just feel…
You turned your head to him now, meeting his half-hooded and relaxed eyes. You nodded, showing your approval to proceed with that. Gently, slowly, you let your lips press to his again, the burning and ravaging fire inside you growing with every second. You tried your best to extinguish it, but the way his lips felt tonight was only fanning the flames.
Is this the same man you’ve kissed and loved for half your life?
Why does he feel so different?
You felt his smile on your lips as you parted yours, letting the kiss deepen a bit as you brought a hand to his hair, gently pulling and massaging.
“Don’t be nervous, baby. It’s just me…” you breathed, bringing your hand to cover his growing bulge. “Deep breaths, it’s okay. I’m okay.”
“Mmm…just want to make sure you feel good love…all the time…” he said, sliding his hand all the way under your pants now, and pressing his fingertips between you.
“Ahh, already there, hmm?” He said, sitting up slightly now to look at you, feeling the wetness between your legs steadily dripping as he touched you. He dug his face into your ear again, while pressing a finger deep inside of you. “You feel like heaven on my hand, baby. I’ve almost forgotten what you feel like from the inside…so wet and so warm…perfect fit for me…always were…”
His words were utterly melting you, turning you into a puddle on the couch. You began to pant as he moved his hand expertly up and down, his finger sliding devastatingly slowly in and out, curling and hooking in all the right spots. Just like he knew you liked. His thumb stayed on your clit, rubbing tiny circles over it while he worked.
You moved your hand to inside his boxers now, feeling him in your palm for what felt like the first time. His muscles went rigid, and he let out a cry that made you even wetter than you were before; you swore his voice had a power over you that you couldn’t explain.
You met his lips again, burying your tongue deeply as you whimpered into his mouth. “God keep making those sounds baby, you could get me there just by doing that…”
Ditto, Jake.
You didn’t have to try, the expletives were dripping off your tongue on their own accord, filling the tiny space with obscenities. He was hard and long in your hand, and you could feel him pulsing hard. He was primed.
You suddenly sat up, throwing your leg over top of his waist to straddle him. “Can I ride you?” You asked him, both your hands buried in his tangled hair.
“Fuck yeah, you can ride me. Please…” he breathed more than spoke. In a frenzy, you each worked to de-clothe yourselves, your completely naked and uncovered parts finally in contact with one another again. His hands reached up to cup your breasts, now uncovered as well. “So fuckin’ gorgeous…My beautiful girl…”
“Touch me again Jake, make me ache…” you begged. You were absolutely starved for his dick to fill you as soon as possible. You wouldn’t last much longer.
He did as you asked, bringing his thumb to make those murderous circles again. You couldn’t help your head falling backward, your mouth falling slack along with it. His fucking hands…
“I want you to fuck me, baby. Slow and steady…no rush, okay?” He asked. How could you ever deny a request like that?
You nodded hard showing you understood. ”Whatever you want. I’ll do it for you.”
He grabbed your hips, digging his fingertips in with enough force to lift you from his lap and place you directly above him, leaving you there. He looked between you, letting his eyes rake from the point of almost-contact, up your torso, your neck, and finally your face, your eyes pleading with him to let him bottom out inside you.
“Please, Jake…” you murmured, falling into a void.
He moved his hands again, pressing you down slowly onto him, taking all of ten seconds to reach as far as he could, letting the both of you feel as much as humanly possible of each other. Every inch, every centimeter, you felt. You clenched your muscles together to squeeze him even more tightly, pulling him into you on the very first entrance.
The look on his face was one that will stay burned into your mind for the rest of time…brows furrowed, mouth open, looking near tears and in pain if you didn’t know any better. He was an absolute angel, and he was all yours.
“Fuckkking shit Y/N, god damn, woman…you’re…” his words were incoherent, you could hardly piece them together yourself. His fingertips, hot like burning coals on your skin, moved your hips exactly how he wanted them. You pulled up a bit, letting yourself begin to move on top of him. His hands guided you there, pushing and pulling your waist, gyrating hard but slow on his dick…you swore you could feel him brushing against your cervix.
“God Jake, did you…I can feel you so deep…I’ve never…” you couldn’t even finish, your carnal instincts taking over your brain. You began to move on him with more fervor, quickening your speed as you allowed yourself to fully feel him.
The room was hot, the blankets still covering your bodies as you stayed hidden away from a world that was miles away.
“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful…keep doing that, just like that…fuck…just like that…” he instructed, bringing a hand to the center of your breastbone, pushing you backwards a bit to get a better view. There were no words to describe how he felt inside you, it was unlike any other time you’d had sex with him before. Like a whole different person all wrapped up in your gorgeous, talented lover.
The sweat was pouring from both of you, a stark difference from the air just two rooms down. The fire was still burning and raging all around, fueling your desires in such a way that made you pray this would never end. It couldn’t end. And when it did, you’d just want to start it all over again.
“Slow down baby, squeeze me harder, slow and steady, remember…” you shook your head, deep breaths finding you again. “A time and place for the rest, love…I’ll fuck you hard next time. Do it just how you like. Right now I want you to make it last…make me beg for it, Y/N.”
Goddamn, can he shut the fuck up before you come crashing down all over him before he’s ready?
So you did, you made it last. You fought through. And you were glad you did, you knew what he was doing. He wanted you to back away each time you thought you were close, one of his favorite old tricks that you’d decided was his kink. Watching you edge yourself. How insanely hot and fucked up is that? You repeated it for as long as you could.
Finally, you changed up your pace, squeezing him harder than you had all night, swirling your hips in figure eights and connecting your mouth to his for a deep and sensual kiss. You knew that drove him crazy. He whimpered into your mouth as you dug your tongue deep, continuing your grinding.
“Yeah, yes baby, I’m close…keep going…” he pulsed quicker inside you, bringing you to the edge of the cliff, too. Your vision began to blur as you heard the room fill with absolutely obscene sounds. Your releases came at the same time, both of you clawing at one another, hands and fingers digging in wherever they could reach, mouths kissing hard and biting at whatever skin they landed on.
On the come down, your body relaxed completely onto his, every muscle falling limp. “Jesus, I missed you. That was…I don’t think we’ve ever done it like that, babe. You felt…fuckin’ divine…” he breathed into your shoulder.
You grinned, pure joy filling your psyche at the feeling of being surrounded by him again.
“I love the hell out of you, babe.” You admitted. “And just think, this is only our first night here.”
He laughed. “I’m going to have to get used to going rounds again, aren’t I?” He asked, nipping at your jawline.
“Mmm, maybe. We do have two whole days left…”
You sat in silence for a few more minutes, taking each other in.
“Do you think he’s really gone for good, Jake?” You asked, breaking the silence.
“Who, Andy? Yeah baby, they locked his ass up. You don’t need to worry anymore.” He replied, trying his best to put you at ease.
He hugged you hard, leaning his head onto yours.
“Oh shit, I almost forgot!” He said, jumping off the couch and running into the bedroom, taking the lantern with him. He returned a minute later, a tiny cigar box in his hand. It was painted black wood, adorned with some type of gorgeous South American art, golds and reds painted across the lid.
“What’s this babe?” You asked, taking the box as he climbed back under the blankets.
“I didn’t have anything else to put it in to keep it safe…but, you don’t have to wear it, if you don’t want. Just wanted it to be back in your possession…” he went on.
You flipped the lid of the box open, revealing your dainty silver necklace, with a perfect daisy charm.
Shit. You’d ripped it from your neck and given it back to him that day you found out he lied to you…and to be completely honest, you’d felt naked without it every single day since then.
“Jake, my gosh. I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t have taken this off. Ever.” You took it from the box, wrapping it behind your head and clasping it back together. You fingers found the charm, and positioned it to lie perfectly against your chest, right where it belonged.
“Perfect…” he whispered, admiring how it looked lying against your skin.
You brought your lips to Jake’s again, leaving him with a sweet kiss that made your heart stop.
“She loves me?” He whispered.
“She loves you.”
—
SAM POV
The wind blew in the door behind you as you stepped into the practice studio, drops of rain and snow flying in before you could pull the door closed. You joined Jake and Daniel inside, placing your guitar on the couch and going straight to the refrigerator for a seltzer.
You cracked the top, watching the fizz bubble through the opening before you placed your mouth overtop to catch it. You grabbed your guitar case and headed through the second door greeting your brothers.
“It’s almost Vegas time, baby! How are we feeling?!” You asked, taking another swig and getting your bass out.
“I’m fuckin’ excited.” Daniel replied, walking over to his kit to sit. “Are we gonna have time to hit the slots a little?”
“I think so.” Jake replied. “I’m ready to sit at a black jack table until the sun comes up, if we’re being honest. And maybe roulette. Smoke a fat fuckin' cigar…”
“Fitting, Jake.” You laughed.
“What, why?” He said, throwing a hand into the air.
“I don’t know. That’s just the most you thing you’ve ever said.” He nodded in agreement.
“How was your Valentine’s Day Samuel?” Danny asked, tapping around.
“Good! Low key, finished moving most of her stuff in, made dinner and ended it on a high note, of course.” Your memory flashed back to said high note, you and Elle had brought the mattress into the living room and watched movies until the wee hours of the morning. But really no movies were watched at all.
“How about you Jake? Josh said you got snowed in pretty good over there…” you went on.
“Yeah, the snow came fast and heavy, we lost power the first night we got there. Just kept a fire going the whole time. It was a lot of fun.” He replied, fighting back a horrible shit-eating grin.
“Ah, bundled up in a powerless cabin with nothing but a fire and each other to keep you warm, I bet that was fun. So you guys are ok now?” You replied, feeling a tinge of guilt hitting that you still hadn’t had a good conversation with Y/N yet, or gotten to apologize to her the right way.
Jake sighed. “Yeah, we’re okay. Obviously I’m still trying to make damn sure of that, but. We really shouldn’t have lied to her for so long. I’m sorry I made you guys do that. My fault she’s upset with you, too.” He admitted, sorrow in his voice as he plugged his guitar in.
“Ah, it’s alright man. If she can forgive you, she can forgive us.” Daniel replied. You shook your head in agreement, though you knew in your case, that might not be so true.
“How about you Danny? How was your first Valentine’s post Heidi?” Jake inquired.
“Not bad actually. I didn’t even remember it was Valentine’s Day until like 5pm anyway.” He laughed.
“Do you miss her?” You asked, sipping your drink.
He thought for a minute, picking at his fingernails. “To be completely honest, no. I thought I would, but I feel fine. Like I can be myself now. Do whatever I want, go grow up like I need to. In fact I have a few ideas in the works...She was just bogging me down, you know? Dangling me on a little string.”
The two of you nodded. “I do miss the sex though, I’ll tell you that much.” He continued. “That was…” he lifted his drink to his lips, raising his eyebrows high, unable to finish the sentence.
“Oooh, that was what Daniel? Share with the class…” you went on.
Just then, Josh barged into the room, late as always. “Hello, hello. I’m here, let’s go.” He yelled, interrupting the conversation.
Daniel swallowed and took a breath, fumbling with his drumsticks again. “There was a big part of mine and Heidi’s relationship that I never told you guys about.” His cheeks went red.
“What the fuck did I walk in on?” Josh said, looking to each of you.
“Yeah, do tell, Danny.” Jake pressed, leaning on his guitar.
“Well, we kind of uh. We had a girl…friend… for a long time…” he treaded lightly.
The room fell silent, you felt your stomach fall. “You what?!” You exclaimed.
“A few, actually…it went on for a long time with the first one, until we kind of just stopped seeing her. Then we would find…others…” he took another long drink.
“Wow, holy shit. Wait, okay.” The three of you were flabbergasted. “You’re telling me that for the past four, five years whatever, you and Heidi were…bringing someone else home? Together?” You asked.
“Yeeeeep. That’s about right.” He said, a huge smile finding his face.
“Holy shit Danny! Why didn’t you ever say anything to us? That’s some shit you share, dude.” Jake asked, laughing.
Daniel shrugged. “Ah, I don’t know. Thought you might judge me, or her. All I know is, those were some of the hottest times I’ve had thus far…”
Daniel brought his eyes to you, giving you a look in the language only the two of you spoke, his eyes wide. The one you used on stage. The one that said ‘Read my mind, bitch. We’ll talk later.’
“Well hot damn, we’ve got ourselves a professional bachelor over here! And we didn’t even know it.” Josh hollered above everyone else.
Daniel held eye contact with you while you read his mind, millions of tiny thoughts filling your head, especially after what Elle had told you the other day when she found that photo in the drawer. So Daniel has been there before, hm? Maybe he could…offer some advice…
“Ah, it’s in the past. I’m not sure I’ll ever have a relationship like that ever again. That’s a once in a lifetime thing.” He said, tapping his hi- hat a few times. “Anyway, enough about me, let’s get going.”
You practiced for a couple of hours, drowning yourselves in the music, letting your minds be taken over by the sounds you were making.
“Did we just accidentally write a new song again?” You said, the look of defeat falling across your face. “We gotta stop doing that.”
“I loved that! We’re keeping it! Jake, go see if we happened to be recording any of it…” Daniel answered.
Jake and Josh hopped up to go through the glass door and into the soundboard room, flipping around with computers and monitors, leaving you and Daniel alone.
“Okay, fucking spill. I need details, hurry.” You spat to Daniel.
“Dude, it was wild. I can’t even begin to explain…they were like. Never able to get enough of me? I guess…I had a hard time keeping up with them. But bro, it was addictive…we saw the first one all the time. It was serious. But never anything more than just…ya know.” He explained quickly, chugging his now watered-down drink.
You glanced to the sound booth again, finding Jake and Josh still concentrating on what they were doing.
“Ok, well, get this shit. A few days ago, Elle found a racy as fuck photo that I’d taken of Y/N giving me…” you gestured to your crotch get the point across. “Ya know, anyways. I was so embarrassed, humiliated that she found it…but dude, she liked it. Told me to keep it. Thought it was hot.”
Daniel’s eyes widened at your words. “What?! She liked it?”
“Yes.” You glanced at your brothers again. “Basically said it turned her on. Said she’s always found Y/N attractive. She straight up told me she would be interested, if the chance ever presented itself.”
“Oh my fuckin’ god.” He said flatly.
“Yeah. I know. What the hell am I supposed to do with that information?” You began to whisper now. “You know how I still feel about Y/N, and now that I know my girlfriend likes her too?” You shook your head. “Bad fuckin' combo, man.”
Daniel gritted his teeth and smiled. “Maybe you should go for it, though. Give it a shot, you never know. Maybe Y/N would be willing to discuss it.”
Just then, Jake and Josh busted back through the door, catching the tail end of your conversation.
“What was that Danny?” Jake asked, taking you both by surprise.
“What was what?” He said.
“I heard you talking about something quietly and mentioned Y/N’s name.” He inquired, looking between the two of you. Daniel brought his eyes to you, silently telling you to take the conversation.
He wanted the truth? He’d get the truth.
“Well. Ok. We were talking about what Daniel had confessed to us earlier. And I told him that Elle and I had actually just had a similar conversation. She was interested in involving, someone else…”
He raised his eyebrows to you, telling you to go on. “Ok, and? Who else?”
You bit your lips together, not wanting to actually say the words out loud. You decided to make him fester a little. Payback for making you lie to Y/N.
You sipped your drink, not letting yourself say the words that were fighting their way out of your mouth. You wanted to watch him suffer a bit. Lovingly. Make his gears turn.
“Who, Samuel? Y/N?” He yelled.
You shrugged your shoulders, strumming quietly on your bass, lightly stepping around in circles. “I dunno, can’t remember.”
“You little shit. I truly fuckin’ hate you sometimes.” Jake said through his teeth. “I’ll get it out of you.”
You laughed as you crushed your can. “Maybe you will. Maybe you won’t.”
JAKE POV
After another flawless run through you found yourself settling into the old red chair in the corner of the studio watching Josh and Sam talk over a few small changes as Danny twirled his sticks across his fingers.
You tapped your fingers against the arm of the chair, head still spinning from Sam’s comment earlier. You swallowed harshly as the thoughts entered your mind, quickly pushing them aside as Josh and Sam made their way over to you.
“You all good?” Josh asks.
“Yeah, I think we are solid.” you answer.
“A few more days like today and we will be set for tour.” Sam says.
“Agreed. Hey I’m gonna run, but I’ll call you later?” Josh says, pointing towards you as he walks out the door.
You nod just as he slips out the door, Danny not too far behind him.
You stand up, and walk towards your guitar retrieving it from the stand and locking it into its case. Feeling the words start to leave your mouth you try to stop them but it's too late, “So what did you mean earlier about Elle? Did she mention Y/N?”
He snaps his head over to look at you with an all knowing grin plastered across his lips. He raises his eyebrows and shrugs, putting his bass into its travel case.
“Cut the shit…” you snap.
“What Jake? Why do you want to know so bad?” he taunts.
“Well, I walked into the tail end of a conversation about Y/N and I want to know what was said, given the topic of conversation earlier...” you reply, standing up harshly.
“Nothing Jake…Elle just said she thought Y/N was very… pretty. Always has…” he said, raising his eyebrows again.
“And what the fuck does that mean?” you ask, still confused.
“Whatever you’re thinking, is probably right.” he smiles a shit eating grin.
You rub your hand over your face and sigh, “I don’t know how I feel about that.”
He laughs, “I know how I feel about it…”
“I’m sure you fuckin’ do…” you scoff.
“I’m just sayin’... the offer could be on the table…” he says.
“No. Off the table. In fact there is no table.” you snap.
“Just think about it. I know Y/N…she’d be into it and you know that’d be fuckin’ hot...” he says, sending you a wink over his shoulder as he steps through the door.
You let out a long sigh as you grab your case and step through the door, locking it behind you. You spend most of the drive home lost in your thoughts, lost in the visuals that never entered your mind before now. Maybe Sam was right, it was kind of hot. Maybe there was a table after all.
----
Stepping through the front door of your house you are greeted with the smell of food, and a smiling face peeking around the corner. You instinctively smiled back, so happy to have your girl back after a long few weeks.
You set your case by the door and walked down the hallway to meet her in the kitchen.
“Hi my love. It smells good in here…” you say, placing a kiss on her cheek.
“It will be ready soon, I figured you would be hungry. Do you want to watch a movie? Or we can just sit at the table and talk… whatever you want.” she says.
“What do you want to do?” you ask.
“Mmmm…look at you.” she replies bashfully.
“Miss me today?” you ask with a grin.
“Miss you everyday. Miss you when you’re in the other room.” she giggles. “How was practice?”
“Actually, it went really well. We are all set as far as having the set ironed out. Vegas is coming up soon. We are definitely ready.” you confirm.
“That’s going to be so good. I can’t wait to see you play that stadium…” she says, turning to wrap her arms around your neck. “You know… I still prefer the garage days though. When you guys would just play to me on that little couch.”
“Mmm yeah… back when I couldn’t do this…” you pause, placing a kiss to her lips, “...whenever I wanted?”
“Yeah I guess you’re right. But there was something kind of fun about it. Forbidden…” she smiles.
You kiss her forehead again, and pull away from her, “I’ll go pick a movie…any requests?”
“Please not any Lord of the Rings movies again…” she grins. “Pick something good!”
“The Lord of the Rings is good!” you chirp back.
“Okay, then pick something we haven't watched five hundred and ninety nine times!” she laughs.
“Fine… ‘I will take the ring, though I do not know the way…’” you say, putting on your best accent.
As you step into the study you hear her laughing and smile to yourself, happy to be able to joke with her once again, and knowing you’ll never do anything to cause strife between the two of you ever again. Except maybe choosing the same movie for what will now be the six hundredth time.
—
Pulling the blankets up over the two of you, you pull her into your side letting her head rest on your shoulder. You reach over and turn the light out and release a sigh of relief to end the long day.
Her finger tips are tracing shapes into your chest as her feet tangle with yours under the cold sheets.
“Baby, how is Danny… I haven’t talked to him much since him and Heidi broke up…” she asks.
“Danny? He’s good I think, why?” you reply.
“I don’t know, I just… I think this was his first Valentine’s Day alone in like…a really long time. I hate to think he was sad and alone.” she says.
“Well… the way I see it, he may have been alone but I don’t think he is sad. He seems happier to be free from her. Finally coming into his own. Mentioned he has plans for something but won’t tell us what. Said we will find out soon enough. Whatever the hell that means…” you laugh.
“He is always up to something isn’t he?” she giggles.
“Actually…listen to this…Today when I got to the studio I walked in on him and Sam talking…Did you know him and Heidi were like… having sex with other people?” you ask.
“What? What do you mean, like…they were sleeping with other people when they were apart?” she says.
“No, like… when they were together, they would invite others to join them…” you say.
“Oh. Like a threesome…” she says.
“Yeah, yeah. Like a threesome.” you confirm.
“No, I didn’t know that. I would have never thought Danny would be into that kind of thing.” she says, rolling on her side and propping her head up on her elbow.
“Yeah me either, but the conversation didn’t end there. Apparently Elle told Sam she…” you trailed off.
“She what?” she urges.
“Elle is into that…kind of thing too.” you say nervously.
“Now, see that actually isn’t shocking to me. She is a cute little thing, feisty and vivacious… kind of fits her, you know?” she says.
“Um… yeah, sure I guess so…” you agree.
Your mind runs wild with the other parts of the conversation you aren’t ready to share.
“Have you ever done that?” she asks, stealing the air from your lungs.
“I haven’t. Never really had the opportunity arise.” you answer.
“But… would you…If it did?” she presses, running her foot up your leg.
You swallow harshly before answering, “I mean… with you…and like another girl? Yeah I might. Would have to be the right girl. Someone we could trust. With another guy, probably not. I don’t know…I don’t love the idea of sharing you with anyone. But…ummm what about you?” you trail off.
“Me?” she asks.
“Yeah. Have you ever…” you ask.
“No. I haven’t. Can’t say I haven’t thought about it before though. Who hasn’t thought about it at some point or another? But I am kind of with you… as long as it’s you…I wouldn’t be completely opposed to it.” she says.
Your heart is pounding rapidly in your chest as you let her words seep into your brain. Images of you and her and even…Elle together, causing your blood to rush to your groin.
You spin on your side to try to conceal your situation but you know it’s no use. She knows you better than anyone, and when you feel her hand reach out to cup you through your boxers, you lock eyes with her.
“You’re thinking about it, aren't you?” she grins.
You don’t answer immediately, just forcing a breath through your nose. “There’s more…” you confess.
“I’m listening…” she says running her fingers up your hardening length.
“Without completely saying it, Sam insinuated that Elle wants to…wants it with…you.” you admit. “That’s what I walked in on them talking about. I tried to get Sam to clarify but he was playing coy and wouldn’t tell me shit.”
“Me?” she questions.
“That’s what he said. He said she’s always ‘found you attractive’. Which…I don’t blame her. You’re fuckin’ hot. I know that to be true. But you’re also mine.” you say.
“I’ll always be yours Jake…but sometimes it’s fun to…share. Who knows you might kinda like it…” she says, planting a kiss on your cheek and rolling back to her back.
“So you… would? Do that with her?” you ask.
“Would I? Maybe. Circumstances would have to be awfully strange, and then there's you…would you even want that? Would she? What about Sam? How would he feel? I don’t know. Seems like a whole lot of trouble…but sometimes trouble can be… fun.” she says, causing your dick to grow impossibly harder.
You clear your throat, “Trouble can be fun…” you say, ending the conversation.
You let her hand rest in yours as your eyes close, the vision of two women occupying your dreams tonight.
—
HER POV
The feeling of Jake pressing into your back wakes you from your sleep. The morning sun is peeking through the curtains illuminating the dark bedroom with tiny slivers of yellow light.
His hand rests on your hip and again you feel him push himself into your back. Carefully you turn over to face him, seeing his eyes closed tight, brow furrowed and his mouth slightly parted as he breathes heavily.
As he presses forward again a barely audible groan leaves his lips and you feel the hardness against your stomach. He’s dreaming.
A smile plays across your lips and you let your hand wander down between the two of you, grasping him in your fist as you feel him push again, this time the addition of your tightening hand causing him to groan a little louder.
“Jake…” you whisper. “Jake, baby…”
His mouth closes and his eyes open slightly as his body coils back. He notices your hand wrapped around his dick and looks between the two of you before looking back at you. You raise your eyebrows to him with a smile.
“Having a good dream?” you ask.
You watch him swallow and blink a few times, as he places his hand over yours urging you to continue your movement.
“Yeah pretty good fucking dream if you ask me…” he croaks out, voice raspy and tired.
“Wanna tell me about it?” you ask, egging him on.
“You sure you want to hear it?” he asks.
You slide your hand under his boxers, now fully gripping him as you continue to drag your hand up and down his shaft. “Tell me baby.”
“I was dreaming about you.” he says rolling to his back and placing his hands behind his head.
“Yeah? What was I doing?” you ask.
“Had you bent over the bed, taking me so fucking good. Fucking perfect.” he breathes.
“Mhmm… what else?” you ask.
His eyes meet yours, “Elle… was there. You were…making out with her while I fucked you.” he said, and you felt his dick twitch at the confession.
“You want to see me makeout with Elle baby?” you ask, working him to his finish.
“I don’t know. I mean… Yeah I guess?” he answers.
“You think Elle is hot?” you press.
His eyes search yours for any shred of jealousy, but none is found. “Yeah…” he answers.
“She is hot isn’t she? Such a cute little thing. So different than me…” you encourage. “You want to fuck her Jake?”
“No. Ahhh fuck, I’m close…” he pauses trying to regain his composure. “No... I don’t. I only want you.”
“You don’t want to fuck Elle? That is surprising baby. I thought for sure…I kind of want you to.” you admit.
“No. I won’t. My dick only wants you. But…” he stops.
“But what?” you ask.
“But you can.” he says, fighting through his heavy breathing.
“I can what, baby? Tell me…” you urge.
“Touch her, kiss her, fuck her… shit I don’t care just let me watch.” He admits.
You pull the blanket back and crawl over top of him, looking him dead in the eye before letting spit leave your lips and drip down onto his tip. “I see, you want to watch me, fuck Elle…”
You sink your mouth down over him, knowing it will only be seconds before he is releasing into your throat.
“Yes…Fuck…fuck you feel so good. How could I ever want anyone else? I can’t. I fucking can’t…” he pleads.
You pull off of him just long enough to let the words leave your mouth. “You know you own me Jake. I’ll always be yours. At the end of the night it’s you, it always will be.” you say returning your mouth to his throbbing length.
“I want you to have it. I want you to do it, and I want to watch you fucking do it. Shit it would be so hot. Watch you and her together then take you home and fuck you and remind you who you belong to…” he admits, beginning to twitch into your throat. “Show you who fucking owns you…” he growls.
You swallow around his tip, and that's the final straw. He grabs your head, holding you in place as he thrusts into your throat with a harsh grunt, releasing himself fully into your mouth.
As he comes down from his high he releases you, chest still heaving with his exertion.
You crawl back up the bed to lay with him, letting him wrap his arms around you as he presses his lips to yours aggressively. “I love you. So fuckin’ bad. So bad.”
“I love you so fuckin’ bad.” you giggle.
“Coffee?” he asks, releasing his grip on you and sliding out of the bed.
You nod and you watch his bare ass walk out the bedroom door towards the kitchen. As you lay in the bed staring up at the ceiling you let your mind wander, visions of you, Elle, Jake…Wondering what it would be like if something like that did happen. Something you never knew you wanted until last night. Something that had made its way to the top of your priority list.
But as the devious thoughts began to swirl in your mind a new one entered. One you hadn’t considered until now. One that took new precedence.
One with long wavy hair, and piercing brown eyes.
Maybe it wasn’t the last time after all.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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Breath as Influence and John in the Epilogues
Breath is probably one of the better understood aspects. “What is it?” someone asks – and the whole fandom is like, “Oh, Breath is about freedom and wind and detachment.” Which I don't disagree with. But I think most people miss a key piece of it – Breath as influence.
I'm no seasoned classpector, but I am a Mage of Breath, so I feel like I have a deep and personal understanding of Breath, particularly because of how it has manifested in my life. Yeah, I know, claiming I'm an authority on the subject because of my self-imposed alignment within a fake typology system makes me sound like an asshole. But I'll have to ask you to trust me, because if I start talking about my own experiences, I'll sound like even more of an asshole.
Anyway, let's kick this off with the official description of Breath, per the Extended Zodiac:
In summary: the Breath-bound are flexible, driven, detached, and maybe a little self-centered. Also, other people tend to get caught up in their personal development, which tends to make them good leaders. But the most important thing here for the point I'm making is this:
others ... feel inspired by them.
This word, inspired, has been rolling around in my brain for the past few weeks, because of its connection to Breath. Hey, did you know that “inspire” comes from Latin spirare, meaning "breathe"? And if we include the Latin prefix in-, it becomes "breathe into."
The Breath-bound have an ability to breathe into, or inspire others. They're not aware of it – after all, they are just living their lives for themselves. But wherever they go, they are inspiring people. Or, more accurately, they are influencing people. Actually, the influence of Breath goes beyond just people. I could even get meta with it (and I will. I apologize in advance). But let's start small for now.
Tavros Nitram
So, Tavros. Page of Breath. Pretty much all of Tavros's contributions to Homestuck as a story happen as a result of someone doing something to him. Vriska paralyzes him, which kickstarts the whole FLARP cycle of revenge arc. And again when the truce is broken in Act 5 Act 2, it is because Vriska kills Tavros. If this doesn't sound like influence to you, you're right. Tavros has very little influence. He's a Page, after all, and if there's one thing I know about Pages, it's that they're weak as shit until they reach their "true potential," which is pretty much always something stupidly overpowered. Y'know, like Jake overpowering Jade's first guardian powers. That was pretty batshit, I'd say.
But Tavros's contributions don't end there. He actually does reach his true Page-y potential right at the very end of Homestuck, when he gathers an army of ghosts – honestly, probably every single ghost in the furthest ring – by just talking to them. Was this something of a punchline to a very long joke? Probably. But it is also a pretty good example of the kinds of things Breath players typically do.
On a meta level, though, this argument kind of falls apart, because... As far as I can tell, the army of ghosts doesn't really do anything. Nothing important, anyway. Lord English's defeat is pretty much entirely at the hands of John, Dave, Davepetasprite^2, and alt!Calliope in the body of Jade, as described in the Epilogues. The ghost army just isn't relevant, in the end.
But you know what is relevant? Vriska.
Half the people reading this just groaned, I can feel it. Why are we talking about Vriska, a Light player, on a post about Breath?? I hear your question and I raise you this: Why the fuck is Vriska so obsessed with Breath players???? Personally, I think it's because she has an innate sense for their passive ability to decide what's relevant.
But before we get into Vriska, let's talk about John.
John Egbert
John, Heir of Breath. The protagonist of the story. In the context of my thesis of "Breath as influence," isn't it interesting that the protagonist is a hero of Breath? And even beyond that, he's an Heir, a class typically interpreted as "becoming" their Aspect, or "inheriting" it. If you find my argument compelling, you could even say John is the influence that drives the story. Which is exactly what a protagonist does - after all, what is a story without a protagonist?
This question is actually addressed in Homestuck, kind of. At some point in Act 4, Terezi manipulates John into visiting his denizen early, which gets him killed. The story is left without its protagonist, and progress grinds to a screeching halt. Jade doesn't enter the Medium and presumably dies. The reckoning never happens. Dave and Rose are trapped in a doomed timeline. They lose contact with the trolls. For what is a world without the breeze, without air, but a place of complete standstill? The story needs John to continue. Okay, it needs Rose and Dave and Jade just as much. But it's interesting that the story makes a point of John's death being the turning point that makes this particular timeline doomed.
Okay, sorry for the wait. It’s Vriska time. Vriska's driving motivation is to be relevant. She does everything in her power to steal the spotlight, which may or may not be related to the fact that she's a Thief of Light. Again, I'm not an experienced classpecter. I only really have a surface level understanding of Light. But I'm getting off topic here.
In Act 5 Act 2, Vriska starts talking to John. Why? Well, partially because she wants to compete with Terezi, who is talking to Dave. But there's also the fact that she wants to be the force responsible for Bec Noir. And also for John reaching god tier. And everything relevant really??? She's really fucking good at being relevant, I'll give her that. Or at least presenting the illusion of relevance, but that's a big topic that I think I should save for another day. Another essay, maybe. The point here is, John has a tremendous amount of influence over Things That Happen just by existing, and Vriska knows it. Maybe she torments Tavros because she senses the same sort of potential in him, but that's probably a stretch.
In any case, this is baby shit. There's better evidence than this. Let’s talk retcon powers.
You could argue that the retcon powers are separate from John's abilities related to his classpect, and on some level you'd be right. But in a game that "knows" everything that is going to happen, I have to question if extraneous powers like this are taken into consideration when Sburb "decides" what classpect it gives a player. I feel similarly about Jade's First Guardian powers. Teleportation is a pretty space-y power, in my opinion. And definitely one that... "breaks rules," I guess. Among all the other things First Guardians get to do. Once again, I'm no classpector. But Jade getting access to First Guardian powers upon reaching God Tier strikes me as very Witch of Space-y. I feel similarly about John's retcon powers - they strike me as very Heir of Breath-y.
And not just because I view Breath as influence, though that is definitely the most obvious way the retcon powers could be interpreted as Breath-y. Even on a surface level, they're pretty Breath-y. When John first talks to Roxy, he gives a whole spiel about everything he's been to up until this point, most of which is obscured by "blah blah blah." But little phrases come through occasionally, and when he starts talking about his brand new retcon powers, he uses the phrase "UNSTUCK FROM CANON." Which sounds a lot to me like "freedom from the narrative." But maybe more telling is the fact that John's quest as an Heir of Breath requires that he use his retcon powers. Getting rid of the oil, freeing the fireflies - his quest as established at the very beginning was always intended (in universe at least; I can't speak for Hussie's intentions) to be solved by his retcon powers.
So retcon powers are at the very least Breath-adjacent. What’s that got to do with Breath as influence? I’m sure you see where I’m going with this. Retcon powers are basically the ability to do whatever the fuck you want to any point of any timeline. I’d call this influence but I’d sound silly, actually. It goes way beyond influence. It’s way less subtle. I guess you could call direct intervention like this influence at its most powerful. Well, almost. There’s one step above this that John never really taps into. Which brings us to...
The Epilogues
For better or for worse, I fucking love the Epilogues. I think Candy, on its own, is a fantastic and surreal deep dive into a mind high on depression. And as for Meat, I’m an absolute sucker for metafiction and narrative fuckery. I eat that shit right up. My favorite anime is Princess Tutu, etc., etc. This is your warning: Yes, this section will contain evidence toward my claim that Breath is influence. It also doubles as an Epilogues analysis. It kind of turns into one at the end. Sorry, but I needed to get it out of my system.
So, in case you missed it, the step above retcon powers that John never taps into is direct narrative control, like we see Dirk engaging in throughout the Meat side of the Epilogues. The fact that Dirk is revealed to be the narrator of Meat begs the question: who is narrating Candy? It’s never outright stated, but it’s probably alt!Calliope. Unlike Dirk, alt!Calliope doesn’t have an agenda, as far as we’re aware. So why is Candy so fucked up and weird? Why is everyone out of character? I know this comes as a shock, but: it’s probably John’s passive influence over the narrative.
Before the Epilogues even begin, John’s been wasting away in his house all day, every day. He’s depressed as hell. Sort of dissatisfied with how artificial and "perfect" Earth C is. Some have suggested he also feels disconnected from the post-retcon versions of his friends, and I think this holds some merit. It would explain why he feels disconnected from reality in Candy.
(Candy, 11)
Depression colors your view of reality. It darkens some parts, brightens others. People who look happy will appear so to an unsettling degree. Fucked up things will appear even more fucked up. Depression ups the contrast, if you will. And that’s pretty much what happens in Candy. Jane’s pretty bad in Meat, but she’s like a billion times worse in Candy. Jade causes some awkward moments in Meat, but she is pretty much a sex pest in Candy. The positive parallels are a bit harder to find, since Meat pretty much sucks too, but you could speculate that John perceives Rosemary to be happier together than they actually are, so they’re, like, uber happy together in Candy and raising a daughter and shit. It is John’s warped perception of reality that in turn warps it beyond recognition.
This isn’t just me theorizing, by the way. There’s pretty compelling evidence to suggest that this idea is accurate to what is happening. It’s pretty clear in a conversation between (Vriska), who has just arrived on Earth C via the black hole in the furthest ring and her descendant/clone Vriska (aka Vrissy in HS:BC). The two of them stare up at the sky, pointing out clouds and what they are shaped like, when (Vriska) has a realization.
(Candy, 37)
John’s influence over the reality is so absolute, even the clouds bend to his will. I think Vriska only notices it because she’s a new arrival to Johntown. It isn’t long before she’s absorbed into the John-ness of the timeline. And then, she goes on to say exactly what I’ve been saying this whole time. Remember earlier, when I said Vriska knew that John had an incredible amount of influence over Things That Happen?
(Candy, 37)
Yeah. That wasn’t speculation.
The last thing she says, though, that he’d be relevant even if he was dead, is actually a reference to Meat. So let’s talk about it!
As we know, Meat is narrated by Dirk. Dirk’s narrative style is a lot of fun for me, personally. He’s sassy, kind of an asshole, and has no time for bullshit. The second John puts that meat in his mouth, he gets to work, pulling the strings of his little puppet show.
(Meat, 1)
He wastes no time putting words in John’s mouth, writing him out of the story of Earth C as quickly as possible. It’s almost with a sense of urgency that he pushes John to complete his mission. Which is probably necessary, seeing as the sanctity of canon relies on him going back to tie up the loose end that is Lord English. But I think Dirk has ulterior motives. I don’t think Dirk has the ability to impose his will so overbearingly with John around, because for some reason, John’s power of passive influence prevents him from doing so. Is John more powerful than Dirk, even after his ascension to Ultimate Selfhood? Maybe. I certainly think so.
But John’s pretty gullible. He’s easily influenced. He doesn’t have the same safeguard around his own mind, for some reason. Or maybe he does, and it’s just taken Dirk this long to crack him? This is speculation at this point. Not important.
So Dirk eventually kills John. Why? Well, first of all, it’s harder to control the narrative with him around. Though I speculate that’s not very important to Dirk anymore since he fucks off to who knows where around when John comes back. I think, more likely, Dirk finds John’s influence on the narrative unsavory. I mean, just look at Candy. What an absolute disaster of a timeline. Maybe his awareness is such that he knows that letting John live will result in a similar degradation of his friends’ personalities as he knows them. I can’t really say one way or another. It’d explain why he wants John’s body on the ship with him, though. Y’know, to make sure he never gets revived. And yes, he wants him on that ship. He pretty much tells Terezi outright to captchalogue his body before convincing her to join him.
(Meat, 35)
There’s one problem, though. I don’t think John being dead even erased his influence on the narrative?
(Meat, 36)
Right there at the end:
The gentle breeze is all she can hear. It’s louder than my voice, and in some understated way, makes my case for me more persuasively.
I don’t think there’s any other way to read this than the breeze representing John. This is a literal manifestation of John’s influence. I guess it could be symbolic – like Terezi doing a “what would John do?” kind of thought process. But I dunno, Dirk doesn’t strike me as that kind of narrator. Besides... It’s a little too on the nose. Say what you will about the Epilogues, but I believe a great amount of care went into them. This certainly isn’t a throwaway line.
Conclusion
Okay, sorry. I really went off the deep end into Epilogues Analysis Land there. You may have noticed that I didn’t talk about Homestuck: Beyond Canon. That’s partly because I haven’t gotten there in my reread, but mostly because I’m not yet convinced that it has – or will have – nearly the level of plot consistency of its predecessors. We’ll see, I guess.
In any case... Breath as influence, huh? There’s probably more evidence for this hidden away somewhere. I probably could have talked about Rufioh. I didn’t want to though. I also probably could have pointed out the word inspire from the Extended Zodiac thing and called it a day, but instead I blacked out and wrote this. Weird!
If you read all, uh... *checks word count* 2.7k words of this??? Jesus fuck. If you read all this, thank you for reading. I’m open to feedback! I’d love to discuss some of this more! Especially the Epilogues stuff. I have a million thoughts. Bye!
#homestuck#homestuck epilogues#john egbert#tavros nitram#dirk strider#vriska serket#homestuck analysis#homestuck meta#classpect#classpect analysis#breath aspect#mine#will i ever write that vriska essay? the world may never know#thx yall
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‘Slow Ride’
Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x female civilian reader - Y/n is used.
The story is all in Jake’s POV.
Summary; Jake is looking for someone new, trying to find the one he wants forever. But he comes across obstacle after obstacle while trying, thinking he’ll still lose in the end. But what if he’s proven wrong?
Warnings: mentions of one slightly suggestive thought, Jake being a really shy guy behind his facade of being a cocky pilot, overall it’s Fluffy and sfw
“Hangman!! You’re unfortunately the only one with great taste in music!! So fix that damn jukebox to something that awakens this place!!”
And that was Javy ‘Coyote’ Machado howling across the Hard Deck to the one and only me, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin. Now, the only reason why the music was so dead today, was because my frienemy Bradley ‘Pussy- ehem… ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw just got his hand slammed on his dumb (a very nice truck) Bronco’s car door. So yeah, that hand of his was so swollen I thought it was his foot for a second. But no, it was still his hand, but just swollen. So I, with the pride of being known for having a great taste in music, I confidently walked towards the jukebox. Honestly, I didn’t even spare any woman that gawked at me a second of my attention, cause I was about to fuck the damn jukebox into oblivion with my greatest hits. I knew I was good looking, my eyes were brightly jaded, my skin was so well tanned after playing dog-fight football with my Dagger Squad. (My team won by the way) and my hair, can’t go wrong with that. I even beat the girls in all kinds of fashion competitions, they don’t stand a chance against me. Oh and my white t-shirt fit on me so nicely, all my workouts at 5am were showing off, and my Wranglers… yeah, about those. (I overheard Rooster tell my girl frienemy Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace that my ass looked good in these.) So yeah, I looked great and had the will power to give or deny attention to anyone. I’d get what I wanted in the end, with whoever was lucky enough to have me. Even though for the passed few months, I haven’t gone home with anyone… I grew out of one-night stands, only because I didn’t feel the same hype anymore. Before I was alright with waking up from a great night with no one next to me to prove it, but now… I craved and desired to have a beauty to wake up to and have forever. But anyways, I was now at the jukebox winking at Rooster who was having his hand nursed by Penny Benjamin, the owner of Hard Deck and the girlfriend of my boss, Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell. My full attention then went on this gorgeous piece of machinery, I caressed it’s side as I spoke to it, (yes, I was in desperate need of attention)
“Helloooo gorgeous.. so what are we playing today? Huh girl? Do we stick to 86? Slow Ride? Yup, I thought so too baby girl.”
I let my finger fall on the numbers ‘8’ then ‘6’. Soon I was waiting to hear the boring music change into the sound of Heaven’s choir in Rock. My chest puffed up and my face warmed at the first beat I heard,
‘Damnnn I could fuck this song..’
Diiiing!!!
I heard the door open, and my eyes followed it to see who had arrived, but… that’s when my heart dropped, in… adoration? The beat of the song continued to flow, as my green eyes found home on the most, mother natured, beautiful woman. God, I felt like I was going through palpitations as I watched her move in sync to the music, as if it was her own theme song. My knees were so ready to bend and hit the floor at her command, that’s just how powerful and strong her presence felt. Her skin was so unrealistically glowy, like if it was covered in the right amount of glitter. Oh! And her hair, shining in the light in its authentic shade of color made me want to run my fingers through it and feel it softness. Her bright smile was so real and graciously given to everyone, lighting up the room with every step she took. Everything on her adorning face was so perfect, I’d be damned if I put a name to it to compare it to anyone, because she was so unique and incomparable. My breath left my lungs at the sight of her goddess-sculpted body, the sundress she wore situated on her sweet curves so nicely, oh how I wished my hands could find a place on them, just to have the true word to say I was worthy to hold someone of pure ecstasy. I watched her every move, from the minute she walked in and took a deep breath at the entrance. I saw how she took each step so confidently yet slowly. How as she arrived to the bar, she helped the older man pick up his cap from the floor and return it. How she greeted Penny with utter happiness and a tight hug over the counter. Her fingers twisted her hair playfully as she went on to giggle about something Penny said, damn… if I could only hear how heavenly it most likely sounded, oh I’d want to hear it on repeat until I lost my hearing.
‘…. what a slow… gorgeous ride.. who the hell is she-‘
“Jake you’re such a freakin’ creep-“
“-SHIT!”
I jumped at the sudden voice and turned around to see the only and only Bradshaw break my moment of adoration, he was wearing a smolder but with a smirk, his brow raised high as he popped his hip at me. I clapped my sides to show my frustration,
“What the fuck Bradley-“
“What the fuck you Jake? Phoenix told me that you’ve had your damn eyes on her best friend sense she arrived.”
‘Oh shit..’
I took a swig of the beer I just stole from Bradley’s hand to drain out my thoughts as he went on to admit in a low tone,
“Listen, I know she’s hot and all-“
I choked on the beer as I corrected with a finger on his chest, poking lightly,
“No Bradshaw… she’s not hot.”
He stared at me with confusion as he whispered with a hand now on my shoulder,
“what?”
I leaned closer and confessed,
“That right there… is a goddess on this damned earth, Rooster. Hot is an understatement.”
I probably sounded like a mad man because Bradley was looking at me like I was, but then his face changed in seconds and now he was giggling like an idiot. I punched his arm lightly as I scowled at him,
“What!? Why are you giggling like a little girl Bradshaw-“
“I can’t believe the one and only Seresin has been whiplashed by that girl, of all people.”
‘Of all people? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What are you talking abo-“
“- first of all, she denies every guy, like EVERY guy. And plus, my girl Phoenix doesn’t let anyone around her… or at least anyone she thinks isn’t worthy enough for her friend. She’s a protective friend to her.”
I could feel my chest pinch a little with sadness and hopelessness, only because if Phoenix was this goddess’ protector, I wouldn’t be able to get to her. (Because I’m one of Phoenix’s greatest frienemies.)
Ughh!!! Damnit but I want her! I NEED her!! To hold her so close to me until she becomes one with me or- or like blends into me- I don’t know!!! Anything that keeps her in my reach and never let’s go. I’d kill to run up to her and kiss her blushed cheeks and intertwine my fingers with hers, get the smallest whiff of what heaven probably smells like. Man I’d make it my most important heartfelt mission, to give her complete and irrevocable happiness… she’d never have to pursue it, I’d just give it to her in any way I possibly could. If she wanted the stars or the moon, I’d find a way to hand it to her personally and wrapped up with a pretty bow. I don’t even know what her voice sounds like, ‘Slow Ride’ continues to play loudly over my head blocking it away from my desperate ears. But I’m more than 100% sure, that the minute I hear it, I won’t ever have enough of it for forever. Imagine waking up to that melody? Or being the cause of that melody? Damnnn… The things I would do to get those pretty sounds out of her… even if it was just for a moment- wait a FUCKING minute!! She’s drinks… oh my God she’s definitely a dream.
“The goddess drinks Old Fashion… man in all the years of my life I’ve never seen a woman drink an Old Fashion.. that makes her so so much more amazing-“
“HANGMAN!!”
Once again I was freaking snapped out of my trance, by the same old Rooster cock-o-doodling in my ear.
“Bro you’ve got to get a grip of yourself you drooled all over the floor-“
My instincts pulled my fingers to instantly check my lips and chin, but I found I wasn’t wet from drool, because I hadn’t drooled.
“Bradley I thought you had left-“
“-No, I hadn’t… I was trying to tell you that there will be a bonfire going on right outside of here in a few minutes… and she’s going to be there-“
My chest warmed up like it was set on fire as I gasped,
“REALLY?!”
I perked over Bradley’s broad shoulders to make sure she was still there, but he pushed me down and scolded lowly,
“Jacob. No one’s going to get her… I’ll make sure of it- I’m mean… you don’t even know if she’ll like you.. your heart will be broken.”
I pouted at Bradley’s words, he’s so fucking right.
‘I literally could be making an idiot of myself for her and she might not even see me.. well damn that sunk faster than the Titanic-‘
“Hey hey hey… don’t weary yet my pal.. there’s still a chance… you’re still in the ‘What If’ point.”
I could feel my shoulders sink a little as I looked at Bradley worriedly, man I was really taking his words personally and really needed more. So in the bliss moment of us being nice to each other (for once) I asked for more advice. (I mean he pulled off getting to date Phoenix and get her to fall head over heels for him. So he knows how to work in this kind of field of love)
“So.. what do I do then… I’ve never done this before.. you know my history with girls-“
“-Forget about them… that’s gone.”
He patted my chest lightly as he went on,
“… Just, be yourself and try not to change too much or over impress. You want someone to love or like you for who you really are. Kind of forget that they’re there, and just enjoy your night, and be that charming gentleman you are.. maybe you might pull it off.”
‘Man Rooster… you’re my platonic soulmate… we’re we married in another life? Ha! Perhaps. Hot bastard.’
I clapped Bradley’s cheek softly, showing my sincere appreciation. He winked at me and nodded before walking away. As soon as my eyes left him I was immediately looking for that goddess,
‘Come on where are you? I just need to make sure you’re still here-‘
“Hi handsome! You babyguarding the jukebox?”
Suddenly out of the blue this girl pops in front of me as she bounced on her heels, looking at me with huge blue eyes. I mean she was cute, but wait out of my league after I saw the goddess. Which her presence got me annoyed right away because she was taking time away from me as I was looking for my girl. I then realized I was blocking the jukebox and replied shortly but politely,
“Sorry, Go ahead ma’am.”
She then squeaked loudly and chuckled a little to hard as she said,
“Oh! Can’t wait to tell my friends you just called me ‘ma’am’!! Such a sweet man.”
She continued to bounce on her heels excitedly and giggle, I only smiled back as I was trying to be polite and make her not feel awful or weird about her over obnoxious behavior? I then was about to move over but her finger landed on my chest as she pushed on,
“Oh don’t move honey, you’re ok right there.”
She then began to lower her finger, and got me a little disgusted, cause I didn’t like how it felt.
‘Ok you’re pushing to far with your acrylics running down my nice white shirt.’
“Ok that’s enough there-“
“My friend said no buddy, now back off!”
‘Woah! Was that Phoenix’s voice? Where’s Bradley?’
I immediately forgot the girl was there clawing for my attention as I then averted my eyes and ears towards the door, where Bradley was trying to guide a couple of men outside, but Phoenix and the goddess were trying to get someone off of them too while sitting at the bar. He was a tall man, truck driver looking guy.
‘You better back off buddy- OH HELL NO!! Who in God’s name is that prick?! Why’s he getting close to her- OH HE WANTS TO TOUCH HER WAIST??- OH!! Oh shit… nice punch Phoenix- OH OH!! She can fight too.. she got him right in the nuts… that what he gets for trying to touch her.’
I seriously just witnessed these two women knock out this guy, he looked like those kind of men that don’t take ‘no’ for an answer and have disrespectful grabby hands. Those kind of men make me angry, I hate when they treat women like toys and hurt them, they don’t belong here in Hard Deck or anywhere.
‘I’m getting him out of here-‘
“Did you hear what I said? Or are you too busy think about me-“
I groaned lowly as I finally put out kinda straightforwardly, because this chick had not left my side yet!!
“No, I’m not. Now excuse me.”
I heard her whimper but I didn’t give a damn as I left the jukebox. And before I knew it, my hands had found this man’s collar, and I picked up his sagging body from the floor, he looked drunk and old.
‘What a pig.’
He didn’t even help himself stand up, so I began to drag him out while I sputtered out threats,
“You come in here again to hurt or bother anyone I will make sure it’s the last thing you do-“
Then this manpig tried to explain drunkenly,
“I was jus’ tryin’ ‘ave fun!!”
I glared at the guy being pulled by his collar by me,
“Yeah! Well I don’t like your version of fun!! So take it somewhere else and don’t ever come back!!”
I pushed him through the open doors and watched him fall on his face in the sand. I didn’t spare time to check if he was ok, screw him.
‘Asshole…’
“Jake! Thanks!!”
I whipped my head towards the familiar warm voice, of course, it was Penny. She was holding out a beer for me that made me head towards her. As I got closer she confessed,
“He’s been bothering us for a while now… but today he got worse-“
She lowered her voice while shaking her head disappointedly,
“Trying to touch my girls-“
Then Penny looked back at me and went on,
“But I hope your threat keeps him out. This is on the house.”
I smiled at Penny and took the cold beer,
“Thank you ma’am… if he’s ever back you let me know. I’ll deal with him first then I’ll call the cops. You have my word.”
“I do… Thanks for taking care of that as usual.”
“Of course.”
Then I noticed by the corner of my eye that a woman was right next to me, as she pushed her empty glass forwards towards Penny’s reach and kindly said,
“Thanks Penny, keep the change.”
I subtly watched the short interaction as Penny begged her to keep the $15 of change but she insisted it was a nice tip then. She turned to look at me while trying to slide off the tall stool, and nicely said,
“Excuse me.”
I quickly moved out of the way, but held my hand out without a second thought, she took it right away and helped herself off, and smiled while looking at the ground shyly,
“Thank you.”
I kept my eyes on my beer as I replied kindly,
“You’re welcome.”
She then turned around and walked off, now allowing me to see who it was, and I didn’t notice who it really was until she was already walking off,
‘NO FUCKING WAY!! Omg.. that was her… the goddess- I-I just talked- stupid how come you didn’t look at her. Spare her a glance!??-‘
“Are you going to stay for the bonfire? Mav is already setting it up, I’ll be out in 10 when we close. A few regular customers will be there alongside you pilots.”
I snapped out of my personal scolding as I looked through the window to see the sun setting and some familiar people outside with Maverick around a pile of wood. They all looked happy and relaxed… So I replied to Penny,
“Yes, I’ll be there. Do you need anything before I go?”
From under the counter she pulled out a large basket that held the contents to make s’mores, and a large box of caprisuns.
“Take these for you kids, and that should be it. You can go already, don’t worry about me-“
“-Are you sure?-“
“Jake, I’m positive… you already kicked out the guy and I’ll be fine. Rooster lent me his wooden bat from high school to protect myself. And Phoenix got me a pepper spray.”
I huffed a small laugh as she showed me her items, I felt a little more relieved.
“O-Ok… sounds great. I’ll see you in a minute.”
“You too son, go on.”
San Diego had the best weather for the evening, it wasn’t as hot anymore, and the breeze was warm like a cozy blanket. I walked down towards the bonfire that was already lit and growing little by little. There were sitting logs all around it, maybe two people fit on each, but it looked comfortable. So I made my presence known in my favorite line as I approached my buddy Javy, mostly called Coyote by me and everyone else,
“Evil be gone, Hangman’s coming!”
Coyote turned his head towards me and flashed me his biggest smile as he teased,
“More like Santa Claus, cause you brought us gifts!!”
I chuckled at his idiocy but immediately warned him as I saw his hands ready to snatch a pouch of caprisun,
“Hey! Get your damn hands out of here! Wait til we all sit down-“
Mickey aka Fanboy, one of the pilots I treated like a little brother came along at hearing my bantering and said,
“Sharing is caring Bagman! Didn’t know you packed snacks soccer mom!”
‘Ok now that’s not cool!’
I defended myself rightfully,
“Hey I got this basket from Penny, I was just helping her out-“
Of course Reuben aka Payback had to add to the tea,
“Awww he’s helping his mommy like a good ol’ boy!!”
I heard Phoenix laugh out loud as she too joined in,
“Such a golden boy Bagman- ooooo s’mores!! Hey Y/n!! They have s’mores! Your favorite!”
‘Y/n? Who’s Y/n- oh! OH! Y/n… such a beautiful name for a goddess… man she looks even better while close up- ok keep it together Bagman! Stay cool, stay you!’
My heart just about stopped beating when the presence of this goddess walked closer up to me and cheered happily like a little girl,
“Oooooo!! I haven’t had these for a minute!! Was it your idea to bring them along mister?”
I didn’t realize I was inthralled by her in silence until I felt a kick in my shin and Bradley scowling at me. I held in a groan of pain as I replied realizing she was talking to ME!
“I-I uh- no. Um Penny- it was her idea.. I just brought them o-out.”
Her eyes found mine as she smiled cutely and giggled, I guess at my mediocre response that was filled with stuttering.
“Oh ok! Well hey you’re a part of it if you brought them out right?”
I felt my cheeks grow so hot I had to look away and pretend that the package of Hershey chocolate bars was damn more interesting than her as I replied,
“Uh- Yeah! Yeah yeah.”
“Alright I’m here now!! I left a door open in case y’all needed the restroom or something.”
Rooster came close and whispered in my ear subtly,
“Yeah yeah? Seriously?”
I glared at him as everyone looked at Penny who had just arrived. I took that chance to glance at Y/n who was smiling at Penny, but kept looking back at the basket I was holding. She was eyeing the caprisuns. Instantly I grabbed the basket in a different way and used a free hand to pull one out and hand it to her,
“here-“
“Awww thanks!! I tell ya he’s such a sweet soul.”
That was the blue eyed girl who was annoyingly back, snatching away the drink I held out for Y/n. Y/n stepped back and shyly looked away, she looked sorry for even trying to reach out for the caprisun, which made me feel upset. I then saw a hand being shoved in my face as that voice squeaked,
“I’m Beverley! I’m a Baywatch girl here on this beach. I’ve seen you play with your friends before.”
‘You spy on me? Ew.’
I didn’t want to shake her hand, so I held it under the basket as if I needed to hold it with two hands as I calmly replied,
“That’s nice- Um Bradley! Want a drink?”
Bradley’s eyes found mine as he let go of Phoenix’s waist and quickly gave her a kiss on the cheek, as he saw me sending him puppy eyes of desperation, he was smart enough to know what was happening as this Beverley kept staring at me. He jogged towards me while saying,
“Sure Jake, thanks pal. Hey Beverley, uh I thought you had a party to go to, I remember you telling Nix about it-“
“Oh it’s ok!! I prefer being here with you guys!!!”
‘More like prefers to try and get the guys!!’
Phoenix then all of a sudden called her over for some reason, saying something about her having to grab some napkins at the bar, hence sending her away from me. I sighed in relief when she ran off to the Hard Deck. I knew Phoenix was a savior and had my back while she sent me a wink as she approached me whispering,
“She works for Penny, although she does a great job, she’s not a good girl. At least not for you ok?”
I nodded right away,
“Ok, thanks… for getting her off of me.”
“Anytime.”
She then went back into Bradley’s arms, leaving me alone for a minute, until I heard a soft voice ask,
“May I grab one?”
Of course it was Y/n, probably now worried to grab without asking, but I made sure she knew she could grab as much as she wanted as I smiled,
“Of course, don’t have to ask ok?”
She sent me a small smile while raising her hand to grab one, I instinctively lowered the basket so she could grab one easily.
Her doe eyes already glistened with the light of the fire hitting them, but I could swear they glowed brighter as she took it from the basket, her fingers brushing against it as she beamed,
“thank you!”
My mouth went dry for gods sake before I could respond, so I dumbly shook my head with the best smile my nervous self could offer. But she seemed to appreciate it, because she sent me a gorgeous toothy smile before working on opening her caprisun. Soon Penny walked up to me and cooed like a mother, not helping the fact that my wing buddies kept teasing me about being a ‘mommy’s boy’,
“Jake, son, you could’ve put the basket down. It’s a picnic basket so it can go on the sand. Let’s set it here in the middle so everyone can reach.”
I let out a simple ‘oh’ and listened attentively and followed her simple instructions. I then stood up to my full height and stretched a bit, while watching stupid Bradley come up to me while swaying his hips like a model and mimicking in a high pitched voice,
“Jakey, son, I want the basket here instead-“
“Bradley leave him alone or he’ll push you into the water like last time.”
‘Thanks Mavdad.’
It was nice that Maverick treated me nicely too, always being on my side when needed. He patted my shoulder before picking up a caprisun, and walking off so calmly after giving me a smile. I felt bigger than Rooster as I ‘threatened’,
“He’s right Bradshaw, so be nice to me.”
Phoenix smacked both our arms at once as she scolded,
“Hangster! Sereshaw! Whatever you two like to be called, don’t start or we’ll tie you up til midnight. Now sit down.”
Coyote put his hands on his hips as he mocked the both of us,
“Now sit down boys-“
“-Shut up Coyote. Nuh- uh, move over I’m sitting next to Bob, Rooster and Hangman can have each other tonight. I’ll take Bob.”
I watched Bob blush lightly as Phoenix ruffled his hair then bopped his nose as she situated herself next to him. He was usually very quiet (a stealth pilot in the flesh) but he was great company. A couple of times when I couldn’t sleep at night. I’d call him over to the near by cafe and we’ll literally just sit in silence and read each other’s newspapers until our coffee ran out. Or he’d do the same. Anyways. I sat down like Phoenix asked after I got my pouch. Without realizing who sat next to me, on my left, because Rooster sat on my right on a different log. I began to smell something sweet. Like cashmere woods? But with a hint of vanilla? Smelled like something you’d want to walk into after a long day, and just find comfiness in that aroma. That was until I heard the sweetest voice ask me,
“Is it ok if I sit here?”
‘Oh holy cow… there’s no way.’
“Uh..”
The words ‘Yes have a seat’ were hanging off my tongue but wouldn’t come out!! I was acting like an idiot, but before I could say anything, that DAMNED squeaky voice god forsakenly returned,
“I took this spot already sweetie! See my sweater there? You can sit next to me on the next log though?”
Y/n raised her bows slightly and sent her a small smile,
“oh, sorry. Sure.”
I frowned at seeing this chick’s sweater next to me, claiming the spot.
‘How did I not see the stupid sweater!??’
And I couldn’t move away, cause then I’d look like an ass for leaving her alone, because the rest of the spots were taken. So Beverley sat next to me, as I watched my girl walk slowly away after giving me an apologetic smile, she sat at the next log, but she was accompanied by Coyote, who made her feel welcome by patting her upper back with a small talk.
‘At least I know she’s safe with Javy… he’ll keep her safe and good company.’
I then felt vey uncomfortable, Beverley kept scooting closer to me, bumping into me quite on purposely. She giggle it off and squeak out ‘sorrys’. But I did my best to ignore her as Maverick began to tell his good old stories about his days with his pal Iceman. His best friend and Wingman. Those stories always made my heart sore with warmth, they were so real and very relatable sometimes. On the funny parts of the stories or when Penny and Mav would playfully argue back and forth about him exaggerating some parts I could hear the sweetest melody of laughter near by, and it was Y/n who would throw her head back and laugh so freely. I’d feel myself smile at such a lovely sight, she was so carefree and involved. Soon conversations were held between one another, as we enjoyed our s’mores that Penny made and passed out. (She really likes to treat everyone like her kids, and enjoys doing everything for us, like a mother would.) Y/n had gotten up with Phoenix to help her out, they were happy swaying with one another while toasting the marshmallows and listening to Bradley try to play the ukulele with a hurt hand.
‘Damn I wish I could take a picture of her and frame it above my bed-‘
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Gooooooood damnit… here we go. Be brave and short Jake.’
“No I don’t, but I’m happy without it for now. I like being alone.”
I made sure to be so damn clear. But I could see the gears turn in her head as she went on,
“Oh! That’s ok, I feel the way sometimes too, maybe we could practice dating if you like-“
“Noooo I’m fine.. haha.. yeah. Seriously.”
She sent me a small frown but then scoffed in a tone she thought sounded seductive,
“You’re just afraid of having a good girl like me around huh? Just admit it Jake.”
‘Yeahhhh no.’
I laughed it off, still trying to be nice,
“I’m not afraid of anyone, I just don’t want someone right now-“
And that’s when my words pushed to her to make a move that had me standing up, she had placed her hand on my thigh, but WAYYY up my thigh and squeezed it,
“Ok! I-I-“
Everyone looked at me shocked at worriedly, like if I was the crazy one when I abruptly stood up. Silence filled the area for a few seconds which drove me nuts right away. I then collected my thoughts for a split second as I said,
“I’ll be right back.”
I then didn’t spare anyone a glance as I darted towards the restroom, hoping I wasn’t being followed by anyone.
I took a few minutes to wash my face with cold water, and cool down. I got a little upset at the whole situation, wishing that this girl Beverley hadn’t ruined it, I had my chance with Y/n, but she took it away. Maybe now Y/n thinks that I don’t want anyone in my life, because I had said that quite out loud, and then I was stuck next to Beverley who was all over me and talking so loud and so much, acting like if we were together and stuff. I now wanted to go home, but at the same time I didn’t... I wanted to see Y/n one more time.
‘Maybe I’ll say I had too many s’mores and say goodbye. That’ll give me a chance to see her one last time-‘
Knock knock knock!
I stiffened while leaning over the sink, if it had been one of the guys they would’ve just walked in, but this person knocked, meaning it was a girl.
‘Please don’t be Beverley! please don’t be Beverley!-‘
“Hi Jake, um… it’s me Y/n. Phoenix wanted me to check on you.. are you ok?”
‘Oh! Damn an angel has arrived.’
My feet took me to the door immediately and my hands opened it right away, my breath left my lungs once again as there she stood, with a concerned look on her face.
“I- uh. Yes, I’m ok… just needed a breather. Too much s’mores you know?”
She nodded with a small huff of laughter,
“Yeah… I had like 4 already… but uh, you sure you’re ok? Phoenix thought you were a little off, And I thought the same.”
‘So you were watching me? Did you see I was in desperate need of your attention? Of your hands on me, your eyes on me? How I crave YOU?’
By then we had walked toward the bar, away from the restroom as I answered,
“Yeah, I’m ok. Thanks for…”
And the words died on my lips, as I finally focused on her, beaming in the light of the moonlight shining through the windows. I couldn’t describe it, oh god I couldn’t. If I could wake up to this everyday, I’d be a happy man forever. Satisfied to the brim, never letting go. Her height reached up to my chest, which I thought was the most adorable thing, I could embrace her and cover her with my arms, keeping her completely safe. My heart beat wildly in my chest, and I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs, she definitely took my breath away. She hadn’t said a word either, she just looked up at me, with hope and what looked like love in her eyes. And that… was when my desperation to claim her caught on, I leaned forward quickly towards her and closed my eyes. Waiting to feel-
“Oh! Jake..”
She whispered my name as she stopped me by putting a hand on my chest, her eyes now wide. I immediately regretted it and felt stupid and wrong,
‘How could I be so stupid?!’
“I’m so sorry- that was so wrong-“
“Tell me the truth.”
‘What?’
I was confused as I asked,
“Wait what?”
She kept her hand on my chest as she repeated out of breath,
“Tell me the truth, if you really want this too I’m all in.”
‘Oh heaven..’
I sighed a relief, and raised my hands to grab her face, I smiled as I felt her fit perfectly into my hold. I leaned my forehead on hers as her other hand raised on my chest, resting them there.
“Jake? It’s ok-“
“I want you.. I need you. Please I know I’ve barely heard your voice and have seen you for the first time, but this feels so right- oomph!!”
And her lips caught me off guard as they locked onto mine. Her delicate arms wrapped around my neck and pulled me flush against her. I dipped my head to kiss her deeper as I lifted her off the ground and held her tightly. This was better than checking off anything on my bucket list, she completed me. Her soft lips touched mine so lovingly and softly, though I could feel the passion in it all. If I died like this… I’d die a winning man. A cute whimper fell from her lips as I pressed harder and squeezed her hips, not getting enough of feeling her on me. I had instantly grown addicted. We made out there at the bar, passionately and freely, feeling like we were the only ones on earth. She gently pulled my hair as her other hand held my cheek, I let out a low moan which gave her entrance to slip her tongue through my lips. Once she did that, it got a bit more intense and heated, but still very nice as we held one another. But soon nature called, asking us to split apart to take a good breather in. But we didn’t separate far, keeping our cheeks pressed on one another. I could feel her warm labored breaths hit my ear, and I heard her whisper,
“Phoenix never asked me to come… I just wanted to find you.”
I awed lowly at her confession, and only held her tighter as I admitted,
“I thought I lost you.”
She hummed and pecked my temple,
“You had me the minute you helped me off the stool. Literally.”
I moved my head to look back into her eyes shocked at that fact. She smiled and nodded, while I leaned closer once again as I said before I kissed her,
“So getting to you was a slow but blissful ride then.”
She laughed through the kiss, and feeling her smile through it too, only made me fall harder for her… damn having her now was a winner, but indeed a slow ride.
#jake hangman seresin#jake hangman seresin x reader#jake seresin fluff#jake seresin#jake seresin fanfiction#jake seresin imagine#jake seresin x reader#jake hangman seresin fic#jake hangman x reader#hangman x reader#hangman angst#hangman fluff#hangman#top gun#top gun hangman#hangman imagine
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