#anyways here’s my one tumblr post for the month see you in February | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rowelvjy · 4 months

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Adding things to Lovejoy’s Wikipedia page

#90% sure at least one of those commas is in the wrong spot but oh well #I never claimed to be a grammar expert only a Lovejoy expert #anyways here’s my one tumblr post for the month see you in February #lovejoy #aromantic #wilbur soot #in my Wikipedia editor era #this one’s for the aromantics

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aeor-is-for-reccing · 4 months

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Happy Birthday, Aeor is For Reccing!

One year ago today (give or take a couple hours), we published our first rec list. To celebrate, I (Opera) have prepared some stats. A little bit like a reccing wrapped, only with a smaller budget and being less creepy about your data.

But thank you to everyone who has recced, every one who has read the reclist, everyone who has reblogged, everyone who has kudosed, to @professor-rye and @theusualjasper, and everyone who helped along the way.

I'm glad we've gotten this far!

To start: We've had 685 recs, 478 fics, 210 Authors, 53 reclists and 43 themes.

Most Recced Authors: (1) Mousecookie - 25 recs (1) royalgreen - 25 recs (3) SaltCore - 21 recs (4) hanap - 15 recs (5) kmackatie - 14 recs (5) Chrome - 14 recs (5) Firefright - 14 recs (8) Mlle Kurtz - 12 recs (9) road_rhythm - 11 recs (9) MinnesotaBruja - 11 recs (9) LuckyOwlsFoot - 11 recs (9) MarsBar2019 - 11recs

Authors with the most fics recced: (1) royalgreen - 18 fics (2) SaltCore - 13 fics (2) hanap - 13 fics (4) Mousecookie - 12 fics (5) kmackatie - 10 fics (5) LuckyOwlsFoot - 10 fics (7) Firefright - 9 fics (7) Jakia - 9 fics (9) Professor_Rye - 8 fics (9) Mlle Kurtz - 8 fics

Fics recced the highest number of times: Hard Mouth and The Hole in the Stone, both recced 8 times Fic recced the most number of times for a single theme: In the Closet of Our Discretion, by Firefright for Cultural Differences (recced 4 times) Longest fic recced: Dappled Shadow and Penumbral Light by Professor_Rye (463,977) Shortest fic recced: Of Constellations and Freckles, also by Professor_Rye (100 words) First fic Recced: Stay for a Spell by Palebluedot Latest fic Recced: Uncharted Waters by EmpressofWizards

Word Cloud based on what people like about the fics:

Most common content note: Choose Not To Warn Number of Series recced: 16 Percentage of Hidden Gems that are No Longer eligible (have over 150 kudos): 48% (check them out!) Number of Images Rai has Used: 27

So what's next?

Well, the absolute next thing is that sometime this week I'm going to post the reccing spreadsheet for everyone to see - if people want to look through old recs, they should feel free to! Then there's the ideas I had from the survey a few months ago - chief among them was making it easier to import information from AO3 (you'd still be able to rec fics that can't be imported or on tumblr, I'm just trying to remove some of the hassle) I'm still doing research on the best way to make that happen, and kind of selfishly want to do it myself - but it's been a busy couple of months for me.

Speaking of which - I'm having surgery in a month! A double masectomy and reconstruction on February 19 (roughly equivalent to top surgery (masculinizing)) and February 20th (roughly equivalent to top surgery (femininzing- fat grafting)). Kind of like they're turning my chest on and off again - a ctrl-alt-deteat, if you will. Anyway, I don't want cancer, but everyone I've talked to about this has said the stomach incision is worse than the chest incision, and nobody's ever described top surgery as a walk in the park. I'm planning on doing absolutely nothing for six weeks, and @theusualjasper will be taking over during that time.

Anyway, here's to another year! Thanks to everyone who has participated or helped along the way, you're all great. Even you <3

#not a rec list #shadowgast #shadowgast recs #stats

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leslutdepointedulac · 2 months

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*crashes through your door like big bird*

🗿 give us the rundown on how you got here! which was the first vc book you ever read? what made you decide to seek out vc fandom on tumblr?

Okay, buckle up ya'll because this is a decently long story.

So I would argue it actually started waaaayy back when I was a wee child, say about 6-7ish maybe. I would see the IWTV film on TV all the time and me being obsessed with vampires, I really wanted to watch it. Idk how I knew but somehow I had the knowledge that it was a very famous vampire story with queer characters and that it was supposed to be really good, so naturally I was like "I wanna watch that!" But my parents wouldn't let me because it's an 18 and I was a child (not that this stopped me fr begging them though lmao). This happened several times throughout my childhood and each time my parents would be like "No you're too young, you can watch it when you're older."

Skip to when I was around 15 I think, and I had this friend in school whose house I went to quite often. I was round for a sleepover one time and they told me there was this film with a banging soundtrack they wanted to show me. That film was QOTD. We watched it and I thought it was pretty decent (fyi I can't stand that film now, but the soundtrack still slaps. And Akasha! Aaliyah absolutely killed it!). When I went home the next day I told my parents what I had done at my friend's house, and that we had watched QOTD and they were like "Oh, the sequal to IWTV". Now bear in mind, I'd forgotten all about IWTV by this point and then it all came back to me and I was like "Omg no way!"

However, I still didn't watch IWTV and I forgot about it all over again. Until 2 years ago. I for the life of me cannot remember how or why I suddenly remembered it at the time, but I was chilling in bed and it came to me. So I found IWTV and watched it for the first time in my life (I was 19 at this point) and lemme tell you. It was worth waiting 19 years of my life. I loved it and thought how it was insane I'd only just now seen it, but better late than never.

Then I forgot about it again lmao. Until the 3rd November 2022. I remembered (again, idk how or why) that I had heard about an IWTV TV show so I found it and watched it and I thought "huh, that was pretty good. I like this!" And so I became obsessed.

Then I decided I wanted to read the books so in December of 2022 I bought IWTV, TVL and QOTD (it's all three in one book) and I started reading the series from the very beginning. I got even more obsessed and kept buying the series until I had them all and read through the whole thing.

In February on 2023 I joined tumblr for the VC fandom, because I had seen VCblr posts on Pinterest and thought it looked fun, so naturally I joined in.

And that more or less takes us up to now really lol. I'm still here and even more obsessed than ever. My obsession is primarily on the books since I read them. I kinda moved from the show to the books but I still have a deep appreciation for the show because that's what brought me here to the fandom in the first place. (And I still love the film too.)

I also recently, in the past couple of months, made friends with a group of people here in the fandom and I'm so glad to know them and be friends with them (including you, of course @hekateinhell 💖). I've been in many fandoms before this one, but this is the first one I've been so active in and the first one I've made friends in. I love ya'll, and I love talking to you all 🥰💕💕

Anyway, it's a long story as to how I got here 😅 It's like these vampires have always been in my life in one way or another.

Sorry this was such a ramble but yeah. There's practically my whole VC life story 😂

#thank you for the ask!#vampire chronicles #tvc #ask game #ask and you will be answered

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eschergirls · 3 months

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February 2024 Update & Patron Thank You!

Hi everybody!

It's a new month, so it's time for an update and, of course, thank all our wonderful Patreon subscribers. :3

For I fixed up a LOT of posts across the DC Comics tag, though because it's so big, I still have a lot that aren't formatted correctly or have images without alt-text, but I'm slowly working my way through it. Many of the broken or lost images or images deleted by Tumblr due to mistaken algorithmic flagging should be fixed though.

One of the big restoration projects was fixing up the posts that stemmed from that infamous Catwoman vol. 4 #0 cover image that led to a ton of redraws and also to DC actually changing the cover before it came out. A lot of the redraws didn't get imported when we moved the site from Tumblr, but I've managed to find them again and restore the posts (as well as adding alt-text and fixing formatting, etc).

Here's a list of the redraws, some serious, some humorous:

Catwoman as an assemblage boobs and butt by Josh Rodgers

Catwoman in a true cat pose by @rosalarian

What Catwoman would look like from the side by Cameron Stewart

Catwoman before and after animated gif redraw by @miracleisyou

As well as that post, I've also restored this post featuring Pagan from Batman #479 looking terrifying in two different poses, and a pretty good redraw of the cover by Glitchy.

There's also another Catwoman picture (from Batman: Arkham Unhinged) inspired people to do a lot of humorous takes on it, such as Kainu's take on how she looks from various angles and this animated gif joke by le-mec which is very good. I fixed up all 3 posts, found the broken pictures, and added alt-text to everything.

And finally, two other DC posts that I found images for when they broke and reformatted & added full transcription for screen readers:

this page of Artemis from Artemis: Requiem #3 offering some... interesting ideas of gender & what Y chromosomes do

this post about All-Star Batman & Robin & it's depiction of Vicki Vale as well as the infamous script notes from Frank Miller to Jim Lee (the script notes are fully transcribed by me for screen readers too)

I've restored a lot of other posts too, but those are the main ones I wanted to highlight for those who haven't seen them before (or weren't able to see them before) and would be interested in!

And as usual, I've been working my way through the Tumblr inbox backlog (which means that like very old submissions might start to show up too... I developed a huge backlog over the years and because Tumblr's inbox works from most recent to least, it means that older stuff becomes more difficult to reach as I get more submissions). I've also been working my way through contesting all the mistaken flagging Tumblr's algorithm keeps doing (such as flagging any solid colour piece of clothing as nudity).

For those who want to follow us without using Tumblr, we have an RSS feed. (For newbies, RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication and is basically a feed you can read using an RSS reader. Simply copy and paste https://eschergirls.com/rss.xml into an RSS reader and it will keep you up to date on Escher Girls!)

Tumblr's occasional changes of policies and its random algorithmic flagging of posts and sudden removal of posts are reasons why I decided to self-host and why I am so appreciative of people helping me to keep the site up and pay for hosting, domain registration, and general site upkeep and improvements. :)

Anyway, now I want to thank everybody who supported Escher Girls on Patreon in January!

Thank you so so much to:

Cat Mara CheerfulOptimistic Chris McKenzie Em Bardon First Time Trek Greg Sepelak Ian Cameron Ken Trosaurus Kevin Carson Kim Wincen Kristoffer Illern Holmén Leak Manuel Dalton Mary Kuhner Max Schwarz Michael Mazur Miriam Pody Morgan McEvoy randomisedmongoose Rebecca Breu Ringoko Ryan Gerber Sam Mikes Sean Sea SpecialRandomCast Thomas

And thank you to everybody for reading, submitting, and just generally commenting and engaging with Escher Girls. It makes running the site so worth it, and your comments always make me smile.

Thank you all so much,

Ami

If you have any issues with the site or suggestions to improve it, please do not hesitate to contact me and let me know!

If you wish to support Escher Girls, you can subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/ami_angelwings or donate through Ko-Fi at: https://ko-fi.com/amiangelwings.

#patreon #update #note

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likesdoodling · 4 months

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It has been a while since I started digital art,

Quite a while.

So here is a 'progress over the last two years' since I gained access to a drawing tablet.

:D

This is my first ever digitally illustrated piece- compared to my latest one-

So, a little bit different.

I do think my art took quite a jump around June 2022, when I took a break from my Steve comic strip, (for obvious reasons- it was about Technoblade's polar bear so...) and decided to try practicing gesture drawing to see if it helped my general anatomy knowledge. This is before,

And this next one is after.

The most obvious change here is that I switched to using thinner lines. There is a gap of about two months between these.

This was when I realised that you could improve art by practicing it (mind-blowing I know), and then started to do just that. Some other notable jumps forward would be when I discovered the airbrush-

Well, discovered a new method of shading with it anyway.

Then after that I had a few pictures that I actually still like, despite them being pretty old at this point, the one below is actually from September of 2022-

I mean, the hands are a bit iffy, but the rest looks alright. This was when I was going through a bit of a melanie martinez phase-

This next one was from January of 2023, I'd only just gotten into bungou stray dogs via some random memes on pinterest about this weird brown haired guy who had lots of bandages and who had this running gag with wanting to die- I actually looked him up at one point, but that didn't really explain much. The main one that I remember was 'life is short, so make it shorter, shorter than chuuya~'

Which at the time was just kind of confusing,

Then I watched the show and it made perfect sense.

I'd discovered ascendance of a bookworm in like, 2021, but I hadn't really been doing fanart of it since I was mainly doing dsmp related stuff and I kind of assumed nobody would know what on earth I was referencing. Turns out tumblr has a lot more bookworm fans than I orignally anticipated. Instagram still has no clue. I think maybe one person out of my followers on instagram knows what I'm on about-

Then we've got these two which I am still proud of btw-

The first one is from a dystopian/time travel fanfic called viridian.

The second one was after I learned about rim lighting. It was inspired by a song actually, 'crash' by noevaii. (and yes I found that song from a sad-ist animatic, it was cool) The character isn't anyone in particular. They're both from February 2023.

Then there's probably my most liked picture on instagram, (not tumblr, since tumblr knows about bsd and bookworm, but y'know. This was even sadder than I originally intended since the last half of my comic strip was finished AFTER everything happened)

Then the final conclusion of my Steve comic strip in May of 2023.

I don't think my art really changed much in between those, but eh.

Then I switched to doing a bunch of ascendance of a bookworm stuff to see what would happen and turns out there are way more fellow fans out there than I anticipated-

Then I guess my next breakthrough in tumblr popularity, (even if it might not have been a breakthrough in art skills necessarily) was when things went DOWN in the bsd fandom with chapter 109 and I did probably one of my most liked tumblr posts I have ever done-

If you want to see the rest of that, feel free to scroll down on my tumblr page, the original's like eight pages long-

This was before anyone knew what was going to happen btw.

I still think it's hilarious that I put in chuuya having contacts. My reasoning being, they're on a film set,

It was a pretty interesting exercise in shading in monochrome.

Then I started a 30 day art challenge in October that I didn't get past day six of, but it was still pretty fun. This is the best one of those-

After that I spent most of my time studying for the jlpt n5, so I didn't really do that much art related stuff,

This is one of the two non-commission related pictures that I finished over the two months after I kind of gave up on the art challenge. This one's from November,

Then I finally finished an art commission I'd been working on for the three months prior, as well as studying. Here is an example of the type of pictures I was doing for that,

Then I was occupied with christmas and birthday presents for my siblings, both my little sisters are into ascendance of a bookworm- (completely my fault I am proud to say) so I was able to do stuff related to that, here's a couple of snippets, but you guys don't get the colour version hehe

And one of them has also read the entire fma manga just like I have so-

Anyway, it's been quite a progression since I resolved to master digital art in 2021.

I reckon I've come a fair way since then. I mean. My art skills in general are way better than they used to be. The last two or three years have been pretty interesting.

Also-

Just had to include this one, I'm gonna do a more detailed version but still-

I think it's funny so I'm posting it here. Even if it's not really related to art progression-

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fellow-traveller · 1 month

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This is gonna be long, so if you don't have the time to read it, it's cool, I'll summarise it like this:

I think I'm back. Kinda. Expect some blasts of Hol Horse fanart that I missed sharing here since November 2023 (if you followed my Twitter/X, you might have seen them)

Okay, I know excuses can be bad but here's mine to kinda justify my absence.

I admit that I had been feeling depressed with what's happening in P@lest1ne for the past 6 months, because I had never seen it happening in real time, in videos and interviews. 20+ years ago, anything about them came in the form of stories from actual P@lest1nians whom I had the privilege to meet during my volunteer work in school, and newspaper articles from local publishers. Our local broadcasters still chant FTRTTS whenever they talk about them. But the real-time atrocities and the aftermath really got me hard. I'm not one to shy away from real-life gore - true crime is my go-to documentary whenever I'm relaxing - but what's happening there - the injustice, the brutality, the depravity - can be too much for me to bear.

I'm not saying I'm used to it by now...I still hear my heart break with every dead and hungry child I see on my screen, but at the same time, I feel a bit more hopeful. Mainly because I believe in the P@lest1nians' faith and resilience, and I believe in mine.

Apart from world events, on a personal level, my company moved to a new building in December, about an extra 30 minutes drive away from my home, so I was almost on a blackout from online stuff back then. Didn't even touch the 1 Day 1 Hol Horse challenge (but thankfully they are done now...will share them later). The move-out was done around the end of January 2024, and then I got busy again with work in February. Work had been very hectic because everything had been disorganised since the move. Even now, we don't really have internet in the new building and had to use our phone data for that.

Wanted to get back last month, but delayed it until today because my cat was sick with cancer. My cat, little Vee, whom I had for 12 years, just passed 2 days ago, 1 day before my birthday ;-;

Anyway, all that said, I think I'm ready to be back now on tumblr. I know I missed a lot of drawings that I kinda promised myself to finish (like the Halloween Hol), and also posting the 1 Day 1 Hol Horse doodles. I missed other people's Hol Horse and HolPol fanart as well. I also have a few thoughts I wanted to share of our favourite JoJo cowboy too...

So in the next few hours, I'll be doing just that. I apologise for the massive spam that's about to come beforehand. Just note that if you cannot wait for the fanart blast, you're welcomed to dig for them on my Twitter/X.

On current notes, I'm in the middle of doing The Emperor Month Challenge. Basically, Hol Horse with the other Part 3 characters. I missed 2 days now, but I'll be catching up. This will be on until the end of this month.

For now, I won't be doing requests/art trades because I wanna start drawing for my JoJo OCs. I have been neglecting them for months.

Hopefully the depression will simmer down. The world is a mess, and I'm trying to soldier on.

Oh, and to my Muslim followers, Happy Eid-ul-Fitr. ♥

#personal #update #i miss you guys #the love for the entire equine must go on

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vendetta-if · 1 year

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February 2023 Exclusive Spicy Side Story is out 🎉

Hey guys 👋 I actually forgot to post this on Tumblr when the spicy side story went out a few days ago 😅

Well, this month’s pairing for spicy side story is Female Rin x Female MC x Female Ash—or in other word the Ash/Rin poly. It’s around 2.6K words long and is available on both Patreon and Ko-Fi.

If you guys are interested in supporting while also getting exclusive contents, please check out my Patreon and Ko-Fi pages 😄❤️ In the meantime, I’ll post a snippet of the story below the cut for those who are interested.

[Patreon] | [Ko-Fi]

* * * * *

It’s Valentine's Day and Rin has booked a dinner reservation at one of the most exclusive and fanciest restaurants in Elysium City. She booked it at around 8 PM and right now, it’s already 6 PM with no sign of Aleksandra coming home yet. Ash watches Rin carefully. She’s staring out into the cityscape beyond, seemingly unbothered, but Ash has spent enough time with her to know that’s not the case. The only sign that she’s anxious is the restless tapping of her perfectly-manicured nails on the armchair.

Ash would be lying if she says that she’s not worried in the slightest, but seeing Rin acting like this is just making her even more stressed. “Stop that,” Ash says, cutting through the silence.

“Stop what?” Rin asks innocently.

Ash groans, “You know what I mean. Sasha will be here soon, okay?” Her tone of voice is not as confident as she would like it to be. “We’ll make it to the dinner in time.”

“It’s not only about the dinner,” Rin sighs, fiddling with her hair. “What did she tell you about what she’s doing again?”

“She said she was going after some ‘troublesome people’, so she’d be busy the whole afternoon. I tried to offer to go with her but she said she can handle it and that it’s nothing serious,” Ash recounts. “Didn’t even have enough time to ask more details about who these people are before she bolted off.”

Rin hums, obviously distracted and Ash wonders whether she’s using her precognition power a bit. After around a minute of silence, she finally speaks again, “Well, I suppose Sasha will be fine. She can take care of herself in battle after all.”

Ash nods eagerly. “Yeah, Sasha’s one of the best fighters I know. Plus, with her dual-ability, not a lot of people will be able to stand in her way anyway.”

“True,” Rin assents. “I was thinking of starting to get ready myself now, but you know what… We should prepare to… help her clean up and relax instead. Two sets of hands are better than one, after all,” she continues, her voice taking on a suggestive tone as she steeples her dainty hands.

Ash leans forward in interest. “What do you have in mind?”

Rin smirks, “Glad we’re of the same thought. Here’s what I have in mind…”

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canarydarity · 5 months

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2023 Writing Round-Up

Rules: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones you’re most excited about.

I was tagged by @bidoofenergy :D thank you for the tag !!! <3

January

bright&fast [Jimmy & Tango | 1,019 words ]

ficlet based on this tumblr post

okay, FINE, i'll explore the ancient city with you—but ONLY if we hold hands the entire time we're down there!!! [Jimmy/Tango | 1,643 words]

That trip to the ancient city retrieving the diamond pants for Bigb

The Night Sky is Full of Love [Scar/Grian | 2,498 words]

Uhhhhhhhhhhh 3L finale from scars pov

Lonely Is the Long Con [Scar/Grian | 4,463 words]

'The trick to selling a good con was believing in it yourself—no one was going to fall for something they didn’t believe that you believed to be true. Scar knew this and he knew it well, but still, he was always his own toughest audience.' or, the product of my month-long last life scar breakdown :)

February

Strawberry Wine (and all the time we used to have) [Jimmy/Tango | 2,332 words]

𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘵 𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘳 or whatever it was the song said idk or, the product of my year-long strawberry wine breakdown :)

"I'm trusting you, please don't make me regret it" Dialogue prompt ask [Scar/Grian | 2,360 words]

uhhhhhhhhhhhh DL finale from scars pov

March

We Shall Prevail [Scar/Grian | 2,773 words]

Those few moments in the pond during the 3L finale from Scars pov

At Another Place in Time [Jimmy/Tango | 1,632 words]

limited life session 1 vignette Tangos pov

At Another Place in Time II [Jimmy/Tango | 1,884 words]

limited life session 2 vignette Tangos pov

April

Stay, Find, Become, Join, Soon [Pixlriffs | 2,343 words]

ES2 Pix clearing the capitals catacombs, finding the crown

May

Withering Away [Pixlriffs | 1,638 words]

ES2 ghost Pix, stuck reenacting his death

June

Sentinel Species, Chapter 1 [Jimmy Solidarity | 9,586 words]

An au with a slightly different take on the canary curse, leaning harder towards harbinger of death

July

Sentinel Species, Chapter 2 [Jimmy Solidarity | 7,000 words]

The Rest of His Life [Jimmy/Tango | 1,569 words]

mooooooooore rancher grief rehearsal <3 Jimmy mourning Tango before he's even gone

August

I was sick with covid for the entire month and had absolutely no brain function available for writing </33

September

🙌 gay baseball au 🙌 (which I...really have to start calling by its actual name: Against All Odds)

Which...I know is not finished and posted yet. But I am really proud of my progress and it's taken up a lot of my writing time so I'm including it here anyway!! plot summary snippets

October

see above^^^

November

Thus With A Kiss [Jimmy/Tango | 2,706 words]

Team Rancher Romeo and Juliet au, the balcony scene. a cliche maybe but godbless

December

personal projects mostly!

:D and that was my year!! I am really glad I was tagged in this because it was nice looking back and seeing how much I wrote! I don't think I've ever written and shared so much consistently throughout any year of my life, so it was a pleasant surprise to see what I was able to accomplish here :'))

I am (no pressure, /nf) tagging: @birrdies @liloinkoink @seasonal-writes @hitheeprithee @cillpiines if any of them would like to participate :))

#worm says #worm writes #tag game

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gurugirl · 4 months

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How many times a week do you post on Patreon? How many words per week average? I'm trying to figure out what I want to do! I want to subscribe to your Patreon but I know I have to wait til the first of the month. I have another one I joined a few months ago but they aren't posting as much as I thought they would and then realized they just wind up posting a lot of their stuff here on Tumblr anyway so I'm weighing options. I can only sub to one Patreon at a time because money 😭

Hi hon! First of all I'm so flattered you're even considering subscribing at all! Thank you!

I usually post 3 times per week. This week I posted just over 15k words on three different fics (one for poly!harry, a special patreon only blurb for the arrangement, and a special one off). I also posted a 2k word teaser for my ex boyfriend's dad fic coming soon!

So far for all of January I've posted 12 fics and over 78k words with 2 more posts coming before the end of the month (maybe another 10k words).

Here's my Patreon masterlist that everyone can look at so you can see the kind of things I'm posting, what days they're posted, and how many words each one is if you're curious about more!

Also, I just want to remind y'all, I have my Patreon set up so you can join on any day - you don't have to wait until the first of the month (the creators get to choose how they charge and I opted to do an every 30 day charge versus first of the month). If you join today you won't be charged again until February 27.

Last, please do what you think is best for you! If you like the content you're getting on the other patreon then that's great! If you want to come over to mine and check it out I'll be so grateful but do what's best for you hon. 🥰

xoxo

edited to add: and now someone has just now cancelled bc they didn't like what i was posting on patreon so there's that. now i'm gonna go spiral and cry for the rest of the day

#ask #patreon ask

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lavoixhumaine · 5 months

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i have officially posted my final fanfic for the year.

and boy howdy, it’s been a hell of a wild ride and i honestly don’t see myself quitting this anytime soon. i didn’t expect to find this kind of freedom in writing literally whatever the hell i want and finding people who appreciate it and enjoy it, but damn, it’s been so weird but fucking beautiful.

honestly, i’m trying to let go of the fact that so much has happened in the last few months because i’m really not the type who dwells on things. but i will be honest and say i am a little disappointed with myself that i was not able to finish hearts in atrophy in december as i originally planned. we still have january though, maybe february and then by march we get the real thing back so who’ll need fanfic then, yeah? pfft!

i promised some fellow bobby x athena fans i would get them through the hiatus. i don’t know if i was able to really live up to that but i hope i got to help in some small way at least. i love this ship so much and this fandom has been a dream. we’ll hold on to each other until the week of march 14, huh? we can do it!

anyway, seven stories in eight months doesn’t seem too shabby though, right?

i wanna thank everyone who took the time to sit down and read what i have to offer. i would also like to give my deepest and most heartfelt thanks to all those who left comments, kudos and took the time to write to me here on tumblr. and yes, this includes all the good things and bad things—i appreciate them all in different ways.

i am deeply, deeply grateful for the friendships i’ve been blessed with through this fixation. these fantastic, kind and generous duckies helped get me through some of the truly darkest times of my life. they probably don’t realize how much of an impact they’ve made in this oddball’s life but i hope someday they will. i wish them nothing but the absolute best and most wonderful, beautiful blessings for always.

and one last thing—

dear reader, i hope you have a lovely time ringing in the new year and you are surrounded by those who love you—whether that’s in person or online or by pigeon or snail mail. i wish you happiness, good health and comfort. remember to be kind to yourself and…breathe. see you next year 🌸

much love,

sunny 🌸

(i am taking this time to post this now because i am about to start cooking and after that, i will most likely get a little drunk—see ya’ll next year!)

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stellahikaru · 3 months

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State of The Starry Path Hotel #1 (February 9th, 2024)

Hello everyone! Stella Hikaru here! Welcome to my first Tumblr blog post! In order to hold myself accountable and document my content creation journey, I decided to make a weekly long form post on Tumblr about my path on becoming a Vtuber. Why Tumblr? Well it’s because a) I can’t afford a custom website at the moment, plus I would have to use another site to direct traffic to it anyway, b) Twitter, the main hub for Vtubers, has a character limit and I don’t want to make like 50 tweets in a row once per week, my ADHD ass can’t handle that, and c) I just want to do it on Tumblr okay? Weekly posts will be every Friday and I might do roundups at the end of the month and year (I haven’t fully decided yet). My main goal is to look back on these posts someday and see how far I’ve come in bringing up The Starry Path Hotel.

Anyway, here’s what the general format is going to be:

Mini Life Update

This is where I’m going to touch on a little bit of what’s going on in my life when I’m not running the hotel and how it impacts my content creation process.

Content Creation Progress Update

This is where I’ll post any updates about what I am up to content wise and what goals I accomplished. This could be anything from Youtube videos to updates on commissions I requested to the creation of new accounts.

This Week’s Goals

The goals that I’ll have for the week. These will be smaller, more achievable goals that will either build up to the monthly goals or be standalone

This Month’s Goals

The goals that I’ll have for the month. The weekly goals will mainly build up to these.

This Year’s Goals

These are the goals that I have for the year. These will be longer term goals that most of the weekly and monthly goals will build up to.

Final Thoughts

Basically going to be a final roundup on this week’s post and how I’m feeling about what I want to do this week.

I may add or change stuff depending on what works and what doesn’t but this is what I’m going to stick with for now. With that bit of housekeeping on the way, here’s the first week’s blog post!

Mini Life Update

I’m currently in my final semester of college and I am taking SIX classes this semester including a very time consuming capstone class plus I have to stay on top of my extracurriculars. One might say that trying to become a Vtuber was a bad idea but I’m too stubborn to give up now! We’re starting to get into the busy point of the semester and schoolwork is taking up a LOT of my time. I don’t even have time to play FFXIV anymore. ;-; Hopefully I can get the Valentine’s Day event emote though! Anyway with school taking priority, I don’t have a lot of time for Vtuber activities. So far I’m only able to stream once a week but since Twitch’s discoverability is crap and my VODs are only saved for seven days, your girl isn’t growing as much as she would like. But hopefully that changes soon!

Content Creation Progress Update

Since this is my first post, I’m going to include some stuff that I have been up to for the past few weeks. First, I have been streaming every Saturday at 2 PM EST on Twitch. You can find the link for my Twitch on the Social Media Page of my Tumblr blog. So far I have been doing coworking/chatting for part of the stream and then playing games after a couple of hours. I’ve been playing Cult of the Lamb on stream and having a lot of fun!

The next major update is that I commissioned a chibi Vtuber model! While my current model looks fine, I want to upgrade from a Vroid model. However, as a college student with basically no income, there’s no way I can spend a few thousand dollars on an updated character design and full Live2D model. So I managed to find an artist doing chibi Live2D models and commissioned them using the I don’t know when I will have it but I hopefully should be ready to reveal it in mid-March.

Now onto the goals!

This Week’s Goals

Make a VOD channel for my Twitch VODs and upload my VODs to that channel: I was on the fence of if I wanted to simply upload my Twitch VODs on my main channel or create a separate channel just for Twitch VODs and upload them there. After weighing the pros and cons of each option, I decided to make a separate channel. This week, I will make a different channel and upload all of my past VODs on there as well as any Twitch VODs going forward.

Make a Carrd for Twitter and Bluesky: While I can easily link all of my social media on Twitch, YouTube, and Tumblr, I can’t do the same for Twitter and Bluesky due to the character limit. I want to make a Carrd for myself to use for those two sites and put the links in my bio this week.

Brainstorm for YouTube videos and choose an idea for the 1st one: I’m hoping to make one YouTube video this month and this week I need to choose an idea so I can start scripting. I’m also going to brainstorm ideas that I can use for future YouTube videos this week.

This Month’s Goals

Make 1 YouTube video: I want to make YouTube content that isn’t just Twitch highlights (nothing wrong with that kind of content, I just want to make something different) so this is one of the main goals I have for myself this month! I don’t know what it will be about but I’ll post more about it in future blog posts.

Look into ways to take donations: While I am waiting to get monetized on YouTube and Twitch, I would like to have a way for people to financially support me if they choose to do so. This month, I will be comparing different sites for one time donations (i.e. PayPal, Ko-Fi) and choosing which one would suit my needs.

Continue streaming once per week and try to do guerilla streams: As I stated, I currently stream once per week on Saturdays and I want to maintain this consistency. However, I want to see if I can do some guerilla streams during the week since I will need to stream on 7 different days in a 30 day period to get Affiliate on Twitch and with my current schedule, I fall short of the requirements.

This Year’s Goals

Get monetized on YouTube: I want to eventually make money off of my content so I’m hoping to get monetized on YouTube this year. This is going to be a tall order, but I hope I can keep working towards this with my weekly and monthly goals!

Become an Affiliate on Twitch: I think this goal is a bit more achievable compared to getting monetized on YouTube but I still need to meet the requirements. I will also be working towards this with my weekly and monthly goals!

Gain 100 followers on any social media besides YouTube or Twitch: I actually am over halfway to 100 followers on Twitter as of writing this, but I still don’t get a ton of engagement on my post. In addition, most of the followers I have gotten are those annoying GFX bots and it’s a little bit disheartening. I also want to build up a following on Tumblr and Bluesky as well!

Make a community Discord server: Once I build up a community, I want to create a Discord server for people to hang out in. However, I want to wait until there is a demand for a Discord server. This goal is lower priority compared to the other goals but I hope that this does end up happening this year!

Final Thoughts

If you read through the entirety of this post, THANK YOU! Future posts will hopefully be more concise (I spent WAY too long writing this) but I am making no promises. I hope that I finish all of the goals that I set out this week! Now I gotta finish the assignment that’s due tonight that I definitely did not put off doing to write this post, haha.

If you like what you see, make sure to reblog this post and follow me! I would also appreciate it if you follow me on my other social media, especially on Twitch and YouTube! I will be streaming on Twitch tomorrow at 2 PM EST! I hope your stay was bright and your journey is filled with light!

#vtuber #black vtuber #en vtuber #indie vtuber #stella hikaru #the starry path hotel #starry eyed vtuber hotelier #am i doing tags right?

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theyseemerolling · 15 days

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Ok, this is gonna have some story.

I quit social media in October 2023. A month later, I jumped on a plane heading to Berlin, where I lived for 3 months.

During that unbearably cold period, I got back on analog photography. Only this time, I didn't have a place to post my pictures - which was fine, since Instagram's algorithm wasn't helping people to see my work anyway. But I missed having some sort of backlog where I could have it all together, and to share it with my closest friends. So that's how I ended up on Tumblr, 12 years later after my first account on this website.

Ever since I started to post here, I was mostly sharing pictures of my period living abroad. I got back to my home town, Rio, last February, and to settle back to my old routine had a bittersweet taste. The streets I knew how to walk, the view I already knew from my bedroom, the weather I wasn't used to anymore - everything felt... Odd. And I struggled to realize I was back.

This evening, I was running through my files so I could take some dust off this account (I haven't posted in here since March) and then I stumbled upon this paste called "Carnaval/Mangueira". Rio's Carnival, as you probably know, it's one of the biggest cultural events in the country. It's one of the things that reflects our heritage, our joy, our talent to celebrate despite the issues we face everyday, as citizens of our city.

Because to live in Rio is not easy. It can be dangerous, expensive, hostile. We lack structure, safety and another dozens of things that a city with a dismantled government has. But if you get lucky, you can find nice people to stick around with. You can find great food, amazing music and remarkable spots. You can find reasons to love the city.

I looked at these pictures and I remembered exactly how I felt at that moment: ecstatic with joy, a little bit drunk and wishing that moment lasted forever. In some sort, it did. Because every time I look at them, I will feel the same. And that's what to be at home feels like, I guess.

Rio de Janeiro, Brasil. Summer 2022.

#35mm #35mm film #35mm photography #35mmclub #35mmstreetphotography #rio de janeiro

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eiseryn · 5 months

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2023 Art Summary

I can't believe 2023 is almost over and it's been a whole year! These past few months have passed by in a blur and so I feel like I'm barely holding on 😭 I had a lot of time to draw in the beginning of last year but considerably less time now...

But overall, I'm really proud of my progress as an artist this year! I had more time to draw than usual so I honed some skills and worked on some things this year! You can tell from the first Lei and the last Lei I drew XD I learned how to use filters XD to blend the character into the background!

You can also see that I started the year with Nova (Feb-Apr) and then it became Lei in my fave pieces after LMAOOO. Seriously, the last 4 months just being Vail and Lei alternates is so funny to me XD. This year was truly the year of Lei. I suspect 2024 will also be the year of Lei with vis novel development XD

Going through the months:

January: First illustration of Lei back when the campaign first started. She was supposed to be a cold b*tch but uh... that did not happen. She turned out to be a soft and sweet girl, which also reflects in my later art of her. I still want to revisit girlboss Lei though cuz the shots she took in the campaign were like 😳😳😳

February: Pink Valentines Nova~ Nova is a blue girl but soft pink Nova hits differently. I think this art was cute and I love all the heart elements I put in! (Like in her eyes~)

March: Bubble tea Nova! This was my business card for the first art market I sold stickers at! <-- artist feat of the year? Otherwise didn't draw much art this month XD I was stressed out about my first art market. SOMEONE AT THE MARKET SAW THIS ART, ASKED IF IT WAS MY VTUBER MODEL, AND THEN TOLD ME I SHOULD BECOME A VTUBER. The best compliment I got about this art XD I will remember it forever.

April: Idol Nova… technically I drew it in May but shhh the sketch was done in April. I did this because I did some bday karaoke and this was the piece I got inspired to make after having so much fun there! Here is where I started learning how to use filters to help blend the character into the background!

May: Mermaid Merrow for Mermay! This is the only Mermay piece I did but it remains one of my top art pieces this year… just all the colours are so gorgeous in this one + the BG I'm proud of! I did not post it on tumblr cuz I started posting on tumblr in Aug... LOL. But anyways it's gorgeous and took me like 2-3 days.

June: Bad art month… it was between this and the Leticia sketch I made. I ended up with this one even though I don't like it as much as the sketch because it was at least a fully rendered piece with a background and everything... I don't like the face in it, but I worked hard on the hands! (One of my weaknesses) so there's that! Sometimes it's the little things you're proud of.

July: I really like this outfit I drew for Lei! It's the one I use for refs for her now XD I'm also particularly proud of this one cuz it's a fullbody and it's hard to draw fullbody pieces... But also I just think her outfit looks really good here! And I love how dead and tired her eyes look XD which is her mood by the time she got this outfit during the campaign.

August: It was really hard to pick for August because I had two really good pieces... (actually 3 it turns out) but I picked this one in the end because I think the artist composition was just really good. There are parts I don't like about it anymore, but the lighting was good! And I'm proud I drew all her friends in this too XD the pieces of her heart -- as this art piece is called.

September: Made a GIF of disappearing Vail! Not my first GIF I've made but I like how it turned out + I'm especially proud of the background XD It's not great but I put some effort into it. I could have worked on his pose a little more... but I don't have many good Sept pieces 😭

October: Spent too much effort on a meme. But really proud of the hand and lighting. Especially drawing the cyberpunk lighting cuz that's hard... Also yeah I think I spent close to an hour sketching the hand/ making the hand look decent XD So of course this piece is the one I choose. I also worked on making the BG look decent... and Vail's backview was hard... man... I spent a long time on this piece XD

November: Yandere Vail 😳😳😳 One of the hottest Vail pieces I've drawn and it's for a mafia AU Vail LMAO. I used a reference for this XD which is why the pose looks good.

December: Most recent piece! Had to finish the year with Lei cuz we started with Lei~ This one is a modern AU Lei so it can't quite compare to Lei's canon cyberpunk universe but still~ You can definitely see improvement in my art! Or so I'd like to think. I used a reference for the pose (kind of) and also used a picture for the BG. I'm going to do that a lot next year LMAO just take pics and use them as BGs XD Work smart not hard, right?

Runner-Ups

They're all from Aug + Dec LOL… my most productive art months this year XD

Aug 2: Flash piece! I didn't post this on tumblr either... but it is my former best boy from the campaign (Former b/c Vail took his place LMAO he's too sketchy now). I used a reference for his pose so it turned out pretty good in my opinion? I also like the lighting I did for him! I forgot his earrings though... and his necklace... oops... I'll fix that for the vis novel (cope) -- I do want this to be a CG you get from the vis novel XD cuz I think it looks good XD

Aug 14: Pink Neon Nights - First Vail x Lei piece 🥺😳🥺😳 I gotta admit the hand looks hella funky for Lei BUTTTT I am in love with Vail's smile here 🥺🥺🥺 His fangs and I like how I designed his hoodie~ Plus I like the pink neon lighting from the bar they're at~

Dec 21: Nova's birthday piece~ I hadn't drawn a full illustration for her since August so this piece turned out super good. For some reason her hair became more and more grey as the years passed in the way I drew her XD She's supposed to have white hair with grey tips (oxidation???) But UHMMM I think it's hard to do highlights on white hair so I've been making her hair more and more grey as time passes XD but her hair is white, guys.

Dec 22: Lei's Happy Holidays Card - TBH I don't like how her face turned out here, BUT I like her pose and the way I did her clothing folds XD and I put effort into the BG so there's lots of other elements on this piece I like~

And of course, my most popular piece this year was worm on a string Nova.

A classic TBH. She is still so sad and gorgeous in this piece XD I made it into a sticker to put on my laptop! :)

To more years of art and art improvement! ✨ To a 2024 filled with more self-indulgent OC art ✨ Happy New Year!

#my art #my oc #oc art #original character #art summary #2023 art summary #digital art #artists on tumblr #eiseryn #eiserynn #long post #2023 #year end review #to more years of art #happy new year

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seahdalune · 5 months

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Seana's 2023 art highlights

(surprisingly, not a reupload this time!)

January: i drew nothing! we're off to a great start.

February: i drew something! i love Champ even if i haven't drawn anything tf2 related since April. i think it was this piece where i decided to give Champ RED coloring. [link]

also, this is the month i made my second Moldy plush.... i wasn't very happy with this one, though. [link]

March: uhhhh. more of my tf2 ocs but i think those aren't that interesting. just go to my tf2 oc blog @brokenbrainstormbulb if you wanna see them honestly, i have an image limit to keep ffs. that said, this was around the time i got into TC2, so i drew a lot of that kind of stuff... i'm never drawing stuff for it ever again, sorry. [link]

April: look at the cool thing i drew for a fellow tf2 robot fan! now, this is the point in time where i start drawing more because of a certain interest, so look forward to all the art that'll come up here.....

May: wow, this really was my first public piece of Papa Louie art, huh. i was so proud of it when i showed it off on tumblr the first time... i don't like it as much anymore. for one, the office wall color is wrong.... i still can't believe Papa Louie was what got me out of art block, but god, i'm glad it did. i don't think i've drawn this much before, and even though the community's tiny, i'm glad to give back as much as i can. anyways, i said something like "it's so funny that people think they're either super married or divorced as hell" on the same post. i still think that, and it's defos funny as hell, but i've grown a kind of appreciation towards the ship as well. like yeah, you go girls, we love that extra slow burn with so many road bumps on the way! [link]

June: how the hell did i pump this out. this was also like a few days before i had to leave for the airport too... i don't know myself sometimes. i swear i still love Boigashipping! i just... i'm just busy with other ships okkkk [link]

July: i didn't draw anything...? i was in Bali. and i was busy selling adopt designs to draw anything substantial, oopsie! actually, i DID draw the first part of WDB... it's uh, still the only part. i'm sorry!!!! i'm sorry!!!! i swear i have the whole thing outlined!!! can you just give me anons about the story instead so you won't have to wonder what comes next!! [link]

August: TOSI fixation. it had not gone past it's conceptual stage, i must note. i do wish i would do something about it though. [link]

September: the art trade i did with my friend! actually, i was a few weeks late with my part, so it was supposed to be finished by August. oops. i like the textures tbh. my Chuseok drawings.... i need to draw more characters in hanbok, hee hee. [link]

October: (breaths in) ...this is the month i finally gave into the JoGotcha wantings. LOOK. ever since someone put the idea into my brain i couldn't get enough of it, and like,, nobody draws the ship anymore so i had to take matters into my own hands. this is the first ship i'm this obsessed with. i usually leave ship stuff to other people but this time that wasn't enough and i... i had to do SOMETHING, y'know? [link]

Cringetober? who's that? haha;; i stopped feeling like doing the whole list after less than a week. impressive.

November: oh look, Plushy Power League. Quinn didn't win, but i do like the thing i drew as propaganda, so whateves. the first Papa Louie character i ever drew (minus Chuck and Taylor)... did i change how i draw her? uhh. maybe? i'm not too sure. [link]

also look! the keychain drawing... i need to talk about my Gods and Monsters au again at some point. actually, since i last uploaded the image of my keychain, i revised it tons... it's kinda different now, and i defos think it looks better. this is actually the time i finally fixed the stupid display setting thing that was really messing up my coloring! [link 1] [link 2]

December: ...oops! tablet broke. and i got my 3ds back so i just didn't draw that much even after exams were over. didn't stop me from drawing though, and in fact i think i made something pretty neat with my christmas art.... even if it did come one day late. [link]

wow. that's a whole year of stuff... and that's defos a lot! i think i'm really happy with what i drew this year.... i don't know what was in my water the last few years but my art highlights felt really.... miserable? for some reason. i mean, yeah, i didn't do a lot of what i had planned (GOE ANIMATIC IM SORRY) but i can see that i've done just as much with my hands anyways, so like, who cares? plus, i always have next year... that's coming in 3 hours, oh god- so, maybe i won't be too hard on myself for not fulfilling my goals... like, i kinda glossed over it, but i did sell my designs for money, and that's like, really impressive! so many people around me buy and sell their art stuff already, so i guess i didn't really register it as something to be proud of... but doing that shit (making, and marketing) is hard!! so like, it's a wow moment for me!

anyways, i'm tired, i only came back home a few hours ago, and i need to get up again for church in a few hours.... mrphgdjd. lets stop being sentimental, and i'll see you people next year. that's a long way off! hope you don't miss me.

#dalune recap #dalune recap 2023

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mysteriousfandom--trash · 1 year

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To be honest, I don't care if said person blocks/harasses me after this post because I'm not super active but I just want to make light of the situation. And if she sees this, then hi. Go ahead. Take a screenshot and post it to your Twitter and get your "friends" to harass me. Anything you try to say will be wrong because the evidence doesn't match up to your claims. I don't care anymore. This blog is dead as hell because I rarely use it. I don't have any other social media.

I'm only making this post for a heads-up warning because I hate it when people can't let things go. This literally has been going on since October of 2022 and it needs to stop already. This all is unnecessary and stupid. I want my friend to feel safe online, not to be harassed by some adult who can't let some small issue go. It's just super ridiculous to be completely honest.

--------------------------------------------------

[EVIDENCE WILL BE INCLUDED BY MY FRIEND. THE EVIDENCE IS REAL AND THE TRUE RECIPTS ARE HERE!! Some screenshots are from my friend, and most screenshots are from me]

!!THE PERSON I'M TALKING ABOUT GOES BY SALLYEXE AND USES SHE/HER PRONOUNS SO PLEASE RESPECT IT!!

**BLOCK AND REPORT, DO NOT HARASS

Her Twitter profile is changed up now, as these are old screenshots, but these are the same person/gen

sallyexe (she/her) - text referring to her

my friend (they/them) - text referring to them

--------------------------------------------------

So, lately I've been trying to help a friend [unnamed for their own privacy] and someone else, who goes by the @ of @/sallyexe097. They have been in unnecessary conflict for months now and it's got to end.

My unnamed friend is a minor, and the sallyexe person is an adult mind you. This is important. It may not seem like it, but it is. It's kind of a big deal when an adult harasses a minor on the internet. That can't slide easily.

Yes this is only my friend's side of the story, but they are telling the truth and the evidence will help with it. It started in early(? February when these two interacted. My friend wanted to clear up some drama between the two that was occurring. Seen below:

My friend was understanding and eager to pass over it, with obvious shown signs of no aggression. So..I don't know what you mean by "they were aggressive". :/ My friend and her continued the conversation, and it ultimately lead in sallyexe being aggressive and harassing them:

For context about this, they were arguing about a ship fight. She ships one thing and my friend ships something else. Sallyexe doesn't agree with it and constantly harasses my friend and calls them names.

They even blocked each other on Twitter after that exchange. I have proof that they did in fact block each other:

Though, there are instances where she replies to my friends' private anger posts about her???

The only conclusion would be that she is spying on my friend with another Twitter account, which is not known.

This is just very weird and unnecessary. Spying on my friend isn't going to make you seem cool or anything, it just makes you look weird. Not only that, but sallyexe has gone full lengths to guilttrip people to believe her, even threatening su!c!d3 at one point:

After all this happened, I personally talked to sallyexe myself on Tumblr to try and get the situation to be dealt with. And I did succeed because she did end up apologizing to my friend on Tumblr:

However, this wouldn't be the end of it because sallyexe began posting about my friend again just a week ago for no seemingly real reason. My friend has moved on so why can't she? It's fucking ridiculous and I'm tired of it.

I've included her Twitter and Tumblr (known) accounts and here are her tiktok accounts:

first one

second one

Anyway, if you see this post and read through the whole thing, please reblog and spread it to get awareness to it. I need my friend to feel safe and for this person to stop. Thank you.

[don't mind all the sonic tags, it's just the fandom where it happened, and i at least want to get people to see this post]

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dreamboatdani · 2 months

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ok so ik that nobody's going to see this post, but idk where else to rant, and tumblr is the only place where i can embrace the gayer side of my bisexuality bc i def can't write this sort of shit on my snap or insta stories without getting dm'ed by my nosy ass friends wtf is going on- and every time i did that kinda shit, these friends of mine would ask me if i was breaking up w my bf...so i can't be bi now? damn...anyways rant incoming below

tw: hurtful names, deluluness?? idek what to put here- maybe?? jesus christ someone help me

i still can't get her off my mind. yeah, the incident was 2 months ago, and yeah we had heavy talks...in person...twice...2-3 wks spread out...and the last one not ending on a good note.

i don't think she hates me tho. if she absolutely despised me, she wouldn't allow me to take the cash out of her hands and into the register during our donut fundraiser.

but it's been far too long.

it's been 2 months since i last talked to her. even though the donut fundraiser was in february, that doesn't count as talking.

it's march, for christ's sake. how much more time do you need?

and if we don't talk soon, it's not going to end well. bc im going to be spending my next 2 years of high school w her, since we're in orchestra together.

and especially since i'm friends w a bunch of her friends.

there's still this nagging feeling tho...that she still likes me.

i catch her looking at me in the halls whenever i do see her, which isn't as much as it was back in dec 2023.

i miss her smiles at me in the hallway. and i'm sure she does too, bc she told those hallway moments gave her motivation to get on with her dull day.

she's such a pretty girl, and it's such a shame that all these awful things are happening to her.

it's not fair to her.

this is her first year of high school, and she does NOT deserve all this sophomore drama that she got looped into.

she's already been through so much, too much, and the last thing she needs is for some older kid to call her a sl*t. this girl has not even LOST her virginity.

that older kid being someone i'm particularly close with.

i get that she may need more time than me to heal, and that is perfectly okay.

but i miss her.

god, i miss her.

i just want to be friends again.

ik she won't see this, but i miss her.

--

damn that was lowk heavy

#ok dani #rant #long read #yearning?#BRO I HAVE A BF WHAT AM I DOING #this is what happens when ur running on 2~3 hrs of sleep #u rant abt random gay stuff #I DONT HAVE A CRUSH ON HER I JUST MISS HER #god this is such a hot mess #this is completely condensed too...#i cant anymore

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