re: egg discourse
i thought it was just people saying that specifically making jokes about someone being trans but not knowing it yet can be kinda invalidating and sometimes traumatic. are people actually saying you should never tell someone that they might be trans?
i dont really have a side in the debate it just feels like people are willfully misunderstanding eachother and its making my brain hurt
"making jokes about someone being trans but not knowing it yet can be kinda invalidating and sometimes traumatic"
Sure, but it also isn't for a lot of people. And, a lot of people I talk to say egg jokes helped them realize who they were. Though I do think part of this resistance to an egg joke is actually internalized transphobia at points (the idea of being compared to trans people is being treated as degrading in a lot of these people's arguments) the truth of the matter is different people need and want different things. Me making eggs jokes with my friends is not your friend group.
This is why the recurring complaint of our side is it's never egg jokes can make people uncomfortable, 'make sure your friends are cool with them before just doing them,' it's always complaining about trans women forcing cis men to be women or trans women being "transvestigators" or "similar to Christian missionaries." People who are uncomfortable with egg jokes are always projecting their discomfort onto other people, other friend groups, and portray harmless fun between friends as something abusive.
Like for example,
this is a projection. the egg jokes people are talking about happen among friends and stuff, but this person is doing a whole "never make egg jokes because people did it about me and made me feel bad" (oh woe is you, people thought you might be transgender, how disgusting to be a tranny). The majority of egg jokes are not about random ass people, it's within friend groups. And, if you don't like your friends saying them, tell them to stop. If they don't? Then stop being their friends. Also from that post
The underwater filter butchered that. I know you can't read it but I wanted to post it cuz fucking look at that. What the hell. Anyways,
This opposition to egg joke people always talk about strangers. As if we're walking up to random people on the street and making egg jokes about them. It's mostly contained to friend groups. This is just an inaccurate portrayal of what's actually being discussed, and I'm sure the op will be like "I'm talking about my experience!" but OP openly admitted that this rant was relevant to a random blogger complaining about an egg tweet a woman made about her own friend group that neither this OP or that blogger are part of. They are actually dictating how strangers are allowed to act and identify with this, not the egg jokesters.
Yeah, once and a while you get shit like "Aaron Bushnell seems transfem" which was a completely innocuous convo that no one would have seen if well known transmisogynists who accuse random trans women of pedophilia like three times a year hadn't found the post. It was a trans woman seeing herself in someone important in history, and even if someone said something inappropriate, the backlash was undeserved. Yall say embarrassing shit all the time and no one's running you off the web site for it.
I'm sorry this person and others seem to have a bad time with egg jokes (though most of the time, what they describe isn't egg jokes but that's a whole other thing), but their few experiences can not be used to determine a blanket response to something so many people actually do enjoy and find useful. I'm especially not gonna take a cis person's opinions on egg jokes seriously (since so many have seemed to gotten involved and think their opinion on this matters).
"are people actually saying you should never tell someone that they might be trans?"
Yes! That's like, the entire underlying premise of this! Like, 100% this is the backbone of every anti-egg joke argument. That's the entire concept of "egg prime directive." And, it's overwhelmingly weaponized against trying to help transfems realize themselves sooner than they would. From the aforementioned Bushnell drama, to the polls where a shit ton of transmascs voted it was ok to tell an eggy friend they might be a trans man but NOT ok to tell an eggy friend they might be a trans woman, to the newest drama where chongoblog whined about a random trans woman on twitter making egg jokes about her friend (which it was later revealed chongoblog misrepresented the tweet), the anti egg joke committee / "You can't tell anyone they're trans!!!" crew are always wielding this ideology against transfems / trans women but practically never against transmascs.
This is why it's constantly said that these posts and arguments are transmisogynistic in nature. "I'm a trans woman and I say eggs jokes are bad, so it can't be transmisogynistic you're just using that as a shield!" That's great but 1) maybe read between the lines, or read the criticisms you're clearly ignoring and maybe you'll see these people don't respect you 2) the whole "using transmisogyny as a shield" is like, classic transmisogyny at this point. We've been hearing that from anti-feminists, cryptoterfs, and trans woman hating google doc writers for a few years now and 3) you being complicit doesn't mean we gotta care about what you say.
"it just feels like people are willfully misunderstanding eachother and its making my brain hurt"
Oh, I'm sure this is absolutely the case. The problem is a bunch of transphobes are really who spurred a lot of this drama up earlier this year and instead of people thinking "oh these people have bad intentions I shouldn't boost this" they instead were like "Yeah! I don't like egg jokes!" and now we have to deal with trans women making egg jokes (normal, harmless, pro-trans and literally want to help trans people) being compared to transvestigators (a literal anti-trans hate group thing). The issue is people aren't treating us as people, and thus it gets returned in kind.
What's the answer to this? Mutual understanding that "some people need to be told they're trans," "some people don't respond well to being told who they are," "egg jokes can help people and be a fun joke for friends," and "some people are uncomfortable with egg jokes" can all coexist. But, honestly, I don't think we'll ever get there.
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For me part of it is that I've been playing since global launch, and rhine fam was part of what got me playing, and I've never seen anyone take the divorced jokes seriously even since then (in contrast to doc and kal, where like 80+% were taking it seriously for years)
you can only trust me for word because I don't want to call out anyone, but I have seen fanfictions or art pieces that seriously despicted them divorced (there's some on ao3). and if they're not divorced, they're at least exes. it's a very common headcanon, and I mean it. not saying people really believe it's canon, but at least, they want to imagine it is. as a heads up, it's not wrong, people think whatever they want! I was just bringing the point that it gave a less interesting side to her relationship to make them into bitter exes, imo. it makes it look like "Silence is mad at Saria because Saria betrayed her, and now she's acting really awful towards her, which Saria simply accepts". that's a simplification of their relationship. it's not necessarily wrong, but it's not the real message.
Silence doesn't hate Saria. she can't help being mad at her because she's mad at herself. when she looks at Saria, she sees someone who failed to protect them, and most than all, she realized that she was putting her hopes unti Saria. she's mad at herself because she is weak, because she was depending on anyone stronger than her to do the right things, and had expectations for them. she realized that Saria is just a person, so is everyone, and if she wants to achieve something, she has to do it herself.
as for Saria, she's not just accepting Silence's hate. she thinks that she deserves it, that she really failed. she's the shield If Rhine Lab, she promised that she would protect anyone, and she failed. because she pushed herself to carry this burden, because she unconsciously doesn't trust that the people she's protecting can protect themselves. Silence, Ifrit, they don't need Saria to fight for them. they need her to fight with them.
what really makes them really interesting to me is that it's when they finally open up and show their true selves, they realize that they can work together and that their flaws perfectly complete each other. Silence does not fall in love with Saria the director of Rhine Lab who is strong and hot and perfect looking, but with Saria who is a broken person who needs to love herself and be shown that she can be loved. Saria does not fall in love with Silence the weak and innocent girl who relies on her, but with Silence the woman who learned to fight for her ideals, and who saw the pain inflicted to those close to her, promising herself to never let it happen.
OK I WENT RANTY IN THERE BUT tl;dr in my personal opinion, bringing a romance in their time before Lone Trail doesn't change anything to her development, and it can be very well handled, I'm sure, but all the cases I have seen are just an excuse for spicy exes stuff "I loved you but you betrayed me" and turn their relationship into just "lovers who are still in love but misunderstanding happened", y'know
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for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again
Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee
Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.
Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.
Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg
SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.
Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be
Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,
ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.
Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at
I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.
Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao
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wait i have another rant unrelated to anything. the common... perception? trend? idek what to call it, in fandoms and media commentary communities that every antagonist in every story has to have some deep reason for why they do things, or a sad backstory or w/e, imo kills creativity, makes stories lose their focus, and can be very upsetting when done wrong
like it's okay to have purely evil villains. it's okay to make hate sinks. that doesn't make you a bad writer. characters are meant to be tools, vehicles to tell a story, and sometimes you need that tool to just be an obstacle with no real depth. sometimes the story is more about how the protagonist overcomes hardships, and in certain premises those hardships work better when depicted as other humans. and honestly, even if they can be replaced by a generic monster or some object or w/e, it's still okay to make them a person if you wanna bc it serves the same purpose at the end of the day and you don't need to excuse that choice, imo.
like ppl who tear into every story and try to find every logical fault in it - even when it's only a fault when you entirely strip the context of fiction off it, thus often making these points irrelevant to the discussion about. yknow. a fictional work - can be so boring. I'm all for dissecting stories and trying to understand the logic behind some stuff, and while i personally prefer stories where the villain does indeed have a relatable or at least understandable motive, i do think that for certain stories it just does a disservice and frankly misses the point of why the story is even being told. like sometimes the villain is some money hungry asshole bc we needed a money hungry asshole to stand in opposition to our protagonists. it's not that deep, and it doesn't need to be. you just want to read a different story, so go do that.
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Something I love is my mom's romantic relationship. Like her partner and the ways they interact are both so wholesome and amazing. So you guys are gonna unlock some lore here.
Over two years ago my dad cheated on my mom and she said their relationship was over, because that was a rule she's always had for herself, once a cheater always a cheater. After that she started dating her current partner in a long distance relationship. They are an enby who lives in Norway and the two of them met on tiktok because they both cosplay the marauders era from Harry Potter.
In the two years they've been together my mother has gone and spent several months visiting them and meeting their family twice, once for summer and once for winter. Their family loves her and regularly invites her to things even though she can't attend. They video chat pretty much daily and text constantly. They've seen eachother at their highs and lows and been there through it all. An extremely funny fact is that my mom started learning Norwegian from a 6yr old with a very specific dialect and a speech impediment, because her partners son mostly speaks Norwegian with a bit of English.
Anyways the reason I was thinking about this is that yesterday I was in a voice chat with my bsd cosplay friends and my mom was across from me talking about the paperwork for getting citizenship through marriage with her partner. And I'd said she doesn't have to be engaged for a long time before getting married, which very much confused my friends and I had to explain. So it's been on my mind lol.
I love that they've talked about the steps needed for all of us the get citizenship, and how to get my sister and I onto disability there. And they even told my mom they might get a bigger house just so we can all still live together. They also send us Norwegian candy from time to time (sending things to the US is super expensive so it's not very often). They also send all her kids presents both randomly and for birthdays and Christmas. I have a crocheted pokemon plushie from them that I absolutely adore.
But yeah despite my mom being completely done with my dad he spent a year and a half trying to "win her back" but in like a really semi toxic roundabout way that all of us could see would never work except for him. And he only this year finally moved out of the house. Divorce papers FINALLY got filed and we all know he's going to drag it out and fight for full custody just to spite her. So because of that my mom and her partner are only dating, but mom has said the moment the divorce goes through she wants to take a small trip to Norway so we can all meet them in person and she wants to propose in person. Her partners son (again he's six) insists he's planning their wedding (they've never said anything about getting married to him), and he collects rocks and shells every time they go to the beach to use as center pieces for the tables.
Another thing is that with the safety of trans people quickly fading here they've also talked about how if things get bad enough that we are in danger here, we can all go to Norway. Like they told my mom if she suddenly said hey we're getting on a plane and will be there at x time, they will get their family together to get large enough transportation and housing for us (I have 4 siblings so there's 6 of us in all).
And and and!!! They are also disabled and have been since they were a kid. They don't have the same issues my sister and I do but they do have joint problems and chronic pain just like us so its been amazing to be getting first hand advice for a lot of things. They are so amazing i can't wait to meet them in person and give them a hug honestly.
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