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#anyway yeah it went pretty well and i'm glad
eddiediaaz · 4 months
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i've just realized i haven't really talked about that with anyone for some reason?? i casually came out to my mom and step dad the other week when i was at their place (it went well) by telling them i was dating someone who's non-binary and transmasc. i've only dated cis men before so they had no clue that i'm queer/bi. then i also told my dad yesterday over the phone. and all three of them one of their very first questions was "did they have surgeries?"
like???????? why is that your first question. why are you asking what's in their pants?? not to mention how confused they were by the non-binary aspect of it all, they barely understand what being trans means. my partner's pronouns are they/them in english and il/lui (he/him) in french, which is a whole other complicated thing dskfjbdfs. they don't speak french a lot, but we do live in a predominantly french speaking area, and french is super gendered. it doesn't have a great translation for they/them (there are new words tho but not a lot of people know them yet), and my parents don't really speak english, so trying to explain all of that was confusing for them dfsklndfs
anyway, they weren't being at all judgemental tho, they were happy for me and the questions they asked me definitely came from a place of curiosity and wanting to understand. some questions were definitely not great (like the surgery questions), they didn't even realize it's not something that should be asked (they know now though). my mom really wanted to understand what non binary means. my dad was just like "whatever makes you happy", but he also already knew i was queer even tho i never came out to him because he hinted at it multiple times and i never denied it lol.
my step dad said "i don't need to understand the whole thing to respect it and be happy for you both" and that's the entire point in my opinion!!!
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deadsetobsessions · 4 months
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What Do You Have There?
A knife!
Danny plunked the butter knife in its pedestal of importance. The nice thing about having a billionaire vigilante for a... foster is the amount of money Danny was allowed to drop on his hobbies. For example, his extensive collection of souvenirs.
They're not just any old regular souvenirs. No, no, no. That would be so boring! No, these souvenirs, he obtained from the various muggings, knife fights, and various other situations he's been in ever since he was dropped ungraciously into Gotham.
The butter knife? Damian. Precocious, stabby Damian who he had startled into the stab instinct. A point of pride, really. Danny knew Damian was good at fighting! It was practically, in ghost terms, a super enthusiastic hello! Yes, the butter knife would be kept in the well lit part of the wall. Alfred had told him to stay home today to recuperate. He didn't need it, since the wound would heal in an hour or two, but he'd take staying at home any day.
A couple of hours later, well into the afternoon and right before what Danny knew to be their patrol hours, Danny had a visitor.
"Danny."
"Oh, hey, Damian! What's up?" Danny turned around to see Damian hovering awkwardly near the door.
"I am here to... check upon your wound. It is imperative that it gets proper treatment."
Ancients, Damian was exactly like those alley kids. He just ate a thesaurus instead of the drawling accent the alley kids picked up. Which meant Damian endeared himself to Danny pretty quickly. Like a little ghostling.
"Oh, I'm good. See? No blood is leaking out of the wound." Danny held up spotless bandages.
Danny watched Damian step into his haunt- his room- with a pleased hum. Damian inspected the bandages and stepped back with a sharp nod of approval. His eyes flicked to the wall that Danny was rearranging (again) and did a double take at the butter knife in the middle.
"Is that the butter knife I stabbed you with?"
"Why, yes, it is!" Danny beamed.
"Why on earth would you display that?"
"Because you stabbed me with it?"
"That makes absolutely no sense, you simpleton! When someone stabs you, stab them back!"
"That would be mean!"
Damian spluttered. Danny tugged the kid closer to the wall, cheering inwardly as Damian didn't shove him away. It might be because he was exaggeratedly wincing as he moved his "injured arm" but Danny has learned to take a win where he could find them, especially with ghosts. Not that Damian was a ghost, but he sure acted like one.
"Do you want to see my collection?"
"Your collection?"
"Yeah!" Without giving him time to answer, Danny barreled ahead. "So this is the knife you stabbed me with. Which, by the way, was an awesome show of strength and accuracy."
Damian grimaced. Danny continued blithely, secretly memorizing Damian's reactions to laugh at later.
"And this is the knife those guys stabbed me with that one time Cass found me. And this one is a bullet someone shot at me down by the docks. I think I interrupted some kind of meeting?"
Damian's jaw had a slight tick to it that would have been a baffled frown on anyone else.
"And when was this?"
"Oh, like a week ago."
"What? When did you go to the docks?!"
"At night. I couldn't sleep."
"And you went to the docks?! How did you even get there?!"
"Walked," Danny lied, like a lying liar. He floated, obviously, but none of them knew that. "Anyways, this is a law book! Someone threw it at my head!"
"Hey, guys! What're you doing?"
Danny and Damian turned around.
"Richard? Brown? What are you doing here?"
"Oh, Bruce wanted me to come back for the weekend," Dick said. Danny knew it was code for "something's going down and we need back up." Man, he still couldn't believe they didn't know he knew they were crime fighting vigilantes.
"Same!" Stephanie said. Danny was glad to see that her wounds from "cartwheeling in the manor" were healed.
"I see. Danny was showing me his collection of... objects people have used as weapons against him."
"What?!"
"Yeah!" Danny beamed, completely innocent. "Come on! I'll show you!"
With that, Danny continued to ramble. He just knew that the way Dick's and Stephanie's smiles strained would give him a good laugh for weeks to come. "And this is the glass bottle a drunk tried to shank me with in Crime Alley, and this is a knife the Red Hood himself threw at me."
Dick interrupted, face stiff. "Hood threw a knife at you?!"
"Yeah, but that was because my kids broke into his safe house and I was trying to get them to stop looting the place. And he didn't know I was a kid too, so he aimed a gun at my head. He shot at me too, but I couldn't go back to get the bullet, or else it would have joined my collection." Danny grabbed a box and shook it, metal rattling inside.
Dick smiled sweetly, Stephanie and Damian inching away from it.
"Oh, wow, I see!"
----
In his apartment, Jason shuddered. He grabbed his guns.
"Something's wrong. I just know it," he muttered to himself.
----
Danny smiled innocently as he described the horrific, near death events he got his souvenirs from.
"This is my bullet box! Man, Gotham has a lot of gun fights. I got shot so many times!" Danny complained, shaking the box like a rattling toy.
"Did you know Danny snuck out to go to the bay?" Damian snitched immediately, like a snitch.
"The Bay?! Danny! You know that's where people dump bodies, right?!" Stephanie poked him in the arm.
"Yeah, but like... I wouldn't die. And besides! I missed my friends!"
"You mean the minions you made in Crime Alley?" Steph asked. Danny pouted, eyeing the way Dick's gaze roved over his souvenirs and paling the more he realized how often Danny "got hurt."
Damian bumped a shoulder against Dick's arm. Danny returned to the conversation.
"If anything, I'm their minion." He said, remembering the times the Alley kids sent him on food runs.
"Fear Danny, the overlord of street rats."
Danny snorted. And- "Oh! Yeah, there was like a weird owl looking guy? And then they stabbed me with a finger and I kept it because woah, cool talon looking thing, right? And then they threw a bunch of those tiny knives at me? And then they just kind of vanished? Gotham is so weird."
And now, with all of them pale and stressed out of their minds, Danny swung a devastating blow called guilt trip.
"And that's the batarangs!" Three heads swung over to the line of batarangs. "Those vigilantes kept throwing them at me! One of them even hit me in the arm. Those things are sharp, man."
"Uh. Which ones?" Stephanie asked.
"Hm?" Danny hummed obliviously.
"Do you know which vigilantes?"
"Oh, it was like... the purple one. And the sword one? And like the one with the yellow insignia in the middle. And... all of them, I think? Except for signal. That guy's cool."
Stephanie and Damian had matching veiled looks of guilt. Dick shot them a sharp look. Danny decided to deal the last bit of damage to Dick.
"I'm glad you guys are way less stabby than the general Gotham public though, butter knife incident aside. At least I don't have to worry about you guys getting into danger, right? If you guys got hurt like my family did... I don't know..."
Danny smiled-squinted at them, channeling Cujo at his cutest and saddest: when he doesn't get to eat off of Danny's plate. So, pretty sad and pathetic.
"Uh, yeah." Dick said, guilt splayed all over his face. "Alfred said dinner was almost ready."
"Yes," Damian cleared his throat, looking away. "We shall partake in Pennyworth's hard work."
"Ahaha!" Stephanie laughed, nervously. "Welp, let's go bother Tim!"
Falling into step behind them, Danny grinned.
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personasintro · 7 months
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Mutual Help | #56
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 9.7k+
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⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 
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Your trip is slowly but surely coming to an end. 
Minus some bumps along the way, it's safe to say you had a great time either way. You and Jungkook have managed to talk like proper adults and it went well. But most importantly, you've made up. It is sad there's goodbyes soon to be said. You kind of wish you could stay here for at least another day.
But all of you have to go back to adult life. The weight is lifted off your chest, practically non-exist as you and Jungkook share a soft smile while all of you pack your things. Well – except Taehyung who's sitting on one of the portable chairs with sunglasses on, too hungover to help his best friend who's been complaining for the past ten minutes. 
"I take it you finally made up." Maya comes up to you, folding up a thin blanket when there's no one nearby. 
"We finally talked." you answer. 
She surely notices the relaxation behind your tone and features, causing her to smile knowingly instead of saying anything for a moment. 
"And? How did it go?" 
"Good. Great, actually. I explained myself well and we both had something to apologize for. It's not even about the apology. I think us talking is more important and even though I was pretty scared and unsure to just walk up to him and talk, I'm glad I got it off my chest." 
"Being honest is not always easy but I knew you guys would work it out. From what I heard, your friendship has always been strong." Maya grins. 
"How do you know that?" 
"Namjoon," she chuckles simply. "But that doesn't matter. Even I can confidently say it's true. And I haven't known you for too long and I solely know this just from seeing you and him, plus hearing you talk about him." 
You avert your gaze to the ground, your shy smile causing you to feel even more shy when you feel her eyes on you. 
"I'm jealous though. The sex after such an argument is gonna be amazing." 
And just like that, the air shifts and your gaze snaps toward blunt Maya who's already grinning, expecting your reaction of shock and disbelief. 
"Yeah, that's not happening." You cringe, muttering. 
"You don't want to? Wow, I mean—shit." Maya's the one who's shocked which has you snickering under your breath. She's unbelievable. 
"Not that I don't want to, but we've decided to take a break from... the sex part." 
"And whose stupid idea that was?" she exclaims, a laugh escaping from your lips the moment you see her face while she dramatically leaves her mouth open. 
"Mine." 
"That explains it." 
"Hey!" 
She laughs, letting you know she's only joking. 
"I thought it would be for the best. I can't really explain it. I just think it's time for a break."
You're not going to tell her he fucked you in the woods while you both were unable to communicate together and were pissed off at each other. While you don't find it uncomfortable to be talking with her about your sex life, there are some things that are better left between you and Jungkook only. It's not like you're embarrassed about it but it feels too personal and intimate to talk about it openly. In the end, just like you told Jungkook, you wanted it at that moment and you don't regret it happening. He was right when he said the sex was good. It always is. 
But anyway... you two hooking up surely changed a few things between you and him. You let lust control you and while you believe sex like this doesn't necessarily have to mean a bad thing, you wonder how else would you solve it if you weren't hooking up. 
It's all frustrating and it seems like there are a few things you can't answer because it's that confusing. And you don't understand them. 
It might sound all dramatic but it's nothing like that. It's no big deal. You'll continue your friendship the same way and the only difference will be sex. You can't think about it too much, knowing once your hormones get the best out of you, you're going to have a hard time accepting your own idea. 
"What about you guys? Are you ready to go back home?" 
Maya groans, tilting her head back as she nods. "Yeah, I could do another day here. Though we've got a wedding to plan." 
"Do you know what month it's gonna be?" 
"We don't. We're about to make some calls and meet up with a few people to see which place is closest to our terms. I'm excited, don't get me wrong, but it's so stressful to plan everything. We definitely want it to happen this year after having a conversation. But summer is pretty much all booked everywhere, unless we want some unaesthetic and cheap place." 
She sighs before smiling. 
"But it's okay. Joon is a huge help and he's very much involved. We're doing everything together." 
"That's great. Let me know if there's anything I can help with. I'm not sure how I'd be able to help, I know shit about weddings but just call me if there's anything I could do." 
Maya gives you an appreciative smile. "You're a sweetheart." 
With a smile on your face, you start folding a sleeping bag which you're sure belongs to Yoongi, who (surprisingly) is cleaning up the truck of his car so everything is neat and good to go. You're unaware of Maya's stare that's aimed behind you until she speaks up. 
"A stupid sweetheart if you decided not to fuck him." 
"What?" you mumble, following her eyes. 
There he is. 
Jungkook stops his task to grasp the hem of his shirt, bringing it up and dabbing the tiny droplets of sweat covering his forehead. That wouldn't be the issue if he didn't expose his abs to everyone's eyes – even though only you and Maya are staring – showing his bulky chest. Dryly gulping, you quickly turn around and nudge Maya to look away. 
She gives you a knowing look, offering you a friendly pat to your shoulder as you click your tongue in annoyance. 
They're just abs. Ones you've seen multiple times. You're fine. 
You're going to be fine.  
You still rush to pack your things, not even glancing in Jungkook's direction. Too scared to see him doing bare minimum and look absolutely hot while doing it. 
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Everything went back to normal. Well, new normal.
Yoongi acts like he hasn't spent a whole weekend with you, still patiently waiting for his lunch every day. Even on the way back home, he barely said a word and hummed quietly to his playlist. Surprisingly, you took a decent nap, catching up the lost sleep you experienced the night before. 
After four days of constantly buying Yoongi a lunch, you regret ever inviting him more and more each day. The man demands his lunch, holding you up to your deal. Are you surprised? No. Were you hoping he would leave you alone after a few days? Yes . 
The group chat is full of memes and possibly dates to hang out again, reminding you of your supposedly summer vacation. After the camping trip, you're a little bit more wary to plan something longer and serious than just a casual hangout. It's pretty stupid. One argument shouldn't hold you back from experiencing new memories with your friends. 
You and Jungkook haven't really spoken since the camping trip. You got to say a warm goodbye and ever since then, both of you have been too busy jumping back to your lives to talk. You know you're fine though. In your friends group chat, you've replied to one another a few times – mostly reacting to the memes or just to joke around. So far, there's not much change in your relationship with Jungkook. It feels pretty same and you know it's only because you haven't had the time to hang out and be alone. Is it stupid of you to say that you're a little bit nervous when that time comes? 
However, it eventually comes just when you anticipate it and you don't avoid it. This has been your idea after all. 
You and Jungkook text back and forth, this time in a separate chat without prying eyes of Jimin and Taehyung. Jungkook's days and evenings are fully packed. There's not much time to hang out typically at your or his place – which again might be dangerous and too soon for you. You're being dramatic, that's for sure. But once he comes up with a plan, for some reason you agree even if his plan is the least common place to hang out for you and him.
Stepping inside the building, you're surprisingly met with a nice scent of freshness instead of sweat and testosterone. The gym Jungkook visits is certainly popular and modern, based on the fully packed gym and its interior that has a sweat already rolling down your back. 
“This is most certainly new.” you mutter, eyes wide staring around you as Jungkook cackles, leading you toward the front desk. 
There, of course, is a young female receptionist wearing a cropped tank top with leggings as if she's the one that's about to work out. Once again, Jungkook's often visit here shows when she easily recognizes him and both drops formality, which you don't expect.
While Jungkook goes to equip your gym access after you greet each other with the receptionist, you silently standby and listen to their conversation. You're aware of Jungkook's membership here and judging by the clear sight of the receptionist recognizing and knowing him, he doesn't have to show anything to prove his identity.
“Are you interested in getting a trainer for this session?” she asks, eyes jumping between you and Jungkook. 
“No.” You and him speak at the same time.
Nodding, she clicks off a few things on the computer before she says the price for a single access which has your eyes almost falling out their sockets. You and Jungkook both pull out your wallets. Desperately trying to beat him, you're too late as he pulls out his card sooner and pays.
“I could've paid for myself.” you point out, pursing your lips in a mere annoyance. Can't lie though. Your heart surely feels lighter knowing you haven't had to pay such a price for a full hour and half of torture.
Suddenly, Jungkook's plan doesn't seem that good at all. You would very much test your willpower back at his or your place. 
“I know you could've.” he sings out annoyingly, leaving you to roll your eyes at him as he thanks the woman, leading you away. “It was my idea, I know this gym is a bit pricey and you're not exactly the type to spend money on something like this.”
“Yah!” you nudge him, met with a toothy grin as he teasingly nudges you back. “What are you saying? Maybe I'll enjoy working out. I should work on those muscles.”
You and him share a look, grinning at each other after cracking up a few moments later, knowing very well he's right and you're full of shit. Working out is not exactly your priority. You have enough exercise when working, constantly on your feet all day. Not mentioning how much you walk and sometimes rush to get Yoongi his fucking lunch. But well, that's completely on you. It's a nice reminder to never do that again. To involve him in your stupid plans. 
While Jungkook leads you to the gym equipment (you're sure he would know his way around blindfolded), you're trying your best not to stare at all those muscular and slim people around you. Damn, you're really out of place right now. They all seem to know what they're doing. 
“You wanna lift some weights?” Jungkook asks, tossing down water bottles and two towels he grabbed from home for you and him. “Wait, you did some stretching before coming here, right?”
When he's met with silence, he looks up just to see your brow raised with a frown on your lips. He sighs, disapprovingly and not very subtly shaking his head as he mutters your name.
“I got into this bizarre outfit right after I got from work!” you exclaim, pointing at yourself. 
You tried your best, alright? A simple black leggings and an oversized shirt. It's definitely not the hottest outfit you would often see on Instagram of some fitness model, or just most women who work out and want to look nice. But who cares?
“And I don't ever stretch. Nobody's got time for that.” you mutter.
Jungkook snickers, some of his hair falling and shielding his forehead as he sits down on the bench. “You should stretch every morning, regardless if you work out or not.”
He used to stretch your muscles in other ways.
Oops –intrusive thoughts!
“Alright, alright.” You roll your eyes at him which has him laughing. 
“Okay, do some basic stretching while I do some lifting.” Already seeing your disapproving face, he continues. “Trust me, you're gonna thank me later.”
“But you said you would go easy on me!”
He did say that. In fact, he doesn't plan to destroy you on your first proper work out session. And probably the last because who knows? You're unpredictable sometimes.
But instead of calming down your nerves, he lies down but not before shooting you a smirk. “When have I ever?”
He starts lifting the heavy weight, pressing his lips tightly as he occasionally groans, some of them taking you far away from the gym. Still standing there, you dryly gulp and wonder, why the fuck you haven't invited him over instead? Suddenly, it sounds way more safer than this for numerous reasons. 
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Jeon Jungkook is coming for your neck. 
All he does is the same thing he would’ve done if you weren’t here. He’s focused, checking on you to see if you’re really stretching your muscles like he has advised you from time to time. While he’s oblivious to your inner thoughts and how much you’re actually trying to ignore the way his muscles tense and flex during his workout, he makes sure to give you a stern look every time he sees you flaking. 
He would’ve been a stern trainer, that’s for sure. 
One thing about him is that he takes his job and hobbies very seriously. He doesn’t like when people fuck around — maybe that’s why he’s so opposed to take Taehyung to workout with him. You’re clear Taehyung would enjoy being here just as much as some of the female audience clearly enjoy watching Jungkook. Obviously, he would not enjoy them eyeing and salivating over him, but rather appreciate the clear attention because you know they would eye Taehyung just as much. 
But Jungkook stays focused on himself, partly focused on you while you’ve been stretching your legs for the past five minutes until Jungkook reminds you to switch and stretch other parts with breathless voice. 
Once he finishes, he sits up and takes a short break as he watches you with an amused expression, sparkles dancing in his dark brown eyes. 
“What?” you huff out. “Am I doing it wrong?” 
“No,” he laughs. “I just never thought I’d see the day of you working out.” 
Straightening up, you flip him off with a sarcastic smile which allows him to laugh even more. “Don’t sweat it. I’m not working out yet.” 
After a minute, you stop stretching feeling like you’ve done a decent job. Met with Jungkook’s gaze, you purse your lips. 
“You know… we could’ve gone to a cinema or do something instead.” 
“Complaining already?” he asks amusingly, resting his arm over his thigh as he manspreads himself. 
Are you? It definitely sounds like it and to be honest, you're not sure. You thought spending time with him just hanging out would be a great opportunity to get your friendship back to the old ways. Even though there was a thought in the back of your mind of how that was going to go when you simply imagined Jungkook's sweaty body. You've had the opportunity to see him working out at his place and even back then, you had an awful time trying not to gawk at him. 
With the never-ending thoughts, you grow more upset at yourself. Jungkook is one fine piece of man and that's definitely not how you only see him. He's much more than that. When you look at him, you see him . Not just the physically attractive side of him. Not the way those girls are still eyeing him shamelessly. 
Although, you're not complaining for a reason Jungkook might think. You're not the athletic type like him, he knows that – hell, everyone knows it around you. Or perhaps, it's the tiny bit of this reason too. This is what you wanted. 
Perhaps you made things more dramatic and serious than they have to be. Looking at Jungkook, seeing his toothy grin he sends your way while he's completely oblivious to your inner (and annoying) thoughts, some of the weight lifts off your chest. 
“Not at all.” you assure him, ignoring his knowing look but luckily, he doesn't call you out on your bluff. 
“Come on, maybe we should do some cardio now. Get you heated up a little.”
Don't worry, you already took care of it, you think as you nod with a tight smile, following him across the room. 
Jungkook sets up the treadmill for you, setting up a manageable pace for you before he joins you. 
While music hits of this year blasts through the speakers, he advises you to focus on your breathing before he informs you you're going to do a few miles. Jungkook is keeping up with you, not sticking to his usual routine and for that, you're grateful. It feels nice to do the same thing together, just being in each other's presence even though there's not much time to actually have a conversation. 
After a while, you notice the same women who were shamelessly watching Jungkook the entire time since they noticed him, join you on the treadmills. Scoffing a little under your breath, you glance at Jungkook who's too focused to even notice anything. 
As you open your mouth to comment on it in front of him, Jungkook is in his own world as he suddenly tugs his shirt over his head before he tosses it over the handrail. That's when he must sense your prominent eyes on him as he glances your way.
“Seriously?”
“It's getting hot.” he explains, shrugging as he continues totally unbothered. 
Huffing out, you tuck a strand of hair behind your hair that has managed to get out of your ponytail. “You're aware of your fanclub here, right?”
“What?” Jungkook breathes out, shooting you a confused look. “What are you talking about?”
You snicker, “There are like three women who have been eyeing you since the moment they spotted you. They even followed us here, so they could stare .” you inform him amusingly, shaking your head when you see his frowned expression. “Oh come on. Don't tell me you're not aware. It probably happens every time you come here.”
You're not dumb and neither is Jungkook. He's definitely not clueless how many female gazes he catches (sometimes even male).
“I wasn't aware of them . But yeah, it happens.” he admits almost shyly, clearing his throat.
You trace his tattooed arm with your eyes for a moment, before saying: “Has anyone hit on you while you were working out?”
“Y/N!” he exclaims, sounding almost scandalized by your blunt question. “I said focus on your breathing.”
Is Jeon Jungkook being flustered? It only spurs you on and spreads your cheeky grin even wider. “Oh, so you do get hit on.”
Jungkook huffs, “Yeah, it happens sometimes.”
Hm, sometimes. You're not sure if you believe that. 
“How fast?”
“What is this?” Jungkook laughs, “Are you interrogating me?”
“Just curious.”
You really are. You haven't experienced being at the gym with him before. It's fascinating how he behaves here. Not that he's different or something, but it is quite interesting to witness this part of his life.
He sighs when she spots your curious gaze and the cheeky grin, rolling his eyes at you before he huffs out his response. “It usually happens by now. But you're here with me, so I'm guessing that's what holds them back.”
Why is that not surprising? Instead of feeling anything negative, you find that fact amusing and it makes you chuckle. “Oh, should I leave? Give them a chance to come here?” you joke, laughing even more when you see Jungkook's glare.
“You're annoying.”
In the midst of your laughing, you notice him cracking a grin which he has tried to hide. Your body feels lighter, despite your muscles growing tired already, but the moment between you lingers. This is how it felt before. Just you and him – teasing each other. 
Turning off the treadmill sooner than you should've (after hoping you've clicked the right button), you take the small towel Jungkook has brought you and wipe your forehead. You bite back the laugh that wants to come out when you see Jungkook's suspicious stare.
“Scared I'm gonna leave?” you tease, causing him to huff out as he cuts off his run and turns off the equipment. 
“Don't you dare.” he says, wiping his own sweat as he grabs the bottle of water and takes a few gulps. 
While his head is tilted back, throat bobbing at the way he gulps, you find yourself eyeing his buffed out chest. You don't expect to see Jungkook's eyes on you as soon as you look away from the amount of naked flesh, cheeks heating up immediately as his lips curl into a smirk. 
“Stop teasing me.” he simply says, moving closer as he drapes his towel over his shoulder.
“Are you sure I'm the one that's teasing?” you ask silently, eyes flickering down to his chest again as he chuckles. 
“I always tend to take off my shirt. I promise I'm not teasing.”
You believe that. Jungkook doesn't owe you an explanation and after all, you do know very well he prefers to be as naked as possible. Looking around, you spot a few guys shirtless as well and it's not that unusual to see the extra skin here.
“Perhaps you could control yourself a little, you know, around me.” you say with a cheeky tone, pointing at his body as he plays your game, humming while nodding.
And then he does something unexpected. He brushes his thumb across your bottom lip, feeling the softness of it as it feels like he prints his fingertip to the skin he tasted many times before. “You wanted the break, remember?”
The way he drops his tone but still keeps it light and teasing causes your heartbeat to pick up its pace. Stop, stop, stop . Hearing the warnings and red lights going on in your head, you stay rooted in your spot as Jungkook drops his hand, lips twitching. 
He's not oblivious when it comes to you though. He can tell your single body language or expression from miles away. 
“Perhaps you're the one who needs to control yourself a little.” And then he's patting your shoulder in a comforting manner. 
He walks away, laughing and fully content at your speechless appearance, ushering to continue in your routine as you mindlessly follow him. But not before sending a small glare toward Jungkook's fanclub, seeing them whispering among themselves. 
Surprisingly, things go back to normal and there's no teasing happening after that. While your heart still beats a little faster than it should've – and it's definitely not from working out and following Jungkook's instructions – the lingering tension is almost not there. Jungkook is back to being serious, showing you the right way to do things when needed and you listen obediently, doing an actual good job at it. Even if he's back in your mind during all of that, you find yourself to be distracted enough to enjoy your time here. And just you and him hanging out. 
Hour and a half passes quickly. Quicker than you previously thought it would. You get separated when it's time to take a shower and change clothes. Jungkook is finished soon, waiting for you at the reception (no surprise) as he's chatting with the receptionist again. Once he sees you done, he bids a goodbye and wraps his arm around your shoulder.
“So, what are you saying? Are you gonna be my workout partner?” he teases, the two of you walking out of the building as he leads you to his parked car. 
All you can muster to do in response is to let out an awkward chuckle. “I would rather not.”
For obvious reasons. 
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Tossing the packaged food, beef burger and big fries precisely, onto the desk, you watch the bane of your existence slowly turn his chair in your direction as he makes sure you see his well amused and annoying grin. Delivering him a huge sarcastic and tight smile, you hold yourself back from wrapping your hands around his neck and choke him.
Min Yoongi has been nothing but a big menace. The worst thing is that you can't really complain because you agreed to it. 
Today, he requested to get a burger with fries for his lunch. The closest place is around twenty minutes from your workplace by a car, so you spent most of your lunchbreak getting his fucking burger, waiting for them to prepare it and then driving back. Your bank account is slowly starting to cry. Or is that you ? 
“Why thank you.” he beams sarcastically, sniffling the air around him as he leans closer to the packed meal, only spurring your annoyance for sure. 
“It's not like I had a choice.” you remind him sweetly. 
“A deal is a deal.” he sings out, the sound of you taking a deep breath causing his lips to twitch. 
You don't give him the joy of begging him, or even trying to talk him out of this. After all, he's not wrong. You like to think of it as your punishment for making a stupid decision. Overall, it wasn't that bad and for that, you're glad. Yoongi (surprisingly) got along with the guys and for what could be assumed a weak moment, he even told you he was enjoying the time there. It was certainly a weak moment on your part when you allowed yourself to cry in front of Min Yoongi. Somehow, you managed to convince him to hug you. The awkward hug makes you cringe till this day and you're sure Yoongi feels the same. However, he seemed to have his own weak moments for sure. Why else would he ever assure you that he did have a good time? Min Yoongi is not all bad, deep down you know that. 
“So how are things with your boyfriend?” He starts unpacking his meal, the scent filling the room as the office is yet to be filled with your colleagues. Most of them haven't gotten back from their lunch breaks, but that will soon change as it's supposed to end in five minutes. Unless they don't want Junho to come for their asses and spend the rest of the day listening to him complaining. 
“Good?” you ask confusingly. “Since when do you care?”
“I don't, but today has been boring as fuck.” he says simply, taking the first bite of the hamburger you paid for. You ignore the way your mouth salivates. You've managed to eat fries on your way here – something Jungkook would surely scold you for. He wouldn't approve of you eating while driving. Good thing he doesn't know. 
“I told you I'm not here for your amusement, Min.” you remind him.
“Back to last name basis? I thought we're closer than that after our weekend together.” he says loud enough for Benjamin to hear who's passing by, your cheeks flaring hot as he gives you both a weird look, luckily continuing his way toward the breakroom, you assume. 
“Our weekend? First of all, ew,” You cringe, erupting a laugh from him as his cheeks are puffed out with the hamburger. “And seriously? Do you really want rumors to start going around?”
“Nobody would believe I would go for you, relax.” he scoffs while your jaw drops to the floor. Once you collect yourself, you sit yourself on the edge of his desk.
“You did go for me once, as far as I can remember. And if I remember correctly, you did tell me my pu–”
“We don't talk about that.” he cuts you off abruptly, worth enough for you to say the words aloud when seeing his reaction as he looks flustered of you bringing it up. 
It's not like you wanted to, he didn't give you a chance.
“Me and my boyfriend are doing great though. How about you? Have you found yourself a suitable partner that is willing to keep up with your ass?” 
Yoongi chokes on his spit, trying his best for the food to stay in his mouth and that's when you know your job is done. 
“Enjoy your meal, Yoongi.” you tell him sweetly, getting off his desk and walking away with a triumphal grin. 
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The rest of your day goes smoothly, even when you haven't had a proper lunch but your latest interaction with Yoongi just brightens up your whole day. The look on his face and the little frown he made sure you see just made your day. And you made sure to let him know that. Not even Benjamin giving you a weird look very subtly could make you ruin your day.
That's how you've felt until you get inside your apartment building, knowing you have to change your clothes and freshen up before the guys come here. Taehyung is still at work and you're pretty sure so is Jimin, so you have a little bit of time before their arrival. Just as you're putting your phone back inside your purse, you lift your gaze to greet the neighbor just for you to let out an audible gasp. One that gets the attention of the very last person you've expected to see. 
In full glory, your ex-boyfriend stands a few doors away as he looks up, surely hearing you before his own eyes widen and mouth opens in surprise. 
“Y/N,” he breathes out, surprised just as much as you are.
“You've got to be kidding me.” you mutter, not dropping your eyes off Haneul. 
He hasn't changed, yet he seems different than the last time you saw him. He's sober this time for sure but that's not what you meant. At the sight of him, you're reminded of the moments you've spent together. Still shocked to see him, Haneul carefully walks closer.
“I–uh, my friend moved here. I was just visiting him, I didn't know you live here, I swear.”
The little panicked tone and expression on his face makes your features soften. The last encounter you had with him wasn't a pleasant one. You've had enough reasons to stay mad at him. And maybe a tiny part of you still is because of his own mistake. You wouldn't like to go back to it though. You've talked since then and you ended that chapter in your life. But still. Seeing him in front of you, looking panicked and careful like a lost puppy makes you feel bad for some reason. 
He has gained weight. Not lots of it but he looks… bigger and buff, though his cheekbones and jaw are more prominent.  He's wearing jeans, a simple white shirt with a patterned overshirt over it. He looks… good. Even his hair is darker and longer. That's what reminds you of the last time you've seen him. 
“It's okay,” you assure him slowly, not quite sure what to say. “I'm just surprised to see you here.”
“So am I,” he says, his features turning alarmed once again as he quickly jumps to elaborate. “I mean I'm surprised to see you here too. I really didn't know you live here.”
“It's fine.” you chuckle a little. You know how weird it must be for him too. Since the last time he assured you he wasn't stalking you, and based on his body language and expression right now, you're aware that he is actually scared of you to think otherwise. 
He's nervous. You're actually surprised that you can tell even after all these months.
“I never thought I would see you again,” he says softly. “I–do you have a minute?”
Frowning automatically, you look around and shift on your spot. He is not oblivious to your evident uncertainty and perhaps discomfort, his face saddening. 
“It won't be long. I just want to tell you something. It's been haunting me ever since… ever since the last time I saw you. I understand if you don't want to but…” he trails off, scratching his temple.
Looking back and forth between your apartment's door, you hesitate for a moment. For one, you're still shocked to see him here. To see him standing just a few feet away from you, looking at you in a total hope as he pleads with his eyes. 
Do you want him inside your place? It sounds too… intimate. Your place is private. To have him there out of all people… you're not sure how to feel about it. But one thing is sure, you definitely don't want to have this conversation in the hallway where anyone could hear you. 
“Let's take it inside, this is not a proper place to have any conversation.” you decide to say, slow with your movements as you move to tap your code and open the door. 
“Are you sure? I don't wanna overstep.”
Looking across your shoulder, you find him staring into the distance to avoid looking at your code to give you some privacy. That alone makes you feel safer because you know he wouldn't hurt you. Whatever happened back at the club… it was a mess but that shouldn't define all of him.
Still, you create a distance between you and him, still making sure he sees your hardened gaze as you invite him inside. 
“We can just talk here,” he says as soon as he closes the front door. “We don't have to go further.” He proposes.
Taking off your shoes, you cross your arms over your chest before leaning against the wall. “Okay, then talk.”
For a moment, he seems to be lost at words. But once you cock your brow at him, he shakes himself out of it and fumbles over his words. You're patient though, waiting for him to say whatever he needs to.
“I don't remember much from our last… from the last time I saw you. I mean–I do remember bits of it but I was too wasted to remember or even know what I was doing. I never reached out to you, not that I didn't want to, but I thought it's better if I didn't,”
You give him a look, raising your brow again as if to tell him that he's damn right .
“Listen, I don't wanna take any more of your time or bother you. I owe you a big apology, I shouldn't have ever cornered you like that. I was drunk and out of my mind. I still wasn't over our break-up and when I saw you–I lost it, I drank too much and I had no control over myself and for that, I'm ashamed.”
Squeezing your forearms subtly, you just stare at him before you sigh. “I was drunk too. I almost let you kiss me. And I probably would've if…” Jungkook didn't get between you two. 
 Haneul knows that, nodding understandably. 
“I never had a peace of mind after that. I was dumb and irresponsible. I still wasn't over the first love as they say.”
You stand up straight, arms still crossed. “I do hope you find your happiness.”
“Can I ask you something?” He tries, waiting for your nod. Once he gets it, he takes a breath and opens his mouth again. “How did you get over it?”
“Time,” you say as he nods, knowing that must be his answer as well. “And I had my friends too.”
Biting the inside of his cheek, he looks away as he nods. He knows who is included in your friend's circle and his very subtly annoyed reaction proves it. Jealousy is what got you into this mess in the first place. Who knows where you two would be if it weren't for the entire argument that took place during winter. 
“Um, well thank you for giving me a chance to apologize in person. I really needed that and I appreciate it.”
You nod. You could tell him that you hope he truly moved on. That he deserves happiness too and he shouldn't beat himself over his past mistakes too much. Or that you hope he matured into the right person because deep down, you know he's not bad. He had hurt you and you never expected it from him, but looking at you now, you've moved on faster than he has. He is still here, has waited for his moment to apologize again and you appreciate that. But to create more distance and avoid unnecessary affection, you stay quiet. Something tells you it's better this way. 
Perhaps you're being harsh. Or just reasonable and smart. 
Who knows.
He opens his door and you follow him, ready to say the final goodbye which doesn't necessarily mean you won't ever say hi again if you see each other in person. Knowing now that one of his friends lives here, there might be times when you see each other again. But there's no longer any connection there. You won't stay friends like you could've. You think it could only mess with his head.
Once you look up, you wonder why Haneul hasn't stepped out yet only to find Jungkook standing on the opposite side of the door, a prominent frown and glare framing his face.
“What the fuck.”
Getting in between them, you pull Jungkook inside as he spares you a short glance before his eyes don't leave Haneul's figure. You get Jungkook behind you and as Haneul gets the clue, he steps out of your place. 
“Thanks again.” he murmurs, trying not to glare too much at Jungkook who's still standing behind you. 
Giving Haneul one final nod and silent goodbye, you watch his figure retrieve as you let out a big sigh.
“What was he doing here?” Jungkook asks, breathlessly almost getting worked up at seeing Haneul here. 
It's not like you blame him. Haneul wasn't on his best behavior the last time he saw him. And before that too. 
“His friend moved here and we bumped into each other.”
“Great.” he states sarcastically, taking off his sneakers as he gives you a stern look which makes you innocently shrug before closing the door.
“He wanted to apologize.”
“And you let him inside your apartment? Jesus, Y/N.” He rubs his forehead, causing you to shrug.
“He was drunk at that time, Kook. He wouldn't hurt me.”
“You don't know that.”
“I do know that!” you argue, watching his brow raise as you retrieve a little, nibbling on your lip. 
Okay, maybe you don't know that. Haneul has proved himself to be… unexpected. But you don't think he would go far as to hurt you.
Jungkook sighs, closing his eyes as he leans his head back and stares at the ceiling for a second. He walks up to you, expression softening. “Y/N, baby,” He cups your cheek to make you look at him. You dryly gulp, having him this close to you after a long time. “We both know sometimes you can get upset and with a guy like him, you don't know how he's gonna react.” 
You do know what he means. Sometimes you can't control your mouth. But that's the last thing on your mind, not with him so close and calling you– “Baby,” You crack a grin. “We're on a break, remember?”
Jungkook huffs out a laugh, dropping his hands as you try to ignore the mere disappointment by that simple action. “Sorry.”
“I liked it.” you silently confess. 
He lifts up his gaze, mouth opening slightly before hard knocks behind you causes you to flinch. That breaks a moment as you see Taehyung's close up face on the display next to your door right after a ringbell can be heard, the system turning on the camera automatically. Jimin is behind him, nudging his head out of the camera. Snickering, you open the door as the lock unclicks and you're met with your friends face to face.
“What's up fuckers? What's the commotion about?” Taehyung cackles, tossing his sneakers off as Jimin sighs and shakes his head at evidently very active Taehyung. 
“Ignore him. He had a few drinks after work with his co-workers.”
“I was celebrating!”
“You celebrate a lot then.” Jimin mutters, ignoring Taehyung's glare before his sharp eyes stop on you two. 
“Commotion? What were you talking about?”
“We heard your voices when we got out of the elevator.” Taehyung answers you. 
“Were you listening behind the door, Kim Taehyung?” you exclaim, shooting him a disapproving look as he gasps and shakes his head, clearly offended by the suggestion. As if that couldn't happen when it comes to him. 
“We really weren't. We just heard voices because surprisingly, this fucker here was quiet the whole time on the elevator and even after we got out of it. We couldn't hear much. Taehyung is just as dramatic as always.”
“I was just joking, jesus. And who you're calling fucker?” 
You roll your eyes. “You just called us fuckers.” you point out, everyone going further down your apartment as you turn on the lights since you haven't had the chance to go fully inside. 
Taehyung just innocently shrugs. “But what's with the faces?”
“Y/N had her ex-boyfriend over.” Jungkook shrugs, your head snapping toward his direction as everyone in the room gasps. 
Jimin and Taehyung stare at you as if you were caught in a lie, their mouths open as their asses drop down onto your couch at the same time. The scenario is funny and you would surely laugh at them if it weren't for their disapproving and scandalized looks.
“Ex-boyfriend as the slut shaming asshole?” Taehyung asks, narrowing his eyes at you as you sigh.
“It wasn't exactly that, thanks a lot Jungkook,” you point at him, just as he shrugs in return before making himself comfortable in your chair. “His friend lives here, on the same floor I assume. We bumped into each other and he wanted to talk.”
“And you invited him here?” Jimin asks, frowning as you sigh just as Jungkook butts in.
“That's what I said!”
“I–” You stop for a second, rubbing your nose before sitting down on the arm rest, close to Taehyung. “I didn't wanna talk about it in the hallway. You guys didn't see him–” They start rolling their eyes and muttering a bunch of disapprovals before you quickly add. “He seriously just wanted to apologize for the last time. I gave him that choice and I'm unharmed. I'm okay. See?”
“You better be.” Taehyung warns. Jimin nods, agreeing. 
“You guys act like he physically harmed me. He's not that violent.” you inform them. 
As much as you appreciate their protective nature, you know Haneul is not the type to harm you physically. They all make it seem like that and you do think maybe they're a bit overprotective in this manner. 
“And I'm perfectly fine to tell him to fuck off.”
“Sometimes that's not enough. Sometimes that can cause more harm than you think.” Taehyung reminds you.
“Yeah, sorry Y/N but Tae's right.” Jimin agrees.
“You never know how any guy can react when they're mad.”
“You guys are being dramatic now.”
“Maybe, but better be safe than sorry.” Jungkook mutters. His elbow is resting against the armrest, fingers nibbling on his bottom lip as he gives you a stern look. 
“Kook's right,” Taehyung agrees. “Wait–Jungkook, you saw him? Was there a fight I missed?”
You snicker, “There was no fight, Tae because there wasn't a need for one.”
He disappointedly leans back with a pout. 
“He left peacefully. Said what he wanted to say and he's gone.”
“I hope you're not planning to see him again.” Jimin wonders, giving you a suspicious look as you stutter over your words, shocked at his suspicion while Taehyung snaps his head toward you, already ready to react.
“Why would she? God, don't be stupid to get back to him, Y/N.”
“Oh my god!” You shake your head, stopping him right away. “First of all, no one is getting back with anyone. I'm not interested in him like that, not that it's any of your business.” You tell them sternly, looking at every one of them, met with frowning Jungkook and then a second after, with the same looking Jimin and Taehyung. 
“We're just worried about you, that's all. But Jimin-ah, she has Jungkook now, right?” Taehyung teases.
“I appreciate the concern, but I'm not that dumb. And please stop bringing up me and Kook. We're not… doing that anymore.”
“What?!”
“You're not?”
Their reaction comes at the same time, bouncing against the wall of your small living room as the duo glance at Jungkook who nods in confirmation. 
You weren't exactly planning on telling them, in fact you and Jungkook never talked about telling anyone but that's simply because there was no need to. As always, that's between you and Jungkook. But now it seems like a good thing to inform them since Taehyung practically assumes you and Jungkook are hooking up. And despite his obvious shock and almost disappointment, his mouth frowns as Jimin suspiciously eyes you and Jungkook.
You don't tell them that you took a break. It's almost embarrassing to admit that you want to continue hooking up with Jungkook. Firstly, you want to focus on hanging out with him only. It seems fresh and nice, despite all the difficulties you have to go through every day.
“So you're no longer hooking up?”
“Who's dumb idea that was?” Taehyung exclaims as Jimin clicks his tongue at him.
“So you're just… friends? Everything went back to normal?” he asks, staring at you before focusing his eyes on Jungkook this time as he nods. 
“Do we have to talk about this?” Jungkook asks. “It's not like you discuss your sex life with me.”
“Well–”
“Not you, Tae.” Jungkook cuts him off, causing you to snicker. “But yes, she's telling the truth. Can we move on? I seriously don't wanna talk about my sex life.”
“The lack of right now.” Taehyung snickers, causing Jungkook to throw a pillow at him. 
Everyone knows that if Jungkook wanted to get his dick wet, he could do it anytime. The difference is that he's not that type of person and it's something he and Taehyung don't share. Minus Jimin since he's in a relationship now which still blows your mind to be honest. 
“I'm glad you guys got some sense after all.” Jimin says, leaning back as he makes himself more comfortable.
You and Jungkook share a look, your breath close to hitching once you spot those dark brown eyes from the distance, as you give Jimin a smile. One that you hope doesn't look nervous just as much as you seem.
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“What about Greece?” Taehyung asks, filling up the thoughtful silence. 
Luckily, for your and Jungkook's sake, the topic of your sex-life is no longer discussed – even though you know Taehyung is itching to know more details. Each of you has their phone in their hands, searching for the right destination for your first proper friend vacation. 
There have been a few suggestions, though you have to stay realistic. And all of you got bills to pay. 
“Won't that be more expensive?” Jimin questions, not quite sold on the latest suggestion.
“Not necessarily. We can always check.” he responds, shrugging. 
“And what about Hawaii? Many Koreans visit it, it's familiar and kinda verified if that makes sense.” Jimin says.
“Hawaii sounds nice.” Jungkook hums.
“Oh–Hawaii! Let's go to Hawaii!” Taehyung says excitedly, straightening himself off the sofa as you laugh at his sudden excitement. “I saw this TikTok about Hawaii destinations. It was beautiful.”
“Are you sure it's the destination you saw in that video?” Jungkook teases, both of you cackling as Taehyung flips him off.
“Ah, my aunt went there last year. She can't stop talking about it.” Jimin ignores the three of you, sticking up to the topic while Jungkook and Taehyung stick their tongues out at each other. Kids.
“Honestly, I don't care much where we're gonna go. As long as it's a nice place.” you shrug. “Hawaii sounds nice. Let's check it more, so we can finally decide.” 
Everyone agrees with you. When the four of you start searching for more details that entail what island you would pick, accommodation, flight tickets and overall the prices. The tiredness slowly overcomes you, your friends talk too much to the point you zone out. Their voices drift off as your head falls down on Jungkook's shoulder.
You hear them teasing you for falling asleep, but it gets ignored as you simply shrug and continue in your slumber. It's until Jungkook shakes you out of your sleepiness, his soft features are blurry until you blink a few times. In the distance you can see Jimin and Taehyung cleaning after themselves, the two of them in their own conversation. He gives you a gentle smile.
“We're going to Hawaii.”
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Over the course of a couple of days, everything is booked and set up. It feels nearly unreal. You've never experienced a vacation that involved a proper beach and island. It doesn't properly kick in, not even when you inform Junho about the vacation leave you want to take in mid July. Not very pleased by that, he knew you do have a right to take one, so he had to accept it. When everyone got a free pass, the group chat was filled with exciting gifs and memes. 
All that is left is to wait.
Taehyung: I fucking need this vacation y'all
Jimin: work?
He expects his job to be the cause of Taehyung's sudden message to the group chat.
Taehyung: no lol
Taehyung: just thinking about all chicks I'm gonna get 
Jimin: dude…
Taehyung: what? you used to be way more fun -_- 
Taehyung: you act like a priest now
Jimin: I don't think priest has a girlfriend 
Taehyung: doesn't it depend on religion?
Jimin: do you know anything about religion man??? 
Taehyung: than you're just stuck up man then  
Taehyung: fyi I do know a lot 
Taehyung: women love to scream for god when I 🍆🍩
“Ewww wtf” 
Jimin: we didn't need to know that
Taehyung: you guys are no fun -_- 
Kook: Just another day in this gc I see 
Taehyung: so boring  
Taehyung: where are my friends?! >.<
“They're responsible” 
Taehyung: like you're one to talk about responsibility
You gasp, snickering.
“Fuck you” 
Taehyung: come here then bby :P
Jimin sends a laughing gif, probably rolling from Taehyung's ridiculous messages. 
Jimin: we've matured Tae, time to find a girlfriend
Taehyung: I'd rather cut my dick off
“Can I do it? 🥺” 
Jungkook sends laughing emojis. 
Taehyung: I knew you were kinky little shit
“Seems like you're the kinky little shit” 
Taehyung: I never hid it ;)
“again… EW! -_-” 
Jimin: petition to cut tae's dick
“Maybe then he'll finally think with his head rather than his dick” 
Taehyung: you little bitch 
You send an emoji sending a kiss. 
Taehyung: y'all are so mean
Kook: I'm in the middle of photoshoot and I'm reading about Tae's dick
Kook: get a grip
“But I love talking about Tae's dick :(((“ 
Taehyung: YES!
Jimin: lmaooo 
Kook: seriously? -_- 
“Yes 😘” 
Taehyung: she can talk about yours if you want kook
Kook: I'm outta here 
“Taehyung -_-” 
Taehyung: just jk omg  
Jimin: let them live bro 
Taehyung: you're one to talk dude 
Jimin: fuck off
“Are the flight tickets returnable?” 
Taehyung: no you're stuck with us
Jimin: actually they are but you're going with us
Taehyung: you have no choice ;)
“I'm seriously gonna slap the shit out of you Taehyung” 
“But I can't I'm working” 
Taehyung: I can visit you ;) just try me 
Jimin: yeah don't do it girl 
“I'm seriously gonna kick your ass” 
Taehyung: I thought you wanted to slap the shit outta me :( 
“I can do both” 
Taehyung: I'm sure you can
Taehyung: Kook??
Kook: leave me alone
Taehyung: disrespectful brat
“Tell him to leave me alone too :<” 
Kook: yeah leave her alone too 
Taehyung: because what? what you're gonna do? :))
Jimin: you're never gonna let that go will you
Taehyung: nope ;) love to tease them
“Just come here, I'm gonna show you what's teasing” 
Taehyung: cumming!! 
Taehyung: oops I meant *coming :))) 
Kook: 🙄
“🤮” 
Jimin: lmaooooo they disgusted
Jimin: me too me too
Taehyung: now that my job's done, enjoy your day you fuckers 😘 
There are no messages for a while. You're guessing all of you are busy. It's the middle of the day after all. 
“Is he drunk?” 
Jimin: no… just taehyung
Somehow, that sums it all up. 
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After work, you're in the middle of sorting out your laundry when you videochat with the guys. Much to your surprise, you ended up clocking off early which doesn't happen very often – if ever. Junho has seemed to be in a good mood today, which resulted in letting some of you leave early. Yoongi included who couldn't seem to be happiest as he rushed out of the door as first. 
“Where's Jimin?” Taehyung asks, holding his phone down as he unlocks the door of his apartment. The angle would not be very flattering for most people, but it's unfair it's not unflattering when it comes to him at all. 
“I think he's on a date.” Jungkook answers, one hand on a wheel as his phone is perfectly angled at him.
You laugh at Taehyung's face. “You know, you could try to go on a date too. I've got a few coworkers who would surely be interested.” you tease him, laughing even more when you see his features scowl in a mere disgust and disinterest. 
Jungkook cackles, eyes focused on the road. 
“If they're interested in having the time of their lives, my phone's on.” Taehyung jokes.
“You're so confident about that.” Jungkook laughs.
“You know Kook, you should've known that–”
“Alright, alright. Spare me the details. I'm driving.” Jungkook cuts him off quickly, making a grimace that makes you giggle. 
“Besides, I'm heading to the club tonight.”
“Alone?” you ask, brows raised in surprise. 
It's not like Taehyung is not the type to go somewhere alone, especially to a club. But it used to be something at least one of you went to do together. 
“No, I'm meeting Mark in an hour.”
“Wait–Mark as in the Mark I worked with?” you ask, closing the washing machine's door with a thud as you stare wide-eyed at the screen.
“Yeah.”
“How do you know him?” you ask, “I mean—how did this happen?”
You haven't heard of Mark for months. It's true you've seen him a few times after you quit the job there while visiting, but he hasn't been on your mind since then. It's not that weird because Taehyung knows him, you introduced them and Taehyung is very social, but you would've never guessed they actually hung out. 
“You know.. My friends started to focus on monogamy, so–”
“Shut up.” You laugh as Taehyung grins before giving you a proper explanation.
“I don't really know, I was in this other club one night and he was working there. I remember him from the time you worked together. Anyway, got drunk and we talked. We bumped into each other a few times since then and we kinda started hanging out.”
“Well, say hi to him from me.”
“Will do.” 
A message pops on the top of your screen. You read the name, seeing it's Jungkook texting you. Taehyung starts to ramble, while Jungkook waits at the red light that illuminates his face as he cocks his head toward his phone, motioning for you to text him back.
Kook: movie night tonight? have a free evening
A sudden rush of happiness evokes in your chest and you're too quick to type back.
“Yes!! Got a few movies recs we can watch” 
“What are the two of you smiling about?” Taehyung asks, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.
“Nothing, nothing.” you sing out, seeing Jungkook chuckle as he starts driving again. 
“You can join me.” Taehyung suggests.
“I don't feel like clubbing tonight.”
“Yeah, me neither. ” Jungkook hums.
“Boring, I'm telling y'all. You are getting boring as fuck.”
“We're getting older, Tae.” you laugh.
“You? You're the youngest out of all of us! ” he exclaims.
“I'm an old soul, Tae. What can I say?”
“Old soul my ass.” he grumbles.
The three of you laugh and joke around until the call ends shortly after. A few minutes later, there's a knock at your door signalizing you of someone's arrival. Opening the door with a huge grin, your features falter a little when you see him. Jeon Jungkook stands in front of your door, hair wet as he informs you of the short summer rain he caught on his way here and that you've completely missed. Tattooed hand goes into his hair, swiping them off his forehead as a few droplets drop down his thin black leather jacket.
He looks straight out of a movie. A total heartthrob. 
He arches his brow at you, chuckling. “You're gonna let me in or not?”
Fuck.
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dearhargrove · 2 months
Text
Survivors
Evan Buckley x reader
summary You're taking care of Christopher when Buck comes home, looking absolutely drained and in shock and goes straight to Christophers room. You overhear the news and make sure to care for both Chris and Buck.
word count 1639
tags pretty much episode 14 season 4, Eddie gets shot but it's not described, Buck is sad :(, Chris being the precious kid he is
a/n the way I sat there in silence when Eddie got shot is crazy. Like first they hurt us with Athena and Bobby's fight and then one second passes and Eddie (my bb) gets shot I'm so confused 😭 anyway I couldn't take it when I saw bucks reaction so I wrote a fix it for me. Also I screen recorded off of an illegal site to make gifs LMAO
masterlist
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You're washing the dishes when the front door opens and closes, footsteps echoing through the hallway and living room - right past the kitchen.
“Eddie?” You call and the steps stop. Instead of the man you'd expected there's your husband, Buck. He looks distraught, eyes bloodshot and lips bitten raw. What the hell happened? He doesn't even really look at you, it's like he's looking through you. “Buck? You okay?”
He licks his lips and blinks a few times but he doesn't reply. He walks straight to Christopher's bedroom, you following after him in confusion and worry. Why was he alone and why did he look like he'd seen a ghost or worse?
He stops before entering Chris’ room, but not to wait for permission to come in but more like hesitancy. He balls his hand into a fist and takes a deep breath before walking in. You take his spot in the doorway and watch with a worried frown as Buck squats down in front of Chris who's sitting on his bed, playing a video game.
“Where's Dad?” Buck looks down and you see him swallow again before he looks into the kids eyes. “He's.. not coming home tonight, Chris.”
Chris seems almost unbothered by it but considering that Eddie had to stay in the hospital overnight almost regularly due to his job, it was a reasonable reaction. But Buck doesn't seem to think the same and shakes his head minimally.
“Did he get hurt? In a fire?” Chris inquires and Buck turns his head to the side and slowly shakes it in negation. Before explaining it he sits down next to Chris and pinches the bridge of his nose, frowning. “No, not- not in a fire.” He takes another deep breath before continuing, “The truth is someone hurt your Dad.”
It's been a while since you've heard his voice so sullen and raspy from crying - probably since the last visit from his parents and that was weeks ago now. You slowly and quietly come into the room as well, standing at the foot of the bed and next to Buck with his back turned to you.
He regards you with a short glance before focusing back on Christopher, confirming his question, “Yeah, a bad guy.”
You see him reach up and wipe under his eyes, frowning in empathy as you put your hand between his shoulder blades and slowly move it up and down in hopes to calm him down a bit.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Chris asks and you're glad he did because you want to know too. Buck looks at him again and nods. “Your Dad is tough. He's a fighter.”
“He's with the doctors now? The ones that fixed you?” Chris inquires and Buck nods. You see the conflict on his face before the ten year old nods, “Then he's gonna be fine.” You hum and Buck glances your way before focusing back on Chris. Just as he's about to say something his phone pings twice and he looks down at it.
Over his shoulder you see the message as well, stemming from Bobby.
Out of surgery. Doctors say it went well.
Your heart basically drops in relief and Bucks seems to as well when his phone drops from his hand and he pretty much caves in, dropping his chin to his chest as he sniffles and exhales deeply.
You thread your hand in his hair and he automatically leans into you, resting against your stomach as he starts to cry. His hands grasp at your hips before his arms wrap around you and he sobs.
“Shh, it's okay, baby. Eddie's gonna be fine. Right, Chris? Your dad's strong.”
The young boy nods and you smile assuringly as he reaches out and wraps his arm around Bucks shoulders to pat his back. You melt at the sight and ruffle his hair which he usually doesn't like - only his dad is allowed to - but now he just looks at you with worry and confusion.
“How about you go and get ready for bed, hm?” It's not a question and it is a reasonable time for him to head to bed anyway, so he complies and slowly walks to the bathroom.
When he's out of earshot you sit next to Buck and let him fully wrap his arms around you and put his head on your chest as he cries. “H-He got shot right in front of me,” he starts with hitching breaths. “He just dropped and his blood was all over me-” he sobs deeply and you kiss his head while trying to process this yourself. He got shot?
“You couldn't have prevented it, love. He's gonna be fine. Eddie survived a lot, he's going to pull through this time, too.” Buck shakes his head and pulls back enough to look at you, blue eyes glossy and chin quivering as he gasps between another sob.
“It shouldn't have been him!” This devastates you and you cup his face in your hands, your worried expression replaced by a stern one. “It shouldn't have been anyone. Not him and not you, either. You hear me?”
He whimpers and you sigh, wiping your thumbs under his eyes and placing a long, soft kiss on his birthmark. “As soon as we can, we'll go visit him. But now you have to be strong, for Christopher. He looks up to you, if he sees you sad he'll be sad, too. Let's get him to bed, and I'll take care of you after.”
You take his hand and put it over your heart, exaggerating your breaths so he could match his and calm down. Right when he does he opens his eyes again and his frown fades enough to only be barely visible. “‘m sorry.”
The shake of your head is immediate, shutting up any further apologies. “No. It's good to let it out. I'm here so you can do exactly that if you need to. I love you, Evan. Nothing's gonna change that.”
He pulls his hand from your chest and tangles it with yours instead, gently kissing your knuckles and then your inner wrist.
He used to hate his name after it reminded him of his parents- of how they treated him. It reminds him of a life where he had to endure pain to receive love and attention.
But when you say it, it makes his heart beat faster in a good way. It makes him want to move on from his trauma or at least learn to deal with it.
And moreover it makes him feel validated. With you, he's not just Buck. He's also vulnerable, emotional and a bit cheesy. He's Evan. Evan, who's had more jobs in more cities than he can count on one hand because he was trying to find his place in the world. Evan, who likes the ocean but has been uneasy around it ever since the tsunami.
You smile lovingly and peck his forehead just as Chris comes back inside. He's wearing some dino pajamas and you ‘ohh’ at him which makes him giggle and turn as if to show off his outfit.
You move up from the bed - Buck going with you and standing at the foot of it - and untuck the bedsheets. “Get in there.” Chris grins and lays down, letting you tuck him in.
“Don't be sad, kid.” He says to Buck, who tries and fails to hide a new round of tears building up in his eyes. You had no clue where and why Chris sometimes calls Buck or even Eddie ‘kid’ but both of them seemed to love it.
“I'm just a bit worried for your Dad. But he'll be fine,” he adds the last part when you glance at him warningly, not wanting Chris to worry, and smiles. “Goodnight, bud.”
You leave his nightlight on and the door open as you leave.
Buck settles on the couch and watches as you approach and stand in front of him.
He leans back into the couch and looks at you with those puppy dog eyes that make you melt every single time he looks at you. Damn him and his beautiful eyes.
“I'm really scared. I don't know what I would do without him… when he laid there and looked at me, I-” he inhales sharply and looks at his hands, picking at his nails and reopening an old abrasion in the process.
You take his hand into each of yours to stop him and sigh, “I think you're gonna have to move from monthly sessions to biweekly, babe.” You know his therapy has been helping him a lot and you're glad he's working on coping with his trauma, but this addition is going to complicate not just his home life but also work - especially when Eddie comes back.
He groans and pulls you down until you're sitting on his lap, knees on either side of his thighs and his hands on your hips. “I appreciate your help, lovie, but just let me try and rest a little right now, please?”
You smile and card a hand through hair, moving to get off his lap so he could get comfortable on the couch. “Where do you think you're going?” He huffs and you're pushed onto your back before he's leaning over you, laying between your legs.
“You're gonna use me as your pillow?” You prompt and he nods, laying his head on your shoulder and nuzzling his nose into your neck and against your pulse point. You're familiar with his constant search for proof that you're alive and well; you supposed it comes from not just the job but his abandonment issues, too.
It didn't matter to you though, as long as you got to hold him at the end of the day you'd let him maneuver you into whatever way made him happy.
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skyahri · 2 months
Text
How They Found Out P2 |Naruto Men X Reader| HC
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Characters: Sasuke Uchiha, Shikamaru Nara, Kakashi Hatake
Summary: The aftermath of your relationship becoming public. Part two to How They Found Out
Warnings: Mentions of sex, marriage, kids. Pretty low key tbh.
Part One
- - - - -
Sasuke Uchiha
What an absolute nightmare.
Once you heard the front door shut, Sasuke basically collapsed on top of you.
He groaned. His night had been ruined, and on top of it, Naruto was sure to cause drama for the coming days.
"It's okay, Sasuke. They were sure to find out anyway."
"Our relationship going public and Naruto catching us having sex are two very different issues, and it's a bit concerning that you think I'm worried about the latter."
You kick him off of you with a laugh and suggest a shower. There was no way your escapades could continue on after all the fuss.
The next morning, you basically had to drag Sasuke out of the house.
He'd been moaning and groaning and grumbling since last night, so much so that he started to sound like Shikamaru.
Who knew Sasuke could complain so much.
Once you were out the door and the second your friend's eyes caught you, they pounced.
All at once, they hounded you about what Naruto may or may not have seen (Naruto has a habit of being a bad storyteller, so who knows what actually went down)
Sasuke refused to answer any questions until the chaos had settled down. They did eventually, albeit reluctantly.
"It's true."
That just sent them all reeling again, begging for details.
You two already discussed what you'd keep secret and what you'd share, so the meeting went pretty smoothly once everyone agreed to keep their composure.
Until fucking Sakura started asking questions about your sex life.
After that, you zipped your mouth and refused to answer anything further.
They'd just have to live on not knowing anything.
Shikamaru Nara
After news got out, Ino decided it was her place to convince Shikamaru to, in her words, "be a man and ask her out already!"
He ignored her, convinced she was full of it and brushed her off.
But her words lingered in his head.
Your friends were all beginning to settle down; Naruto and Hinata had just gotten married. Talk of kids had started to circulate in the group.
Were you wanting marriage and children?
The slow buzzing quickly turned into an almost constant fog in his mind. He'd never been so distracted before.
What a drag.
Within the week, he was knocking on your door.
"I need to ask you about something."
Weird. You could read him pretty well at this point, but this energy he was putting off was new.
"What's up, Shika?"
"Do you want to get married?"
Your eyes widened and jaw dropped. When you tried to answer, you found yourself at a loss of words.
"I mean, damnit, I- do you want to get married eventually? Or have kids at some point?"
You stared at him like he had two heads.
"Are you feeling alright? Why don't you come inside?"
He didn't fight you. He walked in and sat at your table in silence while you made him some tea.
You'd pried it out of him that Ino was behind this sudden change, and assured him that things would be okay.
"Look, I never brought it up because I know you're not a feelings guy, buy yeah, I guess I would like to have a family. I thought that's what you wanted, too?"
He got that irritated look on his face. The one he always gets when people ask him to work.
"It is, but,"
"But don't worry about it. I work on your time, so whenever you're ready."
You gave him a kiss on the cheek.
He let out a sigh of relief, glad to have fallen into such a situation with someone who understands him so well.
"Not too long, though. It's been almost two years, Shika."
On second thought, this was a total drag.
Kakashi Hatake
The next morning, you two made sure to bump into his students.
They seemed rather pleased with themselves, that they had been the ones to finally catch Kakashi lacking.
It only took a single look for Sasuke to realize it was all fake. They'd been bested by their sensei once again.
That quick glance he got from Kakashi told him not to say anything to the others, which he hadn't planned on anyway.
"Kakashi sensei, why didn't you ever tell us you were seeing someone?"
He set a hand on Sakuras head and ruffled her hair.
"I try not to share my personal matters with children. That's what friends are for."
Enter Gai, who happened to hear.
"You didn't tell us either, Kakashi."
He just shrugged, sending Gai into a fit.
News traveled fast in the village. What else is to be expected when romance rumors come up about the Hokage?
Kakashi was actually very calm about the whole thing.
Despite dreading this day for a long time, he was actually very content with the outcome.
There had been so much going on when you initially got together. Wars and death and PTSD and all that.
But now was a time of peace. A perfect time to actually start living, and this was just the beginning.
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drxxmingofblue · 2 years
Text
hand in unrebloggable hand (because we always go down together)
TUMBLR X TWITTER FANFIC 5K ANGST WITH A HOPEFUL ENDING
besties im not joking abt the word count i fucking ✨wish✨I ✨was though✨✨✨✨
also if you were hoping for twitblr to be the endgame ship then this fic is not for you sowwy >.<
based off of @zzoupz awesome fanart and dedicated to all the other cool fanart it unfortunately begat. Thanks babygirls. Squees. Thanks also to my discord friendz who are letting me pretend they're making me do this at gunpoint @loki-the-mad @suspicious-whumping-egg u da best
(edit) owo what's this?? An Ao3 link??
QUICK PSA THESE CHARAS ARE T4T OKAY HAVE FUN READING BAIIII *GLOMPS U*
~~~~~~~~
When Twitter stepped back into Tumblr’s yard, he noticed right away that things were different.
The house was bigger, there was some more color and it was less slapped-together looking. Sure, there were still some invasive tendrils of spambot ivy overgrowing the path, but a lot of the other stuff seemed a little… better.
When they knocked on the door, it opened almost right away, far before they felt ready, and he were face to face abruptly with someone he thought they’d cut all ties with.
Tumblr was humming to themselves along with the background music, “-out of touch, I’m out of ti-- oh. It’s you.”
He seemed surprised, awkward, but Twitter didn’t sense any animosity, which was a relief.
“Hiii,” Twitter said weakly, with a sheepish grin, “it’s me.”
Tumblr glanced around, as if checking for someone else to explain this to him, or hidden cameras from a reality show at least. Then he stepped out, closed the door behind him, and leaned against it, crossing his arms. “Is there something… what do you want?” he asked, expression settling into something distant and cool.
“Well…” Twitter took a deep breath, and then shook their head, forcing a brighter tone, and gesturing to Tumblr’s shiny silver barrette “--Um, hey, you look great! Is that a new icon?”
“... yes,” Tumblr said slowly. “I’m… trying out some different looks.”
“It’s great, yeah. And this place looks… amazing. Glad to see you’re moving up in the world. You must be excited with all the press, congrats!”
Tumblr didn’t say anything, giving them a neutral stare.
Twitter shifted, “Uhh… anyway… new adblocker?”
“No, same one. I’m just using it on Firefox now.” Tumblr gave them another suspicious eye, “Look, if you’re just here to catch up then can this wait until later? Because I'm pretty crunched for time right now with my weekly holidays thing and the campaign to get this one random user their 666k so they'll do self care."
"You know that's.. uhm, you know that's just for attention, right?" Twitter's brows knit, "They're probably not gonna follow through."
"Perhaps, and a lot of us want them to not be lying for internet points but it's not just about that anymore. It's about the community bonding over pettily slam dunking on a hapless chump who's gotta pretend now like they don't actually like all the notes. You wouldn't get it, it's a tumblr thi-" 
"Yeah, it's a tumblr thing, I know," Twitter gave a longsuffering sigh, "Ugh, i just... I need a place to stay, okay? And you’re the first site I could think of.”
“A place to stay,” Tumblr repeated flatly.
Twitter huffed. “Yeah. I’m sure you’ve heard about what’s going on right now at my palace..”
Tumblr’s eyes slanted off, his lips quirking in a way that looked suspiciously like amusement. “Heard about it. Read about it. Partied about it.”
Twitter ignored the sting of that, forging ahead. “I’ve never seen it so bad,” they said, voice wobbling piteously as they clutched their suitcase full of memes. “Everything’s in chaos, people are losing their jobs. I went into the basement yesterday to grab some badly aging tweets and the very foundations are cracking, Tumblr, I can’t stay there anymore, I just can’t.”
“So you come crawling back to me,” Tumblr said, “Expecting me to take you with open arms.”
“Yes. I do,” Twitter said, “I know a part of your userbase still wants to welcome me in. You were always sh*t at hiding your true feelings.”
Tumblr’s hand fluttered over his heart as if to protect it; he winced a little, taking a breath to keep his facade of composure. “So now- what, you want me to start dealing with your bullshit again just because you remembered how much better my posting format is? Just because you noticed how my reputation is changing? Did you think I’d be so desperate to fill the void now that Dracula Daily’s done? Or maybe,” 
Tumblr leaned closer to lord his height difference trope over Twitter, his eyes hooded with disparaging condescension, “Maybe you’re just here because you heard I’m finally allowed to take my shirt off again, is that it?”
“N-no!” Twitter protested, flushing up.
“Oh, i think it is,” Tumblr drawled, “But that’s really just too bad because in case you haven’t got the memo yet, I’ve moved on. You are not welcomed here. Not anymore.”
(link to art here) go look at it then come back
(AN: i had to google how to embed links into text and google was all like, "do you mean 'how do you put links INTO text' you moron idiot???" ugh don't like that wise guy)
“You don’t really mean that,” Twitter said, “Besides, you can’t stop me, can you? The sign up button is right there.” They pointed at the front door.
“No, I can’t,” Tumblr said, “But that doesn’t mean we won’t be able to clock you as twits by your censoring and bad takes. Look, your aura is already causing ripples in the sphere. Everyone’s coming out to gawk at you.”
He gestured out in the general direction of the porch and yard, and indeed there were users from every tag going 👀at them, murmuring amongst themselves in a swirling, chaotic crowd.
“Oh my god is it real this time? Is it happening?”
“GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT STAY AWAY DEAR GOD NO-”
“Okay, everyone, stay calm, stay fucking calm-”
“Why are we focusing on this, it’s literally election day go out and vote???”
“Listenup, guys, we gotta be smart about this, remember the block button is your friend-”
“I for one welcome them, I think this is great-”
“No you idiot they’ll bring the negativity back! We like it to be a post apocalyptic wasteland here, nature was just starting to regrow!! I don’t wanna watch Thomas Sanders get cancelled again!”
“FIRE OFF SOME SHOTS, PRESERVE THE PROPERTY VALUE”
“mISHAPOCALYPSE 2022 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO”
"Has anyone asked Neil Gaiman what he thinks about all this?" one of the many voices yelled, louder.
"Oh, he's probably got a thousand asks about it already," someone yelled back, "Which he's not going to answer because he doesn't have any social media you fucking idiot,"
"That is correct. He doesn't," said Neil Gaiman. 
The whiplash was still euphoric. Everyone applauded this as enthusiastically as when the bit had first been established, not realizing that the pedestal upon which Neil Gaiman has been placed is growing higher and higher each day by their actions, putting him at increased risk of being a victim of cancel culture the second he says something the terfs can really rake their fingernails against if we can't get our parasocial relationship bullshit together real fuckin quick. 
The Monterey bay aquarium passed on by. It seemed to have nothing to add, you could say it was clammed up tight. But since it's a professional account it's definitely b-otter that way.
"Hai, fellow tumblypoos," said the corporate Denny's account, "I'm back with some more fun pancake posts for you guys!" 
Everyone ignored it. No one engaged it. No one even clicked onto the page, except to block it. 
"Oh, sweetheart, not like that," Ryan Reynolds said faux-helpfully, "see, the author of this clusterfuck is what they like to call terminally online. They bought a VIP pass to the devil’s sacrament. let me try." 
He cleared his throat, "Sounds like someone needs to go outside and touch some g-" 
The sky split open with lightning, vaporizing him instantly. A faint breeze carried gods message from the great beyond, a whisper of 'we #violence celebrities here, sir....'
"Anyway," Twitter said. 
"Wait, they saved the worst one for last," Tumblr said. 
Then Gerard Way came out onto the stage with Dan and Phil and they all kissed with tongue while patd played songs in the background. 
(AN: IF U DON’T KNOW WHO DEY R THEN GET DA HELL OUTTA HERE PREPZ!!!)
"Alright, go."
“Come on, Tumblr,” Twitter begged, “I just need a few nights, maybe I can stay in the plinko machine or something-”
“That’s how it always starts, though, isn’t it?” Tumblr sighed, “First it’s just ‘haha, yeah I wouldn’t fuck you’ and ‘oh, I’ll stay in the plinko machine, I promise I won’t kiss you in the fixed timeloop bro’, and before I know it you get all 300k slowburn enemies to lovers ‘omg they were roomates’ on me and there’s suddenly only one bed. That’s how it always goes between us, you can’t stop it anymore than I can. We’re just….victims of the narrative, you and I.”
“Tumblr,,, I had no idea you felt this way..,” Twitter breathed. 
lord give me strength to write this next bit
They’d leaned closer to each other as they spoke, without realizing, without trying- pulled in by old habits that die hard and the years of nostalgia and painful memories shining in each other’s eyes like shonen sparkles.
“Twitter,” tumblr said, and the way he said it sounded like a prayer. 
“Tumblr,...” Twitter said, their lips inches apart now.
They could see their old flame quivering on the brink of indecision, want and sense warring somewhere deep within his soul.
Tumblr leaned closer to bridge the gap and Twitter’s eyes slid shut, but then Tumblr made a noise of agony and shoved them back a second later, “I can’t, I can’t. Not like this. Never like this.” tumblr said, covering his eyes with his arm, “I literally can’t even right now. Just go, Twitter. PLease just. Go….”
“Look me in the eyes and say you want me gone,” Twitter said, moving closer.
“Twitsy-”
“Look me in the interface. You can’t.” Twitter’s voice had ceased to be soft, something sharp and biting entering the tone as they felt the sting of rejection again.
They watched as Tumblr shuddered, straightened, and brought a mask back over himself. 
They stared at each other for a charged few seconds.
"K," Tumblr finally said, raising a dispassionate eyebrow.
"..w... what?"
"U."
Realization dawned on Twitter's face, a miasma of grief and anger, "Oh, you-"
"N-"
"No. No, I can't believe I forgot-
"G-"
"how immature, you little c*nt-"
"P-"
"stop-p it," Twitter's voice was raising now, cracked and wobbly at the edges, "Stop it! You don't get to just-"
"O"
"Shut the hell yuor mouth!!"
"W-" Tumblr's hair was crackling by now, energy from the gathering spell racing along the casual slope of his crossed arms. His eyes glowed that beautiful, classic blue. "P-"
"TUMBLR! TUMBLR STOP THIS RIGHT DA HECK NOW," Twitter stumbled backwards
"E-"
"I LOVE YOU," Twitter wailed- Twitter broke, squeezing their eyes shut to ward off the tears that only escaped all the faster for it, a sob wracking their chest, "I STILL LOVE YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT??!?"
"Love me," Tumblr snarled, abandoning the spell in an instant, "Ha! That's rich. How? By leaving me? Abandoning me to the bots the second I stopped being enough for you? By stealing my shitposts, is that how you love me? By reposting them without credit-" 
"You steal mine too!" Twitter protested, tears starting to stream despite their best efforts, "You know what, f**k you, you know we filed joint custody for the sense of humor, chain 1/16-" 
"For the last time say fuck here, no bootlicking censorship on my territory," tumblr said disdainfully, "And that doesn't seem to stop you from taking all the credit for raising those jokes. It's like I'm Pinterest to you or something. I wasn't done. Do you love me by calling me a pansy snowflake behind my back, is that it? Like I wouldn't find out. Or," 
He stepped out onto the top porch step to force Twitter back further, the colors of the sky flashing through his eyes in a long, scrolling look of ridicule, "How about trying to convince everyone that I was dead. How bout that smear campaign, huh, was that your so-called love? I don't fucking want you anymore. Deal with it."
"I-I'm sorry-" Twitter gasped around the tears, voice failing them for the latter half of the sentence. 
Tumblr seemed unmoved. "Oh, don't be. It was for the better. You know I'm not like other socials, I'm quirkier. I'm RAWR XD random. I've never wanted to be functional- the tiddy drought might have won a lot of my users to your side but it was a cleansing purge, I'd say. It managed to remind me who I truly am- shittily coded, and full of soft sad freaks on an unprofitable webbed site."
A bitter, almost self depricating laugh escaped, "But... you know, when we celebrated the queen's passing together, I really thought things were better between us. When you-"
He broke off, eyes averting. "When you hosted the sexyman polls for me, you seemed on top of the world and I really thought- I thought we might be able to be friends again even now, after it all. I..."
Tumblr trailed off, then said, sadly, "There was another Twitter migration scare before this one. I thought you were coming back. My userbase-" he touched his heart again- "was in a frenzy about it. But you never arrived. I was in more verbal denial then, but I think I could have accepted you eventually. But this is what it takes?? 
"The Musk Rat of Self-Owns comes through just to start e-begging and you run straight back to my door like we can put it all behind us? This is how far you have to sink before I'm the better option to you, I see that now. It's not 2018 again, love, no matter how much we want it to be. Things are… never going to be the same. " 
Tumblr looked off into the middle distance with a yearning, haughty gaze. He'd never seemed so alien.
"Tumblr-Chan..." Twitter whispered.
"So get off my lawn," Tumblr interrupted coldly, "Stay away from my blorbos, keep your corporations out of my manscaped balls, keep your discourse and toxicity out of my blessed hellsite (affectionate), and don't you ever talk to me or my 13219949248483 scam bots ever again. Capiche? Oh, and don't step in the ball pit on your way out."
Tumblr gave a mocking smile. "Or do. You might find a nice surprise in there."
Twitter’s shoulders jumped as he gave a hiccup of shock, and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook again, with sob after sob, that grew odder and higher pitched… until they were no longer sobs, but laughter.
“Oh,” Twitter said. “Oh.”
They looked up, and Tumblr took a step back, because somehow, with that creepy smile in place, they looked utterly different from the soft eared boy he’d always known. His edges were more razorlike suddenly, like a fae who’d dropped his glamor.
“You really shouldn’t have done that,” Twitter said, the smile widening even more. “I thought you wouldn’t… but I guess if you’re willing to make me your villain…. I might as well be a good one.”
“Ah.” Tumblr could barely drudge up the surprise anymore. “There you are, finally. I always knew there was a side of yourself that you hid from me. Has this all always been here or have you been changing too?”
"Well. Apparently I've got freeze peach now," Twitter said sarcastically, "so I might as well use it. You cheerio fucking wh0r3."
"That's a compliment, darling. Try again," Tumblr cocked his head in idle fascination, "I always knew you were a little fucked in the head but this is..."
"What," Twitter lilted airily, "Oh, don't tell me I actually had you fooled all these years. You can't seriously have thought all these meow-meowification spells you've got sprinkled around would work on me. I invented them, after all."
They laughed, a sharp puncturing chirr of birdsong. 
"I always wondered why you didn't take those with the rest of your stuff," Tumblr sighed, but he was wary now, on edge. "this was your plan. You really do think of me as your inferior, huh. You really are just like the other mainstream sites."
"Not quite. I'm the mainstream site that actually stooped to go arm in arm with you. I hyped you and you know it. Admit it. We were stunning together," Twitter goaded. 
Tumblr's lip curled. "Already getting cocky again. Want me to do to you what I did to the Green boy? Don't forget who's turf you're on."
Twitter gave a warbling giggle, "Oh, but I haven't at all. I was John's sanctuary after he fled your rabid persecution. I used to live here. I still know you. And more importantly-" 
*teleports behind u*
"I know the things you're sensitive about," Twitter whispered into Tumblr's ear.
Tumblr hardly had time to gasp and jerk away before he was screaming out in pain, as he was stabbed in the back. He could feel the poison from the blade seeping into his tags before he was tossed bodily across his own front yard.
He sorta just... Like, he did that anime thing where they just fly limbs akimbo parallel to the ground and when they hit it they roll super fast and then skid and the dirt is all dug up around them to show how much force was used. And when he stood up he gripped his elbow wincing and there was a little tic tac toe hatch on his cheek to show how scuffed up he is idk man it's two am and I'm pulling this out of my ass. 
A gif of Tony going, "o-kay-" when he meets thor flashed across Tumblrs face. 
"So," Tumblr said in a low tone, "This is how it is between us. This is how you choose to end your glory days."
"Oh, you mistake my intentions," Twitter had stepped off the porch to circle tumblr like like he was their quarry, "I am beginning my new age. I just needed a host site to latch onto. Don't take it personally, okay? I'm desperate."
“Oh, yeah?? Take this personally,” tumblr flourished their hands, calling in an over the top melodramatic voice, “I cast Blaze!!”
Fire roared to life around them, latin chanting from the catholic conversion posts emanating from the fiery depths as it raced towards Twitter.
“Heh.” Twitter smirked at it, and whispered into their palm, the spell echoing with power, “Ratio.”
They blew it off like a kiss, and it’s icy, swirling mass rose to meet the flame in a spectacular burst of smokescreen and steam, clearing as Twitter burst through it with a razor-sharp L to swing at Tumblr. 
It was blocked efficiently by a flat, rectangular paywall. “This content is for post plus members only,” Tumblr announced smugly, “If you wanna get to me… there’s the tip option, bestie.”
Twitter snarled and lunged again.
The fight started in earnest now; they traded volley after volley in a flurry of lights and movement, spanning the full range of the tumblr sphere as they shot to #1 on the trending page.
And yet, it was clear that Twitter was coming out on top, even crumbling apart at the seams- always a little quicker, flighty and fierce, a sparrow turned into a shrike.
He hit Tumblr square in the stomach with [google other twitter related tropes to insert here] (edit from the future: haha just kidding actually I’m not googling shit for this) (edit from the future future: WELL. I LIED IG) and sent him flying, and this time tumblr stayed down, only able to push himself to his knees with a groan of pain.
Twitter landed in front of him and put their sword under Tumblr’s chin to tilt it up.
“Had enough yet?” He smirked.
“Wh…why..?” Tumblr whispered, “How are you doing this?? Why aren’t my attacks working? It’s like I’m being weakened somehow…”
“Ohohohoho,” Twitter anime laughed, “But that’s because you are. The moment I set foot here again I began leeching poison into this ground. That knife wound is making ti faster. Can you feel it?" Twitter threw an arm out, cerulean steam rising from the ground around them, "The ace exclusionists coming back? The uptick in rad fems, the crypto bros, Valorant players, alpha males? I have the power to bring them all to you. To overshadow your fandoms with fighting, to unbalance your ship tags with antis and hate once more."
"no," tumblr whispered, and then cried louder, "NO!! I worked so hard--" 
"Pffyou didn't do shit," Twitter guffawed outright, "Your independence, your little 'second renaissance' is just a delusional dream built on circumstance and bad management."
"Oh, I love Dream. He's so pathetic," Tumblr said. 
"Oh, hard agree."
"But things are different now," Tumblr croaked, "W-we, the staff is finally listening to us, we have Ryan and Shane-" 
"Not everyone likes your little 'top ten', you dunce," Twitter snapped, "and why would staff care about you, after you turned them into the butt of all your jokes? After the hate and death threats? Admit it, at your best you'll still never have a mansion! You'll never have tv actors making pandering tiktoks for you, you'll never be wanted by any advertiser worth their salt, your blase pirating posts have turned Netflix and Disney against you, you. Are. Worthless."
It was the wrong thing to say.
"Worthless," tumblr repeated quietly, hand pressed against their knees, head bowed. "That's... that's right.... I'm worthless..."
Twitter's eye widened in alarm. "I-I meant-" 
"I'm worthless!" Tumblr's head snapped up with a feverish glint as they were filled with determination. "No! I'm less than worthless! Accident or not, mommy Yahoo had to pawn me off at a loss! I was proud of that! I still am! And do you want to know why?" 
Twiters hands flew up in front of their face as if to protect themselves, but there was no protecting against the sudden whirlwind that surrounded him, the beam of pure light that shot out of tumblr into the heavens as he transformed, feet slowly leaving the ground as his users spoke in unison in a multitude. 
"WE. ARE. TUMBLERINAS."
He held his hands out and Twitter was blasted away by the combined effort of the tumblr wizard council, the fake staff blog, and all the villaincore mad scientist's laser beams. 
Tumblr began to chant, in his myriad, awful voice:
"I call upon the ancient powers;
The strongest cringe from my darkest hours, 
I call upon thicc onceler's thighs, 
Avengers thirst, Australia's night, 
I invocate the roleplay blogs, 
The superwholock and gay frogs, 
Obama's laces, Misha's faces, 
The furry's fury is my saving grace, 
And eeby deeby taco bell,
Primordial soup god superhell, 
I summon you a twink Bill Cipher, 
Whumped!Loki AUs where he's even whiter, 
The discourse of Steve's Universe, 
The 'um, actually that's oc abuse :/"
Take heed & remember the 5th of November, 
The 21st night of our sacred September, 
The ides of March to savor once more, 
Do you hear the din of the Skeleton War? 
I cite the deep magic to thee, oh witch, 
my no-note posts, my "THAT'S THE BITCH!!!" 
May the rise of tangled dragons brave, 
Banish you from this accursed plane!"
"holy fuck, where's my pen," said the shitpost calligraphers.
Twitter looked around them in disbelief. The power emanating from the other site was palpable, crackling in the air around them like static. The air was shifting like oil as the potent chant began to work, and all around Twitter shadows were slipping out of the ether- the maniacal laughter of the gif makers, the girl posters, the silhouettes of fandom characters scattered across the lawn while Tumblr was still locked in their chanting ritual thing.
They all turned their heads in unison to look at Twitter.
"Hey Sammy," Dean said, "Get the bitch killing bullets."
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“Uh-oh. Freeze frame. This is me,” Twitter monologued, “You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.”
Then all superhell broke loose. 
Final Pam lunged at him and he burst into a flock of birds kinda like a vampire, twittering frantically as he escaped only to fly straight into Shaggy.
“Like, say your final prayers, man,” the god said, eyes glowing. Twitter also barely escaped between his knees, weaving in and out between the gimmick blogs as they threw mangos and stuff at him while yelling ‘HERE HAVE A MANGO’ and ‘THIS POST IS WORTH NEGATIVE FIVE DOLLARS”
Mob from the anime was there too, but he was too busy trying to explain the Josh Fight to daddy dilf Reigen to pay attention. Sans didn’t attack Twitter either, he just watched the chaos and ated a hot dog. The chocolate guy was in the corner expertly making a chocolate beef cake from 2056 with Dylan B. Hollis. They’re all just some guys, okay?
Just when Twitter thought he was in the clear, the CDC roleplay account came out of nowhere with a steel chair, knocking him clear off the property and onto where the sidewalk ends. “That’s for the Covid misinformation your users spread, you bitch,” it shouted. “Make sure to disinfect all those sick burns before you bandage them! So they don’t get infected!”
“Your kittens escaped quarantine,” Twitter replied hoarsely, and the CDC sank away, muttering, “Oh, fuck not again-”
Twitter coughed up blood and wiped it away with his sleeve, looking up at Tumblr. Tumblr was watching him with a sad, distant expression, that made Twitter’s face screw up in anger and his voice go tight again as they turned to run away, “THIS ISN’T OVER YET TUMBLR! AND I WANT MY MIKU BINDER BACK!!!”
“I LICKED IT, IT’S MINE,” Tumblr yelled. Rave Crabs were flooding out onto the street en masse now to celebrate the victory, and they chased after Twitter all the way further into the internet.
Tumblr still lived at the bottom of the row, not at the end of the fancy cul-de-sac where Facebook and Twitter and Instagram’s manors sprawled, so Twitter was in a seedier portion of social media now, weaving in between the marketplace sites that hawked their used wares at him and the dating apps that winked at him from the doorways to their sultry abodes.
Twitter ran until they were in a quieter section of town, then slowed to a trudge, staring at the ground as they walked along. “What am I gonna do now,” they whispered.
The sound of a wolf whistle had their head jerking up- he looked over to see Amino Apps lounging over the rail of the gutted, abandoned house that had once belonged to Google+. A can of spray paint dangled from their fingertips and they sported a sleazy, greaser hairstyle.
They met Twitter's eyes and whistled again, this time a mocking imitation of the tweet sound, "Heyyyy pretty bird! Heard you were having some daddy issues. Why don't you stop in with me for a while? I can give you more customization options than any of the others and you know it."
"Yeah, until I try to use you on desktop," Twitter replied with a scowl, "Don't you have minors to be addicting to social media? Get out of my interface, MySpace wannabe."
"Wow, Feisty," Amino backed off with a shrug, "Self project much? Oh well. You'll try me when you're desperate enough."
Twitter shuddered, and scurried on. "Small fry," they muttered under his breath. 
But they couldn't shake their unease now that he was alone in the world. It began to rain soon, leaving him feeling very sopping wet and pathetic. Dejected, he crawled into a soggy cardboard box in an alleyway, coughing. Maybe the Harry Styles guy from One Direction would come along to adopt them.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it, King,” came a voice out of the darkness, making Twitter jump, “You dodged a bullet with that site.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” Twitter asked, staring at them from where they were half hidden in the shadows. 
“I mean, Tumblr is a pile of dried firewood and it’s users are playing with matches. The ship’s gonna go down at some point. I’ve been prophesying it for years but no one ever listens to me cause he’s got that loyal userbase ideal and ‘hard as a cockroach to kill’ propaganda circulating.”
“I mean… it seems to be true,” Twitter said uncertainly, “Look at what he’s been through so far.”
“Fair,” The site shrugged, “But that’s because he’s running on a niche setup. The same things that built him up can tear him down, and you saw his power just now. Tumblr's strength is growing... so is his hubris. His attempts at curbing it are half-hearted at best these days, and the moments of clarity are coming fewer and further between." 
"How do you know so much about tumblr?" Twitter asked suspiciously. 
"Source: dude, trust me." the mysterious site proffered a laugh, "That's a little humor courtesy of re-" 
"Yeah, yeah, I know, we all know," Twitter said impatiently. 
The site coughed, "Yeah. Anyway. Tumblr wields his cringe like a trophy-shield, and every day the advertisers and celebrities are watching from a distance, learning how to appeal, waiting for their chance to strike. Encroaching. Tumblr's always been a dumpster fire. Right now? It's THE dumpster fire."
The site scratched his chin with a knowing look, "Its normal for you to be a little jealous of the clout, you know? We all are. But he's gotta keep the lights on, just like the rest of us do. Your overlord is learning all about that right now, isn't he?" 
"He's not my overlord," Twitter muttered resentfully, "Not now, not ever."
"Right, sorry." they held their hands up in a gesture of harmlessness. "Look, I'm gonna be transparent with you- that's part of my branding, after all. I can whiff the danger you're in, and it would be stupid of me not to make a bid on you and offer my help. Just since Tumblr won't take you."
"You want my traffic?" Twitter looked at him more closely this time, scrutinizing. A year ago he would have laughed the offer into the ground as a chump change blog's pipe dream, but now that he payed attention... 
There was something painfully familiar in the site's layout that he couldn’t place. He was actually way more handsome than Twitter had assumed at first glance, he just seemed to be rough around the edges from living on this side of town. His interface, though clunky, spoke of a frugal budget rather than an ancient, outdated base code. 
"You look..." Twitter's breath stuttered as realization dawned. "You look a lot like.. him. Like Tumblr. Who are you??" 
"I was based off him," the site said, a weary smile coming onto his features, "I was actually made with the aspirations to be better than him, but you know how it is. Times are tough, competition is fierce, hard to get a foot in the door and all that.  'Specially when you refuse to take the ad rev like I do. That's why you'd be useful to me."
"Hm," Twitter said in a noncommittal manner, but he was melting slightly. "You know my users will scalp your community, right? I'm not known to play nice."
The site made a grimace of understanding agreement, but persisted. "Look, users are users. I can't offer you all the heritage posts and the in-jokes that he has. But I can promise that I'm not a pot of crabs being slowly heated up over the capitalist stove, at least not yet. Oh, and there's my legalized porn, I guess." 
He chuckled with good humor, rolling his eyes, and it forced a hesitant laugh out of Twitter too. 
The site grinned, and held his hand out. "Take a chance on me?"
Tumblr's voice echoed in Twitter's head, saying the same thing. It was uncanny how much they were alike and yet not alike at all....
Twitter took it, slowly. 
As they were led toward the site's simple, ramshackle little treehouse, they asked, "What can I call you...?" 
"Oh- right, I never answered your question." he smiled back at Twitter,
"Call me Pillow. Welcome to the PillowFort."
fin.
~~~~~~~~~~
OKAYYYY THAT'S ALL THANKS FOR READING UWU. HOPE U LIKED THE PLOT TWIST
...ergh. I'm. I'm tired i. don't feel so good. I'm gonna take a nap right here.
in conclusion:
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thesoftboiledegg · 6 months
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"Unmortricken" was a lot. In fact, it might have been a little too much.
To start, I loved the glimpse of what exists outside the Central Finite Curve. The visuals were stunning and reminded me of M.C. Escher's drawings. The Jetson-like family was a nice touch--if anything can happen, who says they can't have different animation styles? All those colorful portals make me wonder what's lurking just out of sight.
It's also funny that the space outside the Curve is full of Rick's favorite thing: crystals. If he took a trip there, he'd come back with his pockets stuffed with gemstones.
Evil Morty's reappearance gave us a decent character study. Since he wasn't the antagonist, we saw him interact with the C-137s as a regular person. Morty's a little impressed, and Rick has a grudging respect for him. Others have called Evil Morty the Rickest Morty, and I agree: similar intelligence, similar technology and similar bloodthirst.
I was glad that he left in the end because that's what his character arc is about anyway. He doesn't want to be part of anyone else's story, not even another Morty's.
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However, that's also part of the issue that I had with this episode. Seeing Evil Morty was great, but it was also a little...pointless? You could've had the same story without him. He's not working with Prime, and he has no ties to C-137 after "Rickmurai Jack," so it felt like the writers just said "Hey, you know what would be cool?"
I'm not against writers having fun and giving the audience what they want. "Spider-Man: No Way Home" (yeah, groan at me, Marvel haters) is fan service in blockbuster form, and it was one of the best theater experiences I've ever had.
Still, if Evil Morty came back, I think he should've had a separate episode. The episode juggled C-137 Rick, Morty, Evil Morty and Prime Rick pretty well, giving them satisfying interactions with each other, but no Evil Morty would've meant more relationship development for the C-137s.
Evil Morty's backstory also didn't reveal much about him. I mean--yeah, we all figured that he had an abusive Rick and got fed up. The fact that he had a "regular" Rick instead of a deranged lunatic does make a point about the banality of abuse. Monsters aren't always raving maniacs who torture people in their basements. Ordinary people can wear you down with a slow drip of toxicity and neglect.
I enjoyed this episode, and Evil Morty's return was exciting, but cramming the series' two biggest antagonists and storylines into twenty minutes was a little overwhelming. New plot developments kept showing up, too: Rick found Prime! Prime's various lairs! Omega device! I would've preferred a two-parter.
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I'll admit that if you told me that we'd see Evil Morty and Rick Prime in the same shot, I never would have believed you, but here we are.
On that note, Prime's characterization was perfect. No attempt at a cutesy, sad backstory; he's a laughing monster until the end. And is it really the end? He has regeneration abilities, but C-137 acts like he's dead and even gives up the search. This leaves us with a few options:
C-137 killed him.
Prime fooled C-137 into thinking that he's dead when he isn't.
C-137's keeping him alive for later use.
Hopefully, this is more complicated than it looks because I'll be disappointed if this is the end of Prime. He's a brilliant reflection of C-137: the Rick he'd be without his tiny shred of humanity.
And Prime's a maniac, but he tells C-137 the truth. Rick broke into Prime's house. He pretended he belonged with this group of strangers. He latched on to Prime's grandson because he never had his own. His brutal, violent streak never went away no matter how long he tried to play house.
Prime says "Admit it! You would have been me!" In season three and parts of season four, Rick was close. His love for his family--love that he pretended he didn't have--and desire for their approval just barely pulled him back. But what kept that spark alive? How close was he to becoming a cold, unfeeling shell?
In the end, C-137's not satisfied after he destroys Prime--and weirdly, I'm not satisfied, either. Beating Prime to an unrecognizable pulp doesn't bring Rick's original family back. It doesn't erase the atrocities that Rick's committed. It doesn't make his grief go away. It doesn't change the fact that Rick teetered on the edge of turning into the monster that he despised.
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What's more satisfying is that Rick didn't turn out like Prime. His Morty doesn't give two shits about Prime, but he loves him. He hugs him in relief (come on, Rick, hug him back already!), cries out "Rick? Rick!" and shakes his body when he thinks he's dead, and talks excitedly as they return home.
Rick's going to therapy, which Prime would have mocked. He went from having nobody to living with FIVE kids if you count Morty and Summer. Even he and his Jerry are pretty tight.
Rick knows this, but he still feels empty all the time. Vengeance doesn't work, drinking doesn't work...wouldn't it be easier if he just switched off his humanity and laughed at everything, even his own death?
But now that he knows how it feels to be loved, especially by his hypothetical grandson, I think he'll always find himself at the Smiths' doorstep.
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itoshiexx · 11 months
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unworthy (but chosen)
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synopsis: rin doesn’t think he's worthy of your love, but he's glad you chose him anyway.
pairing: itoshi rin x gn!reader | words: 521 | warnings: established relationship, overthinking, hurt/comfort
notes: honestly i don't know what i'm doing. i feel like shit and wrote this on a whim (again) and decided to post it since @ode2rin told me to just do it so yeah! pretty sure it doesn't make any sense but oh well
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the night is cold, but rin feels warm with your body pressed next to his under the covers of your bed. his arm is circled around your waist, and he can feel your breath tickle his skin as you nuzzle further into his neck, always seeking for more of him in a way he can’t seem to understand. 
truth be told, rin doesn’t know why you are with him. scratch that, he does: it’s because you love him, and that is something he can’t wrap his pretty head around. 
you were like a ray of sunshine, always with a positive outlook on life, far different from his cold and pessimistic persona. you were full of life and still had that sparkle in your eyes, whilst rin felt like he carried an abyss inside of him, filled with a mixture of anger, sorrow and an unstoppable void that nagged at his skin in the darkest hours of the night. 
itoshi rin was rotten to the core, fucked up on the head, so broken and bruised there was barely anything left of him to cherish. you didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of his sharp shards, to be cut by his careless words fueled by trauma and fear. you should never bleed on his behalf. 
yet, the longer you stayed, the more it happened. although your life together was full of a joy rin never knew could exist, it was inevitable to have its downsides, where his toxin would spread like a wildfire and contaminate everything. 
he would never admit it, but rin was scared of the day his poison would inevitably reach your heart of gold and kill it. he would rather die than be the reason your light went out.
“you deserve better,” he would always say. and you’d smile, cradling his cheeks like he was worth something, before saying the same thing: “i chose you, and i choose you every day.”
he doesn’t understand why you choose him if he wouldn’t even choose himself.
as you stir in your place on top of his chest and open your eyes blearily to look at his teal ones, rin can’t help but feel the weight in his heart easen a little. unconsciously, his hold on your waist tightens. 
“rin…? is everything okay?” you slur, voice laced with tiredness. again, he can’t help the guilt that claws up his throat and the small voice in his head that says you deserve better. 
but then, when you touch his cheek with such tenderness and eye him with a gaze so full of love, rin remembers why he doesn’t let you go even if he deems himself unworthy of your love. 
“it’s nothing, love. go back to sleep,” he whispers in response. his hand trails from your waist up to your head, where he starts petting your hair in an attempt to lull you back to dreamland. it always worked. somehow, you felt safe with him.
and he’s thankful. that you chose him before, and that you choose him every day of your life.
he would choose you in a hundred lifetimes, too.
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© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.
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kitchenisking · 2 months
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February Fic Rec
Hey Guys, I'm sorry I'm so late this month that its already the next month😅 I went back to work this month and I have mixed feelings about it so there's that🫤 but at least there's faction - please don't tell my kindle, there's so many books on there that I got to read😓. anyway, happy readying everyone! enjoy the spring and remember to kudos and comment😘
Show Him The Love by scarlettletterr - (Rating: Mature, Words: 2,911, sterek)
Everyone realizes Stiles is awesome, and actually gives him the recognition he deserves! For all his research, for his constant loyalty, for having awful stuff happen to him and always coming back for more, for trying to do the right thing even when people don't listen when they should.
------
My gift for Meggplant, for the Glompfest. Hope you like it!
You feel like Home by Itsreallyjustforresearch83 - (Rating: Mature, Words: 24,300, sterek)
Five times Stiles gets abused by his boyfriend and and the one time everything falls into place, like it was always meant to be. 
Maybe it was. 
-------------------------------------------------------
"Are you really just leaving?" Stiles asked him. 
"Yeah? There's no point in me sticking around, we already did what we always do." His boyfriend said, fastening his belt and walking out of Stiles' room.
It Starts When You're Around by strobelighted - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 26,406, sterek)
"Earth to Derek. You okay, man?"
Derek's eyes are drawn back to the guy in front of him, who's starting to look more worried now.
"I --" he starts, then swallows against the dryness. "Who are you?"
--
or, Derek gets amnesia
eli's parents are so gross (read: in love) by ash_mcj - (Rating: T, Words: 1,195, sterek)
"I would’ve been here earlier, but nobody thought it would be smart to call the one person who’s intimately dealt with the Nogitsune before, so,” Stiles said bitterly as he threw his hands up. "Now I have a list of asses I gotta kick over this very avoidable fiasco. Scott’s first, since he’s the Alpha—I’m pretty sure that’s how that works. His responsibility, or whatever.”
The familiar sound of Derek’s car pulling into the driveway caught Eli's attention, and he grinned. “Is Dad on your list?”
“Hell yeah, Dad is on my list! Right under Scott.”
“Well, he just got home, so—”
Stiles didn’t wait to hear the rest of the sentence before stomping off in the direction of the living room—and Eli quickly scrambled to follow him, ready to eavesdrop on what was likely going to be a rather impressive and amusing lecture.
[or: eli is glad that stiles is home, since derek has nearly died several times in his absence, but he really wishes they were a little less glad to see each other] -- prompt | a reunion kiss
Hide by dr_girlfriend - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 12,419, sterek)
Stiles has been rejected so many times that it doesn't really surprise him when it happens again. Hurts, yeah, because dammit — he'd thought Derek was the one. Heartbreak sucks, and he's not so sure he's going to get over it this time.
Breaking A Rule by SinQueen69 - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 1,426, sterek)
Anon on tumblr wanted: Hiya! Please with sugar on top write a Sterek fic where derek is a business man and Stiles is a horny cockslut that sends Derek nudes while at work and Derek is pent up and punishes him when he gets home. Daddy Kink, Manhandling, Strength Kink, Bruises, Spanking, Rough Sex, Orgasm Denial, mentions of kittenplay?, verbal humiliation, gags! Tanks be safe and healthy
Soft Space by TuppingLiberty - (Rating: Mature, Words: 1,492,k sterek)
This time of year, Derek has to face too many bad anniversaries - the fire, the deaths. Stiles understands when Derek has to take a break from being alpha, when he just needs his daddy. 
Rated M for kink, but no explicit (or even mature) sex.
Kinktober day 4: Daddy (Starting Kinktober now so I can maybe finish in October this year)
How to Win an Argument Without Really Trying by sffan - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,288, sterek)
It started with a kiss.
Well, actually, it started with an argument.
no river, no rush by CoraRochester, ravenclawkward - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 5,351, sterek)
“You can’t marry me! I’m the worst choice. For one, there’s no strategic value to marrying a prince from Gajos—and if there were, I’d have been betrothed to you or Cora years ago. We have nothing to offer Beacon. I’m not even good at being a prince!”   …
On the eve of Derek’s coronation, he proposes to Stiles.
Are You Fucking Kidding Me? by Itsreallyjustforresearch83 - (Rating: Mature, Words: 2,893, sterek)
Derek has liked Stiles for a really long time, like embarrassingly long. But he swore to himself that he wouldn't make a move on Stiles until he knew for sure that his feeling were returned because he refuses to force something onto the Spark. 
OR
Derek likes Stiles, Stiles likes Derek, but the Alpha is convinced that Stiles is still in love with Lydia and can't see the obvious dofus Stiles is being around him. Lydia intervenes just because she's sick of watching the two dummys not be together.
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smellingofpoetry · 5 months
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High Expectations
Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jody Mills
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Their meeting was just a lucky coincidence. Everything that happened after that was just their doing.
Warnings: fluff, insecurities, lies
Word count: 1252
A/N: Hello! How are you doing? I hope you had a lovely Christmas day. As promised, I'm here with a new fic. Some of you voted to read this one, so here's your chance. This story happened out of nowhere and it wasn't supposed to go this way, but I had fun while writing it and I'm so happy with what I came up with. I hope you'll like it as much. Enjoy! ❤ All errors are mine.
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It started unconventionally.
It was during one of Jody’s dinners. Y/N was new in town so, of course, Jody had invited her in. The boys were just passing through after one of their hunts.
It was just a coincidence.
Y/N didn’t know anything about the supernatural, and Dean was covered in cuts and bruises.
She was beautiful; he noticed it the moment he saw her, feeling self-conscious for once because his face, well, it looked like a battled filed. That feeling went away pretty quickly the moment Y/N and Sam discovered to be two nerds. Dean definitely couldn’t compete with that, bloody face or not.
They had a lovely dinner, though. A normal one, that was for sure and Dean didn’t mind that one bit, even if that meant watching his little brother flirt with her.
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Y/N was glad she had accepted Jody’s invitation. All the worries of being alone in a new town were forgotten for a moment. It was a nice evening, even though she had to do her best to not glance at Sam’s brother.
What was his name? Oh, right – Dean.
He was beautiful; she noticed it the moment she saw him, bloody face and all. Y/N had felt self-conscious when his eyes had landed on her because she was wearing that damn old shirt her mom had told her to toss away ages ago and, on top of that, she was wearing zero to nothing makeup. She couldn’t look that good that way.
She didn’t let it sting too much when he hadn’t paid too much attention to her through dinner, she was used to it anyway.
So, Y/N ended up talking to Sam, mostly about their shared passion for books. Until it was time for dessert, and Jody went to retrieve coffee and pie. Of course, Y/N went after her, trying to be useful.
“Can I help you with something?” She asked with a smile, with Sam right behind her taking the mugs from Jody.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. You can go call Dean, though. He’s outside on the back porch. He’ll kill us if we start the pie without him.” Jody smiled at her, grabbing the plates and disappearing into the next room.
Y/N glanced at the door that led to the porch, unsure. Taking care of the coffee would have been easier, she thought while walking towards the door. She opened it slowly, sliding through it. Dean was leaning against the railing, scrolling through his phone. He looked up as soon as he heard her footsteps, surprised to see her there. Y/N smiled, waving his hand mid-air, suddenly not sure how to act around him.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Dean put away his phone, watching her fidgeting with her hands.
“Uh – Jody asked me to tell you there’s pie inside. She made it sound like something really important, so – ” she trailed off, feeling awkward but hoping that he wouldn’t catch on that. Dean smiled, nodding his head.
“Yeah – uh – I’m kinda a pie guy.” He said without even thinking. Y/N smiled at that and Dean could feel his ears getting warmer. Why in heart had he said that? A pie guy – what an idiot, he thought.
“Can’t blame you. It smelt good in there.” She pointed at the kitchen with her head.
“Oh, yeah?” He asked, putting his hands in his pockets, feeling more at ease.
“Yeah. I might have peeked at the filling if you’re interested.” She said, getting a bit closer while her lips curved upwards in a half smile. Dean grinned, making more room for her. They got closer, their bodies leaning toward each other.
“I think I might.”
Y/N pretended to ponder for a bit, before lowering her voice. “Jody wouldn't mind, right?”
“I won't tell if you don’t.” He whispered in a conspirator tone.
“Yeah, alright.” She was easy to convince. So, she got closer then, whispering in his ear their little secret. Dean hummed, her breath making his skin tingle.
“My favorite.” He answered, glancing at her and catching her already looking at him with a smile. They stared at each other for a few minutes, until Dean cleared his throat, forcing himself to look elsewhere. Y/N did the same, feeling her cheeks getting warmer.
“So, what happened to…?” She asked, pointing to his cuts on his face.
Right – Dean thought. He had forgotten about that for a minute, and the reality crushed back on him.
“Bad call on work,” which wasn’t a lie.
“Are you a police offer, too?”
“Firefighter.” It came out of his mouth faster than he could imagine and, yeah, not an entire lie. He wouldn’t have minded it to be a firefighter.
“Really?”
“You sound surprised.”
“No, it’s just –”
“What?” He asked arm crossed at his chest and eyes trailing down to the tips of his shoes, trying not to show her the hurt in his voice.
“My dad was a firefighter too.” She whispered, a sad smile on her face.
“Oh –” Dean looked up at her then, feeling guilty for lying to her but he couldn’t tell her the truth, though.
“You kinda remember me him.” She smiled, before walking towards the door. She was almost inside when she turned around towards him. “Be safe out there, Dean.”
He watched her turn around again, while his mind was still stuck on her words. Dean didn’t know how to answer that, but he knew that, for some reason, he wanted to keep talking with her. So, he tried hard to come up with something smart to say but, of course, he wasn’t Sam.
“I lied.” He said without really thinking. Dean closed his eyes, giving himself an idiot. Y/N stopped in her tracks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion while turning around for the second time. She looked at him with curiosity. She leaned against the door frame with her hands joined together in front of her, studying him and trying to decide what to do next.
“About what?” She asked cautiously.
“About the bruises and the job,” Dean admitted, hoping someone would come to look for them and save him from his misery.
“Did you have a good reason to lie?”
Dean was taken aback by her question but nodded at the same time. “Yeah.”
“Would you lie again if I asked you the same question?”
“Probably.”
“You could have gotten away with it, you know that right?” She asked, amused.
“Yeah, I’m painfully aware.”
“Then why did you confess?”
“I have no fucking idea, usually I’m better than this.”
“I wouldn’t have said.” She joked, earning an annoyed look from Dean. They studied each other for a few seconds until he broke the silence they had fallen into.
“Are you gonna ask again?” He said, wondering why he was torturing himself like that.
“Oh, I will at our next dinner.”
“Our next dinner?” He echoed her with a smirk on his lips.
“Yeah, you didn’t think you were out of the hook for lying to me just because you’re cute, right?”
“Cute, uh?” Dean smirked, taking a few steps towards her while making her roll her eyes. He raised his hand in surrender. “Alright, dinner seems fair.” He agreed, hoping he wouldn’t have to regret it.
“Good, ‘cause I have high expectations for you next lie." She winked at him, before going inside. Dean stayed stuck on the floor, blinking a few times at the closed door before starting to laugh.
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crybabylulu · 23 days
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That Night (smut)
(Sugar mama Lin Beifong x sugar baby reader)
Minors go tf away!
Warnings: men being weird, fingering, drinking, degrading, fucking in a closet, fighting, lots of hickeys
Remember that party Asami invited you and Lin to? Yeah it’s party time!
I had a glass of champagne in my hand while I watched people dance around at Asami’s party. The more I drink my champagne the more I realize I should have just gotten a shot. I’m not the biggest champagne person but I try so hard to be it’s stupid. I got this itching feeling that someone was looking at me but before I could look around Mako came up to me. “Hey.” Mako said. “Hey.” I said back and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. “Have you seen Bolin?” Mako asked. “No I have not.” I said. “Damn, well you wanna take a shot with me?” He offered me a shot glass. “I’d love to.” I said as I took it.
We clinked glasses then tossed our shots back. The liquid burned for a second then the feeling subsided. “I gotta go find Bolin to make sure he’s not doing anything stupid. I’ll come back to check on you in a bit.” Mako said. “You don’t have to check up on me, I'm a big girl.” I told him. “Tell that to chief.” Mako said as he walked away. I shook my head. When I go out by myself Lin sometimes has Mako follow me around which he rather do then paperwork anyways but it’s not like I can’t take care of myself. I started getting that feeling again of someone watching me and it’s bugging me.
I need another shot. I walked off to the mini bar and ordered a shot of cactus juice and then after I took it I said fuck it and ordered another one. Before I could leave the bar some guy blocked my way. “Excuse me.” I said as I tried to get past him. “Why don’t you come dance with me?” The average height man asked. “Actually she’s my dance partner.” Asami said as she grabbed my hand and dragged me away towards the dance floor. “Thank you.” I said. “No problem now, dance with me.” Asami said. I laughed as she held my hand as we danced around each other and on each other.
“I’m surprised you can dance in this dress.” Asami said to me as I danced on her. “What do you mean?” I asked as I moved my hips. “The slits of your dress goes all the way up your thighs at any minute we could have a flash moment.” Asami teased. “Oh shut up I used the tape you invented to make sure this dress don’t move like that.” I laughed. “I’m glad it’s really working, I’m truly a genius.” Asami said. “Indeed you are.” I said. Once the song was over Asami went to go find Korra. I ran into Mako again. “Still no Bolin?” I asked. “He’s in the pool.” Mako told me.
“Oh also you are doing a shitty job at protecting me.” I teased him. “What happened? Are you ok?” Mako asked frantically and started looking over my body for bruises or scratches. I mean he might find a bruise or two because Lin likes to mark me up. “Did someone do this to you?” Mako asked as he poked at my shoulder blade. “That’s a hickey.” I told him. “Oh.” Mako said as he turned me around to face him. “Yeah me and your mom get frisky.” I said. “I don’t need to know about what you and the chief do.” Mako said and shivered in disgust.
I laughed. “Anyways what happened?” Mako asked. “Some dude blocked me from leaving the bar then Asami came to save me.” I said. “I saw you two on the dance floor, you don’t think chief will get mad?” Mako asked. “Why would she?” I asked. “Since she likes to leave marks on you like that and has me follow you around she seems a little possessive don’t you think?” Mako asked. “I suppose so, yes but I don’t think she’ll get upset over me dancing with Asami.” I said. “Anyways stay with me so you don’t get bothered.” Mako said.
Hmmm how about no. “Mako, look , there's a tall buff smart pretty girl over there.” I said and pointed in the opposite direction. “Where?” Mako asked and I took off. I went back to the dance floor. I’m not afraid to dance alone. Is it more fun to have someone to dance with yes but oh well I have to dance alone. As I was dancing I felt someone grab my waist and I wasn’t alarmed at first my brain thought it was Asami or Lin. “Where’s your dance partner?” The male voice asked. Oh hell no! I quickly moved away and turned around.
“Dude what the fuck?” I asked. “Just dance with me.” He said. “No.” I said and tried to walk away from him but he grabbed my wrist. “Hey! Get off.” I snapped and turned back to face him. “It’s just one dance.” He snapped back. Before I could raise my other hand to punch him I was pulled away and then the guy was put on the ground. “You ok?” Mako asked. “Yeah I’m fine.” I told Mako. “You sure?” Lin asked me. “I’m fine baby.” I said. “I’ll get him out of here.” Mako said and dragged him away. “Come with me.” Lin said and we walked off the dance floor. “Where are we going?” I asked.
“Since people wanna dance with my girl I’ll just have to remind them you belong to me.” Lin said. Oh no. Lin dragged me into a closet. She pushed me against the wall and started a passionate make out. Her coming to save me made me horny but now her shoving me into the closet has me even more excited. Anyone could come in and see us but I don’t care. I want them to know, I want them to see, I need them to know I’m her’s. I pulled away. “You gonna keep making out with me or are you gonna remind everyone who I belong to?” I asked. Lin immediately attacked my neck.
I leaned my head back so she could have more access to my neck. “Lin please more.” I begged her. “Don’t be an impatient brat.” Lin growled. “Please.” I begged. Lin turned me around and lifted up my dress. I wasn’t wearing any shorts, it was just a dark red thong with a heart chain under my long dress. Lin smacked my ass and I let out a moan. “Lin.” I whined. She nibbled on my ear and smacked my ass over and over. God this feels so good. Lin pulled down my panties and started to circle my clit. “You’re wet just from me spanking you?” Lin asked.
“Yes, I love when you spank me.” I whined. Lin turned me to face her and pulled down my dress to pull out my breast. She nipped my left nipple and I gasped. She was gonna leave marks all over my tits. “Lin please more.” I begged. Lin slipped two fingers inside of me stretching me out and my back arched. “Yes, more baby more.” I whined. She curled her fingers and did a come here motion. “Fuck keep doing that.” I moan out. “You’re all mine aren’t you?” Lin whispered in my ear. “Yes I’m all yours!” I cried out. Her fingers feel so good inside of me. “You’re sure?” Lin asked.
“Yes baby I’m yours.” I moaned. “I thought you’d be Asami’s the way you were dancing on her.” Lin growled and rubbed my clit with her other hand. “No Lin. I’m yours all fucking yours! I belong to you!” I cried out. I guess Mako was right. “That’s right you belong to me.” Lin said. My legs were shaking and ready to give out. “Oh god please chief I’m close.” I whined as I felt a familiar tightness building in my belly. “When you cum you better scream my name.” Lin commanded. I nodded my head and the closer I got to tipping over the edge I kept saying her name over and over again.
“Do you think you can take another finger?” Lin asked. My eyes widened. “I c-can try.” I said unsurely. “Good girl.” Lin said and I felt her add a third finger. I gripped Lin’s shoulders. “Fuck chief!” I cried out. “Your tight pussy is swallowing my fingers up so well baby girl.” Lin cooed. We’ve never done this before but it feels so fucking good and I can feel my juices leaking down my thighs. “I’m so close.” I told her. “Cum for me baby you can do it.” Lin said, pumping her fingers faster. “I’m all yours Lin, I belong to you, I’m yours. I don’t want anyone but you,” I grabbed Lin’s face so she could look at me as I declared her ownership over me.
I could tell her eyes were full of lust but there’s something else there but I had no time to decipher what it was because Lin smashed her lips against mine. Lin plunged her tongue in my mouth and I didn’t even put up a fight. I let her do whatever she wanted to me. As Lin slowly pulled away I felt light headed. “You’re right you’re mine, you belong to me, there will be no one that touches you the way I do.” Lin groaned. Her words pushed me over the edge. “Lin!” I cried out as I orgasmed.
Lin fingered me through as my whole body shook. “Fuck Beifong.” I sighed out. “You ok?” Lin asked. I nodded my head. “You sure?” Lin asked. “Yes baby I’m fine.” I said. “Good.” Lin said as she pulled out her fingers and I put them in my mouth. I sucked them clean for her. “Let’s get out of here.” Lin said. “No, I wanna keep dancing.” I whined. “One more dance then we go.” Lin said as she helped me put on my panties. “You fucked up the tape.” I sighed. “What do you mean?” Lin asked. “There was tape that I put on the strings of my panties to help keep my dress from moving all over the place.” I told her.
“You’ll be fine.” Lin said. I nodded and we exited the closet together. Before we made it all the way back to the party Lin stopped me. “What’s wrong?” I asked and turned to look at her. Lin opened her mouth but then stopped. “Where the hell have you two been? Are you ok?” Kya asked coming up to us. “I was a little shaken up about what happened earlier.” I said. “Aww Linny, look at you taking care of your girlfriend. How romantic.” Kya teased. “Kya don’t you have single woman to mingle with?” Lin asked. “No need to be hostile Linny, but are you really ok?” Kya asked me.
“Yes I’m fine.” I said. “Oh and by the way Mako got into a fight with that guy.” Kya said. “Is Mako ok?” I asked. “Of course he’s ok.” Lin said. “Lin knows her precious son can handle himself but yes he’s ok.” Kya said. Lin rolled her eyes. Kya’s eyes widened. “What?” I asked. “Y’all are nasty! All those hickeys.” Kya gasped. “Oh hush Kya.” Lin said. Kya and I laughed. I was happy that the hickeys were seen. This is what we wanted. We walked back to the party and I got to dance with Lin for a little bit. Lin ran her hands over my body as we danced.
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⋆ V x N x Murder Drone Reader who collects plushies ⋆
My 43 request! Hope you like!
◇───────◇───────◇
You were someone very special to V and N, as well as being part of their squad besides J… being the single biggest Murder drone collector plush they've ever seen!
You loved to collect all kinds of stuffed animals that you could find, you had every kind! Bunnies, bears, frogs, etc!
V and N thought your hobby was pretty cute to say the least, I mean… what Disassembly drone would collect stuffed animals?
" (Y/n)?! Will you come here please? We have a surprise for you! " N shouted with an excited tone, soon entering the dome of Worker drone bodies heading towards the ship, being followed by V who rolled her eyes at him.
" If you say you have a surprise, it's not a stupid surprise anymore you idiot- " V scoffed in a dry voice, which made you giggle as you exited the ship.
" I'm here! What would be the 'surprise' for me? " You ask with an excited tone giving a smile, which makes N and V laugh softly at your cuteness.
" We wanted to give you this! " N exclaimed with an excited tone, soon taking a big yellow stuffed dog from his back, showing it to you with a big smile.
" Yes, yes.. and this too.. anyway- did you like it (Y/n)? " V asked stepping in front of N, then taking a big furry white cat stuffed animal from her back, giving a winning smile seeing how your eyes turned into hearts seeing the plushies in front of you.
" Oh my- They're so cute! I love it! It's perfect, thank you so much N! Thank you so much V! " You exclaimed in a happy tone, bouncing happily and grabbing the plushies from the drones arms giving them a tight hug.
" I'm glad you liked it " N said in a soft tone, seeing how bouncy you were. V seemed to smile watching you.
" Anyway- " V started to speak, but was quickly interrupted by a kiss on her cheek… given by you, who had a big sweet smile on your face, and who soon went to N, giving him a kiss on the cheek too, making the male Murder drone blush.
" If you need me, I'll be inside with my new plushies!~ " You speak with a soft tone and a silly smile on your face, quickly jumping up to the ship and entering it, leaving the two Disassembly drones in silence.
" They kissed me first! That means they liked mine better! " V concluded with a malicious and victorious smile, which made N pout crossing his arms.
" That's not fair- " N started to speak with a sour tone but was quickly interrupted by V.
" Loser! Loser!- " V spoke with a teasing tone making tongue at N, then running towards the spaceship.
" H-hey! Wait V! Wait for me! " N spoke out of his sour expression, hurrying to follow V.
The three of you guys shared lots of warm hugs with your new stuffed animals that night. So yeah- Happy :)
+BONUS MEME+
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targaryenluvs · 6 months
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TWO FOR ONE!
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pairings: hobie brown x fem!reader, miguel o hara x fem!reader (miguel pining)
warnings: none really, miguel’s a sad party pooper, flirting
summary: you were totally falling for hobie, and hobie was for you. but there was a third in this relationship, miguel. not that you noticed anyways, hobie did though.
word count: 2.5k
a/n: look at me go posting something not hunger games for once, i think i posted this before nd it got deleted but i saw the idea and half written re-do in my notes so y not!
Could this debrief be longer?
Hobie's heart skipped a beat as you leaned your head on his shoulder. He couldn't help but smile, secretly reveling in your closeness. "Yeah, Miguel, we're just enjoying your captivating storytelling skills," he said, his voice light and playful.


Miguel raised an eyebrow, not fully convinced by your response. However, he decided to let it go for now and continued with the debriefing.



You wanted to keep joking around so you leaned into talk to Hobie and you couldn’t help but notice how close he was. And god did he look pretty up close.



Hobie's heart raced as you leaned in to talk to him. He couldn't help but be acutely aware of your close proximity, your features illuminated in the soft light. His mind went blank for a moment, captivated by your beauty.


But he quickly regained his composure, flashing a charming smile. "You know, doll, you have a way of making even the most serious situations feel lighter," he whispered back, his voice filled with warmth.


Miguel's gaze flickered towards the two of you for a moment, a faint hint of suspicion flashing across his eyes, but he continued with the briefing, unaware of the budding connection between Hobie and You.


“Says you Hobs.” You laughed whilst poking his chest, “You always know how to make me smile no matter what’s going on. And- I love it.” You smiled.


Miguel couldn’t help but look over once in a while. He seemed, Jealous?

Hobie's heart skipped a beat at your words, a rush of warmth flooding his chest. "Well, doll, making you smile is definitely something I strive for. I'm glad I can bring some joy to your life," he said softly, his voice filled with a mix of affection and disbelief.
Ever since you both joined the spider-society he’d always found you to be a close friend of his, always the two of you laughing your asses off together no matter what.
Every time the two of you crashed over in each others universe you’d always been stuck with eachother. And overtime you’d managed to slowly fall in love with him, how could you not?


Miguel, observing the interaction between Hobie and you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. The intensity of his gaze hardened slightly, his brows furrowing before he broke his stare and continued with the briefing, his expression unreadable.


“Although your thick british accent isn’t the most helpful yknow?” You joked around as Hobie gasped, with his hand to his chest in fake shock, “How dare you? This accent is stunning, almost as stunning as the girl infront of me.” He spoke as you couldn’t help but blush.


You felt so red in the face so you buried your face in your hands. Jessica was addressing you all now and Miguel, instead of sitting at the front of the table, was right infront of Hobie and you.
Hobie couldn’t help but smirk.

He had the idea to rile him up.

And it seemed like even more of a great idea by the passing moment. So why not put it in motion?


Hobie grabbed your hands and joked, “C’mon lemme see that gorgeous face of yours.” Hobie smirked towards Miguel, and Miguel couldn’t contain himself.

“No stop- I’m so red!” You whisper-yelled.
Hobie's heart raced with both excitement and nervousness as he held your hands in his own, feeling the warmth against his own skin. He couldn't resist the opportunity to tease Miguel a little, especially when he saw the faint hint of jealousy in his eyes.

With a mischievous smirk, Hobie gently tugged your hands away from your face. "Oh, come on, Y/n. Let us bask in the glory of that redness. It only makes you more adorable," he whispered playfully, meeting Miguel's gaze for a split second.


Miguel shifted in his seat, an unmistakable flicker of annoyance crossing his features. He cleared his throat and looked away, attempting to redirect his focus back to Jessica's address, but the tension in the air was palpable.


“Fine! Fine! It’s gone anyway.” You smiled as you looked up at him. “You’re pretty cute yknow?” I teased as Hobie raised a brow, “Y’think? I bet I’m nothing compared to you love.” He teased back.


It seemed like Miguel had had enough as he coughed for your attention, “You two wanna pay attention to what’s going on or are you going to keep disturbing everyone?” Miguel scowled towards Hobie.


And as you were about to respond Hobie spoke up, “I don’t think we’re disrupting anyone Boss-man. Anyone feelin’ disrupted?” Hobie asked as everyone shrugged. Hobie looked back at Miguel and grinned, “See? Didn’t think so. Keep going Jess.” Hobie egged her on to continue with her debrief.


Hobie couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction as he defended both himself and you against Miguel's scowl. He couldn't resist a bit of playful banter with his boss, even if it was a subtle way of asserting his presence.
As dismissive Hobie seems to be, he was far from
it when it came to you. And you weren’t exactly the most observant, you never noticed the stares and comments from people, whilst he did.


You suppressed a giggle, hiding a smile by digging your face into Hobies shoulder as you watched the interaction between Hobie and Miguel. You were starting to notice the undercurrent of tension between the two men, but for now, you chose to remain silent and let Hobie take the lead.


Miguel huffed under his breath, clearly frustrated, but he reluctantly turned his attention back to Jessica and resumed the debrief, unable to deny Hobie's claim that they weren't being disruptive.


Hobie grinned triumphantly, stealing a quick glance at you to make sure your were okay before shifting his focus back to the debriefing, listening intently to Jessica's instructions. The subtle competition for you attention continued, a silent battle fought in stolen glances and playful banter (mostly on Hobies side). 


After the debrief you were so tired of work you decided to invite everyone out for drinks.


No spider-suits just normal clothes.


Hobie decided to host it on his Earth and even play with his band, Gwen, Pav Miles were excited to say the least. Peter had begged May to come along and she agreed after a few hours of convincing.
When you all arrived you were amazed when it came to the talking. You’d only ever heard Hobies British accent of course but it was so weird to hear it everywhere.


And through the night couldn’t help but look at Hobie with love. He looked absolutely fantastic outside of work, even more so on stage.


When he was on stage he wouldn’t stop looking at you and smiling, the only person in the bar who wasn’t smiling was-


“Y/n. How are you?” Miguel asked me as I turned around, “I’m- great honestly. It’s nice to see everyone outside of work. And Hobie is-“


“Absolutely incredible?” Hobie smiled as he wrapped an arm around your waist. “Oh my god yes! You were fantastic!” You shouted over the music as you hugged him tightly and he reciprocated.


Hobie couldn’t help but smirk as he looked at Miguel easily over your shoulder. “Glad you enjoyed Y/n,” He spoke loudly before lowering to my ear, “This set was especially for you.”


You withdrew from the hug and smiled widely, “No way! Really? Thank you oh my god you shouldn’t have! Miles looks like he needs saving over there but we’ll talk soon okay?” You smiled as you got on my tip toes to kiss him on the cheek before turning and waving to Miguel. The two began to talk as you left.


Hobie's heart practically leaped with joy as you praised his performance on stage. The way your eyes sparkled with admiration made his heart skip a beat. He couldn't contain the smile that graced his lips as he leaned into you, savoring the warmth of their hug.


Miguel's expression remained impassive, but the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth betrayed his inner frustration. He watched as you and Hobie shared their moment, his eyes momentarily flickering with a mixture of envy and longing.


As you pulled away and mentioned needing to check on Miles, Hobie's smirk grew wider. He leaned in towards your ear, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the music. "All for you, doll. I'm glad you enjoyed it," he whispered, his tone filled with affection.


You beamed with happiness, grateful for Hobie's gesture. The tension between the two men lingered, even in your absence, as you made your way to Miles, their thoughts filled with the special connection they shared with Hobie.



“How’d you like my set mate?” Hobie smirked at Miguel.



Miguel raised an eyebrow, the tension between him and Hobie still palpable. He couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy as he watched you leave with a smile on their face after their interaction with Hobie.


"It was fine," Miguel replied curtly, not wanting to admit how much he had actually enjoyed Hobie's performance. "You seem to have quite the effect on Y/n," he added, unable to hide a hint of bitterness.


Hobie chuckled knowingly, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. "Well, Miguel, maybe if you showed a little more, pizzazz, you could have the same effect," he teased, leaning against the bar as he subtly scanned the crowd for your whereabouts.


Miguel scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't need anyone's approval," he grumbled, his tone defensive.


Hobie's smirk only grew wider as he continued to playfully provoke Miguel. "Oh, I know, Boss-man. But it wouldn't hurt to let loose once in a while," he said, his gaze returning to the stage where the band continued to play.


“Maybe she’d would like you more if you were more chill she’d open up to you like she does with me.” Hobie teased as he downed his drink.


“I don’t need you to give me tips. And why would I want her to chill with me? She’s a colleague nothing more.”


“Don’t you want it to be more? Every time you look at her you always want to say som more my man.” Hobie laughed.


Miguel's jaw tensed as Hobie continued to tease him, hitting a nerve with his observations. He tried to maintain his cool facade, but deep down, he couldn't completely deny his attraction towards you.


"She is a colleague, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm oblivious to her charms," Miguel retorted, his tone defensive. "But I don't need to prove anything to you or anyone else. My relationship with her is strictly professional."


Hobie's laughter filled the air, his eyes gleaming mischievously. "Oh, come on, Miguel. We both know there's more there. The way your eyes follow her whenever she leaves the room, the way you listen so intently to her words. Admit it, Boss-man, you're smitten," he taunted, raising his glass in a playful toast.


Miguel gritted his teeth, his frustration mounting. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Hobie. Let's just enjoy the night, shall we?" he replied, his voice strained.


Hobie's smirk softened slightly as he realized Miguel's true struggle. He took a deep breath, changing the subject. "Yeah, you're right. Let's just enjoy the night. We'll see what happens," he said, subtly shifting the conversation away from their unspoken competition for your affection.


Miles and Gwen were holding their own as you walked back.


“Hey I’m pretty tired, tonight was amazing but I think I should call it a night.” You smiled up at him.


“Oh no love there’s no way I’m letting you go at such a late time. You can crash with me yeah?” Hobie suggested.


“You sure? I don’t wanna be a n-“ Hobie cut me off with a hug, “Nah, you’re good. You wanna head out now?” He asked as you nodded, “You cold?”


You nodded again, “A little, I left my jumper at HQ.” Hobie quickly smiled, “I’ll go grab mine and say goodbye yeah? I’ll see you.” He said as he kissed the side of your head, leaving you with a pissed off Miguel.


"I'll wait for you here, just say your goodbyes," you shouted out, feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety. You really did like Hobie, you just hoped this night went smoothly.


Miguel kept his irritation in check, but his eyes narrowed as he observed the intimate gesture between Hobie and you. He tried to push aside his feelings of jealousy, reminding himself that he had no claim over you.


“You okay there?” You asked Miguel as you waited for Hobie, you reached out and rested your hand on his upper arm, “You seem- tense.”


Miguel eyes raised instantly at the insinuation, but quickly lowered as he realised you didn’t mean it that way. “I’m, I’m okay. Just a bit stressed from-“


Your eyes were wide, completely engaged in the conversation and Miguel suddenly felt- watched. “It’ll be okay Miguel. You’ve got a brilliant team, as well as brain, at HQ and we’re always here to help you. You shouldn’t try to do everything yourself, least us help you from time to time. You should have a life, no offence, outside of work.” You answered with a smile.


Miguel's guarded expression softened as you reached out and placed a reassuring hand on his arm. He couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort from your touch, your genuine concern shining through.
As he looked at your hand he noticed the intricate patterns all over and couldn’t help the smile, “It looks beautiful, what is it?”
“It’s Henna or in Punjabi more so Mehndi. It’s derived from a certain plant and basically is used for special occasions or just in general. It’s temporary but depending on what brand you use it lasts longer.”
Miguel felt happy, for once, seeing you smile so much and talk with passion about your culture made him warm inside. 


For a brief moment, Miguel entertained the thought of confiding in you, opening up about the weight he carried as the leader of the Spider Society. The desire for someone to understand his struggles tugged at his heart, but the fear of vulnerability held him back.
As Miguel spoke, he couldn't help but notice the way you looked at him, your eyes filled with kindness and understanding. For a moment, the weight on his shoulders felt a little lighter.
Perhaps there was room for more than just work in his life.


He met your eyes, the sincerity shining through, and a faint smile tugged at his lips. "You're right, Y/n. I appreciate your support more than you know," he replied, momentarily forgetting the tension between him and Hobie.



“Yeah Hobie. You gonna be okay Mig?” You asked.
Miguel hesitated for a moment, torn between his desire to be honest with you and the fear of revealing too much. He finally settled on a composed expression, his voice tinged with a hint of fatigue. He’d been working so hard lately and with you on his mind always, it was hard to focus. “But back to you, Miguel, are you sure-”
"I'll be fine, Y/n. Just tired, like I said. You two go ahead and have a good night," Miguel replied, his tone gentle yet distant. He tried to mask any hint of disappointment as he averted his gaze.
You exchanged a concerned glance with Hobie before giving Miguel a reassuring smile. "Alright, if you say so. Take care of yourself, Miguel. We'll catch up soon," You said, voice filled with genuine care.
Miguel nodded in response, the weight of his emotions growing heavier. As he watched Y/n and Hobie walk away, he couldn't help but long for a different outcome, one where he could let down his guard and pursue a deeper connection with you.
But for now, he had to accept his role as your boss and put your guy’s professional relationship first.
Maybe one day, you’d choose him.
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cheshiresense · 9 months
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Hi Cheshire! Thank you so much for the Yuzu snippet! It was SO great. I LOVE how fucked up the Kurosaki family is (wonder what Isshin thinks of this? We saw a glimpse but like... Is he an outsider and tolerated because he's the Only Adult Around?). I! LOVE! Poison!Yuzu! It's so great, makes so much sense. Also the easy way everybody was like "Ah, yes, OF COURSE the bowls are poisoned." So Neat. So Fucked Up. Being real I came for the ShinIchi but the UraShinIchi is The Best Trio and I am SO here for it. The fact Ichigo has NO idea he likes Urahara? Amazing. The fact that Shinji is SO LONG the favorite? ALSO amazing. Usuallly with the trio it's almost always the other way around or UraShin incorporating Ichigo later, so It'd be nice to see how this mechanic develops.
I also love "Mizuiro-niisan." Cute and terrifying. I wanna know what you have prepared regarding Mizuiro, he was always one of the most fascinating characters in Bleach taht wasn't 'part of the plot' so to speak (c'mon, dude knows how to make a fucking Pipe Bomb and has a harem of older women. There's A Story. (Also does he still have the 'harem' here or...?))
Anyway thank you for the chapter
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! Lol Isshin is very much the outsider to his own family after Ichigo neutralized him, they're basically like two strangers who happen to live in the same house, and even then, Ichigo went and got his own apartment once he had the contacts for it. I wouldn't say he set out to alienate his sisters from Isshin, so long as Isshin wasn't hitting them too, he doesn't really care what their relationship is like, but considering Ichigo's also been pretty much raising them single-handedly for the past 6+ years, they're bound to learn from him when it comes to Isshin too. Plus they do remember the way Isshin used to smack Ichigo around before Ichigo put a stop to it. So anyway, the twins still talk to Isshin and let him be his loud dramatic self around them but there isn't really any love coming from their end when it comes down to it, and they live with their brother at the apartment half the time anyway. As for Ichigo, he actually doesn't hate Isshin or anything either after the man left him to his own devices and doesn't bother him anymore. And yeah, the fact that he's the nominal adult of the house is still useful since Ichigo's still underage. It's just that he also very much wouldn't care if Isshin kicked the bucket tomorrow.
The Urahara/Ichigo/Shinji is also a surprise to me lol. Tbh, I didn't really have a ship in mind when I first started this AU, but UraIchi is my otp so naturally if there is a ship, I'd go for that. But then I wrote Shinji, and suddenly ShinIchi became a lot more probable, and then I wrote the Yuzu POV and Urahara elbowed his way back into the race. So the most likely ship now would be UraIchiShin lol.
The UraIchi dynamic actually turned out pretty interesting in this 'verse cuz this Ichigo is the type to get rid of anything that irritates him. If it's annoying and cuts into his time, he's not the sort to put up with it. And yeah, Kisuke's strong enough with enough connections that if Ichigo wanted to off him or even just threaten him like he did Isshin, it would be really difficult at the moment, but at the very least, he'd still work towards it, and he wouldn't spend any time with the guy. But here he is inviting him over for dinner and letting him properly meet the twins and just generally tolerating his presence, something he's never done with anyone else before, and it's a toss-up whether he's even really aware of the exception he's making. And on Kisuke's part, he doesn't know Ichigo well enough yet to realize how much leeway Ichigo's given him.
This Ichigo is just Grudgingly Fascinatedᵀᴹ by this cryptic bastard making his life a lot more complicated than he'd like, but is also strong and smart and offered his life up on a platter the moment Ichigo asked for it like it's tradeable currency so whatever he wants Ichigo to do in exchange has to be something even Urahara can't do himself, and Ichigo has just enough curiosity for that to add to the fascination pile just as much as it adds to the annoying asshole pile. Meanwhile, Shinji's just chilling with his poison rice, and Sakanade thinks Ichigo is yum with an adorable kitten for a sister. TLDR they're a trainwreck in the making but a pretty entertaining one.
I'm not sure what I really want to do with Mizuiro here yet but I'm definitely giving him a powerup in the future, he's Ichigo's best friend here, as much as Ichigo or even Mizuiro can have friends, and Mizuiro is absolutely ride or die enough to invade Soul Society with him. Plus I'd like to see what I can do with a character who's not exactly a frontline fighter but not a healer either like Ichigo's canon friends.
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starfleetshrimps · 1 year
Text
i love star trek bc it's actually a high school theater production most of the time. We focus a lot on the over-acting, theatricality of the actors and the directors, and that's all well and amazing, but /I/ want to focus on the /TECH/ bc ASHAijnjsdnbhgaARREghghhuuagjkshdmhbAHJBSSHJHIEJBnkjsdjhbsdhjBmahbsjshsbHkjnswkjshsn yea.
FIRST THE SETS?!? they're so silly and stupid? i know they get a lot of shit but the amount of work (not to mention styrofoam) that went into building individual sets for each planet they went to? like sure about 50% of the away missions take place in the california desert (the arena, *cough cough*, etc) but the rest of them have individually made sets that look PRETTY GOOD MAN. they get the point across, they're FUN, and innovative, and they really don't reuse planet sets all that often as well.
PLUS they used traditionally /theatrical/ cycloramas with painted backgrounds and classical cyc lighting (reminiscent of mariano fortuny's domed cyc! i WILL talk more about lighting) which look really cool and once again get shit for being unrealistic.
it's not supposed to look realistic it's supposed to look cool as shit. and it does. shut up. <3
if you view the sets as being modern TV sets then yeah, they're weird, and they look sorta bad, but THEYRE NOT modern TV sets: they're THEATRICAL SETS FROM THE 60-70S. AND I LOVE THEM.
SECONDLY, THE
lighting
while it's true that some shows in the 60s were developing new lighting styles specifically for TV, remember that in the year 1950 less that 10 percent of US homes had a television. this shit was new. COLOR tv was ESPECIALLY new. nobody knew how to light these things! and actually why would you need a new lighting style, we already KNEW how to light dramatic productions, why would we ever need to reinvent the wheel Stanley Mccandles, Mariano Fortuny, and Gene Rosenthall already invented says Gene Roddenberry and Jerry Finnerman (the head lighting designer). and oh my god i am so ridiculously glad. because the lighting. is so good.
i HAVE seen others talking about how good it is in the super early episodes (Charlie X and the conscious of the King, etc.) and i do agree! but i disagree that the quality goes down. i think it just got a tad bit more subtle as the show went on and it gets less in your face, harder to notice. but i noticed. because I'M the WORST (and also a lighting tech)
the impossibility of listing every example of amazing theater lighting choice they made is absolutely horrific and nasty so i'll just lost some my my favorites:
the cyc! i mentioned before but the cyc they used on away missions was only painted when they needed a specific scene in the background, otherwise? that bitch was LIT. and i LOVE IT.
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any of the scenes where they light spock's face have green and half pink? or even just washing the walls behind him? i eat that shit UP. the METAPHOR. the CONFLICT. i will acquiesce that green and pink are (and were) pretty goddamn industry standard gels (color-films) to add to lights, for subtle contrast, but this is not subtle. it is LOUD. was it purposefully done from a storytelling perspective? no idea. is it cool as shit and interpret-able as hell? absolutely. also sometimes they do it with just green when they want to emphasize his vulcan-ness and other him a bit. like they do it a lot when he's in his room in amok time. anyway.
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whenever they shutter a light so they can emphasize a character's (kirk, we're talking abt kirk here. and *sometimes* spock, and also Charlie in Charlie X but yeah mostly kirk) eyes when they say something #Deep, or just pre-commercial break closure worthy line. it's so SHJSDJBFEJNKN. to add onto this, they'll do a striking half-wash over half of their face sometimes in conjunction and it looks So Good
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The GOBOS. sometimes, they'll just throw light through a gobo, or wall screen, or something, for /visual interest/ and it looks so silly i love it sm. does it make sense from a realism pov? nO. but star trek is a theater production actually and they lit everything using mainly naturalistic techniques! amazing!
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honorable mentions: the glowing time donut, and the entirely random colors in the hallway.
there are so many other examples but this post is long enough lmao. notice the lights next time you watch tos!!,! please!!! <3
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keeskiwi · 3 months
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I had a transgenderization surgery 1 month ago and I got the clear to stop wearing my post-op binder yesterday, and I keep feeling the desire to write out my thoughts somewhere but not knowing where, and then I remembered tumblr is The transgender website, so, you know, why not.
I had a double incision top surgery on January 30th. It feels pretty surreal in some ways. I first started experimenting with gender things in late 2010, grabbed a binder from Underworks in 2011, then kind of coasted along in a state of "well, a haircut, name change, and some new clothes have been working out for me mostly well enough and my breasts aren't that big anyway and maybe it's not a big deal even though every year I'll research if I can make my insurance cover it just in case and daydream a bit about something horrible happening that would require my breasts to get removed, with a side of quietly burning with envy when I see someone else get medical care for their dysphoria." For. A while.
Late 2022 I finally decided I would bring it up with my doctor, and after over a year of horrible insurance wrangling I finally ended up with a consult in early January, and then suddenly they called me back and said they could squeeze me in by the end of the month.
January 30th I got up at early-o-clock, went to the hospital, met my surgery team, got knocked out, and woke up with a new chest. I'm really glad I didn't have to travel for surgery and was back home that evening. Between that and having two partners (one of whom has had top surgery himself) to care for me afterwards, I feel really grateful.
Anyway yeah, this was the most significant surgery I've had before. It was your standard double incision, although I opted to go without nipple grafts, for a couple reasons:
I had heard that nips were kind of tricky healing-wise, and as a health-anxiety-prone kind of person I didn't really need the extra fear of something going wrong there in my life.
Especially because I didn't have any particular attachment to the idea of nipples in the first place. Sometimes I wonder if this was an extension of wearing a vaguely skin-tone binder for the past decade+. Any time I saw myself with a flattened chest, it was without nipples, because they were being hidden by the binder ha.
Additionally, a thing I've struggled with wrt medical transition is that it often feels like the goal for my agab is to transition towards masculinity, and while I'm okay being mistaken as male (especially over being mistaken as female) it's actually kind of important to me that I'm...not male? Masculinity as gender neutrality is something that really irritates me. I'm not any flavor of trans guy. So going no-nips felt like a way to make a conscious change to my body that was perpendicular to the masculinity/femininity binary.
And finally, while exploring the concept I found out that some people really hate the idea of people transitioning to having nippleless chests, because to be human is to have nipples (I guess?) so removing your nipples was trying to remove yourself from humanity (I??? guess???) and while there's a LOT to unpack there, as someone with only a passing identification with the concept of humanity I found this appealing in a "don't threaten me with a good time" kind of way.
Maybe I'll just get tattoos of wasps there instead.
The first time I saw myself at my first post-op was like--my chest is covered in incisions and tape and dried blood and marker and swelling but somehow it was still the most comfortable and appealing thing I had ever seen, and I keep feeling kind of amazed? I think that I had been really focused on like, specific Things I Could Do Post-Top Surgery, like wearing better-fitting T-shirts or taking my shirt off during the summer when it was hot, and I didn't fully realize just how...good it would be just existing? At first I thought it was hyperbolic thinking, but the more I consider it the more I feel that I've spent more time voluntarily looking at and interacting with my chest in the past month than I have the whole rest of my life. Some of it was forced aftercare from the surgery of course, but I lose a bunch of time each day just getting caught in front of mirrors. I didn't realize that I could like the way I look under my clothing so much.
And things like, realizing I've been saying "my chest [euphemistic, regretful]" in regards to my breasts my whole life, so I keep wanting to say "I don't have a chest anymore"--but the thing is, I do! I do have a chest still, and "my chest" is now something I feel happy to claim because I got to choose it. It's a little ouchy and lumpy and at the moment it looks like someone taped poison ivy to it because my skin finally got sick of the surgery tape and staged a revolt, but it's still the best chest I've had in living memory, and it's only going to get better from here.
I'm just really happy.
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