#anyway whenever im like 'i should draw' the only things that i can draw
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shout out to all of the artists who just dont really have ocs or blorbos. literally what do we even draw most of the time.
#ughh#bro i just felt shakey and sick because i contemplated drawing#its the same feeling i had when i did maths in school#i feel bad because i should be good at this i should draw everyday and i should be constantly improving#and while im not really improving my art at home i am certainly improving technically for work#so weirdly enough although ive done the least amount of art in the last year or two that i have ever my improvement has#has been very oddly massive.#but ive also stopped improving in certain areas and god knows my rendering hasnt improved#but i also... hate rendering a lot#so :/#well no. not completely#anyway whenever im like 'i should draw' the only things that i can draw#are either from reference or its just my own sona in many different styles that i cant decide on#ugh
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Invitation to talk about Sayuri and Nymie?
:D CAN OF WORMS: OPENED!! i'll tell u abt how they got found as Jedi
ok so Sayuri is one of the students that doesn't rlly go home bc there isn't much to go back to. Basically her parents were Rebellion pilots (or one was a pilot the other a mechanic. kinda unsure) but were both killed in action against the Empire abt 3-4ABY ish. obvs the Rebellion couldn't look after a 7-8yo while fighting the Empire
so the remainder of the squad manage to get her back to her parents' home village/ where she was born. so having like Everything change all at once leaves her pretty ?? and gives her some serious trusting-her-environment issues. her coolgirl "i dont care" persona is very much a result of this bc she's worried abt getting too comfy in smthn. (which is at odds w the OTHER issue she got from this event which is "deathly afraid of flying" an issue not helped if Master "traffic laws are just guidelines" Skywalker is piloting. but she tries 2 act like shes fine)
this is gonna get kinda long so im gonna smack some unposted art here and then go into a readmore
anyway fast forwarding to when Sayuri's abt 13 (roughly 9aby) she's visiting her parent's old squadron on a New Republic bc they'd all come visit whenever she could and after the Empire's fall they did a lot more pick her up and fly her to a base to ALL see her. and they're like omg Sayuri you came at the PERFECT time bc this rlly amazing pilot war hero who's also some like. mystical whatever is here!! he's on his way to some magic place we heard. maybe u can meet him!! which sayuri meets w her usual whatever bc she's not that gassed abt war heroes.
very worth noting that the squad's probably all seen her move shit with her mind, but theyre like oh you know how it is with teenage girls. the "nobody knows what a jedi is" + "the empire existed for a decent bit of her childhood" thing has kept anyone from being like yeahh sayuri should like. talk to someone abt this.
anyway she goes along when the squad are like c'mon let's see if we can see him. ok the only way i can describe this is you know the spiderverse like... spidey-sense recognition thing? that's basically what happens LOL Luke and Sayuri both have a FORCE USER RECOGNISED?? moment and Luke then makes a beeline for her then realises oh shit tiny teenager not jedi. would you LIKE to be a jedi?? and sayuri who hates her village and is feeling the strongest emotional connection she's felt in forever w this stranger she met 2 seconds ago is like okay fuckin sure yeah. and woo jedi!!
i posted my unposted nymie art yesterday but likkeeee pretend theres some here <3
So Sayuri falls into the "one of the Jedi found them thru the force or by chance" category of students who get found. However Nymie very much falls into the second category, which is "CAN SOMEONE DEAL WITH THIS WEIRD SUPERPOWERED CHILD FOR US????"
So 2 things about Nymie: 1. like i've said before, she's from a very rich high class pantoran family. super stuck up, mostly raised by nannies & tutors, but somehow Nymie just didn't get the stuck-up genes like all her (4!!) siblings who are just obsessed w their social standing etc and is instead just :D all the time. 2. her proficiency ig is the living force esp in the 'good at connecting to animals' way (which I think means I legally need to draw her w Ezra).
so the former often led her to escaping her family's stuffy parties and galas or whatever (usually to whoever's house it is' garden or somewhere she wasnt meant to be) to find something interesting. usually a pet <3 one particular time when she was 9 she was following her Pet Sense but couldnt find anything in the house. so she kinda just reached out more and long story short thats how Nymie managed to call this hugemassive beast (i'd tell u what it was if i knew pantoran animals LOL) out of the nearby countryside to her. massively distressing for everyone, all these rich ppl were like "OH MY GOD I NEARLY DIED" (it didnt attack anyone). very funny exciting time for Nymie who was enjoying this new beastie friend til animal control showed up. saddening. everyone is confused bc HOW did that happen
a dude old (and cool) enough to have seen more than one jedi in their heyday (+ idk uni researcher knows his shit) noticed what happened w it going straight to Nymie and overheard her account and realised what happened and was like hi nymie's parents. i think u need to get into contact w the new republic bc thats a jedi right there (which they take and go oo social climbing. we have a jedi child people will think we're cooler. bc theyre assholes)
and yeah im losing steam now but luke shows up and she joins the academyyay!
#i tried to NOT go on a 2000 hour ted talk#bc im pretty sure i could give a solid 5k of meta on top of any explanations of abt... 95% of my OCs lolll#which does mean this comes off as a lil messy but hey#sayuri ireshla#nymie#oc#original characters#luke's students
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HIII i was scrolling through ig and i came across this video and i immediately thought of aaron when he's away from a case and then reader and their kids facetime him AAAAAAA IT'S SO CUTE I LOVE DAD!AARON SM🥰🥰💗💗 (also im new to the fandom and this is my first time requesting and i love your stories sm anyways have a nice day/evening ahead!) https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cv-QhCIAx7R/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Missing You
Warnings: Mentions of cases, a little sad stuff because he can't be home :(, much fluff and happy stuff 🥰, not proofread, let me know if I missed anything<3
Word count: 943
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader
A/n: Hi darling! Thank you so much for coming to me with your first request 🥹🫶. I hope you like it 🥰. That video was so adorable by the way and Aaron would definitely do that 😭 I love our man 🥹.
Forever tags: @greg-montgomery @boredelle @hotchsdoormat @ssahotchnerr @cr1minalskies @beardedhotchh @hotchnerbau @ssamorganhotchner @mrs-ssa-hotch @canuck-eh @luvehotch @callm3c0nfus3d
Hotch: @14buddy22 @pastanoodles11 @htchnr
Let me know if you want to be added to my tags 🫶
Whenever Aaron is away on a case you all miss him dearly just as he misses you. He does his best to keep in contact with you throughout his day and then before the kiddos go to bed he tries to make sure he can facetime you all before they go to sleep.
The little Hotchner bugs are always excited when they get to see their dad even if it's only over a video call. He still manages to make it fun for all of you even if he can't actually be there. It's always a nice way to end his day. It's more than just missing you all but he also needs to make sure his little family is okay. Especially if it's a case involving kids. He always calls more when children are involved.
"Daddy's calling! Answer it answer it!" Your little girl is yelling excitedly when Aaron's contact pops up and you immediately press the answer button. When his face shows on the screen you smile and wave at him before the little Hotchner bugs steal the device from you, not that you mind.
"Daddy! Look look! I made this for you for when you come back home!" Little girl Hotchner holds up a drawing she had made earlier that day. It's the four of you, or at least it's supposed to be. It's really just four colourful blobs. One is you, another is Aaron, and the other two are her and Jack.
"And I made this for you in school!" Jack shows Aaron his own art piece which is definitely easier to make out but both are equally loved by you and Aaron.
"Those are both beautiful! They should be in an art museum." Aaron smiles big and it warms your heart.
You all tell Aaron about how your day went and he listens with that same grin as his little bugs ramble on and on happily. Jack's sister tends to go off topic more often than not but Aaron doesn't mind. Neither of you do. He's just happy to hear their voices and see their faces.
"Daddy what happened! You look like a kitty!" Your little girl exclaims when the face of an animated cat covers Aaron's and moves when he turns his head or talks. You're giggling as he talks to them and pretends not to know what they're talking about. Then it turns to a dog and Jack laughs as your little girl gets a confused, but joyful expression on her face.
"Daddy, can you do a T-rex? Please?" Jack asked as he looks at the screen in front of you all.
"Oh no. What's that sound?" You can hear what you think is Aaron imitating a dinosaur and then the dog face goes away and is replaced by Jack's request.
"Rawr!" All three of you giggle when you see it and you hear Aaron's big laugh come through the speaker and your heart flutters at the sound. You miss him but you understand he can't be there as much as you all wish he could and that's why you always make as much time for things like this as you all can when he's away. It's important to all of you that you spend time together even if it's just a video call. It's still special to all of you.
Eventually you have to end the call because the little loves need to go to sleep, everyone is disappointed and they both bed for five more minutes. Of course you give in. They miss Aaron and you won't deny them that time with him as long as it's not insanely late and as long as he doesn't need to leave so he can work.
After the five minutes is up, Aaron tells them it's time for bed and they both frown but nod in understanding.
"I miss you all and I love you. I want you both to be good for your mother, okay? I should be home in a couple of days and then we can do whatever you want. How does that sound?" He smiles at the end and they both cheer up and nod eagerly.
After you all say goodbye and hang up you don't get them ready to go to sleep right away. Instead you all make a little video telling Aaron you love him and saying good night then send it to him. You know he feels a little down when you have to end the call and you want him to have something to bring his spirits up a little bit.
That's when you finally get the Hotchner babes ready and give them their nightly forehead kiss good night. You always give them both two kisses each when Aaron is away. One from you and one from him. Which they both return to you. One for you and one for their dad.
It's hard to be away from Aaron but you know it's even harder for him. When he's away you still have the little ones. It always makes you sad so you're constantly sending him photos and videos of you and your sweethearts so he still has some of the feeling of being home. It helps him get through those rough cases and he saves every single memory you send him.
When he finally gets home he's been so kept up with everything from the calls and messages that it almost feels like he wasn't even away. You make sure to keep him well informed on all three of you so he doesn't feel like he's missing out as much and he's incredibly grateful to you for it.
#anon🩶#aaron hotchner#hotch#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotchner x female reader#aaron hotchner x you#hotch x reader#hotch x fem!reader#hotch x female reader#hotch x you#aaron hotchner blurb#hotch blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#hotch drabble#dad!hotch#mon answers🩷#hotch🌜
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The DNI that made you do math to use it?? 👀👀👀
Youre the first one who asked, so you get the answer.
This person was one of the other two weirdos from the Half Life RP discord server i teased at in this post earlier this week:
Once again, i want to disclaimer that this is not a callout post, I will not be giving any details that could be used to identify this person, and I will not be posting screenshots this time because they are still active on tumblr afaik. I dont want this to be used to bully anybody, this is just meant to be my personal experience with my specific side of this story. You can DM me directly or throw in a private answer request in an ask if you want screenshots, but only people i already know and trust not to cyberbully them will get a direct link to the DNI. The person in the story I linked is no longer active anywhere online, which is why I provided screenshots in that story.
And before i lay out the DNI details, I just want to say... there is a FINE LINE between requesting accommodations for a mental illness and infantilizing yourself. I can handle the former just fine, I will do all I can to help, but if you're a grown-ass adult babying yourself and then going "waa im autistic i cant do anything" i have ZERO tolerance for that. Buddy, I'm autistic, and I'm telling you to grow the fuck up.
Yeah, this person was one of those. They were over 18, and had public breakdowns about how everything was just soooo hard for them and everybody else was being problematic and ableist for *checks notes* asking them to wait in a line that was a little long for a new phone plan. Real example, they were screaming and crying in the vent channel because the line at a verizon store was a little long, and implying their father was ableist for asking them to wait for 20 minutes. Buddy, there are some things you JUST need to deal with in the real world regardless of whatever mental soup you have going on. If your autism is that bad, the solution is looking into things like noise canceling headphones, sunglasses, etc. But the world will not stop having lines that you just need to wait in sometimes because you dont like them.
I know that sounds harsh, but they werent exactly the type of person im willing to give the benefit of the doubt to. The majority of their problems were entirely their own fault, and they were clearly enabling and feeding the harder parts of their autism rather than doing anything in the way of learning to cope with it. I am terrified of spiders, like full on panic-inducing terrified of them, but I throw hands at them instead of running or freezing up. One time, I posted a photo of this gigantic-ass spider that was in my dorm room after I screamed and squashed it with my heavy duty winter outdoor patrol boots (im a security guard, not a cop, before anyone draws the wrong conclusion from that), and they proceeded to vague about me IN THE SAME SERVER about how problematic and insensitive i am for triggering their arachnophobia. My brother in christ when did you ever say you were triggered by spiders? Do you expect me to read your fucking mind?
Another instance was when they asked for the role to access the nsfw channel. They were over 18, so it was granted. They then got mad at us whenever we got horny on main in the sex channel because they were only there for the dirty jokes (that were posted in the main server anyway because none of us consider JOKES to be inappropriate). They literally asked for the sex channel role and then claimed we were being problematic because we talked about sex in the sex channel when they were uncomfortable with sex. And they had borderline puritan attitudes around sex. They acted like sex was icky and gross and should never be discussed around them lest it corrupt their pure innocent soul. Yeah thats your own fault chief, grow the fuck up.
Some lightning round stories: they broke up with their boyfriend purely because he liked "irredeemable media" and when said boyfriend said they were being a total dick for that, they proceeded to whine and cry that he was actually being abusive and terrible for being upset that he was dumped over the fucking movies he liked of all things. They once sat outside their little siblings recital and complained that their parents were problematic for not charging their switch enough because it died at the same recital they couldnt be assed to sit in for because "waaaa its too boring and thats bad for my autism." Didnt even TRY, just sat outside the door playing switch and then complained that their parents didnt charge their switch enough. Can you not plug something into a wall your damn self.
Needless to say, i didnt like them very much. I can handle legitimate accommodations, but they were just so self-infantilising that they gave the rest of us a bad name. Your autism is not an excuse to act like a fucking baby. You are not made of porcelain, you will not shatter at the slightest touch, being uncomfortable is a part of life youre going to have to deal with. Its not your autism at this point, youre a grown-ass adult who throws a tantrum when the line is a little long. GROW. UP.
Now that that rants over, lets get into what the DNI on their blog was like, because this behavior from them that I just outlined really contextualizes it.
Their DNI had two tiers. The first was "red flags," which meant that if you met any one of them you apparently werent allowed to interact. Of this included your typical nazis, pedophiles, terfs, and... beastars fans. No word of a lie. Being a fan of beastars was apparently just as bad as being a nazi. What did my boy legosi do to you? (Side note: i am forever enamored with how these people seem to think that theres people out there who both self-identify as nazis and would respect a DNI. I didnt even respect that DNI. I didnt interact with them because i thought they were a terrible person, but i did not take that DNI seriously. I was openly posting about beastars in the same server LMAO) and it wasn't just beastars, there was a ton of media that i didnt even know had discourse around them that they listed as red flags if you ever touched. Amazing.
The second tier was "yellow flags" which meant that you werent allowed to interact if you met any 3 or more of them. Here was mostly media, including homestuck fans, neil gaiman fans (WHAT DID NEIL DO TO YOU), and harry potter iirc. (WHY DID YOU SINGLE OUT BEASTARS?? WHAT DID MY BOY LEGOSI DO TO YOU) my favourite part of this though, was that republicans were listed under yellow flags. Apparently its worse to be a beastars fan than a republican. We arent gonna fucking make it
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don't really have time or energy to draw this right now so. you're getting it in writing instead
It's not your birthday. At best, you would call it a day that someone who was you once was familiar with.
One that he didn't like either. Sure, you'd pretend to be him for a bit, accept some birthday wishes for him. But it wasn't your birthday. Not to you, at least. You think they all understand, to a point. Dirk does, at least.
That was why you weren't prepared to humour this conversation.
TG: this is hal isnt it
TG: not mad jst
TG: how do i say this?
TT: It seems there's a fairly large chance you're accusing me of not being myself, based off of a totally bullshit statistic.
TT: Care to elaborate?
TG: if u want me to tell u happy birthday 2 i can lmao
TG: dont hafta be weird about impersonatin dirk for that!!!
TT: I...
TT: Sorry. Holdon.
TT: There we go.
TT: As I was about to say, it's not technically my birthday. It's Dirk's. I wasn't even created today.
TT: I'll relay your well-wishes to him whenever he returns. Don't need to ask me about it.
TG: hmm nah i think i like havin' a hold of u for this
TG: if ur like
TG: not REALLY him
TG: but have his memories and shit
TG: todays ur day too
TG: so happy b-day! im not takin' that back either!
TT: ...
TT: I should go.
TT: Dirk probably won't like me monopolizing his account, even if he isn't here.
TT: Thanks, I guess.
You log off without another word, back in your sort-of space. Maybe you'll check in with Jane in a bit. Maybe you'll go through the internet for no apparent reason.
You can't say that that made you feel human. Or that it made you feel better, but... it made you think. It made you feel something. That was a start, right?
---
A firm series of slaps to the back of the cue-ball/head drags you out of your reverie. It's Itchy, hand poised to continue slapping you if you don't acknowledge him.
"Apologies. I must have became lost in thought," you begin, "as tends to happen with the omniscient. That said, there are better ways to get my attention."
Itchy shrugs and tells you he doesn't give a shit. He was just the fastest. The Felt needs you for somethin'. Somethin' he can't tell you about.
"Vague and somewhat sarcastic as always, Itchy. Just get to the point."
He just tells you you're no fun, before half dragging you out of one of your many studies. The whole manor is technically your study. But especially this one.
Itchy only bothers to take you about halfway, to where Crowbar is standing and waiting. He hardly says goodbye before dashing off to who-knows-where, probably to cause trouble somewhere else.
You pretend you don't know what's being hidden from you. You could figure out, and in the back of your mind you have figured out. But surprise is an emotion you like trying to fake.
Sometimes you wish you weren't faking it.
Crowbar walks up to you, with some off-handed comment about how he didn't expect Itchy to get you there on time. Or at all. He can never tell. Nonetheless, he's slightly more gentle when he offers you his hand, like he's not about to effectively drag you across an entire manor.
You don't remember the last time you've had actual contact with someone in a way that wasn't violent. You're not sure it's ever happened, honestly. (In reality, you know that isn't true. You were an indigoblood once, you recall. It's not as clear as the other memories, though.)
Crowbar's hand is felted, unsurprisingly, almost like a pool table. Again. Unsurprising. It's never surprising, but you commit the texture to memory anyway, all but ignoring what he's actually talking about. Something about a celebration.
He says they got the table stickball table fixed, and your attention is drawn again.
"Just call it a pool table."
He says he doesn't feel like it. It's a ball you hit with a stick on a table. Ain't a pool in sight. You agree, silently. The Alternian names for things were as foreign as they were ingrained; you knew them as much as you didn't know them.
Eventually, you're led into what you believe is the living room, and Crowbar lets go of your hand. You don't immediately adjust to the lack of feeling in your hand, almost like you were... severely touch-starved, actually, or something.
That's ridiculous, of course. You aren't technically alive, even if you're not as "soon to die" as you once were.
Someone, you think it could be Quarters, explains that all the Felt knows it isn't technically your birthday, and that it's only such by a few tangents. (You mentally add on that you weren't even created today).
But, Quarters adds, you've been stuck in a rut of sorts for a while. It wasn't really anyone's idea, he says. But it was agreed that it might get you feeling better for a while.
And, for once, you feel surprise. You never thought that they actually cared. Or even noticed. You're just their boss, of course. You're hardly even there.
(You have spent the past few months only leaving the Manor when you absolutely have to.)
You can't say it makes you feel alive. Or better, really. But it made you think. It made you feel something.
And, as you're dragged to play table stickball with Trace and Sawbuck, you decide that's a start.
#long post#scratch.txt#toying with this cueball man's brain#//#hehe#honestly i don't think i COULD have drawn this if i wanted to. so. here.
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Heya, Milk! You got any advice for somebody who wants to start taking commissions but doesnt know where to start? I been drawing for a while (about 10 years), but I never tried selling my art before. It's kinda scary. I don't need a lot of money right now, so it's not urgent, ive just heard people say it's good experience. Is it worth trying at all rn? Sorry if you answered something like this before
no worries!! i dont think anyones asked me about this stuff before tbh... im in a similiar boat where i dont really do these out of necessity lol its definitely worth it!! if u thought about it even briefly its worth it to try
its been a hot minute since ive first started taking comms but i guess these would do for starters:
- your following might affect comm interest - i would only get very sporadic ones for the longest time unless i undersold (DO NOT DO THIS GET UR MONEYS WORTH) so dont get discouraged at first is what im saying. get ur pals to promo the announcement posts and put urself out there and eventually someone will get interested
- you can start small and lowkey. if u wanna just dip your toes in the commissions water before doing full blown pieces its absolutely ok to start with doodle or sketch comms. they tend to be cheaper and attract client bases that way anyway - so its a win win! low stakes and you can slowly figure out what works for you
- for the love of god make a TOS. having a document of things that are and arent allowed that u can point at whenever somebody tries to pull a fast one on you is a lifesaver. mines really thorough but i like to cover all the bases
- pretty much at every step where youd think 'going back to fix something after this part would be a pain in the ass' stop and send the progress to ur client and ask if anythings off or needs fixing before you keep going. better safe than sorry. in general be communicative and upfront about any info with ur commissioner - its a nice thing to do and will make both of ur lives easier!
- make sure ur comm post includes clear examples of the kind of art u can offer - this is gonna be the forefront that attracts ppls attention! they should know what theyll be getting
- set up a comm only email or a google form for taking in comms its. much easier to keep track of things this way. actual communication can go somewhere else but its good to have a single place just for the actual initial inquiries etc.
I RAN MY MOUTH LOL. if u have other specific questions feel free to ask for a follow up i suppose!! these are just the ones i wish i thought of when i first started. i hope ur commissions journey goes well, im rooting for ya !!!!!!!
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YOOOOOO whenever i see your meta posts or analysis or posts i go fucking wild.
Youare like Tomatograter's type of successor u just rose from the deep darks of the fandom and decided it was ur turn . i mean this, of course, in a psotiive way
I love your writing so much, you get their points so right and also you feed the pumpkin patch fandom very well and we really appreciate it, sheesh!!!!!
i would love to say more about how i love ur thinking but thats the thing, cant put it in words!!!
since im here already, i was wondering, do you think they would ever marry ? (and/or divorce lmao)
Thankyou!!! I had to sit down for a moment.. being compared to such a legend.. *shakes my head* my ego has been stroked, the fire is blazing, and ten children have died in the blaze.
At least i hope i am. I'm touched, i just suddenly appeared and started talking and all you funny people crawled out of the woodworks and started following me like little pikmin. That's a funny image in my head. Ok i took a break to draw it out and it is funny. It is really funny haha.
Tbh i just talk a lot to myself and i decided to put it somewhere other than the walls of my own room for once and captchalogue the lot because i talk a lot. To myself. Most of the time i look back and i think to myself "what was even the point i didnt even make a conclusion im going to fail my english major" but then i remember im not in school anymore so teachers can shove it.
I love dirkjake i'm actually pretty insane about it but i think that's obvious. I'm one snickers away from insane posting about them conciously and only the influx of voices i get about it staves me from putting it on my keyboard. I so get the feeling of not being able to put it in words. But anyways I've talked enough and i drew all of you guys as pikmin so as i was saying.
The only marriage i can see for Dirkjake is either one where they buy rings and then have icecream in 7/11 and then immediately forget about it until sometime they laugh about how they had that nonlegal marriage that one time. Maybe an exchange of vows but they really don't seem like wedding guys. The other option is one where one of them tricks the other into signing marriage nuptials which is really funny to me.
HOWEVER WITH THAT IN MIND. Im a BIG fan of them divorcing as many times per their whims. I think it should be a fucking bit. Like the divorce office has an entire department because they're like regulars at a goddamn bar they can't stop divorcing each other. Addiction is a terrible thing.
dirk texts roxy "Jake and I are eloping to the Bahamas." and then approximately ten minutes later "Jake and I are getting divorced in the Bahamas."
the way their friends know theyve divorced again is when dirk starts posting grindr screenshots making fun of the ppl he talks to on there. He has a priv account and he meets trashy guys and posts their credit card info on his priv for jane and roxy to freely use.
jane and roxy are out for brunch and jane gets a message asking about commissioning a cake and jane excitedly opens it, then loudly sighs and puts her phone screen-down on the table and roxy goes "divorce again?" and jane says "divorce again."
every time they get a cake from jane they ask her to write some funny joke about divorce on it but eventually she starts writing "get your shit together" instead.
jake says something kinda stupid and dirk says "i want a divorce" and everyone in the room laughs but dirk is dead fucking serious.
They're this one video from danny gonzalez. Holy shit do i have so much to say about divorce. Take a photo of me and my boyfriend.
#asks#dirkjake#dirk strider#jake english#homestuck#homestuck meta#oh boy this is a long one#im funny i swear#borzoi talks#borzoi meta
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a desertduo fic based on the songAugust by flipturn
it’s so them right im not delusional
August: a song about a relationship that only works out during the month of august, wherein it seems perfect. After august it falls apart, until the next august comes around.
title: octagonal
wordcount: 971
rating: T
ao3: HERE
“Hey, catch.”
Grian barely had time to finish pulling off his sweater before something equally as red entered his peripheral. He jumped backwards with a squeak and a fluff of wings, the object landing by his feet with a thud. An apple, shiny like glass under the desert sun.
“That wasn’t… you can’t just throw things at me, Scar—” the words were annoyed but laced with amusement as he adjusted his tank top. “—and expect me to react on time.”
“Well,” Scar bit into his own fruit like an animal, juice running down his fingers, down his wrist, down his arm. “What if I’d been an enemy?”
“You aren’t.”
“And…! —And what if that had been TNT.”
Grian sighed. “Then I wouldn’t have wanted to catch it, would I?”
Scar took a second, canting his head and staring at him, apple frozen in motion towards his mouth. Then, the lightbulb went off. “Oh…” a chuckle. “Oh, I guess not.”
It was contagious; the way they bickered and laughed, the constant back and forth as they worked. Hands splintered from planks of wood, then calloused from rough sandstone bricks. The foundations of their new …home… were beginning to take place.
(Really, it was Grian doing the work. Scar stood around shirtless and thought up ways to scam people.)
The sun, high in the sky, unchanging as they changed beneath it.
————————————-
The new world was different.
Grian noticed it from day one; the shift in tone, they went from orange to blue.
It didn’t help that there was the looming threat of what everyone was calling ‘the boogeyman’. As if they were twelve. As if the insatiable, sudden need to kill one of your friends was as light as the stories parents told their children so that they would go to sleep.
Maybe it was, Grian hadn’t experienced either.
But he felt the effects. People stood further away during conversations, hands itching by their sides ready to draw. No one wanted to be alone, either, but it was worse to be alone with another. Anyone could turn. Anyone could kill.
The curse brought on an ultimatum: them or you. And who in their right mind wouldn't choose the former?
It was dark when he saw Scar for the first time. Part of him knew he should be cautious, memories burnt fresh into his brain of blood on his sword, in his hair, his skin. Together they had taken down everything and everyone, including themselves. Behind that annoying lopsided smirk and fake diamond armour, Scar hid what he was capable of.
Grian wasn’t scared of his violence. No, no. His words, they were a completely different thing to fear.
“...So I can’t put you on the back of a llama and take you to the desert?”
It hurt, in an unexpected way. The type of way where you end up angry at yourself for not preparing on time. His mental walls were only half constructed, architecturally weak, and Scar had found the point to prod on his first try. Grian laughed, shrill and light as his heart crawled further inside.
He needed severance.
“Hey… have you tried transferring a life yet?”
The new world was different.
“No, I haven’t!”
He would be different.
————————————-
His throat stung, dehydrated lips cracked. Grian’s scream would unendingly echo throughout the ravine.
He waited, and waited, and waited. Alone in the desert, dizzy with heatstroke, uncertain of what was to come. When Scar finally showed up, he wasn’t sure if he was real or a mirage; he spoke to him anyway.
The flowers. Lilacs and poppies. Grian clutched the wilted bundle in his fist, torn between them and the new shade of Scar’s eyes.
“Can we still be friends?”
Could they? Did Grian care if they couldn’t? It was just stupid rules of a stupider game. Half of everything was made up on the fly, and the other half broken whenever someone felt like it. They were too carefree, when nothing was there to enforce them.
Grian didn’t want to admit it, but somewhere along the muddied lines, his obligation had grown into greedy devotion. He needed Scar, and Scar needed him. At least if they got any more parasitic the vultures would have something to feast on.
“I think so? I still owe you my first life,” and the one after that, and the one after that.
They rearranged their sleeping quarters that night, silently communicating as they pushed two beds together. It was sticky and humid, but their hands stayed entwined until morning.
Grian left the flowers on the windowsill, with thought that they would dry.
————————————-
Grian had never experienced the boogeyman curse, but he had felt the effects.
“At least his bed is out here, so we don’t have to ruin his lovely house.”
That was something, right?
They had built the obsidian spawn-camping death trap OUTSIDE of his lovely house. For that, Grian deserved a pat on the back. Joel gave him a funny look as the words left his mouth, the absurdity of the situation crawling down his spine.
They needed these lives. Scar… Scar had too many. He didn’t need them like him and Joel did. —- Hell, he would lose them himself soon enough. All they were doing was stopping such an important resource from going to waste.
The method was… justified.
So when Scar refused their offer, backing away from his beloved mountain, spewing lies, silver tongue tangled, Grian didn’t feel bad, loading his crossbow with bolt after bolt. Each one finding a place in flesh, in armour. Scar had made his choice.
At the end of the day, his heart was just a muscle behind his sternum.
And Grian only knew how to touch skin when it was to brush away stray grains of sand.
#scarian#desert duo#hermitshipping#ask#last life#third life#the desert is their august <3 fear not it will come around again#sry if u didnt want something sadish lol august isnt a happy song i dont think#thank u tho anon i freaking LOVE flipturn i am so glad u sent this its SO them#i have some prompts left to fill but feel free to send more!!! anyone for dd or ethubs#this is switching between tl and ll if its not easy to tell
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hii!
hope it’s cool to message you, I need some art advice again.
so I wanna do a pinup style drawing of some of the jojos but I’m having difficulty finding what I want for a pose with the mens pinups. I did find it in the women’s pinup though or least closer then the guys.
My question is how do i translate it into a male character, i struggle with making men look masculine & not just some bimbofied version, i can get the pose without to much trouble but making it in a way it still reads as a guy is where I struggle?
I don’t know how else to word it shsbs but if you have any advice or tips I’d appreciate it
sorry it took me a while to answer this hehe
so yeah, first off i gotta say, whenever you see tutorials where people draw men and women like different species, click away thats not a place of honour theres nothing of value there. you know the kind of tutorials i mean, men have a thousand billion more muscles than normal and women have a thigh gap and somehow still thick thighs but also no internal organs and boobs for days. sure, muscles are fun to draw, curvy bodies are fun to draw, but everyone please trust me you will not get better at drawing if youre using these kinds of tutorials hgjdsghs you wont learn anatomy from them, theyre not only anatomically incorrect theyre also just..... bad
OKAY ANYWAYS. i based these following sketches on a painting by donald rust (i think, i dont know anything about american artists sorry) when i find a pose to use for a drawing but the person in the drawing looks different or has another body shape, i try to imagine 1) whats the skeleton inside them doing? and 2) what are the basic shapes here doing?
and to be clear i NEVER sketch things with like, lines and balls!! ive said this before but i honestly dont think thats a productive way of sketching, so i rather think in oval soft shapes for the body. if that makes sense
so, take this pose as an example. as ive written in the sketch, pinup art is, at least as far as i can see, about pushing a pose to look more pleasing. the hips and waist are doing most of the work here, but if we want to draw say, oh, idk, a stiff lanky neapolitan cowboy with no ass and broad shoulders, we could let the upper body do most of the "pose-pushing" instead!
this way, instead of drawing the eye to the hips and waist, the shoulders are in focus! its still the same pose and i wouldn't say its the manliest of poses, but it still reads as a man. i guess. does any of this make any sense?
on an ending note i do think bimbofying male characters are fun and we should do it more idc put that man in silly little poses or whatever. he'll loosen up with some yoga im sure
OKAYYYY i hope this helped at least somewhat! im not the best teacher but hopefully me visualising it helps a little
#i actually think its very fun sharing little art tips and the way i think about art#i gotta finish this gyro sketch someday this actually turned out pretty cute#gyro zeppeli#art tutorial#art tips#corps.art#ask#long post#i guess
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Hey! First of all let me start by saying that I LOVE your writing (one shots? Im not familiar with fanfic terms lol), everytime I see you answering an ask and is under read more? Fuck yeah! Im eating well tonight!!! (That being said dont feel obligated to answer this like that lol)
I was just thinking about Water 7 (because us Usopp girlies/gender neutral/ are never leaving that arc down) and the fact that after getting beat up Usopp is shown to have bandages all over his body, but later when he heals he doesnt seem to have any scars, and in the sense of the show it makes sense, but 👀 i feel theres lots of angst potential for him to have some scarring from his time against the Franky Family, after all Chopper only treated him at first, the rest of the wounds care was done by Usopp. I feel theres great Usopp angst potential in seeing these scars as shameful because they keep reminding him of his actions in water 7, Franky angst because every time he sees those scars he remembers a beat up Usopp, hell angst for the whole crew remembering their darkest time as a crew
And if we want to make it ZoLuSanUso (because of course were going to!!) angst of their little breakup arc and how they couldnt protect usopp at that moment 😭
Aaah I’m so happy you enjoy my writing! I honestly hadn’t planned on writing anything for this fandom because whenever I enter a new fandom I prefer posting art and even though I enjoy writing a little here and there much like my art/fandom art in general they are just snippets of a larger story lol. Which is something you can get away with drawing but not writing. I wish I could write a full fledged slowburn for the ot4 god that would be the dream but executing something like that well is a lot of work and I’m weak of spirit I’m afraid😩 that being said I did write a little something inspired by my latest ot4 drawing(and isn’t that a beautiful circle being inspired to draw and being inspired to write by your own drawing as you draw lol) I just need to edit it and I’ll post it tomorrow(and yeah they’re called oneshots😊) just seeing your nice message inspired me to work on it some more so that’s why it took me a bit to answer(also it takes me longer to see asks because I have notifications turned off lol)
And ah water 7 best arc and anyone who says otherwise is just weak. The first and only time we saw interpersonal conflict that mattered where everyone was so wrong and also right. Sorta wishing we get the same level intercrew conflict in elbaf but with the way the story is going it’s not likely but I can dream. anyways water 7. God the thought of them already dating during that arc is so angsty even for Me. While lu/sopp and san/uso sides are already heartbreaking on their own (and lu/san! he literally kicked him in the face and told him to watch his mouth😭 honestly I don’t think Sanji would forgiven Luffy or Zoro if Usopp really left the crew there’s no way for things to be normal after all that or even Usopp for going through with it tbh) but ugh just zo/sopp is so much worse. Just having to hear him say that they should leave him if he doesn’t apologize even though Usopp wasn’t the only one at fault no you know what even if he was entirely at fault hearing that would not be okay. To hear someone you love say that would be heartbreaking😭. From then on you even after you patch things up you would be constantly watching yourself trying not to be too much trouble or make any mistakes. I have fallen down a ravenous hole I need to get UP. So yeah I don’t like to think about them dating before w7 because it all becomes a little too terrible and I would just die but I shall indulge you just a bit.
But yeah Luffy waking up sweats in the middle to make sure Usopp’s still there. Zoro would be just be touching Usopp and finding all these scars that never used to be there and get a bad taste in his mouth. I think if Sanji hears any of the other two raise their voice he’ll just have flashbacks and go into protective mode even though they are his boyfriends too and he’s supposed to also love them and he can’t have favorites but there’s no way to erase the past and what happened. So Sanji will just feel that much more terrible and unworthy (he never used to feel deserving before but now it’s just compounded three fold). Water 7 has left a lot of scars.
They may not all be physical but they’re so much worse. They’re going to be forever hunted by past mistakes of how they almost lost him because they were stupid and not there when he needed them most and as a result they’re going to overcompensate and become overprotective which just leads to Usopp feeling even more useless. It’s a vicious cycle until something finally gives and they have another fight where all their stupid insecurities come to light and they mend things. They try to be better moving forward but they’re just humans and there’s no way they can just fix things overnight. But they try and that’s all that matters.
I don’t think Franky will ever forget what happened and what he had to someone that has become so precious to him. And the fact that Usopp forgave him so easily just makes it so much worse. It’s easier to deal with anger because then you can at least apologize and work to earn their forgiveness. But no he does not get that. Instead he has to see the person he hurt look up to him and admire him and love him which just makes all the shitty things he did so much worse. And to have left permanent scarring because of what he has done oh boy. To have a constant reminder of just how terrible you can be. Yeah he won’t ever forget it. And no amount of good he does will ever erase those scars so how could he possibly forgive himself.
#so yeah in mind they have to get together post w7 because I love angst but at a certain point it’s too much lol#😭😭😭😭#asks#zolusanuso#I’m gonna be honest I felt like usopp forgave Franky too easy I’m a petty bitch I would had a grudge lol#sure I love him now but I feel like he should have worked for his forgiveness you know#this is so nice#the beginning of the ask I mean lol really gave a confidence boost
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Reasons why I think I'm certain character from twisted wonderland.... under the cut
tw — talks of starvation, isolation, death, abandonment, underlining stalking, horror, bullying... not talking of these by a lot but there are mentions so heres your warning
Idia, Malleus, Riddle, Rook, Azul
1. Idia Shroud
❝ Hey. ...So, uh, can I go now? ❜❜
— Okay hear me out. Listen. If you knew me personally or even if you don't I think you'd realize just how often I don't leave my room or go outside even if i want to
— I'm relatively always on the internet reading, playing games, drawing, watching YouTube, yknow.
— I don't go to sleep at reasonable times even when I say goodnight and if it weren't for the fact I'm tired 24/7 with no real energy I would NOT be sleeping in for even an hour. ((which happens anyway sometimes))
— I dislike irl interactions (unless I trust u a bunch) and I honestly try to avoid it as much as I can.
— I'm only /open/ to close friends(who I will see as family), my partner, or my cousin and I'd let them enter my space with no consequences
— I forget when I should eat and just avoid it whenever I can/want to because of personal reasons.
— Sometimes I forget to care for my hygiene ((dw I shower everyday when I have the will to stand))
— I put myself down faster than you can blink or I keep calling people names ((none offensive, think like... idk, tree or smth.)) to hype myself up
— I really.. and I mean really.. have a lot of family oriented trauma and if I could I would genuinely make a robotic family of how my family was before to me.
— that's not it but it gets more personal as I go on so erm
— #1
2. Malleus Draconia
❝ You aren't afraid of me. But I'm starting to become afraid...of losing you. ❜❜
— Now. Hear me out. #2
— For some reason, when I would ask my friends of what they first thought of me it was always "I was intimidated" or something of the sort and I would genuinely get so confused while looking like this.
— I don't get invited much to anything or get asked if I wanna join something a lot but theres this one person who makes sure to ask me if I wanna play games or watch videos together a lot like Malleus and Yuu ((PLATONIC YUU FOR ME DAWG. I SEE HER AS MY MOTHER.))
— I get isolated a lot in my family and if I wanna be around people I gotta do it myself (which is hard) and sit there but still be overlooked
— I'm not as in touch with my emotions as I make myself out to be, I'm very much out of them and I'm only really acting as to how I think people would want me to
— I don't understand human customs hel. Like I genuinely get so confused and be in awe when I see things others see like everyday
— I have big issues with abandonment and death when it comes to close friends (I'm talking like 4 year friendship and stuff.) or family I've grown attached to (my cousin), I'd genuinely do anything if it meant they'd stay with me ((vague spoilers lol!?))
— I take what my friends say very seriously if they aren't indicating that they're joking no matter what I sound like. That being said I make jokes unintentionally sometimes when im not even meaning to be funny
3. Riddle Rosehearts
❝ How was that? Do you understand the full extent of my capabilites now? ❜❜
— You don't have to hear me out on this one I'm a little shocked too.
— When I was younger I used to be wayyy too bossy and rude and if anyone even apposed me I would get angry and metaphorical go "off with your head"
— The only reason I woupd be so bossy and rude was because of my family and how they'd bend to my every will and encourage my behavior to others because i was a "golden child"
— especially my mom. She would see my bossy self and go "thats my mini me", looks and her personality
— As I grew older that bossy nature lessened of course but there are times i get angry when others dont have the same thought process like me and don't do something correctly in my eyes
— The only reason I don't let that bossy nature slip by is because of the fact I became my own ace and punched and told myself that I'm not the addition of my mother and I'm not the queen of the world
— of course I'll still follow rules but if they're like... unnecessary I'm not following them at all. Especially if its smth like "u MUST tie ur shoes five times" suck my D-'EYE'-C-K fr. 🐈
— I still have anger issues but I try and not let it slip past either. There was a time I got so angry that I was shaking and I had to be held back from attacking someone ((metaphorical "off with your head"))
4. Rook Hunt
❝ Non... Speak not. At this point, I can hear your inner voice just by gazing into your eyes. ❜❜
— I'm not as shocked by this
— For the other three it's more personal but for rook its in all caps PERSONAL. I see beauty in literally all things even if it truly is the most ugliest thing in space
— I can watch people from afar without getting caught exactly but enough for someone to get restless if I want them to be
— There are times I find information of someone on accident and I will be going deep into it. Like deep into it and then I'll forget it because it's not anything needed at that moment
— People either feel safe talking to me or unsafe and I cannot explain why bc even I dont know.
— I would wear outdoor boots for/with everything if I could and ik it would make people scream in horror.
— talking about horror i would watch detailed horror movies just to say how beautiful it can be and the symbolisms.. etc.
— I can also read characters kinda well??!?! and write them sorta well???!?? idk how to explain it but give me enough time with watching a character and I'll tell you exactly why I think they act the way they do or think the way they do or feel the way they do or how they would react to xyz, etc.
— even when I or my friends dont like someone I don't just base my reaction on that ((like I'm not a fan of neige or vil but if you told me to choose between the two I could not. both of their characters are good and if you wish I can even try to explain how.))
— I had a phase where I would speak in one language for a while ((spanish)) but i forgot what I used to say however half the time it was always me sayinf "i love you" to others i loved
— I called someone my butterfly once i think???? Cant remember who
5. Azul Ashengrotto
❝ What do you think? I have remarkable potential, don't I? ❜❜
— IF YOU KNEW ME IRL SINCE BASICALLY BIRTH YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
— I used to get bullied for a lot of things, my weight, my hair, my skin, my clothes, how i act, my glasses, my grades, how my moods would change drastically, my gender, etc
— So even when I was younger than I am now, I would see if others needed me to do something so I could gain favors or just get blackmail to raise over their heads for them to do smth for ME
— I was a people pleaser and a people eater no in-between.
— Unlike azul I didn't have a floyd or jade with me and it was just me myself and I
— LIKE azul I got a lot of people indebted to me lol.
— I would change myself and how I acted with people irl and on the internet to get literally every favor i could. I would know everything abt someone and they would feel like they HAD to help me with smth bc of that or bc i would show my more pathetic side
— I got so insecure of myself that I would try to take down any pictures i had of myself so that I could be "free" of the embarrassment.
— my family wouldn't help
— unlike azul I would do a lot of things to ensure i was skinny and cute and nice to others perspectives that I'd starve myself... so um.... yeahh.......
#🪐.exe#twisted wonderland#twst idia#twst malleus#twst riddle#twst rook#twst azul#disney twst#twst#idia shroud#malleus draconia#riddle rosehearts#rook hunt#azul ashengrotto
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Okokokokok, not a rq, (focus on whatever you need to write bhie <33) but ur dialogue prompt list gave me so much material for my daily delulu musings hee hee :))
Im using prompt 43 as a basis here…
Teen miguel, right?? Enemies to lovers teen miguel is a classic tbh, BUT… one sided ‘’’’enemies’”” to lovers with popular kid! Reader and v emotionally confused gabri 😭
HEAR ME OUT,,, so i would think that gabri would be a fairly shy kid at school and all that, the textbook example of the quiet art kid
Being a teenager with an already microscopic friend group (consisting of his mom, miggy, and some kids from his extracurricular drawing club/robotics club) and with little to no experience with romance, little gabri finds himself crushing on popular kid reader.
BUT THE THING IS, gabri knows what a crush is, but he doesn’t know what a crush should necessarily feel like. Like, he’s a little confused on why his face gets all hot when you smile at him from across the packed cafeteria, noticing him even when your table consists of the ‘popular’ crowd. He can’t pinpoint exactly why he has butterflies in his stomach whenever you compliment his drawings, even the ones that he considers ‘ugly’ and ‘rushed’. He’s left wondering why his voice gets all shaky and caught up when he tries to talk to you.
So little gabri tries to figure out exactly what he’s feeling about you.
Then it hits him. Whenever he vists miggy at his fancy nerd middleschool, miguel is very open with the fact that he “”hates”” a certain girl from his class. (Its xina btw, bc we love xina in this household <3). Miguel is always rambling on and on about how much he hates her, and his behaviour towards xina is a perfect mirror of gabri’s behaviour with you!! Red face, shaky voice, the whole 9 yards. So, gabri concludes:
That this weird feeling he’s experiencing towards you
Absolutely must be hate.
So gabri tries to hate you. Keyword: tries.
He tries to scowl whenever you’re around, furrowing his eyebrows, puffing up his cheeks, having a big frown on his face that comes out as more of a pout. (he really just looks like an angry kitten, only making you fall for him more).
He can never be directly mean to you, so he settles for little curt nods whenever you compliment him. (On the inside, he’s literally melting)
He “”hates”” you to the point where he starts to absentmindedly doodle you. He “”hates”” you to the point of making mutiple drawings of him kissing you to “shut you up”. (He blushes up a storm while drawing those, but he swears and tells himself that it’s just him getting so angry to the point of his face going all red. Totally not because he’s in love. Totally not.) He always makes sure to talk about his pure “”hatred”” of you to his friends in his extracurriculars.
“Oh my god, I hate them so, so shocking much!!”
“Uh, dude, you draw you and them kissing like, all the damn time.”
“Y-Yeah, so? I still hate them!”
“You sure? It sounds like you’re crushing. Hard.”
“Crushi—? Wait, what?”
“You have a crush on them, duh. Like, half the school does anyway.”
“Oh.”
Moral of the story? Don’t use your older brother as reference when it comes to your dating life. (Especially when your brother is Miguel O’hara.)
ATEEEEEEE ANG CUTE WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK gabri deserves more bitches damn : ( I LAVET
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Hello i dont know who needs to hear this but do not post content for notes. This goes for anything, but especially OC content. I see so many people being like "oh tumblr doesn't really like my oc so i guess i shouldn't really post about them... :(" YES THE FUCK YOU SHOULD??? It's made to make y o u happy not randos on the internet! And if the only reason you post anything at all is for notes then while it's your choice and you can do whatever you want, i would advise you to rethink why you even post anything, especially on tumblr of all places, where likes mean nothing more than how many people saw it, and reblogs are a blessing from heaven and happen about 2 times out of 100?? if your creative joy comes solely from the attention of strangers, that isn't the healthiest mindset, and this is the worst possible social media outlet to practice it on. You should create because you want to create, and if low numbers stop you from doing so, take a brake from whatever you need, be it posting, looking at numbers or straight up looking at social media all together.
Anyway, whether you write, draw, animate, edit, compose, whatever, for either a fandom or original content: post for yourself first and foremost, and never, NEVER EVER let notes decide if you want to create more or not. I promise you, you are making some people kind of sad when you say things like "well you didn't give me enough attention so im not gonna post that thing you liked so much anymore." Im sure you dont even realize, but that is basically what it sounds like to the people who did in fact give attention to your unpopular posts.
Im sorry if this sounds mean or like im targeting people who have to beg for a single reblog from the hundreds of people liking their posts, I don't mean it like that at all, its just something ive been seeing a lot more of recently for some odd reason and that i am so physically against that i could tear down a whole building with my bare hands and rage whenever i see it.
#not whump#this goes extra for the whump community also#people tell you noy to write something? you go and pist seven 10000 word drabbles of it#you like lady whump? post it. you like really niche stuff?? drown the tag in it until it isnt so niche#you wanna write that same cute boy in some weirdos basement getting whipped even though everyone has written something like that? DO IT.#I LOVE THAT SHIT#especially post it if you're afraid of shitty anons harassing you. it goes triple extra then.#if you're worried no-ones gonna read it? SHUT UP AND POST IT AND I WILL REBLOG IT RIGHT NOW. ALSO I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO POST FOR NOTES#okay to reblog if you were wondering#in fact okay to repost as well i dont care#show it to everyone who needs it#alright back to your regularly scheduled pain#if you need this tagged with something pls ask i know this is unlike what i post usually#*not#*post#hecc
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PHIOOOOOOO you should tell me about yor littol shadow guy........I think they r silly....and purrhaps my oc Castaway and him share a few characteristics.....
CRAP CRAP I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS AND I JUST REMEMBERED I AM SO SORRY SHSANDJSJXJ
feelo... first off they use any pronouns! second of all, theyre a very shy type — theyve lived in the woods away from society for very long, until the moomin-crew discovers them
they actually play the flute!! cause im not sure if youve seen the post about my ancient flute alarm but its the only thing that can wake me up, so i decided to include it into his character HAHAHA if castaway plays anything, maybe theyd play together huhu
he doesnt speak much at first (or maybe doesnt speak at all? im unsure), but i have lots of arc ideas for the future if i ever make comics for him!! if you look back at my og post there were a few comic panels showing him lowering the scarf around his neck and her hoodie, with the episode title "Under the Hood" — it signifies a core part of her arc that i have no time to explain JABSHABD
some more fun facts, at some point she sets up shop (well, more like a tiny vendor stall) in the woods where she sells little trinkets and advice for a few cents or a cool rock HAHAHA they store their things in their little bucket for safe keeping and pulls them out when necessary (e.g. they grab a minnow out of it and just start eating it as a snack)
going back to them speaking, if they do end up not speaking, id like to imagine they speak through drawings in a notebook, so its just a game of pictionary whenever theyre around HABSAHHA itd be funny to see people try to piece together what theyre saying as they grow more and more annoyed and the drawings get messier
anyways thats all! id love to hear about your little guy 👀👀 we can ask eachother questions and take turns! (and if you rp... ive been waiting to do a moomins rp for a while huhuhu)
#THANKS SO MUCH VILLE!#always nice to see you in my inbox#even if this is just the second time HAHAHAH#feel o fick!#man i should organise my tags HAHAHA sorry about that#im so excited to meet castaway >:)))
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Im leaving maybe (tw)
Pls don't read this if you get triggered easily but I rlly want my followers and moots to read this because It might be my last post
I don't think I can keep doing this anymore
One second I'm literally having sex and pleasure
The next I'm in the bathroom with blood everywhere
I mean I've already went to the hospital because of "suicidal ideation" and it still didn't help
Honestly I'm a waste of my parents money, their already in debt anyway why should I make it worse
They have done shitty things to me too so it would give me a plus
I've been raped over 200 times now, crazy right? Yet I still act like nothing happened. Because I am worthless. I am literally an object, you can't say otherwise rlly
I've been raped, abused, manipulated, bullied the whole shit. Because everyone who meets me will know they can make me whatever they want, a punching bag when their mad- or a little toy to fuck whenever they want. I have literally no other purpose than to be a lifeless object to please others wants
I've been so close to dead once, just the rope loosened at the damn time. Now I can't do it again because I have to be there for everyone else.
I doubt anyone will really read this sob sad story abt me because I'm pathetic. I doubt anyone is reading this rn
When will I start eating ag? Never. When will I stop bleeding? Never. I am an object of entertainment and pain. Because I am worthy of nothing
What have I even done to make ppl happy? Draw a couple shitty drawings and say "oh that's great guess I'm done for the day" no like why haven't I been studying, why haven't I talked to my friends more, why haven't I gotten out of bed. Why am I never good enough
Let's face it, I'm an object, I suck at art, I'm not Worthy of attention that anyone gives me, and the only reason I'm still alive is not because I want to is because I need to stay alive for everyone else's pleasure. I am a FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE WITH NO FLAVOR OR HAPPINEESSS EVERYONE JUST FUCKING USES ME LIKE A DOLL
because I am..i am a doll.
I don't like how I'm going to die. It might be tonight who knows..i just don't think I can keep acting happy for everyone elses benefits
So if I do die to go through with my suicide plan
Thank you for not uses followers and moots
Even though I've never met you, you are the only ppl who have never hurt me
And I'm sorry I had to die like this
Please know that all of you were sweet and kind
But a lifeless doll doesn't deserve to live
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guhh im so bothered rnn (vent/rant)
so... i? idk. ive been out as trans in my house since 2020. my mom doesnt call me dom (sometimes she does if my sibling encourages her to, but she defaults back to my deadname anyways) and ive learned to accept it. i dont think she ever will and its sad for me, the reality that once i start my transition, ill need to just.. leave a lot of my family behind. they think its some rebellious choice like i hate all of them but im more worried about them hating me
my mom says shes supportive but is actively right wing, shes having an inner battle with her ideologies, i know that. i can tell by how she talks about homeless people vs how she talks about us being queer
so. whatever. thats my mom i guess. but for a long time, i wasnt out to my moms husband. i despise him and ive never intentionally started a conversation with him, let alone come out. ive started to not care about what he thinks. i know what he thinks, he thinks gays should die, said it straight to my gay siblings face. okay, cool. doesnt concern me, moms bf is absolutely fucking nothing to me.
to remedy this sort of like... we didnt wanna DEAL with what he might say if he heard both my siblings calling me dom, cuz both of them do, so whenever theyre around they would just refer to my deadname, but i saw it made them cringe, so now everyone calls me 'that one child'
that one, other one, etc etc
no one even calls me my name anymore
it makes me feel so hopeless. ive EXPRESSED it makes me upset but my younger sibling doesnt care (the one most guilty of it), because they dont understand why it upsets me, i guess thats enough reason to keep going
its so dehumanizing to be reduced to actually nothing. i ALREADY have heaps and heaps and HEAPS of identity issues. sometimes it gets so bad i start having crazy ass delusions, sometimes im not even present and its a different part of my mind in my body
its hard enough as is!!! now my family wont call me anything at all
it makes me feel less bad about leaving, but i dont think ill ever leave at this rate
need to start T, change my name, get a job, all in that order. starting T seems impossible at this rate. i.. dont know what to do. i cant keep LIVING like this, because im not living at all
i never leave my house because im too ashamed in how i look, i cant BEAR the thought of anyone else perceiving me as female, i cant fucking do it!!! im so tired. my house is like a prison for me, genuinely.
and my family dont get it, obviously. they think its my choice, im some kind of hermit who doesnt care about being outside because i have internet. they are so fucking wrong. i miss going out, i miss being around people, i miss existing like everyone else, but i just cant do it man. not like this
so it becomes a waiting game, when am i gonna bring up starting it? how do i even move forward once i do? what if she says no? id have to do it on my own but i cant.. i cant even order things for myself without freezing like shutting up will get me out of there, i cant fucking do it
she doesnt even know!! we were in the car together and she was like yknow theres people who cant even make a doctors appointment. what losers.
IM losers, would she have said that if she knew? does she know and decided to say it anyways? i dont know, but its just.. everything seems so hopeless at this point. i want to just give up, accept im not gonna be who i truly am, but man i cant stand being any more miserable
it makes me wanna cry, the only time i get to feel myself how i think i should be is either if i draw something fictitious, or if i spend hours in the mirror making sure i look masculine, my mustache is convincing, etc. AND FOR WHAT? literally for fucking WHAT, because i dont leave the house anyways!!!!! dolled up like i have somewhere to be, like my appearance will get me what i want, when im stuck at home! i got nothing to prove to them, they think what they think
its fucking dreadful. im so scared of my life passing me by, and here i am wasting away in my bedroom for the last 3 years. no progress, nothing. at first, i was scared about even starting T because theres a higher risk of heart disease, but. i dont fucking care if it KILLS me. i dont care!!! if it kills me i dont fucking care im not living the life i want to live anyways. the risk of death is worth it at this point, i mean that so seriously
idk. im just tired, is all. i wish everyone could perceive me the way i dream they would. only time that happens is online, or when im not with my family at all and instead with my friends. but we only hang out like. once in a blue moon
and yknow what? im not even safe then. i remember we were at my friends house for halloween last year (we always meet up). i had my full leatherface costume one, my face was touched up to make it look like the mask. and still. dressed that way, when my friends mom asked me what my name was, i said dom and she was immediately like. "oh, dominique?" no. my name is fucking DOMINIC.
i didnt say anything besides correcting her, but it was such a blow, man. the only time ill be happy is if im closely monitoring every single thing i do, to make sure i dont appear feminine at all. no matter how i look, now matter how deep my voice is. miserable. why would anyone think that id choose this
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