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nah-she-didnt · 3 years

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Another Day

Slight tw: self harm, violence (nothing too graphic)

One day I will thoroughly proof read before I post, but not today!

Don’t cry.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, you stupid cow. Come on, just a few more minutes. Hold it in, just hold it in a little while longer, alright? Can’t you just be a grown up for once in your life? Stop fucking crying!

Just twenty more meters and she’d be safely behind the Fat Lady’s portrait. Ten more meters, and she could let it all out. But not yet.

The Fat Lady eyed her suspiciously. “You’re out late, m’dear.”

Lily cleared her throat. She could feel the tears longing to be shed that pricked at the corners of her eyes. “Prefect duty. Password’s ‘Agean.’”

The portrait swung wide, and Lily dashed inside. The common room was, miraculously, empty. This wasn’t totally surprising, as it was past one in the morning on a Wednesday night, but it came as a huge relief nonetheless.

Lily glanced around twice to make sure that there were no stray seventh years in the corner of the room taking advantage of the quiet atmosphere to finish up another hour of studying.

At last, when she was satisfied that the room was clear, Lily burst into tears.

“Damn it,” she whispered ferociously as she wiped her tears on the back of her sleeve, “for fuck’s sake, stop it. Stop it!” But she was powerless to stop the flood of feelings that came pouring out of her. She swore again and shook her head, hard, to stop the thoughts. Useless. Pathetic. Little girl. The words rang out over and over again, bouncing around the corners of her mind until she couldn’t take it any more.

With a roar of frustration, Lily kicked the leg of the nearest armchair as hard as she could. Fuck.

“OUCH!” She screamed and dropped to the floor. Her toe throbbed horribly, but at least it distracted from her head. She cradled the toe and prayed she hadn’t broken any bones. At this rate, she’d probably end up back in the hospital wing tomorrow morning. Lily knew that Pomfrey could probably fix a broken toe just as fast as she’d fixed the cut on her neck, but the idea did not bring her any comfort.

“Uh, Evans?”

Lily shrieked. She grabbed instinctually for her wand before realizing that it was tucked into the waistband of her school skirt. She had to flip over onto her stomach to access it properly. She pointed the wand wildly in the air in the direction of the voice. “Who’s there?”

“Oi! Stand down! It’s me!”

Lily’s heart sank. That was the last voice in the entire world she needed to hear right now.

James Potter stood near the door to the common room, his hands raised in front of him in surrender. “Blimey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Lily groaned as she rolled onto her back, then sat up, wand still pointed at James. “How the hell did you get in here? The common room was empty five seconds ago, and I didn’t hear the door open.”

James, who still had his hands raised, offered her a weak smile. “Ah, well, a gentleman never reveals his secrets, or something like that,” but he looked a little guilty, “would you put that thing away? I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

Lily lowered her wand cautiously. “I’m fine.”

James pointed down at her toe. “You don’t sound fine. C’mon, up you get.”

He strode over to her spot on the floor and pulled her into a standing position. She winced as she tried to put weight on her damaged toe. “I think I broke it.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” James tried to joke as he helped her hobble over to the couch, “the way you kicked that chair. Did the poor bastard commit an unspeakable offense to your person?”

“Very funny,” Lily grimaced as she sank into a seat on the couch. To her annoyance, James slid into the seat next to her. “Now, if you don’t mind, I was in the middle of having a very private breakdown.”

“Yeah, I noticed that bit. Come on, give me your foot.”

Lily scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“Seriously!” James cried as he waved her foot in the direction of his lap, “I’m actually pretty good with injuries. Comes with the territory, being quidditch captain. I see lots of injuries worse than this.”

“I’m surprised you made it this long through a conversation without bringing up your captainship,” Lily grumbled, but relented. She reached down to pull her mary jane off, wincing sharply as she did, then pulled her sock off as well. “Don’t tell me you’ve got some sort of foot fetish.”

“Nah,” James grinned as he accepted her maimed foot onto his lap, “I’m actually not fond of feet. Can’t stand anyone touching mine, you see. I’m dead ticklish.”

“I’ll have to remember that,” Lily joked, then flushed a deep scarlet. The comment sounded much more innocent in her head.

James, however, merely laughed. She could feel herself soften a bit at his smile.

“So,” James said cautiously as he examined her foot, “do you want to talk about it?”

Lily picked at a hangnail to save herself the moment when she would have to meet his gaze. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

James rotated her foot gingerly, frowning slightly as he moved. “I mean your very private breakdown. Want to tell me what happened? You were on rounds tonight, right?”

Lily nodded. “Nothing happened. Just a bit of an accident. Kept me out later than usual. I must have gotten over tired.”

“You don’t really expect me to believe that, do you?” He took his wand from his pocket and pointed it steadily at her toe. “Episkey.”

Lily took a sharp intake of breath as she felt her bones reset with a soft pop. Then, suddenly, the pain was gone.

“Thank you,” she breathed as she flexed her toe back and forth, “really, Potter, that was brilliant. It doesn’t hurt at all anymore.”

James winked annoyingly. “Don’t mention it, now,” he leaned forward slightly, hands clasped between his knees, “if you don’t want to talk about what really happened, fine. I’ll leave you alone. But, on the off chance that you do want to talk about it, I’ve got nowhere else to be tonight.”

Lily considered this proposal. On the one hand, she’d rather eat frogspawn than admit weakness to James Potter. On the other, she couldn’t bear the thought of going back up to the dormitory with nothing but five sleeping roommates and her own thoughts for company.

For now, Potter seemed to be her only option.

“I was on rounds,” she began slowly, still looking down at her hangnail instead of in his eyes, “and I was in the dungeons.”

She paused here for a reaction from James, but he did not offer one. In fact, he was so silent she wondered if he even dared to breathe.

“It was my last stop of the night before my shift was over,” Lily said into her hands again, “and I was coming round the corner by Dungeon five. Benjy was down the other hall and lost sight of me. You know where there’s that enclave with the tapestry of Agrippa?”

She waited for James to say something, but he did not. Instead, he offered the tiniest of nods.

“He was waiting in the shadows there. Mulciber.” The name was poison on her tongue. It attacked her senses. Filled her mouth, her ears, her nose and eyes with a foul presence. She wanted to scream, to claw her face to get it out get it out get it out.

James swore quietly under his breath, but did not interrupt her. She took a moment to compose herself, then pressed on. “I tried to scream, but he put his hand over my mouth. He had something sharp up against my neck. I couldn’t see if it was a knife or some sort of spell, but it cut me. Just there,” and she pointed to a spot on her neck just above her collar bone. “Then he started to say things to me. Nasty things. Just kept on and on. Then, finally, Benjy yelled out, and Mulciber ran off back to his common room. And I just...let him go.”

She was shocked to realize that she’d started to cry again. The tears weren’t fast and desperate as they had been a few minutes ago. Now they were controlled, cathartic. They rolled slowly down her cheeks, past her chin, and over the spot on her neck where Mulciber had cut her.

“Thank god,” James murmured. She was grateful for this interjection as it gave her a moment to wipe her eyes. “What happened then?”

Lily shook herself slightly. Now that she’d started to talk, she found she couldn’t stop. “We went straight to Dumbledore.”

James nodded vigorously. “Good, good. I’m glad. What’s going to happen to Mulciber?”

Lily let out a cold, involuntary laugh. “Nothing, James. Nothing at all.”

James gaped at her. “How is that possible! Surely Dumbledore-”

“I gave Dumbledore my memory,” Lily felt shame creep into her once again, “but it wasn’t enough. I never saw his face, never got a clear view of him in my mind. But I knew it was him. Dumbledore said there wasn’t enough to go on and sent me off to Pomfrey.”

A moment of silence passed between them. Lily noticed with a jolt that James clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. “That’s bullshit,” he whispered finally, “Dumbledore is supposed to protect us. Supposed to protect you.” He glanced sideways at her, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I’m so sorry, Lily.”

She smiled weakly back at him. “Thanks. But honestly, he was right. If I’d have just gone after him. I mean, he ran away from me, I could have hit him with a stunner when his back was turned. But I just let him run away. I didn’t do anything to stop him.”

James’ jaw twitched, as if he were about to argue but thought better of it. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, then looked at her once more. “Lily,” he whispered, as he put his hand gingerly over her own, “I am so glad you didn’t try to stop him.”

Of all the things he could have said, this was perhaps the most surprising. “How can you say that?” She wrenched her hand from his as if he’d burned her skin. “I’m supposed to be a Gryffindor. A prefect. And I can’t even defend myself from an evil, cowardly-”

“I’m glad,” James interjected softly, “because it could have saved your life. Or at the very least, saved you from an even greater harm. Think about it. He was already willing to hurt you once, who’s to say he wouldn’t have done it again?”

Lily did her best to choke back a sob. “But I let him get away with it. What if he does it again to someone else?”

James considered this for a moment. “I think sometimes the bravest choice is to keep yourself safe. And it sounds like in that moment you were in no position, emotionally or otherwise, to try and take him down. Not after what he did to you. You live to fight another day, always.”

Lily said nothing. She still felt the shame, the guilt that she’d watched Mulciber run down that corridor without so much as reaching for her wand. But she also remembered the panic, the feeling that she couldn’t move a muscle. Fear had rendered her completely immobile. She couldn’t have stopped him even if she wanted to.

“I know you won’t believe me when I say this, but you can’t blame yourself,” James said firmly, “you reacted the only way you knew how. It doesn’t make you weak.”

Lily nodded slowly. Then, without thinking, she reached back out and took his hand gently in her own. They sat like that for a long time, sitting several feet away from each other but holding hands quietly. James stared straight ahead into the fire, but every now and then would run his thumb across the ridges of her knuckles.

After at least ten minutes of quiet, Lily spoke. “You haven’t asked me what he said.”

James shrugged. “It’s not my business. I mean, if you want to tell me, you can. But I have a feeling you would have by now.”

Lily tried to block out the voice that played like a megaphone in her head. Mudblood. Pathetic. Useless. Stupid little girl.

“I’m sure you can guess,” Lily muttered, hating herself for crying again.

James turned his head from the fire to look at her again. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met, Lily,” he’d never heard him sound so sincere before, “I really believe he chose the wrong person to fuck with.”

Lily smiled weakly and squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”

James smiled back. “Plus,” he offered, “you’ve got a lot of friends that will help you kick his arse back to hell or whatever hole he crawled out from.”

Lily couldn’t help but laugh a little. It was an empty threat. She knew that Mulciber’s attack was a symptom of something darker, something more insidious than a school rivalry. Her friends wouldn’t be able to protect her forever. But it was nice to pretend that she wasn’t alone.

“Thank you. I’m glad you were here tonight, even if you scared the ever loving shit out of me.”

James winked, but it was with less cheek than he usually possessed. “No problem. You know me, students from far and wide across this great castle seek me out for my emotional services.”

She really laughed at this. “Somehow I don’t believe that.”

“Believe it, I’m really quite mature when I want to be.”

She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her chest. Her heart was still heavy, and she suspected it would be for some time now, but it was easier to bear. Suddenly she realized how completely exhausted she was.

“I should go up,” she whispered. She squeezed his hand gently before pulling away from him. “I’ve got to get some sleep or I’ll be a wreck for McGonagall.”

James stood quickly with her as she moved to leave. “I’ll hand in your essay, if you want,” he said hurriedly, “you should get as much sleep as you can. She won’t mind, I’ll tell her to talk to Dumbledore if she has any questions.”

Lily frowned at him slightly. “How can you hand in my essay if you haven’t even done yours?”

James barked with laughter at this. “You underestimate me! I wouldn’t dare ignore an assignment from Minnie.”

“Right,” Lily said, bemused. She pulled out her wand and summoned her essay down from her dorm. It zoomed right into her hand, and she handed it over. “Thanks so much. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Don’t mention it, I hope you get some-”

But his sentence was cut off by the sound of the portrait hole swinging open.

“Oi!” Sirius called as he and Peter strode over to them, “where the bloody hell were you? You were supposed to be our lookout, remember?”

Lily raised an eyebrow at James. “You know, we never did get around to discussing what you were doing in the common room at one in the morning.”

James laughed nervously. “Ah, Evans, there are some things you’re better off not knowing. Trust me.”

She smiled at him once more, then turned her back on him for her dormitory. The sounds of bickering followed her, echoing all the way across the common room and up the stairs.

The words did not stop playing over and over again in her head the whole time she got ready for bed. Pathetic. Useless. Mudlbood. But now, new words joined them. Soft, kind words broke the monotony of cruelty that played on repeat inside her mind.

You live to fight another day, always.

#I am once again asking you all to ignore my typos #I post the same night as I write bc I'm not a COWARD #jk it's because my anxiety won't let me sleep on anything #nina writes #jily #jily oneshot #canon compliant #james potter/lily evans #tw: self harm #tw: violence

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kingreywrites · 3 years

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Even If It Hurts - Chapter 2 - The one they found

Fandom: Tangled

Word Count: 2366

Summary: There are days when the tears can't help but fall, no matter how much Rapunzel and Eugene don't want them to.

There are days when these tears are shed for family; for the one they lost, the one they found, and the one they created.

Chapter Summary: Despite trying, the words will not come. His breath is cut off by the tears he won't shed, taking too much place in his chest until he feels nothing but them. He doesn't want to cry, but he's not sure if it's stopping talking or keeping at it that will tip him over the edge. Maybe there's no escaping this.

Note: Eugene’s turn >:)

Read on ao3

1. The one they lost ; 2. The one they found

Eugene... Eugene doesn't cry often. It doesn't suit him. People think it's another example of him being conceited when he says he has an ugly crying face, because after all, everyone is ugly when they cry, but it's- it's more complicated than that.

Eugene is an ugly crier. He's a loud crier too, because he can't stand sitting around in deafening silence while his world feels like it's crumbling around him. He needs to move, to talk, to do anything so he can ignore his tears as much as possible and that made him an absolute nightmare to deal with as a child, or so he was told.

He doesn't remember crying often enough to be an annoyance. He does remember, somewhat, the feeling of being scolded by people who were as tall as giants, yelling for him to shut up. He's an adult now, and he's not sure if this is a memory or a dream, but he feels like there's definitely a part of truth in this. He probably deserved the yelling, to be honest, because he must have been impossible to deal with back then. Crying kids were annoying, and the matrons would often let them cry all night instead of doing anything (Eugene knew, because he was the one who got up and read them stories so they could calm down); he had always been extra annoying, making potential families flee with his general attitude. A mix of the two was definitely headache worthy, so they did their best for him to stop crying.

They mostly succeeded.

Eugene can count the number of times he cried in the last five years on the fingers of his hand - and it's exactly once, when he was about to die and leave Rapunzel behind. He had been terrified, for her and for himself, and the tears had come naturally. He had been too tired to fight them. After that, though, he had begun his no crying streak anew, and it was only a deaged Lance that nearly broke it.

Eugene has a soft spot for crying kids, it's not his fault.

But Lance didn't make him cry. Getting hurt during their adventures didn't make him cry, practically betraying the woman he loved most didn't make him cry, meeting his long lost father didn't make him cry-

Except.

Except they go back to Corona, Eugene with one father more and one friend less. They go back, and Rapunzel is a mess, so he tries to be there for her when she needs it, tries to be the support she has trouble asking for. And then, his father- Edmund comes back, with dreams of reconnecting with his long lost son, and Rapunzel is excited at the prospect, and Eugene wants Rapunzel to be happy and... He gets roped into a weird adventure, and despite the still present hurt, Edmund and him make amends.

He still doesn't cry. He has no reason to anymore, after all.

So when the tears come anyway, the overwhelming mix of anger and shame nearly chokes him with how suddenly it takes over him. He flees his conversation with Edmund with the flimsiest excuse, and practically runs to his bedroom in a desperate dash for privacy.

He won't cry. "I won't cry," he repeats out loud, unsure of who he's trying to convince - but his voice wobbles on the last word.

He closes his fists, takes a deep breath, and holds it in for as long as he can in fear of a sob breaking out of his chest. His eyes are burning and nothing is working and he's going to cry but- but-- He grabs the first object he can get his hands on and throws it down harshly, cringing at the sound of broken glass that follows. Through the blurring of his eyes, he understands that it was a glass of water, and that makes him feel like even more of an idiot because- because-

He can't breathe. He stumbles and sits down heavily on his bed, putting his palms over his eyes in the vain hope of stopping the process - but he can already feel the ugly twisting of his face as he tries to keep it all in, and soon-

"Eugene?"

He startles badly, and turns towards the voice, blinking his eyes rapidly. Of course she's here now. "Sunshine," he laughs, or coughs, he isn't sure, and he can see more clearly for now - clear enough to notice the frown clearly forming on her face, or the concern in her eyes. "What- uh, what are you doing here?"

His voice is still wobbling. Kindly, Rapunzel doesn't comment on it.

"A handmaiden heard a crash in your room," she smiles gently, looking at the broken glass on the ground. "She was worried, so she told me."

"Ah. Yeah, that, be- be careful about the glass, I don't want you to cut your feet because of me. Because, you know," he babbles as she quietly makes her way over him, "going barefoot everywhere can be dangerous. Well, you obviously know that, and I'm not trying to tell you what to do but- uh... that's... something to consider?" he finishes lamely.

Rapunzel doesn't answer him, simply sitting down next to him. Her shoulder is warm against his. She smells like strawberry, today, and he wonders if she was in the middle of one of her baking endeavours. He hopes he hasn't interrupted her, all because he grew too angry and threw a freaking glass to the ground like an idiot, probably scaring some poor handmaiden in the process.

"Eugene," Rapunzel repeats, in that way she has of saying his name full of love and affection, and free of any judgement. "Are you okay?"

Once again, Eugene tears up like a baby. He starts looking stubbornly at the wall, in the vain hope that she doesn't see it.

"Oh you know," he laughs, the sound bitter and angry, "just trying to strike a discussion with my dear old father- that wasn't even a father to me until like two months ago!" His voice gets loud again, but the remarks about being an annoying crier are forgotten for a second, as he tries to explain. "And here I come, simply trying to understand hi- to understand my life better, and he- he- he refuses!" Eugene stutters painfully, feeling his breaths getting caught in his chest.

His cheeks are hurting from the way they're scrunching up unnaturally. His hands are balled around the sheets of his bed, and he feels like he's falling apart at the seams, trying to hold himself together through sheer willpower. It's not working. And so he keeps talking, hoping that his mouth will move faster than his mind, and that it'll be enough.

"He's really- He really thinks because he's my father he has a right to decide what's good for me but he- he lost that right," he exclaims, voice breaking on the "lost", heart breaking at the memories. "Each time I think I'm forgiving him, each time... Each time I think we can be family, I remember just how much he fucked up, and how that fucked me up, and I- I-"

He can't take a breath after that, but Rapunzel softly takes his hand, and his lungs somewhat remember what they're supposed to do.

"It's okay to be angry, Eugene," she whispers, her voice so quiet next to his and yet echoing louder in his mind. "No one expects you to be okay immediately."

"Really?" he laughs, a short burst that doesn't convince anyone, "because Edmund expects me to be fine with him. A lot of people think it's so great that I'm actually a Prince, and can't even imagine- can't- he abandoned me!" Eugene explodes. "He abandoned me, as a child, and he knew how much I was suffering, he had all the wanted posters! He knew I was thieving to survive and... And that means he knew about the nights sleeping outside, being so hungry I felt like my stomach was eating itself. He knew about the living out there in the cold, he knew about me nearly getting killed on a daily basis, he maybe even knew about that time I thought Lance was going to die and I was going to be all alone and-"

He can't finish that sentence. He still hasn't looked at Rapunzel, but he feels her thumb slowly stroking his hand, gently trying to calm him down.

"He knew," he breathes out quietly, heart thumping in his chest. "And I know he had his reasons but- but I didn't deserve that. I know I didn't." Rapunzel hums quietly. His head hurts. His throat feels raw, and he remembers that he's an ugly, loud crier, will you shut up Eugene-

But he won't shut up. He wants to, really - he wishes he was strong enough to compose himself but... He hasn't had a proper breakdown in a decade, and it's all crashing down on him, bringing everything he built down with it.

"I asked him about my mom," Eugene admits quietly, "and he didn't want to talk about it. Said it was- a touchy subject for him. As if- as if it isn't for me," he chuckles, feeling really cold. "Two months ago, I didn't know I had a mother, and now I'm grieving a nameless woman I only saw in a painting, all because he- he- because he-"

Despite trying, the words will not come. His breath is cut off by the tears he won't shed, taking too much place in his chest until he feels nothing but them. He doesn't want to cry, but he's not sure if it's stopping talking or keeping at it that will tip him over the edge. Maybe there's no escaping this.

"It's so stupid," Eugene rages, against Edmund and against himself, his voice way weaker than he wants it to be. "I- I should be happy right? But- He's so- he- this is stupid! And- And who even names their kids Horace?!"

Of course that's the exact moment Eugene can't hold back his tears anymore. For fucking Horace, when it was supposed to be a joke so he could get a grip on himself. But maybe it's not just the name. Maybe it's about meeting someone who did so much harm to you, and having to fight them over the simple thing of being called your chosen name, like you had to fight so many people before him; maybe it's about spending years hating everything that made you who you are, before finally coming to terms with your identity, finally seeing something worth loving in yourself, only to discover that it was all a lie anyway.

In the end, it doesn't matter. Eugene starts crying, and tries to hide his face in his hands, but Rapunzel doesn't let go of the one she's holding. His head is swimming. She tugs him towards her, and suddenly he's sobbing on her shoulder, feeling like a pathetic idiot for it. And of course he doesn't stop babbling, about how stupid this all is, and how he shouldn't even be crying anyway, because there was way worse in life and he was fine.

Rapunzel doesn't say much. She tells him to breathe, mostly, and gently congratulates him when he does. She tells him that he's okay. She tells him that she loves him.

She doesn't say much, but she says exactly what he needs.

"I'm sorry," he chuckles wetly, shivering a little when he feels her fingers on the nap of his neck. "This isn’t… You already have a lot on your shoulders, and I'm putting more weight on them. Quite literally."

He hopes for a laugh at the joke, hopes he can pretend again that everything's fine and that he has absolutely no issues with discovering where he's from more than twenty years late.

"Eugene," Rapunzel says instead, her voice tainted by an unmistakable seriousness, "I don't care about what's going on for me, I- I always want you to be able to confide in me." She sounds sad. He remembers these times, when he was worried it was his fault that she preferred to cry alone; if he had done anything that made her feel like she couldn't trust him with her sorrows.

He wonders if he made her feel the same. He wonders if she also feels the same as he does on the subject - not that there's a lack of trust, but a deep desire to protect the other from everything that could needlessly hurt them, even if it's their own emotions. Eugene doesn't rely on others easily; neither does Rapunzel.

After all this time, he's still sometimes surprised to see how similar they can be.

"I'm sorry," Rapunzel breathes out this time, and she keeps him from straightening up as she continues. "I'm sorry I've been so busy and preoccupied, I… I hate that you've been hurting, and that I wasn't here for you."

Eugene's automatic answer is to deny this, but he still has his head on her shoulder, after basically breaking down for who knows how many minutes, so he doesn't think she'll believe him. He is hurting, even if it's hard to admit. He hasn't been quite the same since the Dark Kingdom - since meeting his father, since losing Cassandra, since seeing the love of his life so broken over the betrayal. He hasn't been the same, but he also hasn't allowed himself to be different, because it was never the time for him to simply… allow himself to be sad.

"We're both hurting," he finally answers, tightening his grip around her slightly. "I- I think we're just trying our best, you and me. I think… I think that's okay, for now."

He's still sniffling. His face is uncomfortably hot from the crying, and he really doesn't want anyone to see the mess he is right now. But in her arms, Eugene forgets to care. He forgets about the scoldings he once received, forgets about his fears of being judged, and just hugs Rapunzel for as long as he can.

They stay like this for a long time.

#tangled #Eugene Fitzherbert #Rapunzel #Tangled the Series

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ourloveisforthelovely · 3 years

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Lost Part 4

Harry Potter Marauders Era

Link to Part 3

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: M- angst

The song at the beginning: "Red Eyes" by The War on Drugs The song in the middle of the chapter: "By My Side" by The Paper Kites

_____

Come and see Where I witness everything On my knees Beat it down to get to my soul Against my will Anyone can tell it's you coming Baby don't mind Leave it on the line, leave it hanging on the rail Come and ride away It's easier to stick to the old Surrounded by the night Surrounded by the night and you don't give in But you abuse my faith Lose it every time, but I don't know where You're on my side again So ride the heat wherever it goes I'll be the one to care You're all I've got, wait Don't wanna let the dark night cover my soul Well, you can see it through the darkness coming my way Well, we won't get lost inside it all again

Running…

You didn’t know where you were going but you were going somewhere...anywhere. All that you could think about was getting as far away from your lover as possible! You hated the thought but your brain was in flight mode.

As you ran, you ignored the strange looks that fellow students were giving you. Evan Rosier and Snape sat a few feet away. Both look at each other before standing up and heading toward you. You made a quick left-hand turn shouting “nope” over your shoulder and continuing your mad dash down a new hallway. They were the last people that you wanted to talk to. Knowing the luck that you were having today, the boys would take you right back to Regulus. If you ended up dead or kidnapped, you wouldn’t be surprised.

It was Remus that saw you next. He quickly elbowed Sirius in the ribs to get his own lover’s attention. Both looked at each other and shrugged before getting up and going after you. It took them almost chasing you to the forest before catching up.

“Hey! Where are we running to?”

Sirius asked, trying to catch his breath as you stopped right in the clearing of the forest. You turned and looked at them with tear-filled eyes. Both Remus and Sirius frowned at your disheveled appearance. Your normally neat dress shirt was clearly hastily buttoned and untucked from your skirt. Sirius didn’t want to admit it but he could clearly see your breasts through your shit. He quickly looked down blushing. The last thing that he wanted to admit was that he had seen you like this.

“Anywhere! I just need to get somewhere.”

You said in a pleading tone. Remus reached out and gently wrapped his hand through yours.

“Come on. Let's go into the forest.”

You didn’t fight as Remus and Sirius led you through the thick trees to a place that you knew well. It was the place that you came to your friends with when all of you needed to “getaway.”

Remus was the one to break the silence. He was more than worried. You weren’t the person to be running through the halls looking scared out of your mind.

“So are you going to tell us why you are on the verge of a breakdown?

Sirius nodded.

“Where’s your bra?”

Remus turned to Sirius with an annoyed expression.

“That’s what’s worrying you right now?”

You looked down taking in your appearance with a groan.

“Oh no! I left my bra and underwear.”

“Where were you to forget your bra and underwear...oh no...Y/n!”

Remus commented as he put two and two together...Regulus. He ran a hand through his hair wondering if he needed to go track down the younger Black brother and mop the floor with his face. It was super closer to the full moon so Remus wasn’t feeling too shy at the moment. Seeing the horror on your face made him angrier. Just what had Regulus done to you?

“It's not what you think, Remus...well it kind of is.”

Sirius, who was totally confused, held a hand up.

“I would really like to not be a third wheel in this conversation. I’m feeling a little forgotten here.”

Remus’ eyes met yours asking for permission to clue Sirius in before the boy had a full-fledged meltdown of his own.

“Regulus.”

Sirius frowned.

“What does my brother...OH FUCK!”

He shouted the last part before putting his hand over his mouth and jumping up and down.

“Did he hurt you? I’m going to kick his skinny little…”

You quickly started waving your arms trying to shut your friend up. Sirius stopped his freaking out and looked at you with petrified eyes.

“No, Sirius! He didn’t hurt me...at least not yet. I’m in serious shit! He’s in serious shit!”

“What is it?”

Sirius carefully asked. You felt the tears returning to your eyes. The realization that you were about to pull the rug out from under Sirius was devastating you all the more. Your poor friend didn't deserve any of the horrible things that he had gone through in his life and now you were about to add another one. Sirius had told you himself that he prayed Regulus would turn out good. It was so obvious that Sirius loved his younger brother despite Regulus’ abandonment of Sirius.

“Sirius, I am so sorry...Regulus is a death eater.”

The frown on Sirius’ face deepened.

“How do you know for sure?”

You put a hand over your face before sealing the distance between Sirius and yourself. Wrapping your arms around his waist, you buried your face in his chest.

“I saw the dark mark on his arm. He and I were about to have sex...when he took his shirt off.”

You wanted to cry even more hearing Sirius’ heart beginning to pound. He trembled underneath your touch for a moment before wrapping his own arms around you.

“I saw the dark mark and got the hell out of there.”

You added. Sirius sighed. This was definitely not the news that he expected to hear. Something that told Sirius to expect it. Hell, he made comments about Regulus probably being a death eater all of the time but having the confirmation was totally different.

“How long have you been having sex with him?”

Sirius gently asked as he took your face in his hands. He wiped your tear-streaked face with his robe trying to provide some comfort that his brother obviously couldn't.

“A long time...we stopped when he called me a mudblood. It was the same time that we stopped being friends. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. Regulus didn’t want me to tell anyone but Remus caught us once. That is how he found out. Don’t give him a hard time, please Sirius.”

Sirius sighed and gently kissed your forehead.

“I am not going to give anyone a hard time. You had your reasons. I get that but I’m concerned especially with what you just told me about Regulus. Y/n, I can tell you that he hasn’t been the same in a very long time...I feel like that is common sense.”

You pulled away from Sirius and started pacing before angrily punching a tree. Both Remus and Sirius exchanged glances. Y/n Evans never lost her temper like this and assaulted innocent trees.

“I’m so stupid! STUPID STUPID STUPID! I love him and I am scared to death of him at the same time. I am acting like such a Mary Sue and I hate it. It makes no logical sense. I want to be with someone that will probably kill me at some point to appease some crazed dark wizard. He’s gone and taken that dark mark on his pretty arm and I was going to hop into bed with him as I did at 14. Why the hell do I love him so much?”

Remus patted Sirius’ arm signaling that it was his turn.

“Sweetheart, you can’t help who you love.”

Sirius frowned.

“What are you trying to do, Moony?”

Remus gave him a scowl before pulling you into one of his famous hugs that were saved for sad times. You had a feeling that you would wake up the next morning to a shit ton of “sad time presents” from both boys.

“Just because you love him, however, doesn’t mean that he is good for you. There are a lot of nice boys out there.”

You sobbed harder. Of course, Regulus wasn’t good for you! You had enough sense to know that the relationship was toxic as hell and here you were ready to fuck the boy’s brains out (you still wanted him but you wouldn’t admit that).

“Every boy I get close to is scared to death of Regulus and won’t date me. When one does decide to Regulus has his band of merry misfits beat the stuffing out of them. Look at Gavin McDonald.”

“Regulus did that?”

Sirius questioned. He had seen Gavin earlier that day and long story short the Ravenclaw boy didn’t look good at all.

You nodded.

“Yes, I have a feeling that it was Evan and that Dolohov guy. This is crazy but I thought that I wanted to date Gavin. I thought that I would really like him but this afternoon when kissing Regulus...everything was so perfect. Granted, we were in the middle of hate sex and bad-mouthing each other but, Merlin, it was perfect. His kisses...I could break into a million little pieces for him…”

Sirius winced. He didn’t want to think about Regulus bedding you but the thoughts were going through his mind like crazy now. Sirius knew that you were friends with Sirius. The two of you had the kind of friendship that Lily had with Snape before that went to hell. Sirius didn’t mind it at first either. Regulus looked out for you. If someone gave you grief then they had Regulus to deal with and it wasn’t a great outcome.

As much as Sirius didn’t want to admit it, the two of you would make one hell of an adorable couple. Now, he wasn’t for sure how that would go. If Regulus dated you in the open, it would be dangerous...for both of you. Sirius didn’t see Voldermort being okay with one of his death eaters dating a muggle-born. That would be hypocritical of everything the man stood for. There was also Walburga and Orion...Sirius didn’t even want to think about that one.

“So the two of you have been fucking since you were like 13?”

You nodded.

“It started as wanting to see what all of the hype was about and just kept going. We were friends during the day and lovers at night. When he started hanging out with Evan and those other dark boys things changed and here we are now.”

Sirius sat down on a stump to put his head in his hands.

“I am guessing that Lily and James don't know.”

You nodded., trembling.

“Lily would be livid and James...well...you know him.”

Sirius knew exactly how James Potter would handle this. He would march right down to the Slytherin dungeon and fight Regulus. Sirius knew that this would be a fight that Regulus wouldn't walk away from either. His brother had too many negative feelings for James. It would just end bloody for everyone.

“Please don’t tell them.”

You begged. Sirius and Remus both nodded. Sirius stood up and cleared his throat.

“We won’t. Look, Y/n, I am not telling you what to do but maybe you should stay away from Regulus for the time being...at least until we figure out what kind of death eater he actually is.”

“Fair enough.”

You replied, sadly.

(meanwhile)

I've got a love, I've got a love for you I've got a place in this old heart for you And I want to tell you that I want you Any way I can I want to take you in my arms, I do I'll light a flame and let it burn for you And if I ran then I would run to you Every time By my side The only place By my side It's where I want to be By my side Forevermore I want to talk, I want to talk with you I want to tell you anything, I do And when I go, and when I leave, it's you On my mind I want to vanish in the night with you I want to take you 'round the town, I do I'm gonna make some kind of life for you Any way I can By my side It's where I want to be By my side The only place By my side Forevermore

Regulus sat in the room of the requirement that he had destroyed. Feathers from the mattress and pillows were still falling as he no longer fought the angry tears that were streaming down his face. Once again, he had fucked everything up. Regulus had been half tempted to run after you and plead with you to realize that he would never do anything to hurt you. He would never let any death eater lay a hand on you. Regulus would lie about your blood status to keep you safe. He would paw through people’s minds and put that thought in their minds. You wouldn't be questioned and would be safe…

Now here he sat alone. Alone...it seemed like this was going to be the defining word of his life. When he was home, he felt alone. His parents were too lost in their own world unless it was to order Regulus on how he was going to live his life. At school, sure he had friends, but they were on the same page as his parents with everything.

“I’m a bloody idiot.”

Regulus muttered as his gaze fell down to the dark mark on his arm. What the actual fuck was he thinking signing up for this shit? It was no bloody wonder that you were scared to death of him now. He was running around with the people that were causing people like her to be kidnapped and killed.

“She thinks I’m a monster like the rest of them. I would never hurt her...at least I’m trying not to hurt her.”

Regulus whispered and laid his head back against the now destroyed bed. He was so close to having you again. If he could have just made love to you, he could have proved how loyal he still was to you. You were the only girl that he thought of. If the two of you had to run away to be together that would have been just fine with Regulus. The two of you could lay low until some event changed the war. Regulus had a feeling that Voldermort wouldn’t be around forever. Once that the dark lord was gone, the two of you could live as husband and wife happily.

He wouldn’t have to see that look of fear in your eyes anymore. You could be the happy Hufflepuff girl that Regulus had fallen in love with. Regulus wouldn’t have minded one bit if you spent the rest of forever annoying him with your giddy humor, forced hugs, cuddles...anything that you wanted. It would have been nice for Regulus to be able to let his own guard down and be loved.

“I should have told her the truth…”

Regulus could have told you that the only reason that he joined the death eaters was to appease his parents but the question was would you believe him? Regulus had a feeling that the answer to that question was no. He could only hope that you would believe him when he said that he wasn’t as faithful as Voldemort believed.

“I’ve got to fix this.”

Regulus snapped before standing up and fixing his appearance. Stepping out of the room of requirement, he quickly walked down the hall looking for any sign of you. He frowned, looking through the groups of other students until his eyes landed on Margaret and Lucille who were sitting under a tree giggling amongst themselves.

“I must be desperate.”

Regulus muttered before walking over to where the two girls sat. Both looked up the moment that Regulus stopped.

“Do either of you know where Y/n is?”

Both girl’s mouths dropped at the experience of Regulus Black talking to them. Regulus frowned.

“I don’t have all day. I know that one of you can speak actual words.”

Lucille was the first to make a peep.

“No, I’m sorry, Regulus but we haven’t seen her in some time.”

Regulus sighed before turning to walk off. Margaret quickly came in.

“You can join us.”

Regulus snorted.

“I would rather dig my brain out with a spoon.”

He didn’t wait for either shocked girl to respond before walking away. He stalked through the castle for a few more moments before seeing James and Lily.

“I must be crazy.”

Regulus mumbled before walking up to the one boy that he despised more than anyone else and your older sister. James looked totally stunned to see Regulus Black approaching him. Usually, Regulus gave him snarky little sneers from across whatever room the two happened to be in at the moment.

“Have either of you seen Y/n?”

Both Lily and James’ smiles faded. They knew that you hadn’t been friends with Regulus in a long time and how torn up you were over the friendship ending (even if you didn’t talk about it). James felt “older brother” feelings starting to come out.

“What business do you have with her? I thought that she was just filthy...you know what you said.”

Regulus’ scowl intensified as he thought "and James wonders why I hate him so bad."

“I know what I said and I was wrong. Look, I have nothing to say to you. I need to talk to her so can you tell me where she is?”

James shook his head.

“We haven’t seen her since this morning..”

Lily decided to come into the conversation. She knew that you had something going on with Regulus that was “more than friendship.” It didn’t take Lily being your older sister to see how the two of you used to look at each other. There was also the fact that she caught the two of you kissing one night in the restricted section of the library.

“I want you to leave my sister alone. You have caused her enough distress.”

Regulus’ eyes turned in Lily’s direction.

“What Y/n and I do are our business. You should respect your sister’s decisions on who she chooses as her friends.”

Lily’s green eyes instantly looked livid and reminded Regulus exactly of yours.

“I would treat you with respect if you had any for my sister. All that you think about is yourself. Now get out of here before I hex you!”

Regulus looked totally caught off guard by Lily’s out of character threat. He blinked a few times before turning and storming off.

“I am losing my bloody mind”

Regulus muttered and went in search of some new avenue of finding you...

The next morning...

You sat at the Hufflepuff table absentmindedly stirring your oatmeal. The last thing that you really wanted to do was eat. You weren't even hungry. How you had gotten down to breakfast was still a mystery in itself. Remus and Sirius had escorted you back to the Hufflepuff common room the night before and left you in Lucille’s hands.

Both Lucille and Margaret had told you about Regulus’ less than kind comment from the day before when he was looking at you. You shrugged before muttering “consider your source” and withdrew immediately from the conversation.

Looking up, you met Remus and Sirius’ worried gazes. It didn’t help that now Lily and James were also starring. Judging by the expression on Lily’s face, you knew that she was aware something was up and you would be pulled into a “big sister/little sister chat.” You had no idea what you would tell her was the cause of your sudden depression. If you told her the truth the whole castle would probably hear her yelling. You didn’t have the energy to deal with that at the moment.

You diverted your attention to the Slytherin table where Regulus sat with his eyes dead set focused on you. Evan and Snape were even starring. Merlin, did they know too? This was beginning to get out of control! The last thing that you wanted was to deal with Evan Rosier or Severus Snape trying to “fix” your broken relationship with Regulus. There probably wouldn’t be any fixing on Evan’s end. He would just order you to get over yourself and take Regulus back. Snape would just make some awkward speech that would leave both of you uncomfortable. Either way, you were doomed.

You didn’t see Regulus’ face fall when you quickly looked away from him as if he were no one. Looking down in front of you, you frowned seeing an envelope with your name written in Regulus’ neat writing. How it got there, you weren't sure.

“Not today...I just can’t.”

You muttered before standing up and walking to the door. Stopping at the rubbish bin, you shoved the unopened envelope in. You knew that Regulus saw it and you didn’t care. Getting out of the hall was the thing that you needed the most at the moment!

Regulus, meanwhile, felt his heartbreak as you shoved the well thought out letter, that he spent hours on, in the trash. Evan winced.

“The fuck did you do to her this time?”

Regulus groaned and dramatically slammed his head down on the table. Evan raised an eyebrow before shooting all of the other Slytherins who were watching a death glare.

“Reg, I don’t know what you are doing but this is getting out of hand. You need to talk to her.”

Regulus jumped up and screamed,

“I’M TRYING, EVAN!”

Whether it was Regulus breaking his cool calm composure or something else both Evan, Severus, and Barty winced scooting away.

“I’m out of here.”

Regulus said after taking a few deep breaths. He gathered up his stuff and met Sirius, Remus, James, and Lily’s uncomfortable gazes. Tossing his curly hair back, Regulus walked off without another word.

James was the first to break the uncomfortable silence at the Gryffindor table…

“Look at that, breakfast and a show.”

Regulus quickly walked down to the dungeons for Potions. You were going to talk to him one way or another. He was about to go crazy and didn’t want to face the thoughts of going home for Christmas the next day like this. If he didn’t fix things now, he would have to be an emotional wreck all fucking break and he was not going to do that It was time to get back some control in his life!

Slughorn looked up with a smile as Regulus walked in. He gave him a smile.

“There is my other genius.”

Regulus frowned

“I’m sorry, sir?”

Slughorn motioned to the report on his desk.

“Ms. Evans handed in the report. As I suspected, the two of you had the best grade in the class. Since everyone did so well, I decided to cancel class as a small holiday gift.”

Regulus felt, if possible, even worse. You did all of that stupid project without him and saved his ass.

“Thank you, sir. Did Y/n happen to say where she was going? I needed to give her back a book that she let me borrow.”

Regulus totally lied to Slughorn and at the moment he didn’t care. Slughorn shook his head. The older man clearly hadn’t picked up on Regulus’ tense mood. He either didn’t pick up on it or was too lost in his own world to even notice...Regulus didn’t care which.

“No, she didn’t. Have a nice holiday, Regulus.”

Regulus nodded.

“You too, sir. Thank you.”

Regulus politely replied before turning and running out of the classroom to start the damned biggest version of hide and seek ever seen…

________

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mysecretatticsstuff · 4 years

Text

Pranks

Pairing : Jeon jungkook x reader

Word count: 27.3k

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, emotional breakdown.

Summary: You thought you were going to enjoy college. Even with unfortunate events and a poor sleep schedule you were trying to live your best life. Untill one particular kid, aka golden boy of campus came dashing into your life.

College. The place you got excited to go thinking you would finally meet good people, make friends and have the time of your life. And yet here you are, 3 am in the morning just barely hanging in there with a paint brush in your hand finishing up the poster that was supposed to be a group project for physiology class. You have dozed off a couple of times now, with eyes open doing the detailed line work that you suggested not to put in it because of the amount of time it takes. You almost messed it up but your multitasking skills save you. In short you hate college. Or more so, you hate your luck for always putting you in the companionship of the worst people in the world. You can now permanently stamp a "pissed off" warning to your forehead to avoid casualties.

Grumpy wasn't even a mood anymore, it's a lifestyle. And some people just make it real difficult for you to not eat them alive. On top of that list was Mr. Jeon Jungkook. Golden boy, good at whatever he does, loved by everyone he has a conversation with. Well except for you. You on the other hand want to kill him. Not because you're jealous or anything. Heck you would be happy for him if he didn't make your life a living hell. You always wondered what you did for him to hate your existence so much. He kept pulling off weird ass stunts with you. Once he filled your water bottle with chilli tomato ketchup, you took a gulp without knowing and had a red face for a legit hour. Another time he issued the last copy of only book that had the reference you needed and kept it untill a day before the assignment was due. So you had to beg him to give the book to you and complete the whole assignment in one day. (Which was not fun of course). He mixed salt in your drink, splashed water from behind while you were returning to your apartment and what not. At first you thought to ignore him, when the stunts were small. But he just kept doing that shit and you grew angrier. When you asked him, why the heck was he doing that to you he just simply smiled like a devil, winked at you and walked away. That was a year ago, since that day you have been wanting to kill him.

You weren't the aggressive type by nature, your friends would agree that you were the most calm and collected, amiable and open minded friend in the group. Your personality was more of a mediator than a murderer. But the golden boy brought out the beast in you. When you realised that he isn't stopping with the obnoxious pranks. You started pulling off your own as a revenge. To be honest you didn't even regret it. Heck it was even cathartic. Once you hid his clothes while he was in the gym, so basically he had to wait inside the bathroom for the whole day in a towel. (You took his phone too so that he couldn't call anyone for help). You "accidentally" splashed juice onto his crisp white t-shirt before an early morning class. You wrapped his bike with cling film and bubble wrap. It was tiring but worth it when you saw his face, glaring daggers at you cause he was getting late for class and couldn't leave his apartment. You made sure you smiled sweetly at him when he saw you that day.

By now, everyone in your friend circle and both of your departments knew how you both jumped at the first opportunity to ruin each others day. You stopped questioning Jungkook because he never answered instead you focused on how to attack him in the best way.

The past two months have been extra rough for you, both personally and academic wise. Hence, jungkook's bickering has had you in a new level of pissed. A level you didn't know existed. Honestly you were amazed by the fact that you haven't had a breakdown till now. You didn't get any chance to pull anything off against him and that makes you angrier. I guy you were talking to back and forth has suddenly ghosted you and you are wallowing in all the self pity. You've had less than 4 hours of sleep for the past week because of all the requirements for class. You're just a week away from finishing everything off and you're praying that the devil doesn't make it impossible.

You personally hated Mondays, but who are you kidding everyday feels like a monday now. You head to the library first thing in the morning to finish your paper, a semester worth of work. You settle in starting to type out the last page. About an hour later your phone vibrates.

"Hey where are you?" It was Sunmi your best friend.

"I'm in the library" you wisper shout

"Oh.. i had something urgent to say to you can you come out for a second. I'm almost there."

"Okay, coming" you say.

Outside, sunmi was waiting for you with a book in hand.

"Jeez, y/n you look dead. Do you even sleep anymore?"

You sigh out loud, "Don't ask, i feel like i'm gonna pass out anytime soon. Coffee isn't helping anymore. I think i need drugs"

Sunmi just shakes her head in disbelief "What you need is a good night sleep. And for the drugs part, try sex." She says this in such sincerity that you actually consider it for a second before she laughs.

You laugh too, "Uggh, i can't wait to finally go out this weekend, i'm turning into a hermit. Anyways i'm sure u didn't call me out here to talk about hookups..?"

At this she hands you the book, "Yeah I didn't, but we need to talk about your dry state after you're free tho, but till then here you go. The book that you were searching for, you wouldn't believe how I.. or i should say where I found it I-... "

"Wait... Before you start your essay, i need to finish my paper. I meet you after your classes today. Tell me then. I need to go... Bye!" you hurriedly say before you turn around and enter the library

"But it's about Jungkook... " Sunmi tries to explain. But she realises you can't hear her anymore. She says to herself rather, "I hope you don't find trouble."

You almost reach your designated place when you see him. White T-Shirt and olive green cargos. That little shit, what was he up to again? You hurry to your laptop, only to find him smirking as if he knows some secret you don't.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" You ask. "Ooh.. chill Princess, just thought i'd see you and your work". At the mention of work you wake your computer up. A chill ran down through your spine followed by panic when you couldn't find the document you saved. After a moment, your eyes shot up, glaring dangerously at him. He sat up, folding his arms onto the table. "What's wrong? Can't find something?"

"What the fuck did you do, Jeon?" You wanted to scream bloody murder at him, but you didn't know how were you this calm.

"Tsk, tsk,.. last names now huh? Someone's angry. Tell me princess, will I win a prank of the year trophy this time?"

You were unable to speak. Your blood boiled, you wanted to punch him, better kill him. When you didn't reply he continued. "I hope you remember what your wrote in your thesis, even better if your typing skills are on fire, cause you need to rewrite within one week" He was putting a full display of his evil grin. Clearly amused by the situation he put you in. But you slowly realised what he meant. You quickly went to the recycle bin of your computer to test your luck, but soon saw that the demon had already deleted it from the bin too. Your heart sank. This was not fair. You wanted to cry now. Months and months of your hardwork, gone now. What the fuck was that bitch even thinking. This was not a joke anymore. It was your finals. Yes you both have done horrible things to each other but you made sure that it never got out of line. But him deleting your final thesis. This was definitely out of the line. You could not rewrite the whole thing even if you tried in a week. It would never get close to the original one. You would miss many points and the writing style. Damn you for not keeping an extra copy of the thesis somewhere. But again, you never thought Jungkook would go this low. You didn't even want to think how he figured out the passcode for your laptop. Anger doesn't describe what you were feeling now. You wanted to shut down. When Jungkook didn't hear a threatening or a curse, he chimed in. "Have I pulled the most epic prank on miss y/n that it finally shut her smart mouth?"

You couldn't bare it anymore, all these weeks of running around with just 4 hrs of sleep or sometimes non has made you physically weak. You wanted to escape. You throat hurt from the suppressed tears. But you were not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. You look at jungkook in the eye. Cold. You stand up, take your things and leave.

All the way to your apartment, you wanted to cry, but you waited till you were inside the safe heaven of your bed.How could he do this to you? When this crazy prank scenario started you couldn't comprehend why the nicest guy ( according to students and professors) had taken a toll on you. Yes you were angry at the beginning. But soon it had simmered down to something else. You couldn't pin point what, exactly. It's true his pranks were delirious and you hated him with all your will, but you couldn't help notice the small ways he made a difference in your life. You were an over-thinker, and this stupid game of pranks with him kept you busy. It was kind of the only source of entertainment for you as academics was no joke. It's difficult to explain but you became more productive because of him. You became a more open person, you made a lot of friends and most of the conversations started with how people don't understand why both of yo fight. Jungkook's friends became your friends too. You found out a lot of things about him through them. One that he was a naturally competitive person. He was a big softy inside they said, that was a bit hard to believe for you. But once he stood up for you when you were being cat called, he was so close to beating the shit out of the boys, nevertheless you dragged him out of it. He walked you to your apartment without even uttering a word. You wanted to say thank you, but the very next day he deflated your tires. And the saga continued. The moral of the story is you definitely had developed a soft spot for him. And this prank was definitely a blow to your ego and your heart.

All the emotions, the exhaustion just came crashing down and you let the dam break. You cried like a baby, whether because of the grief of your lost files, anger or because of him entirely you didn't know. You woke up 3 hours later, with puffy eyes and a blocked nose. You decided you can't let him get to you. So you did what you do best, turn all the frustration into anger towards him. You arranged all the resources for your thesis, and then you sat down with your laptop typing away from the beginning.

You didn't go to college next day, thought it would be better to stay at home and work. There were no classes anyways. You already sent an email to your professor informing him that there was a technical difficulty and you lost your files. Your professor was kind enough to excuse you from all the classes that week to work on your thesis stating that you had good attendance already. Sunmi called you, she felt guilty about the whole thing. "I should have known there was something fishy when that asshole gave me the book. I shouldn't have asked you to come out".

"Hey, it's fine, it's not your fault. I'll kill him with my own hands once everything is over"

"Still.. i feel super bad. Let me know if you need anything. I can bring you books from the library.."

"Thank you sun, i'll let you know if I need anything.. "

"Okay.... Oh and y/n,.. Jungkook came looking for you today. He seemed anxious? kinda worried even. I told that fucker i don't know where you are. Thought you should know"

Jungkook was looking around for you, that's weird. Was he feeling guilty? You always came up with a new prank. Maybe he is just surprised you vanished. "Hmmm... Thanks, i don't want him to know anything about me, Anyways i couldn't careless about him now. See you later".

"Take care y/n".

It was 10 pm when you stood up from your desk, your shoulders and wrists were stiff from all the typing. You realised you hadn't eaten anything for 7 hours now. It was raining heavily, you felt a bit dizzy. When you finally get out of college, this would be a hell of a story to tell though. You missed home dearly, you wanted someone to just hold you and assure you that everything is going to be okay. You took some leftover pizza from your fridge and put it in the microwave. Sometimes living alone just gets to you. All the loneliness, all the times you wished someone was there to comfort you. Your body ached and you felt pathetic about yourself. 'Why me?' was your question. A mixture of all these thoughts and emotions were swirling in your head and you didn't even realize that you were crying now. This was your 3rd breakdown in a span of two days.

"Pathetic" you muttered to yourself. Then your heard the bell ring. Confused at who came by at this ungodly hour, you wiped your tears and went to get the door.

You didn't expect the person you were staring at. Doe eyes slowly scanned you, from your feet to face. Jungkook.

You must have puffy red eyes, you think. God you didn't want him to see you like this. All petty and defeated. He was partially soaked from the rain. Jungkook just stood there, staring back at you. You waited for him to speak, when he didn't, you finally spoke, "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't see you in college today" he replied. Jungkook looked guilty? Sad even. "Why didn't you attend?" He asks next.

"That's non of your business" that came out harsher than you thought. At this his face turned stern. "Were you crying?"

At this point you don't know what or when will you break down. You could already feel a little lump forming in your throat. You looked down at your feet. "Go away, i have work". That came out so fragile and weak, you cringed internally. He stepped in. Searched around in his pocket and brought out a small USB in his hand. You looked at it and then his face.

"Your files" he said.

"You... why would you even... What the fuck? Jungkook!" With every word your voice rose. You thought he was feeling guilty, but he was just a little brat, playing games. All your softness was gone now.

You could tell by his devilish smirk that he was enjoying this way too much. "Who do you think you are?" You saw red with anger. With that much of a volcano boiling inside you, you were not sure what were you doing. Your hand flew up involuntarily. Lets just say, you would have punched him if it wasn't for his quick reflexes. He grabbed your wrist, turned you around. His other arm swiftly snaked around your waist.

"Woah.. easy princess. You sure you can fight me?" He tightens his grip around you. You hate to admit how badly it affects you. You can feel your knees going weak. His taught chest pressed against your back. You can feel him way too much through your thin t shirt. Your face heats up without you wanting it. No, no, no, no, you can't let your stupid hormones get to you. This is crazy. You hate him. Then why do you suddenly feel hot? As if on cue he lowers his head and whispers in your ear, " You okay, sweetheart?"

The new pet name, sends a spike of electricity just between your legs. You bite your lip to control the moan that threatens to leave your mouth. He notices the change too, the tension between you two is growing. You turn around to face him. He lets you. "I hate you."

His arms are still around you, circling your waist. He looks soft, as if relieved of some burden. Your clothes are getting wet from the contact. You don't know what to say, because you can hardly process what is happening. Just then your microwave beeps to your rescue.

You half jump half stumble away from him. "Uggh, i'll bring you a towel. Be right back."

When you return, he is standing in front of the couch. Looking godly. You sneak a glance at his chest and now hardened nipples before landing your eyes on his face. You hand him the towel. As if a half soaked jungkook wasn't enough. He swifty stripped off his t-shirt before drying himself off. You freeze. He looks at you gaze piercing.

"W- why.. did you do that?"

"You need to be a bit more specific sweetheart" he takes a step closer to you. You don't move away.

"The pranks.. why do you hate me so much, that you need to make my life a living hell?" You said softly.

"Helps me sleep at night." He smirks. You rolled your eyes at this. You were about to turn around when he grabs you by hand.

"I don't hate you. It's quite the opposite actually" Your eyebrows shot up at this. "yeah right. You think you can fool me again?" You scoff.

"I know you're a fool sometimes, but to be honest y/n I didn't know you were this dense" He mocked with a smirk.

"What the fuck? Okay that's it. Get out of my house Jeon" you demanded.

"What if I say no, Princess?"

You couldn't believe it. This guy has the audacity to mock you in your own house and then refuse to leave. You were beyond irritated now.

"How do people like you? You're such an ass. Leave before-..." you didn't get to complete the sentence before he pulls you towards him, with such force that you stumble, loose your balance and fall straight on his chest.

HIS BARE CHEST. GOD THIS WAS BAD. You felt your throat getting dry. You couldn't speak. He was firm, you kind of wonder about how much he works out. You could feel his silky smooth skin. You just stared at him, like a deer caught in headlights.

"That's it? You're not gonna 'make me' leave princess?" He says, with his face inches away from you.

*Pull it together y/n* you scold yourself mentally. But you body just froze and it feels hot. You probably have a red face now. You make another mistake of glancing at his lips, which are so damn close, it kinda makes you feel things you can't explain.

Jungkook notices this. He sees right through you. He finally speaks, "If you still haven't got it y/n, i don't know what to do with you... I... " He sighs, "I like you y/n. A lot. And I don't know how to behave when i'm around you, so I keep teasing you.." he says with a sincere look. "And besides.. you look hot, when you are angry at me" He smiles.

You realise you're still holding each other. Your heart is hammering in your chest. He probably can feel it beating too. You want to punch him for being such a jerk, but you also want to kiss him. You're so frustrated, at this point you don't know where the courage came from for what you did next. You kiss him. Out of all the things this was something he did not expect. This time he froze, hands paralyzed at your hips. When he finally came to his senses that it was really happening, he kissed back.

You snake your arms around his neck, pulling his hair into a fist. He lets out a small moan. You pull back, smirking. "No snarky comments now huh Jeon?" you mock, satisfied with his look. His face is flushed. You can feel his member slowly growing. He took some time to overcome his initial shock. Then he said, "No shit.. I'm.. God you're hot" And he is kissing you again. More in control this time. You part your lips to let him enter. His hands cup your face. Your kiss gets heated, one of his hands goes down, between your breasts, to your stomach. Then he waits, as if asking for permission.

"What now?" You say in between your kisses. "No guts for that?" You challenge him. And this time he actually has nothing to say. So you smirk, you take his hand and slowly slip him under your t-shirt.

"Shit". He mutters. He touches your skin, you feel like you're on fire. Goosebumps form all over your body. You feel alive.

The next thing he did left you speechless. He slips both hand under your t-shirt and with one go pulls off your shirt and throws it behind you. You gawk at him in suprise. You can tell he liked the way you reacted because his eyes went dark and he looked at you like he wanted to take you right there. "Jeez Jeon.. give the girl a break" with this you latched on him again. He stumbled back and landed on the couch. Seeing the opportunity, you climb on him, Keeping your weight on your knees, you hover just above his member. You know he wants you to sit on him, but you don't want to give him the satisfaction.

"I think I need to mess with her assignments more often" saying more to himself than to you. "Specially if it leads to this" he stands up keeping you close.

" I heard that you idiot" you were now feverishly unbuckling his pants. He moved his lips to suck you down your jawline, he made sure to nib and suck a bit harder right above your pulse point.

You let out a moan. Your hands are shaking but you somehow manage to undo his pants.

You feel really hot. You were about to pull his pants down when he holds both of your wrists. You freeze, your mind racing at 100 miles per hour. Did you do something wrong? Are you crossing your line? Did he not want this and you took it otherwise? God this is embarrassing.

You eyes were still wide when he said, "I'm not messing around this time y/n. I really do like you" he looks so very sincere that he moves some part of you. But you decided that you ain't gonna let him go so easily.

"I had three mental breakdowns since yesterday". You shot back. At this his eyes turned sad. Like he was really feeling guilty. You felt bad for him now, wondering if it was too harsh.

"I never wanted that, I thought you would argue with me and at the end of it i'd give you the usb, but you looked so angry, and when u left without saying a word I knew i had fucked up. Big time."

You backed off, hands crossed in front of your chest.

Jungkook knew you were angry. But he couldn't deny that he was beyond turned on by this site, you just in your bra and shorts, angry at him. You didn't know how hard he was trying not to turn you around bend you over your desk and fuck you silly.

You noticed that he visibly gulped, he was eyeing you like a prey. But he waited, because you were angry. He wanted to do this right.

"And all this time I kept wondering what wrong did I do to you. I hate you, you know that Jeon?...

"Baby, i'm sorry" he purred stepping closer.

A new surge of arousal hit you at this. "D.. Don't baby me..." The stuttering gave you out. He smirked liked a devil. He closed the gap between the two of you. He hovered above your lips, "forgive me please" he said just an inch away from your lips.

"Kiss me please" you said, not being able to process anything. And he did, he kissed you like there was no tomorrow. Strong and urgent. He cupped your ass and gave a tight squeeze. You let out a moan.

"Do you want to take it to the bedroom?" He asked voice an octave deeper.

You nodded, not trusting your mouth. He lifted you and you wrapped your legs around him. His body was divine, his skin was smooth, heat radiated from him although he was soaked before, lips not sparring you even one 1 second. You could feel his hard on, on your stomach and it felt powerful that you can do such things to him.

"God i've been dreaming about this for so long"

"How long, jeon?" You asked stripping him off his pants and underwear.

"From the moment you debated with your proffessor about a theory in front of your department. I watched you prove your points to him, and i swear to god I had a hard on since. I had to run to the bathroom to give myself some relief " he chuckles at the memory.

"Nerd" Fully naked now, you stare at his body.

"Damn, why are you so hot. This is not fair"

He looked at you. "I see you haven't gotten rid of your clothes yet y/n.. i would like to watch baby"

So you stripped, putting up a show for him. He grabbed you when you were about to take off you panties. He turned you around, pushed you onto the wall, you balanced yourself onto the wall.

"You're gorgeous." He said before slipping his large hand in your panties and cupping your entire sex. He then hurriedly took your panties off. He pressed himself on your behind and you whimpered. He fondled your breasts with one hand and the other slowly slid towards your dripping core.

He kept touching you there, in slow tantilizing movements. You squirmed. He teased you more, knowing you needed some pressure on your clit. He avoided it the most. You were growing anxious.

"Juuunngkook... Please" you draged each syllable.

"What's wrong?" He was enjoying this way too much you could tell.

"I think I deserve being worshipped after what you make me go through kook". You stated with eyes screwed shut.

"Okay, that's fair". At this he dipped one finger inside, testing if you could take him. He gasped at the warmth and the slick that now covered his fingers. He started slow at first, drawing out low moans from you. Then without alarm he added one more digit and started pistoning in and out. You arched your back with pleasure. You were so aroused, and mixed up with your pent up stress and frustration you could already feel something heavy settling at your lower belly, tightening inch by inch.

"Kook... I'm gonna... Cum". You said between grunts.

"You're doing so good baby, cum on my fingers"

You found your release at his praise. Pleasure coursing through your veins with lightening speed. Mid orgasm Jungkook smacks your pussy. And you go crazy at that, so much that you see white. When you finally come to your sense you find his strong arms snaking your waist and holding you, so that you don't fall down. He upper body completely glued to you.

Then you finally speak, head thrown back chest heaving

"I think,.. this was the strongest I ever came in my life"

Jungkook chuckles, "You're welcome". He kisses your shoulder. He slowly lets you go, so that you can stand by your own. You haven't forgotten the fact that, his hard on is pressing onto your back, waiting for the attention.

"So tell me Jeon..." You kiss him slowly moving towards your bed, you stop, look him innocently in the eye and ask, "Where do you wanna cum? My mouth or my pussy?"

"God, if you keep saying such things, I think i can cum just like this" His hand rubs all over your body, "For now, let's put that sinful mouth of yours into good use, okay?"

You nod, leading him to lie down on the bed.

If somebody would have told you, the previous day, that you out of all the people would blow Jeon jungkook, in your bed. You would have smacked them in the face.

You straddle him, and then you start Pickering kisses, first his mouth then his jaw. You have to admit he is a damn good kisser, you get so lost in the kissing that you almost miss that he is grinding himself onto your core. Coating himself with the slick. You feel your pussy tingling. You keep peppering kisses moving to his jawline, then his neck, biting a bit hard on his sweet spot to make sure it blooms with purple afterwards.

At one point he gropes you ass with one hand and pushes you down to grind with more force.

"Change of plans sweetheart. Do you have condoms?" He asks, eye sparking with lust.

You sit straight, a smirk plastered on your face, you bend towards your nightstand, and bring out a foil packet from your drawer.

"Always so fucking prepared" he slaps your ass, you gasp at the sting. He is looking at you, trying to figure out whether you liked it or not. You moan, with your eyes closed.

Jungkook is painfully hard now. If he doesn't put it inside you, he thinks he might burst out of sheer arousal.

"Baby.." he says in a raspy voice

You hurry up at this, you tear the foil and roll it onto him. You raise up to lie down but he grabs you. "Ride me.." voice octaves lower. You're so wet already, you don't think you need extra prepping. You come back to your stance and slowly sink in holding his member for guidance.

Both moan at the pleasure surging through the body. You're impressed by his strength, for holding out so long. He has his eyes tight shut, almost as if everything is too much for him. You feel great, warm where he is inside you. You notice how beautiful he looks under you. Head arched back into the pillow, he looks sexy as hell.

You were zoned out in your thoughts, when he snapped back. "Y/n move". And there you were riding the most handsome guy from campus. And you couldn't believe both of you were making such mind blowing noises. You piston on him for a while before getting tired, thankfully he got the message. He started thrusting his hips up to you with such a velocity that you didn't know was even possible. You could feel another orgasm right around the corner, but you didn't want to finish before him.

"Kook, are you close?"

"So close baby" he whined .

"Me too.. ughhh"

At this he moved his hands from your hips to your breasts. He gave a squeeze. His member was throbbing inside you.

"Come with me y/n" he said through gritted teeth. Suddenly he then spanked one of your boob, while other hand pressed on your clit. You didn't see it coming and the suprise helped to exceeded any pleasure you felt in your whole life. Heat surged from your fluttering cunt throughout your belly. Your orgasm hit you like a truck. It was so strong you couldn't hear anything for some seconds. That followed by ringing of your ears.

You don't know when did he flipped you on your back but you could see his eyes screwed shut, eyebrows drawn together. One last trust and he was coming with you. Your highest high lasted for a while, and left you with aftershocks. Jungkook collapsed on top of you, he hadn't pulled out yet and your sensitive sex was still clenching on him.

You both layed there motionless. It was he who moved first, pulling out with a slight hiss. He tossed his condom with a knot in the trash can and fell back on the bed with a thump. You were still slightly dazed out from the orgasm. He chuckled seeing you in the bliss.

"God, Jeon, i'll be sore tomorrow."

"Well I'll take that as a complement" he smiled.

"That was hot. You're hot" you replied turning away your head feeling shy, all of a sudden.

He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you close, "Damn baby, i didn't know i'd see this side of y/l/n ever."

"Don't stroke your ego too much jeon".

He kissed your shoulder and smiled, "Do you have any idea, how hot and pretty and beautiful you are?"

You looked at him, for the first time you saw how his eyes twinkled while talking to you.

So you just kiss him, which he welcomes whole heartedly.

The next day you step in the college campus feeling amazing. You have been smiling to yourself since the morning. Since Jungkook gave back your thesis, it was just an hour's work away from getting the final sweep before submission. You hit the library, finish off your work and finally submit it. Your proffessor was not surprised when you told him that Jungkook pranked you again. Even if he found it weird that you had no anger or resentment towards him, he didn't point it out. Now that you felt 10kgs lighter, you had one class to attend and then you were done for the week.

You were heading back to class, when some of your classmates commented, "Hey y/n, we're rooting for you both" . They glimmered while talking to you. Unfortunately they passed by too quickly for you to enquire. You entered the class, confused and zoned out enough that you don't eveb notice how everyone's eyes are on you.

"Y/l/n".

You know that voice. You look towards the last row, he stands, smiling at you. You didn't know what was happening, but your nerves were on fire. Your hands suddenly got clammy and your heart beat started to fasten. You internally scolded yourself.

*Calm down, it's just Jungkook*

He looked nervous? You could tell, it wasn't his usual cocky behaviour. He didn't know what to do with his hands. So he just let them hang. It's weird you think.

As your gears in your brain were working, you start walking towards him. But his voice stopped you.

"Y/n".. then he jutted out his chin, pointing behind you. You could hear your heart hammering.

You turn.

" Y/N Y/L/N, I'M SORRY, SAY YES.. PLEASE?

-J.K. "

There it was written on the white board. In bold capital letters.

Is this a joke? If it's a joke you're not going to be able to walk out of here. Did Jungkook sleep with you so that he could pull the biggest prank in history? But he said all those sweet things yesterday right?

Before you could react, Jungkook spoke behind you. You turned to find him in front of you. You were hyperaware now, the students who were entering silently took their seats looking at you two. This felt like a scene from the movies.

"Y/n, i'm sorry that all this time I made your life a living hell. But i'm also glad because otherwise I wouldn't have the chance to know you." He smiles, his nervousness showing.

He slowly takes your hand. You let him. You already feel the emotions surging inside you. Is he really going to ask you out in front of the whole class?

He takes a long pause. It's almost painful waiting for him to finish the speech. Then he says-

"I'm sorry, Y/n will you be my girlfriend?" He says in one breath.

You gasped. All you could do was just stare at him, staring you back. Suddenly you forgot how to speak. Jungkook breaks the silence. "Say something please, you're killing me here. I -"

"Yes". He stops speaking. Grin slowly spreading from ear to ear.

"ABOUT FUCKING TIME" Someone from the class cheers. Everybody starts clapping. You can't stop smiling. Jungkook pulls you towards him, hugging you. You hug him back.

"Aww guys just kiss each other already!!" Hoseok, spoke with a mischievous smiled plastered on his face.

Jungkook pulled your face towards him for a kiss. It was a sweet kiss. You smirked when you felt how badly he wanted to shove his tongue down your throat but refrained since you're in public. Seeing you smirk, he whispers to you. "I can't wait to take you to my place after this". You shiver at the thought.

____________________________________________

"Mmmmm, kook..." He kissed your neck. You could get used to this. Straddling his lap and making out.

"Yes baby.." u feel his smirk against your skin.

"I have a question." You said, putting a space between you two. He took your hands and started leaving pecks starting from your knuckles moving upwards. You giggled.

"Why didn't proffessor take our class today, like he came 1 hr late, gave us homework and went away. I feel like this has something to do with you asking me out.."

"Y/n, babe out of all the questions you could ask me while making out, you choose this?" He pretended to be offended. You smacked his chest looking at him expectantly.

He started- "Well I might have talked to the prof before class telling him, i kinda need a favour from him.. "

"WHAT?" U couldn't believe this boy.

"Perks of having good rapport with prof. Also i always pay attention in class. You should learn from me y/n.." he looked at you innocently. As if he was not kneading your ass right now.

"Jeon Jungkook please tell me that you at least made up a situation or does our proffessor has first hand knowledge about us being in love.." the L word just slipped out. You acted like you didn't notice. But he surely did.

He winked at you, smiling wide like he got a promotion. "What did you just say?"

"Ugh about what?"

" About us being in something."

He was so smug about this, you knew he had won. You leaned into him.

"Let me show you instead" you wispered in his ear. The hair on Jungkook's body stood up , he had goosebumps. He picked you up towards his bedroom.

"Goddamn I love you".

#jungkook x reader #bts smut #kpop smut #smut #oneshot #bts fluff #jungkook #jungkook fluff #fanfic #bts fanfic

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stanbillyhargrove · 3 years

Text

Demons - The Rewrite

Chapter 9 - There’s A Blade Where Your Heart Is And You Know How To Use It

First day of school

I was almost ready for school when there was a loud knock on the front door. My mom was in the kitchen and quickly opened the door before I could even get out of my room.

Billy leaned against the door frame, his red button down unbuttoned almost entirely, “morning ma'am. I’m Billy, here to pick up Cat for school,” he flashed a bright smile at her.

“Oh! Good morning, Billy, please, call me Julie. It’s nice to finally meet you. Come on in, she’s almost ready, want some toast?” she motioned for him to follow her inside.

“Sure, that would be nice. Thanks Julie,” he was still grinning as he closed the door and followed her to the kitchen.

I left my doorway to go back to my room and finish fluffing my hair, applying a generous amount of hairspray and calling it good without looking in the mirror. When I went out to the kitchen my mom and Billy were leaning against the counters, laughing and munching on peanut butter covered toast.

“Mmm morning,” Billy hummed.

I couldn’t help the smile that covered my face, seeing Billy look so care free made my heart contract happily, “you ready to go?”

He stuffed the last of his toast in his mouth, nodding and mumbling a “uh huh” around the wad of food.

My mom quickly handed me a slice before saying her good byes and turning back to clean up the kitchen.

When we got to Billy’s car I took a tiny bite of the toast before handing it to him, “here, want some more?”

He looked at me with scrunched eyebrows, “you’re not hungry?”

“I’m not really a breakfast person, plus you were stuffing your face like you haven’t eaten for days.“

Ha.

Billy laughed before grabbing the bread and taking a huge bite as he drove.

–

The morning went by in a blur of busy hallways and packed classrooms.

Of whispered rumors.

"Did you hear about the party last weekend? Someone was going around drugging people!”

And snide comments.

“Billy Hargrove beat Steve’s keg stand.”

“Who’s that new girl he’s with? Bet he dumps her in a week, just like the last one.”

And loud giggling.

“We have to start looking for dresses! Who are you going to the winter dance with?”

By lunch, I was itching for a run to clear my mind. I was on my way outside when Billy caught my arm and spun me to plant a kiss on my lips.

“You coming to watch basketball tryouts?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, in the gym. Let’s go,” he said, already leading me away from the front doors.

Billy was in the locker room changing when Steve came and sat next to me on the bleachers to begin questioning me.

“Did you eat today? Did you talk to Billy this weekend? Are you okay? You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?”

I huffed and looked up at his worried eyes, “I had some toast. No, I didn’t talk to Billy. Yes, I’m okay and I probably wouldn’t tell you,” I joked, poking my tongue out at him.

He scowled at me before I continued, “yes mom, I will talk to you. Anyway, my mom told me some girl was brought into the hospital Friday. She was drugged so I’m okay. It wasn’t me, no worries.”

Steve sighed in relief, “good. Well not good that it happened to anyone but…I’m glad you’re okay.”

He gave me a quick side hug as Billy and some other boys came out of the changing rooms and dashed off to join them on the court.

–

Billy stood leaning against his Camaro, waiting for me after school with smoke billowing from his lips in a thick grey cloud. When he saw me coming through the crowd of students he turned around to open the car door for me, allowing me just enough time to sit down before slamming it closed.

I waited for him to drop into the drivers seat beside me before turning to him with a cocked eyebrow, “what the hell? You almost took one of my limbs off slamming the door like that!”

“All your limbs were in the car,” he quipped, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot.

I glared out the window for a moment, did Billy find out about the party? But nothing happened, why would he be mad at me? Maybe now that school has started and he has seen all the other girls ready to throw themselves at his feet he’s decided I’m not worth it? My nails dug into my hand, biting into soft flesh.

“I saw you talking to Harrington,” he growled.

“Yeah, and? Steve and I are friends.”

“He was touching you though,” Billy’s hands tightened on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white, “he seems too interested in you…and kept giving me looks. Why the fuck is that? Does he know something I don’t? You two sleeping together and he feels bad about you stringing me along?” Billy’s jaw was tensing as he continued to drive, not looking at me.

I stared at him slack-jawed, “are you serious? He gave me a hug after he asked how I was after the party. You know, the party he took me home from since you weren’t there?”

“I was there, I told you I’d be late! You didn’t need to get shit faced right away!”

“Stop the car.”

“What?” He was looking at me now, finally.

“I said stop the fucking car, Billy!” I yelled, unlocking my door.

He rolled his eyes but pulled the car over to the side of the road. I quickly threw off my seat belt and opened the door, stepping out onto the dirt.

“What are you doing?”

“I’ll run home, I don’t need to be accused of shit just because you have issues. There was a girl drugged and raped at that party, remember that? Do you realize that could have been me? Steve found me passed out and brought me home safe, you should be thanking him.”

I looked at his eyes and knew I had struck through to his ego, but I still wanted to be alone.

I closed the door behind me and leaned into the window, “when you’re ready to apologize, you know where I’ll be.”

I picked up my pace as I got further from him, until I was running down the road, holding my bag in my hand to stop it from smacking my legs. The Camaro roared past me and didn’t stop. Just kept going until it was out of sight.

I ran almost every day for exercise, so running home was easy. The burning in my lungs and legs distracted me until I reached my front door, panting and sweaty. I was almost surprised to see that Billy wasn’t sitting parked in the driveway.

–

When Billy still hadn’t shown up by the time it got dark, I figured he thought I needed more time to cool off. Or maybe he wasn’t coming back. One strike and he cuts you out. No second chances.

I sighed and picked up the phone.

“Harringtons.”

“Steve? It’s Cat.”

“Hey! What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He questioned, instantly worried.

“I’m okay Steve, I just…couldn’t sleep. Talk to me for a bit?“

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“Billy’s mad at me, I think.”

He sucked air through his teeth, "did you tell him?”

“No, just..he got all jealous and mad about us talking at lunch. He almost slammed the car door on me and then started yelling.“

Steve laughed loudly in my ear, “Hargrove and I don’t get along. He beat the shit out of me last year, it’s just because it’s me you’re talking to. Did you give him an earful?”

“No, I got out of the car and ran home instead. Told him it’s not my fault you were there for me at the party and he wasn’t, that things could have ended up a lot worse.”

There was silence for a second, “you ran home?”

“It wasn’t really that far, exercise is good for you,” I answered quietly.

“You probably shouldn’t-”

“Steve,” I warned, "I’m fine. Just keeping fit.”

He sighed, “okay, sorry. So you ran home and now he’s ignoring you?”

“I guess so…I haven’t heard anything and usually he’s here by now.“

“I’m sure it’ll be okay and he’ll be there to pick you up in the morning. Probably trying to figure out what an apology is,” he chuckled.

I snorted, “I hope so.”

“And if he doesn’t show, call me, okay? I can pick you up.”

“Okay..hey, what’s this dance everyone’s going on about?”

“Oh the winter formal? It’s just a fancy dance. Didn’t your old school have one?”

Yes. But my boyfriend at the time didn’t like me working and I didn’t want to ask my parents for money for a dress. So I didn’t go and he hooked up with another girl from our class.

“I never got to go.”

“Oh, well…girls get a bit wild about it, buy dresses a year in advance kinda thing. There’s a committee for planning that everyone wants to join.”

“You taking Nancy?”

“That’s the plan. You think you’ll want to go?”

“I’m not sure, I don’t know if Billy would want to…and I’d have to go shopping.”

Shopping.

The word I absolutely hated the most. Breakdowns in the change room. Trying on clothes and being forced to stare and be stared at.

“I need to get a new shirt, we could go together if you want.”

Maybe that would be okay. Maybe Steve’s gaze would be soft enough to not feel scrutinized under.

“I’ll let you know.. night, Steve.”

“Good night, Cat.”

@charmed-asylum

#billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove series #billy hargrove fic #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic

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jbbarnesnnoble · 4 years

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Letters to Nowhere

Summary: It’s been three years since you lost Natasha. You write her one final letter as you prepare to move forward into the next chapter of your life with someone knew

Features: A dash of sadness with happiness

Pairing: Past Natasha Romanoff/Reader; Wanda Maximoff/Reader

Notes: This is a follow up to ‘Ocean’ and ‘Living with Goodbye’ and is canonical to that universe where ‘Notice’ is an AU of that same universe...if that makes sense

Word Count: 1368

The pen dug into the paper, leaving indents on the page beneath it. Three years on and it wasn’t as frequent as it used to be. You felt stable and dare you say, happy even. But there were days where it was hard, where the pain blindsided you. You weren’t sure that would ever stop. You had long since put photos back on the walls, packed up her things into boxes that sat on a shelf, bar a few things you still couldn’t part with.

A year after you had lost her, Steve found you holding your phone, crying. You had called her phone, just wanting to hear her voice, before replaying the last voicemail you’d had from her. For every step you made forward, sometimes it seemed like it was two steps back in the healing process. You had come to terms with losing her, but you hadn’t come to terms with how things ended, with how the five years leading up to that moment had gone. You weren’t sure you ever would, no matter how much time passed.

You never thought you would say Steve Rogers was one of your best friends, but he was a shoulder to lean on, someone who didn’t push you harder than necessary when it came to your healing. He was the only one who knew about the box of letters and about the phone calls, which had stopped when Natasha’s number was reassigned. That day had been hard on you.

You remembered the letter you had written to her that day. It was short and to the point.

December 17, 2024

My Natasha,

They gave your number away. I should have expected it sooner, if I’m being honest. I wanted to scream, but I didn’t. I explained to the person who picked up that it had been your number and I was really missing you. I apologized for the disturbance and when I hung up, I blocked it. Better than blindly calling in the middle of the night if things get bad, you know?

I’m not doing so well, Tasha. It’s been over a year and it still hurts. I still have moments where I wish it was Clint instead and then I feel like a monster. I know you. And I know why you made the decision you did but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Steve of all people has become one of my biggest pillars of support. Steve. Can you believe it? I suppose at the end of the day, we’ve been dealt a similar hand by fate. His love was lost to time. My love was lost to the job we chose. But love lost is love lost. And he lost you too. I try to remember I’m not the only one who lost you, but it’s hard. It’s hard Tasha and I’m still learning life without you.

I miss you. I’m trying. I hope you’d be proud of me for how far I’ve come since last year. Sometimes it feels like I haven’t moved forward at all. Then I remember I’ve been writing less than I was in the beginning. I’m crying less than I was then. I’m talking to Clint again. I can look at old photos without wanting to breakdown. It’s progress.

Love you always,

The letters always went in the shoebox. The box was almost overflowing with the letters that were in there. Today, you were determined to have it be the last letter you put in the box. It had been a long time since you’d written one. You and Natasha had been complicated individuals. You had been an even more complex couple. Thanos had served to damn near destroy your relationship and your friendship. Natasha was a friend you had never wanted to lose. Before you had ever dated, she was one of your closest friends.

You had just signed the latest letter, the last one, and put it in the envelope when you heard the bedroom door open. You gave Steve a look. He glanced at you, taking in your appearance

“You look beautiful. You ready?” he asked softly.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be completely ready, Steve. But I have to move forward. Do you think she’s happy, wherever she is?” you asked him. He brought a hand up to your face, wiping the tear that had fallen. To anyone else, it would look like an intimate moment between a couple. But to those who knew better, it was two broken people, holding tight to what they had left.

“She would have wanted you to move on. It’s a new chapter for you,” he told you, as he pulled you into a hug.

“Rogers I swear to god, if her makeup is a mess, you’re a dead man,” Pepper said as she returned to the room.

“Yes ma’am,” he said. You set the letter in the box and turned the lock. Maybe one day, someone would find the box. But for now, it would remain on the top shelf of the closet, tucked out of sight.

“She’s going to tear up when she sees you,” Pepper said.

“Clint said she’s just as nervous,” Steve said. You smiled at the mention of her, of Wanda. Where you had leaned on Steve as a friend, Wanda had become something more to you in the years since the Blip.

“You ready?” Steve asked, offering his arm.

“Yeah. I think I am,” you said. Pepper led the two of you to an entryway. The grounds of the compound were set for a wedding, a small group of close friends. You and Wanda were entering from opposite sides to meet at the altar. Clint was walking with her, while Steve was walking with her. Not to give either of you away, but as support. You had both wanted to include tradition in a way. As the processional started, you saw a rainbow overhead, which was odd, given how beautiful a day it was, without a cloud in sight. You thought back to the letter you had written just that morning.

September 5, 2026

My Dearest Tasha,

I’m getting married today. I wish it was you, but it’s not. But at the same time, I’m incredibly happy with her, so excited to be marrying her. When I first started seeing her, I felt like I was betraying you somehow. When I told her I loved her for the first time, my heart broke a little too. When we got engaged, it was bittersweet. Call it what you will, but I feel like you were there every step. When we got engaged, it started snowing. In the middle of October in New York City, when there was none in the forecast. You know how I love the snow. We had gone into the city to see a musical and she proposed after lunch, when we went for a walk in Central Park.

Wherever you are, Tasha, know that you will always be in my heart, no matter where life takes me. I wish the end for us had been better than it was, not only the part where I lost you, but everything that led up to it. I thought I could never love someone the same way again, and in some ways, I don’t love her the way I loved you. It’s a different kind of love. But god, I love her.

Steve’s walking with me down the aisle. He got married last year. Sharon Carter. They really are adorable together, Tash. They’re having a kid soon, a daughter. Bucky and Sam have been fighting over who’s going to be the godfather since they announced the pregnancy.

Wanda and I have talked about kids, about what we want. It’s scary, Tasha. All I know is, when we do have kids, they’ll hear about Aunt Nat, about what a badass you were, and about how much you loved those you cared about.

Say hey to Tony to me. Morgan’s growing up to be a strong young woman. He would be proud of her.

Love always,

As you reached the altar, you smiled as you took Wanda’s hand in yours. Yeah, things were going to be alright.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff/reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff reader insert #scarlet witch/reader #scarlet witch x reader #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel reader insert #marvel #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff/reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romanov/reader #natasha romanov x reader

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doof-doofblog · 4 years

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"I'm Going To Plead Guilty!"

Friday 9th October 2020

Hello again everyone! Hope you're all keeping okay. Finally I'll be getting all up to date and writing about Friday's episode today. I'm not going to keep you all hanging, let's jump straight to it! After the events on what happened the previous day, Whitney is stood in the Courtroom alone, after how Gray acted in court, she can't seem to get it out of her mind. As Sonia joins her, she worries that Gray could be having some kind of mental breakdown. Sonia instructs her not to think about Gray, today is about her and it's her time to have her say! But has the damage already been done?!

At home, Gray is sat on the stairs, clinging to their stair banister, as Keegan is banging on his front door, telling him that the family need to see him to make sure he's okay. He did a disappearing act at his wife's funeral, surely the Taylor family are going to realise that something isn't right with Gray. He is struggling more now than before. At the Minute Mart, Billy is doing everything he can to try and cheer Karen up, he suggests taking her away from the Square just for the day, but Karen is insistent she needs to be around for Mack and Mia. She is clearly still grieving for her daughter but I think most importantly, she's feeling the need to perhaps talk to Gray, she wants an explanation as to why he missed his wife's funeral! As she leaves the shop, Honey praises Billy for trying to do the right thing. She realises it was him who got Mitch and Karen talking again. This little moment between Honey and Billy was really pretty cute, they're a bit like Kat and Alfie aren't they? I truly believe that Honey and Billy belong together! Don't you guys agree? I do kind of sense there is something still there between the two.

At the Carter household, Mick is looking over paperwork for his day in court. Linda joins him and asks if he's okay. Do any of you guys feel that their marriage is currently on the rocks right now? They're not talking to one another, they're keeping secrets from each other and the way they're speaking to each other isn't really very nice. I think it's been a while since Mick called Linda '"L"? It's also been a long time since either of them of showed the other any affection. Mick informs his wife that he's contemplating telling the truth about what he saw the night Leo died. But Linda is quick to tell him not to! She worries that if he does he'll be sent down for perverting the course of justice! She tells him he doesn't have a choice other than sticking to what he said in his statement, Mick then drops the line "So you're the only one who gets to tell the truth?" - is he making a dig at his wife for coming clean about the kiss she had with Max?! But little does he know that she's also not informing him about the big sip of alcohol she had the other night!

Meanwhile at the Taylor household, Karen is still grief stricken as she unloads her grocery shopping, both Mitch and Keegan are there as she rants about Gray not being there for Chantelle, she can't understand why he would leave her on the day of her own funeral. Mitch tries to reassure his ex that no matter what happens he will always be there to support her. But Karen can't take it anymore, after she almost kissed Mitch she's been feeling worse. As soon as Mitch tries to comfort her, she snaps! She tells him that even though they both love Chantelle, that's as far as things will go between them. She informs him that she is with Billy now and she loves him and the only way she'll be able to move forward is if he moves out. Mitch is clearly saddened by this as it's clear he was wanting things to be move forward with Karen, he was hoping of possibly rekindling their relationship?

At the Slaters, Kat and Jean are literally scrounging their house to find some money to pay Suki. Stacey says she'll be able to flog all her designer gear online and pay the rent that way, but Jean informs her that she's given the majority of it back to Ruby, seeing as it was bought with her money. Stacey is furious with her Mother for going behind her back, just as voices are about to be raised, Kush walks in. Jean informs him that if they don't come up with rent soon, they will all be living on the streets, Kush reassures her and tells her not to worry. It's then he pulls out from behind his back a massive wad of cash. Kat and Stacey are visibly happy to see him with the amount of money he's holding, but Jean looks just a little suspicious. Where did he get that amount of money from?! Is Kush hiding something?

Back at court, Whitney is finally having her say! The judge asks the question whether her relationship with Leo was a serious one, he also states the fact that she has had many men in her life. Whitney does as Sonia says and stands up for herself ... Can I just say how brilliant she was at this part?! I love how cocky she was saying that the main reason she was there is because Leo pulled a knife out on her, but if they want to know about her past relationships she'll be happy to tell them. She goes on to inform them about both Lee and Callum and she confirms that she is still friends with them to this day, regardless of their relationships falling apart. She makes the perfect point that if she is guilty of anything is for her taste in men!

Meanwhile, Habiba is still eager to get Jags out of prison. She walks up to the station with a huge protest board, reading "Free The Jaguar". As she arrives, we can already see that Jags is sat in a police car, ready to be sent away after confessing to the crime. Habiba rushes to her boyfriends aid and pleads to him to tell the truth, she asks him to look her in the eyes if he did attack Martin, obviously he can't do that, he looks down towards his feet. She pleads to the police officer to let her have one last word with her boyfriend before he's taken away. She rushes back to the window and tells him that he has to tell the truth, otherwise, how are they going to be able to get married? Jags looks through the window in confusion, it's then she pulls out a ring and purposes to her boyfriend. But he knows he can't, he doesn't respond and Habiba is left heartbroken as the car drives away.

Finally, Mick has arrived in court is about to have his say to defend Whitney! It's clear that Mick is feeling very nervous already - realising that he's having to lie in court. This scene was also a brilliant one, I don't really know how to explain it but I think it was just so clever! As Mick is being asked very difficult questions about his relationship with Whitney and about what happened the night Leo died, Mick is quite clearly shaken, his breath his raspy. To me, it looks as if he's about to have another panic attack. Everything Mick is hearing goes all fuzzy, the room goes blurry and he can barely breathe. He tries to loosen his tie, suddenly he collapses to the floor and Whitney and Sonia are left in shock!

Iqra finally catches up with her sister, after her failed attempt to get Jags to admit the truth. Habiba is looking saddened as she asks her whether she knows anyone who would like an engagement ring, as Jags didn't appear to want it. Iqra is surprised to hear that her sister popped the question. Ash happens to overhear the conversation and she gives her apologies to Habiba. She then tells both the girls that she's convinced that the only reason Jags won't say he's innocent is because he's got himself involved with some really heavy serious criminals. But then, I think Ash slips up a little - she reassures her that that isn't the case, as she says this both Iqra and Habiba look at her, and it clicks to Habiba that Ash knows something! She demands Ash to tell them what she knows, but she's quick to defend her family. Habiba is angry as she leaves the room and Iqra explains to her girlfriend that her sister is just upset and that she believes her. Ash breathes a sigh of relief. I think the Panesar family are going to be really careful what they say around Habiba now ... or should Habiba be the one who needs to be careful? If Suki finds out that Habiba is trying to find the truth, she'll surely act to make sure she doesn't uncover it!

At the Vic, Whitney and Sonia are informing Sharon about what happened to Mick at Court. Suddenly, Linda enters asking Whitney where Mick has go to, she also asks her how he got on in Court. Whitney informs Linda that Mick didn't say anything - but as she's about to explain as to why - Linda interrupts her, saying how Mick had been stressed and worried about going to Court and everything. Suddenly, Sharon drops her foot in it and asks whether Mick is out of hospital, Linda looks confused and looks to both Whitney and Sonia. Sonia then informs her that he collapsed with a panic attack whilst on the stand, the fact that the judge gave him a tough time and questioned him about his previous fling with Whitney. Linda dashes off to find her husband. Whitney then pulls out her phone to make a phone, whoever it is she's speaking to, she informs them it's urgent. As she leaves the Vic, Suki and Vinny can be seen sat having a drink together, Suki watches in disgust as Whitney leaves the pub and makes the nasty comment that she should be the one in prison. Suddenly, Kush makes himself known, he throws the rent money on the table in front of them saying he'll give the rest to them later, as he turns away we can see him playing poker on his phone. Is this going to be a new storyline for Kush now? In recent episodes we've heard the odd mention of him and Martin playing online poker and honestly - I didn't think much of it at first, but now it seems to be becoming a big part of Kush's life. Is that how he managed to get the rent money for Suki? Is Kush going to become a gambling addict? If so, I think it would be a very interesting story, plus to someone who's so level-headed. Kush is a character who cares about his family very much, I don't think he's ever put a foot wrong - other than perhaps sleeping with his best friend's wife - but I don't think we've seen a gambling addiction for a very long time. I think it would be a brilliant storyline, however a very distressing one - what do you guys think?

Back at home, Linda is on the phone to the hospital, frantic to find out information about her husband. But then Mick finally makes himself home, Linda is clearly relieved to see him. This conversation is another interesting one, he looks like he's in a world of his own as he speaks to his wife. He informs her that he was going to tell them truth before he had his panic attack. Linda informs him that she's been told about what happened in Court, what they questioned him about. It's then Mick starts to say that it was all his fault, it shouldn't have happened, he should've stopped it! Part of me is thinking that he's talking about Frankie. Is Frankie what's on his mind right now? Linda obviously seems to think that he's talking about Whitney, she assures him that he's been forgiven and everything in the past doesn't matter to them now. But is that really the case? It's still going to be a huge shock when Linda finds out about Frankie! I don't know about you guys, but I'm really looking forward to that secret coming out!

The final scene of the episode, Whitney and Sonia have met up with her solicitor? I'm guessing it's her solicitor anyway? Whitney has called them together wanting to know what her chances are, but it looks as if her mind has already been made up. She knows that she's not going to get away with it, even by the look of the jury, she knows she's going to be sent to prison. Sonia tells her to stay strong, stay positive and fight, but has Whitney had enough? Does she know it'll be pointless as she believes she'll be going to prison anyway? She takes a deep breath and reveals to Sonia that she's going to plead guilty to the murder of Leo!

There are so many things happening in the soap right now, and there so many twists and turns coming. I believe there are many ways in which all the story-lines could go. I'm sorry if this blog is a little boring, I'm trying to make sure I mention/highlight I feel which are the important parts of the episode. I hope you'll all enjoy reading, if you have any ideas on how I can make this blog a little better, please don't hesitate to throw me some ideas. I'd love to hear what you guys think! Anyway, thank you all for reading. I hope you all enjoy your weekend. I'll be back on Monday evening with the start of a whole new week! Have a brilliant weekend everyone and I'll be back very soon xXx

#eastenders #whitneydean #soniafowler #mickcarter #lindacarter #grayatkins #mitchbaker #karentaylor #suki panesar #jags panesar #habibaahmed #iqraahmed #ashpanesar #jeanslater #staceyslater #kushkazemi #frankielewis #billymitchell #honeymitchell

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gruviafan-forever · 4 years

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DAY VI:- FAILURE

TIMELINE: During one year time skip after the Alvarez empire war.

Ever since the war ended in favour of Fairy Tail, but the damages caused by it affected the whole of Fiore.

Fairy Tail before fully enjoying the victory which they won had to help the mayor in rebuilding Magnolia to its former glory which took nearly two months.

Every member of the guild happily assisted in the construction job while the severely injured ones were under the care of Wendy and Porlyusica for some time even though they were healed at the war field.

Once the guild was built back, everyone partied around rambunctious which was their hallmark factor.

While team Natsu were busy enjoying the party atmosphere except for Gray, as he sat by the bar with a mug of beer in his hand and fully clothed.

Ever since the war, Gray had been sulking and avoided contact with anyone who tried to make a conversation with him including Juvia.

For a moment after winning the war, they had really enjoyed the joyous occasion but once things calmed down, the events that happened during the war began to dawn upon them.

When compared to Juvia, Gray was burdened by guilt even more. He had failed to protect his only significant person whom he thought would be always by his side.

That day, if he had just acted a bit sooner, Juvia wouldn't have stabbed herself in order to save him. But both of them had simultaneously stabbed themselves so that the other one could be safe.

But how could one be safe and happy without their significant other. There at that moment, Gray realised he had also failed to give her his answer which he had promised her.

When Gray felt himself waking up which he hadn't expected to, he was shocked to see as Juvia used her secret technique to save him at cost of her life.

Gray was petrified and despondent when he held Juvia's lifeless body. He literally begged her to wake up but she remained still in his arms.

Later he pulverised Invel for stealing Juvia's future which also included his future. But once, he saw her alive after the fight with Natsu, that's when he felt relief wash over and thanked the universal force for giving him his second valuable chance.

Without him knowing, he began to tear up just from those haunting flashbacks without realizing his current area.

Gray grasped when he felt someone high him from behind which startled him a bit.

"Gray-sama, Juvia missed you" Her soft arms were around his shoulders.

"Please don't tear up, Gray-sama." Juvia whispered in his ears and that's when he raised his hand to wipe away those unknown tears.

Gray and others were used to Juvia's show of affection and thus, their this particular moment didn't catch anyone's attention for now.

Juvia sat next to Gray and kept looking at him with a smile, "Gray-sama, how are you? Sorry, Juvia couldn't come and see for these two months since the war."

Gray now being composed, "Nah! I'm sorry that I didn't pay you a visit for these many days. As you know….."

Before he could finish up his reasons, they heard Cana's voice from the centre of the hall and on either side were the hyperactive dragon slayers.

"Okay here, let's have a meaningful match instead of your useless brawl. See here, this is magic handcuffs. I will tie both of you together by wrist. This cuffs will only break when one of you have been defeated." Cana said while gulping her booze bottle while the dragon slayers smirked and accepted the challenge which caused uproar in the guild and began to place bets.

Both the water and ice duo were startled and flashbacks of their most haunting moments came in front of their eyes.

Of course, it will take some time to heal those emotional injuries and these reckless plays were making it slower.

Gray stood up angry and dashed out of the guild while others called out which just fell on the deaf ears. Juvia apologised and excused herself to attend to her Gray-sama's needs.

From there, Gray went to his apartment knowing very well that Juvia's following him. He left the door open and sat on th4 couch with his face covered by his sweaty palms.

Juvia entered the room and saw her beloved depressed and on the verge of a breakdown.

"Gray….sama…"

Gray hugged her and cried on her bosoms just the way he did when Juvia revealed she was the reason for his dad's passing away.

"I'm sorry, Juvia. I'm really sorry for everything I did and more importantly for hurting for feelings."

Juvia began to tear and caressed his back and consoled him, "No Gray-sama, what are you apologising for? Gray-sama didn't hurt Juvia. It's because of you Juvia's who she's today. Remember the Juvia of Phantom and see the Juvia of Fairy Tail, that drastic change is because of you."

Gray lifted his head and saw her smiling at him with those tears still flowing down, "But it's because of me, it's because of my inability to protect you that made you go through those awful experiences. I failed you…."

"I'm a failure for not protecting the one who means everything to me." He tried to reason out with her.

"No Gray-sama, Juvia's Gray-sama will never be a failure. Just like you wanted to protect Juvia, even she felt the same. That's why, she happily sacrificed herself as Juvia can never hurt her Gray-sama."

She said while placing her hands on his cheeks and wiping away the tears.

Suddenly, Juvia opened her coat and now she stood just in a bra in front of Gray who had the courtesy to blush and turn away instantly.

But Juvia had other plan, "Gray-sama, open your shirt"

Gray did as she said and both now stood semi-naked in front of each with a flushed face.

"Gray-sama, look here" She pointed out the scar on her and his body.

"See Juvia knows how important scars are for you. These scars are proof of our love" Then she corrected herself as Gray didn't give her answer still, "That's what Juvia believes. She sees them as an evidence that we are alive for one another and can have a future together if Gray-sama wishes to have one."

Gray instantly hugged her and whispered in her ears, "Thank you Juvia….. Thanks for everything you have done for this loser. Thank you…"

"Anything for Juvia's Gray-sama"

Juvia didn't urge him for the answer which he had promised in fear of ruining their rare, special moment but decided to wait until Gray himself tells her one day which she hoped will be sooner.

#gruviaweek2020 #gruviaweek #gruvia #fairy tail gray #juvia loxar #gray x juvia #ft gray #gray fullbuster #ft juvia

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monstasxbebe · 5 years

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𝕯𝖊𝖓 𝖔𝖋 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘 𝕮𝖍.1

Teaser # 1 | Teaser # 2

Pairings: Hoseok/Kihyun/Minhyuk (Endgame), Jooheon/Changkyun/Hyunwoo/Hyungwon (Endgame)

Genre(s): Angst, Drama, Romance, Smut, Fluff

Pairing: Explicit (18+)

Tags: Puppy Play, Slowburn, Bondage, Poly Relationship, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism BDSM Dynamics, Explicit sex, Voluntary Feminization,Shibari, Enemies to Lovers, non-idol Au, Member x Member

WC: 2.7k+

Ao3 Link

“Harder!”

The bed rocked below them, the combined sound of the frame groaning in protest being accompanied by the headboard knocking against the wall.

“You’re giving a lot of orders here for someone who begged me to fuck you.”

There was a muttered protest, but it was cut off when he bit into the cream colored shoulder in front of him. The larger man couldn’t help the grin stretching across his lips as the younger man below him whimpered from the sting. They had been going at it for a while, and he could tell from the tightness around him and the way his partner’s fists tightened and pulled in the sheets, that they were nearing the end.

He put his hand between the whimpering man’s shoulders, pushing him until he was face down, his hips slapping hard against the other man’s ass with every long, hard thrust. The moaning beneath him peaked, and he could feel the other man trembling below him, his breathing ragged and uneven.

“Moan my name.” He suddenly panted, leaning over the lithe man’s frame, pulling his hair to get his attention back on the demand. Silky brunette locks peeked out from between his fingers as the man looked back at him, eyes shining in a flurry of mixed emotions that almost made him cum right there.

“H-Hoseok, please-”

“Moan my name. Or you can finish yourself off.” Hoseok’s lips quirked at the way the other man’s eyes darkened. He glared daggers at him, but one roll of the hips in a certain direction, and he was putty in his hands, gripping his forearm so tight it hurt as he cried out for him.

“Hoseok! Fuck, faster faster! Hoseok!” He cried, his walls tight around Hoseok’s cock.

Satisfied, he pressed his sweaty chest against the man’s back, fucking him for all he was worth. He came first, but he smirked as the other man came untouched, his entire body tensing before he trembled, falling face first into a pillow once Hoseok stopped supporting him.

He smirked, slapping his ass.

“Good boy, Kihyun.”

Kihyun turned, tiredly looking at him with that same mixed swirl of emotions in his eyes. He opened his mouth to retort, and Hoseok was sure that it would be some declaration about how much he hated his guts, but all Hoseok could hear was a horribly familiar screeching.

‘Brrrng! Brrrrng!’

Hoseok grunted, cracking an eye open, hissing when the stream of light peeking from between his curtains flooded his vision. Groaning, he extended his arm, reaching over to silence the clock blaring at him from the corner of his nightstand. Rubbing his eyes, he sighed, his thick arm falling to the side, dangling off the edge of his bed as he tried to collect himself.

He’d been having dreams like that ever since he’d been moved into his new department. They were always the same, with him roughly fucking his Team Leader, Yoo Kihyun. It left him with more than enough stained boxers and frustration and looking down, he could tell today was no different.

Just great.

He rolled out of bed, yanking his shirt over his head and his boxers down his hips, tossing them in the hamper at the corner of his room, disappearing into the bathroom. He rolled his neck as he turned on the water, trying to gather his thoughts as he let it warm up.

Today wasn't just any ordinary day.

It was October 21st, a day circled several times on the ramen calendar he had hanging on the wall near his door.

The day his team started working on their 20th anniversary special magazine.

Hoseok stood under the spray, his shoulders tense.

He worked at Starship Inc., a fashion company based out of Seoul. They had expanded their brand, selling magazines as far as Europe and America. He had worked in the Communications team for over a year until he was abruptly transferred over to the Magazine Team.

That’s when his life began to take a chaotic turn.

Apparently, someone from the Fashion Magazine team had a breakdown and cracked under the pressure, quitting abruptly just a week before the team had to start working on the magazine. Kihyun, the head of the team, had looked over people from multiple departments, seeing if anyone had similar qualifications as the now missing employee and by the luck of the draw, Hoseok was the one that had been selected.

The man stepped out of the shower, walking over to the sink to look at himself in the mirror. He brushed his bangs out of his eyes and set to start blow-drying his hair as he got lost in thought again.

Kihyun was a bit more than a perfectionist. He didn’t hold anything back, speaking his mind whenever someone did something he found unfavorable or unproductive and Hoseok could respect that, to a degree. However, it seemed the man had it out for him specifically at times, scrutinizing everything he did.

It annoyed Hoseok to no end. He was a rookie to that particular department, dealt with the shitty hand of fate, and now he had to be on the receiving end of Kihyun’s tangents almost daily.

In the next room, his phone rang.

Hoseok blinked out of his daze, sticking his head out into the cool bedroom so he could hear who’s ringtone it was. When he recognized the familiar, slightly off-key sound of him and his coworker Hyungwon singing a karaoke cover of Sexy Back, he crossed the room in a flash, nearly dropping his phone from how quickly he snatched it up.

“Hello?”

“Hyung, where the hell are you?”

Hoseok tensed, cursing under his breath when he saw the time. He’d lost track of time again while he was in the shower. His shift started in 10 minutes.

“Fuck, stall for me.”

“What? And deal with Kizilla myself?”

“I swear, I’ll treat you to as many Americanos as you want, just please stall for me.” Hoseok grunted while hopping around, one of his legs in a pair of white pants. He could hear Hyungwon sigh from the other end, but he could almost see the smile on his face.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll hold you to that. Just get here.”

The line went dead at the same time Hoseok stumbled into his nightstand, eyes growing wide as the lamp at the edge teetered and began falling. He reached out hastily, cringing as his hip collided with the edge of the wood.

Great. His morning was already off to a chaotic start.

He quickly put the rest of his clothes on, and rushed out of the door, nearly colliding with a couple on the street as soon as he did so.

“Sorry!” He tossed over his shoulder, continuing his mad dash down the block. He ran the scenarios through his head over and over again. He was a few minutes late, yes, but working under Kihyun had all but turned the man into a track star when it came to making into the office before the Team Leader could notice his absence.Hoseok had gotten lucky, securing a condo not too far from Starship Inc., which made his morning mad dashes slightly less hectic.

If he was lucky, he could slip into the office before Kihyun got there and everything would be fine. Hyungwon was a master at stalling, in the event that the redheaded Team Leader got there first.

Hoseok’s face lit up as Starship came into view.

He’d been working for the company for well over a year but it still took his breath away every time he saw the building. It was a tall building, with an impressive 42 floors. The exterior was decorated with beautiful flowers and bushes (planted by some of the employees just a few months ago in spring). They had little cotton cobwebs and small ghost cutouts on them to remind the employees that Halloween was fast approaching and as soon as Hoseok rushed through the doors, there was an explosion of color.

The tiles of the lobby formed a beautiful stained glass-inspired image of a starship, the logo for the company.

He didn’t have time to admire it, however, as he rushed into the elevator, leaning against the wall as the doors began to close. He panted, closing his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. He kept them closed for the time being. His stomach always did flips when he got on the elevator. Hoseok had serious acrophobia but he usually was able to suppress the fear if he could keep his eyes closed or keep himself distracted. His mind drifted back to his current situation and how he could sneak into the office and not be noticed.

Maybe Hoseok would get lucky, maybe he wouldn’t run into Kihyun before he got safely into the office and join the team meeting before the brunette arrived-

“You do know you are to report to the team meeting at 8 o’clock sharp, right?”

...Fuck.

Hoseok cracked his eyes open, swallowing down a curse as Kihyun stood in front of him, leering at him. He bowed slightly, biting his lip to keep the sarcastic retort he had on the tip of his tongue from coming out.

“S-Sorry, I woke up late.” Why the fuck aren’t you at the damn meeting, then?

“Woke up late? The first day of the most important project this company will see for the next couple of decades, and you woke up late? That’s the best you can come up with? Unbelievable.” Kihyun laughed humorlessly in disbelief, rubbing his temple. Hoseok stood up straight, scooting aside so Kihyun could press the button to their floor.

God, this was going to be an awkward elevator ride. Hoseok silently wished there would be one more interruption, just so he and Kihyun didn’t have to be alone in a steel box slowly taking them to the 39th floor. He already felt anxious every time he had to go into the damn thing because of his acrophobia and this wasn’t helping.

His wish was granted when the doors began closing once more, but a converse wedged itself in between them, effectively stopping them from fully closing as a man scooted right in. He situated himself right between Kihyun and Hoseok, running a hand through his hair.

The man looked like he had just rolled out of a private school, with a sweater on underneath a gray plaid blazer. He adjusted his tie and Hoseok let out a small sigh of relief now that there was someone to buffer the awkward tension between him and his boss, and keep his mind off the elevator's ascent. It was a win-win scenario.

“I wasn't aware you'd be coming back today. No one informed me.” Kihyun spoke after a moment, watching the third man out of the corner of his eye.

“That's because I specifically made sure not to mention when I'd be back.” the other man quipped, checking under his nails for imaginary specks of dirt. Hoseok glanced between the two men for a moment, blinking in surprise when he recognized the man to be Lee Minhyuk.

He was Starship’s Logistics Manager, which would usually place him somewhere in the Accounting Area, but apparently he took up several other jobs Hoseok wasn’t immediately aware of that landed him a chair and a sub-office in the Magazine Team’s office. The younger man didn’t look like it at first, but he was an incredibly hard worker.

A hard worker with a clear disdain for Kihyun, so the two often came to butt heads in their office, with the rest of the team scrambling to stay out of the line of fire.

Realizing he hadn’t greeted him, Hoseok sent him a small smile after he stretched.

“Welcome back, Minhyuk-ah. You were gone for a while this time, huh?” He turned his body to the taller man, missing the side glance Kihyun sent the two of them before he rolled his eyes, going back to scrolling through something on his mini tablet as they ascended.

“Yeah, I usually don’t have to go to the warehouse to check the goods, but there was an issue this time around. It’s good to be back, I hope you all didn’t get too comfortable without me.” He hummed, sending Kihyun a nasty look when the man snorted from his corner of the elevator.

“Anyway, if I may, what happened to your hip?” Minhyuk inquired, those bright eyes drifting down Hoseok’s abdomen to land on his hip. Hoseok blinked, tilting his head.

“My hip?”

Minhyuk hummed, stepping closer. Long, nimble fingers moved downward, lifting Hoseok’s shirt ever so slightly to expose the discolored splotch, brushing against the skin slightly. Hoseok flinched slightly, feeling a sharp pain. He looked down, grabbing the end of his shirt, lifting it a bit higher without a second thought. His lips pulled down into a frown when he saw the size of the bruise.

“Aigoo, it really did a number on me.” he mused.

“Yah! Put your shirt down, where do you think you are?!” Kihyun scolded, startling the older man. Hoseok jolted before clearing his throat, lowering his shirt. Minhyuk snickered behind the clipboard in his arms.

“Leave it to Kihyun to have dirty thoughts, hm? Better watch out for such a perverted boss.”

“Says the one that lifted his shirt in the first place!”

“Quit getting your panties in a bunch, I'm sure you've been in your fair share of inappropriate situations at work.”

Hoseok stayed silent as both of them leered at one another. He wondered what the story behind that was.

There was plenty of rumors that had circled around the office about how exactly Kihyun got his position. Things like him having illegal ties from some mafia family, blackmailing the CEO, or the most popular rumor: that he slept his way to the top through Choi Seokwon, the son of Starship's owner and CEO.

Hoseok didn't pay them any mind. Most of them were outlandish and crass and he tried not to put labels on people if he could help it. Kihyun was probably the most abrasive boss he'd ever worked under and it hurt his pride whenever the younger man went off on him, but he was still an amazing worker, nonetheless.

It still didn't explain the bad blood between Kihyun and Minhyuk but Hoseok casually moved around, settling himself between them to bow at Kihyun as he apologized.

“Sorry. I wasn't thinking.” he mused. Kihyun clicked his tongue in mild annoyance but nodded in acknowledgement.

Minhyuk pushed up his fake glasses, humming as they got to their designated floor. Hoseok sighed in relief when the elevator dinged. He'd be able to get some fresh air and hopefully Kihyun wouldn't send him too many death glares during their meeting.

As the doors slid open, Hyungwon darted into view as he grabbed his shoulders.

“Okay, so Kihyun hasn't showed up yet, which means you have a good chance at not being-” the tall man paused, looking over at Hoseok’s left, seeing Kihyun not even a few feet away, cocking a brow when Hyungwon swallowed nervously.

“....Caught.” He deflated, shoulders dropping.

Kihyun's cat like eyes rolled as he put a hand on his hip.

“What is this, ‘Everyone Piss Off Kihyun Day?’”

Minhyuk snickered and strolled past the three men.

“As much as I’d love that to be the case, we still have a job to do. Save the lecture for later, we should get started.” He reminded them. Kihyun clicked his tongue and pushed past Hyungwon and Hoseok, making his way down the hall.

Hyungwon gently pat Hoseok on the back as they followed a few feet away.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad. He seems mad but not too mad, so maybe-”

“By the way, you can go get coffee for the team since you were late, Hoseok. Don’t take too long, the meeting is already behind.” Kihyun threw over his shoulder, glaring daggers at the older man. Hoseok sent him a smile, biting back the urge to whine in frustration. He wasn’t that late, and Kihyun and Minhyuk were both late to the thing, too! Why was it just him being punished?

Instead, he bowed and turned on his heel.

“No problem. I’ll hurry.” He muttered, heading the opposite direction to go to their breakroom to make the coffee. Kihyun watched him leave before smiling, seemingly satisfied with the punishment as he continued to the office. Hyungwon watched his friend go before jogging to catch up with his boss.

Today was gonna be a long day.

#fie writes #kwritersworldnet #Den of Monstas #D.o.M verse #monsta x fic #mx smut fic #mx smut #lee hoseok #yoo kihyun #lee minhyuk #chae hyungwon #lee jooheon #im changkyun #son hyunwoo #fanfiction #Monsta X

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mydisenchantedeulogy · 4 years

Text

Second Chance (Chapter Two) Be Still (Craig Tucker)

A/n: I may write a version of Second Chance for Kenny too. Depends on how this story goes. Tags are available; let me know if anyone wants to be on it.

Sunday before noon – before the weather got worse – Eden packed her suit case and left the apartment. Her beat up Taurus – nicknamed the Turd – was near a complete breakdown; not suited for long distance travels, but because she was only going 2 hours down the road, Eden thought the car would make it without a problem.

She was mistaken.

Outside South Park her car died. The rolling turd had a history of bad luck, most of which Eden was able to repair or replace. The newest issue was with the engine; it overheated nearly all the time. She had plans to take it in, but laziness on her part always seemed to prolong it. Hauling with her a bottle of water, she marched out into the cold and poured the liquid into the coolant tank – it would do until she found an auto shop in town.

Sending her cousin, a quick message she jumped back into the car, turned the heat up, and went on her way. The gauge on the dash stayed dangerously in the red, but she managed to find the shop and pulled in with a squeal. It was after 3, but no one was around; the parking lot was empty, apart from a vintage tow truck near the garage.

Eden tried the front door, but the store was locked up. She thought that maybe it was closed – the sign in the door said so – but hearing the faint sound of music drifting from the garage, she figured that someone was nearby.

“Hello. Hi … sorry to bother you, but my car needs coolant and I’m not sure how far I’m going to get without it.” Eden peaked into the room, noticing a pair of legs sticking out from beneath the front of a hulking SUV.

She tried to get their attention by clearing her voice – even calling out to them again – but still, they didn’t hear her.

Eden leaned down and gently touched the person’s leg. She felt them lurch in surprise. Their head striking the undercarriage of the SUV rocked the vehicle hard; hard enough that it knocked the balance off the floor jack and sent the load plummeting down. She managed to roll the creeper out until they were safe, barely able to keep them from having their upper body trapped.

“Fuck, dude. That hasn’t happened in a while.”

She wasn’t sure what they meant, but she sure as hell recognized them; the vibrant orange pants were an obvious hint.

“Kenny McCormick? Is that really you?”

Of course, it was. He hadn’t changed too much since high school, though his blond locks were a bit more unkempt. His stunning blue eyes lit up as he stared at Eden; a half smirk lifted his lips.

“Yeah. And who might you be?”

Eden frowned; he didn’t seem to recognize her. She honestly didn’t think she had changed too much. Her hair was longer, but that was about it. She aimed her eyes at the floor and curled her hair around her finger in embarrassment.

“Sorry … I thought you’d recognize me. It’s Edith Westbrook; from high school.”

We dated for a little while, she opted not to say. He was a rebound; he knew, but didn’t seem to mind.

Kenny couldn’t believe it. Eden Westbrook? He sat up and took her into his arms. “You look great – hot even; not like you weren’t already. It’s good to see you again.”

“Yeah. It’s good to see you too.” She hugged back. Parting from Kenny, Eden looked him over – a motion that brought a smile to his face. “Look at you; a mechanic. And you look great.”

She honestly didn’t know what to say. Her hands came up to cover her warm face.

“Still easy to embarrass I see. You’re too cute,” Kenny joked.

Eden playfully smacked his arm. “Stop it, play boy. It’s really great to see you doing so well.”

“It’s my dad’s shop, but I get around.” He still couldn’t believe she was back. “The fuck are you doing back in South Park? I thought you left for good?”

She ran her tongue over her bottom lip. “I’m not back; I’m here on business actually. Wendy called me.”

“Right. The wedding? I nearly forgot. Took Stan long enough to ask her – though I’m sure it was forced.”

Eden agreed. Stan and Wendy had been on and off as a couple for a long time. It was about time they settled down.

“A risky thing to do, but I’m sure Stan knows that. I’m happy he’s found someone to spend his life with.”

Kenny smirked. “Or until she divorces him. Some of the guys and I made a bet – more cash in my pocket if I win.”

“I was right; you haven’t changed a bit.” Eden rolled her eyes in a playful manner. She took a breath and frowned. As much as she wanted to continue on with this reunion, she had somewhere else to be.

“Think I could buy some coolant from you? My engine keeps overheating, and I really need to meet Shelly at the coffeehouse in a few hours.”

“Store is closed today,” Kenny said with a sigh. He was actually working just to clear his mind. “I can take a look at it tomorrow before noon though. It sounds like a number of things, and honestly your engine won’t stop overheating if the problem isn’t fixed. Coolant alone won’t repair a broken radiator fan or a stuck thermostat.”

“How much will that cost? And how long will it take?”

Kenny laughed and stood up, extending his arms above his head. His back cracked in protest. “Can’t say for sure until I’ve looked at it, but don’t fret; I’ve got you, babe. Until then, I can give you a ride into town.”

“I’d appreciate it,” she replied.

The flirty blond dug a set of keys out of his pocket and tossed them to her. “That tow truck by the door is mine. You can start it up and get the heat going while I close up, if you want.”

“Be still my heart,” Eden joked. She gave him a wink and walked out towards her car to grab her suit case.

Once she had it, she jumped into the passenger seat of the tow truck and started up the engine, along with the heat. Her phone was silent; Shelly hadn’t replied to her earlier message. Eden decided to ignore it and waited for Kenny.

He appeared moments later wearing an orange parka – a different style than the one he wore as a teenager; this one had brown patches around the elbows and a high collar that fastened beneath his chin – and jumped into the seat next to her.

“Miss me,” he joked.

Eden snorted in laughter. “Every second.”

With a smile, Kenny drove the truck out of the lot and headed towards town. He took her passed City Hall and allowed her to a chance to look around.

Nothing had changed too much since High School. A few new buildings were scattered here and there – mostly apartments and new stores. Eden stared out the window in glee. Memories flooded her mind; some good and others not worth recalling. This town was a big part of her life, a fact she wasn’t sure she was proud of or not.

By the time Kenny parked the truck in the parking lot of the coffeehouse, she was staring at her hands in concern. Was it honestly a good idea to come back here? A gentle sigh from Kenny brought her back to reality. She turned and forced a smile.

“Thanks a bunch for helping me, Ken.”

He nodded. “No problem. I’ll see you at the rehearsal in a few days, so just leave your car to me.”

Leaning forward with hesitation, Eden gave him a kiss on the cheek. Her face warmed up; she owed him this much. She grabbed her luggage and waved to Kenny as she got out the truck, walking towards the door. The sound of his truck roaring to life made her pause with uncertainty, but she took a deep breath and went inside.

All she had to do was wait on Shelly to pick her up; no problem.

The place was mostly empty as Eden walked up to the counter – very few people were inside. She was surprised Mr. Tweek hadn’t sold the shop; it was pretty old. The coffee was good though; addictive even. She decided to buy a cup, ringing the bell near the register.

Moments later, she saw another familiar face. He appeared from inside the employees only door behind the counter. His wide blue eyes landed on her and unlike Kenny, he seemed to know who she was.

“Gah! Eden … you’re back.”

She bobbed her head. “Only for the wedding. It’s good to see you again, Tweek. Are you doing well?”

“I’m making it, I guess! And you?”

It was obvious that twitching had gotten a little better. He was able to keep himself from grounding his teeth or clutching his hands. Eden admired his progress. She didn’t speak to Tweek much in school, but she was around him quite often.

“I’m doing pretty good. Mind if I get a cappuccino? I’m actually waiting on Shelly to pick me up. Has she done been by here?”

“I … I don’t know,” he answered in uncertainty. “But I don’t mind if you want to stick around until she gets here! Nngh! I’ll bring your drink out to you in a little bit!”

Eden thanked him again, moving her luggage to the first set of booths next to the counter. She took out her phone and checked her messages; still no word from Shelly. Eden shot her another text and set her phone down on the table. What was taking her so long to respond?

Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes for a brief moment. With all that was going on, Eden didn’t realize how tired she was. Her time in South Park was set to be a hectic one; sleep wouldn’t come easy for her, not with the week Bridezilla had planned. She just wanted to get to the apartment and rest before the fitting tomorrow.

The chill air on her face suddenly urged her tired eyes open. She glanced towards the door and noticed a troupe of people come in; a familiar troupe of people. Eden snatched up her phone and buried her attention into it, listening as they spoke noisily to Tweek at the counter. Her heat pounded in her chest; fucking idiot. Did she not expect this?

Fortunately for Eden, the group of 4 didn’t seem to notice her. She thought she was in safe hands with Tweek, but once again she was mistaken. Her own name on his tongue brought tears to her eyes; a pen drop could be heard.

Moments later she was startled by someone dropping into the seat beside her, nearly on top of her. Eden squeaked as they embraced her closely – Bebe was an affectionate and very hands on friend.

“I am so happy you’re here – you have no idea,” she spoke.

Eden gently pried herself away, giving her a smile. “Wendy would never forgive me if I missed her big day.”

“No question,” Bebe agreed. “Now that you’re the new maid of honor; she’d probably kill you.”

Don’t remind me, Eden groaned. She narrowed her eyes in empathy. “I’m really sorry about that. You should have been the maid of honor, not me.”

“It’s no big. I was totally serious what I said; you’re the only girl brave enough to walk down the aisle with Cartman.”

“Only because of Stan,” Eden clarified. “I’d never be able to endure his behavior if it weren’t fo––

A sudden laugh interrupted her. Clyde took a seat, shuffling over so that Token could sit down.

“How is cousin Stan? Kenny and I have a wager going – I bet a year.”

Eden stifled a laugh. She’d heard. “He’s fine, I guess. Haven’t really spoken to him yet.”

She waved at Token and glanced at her phone again. Still no word from Shelly. And where was Tweek with her cappuccino? She really didn’t want to continue this reunion; not with Craig nearby. Eden tapped her finger against the counter. Where was he? Didn’t he want to see her again?

“So … any plans now that you’re back?”

Eden puckered a brow. Besides the wedding, she had none. She shook her head in disagreement. “Once this is over, I plan to return to Colorado Springs.”

“Really? I thought now that you were back in town, you’d make up with Craig. You know he––

Token gently elbowed his shoulder. “You can’t ask her that; it’s in bad taste.”

“Really, babe. Leave her alone.” Bebe leaned her weight against Eden’s arm. “Ignore him; he’s an idiot.”

He went to counter but instead swore under his breath as a carrier fell on the table with a loud thud. The contents in each cup luckily didn’t spill over, but the noise was enough to startle everyone at the booth.

“Fuck, man. Are you trying to scare us?”

Craig flipped him the bird and dropped into a seat he pulled up from the counter. His cold blue eyes fell on Eden for a moment – to gauge her reaction – but she was staring at her hands with concern on her face. He had to admit, long hair suited her.

“A carrier? I thought we were hanging out here for a while?” Token passed out the drinks as he waited for Craig to explain – Eden thanked him with a nervous smile.

“Decided not to,” Craig said simply.

His voice alone made her skin prickle. Was he upset that she was here? It wasn’t her fault; Shelly asked her to come here. Besides, it was her who should be mad, not him.

“What are your plans for today, Eden? If you’re free, you should totally hang with us,” Bebe suggested.

Eden quickly declined. “Sorry, but I don’t think it would be a good idea; not with the fitting early tomorrow. My car is parked at the shop Kenny and his dad owns, so I don’t currently have a ride home.”

“You met up with Kenny already? Where are you staying? Clyde and I can take you there.”

Close as she was to Eden, the fair-haired woman knew how curious Bebe was. The less she knew, the better.

“He brought me here. Shelly was meant to pick me up, but I haven’t been able to get a hold of her in a few hours,” she answered.

Bebe smiled. “Come stay with me tonight. We’re both getting fitted tomorrow.”

It wasn’t a bad idea. Eden tested her coffee and took a careful drink; she hummed in excitement.

“Are you sure? I’d hate to impose.”

Bebe shook her head. “It’s no problem. We can make some drinks and chat about all the little things in our lives.”

High school all over again. Eden agreed with a nod. She hadn’t been to a sleep over in a long time. “Sounds like fun.”

“Then let’s get moving,” Bebe said with a smile. She stood up and allowed Eden to do the same, more or less yanking her from the booth in excitement.

In a rush, she forgot her suit case.

#craig tucker #aged up #south park fanfiction #oc #kenny mccormick

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thepencilnerd · 6 years

Text

- 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐦 - 4

➳ Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4

➳ Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

➳ Summary: AU! After taking a gap year from college to pay for your tuition, you felt like your life was finally back on track- until you met him. What happens when life doesn’t go the way you intended it to? What happens when you find out that your anchor is just as broken as you are?

➳ Genre: AU! Fluff, angst, friends to lovers

➳ Word Count: 2k

➳ Warnings: Swearing, playful banter

♪ Game- Mating Ritual

a/n: Masterlist & links to other parts can be found @ my main URL

A crisp gust of wind swept across my face, making my hair blow into and prick my already dry eyes. Finals were over and winter break was just around the corner, but what normally would have been an already snowy day was instead a foggy and frigid one.

I was walking up the stairs to the rooftop and couldn’t contain the excitement that came whenever I went to admire the sky from up above. I never noticed how happy gloomy weather made me until I actually counted the days I spent up there during overcast days. As soon as I opened the door, I saw a person admiring the view with their hands resting on the ledge and posture slightly hunched.

“Oh,” I jolted slightly, surprised at Jaebum’s presence. “I didn’t think you’d be up here. I can just—I’ll go—”

The edges of his lips curled upward into a slight grin and his head shook in response. “No, it’s fine. It’s not like it’s I own the building.” He gestured with his hand for me to stand next to him, sliding over to make some room.

I responded with a tight-lipped smile, I distanced myself a foot away as I stood beside him, shifting uncomfortably as I tried to stay as far away as possible without making it seem too obvious. I noticed he was wearing white today; no wonder he looked less intimidating. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he spoke up. “How were your finals?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, a habit I picked up in my childhood years, and retorted plainly. “They were okay.” Refusing to make eye contact with him to see what he was doing, I assumed he simply nodded his head.

His head turned to face me, making me immediately glance at the near-dead rose bushes behind us. Glancing around at the planter boxes, I realized that most of the plants had already begun to wither away. Had it been that long since the last time I was up here?

“Do you think any of the professors curved your grade for you?” Jaebum asked, snapping you out your daze and clearly making a desperate effort to make do with any kind of conversation he could.

I just shook my head, reluctant to give him anything that would encourage any kind of small talk. “Nope.”

Jaebum bit his lip and sighed, noticing what my aim was. “I’m trying really hard to get on at least casual talking terms with you. Can you at least try to be on a ‘basic conversational’ level with me?” he said with a raised eyebrow.

My face tensed as my gaze narrowed at him. “I still don’t get why you’re trying so hard. I’m not anyone special and you’re wasting your time, so don’t make me feel bad by trying that hard.”

“When I asked you to give me a chance, I thought it implied that you’d be on a neutral standpoint, not consciously making an effort to discourage and dislike me.” His angular eyes bore into mine, making me see that he was genuinely hurt by my actions.

I exhaled forcefully, feeling a pang of guilt for being rude to him when he was just like any other normal person who tried to befriend me. However, unlike the others, he hadn’t gone about it by using annoying tactics-yet. Closing my eyes tightly and biting down on my lip, I forced out a small apology.

“I’m sorry. I’m not-” I struggled to find words for some reason, trying my hardest to avoid making eye contact with him. “I don’t-I don’t do the whole-”

“Friends thing?” he finished my sentence for me. My eyes abruptly snapped to look him in the eyes.

“Are you seriously a psychic or something?” I asked with squinted eyes. Jaebum laughed deeply.

He has a nice laugh.

Repressing the haphazard subconscious thought, I stood there and waited for his response.

“I told you,” he grinned. “We’re a lot similar than you think.”

“But I’m not a psychic...” I mumbled. Pressing my lips together in a thin line, I scoffed. “Fine. Okay. Prove it.”

He raised his eyebrow again but this time, it was accompanied by a hint of a smirk. “What’s your favorite type of weather?” Leaning in closer to me, I could practically feel his body heat radiating off of him in waves as my cheeks started to heat up from the distance between us.

“Rain,” we replied in unison, without a second of a delay. I gawked at him before immediately crinkling my face into a frown. “That was just good timing.” I crossed my arms and faced away from him, hell-bent on making sure that he couldn’t read any of my microexpressions or pre-cursors to words.

“I’m not reading your lips if that’s what you’re wondering.” He chuckled, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smug grin as he sat down on the edge of the planter box. “How about you come up with questions and then I answer first so I can prove I’m not cheating?”

Half scoffing, I agreed and sat down next to him. Two could play at this game. “Ketchup or mustard?” I started off with a painfully dumb and stupid question to throw him off. There was no way he would say what I was thinking.

“I’m more of a barbeque sauce person,” he responded confidently. “And don’t tell me that doesn’t count because I know damn well you hate ketchup and mustard.”

“Okay, hold it there Mr. Wise Guy,” I halted, throwing my hand up in defense at his accusation. “I do not hate ketchup and mustard, I just don’t particularly like them. And how did you know about the barbeque sauce?”

“We had a class picnic in freshman year and while everyone else was eating lunch in the quad, you grabbed your food to go sit by yourself and eat in the field.” His ability to recall memories in such detail was both terrifying and astounding.

Chuckling at my tilted head and agape expression, he continued. “I was eating by myself underneath the bleachers and then I saw you coming to sit a few feet across and right above me. Your burger had ketchup and mustard on it so you took off the bun and actually scraped all of it away before you ate it. Then you tore open a packet of barbeque sauce and drowned your fries in it.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say. “When—how did—do you just stalk and observe me in your spare time? Is that your hobby? How do you remember that of all things? And from freshman year?” Questions suddenly poured out of me like a tornado of word vomit.

“I told you,” he reminded me again. “You’ve always been the only one who’s constantly intrigued me.”

“Isn’t it a little unfair that you know a lot more about me than I know about you?” I questioned, tip-toeing around the subject of actually getting to know each other.

“I never said you couldn’t ask me things about myself.” He pointed it out as if it weren’t so blatantly obvious.

Trying to come up with a half-ass and somewhat decent question, I settled on one. “Why do you like the rain?”

He glanced up towards the sky. Closing his eyes for a moment before answering, he sighed softly. “I like the way it makes me feel.”

Assuming that he would explain further, I waited patiently for him to continue.

“I like how cloudy it gets, but not the dark kind of cloudy-the kind where you can still see through the grey and it’s still bright out is the best. The cold air that swirls around right before it rains; the smell of petrichor once the water settles into the cement and dirt; even the sound of the rain when it hits your umbrella or trees. The whole atmosphere changes when it rains.”

I sat quietly and listened to him, captivated entirely by his words and gaze.

“I like cold weather too, not just rain,” he quickly added.

“Is that why you were on the field that night?” I pondered.

He smiled and nodded. Thinking over that night on the field, I thought about how much time had already passed since the first day of school.

“I like running in the rain too,” he resumed. “When it rains really hard on campus, I leave my umbrella in my room on purpose so I can run to class in my jacket. Something about dashing against the cold air and rain hitting your face is just—”

“Invigorating,” the word rolling off of my tongue like second nature. This time, it was my turn to finish his sentence.

“I know you like it too,” he grinned, tipping his head ever so slightly as if to study my facial expression. “I saw you walking out of the coffee shop that day before bio.”

I widened my eyes at his comment. “You saw that?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, a small laugh nearly slipping out in the process. His gaze deepened before he elaborated even more. “I was at the table the farthest from the door when I saw you through the window. Almost as soon as I saw you, you sprinted headfirst into the rain and looked—” he wavered, taking a small pause to laugh and replay the moment in his head. “Happy. Really happy.”

Suddenly, I couldn’t tell whether I was beaming or on the verge of a nervous breakdown. “Out of all of the people that I’ve dealt with in this hell of a school,” I said, voice faltering slightly. “I think you’re the most bearable one I’ve met so far.”

His face broke into a full-blown smile. With flawless teeth and crow’s feet that began to form at the edges of his eyes, it was one that made my heart almost double out of my chest. I quickly adjusted my sitting position to hide the sudden twinge discomfort I felt.

What the hell was wrong with me today?

Letting out a small huff, I realized that we had unintentionally moved closer together so that we were now seated a mere two inches apart.

Don’t move, I thought to myself. If you move, it'll show him that you’re affected by him. Don’t move.

Jaebum must have sensed my discomfort, ducking his head down to analyze my expression. “Do I make you uncomfortable, Y/N?”

I contemplated answering with a proper response or rebutting with a question, so I decided to go with the latter. “Honest answer or the one that’ll make you feel better?”

“Honest answer,” he replied, once again without a single ounce of hesitation.

Why did he have to be so ballsy?

“You’re intimidating. You make me go into a full-blown panic mode.” Scanning his face before I continued, I saw a flash of worry cross his features. “You scare the shit out of me because you seem to understand me better than anyone I’ve known in my entire life, and we don’t even know each other yet.” My heart was beating frantically now.

Jaebum blinked a few times before registering my genuine confession. “Yet?”

Shaking my head and giggling, I gently patted him on the shoulder. “You have about five and a half months left, champ. Make do with what you can.” He smiled again and stood up at the same time I did.

“I’m still up for the challenge,” he asserted with determination in his voice. “How about we celebrate with some hot chocolate? My treat.”

Unable to hold my laughter back, I let out a fit of stifled chuckles and agreed with slight skepticism. It was just two classmates going together to get hot chocolate. No big deal. “How’d you know I like hot chocolate?”

“Everyone loves hot chocolate,” he stated matter-of-factly. “It doesn’t take a psychic to know that.” Mocking me for my remark earlier and picking my bag up, he swung it over his shoulder and jogged down the stairs without me.

“You coming or not?” he shouted from a flight of stairs below, sticking his tongue out and taunting me to hurry up.

Just two classmates going together to get hot chocolate. No big deal. It didn’t mean anything.

Right?

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opalknightfire · 5 years

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INFJ Defense... YOU are NOT INFJ!! (or maybe you really are)

So, for today I wanted to broach a subject that has kind of been starting to nag at me. The subject is the MBTI personality typing, specifically for INFJ. But before I get to the real meat of the issue, I shall give a breakdown of how this issue has arisen for me. Maybe others will be able to relate, if at least at the core of the issue, not the specific path to get there. Or just skip down to the ******* to get right to the point.

I have been spending the last several months attempting to do some deep-down soul searching. It came as maybe a Mid-Life Enlightenment moment. And by Mid-Life Enlightenment I mean that I have hit mid-life, but I don’t feel like I hit a crisis, I feel like I hit a moment when I needed more clarity, more direction for where my life was going, a turning point if you will, but a turning point that required I dig deeper into my core and discover what I really needed to start focusing on.

I had finished a chapter of my life, so to speak; accomplished the small-picture goal that had been driving my younger life. And as I stood, realizing my main goal had been achieved, I needed to start looking for what my next goal was going to be. But I also knew that it had to be more. Yes, I could spend my entire life setting small, easy-ish to achieve goals and come out the other side content with the knowledge that I had done it. I had lived. I had completed a life on this wide world. But somehow I felt that that wasn’t all I that I should do.

And so I started down the trail of self discovery: What were my flaws? What did I need to improve? How could I make myself a better person? What about me could others see that maybe I could not? How could I actually affect the world for better? All these questions bombarded me over and over as I searched different topics, issues, and sources of information.

Finally I fell onto the MBTI personality type descriptions. Maybe if I could get my type figured out, I would know where to start. Maybe I could see how my mind truly worked, could figure out it’s weaknesses, could pinpoint any strengths and use those to probe deeper into some meaning that I could direct my life towards. And so I ransacked Youtube, free MBTI test sites, and looked up sites that people had dedicated to understanding the MBTI and Jungian/Neojungian personality typology. I started with broad generalizations to lead me closer to the type I might be and slowly learned more and more about how the different types functioned and not just the superficial stereotypes that the types were labelled as. I took different tests, but spaced them out between months so that I could get a fresh look each time. And my answers varied between 3 or so different types. And many times I thought, “Hmmm, that’s probably right, but how does one know for sure?” And so the searching and testing would continue on.

It wasn’t until I came across the cognitive function flow and breakdowns that I truly hit home to how my mind must work. (as an aside I found the personality test that Erik Thor has put up on his site erikthor.com was one of the ones that better spelled out the cognitive functions in the results, so if you are curious about yourself, that might be a good place to start) I thought back to many of the distinct thoughts that I had had growing up, as a teen, in college, and my life since and saw the patterns that kept reappearing. The functions I relied on over and over became apparent, as well as those that I shied away from which lead to some of my bigger fears or hurdles throughout the years. And the type that fit my mind was INFJ.

*******************

So the point of my rather long intro is to show that I was doing my homework, I was trying to be thorough as well as objective. I didn’t start with an assumed answer and try to prove it. I sifted the info at hand over and over until all the pieces started to fall into place. And once they did, the picture that emerged became clearer and clearer and my mind suddenly made a whole lot more sense to me. It was like stepping back from a mosaic that one has been staring at too closely for too long. All the colors haphazardly scattered about slowly form a picture as you can see where different clusters of similar colors blend together to form shapes and lines. And I felt I had finally gained some clarity as to who I am.

Now, I may still have mistyped myself (I’m not perfect by anyone’s definition) but I feel fairly confident that how I now perceive my own mind and it’s intricate workings falls very well into the many (sometimes contradictory) descriptions associated with the INFJ personality.

However, the more I delved into the INFJ personality, the more I found that other people (specifically those that identified as INFJ) somehow felt the need to warn other people that if they come up with INFJ as their personality type, they are probably wrong and have mistyped themselves. Hmmm . . . why is this the case for INFJ and not the other types?

Well first off, many, many, many, many, many, many (you get the picture) INFJ descriptions start by stating that INFJ is the rarest type!!! Oh my! Really?! Can it be!! (shock and awe!)

Has personality typing somehow entered a reverse popularity contest?

Personality is just who people are: in their heads and how they react to the world. People don’t become a personality or acquire a personality, they have a personality. Maybe statistics can be gathered to get a basic breakdown of what types of personalities there are out there, but statistic gathering can be a rather imperfect measurement to begin with. Especially when the statistics are based off of self-analyzed test answers. People don’t always accurately assess themselves, especially when it comes to cognitive abilities. And maybe INFJ is the rarest type, but it isn’t that far off from some of the other rarer types, so that’s a bit of a misleading statement from the start. I mean is 1% really that far from 2% or 2.5%?

Also, maybe the statistics are just off. Maybe, of the people who took the test in places where the statistics were gathered, more of the INFJ types mistyped themselves as something else than other types did, lowering the actual percentage of people who really are INFJ. If mistyping is so prevalent, than who is to say that the statistcs don’t have just as many mistyped people as the people who are typing themselves where statistics are not being gathered?

And, if INFJ’s are really the rarest type, why broadcast that as some sort of lure for people who have the proclivity to want to feel special? By stating “Are you an INFJ, the rarest type?” you are just inviting people to want to see if they are, indeed, as rare as they may want to feel. Only for you to dash them down by saying, “NO, you are not rare, you are just wrong!” I mean, come on, that just seems mean . . and maybe spiteful.

It seems more likely that the INFJ’s who are questioning other people’s being INFJ’s are the ones who somehow feel threatened by not being special enough. After all, the goal of personality typing is to get a better picture of oneself for understanding, improvement, or possibly just for fun. People probably aren’t out to type themselves based off of what sounds good to them. At least I don’t assume most people are. And for those people who are, well, they probably aren’t taking the whole personality typing seriously enough for it to really matter. But for those people who are truly trying to learn about themselves through personality typing, it’s a bit arrogant to simply decry them as misinformed because you believe you know better based off of some percentage statistic. After all, people who have introverted intuition as their main function probably aren’t that apparent to other people what it is their mind is doing inside their heads. How does a person see someone else and just assume that the other person’s cognitive functions must be working differently than what that specific person feels about themselves?

Now, I’m not saying that mistyping doesn’t happen a lot. It does. It did for me because I did not always come up as INFJ when I was taking different tests. And the few times INFJ did come up for me, before I had gathered a lot of data, I assumed was wrong because the first statement I came across was, “This is the rarest type!!!” While I know I’m unique (honestly, everyone is) I’m not necessarily rare or special. And I’m OK with that. So I figured I must have gotten it wrong and moved on. But once I understood the processing that goes on in the mind of INFJ personality types, well then I started to realize that I was, in fact, probably INFJ after all.

Now, I’m running out of time here, but there is another point I want to make on this subject, but I’ll have to try and make it quickly.

I was talking about personality types with my brother recently, and we were both discussing how in businesses and in society the diversity of personalities plays an important role. In any structure different tasks are accomplished by different types of people. A well running company or business relies on having a bunch of different personality types doing things that their personality does well and other types are not so good at. The same goes for the social structure of communities and even politics and government. You need people of different abilities and thought processes to keep the various machines of humanity working well. So, what if personality types become more or less prevalent based off of the current needs of society. Just as nature can compensate for overpopulation or underpopulation in animals by changing genders or reabsorbing pregnancies, so too might the stresses of society make some personality types more or less likely to show up in a given population. So maybe INFJ’s used to be rarer, but the needs of society has made the number of people born with that personality type rise?

It’s just something to consider when stating that INFJ’s are so very rare so all those people who think they might be INFJ must be wrong. . .

#INFJ #mbti types #mbti personality types #infj personality #infj problems #infj philosophy #midlifecrisis

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pricryo · 5 years

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tw: abuse shit, manipulation shit, transphobia ment, death ment, christianity ment, probably more. hi i’m tim wright and today i remembered one of my abusers so naturally, while instilled with fiery rage, i thought i should make a post abt it here for reference as to why i have “don’t follow if you kin ticci-toby (creepypasta) or yato (noragami)” as one of my don’t follow criteria. there will probably be another post on this in the future because there’s really a lot to unravel about her abuse and how it’s affected myself and my friends. this is just one of the main and most notable incidents, roughly around the time our friendship truly started its decline.

putting this shit under a cut so it doesn’t clutter things up on anyone’s dash

her name is grace. i initially met her in the fourth grade (when i was around nine or ten), but i wasn’t really close friends with her until late middle school to early high school. she was always sort of uncomfortable to be around, but she was one of the few people who would talk to me, so i considered her a friend. when i was a freshman in high school, i had just been introduced to the otherkin and fictionkin communities by a friend (named cas) at the time, along with grace and another friend (her name was destiny).

i kinfirmed being wolfkin first and foremost (i know, i know, how generic) after a lot of reflection and questioning on the subject, and cas, who was also wolfkin, suggested we make a wolfkin pack (a.k.a, mistake number one) under the presumption that all four of us were wolfkin. (hint: only half of us were)

grace agreed, claiming she was also wolfkin, and a pack was formed. now, this wasn’t the healthiest pack, realistically. we were young and honestly? a little dumb. we had this big ~pack mentality~ that was horrid and cringy to look back on, and i’m very ashamed of myself. we were overly protective of each other, saw cas as our boss, and overall were just... toxic in mindset, if i remember correctly. unfortunately, this made us super easy to manipulate.

it started in either january or february (i can’t remember which anymore), when grace told us that her long-time boyfriend (joe) had broken up with her during our high school’s winter formal dance. supposedly, it was during their first slow dance, to be specific. she claimed that he’d been abusive to her before, including hitting her, insulting her, etc., and destiny even backed this claim up by saying she’d seen it. (note: joe was openly known to be autistic in our school, keep this in mind.) we, of course, didn’t take this well. after confronting joe on the matter, he seemed confused and had genuinely no idea what was happening, even saying he hadn’t broken up with her at all.

we further confront him (this time on deviantArt) and he continues to say he has no idea, and he’s very confused over who we are. we... honestly treated him like trash. not because he was autistic, but because he was supposedly abusive. it was terrible. and while we’re doing this, grace is just feeding us more and more lies about the guy. she went as far as to make fake texts between himself and her, where he was saying shit like how we were demons, and that we needed to go to church and we needed jesus, calling grace fat and ugly, saying that he’d won her and she was just his trophy, and even being openly transphobic regarding leelah alcorn’s death, among other things. we would be like “give us his number/account, let us talk to him” and she’d always tell us “oh he deleted it right after” or some similar shit. that was red flag number one, but i trusted her (mistake number two) because she was my friend.

by this time, we're literally enraged. we told the dean of our school about it and everything. we were shit talking joe all over deviantArt and threatening him (which was so immature, and looking back on it, i hate how i handled that situation at 14) and everything. i deadass made what was supposed to be his in minecraft just to pour lava over it and burn it down. terrible shit. but the bottom line: we were very angry.

around this time, i start noticing that the way he types on deviantArt and the way he types in the “texts” don’t match up. it’s super suspicious. red flag number two. he types perfectly on deviantArt, but types exactly how grace types in the texts. i bring it up subtly and i’m all like “haha that’s pretty weird, why does he do that?” grace agrees that it’s weird and then starts saying that she recreated some of them because they were deleted too fast. the typing difference happened on all of them. again, that’s super suspicious, but i really trusted her as my friend.

things escalated. i can’t really remember most of it, but here’s some details i do remember:

there’s a fake instagram made (something along the lines of ‘weirdguy101′ or some similar shit) where art that cas and destiny had made was uploaded, supposedly owned by joe, who was claiming to have drawn it himself. none of my art was stolen. grace was the only person to have taken pictures of that art. red flag number three.

an “undercover” deviantArt account made by grace where she pretended to be a different person to interact with joe as if she was on our side.

a lot of skype calls on the subject - during one, grace calls joe on her home phone and cas and destiny make weird noises in an effort to freak him out - which was succesful.

we make both a deviantArt group and instagram to combat the fake instagram and make vague, threatening posts to him (which i’m very certain is deleted by this point).

the dean told us he spoke with joe, and that joe had zero idea what was happening at all.

we were going to go to the principal over the matter because we thought the dean didn’t take us seriously. i was absent that day because i was sick if i remember correctly, and cas and destiny didn’t go talk to the her because grace didn’t show up, either. red flag number four.

grace would intentionally rile us up if we weren’t having a conversation specifically about the conflict. like, this happened for weeks, and when we tried to have other, normal conversations, she’d butt in baout how much she hated joe and about how we should all burn down his house and shit. i’m fairly certain that some of the fake texts were just to draw our attention back on that topic. red flag number five.

and honestly? a hell of a lot more that i don’t really remember.

cas mentions that he thinks things are getting a little fishy after a while, and i tell him about what i’ve been thinking. we end up calling her on skype and he calls her out because he’s 100% certain that she had been playing us. she’s dead silent for most of the time and doesn’t even defend herself or say he’s wrong. he hangs up on her and i’m there listening to her crying alone (and it’s such an ugly noise, mind you) and i’m filled with disgust and anger and hurt. i’m there for two to three minutes listening before i hang up, too.

even after that, we’re all like, “we forgive you. just don’t do this shit again,” because we still saw her as a friend despite her 100% being trash to us, and we were still willing to move past that. and grace has the audacity to ask if we’ll go to the dean with her in the morning and explain the situation. like.... she manipulates us into harassing and threatening a kid, pretends to be him and insults us + is transphobic as all hell, literally steals art from cas and destiny under the guise that it’s him, plays us like a game of chess for her own sick amusement.... and then expects us to help her explain to the dean that she was lying the entire time and nothing was wrong. ofc, we said no. things simmer down.

for like a day or two.

and then we’re in a group chat with a classmate named britney who says we need to stop bullying her friend. get this - grace has been showing off the screenshots of what we’ve said to her (which was in no way bullying, btw) and claiming we were bullying her. greaaaattt. grace didn’t bother to tell her the full story (a common theme with her) and now britney has taken it upon herself ot be a good samaritan. she yells at us, removes cas from the chat after one of his alters front, i add him back, and britney refuses to tell us who it was. (spoiler alert: we already know). i agree that we’ll stop “bullying” grace so she’ll leave us alone and the conversation is done.

so naturally we’re all like, “what the fuck dude, it was over? and we didn’t do anything to you? you were just bad to us?” and ofc this sets her off to continually tell us ”it’s in the past, i made mistakes, you should forgive me” even though all the shit she did was entirely intentional. initially i don’t want the reason why she did it, but i get progressively more frustrated and then start demanding to know why. she legitimately didn’t say anything other than “...” on the subject. considering how i was young and had a short fuse, i kinda go off on her abt it. because that’s such a fucking dick move. and she says “well idk what to say except sorry” as if she isn’t aware she can tell us why she did it.

i end up having a breakdown because i realize that i’m a total fucking monster who harrassed a kid and was manipulated into doing s and i don’t even get to know why. cas removes her from the group and we’re left to pick up the pieces.

i end up giving a handwritten note containing a formal apology to destiny and she agreed to give it to joe for me. all was well for a while with grace out of my life.

unfortunately, this was not the last incident i had with grace. i’ll post more on it some other time but like... dm me for her tumblr if you want to block her or some shit. she’s still out there and active on tumblr as far as i know.

bonus: a screenshot where i totally should’ve realized she was playing us, ft. me talking to joe

#tim.txt #dont reblog ////#that was back when i typed properly lmao #abuse tw ///#abuse ment ///#manipulation tw ///#manipulation ///#transphobia ment ///#transphobia tw ///#christianity ment ///#christianity ///#notes to talk about for next time include #her faking being otherkin and fictionkin #while she was anti-kin #and her faking she was trans #and her literally adopting everyone's identities #not to mention her dating a thirteen year old when she was nearly eighteen #and cheating on them with multiple other people #and her abusing joe #and her literally bringing my boyfriend's ptsd out of remission! :^)#gracie sweetie if you're reading this? i hope you choke #oh and a little more on this situation can be talked abt!#this is almost a tl;dr version honestly #ask if you want my venting blog that's specifically anti-grace!#it's co-owned with john!!#abuse discussion #grace is an abusive fuck #abt in tags #ig?#long post ///

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boyprincessmanic · 5 years

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December 31st marked my one-year anniversary taking testosterone for my gender transition. This has been a long time in the making so I thought I’d post some pictures. I’ll put a cut so my long-ass post isn’t filling up your dash lol

This picture was taken in June 2011, before I started questioning my gender at all. I used to love taking selfies. I got a digital camera for my birthday when I was like 14 and I became an Expert at taking selfies. My confidence wasn’t super high, but it wasn’t super low either. I just thought taking pictures was fun!

A few months later, December 2011. This was probably right before I started questioning my gender, but I was very heavily in denial. This period of my life was probably the deepest state of denial I’ve ever experienced. I let my hair grow long again and insisted that I was a girl, no matter how miserable I felt. It was something I had no control over (as I thought), so I might as well accept it. I stopped taking selfies for a long time.

Of course, I did eventually start seriously questioning myself, mostly with the help of my friend Zack. I thought, maybe I’m not a girl. Maybe I do have some sort of control over this. I got my hair cut short and started styling it, and I felt amazing. It was the best I’d felt about myself in probably a year, or more. This picture was taken in September 2012, and this was the start of me taking selfies again. The first time someone saw me as a boy I was ecstatic. At the time, I didn’t feel 100% male or 100% female, so I began to think I was maybe non-binary (but I said genderqueer at the time).

December 2012. I was the Maid of Honor at my friend’s wedding, and as the title suggests I was Honored to be a part of her ceremony. However, this was a gigantic turning point in my life. I distinctly remember the thought “I’m not a woman” repeating in my head as I prepared for this event. I was so afraid of actually being transgender that even though some part of me knew for sure I wasn’t a girl, I didn’t want to be a man either. I was caught in the middle, and it was very confusing. Six months later I came to the realization that I am meant to be a man, so that’s what I did.

By June-August of 2013 I was presenting as male. I was still too scared to tell my parents exactly how I was feeling, but they knew I was unhappy living as a girl and was at the very least questioning my gender identity. I wouldn’t come out seriously to my parents until April 2014, when my mom took it very well and my dad remained mostly quiet on the matter. In December 2015 I started seeing a gender therapist, and I made it my goal to be on T by June 2016. In March 2016 I told my dad that I’ve been seeing a gender therapist and was going to ask for hormones. His response was Less Than Ideal™ and I plummeted into the worst year of my life.

This is hard for me to talk about because it’s hard to admit, and it’s scary to admit. It’s scary to admit my weakness, and I have a hard time sharing my thoughts and feelings. In 2016 I thought I was going to kill myself. I decided I would rather die than hurt my dad, but not transitioning was killing me just as bad. Every single day I went to work, I sat in my car and cried before forcing myself to go into the office. I had breakdowns at work almost daily, having to leave the office to cry. I researched how to buy a gun. I regularly stood on the sidewalk in preparation to jump in front of a vehicle. I tried to climb the ladder onto the roof of my office, but my phobia for heights is what stopped me. I remember the exact moment I realized I didn’t just want to die, I wanted to kill myself, and it was the most scared I’ve ever felt in my life.

Obviously, I didn’t kill myself. I held on mostly because people had expectations of me. Or because I didn’t want to hurt my parents, or my partner. I didn’t want to leave them alone, so I stayed for them. Or maybe I stayed for me. I’m not entirely sure. The more time I stuck around, the more I realized that my transition should be for me, and not for anyone else. I decided to transition, regardless of the consequences. I would rather be alone, living as myself and loving myself, than living a lie and surrounded by people who love a fake version of me.

On December 31st 2017 I took my first shot of testosterone. It was thrilling. I knew this was the moment my life was going to begin. I didn’t tell my dad right away that I was going to be taking hormones, but I knew he would figure it out eventually. He’s still not where I would like for him to be in his acceptance of me being trans, but he’s getting there. Right now it’s okay. For how much longer, I’m not sure. But I’ll get there when I get there.

These pictures were taken today. I almost never get misgendered by strangers anymore. My coworkers all call me by my real name. I’m on my way to getting top surgery this year, and maybe legally changing my name. I feel better about myself every single day. I still have bad days, but overall my self-love is higher than I can recall it ever being. I’m glad I didn’t die in 2016. I would never have been able to see myself with a beard (even if it is a whispy one haha).

Thanks for reading, and thank you for hanging around with me on my journey. I know some of you have been around for quite some time. I love you very much.

Here’s hoping that 2019 is a good year for us all. ❤

#personal #trans #this ended up being quite a bit longer than i had intended #but wHATEVER i have a lot of FEELINGS #content warning I do talk about suicidal thoughts

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askmsmowz · 6 years

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Let’s Hope This Mask Can Hide Me

( This is an archived RP between me and @thekoopacosmetologist. This plot takes place in between “Haircut Gone Wrong” and “Babysitting Breakdown. Writer changes between every cut. Cheers!)

Ms. Mowz dashed into room, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible. A quick glance at her phone revealed she was over 30 minutes late. (In her defense, she DID have to work today, and getting on this long, flowing gown took much longer than she expected. ) She took a quick glance around before deciding her first stop really ought to be the refreshment table. After all, she’d been running since she put this dress on, and that had to have been an hour ago by now. Expertly, she weaved her way in between guests, and poured herself a cup. She allowed herself a minute to just relax and enjoy this drink before she opened her eyes.

Immediately, she wished she hadn’t.

Almost directly in front of her, she spotted Shelly. Luckily, she was in another conversation, so there was no way she could’ve spotted her. Still, that was enough to make Ms. Mowz’s heart pound. It’d only been a few days since the, ah, incident at her salon. And she was still completely and utterly embarrassed about it. She quickly decided that it’d be best for her to wait for Shelly to notice her, if she ever did, and pretend like she simply hadn’t seen her there. It was a big enough place, that was completely reasonable.

Instead, she quickly turned and walked towards the table by the entrance. It looked like something was going on there, and it couldn’t hurt to check.

Ms. Mowz was able to avoid being noticed for a while, but her luck wouldn’t last forever. About an hour later, after enjoying another waltz, Shelly spotted someone in an elegant dress that she immediately recognized.

After all, mask or no, there was no way she wouldn’t recognize that cute pink bob that she herself created.

“… Ms. Mowz?” Shelly called out, walking over to the squeek, “Oh, it’s good to see you again! I didn’t know you’d be here!”

I just hope she just doesn’t panic after last time… she thought to herself.

Ms. Mowz made a noticeable jump when she heard Shelly say her name. She turned to see that the Koopa was, in fact, walking straight towards her. Meaning, she lost her chance to sneak away. Oh, boy….. She did her best to regain her composure, and even managed to squeeze out a smile.

“Oh, Shelly hi! Yeah, I decided to come last minute, ha ha… How have you been?”

At least she didn’t sound suspicious. And her mask did a good job hiding the fact she was struggling to make eye contact… She desperately hoped she’d spot someone she knew so that she could cut this conversation short, but of course, she couldn’t find anyone.

Well, guess she was staying for a while.

Even with her masquerade costume concealing much, Shelly could pick up on the signs of discomfort - Mowz had worn a mask for a good amount of the time Shelly knew her, after all. Still, at least she didn’t panic and bolt immediately… Always a good first step. She just had to choose her next words carefully.

“I’ve been good! I just wanted to make sure you’re still okay after… you know… what happened the other day.”

… Or not.

“… I mean… Have you been enjoying the party?”

Ms. Mowz could feel her heart slowly drop into her stomach.

“Oh, great, I really have made things awkward between us! Great going….” She berated to herself. She’d confessed having feelings to, well, lots of people that were unrequited, but that was the first time she’d ever had such a….scene. Was there anyway she could recover from that? Just judging by how Shelly was acting, no seemed to be the answer.

It took her a moment to realize that she still hadn’t actually answered Shelly’s question, so she finally said something.

“Oh, yeah, uh, the party’s fine! I just bought some raffle tickets and had a nice chat with the girl running the booth! And, yeah, um, everything’s fine! I’m doing just fine!”

The whole she spoke, she was nervously wringing her hands together. At least her attire mostly hid the beads of nervous sweat she felt all over.

Shelly nodded and did her best to look interested, but she could pick up on the small signs of Mowz’s discomfort… or at least, she thought they were signs. Maybe she was just over-thinking it? Goodness, who knew relationships could be this complicated?

… Or… well… not that kind of relationship. Maybe. Oh Miyamoto, this was such a mess…

“Well, good to hear you’ve been fine and you’re enjoying yourself! I had a chat with the raffle girl as well… Isabelle was her name, right? She seems like a good kid. She clearly has good taste if she enjoyed chatting with both of us!”

Shelly attempted to laugh at her own joke, but even that came out unconvincing. Awkward…

Ms. Mowz seriously could not think of anything else to say but a mere “Yeah”, and even that trailed off about halfway through. For a minute, it was all she could do to just look at her, not even with eye contact! There was music playing, and people talking, but the silence between the two of them seemed to completely mask any and all sound.

She started biting her lip. Oh, grambi, she couldn’t take much more of this. Someone had to say something, and, well…. It looked like it was going to be her.

“Shelly….”

Her voice was barely louder than a whisper, but she was certain the koopa could hear her.

“Shelly, I-I’m sorry… I… I knew telling you would make things…. weirdbetween us, but I…. I did anyways, and I’m…. I’m sorry. L-look, I don’t…. I don’t want to ruin your night, so, um….. Y-You can just forget you even saw me here, okay? I-I won’t mind! Really….”

Even though her eyes were hidden, it was completely obvious she was crying by her tone and body movements.

Needless to say, Shelly picked up on everything Mowz was saying. Her forced smile quickly morphed into a look of pained sympathy.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, I just… Nothing you could do would ruin my night, but I don’t want to ruin yours, either.”

She inhaled sharply, possibly trying to hide her own confused emotions.

“I… We should wait until that hang-out we have planned to talk more. I don’t… I shouldn’t try to rush you or make awkward attempts to make sure you’re okay before then. I’m sorry.”

Ms. Mowz sadly shook her head, tears finally revealing themselves.

“"We don’t….have to do that, if you don’t want to… I mean, you probably think I’m….you know….Look, I don’t….want you to do anything you don’t….want to….I’ll…” She sobbed, trying to stop her tears. When she had no success, she figured it’d be best if she just walked away. “I’ll be fine, really, I’m just-” She went to take a step backwards, and was quickly reminded of something.

Her dress was longer in the back,and her tail was tucked inside of it.

Of course, she stepped right on her tail. Of course when she stumbled, trying to find steady ground, she just stepped right back on her dress, and started falling forward. She couldn’t catch herself. Her mask slid right off her face, and she braced herself for impact with the floor-

Running entirely on reflex, Shelly let out a surprised gasp and rushed forward to catch Ms. Mowz. The good news was that she succeeded, preventing the squeek from faceplanting onto the floor.

The bad news? She was now instead being fully embraced by Shelly, her head resting on the koopa’s shoulder.

And the band had just started up the next song.

“… … !!!”

At least they were only on the very edge of the dance floor, so quickly shuffling off undetected was still possible for the two of them… if they wanted to.

… Though given the huge rush of emotions Shelly was experiencing right now, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to.

Ms. Mowz was so embarrassed by what was going on, she just froze in place for a few seconds. She knew she couldn’t say like this forever (even if it felt…really nice), so she pulled away from Shelly’s shoulder, and slid her mask back on. Shelly still had her arms wrapped around her, like she also had no idea how to react. Ms. Mowz thought about nudging her out of the way, but….

She didn’t want to.

Instead, she sheepishly held out her hand, and asked a painfully simple question.

“M-may I have this dance?”

While her mask and makeup did an excellent job covering up how hard she was blushing right now, they did nothing to conceal her small, sheepish grin as Shelly looked in Mowz’s eyes (not that they could look much elsewhere, given how close they now were).

“I-I… Don’t see why not?…”

Ms. Mowz couldn’t help but notice the smile on Shelly’s face, and that eased her a bit. She still wasn’t sure if asking was the right thing, but…

The two quickly adjusted themselves into a proper waltz stance (er, well, as close as they could get, at least. Ms. Mowz was a bit too short for it too be photo accurate, but she tried. )

After only a brief second of awkward stumbling, they gracefully moved around the dance floor, ( nearly ) perfectly synchronized with each other and the song. It was almost magically, really. The song felt a touch… Too long, but Ms. Mowz managed to get through it without embarrassing herself- That is, until for whatever reason, she completely forgot all about the context of the situation and totally dipped Shelly in the cheesiest way possible at the end of the song.

In that moment, her face was so red, it was impossible to tell where her mask started.

Shelly couldn’t quite understand how this had happened. And yet, it was happening.

Stranger still, she didn’t care.

She too got swept up in the music, dancing alongside Mowz with surprising ease. Shelly didn’t know why, but somehow, this just felt… right. Very right. Maybe… Maybe she was falling for Ms. Mowz after all?

Her thoughts would be interrupted as the song ended and she found herself suddenly dipped far back. She was afraid she was going to fall over completely, but Mowz’s grip on the koopa proved to be surprisingly strong. All she could do was look into Mowz’s eyes and smile - genuinelysmile - as the squeek turned bright red.

“You’re… You’re quite the dancer, Mowzie.”

And there was that nickname again, this time said with far more than just a hint of affection as Shelly started to bring herself back up, her face once more getting quite close to Mowz’s…

“Oh, thank you, you’re quite the dancer yourself~” Well, that….came out much more flirtatious than Ms. Mowz had wanted, but, it almost seemed….fitting. Even still, the squeek found herself unable to move away (or closer) to Shelly, and just sort of….froze in place.

She took a quick glance at the clock, revealing it to be 11:58. The year was almost over… She found herself lost in thought, and that thought wound up coming out her mouth.

“It’s almost midnight…. I wonder how many people are going start the year off by kissing….”

Shelly also looked between Mowz and the clock, seemingly surprised at how it could’ve been almost midnight already.

“Huh, so it is… I guess time flies when I’m with you!”

This time, it was Shelly’s turn to sound more flirtatious than intended. She turned back to Mowz, laughing nervously under her breath.

“So… Uh… Was that just an inquiry or an invitation?… I mean, if you WANT to… I guess… Maybe we could…”

11:59

Ms. Mowz’s face couldn’t get any redder than it already was, but she felt more embarrassed than she had at any other point that night.

“O-oh, I was just thinking aloud! Unless you- No, never mind, I shouldn’t…” She trailed off a bit, and her tone got a hint sad at the end.

She decided it’d be best to help Shelly get back up on her feet, and the two ended up holding hands at the end. By accident. Or…. Was it? Either way, Ms. Mowz found herself….not wanting to let go. She pulled her gaze away from Shelly’s face to look at the clock.

30 seconds left.

29… 28… 27… 26…

As she stood there, Shelly realized that she didn’t want to let go either. She found herself gazing at Ms. Mowz even after she looked away to glance at the clock.

21… 20… 19… 18…

There was no denying it any longer: She was truly smitten with her. More than just out of sympathy for her previously unrecuperated crush. Shelly might’ve always been a little bi-curious, but it wasn’t until now that she knew someone who pushed it beyond just a girl-crush. Someone who she could see herself in a true, honest relationship with.

15… 14… 13… 12…

But would the feeling last? Or was it doomed to be just a fling? After what she already put her through, Shelly didn’t want to crush Mowz’s hopes again.

10… 9… 8…

Was she willing to take the risk? To possibly devastate the squeek even more in the search of a legitimate romance?

7… 6… 5…

She could walk away… She knew Mowz wouldn’t fault her for it. But looking into the squeek’s eyes, that wasn’t all she knew. As the final seconds ticked down, she knew…

4…

She

3…

Loved

2…

Her

1…

As the clock struck midnight, Shelly pulled Ms. Mowz in, embraced her tightly, and kissed her. Not just a friendly peck or a flirty smooch, but a full, tender kiss. One to let Mowz know that her feelings were not in vain, and that she - fully and truly - loved her in return.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

As soon as the kiss ended, Ms. Mowz immediately jerked backwards and clamped her hands over her mouth.

That didn’t….really just happen, did it? She didn’t…..Initiate that, did she?

Ms. Mowz’s eyes sparkled; she looked simultaneously delighted and horrified. Her heart was pounding so hard, it seemed to drown out all other sounds. She stepped backwards a few steps, her hands shaking over her mouth. After a few seconds of shaking, she spoke.

“C-can we….please sit down for a second…..?”

As Shelly opened her eyes again, she found herself face-to-face with a trembling, conflicted Ms. Mowz. Whatever excitement she had before was now replaced with concern. Was the kiss too far? It was what Mowz was hoping for, wasn’t it?

Shelly didn’t even need to give a verbal response, instead simply nodding as she (gently!) held Mowz and escorted her away from the dance floor to find someplace to sit down.

“… I’m sorry… I… I should’ve asked first…”

“No, no, it’s not that! It’s just, I, uh, you, we, that was-” Ms. Mowz tried to make eye contact with the other, but as she kept stumbling over her words, she opted to look down at the floor. She fidgeted her hands quite a bit, struggling to find the right thing to say.

“You…..really….didn’t have to do that for me… I… I’m sorry….. I don’t… I really don’t want you to……feel obligated to do things like that- I shouldn’t have even brought it up- if you don’t like me, well, you don’t, and you,…..don’t have to try to….. O-okay?”

She bit her lip, and bent her head down.

Shelly reached out, gently cupping Mowz’s chin in her hand before raising it back up so she could look her in the eye.

“Mowzie… It’s okay. I do like you. You’re… You’re beautiful and funny and caring and I never realized it until now because I never considered being with another girl before. But now… Now I know. I want to make this work because… because I love you.”

Behind her mask, Shelly looked to be on the verge of tears herself, but she seemed almost… happy. As if she was relieved to finally say those words out loud.

Ms. Mowz let out the tiniest gasp as Shelly gently caressed her face. She found herself unable to look away, or say a single word. As the other spoke, her heart pounded faster and faster. It got to the point that she gripped her chest, genuinely fearing it would fall out otherwise.

But the second Shelly said the ‘L’ word, it stopped entirely.

Seconds passed as she tried to process what she’d heard. Did she really say love? Did she….really say she loved her? The mask made it hard for her to see Shelly’s eyes, but… The answer seemed to be yes.

Her eyes immediately swelled with tears as she pulled Shelly into a powerful embrace.

Prior Tale || Continue the Story?

#Plot #Let's Hope This Mask Can Hide Me #Long post #SORRY MOBILE USERS

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