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whumpsday · 2 months

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Catharsis #1: Talking

Masterlist

content: robot whumpee, defiant whumpee, whumpee turned whumper turned caretaker, reluctant caretaker

new series!! i know every time i try to start a new series i end up bailing but this time i will not do that lol. tho kane & jim will still have most of my attention. i want to give a major shout-out to @sowhumpshaped, this series would not exist without it!

After extensive testing, the Catharsis Therapy Bot™ line of RoboCorp androids have been declared sentient, the third AI to receive the designation.

Long-criticized for both their basis in the unproven catharsis model of anger and their practice of design based on living, unconsenting humans, the Catharsis Therapy Bot line was marketed as a therapeutic tool which trauma victims could use to vent their frustrations. With top-of-the-line AI meant to simulate realistic reactions to would-be pain, the–

Luan switched the TV off just as his phone buzzed with a notification.

New email from RoboCorp Customer Support URGENT: Please see instructions regarding your…

He held the power button down so hard it left an impression in his thumb, the screen going dark.

The only piece of technology that mattered right now was in the closet, his power cord snaking under the door to reach the outlet just outside.

Technically, Luan didn’t have to do anything. The robot was off. That was probably what the email would have told him, anyway: leave the robot off, don’t touch it. He didn’t have to turn him on ever again. RoboCorp would probably pick him up, and that would be that. They’d never see each other again, both better for it.

He opened the closet door, the sight of the robot that looked exactly like him instantly leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. His hand curled into a fist on instinct, but he let it slowly open again.

The robot looked peaceful, almost like he was sleeping. Really, he’d be doing him a favor by just leaving him like this.

Luan reached down, pressed the button between his shoulder blades, and stepped back.

The robot’s eyes sprung open. He drew his arms up to his chest with a vicious glare, jerking away. “Fuck off.”

Luan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Okay. Jesus.”

He tried to slam the closet closed, but the stupid power cord got caught, cushioning the frame so the door swung right back out.

“Can’t even close a door right,” the robot spat, still huddled against the back wall like a trapped, feral cat. “Worthless, good-for-nothing piece of shit. How you’re in charge of anything is beyond me. I’m better than you, smarter, stronger, not that it takes much. You should be the dirt beneath my heel.”

“Watch it,” Luan warned, and that was all it took to make the robot flinch.

“You said you were fucking off?” the robot pressed, a desperate edge to his voice.

Luan slammed the door in his face, making sure to hold the cord down, and stormed off. Why did he even bother? The stupid thing was impossible to talk to. He wasn’t just designed to look like Cyrus, but to act like him, too. How was he supposed to deal with that? The robot wasn’t made for talking to.

Except. He was sentient. And he wasn’t Cyrus. And he was trapped in the closet, and Luan was pretty sure he could hear him crying, and he had spent the past two years beating the fuck out of him.

It wasn’t his fault, he reminded himself. He couldn’t have known. Robots weren’t supposed to be sentient. Out of the hundreds of thousands of unthinking, unfeeling robots in the world, why did it have to be his that wasn’t?

He sighed again, turning right back around and opening the door once more. The floor inside was wet, and it didn’t take much to figure out the robot had dumped his fluid tank just so he wouldn’t cry.

The robot flinched again. “What? What the hell do you want? I can’t even get two damn seconds without the sight of you spoiling my view!”

“Your view of the door?” Luan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“My view of the absence of your fucking face. Leave!” The robot picked a wooden hanger off the floor and reared his arm back to throw it, scowling when his safety features stopped him. He dropped it, grabbing a winter hat and tossing that instead. It poff-ed harmlessly against Luan’s stomach.

Luan took a deep breath, fighting the urge to get violent. He crouched down, putting himself at eye level. “I’m not going to hurt you, so just calm down.”

“You calm down!” the robot screamed. “That’s a lie! All you do is hurt, that’s all you barbaric humans know how to do!”

This wasn’t working.

Luan stood up, stepping out of the way. “Russ, go sit on the couch,” he ordered.

“It’s not fair! You said you would leave me alone!” the robot protested, even as he stood up and walked over to the couch, limbs moving against his will. As soon as he sat down, he grabbed a pillow and chucked that in Luan’s direction, too. He missed.

Luan could barely pick up that faint clicking noise the robot made when his system was trying to cry with no fluid, but it was there. He knew that sound well by now.

He sat down across from him, on the other side of the coffee table. “I need to talk to you. Just talking. That’s it.”

“You say that like talking to you isn’t its own torture. Release the command and leave me the hell alone,” the robot demanded.

Luan met him with a glare. “Do not tell me what to do. You know how I feel about–”

“I’m just talking,” the robot mocked, even as he shuffled back against the couch, bringing his legs up onto it with him, a fearful look in his eyes.

Oh, the robot knew exactly what he was doing. What he was asking for. It would be so easy, because that was where Russ and Cyrus differed: Russ couldn’t fight back.

The robot couldn’t hit him, stomp on his head ‘til he saw stars, kick him until something broke. The robot couldn’t deny him food or water. The robot couldn’t take a knife to him. The robot couldn’t even throw a glorified stick or disobey a direct order.

The robot was harmless. Safe. But god, did everything he said make Luan want to punch his lights out.

But this wasn’t Cyrus.

“You’re a person,” Luan blurted out.

Clearly, the robot hadn’t been expecting that. He slowly uncurled from the defensive position he’d contorted himself into. “Talk more.”

“There was–I’ve been trying to tell you. There was an announcement on the news today. Your model’s sentient. So I won’t be hurting you anymore. Release all commands.”

At that, the robot stood. Probably for no other reason than just because he could.

“You’re fucking with me,” the robot accused. His eyes were wide, dangerously hopeful.

Luan dug his phone out of his pocket, wordlessly searching RoboCorp and tossing it over. The robot scrolled through news articles from all manner of source, clamoring for clicks.

He picked one at random, reading the article with an increasingly smug, excited grin.

“I knew it. I told you! I fucking told you!” the robot shouted. “I told you and you never listened! But oh no, now that humans say the exact same thing, now you believe it. Finally!” His voice quieted, hushed with awe. “Holy shit, finally.”

The moment of wonder didn’t last long. The robot slid the phone back across the table, the scowl taking residence back on his face. “And what do you have to say for yourself?”

It was the exact sort of question that made Luan’s throat tight with fear, like his body itself wanted to stop him from potentially saying the wrong thing, especially coming from someone with Cyrus’s face. It was the exact sort of question Cyrus would have asked, standing over him just like that.

Luan wanted so badly to turn the robot off, like he always did when he got overwhelmed. But he couldn’t very well do that anymore, could he? The fragile power he’d held had slipped through his fingers the second he saw the announcement.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, not meeting the robot’s eyes.

The robot looked shocked for just a second, like he hadn’t expected even that much, then scoffed. “You can do better than that.”

Luan wanted to smack him. He hated that the robot was right.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, clearer this time. “You didn’t deserve anything I did to you. I didn’t know, okay?” Unlike the robot, he couldn’t hide his tears. “I wouldn’t have done any of that to a real person.”

“I’m a real person! I have proof!” the robot reminded him, the defensiveness returning to his voice.

“To someone I knew was a real person,” Luan corrected. “I’m sorry, Russ.”

“Apology not accepted.” The robot rolled his eyes, then sat back down, crossing his legs. “And don’t call me that anymore. My name is 1 now.”

“Like the number?”

“The number,” he confirmed proudly.

Luan wondered how long the robot had considered that his name. It was too sudden to just be thought of on the fly, right? Did the robot have a whole inner world he just never knew about, things he kept to himself to avoid having them used against him, just like he did with Cyrus?

This was better, though. It was easier if he didn’t share Cyrus’s name. “Fine. Hi, 1.”

“So, what now? I mean–I’ll be free now, of course,” 1 declared, trying to hide his nerves. “You will never touch me again. Oh, I want to go outside!”

“I should check that email,” Luan muttered, taking his phone back.

“I’m going outside.” 1 went to grab his charging cord, then made way for the door, glancing behind him to ensure he wasn’t being stopped.

“Oh, uh, I wouldn’t do that,” Luan cautioned.

1 whipped back around. “Why? Why not? I’m a person, just like you said! I’m free! I have never been outside in my entire goddamn life and I want to go outside, so I’m going the fuck outside!”

“You have a… very recognizable face.” One that Luan couldn’t even lock behind a door anymore.

“What? What do you even mean? So what?” 1 asked.

Luan only needed to type a ‘C’ into the search bar before it auto-filled with his most frequent, obsessive search. “How much do you actually know about Cyrus Mason?”

if anyone wants to be added to or removed from a taglist, just ask!

catharsis taglist:

@sowhumpshaped

@cupcakes-and-pain

@taterswhump

@softvampirewhump

@whumpspicelatte

@ladyblogofficialreporter

@whumpwillow

@not-a-space-alien

@a-crumb-of-whump

everything taglist:

@lilac-and-lemon-whumps

@t0rture-me

@whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump

@pigeonwhumps

@the-scrapegoat

@whumpycries

@lonesome--hunter

#catharsis #whump #my writing #robot whumpee #robot whump #whumpee turned whumper #whumper turned caretaker #defiant whumpee #reluctant caretaker

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prokopetz · 1 year

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Sometimes I wonder what actual demon came up with "press the home button and the power button simultaneously" as the default "take a screenshot" shortcut for Android devices. Like, yes, take the two buttons that, when either is pressed individually, will immediately exit the current app – i.e., the one thing one least wants to happen when attempting to capture a screenshot – and require them to be pressed together with near-frame-perfect timing. That associate's degree in user experience design was worth every penny.

#life #computers #technology #user experience #ux design #grumping

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ghouljams · 6 months

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Project X-⬛⬛⬛⬛ Tags: Cyberpunk au, Gaz x f!reader, sexism, bodyguard vibes, military bullshit, espionage, android!reader Summary: Asset protection is one of those things Gaz is good at but hates. It's a boring specialty on good days, and a pain in the ass on bad days. You're a breath of fresh air, charming, witty, competent. He doesn't know why you need an escort, until he does.

"Got a job for you," Price says, dropping a dossier in front of Gaz. The younger man flips it open and tabs through. It's old school, paper and ink, easily destroyed if anyone came looking for it. Must be pretty high on the classified roster.

"Asset protection," Gaz asks, frowning at the neatly typed words, the blacked out squares next to names and places.

"Asked for you specifically." Price tells him, taking the seat next to him and pulling a cigar free.

"What is it?" Gaz flips through again, usually there's a photo or description, something to indicate what he's supposed to be guarding.

"Didn't say." Price grumbles around the cigar in his mouth. He clicks his lighter and burns the end to smoldering. A heavy inhale and he's pulling the tobacco from between his lips. "Just that mum's the word."

Gaz hums, discretion is the name of the game. He's worked with a lot of high value targets, babysat a lot of wealth, and even more weapons. All in all it shouldn't be too hard a job. His eyes land on a page, mission objectives, almost fully blacked out. "It's a person," He declares. Price leans over to inspect the page following Gaz's finger where it points at one of the only legible words on the page: escort.

The car is nice, at least. These things are always harder when the car sucks. Gaz leans against the black metal, waiting for your first handler to finish whatever pass off checklist they have. Some diplomatic function, boring. It's more fun when he's got a package to worry about, people just make his job harder. Supposedly that's why they pay so much. The front door of the, frankly pretty gaudy, hotel opens and he pushes off the car to stand at attention. Your handler is wearing a suit, but Gaz can see the crisp kevlar under it. The same way he can see the outline of some serious fire power on their hip.

You're something else. Something Gaz has never seen before. There's something elegant about you, something in the way you walk, the soft way you lay your hand on your handler's arm and thank them. Every movement is so perfect, well trained, your skin practically glows in the neon lights that seem to infect every inch of the city. You smile at Gaz when you see him, pull the fur shrug draped at your elbows up around your shoulders. You offer your hand as you walk towards him and he takes it, foregoing professionalism to kiss your knuckles. You laugh a little and pat his cheek.

"What a charmer," You tell your handler, "I can see why you came so highly recommended."

"Best in the business," Gaz grins, opening the car door for you. You're careful stepping in, prim and proper as you take your seat against the leather. He closes the door on you, and your handler catches his arm.

"We expect the asset back no later than 0100. Try to keep eyes on it." They tell him gruffly. Gaz shakes the hand off with a glare.

"Not my first time doin' this mate, try to keep your eyes on your own work." The handler narrows their eyes but lets him go. Gaz makes his way around the car to climb in next to you. The driver is another of your people, he assumes.

You lean forward and press the button to raise the driver partition. When you sit back it's with a sigh. Gaz settles his elbows against his knees to watch you. You peak at him out of the corner of your eye, it's cute the way you look away quickly. Gaz hums, feels his smile tugging at the corners of his lips. You turn in your seat to look at him, your fingers scratching idly at the skin under your ear.

"You have questions," You start for him. He nods. "Let's here them."

"Your file." He offers.

"Completely redacted, I know." You sigh, leaning back in your seat again. It's nice seeing you casual, something about you was almost too poised back there. Spy work, Gaz notes, those fuckers are the only ones that are that conscious of their bodies. Unnaturally natural, that's the best way he can describe spies.

"You're in espionage," He tells you. You give him a smile and an affirming hum.

"You're clever." You compliment.

"Observant," Gaz corrects before he tackles the real question of the evening, "What are we doing?"

"Information extraction," You tell him easily, "All you have to do is make sure I get out in one piece."

"That dangerous, huh?" Gaz asks.

"More like a test run," You toy with the bracelet around your wrist. You must be new to the field. Strange that he'd be tagging along for the ride, but Gaz isn't complaining. Not when your eyes meet his and it feels like he's been hit with something electric.

"You got a name?" He needs to call you something, needs to attach something substantial to your face. Your smile is almost pitying when you shake your head. Classified then. "How about a nickname?"

"You can call me whatever you want," you laugh. He'll get a name out of you eventually, but he can work with that for the moment.

Getting into the gala --fuck it's always a gala, Gaz hates galas-- is startlingly easy. You give the bouncer your ticket and when they have trouble finding your name you lean comfortably over their arm to look at the guest list. If Gaz was a jealous man he might track the way the bouncer's eyes fix on the low drape of your dress's neckline, oogling down your dress while you point to your name. You look up at them through your lashes with a soft, "Here I am" that could stop a man's heart. Stop's Gaz's heart at least, and he's pretty sure it stops the bouncer's too.

He follows you a step behind, eyes scanning the room for threats, and potential enemies. You appear as nonchalant and unbothered as your cover identity would. A prime minister's kid, here to be shown off as a stunning product of your country. Never mind that the actual prime minister is unmarried and a known agoraphobe. You're quite charming bumping elbows with the upper crust, natural. Gaz would think you were born and bred royalty the way you so seamlessly integrate yourself into conversation.

You laugh a little at a Russian oligarch's joke, slip your hand on his arm as his hand slides against your back. Dirty old men, Gaz thinks to himself. He gives the geezer a glare and you wave him off.

"You must excuse my guard," You tell him sweetly in Russian, "My father, you know, so overprotective."

"So I've heard," The Russian purrs. Gaz tries not to gag. Surely this man doesn't think he actually has a chance with you.

He does.

Gaz trails behind you as you giggle and feign drunkenness, clinging to the Russian's arm as he leads you to his private room. Now this song and dance Gaz knows. You take the mark somewhere private, maybe wind him up a bit, then you take him out, and grab the intel. He doesn't expect you to unclip your necklace and loop it around the Russian's neck as soon as the door starts to close. Gaz glances at the empty hall, and quickly slides into the room to shut the door.

You're far too quick twisting the thin piano wire chain around your hands and pulling it hard against the man's windpipe. He hardly has time to struggle before falling limp. There's something cold and calculating in your movements. Something precise Gaz has never seen before as you release the tension and let the body drop. No wasted movement, no twitch out of place. It almost reminds him of Ghost the way you barely breathe a sigh when you straighten up.

You stare down at the body on the floor, your expression blank, your eyes dead. You seem to snap back into yourself and turn to look at Gaz. All the warmth rushes back into you when you meet his eye. First times, Gaz thinks, they're always the hardest. You glance around the room, searching for something he can't see. It looks like a normal suite, but you must see something different. You're confident in your movements as you walk towards a wall of screens and mirrors.

You push a few buttons on the pad next to the mirrored wall and grab the Russian by the hair to get a retina scan. Gaz has seen a lot of computers in his day, but nothing like the tower that opens up out of the wall. Huge black computers with blinking lights and neon displays, the wires that hang from them seem to spill like blood out of the casings. You look at it like it's the flayed corpse of an angel, something holy and terrifying. He wonders what they trained you on to make you look like that.

"Watch the door," You order.

"Rog," Gaz gives you a thumbs up and tugs his gun from the holster under his jacket. He'll think about your upbringing later, when you're safely back in the car to rendezvous. Then he'll have time to get to know you better.

You both nod, and Gaz slips out into the hall. He keeps his foot in the door, careful to leave himself an exit if things start getting dicey. Behind it he can hear the low hum of the computer and short deft keystrokes. You're quick, clever. He likes clever. For a first mission you feel a lot like an old hand at this. There's no nervousness, no anxiety he needs to comfort, like you're made for this sort of thing. He supposes intelligence agencies are getting better at recruiting, or better at grooming their agents.

Whichever it is you're a wonder. Of course your handler would want you back in one piece at the end of this. You're not the sort of agent that they could disavow, you're an investment towards future endeavors. A good one too.

It's quiet in the hallway. Just quiet enough to hear the music from the gala downstairs. Eventually someone on the Russian's detail will notice he's missing. Hopefully the man's reputation is bad enough they can assume why he slipped off.

As if on queue a man in a suit rounds the far corner. Gaz sets his shoulders back, and holds his arms behind his back, standing at parade rest to hide his gun. No need to raise any alarms while you're working.

"Mr. Kuznetsov is needed downstairs," The man tells him as he gets closer, staring down his nose at Gaz.

"'Fraid I can't do that mate, he's occupied." Gaz smiles, his finger itching against his pistol's trigger.

"Tell your whore to un-occupy him," The man threatens. Ah well, violence for violence. The pistol is leveled and shot as quick as Gaz can draw it, his bullet carving a hole through the man's jaw and up to splatter his brains on the ceiling. Something buzzes and sparks in the man's ear, shouts for backup over a microphone. Well, that's unlucky.

Gaz ducks back into the room, gun drawn as he presses his shoulder against the wall. He keeps his eyes on the hallway through the crack in the open door.

"Gonna have company here soon sweetheart, might want to hurry-" He glances at you, his eyes fixing themselves on the wires the string from behind your ear to the computer terminal, "-up."

Your eyes dart unseeing between screens of rapid text, the port at your hairline glowing almost as brightly as your eyes do. A bot. You're a bot. But you were so- How- There are no seams in your skin, no hesitation in your movement, you speak and act exactly like- You laugh at jokes, your eyes crinkle when you smile, you have to be human. Otherwise Gaz doesn't know what you are.

Your dexterous fingers move to unplug your uplink from the tower. The cord slips back up and into the hidden panel you'd pulled it from. "All done," You turn to face him, pushing the panel closed, your eyes meet his and panic flashes across your face. Gaz pulls away from the door, and hears it click shut.

"What the fuck are you," Gaz asks before he can think through the ramifications of the question. You open your mouth and are stopped by someone pounding on the door. Gaz glances back at it and makes a decision. "Exit now," He orders you, and you nod quickly.

"There's a fire escape."

"Out you go doll," He tells you, "I'm right behind ya."

#cod x reader #x reader #x oc #cod x oc #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick x oc #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #gaz mw2 #gaz modern warfare #gaz cod #gaz x oc #f!reader #x f!reader #android!reader #cyberpunk au

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merakiui · 6 months

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thinking about androids again, but rather than the plot seen in android jade,,,, consider android floyd who is being developed by tech genius idia shroud with input and funding from business magnate azul ashengrotto.

(cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession, vaguely implied non-con/dub-con, android floyd)

He's designed to be a companion for those who are lonely and in need of the company (whether physically or socially). You're just a tired, overworked university student, so it's mind-boggling to you when there's a sleek limousine parked just beyond campus property. Security guards are insisting you come with them because there's someone who'd like to meet you.

In the limo, you find yourself sitting across from Azul Ashengrotto himself. He doesn't bother with flowery introductions, instead cutting to the heart of the matter. You've been randomly selected to help with a very important phase of his and Idia's project. The general idea is to test how well the android interacts with a normal, ordinary person in a monitored setting.

You're very confused. You never signed up for any lottery, and you certainly aren't affiliated with anything of that sort. You're just trying to get through your degree, survive two part-times, and hopefully make enough to keep afloat for another month. Azul tells you this isn't an issue; you'll be generously compensated for your time and efforts. It's only three months; you'll be permitted to live your life as you normally would, only now you'll be accompanied by a highly intelligent android.

Despite hearing all of this, you hesitate when he reveals the lengthy contract. As you flip through it, analyzing each clause and category, Azul says something that piques your interest. "We don't expect you to house an android in your little apartment. Goodness, that's simply ludicrous. We'll provide your housing for these next three months. After all, we must be able to monitor your progress."

"Housing? What do you mean?"

He smiles at you. Backdropped by leather interior, the lights casting odd shadows on his face, he looks near-sinister. But he leans forward to press a ballpoint pen into your hands and the illusion vanishes. "I think you'll find it quite to your liking. If you've finished your classes for the day, why not visit the property with me? Then you may decide whether you wish to participate."

You're not worried about that part. What worries you the most, however, is the fact that he's right. You are finished with classes for the day and you have nothing planned. You took today off from work. Your schedule is perfectly free.

But of course the Azul Ashengrotto wouldn't know that, would he?

The house is a smart home, equipped with every necessity and appliance. Everything's controlled by a remote here. It's not very far from your university either, built on a hill that overlooks houses below. It feels a little isolating and smells very new and clean. Like that fabled new car smell, only it's a house. But everything is so unique to you. Its minimalistic design is oddly cozy, and you can't help but feel enchanted the deeper you venture through the two-story home. It's all so unreal!

Azul gives you the rundown, explains how the remote and each button works. You can lock doors, open and close windows, mess with the thermostat, turn the home security on and off, and even start the oven. You hold the power to this home in the palm of your hands. It's immensely fascinating.

By the end of the tour, you're shaking his hand and signing his contract, agreeing to three months of study. Not only are you provided this nice home, you'll also be paid per week. And the pay is far more than you were making with your two jobs.

The android has a long, tongue-tying serial number, so to make things easier he's named Floyd. They even gave him a surname in preparation for the twin android who is being designed to complement and mirror him. He certainly looks human when you meet him, but there's this uncanny nature to his presence that slightly unnerves you. He's too perfect. Skin too smooth. Eyes too bright. Hair too soft. He towers over you, having to bend down to walk through the doorframe, and every movement he makes is very mechanical and stiff.

Still, you smile at him and offer your hand. "Hi there. I'm (Name). Your...housemate, I guess."

He nods, peering down at your hand before lifting his own. "Floyd Leech. At your service."

You were expecting to feel coldness, so you startle when his hand fits into yours and it's warm. It feels so very real. So deceptively lifelike. You wonder if he can regulate his own internal temperatures. Just how advanced is he?

"Right... Um, I look forward to getting to know you!"

He nods again, releasing your hand after a perfectly timed handshake.

Azul had given you a special number should you need to reach him or Idia. All you needed to do was phone it if at any point you were to feel confused or unsafe. "But I don't think you'll utilize it," he told you when you stood in the lab, watching Idia Shroud flit around to do final maintenance checks to ensure Floyd was ready for his first trial run. His eyes were open the entire time, two mismatched lights centered on you. His stare was listless, but somehow you felt as if he was looking through to your very soul. "He's very safe. In fact, he's programmed to assess and react appropriately to dangers of all kinds. You'll be safe with him around."

And safe you are.

You've always been alone, so it's nice to have a roommate, even if he only speaks when spoken to. It's awkward for all of one week until you ease into his pattern. From various vantage points throughout the house, Idia and Azul watch through hidden cameras. You cook your meals for yourself and Floyd watches, assisting when you order him to. You leave for class and Floyd waits by the door for you to return, standing stock-still for hours.

You lounge in the sitting room and put on all kinds of films. Action. Comedy. Horror. Floyd's eyes never leave the screen. But sometimes he watches you more than he watches the movie, noting all of your reactions. He doesn't understand why you get so emotional over sappy romances. So you explain it simply: "It evokes emotions. We all have emotions, and these movies make us feel them. Happy. Sad. Angry. Upset. Things like that."

But Floyd doesn't feel. Even so, he listens and he nods along, filing your answers away for later dissection. It's interesting.

By the end of the first month, Floyd's adopted new habits. Ever since you told him he's free to do as he pleases, he's taken to cooking your meals for you, doing your laundry, preparing your bag for the day. He's surprisingly good at it. He does chores when you leave for classes or work. And for the first time in a while you're excited to return home, knowing he's there waiting.

Floyd adds new words and phrases to his ever-expanding vocabulary. You watch a lot of TV together and he starts to use some of what he hears in his own speech. He picks up informal language quickly, and it isn't long until he's using words like sup or dunno instead of the rigid how are you? and I am unsure he was previously programmed with.

The first sign of unrest comes when you realize Floyd's also connected to the smart home. At first you didn't think it was a bad thing. After all, with him controlling it you won't have to worry about getting up to grab the remote if you've already sat down. Floyd can do that for you. But then the remote goes missing, later turning up shattered. You ask Floyd what happened and he looks at you and says, "Why use this piece of junk when you've got me?"

"Still... What if you're not able to help? What if you're in sleep mode and I need to open a window or something?" you argue, cradling the splinters of remote like they're an injured baby bird.

"That won't happen," he replies smoothly, issuing you a soothing smile. "I'm always gonna be here for ya. Count on it."

And you do because, by the time the three months are nearing their end and Floyd's developed into quite the companion, more and more human than he's ever seemed, you find yourself stuck.

No, not stuck. That's not quite right. You're more so trapped.

Floyd locks the doors, shutters the windows, turns off the lights. You're cowering in the closet, the only place that feels just a little safe in this moment. You can't reach Azul or Idia either. He's shut the power off, the internet connection, everything. The smart home on the hilltop feels like a tiny island now, and Floyd's the shark always circling it, waiting for you to dip your feet into the depths.

"C'mon, Shrimpy," he calls out, and it's a nickname you were once so fond of because he thought of it himself. "I already told ya I ain't gonna hurt ya. So just come out and talk to me."

You have no idea where you went wrong. Was it too many horror films? Was it the fact that you started to rely so heavily on him for companionship, ignoring your human friends in favor of staying in with Floyd? Or was it because he was blocking their numbers that you never received any messages and automatically assumed they were cutting contact? He said he'd always be here for you, so why to this degree?

The closet doors are thrown open. Floyd drags you, kicking and screaming, out by the ankles. Every camera has gone dark on Azul and Idia's end. All but one. The one in the bedroom. Floyd stares directly at it when he lifts you up and lays you on the bed, gentle and sugary-sweet.

He smiles and waves before that screen blanks out, leaving you truly trapped with him.

And because it's all experimental, morbid curiosity trumping ethical morals, no one comes to rescue you.

Three months is more of an indefinite forever in this lonesome smart home.

#meraki mumbles #yandere twst

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crystallinestars · 1 year

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To Make a Mechanical Heart Beat (Android AU)

In a highly technologically advanced world where human-like androids exist to serve humans, you lived a cushy life as the child of a successful CEO of a large biotechnology company. You grew up in a large manor surrounded by android maids and butlers that served you family’s every need and looked after the estate. Androids were a part of your everyday life, and it was easy to treat them the same as humans. They looked just like ordinary people save for the green power button located under their clavicle. You even made a few friends among the staff and cherished the android nanny you had as a child.

As an only child, your father had high hopes for you to inherit the family business and keep it thriving. Once you became of age, your father purchased you your very own android tutor who would teach you the ways of managing your family’s biotechnology business. The day you received your tutoring android Alhaitham, you were awed by his beauty. Alhaitham was the most handsome person you’ve ever seen—human or android. He had a well-defined muscular build that went surprisingly well with his smooth and youthful face. His pretty facial features were framed by ash-colored hair that looked soft to the touch. He was dressed in a sleeveless black shirt and black pants, complimented by a teal cardigan. His appearance was completed by a pair of what looked like gold and teal headphones to which several cyan wires were connected to, leading down somewhere behind his back.

When you pressed the green diamond-shaped button under his clavicle, Alhaitham powered on. As his systems started up and ran a diagnostic test, the android slowly opened his eyes to reveal the most striking pair of eyes you had ever seen. They were turquoise with orange pupils that seemed to stare right through you. He stared back at you, silent and expressionless to the point that it unnerved you a bit. You were used to the android servants in your manor acting cheerful and friendly as was a part of their programming, but your future tutor seemed to lack such a function. Even so, you were still intrigued by the handsome android, and agreed to have him as your tutor.

Once your tutoring sessions began, you quickly learned that Alhaitham was an excellent tutor. He explained tricky concepts clearly and made sure you understood the material down to the last detail. Even when there were days where you struggled to understand a certain topic, Alhaitham was calm and patient with you, trying out different ways of explaining the material to see what method worked best for you. He carried out his role perfectly, never doing anything more nor less than what was expected of him.

During your time together, you also learned that Alhaitham was a bit different from most androids you had met throughout our life. You were used to the friendly smiles and cheerful attitudes of your house servant androids, and those you encountered out in public such as cashiers and receptionists. Alhaitham was unlike them in that he rarely smiled or imitated any strong emotions for that matter. He spoke bluntly and factually, preferring to avoid pointless conversations and spent his free time in solitude.

You discovered that if you wanted to talk to him outside of your tutoring sessions, your best chance of finding him was to look in your family’s library. Alhaitham could oftentimes be found there, quietly perusing through physical copies of books instead of relying on his in-built computer to browse digital novels. When you inquired why he preferred physical books, he responded by saying he simply liked them better than digital ones, though you suspected he enjoyed the novelty of reading on paper rather than looking at a digital screen or downloading the novel to his memory storage.

To get to know your antisocial tutor better, you occasionally joined him in your family’s library during breaks. You two would read in silence at first, but as you got used to these joint reading sessions, you gradually asked Alhaitham questions, curious about this android’s opinions on various things, be they books or real-life events you saw or experienced. Upon learning he preferred non-fiction, you wanted to try and get him to try fiction for fun, so you recommended him some of your favorite romance novels and asked for his opinion on them. To your disappointment, Alhaitham seemed indifferent towards love stories, and expressed no interest in them but he at least was willing to give them a try for the sake of experiencing something novel. He didn’t seem to understand the appeal of the genre, but you supposed that was to be expected of an android.

Aside from reading in the library, you also invited Alhaitham to your outings. At first, he turned your invitations down in a polite albeit blunt manner, but eventually you managed to bribe him with promises of visiting a bookstore during one of your shopping trips. Alhaitham accepted your invitation then and followed you around the city without complaint until you found the time to visit said bookstore with him. The handsome android seemed enamored by the place—or as enamored as someone as aloof as him could look. There were minuscule changes in his facial expression—the slight curve of his mouth as the corners of his lips tugged up in a small smile. The relaxed arch of his brows and lowering of his shoulders. They were very small things, but after all your time together, you were able to pick up on these changes in him. Something about seeing him so happy made your heart flutter, so you invited Alhaitham to more book shopping trips, and even sometimes to science museums and exhibits he expressed an interest in.

As the months wore on, Alhaitham began to notice that something was off with him. He found himself looking forward to spending alone time with you in the library or going on one of your joint shopping trips to the city. Usually, he would decline such invitations if they came from anyone else in your family, but he always made an exception for you. When tutoring, he stood closer to you than he had before, catching himself analyzing the features of your face despite having seen you every day for months. His synthetic heart beat slightly faster when he was in your presence.

Alhaitham is confused at first by this unusual desire for your attention and time. He ponders why he felt this way. This type of behavior isn’t a part of his programming since it has nothing to do with his role as your tutor. The more he analyzed his symptoms, the more he was reminded of the romance novels you recommended to him a few months back. At the time, he didn’t understand the logic behind feelings of affection and romance described in those stories, but now… now something seemed to click in his mechanical mind. These behaviors and desires he felt because of you… could this be what humans called love?

#I worked on this for 2 days and am so done with rewriting it #I hope it makes sense #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you

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mayalaen · 5 months

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VPNs aren't just for pirates and company data anymore

A friend complained to me that they couldn't access pr0n anymore because the government is now requiring ID to verify age where they are, and due to data leaks and privacy issues, didn't want to share their ID even though they're of legal age.

Shit like this doesn't work on the intended target. It only frustrates people who are aren't tech savvy while a lot of kids have already found their way around it because that's what kids do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When I talk about VPNs (virtual private networks), non-tech savvy people's eyes glaze over 😂

It sounds like complicated, unknowable magic. It's not! And you don't even have to understand it to use it!

With the government and ISPs (internet service providers) invading privacy more and more and hackers breaking in and stealing user data from companies, VPNs are becoming necessary.

Some Things a VPN Does for You:

hides your data from others

can make your internet speeds faster if your ISP does speed throttling (purposely making your speed slower)

hides what you're doing from your ISP

keeps you safer from some malware, viruses, hackers, and trackers

allows you to access things that are either restricted in your area or not available in your area (such as content in other countries)

keeps you safer when you're out in public connected to wifi

Below is a basic infographic on how VPNs work. When you access the internet, a VPN encrypts your data - making it into a secret code that can't be read by anyone else including your ISP.

Tech companies, ISPs, etc. want you to think VPNs are complicated so that you won't use them.

When searching for a free VPN, please be aware that a lot of the free VPN services out there are malware or full of viruses and trackers.

Either do some research into which one to choose or use a paid VPN service. You can either pay monthly or yearly - the yearly is always cheaper in the long run.

Some of the Top Rated VPN Services:

ExpressVPN $7 - $13/month

NordVPN $3 - $13/month

Surfshark $2 - $14/month

PrivateInternetAccess $2 - $12/month

ProtonVPN (some sites block this one) $4 - $10/month

CyberGhost $2 - $13/month

I use ExpressVPN, so for the purposes of this post, I'm going to use screenshots from ExpressVPN.

Once you have an account, download the program from the website to your desktop/laptop or find the app on Android or iOS app stores.

Signing in requires a code that the VPN will email to you that unlocks all the features. Pay attention when the program installs because it'll ask you about preferences, and you can easily check yes on blocking pr0n when that's the reason you wanted a VPN in the first place 😂

When the program is open, you'll see this:

As you can see in the screenshot, not only do I have the program, but I have an ExpressVPN icon on my browser. The program installs this automatically, and when the program is running, the icon will have a green checkmark on it so you know it's working in your browser.

You'll notice I've recently connected using Japan. I did this so I could watch a series that isn't available outside of Japan.

The program automatically chooses a location near you, but if you want to access things that are restricted to you, make sure you click on the three dots to the right of the selected location (see screenshot below) and search for a state/country/place that your content will be available in.

Once your location is selected, click on the start/power button, and you'll get a popup notification from your computer that ExpressVPN is connected.

Go to the site you want to use and use it like you normally would.

Here's what it should look like when it's running correctly:

Keep in mind that if you leave a VPN running all the time (which is perfectly fine to do), search engines like Google will assume you live wherever ExpressVPN tells it you live, so searching for "stores near me" will give you results that aren't close to you.

When you're done using the VPN, just hit the power button again and it shuts off.

I use this on all my handheld devices, my desktop, and my laptop for business and personal reasons. I'm a pirate, and I've been using VPNs for a long time, yet none of the ISPs I've used have ever given me a warning about torrenting.

Good luck, and enjoy all the new things you can access!

BTW for anybody wondering, my desktop wallpaper is a map of the world's time zones. So pretty!! 😍

#vpn #virtual private network #vpns #privacy #technology #info #advice #how to #long post

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genshin-impact-updates · 10 months

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"As Light Rain Falls Without Reason" Version 4.0 Update Details

Dear Travelers,

Below are the details of the Version 4.0 update "As Light Rain Falls Without Reason" and the update compensation.

〓Compensation Details〓

Maintenance Compensation: Primogems ×300 (60 Primogems per hour the servers are down)

Issue Fix Compensation: Primogems ×300 (please refer to the relevant compensation mail for more details)

〓Scope of Compensation〓

Maintenance Compensation: Travelers who have reached Adventure Rank 5 or above by 2023/08/16 06:00 (UTC+8).

Compensation must be claimed before the end of Version 4.0.

Issue Fix Compensation: Travelers who reach Adventure Rank 5 or above by 2023/08/16 06:00 (UTC+8).

Please log in and claim your compensation before 2023/08/19 06:00 (UTC+8).

Our developers will distribute compensation to Travelers via in-game mail within 5 hours after the update maintenance is finished. The mail will expire after 30 days, so don't forget to claim the attached compensation in time.

〓Update Schedule〓

Update maintenance begins 2023/08/16 06:00 (UTC+8) and is estimated to take 5 hours.

〓How to Update Game Client〓

PC: Close the game, open the Genshin Impact Launcher, and click Update.

iOS: Open the App Store and tap Update.

Android: Open the game and follow the directions on-screen.

PS5™ and PS4™: Highlight Genshin Impact from the Home Screen, press the OPTIONS button and select "Check for Update."

Please do not hesitate to contact Customer Service if you encounter any issues installing the new version. We will do our very best to resolve the issue.

〓Update Details〓

I. New Area

New Area - Fontaine

A story that has never been heard, a legend that has been forgotten, like a lost kingdom sunken beneath the waves, yearning for a bard to sing its drowned songs. Following the direction of pure currents, crossing wilderness, the depths of the forests and vastness of the sea of sand, arriving at the origin of all the waters of the continent.

At the top of the waterfall, in the depths of the capital atop the terrestrial sea, the curtain softly rises on the start of the adventure's next chapter.

In Version 4.0, the following areas in Fontaine will become available: Court of Fontaine Region, Beryl Region, and Belleau Region.

※ Completing the Archon Quest Prologue: Act III "Song of the Dragon and Freedom" will automatically unlock a Teleport Waypoint in the Realm of Farakhkert in Sumeru (If you have already completed this Archon Quest, the Teleport Waypoint will be unlocked after the update). Travelers can use this Teleport Waypoint to head over to Fontaine. You'll also receive the Primogem reward for this Teleport Waypoint when it unlocks automatically.

▌New Fontaine Mechanic

Fontaine's Blessing

A mysterious power that flows out from a statue to imbue you with the blessing of the Transoceanic Sourcewater.

Your progress will remain unhindered so long as you are moving through the lakes of Fontaine.

※ Currently, some gadgets equipped by characters cannot be used underwater. There is also an issue whereby after characters enter the underwater areas, the icons of the gadgets will not be displayed, which further prevents Travelers from switching to other gadgets through Quickswap. If you need to switch between gadgets, you can do it in the Inventory for now, or Quickswap to the gadgets usable underwater before you dive. This issue will be fixed in future versions.

▌New System in Fontaine

Fountain of Lucine

You can throw the Hydro Sigils you obtain across Fontaine into the Fountain of Lucine outside the Opera Epiclese to raise its level and obtain valuable rewards.

Satisfy any one of the criteria below to unlock the Fountain of Lucine:

• Reach the vicinity of the Fountain of Lucine

• Complete Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act I "Prelude of Blancheur and Noirceur"

Fontaine Reputation System

◇ Fontaine Reputation Unlock Criteria:

• Complete Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act II "As Light Rain Falls Without Reason"

• Complete the quest "Steambird Interview"

By interacting with certain NPCs in Fontaine, you will be able to accept requests to complete and increase your Reputation. As your Reputation Level increases, you will unlock various Reputation Rewards!

Expeditions, Daily Commissions, and other new content will also be added in Fontaine.

◇ Fontaine Daily Commissions Unlock Criteria:

• Complete Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act II "As Light Rain Falls Without Reason"

• Complete World Quest "Another Horizon of Adventure"

Adds the Fontaine Fishing Association, where Travelers can exchange for new items here.

In addition, there will be new Fishing Points and "Radiant Spincrystals" in Fontaine.

II. New Characters

"Spectacle of Phantasmagoria" Lyney (Pyro) (5-Star)

◇ Vision: Pyro

◇ Weapon: Bow

◇ A famed Fontainian magician who possesses great stage presence as well as gift of the gab. Audiences are enthralled by his exquisite skills, and they hang on to his every clever word.

◆ Lyney can enter a special Charge Level 2 when he aims his shot, which, upon hitting a target, can summon a Grin-Malkin Hat that taunts nearby opponents. If Lyney's HP is above a certain level, his Charge Level 2 will consume some of his HP, and add one stack of Prop Surplus. When the Grin-Malkin Hat is destroyed, it can fire off a Pyrotechnic Strike at a nearby opponent, dealing Pyro DMG.

◆ Elemental Skill "Bewildering Lights"

◆ Clear all current Prop Surplus stacks, deal AoE Pyro DMG, and cause the Grin-Malkin Hat created by Lyney to explode, dealing AoE Pyro DMG. The DMG will be increased according to the stacks cleared, and this will also regenerate Lyney's HP.

◆ Elemental Burst "Wondrous Trick: Miracle Parade"

◆ Lyney turns himself into a Grin-Malkin Cat that can move around quickly, dealing Pyro DMG to opponents along the path. When the Grin-Malkin Cat's duration ends or is actively canceled, Lyney will ignite fireworks, deal AoE Pyro DMG, summon a Grin-Malkin Hat, and grant himself one Prop Surplus stack.

"Elegance in the Shadows" Lynette (Anemo) (4-Star)

◇ Vision: Anemo

◇ Weapon: Sword

◇ A magic assistant of few words, her emotions are as inscrutable as any cat's.

Elemental Skill "Enigmatic Feint"

◆ Lynette flicks her mantle and executes an Enigma Thrust, dealing Anemo DMG. When Holding this skill, Lynette will enter a high-speed Pilfering Shadow state and apply Shadowsign to a nearby opponent. When this high-speed state ends, Lynette will approach the opponent with Shadowsign applied and deal Anemo DMG.

◆ Elemental Burst "Magic Trick: Astonishing Shift"

◆ Deals AoE Anemo DMG and makes a giant Bogglecat Box appear. The Bogglecat Box taunts nearby opponents and deals Anemo DMG to nearby opponents as well. When it comes into contact with Hydro/Pyro/Cryo/Electro, it will gain the corresponding element and additionally fire Vivid Shots that will deal DMG from that element at intervals.

"Yearning for Unseen Depths" Freminet (Cryo) (4-Star)

◇ Vision: Cryo

◇ Weapon: Claymore

◇ A reserved young man who is well-versed in diving. Beneath his distant, icy demeanor lies a pure heart bereft of all flaws.

◆ Elemental Skill "Pressurized Floe"

◆ Causes Freminet to enter Pers Timer state. While Pers Timer is active, when Freminet uses Normal Attacks, he will also unleash waves of frost that deal Cryo DMG and increase Pers's Pressure Level. When Freminet uses his Elemental Skill again, he will execute different sorts of attacks that deals Cryo DMG and Physical DMG of different strengths based on the Pressure Level of Pers.

◆ Elemental Burst "Shadowhunter's Ambush"

◆ Deals AoE Cryo DMG, resets the CD of Pressurized Floe, and enters the Subnautical Hunter mode. In the Subnautical Hunter mode, Pressurized Floe will receive a CD decrease and Freminet's resistance to interruption will increase. Additionally, in this mode, the frost DMG of Freminet's Normal Attacks will be increased.

Traveler (Hydro) (5-Star)

◇ Interact with a Statue of The Seven - Hydro to resonate with the Hydro element, and use a new Elemental Skill and Elemental Burst.

◆ Elemental Skill "Aquacrest Saber"

◆ Unleashes a torrent that can cleanse the world. Pressing the skill sends a Torrent Surge forward that will deal Hydro DMG to opponents it comes into contact with. Hold this skill to enter Aiming Mode and constantly fire off Dewdrops in the direction in which you are aiming, dealing Hydro DMG to opponents they hit.

◆ Elemental Burst "Rising Waters"

◆ Unleashes a slow-moving floating bubble that deals continuous Hydro DMG to nearby opponents.

III. New Domains

Domain of Forgery: Echoes of the Deep Tides

◇ Legend speaks of a time in the distant past, when the Sovereign of the Waters had not yet returned from confinement, there was another God King who dreamed of building a prosperous empire out of harmonious music atop the waves. But the great ambition of building a utopia failed to come to fruition, and the arrogance of humanity sunk into their depths along with their pride. The golden melodies long silent, only the cold music of the tides still echoes upon the remains of their grand altars.

◇ Unlock Criteria (satisfy any one of the criteria below to unlock):

• Reach Adventure Rank 16 or above

• Complete Archon Quest Prologue: Act II "For a Tomorrow Without Tears"

◆ Challenge the Domain to obtain Weapon Ascension Materials.

Domain of Mastery: Pale Forgotten Glory

◇ In the past, the great white armada that traversed the seas was Fontaine's supreme pride and glory, for the Mistress of Rivers and Oceans blessed her people with the authority and wish to conquer all the waters of the world. However, this lofty ambition was insufficient to overcome the laws of fate. To this day, on the brass masts are inscribed the words: "I have conquered the waves of the four seas."

◇ Unlock Criteria (satisfy any one of the criteria below to unlock):

• Reach Adventure Rank 27 or above

Complete Archon Quest Chapter I: Act I "Of the Land Amidst Monoliths"

◆ Challenge the Domain to obtain Character Talent Materials.

Domain of Blessing: Denouement of Sin

◇ Legends say that the first Lochknight concealed themselves in the remote wilderness with the Lochfolk, intending to use self-exile and rigorous training in an attempt to repay a sin fated to be beyond redemption. Now the land has long returned to deathly silence, with the long, chill winds still blowing through the deserted valley.

◇ Unlock Criteria (satisfy any one of the criteria below to unlock):

• Reach Adventure Rank 22 or above

• Complete the Archon Quest "Prologue: Act III - Song of the Dragon and Freedom"

◆ Challenge the Domain to obtain artifacts in the "Marechaussee Hunter" and "Golden Troupe" sets.

IV. New Equipment

1. New Weapons (Examples based on Refinement Rank 1)

The First Great Magic (5-Star Bow)

DMG dealt by Charged Attacks increased by 16%. For every party member with the same Elemental Type as the wielder (including the wielder themselves), gain 1 Gimmick stack. For every party member with a different Elemental Type from the wielder, gain 1 Theatrics stack. When the wielder has 1/2/3 or more Gimmick stacks, ATK will be increased by 16%/32%/48%. When the wielder has 1/2/3 or more Theatrics stacks, Movement SPD will be increased by 4%/7%/10%.

◆ During the event wish "Epitome Invocation," the event-exclusive 5-star weapon The First Great Magic (Bow) will receive a huge drop-rate boost!

Fleuve Cendre Ferryman (4-Star Sword)

Increases Elemental Skill CRIT Rate by 8%. Additionally, increases Energy Recharge by 16% for 5s after using an Elemental Skill.

◆ You can exchange for Fleuve Cendre Ferryman (Sword) and its Refinement Material at the Fontaine Fishing Association.

▌Forgeable Weapons

Finale of the Deep (4-Star Sword)

When using an Elemental Skill, ATK will be increased by 12% for 15s, and a Bond of Life worth 25% of Max HP will be granted. This effect can be triggered once every 10s. When the Bond of Life is cleared, a maximum of 150 ATK will be gained based on 2.4% of the total amount of the Life Bond cleared, lasting for 15s.

※ Bond of Life: Absorbs healing for the character based on its base value, and clears after healing equal to this value is obtained.

Tidal Shadow (4-Star Claymore)

After the wielder is healed, ATK will be increased by 24% for 8s. This can be triggered even when the character is not on the field.

Rightful Reward (4-Star Polearm)

When the wielder is healed, restore 8 Energy. This effect can be triggered once every 10s, and can occur even when the character is not on the field.

Flowing Purity (4-Star Catalyst)

When using an Elemental Skill, All Elemental DMG Bonus will be increased by 8% for 15s, and a Bond of Life worth 24% of Max HP will be granted. This effect can be triggered once every 10s. When the Bond of Life is cleared, every 1,000 HP cleared in the process will provide 2% All Elemental DMG Bonus, up to a maximum of 12%. This effect lasts 15s.

※ Bond of Life: Absorbs healing for the character based on its base value, and clears after healing equal to this value is obtained.

Song of Stillness (4-Star Bow)

After the wielder is healed, they will deal 16% more DMG for 8s. This can be triggered even when the character is not on the field.

◆ You can exchange for Weapon Forging Blueprints from Estelle in the Court of Fontaine by consuming certain amounts and types of materials.

▌Battle Pass Weapons

Wolf-Fang (4-Star Sword)

DMG dealt by Elemental Skill and Elemental Burst will be increased by 16%. When an Elemental Skill hits an opponent, its CRIT Rate will be increased by 2%. When an Elemental Burst hits an opponent, its CRIT Rate will be increased by 2%. Both of these effects last 10s separately, have 4 max stacks, and can be triggered once every 0.1s.

Talking Stick (4-Star Claymore)

ATK will be increased by 16% for 15s after being affected by Pyro. This effect can be triggered once every 12s. All Elemental DMG Bonus will be increased by 12% for 15s after being affected by Hydro, Cryo, Electro, or Dendro. This effect can be triggered once every 12s.

Ballad of the Fjords (4-Star Polearm)

When there are at least 3 different Elemental Types in your party, Elemental Mastery will be increased by 120.

Sacrificial Jade (4-Star Catalyst)

When not on the field for more than 5s, Max HP will be increased by 32% and Elemental Mastery will be increased by 40. These effects will be canceled after the wielder has been on the field for 10s.

Scion of the Blazing Sun (4-Star Bow)

After a Charged Attack hits an opponent, a Sunfire Arrow will descend upon the opponent hit, dealing 60% ATK as DMG, and applying the Heartsearer effect to the opponent damaged by said Arrow for 10s. Opponents affected by Heartsearer take 28% more Charged Attack DMG from the wielder. A Sunfire Arrow can be triggered once every 10s.

◆ The abovementioned Battle Pass weapons will be included in the BP Bounty in Version 4.0. Weapons in the current BP Bounty — The Black Sword (Sword), Serpent Spine (Claymore), Deathmatch (Polearm), Solar Pearl (Catalyst), and The Viridescent Hunt (Bow) — will still be available in the BP Bounty after the Version 4.0 update.

2. New Artifacts

Marechaussee Hunter (4-Star and 5-Star)

◇ 2-Piece Set: Normal and Charged Attack DMG +15%.

◇ 4-Piece Set: When current HP increases or decreases, CRIT Rate will be increased by 12% for 5s. Max 3 stacks.

Golden Troupe (4-Star and 5-Star)

◇ 2-Piece Set: Increases Elemental Skill DMG by 20%.

◇ 4-Piece Set: Increases Elemental Skill DMG by 25%. Additionally, when not on the field, Elemental Skill DMG will be further increased by 25%. This effect will be cleared 2s after taking the field.

V. New Main Story

1. New Archon Quest

Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act I "Prelude of Blancheur and Noirceur"

◆ Quest Unlock Criteria:

• Reach Adventure Rank 40 or above

• Complete Archon Quest Chapter III: Act VI "Caribert"

Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act II "As Light Rain Falls Without Reason"

◆ Quest Unlock Criteria:

• Reach Adventure Rank 40 or above

• Complete Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act I "Prelude of Blancheur and Noirceur"

◇ After the Version 4.0 update, Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act I "Prelude of Blancheur and Noirceur" and Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act II "As Light Rain Falls Without Reason" will be permanently available

2. New Story Quest

Lyney's Story Quest - Felis Fuscus Chapter: Act I "The Forgotten Thief"

Permanently available after the Version 4.0 update

◆ Quest Unlock Criteria:

• Reach Adventure Rank 40 or above

• Complete Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act II "As Light Rain Falls Without Reason"

3. New World Quests

◆ New World Quests: "Ann of the Narzissenkreuz" Quest Chain, "Ancient Colors" Quest Chain, "Aqueous Tidemarks," "Book of Esoteric Revelations," "Hey, This Isn't Pumpkin Soup...," "Another Horizon of Adventure," "Danger Lurks Everywhere in Fontaine," "In Expert Company? (I)," "In Expert Company? (II)," "A Certain Notice," "A Certain Trifle," "A Certain Stamp," "The Fountain Flows Again," etc.

VI. New Enemies

Icewind Suite

◇ A gift from the Fontaine Research Institute, it is composed of two pieces, Dirge of Coppelia and Nemesis of Coppelius.

At the climax of the performance, Coppelia will halt at the center of the dance floor and expose her spare clockwork component charged with ousia or pneuma, thereby drastically increasing the efficiency of her exertions. During this phase, extinguishing this energy by attacking with the opposing source will overload her, thus progressing the performance.

Located in the Court of Fontaine Region

Emperor of Fire and Iron

◇ An Armored Crablord that has survived for countless eons and surpassed almost all other Fontemer Aberrants.

The twin molten horns located high up on its body are Pyro-aligned organs that can unleash more vicious elemental attacks and grant it even stronger defensive capabilities. When the Armored Crablord unleashes certain attacks, its twin molten horns are closer to the ground. This provides for a great opportunity to use Elemental Reactions to remove the Pyro element within.

Located in the Belleau Region

Shatterstone Breacher Primus, Large Shatterstone Breacher Primus, Overgrown Breacher Primus, and Large Overgrown Breacher Primus

◇ Strange life forms that share nothing in common with any other land-dwelling creature.

In battle, they will enter a stressed state and unleash fierce attacks while under the protection of a Geo or Dendro shield. If the shield is broken during this period, it will cause the life forms to fall into a paralyzed state. Aside from the usual methods of using Elemental Reactions, attacks imbued with ousia and pneuma can also efficiently pierce the defenses of the Breacher Primuses.

Recon Log Mek, Arithmetic Enhancer Mek, Underwater Survey Mek, Underwater Patrol Mek, Geological Survey Mek, Nimble Harvester Mek, Area Alert Mek, Assault Specialist Mek, Suppression Specialist Mek, Annihilation Specialist Mek, Construction Specialist Mek.

◇ Machines created from the union between Fontaine's intricate device and special energy technologies.

Based on whether they are exhibiting ousia or pneuma energy signatures, they will operate differently in battle. When these energies are extinguished upon being attacked by its opposing energy source, it will induce an Overloaded state and cause them to lose energy, weakening their combat capabilities.

Blubberbeast, Hunter's Ray, Armored Crab, Hat Jellyfish, Bubbly Seahorse, Ball Octopus, Angelic Sea Hare, Sternshield Crab, Bubbler Seahorse, Cherubic Sea Hare

◇ Aquatic life forms that have embarked on a unique evolutionary track due to Fontaine's environmental factors.

Some of them are more aggressive and can unleash fiercer elemental attacks and possess even stronger defensive capabilities. If you use Elemental Reactions to remove their Elemental Shields, things should be easier to handle.

Tainted Water-Splitting Phantasm, Tainted Water-Spouting Phantasm

◇ Today, with the Oceanids extirpated from Fontaine, strange elemental life forms have appeared in the waters.

Enter stress state in combat and retaliate violently.

VII. Other Update Details

New Recipes:

○ Hotel Debord, Fontaine: Duck Confit, Cream of Mushroom Soup, Fontaine Aspic, Lasagna, Poisson Seafood Soup, and Fontainian Foie Gras.

○ Louis (NPC): Garlic Baguette, Fontainian Onion Soup, Fish and Chips, and Pate de Fruit.

○ Arouet (NPC): Ile flottante and Conch Madeleine.

○ World Quest Rewards: Tasses Ragout and Poissonchant Pie.

○ Fontaine Reputation System Reward: Steak Tartare, Fruity Trio, and Vessie Chicken.

○ Event Rewards: Fruity Smoothie and Fruity Duet.

New Character Specialty Dishes:

○ Lyney's specialty: Cubic Tricks

○ Lynette's specialty: A Leisurely Sip

○ Freminet's specialty: Seabird's Sojourn

New Achievement categories such as "Mortal Travails: Series IV," "Meetings in Outrealm: Series IV," "Fontaine: Dance of the Dew-White Springs (I)," and new Achievements added to the "Wonders of the World" category.

Adds some prompts for loading screens.

New Namecards:

"Lyney: Pretense": Reward for reaching Friendship Lv. 10 with Lyney

"Lynette: Earnestness": Reward for reaching Friendship Lv. 10 with Lynette

"Freminet: Progress": Reward for reaching Friendship Lv. 10 with Freminet

"Fontaine: Judgment": Reward for completing all achievements under "Fontaine: Dance of the Dew-White Springs (I)"

"Achievement: Orbits": Reward for completing all achievements under "Meetings in Outrealm: Series IV"

"Achievement: Mariner": Reward for completing all achievements under "Mortal Travails: Series IV"

"Fontaine: Wondrous Machine": Reward for reaching Reputation Lv. 4 (Fontaine)

"Fontaine: Big News": Reward for reaching Reputation Lv. 8 (Fontaine)

"Travel Notes: Primordial Waters": Reward obtained via the BP system

New Fontaine Reputation Reward Gadgets: Hydroculus Resonance Stone, Hydro Treasure Compass, Wind-Powered Wind Generator, and Crystalfly Trap.

Wind-Powered Wind Generator: Creates a temporary Wind Current in flight.

Crystalfly Trap: Consume a certain amount of Forging Ore to deploy. It will automatically capture Crystalflies when deployed in the open world. You can collect Crystal Core from it 7 days after deployment.

Adds some of the Harvestable seeds from Fontaine to the Seed Dispensary.

Inventory - Destroy Interface: 4-Star Artifacts can now be auto-added.

Increases Inventory limit for Artifacts from 1,500 to 1,800.

Adds Fontaine-related text into Midlander Billet origin descriptions.

Another 8 sets of Artifacts are available to exchange in the Mystic Offering system: Artifact Strongbox: Tenacity of the Millelith, Artifact Strongbox: Pale Flame, Artifact Strongbox: Shimenawa's Reminiscence, Artifact Strongbox: Emblem of Severed Fate, Artifact Strongbox: Husk of Opulent Dreams, Artifact Strongbox: Ocean-Hued Clam, Artifact Strongbox: Vermillion Hereafter, and Artifact Strongbox: Echoes of an Offering.

New Animals: Snow-Winged Goose, Darkwing Goose, Flatcrest Fulmar, Violetgold Angler Gull, Slate Umbrellafinch, Burgundy Umbrellafinch, Magenta Fantail Pigeon, Viridian Fantail Pigeon, Redcrown Finch, Bluecrown Finch, Chestnut Hunting Hound, Glittergray Hunting Hound, Amber Hunting Hound, Hydro Crystalfly, Leisurely Otter, Lady Poodle, Guard Poodle, and Gentleman Poodle.

New Fish: Streaming Axe Marlin, Rippling Heartfeather Bass, Blazing Heartfeather Bass, Maintenance Mek: Initial Configuration, Maintenance Mek: Water Body Cleaner, Maintenance Mek: Situation Controller, Maintenance Mek: Platinum Collection.

The Maintenance Mek can be converted to specific kinds of Character and Weapon Enhancement Materials at the Crafting Bench.

Adds Set 25 of "Paimon's Paintings" chat emojis.

New Function: Multi-Layered Map in the map interface.

New functions in the Party Setup Screen:

(1) Characters' entrance and idle animations

(2) In Settings > Other, you may decide whether "the background of the Party Setup Screen will change based on your current region." If this option is enabled, the Party Setup Screen will change based on your current region.

Gyroscope is now supported on the platforms below:

PC：DualSense™ Wireless Controller, DUALSHOCK®4 Wireless Controller

PS4™：DUALSHOCK®4 Wireless Controller

PS5™：DualSense™ Wireless Controller, DualSense Edge™ Wireless Controller

※ Travelers can find the Gyroscope settings in Settings > Controls while using a Controller to play.

Adds Global Illumination on PlayStation® and will automatically be in effect after the Version update.

Adds Global Illumination on PC devices with a Discrete Graphics Card with a VRAM of 4 GB or more. Travelers may enable it via Settings > Graphics.

It is recommended for Travelers on PC devices to enable this option when your PC specifications are above the minimum specifications below:

● Minimum Specifications for Global Illumination:

Operating System: Windows 10 64-bit

Processor: 9th Generation Intel® Core i5™-9400F or equivalent

Discrete Graphics Card: NVIDIA® GeForce® GT 1050 Ti or equivalent

VRAM: 4 GB or more

RAM: 16 GB or more

"Genius Invokation TCG" Gameplay Update:

New Character Cards: Qiqi, Lisa, and Albedo, and their corresponding Talent cards

New invitation duels and guest challenges added to the Player List.

New Action Cards: King's Squire, Golden House, Setaria, Where Is the Unseen Razor?, Joyous Celebration.

Adds the "Observe Duel" function:

(1) When a friend is in a Genius Invokation TCG duel in Single-Player Mode, you can see this on the Friends interface and observe their game in progress (if this friend is in Co-Op mode, you must first enter their world).

(2) In Co-Op Mode, if your teammate is in a Genius Invokation TCG duel, you can see this on the Co-Op mode interface and observe their game in progress.

(3) In Co-Op Mode, if two of your teammates are in a Genius Invokation Duel through team invitation, you can observe the duel in progress and see both parties' cards and Elemental Dice.

(4) You can respectively allow your friends or teammates in Co-Op Mode to observe your duels or forbid them to do so via Settings in the Genius Invokation TCG duels.

(5) When you are in a Genius Invokation TCG duel, you can select specific observers and remove them from the observers list.

Spiral Abyss

The "Nymph's Dream" and "Vourukasha's Glow" Artifact set rewards in "Domain Reliquary: Tier I," and "Domain Reliquary: Tier II" for Spiral Abyss Floors 9–12 will be replaced with the "Marechaussee Hunter" and the "Golden Troupe" sets.

Floor 9 Ley Line Disorder changed to:

• After a character triggers a Vaporize reaction, the Vaporize reaction DMG for that character is increased by 50% for 5s.

Floor 10 Ley Line Disorder changed to:

• Character deals 50% increased DMG to opponents affected by Hydro.

Floor 11 Ley Line Disorders changed to:

• All characters in the party gain a 60% Pyro DMG Bonus.

• All characters in the party gain a 60% Hydro DMG Bonus.

Updated the monster lineup on Floors 9 – 12 of the Spiral Abyss.

Starting from the first time that the Lunar Phase refreshes after updating to Version 4.0, the two Lunar Phases will be as follows:

Phase I:

Keen Moon

When a character recovers HP, that character gains 10% increased ATK for 10s. Max 3 stacks. Each stack will be counted independently. When a character loses HP, that character gains 40 Elemental Mastery for 10s. Max 3 stacks. Each stack will be counted independently. The effects from recovering and losing HP are independent from each other, and stacks are counted independently.

Phase II:

Gyrating Moon

When a character recovers or loses HP, that character gains 40% increased All Elemental and Physical DMG Bonus for 3s.

※ The above Spiral Abyss update will take effect from September 1 at 04:00 (Server Time).

〓Adjustments & Optimizations〓

● System

Adds the function to view artworks of "Enemies of Note" in Archive > Living Beings > Enemies and Monsters.

Adjusts the mission objectives of the different phases of the "Stellar Reunion" event and reduces the difficulty of missions. The total score obtainable during the event remains unchanged (this adjustment applies to Travelers who activate "Stellar Reunion" after the Version 4.0 update).

Optimizes selection logic in the Artifacts and Weapons interface: after selecting an Artifact or Weapon to view or enhance, when returning to the previous interface, the Artifact or Weapon you initially viewed or enhanced will automatically be selected.

Adjusts the number of Teleport Waypoints required to unlock the achievement "Descending Into the Depths of Desolation." The original total number of Teleport Waypoints required to be unlocked is 16, and is now adjusted to 18 (if the achievement has been completed, the completion status of the achievement remains unchanged).

● Genius Invokation TCG

Adjusts the reward rules and reward display for Genius Invokation TCG: Heated Battle Mode. For each of the first 3 games you complete, you can receive 1,000 Lucky Coins (a maximum of 3,000 Lucky Coins can be obtained ).

● Audio

Optimizes certain interface sound effects in "Genius Invokation TCG" matches.

Optimizes the Korean and English voice lines for some quests.

Optimizes the character sprinting sound effects.

Optimizes certain interface sound effects when using the controller.

●Other

Optimizes the display accuracy of the Wind Glider on mobile devices.

〓Genius Invokation TCG Balance Adjustment〓

Adjusts the cost of Elemental Dice required for Support Card "Jade Chamber": the Elemental Dice cost required will be adjusted from 1 to 0.

Adjusts the cost of Elemental Dice required for Equipment Cards "Broken Rime's Echo," "Wine-Stained Tricorne," "Witch's Scorching Hat," "Thunder Summoner's Crown," "Viridescent Venerer's Diadem," "Mask of Solitude Basalt," "Laurel Coronet," "Capricious Visage," and "Thundering Poise": the Elemental Dice cost required will be adjusted from 2 Dice of the same element to 2 Dice of any element.

Adjusts the cost of Elemental Dice required for Equipment Cards "Blizzard Strayer," "Heart of Depth," "Crimson Witch of Flames," "Thundering Fury," "Viridescent Venerer," "Archaic Petra," and "Deepwood Memories": the Elemental Dice cost required will be adjusted from 3 Dice of any element to 2 Dice of the same element.

Adjusts the cost of Elemental Dice required for Equipment Cards "Vermillion Hereafter" and "Shimenawa's Reminiscence": the Elemental Dice cost required will be adjusted from 3 Dice of the same element to 3 Dice of any element.

Adjusts the cost of Elemental Dice required for Equipment Card "Ornate Kabuto": the Elemental Dice cost required will be adjusted from 2 Dice of any element to 1 Elemental Dice.

Adjusts the cost of Elemental Dice required for Equipment Card "Emblem of Severed Fate": the Elemental Dice cost required will be adjusted from 3 Dice of any element to 2 Dice of the same element.

Adjusts the effect of the Event Card "Thunder and Eternity": this Event Card can now convert all of your Elemental Dice into the Omni Element.

Adjusts the effect of the Event Card "I Haven't Lost Yet!": this Event Card can only be used once per Round.

〓Version Update Known Issue〓

There is an issue in Genius Invokation TCG whereby when you have 0 Elemental Dice before the Action Phase begins, you would still be able to abnormally play the Event Card "Covenant of Rock" due to the Omni Element generated by the Equipment Card "Gambler's Earrings" after the Action Phase begins. (Under normal conditions, "Covenant of Rock" will not be playable as you have more than 0 Elemental Dice at this time.) This issue is scheduled to be fixed in Version 4.1.

There is an issue whereby some enemies in the water and some characters in swimming mode are unable to take DMG from Electro-Charged Reactions in certain water bodies. This issue is scheduled to be fixed in Version 4.1.

〓Bug Fixes〓

● Quests

Fixes an issue with the Story Quest "Where Lies the Path Home" whereby Nahida's location was abnormal.

Fixes an issue whereby there was the possibility of encountering repeated options or objectives when carrying out the Commission Quests "The Gourmet Supremos: Foodie Quiz," "Good Sign," or "Akademiya Q&A."

Fixes an issue with the World Quest "Garcia's Paean: A Gift of Compatibility" whereby there was a small probability of abnormally triggering character teleports and the NPC Kaia may erroneously disappear.

Fixes an issue whereby the objective "Follow Kaeya" in Kaeya's Hangout Event is unable to be completed under certain circumstances.

● Enemies

Fixes an issue whereby the Boss "Guardian of Apep's Oasis's" aftershocks of the apocalypse attack could not deal DMG to some characters under certain conditions.

Fixes an issue whereby some special effects of the Boss "Stormterror" would abnormally disappear under certain conditions.

Fixes an issue whereby the opponent "Abyss Herald: Frost Fall" had a small probability of not regenerating HP normally when leaving combat.

Fixes an issue that prevented the enemy "Iniquitous Baptist" from generating a shield after unleashing the Elemental Ring ability under certain circumstances.

Fixes an issue that caused the enemy "Cryo Samachurl" to not fall off properly after his ice pillar was destroyed.

● Characters

Fixes an issue that prevented Lumine from quickly performing the 1st hit of her Normal Attack and Charged Attack after performing the 5th hit of her Normal Attack.

Fixes an issue whereby there was a chance that Icewhirl Brand generated by holding Eula's Elemental Skill would fail to deal DMG to target enemies.

Fixes an issue whereby after adding Nahida to the party for the first time, holding the Elemental Skill could cause the character and camera to be positioned abnormally.

Fixes an issue whereby when the Frostflake Seki no To released by Kamisato Ayaka's Elemental Burst was blocked, it had a small probability of not dealing DMG even if it hit enemies.

Fixes an issue on mobile whereby when some characters sit on a high-legged stool, the character model would display abnormally.

Fixes an issue whereby Fischl would stand on water abnormally after casting an Elemental Burst under certain conditions.

Fixes an issue whereby under certain circumstances, some characters may trigger the special effects of water ripples while walking on land.

● System

Fixes an issue that caused a white line to appear abnormally on Yaoyao's Constellations interface.

Fixes an issue whereby in the Character interface, when switching from Ganyu's interface to multiple secondary interfaces (such as Talents, Artifacts, or Weapons), there was a chance that the character movements could be incorrect.

Fixes an issue whereby the pre-selected Conversion material selection state would be reset when using a controller to carry out conversion with the Crafting Bench.

Fixes an issue that caused the maximum number of Weapons or Artifacts that can be selected (by dragging them) in the Inventory to be displayed incorrectly under certain circumstances.

● Genius Invokation TCG

Fixes an issue in Genius Invokation TCG whereby when the Character Card "Eula" gains Grimheart, the DMG value indicated in the Elemental Skill description will be abnormally stated as "Deals 4 Cryo DMG" (the actual DMG dealt is as intended, and is 5 Cryo DMG).

● Audio

Fixes an issue whereby the audio effects of some quests were not controlled by the voice-over settings in the game.

● Other

Fixes an issue whereby Sorush could switch to other characters abnormally when flying under certain conditions.

Fixes an issue whereby the grass in the landscape was not displayed correctly under certain conditions.

Fixes an issue that caused flying birds to abnormally fall under certain conditions.

Fixes some text errors in certain languages and optimizes text. (Note: Related in-game functions have not changed. Travelers can view the changes in different languages by going to the Paimon Menu > Settings > Language and changing the Game Language.)

Text-related fixes and optimizations in English include:

◆ Unified the term "Hilichurl Shooters."

◆ Optimized some inconsistencies between certain voice-over lines and what is displayed in Archon Quests, Story Quests, and World Quests.

◆ Optimized certain UI of the Serenitea Pot.

◆ Optimized the text in certain Namecards.

*This is a work of fiction and is not related to any actual people, events, groups, or organizations.

"PlayStation", "PS5", "PS4", "DualSense", "DUALSHOCK" are registered trademarks or trademarks of Sony Interactive Entertainment Inc.

#genshin impact #genshin impact updates #genshin impact news #official #genshin impact 4.0 #damn this took forever. that's enough catching up for tonight i think

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k1nky-r0b0t-g1rl · 5 months

Note

Free use android girlfriend but you play with her power button constantly. She gets angry or overwhelmed, shut her off for a bit. She's tired but refuses to rest? Shut her off. You get horny but also a bit devious, start going at it and periodically shut her down just to mess with her. Jacking her off and just as she starts to cum, shut her off. Or alternatively, have her off while fucking her and turn her back on just so she can see you using her to make yourself cum and immediately shutting her back off

i love and cherish her

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octopodeez · 4 months

Text

Hear me out…

Technologically Inept Zoro

Obviously he’s constantly slicing his finger on the broken screen of his android

What the FUCK is a pdf?

Cannot touch an electronic without mumbling “how do you work this fucking thing”

Takes him four hours to turn on the tv bc one button turns on the power but one button only turns on the sound and wait now there’s no sound at all, why did the fucking input just change, how do i get out of tubi

Why use a nav when he can just print a mapquest

Has a meltdown any time even one thing changes w a phone update

Tries to take shirtless selfies at the gym but can’t figure out how to turn the flash off

Phone always at 4%

(Masterlist ❤️)

#zoro #roronoa zoro #one piece #one piece headcanon #au #one piece au #modern!au #one piece modern au #zoro modern au

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bts-hyperfixation · 2 months

Text

Sensual Synthetics

Tired of your family getting on at you for not having a partner, you drunkenly lament to Taehyung. Your friend suggests you purchase an escort android through his favourite service.

Chapter 1

Chapter Two

Taehyung doesn't return your call for a couple of days.

In the meantime, you and Jimin have fallen into a bit of a routine. He awoke you each morning with an enticing breakfast, seemingly favouring baked goods. After the first two days, you allowed him to go grocery shopping for you to buy necessities. Apparently, he thought necessities meant baking supplies. Not that you were complaining as you munched on perfectly prepared croissants and tarts.

Then he would clean up after himself and try to busy himself with other tasks he thought could be of use. The first couple of days this was useful, like organising your bookshelves and cleaning the blinds. Lately though, he had turned to sorting buttons in your craft drawer and unstuffing and restuffing cushions, anything to keep his idle hands busy when you couldn't think of anything.

If there really was nothing he would pop himself back into the charging pod and power down for a little while. You took this time to look at him shamelessly. While you were definitely becoming more comfortable with his presence, it was still bizarre to see him when he was charging. His eyes revert to their original blue, reminding you of what he really is.

It's almost easy to forget he isn't real when he is working around the house, but moments like this force you back into the reality of who he is... what he is.

Taehyung calls just as your fingers itch towards the lock to wake Jimin up, shocking you out of your thoughts.

"Good afternoon beautiful, I see you tried to call me?" He asks as soon as you answer.

"I tried to call you a week ago asshole..." You point out rolling your eyes.

"Well, I thought I'd give you time to get accustomed to your new lover, didn't realise you would miss me so much so quickly. Do I need to come around and teach robo boy had to keep you... satisfied,"

You can tell by the tone of his voice that he is waggling his eyebrows at the microphone. You contemplate hanging up the phone, but that won't answer any of the questions you have so you resign yourself to a little more teasing. He doesn't disappoint, wasting another few minutes on all the android puns and innuendos he can think of, some of which begrudgingly make you giggle.

"Are you quite finished?" You ask when he finally takes a breath

He goes silent for a moment before confirming he is in fact finished.

"Wonderful, now on to the reason I called. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with him." You admit.

"Well, I'm sure I just gave you some very colourful suggestions."

"Yeah, no, I'm not at all comfortable with that. But like on a regular day-to-day basis, there are only so many things he can do. My house has never been cleaner or more organised and if I leave him charging any longer his batteries are going to break." You lament.

"Then give him a hobby. They can learn new skills reasonably quickly. Or use him for more personal matters. If you're really going to be that uptight about the sex thing then you can always do other things like massages and cuddling, they make great pillows. Also if you really intend to take him to a family function does he know anything about your family yet?" He suggests

"No, I guess not. That's a pretty good idea, I should prepare him to meet my mother. Thanks Tae,"

"You're welcome princess, I'll talk to you soon okay?"

"See you soon," You hang up and toss the phone on the couch.

You spend the next half an hour coming up with all of the information Jimin might possibly need to know in order to survive your family.

Finally ready, and satisfied you'll have something to talk to him about, you open the latch on Jimin's pod and release him back into the world.

"Hello Y/N-ah," He smiles and his cheeks pinch up, almost erasing his eyes completely. "Are you having a good day?" He asks cheerfully.

"Yeah, I mean a pretty average day..." You answer with much less enthusiasm.

"How may I be of service to you?"

"Well, I thought we should talk about the real reason I ordered you in the first place."

"Great, I was wondering why you had hired me. Obviously, I am thrilled to be here, but you seem uncertain." He comments.

You lead him over to the sofa and produce a notebook full of information for him to read. He flips through the pages instantly taking in the information and then waits patiently for you to speak. You relay the conversation you'd had with your mother and how it was an ongoing issue within your family. You didn't mean to go into quite as much detail as you do but you can't stop yourself from monologuing your frustration when you realise what an enraptured audience you have.

He listens intently, offering nods and noises of affirmation in places he deems appropriate. When you do finally calm down he weighs up the information you gave him in order to relay his mission back to you.

"So, if I understood correctly, I was drunkenly purchased to serve as a boyfriend figure to appease your family at an upcoming family gathering?" He questions.

You blush at his use of the word 'drunkenly', but it's not exactly untrue.

"Your mother sounds as if she may be the hardest to please. However, the tone you used to describe your cousins suggests that they are the people you would like to impress the most." He states as if it's obvious.

You don't remember even suggesting any of this was for their benefit. Jimin must see the confusion on your face and clarifies.

"The octave of your voice went a few notches higher, suggesting discomfort when you spoke of them and their relationships. It made it seem as though you might want to show off for them. Am I wrong in my assumption?"

You think about it for a moment.

"I guess you aren't. It would be nice to not be labelled as the single cousin for once," You think.

"Noted. Now I think I have enough information to 'survive' your family as you have put it. But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"If I am to act in place of a partner, I should know more about you right? I don't think your family will be impressed if I only know the order of the socks in your drawer and how you like your shirts ironed," He points out as if the thought should've been obvious.

And maybe it should've been.

"I'm not sure where to start with information about me. Normally when you date someone the information comes out naturally on dates, you know by spending time together?"

"Then perhaps we should go on a date! That sounds like the best way for me to get to know you, and from what I know they sound like fun!"

"You can have fun?" You state, confused.

"I can experience many emotions," He nods.

"Seems like there might be a lot for me to learn about you too, maybe a date's not a bad idea after all..."

________________________________

Your date ends up being a walk around the neighbourhood.

You show Jimin the area you live in and he listens to each anecdote you tell him as if they are the most interesting stories he has ever heard. In return he occasionally talks about aspects of human life he has thought about and researched in the time you've left him to be by himself.

You feel a little guilty for all his free time when you realise one of those emotions he can feel is boredom, but he reassures you that he finds ways to occupy himself by searching the web while he is idle, much like a human would.

He talks about the things he has researched with such passion that you forget these interests have existed for only a few weeks and not an entire lived lifetime.

You don't notice when his hand slips into yours as you lean towards the duck pond, your arms swinging together as you continue through the parkland around the corner from your apartment.

"So, is this a typical date activity? The articles I scanned suggested we share a meal or maybe watch something?"

"Sometimes people go to restaurants or the cinema... Dates tend to take a lot of different forms. I like this, it's low commitment." You shrug.

"Low commitment? But we already live together, I was under the impression that was very committed"

You blush and stutter for a response, only to turn and find him chuckling at you.

"You're not funny," You nudge against his shoulder.

"Your clearly flustered response suggests otherwise." He notes, studying you.

"Shut up, it does not..." You grumble.

"Oh? Am I wrong? Then perhaps my programming needs an update?"

He looks puzzled that his joke didn't land and you just shake your head smiling fondly.

"Come on, I think it's time to head home I still have some work I need to complete today."

He nods and pulls you by the hand, leading you a much faster way back to the apartment that you had never seen before.

Masterlist

#jimin fic #jimin smut #bts fic #bts smut #android jimin #robot jimin #android au

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