#and yeah fuck tumblr for being the way it is
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I went viral on instagram for being a Pro-shipper
Before I even knew what a pro-shipper was.
Around this time last year I had just gotten back to the states from being in Japan for 3-ish months. I posted a reel jokingly showing off some of the BL Manga that I had bought during my stay.
In the video I showed Volume one of Yarachin Slut club and volume one of Hitorijime, my hero.
If you don’t know these series. Yarachin is about a group of boys who run a high school sex club it also has various degrees of dubcon and gang rape. The other deposits an age gap relationship teacher/student.
The reel where I showed these manga went viral on the wrong side of the internet and In 2 months my instagram received over 80,000,000 views across all my reels and I’m averaging at this current moment 10-20,000,000 views a month.
the comments I was receiving and have been receiving since are beyond words.
Some examples of what the more tame comments
And if you think the comments are bad (not shown are the hundreds of comments telling me I’m not trans or gay, that I’m a cis woman pretending to be queer to garner support from the queer community, misgendering and deadnaming me, threading to dox me/send my address/personal info to people via DMs. Not to mention the newest group of people who found out I have a dead sibling and are using that as a way to attack me now as well. My DMs are also terrible.
These people are mad about two volumes of manga. Manga I bought in a brick and mortar store in Japan. Manga that have official anime adaptations.
They are calling a manga you can currently buy at Barnes and Nobel child p*rn and calling me a p*dip hole becuase i own it.
I don’t know what the point of this post is really, I’ve come back to tumblr and realize the entire internet does not in fact hate me, and people on here actually can logically think about things like this not in black and white.
Am I a pro shipper?
I’ve heard if the term, I’ve seen it around and always thought It was for extreme niche interests in fanfic, fictional media and general fictional content that I don’t particularly find myself reading or interacting with ever.
But then I looked into it after being called it 1000000 times a day on my social media and I relaxed it’s not about normalizing incestfics or spreading niche fan art around tags like antis would have you believe. At the end of the day it’s a group of people online with a very punk aligned mentality that censorship is wrong. Fiction is a place for self expression and understand that fiction is fiction. It’s not about individual tags on a03 or black butler ships. It’s about the freedom to express yourself thought fucking fiction. Weather it be to cope with trauma, or to just get some fucking weird feelings you are having out on paper through fanfciton, through projecting into a character from media you like.
I’m not big with labels, so I’m not a “proshipper” but I’m on their side, because it’s the right side.
You can argue all you want it’s not, that they are “horrible people” for the fictional media they consume. But the opposite side is literally telling me to “slit vertically” on a daily basis. You are no better than the people you hate.
Anywho, yeah. Going viral sucks.
#proshipper safe#proshippers please interact#proship#anti censorship#anti anti#antis dni#shipping discourse#boy love#age gap ship
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oh hey btw i’m the lazarus pit religious symbolism anon and forgive my confusing wording initially because i specifically had this thought of “huh that’s eerily like a really fucked up version of baptism” and then “wow my beloved tumblr idol would love this”
'my beloved tumblr idol' no one has ever referred to me as anything more flattering on this website, i actually love you anon. and ur right i do love this idea
but also most definitely it's really just a fucked up version of baptism depending on how you look at it. i think it works really well considering jason's experience with the lazarus pits. however it's a bit harder of an idea to push if you look outside of that, in general + with ra's' usage specifically. i don't see the same connections in that as i do with jason.
i'm very intrigued by the ex-catholic jason todd headcanons that occasionally pop up on my dash, which make me appreciate the religious symbolism in lazarus pits even more for him.
the whole 'cleansing of sin' aspect of baptism sticks out to me, with the lazarus pit correlation being the state jason came back in, unscathed and replenished. just as one exits a baptism ridded of previous sins, jason had every physical reminder of his mistakes removed. as one's baptism is a commitment to being 'a cleansed man', jason's revival was his commitment to this new version of himself, so different from anyone he's ever been.
i also enjoy the contrast between baptism essentially being a public declaration of one's connection to christ, and jason's dunk in the lazarus pit being the exact point in time in which he severs his connection to bruce as a son, and stops seeing him as a role model. he leaves his robin identity behind, as well as the child he was before, everything about him that had ever admired any part of bruce.
there's a lot of fucked up (/pos) connections people make between a god and bruce, in jason's eyes (this post comes to mind), so there's also that. specifically i really enjoy the concept of jason always seeing bruce as this 'all-knowing, all-powerful god of the night', until he lets him down for the first time, in death. i'd like to say after that he sees him as more of a mortal, but i honestly don't think he does. he sees himself with more mortality, and pushes that idea even further away from bruce, because anyone who's even a tenth of the human jason is would be a better man.
so yeah. lazarus pits + religious imagery in the closest but also furthest way possible. i also have very complicated thoughts about similarities between jason and lazarus himself, as well as sylvia plath's 'lady lazarus', but that's for another post...
#i call this one 'i have the inability to talk about anything without dragging jason into it'#asks#anon#!!!!!!#lazarus pit#dc comics#dcu#dc#jason todd#red hood#robin#bruce wayne#batman#dc batman#gothihop speaks
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I'm a fan of a certain shōnen manga/anime that isn't terribly popular on Tumblr, which is why I also have a reddit account to participate in the relevant subreddit. It's also not a very big thing there, a day or two can go without a new post, and the sort of discussion that arises is obviously somewhat different than that on Tumblr, but something happened last week (and again this week) that I just have to share.
Somebody made a post about how much they disliked this one particular character because she's just so annoying and ugh they hate her every appearance! How can anyone like such a character?! The character in question is a minor antagonist who shows up about halfway through, with a clear character flaw or two (definitely a bit annoying!), and who undergoes character growth later on, but the OP in question had clearly not read that far/only watched the anime which ends much sooner.
Point is, I fucking dreaded clicking that thread--but I did nevertheless, ready to fight for my life in the comments defending her.
...Except that I didn't have to. Sure, there were a couple of comments agreeing with the OP, but they were all disliked until they were negative. The other comments were all arguing with the OP, pointing out a bunch of different things, including, but not limited to:
Since when are we not allowed to like antagonists/villains? (Plus: she's actually a very good antagonist if you think about it, which is why she's great!)
There's plenty of other (male) characters who are just as annoying or even more in different ways (And we like them just fine, so why not her?)
She's just like me, which is why I like her
She's very realistic/she's just being a teenager/I like that she's behaving like a typical 16-years-old, everybody else is too calm
Yeah she's annoying now but her character development is great, I love her
And so on. I was very, very pleasently surprised, especially when another thread with roughly the same idea but by a different person showed up this week, and got basically the same response.
Idk if this is just fans perceiving any sort of attack on a character as an attack on the series as a whole and rushing to defence due to that, and I don't particularly care. Or if my standards are too low ...
Nah, I'm just going to enjoy this. Hope something nice happens to you too!
--
:)
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PSA Research is nice and necessary for good writing but you don’t need to become an expert on everything
A lot of stuff that actually exists irl sounds like it was created by an author who knew nothing about the topic and didn’t even try to write it in at least a somewhat believable way anyway.
Like the ministry of finance’s jamming transmitters to prevent leakage of classified information being placed not around the archives and the vault but only in the cafeteria for example.
Author really went “Ah yes I need another obstacle for when MC hides from the night guards that prevents them from calling help. But I also need space for the fight scene. Let’s put jamming transmitters in the cafeteria. Yeah that’ll do it.”
And that’s realistic because it’s actually real.
Just don’t have your characters act like whatever half-assed half informed thing you wrote is not weird as fuck. Because a real person doesn’t just notice jamming transmitters being placed only in the cafeteria instead of around all the classified stuff and not write a tumblr shit post or at least think about it all day.
As long as your characters acknowledge something’s weird you’re good.
Just don’t accidentally foreshadow stuff that doesn’t actually happen later.
#writing#writers on tumblr#creative writing#writeblr#authors of tumblr#tumblr writers#writer on tumblr#writers#writer problems
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Hi there! Ik you're not into homestuck anymore, but I was wondering if all your old piratestuck art is posted anywhere else, since your original blog got deleted? I used to spend so long just going through that tag, cause I love your art so much. It rly sucks that Tumblr is so hellbent on censoring everything to the point of just trashing a decade or more of someone's hard work :(
sadly at the moment no, tumblr was the only place where the great majority of my Homestuck art was (along with some One Piece art and a good chunk of my early bnha art) and even though I don't think much about Homestuck and Piratestuck these days, I wanted to share these art back then and the sentiment is still true today, I really want all my old arts to still be accessible for everyone to find, even if looking at them today myself might make me cringe due to it being old and seeing all the flaws in them lmao
anon asked: Hope you’ll be able to reupload your art! Everything you make is gorgeous!
I know I won't reupload them on tumblr (wouldn't be able to post the sexy here anyway and I refuse to skip it), or twitter or wherever, one by one like they were posted in the past, because we're talking about hundreds, possibly close to a thousand pieces of art and doodles
what I intend to do is to sort them into a few .PDFs (by fandom? by year?) and make those available for download
it's just that. the task right now is a bit daunting, that's a lot of art to sort through! and I would also like to write some level of commentary, you know like captions to give some context, maybe some of the lore and headcanons for Piratestuck, that kinda thing! but yeah, lot of work that I'm currently a bit afraid to start on so that might be a while...
#it warms my heart so much to hear you were going through the piratestuck tag just for fun#it kills me that my old art isn't available right now exactly for this reason#my art was always meant to be shared#and yeah fuck tumblr for being the way it is#fun fact yesterday I was going around fixing the embedded arts in my AO3 fics#figured I could link to images uploaded in private tumblr posts#tumblr ALSO flags private posts#(but the embeds still work lmao)#nothing is safe from the stupid algorithm that is triggered by a little too much flesh tones not even a PRIVATE post that no one will see
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this#also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background…#and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids#in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game#the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who#really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks#phantump#HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all#and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible#and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images#i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha#i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said#“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this#and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that#once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine#i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a#script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the#queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them#then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses#because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here#just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially#made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is)#so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened#i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now
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fun fact: Them
#willos nation I have an important announcement to make#eyagh *disintegrates into powder and scatters into the wind forever*#that's all thank you for coming to my ted talk.#barbie mariposa#barbie mariposa and her butterfly fairy friends#barbie mariposa and the fairy princess#Had to attach a link to the last image because tumblr fucked the quality so bad#barbie#barbie movies#On a different note. They go on chore runs together. In my mind#I should've drawn that but you're going to hear it from me here instead#She invites him out on a laundry run to cut down on the being bored out of her mind and notices he's actually enthusiastic about it#Because like. Having grown up mostly sheltered and relatively(self-imposed or otherwise) isolated he#hadn't really had the experience of just Hanging Out very much#like hell yeah an excuse to leave the palace without having to deal with socializing with strangers. too much.#because she can deal with that. And i mean. he likes hanging out with her.#So she just keeps inviting him over for other menial chores. He's actually kindof competent at it and she really doesnt mind the extra help#cakeart#Also. also. She does poses for him. to draw. paint. whatever#Not in a weird way. in a figure drawing way. understand my vision. look me in the eye.#Artist/muse scenario in general. consider. consider. i'm correct#This post has been in my drafts since november it's not going to show up in the tags if I keep talking
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haha oh no im definitely not at all disturbed by the prevalence of leftists on all platforms who are loudly 'anti-genocide' when it comes to the palestinian cause (and a couple others at best :3c) yet the only time ukraine [ʊkrɐˈjinɐ] leaves their mouths is in critique, in stark comparison to the former or in complaint about their (american) government sending aid.
at first what i saw often was pointing out the differences in western media framing [ukraine vs palestine], and that's fair (until the words and the agenda of western journalists are used to paint, as a whole, ukrainians who have been actively going through genocide as some kind of white supremacists hogging the blanket of global attention when they kinda just want to live and have the rights to their own land, culture, names and families)
but no one is even caring to do that anymore, today bitches just invent metaphorical scenarios and people to get mad at and to throw an entire ethnos away because wahhhh i decided that you care for X but not for Y!!!.... all while doing the exact thing they are condemning. the exact absolute same and they don't even hide it but do lack the self-awareness to realise
#'ohh i saw white people still go out to rally for ukraine' yeah have you considered they are ukrainian or have ukrainian loved ones or uh#simply have humanity in their heart to care about several humanitarian tragedies in the world?#this is both aimed at a post i saw on here and at SEVERAL. MANY. twitterians with a thousand palestine flags all over their accounts spewing#misinformation hate and sometimes straight up russian propaganda tactics because they're this fucking insane#i don't care about sounding nice anymore by the way. i know my heart lies in the right place and i have the capacity to care about more than#one ongoing genocide of indigenous peoples#removed incidents of bad actors having a ukrainian flag on their backpack doing hateful shit does not somehow okay dismissing a genocide you#so vehemently claim to oppose. they are not ukrainians who are getting bombed on the daily for years#i saw a very lovely 🍉🕊️ lady denying holodomor and using literal russian talking points while patting herself on the back for being such#a good person. i saw one of the most popular leftie accs on twitter be actively anti-ukraine and using slurs. luckily we mass reported them#and they're gone#i'm no longer being careful with my words because i don't want to be misconstrued. i know my values go beyond twitter and tumblr#if i catch you in any way undermining the genocide of ukrainians or only bringing it up to point fingers and bitch i am blocking you forever#don't care how far this post might go cuz of ppls questionable use of the search function. and i didn't care to censor anything#like. masks off. just block me if this is your rhetoric
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matt mercer as essek thelyss + someday i’ll love (ocean vuong) + the last days of judas iscariot
#you ever hurt yourself making something#i think about this a lot#he says it so casually but you know at least some of that has to be just. essek being essek and not wanting to make a Thing of it#i also just. have lots of feelings about essek as judas#get ready for more of these bc i have more On The Way#praying tumblr doesnt absolutely fuck the quality of the pictures#essek thelyss#c2e91#c2#wizardposting#cr table#the mighty nein#critical role#web weaving#(i guess?? yeah this counts)#the last days of judas iscariot
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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feels increasingly like measuring progress by media representation is just people shutting their eyes to like. The world we live in. It’s also always people older than me being like “you guys have no idea how good you have it now with all these trans and gay characters, WE didn’t have that” like ok. Great, thanks for your input. Hey have you heard about the number of trans people fleeing their fucking homes because they can no longer safely live in their state
#I feel some kind of way when so many anti trans bills are being passed and people on tumblr dot com are#celebrating nonbinary characters in kids’ cartoons being more common#Like ok yeah that’s a good thing but framing it as#’conservatives are so mad and they can’t do anything about it!’ Is like#It feels almost insulting given the rampant censorship in people’s literal fucking lives#Given drag bans and book bans and school boards outing trans students and etc etc etc#I’m sorry I just no longer give a shit!!!’
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along the same line as the whole "why do you need to know someone's autistic before you stop bullying them for their autistic traits?" thing I've seen floating around
apologizing for it once you know is meaningless. it doesn't change the fact that you deliberately mocked someone for their behavior.
.
a customer mocked my stutter and I've lost all patience with that so I looked him in the eyes and said "I have a speech disability" and he immediately got all apologetic and was like "I wasn't making fun of you". Bro yes you were. you didn't realize you were making fun of a disability I've spent my entire life struggling with, but you were nonetheless.
just because you don't know you're being an asshole doesn't mean you're not being an asshole. you can apologize but I'm not going to forgive you.
#text post#stuttering#disability#ableism#color says shit#it's nice that my stutter mostly disappears when I'm angry because it lets me immediately put on my stony and guarded demeanor effortlessly.#anyway. most customers are at least condescending to me when I have trouble speaking. not outright rude#I've had a few customers that do genuinely mock me and then I just walk away from them and call a manager.#but like... apologizing when you've chosen to engage in asshole behavior doesn't change the fact that you've engaged in that behavior.#I'm not going to go “oh it's alright 😁” because you've realized that I don't think you're at all funny for that.#I'm done taking shit from anybody. treat me with respect or fuck off.#it's not my fucking fault I can't get a sentence out some days.#I don't care if it was done in ignorance you're an adult you don't get to be cruel like that.#like. haha yeah I know it's so funny when I start making noises and breathing funny but I'm not a spectacle for you to laugh at.#I'm not some side show. I'm not some curiosity. I'm not a roadside attraction to laugh at.#sometimes I forget I have such a hugely internalized reaction to being objectified in this very specific way#and then it happens and I want to leave a fist shaped dent in my locker.#I care too much about my hands to fuck them up again so I'll just vent on tumblr dot com instead
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As for my post this morning. If anyone was worried. Me personally I'm okay (I guess) but my dad's in the hospital and things r still very up in the air. So.
#speculation nation#bracing myself for the possibility of Major Grief.....2!!!!#well actualy more like 3 or 4 or 5 (lol lol lol)#but likely the worst one bc it's. my dad. that's my dad.#i left work early to visit him at the hospital. hes stable rn at least (he wasnt this morning)#he wasnt conscious though. and i really really hope he ends up okay#but. i still saw my dad unconscious in a hospital bed hooked up to like a million tubes and#thats my dad. Thats my Dad.#im really trying to not do my processing until after i know for sure how things are gonna go#dont wanna start grieving until after he's officially gone#so im trying not to think about it. but it's still... yeah. unpleasant.#and theres a part of me thats so so resentful. if i have to have a dead parent why would it be the Good one?#take my fucking mom instead. hell my life would even be BETTER without her. horrible as that is to say.#but it's my dad. he's not perfect. he has his flaws. but he's still tried in a way she never ever did.#seeing him like that makes me feel so... small. makes me remember being picked up by him.#makes me remember riding on the back of his harley as a tiny little 10 year old with a helmet that was giant on me#we'll hope for the best. we'll hope for a recovery. even if not a full recovery. i just want to have my dad.#sorry. this is probably too real for my tumblr dot com. it's just been... a lot today.#negative/#death/#hospitals ment/#idfk. sorry
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do you SAY you care about fat people and stuff but do you ACTUALLY care? do you give them a look when they say they cant find a shirt in their size? do you kind of roll your eyes when they mention trying to eat healthier or eat less? do you look uncomfortable when a fat person talks about being fat?!
yeah, sure, you say you wanna get with fat people but do you care. Do you really actually fucking care.
#seaspeak#im sorry this is just. a rant#ive been feeling self concious lately#its not really anyones fault im just lowk kinda sick of being looked down upon bc im bigger#and i see posts on tumblr like Ohh yeah i wanna fuck a fat person theyre so hot#but do you really think this way? do you treat fat people decently? do you actually care?#i feel eyes judging me all the time and its like#:/
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Propaganda
Cesare and Stanley:
both are very alone, but they have each other!
Han Solo and Peter Quill
Peter thinks he and Han are rivals. They're both space pirates, after all. Known for their charming wit, their epic good looks, their way with women. And now they've both saved the galaxy from evil jerks. Peter has put a lot of thought into this rivalry and how to best Han.
Han literally has no clue who Peter is. Never heard of him. He does know Rocket and Groot though. They've worked together a couple of times.
#crossovernonshiptournament#tumblr bracket#bracket poll#tumblr poll#tumblr tournament#crossovers#by the way submitter i want you to know that the whole 'solo has no idea who quill is' bit was the deciding factor for this getting in#had you tried to pitch them as friends or even reciprocal i might have not included them#but the idea of quill being like YEAH we're RIVALS and solo having NO FUCKING CLUE who he is is just#mwah#love it#also i just realized i listed stanley and cesare's names in the wrong order on their card#whoops#i think this one was from the first batch where i was less careful about that
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