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fumifooms · 1 day

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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis

Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but I’m jumping into the fray. I think there’s a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is pretty much essential prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so it’s sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.

Falin cares too little :

A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and I… Don’t agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.

We do see her worrying about what people think of her… ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didn’t matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. That’s why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; it’s always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.

Laios’ words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, you’re great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, I’ll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, she’d follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, she’d follow him to the ends of the world, and that’s what she did.

She didn’t care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesn’t even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parent’s directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I don’t think the motivation is people pleasing, rather it’s being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that it’s as simple as that, mind you, but let’s talk about this for now.

Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). They’re the ones she’s devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didn’t care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.

What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think that’s the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we can’t tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that she’s in there, we just don’t know at what degree), that we don’t know her enough to be able to tell when she’s at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.

And this is what’s very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. She’s so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he can’t read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see that… Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesn’t care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who she’s speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they don’t cross her mind then of course she’d be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesn’t make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isn’t exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see she’s ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me there’s this aspect to her that she isn’t as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and there’s something interesting to that.

People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so she’s friendly and hopefully things’ll be smooth sailing. It’s easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you don’t care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesn’t do what she does because she loves them, but because she loves them.

One situation that’s interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what I’m trying to get at, is Shuro’s proposal to her. I’ve seen people saying she hesitated because she didn’t feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I can’t say no, I don’t want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but it’s actually canon in the Adventurer’s Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didn’t feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but it’d have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense she’d want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, there’s even a bit on it on Laios’ Adventurer’s Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, it’s an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brother’s needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldn’t she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?

So her hesitance was "yeah that’s convenient for me, but where it’s everything to him and heartfelt I’m able to be detached because I don’t care about it that much… Can I do that? I’m not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though it’s not what you’d expect, isn’t it?

And central to my analysis, where I’m going with this is, I feel like that’s the thing with her character, that she doesn’t feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didn’t mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didn’t seem to get why it was such a big deal, didn’t seem to care about how they’d experienced her choices.

So it’s a tendency… And it’s not that she doesn’t care, it’s just that the way she measures what’s good for the ones she loves isn’t the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). It’s an overt but quiet kind of care, it’s doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.

So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuro’s proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because she’s thinking about reciprocity, about if it’d be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And that’s a big part of her character isn’t it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.

Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, she’d been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurer’s Bible explanation was released midstory, so I’m hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didn’t react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesn’t remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasn’t finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what I’m saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuro’s proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.

And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? It’s rather layered, because canonically she wasn’t aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and we’re not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isn’t being mistreated (though doesn’t ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough she’s very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when she’s worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chief’s daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.

She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.

And this sort of understanding is part of why I think she’d notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when she’s careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think it’s a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. She’s not sure wether to accept or reject Shuro’s proposal, doesn’t want to lead him on? She’ll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesn’t feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.

We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think that’s here too. She doesn’t get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesn’t change that she doesn’t want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, it’s just that she’s learned growing up that she doesn’t have much agency.

Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. She’ll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, she’ll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when he’s pushing her away (because he doesn’t want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved them— And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didn’t notice the ostracization she suffered.

She’s always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didn’t try hard to rectify the dogs’ misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.

So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someone’s presence isn’t something you ask for, it’s something that’s bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you can’t ask them to stay or to come with.

She’s used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so she’s learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didn’t want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.

And still, it’s the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasn’t that I’d feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I don’t regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but I’m sorry that you’re so much more upset about it than me". It’s the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.

It’s the autism it’s the aroace of it all, it’s the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, it’s the feeling like you’re somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. I’m not joking btw it isn’t uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm you’re uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you won’t feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about it…"

So… Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I don’t think she actually cares about people all that much. I’d argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesn’t mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well it’s pretty straightforward really, she’s not all that social and doesn’t see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but it’s not as much like… A conviction or goal. She’s too laser focused on a select few people. "It’s not that they’re bad people, they just aren’t interested in humans."

And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isn’t her whole world or that she isn’t the kindest soul out there then you’re saying she doesn’t care at all or she’s evil. And that’s actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but it’s not in a way that’s quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they don’t have the same logic as her, don’t show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if I’m making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isn’t uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.

And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, there’s absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. There’s enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason I’ve chosen this angle is I feel it’s more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falin’s character arc as I’ll go over throughout the next section…

So.

Not feeling as much as she should. And……. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?

You can’t tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.

Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when she’s dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to just… Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. That’s what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.

There’s excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, and… Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falin’s choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragon’s wasn’t done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. She’s stripped of her agency consistently, and so… It’s very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.

Personally, I think freedom is Falin’s own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.

And if you think I’m going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laios’ wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, it’s something that’s consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.

Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, it’s always been Laios’ curse.

Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, but… On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks it’d be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If there’s someone you don’t like, you can gobble ‘em up in one bite. If you could fly, you’d be able to leave this village right now." It’s a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.

But you’ll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesn’t want to leave knowing they’ll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laios’ care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isn’t to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isn’t to stay and see how well his friends will live, it’s to go. It’s to leave. It’s to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. It’s again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didn’t, or not caring and wishing you did.

In the end, it’s Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. It’s a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying they’ll get themselves killed, that time is passing while they’re away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what it’s like to have what she’s never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.

No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if you’re a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when you’re a beast and you can just… Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because you’re at the bottom of the hierarchy, you’re now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.

I think she’s on autopilot. I think she’s on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and it’s partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) It’s familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And that’s what is weaponized when she’s a chimera, that instinct she’s been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesn’t matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesn’t mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because she’s trained it to take as little place as it could.

Falin cares too much

She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.

So you’re probably seeing the duality I’m talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often don’t recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesn’t care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.

In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. She’s undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, it’s text, in the response to Shuro’s proposal extra no less. And she’s so laser focused on her most loved people that she’s fine with being callous and risking others’ lives, even.

Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.

Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.

And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with her… Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her too… In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way that’s not palatable. But she doesn’t care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasn’t for a while now, and that’s great.

Notes & nuance

I’m struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. It’s difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but there’s this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "it’s ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldn’t fit well in other places but are interesting for Falin’s character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, it’s just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I can’t just pull it up whenever it’s relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurer’s Bible profile if you haven’t already.

I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didn’t seem to mind others ostracizing her, it’s easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid she’s bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leader… There’s one istanxe of her caring actually, and it’s about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laios’ said it and as I rambled Laios’ words are her world, but actually it’s ambiguous. It’s only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, there’s no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other hand…

Her Adventurer’s Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falin’s struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesn’t like being called cute over it, but that’s not how she wants people to see her. She doesn’t want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.

Here’s a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts don’t seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe it’s more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didn’t keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ‘troublesome’. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.

And on the topic of appearances… A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurer’s Bible profile) it’s just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."

Imo the thing is, I don’t think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for others’ sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but that’s not personality wise it’s needs and wants wise. And I do feel like that’s the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesn’t know what she wants because everything she’s done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesn’t change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will* like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesn’t ask things from people and doesn’t hope for more, hope for better. I don’t think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her it’s less ‘appearing stoic to fit in more’ and more ‘yeah i’ll just chill until I’m needed or something activates my enthusiasm’.

And speaking of passivity… I want to speculate about Shuro’s proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we don’t know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuro’s proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I don’t think it was as simple as ‘she wanted to say yes for convenience’. Logically it’s what would have been best, but it’s not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesn’t think she’ll get proposed to again, it’s that self-effacing tendency that yes it’d be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isn’t in it, because if it’s convenient then that’s more important than her feelings on the matter.

AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much she’s master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but she’s for sure there & influencing the dragon’s action to some degree. Having a dragon’s foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but there’s Falin calling out to her brother Laios, there’s the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly there’s the Adventurer’s Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that it’s her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, it’s interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, she’s described as Thistle’s guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so I’ll reign myself in and just mention it again. She’s still at the heel of someone, only now it’s someone who doesn’t care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that it’s suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think that’s part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isn’t unlike the care she gives the ghosts.

Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.

But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc we’ve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "I’ll lay down my life for you" point? I’m so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isn’t it cool?" gestures of showing things to her… It’s the only way she knows to ask, or maybe it’s the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same time… I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. I’d usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but there’s a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.

Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo important… Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didn’t mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you haven’t seen each other in a while or when they’re alone, and yes there’s potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin won’t be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same way… I hope I’m making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they don’t know if that’s allowed, if they’re going about the social interaction the right way, if they’re allowed to ask that out of someone…

Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didn’t see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falin’s actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldn’t see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course she’d see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).

A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcille’s world, Laios’ is at the center of Falin’s, and I tend to agree.

It’s fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course there’s how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but there’s how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.

I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think there’s an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I don’t really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. ‘If you die do it somewhere where I can’t see’ style’ interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I don’t vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isn’t needlessly against ghosts. And Falin’s sudden mace hits are fun to me too because it’s not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whatever’s needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc

I’m working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falin’s dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laios’ is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.

Conclusion

Tldr: Falin doesn’t care all that much, she’s very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesn’t really care because that’d require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but it’s more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: she’s canonically very genuinely kind, but it’s more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. She’s passive, and softspoken because that’s just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the ol’ mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. She’s shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but there’s also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. There’s a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falin’s case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.

She’s sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and that’s it don’t hope for more don’t ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how she’s not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)

Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.

I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it

That’s it, ty for reading. Even if it’s a bit of a mess, hopefully you’ll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.

Here’s my spotify playlist for her if you’d like

Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-love’s important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.

#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we don’t #get that many moments with her. So there’s ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me #As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it #I’m doomed. I’m getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #analysis #character analysis #meta #autistic reading #aroace reading as well. Sort of. It’s mentioned #The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity you’re expected to #As always this is just my interpretation blablabla #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor #Laios touden #he’s here too bc they are an unit #If you’re not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falin’s character u are missing an opportunity imo #Fairy’s child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised she’s hard to fully pin down #Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laios… Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out #I’d like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. I’m not satisfied by the level of clarity #Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles #Crazy style

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neowonderland · 1 day

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Summary: Jeno never truly understands why his boyfriend, Jaemin sticks next to you

Pairings: Poly! Nomin x reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, noncon

Dark Content, Minor please DNI

Disclaimer: this is a work of pure fiction. I do not condone the actions of any characters in this story and the actions do not reflect the idols in any way.

Jeno never truly understood why his boyfriend stuck around you.

Jaemin's free to do what he wants, free to spend time and sleep around with whoever. Jeno is free to do the same, but it doesn't stop him from judging Jaemin's decisions.

To Jeno, you were like a caricature of a human being, too sweet, too innocent, too naive. Jeno swears there isn't a thought behind your eyes when you gaze at his boyfriend, Jaemin with your doe eyes, wide, filled with admiration and listening intently to what Jaemin would say.

Jeno never understood why Jaemin would let you touch him, Jaemin letting your fingers card through his hair while he laid his head on your lap, your head resting on his shoulder or your arms wrapped around Jaemin while you two sat on the couch together.

To Jeno, you were a nuisance to both him and his boyfriend, an annoying moth that was drawn to Jaemin like a flame, a fly that could never seem to leave Jaemin alone. Jeno wished that Jaemin tolerated you out of politeness, but the shopping sprees, countless gifts, gentle words and affectionate glances seemed to say otherwise.

Maybe Jeno was jealous, seeing his precious boyfriends attention on someone else other than him. Maybe it was because Jeno wanted to monopolize Jaemin and have Jaemin dote on him the same way he dotes on you.

Either way, Jeno never understood why Jaemin spent so much time with you.

It didn't hit Jeno why until he stumbled upon you and Jaemin together in Jaemin's room, tied up in pretty pink ribbon underneath Jaemin.

Jeno supposes you're pretty in that moment, helpless under Jaemin with pink ribbon tied in knots and bows traveling on the expanse of your body. It's a pretty contrast against your skin and Jeno knows Jaemin probably picked that shade of pink with the thought of wrapping you in it.

You're crying too, large tears rolling down your face as you tell Jaemin to let you go, that you don't want this, that he can stop anytime he wants and that you won't tell anyone about this. Of course, Jaemin ignores you, opting to bully himself further into your walls, eyes fluttering and groaning as he feels you around him.

Jeno knows you're warm and so tight, almost too tight for Jaemin by the way Jaemins groans and how he tells you that you're "too tight" and that your insides are "not letting go" of him. Jaemin calls you his "little fucktoy" and how you must've been acting that way to get fucked by him.

Jeno guesses it's cute when you shake your head profusely at what Jaemin says, more tears spilling down as you try to form a response from your red, swollen lips. You're struggling against the ribbon, against Jaemin and that brings out a chuckle from him.

It isn't until Jeno bangs his fist against the doorframe that his presence is known and Jaemin invites him to come join him.

It isn't until Jeno is sinking himself into your heat that he truly understands exactly why Jaemin sticks around you.

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ay-chuu · 1 day

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We Could Be The Same

gn!reader. The lyrics are from 'we could be the same' from MaNga. 4th wall break and devoted love. A little of angst. This is also for my pretty star girl, @senpaiofotome

-☆-

Your tears were piercing his heart. Nobody could break his heart this much. Or nobody could unite his heart so much.

"I can love you more than they hate" he whispered to you as his hands come to your face for cleaning your tears. When his hand came to your cheeks, you gently pressed it to your face and smiled sadly as your lips kissed his palm.

"I know... I can see it in your eyes. It doesn't come as a surprise."

While placing his other hand on your other cheek, he slowly pressed his forehead to yours and whispered, this time in a harsher voice. "Doesn't matter who they will blame. I dont care anyone. Just call me, just want me as much you do want do. And i know that we can be together if try enough. "

He shouldn't have done it or say it, he knows... that he shouldn't have drawn you into this universal madness. But instead of seeing you sad in a world where you live with strange people you don't want, he could pull you into a dimensional response with him.

Maybe you would run away from everywhere. But together. Maybe it would just take a lifetime. Maybe it would only take a few years. Maybe it would only take a few months or weeks. Damn... maybe this promise would only last a night.

But a day where you are together. And maybe you two could dance like a star. Not matter how different you two are.

He looked at the sky, he closed his eyes before opening them to you to see them filled with determination.

"For all this time I've been loving you, don't even know your full name..." He kissed your forehead silently. "For just one night, we could be the same no matter what they say..."

~♡: JASON TODD, Damian wayne, Dick grayson (DC; Batboys) KUNIKUZUSHI, NEUVILETTE, Childe, Diluc, ALHAITHAM (Genshin Impact) CHUUYA, SIGMA, DAZAI!!, Tetchou (Bsd) Simeon, SOLOMON (Obey me) MALLEUS MALLEUS MALLEUS! OML. , Silver, Leona (Twst) Shoto, hawks (Bnha) ZAYNE, Rafayel, Xavier (LnD) +your fav characters...

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mechaknight-98 · 3 days

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Team Up I (NSFW) FT Chodan and Momo

Authors Note: Have y'all checked out Qwer… I mean Sheesh. Also I am aware that I may have a type. Part II: Coming eventually

The first time I met Chodan I was at a random bookstore in California looking for the most recent volume of Kaiju no. 8, Go Go Loser Ranger and ultraman. I noticed her nabbing a few copies of bleach (my favorite of the big three) she was wearing a simple white shirt and dark pants. Cautiously I approach she tracks me and I force my most confident and resolute smile. I think of an opener but she beats me to it.

“I see you like manga. How do you feel about Bleach.” She asked.

“It is my favorite of the big three. I love its expressive art style and how the author portrays and draws “black characters” his portrayal is only second to the author of Soul Eater and Fire Force” I respond. The lady smiles like I passed her test.

“My name is Jihye,” I nod

“Okay Jihye I dig it, but seeing you up close up you have this weird sense of familiarity.” I lied. Jihye smirked

“Well, that depends are you on twitch.” She asked seductively she was surprised when I shook my head. Seeing the opportunity I say,

“I got it,” I say mock recollecting, “you’ve been the lady running around in my dreams” Jihye laughs and smiles.

“You’re funny I like that. What’s your name?” She questioned

Two years later

“Okay, Cho. I am at arrivals,” I say to my girlfriend who’s been driving around the airport waiting for me. She had flown in the week prior for a series of shows across Japan. I was flying in to see "League of Legends" World championship which was in Tokyo this year. I was also staying an extra two days to see the showcase because I love her so much. She didn’t know it though.

When I saw her I smiled. “Hey sexy thing, you waiting for me?” she asked as she rolled the window. I smile as I get in

“You know you saying that makes me sound like a prostitute,” I tease.

Cho smiles back, “Well maybe I think you are a cheap whore. You would still be my favorite though.” I laugh with her as she drives off.

“So where are we heading?” I ask as she drives from the airport.

“Our little love nest than a PC Bang probably, don't worry though they have a card shop attached so you can play commander,” Chandan said with a smile.

“You know me so well,” babe I say as she pulls up to the Hotel’s parking Chodan smiles before kissing my cheek. We get into the hotel and I set my bag down and take in the view.

“You like it?” Chodan asks. I nodded and turned to her

“Yes, but I like this view more,” I say as I watch her take off her jacket and reveal her tight tank top. I kiss her and she chuckles

"You're such a slut you know that," She teases while bringing me in for a passionate kiss. her hands wander across my chest and arms before she breaks the kiss and lifts the tank top over her head. her eyes are wide with lust as I smile before responding

"Well, when my girlfriend looks this hot how can I say no, ya know?"

"Well, Why can't I just be sexy without my whore of a boyfriend needing to fuck me?" She teases back. Playing her game I respond in kind

"I can take a nap we don't have to do this," I respond. Cho responds aggressively by throwing my shirt off me and forcing my pants open.

"I have gone without this evil but delicious cock for 4 months. you are not going to deprive me of it any longer," she growls and I worry slightly because she's never done that before. but my fears are soon pushed away as she takes my cock into her mouth. Her tight vacuum seal around my rod is intoxicating and causes me to begin moaning for her

“Ah fuck Jihye,” I moan out reverting to her real name. She takes me in further than she ever has as her throat relaxes around my cock and her eyes scream at me to go deeper, so I lightly grab the sides of her head before fulfilling her request. I plunge my cock deeper. Her gags and my moans are the only audible sounds resonating in the room I look down at my lovely girlfriend and gone is the cute girl I have come to love and cherish replaced with a hungry predator. She devoured my rod with the fervor of a starved animal.

Her adorable bright eyes left dark tainted by the shadow of lust as her throat stretched to accommodate me. Her eyes invite, no demand I cum down her throat as she challenges me to fuck her face harder, which I do. I thrust with more force as she gags more on my cock her eyes roll into the back of her head signifying her satisfaction. Her spit is flying her makeup is ruined but she is euphoric in her body as I watch her finger herself. Unable to hold off any longer my dick churns massive amounts of cum down her throat as I exploded into her tight wet throat. Chodan moans causing an almost secondary orgasm on top of my original one but I hold out. I needed to own her pussy as well. When I left her mouth she stared at me with a disheveled but blissed-out look,

“Thank God I had that itch in my throat for months, and only your cock could scratch it” Chodan joked before stripping the rest of her clothes. Her tight body enticed me to further depravity but what sealed the deal was her sizable bust swaying in the cool air hypnotizing me to fuck her for real this time. I grabbed Chodan wordlessly causing her to yelp before I stuff her pussy with my cock

“Hey? Ooh fuck.” her voice went from a high-pitched yelp to a pleased moan. My cock invaded her insides as she said, “Oh is my slit gonna cum again?” she always knew the words to set me off as I began slowly I pulled out just enough for the tip to remain in her before slamming my whole length back in. Chodan moaned no longer having the mental capacity to do anything other than take my cock which she always did so well. I groped her mesmeric orbs she called breasts and forced her body to be flush with mine instead of having her bent over the bed. My primal instincts took over as I thrust into like an animal trying to impregnate her. The harder the better.

Chodan throughout all could only moan before she came on my cock. Her moans rang through my ears like melodic percussion as she lost herself to the pleasure but I as her drenched and sloshed pussy squelched and squeezed my high was not far off. I explode into my girl as she moans “Oh God yes, oh God yes,” we collapsed onto the bed with my cock still inside her. When we woke up she rode my cock again to her and my fulfillment. Then we took a quick chaste shower Cho and I went to the PC Bang she mentioned.

You and Momo were heading to PC Bang after a long and stressful day at work. As you walk in Chodan and I bump into y'all.

"Oh Gomen," I reply. You look at me with a curious look as I return the look.

We stare at each other for a bit of time before Momo says to Chodan, how pretty her hair is. you notice my deck bag and ask if I play mtg in English. I nod and you gesture for Chodan and me to join you. Momo and Chodan split off while we find a nice table to play at.

"Do you play modern?" You ask.

I nod.

"Oh good, I hate 1v1 commander."

"I do as well," I reply, "that is why I built Domain Zoo," I added.

"Okay good you are playing an archetype and not Jank," you reply relieved pulling out indomitable creativity. We get set up and I face you. I pull out my dice.

"Do you want to go first or should I?" I ask. You point to yourself and I give you the thumbs up. We shuffle up and you and pregame action I play Leyline of the guildpact. You give me a thumbs up and play your turn 1 Ragavan. It gets to my turn I play an arid mesa and tap it for an Esper sentinel. you look at me surprised and then on your next turn you cast a bolt (directed at me) and then I draw a card. You swing Ragavan and pull a leyline of the guild pact off of my top. I shrug at this, but before we can get further into the game the building begins to shake. We look at each other and run outside. As expected a Kaiju is wreaking havoc on the city. I take out my transformer and you take out yours as we do our transformations “Hyperion” you yell

“Hyperion X” I yell

We transform and fight the kaiju. Through our combined efforts it honestly barely an issue. We deactivated our transformations before the HDF could even arrive.

“So you’re also a Hyperion?” you ask. I nod and quantify

“But I was born here,” your eyes narrow and you respond

“Hmm, that’s a first,” you say.

I shrug and reply

“Well my parents like this planet, as do you it seems,” I tease as I watch our girlfriends walk up to us in their full HDF combat attire.

“Oh good Dota you’re safe,” Chodan says relieved. You and Momo look at me confused.

“Dota?” You question.

“Oh right, I never introduced myself. My name is Dakota King but everyone calls me Dota usually.” I respond you nod and then Momo says,”

“Okay well then Dota and Chodan how about we get some lunch since our date was ruined,” Cho and I nod as we follow the older couple. We went to a nearby restaurant and had a pleasant experience where got to know each other. I learned that Momo and you were part of Japan's HDF force (You were a cleaner, and Momo was a fighter), and we also learned that Chodan's subgroup would be working with Momo's group for one of the upcoming showcases. After we ate our fill Chodan and I left.

"They seem nice," Momo says to you when the two of you get back to your shared apartment.

You nod, and reply, "I wonder if they have any other plans? Maybe we can see them again."

Mom lights up, "Ooh I'd love that," she says happily. The two of you then quickly discard the other's clothing and begin making out. Momo moans into the kiss.

"Someone is excited," you say to her. Momo nods,

"I have you all to myself tonight, and I am going to enjoy it," Momo said.

#kpop fanfic #fanfic #male reader #kaiju au #momo smut #twice smut #hirai momo #twice momo #chodan #chodan smut #qwer #Qwer Chodan

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rilirios · 2 days

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➢ love me or love me not?

—✦ pairings. various!characters x gn!reader —✦ summary. love, it can be the most beautiful thing, or an absolute disaster. for you, it was a trainwreck. —✦ cw. angst, unrequited love —✦ w.c. 300+ all together —✦notes. hot freaks ib fic!! another repost from my old blog. im probably gonna repost one more then write something new or go back on break c:

i. heartache

you knew what you were getting into. falling in love with a person who was already in love. you saw the admiration in their eyes when they looked at their beloved. you saw the smitten look on their face.

but you were in love, utterly infatuated. it was sickening. and you knew you had two choices: either move on from this little crush or enjoy your feelings while it lasts. thus, you chose the latter. you didn’t want to think about the possible results of your love, of the rejection you’d face.

so you simply decided to roll with it. pretend that they didn’t love anyone, and enjoy the small moments the two of you had. giggling at words they told you, staying up late just to talk with them.

however the thought that you wouldn’t be the one for them still remained at the back of your mind.

— jing yuan, blade, dan heng, diluc, alhaitham, wriothesley, your favorites

ii. write me letters

a hallway crush is what you'd describe it as. but what is a hallway crush? someone you see in the hallway and ogle at for a couple of minutes before moving on with life? you don't even know if they fit the criteria of a hallway crush. sure, you've talked to them for a little while, but it wasn't enough for the two of you to become actual friends.

so then what are you guys? of course, you don't want to end up as just a classmate. and you don't want to just think of them as a simple hallway crush. you want to be more to them. a friend or something more. you wanted to at least exist to them, for them to know you're there.

no longer did you want to just gaze at them through the swarms of people in the hallway.

— kafka, fu xuan, jean, dan heng, neuvilette, your favorites

iii. outset island

looking through a box you found in your garage, you see multiple polaroid photos of your childhood. a certain kid popping up next to you in several of those photos. you don't remember them clearly, but you recall the memories you've had and the little habits they did.

like that one time the two of you hid under a truck to peacefully eat the pastries you weren't allowed to have (the both of you got caught but at least you had fun with it).

and of course, every friendship has to come to an end, and you had a fallout. you don't remember what it was, but you think it was related to you moving away since you both promised to stay with each other forever, despite how childish the promise might've been. you don't recall the words you said, only the tears on your old friends face and a feeling of guilt in your chest.

— lance, rei, jingliu, dan heng, blade, jing yuan, amber, pidge, neuvillette, furina

(my friend helped me with this so kudos to them c:)

#˚ ⭒☆ ⋆｡˚ · new additions #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗#—stellaronhvnters.#honkai star rail x reader #genshin impact x reader #blade x reader #jing yuan x reader #wriothesley x reader #neuvillette x reader #kafka x reader #jingliu x reader #jean x reader #dan heng x reader #genshin x reader #hsr x reader

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drmaddict · 18 hours

Text

Ankle Biter

Summary: The boys get to know (Y/n's) dog. He's not quite like the military dogs they know.

Characters: Ghost, Soap, Rudy, König

Wordcount: 786

Ghost

"What's that?"

"My dog. Pumpkin."

Simon looked irritated at the sceptically blinking dog in front of him.

"That's not a dog.", he said bluntly.

(Y/n) crossed her arms. "Really?"

Simon continued to look at the Chihuahua in front of him. "It'll break if you just look at it."

(Y/n) rolled her eyes.

Simon put his hands on his hips.

"I mean... If anything, I'm surrounded by shepherds... Not... Not by anything like that.", he tried to explain somehow, pointing at the ball of fur that was still scrutinising him insistently.

The doorbell rang, but Pumpkin didn't move an inch. Had Simon fully in his sights.

(Y/n) went to the door and greeted the postman, while her two men engaged in a staring contest.

Simon crossed his arms. Pumpkin stood up.

(Y/n) came back into the room. "Pumpkin come.", she ordered and the little dog followed without hesitation. Simon walked after her too.

"Why such a barker?"

"He doesn't bark. He's well behaved." She opened her parcel and pulled out a colourful, crinkly bag. Pumpkin's tail immediately wagged excitedly, but he stayed put.

(Y/n) took a mat from one of the drawers and sprinkled the contents of the bag into the fine grooves of the mat, placed it on the floor and leisurely tucked everything away in its place.

"And... Go.", she said with a grin. Pumpkin, who had been waiting excitedly, immediately jumped onto the mat and nibbled the treats out of the grooves.

Simon scrutinised the situation closely. "Don't grin like that. These are basic commands."

She just nodded with a grin. "Sure."

"Jump."

"What are you doing?"

Simon flinched, caught off guard. He quickly brought his arms back to his body and stood up. Pumpkin barked discontentedly. The little one was far from finished.

(Y/n) stood grinning in the doorway with her arms crossed and mocked him silently. Simon rolled his eyes, annoyed.

"Nothing," he blurted.

"Mhm.", she nodded. "Pumpkin seems to like 'nothing' though."

Simon looked at the dog wagging its tail excitedly. He sighed and knelt down again. "Crawl.", he pressed out and Pumpkin immediately crawled under his palm, which he held just above the ground.

He felt (Y/n's) hands stroking through his hair. Simon just let him.

Rudy

"And that's-"

"Woof! Woof! WOOF!"

A small ball of fur raced towards Rudy. He flinched out of reflex, quickly sat down on the kitchen stool and held his feet up.

"Nacho off!", (Y/n) ordered emphatically.

The little dog put some distance between himself and Rudy, but was still growling. Rudy looked at the hubris-infested ball of fur.

"Is this going to go on all the time?"

(Y/n) looked at him apologetically. "He's not so good with men.", she confessed.

Rudy carefully put one foot back on the ground. Nacho immediately jumped towards him.

"Hey, off! Off!" Rudy barked and held his foot up again.

"This is going to be a lot of work.", admitted (Y/n).

Soap

He leaned towards (Y/n) and pressed his lips playfully under her earlobe. Even before his lips touched her skin, he heard a growl. He let his eyes snap open and looked into Chef's eyes. The little Chihuahua looked at him menacingly. (Y/n) giggled.

Johnny approached (Y/n) once more and immediately Chef came closer. "Hey, we all want to cuddle with mummy. Come on make yourself- Ah!"

"What did you do to your brow?", asked Simon.

Johnny saw the images of the little Chihuahua in front of him, who had bitten his eyebrow like a pitbull. This creature had never liked him.

"... Dog attack."

Simon just nodded, then faltered. "Doesn't your girl have one of those ankle biters."

"It was another dog!", said Johnny far too quickly and left the room.

König

"Come on Buddy. That was an accident. I didn't see you."

The giant of a man crouched in front of the couch, looking puppy-eyed at the little dog in front of him, who stubbornly ignored him.

(Y/n) hadn't expected it, but Buddy had accepted Klaus immediately. The little Chihuahua loved being carried around by him and being bigger than the rest. Klaus was just insanely big. Unfortunately, he was also so big that he sometimes overlooked Buddy.Like today. He had been walking through the kitchen, still completely sleepy, and had unfortunately kicked Buddy. The little one wasn't hurt, but now thought that Klaus didn't like him any more.

(Y/n) watched the spectacle with a soft heart. The little dog almost whimpered in explanation. Klaus continued to stroke his fur. "I know. I'm sorry." Buddy hesitantly turned round and cuddled up to Klaus' chest. He immediately picked him up and hugged him.

(Y/n) smiled gently. "Can you guys stop being so damn cute?"

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oodlyenough · 2 days

Note

Is there is one thing you could change in Ace Attorney. What would it be?

Hmmm. Well you asked for one but I'm giving you two more mechanical things and one story thing, I'd do any of these really lol:

Just bump everyone's starting age up by like, I don't know, 3-4 years. Why are they all so young. It doesn't really add anything to anything imo -- the teen prodigies are no longer impressive because every character is a teen prodigy -- and in some cases it severely distracts from the story they're attempting to tell, like Regina in Big Top or the Dahlia/Fawles backstory. Trucy and Pearl being so young are the only ones where their age seems like... necessary to their characterization.

More breathing room between the events of 3-5 and Phoenix being disbarred. It only being a couple months after the triumphant finale of the trilogy just comes across kind of ... mean spirited? "Oh you THOUGHT that was a happy ending but GUESS WHAT everything went to shit two weeks later" lmao. Also it would give more time to explain why things are the way they are, the absence of characters, and so on. He could've had another year or so of success before it falls apart :P

I think Feenie should've been "dating" both Dahlia and Iris. I think this maintains the, like, theme~ better, and also stops the Iris reveal in 3-5 from feeling incongruous with what happens and what Dahlia says in 3-1. At minimum they didn't need to emphasize "you ONLY met Dahlia TWICE, EVER" lol like I'm supposed to believe she sat in a mountain for 8 months and never tried to get the necklace herself?? It'd be perfectly in character for Phoenix to be fine with Dollie being hot and cold, ignoring all Dahlia's red flags bc most of the time Iris is very sweet to him. I also find it more meaningful if he was actually betrayed in some way by that relationship, while the game by the end of 3-5 is like "no it was True Love and he was right to eat glass". Phoenix's faith in people is more interesting if it's ever actually been tested.

#anon #you've got questions we've got answers #aa3 spoilers #ace attorney #oodly plays AA

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bynott · 15 hours

Text

anything for you. theodore nott.

in a universe where voldemort won, you and theo risk everything.

warnings: graphic death

pairing: theodore nott x ron weasley's twin sister!reader

“You can’t possibly love him, y/n. He’s a bloody Death Eater!” your brother had jeered at you. Hot tears ran down your face but you refused to wipe them. You wanted everyone in the room to see how deeply this was hurting you.

“I have never been more sure of something in my life. While you were gone – while everyone was gone – he was the only constant. He isn’t who you think he is.” The room broke out into a chorus of repulsed sounds. The Order of the Phoenix wasn’t much these days, the predominant members being the Weasley family. Harry Potter’s death loomed over everyone. Numerous other deaths piled on: those who died at the beginning of the war, but those who have died recently like your older brothers, Percy and George, and your father, Arthur.

“He thinks we’re scum! He would kill Hermione on the spot. How can you stand there and say this shit?” another brother had chimed in. Voices were starting to overlap the more trapped you felt.

“You’ve never given him or myself the chance to prove that’s not true! If you remember, Theo was the one who told me about everything Draco was doing back in school. He has already given us so much information. He’s climbing the ranks, but he is doing it for us!” you fell to your knees, exhaustion and frustration getting the best of you. “Can’t you see that even if he’s not doing it for all of you, he’s putting his life on the line trying to help secure a world that I feel safe in? You know how my beliefs align!”

“Has he stopped killing innocent people? Does he still partake in Voldemort’s plans that don’t necessarily target us? If he’s climbing the ranks, I can’t begin to imagine what he’s doing to do so,” your mother inquired, shooting daggers at you. You couldn’t look her in the eyes.

“He’s doing what he can to survive, too. If he dies, we will lose so much.” Without missing a beat, you added, “If he dies, I am as good as dead.”

This conversation, over a year old, still rings in your head every time you meet Theo. Your current setup in an old warehouse allowed these thoughts to amplify. The only sounds keeping you from spiraling were the rhythmic tapping of Ron’s foot and Bill’s pacing. You never got to see Theo alone, but that wasn’t a horrible thing.

Though you wanted nothing more than to have one evening alone with him, as selfish as that sounds given the climate of the world right now, the positive came in the form of the people who joined you on these exchanges and started to see through the cracks in Theo’s character. This hardened soldier who bears the Dark Mark turns into someone else in your presence. He is more patient and gentle, as compared to the man that numerous members of the Order have seen slaughter people in cold-bold, just to laugh at their frozen-in-death facial expressions.

You had noticed changes in Theo throughout the last few times you’d seen him. He was much more focused on you than the information they were there to exchange. He’d almost become frantic – dark circles that got darker every time you saw him circled his eyes, and his face had become much more caved in. He was starting to look as though he were actively being tortured. He didn’t look better this time around.

You sprang up from your spot when you heard the metal door grind against the floor, opening quicker than anticipated. Ron and Bill quickly put their wands up and took aim at Theo, refusing to put them down even when you yelled, “It’s just him!” Theo didn’t respond much better, raising his wand and aiming at Bill, who you knew Theo saw as more of a threat than Ron.

“Are you being followed? What made you come in here like that?” Bill growled, eyes flickering between Theo and the entrance. Theo narrowed his eyes at the older man.

“You think I would lead them straight here if I was? If it was just you two, sure. But, I would never do that with her here. Consider yourself lucky,” Theo spit.

“That’s enough. Are you alright?” you stated, briskly walking to your lover. Up close, you noticed faint bruising around his neck, as if he’d been choked. Theo didn’t say anything and instead, kept his eyes locked on the two men standing behind you. “Theo,” you trailed off, putting one hand on his cheek. You searched his eyes for any type of response, but you couldn’t find one.

“You don’t have much time,” he said, only loud enough that Ron and Bill were barely able to hear. You took a slight step back, still close enough that you could hold his hand – the hand that he couldn’t even bring himself to grasp in return.

“What?”

“The Dark Lord knows there’s a mole in his closest circle. He knows you are not dead, despite me telling him you were,” Theo said, finally making eye contact with you. Your mouth fell open and you held his hand tighter.

Theo lost his will to fight at that exact moment, letting his hand holding his wand fall to his side. He pulled you into him and rested his forehead against yours. “He knows you’re the mole?” you whispered.

“Not yet, but I can’t imagine it taking much longer. His eyes are set on Berkshire – thinks he’s gotten scared now that his mother died. I was able to ward him off me for the time being. I told him that I wasn’t the one to kill you, I just saw you get hit with a nasty spell.”

“Come with us before it’s too late, Theo. How many times do I have to beg you? Turn your back on it all. We can keep you protected.” you pleaded, looking back at your brothers for reassurance. Bill shook his head before Ron chose to speak.

“He is not coming back with us. Do you know what kind of target that would place on us? It would be a death sentence,” he spit. “With that Dark Mark, I’m sure Voldemort could summon you back to him at any given second,” he added. You spun around to confront him but Theo was quicker – he grabbed you by the arm and pulled you into him.

“I wasn’t planning on it, Weasley,” Theo said with such spite behind his words that it made you want to cower away from him. He looked down at you, asking you a silent question. You bit your lip in thought, looking over at your brothers.

“Could you guys give us a minute to ourselves? Just stand guard at the door.” With a few grumbles, you were able to convince them to leave. As soon as the door shut, you wrapped your arms around Theo as tight as you could, reassuring yourself that he was here with you and still alive. For how much longer he would be alive, no one was certain.

“You can leave them. Even if you don’t take refuge with us, you can escape,” you pleaded. Theo softly shook his head and pressed his lips to your forehead.

“No, y/n, I can’t. I’m bound to him until one of us dies. I…” he trailed off. You frantically started shaking your head at him and he sighed. “We knew this was going to happen.”

“You might have known. I held out hope,” you cried. Theo grabbed your chin gently, using the other hand to wipe away the stray tears. “Promise me you won’t die.”

“Y/n…”

“Promise me, Theo.”

His response never came. Theo pulled you into him and kissed you so tenderly, that it was beyond out of character for him. You knew this was the end. He softly ran his hands down your sides, over your back, anywhere they could grasp. It felt as though he was trying to remember the exact shape of your body. He eventually tried to pull away, but in return, you softly bit his lip and pulled him back in.

Theo couldn’t bring himself to let go of you. You were intoxicating in a way that no drug or drink could replicate. Not breaking the kiss, Theo hoisted you onto a table that was just behind you. Laying you down on it, he kept kissing you. Along your jaw, down your neck – Theo kissed you anywhere with an exposed bit of skin. You couldn’t stop yourself from crying, to which Theo then kissed away your tears. When he was finished, he pulled you up into a sitting position.

“Love, you are the only thing in this short existence of mine that I’ve ever been sure of. When I die, I can die happily because I knew you. I got to love you.” Theo whispered, his voice cracking as he professed to you. You leaned your forehead against him, looking him straight in the eye.

“Try to survive, Theo, please. For me,” you pleaded. Theo nodded briefly but was interrupted by a banging on the door.

“Hurry up, it’s getting dark. We need to leave,” Bill’s voice called out. Bill and Ron both reappeared in the room, looking at the two of you expectantly.

“We need to leave, and you still haven’t given us what we came for,” Bill sighed. Theo tensed and pulled himself away from you, putting his facade back on as if it were a costume. Part of you wished he didn’t, just so they could see the real him.

“The Dark Lord plans to raid Hogsmeade, again. You need to make sure everyone is evacuated. He doesn’t plan on ever having to raid them again. In two days, if you don’t create a plan, everyone still living there will be dead.”

“And will you be one of the Death Eaters killing those people?” Ron inquired.

“If it means that it keeps me alive, and keeps a steady stream of information coming to you, yes. I have never been unclear with my intentions.” Theo said. He was significantly taller than Ron, forcing the redhead to look up at him as Theo walked closer to him, slowly.

“We don’t have time for this,” Bill said, getting visibly anxious. “We’re leaving,” Bill added, grabbing you and Ron both by the arm.

Everything happened so fast after that – you reached out for Theo, but he backed away from you and you could’ve sworn you saw a tear run down his face. Just like that, you were whisked away, Bill choosing that moment to apparate. You didn’t get to say goodbye; you didn’t get to tell him you loved him for the last time.

Three days later, after their failed attempt at raiding Hogsmeade, you and your family watched in horror as Voldemort was broadcasting yet another round of executions. This wasn’t the first time this had happened – the first time being with his son, Mattheo, a boy you had known in school. You can’t recall the exact reason for his death, but it set a standard. If Voldemort would kill his child in such ways, what would he do to others?

You held your breath as the camera view panned down the small row of people awaiting their death. You felt the wind get knocked out of you when you caught sight of him.

The boy you loved was there, his eyes already dead. His appearance was, somehow, much worse than when you had last seen him. The bruising around his neck that had almost been healed was now back in full display, accompanied by bruises all over his face. He had blood dried around his mouth and nose, and his left eye was so swollen that it looked completely closed. Something told you that death was merciful compared to what he had been put through.

Voldemort rambled on about the first three men, killing them quickly. His smile never failed, especially when he turned to the last victim: Theo.

“Theodore Nott, what would your father say?” He teased. He pulled a wand out of the box that a servant of his carried at his side. Raising it, you recognized it to be Theo’s. Voldemort snapped it in half, causing a slight flinch to radiate off Theo.

“Stupidly fell in love with a dirty blood traitor, one of those Weasleys. He’s acted as an agent for them this entire time, but of course, I knew from early on. We’ve played a brilliant game of cat and mouse, haven’t we, Nott?” Voldemort, again, laughed. Every muscle in Theo’s body was tensed up and he never lifted his face to look at the crowd that had gathered or the cameras broadcasting the event.

Noticing Theo's aversion to looking at the crowd, Voldemort ran his fingers through Theo's hair before yanking it back, forcing him to look up. Theo grimaced but finally looked straight at the camera. His good eye bore through you, sending your heart straight to the bottom of your stomach.

You started sobbing, sliding off the couch and crawling towards the hologram showing the entire scene. “Please,” you gasped. Hermione sat behind you, pulling you into her, but you fought her off.

“You were special to me,” Voldemort sighed and raised his wand. You grabbed whatever was closest to you – in this case, a plate someone had been eating off of earlier – and threw it through the hologram. The sound of your sobs and the plate exploding against the wall ricocheted around the hideout.

Another one of your older brothers, Charlie, moved Hermione aside and restrained you. Without doing so, you would’ve hurt yourself or someone else. “Get off me,” you repeatedly screamed, thrashing around on the ground.

Charlie was able to hold you in place on the ground, holding you facedown on the carpet with your arms pinned behind your back. To your horror, you turned your head to the side just in time to see a green light encase Theo in its grip.

The cry you let out was movie-worthy. Using all of your strength, you burst out of Charlie’s grip and jumped up, turning on your surviving family members. “He died for us. He died for us and our cause. You never gave him a chance and never wanted to offer help in return,” you sobbed. Hermione came back to your side and held you in her arms.

You didn’t fight back this time. You sat in her arms and sobbed. You couldn’t stop sobbing as you looked back at the hologram and it was panned to Theo’s dead body. It zoomed in on his face as if to hurt you even more. You watched as Voldemort whispered a simple charm, and flames consumed Theo’s body.

“I hope the Weasleys watching this enjoyed the show. While you watched this we have surrounded your hideout. Even Nott’s Occlumency he worked so hard on for you couldn’t keep me out. Perhaps it’s good that you never trusted him with your exact location, or else this would’ve happened long ago.” Voldemort smiled, and the hologram shut off. There was no noise in the room other than your silent sobs.

Then, the first window exploded.

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manicpixiefelix · 1 day

Text

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 23.

Summary: A conversation between you and Oliver as you both try to distract yourselves from thinking about the day behind, and the night ahead.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

A/N: 2957 words. i split the henrys dinner into two parts because the dinner itself was very different tonally to the conversation with oliver that needed to be had i think. this part is sfw but the next part Will Definitely Not Be :) also im putting more gratuitous shakespeare mentions because i love characters pointing out their own narrative parallels. i feed off of the lovely comments y'all leave, so if you have any thoughts you'd like to share, i always love to hear them!

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

No matter what you wore, these formal events made you feel like you were choking.

Oliver finds you in the shared bathroom a few hours before dinner began, already dressed and agitatedly fussing with your collar in the mirror. Spotting him in the reflection, your scowl doesn't clear, but you do start vocalising the thoughts that had been running through your head.

"Lady Daphne has three children, all under fifteen."

"What?" Oliver, still looking entirely casual in sharp contrast to you, leans against the sink, watching you with interest.

"Tonight; the woman next to you who isn't Ven, she has three children under fifteen, their names are -" squeezing your eyes closed tightly, willing yourself to remember, you swear with frustration as the children's names elude you. You'd managed to find and memorise Henry of Suffolk's children's names - Henry Jr and Charlotte - but you're again feeling like it's not enough. Your collar feels too tight.

Unbuttoning your top button for what must be the fifth time in the past half hour of your indecision, you groan with frustration.

"Are you okay?" Oliver asks carefully, to which you try and waive off his concern. Clearly, it doesn't work, considering he's making his way over to you to rest a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"I'm fine, it's fine," you tried again, though it still comes out with clear irritation. Closing your eyes again you try and calm yourself enough to focus, "I saw their names the other night in my notes, I know this," you hissed under your breath, "Lady Daphne and Lord Henry; he's Sir James' godson and his own sons are named..." you wrinkled your nose, braced against the counter, "they're fucking French names, I know this!"

"Are Lady Daphne and Lord Henry French?" Oliver asks.

"No, they're just pretentious," you bit out, though suddenly it came to you, "Regis, Gabriel, and Louis." A grin lights up your face at that; the tension leaves you for the moment in the wake of your small victory. You feel like you can breathe again. Oliver gives you a hesitant smile, at least glad to see you're feeling better for having finally remembered. Breathing a relief sigh, you turn to him properly, "how are you, Ollie?"

"Should I remember Regis, Gabriel, and Louis at dinner?" He asks with faint hesitancy. You shrugged.

"I'm sure it couldn't hurt," logically you knew your own anxious preparations were often too detailed for what the night would actually require, but if you had information that could help ease Oliver into this world to which he was unaccustomed, you'd offer whatever you could to make him feel prepared.

But when he asks if you want to stay with him while he gets himself ready for the evening, you still find yourself hesitating.

Farleigh had found you that afternoon as you'd been coming back in from your gardening; he looked more than a little irritated, but refused to explain his mood. There was something unusually guarded about him at the time, something almost bordering on reproachful in the way he looked at you.

As your heart sank with realisation, you tried to find a way to explain to him everything that had happened between you, Felix, and Oliver. The tricky part of it all would most certainly be reassuring him that you believed him entirely, while also figuring out a way to explain why you'd given Oliver another chance despite knowing he was lying to you and Felix. There was no way you'd be able to explain yourself in this moment, and Farleigh seemed to realise this too.

"If you have something to say to me," Farleigh told you tersely, glancing over his shoulder where you could both hear Felix chattering loudly to Oliver down another corridor, "if you can bare to tear yourself away from your darling, little Iago," he spits, and you sighed deeply, expression clearly showing your disappointment, which Farleigh paid no mind to, standing to his full height and fixing his cool gaze upon you, "you know where I'll be."

So now, here you were, after almost an hour trying and failing to distract yourself by skimming through Shakespeare's Othello since Farleigh's latest cruel nickname for Oliver had reminded you of it, you'd decided to bite the bullet and get yourself ready. Really you should head over to Farleigh's room and sort things out with him, talk everything through and smooth it all over, but Oliver looks so helpless at the mere thought of what tonight would require. You tell yourself you can always talk to Farleigh later.

The afternoon eases itself into early evening with far less tension than the middle of the day had brought with it. Simply being in Oliver's company does wonders for your nerves. Even if talk between you is limited, the silence is not uncomfortable; Oliver gets himself ready, and you continue to skim the play while splayed out on Oliver's bed, and the duvet that used to be yours, easing each other's anxieties in quiet parallel.

You're looking for a quote you half remember from when you'd studied the play back in high school, a line that would be all too fitting of an offer to Farleigh when you saw him next, picking up on his allusion while trying to assure him you weren't just blindly believing Oliver over him - there.

I am not merry; but I do beguile The thing I am, by seeming otherwise.

You keep the text open on the bedspread before you as Oliver asks you questions about the unspoken scripts that you all must follow throughout the night. There's something like vindication that wells up within you when you realise how easy you find it to talk him through them.

"Do you always wear suits to these things?" Oliver asks carefully in the intimate moment in which you stand before him, doing up the cuffs of his dress shirt.

"The Henrys dinners? Yes," you nod, nimble fingers dancing against the fabric by his wrist. An amused smile makes it's way across your lips as you explain without even really thinking, "the first and last time I wore a cocktail dress to a Henrys dinner I made one of them, Henry Rochester I think, very uncomfortable," you smirked at the memory, and though Oliver's glad to see you're more smug rather than uncomfortable about the memory, he still doesn't quite seem to understand why.

"Because you're...?"

"Technically yes," you huffed a laugh, letting go of the first cuff to do the second, "because he now gets hard thinking about me in a dress and he doesn't know how to feel about it, and I don't want to deal with that." For a moment, the words simmer in the air between you both, and you finish up with the second cuff, stepping back with a pleased little smile. Oliver, however, still seems to be confused, and finally you acquiesce, giving him the final piece of the story;

"It was a very nice dress, Henry was just so bloody wasted he forgot I was the one wearing it when he couldn't see my face when he walked in on Fi and I in the wine cellar decided to stick around and watch with his dick in his hand," you shook your head dismissively at the memory, rolling your eyes but still grinning, "which isn't our fault, it's our wine cellar, he's the one getting drunk and going for a roam on someone else's estate."

It startles a laugh out of Oliver, the sound bright and sharp as his hand comes up reflexively to cover his mouth. Your expression scrunches up, pleased at the sound. In the few moments that follow, you straighten out Oliver's collar as he's giggling to himself, watching you from behind his hand with warmth and something almost adoring.

"I should show you some time," you wet your lips, crossing your arms as you gave him a leering look over, your intentions obvious. Oliver flushes a little, smiling under your gaze.

"The dress?"

"The wine cellar," you corrected, making Oliver laugh once more.

"You sure you're not going to get me drunk and brick me in down there?" He asked, and your eyebrows rose at the unexpected reference to Poe's Cask of Amontillado. At your obvious surprise, Oliver gives a half smile, reminding you that you'd left a book of Poe's work in the drawer by his bed. He'd read it? You're not sure why you're so touched by that, but you are.

"If we end up drunk in the wine cellar, I promise I won't be leaving you alone down there," there's a surprising amount of affection in your voice for what is ultimately some pretty on the nose flirting, but Oliver seems to appreciate it nonetheless.

When you return from your own room with a pair of cufflinks for him, however, his expression is pensive as he's sitting on the edge of the bed, flicking through the copy of Othello you'd left there.

"Thought my party had something to do with the Midsummer Night's Dream one," he says with faint confusion. You've already got the line you'd found earlier memorised, so you're not concerned that he's flicking through, losing your page in the process.

"No, it is, it's just Farleigh -" except you really don't want to tell Oliver exactly what Farleigh had called him, had implied about him with a single, derisive nickname alone. Iago. You shrugged, "he just said something earlier that reminded me of it is all." Then, sitting down beside him, you shoot for a smile, "what are you up to now; tie?"

For a long few moments, Oliver gives you this utterly unreadable expression. You wonder if he knows the play; if he did, he could almost definitely make an educated guess about what Farleigh's comment may have been, especially given the very recent circumstances. Even if you don't know exactly how Oliver would react to something like that, you're not exactly eager to find out.

The moment thankfully does pass without further comment on the play, with Oliver instead standing and heading to the full length mirror by the wardrobe.

"Is your family helping Felix's with paying for Farleigh's uni and stuff?" Oliver asks with genuine curiosity in his voice as he glances at you in the mirror's reflection.

"What?" The question seems to come out of nowhere, and your reaction is entirely genuine.

"I just wondered if that was, you know, part of the reason he was so loyal to you," Oliver shrugged, though there's something almost apologetic in his eyes, "and, I guess, why you knew you could trust him to be so loyal?"

How did he even know the Cattons were helping with Farleigh's education? Your suspicions were with Elspeth, whom you loved despite how much of a gossip she always was, but Oliver admits that Felix had told him about how he and Farleigh were cousins, and Sir James' guilt over his semi-estranged sister, all the way back at Oxford. Ah, makes sense. Part of it was probably to explain why Farleigh was always hanging around them despite his obvious distaste for Oliver. It takes you a beat to compose your thoughts; knowing both Oliver, and Farleigh, you had to be deliberately sure of whatever information you shared in this moment.

"I'd give Farleigh anything if he asked," you admitted, wearing a faint, sad little smile as you recall how coldly he'd looked at you earlier that day, "but he never has," you shook your head, "not about something like that at least. Why?"

Looking over at the mirror, you see Oliver with his tie done up, looking at you in the reflection as though you're a puzzle he's desperately attempting to solve. But, when you smile, he returns the look in kind.

"I think this might just be one of those times where I have to remember you telling me there's more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in my philosophy," Oliver says with a wry smile, and you can't help but laugh at the memory of your first proper conversation with him about your friendship with Farleigh on one of Oxford's many rooves.

"Farleigh is simply one of my best friends; I don't begrudge him his pride, it's part of who he is, and I love who he is," with your warm laughter, the mood in the room has lightened considerably, and you finally stand. Wrapping your arms around Oliver from behind, perching your chin on his shoulder, you take in the sight of you both in the mirror.

"You know, I think you'd look so beautiful in a dress if you ever wanted to wear one," you tell Oliver idly, handing over the box with the little, golden cufflinks that you'd been fidgeting with on the bed.

"Beautiful enough to give an old man a sexuality crisis?" He asked with a blithe grin, pulling out of your grip if only to make his way to the cupboard where his jacket had been hung.

"Oh, undoubtably," you don't even hesitate, sitting yourself in the arm chair by the window, watching him once more.

"Don't know if I could start with a cocktail dress," he says, gazing at himself in the mirror with a pleasantly thoughtful look in his eyes as he genuinely considers the idea. Then, "I think I trust you with this more than I trust me," he gives a suddenly self conscious chuckle, ducking his gaze, fidgeting with the collar of the jacket he was still holding.

"You don't have to start anywhere if you don't want," you assured him faintly, but Oliver's smile is so damn affectionate.

"It's fuckin' impossible to describe the kind of effect you have," he tells you, shaking his head, "if you say I'd look beautiful, all I know is that I think I want to look beautiful, just so long as it's you who's looking at me."

"I feel very lucky sometimes," you give an endeared hum at his words, grinning to yourself, "my beautiful boys." Oliver, jacket now on, freezes. He's turning a delightful shade of red at that, looking like he was trying and failing to fight off a pleased grin. Finally, he meets your gaze in the mirror, "would you let me put together a costume for you, for your birthday?"

"What?"

"It's a costume party after all, could I put together a costume for you? Not a cocktail dress, I promise," you teased, and Oliver finally turned back to you, regarding you with nothing but love and affection.

"You know, sometimes I still can't believe you give me the time of day," the words almost seem to surprise him as they leave his lips. Something in your chest tightens, and you pause, once again caught off guard by Oliver Quick. There's a sweetness to the way he speaks that has butterflies fluttering so strangely in your stomach, "you're so..." he turns the words over in his mind, looking for the correct one, before he finally settles, "you're a dream," he says simply, "I don't think you don't get enough credit."

His words fill the sudden silence of the early evening as he steps towards you, cufflinks in hand, offering them as a silent request for assistance. You agree without even thinking.

In the back of your mind, you hear Farleigh calling Oliver Iago, but you can't bring yourself to care. Yes, Oliver spent enough time around you, observing you, talking to you, being in your space, that he knows exactly what to say and how to say it to endear himself to you. Clearly he's genuinely fond of you, but it's not often he gives you a compliment like this. Everything always so deliberate.

But it feels so fucking good to have someone put in the effort for you, someone other than Felix. Felix had always known how you worked, what songs to sing to make you dance if the whim ever struck him. It almost overwhelms you to realise that Oliver had learned how to hum along to the quiet song your heart sings too.

You wonder if you should tell Oliver that he doesn't need to try and manipulate his way into your life, that you'd already made a place for him here, all he had to do was ask to stay.

"I keep giving you the time of day because I'm very, very vain," you can't bring yourself to face his sincerity with any of your own, or you think you may either start crying, or possibly jump his bones, and it's too close to dinner for either. Instead, you grin from ear to ear, teasing tone letting him know how clearly you were joking, as you fixed the first cufflink to his jacket's sleeve, "and you keep saying lovely things about me."

"Lucky for me then that I don't think I'll ever run out of lovely things to say about you," you'd forgotten just how well Oliver could flirt when he really wanted to. Eyes bright and smile brighter, you can see mischief sparkling in his eyes when you look up, meeting his gaze. You love this boy so much it feels like it hurts at times like this.

"Think that means I should keep you very close by, at all times."

"Very few places I'd rather be, sweetheart."

That beautiful bastard knew exactly what he was doing to you.

Later, out of this space, out of this moment, out of Oliver's arms, you could go back to worrying about the night, about all the lies oscillating around your whole situation, about Felix and Farleigh and Venetia. Later, you'll find yourself thinking that Farleigh may have had far more of a point with Othello than you'd first realised when you read 'one that loved not too wisely, but too well' before you put the text back on the shelf.

Later.

Right now, you let Oliver pull you in for a kiss.

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #felix catton x reader #saltburn x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #oliver quick x reader #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #oliver quick imagine #oliver quick x y/n #oliver quick x you #venetia catton imagine #venetia catton x you #venetia catton x reader #venetia catton x reader x felix catton #head heart hand fic #manic writer

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destinygoldenstar · 2 days

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'Jax is an NPC'

Hm... ... ...

No.

It's a good theory, don't get me wrong, I see the evidence, I see where you're coming from.

But it's not a theory I agree with. Let me explain.

Caine's line "But if I start losing track of who's a human and who's an NPC who knows what could happen" is very vague as is. This could mean a whole lot of things.

I said this in another post of one of my own theories. I think it's possible that Caine could've killed a human player and his trauma of that was showing.

We know A.I's can shed traumatic emotions. Look at Gummigoo.

Now, yes, Caine couldn't 100% kill a human. Otherwise he would delete the abstractions. And it seems like human players abstract when they die and that's the only way they CAN die.

So therefore Caine having killed a human player should be thrown out as a possibility.

BUT. Hear me out.

Abstractions are shown to be able to glitch several in game objects because of their abstraction. And we actually do NOT see if all the abstractions look exactly the same as Kaufmo's abstraction.

They could very well not.

Going to biblical text, Caine was the first murderer and received a permanent consequence.

Could a permanent consequence be, idk, failing at your programmed job over and over again and be forced to watch these humans abstract and perish forever?

Especially if because of the human player death's abstraction glitch, is WHY the other human players cannot leave the game!

If you look at Pomni's room in one shot, there's a couple of blocks that are stacked from top to bottom 'ABXEL'.

Could it be that the human player Caine killed was named Abel?

But there is also the other possibility that somehow, there is an NPC among the circus. So let me explain my thought on that possibility.

I don't think it's possible.

I think Caine would've noticed, especially if he immediately recognized GummiGoo wasn't supposed to be there.

If one of the circus folks were an NPC, their figure would've appeared with the others in the backrooms.

Now, there is the possibility that it was placed somewhere else, that place is huge after all. So take that with a grain of salt.

I'm not completely eliminating the 'Jax is an NPC' theory.

I get the evidence. He's constantly breaking the fourth wall. But I think that more so has to do with what I’m about to say.

He has keys to people's rooms. I get that one. That is definitely sus as hell and I'm not denying it is sus.

He also ‘lacks human physics.’

So does everyone else in the cast. Pomni can stretch her body out like Elastagirl. Ragatha has stuffing instead of blood. Kinger has his own glitchy moments. Gangle has two faces. Zoobles body can fall apart.

I’m just saying. These are not human physics either. So Jax being able to keep in place whenever he wants being only a Jax thing is not too far fetched compared to all these other examples.

But I also think, and this is my opinion, that he's much more compelling as a character as a sociopathic human player that is beyond saving and MENTALLY cannot be humanized again.

What I mean by that is that while he is TECHNICALLY a human player, MENTALLY, he is so detached from his humanity and moral code often associated with humanity that he acts more NPC-like as a side effect.

Jax is not designed to be a morally grey character. He is written to be the least moral of the entire show.

It would be SO EASY to excuse those moral wrongdoings as 'well they were never human to begin with'.

But I think that's the lazy way out, and I think this show is smarter than that.

Because here is the thing, there ARE some really REALLY terrible humans. Evil humans in fact.

WHY they're so terrible varies, but that doesn't make them less terrible.

And yes while some terrible people can get redeemed if they themselves can, this is NOT absolute. There are people that are just plain beyond saving. So beyond saving that they ditch their moral code, a code drilled into the human mind, that they SEEM inhuman to humans who can't relate.

This is a very real psychological thing.

With how many morally grey characters get thrown around as compelling these days, Jax NOT being written that way and instead being written as the morally worst would naturally make people go 'he must not be human'.

In psychology, behavior like that doesn't physically inhumanize them, but it MENTALLY does, they behave in a set of rules so different from the normal that it's corrupt to the normal.

So I think he is a human player like the others. But his MENTALITY is not, so he ACTS NPC-like as a side effect to that mental loss.

Not every human is morally grey and get cozy redemption arcs. There are some truly awful people in the world with no redeemable qualities whatsoever. I like that he represents that. I like that there's a character on this show that acts as that huge wake-up call of 'Yeah some people just plain suck and you shouldn't have to deal with them.'

But while I don't think Jax being an NPC would be the best route to take. That is just my opinion and I am not the one writing the show. If that IS the route they are taking, I am fine with that so long as it is written with proper care. I could definitely be reading this wrong.

#the amazing digital circus #amazing digital circus #digital circus #tadc jax #tadc caine #tadc theory

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animasola86 · 3 days

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SMUT DRABBLES*: Car Inspection

A/N: Yet another little smut scene, *no longer a drabble (Drabble? Who's she?), but still short. Like with my other drabbles, you can imagine any character you want here, it's usually just a man and a woman having a good time. Today I give you oral sex, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected sex and creampies. And cars (so think up an AU where it works, if you will).

WARNING: NSFW! Explicit sexual content! // WORDS: 1.3k // AO3

“Lemme take a look under the hood, miss,” he's said, and now she's sitting on the warm metal, gripping his broad shoulders, legs held open by strong hands, while he has his head buried under her skirt.

His tongue is as hot as the sun batting down on them, licking through her folds with fervor and certainty, expert motions, warm lips, teasing teeth, kissing, sucking, nibbling, pulling her sensitive skin into his mouth, nose rubbing against her clit.

He's lapping at her like a man starved, the slurping and squelching noises mixing with the chirp of cicadas, the subtle squeak of the car beneath her, her own rapid breaths. He's good, knows what to do, where to look and lick. She's come to the right place.

Her skirt obstructs the view, but she's still on display, writhing and squirming, bare feet squeaking over the metal hood in an attempt to anchor herself. He's ruthless in his assault, focusing now fully on that sensitive bundle of nerves, flicking his tongue around it, laving it, sucking on it.

She's losing it, her head spinning, it's too hot, the air is stale and dry, and her lungs are protesting. The tension in her belly is like a burning thing, growing and expanding, filling her out like she wishes he would fill her out.

He groans into her, the sound vibrating through her clenching cunt. His hands move, one big palm pressed to her stomach, forcing her down on her back, the other slipping under the tent of her skirt as well. He's teasing her, nibbling on her clit while his fingers slide through her slick before they take a dip into her heat, plunging deep, two at once, pushing in and out, scissoring inside her, stretching, massaging, curling against that sweet spot.

She arches her back, shoulders pressed into the hood, cries out, thighs trembling around his shoulders, her own shaking hand gripping at his wrist, nails sinking into his skin before he slips his long fingers between hers, holding her hand, heavy on her stomach. He pumps his other digits into her, licks her clit, the tension explodes within her. Their joined hands hold her down when she convulses, jerks her hips against his face and fingers, shivering under the hot sun.

He licks up every drop with broad strokes of his tongue, his fingers moving slower, bringing her down gently before they retreat, gripping her twitching thigh, warm and slick and strong, while he pushes his mouth to her lower lips, kisses her deeply, tongue pressing into her quivering hole.

She wails again, quietly in the open space, her voice drowned by the screeching insects trying to be louder.

He's shifting, emerging from under her skirt, nose and lips and chin glistening in her juices, hair messy, face flushed. She's also red in the face, panting, trying to avoid those hungry eyes. His hands find her warm cheeks when he straightens up, towering over her.

His kiss tastes tangy, salty, sweet, all at once and more, her own taste on his tongue as he claims her mouth. She moans into it, clinging to his bare back, sweat slick and strong, muscles flexing beneath sun touched skin. He pushes her up the hood of the car, his hips between her shaking legs, pinning her down, skirt flipped up entirely now. His body is blocking the view, she couldn't care less who sees her.

With his tongue wrestling hers, he grips her waist, one hand disappearing between them, the clink of a belt, the whirring scrape of a zipper, a little groan when he grips his cock and guides it to her dripping cunt. She moans into his mouth, fingernails sinking into his skin while he sinks into her, small frantic rolls of his hips as he slowly fucks her open, stretches her, fills her, in and out, inch by inch until he's bottomed out.

His hands on her hips pull her into him, closer, deeper, her legs spasm against him before she hooks them around his thick thighs. Muscles flex under denim, his grip rough as he starts pulling out to slam back in, over and over again, his grunts as loud as her moans, the kiss messy and breathless.

She's lightheaded, sun-burnt, a sweaty mess in his strong grip, her hands gripping at his waist, leaving angry crescent-shaped marks as she squirms against him, trying to meet his thrusts.

He leans back, leaving her tingling lips, presses his forehead to hers, eyes staring into her soul, warm and dark and mesmerizing, hungry, breaths hot and dizzying, mingling. His hips slam into her slower, deeper, setting an excruciating rhythm, taunting, teasing, slow and steady while they're both burning under the sun, the heat inside her belly almost as unbearable.

She's whimpering, grinding her pelvis into him, digs her heels into his lower back, eyes pleading. The smirk on his lips makes her angry, growling through her gritted teeth. His hands tighten around her hips, fingers bruising, and when he leans back fully, a barely there shadow falling onto her shaking body, looking down at her, he stops moving altogether, cock hard and swollen inside her clenching cunt.

She wants to protest, whine, beg, but he only looks at her, tilting his head, before he slowly moves back, cockhead scraping against her tight walls, before he slams back in with a force that makes her yelp, flinch, cry out, as he hits her deepest spot, tip squished against her cervix.

The pain is there, sharp, short, dissipating slowly before it's back, dragging retreat, the hint of reprieve, then another deep stab, hard, fast, agonizing. Again and again, until he grows impatient and just hammers into her, her moans and cries broken up, voice strained, helpless, as his cock pistons in and out, rough and unrelenting, and all she can do is take it.

He grunts, sweat running down his temple, a fine sheen on his bare torso, muscles flexing, his teeth bared and gritted, hands digging into her soft skin. Pull, push, stab. Pull, push, stab. Her own sweat mixes with tears, her cries soundless little puffs of air, her head filled with vertigo and bliss, pain and pleasure. One big hand splayed on her hip, the other moving between them, thumb pressing hard against her clit, and she yelps again, and again, coming hard around his pounding cock, juices coating his length, squelching out with every deep slam.

The car is rocking beneath them, suspension squeaking, needs to be oiled. She's come to the right place. Come at the right place. Over and over again until she's a boneless mess, lying on the hood of her car, arms splayed out beside her, sweaty palms squeaking over metal with every deep thrust, body moved up and down, insides convulsing, muscles contracting, tight around his thick cock. He grunts, groans, huffs, head red under the sun, under the exertion, working overtime.

He comes with a low growl, animalistic, body twitching against her, burying himself deep within her clenching heat, balls tightening, cock spasming, filling her with his hot seed, spurt after burning spurt. She gasps when his hand pushes on her stomach, before he slowly pulls out, panting, eyes glued to her reddened pussy, watching intently, an expert's eye, head tilted, then he slaps his hand on her folds, making her wince.

She's pulled onto her feet, barely able to think, to function, dizzy from the sun and the special service. He lifts her feet, one at a time, puts her panties back on, slides them up her shaking legs. His cum drips down her inner thigh, slowly, slow enough for him to gather it on his finger and push it back up, between her glistening folds, back into her clenching hole. She moans at the sensation, gripping his arm for support. He keeps his finger in her while he pulls her underwear back in place, pumping it slowly before removing it, gently dragging his wet fingertip between her covered folds, trapping his seed.

“I believe there's been a leak, miss,” he says, fixing her skirt, making her presentable again as he looks at her with a proud smile, having found the problem, while she looks up at him with a soft giggle, feeling their combined juices drenching the fabric between her trembling thighs.

MASTERLIST // AO3 // ORIGINAL WORKS

MORE SMUT DRABBLES:

A steamy shower

Toy

#smut #mysmut #ao3 smut #smut drabble #smut writer #smut writing #smut prompts #original smut #sebastian sallow smut #tom riddle smut #mattheo riddle smut #harry potter smut #joel miller smut #arthur morgan smut #supernatural smut #dean winchester smut #mechanic!joel #mechanic!dean

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elvenbeard · 17 hours

Text

OC INTERVIEW - VINCENT EZAKI

(I was tagged by @cybersteal and @arcandoria for this a long while ago, and got real carried away with this idea xD also inspired by everyone else who took the "interview" bit a bit more literally, so yes! :D thank y'all for the great ideas and being an inspiring af fandom!)

Juanita Tseng: V, thank you so much for taking the time today, so happy to have you here! Let me ask, is that your full name?

V: Hah. Well, obviously not, but it’s served me well for many years now.

J: Any special story behind it?

J: What’s not a secret is that most of our viewers only know you as “mystery man” so far, at least that’s how the scream sheets often choose to refer to you. How do you feel about that?

V: Well, nothing I could say against either. I like my privacy and I’m a man, so they got that right at least.

J: Hahaha, that’s fair! Even more so I’m glad we’re getting the opportunity to get to know you a bit better today. As I told you in advance, there’s some burning questions our viewers have, and everyone’s been eagerly submitting them already as we speak. So, without further ado, let’s get to the first one. When is your birthday?

V: It’s in June, but I’d like to leave it at that.

J: Interesting! Gemini or Cancer?

V: Whichever is the one that comes first.

J: That’s fair! Alright, how tall are you?

J: Who is taller?

V: Me of course.

J: Of course! Okay, next question… Ah! Let’s stay on the topic of Kerry for a moment longer. From my last interview with him we know you two met through a mutual friend.

V: That’s right.

J: How did it go? Was it love at first sight, or more of a slow burn?

V: Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him when we first met. But it wasn’t love at first sight, no, more… curiosity. We crossed paths a few more times, also thanks to that friend, and got to know each other better like that. We just clicked. That’s all there is to it really.

J: Awwww, that's so sweet! Now, it’s no secret that Kerry has led a quite adventurous life and there is a bit of an age gap separating you. So, I gotta ask:

J: Only men?

V: Yup. And now the next question please, cause none of it matters.

J: Hahaha, sorry, I know I’m such a tease! But we gotta ask our viewer’s questions! Speaking of which, one of them is curious about your upbringing and cultural heritage!

V: Now that’s a 180° turn. Born and raised in and by Night City. Can’t say much about cultural heritage, as it’s a bit of a mix of many things.

V: Mh-hm.

J: Let me see… would you be up for some quick shotgun-style questions?

V: Ready when you are.

J: Favourite season?

V: Anything that doesn’t involve sandstorms.

J: Favourite flower?

V: Lotus.

J: Favourite Scent?

V: Clean bedsheets.

J: Average hours of sleep?

V: I aim to get at least 7.

J: Numer of Blankets you sleep with?

V: One or none.

J: Favourite Fictional Character?

V: Oh no, uuuhh… Hmm… No, I can’t just choose one.

J: Haha, that’s alright. Would you say you’re a bit of a nerd?

V: Oh yeah, unashamedly. Me getting started about my favorite fictional characters would be a whole interview on its own.

J: Anyway, that’s right on cue, we’re almost out of time for today! I think we could fit one… no, two more questions!

V: Alright, let’s hear ‘em.

J: What would be your dream trip?

V: Hmmm… Kerry asked me to come along for his tour next year. I imagine that could be fun.

J: Oh, definitely! By the way, dear fans, don’t miss out on buying your tickets!

V: Maybe.

J: It’s been really nice to have you here today, V!

V: Thanks again for the invite.

J: As you know, I like to end my show with a random fact, something fun I’ve heard about in the past week or something about myself! Would you like to share a random fact with the viewers today?

V: I try.

J: Haha, well, I'm glad you found your way to my little studio, too! As I said, would love to have you over again anytime!

########## a few minutes later ##########

##############################

Thank you again for the tags! This was so much fun and really turned into its own thing beyond an OC ask meme XD I did this meme before with some slightly different and/or more in-depth answers for anyone curious [here] cause like stated back then, how Vince replies to personal questions always strongly depends on who's asking. And he might be more or less truthful about the information given or keep it all very surface-level instead, too.

For this lil story here the idea was obviously that the whole interview is basically just a promo thing for Kerry's upcoming tour xD So of course Vince is gonna support his bf if it helps boost ticket sales XDD A year earlier he might not have done it even then, because he was veeery reluctant about having their relationship be known beyond telling their closest friends. But here at this point some time in mid-to-late 2078, he'd feel secure enough with his life, their ilfe really, that he wouldn't mind being seen in the public together like this and also "outing" himself like that in front of a larger audience, for lack of a better word. It's the character growth and support of each other and a love language and everything \o/

Also: not sure who to tag at this point cause I think most of you already did this, but if you're reading this and havent answered all of Juanita's questions for your OC yet, consider yourself tagged!

#cyberpunk 2077 #kerry eurodyne #kerry eurodyne x v #cp2077 #Cyberpunk2077 #cyberpunk v #male v cyberpunk #virtual photography #cyberpunk vp #oc ask memes #vincent ezaki #otp: to bad decisions #my vp

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aspoonofsugar · 3 days

Text

Angel and Alastor: Masquerade

Angel and Alastor are the first two demons to join the Hazbin Hotel, as respectively a guest and a staff member. However, both hide their real motivations and feelings towards the project.

On the one hand Angel deep down wants to change, but is too scared to admit it:

And I know I'm raisin' cane by every highway in Hell Maybe things won't be so terrible inside this hotel

On the other hand Alastor has ulterior motives, but he has yet to disclose them:

I'm hungry for freedom like never before The constraints of my deal surely have a back door

In other words, the two demons wear a mask and refuse to reveal their real feelings. This behavior is rooted in two jungian archetypes that can be used to describe Angel and Alastor's parallel arcs.

PERSONA AND SHADOW

According to Jung, the persona and the shadow are two complementary parts of the human mind:

The persona or mask is what lies in the light for others to see. It is what a person shows while interacting with the world.

The shadow or beast is what is hidden in the darkness. It is what a person represses and refuses to reveal to the world.

Both Angel and Alastor wear personas to hide their shadows:

Angel Dust: Oh ho ho, me? Fake? Wow, I had no idea. Guess that's why I'm an actor, dumbass.

Alastor: Just because you see a smile don't think you know what's going on underneath.

However, they are opposites in how they deal with this masquerade.

Angel embodies the persona, as he is linked to masks and lights (he peforms under flashing lights):

He always acts to the point he is trapped in a neverending role:

Angel Dust: It's not an act! It's who I need to be.

So, he doesn't know who he is anymore. Is Angel Dust all there is? Or can Anthony still be found deep down?

Valentino owns Anthony and has forced him in the persona of Angel Dust.

Alastor embodies the shadow, as he is linked to darkness (his powers make use of shadow-creatures):

He represses his feelings behind a smile:

Alastor: A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you're the one in control.

As a result, his darkest instincts are slowly taking over, making him a threath to both others and himself:

As Alastor hides his true intentions, his shadow grows bigger and more malicious.

The two demons perfectly sum up how dangerous the persona and the shadow can be, if left unchecked:

If one constantly wears a mask, it won't come off and will suffocate the person's self.

If one keeps on repressing their emotions, these feelings will grow stronger and find violent ways to come out.

Angel is a persona stuck to the face, whereas Alastor is a festering shadow.

The two characters' similar and yet opposite archetypes are so intertwined in Angel and Alastor's stories that they emerge in two additional ways.

1- Structurally

Angel is the only supporting character, who gets a whole episode dedicated to himself. He is the protagonist of Masquerade's A plot, whereas Charlie gets the B plot. He steals the spotlight (LIGHT)

Alastor is a character, who is never the protagonist of an episode. He gets development through the B plots, whereas others, like Lucifer, get the A plots. He thrives in the shadows (SHADOW)

2- Through Angel and Alastor's media motifs

PORN STAR AND RADIO DEMON

Angel is an actor, whereas Alastor is a radio host. These two medias tie into both the characters' bonds and identities.

Angel - The porn star

Bonds - In porn movies, actors fake pleasure on camera. Similarly, Angel Dust only knows fake love. He is trapped in unhealthy relationships and lets others exploit him. Be them Valentino or some random dudes in a bar:

Angel Dust: You don't think I can tell if someone spikes my drink? I do this all the fuckin' time!

At the same time, Angel himself approaches everyone in an overly sexual way:

Angel Dust: No activity requires more trust than BDSM, baby. No bond stronger than those formed through bondage!

It is not by chance that he suggests to bond through bondage. It is because for him sex equals bonds. However, this approach makes so he is unable to create genuine romantic relationships.

Identity - To act means to play the part of someone you are not, which is what Angel does all the time:

Husk: I see right through you and all this bullshit and how fake you are.

He hides behind his drag queen character to protect himself:

Angel Dust: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity. Oh, I got the legs. The gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits.

In other words, Angel's life is made of fake relationships (porn) and of a fake self (star). This characterization is perfect for a living persona.

Alastor - The radio demon

Bonds - Alastor's radio podcast is made of the voices of his many victims:

Mimzy: No one knew what happened to 'em, until these strange radio broadcasts started going out. All you could hear were screams. Every time an overlord went missing, there'd be a new voice screaming in the broadcast! That's when Alastor revealed himself as the radio demon, and anyone that would mess with him… well, let's just say, his broadcasts never lacked new voices.

He takes others' voices and souls to grow stronger. At the same time, it is implied Alastor has also the potential to amplify one's voice. This is why he symbolically shares his staff with Charlie and helps her go through to the Cannibals:

This fits the shadow, as this part of the self is simply what a character represses, both positive and negative. Similarly, Alastor can:

Manipulate others' insecurities and take advantage of them

Help others realize their hidden potential, so they can grow

Identity - Radio stars perform only through their voices and have no need to show their face in public. In other words, this media lets people hide in shadows. Similarly, Alastor uses the radio-filter to mask his voice:

Alastor: (with absolutely no static) What just happened? notices broken microphone …fuck.

So, Alastor hides everything of himself, both positive and negative, behind a filter. That is why he is a walking shadow.

Angel and Alastor's medias are important also to explore their relationships with Valentino and Vox.

Valentino is a cinema producer and director. He frames himself as the reason of Angel's success, while profitting of the porn star's acting career (producer). At the same time, he wants to control and direct every part of Angel's life (director). He is Angel's abuser both economically and romantically.

Vox is the TV demon and Alastor's rival. In the real world TV and radio fought to affirm themselves as the preferred media and the former eventually won. Similarly, Vox and Alastor's friendship turned into animosity. In the end, Alastor disappeared and Vox took over. Vox is the future. Alastor is a "has been".

At the same time, Valentino and Vox tie into Angel and Alastor's respective archetypes. In particular:

Valentino is the shadow character that complements Angel's persona symbolism

Vox is the persona character that complements Alastor's sadow symbolism

All these ideas are conveyed by two songs.

POISON AND STAYED GONE

Poison and Stayed Gone are similar in how:

They describe Angel and Alastor's relationship with a Vee

They play with medias (cinema, radio and TV)

They use shadow/light symbolism

Poison - Love potion

Poison describes Angel's bond with Valentino through what is basically a pop music video, which starts like this:

Valentino: And… action.

This is fitting, as Valentino controls Angel from behind the scenes, both as a director (public life) and as an abuser (private life). The song itself is a mix of clips that juxtapose porns and musical routines with scenes of sexual and domestic violence. This choice emphasizes the contrast between performance and reality, as well:

On the one hand Angel happily dances on-stage, enjoys drugs and money. On the other hand he screams in agony, while scared and trapped. At the same time, the lines between appearance and truth grow blurried. Angel is supposedly just filming a porn. However, as the song progresses, the violence becomes real and he is in pain as he is recorded. In the end, it becomes difficult to differentiate what's an act from what's not. Just like Angel struggles to separate his work-life from his personal life, pain from pleasure, persona from self:

I got so good at bein' untrue I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear I disassociate, disappear

He is untrue because he keeps wearing a persona (mask), which is why the song is full of references to the archetype.

Both in its lyrics:

Another lover underneath those flashin' lights Another one of those ruthless nights

And in its visuals:

Before the video Angel's wounds are covered by make-up (a mask)

Angel sparkles on screen (light), while he is being dragged away by Valentino

Meanwhile Valentino is directly associated to the shadow:

He is the beast threathening Angel and using the spider demon's worst instincts against him:

Yeah, I know it's poison You're feedin' me poison I'm chokin' from the taste and I can't help but swallow Up your poison I made my choice, and Every night I'm wasted like there's no tomorrow

As a matter of fact Valentino encourages Angel's dependance on drugs to better control him. This is why "addiction" becomes a metaphor for his and Angel's relationship:

The red smoke Valentino uses to tie Angel to himself may be the secret ingredient behind the Vee's love potion.

Theirs is an abusive bond, a love potion which poisons Angel's life, but is too irresistible to escape.

Stayed Gone - Radio Killed the Video Star

Stayed Gone shows Vox and Alastor's rivalry through a duet that starts with TV:

Vox: Welcome home I'm gonna make you wish That you'd stayed gone Say hello To a new status quo Everyone knows that there's a brand new dawn Turn the TV on!

And ends with radio:

Alastor: Let's begin… I'm gonna make you wish That I'd stayed gone Tune on in When I'm done Your status quo Will know its race is run Oh, this will be fun!

An inversion of what happened in the real world, where the superior technology conquered the market. As a matter of fact Vox is supposedly the future, whereas Alastor is "old crap":

Vox: You're looking at the future! He's the shit that comes before that!

And yet, Alastor wins the confrontation. Why is that so? That has to do with Vox and Alastor's respective jungian archetypes:

Vox is the persona, as TV is a medium where you are asked to show your face on screen and to appear in the light

Alastor is the shadow, as radio is a medium that let's you hide:

While he hid in radio We pivoted to video Now his medium is getting bloody rare!

This specific juxtaposition is referenced in the title of the episode itself. As a matter of fact Radio Killed the Video Star is a joke on the famous song Video Killed the Radio Star, whose main thesis was that new technologies like TV would have conquered the show-business and forced performers to expose themselves more. Radio instead is seen as a more safe medium because a person can avoid revealing their appearance. In other words, TV is the persona medium par excellance, while radio is the perfect shadow technology. So, Vox and Alastor's musical number is built on light and shadow imagery:

Vox starts the song speaking of a brand new dawn and switching the TV on, as the room gets full of light.

Alastor ends the song transforming into his demon form and appearing as a big shadow on Vox's monitors.

Vox puts up a self-assured persona, who breaks the moment Alastor reveals the TV demon's secret:

Alastor: And here's the sugar on the cream He asked me to join his team (Vox: Hold on!) I said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea! Vox: (glitches) You old-timey prick I'll show you suf-ffering! Alastor: Uh oh, the TV is buffering Vox: (glitches) I'll destroy yoo-o-u-u, you little—! Alastor: I'm afraid you've lost your signal

As a result, there is a black out. That is because symbolically Vox isn't able to accept his repressed emotions. So, the shadow takes over.

In other words:

Vox is the persona, the light, order and the future

Alastor is the shadow, the darkness, chaos and the past

A person can't face their future if they don't solve their past. This is true for Vox, but also for Alastor, who is clearly as angry at Vox as the Vee is at him. The difference is that ironically Vox is slightly more open about his feelings.

This is a big juxtaposition between Angel and Alastor, as well:

Poison is a song where Angel openly sings about his trauma and contradictions. It is one of the most introspective songs in the whole season 1 soundtrack.

Stayed Gone is the closest there is to an Alastor's song and yet it is not his. Vox starts the song and Alastor steals it. It is Vox who exposes himself, whereas Alastor reveals nothing.

In short, both Angel and Alastor repress themselves, but at least Angel can be honest, as he openly sings about his depression and desperation:

Poison, I'm drownin' in poison I'm fillin' up my glass but it's always hollow Full of poison, I'm sick of the poison Wish I had somethin' to live for tomorrow

Alastor instead can't be honest, even as he sings alone:

"Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends"? Sorry to disappoint… That is not where this ends!

This contrast becomes clear in the two characters' reactions to the Hazbin Hotel's Old Wise Man:

Husk: Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfuckers at this point.

YOU'RE A LOSER, BABY

Husk offers wisdom to others:

Angel Dust: Oh, I forgot. You're the wise old bartender who's seen it all.

He does so with both Angel:

Husk: Look, if you've got a problem, you're not going to find the solution at the bottom of a bottle. I should know, I've been looking there a long time.

And Alastor:

Husk: You and I both know Mimzy only shows up when she needs something. That bitch is trouble, and who knows what kind of demon she fucked with to come running to you this time?

However, the two demons react in opposite ways.

Even if initially Angel gets angry at Husk, he eventually understands he and Husk are suffering a similar fate:

Husk: I was an Overlord once, you know. Yeah, and uh… It was nice to have that power. But when you're dealing in souls while also being a gambler, the stakes are pretty high. And losing a few hands can be more than a little dangerous. So when you're down on your luck, you turn to anything to…Keep you afloat. Even making deals yourself. So I know what it's like to… Regret the choices made… And knowin' ya can't take it back.

Even if eventually Alastor follows Husk's advice about Mimzy, he refuses to accept he and Husk are just the same:

Husk: Big talk for someone who's also on a leash.

Husk challenges both Angel and Alastor with the same knowledge: everyone in Hell is a loser. Angel might be a celebrity and Alastor a powerful overlord, but both have screwed up and are paying for their mistakes. If they admit it, though, they might find someone ready to help them, even in Hell:

Angel Dust: You're a loser, baby Husk: A loser, but just maybe if we Both: Eat shit together, things will end up differently

Angel sees a mirror of himself in Husk and chooses to empathize with him:

Angel Dust: I'm a loser, honey A schmoozer and a dummy But at least I know I'm not alone Husk: You're a loser Both: Just like me

In this way, he can start accepting himself and can take off the mask suffocating him.

Alastor is confronted by his most vulnerable part in Husk and chooses to treat him cruelly:

Alastor: If you ever say that again, I will tear your soul apart and broadcast your screams for every other disrespectful wretch who dares to question me!

This means he isn't ready to integrate with his shadow. He can't face his most disliked and repressed side.

At the same time, Angel and Alastor's respective interactions with Husk highlight another foiling they have:

Angel is abused and controlled by Valentino. Alastor abuses and controls Husk. In other words Angel is a weak prey, whereas Alastor is a strong predator.

PREDATOR AND PREY

Angel is Valentino's prey, whereas Alastor is a predator of souls. This comparison can be explored in two different ways:

Angel and Alastor's foiling with respectively Vox and Valentino

Angel and Alastor's animal motifs

1 - Dark foils

Angel's conflict is with Valentino and Alastor's is with Vox. However, Angel foils Vox, whereas Alastor foils Valentino. As a matter of fact Angel and Vox are both self-made preys, while Alastor and Valentino are both wannabe predators.

Now, prey might be a little too strong for Vox. Still, what I mean is that both Angel and him are trapped in abusive relationships with Valentino. Sure, Angel's one is particularly bad because the difference in power is bigger:

Valentino: You think she can get you out of work? You know she can't do anything. I own you. Or have you forgotten that?

Angel is not only Valentino's romantic interest, but also his employee. Valentino literally owns Angel's soul and can do with him what he pleases.

Vox and Valentino are instead more or less on pair. However, there are hints about their bond being unhealthy:

Vox: 'Oh god. Here I go, Valentino.' Just another fucking day with Val. Hey-hey-hey. Fuck my life.

The Vees' introduction has Valentino violently lashing out and Vox being forced to deal with him. It is obvious their partnership has toxic undertones.

In short, Angel and Vox are sexually and romantically tied to Valentino, but deep down dislike him. And yet, they don't leave him. This happens because both have frail identities they mask with happy and self-assured personas.

So, Angel acts proud of his porn movies, but deep down he is unsure of who he is and believes he isn't strong enough to change:

Valentino: You actually think you can change? Addict trash like you doesn't change. I'll see you soon, baby.

Vox instead behaves as a successful businessman, but he is actually scared he would be nobody without his alliance with Valentino and Velvette:

Alastor: Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees!

Angel thinks he can't leave and Vox chooses not too. Still, both are limited by weak senses of self. They force themselves to play the prey.

When it comes to Alastor and Valentino, both are predators of souls. They prey on weaker demons, like Angel and Husk, but they also try to make contracts with stronger beings.

This is shown by the way they interact with Charlie:

Charlie: I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no… tricks or voodoo strings attached. Alastor: So, it's a deal, then? Charlie: Nope! No shaking! No deals! I… hmm… As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel. For as long as you desire.

Valentino: Welcome to my humble sex dungeon. What can I do for such a-- Mm! Lovely specimen! You don't want a role, do you? Because I can make you a star, make us both richer than, well, your papito--

They meet the Princess of Hell and offer to enter partnerships with her, so that they can use her. Obviously Alastor is intended as a gray character, while Valentino as a pitch black one. However, they are pretty similar in how they manipulate others:

Charlie: How? I'll do anything. Alastor: Anything? Then… let's make a deal.

Valentino: Put something inside them. That's how I get the bitches to behave.

Alastor takes advantage of Charlie's self-hate and desperation to force her into a pact. Valentino uses drugs to make his employees dependant on him. And yet, they are both far from unstoppable.

Vox: Heh. What are you doing, Val? You're not going over there. Valentino: That slippery twink is gonna remember who owns him. I'm gonna FUCK everyone in that rancid shit hole, I swear to god! Vox: VAL- Hehe. Think about it.

Alastor: it's nothing I can't handle. Don't worry Husker. Who in their right mind would cross me? Husk: I mean, you've been gone a while, and it's not like anybody knows why.

Valentino is impulsive and leaves obvious loopholes in his contracts. Alastor is smarter, but he is not as feared or as strong as he would desire. They like the feeling of power, but their control over others is not as firm. A moment may be all it takes for them to become preys. They give in to violence and behave like beasts because they wanna make sure they stay predators.

Vox and Val are darker versions of Angel and Alastor. They are who the two hazbins might become if they don't fix their flaws:

Vox is a person who chooses to appear strong (persona) over being happy

Val is a slave of his worst instincts (shadow) and has no genuine relationship whatsoever

At the same time, it is clear the dychotomy between prey and predator isn't as cut and dry.

2- Spider and Deer

Angel is a prey and Alastor is a predator. And yet, their animal motifs say otherwise:

Angel is a spider, a predator.

Alastor is a deer, a prey.

Why is that so?

That is because Angel is repressing his most powerful and aggressive side. Alastor instead is hiding his most frail and vulnerable part.

Angel comes from an influent criminal family to the point that his spider motif alludes to their wide web of criminal activities. As a result, he lives a violent life, but chooses to distance himself from it in Hell. According to Word of God, he decides to leave violence and fighting (Anthony) behind to explore sexuality and love (Angel Dust). However, the end result is that he is now trapped in a different way. As a human, he is forced to cultivate his most masculine traits. As a demon, he is valued only for his feminine ones. So, Angel is a porn star, who hides a strong fighter:

Angel Dust: Eat lead, sucka!! I told ya. I can handle myself baby. Angel pulls out 5 extra guns and begins fighting the rest of the demons with Husk tuntil all the shark demons are reduced to blood and guts. Husk: Well, that was something I didn't expect to see. Angel Dust: Like I said, you don't know me. Sex ain't the only thing I'm good at. Husk: Good to know, cause this guy ain't that bad.

He is a spider tired of his own web, who ends up prisoner of a moth. The challenge is for him to reconcile his two sides (masculine and feminine) and to find people who accept him as a whole person. He must forge a brand new web of healthy and supportive bonds.

Alastor is a radio host and a serial killer who buries his victims in a hunting ground only to be mistaken for a deer and killed. In Hell he chooses to live as he did on Earth to the point he doesn't even change his name. He keeps being both a radio host and a serial killer. He simply fuses his two sides and becomes the Radio Demon. And yet, he is just repeating the same pattern, where he goes from predator (serial killer) to prey (deer). So, he is an overlord preying on overlords, that ends up on the receiving end of a detrimental pact. Symbolically, he hates this part of himself so much that he committs "cannibalism":

He is a deer who eats deers because he can't phatom he might end up on the plate himself. He needs to feel a predator no matter what. And yet, he is a prey deep down and if he could just admit it and ask for help he might change his situation. If he accepted to step into the light and open up he might grow stronger. And yet, he is too proud and too scared. A deer frightened and confused by the headlights, who prefers to hide in shadows, where he feels safe and untouchable.

So, Angel is a prey who hides a predator, while Alastor is a predator who hides a prey. Throughout the season, these repressed parts start emerging.

Positively for Angel:

Angel Dust: Fuck off, Val. Valentino: Excuse me? Angel Dust: I said fuck off! I may have to put up with your bullshit, but you ain't fuckin' with any of my friends! Valentino: You forget who you're talking to? I own you, bitch. Angel Dust: Yeah, you do, in the studio. And you can do anything you want to me there, just like our deal says. But out here, I get to do what I want. So once again, FUCK. OFF.

He manages to slowly free himself of Val's toxic influence and by the end he stands up to his abuser. The spider is growing stronger and soon the moth won't be a problem.

Negatively for Alastor:

Adam: I'm going to wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, CAUSE RADIO IS FUCKING DEAD! Adam flies a few metres into the air and swings his guitar, sending a shockwave towards Alastor. When it dissipates, Alastor has been forced out of his full demon form and his microphone has been snapped in two.

He slowly loses control of his situation to the point that by the end he miscalculates so badly he is almost killed by Adam. The deer can smile as much as he wants, but in the end he can't escape stronger animals.

SAME PROBLEM, OPPOSITE RESOLUTIONS

Angel and Alastor share the same issue. They both can't accept themselves. However, throughout the season their stories go in opposite directions.

Angel makes progress in self-acceptance, so he can start cracking his persona:

Husk: Last day of afterlife, and you're not off snorting a line off some hunk's abs? Angel Dust: Eh, you fucked one cannibal pool boy, you fucked 'em all. Husk: I guess you have changed. Angel Dust: Hey, Charlie said live tonight however we wanted… so pour me a fresh one, and let's get to living!

Alastor refuses to face who he is, so he gets engulfed by the shadow:

It will be interesting to see how their parallel arcs will keep on going in future seasons, how their intertwined conflict and foiling with the Vees will evolve and which role they will have in Charlie's story.

FOUND FAMILY

Angel and Alastor are the first two demons to join the Hazbin Hotel and they grow into members of Charlie's found family:

Alastor: They say the family you choose is better!

In particular:

Angel is set-up to become a sibling-like figure (he clearly projects his feelings for Molly on Charlie)

Alastor is framed as an evil mentor and a parental figure (his foiling with Lucifer makes it obvious)

At the same time, they are meant to challenge Charlie in different ways:

Angel is a protector (angel), who forces Charlie to deal with her pollyanna persona

Alastor is a dangerous manipulator (devil), who has Charlie deal with her repressed shadow

This is made clear in the episodes Masquerade and Hello Rosie:

Charlie: Okay… I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss… That I convince him to let Angel spend more time at the hotel!

In Masquerade Charlie is confronted by Vaggie about how much she repressed her aggressivity. For Angel's sake then Charlie tries to wear an "aggressively kind" persona, but it feels fake and it leads to a mess.

Charlie: flips Susan off FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH!!!!!

In Hello Rosie Charlie is overcome by her negative feelings to the point she gives in to Alastor's request to make a deal. However, as the episode goes on, she manages to face her inner emotions and to grow more decisive:

Charlie: It's a feeling like a rumbling in your gut That you could finally be faced with A billion needy faces, I guess what I mean to say is For the first time in my life I might have to be ready for this Ready to be the one who's leading from the front Gotta come into my own Gotta come into my throne Gotta take charge and defend my only home And although I kinda feel unsteady Now I need to be ready for this

In short, Charlie herself wears a persona and has a strong repressed shadow. Angel and Alastor are the two characters who will help her face these parts of herself, so that she can grow into a powerful Ruler of Hell.

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