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Text
acting ingredient
i see why you
Snatched me up
Like a life vest
In turbulent waters
I see why your touch
Ignited fireflies on my bare skin
And I see why your rare compliments
Meant so much.
I see why
You were all i saw,
And i see why i chose
To fall.
You convinced me
That your arms were open
For the catch.
I see what…
I induced in you
And what you released for me…
Dopamine.
So if our acting ingredient was dopamine
Then can we really say we loved?
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“Indulgence”
The way the sun hits your eyes
Ahhh
It’s gorgeous
Let me capture you in this light
The way your limbs move when you stretch
Mmm
It’s glorious
Let me swoon at the sight
The way your hands capture mine
Its security
Like secret service level tight
The way your lips move on mine
It’s exquisite
It’s something I can’t fight
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1am Shadows
Believe me,
When I say...
They haunt me
Its 1 am and
I cant sleep
Fuck, I cant...
I cant sleep.
They're crawling in the corners
They're calling for me
My demons...
I mean,
These shadows.
What did I ever do to them?!
Do you believe me?
They haunt me.
Oh god,
What's that on the wall,
On the floor,
Why is it so dark?
And ...
Has it always been there?
I've never been scared of my own shadow
Until they overlapped it with theirs.
My shadow is pure,
Why won't they let it,
Just be me.
I never asked for this.
But maybe I need the insanity
So that I can learn
To be sane.
Now its...
2 am and I still cant...
Sleep.
Now i have these,
Expensive bags
Under my eyes.
I tried to get rid of them
But like a tight rubber band
They just
Snapped back.
The invisible ropes
Have never been so
tight.
Why won't you believe me?
They haunt me.
On and on
Our story goes
Now its 3am...
And I'm just waiting,
To see what happens next.
Place your bets,
Look at the angles,
Is the lighting, in my favor?
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“You will burn and you will burn out; you will be healed and come back again.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
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Emergence
The stars
Cry tears
Called rain
They fall
From the Sky
And drown the earth
With the Vengeance
Of a thousand dry nights.
Lightening strikes,
From the emotion
Of a bottled
oppression
And lights up today,
With the hope
Of a brighter tommorow.
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I Keep an item of yours, because it was never a lie that I loved you. It just wasn't my greatest truth.
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The Claim
Men, in their inherent ways,
Are so quick to claim,
But not quick enough to be claimed.
I am yours, but...
You are not mine.
You belong to,
The world.
A trophy,
To be polished.
a masculinity,
To be put on a pedastol,
For all your admirers,
That you collect.
You See it,
Then Conquer it.
You Touch it,
Then Claim it.
You are not...
Mine.
In the same way that you made me...
Yours.
Equality,
Is not the way of the ego,
I guess.
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When?
When will it stop?
And by "it"
I mean,
The hunting,
That disguises itself ,
As the law,
And perches,
In the distance ,
In wait...
Of black skin
To kill,
And take home as prize.
When...
will they stop beating us down?
Biuld on a black man's back,
And shoot in a black man's face.
Because this is America.
Pow! goes the blue man's gun.
Ow! says the black man's soul.
Again and again.
We're Crying out for help,
Again.
When will it stop?
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Motions
I'm walking.
Up a path. It's long.
It's lonely.
And the end,
I envision it clearly
It's a mountain top.
With endless views of beauty,
And gratitude.
But why is this mountain so high?
Why is every step
Weighted
With uncertainty?
The wind here is cold
Unforgiving
nipping at every inch of skin
It has access to.
I'm... Fighting for every
Breath
As oxygen evades me.
Sometimes I feel like,
Im choking on my own negativity.
I need the heimlich.
Broken
Again and again.
Beaten,
Beyond recognition.
It hurts, yes.
I'm fighting all the elements.
Fuck. why am I even fighting?
The pain numbs itself.
Only So that I can function.
I Put on my smile
When it's necessary
Laugh on command
Keep walking
Keep breathing
Go through
The motions
Even when...
My emotions are tearing me up.
Are you okay?
I'm not.
But I'll make you feel okay,
Even if it kills me.
I put on my cape.
It's time to go save the world from
My tears again.
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When the builders of the bridge
have all gone home
and you must cross
in the dark, alone
.
When the valley is too arid
and all you know is thirst,
when every well has run dry
and the sun can only scorch
.
When circumstance squashes chance
and hope is neither noun or verb,
and your only experience distress
and forward movement is repressed
.
You've reached the end of yourself,
the place God loves to stand
with open arms to draw you in
and then carry you across.
.
D W Eldred
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Waters
I'm here for a reason
Aren't i?
Thrown,
With an arm,
That knows no bounds...
Sinking is easier,
Than fighting
To keep my head above the
Relentless currents,
But swimming,
Is my only option.
When will I learn
How?
The deep end,
Is so deep,
That i can't find my tears anymore
Can't see the sky,
Anymore.
This isn't a place for mercy
Because mercy isn't given
To the survivors.
I can't breathe.
Help.
I don't understand.
Help.
I need a lifejacket,
I need a
Lifegaurd,
I can't...
Breathe
Tears of silent oppression
That I can't....
See.
Help.
I think,
I'm drowning.
God save me.
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Shaking off our youth
we don a cape of wisdom
slowly gained with age.
D W Eldred
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Remember
In the days before
They cared about us,
We were ants
On the ground to them.
Look at you now.
A giant amongst Commoners.
Remember, when they kept
Us on a tight rope...
Because their lack of faith
In us
Meant we couldn't leave their side
So we remained
By our master
For food,
For comfort.
We swam in their mud,
Ignorant to the fresh waters
Just beyond our reach.
Until the day came,
When freedom whispered
For us
And the message was delivered
On the soft lips
Of a powerful wind.
And up we rose
Together,
Like foam to the surface.
And now we call
The world,
Our own.
Remeber,
When it lived our hearts?
As a dream too big to build?
Remeber when the crumbs they fed us
Barely kept us alive?
Now we eat,
What we reap,
And not what we were begrudgingly given.
Now we build,
Stone by golden stone
Until it touches the sky
Because we've earned that power.
It sits in the palm of our hands,
Like the sunset sits
In the palm of the earth.
Remember when they said the sky
Was the limit?
I forgot.
Because we surpassed that.
Now we gaze
At our creations
From up here.
And we laugh
At how long it took.
Remember,
When all we had was each other?
Remember,
When we had nothing?
I remember.
I'll always remember.
And I'm ever grateful,
For what we sculpted
From the mud.
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The Kings Crown
The Kings crown is broken
The king is missing a diamond.
I think we
Should check the closet
He might have lost it
In the heap,
Of buried skeletons
Or, I mean,
In his closet of trophies.
Or maybe we should check
With his mistresses
It might be lost
underneath
The lace,
That carries the tears,
Of an endless servitude.
It might be
In that man's pocket
His apappearance is so. ..
Unusual.
he might have,
Stolen it.
If so,
The king will want him
Chained to the block
For a public execution.
Let's look in the streets
Where the masses bleed
And beg
For mercy,
That is never given.
Mouths agape
With the need for food,
Flies swarm
Over a sea of
Sadness
Visualized as a mountain of bodies.
Mass murder.
A river of blood
Soperates
The innocent
From the greedy.
Despair exists
As a silent cry
On the lips of the children.
Meanwhile a wizard is
In the background
Searching for a cure
To save their humanity,
Always searching.
The greatness,
Of the people is evident.
In the way they dance
Around fires for warmth
But don't stray too close
Because it burns.
The cold persists
Through the rags
They wear.
And they've managed to convince themselves
That all is well.
Stealing from each other,
Because your king
Is not King enough,
To open his eyes.
The king is waiting
At the top of his empire state of mind
At the top of
The bodies
And ashes
And tears.
He wears his broken crown.
Hey!
Don't forget the job.
The Kings crown is broken.
The king lost a diamond.
You should find that.
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Why are you Here?
How dare you think
That you can take away something,
That belongs to me?
Like grade school petty thefts,
From your neighbors desk...
Is it fun for you?
How dare you think, that my emotions
Have buttons?
That if you push hard enough,
You will be rewarded?
This is not a gameboy
No.
.
I am...
Decadent like the berries
That make fine wine
Patient like the time
It takes for perfection.
And you are... Deceitful
Like the sun's rays
On a winter day.
Unreliable, like
The the illusion of safety
That cops give...
And I'm sorry,
But why are you here?
You are unnecessary to me
An accessory, to me.
And don't they say,
That less is more?
So,
Go
So that I may have peace.
Please.
And on your way out...
Slam my door
Open,
So that good things,
May this way come.
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The High
Ohh, I'm loopy
Low key trippy.
What is this?
What is that?
What is life?
I flow with the wind.
I am one with the dew
On the green of the grass.
I am one with the sky,
the clouds are free
Within it,
And so am I.
Overstimulated like,
I graduated now
Like,
I've ascended, like,
Show me the way back home now
Or am I already there?
Now you see me,
And now you don't.
I fear no more
The fear of falling...
Is the greatest fear of all,
And I already fell...
Up.
Nobody told me,
the Side effects of you...
Of this.
Nobody told me,
I would lose my mind.
Nobody told me,
You would show me.
Us,
As one.
They said, take it as suggested.
But, I think, I might have took too much.
Said we'd do anything for the high.
And then we realized,
That life is the high.
And we are the at...
The heights,
Staring at ourselves....
As we wander,
And continue to wonder.
The journey does not end
Because this high,
is truly infinite.
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