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lampochkaart · 7 months

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Long Oumota post

I just wanted to gather my thoughts about them and somehow put into words why I love them so much and how I imagine their relationship would develop. Honestly, it's just something very self indulgent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The thing about them that captured me first was probably the tragedy. Chapter 5 of V3 is without a doubt my favorite in the whole series. Just thinking about everything from the beginning of the chapter to the very end is driving me crazy. So much has happened, so much has been revealed. It’s so wild how they worked together for everyone's sake even though they had a very tense relationship. But still they were willing to find a common language and make compromises.

And I also can’t stop thinking about how Kokichi basically sacrifised himself for everyone, even though almost none of them would've call him their friend, and Kaito was the only one who witnessed it. He was the only one who saw a glimpse of the real Kokichi, the only one who saw his mask fall (and the one who had to put on the same mask for the plan). And Kaito was the only one who could tell about all of this to others.

Also how much they mirror each other. They’re so different. They’re the same. Momota playing the hero but not being the protagonist, Ouma playing the villain but not being the real bad guy. Momota being idealist, Ouma being cynic. Momota, who’s guided by feelings, ignoring logic, Ouma, who’s guided by logic, ignoring feelings. Momota dying feeling hope, Ouma dying feeling despair. They’re both leaders. They’re both liars. They're both taking the hit so that others won't have to. They're both refusing to ask for help.

They have enough differences to constantly compete and bring the best and the worst of each other. They have enough similarities to understand each other and exist together.

And now here’s some thoughts on how I imagine their relationship will go.

I absolutely LOVE "enemies-to-lovers" trope. But. I like the specific form of this trope. And I'm also a really big fan of slowburn. So it's more like:

Strangers-to-Enemies-to-Forced-Begrudging-Allies-to-Friends-to-Oh-No-Moment

At first first they didn't care about each other very much. But as the game progressed, their opposing ideals and strategies started to clash and eventually mutual annoyance turned into full-blown hostility. Kokichi's "make myself everyone's enemy" strategy escalated situation even further. The absolute breaking point was in Chapter 4.

In Chapter 5 at first Ouma was making preparations for a plan and then declared himself the mastermind and locked Kaito in the Hangar. I believe it was intentional and he was going to use his "unknown victim plan" even before Maki shot him. He was writing the script even before everything went to shit. After using electrobomb to deactivate cameras, he added and changed a few things but for the most part script was written before. All the while in the Hangar before Maki came he was trying to come up with ideas how to convince Kaito to cooperate with him but Momota wasn't really in the mood for it and more often just tried to break out or capture Ouma.

But after Maki left Kokichi, he, seeing the perfect opportunity for the plan, blackmailed Kaito into cooperating. Ouma forced him to drink the antidote (bacause Kaito would never have agreed to drink it if he'd just offered). Momota hated everything about this plan, but there was nothing he could do.

They worked together, but they weren't really close at this point. It's heartbreaking, but I don't think they even hugged in the Hangar. For several reasons. Firstly, obviously because of poison. Kokichi was already feeling REALLY awful from poison, crosbow bolts and blood loss, so physical contact would most likely cause him even more pain. Secondly, Kaito still had mixed feelings about Kokichi and couldn't properly process everything that happened. As for Ouma, he was trying to find balance between Momota caring enough to not abandon the plan and hating him enough to not feel too bad.

So yeah...(As a Virtial Reality AU truther i can afford to make development more slow)

Kaito absolutely hated himself for the murder, but still did his best to carry out the plan. In the end the plan failed and he had no choice but to come out of the Exisal to prevent Monokuma from killing everyone. And as I already said in one of the earlier posts he was probably still at the stage of denial when he was talking with everyone after the Class Trial. He wasn't ready to accept the idea that Ouma was their ally and was actually trying to help. Because admitting it would definetly break him.

But after they woke up from simulation, all of them actually had a chance to fix things, since they now weren't constantly under threat of death. And Kaito was hellbent on making Kokichi his friend. But of course Ouma would never make it easy. He's VERY stubborn, and the more someone tries to pull him along, the more Kokichi resists. However, after Kaito changed tactics and stoped pushing too hard, the two began to grow closer. They become actually very good friends. They have many common interests and they enjoy each other's company.

And then the "Oh shit" moment happened.

Technically Kokichi was first to catch feelings, but... he wasn't going to do anything about it. He's like "uh oh, that's pretty inconvenient. oh well." Because, first of all, he doesn't want to die and he's 100% sure Maki would definitely kill him if he'd even joke about in front of her. And also... he doesn't want to accidentaly ruin his friendship with Kaito because he really enjoys spending time with him. So he decided to keep things as they are. But Kaito didn’t.

You know, I've got a confession to make. I really like the idea of Ouma being the oblivious one. Both because it's so funny and also because I think Kokichi might just actually not consider a possibility of someone having feelings for him. So he just misses or outright ignores any hints that Kaito not-so-subtly makes. Which drives Momota insane.

His friends support him, even though most of them are not very happy about this development. Eventually Kaito decided to just confront him and tell him everything (not without Maki's advice: "For fuck's sake, just tell everything outright. I don't want to listen to your whining anymore. If he's gonna laugh at you just punch him.") And he did (tell, not punch). Kokichi just stared at him with blank expression for a full minute (he's making sure that Kaito's not lying) and then casually said "okay.” playing it off like it's not a big deal (but it is).

I think at first Suichi and Make were kinda suspicious of Kokichi and watched him very carefully to make sure that he wasn’t just using Kaito to get whatever he wanted. It didn’t help that Ouma was often jokingly saying stuff like that. But Shuichi, after careful observation began to notice very small, almost imperceptible things. Like when Kokichi sometimes “accidentally” loses to Kaito in some games after so many wins in a row, just so that Momota doesn’t get bored and instead would want to play even more. Or that Ouma actually pays attention every time Momota starts babbling about space even if he tries to look uninterested. Or how doodles of constellations started to appear in the margins of his notes or blueprints. And the fact that he for some reason become intrested in plants and proper care for them and secretly asks Kirumi and Gonta for advise. All those things are invisible to most people but the more you’re paying attention the more you start to notice. And it seems like Kaito also notices them (and is very happy about it). So even Shuichi and Maki accept this unexpected development.

I think together they could be sort of a major inspirational force for the class. And not just in romantical sence but in general. They’re fine with being the center of attention (for a while) and are not ashamed of being a little silly, so they can help less confident people from class to gather courage to do something. Like at any dance party they’re most likely to be the first to go to the dance floor. Or if they all are going to karaoke Kokichi and Kaito would be competing and singing with a little too much passion and energy. Or just be the first ones to volonteer to do something and by doing so encouraging others to join. I think it’s very cool.

Also I did those ship bingo things that I see everywhere. I didn't know where to put them so they'll just be here at the very end.

I think some of my choices here might raise some questions, so if you want you can send me asks and I'll explain my thought process here

#my art #oumota #kokichi ouma #kokichi oma #drv3 kokichi #kaito momota #drv3 kaito #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 killing harmony #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #i... don't really know what to write #like i said i mainly did it for myself #it feels a little embarrassing to post #but honestly who cares #i'm cringe but i'm free

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minamorsart · 8 months

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Who do you think is more protective: Lotor or Kylo?

*rubs hands eagerly* At last, my time has come! Hehe.

As a hardcore lotura and reylo shipper, I want to add a disclaimer that I will be mentioning those relationships, so just a heads up!

^^^^ also how GOOD do they look here??! I couldn't resist 😆

When you look at the two of them side by side, Lotor and Kylo Ren share a lot of similarities. Both experienced trauma and tragedy during their younger years that shaped them into who they are, both became ultimate powerful leaders of intergalactic empires, both can be snarky and sarcastic, both wear literal and metaphorical masks in order to hide their true selves, and both have complicated relationships with their fathers, etc.

But as much as Lotor and Kylo share in common, they also share their differences. A couple of those differences that I think are worth getting into in order to answer your question are: 1) their temperament, and 2) how they react to dangerous situations.

With Kylo, he is more physical, right? He doesn't talk much, and when he does he's usually snarky and callous. He is quick to anger, he destroys things when he gets upset, and he will react with violence towards those who get on his bad side. He uses his physicality and potential for harm in order to assert dominance. He intimidates others with his knowledge of the Dark Side of the Force, often using his power to threaten people's lives, like how he did with Poe and Hux. When he's calm he is remarkably soft spoken, but when he's angry he is big and loud and makes his presence known.

With Lotor, the man is absolutely capable of violence and anger, but only when provoked. He uses his words first, and like Kylo can be sardonic and unfeeling at times. He will talk his way around things in order to get what he wants, and is very successful at it, too. It's why he was able to turn the Galra to his side after his duel with Throk, and it is why he was able to convince the paladins to trust him. That is not to say he doesn't prove himself through his actions, of course, nor does he shy away from inflicting harm upon those who cross him, such as when he sent Throk away to the Ulippa System, and later when he let Throk be tortured by Haggar, as well as when he killed General Raht when Haggar sent the man to spy on him.

Needless to say, both Kylo and Lotor have their breaking points and triggers. So how do they act when they're being protective? Honestly, at first it might seem a little hard to imagine them being protective towards anyone, because everything they have worked so hard for, everything they have used their strength and intelligence for, was to their own advantage, as misguided and manipulated as they may have been. Neither of them had many chances to get close to other people and form positive relationships, so sadly there aren't a whole lot of examples to draw from when it comes to them being protective.

However that doesn't mean those examples don't exist! They may be few and far in between, but they are there. For Ben, we have at least two instances. The first time he feels protective of Rey is during the throne room scene, both when Snoke was torturing her and when they fought the Praetorian guards together. And then on the planet Exegol, Ben risked his life in order to get to Rey, and in the end he literally gave his life to bring her back, all for one person. True to his character, he never said a word, but showed his protectiveness through his actions.

For Lotor, we also have at least two instances, but what we've seen from him is that he feels protective towards the people as a whole rather than the one. When Zarkon threatened to destroy the planet he put his son in charge of, and then much later when he was about to fire on the Lions, what did Lotor do? True to his character, he tried to talk down the situation, to have the blame or attention placed on him instead of letting others suffer because of his father's cruelty. Sadly, he was unable to do anything the first time, and having learned his lesson, ended up killing Zarkon the second time.

Unlike Ben, Lotor is not put into any situations where a singular person he cares about is put into danger. There is no trial or test of love for the one person, not like there is for Ben. Rather, it is always a situation where the lives of many are at stake. That is one important thing to note about Voltron, is that the shows tends to focus more on plot and less on individual relationships -- with a few exceptions. So what would happen if Allura's life was in danger? Lotor admires Allura for her many strengths, not just her beauty, so I am certain he knows she's capable of handling herself. However, were she put into a life-threatening predicament like Rey, I can imagine Lotor would first try to talk down the situation like he always does. If that didn't work, then he would resort to violence, but only if absolutely necessary.

Lotor and Ben's protective mindset even carries over to when they are feeling the exact opposite towards the people they have intense hatred for. Ben wanted to destroy Luke and only Luke, and Lotor vowed to destroy everyone. It is yet another way the two differ from each other, though similarly, these scenes both happen during moments of weakness, and it's obvious that neither of them are thinking clearly.

What they do share in common, however, is that they are both self-sacrificing. Ben, battered and beaten, crawled out of that hole to reach Rey. He was willing to die for her, and gave up his own life to bring her back. Lotor, also very close to death, did not seem to care at all that his father was about to kill him. He seemed rather resigned to it, in fact. Yet he was satisfied with the fact that Zarkon's fleets had been destroyed, and was willing to die for the paladins, taking on Zarkon and giving everyone else a chance to live.

And a little sidebar for Rey and Allura before we wrap things up: there is no doubt in my mind that both women, compared to the men, are far more vocal about their fierce protectiveness over the ones they care about. I mean, just look at these screenshots! I think they speak for themselves.

So after all of that, would it be a wash to say that I think Lotor and Ben are both equally protective? Probably 😂 But I genuinely think so! I think Ben focuses more on the one, while Lotor focuses more on the many. I don't believe one way of thinking is better than the other, but it does go to show how deeply layered and complex these characters are and why I love them so much, even after all these years.

Thank you for the ask, Anon! I had a lot of fun thinking about your question and coming up with this essay, which is why it took me a while to answer, haha! If you have any counterpoints or insights you'd like to add, please do not hesitate to share! I would be delighted to hear your thoughts 😊

And one more screenshot of our boys looking at the ones they love :')

#asks #meta #reylo #lotura #kylo ren #ben solo #lotor

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crossdressingdeath · 7 months

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Kyvir: My old memories and my past self - I can never get them back? Withers: If thou couldst recall in full every barbarity thou hadst committed, every tragedy thou hadst authored... wouldst thou truly want to? Kyvir: It is a dishonour to my victims to not recall their names. Withers: All their names are written. One day, if thou truly wishest, I will show thee, and we shall remember them together.

Interesting that Withers never actually says Durge's memories are gone for good. Which of the three characters I'm aware of mentioning it means we've got Omeluum saying that someone is keeping them from remembering, Sceleritas being convinced that their memories are gone for good, and Withers not confirming it either way. But Withers doesn't actually answer when Durge asks if they can really never get their memories back, he just asks if they'd want to. I did wonder if it was going to turn out that Withers took their memories, actually. The way total amnesia is the only side effect from the head trauma and the way Omeluum says someone doesn't want them to remember suggest that it wasn't just the brain damage that took their memories. But then, Withers only gets involved in the plot some time after Durge ended up tadpoled... Although they've lost their memories right up until they get out of the pod on the nautiloid. But Withers was still in that temple at that point, so... could it have been him? I don't know. But I think it would've been really fun if it turned out that Withers had taken Durge's memories because the Urge's control over them from pre-adolescence had led to them ending up so emotionally broken down from all the death and grief it and they have caused—I really do get a strong sense that their foster family and the incident with their lover are not the only times the Urge has tried to make them kill people they loved, and presumably usually succeeded—that the only way to give them another chance was to erase all those memories until they had enough hope of getting out from under Bhaal's thumb that they wouldn't give up the moment he tugged on their leash. That might end up being the interpretation I end up going with when I'm writing anyway, just because... this is not how severe brain damage works and also we are told straight up in act 1 that Durge doesn't remember anything at least partially because someone doesn't want them to and that goes all sorts of nowhere and it bothers me because someone taking Durge's memories is a fascinating concept, especially given only the gods who are against the Dead Three had reason to do it.

Also, I love Withers offering to go through all of Durge's victims with them if they really think they need to remember them. He doesn't say they have to face this, and he doesn't say they should pretend it never happened; he just tells them that if this is something they need to do, they don't have to do it alone. Which is a unique position, seeing how the companions don't exactly take what few mentions of Durge's past they get well and Gortash (the only person other than Sceleritas who seems to have genuinely liked pre-amnesia Durge) doesn't really seem to consider that maybe the details of their sordid past are. a lot to take in. Up to this point Durge likely would've expected that if they wanted to look into their past in any way beyond asking Gortash for details they would have to do it alone, but the moment they say that this is something they feel the need to do Withers makes it clear that he's going to be at their side throughout. Although I do wish there was an option for Durge to say they want to remember their past because it can't have all been bad, right? There must have been some good in there, right? I'd love for Durge to be able to say "I know I committed atrocities, I don't need the memories to know that, but I want to know if there was anything good in those days and the only way to know for sure is to remember it for myself."

#bg3 #durge #bg3 withers

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ava-core · 11 days

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I HAVE FOOD TO BRING!

let’s talk about Craig Boone, and my Courier Six: literal sixth child of a sixth child, ex-Empire of Shi golden child, grizzled, haunted-at-23 May Bells (not her real name, of course.)

(i want money to commission them together PLEASE..also you like angst? you like new beginnings? a couple who don’t realize they love each other? YOU LIKE WONG KAR WAI’S IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE?! you’re in the right place!)

firstly, May Bell’s already got a fleshed-out backstory—but I want to make another post for that, so that’ll have to wait!

all you need to know is that May is difficult. it’s what a difficult life does to you, after all; in broad strokes:

she was born in the Empire of Shi, with parents both influential in the spheres of its government and upper-class society.

her father wanted her to be the heir of his scientific legacy when he realized his two sons were incompetent (not even bad people—he just had extremely high and stifling standards: calm, intelligent, obedient. May only hit the Intelligent mark with that 9 INT stat and was naturally a genius, her tag skills being medicine, melee, and science.)

when she didn’t meet the mold of her father’s expectations, it coincided with the fact that her eldest sister got pregnant by a poor merchant’s son.

her father went berserk, killed everyone in the house except for May and her oldest brother because they were out. this incident happened when she was 17.

May and her brother were tried (mother deemed insane to stand trial) and her brother ran away. May was found guilty because of public clamor, but she managed to escape out Shi and never looked back, working as a mercenary in the California area—using Shady Sands as a base of operations for a few years—before eventually getting that damn courier job.

yes, these are broad strokes. who wouldn’t be haunted?

now, take all of that baggage and give it to a half of an extremely combat-capable duo, the other half of which is convinced he’s only destined for bad things because of all the misfortune that’s happened in his life. both have seen the horrors of death and the loss of life, as well as having a hand—direct or not—in the loss of their loved ones and family, having no power to stop it from happening.

what happens when they realize they realize they’re falling for each other?

it makes for a tragedy in origin, of course.

i originally wrote May independently, as opposed to my usual process of making a character in consideration of someone i want them to end up with, and encountering Boone in Novac as May just made it all click.

they would work so well together: Boone filling in the gaps of May’s small frame and 5 STR stat (she’d like for it to be 8, but alas) and May serving as his new partner as two snipers.

that’s the thing, too: May, for all her inability to be sociable (always had a grumpy expression on her face, quick to dismissive sarcasm and is generally unlikeable upon first impression because she masks her loneliness with being an asshat), finds it easy to care for Boone. She levels up her Survival skill to cook him food. She uses that high Medicine to patch him up after he runs into a pack of Cazadores guns blazing. She always gives him extra smokes, ammo, and the occasional bottle of Nuka-Cola.

in his own way, Boone cares for her, too. she always has a First Recon sniper watching her back behind her. He always takes care of enemies before she can even see them. He takes longer watches when they rest so she can sleep (after a lot of protest). Hell, by Honest Hearts, he watches her sleep just to see her breathing and alive.

And the fact she helps him process Bitter Springs, supportive but not overbearing? The fact that she knows his secrets, and cares for him anyway? it hits him where it matters.

this journey May’s embarking on and the dynamic they’re building reminded me of something as i was looking for inspiration for her story (Asian media): Wong Kar Wai’s In the Mood For Love.

if you’ll remember, Mrs. Chan and Mr. Chow only fall in love because they knew their spouses were cheating on them with one another. it all clicked so much, i’m telling you: what started as an agreement to find who sold Carla eventually led to the both Boone and May trudging against the harsh winds of the Mojave, realizing they had one person they cared about more than themselves—and to the both of them, it was nothing if not dangerous, given how self-depreciating and burdened they are with their past.

but who’s to say they won’t heal?

it’s the possibilities of their relationship that keeps me going, honestly: they’re so perfectly made for one another, and deeply care for one another, but they can’t see that, and it infuriates the people around them: Veronica, Arcade and Raul especially (who becomes May’s close friends) who sees this tension so palpable it wouldn’t have made a difference if Boone bent May over on a roulette table in the Tops and went to town with her knowing she’d let him anyway. that’s how well their chemistry works.

i’ll keep on exploring this, but god, the way the stars align for them even in my writing!!! i will be back for this it’s a PROMISE

#craig boone #fnv boone #fallout new vegas #courier six #fallout #fnv #in the mood for love #veronica santangelo #fnv veronica #arcade gannon #fnv arcade #raul tejada #fnv raul #I LOVE YEARNING WHAT CAN I SAY #and the fact boone hasn’t felt physical desire until he sees may in formal wear OOH #good FOOD!

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eerna · 2 months

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The way that Bogdana and wren could have been such an intresting toxic mother-doughter duo haunts me,Bogdana who gave away her child because of power but also because she wanted her child to be queen since it heavy implied that faes are somehow racist toward hags but it endet in mellith being abused and then mab tricking her to kill her own precious doughter,then after decades of grief and planing her revange she gets the change to get her doughter back BUT shes so consumed by her anger to the point that SHE AGAIN does the same mistake,giving wren to N and J and leting them abuse,torture and traumatised her.The way that Bogdana somehow tried to force that love on her would have been such a good paralel to Madoc who never espected them to love him.I feel like if Bogdana wouldnt have done what she did wren would have forgiven her in the end since at the end of tsh she didnt kill or tell her to leave but she did exactly what wren couldnt never forgive putting bex in danger.(i do like that oak always called her out but i wish it was wren who make her realise that)

YEEEESS SS S S S S S S the way Bogdana was always yelling about how Mab took away her daughter's rights and inheritance and now she was giving it all back. It was a cool chance to keep the theme of "Wren gets used as a puppet queen by her parents" going, but this time the parent is convinced they BOTH want it and are working together, not realizing Wren is only pushing it because she thinks she should want it (which is ANOTHER reason Wren should have refused to become a queen again) and now can't go back anymore with the entirety of the hags backing her up. Bogdana giving up because she realized the tragedy repeated itself was an EXCELLENT conclusion to their story, but there was only that - the introduction in TSH, then nothing, then a conclusion. A waste of a perfectly toxic mother-daughter relationship.

#eernask #eernanon #eernask talk tfota #the prisoner's throne spoilers #wren i am getting you and all your relationships out of there I WILL SAVE YOU

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kelin-is-writing · 1 year

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ok - thought

i think most people agree that dabi doesn't like the concept of marriage for obvious reasons and he never thought that he of all people would ever get married or even feel the need to

but then you show up and poor baby is hooked

he can't even imagine spending a single second without you and he tries to convince himself that marriage can work - that he can make it work

but he's terrified regardless because what if he turns out like his dad? what if he ends up hurting you somehow? he wouldn't want you to feel trapped with him but something about being able to call you truly his makes him think it might be worth the risk

so - question

do you think dabi would ever get married or even find the courage to propose? and in case he decides against it what would happen if you propose instead?

- 🥛

i’m sorry for the late answer milk, it’s just that since i got this ask i’ve been thinking about it nonstop. i took breaks from time to time to do things, but hell this ask kept haunting me because damn... this is such a good question honestly.

NOW, onto the answer.

i think that for a proposal to happen there’s gotta be an effort from both sides.

to be able to accept the idea of marriage, dabi first needs to realize his worth after that sorry ass father that he had crushed every single amount of self-love that was inside of little touya, this is something only you can help him with.

how? be genuine with him, never hold an ulterior motive when speaking to someone who has trust issues, because that way you’ll only make them close-up into themselves even more than they already were. if you’re genuine, sincere and warm with him someone like dabi who has never had something of that sort will slowly and naturally start lean into you feeling more at easy, without the need for him to always be on guard and ready to get hurt. because if it happened once, it can very well a second time and by not letting you into his heart (that he thought would be unbothered as of now, he was wrong) dabi is already putting up a defensive mechanism to prevent anything and anyone from getting close to him.

he’s actually someone who’s very sensitive and emotional for me who feels things a lot more than some other peoples, yes even as dabi (i mean, if he didn’t then how do you explain his flames bursting at sekoto peak?), he has also spent lot of time watching others over the years he spent alone and reading someone for him is basically a piece of cake as of now, so his wary attitude towards others intentions makes him very observant on their actions and if he sees something off about you, what you say or do, dabi is gonna distance himself right away; he’s done being hurt.

but (there’s always gotta be a “but...”) the moment he's at the start of opening up to you and letting his guard lower a tad bit, he’s panicking right away of you because what if he disappoints you or lets you down? what if you start ignoring him? what if you end up hating him?

shit he’s in fucking trouble now, because he’s already starting to think that a future with you might actually be not so bad but also... possible?

this is when dabi realizes that he has been lowering his guard as you two kept spending time together, it’s just that... your genuineness and sincerity were so blinding, so welcoming, so comforting, so reassuring, that he mindlessly had gave into them.

he truly thinks that he doesn’t deserve you, you’re too good. a gem, a rare and precious one.

it was seriously a tragedy for him, because now that he realized how he did want a future with you, along with it has also come more and more the fear of becoming like his father.

only the thought of such a thing makes dabi gag in disgust.

this is essentially why he has never dared bring up marriage, things were fine as they were right now for the moment.

if it were for dabi, he would marry you on the spot but as of now he’s too much of a coward to even just mention it, at least not until he has settled what he has to set and grow out of his father’s shadow that was forced upon him from the scumbag himself since a young age.

he knows what are the thing his father did wrong so he can very well avoid them since he’s smart, but he’s also greedy and ambitious... so what if he unintentionally repeats that man’s mistakes? he would hate that and himself.

but you know the say that goes, the more time you spend with someone the more you become like them? you’re such a good damn influence to him and his life, even the league has noticed it by the way he has started to behave with them and this has started to make him more confident that: yes, he can in fact make you happy the way you deserve.

you gave him that confidence.

in a case like this i think he wouldn’t hold back from proposing to you, actually he would bring it up pretty casually and have you dumbfounded by how out of nowhere it came.

but if he still is unsure about himself, still doesn’t have that confidence and you proposed instead— dabi would be shocked, to say the least, before asking you why would you want to marry him and starting to tell you that he might become someone as despicable as his father in future, that you might get hurt if you decide to stay by his side and that he’s bound to disappoint you.

this poor boy only needs to be reassured, he’s seriously too hard on himself by every meaning. so if you want him to say yes that badly at your proposal, you gotta first open his eyes on what a good boyfriend he has been until now (because i’m 100% sure he is) and that he’s gonna be even better in future because you two will go through it together.

if you give him the reassurance and confidence he needs for such an important step in your lives, i don’t think dabi is gonna turn you down and even if he doesn’t look like it he’s actually ecstatic.

a life by the side of his precious sunshine is everything he needs.

that being said everyone—

ALWAYS STAY CLOSE TO PEOPLES THAT FEELS LIKE SUNSHINE!!!!!!

#kelin responds #answered #🥛 anon #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #dabi headcanons #touya todoroki headcanons #whoops let out my inner endeavor hater a bit too much in here haha #anyways i just really think that dabi needs reassurance and trust as a base to a love relationship #to distance himself from the coldness felt throughout his whole childhood #so he really ain't gonna marry just anybody and most of all he wouldn't marry out of convenience to strengthen his quirk either #*judging side eye towards endeavor*#we say it for funsies on here but i actually think you seriously gotta touch his soul for him to pay you any mind romantically #he's gonna shower you with love once he finally finds you you can bet on it

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hageny · 11 months

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Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman

1. Forsaken.

I’ve finally gotten around to writing my final Succession Thoughts post. I thought it was to take some time to ruminate on the finale, even if that meant putting the post out later and potentially reaching a smaller audience after the high of the final season had worn off. A lot of the chatter on social media surrounding this ending scene was interesting to me. Many people interpreted Roman’s drinking of the martini, and his smile at the end, as a sign of possible hopefulness regarding his relationship with Gerri. A possibility of things in the future. A chance to call, to reach out and start over. I disagree. The final, seconds long glimpse of his face after his smile fades tells the truth, the real truth in their relationship that people are wanting to ignore which is that it is over, and he knows this. I wrote last season about the basic problem between them being that Roman comes from a place of authenticity in his interactions with Gerri (however flawed his efforts may be), while Gerri is more calculating and always willing to look out for number one. The end to their liaison proves as much. Roman made a good number of mistakes on his part, and contributed as much to the downfall as she did, no doubt, but the real crux and the torment between them is that Gerri is wired to look out for herself no matter what, and discard what she no longer needs. She discarded Laurie once he’d served his purpose, likely discarded Martyn too (who she seemingly only brought to the wedding to make Roman jealous), and, finally, set Roman aside once she was done with the company and didn’t need him anymore. I’ve touched on this quality in her personality numerous times over the course of the show’s run, and in the end, that part dominates her so deeply that she is unable to really form any lasting connections. While Roman is looking for a place to feel safe, to be nurtured, for someone to help him grow, Gerri looks at people for what they can do for her, for their usefulness to her. This is not to say she did not genuinely have feelings for Roman. I believe she did. But this is to say that, in the war against the self, what is inherent to a person will always win out, whatever quality that is. One can try to find better qualities, different qualities, other aspects, but who a person is deep down inside will always lead to the inevitable outcome at the end of the day. And so it did with Gerri. All of Roman’s attempts to nurture something better in her, to connect to her, to bring out something softer worked for a while, but ultimately her cold nature won out and things ended as they always would. And really, the signs were there from the beginning for those willing to see them. While Roman, by the end of the show, seemed to grow and change into someone different, someone who realized the family company served him no greater purpose and was subsequently able to move forward, Gerri remained...well, herself. She’ll go on to do the same thing as before somewhere else while Roman gets to forge a new path, equipped with the lessons he learned from her and from making his mistakes. This is the real tragedy inherent in their relationship, in my opinion. They are two people from the same world, with similar beliefs, similar backgrounds and values, and yet, they are destined not to remain together because internally they are too different. That’s the real tragedy of this show--it’s not the overall occurrences that make things so painful, it’s the tragedy of the self and what, inherently, we are unable to overcome.

2. Mother Monster.

I don’t often touch on other relationships in these posts, but I must say that seeing Tom take over Waystar was so satisfying to me. What fascinated me was the amount of people who were either surprised Shiv would screw her siblings over, or tried to convince themselves that her choice was due to “misogyny”. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but in my view, both of these are wrong. Shiv, to put it simply, screwed her brothers over because this is who she is at her core. This is who she has always been. She looks out for herself at the expense of others, and at the end of the day, her narcissism caught up to her. She ended up like the mother she despised--stuck in a marriage to a man she has no love for and set to become a mother to a child she is not interested in. Tom, for his part, ended up at the top because, really, after having been saddled with so much suffering, there was no other way to go but up. He was a black sheep in a family of wolves and he learned how to play their game better than his wife, and won as a result. Shiv’s choices have to do with who she is at her core, which is revealed during her fight with Tom in Tailgate Party. The irony of their fight--which begins about her starting the rumor that he will get fired--need not even be touched on. When she says to him, “You’re servile [...] you don’t deserve me, and you never did” she’s essentially echoing what her father told her in season one, which was that she was marrying a man below her station because she could control him. Sadly for her, her self-serving ways caught up to her and now she is victim to the fate she deserves--wife to someone with more influence and power than she will ever likely have again. For all her torturing and disdain for Tom, she ended up in the position she wanted him in, and that is immensely satisfying.

AN: A huge thank you to all who have read these posts over the time I’ve been writing them. It’s been so satisfying to be able to interact with other fans who enjoy the same thing I do, and to contribute--in some small way--to the ever-evolving discussion surrounding the show. If I see anything interesting regarding Roman and Gerri floating around on the internet, I’ll post it here. As unfortunate as it was that the show ended--even though I believe it ended at the right time--the real loss for me will be the community I managed to find here, and the exchanges I had with others along the way. My inbox is always open for those wanting to chat some more, I welcome any messages, and I can’t wait to hear what you all thought about the finale. Thank you again, it’s been an immensely gratifying journey.

#gerri x roman #gerri/roman #gerri kellman #roman roy #succession #succession hbo #hbo succession #succession thoughts

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foundtherightwords · 1 year

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The Road Forgotten - Chapter 5

Pairing: Arthur Havisham (Dickensian) x OFC

A/N: I made Arthur bisexual and paired him with a female character in this. I know some writers have gotten flack for pairing Arthur with a female character (or reader), so if it's not your cup of tea, please walk away.

This is mostly based on the events of "Dickensian", but I've also incorporated some elements and characters from "Great Expectations". Most notably, Satis House is in Kent (as in the book) instead of in London.

Summary: A few years after his plan to swindle his sister ended in tragedy, Arthur Havisham is a shadow of a man, living in guilt and fear. When Elsie Bradford, a young woman also wronged by Compeyson, enlists Arthur's help to hunt down his former partner-in-crime, Arthur must face his demons and other strange, new feelings, to redeem himself.

Warnings: slow burn, angst, guilt, revenge, psychological trauma, mention of prostitution, mention of suicide/suicide ideations, some violence, a bit of smut

Chapter word count: 3.8k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Elsie didn't know when she first had the suspicion that they were being followed. Perhaps it was when they were outside Jaggers's office, just a tingle on her spine, on the back of her neck. During the walk to Wemmick's castle and back, she had been too distracted by Wemmick's jovial conversation, and later by Havisham's reveal, to notice it much, but after she parted with Havisham and returned to her lodgings in Southwark, it had started again. She would notice seemingly familiar figures out of the corner of her eyes, only to realize they were gone or total strangers when she looked again. She tried to tell herself that she was imagining things and that the stress of the search was getting to her, but she couldn't shake off the feeling.

And then the note arrived.

In the days leading up to the Oaks race, Elsie met with Havisham several times to discuss the note, whether it was authentic, and whether they should go to meet this mysterious informant. Havisham pointed out that Compeyson was a bettor and a gambler, as Sally had said, so it could be very well that he could be found at the races. Elsie, on the other hand, believed it was a trap, but when Havisham asked, quite rationally, who would want to trap them, she couldn't say. That would mean revealing her fear and her secret, and she didn't quite trust him enough for that.

But she had come to trust him, more than she'd expected. There was something about him that tugged at her heart, something tragic in those brown eyes that made her want to take care of him. Perhaps it was because she couldn't take care of Marianne, or perhaps it was simply the draw of their shared suffering, she wasn't sure. She only knew that when she was around Havisham, some of the horrors she felt seemed to lessen, not because he had any answers for her, but because there was comfort in knowing she wasn't the only one floundering in a void. And that was why she let him convince her to go to the Oaks. If anything happened, at least they would be together.

Elsie hid her face behind her bonnet as usual, though the place was so packed she doubted anyone could have seen her, let alone recognize her. The noises and the crowd seemed to have spilled out from the racecourse to spread all around the Downs, with sideshows of jugglers, fire eaters, and Punch and Judy, stalls and booths selling food and drink, wagons and coaches for those who couldn't afford a seat in the stands, bookmakers' posts surrounded by waving arms and upturned faces, lords and ladies ambling along in their finery, desperate bettors rushing to get a good look at the horses before placing their bets, all pulling them along like a great current, roaring with shouts and cries and calls.

Though she was glad for the anonymity the crowd was providing, Elsie had to admit it was making her slightly anxious. She saw Havisham wiping his brow with a shaking hand and knew he must be feeling the same.

"We need not stay longer than we have to," she told him, and he nodded gratefully.

They made their way to the Parade Ring, where the horses, puffing and pulling at their bridles, were being walked around. Bettors crowded around the ring three-deep, some with their eyes fixed hungrily on the horses that could mean the making or breaking of their fortunes, while others carried on clandestine conversations in whispers, exchanging some insider's knowledge.

"How would we know who the informant is?" Havisham said.

"I suppose he would find us." Elsie looked around, trying to see if she could recognize any familiar face, but everywhere was just a sea of silk and satin, nodding feathers and waving flowers and billowing ribbons, and she only ended up feeling rather underdressed in her plain black dress and bonnet.

The jockeys started to file into the ring, dressed in the owners' colors. They went to meet the horses, signifying that the race was about to begin, and still the informant was nowhere in sight. The anxious knot in Elsie's stomach grew. Had they walked into a trap? Was someone lying in wait to take advantage of the crowd and the noise and drag them away unnoticed? She had announced her intention to kill Compeyson in the Three Cripples, what if someone had overheard her and words had reached Compeyson himself? The skin on the back of her neck was crawling again, no matter which way she turned, yet she kept turning, like a caged bird, until the heels of her shoes had worn through the turf and cut into the dirt underneath. Next to her, Havisham said nothing, but he had also dug a hole in the ground with the tip of his cane.

All of a sudden, a voice said next to them, "Are you the two asking for Compeyson?"

Both jumped. A man had approached them from behind. He looked to be in his forties, muscular and hardened in his body and browned in his complexion, like a farmer or a laborer, with longish, already graying hair, and a not unfriendly face. Elsie immediately recognized him as the man she almost hit with the door outside Jaggers's office. With that memory, came another, and she also realized where she had seen him before—at the Three Cripples, the man sitting by the window, the night she saved Havisham from Bill Sikes.

"Why are you following us?" she said, at the same time that Havisham said, "Who are you?"

The man decided to answer the lady first. "I heard you two talking about Compeyson in the Three Cripples, ma'am," he said in a rough voice. "And seeing how I'm looking for that man as well, I thought I would follow. The name's Magwitch, christened Abel, sir." He took off his shabby hat and held it respectfully to his chest.

"What business do you have with Compeyson, Mr. Magwitch?" Havisham asked.

"I was his pardner," said the man, Magwitch, his head hung in shame. "In swindling, handwriting forging, stolen bank-note passing, and such-like. I knew what he was, but I thought I could make some money and get out before it got too hot. But he'd made me his tool and his slave. I was in debt to him, and under his thumb, and getting into danger for him, while he kept his legs out of the trap and let me walk into it." Elsie could feel Havisham shake, the grip on his cane tightened. Magwitch's story must be horribly familiar to him.

"But I got my missis now," Magwitch continued. "The police's breathing down our necks, so I wanted to get out for her sake. Only Compeyson has disappeared and left me to take the fall."

"How long ago was this?" Elsie asked.

The creases on Magwitch's forehead deepened as he remembered. "I went into business with him four years ago, and he's been gone these past six or seven months." It fitted with what Sally Compeyson had told them. "I first met him here at the races, which is why I asked you to come. I was hoping I'd run into some that knew him."

Elsie couldn't stand to look at the expression of hopelessness on the man's face. She had seen it too many times before, on her father, on Marianne, on Havisham, on Sally, on herself. Everywhere they looked, they only ran into more and more victims, while Compeyson remained a phantom, the only thing real about him was the pain and suffering he left behind.

"You said you have information for us," Havisham said. "What do you know?"

"Before he disappeared, Compeyson used to visit this gambling house," Magwitch said. "One of those big, grand places in St. James. Staverley's, it's called. A common, thieving tramp like myself has no chance of getting in, but I thought, perhaps, you two, being gentlefolk, might be able to..."

Elsie's heart beat faster. Another lead, something more concrete now. This hadn't been a wasted trip after all.

"Where exactly in St. James?" she asked.

"I'll give you the address." Magwitch dug in his pocket for a pencil and a scrap of paper. "It's a secret place, this house, Compeyson told me. He was always boasting to me about it. You'd need a code to get in." He scrawled a few lines on the paper in the same chicken scratch they'd seen on the note. He then held the paper out, not sure which one of them he should give it to.

Elsie took the paper and tucked it into her reticule. "Thank you," she said. "This could be a great help."

"Good luck to you, ma'am, and to you, sir," Magwitch said. "I hope you find him. And if you do, please leave me a message at the Three Cripples. Old Silas knows me." He put his hat back on, and his face hardened. "I know you both have your accounts to settle with him. My only wish is that you leave me his skull, so I can crack it like the claw of a lobster." Having uttered those ferocious words, he nodded at them and walked off.

"Poor man," Elsie said, watching him go. "I know he entered his partnership with Compeyson knowingly, but I couldn't help feeling sorry for him."

"Compeyson has a way of pulling people in," Havisham said. "By the time you realize you're in a trap, it's too late to get out." His eyes were fixed on the receding figure of Magwitch while he was lost in his own thoughts. Again, Elsie wanted to ask what Compeyson had done to him, but she knew better than to open up old wounds.

"Well, at least we have another place to—" she began, only to trail off as she felt the same prickling sensation on her neck again. It had vanished while they were talking to Magwitch, and she had assumed it was because Magwitch was the one following them. But now it was back, and more pronounced than ever.

She whirled around, and her heart caught in her throat. Striding toward them, from the direction of the grandstand, were two men. One was as tall as a tower, made even taller by his stovepipe hat, his features obscured by the cloud of tobacco smoke hanging over his face. The other one was shorter, almost comically so when placed next to the tower. They were still far enough for Elsie to not see his face clearly, but she was sure she would find a scar running diagonally from his forehead to his chin, across a milky eye, not much different from his remaining eye, which was of a pale gray and slightly protruding, always staring, looking more blind than the blind eye itself. She knew those men. Knew them very well.

Havisham must have noticed her going pale, because she heard his worried voice by her ear, saying, "Miss Bradford? What's the matter?" But she couldn't move, having been rooted to the spot by fear, like a rabbit hypnotized by the basilisk stare.

A cry went up, "The horses have started!", and the crowd rushed toward the course, hoping to get a good position along the rails. Elsie found herself being swept along like a leaf that had fallen into the river. She tried to plant her feet, to resist the tide, but it continued to push her forward, toward the two men who had yet to see her, but would, very soon, and when they did, it would be all over for her...

Someone shoved at her back, and Elsie stumbled. Just as she was about to be swallowed up by the crowd, a hand grabbed hers, pulling her back, and she found herself in the arms of Arthur Havisham. For a moment, they stood facing each other, holding on to each other, gasping, while the current of race-goers continued to surge around them like a flash flood. Then Elsie remembered the threat behind her. Taking Havisham's hand, she wove through the crowd, ducked behind the Parade Ring, and found their way across the heath, away from the racecourse, back to the town of Epsom.

It wasn't until they were well away from the Epsom Downs that she dared to look behind her. The two men were nowhere to be seen. But she knew she had not imagined them. Had they followed her here, or had their presence been a mere coincidence? And if they had followed her, was it her alone, or did they know about Havisham as well?

"What—in God's name—is—going—on?!" Havisham panted. "Why are we running?"

Elsie realized she was still clasping his hand. She quickly let it go. "I'm being followed."

"By whom?"

She briefly considered telling him the truth, and decided on a half-truth instead. "I've made some... enemies upon leaving Mrs. Hill's," she said. "And now they're after me." There was no need for him to know the details.

To Havisham's credit, he seemed curious but didn't demand elaboration. He only asked, "Are they dangerous?"

She gave a short laugh. "Yes, very."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. It is too big of a risk for me to go back to Southwark."

Havisham looked at her for a while longer, concern in his eyes. "Do they know about me?"

That was what Elsie had been asking herself as well. "Have you seen two men around?" she asked. "One very tall, wearing a stovepipe hat and always smoking a cheroot, known as the Chimney, the other short, scarred, and has only one good eye, called Cyclops."

Havisham thought, then shook his head.

"Are you sure?" Elsie insisted.

"Quite sure."

She let out a more relaxed breath and sank onto the grass bank of the road, exhausted with nerves rather than with physical fatigue. Havisham sat down next to her. "You could... you could stay with me," he offered.

Elsie slowly turned to him. He was looking down, seemingly intent on a clump of buttercup flowers by the side of the road. A ladybug was struggling to gain its footing on a petal. Havisham reached out with his gloved hand and gently nudged the bug back to safety. Then he lifted his head to return her gaze. "I'm not trying to take advantage of you," he said, his face slightly pink.

Elsie almost laughed at the idea of the poor man, who was afraid of his own shadow, taking advantage of her as if she was some helpless damsel, but she realized that would be unkind, and stopped herself.

"I simply thought it would be safer," he went on. "They would look for a woman living alone, not a man and a woman living together..."

And they would not think to look for her in St. Giles, a mere stone's throw from Covent Garden. And the Rookery would be the perfect place to get lost in. The more Elsie thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea.

"Besides, I still owe you twenty pounds," Havisham said with an embarrassed smile. "This could go toward repaying it. I could divide up the room, give you some privacy. You could take the bed—"

Elsie shook her head, cutting him off. "I don't sleep. A chair will be sufficient."

"Ever?"

"I was in a bawdyhouse for eight years, Mr. Havisham," she said with a smile to lessen the bleakness of her words. "I learned to get by on very little sleep."

***

In the end, Elsie still had to send Havisham to Southwark for a few of her things. She didn't have a lot, and everything was always packed and ready for her to leave at a moment's notice, so at least it should be quick. She knew it would be a huge risk if Cyclops and the Chimney were watching the place, but she reasoned that if they had known where she was staying, they would have taken her already. Still, it was a few agonizing hours while she awaited Havisham's return.

It was nearly midnight by the time he came back, bearing the two bags that contained all of her worldly possessions. Well, not exactly all of them - her money was safely entrusted to a bank, where a monthly withdrawal was made to pay for Marianne's keep. But other than that, everything she owned was in these bags. Havisham stared as she unpacked her books and her knitting. "This is what I risk my life to bring all the way from Southwark?" he asked incredulously.

"Not quite," she said. She wasn't going to take out her father's pistol, hidden at the bottom of one of the bags. It was the most important thing of all. The only reason she didn't take it everywhere with her was that it was too big to fit into her reticule.

Havisham found a length of rope and put it up to divide the room into two. He gave Elsie a sheet to drape on it as a curtain. She took the half closer to the window and move the chair and the table into it, giving him the bed and the fireplace.

"Are you sure you'll be all right?" he asked.

"Yes. You have been more than kind."

There was a slightly uncomfortable pause as neither knew what to say or do, then Havisham mumbled, "Well, good night then," and disappeared behind the curtain. Elsie saw his silhouette moving about for a short while, then his candle was snuffed out, and all was quiet. She put out her own candle as well and took out her knitting. She didn't need light to knit. From outside, she heard the night watchman call the hour, one o'clock, then two. She finished the pair of mittens she had been knitting for Marianne and started on something new, she didn't quite know what yet.

She had taken up knitting in her years at Mrs. Hill's. One of the other maids had taught her, and she liked that it kept her hands busy and her mind comfortably blank, during the nights when the hours stretched endlessly and she couldn't sleep. But that night, her mind couldn't stay blank. She thought about the scrap of paper Magwitch had given her, the gambling house where Compeyson might be hiding in at this very moment, and wondered how long she would have to stay here until Cyclops and the Chimney got tired of waiting and gave up the search. She thought about Havisham and why she had agreed to stay with him. If it was just a matter of evading Cyclops and the Chimney, she could have easily gotten a room for herself, either here in St. Giles or somewhere far outside the city, but the truth of the matter was, she didn't want to be alone. Havisham was the only choice. If he was foolish enough to try anything, her knitting needles were sharp, and her knife was sharper. But she knew he wouldn't, and not just because she had caught him with a man. The memory brought a flush to her face, though she didn't know why. She hadn't batted an eye the moment she walked into the room that day, so why did she suddenly feel embarrassed now? And then there was that moment at the Parade Ring, when he had held her in his surprisingly strong arms, against the crowd...

It must be close to three o'clock when Elsie heard a whimper from Havisham's side of the room. She had dozed off a little, curled up in the chair, and the whimper woke her up. As she listened, it turned into a moan. "No, no..." he was saying. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Please, I'm sorry..."

Elsie got up and went to the curtain. "Mr. Havisham?" she called. "Is everything all right?"

There was no answer, but the moan turned into a shout. "Don't come closer! Don't put it on me! No! No!"

She pushed the curtain aside. Havisham was tossing and writhing in bed, in the throes of a nightmare. After a moment's hesitation, Elsie put a dressing gown over her chemise and went to him. "Mr. Havisham?" He didn't wake. "Mr. Havisham? Arthur?" The moaning got louder, more pained, while he gripped and twisted the sheet as if to rip it apart. She reached out a tentative hand and shook his shoulder, lightly at first, then more firmly.

He woke with a start. He twisted his head to look at her, then his eyes went wide and he bolted up with a scream. "No! Don't come any closer! I said I was sorry! Get away! Get away!"

The horrors of the nightmare were still on him. "Calm down, Mr. Havisham," Elsie said, taking hold of his flailing arms. "It's me. It's Elsie. You were dreaming."

He stared at her. Some of the wild look drained from his eyes, but he was still shivering dreadfully. "...Miss Bradford?"

"Yes. Go back to sleep. It was only a dream."

He clutched the sheet to his chest, shaking his head. "No, no, it was no dream. She really was here. She was shaking the shroud at me. I saw her!"

"Who?" Elsie asked.

He didn't answer, only gripping the sheet more tightly. "She was standing at the corner of the bed. I saw her! She was awfully mad! There was blood over her heart! She kept shaking the shroud at me! She was going to put it on me, and then I'd be done for!"

He was raving again. Elsie found a match, lit the candle, and lifted it to illuminate every corner of the room. "See? There's no one here. Only me."

She moved away, intending to push the curtain to the side to show him the corners of her side as well, but he grabbed her wrist with a desperate plea, "No! Don't leave me! She'll come back!"

Elsie turned to him. With those huge brown eyes popping out of his chalk-white face and those quivering lips, he reminded her so much of Marianne that her heart wrung with pain. She took his hands again and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Please, hold me," he begged. "She was going to throw the shroud over me. Don't let her lift me up to get it around me. Keep me down. Please."

She couldn't understand his words, but she understood his fear. Lying down next to him, she put an arm around him and brushed back his damp curls, trying to still his shaking. "Shh," she murmured. "I'm here. Go to sleep. I'll keep you down." He kept his back curved against her at first, but gradually, as his trembling quieted, he turned and wrapped his arms around her waist, buried his face in her belly, and slept.

Chapter 6

#arthur havisham #dickensian #arthur havisham fic #arthur havisham x ofc #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn

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sdentii · 11 months

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Okay so I know we’re all mad at Peter B. for not helping Miles enough (only yet, I sincerely hope) during the whole ordeal, but I just can’t bring myself to actually hold it against him..

He’s one of the oldest, most experienced spiders, he has seen all the horrors that the job comes with, he’s barely scraping by money-wise, and he’s growing old and tired. He drinks l Miguel’s words and clings to them because if all of his misery was supposed to happen, then that makes it somewhat easier because it’s all out of Peter’s control, and there’s countless people out there that understand him, that share his pain.

He tries his best to see things positively and he tells Miles so: “bad things happen, but good things happen too.”

He has seen so much, has had so much to grieve, and then Miles happened. And he found happiness, found a reason to fight again. Found the strength to lift himself up and fix his life, and suddenly he has MJ again and a daughter. And then he finds out that he has a place he belongs to, together with all the other spiders out there. And then he’s told that he can’t go see his kid, Miles, for some reason we still don’t know but Peter trusts Miguel to be ordering him from a good place. He has faith in Miguel as a fellow spider, a fellow dad.

And then Miles finds his way to them and Peter is so happy but he still trusts Miguel to be the one in the right. He has seen what a canon disruption can do, in Miguel’s case, and doesn’t want that to happen to anyone, especially not Miles.

He tries to make Miles understand but he also tries to have Miguel be more gentle with the teen, and to not tell him all the mean stuff Miguel ends up spitting out during the train sequence. He is trying to keep the peace and have everyone get along, because this is the happiest he’s ever been. He has support, friends, a family, and has a part in some big business that helps universes. Because he’s Spiderman, and helping others is what he does best.

And look- I get it. He should have done more for Miles, especially because Miles has already proven him wrong during itsv. I wanted him to do more.

But being proven wrong once doesn’t cancel out all the other stuff that Peter has seen and done. He has lived a life of tragedies and is fully convinced that that’s how it has to go, that they don’t have a choice. That they are doomed by the narrative, no matter how hard they try. So sometimes it’s best to give up, because fighting it won’t change things anyway, or it will change them for worse.

And now it’s up to Miles to prove him wrong again.

Peter clearly loves the kid, but his judgment is still clouded by Miguel’s words. Yet he doesn’t resent Miles for wanting to try, for rebelling, for webbing him up and escaping. He is just convinced it won’t work, no matter how hard Miles tries.

Peter is resigned to the fate he’s been handed. He is tired and resigned and loss is so present in his life that he can’t even see beyond it, can’t even imagine that there could be something better, that he has settled for a life of sacrifices and pain.

And while one time is maybe not enough to change Peter’s views, hopefully his affection for Miles will be enough to make him fight for him instead of persuading him out of his goals.

(That, and hopefully this newer generation of spiders will set him straight. They are rebelling against the canon both for themselves and Miles, I think Peter just has to open his eyes and trust them a little more.)

(I have incredibly high hopes for him, and would low-key love to see him fight Miguel to buy the others some time or similar stuff. I’m gonna be honest and say that I really really love Peter and thus I want him to redeem himself and fix his relationship with Miles and Gwen, so I’m trying to read him in a “he doesn’t know any better” light. I want him to start knowing and doing better, or so help me god-)

#long post #peter b parker #atsv peter b parker #a bit of character study #I love him and I want to hope that this is why he’s a little bit of a bitch in atsv #they way he talks to Miles tho… he cares so much. he loves him so much. he just seems so.. resigned.#I stand by the idea that Peter unofficially adopted Miles and sees him as his kid #because it’s true #it’s true to me #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #sdentiii rambles on

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r1-jw-lover · 2 months

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1 & 18 & 23 for Caine on ze character ask game ? :D

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Let's get one thing out of the way first: just the mere fact that he's played by Donnie Yen is enough to get my attention, who's one of the staple action stars I watched during my childhood (don't ask me how many times I've seen Ip Man). However, what really draws me in is that Caine is one of the more relatable roles Donnie had acted in so far. Obviously, Caine is still very skilled and proficient to the point of being compared to John Wick, but there's enough dramatic content to the character that makes Caine interesting on his own.

Caine had emotional turmoil throughout the movie, he had an arc of choosing between his friends or his daughter. He had different dynamics with different characters in Chapter 4. And he is one of the few characters in the John Wick movies who was explicitly shown to be emotionally affected by the act of killing itself. Caine cried after killing his brother Koji, and was sniffing when he realised John had let Caine shoot him and might not make it out of the pistol duel alive. You can clearly see he didn't want to be there doing the killing at all.

I can ramble more and more about why I like Caine as a character, but I have to stop here and move on to the next question.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

We know how all of Caine's relationships with others (John, Koji, Mia, Akira) ended up being a tragedy, but Caine's friendship with John is really something admirable in my opinion.

Despite circumstances pitting them against each other, they tried really hard not to hurt or kill each other. They made jokes with each other (Caine cursing Killa Harkan in Cantonese and John follows along) and clearly had worked together before if the Berlin club scene and the staircase re-climb scene are any indication ("12 or 9?" "9!").

John and Caine not only respect but also have a deep understanding of each other. If you need anymore convincing, Caine told John in the cathedral the night before their duel, "I miss you, John. It's so good to sit with a friend."

23. Favorite picture of this character?

LMAO, I have so many pictures in mind because this guy served so much cunt in Chapter 4, but if I have to choose, I think I will pick this one.

The swag, the pose, the background, the lighting, EVERYTHING makes my mouth foam fr.

#non sw #john wick chapter 4 #answering asks #caine #donnie yen #rambling about one of my favourite characters in the john wick movies

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tamibae · 2 years

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Flames & Golden Keys : An Insight On NaLu

Natsu and Lucy meet each other for the first time in Hargeon town. Natsu wants to find his missing dragon father while Lucy is in seach of celestial spirit keys. They're nothing more than strangers to each other, but bound by the fate.

When Lucy approaches a crowd of girls around a man and meets Bora the fake Salamander, his magical love charm instantly captivates her. Hearing all the ruckus, Natsu assumes that his father Igneel is here. He hurriedly gets to the middle of the crowd only to be disappointed to see otherwise. Upon his arrival, the love charm on Lucy breaks and she becomes aware of the Bora's tricks. And as a thank you, Lucy treats Natsu and his exceed friend Happy to a nice meal. She expresses how much she wants to get into Fairy Tail, not knowing they're from the same guild.

Whilst they say their goodbyes after that, Bora approaches Lucy to join his party on the ship. Sensing her adoration for Fairy tail, Bora lies to her about being a member of the said guild. Lucy gets convinced eventually but figures out it was the effect of his pseudo love charm. She doesn't mind so long as she gets to join her dream guild.

At night, on the ship, Bora tries to drug Lucy but she quickly figures out his motives. Turns out Bora is involved in enslaving women and trading them overseas. And he plans on doing the same to her. Before Lucy can put up a fight, her keys get taken and thrown into the ocean, making her completely unarmed. Bora takes the advantage and his men capture Lucy. She shouts and cries expressing her disbelief and disgust about Fairy Tail mages doing such things. Luckily, Natsu arrives breaking through the roof of the ship shortly but gets incapacitated due to having severe motion sickness. He then commands his partner Happy to take Lucy to the safety.

Upon getting out of the ship, Lucy dives into the water and finds her keys. She summons Aquarius and the ship gets swept away by the huge waves produced by the mermaid spirit. Ultimately saving Natsu from his nausea. He then beats up Bora and his men as well as destroys a lot of things around. Lucy gets surprised seeing his powers since she doesn't know about it. Happy explains to her how dragon slayer magic works and reveals that Natsu is a fire dragon slayer. Only then Lucy realises that Natsu is the true Salamander.

Because of all the chaos, the trio catch the attention of the royal army. Natsu grabs Lucy's hand and begins running. Lucy asks him why he is dragging her with them and he answers with a large smile. That he is taking her to Fairy Tail.

Their deep bond stems from the fact that Natsu is the one responsible for Lucy joining the guild. The two end up forming a team and have become partners, alongside Happy, that go on jobs together.

From then on, Lucy and Natsu are inseparable. It takes a while for Lucy to adjust to Natsu’s bombastic and outgoing personality but she now sees it as one of his most endearing traits. Over the time they grow closer and develop unwavering faith in each other.

They both share a great amount of trust in each other. Natsu believes Lucy to be a a strong person even when she herself, doubts her own abilities. He projects his feelings for Lucy onto Future Lucy, which led to him trusting her implicitly despite her outlandish claims and having only known her for a while. He also comforts Future Lucy when she begins crying at the tragedy she experienced in her own timeline. It's the same way around. Lucy doesn't think once before jumping off the cliff after hearing Natsu's voice, putting her life on the line as she believes Natsu will catch her. She tells him before he goes to fight Sting and Rogue, that she will always trust him and that she has been ever since the beginning. Whilst sleeping, she whispers Natsu’s name in hopes of his victory over the pair. She often reassures Happy over Natsu and tells him that he will return to them whenever he has gone off to fight someone or is recovering.

Although she gets annoyed whenever Natsu breaks into her room, she grows accustomed to it and soon finds it lonely when he isn’t around. On occasions, Lucy allows Natsu to sleep in her bed or in her room whenever he falls asleep. The night before the impending attack of the Alvarez Empire, she chooses to spend her time with Natsu in her bedroom.

When Lucy meets a boy of her liking, who asks her out on a date, she chooses to not go and sends Cana in her place so she can go on a mission with Natsu. Prior to this, Cana used her fortune telling abilities to predict about Lucy having a fateful encounter, and although initially believing that it was the boy she met, she believes that her actual fateful encounter is Natsu after hearing him say that it is her one year anniversary since joining Fairy Tail, causing her to almost cry. Natsu wants to celebrate the day by going on a job that's perfect for Lucy.

At times Natsu comically calls Lucy weird, whenever she does or says something that is unusual by his own standards, which leads to Lucy incredulously pointing out that he is the unusual one out of the both. He loves teasing her, scaring her, especially drawing on her face when she's asleep. Lucy teases him too when she has the chance, though less than him. They share their enthusiasm with each other, with Lucy often being childish like Natsu. When Brandish shrinks the girls while taking bath, Lucy does soap surfing which reminds Levy of Natsu.

Natsu's life gets saved by Lucy on numerous occasions. She holds onto him tightly as they fall off a waterfall after being swept away by rapid currents. When Natsu seemingly defeats Hades, she catches him before he can fall off and smiles at him for his victory. When Natsu is put on the brink of death following his transformation into an Etherious, she cuddles up to him naked, as a means to warm up his freezing body in hopes that he will wake up from his coma. She rewrites the Book of E.N.D, incurring great pain onto herself in order to separate Natsu's life force from Zeref. She plays a key role in helping Natsu defeat Acnologia, breaking him free from the time rift that he and the other Dragon Slayers were trapped inside of. After Acnologia's defeat, Natsu and the rest of the Dragon Slayers fall from the sky with Natsu landing on top of Lucy, reuniting with her. He tells her that he is home and she welcomes him.

Again the same way around, Natsu is also really protective about Lucy. When he finds out that Lucy got captured by Gajeel, Natsu keeps burning one of the members of Phantom Lord until he reveals Lucy's whereabouts. Whilst being beaten up by Gajeel, Lucy remains defiant towards him as she knows Natsu will rescue her and he arrives a moment later, successfully saving her from a fatal blow. After being imprisoned in Edolas, he threatens a guard that he will burn them all to ash if they lay a hand on Lucy. He acts like a complete madman after realising that Michelle took away Lucy and his focus remains on rescuing her. He catches her again when she falls along with the scatters of the clock pieces after casting anti nightmare spell. Following Minerva's brutalisation on Lucy during the Magic Games, he gets infuriated and almost attacks Minerva along with Gray afterwards. He saves her from Jacob's attack saying Lucy will still be Lucy even if all there left is a part of her. He protectively hugs Lucy in order to keep her safe when August unleashes a deadly attack. Since Lucy's safety is Natsu's top priority, he often gets distracted in the middle of a battle if she gets hurt.

Natsu goes almost feral when Future Rogue kills Future Lucy before his eyes, saying he took away something precious from him. He later breaks down in tears by her side and promises to protect the future. So does Lucy, trying hard to close the Eclipse Gate in order to prevent the remaining dragons from coming. After Natsu manages to defeat Future Rogue and destroy the gate, Lucy thanks him with a warm hug from behind, under the moonlight, realising that her future self is happy with Natsu and the others in her afterlife. Truely, the Natsu and Lucy of future move towards a new adventure holding each other's hands.

Lucy does her best to take care of Natsu whenever he gets hurt or falls sick. Whenever he is feeling nauseous while travelling in transportations, he always rests his head on Lucy's lap. When he doesn't immediately wake up following his first fight with Animus, Lucy begins to break down into tears and leans over Natsu, begging him to wake up for her. And when her tears fall into his mouth, he sees visions of his close ones. The vision he has of Lucy is ethereal, in a white dress she runs ahead excitedly as they hold hands and then she leans closer to him. Natsu collapses after becoming half dragon to defeat Animus, Lucy then catches him and embraces him as the sun rises. He later rests his head on her lap, basking in the moment of their victory. While Happy carries Natsu back from his first encounter with Zeref as he fell unconscious, it causes Lucy to become heavily distressed when she can't hear his heartbeat. In tears, she begs Brandish to save Natsu's life by shrinking his tumour. Subsequently, she stays by his bedside while he recovers falls asleep next to him.

She goes out looking for Natsu right after being told he turned into E.N.D, to bring him back to his senses. She defends him to Dimaria telling her that Natsu doesn't have a dark side to him. Later on.after retrieving the Book of E.N.D, she cries in front of Gray and Happy over the idea that Natsu is a demon despite being just a normal boy. She expresses her heavy concern about Natsu going bersek from Ignia's flames. She never stops caring for his wellbeing and always worries about him. She tearfully embraces him after he returns from his battle against Aldoron.

Natsu is much aware of Lucy's emotional state most of the times. When Hades survives Natsu's onslaught and then unleashes his magical power, Lucy clings onto Natsu before he grabs her arm while inspiring her and the others, to face the enemy head on. When Acnologia attacks them on Tenrou, Lucy becomes distressed at the impending doom, only to regain her composure when Natsu grabs her hand and reassures her. Following her defeat against Flare at the Magic Games and facing the abuse of the crowd, Lucy was able to find her resolve after Natsu comforts her, praises her for showcasing an amazing growth in power. Then Lucy quotes Natsu’s catchphrase, "I'm all fired up now." while still in tears and holding his hand. After a long year, when Lucy doubts if they can bring Gray back, Natsu assures her by promising to do so.

Natsu always remains grateful to Lucy as he is aware of the significance of her presence is his life. He thanks her for saving him from falling off, he thanks her when she gets his scarf for him. He again thanks her future self for protecting their future and thanks her for warming him up while he was in coma. Also thanks her when he realises that she rewrote the Book of E.N.D. He finds comfort around her as he hangs out with her a lot, says he loves being in her house and sleeping in her bed. He was close to Lucy's ancestor Anna Heartfilia back then too, presumably had a crush on the woman since Gajeel mentions.

Although in different ways, Natsu and Lucy's attachment towards each other is highlighted when Natsu decides to leave to train for a year, all the while being completely unaware that Lucy will be all alone after the guild's disbandment. Upon discovering this, Lucy becomes completely distraught and runs all over Magnolia in tears, to find him. Curses him for not being aware of how much this decision devastates her. She will occasionally believe she saw him in a crowd only to be disappointed that she didn't. Once she reunites with him, she smiles at him, but holding a grudge deep down and eventually confronts him for leaving her, asking him if he had any idea how that made her feel while blushing. When Natsu assumes Lucy died after defeating Dimaria, he loses control of his rational thoughts and transforms into E.N.D and sets off to kill Zeref. And he rests assured when Lucy hugs him from behind, realising she is actually alive. After believing that Natsu died as he mysteriously disappeares following his victory over Zeref, she cries out for him and becomes inconsolable before Erza tells her that he is still alive. When Lucy gets turned into Nure-Onna, Aquarius manages to successfully return her back to normal by reminding her of Natsu and what he means to her.

They never leave each other's side in any situation. When Lucy gets assaulted by Kain, she refuses to run away despite Natsu begging her to do so, because she wants to stay with him. And later on, Natsu tells her that no matter what, they will always be together. Even at times of danger, they always stick together. And reach out to each other when being pulled apart by someone or something. If separated, they worry about each other the most. Wanting to make sure the other's safety.

Natsu has an emotional reliance on Lucy. Whenever he becomes infuriated by surrounding events or loses his senses because of magic power, Lucy is the one that can calm him. While he tries to break through Erigor's wind trap with brute force and hurts himself in the process, Lucy grabs him from behind and cools him down. In Edolas, Natsu grew furious when their friends who had been transformed into magic crystals, were being chipped away at a public gathering and only calmed down after Lucy embraced him from behind. After defeating Mercphobia, Natsu goes bersek because of Ignia's flames and proceeds to destroy the dragon as well as everything else but comes to his senses once Lucy hugs him from behind and tells him that she is there for him.

Lucy's viewpoint has a great value in Natsu's life. He cares about how she views him. Following the defeat of Animus, aware of his half dragon transformation, he becomes concerned about his new self and asks Lucy what he looks like to her. Lucy then smilingly assures that he looks just like the Natsu she knows which relieves him and he collapses on her chest.

Natsu pays a lot of attention to Lucy's wishes and likings. When Lucy proves to be too sick to attend a festival, Natsu recalls her being very excited about seeing the famous Rainbow Sakuras and uproots the tree and sends it down the river outside Lucy's house so she can see it, causing her to smile and thank him the next day. After finally reuniting with Lucy, following the time skip, he was amazed to find she had done her best to keep track of the guild members in the hopes of restoring the guild and instantly decides to take the initiative to find all the guild members. While visiting the Kingdom of Stella, Natsu notices that Lucy is feeling down about the kingdom possibly disappearing and knowing she wants to see Stella's Stars, he shows her the famous starry sky in the middle of the night then cheers her up.

After hugging Natsu and expressing her gratitude for everything he has done for her, Lucy expects a confession from Natsu as he abruptly grabs her arms and says he has something to tell her. She braces herself for the moment but is heavily disappointed when he just stalls that for later and drags her for the century quest. Later being teased about the potential for Touka being her love rival as Juvia puts it, Lucy blushes and bashfully notes how she feels sorry for Touka, lamenting how Natsu doesn't seem to have any interest in such things. But doesn't deny she has feelings for him herself. While exploring Guiltina, Natsu, Lucy and the rest discover Fairy Nail. It's a celebrity guild that is filled with people that are their own counterparts. Lucy was left blushing when she discovered that her counterpart. Lucia was in a relationship with Natsu's counterpart Nack, and walked in on them being intimate. And when the team returns to Edolas, Lucy discovers Edo Lucy has had a child named Nasha with Edo Natsu, and are now married. She is left blushing profusely. Natsu grows fond of Nasha even wants to bring her to Earthland with him.

Natsu shows signs of jealousy over Lucy multiple times. At the time of exploring a town in Guiltina, he attacks men who attempted to flirt with her, inadvertently burning her clothes in the process. He also gets visibly angry when Elefseria slips inside Lucy's cleavage. He is sexually attracted to Lucy and shows his perverted side to her often, even getting distracted by her in the middle of a fight.

Due to how close they are, Natsu and Lucy are often the target of their guild mates' teases with some stating that they are in love or are basically a couple. This includes Mirajane, Levy, Cana, Juvia and Evergreen. Even Erza takes note of how close they are, once commenting that if someone wants to find Natsu they just have to go to Lucy's place. Asuka, Alzack and Bisca's daughter, was under the impression that Natsu and Lucy are a couple like her mother and father and demanded that they kiss. Virgo also comments on their relationship, often teasing that they love each other. Gajeel implies that Natsu has a crush on Lucy. Even some enemies have noted their relationship such as Kain, who states that they better not be cuddling and making out on the battlefield. Lucy blushes whenever her relationship with Natsu is brought up and frantically tries to play it down. Presumably nobody except Natsu knows that Lucy has once contemplated Natsu as a romantic partner when Mirajane brought up the idea.

#had originally planned to post it on nalu day but i finished early #just fixed and rearranged the nalu wiki and #added things that weren't specifically mentioned #remake of nalu wiki #basically an insight on nalu #nalu wiki needs more attention honestly #fairy tail #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #nalu #natsu x lucy #fairy tail nalu #ft nalu #fairy tail 100 years quest

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red-archivist · 2 years

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Okay before tma2 blows everyone's ideas to kingdom come, here are some Thoughts about Somewhere Else and how I reckon it would actually work based off what we know...

So the Fears make it through to other realities, that’s for sure, there’s no escape from the horror and tragedy they bring

However, they do not make it through unscathed. So, in the show’s setting this categorisation of 14/15 fears is a human framework, its an imagined structure designed to help the characters understand what they’re facing- but the Fears themselves don’t fall neatly into that structure- they mix and match, they cross boundaries, they can blur together

But the way the Fears emerged in the multiverse was through that finely woven web of tapes- a system deliberately designed to organise and delineate them. As a result, the Fears are now bound by this system, it is innate to them where it wasn’t before. Therefore, any fear/fright/dread that falls outside of those neat little boxes, or tiptoes along the borders no longer feeds them

Somewhere Else, the Fears are much, much weaker than they ever were before; they have no footholds in any of these realities and their means of feeding are severely restricted (sucks to be them ig)

as for jon and martin specifically:

Jon died when martin stabbed him- but in that transition to the new world(s) when the eye realised (in so much as it can realise anything) that its power was being stripped from it and its one and only remaining avatar was dying, it pulled him away from the end just like after the unknowing

unlike the unknowing, jon is never comatose- the eye is too desperate and he only vaguely conscious so he again chooses to live (its not really a choice just like it wasn’t before but yk) and he wakes up covered in his own blood with a new scar on his chest

jon is still technically the Pupil of the Eye, but in a world where the beholding has no power that title means nothing (years down the line, he will joke that he feels like ‘one of those pricks that buys a lordship’)

any abilities/powers he still has are at the level of power he had in s1, almost non-existent and mostly unconscious

he could theoretically get more powerful/back to s4 levels if he fed the eye but he is so guilt-addled and so so careful to never let that happen

as a result he is physically weak/unwell for pretty much the rest of his life- in his weakest moments, he misses being the archivist, if only because he was able to live without pain.

Still, an upside is having a human appetite again (someday he will stop feeling bad for sating his normal hunger)

Martin actually spent more time in the hospital than jon after their initial arrival- he tried to shield him from the worst of the debris and broke his shoulder blade-needed some skin grafts too

the pull of the Lonely doesn’t reach him- not in any supernatural sense but his personal melancholy lingers and the white streaks never fade from his hair- the arm never heals quite right and he has chronic pain in that area for the rest of his life

they argue a lot, at the beginning- how could they not? both so convinced of their own rightness, of the other’s betrayal- stubborn down to their bones and so so hurt

they never come to an agreement, no concessions are made and barely any apologies- but as time and distance come between them and that instant, they make a decision to put those feelings down and carry on without them, as much as they can

a new life is hard, they know fear is around every corner, and building an existence where you never had one before is nigh-impossible, but they make it work

they choose love, and each other, over and over, just as they did at the top of that tower

#this is alllll personal interpretation/headcanon of course #yes i liked the ambiguous ending #yes i have a firm belief that SE happened and happened exactly like this #i contain multitudes #tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #tma s5 #jonmartin

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portraitofwhite · 1 year

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fatamoru spoilers (up to final door)

i want to talk about… the unexpected dynamics! (or interpretation) and also characters relationship with hope. I NEED TO RANT!!

the last door

very obviously, pauline/maria first as childhood friends strikes first. i also appreciated pauline teasing mell (maybe on the meta level that’s why javi from door 2 isn’t here—or on the story level his soul possibly wasn’t bound to the mansion but rather circumstances, being here at the right time or something or the sort). and the discussion between michel/yukimasa, bonding over their ‘unusual’ appearance and resulting weird looks or rejection.

michel and morgana

it makes me wanna bawl when i think about the possible innuendo that michel eventually views morgana as a friend but also an extension of his family. i didn’t catch this at first read but the fact that he is willing to depict her along him and his brothers on georges’ painting… fatamoru hits very strongly even in its details. i’m such a sucker for the ‘found family’ trope—kindred spirits where blood isn’t what ties them together in the first place.

i won’t go back on morgana’s admiration (or should i say idolization? adoration?) for michel, as her severed soul is modeled after him and her saintly persona, that is something the og game describes well. i just want to point out one thing: morgana’s christian upbringing and beliefs from her time prevent her from cursing her birth mother and other stuff (e.g. the WHG reminding God’s teaching about killing oneself). she does not only project her ideal self on michel, but also her desires by proxy—part of why she’s so insistent on him deserving revenge on the Bollingers and not understanding why he wouldn’t find joy in it.

giselle and witch morgana

the cocoon concept from hayden (hiding your true self and risking to lose yourself to your persona) and morgana’s gaslighting to the maid weren’t ultimately good and broke her spirit, but at the same time i don’t think they were ill-intentioned—that’s what i really like about this novel. morgana’s natural way of viewing the world, as a bleak and painful place where smiles are filled with betrayal, is very pessimistic, but that’s how she copes and somehow appears as the best way of thinking. she tries to convey those beliefs into the maid, out of annoyance (bc giselle is very lighthearted and optimistic as it gets) at first. however, she takes a liking to her. it is a way to ‘protect’ giselle’s heart, just like the cocoon.

morgana does not act in giselle’s best interest, she trusts that what worked for her will also do the job for her attendant, but that’s what breaks giselle in the end. because the latter grows in hope, in light, in truth ; not in illusions and dissociation (e.g. morgana’s fractured soul resulting in the WHG’s creation, and convincing herself she doesn’t belong in the realm of humans—both as a saint and witch). morgana is being self-conceited, to the point that her idea of ‘helping’ is twisting giselle’s core into the maid and discarding humanity.

despair truly results in tunnel vision and losing sight of what you are in essence, even accepting the horrors. that is something that is very well explored by all the characters in fata morgana.

i do find morgana/giselle’s relationship very interesting. the witch tries to mold giselle into her puppet, the conductor of the mansion’s tragedies, and ultimately as an observer to distance herself from the horrors (hence the famous ‘you were able to bear them because they weren’t your tragedies’). morgana calls giselle foolish a few memorable times, and while i think she means it, there’s also a tinge of affection? plus the door 4 aka illusion door to make everyone feel better, was also made for giselle… it’s complicated.

resistance

morgana is still very firmly opposed to michel and giselle’s reunion at first: what place does happiness have in this mansion? what do they have that she does not and makes it okay? the moment she’d reach the answer, it would mean that she is wrong for not casting aside her spitefulness. that is why she doesn’t want it.

the witch ultimately longs for companionship, she even makes a deal to both of them to curse the three men alongside her. she wants to partake in despair. she believes that is what is right.

but neither michel nor giselle were fit for that role, for they are compassionate, for they were able to give each other a second chance and believe in a newfound love. they do not hold a grudge, they do not find solace in that, that is why it fails!

despite their failings, they’re able to communicate. they are far from being perfect (their misunderstandings stem from their insecurities and secrets), but they’re able to reassure each other, they’re willing to listen and accept the stories of other people. that’s how they’re able to save morgana and the souls.

that makes me think of the key difference between morgana and michel/giselle. the later, with their own share of suffering and traumas, are willing to cast aside their bitterness and focus on finding new ways to live, for different reasons.

michel is forgiving, as long as the people who wrong him expressed their will to repent. he will treasure the good memories, and not let traumas tarnish them: he will try to understand.

giselle does not hold a grudge because she wants to put that energy elsewhere—into reconstructing herself and enjoying life to the fullest. that is true to her character.

to conclude

i love how each person has a very legitimate, and sensible motivation and do not excuse everything. and how you cannot equate characters to their wrongs ; while also holding them accountable for what they’ve done. you can reason other people’s pain, while also respecting yourself. a simple message, yet, very difficult to deliver rightly. and fatamoru just does that, it trusts you to understand it.

#fatamoru #fatamoru spoilers #the house in fata morgana #my rants

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travishackettboygirlfriend · 2 years

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I feel like at the start, when Travis and Can were first starting considering being a thing for real, he would try to sabotage the relationship by himself and push Can away. Partly out of fear of them just going away at their own accord, either because she got tired of him or couldn't handle the whole situation, and partly because he didn't think he was deserving of the happiness being with Can brought him.

He would act cold and distant, something Can would try to remain aloof to, despite being well aware of the sudden change until, until after a while the situation came to a blow and she questioned him about it. At first wondering if this was something personal Travis was going through, offering to help or support him; but then asking if this was because something they had done wrong, saying to tell her so she could change it.

Travis denied the second claim, feeling guilty for having made them feel this way, especially when he truly had done nothing wrong. Instead, he opted for telling her the typical "this isn't going to work out".

Can chuckled at first, completely shocked, not wanting to believe he was serious. They tried to question him, saying that that made no sense, going back again at asking if she had done something wrong because they really couldn't understand what had gone wrong, since in their eyes everything was going extremely well: they both loved each other and they had fun together and they barely ran into any issues!

Travis again shut down this idea, his response being more of a bark than anything, which was responded with a now desperate one from Can, asking "so what is it?!", which forced him to confess what he truly feared, or, at least, part of it. "I don't want to lose you!"

This left Can speechless, in total, genuine, confusion, unable to even formulate a following question. Travis proceeded to explain his reasoning, saying that sooner or later they would end up leaving anyway, IF tragedy didn't strike, a possibility he wasn't willing to face. The longer they stayed together the more painful it would be later on, so this was the best they could do.

He finished off by saying that their meeting was but an unfortunate accident that never should have happened. Can simply stood up and with a voice softer then his regular energetic and high pitched tone said "I am going to pack my bags then", walking straight past Travis into the room.

He remained sitting there, feeling that anguish in his chest, trying to convince himself in his mind that this was the best for everyone, he had made it this far alone with no problem, so he would be alright.

After a few minutes, Can came out of the room carrying his bags, eyes fixated on the floor. They we're heading straight for the door and only stopped when Travis asked if she needed a ride to the Harbinger Motel. Can considered it for a moment before answering "yes, I'd appreciate that". So Travis picked up the car keys and they both headed outside.

The car ride was as uncomfortable as it could be. They both ignored each other, Travis fixated on the road and Can looking anything but him. It was the first time Travis had seen them act this cold and serious, so he couldn't help but to feel worse about it all. He did try to start a conversation, with the hopes it would make the situation lighter, asking them where they would be going from here, but Can answered dismissively, making it clear they didn't have a plan from here on and that they didn't want to talk.

Eventually, they arrived to their destination. Can picked up his bags again, as Travis sighed and concluded this was the end of the road for them. She looked at him for the first time since their conversation. They hesitantly stepped forward before Travis opened his arms, inviting them to share the goodbye hug she was wishing for.

The sheer force with which she gripped at him caught him by surprise though, but he didn't complain, simply embracing their love back with the same level of anguish which she had.

The hug lasted for a long painful while, neither of them ready to let the other go, but it was Can finally who broke it. She pulled away slightly to look at Travis in the eyes before saying "just promise you won't forget me, please", to which he answered "I couldn't even if i wanted to", giving him a small, sweet smile.

The small gesture had been enough to push Can over their limit so they quickly pushed him completely away and grabbed their bags, hurrying to the motel, trying to make sure he didn't see her crying. Travis simply stood there, watching them leave. He got inside his car but only drove away once he saw them get in.

After that, he returned once again home. The nostalgia instantly struck him, making the atmosphere oppressing. The now silent home without the redhead running around, stumbling into objects, and babbling about god-knows-what became almost deafening.

Travis went directly to his room, sat on his bed, the one he no longer had to share with anyone, and finally broke into a quiet sob.

#worms.txt #did i make myself sad writing this? YES YES I DID.#this OOOBVIOUSLY isn't where it ends for them but I'll make sure to write part 2 some other day #oc can #travis hackett #this wasn't meant to be this long i wanted to write 2-3 paragraphs not a whole ass fic 💀💀💀#but hey i had fun i love writing angst and!!!! it was about time i actually posted one of my writings #even if its not perfect and even if i didnt even read it twice #it's literally just for me and me only and well perhaps my only two followers 💀#anyway sadness and agony on earth WOOO-

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