Shoes my beloved shoe-shopping my BELOATHED

would you be willing to talk some abt what it means to you to be a dyke? im trying to decide if thats smthn i wanna use for myself and i also love hearing other peoples feelings abt labels :)

To me a dyke is... someone who is a girl or was a girl or is/was girled against their will whose fucked up about it. like Defective Model of Girl. dyke is a mix between bitch and freak. fucking over female expectations in some queer way or another. dyke is when you are obligated to be a woman but your inmate personhood is viscerally disgusting to the patriarchy, so it both demands womanhood while punishing you no matter what you do. you aren't necessarily a woman, but you have (willingly or not) a fucked up and queer relationship to being a woman or womanhood or lesbianism etc etc.

the reason i focused on guydykes in that post is because i wanna point out how "dyke" has always been an anti-transmasc slur as much as an anti-lesbian one. same with fag & anti-transfemininity. trans guys of all kinds have been punished for Doing Girl Wrong (and ofc so have transfems; there is as wide a variety of transfem dykes as transmascs, same with transmasc fags). people can get real tetchy about trans guys calling ourselves dykes, especially if we aren't attracted to women at all. even though it has always been used against trans men&mascs& so many other trans folks. i love woman dykes ofc but it's important to me that we recognize how often transmasculinity erased and then alienated from itself, to the point that trans men who have been called dykes their whole lives feel like they aren't allowed to be a dyke because some people made up arbitrary rules based on a concept of dykehood that never considered transmasculine experiences in the first place.

how can someone be a lesbian and a man at the same time? and a traswonan and transman too

hello! thanks for your question!

while people broadly interpret the term lesbian to mean 'woman who loves women', there is a far broader nuance to the identity and label that goes beyond a simple description.

lesbians have a nuanced and complicated experience with gender. butches and femmes both have unique experiences with gender and presentation. nobody likes to talk about us, but some butches *do* identify as men. there are a lot of trans men who start out in lesbian spaces because they are safer, and don't want to leave the community and live as lesbian men. drag kings also are often lesbians. genderfluid lesbians, polygender lesbians, multigender lesbians, genderqueer lesbians, all types of trans lesbians are lesbians regardless of whether or not they are men all the time, or part of the time

lesbians also have a complicated relationship with nonbinary identities and a lot of us find that we fit somewhere under that umbrella. many lesbians find that pushing the boundaries of gender and expression are necessary for survival. i would recommend reading stone butch blues by leslie feinberg to gain a better understanding of lesbians who live this way, or, you are free to visit my lesbian and dyke tags!

as for your second question, i am an intersex person, meaning i was not born with a body that fits into the strict "male" or "female" binary. after i hit puberty i was routinely told i wasn't a "real girl" by someone then told i wasn't a "real boy" by someone else. i was completely stripped of the ability to be gendered correctly by anyone because my body has such a strong mixture of both "masculine" and 'feminine' traits like growing a full beard, having broad shoulders, buff chest, flat breasts, big arms, etc. and an hourglass waist and long shapely legs, high pitched voice, etc.

i am trans "both" or sometimes trans 'everything' as i call myself. my ability to identify as a boy or a girl was completely taken away from me and i am resisting that actively every day. i am a boy and a girl! i'm some type of nonbinary creature, sure, but i am in fact a woman and a man at the same time, but i've had to fight and claw tooth and nail to be seen correctly due to things that weren't under my control.

HRT was kinda my big power move. after i get top surgery and find a good quality packer, i think people will finally understand me and how i identify, but basically, the answer is intersex people, and some other folks can live experiences that make it so they can be both transmasculine and transfeminine at the same time for a multitude of reasons. my experience is just one of many, but it is possible, and we exist!

hope that answers your question! if you need more help, feel free to ask again! take care, stay safe!

welcome to our abinary experience!

this blog is inspired by @our-nonbinary-experience, @our-transmasculine-experience, @our-transfeminine-experience and other experience blogs!

this blog is for anyone whose gender exists separately from manhood and womanhood, as well as genderless folk to share stories, experiences, ask questions etc.. multigender abinary people are more than welcome here, you don't have to be exclusively abinary to belong here.

people who are not abinary in any way are welcome to interact and ask questions too, please just keep this an abinary-centric space.

im so fucking good at making sexy little leverage aus and then never writing them. this is my ma spencer au, which has been lifted directly from my twitter with minimal editing, & which i am haunted by always.

ok so the au. this is going to be very long. every time i listen to spent gladiator 2 by tmg i think abt the leverage team/eliot specifically.

lyrics for context:

so i was thinking abt an au where eliot was never on the team, bc like. eliot fully got Out of the game, but interacts w them on an early case and ends up falling in with them anyways? BUT i also think a lot about how hard it'd be for any of them to retire bc there's people who hate them who know their faces, yknow? so how WOULD eliot be able to have retired &what has to change for eliot to be that comfortable getting out?

so i figure he maybe got out of the moreau situation earlier. maybe he broke up with the horse girl but they stayed on good terms, and maybe he never did the worst things he ever did for moreau because he had his Getting Out Of There chef connection moment sooner.

but that doesn't undo how recognizable eliot would be to various parties and i was like. well then. what if the chef who was that pivotal person for eliot was a trans woman and was as pivotal with eliot being gendery as she was with eliot retiring?

so like. early 2000s nonbinary/transfeminine he/she eliot spencer finding a few small towns to live in pretty at random but having a home in each one and cycling through them with no discernable pattern?? and being a loved part of the local queer community in all of them?

it's similar to my "eliot never left home and is luke gilmore girls but also co-created a queer bar in his town" au (aside: thank you @lycanqueer for pointing out that connection ages ago, i have been unwell about it ever since).

like . eliot!!!!! eliot probably first connecting with the team bc of the two horse job and slowly begrudgingly helping, joining in on the tap out job, etc.

eliot being like a parent figure to various queer kids in the different towns and they call him "ma spencer" and she wears his practical boots with flannels still but maybe they're with a more feminine tank top and maybe you're as likely to see ma spencer in a no nonsense knee length skirt as a sturdy pair of jeans. and maybe sometimes he braids her hair . and she's mr. spencer too and well respected by the folks of whatever town he's staying in, too stubborn and helpful and intimidating not to be!

eliot being openly down for a casual relationship both with parker and hardison from when she first gets to know them onward—and him keeping his past quiet still, but it getting harder to keep the parts of her life seperate as he finds herself getting closer with the team & with more serious feelings for parker and hardison.

maybe the team's hitter is Tara? i feel like she's capable of that? but she has to be the grifter when sophie goes on her break and eliot joins in "Just Once" but it ends up being more than that.

eliot would have a lot of complicated feelings abt joining in—like, both being happy with the peace she found & not wanting to risk that but still feeling like he needs to pay penance and that this is a way to do that.

and then season 3 hits completely different. i think this eliot would talk about his past once she found out they were targeting moreau, but i think team dynamics would overall be super different in general. the team would be way less of a unit with nate than when you see things from his perspective—espeicially without eliot always there to insulate the team from the worst of him.

anyways im gonna be thinking about this for the next 800 years. will i ever write this fic? probably no. but ma spencer is so real to me

I suppose that I might share some feeling regarding my own masculinity I've been having about myself to the world, perhaps some will find them relatable.

tl;dr - I'm AMAB, and while I struggled with accepting my masculinity, trans men made me feel at peace and safe with it, and I cannot thank them enough.

Now for the longer version:

For quite a while now (a few years, in fact), I have been struggling with my masculinity, as an AMAB person. I grew to feel super uncomfortable with the implications that came from being a "man", at least as it can be stereotypically understood. I know very well that masculinity has positive aspects, like strength or reliability, but being called a "man" made me also feel like someone automatically perceived as aggressive, or dangerous, or a sex pest, or a creep. As far as I'm aware, I am none of that - but I can't help that being "a man" makes me feel like someone who poses some sort of danger, or is a threat to those around them. It no doubt comes from experiencing toxic masculinity - more so from my peers and general society, as I'm thankfully privileged to have a normal family, where everyone is, well, normal and supportive and non-abusive. Still, that toxic masculinity, or hearing about certain men being just, fucking losers, made me want to detach myself from being called a "man".

This is partially why I embraced the identity of a demiboy. Someone mostly masculine, but still someone who does not want to call themselves a man. To be clear - there is more to my identity than just discomfort with stereotypical masculinity. I have interest in outfits and activities perceived as feminine, there are subtleties to how I like to picture myself in art, using a feminine name (Marcy) towards myself, using gender neutral pronouns (they/them) etc. - it goes deeper than just what I outlined above. That's a story for another day, though, what matters for this post is that I felt that unease with my own masculinity.

I guess this is where trans men come in. Briefly - over time, as I interacted with trans men and transmasc folks in general, I started to feel a weird sort of appreciation, maybe even jealousy for them, like I wished I was more like them myself. Eventually, I started to realise that their comfort and the gender euphoria they feel from being masculine made me feel more at peace and secure with my own masculinity. Seeing as one can feel genuine joy from being a man, from the masculinity they themselves worked to achieve, and from the positive aspects of that masculinity, while also rejecting the toxic parts of it... It just, makes me feel SO much better with myself as well.

Perhaps it sounds silly or obvious? But that realisation that I do NOT have to embrace all the baggage that comes with masculinity, and I can instead pick and choose parts of it, shaping my own version of being a man that makes me feel comfortable is something that made me feel massively better with myself. Being a silly guy gives me genuine gender euphoria - so I just embrace that "silly guy" part of masculinity, and give up on the toxic parts of it, like aggressive dominance, or hierarchical view of the world.

Going onwards, I don't think I'll be changing my pronouns from they/them, or drop the demiboy description of my identity. As I said - there is more to my identity that just discomfort for being called a man. But at least, I can be at peace with my own masculinity.

I genuinely have every single trans man and transmasculine person to thank for it. You made my life better, and I could never show properly just how deep my appreciation for you all goes.

While it doesn't really apply to me, I'm certain that trans women and transfeminine people have a similar influence for cis and gnc women. In fact, I have read a similar post from a female perspective before, and I have no doubts that this post influenced my realisation in how much more comfortable I am with my own masculinity thanks to transmasculine folks.

Trans people are a gift to this world. Their presence alone makes the world such a more beautiful place, period. I wish them all plenty of luck and joy going onwards! And once more - thank you all.

Frequently Asked Questions:

How do I submit characters for consideration?

You can submit characters through this submission form.

What constitutes an acceptable justification?

Anything you want. You could write a whole college thesis on the thematic and/or textual relevance of your blorbo's repressed transfemininity, or you could just say "just a vibe" or "I think it would be funny" and leave it at that. You can even use fan art and fanfic to make your case, provided you credit the artist/writer, of course.

Are there any characters you won't allow?

As said above, no real people will be accepted. This includes personas of real people (apologies to mcyt fans), because the lines are just too blurry.

Fictionalized versions of people (i.e. Our Flag Means Death characters, The Terror characters, etc.) are on indefinite hiatus until I figure out a universally fair standard by which I can measure them.

Also, I figured this is a given, but just in case, I won't be accepting any transmasculine/nonbinary characters, as I feel like that's basically arguing to detransition some of the very few transmascs and nonbinary folk in fiction.

Will you accept my submission through the ask box?

Please don't do this. It makes keeping track of submissions a lot harder. I might accept it, assuming it doesn't get buried.

Are there transmasc/enby equivalents of this blog?

Yes there are! @/could-transition-save-him and @/couldtransitionsavethem (note: I don't run either of those blogs).

Are you a trans woman?

Yes!

Hey, this character is a horrible person/this justification sucks, why are you allowing this?

A lot of times, I agree with you there! I believe that some of these people are irredeemable bastards, no matter how much estrogen they receive. However, there are a few things to keep in mind regarding these characters.

This is a vote for a reason. If you dislike a character, you have every right to make as much anti-propaganda as possible, so long as you keep it civil.

Posting a character is not necessarily a yes from me. I've posted a few characters that I vehemently disagreed with. I am here to hear the arguments more than I am here for the verdict.

What's the turnaround rate for submissions?

Usually about 2-4 weeks.

Has anybody submitted the Riddler from Batman yet?

Yes. Many many many many many many many many many many times.

(If there's a version I haven't covered, feel free to submit again, and I will post it immediately)

The Monthly Roundup

Okay, normally, this is just a free monthly post over on my Patreon, but I figured I should push this out into the wild as well, because this kind of stuff's always needed. Want this, and a bunch of weekly readings from a cursed tarot deck, media reviews, and other content including fiction and the occasional build post? Maybe consider adding me over there as well. Anyways, like I said, it's a monthly roundup- in this case a bigass collection of links and resources for folks interested in pursuing gender transition one way or another. And while a bunch of it is transfem specific and sometimes medical transition specific, because it's stuff I dug up while hunting down things for myself, there's also things in there good for anyone of any gender, and resources for legal/social transition as well. And this is long enough to deserve a cut for once, so...

Hey! What If *I'M* trans?

The Gender Dysphoria Bible- https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en Wondering if you're experiencing Gender Dysphoria? This may be a good place to start. Realize the GDB is slanted largely towards transfem folks, so it doesn't necessarily apply evenly to everyone, but it does cover a lot of ground that folks may identify with.

Trans Medical Resources

DIY HRT- https://diyhrt.cafe/index.php/Main_Page (for legal reasons, I'm going to tell you to at least try to see a licensed physician or endocrinologist before starting to DIY your own hormones, but keep in mind, I'm not your responsible adult, and if you don't choose to listen, that's on you) This is the main, best hub for sourcing and getting info on doing your own hormone therapy. Keep in mind, it's once again slanted towards feminizing methods, because testosterone is still a controlled substance in most of the world (which is bloody fucking stupid, but that's a rant for another time).

GALAP- The Gender Affirming Letter Access Project- https://thegalap.org/ While we may have new WPATH guidelines with the Soc 8 updates that dropped a little bit ago, most providers and insurers are still on outdated requirements that insist on letters from mental health providers for transgender-related care. Which can affect access to surgeries, HRT, and more. GALAP exists to connect folks with providers who'll give those letters,m in some cases free of charge even.

Gynecologist List- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview This one's more for uterus-owners in general and less trans-specific, but giventhe number of folks with uteri who'd can end up with a hard time finding a willing doctor for some procedures, it's important for everyone. This is a Google database of hundreds of gynecologists, listed by location, willing to perform sterilization procedures with informed consent, without secondary authorization from anyone else. The list is patient-vetted, so your mileage may vary, but for those seeking sterilization and/or hysterectomies as part of their transition it may prove to be invaluable as a resource, because doctors willing to do this work can be few and rare in some areas.

Transfeminine Science- https://transfemscience.org/ Articles, journals and all sorts of researching into, well, just what the name says, transfeminizing science. A lot of medical professionals simply don't have knowledge in the field and are acting on what they learned in med school, which may be way out of date. If they're willing to listen, there's stuff in there to help bring them up to speed. Better yet, it;'s also a great resource to educate yourself so you can advocate for your own care a bit better.

Other Transition resources (legal, social, etc)

NCTE's ID GUIDE- https://transequality.org/documents The National Transgender Center for Equality's guide to changing your legal identity, in a handy format that lets you break it down by state or territory, or even federal documents (United States only, sorry.) and links to the right paperwork to use. Rainbow Passage- https://rainbowpassage.org/ It sucks that we need organizations like this in these times, but I'm glad to see there's people already stepping up to the task. Rainbow Passage is an organization dedicated to helping trans youth get out of trans-hostile states and relocate to safer areas. And if you can, volunteering for them is a great way to help improve safety for trans folk in general.

Seattle Voice Lab- https://www.seattlevoicelab.com/ if you've seen me on social media much lately, then you've seen me talking about this place. This is who I'm (through February and March at least) taking voice lessons through to feminize my own voice more. They also have a bunch of online resources, a discord server, and other help if you need to figure your own vocal chords out a bit better.

Strands For Trans- https://strandsfortrans.org/ Need a haircut, or color or other beauty services you're using for the first time ever as an out trans person and you're not sure where's going to be safe to go? Strands For Trans is the first comprehensive database of Aesthetics businesses for hair and everything, AND THEY VET THE BUSINESSES, to ensure your safety and comfort.

TLC's Life-Planning Guide- http://transgenderlawcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/TLC_Life-Planning-Documents-Transgender.pdf The Transgender Law Center put this guide together specifically for planning end-of-life details. Yes, it's a depressing and tragic thing, but protecting and making sure our identities are still properly preserved after we die is still just as an important part of what we're fighting as anything else is. This guide will help you with establishing a Living Will, controlling hospital visits, and setting up proper Powers of Attorney, so that nothing potentially falls back into the hands of people who might refuse to recognize who you truly are. (In many states, you can designate someone other than your next of kin to take charge of your body when you die (next of kin is defined by law, not by preference). If you need to do that, go to nolo.com and look up article on "[your state] funeral law" to get a rundown on if and how to do this.

Trans Media

The Digital Transgender Archive- https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net "The purpose of the Digital Transgender Archive (DTA) is to increase the accessibility of transgender history by providing an online hub for digitized historical materials, born-digital materials, and information on archival holdings throughout the world." (In short, this is one of several free libraries of trans history.)

Totally Trans- https://www.patreon.com/totallytrans/posts Hey, look at that, it's another Patreon! Except, no, wait, it's a podcast! Totally Trans looks at media both historical and modern with a transgendered lens. Sometimes it's silly fun, other times, it's great insights into queer and trans history, and all around it's a great show to add on whatever service you're already getting podcasts through- or you can hit the link above to help support them at the same time for early access.

Trans News, Blogs, and Notes

Erin In The Morning: https://www.erininthemorning.com/ Erin's newsletter runs almost daily these days, mostly with updates regarding trans legislation all around the US. It's a good way to stay up to date, but it can also be a drag these days, largely because it's practically just a constantly expanding list of bad news thanks to the GOP right now.

Stained Glass Woman: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/ aka Doc Impossible/Zoe. I first discovered her work and writing when WPATH released their new SOC 8 guidelines, because she was one of the few people that could make the thing actually make sense in non-legalese. But I subscribed andkeep following here for regular updates both because she presents a trans coming out narrative that was just a joy to read, and also covers interesting  news in the field of trans medicine from time to time. Definitely worth adding to your feed.

A Self Defense Study Guide for Trans Women and Gender Non-Conforming / Nonbinary AMAB Folks: https://www.silversprocket.net/2021/09/13/a-self-defense-study-guide-for-trans-women-and-gender-non-conforming-nonbinary-amab-folks/

This is, quite honestly, one of the best self-defense guides I've seen for gender-nonconforming folks (and one of the few, to be honest), short of private defense instruction. AND it's available to read in full for free at that link, or in print for just a 5$ donation. Go check it out.

Other general roundups

Grassroots GAC Resources- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19kSzBLo_hjpiBjHN8tvK73sVHU25NKWjMau2vNl8uuM/edit#gid=778305468 Google spreadsheet of links in general, from therapy help and hrt assistance, to all sorts of other info, some of which are repeats from here, but there's also a bunch of others I haven't had time or opportunity to vet yet.

Apologies I phrased that very poorly, transfem/otherwise AMAB (not all AMAB nonbinary/genderqueer people identify as transfeminine which is why i use agab, but TMA would be more appropriate!) GQ experiences are different enough from AFAB (etc etc) or TME transgender ones to classify them as different things? Lumping both together under “transgender” widens the experience the term captures. the experience of transmisogyny is 90% of transphobia, I don’t believe transmascs face any systemic discrimination aside from reactive misogyny before passing, and most have extremely different experiences from transfems: Are they similar enough to be recognized as transgender in the same way? Or would another term be more appropriate. Something I’ve been thinking on for a while

ahh, i see, thanks for elaborating. while i get your meaning, i would disagree. i think its certainly true that trans experiences range pretty broadly across the spectrum and that transmisogyny is really extreme and probably the most numerous example of transphobia, but im not sure id go so far to say that it is wholly representative of transphobia; although id get pretty close, a lot of transphobia and bias is influenced heavily by transmisogyny or other generalized fear of transfemininity/failed masculinity, like a lot lot.

moreover, i worry that this kind of analysis could lead to overfocusing on some aspects of gender, and losing sight of other vital key parts to how gender is actively lived and enforced (such as class, race, culture, whole milieu). i also want to push back a bit on the "transmascs dont face systemic discrimination" because i just think its too black and white since they definitely do (not mentioning other axes of oppression here, though you should when thinking this out because systemic discriminations interact in many ways with transness), just sometimes less or in different ways than transfems/tma folks. as an example, trans women have been observed on avg to be paid 60% less than the avg worker (horrendous), trans men arent much above that being observed at 70% (referencing this). sure the gap sucks and is evidence of the privilege that comes with not being tma, but they’re also still getting screwed, right? i also dont think we need to chalk these issues they face up to misogyny imo, i think its more accurate to describe it as transphobia as its denying their worth based on their divergent gender

tl;dr, while this feels a little baity, transmascs are definitely also discriminated against and while they can (and do) perform terrible transmisogyny to transfems and completely not understand their transphobia due to their own unique trans situation (many such cases), as a whole we have more in common with each other than against each other, most importantly the value of trans liberation and a cuter future where gender isnt so big of a deal. but to be clear if you're a snake about trans women and fail again and again to confront and learn from your transmisogynistic biases, you are poisoning the well by spreading such ideas in the community

Welcome to the Anarcha-Tranny Almanac!

This blog is a directory of and resource for pronouns, names, and terms, especially related to certain themes. We especially focus on older queer terms and pronouns, and love fulfilling requests for them especially! You can learn more about who runs the blog on our About page.

If you've been struggling to decide on or find a name or pronouns, or are just interested in what older terms, pronouns, and identities might fit you, you're in the right place!

We'll also be posting educational content on various terms, especially slurs that are reclaimed by the community and terms that have fallen out of favor. We'd love to have you along for the ride!

Information on boundaries and interaction under the cut.

We are firmly anti-exclusionism/seperatism. The exclusion of bi women and trans men from lesbianism, women from gayness, nonbinary people from transness, a-spec folks from queerness, etc. is inherently ahistorical and queerphobic, and isn't tolerated here. We do not have a DNI, and anyone can ask for pronoun/name/term ideas, but we will not entertain exclusionism in this space.

We are pro-kink, and anti-minors in kink, including kink discourse. We support kink at pride, and any pride that excludes kink is not real pride. We believe age-appropriate kink education and exposure is vital for queer people of all ages. This blog will not contain any kink-related content that isn't strictly educational, and will always be minor-appropriate.

We do not identify as MOGAI or LGBTQ+ and do not want to be referred to as such. We are not anti-MOGAI, but have had extremely negative experiences in the community (as have many other transfeminine and nonwhite individuals) and do not consider ourselves a part of it. We may use these tags because we understand there's an audience overlap.

1, 11, and 13 from the nice asks, please?

[for this ask game]

A fanon characterization that you love:

I really enjoy fanon lalwen. She's not in the silm and she gets almost no exposition elsewhere so she really is the blorbo personality I invented. Lalwen the best friend of fingolfin, lalwen fingolfin's right hand man, lalwen the loud and the smiling, lalwen the lesbian -- idk I just really like how some folks have turned her into the big, gregarious lady, especially since most of tolkien's ladies fit different niches (tolkien would have exploded if he'd ever met a butch dyke, I don't think he'd know what to do with a woman like that). Otherwise, I like fanon maeglin a lot. Singly handedly fixed tfog for me so that I didn't have to avoidantly flip past chunks of it. Maeglin's canon behavior is obviously a real-world phenomenon (and the reason I had personal issues enjoying tfog) so there's value in analyzing that. But at least for me, it's been very nice to see people examine the interplay between low self-esteem and outward confidence, the trauma of adolescence and the adult responsibility of growth and recovery, inquisitive desire for greener grass and the feeling of freakishness or otherness. I think a lot of it takes themes present in the original but pares away some of tolkien's dated coding and the broader discomfort casual fans might want to avoid.

11. Recommend a fic with an unusual/original headcanon or characterisation that you loved:

I would recommend Half Mourning by @skyeventide! One, I love the idea of Maeglin having Dwarvish tattoos. There's so much depth there; that they'll fade and take a part of his identity with him, how distancing himself from the bad parts of his life has forcibly distanced him from the good or familiar parts as well. Two, Maeglin as a mirror for other people! Gaia has really masterfully captured something I didn't know I needed to see in Maeglin. He's usually written to be either charismatic and biting, or withdrawn and dejected (and to be clear, I enjoy both). But this fic kind of opened a third door: Maeglin who is whatever the situation requires, who has past associations and familiar customs but no real positive tether to his identity, the knowledge that he is not unwelcome but that he does not belong, that the easiest way to avoid scrutiny is to mimic the person in front of him. I felt very called out.

13. Recommend a fic (can be your own!) that features something you wish was written about more:

This is actually a series (sorry) but The Years Start Coming and They Don't Stop Coming by @i-am-a-lonely-visitor! I am very taken with Visitor's Celebhir (trans celebrian). I think a lot of folks (myself included) often write trans characters as having transitioned to their canon genders (for example, transmasculine maedhros is a staple of mine). And I love this, it's great! It's one way to explore. But I think for a while, at least what I saw, there was a bit of a stir across fandoms about best practice for writing trans characters (eughgghhh) and the Arbiters settled on "needs to match canon gender" and then enforced that vigorously. So personally, I love love love it when people take a canon character and say "I'm transing their gender the opposite direction." It requires you to analyze the character, pare them down to the characteristics about them that will never change (similar to the analysis required to set them in a wildly alternate universe) and then overlay on top of that the new characteristics of what it's like to be trans, how they interact with the world now, how that changes their character, etc. For example, Visitor's Celebhir has a certain tension with Galadriel that wouldn't exist in that manner for Celebrian. Very very tasty analysis going on. (I will be posting transfeminine caranthir soon - I say, having said this for the last three months). TL;DR: I think we should trans more characters, and if your first anxiety is "what if I'm transing them wrong??"/"I heard someone say you should never trans a character like this" you're probably *not* transing them wrong and it's going to be fine (and people love to beta so!)

I really am curious what people actually think afab transfem actually means here.

Like yes when we're getting into the politics of the Gendered Body and Mind are all really complex topics and any number of people can experience it differently and with nuance

But if we're going to have a really robust understanding of oppression and identity here, where oppression is the ways people are negated, marginalized, suppressed by institutions, what purpose does transfem serve in an afab woman's identity, even if she was a man at some point in her life?

I think there's a tricky thing here about co-opting sociological terms here and putting them in popular parlance based on the vibe and denotative meaning in the barest sense. Like, are there meaningful distinctions btwn "afab transfemmes" and cis butch women in the way they encounter masculinization and negation of their gender? Cis racialized women? Cis gnc women? Because there are meaningful distinctions between these folks and trans women. Namely, the specific types of limitations to accessing medical treatment, transmisogynistic bioessentialism, the mental harm of internalized transmisogyny, etc etc.

Transfem loses specificity as a term if we extend it too far. Transmisogyny is a specific oppression that trans women and transfemmes face due to the cultural narratives and stigma surrounding transfeminine bodies and the perception of relinquishing a gender that is higher social status. Afab women who detransition may be mistaken for trans women and face misdirected violence, in the same way cis women with PCOS facial hair or athletic women of colour may face misdirected violence as a result of transmisogyny but it's not the same as being the target.

It's transmisogynistic to dillute the specificity of transmisogyny like that. Tbh. And I think it's fucked up that people don't see the transmisogyny in dismissing the experiences of trans women this way.

hay-o captain, bit of a gender crisis happening over here, thought you'd be a good person to talk to about it. If i can may I ask just what exactly is masculinity? i mean rationally I know it's like- "the characteristics/qualities of men" (i think-) but just- ??????? yaknow? Gender vague and complex sometimes sorry about this-

So to me, I think about gender in terms of the associations and narratives around it. I think many trans folks have a certain flavor of gender in their mind, based in characters, outfits, cultural concepts, etc. You see this in how trans people pick names: a lot of trans men choose fairly unusual, ~fancy~ names because they are drawn to a specific flavor of manhood and masculinity.

My point with this being that if you wanna figure out your relationship to masculinity, think about the flavors of masculinity you are interested in. Because there isn't a singular Masculinity, even in White Western culture; there are a variety of masculinities. For example, a big reason why the label of Butch is important to me is because butch dyke aesthetics have shaped my relationship to masculinity. The narratives around butch chivalry are crucial to how I have understood and shaped myself. The same goes with femininity and womanhood, as I have always been drawn to & longed for a certain kind of genderqueer womanhood & femininity that felt extremely unattainable to me (which is why I identify with transfemininity). For me it's helpful to orient my identity exploration around the cultural associations I am drawn to and figure out what draws me to them from there.

Butch/Femme ask here:

What exactly is the difference between butch and dyke? Good that you pointed it out, I think I used the terms interchangeable before.

As far as I know, butch is a non-heterosexual person who is masculine presenting and femme a non-heterosexual person who is feminine presenting, is that correct?

i'm glad you decided to take the time to ask!

"Dyke" is a slur directed at lesbians, bi/pan/polys/etc. women, butches, intersex people, queer afab and transmasculine folks- it's not always lesbians who get called this slur, but it is used interchangeably to mean "lesbian" for many people. a lot of transmasculine folks reclaim it as well because that's what we get called

"butch" means queer masculinity- gay bears can be butch, lesbians can be butch, straight gender non conforming people can be butch, and so on. it is the queer presentation of masculinity, regardless of one's attraction! "butch" in older usage of the term used to be a huge umbrella the included trans men, butch lesbians, drag kings, intersex people, transfeminine butch lesbians, nb people, n masc people, and what we would now consider to be nonbinary people and genderqueer people.

"femme" means queer femininity, this can apply to drag queens, crossdressers, transvestites, transsexuals, trans women, feminine lesbians, feminine gays, feminine nonbinary people, feminine gender non conforming straight people, and so on, also regardless of attraction. "femme" used to be a broad umbrella that included feminine lesbians, drag queens, trans girls, intersex people, transmasculine femme lesbians, nb people and fem people, and what we would now consider to be nonbinary and genderqueer people. a lot of transfeminine people use the term "transfemme", too!

hope that made sense and helps clear some things up! take care, if you have more questions feel free to ask, we hope you have a great day!

Aside from Brick, are there any other names that are offensive in any way?

a lot of that sort of thing is actually really contextual! “brick” is really only offensive for transfeminine depictions of that character, “rock” would be similar. but if they’re cis or nonbinary/transmasc and afab it doesn’t matter, those words aren’t used in that way towards people with those identities.

i would probably say simple stuff like avoiding most color prefixes combined with the suffix “-face” is probably good, considering the real life history of things like blackface, brownface, yellowface, etc. but again, your mileage may vary. probably wouldn’t hurt to do a quick google search of a name before you use it just to see if it could be offensive, which is standard practice in professional writing anyway! (especially if you hire a sensitivity reader!)

i will say there’s a particular shortening of the word “raccoon” that people tend to use willy-nilly that they… really shouldn’t bc it’s an antiblack slur. just don’t use the last 4 letters of that word on their own. if you want to name something raccoon, just use the whole word.

other than that i can’t recall much off the top of my head that trips people up? just be thoughtful and do some research if you feel unsure.

i’m aware sometimes my posts can be kind of snippy or callous but i have found that when people are operating in good faith it’s really easy for those folks to respond to gentle criticism if they make a mistake, and i’d much rather have someone make an honest mistake and respond kindly when corrected than be too scared to create at all.

re: this post i agree with on the intersexism in “the AFAB experience”

Point 1) a dyadic trans woman coined CASAB, which is Coercively Assigned Sex At Birth. sex was the word, not gender, and emphasis on coercive.

there were arguments around said ‘coercive’ (should that be reserved for intersex folks? yes, it's coercive for everyone, but in different ways) - and so the C got dropped outside the intersex communities. other spaces used ASAB or advocated for DSAB, Designated Sex At Birth (more arguments about if 'assigned' should be reserved for intersex folks)

then AFAB and AMAB took off and became AGAB - gender not sex. and not highlighting coerciveness of assignment.

[as trans use developed, in my experience AFAB was meant to be more inclusive than "FtM and FtX" or "transmasculine," including trans men and (aha! a word! AFAB) non-binary people who might not ID as transmasculine, while being clearer about not meaning a non-binary person who might not ID as transfeminine but was (aha! a word! AMAB) a different 'type' of non-binary]

and so AGAB became talking about a sort of Da Vinci ideal, bell curve, archetype, factory model binary option... and has further become used to mean Original Body [which is Assumed Current And Indefinite Forever, Also] and to mean Socialization

when like. the entire original point was fuck that factory model framework. the doctor’s office is the factory. this isn't a natural process - for anyone, but especially for intersex folks.

i personally try to only use CASAB (and usually with the S or an X in the middle) for these reasons, nowadays, and to question if it's accurate or useful in context, and to highlight the history when talking about problems with AGAB.

Point 2) even folks with the same organ inventory & same dominant hormone with similar levels thereof = very different experiences, outside of* and inside of the medical industrial complex. because bodies, organs, hormones don't all work the same

(*of course, "outside of the medical industrial complex" is extra complicated for intersex folks who had coercive medical intervention begin at birth, in childhood, before they could be conscious of it, before they could meaningfully consent, or otherwise just didn't get a "before" - which is also true in similar and different ways for disabled folks who had coercive medical intervention begin at birth, before conscious memory, etc...)

so, reiterating for emphasis: same organ inventory & same dominant hormone with similar levels ≠ same experience

"all AFABs need pap smears, it’s not that bad and there's no excuse to risk your life to cervical cancer regardless of dysphoria" with the occasionally tacked on "…if you still have a cervix" is like.

no.

not all folks who were AFAB currently have, or ever had, the parts involved to make that possible or necessary. or if they do have them, it still may not be Feasible, much less "not that bad."

again bringing in disability, and chronic genital pain (eg vaginismus) is a thing, and it absolutely can prevent "routine care." botched or bigoted, traumatic medical treatment can too (trauma can be physical, as well as every other layer of experience; think of the phrase "blunt trauma").

make your points about "many folks don't realize they may still need X medical checkup if they have Y organ - hello Z identity/cultural group!" without conflating Y and Z. beyond creating different umbrella group Q to conflate with Y?? now you're not saying all women have a cervix, you're saying all people who were CAFAB have a cervix, and that hurts 1) people who don't have one anymore, by implying you will always believe they do, no matter what action they take 2) people who never had one, by implying you don't believe that's possible 3) people who have a cervix who were not CAFAB, by implying you don't believe that's possible

(also there's a cervical specific antigen blood test that hit the news in 2012. so no, pap smears aren't necessary, actually)