#and to say here we are. we lived here too. when we go to sleep under the earth please don’t forget us. please take good care of our home
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𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
ten years of being one and the same with jungkook as the country's it couple is the perfect disguise for the reality of a tumultuous relationship hidden behind the scenes.
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you welcome your boyfriend back to the country with a surprise party, just as the clock is ticking to say goodbye again. the big day is almost here and enlistment brings couples either one of two things: a ring or a breakup.
𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: idol!jungkook/female idol!reader and fictional versions of various idols
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. idol au, on-and-off relationship, angst, i swear there's fluff, and themes of first love, growing up, struggles with fame, and marriage (ish)
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. portrayal of a toxic couple (implications of emotional abuse and control), infidelity, foul language, substance use, underage drinking, mentions of the covid-19 pandemic, sexually suggestive content
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. based off of "you're losing me" by taylor swift. this is a fictional portrayal of real-life people that implement some aspects of real-life events. the series is told in non-chronological order. note that the main character is a member of a fictional idol group. more warnings may be added as the story is written. join the taglist here!
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤm.list | next
you say, "i don't understand, " and i say, "i know you don't"
we thought a cure would come through in time, now i fear it won't
TODAY’S TOP HEADLINE: bts’ rm, jimin, taehyung and jungkook set to enlist in the coming weeks!
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤautumn 2023
the confrontation
when it rained, it poured and you felt like you haven't seen even a glimpse of the sun in ages. there was a nagging feeling in your gut that it was too far gone, but like everything else for the past ten years, you swallowed it down and swept it under the rug. bad feelings didn’t exist in your relationship. that was the unspoken rule. yet, it was growing more and more difficult to mask the disappointment in your eyes or the frown fighting your lips. today marked the worst of your attempts.
seoul was unusually calm tonight and it scared you. when you moved to the city ages ago to begin your journey as an idol trainee, it was nothing but intimidating for your meek, pre-teen self. eventually, over time, your love for the city bloomed and it was truthfully because of jungkook. once young teenagers that arrived to seoul alone, you found solace in each other and embraced the change as one. he made you fall in love with seoul the same way he made you fall in love with him. dates, nightclubs, late night adventures, and years worth of moments within the city limits.
however, the streets were as hushed as you were, as you gripped your steering wheel like a robot.
the decision had been long made and you knew it was going to come around at some point, so there was no use in fighting it. after going without seeing your boyfriend for months, it should have been nothing but pure excitement.
“you’re awfully quiet,” murmured jungkook, glancing over at you from the passenger seat.
you were already annoyed to begin with, when he mentioned that he was going to have a driver pick him up from the airport, instead of asking for you. it felt like he didn’t even expect to have you waiting for him, considering the two of you had been apart due to his time working in the united states. you thought he’d be insisting for you to be the first person he saw once he came back. these frustrations were on top of several other things, which you’d been dreading to confront for even longer of a time.
and then, there was also the velvet box you spotted in the background of one of your facetime calls. you didn’t bring it up, but it was living in your mind everyday since. with jungkook’s big day fast approaching, there were a lot of conflicting ideas in your head.
you shrugged. “i’ve been filming long hours. not getting that much sleep.”
the look jungkook gave you read that he knew that you weren’t being a hundred percent honest, but he didn’t say anything. his eyes returned to being fixated on his phone.
after over ten years of knowing each other, you and jungkook could see through each other like glass. the only problem was that nobody ever wanted to speak up. you feared the glaring possibility of other buried conflict dating further back into the relationship because of this dynamic.
you didn’t think you deserved the blame for the tension in the air. there were several things in your mind, but jungkook wasn’t exactly a person who could easily mask their emotions. something was off with him, too, and you needed to figure out what it was. you could only hope for the best case scenario because otherwise, it was going to be your worst nightmare. there was no situation you could fathom where his behaviour was a result of an in between.
keeping your voice casual, you asked, “who are you texting?”
“my mom.”
you held back a sigh - jungkook was never particularly keen on involving you with his family. though you’d been together since he was sixteen, you always felt like he kept you an arm’s reach away from that part of your life and you never understood why.
“oh. tell her i say hi,” you said and he hummed in response.
whilst you weren’t in a talkative mood, it wasn’t like jungkook was doing anything to keep the conversation flowing either. you guys obviously texted and called during his time away, but the present atmosphere was awkward, like there was nothing to talk about after his grand return. you hugged and kissed at the airport, asked how his flight was, and that was that. driving him felt like a business endeavour, rather than welcoming your long-term partner back to the country.
after a few minutes, jungkook finally looked up from his phone. upon peering out the window, he grew confused and turned to you.
he questioned, “where are we going? the apartment is in the other direction.”
“just wait,” you assured, forcing a small smile. “take off your hoodie and put on what i have for you in the backseat.”
there was a shopping bag sitting behind jungkook’s seat and he reluctantly reached over, revealing a silk ysl shirt that you picked up that very afternoon. sighing, he did as you asked and made the change. you didn’t care to look over at your boyfriend’s shirtless body, too irritated at the curtness of the conversation.
you just wanted to get to the destination, the heavy silence becoming too much for you. there wasn’t even music on. you found yourself focusing too much on it, as you finally pulled up to the infamous hotel azure. somehow tucked away in the busy songpa district, it is unassuming to the civilian eye, but a well-known name amongst the circles of south korea’s entertainment industry. you didn’t “make it” in entertainment until you attended a party at hotel azure.
jungkook shifted in his seat. “what is this?” his tone was demanding, which immediately put you off. “the plan was to go home.”
to be fair, the last time that the two of you were at the azure hotel, jungkook wound up with a bloody nose after getting into it with an not-to-be-named yg idol at one of jackson wang’s wild parties. you weren’t even sure what happened yourself, bleary eyed for the majority of the night with several substances in your body. hotel azure was for idols at the top of the world with everything to lose, a favourite place of yours around 2018. it was now a place that you actively tried to avoid, but made an exception for the special occasion.
“calm down,” you shot back, not letting him get away with the voice he used. “just wait, i said.”
“i’m tired, y/n,” jungkook pleaded, as you stopped the car for the valet to take.
you ignored him - it wasn’t like it was up to you - and unbuckled your seatbelt, not waiting a second for jungkook.
not only did you pick up your boyfriend from the airport, you also spent hours meticulously preparing your appearance for the night. it didn’t seem like jungkook noticed, other than at the airport, when he questioned why you were wearing high heels.
you never wore heels unless you were working, but that changed when you met jungkook. he loved it when you wore heels and by the time your respective trainee debts were paid, made it a point. you bought platforms with the anticipation of how your boyfriend would go crazy over them. jungkook gifted you designer jimmy choos and pradas whenever you guys got into a fight. it made you feel your prettiest and he showered you with compliments every time.
now, he looked at you oddly for it, like you were doing too much.
jungkook eventually gave up and followed you in without a word, watching you take off your trench coat to reveal a stunning baby pink two-piece dress. the colour glittered under the low lighting of the hotel lobby and the corset accentuated your curves in all the right aways. except, he still did not say a word. this made you frown.
you handed off your coat to an employee and jungkook did the same. the lobby was empty, but you and jungkook knew exactly where to go, making a beeline for the elevator and pressing the button to move up to the penthouse suite.
“why didn’t you warn me about this?” he grumbled under his breath, adjusting his shirt in the mirror.
because that’s how surprise parties work, you wanted to reply. unfortunately, this was not a surprise party that you wanted to celebrate, so you didn’t even try to keep jungkook excited. you were both quiet, irritable, and only wanted to go home.
you said, “this is the part where i cover your eyes and lead you out.”
jungkook complied and you placed your perfectly manicured hands over his line of vision. other than sharing a hug and kiss earlier, this was the closest you’d physically gotten to your boyfriend in months. your hands were cold and you were close enough that he could hear your breathing - all too uncomfortable.
the elevator dinged and you nudged jungkook to step forward. the penthouse’s lights were off, but you could make out the shuffling of feet from behind the kitchen counter. it looked like everything was set up and pristine. then, in just a beat, the entire room lit up and you removed your hands from jungkook’s eyes.
“SURPRISE!”
the floor rumbled, voices roaring and bodies popping out from different places - behind pillars, couches and the bar. jungkook’s eyes brightened in a way that you had yet to see since reuniting with him earlier and it made your heart sink. you hadn’t realized how dull his demeanour was around you until something else actually made him smile.
his closest friends and family gathered in the penthouse and there was a large, golden banner that hung from the walls that said “welcome back jungkook!” the other wall was decorated with another banner, but this one said “good luck rm, v, jimin and jungkook!”
jungkook’s older brother was the first one that enveloped him into a bear hug, nearly squeezing the life out of him, then his mom. this was followed by the remainder of his band mates that managed to make the party. you awkwardly stood off to the side, a wide smile plastered on your face to mask your despondence. it seemed like jungkook’s exhaustion only existed when he was sitting in a car with you, as his laughter echoed throughout the room.
you caught jungkook’s eye and he already knew how you were feeling. while he exchanged words with other friends, it was namjoon who pulled you to the side.
“hey. you guys did a really great job with the party,” you started, looking around.
the penthouse of the azure hotel was a thing of beauty, with ceiling high windows that looked over the lights of seoul. everything shone and glimmered - the city skyline, the perfect marble floors, the expensive liquor bottles, and hell, even the perfect teeth of the myriad of a-list south korean celebrities gracing this exclusive party. there wasn’t a wrong way to ever throw a party there, but the group made an extra effort to make jungkook’s homecoming a special one.
jungkook was swarmed by several people, all asking about his time in america and how exciting it was. those were the words you used to describe it for him, too, when you sent him off months ago. you watched him take shots with mingyu and eunwoo.
namjoon shook his head, “no, no. this wouldn’t be possible without you,” he said and then glanced at jungkook, “and i’m sure he knows it, too.”
the boys, despite it also serving as a goodbye party before their enlistments, had been helping you plan the surprise for weeks leading up to jungkook’s arrival. it was one of the longest times jungkook had been apart from them and from the country in general, so they wanted to make it extra special. though you were the main mastermind behind the gathering, you initially didn’t want to do it at all.
“yeah, i hope so,” you replied, as you poured yourself a glass of white wine. “you guys all deserve it.”
over the years, jungkook’s band mates slowly became some of your friends, as well. it was somber goodbye for you in all kinds of ways. everyone was preparing to send them off with good luck and high spirits.
the boys were also preparing in their own way. you noticed that taehyung and jimin’s girlfriends were missing from the party, which only confirmed your speculations.
“it was just bound to happen,” said a voice.
it was taehyung who joined you and namjoon in a quiet circle at the corner of the living room. all of the boys looked a little bit sad, despite the celebratory atmosphere, but you read a different kind of story in taehyung’s eyes.
he smiled with a hint of gloom. “you’re looking around for her, right?”
as a fellow idol and also a girlfriend to a member of one of the biggest groups in the world, taehyung’s girlfriend grew to become one of your close confidants in the past few years. you guys were polite before, but this connection created a specific bond that couldn’t be understood by anyone else. however, you hadn’t heard from her in a few days and with her absence at taehyung’s goodbye party, you put two and two together.
to his side, namjoon clapped a hand on his friend’s back. “sorry, man.”
“i hope it was cordial,” you mustered up, ignoring the growing heaviness at the pit of your stomach. you could only hope you weren’t next.
taehyung replied. “she understood, but she wasn’t happy. regardless,” he sighed, “we’re still so young. her career is just blowing up even more, i feel like i’d only be holding her back.”
that was the way it went. when enlistment rolled around for most couples, it was either breaking up or a ring. you looked at your feet, not knowing what to say.
“jimin also told me that he broke things off with - “
a loud yelp squeaked from taehyung, who was abruptly jabbed in the side with namjoon’s elbow. the latter cleared his throat and you recognized that look. namjoon only made that face when he pulled the leader card and needed to put someone in their place. you figured that your worries were transparent to those around you.
namjoon cleared his throat. “not in a chatty mood?”
while you greeted people during the set-up of the party, you realized that you had yet to actually try socializing. things were awkward with jungkook’s parents, who you long suspected didn’t approve of you for various reasons. in general, most people were interested in chatting with the boys, which you didn’t mind. it was a gathering to send them off, after all.
“not really. you guys should go mingle with your friends,” you said, taking another sip of your wine. “it’s your party.”
“i hope i’m not overstepping, but did you and jungkook get in a fight?” taehyung asked.
you blinked slowly. “no. does it seem like it?”
“just seems like he’s nervous about something,” he commented and you noticed namjoon glare at him once more, as if to shut up.
for the first time that night, you felt a glimmer of mixed feelings that left you wondering. why would he be nervous? the big visual forming in your mind was a diamond ring. you and jungkook had contemplated marriage in the past year, but it was also the source of many arguments. you weren’t even sure you wanted to get married now, but your mother had been getting into your ear about you getting older. then, there were your respective companies who lost their shit at the idea. but, what really mattered, was jungkook’s opinion. he seemed to wave it off or change the topic at every opportunity, so your hopes for a ring lived in the back of your mind.
despite this, taehyung was right. jungkook looked nervous. he’d been irritated at being dragged to his surprise party - you wondered if it was delusional enough to believe that he had plans for the two of you, instead.
for the rest of the night, you continued to keep to yourself. you weren’t lying when you told jungkook you were tired, but you were determined to stay as long as you could and pretend that you and jungkook weren’t stealing mysterious glances at each other for the entire evening. it was obvious and only made you anxious.
a few hours later and the party only grew in numbers and in noise. you thought you lost him in the crowd, until you left to refill your nth drink and found him talking to his cousin.
the two were smiling and laughing, as his cousin appeared to be showing jungkook pictures on his phone. you assumed it was her newborn daughter - she gave birth just two months before her fiance was to be discharged and now that he was back, the wedding was just around the corner. you remembered jungkook telling you that she was proposed to on the day of his enlistment.
jungkook caught your eye and he immediately looked away - what the hell was that? he even turned slightly and you couldn’t read his lips. something was going on. you watched him shove his hands in his pockets and you swore you saw the shape of a small square inside.
eventually, you grew tired of the tension in the air and the music began to make your head pound. the longer you thought about your partner, the greater your anxieties grew. there was a chance you even just although it was late in the year and a fresh sheet of snow adorned the streets of seoul, you decided it was best to step out into the balcony to take some time to breathe.
nobody else was there, thankfully, and you let out a shiver when you stepped out. the peppermint air dispelled the haze in your head and in your heart, as taking a deep breath was the greatest relief you felt all night. though your muscles remained tense and you knew you wouldn’t last out in the cold, the balcony was a welcome change.
you weren’t sure how long you were outside when the door creaked open and just by the footsteps alone, you knew who it was.
“your guests will miss you,” you said, not even looking behind you.
at this point, you were hugging yourself to stop shivering. a rustle later and you felt a thick blanket drape over your shoulders, the wool of its make completely enveloping you with much needed warmth. you relaxed your shoulders, but couldn’t look jungkook in the eyes.
“something’s wrong. tell me.”
jungkook’s wine stained lips were pulled into a frown and although he hid it well when he was chatting away with his friends and family, you could see the exhaustion in his eyes. he sniffled a few times and you knew why, but you decided to bite your tongue. it was his party and he was an adult who could celebrate whatever way he wanted. it was also clear that neither of you had the energy to argue. instead, to his surprise, you raised an arm and gestured for him to come closer.
he sidestepped towards you and although you were shorter, let you wrap some of the blanket around him. his cold arm snaked around your waist and you tensed up again at his touch.
you continued to look out into the skyline. “i was going to say the same for you.”
“i’m really thankful for the party, love,” he ignored your question and pressed a kiss against your temple.
you mumbled under your breath, “it wasn’t easy." this was the first time all night that you were comfortable enough to physically touch jungkook and you suspected alcohol played a role in relieving the tension between you two, but it was always going to be easy to fall right back into routine.
and just like that, you felt a stinging sensation in your eyes. tears welled up and blurred your vision, which only made you turn your head away further from your boyfriend. he caught this immediately, his instincts nothing but natural when it came to you, and pulled you right into his chest.
the sound that came out of your mouth sounded nothing like you. the sob was desperate and helpless. it was akin to a toddler who couldn’t do anything by themselves. your voice cracked with each body-shaking sob and you didn’t have the guts to conceal it. your head was buried into jungkook’s new shirt, ruining it, but he only stroked your hair and wrapped the blanket tighter around the two of you.
“it’s okay. . .” jungkook cooed and for what seemed like the first time in a while, he sounded like himself.
it wasn’t like jungkook had undergone a drastic change from his time in america, but it was a gradual shift that you felt over a longer period of time. you attributed to the fact that you were no longer teenagers and things weren’t going to be the same as it did ten, even five years ago. that was what you told yourself, but you weren’t sure why you still held on to the old jungkook you knew.
in that moment, he sounded like the fifteen year old boy you met in a convenience store again. he sounded like the jungkook who wrote you disgusting love songs that were horrible, but you adored anyway. he sounded like the man who you talked about children and a big house and an annoying dog with.
as you found the bravery to finally pull away from jungkook’s comforting embrace, you looked up and saw that future in his eyes. his features softened, but he looked sad. your heart sank once again.
“you’re not just crying because i’m enlisting, are you?” he finally spoke, just above a whisper. his tone was certain, barely a question - after ten years together, jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.
you froze. there was nothing else you could do but shut your eyes tight, pretending that this wasn’t really happening.
after a beat, you found your voice. “listen. . .we both know what happens after a man enlists. look at taehyung and jimin. look at your cousin.”
over the years, you and jungkook had gone through hell and back. you thought the worst day of your life was when dispatch leaked the news that you were dating five years ago, but you were able to recover. you thought it was the worst day of your life when your breakup was witnessed by the entire world, but you were able to recover. you even thought the worst day of your life was when word got out that you and jungkook got back together, effectively proving that you were weak and were the type of girl to crawl back to her ex. you recovered then, as well.
at the second part of your sentence, you felt jungkook physically tense up.
“is that why you’ve been acting weird lately?” he replied.
you don’t know where it came from, but something triggered a spark of anger in you. still, with a tear stained face and a runny nose, you opened your eyes and met his. this was not something you would be able to recover from.
you said, “it hasn’t just been lately, jungkook. you know exactly what’s on my mind, we’ve been talking - “
“ - and you know what my answer has been, baby. you know what kind of position i’m in,” he interrupted, breaking apart from your hold and the blanket he brought for you.
he wasn’t wrong. you did know what kind of position he was in. one of the biggest stars in the world and he had everything to lose, especially with the anxieties looming in the air for him and the rest of his group. every one of them were on their toes as soon as their enlistment dates were finalized, fearing their fade from the spotlight. you and the rest of the world knew that it was bullshit, that the bts was going to be forgotten just because they were going into the military for a few years.
marriage would surely ruin that further, right?
you said, “and you know what position i’m in.”
the careless joys of your early twenties had come and gone, which left you at the mercy of your mother’s constant talks about marriage. not just her, but other family members and even some of your friends. after all, you and jungkook had been together for ten years and you were pushing thirty sooner or later.
you also had your own fears in regard to your career. jungkook once laughed when you expressed your worries about the public no longer finding you young and pretty, but it was a real fear. most girl groups didn’t last more than a few years. many of your contemporaries had long said goodbye to their idol persona and went their separate ways from their band for a new life. you were considered a lucky one to remain with your group and maintain relevance, but for how long? was it time for you to finally settle down? you weren’t granted the same longevity as jungkook’s renowned group and you weren’t bitter about it, but nervous.
snowflakes began to fall once again and as one fell on your eyelashes, you noticed jungkook’s jaw clench.
“we’ve talked about this,” he said and you knew your wandering thoughts about a potential proposal were too good to be true.
you began, “look, i know that things are different for people like us. . “ but, things were changing. in recent years, you watched several of your peers get married and have children without losing their spot in the limelight.
“y/n. . .what made you think i changed my mind?” jungkook sighed, pacing back and forth to calm himself down.
“i just thought. . .”
“i’m sorry, but i wasn’t going to propose before my enlistment.” this time, jungkook’s frustrations melted away and there was genuine sadness in his voice.
he stepped closer to you and put his hands on your waist. you didn’t know what to say. you really had been pretending that his strange behaviour was because of a hope that seemed impossible now.
you took a deep breath. “you never said no. you made it seem like you were considering it.”
that was what silenced jungkook. it was true, there was never an outright refusal from jungkook. he would say things that implied he would talk to his company again or “with time” it would come. he gave you just enough reassurance, but never confirmation.
continuing, you said, “and you even indulged in keeping the fantasy alive with me. you’re sick for talking about honeymoon destinations with me and suggesting songs we could dance to.”
“hey. i’ve said time ands time again that there is no future where you aren’t by my side,” jungkook tried getting you to look at him, but every time he moved, you turned away.
there was no reason for you to make eye contact. you felt like a fool and if you met his eyes, you knew you would just burst into tears again. then, you thought about your conversation earlier with your friends and your vision became wet again.
“were you planning to break up with me before you enlisted?”
“what? no,” he responded, but you weren’t convinced.
you responded, “it was going to be inevitable, wasn’t it? like jimin and taehyung. you were going to be done with me.”
this time, jungkook forced you to look at him by the chin and your shoulders dropped. there was a crease in between his eyebrows that you don’t remember seeing even just a year ago. he looked more tired than he did as a rookie with barely survivable living standards.
“time really goes by, huh?” you murmured, fighting to keep your voice stable.
“we were never going to break up, love,” jungkook maintained.
still, his words didn’t penetrate further than surface level. you were left numb and the chill of winter in seoul had nothing to do with it. you wished that someone would just call jungkook away, but the party inside continued on without him.
“you bought a ring. i saw it when we video called.”
jungkook’s lips parted. you knew it. you knew you weren’t losing your mind. over the last ten years, you made some crazy accusations for all kinds of reasons. this time was different and you saw it on his face.
even after what seemed like forever, jungkook couldn’t find words to say. the longer he waited to speak, the faster your heart began to race.
he rubbed his temples and finally, he spoke. jungkook spoke and you immediately dropped the blanket he brought for you, dashing right back inside. you walked past every single attendee and ignored the few that cried out your name. you didn’t care what it looked like. you just knew you had to get out of there.
jungkook said there was a ring. he began to open his mouth and explain further, especially when he read the horrified expression on your face, but you wanted no part in it. there was no room for you to think about what that meant. you only saw red.
you weren’t sure why you wanted a proposal so badly. you knew you didn’t care that much about what your mother wanted and getting married was no solution to the prospects of a dying career. you were second guessing if your wishes for a wedding were even genuine.
on the other hand, maybe you intended for the wedding to be a solution to a dying relationship.
LATEST NEWS: hybe dismisses reports that bts’ jungkook and S.IREN’s nova are engaged, seeking legal action against gossip website that went viral for spreading the false rumour
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#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagines#jungkook scenarios#jungkook angst#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x oc#jungkook fluff#jungkook drabble#bts imagines#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#kpop fanfic#kpop imagines#bts au#jungkook au
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Greedy
A/N: requested by @charbunxxi — i did something a little different, lmk if you would rather me repost a more accurate version to your request
The first thing Sukuna thought about after getting off his shift was you. You were the only thing he thought of while working, too. And, on the drive home, he almost crashed his car due to the fact that you were the only thing on his mind.
Some might say he's obsessive. Some might say he's deranged. Some might say he's a man deserving of nothing.
But then there's you, who says he's just a man in love.
He's a man who makes you breakfast and coffee — the way you like it. He's a man who draws you baths and washes your hair. He's a man who carries your bags after having gone shopping — with his card, obviously. He's a man who arrives at the apartment and — even then, still looks for home. He's a man who looks for you.
However, this time — unlike all other times, after slipping off his footwear and coat, he is unable to find you.
Maybe you were taking a shower? No. Maybe you were watching TV in the living room? Nope. Maybe you were doing laundry? Not even close.
When Sukuna finally succeeded in his search for you in your shared bedroom, he facepalmed. "'m so fuckin' stupid," he grunts out, as he crawls into bed.
You had fallen asleep while trying — but failing — to stay up in order to greet Sukuna after he returned home from work; but, he had had a longer shift than usual, and forgot to tell you.
He didn't mean to wake you. After all, it's not his fault that your pet cat just had to let out the world's loudest meow, announcing his arrival.
"You've got to be kidding me," he whispered, glaring at the little nuisance laying in the bed, cuddled up in your loving arms. The loving arms where he should be, not some ugly, good-for-nothing feline.
"My bad, baby. Swear, didn't mean to wake you—" He goes in to place a kiss on your cheek, but you simultaneously swerve away from him.
"No," you softly whine, shoving your head into the pillow.
"The fuck you mean 'no'? You seriously gonna deprive me of my well deserved kiss? After working a twelve hour shift?"
"No kisses." You mumble, your voice muffled.
Sukuna blinked at you, once, twice, thrice, until he finally concluded that you weren't just fucking around with him, and you were actually denying him of something totally essential to his well-being.
How was he meant to go on without your kisses? How would he live, breathe, eat, sleep, without your affection?
He tried to remove you from the pillow, but you instantly shoved your face back. "Noo."
"Sweetheart, I love you, y'know that already. And I wouldn't force you to do anything against your will. But, you don't understand, baby. What you're doing is completely and utterly cruel. This is wrong, on so many levels." He tried, again, to peel your face away from the pillow. And he succeeded, this time. But this time, you had a nasty pout on your face.
"You wanna know what's cruel? The fact you haven't showered, and yet, still have the audacity to crawl into bed. I'll have you know, I just replaced the bedsheets, and now here you are — dirtying them up."
"Babe, please—" He started.
"You are stinking up the whole goddamn apartment, Sukuna."
"You don't gotta be this way. We can talk it out."
"Sukuna—"
"C'mon, pretty girl. Just one? For little ol' me?"
You grumbled, but complied, albeit begrudgingly. "Fine, only one. But you have to take a shower after—mmph!"
Sukuna grabbed your face in his hands and tackled you down onto the bed, smashing his lips against yours so zealously that even the cat jumped out of your arms and off the bed.
-
It, indeed, was not just one kiss. But, it wasn't a total loss. Sukuna did end up taking that shower. And he gave you a reason to, as well.
Taglist: @beyond-your-stars @sad-darksoul @mochimoee @r0ckst4rjk @lillycore @deepchromatose @yinyinyinyinyinyin @fivehoneyharg @desihopelessromantic @taiyakii @hannas16 @acroso @msvalsius @call-memissbrightside @kelerina-ballerina @emikokomura
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KEEPING UP WITH THE LECLERCS | leclerc brothers x reader
_______________________
“Y/N, it’s the middle of the fucking night in Monaco? You better have a good ass reason too wake me up” Arthur groaned at his twin as he groggily.
“You won’t believe it.” She says
“What?”
“THE BENGALS INVITED ME TO THEIR GAME” she says, a sudden burst of excitement ran through her
“Who are the bengals again?” He sighs
“….”
“Oh wait, it’s that one dude you like, what was his name again Joe Burrow?”
“YEAH AND GET THIS, I can bring up to 5 people, so you’re coming and so are Charles, Alex, Lorenzo and Maman” she says excitedly.
“Who says I’m going?” He says, earning himself a scowl.
“You don’t want to come?” She says, “well I mean not really”
“Ofcourse you don’t! I always show up for your events and you never show up for mine” she says, maliciousness lacing her tone.
“Y/N please, this isn’t your event, you’re not walking the runway or attending a premiere” he says, his tone now matching hers.
“Well even if I was, not like you’d show up anyways” she mutters.
“What are you yapping about? You’re being so dramatic, I mean not everything revolves around you okay? Some of us have actual problems” he says giving the final blow.
The girl takes a deep breath to collect her self. All her life she had spent living in the shadows of her siblings. She just wanted someone to show up for her, she remembers her first runway show, she had 4 seats reserved for her family yet when she walked out, all 4 of those chairs were empty, why? Because Charles had a last minute deals with a brand. They called and apologized and Ofcourse she put a brave face on, but only the walls of her room heard the way she cried herself to sleep that night.
“You know what? I’m going to let that slide, I don’t know what’s going on with you but I hope you make peace with yourself, and you don’t have to come, I’ll just ask Charles and Enzo. But anyways goodnight” she says
“Y/N-” Arthur tries to interrupt but she hangs up before he can say anything.
Had she overreacted? She felt a sudden rush of guilt overcome her. She couldn’t help but overthink. Her train of thoughts were interrupted by a FaceTime call from her brother's girlfriend.
"Hey babygirl" Alexandra says, "Hey bae, what's up?" she says propping her phone up on the table.
“Just checking in with you and your man situation” Alex says, her and Charles were in the Maldives, “oh it’s good, I got invited to the bengals game so” she replies, “WAIT THATS SO GOOD” Alex says excitedly, Y/N smiles.
“Do you and Charles want to come with me?” She asks hopeful, “well Charles will be preparing for his race but I can definitely come!! When is it?” She asks, “next week!”
“Oh yeah I can definitely make it!” She says,
“Ok we can fly together!! But I I’ll see you next week love ya!” She says hanging up.
The week came even before she could blink.
“So Y/N you excited?” Alexandra says, and Y/N nods.
When they arrive at the stadium, Y/N is immediately greeted by the bengals team.
“Thankyou so much for being our guest, I’m the head coach Zac Taylor” a man says reaching his hand to which she smiles and accepts.
“This is my friend Alexandra!” She says as Alex also shakes his hand, from the corner of her eye, Y/N could feel a certain pair of blue eyes stare at her, and her cheek flushed more.
She waves to the rest of the team, however the man with blue eyes seems to approach her first. “Hey, my name is Joe, I’m the quarterback” he says extending his hand, “I’m going to be honest, I have no idea what that it” Y/N chuckles shaking his hand which caused him to smile.
“Well if you umm give me your number maybe some time could teach you about football” he says very smoothly, which causes her to get flustered.
“Oh yeah, d-definitely! Here” she says giving him her number as he smiles, “you have such a beautiful smile” Joe says bringing up her hand to his lips before letting it go, “I’ll talk to you later” he says waving before going to get ready for his game. She just stands there in shock wondering what happened.
Alexandra squeals, “I saw that!! Y/N he so likes you” she says hugging the girl.
Y/N laughs and shakes her head, but the whole time she couldn’t take her eyes of him.
joeyb_9 started following you
y/n.leclerc
y/n.leclerc modeling for Dior has always been a dream of mine, so thankful to take this huge step into my career with the most amazing photographers, stylists, and makeup artists🫶🏻
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, joeyb_9, charles_leclerc, and 13,000,000 others
alexandrasaintmleux mami😍
^ y/n.leclerc kiss me rn😍
charles_leclerc alex has been staring at the phone for the past 15 minutes….
^ y/n.leclerc sounds like a you problem bud😪
fan1 NOT JOE BURROW LIKING?!!?!
^ fan2 IK HE NEVER LIKES
joeburrowswife idk I don’t see the hype
^ y/n2fine yet she’s pulling your “man”
rachelzegler welcome to the squad Y/N❤️
^ y/n.leclerc Thankyou rach💕🥹
bellahadid weird way to propose but yes😍
^ y/n.leclerc SHE SAID YES YALL💍👩🏻❤️💋👩🏻
#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x sister!reader#arthur leclerc#joe burrow x reader#nfl imagine#arthur leclerc x reader
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We Have Now
Pairing: Nika Mühl x Reader
Warnings: lil bit of angst, suggestive content
Summary: The season is over, the seniors have graduated and the summer has begun. The future holds a lot of uncertainty, but your feelings for Nika have never been uncertain. Is it too late for you?
A/n: I just can’t resist summer themed fics. Also I’m ngl this is NOTT my best work so I’m sorry for that… enjoy anyways.
“Holy shit!”
Through the window of your bedroom you can see the sunset has turned outside an entrancing mix of tropical colours. Pink, purple, orange and yellow mix in the clouds and paint the world around you for a moment, and you know you need to see it up close.
You rush down the stairs and past the living room, where the rest of the team is sleeping on the couch with a movie on in the background.
It had been a long day for everyone, the team had planned to spend a couple days of July at an airbnb in Rhode Island back in February, and the plan thankfully took off.
The day had been filled with a long car ride, various TikToks, loud music, unpacking, swimming and barbecuing. Everyone was exhausted.
When you rush out to the deck you’re encapsulated by the scenery. Sunsets were beautiful, but even better by the beach. The white sand and deep ocean water against the rich setting sky was something out of a book.
After taking about a hundred photos and videos, you put your phone away and just stood in astonishment.
Playing basketball with these girls at Uconn was one of the biggest blessings you’d ever received in your life, and you were going to miss them so much. You often found yourself swimming in old memories at night, memories of locker room conversations, late night drives, shared playlists, loud Friday night parties, shared looks, useless yearning and post game tears.
You’d already gone through your sad feelings at graduation though, and the draft had brought some more light to the situation. You had no regrets whatsoever about your college career, except for maybe one thing. And that thing was on the beach right now.
Nika was laying on the sand, just far enough from the ocean to avoid getting hit by the high tide. She didn’t say anything when you laid down beside her, the both of you just stared at the darkening sky as the sound of waves filled the silence.
“Remember how different things were when we first met?” You finally say after some time.
Nika quietly laughs. “How could I forget?”
You roll your eyes playfully. “Gosh, I thought you were so weird.”
“You were weirder.” She grumbles.
“You just thought all Americans were weird.”
“Because you guys are! I never saw so many overly confident basketball players who were so bad till’ I came here.”
The two of you laugh together for a moment, then it’s quiet again.
Your hand is excruciatingly close to hers, but neither of you move closer.
“Everything’s so different now.” Nika mumbles, almost to herself.
You turn your head to face her. Nika’s side profile is strong, prominent nose, perfect lips, sharp eyebrows and expressive eyes. Her cheeks are pink from being out in the sun. You have the urge to make them pinker, but you shake the thought away.
“Yeah. Everything is different…but that’s a good thing”
Nika nods solemnly, but you can tell she’s thinking hard.
“Niks, don’t worry too much okay? Things work out if they’re meant to.”
She brings a hand to her face, covering her eyes and muffling her voice, which slightly wavers when she says. “What if I don’t make it?”
With this you give in and take her hand, squeezing it tight for a moment.
“Baby they’re lucky to have you. One day with you and they’ll know you’re needed on that team. Everyone else knows it for sure.”
“Says who?” Her eyebrows furrow. “I can’t just assume this’ll work out. What if it doesn’t? What the fuck do I do then? All my work will have been for nothing.”
“If Seattle doesn’t see you as an asset to their team, then I assure you there’ll be another team just waiting for you. Everyone here knows how valuable you are as a player, and the internet wouldn’t let anyone forget.”
She isn’t very convinced, but she turns her head to meet your gaze. Her eyes remind you of a puppies eyes. “Thank you.” She says, sincere and slightly embarrassed. Her hand is still in yours and your noses are almost touching. You wonder if she’d ever talk to you again if you kissed her.
At the thought of that, your stomach sinks. You sit up suddenly, hand breaking from hers. You don’t see how her face drops when you do it.
“I-“ you start, but hesitate. You didn’t want to regret anything like this again. You wanted her to know every thought in your head, even if it had a chance of going sour. “I’m really gonna miss you Nika. More than anyone else, I think.” You finally manage to get out.
She sits up now too, her brown hair blowing in the salty wind, her almost hazel eyes glinting from the reflection of the water, or perhaps something else, something like hope.
“More than anyone else?” She questions you.
“Yeah.” You say, turning to meet her stare. “I’ve always liked you more than the others.”
“Hm.” She says, as if she was expecting more.
The silence is eating at you, you just want to scream out how badly you want her. You know it’s too late, when this trip is over everyone splits. You to your hometown, Aaliyah to Washington, Nika to Seattle, Paige and the others to Connecticut. Still, you didn’t want to live with this in you forever.
“I had a massive crush on you during freshman year.” You utter as confidently as possible.
Nika’s lips part in surprise “You- you did?”
“Yeah. Major.” You scoff. Those days were almost pathetic in hindsight, obvious to everyone but Nika and yourself.
You watch as Nika draws swirls in the sand with her finger. You can practically hear the gears turning in her head.
“And…when did this crush fade away?” She finally asks you.
You let a beat pass before sucking it up and saying. “It didn’t.”
Nika’s eyes really widen now. You hold her gaze as best as you can. “I never stopped liking you. It just got stronger overtime, actually.”
You almost recoil when she scowls at you.
“Fuck you.”
“What?”
“Fuck!” She rubs her face, exasperated. “You- urgh, I wish you told me. I wish you told me way, way earlier.”
You don’t say anything.
“I wish I knew. Don’t you get it?” She whines, almost pleadingly. “God, if you’d told me way earlier we could’ve…maybe we would’ve..” she trails off.
Finding out that Nika Mühl, your best friend and longest love, also loved you should’ve been the best moment of your life. Instead it had you thinking of everything that could’ve been.
“I was scared.” You mutter. “I was so, so scared, I don’t know why. I wish I’d just told you, but you know me. I never take chances. I pass the ball, I don’t make the shot. I just…I wouldn’t have been able to take it if you didn’t feel the same. So I never did anything.”
She’s close to you now, hand on your knee, face flushed.
“What are we gonna do?”
You stare at her face, eyes darting from her eyes, then lips, the her eyes again.
Her eyes are beautiful. Honey brown, golden in the sun but piercing now at dusk, eyelashes long and fluttering as she tries to make sense of this situation.
You’ve wanted her more than you’ve wanted that ring at the end of the National Tournament every single year. The thought of you wasting time that could’ve been spent pressed next to her, skin to skin and soul to soul? It was sickening to you.
Still, here she was. Eyes begging you for something you’ve dreamed of. The sky now staining the beach a violent pink.
When your mouth meets hers it’s everything you’ve fantasized about. Her lips are full and soft, fitting perfectly against your own. You can feel her lashes tickle your face as you tilt your head just right, her arms get goosebumps when you fiddle with her hair.
Pulling away from her, you can’t help but melt at the satisfied smile on her face.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Nika says. “I just wish it could’ve happened earlier.”
“I’m tired of wishing.” You say, putting a hand on her face gently. “We can’t change anything now. It’s over. But we have today.”
She drinks in the feeling of being this close to you. “We have now.” Nika whispers.
Your kisses are sweet and chaste at first, but it’s getting colder out and you need her warmth. She changes the pace, clashing into you with a sense of urgency now. When her mouth slightly opens and you feel her tongue against yours you know it’s over for you. She can have whatever she wants.
Nika finds herself straddling you now, and you’re suddenly hyper aware of everything that’s happening.
After four years of thinking of her before bed, before letting your hands take care of yourself night after night to the thought of her, here she was in all her glory. Body toned and breathing hard, hair sprawled against her tan skin, fingers untying her bikini top.
She leans into you, but instead of kissing you she puts her mouth to your ear. You can feel her smirk against your skin.
“How much of the past four years do you wanna bet I can make up for in one night?
#Spotify#fanfic#fanfiction#uconn wbb#light angst#angst with a happy ending#rpf#nika muhl x reader#nika muhl#nika mühl#uconn women’s basketball
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and the day after that, and day after that part 2
jude bellingham x reader
there's a bit of sexy times, so..
Jude likes them older so I here’s a part 2, what can I say...
Your stance awkward and stiff as you observed your surroundings, your gaze stopping a few times to glance in Jude’s direction. He didn’t seem much concerned or reserved regarding last night events and it filled you with such ire, that his confessions turned to be your burden to solve. Giving the impression as he’s been freed after voicing his decision, if u could call it that, waiting for you to make yours. As if there was any decision to make. You never wanted to make one. Your heart turned heavier at the thought of it alone, because every solution you considered in the morning seemed difficult. It was foolish. Would you break his heart? Could you? Something was telling you that he was not going to let you, and that was what frustrated you the most.
This whole day you’ve been very attentive and observant, and the revelations of many conclusions that hit you afterwards were astounding. He’s been benevolent, and caring, starting with the mug of warm lemon water waiting at you at the breakfast table. It’s been the fifth time that he prepared you your morning drink exactly the way you made it, but it’s been the first time you noticed that he remembered perfectly. He just shrugged it off. Simple gesture, with such new meaning suddenly. And then, twenty minutes later when Mia asked you if you’re willing to join her for swim, he nonchalantly stated the most obvious thing: “It’s only nine Mia, she’s not stepping one foot in the morning sun cause it’s too harsh”. He’s known you your whole life, of course he was aware of your habits and tendencies, but it struck you like a bullet after you realised not many people around you were so considerate. He’s always been close, always your favourite person to be around. He paid attention to every little thing there could be, that you preferred cauliflower over broccoli, the opinion that milk is for calves and not humans and it’s absolutely useless for our system, therefore you never drink it, so he always went on a hunt for a proper substitute for you. Even your brother frowned after you rejected the lactose free one in your coffee. Next, he remembered that you hate musicals, too big pillows to sleep on and creased, not ironed clothes. All of it, messing with your head the whole day, you we’re fuming. You swore something in your brain started to malfunction.
And it felt like bricks falling over your head when you caught yourself analysing his current encounter with a long-legged blond near the bar. What was it today? A nutter day? You took a big gulp of your sour drink.
“What is it with you today?” Mia slumped next to you on the settee “You’ve been having your little stuffy face on the whole day. Or is it the daiquiri?” she clicked her long nail on your glass.
“Don’t know, think I ate something bad” you murmured.
“You’ve barely eaten today” she snorted.
You sent her a sharp look.
“Maybe that’s it”
The eye roll she made at your answer did not slip your attention. Giving her a proper look you could tell your friend had already had one too many, as her accent turned heavier and her hair a little messier. She was a yapper when she was drunk, that’s for sure. She will not make this evening easy for you. And you’ve already been on pins and needles.
“You need a shag” she pointed out making you roll your eyes this time.
Well, we have an expert.
“I’ve had plenty just few days ago”
“From what I’ve heard, from you of course may I add, Alex’s not really living up to the expectations” she giggled quite proud of her valuable notice.
“He’s alright!” you fought back.
“Look around you! Maybe it’s time to taste something new”
Before you could really process what Mia’s intentions were, she suddenly stood up and your eyes widened, observing her wobbly stance, expecting the unexpected.
“Attention everybody!” she shouted and you froze, your eyes glued to her bright face “My gorgeous friend here needs a proper shag!” she accented the last word.
“Mia!” you gasped trying to grasp her arm to make her sit down because clearly, that was not very wise of her. Outrageous!
Many faces gathered on the terrace obviously turned your way to find the source of this blatant declaration. Your face probably beet root at the moment. What a night.
“She’s quite a treat, as you can see” she twirled to take a look down at you “Any possible suitors please report to me first!”
You could hear someone laugh in the distance and you flinched knowing for sure, that every hotel guest will definitely gawk at you for the rest of your stay.
You gaped at your petite friend with open mouth. Words blocked in your throat.
“Now, we wait and see” she sang sitting down and kissing your cheek in the process.
“There’s a special place for you in this world” you hissed “You should start rubbing dirt on yourself”
“Oh, death threats?!” she just laughed it off.
There was a movement on your side and you prepared yourself for the worst, turning your eyes up to spot Jude with an amused expression painted on his face. Oh, he loved that.
“Dance with me?” that was all that left his lips and you frowned, gazing at his palm extended to you.
“And we have the first candidate!” Mia chirped.
“Now I have to keep an eye on her, thanks to your little announcement, Mia”
You saw her sending him a small wink.
“I accept your application, Bellingham”
And as you had enough of this not very enjoyable to you situation, you stood up abruptly, taking the boy’s hand, letting him lead you near the dancing couples. The song was too slow for your liking. You lost the sense of your own body as he placed your palm on his shoulder, the other gripped lightly in his left hand.
“You’re wearing the necklace” he observed, his voice startling you a little since you were immensely focused on his fingers displayed on your bare back.
Big, almost covering it from side to side.
His comment made you remember that you indeed wore the delicate necklace he gifted you for your 24th birthday. White gold, because he knew you adored it. You never wore it on a daily basis because you found it too precious. And that he knew as well.
“What’s the occasion?”
“Well, obviously not because I’m being presented as an escort for tonight”
He laughed at your comment and you smiled at the sound of it.
“I wore it as a totem” you started after a few moments, your hand on his shoulder twitched uncontrollably “Of my undying… love and devotion for you, Jude” you watched his features turning serious. Dark, sparkling eyes boring into yours. “All of it, strictly platonic” you specified.
A soft smirk flashing before your eyes when he spun you around, pressing you much closer to him as you faced him again. Warm flesh, hard lines of his body, close.
“I am patient” he murmured quietly.
And you felt the vibration from his words on your skin! You realised you kept your mouth slightly agape. What an arrogant, self-assured little bastard. Making this hundred times more difficult for you than you expected. What will it take for you to put up this fight?
“My father once told me” he continued, taking advantage of a lack of response from you “That if you find a person that makes your heart serene, your head calm and your body light, it means you’re home. I have this and more when I’m with you, all I’m asking for is one chance”.
You remembered the boy, always around, not as loud as your brother, gentle, considerate, the boy who used to fix your bike when your brakes started to screech or share his last sour bubble gum with you because it was your favourite. The boy who held out his hand for you when you were jumping over the fences in your neighbourhood, the first boy who called you beautiful when you wore your awkward little baby blue dress at the end of the sixth school year. He resembled him so much now, in this moment. With his eyes big and shiny, honest, sincere.
You didn’t know but minutes has passed as you reminisced, taking in the sight of his face, changed over all those years, yet eyes still the same, always. You were still rocking gently into the music but all you could hear now was slow breaths of his and yours, felt the beating of your hearts inside your ribs that were touching. The rhythm was steady, synchronised. Serene. You stopped.
Taking a step back you still held his hand with yours and there was a glimpse of something close to dismay appearing all so sudden on his expression. For the first time. There it was, you could end it now. Finally the doubt showed it’s way to the surface and it was enough. With a heart on his sleeve he confessed. And you had the tool to became the executioner. But you didn’t let go of his hand and said nothing nonetheless, just took another step back wanting him to follow. Blood pumping in your veins as you wondered what exactly were you going to do? Maybe say? But you knew what you wanted to do, you just considered if you should. Not wanting to wait too long, you didn’t head to the stairs leading to your rooms as you planned at first, instead taking a turn to the small café near the lobby, empty now at this hour, with lights low.
You faced him again, slowly placing one of your hands on his neck, the other reaching for his cheek, your thumb grazing the skin there. He pulled you closer to him, his arm fully wrapped around your middle. You sighted. After counting three steady breaths you leaned in, realising you had to stand on your toes just a little to reach him right but he lowered his head to make you both comfortable. The soft touch didn’t turn into the kiss instantly, you gently swayed making the impression of leaning back again but you quickly realised you turned a bit dizzy. It was pleasant. So when you brought your lips back to his, you finally kissed him properly and he put the perfect pressure to it in response. Nothing about it was weird, as you considered for a second before making a move. A first kiss, yet felt very natural. Like it was promised. Like it simply waited for it’s right moment. Moving your hands further up, locking them behind his head you deepened the kiss, intensifying the movement of your lips against each other and there was a moment of your lips parting just a bit more, that he took advantage of, his tongue meeting yours in a stunning flick, making you let out a timid moan. Unwise. He pushed you back gently, your bum meeting with the edge of one of the tables around. You leaned back when he sped up, the kiss heating up and your heart skipped a bit. He took notice of a gentle push of your palm on his chest, breaking the contact.
“Don’t think too much, just feel me” he whispered against your lips.
He said it to simply comfort you but it sounded so sexy you could feel tingles spreading over every inch of your skin. You refused to open your eyes at first, but when you did (a mistake) you almost choked with your own breath at the sight of him. Towering over you, close, his palm on your cheek, the other hand gripping your hip. Oh, you’ve been so foolish.
And you kissed him again, the contact more firm, closeness more certain, you could feel your breath speeding up. You were practically sitting on the surface of the table right now. Another moan leaving your throat as you could feel him sliding in between your legs, your dress hiking up a little and you were inviting him, lewdly parting your thighs.
“Jude” you breathed pulling away “We should stop there”
He looked absolutely enchanting with his pretty eyes shining in the gentle lights around you. And you didn’t move or pushed him away, so he leaned in, brushing his lips on your neck, under your ear, going lower. The warmth and wetness of his tongue on this delicate skin made you loose your composure once again and you grasped his nape closing your eyes. It was way more than just a simple contact of two excited people. You felt drugged, ecstatic, freed.
“Stop” you whispered, not very convincingly but he stopped still.
You kind of regretted it.
“I might die if you stop me right there” he rasped.
“Bit dramatic” you smiled even though you felt like agreeing.
“I’m serious” he pecked your lips to kiss you again but you turned your head away.
“Let’s go upstairs”
“To have sex?” he whispered the question into your ear, spreading goose bumps all over your neck.
You laughed.
“To talk”
#football imagine#football fics#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham#bellingham x reader#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham blurb#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham fic#jude bellingham x reader
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AITA for not letting my roommate have friends over?
So I (23nb) and my roommate (21nb) have lived together for two years now. We share a lot of the same interests, but this year they have gotten really into a game that I am not into. They go to clubs and outings all the time now, and have found a friend group with this game. This friend group is younger, still living in dorms on the university campus I go to and my roommate works at now that they are graduated.
This semester, I have had early classes basically every day, and don't want to mess up my sleep schedule too bad on the weekends, so that when I have to get up at 6 am, it's not as miserable. So I like going to bed early. Like, I am in my room, ready for bed, at 10 pm.
My roommate has asked multiple times if they can bring their friends over for a movie night, usually it is already like 9:30 pm when they ask. Every time, I ask how late there will be people here, as I am not super comfortable going to sleep with strangers in my apartment, since I have never met these people. They always respond that it will be late, definitely after midnight. This happens during the week as well as weekends.
I also know, from these past years, how loud my roommate can be when they really get into something with friends, whether in person or online. So even if I wasn't uncomfortable with people being in my apartment late while I am sleeping, I don't want to be awoken by them yelling at like 2 am. It has happened before.
It is hard for this friend group to find places to hang out, apparently, (even though there are plenty of on-campus places with tvs and couches, where people don't study, often in dorm common areas) and that is why my roommate always asks if this group can come over.
Also, after these hangouts that do happen elsewhere, my roommate doesn't sleep in the apartment, and I am afraid this will go the other way, with this group just deciding it is fine to stay on my couch because it is too late to go home. I already have to be semi-quiet in the mornings so I don't wake up my roommate through their door, I have given up making smoothies in the morning because of this. If people are on my couch I wouldn't know what to do.
Tldr; my roommate asks to invite people over late, even though I am not comfortable with strangers in my apartment while I am sleeping and I know my roommate gets loud with friends, and I have early morning classes, so I always say no. AITA?
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i heard that
reader overhears spencer checking on their baby
dad spencer x mom reader
rated e for everyone
As you lay your lovely baby girl down for her nap after gently rocking her, you hear footsteps behind you. You turn and see Spencer with the sweetest smile on his face.
“She’s so tired.” You whisper very quietly.
Spencer leans over the crib and just stares at her smiling. Tears brimming his eyes at the sight.
“She’s so precious.” He whispers quietly back. You motion for him to follow you to the kitchen and you make yourselves a snack.
“Let’s watch something!” You say picking up the baby monitor and your lunch and bringing it into the living room.
Spencer picks up his own lunch and gets you both something to drink. “Sure,” he calls from the kitchen, “You can pick something.”
You rack your brain for what to pick when you hear a noise. “Spence did you hear that?”
“Hear what?” He walks in and hands you your drink.
You motion him to “shh” and listen carefully.
You can hear your little baby softly babbling in her sleep.
“I’ll go check on her.” Spencer says getting up and going upstairs. You nod and pick a tv show to watch. You listen to the monitor and hear the shuffling of Spencer entering the room over the sound of your daughter, now crying.
“What’s the matter little princess? What do you need? Are you hungry?” You hear him say. “Here maybe this will help.” You hear the sound of him walking and figure he must be taking her to the rocking chair to calm her down. She quiets down immediately.
“Oh now you’re sleepy again. You just missed us, huh? I’m sorry sweetheart. I love you so much.” He continues speaking softly to her. “You have no idea darling. You and your mother are the best things that ever happened to me. Do you know that?” He’s speaking so gently.
His words have you in tears. This was too adorable. You hear him laugh over the monitor. You have to see this. You grab your phone and sneak up the stairs and watch him cradling her.
“You both make me so so happy everyday and remind me of the good in this world.” He’s having a hard time holding back any emotion by now and is crying tears of joy while laughing.
You snap a picture and then get a look at your daughter’s face and almost start laughing. She’s looking up at him in confusion.
(like this 🤨)
He keeps talking while she’s staring up at him like omg dude put me back to bed already, and it’s killing you! You start wheeze laughing because you can’t hold it in anymore. Spencer hears your faint laughing and looks down at your daughter.
“Oh really? I didn’t know you understood what I said. Wow! So expressive. You wanna go back to bed now?” He asks standing up.
She simply responds with “ah,” and smiles.
“Alright, geez, go back to sleep little ms. bossy pants.” He gives her a kiss on her head and then gently lays her back down and covers her with her baby blanket with the lions and giraffes on it.
You step into the room smiling so hard your face hurts.
“You,” He holds her tiny little hand, she grabs his finger. “Have captivated my heart since you were born.” He removes his hand and spins around. “And you, have had my heart since the day we met.” He taps your nose. You smile.
“ah,” She coos one last time before nodding off.
“Doesn’t she look cozy?” Spencer nods. She’s wearing a fuzzy pink strawberry print onesie, courtesy of auntie Penelope. You turn on her moon and stars nightlight and gently shut the door.
You and Spencer are quiet until you get back downstairs.
“When did you sneak in?” He asks.
“When I heard you tell her how much you love us.”
“Oh you heard that?” He asks.
You pick up the baby monitor, “I heard that.”
“Ahh, makes sense.” He lays down on the couch loosening his tie and removing his shoes. He takes a candy from the snack bowl and eats it.
You lay down on the couch with him and click play on The Munsters.
Three episodes in, you’ve fallen asleep too. Yawning at first before your eyes closed fully. Spencer keeps awake and watches you while running his hand through your hair. His soft caresses had practically welcomed the sleepiness into your eyes.
Spencer was the happiest he’d ever been.
the end💞
-
-
happy spencer happy spencer
tags 🍓 -
@whoisspence
@lemonadeinfuser
@fictionalobssed
@exoticisles
@in-another-april
@gallifreyan-idiocracy
(if anyone else would like to join tag list you can comment a 🍓)
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RAVENSTAR’S APOLOGY
A fic by buttercup-unlimited :3
Author’s note: Here’s me drabbling for a while. Sorry if I get any lore/pronouns wrong, I’m trying my hardest but I am very tired 😭
The cave was vast and looming, the cracked rock face seeming to climb endlessly into the inky blackness above. A single word could echo dozens of times around these walls, spreading like a whispered rumour into the ear of another. The air hung heavy with bitter cold and silence, spare the eerie rustling of shrubbery from the clearing and the occasional warning call of a nearby bird.
Leaders of Fallenclan’s past only ever tended to use part of the intimidating space as a sleeping den, preferring to make their nests in a smaller corner and keep warmth in for as long as they could. Goldenstar infamously allowed kits to play in the space he left unused, simply stating that whatever was his, was the clan’s. Even Maplestar picked merely a decent chasm to curl up into, never needing anything more. Every leader that had come before, in fact, hadn’t dared to flaunt such a cathedral all for themselves.
But Ravenstar was nothing like the leaders that had come before. No, he was stronger. Smarter. Shrewder. Grander. The day that he had received his nine lives, Ravenstar had returned to camp to make a very deliberate show of slowly building his nest, twig by twig, in the very centre of the den. A statement, if you will, the marking of what was very clearly now his territory. His eyes had glowed in a strange sort of way that day. Forebodingly. If you looked close enough, you just might have seen the rush of power going straight to Ravenstar’s head. Leadership had that effect on some cats.
Littleleaf had been there. Every day, since they were born, Littleleaf had been by Ravenstar’s side. He had watched him through his apprenticeship, arguing with his mentor at even the most trivial of things. Older cats would often say that he was a strong-willed fellow, well suited for a powerful position one day. If only they had known who he would become.
Ravenstar had lost everything except Littleleaf. The two brothers were the only thing tying one another to reality, saving each other from fluttering away in the breeze—like a leaf under a rock, safe…and yet stifled.
“Ravenstar?”
Even the name bore a sense of importance, of tension. Littleleaf regretted the call as soon as he had uttered it, not helped by the constant repeat of his word as it travelled up the gossiping walls of the cave. He felt so small, so insignificant, in this place. Something about its legacy was an all-too-cruel reminder of the fleeting nature of existence—Littleleaf almost felt as if he could drop dead right there, on the ground, and it would only be a flashing moment in time.
He took a few tentative steps forward, careful not too make too much noise on the cold stone floor. Most of the den was hidden in shadow, daring any cat who wasn’t Ravenstar to even attempt to venture further.
“Do you have any time to talk? I have some news…” Littleleaf tried again, cringing at how easy it was to boom in these chambers.
“News? This should be interesting.” A voice drawled from behind him, causing Littleleaf to flinch as he turned. Ravenstar had perched himself on a jutted-out rock somewhere high up the wall, his tail tucked neatly over his paws as he observed.
“Oh, hello. You frightened me, brother.” Littleleaf chuckled nervously. Something about their relationship, usually so close and easy, had felt strained as of recently. It was no longer so easy to approach Ravenstar.
The Fallenclan leader smiled, eyes glinting maliciously. His black pelt blended in perfectly with the shadows of the rock face, almost like they had belonged here all along. This was Ravenstar’s home now, and there could be no dispute about that.
“Sincerest apologies. I’m waiting…?” The leader mewed coolly. It was clear that he had no time for small talk, not even with his kin.
“Right. Of course. Well, we weren’t sure when to tell you, but…here we go.” Littleleaf took a deep breath. It was awkward, trying to give news to someone several feet above you. “Moorthistle is expecting kits. You’re going to be an uncle.”
Boom.
A million thoughts seemed to rush through Ravenstar’s head all at once. The coolly composed tomcat, usually so calm and purposeful in his mannerisms, seemed to struggle to maintain his balance from his vantage point as he took in the news. His facade flickered, just enough for Littleleaf to notice, and for a second or two Ravenstar was just a confused young tom again.
“Kits.” Ravenstar repeated, bright eyes darting to just about every corner of the den. “Kits, belonging to you and to Moorthistle. In Fallenclan.”
Littleleaf nodded distractedly, craning his neck to get a better look at his brother. “Yes, I…are you alright, Ravenstar? You look rather shocked.”
Ravenstar seemed to snap back to attention all of a sudden, jolted back to life by the attention of his brother, momentary crisis over as soon as it had began. He straightened his neck, focused his gaze and gave his chest a few calming licks, whispering something inaudible to himself.
“Yes.” Ravenstar eventually replied, keeping his answers concise and dry—he was back to normal, indeed. “I’m fine thank you, brother. I was taken by surprise, is all.”
Littleleaf nodded. “Alright, then.”
There seemed to be eons of silence between the brothers, both unsure of what to say next. When did it become so hard to conversate?
It was only when Littleleaf seemed to be on the verge of turning and leaving that Ravenstar spoke again, blurting words in a hurry as if in an attempt to make him stay.
“This is very good news, Littleleaf.” He mewed loudly. “More kin for you and I. More kits for Fallenclan. I’m sure…I’m sure that they will grow up to be fine warriors. May Starclan bless you.”
Littleleaf knew the words were intended for comfort, but all he could find within himself to feel was hurt. Why was his brother, so high and mighty now on his pretentious throne of rock, speaking to him as if he were any other old aquaintance?
“Why do you hold me so far from your heart, brother?” Littleleaf asked before he could stop himself. He wished that he had stayed silent, seeing Ravenstar’s false smile drop. The last thing he needed for himself and Moorthistle was tension with the leader of their clan.
Ravenstar narrowed his glowing eyes, looking bemused at best. “What exactly do you mean?”
Littleleaf shook his head, suddenly feeling very warm under the roasting heat of Ravenstar’s gaze. “I didn’t mean anything. I was just thinking out loud, really, don’t listen to me…”
Ravenstar did not look convinced. As if deciding something to himself, the sleek black tom began to leap nimbly down to meet his brother on the cave floor. Was he going to berate him? Banish him? …Hug him? Littleleaf wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.
They stood face to face for the first time in what felt like moons. Equal, it appeared, if only for a moment in time. Littleleaf often forgot that he was larger than his brother—because, in so many other ways, he was not.
“I…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Littleleaf apologised, trying to back out of the hole he had dug himself into. He had never believed Ravenstar guilty of the crimes some suggested he had committed, but he didn’t intend on finding out if the accusations were truthful tonight.
“No. I’m the one who should apologise.” Ravenstar insisted suddenly, taking Littleleaf by surprise. “I… am sorry, brother. “
Littleleaf practically sputtered. This was the first time he had ever been apologised to by his brother, and most probably the last. He felt that the occasion should become an annual celebration.
“I know I have been distant, as of late. Partly because of my new duties, but also…” Ravenstar let out a laboured sigh, full of tension and grief that Littleleaf didn’t even know he possessed. “I care very much for you. More than you know. But it’s difficult for me. I see so much of them…in you.”
Littleleaf didn’t need to ask who his brother was referring to. “I see them, too. Everywhere.” He half-whispered.
Ravenstar held up a tail to silence his brother—an old leader tactic used to indicate that he was not yet finished saying his peace.
“I wanted to protect you. Show you how strong I could be on my own. I wanted to be the best I could be for you, Littleleaf. I am sorry if this meant sacrificing the time we used to spend together.” Ravenstar confessed. It was clearly difficult for the leader to talk about his feelings for such a prolonged period of time.
Littleleaf stroked his tail along his brother’s back comfortingly, the way he had when they were kits. “Thank you.” He murmured.
Ravenstar inclined his head. “I am happy for you, Littleleaf. You will make a great father. And perhaps…perhaps I will make a great uncle.”
Littleleaf wasn’t sure what to say. Was there anything he could say?
Perhaps, in this fleeting moment in time, all Ravenstar needed was a shoulder to lean on.
(Beetle note: THIS IS SO GOOD!!!! i love the exploration of Raven and Little's relationship,,, its so awesome)
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bakugo katsuki x male!reader
note: just a thought.
"the fuck are you doing here?" katsuki growls, seeing the masculine figure with head inside the fridge.
"i live here," he responds, taking the cold dinner and a beer, "ya should buy more meat."
katsuki's eyes follow the trace of stains that the clothes of the man has. he sits on the couch and turns on the tv.
"that shit is blood, isn't it?"
"oh, fuck, fuck, sorry kats, i'll clean it later," the man says, taking his cargo pants off and leaving them on the floor.
katsuki sits on the other couch, remaning quiet and watching the tired man in front of him. messy and long black hair, eyes bags under his tired eyes, small smile forming as he watches the program, scratched neck, blood stained legs on a lotus position.
"could you stop looking at me like that?" he whispers, leaving the can on the coffee table and laying on the couch "i'm close."
the man closes his eyes and turns. suddenly, the man coughs.
"fuck…" the man stands and rinses the blood off his hand. katsuki exhales, standing and walking towards the room.
"if you wanna sleep with me then take a shower, ya nasty as fuck."
katsuki entered the bedroom. 2:50am displaying on the digital clock that remained on his side table. he layed on the left side, on his arm. he tried to go to sleep while hearing the other man silently entering the bathroom and water crashing with his body.
he pretends to be asleeps as the man barely dresses with clean underwear and takes refuge with him under the sheets. the man holds katsuki's waist tight and presses softs kisses against his back.
"i'm sorry, kats, i'm really, really close," he murmurs, "you don't deserve this."
katsuki stays still as he feels his shirt wet. the man coming undone as he falls asleep.
it's 6am and he's not there. katsuki goes on with his usual rutine. eat breakfast, clean the mess and get ready for hero duty. he walks to the agency, where the case that he and his sidekick have been working on waits for him.
"good morning, boss. we have new info about the case," katsuki sits and the sidekick continues, "we think the organization is falling into pieces. ghoul has been seen movilizating to another province. informants say other suspects have traveled too."
"he's probably forming an army of his own."
katsuki nodds and lets them retire. he looks at his phone, no calls, no messages. how much more time he'll need, he wonders. katsuki sighs and goes out on patrol.
couple of days pass on without a single word from the man. he's neither gone home since that day. katsuki cooks for him, three cold dinners already in the fridge, waiting for the man to eat them. he stays awake, waiting for him to arrive all hurt, but he doesn't.
as kasuki makes another dinner his phone rings. unknown number.
"hi, kats," soft voice coming from the other side of the line, "how ya been?"
"we decided to make an incursion tomorrow morning," he says.
"don't talk to me about work, baby, tell me something else."
"don't call me baby, mother fucker," katsuki growls and the man laughs softly. he knows he's tired "i bought wagyu meat, ya shall came and eat that."
"that sounds delicious," he whispers, "i love you, kats."
"don't say that shit that way, ya sound like saying goodbye to me," katsuki sighs, "finish that shit and come home, i don't care if you die, you have to come back or i'll kill you."
the man burst into laughter. it's sweet hearing him like that.
"tell me ya love me."
"i'll tell you when you home."
"i have to go, kats," the man warns after someone calls hims, "i love you."
"love ya too."
"you told me you love me, ha!"
"cut that shit off! stupi..." he hung up.
katsuki sighs and continues cooking. that would be the fourth meal.
"we're going to start the operation, in one," the heroes took position, katsuki and the sidekicks beside him, "two..."
katsuki takes a deep breath, he feels all his body now ready.
"three!"
the crowd moved towards the entrance of the abandoned building. quick paces as they started covering the area and weird looks started to appear between the teams.
bakugo reached the last floor. there was no one there. not even a stain of blood.
"sir, team leaders said they have found nothing. this site is clear."
katsuki returns home in the evening. the night is almost setting. he opens the door, there's no shoes in the front door, no blood stains on the floor, but the tv is on.
he runs, the window is covered in a trace of blood. the fridge is barely open and he's there, laying on the couch, a hole in his stomach.
"shit, who did this to you?" katsuki asked, sitting on the floor next to the man.
"hi, pretty boy, how are you?" a small smile painting his croaked lips and one eye still closed.
"why the fuck are you in that state? you are barely alive," katsuki remarks, now noticing the missing eye.
"if i would die, i prefer that you kill me," he says. katsuki looks at him, frowns and a feeling of impotence covers all his body. suddenly the man holds his hand, "i did it, kats, i'm out of that shit."
katsuki remains silent, just looking at the man. the jacket he liked so much now was covered all in dry blood, his shirt with a hole that almost covered it, new skin just starting to generate.
"i look bad, don't i?" katsuki nodded and the man barely laughed, "i'll be the sexy man you fell for in a while, i have been eating well."
the man pointed at the coffee table, the containers with all of his dinners were there, a spoon on the side with food stamps. the black mask is also covered in blood. katsuki stayed on his side for a while. soft breathing as the man rests.
without a word, katsuki helped him reach the bathroom. he helped him take a seat in the bathroom stool and started undressing him.
"i didn't know you had these kinks with a barely alive man, kats," the man laughed, a sudden pinch on the place where his stomach would go.
"shut the fuck up, asshole," katsuki opened the warm water key, the bathtub filling slowly.
in silence, katsuki cleaned the man's body with a towel. light red water falling as the man stayed quiet under katsuki's touch. he was gentle with him. taking care of not touching the hole. then covered up the injury.
"look, my eye is coming back," the man smiles, katsuki does too.
they ended up in bed. both wearing the matching pajama set that the man had bought some time ago.
"please, come with me," the man pleaded. katsuki couldn't say no, slowly he accommodated himself next to the man who embraced him.
"how did you end up like this?" katsuki asks.
"i... i turned into a monster, kats. had to eat them all," the man said, purely referring to those who fell in battle, sad tone and expression on his face "while i was full of energy the regeneration worked at its peak point, i used all battling him, i pierced his heart and separate his head from his body so he left me with this hole... i'm finally free, kats."
katsuki stayed quiet, barely being able to recreate the image in his head. he caressed the injured man's skin while the man played with his toes.
"what's the plan now? after you heal."
"i should look for a job, cannot let my beautiful wife work her ass off," the man grabbed katsuki's ass with a cocky smile on his face.
"i'm not your wife," katsuki whispers, controlling himself in order to avoid hitting him.
"ya not? i have bred ya a thousand times and ya already have the tits," the man puts katsuki above his pelvis, just below the injury, he squeezes katsuki's chest with both hands.
"don't, you hurt," the blonde says as the other rubs his skin below the clothes.
"like it hard, don't ya?" cocky smile on the lips. the missing eye is almost full again, "hug me and tell me ya love me."
katsuki accommodates himself next to the man, one arm over his chest, reaching the face. he stays there, comfortable, just in silence. wonders how much time this bliss could continue.
"i love ya, dumbass."
"i love you more, baby boy."
days pass by. the man soon got a job due to this excellent resume. katsuki still does hero duty, patrol in the morning, paperwork after lunch, and by dinner he's already home. a happy smile and welcoming hug there, waiting for him.
"ya have been making dinner lately," katsuki remarks.
the man nods, "the least i can do."
both man eat dinner together, seated at the dinner table while sharing a chat. the man speaks the most, talking about his engineering work and the co-workers. katsuki listens and sometimes asks something, he avoids talking about his hero duty, so the man being a chatty one is perfect for him.
"we should go see your mom and dad, don't think it is right to delay that when i'm already free, tomorrow's your day off, right?" katsuki nods, eyes fixed on his food, "could we go tomorrow? i'll pay for dinner."
katsuki nods again.
after sharing an intimate moment in the bathtub and then in the bed, katsuki's left with his own thoughts as the man sleeps beside him. he knows this has to come to an end.
"the old hag said my father isn't feeling good, we'll have to reschedule our dinner, i'm sorry."
"oh, it's okay, i hope your dad gets better," the man says and starts taking off his blazer.
"we could go to that park you like and eat something there," katsuki says, the man's eyes now filled with joy as he nods quickly.
he changes for the new jacket that katsuki gave him after the last one was completely unusable.
"thanks to the gift of ma wife, i look damn hot, don't i?"
"yeah, you do."
the man smiles and takes katsuki's hand, heading to the apartment door and chatting about nothing while leaving the building.
soon enough they arrived at that park that the former villain liked that much. they ate some street food before having ice cream and walked to a more private place.
"here, we meet here for the first time," the man said, a nostalgic feeling covering his chest, "you told me to die when i asked you for your number."
"yeah, i did. fucking weirdo that asked me out when i first meet him," katsuki growls, one hand inside his pocket.
"but ya fell so bad for your sexy, awesome husband, don't ya?" cocky smile on his lips as he tightens the grab on katsuki's.
time to finish this off.
"give me your hands," katsuki ordered, the man showed them to him, the blonde took the handcuffs out of his pocket and said, "you're under arrest."
"oh, kats, yer getting kinkier over time," the man said, laughing a bit and getting close to the red eyed man, "let's go home so ya could have me real nice."
the man got under alert when people in costumes started appearing. heroes. the man looked down, handcuffed hands, looked up, cold red eyes. a detective showing him his plaque and talking to him.
"kats, what's this? these yer friends?" the man stuttering.
"you're under arrest, ghoul."
"kats, take this thing off me, please," the man said, policeman taking him by the shoulders, "kats, please, please, don't go on with this joke, please."
the man was sweating cold, heavy breathing as the people surrounded him. he was getting anxious. pleading eyes looking at katsuki, who remained there, standing still.
"katsuki, please," the blonde negated his head, a heart breaking and suddenly all felt in silence. he looked down, a policeman holding the security wrap, "could you please not? i... i go with you."
police man looked at the man, then the number one hero.
"i'm sorry, it's protocol."
after that the black haired man was taken to the prison.
after months katsuki was able to visit the man in prison. the only purpose was to convince him to talk more and give the detective more information about the villain organization.
he was seated in the middle of the room, no more security around him than the guns on the roof ready to shoot if he activated his quirks. lost eyes, slow breathing. the hair was longer, he had gotten back the eye bags and he looked way too skinny.
"how are you?" katsuki asked, the man remained quiet, not even looking at him, "don't wanna talk to me?"
katsuki huffed, waiting for him to answer something. his patience grew smaller with each second that passed by. foot hitting the floor while looking at the man. he couldn't stand it.
"i'm out this shit," the blonde standed and walked towards the door and before he could get out the man speaked.
"why... why did you do that?" slow words, tired heart, "i understand you position being a hero, but i still think you could have gave me some sign..."
both remained in silence.
"did you felt the same way as i did? was all a farce? the nights we spent together, when you told me you loved me? was all that part of the mission?"
katsuki couldn't answer.
"for a long time i had nothing, just one thing to protect and then i met you and thought i may be able to have a life, someone to get back at home," the man looked up, tears running down his eyes, "you should go, katsuki."
"have you been eating?" the blonde asked, still without looking back at the man.
"sure... i'm sorry i can't be helpful to you. i'm not snitching on my friends," a large sigh came out to him, "this will end soon."
"what do you mean?"
"you saw me, i was at my best when you first met me and before being here," katsuki frowned when hearing the man's words, "cow meat is great for keeping me alive if i have it in big amounts, if i don't eat human flesh right now i'll die."
"so you'll just die? tell them what they need to know, they will lower your sentence and i could bring you all the wagyu you would need."
"it doesn't work like that, kats. this power was given to me and it will kill me. you shouldn't worry about my former co-workers, they're on the right track, i took care of that."
katsuki left. no words, no goodbye.
"kacchan, i'm sorry i-"
"shut the fuck up, deku."
the service was held at a small venue, surprisingly for the few policemen, the detective and a few heroes the venue was full. people would give their respects to katsuki.
"sir always said you were a pretty blonde, sure we didn't expect you to be a man nor a hero," one man said, chatting after the corpse was cremated.
izuku standed next to katsuki, trying to support him.
how did you know him? if i may ask," the detective intervened.
"he helped me and my sons get a job, he was a great engineer."
"yeah, he was," katsuki whispered and retired.
"hi, kats. i'm sorry you have to see me like this, lately i have been a jerk with you, i'm sorry about that. i know i'm dying soon, i feel weaker each day and... don't know just i thought i should tell you that i love you and you shouldn't feel bad about this, you did what you had to do, only brave men do. you never deserved this, to get involved with me and my stuff, i hope you can forgive me and i will always love you."
katsuki closed the laptop screen and huffed.
"stupid son of a bitch."
in the front building were too black silhouettes, one holding some binoculars watching inside the apartment.
"sir, we should go now, you're still weak."
"yeah, just let me have this a little more, this is the last time i see my wi-... i see him."
#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#boku no hero academia#bnha#boku no hero academia fanfic#my hero academia#male reader#katsuki bakugo x male reader#pokequirks
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Done Enough (Critical Role Fanfic) Chapter 2
For the first time in a long time, Ashton wished his weapon had a blade.
The fleeting satisfaction of reducing branches to splinters had worn thin, leaving behind only the sturdiest trunks and the most resilient saplings that bounced off his hammer as if mocking his fury. His rage boiled beneath the surface.
With a shout filled with desperation and anger, he leveraged his full strength against a nearby tree. The tree shuddered under the impact but stood firm, immovable and indifferent. Ashton’s shoulders heaved, sweat trickling down his stony exterior,
“That’s an ironwood. Your hammer’s as good as useless.”
Chetney's voice cut through the tension, oddly calm amid the destruction. He stood a few feet away, idly whittling away at one of the half-pulped branches Ashton had discarded.
Ashton panted, his breaths coming in heavy, labored gasps. “Can’t sleep?” he managed to say between breaths.
“Not when there’s so much good wood being wasted. It was calling to me,” Chetney said wistfully. The branch in his hand was starting to vaguely humanoid. “And you’re loud as hell. I’m surprised half the camp isn’t awake.”
Ashton didn’t have it in him to feel regret. Chetney continued.
“I wonder what FCG would say if they were here,” he remarked.
“They chose to kill themself. They don’t get a say in how we grieve.” Ashton replied sharply.
“That’s not fair, Ashton.” Chetney said coldly. “They saved our lives.” Ashton tasted a pinch of shame, and tried to wash it down with anger.
Chetney sighed deeply and took a seat among the roots of the ironwood, his whittling becoming almost unnaturally quick. “You get to be angry, that’s fine. But don’t poison their memory. The rest of us have to grieve too.”
Ashton’s knees felt weak. He sat down, resting his hammer over his lap, and breathed deeply.
“If FCG were here,” he said tiredly, “they’d say something about us all coming together and supporting each other as a team. And they’d probably say they were happy. I bet they were happy, at the end. They got to do what they’ve always wanted to do.”
Chetney tutted. “Very edgy, Ashton. You act like they did this to you and not for you. Listen, I’m made of stronger stuff than the others, and even I’m feeling a bit fucked up by this. So I get it. But keep that bitterness between us, okay? Or between you and the hardwood.” he added, patting the scarred trunk of the tree. “The others aren’t doing very well. We need to keep an eye on Orym. He’s getting pretty dark.”
Ashton leveled a long look at Chetney. The gnome looked weary but resolute. “How are you doing?” Ashton asked gruffly.
Chetney smiled wryly. “I feel old. And I don’t normally feel old. It’s just... it’s tough when someone so young loses their life. Imagine how long FCG could have gone on for. They might have been practically immortal with that body, we don’t know. They could have outlived all of us.”
“They were hundreds of years old.”
“Maybe in body. But they’d been alive, what, like three years?”
“Give or take.”
“Three years old... That’s truly tragic. They never even got to have a childhood.” For a moment, Chetney had a hollow look that made him seem every bit as old as he claimed to be.
“They made me this horrible toolbox when they tried to—” Chetney made a sawblade motion, “—carve me up that first time. The craftsmanship was just appalling. You know what that looked like to me?”
“A waste of wood?”
“No. Potential . Nowhere to go but up.” Chetney looked up to the stars, his voice filled with a mix of wonder and sorrow. “They had only just figured out they could live, hadn’t even worked out what that meant yet. It just sucks.”
Ashton let the words wash over him and sank a little deeper into himself.
“Try not to think about it.” A soft voice sounded from the treeline. Orym dropped down, quiet as a shadow, wandering into the newly made clearing. “Their potential… what they could have been. It’ll drive you crazy.”
Chetney sighed deeply and returned to his whittling. Ashton turned to see Orym, who looked smaller than usual, haunted. His eyes were red, his cheeks puffy, and it was almost too raw for Ashton to bear; he suddenly felt like he was intruding just by being there. If FCG were here, he’d offer a hug.
“Are you okay?” he said, as gently as he could. Orym scrubbed a hand over his face.
“Right now, no. Eventually, yes…” Orym’s voice trembled. “But it doesn’t feel like it yet.” He took a shaky breath. “I know how this goes. So I just need to remember that it won’t feel like this forever. It’s hard to imagine... It’s just hard to... It’s hard.”
Ashton felt tears welling for the second time that evening. He scrambled mentally for that anger, that blessed distracting rage that could hold them at bay. Something else came to mind, unbidden, and he latched onto it. He moved towards Orym and pulled the halfling into a gentle hug.
Pain rippled through his form as Orym hugged back, sobbing. The hug was nice; the pain was grounding. Everything else dimmed a little for a moment. He could see FCG behind his closed eyelids, and for the first time that evening, he felt that the little Aeormaton would be proud of him in this moment.
Orym released Ashton earlier than he expected, probably not wanting to cause more pain. The absence of that sensation felt almost lonely. Orym sniffed and rubbed his eyes.
“You need to sleep.” Chetney remarked gently. “You both need to sleep. I’ll take watch.”
Orym stilled, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “Back to back?” he stammered suddenly. Ashton stared at him blankly. “Sorry, it’s just something I saw—something Dorian—listen, do you want to sleep back to back? I think I’ll just sleep better if I’m not alone. It might help you, too?”
“Back to back,” Ashton echoed tentatively. “Yeah, I can do that. Just not too close.”
“Got it,” Orym said gratefully. He moved to pack up his bedroll.
“Enjoy your sleepover,” Chetney remarked offhandedly, returning to his whittling. He was gently carving a pair of mismatched lenses onto a tiny smooth face. Ashton let his eyes linger on the carving a moment longer before following Orym to camp.
It turned out going back to back did make it easier to sleep. And to Ashton’s great relief, he didn’t dream.
#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#cr3#cr fcg#fcg#cr ashton#ashton greymoore#orym of the air ashari#orym#cr orym#chetney pock o'pea#cr chetney
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you don't have to post this, but I thought it would be funny!!!
Nimblekit: I just scream a lot... I just, scream... a lot
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Goldshine: With all due respect, which is none,
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Sparkspeckle: You know how someone can say “I respectfully disagree”? What about “I disrespectfully agree” for when you hate someone but they are unfortunately correct.
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Shadebreak: I am always up for potential rule breaking.
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Goldshine: Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself, I do it regularly.
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Nimblekit: 80% of people are actually ugly because of their face, you know.
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Pearlstar: Trans people? In my clan? It’s more likely than you think.
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Blisswhistle: For the last time, you can’t die of adhd.
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Sparkspeckle: You can do whatever you want forever :D
Stormwhisper: I love you, but that is not helpful.
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Stormwhisper, too nervous to ask for emotional support: Man, it smells like wrongdog in here.
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Gravel: Aren’t you like 5’2?
Firebeetle: I self identify as tall.
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Pearlstar: Every day my joints are shocked and disgusted that I would use them for their intended purpose.
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Sparkspeckle: You can never lose an argument if you say “shut up nerd” at the end.
Icesheep: Yes you can.
Sparkspeckle: Shut up nerd.
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Goldshine: In my defense, your honor, I simply do not care enough.
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Nimblekit: Your honor, in my defense, who cares like omfgggggggg who cares????????? Like come onnn.
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Skykit: Are you a girl or a boy?
Shadebreak: Uhh, well some people aren’t girls or boys!
Skykit: Wow, just like snails...
Shadebreak: ???
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Straight Man: Hey
Titania: That’s enough.
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Lilacpaw: I respect perfume commercials being like, we can’t show you a smell, mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds?
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Shadekit: Hey we are all really small, do you wanna sleep in a pile.
Icekit, Stormkit and Sparkkit: Yes.
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Blisswhistle: “Fuck it, we ball” (Malnourished, heavy eye bags, dehydrated, on the verge of insanity.)
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Goldshine: Evil infodumping where you just tell lies.
Sparkspeckle: Tiktok
Icesheep: 5-minute crafts
Shadebreak: Resume
Stormwhisper: Men
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Nimblekit: I fucking hate the hand that feeds me, I think i’ll do something fucked up to it.
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Nimblekit: Sick injury bro, would be a shame if i added insult to it.
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Pearlstar: I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there fr.
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Gravel: I wish they sold offbrand cars, get me a damn honder.
Firebeetle: Pulling up in the revolver.
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Shadebreak: When two buses pass each other and the bus drivers don’t wave at each other, like omg... did you guys break up...
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Blisswhistle: I can still crack a joke mid-breakdown, that’s why everyone is lucky to have me in their lives.
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Gravel: They don’t kill the presidents like they used to.
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Berrykit: The LMAO+ community.
Nimblekit: It’s LMFAO+ this is party rock erasure.
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Sparkspeckle: It’s harder than you think to communicate with someone who isn’t familiar with the world of spongebob.
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Goldshine: Pipe down your honor, you weren’t even there.
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Goldshine: JFK?? Like from umbrella academy?? Haha... you know he’s not... real, right?
Stormwhisper: Wait, I though JFK was from clone high??
Sparkspeckle: JFK, as in Jesus Fucking Khrist, from the bible?
Icesheep: Isn’t JFK that fried chicken fast food chain.
Shadebreak: Guys cmon, it’s Jennedy Fennedy Kennedy, you gotta know this.
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Goldshine: Mfs be named “James” and it only be one dude.
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Nimblekit: Does violence have to be the last resort, can’t it be like third.
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Lilacpaw: Free my man, he did all of it but I don’t care.
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Pearlstar: Let me get this straight. Grabs the nearest heterosexual. Now, where were we. (He is holding nobody)
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Blisswhistle: I’m so done with self care, it’s time for others harm.
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Shadebreak: Fun fact. Shut the fuck-
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Sparkspeckle: Nuh uh
Icesheep: FYM “NUH UH”???
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-⚡ anon
Genuinely made me laugh, I love these
#blisswhistle telling ‘for the last time you can’t die of adhd’ to Cresskit and Skykit#and Stormwhisper says in the background ‘wait you can’t?’#this is all very accurate lol#aphidasks
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I'm going to lose my fucking mind
#For context: I was going to make a post complaining about how lesbians don't have enough good musical theater duets#(like we have the love songs from 'The Color Purple' which're alright but doesn't match the passion or desperation present in the book imo#'Changing My Major' which is a great love song but doesn't hit that sweet duet spot#'Dance With You' and the last verse of 'You Happened' from The Prom are sweet but the girls barely get to actually sing about each other#Honestly 'Oh Well' from Love In Hate Nation comes closest to what I want but it ends on a bittersweet note unless you see the show live#If only Elphaba and Glinda were canon...#But anyway. I can't believe that there's an adaptation of The Color Purple coming in the year of our lord 2023 and this is#how they're talking about Shug Avery. Her *role model*. Lock up your *husbands*. Ick. Pfaff.#I mean they're going to be gay. You can't get around that. But Shug is the love of her life. Can we please talk about that in the character#Don't mind me I'm just over here overreacting#From what I've read one of the biggest adaptational changes in the musical is her reaction to Shug's affair.#Like in the book Shug is the one light in her life. I sobbed myself to sleep over her nosedive in self-worth when they took a break#In the musical she's just...fine with it? I get why that's more satisfying emotionally but I still think it undermines their relationship#I don't get the curse thing either. I'm a little fuzzier on this part but in the book doesn't she just leave him and she's able to thrive?#Then when he asks her to get back together she's able to just know that the worst with Shug or alone is better than the best with him?#This book man. I hate that there isn't an adaptation as devoted to the Celie/Shug relationship as the book is.#Hate that the only recommendation I've seen calling it a sapphic book was from someone who thought that Celie's letters were to her lover#I remember watching this steamy adaptation of a Shakespeare play in soph Eng and seething because they only kiss once in the 1985 movie#Ig I can't expect too much from 1985 but...it was in the book! It was one of the most important parts! They don't even live together in it!#This was all to say I wast a lesbian 'Green Green Dress' a lesbian 'Home' a lesbian 'Natasha & Anatole' a lesbian Legally Blonde finale#The list goes on#I'm sure The Color Purple (2023) will be a good adaptation and movie. I will not pop blood vessels while watching it.#Maybe I should just avoid press releases and the movie will surprise me in a good way.
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I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long
#talk post#i love this blog i want to live here#I cant!!! i just cant!!! go to bed at a normal fucking time istg#but noooooo the wild grinders wiki no some stupid bullshit no one has ever cared about before#WHEN I DONT GET ENOUGH SLEEP MY MENTAL HEALTH GETS WAY WORSE!!!!! IF I DONT FIX IT WE ARE GOING TO GET TOO SILLY#(yelling at a mirror)#seriously bothers me tho that Im always worried about how intense my negative feelings have been lately#and im like “oh ill just get more sleep” and then immediately fuck it up the next night making me tired all week#making me feel SO bad in the mornings and at night and increasing my paranoia and other such thoughts#and in trying to tune it all out just forget about it again leading to me fucking it up again#this is a bit dramatic its only happened 2 weeks in a row#but that feels like a lot because thats like 10 nights where i felt like i blinked and i had to wake up and go to school#and not only deal with my shitty social skills but the results of said thing#and also try to fight the thoughts that are like “this shits pointless im not doing this” LIKE PLEASE pretend to be normal for one year#and also that one teacher i have who demands every students attention while he teaches like i already finished the work sheet shut it#like i do well in that class just let me do what i want im not being distracting like girl i have at least an 87 dw about me#PLUS most of the time im not even on my phone he just really wants me to look at the board but girl as i said I ALREADY DID WHATS ON THERE#i feel like i never get to relax but i do all the time so i dont know what i mean#i keep saying “its ok as long as i can bury all my thoughts and just keep going while filling what free time i have with things i enjoy”#but things only work for so long#i hate the passage of time#anyawy erm wrong my guitar is in my mind (stupid ass guitar riff)#walks over to my bed and trips on the way falling asleep on the floor#ramble#hit post
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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/
#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man#i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks#and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig#even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them#like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it#hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders#for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee#the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want#me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too#its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh#we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its#kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way#im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily#cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction#its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things#for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a#want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them#and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent
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#hmm if nothing else the insane lack of nuance on this webbed site is giving me a good indication of People I Should Unfollow#just btw please have political beliefs abt issues that are researched etc#but only reblogging anti israel or anti palestine posts in the midst of an unfolding human tragedy is not the move#like some people on here are going full mask off with antisemitism in particular#I’ve not seen as much Islamophobia but I can guarantee it’s there and it’s fucked#idk ive been very anxious abt all of this obviously and just always feel the need to remind ppl that the victims on both sides are human#beings who deserve to live freely and safely#and for that matter the perpetrators are humans too and we need to be VERY mindful of what humans are capable of when hatred festers#anyway I don’t have any answers abt anything but I am grieving the intense loss of life and dignity for all the people affected#all I can really think to do is a) post this so this is no longer living in my brain and I can actually go to sleep and b) ill probably#spend the next like week doggedly saying tehillim
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#the moment when you realize that you've fallen in love with someone that you shouldnt have fallen in love with... I really shouldn't have..#but.. anytime it says anything i get lightheaded.. anytime it laughs i cant feel myself.. anytime it does anything i can't help but melt#into myself because i cant stop thinking about making their tall ass lean down so i can kiss em and finally melt into what I'm pretty sure#would be pure fucking heaven... I've fallen in love... god damn it I've fallen in love.. and the thing that hurts and the thing that makes#my chest heavy is that i know that it would NEVER reciprocate... it doesn't feel the same..who fucking could? my exes fucked up my head i#think... but god damn it when I'm talking to em? i can't feel my self hatred... when it says I'm pretty or a gremlin or that I'm evil my#mind fucking soars.. i feel so warm and happy and blush goes across my cheeks and damn it i know its dumb and i know ey doesn't like me#that way but i want em too... i want em to kiss me and hold my hand and cuddle me and hold me close and i want to wake up next to em every#fucking day of my life.. but i know its impossible i know i should let it go.. i know that it lives across the fucking continent but i want#it so badly... i want to love em forever... we tell eachother that we love eachother every night but it can't be romantic.. sure ey's#aroflux and i know it has a crush on someone but it can't be me.. it would never be me.. im dorky and weird and ugly and everything i do#fucks up... it could never ever fucking love me... but damn i want it too... which is selfish yea.. its selfish and fucking horrible of me#to be venting here because i know no one will see or care.. i know it won't read this.. but damn it I've fallen in love with my best friend#and... and it doesn't love me back.. not in that way at least... it loves me platonically.. we've made amazing wonderful things together..#i love em.. i love em so fucking much... my brain keeps making imagined scenarios that fill my head.. soft ones of how we would spend our#life together.. and.. fuck please... i love em..#i love em more than anything..#but i know i need to let go but i can't.. i need to let em be happy with its crush and even though i want it to be me i know its not#I'm.... i should sleep... almost 5 am..#potatorandoms
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