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filmflowersbangtan · 5 months

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I Must Still Want You pt. 2

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: angst (so. much. angst) | smut

word count: 4k

warnings: rough sex | infidelity | explicit sex scene | I'm so sorry in advance if I make some of you angry with this one. I promise it'll get better in future chapters.

author's note: hey...I'm back. I have so much in store. I know I've said it before and then I disappeared again, but I finally left a toxic relationship that had me in a writer's rut for a very long time and I also stopped following BTS for a while. But then they all came out with their incredible solos, and V's "Layover" was so beautiful it had stirred up so many ideas. It also somehow aligns with this story so well, so I couldn't help myself. I'm really proud of this one. I put so much heart and soul into this. This is not the end of this series.

part i | part iii

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At first, Taehyung understood. The excuses as to why you couldn’t come home for the holidays, why you couldn’t come home for his birthday, why he couldn’t come visit. Art school was difficult, adjusting to California was difficult, but making friends was easy. Making friends had always been easy for you. You and your mom were on bad terms, that’s why you couldn’t come home. You had deadlines and couldn’t afford distractions, that’s why Taehyung couldn’t come visit.

Then there were the arguments after Taehyung lost all his patience with you. And then the texts and phone calls became more and more infrequent until there were none at all. Taehyung’s calls went to voicemails, his messages echoed in a chamber of emptiness.

Months passed by like this, with Taehyung only knowing you were alive through news from your mom, whose lawn he mowed and driveway he shoveled. He sat with her sometimes for coffee. He didn’t dare going into your room again after he saw that your mother transformed it, pushing an untouched treadmill in the same corner your bed used to be.

And then, about a year after the two of you unofficially broke up, you posted on Instagram. A man was kneeling before you as you wore a stunning dress Taehyung had never see you wear before. An expensive dress. There were letters hung behind the two of you in the background. Taehyung stopped breathing. The letters read:

Will you marry me?

Still not breathing, he swiped right to see another picture of your left hand—a hand he used to hold so much he could still feel the ghost of its warmth—displaying a gaudy engagement ring encrusted with a sickening number of diamonds. The camera’s flash made them glimmer in a way that made Taehyung nauseous.

Despite everything, Taehyung had been taking the unofficial breakup well. He never said anything about it to your mother although he desperately wanted to understand why you stopped talking to him or know if she knew. He didn’t rot in bed. He didn’t stop photography. While you had been gone, he discovered a newfound love of singing and his roommate Jungkook was a small-time producer and part-time DJ, and through him Taehyung had virtually unlimited access to a studio. Instead of succumbing into a debilitating depression, Taehyung worked on his very first EP. He had finished a few days before the Instagram post. He was going to send it to you. He knew you were going to love it. Maybe it would even make you speak to him.

But the post.

Taehyung dropped his phone on his bed and steadily walked to the bathroom, breathing through his nose. An ugly surge of emotion ravished him. He thought he was going to cry, but when he closed the door behind him, he stumbled to the toilet. And vomited.

Jungkook rushed in, his headphones dangling from around his neck, concern stretched across his face. “Bro, you good? It sounds like you’re dying.”

Taehyung wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist. His eyes and throat burned. Thick snot crept down his lips. He wasn’t going to cry, but seeing Jungkook standing there pummeled him. His dear friend who didn’t even know Taehyung had been going through a breakup. How was he going to explain this? He couldn’t. He dropped his head back into the toilet bowl and heaved.

Later, after Taehyung cleaned himself up and Jungkook sat him down on the couch with a cup of water, he told Jungkook everything.

Jungkook had been quiet the entire time, nodding to let Taehyung know that he was listening. But when Taehyung finished, gesturing to his phone because he couldn’t speak the words “she’s engaged,” Jungkook looked at the post himself.

A brief and subtle expression flickered across his face as he swiped. It was there and then it was gone, only noticeable in the slight tremble in the eyebrows and the momentary clench of the jaw. He looked up at Taehyung whose eyes were rimmed in red and whose hands were quivering as he dabbed at his nose with a napkin.

With a venom that Taehyung did not know his roommate possessed, Jungkook said, “That bitch.”

After grieving for a month, Taehyung pulled himself out of bed. He went to a party where Jungkook was DJing and downed shot after shot of anything anyone would hand him. He blacked out and woke up in his own bed wearing the same sweaty clothes from the night before, feeling like hell. He looked at his text messages to make sure that he didn’t say anything fucked up to anyone and noticed your contact at the top.

Of course, he reached out to you. How embarrassing. He cringed, afraid to read what he said, but all he sent was a link to his EP. Somehow, that was worse. He absolutely wanted to die.

And of course, you didn’t respond.

A year stuttered by. Sometimes when Taehyung looked in the mirror, he didn’t recognize himself. He was dirty blond now and handsome and miserable. He had slept with so many people in the last few months—girls, mostly but sometimes guys, too. He had had so many threesomes that he’d lost count. People on campus knew who he was now. He had gone from having one friend in his first year of college to becoming a name that people sighed dreamily as they said it.

Still nothing from you.

And then, one morning while nursing a hangover at the dining table in his shared apartment with Jungkook, a text from your mom. Maybe he was reading into it, but there was a tone of sadness in the wording, possibly regret. It said:

Y/N is back in town. Her grandmother died last week and the funeral is Friday. Please come if you feel comfortable. If you don’t, I understand.

There it was again. That roiling sensation inside of him. That urgent need to vomit.

The first time he had a threesome with Jungkook, he couldn’t perform. He had fumbled to the bathroom, his pants undone, and hurled into the toilet until the girl left. He had thought Jungkook would be pissed, but instead he sat on the bathroom floor with him in silence.

Now, Jungkook paused, a spoonful of cereal and milk halfway to his mouth. “I know that look,” he said. “What happened?”

Taehyung cleared his throat. “Y/N’s grandmother died.”

Jungkook wrinkled his nose. “So? Fuck her and her grandma.”

In other circumstances, Taehyung would've laughed. He couldn’t. He was too numb. “I liked her grandma when we were little. She used to make homemade blackberry jam and watch our stupid choreographies that we made up.”

Jungkook’s expression softened. He lowered the spoon. “I take that back about the grandma, but still fuck that bitch. Y/N, not the grandma.”

Now Taehyung mustered up a halfhearted chuckle that could’ve been a genuine laugh had the thought of you being in town—not in California—not robbed him of any sense of humor.

Jungkook hated seeing Taehyung like this because there was nothing he could do to help. “Don’t go to that funeral,” was all he said. It wasn’t a command. His voice was pleading. “Seeing her will only fuck you up. And what if she’s with—”

Taehyung closed his eyes as if expecting a blow. He hadn’t realized he was crying until warm teardrops slid down his face and into his mouth.

He went to the funeral. Your parents embraced him when they saw him. Individually, of course. Your dad remarried. He had stepchildren. Taehyung thought you probably hated it if you even still talked to him. The idea of someone else being frozen out of your life and not just him slightly comforted him. Slightly.

It was a beautiful day out—early summer, bright blue sky, cool breeze—but Taehyung was cold. And you hadn’t arrived yet.

“She slept in,” your mother said. “She hadn’t been feeling the best ever since she landed yesterday. She should arrive soon.”

An Uber arrived, and the back door opened. Taehyung held his breath.

You stepped out. You were so familiar yet you were a stranger. Your hair was longer, fuller. You were wearing a form-fitting black dress and red-bottomed heels. A designer bag dangled from the crook of your elbow. Large, expensive sunglasses obscured your eyes. Your lips were painted red.

The Uber departed before Taehyung realized you came alone.

You sauntered in his direction. He was breathless as he watched you move. Did you always walk like that? With such an elegant sway? Or was that new? A by-product of your reinvented life.

He realized that he was not your target. He was standing with your parents and your stepmother you probably hated. Except you didn’t hate her because she was the first you hugged. Then your dad. Then your mother. Then—

“Tae.”

He blinked. He could hear the blood rushing through his ears. Feel the bile rising in his throat. He cleared it behind a polite fist before croaking your name in return.

Then, very cautiously, you pulled him into a hug. He felt everyone’s eyes on the both of you. You were making him into a spectacle, and he hated it. In that moment, he realized he hated you. But his arms were stiff at his sides and when he became aware of that, he lifted them to pat you on the back.

“I know how much you loved her,” you said when you released him.

He blinked, not understanding. “I’m sorry, what?”

“My grandmother.”

His face felt hot. Jungkook was right. He shouldn’t have come. He had never once wanted to hurt a woman before, especially not you. But he wanted so badly to strangle you. To make you feel what it’s like to have your throat full of heartbreak. But he pushed a smile onto his red face. “Yes. My condolences.”

“Thank you for coming,” you said.

I hate you.

Taehyung nodded, and without meaning to, glimpsed at your left hand. The ring was still there. You were still engaged. But you returned home without a fiancé.

I hate you.

After the funeral, there was a gathering at your dad and stepmom’s house. Taehyung wasn’t going to go, but he couldn’t bring himself not to. He wanted to keep looking at you, breathing the same air as you, and wondering if you had listened to his EP.

But for the most part, he was just wandering around the beautiful countryside home as awkwardly as he had been at the party in middle school where he had first seen you kissing a boy on the porch. Except this time, you were getting married. You were getting fucking married.

At least at a funeral it wasn’t odd to cry. He went outside to do it.

He sat on the front porch steps and loosened his tie. No one came out to bother him. He was good at being invisible. Especially to you.

The front door behind him opened. The sound of heels approached him but stopped a few paces away.

Neither of you said anything. He quietly wiped away angry tears.

“I don’t expect forgiveness,” you said.

He wanted to scream. “Not here. Please.”

“I booked a hotel. Let’s talk at the bar there. You look like you could use a drink.”

Taehyung closed his eyes. “Was that a joke?”

“Yes. But I could use a drink, too.”

Taehyung dropped his head in his hands. “I shouldn’t have come.” He stood up and walked to his car. You didn’t follow. Didn’t beg. He grabbed the handle of the driver’s side door and looked at you from over the roof of the car. You were still standing on the porch, your hands delicately interlaced in front of you. You weren’t wearing your sunglasses, but he couldn’t see your eyes from where he stood.

Who were you?

He yanked the door open and got in the car. His phone vibrated when he started the ignition. You had sent him a text with an address and a time.

“Fuck you,” he whispered. “Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you.”

He arrived thirty minutes late. You were sipping a purple-colored cocktail at a secluded table. God, you looked so good. He hated it.

“I would’ve understood if you hadn’t showed,” you said, expressionless.

He hesitated before sitting down, considering leaving. When he did sit, you said, “I really like your hair. It complements your skin tone.”

“Fuck you,” he said.

“I deserve that.”

“Fuck you.”

“What are you drinking nowadays? It’s on me.”

The bile was threatening to choke him. He swallowed thickly. His voice trembled as he said, “What do you want from me? You don’t fucking care about me. All you care about it—I don’t know what you care about. You’re such a—”

A drink appeared before him. “I already ordered for you. I hope you don’t mind whiskey. It’s top shelf so you most likely won’t have a hangover.”

“I don’t want—”

“I listened to it.”

Taehyung stopped.

“It was beautiful. It was so fucking beautiful. When do you sing? And like that? Oh, my God.”

Now Taehyung was crying again. He downed his drink. You gestured something to the waitress and another whiskey appeared before him. Taehyung said, “Why are you doing this to me? What have I done to deserve this?”

You touched his hand. He flinched away as if burned. “I dropped out of college a couple of years ago. I was homeless. And then I met a guy who fixed all of that.”

“Such bullshit.” But Taehyung knew you were genuine. You were never a liar.

“Not bullshit,” you said gently. “I was embarrassed. Who flunks art school? But I was intimidated being surrounded by all of those freakishly talented people. I didn’t fit in. But you would’ve sure as hell did. Your photos, Tae—”

“Don’t call me that.”

“I’m sorry.” You took a sip of your drink and looked away before continuing, “You are so talented. And then that fucking album—”

“EP.”

You glared at him. “Now it is my turn to say fuck you.”

“Get to the point.”

“I wasn’t measuring up. I dropped out before I got expelled. Mom wanted me to come home, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I love California. I slept on some friends’ couches for a few months, working odd jobs—bartending, dogwalking, commission stuff. I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” “I was embarrassed, Tae. And then you kept pestering me about wanting to see me and—”

“Pestering? You think so lowly of me?” “That’s what it felt like at the time. I had so much going on in my head—”

“But not so much that you still had room to go and fuck someone else before even breaking up with me.”

You finished your drink. “I didn’t fuck anyone.”

Taehyung had no response.

“I met a guy while bartending. He was rich. And kind. And I was very poor and lonely.”

“And he swept you off your feet," he said with betrayal in his voice.

“No. But his tips were nice. They were big enough to feed me for a couple of weeks. And then he would take me out to dinners. Next thing I know he’s buying me an apartment and a car and a dog and a life.”

Taehyung’s eyes were wet with fresh tears. He couldn’t look at you. “I wanted a life with you. I could’ve helped you.”

“With what money, Taehyung? All you would’ve done was spend way too much money on a one-way ticket and be stuck there with me.”

He had nothing to say to that. He downed his drink. “That doesn’t explain not telling me a fucking thing. Not even a goodbye.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you love him?”

You sighed.

Taehyung clenched his hands into fists under the table. He repeated, “Do you love him?”

Another purple drink appeared in front of you. The waitress flitted away, sensing the tension.

Finally, you said, “I think I could learn to. Someday.”

He blew out the breath he’d been holding and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked out the window at the pool. So still, so blue. So beautiful. He thought of California. He thought of the song on his EP, “For Us.” He wanted to fucking drown you.

In a soft, broken voice, he said, “I have loved you for my entire life. My entire life. Just wasted.”

You didn’t say anything. You just simply stared out the window with him. And then for the first time that entire day, you began to sob.

He didn’t dare look at you. He didn’t want to empathize with you. What for? But hearing you cry silently, seeing your shoulders shake with each sob in his peripheral vision…

Before he could say anything, you were already cleaning yourself up, dabbing under your eyes with a neatly folded napkin. “Should we go up to my suite for some privacy? I fucking hate crying in public.”

The suite was gorgeous. He didn’t know something so extravagant existed in his hometown.

“I need to get out of this dress. It’s not really my style,” you said, delicately removing your heels.

Taehyung looked away. For some reason, seeing you do that simple action made his heart ache.

You disappeared into the bathroom after telling him to make himself comfortable. He instead opted to stand around, unsure of what to do with his hands. Then you called his name from the other room, needing help with the dress.

“The zipper,” you said. “It was hell putting this thing on by myself. Can you unzip it for me?”

The bathroom was all marble and glass. Taehyung felt like there were a dozen versions of the both of you reflected around him. You were trying to catch his eyes in the mirror, but he purposefully avoided you. He focused on keeping his hands still as he stood behind you and reached up to grasp the tiny zipper at the nape of your neck.

The sound of the dress unzipping made his dick throb as longingly as his heart. You were fucking with him. You had to be.

But he wasn’t the same Taehyung that you left behind at the airport. Not at all. He was going to show you.

The zipper ended right at the top of your tailbone. You let the dress fall to the floor.

“You said you didn’t fuck anyone?” Taehyung said, voice gruff with want. He could feel himself hardening.

You were breathing slightly faster. You wanted him, too. This time, he allowed your gaze to meet each other’s in the mirror. You said, “Just myself. I never let him touch me, Tae. I don’t love him.”

He ran his hand up your leg, up your ass, traced the line of your back with a steady finger. He was no longer nervous. Fucking was what he was good at. And he wanted to fuck you until you regretted ever leaving him. Until you rued the day you said yes to that stupid fucking engagement.

He stopped his hand at the base of your neck. You stood still, breath shallow. Waiting. Wanting. You were probably so wet for him already, but you would have to wait.

He pressed himself against you so that you could feel how hard he was for you. A moan stuttered out of your throat. He clenched your neck from behind and shoved you forward, bending you over the sink. With swift fingers, he undid his belt, lowered his pants, pushed down his briefs. His cock sprang free, swollen with a two year long need for you, beaded with precum.

You shimmied out your underwear. With two fingers, he felt the velvety skin of your pussy lips. He was right, you were so fucking wet for him. You arched your back and shivered at his touch.

Your eyes met in the mirror again. Yours were heavy-lidded with desire, lips red like Marilyn Monroe. He wanted that lipstick smeared all over your face and all over his cock when he was done with you. His own eyes were low lidded as well. He grinned at you before he entered you. He didn’t want to take it slow, and he didn’t.

He fucked you like you were water, and he hadn’t drunk anything in days. You were a mess, clawing at the marble countertop like it would give you stability. Your moans were so fucking hot. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back so that his lips were at your ear.

“You’re mine, do you hear me? This pussy is mine.”

You tried to say “Yes, daddy,” but your eyes were fluttering and rolling and Taehyung was fucking you so good you couldn’t get a word out. He slapped your ass and you gasped.

“Fuck you,” he said but he didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean it at all.

He felt himself getting carried away and pulled out. You squirmed at the lack of him, begging for more. He didn’t want to admit he almost came. Sex hadn’t felt this good in years. Both of you were breathless, filling the room with your panting. But he wasn’t done with you yet. And you knew. You smiled at him, big and beautiful, and Taehyung almost came right then and there.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he said.

Your pupils were dilated, your face was glimmering with sweat, your hair was a mess. You were so beautiful Taehyung wanted to fucking cry.

And then he was. “Fuck you,” he said, but he meant it this time.

You unclasped your bra and dropped it to the floor. Then you were on your knees before him, using that expensive dress as a cushion against the marble. You took all of him in your mouth, slowly, never losing eye contact. Your mouth was warm and wet and your breasts looked amazing, the nipples hard. You noticed him looking and pinched the nipple of your left breast as you sucked him off, using your right hand to jerk him in and out of your mouth. You were an expert with your tongue, paying close attention to the head of his cock. And then when he felt the back of your throat, he squeezed his eyes shut and grasped a handful of your hair again, this time to keep himself steady.

“Ah, fuck,” he whimpered. “Where? Where do you want me to cum?” He made the mistake of looking at you again, your mouth smeared crime-scene red.

You smiled at him like a good girl, like you didn’t have a spit stretching from your lips to his cock like party streamers. “On my face,” you said.

He didn’t hesitate.

When he finished convulsing the final streams of cum onto your pretty face, he stood there, face flushed and veins straining from his neck as reality crept back into his bones like a winter’s chill. He was disgusted with himself. He was angry with you.

“You’re fucking engaged,” he said, cleaning himself up. “Oh fuck. I’m such a fucking idiot.” He hastily threw on his clothes. Ran his hands through his hair to look somewhat presentable and not like he just face fucked someone’s fiancé.

You were extremely calm and still extremely naked. Taehyung realized belatedly that you hadn’t come yet. Good, he thought. You don’t deserve that release.

He finished dressing as you started washing your face. He went to leave but then stopped at the door. He didn’t turn to look at you, but he said, “You’re an awful person, Y/N. I hope you know that.”

Taehyung left the bathroom and was halfway to the suite’s door when he heard you say meekly as if to yourself, “I do.”

#bangtanwriters-net #btscreatorsnet #taehyung scenarios #taehyung smut #kreativewritersnet #kpop fanfic #bts angst #bts smut #bts fanfic #taehyung fic #fic #smut #bts series #taehyung au #angst #filmflowersbangtan

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just-a-lil-critter · 1 year

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Bakugo's Apology Analysis :-

(but it's actually just me crying over my dearest bois and their dynamics)

I love Izuku's blatant show of emotional vulnerability throughout the series. yeah he's a crybaby/nerd/impulsive martyr but for someone who's been relentlessly bullied for so many years he is ridiculously open about his feelings and I admire him so much for it

"I am scared for you, for everyone and what risking everything could do to me, so I will stay away even if it costs me my smile, even if it drains me of all life"

Like hello?? this boy is so exhausted, halfway to death's door and fighting off an actual army of frenemies and still, still cannot bring himself to close his heart, the worst he can think to say is "you can't keep up" and apologises for that too. he doesn't even think to push them away like he should and I *ugly sobs*

The apology *manic cackles*

Ohh the relief. the satisfaction. the completion of a circle literally years in the making.

and Izuku's reaction is just the icing on the cake. I was genuinely worried they might downplay this scene after the whole OP fiasco (Bokurano by Eve is a banger btw) but Bones did not disSAPOINT

look at them. look at Katsuki. head bowed, face-to-face in front of everyone, openly admitting to the horrible things he said, things he did to Izuku in the softest voice we've ever heard from him, running to catch him in the rain and not once asking for forgiveness, only that Izuku come home with him, with them all

"I have done terrible things to you, the kind not easily forgiven, so I do not ask. but you are dear to me and I cannot lose you, even if I am lost to you. so come with us, come back, I will hold your shaking hands and broken body in the hailing rain like a testament and save to win as you win to save"

did anyone else notice this?

when Izuku goes vigilante he's so focused on defeating All For One he completely switches from 'save to win' to 'win to save'. ofc he's doing it to protect everyone but that's not the objective anymore, it's the result.

whereas Katsuki is so fixated on bringing Izuku's overworked dumbass back he doesn't even think about AFO let alone defeating him. his defining moral also does a 180 & becomes 'save to win' instead like ASBHSDHSJDKFS DO YOU GUYS SEE WHAT I MEAN IS THE BRAIN BRAINING TO MY BKDKS??!

In summary, I have lost my leftover sanity, 3 boxes of tissues and so much comfort food y'all oh my god-

to this scene. this one moment in a(surprisingly large) list of bkdk being soulmates, platonic or otherwise ಥ_ಥ

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, have a good day/night, drink some water and fix your goddamn spine you banana shaped fucks<3<3

Also here's the link to my previous post>>

#bnha #bkdk #mha #horikoshi #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya #kacchan #ktdk #my hero academia #deku #vigilante deku #mha anime

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autisticbokutoenthusiast · 1 month

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pit babe ep 7 stray thoughts

- way made him feel undeserving of love….

- so jeff is like that cause he’s plagued by visions..

- ok now i get the peteway posts. oh ways pathetic nature and whiny bitch demeanor have captivated pete body and soul

- oh way might be my little meow meow of the show

- oh god oh fuck i might be a peteway boy

- kim needs to kiss winner to shut him up

- omg person who hurt protagonist was antagonist pikachu surprise face

- scream this is so dramatic. the scheming it’s all coming together (also peep kentakim this is for you le trash prince)

- ok so this is where we find out tony wants to sell babe for bitching

- AH CHARLIES THERE THE DRAMA

- do they know charlie’s powers also who WAIT IS THIS A NUTHPHOP BALLADnvm just sounded like ambivalent thoughts

- way seems happy i don’t trust this. is he about to break

- oh he is oh no it’s babe. oh i think someone’s gonna ugly cry it can go either way at this point. babe sweeeeep

- oh… maybe i don’t want this babe babe nooooooo nooooooo. oh he’s gonna close his heart off to other people now isn’t he oh fuck noooooooo SOMEONE STOP HIS THOUGHT LROCESS PPLEASE

- i don’t understand ways face here i need subtitles but for facial expressions

- oh poor puppy

- does anyone know if they make the music in house

- this ep might be my fav so far….

- is way an omega y’all

- there’s been a shift in babe…. i can’t explain it but something changed in the last 20 min

- babe being an easy cryer is so important to me actually

- ooo surveillance being a theme again lets goooo

- SCREAM CHARLIE BACKSTORY AND MOTIVSTION OH GOD ITS HAPOENING EVERYBODY STAY CALM STAY FUCKING CALM

- charlie trauma enthusiasts let’s gooooo

- tony is so fucking evil i hope charlie rips his face off

- how wild would it be if winner was an enigma. like he’s not but could you imagine

- actually i need kenta to rip tony’s face off

- does charlie know about his power. does anyone

- babe looking like a wet feral cat i need to lie down

- SCREAM HE JUST FLAT OUT TELLS BABE LIKE THAY?!,!?!?! like i’d be scared to get punched like ???? it’s wild he just flat out says i took your power like wow i thought he’d lie at least a little

- these flashbacks can never be happy can they… always gotta leave you horny and destroyed

- charlie being like “don’t worry i can fix this. if you want i can just kill myself” like broooooo

- scream do you think charlie woke up one day like “damn he smells fine today” skejdjfjejrjr

- “can mama not break up with papa 🥺” “ 😒😑😩 fine”

- honestly i get babe if someone took away my sensory issues id still fuck them. much more enthusiastically then before probably. i get him now liking kissing too like this makes perfect sense to me

- oh way….. oh god this pathetic man nothing can go right for him ever ima creaming

- i also get babe because charlie is so cute id fold immediately like so what you stole my super powers look at your cutie patootie self how could i stay mad

- oh here we go car sex scene- are they talking about booty holes rn is this happening on my screen… good for them

- oh way… i’m so sorry my baby boy im so sorry… honestly he’s stronger than me i would’ve been throwing shit THE BOUQUET

- ok so are the only ones with special powers jeff babe and charlie (and way ??)

- NORTHSONIC these absolute clowns. does he not understand adoption i love him. nosrthdaonic aenwwvehtjrngn l. what are these two talking about. way omega confirmation ????

- sonic get your boy on a leash his poor impulse control and lack of common sense is staggering

- kim kinda right like let him cook oh ew fuck tony for that too

well what an ep

#abe watches #pit babe the series

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half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk · 3 months

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Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 11 !!!

Let's go batcherssss 🤟💕

The Bad Batch 1x07

pew pew Hunter in the gunner seat 🔫

sibling banter while being shot at 👌 so on brand for tbb

Technically ☝

Wrecker hits his head count: 8 😰

"That is one strange looking lizard" ~ is cid becoming self aware 👀

Hunter sensing Rex..... I am totally normal about this

"It makes the kid happy" 🥺

happy dances for mantell mix 🤲

Cid talking, Hunter Tech and Echo: 😠😠😠😠 (the fourth one is me)

lmao Rex in his strider era

"That's not her ugly side" 💀💀💀

REX REX REX REX REX

CID CALLED REX A STRAY 😡

JUST THE BOYS SITTING AROUND DRINKING CHEERS AND SMILIMG OML 😭🥲😍😭

the big Wrecker and Rex hug 😭 me if I ever met a clone (fun fact I met Temuera Morrison and I'm still not over it 😭)

aww Rex bending down to meet Omega he so polite 🥺

vs Omega: HA OLD MAN 💀

Rex is so scared about the chips i hate it here

Rex has ptsd 😭 screaming crying

Wreckers nervous foot taps 🥺

BRACCA CAL KESTIS 👀

Omega: 'he's not gonna cut open my head' Wrecker: 'seems unfair'

Omega being Tech's translator

the boys trusting rex with their lives literally

Jedi fallen order music??? 🤔 a little bit???

ALL THE BOYS TOGETHER IN THEIR ARMOUR 🥲 tcw days

FIVES FIVES FIVES FIVES FIVES FIV-

Echo: "Omega." Rex: "the kid?" no Rex the other Omega

Rex teaching Omega about the venator 🥺

lmao now Wrecker's calling Rex old

Tech being aware of Hunters senses 🥺 I am just so completely normal about this whole episode I swear

aww Wrecker crawling across the beam he's literally so brave 💕

REX TELL ECHO AHSOKA IS OKAY PLEASE IM BEGGING 😭

Rex helping Omega down from the cable with "nicely done" i can picture his face under that helmet 😊

Omega cheering Wrecker on 💕

PULL HIM UP BOYS 💪even Echo was pulling one handed 🥲

Omega's hand on Wrecker's arm 🥺

Rex: "this will do nicely" Tech: ew no thanks Rex: bet lets go home Tech: "this will do nicely" 💀

again with the chip activating more each time they hear 'order 66' - Wrecker seems to get worse the more they talk about it

Omega checking on Wrecker again 😭

Omega's nervous hands againnnn 😭😭

Hunters hand on her shoulder

Rex's smile watching them together 🥺 so big brother shaped

"very few clones were immune to o66" YOU MEAN THERE WERE MORE??? WHO ELSE???

Wrecker is shaking the entire time until the chip fully activates and he's immediately still 🙃

Rex got a stun shot off as Wrecker hit it away!!!

Hunter picking up Omega and covering her head 🤲

they had that planned so well - attack from all sides

then Wrecker threw Echo by his head 💀

Hunter getting a piggy back 😂

the last thing Hunter saw before Wrecker knocked him out was Omega standing there with the blaster 🙃

"this isn't you Wrecker... I'm your friend" 🥲🔫

Omega was ready to shoot him 😫

Wrecker fought the chip so hard 🙃

Rex saving the day 💕

Rex really had no idea how to remove the chips he just hoped for the best fr

Tech: "he is alive" BRO

"I'm staying until he wakes up" ~ Omega x2

Rex looking at his helmet 😭

Hunter and Tech sleeping waiting for Wrecker

Wrecker's hand on Omega's head 🥺

"Oh. You made it" Techhhh 😂

Tech's shaved head !! his smile when he touches his head !! Echo pointing to his own head !!!

Where is Hunter's shaved head 👀

Omega's hand on Wrecker's cheek 🤲

Wrecker: "I tried as hard as I could" me: trying as hard as I can not to cry

Omega brought mantell mix 🥲

REX IS TALKING TO WHO 👀

Hunter: "the republic's gone Rex" Rex: "not all of it" SCREAMING SHOUTING BACKFLIPPING OFF MY COUCH

the arm grabs 👀

Rex walking into the fog like a dramatic Skywalker

oop scrappers 👀

ayy I have no power so I was supposed to post this earlier lmao 🙃

hehe I am a complete mess about this ep fr I apologise lolol 💕

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typicalopposite · 8 days

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S4 is done and I have s5 paused so I can write this up real quick!

Sooooooooo Michael and David 😍😍 love that for him!

And May is a dispatcher 💕 as a mom I get Athena’s worries and as a daughter, sister, wife friend… AND mother, I get Mays desire to want to help. I love all the dispatchers and I wish they were all like the ones in this show!

I knew Buck Begins was this season and I still was not prepared 💔💔 I have no words and yet so many words and I may just make another long ranty post about it some other time! But for now just a big 🖕🏼to the Buckley parents!

I LOVE that the two episodes after were just hilarious just everything about the Jinx ep😂😂😂😂 and then them being lil ol peeping Tom’s… when they came back and saw Michael in the guys apartment I DIED!

The drunk driver OMG the momma in me was losing her shit Im never ACTUALLY vocal watching shows but i was screaming at the TV through this! My dogs might think im crazy, it’s a small price! And of course bby girl Jee comes at the most insane moment! I WAS UGLY CRYING THAT WHOLE MONTAGE! Ready to fight the writers but they came through and didn’t kill Albert! 😭😭😭😭

Josh’s little Begins 😭 I love him!! And Sue! And all the dispatchers!

The treasure hunt 😂😂😂 and everyone getting in on it! 😂😂😂 I live for the funny episodes to cleanse he palate after heavy one… and before heavy ones

THE SNIPER SHOT HEARD ‘ROUND THE WORLD!

I know Eddie got shot. BUT Buck! My lil bby buddy bro Buck 💕 he really just can’t catch a break (again I know Eddie got shot but as we know, he lives… but Buck holds onto everytime someone he loves gets hurt and doesn’t let it go he is like a carry all for everyone else’s baggage even when no one asks him to be! I just *feral noises* ya know?)

Ok now on to S5!

#911 #911 show #911 abc #911 fox #911 season 4 #911 spoilers #911 firefam #118 firefam #bobby nash #athena grant #evan buckley #eddie diaz #chimney han #hen wilson #maddie buckley #i love this show #and these characters #so much #😭😭😭

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imhoser · 2 months

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My personal suggestions for lovejoy alternatives:

On my first post, I mentioned that I listened to one lovejoy song once…and did not like it. I grew up with indie music so I consider myself to be quite qualified in recommending music.

If you want real life stories paired with sorrowful guitars:

The Decemberists

What a Terrible World, What a Wonderful World - 2015. 12/17/12 always makes my ugly cry.

Florasongs (EP) - 2015

I’ll Be Your Girl - 2018

Traveling On (EP) - 2018

Burial Ground (Single) - 2024

They’re coming out with a new album soon! In Burial Ground, James Mercer from The Shins sings the back-up vocals…<3

The Shins

All of the albums are great and fit under this category. My personal favorites are:

Wincing the Night Away (2007)

Heartworms (2017). Mildenhall…mildenhall…I don’t think there’s a more beautiful song by James.

I love this album, but I want to specifically highlight No Way Down from the Port of Morrow album!! I listened to No Way Down on loop for a week a few months back. It’s chef’s kiss

Fish in a Birdcage

Once again, all of the albums are great. My favorites are:

Through the Tides (2016)

Waterfall (2020)

If you want dramatics and folk tales:

The Decemberists:

The Decemberists used to focus more on folklore and stories about people being swallowed by whales and all that jazz. My favorite albums from this era are:

The Crane Wife (2006) - I cannot begin to tell you how amazing this album is. This is one of my favorite albums of all time. Crane Wife P1, 2, &3 are eternally beautiful. After the Bombs snd Sons & Daughters always give me chills.

The King is Dead (2011) - This is the album I remember the most…this was my favorite album of theirs when I was a kid! My favorite song as a kid was June Hymn. June Hymn and the song Use It by The New Pornographers were my favorites. The New Pornographers aren’t super similar to the type of indie that Lovejoy was, TNP is power pop!

A Bit o’ Everything:

Mumford & Sons

That one song I listened to…I immediately thought it was a worse version of a Mumford & Sons song…so here’s some of my favorites of theirs.

Sigh No More (2009) - Winter Winds, Dust Bowl Dance, and After the Storm are my favorites from this album. Outside of the ones that were all over the radio (The Cave/Little Lion Man)

Babel (2012) - Holland Road…I love you <3

Bastille. I always get Mumford & Sons and Bastille mixed up for some reason, so I HAVE to mention them.

Wild Wood (2016) - Good Grief…Snakes…save me

Want to dip into Americana?

The Avett Brothers

Another band I grew up with…they’re from my home state. They’re a very nostalgic band for me.

Mignonette (2004) - I only recently started to appreciate this album a lot more! It’s very wicked. It gets spooky towards the end and I love that. It’s similar to the Hazards of Love album by the Decemberists, in that it tells a full story in the course of the album.

I and Love and You (2009) - Kick Drum Heart and Tin Man ;-; they still make me cry.

#wilbur soot #wilbur mcyt #lovejoy

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crazykuroneko · 11 days

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Rewind the Tape — IWTV S1E04 Rewatch

Finally, I'm back with my rewatch for @iwtvfanevents after having to microdosing Ep 4 because of limited time, mood, and I just fell unconscious once I hit my bed. Again, FYI from before: this is my first time rewatching the show (excluding indirect watch through YouTube reactions), and its purpose for me to refresh my mind and noticing things. So, I won't dwell on certain ongoing or past theories, but I'll take notes about the possibilities I notice as the rewatch goes for myself. Also, disclaimer, because I've had people put words into my mouth before: When I'm assuming the reason a certain character does what they do, it's not to give them an excuse. It's my way of trying to understand what the writers have in their minds. For me, if the action of a character doesn't make sense in that character's eyes, based on their personality, then it's bad writing.

Okay, that's long enough. Be careful with the S2 spoiler alerts. Time to meet ✨ Claudia✨

• It's been 10 years since Daniel published a book and his publisher seems questioning his ability to write a book.

• Armand barely gets any sunlight here.

• *Googling* Levodopa is used to reduce Parkinson's symptoms, like tremors, stiffness, and slowness, which are caused by lack of dopamine. It works by being converted to dopamine in brain.

• "Electronic mailbox" Armand, you're so funny.

• Resting? Wait, have they ever did an interview during mornings before? Ep 1, it's night. Ep 2, during dinner time to late at night. Okay, it seems Ep 3 starts in the day to night. Gonna pay attention to this more.

• The interior designer is a woman. "Louis is missing the 'natural' world" What tree is that again? I'm bad with plants.

• Claudia wrote her name and the year on her first diary. Cute. (But ofc she probably stopped doing that after Loustat read her diaries)

• They arrived in Paris November 14, 1945. A week after Lestat's birthday, fyi. There's a headcanon Armand's (it seems people got it from a wikia, which was taken from an official calendar, but no one has checked that calendar) is November 11.

• They're in Ploiesti in 1941, eating POWs.

• My caption doesn't write it, but Lestat says, "Impossible. Elle est trop jeune." (She's too young) Oh, Louis 😔

• "I just need her not to die". And Lestat probably recalled Louis crying on their bed over not able to have a child, and there they went to doom themselves and Claudia. Anything (because unlike Louis, he knows all the consequences) to keep Louis happy AND stay with him.

• The contrast between Louis' and Claudia's transformation. Lestat doesn't let her to drink much, just enough to turn her. There's no gentleness or anything when Lestat holds her. In fact, the camera stays on his rough hold, highlighting the ugliness of it. Isn't in the books being turned without consent seen akin to rape?

• "Hell demons" lol. I wonder when she got his first diary and when she arrived at that conclusion.

• "It's my new house?" "It is if you want it to be" as if she has another option. Louis, you're so funny.

• Delaying to tell Claudia that she needs to feed on humans. Telling her there's another "choice" than eating humans. Expecting Claudia to feel regret the next day after killing a human. Louis, stop putting your own feelings in her.

• "He has to relay on my words to understand me. Just like humans." "We are a family?" Monsters who have to keep a bit of humanity to get along, who are also playing house like humans.

• You could tell Lestat is already sensitive about being left out in the telepathic conversation since the beginning.

• Claudia witnessing queer relationship for the first time is so amusing lol

• Claudia says ACAB 😌

• This scene doesn't feel "smooth" to me. I don't know if it's the editing or the writing. First, that last line by the cop is too long for such a short action. Second, i think they could pick a better intonation for "not a cop" there. Plus, the placement makes it feel like they almost forgot to put it.

• Claudia needs twice amount of blood than Loustat. She's still energetic when the sleep time comes. Noted.

• "Kill juice" Lestat and Claudia are bonding over vampirism.

• "Have you seen my slippers?" "Under the chair by the window" The domesticity uwu.

• The lines about Lestat talking about Claudia's writing habit are so witty when you remember he canonly writes the Vampire Chronicles books. A platonic kiss for IWTV writers again.

• Claudia's new coffin is called The Feathered Nest. A call back to Louis saying him in Lestat's nest in Ep 2.

• Since the beginning, Claudia likes to ask and figure out things that she doesn't know, while Louis won't say anything to not rock the boat.

• "We try to accustom her to the thought of coming home to God" Oh gosh, Louis is so bad at lying 😭

• Okay, seriously. We know in Ep 2, after Louis is just turned that /at least/ his sight and hearing becomes more sensitive. And in this episode, Claudia can smell the cop's blood from afar. But this lore doesn't consistent with the stinky bodies at their home in Ep 5 and the fact Claudia can stalk Lestat many times (and ofc Claudia and Louis at Antoinette's place in Ep 6 as well). This uncontinuity gives me a headache. OR after they manage to control their senses (Lestat's saying "focus on my voice, a single strain"), their senses basically become normal and only can do more when they willing it? I'm trying to make sense of it here.

• "I miss sleeping with you." So, in good days, they sleep together in Louis' coffin. They /probably/ haven't been doing it since Antoinette thing started (I mean, I wouldn't). That's 8 months. (The sanctioned infidelity narration is on Feb 1917, Claudia started to write her diary in late Sept 1917 and she still sleeps with Louis by that time. Based on this timeline)

• "Sometimes, you gotta be careful where you dig, you understand?" Not to fast forward to S2, but this sounds so ominous.

• Louis in the night with this pink striped shirt 🥰

• "Is that what he's up to when he goes out alone?" No wonder stalking Lestat is the first thing she does after Charlie.

• Do I believe Louis' answer is true? I do, because writing-wise, I don't see there's any reason for Lestat to cheat (as in having a relationship with someone else, because I could see him still making out with humans before eating them) when they keep spending their time together except when Lestat is hunting and Louis and Claudia go out together like in this scene. Plus, unlike in Ep 6, during this era Claudia still follows the no telepathic talking rule. (See: Claudia's "I'll tell Uncle Les you talk to me this way" later) Something, I assume, makes Lestat feel alienated from the two and goes to cheat to find a connection with another on his own. But I digress.

• "Used to caught up in human affairs. Then you."

• Okay, at least Daniel waits Armand to finish his sunnah prayer before interrupting him, though Armand should continue doing his Ashr prayer soon. Anyway, i wish they used adhan that's clearer. I mean, I could only listen the beginning of each phrase, not the end.

• Claudia throwing a thing at Lestat and he barely reacted and proceed to pick it off the floor right away. For a period of time, Claudia is indeed the queen in that house. "This was given to me by a marquis..." If that's from Lestat's father, which makes that a family heirloom, and he gave that to Claudia. That means big for a Provider man like Lestat. (hashtag me and Lestat loved Claudia once propaganda) They are supposed to have 6 years of "good time".

• "When they can't (figuring out their problems), I can always get between them and make it right." Claudia is literally a band-aid. I suppose she helps them communicating because as I said in previous episodes, Loustat tend to not address the real problem, just shift to something that will make them feel better and forget it until it comes up again.

• *S2 spoiler alert* No, never think about how Claudia's interest in acting probably grew from the times Loustat bringing her to watch picture shows and Lestat acting them out in front of them. And in the end, it's what makes her fall into the trap of the troupe easier in S2. No, we're fine.

• "Know what her last words are?" I love her psychopath side, obsessing over last words after being called a devil in one.

• Oh, Grace's inflection when saying "uncle". They have heard a lot of homophobic jabber and satanic accusations from Florence over the years, no doubt.

• This is from Claudia's POV, so it's interesting how she's paying attention and remembers to write it down.

• Louis really has put down his dutiful son and brother "hat" after having a family himself.

• I think this is probably the last time Claudia admits she has a lot in common with Lestat *insert xie lian's idk whether i have to cry or laugh here*

• That scene of Claudia eating the guy is so classic horror, complete with the blood splatter on glass. Love.

• Lestat really brings her to Lovers' Lane without thinking about the effects. He probably thinks because her appetite stays big like a kid, her mind will stay like that forever.

• "I don't remember buying that outfit" Lestat bought all Claudia's outfits ofc. (I don't regard interviews as part of canon, but Sam did say that Louis chose Claudia's outfits)

• My theory: Lestat could notice when Claudia and Louis telepathically speaking if he pays attention to their expressions. I mean, he clearly has a thing for being alienated by telepathic connection (for a good reason, if they adapt that part of the book, cmiiw), so it makes sense if he just can tell.

• THE HORSE IS CALLED BELLA LOL

• She really has a crush on the first good man she meets. So adorable, if not for her monologue

• She knocks the railing every time she walks towards Loustat's room? Oh I would like to know the backstory that causes this rule/habit 👀. But if it's a rule, it's an interesting when you recall Lestat's "Child. Intervening the romance of the parents" or something like that in Ep 6.

• Waiting on balcony just like her father in Ep 1. The writers are strong with their "Evil of my evil" propaganda.

• Claudia figures out how to block people's thoughts since teenager. Louis has never had a reason to do it

• Again, Claudia is such a curious girl. She dives right in with Charlie

• Sorry, but the editing in this episode is kinda sloppy. I keep noticing things 😭

• This connection Claudia has with last words. It's been awhile but I wonder if we'll get to see it again. *S2 spoiler alert* Perhaps Madeleine says something to her before you-know-what. Or Claudia says something to Louis instead. I just love patterns yknow.

• Daniel Hart is just slaying in the background with his music.

• Vampires feel "loose" when they're aroused, which leads to become very bitey.

• That's why she goes to find out how vampirism works right away. Suddenly Lestat can't do what he did to her. She realizes she knows nothing about her current life

• That scene of Lestat and Claudia at the incinerator... Past Louis doesn't know they're burning Charlie and what exactly what Lestat says there. Imagine reading the latter in her diary.

• The transition from Lestat's whole speech about not being close to a mortal to Daniel 🤌🤌🤌

• If Daniel is true that Louis has had all of the diaries in '70s, so my guess Louis doesn't look fine at all in the flashback is right. He's "wearing hats" again.

• I wonder what Louis wanted to say. But knowing him and judging from his reaction to Daniel's brashness, it's something that sugarcoats Claudia's position in their "family"

• The way Claudia knocks the railing but then it goes weaker, she doesn't really care about the houserules or childish habits anymore

• The last scene is a nice hint/nod to you-know-what, but also I once read someone saying that what she does is the equivalent of a teenager doing self-harming when they're depressed, and I can't unsee that anymore. I think that's a spot-on.

• This is the last episode we hear "In Throes in Increasing Wonder" as a closing music btw. You know, the music that represent Loustat's love. They really say we're going downhill

Summary:

For the previous episodes, I always finished my rewatch and tried to figure out what theme of that episode. Of course it's always about Louis because this is Louis' season first and foremost. But for the theme of this episode, I think it's: Louis' first meeting with Claudia and the first time he has failed her. The first part is obvious, the second part, like I said above, Louis only finds how far Lestat's action is to Claudia after he reads her diaries later. I think, he sees that as his first failure to her; unable to stop Lestat making it worse for her. And we will see Claudia criticize this more in Ep 6.

This episodes also shows Louis' misconception about Claudia. He expects Claudia to react the same way to vampirism as he is. And we will see more of this in the later episodes (but of course the most obvious one is in Ep 7)

This episode is in Claudia's POV, but I like to call it "the closest thing to ideal life Louis has ever gotten", at least until Charlie happens. Like Lestat says in the church scene, Louis wears a lot of "hats": being the good son and good executive in charge of their fortune for his family, being the good straight man, being the good savvy businessman for his family and his own people, and later being a good vampire for Lestat. This time, he gets to take most of them, if not all, off and focus himself wholly on Claudia and Lestat, his family. He says himself, Claudia's existense silences all the noise, chaos, the crisis of his former existence. He has a daughter who has literal telepathic connection to him, someone who can know what he feels without saying anything. Someone by whom he doesn't feel being judged because he can know what she thinks. He has a husband who spends most of his time with them as a family. Who takes their daughter together to shop, Louis choosing the stuffs, Lestat paying for it. Who protects their family when they need to fulfill their daughter's needs (see: the buying coffin scene). Who also has a quality time with their daughter, even though it's mostly about killing humans. Unfortunately, it's rigged to burn, because Claudia won't be a child forever despite her body, outgrowning the very particular role Loustat need from her to maintain their play house.

Oh, I almost forgot, I wonder what the arrangement is with Louis' diet during this happy period. He doesn't do as much action as he did in previous episodes and we do see him eating animals still, but it looks like his sex life is thriving. He has control over his emotions pretty well. So, I assume he doesn't starve himself completely. At least, not as bad as he did before. Perhaps, this is one of the problems Claudia says she has "to smooth out". Though we know later she has never said directly to Louis how she actually doesn't completely agree with his diet choice from Episode 7. *S2 spoiler alert* And we know he later decides to eat human every other day to survive their European trip. My long time theory is Lestat manipulates him into drinking from him at least once a week as a solution. (and that's why he's more powerful than his book counterpart when he's not completely starving himself) 🤔

By the way, since this is the middle of the season, I'd like to say I think this is overall my least favorite episode so far. Mostly from the technical side, but I still love how they sprinkle hints of Claudia's own personality. I think my most favorite episode overall is Ep 1. I just love how their built Louis' personality in it. The performance is crazy, and the directing set the tone of the rest of the season. The directing in Ep 3 is top notch as well, especially towards the end. You really could feel the growing tension. The writing weaving all this history and race problem into Louis' personal life is genius as well.

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #rewind the tape #vampterview #iwtvfanevents #tw rape mention #tw ED mention #moi.txt

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moonxmagix · 8 months

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MCR Songs & Their Vibes PT 2

Couldn't help but do a part two of this because it's so much fun to me.

Black Parade B-sides:

Day album, I get fresh out of college vibes. Maybe dropping out and losing your mind.

Heaven Help Us - Day to Night, religious trauma, begging for forgiveness on cathedral steps, Winter into Spring

My Way Home Is Through You - Day, Spring, rebellion, edgy teenagers vibes

Kill All Your Friends - Day, growing older, growing resentment, imagine this happy ass song playing while on a murder rampage, Spring

The Mad Gear and Missile Kid EP:

Day album, Summer in Battery City. Hot nerds. Don’t ask.

FTWWW - Day, wearing cunty ass sunglasses while driving, careless, Summer

Mastas of Ravenkroft - Night, club, drugs, drinking, Summer

Black Dragon Fighting Society - Day, Summer, spilling juice on your outfit

Conventional Weapons:

Most political. Definitely a Night album but nighttime in the city. Being involved in some punk scene w/ friends.

Boy Division - Night, Summer, partying, watching some random band play

Tomorrow's Money - Night, hot punk vampire boyfriend, robbery, corruption, Summer

Ambulance - Day, being there for your friends, trying to prove yourself, Summer to Fall

Gun - Midday to Sunset, desert, fighting, covered in blood, Summer

The World is Ugly - Night, complicated love, late night drives, kissing in a dark parking lot, also a sorta break up song?, Fall but lots of reminiscing on memories from Summer

The Light Behind Your Eyes - Night, crying to yourself in bed, wanting a hug, fighting against mental health, no set season

Kiss the Ring - Sunset, Summer, protesting, celebrating death of political figure

Make Room!!! - Day to Night, New York City Chic, Fall

Surrender the Night - Night, busy emergency room, on verge of giving up, this song would be good in some kind of car chase imo, Summer

Burn Bright - Night, i imagine images of city lights, especially Vegas, driving w/ the windows down, Summer

Life On The Murder Scene:

Didn’t do the whole “Album” because I’ve done those songs already. Not much of an explanation for this one.

Bury Me in Black - Night, cannibalism, Fall but you’re burning hot in an alleyway

Desert Song - Night, very rainy, somber, sleeping on someone's couch, life flashing before eyes, Winter

#mcr shitpost #mcr #frank iero #gerard way #ray toro #mikey way #mychemicalromance #my chemical romance #mcr fanfiction #conventional weapons #black parade bsides #life on the murder scene #the mad gear and missile kid #mcr lyrics #mcr songs

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jenyifer · 7 months

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…. Is Nick okay?

Okay yes he’s over the moon at the end of the ep but I’m not sure he’s doing well. He was looking very strong during the Dan scenes. Not letting Dan get away with manipulating him. Good job. But his words were very concerning. So I want to dive into how he has dealt with the break up.

We know Nick is insecure. It’s his biggest flaw. That is the driving factor for the stalking. Nick feels like that ugly kid even in his new body. He KNOWS his obsession with Boston isn’t good for him “He doesn’t have to love me but he can’t hate me sand” “why can’t I forget Boston?” “I’m nasty too.” Nick doesn’t believe he should like Boston or Boston is capable of loving him over anyone else.

Bostons words during the break up make it worse. Questioning if Nick is even supposed to be in Boston’s life at all. How dare Nick believe he could be anything to Boston. I do believe this is a pointed attack from Boston that he comes to regret but both of these lines sliced up our boy really bad. Boston made it clear Nick is Nothing to him.

After the Halloween party and with encouragement from Sand he tries going on a date with Dan but Nick is aware Dan is just sleeping with him out of connivence. Nick reminds him of this when he says “you fullfiled my life’s goal” it’s a subtle I know you have power over me. But Nick is in his Boston Mode impersonator era after all Nick has studied him well. Nick gets himself in the mind set of it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t like Dan it’s just physical something to do. Nick should mean nothing to him. The only person who mattered to Nick was Boston and Nick has decided to keep it that way.

I was hopeful in the rooftop scene that Nick believes Bostons words of gratitude to Nick at this exact moment. After the kiss they were slightly apart Boston was still crying and Nick took the initiative to grab Boston by the neck and pull him into a hug and give his head some pets while they both cry. Nick is finally clearly seen by Boston. And he can accept that.

I don’t know if Nick will be able to heal fully. But if Boston keeps proving through his actions that Nick is the only boy in his league I think they can have a healthy relationship. Long distance will be a mine field though if that happens.

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #ofts meta #only friends meta #only friends nick #only friends Boston #ofts nick #ofts Boston #bostonnick #boston x nick #Jenny’s rambling #only friends episode 10 #ofts ep10

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nichestartrekkie0-0 · 1 month

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Another fic! La'an and Hemmer (Friend-fic ofc)

Timeline: between ep 4-5

Words: 2.1k

Summary: La’an and Hemmer get kidnapped for ransom and must work together to escape. (Again, they're buddies...work acquaintances)

TW: KIDNAP, ALMOST DEATH, mentions of trauma and suicide. Water/drowning (No one dies, but they do get close) (TEEN and UP)

Words: *Eshra’oo = a songchord that the Aenar use to remember life events. Each individual earns or is given beads at stages in their life, everyone composes a song to accompany the beads and lyrics that go with them. The dead are not buried with them, but the chords go into a temple so that they can be sung by family members after the person has died. Married couples often carry each other’s chords after their partner has passed, and their chords will be given to the temple as a set.

Singing is personal

Hemmer was minding his own business when he heard it. A humming noise, soft and melodic floating down from the pipes.

Someone was singing in the pipes?

Hemmer shrugged.

Fair enough. I guess the cadets can’t sing in the communal showers.

Then, something felt off. He recognized the voice singing, he just couldn’t believe it.

Noonien-Singh?

He scoffed, then remembered an incident a while back when the crew was turned into children. The only thing tiny Noonien-Singh did besides cry was sing. She didn’t stop singing throughout her time in Medbay.

That, of course, drove Chapel crazy, but he didn’t mind. Actually, he thought it was kind of cute despite the situation.

His eyes drifted up to look at the pipe. Despite his eyes being mostly useless, they could sense light fairly well. Pausing to listen, it dawned on him that she had no idea there was an echo.

Oh. That’s going to be an ugly surprise.

…Unless it wasn’t.

Pulling out his comm, he dialed the Security chief.

“Noonien-Singh!" He barked, trying not to smile, "I have someone in the pipes, I think they’re singing? Did you send one of your officers in there? They’re disturbing the peace! No one on my team would ever sing in there with the echo-”

“-Oh!” Lieutenant Noonien-Singh paused.

“Yes…I did. It’s one of my officers. I’ll fix that right away.”

Hemmer smiled.

“Good.” Flipping his comm shut, he chuckled a bit at the sounds of scrambling coming from the pipe.

She must have gotten a complaint about an item lost in the pipes, someone probably dropped their key card, or their wallet, or something stupid.

Huffing to himself, he continued with his day.

Unfortunately, his day ended somewhere in a bar on a seedy planet they had stopped at to give a short break to the crew. It was sorely needed. They had run into the Gorn only a bit ago, and there were still some things wonky with the system on the Enterprise.

Even more unlucky, the bar was owned by some characters who seemed to dislike Una for her aptitude for pool.

“Oh.” Hemmer leaned in, “Una. It’s rigged. I can see the magnets.”

She scoffed. “I could have told you that.”

Then, gunfire.

Hemmer had Una to the ground in less than a second, only for her to be ripped from him as she scrambled towards the door.

“La’an!” She cried, desperately making her way to the open hole in the wall. The door was blown off its hinges.

Pike, grabbed his first officer.

“What are you doing!? Wait for two seconds before we can clear the-”

Hemmer was already out the door.

Lieutenant Noonien-Singh wasn't his friend. She was alright, but she wasn’t anything like Una.

As he ran down the steps he saw her slung over the shoulders of some rugged street lord. With a quick extension of his abilities, Hemmer could see the man’s intentions. A bounty, of course. He needed some members of Starfleet alive to sell them back to the Federation– a simple hostage situation for easy money.

“Hey!” He called, “If you want more money, you might as well take me too!”

The man turned, eyeing the Starfleet uniform suspiciously.

“What the-”

“That’s my ward.” Hemmer lied, “Aenar are very protective of our charges– as you know– so if I could substitute for her, I’d be happy to-”

A gun was placed on his forehead.

“Stop. Talking.”

Hemmer raised his hands expecting handcuffs.

He didn’t expect the blow to the head.

…

“Finally.” Noonien-Singh sighed, “You’re up.”

Hemmer groaned and instinctively reached for something he knew wasn’t there. Or, well, someone, but that’s beside the point.

Someone descended the stairs to whatever hellhole they were locked in.

“Alright.” The man drawled, “Who’s going home first? Starfleet paid one of your ransoms.”

Noonien-Singh and Hemmer nodded and spoke in tandem.

“Her.” He snapped.

She sighed, “Him.”

They both froze, looking at each other.

“Her.” Hemmer growled, “She’s younger and has a medical condition for stress. Let. Her. Go.”

The well-dressed man shrugged, “Whatever you say.”

As Noonien-Singh protested, he picked her up. She started to grow frantic, just like she had been when she was transformed into a child.

“Wait!” She cried, “Wait- I-”

“Don’t look back!” Hemmer called, “It’s ok.”

Whatever those three words meant- it unlocked something deep in her mind. Something even Hemmer, with all his psychic abilities, couldn’t understand.

“Wait, no!” She screamed, thrashing in the man’s grip, “No!”

He threw her back onto the ground, “Fine!” Looking at Hemmer, he spat, “What about it, pops?”

Hemmer looked at the shivering woman on the floor next to him. Like fuck he was leaving her behind.

“Oh,” he sighed humorously, “if you pick me up I’ll bite you.”

The man’s face twisted in disgust. “Whatever. Guess I’ll have to figure out something-”

He stormed up the steps and slammed the door, thrusting the room into darkness. Not that darkness bothered Hemmer. He could see in the dark, underwater, and up to a 1000-foot radius.

Hemmer turned to his crewmate.

“What was that?” He asked, schooching towards her. His wrists and ankles were bound, but not for long. He had been in much worse situations.

Noonien-Singh just lay there, breathing heavily.

Hemmer took a single peek into her mind. Incredibly invasive, rude, and a large taboo, but he wanted to make sure she wasn’t brain-dead.

Images of blood and horror surged through his mind, with the backdrop of burning skies and a starship on fire.

He paused, stopping his attempts to reach her momentarily.

“Holy shit.”

Noonien-Singh laughed a dark and terrible sound. “Nothing ‘holy’ about it.” She spat, curling herself into a more compressed position.

He continued to move towards her.

“What was that?” He asked again, “You could have easily gone with him.”

“I couldn't…leave you. I won’t.”

“Why? You most definitely can-”

The door creaked open.

“Good news ladies. Today’s your lucky day.” The man trod down the steps, a jovial expression that could raise the wraiths of hell plastered across his face.

In short, he looked fucking diabolical. Whatever he was excited about, Hemmer knew in his gut it wasn't ‘lucky’ at all.

…

Hemmer sneered, looking down at the dock. “Seriously? Making us walk the plank?”

Noonien-Singh– tied to him and hating every second of it– snapped, “Would you shut up?”

Their captor smiled. “Ah, I have my money, I don’t need you two. You really should have taken his offer, little missy-”

He reached out a finger only for her to bite the air around it.

“Oh!” He snorted, “Feisty!”

“Watch yourself, sir.” Hemmer warned, “I may be tied up, but I can and will use lethal force if you make it necessary.”

Noonien-Singh looked up at him. “What part of ‘we’re going to be dropped into the ocean’ are you not getting?”

He internally cursed and broadcast his thoughts to her.

Relax. I have a plan.

She sighed in relief. Oh. Amazing. What is it?

Hemmer winced.

…I have half of a plan.

She groaned, “Jesus Christ.”

“Would you like to be the plan maker here?” He hissed, “Do you have half of a plan?”

“I can’t believe I’m going to die…like this.” She chuckled, “This is so-”

“Don’t. You’re not going to die.”

“You sound awfully sure of that.”

“Yeah, well, that’s my half of the plan.” He snorted.

The weights. They move.

Her face twisted in confusion. Yeah, so?

He grunted, shifting her slightly. I can move your weights to my side, therefore making me sink, and if you can take your binds off, then you can float up.

What about you?

Looking down at the water, he shrugged, “It’s not a bad way to go.”

Her jaw dropping, she turned to look at him. “No. Absolutely not. We’re getting out of this together or not at all.”

“What is it with humans and pack bonding?” He sighed, pressing his head against the last wooden pole before the end of the pier.

Wait.

He nudged her.

The pole.

She looked up at him in confusion, with a hint of disappointment in her eyes. What?

The pole! The new installments are all concrete. Wood poles often had metal in them-

The point? Quickly.

Hemmer sighed. A- Our bonds are rope. B- if there’s a metal hook we can catch the weights on-

“-Then we could stall the sinking long enough to get out.”

“Exactly.”

They didn’t get any more time to discuss as they were roughly pushed into the water.

Hemmer expected the cold shock, what he didn’t expect was for Noonien-Singh to get over it faster than him.

The plan of catching the ropes on a hook failed miserably. As it does when both participants can’t breathe and are entangled together.

As they hit the seafloor, Singh managed to shift the weights around so they were crushing her. She pushed him upwards.

Go!

Her mind screamed the word at him. He kind of wanted to spite her and drown.

That doesn’t fix anything.

Growling in anger, he rose to the surface, took one gulp of air, and dived back down.

She was already unconscious when he made it to her. Frantically, he ripped the weights off, then managed to pull her through the ropes.

He couldn’t go back to the docks, obviously, so he dragged her out to a cove along the shore. It was mostly rock, but it was covered and protected.

CPR mostly revived her, but she was slipping. He had to do something.

“Humans and suicidal pack bonding bullshit!” He groaned, pressing his forehead to hers.

…

He was somewhere else. Not on the burning starship, and not in the death fields, but in…

A raft?

Before he could ask what was going on, he was hit with it all. Every single second of fear, agony, pain, humiliation- all of it. Every bloody moment.

Before he could come up for air, La’an pulled them out.

Hemmer gasped, turning around and immediately throwing up what little he had in his stomach.

The things he had seen in the last few seconds– which felt like years– were too much. Too much for anybody, much less an eight-year-old.

Rinsing his mouth with salt water, he rasped, “You protect people because you couldn’t protect him. Your brother- or yourself.” He scoffed, “That’s why you tried to save me.”

On the nearby rocks, with her legs pulled up to her chest, La’an sat, waiting. Probably kicking herself for falling into the same bad habit of taking the bullet.

“Stop looking at me like that.” She snapped, “I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity.” Hemmer sighed, “It’s understanding. I couldn’t save my wife either.”

Her face widened in surprise as she looked up from the ground.

“… now you’re the one who's looking at me with pity.” He sneered, “I’m fine.”

“Oh?” She stood, “My trauma happened years ago. It hasn’t been that long for you.”

“I’m an adult.”

“And? So am I.”

“La’an.” He sighed, “We need to get back to the ship.”

“How do you propose we do that?”

He groaned. “I…happen to be a good swimmer. I can carry you back. I carried you here after all.”

She smiled a bit.

“...You called me La’an. Don’t the Aenar guard their first names?”

“Yes, and you are not an Aenar. Also, I saw a lot of horrific things in the past two minutes. I think I get a pass.”

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes.

“You get a tentative pass.”

…

One week later:

Hemmer threw his hands in the air, cursing.

“La’an! Jesus-”

“You’re the one who can’t bluff.” She snickered, grabbing the rest of his chips. “Go cry to Una.”

“I will not snitch to Una if you give me back five chips.”

Her eyebrow raised. “Only five?”

“And I'll throw in keeping your singing habit a secret- for free.”

Her face dropped. “How did you-”

“I can hear you in the pipes, La’an. You have a nice voice-”

“What?” She snorted, “Like you sing?”

His hand instinctively reached for his wrist. “I do, actually. It’s…”

He smiled, rubbing one of the beads on his wife’s Eshra’oo*.

“...It’s an Aenar thing.”

#star trek #star trek headcanon #star trek strange new worlds #star trek snw #aenar #star trek andorian #una chin riley #lieutenant hemmer #la'an noonien singh #my fic

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