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veryace-ficrecs · 1 year

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IT fix-it fanfic recs

as someone who reads a lot of fanfiction for media I have never seen, this is one of the juciest. (￣﹃￣)

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

Richie Tozier’s Guide to Childhood Crushes, Poor Coping Mechanisms, and Bitch-Ass Clowns by soisserieux - Rated M

“Richie said it the b-b-best when we were here last,” Bill says.

Richie blinks. The house. The Neibolt house. It’s standing again. Right there. In front of him. And Bill… Bill said that already. He said that… yesterday. Before—

“Oh fuck. Oh no no no. No, there is no fucking way I’m doing this shit again. No no no no no. Fuck.”

caught up in circles by sloppybxtch - Rated T

He wondered what would happen if he just sat Bill down and made him listen. If he did what he did best and talked.

If he said: Hey Bill, I’m in a bit of a pickle because I’m actually from the future and I love Eddie so much it kills me, I love Eddie so much it hurts, I love Eddie so much that half the time I wanna puke and the other half I wanna cry but all the time I love him. In a big, dumb, gay sort of way, and I never stop. But I just saw Eddie die a thousand times and a Turtle from outer space (I think) sent me here to fix it and I need your help and I don’t know what to— “Richie? Eh-earth to Richie?” Bill had stopped walking, and was looking at him funny.

“Hearing you loud and clear, ground control,” said Richie without meaning to, again on autopilot. He couldn’t help himself. He never learned how. “I’ve just disengaged hyper-speed and I’ve got a beautiful view of Uranus.”

Bill looked at him for a moment, and then shook his head. Richie didn’t get a laugh, but he came close.

Or: Richie seeks cosmic help to save Eddie's life, and gets sent on a time-warp grand tour of his past in order to change his present

the word's been passed (this is our last chance) by quarterdeck - Rated E

“Uh, Spaghetti?” Richie waves a hand in front of his face, looking worried now. “Hello? Do you want to let me know whatever it was that was so important you had to drag me awake for it or -”

“I have a turtle in my pocket that speaks to me in my head and is possessed by Bruce Springsteen,” Eddie blurts out. “Also I think it may be God.”

Richie stares blankly at him.

“What,” he asks flatly, “the fuck.”

“Or a god, at least, I don’t know,” Eddie continues, “Either way, I think it was the one who brought me back to life, so. You know. The chances are very good.”

It's been forty years. Eddie Kaspbrak is just trying to make it out of the river.

Despite Your Destination by starclipped - Rated T

Eddie's smile is sweet, tinged with something bitter. Before Richie can frown, Eddie turns the other way and sighs.

"Richie to the rescue, huh." The way Eddie says it makes Richie wonder if he remembers how he brought him back to consciousness. If he does he's being oddly cavalier about it. Maybe it simply doesn't matter. Now that's a thought that makes his heart twinge. "Well, maybe it's my turn."

"Sure, Eds," Richie cautiously replies, not quite certain what they're talking about anymore. "Maybe it is."

[Or: Thirteen year old Eddie Kaspbrak gets caught in the Deadlights. Twenty-seven years later, forty year old Richie Tozier does too.]

As a Secret Loves by HauntedHotel - Rated G

It's Christmas Eve and Bev and Eddie can't sleep after having bad dreams - what better time to gossip about Eddie's feelings for Richie than the middle of the night when no one else is awake to overhear them...

“Y’okay Eddie?” she says, spread out across one side of Ben’s horseshoe-shaped sectional couch, her legs out in front of her and a rainbow of nail polish bottles on the coffee table. Eddie heads around the side of the couch and sits down by her feet; each toenail is painted a different bright, clashing color.

“I’m good,” he says, and then rolls his eyes at himself. “I mean, I’m not, obviously, because I’m awake at—” Eddie glances up at Ben’s weird, spiky metal clock hanging on the wall to his left, “— three in the morning.” He sighs, and scrubs a hand through his hair anxiously. “I had a bad dream. What about you? I’m assuming this isn’t just your standard nail painting time.”

“Same hat,” she says quietly, a slightly bitter twist to her smile. “I can go for a week without any nightmares at all and then all of a sudden – bam! – every shitty thing I saw in the deadlights all cut together in one greatest hits collection from hell.”

single and ready to jingle by sleep_deprived - Rated T

“Hey, Eds. I’m single. You down to jingle?” Eddie knew he was joking. For the love of fuck, of course Eddie knew he was joking, but he was incredibly buzzed and so in love with his best friend that this time he couldn’t stop himself.

“I got a divorce.” Mike choked on the eggnog he had been drinking and the room grew scarily quiet as all eyes fell on Eddie. The smile on Richie’s face disappeared as he stared at him in disbelief.

“You what?”

[Or: Eddie says too much and has two life-altering conversations in Bill Denbrough's bathroom]

Go on, it'll be late soon by Mere_Mortifer - Rated T

And Richie’s in love, in love, in love, now that it’s all about to end more than ever. He spends the next three days thinking how easy it would have been to lean down and kiss Eddie’s bloodied mouth – because, to be fair, that doesn’t sound any worse a promise than slicing your hand on a broken bottle to swear that if, when, needed he’ll be back to do it all over again.

Or: five times Richie almost kisses Eddie and one time Eddie takes matters into his own hands.

same souls, both sides of the banks by trashedmouthtozier - Not Rated

He remembered growing up with five-foot-nothing, anxious Eddie Kaspbrak as his best friend; his partner in crime. He remembered the hideout, the broken arm, he remembered Eddie’s slowly gained confidence. He remembered the confusion bubbling in his chest watching all of this happen. He remembered it all — that’s why he was there, wasn’t it?

[alt. title: eddie lives and richie takes him to the kissing bridge]

the light that makes my darkness disappear by ShowMeAHero - Rated E

“‘I’m not doing shrooms with you in an airport bathroom, Richie,’” Richie echoes, in a fairly good impression of Eddie’s voice. “‘I’m not getting drunk in an airport bar, Richie,’ ‘Why the fuck did you drive here so early with me, Richie—’”

“Those are all valid,” Eddie snaps. He looks at the board again. Their flights are leaving within half an hour of each other, now. After a beat, he sighs. The thought of anything that might make it marginally more bearable to get on his airplane back to his miserable fucking life in New York is tempting. “Is there actually a bar here?”

the sidewalk angels echo hallelujah by ShowMeAHero - Rated E

Richie’s not sure what he expects when Eddie calls on the night of December 24th, but it’s certainly not for Eddie to immediately demand, “What are you doing for Christmas tomorrow?”

“Uh, hi,” Richie says pointedly.

“Dickhead,” Eddie replies.

Work Friends & Emergency Contacts by naminejamie - Rated G

Damon Peters worked hard to make Eddie Kaspbrak his best friend, and he doesn't intend to let the return of his childhood memories wipe him out. He also doesn't intend to let their coworkers talk shit behind Eddie's back while he's out recovering- it isn't Eddie's fault that he doesn't want to let any of them know him.

Richie Tozier Breaks the Internet (Multiple Times) by Grey_eyed_Birdie - Rated T

The events of IT Chapter Two and later as told by a group of Richie's confused theorizing fans.

Together Alreddie by NeedsCaffeineRightNow - Rated T

When Mike calls them 27 years later, he's surprised to find that Richie and Eddie already remember each other.

all i ever wanted is here by butiamhome - Rated G

“So obviously Derry was fucking batshit,” Eddie says.

Richie hums in an affirmative tone, determined to keep his mouth shut.

The rest all comes out to the signature rapid-fire Kaspbrak beat.

“I’m not good at talking about shit but I talked to Stan and he said a therapist was probably a good idea so I got one and I figured some things out and you wouldn’t talk to me and you didn’t answer your fucking phone, but you said – you said I could come visit anytime, before we all went home, and if you didn’t mean it you’re a real fucking asshole, because I’m here now and I didn’t really have anywhere else to go or stay because I’m, because,” He sighs and drags his left hand down his face, conscious of his scar, and Richie clocks something before his brain catches up, “Because I got divorced. Also, I’m gay.”

(Or: Eddie shows up on Richie's doorstep. You know the drill.)

#veryace recs #it 2017 #it movie #reddie #reddie fic recs #fanfic recs #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #it movie fic recs

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pacifymebby · 11 months

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Yooooo I just had this crazy dream of the modern peaky blinders with euphoria characters lmao I won't say what all happened because I have a shit memory and my mind is a weird junkyard filling my dreams with crazy nonsense but this one actually kind of makes sense

but I was talking to Maddie then MICHAEL GRAY walks over and they kiss, I was freaking out for a second but then it just made sense, because they both love money and power, Maddie values money more but it takes power to be able to do nothing and Michael also loves money but values power more but power means to have enough money to do what you want, they're similar also not cause one doesn't want anything life threatening to happen to anyone else and the other is literally a gangster so they just balance each other out

so I would give them this to describe them⬇️

☯️yin yang☯️

and now I can't stop thinking about what characters work well with other characters,

like Cassie's mom and John would FOR SURE work well with each other both of their inappropriate humor and drinking problems would definitely draw each other together but have enough differences between the two to where they don't even consider anything else than a drinking buddy, but they also know what it's like raising kids on their own for a while but also know of the others parenting style, they ignore this fact halfway through the night and watch million dollar match maker together so it only makes sense they're ⬇️

✨alcoholic besties✨

Rue's mom and aunt Polly would clash over their legal/illegal views on the world but would definitely agree on most things cause y'know taking care of out of control children all on their own and they both have common sense so obviously they're ⬇️

💥frenemies💥

(or at the very least have an understanding)

Tommy would definitely see something familiar in rue, cause y'know they both used/use drugs and relationships as a way of coping with serious issues in their life and tend to make decisions that put them in really dangerous situations and the complete disregard for their safety and actually caring about their family but ultimately make decisions that hurt them but still makes things work out in the end somehow, and rue would straight up just think he's creepy as fuck and stays far away as much as possible so I would give them ⬇️

🌛cautionary tale/dumb kid🌜

Jules dad and aberama gold, Jules dad through out the show is supportive of Jules and most likely approved of Jules getting hormone therapy and regular therapy supporting Jules in who she is and who she wants to be as well as regularly going out to eat and talking and we later see that he always checks up on Jules when he thinks something so seriously wrong like when Jules runs upstairs when her mom comes back and she waits for her dad upstairs or when he runs after Jules when she runs away but she doesn't talk to him because she doesn't trust him it's because of outside forces not him and her dad actually makes Jules get professional help not because he thinks there's something wrong with her but because she genuinely needs help and he understands why she won't talk to him but also understands she needs to talk to someone, aberama goes to the scariest mf in Birmingham because he can potentially help Bonnie on his boxing dream, Abe tests tommy to see if tommy would even help Bonnie and his dream, he does this by trying to buy to buy Charlie's yard, to see if tommy would do it but he only does this for bonnie because we find out Bonnie's tired of traveling(at least it's hinted) but after Bonnie's death we find out abe buys at least a miles worth of land with over thirty years worth of money and was already planning mansion (20 bedrooms specifically) with their own gym for Bonnie and stables to breed horses, all for Bonnie and his dreams

which makes both David and aberama ⬇️

🧑‍🍼supportive and understanding dad's🧑‍🍼

There's so much more I could do but I'm just gonna stop now

toodles 🤙💜

(ps I'm sorry if this looks weird I did this on my shitty phone because my dumb ass broke my computer anyways love you and your writing and hopefully your dreams aren't as weird as mine because I left out some weird ass details that I will take to my grave, as always you're amazing 😚💋)

Oh wow thats so cool, a crazy dream for reallll and so detailed?! I wish i was having dreams like that. But omg i love how your mind works cause I haven't actually seen much of euphoria (is it good i keep thinking i should try and watch it and just never getting round to it haha) but I think i understand what you mean about these characters. I love what u said about money/power between Michael and Maddie and how they can want the same things but in different ways.

Also everything you said about John is so right, i sometimes forget that theres this more serious side to him because hes always so laidback and playful but youre right, he really does know the struggle of raising kids alone but also i dont know, has a specific way (maybe not the best) thats like lighthearted way of making the best of a situation and just going with thw flow. I love the idea of him bonding with a single mum like that and becoming alcoholic besties haha (might write a modern au imagine based on this whole idea tbh)

And omg the stuff you said about Aberama is so true, i hadnt even thought about it that deeply in terms of him testing tommy and having all those plans for Bonnies future (and honestly it broke my heart a bit and i now have to live in a world where bonnie isnt dead and he's training in his own private gym in the Gold mansion) but Aberama really is just such a devoted father who wants the best for his son <3 <3 <3

Bestie ur so clever for all of this i love this message haha ❤️❤️❤️

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tohruhondaismydaughter · 3 years

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Just had some headcanons about Machi pop into my head that I wanted to share with yall. So we know this poor girl struggles with "perfect"/neat things right? Well I was thinking about some healthy coping mechanisms she could develop to replace the whole 'breaking property/living in a dump' thing & here's what I got so far -

1. She always tries to wear odd socks (unless she's invited somewhere nice)

2. Ayame & Mine help her find cool asymmetrical stuff to wear, how to make clashing colours/patterns work for her & teach her how to sew up her old clothes in a more "punk rock" way (after Yuki & Kakeru explain some of her issues with perfection)

3. Tohru gently points out that she dosn't have to tie her laces the same way on both shoes if she dosn't want to

4. Haru & Rin (awkwardly on her part) teach her the power of acessorising (ie. wearing only one earing, putting on an uneven amount of bracelets/rings/necklaces, adding paper clips of different sizes & colours to your clothing & Machi later ends up adding stuff like buttons to her outfits/belongings as well which Haru & Rin are tottally surppotive of despite thier difference in style) & hair/makeup which (thanks to Yuki's advice) they make sure to keep slightly messy (Kimi laughed at it at first until Momiji made her feel bad after he told her that Machi had gone to the bathroon & wiped off all the make up & undid the hair style so Kimi bought her some limited edition Mogeta merch, after asking for Yuki's advice, in apolgey & started referring to Machi's new hair/makeup style as "punk chic" whenever anyone tried to mock Machi about her new look)

5. her & Momiji go on a crazy tie dying adventure (much to Hatori's grumbling & Mayu's amusement)

6. Kormaki gets her into collecting second hand fridge magnets which she then later uses in her work (my version of post-serise Machi is an artist) once the magnetism finally wears off

7. Kagura teaches her how to fix up old plushies (Machi likes creating Mogeta inspired characters) & gives Machi all her old cat ones to work on (Machi descides not to ask why Yuki's cousin was seemingly once obssesd with orange cats because she looks rather embrassed & a little sad when she hands over her collection)

8. Kyo reluctantly teaches her how to cook a few simple dishes (Tohru comes over as well & Yuki insists her food is better but Machi prefers Kyo's simple style of presentation so it's eventually descided that Kyo & her will do the cooking & Tohru & Yuki will deal with the cleaning which Yuki agrees to becuse cleaning is still difficult for Machi but Kyo says it's actually because no matter how much Tohru tried to train him rat boy knows he would never be able to do anything in the kitchen but burn water)

9. Kakeru teaches her the skills of 'excessive badge & sticker decorating' as well as giving eachother fake tattoos (Kisa congratulates Hiro on not saying anything rude to Yuki's girlfriend about her appreance after they first meet her)

10. Cuts her hair short (she delibretly makes it very choppy) once she enters university, where the rules are less strict about your apprence (at least it is if your at art college), & she also regulary wears diffrent coloured wigs (her favourites being a dark red one & a rainbow one) whenever she wants to temporarily change her appearance (beacuse she didn't want to commit to just one look, still wanted to have the ability to quickly "become invisable" again & she heard from Kimi that exsseive hair die-ing could permantly destroy her hair & scalp) it takes her until she's 30 to try out shaving all her hair off (she worried she'd look sick/crazy or not feminine enough) & everyone's really surppotive (though Kimi dose cry a bit, Rin & Haru aren't there when her hair is being shaved & Kyo is a slightly confused as he'd always thought women liked having longer hair then guys) especially Ritsu (who's growing out thier hair again) & they all throw her a big party (Haru & Rin are there for the party bit just not the hair removal bit because it brought up some bad memories) where Kakeru films it & posts it (with Machi's permission) & they give her cut off hair to a charity chosen by all thier followers (despite her disbelief Machi has manged to gain a small group of loyal fans from all her art stuff & her apprences on her loved ones social media), Kakeru also later uploads a video where they help Machi rainbow dye her buzz cut, (she later explores many diffrent types of buzz cut patterns such as flowers & geometric shapes but, at Kimi's insistence, gets them done by a professional)

11. She recycles & D.Y.I's like crazy (Momiji started singing Do Re Mi from The Sound Of Music after she told him that her new dress was actually made from curtains & Yuki cried when she gave him a little rat plushie made from felt, after he came clean to her about the curse)

12. She almost never wears an apron while working on her art because she likes getting messy

13. When her & Yuki go out to eat she loves things like fondoe (both the chocolate & cheese kind), eat N mess & is genreually just a fan of finger food & it becomes a tradition between her & Yuki (& later Mutsuki) to go on a stroll through the park after thier meal & (if it's autumn) look for piles of leaves to jump in (Machi & Yuki also like playing a game where they try to look for the weirdest looking leaf to give eachother & whoever wins gets to pick what they'll eat for dinner that evening & the looser has to cook it, Mutsuki is the "impartial" judge)

14. Machi is amazing at scrapbooking & collarge making (Tohru is more of a dream journal kind of girl)

15. When it's Summer her, Yuki & Mutsuki go down to the beach to see who can find the weirdest looking rocks (the less impressive ones often get used in Machi's art work, the coolest ones Mutsuki gets to keep & any that are too perfect get tossed back in the ocean & Mutsuki likes to score the splashes they make on how big/loud they are)

16. She loves helping Yuki out with gardening for lots of reasons (it's therapeutic & she loves seeing Yuki happy) but she can't deny it's also just fun getting muddy

17. Machi, thanks to Kakeru, devolpes a love of paint ball (but instead of using guns they just throw the paint at eachother like in 10 Things I Hate About You because apparently the gun pellets actually hurt) & will bring it up as an activity idea to her loved ones any chanse she gets

18. Decorates as much of her flat (& later her home with Yuki & Mutsuki) with Mogeta merchandise, random things she collects & her own art work as a big fuck you to her bitch "you have 0 personality/hobbies or talents" of a mother

19. Kisa (happily) & Hiro (reluctantly) introduce Machi to the magic of glitter

20. Machi & Rin eventually become proper friends due to bonding over being abounded by their asshole parents & one of the things they like to do together is work on thier seprete art peices while listening to music (Machi dosn't do any of her "aggressive" art, like plate smashing, around Rin though thanks to Yuki & Haru warnings)

21. When stuff gets to be too much & none of thier other coping strategies are working (like watching Mogeta stoned- which Kisa, Tohru & Momiji do not partake in) Machi & Haru bond by going to rage rooms together to destroy shit & scream (Haru obviously dosn't want Rin around for any of that though so Momiji, Tohru, Kagura or Hana will often take the opportunity to hang out with her, one time Yuki offered & it wasn't bad but it was definitely awkward as they had never really hung out without Haru before & Haru teases her for ages afterwards about her ending up liking Yuki once she actually spent some time with him which, like the precious tsundere she is, Rin will forever deny)

22. (I actually made a whole seprete post about this ages ago but now it seems to have vanished so in case other Machi fans are unable to find it l'll add it here) on the days that it's supposed to snow but dosn't Yuki takes her (& later Mutsuki) skating so she can enjoy scratching up the perfectly smooth ice (they would have gone on double dates with Tohru & Kyo if Tohru wasn't freaked out at the idea of having blades on her shoes & Kyo hadn't claimed to "not trust" ice, he's dislike comes from all the times Kagura had forced him to ice skate with her on the lake near Kazuma's place in the winter when they were kids, so they would instead go with Haru & Momiji - they had thought about going with Haru x Rin & Kakeru x Kormaki once but he proudly revealed that he'd been banned from thier local ice rink years ago for trying "perfectly safe" Olympic level stunts in he's attempt to recreate one of he's favriote episodes of Power Rangers, much to he's fiancee's anger, & Machi reminded Yuki that though Haru & Kakeru were fine with eachother Rin isn't reall able to stand Kakeru for longer than 5 minuites)

#fruits basket #headcanons #machi #machi kuragi #machi headcanons #machi kuragi headcanons #fruits basket headcanons

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blushing-titan · 3 years

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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about chapter 138 again, and I came to a few conclusions. First and foremost, I’m surprised at the amount of Mikasa’s fans who are happy about the possibility of the cabin vision being an actual AU. Mikasa has been one of my favorite characters pretty much since the beginning, but I feel like - if the AU is real - it’s a huge step back for her progress and general well-being. Let me explain my point below - warning, it’s pretty long! I’ll be using manga panels (I obviously don’t own them, all credits go to the author!), and there will be spoilers.

My perspective on Eremika

I’m a firm believer that Eren and Mikasa’s relationship is a bit too unhealthy for Mikasa, at least in it’s current state - to me, it’s clear as a day that it’s way too unbalanced. Mikasa just invests more in it - it’s been shown countless times, both in the manga and anime, that Eren’s safety and well-being is her top priority. He’s on her mind most of the times and she constantly wants to be near him - she thinks of him as her safe place and home.

But what about Eren? He’s often irritated and suffocated by her overprotectiveness. He’s quite a proud person who doesn’t want to be constantly saved - despite generally needing it sometimes. In my eyes, it’s another imbalance - Eren wants to be the strong one, but since Mikasa is just naturally better at that, he constantly feels belittled, like it’s a form of rivalry.

On top of that, throught the entire series Eren has his own set of dreams and goals that doesn’t necessarily always revolve around Mikasa - all while Mikasa makes up her plans and goals solely around Eren. She even admits that all she wants is just to be at his side.

What concerns me too, however, is that Mikasa often puts Eren’s safety and well-being over her own - and it’s something that she realizes.

Sometimes, Mikasa’s friends act as a voice of reason, but when someone tries to raise any objections or concerns against Eren, she usually backs him up or tries to rationalize his actions. In the example below, Jean is concerned about the scar that Mikasa got after she got attacked by Eren (right after Eren lost control over his titan in chapter 12).

On top of that, Mikasa can be very passive, and even uncritical when it comes to Eren’s more questionable actions. There are times in which the latter can get a bit too blunt, or even straight up mean, but Mikasa either protects him, tries to justify his actions or is literally immobilized by them - like in the scene in which Eren insults her and proceeds to fight Armin, who’s been trying to back her up. Notice how Mikasa is unable to stop Eren from continuously attacking Armin (when, a reminder, the latter one stood up for her), but immediately jumps in to stop Armin from attacking Eren. You can clearly see that even she is shocked by her reaction.

We can also see her being in denial about Eren’s hurtful actions later on. She doesn’t even want to talk about it when Jean brings it up:

She’s also still concerned and worried about Eren a few chapters later, after he had done and stated that he’s about to do terrible things - even at times when her other friends were endangered. This time, it’s Armin who tries to act as a voice of reason.

Now, before we get ahead of ourselves:

Do I think that Eren doesn’t care about Mikasa, or even hate her (as he said)? No - she’s obviously extremely important to him and he was definitely lying during the table scene. Personally, I’ve never seen him having any romantic feelings towards her, but that doesn’t mean anything - love doesn’t always have to be romantic and I 100% believe that she’s still someone who he holds very dear to his heart. There are many moments that show that he’s also very protective of her, and that - along with Armin - she’s one of the most important people in his life.

But my point still stands - aside from that, the relationship is just too unbalanced to be considered healthy, especially for Mikasa. Both Eren and Mikasa see it in different light, which often cause them to collide. I just can’t help but feel like Mikasa sacrifices too much for it, too - she often ends up jeopardizing her safety, constantly worries about Eren and clashes with her friends because of it. To some extent, Eren may be doing some of these things as well - but let’s be 100% honest, never nearly as much as Mikasa does. He fiercly protects her when she’s in danger and backs her up when he agrees with her, but at the end of the day he has his own goals and opinions. He doesn’t fixate himself with Mikasa nearly as much as Mikasa does it with him - he’s never jealous of anything but her skills, meanwhile she's often on alert when he’s around other girls. In the manga, she’s displaying jealousy over Annie and Historia, in the anime we can add Hanji to that pool, while in A.O.T. Wings of Freedom she’s also jealous of Sasha and even freckled Ymir - all while Eren remains oblivious and - in these situations, rightfully so - annoyed.

We know that there are reasons why Mikasa treats Eren like this. He obviously saved her life when they were children, but it’s also because she was strongly traumatized by losing both her biological family, and then people who took care of her right after that. It’s only natural that she does anything in her power to not go through that again...

...but it’s important to question if the way her relationship with Eren goes - how she commits to it 100% and how it affects her - is really the best way for her to heal and eventually live a happy life. I believe that Eren himself saw that it was becoming too toxic for Mikasa - and, considering that he actually cares for her and knows that he doesn’t have all the time in the world, he focused on making her move on. In my opinion, that’s why he wanted to push her away during the table scene. It’s also why he tried to get rid of the scarf that Louise brought to him. Even if the execution is far from perfect, he still wants what’s best for her, so he tries to put an end to enabling her unhealthy coping practices. He wants her to live a long, happy life.

Soooo...how does “the cabin AU” fit into all of this?

The answer is simple - it doesn’t. It’s a huge mixture and repetition of everything that’s harmful about Mikasa’s obsession with Eren. It’s a confirmation that Mikasa would be able to leave the entire world for 4 years of constant lying to herself. To betray her friends, leave everything behind, act as if everything was going to be okay and, in turn, make it all worse for herself. Because let me remind you one thing - Mikasa will go on living after Eren looses to the titan curse...but what will she do from now on? Will she stay in the cabin forever, alone and with no one to talk to - no one to share the pain after saying her final goodbye to Eren? Will she come back to the war-ridden world and face her old friends - like Armin who must have been frantically looking for her and Eren? Some of these friends may not want to have anything to do with her after all that - some may be already dead. Maybe there’s no place to go at all.

In my opinion, Eren being okay with this would ultimately prove that he doesn’t care about Mikasa’s wellbeing - and, as I’ve said before I just don’t think that’s the case at all. On top of that, as stated in the beginning, it would serve as a regress of Mikasa’s character - she wouldn’t be able to overcome her weaknesses, which would only make her life harder in the long run. Therefore, I simply can’t accept this vision to be an AU. What do I think it was, then?

Mikasa believes in Eren’s good heart, despite all awful things he commits - she repeatedly says that he does it all for them - his friends...and yet she wants to believe that there must have been a way to not let it all happen. A part of her may be blaming herself, which is why she questions if she could have changed anything by giving him a different answer.

To me, it’s very obvious and I have to admit: I was horrified to see the amount of fans saying “If only she hadn’t family-zoned him, so many people would still be alive!”. Mikasa was NEVER to blame here and her answer should never have a force to change something like that. At the end of the day, it was Eren’s decision to go on with the rumbling, and I hate to see Mikasa (and the fans, too!) putting any blame for it on her.

In conclusion, I really believe that the vision was Mikasa’s daydream - most likely created as a coping mechanism since at this point she knew what was about to happen - what she had to do. Not any AU flashback, but rather a poor, traumathised girl trying to come to terms with the cruel reality - and ultimately reclaiming her strength. In her mind, she comes back to her safe place for a few moments, just to get a bit of comfort - a place where she and Eren live peacefully and safely. In fact, the panel below may suggest that she was dreaming about something similar ever since the training days:

I also believe that, at some point, Eren enters that dream - perhaps somehow through paths, or is sent there by Ymir. There, he once again reminds Mikasa that he wants her to live long, be free and forget about him.

I think in the end, Mikasa rejects that fake utopia, finally understanding that it could never happen and it was not her fault. She accepts the reality as it is and stops rationalizing Eren’s actions. She also comes to terms with her feelings towards him, but won’t let it cloud her judgement anymore. She will remember him and cherish these memories forever, but acknowledges that it has gone too far - she chooses humanity, the world and finally: a long, happy life for her. Just like Eren would want for her.

This time, Mikasa wraps the scarf around herself.

If you’re here, wow - thank you so much for reading, it means a lot! I’m sorry for any mistakes I’ve made while writing - English is not my first language and I didn’t really have anyone to beta-read this long wall of text xd Hope I made my points clear - and just to clarify, my text is not an invitation for any ugly Mikasa haters. As I’ve said before, she’s one of my favorite characters and I hope for the best for her - she’s been through so much, poor girl needs a break :C

#anti eremika #mikasa ackerman #eren jeager #snk 138 #snk spoilers #snk 139 #eremika rant #Mikasa shouldn't exist just for toxic shipping ok #snk theory #snk ending #snk leaks #mikasa

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moonbeam-writing · 3 years

Text

♡ Day Three: Stupid Cupid ♡

❥ Character: Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom)

❥ Prompt: Enemies/Rivals to Lovers (+ a hint of Mutual Pining)!

❥ Quick Note: I don't even know how to explain how much fun I had writing this and I'm so excited for the other drabbles to be posted!!

❥ Warnings: None!

❥ Word Count: 2,012

— ♡ —

(Y/N) left out a long sigh as she sat on the balcony of the girl's hotel room. The Kyoto trip had been far more exhausting than she anticipated, though that was partially her fault. With Koro-Sensei as a teacher and Karma back from suspension, she should have known better.

(Y/N) and Karma grew up together, and despite being civil enough to each other, their personalities seemed to clash just enough for something of a rivalry to be formed. Neither of them even knew what they were fighting with the other about. It wasn't who was stronger or more violent, nor was it about who was smarter. They just seemed to need to be better than the other and that was that.

Rio Nakamura, on the other hand, was convinced that she knew the reason. According to her, their little competition was based on who could hide their feelings better. Rio and Koro-Sensei were so sure that the two had feelings for each other, though, obviously, neither of them wanted to admit it.

(Y/N)’s best friend and their teacher came up with a bunch of reasons as to why the two wouldn't admit things. Some of the most likely reasons they had come up with was that Karma just flat out wasn't the type who knew how to deal with his feelings, (Y/N) would be too anxious to make the first move and would rather die, the two were just intimidated by the possible change that it could bring.

As much as (Y/N) hated to admit it, they were right on some level. She liked him, but was horrified by the changes it could bring. The two had spent so long arguing with each other that she wasn't sure what they’d do otherwise. She didn't know where she’d be without Karma’s snarky remarks.

“Penny for your thoughts, sunshine?” A relatively fitting and oftenly used term for Karma Akabane: Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.

Suppressing an smile and instead, rolling her eyes, (Y/N) turned to Karma. The usual smug and teasing smirk he normally wore was plastered onto his lips and all she could do was look back out ahead of herself again before answering.

“Maybe if you were someone else.” She quietly chuckled to herself, moving her eyes to look at him again. “What are you doing here, anyway? Isn't Koro-Sensei still on the loose?”

“Probably.” The redhead shrugged, mirroring the girl beside him. He had to admit, the girls had a nice view.

Karma’s answer took (Y/N) by surprise. “What do you mean? Normally you’re first in line to go after him.” Her shock sounded in her voice and Karma couldn't keep his smirk from widening. “Also, what are you doing here? The room you would have needed to go into to get here is for the girls.”

“Aw, come on, (Y/N)!” Karma heaved a dramatic sigh. “Can’t I just come talk to my favorite girl?”

Though he posed the question like he were kidding, Karma was being completely honest. Despite how the two would often bicker like children, Karma really did feel somewhat close to the girl. After all, wouldn't it be rather difficult not to feel close to someone you've argued, bantered with, and competed against since you were little?

Granted, aside from the rival status that had been bestowed upon them, he recognized that his rivalry with (Y/N) was far different from his rivalry with Asano. He couldn't possibly convey how grateful he was for that. He wasn’t sure that he could cope if (Y/N) hated him.

This rivalry was much more positive and the two of them knew it. They were always secretly proud of whoever came out on top, outwardly giving a sarcastic comment or childish gesture. The two of them also always had the other’s back, despite not always outwardly showing it. That being said, (Y/N) has always blamed Karma for that, due to the fact that he could always seem to take care of himself.

“There’s no way I’m your favorite girl, Akabane. Your favorite girl to annoy? Sure. However, Okuda’s actually your favorite girl.” (Y/N) responded, keeping her tone witty and joking, however there was a slightly bitter edge to it.

(Y/N) would have loved to believe that she was Karma’s favorite girl like he had said, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit it. With Okuda’s brain power, specifically in regards to science, Karma could find quite the partner in crime inside of her after finding her wild side. After all, that was one of the things that Karma did best, at least in (Y/N)’s eyes. He was always so good at helping people let go.

“Ha ha, I can understand where your mind is probably at, but you’re wrong.” Karma pointed out, turning himself to look at (Y/N) once again. “I barely know her. You, on the other hand, are someone I know. I’ve been bickering with you for years, (Y/N). If you didn’t amuse me in some way, we wouldn’t talk anymore, and I talk to you the most.”

Karma’s words left (Y/N) feeling conflicted. Was he being honest with her? He normally always was, but for some reason she just couldn't find herself believing it. What he said might have been true under normal circumstances, but (Y/N) couldn't see herself as someone who would fall under “normal circumstances”.

Despite her thoughts, (Y/N) couldn't help but laugh a little, though once again, it was more bitter than she anticipated. Regardless, the devilish boy beside her loved the sound.

“I’m sure. Just go back, Karma. Everyone’s probably going to come back soon, you wouldn’t want any of the questions that would follow if you were seen here with me.”

“Okay, and? Half the time they don't question my motives for things, and even then, I don't care.”

(Y/N) mentally swore to herself. She should have known that he would have a way to counter anything she said. Karma always did and it didn't sit right with her sometimes.

Despite how much she secretly adored the sadist, their rivalry absolutely wasn’t good in terms of how (Y/N) would occasionally see herself. To (Y/N), Karma would always be better than her, he would always be right. She had to admit that. It made her proud of him, sure, but it was also frustrating. She couldn’t help but get into her own head about it. (Y/N) always tried her best to get ahead of him, and though she’s supposedly had a few victories, (Y/N) knew that Karma was always going to be better than her. It was just an unspoken fact at this point.

“Right,” (Y/N) relented with a sigh. “Sorry.”

“You should be!” Karma answered as though he were stating the obvious. The girl beside him flinched slightly as though she had done something wrong.

Though Karma wasn't always the best with his own feelings, he could read others like a book. Even more so the girl he has always considered to be his best friend and one-and-only. Karma knew exactly what’s been going on in her head and it bums him out every time. So, with all of that said, the boy decided that tonight he’d put all of his thoughts about her out into the open. She seemed as though she needed to hear something nice about herself.

“You need to think more of yourself, (Y/N)!” Karma couldn't help but smile at the slight widening of (Y/N)’s eyes. Her reactions were some of his favorites.

“What?” (Y/N) almost immediately felt guilt pooling in her stomach. It were as though she were a little kid again and she was caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to and (Y/N) knew Karma noticed. He was too observant to miss it.

Karma’s smirk was as lively as ever. As nice as he wanted to be to the girl beside him, he couldn't help but tease her a little. If anything, he was sure it might cheer her up a little.

“You're so mean to yourself! You spend so much time worrying about whether or not you can actually compete against me, you've been destroying yourself.” He noticed (Y/N)’s grip on the rail in front of her tighten. “If you worry so much about something you’re already succeeding in, you’ll get wrinkles. The smile lines by your eyes are cute, but do you really want more?” He chuckled out, noticing the slight slack in her grip on the railing and the genuine, amused laugh that left her. It was small, but there.

“Getting kind words of caution from you? I never would have thought. To what do I owe the pleasure of those words, Akabane?”

Karma mentally celebrated his win in his head as amused and playful sarcasm laced itself in her words.

He gave a false hum as though he were in thought. “Do you really want to know?”

“You literally just dug yourself into a hole. You know I hate it when people hide things from me.” Karma just laughed as (Y/N) sat there with a pout. “Karma!” She whined. “Tell me!”

“You really wanna know?”

The two could feel the anticipation in the air. It sat heavily between them, but it wasn’t necessarily negative.

“Of course I do! You know I do.”

Once again, Karma found himself snickering at (Y/N). She could just be too cute at times.

“Okay. In that case...” In a very fitting fashion, Karma sat quietly for a moment, adding to (Y/N)’s suspense. “I love you. You’re my favorite rival, my best friend, and somewhere along the way I realized that I love you. You’re the best, (Y/N), and honestly better than me at most things unless it’s math or torture.” He threw a mildly flirty wink her way, taking in the way she averted her gaze away from him, the barely noticeable tint to her cheeks and ears. Karma knew he made the right move.

The two found themselves engulfed in silence again, still full of anticipation, though this time was different. It hinged entirely on (Y/N).

“Really?” Her voice was soft as she looked at Karma in surprise. He nodded at her with a shockingly soft smile. “I love you too.”

Karma grinned widely at her. “I'm not entirely sure on what to do next, I'm going to be completely honest with you.”

The pair laughed together and (Y/N) reached out to take his hand. It was all so new for her and it genuinely made her nervous, but she couldn't help it.

Using their connected hands, Karma pulled (Y/N) closer to him. Nothing big happened, just the two holding hands and being close together.

Until, they heard some noise, that is.

(Y/N) and Karma weren’t sure just how they hadn’t noticed before, probably from being so wrapped up in each other, but nearly right in their line of sight was Koro-Sensei, scribbling away in his little notebook.

The shock of their teacher seemingly coming out of nowhere faded quickly though, as Karma pulled out one of the specially made guns from the pocket of his pants and shot at Koro-Sensei. Unfortunately for the new couple, none of them hit, however it got him to stop writing about them, so they didn't exactly lose.

“You know, I always knew this day would come!” Koro-Sensei exclaimed in his usually theatrical way. “I knew it as soon as Karma was let off of his suspension.”

“Um, okay?”

“Ah, young love. Well, I’ll let you kids get back to it! Though, the girls are back, so good luck!” And just like that, their teacher blasted himself away from the situation at Mach 20.

“Okay, Karma.” (Y/N) sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder. “We have two options. You can either help me sneak away, or we can face the music.”

“We'll just see what happens first.”

#valentine's day event!#assassination classroom #assassination classroom oneshot #assassination classroom drabble #karma x reader #karma #karma akabane x reader #karma akabane #karma akabane x reader oneshot #karma akabane x reader drabble

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thefinalwitness · 2 years

Note

3, 8, and 15 for miss l’aiha please 😌💕

thank u!!!!! 🥺🥺💞💞💞💞💞

3. What does their voice sound like, in a couple of words?

(How about a LOT of words sorry that's how we roll here.) L'aiha has always been well spoken, even when she's incredibly emotional or otherwise hindered. L'khilo thinks it's a clue as to the environment she might've grown up in prior to her amnesia—a scholarly, educated place. He's right, too!

Generally L'aiha is very soft-spoken, polite, and with a hint of 'elegance' or 'properness' in her tone. Obviously FFXIV is afflicted with the same disease as every fantasy media ever, where smart characters are always Fantasy British Accented, but ignoring that for a minute, I think her accent would still be notably miqo'te, especially on H sounds where that 'hiss' comes through. She was raised around very educated miqo'te, so they definitely sound DIFFERENT to your average Seeker or Keeper, but they simultaneously sound Less Different than, say, an educated hyur or elezen would.

I'm not great at putting 'mental voice' into a given accent, but based on L'aiha's upbringing, i'd say she possesses something most like a Spanish accent? (I can't tell EXACTLY what Gyr Abania's coded culture is, but it SEEMS in that ball park) Her maternal family are very recent immigrants from Ala Mhigo, and her paternal family, while generations-old Sharlayans now, still has a strong sense of culture and language predating their own migration.

So uh... Really Smart Spanish Woman Voice, I Guess. Even though her current voiceclaim isn't that, because I was trying to match the Fantasy British Accent. >_> Still would like to change that! But you can imagine how hard it is to find 'smart fantasy voice that ISN'T BRITISH FUCK' lmao.

8. What is their coping mechanism?

ISOLATION. ISOLATION. ISOLATION.

L'aiha has an admittedly bad habit of running away when things get REALLY hard. Tragedy, fights with friends, overwhelming news... Her impulse is to run and hide, and it's one she's still struggling with—her very hair color is evidence of a current episode, where she's trying to run back to a version of herself she doesn't even KNOW beyond second-hand accounts.

It's strange, actually, how often 'isolation' means she'll go somewhere NEW, UNKNOWN. she rarely runs back to what she knows, instead setting out on someplace she's never seen or barely knows anything about. (In truth, it's the bizarre clash of 'running away' and 'exploration'. She's always been a traveller. More so than I'm about to explain to a friend I don't want to overly spoil on FFXIV things. ;D)

15. Has their personality changed at all since they were a child? Why?

DEFINITELY. Ages 0-28, L'aiha was a hopeful and proactive sort. She was to some degree under the effects of the 'gifted child' phenomenon; she'd always been well designed for the difficult schooling and education of Sharlayan, rising to the occasion time and again, leaving little in the way of failures or disappointments in her wake. Life bordered on 'too easy' for her, and she ached for more.

After she left Sharlayan, she definitely FOUND more. She found a crisis on an apocalyptic scale; a problem she could not solve with wit or resolve. A problem that killed her and some of her dearest friends.

And though she doesn't remember any of it after she wakens in the Gyr Abanian wilderness, the failure fundamentally changed her. She became cautious, sometimes overly so, and though she still possesses a LOT of ambition and compassion, she struggles more to act on it. Something forgotten in her dreads to fail again.

She's very much the embodiment of 'once bitten and twice shy' these days, and she's learning how to overcome AND accept it, ESPECIALLY now that she knows who she WAS before. Brave and bold and unstoppable J'nhala Eiha, now the tentative and uncertain L'aiha Kh. Slowly, she's learning there's good in the change—she's more careful, more considerate, and most of all she UNDERSTANDS why someone else would falter for fear alone. But it's not the way of a gifted student or venerated hero. It's not what she was. And she's learning that that's okay.

#THANKIE AGAIN i have one (1) very confused catgirl #l'aiha #wol

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northlight14 · 3 years

Text

Breakup’s, birthdays and drag shows

Description: Roman and Janus broke up and now Roman can't celebrate his birthday with him. Now it's Virgil's job as his best friend to cheer him up.

TW: breakup mention, crying, cursing, Janus isn't intended to be unsympathetic but since Virgil doesn't like him it might come across that way, alcohol mention, brief violence mention, let me know if I need to add anything else

Ships: platonic prinxiety, past roceit

Genre: hurt/comfort

Prompt: alt prompt 4, drag (prompt by @pridewrite2021)

Virgil was browsing the card isle looking for a birthday card for Roman when his phone started to buzz. He pulled it out to see it was Remus calling him.

"Ugh, what is it Remus?" Virgil said, already not interested in whatever Remus had gotten himself into.

"Hey Virgin! Can you come over?" Remus chirped.

"I'll be coming over later to drop off Roman's card. Why, what's up?"

"Well, you know how Roman and Janus broke up last week?" How could Virgil forget? Roman had spent the entire week being an absolute wreck and Patton and Logan had to hold Virgil back in order to stop him beating Janus up.

"Yes." Virgil gritted out through his teeth.

"Well, Roman just realized that he isn't gonna be able to celebrate with him and that this is gonna be his first birthday without him in 3 years and what not. So now he's crying in his room, lookin' like a hot mess. And since he's your best friend and all I was wondering if you could come and cheer him up or whatever."

"What! How the hell am I supposed to do that?!" Virgil yelled, before realizing he's still standing in the middle of the card isle, hiding his face which was now scarlet.

"I don't know man but you'll come up with something! You're like a brother to him, Virgie!"

"You actually are his brother, Rem!"

"Come on Virgil, please!" Remus pleaded through the phone. "I just...I really don't know what to do, here." He said, voice suddenly going quiet.

Virgil sighed. "Ok, I'll be ten minutes."

———

Virgil always forgot how big Roman's house was. The drive way alone seemed to go on for ages, outlined by large trees and red rose bushes. The pathway to the door was a red brick and clearly well taken care of. The house itself was a faded red brick with large windows and balconies. The front door was too tall and painted black, standing in the middle of two white pillars.

Looking at where Roman lived, it was easy to see why Virgil had disliked him at first. When they'd first met, Roman had a much bigger problem with his bratty rich kid attitude and with his life seemingly perfect from an outsiders point of view it was easy to see why they clashed. after all, Virgil had absent parents and had to work several jobs to help pay bills. But as he got to know Remus better it made it much easier to see through Roman as well. Mr and Mrs Prince were nice enough but they had a bad habit of pitting Roman and Remus against each other, both with academics and creative pursuits. It turned out Roman's arrogant attitude was a coping mechanism for his surprisingly low self esteem. It also turned out that Roman wasn't just "lazy" when it came to school work like Virgil had first thought, but he was actually struggling with ADHD. The more Virgil learned about Roman and the more Roman learned about Virgil, the closer they became until they began to see each other as brothers. Brothers that would make fun of each other relentlessly but brothers non the less.

Virgil knocked on the large door and waited for a response. Not too long after, Mrs Prince answered. She was a tall and slender woman with tanned skin. Her dark hair was tied perfectly in a bun. She wore a black dress with a red shall, both of which looked as expensive as Virgil's car.

"Oh, hello Virgil. I assume you're here for Roman? Remus said you were coming." She said.

"Uh, yeah. Can I come in?"

"Of coarse, Roman should be in his room. He hasn't come out since this morning." She said, stepping aside to let Virgil in.

'Oh God.' Virgil thought to himself before heading upstairs and hoping he would finally be able to remember which room is Romans.

In the end Remus came out his room and pointed Virgil in the right direction but hey, no one else needed to know that.

Gently, Virgil knocked on Romans door and waited to be let in.

"Remus, I told you to go away!" Roman yelled from inside, his voice sounding muffled.

"Hey Roman, it's Virgil. Can I come in?"

There was a brief moments pause before Virgil heard a quiet voice he decided to interoperate as Roman inviting him in.

Virgil was very taken aback by the sight before him. The room, which was usually kept as neat as possible, was covered in tissues, chocolate wrappers and a mix of opened and unopened presents. Roman was sat on his bed, eyes puffy and hair messy.

"Um, hey, are you alright?" 'Fuck sake Virgil, obviously he isn't.' Roman sniffled, smiling despite himself. "Yeah, I just...I miss him, ya know?"

"Yeah." Virgil said, sitting beside him. "Oh, um, I got you this..." Virgil awkwardly passed him the card.

Roman smiled, accepting it. "Thanks."

"So...what do you want to do? For your birthday, I mean." Virgil said, trying and failing to hide his discomfort.

"I don't know..." Roman sighed, looking down at his hands. "I was just going to continue to watch Carmen Santiago. But I always watched that with Janus. It was our show, ya know? He'd always make a comment about how she's still stealing and I'd counter it with how she's stealing from thieves so surely that makes it ok! I don't know, it just...it feels wrong to watch it without him..." Roman laughed sadly. "Which sucks because the last episode left on a cliff hanger and I really wanna know what happens next." He laughed a little at his own expense.

Virgil couldn't help but smirk. "Well, why don't we go out somewhere?"

Roman looked down again. "I don't know..."

'Crap. What the heck am I supposed to do here?!'

Virgil looked around awkwardly. He then spied in the corner what looked like a new makeup pallet. Roman must have gotten it for his birthday. 'Bingo.'

"Hey, why don't we do each other's makeup?" Virgil offered.

Romans face immediately lit up. "Really?!" He said, excitedly.

"Yeah, why not?" Virgil said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Well last time I asked to do your makeup, you said you'd rather stab yourself in the eye with your eye liner."

"Yeah, well..." Virgil coughed. "Consider it my birthday present to you."

Roman immediately shot up and grabbed the eyeshadow pallet and several brushes. "I promise you won't regret this!" Yeah, Virgil was already regretting this but Roman seemed happy and that's all that mattered.

———

The brushes tickled Virgil's face as Roman layered the purple eye shadow. Virgil almost started to object as Roman began to apply silver jewels at the edges of the eye shadow, before stopping himself. Roman then finished the look by applying a purplish pink lipstick and brushing Virgil's bangs out of his face. He then handed Virgil a mirror. The look was very 80's glam, far from Virgil's usual style but he had to admit, it looked really good. The eyeshadow looked sharp, the upper lid being a lighter shade than the under eye and corners of the eyes.

"It looks great!" Virgil said, admiring it. Roman smiled proudly from the compliment. "Alright." Virgil said, taking the eye shadow pallet. "Your turn."

Roman laughed. "I appreciate the offer, rainy day real estate, but I don't really wanna look like I haven't slept in a hundred years." Roman teased.

"Says the guy who's went entire weeks not sleeping because he was binge watching a new show!" Virgil teased back.

"And I'll have you know I wear that like a badge of honor!"

"Besides," Virgil continued to laugh. "I know how to do other makeup looks."

"Ok..." Roman said. "But if I end up looking like a Tim Burton character, I will kill you with my bare hands." They both couldn't help but laugh.

Virgil decided to go for a similar style that Roman went for, layering different shades of red and mixing in some gold glitter. He also decided to draw a small crown on his right cheek, just below the eye. The look was then finished off with red lipstick to match.

He passed the mirror over to Roman who gasped in delight at his reflection. "It looks so good!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah? I'm glad you like it." Virgil smiled, pulling back on his purple patch hoodie after taking it off to give himself more mobility when applying the makeup.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Roman said, waving his arms in front of his face before jumping up and handing Virgil a black leather jacket that was hung on his chair as well as a pair of purple tinted heart glasses. "Put these on!" He exclaimed.

Virgil once again pulled off his hoodie, replacing it with the leather jacket. It fit him surprisingly well considering Roman was a fair bit taller and more muscular than him. He then put on the glasses and Roman eagerly pulled him off his bed and guided him to his full length mirror.

"Wow...I actually look really good." Virgil said.

"See! I told you!" Roman laughed.

Virgil examined the jacket. "I didn't think you'd own a jacket like this. Did you steal it from Remus or something?" Virgil asked.

Romans smile suddenly dropped. "It, uh, it was Janus'..."

Shit.

"Oh, um, sorry." Virgil said, honestly.

"It's ok." Roman sighed, sitting back on his bed. "I've been meaning to give it back. Especially since it still has his wallet in it. But that means I'll have to see him and I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

'He left his wallet in here?' Virgil put his hands in the pockets and sure enough, Roman was right. Virgil quickly started to feel all too powerful now knowing this.

"Hey, come on, let's go out somewhere. Show off your makeup." Virgil tried again.

"For someone who looks like they belong in a vampire novel, you're awfully eager to go outside." Roman laughed.

"Come on, I just think it'll do you some good to get out for a bit."

Roman averted Virgil's gaze. "I don't know..."

"Come on, man. Do you really want to let that jackass ruin your birthday?"

Roman sighed. "Ok, fine."

Virgil waited outside Romans room as he changed out his pajamas. When he came out, he was sporting a white shirt paired with a black jacket that had a red floral pattern. He was also wearing a pair of glasses, his in the shape of two fairy wings that matched the gold in his eye shadow perfectly.

As the two walked out the house, Roman called "Mom, weren't going out! I should be home soon!"

His mom sounded surprised by this but happy non the less. "Ok sweetie, be back soon!"

"So where are we going?" Roman asked as they walked out the house.

"How the hell should I know? I'm just winging it." Virgil laughed.

———

The two wandered through the town as the sun began to set, the reds and oranges bouncing off Romans glasses and the glitter perfectly. Virgil was all too aware of the judging looks they were being given but when he looked at Roman, he seemed happy. And right now that's all that mattered. Just keeping Romans mind off Janus.

Eventually, Virgil began to hear the sound of music and he subconsciously started to follow it, Roman tailing behind. As he wandered through the town he eventually found the source.

A bar putting on a drag show.

Roman was staring off into space, standing next to him. Virgil tapped his shoulder, pulling him back to reality. "Hey, I know what we're doing."

———

Romans face lit up once more when he saw the stage. It didn't seem like they missed too much, which was good. The drag queen that was stood on the stage currently was singing, her hair done big with makeup that shone and reflected the lights perfectly. Her dress black and covered in sequins and frills. The heels she wore didn't look comfortable in the slightest but she walked in them with ease.

The two sat at the bar. They were each 18 and 19, meaning they wouldn't be able to drink but given the circumstances, it was probably best if Roman didn't get drunk right now.

Instead, Virgil just ordered them some non alcoholic drinks and fries. Roman was about to hand him the money to pay but Virgil immediately declined. "My treat. It's your birthday after all." Virgil then remembered Janus' wallet still in his jacket pocket. 'I mean, if Janus is the reason we're here, it's only right he should be the one to pay for us, right?' Virgil couldn't help his smirk as he handed the money over.

The night continued and Roman and Virgil cheered loudly for each queen on stage, each one quite different from the last. Virgil watched as any sign of grief seemingly dissolved from Romans face.

The final queen for the night came on the stage and they both watched with joy as she performed.

"I know what you're doing, you know." Roman said, not taking his eyes off the stage. Virgil froze instantly, slowly daring to look at his friend. Roman once again had small tears in his eyes but he wore the most genuine smile Virgil hadn't seen on him in ages. "Thank you."

Virgil smiled at his friend. At his brother. "Of coarse."

-------

Authors note: I’ve been wanting to write something based on the glam looks Thomas posted for Roman and Virgil for a while now and I obviously wanted to write something for Romans birthday. So when I saw the prompt for today was ‘drag’ I immediately thought “well that’s convenient”. So happy birthday Roman! Anyway, hope y’all enjoyed. I’m still practicing my writing and hopefully I’m improving.

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readingsbylibramc · 3 years

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birth chart reading for @xxg0thbabyxx

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are mercury, the sun and uranus. you are definitely a very charismatic person, you are sociable and people see you as someone easy to approach. you look and are friendly, you try to make everyone comfortable, even though you could change your mind pretty often. because of that, people can see you as too unpredictable or impulsive.

your dominant sign is gemini. you are a very intelligent individual, you are thirsty for knowledge and you also have great communication skills. you have a witty sense of humor, you're able to make everyone feel at ease with your sympathy. people may say you're two-faced, but in reality you just act in the most appropriate way based on the situation you're in. you despise boredom, you're very experimental in your life, but others may mistake this trait for flakiness.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in gemini, 2° / 1st decan ruled by mercury

you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive, even though this energy may not be much prominent; it may be perceived differently due to your libra energy, in fact. that’s because libra prefers organizing things, rather than acting impulsively. yet, this placement still helps you being adaptable to changes, even though you may only be able to see it after a few years if you manage to balance it well. you may also be able to match the energy of the people you’re talking to in order to be perceived as more likeable and connect with everyone on a deeper level. you may be fond of books, poetry, literature… both writing and reading. it’s also a way to let yourself tune to your emotions. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak. appearance-wise, I assume you’re at least of average height, with long limbs and fingers. you have something small about your face; you may either have a small nose, or eyes, lips etc. same thing goes for your bones. you may be naturally skinny, or perhaps you have healthy curves. you also tend to look younger than you actually are, especially when growing up. you may often be, or at least look, sleepy. your eyes have a very dreamy look to them, and they’re probably almond-shaped.

gemini ascendant square pisces moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. the moon being in pisces doesn't help either, as this aspect enhances its trust issues even more. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

gemini ascendant opposite sagittarius pluto: you're aware that the world is too nasty for your honesty, hence you may have trust issues. even though you are friendly, you're very picky about who you decide to actually call your friend. you may constantly feel lonely, as if no one were willing to listen and understand you. you live with the fear that others may take advantage of you, hence you end up doing it yourself, unconsciously. you may be controlling, but your chart hints that it's not too much of a big deal. you may have the tendency to do it sometimes, but it's mostly a bad trait of your past life. the universe is testing you to see if you've learned your lesson or not. you have all the skills to avoid this type of behaviour now that you're aware of it.

🌞 sun in gemini, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and venus

with your sun in the mutable sign of gemini, you are a very light-hearted, chill individual. you're very bright and bubbly, you have amazing communication skills and also an entertaining sense of humor that is able to light up the room. you're very sociable, you like interacting with others, and with your heavy gemini energy in the rest of your chart, you don't find it hard to let this side of you out, especially with people you feel comfortable with. since gemini is a mutable sign, you most likely have tons of interests and hobbies, they're so many that you find it hard to keep up with all of them, despite being extremely good at multi-tasking. in fact, you're particularly intelligent and thirsty for knowledge. you like learning about everything, you love looking and being smart. it's your way to feel empowered and proud of yourself. you always need freshness in your daily life, you cannot stand boredom. because of that, you may often change your ideas, your hobbies, your favourite singer, etc. sometimes, you could even apply this to friends and lovers, and people may consider you unloyal or not much serious because of that. in addition, you get easily very anxious and stressed, to the point that you may seem dramatic to others.

gemini sun square pisces moon: with this aspect, what you need and what you want tend to clash. in your case, your gemini sun wants to be in the spotlight, you want to be sociable and have fun. you want to go out often and live life to the fullest, while your pisces moon is more private, it prefers being alone. as a result, you may come off as unpredictable and / or indecisive. you could struggle with being optimistic, as you have this inner turmoil in you that makes you struggle to attract positive situations in your life. you may often feel conflicted, as if you didn't have control over your emotions. you may have unstable self-esteem, one day you could be feeling extra confident and happy with yourself and then the next day you feel very insecure, you want to change everything about your persona. you could feel unwanted, or perhaps you actually used to feel unwanted during your childhood, perhaps by your parents, relatives or even by other children at school. you're basically a walking paradox, you want both intimacy and independence, stability and flexibility.

gemini sun opposite sagittarius pluto: probably during your childhood you couldn't make your own decisions. you might have been highly influenced by someone in your family, probably your father, and hence now you feel the need to have everything under control. maybe too much. you despise authority, you may even quite rebellious. maybe your parents have tried to convince you following their religion, ideals etc., without giving you freedom. or perhaps, they are overprotective and avoid to make you have experiences. I imagine that getting rid of your control issues, which are caused by this sense of not being in control of your life, may be the first step to finally heal your wound, which is somehow linked to the relationship with your friends and casual partners in your everyday life. start trusting others more, and don't be afraid of being 'fooled'. you're totally capable of understanding when someone is trying to hurt you, follow your intuition. even though it may be hard, even painful, it'll be the key to transform and overcome pluto's lessons to achieve your goals.

🌙 moon in pisces, 5° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

pisces moon square sagittarius pluto: your emotions are so intense that they almost scare those around you. in fact, you're prone to accentuated mood swings; when you're happy, you start smiling and laughing joyfully. when you're sad, you're the type to cry, scream, even throw up in some cases. that's how far you go with your emotions. maybe, you also feel repressed to express your feelings exactly for this reason. you probably also have a conservative/possessive mother (or just any member of your family), with whom you don't feel at ease expressing your emotions. or maybe, your mother was absent throughout your life. on the other hand, you can understand others' feelings, but be careful not to use it to manipulate others. you could also be very paranoid, and might develop addictions and anxiety disorders, especially with your sensitive pisces moon.

🗣 mercury in gemini, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

mercury is in its natural place in gemini, your whole chart flows very well! you have great problem-solving skills, you are extremely intelligent and astute. when you were younger, you probably used to be the winner at games like hide-and-seek. this placement also enhances your thirst for knowledge of any kind, you want to learn at least a little about anything, from science to foreign cultures. yet, since you want to learn so many things all at once, you may lack precision and be a little bit superficial. on the other hand, you're a fast learner and you may often find people predictable, but in reality you're just ahead of them. you're also very open-minded, even though you still rely more on logic, not like your sister sign is sagittarius. yet, it's easy for you to be flexible in your day-to-day life, you don't have to follow a schedule to have everything under control, even though you may often suffer from stress and headaches due to this lack of organization. you may have a very youthful and positive voice, you just give off good vibes, you know?

❤️ venus in leo, 0° / 1st decan ruled by the sun

with leo venus you're very picky, as you have high expectations for your future partner. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love. you look at them as if they were the brighest star in the sky, and you want to be seen like this as well. you may even be a bit clingy, but your partner needs to be aware of that. they can't repress your need for affection. you see love as a way to revive your inner child, you feel younger when you're in love. even though you want someone fun and outgoing, you also need someone ambitious, hard-working and generally serious when it comes to committing. there's no room in your life for flaky people.

leo venus square libra mars: this placement most likely gives you a short-temper. you may have lots of friends or lots of romantic partners, but you may find yourself being often irritated by them. you could argue with others over petty things, and this could affect your relationships significantly. at the same time, you enjoy fun, exciting relationships. you're the type who's looking for a risktaker, even dangerous partner. you hate boredom, and this may be your weakness regarding this placement; that is, once the relationship starts getting more serious, you feel as if it's going down, when it's actually the opposite. hence, you just run towards a new adventure. with this placement, what you need is learning to open up and being honest without being too blunt. you need to talk about your feelings, you can't bottle them up, but be careful not to sound rude, don't be too impulsive. because of your nature, the perfect partner for you would be someone mature, confident and empathetic that will understand you and won't get hurt by your words.

leo venus square aries jupiter: you come off as a very positive, happy-go-lucky person. you're extremely friendly, and this makes you be good at social relationships. you may have lots of friends, or at least you have the potential to make many if you opened up and talked to them. yet, while this energy gives you positive vibes, some people may take advantage of that, as you could easily be mistaken for naive. people can try to dominate you unconsciously (sometimes even on purpose) not only in relationships but even in friendships. aside from that, I don't think this placement causes you many problems. you may have the tendency to procrastinate and not work. you could be quite lazy and get easily distracted, as you're constantly with your head in the cloud.

leo venus opposite aquarius neptune: you probably dream of a love like those you hear about in fairytales; you're not only looking for a partner, you literally want a princess/prince, who's willing to give their all to you. you find yourself daydreaming often about love, and it may also be your source of inspiration for creativity and art in general. probably, you may idealize people too much; that is, you may create a version of others that only exists in your head. hence, once you get to know someone better, they turn out to be the exact opposite of what you thought. this causes you to be sort of naive when it comes to relationships, so pay extra attention to this problem now that you're aware of it.

☄️ mars in libra, 24° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst of things that you probably don’t even feel, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.

libra mars opposite aries jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in gemini. your ego feels fulfilled when you express your opinions, ideas and creativity. people probably see you as an intelligent, wise individual. maybe even as a know-it-all. you care about both your inner and outer self, which may be the cause of your confidence issues. you try to fit into society, and you tend to change your approach to people based on who you’re interacting with. while this gives you great social skills, it may confuse you quite a bit. in fact, you may forget who you are. you may often have identity crisis, especially since you always feel as if you have to fit somewhere. your sun in this house makes you very confident and motivated to achieve your goals. you possess strong leadership, which makes you aspire for the best positions in work, school, marriage etc. you don't want to lower your standards. you hate routine; you always try to spice up your daily life a bit by meeting new people and trying new experiences in general. you enjoy having fun, partying, travelling... you thrive in social situations. you may have troubles making right decisions, as you're quite indecisive. but, once you do choose, no one is gonna stop you from achieving your goals and showing the world who you are. in fact, you gain confidence from your assertiveness, making you pretty proud of your persona as well.

your 2nd house is in gemini again, with also your mercury sitting there. you’re probably very intelligent, and your skills are what boost your self-esteem. you’re also capable of doing more than one thing at the same time. you could make money from communication, hence you could become a writer, a singer, a theraphist, a judge, even an influencer. anything that involves the use of words. you may also be quite intelligent, and your intellect and ideas are what make you feel most confident. you have a slow way of thinking and speaking. your voice may sound really calm and pleasant to hear, yet still strict and ambitious. you’re probably a good singer, or at least have the potential to become one. you tend to overthink a lot, but you eventually get to a conclusion and stick to it. no one is gonna change your mind. you enjoy learning and working in creative ways; you might enjoy using powerpoints, flashcards or maybe study with your friends, or listening to music. you also probably have a nice, aesthetic handwriting and you like organizing your agenda. your voice is probably very soft and youthful.

your 3rd house is in cancer. your parents were probably successful in school and university, and they passed down their knowledge to you. maybe, you may have the same interests or passions as them, or perhaps they want you to be academically successful just like them. you may also find yourself talking about your memories, as you’re very attached to them, or even directly about your childhood/parents. your venus is also in this house: your flirting style most probably includes jokes, teasing… things like that. even though you may seem flaky, as you like experiencing romance with different types of people, you’re actually quite picky. in fact, in order to fall for someone, you need to feel mentally attracted to them, not just physically. someone ignorant and stubborn that doesn’t care about learning something most definitely isn’t for you. you’re not the type to be super romantic and sweet with your partner or just people in general. you show your affection for example by sending them memes, making ironic jokes about them etc. also, when you’re into someone, you probably get very talkative! you start asking them simple questions about their life, even things like 'did you have lunch?’.

your 4th house is in leo. your family had great expectations of you, which could have eventually led to anxiety/self-esteem issues. on the other hand, your parents cared about you, and they always made sure that you had everything you needed. if you have siblings, you were most likely the favourite child in the family, or at least you were spoiled by your parents, both with material things and affection. overall, your childhood wasn’t much turbulent, even though your parents most likely were quite strict with you. there could have been a bit of arguing as well aside from restrictions, and hence it was hard for you to establish a proper emotional bond with them. because of that, you may feel a little insecure now, as you may constantly feel misunderstood by others.

your 5th house is in virgo. you enjoy relax, yet you may feel guilty to abandon work for a while. you always feel like you have something to do, and that doesn’t allow you to fully enjoy your rest time. make sure to always find some space for yourself, though. it’s where your energy resides, you feel at home and comfortable exploring your abilities, you shouldn’t take them for granted. also, this enhances your writing abilities even more. in fact, you’re both creative to create stories and rational to tell them objectively and in a clear manner. you're picky with your lovers and friends, it takes time for you to open up to someone and fully trust them, but once you do, you're very loyal. I don't see you being as extroverted as other geminis, you need your alone time, but you definitely don't mind spending time with your loved ones and close friends.

your 6th house is in libra. you most likely involve beauty, art, aesthetics and creativity in your daily routine. your home environment probably looks very neat and well-designed. you care a lot about it, as much as you care about yourself; you put a lot of attention in your outfits and looks too, and you most likely love shopping. this is another placement that indicates that your ideal career should serve your need for creativity and self-expression. it’s very important for you to pursue a career that helps you find a way to express the creative side of your mind. you may also often find yourself dating people from your daily routine, hence co-workers, classmates etc. mars is also placed in this house: your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out.

your 7th house is in sagittarius. you want your marriage to be a constant travel for you, in which you can both relax and learn. you want to marry a witty and impulsive partner, that is also fun to live with. you may often find yourself falling for unavailable people, either physically or emotionally (or even both). they may be foreign, or at least they’re able to speak a different language from yours. they could also have a different culture/religion from yours. overall, they're also very wise, outgoing and surprisingly open-minded and philosophical. you could meet them in a place where you go to relax, such as the movie theater, a spa, the beach or even during a vacation. your sagittarius pluto is also sitting in this house: you tend to attract very intense partners. your future spouse will be very loyal and fond of you, but they may be a little too obsessive for you. it will be a very intimate relationship, but you may struggle with control. in fact, you’ll most likely be both very possessive and easily jealous, and there may be some arguments regarding this issue. with this placement, you may also attract ‘broken’ people, such as drug dealers, alcoholics, abusers… yet, as I’ve already mentioned, you also have jupiter (sagittarius) in this house, which makes you luckier when it comes to love. you’ll most likely avoid this type of people, but your relationships will still be very karmic. they may be painful, as you love hard when you fall for someone, but they’ll be crucial for your self-growth. you may also find yourself being attracted to mature, possibly older people, from different cultures / country from yours.

your 8th house is in sagittarius again. you’re very curious when it comes to taboo topics, you like learning about them. you’re probably into conspiracy theories, as well as matters like astrology, tarots, horror, tragedies, violence… you can use them to transform yourself and grow up, so you could definitely use this birth chart reading to improve yourself. 8th house is also the house of karma, and yours is kind of strange. you may often feel like you’re right about something, e.g the sky is blue. you’re very proud of your observation, but then it turns out to be different. it’s like the universe is constantly teaching you new things. luckily, this is something that gets better with time. in addition, having sagittarius here is great, as jupiter kind of protects you from the 8th house’s malefic themes. all the negative things that could happen to you, are actually blessings that are here to help you. you just need to be a little bit more optimistic, the universe has your back.

your 9th house is in capricorn, with also your neptune sitting there. you have a pragmatic approach to philosophy, school and experiences in general. for example, you may be the type to plan every day of a travel. at school, you were probably the type to prefer more logical subjects, but I assume that you were good at all of them. with neptune being also here, you may come across a lot of unexpected and confusing events in your life, especially when you’re entering a new phase of your life. yet, you may often get lost in your thoughts and get unmotivated from time to time. you most likely love travelling and making new experiences. if you had to choose how to spend your spare time, you’d most likely choose to travel somewhere. you’re also extremely open-minded, you hardly ever have prejudices. you surely don’t judge people from their sexuality, skin colour etc. last but not least, you may also have a knack for philosophy, poetry, literature, history… anything that can open your mind and stimulate your creativity.

your 10th house is in aquarius with also your moon and uranus placed there. your uranus is tightly conjunct the midheaven. you want to stand out from the crowd, you strive to establish your own morals and beliefs. you don’t want to conform to anything and anyone, as you’re a trend-setter and you want to be seen as such. you’d rather have a job where you can handle your work yourself, rather than having a boss. in fact, aquarius in this house makes you extremely resolute and motivated to achieve your goals and be independent. you may not be much interested in love, and if you are, you don’t overlook career either. having a stable and successful future that makes you happy is the key for happiness in your life. it’s important to be focused when working, especially for you. yet, once you know how to balance this tricky energy and get your stuff together, you’ll earn a reputation for being an innovative and original person. you may be quite artistic, creative and emotional, you’ll probably focus your life on self-expression. with the moon in this house, you are most likely going to be independent at work, you'll most likely have your own business. you could possibly work online as well, you could earn money through the internet, or perhaps your job may require you to physically move: you could be a dancer, an actor/actress, you could pursue a career that involves a certain sport, etc. you will get to express your emotions through your job, or perhaps you'll get to help other people with their feelings. you would make a great therapist, nurse, counselor, etc.

your 11th house is in pisces. you probably had problems with your friendships in your early years. you could have been too shy to approach people, hence you struggled to befriend them. or maybe, you used to gossip around, and that led you to lose them. or perhaps, you’re too work-oriented to find some spare time to hang out with others, and hence you end up losing your bond with them. in the best case, you may have quite spiritual / religious friends, or perhaps they’re your soulmates, they were a part of your past life. you have this habit of idealizing them a bit; that is, you may be too picky in choosing your friends. you’re probably looking for the type of friend that’d literally throw themselves under a car to save you, but it’s hard to actually find someone like that. open up more and accept others as they are. you don’t necessarily need to be with them for a long time, but make sure to learn your lessons from them.

lastly, your 12th house is in the sign of taurus, with also saturn and jupiter placed there. you may feel attracted to spirituality, but you’re quite lazy to actually dive into it. I feel like at first you may be quite skeptical about your abilities, but as time goes by you become more open-minded and in tune with your higher self. once you understand your true power, you'll become very spiritual and intuitive. you'll have lots of meaningful dreams, possibly prophetic dreams that could warn you about the future. you may be able to perceive and talk to higher entities such as spirits, and you could become a master at manifestation. with a positive attitude, you'll be able to attract everything you want in your life, especially finances and love thanks to taurus in the cusp of the 12th house.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract sagittarius, virgo, scorpio and aquarius placements. your future spouse may also have prominent sagittarius placements; you need someone who’s charming, respectful, interesting and polite, but that can also stand up for themselves with no hesitation. you’re also into the magnetic, sexy type. you’re looking for someone independent, but that wouldn’t mind dedicating their time to you. you may feel unlucky in love, as your sagittarius descendant makes you attract people that are usually unavailable, whether it’s physically (they’re abroad) or emotionally. you may marry someone of a different culture/country/religion from yours. you may also meet and marry abroad or during a vacation. they could also be someone very well known in their career field, or perhaps they may even be famous. you could also meet them in a place where people usually relax, such as a bar or at the restaurant, and it will most likely be love at first sight. your children will most probably have very prominent mercurian energy, hence virgo or gemini; they’ll love to learn new things, they'll be very witty and ask multiple questions, as they will be very intelligent. yet, they could be a bit too talkative, and could have a tendency to gossip.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably very hard-working, and she has a strong role in your family. she loves being spoiled and appreciated, together with receiving attention. yet, she could sometimes be quite superficial because of that, but deep down she’s very romantic and mannered. she may have leo placements, or maybe aquarius, cancer, scorpio or capricorn. your father is a bit more unpredictable, he could be moody and therefore you may argue with him more often, and he might be an aquarius or have any type of fire/water placement in his chart. yet, he also has a very sweet and outgoing side to him that he may struggle to let out. if you have siblings, they’re probably leos/fire signs. you have a very pleasant relationship with them, you're all very playful and generous and you used to always stand up for each other, even though there could have been a bit of competition.

📊 career

as I’ve already mentioned above, you most likely have great communication skills and writing abilities. you’re very logical and precise, you’d definitely do well in a field that requires calm and organization. I can also picture you being an amazing teacher or even professor. based on your other placements, you could also do well at literally any creative career! you may be a dancer, a singer, or even something more complex like a creative director. otherwise, you could also be successful as a designer of any kind, an architect, a scientist… something that allows you to be mostly independent, but that can still guarantee you mental stimulation and a decent income, and that also allows you to use your creative venusian energy. I also see you working in the medical field, especially as a therapist, a psychologist, a nurse... anything that allows you to help other people's mental health. your future career could also include spirituality, such as yoga, astrology... you may be a medium, a tarot reader, a fortune teller, etc.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

keyword for your wardrobe: black. every leo venus loves black, it's probably my favorite love story. after all, it's such a versatile color! it can be both badass and classy, how can I blame you. you may also have a thing for anything that looks luxury and high quality; you probably enjoy wearing designer brands, especially in your belts and bags. you may also like wearing fitted clothes, even just simple skinny jeans or tight tops. aside from black, you could as well use white and bold colours like gold, hot pink etc. also, you may as well be into pastel colors, and you could like following fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were very career-oriented. you were probably extremely successful at work, it was your priority. you could have even been someone important for your career, who knows. yet, this lifetime you don't need to focus on work anymore, you're already a master at it. now, you need to solve your issues with your family and create a family of your own to fully accomplish your life purpose. there may be some ups and downs, but this is what your soul has to learn in this lifetime.

🤔 major transits analysis / august 18

jupiter is current in aquarius, meaning that it's transiting your 10th house conjunct your pisces moon. this is an extremely positive time for you! in fact, having the planet of abundance and luck conjunct the planet of energy means that you're motivated to work hard and achieve your goals! it's the best time to start a diet, a workout routine, study, dive into a new hobby... your vibration is much higher these days, therefore it's the best time for you to manifest.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. in this way, you'll develop a more optimistic mindset and you'll be able to attract more positivity in your life. you just have to believe in your power!

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

-libramc xx

#astrology

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dallonm-archive · 4 years

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So I Turned Church Mud Into A Novel Lol Oops | NaNoWriMo 2020

Folks the JOURNEY I have been on in the last 3 days. I’ve been on a great albeit chaotic Church Mud high and it led to? This?

For those who don’t know, Church Mud is meant to be a ~7k words short story for my writing dissertation (and it still is). I attempted to do Draft Zero over summer, completely missed the mark, pretended it didnt exist for a month and here we are. One thing I learnt from that attempt though was that there is a much wider story to be told than what we’d see in those 7k words. Back then I was content with it only existing as a short story, not having all the parts told, because I liked the idea of Felix and Dorothy existing in this small window with a happy ending that’d otherwise be temporary. But I cannot help myself :) I met my advisor on Wednesday and reaffirmed that I’m at a really good place with this story in terms of ideas, themes and character - what’s missing was just the plot. So that’s what I’ve been working on (and killing my sleep schedule over) since, and what happened was: I realise most of my ideas wouldn’t fit the short story --> But they’d work in a novel --> So I guess I’m writing Church Mud as a novel after I graduate? --> But I kinda wanna write it now --> But I can’t --> But I want to --> Chloe your dissertation --> Hey you want more novel content? Here’s chapter titles --> God I Can’t Wait To Write This As A Novel --> Hey that thing where you write a novel in a month is happening soon...could be a...perfect excuse to...….,,,

So I had a ~revelation~ at 4am: why can’t I write it now? NaNoWriMo coincides with when I’m meant to brainstorm this story, so why don’t I take what I have and pants it as a novel, intentionally #LoseNano2020 and use what I wrote to infer what the short story will look like whilst also have a Draft Zero to work with/finish/rewrite next year? I debated if this was a good idea because it felt ~unconventional~ but I realised that a) I want to write this as a novel anyway and b) this is where I’m loving the project and that’s what matters and c) makes it feel less like uni work lol I’ve spent the all day playing around with what Church Mud The Novel would look like, and not only am I o b s s e s s e d but it also taught me? so much? about the short story? I was worried it’d get complicated but from the vague plot idea I have, I have a clear vision of Church Mud The Short Story separate from the novel, but I also see how it would fit into the novel as a chapter, and seeing where it’d fit in has really helped me figure out where it sits in the twins’ lives and so many elements I hadn’t considered before. I believe very strongly in Writers Intuition and my intuition is telling me that this is the direction I need to go with this project. My only issue is Church Mud doesn’t fit as a title for the novel at all and was never going to be the title, but I really don’t care oop, I’m not titling it until next year unless I come up with a title so good I want to change the short story as well lmao. But other than that this is working so well for me and really catalysed the momentum I already had atm for this story. I’ve also wanted to rework how I share Church Mud things here and this is a perfect way to at least for the next month, but before I ramble more lets actually talk about where the story is!

CHURCH MUD

Genre: literary fiction Setting: California (+ probably some other states? Idk I’m not American wtf is a state), 1986 POV: third person present + retrospective moments, split between twins Felix and Dorothy The Vibes: hazy summers, hot air, 3am, saltwater breeze, grainy photographs, empty roads at night, the moon blurred by clouds, arms resting out car windows, abandoned churches, telephone boxes, getting lost on purpose, cigarette smoke, dust from an old Bible Deals with: faith & the weaponization of it to control others, identity, perceptions of reality, chosen family, independence v co-dependence, free will, trauma & what it means to “let go”

CONTENT WARNINGS: religion/religious imagery (specifically Christianity), trauma, toxic relationships, inferred addiction (all updates will be tagged with these/any more specific warnings)

This is still in very early conception, in the sense of it’s existence as a novel, but it’s definitely an expansion on the ideas I had for the short story, where these two seek to let go of their past together so they can live their own, new lives, and also restore their tangled relationship that could never be fixed through letters and distant contact. When Dorothy left the controlling religious cult she grew up in, she never gave herself a chance to properly process the complicated emotions that came with that decision, or the trauma she went through, opting to cope with it by putting all her energy into building her new life and embracing her identity. Watching her brother navigate the same new, confusing path she took four years ago forces her to look back on her own experience, and the repressed memories of events that prompted her to leave in the first place. When Felix catches up with her, he struggles with the realisation that adjusting to this new life and world won’t be easy, and whilst it was the right choice, his impulsive decision has ramifications. Trauma does not necessarily stay in the place you associate it with and for Felix, it’s like seeing all of it from a birds eye view, all at once, including everything he blocked out. With his faith, his sister, and his drive to be a good person, he has hope for himself and the world, but the pain and anger he harbours will not make it easy for him. ^by no means a pitch literally just the copy paste of the quick summary I wrote for myself lmao

The most exciting part of this to me is how different, yet similar the novel feels. This version of the story isn’t necessarily happier, it’s still rough around the edges, but it’s definitely from a different mindset and there’s this haziness to it that doesn’t exist in the short story. It feels like a grainy home video that they’d never let see the light of day. I wouldn’t call it dreamlike or softer because of this, but there is this distinct tonal shift from the short story to the novel that I can only describe through the aforementioned Vibes. As I said, I have an idea of where the short story would fit into the novel’s timeline as a chapter, but they still won’t be the same. The short story is obviously more restricted to one singular event, and that turns the intensity and tension up high. This difference is also 100% influenced by the fact that the short story is set only at night (bar for some potential flashbacks), and the night plays a huge thematic and atmospheric role. Of course parts of the novel will take place at night, but the presence of daytime changes the mindset to me? In the short story it feels like they’re stuck in this perpetuate-esque night, whereas in the novel you know that the sun will always rise.

This story is also very different aesthetically, but at the same time elements of the short story’s aesthetic come into play and clash with the unique aesthetic of the novel, where they coexist, but are also in conflict with each other. As you can tell from these two moodboards where you can really see how for the second I gave up trying to make it coherent lmao:

To me there are two distinct aesthetics, and they are both very different and exist in different ways, but they are both inherently part of the story, and it feeds into this idea of perception of reality and these two realities that the twins perceive: the “outside world” and the gated world they grew up in.

The stars of the show, my favourite disaster twins:

Not fragile, but not made of stone either

Loves very hard, sometimes more than she’d like

A protective and loyal soul, especially with those she loves, but she never wants to forget to protect herself

If I’m in love with my best (female) friend, no I’m not <3

-goes to the edge of the pier and stares wistfully at the ocean so everyone knows that I am the main character-

Loves her brother more than anyone else but is struggling to figure out his new role in her life. As teenagers she felt painfully tethered to him because they were always The Twins, and she had nobody else, as adults she hopes to find a balance between their deeply close bond and their harshly different lives

Arc driven by defining your identity and then redefining it, and facing the parts of it you’d rather lock far away. Also deals with her experience growing up as a girl in a religious cult in the 60s/70s, and the relationship faith has with her feminist identity.

As of now, there’s more focus on him in the novel, since the short story focuses on Dorothy and I feel to write him from an observer perspective I need to get into his head first

Just found out restarting your life completely is hard?

Trying to be a good person, wants to be a good person, but there’s an anger in him that he hates but it’s festering and it’s growing

But ultimately he is a sweet and soft person and that’s what he wants to be in life even though it’s hard, it shows especially with his sister

I think at some point he locks himself in a cabin and? I would too

Centred around perception of trauma and v influenced by my own experiences with that, where you think things will be easier as soon as you leave that situation but really it just makes you look at everything from a distance and be like “what the fuck?? that actually happened??” (which conflicts with the fact that you KNOW you’re in a better place and you would never go back, but it hurts and it’s hard especially understanding the placement of your trauma in this new space)

I need to give this dude and his sister a happy ending for my own wellbeing. I don’t know how that’ll look but these two will get their happy endings. I actually don’t think I’ve loved two characters more and I love all my characters deeply

And I think that’s all for now! This 100% was not the direction I expected to take but I am so glad I did, and I also love the opportunity to reintroduce this story because good Lord it’s changed so much (and this instance is the most change). I also think this is the perfect Nano scenario for me, as someone who’s never done it before, there’s zero pressure on me to “win” because I don’t expect to even finish this. I’m just going to see where it takes me and see what it’s given me at the end of the month. I’m also not outlining this at all lmao, one because me and outlines do not get along but also my Preptober is just. the work I have to do for my dissertation anyway, which is reading and gathering a lot of fiction/nonfiction about cults/religion, and all the weird and unhinged takes on it. It’s very slow but it’s also fun! My uni work this weekend is literally to read The Girls by Emma Cline so I think I won here?? I also want to dedicate the rest of October to the short stories I planned to write for Nano (I was going to work on my collection).

I don’t know if I’ll do a taglist for this - I have the og Church Mud one but like I said I’m rethinking how I want to share this story and updates for this will only be regular in November so?? But chances are I will be constantly on my bullshit for the next month and a half with this story, pretty update or no pretty update

My NaNoWriMo page is here, although fair warning I have No idea how this site works, this is my boomer moment. Excited to clown about this story though!

- Chloe

#first off my fatal flaw is interchanging between Felix and Dorothy and Dorothy and Felix #second off i would die and kill for them #writing #amwriting #writeblr #writeblr community #religion /#trauma /#nanowrimo #nanowrimo 2020

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lilyhoshikawa · 3 years

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🎥💕💎

Nyanko didn’t specify so I’m gonna do this abt WKTD and u can’t stop me!!

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

I’m a basic Jupiter kinnie sadly so as expected. My favorite scene has gotta be the Red Ending 3am scene. There’s such a beautiful, horrible tension in the early moments- the anxiety and uncertainty over knowing that the least obvious among the trio is going to become the devil, the sad bargaining in lines like

“We don’t need to know who the devil is. It’s just a phase. …right?”

Which transitions into this pleading, and then

Venus: “I can feel fingers on my face and arm and everywhere.”

Jupiter: “Ahaha. Gross. I’m gross.”

And then the most iconic scene in this entire game, the most powerful and tiny act of the hair tie breaking, a piece of symbolism so small yet so monumentally significant. And then everything that follows, the entire speech.

“Don’t touch me. You shouldn’t touch me. I wasn’t born good.”

Talk abt lines that live in my mind rent free dhdjbdjd. Everyone talks about “I wasn’t born good” bc it’s a killer line and very relatable, but shoutout to some other stars:

“I can try hard, but I think… God knows my heart isn’t really in it.”

“Y’all are sweet. But don’t do that. I won’t be happy if you do.”

“I want to touch. I want to be touched. I want to hurt. I want to be hurt. And if you feel the same way, you’re as bad as me.”

“Won’t you let me feel like a real devil for a moment?”

And that’s all just. Amazing. There’s so much to say abt that from the perspective of religious guilt alone, of ppl who have experienced that unique kind of internal struggle with Christianity, let alone the compounded complications of being gay, trans, neurodivergent. It’s a really impactful scene especially for the game’s themes, bringing them all together in the perspective of your typical idealistic leader character, of the one who wants to be good the most (that’s also why it’s imperative you play this ending last).

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

I have committed the grave act of hubris in answering that first category in-depth before realizing I already elaborated on my answer for this one. Oops! Oh well.

Obviously it doesn’t take much to figure out my fave of the trio but every character is really important and I don’t wanna get caught up in rambling about Jupiter knowing she seems to be most ppl’s favorite.

All of the trio have different reactions to trauma, in particular the trauma of their world in which Christian morality is the actual law of the land. Many ppl can relate to Jupiter’s need to go along with it and to “fix herself” but I find the other two equally compelling.

Neptune isn’t happy with the way things are, she’s furious, bitter and burned. It’s criminal that the writers don’t elaborate on it more, but she’s existed for this long in a system that has already judged her bad, has already decided her very existence is wrong, and to her, it’s horrific and baffling how many people are okay to sit back and accept the same. The pain she feels watching the other members of her group suffer, trying so hard to appease a system that has already discarded them. Neptune isn’t interested in offering platitudes to a system that has already tossed her to the side, deemed her bad and irredeemable. Frankly, she doesn’t even care. What hurts her, what bothers her, is seeing other people grapple with the guilt that isn’t theirs to own, to try and fix in themselves what was never a problem to begin with. It’s like seeing a friend suffer a tragedy and blame themselves every time.

And Venus, perhaps most interesting of all, also knows that. She’s aware that the system is stacked against her and everyone else, and she’s bitter about it, but she knows nothing else. She goes along with it, and all the bullying and pain and hardship that comes with it. She isn’t deluded into trying to overturn her odds and prove herself to be good like Jupiter is, she’s apathetic, she’s accepted the hand she’s been dealt. She doesn’t fight back against her bullies because she has simply accepted their abuse as a natural part of her existence. She wants more, wants better, and has glimpses of hope that it’s obtainable- perhaps if she does what she’s told, if she doesn’t complain, if she puts up with it, one day she’ll get what she wants, what she needs to survive. But she won’t, she never will. She accepts all the hardship, all the abuse, all the confusion or a world built for and around people who aren’t like her, who can’t understand her- and she does it silently hoping things may get better on their own.

All three worst girls mean so much, have such meaningful and interesting perspectives and tell such compelling stories on personal levels which are only made more powerful by their union, by their coexistence and the vague, awkward but hopeful clashing of their disparate realities, coping mechanisms and outlooks. It’s shaky, it’s difficult, but they provide for each other what they each lack- Jupiter receive permission to be enough as she is, Neptune receives validation and companionship, and Venus receives the accommodations she needs to be her authentic self, no longer hidden. It’s really powerful, for trauma survivors and the mentally ill and for LGBT+ ppl.

💎 Are there any fun facts or trivia you would like to share?

Something most ppl may know but that I almost missed is that the original demo for the game- titled “We Know the Demo”- is actually not just a shortened version of the game or anything, but a unique prequel story that fills in some more gaps in characterization and worldbuilding, which I found very valuable for my fic “The Light God Didn’t Make.”

It includes such scenes as Neptune being secretly unstoppable at dodgeball, Venus infodumping, Neptune pointing out the fact we all know that Jupiter would look cool holding a guitar, and also Venus singing. All of them iconic bits.

The demo is free off the developers’ website and functions basically the same as the game, with picking a duo of characters to interact in each scene, so it’s a great complimentary piece to play before or after, and it’s really helpful in developing a better characterization of the trio if ur looking for that.

#oops I talked for 40 minutes oh no #meme response #thesunsetbox #rambles #wktd

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cardentist · 4 years

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I’ve talked about how the misconception of hoodie and masky as proxies clashes with the plot of marble hornets before and how the implications of them being interpreted as proxies impacts the themes of tim’s characterization and storyline. (link) that said, I’ve noticed that even people who Know they aren’t proxies still tend to interpret them as more violent or antagonistic than they really are, sometimes still interpreting them as working for or being controlled by the operator.

so ! I wrote up a manifesto rambling on about my thoughts on why hoodie and masky come off as more threatening than they actually are, on what the operator’s influence actually is, and on masky’s role is as an alter. I’m putting it under a readmore for length ! so warning for major spoilers under the cut.

as a note, this is all based on my own understanding of the series, I don’t want to have to write “in my opinion” after everything I say so I’m saying it here fjlsdk

but to start with, I wanna address the idea of hoodie and masky (and even alex) being puppeted by the operator.

troy has gone out of his way to state multiple times that there are no proxies in marble hornets specifically to counter the notion that the operator has direct control of the characters’ actions at any point. the operator can affect people’s moods, their perception of reality, but it can’t puppet people’s actions. They’re in control of themselves even if they aren’t thinking clearly or rationally.

compare jay and alex. they were both unmedicated throughout the series (for the most part), and there’s evidence to suggest that jay was affected by the operator all the way back during the marble hornets shoot (he mentions how cold he feels just like tim, and he doesn’t remember alex’s change in behavior in the present at all), but they both were in Very different places mentally. it isn’t fair to just say that alex was more Violent than jay, we didn’t see much of him pre-operator but we were meant to get the idea that he was just a normal guy, but he had a very different reaction to the operator’s influence.

likewise, brian and tim were both taking medication throughout the series and Very Obviously had different reactions to the operator’s influence (brian self isolating and giving into paranoia while tim tried Very hard to live a normal life and get better despite his lack of support).

if the operator could just control people’s actions then the differences in their personalities and environments wouldn’t have mattered. why bother creating an alter that’s less openly violent than alex was? why leave jay to be self destructive but ultimately harmless when he was vulnerable for so long? if the alters and changes in behavior were caused by a Direct influence by the operator, controlling what they Do rather than just how they feel, then they All should’ve been as murderous as alex was.

personally? I see masky as a protector that stemmed from tim’s childhood trauma. we don’t know exactly what happened for sure, like tim said we’ll never know if what he experienced was the operator or his own schizophrenia or both (or if the difference even matters), but we Do know that from his perspective he was locked in a room with a monster with nowhere to go and with no one to help him. the people who were Supposed to take care of him (his parents, his doctors) were the ones confining him there and he didn’t have anyone else in his life (brian was his first friend). that’s Plenty of reason for DID to occur naturally !

masky’s job as a protector would be to get tim (and the people important to him depending on the situation) away from danger by either fighting or running away, because tim didn’t Have the power to help himself when he needed it. moreover, that’d explain why masky tends to front in response to seizures and being Taken by the operator, it’d be to protect tim from whatever caused the pain (whether it can actually be protected against or not) And to deal with painful memories ! it’s a trauma response because masky exists in response To trauma and tim’s inability to cope with what happened to him on his own

so ! why does masky come off as so intimidating if he’s supposed to be a protector? because he was supposed to ! out of universe, the series was presented out of order with jay getting bits and pieces of what happened to slowly pull together a more complete narrative. hoodie and masky were written to Look like antagonists the first time through (in the same way that alex looked more sympathetic in the beginning), but slowly putting the pieces together makes their actual goals clearer as well as adds context to situations that made them look bad because of how they were presented in release order. this isn’t a failing of the storytelling by any means, we thought they were threatening because Jay thought they were threatening !

and well, in universe obviously part of it is that hoodie and masky are, you know, running around wearing masks and acting shady, especially when you have no idea who they are or what they want. But a lot of times their actions Seem threatening but can either be explained by them purposefully appearing threatening to try to scare jay away from danger/into helping someone Or can be explained by them being affected by the operator in the same way that jay and alex were (more on that later :3c)

this distinction is important because hoodie and masky’s whole goal is to combat alex and the operator ! the operator can make them more aggressive/act out in ways that they otherwise wouldn’t, but it isn’t making them do it’s bidding !

tbh the only thing holding me back from explaining every single instance where hoodie or masky come off as threatening is my own thinning self control, but the fact that I haven’t yet means that I have limited examples jlksfd. that said ! I can think of a couple!

the most obvious example of them being threatening on purpose was entry ####, when hoodie and masky stopped speaking in codes for the first time and made an overtly threatening video saying in no uncertain terms that they were coming to “get” jay just before the season 1 finale. They even posted it on His channel so he couldn’t ignore it. they Knew alex was going to go after jay, but they also knew that alex was watching him and watching them. if they warned him that alex was the one coming for him then alex wouldn’t make his move and would wait until jay was vulnerable again (plus the risk of him just not Believing them since at this point he had no reason to think that alex was truly dangerous). so they made Themselves the threat and scared jay out of his apartment before alex could burn him alive in it.

an example of them appearing threatening because of Circumstance and how the story was told is actually one series of events split up into several parts ! chronologically it starts with entry 52. alex invites jay and jessica into the woods, holds them at gunpoint, and tries to shoot them only to be tackled by masky. jessica and jay manage to run away and meet up at a hotel only to be tracked down by the operator. jay tackles it and he and jessica are knocked out and have their memories wiped.

then jay wakes up in entry 27 with no idea what’s happened, and posts about exactly that to his youtube channel. both alex and totheark have been paying attention to jay’s channel and they both find out that jay and jessica are vulnerable at the same time. they don’t know exactly where jay and jessica are right off the bat, but jay made it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere. so it’s a race against the clock to see who can get to them first while not drawing any unwanted attention.

finally it’s jessica’s disappearance, split between entry 33 and 76! jay has Just posted about how he’s gonna leave with jessica to try to figure things out, and hoodie and masky both know that if alex had already found the hotel then that would’ve push him into action. So that’s what leads to 76 with hoodie and masky grabbing jessica to try to get her out of danger. masky carries her down the stairs and then sets her down outside before heading back into the hotel.

Cutting to entry 33, that’s when he confronts jay in his hotel room. At the time it Looked like he was attacking jay because we didn’t have the context, but this was Immediately following him trying to save jessica and him Successfully saving them from alex shooting them. Moreover, he didn’t actually try to hit or overpower jay (and considering he just finished carrying a grown unconscious woman over his shoulders down the stairs he definitely could’ve).

What’s more likely is that hoodie was going to carry jessica to safety while masky carried jay, and he only Didn’t because jay was conscious to fight him off. (why jessica was unconscious probably has to do with why jay and jessica lost their memories in the first place and why jessica didn’t seem to think anything was off at the end of the series, that’s to say that slenderman wanted alex to get to them and was likely thrown by hoodie and masky’s presence). masky was hauling ass because he was trying to get to jay before alex did and he was taken off guard by the fact that jay wasn’t out like jessica was !

so then back to 76! jessica wakes up and hoodie tries to help her through the woods only to get shot at by alex, alex tricks her into trusting him and tries to convince her that they’re both hoodie’s victims. when alex tries to take his second chance to kill her she grabs his gun and hoodie comes to beat his ass ! hoodie stayed close when he ran off so he could catch alex off guard ! Unfortunately the operator gets to her while they’re fighting each other off. it’s unclear exactly what happens but jessica gets taken and we see alex put his gun away. personally I think jessica was knocked out rather than shot and he was just retrieving it from her before she got taken (seeing as she’s still alive by the end of the series) though what happened to hoodie isn’t exactly clear beyond the fact that he lived.

so ! to put all of that shorter fjdksl hoodie and masky’s goal here was to protect jay and jessica from alex. masky came to stop alex from shooting them the first time and they both tracked jessica and jay down after they lost their memories because they knew alex would take the opportunity to try to kill them again. masky not being able to grab jay (or more accurately, getting throttled by jay jldsf) meant that he wasn’t there to help hoodie defend jessica against alex leading to her getting taken anyways. but it scared jay into escaping the hotel without having to encounter alex himself. That’s why jay said he understood. it isn’t just that tim had no control over his alter’s actions, it was that masky and hoodie Looked threatening but were actually trying to help. It’s just that tim had no way to know that when he found the tape originally.

and finally ! what I think is an example of masky coming off as threatening because of the operator’s influence, but specifically on Mood rather than action! This being the events of entry 61 and 62!

Hoodie wants to force jay and tim to team up, and he does so by acting as the villain to get jay to move again (while he had masky pose in front of the camera before it’s more likely that he planned and edited entry ####). He takes tim’s pills, tim goes into a seizure, the video cuts out, and hoodie tells jay to go find him. this is followed by masky attacking jay in the woods and them both waking up in the abandoned house in rosswood.

now before I say anything else, let's contrast this with jay in entry 82 and 77. jay tries to stake out the rosswood tunnel (the last place jessica was seen in the tape before she disappeared), and after not finding anything he calls tim to apologize, tell him that he understood, and to say he wanted to work with him again. He’s scared and he says that he thinks he’s seeing things, he Specifically sees the same abandoned building that they woke up in during 62 Moving Closer to him. Jay then has a seizure, the video cuts out, and tim never gets the phone call. the next time we see jay chronologically is 77, where he comes to tim with zip ties and his (piddly) pocket knife to try to “interrogate” him about jessica.

we don’t see exactly what happened to him after the video cuts out, but we know whatever it was affected his memory, made him far more aggressive and paranoid, and played into his anxiety and fears notching them up to 11 (like him shouting that it “wouldn’t have been (his) fault” when tim says that jessica is gone playing into the fact that jay blames himself for losing jessica when she was one room over).

it’s the exact same situation with masky. 61 and 62 follows tim and jay’s blowout in the parking lot and jay sharing tim’s medical records online. at this point tim had a lot of anxiety and frustration surrounding jay. so when masky woke up after tim’s seizure, shaken up by the operator, he saw jay as a threat to tim’s safety in the same way that jay saw Tim as a threat keeping him from finding jessica. the operator is Most Likely responsible for teleporting them both to the abandoned house and teleporting masky specifically to the woods !

the operator causing aggression is pretty much a constant ! though how much a specific person reacts to it depends on the situation, the amount of exposure they’ve had and how recent it was, and how much Help the person has access to (like medication, support, and solidarity). alex became an Extremely aggressive person, and it wasn’t just because of the stress of the situation. he self isolated and didn’t have access to medication. he fell into paranoia and catastrophizing, deciding that everyone around him either deserved to be mercy killed to save them from the operator or saw them as a threat spreading the sickness to other people.

That’s why he went easier on jay at first. He was trying to kill him from the beginning, but he tolerated more from him because he saw jay as someone that needed to be saved from his fate. It isn’t until his mental health declined even further and jay continued to get in his way that his attitude changed, giving us who he was at the very end.

we also know that audio/visual glitches are signs of the operator, and you’ll notice the audio glitching when people yell Throughout the series. the three standouts for me being alex yelling “I’ll kill you” after hoodie and masky try to smash his head in with a rock, tim yelling “but what if I’m right” while he’s spiraling thinking about how he could’ve been the cause of all of this while telling jay about his backstory, and jay yelling “I need it” after tim refuses to leave the camera for him when jay is zip tied on the floor.

the operator causes paranoia and aggression as a baseline, it just affects everyone to different degrees at different times depending on their access to help and how direct the operator is being with its influence, hoodie and masky are no different !

that doesn’t make their actions Okay, alex isn’t off the hook for Murder, but it does make them all Victims and it does mean that they deserved help (think back to tim offering to help alex during their final confrontation, even after everything).

All of that to say ! while hoodie and masky come off as threatening, their overall goals are to be helpful, they just tend to act extremely because of the situation they’re in on top of dealing with the same operator-influenced aggression and paranoia that everyone else is trying to manage. This is only emphasized by the method of storytelling deliberately obscuring the order of events to make them appear more threatening than they really are on top of their own attempts to scare jay out of harm's way.

I’ve gone on just, frankly way too long. so ! if you’re interested in more meta about how mental illness ties into the core Themes of marble hornets as well as misconceptions in the fandom (and specifically some dunking on night mind’s masky theory jlkfsd) I have a google doc where I’ve been just, chewing on it here (link)

it’s written like it’s laying out points for a response video that I’m frankly never gonna make, but I’ve been putting off making a post about it instead for This Exact Reason (this post is just over 5 pages in google docs jlkfds). and if you’d like to do more research on DID and OSDD there’s an Excellent playlist with resources ! the uploader has OSDD and they have other playlists as well that are worth checking out too ^^ (link)

#marble hornets #slenderverse #creepypasta #masky marble hornets #tim wright #hoody marble hornets #brian thomas #alex kralie #jay merrick #meta #I don't know what the tags for this should be so I'm just throwing everything at it jklsfd #reposting this so more people can actually see it #it's way too long to keep it to replies jlkfsda

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snkpolls · 3 years

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SnK Episode 70 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 76 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

RATE THE EPISODE 74 responses

Although the response to this week’s episode was still overwhelmingly positive, with 95.9% of responses giving the episode 3 or higher, it was a bit lower in comparison to the previous one.

Epic

Very amazing a 💯/10✊

I loved it, as always

Gabi episode? NO BUENO.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING GABI AND FALCO MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 74 responses

Gabi and Falco’s escapades took up the vast majority of the episode, so we wanted to know which one of them was your favorite. An equal amount of respondents (28.4%) seemed to prefer either the moment wherein Gabi came under attack from that perfidious horse or Kaya remembering Sasha and how she saved her life years ago. Closely behind those (25.7%) are the folks preferring the argument between Gabi and Kaya. Another semi-popular option was the scene wherein Kaya showed Gabi and Falco her former village.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS FOCUSING ON OTHER CHARACTERS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 73 responses

We also had a fair bit of scenes focused on characters besides Gabi and Falco. For this question, there was a rather noted diversity in opinions. 24.7% seemed privy to seeing a recurrence of Mikasa’s headache and the flashback to Eren’s killing of the traffickers. 15.1% were most interested in seeing Hange remember Sannes’ warning about the cycle. An equal number of responses (13.7%) were most interested in either seeing the discussion between Magath and the rest of the Warriors on their further actions or seeing Hange confront Floch and the rest of the recruits about their recent actions in regards to Eren. Finally, 11% said that their favorite moment was either seeing the conversation between Mikasa and Louise or the conversation between the warriors and shirtless Reiner. A few folks also indicated their enjoyment of the scene wherein Hange was heckled by the civilians or the conversation between Pixis and Yelena.

WHICH FLASHBACK HAD THE MOST EMOTIONAL IMPACT FOR YOU? 73 responses

We’ve had a few small flashbacks in this episode and it seems like the definitive majority (58.9%) enjoyed the flashback about Kaya getting saved by Sasha. 26% were most privy to seeing Mikasa remember Eren killing the kidnappers many years ago and 13.7% enjoyed seeing Hange remember Sannes’ warning. One person liked catching the sight of Mikasa’s actions in Trost.

RATE JEAN’S OUTFIT 73 responses

Jean decided to try out a new style, courtesy of Coco Chanel, the Paradis Collection. Not too many were impressed, however, with only 34.8% giving Jean’s fit a 4 or a 5. 24.7% gave it a 3, the rest gave it a lower score.

WHO WERE YOU MORE EXCITED ABOUT TO SEE SHIRTLESS? 72 responses

It looks like Eren won this round when it comes to the showdown of AoT’s rare fan service scenes with 75%.

AOT men are immaculate

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO TALK TO YELENA? 73 responses

Yelena looks to be a rather popular girl, with 53.4% of respondents noting that they would totally appreciate an opportunity to talk to her. 23.3% aren’t sure and 11% really wouldn’t, in contrast. 12.3% simply don’t care.

WHICH NEW DETAIL DID YOU GET MOST EXCITED ABOUT? 72 responses

For this question, we got a rather colorful pie chart. 26.4% of respondents stated that the existence of a flying boat fueled by iceburst stones is the most interesting detail. That was followed by, in order from more interesting to less interesting according to the poll takers, Blouse family’s involvement with Historia’s orphanage, Yelena making contact with Eren beforehand, the girl Sasha saved in Episode 2 of S2 being Kaya’s identity, the confirmation that Louise was the girl Mikasa saved back in Trost and fact that Floch and his co-minded folks leaked information about Eren to the press and the existence of Eren’s “home”.

GABI SPENDS A LOT OF THE EPISODE SPOUTING OUT THE THINGS SHE’S BEEN BRAINWASHED TO BELIEVE, A CONTRAST TO FALCO WHO IS MUCH MORE OPEN-MINDED. THOUGHTS? 72 responses

Gabi shouted out a lot of questionable things in this episode, at various points. We’ve asked how the respondents felt about it. The plurality, 37.5% simply saw it as a rather sad state for her. In contrast, 27.8% were actually annoyed with her for that. 16.7% thought that it might have been, perhaps, a result of her attempting to fool herself. We also received a lot of write-ins.

Gabi's IQ is a bit low or she has been brainwashed harder than others

I think it’s just hard for her to see it any other way because she is so young. She was starting to be shaped like reigner, Annie bertholdt.

I understand why she acts like that. Doesn't make it any less annoying tho

I feel so bad for her. Marleyan propaganda and indoctrination is one hell of a drug

Gabi sucks and she just is a trash character

She's just a kid trying to deal with a lot of trauma and new contradicting information whilst also having a winning attitude. Her negative feelings toward Eldians is familiar and so constant hatred is just a coping mechanism.

It only makes sense for her to act this way. Falco and Colt had to join the warriors unit to redeem their uncle’s crimes as part of the restorationists. Gabi has been praised and fed false propaganda her whole life, so yes she would have a harder time rejecting her race’s past history. Children are easier to manipulate/brainwash than adults.

I think she’s clinging to what she knew because she had based her whole identity and goals in life off of these facts. Admitting that these things might not be true would be like denying who she is?? Y’know

Immovable object (my hatred for Gabi because I find her annoying and she killed Sasha) vs unstoppable force (me recognizing she is a child in a traumatic situation who has been brainwashed and raised to believe she must atone for things she is not actually responsible for)

A bit annoying, but I'm hopeful that she will slowly change her mind. Maybe due to realizing Sasha was actually a good person through Kaya/seeing she's no different from them?

HOW DO YOU THINK GABI’S BELIEFS WOULD HAVE DEVELOPED HAD SHE BEEN THE ONE TO MEET EREN INSTEAD OF FALCO? 73 responses

An interesting what-if comes about when thinking about Gabi possibly meeting Eren instead of Falco all those weeks ago and how that would have impacted her personal beliefs. A slight majority (50.7%) believe it wouldn’t have changed much, if at all as a result of that possible meeting. 20.5% think that Gabi would have taken somewhat of a middle-ground position when taking her current and Falco’s current beliefs into account. 17.8% can’t really say for sure and 8.2% don’t seem to care. Only a few believe that Gabi would have started to feeling differently back then.

GABI SEEMS TO BE GENUINELY SCARED WHEN INITIALLY EATING AT THE BLOUSE’S HOME. ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW BADLY DID YOU FEEL FOR HER? 73 responses

It doesn’t appear that Gabi has garnered that much sympathy for her near breakdown, with 49.3% noting that they really didn’t feel much, if any, sympathy for Gabi. In contrast, 50.6% said that they felt some noted degree of sympathy, mostly on a moderate scale.

It makes me sick to my stomach seeing Sasha's family just treating Gabi so nicely. I know they don't know she's Sasha's killer but I'd really like to see them go horror-flick on her ass and kill her when they learn the truth

THERE SEEMS TO BE A CLASHING OF IDEOLOGIES BETWEEN HANGE AND FLOCH REGARDING WHAT’S BEST FOR THE ISLAND. WHO WOULD YOU SIDE WITH IN THIS SITUATION? 72 responses

Floch states that Eren ensured Paradis a path to survival via the ability to initiate the rumbling, while Hange shows skepticism that the rumbling is even a probable solution to their problems, feeling they should secure their freedom in other ways. 52.8% seem to feel the same way that Hange does, while only 27.8% would take Floch’s side in this differing of views. 12.5% think neither of them are wholly correct and feel there are other options.

Both should co-operate

Fuck ever agreeing with Floch. Who is he to even question their authority. Sit back buddy, relax, have a breather. You only became a main character this season, nothing bads gonna happen if wittle baby ewen is in jail for COMMITING WARCRIMES and forcing his superiors to cater to him. That's lit-rally how the army works.

I want to say I side with floch, but I don’t trust eren.

I don’t know for sure

I think they're both right in their own way.

dont like floch lol

Wish Gabi would've shot Floch instead of Sasha :/

REGARDLESS OF YOUR ANSWER IN THE PREVIOUS QUESTION, DO YOU THINK EREN DESERVED TO BE JAILED? 73 responses

Nearly 55% of respondents feel that Eren absolutely deserved to be jailed for his actions in Marley, regardless of how they answered the previous question. Only 35.6% feel that he was wrongfully locked up.

Jailing him is just tradition at this point

idk

Yeah. You fuck up and you do the time. If you want to make decisions and live 'freely', don't become a soldier. Simple???

Eren did some war crimes, time to sit in the time-out box

He definitely needs to be observed and perhaps questioned, but not jailed. I thought that wasn't really a great move.

I don't know

How many times has Eren been in jail now? He's obviously not gonna be staying there for long

Reprimanded a little bit for not trusting his team, but didn't deserve jail

DO YOU THINK HANGE IS FALLING INTO THE CYCLE THAT SANNES WARNED THEM ABOUT? 71 responses

Hange remembers Sannes’ words about how someone always steps into the role he once played prior to the Uprising Arc. 67.6% feel that Hange, whether intentional or not, is falling into the cycle that Sannes and his comrades perpetuated for years before them. 19.7% feel the opposite, however, and believe that Hange wouldn’t let things get that bad.

I don’t know why I can’t remember who sannes is rn.

yes but i feel like she will realize this and try to change

I can’t say yet

Yes, to a degree but this doesn't mean they've past the point of no return. Everything the previous government did could have started with good intentions similar to Hange now but those intentions eventually morphed and corrupted.

i dunno

Maybe i'm not sure only time will tell

I think that can't be said for sure until we see how she acts/responds to this realization

Maybe

LOUISE SEEMS TO ADMIRE MIKASA TO THE POINT OF OBSESSION, BUT HOW DO YOU THINK MIKASA FEELS ABOUT HER? 73 responses

Half of respondents feel that Mikasa’s demeanor toward Louise stems from her feeling as though she can relate to the girl in some way. The remainder of responses were rather mixed, with 15.1% feeling that Mikasa simply feels sorry for her, and at a tie for 11%, either feel that she finds Louise annoying or is just generally indifferent toward her.

WHAT DO YOU THINK SEEMS TO BE THE TRIGGER FOR MIKASA’S SUDDEN HEADACHES? 73 responses

Mikasa’s headaches, while they don’t get much of a focus, tend to happen infrequently throughout the series. Though, her headache in episode 70 appears to be a bit more traumatic for her than ones we have seen in the past. 27.4% feel that these headaches are likely related to her Ackerman biology, while 20.5% think that it can be explained as simply PTSD. 15.1% think that it’s her “Eren sense,” so to speak. Small handfuls feel it’s something more related to Paths/The Coordinate, or a mixture of her Ackerman and Asian biology. 21.9% still aren’t really sure what to make of these. Will Isayama give us answers?!

the wine has to have something to do with it????

It's those damn ~PATHS~

HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN THE HORSE BIT GABI? 72 responses

The horse gets the gold start this week for giving Gabi a little bit of karmic justice. 65.3% appeared to enjoy the little misfortune Gabi had to endure thanks to the horse’s shenanigans. 19.4% agree that this was surely the work of devils! And 15.3% felt genuinely bad for Gabi during this moment.

Horse !!!!!!

Wish that horse would have bit Garbage's head off xD

Horse got some revenge for Sasha! Here's hoping someone ot something else will finish her off permanently!

*falco voice* GAAAAAABIIIIII

Thank you Horse-kun!

WE ASKED THIS A FEW WEEKS AGO, BUT WE WILL ASK YOU AGAIN. WILL GABI CHANGE HER VIEWS ABOUT THE PEOPLE ON PARADIS? 73 responses

56.2% of respondents feel confident that Gabi’s views of Paradis will change by the conclusion of her character arc. 12.3% are still adamant that nothing will be able to sway her views. The remainder continue to be uncertain.

I hope gabi changes her views. But she seems pretty set

I don't honestly know if Gabi will change her views, but killing Sasha was enough to make me ALWAYS hate her no matter what kind of development she may get

Will Gabi change? I don't know but I don't care. Nothing will undo her killing Sasha.

DO YOU THINK GABI AND FALCO WILL BE ABLE TO GET HELP FROM NICOLO? 73 responses

Kaya mentions that they will be eating at a Marleyan’s restaurant and believes that said Marleyan (Nicolo) will be able to help Gabi and Falco figure out a way to return home to Marley. Nearly half of the fandom feel that they won’t be successful in getting any help from Nicolo, while only 13.7% think that he will be able to do something for them. 31.5% didn’t want to make a call either way.

REINER IS DETERMINED TO GET TO PARADIS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO SAVE GABI AND FALCO. DO YOU THINK THE WARRIORS WILL BE SUCCESSFUL IN RETRIEVING THEM? 72 responses

Over half of the fandom (65.3%) doesn’t have much faith in the Warriors to successfully retrieve Gabi and Falco. 20.8% feel the opposite, however, and think that their urgency is warranted. Will they get to Gabi and Falco in time?!

epic laina

WHICH QUESTION INTRODUCED IN THE EPISODE ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING ANSWERED? 73 responses

With every AoT episode, we get as many questions as we do answers. This episode is not an exception. Majority of the respondents (53.4%) are interested in getting answers for all of them (What did Yelana talk to Eren about, what is up with Mikasa’s headaches, what is Hange going to investigate and why is Shiganshina being evacuated?). Out of the all of those, the Yelena-Eren convo is the most popular one.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Gabi sucks so hard, she should be much more harshly punished for killing Sasha

The scenery was beautiful!! I'm hoping we get some action soon tho

MAPPA created some beautiful imagery this episode, like the scene with Falco and Gabi at the lake so was gorgeous! Also I wanna honk Reiner's tiddies

babies, my babies.

Gabi sucks

Doesn't really stand out, but I much preferred the pacing of this episode to the last two. I better see some damn rumbling next ep, we're getting straight edged rn with that ice plane. I absolutely FUCKED with seeing Louise do the little salute, brought back memories of simpler times.

Gabi is garbage

I loved the episode! Beautiful callbacks to so many previous set-up/storylines. It made me reminisce a bunch. I also hope for a bit of catharsis regarding Sasha's death by the hands of Gabi. Hopefully something will click and Gabi will realize that she may be wrong in her beliefs after realizing the person she killed (Sasha) is savior Kaya had described to her. While I don't hate Gabi, I also wouldn't mind a bit of karma going her way either.

I think this is definitely one of my favorites so far. There's a lot of interesting new pieces of info, and I'm excited to see how this stuff resolves in the end.

I hate Gabi even more

I hate Gabi SO much

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 73 responses

Thank you again to everyone who participated!

#snk poll #snk polls #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #snk s4

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blackboxtheatrecrew · 3 years

Text

Heyy everyone 👐

So I got to meet our DID specialist today! I was like, really uncharacteristically nervous?? But i came out of it being really glad that I did it. So she thinks we are pretty integrated as it is (i.e. we are able to share a lot of memories and we are able to function as a system), although we still have a long way to go because different perspectives and identities can obviously clash in here, and not all of us are coping in a healthy way. We also could work on our teamwork probably 😅. I guess it's nice to hear that we seem to be doing pretty well with things though! I guess that makes us high-functioning DID? 🤷‍♀️

We also got to talk about the harmful effects of fake-claiming in the plural community, and it was really reassuring to talk about. From the way I see it, she's very accepting of disordered plurality that doesn't fit tumblr's cookie cutter view of DID. She also basically even shut down the idea that all forms of systems come from trauma at an early enough age before personality has a chance to merge/integrate, because apparently, your personality is already developing even at birth!

So for all of you out there doubting your plurality? You're valid! It's okay if you are, and it's okay if you figure out you're not. I accept you; we accept you. Your journey is your own and don't let anyone take that from you. 💯💯

And to all the haters? Get a hobby that isn't sizing up other people's systems! You're sad 😂😂

⭐Hailey

#parts therapy #actuallydid #actuallytraumagenic #actuallyquoigenic #syscourse #⭐

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sunflowersseemhappy · 4 years

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main 6 with an apprentice who’s blind? also, i hope you have a lovely day!

Thank you anon for the request, sorry it took so much time but I was melting in the heat here and had a bit of writers block. Despite that I have had a lovely few days since I got your request!

I really hope this is alright, obviously take it with a grain of salt as I am not blind and have no clue what other people who are blind go through.

This is more based on an apprentice who wasn’t blind before resurrection but it could be either way. But I think it makes sense for the Apprentice (as the Fool) to be blind due to the classic card in tarot... (but I won’t get into that now!)

As always I hope you enjoy! REQUESTS ARE OPEN and up next is;

Main 5/6? react to an Apprentice who is trying to cheer them up about their histories by talking about their own history with Lucio. (A better title to come.)

Asra

Some of his travels involved looking for treatments, never really gave up looking for something or someone who could help you.

Begged the Magician to help restore your sight, it was hard enough you no longer had your memories but without your sight Asra didn’t know how you would cope.

Baby proofed everything, all the furniture is nailed down and the heaviest items are on the lowest shelves, he put railings on both sides of the stairs and did consider putting the bedroom downstairs.

Faust is now a guide dog snake, she takes her duty very seriously but her warnings can come a little late because snake’s vision is slightly different.

Placed magical runes around the city so you could find your way, it took him a while but they work well and act with your own magic

Hired a caretaker at some point, who was great but as you learned you didn’t seem to need the help as much.

Removed all the doors (except those that lead outside) so you wouldn’t walk into them, though you still fumble with the curtains he put up on them instead.

Enchanted a mirror to check in on you while he’s away, he can see and speak to you if needs be.

Hummed or sang songs when you were frustrated with your impairment.

Considered not teaching you magic, but couldn't bear to deny you that part of yourself - so he taught you to use it to strengthen your other senses.

Lets you know when he wants to touch/kiss you, because he’s so light footed he’s surprised you one too many times.

Was and still obsessed about you touching his face to let you know what he looks like, needless to say you are obsessed with how fluffy his hair is. The both of you just sit there opposite one another and he lets your hands roam over him, he was so pleased when you asked him if he wanted to do it to you.

Finds it hilarious that the clothes you wear often end up gaudier than his own and clash terribly. He always lets you know and helps out if you need it.

Everything is a mystery when it’s placed in your hands by Asra, a potion bottle? Tea? Faust? No matter how many times he does it Asra always forgets to let you know what he’s giving to you. You just stand there and try to work it out.

Knows that you use your blindness to get out of chores, but he just loves you too much to confront you.

Nadia

She looks for possible treatments, but doesn’t let you know. She doesn’t want to get your hopes up, there’s nothing worse than false hope.

Nadia’s both a countess and a princess, she has some major pull so surely she could find something? However her efforts are as fruitless as Asra’s but she is determined to make you as happy as possible.

You can’t see her face but when she realised she could not do anything she cried right in front of you without you noticing.

Asks you if you wish to have a handmaid/foot servant as your guide/helper (like Portia is to her), if you say yes she will personally hire them and make sure they are the kindest person she can get.

Got all of the palace labelled by the doorways

Made your room minimalist and very cushy

Searched for braille books you could read, it was a nice gesture but you hadn’t learned it yet so the two of you learned it together.

Chandra became your silent watcher, at first she was very unamused at looking after you but after a few good pets she’s glued to your side.

Makes sure the palace is kept impeccably clean.

Do you want a guide dog? Because she’ll get you one or even three.

Some of the courtiers, not naming any *cough* “Valerius” *cough* may make some rude comments and Nadia may imply that if they don’t apologise their tongue may find it’s way out of their mouth...

She buys you delightfully tasteful clothes, but when she gets around to describing the colours you get confused because Asra just used the simple terms like blue. “There are egg-shell’s on this?!” She laughs and realising her mistake she takes the time to describe the variations of colours to you (like so).

At least her surprises for you always stay a surprise.

She finds it quite endearing that you wake up and never really have much care for what you look like, but she does insist she at least brushes your hair so it’s not sticking up in places.

When you ask to ‘see’ her by touching her face she forgets herself and nods (before realising you didn’t see that and saying yes), she is very flustered when you tell her she’s pretty. Other people have said it, but something about you touching her face and finding out in your mind what she looks like is different...

Very gentle when touching you, her hand often slips into your’s when you are unaware but it never makes you jump. A lot of the time it’s like you can feel her presence as she enters the room.

Guides your lips to where she wants you to kiss, always with a gentle touch.

Julian

He tried so hard to use his mark to take away your blindness, so much so he actually passed out from the effort. You were very scared and didn’t want him to try again, you lied about seeing him for a brief second.

In his own mind Julian wants so badly to heal you, he’s a doctor and that’s his job! But he can’t, it feels worse than when he tried to cure the plague.

He may not be able to heal you but he’s had experience with others who were blind, he makes your life so much easier.

Tried out giving you a white cane to figure out what was in front of you, you may have accidentally hit him in the shins a couple of times.

A lot of supervision, it’s not that he doesn’t trust you its just that he’s seen you pick up flour to put in your morning coffee one too many times.

Tries to cook (empathise on tries).

Lets you know what his expressions are when he’s talking about things, very good at communicating his thoughts and feelings.

Malak takes advantage of the situation, stealing any shiny objects when Julian’s out and you (obviously) can’t see. After a precious possession went missing Julian climbed up into the rafters to steal them back.

He shoulder bumps you, just to let you know he’s there if you need him. Although you sometimes get confused and apologise thinking he’s a stranger that just passed by.

Finds it adorably cute when you apologise to an inanimate object that you bumped into, his face just says ‘gods I love you’.

Very needy and wants you to touch his face all the time, he’ll just grab your hands and place them on his face. You’re very confused about the eyepatch. He loves it when your hands find his lips and trail down his chin, he just melts.

Within reason he jokes around a lot, his favourite thing to do is to stick his very cold hands down the back of your shirt and make you jump.

Absolutely loses his s**t when you make blind jokes to people who are completely unaware (ie. “Look at this!” “I would but my eyes don’t seem to be co-operating right now.”)

Muriel

Muriel knows that Asra tried everything to restore your sight so he’s very aware that if Asra, the most powerful and wilful person he’s ever met can’t help you, then he can’t do much else.

He even says it outright to you. Sure he’d want to try and help you but that’s just not something he’s able to do, but you would appreciate his honesty.

He’d make up for it through all his actions, and to be honest that is all you could ask for (at this rate it’s a breath of fresh air not being poked and prodded and slathered in ointments and tonics).

Muriel found you smacked your head on the door frame/beams of the hut one too many times (he used to do it a lot but he came to expect it). For you he pads them with fur lining, or just does some heavy lifting and prop them up higher.

Gave you a rune that rumbles when you’re about to smack into something (kind of like echolocation but magic)

Inanna is such a doll, she lets you gab the fur between her shoulders and guides you wherever you ask. Often escorts you back to the shop if Muriel can’t

Speaking of which, although he doesn’t like it Muriel will brave Vesuvia’s streets to make sure you get back to the shop in one piece.

Whittled you a cane, he made sure he didn’t get hit in the shins.

Although he can get a bit flustered at physical touch, he’ll always hold your arm if you want him to. Heck he’ll carry you if you ask.

Makes a sound/word, taps you before touching you, he’s a big guy and although he knows you don’t mind he really doesn’t want to scare you.

Takes you out and describes the places in the forest you visit, he really likes to describe the animals to you because your reactions are awe-struck.

When you asked to ‘see’ him he was confused, but when you described it he was hesitant. It’s one thing people seeing him and another people touching him, but your face is so innocent and he knows you don’t mean to make him uncomfortable. So after mentally preparing himself he sets you on the bed and sits in front of you.

His eyes were closed as your hands roamed his face but he let out a sigh as you traced the shape of his face and ran your fingers over the stubble of his cheeks and chin. He actually enjoyed it. Until you let out a shocked sound at the feel of his scars, “What is this?!” He very stiffly answered what and why they were there You then apologised profusely.

He can be deviously quiet without meaning to be so it’s a shock when you realise he’s been behind you the past ten minutes.

Makes you carvings of animals when you want to ‘see’ them too, you gave them names and called the wolf Mini-Inanna and the bear Muriel, because of reasons...

Portia

Feels very much the same way as Muriel does, at the end of the day she’s a servant not a powerful magician, a wealthy count or a skilled doctor like her brother.

Her main focus is to make you happy despite your blindness, it doesn’t have to change anything about your lives.

That being said if she heard about a magical object from one of Mazenkalias stories that could grant wishes or something she’d be on the next boat out of Vesuvia with you to make an adventure out of it.

Quickly realised she needed to hide the good china after knocked a tea cup over and off the table.😂

Put a bell on Pepi’s collar so you don’t step on her.

Pepi picked up fast that if you were going to sit on the chair she was on she’d have to mew or get out of the way! She forgives you and has on a few occasions raced to meow at you to let you know you might trip over something on the floor.

Learned braille with you when Nadia sent you some books after Portia told her that she wished you could read the books she had.

She makes you tons of blankets and pillows that have embroidered accents for something to fiddle with while you’re bored.

Always has a first aid kit handy, her cottage is messy and full of odds and ends and unfortunately accidents happen.

Created safe spaces, the bedroom and the living area are both devoid of anything apart from cushy furniture.

When Portia’s working at the palace she and Nadia invite you to escort Nadia during her duties so you can ‘see’ Portia at the Palace but be watched after by the countess.

Very giggly when you ask to ‘see’ her, she can’t stop smiling and thinks it’s amazing that you can piece together an image of her in your head. She loves it when you press your fingers to her cheeks and makes funny sounds to make you laugh too. When she mentions freckles you are awe-struck, because you didn’t know people’s skin could have them.

Accidentally remodelled the cottage without telling you, resulting in you falling flat on your face after tripping over a stool when you entered.

Also loves the blind jokes you use on others, she’ll retell them to Julian and they’ll just laugh over your comedic genius.

She’s too loud to sneak up on you so you know when she’s coming, but she warns you all the same by saying what she’s about to do. If she shouts “HUG!” prepare to be squeezed by her deceptive strength.

Once blindfolded herself and tired to experience the world like you do, fell over and hurt herself. You couldn’t stop crying with laughter as she tried to explain.

Lucio

Appalled at the thought! He feels very sorry for you and would probably try to make another deal with some demon, you have to drag him away by the ear while lecturing him on how bad of an idea it is.

It was really awkward having to deal with the healers, magicians, advisers, etc... he hired to ‘fix’ you. You actually had to give him a few stern words and ease him down, the determination is appreciated but you’d much rather have his attention than let him fuss over restoring your sight to you.

In the end he’s glad you did because it was only then he got to love and dote on you the way he wants to.

Tried and failed to train Mercedes and Melinchor into suitable guide dogs, those two are too headstrong and stubborn (kind of like a certain count you know).

Insists on escorting you to wherever you want to go before he goes to where he is supposed to be, does not care if he’s late for a meeting so long as you are where you want to be.

Mercedes and Melinchor are actually helpful, they keep their distance but if you’re lost you’ll feel them tug at your sleeves and guide you or they’ll guard you from possible foes (e.g the courtiers).

Commissioned paintings/sculptures you could touch so you could ‘see’ the exotic places he described to you.

Stopped wearing the sharp plates on his prosthetic arm as when you touched it you would get hurt by the sharp metal.

Tried to learn braille with you but he found it super hard with his prosthetic arm as it didn’t feel things like a normal hand, but you both took your time and succeeded together.

Can’t believe you can ‘see’ him by just touching his face but lets you and asks what you think about how he looks. Has never felt more self conscious than he does now. He sit’s very awkwardly but can’t help but mumble a little as you trace his nose and up to the ridge of his brow. “You’re very handsome.” That’s enough to make him splutter a thank you.

You ask at one point to feel his stump where his arm was and he’s pretty reluctant but lets you all the same as you find out about his scars and ask him about it. Afterwards he gets cocky and asks if you want to ‘see’ anything else, you smack him on the shoulder but laugh anyway.

Actually forgets you’re blind sometimes, he’s accidentally; smacked you in the face with several objects (pillows, hairbrushes, eyeliner...), asked you to pass him his dressing robe (you passed him yours and he got trapped in it), told you to look at the cool albino turtle he got and you just deadpan said “Wow.”

He’s seen you talk to statues after brushing past them and thinking they are people.

Sneaky like Julian will definitely scare you every once in a while, jokes on him if he doesn’t dodge your hand in time. But when he wants to touch you he’ll make his footsteps more pronounced and ask you if he can give you a hug or a kiss.

#the arcana #lucio #asra #muriel #nadia #portia #julian #apprentice #julian devorak #arcana #blind #headcannon #headcanon #mc #react #story #prompts #ask #anon #requests

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