#and then we fucked for like 4 hours and it was Insane. seriously like Ridiculously good
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whoever said i date like a lesbian is right
#had like. a life changing night#we talked on the couch for a couple hours and were just totally absorbed not doing anything else#and then we fucked for like 4 hours and it was Insane. seriously like Ridiculously good#and then fell asleep in her bed for a couple hours and got up early and got breakfast cause we both had places to be#jfc it was amazing#she's so pretty and sweet and attentive it makes me brain short circuit#12 hour dateeeee
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Can I ask why doffy is your favourite? I am genuinely curious (maybe its because I am not caught up with the anime?? But I’ve seen the Dressrosa arc) but to me he is nothing but a spoiled brat thats sick in the head lmao no hate!!! I really want to see why people like him the ask is really random I just stumbled on your profile on accident but I’ve been meaning to ask someone:)
He’s definitely easy on the eyes but….
Oh god there's a lot of reasons anon.
So I'm just going to name a few and then add some information regards those.
(So I'm not ranting for hours)
1. I actually don't know all the reasons myself:
I got spoiled him so fucking early in the series it's ridiculous. But I thought he was cool and not necessarily attractive. (I mean look wise sure as shit but not like how I feel about him now)
AND THEN I GOT CLOSER TO PUNK HAZARD and the infatuation returned..
You see anon if you scroll down far enough in my blog you'll see other characters I've hyperfixated on(animes too) so while I'm probably just very hyperfixated on him..I don't think it's going away easily or soon.
2. I for some ungodly reason have a thing for very tall fucked up men. He ticks those but the amount of boxes is fucking insane.
3. Due to his many flaws(that make him perfect) despite the very profound evilness, we're quite alike in a way. (Both value loyalty,are weird with feelings and there's a few more)
4. He caught my eye. Like think about it,you don't expect a man with a goofy ass walk, weird ass coat,weirdly cool ability(that we don't figure out until dressrosa) you don't expect someone like that to be a villain and yet he is and he's fucking cool for it and good at it.
5. He's fucking massive,he could crush my head with his hand so very apparent size kink sorry anon(I'm not)
6. My fucking imagination makes him even more babygirl then he already is(seriously I get the weirdest wholesome shit about men who wouldn't hesitate to kill me for example. I get the thought of the flamingo fucker letting me squish his cheeks and call him cute and overall fucking around with his tall ass.) Now while I do know that that's out of character as fuck,it's still nice to think about.
7. He'd probably give the best hugs. I'm not even talking like in a cute way he'd fucking crush me and I'd thank him lmao.
8. That voice tho.. I didn't think I'd fall for him but then I heard the voice and knew I was doomed.
I'm called the doffy fucker for a reason anon. Overall: doffy's flawed but perfect and I want nothing more than to give him more love and affection then he'd know what to do with.
Also thank you for the ask anon☺️❤️
If you would like to ask me more questions about my doffy hyperfixation please feel free to do so. I loved writing this and it might've took me like an hour but it was fun so thank you for that and I hope I answered your question properly.
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I'm curious y'all. What are some hot takes you have on the Undertale fandom and/or the AU's and characters? I'll go first:
1. Ink and Error are the most overrated characters. (I do NOT hate them. They are really fun and interesting characters, not to mention the fact that Error is one of my favorites to draw, but the way the fandom perceives them and get overshadowed so much just ruins it. I still love them though). There are other characters that I do think are severely overrated, like Last Breath Sans, Dusttrust Sans, Zero's Insanity Sans, etc.
2. We have enough skeletons, especially Sans's. Most of the Undertale fandom is FILLED to the brim with Sans's, Papyrus's and Gaster's (if he's considered a skeleton, which he usually is) and it's just ludicrous at this point. There are SO MANY fun characters, main or side, that make Undertale what it is. We need more original/variant characters of your own ideas, or just not give Sans the spotlight every single time. AU's and solo characters would be SO much better if they weren't a Sans.
3. I seriously don't get ships. Let me clarify. I don't get why people ship characters that either genuinely hate each other, are incapable of feeling love, do not want to date or love anyone, aren't the characters actual sexual orientation (depending on the ship), or just flat out don't make sense. I feel like most of the fandom (even fandoms outside of Undertale. I'm looking at you MHA) will see ANY two characters talk to each other and if they like each other as friends, they immediately get shipped. Now I will say, that if you do ship characters, then by all means, ship them. I'm not hating on any ships whatsoever, I simply just don't get them most of the time unless the ship actually makes sense. I will say though that it is rather annoying.
4. Stop overshadowing characters canon personality, looks, abilities, etc, with their fanon counterparts. Whenever I look up an AU or character, I almost immediately see their fanon counterparts rather than their canon. I get if you want to make a character "different" for whatever it is you want, I do it too. However, it has gotten so bad to the point where people genuinely believe that a characters fanon is their canon, despite them most likely not researching for the original source. I still see people who use Underverse as "canon" evidence to a character's personality, abilities and whatnot. If it takes place in Underverse, that's fine, but most of the time it's outside of Underverse. It sounds confusing, I know, so if you have questions, feel free to ask. I just find it fucking insane and ridiculous to how much fanon has overtaken canon. I do NOT mind or hate characters/stories that use fanon, but what I DO hate is how much it has overshadowed their canon counterparts.
5. Most power scaling is absolutely fucking bullshit. They're made by people who either have NEVER done research about the character and just use what they heard or watched from animations, use their fanon counterparts, or are just straight up biased. If you ARE gonna use the characters fanon counterparts in power scaling, at least specify that it's fanon and not canon. Most of the time, characters are either heavily overplayed or underplayed, with very few actually being accurate. It would be nice if people ACTUALLY put in their research to the original source, determine who would win a battle or just analyzing the characters powers and do it right cause most of the time it's fucking bullshit and irritating.
6. I just need to say this because why not, but 99% of Undertale games on Roblox are fucking BORING AS HELL. This only includes the games where you constantly grind nonstop for souls or LV to get more characters. It's not fun, like at all. Maybe for the first hour it is, but after that, it's boring and not fun to play. I don't get how people can just do the same exact thing over and over and over again for hours and days straight without losing even a slight interest or finding it stupid and unfun.
I have several more hot takes, but since I'm writing this at 2am for some reason, I can't think of them and I'm tired as hell lol. Anyways I know I'm probably gonna get a lot of shit for this, but this is just how I feel. Plus I'm really curious as to what other hot takes people have regarding the Undertale fandom and/or the AU's and characters. If you have any questions or concerns, please ask me and I'll gladly answer.
#undertale#undertale au#gaming#hot take#fanon#canon#error sans#ink sans#underverse#power scaling#bullshit
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Hi there! I absolutely adore Xanxu's parenting adventures, but I could only find 8 & 9. Is there a tag I can check out for the others? Sorry for the bother, super excited to read it! Thank you for writing it!
Screw it hahaha that tag is not working no matter what I do about it. I'm just going to post everything that's already published here. So: sorry about the long post.
And for anybody who's interested in reading it, I'm putting the next ones under "parenting adventures au". That should be a better tag.
I hope you like it! I meant for it to be cute.
[Xanxus’s terrible bad day]
Part 1 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures
Xanxus does not, in any way shape or form, appreciate mad scientists. He spits out the blood, cleaning up the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. The other hand keeping a tight grip on his remaining x-gun. Irritated, he just keeps glaring at the toddler whimpering in front of him.
Seriously?
What the fuck!
How is this even his life, Xanxus doesn't know but he demands a fucking raise. And all the goddam alcohol. All of it. Every single fucking drop.
This is ridiculous. The enemy is dead and even Xanxus feels a little uncomfortable with the amount of blood and dead bodies surrounding a two-year-old. Or what looks like a two-year-old, in Xanxus rather uninformed opinion.
Brat picks himself up, eyes still watery and then… oh no, oh no, no, no. He makes grabby hands at Xanxus. Xanxus sneers, uncomfortable but the newly miniaturized Sawada just pouts stubbornly, stumbling on wet sticky blood as he tries to make his way to the older Sky.
Xanxus's reaction is pure instinct. He lunges forward, grabs the kid by the back of his overly large hoodie and pulls him up. Brat settles on Xanxus's hip, tiny face hidden against Xanxus's shoulder and the Wrath stands there, feeling more than a little awkward.
Alright, then, he thinks. Fuck it. So an armful of mini-mini-Sawada in one arm, a gun in the other hand. Base full of dead people who are either already dead or soon to be. Because Xanxus is through like that.
Clearing his throat, Xanxus hoists the brat up a little more and stalks out of the room. Cleaning up the base is easy enough, finding Byakuran's little note on the desk should be more of a surprise than it is.
"Have fun on your vacation! You can bond now ~ :3"
Right, Xanxus needs a raise, all the alcohol, and a marshmallow enthusiast killing season.
[Cabin by the sea]
Part 2 of Xanxus's Parenting Adventures
Finding the little cabin by the sea is easy enough with the handy map the marshmallow freak left for them. Mini-mini-Sawada is a surprisingly obedient toddler so Xanxus is still uncomfortable but at least he isn't deaf from crying fits.
The only time the brat had cried, it had been silent sad tears that managed to make Xanxus feel like an ass when the brat confessed to being hungry.
Note to self: brats need food.
So Xanxus had settled in in the little cabin, laid the brat down on the smaller bed for the night and thrown himself to his own bed, intent on waiting this shit out.
Except that he'd been woken up in the middle of the night by a toddler sneaking into his bed and now Xanxus can't sleep because mini-mini-Sawada is tiny. As in smaller than Xanxus's chest tiny and Xanxus is not a good man, he's not a kind man.
But there's a toddler sleeping on his chest, all trust and far too delicate limbs and Xanxus finds himself terrified of falling asleep because what if when he does, he moves and crushes the little brat under him? Then the brat would suffocate and die.
And yes, Xanxus could, potentially, just pick up the brat and return him to his own bed. But what if he doesn't wake up the next time the brat sneaks in? Because if Xanxus has learned something these last couple of days is that mini-mini-Sawada might be mellow but he also has a stubborn bone that won't be reasoned with.
In the end, Xanxus ends up staying awake all night, staring at the ceiling with a hand keeping the toddler in place, just in case he rolls over and falls to his death or something. He waits until the hour changes from absolutely ridiculous to marginally decent to leave the bed.
Doing stuff with a toddler on his arm is easier now that he has practice, his morning routine is no different. It's just when he reaches the point of taking a shower that he finds himself at a loss. They stink, they need to wash. Xanxus has no idea how to clean a brat and he's pretty sure that toddlers don't wash themselves.
Xanxus looks longingly at his phone and snarls, ignoring mini-Tsunayoshi stirring in his arm. "Fucking dimension without YouTube. What the fuck."
[Watery warfare]
Part 3 of Xanxus's Parenting Adventures
Xanxus decides on the bathtub for practicality. It seems like a bath would be easier to handle with a toddler than a shower. Especially a sleepy, clingy toddler. Except that the second Xanxus set the brat down, brat went absolutely fucking insane.
Watching bemusedly as the brat slaps the water around, Xanxus ignores the mess it's making on the floor and chuckles. "Yeah? Show it who's the boss, shitty brat."
Tsunayoshi just screams louder, cackling like a maniac.
"Yeah, yeah." Shrugging, Xanxus sits down on the tub, ready to wash himself. He'll clean up mini-mini-Sawada after.
Mini-mini-Sawada has other ideas, however. As soon as Xanxus settles down, the toddler reaches for him and Xanxus helps him sit beside him, lest he falls down and drowns. "What? I thought you were in the middle of a war, trash. Can't just abandon that, you know?"
The toddler just sticks his fingers in the shampoo Xanxus has just poured into his hand.
"No, that's not for you." Xanxus rolls his eyes, scrubbing his hair and ignoring mini-Tsunayoshi watching him curiously. Ok, so maybe Xanxus might be developing a bit of a soft spot for the toddler. Maybe. It's just… the brat's flames might still be dormant at this age but that doesn't change the fact that whatever is still there… it resonates with Xanxus.
And that's a relief. It is, because it means that Xanxus might not be Timoteo's but he's still Vongola enough for this. Besides, the resonance helped Xanxus get over his initial 'ew, baby' aversion and is probably the reason the brat was so quick to trust Xanxus.
He wonders if it'll translate to the grown Sawada, once he returns.
There's just something about mini-mini-Sawada, so small, so breakable and so trusting, that makes Xanxus feel a little protective.
[Shopping trip]
Part 4 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures
It takes Xanxus about a week to concede that this won't be a quick matter. Which means that they need clothes. Xanxus could, in theory, keep washing his uniform daily and it wouldn't be a problem. Except he's fucking tired of doing laundry and the brat can't keep wearing the same oversized hoodie for days on end.
He turns to look at mini-mini-Sawada, who is curled up in Bester's flank, fast asleep, and sighs. It seems they're going shopping.
Which is easier said than done. Unearthing the wad of cash and credit card the marshmallow freak left behind is easy enough, taking mini-mini-Sawada is easy as well. As long as Xanxus doesn't put him down, they're alright.
No, the issue comes from the clerk who is watching Xanxus like he's wondering whether he should seek the police on him for kidnapping. But Xanxus is still a Sky, no matter that he doesn't do the polite charming shit that Tsunayoshi and Cavallone are so fond of.
"We had a little accident," Xanxus shrugs, gruff. "He needs clothes."
Still, the clerk seems unsure until mini-mini-Sawada straightens in Xanxus's hold to point at something in the store. "Ansus! Beste! Look, Beste!"
Bester, Xanxus knows, is back in his box but he turns to look all the same. He takes a good look at the white cat plushie and laughs. "Yeah, that's Bester alright."
Ignoring the now bemused clerk, Xanxus makes his way to that rack and offers Mini-Tsunayoshi the plushie. The toddler grabs it instantly, cuddling it to his chest and Xanxus snorts, catching a look at bath toys down the ail. Well, fuck it. They're spending Byakuran's money anyway, might as well treat themselves.
"Come on, you need ammunition for your next bath."
It is entirely possible that Xanxus got a little shopping happy but he gives about zero shits, the tiny shirt with a printed 'Mini-Boss' on it is Xanxus's absolute favourite.
He buys his own clothes quickly and makes a bee-line for the cabin, mini-mini-Sawada cheerfully waving goodbye to the shopping mall.
[Nap]
Part 5 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures
What the fuck, Xanxus thinks, bemusedly. It should have been fine. The weather had been nice and the cabin has a nice piece of beach right there so Xanxus had taken the brat out and yes, maybe, Xanxus took advantage of the nice weather to take a nice nap.
But it should have been fine, Bester had been napping with the brat. Covered by the shade. And the brat never wanders off anyway. Bester would have woken Xanxus up if something had happened or handled it himself.
And yet, here they are.
Xanxus wakes up to find Tsunayoshi sitting next to a hole, definitely of Bester’s making and lapping the water from it?
He has questions, Xanxus has so many questions.
First, how did they get water inside the hole? Where does this water come from? Also, why? Bester looks too damn proud of himself, Xanxus adores him but right now, he’s not sure he trusts the liger. Tsunayoshi laps the water again, makes a disgusted face and repeats. “What the fuck?”
Laughing helplessly, Xanxus stands up, patting the sand off of his clothes. “What are you doing, you little shit?” He picks mini-Tsunayoshi up, settling him on his hip.
The brat tries to reach for Bester, “juice?”
“No,” Xanxus chortles, gesturing for Bester to follow. “That’s not juice, trash. That’s seawater at best. What the fuck.”
“Fuck!”
“Shit,” Xanxus picks up their stuff with their other hand and makes his way back inside the cabin to hunt down some juice. “Your parents are going to lose their shit over that, aren’t they?” Toddlers usually don’t use curse words, he knows that much. Then, he remembers that the father in question is fucking Iemitsu and shrugs it off.
[Tuna-fishy]
Part 6 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures
They get returned to their original universe about 4 months in, to them at least. It looks like they’ve been gone for barely a week on their own. Xanxus doesn’t care about that, he’s more concentrated on the strained little smile Byakuran is sending to mini-mini-Sawada.
“What!?” Xanxus snaps, ignoring the toddler’s face hidden against his neck. Brat is shy, that’s all.
“Aaah, yes,” Byakuran shifts uncomfortably, sending a bemused look Xanxus’s way before looking back down to Sawada. “That wasn’t part of the plan?”
“Are you fucking asking?” Xanxus ignores mini-mini-Sawada trying to share his crumpled snack and twitches, debating the virtues of calling Bester or seeking his elements on this moron.
Iemitsu, apparently, decides that’s his moment to shine. Bastard has been starry-eyed since the second he caught sight of the toddler in Xanxus’s arms. And no, Xanxus is, in no way, shape or form, annoyed by this. The consigliere steps forward, big goofy smile on his face, “Tuna-fishy! Come to papa!”
And mini-Tsunayoshi loses his shit, loses it completely. As in loud screams and tears and a grip hard enough on Xanxus’s shirt that the Wrath wonders for a second whether he’ll rip it. Xanxus reacts on instinct because he’s been looking after this tiny brat for months now.
He shifts his weight to put distance between his toddler and the idiotic blonde and points his gun directly between the asshole’s eyes. His elements react with him, of course, and Xanxus finds himself bracketed between Squalo and Lussuria, all traces of humour lost.
“What the fuck, trash?” The question is met with silence but all of them saw the way the toddler’s mostly dormant flames recoiled from the man.
Byakuran steps forward, hands up in placation. “Now, now, no need for this.” He lays a restraining hand on Sawada’s shoulder, “I do believe it might be sweet Tsuna’s nap time?”
Xanxus takes the out, pivoting from his spot but not holstering his gun until he makes it all the way to the car. The brat is still making his best impression of a limpet and Xanxus sighs, cleaning some of the tears off the kid’s face.
“Fuck, Ansus,” the brat mutters sadly into the fabric of his plushie.
“Yeah, yeah, what the fuck.”
Somewhere in the background, Lussuria coos.
[Apple Slices]
Part 7 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures.
Xanxus wakes up with a tiny brat nestled on his stomach and Bester stretched out by his side. Right. He starts the morning routine without thinking much about it before he remembers that they’re not in the little cabin by the beach anymore.
And by remembers, he means he gets forcibly reminded by Squalo breaking down his door with a “voi! Wake up, shitty boss!” Lusurria trailing happily after the swordsman with breakfast in hand.
“You trash!” Xanxus growls quietly, “if you wake up the little brat, you’re dealing with the pouting!”
Luckily for all of them, the toddler has migrated to Bester’s flank while Xanxus went around preparing the things needed for the bad and is now busy sleeping away, face buried in his plushie.
“And get more napkins,” at Lussuria's odd look he adds, "brat's a messy eater."
Though now it seems like they'll be eating before bathing which is actually more practical. Why hadn't he thought of that? Doesn't really matter, this is how they will do things now. He picks up his own plate and eats quietly, ignoring Squalo's attempts to get Xanxus to do paperwork with the ease of long practice. Only once he's done he goes to pick mini-Tsunayoshi up, settling the sleepy toddler on his lap.
Tsunayoshi is more asleep than awake but he’s docile enough. “Juice?”
Xanxus’s mouth twitches up, “yeah, sure.”
Lussuria squeals, offering him a glass and Xanxus just knows, with one look, that shit is going to get messy. He accepts the apple slice being shoved into his mouth and says nothing. Luss can deal with this shit. "It's good," Xanxus approves, giving the brat another.
Mini-Mini-Sawada bites half of it off and then promptly falls asleep, slumping bonelessly to the side. Xanxus catches him before he can fall off, caught between incredulity and laughter. "The fuck?"
(Juice)
Part 8 of Xanxus’s Parenting Adventures
Xanxus stalks into his office with mini-mini-Sawada on his hip. The Varia as a whole are smart enough to know that if he has one arm tied up in keeping the toddler in place, it means he still has one hand free to shoot them dead. “You trash,” he growls at the closest grunt, “bring me my wine!”
“Juice!” Mini-mini-Sawada adds, waving happily.
“And juice,” Xanxus adds, patting mini-mini-Sawada’s head agreeably. He lets the brat down on the floor inside his office, eyeing the paperwork. Fuck that thing, honestly.
By mini-mini-Sawada’s side, Bester chuffs gently, picking the toddler up by the back of his shirt and settling him between his paws. Mini-Tsunayoshi turns to hug the liger as best he can, happily waving his stuffed toy around and babbling up whatever comes through his head.
Toys, Xanxus decides, they're going to need those. Is two years old too young for a toy gun? Hmm… Well now he has google, doesn't he? Oh look, Timoteo's weekly ridiculous requests. He picks them up with a snort, fishing for some pencils in the drawer. "Here," Xanxus offers them to his brat, "this is your portion."
Mini-Mini-Sawada has taken to imitating everything Xanxus does. If Xanxus indulges him, it's simply because it makes things easier and no other reason whatsoever. He ignores the happy little squeal, smirking at his paperwork. When Squalo comes to pick up their finished piles, he makes a face at the brat's handiwork.
Xanxus glares, absent-mindedly cleaning the toddler's face after their snack.
Squalo just huffs, irritably pushing his hair out of his face. "Voi, FINE! Don't complain to me if they bitch!"
"Fuck that trash," Xanxus doesn't care about what they want.
"Trash!" His toddler smashes his juice box in agreement. Xanxus lips twitch. Ok, so he's a little fond.
(Strategy)
Part 9 of Xanxus's Parenting Adventures
Timoteo knows something is going on the moment that the door opens for the Varia's scheduled paperwork drop and it's not only Squalo coming through it but also Mammon and Lussuria. He has half of the Varia in his office when it usually takes months of cajoling to get so much as one other than Squalo. And even then, for this very same dropoff.
But the Varia are a lot like cats, there's no use in pushing them too much. You have to dangle the bribe and wait for them to come to you. So Timoteo doesn't show hesitation, he simply settles in to give their paperwork a quick check. There's never any blood but he does get a kick out of seeing the progressively more ridiculous fake signatures over the line with his son's name.
This time, it's a toddler’s handprint in ink so strong that some of the text is no longer legible. Timoteo blinks once, twice and then looks up at the gleeful faces of the Varia Officers. "What is this?"
"The mini-boss," Mammon begins, smug and greedy, "is living up to his name,"
Oh, Timoteo realizes, thumbing through the paperwork with new eyes and finding the sort of drawings he hasn't seen in over a decade. Iemitsu had been over yesterday, Timoteo had listened to his ramblings with half an ear but now it's starting to make sense. It hadn't been Iemitsu's usual delusions, Tsunayoshi really is a toddler now. Carefully, Timoteo picks the drawings from the rest of the papers. "Name your price."
Squalo smirks, "vacation. One week, full expenses covered, anywhere we want."
"Done," Timoteo stretches his hand, waiting patiently while Squalo looks inside his bag and comes up with a little plate. Tsunayoshi's small palm is etched on it, colourful kid's drawing decorating the outer sides, under it, in Xanxus's elegant writing, it's Tsunayoshi's name in perfect japanese.
"It's perfect."
"Whatever," Squalo snorts. "Voi, nice doing business with you." Squalo turns on his heel and walks out the door, his two tag-alongs following behind him.
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My RL gameplay (18+)
It was such a wonderful, quiet day! I While I was busy on our porch, Nico was putting on his uniform, because he has to leave now! He’s got the night watch. But then Philip came to us and suddenly stood in front of me.
When Nico was finished and came to us, he and Philip suddenly started fighting! I thought it was just RIDICULOUS! I’m even embarrassed to tell you why they fought so much. It was about fucking soccer!!!! 🤦♀️🤦♀️ You know what those two remind me of? This one Cartoon “Pinky and The Brain” One is a genius & the other insane! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 And when Ana and I were 5 or 6, we liked watching it so much, but I saw it on TV the other day too.
Philip: Hi, sweetie!
Me: Hi! 😳 How did you get in? I didn’t hear you!
Philip: N. opened the door, half....naked! 🤨
Me: Yeah, he’s changing.....He has to go! 🙁🙁
Philip: I’ll cheer you up, A.! We’ll have fun! We can go out if you want.
Me: Seriously? You want to go out with me? Like last time?
Philip: Sure! Why not? But this time its more like a....date! No weird student party.
Nico: Hey, man! What’s up? I’m leaving in 15 minutes!
Philip: Sorry, man! And when you get back, you’ll go straight to soccer?🤨
Nico: I have 4 hours in between and there I will sleep and after that I go training. And from training back to my base! There I have 2 hours break before my guard starts.
Philip: Fuck, man! It will be like old times. I mean, at the beginning, when you moved to the U-League.
Nico: Yeah, that sucks! But I’ll get through those two weeks! And what did you do?
Philip: I’ve been studying all night! And I saw this match, that we wanted to watch together, but it was a waste of time! They played so fucking bad!🥱.... Luckily we didn’t bet.
Nico: Well, the match didn’t suck that much! This fucking referee screwed it up.
Philip: Why? He didn’t make a mistake.🤷♂️
Nico: If you deal a yellow card for every little thing, you can’t expect an offensive match.
Philip: Sure, N.! 🤨😒 You’re the pro here! Right?
Nico: You always think, you know better, huh? Stop being a smart aleck!🤨 In soccer, I’m the better of us! You can’t be the best in everything! 😠
Philip: But the fact is that the match was just shit and the referee didn’t decide anything wrong!😒
Nico: But he whistled at least twice for nothing! And now stop breaking my balls, man! 😠
Philip: You want to mess with me? 🤨
Nico: Yeah, come on! Get up, P.! If you dare.
Me: You’re not serious now?
Philip: He started!😒
Nico: Your know-it-all is sometimes so fucking unbearable!
Philip: You’re gonna be late, man!
Nico: Fuck yes, I’m leaving now! And be nice to her!🤨
Philip: You bet, I will!
Me: Wait, N.! I’m coming to the door with you.
Hmm, was it really only about soccer?🤔 But I think so, because they do this quite often.
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Zeta my beloved, how are you doing on this fine evening? I've finally graduated! I immediately destressed by cleaning my room until 3 AM, so that was fun, though I slept for a day afterwards.
Anyways, I can't believe we were graced with two 1-hour long Tommyinnit streams and another hour or so on Wilbur’s! And SBI 4/4! Wow, what a great day, and not even to mention the hysterical main channel vid. Today was an absolute win.
I also love how Tommy addressed the therapy thing. What a sweet kid. He didn't want people saying he was forced into it cause of blank, and him mentioning it in the first place was to destigmatize it, so he didn't want any misconceptions being spread around. Again, therapy is poggers kids. It's incredibly brave of him to be willing to admit that sometimes you just need a bit of guidance, to hundreds of thousands of people on livestream no less, and still be so fucking positive about it in order to destigmatize it. What a fucking legend.
Also, I love the image that Wilbur is very into jusy tossing people. He apparently threw Tommy into water during the upcoming vlog with Gogy and also tackled him four times on the beach. He really is a big brother lmao. And, let's not forget that he fucking picked banger clothes for Tommy who actually quite liked them and "understands fashion" now. The Wilburfication is only getting stronger the more they meet up. Like seriously, if you compare to first meetup to the one this week, the change is crazy. Also, lol Wilbur texting Tommy the tweet about him looking like a goldfish in the theme park vlog and sending him "proof," and Tommy cussing him out but also quietly admitting it??? My crimebois heart is so fucking full rn.
God there's just so much I love about them. How they're both so touch-affectionate, with Tommy giving people hugs (both irl and in canon lol) and Wilbur in general being very aww and clingy with Tommy (Wilbur "I don't want to hug Tommyinnit" giving us THAT moment at the end). It's even funnier when you realize Tubbo is the 'touch-repulsed' one, or as in his words when Tommy gave him a hug, "What the fuck?" Or Tommy wearing lots of pastels and the shit tons of pink stuff? Softtt boiii. Both have like insane golden retriever vibes, despite their foul mouths and general vulgarity lmao.
Both are also very good at doing convincing bits. Tommy knowing George was gonna prank call him and seeing the chaos afterwards but was like lol this is funny, so suffer. The break into Wilbur’s office being a bit too. Tommy totally getting rejected by that girl. How Wilbur was genuinely trying to mess with Tommy because of how scared he was in the vlog, even though Wilbur was also scared haha. Or just the entire vlog having huge amounts of family sitcom vibes.
Wow, whoops this was long. But haven't sent an ask in a while, so hello!
(Also sidenote, I hope I sent this ask to the right person because adhd short fries my memory and I've spent a while writing.)
Hello! Hello! Hello! Congrats on graduating, that's epic, sounds like you're doing well!
And yes all the Tommy content was lovely. I greatly enjoyed all the streams, it was such a pleasure watching them all in a row. Plus that's gonna be one of my favourite mod vids I think. It started off slow but by the end it was brilliantly tense without losing its charm. The Brighton stuff looks very cool! I loo forward to any content from it.
So yeah, Tommy's way of addressing the drama was so nice. I've now seen a number of other creators talking about the drama and all of them pretty much stated the situation was ridiculous, how terrible it was for Tommy, calling out the community. Tommy meanwhile, actually engaged with it, explaining that therapy was just a good thing he recommended, not something he'd been pressured into, nor was he a victim because of it. It wasn't meant to be some defence or buzzword that came as a result of being overwhelmed. He later explains that while he is a friend of Schlatt's he doesn't agree with all of his past actions, nor support any of his offensive jokes. I think he mentioned that he doesn't want to make light of it again, though I don't recall exactly. Either way, he did apologise for causing offense and explained that he was doing fine for those worried. I'm glad he's still happy to try and be open and genuine and is trying.
Also yes, I adore everything about Wilbur and Tommy's relationship. Whether its them hanging out or doing content together. They're my favourite duo to watch, and I love all their bits too.
Ha this was a long ask, but it was fun to read so cheers!
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I've been asking around this one question for a few people now, because I like hearing what people have to say about it...
So I wouldn't mind it if you shared a list on who's your favourite (from Most to Least) from the Obey Me! Crew (Brothers & Formally Undatables)...
Also, please feel free to ramble on about why you placed them in each space...
O-oh dear-
First off, you spoil an infodumper like me too much lol (I am happy sfjsjjdjn) and I am going to go overboard (and changing the order of things) for my own pleasure.
And so...
Second off...
Gladly
Here is My List of LEAST to MOST Favorite of The Obey Me Boys ^^
That I just did on spot because I didn't have one ready because it's hard for me to rate the characters as they all have their traits and even their flaws add something good to the character but I'll be dammed if I don't enjoy deep frying my brain for fun.
Please take note I am taking this literally and all characters in here are FAVORITES, just some will be more and some less, which mean I LIKE ALL OF THEM. Yes, I have changed my opinion on a certain two characters I have said to not like, and I am not ashamed to say I was incorrect.
So let's start this off with the right foot shall we?
#12 | Diavolo
He is still infuriating I won't deny that. And I won't pity him though he is a tragic character that is so lonely he overrates any kind of affection, that doesn't know how to interact with others without exagerating, that has no one to give an oposing opinion because of his status and so it's increasingly hard for him to learn to make good decisions, and with his goal to unite the realms I could almost say he is naive. He's a bit of a puppy always wanting some pets, but as a not dog person, I don't have enough in me to be always playing, so to me an overly needy puppy can end up getting annoying, though of course, I can't help it but at least give it a few pets before going my way.
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#11 | Simeon
Yes in the end I actually liked him all along but was just in denial after I thought about it. Simeon is a good character, he's a dick even though he's an angel and he doesn't bother to be any different, he definetelly has his own set of rules he follows and I believe he would be a Chaotic Good just like me. He's well made. And as much as he is pretty unlikeable, the mystery, the questions, the fact that he has always been the same we just didn't get to interact with him much to see it, to have a naturally asshole character put down some of his walls to help us even if part out of possible self interest. And of course he's also fun. Simeon is charming, and I have come to appreciate all of him.
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#10 | Luke
A kid. A brat and a tsundere. I Absolutely love the character development and it's extremelly adorable. He's now officially our guardian angel and I love that. He was just a prick that I rolled my eyes so hard whenever I encountered him in the game and now he's just a lil' bratty brother that is fun to tease and squish the cheeks off. He's a really nice kid in the end, just previously ignorant, but still nice because he was willing to learn and change despise saying he didn't want to. I personally can understand Luke as I was pretty alike as a kid. Again, he's a nice kid I would gladly buy some balloons and cotton candy for.
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#9 | Barbatos
The number 1 buttler, he's just, a good dude l o l. He has his distance from everyone due to his position but that doesn't make him any less interesting. He is mysterious and powerful and yet he feels, so chill. He's also fun and actually has a pretty soft personality in which he knows exactly when to switch off to strict. He's a character I respect and wish existed in real life so I could be friends with (╥﹏╥).
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#8 | Solomon
Shady sorcerer is actually a pretty good guy though mildly insane. He is actually responsable (and takes it pretty seriously seeing he's basically the representative of the human realm). He's kind though again, mildly insane, and diligent. He may have terrible food but the fact he does it with good intentions is pretty adorable, he just likes to follow his instincts and be spontaneous because he likes new and exciting things. He probably has quite a bit of angst to him due to his not only immortality in not aging but also by not being able to be killed but even so it feels that, contrary to how many human immortals end, he still hasn't lost the light in his eyes and can still enjoy things and enjoy being alive, and that is most likely thanks to other immortal/long living beings such as demons.
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#7 | Lucifer
Yep. Lucifer is actually a really fucking great character, he's fond of his family, hard worker to the point of destroying himself, self punisher, elegant, pretty af, cute at times. But not exactly my most favorable cup of tea. Seeing I can see through his bullshit all his posessiveness, all his pettiness, all his actions just becomes ridiculous and annoying. And theres also a problem with the fact we always end up submiting to him, I don't want that. For every time he disrespects me I want him to kneel and kiss my feet. His pride collides with my own, and his decisions do too. But even so he is very reliable and so he has my respect for that, I do want to hug him and tell him he deserves nice things and that he can rest now this is not the war anymore you don't have to bow down to anyone anymore you didn't doom your brothers but freed them instead, but then again he makes bad decisions because he has zero braincells for emotional intelligence and that pisses me off and makes me just want to yeet him off a cliff. Yeah Lucifer, I would gladly kick you in the balls with ♡°.•love•.°♡.
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#6 | Leviathan
Surprising is it not? But it's true, I often focus on Levi due to him not only being pretty alike to me but also because he's related to many things I have been familiar with since I was born: animes and games. His anxiousness is relatable, the outcastness is relatable, the awkwardness is relatable, the obsession is relatable, the references are relatable, the infodumping is relatable. He's very relatable to me, but not my most favorite, and all because of his envy. He's a guilt tripper, and though I am long immune to it in real life due to extreme exposure to it from my family, it still is enough for his rank to go down. I still love him though, but mostly as the character that represents the thing I am most familiar with in life: myself.
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#5 | Beelzebub
Big puppy, he's the type of guy who will talk to plants. He has big and strong hands that could crush anything and yet he will do his best to handle some things gently. He's chill and non judgemental, loyal to the core. Once you win him over, you win him over, he would die for you. He is purposely childish at times and it's cute. He is amazing. I wish I could enjoy eating like he does. He's the only character I truly feel hurt for, as he is deeply inflicted by survivor's guilt and it just pains me I can't comfort him because he isn't real ಥ‿ಥ
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#4 | Belphegor
Hoh boy. The brat. The fandom itself is pretty divided on their liking of Belphie and it's understandable lol. But I personally understand Belphie. To hide hurt behind anger, hate and spite, to turn to agression to prove a point but you end up just fucking up. But the guilt and wish to fix things can lead one to giving themselves up, and so it becomes a constant battle of getting close but not too close for the sake of both parties involved. I get this boy more than I wish I ever did, and that's why he's high on the ranking. And because he's cute ngl.
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#3 | Satan
H o h b o y, another one that reminds me of myself, only it's the aftermath of the above where one bottles up all their negative feelings because being emotional is not being rational and who the fuck even wants to not be rational. Where you have no fucking idea who you are because all you know is to stomp your feet and scream for the sake of making an statement but that just proved all your enemies a point so now you turn to smarts to prove yourself. To make others angry, to make them frustrated and infuriated with your knowledge because you want to prove yourself, be reconized for who you are, to be someone and also, hopefully, change other people's ways, to make them understand they are wrong because you deep down actually want to get along with them. Yeah, Satan is high on the list, and it's also because he likes detectives uwu.
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#2 | Asmodeus
What a fucking icon he is I love him okay. It frustrates me when people use cheating as a angst prompt for him as he's obviously someone who just isn't made for monogamy, and he's pretty honest and I feel he would have nothing to hide and would talk it all out with all his partners. He's a sweetheart that works hard on daily basis and hour after hour to mantain an image, he likes the attention, he wants to be loved. If anyone mildly self centered ever told me 'I love you as much as I love myself' I would marry them on spot. Asmo is just incredibly sweet and I love all his affection and respect him for all the work he does to make a good impression and look up to that self confidence even though most of it is actually just him trying to convince himself. Also perfect example off gender is an ilusion lol.
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#1 | Mammon
Yep, our number 1, The Great Mammon, the most lovable dumbass that has been by our side from the start though with a bit of whining. This man is perfect. He has incredible self control over his powers, and as someone who used to be an angel to be able to use money all you want bro. I wouldn't feel bad either. He's our protector from start to end to the point he focuses on us instead of the queen in the Dame event. He isn't stupid just has selective focus just like me! And all the people with ADHD and many other neurodivergents. When he wants something he does is perfectly and diligently, he just needs the right push at the right time. He's the most good of all demons and even angels and he loves all his brothers deeply, he is always there to support everyone to the point of even allowing himself to be the punching bag for the sake of them not turning too much on one another. He was literally our first SSR card, our first call, our first pact, our first and the best. He IS great, truly.
#god I need to sleep#any typos are due to sleep deprivedness and I will be fixing later#obey me#obey me!#obey me shall we date#obey me! shall we date?
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No context provided recap of my reactions watching Manner of Death. Disclaimer: this will probably make no sense if you have never watched this show.
Episode 1: OMG THIS IS A LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT LOVE STORY! I don't know what's happening even with subtitles but I am liking it!
Episode 2: THIS IS MAKING ME SO ANXIOUS OMG BUN YOU ARE IN DANGER! BUN! BUN! OMG OMG I WAS GOING TO STOP WITH THIS EPISODE FOR THE NIGHT BUT I’M GONNA HAVE TO WATCH EPISODE 3 FUCK FUCK FUCK
Episode 3: They are sharing a bed people! They are sharing a bed! 📢 THIS SHOW DID THE ONLY ONE BED TROPE! It is 2am and I am having a breakdown over these two, the sounds I am making are not human Tan x Bun are hitting everyone of my favorite tropes *screams in shipper*
Episode 4: AND NOW THEY’RE HITTING ME WITH THE DOMESTICITY?!?!?!?!?!?!?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON A MURDER WHEN THESE TWO ARE BEING HUSBANDS?????
Episode 5: Is Sorn x That a thing I can ship?? I am shipping it. Tan the standards you are giving me for men are so sky high I’mma be single forever
Episode 6: AKA the episode where I gasped a lot. Also Tan omg you are such a goner for your man. Bless everyone who uploads this show with English subtitles, this ish too good.
Episode 7: Is Tan Dam? Could Tan and Bun get more married? TAN IS DAM!
Episode 8: BUN BABY I KNOW TAN LIED TO YOU BUT HE LOVES YOU 😭 WHY AM I SURPRISED BY ANY OF THESE REVEALS???!??!?! HE HAS NO BREAKS HE HAS NO BREAKS OMG OMG HE CRASHED! AAAAAHHHHHH TAN SOMEBODY IS IN YOUR HOUSE SOMEBODY IS IN YOUR HOUSE WHY DID YOU NOT TAKE HIS HOOD OFF? WHY DID YOU GIVE HIM YOUR BACK? I KNEW THAT FUCKER WAS GONNA ATTACK HIM FROM THE BACK AND IT STILL MADE ME JUMP I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING I GOTTA STOP SAYING IMMA WATCH JUST ONE MORE EPI BEFORE BED BECAUSE THIS IS RIDICULOUS
Episode 9: THEY ARE SOULMATES! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT’S NOT JUST LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, IT’S LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT WITH SOULMATES! TAAAAN! Y’ALL REMEMBER THE SPONGEBON EPI WITH THE CLAM AND THE MUSIC CAUSE I’M MR KRABS RIGHT NOW SCREAMING STOP WITH THE MUSIC! TAN BABY 😭 OMG THE TAN X BUN JAIL SCENE! THERE'S SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE WHY IS THERE SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE AGAIN! THEY ARE BEING SHOT AT! TAN WTF ARE YOU DOING???? THIS EPISODE MADE ME SCREAM A LOT.
Episode 10: Showering together! Seriously, these two tick all the boxes! When you love someone so much you don’t care they left you handcuffed for hours 😭 I AM TORN BETWEEN SCREAMING AT TAN NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING OR TELLING HIM TO GET A WEAPON. IS THERE ANY EPISODE OF THIS SHOW THAT WONT MAKE ME SCREAM OR ANXIOUS AF. BUN BREAKING DOWN OVER TAN 😭 I need this episode to end so the next one can begin and I can understand this insanity- THAT YOU ARE LOCKED AND KIDNAPPED AND YOU ARE THINKING ABOUR SORN?!?!??!?!?!??!
Episode 11: I feel like I’mma need popcorn for this one brb *makes some popcorn* okay let’s continue 🍿 WHAT THE FUCK THERE IS SOMEONE AT THE HOSPITAL WHAT IS IT WITH THIS SHOW AND PEOPLE BEING PLACES! JESUS CHRIST SORN ALMOST KILLED ME APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE! I KNEW FOR A FACT HE WASN’T DEAD YET BUN APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. LEGIT MY REACTION:
This show has scared me and made me jump more times than any horror movie I’ve ever seen. I am so used to seeing him in uniform I did not recognize Inspector M for a minute. Tan and Bun are so cute always worried about each other but poor Inspector M he on the sidelines like ‘they forgot I’m here and we got a murder to solve’ 😂 TAN AND BUN LOOKING AT SORN AND THAT LIKE TWO PARENTS THAT KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, SHOW YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME I'M A WEAK BITCH YOU CANT HIT ME WITH TWO CUTE COUPLES AND DOMESTICITY AND FOUND FAMILY FEELS AT THE SAME TIME! RUNG AND PEUD WERE A THING???? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? THIS EPISODE HAS ME GRIPPING THE EDGE OF MY SEAT AND IM NOT EVEN ON A CHAIR. WHY AM I SURPRISED BY ANY OF THIS WHEN I ALREADY SUSPECTED HER?
Episode 12: The epi I prioritized over live watching the season finale of another series I’m watching. Peud sucks!. Bun you did not have to kick that poor man in the ribs! You and Tan acting like two parents who got caught doing something inappropriate 😂 Nah, this is too easy there are still two episodes left, you can’t pull the rug out from under me this time show I’m ahead of you, I know you hiding something. THE CACTUS THAT IS GENIOUS! I like M but should he really be trusted with such a big job? Flamingo? That should be the stupidest thing yet it works I am angry at the fact that line works. CHECK THE E-MAIL. SHOW YOU GOT ME AGAIN WITH THE TWISTS AND THE TURNS I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING
Episode 13: RUNG YOU DISGUSTING *censored* Those men are vile, her sister is even worse I can’t believe I ever even thought she was in the right, Peud I’m sorry I was wrong about you- I mean you still suck, but you’re not as bad as I thought you were. This might be one of the best episodes of tv I’ve ever seen, it is heavy af it left me feeling sick and crying but it is so marvelously done and other shows need to take note because this is how you use flashbacks and convey emotion. Writers, editors, directors, actors give yourselves a round of applause cause this was a masterpiece 👏
Episode 14: HOW TAN HOW ARE YOU GONNA SAVE HIM? YOU SET THE FIRE AND YOU RUN FFS! Who did he call-INSPECTOR M! YES! KICK HIS ASS INSPECTOR M! BUT DONT WASTE ALL YOUR BULLETS ON HIM! THIS DUMB BITCH UPLOADED THE VIDEO. UPLOAD ALL! UPLOAD ALL! DON’T GO THROUGH THEM JUST UPLOAD EVERYTHING! TAN GOT BITCH SLAPPED IN HIS OWN PROPOSAL 😂 THAT PROPOSAL WAS SO OVER THE TOP AND EXTRA AND YET FOR THEM IT IS SO PERFECT AND FITTING AND ROMANTIC I KNEW IN ADVANCE THEY WERE GONNA GET THEIR HAPPY ENDING BUT I’M STILL SO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
#its been less than a week and i already want to rewatch this show#buntan#bunn x tan#manner of death#non spn#mine#this marks the beginning of my reblog spree#i've had this in my drafts since thursday
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Drabble Compilation (Trixya, Biadore) - Candy Cane
A/N: a bunch of drabbles ive written over on my side blog @sillylittlecandycane !! im accepting prompts over there if you are interested uwu here’s the list of everything in here:
1.) Trixya, half drag dance challenge
2.) Trixya, pregnant!Katya
3.) Biadore, “If I puke, will you hold my hair back?"
4.) Trixya, pregnant!Katya sequel
5.) Trixya, "You’ve been crying, I can tell."
6.) Biadore, Adore visiting Bianca in Palm Springs
1.) Trixya, half drag dance challenge
For a split second there Katya was ecstatic about being Trixie’s partner for this challenge, then she remembered she has a huge fucking crush and is definitely going to wind up making a fool out of herself. Trixie’s clearly excited though, so Katya decides she’ll try to swallow down those feelings, and focus on keeping that smile on Trixie’s face.
Neither of them are really dancers, but Trixie definitely is a country girl, so she’s somewhat more familiar with it than Katya. The older is still nervous, she’s not used to this kind of thing, not by any stretch of the imagination. She’s done choreo before, any given drag queen has, she just hasn’t had to learn it in such a short amount of time before.
After learning what they could with the instructor and are back in the workroom to practice, Trixie turns to Katya and grabs her hands. Katya stares down at them with wide eyes, just now registering she’s been dancing with Trixie.
Cute, sexy, funny fucking Trixie.
“We have so got this,” Trixie says, all the confidence in the world embodied in that tone.
Katya looks into Trixie’s eyes and smiles back, “Okay, yeah. We’ve got this.”
It’s exhilarating to have so much confidence in herself, and then to have some in her partner as well. It’s so different from what she’s used to. They’ve still got work to do to make sure they nail this thing all the way to the core of the earth, it’s just not so terrifying anymore. It feels good, it really does.
2.) Trixya, pregnant!Katya
Katya’s at the point where she is seriously regretting being pregnant. At the end of the day, it was her choice, but sometimes she thinks it was a bad one. Everything fucking hurts, she’s constantly hungry, she can’t sleep right anymore, and she is always horny. This is just the worst thing ever.
What doesn’t suck is how sweet and loving Trixie, her fucking wife, has been. Katya doesn’t think she’ll ever get over the fact that Trixie is her wife. It’s so surreal! She’s like the best wife ever. Always getting her whatever she wants or needs, even if it’s 2 am and she’s being absolutely ridiculous, Trixie is there to help her and make the best out of a sucky situation.
Katya cuddles closer to Trixie, listening to the soothing sound of the younger’s heartbeat. She’s going to have a baby with this girl. They’re growing their family and it’s just… it’s perfect.
Trixie gently tugs her fingers through Katy’s messy blonde hair as they watch some stupid Lifetime movie. The domesticity of it all is wonderfully stupid. But it’s still stupid. She feels restless, she’s unable to go out and at least dance, she wants to do something.
“I’m bored,” Katya says, frowning slightly.
Trixie giggles a little, and it’s so fucking cute it hurts, “Okay, what do you wanna do?”
“We should go bungee jumping,” Katya says, keeping a straight face.
“Yeah, and then we’ll eat live bugs,” Trixie replies with an eye roll.
Their eyes meet and they erupt into laughter, holding onto each other and enjoying the moment. Katya sighs, and lays her head back down to Trixie’s chest, frowning.
“I’m seven months preggers, there’s like nothing I can do,” Katya groans.
Trixie combs her fingers through Katya’s hair again, “That’s not true. We can still play like uh, board games? We can go back to thinking of baby names, too. Can’t do any worse than my parents.”
Katya looks up at Trixie, a content smile on her lips. At least Trixie is trying for her, which is so much better than she feels she could’ve ever hoped for. The Russian pushes herself up to kiss her wife deeply.
“Or we could…” Katya mumbles against her, a sly offer.
Trixie giggles again, like music to Katya’s ears, “Yeah. Let’s do that.”
3.) Biadore, "If I puke, will you hold my hair back?"
Adore has drunk herself stupid, or stupid-er, again. She needed a night of insane drinking, and boy did she get it. Everyone is looking at her like she should be at rehab, but she doesn’t fucking care. A broken heart can’t be mended with alcohol, but it can be forgotten, at least for a little while.
She downs another shot, and out of the corner of her eyes she sees Detox and Willam laughing at her, while Bianca looks incredibly exasperated. Adore groans and lays her head against the counter, she feels awful and it definitely isn’t just her broken heart.
“B…” she mumbles, lifting a heavy arm to poke her friend.
Bianca rolls her eyes but looks down at her anyways, “What?”
“I don’ feel so good…” she whines, her words slurred.
“Well that’s what happens when you drink more in three hours than Willam does in one night,” Bianca snaps back, the disapproval in her voice strong.
“I’d be offended but you make a good point,” Willam says, giggling.
Adore huffs and stares at her bright red wig and the way it’s sprawled out in front of her. It’s one of her favorites, but it was also her ex’s favorite… God, she misses him so much it hurts like a bitch. Maybe she should throw out the wig, if it’s going to hurt her so much. It’s still a favorite though, and she refuses to allow that dickhead to take more from her than necessary.
Adore realizes she’s been zoning out, and reaches her hand out for Bianca. Her hand finds Bianca’s, and she squeezes it tightly. Bianca’s eyes meet hers, and Adore is overwhelmed with how wonderful and amazing this person is. Bianca’s is basically the definition of perfect, and Adore knows she’s lucky to even be her friend. Though that doesn’t really stop her from pining after Bianca.
“Bia…” Adore whines again.
“What?” Bianca sighs.
“Can we leave?” she asks, quiet and sad.
Bianca looks down at her, and must take some kind of pity, “Yeah, we can go.”
Ten minutes later they’re climbing into the back of an Uber, and Adore is quick to lay her head down in Bianca’s lap. Bianca rubs the back of her neck, and it feels really good because she’s starting to feel really ill.
Adore moans pathetically, “Yanks…”
“Yeah?” Bianca answers her.
“If I puke will you hold my hair back?”
“Sure, but then I’ll beat you up for puking all over me and this fucking car.”
Adore giggles, feeling slightly better with their usual banter, “Love you, Bia.”
“Love you too,” Bianca smiles softly.
4.) Trixya, pregnant!Katya sequel
For almost a year now, Katya’s life has been totally changed. Deciding to actually go through with physically having a child was big enough, but when she was actually pregnant? Everything changed.
Every decision she made impacted the baby. What she ate, what she wore, what she did… Every little thing impacted not just her anymore, but her child too. And she wouldn’t give it up for anything, because sitting here, holding that child in her arms, she knows it was all worth it.
Sitting here in the hospital bed, Katya is mesmerized by her baby. Her eyes are so startling blue, like Trixie’s, and her smile is so vibrant, like Trixie. Katya thinks her baby will be just like Trixie in so many ways. Katya hopes her daughter gets all her good traits, and none of her bad ones. This child helped to save her from addiction, Katya doesn’t want her to fall into it.
“What are you thinking about?” Trixie whispers, leaning over her shoulder to look into their baby’s eyes.
“How we still haven’t named her,” Katya says, cupping her pretty face.
Trixie rolls her eyes, “Well, we would’ve had that one figured out by now if-”
“Really? In front of the baby?” Katya says, trying to play all serious at first, then bursts into laughter at Trxiei’s surprised expression.
“You bitch,” Trixie laughs, lightly slapping Katya’s shoulder.
“But seriously, the kid needs a name,” Katya frowns, “We can’t keep calling her ‘the baby’ forever.”
“It’s only been a day,” Trixie shrugs, “But you’re right.”
“I should give her a really complicated Russian name you can’t pronounce,” Katya teases.
“Do you hate me? Is that it?” Trixie plays along.
Katya kisses her though, and the way Trixie turns bright red gets her all emotional all over again.
“I’ve been in love with you since we met,” Katya reminds her once they break apart.
“We should name her Barbara,” Trixie giggles.
“Nevermind, you’re right, I do hate you.”
Trixie cackles, and the baby starts to fuss in response. Both immediately try to calm her down, and luckily do so with minimal effort.
“Maybe… Cherry?” Trixie suggests.
Katya looks at her, then realizes she;s being serious, “Really? Cherry?”
“We could put down like, Cheryl or something on paper, but Cherry is like red, and sweet, and cute…” Trixie explains, blushing some.
Katya purses her lips, looks down at her baby, and grins widely.
“Cherry suits her.”
5.) Trixya, "You’ve been crying, I can tell."
There’s tear tracks down Trixie’s cheeks, her eyes are bright red, and she’s even sniffling. It makes Katy’s heart hurt. She doesn’t like to see Trixie upset, that girl is the last person on this earth who should ever cry.
“Katya-” Trixie says, jerking back when she sees the older, clearly having thought she was alone.
“What happened?” Katya asks, stepping forward instinctively. She wants nothing more than to hug her.
“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Trixie says, unable to meet Katya’s eyes.
Katya frowns, “You’ve been crying, I can tell.”
Trixie looks shocked, but still persists, “I’m fine.”
“I’m never going to believe that,” Katya says, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Trixie finally admits.
“Okay, that I can understand,” Katya says, reaching forward to take Trixie’s hand in her own, “But… that doesn’t mean you have to be alone. We don’t have to talk, but let me be here for you. Please?”
Trixie looks up at Katya’s kind, worried eyes, completely taken aback by how genuine her friend is being. Trixie nods, unable to actually form any words, and is almost instantly wrapped up in a strong hug.
The younger places her head in the crook of Katya’s neck, and starts to cry all over again. She doesn’t feel so empty and alone now, though. She feels like maybe if she just stays in Katya’s arms, listening to her reassurances and absorbing her love, for a little while longer then everything will be okay.
6.) Biadore, Adore visiting Bianca in Palm Springs
The sun is shining brightly, the palm trees surrounding the pool sway in the breeze, and Danny feels more relaxed than they have in many, many months. They’re on their back in the center of the pool, letting themself drift and be one with the water. Usually they prefer to go straight to the source, they are a mermaid after all, but there’s something to be said about getting to be alone in the water with their boyfriend.
There’s no one else around, just the two of them, alone and having sexy, fun, romance together. Said boyfriend pops up out of the water next to Danny, and peers over them, a smirk on his lips. Danny sits up so they’re not on their back anymore, and presses a little closer to Roy.
“Hi,” Roy chuckles, leaning in close to Danny’s lips.
Danny grins, “Hello yourself.”
Roy laughs, but kisses Danny anyways. The kiss is chaste, but still full of love and joy. Danny wraps their arms around Roy’s neck and goes in for another kiss, this one full and sloppy. Roy pushes Danny forward as they soak each other in, until Roy had Danny pinned to the concrete edge, his large hands spanning across Danny’s, currently tiny, hips.
The younger is bad at the whole self-care thing during work, which is one of the many reasons he’s happy to have them here. Now he has an excuse to get real food into Danny, and help them relax.
The two pull away from each other, breathless and smiling, and it’s perfect. The sun on their skin, the clear water around them, and neither would have it any other way.
“We should go annoy the neighbors with your golf cart this afternoon,” Danny suggests, smiling and close to laughter.
“Yeah,” Roy says, close to laughing himself, “We should.”
#rpdr fanfiction#trixie mattel#katya zamolodchikova#adore delano#bianca del rio#trixya#biadore#angst#fluff#romance#hurt/comfort#implied smut#pregnancy au#canon compliant#lesbian au#drabble compilation#candy cane#concrit welcome#tw vomit mention
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What a Wicked Game {14/15}
Killian met her in a pub on a rainy night in March. Going inside was only supposed to be a way for him to avoid the rain and fight off the demons in his head. It was a place for him to pass through, not stay. But then he was charmed by a blonde woman with a quick wit who had absolutely no interest in him or who he was.
That was a first. It was also the beginning of Emma Nolan helping to bring him back to life. It was the beginning of everything.
Five years later, with their worlds crumbling around them, Killian can’t help but wonder if this is the end of the peace they have known now that his family knows about his relationship. It wouldn’t be a problem if his father wasn’t the King of England.
rating: mature
a/n: all my thanks to @captainswanbigbang, @resident-of-storybrooke, @captainsjedi, and all of you! I hope you enjoy this nice little snapshot to the future that is 100% a homage to the original insane “epilogue” 😘
ao3: beginning | current
Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
-/-
December 2020
Emma’s in a white dress made of ornate lace and the most intricate beading work she’s ever seen. The material hugs her body, accentuating the curve of her waist and falling to her wrists where they stop so that the rings on her hands are visible. There are three now, two on the left hand and one on the right. Her hair is falling down her back in long, perfectly curled waves, and half of it is pinned back with a diamond barrette that almost perfectly matches the tiara gracing the top of her head. A veil is attached to it, and it wraps around her body and all the way down to the ground, the lace surrounding the edges of it.
She’s wearing a tiara.
Like, a tiara worth hundreds of thousands of dollars that she wore on top of her head for hours.
It was a year and a half ago and she’s worn plenty of nice jewelry since, but there’s something about looking at the pictures hanging in their hallway that still makes Emma stop in her tracks to stare at them.
It’s the nice clothes at first, her wedding dress and Killian’s black Naval uniform that he looked so handsome in, but then it’s the smiles on their faces, the true happiness written into their lips. Their foreheads are pressed together in this one, and while their lips aren’t touching, they nearly are. Killian’s eyes are crinkled, the lines prominent, and Emma remembers him telling her some awful dirty joke that had the photographer blushing and Emma laughing until tears were flowing from her eyes.
(They’d had to touch up her makeup, and it took forever because she couldn’t seem to stop laughing at her husband.)
Their wedding was on a sunny day at the beginning of June, and most of it was a blur. Emma’s stomach was in knots for the majority of the day, not because she was nervous about getting married. It was more over having to be in front of hundreds of people in the Chapel and millions more on television, as well as having to spend half of her day with Brennan. Thankfully, he stayed away from them as much as he could, seemingly respecting them enough to let them have their day without his disapproval and overall shitty attitude. It’s the nicest thing he’s ever done for her, letting her have that day.
It was a great day.
“Who the hell is that handsome bastard in the portrait you’re staring at, darling?”
Emma huffs and turns to look at Killian only for him to come up behind her and wrap his arms around her waist, tugging her back into him before laying sloppy kisses all across her jaw and down her neck that has her stomach flipping. He’s always doing that.
“You’re so conceited.”
“Confident.”
“Eh.”
He nips at her ear, and she sighs back into him, letting heat simmer in her belly even if she knows that they can’t do anything about it right now. They don’t have time.
“You have to learn that my confidence is warranted. How could it not be when my wife makes noises like you just made when I barely brush my lips over her jaw?”
“I’m not helping your ego grow by answering that.”
Killian rolls his hips into hers, grinding into her ass, all while kissing her ear again, lavishing the sensitive spot that causes her flesh to pebble, and she just knows that he has a dumb joke in his brain about making something else grow. He’s thirty-one years old, and the amount of erection jokes that he makes is ridiculous. Granted, ninety percent of the time she wants to hear them, but that’s entirely beside the point.
“Killian,” she moans when his tongue licks along the shell of her ear while his fingers ghost over her stomach and up toward the underside of her breast, “we don’t have t-time. We’ve got to go to Sandringham in fifteen minutes. The car is scheduled to take us to the train station.”
“Fifteen minutes is plenty of time.”
“I haven’t finished packing.”
“I suppose you’ll simply have to walk around in the nude since kissing you is the only thing I can think of doing at this moment.”
Emma laughs, but then she’s turning her head to kiss him. Their lips collide together softly, and Emma twists her body until her hands are grabbing onto the lapels of his shirt, pulling him closer to him. His mouth is warm against hers, and it sends another thrill down her spine, curling around each inch of her. His erection is hotly pressing into her thigh through his jeans, and she feels it even more when Killian backs her up to the wall behind them. When she parts her lips for him, his tongue quickly flickers into her mouth, she follows his lead, eager to feel him in every way that she can.
It’s been eight years of this, eight years of her entire body thrumming and of Emma wanting him, and while there are days that it wanes and days where just looking at his face annoys her, it’s mostly like this.
Loving him is the easiest decision she’s ever made.
Choosing to be with him despite all of the insane highs and deep lows is the best choice she’s ever made.
Killian’s a good one. No, the best one.
(And she’s not biased at all.)
She grinds into him and groans against his mouth when he hits a particularly good spot, and in the haze of his fervent kisses, she reaches down between them until she’s fumbling with the button on his jeans and popping it open all the while Killian mutters filthy curses into her mouth.
“What happened to not having time?”
“Shut up.”
“I love it when you speak to me like that.”
“You are - ”
He doesn’t let her finish, not when his lips are slamming back into hers, and he’s kissing her so deeply that Emma can’t breathe or think or even focus on anything other than the feel and smell of Killian and the way his fingers are tugging her leggings down until the warm air of the apartment is hitting against her skin.
“God, I love you,” Killian murmurs into her jaw while his hands hook under her ass and urge her to wrap her legs around his waist.
“What are you doing? Are you seriously trying to show off athletic prowess right now?”
His hands squeeze on her ass, and he feels her smirking into her skin. The bastard.
“Absolutely, I am. I can’t wait to be sore tomorrow.”
Emma’s head tilts back with her laughter even as Killian slowly enters hers, stretching her the slightest bit while her arms tighten around his neck and her legs curl even further around his waist. He better not drop her. One time he did, and they should really find a couch or something. They’ve got at least fifteen in this damn place.
But then it just feels too damn good just like this. It’s hard and fast, their bodies completely pressed together, and all of Emma’s thoughts are blurred and mixed in with Killian’s muttered curses and her harsh pants and then their mouths finding each other once more. They’re close enough that Emma’s on edge already, each of his thrusts brushing her exactly where she needs him, and her eyes squeeze more tightly shut when she begins to fall, letting Killian’s encouragements guide her until she’s there.
Damn, Jones.
He must finish quickly afterwards, his legs nearly collapsing so that the both of them fall to the ground, but he manages to keep hold of them, supporting her.
“Thanks for not dropping me on my ass.” Killian huffs into her neck at her words, and she feels him loosen his grip on her so that she’s tightening her legs and gasping as he tries to drop her. “That’s not funny!”
“I found it funny.”
“How is dropping me to the ground funny? Aren’t you supposed to love me and cherish me or whatever?”
He leaves a warm, open-mouthed kiss on the side of her neck before pulling back so that she can see the ridiculous blue of his eyes. She’ll never quite get over them. “I do love you, which is why I haven’t asked you to get down yet even though my legs feel rather flimsy right now.”
Emma kisses the top of his head before unwrapping her legs and slowly falling to the ground, her own legs shaky. “I love you, too. We should probably go clean ourselves up and pretend that we weren’t just fucking five minutes before we got in the car to go to your family’s Christmas celebrations.”
“‘Tis the season and all.” Killian kisses her again, this time slow and unbelievably soft. Those are always her favorite. “Thanks for marrying me, darling. You’re just as beautiful today as you are in all of these pictures.”
“I’m not currently wearing pants.”
“That’s the way I like you.”
He’s an idiot...who she loves so damn much.
-/-
Celebrating Christmas with Killian’s family is weird.
There’s really no other way for her to describe it. For one, they spend at least five days having to circle around Brennan, which is hard enough as it is. He’s never going to approve of her and never going to love Killian the way a dad should, but at least he isn’t outwardly hostile to them anymore. It’s more of a quiet simmer with subtle rude comments that are made when Allison is out of earshot, and as awkward and uncomfortable as it is, Emma will take it. This is how it is, and there’s so much more to Killian’s family than his dad.
Allison, for one, is the sweetest woman alive who tries to make up for all of her husband’s downfalls (Emma still thinks she should divorce Brennan, but she knows it won’t ever happen. Appearances and all that. It’s also none of Emma’s business), and she’s taken Emma under her wing in the past two years, teaching her everything there is to know about royal life even though Killian and Emma both decided to not be as prominent as Liam and Elsa. They still work, are nearly always out and about working with some kind of charity they’re passionate about, but they’re not into all of the frills and the publicity.
Her accident still haunts her, the attacks of the media that occur every day following right behind, and it’s the reason they’re having a house built in Bucklebury so that they can have some privacy away from all of the business of living in Kensington. Emma’s doing her best, but she does not accept having to stop caring for her own life and her own wants simply because of who her husband’s family is.
It’s still so odd, Emma thinks. She fell in love with this wonderful, normal guy, and now she’s wandering around on an estate in formal wear to celebrate Christmas instead of lounging around in her pajamas eating junk food with her parents.
Her parents who are never invited to come for the holiday celebrations and who she misses dearly and will be going to see on the night of the twenty-fifth.
But besides having to spend time with Brennan, Emma also has to spend time with all of Killian’s cousins and aunts and uncles who she can never remember the names of despite her best efforts, and follow even more insane rules about what to wear and what silverware to use and what kind of presents to give. Killian held her hand throughout this entire week last year to help her learn, and he’s having to do the same this year. Though, she’s better at it now. She’s not a total fumbling fool.
Just a little one.
But she does know to always find Killian or Liam and Elsa, and if all else fails, she can spend time with Alex and Lizzie and be completely and totally charmed by their adorableness. Seriously. Emma thinks they might be the cutest kids alive, and she’s not biased at all because she’s their aunt. Alex is somehow four now even though she swears he was just two, and he’s the funniest child Emma has ever met. Lizzie is much quieter, more of an observer than anything else, but whenever she sees Emma, she runs to her and stretches her arms out so that Emma can scoop her up into Emma’s arms.
It absolutely makes Emma’s heart swell.
“Darling,” Killian calls out to her, and Emma’s head twists around to see Killian standing across the dining room from her in his tux, “would you come here for a moment?”
Emma turns back to the cousin - Rachel, she thinks - she was just talking to and excuses herself from the conversation to walk toward Killian, who is undeniably saving her before she got swooped away to talk to someone else.
“Thank you,” she whispers into Killian’s ear once she’s close enough, pressing her lips to the underside of his jaw and leaving a mark of red lipstick.
He kisses her temple and lazily loops his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. “Darling, I was just telling Liam that you were going to be on my football team tomorrow, and that he can’t draft you for his team first.”
Emma tilts her head and looks at Liam and Elsa. “Isn’t it Liam’s turn to have first pick? You had it last year.”
“Liam gave it to me last year,” Killian says, his eyes pointed at Liam, “even though it was his year. This year is technically still my year.”
“Rubbish. When I gave you first pick it was a gift because you were a newlywed, but we’re still supposed to switch off years.”
“No, this is still my year. Last year was a gift, and I did not agree to give up my pick.”
“I’ve just said that it’s not!”
Elsa rolls her eyes, and Emma brings her bottom lip between her teeth to bite. Seeing the boys be friends is never not refreshing, but it’s also obnoxious. They bicker all of the time in this friendly but obnoxious way, and if Elsa and Emma were to walk away, neither of them would notice.
“Babe,” Emma laughs, rubbing her hand up and down Killian’s back, “just give Liam the first pick. He’s not going to pick me. He’ll want to pick someone who’s actually good so he can beat you.”
“She makes a good point, little brother,” Liam says.
“Younger. It’s younger, and fine, you can have the first pick.”
-/-
Liam picks her first for the football game the next day.
Killian plays the entire game with murder in his eyes even if he immediately picked Elsa so Liam couldn’t have her on his team.
All’s fair in love and annual Christmas football matches.
(She and Liam totally kick Killian’s ass.)
-/-
When Emma wakes, she rolls over and checks her phone.
3:01 AM, December 25th, 2020.
It’s the middle of the night...or the morning, and she shouldn’t be awake. She’s got at least four more hours left of sleep, and she should not be awake. It’s been pretty much non-stop for the four days they’ve been at Sandringham, and she should be exhausted. Mostly, though, she’s hungry.
“Killian,” Emma whispers, reaching across the bed to poke his bicep. “Killian, wake up.”
He grunts and twists his head until she can see one eye open while the rest of his face is squished. “What?”
His voice is gritty and deep, and she’s really got to wake him up more if he’s going to sound like that. “How do I get to the kitchen?”
“What?”
“Where’s the kitchen?”
Killian twists again until he’s blinking at her and rubbing his hand up and down his face. “What time is it?”
“It’s three in the morning, and I’m starving. I have never figured out how to get to the kitchen in this place.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not.”
Killian grunts and rolls over, throwing the covers off of him before standing from the bed and pulling his pajamas up on his waist so they’re not hanging indecently low any longer. “Come on. I’ll take you down there.”
“You’re my favorite person in the world.”
He grunts again and starts walking away, not bothering to find a shirt or shoes, and Emma quickly follows. She’s also got to pee right now, but asking Killian to wait might not be her best option when he doesn’t seem too thrilled about her waking him up in the middle of the night. She gets it. She wouldn’t be thrilled either.
All of the hallways are dark, but Killian easily navigates them, twisting and turning and taking several different staircases until he’s pushing through a set of double doors and they’re entering an industrial kitchen that doesn’t at all mix with the rest of this house.
Emma literally has no idea how they got down here.
“What do you want to eat, love?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“Nope. What do we have?” He opens the fridge, and she steps into his space until she’s looking inside as well at what looks like a hell of a lot of baked goods that they can’t eat. They’re probably for something else. “Can we eat any of this?”
“I think the baked goods are Mum’s gifts to the staff to take home to their families, but I can make you something. Do you want a grilled cheese sandwich?”
“Do you even know me at all?”
Killian laughs, but then he’s reaching forward and grabbing cheese and butter and moving away from the fridge, shuffling around and getting everything that he needs. When she offers to make it herself since this was her idea and Killian doesn’t even like grilled cheese, he tells her that he’s got it if she can make him some tea. They’re probably not going to sleep again, so they might as well get some caffeine.
Caffeine and maybe some cookie dough that she found in the freezer.
(She can’t help herself.)
“You know,” Emma yawns, “I used to be up at three in the morning all the time, but now I can’t do it.”
“It’s because you’re getting old, darling.”
“Says the man who is in his thirties, meanwhile I can still say that I’m in my twenties for ten more months.”
“And then once you hit that thirty mark, you’ll officially be old.”
“I will not be old. Thirty isn’t old. That’s a social construct.”
“It’s too early in the morning to be focusing on things like that.”
“True,” Emma sighs, taking a sip of her tea while Killian plates her sandwich, sliding it over to her with a napkin. It smells freaking amazing. “Thank you for this.”
“It’s no problem. You’ll burn your mouth if you eat it right now.”
“Some things are worth the risk.”
Killian chuckles and leans forward to grab his own tea, taking a large gulp. “I wouldn’t get up at three in the morning to cook for anyone else. I hope you know that.”
“I do know that. I wouldn’t wake anyone else up to make me food at three in the morning. Though, I really only needed you to show me where the kitchen was. I didn’t need you to cook.”
“It’s not a problem. You’re suffering through Christmas with my family for the second year in a row. This is literally the least I can do.”
Emma finishes chewing her bite before leaning forward over the counter to press her lips into Killian’s. “I’m happy to do most everything that I have to do as your wife. It’s weird and definitely not how I ever imagined my life, but I wear a hell of a lot of Spanx for you. That’s true love.”
His eyes crinkle, and Emma is so incredibly charmed by him and his stupidly mussed hair and sleepy smile. It’s kind of ridiculous, but she loves that smile and the way his hair can’t be contained when he hasn’t combed through it.
“And I make you the grossest sandwich in existence.”
“It’d only be the grossest if it involved mayonnaise and tuna or something.”
“This is true.” It’s Killian’s turn to lean over the counter until his lips are brushing across the tip of her nose. “I truly am thankful for you and not simply because you wear Spanx for me and heels that make your feet scream.”
“Yeah, babe,” Emma sighs, her heart content. “I know.”
“Merry Christmas, Swan.”
“Merry Christmas, my love. Should we steal some more cookie dough?”
-/-
February 2021
“This is weird.”
“What is? Being here?”
“Yep,” Emma hums as she looks out the window and sees the congested streets of Manhattan. “I don’t know...I knew it would be different to be back in America, but it’s just - I don’t know. I’ve only been to New York three times, so it’s not like it’s somewhere I spent a lot of time. Driving on this side of the road is kind of freaking me out.”
Killian huffs, but then his fingers are twining together with hers and he’s pulling her knuckles to his lips to kiss right above her wedding band. “We’ve been in America for a week, darling. I feel like you should be used to it by now.”
“Yeah,” she yawns, “I know, but honestly, I can’t tell you what we’ve done this week. It’s all a sleep-deprived blur. What are we even doing today?”
“I believe we’re going to a basketball game to meet with some children and promote the North American opening of Kidding A Goal, and then tomorrow we have several charities we’re visiting before a meeting with our U.S. diplomats.”
“And then we go home?”
“No, then we have the function at NYU. I’m giving a speech, but after that, I believe we’re going home. We’ll have to ask Ariel when we get to the hotel. I’m sure she’ll have everything mapped out to the exact minute.” Emma yawns again before her eyes flutter closed and she’s lulled into drowsiness. “Emma?”
“Mhm?”
“Do you need to stay in the hotel tonight and sleep? No one would blame you if you missed the game.”
She scoffs. There are literally thousands, probably millions of people who would blame her. Brennan would be the first person, and then all of the people who already hate her would be right in line after him. She’s been hailed as some kind of American princess for years now, and all of their aides and publicists have been marketing this visit with her returning to her roots or something.
Los Angeles, Atlanta, and New York City aren’t exactly her roots.
But this is her life. She loves it even when she hates it. She can roll with the punches.
“I’m fine,” Emma promises. “Of all of the things we’ve had to do on this tour, I think going to a basketball game might be the easiest.”
-/-
The basketball game takes forever.
Seriously. How can a game that’s slated to last a certain amount of time exceed that time by hours? Either be like tennis where you have no idea how long it’s going to take or like football (soccer) where when the time is set, it usually stays that way.
This is why she’s never liked this sport.
And really, the entire time that they’re there, one of the publicists from the team talks down to her like she doesn’t know what’s going on. Granted, she doesn’t know all the rules, but there’s a difference between explaining something and talking down to someone. But it’s all fine and good, and she and Killian have a nice experience sitting courtside and stuffing their face with popcorn while sweaty men with squeaking sneakers run by them. Afterwards (and during honestly) there are a million and two photo ops, but Emma likes getting to talk to all of the kids that are there for them and for the game. They’re all adorable, and they give her and Killian matching jerseys that she feels like Killian is definitely going to be wearing more often than he should.
He seems to like basketball more than she does, but maybe she’d enjoy it more if she wasn’t so exhausted that she could fall asleep standing up.
They probably don’t get back to the hotel until two in the morning, and when they do, Killian promptly kisses her goodnight and then falls asleep.
Emma doesn’t.
Because, of course, she can’t fall asleep, and when their alarm goes off the next morning and Killian rolls over in bed to kiss the side of her neck, lingering there as he whispers sweet words against her skin, all Emma can think is that she only got two interrupted hours of sleep.
Her makeup artist is going to kill her.
If Emma doesn’t fall out from exhaustion first.
Several cups of coffee and a hell of a lot of concealer later, however, she’s good to go for another day of representing her new country to her old country.
Life gets weirder every day.
She’d do it all over again in a heartbeat for Killian.
-/-
“Love, have you packed our toiletries already?”
“Love?”
“Emma?”
There’s a tap against her shoulder, and Emma jumps, blinking several times until Killian’s blurry face comes into clearer view so that she can see the blue of his eyes and the scar on his cheek.
“Emma, darling, are you alright?”
“Yeah,” she says, waving him away and grabbing a pair of leggings out of the drawer. There’s no way she’s flying home in actual pants. That’s too long of a flight for anything that doesn’t have a soft elastic waist. She’s also wearing comfortable shoes because she’s going to boycott heels for a month. “Did you need something?”
Killian’s head tilts while his brows furrow. “I was asking if you’d packed away our toiletries. I’d like to brush my teeth again after drinking coffee, but I can’t seem to find the bags.”
“Really?” She begins to walk across the suite in their hotel room toward the bathroom. “Because they should be on the vanity. I haven’t packed them up yet. I - ”
Her feet catch in the carpet as her head suddenly begins to spin, and not for the first time in the last few days, Emma feels light-headed. But this is different. She can’t focus on anything, every object around her a pixelated version of itself, and before she can grab onto a blurred version of a dresser, she’s falling to the ground with the sound of Killian’s voice echoing behind her.
-/-
-/-
I did say this was pretty much like that original epilogue, didn’t I? Sorry to all of you newbies 😘🙈
tag list: @mrtinski @klynn-stormz @jonirobinson64 @snowbellewells @therealstartraveller776 @thejollyroger-writer @sherifemma @shardminds @captainsjedi @galaxyzxstark @galadriel26 @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @teamhook @spartanguard @searchingwardrobes @itsfabianadocarmo @owlways-and-forever @jamif @shireness-says @ultimiflos @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @onepunintendid @bluewildcatfanatic @397bartonstreet @killianswannn @carpedzem @captainkillianswanjones @mayquita @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @a-faekindagirl @scientificapricot @scarletslippers @xellewoods @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @singersdd @tornadoamy @captainswanbigbang
#what a wicked game#cs fic#cs ff#cs fanfic#captain swan fic#captain swan ff#captain swan fanfic#captain swan#csrt#captain swan rewrite a thon
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Standby
[10 Min. Read/2.3K Words -- Bang Chan x Female Reader -- Idol!AU -- NSFW/Smut, Some plot -- Hand Jobs, Hazy Boundaries, Sneaking Around, Job Hazards, One-Sided Feelings, Acting Professional]
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Masterlist | Feedback
This was your luckiest break yet, and now it was crumbling in front of your eyes.
You stood rigid, wrestling with the unyielding doorknob in the hallway, silently pleading it to just open. Your knuckles were actually sore from constantly knocking, but you went for it again.
"Chan?" You tried calling out once more.
"Seriously, just a minute!" Came the agitated reply.
"Come on, this is ridiculous!" You shook your head, running through your list of options.
This wasn't like Chan. You'd only been working with him personally for a few months, but you were well aware of him before that. Before you were accepted into your internship with JYP, you had actually been working at the cafe on the ground floor of the building. You saw Chan nearly every day, being friendly and holding doors open for people. He even came and ordered coffee occasionally, enjoying being able to have someone new to chat with in english. When you were first introduced to the band as an assistant manager, Chan immediately jumped up and vouched for you. In return, you promised him you'd always do your best to do right by him. Your transition into the group's lives was made so much easier, and you knew you could count on Chan for being a good guy.
Why was it, then, that he was being so god-damned difficult? He had been holed up in the green room since the group left standby to wait on deck in the wings backstage at Inkigayo. You knew it had been a rough day overall. The boys practiced until midnight and after a few hours of sleep they had been in the studio until it was time to leave for the recording late in the afternoon. He'd seemed out of it, on edge, endlessly tired. You tried to think of every tactic you'd witnessed Hyun-Jae-unnie try with the group. She'd been one of their managers for a couple years now, and she was a sight to behold. She knew the schedules, the flights, the appointments, she had members' favorite candies on her at all times, she knew when they preferred to fall asleep and what they would probably want to order from any restaurant near the dorm. Recalling everything you possibly could, you knew Chan needed plentiful, yet firm, encouragement.
"Chan?" You attempted, more gently this time, "You've been doing so well today. I just need to come in and make sure you're okay so we can get you on deck."
"Holy shit, one fucking minute please?" You blinked hard at the frantic reply. This was so unlike him, but now you were getting concerned. You clenched your fists around imaginary stress balls. A drastic thought came to mind.
"Chris. Let me in. Or I'm coming in."
A pregnant silence ghosted through the door. You'd only used Chan's other name once, in disbelief after a couple too many beers during a group night out. He'd clumsily attempted to big brother you and chide you about wasting time on another intern at the company who wouldn't stop flirting with you. The idiot intern did, indeed, waste your time, but you never forgot how Chan had tensed under the name coming out of your mouth.
Well, he did this to himself. There was no way you were failing a task as deceptively simple as "get Chan out of the green room before I kill him." You inspected the doorknob: it had a little hole in the center. Remembering how you'd seen Hyun-Jae-unnie do it before, you opened your bag and pulled out the knitting needle she suggested you keep for just this reason. You fiddled with needle in the lock, hoping to trip the simple mechanism. The lock finally gave way with an audible click, sending you stumbling onto the floor of the green room.
You quickly scrambled to sit up, simultaneously gasping and covering your eyes at the sight of Chan -- face flushed but rapidly reddening -- as he stood from the seat at the vanity and whipped around, trying desperately to stuff his rigid member back into his pants.
But it was too late. Your hand still clamped over your eyes, you now impatiently placed the other on your hip.
"Chan, are you kidding me?! Is that what we're all waiting for? Can you finish up please?"
"Don't you think I would if I could?!"
"Fine, walk it off and let's go."
You turned around so you could safely open your eyes once more and waited for any sort of answer, only to be met with Chan cursing under his breath as he put himself back together.
"Oh, of all the fucking things, Jesus Christ--" he muttered.
"What is it now?!"
Chan sighed, defeated. "The zip is stuck."
Your eyes practically rolled back in your head from the force of your annoyed groan. You wheeled back around, storming across the room to slap Chan's hands away from his pants. Grabbing firmly at the zipper, you began wrestling with it yourself, only half noticing the mild terror and gross curiosity in Chan's eyes as he watched.
"I'm sure you're just sweating," you sneered. "You know, from being caught." You were teasing, and it was possibly mean, but you both understood he sort of deserved it.
"Well, maybe if you weren't being so pushy I could actually finish and you wouldn't have to catch me." You did look up now, rolling your eyes at Chan's provoking smirk.
You wrenched at the zipper, which was well and truly stuck. You could almost hear all of your superiors berating and mocking you for causing a broadcast delay. Suddenly, an idea struck.
"Chan," you started carefully, "I can make this work. I have a safety pin in my bag that I can use to just hold the opening down for the broadcast. Then we can push the problem onto a stylist."
"Brilliant!"
"But..."
Chan let out an exaggerated sigh. "What?! What now?!"
"I need to have everything else in place so the pin isn't carrying any tension, or else it might break or bend. So I need to button and belt you."
"Sure. And?" He rushed you.
"Calm the hell down. I... Well, I can't exactly get in there safely if you're still hard. Can you at least shove it down one leg?"
Chan nervously bounced his foot and turned away and back again, the blush returning to his cheeks. "I can't. That's why I was trying to take care of it, but I can't even finish. And, as I'm sure you can see --" he gestured to the ludicrously expensive pants, "-- these aren't exactly forgiving and I'm actually a little claustrophobic in them. All I know is I was super stressed and feeling a little anxious, and I'm a genius and thought 'Sure, I can relieve some stress super quick if I hang back in the green room', but now I can't finish and can't get it back down, and I'm pretty sure I'm actually dead and this is hell."
The only idea ringing out in your head was a stupid one, but was the only viable option if you didn't want to call for help, and good god you didn't want to call for help. In your first week as an intern, you messed up the coffee order once and caught flack for it for three days. No. No help. This was all up to you, and you'd be damned to let Chan trip you both up. You placed a firm hand on his shoulder.
"Channie," you tried gently, "I can fix this. Do you trust me?"
His eyes widened at the cute name, momentarily distracted from his current doom. He shook himself out of it. "If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting, then I'll tell you right now that that's not happening --" Chan babbled incessantly, crumbling faster and faster towards the hell that was going to engulf you both if you weren't careful.
"Chris."
His eyes darted back and forth from your hand clutching his shoulder, to your determined gaze.
"Chris," you began again, "we're going to make it out of this, but you'll have to trust me. I said I'd always do right by you, right?"
"Right." He was quieter now, warily following your subtle lead as you slowly backed him up against the vanity he had been sitting at when you first stumbled in, your other hand still gripping his waistband. "You can say no," you reminded him as you let him go.
He took a moment to silently consider before he heartily shook his head to refute. "No," he said definitively, "it's insane but I think you and I are both a little too manic from stress to come up with anything better. Do it."
You both nodded in agreement as you grabbed for his jeans, this time pulling them down just enough to give him some breathing room. You hesitated as you reached for his hard cock when you suddenly realized. You reached one hand to his face, the other around his waist, and Chan leaned back, curiously considering what you were doing before he tentatively ducked his head back down to yours. His eyes closed, his lips barely brushing yours when you realized what he was doing. You yelped, jumping back. Chan looked puzzled.
"Wrong?"
"Wrong. Don't make it weird." You nodded and approached him again, trying again and this time quickly slipping his headset off of his ear and switching off his mic pack. God forbid a sound tech checked the monitor and overheard.
Chan smirked. "It's already too weird to not be weird." His raised eyebrows faltered as you finally got a tentative hold of his cock. He let out a thick groan, eyes squeezed shut and unable to hold back as you began to gently pump his length. Instinctively, you gracefully spat onto your palm before resuming stroking him, the added lubricant making him whine and squirm. He leaned back more against the vanity, breathing hard and watching you intently now. His moans made you blush, really making you consider just what the hell you were doing.
"If it helps," he groaned, "I've always thought you're really pretty."
You accidentally squeezed hard, getting a strangled whimper out of Chan. You clamped your thighs tight, hoping to dull any arousal threatening to bubble up "Nope, doesn't help," you squeaked, "shut up. It's just business."
Chan shook his head. "So sexy," he mused sardonically, biting at his lip as you began stroking him harder.
"Close at all?" You asked, hopeful as you noticed the flush crawl up his neck and his grip on the vanity tighten.
"Much more than earlier," he observed thoughtfully.
"How do we get you there?"
Chan looked as pensive as he could with you adding more saliva to the firm length of his cock.
"... Say my name again."
You raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Really?"
"I like the way it sounds when you say it," he murmured sheepishly.
Fine. If it would help him finish, then you would play along. Still massaging his rigid member, you let yourself lean more into his personal space. Chan watched carefully as you finally met his gaze.
"You do?" You asked, almost cutely. His eyes widened just the smallest bit, his blown out pupils shaking as he barely nodded. "You like hearing how I want you to cum, Chris?" His breathing hitched. You quieted every nerve in your body tempted to respond to how turned on you wanted to be. You pulled away from his stare, leaning up instead to press your lips to his ear. "Say it."
"I..." He tripped over his words, only made worse as you stopped stroking him.
"Say it, Chris," you hissed.
"I... I think about it a lot. I love it," he admitted quietly, his hands gripping the vanity tightly. Your heart stopped and you urged yourself to charge ahead.
"Good." You praised, unknowing exactly where all this energy was coming from, but unable to immediately deny that it felt good. Chan's moans more steadily turned to whimpers as you quickly resumed your previous, vigorous pace.
"Oh, fuck," Chan whined. You couldn't help but let a small smile take hold.
"What now?"
"I'm getting close," he groaned desperately, "thank Christ."
"I think you mean 'thank you'."
"Not yet, I don't."
You gave in to the moment, unable to not share a short, exhausted laugh between the two of you. However, you knew you were running short on time. You pressed your lips to his ear again.
"Chris?"
"Yeah?" He shivered. You were only further emboldened.
"Cum." You commanded, your slick grip focusing on the head of his cock. Just as you felt him tense against you, you dropped to your knees in front of him, earning a surprised and loud yelp as you wrapped your lips around his spurting cock and sucking him dry. You looked up, admiring as Chan threw his head back, cursing to himself as you swallowed the hot load. Confident of a job well done, you gave a satisfied smile to his rapidly wilting member.
Chan watched, dazed and stunned and speechless as you quickly set about ruffling through your bag, still on your shoulder from the moment you burst into the room. Swiftly, you fished out the safety pin, stuffing Chan back into his briefs and into his impossibly tight jeans and pinning his fly closed after you buttoned and belted him. You finished off with a quick spurt of hand sanitizer on your palms and a mint in your mouth before grabbing Chan by the arm and hauling him out of the room.
You hazarded a glance back at Chan's goofy, half-awake grin as you pulled him towards the wings backstage.
"Shut up."
"I haven't said anything!"
"You want to, though."
Chan, enjoying himself entirely too much, stifled a giggle. "No," he laughed, "wouldn't be very professional." He jogged ahead, apologizing profusely to the managers and rattling off a thorough excuse. Hyun-Jae-unnie looked at you skeptically before finally settling on a look of quiet pride at your success in your task. Chan looked back as he bowed his head in gratitude for everyone's patience, having the audacity to shoot an actual wink at you.
This was going to be trouble.
#WHOOPS WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT#kpop smut#kpop fanfiction#stray kids smut#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fanfiction#bang chan#bang chan smut#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios
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Supernatural Rewrite: Season 1 Episode 4: Phantom Traveler
Summary: Y/N Singer joins Sam and Dean on the road. A rewrite starring you.
Pairing: eventual Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader (platonic)
Warnings: language, show level violence
Word Count: 8,724
A/N: I’ll try to do at least one episode a week. No set schedule.
Dean was in that perfect middle ground state, stuck right in between being awake and asleep, everything a warm, hazy glow, and comfortable. God, was he comfortable.
He took a deep breath, the smell of strawberries hitting him, taking over his senses, his mouth turning up a little at the corner because of the images that were flooding his brain. You. You were the only thing he was seeing. He couldn't help himself anytime he smelled strawberries he instantly thought of you. You always seemed to smell like them, and he found it calming, a constant in an ever changing world.
Dean never really had anything constant, stable, in his life, not counting his brother, but even Sam had went away for awhile, leaving him spiraling for something familiar. That's why he hauled ass to Sioux Falls, South Dakota that night. He needed to be reminded that there were still constants in the world. That there was still one thing he could count on to not change, and you smelling like strawberries was it. He knew it was stupid. It was completely ridiculous that something so simple, so trivial could mean that much to a person. I mean, it was just shampoo.
It was something that he would never admit out loud, afraid of how crazy it would come off. I mean, to say that the smell of your strawberry shampoo was sometimes the only thing that kept him grounded somedays was insane, right?
He found himself dwelling on how outrageous it was sometimes, but no matter the thoughts that crossed his mind, they always ended with you. Then he would think that maybe it wasn't the strawberry shampoo that was the constant he could count on, maybe it was just you, after all. He could always count on you, and that brought a peace to him that he never thought he would have.
The sound of the door opening pulled him from his blissful state, his hand automatically reaching under his pillow for a weapon as he turned his head to see who it was.
"Morning Sunshine." Sam said as he walked in, carrying a tray of coffees and pastries.
"What time is it?" Dean croaked out, you shifting in your sleep and tossing your leg over him.
"Uh, it's about five forty-five." Sam said.
"In the morning?" Dean asked, a little annoyed to be awake that early.
"Yep." Sam replied.
"Where does the day go?" Dean asked as he untangled himself from you so that he could sit up, being careful not to wake you as you were definitely not a morning person. "Did you get any sleep last night?" he asked once he was free of you, reaching up to move a strand of hair that had fallen across your face.
Sam watched the moment unfold before him, a feeling he couldn't place hitting him, "Yeah, I grabbed a couple hours." he replied.
"Liar. Cause I was up at three, and you and Y/N were watching a George Foreman informercial." Dean said, staring him down.
Sam scoffed, "No, we weren't." he said, knowing just how worried you and Dean were about him.
"Really? Cause I'm pretty sure I heard Y/N talking about how she would kill someone for one of those fuckin' steaks." Dean said, choosing to leave out what else he heard.
"Hey, what can I say? It's riveting TV, and you know infomercials about food always make her hungry, and then she wants to order whatever it is they are talking about." Sam said, smiling a little about how you always insisted on ordering everything you saw on TV, Bobby's kitchen full of different appliances.
"Did she order the grill?" Dean asked.
"Someone wouldn't let me." you said, sitting up in bed, sleepily rubbing your eyes. "Why the fuck are we awake right now?"
"I, uh, couldn't sleep, but I got coffee." Sam said before thrusting a cup in your face.
You accepted it, looking up at him with a sad smile, "Thanks." you said, wishing there was something you could do to make him feel better.
"When was the last time you got a good nights sleep?" Dean asked.
"I don't know, a little while, I guess. It's not a big deal." Sam said as you got out of bed, making your way over to the pastries he bought.
"Yeah, it is." Dean said.
"Look, I appreciate your concern-" Sam tried to say before Dean interrupted.
"Oh, I'm not concerned about you. It's your job to keep our asses alive. We need you sharp." Dean explained.
You whipped around, powder from the powdered doughnut you were eating covering your mouth, "Hey! I think I've done a pretty good job of keeping us alive so far, but maybe you're right, Dean." you said before turning to face Sam. "I'm officially passing the responsibility of keeping our asses alive to you. Good luck with that one." you said, pointing to Dean, Sam smiling a little.
Dean scoffed, "If he's gonna need luck with anything, it's you." Dean shot back.
"Please, don't be ridiculous, Dean. I'm constantly savin' your ass. Plus, there's the fact that every time you see a pair of boobs anywhere near you, you get distracted." you said, before licking your lips to get the powder from your doughnut.
"Oh, that real cute. Especially coming from the person that told one of the cops a few cases back that she bet she could bounce a nickel off that fuckin' ass, and then if I'm remembering right...pulled a nickel out of her pocket and said wanna give it a try, cowboy." Dean said, a completely serious look on his face as he looked at you.
You threw your hands in the air, "Sue me! The man had a great ass. I was only being nice and giving him a compliment. Plus, that case was over so it doesn't count." you said, crossing your arms over your chest.
Sam sighed, "I forgot how alike the two of you are. It's a little disturbing." Sam said, looking between you and Dean.
The three of you were silent for a few moments, "Seriously, are you still having nightmares about Jess?" Dean finally asked, getting back on track.
Sam crossed the room, and sat down on the other bed, handing a coffee to Dean, "Yeah, but it's not just her. It's everything. I just forgot, you know? This job. Man, it gets to you." Sam said.
"You can't let it get to you, Sam." you said coming to sit next to him.
"Yeah, you can't bring it home like that." Dean added.
"So, what? All this it...never keeps you guys up at night?" Sam asked.
"Nope." you said, Dean shaking his head no.
"Never? You guys are never afraid?" Sam asked, reaching under Dean's pillow to pull out a large hunting knife, holding it up as evidence. "And I'm willing to bet there's one on your side, too." he said, looking over at you.
Dean took the knife back. "That's not fear. That is precaution." he said.
You nodded your head, "Yeah, I just call that being smart." you said.
"All right, whatever. I'm too tired to argue with you two." Sam said, Dean's phone ringing seconds later.
"Hello." he said, you and Sam focusing on him. "Oh right, yeah. Up in Kittanning, Pennsylvania...the poltergeist thing. It's not back is it?" Dean asked, and even though you could only hear Dean's side of the conversation you knew who he was talking to. "What is it?" Dean asked again, after a pause, eyeing you as he listened to the response.
"Thanks for making the trip so quick. I ought to be doing you guys a favor, not the other way around. Dean, Y/N, and your dad really helped me out." Jerry said to Sam.
"Yeah, they told me. It was a poltergeist?" Sam asked, the four of you walking to Jerry's office inside of the hangar.
"Poltergeist? Man, I loved that movie." one of the workers said in passing, causing you to chuckle.
"Hey, nobody's talking to you. Keep walking. Damn right it was a poltergeist, practically tore our house apart. Tell you something if it wasn’t for those two and your dad, I probably wouldn't be alive. Your dad said you were off at college. Is that right?" Jerry asked.
"Yeah, I was. I'm...taking some time off." Sam answered.
"Well, he was real proud of you. I could tell. He talked about you all the time." Jerry said.
"He did?" Sam asked, shocked.
"Yeah, you bet he did. Oh, hey you know I tried to get a hold of him but I couldn't. How's he doing, anyway?" Jerry asked.
"Good." you blurted out.
"Yeah, he's, um, wrapped up in a job right now." Dean said.
"Well, we're missing the old man, but we get Sam. Even trade, huh?" Jerry asked, you and Dean laughing.
"No, not by a long shot." Sam replied.
"I got something I want you guys to hear." Jerry said, the four of you now in his office. "I listened to this, and well, it sounded like it was up your alley." he said, putting a cd into a drive. "Normally, I wouldn't have access to this. It's the cockpit voice recorder for United Britannia flight 2485. It was one of ours." Jerry said before the recording started to play.
"Mayday! Mayday! Repeat! This is United Britannia 2485- immediate instruction help! United Britannia 2485, I copy your message- May be experiencing some mechanical failure..." the voice said before a loud whooshing sound.
"Took off from here, crashed about two hundred miles south. Now, they're saying mechanical failure, cabin depressurized somehow. Nobody knows why. Over a hundred people on board, and only seven got out alive. Pilot was one. His name is Chuck Lambert. He's a good friend of mine. Chuck is, uh...well, he's pretty broken up about it, like it was his fault." Jerry said.
"You don't think it was?" Sam asked.
"No, I don't." Jerry said.
"Don't worry, Jerry. We'll figure it out." you said.
"Jerry, we're gonna need passenger manifests, um, a list of survivors." Sam rattled off.
"And, uh, any way we can take a look at the wreckage?" Dean asked.
"The other stuff is no problem, but the wreckage...the NTSB has it locked down in an evidence warehouse. No way I've got that kind of clearance." Jerry said, Dean frowning.
"No problem." Dean said, you cocking your head to the side, wondering what he had planned.
You and Sam were waiting by the car outside of a Copy Jack, Dean finally walking out as an attractive woman was walking in, the two of them taking a few moments to say hello to each other.
"You've been in there forever." Sam said.
Dean held up three IDs, "You can't rush perfection." he said.
You snatched your ID from his hand, "My perfection never takes that long." you sassed, looking down at the ID.
"Homeland Security?" Sam asked, taking his ID.
"Awesome." you excitedly said, "We haven't done this yet."
"That's pretty illegal, even for us." Sam said.
"Yeah, well, like she said, it's something new. You know? People haven't seen it a thousand times." Dean said, smiling a little at how excited you were.
The three of you got in the car, "All right, so what did you guys get?" Dean asked.
"Well, there's definitely EVP on the cockpit voice recorder." Sam said.
"Yeah?" Dean asked.
"Oh, fuck yeah, there is." you said, leaning up from the backseat.
"Listen." Sam said, before playing the recording, a scratchy voice saying "No survivors." playing.
"No survivors? What's that supposed to mean? There were seven survivors." Dean said.
"I know. That's what I said, too." you said.
"Got me." Sam replied.
"So, what are you guys thinking? A haunted flight?" Dean asked.
"Maybe." you said shrugging your shoulders, "I think it's a little early to call it just yet."
"There's a long history of spirits and death omens on planes and ships, like phantom travelers." Sam said, you and Dean both humming in agreement, "or remember flight 401?"
"Right. The one that crashed. The airline salvaged some of it's parts, put it in other planes, then the spirit of the pilot and copilot haunted those flights." Dean said.
"Right." Sam said.
"Well, maybe it's kind of the same thing here, a similar deal." you said.
"All right, so survivors, which one do you guys want to talk to first?" Dean asked.
"Third on the list, Max Jaffey." Sam said.
"Oh, yeah." you said, nodding.
"Why him?" Dean asked.
"Well, for one, he's from around here." Sam said, you quickly jumping in.
"And two, if anyone saw anything weird, he did. This is our fuckin' guy." you said.
"What makes you guys say that?" Dean asked.
"Well, I spoke to his mother." Sam answered, the impala coming to a stop in front of the gate to a building with a sign out front reading RIVERFRONT PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL. "And she told me where to find him."
"This guy has definitely seen some shit." you said, the three of you preparing to interview Max Jaffey.
Max was walking with a cane between Sam and Dean, Dean making sure to keep you close to his side in case any of the crazies, as he called them, got any ideas.
"I don't understand. I already spoke with Homeland Security." Max said.
"Right. Some new information has come up. So, if you could just answer a couple questions..." Dean trailed off.
"We only need a few moments of your time, Mr. Jaffey, and we would greatly appreciate anything you could offer." you said, smiling kindly at him.
"Just before the plane went down, did you notice anything...unusual?" Sam asked.
"Like what?" Max asked.
"Strange lights, weird noises, maybe, voices." Dean said.
"Maybe a strange smell." you added.
"No, nothing." Max said.
"Mr. Joffey." Dean said.
"Jaffey." Max interrupted, correcting him.
"Jaffey. You checked yourself in here, right?" Dean asked, Max nodding his head, "Can I ask why?"
"I was a little stressed. I survived a plane crash." Max said.
"Uh huh, and that's what terrified you? That's what you were afraid of?" Dean asked.
"I...I don't want to talk about this anymore." Max said, clearly uncomfortable.
"See, I think maybe you did see something up there. We need to know what." Dean said.
"No. No, I was...delusional. Seeing things." he said.
"He was seeing things." Dean sassed.
"Mr. Jaffey, we would really appreciate your cooperation." you said.
"It's ok. Just tell us what you thought you saw, please." Sam said.
"There was...this...man, and, uh, he had these...eyes, these, uh...black eyes, and I saw him, or I thought I saw him..." he said, trailing off, your body tensing when he said black eyes, hoping he was wrong.
"What?" Dean asked, eager to know the rest.
"He opened the emergency exit, but that's...that's impossible, right? There's something like two tons of pressure on that door." he said, you shaking your head.
"Fuck." you breathed out, lost in your own thoughts.
"Yeah." Dean said before looking over at you, noticing that you were no longer following along.
"This man, uh, did he seem to appear and disappear rapidly? It would look something like a mirage." Sam said, confusing Max.
"What are you, nuts?" Max asked, Sam tilting his head at the ironic question. "He was a passenger. He was sitting right in front of me."
The Impala pulled up in front of a house, Dean looking at you in the rearview mirror as he cut the engine, wondering why you had been so quiet.
"So, here we are, George Phelps, seat 2c." Sam said.
"Man, I don't care how strong you are." Dean said as the three of you got out of the car. "Even yoked up on PCP or something, no way you can open up an emergency door during a flight." Dean said.
"Not if you're human, but maybe this guy George was something else. Some kind of creature, maybe in human form." Sam said.
"Does that look like a creature's lair to you?" Dean asked Sam before turning to you. "Back me up, Singer." he said, you just shrugging your shoulders as you walked to the door, both Sam and Dean looking after you in concern.
The three of you were sitting around from Mrs. Phelps, Sam looking at a framed photograph, "This is your late husband?" Sam asked.
"Yes, that was my George." she replied.
"And he was a...dentist?" Dean asked.
"Mmm hmm. He was headed to a convention in Denver. Do you know that he was petrified to fly? For him to go like that..." she trailed off.
"How long were you married?" Sam asked, trying to regain her focus.
"Thirteen years." she answered.
"In all that time, did you ever notice anything strange about him, anything out of the ordinary?" Sam asked.
"What about his eyes? Did they ever look funny to you? Black, maybe?" you blurted out, not able to keep the question to yourself.
"No, his eyes were...fine, never black. He, uh, he had acid reflux, though. If that's what you mean?" she said, looking from you to Sam.
The three of you were coming down the stairs out front, you in the lead.
"I mean, it goes without saying. It just doesn't make any sense." Sam said.
"A middle aged dentist with an ulcer is not exactly evil personified." Dean said to Sam before calling out to you, "What's going on with you, Singer?" he asked.
"Nothing." you said, not looking at him.
"Hey." he said, grabbing your arm to stop you, "Come on, something is up with you. You've been weird since we talked to Jaffey, so what's going on with you?" he asked, holding onto you so you couldn't walk away.
"I'm just trying to figure out what's going on. That's it. I'm fine." you said, knowing that he didn't fully believe you.
"You know what we need to do, is get inside that NTSB warehouse, check out the wreckage." Dean said.
"Okay, but if we're going go that route, we'd better look the part." Sam said, looking between you and Dean.
You were leaning against the car, feeling completely out of your comfort zone in your new wardrobe. The black pencil skirt, crisp white shirt, and black fitted blazer weren't something you could ever see yourself wearing voluntarily. The heels were the only thing you felt slightly comfortable in, wearing them to hit the bars whenever you had a night off.
You crossed your arms over your chest, waiting on Sam and Dean to come out of the store they were in. You finally spotted them walking out, each of them wearing a new black suit with a white shirt. You smiled to yourself, thinking how good both of them looked.
"Man, I look like one of the Blues Brothers." Dean said.
"No, you don't. You look more like a seventh grader at his first dance." Sam teased.
"Hey, I look like a secretary from some cheesy porno." you said, twisting your hair up into a bun.
"I think you look really nice, Y/N." Sam said, smiling at you.
"Thanks, Sam. You look really good, too." you said, before looking over to Dean to get his opinion.
"A secretary, huh? Maybe, I can see you in my office later." he said, smirking at you.
You chuckled, "Real funny. Maybe, I'll just come chaperone your dance instead." you said.
Dean shook his head before looking down at himself, "I hate this thing." he said.
"Me too." you said, adjusting your skirt.
"Hey, you guys want into that warehouse or not?" Sam asked.
The three of you walked into the warehouse each of you flashing your badge to the security guard, who nodded and let you in.
You started to walk among the wreckage, Dean reaching into his pocket to pull out a device before placing earbuds in his ears.
"What is that?" Sam asked, eyeing the device.
"It's an EMF meter, reads electromagnetic frequencies." Dean replied.
"Come on, Sam, I know you aren't that rusty." you teased, glancing over at him.
"I know what an EMF meter is, but why does that one look like a busted up Walkman?" Sam asked.
"Cause that's what I made it out of. It's homemade." Dean proudly said, grinning.
"Yeah, I can see that." Sam said, unimpressed, Dean's grin fading.
You walked over to him, "Hey, I think it's fuckin' awesome. You did a good job." you said, as he ran the meter over a piece of wreckage.
"Check out the emergency door handle." Dean said, before scratching off some yellow dust, getting some on his hand. "What is this stuff?" he asked.
You shook your head, despite having a pretty good idea what it was. You didn't want to say anything until you were completely sure that you were right, thinking there was no need to cause a fuss. Especially if you were wrong in the end.
"One way to find out." Sam said, scraping some of the yellow dust into a bag.
"Shh...listen." you said, the sounds of several footsteps echoing, "Yeah, we need to go like fuckin' now." you added, the three of you quickly making an exit.
Sam and Dean peered around the corner, checking to make sure the coast was clear, while you pulled off your heels, unable to run in them. The three of you walked casually around the corner, until an alarm started to blare, kicking all of you into high gear.
Dean took off his suit jacket and tossed it over the barbed wire at the top of the fence, Sam climbing over without a problem.
Dean started to climb over, but stopped when you didn't follow, "Sometime today would be nice, Y/N." he said, looking over his shoulder at you.
"I can't climb over in this fuckin' skirt." you said, tossing your heels over the fence. "It's so tight I can barely take a decent step."
"You better hike that thing up, or do whatever you need to do, but you better get your ass over that fence...NOW." Dean said.
"Just don't look." you said, pulling the skirt up until it bunched around your waist, checking to make sure Dean wasn't looking. "I'm serious, Dean. Close your fuckin' eyes. You too, Sam!" you said, preparing to climb over the fence.
"You commando or something?" Dean asked, managing to keep his focus on your face.
"We were supposed to go to a laundry mat, but then Jerry called, and we've been too busy." you said as you climbed the fence, quickly throwing your leg over and making your way down the other side, yanking your skirt down before picking up your heels.
"Well, these monkey suits do come in handy." Dean said, as he landed on the other side of the fence. "Hey, Singer, I think I got a nickel in my pocket. How much you want bet I can bounce it off-" Dean got out before you took off after him.
"I'm going to fuckin' kill you." you seethed, chasing after him.
The three of you were standing inside of Jerry's office. Sam had given him the yellow substance he had collected at the scene and Jerry was now looking at it under a microscope.
"Huh. This stuff is covered in-" Jerry started to say.
"Sulfur." you finished for him, all three of them looking at you.
"Sulfur." Jerry said, still looking at you.
"How did you know that?" Dean asked.
"Lucky guess." you said, shrugging your shoulders.
"You're sure?" Sam asked Jerry.
"Take a look for yourself." Jerry said, loud banging sounds from outside catching his attention. "If you guys will excuse me. I have an idiot to fire." Jerry said before excusing himself from his office, leaving you, Sam, and Dean behind.
Dean took a look through the microscope for himself, "Hmmm. You know, there's not too many things that leave behind a sulfuric residue." he said to Sam before turning to you, "You want to tell us how you really knew that?"
You sighed, "I had a feeling, ok. I mean, with what Max Jaffey said about the guys eyes, and his strength, then the sulfur. I mean, add it all up and it most likely points to one thing." you said.
"Demonic possession?" Sam asked, you nodding your head.
"It would explain how a mortal man would have the strength to open up an emergency hatch." Dean said, looking to you for your opinion.
"If the guy was possessed, it's possible." Sam answered, instead.
"This goes way beyond floating over a bed or barfing pea soup. I mean, it's one thing to possess a person, but to use them to take down an entire plane?" Dean asked, you keeping quiet.
"You ever heard of something like this before?" Sam asked.
"Never." Dean said before turning to you. "You got anything else you want to share with the class, Singer? Any feelings or lucky guesses?" he asked, and you could tell that he was upset that you didn't speak up earlier.
"Dean, I didn't know fore sure, and I thought it was pointless to throw it out there until I knew." you said, a little defensively.
"How...how did you know?" Sam asked.
"Come on, guys. You know my dad. I was flipping through lore books before I could even read, and when I wanted to learn he taught me. It's basically an evil asshole encyclopedia up here." you said, tapping your temple. "Plus, I've worked a couple of possessions with dad, but this isn't a run of the mill possession, so...I'm not a hundred percent sure exactly what we are dealing with, but a demon of some sort is probably behind it."
The three of you were in the motel, all busy researching after you told them everything you knew on the subject.
"So, every religion in every world culture has the concept of demons and demonic possession, right?" Sam asked, looking up from his computer.
"Yeah, Christian, Native American, Hindu, you name it." you said, looking up from the book you were reading.
"Yeah, but none of them describe anything like this." Dean said.
"Well, that's not exactly true." you started before Sam jumped in.
"According to Japanese beliefs, certain demons are behind certain disasters, both natural and manmade. One causes earthquakes, another causes disease." Sam said, looking between you and Dean.
"And this one causes plane crashes?" Dean asked, standing up from his spot on the bed. "All right, so, what? We have a demon that's evolved with the times and found a way to ratchet up the body count?" he asked.
"Yeah, you know, who know how many planes it's brought down before this one?" Sam asked.
You closed your book, "Well, death and destruction is kind of their gig." you said, Dean snorting as he turned away.
"What?" Sam asked.
"I don't know, guys. This isn't our normal gig. I mean, like Y/N said, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. This is big, and I wish Dad was here." Dean said, obviously stressed.
"Yeah, me too. "Sam said.
"All right, boys, I know we are kinda up shit's creek without a paddle right now, but we all need to put on our fuckin' big girl panties and figure this shit out because I don't think this asshole is done fucking shit up." you said.
"This coming from the person who certainly wasn't wearing her big girl panties today, or any panties if I remember correctly." Dean said, his phone ringing before you could reply.
"Hello." he said, you and Sam both looking at him, only able to hear Dean's side of the conversation. "Oh, hey, Jerry." Dean said, a sick feeling over taking you. "Wha-Jerry...I'm sorry. What happened?" Dean asked.
You and Sam listened to the rest of the one sided conversation, "Another crash?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. Let's go." Dean replied.
"Guess, I was right about it not being done." you said, grabbing your jacket.
"Where?" Sam asked.
"Nazareth." Dean answered.
"And there's the fuckin' irony." you breathed out.
Jerry was looking through the microscope again, even though the three of you knew what the substance was.
"Sulfur?" Dean asked, Jerry nodding his head. "Well, that's great. All right, that's two plane crashes involving Chuck Lambert. This demon sounds like it was after him." Dean said.
"With all due respect to Chuck, if that's the case, that would be the good news." Sam said.
"Yeah, I wouldn't count on that. I don't think the asshole is done." you said.
"What's the bad news?" Dean asked.
"Chuck's plane went down exactly forty minutes into flight, and get this, so did flight 2485." Sam said.
"And you're sure it was forty minutes for both?" you asked.
"Forty minutes? What does that mean?" Jerry asked.
"It's biblical numerology." you replied.
"You know, Noah's ark, it rained for forty days. The number means death." Dean said, going in to more detail.
"I went back and there have been six plane crashes over the last decade that all went down exactly forty minutes in." Sam said.
"Any survivors?" Dean asked.
"No, or not until now, at least, not until flight 2485, for some reason. On the cockpit voice recorder, remember what the EVP said?" Sam asked, you nodding your head.
"No survivors." Dean said before pausing for a moment to think, "It's going after all the survivors."
"Fuck, it's trying to finish the job." you said, shaking your head.
Dean was driving while Sam was finishing up a phone call. You were in the backseat flipping through John's journal.
"Really, well, thank you for taking our survey, and if you do plan to fly, please don't forget your friends at United Britannia Airlines. Thanks." Sam said before hanging up. "All right, that takes care of Blaine Sanderson and Dennis Holloway. They're not flying anytime soon." he said.
"So, our only wildcard is the flight attendant, Amanda Walker?" Dean asked.
"Right. Her sister Karen said her flight leaves Indianapolis at eight pm. It's her first night back on the job." Sam said.
"Indianapolis, really?" you asked, closing the journal. "I really don't know why I'm surprised." you added.
Dean nodded his head, "That sounds like just our luck." he said.
"Dean, this is a five hour drive, man, even with you behind the wheel." Sam said.
"Call Amanda's cell phone again. See if we can't head her off at the pass." Dean said.
"I already left her three voice messages. She must have turned her cellphone off. God, we're never gonna make it." Sam said.
"We'll make it." Dean said, pushing down on the accelerator, determined to make it in time.
Sam looked over his shoulder at you, "Hold on tight, Sam." you said.
The three of you rushed into the airport and checked the departure board, relieved to see that you had made it in time.
"Right there. They're boarding in thirty minutes." Sam said, pointing to the board.
"Okay. We still have some cards to play. We need to find a phone." Dean said, spotting a courtesy phone.
"Airport services." the person on the other end said.
"Hi, gate thirteen." Dean said.
"Who are you calling, sir?" they asked.
"I'm trying to contact an Amanda Walker. She's a flight attendant on flight, uh, flight 424." Dean said.
"Amanda Walker. Amanda Walker, you have a phone call. White courtesy phone, gate thirteen." the PA voice announced.
"Come on." Dean said, growing impatient.
"This is Amanda Walker." she said.
"Miss Walker. Hi, this is Dr. James Hetfield from St. Francis Memorial Hospital. We have a Karen Walker here." Dean said, you and Sam standing back watching.
"Karen?" Amanda asked.
"Nothing serious, just a minor car accident, but she was injured, so-" Dean got out before Amanda interrupted.
"Wh-what? That's impossible. I just got off the phone with her." she said.
Dean paused for a moment, "You what?" he asked.
"Five minutes ago. She's at her house, cramming for a final. Who is this?" Amanda asked.
"Uh, well...there must be some mistake." Dean said.
"And how would you even know I was here?" Amanda asked, you and Sam trying to stand close enough to Dean to hear what was going on. "Is this one of Vince's friends?"
"Guilty as charged." Dean said, shrugging his shoulders and just going along with her.
"Wow. This is unbelievable." Amanda said.
You looked up at Dean and mouthed, "Say he's sorry."
"He's really sorry." Dean said, following your lead.
"Well, you tell him to mind his own business and stay out of my life, okay?" Amanda ordered.
"He's a mess." you mouthed.
"Don't be like that. Come on, the guy's a mess. Really. it's pathetic." Dean said.
"Really?" Amanda asked, you furiously nodding your head.
"Oh, yeah." Dean said.
"Look, I've got to go. Umm...tell him to call me when I land." she said before hanging up.
"No, no. Wait, Amanda. Amanda!" Dean said.
"Fuck." you shouted, a little louder than you meant to, drawing a few stares.
"Damn it! So close." Dean said.
"Well, I guess we have one option left." you said.
Sam nodded his head, "It's time for plan B. We're getting on that plane." he said.
"Yep." you said.
"Whoa, whoa, now just hold on a second." Dean said, wide eyed.
"We don't really have a second, De. We need to haul ass." you said.
"Dean, that plane is leaving with over a hundred passengers on board, and if we're right, that plane is gonna crash." Sam said.
"I know." Dean said.
"Okay, so, we're getting on the plane. We need to find that demon and exorcise it. I'll get the tickets. You and Y/N get whatever will make it through security. Meet me back here in five minutes." Sam said, laying out a game plan.
You nodded your head, and grabbed Dean's arm, ready to pull him back to the car, "Hey, come on. It's gonna be ok." you said, as he stood in one spot looking between you and Sam anxiously.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked.
"No, not really." Dean said.
"What?" What's wrong?" Sam asked.
"Well, I kind of have this problem with, uh..." Dean trailed off.
"Flying." you finished for him before looking over to Sam. "He's scared to fly."
"It's never been a problem until now." Dean said.
"You're joking, right?" Sam asked.
You shook your head, "He's not." you said.
"Do I look like I'm joking? Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?" Dean asked.
"All right, uh, Y/N and I'll go." Sam said.
"Ok, I'll go get what we need and I'll meet you back here. We need to get this show on the road." you said, turning to walk away.
"What?" Dean asked.
"We'll do this one on our own." Sam said.
"We'll be fine, De. Don't worry." you said.
"Don't worry? What are you guys, nuts? You said it yourself, the plane is gonna crash." Dean said, looking between the two of you.
"What else do you want us to do?" you asked.
Sam nodded his head, "Dean, we can do it all together, or Y/N and I can do this one ourselves. I'm not seeing a third option here." Sam said.
"Come on! Really? Fuck." Dean said.
"Flight attendants please cross check doors before departure." the voice over the intercom said.
Dean was in the aisle seat, anxiously reading the safety card while you sat next to him, Sam on the other side of you.
"Just try to relax." Sam said, taking note of how nervous Dean was.
"Just try to shut up." Dean snapped, the plane taking off, Dean jumping at every rumble and sound.
You grabbed his hand and laced your fingers with his, "You're fine." you said, Dean squeezing your hand tightly as you started to hum, laying your head on his shoulder.
"You're humming Metallica?" Sam asked.
"It calms him down." you said, resuming your humming after speaking.
"Dude, did you just sniff her head?" Sam asked.
"W-what? No, that's crazy. I-I was just trying to take a deep breath. You know, relax." Dean lied, a smile coming to your face.
He had let it slip once when he was drunk that he loved the smell of your shampoo. He said it always calmed him down, so you would often lay your head on his shoulder when he was stressed, giving him the opportunity to breathe you in, never mentioning to him that you knew what he was doing.
"Look, man, I get you're nervous, all right? You got to say focused." Sam said.
"Okay." Dean replied.
"I mean, we got thirty two minutes and counting to track this thing down, or whoever it's possessing, anyway, and perform a full on exorcism." Sam said.
"No pressure, huh?" you breathed out, feeling a little nervous that there wasn't going to be enough time.
"Yeah, on a crowded plane. That's gonna be easy." Dean said, still holding onto your hand.
"Let's just take it one step at a time, all right? Now, who is it possessing?" Sam asked.
"Well, usually they go for someone with some sort of weakness. They can worm their way in like that." you said.
"Ok, so somebody with an addiction or some sort of emotional distress." Dean said.
"Yet, another reason for you to try to chill the fuck out. I really don't want this thing jumpin' into you." you said, Dean nodding his head.
"Well, this is Amanda's first flight after the crash. If I were her I'd be pretty messed up." Sam said.
"Yeah, that's true." you said, Dean humming in agreement.
"Excuse me, are you Amanda?" Dean asked the flight attendant next to him.
"No, I'm not." She answered.
"Oh, my mistake." he said, the flight attendant walking away, Dean looking to the back of the plane, "All right, well, that's got to be Amanda back there, so I'll go talk to her, and I, uh, I'll get a read on her mental state." Dean said.
"You sure? I can do it." you said, worried about him.
"I can do it. I...I need to move around." he said, finally releasing your hand.
"What if she's already possessed?" Sam asked.
"There's ways to test that." Dean said, pulling out a bottle of holy water, "I brought holy water."
"Yeah, let's not do that just yet." you said, taking the bottle from him and passing it to Sam.
"I think we can go more subtle. If she's possessed she'll flinch at the name of God." Sam said.
"Oh, nice." Dean said, turning to go to the back.
"Hey." you said, stopping him.
"What?" he asked.
"Say it in Latin." you said.
"I know." Dean said, a little annoyed.
"Hey!" Sam called out.
"What?!" Dean snapped.
"Uh, in Latin, it's Christo." Sam said.
"Guys, I know! I'm not an idiot!" Dean said before making his way to the back of the plane.
You turned in your seat, watching him walk away, "Maybe I should go with him, back him up." you said, starting to rise from your seat.
Sam put his hand on your shoulder, "He can do it." he said, "We need to go over the rest of the plan."
"Fine." you sighed, taking one last look at Dean before turning your attention to Sam, "You got John's journal?" you asked.
"Yeah, here.” Sam said, passing it over to you.
You flipped through the pages until you found what you were looking for, "I'm thinking this should work." you said, passing it back to Sam.
"You think?" Sam asked.
"Sorry, I'm not a fuckin' expert, Sam." you snapped, immediately regretting it, "Sorry, I...demons just weird me out. They...I just really fuckin' hate em', and I want to get this shit done." you said, Dean sitting down next to you before Sam could reply.
"All right, well, she's got to be the most well adjusted person on the planet." Dean said.
"Good for her." you sarcastically said.
"You said Christo?" Sam asked.
"Yeah." Dean replied.
"And?" Sam asked, needing more details.
"There's no demon in her. There's no demon getting in her." Dean replied.
"So, if it's on the plane it can be anyone, anywhere." Sam said, the plane shaking.
"Come on! That can't be normal!" Dean shouted, gripping onto your arm.
"Hey, hey, it's just a little turbulence." Sam said.
"Yeah, it's okay." you said, prying his fingers from your arm.
"Guys, this plane is going to crash, okay? So, quit treating me like I'm fucking four." Dean said.
"Well, stop acting like you're fucking four." you said.
"Yeah, you need to calm down." Sam said.
"Well, I'm sorry. I can't." Dean said, reaching for your hand.
"Yes, you can." Sam said.
"Dude, stow the touchy feely, self help yoga crap. It's not helping." Dean said.
"Listen, if you're panicked, you're wide open to demonic possession, so you need to calm yourself down, right now." Sam warned.
"Fuck, he's right, Dean, just breath or something." you said.
"Yeah, cause that has helped me. I've been breathing this whole fuckin' time in case you hadn't noticed." Dean sassed.
"God damn it." you said under your breath before turning in your seat to face him, "You owe me."
"For what?" Dean asked, confused.
"For the drastic measures I'm about to take to save your ass." you said, grabbing his shirt and pulling him to you, crashing your lips to his.
You felt him tense up for a moment, his lips not moving as if he were in a state of shock. You started to pull back, thinking that you may have crossed a line, but before you could pull away you felt his hand on the back of your neck, holding you in place.
The kiss quickly started to heat up, Dean's tongue running along your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You opened your mouth, Dean wasting no time deepening the kiss.
Sam cleared his throat loudly, "Guys." he said.
You pulled away from Dean, "Sorry, Sam." you said, before focusing your attention on Dean. "You good now? You calm?" you asked.
Dean took a long, slow breath, "I'm so fuckin' good." he said, his words coming out a little breathy.
You tapped his cheek a couple of times, "You're welcome." you said.
Sam cleared his throat again, "Good. Now, we found an exorcism in here that we think will work. The Rituale Romanum." Sam said to Dean.
"What do we have to do?" Dean asked.
"Well...it's two parts." you started, Sam jumping in to say the rest.
"The first part expels the demon from the victim's body. It makes it manifest which actually makes it more powerful." Sam explained.
"More powerful?" Dean asked.
"Yep." you said, popping the p.
"How?" Dean asked.
"Well, it doesn't need to possess someone anymore. It can just wreak havoc on its own." Sam said.
"Oh, and why is that a good thing?" Dean asked.
"Well, cause the second part sends that fucker back to hell once and for all." you said.
Dean nodded his head, "First things first, we got to find it." Dean said before standing up to walk the aisle with his EMF meter, getting odd looks, but no readings.
You and Sam walked up behind him, you clapping him on the shoulder causing him to jump, "Ah! Don't do that." Dean scolded.
"Sorry." you said.
"Anything?" Sam asked.
"No, nothing. How much time do we got?" Dean asked.
"Fifteen minutes. Maybe, we missed somebody." you said, looking around at the other passengers.
"Maybe the things just not on the plane." Dean said, causing you to scoff.
"You believe that?" Sam asked.
"Well, I will if you guys will." Dean said, looking down as the EMF meter spiked, the copilot exiting the bathroom and heading towards the cockpit.
"Christo." you blurted out, the copilot slowly turning to face you, his eyes black, "Fuck." you whispered as he went into the cockpit.
The three of you headed to the back of the plane towards Amanda.
"She's not gonna believe this." Sam said.
"We don't really have a choice, Sam." you said.
"Yeah, twelve minutes, dude." Dean said.
"Oh, hi, flight's not too bumpy for you, I hope." Amanda said to Dean.
"Actually, that's kind of what we need to talk to you about." Dean said, Sam closing the curtain behind you.
"Um, okay. What can I do for you?" Amanda asked.
"All right, this is gonna sound nuts, but we just don't have the time for the whole truth is out there speech right now." Dean said.
"Look, we just really need you to listen to us right now, and for you to keep an open mind." you added.
"All right, look, we know you were on flight 2485." Sam said, the friendly smile Amanda had disappearing.
"Who are you guys?" she asked.
"That's not important right now." you said.
"Now, we've spoken to some of the other survivors. We know something brought down that plane and it wasn't a mechanical failure." Sam said.
"We need your help because we need to stop it form happening again, here. Now." Dean said.
"I'm sorry, I-I'm very busy. I have to go back-" she said as she tried to brush past Dean, who stopped her.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. I'm not gonna hurt you, okay? Listen to me. Uh...the pilot on 2485, Chuck Lambert. He's dead." Dean said.
"Wait, what? Chuck is dead?" she asked.
"He died in a plane crash. Now, that's two plane crashes in two months. That doesn't strike you as a little fuckin' strange?" you asked.
"Look, there was something wrong with 2485. Now, maybe you sensed it, maybe you didn't, but there's something wrong with this flight, too." Sam said.
"Amanda you have to believe us." Dean said.
"On...on 2485, there was this man. He...had these eyes." Amanda said.
"Black eyes?" you asked, Amanda nodding her head.
"Yes. That's exactly what we're talking about." Sam said.
"I don't understand. What are you asking me to do?" Amanda asked.
"Okay. The copilot, we need you to bring him back here." Dean said.
"Why? What does he have to do with anything?" Amanda asked.
"Oh, come on, lady." you said, frustrated.
"Don't have time to explain. We just need to talk to him, okay?" Dean said.
"How am I supposed to go in the cockpit and get the copilot?" she asked.
"Do whatever it takes. Tell him there's something broken back here, whatever will get him out of that cockpit." Sam said.
"Do you know that I could lose my job if you-" she started to say before you interrupted.
"Jesus Christ, lady! You're job is the last thing you should be worrying about." you said, your patience for her gone.
"Look, you're gonna lose a lot more if you don't help us out." Dean said.
Amanda hesitated for a moment, "Okay." she said, leaving and making her way to the cockpit.
"All right, boys. Here they come." you said, Sam pulling out the holy water, and Dean passing over John's journal to him.
"Yeah, what's the problem?" the copilot asked.
Dean punched him in the face, and knocked him down. The two of you pinned him down, you holding his legs down while Dean managed to put duct tape over his mouth.
"Wait? What are you doing? You said you were just gonna talk to him." Amanda said.
"Relax lady." you said, struggling to keep the copilot still.
"We are gonna talk to him." Dean said, splashing holy water on him, his skin sizzling.
"Oh, my God. What's wrong with him?" she asked.
"Get her the fuck out of here, Sam." you snapped.
"Look, we need you calm. We need you outside the curtain." Sam said.
"Well, I don't underst- I don't know." she stammered out.
"Don't let anybody in, okay? Can you do that? Can you do that, Amanda?" Sam asked.
"Okay. Okay." she said before leaving.
"Hurry up, Sam. I don't know how much longer we can hold him." Dean said.
"Regna terrae, Cantate Deo, psalute Domino-" Sam said, stopping when the demon broke free, hitting both boys until you and Dean managed to subdue him again.
Sam picked up where he left off, until the demon knocked both you and Dean off again and pulled the tape from his mouth, reaching to grab Sam by the collar.
"I know what happened to your girlfriend. She must have died screaming. Even now, she's burning." the demon said before turning to you, "And you, oh, we have plans for you." he said, Dean recovering and hitting the demon.
"Sam!" you and Dean shouted, you now trying to help Dean hold him down.
Sam recovered and began reading again. He put the book down, and helped the two of you pin down the demon, who kicked the book up the aisle.
"I got him." Sam said, the demon exiting the copilot's body and disappearing into a vent.
"Where'd it go?" Sam asked.
"It's in the plane." Dean said.
"Fuck, boys. We gotta hurry up and finish this. We're running out of time." you said.
The plane suddenly dipped and heaved violently, Sam struggling to retrieve the book as Dean splayed himself against the exit door, screaming, while you were pressed to his chest, his arms coming to wrap around you.
Sam managed to grab the book and read the rest of the exorcism, a bright electrical charge running through the entire plane when he finished, the plane leveling out soon after.
Dean was breathing heavily, holding onto you so tight that you could hardly breathe, "De...I...can't breathe." you said, Dean loosening his hold a little.
The passengers from the flight were disembarking to an area, milling with uniformed agents, paramedics, FBI, FAA, and so on. The copilot was seated in a wheelchair, a blanket wrapped around him, being questioned by an FAA agent.
Amanda spotted the three of you across the way and mouthed thank you, the three of you nodding at her.
"Let's get out of here." Dean said, as the three of you headed to the exit. "You okay?" he asked Sam.
"Dean, it knew about Jessica, and it said they had plans for Y/N." Sam said.
"Sam, these things, they...they read minds. They lie, all right. That's all it was." Dean said.
"He's right, Sam. Those assholes will say whatever they can to get inside your head. They just like fuckin' with people." you said, not revealing that you were scared about what it had said about you.
"Yeah." Sam said.
"Come on." Dean said, urging you and Sam to follow.
"Nobody knows what you guys did, but I do. A lot of people could have been killed." Jerry said, shaking each of your hands. "Your dad's gonna be real proud. Yours too, Y/N." he said.
"We'll see you around, Jerry." Sam said.
"Maybe wait a little while before the next call." you teased.
"You know, Jerry." Dean said.
"Yeah." Jerry replied.
"I meant to ask you, how did you get my cellphone number, anyway? I've only had it for like six months." Dean said.
"Your dad gave it to me." Jerry said.
"What?" you and Sam asked in unison.
"You talked to John?" you asked.
"When did you talk to him?" Dean asked before Jerry could answer you.
"I mean, I didn't exactly talk to him, but I called his number. His voice message said to give you or Y/N a call. Thanks again, guys." Jerry said before walking away.
"This doesn't make any sense, guys. I've called Dad's number like fifty times. It's been out of service." Sam said, as Dean dialed John's number, all of you crowding around the phone to listen.
"This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency call my son, Dean (785) 555-0179 or Y/N Singer (785) 555-0726. They can help." John said.
Sam was fuming as he got into the car, you and Dean both looking after him.
"What the fuck in going on, De?" you asked.
"I wish I knew, Sweetheart." he said, as the two of you got into the car, hoping that the next case would provide some much needed answers.
Tags: @22sarah08 @miraclesoflove
#supernatural#series rewrite#dean x reader#dean winchester#sam winchester#supernatural fic#supernatural reader insert#supernatural fanfiction#dean x you#reader insert#dean#spn fic#spn
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Good Jokes
Chapter 4
Later that day, Tommy did two things to make Gordon’s life a little easier.
Item one: he did end up trapping Benrey under a fire door. It was an accident. Totally. Tommy knew it wasn’t a permanent fix, but it would at least get the entity out of their hair for a few hours while he regenerated a body. In the meantime, they could make their way through the facility much quicker.
Item two: he stopped calling Gordon by his first name.
Dr. Coomer had been firing off a cheerful, “Hello, Gordon!” every few minutes and it was driving the new guy nuts. He was sick to death of his own name. Tommy realized he had subconsciously discarded the word ‘Gordon’ to spare his sanity and now found himself casting around for a replacement.
‘Freeman’ felt blasé. Lazy. Like something Benrey would call him, if he ever bothered to call anyone anything. ‘Dr. Freeman’ made Tommy feel the same way ‘Dr. Coolatta’ did. It was ostentatious. Distinguished. Not at all a fit for Gordon - Tommy had a feeling he knew how to misbehave.
...Mister? Mr. Freeman? That made him sound like a high school history teacher. It was… hilarious, honestly. He couldn’t picture this maniac with a crowbar lecturing at the front of a classroom if he tried. And Gordon didn’t strike Tommy as someone pretentious enough to correct him on the title. He was sharp enough to appreciate the joke. Provided he wasn’t too stressed out to catch it.
The first time he called him that, Gordon accepted it without comment, did a double take, and gave Tommy a questioning, brows-raised look. Mister? He mouthed. But, as predicted, he didn’t correct him. Tommy could not keep the shit-eating grin off his face. The name stuck.
The military showed up, with their artillery and their uniforms and their brief stint of hope, but they were just as bloodthirsty as the aliens, gunning the researchers in Black Mesa down like prey animals. Were these three men he ran with the only people Tommy could trust? No, not even that, the only people who didn’t outright want him dead? It sure was starting to seem like that. He steeled his nerves for further violence as they pushed on.
Reaching the surface was a short-lived victory. Tommy caught a fleeting glimpse of the red canyon walls, the searing blue sky, before government ordered ammunition rained down on them and forced them below ground again like rats. His heart ached. He wanted to taste the sun on his face. Feel the desert sand radiating its latent heat. Following his team into the cold metal belly of Black Mesa once more was probably the hardest thing he’d done that day.
Benrey didn’t stay gone for long, materializing in the form of a skeleton while his flesh was piecing itself together particle by particle in another dimension. He was practically haunting the group, revealing himself only to Gordon and slowly driving him insane. Tommy could see him, as well, but he ignored the entity. If he was this desperate for attention, he would have to try a little harder to gain any from him.
He later got the attention he craved via dozens of slugs of lead. Bubby and Coomer quickly took out the skeleton as soon as it visibly approached them, and Gordon had promptly passed out seconds later. Tommy rested his hands on his waist, surveying the mess and shaking his head. They were too close to the military threat right now to justify resting here.
God, he was bone tired, though. They had been running hard for at least a day now. It was honestly a miracle Gordon hadn’t lost consciousness sooner. He drew in a deep breath, casting a cursory look at his remaining companions.
“Do you think we can get him out of here?” he asked.
Bubby wiped a spatter of blood from his jaw and shrugged. “I’m not carrying him,” he grumbled.
“We could roll him like a barrel,” Dr. Coomer suggested blithely.
As funny as that would be, it was probably best not to give Gordon any more blunt force trauma than he had already taken today. Falling down a staircase because your coworkers pushed you would be a pretty idiotic way to die, especially after everything Gordon had survived already. Tommy removed his lab coat and passed it off to Bubby, who passed it off to Coomer.
After he neatly rolled up his sleeves, picking up Gordon wasn’t hard for Tommy to do. It was just a matter of nudging the rules of weight and mass a little to his advantage. Tommy never broke reality; he just leaned on it occasionally until it gave enough ground for him to do what he wanted. Gordon’s limp head lolled against his chest as he hefted him in his arms. He did his best not to pay attention to that.
“Fine lifting, Tommy!” Dr. Coomer exclaimed.
Tommy nodded in thanks, grateful that the old boxer didn’t get hung up on the details of the implausible. Bubby, however, had a question on his face, studying Tommy carefully as he stood there carrying a man who had fifty pounds on him, at least. But he didn’t ask, so Tommy didn’t answer.
He cast one last look at the pile of Benrey bones on the floor. He’d catch up later.
“Let’s go,” he said.
They pressed on wearily in search of a sheltered place. Tommy carried Gordon like the precious cargo he was, fully appreciating that the other man wasn’t conscious for this. Otherwise he’d surely hear how loudly his heart was pounding against his ribs.
I’ve got you, Tommy thought. You’re safe.
---
A new sense of normalcy elbowed into their lives. The following day, the team worked its way in a wide arc through an unexplored section of Black Mesa, dodging aliens and soldiers alike as they went. It had only taken 24 hours for the reality of fighting for their lives to settle in, and while they were all still pretty haggard from the previous day’s events, everyone seemed to be handling themselves a little better after a night’s rest and some time to process.
Gordon had improved more than anyone. After dealing with the shock of the Resonance Cascade and watching his world turn on its ear, he had concluded that the only way out was through, and he would be the one to get them there. His words were still a rapid-fire tangle of his unfiltered thoughts, but Tommy could see his decisions growing more critical, his actions more confident as they worked their way toward freedom.
Good thing, too. Tommy was beginning to sense a strangeness in the air the deeper they explored Black Mesa. A warping of the space around them, a stretching of the threads of time. Someone, somewhere, had grabbed a towline and yanked, and Tommy could sense it yanking him, too. It felt…bad. It felt wrong.
He tried to explain as much to the team, now that their soundness of mind was relatively more stable than it was yesterday. But it was hard to verbalize the concept of reality shifting like a tectonic plate to people whose top priorities were not getting eaten or shot. “I think time might be expanding and contracting,” was what Tommy said. “I think you might be having a caffeine overdose,” was Gordon’s troubled reply.
Alright. If nobody wanted to believe him, Tommy wasn’t going to waste his energy making them. He trailed behind the group, as was his habit, and quietly did his best to keep his companions alive.
On the upside, with Gordon feeling more normal, Tommy’s jokes were starting to land again. As they uncovered more and more horrifying secrets hidden in the intestines of Black Mesa, Tommy could feel his own sarcasm reaching astronomical levels just to cope.
What the hell were they doing down here? Tommy had been aware of the planar research the facility was conducting, but seriously? A freezer full of human flesh? Ethically questionable cybernetic experiments? Vats of toxic waste, just out there in the open? The absurdity of it all would almost strike him as funny if their circumstances weren’t so dire.
Bubby met it all with grim acceptance and Dr. Coomer seemed wholly oblivious. Only Gordon was reeling with the same amount of consternation that Tommy was experiencing, exchanging glances with him that asked, What the fuck? What the actual fuck?
Dr. Coomer, who was rapidly gaining Tommy’s respect by going toe to toe with their enemies boxing style, kept worrying about his ‘green goop’ allergy anytime they were near the nuclear waste. Tommy honestly wasn’t sure if he was serious or not, and he fought down a snicker whenever it was mentioned. In a way, everyone was allergic to nuclear waste. If you really thought about it.
Gordon eventually raised a concern about their exposure to radiation. Little late there, bud, Tommy wanted to say, but Bubby beat him to the punch with an acidic, “It’s just brain cancer, you can live with that.”
“I don’t thi - hm,” Gordon said.
“I don’t think you can live with that,” Coomer agreed.
Gordon paused, then reconsidered. “I mean, you guys have shown me you - your superhuman potential, so maybe you can,” he said. “Maybe you can. I’m willing to believe… quite about anything right now, so.”
Tommy rolled his eyes as he hopped easily up to the pipeline they had been following. Anything except time being altered, apparently. He tried not to hold it against him. Baby steps. Tommy gazed down at Gordon and jerked his chin for him to follow.
“The cybernetics department was very well funded, Gordon,” Dr. Coomer informed him brightly as he clambered up the pipe.
Well funded? Tommy couldn’t keep the snark out of his voice. “Yeah,” he agreed dryly, “they even gave us these flashlights.”
Gordon, after clearing a gap, turned to give Tommy a puzzled look.
He smirked and indicated his perfectly ordinary flashlight. “They’re Weather Channel brand, you just kinda turn a crank and they go.”
Gordon’s laugh, genuine and sweet, rang through the chamber, and Tommy was surprised at the relief that washed over him when he heard it. If Gordon was feeling well enough to take a joke, they were on the right track. They were doing okay. He smiled and kept moving forward, hope fluttering in his chest.
The nuclear reactor that was actively leaking waste was so mind-numbingly ridiculous, so pointlessly and blatantly dangerous, that Tommy barked out a short “ha!” of a laugh when he rounded the corner. The sheer amount of radiation exposure this facility possessed was unheard of. It was a miracle they didn’t all have massive brain damage. Okay, well. Maybe that was up for debate.
“This place is huge,” Gordon remarked.
“Yup!” Tommy proclaimed, eyeing the acid green sludge with a mystified grin. “And it’s all built to code. The U.S. lets us do this. This is all to regulation.” He raised his arm in a dramatic, sweeping gesture, unable to contain his mirth. “Everything.”
Gordon began chuckling. “I mean, I’m not too worried about the government right now,” he reasoned, before his attention was stolen away by the animals that were swimming in the murk. He popped a few rounds off with his handgun, marveling at the beasts’ ability to survive in such a toxic environment.
Tommy was too pleased with himself to even bother acting like they were a threat. “Those creatures aren’t from the - from the incident,” he continued. “Those were here. That’s also to regulation. You’re allowed… five percent.”
He was barely keeping his tone even and Gordon was doing an amused little exhale through his nose as he tried to hold in his laughter.
“We’ve been breeding them for twenty years to eat radioactive waste,” Dr. Coomer added, eyes twinkling with mischief as he played along.
Tommy had never wanted to high five another person so badly in his life.
Dr. Coomer didn’t even manage to ruin the mood by dying, twice, in rapid succession. He miraculously reappeared only seconds later, when they had all regrouped on a catwalk about three stories above the pit of waste. Tommy arched a quizzical eyebrow at the old man. Coomer simply shrugged. Huh. He sure wasn’t kidding about the cybernetics department being well funded.
Gordon, who was already questioning his own sanity, didn’t even ask about it. Benrey was back, of course. Hovering around the group like the disembodied fuck he was. Tommy let his gaze slide away from him like water anytime he was in his line of sight, but Gordon couldn’t shake the spectre from his mind as it floated only paces behind them. He had been doing a well enough job of pretending the entity wasn’t there until Benrey fired a nine millimeter round at him.
“Okay,” Gordon declared, finally snapping. “There is something fucked up going on.” He cast a nervous eye in the skeleton’s direction.
Bubby and Coomer looked perplexed, while Tommy just folded his arms. He was ignoring Benrey for everyone’s sake - the more attention he got the more powerful he became - but a small part of him was just being petty. Oh, Gordon wanted everyone to believe something unlikely was happening? But nobody took his word for it? Wonder what that felt like.
Gordon kept talking as he pointed at Benrey. “There is an invisible assailant. I want you guys to believe me - I need you guys to believe me.” His tone took on a pleading edge, and it was too much for Tommy to leave him hanging anymore. “There’s - okay - th-”
“I mean, aside from the extra creatures,” Tommy interrupted him, “I’m just seeing normal nuclear power plant stuff, Mr. Freeman. You’re starting to concern me.”
Gordon’s nervous words stuttered into a chuckle. While he turned aside to contain himself, Tommy sliced a chilly stare toward the simpering skull a few yards away. Shoot at him again and see what happens.
Benrey’s returning gaze was icy. But he hung back.
The group assured Gordon that he was not, in fact, losing his mind (“Could just be the radiation,” Bubby offered), and kept going until they reached a door with a label so weathered it was almost unreadable. Gordon, with newfound confidence, gave Tommy a roguish grin as soon as he saw it.
“What does this say?” He asked, even teeth flashing prettily. “This is another one of those fucked up things like the break room. I can't read this.”
Tommy let out a quiet, surprised breath. The fact that Gordon was referencing the moment they met at a time like this made him feel amused and touched in equal measure. Heat rose from his collarbones to his cheeks as he returned his smile. Wait, he had asked him a question, hadn’t he? He squinted at the door and realized he could actually decipher it.
“This says-”
“Prolapse?” Gordon guessed cheekily, and Tommy almost choked on his own laughter.
“Pro Lab Engine Testing,” he managed to gasp out, right before the door opened and a ghoulish creature lunged at them.
Dr. Coomer was on the thing in a blink, knocking it out with a heavy-knuckled blow to the cranium before it could even touch anyone. They all gave the old scientist an impressed look before stepping around the corpse and through the entrance.
“I’ve never been in here,” Tommy commented as he ducked under the doorway. “They only let me into the Scrub Lab.”
Gordon laughed like a bell tower. It rang straight through his heart.
Tommy was never one for drugs, but Gordon Freeman’s sunshine smile made him understand why some people were. Every time he saw it he wanted more, and hearing Gordon’s laughter was quickly becoming addicting.
Awfully inconvenient of Armageddon to happen right when he was getting to know the guy. He should be asking him for his number, not checking to see how many bullets he’d taken. Well, Tommy thought with resolve, all the more reason to get him out of here alive.
Chapter 3 <-----> Chapter 5
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Hi! Once you get this you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, then send this to ten of yourself favorite followers (nonnegotiable) SPREAD POSITIVITY! 💌🥰
Ah! You’ve caught me with the very thing I find so hard to do; list things I like about myself!
Erm, right, I’ll try. Argh. Okay
1. I’m quite quick off-the-cuff with comebacks/remarks that often make people laugh? Most of the time. I’m not saying there haven’t been people who have been highly unamused by my dry observations and ever-so-wonderful wit, but for the most part, it’s had positive reviews. But yeah, I’m very rarely lost for words in general, which I personally like. Even if other people would prefer I keep my mouth shut
2. I’m a good writer and a good actor. I’m forcing myself to write this here, because, as with all creatives, I am riddled with self-doubt and self-judgement and this pandemic is not helping in any way shape or form. But I’m reminded myself that, for the most part, everyone likes my writing, and I’ve had really get comments and compliments etc from casting directors, directors etc about my acting. And I have to remind myself of that consciously I think. Because otherwise I think I’m shit and every job I’ve gotten is pure coincidence or something.
3. Animals love me. Like really. Like as in dogs have tried to go home with me in the park and it’s very awkward to be like ‘Sorry, owner, but your little dachshund pup loves me more after seeing me for 2 minutes’. But seriously, I do get on with all animals, and they always come over to me. I remember being sat in Gramercy Park once, reading, and a bird landing on my foot. I’ve rescued and released many mice from my over-enthusiastic cat, and they’re always so sweet as they put them in a cup. And if any of my cats are in a panic about a noise it’s me they come to. I remember once when my friend had a new puppy, me and another friend went round to see her, and the puppy ran past my friend and straight to me. I feel very appreciated and loved by animals and that is nice.
4.I stand up for myself (and others if they need). I have my own thoughts and feelings and opinions and I’m not afraid to stand up for them. I was 20 when I was arguing with major politicians in a town meeting, and then in high school I stormed into my Head’s office over a ridiculously bias issue, I remember arguing with a teacher when I was nine years old because she was teaching us something I knew was wrong (I came in the next day with a book to prove it). Though I have been bullied throughout school (by one girl in fucking particular, who slammed my head on concrete when I was 4 years old and she was fucking 7) I was always determined not to be frightened of them; I didn’t take time off school, and I fought back, whether physically, verbally, or going ‘fuck this’ and walking off. When the Disney Store was saying we had to work TWO HOURS after our shift ended without being paid for it, I outright refused, and when they threatened to fire me, I made the point of unpaid labour and labour laws in general etc and even though no other staff member backed me up, I stood my ground
5. I’m up for anything. Like I’m always ready to try new things, go to new places, meet new people, whatever. I am that person who is like ‘sure, why the hell not?’. I like to have fun and if someone wants company for something they’re doing, sure I’ll do that. Unless it’s like jumping in a bath of arañas, because then you are very much on your own. But I remember one of my friends telling me that the first time she met me, within ten minutes she was thinking ‘this woman is completely insane’, but it also made her feel instantly at ease, so I like being that person. The one who is bold enough to just throw herself out there, give things a go, and so everyone else feels less nervous.
OKAY SO THIS TOO FOR-EV.ER
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Evak Fics - Cheating
** Cheating when they're in a relationship with someone else
** One of them cheats when Isak and Even are together 😞
** Others: Cheating with a twist, or emotional cheating, or they didn't cheat but was cheated on.
** Bonus: Lighter fics
***** CHEAT ON SOMEONE ELSE *****
We Can't Keep Doing This by neelabrenner (563 words) - Isak and Even are in their thirties. They love each other deeply, and they are married - but not to each other. Life keeps bringing them together, and they let themselves be lead.
Worth it by ForEvenAndEver (yuraxchan) (842 words) - Love is always worth it, no matter what.
bruise by evak1isak (1.5k words) - Isak is not out in high school. However, this doesn't prevent him from getting a boyfriend. A boyfriend, who, in theory, is in a relationship with a girl.
Artificial and Colored by stormboxx (1.5k words) - Even and Isak stay in the room for the whole day. Well, almost. Right after the scene 'Hjernen er alene' ('The brain is alone')
Neon Party: Redux by givemesumaurgravy (1.7k words) - what if Noora didn’t come home and interrupt our lovely babies the night of the neon party when they almost kissed in the kitchen?
We're something she can't see by suckmyboardbxtch (1.8k words) - Even and Isak have a little place where they can meet and fall in love with each other, even though Isak is Even's second.
whose world is this by withoutwords (1.8k words) - It’s the same Isak who does his own laundry, and cooks his own dinner, and calls his dad for money. But now he kisses boys.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. by withoutwords (2.2k words) - The walk back to school is long. His head and his feet and his bag feel heavier, and his skin burns with the thought of people staring. Strangers and students and friends all staring, like he has it printed big and bold across his forehead. Homo. Home Wrecker. Loser.
Home by endlessandinfinite (2.8k words) - Isak tastes like happiness. Even tastes like trouble. These are the moments that matter. These are the moments they live for. And Isak is home.
never make him (love me) by eliottlallemants (14k words) - Isak is in love with Even. Even isn't in love with Isak. Or so Even thinks.
If You're Under Him [You Ain't Getting Over Him] by givemesumaurgravy (SERIES, 4 fics) (15k words) - Isak Valtersen is happy. He's finally starting his surgical rotation at the hospital where he hopes to work someday and he's happily married to his best friend. But then Isak meets Even, the intriguing new barista where he gets his daily coffee.
After Hours by rokklagio (SERIES, 5 fics) (15k words) - Even was a habit he just couldn't quit. Set ten years later.
I’ll Love You Forever by shk_1991 (16k words) - Isak and Chris are young and in love in their early 20's, they are going to get married and got their long life in front of them. But then it goes wrong and suddenly all their dreams are gone. Not only for Isak and Chris but also for Sonja and Even. Sonja and Even are in their late 30’s and live in a happy marriage with three children. Their marriage is put to the test when Even falls in love with Isak. The question is whether Even and Isak are ready to give up everything for their love.
You'll Kill Me If You Stop by photographer_of_thoughts (22k words) - Isak decides to go and see the film 'Call Me By Your Name' because he can't turn off his own feelings that have been building for a long time now. He thinks he won't see anyone he knows there because this isn't the kind of film his friends or anyone from Nissen would appreciate. But then he sits next to Even, who is also seeing the film alone.
don't you keep it all to yourself by colazitron (24k words) - AU in which Even didn't need to repeat his last year and instead started working at the coffeeshop Isak passes on his way to school every morning.
A Force of Nature by Laika_the_husband (30k words) - In this story Isak Valtersen is a cheating bastard. He will hurt his wife, his lover and himself in the process.
The Workings of Love by endlessandinfinite (36k words) - “So, you’re in love with me.” Isak nods. “And you’re in love with him.” Isak nods. Jonas laughs humorlessly again.
Legitimate Expectations by champagneleftie (57k words) - It's a good time to be Isak Valtersen. The up-and-coming Norwegian authority on matters of freedom of press, several Supreme Court wins already on his resume - and still barely thirty. He's carved out a place in the world that he never thought he'd reach, but sometimes that place just feels a little too small and rigid. Enter Even.
Only You Can Ease My Mind by martls (85k words) - Or the alternate universe where Isak meets Even at the psychiatric hospital his mom was admitted.
***** CHEAT ON EACH OTHER 😞 *****
all my tears have been used up by wolfsbanex (707 words) - He'd lost the only part of his life that made it worth living because of a couple random fucks. How ridiculous.
When We Were Young by thoughtsafterdark (2k words) - Even and Isak broke up 10 years ago. Isak had just gotten back from New York and his friend Magnus is throwing him a welcome home party. Isak had said specifically NOT to invite Even and Magnus still did.
Liars by endlessandinfinite (3.5k words) - They’re okay. They’re beautiful and tragic and out of control. They lie and cheat - living with broken hearts. But this is it. This is their life.
I can hear your heart crying out for me by Skamtrash (6.1k words) - Isak never thought one intoxicated experience could fuck his life up so much. Isak cheats on Even.
Shatter Me by givemesumaurgravy (6.6k words) - “I’m not going to yell or any of that. I’m just going to make this really fucking awkward and uncomfortable for you.” “W-what?” Even says, sniffling. “I want you to tell me everything that happened,” Isak says.
look how fast the night changes by Skamtrash (7.3k words) - Isak cheats on Even, there's no alcohol, no intoxication. Just a seriously stupid decision.
Im So In Love I Dont Know What To Do by Skamtrash (9.5k words) - Even screwed up when he was drunk and cant hold out from telling Isak any longer.
If It Makes You Happy (Modern Boys part two) by Laika_the_husband (41k words) - Part 2 of Modern Boys series. You should totally read part 1 before this. Set in the 90s. Isak is torn between familiar but unattainable Jonas and dangerous but perfect Even.
Love is a battlefield by Minutebyminute (56k words) - Isak and Even have been drifting apart for a long time. Love conquers all. Love defeats all. Sometimes love pulls you apart. Sometimes for a period in time, sometimes forever. And sometimes love is a battlefield.
All Stories Are Echoes by sebastianL (felix_atticus) (123k words) - This is about potential--realized or not--memory, bravery, movies, accidents, and the nature of stories. Also love, because what other kind of story could it be?
***** OTHERS *****
The lie I didn’t have to tell. by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (925 words) - Isak has an adultery kink that Even is happy to oblige.
Just This Once by writeawaydays (3.1k words) - Isak finds out his boyfriend has been cheating on him, so he invites the cute guy that's been watching him at school up to his apartment looking for rebound sex.
The Boy Who Likes Isak's Smile by wyoheartsmusic (7.6k words) - Isak is heartbroken and there is a boy who is very determined to make him smile.
Lyrics and Life by Midlifecrisis (7.9k words) - Not sure how to describe this one. Established relationship. Cheating and not cheating? They are very much in love.
Just not right now by cuteandtwisted (8.1k words) - No cheating but maybe emotional cheating? Ish? "You can't... We can't.. It's not right." Isak settles into an unhealthy longterm relationship with his busy lawyer boyfriend and convinces himself that happiness is not for him. Enter his boyfriend's childhood friend: Even.
I Dare You to Love Me by photographer_of_thoughts (8.4k words) - Isak and Even do not meet in high school but they do meet at Isak's wedding...to someone else. But there's no cheating. based on the movie "Imagine Me and You"
(WIP) On the Edge of the Night by Laika_the_husband - So this is a complicated one. This story will explore Isak, Jonas and Even from high school to adulthood. There will be no good people here. Nor bad people. Just people. Every protagonist is also an antagonist, and themselves are their greatest enemies.
something sweet (to mend your heart) by cuteandtwisted (22k words) - In which Isak becomes jaded after he gets cheated on and copes using sarcasm and humor. He's determined to end the school year without drama and avoids his ex and all his awful friends at all costs. Well, all of them except maybe half-decent Even Bech Næsheim, who's somehow determined to earn his friendship and fix his heart.
Self Control by nofeartina (28k words) - “I never meant to hurt you, Isak.” Without any pause Isak replies, “Well, you did.” He looks him in the eyes, and continues. “You fucked me up, Even." 10 years later Even comes back to Oslo and Isak has a boyfriend. No cheating but maybe some emotional cheating. Kinda.
Reflections by Laika_the_husband (30k words) - Isak and Even break up and Isak gets a new boyfriend. But Even is very much still in the picture.
No day without it by skambition (32k words) - His hair was a little shorter than Even was used to, and his face had gotten even more beautiful over the last 10 years. The same amazing cheek bones, the same cute little nose, the same flawless, pale skin. And his lips. Those goddamn lips. They brought back memories that Even had tried to forget about for like 10 years now, memories of laughing, smiling, kissing.
and this mist, it makes it hard to see by vesperthine (36k words) - Emotional cheating mostly. In a way, it was escapism. In others, not so much. But Even has only been there for three months when Isak shows up. And it makes a mess out of everything, while other things settle into place.
what i like about you by cammm (44k words) - Insane infatuations turns into a short lived mutual distaste. Until that mutual distaste quickly shifts into something more. Isak has a boyfriend.
Minute by Minute by Lisa94 (56k words) - Isak is angry at the world after his ex Julian cheated on him. But he can´t escape his life or his ex. He needs the help of his friends to find to himself again. (Basically Isak going through the five stages after a break-up)
(WIP) I Can Hardly Breathe by Flatfootmonster - In this universe, Even and Sonja married, so I shouldn't really need to tag infidelity as it is implied (but who is being unfaithful? *dramatic drum roll*)
The Weight Of Us by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (81k words) - I believe this is a complicated one. It's been a long time since I read it. Isak gets engaged to Emma. Even is married to Sonja. And then a bunch of things happen. Even's sister has cancer
Twice by intothewind (101k words) - Kinda with a twist but also not (shrug emoji). “I told them we were dating, so they’d let me in their band.” Jonas states, shrugging his shoulders like it’s the most nonchalant thing in the world.
***** BONUS *****
FIFA madness by Bellakitse (1.4k words) - Even and Isak are playing FIFA, when Even questions Isak's awesomeness at playing the game. Isak is going to prove him wrong, or he would if Even could keep his hands to himself.
That was cheating by yourfriendlyneighbourhoodme (1.4k words) - As part of Kose group's team building, Isak finds himself dragged on a Laser Tag trip which turns out to be more exciting than he hoped, thanks but no thanks to a certain Even Bech Næsheim.
this is what it's like to be lovers by moonlightphan (4.1k words) - where Isak and Even have a conversation about micro-cheating, and their boundaries.
#evak fic rec#skam fic rec#cheating#there's a lot of pain in this one#i made myself sad when skimming through some of these#i only have myself to blame#but the the angst is so good
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Fork you, then (9/10)
Fleabag saves her friend Boo’s life and earns a spot in the Good Place, but is everything here really so perfect? And what’s up with the hot priest next door? 2282 words. Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Also on ao3.
I spend longer than I'm proud of in front of the mirror making sure that my outfit says "I'm totally fine with whatever happens next because I am a chic, independent woman who is capable of dealing with rejection and not at all liable to start ugly crying." Only a red sundress can say this.
I head over to rap on his front door and what greets me as he opens the door takes my breath away - he's wearing his usual neatly pressed (delightfully form-fitting) black trousers, and shiny black shoes - but his top half is clad in a loose, open-necked shirt.
"You're not wearing your special priesty collar thing," I say in lieu of a greeting.
"Hello," he responds. "No, I'm not." He looks relaxed. Oh god, maybe he's winning at inner peace. Bastard.
I'm pretty sure I am nailing inner peace. I am a meditation machine, I've been eating salad like a motherfucker, and I have entirely sworn off casual sex, although that hasn't really had to be a conscious choice given that nobody in this godforsaken paradise will fuck me. It's fine. I don't do that any more.
I did have a little snog with my priest last night, but then we had to run and corral a fucking unicorn, which ruined the mood a bit, and we haven't really talked about it. I got to ride on the unicorn's back all the way home, which was cool right up until it bit me. It turns out, I hate unicorns.
We agreed to meet for brunch today after we'd managed to wrangle that horrid creature back into Eleanor's stable and then staggered back to our separate beds, bruised and grubby.
I spend longer than I'm proud of in front of the mirror making sure that my outfit says "I'm totally fine with whatever happens next because I am a chic, independent woman who is capable of dealing with rejection and not at all liable to start ugly crying." Only a red sundress can say this.
I head over to rap on his front door and what greets me as he opens the door takes my breath away - he's wearing his usual neatly pressed (delightfully form-fitting) black trousers, and shiny black shoes - but his top half is clad in a loose, open-necked shirt.
"You're not wearing your special priesty collar thing," I say in lieu of a greeting.
"Hello," he responds. "No, I'm not." He looks relaxed. Oh god, maybe he's winning at inner peace. Bastard.
"Come on in," he continues, ushering me through to his kitchen. The door to his bedroom is open and I can see that the sheets on the bed are mussed. I know for a fact that they weren't like that yesterday because I've been systematically sneaking all of the best sex toys out of his cupboards when he isn't looking.
He motions for me to sit down at the kitchen table, where there's a stack of waffles and bacon waiting, then sits down next to me and rests his hand on my knee.
"What's wrong with you?" I ask. "Did I solve all your hang-ups with my magic lips?"
"No," he laughs.
"Was it the unicorn? Did it poop on you?"
"You know it forking pooped on me, you were laughing your head off."
"Did the magical unicorn poop solve all your hang-ups?"
He makes a noise that is part-way between fond and exasperated. "Would you please take this seriously for a minute?"
"That's not really my strong suit."
He gives me a look.
"Fine, what?"
He takes my hand and looks me in the eyes. "I've just realised that for the first time since I've been here, I've finally started to feel hopeful again." His thumb traces over mine, warm skin brushing over warm skin. "I think that has... a lot to do with you."
I don't really know what to say so I shove half a waffle in my mouth.
"You've never really tried to follow half of the rules that I've spent so much time living by. You're so passionate and loving and uninhibited, and none of that has stopped you from being a good person." Wrong. "So maybe I don't need the rules or the collar, maybe I can let myself..."
I manage to swallow and cut him off before he can say anything else. "I am not a good person." Tears are pricking at the corners of my eyes and the guilt is gripping my heart like a vice.
The softness in his gaze is unbearable. "I know that you are."
"That is such bullshirt. You don't know what I've done."
"So tell me."
"I forked my best friend's boyfriend and then she tried to walk into forking traffic," I spit. "I lived my life all wrong."
He holds my hand tighter and doesn't drop his gaze. "Everybody makes mistakes."
"Oh, fork off."
"Thinking of yourself as a good person terrifies you, doesn't it?"
"It doesn't terrify me, I'm just not one."
"You're impressive," he says simply, with so much sincerity that for a second I almost believe him. He raises our joined hands to his lips and drops a kiss onto my fingers.
"Tell me about Boo," he says gently.
I sniff, a few tears having forced their way out of my eyes, and let out a breathless laugh. "I think she might have been my favourite person ever."
"How did she feel about that?"
"You can't just tell people how you feel, are you insane?"
He nods. "Right, good point, sorry." I laugh wetly. Sarcastic bastard.
"I should have told her."
"Who knows, maybe she'll end up here too. Maybe you can still tell her."
"Probably. She was always the best one out of the two of us. " I reflect for a second. "I keep meaning to ask if my mum's here. She died a while ago."
"Why haven't you?"
"I just..."
"What?"
"What if she doesn't want to see me?"
"She will," he says with certainty.
"I'm not ready to find out."
"I understand," he says, bumping me with his shoulder. "Now eat your waffles before they go soggy."
To my surprise, heaven is a terrible place to engage in a courtship.
After we finish breakfast, he cradles my face with his maple syrup-sticky fingers and kisses me fiercely, crowding me up against the cabinets. I push him backwards until he's lying on his back on the kitchen table and I'm looming over him on all fours, and he's just working his hands up the length of my thighs and rucking up the hem of my skirt when Michael knocks on the window.
"What?" snaps the priest, unusually irritated - which is quite a compliment, really.
"Oh, I'm so sorry to intrude," frets Michael, wringing his hands. "There's been an infestation of interdimensional termites and you need to evacuate the building right now before it collapses." On cue, with a creak, a ceiling beam comes crashing down, inches from my head.
One afternoon as we're camped out on my sofa arguing about Doctor Who, the pesky termites having been dealt with somehow, he pulls me onto his lap and we're just getting into a very promising make-out session when Tahani pounces, sweeping in through the door with a wicker basket. She pulls tall cake stands and the makings for an entire high tea out of the improbably small space, like Mary Poppins' handbag or possibly the TARDIS, then proceeds to ply us with scones, tiny sandwiches, and tedious conversation for the entire afternoon.
A few days afterwards, after a lot of discussion and negotiation, the priest is strapping my wrists into a set of padded leather cuffs and fastening me securely to the posts of his ridiculous bed. I'm half-naked already, my tits exposed through the open buttons of my shirt (his shirt, I stole it), my knickers are most of the way off, and he's got his teeth sunk into the side of my neck, when Jianyu opens the door and walks calmly into the room.
"What the fork?" I ask, trying to shoo him away with my mind. Jianyu just bows deeply and settles cross-legged in a corner, then begins to silently meditate while staring directly at us. Honestly, I would be fine with carrying on, but the priest gets a little self-conscious, so he just unshackles me quietly and we leave the room. Total clit-block.
When Chidi interrupts us, we aren't even doing anything sexy - we put together a nice picnic basket and are comfortably ensconced on a large tartan blanket next to one of Tahani's enormous fountains, sharing a quiche and talking about everything and nothing. I'm staring into his gorgeous brown eyes like a complete sap as he enthuses about Charles Dickens and it's one of those perfect moments when it seems like you're the only people in the world.
"Hey, you two," says Chidi, plopping himself down onto the blanket and proving me wrong. "I'm so glad I ran into you, I have all these new books I want to go over with someone!" I groan and bury my head in the priest's lap and bid goodbye to our romantic afternoon.
A week or so later, we stay up late for a very nice dinner at the clam chowder brasserie, and walk home hand-in-hand through the winding, cobbled streets. I end up pinned into the alcove just inside my front door, being consensually mauled by my neighbour, who's sucking little bruises into my collarbone and pressing his knee in between my thighs in just the right way...
At this moment, Eleanor bursts in the door to tell us that the unicorn is giving birth and she needs us on hand to cut the umbilical cord.
Later, we fall asleep as soon as we hit the sheets, after taking off our elbow-length plastic gloves and showering off the amniotic glitter that somehow got into every crevice of our bodies. We wake up achy and exhausted, and he buries his face in my neck and groans.
"I wish there was some way we could just be alone for 24 hours," he murmurs into my skin.
I have an idea. "Janet? Is there somewhere that we can go that's not here?"
We alight the train in a huge empty field and trek for what seems like an eternity in the burning sunshine. The priest is fidgeting and rubbing the back of his neck - his skin is probably already starting to burn, so I bump him with my shoulder and flop my hat over his head. The big sunflower on the brim quite suits him, actually.
Finally, we come across a neat little house surrounded by flowers, and rap on the door. It's opened by a wild-looking man in a tuxedo, holding a martini glass full of fridge magnets.
"Good Derek," he says politely. "How may I Derek you today?"
"Uh-" I begin.
"Derek, go and stand in the closet and be quiet," says a sharp voice. A walking set of shoulder pads comes to the door and smiles at us insincerely. Derek stomps away, muttering "Maximum Derek" to himself, over and over.
"Is he OK?" asks the priest, peering around the corner.
"No, his brain is wrong and he has a musical instrument for a penis."
"Is that a euphemism?" I ask. I knew a guy like that once.
"No," she says flatly. "How can I help you fine people? Come right on in. Do you like cocaine?"
"So you're telling me, you're here on some kind of fucked-up honeymoon?"
"I can swear here?" gasps the priest. "Thank fuck."
"Too fucking right," I agree, and he cups my face and kisses me. Mindy makes retching sounds in the background, but she's coked up to her eyeballs at this point so I don't think much of it.
"We just need to borrow your spare room for a day," I say, as the priest rubs little circles over the base of my skull with his thumb. "Or maybe two days."
"I don't know why they keep interrupting us," he pouts. I want to bite his lip. "We're supposed to be having a good time."
"Oh my God," she drawls, sounding unbelievably bored, "it's as though you're not even in the Good Place at all."
We turn to her, wide-eyed and gaping.
"Oh please," she scoffs. "You would have figured it out ages ago if you weren't too busy-" She makes an obscene, but very accurate, hand gesture. "I mean, I looked it up, and there have been literally no Catholic priests who have made it into the Good Place. Ever."
"I wasn't the bad kind of priest," he mumbles, but my mind is too busy whirring to pay attention.
"We're being tortured," I say slowly. "That makes a lot more sense." We're just digesting this information when there's a knock on the door. Mindy frowns and strides over to open it.
"Hi," says Janet cheerily, waving at us. "I have a message for you from Eleanor - she says it's time for you to find out the truth. Please come with me."
Derek appears, walking backwards out of the bedroom ."Well, well, well," he announces. "Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet. Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet Janet."
"Go away, Derek," says Janet firmly. "I do not want to talk to you."
"Janet Janet Janet," he continues.
"Leave."
He deflates. "OK, Mommy-ex-girlfriend," he says, sounding like a lost little boy. "Take this, to remember me by." He hands her the glass full of magnets, which she grabs from him and stalks off towards the train station.
"We could just stay here and fuck forever," I say to the priest. I'm only 50% serious.
"Come on," he says, jerking his head towards the door and giving me one of his crooked smiles. After saying our goodbyes to Mindy, we trail reluctantly behind Janet and take a seat on the train. I toy idly with two of the magnets out of the martini glass.
"I don't want this all to end," I say quietly.
"Me neither," he says, taking my hand.
The train jolts as it rounds a corner and abruptly the magnets fly out of my grip and adhere firmly to Janet's forehead. She twitches and jerks, pulling levers on the control panel at random.
We watch in horror as the train speeds up and misses the next station entirely, careening out of control down the tracks.
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