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hardly-an-escape · 6 months

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A Close Shave | Dream/Hob | 2150 words | Rated G

tags: retired!Dream, shaving, unmitigated yearning and longing, the pining is probably mutual but you only get Hob's POV

“Been meaning to ask," Hob says. "How are you feeling about... this?"

He gestures to his chin, the stubble there, and across the table, Dream slowly puts down his spoon. Even more slowly, he raises one hand to his own chin and runs the backs of his fingers along the newly-grown layer of hair there.

It’s been a little over a month, and by now Hob is used to the speed – or rather, lack thereof – with which Dream finds it necessary to live his freshly-human life. A month, since Dream had chosen to live, and chosen to live with Hob, taking over the spare room and filling it with books and soft cardigans and snacks as he learned his own likes and dislikes as Dream-the-human.

It still feels to Hob as though there’s a minor miracle sitting across the breakfast table, now thoughtfully fondling the brand-new beard on his chin.

“Ah,” Dream says eventually. “You mean this. The hair on my face. Yes, I have noticed it.”

“I’ve never seen you with a beard before,” Hob says neutrally.

“I suppose I never felt the need to manifest one when I visited the Waking World,” Dream says. He returns most of his attention to his oatmeal. It still requires some concentration, to hold the spoon steady; to make sure it reaches his mouth without spilling. Hob watches for a moment, impressed all over again with Dream’s willingness to try.

“Does it bother you, having one now?” he asks.

“Why would it bother me? It is a part of my body, is it not?”

Hob, wisely, refrains from mentioning the other body parts and functions – the sunburn, the stubbed toe, the sensations of hunger and dizziness and nausea, the need for sleep and to relieve himself – which have bothered Dream an inordinate amount over the past four weeks.

“But do you like it?” Hob presses gently. “I mean, one of the great things about being human is that it’s pretty easy to change our looks, generally speaking. Maybe not as easy as just… manifesting. But still. You get to choose what you look like, whether it’s a beard or clean-shaven, or, or pink hair. Or anything. Infinite variety.”

Dream puts his spoon down again and brings both hands up to his face. His palms cup either side of his chin and his long, narrow fingers stroke gently, from the downy hairs peppering his cheekbones, down into the hollows of his cheeks (not quite as gaunt as they used to be, Hob notes with a swell of gratitude), and then along the line of his chin to where it ends in a devastating little point.

In the morning light, with his face framed by those artistic fingers and a look of such solemn concentration on his features, he looks like a statue; a religious icon, perhaps, contemplative and blessed. His eyes are closed and his rosebud of a mouth is very pink and very slightly open.

Hob has to dig his fingernails into his own thigh to stop himself from reaching out and running his own fingers down Dream’s cheek, or brushing his thumb along that unfairly soft-looking bottom lip.

“Hm,” Dream says finally. “I do not think I dislike the beard. But equally, I am not sure that I like it. I am not sure that my face… feels like me.”

“Well,” Hob says. “You can shave it off, if you want. See if you feel more like yourself. I can – I can help you. Obviously.”

Obviously. Obviously. He supposes it is obvious – it must be – how desperately he wants to help Dream. How abject his desire to make this fragile, human life a little more bearable, in any small way he can.

“Yes,” says Dream. “I would… like that. Thank you.”

Hob drags a kitchen chair into the bathroom. Digs out his softest hand towel and wets it with hot water before wrapping it carefully around Dream’s face and neck. He chatters idly as he gathers his supplies: random recollections about his favorite Turkish bath in London, which had gone out of business during the Great War, and the Russian steambaths and Finnish saunas he’s seen during his travels.

He doesn’t use his old straight razor much anymore, preferring a good reusable safety razor for himself when he’s going clean shaven, but he’s always found a well-honed, old-fashioned cutthroat to be more comfortable when shaving someone else. And he keeps his razors, like any tool, in good condition whether he’s using it regularly or not; the mother-of-pearl handle is clean and polished, the joint moves smoothly, and the blade gleams.

Dream watches through hooded eyes as Hob strops the razor and mixes up the suds of shaving foam. He loads up the soft bristle brush before removing the towel and making sure Dream is positioned in front of the mirror.

“Here’s what I’m thinking,” Hob says. “I’m going to start by just doing your neck and cheeks, clean up the edges a bit. You might like it more when it looks like an intentional beard, not just a couple weeks’ worth of shaggy growth. And if you’re still not feeling it, we’ll shave the rest. Sound okay?”

Dream nods, and Hob goes to work.

Touching Dream is – not difficult, not exactly. If anything, it’s too easy. Hob’s fingertips hunger for the soft brush of Dream’s skin, for the fluff of his dark hair, for his stubble and his slender hands and the little creases in the corners of his eyes. In those earliest mad days, when Dream hadn’t even been strong enough to walk on his own, Hob had manhandled him matter-of-factly. He’d helped him walk, and dress, and eat; taught him how the bathtub worked and washed his body, cheerfully ignoring the furious flush on Dream’s face at the indignity of needing to be cared for. They’d gotten through it.

He’s mature enough to admit to himself that he misses it, now that Dream has gained enough strength of body and mind to do it all for himself. There’s something so intimate about that contact with another person: about being needed in that particular intense way. It’s heady. The longing for it almost chokes him, sometimes, with how badly he wants it: to hoist Dream in his arms and cradle him against his chest. To wash his hair and rub him gently dry. To hold a cup of water or warm milk to those perfect lips.

But Hob, for all his faults, is trying so hard not to be an asshole these days. So he doesn’t touch Dream that way, now that it isn’t needed – now that he isn’t needed. No matter how much he might like to.

Until now.

Now, for just a moment, he lets himself indulge. Runs his hungry fingertips along the soft, vulnerable curves of Dream’s throat and the firmer lines of his jaw as he brushes on the shaving foam. Tips his head gently this way and that, revels guiltily in how biddable Dream is as he sits quietly in the chair.

Hob takes his time with the actual shaving, both out of caution (perhaps even a bit of terror, that he might inadvertently mark that precious skin) and out of a desire to linger over the experience for as long as he can get away with. Unfortunately, shaving just a person’s neck doesn’t really take that long, regardless of how carefully one does it. Within just a handful of minutes, he is carefully wiping the last spot of soap from the hollow of Dream’s throat and turning him fully toward the bathroom mirror.

“What do you think?” he asks.

Dream doesn’t answer right away. He turns his head from side to side, surveying his reflection. Then he tilts his chin up and runs his fingers down the newly-soft skin of his neck. Hob’s fingertips tingle. He knows the sensation Dream is experiencing, knows it intimately: the smoothness of the hairless skin, the slight tackiness of the moisturizer. Knows it from his own face, and from the faces of lovers over the decades, and even from poor, long-dead Robyn’s face, when he’d taught his son to shave.

He doesn’t say anything, and after a moment Dream meets his eye in the mirror.

“I think I would like to have the rest of it off,” he says. “If you would not mind…?”

“No problem,” says Hob softly.

They go through the whole ritual once more: the hot towel, mixing up the foam. Hob strops the razor again, just to be sure. This time he carefully rubs a little pre-shave oil into Dream’s beard to soften the hairs as much as possible, then covers his face with the thick foam.

“I don’t really know if the oil does much,” he admits, “but the last time I went for a proper shave at a barber’s, the bloke who did it swore by the stuff. I guess I’m a sucker for a good upsell. And it does smell nice.”

It takes much longer this time, of course. He finishes the first pass, wipes Dream’s face, lathers him again and goes for a second pass. He leaves Dream’s sideburns mostly alone, just taking them up enough to blend in with the hair falling shaggy over his ears – if Dream wants a haircut that will have to be another adventure, to a real barber or a salon, because Hob doesn’t trust himself with that kind of artistry, not where Dream is concerned.

He narrates as he goes, describing the best angle to hold the blade, how to gently pull the skin taut to avoid nicks, when to go with the grain of the hair and when to scrape against it. Reminiscing further on his favorite barbers and spas and on a broad history of facial hair and shaving. He is babbling a bit, he knows, but he tells himself it’s for educational purposes; that this kind of general knowledge could potentially serve Dream well as he navigates a new human life.

He’s certainly not talking in order to distract himself from the sensation of Dream’s skin and the soft sounds of Dream’s breath, or to stop himself from saying something much more revealing and embarrassing. Like how he wants to take care of Dream for the rest of time. Or how badly he wants to see if his skin is as soft all the way down as it is in the tender place just behind his ear. Or how fiercely grateful he is that Dream has chosen to live, to try, to be here, to sit in a kitchen chair and eat oatmeal, to sit in this bathroom and let Hob run his fingers down the line of his jaw, over and over, trying to memorize the feeling of every inch of skin he’s allowed to touch as he runs the razor over the valleys of Dream’s cheeks.

He will never run out of words to say to Dream – or words he wishes he could say – but eventually he does run out of skin to shave. At his direction, Dream leans over the sink and rinses his face with cold water, then gently pats in aftershave while Hob meticulously dries his razor and clears away the shaving tackle.

Then it’s quiet in the little bathroom for a long, long moment while Dream reexamines his face in the mirror.

“Well?” Hob says eventually, so low it’s almost a whisper. He allows himself one last touch. Drops his hand onto Dream’s shoulder and squeezes gently.

Dream makes eye contact in the mirror, and Hob is shocked by a swift bolt of recognition. Here, in front of him, is Dream – his Stranger, his centennial mystery – so different, so human, and yet, suddenly, so familiar. It could almost be 1489 again, save the electric lighting; his hair is nearly long enough, and the imperious pout is back on his lips.

And then he opens his mouth.

“Hob, I –” he trails off. Breathes. “I am me.”

Hob squeezes his shoulder again. “Of course you are.”

“No, you misunderstand. I – I recognize myself,” Dream says, unconsciously echoing Hob’s thoughts. “I see a man, and he looks like me.” He meets Hob’s eye in the mirror once again. “I – thank you.”

Dream’s eyes are, unaccountably, welling up with tears, as beautiful and delicate as the rest of him. Hob does the only thing he can think to do, which is to drop his chin to Dream’s shoulder, lay his own hairy cheek alongside Dream’s newly-smooth, freshly-scented face, wrap his arms around Dream’s bony chest, and hold him.

One of Dream’s hands comes up and wraps itself around Hob’s wrist, and they stay that way for a long time: Dream in the kitchen chair, in front of the bathroom mirror, and Hob behind him, holding him, crouched somewhat uncomfortably, but exactly where he wants to be.

---

this has been languishing in my drafts for absolute ages and I wish it hadn't taken me so ding dang long but it is what it is || this two cakes situation is inspired by @watercubebee's art and dedicated to her and @valeriianz 🎂🎂 || art, Kris's ficlet (plus part two)

read on AO3 >>>

#hello I am once again posting barely edited fics in the wee hours AS IS MY WONT #do you know how long I've had a tab open with the wikihow article on shaving with a straight razor?? it's been WEEKS #someday I will improve on my current writing speed of twelve words per day smh #my writing #dreamling #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling

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rockingrobin69 · 7 months

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Routine

“Harry, wait, you’ve—your bloody jacket,” stopped him at the doorway with a roll of his eyes, this long-suffering look that failed to hide a smile. “Getting a little forgetful in our old age?”

“Shut up,” Harry laughed, deliriously fond. “I wouldn’t have to rush out if someone didn’t take so long in the bathroom.”

“Did you believe all this happens naturally?” shaking his long, lovely hair in emphasis. Harry, who’d seen this trick a thousand times before, drank the sight hungrily: Harry, who’d seen Draco when he just woke up this morning, knew the statement for the rubbish it was.

“Cute. You’re stalling, and I’m going to be late.”

Draco quirked an eyebrow. “Not exactly holding you here by the tie, am I.”

Disappointedly: “Hmm. I suppose not.” Rectifying immediately with a step closer, arms wrapping around Draco; inhaling deep the sharp smell of his aftershave, of his fancy face cream Harry still occasionally had to lick.

“Now who’s stalling,” but his voice was soft, punctuated with tiny kisses to his jaw. “Harry. You’ll be late. And you’ve got that lecture today, the one you kept droning on and on about.”

While he had one arm around Harry’s shoulders, a hand threading through his hair. “It’s only, I’m a little entangled here. See, I’ve got this partner who keeps insisting he’s not clingy.”

“Surely he’s not. Did you consider the fact you’re extremely touchable? And besides that he’s maybe a bit gone for you, and cannot be blamed. Not so early in the morning. What? Stop looking at me like that, you started it, and I wouldn’t take so long to wake up if you hadn’t insisted on staying up late last night, with your,” stopped to laugh, croaky and loud in Harry’s ear, to shake his head with his eyes all grey.

A burst of it in his chest, star-bright. “You love me,” Harry said, stupidly, helplessly happy.

“Shock and awe.”

“You love me,” grinning like a fool, crushing Draco closer by the hips, peppering his face with kisses: “you really do.”

“Every bloody morning,” but he was laughing too. “You’re a ridiculous man, Harry Potter.”

“And you still love me.”

Draco, in his arms, dramatic and fidgety. “And yet I somehow still do.”

“Darling,” giddy with it, rubbing his nose against Draco’s cold one. “You’re freezing. You should get back inside, get some sleep.”

“I would, only there’s this brute who won’t let me go.”

The thought of him back in bed, wrapped under a warm duvet was slightly devastating. Trying for a brave smile, “Well, did you consider you’re very touchable.”

“Am I? That’s news to me.”

A huff, and affection tearing through him, impossibly tight: “Right, okay,” forcing his hands away, his legs a step back. “I really have to go.”

“Wait,” Draco said, forehead crinkling, “aren’t you forgetting something?”

“You already brought me my jacket.”

“Fuck your jacket. Something actually important.”

“Oh!” sweeping him in his arms once again, delighting in the way his head tilted up, expectantly, for a kiss. In delivering one at a time, deliberate. “I love you. I love you so much.”

Draco allowed this for a moment longer, then pushed Harry away, flushed and awfully dear. “All right, off you go. Did you know you’re an utter sap.”

“Only for you.”

The long-suffering look. “Oh, the things one is willing to put up with.” But he stayed there, bracing a bare shoulder against the doorway, and it was morning-cold outside, and he couldn’t really hide the smile.

“Yes, poor you,” Harry said, and kissed him again just because.

(Flufftober day 3. Find the soft AO3 collection here).

#drarry fic #just a collection of soft moments #this time: a morning #flufftober2023 #prompt: “Wait you love me?” - “I always have”#but make it routine. this gush of excitement when your partner of many years says the silliest things #when they love you.#isn't it always a bit of a surprise and a bit of a marvel #rockingrobin69 #600 words

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amidalis · 1 year

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Pet Loss Grief Ease?

Personal post, you can ignore if you want but I have to type out my feelings.

I lost my cat, Pearl who I had for 11 years. I acutally got her as a grief therapy resolution when my close family member died of childhood cancer. She served more than her purpose, and made me feel unconditional love every single day. I just feel so lost right now, and I am really hurting. A lot. I had such a close bond with Pearl, and she was attached to me by the hip. She was the happiest, most affectionate, creampuff of a cat I've ever known or heard of.

Pearl got very sick very fast this weekend, and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. This was a shock and devastating to us, because she showed absolutely no signs and was always happy and showed normal functioning until her last day at home when she had very labored breathing. We brought her to the animal hospital for it right away, but she had a lot of fluid in her lungs and stayed overnight so that it could drain and she was diagnosed that night.

The next day she showed improvement after being given medications. I asked the vet if it was selfish to keep her here on Earth, just because I wanted her. I did not want her to be in pain or suffer. But we were advised that it was not at that point at all. We were told that she could have a good quality of life for however long it would be if it was 6 months...a year...years, and she would just take medication for the rest of her life. It was devastating to hear, but I made peace with that. I was ready to do whatever I needed to to care for her.

Unfortunately, Pearl took a turn for the worst that night when her lungs filled with fluid again despite all efforts, and the vet called to alert me. While we were on our way to the hospital, the vet called me to tell me that her heart gave out, and she was gone.

When we arrived at the hospital, I already decided that I DID NOT want to see Pearl while she was gone. I knew it would just be too traumatizing. I did not need to see her lifeless. All I wanted were her print stamps, and to sign the paperwork, and just leave and mourn and just cry. But a nurse ran to us, and told us they were able to bring Pearl back, and rushed us so that we could be with her...Pearl passed away LITERALLY just before I walked through the doors of the room. And I saw her. I just broke the fuck down and cried and cried and cried as sick animals in the ICU around me were in pain and howling and screaming. It was so traumatizing and haunting.

My question is, if you experienced pet loss was there anything that helped you? I'm really struggling right now with my emotions. Relieved that this happened at the hospital where Pearl received the best care and her pain was eased. Thankful that I could tell something was not right, and that she didn't have to pass away at home while we'd be in shock and screaming in horror not knowing what was going on and she would be panicked and in pain. Angry that I spent thousands of dollars, and she still couldn't be saved. Guilty, because I should not just want her to hang in there for me, and if her little heart couldn't handle it anymore... it was her time to go. Absolutely devastated that I lost my baby, and my other poor cat Pepper is so confused and wondering where Pearl went and why we are crying all the time.

I just don't know what to do right now, so if anyone has any tips or things that they did to help with the grief of losing a pet, please let me know. I already bought a real pearl ring to remember her, and printed out pictures of her and framed them which made me feel a little better, but not really.

#kiki speaks #cats #pet loss #grief #tw: death #pets

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stony-ao3-feed · 9 months

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I am who I want to be. Even if it's not who you want.

Read it on AO3

by SacrificeMyLife

When Peter Parker had died, everyone that knew him was devastated. The Avengers had gone 3 years in the dark and lost themselves with grief. After a long trial and error, Tony and Bruce found a way to bring Peter Parker back. The only catch– he is from another Universe. A Universe that had not known the Avengers. OR Peter had died using the gauntlet against Thanos. Causing every Avenger to have their Wanda story arc and bring Peter back by kidnapping him from another Universe.

Words: 1723, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Bruce Banner, mentioned - Vision (Marvel), Matt Murdock, Wade Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Pepper Potts

Relationships: Avengers Team & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Dark, Dark Avengers - Freeform, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Innocent Peter Parker, Kidnapping, Kidnapped Peter Parker, Stockholm Syndrome, Powerful Peter Parker, he just doesnt know how to use his powers right, Forced Sedation, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Major Character Injury, Peter Parker Without Powers, (sometimes), invisibility power, Mind Manipulation, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Avengers, overprotective Avengers, No Plot/Plotless, Non-Consensual Drug Use

Read it on AO3

#stony #fanfiction #ao3feed #superhusbands #stevetony

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destinygoldenstar · 3 months

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Goodbye Pepper

1 AM. Pepper’s woken up to die.

“Salim. Thank you. Goodbye.”

She’s dying of old age.

I forced everyone awake to see it. She wasn’t dying alone.

Salim thought “Oh. Ha ha, this is another one of your jokes Pepper.”

But she wasn’t moving.

“It’s not a joke…?! Pepper?! PEPPER!!?!??”

Everyone showed up.

They’re devastated.

Salim lost his wife.

Ruby and Kian lost their mom.

Sun lost his grandma.

I found this cute that Pepper transitioned to confident cause she adores that her family, that she made, is here to see her go.

That’s so beautiful 😭

Sun was heartbroken. He lost his grandma. The only person who believed in him.

Salim’s a widow now. Which is SO SAD.

KIAN DIDNT EVEN PROCESS THE DEATH.

DUDE. YOUR MOM JUST DIED.

Ruby got the mourning moodlet. Laurant got it even though he was never close to her. But Kian for some reason doesn’t get it.

Maybe he’s in denial. “Oh, this is one of moms jokes.”

Our OG Sim is gone. She’s reunited with Bubbles.

“The one that started it all with her chaotic nature that will always live on in every generation.”

Goodbye Pepper. You will be missed dearly.

#sims #the sims 4 #sims 4 #my sims #the sims #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 screenshots #simblr #not so berry #not so berry challenge #not so berry rose #not so berry mint #not so Berry yellow #Pepper Nosobirrie #salim benali #Ruby Nosobirrie #Kian Nosobirrie #Laurant Michaelson #Sun Nosobirrie

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ao3feed-sambucky · 9 months

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I am who I want to be. Even if it's not who you want.

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/48889831

by SacrificeMyLife

Words: 7953, Chapters: 4/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M

Relationships: Avengers Team & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/48889831

#Bucky #Captain America #Winter Soldier #Sam Wilson #James Barnes #Falcon #SamBucky #BuckySam #IFTTT

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ao3feed-stony · 9 months

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I am who I want to be. Even if it's not who you want.

by SacrificeMyLife

Words: 1723, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M

Relationships: Avengers Team & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/48889831

#stony #steve rogers #tony stark #iron man #captain america #fan fiction #ao3 stony feed #stony fan

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daniel306gaming · 2 years

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¿What if Captain America killed Iron Man in Civil War?

To: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., the Russo Bros., Kevin Feige and Marvel Studios

Intro

What if events went differently in the MCU? What if Captain America killed Iron Man in Civil War? In today’s fan fiction we’re going to be exploring what would have happened if Captain America had killed Iron Man during the climatic final battle between them and Bucky in Civil War. ¿How can this affect Infinity War and Endgame going forward? This is an original what if created by me taking inspiration from the 2006-07 Civil War story arc with elements from the Ultimate Marvel comics while following the mythology of Captain America and Iron Man and the timeline of the MCU. Without wasting anymore time sit back and relax and enjoy the fan fiction.

Prologue

One of the most saddest things I’ve seen not just in our world but also throughout my analysis of the multiverse is wars. Wars that end badly with so many lives taken and ending in defeat. Of course there will be a multiversal war coming soon. In our world we have seen a Civil War and an Infinity War take place with The Avengers disbanding and half of the population gone till 5 years later. However, I wanna focus on the Civil War in particular but specifically how it ended with Captain America defeating Iron Man disabling the suit. So for today’s story we’re going to be looking at a universe where Captain America actually killed Iron Man for good leading to huge consequences in that universe and the timeline in general. I am the Watcher. I am you’re guide to these vast new realities. Follow me and pounder the question. What If…

Act 1

The events of Civil War were playing out the same as in our universe. Captain America and Winter Soldier fought with Iron Man and Tony Stark blasted Bucky Barnes’s arm off before beheading him. Cap and Tony fought hard and Captain America began to defeat Iron Man hitting him hard including using his shield to disable his suit and our story begins here with the final blow which in this universe killed Iron Man for good. Bucky saw the events unfold and asked Cap what did he do. Cap said that he ended this and that now with him gone the Avengers have reassembled. Black Panther captured Baron Zemo like in our universe and was locked away for good. Back in New York Steve told Natasha about Tony’s death and he told the rest of her team about it devastating all of them. Cap would brake his team out of prison like in our universe telling them about Stark’s death and Steve would go tell Pepper Potts and Happy Hogan about what happened to Tony. A funeral would be held for Tony with all of the Avengers in attendance with the ending of Civil War being the same with Bucky in recovery at Wakanda and Peter Parker would now become Spider-Man full time especially in this universe after Stark died. Clint Barton and Scott Lang would still go into house arrest.

Act 2

2 months have passed since Stark’s death and Peter Parker has stopped many crimes as Spider-Man. He joined Captain America’s team and the Avengers themselves who told Peter and everyone involved in Civil War that Tony died of an heart attack during their battle in Siberia. They heard of a company called the Department of Damage Control. They headed to the headquarters of the DODC when they saw a man named Adrian Toomes there. Steve and Peter met Adrian and explained to him how he has invented a suit that looked like a bird dubbing him Vulture. Steve and Peter were impressed with the suit and thanked him for their help in the Battle of New York and they both left. The rest of the Homecoming events will play out the same as in our universe with the only differences being Captain America giving Spider-Man the speech that Tony made originally and Captain America arriving to save the people on the boat. However, he still managed to keep the suit as Cap still had faith in him. After the battle, Cap give him a Iron-Spider suit to which Peter accepted and became a full time member of the Avengers.

Act 3

2 years have passed since the Vulture’s defeat and Spider-Man has become a full time member of the Avengers. The events of Infinity War were playing out the same and our fan fiction resumes here as with Tony dead Bruce was the only scientist alive. The battle at Greenwich Village would end badly as because of Tony being dead Ebony Maw defeated Doctor Strange taking the Time Stone with him to deliver to Thanos. They returned to the Sanctuary II where Thanos was awaiting them. The rest of the Infinity War events with Thor and the Guardians would play out the same as in our universe until the Guardians found out that after Thanos goes to Vormir for the Soul Stone he will be headed to Earth next which is where our story resumes. On Earth Cap and his team including Spider-Man and Strange have returned to the Avengers Compound after saving Scarlet Witch and Vision from the Black Order’s attacks at Edinburgh. Bruce told them everything that happened in space and most recently in Greenwich Village. The story will keep playing out the same with the team heading to Wakanda and in this universe they are joined by Spider-Man and Doctor Strange. They reunited with T’Challa and Bucky and the Black Order arrived at Wakanda with Wong and the Masters of the Mystic Arts and Wakandan armies along with The Avengers fighting the Outriders.

Final act

The Avengers wiped out Thanos’s armies and killed the Black Order with Thor and the Guardians’s help in this universe until the mad Titan arrived and defeated everyone. Thor hitted Thanos with his axe and he was about to snap with all of a sudden his head suddenly blew up killing him for good. It was none other than Captain America who revealed that this should’ve been the way he could’ve killed Stark. Everyone was devastated to hear that Cap killed Tony. Cap took the Infinity Gauntlet telling them that now there will be a world where no wars like this or the Civil War ever happen and that in this world Iron Man and Tony Stark never existed snapping his fingers creating the new world.

Epilogue

In the new world, Tony died the same day his parents did and SHIELD didn’t exist since in this world HYDRA won WWII and have conquered the world. The Avengers were all villains in this reality with the Civil War and Infinity War never happening due to Tony Stark along with Thanos and his armies all dead. Steve Rogers was not Captain America in this reality but he was now known as Captain Hydra. In the further end of the universe Silver Surfer told his master that Thanos was defeated and that Captain America has created a new world under his name with HYDRA ruling the world and him becoming Captain Hydra. Annihilus saw the events unfold and told his armies to be ready as they were going to show Captain Hydra there even his world’s annihilation can not be prevented…

THE END!

And that is going to be it for What if Captain America had killed Iron Man in Civil War. This was and still is what I consider my first very dark what if I did so far having the ending with Captain America becoming Captain Hydra and Annihilus and Galactus making their MCU debuts at the end of the fan fiction. But anyway do make sure to be on the lookout for more what ifs coming soon. Take care guys and have a fantastic day. Peace out!

#marvel studios #infinity saga

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keywestlou · 2 years

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WATCHING QUEEN’S FINAL DAY’S SERVICES SINCE 3 AM

WATCHING QUEEN’S FINAL DAY’S SERVICES SINCE 3 AM - https://keywestlou.com/watching-queens-final-days-services-since-3-am/I have been up since 3 watching the final hours of Queen Elizabeth's services. History and tradition. Love it! The heart of a nation exposed. Reverence, sensitivity, value. What it's all about. It is 7 am at the moment. I have one eye on the computer as I prepare today's blog and the other on the TV screen. Key West in its own way is honoring the Queen. On friday, city workers installed a British flag aside the Southernmost Point marker and wrapped the marker in a purple banner. Lunched at Hogfish yesterday. Sat at the bar. Julia waited on me. Enjoyed a special. Peppered lemon shrimp. Delicious! Veronica came by at 4 to massage my feet. Tough lady! Strong hands! She bring me close to tears. Yesterday was my second consecutive day for Veronica to hopefully work what I will consider a miracle if it succeeds. Solving my now more than 2 month old foot and leg swelling problem which medical science has failed to accomplish. She is making headway. My ankles were smaller yesterday before she began. Even smaller afterward. Normal appearing this morning. Though they will enlarge as the day moves on. The third and final massage this afternoon. I suspect further success. Hope for it! Actually desperate for it! Believe it will take another 3 days next week. A manicure at noon today. Followed by lunch somewhere. Puerto Rico can't win. Struck by another devastating hurricane. Fiona. A Category 1. Winds 85 miles per hour. Two hours of rain. Flooding extensive. Power system totally gone. The entire island in blackout. Biden has already declared an emergency. Assistance on its way. I am confident it will be more than the paper towels Trump threw around. Puerto Rico never learns. I hold it responsible for its continuing problems. It needs to become a State. For some reason, the Puerto Rican people have an obstinacy in doing it. They must enjoy what I am beginning to view as self-abuse. In the 1960's and 1970's, I vacationed in Puerto Rico several times. Every visit, I ran into the same thing. People on street corers making speeches about whether to become a State. Never amounted to anything more than talk, however. Years later when I spent 2 weeks on the island handling an environmental matter, it was the same. A lot of public talking with nothing coming out of it. DeSantis is aggravating Trump. Love it! Rolling Stones reports Trump is complaining in private DeSantis is stealing his thunder by sending immigrants to Martha's Vineyard and elsewhere. Trump claims it is taking the spotlight away from him. Two sick men vying for the same sick issue. Enjoy your day!

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fictionsmooches · 3 years

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Hiiii, so I’m still hyperventilating over your Erwin and assistant reader fic. I love that one so so muchhh!!! May I please get a part two of that where they are living an awfully cute domestic life together?

I’m thinking maybe when the reader is pregnant with Erwin’s baby she will stay in the headquarter and help with Erwin’s plans and paperwork’s instead of going to battles?

I’m sorry if it’s a long/specific request I just love imagining being by Erwin’s side and helping him out. That assistant fic just melted my heart ❤️

OMG I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH!! Thanks for the request Anon!! Pt1 can be found here <3 <3

Erwin smith x Fem! Pregnant reader, fluffy fic :>

Life with Erwin had become soft and sweet.

You’d wake with kisses peppered on your face and cheeks and a stubbly Erwin smiling over you.

You took all your meals together and tea time was spent over a good conversation or story told by Erwin.

It had been cold and rainy all day. Despite Erwins wishes you went out on a small mission with your squad anyways. For seeing that you’d be sick, Erwin had already prepared fresh dry clothes and a warm bath for you.

“I told you you’d get sick..” he said undressing you form your wet clothes. Even after all this time of living together, sleeping in the same bed, and just being together 24/7, you couldn’t help but feel your face heat up as he touched you. Calloused fingertips undid the buttons ever so softly as you pouted. “I could do it myself you know” you say. “I know, but what use am i if i dont help my (y/n) when she’s sick?” He asked smiling down at you.

Later that night while you slept close to him he whispered “you know I’m going to marry you one day. You’ll be my wife and ill make a wonderful home for us” he didn’t know it then but you smiled at every word he spoke.

Sometime you’d burn dinner because you were too distracted talking to each other.

One day while eating dinner, you decided to break the news to him about being pregnant. You were nervous. Not because you thought he would leave you or anything- but you were both going to be first time parents and during a war no less. It was scary.

“Erwin, i need to say something serious.“ You say watching his face slowly turn as he placed his fork down. “Alright I’m ready” he said stern, it reminded you of the commander you knew when you first met.

“Erwin, there is no easy was to say this so ill just come out with it. Im pregnant. Im certain of it” he lifted up from his seat with a soft “please excuse me” and walked out your shared bedroom. You were devastated. This had gone horribly wrong with out any notice.

Tears softy rolled on your cheeks for a few moments and then you heard his heavy boots thumping against the wooden floorboards of the hallway. You wiped your tears and composed yourself.

Erwin walked in with his arms full of medication bottles, vitamins, supplements, herbs, everything you could possibly think of.

“You’ll need to be in the best health possible! Goodness.. ill have to go in to town tomorrow and see where i could buy a crib.. and possibly even some blankets.. you diffently need-“ you cut him off as he rambled. “Erwin! You’re not mad?” He stopped everything he was doing to notice your puffy face, and crouched down to his knees in front of you. “Of course not. I couldn’t be happier. I’m sorry i just walked out like that, I’m just excited” he hugged your waist, resting his head against your stomach. “You’re going to be a good father you say stoking his head”

From then on you stayed behind to help Erwin with paperwork and low impact tasks.

He would bring you a single flower everyday no matter what.

When you didn’t feel well, he’d make you soup :”)

He often yelled at you for being on your feet for too long, and during meetings he’d make you stop so you could sit down. BUT it had to be in his comfy office chair.

He would pick you up sometimes if he saw you rubbing your lower back when you were in pain, and carry you all the way back to your bed.

Sometime you woke to Erwin quietly whispering to your tummy. “You’re going to do such great things. I’m going to teach you how to fish, and how to lace your shoes”

You both joked about naming the baby after Levi.

#erwin smith x reader #x reader #aot x reader #aot erwin #erwin fluff #erwin x you #erwin smith #hange #levi ackerman #aot #snk levi #snk imagines #aot imagines #pregnant reader

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drarrily-we-row-along · 2 years

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February 12: Waking Up Together

(Rated m for topics of conversation and general nudity)

Harry groaned as he came awake, rolling toward his nightstand where he normally kept a pepper up potion and a hang over potion at the ready.

What he was not expecting was the other body he collided with, their naked skin rubbing together.

His eyes flew open as he heard a very distinct groan. He would know that voice anywhere.

Oh Godric. What had they done last night?

“Draco?” he asked, modestly attempting to cover the other man’s mostly exposed, ridiculously attractive body.

“Potter, it is too bloody early and I am far too hung over for your general level of panic this early in the morning,” Draco snapped, just like he did when they were on a case and Harry came in bouncing ideas off of the walls left and right before Draco had even finished his first cup of coffee.

His jaw dropped, “but we-” he started, unsure how to finish that sentence, “I don’t-”

Draco groaned, covering his eyes with his arm. “Out with it.”

“Did I take advantage of you last night?” he blurted.

The other man uncovered his eyes and leveled Harry with a look that might have made him feel like a complete idiot, were it not for the fact that Draco was naked and his hair was sticking up in every direction. “Why would you assume something like that?”

(Read more below the cut)

“Because I don’t remember anything, you’re here and naked in my bed, and-” he broke off and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

Draco rolled away and for one devastating moment, Harry was sure he was going to leave, he was sure that he’d ruined everything that he and Draco could have had.

But Draco was just grabbing two hang over potions, handing one to Harry before drinking one himself.

“And…” Draco prompted once he finished his potion, his eyes had gone all soft around the edges and Harry wished for his glasses so he could get a better read on him.

He took a deep breath, in for a Knut and all that, “and I’ve had an embarrassingly massive crush on you for like the better part of five years.”

Draco rolled toward him and murmured, “I know,” as he tucked a curl back behind Harry’s ear.

“You know?” he asked incredulously.

One pale, lovely shoulder raised and Harry was completely distracted by how soft and luscious his skin looked. Godric, Harry had never wanted to suck and bite something so badly in his entire life. “You told me last night,” Draco said, his voice amused and terribly fond.

Harry’s eyes snapped to his, “I did?”

“You did,” Draco replied, leaning closer, his lips mere centimeters away from Harry’s. “Believe it or not, I told you the same thing.”

“You did?” he asked, heart whirring a thousand kilometers a minute.

“I did,” he affirmed, his chuckle ghosting over Harry lips.

He swallowed, “and then what?”

“You kissed me,” Draco said softly. “Like your bloody life depended on it. I begged you to take me home and do,” he shrugged, his pale skin flushing red in the morning light, “well whatever you wanted with me.”

“Where to begin?” he murmured, all but salivating at the prospect.

“Quite,” he replied with another smile in Harry’s direction. “But we were both quite pissed and when we got here, got naked, and got into bed, you started kissing me.”

“Okay,” he said, heart hammering in his chest, furious that he could have forgotten even a moment of this evening.

Draco trailed his fingers over Harry’s bicep, “and then you turned into an utter sap.”

“What?”

He laughed, a soft huff that made Harry squirm closer. “You asked if we could just cuddle.”

Harry blinked, “that is not what I expected.”

“Me either,” Draco confessed, “but it was honestly the sweetest thing anyone has ever asked me. And you were genuinely the most adorable thing. I couldn’t be any more into you if I tried.”

“I’d like to kiss you,” he breathed.

“That works out well, because I’d love for you to kiss me,” he replied and Harry closed the scant distance between them, their bodies surging together.

“Can I-” he started.

But Draco was already nodding, “whatever you want. I’m yours, Harry Potter.”

“And I’m yours,” he replied, hoping that they would spend the rest of their lives waking up together.

————————————

Written for @hdcandyheartsfest prompt February 12: Waking Up Together

February 11: My Heart | February 13: First Kiss

#drunken shenanigans #love #idiots in love #love confessions #drarry #soft #fluff #morning after #sort of #Harry’s a sap #Draco is very much into it #auror partners #hdcandyheartsfest

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thran-duils · 3 years

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Lost In Your Current (P.1)

Title: Lost In Your Current (Part One) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark!Tony Stark. After the snap, the team realizes that certain males were given Alpha status and certain females were assigned as Omegas, all across the galaxy, as a way to control procreation. Only Omega can give birth now. Both are marked and their DNA is tied through their marks. Tony lost Pepper and fell into depression after being rescued by Carol. Even the information that he could have happiness again could not pull him out. Until the loneliness and his new Alpha gene got to be too much. When Steve contacts him that his Omega had been found, Tony cannot resist to collect her. Words: 2,033 Warnings (for the whole fic): Dub-con, a/b/o elements, smut, forced mating

Part Two || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

After he had been brought back from space and found Pepper gone, Tony had been devastated. He isolated himself despite the remaining Avengers efforts. He only let them know he was alive and was reviving himself from being starved and dehydrated in space. When he had received the intel that in the snap, males were given mates, an Alpha and Omega pairing, he had rejected the idea at first, ignoring the small A that had engrained itself on the web of his hand between his forefinger and thumb. But as time waned on, he found himself empty and even admitting that to Rhodes opened up the conversation again about finding his Omega. Rhodes was convinced Tony would find healing in that connection. Thanos had done it to set couples, control procreation. No out of wedlock. There would not be another overpopulation problem. Only Omega were able to breed now. In any corner of the galaxy, it seemed.

Somehow despite his isolation, Tony had gotten word an Omega had been captured and her imprinting mark, an outline on her gland yet to be penetrated, matched his DNA. It was not a surprise to Natasha considering his incessant need for information and adept ability to hack practically any system.

Or maybe it was because Steve had told him. That’s what Tony divulged to her upon his arrival.

“I did not tell you yet for a reason,” Natasha told him.

They were standing in the observation room. Like many Omega after the snap, she had gone into hiding as soon as the information was out, and she had noticed the mark on her neck. People were not keen on being forced into submission and this situation was no different. Quickly, a drug had been developed and distributed. Still, the Omega had stayed in hiding, still fearful they could be detected despite the suppressants.

“Yeah, I’m used to you not telling people things,” Tony told her coldly. “You learned that from Fury well enough.”

Natasha swallowed his insult, knowing he was getting himself riled up just at the sight of her. She needed to be delicate about this. She had planned on telling him and inviting him to the compound but she had wanted to give Y/N time, get her as calm as possible to meet her Alpha. Steve had ruined that. So, she had to just go ahead now that Tony was here, ready to pounce. He had held off for so long, but the loneliness and loss had gotten to him. Or the drive to find himself buried in his Omega had sunk in; hormones were a bitch.

“She’s been on the suppressants. It may take a while for her to feel her heat,” Natasha told him.

“’A while’? How long has she been off them?”

“We’ve had her in here a few days. But a week at least.”

Tony growled and turned away from her. His eyes found Y/N again on the other side of the glass, watching her meander in the room serving as her cell to keep her safe. “She’s so close! A few days at best!”

Tony could already see it, smell it. It did not matter there was a wall separating, she was coming in through the circulation. And she already smelled deserving of his veneration.

Natasha inhaled sharply and took a step towards him. Firmly, she asked, “Do you need to leave, Tony?”

“No!” he spat, shooting her a threatening glare. He was just daring her to try to force him to leave.

As if he would let his prize out of his sight. He had been lost the moment he had laid eyes on her, smelled her sweet scent of sea breeze and jasmine.

Natasha would threaten him in return. She was not afraid of him, unlike most people. She was firm when she told him, “I won’t allow you to mate an Omega without their consent. She won’t realize she’s in heat yet. You need to wait until next cycle. Even if it is your soulmate and you think it’s for the best. And by think, I use it lightly cause I can see your fingers are white with how hard you are trying to hold onto that ledge to keep a grip on control.”

Tony snorted impatiently. Next cycle? Fuck that. He had been stuck in space and been screwed over by Thanos. He lost Pepper. He deserved this. He deserved her, he deserved this new start. He had gotten himself healthy again. And why not for this?

His Alpha was rearing its head; he had his soulmate so close, and he was so convinced he could trip her into heat early.

His eyes were fixated on his mate on the other side of the glass. She was moving around unbeknownst that he could see her, that he was watching her. His cock was tight against his jeans, and he adjusted, shooting a glance at Natasha who did not miss the movement.

He paced more, keeping his eyes set on her. She licked her lips, her hands wringing together as she sat down on the bench at the window she was allowed. She would have so much to look at when she was at his house. He had moved north, bought a large house settled in the mountains. So much space for her to wander, under his direction of course. He could not risk losing her either. But he wanted her happy. Only if happy meant she was with him though. He would not settle for anything less. He would force that mating bond on her if that is what it took to ensure she would warm his bed.

Out of Tony’s sight, Natasha cocked her head towards the door and Carol followed her. They thought Tony did not even notice them leave. Not that that was unexpected considering how zoned in he was.

Outside the room, door closed behind them, Natasha told her, “I’m gonna kill Steve. She needed a week—”

“Steve is just as meat headed as Tony. As little of time I’ve known him, I’ve realized that I’m not shocked he gave him the tip. He has been pretty happy with his mate that he found. I thought someone as virtuous as Captain America would have at least given the situation a second though, but…”

“Hormones are not a joke,” Natasha murmured. She swore and said exasperated, “Tony is not going to leave that fucking room without an armed guard dragging him out.”

Carol shrugged. “Then leave him in there! Let him watch her and keep the eye out he thinks he needs to. As long as he doesn’t break the glass—"

“He’s on edge already, Carol. If he sees anyone enter that room — even IF they’re beta, which is the only people I will send in there now regardless — he could lose it. Send himself into a rut. But she needs testing still and food. She has to interact with our doctors.”

<><><>

Tony had certainly noticed them leave though. And he smirked as soon as the door closed. Idiots.

Waiting for the door to close after Carol and Natasha stepped outside the room, Tony hit his watch.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y…. Hit the ventilation. Knock them out outside the room I am in and hers.”

<><><>

Tony stepped over Natasha and Carol slumped on the ground and then over the guards in the hallway. He held up his watch to the keypad and F.R.I.D.A.Y unlocked the door, giving him access. He shivered physically smelling Y/N full on, her wafting out to him as he pushed the door open. The room was penetrated with her and it was intoxication. The alcohol had done nothing for him since he had returned, no amount of money spent, no amount of women he had taken to his bed. But he actually felt something when he stepped into the room.

She turned away from the window, eyes wide and curious. He made sure to close the door behind him, a barrier to her escaping. He had read in the information he had been given all those months ago that Omega were unruly when they were not claimed yet and the thought made him growl internally. If she tried to run from him… his Alpha was furious at the thought, ready to pin her.

The two of them stared at each other and he could hear her heart beating faster, reacting to him. Natasha was right; she was not ready quite yet but just being in his presence was having an impact. Yes, he could trip her if he got her home, immersed her in his environment. If he was all she could see.

His eyes raked over her and he said, “Well, they certainly don’t know how to dress you all here.”

She looked down at her loose gown and then flicked her gaze back up to his, looking embarrassed. “I’m sorry…”

She was delectable. Submissive. She already wanted to please him, and she had not been properly introduced to him yet. Tony felt his cock hardening. If only he could take her here and now. But he needed to drive her home. He tried to fight the hormones trying to hijack his psyche.

“No, sweet one, don’t apologize. You still look lovely. You’re so fertile….. look at you. Dripping.”

<><><>

You perked up at the compliment. The multiple compliments. You were doing good. Weren’t you? On many levels. Fertile. And wet.

Wait, wait?

He came closer. Still looking entirely in the brink of losing it but he smelled good. He smelled like home.

And that instantly set you on edge, a clear thought cutting through your arousal.

No.

It was him. The Alpha you had been assigned to. And Jesus. It was Tony fucking Stark. Why else would he have this effect on you? Natasha had promised to speak to you and let you decide as you weaned off the suppressants. She had lied and now you were being thrown to the wolves. And no wonder. Tony was her friend. Why would she deny him anything?

You stood quickly and your back hit the wall. You were closing in on yourself, trying to be small. He bristled at your squirrely movement and cocked his head. He immediately placed himself between you and the door to prevent you leaving, holding up his hand. Your heart was hammering.

He was here. He was here to take you away, lock you away.

“You don’t have to be afraid…” Tony said, his voice rolling over you like a high. It was sugary, sweet. “You are safe with me, sweet one.”

Safe. Yes. He would protect you.

You shook your head, closing your eyes tight, trying to shake his influence. Safe meant under his thumb.

Tony was closing the space quickly and you cowered. He was stronger than you and would undoubtedly win a fight.

“Omega…” he said, the title falling from his lips like a song. You froze and he took a few more steps. He shivered, seeing your response. “Be good. You don’t have to be trapped in here anymore. This room is so small, confining. You can come with me… up to our cabin.” Our, the word usage was not lost on you. “There’s a lake. Space to wander. You will have freedom there. With me.”

Half of you was screaming to listen to him, go to him, obey. The other half was screaming at you to try to duck around him and find an escape to make sure you would not fully come off the suppressants and be his puppet, his breeding machine.

Tony was there, inches between you and your chest pulled towards him, wanting him to touch you. He noticed the movement, hunger swimming in his eyes, pupils blown wide.

“That’s it, Omega. Be good.”

A soft whine left your lips, embarrassingly, at the command to be good.

Yet, another thought flashed. This was not right. And your eyes hardened. His jaw clenched at the sight, and you knew you were in trouble. Before you could react, he brought his hand up, and all you felt was cold metal against your neck before you saw black.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney @biiskuitx @buttercupfangirl

#tony stark x reader #dark!tony stark #dark tony stark #alpha tony stark #alpha!tony stark #dark marvel #my shit

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bukojuiice · 3 years

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25 lives — katsuki bakugo

ೃ pairing: pro! hero katsuki bakugo x fem! reader

ೃ tags: alternate universe/time traveler au, a lot of angst, fluff but the sentimental and nostalgic kind, flashbacks, bakugo travels through so many parallel worlds just to find you.

ೃ warnings: strong language. wc: 4,764 words

ೃ my nav → my mha writing masterlist → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

ೃ i created a spotify playlist for this fic, feel free to listen to it while reading here!

ೃ please do reblog if you enjoyed!! it really helps writers and content creators on tumblr! if you want to be a part of my mha taglist. send me an ask! ♡

ೃ Heavily Inspired by one of my favorite written poetry/prose of all time, 25 Lives by Tongari. The poem will be heavily referenced and mentioned in this fic! The lines from said poem can be identified [❝ like this❞.]

ೃ After losing the love of his life in a brutal villain incident, Katsuki Bakugo had lost a part of him. Nothing and no one could ever bring her back. He became the shell of a person he once was; fiery, bright, and the driven #2 Pro-hero in the country. He continues to live life with guilt, all hope still lost until he is gifted a time device that can transport him to parallel universes, dimensions and alternate worlds, where he begins his quest to find his lost love. Crossing a hundred of realities and living twenty-five lifetimes just to bring her back into his arms.

“Stars die. they die and they are not sorry

No matter how much the moon says otherwise.

Stars die and your whole galaxy explodes.”

For the majority of Katsuki Bakugo’s life, he is the main star of the show.

Then, you came into his life and made everything else feel like a rehearsal.

In a world where he mostly treated everyone in his life as extras, you were the main heroine.

When he put up walls around himself, you brought them crashing down.

To him, the concept of love and loving someone romantically was foreign. It always came to him as a question, If whether or not love was something worth living for and sacrificing for, giving your half to another person to be whole, when he can already live for himself.

It was always a question… until you became the answer.

“Use my new baby wisely! Okay, Bakugo-san!?”

Hatsume Mei, a schoolmate of Katsuki back in his UA days, warned him cautiously. She was now an esteemed scientist, one of the best in the country. Katsuki was the first one to come into her mind when she finally completed her new invention, a gadget that can transfer a person’s soul and being to a different body; one in a different space time continuum.

It was as if living a new and different life.

In another universe.

The concept of the device was pretty straight-forward. You are able to go to different dimensions and live the life of your other self; then if it wasn’t the world you wanted to live in, you are free to disappear and go to another parallel universe. It raised skepticism at first and it sounded too good to be true, as how could something as extravagant and complex as this become possible? But they were living in a world full of heroes with the most unique and bizarre quirks, so why can’t it be possible?

This was his chance.

Maybe, with this, he can bring back (Y/N)…

All along, there had been hope.

He was finally going to see her again.

His thoughts bring him back to the day of the incident.

What was reported to be a regular villain attack, escalated into something that no one could expect.

She was the only casualty-

And he was a minute too late.

Was he not fast enough? What could have happened if he had gotten there in time? Hundreds of hundreds of scenarios of what could’ve been still continue to haunt him until this very day, what could have happened if he had only arrived there earlier to save her? The things he would do to see her beautiful face and feel her calming presence once more, to see the loving woman he went back to after a tiring day, to pepper kisses on, to be dancing with in the kitchen at 2 am, to be the sharing the first cup of coffee with in the morning, the one to wake up to every single morning…

The one whom you’d share the rest of your life with.

But, now… that life was gone.

Seeing your limp and unmoving body surrounded by debris was the most devastating experience and image he had to see and go through in his entire life.

He could do nothing but hold you in his arms, gritting his teeth, tears streaming down from his cheeks, feeling nothing but frustration and powerlessness as the world came crashing down on him.

“Dammit (Y/N!) Why you? Why did it have to be you?”

Your resting eyes and dormant body remain steady and… cold. Your boyfriend rests his head on your shoulder, trying to hide that he was bawling in pain and sorrow. Katsuki began to feel the weight of his emotions pulling him down, his thoughts reminding him of his past failures and mistakes, and now that this accident that met your demise became one of those said mistakes, how will he be able to recover? If he was able to overcome his demons and insecurities solely because of you, his friends, and his parental figures to guide him… will he even be able to do the same once again?

He was the #2 Pro Hero too… What will the public think of him?

After he had failed to save the one that he had loved the most?

It has been a year since then.

Katsuki’s life went on without you.

Well, of course it did, Of course it does. It was just an ending, they told him. Not the end.

He told the general public that he had been slowly recovering and that he was able to bounce back to his usual explosive self. Still yelling, still being the competitive and pompous ass he is, even as a Pro-hero. But his friends and family weren’t dumb. Kirishima, his closest confidante knew there was something wrong with him. His parents noticed too that he still wasn’t himself. All of them did.

They all knew Katsuki still hasn’t recovered from the incident at all.

I mean, who would right?

It was perfectly normal to mourn. It was part of the healing process. The Pro Hero Dynamight still can’t move on and that feeling was valid. It takes time to fully heal and he had already made it clear time and time again that he will never ever love someone like the way he loved (Y/N).

But, if there was a way to bring her back, then he wanted to take that chance.

When Izuku heard of news from Hatsume Mei’s newest invention, Katsuki’s green-haired childhood friend immediately told him about it.

Although he was unsure at first, the quirky scientist assured him to wait a little bit more for the trials of the device to finish if he wasn’t sure about it. And when her test subject came back safely, bringing home their lost relative from another universe, that was when Katsuki became sure of his plans.

This was the key to bring (Y/N) back.

It wasn’t going to be easy but he would do absolutely everything just to see you again.

And with that, the day of his world-jumping adventure (literally) had finally arrived.

Bidding farewell to his family and friends, a small gut feeling inside of him says that this might be the last time he’ll ever see them again… and so, in the most Katsuki Bakugo fashion ever, he thanked everyone present that day… indirectly. He expressed appreciation to those who supported him and helped him throughout his life.

Now, it was his time to find the girl who had been there for him the most.

(through his darkest times and saddest nights, she was the ray of sunshine.)

He took a deep breath, turning to his loved ones one last time, a solemn nod yet the cheekiest smirk present on his face as he disappears, whisked away to another world.

The parallel universes that he was going through dropped him into different years of his life. So, Bakugo had to adapt to knowing what age his other self was in the timeline he was currently in. He was lucky that most of the time he landed in a world and at the time where he was a student at UA.

The time where he originally met you.

He needed to take note of every world he had been too because not only were each and every one so different. Katsuki wasn’t a poetic person (his vocabulary mostly composed of colorful words.) but as he continued to jump through so many parallel universes, he had begun to take note of the ones that stood out to him the most. In the form of a poem, one that he thought you would appreciate when he finally reunites with you. Another you at least.

[❝ The very first time I remember you, you are blonde and don’t love me back.❞

✧ This is the first parallel universe in where you were an upperclassman. From Class 3-A. A friend of Nejire, one of the big three. Katsuki was so delighted to see you, only for you to not know him. He was currently one of the most popular students in UA, of course he is, but you paid him no attention, passing by him in the hallways as if he was just another regular freshman, instead, you were seen holding hands with some slimey-looking guy that Katsuki has never ever seen in school. This wasn’t you. Or, at least, this wasn’t the (Y/N) he was looking for. This was only the first parallel world. He wasn’t going to give up.

[❝ The next time you are brunette, and you do.❞ ]

✧ Unrequited love. What a stupid cliché. In this world, he was an idiot too far up his own ass, whilst the entirety of Class 1-A loathed him and did not look up to him like the way they did in his original world. Katsuki was so caught up in trying to change his personality, that he failed to notice you. The girl who was always in the back of the classroom, looking out the window. You were always just there. Never noticed. Admiring him from afar.

[❝ After a while I give up trying to guess if the color of your hair means anything. because even if you don’t exist, I am always in love with you. ❞ ]

✧ This was practically the same world that Katsuki originated from. Only you were missing. Every single event that transpired in his life, had happened in this parallel universe. The USJ Incident, The Forest Camp Training, The Trip to to Nabu Island… everything. There was this huge empty space that you were supposed to fill. Except, you didn’t exist in this universe. It was the quietness and the lack of your presence in this world that bothers him. Katsuki wonders how this other self of his could continue this life without you in the picture.

[❝ I remember most fondly those lifetimes where we get to grow up together, when you share your secrets and sorrows and hiding places with me. ❞ ]

✧ This universe surprised him with puppy love. Here, he was brought back to his childhood. You were his dearest friend and childhood sweetheart. The three of you along with Deku, were a trio. At a very young age, you kept his feet on the ground, never wanting him to think that he was above everyone else despite his powerful quirk. The young Bakugo was able to share his frustrations and insecurities to you, while you always listened. You were always there. He talked about his quirk and his complaints about how the other kids only liked him for his powers, but not for who he actually is. You continued to support him and love him wholesomely for who he was and he was glad to have a friend like you and…. Deku. (as much as he didn’t want to admit it

However, it ended there. The two of you lying down on the hill, looking up at the stars, and shyly holding hands. Just randomly faded away. And in a blink of an eye, the timeline shifts forward to middle school. His worst years, he would say.

He was so eager to see you again and hopefully remain friends with Izuku after all this time.

Yet, you were nowhere to be found and… Izuku wasn’t his friend anymore.

Apparently, the two of you became distant after graduating elementary because you moved away and never got into contact with him ever again.

This was too heartbreaking for this universe’s Bakugo. To have such a wonderful and healthy social life when he was a kid, only for all of that to just disappear when he started middle school. On to the next parallel world then.

[❝ I love how you play along with my bad ideas, before you grow up and realize they are bad ideas. And in our times together I have many bad ideas.❞ ]

✧ The Sludge Villain. A very traumatizing experience that still haunts Katsuki until this very day. In this world, you were still friends with him. Always following him around and making sure he didn’t get into trouble. He continuously pushes you away, telling you that he didn’t need you and you shouldn’t be controlling of him.

You finally had enough of his arrogance that day and… got into an argument with him. It was the same day as the Sludge Villain incident.

It happened in this universe too.

After he was captured by said villain, you ran after him, tears welling up in your eyes, wanting to reach out and save him. The sludge villain noticed you, and became more interested in your quirk, targeting you instead. All Might was a little too late and…

The incident led you to losing your quirk and having to live in a hospital for the rest of your years.

It felt like a long bad dream. One that reminded him of your demise in his original world. Bakugo immediately teleported to a different parallel universe. Not wanting to deal with that kind of sadness ever again.

[❝ When we meet as adults you’re always much more discerning. I don’t blame you. Yet, always, you forgive me.❞ ]

✧ In this universe, you were in the same hero agency. Not knowing each other prior to this. Bakugo was the new hotshot that all the other heroes in your agency were going crazy about, just because he was from UA and was attractive. You didn’t get the hype and why everyone else was fawning over him. He was a Pro-hero just like all of you. So, when you finally met him in the flesh, you could immediately tell he was a conceited ass by the way he looked at you and by the way he presented himself.

Unbeknownst to you, Dynamight’s heart was fluttering with happiness at the sight of seeing you again. Your Pro-hero self. Caring, Bad-ass, Confident, and Courageous… It was you.

Almost you.

After being partnered up with him in hero work for the past months, he began to turn soft, a bit annoying, and act flustered whenever you were around which you immediately thought was very out of character for him.

Then he confesses.

You said no.

It just didn’t feel right. First, your hero career was more important to you and you just couldn’t reciprocate those feelings back. The two of you weren’t for each other, and he understood that. He left you for a moment to go get get some “fresh air.”

Bakugo was getting frustrated. His mind going hazy at the thought that he’s gone to so many parallel worlds yet still haven’t found you is slowly beginning to take a toll on him. But he still wasn’t going to give up.

[❝ As if you understand what’s going on, and you’re making up for all the lifetimes in which one of us doesn’t exist, and the ones where we just, barely, never meet. I hate those. I prefer the ones in which you kill me.❞ ]

✧ The next alternate worlds he went to were an absolute mess. One of them where the two of you barely meet. Merely passing by each other in the street, opening the door for you or entering the same convenience store. Fate not wanting the two of you to meet. Like magnets being pulled away from each other. A romance movie without the romance. As if telling Katsuki that the two of you were never meant to meet in this universe. Don’t even bother.

Then there’s the other one where you were a merciless villain and he was a pro-hero who had to defeat you. He couldn’t do that. You overpowered him.

But, hey, at least he got to see you as the girl who didn’t put up with his shit and could care less about him. Not to mention you were a part of the organization that was against everything that he stood for as a hero.

It was a tragedy. Not the Romeo and Juliet kind, but reminiscent of it. With Romeo sacrificing his life, yet Juliet remains the same and indifferent.

[❝ But when all’s said and done, I’d surrender to you in other ways. Even though each time, I know I’ll see you again, I always wonder is this the last time? Is that really you? And what if you’re perfectly happy without me?❞ ]

✧ Bakugo was finally teleported to a reality where he was a high school student again. However, he wasn’t studying in UA. Instead, having to go to a regular high school (which he was totally irritated about because why is his parallel self here going to a regular school in the first place? What happened to him?) The two of you pass by each other on your way home. Going off in different directions. You were a student at UA, laughing and mindlessly chatting with his friends. Mina, Kirishima, Denki, and Sero…

All of you barely even noticing him and acknowledging his presence.

At this moment, he realized that maybe you weren’t meant to meet in this world again. He felt like a simple character in the background. A small speck of dust in your universe. God, why was he thinking this? This wasn’t like him. He slowly lost his confidence as he goes from one parallel world to the next to find you. He couldn’t even motivate and give himself pep talks anymore. Has he reached the breaking point? Is he still even himself? Is he still Katsuki Bakugo?

Maybe, he should just give up trying at this point. Every single alternate reality so far all ended in tragedy. Not once were the two of you able to reconcile and have a happy ending. It was not like him to give up, but the chances at this point were slim and in each alternate universe, Bakugo just become more and more disappointed with how things turned out with your other-worldly selves…

It was as if the only universe where the two of you became happy was in his original world.

Was he going to stop here?

[❝ Ah, but I don’t blame you; I’ll never burn as brilliantly as you. It’s only fair that I should be the one to chase you across ten, twenty-five, a hundred lifetimes.❞ ]

✧ This was it. The twenty-fifth parallel world. Hopefully, the last one that he has to go to and hopefully the one where he finally he finds you.

Bakugo jumps into the portal, expecting the vibrant colors and hues of the city to appear around him, only for him to be transported to a white box.

In the middle of this white void was a cherry blossom tree. Blooming in the prettiest pink colors, and swaying with the non-existent wind. Near it was a small bench. A feminine figure sitting on it, facing the tree.

It was you.

You.

Katsuki knows it’s you because it’s the same dress you wore that day.

A beautiful blue dress that the two of you bought when you were out for some errands. It was the kind of blue that reminded you of the sky, which is why you bought it in the first place. You were saving it for that day, to wear when you visit Katsuki at work and drop him off his bento lunch.

That day.

Instead of a sky reflecting off of your dress, it became grey. Like the color of a storm instead.

He remembers fondly what happened at that same morning. He was getting ready for hero work, whilst you were rummaging for something inside the closet.

“Ahah!” You exclaimed, finally pulling out something to wear. The sound of the wardrobe hangers clinking from the inside.

Katsuki wanted to take a peek of you but you were giving him no chances. You see him trying to take a look when you noticed his blonde hair spiking up more than usual.

“Hey! No peeking!” You giggled, hiding yourself even further inside your closet.

“Gah. Come on! Just one?” He groans, teasing you, trying his best to pull out his puppy tone. “Please?”

“No.” You deadpanned seriously and you could practically feel him pop a vein.

“Hey! What was that for!? I was just joking-“

“I was just joking too you weirdo.” You giggled again, stepping out of the closet. You take a deep breath and straighten your dress, twirling around for him to see. “How do I look?”

He dashes towards you, picking you up from the ground as he begins to twirl you around.

“Katsuki! Put me down!” You chuckle, feeling his strong arms wrapped around you. “You’re going to be late for work!” You tap his back lightly, trying to get him to put you back on the ground.

“You’re beautiful. You always are.” He says seriously. Not a tinge of playfulness or abrasive in his voice. He was still holding you up, but positioned you in a way that the both of your faces were inches away from each other, gazing at each other’s eyes.

The both of you lean in for a sweet and blissful kiss. It felt light and comforting. A feeling that you always have whenever you were with him. A very giddy feeling.

And at that same day, when he saw you again, surrounded by darkness, your eyes closed, your body tranquil and your gentle face looking ever so at peace…

You still looked beautiful, even then.

“Suki-kun.” You wave at him from afar, a solemn smile present on your face. You beckon him to sit next to you but he hesitates.

“(Y/N)…” His voice cracks, not really noticeable, but you could hear it. “Tch… are you.. real? Is this really you?”

“It’s me, love.” You continue to show him your smile. As you blink, you were suddenly caught in his arms. Katsuki was hugging you tightly like there was no tomorrow, his head nestled on your shoulder. His hug felt warm yet cold, like he had been hugging skeletons all this time whilst trying to find you.

You had no words to say to him.

It was just that kind of moment.

Hearing your voice, hugging you tight, holding your hand, and seeing your smile was enough for him at the moment.

This was you.

Actually you.

“It seemed like a lifetime ago when I began searching for you.” He whispered softly, his voice still so rough yet loving all the same.

A lifetime of pain and sorrow. Of disappointment and missed opportunities.

“Ah…” Your voice trails off. “We don’t have much time left.”

“Huh? What the hell do you mean?” You untangle yourself from his arms, cupping his cheek and rubbing your thumb whilst he holds your hand still.

“I-I can’t go back to our original universe.” You mumble, trying to fight back the tears and continuing to caress his face. “We can’t go back together.”

“(Y/N)!” Bakugo’s face goes stern, as realization hits him. “Shit! (Y/N)! Look, We can get out of here okay!? There’s this device I have-“ The device on his wrist dissolves into nothing as the room around you begins to be consumed by darkness, like sucking you into a black hole.

“Katsuki… no. It’s hopeless! We can’t-“

“Damn it (Y/N)! I’ve traveled through every fucking imaginable universe possible just to find you again! I’ve gone through hell and back just to see you again! I’m not going to leave without you!”

Before you could answer his rebuttal, the bench that both of you were sitting on vanishes and now the two of you were falling in an endless black hole.

As this parallel world around you began spinning faster and faster, the two of you floated upwards, hands locked tightly together, and your eyes sad and bewildered.

The two of you watched as your faces grew younger back to your high school years, like this universe was going in reverse, moving the both of you backwards in time.

You were still holding onto Katsuki’s hands, trying to savor the last few moments with him as you began to say your goodbyes, tears coursing down your face.

“Katsuki… I know you had seen things you wish you hadn’t. You have done things you wish you could take back and I know you’ve been wondering why you’ve been thrown into all of this, why you had to suffer the way you did and why you had to go through so much just to find me. The ghost of me. And as you were going through all these alternate universes alone and hurting, I wish I could tell you that it’s okay. Even if you don’t find me again, I will always be here. My presence will always be lingering. I will live in your heart, Katsuki Bakugo. You deserve the whole world for traveling through twenty-five lifetimes just to look for me. I love you with all my heart, my soul, my being, and all that is left of me… I love you.”

“I-I love you too. Through all these lifetimes I’ve spent with another you, you will always be the one.” Katsuki mumbled, pulling you for one last kiss.

A kiss ever so soft and sweet, worth all the lives he’s experienced.

“Let’s meet again in another lifetime.”

Time continued to reverse back, to the point you no longer knew who you were with. Their face being blocked by a gleam of light. You were grasping the hands of a stranger, but you didn’t let go. And neither did they.

For a moment, there was a calming presence. A whole new world was opening up like a vortex, swallowing the both of you…

Into a whole new universe.

“(Y/N)-chan! Wait up!”

“Oh? Ochaco-chan!”

The brown-haired girl catches up to you, holding on to your arm as she catches her breath. “Can you believe it’s our first day in UA!?”

“I can’t believe it either!” You giggle along with her, taking in the sight that was the top hero academy of Japan.

It was finally the month of April.

The Cherry blossoms were blooming, symbolizing a time of renewal, a time for change and a time to turn over a new leaf.

Today is your first day in UA Academy.

You still haven’t even grasped the fact that you even got in the first place.

Everything still feels so surreal.

The entrance exams and the excitement you felt whilst waiting for the results to release and now, you were about to step foot into the school of your dreams?

What an amazing start to your high school life indeed.

You and Ochaco were standing in the middle of the walkway, still in awe of all the pretty sights when someone bumped into you.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” You called out.

No response.

You turn to take a good look at the person who knocked against you and it was… a guy.

Blonde. Spiky Hair. Hand in his Pockets. Earphones on. His pants worn loose.

God, what a dork.

“It’s alright (Y/N)-chan! He probably didn’t hear us.” Ochaco assured you, trying to pull you away from him before you could even start a fight.

You sighed, turning to your friend with a smile. “Fine. Fineee. Shall we head to class?”

“Class 1-A! Here we go!” She holds onto your arm once more as the both of you giggle and hop your way into the classroom.

“Ochaco-chan! What are you saying!? You do know I got sorted into a different class right? I’m in Class 1-B!”

“A-ah! You’re right! I’m sorryyyy (Y/N)-chan!”

Bakugo turns his head to look back at your animated figure walking behind him. He stares at you for a good second whilst readjusting the earphone on his left ear, as he too, heads on his way to his Class 1-A.

There is something so delicate about time, so fragile. In a slight moment, you can miss something so pivotal, yet never have the chance to see or witness it ever again.

Feeling the presence of the person you would be spending the rest of your life with, joining the dots in the sky, and wondering when your stars would align.

Until then, you will dream of him, and he will do the same.

It was only a matter of time. You will cross paths again.

[❝ until I find the one where you’ll return to me.❞ ]

- Fin.

ೃ taglist: @chibishae34 @sparkykatsuki @ramunegoddess, @serossimpy @drinktheramune

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lene-loki · 3 years

Text

Never Too Close

Summary: After the events of Avengers: Endgame, (Y/N) Romanoff is mourning the death of her sister Natasha. She is unexpectedly finding comfort in the presence of someone who shares the pain of losing the people he loved.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff!Sister Reader

Warnings: Character Death, Spoiler for Avengers: Endgame, Angst, Grief, Suicidal Thoughts

Word Count: 2264 Words

A/N: I hope ya’ll liked this Imagine. Please let me know if you want to get tagged on future Imagines or Series that I want to write. This isn’t proofread and please excuse grammaticaly and verbal mistakes since English isn’t my mother tongue. And now please enjoy!! With Love, Léne xx

(Y/N) = Your Name

The pouring of the rain sounds like a faint whisper in the distance. When I close my eyes and listen precisely to the rustle I can almost hear the voice I long to hear. I open my eyes when the wind starts to blow into my ear, making my whole body shiver. A raindrop lands directly on top of my cheekbone and gets mixed up with a teardrop that escapes my eye. The wet droplet almost feels like a passing kiss. As if she is standing right beside me and kisses my tears away or maybe she cries from heaven herself and her tears end up on my face. I like to think that she watches me from above. Seeing my every move. Despite the rain a familiar warmth is spreading through my heart, making me feel safe and not alone anymore. My eyes blink the tears away, trying to focus on the words that are written on the wooden cross in front of me. The fact that her death is still so recent that she has to wait for a stone to mark her grave, makes me sob. I have looked so many times at that wooden cross that I started to hate it. She deserves a beautiful, carved stone. Not a dirty, broken cross where her name already starts to fade. But she has to wait. Her coffin isn’t set enough to put a heavy stone on top of the earth. I wipe the back of my hand over my tearstained cheeks before I kneel down in front of the grave. Everyday I bring a new kind of flowers by. Making the earth dissapear in a vibrant, little garden. It helps my own mental health to transform the place of grief into a little paradise for her. And I hope this is exactly where she’s at now. In a paradise. My eyes tear away from the flowers before I start counting them again like I always do. Because the number of the flowers is the number of the days since she passed away. My chest hurts, my heart starts to crumble inside when I once again think about the empty coffin under the ground. My sisters body dissapeard when she sacrificed herself to get the Soul Stone. Now all that remained of her is the memory.

Although it’s past midnight when I leave the graveyard I can’t help but to ring Clint out of his sleep - as well as his wife and his children probably. He picks up the phone with a yawn, his voice raspy from his deep sleep. He is the closest I have to family now and he knows. He always cared for me and Natasha and now that she’s gone he’s supporting me more than ever. Giving me a shoulder to cry on no matter how late it is. That is exactly whe he’s never annoyed when I call him at times like this. My loneliness leads the conversation as I tell him that I don’t know where to go. “Where are you right now, (Y/N)?” I shrug my shoulders even though he can’t see. “I think I’m near the Avengers compound.” My voice is barely louder than a whisper. My throats stil sore from my hour long crying at Natashas grave. “I can pick you up. You can stay at mines if you want.” He suggests and I can hear him fumbling with the bedsheets in the background. Ever since Natashas passing, I stayed at the Avengers compound in her former room. But sometimes it gets too much being surrounded by her memories and her whole life in just that little space. Everything in her room reminds me of her scent, her smile, her voice, the look in her eyes - especially that tiny twinkle in her iris that always appeared when she felt extremely proud of me. I have to pull myself together to not sob again and alarm Clint even more. As much as I want to escape from the compound for a little while, I don’t want to wear out Clints care for me. I feel like I already asked too much of him. “No, it’s okay. I’m sorry that I woke you.” I swallow the lump down in my throat in hopes he doesn’t hear how near I am to losing it all again. He sighs at the other end. “You’re sure?” “Yes.” “Okay, love. Don’t apologize for calling me.” His voice sounds so soft I could fall asleep immediately on the side of the road. He just has this soothing affect on me. I hang up after telling him that I love him and walk in the dim lights of the streetlamps to the compound.

Inside the building everything is pitch dark. The only light comes from Wandas room. It’s red and spreads in chaotic rays around the space of her own four walls. She surely is training her magic since she still hasn’t full control over her powers what burdened her more than usually the last couple of days. I decide not to disturb the Scarlet Witch and seek refuge in Natashas room. I really try to sleep but since Thanos happened my nights are as restless as my hurting heart. I’m still wide awake physically but dangerously exhausted mentally when I hear voices in the early morning hours in the kitchen. Wandas voice makes me wonder if she’s been awake the whole night as well. I leave the room in my short pyjama shorts and my plain white T-Shirt. I wouldn’t fall asleep anyway so I might as well just get up and start another day of inner misery. I round the corner to the kitchen island where Pepper placed a large bowl of exotic fruits on top. The blonde showed me a sad smile since she’s lost in her own grief. Pepper disappears out of the kitchen - leaving me alone with Wanda and a familiar brunette man which I recognize from Tony’s funeral. I can’t remeber his name but I recall the pained expression on his face and the devastated haze over his pupils. He seems like he always looks like pure misery. “Good morning.” I greet them both shyly since they haven’t notice me yet. Wanda immediately sends a heartful smile in my direction while the stranger’s corners of his mouth just twitch the slightest bit upward - almost to tiny to notice. I also perceive his new hairstyle. The last time I saw him he had messy, long waves. Longer than shoulder length and a full beard. Now he has his hair cut short and looking neat with his jawline covered in dark stubbles instead of the fullgrown beard. “Bucky, this is (Y/N). She is Natashas’ sister.” Wanda explains him in her thick, sokovian accent since he developed the same look of recognition on his face as me. Now the puzzle pieces click together. That is Bucky Barnes. Steves’ best friend and the other Super Soldier. His facial features unravel in realization. “Oh, right. Hello, (Y/N). Nice to meet you again and I’m... Sorry about your loss.” He frowns at the last part. “Thank you, it’s nice to see you again in less sorrowful circumstances.” I try to lighten up the mood a bit because I don’t want to start my day already with a bad encounter that reminds me once again how miserable I am inside. Unsure if we should shake hands, Bucky’s metal arm jerks briefly in my direction but he instantly lets it sink again - wrapping the room in an uncomfortable silence. “Well it was nice to see you again. I got to go now.” I excuse myself from the weird situation and leave without breakfast to go to my Natasha’s room. I still feel uncomfortable calling it my room since it was Natsha’s place to live for so many years. I didn’t completely lie to Bucky and Wanda since it’s a new day and time to pick up new flowers for my sisters grave. I change into comfy short, cotton pants and an old, blue pullover from Natashas wardrobe before I leave the compound.

I take a cab to the same flower shop I visit everyday. Where even the owner knows me by name already. Today marks exactly thirty days since Natasha died. A whole month without my older sister by my side. I ordered a special type of flower for this occasion. A bouqet of beautiful Royal Azaleas - the most precious flowers of our native country Russia. As beautiful as Natasha and I like how it brings a bit of our home to her - making her little paradise even more exotic. At the graveyard I am so consumed in my own thoughts to where I’m going to place the Royal Azaleas on the ground in front of the wooden cross, that I don’t notice right away the broad figure a few feet away from me. He’s standing upset in his posture and bent a little forward above a grave. It’s the back of his head - his freshly done hair and the colour of his shirt that gives him away and I realise that it’s Bucky. I decide against it to walk up to him since he’s mourning in his own world as well and obviously needs his space. My eyes tear away from the picture of the broken man in front of me and I finally walk straight up to Natashas grave. I crouch slightly to put my bag on the ground. I brought a little shovel to set the new flowers into the earth directly in front of the cross - making the Azaleas stand out from the rest. It is when I walk over to the well a few feet away from me to pick up the watering can, that Bucky notices he’s not alone. The can is filled to the brink and quite heavy in my hand as I carry it to Natashas grave, losing waterdrops on my way there. I silently water the flowers - careful not to drown them in the lack of strength I have in my hand that is holding the water can. The whole time I can feel his stare on me and I can almost feel his inner battle if he should come up to me or not. A few moments later he starts nervously walking up to me while I clean the little shovel to stow it away in my bag. “Do you still the need the watering can?” He asks hoarsely as he comes to a halt beside my bend over figure - blocking the sun out of my view which throws a few rays on the water droplets. Making them sparkle inbetween the flowers of Natashas floral paradise. “No.” I smile softly at him and stand up again. He returns my friendly grin and takes the water can but doesn’t leave straight away. He hesitates a second unsure of if he should leave me alone again, but somehow I long for company - not wanting to speak with the wind again and hallucinate about Natashas voice. “I lost everyone. Natasha was the only one left of my family. Although Clint supports the weight of my grief to make me feel like I’m not alone I still feel like it. I always felt like I’m alone in this world and deep down I don’t feel like I belong to the Avengers either. It was Natashas community. Not mine.” My eyes start to sting with upcoming tears while I open up to Bucky. I don’t really know why I do this. I guess I never felt so out of place and so lonely like I did in the past days and it scares me. Bucky clears his throat, his glance burning holes into my soul as he watches every slightest movement of my facial expressions. “I went through losing the people I love so many times that I lost count of it.” He blinks the tears away which threatens to fall from his eyes. “After Steve left to live the life with Peggy he always dramed to have, I officially got left alone. Steve was so much more than my friend. He was my brother.” He sniffs. “And now I’m searching for a sign - just something that keeps me in this life.” I let my tears run freely as I identify his words as my own feelings. And I realise that we are two souls hurting from the same experiences building a connection to one another through the desperation of having lost any strength to keep living. “Without wanting to get too close to you, I think you just as broken inside as me.” He speaks up. His eyes are swollen and red, still glossy from fresh tears which haven’t stopped being reproduced and leaking out of the corner of his eyes. I strangely feel comfort in the detail that his blue pullover matches mine. My heart starts to pick up a pace as I cross a vulnerable line between us and say: “I think you can never be too close to someone. I’m sure closeness is what we both need the most now.” I gift him a teary smile which he returns with a faint tint of red across his cheeks. Our encounter feels like a big step for the both of us - coming out of our shells we’ve been hiding in like anxious snails and I could feel it in the beating behind my ripcage that it was towards the right direction.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fic #y/n #bucky x original female character #bucky x y/n #bucky imagine #marvel #avengers #endgame #clint barton #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #black widow

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