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#and that means just getting thru the semester and passing

thisiswash · 2 months

Text

thank you boootthhh

but honestly the issue was just that uh

this class is basically ‘design of metalworking’ so far? Which is not the manufacturing i worked in, i worked in milling, turning, anodizing, 3D printing, secondaries and quality

so i really didn’t know any of the content, like why would i want to know if face centric or body centric iron is more carbon soluble unless i produce raw cast iron

#thank you both thoooouuuughhhh #<3 #my only concern right now is just #graduating #and that means just getting thru the semester and passing

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pjsk-writin · 1 year

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i feel a little bad for requesting right after the inbox opened again...but also i don't want it to get overloaded before i do so 😭

weirdly specific scenario..what abt rui/ena x a dyscalculic reader who hasn't been talking/hanging out with them much and they're not quite sure why, so they plan to ask them on an upcoming school day, and then *on* that school day the reader has a breakdown in the middle of class over a report card/missing assignment report because they have just about all their math assignments for that semester missing, and the reason they haven't been spending time with their partner is because they've been getting detentions because they just have. that much missing work they cant get thru because mat h.

take ur time with this !!! don't overwork urselffff

-💠

VDNSKFJDN glad u did bc hoo boy did it get overran/lh but I gotchu, math is a btich and I am sending u support!! hope u like this !! <3

♡ DYSCALCULIC - Rui Kamishiro and Ena Shinonome x Reader

Rui:

Rui is, unsurprisingly, used to people dropping his company out of nowhere. This is why he's not too surprised when you stop hanging out with him, but he still wants to ask anyway

On the day he tries to ask you, he walks in on you breaking down in class, clutching a piece of paper in your hands.

It's more instinctual than anything when he embraces you in a hug and kisses your forehead, holding you close as he looks down at the paper

It shows your report card, and how you've been failing your math class due to the amount of work you've missed.

"Oh dearest, is this why you haven't been around much?" You simply nodded, and he hugged you closer. "Shh, it's alright, I'll help you."

True to his word, he helps you out, even offering to sit with you during your detentions to tutor you!

He knows that your dyscalculia makes math incredibly difficult, but he's more than willing to find what works best for you if it means you passing math and hanging out with him again <3

Ena:

Ena is more than aware that it's hard to talk to someone who only takes night classes, but she still notices how your messages have dwindled. What was up with that?

She decides to visit you during the day (which takes a lot for her to do) but is surprised to find you breaking down in class

She does not care if she is trespassing, she's taking you by the hand and bringing you to a more private place, hesitant but wiping your tears either way

She glances down at the paper in your hands while doing so, and finds out how you're failing math because of how much work you've missed.

"Hey, I know I'm not one to talk, but this doesn't look good." She mutters, looking at the paper before looking up at you. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

She may not be the most academic person, but she's definitely going to try her best to find anything that can help you out-

The last time she tried to help you with your math, she cussed your homework out, so she helps you find other ways. Still though, she's with you the entire time as moral support, your number one cheerleader <3

#project sekai x reader #pjsk x reader #rui kamishiro x reader #kamishiro rui x reader #ena shinonome x reader #shinonome ena x reader #💠 anon

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reverie-starlight · 1 year

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hello, hope ure doing well :D may i please request an akaashi fic where the reader is going thru grief of the passing of their mother and can’t focus in class leading onto low grades for their semester exam making them feel even worse bc that’s not what their mom wants (reader always gets good grades) and reader feels like a disappointment and just breaks down one day?? i’m so sorry if this is too specific, just finding it hard to cope and no one understands!! thank you so much <3

ANON I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, but I have literally been dealing with exactly what you requested (still am, but now I'm on reading week so :P). And since I'm literally writing this immediately after a rough grieving session of my own, I feel like now I can tackle it and do it justice. bc... as someone who also used to get good grades before my mom died then started almost failing everything after... this hits hard!!

And just another little side note, I'm so sorry for your loss. if you ever want to reach out to talk to someone who's going through the same thing, my inbox or my messages are always open <3 dead mom club solidarity !! thank you so much for your request, anon and again i'm SO sorry this took so long.

{Grades and Grief- Akaashi}

warnings: death of mother (mentioned and focused on, no descriptive details), depression/grief, anxiety, this counts as hurt/comfort right? fluff and lots of support from akaashi. university life needs to be a warning tbh so its here.

gn!reader, timeskip!akaashi (except it's more like, in between the time skip cause it's university)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

your heart dropped as you opened your emails and saw that the grades for your midterms had been posted.

on one hand you were hopeful. maybe you did better than you expected? maybe you would open up the online portal and see that you passed. just a pass, that's all you were hoping for at this point.

you ignored the way your stomach twisted at the fact that all you wanted was a pass. you used to be at the top of your classes in high school, and now you were barely scraping by.

but deep down you knew it would be a failing grade. it was getting impossible to hope for anything better. you could barely find it in yourself to go to class some days, let alone actually study. it required more brain power than you could expend.

and on the days you did go to class, you felt like a zombie. mindless, lethargic, stupid. definitely not in any condition to take notes that were good enough to aid you.

you opened the email and sighed. another fail. you tried to convince yourself that you'd do better next time. that you'd start studying earlier, you'd go to your professor's office hours and ask questions, you'd do the work that needed to be done.

your future was at stake, why couldn't you just put in the the work-

this was one test in one class. there would be other chances to raise your grade.

breathe.

how many times can I keep telling myself that before I stop believing it? before it becomes an empty promise?

breathe. you'll be okay.

it's self-sabotage, how much longer can I just stay like this? mom wouldn't have wanted this for me. she'd want to see me succeed. I'm such a-

breathe.

you tried to do exactly what your boyfriend kept telling you: be kind to yourself. "you're grieving the death of someone who was supposed to be there your whole life. the one person you never thought would leave. it's completely natural to be struggling with your mental health right now. don't be mean to yourself." is what he had said. "take the time to feel what you need to feel, bottling it up will only make it worse."

you sighed and curled yourself into a ball on your bed. you were finding it hard to breathe.

feel what you need to feel, huh? when was the last time you had a good cry session, anyway?

the tightness in your chest only grew as you started to tear up. you tried to keep the thoughts of being a disappointment to your mother away, but you glanced at the picture of her smiling face on your nightstand and winced.

if she could see you know, you wondered if she would be angry or comforting.

grieving was one of the loneliest experiences anyone could ever deal with. unique to each person, not one person to share the same memories with, becoming acutely aware of your own timeline. and not something that happens often to young people. none of your friends understood. they could try, but they'd never get it. and sometimes you felt like they didn't even care enough to attempt it.

you've never felt more alone and you've never been more aware of it.

"and if you ever need comfort, I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'm always here to listen. it's never going to be too much."

so instead of dwelling on it, you picked up your phone and called the one person who would.

it took three rings for akaashi to pick up.

the smile in his voice immediately soothed you. anything related to your boyfriend felt like a blanket to you. comforting, warm and soft. "hello, my love, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

you sniffed and tried to get some words out without choking up. "keiji," his name came out pitifully.

"oh sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"can you come over, please? I need you."

"of course I can, I'll be right there. I love you."

"I love you, please be careful."

the second you hung up the phone, you let more tears fall freely. you didn't even know what you were crying about anymore, there were so many emotions mixed up inside you. but for some reason you didn't want to fully let loose while you were alone. you wanted comfort when you were at your most vulnerable- comfort and validation you weren't capable of giving yourself in that moment. there was only one other person who could give you that now.

while you waited, you thought more about your mother. it really wasn't fair that you had to lose her, why did she have to go? it didn't matter how long it had been since she passed, this type of pain will be everlasting, you thought.

ten minutes later you heard the door to your apartment unlock and you got up to greet him. he had a bunch of bags in his arms that he set down the minute he saw you walk out of your room.

he held his arms open and you crashed into him immediately. finally you felt safe enough to let the dam break. akaashi shushed you as you sobbed into his chest, rubbing your back gently and whispering soft affirmations into your ears.

"what happened, my love?"

"I- I failed another test," you hiccupped. "and I don't know what to do to help myself get out of this hole."

"oh dear... it's going to be okay."

he tenderly picked you up and carried you to the bedroom and you continued to cry into his shoulder. his heart broke at the sound of your whimpers.

once you were both settled comfortably on your bed, you took one of his hands and played with his fingers. "keiji, am I a disappointment?"

he shook his head before you could even finish speaking. "never."

"I just feel like I'm letting so many people down, myself included, but mainly my mom... her one request throughout my whole life was that I do my best in school. and now I'm failing and I can't help but think-" your voice cracked and he cupped your cheek with his other hand.

"baby, look at me. you are not a disappointment, okay? you are so far from that ever even being a possibility. and she would be so proud of you."

you looked up at him and your eyes widened. "but I'm not living up to her expectations-"

"you're doing your best. she would understand that."

"I'm not, though!" a flash of red hot anger ran through you. "I'm not doing my best! If I were doing my best, I'd be passing. I'd be studying, paying attention in my classes and not just staying in bed. not just staring at the ceiling and dissociating for hours when I need to be working on assignments. I'm not doing my best and I don't know how to fix it!" instead of getting upset at you for blowing up, he just listened to what you were saying.

as you got up to pace the room, you kept ranting. "I know something needs to change, I can't keep going on like this, but it's like I'm stuck, keiji, I don't know what to do and I'm so angry. and I'm tired, exhausted, actually. I hate this, I feel useless. I'm in limbo. I don't know why I can't force myself to change, but I'm absolutely not doing my best."

true anger wasn't an emotion you felt often before your mom died, but now you were well acquainted with it. you thanked your lucky stars you scored a partner as patient as akaashi.

"have you considered that you're doing the best with what you have right now?"

you paused and looked at him. "what?"

he shifted and took your hand. "my love, you've been through something extremely traumatic. you've told me before that you've been in survival mode for a very long time now. that's not your fault. you can't control it on your own. keeping that in mind, you absolutely are doing your best. you get up and keep going everyday. even though it scares you. you're still kind, and actively striving to be a good person. this rough patch is temporary, everything will be okay. she would be proud of you for everything you've overcome so far."

you bit your lip and looked down, shaking your head. "what if this is 'my best' forever? what if I'm not capable of changing anymore?"

"anyone is capable of change at any given time, my love, you're the one who told me that. I promise you, everything will be okay. and besides," he tugged your hand to guide you onto his lap. "the willingness to change and not just refuse to heal is there."

"but what if it takes too long?"

"it won't. there's no such thing as too long, everyone's healing process is different. and you have me by your side as well, ready to help however you need." he finished his speech with a kiss to your nose and you smiled a bit.

"...thank you, keiji. I love you."

"I love you too, dear. I'll be here as long as you'll let me."

"forever, if that's alright with you?"

"of course, my love." his arms tightened around you.

"can we stay like this for a bit longer?"

"mhmm, you've had a big day. we can cuddle for as long as you need."

you buried your face into the crook of his neck and planted a few kisses. "I love you,"

he kissed the top of your head. "I love you too, sweetheart."

you repeated the phrase over and over again, smiling a little wider each time he returned the sentiment with a kiss to your face.

"can I ask you one more thing?"

"go ahead."

"are you proud of me despite me failing so much this year?"

"I'm so proud of you, baby. nothing would ever change that."

looking up at him with wide eyes, he just smiled and leaned down to kiss your lips. "so proud of my baby. always trying their best. so sweet, so kind, just needs to be loved on a little extra sometimes. all mine."

a happy sigh was released, and with it, most of the tension in your body, so you rested against your boyfriend. "all yours."

you felt a lot better now. not perfect, and still uncertain about some things, but at least with akaashi there you knew you didn't have to go it alone.

~BONUS SCENE~

after a while of cuddling in bed, a thought hit you and you shot up, obviously in a clearer, less fuzzy state of mind.

"love, what were all those bags you had earlier? did you stop somewhere before you came?"

his eyes widened a bit and a blush spread over his cheeks. "yes and no. uh... before you called, I was actually picking us up some food and other things for a stay-in date night. I was planning on surprising you today."

you could have burst into tears again at how cute his confession was. "keijiiiii, you're so sweet!" you ran your fingers through his hair a bit and he melted into the touch. "what a sweet boy I have," you cooed.

he made a noise of protest and you giggled. "can we go see what you bought? please?"

he nodded and smiled at you. he was so glad you seemed to be in better spirits now. there wasn't anything akaashi keiji wouldn't do to see you happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this was literally just me projecting holy shit. that was really a look inside my brain, wow. but anon I hope you enjoyed it!! and I hope it was worth the wait, I'm so so so so sorry it took so long. this is the first thing I've managed to write in a while (and I wrote this all in one sitting!!). But the ask was very therapeutic for me, I really need this type of validation :'D

#akaashi x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji fluff #akaashi x reader fluff #akaashi x reader angst #akaashi keiji angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader fluff #haikyuu x reader angst

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femmesandhoney · 21 days

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Hey I hope this isn't too annoying of an ask, but literally how are you so happy at college? You're like the student I want to be, you're always posting on here about your classes and you're so engaged and seem so into it. Every semester for me is just another couple months of the time passing and panicking. I'm either completely paralyzed in bed or I'm crying in bed. Like, how do you seem so good at this?

it's not all sunshine and rainbows believe me. even my best friend has told me i come off as someone who "has it all figured out", but i often do not feel the same lol, i miss assignments, i stress out and procrastinate until the last minute, i get drained from all the work mentally and physically. all the regular college shit. outside of that tho, i legitimately love learning and interacting with others who are interested in what i like and who i can learn from. that's usually what keeps me happy! i love the people i meet in my classes, i like group discussions, i like being introduced to new things, i love my profs and take all the classes i can with them. generally, im just friendly w people in my classes and that makes me enjoy going to them, and i take classes i enjoy, and if they're reqs i don't care for, i always try to take something out of the experience.

some people do not find learning for the sake of learning fun, but i do, which makes even the roughest days okay, but that doesn't mean the tedious and demanding aspects of college curricula do not wear me down too. i decided to wait to go to grad school bc im exhausted! i am tired and need a break from always having another damn assignment to do and another article to read 😭 those things are taxing, and i already have bad self discipline habits, so you can imagine i often make stuff harder for myself than they need to be. the only reason i get good grades is bc im smart and have a relatively easy time understanding the subjects i study. if i take anything outside my favorite academic areas, like say the natural resources class i took a few years ago, that shit had me crying every damn day lmao.

so yeah, i just enjoy learning for learning sake, but also i like academia and going thru the motions of a classroom experience is fun to me for all the reasons i listed, including the fact i want to be a college professor and just enjoy that atmosphere a lot. i would wager if you're constantly frustrated by your college experience, maybe analyze a bit deeper on what you most dislike? is it specific profs, the people in ur classes, the subject material itself? if theres anything you can try and control to make it more agreeable for you, always take the opportunity, tho ik its not always possible. im lucky that all my areas of study have naturally wonderful people drawn to them (especially the international studies students!), but ik some majors can draw less nice people sometimes :( which can make ur experience harder than it should be. or some people legitimately do not enjoy the institutions that are schools and what they traditionally demand from a person, which is completely understandable. my best friend didn't go to college bc she barely graduated high school bc she hated attending and never turned in her hw. some people just do not thrive in such strict school environments for many reasons. but whatever your case is, i hope you have easier semesters in the future if you continue, no one should ever be so stressed from a class that they cry over it. i think thats a failure of a class and a professor when that occurs, and a sign of a bad class/prof rather than a bad student.

#im writing this at 2am i hope its not typo ridden

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yuuainnie · 2 years

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༻﹡﹡﹡SOUL LINK﹡﹡﹡༺

context: in which your thread of fate made you and him connected and linked through worlds might you two be apart.

IDIA SHROUD ( soul link v1 )

┌──❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚─┐

You both exchange bodies with one another, one day when idia is still in his 2nd year.

|| YOUR POINT ||

-> during soul link

You made a mess and a name in NRC under one day.

That being winning against leona in a race ( totally not because you kick his leg when his distracted and caught off guard at the moment ) and acing Idia physical fitness test with flying colors. ( A quirk of soul link, you don't get bound by physical, magic or human capacity, your like super human ) which grant you permission to not go to class for whole semester!!?? ( It's because you perfect the activity back to back ))

Everyone did discovered your not idia but idia still get the points as technically it's idia's body.

Your known to be "madman" instead of Idia shroud. So idia won't know the mess you made... Sort off.

-> after soul link.

You discovered your gadget get upgrade and government almost want to chase your ass or hacking the pyramid data base but luckily idia is too smart to be trace back.

You did get bit coins out of nowhere. Smh, idia become rich under one day here ?

You saw a note that says: your world technology sucks.

|| HIS POINT ||

-> during soul link

Would be super awkward about things at first but then realize it's holiday ( lucky him ) and went to surf the internet.

It end up with him upgrading your gadget and making your own internet for better signal, by hacking to the world government.

He went too far with hacking as he went to check the world way of living like the dark web to pyramid org.

In the end, he went and downloaded some games and played it while he wait for the day to pass.

-> after soul link

Very confused why people stare at him in a idolizing gaze for couple of days.

Also scared how leona is glaring at his direction when they meet one time.

Ortho won't even say what happen and just giggle.

He found a note saying: sorry. I don't mean too.

Very odd words to say at least.

Get very scared out of his wits when he discovered why that note was written that way.

WHY MUST YOU MAKE MY LIFE HELL?

in a sidenote his thankful he don't need to go to PE for a whole semester by the deeds you did for him in fitness class.

Face to face Meeting:

The moment your dragged into twisted wonderland the year later, you somehow confuse how the whole world seems familiar, the moment you and him made eye to eye contact. You felt linked.

"OMG. ITS YOU." you point at him.

"GAHH ITS YOU." He looks very scared and don't want to deal with you right now

Yuu: ">;((( why did you hack the pyramid org, you rascal?! government almost want to burn my ass!!"

Idia: " *gasp. >:((( I should be asking you why you use my body to cause trouble instead...! Everyone now, think I'm some sort of ssr boss for kicking leona last year! They went and cause trouble with me, I don't like when people use force...!"

Normally idia won't be daring to say those but there's only two of you in the courtyard when you both bump to one another. He felt free enough around you to say whats on his mind. It felt like his chatting online where he freely can say what he want. ( A quirks of soul link )

You two did act like you both don't know each other after a farewell of hard stare at one another. Through in the end, you and him become somewhat close because of circumstances that made you two pair up in classes where 3rd year and 1st year have mix class.

└───❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚┘

I honestly write three other version of this. I'll write Ortho version of Soul link. Yes soul link could be a platonic thing too, it don't mean soul mate. You and him just linked in a way. This probably au I made up(?) Idk if people made this kind of au thru.

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland ortho #idia shroud #twisted wonderland idia #idia shroud x reader #idia x reader #twisted wonderland idia x reader #soul link au #soul link twst au

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munamania · 8 months

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ohhhhhhhhhhhhh guys. i have HILARIOUS updates for you from today. warning this post will be rambly but it has some hits and i think if im not your favorite character in life i really should be. ok

OKAY. so it all starts with a dream. i dream that ruby cruz is on my campus shooting smth and long story short she approaches me at one point, as shes abt to say smth my one friend pops in like 'oh hey is this your girl?' meaning FILM GIRL. and everything morphs in that moment like a fucking comical nightmare and im like What No except it was... and okay anyway. i didnt sleep a lot and this is the first dream mention of her in a while. well get this.

spot her on campus as lydia and i r fucking RUSHING bc not one but TWO buses passed us. im like huh first spotting of the semester odd time but ok.... meanwhile i just have this dread so ancient in me because she also has her film major so at any point i can be jumpscared. it wasnt even that real genuinely im at a point where im like ok that shit was fucking stupid and i shouldnt have gone thru all that so she sucks but whatever. anywho we rush into class late with the bESTTTTTTT prof <33333333 im settling im sat im figuring out the space. im sitting at the front however with lydia so like i take a little while to do some glimpses around the class... well get this!

yeah shes there. and im kind of like. sigh. okay whatever. lydias staring at me like Hey so um....... and im like Yeah im aware i know. but i see so many other film people i know to varying degrees so thats cool!!!! im like yippeee also my prof keeps referring to me directly so im like heyyyyyyyyyyy queen <3 esp bc she has like legit aphantasia and i didnt even participate That Much last year but it gets crazier! we're going through attendance and who's directly behind me but abby lee miller! jk um it's my friend im kind of having a flirty little moment with maybe? idfk so im like redactedddd what r u doing hereeeee. and theyre also well aware of the drama we bonded talking shit.

so yeah imagine being me. psychologically attacked every step of the way. except it's lowkey really fun and silly i was having a funny time. i had to laugh! and talked to people and it was fine. but also everyone knows each other to varying degrees and so im sitting there feeling like im being slowly cooked alive. in a fun way...

but also we watched joan is awful in class and the prof was telling us about how you can do it to your face and have a poster (except then netflix can use ur face!) and she singles out '[film girl] is awful' out of everyoneeeeeeee so i had to giggle i had to laugh like without knowing anything my prof is such an ally to me personally fucking love her <3 she also had an association with her and frankie grande and i was like yeah. make her gayappropriatingstraightbi ass uncomfortable. anyway.

and then also. sigh hello lydia if ur seeing this. i try to introduce lydia and that friend and after the typical introduction i was like 'yeah cool i mean ive talked to you about each other at various points!' like girl why would you say something like that. like huh. neither of them says anything and i save it by bringing up our bottoms plans but i was just sitting there in my own goddamn mind control room like yeah ok. girlfailureloser moment. why are you WEIRD. it's not even that real actually im awkward frequently and people roll with it but just given the energy of everything going on in class it was a really great way to end. and then we talked to that prof for a While after class she's literally the best she would do numbers on here. within the cool lesbian mutuals space anyway and thats all that matters. and we talked about bottoms !!!!!<33333 and willow and shes like yeah ok dyke in the most affectionate way i can possibly say that i love herrrrrr

#abby talks #im being tested.#but also im having a lot of fun and i feel really like comfortable and chill and happy to feel like i have support yk #u cant get me down when im in my element Bitch.

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videostak · 1 year

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i think my plan rn to better my life is to maybe VERY VERY SOON just start practicing japanese regularly again. just liek going thru everything i learned in that semester i took i still have all the powerpoint slides n stuff on my computer and will just work thru the book and practice regularly as much as i can and then go back to college. dating apps dont work for me cause it feels like a weird walk of shame like going on an app of ppl meaning to meet ppl who also arent interested in me and i dont mind that cause obv like ppl dont have to be interested in me i just hate that the ones who are are just weirdos who somehow find ways to objectify me more than i objectify myself lol. anyways college is probably the place to meet people. luckily no one of those awful ppl i knew go to the community college i went to and the only one who did stopped going around the same time i stopped too so i wont have to fear running into any of them :P but ya i really need to do SOMETHING ANYTHING to be SOMEWHERE ANYWHERE or i may pass away from not being handled with care ;-; i wanna find a job b4 any of that but honestly at this point beggars cant be choosers so i should just get my japanese studying back on and see what happens first me restudying all of japan 1 or me finding a job. and since i wanna take part time classes i can still job hunt while having classes. just wanna take japan 2 and film studies 2 cause i took film studies 1 and loved it soooo much. dont wanna take anything like art or smthn as much as id love to study art cause id have to waste money on materials that would be expensive and last time i took a beginner art class the teacher had to tell me to drop it cause my skills sucked so much lolll and like doing art stuff on a deadline is the worst for me but like hypothetically in the future id be down to try art classes again if things go well with my other studies

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yanderelovlies · 1 year

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✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!

Alright what’s the schedule? Lol

Yes same to that sentiment. Yes like I actually feel bad sometimes when someone gets me something since then I can’t refuse it and also sometimes I’m not crazy about it but the thought counts. It is sometime I wish I can turn it off but nope. I mean ay least we are responsible with money.

Alright. Let me get the list

Helluva Boss

The Owl House

Amphibia

Arcane

Gravity Falls

Sunny Day Jack

My Dear hatchet man

See Thru: Need a Friend

My Hero Academia ( though have lost interest on later seasons and manga)

Tokyo Revengers

Fnaf ( more into lore than games. I love reading fanfiction about it it’s fun seeing theories)

The rest I have to remember but I like more anime and shows but these are the ones I indulge into the most. Hmm what’s wrong on aliexpress? Not trustworthy or selling it for crazy prices? I hope you find it soon viví!

Wow it really was that bad though can’t blame you I don’t think that work environment is good for you especially still in school. Do what I couldn’t do and pass the math. I’m serious I literally think I would’ve failed a grade from it. Ooh what kind of tips if I may ask?

Thanks viví especially you waiting for my replies and sorry again for taking awhile. I do my best to respond the fastest I can but it’s so busy in life sometimes I barely even have to wind down. It’s always great to see your replies and hear from you as well!

Ooh so cute! Any songs in particular you recommend or love to hear while driving?

Seriously it is like that. Your basically in danger for showing basic human decency for being tricked and hurt by horrible people it’s crazy. If your not paranoid you can get easily hurt worse. That’s why I just like staying inside so much. At least you have enough bravery to do that, I hate people hearing my music unless I let them and it’s rare. I mean seriously not even my family hears a lot of my music since it’s so personal to me and also I’m afraid they look at me weird for my taste. My music taste is wild. So yeah I don’t even take chances doing that since I feel self conscious and since I have terrible hearing well unless I want the world to hear I can’t do the same shame.

Honestly yeah. Yeah and on the other side there are people who demand your attention even if you visited there table twenty times and get mad if you don’t visit for four minutes it’s ridiculous and get mad at me for it. Thankfully most are patient. Yeah at least I’m used to it also so I have more patience.

Also to answer the other thing I said about having a break don’t worry viví! Tell your brain to shut up and have a break otherwise you’ll get stressed from the pressure. I mean at least you have a schedule but don’t be afraid to take a break on it. You make these requests for free so people shouldn’t demand you make it right away. Vivi’s brain let them rest!

Lol I'll have to get to you on that one

Oh i know my old friends use to ask how I always seem to keep money. I had to gently explain to them that they don't have to buy everything they see. I was not the favorite that day 👀

All of those I've heard of but never been into the fandom. It's hard for me to get into shows. I really want to cause it'd what everyone is into, but it's hard for me to watch it. My mind wanders and I do other things completely ignoring the show. Don't get me wrong I have shows, but not a lot.

That being said I wouldn't hearing about them! I don't mind spoilers if you don't mind questions. Who knows maybe talking about it with you will make me watch it! Also from what I understand it's like wish and I don't trust clothing that come from wish.

Honestly If it a gets really bad I'm getting a tutor I'm determined to pass and get my degree. Won't lie it scares me a bit but I'll do what I need to. Since it was on semester it was basics such as meditating, Journaling (that one had helped a lot by the way) and finding the little joys. If you point out something positive at the end of the day it helps you see the day as good rather focusing on the negative.

Honestly, that depends on my mood when I'm driving. But I can give you some of the songs that hyper fixated on lately!

Honestly, I think it is just because I have never been able to hide away till recently so anything I listened to everyone heard. The only downside to it is now I have big loud speaker in my house that my neighbors hear on the daily. It hasn't been a complaint yet (cause I usually play it during the day and turn of off the closer to dark it gets) but waiting. The only playlist I keep to myself if my "when the clouds come" type of playlist if you get what I mean.

The people who want your attention the whole time they are there make me upset. I just don't understand where that entitlement comes from. They get upset when people mess up their work day so why do it to others?? Ugh

I know 😭 thank you for worrying about me 🥺🥺💕💕

#vivi talks #galaxy anon

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suguwu · 2 years

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i'm gonna cry!! I'll do my best!!! the numbers may get mixed up but i'll do my best!!! as long as i pass this class and get through the semester we're gucci

i mean you're still a queen Bee!! worldbuilding econ is still econ asdjl;gf it is interesting!! it's just when there's math and letters in one sentence my brain is like?? ??

doing your best is what matters the most! you’re gonna pass AND get thru the semester i know it!!!

ksnxjskx i still maintain it’s wrong econ half the time with me but it’s fun and just rip to econ majors who read my fics where it features (i’m so sorry) and yeah same the math + words thing is not my forte lmao

i hope you’re having a good day 💞

#🪴.ask #burnishedcrown #look ma a kind of timely answer skxnsj

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jakesimfromstatefarm · 3 years

Text

notoriously yours | jay park

✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.

so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?

and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?

✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au

✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)

✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)

✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333

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Jay Park is a rich kid.

Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).

Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.

Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.

Well, his friends beg to differ.

In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.

So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)

Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.

Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.

They're doing anything but studying.

In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.

"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.

"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.

"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.

Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.

Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.

"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."

"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.

Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.

"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.

Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."

Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.

"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."

"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.

"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.

One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.

"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.

Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.

Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.

"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.

"What kind of bet are we talking here?"

Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.

Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.

"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."

Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.

"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.

Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.

And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.

Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.

"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.

Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.

Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".

Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.

He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.

Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.

He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.

Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.

He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.

Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.

Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).

But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?

The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.

But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.

That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?

And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.

At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.

Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.

He might as well pay someone to date him.

There's no harm in that, is there?

He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.

He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.

And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.

Simple as that.

Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.

And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.

You love your friends, you do.

Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.

But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.

But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.

"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."

You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.

You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.

You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.

You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.

Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.

So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.

And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.

For the most part.

Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.

"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.

"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.

Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.

She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."

You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.

Been there, done that.

College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.

Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.

Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.

It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.

Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.

Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.

Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.

You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:

"Fake date me."

You blink up at him.

Yeah, definitely not expected.

But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.

"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.

You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.

And he's smiling right at you.

Curse him and his smile.

But no, you're not giving into it.

Not yet, at least.

"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.

"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.

"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.

In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."

Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"

This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.

"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.

You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!

The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.

"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.

"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"

"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."

"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"

"--desperate? Yeah."

"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"

"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.

"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.

"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways––Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.

Jay hates that you're right.

You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.

You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.

Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.

"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."

Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.

Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.

Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.

"Wait, Y/N!"

You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.

He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."

You nearly stop breathing.

Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.

And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.

The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.

Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.

Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.

But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.

First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.

Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).

Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.

All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).

And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.

"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.

The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.

You sigh, then nod.

"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."

The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.

You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.

Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.

Great.

You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.

"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?

"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."

Bingo.

"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.

But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.

Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.

"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.

"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"

Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."

"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.

Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.

Cute.

"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.

You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!

"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.

"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.

How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.

"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."

"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."

Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.

"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."

You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.

"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.

"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."

If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.

"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.

Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."

Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.

"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."

It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.

You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.

Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.

"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.

"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.

"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.

And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.

As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.

And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.

The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.

The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.

And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.

"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.

The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:

~ ~ ~

"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.

"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.

You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.

You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."

He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."

"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.

Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."

"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.

"3,2,1."

"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.

"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.

"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.

"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.

"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.

"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.

"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.

"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.

When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.

Obviously.

~ ~ ~

"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)

What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.

"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.

Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."

Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."

Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.

He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.

"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."

Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."

Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.

Jake suddenly gasps in realization.

"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.

Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:

"Jay, are you in? It's me!"

Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.

But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--

"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.

Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.

"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.

"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.

Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.

"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."

"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.

Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.

Weird.

"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.

Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"

"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.

"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"

"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."

Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.

Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.

"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.

"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.

Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."

Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.

"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.

"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.

"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:

~ ~ ~

You're late.

This never happens.

But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.

You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.

Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.

You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.

"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.

"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.

"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.

"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.

Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.

Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.

The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.

"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.

Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.

Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.

"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.

"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.

And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.

Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.

You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.

"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.

If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.

Weird.

"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.

Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"

You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.

He wonders why.

When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).

Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.

"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.

Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."

You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.

"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.

"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.

"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.

The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.

"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.

You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.

"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."

You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.

You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.

"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.

His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.

"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.

"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.

Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.

The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.

"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.

"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.

You stare back at him in silence. Oh.

Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:

"Huh?"

Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?

You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.

"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.

Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.

You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.

"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.

"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.

Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.

As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."

Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.

"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.

"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.

"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.

"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.

"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.

You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"

"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.

You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.

Your heart beats faster at the view.

You wonder why.

It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.

You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.

It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).

It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.

Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N

Jay [3:09AM]: hi

Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn

Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so

Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up

Jay [3:11AM]: come outside

Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am

Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew

Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice

Jay [3:15AM]: :)

You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.

You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?

(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)

And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.

The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.

"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.

The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.

But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.

"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."

"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.

A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?

"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.

"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.

"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."

Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"

You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."

Oh. Awkward.

You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.

"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.

"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.

You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.

You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.

"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.

"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.

You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.

"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"

You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.

But you knew where he was coming from.

You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.

"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.

He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.

You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."

Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.

Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.

Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.

"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."

His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.

The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.

Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.

You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.

But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.

You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.

"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.

"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.

Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.

That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.

That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.

When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.

Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.

Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.

In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.

"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.

"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.

Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."

There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.

"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.

The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.

"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.

"Huh? Calling what off?"

"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."

But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.

Something he's scared he's already lost.

You.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.

Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.

Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.

Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.

And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.

"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.

"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.

Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:

"He called it off. It's over. The bet."

"Oh."

Silence.

Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.

"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."

Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?

Fuck it.

"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.

You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.

"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"

"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."

Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?

"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.

"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.

Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."

"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.

Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."

"Mm, and what's that?"

And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.

His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.

The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.

You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.

Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.

Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.

Jay drives you to class that day.

And everyday after that.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3

4K notes · View notes

cupidsintern · 3 years

Text

shot thru the heart, pt 2

pt 1 here!

Steve shoves Billy's perfect handwriting homework in his binder with his own shitty notes and thinks immediately that it doesn't belong there. Too good. Too Perfect. Too pretty. Like the tails on Billy’s lowercase Gs and Ys- pretty. He thinks of that the whole time he’s copying free responses and trying to change the wording just enough so it sounds different- he just dumbs it down, has to guess at what a couple words mean, Billy writes all intellectual-

But actually Steve sort of feels like he learns something. Sort of feels like he gets it a little better in just the way Billy describes it back to himself. And Billy only did this to be helpful- the extended “I’m really actually sorry” of making sure someone passes at least one of their fucking classes. Steve wonders briefly if Billy would ever like, tutor him or something. Then he shoves that thought right the fuck back where it came from because the pit of what he’s sure is jealousy in his stomach fucking writhes or some shit when he thinks about being around Billy that much. Even just looking at his handwriting…

Steve takes an extra long, extra think-y shower after he finishes his homework.

Steve hands Billy’s work back in the hallway just outside their shared second period. He even waits by the door, a solid two minutes before the bell, leaning against a row of lockers trying not to look at the stupid depression-inducing decor. He’s not-thinking about it so hard that he doesn't notice Billy until he’s right there, close-

“Aw, you waited for me?” Billy says, mock-sweet, taking his work back out of Steve's hands.

Steve recovers from his surprise faster. “You wish.”

“Don’t I ever.” Billy’s already walking into class, sorta mumbles that last part. Steve follows him in.

And they don’t talk for the rest of class- there’s no homework. But Steve can feel like he can sense Billy's presence more again, now. Like before, but somehow worse...

Jealousy is a bitch.

Steve does get the last last homework he turned in back, though. This one also copied from Billy, and-

B-. improving! Is written at the top of the page. Great, Steve’s improving. Just in time for fucking spring semester of his senior year. And the improvement isn't even his it’s-

The bell rings. Billy’s up and out of his desk so fast his backpack clips the edge of the adjacent desk as he slings it ever so casually over his left shoulder. Everytime, he's so fast. Like he can’t be in any one place too long- like a shark.

That's a thing right? Steve thinks. Sharks. They have to keep swimming or they like, die or something.

Steve realizes he’s just been staring at the door Billy walked out of several moments ago and he blinks. Shakes his head a little, he’s spacing out too much.

Then he looks down.

A sheet of note paper lays face up on the floor next to him. W Hargrove in its top right corner- more notes.

Steve grabs the sheet of paper off the floor and shoves it into his backpack, before he even really has time to think about what he’s doing, why he’s doing it- burning hot something in the deepest pit of his stomach it’s jealousy it has to be- before getting up and walking out of class.

So why did Steve take Billy’s notes? Why, to give them back of course.

Billy probably needs it back, this half finished sheet of chemistry bullshit from- jesus from October?

Okay, well if Billy doesn't need it back, maybe Steve can just. Keep it. Keep it and stare at it and hate every single one of those perfectly lined up conversion equations that he remembers not understanding at all. Billy must be in honors classes, too, because some of it Steve doesn't remember. He spends way too much time looking at it when he gets home, sits down at his desk, ignores every fucking thing else in his backpack and pulls just the sheet out.

W Hargrove

10/20/84

The W is so even. It makes Steve’s blood boil. And all the slashes are perfectly parallel- Steve traces his finger under the numbers. He sets his hand on the paper, as if he were holding a phantom pencil, thinks how a past version of Billy traced his hand over this paper just the same way when he took these notes. Steve wasn't sure if he could remember Billy being a lefty or a righty, but he was so smart…

Steve took his hand off the paper suddenly, like it had burned him. Something… didn't sit right.

He folded the paper in half once and slid it back into his binder- more carefully than before- and switching to attempting to finish his homework.

Billy was a lefty. But technically he was a. Am. Ambiv- nope. The thing! Where you can switch hands. It’s- Ambidextrous? Yes. That.

Steve congratulated himself a little for remembering the word, then went back to completely spacing out thinking he could hear the sound of Billy's pencil scratching across his notebook behind Steve in class.

He did not pay attention at all, the whole day, the warm red feeling making his skin tingle and his feet itch like he had to walk somewhere. He got up to use the bathroom twice in the same class period, which the teacher wasn't too happy about, but whatever. Fuck her. She didn't have to sit in front of Billy and look at his perfect notes every time he found himself looking over his shoulder to check the time.

“What’s got you tweaking?” Billy’s voice snaps Steve out of his trance.

“What?” Steve looks over his shoulder again, this time directly at Billy, who's looking directly back at him, which makes him feel like his brain got left out in the sun.

“Tah-week-ing.” Billy says again, slower like he’s letting Steve catch up, stupid Californian drawl.

“Oh just. Uh. Just nervous.”

“Test isn’t for another two weeks, pretty boy.”

The warm feeling is back in full force, Steve thinks it must be because of how calm and collected Billy sounds, like he couldn't care less about the test. “Not all of us can be geniuses, okay?”

Billy laughs a little- it’s pretty, softer. Steve hates it. “Bold words from someone copying my homework.”

Steve frowns a little, he can’t help it, makes to turn back around but Billy catches his shoulder-

“Hey,” Billy starts, hesitates like he’s thinking about something

Warm turns to hot, Steve’s sweating and he’s only in a windbreaker.

“If you need like. Serious help with classwork, you could always borrow my notes.”

Steve blinks. It’s a lot nicer of an offer than just letting someone copy off you. A lot nicer than Billy usually is to him. Less of an apology, more of, like, an invitation.

Is Billy trying to be his friend?

“I,” Steve starts “Might take you up on that-”

The teacher shushes both of them. Steve turns back to sitting, facing the front.

God, is he jealous of Billy being able to be nice?

-> pt 3

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove fanfic #steve x billy #billy x steve #my fic

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sharkinlovewithadolphin · 3 years

Text

Tag game

Tagged by @died-by-the-scimitar thank you!! :D 1. what is the color of your hairbrush? shaft is made of bamboo wood, the brushes themselves are black

2. name a food you never eat: uhhhh idk, I’m quite picky, especially with the texture of food, so if the texture is gross and it’s too big to not chew in, i will usually try to avoid eating it.

3. what were you doing 45 mins ago? watching an old try guys video

4. what’s your favorite candy bar? I don’t really have any

5. have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes, a football game when I was 9, and I hated every second of it lol. I really want to go watch a handball game, though.

6. what is the last thing you said out loud? “Nå” (means like.. “well then” ish)

7. what is your favorite ice cream? chocolate, vanilla, caramel

8. what was the last thing you had to drink? water

9. do you like your wallet? no

10. what is the last thing you ate? An ice cream

11. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? no

12. what’s the last sporting event you watched? I mean my mom watches the eurogames in football right now, so every now and then I watch like 1 or 2 minutes when I pass the living room, but the last game i sat down and actually watched was men’s handball earlier this year.

13. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? just... salty? lol

14. who is the last person you sent a text message to? a friend a few hours ago, telling her i would start charging her after she wrote that she lived rent free in my head

15. ever been camping? nope. I think I want to try it though

16. do you take vitamins? no, but I should (especially d-vitamins, considering how low my numbers have been since.. always), I got them lying around and everything but I sort of just don’t take them

17. do you regularly attend a place of worship? no

18. do you have a tan? nope

19. do you prefer Chinese or pizza? it really depends on my mood honestly, either is usually neat

20. do you drink your soda through a straw? no, i don’t drink soda and i don’t use straws

21. what color socks do you usually wear? black or white, but i also have some pastel colored and fruit motive ones

22. do you ever drive above the speed limit? not intentionally lol, but i do catch myself accidently driving a little too fast (usually never more than 5-15 km/h above, and i always slow down once i notice).

23. what terrifies you? life. failure. the future. death of my dog. being stuck unable to reach goals

24. look to your left, what do you see? The side of my closet that’s covered in fandom and art postcards from redbubble

25. what chore do you hate most? dishes, changing the sheets, cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash

26. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? g’day mate + harurinralia

27. what’s your favorite soda? i don’t drink sodas anymore, but if i should it’s usually a wannabe cola or something citrus fruity ish

28. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? I don’t go to fast food places, but if i did i would go in

29. what’s your favorite number? 4

30. who’s the last person you talked to? my mom

31. favorite cut of beef? i don’t eat beef often, and i’m not sure what this even means lol

32. last song you listened to? Lewis Capaldi - Don’t Get Me Wrong

33. last book you read? Reading tipping the velvet right now, last book I finished was Romeo and Juliet I think

34. favorite day of the week? Also saturday

35. can you say the alphabet backwards? no

36. how do you like your coffee? I don’t like coffee, the smell on its own is.. nope

37. favorite pair of shoes? Don’t have a favorite. I used to love my black converses, but my feet are more happy with my current sketchers.

38. time you normally get up? usually never before 7 (after school turned virtual for most of my last semester and i also stopped having morning shifts at work), and lately not before 9

39. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? i love both, but i think i prefer sunsets, just ‘cause they’re easier to catch and (as you said, Fra) more colorful in terms of purple and pink etc.

40. how many blankets on your bed? one and my duvet, but I have 2 blankets across my bedframe since its made of metal and my bed is up against the always-cold wall towards our apartment stairs.

41. describe your kitchen very typical early 2000s danish style, hasn’t been updated in 20 years (except for my mom painting the walls a pastel pink), but not like in an outdated-ugly way i think

42. describe your kitchen at the moment. some papers on the table, bread (packaged), and my mom’s figures and stones collecting dust

43. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? I don’t drink alcohol either eeeeyh

44. do you play cards? no, but I used to love it when I was a kid, mainly go fish

45. what color is your car? I don’t have one, but my mom’s is silver

46. can you change a tire? I’ve never tried it, but I think I got the idea and might be able to should I ever need to. My mom’s husband usually changes them on her car.

47. your favorite state? I’m not american, never set foot near america, BUT i think i like alaska, west virginia, and such, just for the environment (as seen through pictures)

48. favorite job you’ve had? I quite liked cleaning at private homes (of people I knew), which I’ve done a few times before. I work at a store right now (and have been for 3 years), though that is far from something I want to continue, to put it lightly. I got a job as a mentor (helping kids with homework and such), but I’ve yet to get any mentees, so I still can’t quite say much about it :/ Tagging: @hamykia @dandelionmeadow @nenufair @pilarsalazr @spacewitchqueen @happensweet @scimitar-and-longsword @ladyzeia @nicolosfaith

#about me #long post #tag game

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cloveroctobers · 3 years

Text

• ROHAN WASTI•

IG info/bio: @/niceguyroasti | 175k followers | Just here for a bit of fun 🤹🏽‍♂️! They don’t call me the brown handstand king for nuthin, mate 🎪🤸🏽‍♂️

(23) 25 (26) years old

From Wolverhampton, England

Before you ask...no he’s never met Liam Payne but Rohan’s sure he’s a great lad. (He was asked this question in one of his lives, he secretly thinks it was talia from one of her secret burner stan accounts lol) He’s got a nice tune with a boogie w da hoodie that he likes??

Anyways...he’s of Pakistani heritage

His mother used to work for a printing press company until she along with 15 other employees were laid off back in Sargodha

She was out of work for months becoming a stay at home mom (which his father initially wanted)

While his father continued in ironwork

They uprooted their family to the uk two years later after Rohan’s father also got laid off

Rohan was about 7 years old when they moved to Wolverhampton

he picked up on the English language faster than his parents

Always a quick learner

He has two younger brothers

Who are really his cousins/friends of the family that his parents brought home from Pakistan after their parents passed in a tragic accident

he was eleven years old when he met them at the airport and was super excited to have sibs! & even encouraged his mom to let him buy them something they would like sort of like a ice breaker which they seemed to appreciate 😭

His parents wanted him to major in software engineering or any form of engineering really but that quickly became a “hell no” vs “hell yeah” after those courses started to rot his brain?

So what does he do? He decides he’s gonna major in psychology instead!

That seems more of his speed? Kinda? As long as he’s not dealing with that hardware shit then that’s cool with him tbh

Psych held more of his interest since he doesn’t have a issue with the whole science aspect tied into it but it’s deff lengthy and can be draining sometimes too

He doesn’t psychoanalyze everything like our girl marisol does

marisol will be like “hmm...you’re distributing narcissistic behavior based on your superego more than your ego ya know?”

but Rohan will either think it or think nothing of it and just continue to go with the flow lol. He’s that kinda guy

Why was he majoring in this in the first place? Just to say he had the degree in something maybe?

He’s 50/50 thinking he’ll just get the degree he’s halfway there but he really wants to be part of the circus

And now has circus themed tatts that he’s proud of thank u

Always had the obsession with all that comes with the circus, he had his paternal grandfather to thank for that

His grandfather used to juggle along with other forms of entertainment but mostly juggling on the street back in Pakistan to earn $ since there were a lack of jobs

The atmosphere there also was what got him into doing handstands cause why tf not

You can absolutely guess that the acrobats, trapeze acts, and tightrope entertainers are his favorites to watch

His parents just assumed it was a hobby of his and never took him serious even tho he openly said growing up that’s something he would like to do in life

He now understands the purpose of “freak shows” even tho he can honestly say those parts of the circus used to terrify him until he learned that not everyone is the same and there should be no shame in that

He will train on the side until he finishes his degree to make his parents happy but he knows he truly belongs in the circus and that’s where he will be someday whether his parents approve or not— after all this is his life

Lives on campus and is currently looking for a flat off campus to share with a roommate or two (he thought about asking jake & Tim but decided against it FOR NOW)

Mostly had temporary and odd jobs to get by each semester, has not had a steady job due to fully being a full-time student

He’s tried to be a full time student and full time employee (working as a package delivery man) just to burn himself out and never attempted to be a part time employee. It was not something he could handle sorry

His mother spoils him...he’s a bit of a mama’s boy

When it comes to relationships, it never seems to be what he thinks it is? One moment things are going great then the next he’s in the friend zone so he’s never quite sure where he stands with his significant others?

Which is why he thinks it’s safe to always start off in the friend zone or unintentionally puts those who have interest in him in the friend zone because that’s what’s comfortable to him

however if he’s really into you & you’re showing that you’re into him but it’s causal dating or whatever u want to call it? & you up and decide to pick the other over him catching him off guard he’s gonna be in his feelings about it 100% ex.) how he picked erikah over mc the 2nd time around and felt some type of way when erikah hopped on reeses dck

he wants communication even if it’s hard

and he wants someone to love unconditionally and for them to love him back

Definitely likes to sweep his loves off their feet

Especially when he’s kissing! The whole dipping you while you kiss, hand on the small of your back, or hands gripping your waist while he’s pressed up against you. Probably likes to bend you over things or have you pressed up against objects as well—Sign me tf up

I feel like he’s always warm and his hands are surprisingly soft with how many handstands he does in a damn day

He purchases hand moisturizing gloves

can always hold his own weight

enjoys core exercises

Will carry you on his back or his shoulders if you need to see better at festivals/concerts

He’s sexually fluid

It’s canon/hinted that something went on between him & jake when mc walked in that we missed by a few seconds or even a minute but I do think he’s attracted/was to jake and it’s canon that jake is bi bby

Plus he got excited when mc suggested that he’d date jake if jake doesn’t find someone in the villa so BOOM 🤗

Always active as a kid trying to do flips and shit likes he’s doing parkour much like Bobby ending up with bruises, scrapes, and surprisingly no broken bones? Well maybe scratch that last bit out...He did crack his head open a little bit once giving his mother a heart attack but his mother doesn’t dare speak of it — haram!

Loves his sleeveless shirts and silver thick chains

Keeps a five o’clock shadow + might grow a little stubble here and there, feels like it’s part of his signature look

Won’t grow a full beard due to the racism/prejudice he witnessed his father, grandfather, uncles, and cousins go thru!

Will spend coin on some aftershave, none of that cheap shit when it comes to that! Sorry he takes pride in his facial area

probably went thru a mild case of cystic acne when puberty hit & had some insecure moments when it comes to his appearance & still has moments where it’ll hit even tho he beat it thanks to some remedies but tries his best not to let it get to him

He knows how to manage his $ but can splurge every now and then but will never showcase what he has — that’s v corny to him to be overly flashy. He’s looking at y’all @/leggy @/jasper/@/miles

Doesn’t take high quality photos of himself, it’s always zoomed in or extra zoomed in photos—yup he’s got that type of feed

Regrets putting mc in the friend zone & wishes he put more effort in making things work with erikah

But slowly learned to be happy that she’s with Reese even if he wasn’t at first. He really thought there could have been something for him & erikah

he secretly thinks their “relationship” is superficial & based off of shallowness and lust. What else do they have? Nothing that he could have given her but what’s the point in being bitter over this?

Reese is a shit stirrer that thinks he can get anything he wants because of the way he looks & if he knows outside info that he can use again you, he WILL

& erikah? He doesn’t know where her head is at majority of the time. She likes to throw rocks then acts like she didn’t mean to do it but why do it in the first place if you didn’t mean to? + she seems to lose interest fast if they don’t fit her standards besides their physical appearance...yeah Rohan caught all of that

So did she even genuinely like him or want to besides what he brought to the table physically? Who knows

He just thinks people deserve their chance at happiness and he possibly could have had it if he wasn’t standing in his own way...and he absolutely won’t stand in anyone else’s way if they don’t see potential happiness with him

He’s cool with cherry but deep down he knew there wouldn’t be anything long term between him & her after some time. She’s a beautiful/hot girl but she wasn’t his type + he didn’t like how she portrayed herself in the villa even tho she claims there was more than what meets the eye when it comes to her

she proved that to him which she didn’t HAVE to!!! outside of the house and they actually remained friends unlike the now growing distance he has with erikah

I cannoned that him and Hannah give it a go. I think they’d be cute together? She told him from the moment they met at a festival that they were now dating after they ended up holding hands but he didn’t take her seriously since she was a little drunk?

She messaged him two days later asking him when they were going on their date and that was enough for him to give it a go

They only lasted for a couple of months since they outgrew each other slowly but surely. ‘Not all things are temporary,’ he had to remind himself

It was no bad blood thankfully and they continued to be friends with him wishing her well on her new relationship with Carl. He was genuinely happy for her as he always was for his friends

Cannot cook for shit but makes the best coffee with cinnamon & cardamom

once tried to make Aloo Chaat but with a twist! With the use of Potato Skins instead! for a family dinner party and his mum almost sent him home due to the insults his father spewed at rohan trying to fool them all that it was his wife who prepared such a thing

It is evident that his father only enjoys his wife’s cooking

he still makes it for himself when he’s starving despite what his father thinks

Is fluent in Urdu, English came second

Never ashamed of his culture although his father thinks he is...

His fav shows are misfits + the IT crowd and he is currently watching & enjoying truth seekers + mr. selfridge since Tim recommended it to him ofc

his fav American show is the challenge

when asked what his fav American movie is, he got dragged since ppl assumed it would be the greatest showman but he can’t take all the singing...musicals aren’t his thing sorry

But he’ll bust out a rap only if Tim & jake are around, he rarely does it alone

Even looked into producing music for fun but never took THAT seriously

closest with jake & Tim, doesn’t have much of a relationship with the other lads 🤷🏽‍♀️ but there’s no real beef with anyone he knows how to let shit go

But you’ll never catch him having a chat with Reese or following him back on ig. What they had to say to each other was already said and done so?

If erikah agrees to get engaged to Reese, he’s happy for her but cordial to him

if she doesn’t end up with Reese, he’ll be her shoulder to lean on if she needs it

his love language is physical touch with a splash of acts of service

Commonly sleeps curled up, his mum says he was like that in the womb as well—(same dude)

He’s probably a good 5’9 - 5’7 on bad days

Is he a Pisces? Idk

His signature cologne is probably Antaeus by Chanel which is described to have notes of: lemon, lime, coriander and sage w. A blend of thyme, basil and rose

Loves black pepper, specifically garlic, onion, black pepper, and sea salt all mixed together

has a vitiligo spot on the right side of his lower spine that is commonly covered with the waistband of whatever bottoms he has on

has a pogo stick

Wants to go skydiving next, has gone bungee jumping—which was such a adrenaline rush!!!

probably knows a few tips on how to survive in the wild or if the apocalypse hits...you can never be too sure

If he ever gets a pet he might get something like: Satanic Leaf tailed Gecko, Kinkajou, or a Pac-Man frog. He likes being different okay

he actually enjoyed season 3 despite the negative remarks made about it. It was “different” basically drama free which was a shocker knowing how production likes to take things take a shot every time ro explains his decisions/opinions as such lol

BUT he won’t go as far to say he liked it better than his season yet he did enjoy keeping up with it. He def has a crush on iona, aj, vieve, Camilo & tai

Yasmin actually joined one of his lives, which he doesn’t do too often but he couldn’t sleep one night and thought he’d give it a go. She’s quite nice & quiet but he ultimately felt calm around her + they bonded over bohemian lifestyle & his love for the circus + a little about their cultures

Long term goals? He doesn’t have a set timeline of when he wants everything to happen because pressure is not fun

but he wants to be in love and loved back, wants to be married, wants to have kids, wants to try out the circus for awhile and if that doesn’t work out he can always fall back on his psych degree—he just wants to be happy and share that with someone, that’s one of the biggest adventures he can possibly have

His anthem = Blxst, “No Love Lost”

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wantaichi · 4 years

Text

proxy

semi eita x reader

anon request: yo so the the semi drabble i- could we get more for that ?

a/n: some angst and mature themes. might have veered off the original work juuust a bit, but the idea remains! (see: drabble)

. It’s hard to miss it — the hint of sentimentality in the way you looked at him.

Semi didn’t expect you to frequent these parties, spare him a glance and approach him no less. So it flummoxed him when you did, but not so much when it turned out you’d only mistaken him for someone else.

It’s how he finds out that, despite being in the same evening class, you knew him neither by name nor by face. He’s not surprised by this, not when you’re always seated near the back door and constantly slipping in and out of class to god knows where.

“Sorry! Thought you were someone I knew.”

He’s not used to seeing you outside your usual ensemble of leggings and oversized hoodies. But you don’t look half bad tonight, all embellished from head to toe, unwittingly turning heads left and right.

Maybe he’ll take his chances.

“Let me get you a drink so we can work on the knowing part.”

You study him carefully before allowing yourself a smile. “Sure.” + You take him back to your dorm that night.

Laying on the couch with his head resting on your chest, you confide in him about your unrequited feelings for someone. How you’ve been mindlessly chasing them for years, only to see another person make them smile the way you couldn’t.

And in spite of your shame, you admit a twisted part of you would’ve been content experiencing their touch at least once before moving on. Semi finds himself all ears as he digests all this, not too proud of the thoughts brewing in his head.

“He’s the same guy I mistook you for earlier.” You reach out to muss up his hair, a nostalgic smile crossing your face. “Same gray hair and chiseled features and sort of scary eyes.”

“Scary?” At this, you let out a chuckle, soft and tooth-rottingly sweet, and Semi can’t hold back the curve forming on the corners of his lips. He lets his hands meander over your hips, the mere feel of them enough to drug and muddle his thoughts.

“I figured that much,” he says, then pauses to consider his next words carefully. “But if you need help getting it out of your system, just know I’m down for it.” For a while, only a passive look comes as your response.

“That would be unfair for you.”

“Not if I’m willing.”

“Even if I imagine you as someone else?”

He lifts his head and starts nipping at your neck. “Yeah.”

“You’re just horny.”

“Maybe.” + You start sitting beside him in class, and Semi learns that you’re an observer.

You can be smart when you feel like it, like when others’ opinions come out too strong during recitation, and you whisper to him the tiniest flaws in their logic that everyone else is too preoccupied to notice.

But most of the time your observations were outright, crackhead-level stupid, and he wants to bawl and curse you and ask where the fuck you get the brain cells to make a resemblance between the professor’s wrinkles and the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter?

You’ll get him sent out of class one of these days—he’s sure of it—and he’ll pin the blame on you for charming him more than he can handle. + You learn that he has an ear for music.

That he had a habit of carving songs into his head, from the notes down to the rhythm, playing it over and over until assembling the tune came as easy breaking it apart.

He does the same with you.

Rouse your moans to the pitch of his liking, only to hear them shatter in fragments of breathlessness when you reach your orgasm. It’s euphoric, and he found himself hooked the first time he hears it, sought it out the same way he would a song he hears on the radio for the first time.

So he came back every night.

Every week.

Again—

—and again because it’s never enough just replaying everything in his head anymore.

You sound your best right now (though he says this every time), when your gasps harmonize with his. With the erotic subtones of bed creaking and sharp skin slapping, only amplified when he presses you flat into the mattress with his crushing weight.

He shuts his eyes and soaks up every sound in the room—even the occasional whispers of a certain name that comes out of your lips soft and sweet, yet enters his ears harsh and piercing.

He considers getting his ears checked for signs of internal bleeding. + “That’s fucked up.”

Semi only takes a long swig from his bottle, not bothering to respond. Why was he even talking about this with Tendou of all people?

“So you’re filling in for someone she can’t have?” The readhead might as well have punctured him in the gut while he’s at it.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s just a hook up.”

Silence passes them for a while. His words make their way to his lungs, clogging it up to uncomfortable extremities.

“I hear there’s this new degree the admins came up with. It’s called BS-Clownery. You’d fit in swimmingly.”

The succeeding drinks were put on Tendou’s tab that night. + Maybe he is a clown after all.

Otherwise, there wouldn’t be any of this bitter attachment towards you, freely using him to satisfy unrequited feelings. And yet, the mounting pain feels so good it washes over him in waves that he wishes would never pass.

Semi didn’t want this pass.

Maybe it’s why he’s still here, hanging at your place on the last week of the semester, watching you hover over the boxes of pizza with surprise and craving leaking from your face.

“What are we celebrating?”

“Surviving the semester. Never getting sent out of class despite multiple warnings. You passing.”

You allow yourself a proud smile.

“You mean us passing.”

“Yeah, but you almost didn’t.” No thanks to your poor attendance. You laugh in understanding before he continues counting all the other small causes for celebration off his fingers.

Being a step closer to graduation. Regaining a normal sleep cycle. Summer break, finally. Life in general.

Meeting you. + He appreciates your abstract ramblings.

You once told him that the closest people can get to experiencing eternity was to lay awake and bask in the darkness. In the softness, the quiet, and the sense of rest one can only get in the dead of night.

It’s past two am and Semi wants to ask you if eternity felt like being six feet deep and six feet off the ground at the same time.

But you’re asleep, nuzzled into the crook of his neck with your arms sprawled across his chest like no one else can have him but you. He likes that thought, and he likes how the feel of your lashes on his skin and the steady rise and fall of your chest are enough to calm him, dispel the tussle of conflicting thoughts in his head.

He slowly grazes his fingers on the hollow of your back, as slow as this moment seemed to pass, as if caught in a standstill. Semi understands—this is what you meant.

His consciousness must have been starting to ebb away because, just as sleep was about to take him, he thinks he hears you mumble something in your sleep.

“...Eita..”

He wraps both arms around you, sure that he’d heard that correctly. ——

a/n: liked this work? leave a note or send in your thoughts thru my ask box!

#semi eita x reader #semi eita #hq semi #haikyuu!!#hq #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq fanfic #hq x reader #tendou satori #hq tendou #haikyuu angst #hq angst #semi eita fic #shiratorizawa fanweek 2020 #shiratorizawafanweek2020

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kimjoongs · 4 years

Text

—ateez college au series [psh]

so seonghwa is a nursing major bc why not and no this isnt bc im also a nursing major or maybe it is idk shh

he wanted to become a nurse bc his mom was one, and he saw how much she adored her job

plus seonghwa is a self-less and caring person, so this was the perfect choice for him

he lives in an apartment on campus with his roommate hongjoong and it’s both a blessing and a curse

it was a blessing because his and hongjoong’s personalities matched very well, so they rarely had arguments

but it was also a curse bc joong was a music production major so he’d be producing music in his room, which normally wasn’t a problem, but on nights where seonghwa was studying for his exams, hongjoong would be in the room next door blasting music

usually all seonghwa had to do was knock on his door and ask him to keep it down, but there were nights where he would just pack up his stuff and study at the campus library instead

he often stayed for about 3-4 hours or more if he had an exam the next day

hwa really liked anatomy and phys but absolutely despised chemistry

“what the hell is the difference between polar and nonpolar? wait, why does this lewis structure only have 2 bonds? shouldn’t it have 3? ah shit i forgot an electron–”

sometimes hongjoong would come out of his room to get a glass of water only to find hwa asleep at the kitchen table with a copy of the periodic table on his head

he loves getting to wear his scrubs on lab day bc 1) scrubs are super comfortable and 2) it gets him excited thinking about the future

he also started volunteering at the nursing college in the labs

he’d help the lab ops set up the labs, refill the fluids, repack the medication, or clean up the simulation rooms

this also gave him the opportunity to get to know his future professors, and he would never admit it, but whilst he was volunteering, he would admire the older nursing students wearing the official university scrubs

it made him that much more determined to get into nursing school

during his first semester his second year, he had less of a workload compared to his first year, so he had more free time and was able to go out more

one day hongjoong asked seonghwa if he wanted to hang out with a few of his friends, and he said yes

so the two of them went out to this nearby boba cafe where hongjoong’s friends mingi, san, and wooyoung were waiting for him

you were there as well, tagging along as a mutual friend of san’s, and he introduced you to the two them

“hey hongjoong, seonghwa, this is my friend y/n! i hope it’s cool if they come along. i needed to drag them out of their room or else they’d be studying for hours on end,” san teased, knocking your head lightly w his fist

you stuck your tongue out at him then turned to shake hongjoong’s and seonghwa’s hands

when you made eye contact with the latter, his face lit up with recognition “oh wait, y/n? you’re in my pathophysiology class right?”

“oh yeah, i sit right behind you. nice to meet you, seonghwa!” you flashed him a smile, and he smile back

after everyone introduced themselves, you all found a table and ordered your drinks

mingi, san, and seonghwa sat on one side of the booth whilst you, wooyoung, and hongjoong sat on the other

you were quite surprised, and quite relieved, at how well you were fitting in and getting along with hongjoong and seonghwa…especially seonghwa

during the time that you all were together, seonghwa found out that you were a nursing major too and the two of you launched into a full blown discussion about it, unaware of the looks the others were giving you both

hongjoong had a faint smile on his face, mingi was chuckling and shaking his head, and san and wooyoung were giving each other knowing smirks

at the end of the night, seonghwa had asked you for your number in case yall wanted to study tgt, and you happily obliged

then you all said your farewells and went your separate ways

a few days pass and you don’t hear from seonghwa, which was quite understandable considering the fact that it was midterm season and you were both busy

but you were also kind of looking forward to study with him, he seemed really smart and self-disciplined which was exactly the type of study buddy you needed

but another couple days pass and lo and behold you receive a text from the one and only park seonghwa that reads: hey you wanna study tgt for the patho exam at the library today?

ofc you said yes and half an hr later, you found yourself at the library sitting right across from seonghwa

the two of you had your laptops, notebooks, and handouts spread all over the tables and were completely in the zone

after an hr or two of straight studying, you suggested taking a small break and that’s where the two of you got to talking abt nursing and why you both chose to major in it

“well my mom’s a nurse, and when i was younger she would always talk about how much she loved her job. she’s super hardworking and cares about her patients, and that’s how i want to be someday. plus as a nurse, if i could just make someone’s day just a little bit better, then that’s all that matters to me.”

needless to say, you were captivated by the raw passion and love seonghwa had for his future career, and you couldn’t help but admire him for it

after your short break, the two of you went back to studying, but this time yall would often make eye contact and send each other encouraging smiles

you found yourself slowly becoming more comfortable with seonghwa as the time passed by

and after that, the two you started having more and more study sessions, growing closer and closer

whenever an exam or quiz was coming up, you two would always be found studying tgt whether it was at his apartment or the library

and that’s when the hesi exam came in

the amount of time you guys spent studying for regular exams was nothing compared to the amount of time yall spent studying for the hesi

on the day of, you and hwa were practically freaking out

“oh my god y/n i’m so scared. what if i forget how to do the conversions? what if i forget everything i learned in anatomy? what if i forget basic grammar–”

“hwa shut up you’re making me nervous!”

basically yall are a wreck from the beginning of the exam all the way to the end, and once yall walk out of that testing room you almost collapse

anyways fast forward a few weeks later it’s almost the end of the semester and also around the time where you would be receiving your letter saying whether or not you were accepted into the program

it was a friday night and the entire gang was at your apartment having a movie night

you were looking thru your emails when you stumbled upon one from your university, and when you saw what the subject was you screamed, scaring the living daylights out of mingi who was sitting next you

“y/n what the hell–” “guys, guys my nursing school letter came in oh my god, oh my god!”

the entire room went silent for a millisecond before san let out a shriek and soon everyone was crowding around you

hongjoong gripped seonghwa’s shoulder “did you get yours yet?”

the latter’s eyes widened in realization and he also whipped out his phone, letting out a choked gasp when he saw the same email “mine came in too!”

at this point all of yall were freaking the hell out, and you and seonghwa somehow found each other’s hands and held them tightly tgt

“okay, okay, okay!” you reposition yourself on the couch so you were facing your fellow nursing major “on the count of three we open it at the same time, yeah?” all seonghwa did was nod

“alright, one…two…three!” everyone held their breath and it seemed like an eternity had passed…and then you and seonghwa jumped up from the couch

“i got in!” you yelled at the same time, which caused the others to belt out the loudest cheers you’ve ever heard

overwhelmed with excitement and pride, you threw yourself onto seonghwa and gave him the tightest hug, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, gently lifting you off the ground

when you guys separated, both your eyes widened at the lack of space btwn the two of you, and you immediately jumped away from each other

“um,” you cleared your throat “i’m…i’m really proud of you, hwa.” he gave you the softest of smiles, one that made your heart race even more than it was right now

“i’m proud of you too, y/n.”

aaaand fast forward again to the beginning of the next semester! you and seonghwa were officially in the clinical portion of the nursing program which meant you two were now able to wear the university’s official nursing scrubs seonghwa probably cried a little when he first tried his on

and since yall were in the program tgt, you saw each other more frequently, even more compared to the previous semester

which certainly didnt help alleviate the strong emotions you were feeling ever since the two of you shared that small, intimate moment just a couple months prior

before you didnt use to feel anything when you hung out with seonghwa, but now just thinking abt him was enough to get you all giddy and nervous at the same time

it had reached a point where you couldnt take it anymore, so you decided to seek help from the one person who knew seonghwa best: his best friend and roommate, hongjoong

when you met up with him and poured out what it was you were feeling, hongjoong sent you a fond, knowing smile “y/n…you like him. romantically, i mean.”

you gaped “i…what?”

“you, y/n, have romantic feelings for my best friend, seonghwa.”

“i..i like him? i don’t…i don’t have–” you froze upon seeing the way hongjoong raised his eyebrows at you

“i…i like…i like seonghwa,” you finally breathed out. hongjoong’s gaze softened and he chuckled “took you long enough…now if only seonghwa could stop being a coward and just ask you out already,” he mumbled the second part under his breath

not knowing what to do with the information you had just uncovered abt yourself, you thought it’d a good idea (read: it was the stupidest idea) to distance yourself from seonghwa for a bit, just long enough for you to process the thoughts racing thru your mind

you were unaware, however, of how you distancing yourself might look like from seonghwa’s pov

he’s noticed you not hanging out with him as much anymore outside of class, and during class whenever he’d try to talk to you, you’d just scurry over to the other side of the room

he started getting worried and, ironically, he went to hongjoong for advice

upon hearing what’s been going on, hongjoong sighed loudly and slammed his hands down on the counter

“okay, initially i wasn’t going to say anything because i wanted the two of you to find out on your own, but obviously that isn’t going to happen so i’m just going to say it. y/n’s avoiding you because they realized they’ve fallen head over heels in love with you and don’t know how to react. so hwa, please be a nice guy and help them figure it out if you catch my drift.”

at that, hongjoong walked out and into his room, leaving an open-mouthed seonghwa frozen in the kitchen, he was at a loss for words

he knew hongjoong knew abt his feelings for you, but he didn’t think you’d feel the same

after contemplating whether or not what he was abt to do was a good idea or not, seonghwa simply said “screw it” and dashed out the door, heading straight for your apartment

once he arrived, he knocked rapidly on your front door

you had barely opened the door when seonghwa practically slid right in

“seonghwa? what are you doing he–”

“y/n, i’m sorry for just barging in but i need to ask you something really important and i want you to be completely honest.”

you gasped softly at the way he was looking at you, it was so intense and so serious you’ve never seen him like that before

“uh, okay? what’s going on?” you asked nervously

“do you have feelings for me?”

you choked “w-what?!”

“i talked to hongjoong and asked him for advice bc you’ve been avoiding me the past few days, and he said it’s bc you like me. is that true?”

you didn’t know what to say, the familiar warm feeling in your stomach came back and you found it difficult to maintain eye contact with seonghwa

a few seconds of silence passed, and you could see seonghwa’s serious gaze slowly start to crumble and all of a sudden you panicked

“yes! y-yes…it’s true. i do have feelings for you,” your voice trailed off at the end, but you knew he heard you when he saw him stiffen up

he let out a shaky breath “how long?”

“huh?”

“how long have you liked me, y/n?” he asked more firmly

“u-um, i’m not sure? i honestly didn’t start noticing i felt like this until about two months ago when we found we got accepted. although, the more i think about it, i’ve been attracted to you since our first study session together. the way you talked so passionately about your future and how dedicated you were into making it come true made me feel something, and what you said was really inspiring to me and i just–”

your sentence was interrupted by a pair of lips connecting with your own, and it took a second for you to realize that…seonghwa was kissing you

oh my god…oh my god seonghwa was kissing you

once you finally registered what was happening, he pulled away from you, eyes wide and cheeks flushed

“oh..oh shit, y/n i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to–i should’ve asked for your permission first. i’m so so sorry!”

seonghwa tried to take a step back, but you grabbed his wrist before he could

“y-y/n?” he stared at you

you couldn’t wait anymore. not after that.

“please, do that again.”

now it was seonghwa’s turn to choke on his breath “h-huh?”

you tightened your grip on his wrist “seonghwa, this is me giving you permission. kiss me again.”

and he did

unlike the first kiss, this one was much longer and more heartfelt. you felt his arms snake around your waist, tugging you closer and closer

you could feel the way your cheeks were heating up, but at the moment you didn’t care, wanting this moment to last forever

but unfortunately, all good things must come to an end

“hey y/n, who was at the doo–holy shit!” at the sight of you and seonghwa, mingi let out the loudest screech, causing the two of you to jump away from each other

“oh fuck i forgot san and mingi were here,” you cursed under your breath. seonghwa stood next to you, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck

mingi still remained where he was in the hallway, mouth wide open in shock before he recollected himself “ohoho my god, san! text wooyoung and tell him he owes me dinner!” and with that, mingi took off running down the hall and into one of the rooms

and once again you were left alone w seonghwa

for the longest time, the two of you just stood there, refusing to speak nor look at each other

the room was so silent you could practically hear both of your hearts racing

“so uh…does this mean you and i are…?” seonghwa asked sheepishly, taking a small step towards you

you glanced up at him and couldn’t help but giggle at the hopeful look on his face

you turned towards him and flashed him the brightest grin “yeah, we are.”

the smile that appeared on seonghwa’s face at that moment was enough to take your breath away, and you had to physically restrain yourself from kissing him again

instead you opted for taking his hand in yours and entwining your fingers tgt

now that you and seonghwa were officially dating, it made studying that much more fun

when you guys started doing your clinicals, it became hard for yall to see each other, but it made your time tgt much more special when you did have time

seonghwa is a very touchy and cuddly person, so whenever there’s a short break in btwn lab or lecture, he’ll either be sitting next to you with his head on your shoulder or his arm around your shoulder and your head on his chest

the other nursing students (and sometimes the professors) would scream at how cute yall were

and bro if you thought seonghwa was your biggest motivator before you started dating, then he’s even bigger motivator now

when he quizzes you, he’ll always give you a kiss on the cheek if you answer a question correctly, or when you come back from a particularly rough shift he’ll be there to hold you and tell you that you did your best

oh yeah and to cheer you up he’ll say a bunch of anatomy jokes

“hey y/n, i aorta tell you how much i love you”

“oh god, hwa don’t even start.”

“oh c’mon, quit ovary-acting.”

“park seonghwa”

“you’re going tibia okay”

“i’m breaking up with you”

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #ateez headcanons #ateez fluff #seonghwa #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa au #seonghwa headcanons #seonghwa fluff #college au series

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