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cloveroctobers · 3 years

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• ROHAN WASTI•

IG info/bio: @/niceguyroasti | 175k followers | Just here for a bit of fun 🤹🏽‍♂️! They don’t call me the brown handstand king for nuthin, mate 🎪🤸🏽‍♂️

(23) 25 (26) years old

From Wolverhampton, England

Before you ask...no he’s never met Liam Payne but Rohan’s sure he’s a great lad. (He was asked this question in one of his lives, he secretly thinks it was talia from one of her secret burner stan accounts lol) He’s got a nice tune with a boogie w da hoodie that he likes??

Anyways...he’s of Pakistani heritage

His mother used to work for a printing press company until she along with 15 other employees were laid off back in Sargodha

She was out of work for months becoming a stay at home mom (which his father initially wanted)

While his father continued in ironwork

They uprooted their family to the uk two years later after Rohan’s father also got laid off

Rohan was about 7 years old when they moved to Wolverhampton

he picked up on the English language faster than his parents

Always a quick learner

He has two younger brothers

Who are really his cousins/friends of the family that his parents brought home from Pakistan after their parents passed in a tragic accident

he was eleven years old when he met them at the airport and was super excited to have sibs! & even encouraged his mom to let him buy them something they would like sort of like a ice breaker which they seemed to appreciate 😭

His parents wanted him to major in software engineering or any form of engineering really but that quickly became a “hell no” vs “hell yeah” after those courses started to rot his brain?

So what does he do? He decides he’s gonna major in psychology instead!

That seems more of his speed? Kinda? As long as he’s not dealing with that hardware shit then that’s cool with him tbh

Psych held more of his interest since he doesn’t have a issue with the whole science aspect tied into it but it’s deff lengthy and can be draining sometimes too

He doesn’t psychoanalyze everything like our girl marisol does

marisol will be like “hmm...you’re distributing narcissistic behavior based on your superego more than your ego ya know?”

but Rohan will either think it or think nothing of it and just continue to go with the flow lol. He’s that kinda guy

Why was he majoring in this in the first place? Just to say he had the degree in something maybe?

He’s 50/50 thinking he’ll just get the degree he’s halfway there but he really wants to be part of the circus

And now has circus themed tatts that he’s proud of thank u

Always had the obsession with all that comes with the circus, he had his paternal grandfather to thank for that

His grandfather used to juggle along with other forms of entertainment but mostly juggling on the street back in Pakistan to earn $ since there were a lack of jobs

The atmosphere there also was what got him into doing handstands cause why tf not

You can absolutely guess that the acrobats, trapeze acts, and tightrope entertainers are his favorites to watch

His parents just assumed it was a hobby of his and never took him serious even tho he openly said growing up that’s something he would like to do in life

He now understands the purpose of “freak shows” even tho he can honestly say those parts of the circus used to terrify him until he learned that not everyone is the same and there should be no shame in that

He will train on the side until he finishes his degree to make his parents happy but he knows he truly belongs in the circus and that’s where he will be someday whether his parents approve or not— after all this is his life

Lives on campus and is currently looking for a flat off campus to share with a roommate or two (he thought about asking jake & Tim but decided against it FOR NOW)

Mostly had temporary and odd jobs to get by each semester, has not had a steady job due to fully being a full-time student

He’s tried to be a full time student and full time employee (working as a package delivery man) just to burn himself out and never attempted to be a part time employee. It was not something he could handle sorry

His mother spoils him...he’s a bit of a mama’s boy

When it comes to relationships, it never seems to be what he thinks it is? One moment things are going great then the next he’s in the friend zone so he’s never quite sure where he stands with his significant others?

Which is why he thinks it’s safe to always start off in the friend zone or unintentionally puts those who have interest in him in the friend zone because that’s what’s comfortable to him

however if he’s really into you & you’re showing that you’re into him but it’s causal dating or whatever u want to call it? & you up and decide to pick the other over him catching him off guard he’s gonna be in his feelings about it 100% ex.) how he picked erikah over mc the 2nd time around and felt some type of way when erikah hopped on reeses dck

he wants communication even if it’s hard

and he wants someone to love unconditionally and for them to love him back

Definitely likes to sweep his loves off their feet

Especially when he’s kissing! The whole dipping you while you kiss, hand on the small of your back, or hands gripping your waist while he’s pressed up against you. Probably likes to bend you over things or have you pressed up against objects as well—Sign me tf up

I feel like he’s always warm and his hands are surprisingly soft with how many handstands he does in a damn day

He purchases hand moisturizing gloves

can always hold his own weight

enjoys core exercises

Will carry you on his back or his shoulders if you need to see better at festivals/concerts

He’s sexually fluid

It’s canon/hinted that something went on between him & jake when mc walked in that we missed by a few seconds or even a minute but I do think he’s attracted/was to jake and it’s canon that jake is bi bby

Plus he got excited when mc suggested that he’d date jake if jake doesn’t find someone in the villa so BOOM 🤗

Always active as a kid trying to do flips and shit likes he’s doing parkour much like Bobby ending up with bruises, scrapes, and surprisingly no broken bones? Well maybe scratch that last bit out...He did crack his head open a little bit once giving his mother a heart attack but his mother doesn’t dare speak of it — haram!

Loves his sleeveless shirts and silver thick chains

Keeps a five o’clock shadow + might grow a little stubble here and there, feels like it’s part of his signature look

Won’t grow a full beard due to the racism/prejudice he witnessed his father, grandfather, uncles, and cousins go thru!

Will spend coin on some aftershave, none of that cheap shit when it comes to that! Sorry he takes pride in his facial area

probably went thru a mild case of cystic acne when puberty hit & had some insecure moments when it comes to his appearance & still has moments where it’ll hit even tho he beat it thanks to some remedies but tries his best not to let it get to him

He knows how to manage his $ but can splurge every now and then but will never showcase what he has — that’s v corny to him to be overly flashy. He’s looking at y’all @/leggy @/jasper/@/miles

Doesn’t take high quality photos of himself, it’s always zoomed in or extra zoomed in photos—yup he’s got that type of feed

Regrets putting mc in the friend zone & wishes he put more effort in making things work with erikah

But slowly learned to be happy that she’s with Reese even if he wasn’t at first. He really thought there could have been something for him & erikah

he secretly thinks their “relationship” is superficial & based off of shallowness and lust. What else do they have? Nothing that he could have given her but what’s the point in being bitter over this?

Reese is a shit stirrer that thinks he can get anything he wants because of the way he looks & if he knows outside info that he can use again you, he WILL

& erikah? He doesn’t know where her head is at majority of the time. She likes to throw rocks then acts like she didn’t mean to do it but why do it in the first place if you didn’t mean to? + she seems to lose interest fast if they don’t fit her standards besides their physical appearance...yeah Rohan caught all of that

So did she even genuinely like him or want to besides what he brought to the table physically? Who knows

He just thinks people deserve their chance at happiness and he possibly could have had it if he wasn’t standing in his own way...and he absolutely won’t stand in anyone else’s way if they don’t see potential happiness with him

He’s cool with cherry but deep down he knew there wouldn’t be anything long term between him & her after some time. She’s a beautiful/hot girl but she wasn’t his type + he didn’t like how she portrayed herself in the villa even tho she claims there was more than what meets the eye when it comes to her

she proved that to him which she didn’t HAVE to!!! outside of the house and they actually remained friends unlike the now growing distance he has with erikah

I cannoned that him and Hannah give it a go. I think they’d be cute together? She told him from the moment they met at a festival that they were now dating after they ended up holding hands but he didn’t take her seriously since she was a little drunk?

She messaged him two days later asking him when they were going on their date and that was enough for him to give it a go

They only lasted for a couple of months since they outgrew each other slowly but surely. ‘Not all things are temporary,’ he had to remind himself

It was no bad blood thankfully and they continued to be friends with him wishing her well on her new relationship with Carl. He was genuinely happy for her as he always was for his friends

Cannot cook for shit but makes the best coffee with cinnamon & cardamom

once tried to make Aloo Chaat but with a twist! With the use of Potato Skins instead! for a family dinner party and his mum almost sent him home due to the insults his father spewed at rohan trying to fool them all that it was his wife who prepared such a thing

It is evident that his father only enjoys his wife’s cooking

he still makes it for himself when he’s starving despite what his father thinks

Is fluent in Urdu, English came second

Never ashamed of his culture although his father thinks he is...

His fav shows are misfits + the IT crowd and he is currently watching & enjoying truth seekers + mr. selfridge since Tim recommended it to him ofc

his fav American show is the challenge

when asked what his fav American movie is, he got dragged since ppl assumed it would be the greatest showman but he can’t take all the singing...musicals aren’t his thing sorry

But he’ll bust out a rap only if Tim & jake are around, he rarely does it alone

Even looked into producing music for fun but never took THAT seriously

closest with jake & Tim, doesn’t have much of a relationship with the other lads 🤷🏽‍♀️ but there’s no real beef with anyone he knows how to let shit go

But you’ll never catch him having a chat with Reese or following him back on ig. What they had to say to each other was already said and done so?

If erikah agrees to get engaged to Reese, he’s happy for her but cordial to him

if she doesn’t end up with Reese, he’ll be her shoulder to lean on if she needs it

his love language is physical touch with a splash of acts of service

Commonly sleeps curled up, his mum says he was like that in the womb as well—(same dude)

He’s probably a good 5’9 - 5’7 on bad days

Is he a Pisces? Idk

His signature cologne is probably Antaeus by Chanel which is described to have notes of: lemon, lime, coriander and sage w. A blend of thyme, basil and rose

Loves black pepper, specifically garlic, onion, black pepper, and sea salt all mixed together

has a vitiligo spot on the right side of his lower spine that is commonly covered with the waistband of whatever bottoms he has on

has a pogo stick

Wants to go skydiving next, has gone bungee jumping—which was such a adrenaline rush!!!

probably knows a few tips on how to survive in the wild or if the apocalypse hits...you can never be too sure

If he ever gets a pet he might get something like: Satanic Leaf tailed Gecko, Kinkajou, or a Pac-Man frog. He likes being different okay

he actually enjoyed season 3 despite the negative remarks made about it. It was “different” basically drama free which was a shocker knowing how production likes to take things take a shot every time ro explains his decisions/opinions as such lol

BUT he won’t go as far to say he liked it better than his season yet he did enjoy keeping up with it. He def has a crush on iona, aj, vieve, Camilo & tai

Yasmin actually joined one of his lives, which he doesn’t do too often but he couldn’t sleep one night and thought he’d give it a go. She’s quite nice & quiet but he ultimately felt calm around her + they bonded over bohemian lifestyle & his love for the circus + a little about their cultures

Long term goals? He doesn’t have a set timeline of when he wants everything to happen because pressure is not fun

but he wants to be in love and loved back, wants to be married, wants to have kids, wants to try out the circus for awhile and if that doesn’t work out he can always fall back on his psych degree—he just wants to be happy and share that with someone, that’s one of the biggest adventures he can possibly have

His anthem = Blxst, “No Love Lost”

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calaofnoldor · 3 years

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Sixth Time’s the Charm [4]

(GIF credit: @teamfreewill-imagine)

Characters: Sam x F!Reader, Dean

Words: 6,107

Series Summary: All the times Dean has tried to get Sam to admit his feelings for you. (Each chapter can be read as a stand-alone.)

Chapter Summary: You offer yourself as bait for a shapeshifter hunt. Things do not go as planned.

Warnings: canon level violence, language, idiots in love, mutual pining, huffy!sam, protective!sam, slight angst?, slow burn, fluff

A/N: i am SO sorry for the wait (story of my life) but to make up for it, look, 6k words! (yeah i’m sorry about that too, i don’t know what happened there.) written for @tvdspngirl314‘s birthday writing event with the prompt “You ever feel like that? Like you were just destined for someone?” which is bolded in the fic. this also fills a square for @spnfluffbingo!

Square Filled: Rescue Mission

← BACK UP | MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

The fourth time was all you. Dean barely had to lift a finger. The result, however, was far more traumatic than he had planned and rather emphatically revealed the magnitude of his brother’s feelings toward you.

Much like the previous attempts, there was a case: a shapeshifter going after women who conveniently happened to fit your description. The strategy was obvious, and you’d leaped at the opportunity to both make yourself useful and hopefully take the place of what would have otherwise been the next innocent civilian victim. But of course, Sam resisted at first.

“No. Absolutely not! We don’t know enough about this guy for you to just jump into his waiting arms, Y/N!” The fervent indignation in his tone and body language was palpable. Sam was rarely one to raise his voice or sport much of a temper at all really, but lately these heated outbursts seemed to be occurring more frequently, and frankly you were getting sick of it. The false hope they momentarily granted you through the notion that perhaps he cared about you as more than a friend was one thing. What’s more, the way his voice lowered half an octave combined with the sight of his flared nostrils, puffed chest, and straining jaw always seemed to have a sideways effect on you, in that it was impossible to keep your attention on his words alone. But boy did you try.

“Sam, how many times do we have to go through this? I’m a big girl; I can take care of myself. And your wrist is still healing so it’s not like you can call the shots on this one anyway. Besides, I’m not going in alone. You and Dean will be there for backup the whole time, right?”

“’Course we will, eh Sammy?” In a strange turn of events, Dean often appeared to be the one with a more jovial outlook recently.

Sam merely nodded and continued his heavy breathing. He glared down at his bandaged left wrist, the result of skirmish with a couple of wraiths, as if it were the root of all his problems. Then he looked up and through densely drawn brows, those magnetizing multicolored eyes pierced yours, his countenance bearing a charged and sullen expression of pensive exasperation as his jaw visibly tightened. You swallowed and could not for the life of you find the will to look away.

“So it’s settled then,” Dean proclaimed jubilantly, “Unless… you’ve got another reason you don’t want Y/N playing bait, hmm Sam? Maybe something you wanna share with the class? Or, you know, I could leave…”

“Dean, stop it. You’re not helping,” you quickly admonished before steadying your gaze back on the taller Winchester, “Look, Sam, have I ever let you down?”

“No. Never.”

“And do you still trust me?”

“Of course,” he responded immediately in a ‘what-kind-of-a-question-is-that’ tone, at which you simply raised your eyebrow to send him a reciprocating ‘then-what’s-the-problem?’ look.

“OK fine,” Sam huffed out a big breath, “But you’re not taking any risks! Anything seems off at all, just… promise me you’ll wait for me and Dean and keep us in the loop?”

His pleading eyes were so earnest and you’d truly never been able to say no to the giant puppy before, so you offered him a little smile and said, “Cross my heart.”

Sighing, Sam rubbed his face, looking lost in thought for a moment until he spoke up again, much more reserved and hesitant this time, “Do you still have that uh… ring from… that time?” Dean muffled a snort at his brother’s expense but you both ignored him, completely accustomed to his nonsensical teasing by now.

“Uh yeah, I- I think so.” The uncertainty in your voice was a lie. Of course you still had the ring you’d once used to pretend to be married to Sam Winchester. You may or may not have tucked it away in a special place for safekeeping.

“Good,” Sam nodded curtly, “I want you to wear it. It’s silver. I’ll wear mine too and Dean already has his. That’s how we’ll know that we’re still… ourselves.”

“OK, yeah that’s a good idea,” you agreed, trying your hardest not to linger on the memories.

“Well look at you two! Getting hitched again so soon-“

“Shut up, Dean,” you and Sam cut him off together.

When the meeting was adjourned and you were about to part ways to prepare for the upcoming hunt, something inside you forced you to call out his name, “Oh and Sam!” He turned around at once, questioning gaze somewhat urgently searching yours for a sign of what might come next. You stuttered though, feeling suddenly self conscious, so the next words you uttered were not much louder than a whisper, “Be careful with your wrist.”

Sam smiled, his dimples making your fingers twitch with the need to caress them. “I’ll be fine. You just look out for yourself. Remember, we’ll be right behind you.”

Somehow you both didn’t hear the groan Dean emitted as he rolled his eyes to the ceiling and prayed to whoever was listening, ‘Good lord, someone give me the strength to survive another day with these imbeciles.’

There was only one diner in the tiny Pennsylvanian town, and seeing as you were starving by the time you got there, the three of you were forced to make do with soggy fries and questionable milkshakes. As you ate, you went through your game plan once more, which essentially consisted of waiting until nightfall to visit the bar from where the previous girls had gone missing, while Sam and Dean shadowed you covertly.

Before you left, you took a quick trip to the loo and when you returned, Sam was stood outside alone, a broad smile upon his face.

“Where’s Dean?” you asked as you began to walk out the diner, expecting to find the older brother waiting impatiently in the parking lot by his precious car, but the Impala was gone.

“He went back to the motel, said he had something to take care of and that we should go scope the place out first.”

“But I thought we agreed to-“

“Yeah, well change of plans, you know how it is,” Sam replied casually with a shrug.

Little red flags started fluttering in your head, urging your eyes downward to locate the silver band on his finger. You frowned when you found it there untouched on his right hand; Sam almost never interrupted you, not even when he was absorbed in the foulest of moods.

Apparently sensing your hesitation, he added, “I mean, he made a good point. Maybe if you familiarize yourself with the surroundings first, you’ll be able to take the guy out faster.”

Sam was still smiling at you, but it felt all wrong. You couldn’t explain it, but there was something missing from his rainbow eyes. The colors were all there, but they lacked luster and warmth, a delicate twinkle that you’d learned to associate with the beautiful, heroic yet self-doubting giant of a man. Never had you seen that breathtaking magic replicated elsewhere, nor had you ever seen Sam without it, which was why you were almost completely certain that the man before you was not the real Sam Winchester.

But weaving within you was a thread of doubt, insisting that you couldn’t just pull a gun on your best friend because of something as trivial as… a feeling? No, you needed to test your theory. And so, bracing yourself with a deep breath, you slowly reached out your silver-equipped hand to do something you’d grown accustomed to resentfully abstaining from: touching Sam’s bare skin. You aimed for the large target of his hand, deeming it the most inconspicuous of places (given that he was wearing his hunters’ uniform and the only other visible option would’ve been his face or neck), but Sam was faster. Just before you were able to graze his skin with your ring, he caught your wrist in his much bigger hand and pulled it away, twisting your arm until it was locked painfully behind you.

“You think you’re smart, huh?” the shifter snarled with a flash of its eyes, moving in real close as he used Sam’s immense size and his own superhuman strength to easily constrain you.

Even so, you stared up at him defiantly, unafraid, “Sam and Dean will be back.”

“That’s the plan.”

Sam’s sneering face and threatening voice were the last things you saw or heard.

You had no way of determining how much time had passed when you unceremoniously came to in what looked and smelled to be an underground sewer. As your senses sharpened and your muddled brain began to size up your current plight, you nearly scoffed at the clichéd style of your captor. Sat on a peeling wooden chair, manila rope bound your wrists together behind your back and tethered your ankles securely to each of the seat’s front legs.

Ignoring the ache in your head, you set about strategically testing the knots and the integrity of the wood. If only you could reach the silver blade in your boot. But your attempts were interrupted by the reappearance of the shifter, whose shoe hit something as he stepped before you. A metallic clang echoed through the confined space as a result and you followed the sound to find your coveted knife on the ground, far beyond your reach.

“Fucking hunters, always think they’re so clever, always one step ahead because it’s their game. Sure, we might be the monsters but you’re the predators! So let’s see how you like being the prey for once.” Shifter Sam’s upper lip curled up in a way that seemed so foreign to you as he leaned forward to rest his hands on either arm of your chair, caging you in.

The malicious glint in his eye left you with no qualms about affronting this being who, for all intents and purposes, appeared identical to the man you’d recently discovered you were in love with. Lifting your chin, you glared up at him brazenly, “If you’re so keen on being the predator then why am I still alive? What are you waiting for?”

“Why your knight in shining armor of course!” he exclaimed, backing up as he stood to his full height and gestured to himself with both hands. “You think it was a coincidence that all those women looked like you?”

The shifter’s narrowed eyes were alight with amusement and a ripple of fear surged through your body. You were in much deeper than you or the boys had anticipated, though years of practice helped you keep your voice steady and bold, “What did you do to them?”

“Oh, I gave them a fairly painless death, don’t you worry. They were just stepping stones on my way to you. See, the Winchesters owe me a girlfriend, so I figured I’d take the closest thing to theirs. But imagine my joyous surprise when I got into this big lug’s head and discovered that he’s in love with you! No, actually it’s more than that. He’s obsessed with you; you never leave his brain! Every other thought and memory is about you... Well, it’s either you or his brother, but oh, it’s gonna kill him to see you die before his eyes. I might’ve been able to replace my dead girlfriend, but I don’t think Sam here will ever come back from losing you.”

Stunned into silence, the stupid influx of misguided hormones pumping through your veins forced you to focus on maintaining a neutral expression as he rattled on.

“And you feel the same way, don’t you? So this really will be a double kill. It’s OK, you can let it all out. I might be a monster but I’m not one to deny the dying their chance for some last words. Besides, you can say it all while looking into the eyes of the man you love.”

“Fuck you,” were the only words you could trust yourself to spit out at him.

‘Sam’ laughed, but it was nothing like the laughs you normally pulled from him. It didn’t radiate like sunshine or replenish your soul with glee. Rather, it was chilling and conniving and despite the mimicry of Sam’s beautiful voice, you immediately decided that you never wanted to hear it again.

“Not feeling too talkative, huh? Or maybe you’d rather wait until he gets here in the flesh to make that anticlimactic confession of love? That’s alright, I can just tell you more about this dumbass’s feelings for you.” The shifter chuckled with delight, as if every word brought him nothing but pure joy. “Man, he loves you so much, it’s insane. I’ve never been inside the skin of someone so in love. And I thought I really loved my ex. Afterall, this whole revenge thing is for her. But I gotta tell ya, I’ve got nothing on Sam Winchester. Did you know he thinks you were made specifically for him? You ever feel like that? Like you were just destined for someone? Cause Sam does. That’s how he feels about you.”

“Why should I believe you?” you challenged, growing tired of the inadvertent response his words were eliciting. Your heart was pounding in your neck, core trembling at the mere possibility of Sam genuinely feeling the way he’d described. But you knew better than to trust a monster, and one who was in pursuit of maximal vengeance no less. Still, those rose-colored thoughts resonated within you, and you stumbled to dismiss them as they bubbled up, one after another like a game of emotional whack-a-mole.

Shifter Sam smirked, “Yeah, you’re a cynical one, aren’t you? You know everything he said in that marriage counseling session was true. You kinda hurt his feelings when you just brushed it all off. Even big brother Dean’s been trying to get him to confess his love for you. You must’ve heard them arguing about it at some point? They weren’t exactly being discreet.”

Choosing not to respond, you simply scowled at him.

“No? Still in denial? Perhaps you need details… You ever notice how he always sits across from you whenever you’re doing research? It’s because he thinks you’re gorgeous when you’re focused, and it gives him an opportunity to admire you without getting caught. And why do you think he lets you call him Sammy, huh? Yeah, he might not let it on but he fucking loves it when you do, makes him feel all tingly inside. And you remember that cop who hit on you? Captain Anderson, was it? Sam wanted to break the guy’s nose just for touching you. Oh and why do you think he asked you to move into the bedroom closest to his? It’s so he can keep track of your nightmares. He likes to keep you close because it makes him feel like he can protect you better when you need it.”

By now, your ‘neutral expression’ must have surely mutated to betray your shock, and you couldn’t have answered if you tried. The shifter didn’t seem to mind either way. In fact, he appeared to be having the time of his life.

“And it’s not all pure thoughts, let me tell you! Oh man, buddy boy here has dreamed up plenty of X-rated scenes with you, ranging from obnoxiously romantic to just plain obscene. You name a position and he’s imagined it, in high-definition detail,” he embellished, tapping an index finger against his temple, “His mind is like a library of pornos starring the two of you, although he’ll never get to live out any of his fantasies, will he? It’s a shame really; some of these are really hot... Ooh, I’ll have to borrow that one,” he said with closed eyes, as if a figment of Sam’s imagination was playing through his head in that very moment, “Maybe my girl and I can re-enact it while we’re still in your skins-”

“Shut up, just shut up!” you finally bellowed in protest.

Sam watched the bathroom door attentively after you’d disappeared through it, unable to contain the upward jerk of his lips when he saw you walking back out of it. Heartwarming relief had become his body’s intrinsic response to seeing you safe and sound.

“You ready?” he questioned when you made it to his side.

“Yeah, I’m good.” God, even the sound of your voice made him happy.

Once you got back to the motel, Dean plopped down onto one of the full-size beds, exhausted from the drive. Within a matter of seconds, snores began to fill the room, and Sam chuckled under his breath as he sat down around a wobbly table with you to continue your research on the shifter’s victims, hoping to find something else that linked them together or a clue as to where they might’ve been taken.

It wasn’t long before you inhaled a revelatory gasp and abruptly clutched Sam’s wrist to show him what you’d found. But your grip was harsh, causing him to hiss in pain and do something he’d never before done: recoil from your touch.

“Oh, I’m sorry, does it still hurt?” you asked nonchalantly, smiling up at him innocently.

Worse than the pain in his fractured wrist was what felt like sirens blaring in his head. You were always hyper-cognizant of his injuries and exceedingly careful around them, sometimes even more so than himself. Sam looked you over subtly, eyes landing on the silver ring still upon your finger. Perhaps his mind had been playing tricks on him and all that tender attention he thought you’d shown him was simply a mirage of his own wishful thinking?

“It’s fine, I just wasn’t expecting it.” Sam sent you a tight smile, to which you responded with a dazzling one of your own. It was beautiful but something about it felt off. In the past, you apologized profusely if ever you found yourself the accidental cause of his discomfort, no matter how indirect or insignificant the case, but right now there wasn’t a single speck of concern in your eyes. Indeed, the more he looked into them, the more he struggled to recognize the person staring back at him.

In a flash, Sam had you up against the wall, a silver blade held against your neck. He looked down to see the metal sizzling there, burning your flesh, and cursed himself for failing to notice sooner.

The noise woke Dean from his slumber and what he saw when he opened his eyes was equal parts shocking and amusing. “Whoa! At least wait till I’m out of the room! And isn’t that a little kinky for your first time?”

“Dean, it’s not her. She’s not Y/N,” Sam grit out, “She’s wearing the ring but she’s not Y/N.”

His brother’s brows knit together as he rubbed the sleep from his emerald greens. “Wha- How did you know?”

“She was acting… weird.”

Dean scrambled off the bed, making a quick call on his phone to ensure you really were missing. He paled when a robotic voice over the line told him the number he was trying to reach was no longer in service.

It was then the shifter decided to speak up, “You know, the real Y/N would have liked this, you pressing her up against a wall?” she murmured suggestively.

“Shut up. Where is she?!” Sam slammed her body against the flimsy motel wall once more and dug the knife in a little deeper. In his panic-stricken state, he barely registered her remark, being driven entirely by a one-track mind at present.

Shifter Y/N grimaced slightly, glancing down at the knife, “Maybe if you stop cutting into me with that, I might consider telling you.”

“How did you get the ring?”

“Oh, this little thing? You like it? It’s imitation silver, but otherwise nearly identical to the one on the real Y/N’s finger. You see, we’ve been following you for a while now.”

“Who’s we? Where did you take Y/N?!” he demanded incessantly.

“My boyfriend’s got her, but don’t worry, he looks just like you so I’m sure she’ll find her accommodations to her liking,” she retorted with a smirk.

Sam’s heart lunged in his chest and his mind began whirring with endless possibilities of escalating dread. Had you been deceived and captured by a shifter pretending to be him? Were you being hurt or tortured by someone who looked exactly like him? How would you ever be able to look at him the same way again? Of course, you’d know it wasn’t Sam but the damage would still be done. You would forever remember his face as that of someone who once hurt you, who tried to kill you. That is, if Sam could make it to you in time.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get to see her one last time. That’s actually why I’m here, to take you to her when the time is right,” the shifter added casually.

“I will end your miserable fucking life! Tell me where she is right now!” Sam roared before pressing the blade further into her neck, the veins in his forearms ready to burst through his skin.

“Hey, hey! Sammy, ease up! We need her alive, alright?” Dean bounded over to his brother and after quite the struggle, managed to assuage him enough to release his vice grip and replace it with silver chains that shackled her to a chair.

“Sam, maybe we should also be asking ‘why’,” Dean mused as he fastened the end of a chain against one of the beds.

With a shake of his head, Sam avowed through grinding teeth, “I don’t fucking care. I have to get to her.”

“And what if it’s a trap?”

“Then I’ll find her myself.”

Dean scoffed in disbelief as he turned to his usually wise and level-headed little brother, “Oh yeah, and how’re you gonna do that? Where would you even start?”

“I don’t know!” Sam exclaimed in exasperation. Then, after a pause of desperate deliberation alleged, “Shifters like to make their lairs in sewers, right?”

Taking a step closer, Dean maintained his challenging tone, “So what are you gonna do, just wade through the entire town’s shit and piss until you find her?!”

“If that's what it takes, then yes!” Sam looked like he was about to eat his brother alive.

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” shifter Y/N interfered from her seated position before them, raising her chin to meet Sam’s eyes, “Don’t worry, handsome, I can tell you she feels the same way. But unfortunately, by the time you get to her, I don’t think she’ll be able to tell you herself. In fact, you’ll probably hardly recognize her anymore… so you might want to keep me around, if only as a souvenir of your soon-to-be-dead girlfriend.”

Sam couldn’t contain himself anymore. Despite looking like a carbon copy of you, the evil gleam in the shifter’s eyes made her easily differentiable, and so Sam held back nothing when he lunged across the distance, knife in hand ready to do some real damage. However, Dean pounced with him, having predicted his brother’s violent eruption and felt his shaking wrath, knowing a little too well just how rash he could be when it came to you. Still, it took all of Dean’s strength to pull Sam back, sending him a stern but knowing look once he did.

“Sam, stop!” His low voice rumbled as he went into authoritative big brother mode, “Listen to me, you wanna save Y/N? Well so do I, but this is not how we do it! Now I know it’s hard, but I need you to calm down, alright?”

Sam’s massive chest was practically at his chin as he heaved ginormous breaths. Though his body language was still offensive, his hazel eyes were filled with fear and devastation when they looked toward his brother, “Dean, if I don't get to her in time, I’ll...” Clenching his jaw, Sam made a fruitless attempt to calm his tremoring frame and quell his tumultuous emotions. What would he do? Sam wasn’t even sure himself. All he knew was that every cell in his being was currently screaming at him to get to you, to make sure you were safe and soothe away any of your pain. There was nothing he wouldn’t give in that moment to simply know you were alright and to hold you in his arms. He knew you could look after yourself, but for once he had a terrifying feeling that even you were in over your head, that you might actually need him this time, and he’d be fucking damned if he let you down.

“Woah! Hey, hey! Sammy, look at me! That ain’t gonna happen, alright? We’re gonna find Y/N and we’re gonna bring her home in one piece, you hear me? We’re the Winchesters, man! We’ve faced the end of the world. What’s a couple of shifters got on us?”

‘You,’ Sam thought, ‘They’ve got you.’ But he appreciated Dean’s pep talk nonetheless and nodded in response as a fresh surge of determination swelled within him.

“Alright then,” Dean nodded as well, “Why don’t you let me give her a go?”

As Dean’s silver blade cut into the detained shapeshifter, Sam flinched with every moan and howl of agony. He knew it wasn’t you, but she still had your voice and your perfect face. Yet not a second was wasted on the feeling of relief when they finally managed to get a location out of her. Sam nearly tripped over himself in his haste as he snatched the Impala’s keys and his gun before flying out of the room with a jumbled order for Dean to stay with the monster.

“Well, if you’re not gonna admit your feelings for the giant lumberjack, I guess you’re right. Maybe I should stop yapping and get to prettying you up for that first and last date of yours, huh?” Shifter Sam prodded your cheek with a switchblade.

You said nothing. At this point, you had a sneaking suspicion that physical pain might be more bearable than the psychological torment your imprisoner had been so keen on. It was one thing for you to torture yourself by entertaining the slim possibility that Sam might return your feelings for him, but to hear such outrageous perceptions from a creature who could read the inside of his mind like a paperback novel, and conveyed with such tantalizing conviction… well, it just about broke you.

And knowing that the shifter was yearning to coax a confession out of you simply to cause Sam as much anguish as possible made you more resolute about your refusal to submit, beyond the need to protect your own sanity.

One shiner and a slash to the thigh later, however, you heard a loud clash. Shifter Sam paused his handiwork and began to turn around, “Could your knight be here ahead of schedule?”

‘Dammit,’ you thought. The Winchesters were usually capable of being stealthy when necessary but in case it really was the sound of them making a blunder or encountering some other form of resistance, you figured you’d buy them a distraction.

“Wait, wait! You’re right, OK? Maybe I do feel something for Sam, but even if I told him, I think you’re forgetting… This is Sam fucking Winchester we’re talking about here. He’s been tortured by the devil himself. You really think killing me is going do much damage?”

Your abductor had now given you his full attention, leering at you with a sly smile, so you continued, “Besides, you picked a fight with the Winchesters; don't expect to live to see tomorrow.”

Right on cue, a hulking blur of hair and plaid came barreling in, growling ferally as he grabbed the shifter and threw more than one brutal punch against what appeared to be his own face. The silver ring on Sam’s hand made contact with skin and his shifter counterpart groaned in pain.

You nearly forgot about your ceaseless work of untying the rope that cuffed your wrists together as your looked on in shock. Why Sam hadn’t just shot him with a silver bullet was beyond you. He was smarter than this. There was no need to drag out a monster’s death if a more efficient option existed. But as he continued to engage his clone in hand-to-hand combat, it appeared almost as if he was venting his frustrations on the shifter, as if he drank up every ounce of hurt he was able to inflict. But his high only lasted so long and shifter Sam soon regained his balance, making use of his supernatural invulnerability and superior strength.

“Sam!” you screamed as the shifter threw him across the room.

He tumbled up just in time as the shifter meandered over, “So nice of you to join us, Sam. You know, Y/N here was just telling me about-“

Sam didn’t wait for him to finish, choosing instead to tackle him to the floor with a loud grunt. While they wrestled on the ground, you worked furiously at the knots behind you, wincing with every hit Sam took though it was becoming hard to tell them apart.

When Sam finally drew his gun, the shifter was able to divert its barrel and a shot rang out futilely. Catching a subsequent elbow to the ribs had Sam falling to his knees and you watched in horror as shifter Sam once again gained the upper hand, sending the gun flying out of Sam’s grasp. The binding around your wrists was just about undone when Sam seized a stray rusty pipe and swung it against his counterfeit. Shifter Sam was incapacitated for a brief instant but quickly returned to form with some vicious hooks and a couple of well-placed knees.

With your hands finally free of their restraints, you staggered over to the gun, the chair still attached at your ankles. As you took aim, you shouted, “Sam, get down!” before you shot his mirror image through the heart.

Sighing, you slumped to your hands and knees whilst the real Sam sat up with his back against a wall, gaping at you with a look of awe. Yet before he even caught his breath, he was up and gliding toward you, cradling his left wrist at an awkward angle.

“Sam, your wrist!”

“It’s fine, are you OK?” he swiftly dismissed your concern, cupping your face with his good hand as he examined the darkening bruise around your eye.

You ignored the palpitations in your chest and placed a hand upon his wrist, “Yeah, I’m fine. He wasted more time playing mind games than anything. You know villains and their monologues,” you joked, trying to ease his tension and the deluded self-imposed guilt you knew he must’ve been brewing in.

As if to prove your point, Sam lamented, “God, I’m so sorry. I should have known. I should have gotten here sooner.”

“What? No! They were miles ahead of us, Sam. The whole thing was a set up; this was their hunt. How could you have known?”

Rather than replying, he released a breath and busied himself trying to help you out of your binding.

Back at the motel, after icing your eye and stitching up your thigh, you insisted on re-wrapping Sam’s wrist while Dean took care of shifter Y/N’s remains. But when the older Winchester returned and spied you and his brother sitting together on a bed through a crack in the door, he couldn’t resist the chance to exercise his espionage skills.

“How did you know she wasn’t me anyway?” you asked as you gently wound the ace bandage around Sam’s swollen forearm.

“I just…” He looked down at your nimble fingers upon his skin and smiled unwittingly at their tender touch, “had a feeling.”

Sam’s sunflower gaze locked onto yours for a frozen instant and something about his soft expression made you forget what words were, until he cleared his throat, “Did you um- did you know he wasn’t me?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed, smiling for some strange reason. Perhaps you were just glad to see his trademark twinkle return to those otherworldly eyes. “Pretty soon after actually. I… had a feeling too.”

Sam’s dimples made every ache in your body disappear as that twinkle glistened in full force, “And how’d you know which one to shoot?”

Well, that dampened your mood and brought you back to the task at hand, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you kept grimacing every time you used your left wrist?” Although your words had a bitter force behind them, the pressure beneath your fingertips never increased and Sam had almost completely forgotten about his pain.

You, on the other hand, were reminded of your struggle to reconcile with what had happened since his question prompted a restored and growing frustration.

It had been bugging you the whole time and you felt compelled to confront him about it because storming in alone with a bad wrist, ready to throw hands with an out-of-his-league monster was really not Sam’s style. Something must’ve gotten into him and with everything the shifter had told you, you couldn’t help but wonder. Nevertheless, you were a little afraid of how he might answer, so Dean had to lean in closer to hear your next words.

“Why didn’t you just shoot him?”

“W-what do you mean?” Sam stammered out after a pause.

“Sam, you have a broken wrist, but instead of sending Dean or using your gun from the get-go, you came in like a madman and went after him with your fists!” Your voice was full of incredulity though it also carried an undertone of anger.

As Sam picked up on that reproachful tone, you could almost feel the telltale signs of his puppy dog eyes coming on. “He used my face to deceive you, to hurt you. They manipulated us. I had to- ...I mean, he killed those women just to get us here. He had it coming!”

Your hopes plummeted. Of course, Sam was ever the righteous man. Why would you assume his brashness had been purely born out of a need to avenge you? Though regardless of his reason, you were still upset about his self-destructing behavior, “Yeah, but you had to have realized you were in no position to be the one to give it to him, right? I mean, you might’ve looked the same but he was juiced up on monster superpowers, Sam… which meant he was stronger and faster, not to mention uninjured, in his own territory, and apparently the only one with a sound plan.”

A breath of laughter left Sam’s lips though there was no smile on his face. Here he’d been on a mission to save you, but you were the one who’d ended up saving him, again. You must’ve thought he was comically stupid and pathetically useless. How could he possibly think he was worthy of you? “I guess I should thank you for saving my ass again, huh?”

“What?! No! That’s not what I mean. Sam, you’re the one who saved me! And I’m beyond grateful for it, really I am. I just wish you didn’t hurt yourself more in the process.” You finally finished up with his wrist wrap, securing the final ends with a clip, and letting your hands linger on his for longer than necessary, momentarily distracted by the disparity of size between them. Sam didn’t appear uncomfortable though, as his fingers twitched closer to yours and he made no move to pull away.

He couldn’t help but smile again when he noticed the sincere concern in your eyes that was previously absent in the shifter’s. “Yeah well, what was it you once said to me? ‘Your ass will always be worth it’?”

“And if I remember correctly, you once told me you don’t do things on hunts that make your injuries worse,” you quoted him back with an arched brow.

“Yeah well, I guess this is payback. Now you know how I felt.” A playful grin made his dimples deepen and you clenched your jaw to refrain from gushing over the ridiculous cuteness of this ‘giant lumberjack’.

“You’re an idiot.”

“As long as you’re OK,” Sam answered assuredly, and you nearly melted when his free hand caressed your cheek for the second time that day, big thumb tracing a feather-light path below the purpled skin.

‘You’re both fucking idiots,’ Dean groaned internally from the other side of the door. He knew he had no choice but to up his game.

thanks so much for reading! feedback is greatly appreciated!

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#sam winchester x reader #sam x reader #spnfluffbingo2021 #allyswritingevent #protective!sam #huffy!sam #sam winchester x you #sam x y/n #sam winchester x female!reader #sam x female!reader #supernatural x reader #sam winchester fluff #spn #fanfiction #mini series #sttc #my writing #text

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theoreticslut · 3 years

Text

“Do you feel the same?” // d.m.

derek morgan x reader

requested: for @anxiousblanketqueen ’s bday writing challenge!

word count: 1.7k

warnings: slightly angsty, but overall just fluff & flirting

A/N: okay, first ever derek morgan fic & I’m not sure how I feel about it. I like it, but at the same time I feel like it’s just not as good as it could be, you know? in all fairness, i am still trying to get through the series so I don’t have a total grasp at his character yet, but I tried. let me know what you think? It’d be so deeply appreciated 💗 anyways, I have another fic for Jill’s writing challenge that I’m thinking I’ll put out either thursday or friday?! It’s a spicier one so that’s exciting. keep an eye out for it! Xx

taglist: tagging my general taglist once again - if you don’t read for criminal minds, just ignore this. Also, if you still havent filled out my new taglist form, please do! Xx

general taglist - @accioalix @captaincactusjuice @inglourious-imagines @keepawaythenargles @lemongrasshoney @onyourgoddamleft @valiantobservationkitty @concepcion @eternallyvenus @fandomwhoress @fleurho @fredweasleyzwh0re @harleigh110 @hufflepuffflowers @hufflrpuffforfred @i-miei-amori @littlemisswitt @sammy-the-gay @sightiff @starstruckgranger @teenwolfbitches2 @watermelonsugar2810 @harrypotterwifey @ioverslane99 @darthwheezely @callmelilone @teawiththeweasleys @softlyqoos @justmesadgirl @xuckduck @filipi-yes @aestheticwh0r3 @siredkai @matsuno-nadeshiko @msmarklee1213 @immajustreadwritereblog @msmimimerton @perfectlysane24 @mischievous-queen @bunnyboo7 @grandeoptimist @daddystevee @slytherinxhunter @streetfighterrichie @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @isthereanymorejello @karushinekomiya @p0gue420 @hogwartslut @sebby-staan @fredshmeasley

General CM - @anxiousblanketqueen @your-hispanichufflepuff @yikesyikesyikes95 @livvysnaps

It’s unusually quiet as everyone boards the jet. While the case had ended as good as one can, it had been a long and extremely tiring ordeal. You’re pretty sure that everyone is in agreement that you all need a day off to rest.

However, the best you can get at the moment is to try to get some peace on the flight back, and maybe if your lucky, get an hour or so of sleep.

Unfortunately, you are not one of the lucky ones.

“How’re you doing?” Derek asks as he settles himself into the seat across from you.

“Fine. Tired, but I think we all are.” You smile, drawing a chuckle from the man.

“You got that right, y/n.”

You nod lazily as you take in his appearance. He tries to hide it, but you can see how tired he is in his eyes and in how his shoulders sag.

“Enjoying the view, sweet girl?”

“Sure,” you scoff with a smile, eyes automatically rolling in their sockets.

Ever since you started at the BAU, you and Derek have had a flirtatious relationship with each other. It started with him throwing flirty comments your way to see you get all flustered and annoyed, but as soon as you started throwing them back, it’s become more of a game to see who could be more flirtatious. So far neither of you have yet to win.

“You know, you scoff and roll your eyes, but I think - no, I know - that you secretly do like me.” He smirks, loving as you shake your head and try to bite back a smile.

“Yeah right, Morgan. If that’s what helps you sleep at night.”

At that, he lets out a hearty laugh which you hate to admit sends butterflies to your stomach. In an attempt to hide just how much he gets to you still, you pull out a book and flip to the page you left off on.

~.~

It’s been nearly an hour and a half since you’ve started reading and Derek hasn’t been able to stop admiring you. He tries not to make it obvious, but he can only pull his attention from you for a few minutes at most.

In all honesty, he didn’t want to stop admiring you. If he could, he be more than happy to just watch you all day, every day.

You’ve only become more sleepy since boarding the plane and reading. Curling yourself up into a small ball, and yawning continuously for the last half hour, It’s impossible for Derek to not find you adorable.

“Derek, I can feel you looking at me.”

He can’t help but smirk as you don’t even look up from your book. You don’t even try and yet you’re stunning.

He’s adored you since the moment you first walked through the BAU doors four years ago. He didn’t realize then that the beautiful woman walking through the doors was going to be his teammate, but it’s been an enjoyable four years ever since.

While the nature of this job may be dark at times, he only needs to look at you to find light. Not only are you unbelievably attractive, kind, and empathetic, but your so brilliant and skilled at so many things - the job in particular. Out of all the reasons he could hate the job, he would always say how great it is as long as he got to work with you.

“Yeah? And?”

“Can you stop?” You question, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“I can, but I’m not sure I want to.”

“And why’s that?”

He smiles, a little chuckle leaving his lips as you finally look up at him.

“You’re really nice to look at. Wouldn’t want to deprive myself of such a beauty,” he winks.

“Oh good god, Derek. You sure are laying it on thick tonight.” You groan, wondering how you found yourself here.

It’s not that you didn’t like his flirting and sweet comments, but you just worried what it all meant at times. He obviously was flirty with Penelope, but it was obvious that they were the best of friends. With you, you couldn’t tell. Maybe it’s because you couldn’t tell what you wanted it to be. Either way, it scared you.

“I’m just telling you the truth, darling.”

You shake your head, trying to hide a smile as he watches you. You don’t need to fall for him. You don’t need to fall for your teammate more than you already have.

It’s easy to find yourself swooning to Derek’s words, and even easier to find yourself falling for him, but you needed to stop it. Being in love with a teammate will only make things difficult, if not ruin things completely.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask, not able to ignore his almost love-sick stare.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re in love or something.”

“Maybe I am.” He shoots back, thoroughly shocking you. It’s hard to keep quiet when you had nearly choked on air.

You try to keep a calm façade, but you’re certain he can read the panic in your eyes.

“Derek...”

“No, I know. I know it’s hard being in love with someone doing this job, even harder when it’s someone on the team, but I can’t help it, y/n.”

You look around the jet to find everyone either sleeping or preoccupied with their own entertainment. You sigh, glad that no one is overhearing this.

“Derek...what do you want me to do?” You sigh, heart sinking as your mind runs a mile a minute.

“Like you said, it’s hard enough being in love with someone while doing this job, let alone that person being someone on the team.”

He sighs, frowning as he falls back into his chair, not really sure what to say. He knew to never share his true feelings with you, but he got so caught up in the back and forth that he couldn’t stop himself from spilling.

“Do you feel the same?”

You look at him, making contact with his beautifully dark eyes. You sigh softly, reading the emotions swirling behind his irises.

“I think so.”

“You think so?”

“Derek, it’s easy to fall for you when you’re you. You’re so physically and mentally strong, you’re unbelievably knowledgeable, you’re talented in so many ways...” You start, watching as he watches you with his full attention.

“You’re funny, and sweet, and so much fun to be around. You’re a natural leader with the charisma to match, and I swear you know how to light up a room without trying. You make people around you feel comforted, and you never break your promises. You’re undeniably amazing...”

“But?” He asks, still watching you.

“But I’ve tried so hard to not let myself fall for you because of the risk it would be, and if you know anything about me, I know awfully well how to put up walls...especially when it comes to my heart.”

“God, I know. You take on everyone else’s pain and sell yourself out to the very last string, but god forbid if anyone try to do the same for you.” He chuckles, shaking his head at the situation.

“I’ve seen you, y/n. I know you’re friends with everyone on this jet right now, but I’ve seen how you don’t let a single one of them help you when you really need it. I suppose that’s one of the things that I came to like about you.”

“What do you mean?”

You watch as he chuckles, shaking his head, before meeting your gaze.

“I love how you’re willing to help everyone else, but I want to be the one to get through to you that you need someone to help you. I want to be that person who helps you when you won’t let anyone else.”

You bite back a smile as you take in his words. Out of everyone, you have always felt the most comfortable asking Derek for help. That doesn’t mean you ever have though.

You have to admit though that it’d be nice knowing someone is on your side and willing to comfort you like you comfort others.

“You’re making me fall for you again, Derek Morgan.” You huff playfully.

“Sweet girl, I’ve already completely fallen. The least I can do now is to catch you.”

You shake your head, trying your hardest not to let that smile break, but it’s impossible when it’s derek.

He smiles himself as he watches you, biting your lip although the smile has already taken over your face. God what he would give to see that smile directed at him every day. Just knowing that he can cause you to smile that sincerely, and that big, has his heart melting.

“I’d love to be with you, Derek, but I think we both know neither of us can step away from the job. We’d have to be able to put our relationship on pause whenever we’re on a case...”

“I know. Trust me I know. I’m more than willing to try it though if you are.”

“Okay then.”

He smiles, watching as a small blush heats up your cheeks, smirking when he gets an idea.

“Y/n y/l/n, when this jet lands, would you give me the honor of taking your pretty face on a date?”

You can’t help but chuckle as you nod. Only Derek would ask you out on a date in the goofiest of tones, but you can't say you mind it. You’ve always liked just how happy he makes you.

“I suppose I will.” You smile, chuckling as he punches the air in excitement before leaning over to kiss your cheek.

“This will be the best decision of your life, I swear it. I love you so much, y/n.”

“I love you too, Derek. More than you probably realize.”

He smiles, placing a kiss to your forehead before scooting into the seat beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You chuckle but can’t stop the smile from gracing your features as you pull your book back up to your face to read, already feeling so much safer - and happier - in derek’s arms.

#JTR23 #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #derek morgan #derek morgan x reader #derek morgan fluff #derek morgan angst

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bts-weverse-trans · 3 years

Photo

201125 Weverse Magazine ‘BE’ Comeback Interview - V

V: “I wish we were back with ARMY, laughing together” BTS BE comeback interview 2020.11.25

How are you doing these days? It’s been a long time since you were able to see your fans. V: I’m not over-stressing about how I can’t meet the fans face to face right now. I just want to see them when it’s safe to meet. I think now, I can wait until then.

As your song says, “Life Goes On.” You decided to keep going on with your life. V: We have to move on. We can’t feel defeated forever. I felt a lot better after making some songs.

Other than working on “Dynamite,” you’ve spent very little time away from home. How do you pass the time when you’re by yourself? V: I really like just spacing out, so I’ll sit in my room doing nothing for hours. I could try putting on a movie, but then I couldn’t concentrate and would just zone out. When that happens, it’s kind of like I’m living without a thought or care in the world. Maybe I should make a song about all of this someday. Probably call it “Spaced.” (laughs) Anyway, these days I’m looking for ways to keep myself happy.

Have you found anything? V: Well, I’m listening to LPs lately. It’s getting to be Christmas season and I love snow, so I bought two or three Christmas LPs to listen to. I’m also listening to old jazz songs by Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. Frank Sinatra is cool, like chilled wine; Sammy Davis Jr. is crazy talented. (laughs)

I guess making “Dynamite” must have been some consolation even when you couldn’t meet fans due to COVID-19. V: We couldn’t put on a concert and couldn’t see ARMY, so we were feeling more and more drained. It seemed like an endless battle. We really wanted to see ARMY feeling better, so we had to get back up on stage and make another album so that together we could beat this thing. I want to be the friend who’s always cheering ARMY on, but there aren’t many ways to make them feel better.

How was the whole “Dynamite” experience? You made it to the top of the Billboard Hot 100 and also had a chance to perform in a variety of different styles. V: Shooting the Tiny Desk Concert was a very natural process, which was nice. But actually, with the situation being what it is, we couldn’t really feel much. The day the news came out was of course thrilling. It was great, actually, all of us calling each other and some of us laughing and others crying: “We haven’t gone down the wrong path after all! Turns out we had a chance—it really was possible!”

You had everyone sitting in the middle, with the set arranged symmetrically around you. V: That was made possible thanks to everyone having their own ideas. There was no overlap between items, which actually allowed us to create a sense of unity by placing all these different props symmetrically. It wasn’t intended to be symmetrical; each member really did choose something unique.

In your room, you included a violin and a photograph. V: That’s a picture I took. I like photos and drawings, but if I had used any art then I would’ve been using that one particular artist’s work, so I thought I’d better use one of my own photos. I ended up choosing the violin because I learned how to play it but also because I enjoy classical and jazz.

It sounds like there were no problems choosing the songs for BE. How did you feel recording your parts on the other members’ songs? V: I like “Dis-ease,” which Hobi hyung wrote, but stylistically it was challenging. It’s really far from my own style so it took a long time to get used to. “Fly to My Room” used to be my favorite song, but it was also the hardest to sing. It was okay at first, until Jimin jumped in.

What about Jimin? V: Because I had to keep up with Jimin, the song went up maybe three keys. I thought I would die. (laughs) It started out as my favorite song, but it was just way too hard to sing.

But why did you have to sing that way? V: Jimin said he was sorry, that he couldn’t go any lower. (laughs) When I first heard the demo version, the key was perfect for me, so I thought it would sound great and I should definitely do it. But then Jimin said he wanted to do it too, so I said, “Great, let’s do it together.” Turns out we went up three keys. So I said, “Hey, what’s the deal? Should I just give up?” But, well, somehow it all worked out in the end. It was a happy ending. (laughs)

Yes, it feels like the chorus never ends. The production style is very unique. I like how the emotion is carried through the whole way. V: I agree, but it’s so long. The chorus turned out crazy, like I was kind of beating the melody into people’s ears. (laughs) The chorus is good, but the whole song’s melody is really catchy. Whenever I heard the beat, I was totally into it. The way the vocals pick up on the beat and the melody was so original and fun, I just had to do it.

What instructions did you give to the other members when they were singing on your song, “Blue & Grey”? V: I didn’t really have to give them instructions much. I told them it would be nice if they could think of all their problems and then try healing those wounds with their voices, since if they focus on those emotions, there’ll be more feeling in the song. They all did a good job expressing the emotions I wasn’t able to.

It seems like you intended “Blue & Grey” to be a melancholy song. I heard you had originally planned to put it on your mixtape. V: I wrote “Blue & Grey” when I was at my lowest point, when I was actually asking whether I could keep going with my work or not. Even the fun parts of work became a chore, and my whole life felt aimless. “Where do I go from here? I can’t even see the end of the tunnel.” Those kinds of thoughts hit me hard.

Was there a reason for that? V: It was when work was a major challenge. When I’m happy, I want to work, and when I’m happy I can put on a smile and see the fans, but there was just so much work to do. I’m an easygoing, you know, laid-back person, but I was stretched too thin and I was starting to sputter. What I mean is, I was having a really tough time, and thinking, “What’s waiting for me at the end? It’s important to be successful, but I’m also trying to be happy, so how come I’m not happy right now?” That’s when I started to write “Blue & Grey.”

So writing the song was sort of your way of bringing yourself some peace of mind. V: There was a time I was going through something like this. I was having the toughest time, but I couldn’t keep carrying that feeling around with me. Instead, I could use it as a kind of fertilizer. So I took care of that feeling by constantly writing it down in my notes. I just kept writing everything down, and when finally I felt like I wanted to try writing a song, I did. After the song was finished, I felt a sense of accomplishment, and that’s how I was able to let go of “Blue & Grey.” That was one way I wanted to try getting over my problem.

The songs you make or sing solo on all have similar images: night; loneliness; snow. V: I like nighttime and the late-night air, and when it snows, too. I liked those things since way back when, but lately I feel things like snow and the night air keep me alive. They may just be another part of normal life to other people, but to me, they represent very special moments.

That makes me think of the ending from “Blue & Grey”: “After secretly sending my words up into the air / Now I fall asleep at dawn.” V: I don’t really sleep well. I toss and turn and get caught up in a lot of thoughts. Even when I turn out all the lights, I can see everything clearly. I close my eyes, but all my thoughts spread wide open. Then I’m sleepy at work, and staring off into space when I’m alone, with bags under my eyes, but if I want to avoid that then I really have to sleep. Except, with the way I am, it doesn’t allow for it. I wrote about that in the first and second verses; a feeling like, “When I’m stuck thinking like this, everything is grey, and I’m all blue.” I wrote these feelings out as a song, and now that I’m thinking about it again, I’m actually over it. I feel a lot lighter. I sent my words out into the air, and now I fall asleep at dawn. You’re supposed to sleep at night, but I’m sleeping in the morning again. So I say “good night,” but it’s not actually a good night. “I pass out because I’m exhausted” kind of thing. It’s the emotions I felt in those moments that I wanted to express.

What do you hope hearing about that feeling will do for listeners? V: Rather than just some stranger telling them to cheer up, I think it’s better to say something like, “You seem depressed lately,” or, “Seems like these days it’s tough for you to perk up.” “Blue & Grey” is the same: “You’re depressed lately? Me too. We’re in the same boat. Wanna talk about how you’re feeling? You wanna feel better, right? I know, but sometimes it feels like you’re being washed away by a whirlpool of stress.” I want the listeners to hear me saying that to them.

It’s important to express your emotions right away when they’re so overwhelming. V: Yes. I usually write a lot of songs when I’m feeling emotional, but these days I have so many different things to do that I can’t really write anything. I tried to write something before when I had a little time, but nothing came out because the feelings I had were already gone. So I tell myself, “You gotta write a lot when you’ve got the feels!” (laughs) And then I open my notes app and come back to old notes, like, “Ah, so that’s how I was feeling back then? I see. Well, that’s how I used to be, I guess.” So I tried to write “Blue & Grey” quickly, as soon as a big feeling came on.

Then it’s important to revisit those feelings when you’re producing a song or choosing which songs to release? V: If you can’t bring the feeling back, you can’t make the song, either. I release a song if I feel it expresses who I was and how I felt at the time when I wrote it. Even if we record it perfectly, if the result sounds artificial, I would rather release another, more honest sounding song instead, even if it’s not perfect.

Are those the kinds of songs you selected for your mixtape? V: Um … I don’t know. This is my first mixtape, you know, so I feel a ton of pressure about it. I’m thinking all the time about what kind of album I should make so that I can feel satisfied with it. The title track is the title track, but everyone also says to just leave it as it is, but I keep getting the urge to keep putting in more and more.

You usually write and choose songs based on your emotions. Maybe the pressure to make your first mixtape comes from you having a hard time with that. V: I think it still has a long way to go. Maybe it’s because it’s my first mixtape, but it’s so hard. And I feel like it’s a little lazy. People tell me just to put it out and see how it does, but I’d rather know what needs to be fixed before I release it. I also don’t want the title track to be depressing. I want it to be positive and help people beat those depressed feelings. But it’s not easy.

That sounds a lot like what the members conveyed with “Life Goes On.” V: I think we showed the current situation in a very straightforward and honest way. We’re still going, going, going. And the going is tough. But it doesn’t end here. I wish we were back with ARMY, laughing together. I hope we’ll all be happy in the future and keep on doing our own best, cherishing our hope for our happy future.

Trans © Weverse

#bangtan #taehyung #weverse magazine #comeback interview #201125 #2020 #be album

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fykimtaehyung · 3 years

Text

V: “I wish we were back with ARMY, laughing together”

During V’s photo shoot, he’s wearing a different expression in every photo on the monitor. They create a tension and an anticipation because we have no way of knowing what he might do even one second later. But the result is cool from start to finish. It’s V. How are you doing these days? It’s been a long time since you were able to see your fans. V: I’m not over-stressing about how I can’t meet the fans face to face right now. I just want to see them when it’s safe to meet. I think now, I can wait until then. As your song says, “Life Goes On.” You decided to keep going on with your life. V: We have to move on. We can’t feel defeated forever. I felt a lot better after making some songs. Other than working on “Dynamite,” you’ve spent very little time away from home. How do you pass the time when you’re by yourself? V: I really like just spacing out, so I’ll sit in my room doing nothing for hours. I could try putting on a movie, but then I couldn’t concentrate and would just zone out. When that happens, it’s kind of like I’m living without a thought or care in the world. Maybe I should make a song about all of this someday. Probably call it “Spaced.” (laughs) Anyway, these days I’m looking for ways to keep myself happy. Have you found anything? V: Well, I’m listening to LPs lately. It’s getting to be Christmas season and I love snow, so I bought two or three Christmas LPs to listen to. I’m also listening to old jazz songs by Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. Frank Sinatra is cool, like chilled wine; Sammy Davis Jr. is crazy talented. (laughs)

So that’s the type of performer you find cool. V: Those two were also a big inspiration to me while we were working on “Dynamite.” Sinatra has all this jazzy body language, but he also threw some disco in there. And I imagined how Sammy Davis Jr. might dance if there were a mic on stage and he had to dance around it. They were a lot of help when I was finding a way to be upbeat and cool at the same time in “Dynamite.” I guess making “Dynamite” must have been some consolation even when you couldn’t meet fans due to COVID-19. V: We couldn’t put on a concert and couldn’t see ARMY, so we were feeling more and more drained. It seemed like an endless battle. We really wanted to see ARMY feeling better, so we had to get back up on stage and make another album so that together we could beat this thing. I want to be the friend who’s always cheering ARMY on, but there aren’t many ways to make them feel better. How was the whole “Dynamite” experience? You made it to the top of the Billboard Hot 100 and also had a chance to perform in a variety of different styles. V: Shooting the Tiny Desk Concert was a very natural process, which was nice. But actually, with the situation being what it is, we couldn’t really feel much. The day the news came out was of course thrilling. It was great, actually, all of us calling each other and some of us laughing and others crying: “We haven’t gone down the wrong path after all! Turns out we had a chance—it really was possible!”

While you were performing in “Dynamite,” you were also the visual director for BE. I’m sure you were unimaginably busy taking photos, but were you able to communicate well with the other members? V: We communicated smoothly, and I listened to all of their concept ideas and I organized everything around that. If we tried something too natural, it wouldn’t be conceptual enough, so we did our best to strike a balance. You had everyone sitting in the middle, with the set arranged symmetrically around you. V: That was made possible thanks to everyone having their own ideas. There was no overlap between items, which actually allowed us to create a sense of unity by placing all these different props symmetrically. It wasn’t intended to be symmetrical; each member really did choose something unique. In your room, you included a violin and a photograph. V: That’s a picture I took. I like photos and drawings, but if I had used any art then I would’ve been using that one particular artist’s work, so I thought I’d better use one of my own photos. I ended up choosing the violin because I learned how to play it but also because I enjoy classical and jazz.

So how do you feel it turned out? V: I made it, so naturally I like it. (laughs) Part of me thinks I should’ve tried something more conceptual. BE was supposed to give off sort of a magazine or poster feel since we didn’t shoot many of those, but it ended up having more of a natural feel to it. But I did think that the next time we try to make a photoshoot conceptual we should move away from that natural look a bit. The group explained their ideas clearly and they were simple enough to do, so I think it all went really smoothly. It sounds like there were no problems choosing the songs for BE. How did you feel recording your parts on the other members’ songs? V: I like “Dis-ease,” which Hobi wrote, but stylistically it was challenging. It’s really far from my own style so it took a long time to get used to. “Fly to My Room” used to be my favorite song, but it was also the hardest to sing. It was okay at first, until Jimin jumped in. What about Jimin? V: Because I had to keep up with Jimin, the song went up maybe three keys. I thought I would die. (laughs) It started out as my favorite song, but it was just way too hard to sing. But why did you have to sing that way? V: Jimin said he was sorry, that he couldn’t go any lower. (laughs) When I first heard the demo version, the key was perfect for me, so I thought it would sound great and I should definitely do it. But then Jimin said he wanted to do it too, so I said, “Great, let’s do it together.” Turns out we went up three keys. So I said, “Hey, what’s the deal? Should I just give up?” But, well, somehow it all worked out in the end. It was a happy ending. (laughs)

People might be able to hear that part better because it’s so much higher. (laughs) The tone of your combined voices and the way they contrast is really impressive. V: Yes, but all that aside, it was quite the struggle. (laughs) And the chorus is really long. I think it repeats, what, four times? Yes, it feels like the chorus never ends. The production style is very unique. I like how the emotion is carried through the whole way. V: I agree, but it’s so long. The chorus turned out crazy, like I was kind of beating the melody into people’s ears. (laughs) The chorus is good, but the whole song’s melody is really catchy. Whenever I heard the beat, I was totally into it. The way the vocals pick up on the beat and the melody was so original and fun, I just had to do it.

#201125 #taehyung #v #bts #bangtan #t: interview #sorry i split it i thought the initial part was rly important to highlight

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supernatural-jackles · 4 years

Text

The Man on the Side of the Road - Part 9

Title: The Man on the Side of the Road - Part 9

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 4,650

Warnings: Bit of Angst, Lots of Fluff, Mentions of Suicide and Suicidal Thoughts, Self Hate, Depression, Nudity, Flufffffff

Summary: Driving down the road, going well over the speed limit. You come across a man walking in the opposite direction with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. His head cast down as he walked. Your gut instinct is telling you to check on this man, no matter what your parents told you growing up. Little did you know just how much this would change your life.

The Man on the Side of the Road - Masterlist

Square Filled: Skinny Dipping for @spnkinkbingo

A/N: This is one of my favourite parts! I really hope y’all enjoy it! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Happy reading!

“Hiya Sammy.”

“W-what are you doing here, Dean?” he questioned, a half smile creeping up on his cheeks. He was happy to see his older brother. Sam took a step forward, pulling his older brother into a hug. It was a little awkward, but the feeling was there and that was all that mattered. The whole thing alone made you happy. All you wanted was for Sam to be happy to see his older brother. You wanted that for Dean.

“Wanted to come see you,” he said softly. “It’s been awhile.”

“Y-yeah,” he nodded. “Come on in.”

Dean motioned for you to enter first, and he followed closely behind you. Sam’s apartment was much like the regular college students were. Books all over, homework open. There was a couch and a tv. It was small, but it felt warm. Homey.

“I don’t exactly have a whole lot of room as you can see,” Sam pointed out. “The couch is too small for two and lumpy as hell.”

“It’s okay. We’re going to stay in town,” Dean informed him. “Sam, this is my best friend, Y/N. Y/N, this is my little brother Sammy.”

“It’s Sam,” he corrected him. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m sure you've heard stories about me.”

“That I have,” you nodded. “It’s really nice to meet you too. Put a face to all the stories.”

“Hey Sam, what’s going - oh,” a female voice called from the hall. A beautiful blonde peaked through the doorway. She was a little taller than you. Small figure, wearing a smurfs shirt with the front cut out a little. She was definitely his girlfriend. There was no doubt about it.

“Jess, this is Dean, my older brother, and his friend Y/N. They came from Lawrence,” he told her. “This is my girlfriend Jess.”

“It’s really nice to meet you guys. Sam’s told me about you, Dean,” she smiled.

“Look, we’re actually in the middle of midterms right now. We’ve got a big one tomorrow that we’ve got to study for. Why don’t you guys come back tomorrow around five and we can catch up. We’ll show you around and grab some dinner.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” you nodded. “We’ve been driving all day and I think we could use some rest, huh Dean?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he smiled.

“If you’re looking for a nice hotel, there is one about ten minutes from here. It’s four stars. Beds are comfortable. If the lady at the front desk is Cindy, tell her you know me and she’ll give you a discount. She’s my mom,” Jess told the two of you.

“Perfect,” you smiled. “Thank you.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Sam half smiled.

You slipped your arm around Dean’s waist as you headed down the stairs and out to the car. You knew this wasn’t the night he was expecting, but he had a chance tomorrow to spend some time with his brother. He could mend the broken pieces and start fresh. In the meantime, you were going to spend the night relaxing and enjoying the little vacation you were on.

You hopped in the car, and drove to the hotel she was talking about. Ten minutes from Stanford, a four star hotel with everything you needed. Thank god you had money saved. It was going to be pricey staying here for a few days. It was all going to be worth it in the end. Quality time with your best friend.

Much to your luck, Cindy was working the front desk and gave you a helpful discount for your stay. You practically got a whole night free which made the entire stay not bad at all. You and Dean were splitting the cost. Dean carried your bag up for you, along with his own, and all the snack food that you packed. By the time you opened the door to the room, it was after ten.

“Looks like we’re sharing again,” Dean chuckled. “At least this bed is bigger and probably a million times more comfortable than that motel.”

“Don’t even complain that you’re sharing,” you pointed at him with a smirk. “Honestly, anything is more comfortable than the motel bed.”

“Including me,” he grinned.

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes. You kneeled down, opening up the fridge. There was some water in there and of course, a couple of sandwiches at a cost.

“We’re going to enjoy this time off.”

“You bet we are” you nodded. “What time does the pool close?”

“According to the little pamphlet, ten. And it is now ten thirty six,” he stated as he took a seat at the end of the bed. His eyes still dancing over the hotel details.

“You wanna go for a swim?” You cocked your eyebrow.

“But I just said it was closed. And we never brought any bathing suits,” he argued, furrowing his brows.

“Exactly why we are going when it’s closed,” you winked.

“Naked? We’re swimming naked? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?” He joked, laughing as he looked up at you.

“Hey, we’re out here to do more than visit your brother aren’t we? We gotta live a little,” you shrugged, heading into the bathroom to grab a couple of towels. “Are you with me or am I swimming naked by myself?”

“Oh I’m in,” he chuckled. “Just kind of shocked that you want to. You don’t strike me as the skinny dipping type.”

“Gotta keep things interesting,” you winked. “You got the room key?”

“In my wallet,” he nodded, getting up off the bed. You headed straight for the door, two towels in hand.

The pool was on the eighth floor. One floor down from yours and Dean’s hotel room. The hallways were close to empty as you moved quickly through them. You didn’t want anyone walking in on either of you. It was risky enough sneaking in. It was really exciting at the same time and there was no one you would rather do this with than Dean. There was no one you trusted more than you did him. This was something you never thought you’d do. You liked this version of yourself.

“It’s locked,” Dean pointed out as he tried to open the door.

“There’s another way,” you wiggled your eyebrows. “There’s always another way. They have to for safety reasons.”

You went around the corner, finding the entrance to the hotel’s gym and pool. Your easy way in. You slipped inside, turning to the right, the direction of the pool. It was all open. Shared change rooms for the gym and the pool. It was easy to cover up if you were to get caught.

“How did you know that you could get in this way?” he asked as you walked out to the pool. The pool was huge. Tons of room to swim around. No windows so you were safe from people seeing you. This was much different from the last time you swam together. This was going to be a lot more fun.

“My aunt Kelly,” you chuckled. “She was a bit out there. One of my mom’s friends had a wedding at a hotel, and she snuck me and her son Jack into the pool late at night. She also knew how to pick locks and hustle pool. I think she grew up somewhere that she needed to know that.”

“So do you know how to pick locks?” he questioned with a smile.

“Uh- I can’t tell you that,” you let out a laugh.

“So you do,” he said in almost shock.

“Depends on the lock,” you confirmed.

You walked over to the edge of the pool, looking in. The pool was deep at this end, and had a hot tub at the other end. Something you and Dean were looking forward to. You could easily climb over the wall and hop in. Truth was, you were a little nervous to swim naked with him. You could just stay in your bra and panties. You knew it was just him and you trusted him more than any one in the world. He thought you were beautiful and he told you regularly that you were. You had always wanted to go skinny dipping. This was you taking a risk. This was you getting out of your comfort zone. This was the start of you moving forward.

“You’re sure about this?” Dean questioned, shoving his hands in his jean pockets. He looked a little nervous himself.

“I am,” you nodded. “I don’t really care if you see me naked, or if you look. Not that much anyway.”

“Same goes for you,” he half smiled.

You grabbed the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head, dropping it to the floor. You then worked on the button of your jeans, pushing them down your legs. Dean had removed his shirt, and was working on his jeans. You tried your hardest not to stare at him, no matter how tempted you were.

Your socks joined the pile, leaving you in your bra and panties. You took a deep breath, reaching behind your back, unhooking your bra, allowing the straps to slide down your shoulders. The material fell to the ground, and your nerves began to spike a little. Your eyes cast downwards as you gripped the waistband of your panties, shoving the last remaining article of clothing down your legs. You were naked in front of him. It was terrifying but at the same time, exhilarating.

You stood tall, trying to gain some confidence. Dean shoved his boxers down his legs. Your eyes cast up, not wanting to look at him naked. Not without permission anyways. It wasn’t going to help your feelings for him if you saw ‘little Dean’. If anything, it was going to make it harder to hide your feelings for him.

“So umm, should we just look at each other and get the most awkward part of this over with?” he chuckled nervously.

“Uh yeah,” you breathed out. “That’s probably the best way to do it. On the count of three?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “One.”

“Two,” you sighed.

“Three,” you said in unison. You glanced over in his direction, seeing every inch of skin on the front of his body. God, he was a fucking sight. He was gorgeous. You had already seen him shirtless, but seeing it all? He was perfect. He was absolutely perfect, and it wasn’t good for your feelings for him at all.

“Crossing the friendship line here,” he swallowed hard. “You’re fucking beautiful.” You felt your cheeks grow warm at his words. Your heart fluttered in your chest. It meant a lot to you to know that he thought that. It was the first time someone had ever said those words to you when looking at you. For the first time in your entire life, you believed them.

“Crossing the friendship line,” you smiled. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

“I’m nothing compared to you, sweetheart,” he winked with a genuine smile playing in his lips. “Ready?”

“Let’s skinny dip,” you called out.

You were the first one in the pool, jumping in with enthusiasm. The water was much warmer than you expected. It was actually really nice to feel after a long day in the car. This was what you were looking for. Dean was in right after you, jumping not far from you, creating a big splash as he did. For a second, you were reminded of the day you swam in your backyard together. You both had come so far from that day. More so, you were so much happier than you were then. You were finally content with the way your life was going now that you were here with Dean.

You swam around for a little while. Just enjoying having the entire pool to yourselves. It was nice to have the room to swim, not that your pool at home was small. It was just different here. There was more risk here. You and Dean talked about how this trip was a fresh start for the two of you and this was definitely a good start for the both of you.

Eventually you gravitated from the pool to the hot tub. There was a lot of room for you to sit, like it was made to fit a big family. Dean joined you not long after you climbed in. The jets did wonders for your sore muscles from sitting in the car the entire day. You needed to invest in a hot tub for your place. He sat across from you, relaxing in the heat of the tub. You smiled, seeing just how content he was. He was actually allowing himself to relax and that was exactly what you wanted for him.

“I’m glad we did this,” you breathed out, leaning against the back on the hot tub, a jet hitting one of your sore spots.

“Me too,” he nodded. “Certainly a first for me.”

“You and me both. Can cross this off my bucket list,” you grinned widely. “How are you doing, Dean?”

“You mean with Sam?” he cocked his eyebrow. “Honestly, I can’t expect him to drop everything for me. I’m just happy he didn’t slam the door in my face. I’m looking forward to having the chance to catch up with him. He looks happier than he did the last time I saw him. He’s doing really good for himself and that’s all I can ask for. For the first time, it feels like my life is moving forward at a steady pace since that day.”

“I know we don’t really talk about that day in gruesome detail. I guess there’s a part of me that avoids talking about it because I don’t want to bring it all back, you know? I don’t want to bring you back to that day before I came into it. But can I ask you about it?” you glanced at him, looking to see if there was an uncomfortable reaction from him.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“What happened?” you whispered.

“It wasn’t the same as yours. I’ll tell you that right now. I was planning it for awhile if I’m being honest with you. I had been planning it for about a month. I uh, I woke up with a pounding headache that morning. I was out late the night before, trying to clear my head. All I could think about was how my Dad died five years ago the next day and about how it was my fault. I was the one that was supposed to pick up the package for my Uncle. It was supposed to be me in that accident. Not him, and I’ve never been able to let that go. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let it go completely. I mean, I saw it happen. I wished it was me. My landlord knocked at my door, and he told me that I had to leave. I was late on my rent for the month. My last job in construction didn’t need me anymore, so I was laid off. I had no money, and I had to pack my bags. I headed to the closest motel and paid with a credit card. I remember sitting on the bed, thinking that it can’t get any better from here. I had absolutely no one to go to. All my friends weren’t my friends. I called Sam and he never answered my call. I remember thinking that there was no one out there that would care if I was here or not. No one was going to miss me, or even notice that I was gone. My Uncle would have said that he predicted it with the way I spiraled. I just felt completely hopeless. I knew that it was time. I had nothing left to live for. I didn’t want to.” he shared. “So I decided right then that I was going to get some flowers, visit their grave and by the end of the night, I’d be gone.”

“Were you scared?” you asked him.

“No,” he shook his head. “The way I saw it, I was going somewhere that I had people that loved me. People that would be happy to see me for the first time. I didn’t get scared until I saw you. Until you pulled over, and came after me. You were the first person to talk to me in three weeks, besides my landlord to kick me out and the lady at the front desk of the motel. I had never felt so alone and that was one of the reasons why I wanted to. I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to stop it all. Then you made me pinky promise not to. I figured you didn’t want a dead body in your house. But you told me that I could stay. You told me about Ketch. You told me you weren’t giving up on me. It was you that I fought for.”

“Who would have thought that we’d be best friends,” you half smiled. “For the record, I’m never giving up on you. I’m never going to let a day go by that I don’t talk to you. I’m never going to let you feel like the world would be a better place without you.”

“I know,” he nodded. “And I hope you know it’s the same the other way around. I’d take a bullet for you any day.”

You were cut off by the sounds of someone trying to unlock the main doors to the pool. You swore your heart was going to beat out of your chest. You had to make a run for it before you got caught.

Dean was out quicker than you were. His longer legs giving him the advantage. He held his hand out for you to take, helping you out quicker so you could grab all of your stuff. The person was banging loudly, trying to get it unlocked quickly, as if he thought someone was in there. You wrapped your towel around yourself first, then grabbed all of your clothes along with your shoes. Thankfully the change room wasn’t far from where you left them. Dean was hot on your tail as you made your way in. Whoever it was had just opened the door, and gotten into the pool area. Your heart was pounding in your chest. You knew you were safer if you were in the change rooms, but that wouldn’t stop whoever it was from coming in.

Dean moved the two of you towards the individual change room stalls. You managed to get the biggest one, both of you getting in, shutting the curtain behind you. Dean inched you back to the wall, away from the curtain just in case.

“Who’s in here?” the gruff voice called out. You swallowed hard. You didn’t want to get kicked out of the hotel. Dean looked at you with wide eyes, unsure of what to do. You had to be quiet. He gave you a look that damn near made you laugh. How could he be so chill about this?

Dean slipped his hands down to your hips. You licked your lips as you positioned yourself more comfortably against the wall. You prayed to god that whoever it was left soon. There was no way you could stand in the corner with a very naked Dean in front of you. It was hard enough not to stare at him now. You just wanted to get your clothes back on and head back to the room for the night. You heard the footsteps growing farther and farther away. It didn’t ease your heart rate in the slightest.

The door shut with a click, meaning he was definitely gone. There was no way he stuck around after he found nothing. After all, this was open for people going to the gym. Maybe he realized that?

“I think he’s gone,” he whispered, looking at you sheepishly. His body never moved from in front of yours. You swallowed hard, glancing up at him. His grip in your hip tightened for a moment.

“Yeah, I think so,” you nodded. Dean’s body pressed closer against yours. You had no idea what was going on, but you certainly weren’t against it. Not in the slightest. Your hands reached for his waist, almost inviting him closer to you. He ducked down, pausing for a minute. You swore your heart was going to pound out of your chest. “Dean.”

His lips grazed over yours in a hesitant kiss that had you melting into him. God, his lips were so soft and sweet. He was holding back, that was for sure. Your heart was fluttering in your chest. Nothing had felt more perfect. You damn near forgot to kiss him back you were so intoxicated. Your hands tugged him against you as your lips moved with his.

Everything felt like it had fallen into place at that moment. You never wanted it to end. Unfortunately for you, the need for air became too much. Your lungs were burning, and as much as you wanted to keep going, you had to stop.

“We should probably get out of here,” you muttered, opening your eyes to look up at him. “It’s the girls change room.”

“You never told me that!” he said in shock.

“You never asked,” you shrugged.

“You know, I had a dream like this once,” he smirked. “Two people, little clothing-”

“Dean, I swear to god,” you giggled. “Get your ass dressed.”

“Fine,” he growled playfully.

It took you a little bit to get dressed. Trying to put clothes on after swimming was one of the hardest things to do, especially in a small space. You were still a little wet, and the towels absorbed close to nothing. You swore, you could feel Dean’s eyes on you as you got dressed and that thought made you smile a little more than it should have. You didn’t want to overthink it as something more than what it was. You were a naked girl a few feet away from him. You couldn’t blame him for looking at you a little longer.

You arrived back at the room ten minutes later. Your heart was still going a mile a minute. Between seeing him naked and kissing him, you were a puddle. He never said anything, and quite frankly, you didn’t want to talk about it right now and ruin the moment that it was.

Dean gave you first shower, and offered to get some clothes out for you to wear while you were in there. It was sweet of him to offer, and it wasn’t like you didn’t trust him with your stuff. Going skinny dipping with him certainly changed something between the two of you. A good change, you thought to yourself.

You rinsed out your hair, getting all the chlorine out of it from the pool. The shower in the hotel room was to die for. The water pressure was amazing and you actually had room to move. It got the job done much quicker than any other hotel shower ever had.

The suds swirled around the drain as you rinsed yourself off. You cut the water off, reaching for the towel on the toilet. That’s when you saw it. The hotel robe. The robe that was supposed to dry you. You were tempted to use it, but then there was the thought of how many people had used it before, and you got creeped out. You knew everything was washed but you couldn’t. You wrapped the towel tightly around yourself, slipping out of the bathroom so Dean could shower.

“Showers yours,” you smiled.

“Thanks,” he smirked, looking at you. “Your pyjamas are on the bed.”

“Thank you.”

Dean headed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. You dried yourself off once more, making sure everywhere was dried before you pulled on your favourite pyjama pants. They had little coffee cups on them. They were your favourite because they were the most comfortable. The perfect amount of stretch and bagginess that you needed for bedtime.

After you were dressed, you walked over to the window, taking in the view from above. Cars were moving below, and the city was still alive at close to midnight. You expected to feel far from home and everything you knew, but you didn’t. Not in the slightest. Here, you didn’t feel like you had to hide. You weren’t going to run into Ketch or Jo at any given second. It was a freeing feeling.

“Okay, that is the best shower I’ve ever had at a hotel,” he admitted, walking out of the bathroom with his towel around his shoulders. He had his sweatpants hanging low on his hips. Not that you noticed of course. Or could you stare openly at him now?

“It is pretty good,” you nodded. “You about ready to head to bed?”

“Yeah,” he said with a nod.

You headed over to the bed, taking the usual side you slept on at home. Usually it was the middle, but you were going to give Dean a bit of space tonight. After all, you had just seen each other naked. Things were a little different. There was a tension in the air that wasn’t there before. Then there was the kiss that neither of you seemed to want to talk about. You didn’t want to be weird, but you didn’t want to read it wrong either.

Dean climbed into the bed next to you, adjusting the covers over himself before shutting off the light. He lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling with his arms over his abdomen. You smiled softly at him, shifting to face him, and to make yourself comfortable. He turned and gave you a half smile, one that made your heart flutter just enough to be noticeable.

“Thanks for skinny dipping with me,” you whispered.

“Thanks for encouraging this trip, Y/N,” he muttered back. “You cuddling tonight?”

“Is that an invitation?” You gasped playfully.

“Get over here,” he let out a chuckle, opening his arms up for you to crawl in. You threw your arm around his waist, tugging in close to him. You rested your head on his chest, right above his heart. “Get some sleep, sweetheart.”

“You too, De. Sweet dreams,” you yawned. You felt a pair of lips press against the crown of your head. They lingered for a few seconds longer than you anticipated.

“Sweet dreams.”

That was what changed. The way he was with you. You were closer than ever, and you knew that there was no turning back to the friendship path. You were far too deep in the more than friends trail that your feelings were growing stronger. It wasn’t even that you saw his entire body, and not to mention, his impressive package, shall you say. It was the conversations you could have with him, and the way you could make each other laugh. It was the trust you had in one another. You didn’t find that with everyone. It really made you wonder if Dean felt the same way towards you. If his lips lingering on the top of your head meant something more than a kiss goodnight. If him kissing you earlier tonight meant that you were the one he had feelings for. Either way, it was something you’d never forget. The whole night was something you’d never forget.

You shifted a little, leaning up, brushing your lips against his stubbly cheek. He melted against your touch this time, almost happy that you showed him the same amount of affection back.

Maybe after this trip, you’d grow enough courage to tell Dean Winchester how you felt about him.

Maybe.

~~~~~~~~~~

Did you like it? What was your favourite part? Share your thoughts with me via reblog, reply, or send me an ask! Your response is what keeps me writing!

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omniscientoranges · 3 years

Text

Set Things Right

Another 15x20 fix-it. Vaguely inspired by the theory I saw that maybe… maybe Dean’s speech to Sam was actually originally written to be 2 different speeches. Who’s to say?

They're standing outside a barn, ready to take it easy and decapitate some vamps.

"Here, man, you'll need this," Dean says, holding out a worn machete to Cas.

It's only been a few weeks since Dean pulled Cas out of the empty. Since they found the ultimate loophole and cut out his grace. Because after all, the empty's in the business of housing angels and demons - not humans. Cas is still getting the hang of it again, the brushing his teeth and needing to eat and needing to sleep and needing to change his clothes more than once every 4 years. Though on days like these, hunts like these, the hardest adjustment for him is that he can't just press his fingertips to whatever monster of the day it is and be done with it. He takes the machete Dean offers him, and looks away awkwardly when his fingers brush Dean's.

They still hadn't talked about it. What Cas had said, what Dean didn't. The first day it was because Cas was knocked out cold from the shock of coming back from the dead - completely reasonable reason. The next few days it was because he needed to recover, which Dean also saw as another completely reasonable reason not to say anything. Don't wanna lay too much on the guy all at once, let him get his bearings first. There's plenty of time. For the next several days, that bled into a next few weeks, Dean had a harder and harder time finding completely reasonable reasons. But still, they hadn't talked.

Dean swallows, "Right, well, let's get to it."

---+---

There's a massive bar piercing between Dean's shoulder blades, because of course there is. Happy ending my ass, Dean thinks hysterically, is this really how I'm gonna go?

"I'll go get the first aid kit," Sam runs out of the barn. Cas moves to follow before-

"Cas, wait. Wait," Cas meets Dean's eyes, and Cas feels like he's the one run through for a second. Looking at Dean, he's scared. He's so scared. Dean's spent his whole life pretending he wasn't, but all the walls are down now - and he's terrified, "Stay. Don't leave me."

Cas keeps his eyes locked with Dean's like he's done a million times before, and he realizes he's scared too. "Okay," he nods, "Okay, I'll stay."

"Could you come here, man."

Cas takes a few hesitant steps forward.

"Come on, come here," Dean holds his hand up a bit, and when Cas steps close enough he lays it over his heart. The same place I stabbed him when we first met. Ironic, looking back. "There he is, hey, there he is."

"You're going to be okay, Dean." Cas says, with such certainty that it's like he's trying to convince the universe of it. Like he's trying to force it to be an inarguable truth. Dean Winchester will be okay.

"So are you."

Cas shakes his head, face scrunching up and tears welling over his eyes, "Don't- don't say that."

"I'm so proud of you, you know that? You know, you said you changed for me, but you changed for you, Cas. Because it was the right thing to do. You always do the right thing, or-" and Dean cuts himself off with a shaky laugh, "you try to. And that's- that's the part that matters. You try."

"I can't heal you," Cas chokes out, "the one time, the one time you really need it, and I'm useless."

"No." Dean says firmly, he needs Cas to hear this, because it's feeling like it might be the last chance he gets to say it. "No, hey, you're not useless, Cas. And we don't keep you around- I don't keep you around to be useful anyways. I want you around because I want to be around you."

"But if I could-"

"But you can't. And that's okay. It's okay, Cas."

Cas shakes his head harder, refuses to take this, refuses to accept it. "Don't leave me, Dean. Please, I can't do this without you. Don't make me do this without you," and Dean moves his hand to wipe away the tears that track down Cas' face.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm always gonna be with you, got it? Always."

Cas lets out a quiet sob, and moves forward to press his forehead to Dean's, "Please, please, Dean. Please don't do this. Don't do this to me. We're so close, so close to a normal life, don't do this now."

"It was always gonna be like this."

"No. We won, Dean. We beat this ending. It shouldn't happen like this."

"Some things you can't outrun. And that's okay, sometimes you gotta know when to quit."

Cas sobs louder, can't stop himself. Dean sees his face turn red, and he wonders, fleetingly, if Cas has ever cried like this before.

Cas takes a deep breath out, "I love you, Dean."

Dean nods his head slightly, last chance, "I love you too, Cas."

It's unclear who moves first, how it happens, but in a moment they're pressing their lips together. It's a soft thing, anything more and they might break under the weight of it. The grief that this is all they'll get. All they were allowed to get.

They pull apart, only a few centimeters, only enough space to take a breath in. Cas feels it. He feels Dean start to slip away. Deep in his chest, where his soul would sit if he had it, and for a moment he thinks he must have one. Must have grown one for this moment, just to feel it hold onto Dean's. Cas blinks hard at the tears burning in his eyes to push them away, he wants to take it all in. He doesn't want to miss a second of looking at Dean, not if these are the last ones he'll get.

"Don't do this, Dean, please don't do this- please don't go."

"It's okay, it's okay, Cas. I'm right here. I'm here." And at that Dean's head drops forward, lands softly on Cas' shoulder. He doesn't have to check Dean's pulse to know.

"No," Cas wraps one arm around Dean's waist and one around the back of his neck, pulling him in. "No, please, please don't do this. God, please, please don't." And he buries his face into Dean's hair, grasping at him, like if he pulls hard enough he can put him back together like he did before. "God, please don't."

Cas doesn't hear it in his heartbreak, but it's there. A brief flap of wings.

"Cas?" Jack asks, laying a hand on Cas' shoulder.

Cas lifts his head and turns, "Jack! What, what are you-"

Before Cas can finish he watches Jack reach his hand around Dean's back and pull him forward, putting two fingers to Dean's forehead at the same time.

It's sudden. It's the most beautiful sound Cas has ever heard.

Dean takes a breath.

He breathes in hard, panting, "holy- holy shit. What-" and Dean's eyes fall on Jack, "Jack?"

"Hi, Dean," Jack smiles, still looking every bit the kid that he is, despite the godliness.

Dean smiles back, and shakes his head in disbelief. "Thought you were taking the hands-off approach?"

"The Winchesters always get an exception," Jack asserts. There's that inarguable fact, Dean Winchester will be okay.

Dean reaches his hand up and pats Jack on the cheek, "Thanks, kid."

"Dean," Cas whispers, and takes Dean's face in his hands. Dean lets his arm fall away from Jack and drops it around Cas' hip.

"Hey, Cas. Guess you can't get rid of me that easy, huh?"

Cas answers with a kiss, one more firm than the last one they'd had, but free. With the knowledge they've got a lot more where that came from.

Sam bursts through the barn doors, "Okay, I'm back. I got the-" he looks up to take in the scene around him, eyes finally landing on Jack. "Jack, what-"

Jack turns to Sam with that same calm smile on his face, "Just here to set something right."

Sam looks at Jack in awe and slowly steps towards Dean. Timidly raises his hand up to grip his shoulder, moving like he's afraid it'll just pass right through. When it doesn't, he asks, "Dean, hey, you okay?"

Dean lifts his head up with an easy smile, "Just fine, Sammy."

Sam huffs out a small laugh in return.

Jack breaks the moment then, "Well, I should go."

Cas finally turns his eyes away from Dean, "No, Jack, stay," he says, both a question and an insistence, "Surely you can't be that busy?"

"I-" Jack pauses, looking around at everyone in front of him. Looking at his family. "I guess I can stay for a little while."

Dean claps Jack on the back, "Great, because I know the best burger joint about 15 miles from here, and you've earned one," Dean says, with his patented goofy smile plastered on his face, pointing a finger at Jack.

"I think we've all earned one," Jack replies.

"Yeah, kid, I think you're right."

With that, the Winchesters start to walk out of the barn. Sam falls in step next to Jack, starting up a conversation about what could only be assumed to be either cosmic god stuff or the latest episode of Riverdale (that Sam 100% did not start watching after Jack left. 100% did not). As can be expected of them, Dean and Cas gravitate next to each other like they were built to walk shoulder to shoulder. Dean elbows Cas softly in the ribs and shoots him a smile. Cas smiles back, and threads his fingers through Dean's.

The burgers actually weren't half bad.

#destiel #deancas #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic #destiel ficlet #deancas ficlet #spn fanfic #spn 15x20 #please suspend your disbelief as to how long it took Sam to grab the first aid kit #gina.spn #gina.writing #&fic

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cool-fallen-angel · 4 years

Photo

Day 14: Fun & Games

Medium: Digital

So I thought I’d do a drawing for a fanfic I wrote for this one, where Dean and Cas wake up handcuffed to each other in bed after a night of drinking with no memory of what happpened ;) The drawing I made today, the fanfic was wrote quite a while ago

Also small warning for ns*w at the end of the fanfic

@winchester-reload

> Ao3 link <

Dean woke up to a killer headache and overly dry mouth, groaning a little as he rubbed a hand over his face. He stopped when he realized there was a weight on his chest, looking down to see Cas lying on him, curled up close. “Oh fuck.” He murmured, trying to remember how the hell that happened. They were all drinking last night, he knew that much, but the rest is too much of a haze. He couldn’t remember anything. Certainly not this.

After a moment of shocked contemplation Dean tried to sit up a bit while not disturbing the ex angel, starting to regret how much he had to drink with the size of this hangover. Despite his carefulness Castiel started to stir awake, making a sound of discontentment and pulling away from Dean a little. His own eyes went wide when they opened to see the shirtless hunter by his side in the bed.

“D-Dean? What are you—w-why are we—?” He stuttered, struggling with the fact that he was in Dean's room in Dean's bed and that they were both—wait. They were both naked. He'd been pressed up against Dean Winchester’s naked body. He flushed when he realized that, putting some proper distance between them as he sat up and pulled the sheets closer to his body.

“Dean, what happened last night?” He asked, not remembering anything either. All he knew right now was that he'd woken up with a huge hangover in his best friend’s bed, naked, with no recollection of how he got there. Dean gave no good answer either, replying, “I don’t know, man. I’m just as freaked as you are!”

The hunter took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. “Look, alright, lets just get dressed, go grab a coffee and some damn painkillers and try to figure this out together. And then maybe forget this ever happened and never speak of it again.” He proposed, running a hand through his hair before moving to swing his legs over the edge of the bed and get up. Before he could though, he realized there was a weight around his wrist, looking down to see fucking handcuffs chaining his right hand to Cas' left. “What the hell? Why—? What the hell!” He exclaimed, meeting Cas' confused expression with his now pissed off one.

“Well, that makes things harder.” Cas stated dryly, pissing Dean off more. “You think?” He replied in annoyance, giving his wrist a slight yank and groaning again. “lets get some pants on and find the damn keys.” He said, silently asking Cas to come his way with a head nod and waiting for him to scoot closer before he tried to stand again.

They had to take turns getting their underwear on, Dean picking out some sweats and Cas picking up the jeans he’d worn the night before. They both awkwardly gave each other a bit of privacy, looking away and trying not to let curiosity take hold of them as they each covered their modesty. They had to quite embarrassedly get cleaned up too, what with the dried come on their stomachs and chests making it very clear what they did with each other. Not that it wasn’t already pretty obvious. Either way they tried to ignore the facts and just get through the awkward encounter, searching around for the keys to the handcuffs. Once they were found Dean gladly took them off, rubbing his wrist a little before getting a shirt on. “Come on, lets head to the kitchen.” Dean grumbled once Cas got a shirt on too, leaving the room with him.

16 hours ago

“Alright! Beer run is complete and we have everything we need to get this party started!” Dean exclaimed as he walked down the stairs with bags in tow. Sam and Cas were sitting on the couch in front of the tv they’d set up a while back. Dean passed them each a beer, unpacking everything else he’d bought at the same time. “I also got us some vodka shots and other assorted drinks, and snacks of course.” He explained happily, plopping down beside Cas with a smile.

“So, this’ll be your first proper time getting hammered as a human. Excited?” Dean asked Cas, taking a swig of beer.

“I don’t plan on getting that drunk, but yes, I suppose so.” He replied, taking a small sip himself.

“Come on, man, it's game night! Get in the partying spirit!” Dean encouraged, nudging his arm playfully. Cas had been without his grace and wings for a few months now, slowly getting used to the trials of being human. With some help, of course. Dean especially had been more then happy to help the poor guy, there was a lot of stuff to get used to.

Sam chuckled a little, giving Cas a sympathetic smile. “Don't worry, it’ll be fun. I'll make sure he doesn’t go too crazy.” He said, looking at Dean pointedly. The elder hunter scoffed, taking another swig. “Whatever, grandma. It’s gonna be an awesome night.”

Dean and Cas walked into the kitchen with their heads down low, heading for the coffee machine first. Sam was already there reading a newspaper, smiling far too brightly when he saw the pair enter. “Hey guys, how'd you sleep?” He asked with a knowing expression, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Just peachy.” Dean grumbled, taking a couple painkillers with Cas.

“So, last night, huh? Pretty fun.” Sam remarked, earning an annoyed scowl from both Cas and Dean. “What’s up with you? How come you’re not hungover?” Dean asked, sitting down at the table with his friend.

“Oh, I didn’t drink nearly as much as you guys did. Wait, you do remember how last night went, don’t you?” Sam asked, smiling wider when the looks each of them gave showed the answer to that question. “Oh my god, you don’t remember!” He chuckled, before getting an annoyed punch on the arm.

“No, we don’t. Care to enlighten us?” Dean asked with a scowl, finally getting his younger brother to stop with the teasing.

“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you what happened. It’s pretty embarrassing though.” He smiled, taking a sip of coffee. Castiel was more worried then Dean, given how it was his first time drinking that much as a human. He wasn’t sure what kind of drunk he was, he hoped he didn’t do anything too embarrassing.

Dean just hoped his and Cas' friendship wouldn’t be ruined after whatever happened last night. He hoped he didn’t spill his feeling in his drunken state. The feelings he kept bottled up deep down for fear of rejection.

Whatever his thoughts, last night was about to be explained to them and they should hopefully start to remember.

Sam started with the vodka shots.

13 hours ago

Cas sat back after his turn taking the shots, giggling a little and smiling triumphantly. He was two beers and 10 shots in and was already wasted. Sam had been taking it slow and Dean was trying his hardest to catch up to Cas' level of drunkenness. He needed much more with his high tolerance, but he had started feeling it after a while. They'd played a few normal games and a few drinking games, and now they were at the point where they were nicely tipsy.

“Heyy, good job buddy!” Dean praised, patting Cas on the shoulder. It hasn’t taken long for them to start sitting closer and closer, taking everything opportunity for physically contact.

“Thank you, Dean. You--you've been a v'ry good teacher.” Cas slurred with a happy smile. “And might I say, you have v'ry pretty eyes too. V'ry beau'iful.” He added flirtatiously, staring at him for the tenth time that night. Dean blushed a little, smiling back. “Oh, thank you. You’re pretty too.” He replied, staring back with his flushed, beautifully freckled face.

Sam cleared his throat for the sixth time that night after a few seconds of silence, getting Dean's attention.

“Alright, new game! Truth or dare.” Exclaimed the elder hunter, taking another shot and pointing at Sam. “You pick first, Sammy.”

Sam snorted a little, humouring him for now. “Okay. Dean, truth or dare?”

“Dare!”

“Alright, hotshot, I dare you to sing along to a song of my choosing.” He smirked, already getting his phone out to choose one.

“Pshh, easy. I have an amazing singing voice.” Dean replied confidently, waiting until he heard ‘Shake It Off' by Taylor Swift Start playing. He shrugged a little, owning it completely. It got some chuckles out of Sam and Cas, but he stuck with it until the end.

“Ha, nailed it. Cas, truth or dare?” Dean asked afterwards, taking another shot.

“Mhm, truth.”

“Since becoming human, have you jerked off yet?”

“Dude!” Sam objected, not really wanting the answer to that question.

“What? ‘M curious.” Dean defended, looking at Cas expectantly.

The ex-angel blushed, licking his lips a little before answering. “Yes. I have.”

“Dude, really? What about masturba’ing bein' a sin and all?”

Cas shrugged a little, still blushing. “’M human now. I wanted to ‘mbrace all aspects of it.”

“Well, good on you! ‘S fun, right?”

“Alright, that’s enough of that. Cas?” Sam interrupted, giving his friend a nod.

“O-Oh, okay. Sam, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Okay, umm, I dare you to...” He started, trying to think of something for a moment. “Take five shots?”

Sam smiled and nodded, pouring five out as Dean made a small sound of discontent. “Nice try, bud. Next time though, give ‘im somethin' harder.”

Sam downed the shots easily, looking at Cas this time. “Cas, true or dare?”

“Dare.” He replied this time, trying to look confident as Dean has been.

“Alright, I dare you to...kiss Dean.” He proposed playfully.

Cas blushed at that, feeling butterflies form in his stomach. “O-Oh, okay. I can...do that.” He replied, turning to the guy he’d been in love with the past six or so years to kiss him on the lips, something he'd fantasised about many times. Dean looked just as nervous as Cas felt, and yet just as eager. He was trying not to show it though, giving Sam a scowl before he looked back at Cas.

Cas made the first move since it was his dare, cautiously pressing his lips against Dean's. He intended to just make it last a second, just a quick peck so he didn’t overstep any boundaries, but when Dean didn’t pull away he kept going. He was amazed and delighted that the hunter seemed to actually be enjoying it, taking the opportunity to kiss him just a little harder. When he heard a tiny moan of surprise come from the hunter he felt all kinds of different emotions run though him. Giddiness, excitement, a tiny hint of arousal...

When they did eventually pull away it was only by a few inches, looking at each other with the same kind of conflicted, surprised and confused expressions. They both wanted to keep going, only hesitating a bit in their drunken states. They each had small, nagging worries in the back of their heads about the implications of crossing this line, but right now who cared? It felt so good. They each closed the distance between them, both much more eager this time. They found themselves sitting closer and cautiously touching more, feeling as though there were sparks of electricity passing between them. Dean cupped Cas' cheek gently and Cas slid a hand around Dean's waist, clutching at his shirt.

Sam had only watched for about 3.4 seconds before looking away awkwardly, not exactly surprised by this result but still feeling a bit uncomfortable. And even more like a third wheel then usual. “Alright guys, well, you have fun, I’m going to bed now.” He said loud enough to get their attention, grabbing another beer to take with him.

Dean pulled away with a flushed face, licking his lips as he carried on staring at Cas. “Okay...’night Sam...” He murmured distractedly, swallowing his nerves. He distantly heard his brother say goodnight to Cas as well before hastily heading to his bedroom, leaving them alone together.

Sam sipped his coffee once he finished with his explanation, still smiling as he looked at the pair. Dean and Cas both looked a bit uncomfortable, having started to recall how they’d acted. How much they’d flirted with each other throughout the evening. How it had felt to kiss. What happened after Sam had gone to bed.

“Remember now?” Sam asked with a smirk, taking another sip of coffee.

“Yes, and now you are going to never speak of it again.” Dean replied, scowling at his brother. Sam put his hands up in defence, even though he had every intention of teasing his brother about this in the future.

“I’m assuming you two have a lot to talk about so I’ll leave you to it now.” He said, taking his empty mug to the sink before leaving the pair to themselves once again. An awkward silence fell upon the kitchen, only interrupted a moment later by Dean clearing his throat.

“So, you remember last night now?” He asked, staring at his coffee.

“Yes. Do you?”

“Yeah.”

They fell silent again before Cas worked up the courage to continue. “Do you...regret it?” He asked hesitantly. Dean finally glanced at Cas, shaking his head a little.

“No. I don’t.”

Castiel let out a small sigh of relief. So Dean really did feel the same way. Does that mean they have a future together then?

“So, where do we go from here?” The ex-angel asked as he looked up at Dean.

Dean shrugged and scooted a little closer, taking a sip of his coffee. “We wing it, I guess. See where it goes.”

Cas snorted. “How romantic.”

Dean scowled a little, shoving his arm playfully. “What would you say?”

“We go on a date, perhaps? That’s what people do when they...have feelings for one another, right?”

Dean softened his gaze and smiled a little, hesitantly pressing a kiss to Cas' cheek. “That works for me.” He replied, smiling wider at the blush that started to colour Cas' cheeks.

“Good talk. Now, can we agree to forget the embarrassing parts and just remember the fun bits from last night?” Dean asked. Cas nodded in agreement, thinking about the end of the night with a deeper blush. “It's a shame we were so drunk for our first time doing...you know. That.” He added a little sadly.

Dean nodded a little sympathetically. It had been freaking great, but not exactly meaningful. It wasn’t loving, more rushed and heated. He had wanted Cas' first time to be more special.

“Well...next time'll be nicer. Slower. If you want that, that is?” Dean asked gently.

Cas smiled at the proposal. “I-I'd like that. Thank you.” Of course, he did hope for steamy nights as well as the slow love making. He wanted to experience everything with Dean. He didn’t realize how much he'd been missing all his life.

12 hours ago

“S-So, uh, that was—” Dean started, before Cas interrupted him with another eager kiss. He melted into it, moaning as he kissed him deeper. He found himself slipping a hand under Cas' shirt, feeling him shiver under his touches. “Alright, okay, we're doin' this. Come on, follow me.” Dean said eagerly once they pulled away to breathe, taking Cas' hand and dragging him towards his bedroom.

Castiel happily followed, heart pounding in excitement. It took a little longer then they would have liked given how drunk they were, but they eventually made it. Dean shut the door by pressing Cas up against it, eagerly kissing him again with a satisfied moan. Cas opened his mouth to Dean, moaning loudly at the feeling of his tongue entering it. He couldn’t get enough, couldn’t get Dean close enough. One thing he knew was that there were too many clothes in between them, so he hastily started taking off his shirt along with Dean's too.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long. I-I didn’t think you--you—” Cas interrupted him with another heated kiss.

“Stop talking. More kissing.” Castiel ordered, pressing his lips down Dean' throat as he explored his body with his hands.

“Geez, bossy much?” Dean chuckled, taking Cas' hand after a moment to drag him to the bed. They both fell down on the memory foam, grinding and writhing, kissing and touching, moaning and cursing. Everything was so hot and primal, it felt great.

“Hey, Cas, what if we add a lil' bit of spiciness to this?” Dean suggested after a moment, answering the ex-angel's frown of confusion by grabbing a pair of handcuffs out of his side table and dangling them in front of him.

“Oh, is this a BSD thing? I’ve heard about that.” Cas replied, making Dean chuckle a little.

“Wh--it's called BDSM, and yes. ‘S just for a bit more fun, right?”

Castiel considered it a moment before smiling and grabbing them off Dean. He clipped the cuffs around Dean’s wrist before attaching the other side to his own wrist and throwing the key across the room.

“Now what?” Cas asked, eager to continue. Dean just laughed, gently resting his forehead against Cas' shoulder.

“You idiot, you're s'pposed to clip it ‘round the bed frame, not attach us together. Well, whatever. We can work with this.” He murmured, kissing him again as he straddled his hips. He laced their fingers together next to Cas' head and rolled his hips down slow, earning a loud moan from the man beneath him.

He kept going like that for a while, relishing in the feeling of their cocks rubbing together. When he wanted more he moved his free hand down to stroke them together, feeling Cas' hand squeeze his shoulder as he sucked a dark mark on his neck. He didn’t keep a slow pace for long, too eager and aroused for that. No, he wanted it fast and messy, loving the unabashed moans of pleasure coming from Cas.

“Fuck, you’re so hot. ‘M so close already.” Dean moaned, crashing their lips together for another desperate kiss despite his breathlessness.

“M-Me too, I—what do I—”

“Just let go, come for me.” Dean said, giving their cocks a squeeze. Castiel gasped, needed no more encouragement to do just that. He threw his head back, shivering all over as he came between them, soon feeling Dean do the same.

The elder Winchester rolled over, lazily grabbing the blanket to cover them and cuddling up close to Cas as he enjoyed the afterglow of his orgasm. “Dean, that was...amazing. Sex is amazing.”

Dean hummed in agreement, smiling against Cas' neck. “Yeah, it is. ‘S awesome.” He replied quietly.

“Does this make us lovers?” Cas asked after a moment, nuzzling a little at his hair. Dean flushed at the question, not sure where they would go after this.

“I...don’t know.”

“I hope it does, ‘cause...olani hoath ol (I love you).” Cas finished the sentence in Enochian, blushing a little. Dean glanced up at the ex-angel, not sure what that meant but having a pretty good idea he knew.

“’M pretty sure I feel the same way.” He replied shyly, heart fluttering at the expression Cas gave him. He nuzzled back against his neck, pressing a little kiss there before closing his eyes. “Night, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

2 days later

Sam walked up to their couch to see Dean and Cas dozing together at the end of a movie they’d been watching, cuddled up close. The younger Winchester smiled fondly, grabbing a blanket to put over them. Cas hummed a little, nuzzling his nose against Dean's neck.

Yeah, he could get used to this. They were finally together and happy. He just needed to get noise cancelling headphones now.

#Suptober20 #Suptoberart2020 #inktober #supernatural #destiel #fanart #fanfic #lemon #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #drunk flirting #handcuffs #true or dare #drinking games #memory loss #my art #emilydraws

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creepyalienghost · 3 years

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Doctors assistant 2

“scalpel 12B.” the doctor called for, holding out his blood covered hand. Sammy quickly scan the tools next to him, his hand hovering over each tool looking for the right one before grabbing the scalpel and handing it to the doctor.

Sammy watches closely as the doctor precisely cuts an incision down the subjects lungs, the doctors hands digging there way into the organ to find the source of the problem at hand. Old blood oozes out of the body and onto the stain floor underneath. While Sammy waits for further instructions he watches the doctors face fixed in concentration and thought. He remembered the first time seeing this face a year ago. He remembered being afraid.

So much as changed since he left his home town a year ago. One being all the new subjects the doctor wants him to learn about. Like chemistry, biology and medical practices. Right now he was in the middle of learning about how to perform surgery from an old text book he found at the local library. He had learn the names and purposes of the tools they’d be working with and had recently graduated at giving a hand to the doctor. The most important thing the doctor has taught him was the reason for this research and about the horrible pestilence disease as well as how to sense it in somebody. He also learned a bit of French from being around the doctor.

The doctor himself was the best thing to Sammy. A blessing. He treated him better then his own parents would and accepted him for who he is. Sammy had began looking up to the doctor as a father he needed. The doctor would made sure he would eat and have plenty of rest at night as he’s learning these subjects. as well as let him have time to enjoy things like his music. When they were traveling from town to town the doctor would find some place warm and safe for Sammy to sleep at and would bring him food for when he wakes.

Sadly their attempts at curing the pestilence had failed every single time they tried. The first subject they experimented together on, they examined the heart. There theory at the time was maybe the pestilence attacked the heart and emotions. But it was a failure. With the second subject they looked into the brain. The Theory for this was the pestilence could be after thought but like the other subjects it was a failure. The failures joined the hordes of the living dead who had been terrorizing his own town. The doctor had explained that that was where they’d all come from-each another failure of cure.

Sadly this patient was no different. The doctor stopped, lowering his head with a sigh “Another failed attempt.”

Sammy could hear the disappointment in the doctors voice and frowns in response. Seeing his father figure disappointed made him even more sad. He went over next to the doctor and gave him a hug for the first time. We’ll find the cure one day doctor. I’m sure of it.”

The doctor looked down at the boy then returned the hug, wrapping him in his cloth coveted arms like a safety blanket. “I’m sure of it to, my child.” He looked at his failed experiment starting to move for a moment then turned back to Sammy. “Alright, my child. Let’s get you cleaned up”

After getting all that blood washed off and getting into clean clothes, the doctor let him out to roam the new town. Every since they came here Sammy meet a new friend who worked at his pa’s shop. He meet him three months ago when he was getting supplies for the doctor and needed help finding some tools there. Norman was ask by his parents to show Sammy where they were and that’s when their friendship begin. Ever since then they hung out with each other every day after Norman gets off and would go to the movies or other places that’s fun.

Just like everyday Sammy meet Norman outside the arcade center where they would play for a few hours before getting dinner. However today was different. Norman wasn’t himself today. He looked tired and run down as well as having a cough. He seem... sick. Sammy sensed the disease in him and alarms bells rang in his head. He needed to go tell the doctor. He needed him to cure his friend from the evil pestilence. Sammy took off running away from his friend to get help, not even looking back when Norman called after him. He ran straight to the doctor and told him about his sick friend, while crying with worry.

The doctor knelt down to Sammy’s height and gently whipped his tears away. “My child, here’s where you need to be strong for your dear friend if you want to save him” the doctor told him as Sammy pays full attention to the doctor. “We will save him my child, I promise you that.”

That night Norman was in his room reading a good Mystery book he had bought the week before with his friend Sammy. Or he thought he was his friend? Him just running off made him concern and confused. Why did he run off and where did he go. He had chased him into the woods and lost him In minutes. He looked around for half an hour and just gave up and went home when he couldn’t find him. Maybe he was germaphobe and ran away since he was coming down with a cold. Ether way he hoped Sammy was ok.

He’s thoughts were distracted when there was a tap on his window. He looked up

From his book and saw his friend Sammy waving at him. He happily stood up and went over to the window, opening it. “Sammy. Where did you go?!”

Sammy frowned at him. “I’m sorry Norman but you have the pestilence!”

Norman was confused by what his friend was talking about. What was the pestilence? “The what? Sam what are you t-“ Norman never saw it coming. He never what had knocked him out and never saw the doctor on the other side of the window. Sammy liked it that way. Fast and quick. He knew if Norman had seen the doctor he would struggle like the others had. Together him and the doctor grabbed Norman by the arms and dragged him out of the window, heading for the woods.

—-

Norman woke up when Sammy and the doctor were strapping his hands and feet up. He quickly began to panic and scream for help. “Sam! What is this. What are you doing?!” He asked. “Help me someone!”

Sammy stopped his work for a moment and gently placed his hand on Norman’s cheek. “Shhhh. My dear friend. You are sick. You have the pestilence. The doctor is going to cure you soon though so don’t panic. Just relax.” With that Sammy jammed the IV into Norman’s arm, The IV taking only 15 minutes to put him to sleep and his screams finally dying down.

The doctor spent hours trying to save this poor soul while Sammy stood by watching and hoping this one is the successful one. He didn’t want to lose his best friend to the disease. The doctor tried his hardest for his son to save him but in the end it was yet another failed experiment.

Sammy knew the doctor tried to save him. He knew that. But he was devastated losing his friend to the pestilence that he ran off out into the woods. The doctor didn’t try to stop him ether. He knew Sammy needed the space and time alone. The doctor was Disappointed in himself for not being able to save his sons friend and failing them both but he soon found out he had no time for sadness as he herd trucks pulling up to the building! The doctor went over to the dirty window and saw the familiar logo on one. The foundation has found him again.

——-

Sammy took a few hours walking into the woods alone to clear his mind and was ready to go back. When he returned to their part of the woods he felt something off. Like the Energy has changed. He quickly made his way back to the old school house and stopped a few feet away when he noticed it. There was fresh tire tracks everywhere around here along with footprints. A bad feeling crawled up his spin from this and he ran inside yelling for the doctor. “Doctor are you here?! Are you ok?! Doc-“

He stopped again when he got inside the place. There research papers were scattered all over the floor, their lab equipment was destroyed, bullet hole were though the walls, all their failed experiment had been shoot and there was no sign of the doctor anywhere.

Sammy ran to each room calling for the doctor and even went out into the woods looking for him but it was clear he had been taken. Sammy fell against a tree crying out. The doctor been taken away to some awful place with other things and he was all alone with no one to look after him. He was only just a child and to young to take care of himself. What was he going to do now?

#sammy lawrence #norman polk #the plague doctor #scp 049

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angelkurenai · 5 years

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Impossible - Dean Winchester x Reader (French Mistake AU)

Title: Impossible

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Imagine finding out that the two dogs you adopted were Dean and Sam from Supernatural, cursed by a witch and transported to your universe. You spend a long time with them, only for Dean to fall in love with you and to feel torn when he gets back to his human form between staying with you and leaving.

“Boys, I'm home!”

If someone had told you that this would be your life then... you would have totally believed them. Coming home from your part-time job to your own apartment, about to watch the newest episode of Supernatural and savor your favorite pie and burgers which you had just bought, and above all to your two most favorite boys in the world which also happened to be your dogs seemed like the life you actually wanted and got. Speaking of which-

“Sammy!” you grinned as the Australian Sheppard happily made his way from the kitchen towards you. You knelt and he rested his paws on your legs to push himself upwards and lick your cheek before continuing to lick your hands. You giggled, rubbing his head and back, happy to see him wagging his tail. Although he didn't get as excited as your other dog did – oh that one was the epitome of a happy dog, the past couple weeks he had not been feeling well and you were trying your best to make him happy, so it made you feel better to see him go back to his old self.

“How's my boy today? Feelin' any better?” you got a bark in return, and you wrapped your arms around the big dog in a warm hug “I hope that's a yes. Don't worry, big guy, I'm here for you. I've got your favorite treats and after the newest episode of Supernatural we're gonna watch your favorite movie too, ok?” another bark, certainly more cheerful and pulling away you grinned at him “That's my boy. It seems like you and Sam Winchester do really have more things in common than I thought.” you kissed the top of his head “Don't worry, everything will go alright, promise!” you grinned, getting back up on your feet.

You took off your shoes and jacket, looking all around the place with a frown “Hey Sam, where is Dean?”

Usually when you came back from work the second you'd open the door, the German Sheppard was the first thing you saw before your own house. He'd be jumping, practically pushing the door open, and while standing on his two feet he'd be licking the heaven out of you. On many occasions he had knocked you over because of his excitement. Well, at least you could say that Dean Winchester - at least a version of him? - was peppering you with kiss while eagerly awaiting your return every day from work. That was something.

However it didn't seem this would be the case this time. It struck you as off when you didn't hear his happy barking but you thought he had not heard you. However, you actually started to worry when you heard a loud sound come from your kitchen, of something breaking. Your eye widened and before you could realize it, you were making your way towards it in a heartbeat. Nobody could have certainly prepared you for what was to come, though, and just as surprisingly a giggle escaped your lips.

“And what do you think you're doing there mister?” you placed your hands on your hips, raising an eyebrow and trying to look as stern as you possibly could; but it was impossible with how adorable he looked while trying to hide the mess he'd made and attempted to look innocent but was clearly guilty.

A small whine came from him as you looked around, taking the scene in front of you. Both the pies you'd bought not a day ago were gone, some leftover burgers and fries gone as well, some noodles and milk spilled on the floor. There were two plastic bottles of water on the floor as well next to the glass you'd just heard break, no wonder having knocked it over the counter. The door of the fridge was still slightly ajar, no wonder him having tried to close it and cover up for the mess he'd made but not fully succeeding. Which would explain how he had not rushed to greet you.

“Dean?” you asked accusingly, voice stern “Did you do all this?” you wouldn't need a verbal answer even if he could give it to you, there was still some filling on his nose from how messily he'd eaten it, but him avoiding eye-contact was more proof too “Dean, look at me.” you said sternly and after a long pause he looked up and gave you a small, cute bark “Oh don't try to play innocent on me. Did you do that?”

His eyes were immediately cast down as he tried to push with his paw one of th empty pie contains under a chair and out of your view but it didn't work as you took a step forward, crossing your arms over your chest “Dean, look at me. Did you cause the mess? Did you eat the pies?” well, he did have more in common with the human Dean after all.

“This is why you didn't come to greet me huh? You were trying to cover up for the mess you'd made.” you said with a raised eyebrow and he let a small whine escape him, he slowly laid down to show his belly as a sign of obedience but you still remained stern, or at least did your damn best to keep a straight face “Oh now you're trying to pull that off huh? You did this hm? Even though I told you to stay away from the pies.”

You tapped your foot, face stern and firm despite how hard it was. He had lowered his ears, his eyes big and pleading – a special bright and beautiful shade of green that looked identical to the man he was named after – soft barks and whining leaving his lips as he wagged his tail. When he saw you weren't caving in, he got up on his feet and made his way to you, nudging on your hip with his head and on your leg with his paw.

“Oh you're apologizing now hm?” you raised an eyebrow “You think those pretty eyes will do it again this time?” you remained as stoic as you possibly could, already having gotten the message across. To say that Sam and Dean were the smartest dogs you'd met in your entire life would be a great understatement, they were so much more than that. Sometimes it felt like you were talking to yourself and you shouldn't expect a reaction, much less answer, from any of them; and yet they always did something to prove you wrong by giving you a sign they understood everything. Or it was probably your own wishful thinking.

“You know what? I don't even wanna know.” you sighed at those puppy eyes “How you managed to open the fridge in the first place is remarkable as it is.” the second the smile formed on your lips his ears perked up. A yelp left your lips when he jumped up and, as per usual, knocked you over. With most of his weight on top of you he started licking you like there was no tomorrow, his tail wagging so fast you could barely see it. Uncontrollable laughter left your lips as he wiggled and tried to nuzzle his nose in the crook of your neck, licking even your jaw and neck in the meanwhile.

“Alright, alright! Dean. Dean!” you squealed, laughing and rubbing his sides and belly “Dean, alright- enough kisses, please, I'm about to get an overdose!”

It took a full minute, and a small bark from Sam you were pretty sure you heard, for him to pull back. He made sure to give you a another lick over the lips, making you laugh as you tried to clean yourself, but certainly not complain.

“Ok ok I sure missed you too, buddy.” you giggled, kissing the top of his head, earning a grin from him - or what you could at least describe as that “Why don't you go and spend some time with Sammy while I clean up the mess you've made? I'll be back with food for you two soon.” you both knew you could never stay mad for too long at him and you were 100% sure he took advantage of it.

He gave you a happy bark and did as told.

~*~

“No, Dean, wait.” you said, ignoring the whining at the other side of the door or how he scratched on it; asking to be let in “Stay” you said patiently, hooking on your bra. But before you could take hold of your shorts, you heard more effort from the other side of the door before the handle shifted and, after a try or two, the door was pushed open, allowing the big German Sheppard to enter.

“Dean!” you nearly screamed, but you didn't know what you were more surprised at. The fact that he managed to open the door, he had done that before, or walked in on while you were getting dressed, got comfortable on your bed and grinned at you, he had again done that before “You perv.” you grabbed a pillow and threw at him, which he effectively caught in his mouth and played with it.

“Don't tear it to pieces.” you said with a chuckle, shaking your head but grabbing your shorts and a T-shirt and wearing them “Getting comfy, ain't ya?” you grinned, making your way to your side of the bed. It had long ago been established as this.

You had found Sam and Dean a little over a year ago, abandoned by the side of the road and in a terrible condition. You couldn't bring yourself to just walk by and, despite how hard you knew it would be (for a person that could barely make ends meet, was all the time busy with work and barely had enough space in the apartment for herself), you immediately gathered them and took them to the vet. Beaten, bruised and malnourished as they were on the road for a couple of days without any food or water, you just felt your heart break for them. They needed someone to give them their fullest of attention to heal and get them back on their feet and as hard as it was for you, it was hardest to let someone else take care of them, so you took up the opportunity.

And just like that, a little over a year later, you'd grown to love them so much you couldn't say goodbye to them. They had become your family, much like the fandom of the show the characters of which they were named after. And it was no coincidence because they were identical to Sam and Dean Winchester in any way possible.

“Wait- where's Sammy?” you looked around when you didn't spot the Australian Sheppard near you, only to peak through the door and find him in the living room sleeping next to his favorite book. You couldn't tell why you'd find him in this state so often lately, because there was no chance he could read a book (even if you'd once or twice caught him looking at pages), but you weren't going to complain if it calmed him down.

“Seems like it's just you and me tonight, buddy.” you yawned, making your way back to your bed, a sigh of content leaving your lips “But I'm telling you-” you got under the blankets, Dean wiggling his way in as well “No Supernatural tonight as much as I'd love it, I'm beat. We'll watch the new episode tomorrow as much as my heart breaks a little over that.” you layed your head on the pillow, your eyes closing for a second “Oh wouldn't I give everything to see Dean Winchester now.” you mumbled “Gosh, would I give everything to see him for real. Just for a hug, just for a sincere thank you for everything he's done for me without even knowing it. Just to let him know... how much worth it he is. I would be the luckiest girl on Earth if I got that chance.”

The show had a special place in your heart, Dean even more so than anyone else. And your dogs very well knew the fact.

You heard Dean bark but couldn't bring yourself to open your eyes as you hummed and snuggled to his side “Yeah, I love you too buddy. I know, you've got his spark, but Dean is Dean.” you whispered, wrapping and arm around him as he cuddled more with you with another lower bark “Mhm don't get jealous, big boy, or possessive, that's totally different. He's Dean Winchester... he's special.”

The last thing you remembered was his body rumbling softly with a bark that never came, before sleep finally enveloped you.

~*~

The first thing you realized when you were pulled slightly out of the darkness of your sleep was the warm body wrapped around you. And even more the lack of warm fur but presence of soft and smooth skin, human skin.

You heard a small although deep and rough groan from beside you. The surface that your head was laying on rumbled softly, earning a small hum from you, but you were too sleepy to realize it wasn't your pillow. You snuggled to the person's side even more, a pair of big and strong arms around your waist made you feel secure and cared for. You heard more sounds, shuffling of your bed sheets, followed by some murmuring and grumbling. It was all in a whispered voice so whoever the person was, they didn't want to wake you up. Your mind however was so fogged up and laced by sleep that it didn't even occur to you to think, in the first place, how someone had found their way into your bed.

And, in all honesty, whatever ability you had – during such a time – to think vanished into thin air when you slowly opened your eyes and saw who the person really was. You blinked slightly, your vision blurry as you struggled to keep your eyes open. It was hard, you could barely understand what was happening in the whole darkness of your room; but even the soft light of the moon outside was enough and you caught yourself smiling when your eyes met those breathtaking green orbs.

“Dean?” you whispered in a low and sleepy voice, the man freezing in his spot. His eyes were wide and it seemed as if he was holding his breath as if he was scared for some reason. “Dean... You're here.” you added in a whisper, your smile growing as you wrapped your arm around his middle as well.

“H-hey sweetheart.” he finally forced out, his voice deep, the nervousness crystal clear. His breathing was heavy and you could hear his heart was racing inside his chest, but you still cuddled more with him, the feeling of his soft skin against your cheek making you smile to yourself again.

“You're a little tense.” you murmured in a small voice “Why?” it was so innocent and simple, as you looked up at him with pouting lips, but it made his heart skip another bit.

“I-” he frowned, licking his lips as he kept opening and closing his mouth with an adorably perplexed look on his face.

“D?” you questioned.

He sucked in a breath, clearing his throat before he forced out a laugh that came out nervous “Well, I'm naked for starters.” he tried to give you a smile but it was awkward and it died out very soon.

“Hmh” you hummed, licking your lips before you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck “But you're a good naked... as far as I've seen at least.” the giggle that left your lips made his pull into a boyish grin.

“Well, now I'm naked naked. But-” he took in a small breath “Glad you think so.” he whispered, licking his lips that felt so dry, his smile fluttering as a look of awe took place. It never seased to amaze him just how beautiful you were when you were peacefully sleeping next to him, even if he had to be walking on four and you didn't even realize he was more than just a dog that bloody witch had turned him into.

He slowly brought a hand to your cheek, feeling such relief and peace by being able to touch your cheek like any normal human, tucking away a few stray strands when your eyes fluttered close. But it only lasted a moment because as he rubbed his thumb on your cheek, they opened again and you watched him with a sleepy smile and hazy eyes.

“It's so good to see you smile.” you whispered, bringing your hand up to cup his cheek.

Dean tried his best to ignore the crazy leap his heart did and as hard as it was, he forced himself to keep his voice even and his face straight yet gentle “Go back to sleep, princess, you're gonna need it.”

“No” an adorable, to him at least, whine left your lips “No, I don't- I dont' want to, Dean. I just... I want to keep seeing you smile. I just want to keep seeing you calm and relaxed, just lemme please.”

“(Y/n)” the lump in his throat was hard to swallow and with you wrapped around him, the effort to breathe became a struggle.

“Gosh, you should smile more often, it looks amazing on you. You deserve to smile, D. You deserve to be happy, to becalm. You deserve so much... you deserve the world.” you tried to emphasize on each word as much as you could.

“Trust me...” he let out a shaky breath “I'd be the happiest man on the world if I could just have you.”

You smiled, the kind of smile that had made him fall for you. He had long ago come to terms with the fact that he didn't just see you as a friend, or the girl who took care of them when they couldn't fend for themselves or even the chick he'd hit on if he was human from the first moment he met. Sure, he would be drawn to you from the first second – and he had been, because he was fully conscious all this time of everything around him – but after a year he realized that you were much more important to him than any of that. He had feelings for you.

“You deserve so much more. You should have it, you... You're worth so much, Dean.” your arm sneaked around his neck “Gosh, I wish so bad you could know it. I wish so bad I could let you know it... I could show you how good you truly are, Dean. How much good you've really done. How much you mean to me.”

“I know.” he breathed out, the words sounding foreign in his lips for such a subject, but having gotten to know how you saw and thought of him over the past year had made him feel all sorts of things he had not had the chance to before “Believe me, princess, I really know.”

His chest felt as if it was on fire but despite every cell in his body screaming differently at him, as he leaned in, he kissed your forehead. His eyes fluttered shut and a sigh of content left his lips, the lips which lingered on your forehead for longer than appropriate. And then came the hardest of it all “Go to sleep, (Y/n). When you wake up... everything will be better.”

And it would be better because he'd be gone, leaving you to live a normal life away from the horror, pain and death that haunted him. Leaving you... behind. And that felt like a stab to the chest.

“No” came a soft protest and he looked down at you with a deep frown “No I- I don't want to go to sleep. I don't wanna close my eyes cause if I- if I do then you'll be gone and I'll be back to reality. And I don't want it.”

“Wh-what are you-”

“I just want...” you trailed off, your lips parted as you watched him for a full minute. His eyes moved back and forth, eyebrows softly furrowed together before he heard you take in a small breath and lean in to press your lips to his. His eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up in shock.

He took in a shaky breath as your lips moved against his, soft, sweet and timid yet still with a boldness and surge of courage that all in all knocked all air out of his lungs. His eyes fluttered shut and despite every ounce of logic in him, every fiber in his body told him to kiss back and he did. His lips moved slowly against yours, savoring the moment he knew and feared wouldn't last long. He felt your arms wrap around his shoulders, one hand coming up to rest on the back of his neck as you deepened the kiss. He instinctively tightened his hold on your waist, bringing you as close as possible to himself as he could. He needed it worse than he needed the air to breathe.

His fingers danced with the hem of your shirt, the second his thumb brushed over the skin of your hip his heart did a jump. His gasp was synchronised with you licking his lower lip. He didn't even realize it when you moved so that you were laying beneath him, his body too seemingly having a mind of its own. He felt you wrap your legs around his waist and the shivers of excitement rush down his spine.

But logic and even more the need to protect you and care for you was bigger so as much as it hurt he pulled away from you with a small groan. He heard you let out a sound of protest and despite how hard it was to watch the rise and fall of your chest along with your kiss-swollen lips, he said “(Y/n)... close your eyes, sweetheart. Go to sleep. Please.” it was a plea for you to stop this because he didn't have the strength to.

“But I don't want to.” you whispered, bring your hand to cup his cheek “If I close my eyes you'll... you'll leave.” his breath got caught in his throat, fearing you knew what he had to inevitably do “I'll close my eyes and when I wake up you'll be gone but I- I don't want you to leave, Dean. Please don't leave me, I need you.”

“It's-” his mouth felt dry and he already felt terrible, so instead he said “I'll never leave you, princess.” he whispered, leaning in to press his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. He felt your lips pull into a small smile.

You kissed back before he pulled away, only a couple inches mind you though “I know you won't... I just don't want to wake up. I rarely have dreams, much less of you. I want to make this last as long as possible.”

“Dreams?” he frowned until it dawned on him. You didn't think this was real, you thought you were still sleeping and that this was all just a dream, of course. That would at least make more sense than your favorite fictional character from your favorite TV show being real and on top of that being turned into a dog, thrown into your universe, which you took in to take care of and adopted.

“Don't worry, baby girl.” he breathed out, smiling although sadly “I'll be here, just close your eyes. You're tired.” he said softly,moving to lay on his side again and tucking you next to him, kissing the top of your head which you rested on his shoulder.

“I don't want to...” you mumbled sleepily.

“Ssshh just sleep.” he said softly, watching you without another sound as you fought but your eyes fluttered shut anyway.

“I don't...” you only trailed off, losing the fight against sleep only a couple seconds later. He heard your breathing slow down and become even. He smiled, although it was bittersweet, not moving an inch so as not to wake you up.

Sleep wasn't bound to overtake him, like you, though. Deep down he wished it would, maybe then he'd have an excuse to let you know of his existence and above all stay for as long as that was supposed to be. But his heart sank when he heard the footstep at the other side of the door, and there was only person that could be there.

“Dean?” Sam's voice whispered, pushing the door slightly open.

Dean tried his best to swallow over the lump in his throat and tear his eyes away from you to look at his brother, thankfully fully clothed, standing in the doorway and squinting at him “Dean are you awake? Are you- are you back to yourself again?”

A heavy sigh left his lips “Yes and be quiet, you're gonna wake her up. I'll be there in a minute. Just... give me a minute, that's all I need.” it was a lie, he needed a lifetime with you and it would still not be enough, but at the moment that was all he could get.

Sam frowned for a second but clearing his throat, he nodded his head in understand “I'll- I'll leave a couple clothes here, alright? Just... hurry.”

Dean could even hear it in his brother's voice, a bitterness and sympathy; understanding even for his struggle and pain. The door closed softly behind Sam and the older Winchester just focused on the soft rise of your chest instead of the seconds ticking by, until the time to finally came.

As much as it hurt him he took a deep breath and did what he had to do. Knowing that the longer he stayed the harder it was going to be on him, he decided he should just man up and pry himself off you. It was hard, not just because of his feelings, but because you insisted to snuggle even closer to him and your grip around him was firm. It was nearly impossible pulling away, freezing more times than he realized whenever you'd shift or let out a small whine, but in the end he managed to get off the bed.

Pulling the clothes Sam had left for him on the chair he paused for a moment. He looked at you, even though he knew he shouldn't, holding his breath. He struggled with everything in him, against ever instinct and want, to not lean in and kiss you at the moment or even touch your cheek one last time because he knew he risked waking you up and that was something he couldn't afford.

Shaking his head he took a deep breath and with fast steps exited the room before he could regret it.

“You ok?” Sam asked softly, their eyes meeting but Dean clenched his jaw.

“Just freaking peachy.” he muttered, dragging a hand down his face.

“Dean” the younger man sighed nonetheless, seeing more than his brother let out “You know we don't have another option.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. She doesn't deserve to be dragged in all this, I've heard it before... And I agree.” he said sharply, clenching his fists as Sam nodded his head sadly. Dean's frown only got deeper when he took notice of what he was really wearing.

“Did you seriously give me her ex's clothes?” or maybe he needed a change of subject.

“They are all her ex's clothes, Dean. Be thankful he had forgotten some and she kept them in the closet otherwise we'd have nothing to wear.” Sam shrugged, ignoring the glare Dean gave him “Besides, Dean, just because you didn't like that dude to the point you bit him-” he snickered, and at that Dean looked more proud than offended “Doesn't mean we have another choice.”

“Yeah, well-” Dean gave him a smug grin, defence mechanism “Guilty. But didn't you see the way he broke her heart? He did deserved it. He was a jerk and I was right!”

“Not you were jealous. That's different.” he pointed with a small smirk “It wouldn't matter if the guy was perfect, either. You'd still hate his guts.”

“Still, I ended up being right when he did hurt her the way I predicted.” he shrugged again “Good thing she had Dean to cheer her up though.”

“Yeah, on the screen of her TV.” Sam pointed out, making reality crash down on him again, and clearing his throat he added “You know... we need to get going, before she wakes. Find a way to contact Cas.”

“Yeah I understand.” the smile fell as he chewed on his lower lip, taking another step away from the door of your bedroom “It was good while it lasted, though huh?” he asked with a half smile that fell all-too-soon.

“Ye-yeah I... I guess.” Sam frowned but pursed his lips, understanding very well how bitter and sad it was. Sure, there was a hint of relief that they'd finally be back, they had at least many more chances as humans too, because being away and helpless from their lives had taken a toll on both of them; Sam above all.

“I mean I-” Dean licked his lips, sure not all of it had been good because they had to be away from the people they cared for and called family, they had almost lost their minds thinking that it could never be undone but in the end what he felt here, the small heaven he found in your apartment with you was something he had only dreamed of in his wildest dreams at that “I miss them all too, but I just- what we got here we could never have. And I ain't one for the perfect life but this-” his eyes roamed the place, lip drawn between his teeth “It was good here, real good. And she was-” a small breathe left his lips that stayed parted.

Sam was frowning until realization hit him with something he doubted even his own brother could see, and his eyebrows raised, back straightening “Dean”

The older Winchester blinked, gathering his thoughts before willing himself to be strong “I'm ok. It doesn't matter now.” he dragged a hand down his face “We uh-” he already started making towards the door of the apartment “We should get going huh?”

“Dean” Sam said softly, eyes filled with sadness. But Dean wouldn't dare meet them.

“She could wake up any moment now.”

“Dean”

“Come on, Sam. We need to find a way back too. People can't see us moping around like-”

“Dean” it was more firm, forcing Dean to look at him with a clenched jaw “Are you-” he huffed slightly “Are you sure about this?”

“I-” he hesitated, chest puffing out before he shook his head “Yes, can we leave now?”

“I don't- I don't mean if it's the right thing. I know it is. I- I mean-” he looked him straight in the eyes “I mean, are you sure this is what you want?”

His words ran deeper than he expected, his eyes finding the door of your bedroom again. He held his breath for a second before his shoulders just slumped and his eyes lowered. Sam didn't need a verbal answer after that.

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 3 years

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V: “I wish we were back with ARMY, laughing together”

As your song says, “Life Goes On.” You decided to keep going on with your life. V: We have to move on. We can’t feel defeated forever. I felt a lot better after making some songs.

It sounds like there were no problems choosing the songs for BE. How did you feel recording your parts on the other members’ songs? V: I like “Dis-ease,” which Hobi wrote, but stylistically it was challenging. It’s really far from my own style so it took a long time to get used to. “Fly to My Room” used to be my favorite song, but it was also the hardest to sing. It was okay at first, until Jimin jumped in.

What about Jimin? V: Because I had to keep up with Jimin, the song went up maybe three keys. I thought I would die. (laughs) It started out as my favorite song, but it was just way too hard to sing.

#bangtan #v #m:weverse magazine #o:interview #201125

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theres-a-goldensky · 4 years

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BL Show Review Series - Until We Meet Again

The next show I am going to review is (spoilers) my favorite BL to date. It’s called Until We Meet Again, and it is fantastic.

Disclaimer that these are my own opinions, and I don’t know where the BL community as a whole stands on these shows. If I disliked a show you loved or visa versa, no disrespect is intended!

MASTERLIST OF BL SHOW REVIEWS

Mild Spoiler Warning and TW: brief mentions of suicide and homophobia

Until We Meet Again Rating: 9 / 10

I’ve put off writing about this show, because I’m finding it hard to articulate all of the reasons why the whole thing works so well. First of all, it needs to be said that whoever did the casting should get whatever the Thai version of an Emmy is, because every person involved in this show is so, so good. The standout, however, is Fluke as the main character, Pharm.

Fluke is, in my humble opinion, unequivocally the best actor in the Thai BL world. So much of the emotional work is done by him, in a show that is very, very emotional, and he carries the weight of the narrative really well. This man can cry on cue, and I swear he can make himself blush on cue too. You believe every second of his performance, and he makes Pharm very likable, relatable, and sympathetic without tipping over into helpless damsel territory.

Part of what makes the character so good is the quiet but firm way that he sticks up for himself. When Alex, the popular drama club president, starts to flirt with him, instead of running to Dean or meekly tolerating it, Pharm smiles politely and rejects him in a way that leaves no room for confusion. And when Dean does something that Pharm is uncomfortable with, Pharm forgives him with the gentle caveat that he never do it again. It’s said kindly, but you understand that Pharm means it, and Dean understands that too.

Anyway, that’s a hundred words just about how much I love Pharm, and we haven’t even talked about the main relationship. See, this is why I haven’t written about this show yet.

A quick overview of the show is that back in the late 80s, two university-aged men named Korn and In fell in love. However, their fathers disapproved, and Korn’s father was a mob boss who had tight control over his son. In despair, Korn kills himself and In, sick with grief, follows.

(left: Korn, right: In)

Then, cut to modern times, we meet Pharm and Dean, who we quickly understand are the reincarnations of In and Korn, respectively. It’s Pharm’s first day at university, and while he’s there doing all the introduction stuff, he meets his future best friends, Team and Manaow, and locks eyes with Dean.

Dean and Pharm both feel this connection, and their relationship is the sweetest, softest, kindest thing you will ever encounter in one of these series. Dean is a taciturn third year who is the president of the swimming club. He has plenty of female admirers, but he’s been looking for someone all his life. When he finds Pharm, he knows that his search is over. He is so gentle with Pharm, who is dealing with PTSD from In’s memories. At the same time, Dean doesn’t play any games. He makes it clear that he likes Pharm and wants Pharm to like him back. He never tries to hide his feelings with Pharm or anyone else.

(left: Dean, right: Pharm)

Ohm, who plays Dean, has less to do than Fluke, because Dean is not the primary POV character of the show, and he’s much quieter overall. But what he does well is watching Pharm and touching him like he is the most important thing in the world. He’s open with his affection and never gets hostile or aggressive the way characters often do in these stories. He’s a big guy, but he’s very kind.

Korn and In’s story is told through flashbacks that are mainly meant to mirror Dean and Pharm in the present. It’s hard to watch their happiness when we know how it’s going to end up. Earth plays In, who patiently and insistently chases after Korn. His smile is like sunlight. Seriously, he is a gift, which makes it all the harder to watch him go through so much pain. Korn is much more stoic. I think of all of the characters, he’s the one I had the hardest time connecting with. He keeps a very stern face most of the time, but by the end, it still hurts seeing him suffer.

One of the key things that makes this drama different than other BLs is that it has a genuinely compelling plot. We get to watch as Dean and Pharm navigate their new relationship while trying to piece together what is happening inside their heads. They also need to figure out how much of what they feel for each other is them and how much of it is because of Korn and In’s memories. The story went places I truly wasn’t expecting at times and kept me interested the whole way through.

The supporting characters on this show are also great. The secondary couple is Pharm’s friend Team and Dean’s friend Win. Win is the vice president of the swimming club, and Team is a junior member of the club. They immediately have that playful, fighting vibe between them that is really fun to watch.

(left: Team, right: Win)

Win’s character has lots of tattoos and piercings. He looks like a bad boy, but just like Dean, he’s actually very nice. He’s more mischievous and outgoing than Dean though. This makes him a better match for Team, who isn’t afraid to match Win’s attitude and return his teasing back at him.

Oftentimes, the secondary pairings bore me a bit, but I loved, loved, LOVED Win and Team. They are getting their own series next year, and I cannot wait for it.

Something else I want to point out about this story is that there are no Evil Female Characters. No clingy ex-girlfriends or scheming, jealous love rivals anywhere to be seen. But there ARE female characters, and they’re all great. Manaow, Pharm’s other best friend, is the main one. She’s played by Thai BL mainstay Sammy. Manaow is loud and friendly and supportive. She also gets her own boyfriend, though I wish we saw more of that relationship (give it to us in the sequel, pleassssse). Dean’s sister Del quickly joins their group of friends as well. Then there’s the less prominent members of Pharm’s cooking club. Female family members who also play big roles in the narrative.

The show isn’t without its faults. The one BLARING example that comes to mind is product placement. Until We Meet Again has the most blatant and annoying product placement I have ever seen. It almost feels like the show is stopping and having the characters give full commercials mid-episode. I refuse to mention the names of the products, but they are highlighted in a ham-handed way that is even more crass when you contrast it with the quality of the rest of the show. The worst one, by far, is at least relegated to a sort of mini-story after the episode. It involves one character encouraging another to go to the sponsored clinic and get cosmetic work done. The whole thing is not just gross but also out of character for both of them. I’ve pretty much erased it from my mind. Capitalism can burn.

The other thing is that occasionally the pacing drags a bit. I enjoyed it, but the director lingers 5-10 seconds too long on some shots, especially those involving eye contact. This is normal for BLs, but not to this extent. There’s an almost-kiss scene that drags on for nearly a FULL MINUTE in an early episode. At this point, I’ve rewatched the show so many times that I know when to hit the skip 10 secs button to move things along at a faster clip. But the first time I watched, I was like, “OK, I get it. They’re looking at each other and remembering events from their past lives. You have thoroughly conveyed this.”

But those are comparatively minor gripes and didn’t detract too much from my enjoyment. Watch this show. Have tissues ready.

And if you’re interested in fanfic, I put together rec lists for multiple BL shows including this one that can be found here and here.

MASTERLIST OF BL SHOW REVIEWS

(Send me an ask if you have a show you’d like me to review - with the understanding that I will be completely honest - or if there’s anything you think I forgot or got wrong in this review.)

#until we meet again #uwma #bl review series #ohmfluke #deanpharm #dean x pharm #bounprem #winteam #win x team #kornin #korn x in #cooheart #kao x earth #thai bl #bl recs

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detectivejay-chuckles-halstead · 4 years

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Jay Halstead x Reader

Description: Write a story about someone cleaning out their attic. They find an old piece of clothing, and inside of its pocket is an old keepsake.

Words: 4238

Warnings: MCD

Pairings: Jay Halstead x Reader

Sammy was at school, so you took the opportunity to do some much needed cleaning. You hadn’t touched the attic in months, not since...You didn’t like thinking about it, tried to avoid it. Most of his stuff had been shoved up in the attic with the help of his team. You’d told them you’d go through it when you were ready. It had taken a while, but you were finally ready.

It was a slow process to even get into the attic, trying to tell yourself it wasn’t the right time. But if it wasn’t the right time now, it would never be the right time.

There were three stacks of boxes, about nine boxes total, all labeled with his name. Jay. You couldn’t figure out how his life could be boxed into nine boxes. He had taken up so much room in your heart and in your life. There were things that weren’t in the boxes, that were around the house. Pictures. The cased flag from his funeral, his badge, his dress blues hat. His favorite clothes. His ashes in an urn on the mantle. You couldn’t help but finger his wedding ring on the chain around your neck.

You brought the first box down from the stack, sitting cross legged in front of it, methodically going through each item. You weren’t going to get rid of anything, but you knew you had to go through it, to process everything.

It had been six months since you’d lost him, the hardest six months of your life. There was no doubt about that. Each day was a little easier than the last, but you couldn’t help but remember those first few weeks which had been the hardest. You couldn’t help but remember the day you found out he was gone.

-----

Six Months Ago

It was a normal day like any other, smiling as you woke up next to your amazing husband. His arms held you close to his body, perfectly molded to him. He’d always said you were his missing puzzle piece, how perfectly the two of you fit together. It was a nice calm morning, until your five year old came bounding in, joining the two of you in bed.

He was the best thing that had happened to you. For a long time, you’d thought it had been Jay, until Sammy came around. You would kill for your little boy, and would definitely die for him without a second thought. And you knew Jay felt the same way. Sammy was your miracle. For a long time, you thought a child wasn’t part of your plan. You’d suffered through two miscarriages, countless doctors appointments. There had been countless nights crying into Jay’s chest as he held you close, as you wondered why the universe thought it wasn’t meant to be. You’d been hopeful when the pregnancy test came back positive, but very reserved. Nothing scared you more than losing another baby. Jay had been the optimistic one for the two of you. And the day Sammy was born, you thought you were dreaming until you held that crying baby in your arms with Jay smiling at your side.

“Do you have to go?” you asked Jay when his phone went off on the bedside table. He just gave you a smile and a kiss.

“You know Chicago. Crime stops for nothing. I’ll call you when I can,” he assured you as he got up, your eyes scanning over his perfect body. You no longer counted the scars, or the bruises when he had them. You still worried, but it was something you were used to by that time.

“Just no visiting me at work, got it?” you reminded him, getting a laugh.

“I promise I’ll do my best.” A visit at work usually meant he’d gotten hurt. Most of the time, though, it meant a victim or criminal was the one that got hurt.

“You better, Jay Halstead. I love you too much to lose you.”

“I love you too,” he seconded, kissing you before kissing Sammy. The little boy -- who was a spitting image of his father -- giggled, smiling as he pulled his dad in for just a second longer. “I love you, little man.”

“Love you, daddy.”

You’d gotten Sammy off to school without a hitch, which was a miracle in itself. Usually, there was a lot of kicking and screaming and crying. You were thankful for the easy morning, strolling into work like any other day.

“How’s my favorite sister-in-law?” Will asked you from his locker as you hung up your jacket.

“How many times do I have to remind you that I’m your only sister-in-law?” you countered with a smile, pulling out your phone to show him pictures of his nephew.

“I swear, he’s looking more and more like Jay every day.” You couldn’t disagree with that.

“Yeah. Eighteen hours of horrendous labor, and he comes out a carbon copy of his dad,” you joked before heading off to start off your morning in the ED.

There’d been no texts from Jay that day, which didn’t worry you too much, considering it happened sometimes. Especially when caught up in a case. It was a little suspicious, though, when you got a call from Voight to not expect Jay home that night. Usually, it was Jay letting you know he’d been gone for the night. Again, though, it didn’t worry you too much.

Going to bed that night, you’d just had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right, but didn’t ask. Oh, how you wished you’d asked.

Getting Sammy to school the next morning was harder than the previous day. You couldn’t figure out why, the boy kicking and screaming. He’d been crying for Jay all morning, and you wanted to do nothing but swing by the station to show him that Daddy was okay. But something in you stopped you. Instead, you dropped him off at school with tears still on his cheeks.

You went to work, trying to shake off whatever feeling you had. It was difficult, not letting it affect your job, but it was doable. That was until you heard the ambulance report on the radio. You were on the trauma doctor that day, but Maggie quickly pulled you, telling Ethan to meet the crew in Baghdad. That didn’t mean you didn’t hear what the paramedics were saying.

“Forty year old male, CPD officer, shot by offender. GSW to the left chest, no exit wound. Hypotensive and bradycardic. GCS 8, blunt force trauma to head and face. Pupils are equal and reactive. Two large-bore IVs bilateral ACs with 2 litres fluid wide open. Five out.”

You didn’t know it was Jay, but at the same time you did. In your gut, you knew. And your fears were proven correct when they wheeled him through the door. The short glimpse you got of him told you things were not looking good.

They’d cut off his shirt, the same one he’d left the house in the previous morning. EKG stickers were stamped across his chest. A non-rebreather was strapped to his face, giving him oxygen that was much needed. Blood covered his face, matted in his hair. His eyes were closed, chest heaving with each breath. You couldn’t tear your eyes away, even as they pulled the curtain to block your view. Not until you felt a firm hand on your shoulder.

Anger grew in the pit of your stomach, quickly drowning out the worry and fear. Voight stood next to you, a look of pity on his face. You couldn’t help it, it was your instinctual reaction.

“You were supposed to keep him safe!” you yelled at the older man, but he didn’t flinch. “He is supposed to come home every night, safe! And you couldn’t do that?”

“Y/N, let me explain,” he said, voice unwavering, as if he didn’t care. You knew that wasn’t true though, Intelligence being a family after all, which at this point you scoffed at. What family would let something like this happen?

“Explain? Explain what, Hank?” you continued, cutting him off before he had a chance to say anything further. “Explain how you couldn’t keep my husband safe! Huh? Explain that to me, because that is your job! It’s your job to make sure he comes home to his wife and to his son every night!” You felt Will grab your elbow, shaking him off quickly as you shoved your hands into Hank’s chest as you continued. “Explain to me how my husband is in that trauma room fighting for his life! Because you better have a damn good reason, because it’s your life on the line too! Because if he doesn’t make it, I’ll kill you myself.” There was anger and truth in your words, spitting them out like fire as the rage began to consume you. Because it was easier to feel rage and anger than it was to admit how terrified you actually were.

“We were chasing a lead, weren’t expecting the deal to go south. Jay was caught in the crossfire.”

“He better pull through, Hank,” you reminded him again, before letting Will walk you to a chair at the nurse’s station, knowing you didn’t want to be far from Jay.

It didn’t take long for him to be whisked away to emergency surgery, and for Will to take you up to the surgery waiting room, along with the Intelligence team. None of them said anything to you, or even looked your way until you mentioned something to Will.

“Sammy’s at school. Usually, Jay would pick him up,” you said softly, not knowing any of them had heard you.

“I’ll go get him, take him back to your place,” Kim assured you, taking Adam with her. You nodded, not wanting to leave the hospital. Not until you knew Jay would be okay.

Honestly, you didn’t know how long you’d been sitting in the waiting room, eating when Will brought you food and drinking when he brought you water. You couldn’t bring yourself to move, worried you’d miss when the surgeon would come out to tell you what was going on.

“Dr Halstead,” Marcell said when he walked out, taking a seat next to you. A quick glance at the clock told you it was going on eight hours since ay had been brought in. “He’s out of surgery. Luckily the bullet missed a lot of the important stuff. Just a small knick on his subclavian artery, which we were able to fix fairly easily. His internal bleeding is also controlled. What we’re most worried about is the extent of his head trauma, which time will only tell. He should be waking up soon, if you want to see him,” he told you, letting out the sigh of relief you didn’t know you’d been holding in.

Sure enough, there he was, skin pale, but chest rising and falling. You sat next to him, taking his hand in yours, waiting. Just waiting. For some sign he was really okay. Even when Will told you to rest, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. There had been times before where you thought you might lose him, but this was different. This felt like the real deal, and you didn’t want to waste a second away from him.

Around two in the morning was when you felt the pressure on your hand, looking up to see his eyes fluttering open. Your eyes met his, those beautiful ocean eyes. Those two seconds of looking into his eyes felt like an eternity until they closed again, a deep breath exiting his mouth, and the worst sound you could think of.

All of your medical training went out the window, as you sat there as the wife. Not as the doctor. Because if you were the doctor you would have known that his heart was no longer beating. But you did know that, your instincts kicking in as you pressed the blue button on the wall, hands pushing hard on his chest, feeling his ribs cracking underneath your hands. The sound of his flatline piercing the silence of the room, mingling with your heavy breathing as you held back your tears.

Hands were on your arms, pulling you away. Vaguely you heard someone say your name, but the sound of the blood rushing in your ears was too loud to hear what they were saying. Not as you saw them keep pushing on his chest, shove a tube down his throat, push multiple medicines to try and get the electricity flowing through his heart again.

“Time of death, two fourty eight,” Marcell said to the team, to you. Whoever had pulled you away was the entire reason you were still standing as your legs gave out from underneath you. The love of your life was gone, and you weren’t sure what that would mean for the rest of your life.

-----

Remembering that day was difficult, it would be for anybody. But for you, it hit a little harder every time. The fact that there was nothing you could do. They had later told you it was a blood clot. One blood clot took away the love of your life.

As you continued through the boxes, you couldn’t help but remember some of the better moments between the two of you, flooding back with some of the items you’d pull out. Like a tie. Who knew one tie could remind you of one of the best days of your life.

-----

Six Years Ago

Your mom had tears in her eyes as you stood in front of her, white dress hugging your body tightly. Your hair was in a loose updo, makeup done up. The last thing you needed to do was begin crying as well, considering how long it had taken for the makeup artist to do your makeup.

“You look so beautiful, honey,” she told you, taking your hands in hers. You couldn’t help but smile at her. “I wish your dad was here to see you. He would have loved Jay.”

“I know he would have, Mom. But at least I have you.” You hugged her before pulling away again, glad you had the photographer capturing these seemingly small moments.

“Let’s go show Jay how beautiful you look.”

The two of you walked out, waiting for the bridal music to begin before beginning your walk down the aisle. As soon as your eyes met Jay’s, a smile was on your face, and you could see the tears welling in his eyes. You weren’t expecting him to cry when he saw you, but it was a nice surprise. As soon as you reached him, he took your hand in his, wiping away tears with his free hand.

“You look absolutely, stunningly beautiful,” Jay told you softly, squeezing your hand before you had the urge to straighten his tie, which apparently Will hadn’t done for him. Then, the priest started talking. You didn’t pay much attention, too focused on looking at Jay. That was, until it was time to speak your vows.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” Jay started, clearing his throat with a smile when you heard it crack. “When I met you, I never thought we would get to this point. Mainly, because I thought you would have the common sense to run far, far away from being with a cop. But you didn’t, and you have given me the best three years of my life. And I cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together, and creating as many memories as possible. No matter how good or how bad it gets. Because I love you, and that’s what love is about,” he told you. Afterall, the vows weren’t for the guests, they were truly between you.

“There was a split second when the reality of your job came crashing down, where I had the instinct to run far, far away, but I couldn’t. Because I realized how much I love you. There was no describing it. I knew that I had to be with you until I died, because we work. We work perfectly, even when everyone thought that we wouldn’t. A part of me knew that it was meant to be the second I saw you, as if our souls were already connected, even before you asked me when your suspect was going to wake up, no hello to begin. And here we are, three years later, Jay Halstead. I sure didn’t think we’d get here either, but I wouldn’t want to be here with anybody else. Because I love you, more than anything else,” you told him.

The priest finished, the two of you sliding rings on each other’s fingers before sharing a kiss that conveyed more emotion than you thought possible. But it was official. You were Jay Halstead’s wife.

-----

You knew he’d kept his suit from the wedding, but coming across that tie reminded you of that moment more than a picture ever did, if you were being honest. You couldn’t help as the tears welled up in your eyes. There wasn’t anything you wouldn’t do to have Jay back with you.

More memories came back as you went through the boxes methodically, gently handling each item as if it were treasure. Because it was to you. These were the things you had left of Jay. You’d take no boxes, no possessions at all, if it meant he was alive.

There were things you’d kept downstairs in your bedroom, things that were too hard to pack away. So, when you came across his favorite black hoodie, you were a little surprised, thinking it was downstairs in your closet. There were a lot of memories associated with this hoodie. Slipping it on, it felt like he was holding you again, and if you closed your eyes, you could imagine it for a little while longer. That was, until you felt something in the pocket.

With a shaking hand, you pulled it out. It was a note and a small box. The note you recognized, it was one you’d written years ago.

-----

Eight Years Ago

“Detective Halstead!” you called from across the ED.

It got some head turns, but the only one you cared about was Jay’s. Which as soon as you saw him, you smiled. It didn’t take long for him to recognize you, getting a smile in return. You were holding a small piece of paper in your hand, not letting him see it as he walked over.

“Doctor Y/L/N,” he said as he approached. “I came to see Will. Have you seen him?”

“Yeah, he took a patient upstairs to the ICU. He should be back soon. Do you maybe want to go get a cup of coffee while you wait?” you asked, hopeful.

“Sure, but please tell me it’s the kind you pay for and not the free watered down shit in the waiting rooms?”

You couldn’t help but laugh and nod in agreement, shoving the paper in your pocket for the time being. The two of you walked in silence out the coffee cart in front of the hospital, thankful for the warm weather. This wasn’t the first time or second time you’d ran into Jay, having enough of a working relationship to randomly ask him for coffee, but this wasn’t a random thing. This was something you’d been wanting to do for a few weeks now.

“So, Jay,” you said. “You seeing anybody?” You weren’t expecting him to choke on his coffee when you asked, but couldn’t help but chuckle when he did.

“Can’t say that I am. Why do you ask?”

“I’m not usually this straightforward,” you answered. “But, here’s my number. You should give me a call sometime soon, go get dinner.” You handed him the note. It was more than just your number, but that’s what you played it off as. He unfolded the paper, a blush flushing across his cheeks when he read it, clearing his throat again.

“I’ll give you a call,” he assured you, tucking the note away in his pocket. “Thanks for the coffee.” You nodded, watching him walk away.

Three days later, you were sitting in your living room at home, a rare day off. It was nice, to just lounge around, not worried about anything. No life or death or decisions needing to be made, nobody calling for a doctor. You had a glass of wine, and a stupid reality show playing on the TV. You weren’t really paying attention to the TV though, more focused on a phone call that you weren’t sure was coming. Or maybe he was just busy, you weren’t sure. You were pulled out of your thoughts by a knock on the door.

You didn’t even look through the peep-hole, not worried. There stood Jay, holding up the note in his hand.

“Bold move putting your address and your next day off on here,” he told you as you stepped aside, letting him in.

“Do you want something to drink? I just opened a nice bottle of red, or I have beer?” you offered, ignoring what he’d just said. You knew it was true, but you figured you needed to be bold to get his attention.

“I’ll have a glass of whatever you’re having.” You nodded, going to the kitchen to grab another glass. You brought it back, pouring him a glass as the two of you sat on the couch. Jay looked at you hesitantly before kicking off his shoes and making himself comfortable. “This isn’t something I normally do,” he told you.

“And you think I give every cute cop I come across my phone number and address?” you countered with a smile as you handed off the glass.

“I don’t know what to think, Y/N. I mean, it’s very straightforward.” That definitely wasn’t a lie.

“Well, it seemed like you were never going to make a move, so I did it for you. Plus, if you weren’t interested, you wouldn’t be here,” you reminded him.

“When a pretty doctor lady invites you over, you don’t just turn that down,” he added, taking a swig from the glass.

“You always have a choice, Jay.” He just smirked and shook his head. You had a feeling it was more than that, that he actually wanted to be there with you.

The night was full of good wine and laughing. A few hours later, you looked over at the clock to see that it was nearly midnight. The two of you had naturally gravitated towards each other, your head resting on his chest with his arm around you. It was natural.

“You should stay the night, Jay,” you told him, knowing he probably shouldn’t drive. He’d graduated from a couple glasses of wine to a couple of beers.

“I can call a taxi,” he assured you. “I don’t want to impose.”

“What if I told you I wanted you to stay?” you asked with a sly smile. You really did want him to stay. The night was still young, plus, you were really enjoying his company. You’d learned more about Jay that night than you had in the weeks of knowing him.

“I’d ask if you were absolutely sure, because me staying the night means everything is going to change between us.”

There wasn’t a second thought when it came to what you wanted. Your mind had been made up, kissing him softly. It seemed to take him by surprise, but he seemed to go with it pretty fast. He was a really good kisser, better than you had originally imagined.

“Jay,” you said against his lips before repositioning, straddling his lap with hands in his hair.

“I’m kind of glad I took you up on this offer,” he told you before kissing you again, hands on your waist as he pulled you flush against him. This was definitely your best idea yet.

-----

You wouldn’t have believed anybody if they told you you’d end up married to the man. But you were. You eventually brought yourself to open the box that had been residing in the pocket of the hoodie for at least the past six months.

“What?” you asked softly, carefully opening the small box to reveal a locket. Quickly popping open the locket to look inside.

“Jay…” You saw a picture of the two of you on your wedding day. On the other side was a picture of Jay and Sammy right after Sammy was born. The smile on Jay’s face was as bright as the sun. He loved every second of being a father. You figured he’d gotten it for your anniversary since it had been coming up right after he died. There really was no other choice than to wear it.

When you looked at your watch, you saw it was getting to the mid-afternoon, and Sammy would be home soon. Carefully, you packed the boxes up again, still wearing his hoodie. It still smelled like him, comforting. As you began your descent down the attic ladder, you could have sworn you heard his laugh, saw him out of the corner of your eye. You were a firm believer he was still there with you, and all of this -- the memories, the locket, the memory of his laugh -- just solidified that even more.

#jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader

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that-one-gay-girl · 4 years

Text

Gone - Ch.2

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word count: 1434

Summary: Y/n is still struggling to adjust to her new life. Sam and Dean want to help but don’t know how. Sometimes it takes the hardest times to turn things around.

Warnings: medical talk, sad dean, fluff

Recap:

In the next moment the damn burst and all the emotions and pain you’d been pushing down breaks through. “I love you, and you are going to get through this Y/n.” He tells you stroking your hair holding you as you cry.

“Dean, I'm useless, I’ll never hunt again, I can’t even take a damn shower!” you cry out.

Dean holds back tears of his own as he responds. “I’ve got you, shh…I’ve got you baby”

Now:

It had been three weeks since Y/n came home from the hospital, she barely moved from the bed, refusing food, company, or help. Dean hated seeing you like this, but he also hated himself for not being able to help you. He hated that he couldn’t prevent this from happening. She’s here, She’s alive he thinks to himself as he takes another swig of beer.

Sam had been researching physical therapists and trying to learn anything and everything to help you when you were ready for it. He felt the best way to help you was to know everything. He would sit in the war room, day and night doing everything he possibly can to help you. He just had to wait for you to ask.

Another 3 weeks went by and you still refused food, barely moving from the bed. Everything you’d ever known had changed. You were a different person, most likely never able to hunt again. Dean won’t want to be with someone broken like me, you think to yourself as tears fall down your face again.

The pain that you felt, radiated through your whole body. You wanted to ask for help, but the words never left your lips. You couldn’t let anyone see how weak you’d truly become. Pushing the covers off your body you're determined to make it to the bathroom by yourself.

As Dean and Sam sit in the war room doing research to help a hunter they hear a loud crash. They look at each other quickly before taking off towards your room. “Y/n!” Dean yells out as they run down the hall passing doors quickly before arriving at your closed one.

As Sam tries to open the door a heavy weight prevents him from doing so. “There's something blocking the door” Sam says quickly as he tries again just opening it an inch. Through the crack in the door dean can see your foot sticking out.

“Y/n!” Dean shouts worriedly as Sam carefully opens the door just enough to squeeze through. Once in the room he sees you laying on the floor, unconscious with blood running down your head.

“Dean! She's hurt!” Sam carefully maneuvers you into his arms carrying you to the bed, gently placing you down.

“What happened?!” Dean panics seeing the blood on your head.

“She was laying right in front of the door, unconscious.” He says concerned as your eyes start to flutter. A pained groan leaving your mouth. “Y/n, can you hear me?” Sam shakes you gently.

“Ow” you respond as your eyes finally open, seeing a worried Dean and Sam looking down at you

“What happened Y/n, why were you on the floor?” Dean questions you as Sam helps you sit up, leaving to get supplies to stitch your head.

Keeping your eyes cast down you avoid Dean's gaze, “I had to use the restroom, I just wanted to do something without your help. I’m so tired of being weak and useless!” you shout as your emotions take over. “I'm not the same person anymore. I understand if you and Sam want me to leave” you say wiping tears from your eyes.

“Y/n, where did you ever get an idea that we don’t want you here with us, with me? You are one of the best things that's ever come into my life and I would die before I let you go. I would do anything to protect you and I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you from this. But me and Sammy, we are here for you. All you have to do is say the word and we will help you. You are so strong Y/n, one less leg won’t change that.” He replies as he wipes the remaining tears from your face kissing you softly.

“I need help, Dean” You respond hugging him tightly.

- 1 week later -

“Sam!” you yell from the library “Come help me reach this book gigantor!” you laugh as you spot Sam rounding the corner. Moving back on your crutches you point to the book you need.

“Doing research?” he asks as you both walk towards the table, Sam setting the book down for you.

“Yeah, Helping garth on a case and I need something to keep me occupied till I start physical therapy and get fitted for my prosthetic.” you respond sitting down and setting your crutches to the side.

“Well, I’m headed on a supply run. Deans in the shooting range if you need anything” he says.

Over the past week you’d been doing better, the boys have been helping you get moving again and you adjusted to using crutches. You refused to use the wheelchair determined to get back your strength. After talking to Dean and figuring everything out you were actually ready to get your life back on track.

The days passed quickly as your prosthetic fitting appointment was in just a few hours. You hoped with this leg it would get you back in the game.

“Alright, let's get this show on the road” Dean claps his hands together as he grabs your bag.

Grabbing your crutches you stand up walking out to the impala. Once Dean starts the engine and pulls out of the garage you're searching through the cassette tapes. “Black Sabbath?” you ask holding up the tape.

With a shake of his head Dean pulls out a cassette tape from his pocket “Something special” he says as he turns the volume up.

You can’t help but smile as the first lines of kansas’ ‘Carry on Wayward Son’ blasts through the speakers. You haven't felt this good in a while and there's no one else you’d rather have by your side.

As Dean pulls into the parking lot you turn down the music, suddenly nervous.

“Ready to kick ass?” Dean asks

Taking a deep breath you look at him, nodding “Let’s do this.”

After waiting for about 15 minutes you're called back into a room with your prosthetist.

“Hi Y/n, I’m Danny and i’ll be working with you over the next several months. Now, this will be a process but I don’t want you to worry or get overwhelmed. We will take this one step at a time and if you ever feel uncomfortable or want a new prosthetist that can be arranged. Do you have any questions before I start?” He asks you

“How long does all this stuff take?” you question

“Well today I’ll just be doing your initial exam making sure you are healing on the right track and once your surgeon has also signed off we can get started on the casting process. You will come in about every two weeks and once we get your prosthetic you’ll start on the physical therapy side. This process can take from 6 months to a year. But every patient is different. I want to go ahead and start your exam, can I touch your leg?” he asks you

Nodding you look away as he pulls up your pant leg examining the stump.

“Your leg looks great, swelling is practically gone, the incision has healed nicely. I’d like to discuss what your life activities looked like before the amputation and some goals you have for the future, so we can figure out what will work best for you.” he rolls the cloth shrinker back onto the stump.

“Very active, went on lots of hikes, running usual stuff. I still want to be able to do all that now” you respond.

Two hours later you walk out to the waiting room with Danny, Dean stands up as Danny holds his hand out “You must be Dean, Im Danny i’ll be Y/n’s Prosthetist”

“Nice to meet you Danny” Dean shakes his hand

“Im sure y’all are ready to get outta here so I’ll see you in two weeks Y/n.”

“See you then” you respond as Dean and you walk back to the impala

As you get into the impala Deans stomach rumbles loudly. “Burgers and pie” he asks you with a smirk.

“Burgers and pie” you smile.

Chapter 3

Dean/Jensen Taglist:

@akshi8278 @hobby27

#dean x reader #supernatural fic #supernatural reader insert #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #gone

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ariannnawinchester · 4 years

Text

A Hell of a ride

Characters: Reader, Dean, Bobby, Sam, Lisa & Ben.

Pairings: Dean x Reader & Dean x Lisa.

Warnings: Angst, language and some fighting.

Summary: Part 1 of a new series. Set in Season 6, Sam and the Reader have been living questionable lives after they crawled out of hell. Dean gets dragged right back into the life with his new family. The stakes get way to high, can they win? Will Dean’s love for the Reader fix everything?

A/N: Yes, I know I have been gone for way too long and I am deeply sorry. However, I am back, with stories that with tantalise your mind and leave you wanting more. Hahah. Thank you for reading. Constructive criticism and feedback is highly appreciated as always.

“Y/N.”

Your name tumbled out of his mouth in stunned whisper. He was frozen for almost three heartbeats, just standing there with his haw slack as he blinked slowly. He was in shock and you couldn't blame him. You could see the gears, whirring behind his eyes, the information seeping in. The realisation finally crashing into him like a tsunami.

He whipped around, the deadly accusatory glare directed at Bobby, who could look everywhere except at Dean.

“You know they were alive this whole time?” he spat, “this whole goddamn time?” his jaw clenched shut and his temple throbbing from the fury brewing in the pit of his stomach.

Bobby cleared his throat and rose from his chair to walk towards Dean. He lifted his hand to lay it onto Dean’s shoulder. But Dean, he just dodged Bobby’s touch. The betrayal evident on his face, “Of course you knew Bobby. You just failed to inform me. How long?” His voice growing louder as he demanded answers, “How goddamn long have they been back?”

The guilt was bubbling it’s way to the surface of your skin but all you did was stay standing next to Sam, with your arms folded across your chest and watched Dean pace up and down the study and lose his mind.

“A year.”

Dean cast his eyes to you and Sam, his lips curled into an angry scowl as he smudged away on lone tear that fell down his cheek, “You’re kidding right?” he shook his head, refusing to believe what he was hearing. He resumed his pacing just for the sake of movement.

A brief looked passed between you and Sam before you stalked up to Dean and grabbed him by his collar, forcing him to stop moving so he could finally look at you for more than two seconds.

“Don’t you dare blame this on Bobby.” you growled, “he did what he thought was best for you.” you stabbed a finger into his solid chest, the frown of his face ebbing away and the softness returning to his eyes at your words but that didn't stop you, “You finally had a life. A good life that you deserve, so sue us for wanting to keep you out. Now, do yourself a goddamn favor and stay out.” You release his collar from your grip and shove him back.

Before your own tears threatened to fall, you stormed out, slamming the door behind you as your tried to block out their raised voices. Once again, blaming each other for the shit show that was the last couple of months.

The nippy air bit at your exposed skin as you sat at the work bench in the scrap yard, twirling your bronze knife between your fingers and watching the metal reflect the light. There’s no handbook to help when you come back to life, it ain’t no walk in the park either. When you woke up, you were all alone in the cemetery, the rain falling in sheets but you could feel anything. There’s this massive void inside your ribs that you cant seemed to fill. You tried, god knows you tried to feel even the slightest bit normal again but nothing worked. Not alcohol, not sex, not even the thrill that came from the hunt but blood..

One thing hadn't changed though, you felt it in your bones. One specific detail was sewn into your very being. That Dean was still the love of your life. You didn't have the courage to tell him that the first thing you did when you rose from the ground was to try and find your way back to him. You had walked miles to him, covered in dirt and grime, your sheer determination fuelling you. But you couldn't will yourself to walk up to the door, you just stood at the opposite side of the street and watched them being a family through the slits in the curtains as the sun began to set. He deserved her and the boy, he looked happy and he deserved to be. Regardless of the gnawing jealousy the crawled into the pit of your stomach, you walked away. You had to, because you knew it was for the best.

“I knew I’d find you here.” his voice jolting you to the present, his smile throwing you off balance as he sat down in front of you. His fingers settled on the carving in the wood, tracing the pattern of a heart and your initials with his.

A scowled found it’s way across your lips, “Where else could I be? Not like I could go to Hell twice in a row. Or is that just jinxing it?” you added with a sarcastic smile.

Dean was stunned, like you had just slapped him across the face and wreaked baby all in one go. His eyes glossed over as he sucked in a breath, using the moment of silence to figure out the right words to say.

“I could think about what I want to say for days but nothing would be enough. Nothing will amount to the sacrifice you made.” his voice cracked, “I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I went to her because Sam made me promise, you made me promise. If I had known you were alive, Jesus, I would have dropped everything, anything for you and Sammy. For my brother and my girl.” He was shaking as he spoke, his lip trembling as his tears fell freely.

Like a spring, you shot to your feet, “Whoa!” the shock evident in your voice, “It doesn't work like that okay? We can’t just pick up were we left off.” your chest was heaving, ‘I died, okay? I died. Like dead as a fucking door knob dead. I’m not the same girl anymore. The girl you knew and loved died in that cemetery. And, she’ll never come back.”

Dean just stared at you, like a wounded puppy with his green eyes big and teary. He looked like he was barely holding himself together, the anguish busting his seams. But what could you do? Nothing. You had to let him be and let him go.

You sighed, tucking your stray strands of hair behind your ears, “If you’re thinking of leaving Lisa for blood covered machetes and a dead girl, you’re making a big mistake. A fucking colossal mistake. You have something with her, so don't throw it away. She obviously loves you and was there in ways I could never have been. So, just go live your life. You can repay me for my sacrifice by doing that.”

You pocketed your dagger, sparing one last look at Dean, you walked back towards the house.

You were on your knees, ruffling through the kitchen drawer in search of a bottle opener when you felt a hand graze your shoulder.

“Y/N right?” Lisa questioned, a thin smile on her bare lips.

As you straightened up, you dusted your dark jeans at the knees before you reached out to shake her hand.

“The one and only.” you answered, trying your hardest to be polite, “It’s nice to finally meet you and to put a name to a face.” you lied, walking to the fridge just for the sake of something to do, “Beer?” you offered, “Canned beer because the bottle opener is lost to the world.”

Barely any reaction crossed her features, she just nodded and leaned against the table whilst opened and handed her the beer.

The air was thick, the silence suffocating you. Something felt off about the whole situation but your just couldn't figure out what. Your blood began racing in your veins, burning hot like it was laced with acid and all you wanted to do was run. But you didn't. You stayed put and rose your gaze to face her.

“Sorry about not introducing myself properly earlier. I’m not exactly big on reunions or a people’s person.” you scoffed and leaned against the counter. You opened your beer, the satisfying ‘tshhh’ sound filling your ears before you took a huge gulp and spoke again, “I’m also sorry that your boy got dragged into this. But I’m sure you knew. That everything and everyone in this life is messy and every single thing comes with terms and conditions or a consequence.”

She let out a gust of air, her lips pulled in a tight line as she set the untouched beer down and shook the condensation of her fingers.

“Oh you mean like you? Your noble sacrifice? You left him and he was so broken. I had to try and put him back together and still he used to talk about you.” utter heartbreak lacing her voice, causing your eyes to dart to her face, “Only in his sleep. He’d never speak about what happened when he was awake. He didn't wanna speak to me.” she shrugged, her shoulders sagging.

“Lisa, you don't have to wor-” you began to say before she interrupted.

“I pieced two and two together. Now, it finally makes sense to me. Of why he chose you, why he’ll always choose you. I want to hate you, I want to hate you so bad, for his heart belonging to you. But I can’t. You died to save the world. You’re great, more than I’ll ever be.” she choked back a sob, “He might have physically been there with me but you were the only thing mattered to him. You and Sam. I love him. And it hurts so much because he’ll never love me back. He will never love me back.” She clutched onto the table for support, the grief and agony washing over her as her tears began to fall.

You were awful in situations like this. You never knew what to say or what to do.

“Lisa.” you started, trying to bring some comfort, “he cares about you and your son deeply.” you smiled gently, pointing towards the kitchen window to show her Dean and Ben sitting on the hood of a scrap car, just talking.

“No!” she yelled, the shrill of her voice startling you as she shoved you back hard enough to make you land on your ass, “You don't understand. It hurts. It hurts so much.” she was trembling, her eyes bloodshot and her tears running black down her face as she walked towards you, “You don't know how much it hurts to give someone the best of you and watch him choose someone else. You’re the dead girl and he’ll still choose you.”

She bared her teeth and leaped at you.

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writingkeepsmewhole · 4 years

Text

Bad Habit

This is just a one shot about Sam and Dean. This is also meant to be day 4 or my 365 Fic challange. I know it’s now the 5th and not the 4th but it’s 3AM so I’m counting it as the 4th of January. :P Sorry if it sucks I rushed it, all of it.

Sam and Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT, Language, Threesome, No wincest.

Fic Summary: Reader is a succubus that convinces the boys that she can feed without killing.

I walked into the building a jazz band playing on the stage farthest from the door. Fully aware of all the eyes on me. I couldn’t stop the smirk that came to my face as I sat at the bar.

“How can I help you?” The bartender asks his dark eyes dropping to my low cut dress.

“Surprise me.” I say leaning forward to place my chin on my hand.

“Sure thing.” He says smirking.

I smile back spinning myself around on the stool to scan the crowd. Leaning back I meet a few pairs of eyes but no one catches my eye.

I stop when I see a pair of men in the corner, trying their hardest not to look at me. I can’t stop the grin knowing I found my victims for the night.

“Here’s your drink miss.” The bartender says an apple martini setting on a napkin with a phone number on it.

“Thanks love.” I say winking at him, taking the drink and sliding off the stool.

I make my way over to the two men, both of them seeming out of placed dressed in flannel. The shorter one of them first to look up when I stop at there table.

“Hello boys.” I say smiling at them.

“Uh hi.” The taller one says.

“How’s it going?” The other says.

“It could be better, do you mind?” I ask guesting to the seat next to him.

“Sure.” He says smirking his green eyes lighting up.

“Your a doll.” I say sitting down and placing my drink down.

“So, how can your night be better?” The taller one across from me asks.

“Well.” I say biting my lip as I take a breath the smell of lust coming of the both of them.

“I’m looking for a little entertainment.” I say looking at the green eyed one, him undressing me with his eyes.

“You think you two could help me with that?” I ask him.

“Depends on what kind of fun you want?” He asks wrapping his arm around me.

I jump when something cold and hard is pressed into my side. I look down to see a gun. Hearing a click from under the table I turn to look at the long haired one.

“Hunters? Really?” I ask them both.

“Sorry sweetheart just trying to save a few lives.” The one next to me says.

“Well sorry to disappoint but I haven’t killed anyone in years.”

“You expect us to believe that?” The long haired one asks.

“Yes, I know how to get what I need without leaving corpses in my bed.”

“You are really trying to tell us you feed without killing people?” Green eyes asks me.

“When I’m a good girl I do.” I say moving closer to him, placing my hand on his thigh.

I watch him gulp but he doesn't lean closer.

“Sorry darling we made sure to wear protection against your charm.”

“Well that’ll make me want you even more.” I say pushing out my bottom lip.

“But if you two don’t want to play let me go and I’ll go find someone else.”

“Yeah that’s not gonna happen.” Brown eyes says, across from me.

“Why not?” I ask pouting.

“Because we don’t want to find your leftovers tomorrow.”

“Your really not listening are you? I don’t kill my playthings. Just leave them with a good time and I get fed. Everyone wins.”

“I’ve read the lore I know the truth.”

“Ooh what a smart little librarian, but I hate to pop your bubble handsome but we all don’t run around draining people dry. I can prove it if you like.”

“Oh yeah, how?” The one next to me asks.

“That’s easy, one of you join me for the night.” I say smirking at him, then looking at the one glaring holes at me.

“Or the both of you. Doesn't bother me. The more the merrier.”

“Were brothers.” The long haired one says.

“Oh, well just the one then.” I say shrugging.

“Sammy don’t act like we’ve never shared a girl.” The one next to me says.

“Dean, shut up and it’s Sam.” Sam says glaring at him.

“Let’s just finish this job and go home.”

“Now, now Sam no need to be so angry. This night can end well for all of us. You two come with me I get a snack and I’ll even help you catch the other bitch that’s hunting in my territory.”

“See Sam not so bad you the one always going on about that not all monsters are evil.”

“Stop that.” Sam says glaring at me.

“Stop what?”

“Seducing him.”

“Oh I stopped doing that after he shoved the gun in my ribs plus if you really do have protection from me I can’t make either of you do anything.”

“Then why-.”

“Why are you still attracted to me?” I ask already knowing he’s question.

“Well your a male and I can’t help but ooze pheromones.”

“I thought you said you can control it?” Sam asks clenching his jaw.

“To a degree but being this close is gonna have some effect. If you get your brother to let me go I will walk away and your head will clear up soon enough.”

“No.” He says straightening up.

“Your coming with us.”

“Is that so?”

“Sam.” Dean says sounding like he was warning him.

“I’m not letting her feed off someone else. If she says she can prove it I wanna see it for myself.”

“Now that’s what I want to hear.” I say smiling my stomach flipping with excitement.

“Get up.” Sam says standing up.

“You heard him.” Dean says pushing the gun into my side.

“Yes sir.” I say watching Dean’s green eyes darken.

I smirk making a note to self as I stand up. I watch as the both of them discreetly put their guns away. Them both grabbing my elbows.

“Relax boys don’t want to draw attention now do we?” I ask linking my arms with them.

They both look down at me and then share a glance as we walked to the door.

“So your place or mine?”

“Ours.” Both say at the same time.

“Of course.” I say let them lead me to an older black impala.

“Nice car.” I say as Sam holds the front door open for me.

“Aww how gentlemanly of you.” I say sliding into the seat.

“Keep going.” Sam says siding next to me as Dean gets behind the wheel.

“Well your the bossy one.” I say earning a glare.

“Differently got to say this is a first for me.” I say as Dean starts the car and starts heading into town.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well normally by this point I've at least gotten a kiss or two. And being the middle of a sexy man sandwich should be more sweaty than this.” I say hearing a huff from both of them.

“Both so angry.” I say not getting a reply.

“Well this is gonna be a fun night.”

“Hush.” Sam says looking at me.

“Ask me nicely.” I say winking at him.

He only tightens his jaw.

“I really bother you huh? How long has it been? A few months? A year?” I ask him making his face flush.

“Oh don’t tell me longer?”

“Sammy’s not a one night stand person.” Dean says making me turn to look at him.

“And I take it you are?”

He shrugs, pulling the car into the parking lot of the cheapest hotel in town.

“Well now you boys are gonna make me seem like the town hooker.”

“Well aren't you? You live off sex.” Sam says.

“Only because I have to. I have a job and everything.” I say as we all get out of the car.

“Didn’t expect that.” Dean says leading us to the room 304.

“Well you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover.” I say as he unlocks the door.

I follow him inside him turning on the lights to show a typical hotel room set up. Double beds, table and chairs, dresser, TV and a bathroom.

“How cosy.” I say pulling off my jacket leaving me in a low cut black dress.

“What are you doing?” Sam asks, Dean smacking his arm.

“Dude you know what you invited her here.”

“I don’t think asking someone to come over by gun point is an invasion but whatever helps you boys sleep at night.” I say sitting on the bed closest to the door.

“So, how should we get this thing started?” I ask crossing my legs and leaning back on my hands.

“You just have to have sex with one of us right?” Sam asks surprisingly smooth.

“Well not exactly that’s the most fun but I can just feed from kissing someone. I get more from sex. I can go longer without feeding when I have sex.”

“I thought you fed off you know…” Dean says blushing.

“Sperm?” I ask laughing.

“No, I can feed of a male or female.”

“Sweet.” Dean says moving to pull off his jacket and flannel him throwing it on the other bed.

“Very.” I say looking him up and down.

He was definitely fit. Wide shoulders and nice arms from what I could see. He moves over to sit next to me a necklace hanging from his neck. It simple a black obsidian crystal hanging from it.

“Your protection.” I say glancing at it then back at him.

“Who knew a few fancy words and a black rock could keep me halfway clear headed around someone like you.”

“Magic is a funny thing.” I say reaching up to touch it, both him and Sam looking shocked.

“It keeps the wearer protected. It doesn't harm me any. Just keeps my “negative” energy from clouding your mind.”

“So if we take them off you can control us?” Sam asks moving to sit on the other side of me.

“Not exactly. I can make you want me so bad you can stand it. But I can’t make you go out and kill someone.”

“I think we’ll keep them on.” He says looking me up and down.

“Of course, I can feed just fine with them on, that is if you boys ever get around to doing anything.”

“Like what?” Dean asks making me turn to look at him.

Smirking I move closer to him only stopping a few inches from his face.

“Whatever you want.”

I smirk when he presses his lips to mine, the taste of bourbon filling my mouth. Wrapping my arms around his neck I kiss him back getting a rush of energy as I start to feed from him. Feeling him pull my closer, a moan leaving his mouth I pull away from him.

“Easy now.” I say smiling at him.

“What the fuck was that?” He asks his green eyes meeting mine.

“That was me feeding.”

“But I liked it.”

“Well duh, kissing me is the only thing your gonna wanna do.”

“I thought I would painful.”

“Sex demon remeber, sex feels good.”

“So do you still need to…” Sam asks pulling my attention away from his brother.

“Feed? Yes, that was like eating one fry out of the bag only makes you want the whole meal.”

“You won’t kill us?”

“Cross my heart big guy.” I say smiling as Sam moves closer bending down to my level.

“One of us will kill you if do.” He says his mouth almost brushing.

“Oh I would love to see that.”

He doesn't respond only closing the gap between us. I tangle my fingers in his hair as I kiss him back letting out a moan as I feel his energy flow into me. I leave my other hand on the back of Dean’s head as he moves in to leave kisses on my neck.

I let them push me down to my back Dean’s hand running up my thigh as Sam pulls away from me making me whine.

“You taste like wine.” Sam says making me giggle.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why is that funny?”

“I thought she tasted like pie.” Dean says.

“That’s why. I taste like whatever you crave.”

“Didn’t expect that.”

“You don’t expect a lot of things do you?” I ask turning to Dean.

He shrugs leaning back to press his lips to mine, him squeezing my thigh, his other hand digging into my hair to pull me closer to him.

I pace myself careful not to take too much from him as I feel Sam kiss over my shoulder and down my chest. I smile as Sam pulls down the straps of my dress.

I wasn’t wearing anything underneath so it was easy for him to get to my breast him leaving kisses over it then my nipple. I gasp when he bites down on it making a rush go threw me both from the act and pulling more energy from Dean.

I pull away from him, his eyes dark and heavy.

“How ya feeling?” I ask him.

“Never better.” He says trying to kiss me again.

“Hold up there I don’t want to eat you up at once. Learn to share.” I say moving to pull Sam up and press my mouth to his.

“I hate sharing.” Dean says sounding like he was pouting him moving down to my chest.

I moan when pulls my dress down and starts sucking on my other nipple, his hand sliding up higher. I dig my fingers into Sam’s hair.

I don’t resist as Dean pushes my legs apart his hand easily finding my bare mound. I start to undress Sam trying to keep myself from letting go and draining him I move to kiss down his neck. Sucking on his skin I unbutton his shirt finding that he’s even more in shape then his brother.

I run my hands over his chest kissing my down. Dean moving with me him moving between my legs.

“Well someone is happy to please.” I say moaning as he starts to lick my clit.

“Yeah well what about you?” Sam asks his voice deeper.

I smirk looking up at him, his waist inches from my face. He’s jean’s not doing much to hide what’s waiting underneath.

“I’m always happy to please.” I say smirking at him and start to unbuckle his belt.

I make quick work of his jeans and boxers smiling when I freed his cock. Taking him into my mouth I feel his pulse as I wrap my hand around the base of his cock. He lets out a moan as I start to suck softly bobbing my head up and down. He grabs a handful of my hair and starts to thrusts into my mouth. I match his slow pace but gasp when I Dean push a finger inside of me.

I lose my train of thought for a second as he pumps his finger in and out of me, him still licking my clit as he pushes a second finger into me.

Sam tightens his grip on my hair reminding me of what I should be focused on. I go back to doing what I was doing, sucking on his cock only this time I suck harder and move my head faster

He lets out another moan him using his arm to move my head up and down. I don’t mind it making me hotter as he uses me. He clearly seems to enjoy it too his cock seeming to grow in my mouth. I use my tongue to rub the underside of his cock that seeming to push him over the edge.

I smile feeling him start to cum in my mouth the salty taste being the best thing I could ever have. I easily swallow all of it feeling a rush corse threw me. Sam holding my head tight to him as wave after wave of his seed fills my mouth.

When he’s finished I pull away from him and lick my lips.

“See your not dead.” I say smiling at him.

He smiles down at me and nods. He takes a shaky breath running his fingers through his hair.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” He says sitting up.

“Good more for me.” Dean says pulling away from me.

“Jerk.” Sam says pulling up his pants and walking to the bathroom.

“Bitch.” Dean says just as Sam closes the door.

“Do I wanna know?” I ask as Dean crawls up my body to hold himself over me.

“No.” He says moving his head down to take one of my nipples into his mouth.

I moan reaching down to remove his belt. Once I unbuttoned his jeans he pushed them down just enough to free his cock.

I didn’t mind we he pushed himself inside me I was as ready as he was. I moan when he starts thrusting into me him leaving bite marks along my chest and stomach.

I wrap my arms around him him pulling my leg up to hook around his hip as his pace picks up. It doesn't take long before we are both spilling over the edge. Him moaning loudly.

He falls over to the side laying next to me as he catches his breath.

“That was awesome.”

I giggle and nod my head turning to look at him.

“Yes it was.” I say feeling like I was practically buzzing.

“So you can keep from killing anyone?”

“Yes, both you and Sam will be a bit tried for the next few days but you’ll be fine.”

“And you?”

“And I’ll go run a marathon or something.” I say smiling earning one back.

Sitting up I start to fix my dress just at the bathroom door opens, Sam coming out dressed in a towel.

“Hi there.” I say standing up.

“Where are you going?” The both ask making me giggle.

“Well home of course. I’ll swing by tomorrow to help you boys as promised.” I say picking up my jacket and putting it on.

“But, I mean you can stay.” Sam says making me smile.

“Yeah he’s right it’s late.” Dean says as I reach the door.

“Now, now boys.” I say opening the door and turning to look at them.

“You know what they say, Don’t start a bad habit and you never have to quit.” I say winking at them then closing the door, leaving them with a night they won’t forget.

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