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h4rring1on · 2 years

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eddie and reader being bestfriends and reader has liked eddie for a while but he likes chrissy

reader tries confessing but eddie tells them how he only sees reader as a friend and he likes chrissy

it ruins their friendship and reader doesnt go to school for a while and eddie starts to regret it

one time chrissy was at his trailer and eddie was trying to impress her with his guitar skills or something but he thought of reader bcz he never needed for him to impress reader bcs reader loved him anyways

warnings: none! tell me if i missed something tho!

pairing: eddie munson x reader

a/n: this sucked forhejehekheoend

childhood.

you’ve known eddie throughout your entire childhood. ever since that day you sat on the swings in the first grade, you didn’t know anyone.

until someone sat on the swing next to you, introducing himself as eddie munson, but he always used to say

‘call me whatever you want, but you cannot, and i mean cannot, call me edward!’

you called him that all the time, he was in 3rd grade and you were in first, yet you still found yourself helping him with his math homework and he couldn’t even help with yours!

he protected you your whole life, from anyone. you remember the first time, you were playing on the swing with eddie as usual, and jason carver came over and pushed you, you scraped your knee and started to cry

‘haha! what a loser’ jason would say, and eddie would punch him

that’s what started eddie’s bad reputation, because he was always fighting for you.

he then would go home with you, and clean your knee

‘stop crying’ he’d say and you would pout, ‘i’ll get you a cherry lollipop’

he had made a mental note that day that cherry lollipops, or lollies as you would call them, were your favorite

this how your life was going, with your soulmate for life. you two made a vow to never ever leave each other. and you didn’t.

even when he failed senior year twice, and got called a freak, and was the town’s sinner, you never left his side. you’d always go back to that swing set, and talk for hours, just you and him, swinging while holding hands

not romantically! because you two were just friends.

you grew out of the friends phase, and had started to like him, you kept it to yourself, seeing as eddie liked chrissy, but you wanted to confess

that’s how it went downhill.

‘oh…’ he said and you just knew, you screwed up. ‘but i like chrissy’

‘right! of course! chrissy! i know—i was just joking anyway—forget about it—“

“wait—“

“i gotta get home…haha. my mom is gonna freak if i don’t so…’

eddie couldn’t remember the last time he saw you. he could have reacted in a better way

‘but i like chrissy’ he said in a demeaning tone

why would he say it like that? why would he make you feel so stupid and annoying because you just ruined the best relationship you’ve ever had.

you didn’t come back to school for a while, your mother couldn’t care any less and your dad wasn’t around anyway. eddie wanted to come over to talk, but you clearly looked like you didn’t want anything to do with him

but in reality, you felt the opposite. you wanted to go give him a big hug and tell him to forget about it. but you couldn’t, because he was never going to forget.

chrissy started talking to him more, and eddie tried distracting himself with her, chrissy was sweet, she was the perfect girl.

but perfect wasn’t what he wanted.

right? but—he likes chrissy. he made it very clear to you that he likes chrissy so he couldn’t…he couldn’t just say that and not like her

it was all so weird to him, chrissy used to make him feel so warm and happy, she used to make him smile and brought out the best in him, why wasn’t that happening now?

the next week or so felt like a blur to him, he would just talk to chrissy and go home, thinking about you, he still hadn’t seen you.

he thought it was gonna be fine, and that he was gonna be with chrissy and it’ll all be okay. until one time, chrissy actually came over to his trailer, and eddie was gonna play his guitar for her

it was all normal, he was playing it and she was listening, but as he played, the sudden realization hit him.

the only chrissy used to make him so happy, is because when he’d talk to her, he’d go to you, and you’d go to the swings and talk about. the only reason he felt so warm and was his best self was because he was excited to come see you and tell you about it

the only reason everything was so weird now, is because of you. you were the one who made things brighter, you made him feel better, who gave him the confidence he now lacks

you were the one who’d love him for him, not for his guitar, not for the millions of gifts, not for the amount of times he‘d do whatever you want, you loved him for him.

unlike chrissy, who would only talk to him if she got something in return.

when he looked at chrissy, he imagined it was you, you who supported him through everything.

and now, after all those years, he sits on the swings, alone.

he needed to fix this.

#stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie my love <3

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spacexseven · 2 years

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(2/4 sorry realized dazais was super long split it into two its 4 parts now) ur sooooooo right about dazai and this scenario SO right the fucking bastard probably does this to randoms for fun on the weekends. sidenote im going with mafia dazai for this just cuz he has more room to be Evil and i also dont think kunikida would allow ANY of these antics if he was there. warning hes gonna be SUUUPER mean i kinda softboy-ed aku but i cant bring myself to do the same to dazai </3

darling is just some civilian with ties to an enemy syndicate or works somewhere they need access to as an average employee with a convenient amount of security clearance, no one really that special on paper, and he’s pissed. he’s stuck with some no-name loser for the foreseeable future? how demeaning. this work is so beneath him as an executive, can’t he make one of his subordinates do it?

he’s amazing at the flirty coworker persona, and even BETTER at the loving boyfriend schtick. scarily so, when you consider that he spends a lot of his downtime thinking about how much you bore him and he cant wait to get rid of you. similar to what he does to chuuya in wan, every perceived slight you commit against him is put down to paper so he can get his appropriate vengeance when the time comes. you hummed and it got on his nerves, he’ll be sure to break your jaw. you touched his hand today, for that he’ll rip your fingernails off one by one. stuff like that.

he starts to warm up to you as time goes on. the surefire way to dazai’s heart is to give him unselfish care. something as small as packing him something for lunch since he only eats crab out of a can; to something as big as nursing him through a drug or alcohol induced stupor after one of his many attempts on his own life. he wakes up the next morning clean, comfortable, and with a very minimal headache due to the cold washcloth you put on his head. why did you bother doing that?

yea i don't think ada dazai could do half these things and get away with it either so we'll stick to pm dazai!! i do have a question tho, can you find crab in a can? is it edible?? it sounds strange to me i only eat tuna (lol) out of a can...lol this got much longer than i planned for, sorry in advance!!

cw: yandere character, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, unhealthy relationships, toxic relationships, dazai is an asshole, mentions of violence and murder, manipulation, deceit, emotional abuse, jealousy, kidnapping, imprisonment.

ask continued: (3/4) good news: he’s attached now! at the hip! hes a little obvious, really. dazais always flirty, but now hes CLINGY. and JEALOUS. he seemed so Above being affectionate or possessive of you, before. much too self-confident, you supposed. but now you’re lucky if you can manage to get out of bed without having to escape the IRONCLAD GRIP hes got you in, and do NOT even get me STARTED on how he reacts to ANYONE so much as looking at you! you’re his! his his his his HIS! you both love each other, so you belong to one another! simple as that!

bad news: you have recently figured out that you shouldve been scared of him. of course, you find his little notebook, and something inside of you is SCREAMING at you to read it, and what you find shatters your view of him forever. you brushed off the really weird vibe you got from him initially, cuz he was so nice! attentive! you never really got attention like that from anyone before, it was all too easy for him to get you caught up. stupid stupid stupid.

worse news: he notices, when you start to pull away from him. you’re making excuses not to see him, not to sleep in the same bed as him. you get all stiff when he gets too close to you, and you wont kiss him back. doesnt take him long to figure out what happened. takes him even less time to come up with a plan to make sure you cant run away from him. don’t be scared, he loves you so much! he’ll show you how sorry he is for saying all those mean things!

it's not like dazai was new to the whole leech-out-information-from-an-unsuspecting-victim-and-kill-them-after routine, but he definitely didn't like this part of his job. it's so terribly boring as compared to his go-to way of getting information (interrogations! torture! shorter and less effort needed!) it takes too much effort to make sure his target likes him enough to lower their guard around him and spoonfeed him the information he needs. it takes even longer to safely send back acquired information to the pm without anyone suspecting him to be the mole, and usually these missions take months if not years. he doesn't want to invest to much time in something like this, especially when he knows his target is the most boring person to walk upon this planet.

if he was assigned to the leader of some crime syndicate, or maybe the secret mastermind behind a revolution, or even a top-level military agent, he might find the thrill somewhat entertaining. after all, there's something quite wonderful in wrapping an untouchable person around his finger.

but you...

you were painfully ordinary. he understood why it had to be you, a somewhat 'regular' member of the ability group, trusted enough to have access to information that would be useful, but not too high up in the ranks. not to mention, you would eventually be moved up and allowed access into even more highly guarded secrets. if he didn't get to you now, he might never get you at all. if you were too important you'd never trust anyone, and you'd be too paranoid to let slip even seemingly unimportant details. it had to be you, and now.

and he was good at his job. he was charming but not suspiciously so, and not so well known that he would be identified. still, as he watched you before his infiltration had officially started, he realized that you were a fool. too trusting, too smiling, and far too friendly. even akutagawa would have been suited for this job, you wouldn't have suspected a thing. maybe you'd even like the whole grumbling outcast thing he had going on. but no matter how much he whined or complained or groaned, nothing was done about it. he was stuck with you until he finished the mission.

it was probably his hatred towards you that caused him to act so recklessly, and moving the relationship so quickly—from strangers to moving in together within a month. it wasn't hard to have you eating right out of his hand, with some saccharine smiles and soft looks, gentle stroking and—you practically had stars in your eyes. what a fool, he thought, ignoring how the softening of his eyes when you cheerfully ran into his arms happened somewhat naturally. you must have been desperate if you so eagerly accepted his sudden advances.

he still hated you, of course. he recorded your wrongdoings so he could unleash his fury later, when you were no longer of use. that time you ran your fingers through his hair, he swore to break each and every bone in your hand. and when you dragged him out on dates he planned out the appropriate punishment, same as when you touched him or kissed him or smiled up at him with so much warmth it made him sick—you made him sick, and you'd pay for that, eventually.

surprisingly, despite his overall sleazy and cruel demeanor—he never paid for dates (even though he was given the funds), and never bought you presents after the third one. he never initiated any physical affection, and straight up ignored your calls sometimes—after you were officially dating you still seemed to like him. you probably idolized him, after being starved of affection for so long. any crumb of affection he gave you, whether it was a fake smile or a stiff pat, you'd eagerly eat up. it was so pathetic he almost felt bad for you. even know, this relationship wasn't real, but you were a fool who thought you found love. not like this arrangement was anything you should be mourning.

were you hoping he'd turn back to the charming guy you met all those weeks ago? did you really have no clue that you fell in love with a lie? or maybe, you just couldn't comprehend someone using you. after all, you weren't very wealthy or connected to anyone influential. all you had was your job, and that was meaningless to most people. perhaps you thought he was most people, because it was so easy to get things out of you. at night, when the two of you were awkwardly lying down in bed, he just had to roll over, throw an arm around you and whisper into your ear, asking about your day. and then everything came pouring out. you weren't so stupid as to directly admit you worked for an ability organization, but the details were still correct. you'd tell him about the planning you had to do for a company event nearby, and just as you said, a week later the group he was targeting was there for something. it was so easy, now, to intercept all their plans. you were annoying but...somewhat useful.

and then...it happened.

dazai didn't realize there had been a last-minute change in plans. your group had come onto the meeting spot earlier than you had said they would be, and he was caught red-handed inside the building. to his surprise, you, without even stopping to consider his intentions, immediately shot up to defend him, excusing him saying that he probably just stopped by to visit you. your coworkers relaxed and slowly agreed. they, too, thought dazai didn't know about the 'company' you worked for, and thought he was just being a considerate boyfriend. it couldn't be farther from the truth, but he didn't care what they thought.

you saved him.

and it wasn't the only time, either. there were the times you've nursed him back to health after yet another one of his stupid stunts, the times you've waited hours for him to turn up for a date, complaining but never actually mad, the times you've made him something to eat, knowing he didn't care much about eating healthy. it infuriated him how genuinely selfless you were, even to an asshole like him.

you cared about him, like you cared for everyone else in your life, even though he knew he didn't deserve it. it was so nice, though, as much as he hated admitting it, to be cared for. to be looked after and loved genuinely despite his shortcomings. sometimes he wondered if you'd only love him more if he cleaned up his act. the more you smiled at him and gently nudged him awake and asked him if he ate and showed him things you thought he'd like, the more he realized he was getting a little attached to you.

and then, he came to a decision.

you were far too nice to him for him to just leave you to die after this mission. and you were far too kind to have such a terrible boyfriend. he could at least try to completely win you over now before you inevitably found out about his true intentions and then, you'd really hate him since he would have killed your friends. he decided you would stay with him, regardless of how the mission went.

he probably should have considered your confusion when your usually aloof boyfriend suddenly became a completely new person. you'd wake up and get ready to leave when an arm suddenly wraps around you and dazai whines at you about not leaving. whines! the same man who'd rarely say a word to you until breakfast was acting so...clingy all of a sudden, though you'd be lying if you said you hated it. suddenly your days were filled with constant kissing and an arm always around you, dazai showing up at your workplace more often to grab lunch with you and boldly flirting with you. sure, there was something quite terrifying about the way he glared at your coworkers, his eyes so blank it was eerie, but you forgot all about it once he snuggled into your neck and placed a kiss on your collarbone.

and then there was his insistence that you were being overworked when he normally wouldn't have cared what time you came home, as long as you did come home, going so far as to contacting your boss to demand you get more time off. of course, everyone laughed it off as your boyfriend simply being concerned for your health and your boss complied, shortening your hours and granting you a long overdue break. your life was just so perfect now. and to think you were worried about him wanting to break up. whenever you asked dazai why he was suddenly so expressive, however, he would only give you a vague answer about realizing it was unfair of him to let out his anger by treating you coldly and wanting to fix things. because, as he said so often, he loved you.

"nobody could love you as much as i do," he would say, "seriously, i think i could die in my love for you. you're everything to me and i love you so much."

maybe you should have noticed how...intense his feelings were then,

it all came crashing down one day when you saw a text on his phone—someone asking him to gather more information about the ability users in the group you were in. he wasn't supposed to know about that, and by the looks of it, he had been using you to steal intel the entire time. though you felt stupid now, you were more concerned about how you could put an end to it now, especially because you were in so deep with him. at least a while back you could have quickly ended things with him using the reason of being a terrible partner, but now, it would only raise suspicion with him and your coworkers. how were you to explain your boyfriend had been spying on you the entire time to anyone? what would they do to you, and worse yet, what was he planning to do to you once he had no use for you?

the only logical thing to do, in your eyes, was to slowly drift away and eventually break things off with him. his only source of information would be closed then, and you would be safe. the problem was, it was pretty much impossible to leave him. he was always by your side, held you tight as you slept, dropped you off at work and even knew all your friends. how were you supposed to explain to anyone that your boyfriend was going to kill you once he destroyed your group?

as you already figured out, dazai wasn't stupid. it was about time you found out, but now his plans had changed. no more killing you. he could keep you with him permanently now, after forcing you to quit. he didn't need your help anymore for the next part of the plan, which only required him to eradicate the group since they weren't willing to comply to the port mafia's demands. it wasn't like he expected you to sit down and hear him out after finding out he was sort of using you all along, but still, it hurt when you scowled at him and screamed at him. oh well. he could figure it out.

as he smiled down at your bound figure, your eyes wide at the blood soaking his coat, realizing what he had just done, he decided he would stop at nothing to convince you of how much he loved you.

really, he wouldn't trade this for the world.

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fagcrisis · 5 months

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nah, I totally get where you're coming from, but it's not necessarily something wrong with the kids- I'm a software tutor, and it's been getting.... bad, at least in the usa. it's not their fault, but society has become so tech-saturated that lot of schools literally have stopped teaching kids basic computer knowledge anymore, and assume they'll have picked it up intuitively, and so do their parents. but it's not intuitive, it's a skill like any other. and a lot of the kids are post-zoom era, which you'd think would make them more tech-literate, but no one was beside them looking at their computers to teach them, and they wound up with at least a year's gap of educational neglect in general as well. it's gotten... weird. the kids get by, cause a lot of tech is just 'push a button' now, and they soak up the new information like the little freak sponges they are, but quite often no one has sat down with them and explained jack shit before ....that being said, the amount of grown adults I have to explain that 'no, if you don't save the file it won't exist when you close the file' on a daily basis to is... so high. soooo high. people are unbelievably stupid

but then again, I can only speak to one form of educational system, so truly, who the fuck am I lmao

idk like, ive worked with kids and based on my experience theyre just kind of fucking stupid i say this w all the love in my heart but u take the smartest kid ive ever worked with n ask them a basic fuckin question and theyll just go huh bc thats how kids r i think this is less "the youth of today has smth wrong with them" and more the usual thing where a generation gets 9lder and starts teaching and interacting w kids and realize kids r kinda fucking stupid. we have a huge scare abt how the latest generation cant do this or that every ten years and its fine every time. kids get older and they learn shit.even if u got a teenager thats kinda fucking stupid they can still learn. also just like u said a lotta fucking adults r also tech illiterate as shit so i think this is more demographic based and not age based. kids whose parents r good w computers or who have access to some sort of education abt computers will learn that shit. also some places have more of a culture of fostering this shit like here piracy counts as basic tech literacy i think and that migjt not be the case in other places

anyway the reason these posts annoy me bc i used to see all this posting abt how well b the genrration who isnt a cunt to kids and doesnt demean them and now 10 yrs later yall r doing that shit like u were also kind of fucking stupid as a kid and adults were probs freaking out about how u cant even read and now ur an adult n ur fine. also if kids cant do smth its not their fault its the fault of every adult around them so in any case stop talking abt how kids r tech illiterate itll be fine calm down. most of yall dont even have kids n if ya do teach them computers

#rumini a zúzmaragyarmaton

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swe3troses · 10 months

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🌊Lana's thoughts

What is so beautiful about the barbie movie? Why do people cry to it? Mostly women? Here is my two cents. The new babrbie movie which was directed by the phenomenal Greta Gerwig is maybe one of the most powerful movies in 2023. Great Gerwig has a way with portraying women in a way that doesnt demean them in any way. For example her film little women (2019) showed four different women who all had different views and aspirations in life's yet they were all amazing role models and likeable characters, this is why I believe her directing is so amazing. With that context out the way it is now time to talk about the barbie movie. Barbie, who has been the face of dolls for centuries, when I came into this movie I thought it was going to be a comedy movie about Barbie getting lost in the real world and that was it. I was surprised to see that it was nothing like that and instead a film about women and patriarchy. It made me... So sad. For example in one of the scenes stereotypical Barbie is sitting on a bench trying to think about who is holding her and her memories, In that scene there is an old women sitting on a bench, this may seem irrelevant but Barbie while crying turns to her and says 'you're beautiful' Now why is this relevant? Aging in our society is seen as a curse. Now Barbie does not have to worry about aging as she is a 'doll' why is this relevant? This shows Barbie's way of thinking and the beauty of aging. While Barbie did not know the concept in our society of how old age is not beautiful, it shows us how fascinated Barbie is with aging this establishes early on in her need for a more less than ordinary life. While this does not discuss the concept that I want to conclude too, I did it was important to include as this talks about women and how aging is deemed as a curse mostly directed towards women, as in our society, age is beauty. Now on to my next piece of evidence... The scene in the movie where the mom makes that speech. For lack of better word I do not know the mom's name but I will get to that in the next part, I am not making this as formal as I would an actual essay as this is just a silly essay about a movie I liked.

#barbie 2023 #the barbie movie #barbie movie 2023 #barbenheimer

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whydoifeelthisquiet · 4 years

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!!! this really spoke to me !!!

#abby doesnt shut up #<3 needed this #i’m learning it’s okay if you can’t just ‘change your attitude’ espesh while struggling mentally.#if you are struggling it DOES NOT make you any less...we’ll learn together <3 so proud of you #a poorly written outdated quote like this is so demeaning and i’m proud of you no matter if your days are good or bad <3 #also...#sanctimonious IS MY NEW FAVORITE WORD! always love new vocab

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beebfreeb · 3 years

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OBSESSED with how you draw the addisons. Can we please get some of your takes about them? I love them!

HI YOU HAVE ACTIVATED Loves To Write The Most Awful Siblings BRAIN. referring 2 them as their colors tho bc 4 some reason i am embarrassed that i named them </3

putting this under a read more because it got. very long.

THE PINK ONE. i think i think. she and spamton got along very well and also got into a LOT of fights at the same time. she shared a lot of her interests w spamton (they both have vehicles + robotics special interest so much.) and similar senses of humor (would watch ytps and tf2 sfm videos if those existed in. pre-1997) and as long as they didnt bring up Work or Sales or Advertising or Jobs or Anything Like That they would not get into any big fights !!!!

however she is very work oriented </3 firm believer in It's not that hard, you can do it if you just Try. and also the most likely to hold a grudge and judge other people for being Too Sensitive and thinks handouts/help is demeaning. one of those bastards who doesnt sleep and only eats sugar + caffeinated beverages and brags about it and how much work she gets done all the time. she used to lock spamton in the pantry as a joke and still doesnt get why he's upset about that.

BLUE blue is really nice and friendly and loves to take care of their family except also. they completely and fullheartedly believed that spamton was not going to end up with any success at all. and spent most of their time trying to "soften the blow". they obsessively avoid all conflict and tension and end up not letting anything Happen or Get Done in order to avoid an argument. they generally get along with everyone but its almost impossible to have a serious conversation with them about anything.

they're the least likely to outright lie but. they'd still try to guilt you into buying a stick they picked up off the ground.

i do not have much 2 say about the yellow one because i think. personality-wise he is similar to pink (thinks spamton isn't trying hard enough + very work focused) but, way less friendly w the other addisons. they are just not Around a lot and don't really know how to talk to the other addisons without being very detached + customer service-y.

orange just likes to lie to people. he thinks it's REALLY funny that you can say anything entirely untrue anytime you want. will not hesitate to scam or make that fine print REALLY small and vague. pink + yellow think he is barely trying. they are not wrong. he's the only one that views spamton w. actual respect. and not as Aw Weird Baby Salesman Who Can't/Won't Do His Fucking Job

spamton tried to pick up sewing when orange did but he never got the hang of it the way orange did

was the only one actually Initially Proud of spamton instead of Shocked and Confused and A Little Jealous <3

pink + yellow + blue get along with each other fairly well, they all see each other on the same level, but pink + yellow tend to argue a lot (both are just Like That) and blue does NOT fucking care for it. pink thinks arguments are fun. yellow is just sort of bad at having relationships with people.

blue + pink also both view spamton as being on their side, blue views pink as being too Rough on orange + spam, pink sees blue as being incredibly babying and overly sensitive.

subconsciously pink + blue + yellow see orange on a more similar level to them because he just happened to act/look more like them.

every single one of them are incapable of asking for help and expressing sincerity and vulnerability <3

#sidriel shush #deltarune addisons #pink addison #blue addison #yellow addison #orange addison #spamton addison #deltarune #HEHE HEHE #beebfreeb art tag #ms paint #basically spamtons deal is that he has the curse of being autistic and short.#and when you have that nobody treats you normally.

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stickyy · 3 years

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I loved what you wrote about student! college! aizawa,if it's not too much trouble,I would like to read a second part but it contains a sub!aizawa,dom!reader,mommy kink and pegging please. I have to take advantage of the fact that you are the first blog with dark content that I see that accepts pegging,an opportunity that I will not miss,but if it gets complicated for you oh you don't like it,you can reject my request.

DISCLAIMER: always ask for consent first!

warnings: DUBCON, sub!aizawa, edging, verbal abuse, bondage, pegging, gn!reader but light mommy kink is used in reference to, praise kink if you squint?, slightly unrealistic depictions of pegging, reader is fed up but that doesnt excuse their actions :P

word count: 3489

notes: sorry for the delay, i hope u like anon! :D there should always be more pegging fic out there

part 1 here

EXAM SEASON

Finals season is quickly approaching, sending the entire campus into a frenzy, students scrambling like displaced ants trying to finish last minute assignments, novel-esque essays, merciful extra credit projects. The workload takes its toll on everyone, even the star students. You found Aizawa in even worse moods more frequently; a schedule consisting of all nighters spent studying old material followed by early classes and a job on the side, he was absolutely exhausted. You sometimes sneak a peek over at him during class to see his head bobbing slightly, bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open as he fights sleep. A small part of you feels bad for him; he’s a diligent student, and you were sympathetic to his exhaustion.

You still hate the asshole, though.

You found yourself snagged in a twisted sort of arrangement with Aizawa after midterms. There was always a half-assed attempt at tutoring you before giving up and cramming his cock down your throat or deep inside your cunt, leaving you sore and dripping with his cum, all the while spewing insults targeted at your intelligence (or lack thereof). In exchange, he’d complete your assignments and allow you to copy his answers on exam days. Ignoring the situation is where you make peace with yourself; you feel used, but you also have no other option if you want to pass this class.

What you hate the most is the way you roll over and take it. You’re more than just a hole to fuck, you know that, but you’re helpless against his searing abuse and venomous scowls. Even when you try to be nice, it only makes him crueler, your soft pleas and offers of peace an invitation to tear you down and make you cry. You want to fight, to claw and tear into him out of spite. You don’t want to feel so weak anymore.

So, you decide to do something about it.

It’s late, campus illuminated by street lamps and headlights of cars passing by as you make your way into the dorms. After your first encounter, Aizawa began inviting you back to his room instead of the library, deciding to “study” in his personal space as opposed to possibly getting caught in the library with his cock down your throat. You didn’t complain, but it’s especially convenient today, with what you have planned. Knocking on the door softly, you worry your bottom lip between your teeth, anxious for what’s to come.

“Open,” he calls out from inside, prompting you to enter. You pass through the messy common room he shares with his roommate and enter his bedroom, opening the door quietly. Aizawa’s room is tidy compared to the outside, bed made, tousled only where he sits with his laptop, typing.

“You’re late,” he squints at you from behind the screen, shutting the device. “Not surprising.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, placing your book bag on the floor and taking out the very heavy law textbook (that you hadn’t bothered to open since midterms). You take your seat next to him and open to the most recent chapter you read over. He’s silent, only speaking to answer your questions as you focus on the text. You can tell he’s sleepy, his responses slurred and delayed, and you glance over to see him dozing off. Late study sessions and Aizawa’s recent exhaustion meant more often than not that he fell asleep before tormenting you. The first time was startling, but you learned that it was a regular occurrence.

You prefer Aizawa when he’s drowsy. His usually hard features were softened, quiet snores rumbling from his chest. His dark hair messily framing his face as he leans back against the headboard of his bed, arms folded over his chest. He’s good-looking, no doubt. If his personality matched, you could see yourself falling for him.

His eyes open, shooting you a questioning look, and you duck your head back into your textbook, embarrassed at being caught staring.

You keep quiet for another 20 or so minutes, waiting until he’s truthfully asleep and not just resting. You have to be careful not to wake him, as you aren’t keen on being reprimanded for what you're about to do.

Once you’ve deemed it safe, you stealthily open your bag and retrieve the small plastic bag stored inside. With the help of online shopping, you bought some handcuffs, lube, a dildo, and a harness. You aren’t all into pegging, but this was less about the sex and more about proving yourself, forcing him to respect you, in some perverse way. You retrieve the cuffs, gripping them carefully as to not make any sounds. This is the most crucial part; as long as you could get him restrained, you’d could dish out any revenge you desire. You slip off of the bed and tip-toe, almost comically, around the other side of the bed. You test the waters, snapping your fingers near Aizawa. He doesn’t stir, chest rising and falling with his deep breathing.

You steel yourself with a deep breath; this was your chance. You make quick work with the handcuffs, gently yet hastily clicking the metal around one wrist and looping the cuffs through the headboard before securing his other wrist. A grin spreads across your face; you’re thankful he’s such a deep sleeper.

Now that you had him where you wanted him, you were paralyzed by the sheer amount of possibilities. You climb over him apprehensively, hovering over the unconscious man, who only shifts minutely. The peaceful look on his face puts a small pit in your stomach; this was wrong… right? Technically, this was assault. You frown, a small chill running down your spine. Is this what you had become? It was almost enough to convince you to stop, but you force yourself to remember the first time Aizawa had his way with you, the way you choked and gagged and had to hide your face until you could find a bathroom to wipe off the dried cum that adhered to your skin.

This was his fault; he made you like this.

“Fuck it,” you say aloud, bracing yourself before grabbing a handful of his hair and yanking, hard. He awakes with a surprised gasp, wrenching his head away from the assault.

“The fuck?” He bites, eyes drowsily scouring the situation. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just waking you up,” you smile, releasing your grip. “It’s kind of boring watching you sleep. I thought we were supposed to be studying.”

Aizawa gives you an agitated look, disoriented as he tries to move, only to find his range of motion limited. “You fucking handcuffed me?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe you didn’t wake up,” you chuckle, sliding your hands under his shirt and running your hands over his taut stomach. He keeps his eyes on you with an expectant expression, waiting for an explanation.

“You know, I like you so much more when you're asleep,” you continue, idly tracing patterns on the skin of his abdomen. “No insults, no curses, no glaring. You’re pretty handsome when you’re not being a total douchebag.”

“Let me go,” he ignores you, yanking the handcuffs. “This isn’t funny.”

“I think it’s pretty funny, actually. You’ve spent all semester treating me like shit, and for what? All I’ve done is be nice to you, even after you call me names and abuse me. It hurts my feelings, you know? It’s not like I’m trying to fail this class, I just needed a little extra help, and you take advantage of that every week. So I do think this is pretty fucking hilarious. Maybe you’ll see just how great I feel when you bully me.”

If looks could kill, your heart would have stopped right then and there. Rage burns behind his glare when he meets your eyes, still struggling to break the cuffs. You’d never seen him like this; at his worst, he seems moderately annoyed in your day to day. Despite being an insufferable asshole, he always manages to keep a cool air about him. Never giving anyone much of a reaction, he’s only nasty when he desires. Watching his face take a red tint and his eyes narrow in frustration send waves of satisfaction rippling through your chest.

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he grits out, “If you let me go now, I’ll forget all about this. I promise that you don’t want what’s coming for you once I get out of these cuffs.”

He did have a point; you had no idea what you were doing. That wasn’t going to stop you, though.

“Aw, it’s not so fun now, isn’t it?” You coo at him in a demeaning tone, pouting dramatically. Your wandering hands slid to his crotch, where you could feel his length stirring curiously. You bark out a laugh.

Pulling down his sweats and boxers, your mouth waters at his hardening length. Normally, your stomach would drop at the sight in anticipation for physical abuse you were about to receive. But this? This was different; knowing that you’re the one in control is absolutely captivating. You take his cock in your hands, slowly working your hand up and down. He stays silent in defiance, steady in his glare in an attempt to intimidate you. It would work, usually, but with his hands bound there was nothing he could do to you. He’s betrayed by a pleased noise that slips from his throat.

“Don’t tell me you like this? You want to be taken advantage of, is that it?” you taunt, basking in his agitation as you speed your hand up, thumbing the pre gathering on the slit.

“Watch it,” is his only response, voice dangerously low. He keeps quiet, not willing to surrender to the reactions you’re trying to draw from him. It’s a challenge, if anything, and you weren’t going to back down..

He’s fully erect in no time- you’ve spent enough time as his cocksleeve to know exactly what he likes and responds to. His eyes fall shut as you squeeze tighter, hips canting up into your hand, chasing his own release. You keep it up until he gets a little louder, close to release, and you pull your hand away, watching his dick twitch helplessly.

“Fuck- why’d you stop?” he asks groggily, opening his eyes.

“You didn’t think that I was just going to let you cum that easily, did you? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” you shuffle off of the bed, smiling over your shoulder as you hook your thumbs in the band of your leggings. You make a show of sliding the material down over your ass, purposefully leaning over and arching your back. You hear a pleased growl from the bed, causing you to giggle as you pull your underwear down as well.

“You could still let me go,” he offers, giving you a once over as you climb back over him, “I could forget about this if you let me fuck you.”

“Nice try, but I’ll be the one doing the fucking tonight,” you grab your bag from the floor, retrieving the lube but leaving the dildo and harness obscured in the bag. You squeeze a generous amount onto your fingers, causing Aizawa to give you a puzzled look.

“You don’t need lube, you’re always so wet for me,” it’s more of a question than an observation, since your previous trysts never included anything but his spit and your own juices. You just give him a smile before nudging his thighs open with your own, trailing your hand slowly beneath his balls, settling in between his ass and your lubed fingers circle the muscle there. The look on his face is priceless, absolutely shocked at the prospect of you inside of him. He thrashes in protest but you’re steadfast, pinning his hips down with your other hand.

“You can’t be serious,” his voice is alarmed, almost erring on the side of anxious, “you’re dumber than I thought if you think you’re just going to get away with any of this shit.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?” you sing-song, using your dry hand to tug playfully on the cuffs, “You’re a little tied up at the moment.”

“I’m going to beat your cunt up when I get out of these,” it’s a threat, and you ignore the way your stomach flutters at the words, eyes trained on his as you push two fingers inside.

He grunts, his face scrunching up, almost cutely, at the burn of the stretch. You expected him to be tight, but given how tense he is, it’s difficult to push all the way inside. You take it slow, savoring the pained expression on his face; it’s a stark contrast to his cocky demeanor when you’re being subjugated to his abuse. His chest is heaving, a lovely red flush spreading across his skin, eyebrows knit tight, lips bitten red- you’re obsessed. You move your fingers in and out slowly, scissoring just gently enough not to seriously hurt him, but enough to watch him writhe. His dick twitches despite (or maybe due to?) the pain, still red and dripping.

“This is priceless,” you laugh, “if you wanted to get fucked so badly, all you had to do was ask, you know? Mommy would’ve taken care of it for you.”

“Mommy?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes, “you’re insane.”

Any further insult is cut off with a sharp gasp, eyes shooting open in shock, and you know you’ve found it.

You stroke his prostate with a heavy hand, grinding your fingers into the spongy spot inside of him as he struggles to breathe, back arching deliciously. You can’t help but smirk; you kind of get it now. If this is how tormenting you makes Aizawa feel, then you understand why he was so cruel.

“Fuck,” he chokes on a whine that sends heat down your spine, . Your wrist is beginning to strain, but you can’t bring yourself to care. It’s cute; he’s writhing, his hips seeking the stimulation he was previously avoiding as he moans openly, loudly. His cock is an angry purple, pre pooling on his stomach from where it’s leaking. He looks like he’s close, eyes beginning to roll back when you pull your fingers out, laughing as you ruin his orgasm for the second time.

“Please,” he’s breathless, a betrayed look on his face as his hips rock on nothing, desperate to cum.

“Begging already? We haven’t even gotten started yet!”

You reach over into the plastic bag, pulling out the dildo and harness. You can clearly see the fear on his face this time as he moves to sit up, the fog of pleasure clearing quickly.

“Wait,” panic sets in his voice yet again. If you were him, you would be scared too; the toy is thicker than the two fingers you used, something you chose purposefully. You stand and slip on the harness, ignoring his attempts to reason with you.

“What’s wrong? I thought I didn’t know what I was doing?” you ask innocently, forcing your hips between his legs and drizzling some lube on the toy, warming it up with your palm.

“That’s the fucking problem, you idiot, you don’t,” he seethes, pulling on the restraints again, “It won’t fit, and you’re not sending me to the hospital.”

“Exactly, I won’t send you to the hospital. Mommy’s gonna take good care of you,” you coo, settling between his legs.

“Just let me go,” it’s the first genuine plea you’ve heard from him, the sincerity pulling your attention to his eyes where you see a look you can’t quite place. He looks… afraid? Remorseful? It’s enough to give you pause, equal parts consideration and schadenfreude. You settle for leaning forward and placing an uncharacteristically saccharine kiss on his forehead, your humanity getting the best of you.

“All you have to do is relax, okay?” you whisper, resting the tip of the toy against his entrance. He shuts his eyes in anticipation, resigned to his fate, and you push in gently, watching his hole swallow the silicone. The way Aizawa contorts, back bowed to scoot away from the pressure of the toy is salacious, drawing a moan from deep within your chest. He can’t get far due to the restraints, and he lets out a soft sob at the stretch of the toy, face scrunched tight. You push slowly until you bottom out, your hips pressed firmly against his, grinding in small circles to alleviate your own ache. He exhales shakily, unaware that he was holding his breath.

“See, it’s not so bad right?” you soothe, rubbing your thumb against his hip soothingly. “You should be grateful; I’m so much nicer than you are.”

“Fuck you,” it comes out weaker than intended, his voice strained as he tries to adjust to the girth of the toy.

You pull out slowly, experimentally, watching his stomach clench from the sensation of silicone caressing his insides. His dick gives an interested twitch, despite his demeanor, and that’s the invitation you need to start moving. It’s a little awkward at first, but your enthusiasm combined with the size of the toy more than makes up for your inexperience. He’s breathless, still uncomfortable, but you can see his body slowly relax as he tries to make sense of the sensations coursing through his body.

“You like this, don’t you?” you dig, eyes transfixed on his face, “Is that why you're so mean to me? You strut around like an asshole, just to hide the fact that you’re just a little bitch?”

You focus on angling your hips, searching for his prostate again, and when you find it, you commit to fucking him. He’s loud, stray tears sliding down his face as his body struggles to comprehend both the pain of the stretch and pleasure of the abuse.

“Fuck, you’re cute like this,” you sigh, “you’re meant for this, aren’t you? Meant to get your ass bred by your Mommy? You’d be so much more tolerable if you were sweet like this all of the time.”

His dick jerks violently but he shakes his head with a weak ‘no’, too lost in the sensation to retort any further. You’re soaked by now, the pressure of the toy on your end combined with the power trip pushing you to the edge. It takes all of your self-control, but you suddenly stop, unwilling to let yourself finish so quickly; there’s still unfinished business here.

“Tell me I’m pretty,” it comes out before you can even really think about it, but the words hang heavily in the air.

“Huh?”

“You’re never nice to me, so if you want me to even consider letting you cum, you better start kissing up.”

He hesitates, but when you shift slightly and the blunt head of the toy rubs against his prostate, he changes his tune very quickly.

“Fuck- you’re cute, ‘s the reason why I’m mean to you. So cute when you’re about to cry-” you give him a particularly hard slap on his ass and he winces, muttering a quick apology.

“You’re pretty even when I’m not fucking you, too,” is all you get, but it’s the first genuine compliment you’ve gotten out of the asshole since you’ve met him, and your heart soars. He’s awful and mean and evil but the simple statement is enough for you.

“I’ll let you cum if you beg for it,” you grunt, rutting your hips enthusiastically. You’re close, but you refuse to finish first. He’s needy, thanks to being edged twice, and he’s unable to resist your promise.

“Please, fuck, please let me cum,” he whimpers, voice wet and eyes watery.

“Please what?”

“Mommy! Fuck, please mommy, just let me cum, it hurts, fuck, please,” he babbles, and it’s enough for you. You wrap your hand around his cock and stroke it firmly, hips speeding up as you chase your own release. It’s quick- he finishes almost embarrassingly fast, and the whorish wail that rips from his throat sends you right over the edge, your vision blurring at the corners as you stay trained on his face, obscene and submissive.

It’s quiet after you stop, both of you catching your breath. You pull out slowly, watching the way his hole flutters and you giggle, your body and ego fully satiated. You look back to his face; he looks more fucked out than you’ve ever seen him, almost like he’s about to fall back asleep.

“Can we call it a truce?” You break the silence, grinning as he cracks open an eye to give you a scalding look.

“Fuck. You.”

455 notes · View notes

elysianslove · 4 years

Note

hi! may i request hcs of the haikyuu boys watching/helping their significant other workout? maybe yoga or just a regular workout? would be sweet if it was all of them but i know there are so many, so mainly kuroo, kageyama, bokuto, oikawa and nishinoya <3 thank you!!

hi anon!! i’m sorry i didn’t do all the boys, but i wrote for the specific boys you requested. if you, or anybody else, wants these hc’s for other boys i’d love to do them hehe. hope you enjoy!

kuroo tetsurō

he’s so excited as soon as you’re like “hey wanna work out together”

like his whole body freezes up and then he just

screams

if you’re already like pretty athletic, he makes everything a competition

but doesn’t actually compete

he just wants to watch you 😏

no fr he’ll be like “i bet i can do more squats than you”

and then just doesnt squat and only watches you squat

this mf 😭

he gets way too excited and puts an alarm at 4;30 am to text you/wake you up to go on a run with him

you: see that’s what we’re not gonna do

if you’re not very athletic or you’re just starting to get accustomed to working out

he is so. encouraging

like sickeningly so

tries his best not to overwhelm you and does really basic workouts with you

but also if ur laying face down on the ground crying “i dont wanna do this anymore” he will NOT have any of it

good luck unsubscribing to his services

he just wants to see you succeed 🥺 👉🏼👈🏼

cooks you the best healthy meals you dont even feel like youre missing out on anything

now

yoga

listen he’s so cheeky

he’s so mf TOUCHY

couples yoga with kuroo >>>>

it’s so funny bc this man is so strong he can do pretty much any move that requires any type of strength but pull out the flexibility card and he will pass away on the spot

he also just likes to watch you do yoga

not just bc he’s a pervert

but also bc it’s just interesting to see you in your zone

buys you yoga pants just bc <3333

“u just wanna stare at my ass”

“how dare you i would never objectify my gf”

stares at your ass <3

kageyama tobio

remember when i said kuroo would make everything a competition but wouldn’t really care

kageyama cares

he’s so annoying youre just trynna have fun working out w ur bf but here he is trynna kill u bc he’s so much better at everything

okay but if YOURE better 🤑

it pisses him off at first but then he realizes he’s pissed off bc ur so hot and make his spine tingle

work outs with him are intense as fuck

like he goes all out

but then he helps you stretch and 😏 it’s worth it

if he’s helping you workout, he’s kinda harsher than he intends to be

and when he realizes that yk maybe he’s being a lil extra

he apologizes and just asks how you wanna do it

spends the night researching hehe

is encouraging in a demeaning way like “do you WANT to regret not working harder” ur like tobio i swear on my life i will start crying

when y’all are done he does like give u a small kiss and the sweetest smile “good work” and it makes it all the more worth it

about yoga though

when he first watched u he was horny hwbwjwks

he was like oop what is this feeling

but then it clicked lmao

avoids watching you unless you’re doing it privately so he can embarrass himself less

if you invite him to join you it’s just rigorous head shaking but he loves you sm he’ll do anything for you

he just follows your lead and is listening so attentively and is trying to mimic your movements exactly and is so awe oh my god he’s so CUTE

once ur done and ur both just laying on the ground you roll over and kind lean over him and give him a kiss “thank u for doing this with me”

“we should do it more often”

not horny just in love with you <3

bokuto kōtarō

so hyperactive good luck keeping up with him

he’s also like

built

LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN. HIM???? no way he doesnt go crazy w the work outs

if you suggest to work out together he’s so excited and he just does everything normally the way he does at 2.5x speed and you’re just like bruh 🧍🏻‍♀️ slow down

you do eventually find your own rhythm that kinda matches his own

and it’s nice to have him with you because like if you’re at a gym and ur using a device across the room from him he’ll just yell and wave at you and blow you a kiss god i love this dork

after you’re both spent you just sit on the ground across from each other stretching just talking just vibing

gives you a big smooch in between everything if he can

it becomes a really positive addition to your life ngl

if he’s helping you work out

he is actually the fkn BEST

despite him being a work out freak, he doesn’t force that on you in any way

if anything i think he’d be super gentle

so cheerful when encouraging you

and rewards you a lot

too much probably

“20 PUSHUPS BABE !!!! LETS GO MAKE OUT FOR 20 MINUTES”

he doesn’t just say it he really does mean it when he tells you he’s proud of you

loves it when you do yoga

immediately tries to join in

“oouu teach me this move” proceeds to fall on his ass <3

t’s okay he has a lotta cushioning 😏

he always wants to try the couples yoga moves

he saves them on his phone to show you later and you cant say no bc ur already in gear and the yoga mat is on the ground hehe

(if you watch cody ko and kelsey kreppel’s couples yoga video that’s basically how it goes with you two)

^^^ in one of the moves he has to like lift you up by your arms as youre sitting down and he’s standing and he accidentally just shoves your face into his crotch

you both couldn’t stop laughing until you nearly peed and thats the beauty of love

oikawa tōru

he has to repeatedly ask you if you’re s u r e you wanna work out with him

if you’re s u r e you can keep up

please hand his cocky ass to him <3

if you’re athletic, prepare to have him try to one up you every time you do something

it’s so sweet though cause he’s so determined and he’s sticking his tongue out between his lips and you’re just like baby please what is this

tells you to lay beneath him while he does push ups so he can kiss you

you complain about how sweaty he is but really you just want him to take his shirt off <3

okay two important things i want to go over

one. oikawa does not know when to stop. so, honestly, you probably suggested to work out with him to keep him in check and make sure he doesn’t overwork himself

please make him drink water and take breaks when necessary :(

two. his knee :( he would probably need to be very careful and he’ll teach you the correct way to massage it and prep it before he does any critical work

if you approach him one day about helping you work out cause you’re clueless — yes it will get to his head

but like ??? he’s your boyfriend??? your very athletic boyfriend???

who else would u ask tf 😹

anyways he makes a whole like list and shit

organizes it so well with color coding and different handwriting

keeps you up to date with your progress and always says things like “look how well you’re doing babe!” and gives you a hugeeee hug

now, oikawa is either weirdly flexible, or not flexible at all

we’re gonna go for the first one for this yoga hc

joins you randomly and starts doing the poses correctly right away ur like ??? sir ???

distracts you. so much.

“can i have a kiss— another one?— one more— one more babe— okay an—“

make out sessions ensued :)

nishinoya yū

actually i think noya would like to be in own zone kinda thing when he’s working out

probably blasting some katy perry in his ears ngl

but when you tell him you wanna go work out with him??

now you’re both blasting katy perry in your ears

stares. stares so much. provocatively.

he’s your bf so you get it

but women have come up to you in the gym asking if you’re okay hbwjwkwe

makes you try out his routine while he tries out yours

“wow babe this is sooo easy” he’s dying dont believe him

you guys probably have a handshake that’s so motivating to do before and after eeekkkk he probably makes you feel SO good about yourself after

takes you to eat the unhealthiest shit he can find after a workout because why not right ? chivalry? undead 😻

if you ask him for help he’ll accept right away

competes with you to help you improve

“one day babe you’ll be beating me at these with such ease”

he’s the loud kind of encouraging

yells a lot

like so much

body worship all the time <3333

“god u look SO good right now i love you so much”

this simp i love him sm

anyways. onto yoga

did i mention he stares 👁👁

because he does

he already knows you do yoga and he will find out your schedule

just. likes to watch you tbh

if you offer to do couples yoga with him he refuses bc he likes the view where he is lmfao

there are so many tiktoks of him just doing the dances while you calmly do yoga

it becomes a trend lmfaowjwnsj

anyways yes best supportive bf award goes to noya (actually all of them who am i kidding)

end note; MY BEST FRIEND PAINTED AKAASHI FOR MY BDAY GIFT I STOPPED BREATHING ,,, anyways i hope y’all enjoyed this!! feel free to request some more mwah

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #kuroo x reader #kuroo headcanons #oikawa x reader #oikawa headcanons #bokuto x reader #bokuto headcanons #kageyama x reader #kageyama headcanons #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya headcanons

983 notes · View notes

taechaos · 3 years

Note

i got a fluff drabble idea for you!!

Jungkook and the oc were sleeping together, and jk had a nightmare of oc leaving him. When he wakes up(at around 3 a.m.), he doesnt see the oc beside him, he starts thinking that she actually left him because of his toxic behavior. While the oc was actually in a different room/kitchen/balcony for a reason. And when she comes back, she sees jjk panicked/shocked/crying. The oc comforting and babying jk, and jk too being a baby and complaining how she shouldnt have left him alone.

-from 🍠anon

angst and fluff 😎 tw: panic attack

Jungkook weaves his fingers through your hair that falls over his chest where you head lays, your breath hot on his exposed skin while you try to sleep to the comfort of his scent. There's an issue, one that makes him uncomfortable to discuss with his girlfriend, but discussing it is mandatory.

"Have you been busy?" he whispers into the darkness of his dorm room where another mattress sits empty without the presence of his roommate. Seokjin's night-out gave him the opportunity to dress you in one of his shirts as a pajama top, and your leg is bare over his thighs. If he didn't have something on his mind, he wouldn't bother striking up this conversation.

"Hm? No, why?" you murmur and start drawing patterns on his ribs.

He swallows hard, almost reserved in his approach. "Then why are my grades so shitty lately?" That came out harsher than intended, and he grimaces when you freeze along with your fingers. He knows he can't treat you the way he used to due to change in circumstances, but his ass is on the line.

"They are? What are your grades?"

"B-," he grumbles.

"That's shitty?" you sit up with a deep frown. "Jungkook, I've been preparing for my finals while making the time to do all your formative assignments. They barely take up your final grade, B- isn't shitty in the least."

"I appreciate it," he forces out through a tiny snarl, "but if you're going to do something, do it well."

You scoff, offended by his lack of gratitude and hurt by his demeaning attitude.

"I'm only telling you this because if you can't do it, I'll ask someone else. It's not that hard." His tone indirectly implies you're overreacting to such a minor topic.

"Might I remind you that I don't even major in law," you purse your lips into a thin line to swallow the lump in your throat, "nor do I attend your lectures, and I still get you semi-good grades. You can't find someone else who'll do better than me, let alone without your money."

He licks his lips and applies pressure on the back of your head to lay you back down on him. You're hesitant, but stay put anyway with a prominent pout on your face. He gently pets you as he softly says, "Don't be so sensitive. I needed to tell you so you can improve. I need to be successful for the better of our future, baby. I'm telling you because I love you."

You mumble incoherently, and he assumes you said it back. A few minutes later, he hears your soft snores and eventually drifts off with the worry of his career in the back of his mind.

And it feels like he only slept for a minute when he wakes up. Waking up is an understatement, for he shot up in his bed with a silent gasp while the sun is still down. He's almost breathless with the way he pants before sighing, realizing this is reality, not what he saw through closed lids.

It wasn't a prank this time. You really broke up with him after graduation, telling him that he'd find someone else to kiss in his workplace for them to write his reports because you wouldn't be there. He promised loyalty, but he didn't show it because you thought he dated you for selfish reasons without the inclusion of love. That's stupid because he remembers telling you he loved you before falling asleep. He knows he meant it, so why didn't you believe it?

He wants to show and not tell, make you feel loved by the hug of his arms, but there is no you to love.

You aren't there.

He touches the spot you previously occupied, and the warmth of your body is slowly fading. Maybe it's an extra early morning lecture, he thinks before checking the time. There is no lecture he knows of that starts at 3 AM. His heart starts to race.

No need to panic. You'll be here any minute now. He waits and waits, and the seconds feel like minutes, the minutes feel like hours, and it's not long before his heart hurts from the rapid pace of his pulse. You're not here.

Trying to control his breathing proves to be difficult, almost like being aware of your blinking and you forget how natural it is for you to do it every three seconds. He shoves the blanket on his lap to the side and stands up to pace his room. He can't take his eyes off the ceiling, otherwise he can't hold the tears at bay. No reason to panic, no reason to cry, no reason to feel so suffocated.

But they well up to the point that they start streaming down his face regardless of what he does, and now there's nothing that isn't out of his control, similar to your midnight disappearance. His breaths are shallow, and his guts twist uncomfortably, just like the discomfort in his lungs. Everything hurts.

"I was too harsh on her," he says in a broken whimper and tugs on his hair. "Shitty grades? You can't even stay awake in class."

He sounds so pathetic in his ears, practically gasping his words out, but his thoughts are so scrambled that he can only voice them to get some sort of relief. It doesn't help, not when he's not in a position to do anything. He can't even smoke due to the fire alarm.

He falls on the floor to crawl to the bed so he can lay his back on the footboard, hands relentless with their pulling on his hair. He leans his forehead on his bent knees and convinces himself that he's been the one overreacting all along, like he is now; not the other way around.

"You could've said something before leaving, you bitch," he hiccups in utter misery. There's no other way he can comfort himself other than to blame you. "A-And I'm the harsh one? You're worse."

"Jungkook?"

He doesn't look up at you, shaking his head with his eyes shut tightly. You rush to his side and he flinches at the contact before aggressively snuggling into you. A patch forms on the center of your shirt from the result of his tear stains.

You're shaken and in shock. You left to the communal bathroom, and since it's strictly for males, you had to wait inside until a dialogue down the hall died down so you don't get reported. Not to add your attire isn't exactly public friendly.

You rub his back soothingly with another hand scratching his scalp. You're aware that Jungkook is more prone to panic attacks than you are, which was a strange discovery considering his tough exterior, and you feel bad for being the cause more than once. Leaving him alone at night after an argument is apparently enough for him to break down, and you feel guilty for taking his attachment lightly.

When his cries start to cease little by little, he hoarsely scolds you as expected. "You shouldn't have left," he rasps and sniffles, "was a punishment really necessary? W-We can talk things out like adults, you know."

"I was in the bathroom," you quietly reassure with a peck on his nose. He scrunches it in response. "You're so paranoid."

"E-Excuse me for misunderstanding why you left while you were still angry at me. I had a dream where you more or less did the same fucking thing."

You coo at him when he shyly looks to the side with knitted brows. You gaze at his tinted nose and flushed cheeks that are still wet from his crying before tucking a hair strand behind his ear. "I would never up and leave like that–"

"But you did!"

"–because of a minor disagreement. I went to pee and had to wait out some bystanders. And I wasn't angry at you," you giggle.

He puckers his lips, still tense and upset. "But you were hurt."

"Just a tad bit," you hold an invisible pencil between your fingertips just to show how much.

He blows out a deep breath and wipes his face. Taking the hand you held up, he kisses your knuckles. "I'm sorry. I can't even get those grades on my own and you still manage to do better than I ever could with so many other courses you take."

You ruffle his disheveled hair and he wears a distasteful expression. "I know. You're cunning and clever, but you're extremely lazy."

"Rude," he huffs. His red eyes droop lazily and his gaze turns downcast. "I was being paranoid about you and my academics. Stupid, rather," he sighs. Before you can deny it, he stands up and pulls you along to get back in bed.

He forces you to lie down on him completely, overtaking your whole body as he wraps his arms around you. You get comfortable on his firm torso and tangle your legs with his.

"What do you have to say to me?" he grunts.

"What do you mean?"

"Three magical words, but preferably more explicit."

You laugh breathlessly and peck his collarbone. "I love you so much, I would kill and die for you," you play along to his innocent request, "I want to be with you until the world caves in. What else..."

"Don't stop until I fall asleep. Keep going."

You confess your undying love for him until his snores fill the air, prompting you to drift off alongside.

#wtf js this #💀💀💀#textbook love #jk scenarios

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p5confessions · 3 years

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hello welcome to my twisted mind thank you admin for submit rights love you (sent, again, because tumblr is evil) sooo... i do wish people realized relationships can be less black/white than the two extremes of "perfectly healthy" and "abusive". like, no, i dont think shuake is completely healthy under many circumstances, including the time in canon. but i seriously find a huge appeal in reading/writing about a relationship with two people who start off roughly, who miscommunicate, who fuck up badly due to their situation, and then make up for it and help each other become stronger after the fact. i mean, that's the whole point of their mutual obsession with being the other's rival in canon, to me. they see themselves in each other & want to push that, want to push the other to improve, especially driven by them having a mutual sense of self-hatred that conflicts with care for the other. cog goro says it himself, shido was going to kill goro after the election and had no room for failures. goro was at 15 or younger when he began to be groomed by shido, and younger when he had to deal with his mom's suicide that he blames himself for. so ofc he doesn't feel an immense amount of remorse for everything- feeling that would be, to him, feeling remorse for wanting to destroy shido on behalf of the ruined lives of his mother and himself. it's... plainly written in canon, the conflicted feelings it all causes him. then in 3rd sem you have him right after being brought back to life, after having all of his complex trauma shown to others against his will and, in his eyes, demeaned as much as he possibly could have been. ofc hes angry and lashes out the entire time. just bcs his reactions are "uglier" doesnt make them not trauma reactions, doesn't make them something he cant heal from, doesnt make him unable to develop a positive relationship with a boy he loves who loves him back with all his flaws. sure, he had a choice, but his choices were either 'work for bad people to kill other bad people' or 'get murdered by his dad and prove hes a failure of a son that killed his mom'- and he had to make this choice when he was, at most, 15, PROBABLY YOUNGER since its canon wakaba was helping to groom him into killing people before he killed her at 15, and we have no clue when that started... he easily couldve been like 13. like i seriously want to see you make that choice at 15 and not develop some fucking complexes over it. overall if you think after getting away from that, and being in a loving relationship with someone who loves him genuinely and wants to see him lead a happy life, that hed still be the same callous paranoid violent angry person, im tempted to think you didnt watch the story aside from the interrogation room & engine room scenes, maybe goros navi dialogue in 3rd sem, and assumed that he just acts like that as a baseline... hes an extremely reactionary person, his desire for control is based completely in the fact that he never has had it and never gets it for any time we ever see him except for when he is literally killing himself, twice. (this went from a shuake rant to a "goro isnt subhuman hes just traumatized and thats the point of his whole story" rant but thats mostly because this is confronting weird "shuake is abusive!!!" accusations that are just untrue, and those tend to try and say goro is the abuser. i can write about akira some other time... and as an addendum, i literally dont care if you dont ship them. but like another anon said throwing around words like abuse when he's literally Being Groomed by an entire group of adults with government ties that could literally end his life in seconds and not taking it well is a little um fucking crazy)

#persona 5 #submission

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tigerdrop · 3 years

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i have a lot of trouble writing benrey in my fics— how did you experiment with his characterization until you were satisfied with it, and what other benny interpretations do u enjoy from other fic writers? i love the way you write him, his dialogue feels so authentic and believable.

AW thank u......it always makes my day to hear something nice about the way i characterize ppl......there were a lot of things i did to try to nail how he talks and thinks. thank u for asking this b/c i have a Lot to say about this subject

the first thing is, obv, watching the series. i have to include this one b/c i feel like quite a few ppl in this fandom.....like.....havent. there is a certain way of characterizing him as an Epic Mischievous Gamer that is, uhhh, very much a fanon thing that ppl see on tumblr and imitate and flanderize all to hell. but, like, im an obsessive little weirdo who will rewatch things over and over again to take notes on characters’ behavior and dialogue and i really gotta recommend just sitting back and listening to how benrey talks.

hes not dropping gamer references constantly. hes not making every single sentence out of his mouth some obnoxious quip. hes slow on the uptake and drops conversations entirely if he doesnt care about them. he has never once said “cringe” before and whenever i see a fic that has him doing it multiple times i feel minutes shaved off of my lifespan. the #1 tip i can give here is to not have benrey talking in fucking 2010s gamer lingo every time he opens his mouth. please

(i feel partially responsible for the spread of this kind of characterization. my first 2 fics have him doing stuff like that every once in awhile. sometimes i debate going back and changing them, but like, benrey saying “poggers” one time aside, i think they hold up pretty good. so i havent. something something historical accuracy)

the more i wrote about him, the more i tried digging into the aspects of his character that i found the most appealing. some people are really into his polite side. i am really into his bullying side. so i would watch the bits where benrey really has his “gordon bullying” mode cranked up to 11 and make note of how he acts, how he talks. trying to replicate it. “benrey saying epic random shit to piss gordon off” is much less his vibe than, like, demeaning gordon, and i feel like the bathroom skit is the ultimate manifestation of this. it is genuinely my favorite bit in the whole series b/c its so ideally representative of their weird-ass dynamic. this fuckin high school bullying LARP in the middle of a public restroom. god in heaven

the less you lean on the crutches of “gamer lingo” and “wacky non-sequitur”, the more it forces you to think about how he behaves. what motivates him. and generally, like, he operates on his own wavelength. he doesnt fully understand everything thats going on around him and selectively chooses what he tunes into. and, most importantly, he just wants to play games, man. benrey likes goofing off with the science crew and playing mind games with gordon. he fails to understand the gravity of his actions a lot of the time b/c hes not human, and hes not operating under the same social guidelines.

(this is the part where people like to speculate exactly what kind of non-human he is, and i think this can be helpful for setting up his motivations! me, personally, i am of the opinion that hes just a video game guy made real. kind of like a live-action cartoon character. so hes operating on video game logic a lot of the time, and doesnt grasp that consequences for actions are different for normal people who cant noclip or respawn. a kind of lack of empathy that manifests in him being capricious, indifferent, detached......purely oriented around “getting his job done” and “chilling” and, naturally, “fucking with gordon freeman“.)

ultimately it boils down to distilling just what i like out of their interactions and trying to Manifest it repeatedly. i go crazy about their actual canon interactions and i want to write things that hit the notes i like: two guys who are mutually kind of obsessed with one another, for better or worse, and engage in a lot of play fighting (and, you know, genuine fighting, too) as a sublimation of it. best frenemies, if you will.

i think that a lot of the problems people have in writing benrey is that they kinda just project whatever attributes they want in a lover onto him. like, man, i like cute shit as much as the next guy, but do you really think that the dude who bullies gordon freeman while hes having a panic attack is gonna tenderly stroke gordons hair and wipe his tears and tell him that everythings gonna be okay? no, dude. even when benrey expresses any kind of concern, he does it in a way that communicates that he doesnt understand the gravity of whats going on and he doesnt “get” why gordons lying on the ground yelling, or why gordons howling in pain after getting his arm cut off. he is not an empathetic guy. hes actually kind of a creep!!! a lil freakjob! the weirdness and the lack of humanity are what make him hot!!!!

and this is what makes it own so hard on the rare occasions he does show empathy! its the same reason why its so cute when gordon stops bitching for 0.5 seconds and tries to be nice! theyre earned moments, not character defaults. and cutesy/lovey-dovey shit with these two is definitely doable, but i would love to see more of it take into account the fact that these are two dudes who fucking suck and who especially suck at being emotionally open with each other.

as far as characterizations that i really like........okay. full disclosure. the biggest reason ive been losing my shit over the catmaid freemind fic is b/c the author is one of the few people who really taps in to what i like about benrey, and what i like about his relationship with gordon. hes teasing. he likes to use his perceived authority to bully people. hes weirdly protective of gordon. but hes also just, like, a chill dude who wants to play video games. and he legit likes gordon and expresses affection for him in some of the most in-character ways ive ever seen

like. deliberately spilling milk on the couch and flatly going like “oops.” b/c he wants gordon to sleep in his room......playing nurse by doing fuck-all apart from giving gordon powerade while hes sick and keeping the volume on his video games low......kicking barmey under the table for making fun of gordon being dogboyed.......it is all exceptionally cute shit and its delightfully in-character. i feel so bad for the author b/c im a frenrey head and i am primarily reading it for those two. but god they do it so well.......im hooked. im obsessed

thank u again for asking this and for the lovely compliment ^q^ i hope this answered your question......i have spent entirely too much of my life thinking about my favorite half life funny guy

#asky #careposting

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unidentifiedfuckingthing · 3 years

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just talking about proship anti anti-anti shit and why i think a punitive stance on internet content doesnt work. dont misconstrue this. if you call yourself an anti-anti i hate you

honestly i think the real way we break the cycles of kids being traumatized/groomed by people/content on the internet isnt by trying to stifle all instances of that content because

-theres no clear line between Okay and Not Okay in an objective sense, partially because this is informed by cultural ideas of what's appropriate and not and there's never going to be one answer of what is and isn't appropriate that doesn't clash with another person's sense of that and that doesn't explicitly make one of them wrong;

-and more importantly, because the line at which something becomes a traumatic or vulnerable subject is completely different for each person. for some people even content that's benign in an objective sense can strike a bad chord for them personally.

i think the actual answer is by providing ANY kind of useful support structure for children and other vulnerable people especially on the internet, in a way that actually reaches out to people, for the same reason as that internet safety post about how conventional internet safety is filled with enough disrespectful and infantilizing lies about every internet friend being a 40-year old man looking for children that its difficult to respect the things that are true, because when people do offer support it's never in the right place, or enough of it, or not filled with assumptions that alienate its audience, and honestly the worst is that its an area that feels shameful to accept help for. partially because it IS shameful! the way people do psas toward tweens about harmful internet content on this site is so abrasive and demeaning to the people its supposedly trying to help! its not about helping its just about jerking yourself off about how good you are at sjw theater! nobody with any stance in particular treats kids or victims like rational people because internet discourse lacks the nuance to allow that children and victims both have full agency in their actions and can and will make bad decisions, AND that they deserve respect and sympathy and support regardless of making decisions you dont like. yelling at kids and then feeling smug about how no kids will listen to your correct opinions because theyre dipshits who intentionally do things the wrong way isnt activism!

i dont have like a 12-step plan on how to make the internet safer but i do feel that like most things the answer is increasing the pitiful amount of good before trying to stamp out the bad that exists in its place. even if the laws about internet content werent externally motivated for profit and subjugation of swers i just think that anything from the direction of trying to direct whats allowed and disallowed is not going to ever be capable of actually succeeding in making the internet a safe place the same way that i think incarceration wont fix all crime. i sure would fucking love to never have to quickly scroll past "underage" tags on porn ever again but i also think that if our current methods actually worked we would see them working by now

all i want is to see general culture and internet culture both become a less hostile space for children and victims. i want a broad internet culture that ALLOWS children to understand what being manipulated means and how to recognize it and what to do about it, and to know that they can go to people without feeling like its an admission of guilt that you found yourself in that situation even after hearing internet "safety" lectures, and to know that theyre safe around people. and in my personal perspective all the internet legislation of the last 10 years has made absolutely no difference for me. if i were 11 right now in 2021 and wanted to talk to someone about how the internet (among other things) made me hypersexual and made me fear my sexual safety around adults i wouldn't feel a single bit safer than i did then. the problem isnt a finite number of bad actors corrupting the internet that if we locked them all up wed all be saved, its that our entire culture is so hostile to victims of sexual violence and especially underage victims of sexual violence that

-it isnt hard for people to fall into habits that create sexual violence, and

-theres nothing to balance out that influence for both the perpetrators and the victims, and

-its hard for victims to even recognized they were victimized because the state of our society is already so entrenched in the normalization of sexual violence, and

-if they do recognize it theres nowhere for them to go other than back to that sexual violence. sequestering people away into therapy and self help and the whims of the medical system where outside people can pretend sexual violence doesnt exist while people are bounced between therapists who cant help them is not a support structure btw.

this whole discourse has gotten so out of control and radicalized into black and white arguments and knee jerk reactions and even for all that what do we have to show that were benefiting victims?? we're not! its all just outrage addiction! and its fucking ridiculous!! im tired of it!!!

#csa tw #rape tw #cp tw #this id disorganized and kind of stream of consciousness. this isnt a call to action im just tired

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