#and one I’m don’t I’ll probably need a break
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Unwanted: Chapter 30, Epilogue - Pt. 1
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,
Word Count: 634
Previously On...: You and Bucky are probably going to be okay.
A/N: IT'S OUT EARLY!
This is it! The last chapter! OMG!
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
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10 Months Later
“I refuse to accept this.”
“Well, unfortunately, Boss, it’s my decision to make, not yours,” you told Tony as you finished stacking up the last of your moving boxes. Sixteen years– almost half of your life, now condensed into neat stacks of cardboard, waiting to be loaded into the van that was waiting downstairs.
“What the hell am I supposed to do without you?” Tony asked, dramatically flinging himself on your now bare mattress. “How am I supposed to survive?”
You rolled your eyes at him. “It’s not like you won’t see me every fucking day, dude,” you admonished him. “I still work here, for fucks’ sake. Besides, you refused to let your realtor show me any place you couldn’t see from your terrace.”
“I thought it would be nice if we could wave to each other during breakfast,” he said, his face drawn into a pout now, “that’s all.”
You sat down next to him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “It’s time to cut the umbilical cord, Tony,” you said.
“But you’re still such a kiddo, Kiddo,” he sighed.
“I meant your umbilical cord, Boss,” you laughed. “And who knows? Maybe I’ll try it for a year or two, figure out I absolutely hate it, and come crawling back, begging for my old room.”
“Don’t press your luck,” Tony said, sitting back up. “I’ll probably turn it into a sauna, or an indoor golf simulator as soon as you walk out that door.”
“Ah, there’s the Tony I know and tolerate,” you said with a smile.
“I’m just going to miss having you around,” he said, his voice now laced with sadness. “Sixteen years together– probably the longest stable relationship I’ve ever had. It’s not going to be the same around here without you.”
“I know,” you sighed. “I’m going to miss you, too. But you know I need this. After everything that happened last year with Carthage, and Barnes… me spiraling, losing a baby I didn’t even know about, getting shot, and the… complications; all that shit with Steve. I just think I need a fresh start, some place where I’m not reminded of her every time I walk around a corner. It’s the only way I’m going to truly heal.”
“I told you I’d move you to another floor. Hell, I’ll tear down the entire Tower and start from scratch. We can build a whole new compound Upstate or something. You’d never have to set foot in this hallway again,” he said. And you knew he was telling the truth– there was little Tony wouldn’t do to ensure you were comfortable in your old home, but you couldn’t rely on him forever.
“You’ve saved me so many times already, Boss,” you said, looking back at him fondly, “and you know I’m always going to be thankful for that. But it’s time I started working on saving myself.”
“Well, when you make it sound all empowering and shit,” he began, “I start to feel like a dick for protesting.”
You laughed as your phone beeped. Looking at the message, you told him: “Movers are on the way up. I guess this is really it.” You both stood and embraced, Tony leaning down to speak softly in your ear.
“You know you always have a home here, Kiddo,” he said. “Whenever you need it. Even if it’s just for a night, or if you decide you want to come back for good. Door’s always open.”
“And even if it’s not,” you said as the two of you broke away from one another, “I can always hack the system to break myself in.”
“I’ll have you arrested for trespassing.”
“You think Mr. Mitchell’s still practicing law?” you asked with a grin. “I can definitely afford to have him represent me, now.”
<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#james bucky buchanan barnes#james buchanan barnes#mcu bucky barnes#james barnes
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betting on all three for us two
pairing: frat!luke castellan x reader
summary: you think you like being a little more friendly and a little less competition with luke castellan this year. a sequel to this fic
word count: 3.1k
warnings: none
author's note: frat luke my dearly beloved loser son who studies pre-med this is for you you know who you are i love you
1.
The fall semester comes at you faster than you’d like, this rapid change from a golden summer to the crisp air of being back on campus. You’re rooming with someone from an old anthropology elective you took, Silena finally moving into her sorority house. It should feel weirder, how everything has changed since spring break.
You take the opportunity to build new habits. Early runs, no caffeine after 2pm. Little things that make the day go a tiny bit faster, building blocks to fit around your class schedule. Silena schedules weekly lunches for the three of you and there’s this gravity to it all that you want to study.
It had been nice to be home for a few months. Your mom had missed having you there, being able to show you the new flowers she planted, how the lemon tree in the yard is twisting weirdly. Board games and family dinners and friends who never left your town. Being back home was resetting. Being back on campus was restarting.
Lee catches you as you leave the gym, offering to walk you to class if you’re heading in that direction. You smile, telling him that you have a late start and pretend he doesn’t frown when your phone buzzes. He mentions that he’s thinking of starting a study group for one of your classes and you tell him you’ll think about joining.
While he heads towards the main building, you make your way to the campus coffee shop - caught behind the early risers desperate for something to get them through their first lecture of the day.
“Can I get a flat white and an iced americano with caramel to go please?” You smile at the girl working the counter, stepping aside to glance at your watch.
You run through your schedule for today, ignoring the text that comes through. You know exactly what it says, the same thing every morning, and you don’t even bother to roll your eyes at this point.
“I can’t believe you ignored my text,” Luke says when you reach the courtyard between the library and the medical building. “Not even a flame emoji.”
You stop in front of him, drinking in the jeans and sweater combination he’s settled on today. It’s a really nice sweater, dark blue and a little baggy. You wonder how quickly he’d notice it going missing. Probably not as quickly as he’d notice the stupid hat he’s wearing go missing. His backpack leans against the bench, pristine.
“No one uses those except you,” you shake your head, handing him the iced drink. “What time does your lecture start?”
Luke tells you as if he really needs to. It’s this thing you’ve started doing since the semester began, acting like you don’t know his schedule as well as your own. As if the both of you haven’t fallen into this routine in just a few weeks. Like it’s not a highlight of your day.
Clarisse thinks it’s adorable. Chris thinks it’s hilarious. You think it’s nice to have someone to share your free time with, beyond whatever else you and Luke have. It had been a fear of yours, when Silena mentioned not sharing a dorm with you, that you would fall to the sidelines. That life would come with these new priorities for everyone and you would only be fourth or fifth on their lists, too cemented in the day-to-day that you’d be forgotten.
Morning coffee with Luke stops that fear.
“Did Silena tell you about the party on Friday?”
“I have a study group in the afternoon,” Luke says, swirling his plastic cup around so the ice clinks together. “If I do go, I’m showing up late.”
“Maybe I’ll keep my eye out for you there, Castellan.”
He laughs and it’s like summer again. There’s something insane about hearing Luke laugh like this, unbroken and loud, nothing like it had been over the phone while you were back home.
“You’ve got dinner with Silena and Clarisse tonight, right?” He asks, swinging his bag over one shoulder. You throw your empty cup into the trash can as you both start walking. “Is there any point in asking if you want to come round after?”
You knock his arm with your shoulder, laughing, and, instead of feigning hurt like usual, Luke just takes your hand in his, the skin a little colder than you expect. Gazing down at your linked hands, you bite your lip before sighing.
“If I’m home before eleven, I’ll consider it.”
Last year, when you first met him, you thought Luke only got that determined glint in his eyes when he was competing. That it was a sign of an unanticipated thrill. Since then, you’ve learnt that it’s not that at all. It’s this thing that ignites within him, determined and passionate and a little boyish.
You think it might be one of your favorite things about him.
“I will take that deal.”
2.
You wish you could say you were a little drunk. At least that way you would have something to blame. As it stands, you’re stone cold sober, maybe a little tired from class but nothing that can really be blamed for the lack of weight your actions seem to have right now.
The only thing you can blame, and you will, is the boy next to you, completely engrossed in the movie playing. They’d been watching it when you arrived, all settled on the couches and you assume this is something they do regularly, and at any other time you might’ve called it cute.
Not tonight. Not when you walked in to the discovery that Luke wears glasses and you didn’t know about it. It was something you played off, making a joke and settling into the cushions beside him. In the time since, Chris has left for his date with Clarisse and Charlie has pulled out some work to go through in the corner of the room.
“What’s up?” Luke asks when he realizes you’ve hardly moved in ten minutes, barely even breathing. And it’s the worst possible thing he could do, glance down through the frames with that small smile you’ve gotten used to and curls loose.
“Nothing’s up,” you let your eyes trail back to the screen. “This is a very cute tradition you guys have going on.”
Charlie lets out a little laugh from across the room. You feel the way Luke exhales against the side of your face. You think you’re able to go back to pretending everything is normal, make a joke and enjoy the rest of the movie. The second you feel Luke’s fingertips on the skin of your knee, gentle and warm, you know you can’t.
“You’re swerving,” he whispers, throwing a quick glance at Charlie to see if he can hear but the other boy is engrossed in his work. “Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing,” you bite the inside of your cheek when he nods encouragingly, incredibly aware of the patterns he’s tracing on your skin. “I just think it’s interesting that you’d choose to wear a hat all the time when the glasses are right there.”
“What?”
His hand stills and you wait. You wait and you stare at the shape of his jaw and you chuckle when it finally clicks, his adam’s apple shifting as he swallows the conclusion down. “Are you saying you like my glasses?”
You don’t like how uneven this all feels. Whenever you’ve been with Luke so far, there’s been this mutual balance that you’ve grown used to. Even before now, back when you were locked in silly competitions, you did it on even footing, the expectation that everything meant nothing and you wouldn’t be affected.
This, the way Luke grins around the realization, hand moving to rest on your thigh, is different. It’s heavier. It’s a loss after a winning streak and you’re kind of obsessed with the way it could drag you down.
“I just think that hat is stupid.”
“Yeah, okay,” Luke nods and you know, even if he doesn’t do it outright, he’s laughing. He’s categorizing the information you’ve just given him, placing it where it belongs in his mind, and it’s going to bite you in the ass. “Tell me more.”
“Luke,” you mutter, gritting your teeth. His fingertips brush against the hem of your shorts and, when you glare at him for it, he just shrugs. You throw a glance over in Charlie’s direction. Still nothing. “Are you insane?”
He tilts his head like he’s considering the question carefully. If Charlie were to look over, you know he’d assume you were locked in a debate about something silly - a staple of you and Luke - and it wouldn’t matter. He wouldn’t know for a second that you were holding onto Luke’s wrist, his hand itching to move just a little to the left.
You sigh and the boy beside you raises an eyebrow. You both know that you’ve lost this round.
When you press your lips to his bicep as the film credits roll, warm even through the fabric of his shirt, you mumble, “I really like your glasses.”
3.
You aren’t used to watching things from a crowd. You’re used to focusing on yourself, on your team - not watching from a distance, surrounded by people who are there purely for enjoyment. There’s no winning from the stands.
Luke doesn’t know you’re here. You’d sent him a text that morning wishing him luck, arranging to meet him when his debate was over. You hadn’t bothered to message him when your afternoon class got canceled, choosing instead to race across campus and find a seat in the dim auditorium they’re using.
There isn’t the crackle of energy you get from swimming, or from watching Luke during track sessions. It’s less intense, for sure, a balance between the fire you know exists within him when he’s competing and the confidence he has in his own intelligence. You’ve argued with Luke, stupid things that neither of you care to take too seriously, and this is just the next stage of that.
He’s got his glasses on, you note, when the debate gets underway. He’s wearing his lucky green polo, even if he’d never personally call it that, and he’s switched his smartwatch out for an analogue one. The cheap biro you’re used to seeing him use has been replaced by a fancy silver pen that he still taps against his thigh while thinking. He’s sitting straighter than usual, shoulders back.
It’s almost like meeting him for the first time, focused and confident and sharp at the edges.
You’re kind of obsessed with it.
An hour and a winning handshake later, you make your way through the small crowd leaving to find Luke in conversation with one of his teammates. She smiles as you wrap an arm around his waist from behind, the slight tension still lingering in his bones melting away when he realizes it’s you.
“What are you doing here?” He says, turning enough that he’s actually facing you now. The girl waves you both goodbye. “I thought you had class.”
“Professor Chase had to cancel. His daughter got sent home from school with a fever.”
Luke nods, pressing his lips to the top of your head quickly. “You didn’t have to come to my debate.”
In the few months you’ve known Luke, you’ve learnt more about him than you expected to. You know from summer that Connecticut means looking after his sick mother, that he’s hoping to introduce some new charity events to ksig, that he used to go to a summer camp growing up. You know that his dad never showed up for anything and that he sits in the stands of all of your swim meets regardless of whether it cuts into his study time or not.
More than all of that, you know that the way he’s gazing at you now, a cross between awe and something deeper, is going to drive you crazy one day. You hope he can read the same expression on your face.
“Thank you for coming,” he says when everyone is finally dismissed, an arm thrown across your shoulders as you make your way out of the building. You loop a finger around one of his, just because you want to. “It means a lot.”
“I told you I would,” and you had, months ago, staring at Luke’s bedroom ceiling, back when you were still caught in the casualness of it all. When Luke was just someone you pretended you weren’t trying to bump into at parties. You’d told him that you would show up for him if you ever got the chance. He’d rolled his eyes, throwing a blanket over you both and told you to go to sleep. He’d drifted off with his nose pressed against your neck. “I keep my word, Castellan.”
“I know.”
In the evening light of campus, you think it might mean something more. Buried under the timing and the bitter wind until it’s a promise only you and Luke could translate. Asking him about where he wants to go for dinner, you like that no one else could understand the depth of it.
+1.
Silena catches your attention as you enter the kitchen, grinning wildly and explaining her concept for tonight. Drew gave her permission to throw this week’s party, something themed and fun and it’s something she’s so proud of that you can’t help but grin back at her energy.
“Even Charlie came,” she tells you excitedly, handing you a drink. “I feel like tonight is going to be it.”
In all the years you’ve known her, she’s been counting down to it. You don’t exactly understand the fundamentals of what it is, if it’s a real thing or something she can just sense intrinsically. There have been moments where she’s thought of it before, mentioned it offhandedly before shaking her head - as if knowing she was wrong.
“What even is it?” You ask and, for the first time, she breathes deeply instead of shrugging it off.
“The beginning of the end,” she says and that doesn’t exactly explain anything. “Everything is about to change.”
You still don’t really get it, but she’s as confident in this as she is about her clothes, so you nod like you understand. She sends you away not long after that, turning her attention to the new group that’s just walked through the doorway, mentioning that you need to be in the basement in about an hour and you just accept your fate, moving into the next room and falling into conversation with Rachel.
*
Luke slips into the basement just as Silena starts yelling for everyone to do so, catching your eye across the room and waving. When you’re all instructed to sit down in a circle, you wonder exactly what Silena has planned for tonight. When she places a near empty bottle down in the center of you all, you laugh.
“Are we actually playing spin the bottle?” Chris asks, prompting a murmured chorus of agreement from everyone else in the room. Silena frowns at him.
“Wanna bet he ends up getting the most into it?” Luke whispers in your ear and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Loser has to buy the coffee tomorrow morning.”
“You’re on,” you bump your fist to his to seal the deal. “I think he’s gonna get bored by round 3.”
“Only boring people get bored of this game. It’s about drive.”
“It’s about power?” Luke lets out a laugh and Silena turns her glare to you. “Sorry.”
She starts to explain the rules of the game, as if you’re all twelve again, and you bite your lip harder with every comment Luke makes under his breath. It’s a little mean, a little stupid, and you wish you were fifteen again, playing a proper game of spin the bottle for the first time.
Nothing much happens for the first few rounds, Chris starting to grumble the longer the game goes on. Luke clicks his tongue when you point it out, cursing his best friend like this was the worst thing that could’ve happened to him.
Lee spins and it’s like cosmic interference when the bottle stops between you and Luke, the two of you glancing at each other and then back towards Lee.
“Should I spin it again?” Lee asks when no one says anything. Silena shakes her head and says, “You can choose or we can vote if that makes you more comfortable.”
“Please let us vote,” Chris shouts, animated and you narrow your eyes at him, ignoring the smug smile Luke gives you. “I’ll never ask you for anything ever again.”
Lee glances between you both again, at where your knee rests against Luke’s thigh and the beer you’ve been sharing for the past twenty minutes sits between you. “It might be better to vote.”
“Sure,” Silena smiles before silencing you all. “Everyone that wants Lee to kiss Luke, raise your hands.”
You raise your hand and Luke mumbles beside you, flicking your leg and you poke him in return. Anything to avoid kissing Lee Fletcher after two years of avoiding it.
“That is an overwhelming majority,” Silena says and you know, just by the way her eyes slide over to you, that she didn’t even bother to actually count. “Lee, you may now kiss Luke.”
There’s this moment where you think Lee is going to just leave but instead he stares at the boy next to you, the relaxed set to his jaw, the annoying baseball cap on his head, how he’s so unbothered by it all. You watch as something clicks in his mind, you really want to know what it is.
Whatever it was, it makes him grab the bottle again, ignoring Silena’s protests. It lands on the girl from Luke’s debate team and she straightens her back ever so slightly.
“Silena,” Lee says as he leans towards the girl. “I’m not going to kiss Luke or his girlfriend.”
“Damn straight,” Luke mumbles, grabbing your hand from your lap and holding it in his instead. It’s stupid and it really doesn’t matter to either of you, you know that, but there’s this way he says it - almost like it’s the worst thing he could’ve imagined - and it settles in your gut with the beer you’ve been drinking. “Me or my girlfriend.”
“I’d really like to meet her,” you say, laughing when he huffs and pulls his hat down on your head. When you push the visor up to see him properly, all rosy cheeks and compacted curls, you think you might have found it. Whatever it is.
Based on the way Luke’s nose scrunches and his eyes crinkle, you think he understands that too.
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you’re the only one who understands
what is it like to say goodbye to your partner without saying goodbye?
kaeya x reader
implied major character death, sudden death, teenage angst
notes: please listen to keshi-understand while reading this!! I promise you won’t regret it <3
it was around 7pm. sitting in front of your laptop, your eyes already red, probably from the exhaustion at your university….or maybe, the expectation to greet kaeya at this certain time, while you both have been in this long distance relationship for a while.
you texted him, expecting him to immediately reply, knowing that would happened, it’s currently evening in his area and he’s a night-owl at that, evening is his awakening if you might titled him.
“wanna facetime?”, you send him the text. you were already smiling by that time, just seeing his profile picture or his chat, makes your day…a much better hell.
i expected it, he’s online now…hmm and he’s typing! i wonder if he put my contacts exclusively outside his do not disturb notifications…well, we can wonder?
kaeya called…i guess he immediately knows it’s time, huh?
“hey..”, his voice raspy; sweet i thought. Though it’s weird that he’s tired, it’s still 9pm in his timezone.
“Why so tired”, a gap of silence, maybe he fell asleep?…or maybe his eyes are already sticky enough that it could easily closed down. “…hmm, a bit.”
“you sound raspy, ironic, you’ve always been the one to remind me to drink my water.”
“hey, even that reminder can be exhausted”. He sighs, you can imagine that he’s doing the facetime exactly in his bed, while all of his caffeine products are everywhere around the floor. Kaeya is nowhere near the word clean. He chuckles slightly, continuing his words with question. “Hey, when will you comeback?”
“i don’t know, summer break maybe?”, unsure, worried, and excited. Three emotions in combine, maybe he misses you?
“chonky misses you…and...that applies to me as well.” dang i miss chonky, his cat, his big chonky cat that always purr whenever a stranger pet him. He has no survival skill for sure.
“what? Why? you’ve always texted and facetime me as well..chonky should’ve been the only one to miss me, not you, silly.”
“i need somebody to talk to..”
“you can always text me.”
“no, like real person. Like you and me.”
“you make it complicated kae.”
“fine”, he sighs. You replied, trying your best to assure him despite how much of a bitch that sounds before. “sorry, i know you must’ve been lonely. Diluc says you’ve been bed rotting all day long.”
“Dang, he must’ve worked for you.”, he finally chuckles.
yet he continued his questions, he always been one to prey over small details.
“say, what if i’m going to another place tomorrow? Will you…just say, visit me before i leave..?”
“why not?”, he heard that word and chuckles. “Just say yes or no, please?”, with your ego out of this world, you mumble a quiet…”sigh…yes, i will..”
“then if i go tomorrow? Will you visit me?”
“where?”
“hmmm wanna make a guess?”
“Univ?”
“better”
“New job across the town?”
“even better”
“Fuck i don’t know kae..just tell me already.”
“It’s a secret, just come back already…i miss you so much.”, he chuckles while opening his camera. You can see how he smirks like a childish moron. “If you come back home, i promise i’ll let you see chonky with his tie again.”
“that’s a hard thing to resist urgh!!! Fine i’ll come back tomorrow, i think my siblings won’t mind my existence till next week. I’m free after all..” , you tell him while opening your camera as well and give him the picture of you just moving around the bedroom, you’re currently tidying up your place while in the call. “promise me you will okay? I have a surprise, you’ll love it”, he gives you the small sighting of a…present. A red box. “It’s for your late birthday, sorry i’m not much of a good boyfriend it seems”, he say that before closing down his camera and giggles like a maniac.
“you don’t have to act romantic in order to love me you know, let me thank you properly with a templated paragraph hahaha.”
“idiot.”, he replied shortly, you know he’s happy and that makes you all smiley. Your cheeks are red, yet he doesn’t seem to care for it…cause if he cares, then you would hide it from him. “I’ll end it now okay? I wanna sleep..chonky is being a rascal for making me run to catch him.” , you laugh, you know he’s tired so you just made a muffled “hmm”, before he says,
“i’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight..” he gives off a smooch and end it. You send an emoji to his chat instead. A white love emoji.
[name] 10.12pm : bye kaeya, love you.
he read it.
kaeya 10.18pm : 🤍
ring…ring…ring…
Kaeya? I’m here. Sorry i’m late…
ring…ring….
ring…ring….
kaeya?
your phone is ringing kaeya. Pick it up. I’m here, please call me back.
ring…ring…
20 miss calls from [name] 🤍
kaeya?
why are you so quiet?
It’s not like we’re distant.
i might forget to drink my water now.
I’ll miss you.
And i wish to understand you better,
before you eventually say goodnight to me.
you’ll always stay 21 forever now kae, but i’ll keep celebrating your birthday, even if nobody remembers you anymore.
notification: Today is kaeya’s 30th birthday, do you want to celebrate it? 🎉🎁
taglist: @esthelily @indarius @n0tamused @sangoqueenkoko @voidlesslove @lyralibra @eroxotckv @rikasurl @dailypenpen @daydreaming-paradies
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#kaeya x reader#genshin impact fics#genshin impact fanfic#kaeya alberich x reader#kaeya angst#kaeya alberich angst#kaeya x reader angst#kaeya alberich x reader angst#genshin impact angst#genshin angst
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im so going to puke from all of this stress and anxieties im getting it’s not even funny
#im stressed out about school. im stressed out about my party. im stressed about trying to manage making posts on here.#im so… exhausted.#i might need to take a break.#NOT a long one!! i just need some time to get through the marking period of my school and my party AND THEN I’ll be back to posting on here#it’s been… putting me off from eating and drinking. it doesn’t feel good having all of this stress on me.#i know it’s not from being stressed out from being on tumblr but like… some small parts… it is.#but it’s largely school and my party.#it’s been making me more irritable towards some people irl and really anxious too…#i just need to time to push through those things#and less time centering around being online#because if i don’t get my mental health back together then i won’t be able to make any actual posts for myself or for you guys…#I’ll probably be back around November. Just. Don’t think I left you guys. Okay?#I’ll be reblogging some stuff but I’ll still be on break which means I won’t be around to posting stuff; to answering the inbox;#or to answering messages either. I hope you all understand I’m not avoiding you but that I’m trying to help fix a bump in the road for my#mental health. Thank you if you read these tags. I’ll see you guys in a bit. :)#(me reblogging stuff will be sent through my queue. that will be getting it’s own queue/break tag. you’ll see it when it happens or#when it gets added to the pinned post.)
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Sometimes I just feel like writing a fic where chapters are episodic and I don’t have to elongate an event cause I finished it in one chapter.
And this is where I pull out a fake presentation talking about a 1930s Jancy au that is a slow burn friends to lovers where they get into weird situations and go on adventures like it’s a book written by L.M. Montgomery and has a similar energy to Little Women.
#ok I have to admit that I am horrible at writing about one event for too long#when I was in my creative writing class I noticed when writing a book for my final project that I could write one paragraph for each chapter#I was unable to write a chapter that was multiple pages#because of this I think that writing something more episodic would be good for me to write becuase then I’ll probably finish it#I think I’m also much better at writing things that are short and sweet and get straight to the point#I love all of my other au ideas that I have or want to put into fics but I think I need to start writing in a zone that I’m comfortable with#and not dive head first into something I need to work on more#so I’m going to start plotting out the first few chapters for this fic tonight and start writing tomorrow#give myself a bit of a break from drawing and allow myself to get back into writing#in way that works for me and my rollercoaster of ideas of a brain#sorry for the wall of text here in the tags and if you read them I hope you are all doing well and for those of you going back to school#or are already back I wish you good luck on your studies#btw all my other fic ideas will be written and turned into a fic or finished at some point#I don’t know when but they will be when I feel like I’m ready to dive in#(and also when I get a grasp on how to plot better with the dumb plot triangle)
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I worry this wound will never close and will continue to bleed
#I want to stop hurting so bad but im worried I never will stop hurting because of how much it still hurts and how it leaves me confused.#It’s been a few months and I still cry about it. My heart still aches and breaks when I think about it.#I thought they were someone who wouldn’t hurt me. but I guess I was fooled. I guess they always were that someone. Just hidden#it hurts to know that someone who I thought was a close friend and an ex got “together” in a way.#They aren’t exactly together together but together in a way where they’re kinda fucking#And that’s where it hurts. To know what they’re doing.#that was my closest friend. my actual soulmate I believed. and thats my ex. They got “together” a month later after we broke up.#after talking about it to a few people.. were they attracted to each other even when my ex and I were together? If so.. what was I?#And how could they do this so easily? Or am I just overthinking/overreacting?? I don’t know. I need someone to tell me#I look back when my friend & I were still friends. I think I started to lose them during the beginning of summer last year#I just tried believing I wasn’t and things would fall back into place soon. but they weren’t.#They just said one thing and left. Leaving me alone in the dark.#I don’t know.. I get it in some way? I was in a bad place and probably draining for them to stay but like#Idk.. I guess I can understand why they left me. but why get with someone who I dated and start.. fucking.#im so hurt by this. I’m worried this wound will never close and that I’ll be a wounded dog chained to the tree forever.
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exams really just go on forever and ever and ever and ever
#sorry about this one but it’s just hit me that i’m literally not getting a break cause of the german listening#3 days between them i guess and then that’s it we’re back with 6-7 hour school days#how the hell do they think this is sustainable we just don’t get to stop ever#what’s the line like. it keeps happening it fucking keeps happening and i just want to lie down without needing to be doing something else#hghhhgvhnbgghhbghnbghvvbvav#the biggest break it’s possible to get is one school week. 5 days without exams or revision sessions jesus christ what are they doing#and i know i know it’s not their fault and that ultimately it’s an inherent flaw within the way exams work#and that actually they probably don’t want this either. but could they at least say that to us at some point#if they just went hey this sucks but this is what you’ve gotta do and offered a shred of sympathy rather than just shitty#seemingly non genuine positivity i would feel so much better#ok. ok i’m more normal having said all those words probably still gonna post this but then like delete it later or something#i’ll be fine i’m just so tired and will apparently be so tired for the foreseeable fr#but then there’s the future beyond what’s foreseeable and it’ll all get better then. it’ll be fine#ezra’s real life rambles
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I hate when my brain goes into full depression mood and bringing up my biggest fears….
#I hate period mood swings#my brain always plays tricks on me and I can’t cope#I have difficulti to make conversations because whenever I have a great time my fears decide to appear like hello… you can’t be happy we’re#still here….#it feels like that if I disappear now no one would notice#or that no matter what I do I’ll end up alone and lonely#because it already happened too many times#dunno why…#I know I’m over the board unhinged and annoying most of the time#but I tell this beforehand to everybody so they know what to expect#the thing is that I get attached to people so easily and when we have a fallout I don’t handle it well#sometimes when my brain is mushy like this I too push away people…#to protect myself before they leave me ☹️#anyways I just needed to let this out#probably will disappear for a few hours to read or whatever to get my mind out of this state#because I’m a on the verge of breaking down and delete myself from everywhere…#but I’d miss too many lovely people so break time it is…#Lola’s ramblings
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Just found the absolute worst take on YikYak 😭
#Can’t believe the girl from those mysoginistic 2005 memes is real#anyway I don’t think I need to tell anyone on this website but honesty is the best way to cultivate a healthy relationship!!#and I know that’s rich coming from someone whose boyfriend doesn’t know they’re genderfluid but I have good reasons#for one I literally forgot I was genderfluid when we started dating 💀#and then when I remembered I realized that I had no good excuse for my mom if he broke up with me after coming out#(which would be sad but understandable)#like what am I supposed to say? ‘Yeah he broke up with me bc I’m genderfluid. Btw I’m genderfluid’#and probably be punished in some way???? no thanks#so I’ve been waiting until she would reasonably accept that he just doesn’t feel that way about me anymore#which will be spring break#I’ll tell him over text at the start so that he can ruminate without having to see me for a while#ANYWAY that’s not the point of this post the point is to clown on this girl who actually exists… somehow
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.
#personal#just had to leave my shift early bc anxiety attack lmao#so much for getting a break just by taking the week off teaching#my boss is gonna be like ‘feeling better :)?’#and I’m gonna have to lie and say yes i am not still very burnt out bc i have most definitely had the week off to recover#fuck me.#i just texted my disability employment services provider to tell him i wanna quit this call centre job#I’ve been holding out on it for the past 3 weeks bc I’d have to look for jobs if I don’t do this job#but I don’t think it’s worth signing into a job you already wish was over an hour before it starts#I’d rather do one job that I’m confident in and doesn’t make me feel like throwing up my stomach out of my tear ducts#and search for something small on the side that only needs me casually instead of part-time#2 part-time jobs makes a full-time anxious mess#i haven’t been able to do any lesson planning for next week either like i thought I’d have time to do#anyway…#I’m gonna go cry for a bit and then take a nap#and I’ll probably take myself out for a mental health walk bc i havent been doing any exercise or sleeping well or anything for the past lik#2 months#it’s a hard knock life
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#I would kill my ex ‘p’ to become rich.#I would kill my ex ‘m’ to obtain even more beauty and attract even more people.#I would beat up my ex ‘b’ to the point of him almost dying to have a nice house and the best of the best of things.#I would beat up my bf ‘d’ to be more mentally stable so that I am balanced and at peace with myself and my life.#I would kill my ex ‘k’ to become a well known scholar who has many degrees in maths science and philosophy and to preform surgery&research#I would step on anybody to get to where I want to be in life if it meant making myself happy.#I just manipulated my bf into feeling bad for me because I genuinely just want to feel good and secure even if that’s at his expense.#he’s right.. I don’t care about anyone more than myself and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. why should I put someone above myself?#I’ll tell you what.. until someone can show me that being a good honest generous person can get me anywhere I’ll keep doing what works :)#grey god#puppets#and I genuinely just don’t like or care for others. there’s always something I want in return when it comes to relationships with others.#I find humans disgusting and faulty and I don’t care if I add to their pain because it’s usually to benefit me and if it doesn’t it’s to-#-get back at others for hurting me. or I’m bored. I probably have the most sick and twisted mind of anyone I know. I think people know that#-tho but they still keep me around and help me out whenever I need it. it’s all a show for me and for them. people are so stupid and they#-genuinely think doing the right think helps them. it doesn’t. it’s kind of sad. I just know that once ‘d’ realizes I’ve taken him for -#-everything he’s got it’ll be too late and he’ll have to deal with how much better I am than him and how much I’ve grown leeching off of-#-his emotional labor. I just jump from one person to another taking what I want and what I can. I don’t think I’ve genuinely loved anyone.#I’ve always been this way. I almost love people but then I just truly don’t. it’s more fun to see how far I can break them before#-they can’t do it anymore. I hope that everyone I’ve ever hurt continues to hurt forever and that they never grown or evolve.#’d’ told me tonight that I ruined his life. ‘b’ told me I ruined him. ‘m’ is a coward and he said he’ll never love again.#’k’ is a used up simple minded loser. ‘p’ is a stunted delusion addict with me issues for the rest of his life. notice I said me issues and#not daddy or mommy issues lol. I have tricked them all. they are all pathetic and whimpy fucks.#the day I grinded against ‘d’s sluty ass again after I ‘raped him’ he told me to go slow but it made me think.. what if I just raped him?#I could just do it and he won’t do shit about it. he’ll forgive me like always. he’s an insecure loser. I wanted to just take my dick-#and shove it down his throat and then ruin his hole with it#but I didn’t. I respected what he said but the fact that I thought about it isn’t good.
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So basically I’ve been spreading the phrase “silly quirky” around my department kind of to show that we all have little quirks and it’s okay to be different, and people have adopted it and generally use it in good faith, but I have a theory (with good evidence) that the freshman just genuinely does not like autistic people, and it’s making me really bummed out since she’s one of my close friends :(
#there’s this guy that’s almost definitely on the spectrum because he’s just like me fr and we get along really well#and he left for class and freshman IMMEDIATELY went ‘he’s always creeped me out. he’s so weird’#girl how can you say that about him :( he’s just living his life and getting a degree like us#and another guy joked about freshman being ‘low functioning’ (bad joke. i know. but this is SD it’s just part of life here)#and she got soooo bent out of shape about it. she really crossed a line from ‘joking’ to straight up micro aggressions (dude is black)#and idk. it’s rich coming from her because she’s ADHD and she should really be on our side#but like. sure tease and bully the people who are silly quirky.#i think I’m going to call her out soon bc I’m reaching my snapping point#yes I’m feeling like this because she was mean to my crush and called him creepy#but also she complains and is mean nonstop. i feel like I need to stop that before someone gets hurt#and it’ll probably be one of the silly quirky people who breaks first.#it would feel sooo good to be like ‘you know what? you’re being a bully right now and I’m not going to tolerate that.’#and then get up and leave. or say something like when was the last time you said something nice about someone?#honestly she depends on me quite a bit for schoolwork help. so I think if i refuse to help her it’ll really drive my point home#but idk. i sit next to her in class 4x a week so it would be awkward#i mean I am perfectly capable of being nice and polite despite how I’m feeling#but I don’t think she’s capable of that. luckily though I have a good reputation with our profs#and she is slowly digging herself a grave. we’ve all watched them slowly get more tired of her shit#the snarky comments during class. the joking around at inappropriate times.#like if this comes to a head I’ll come out on top due to pure reputation let alone my anti-bullying stance#idk. im thirsty and then i gotta go to bed#we’ll see what happens tomorrow but I think im done listening to her shit talk people#diary post#oh also she found out who my crush is on (because she was being mean to him) and she was like you told religious friend before me?? :(#like take a step back and look at how you’re reacting. you told me to stop having a crush on him because he’s creepy and weird.#religious friend was supportive and offered to give me his number.#she thinks she’s so important to me but honestly after I graduate I’ll probably only talk to her like twice a year or whatever#idk. now IM being the bully and that’s not cool of me. I’m just frustrated I think and I’ll be better tomorrow#(also advisor said I was ALWAYS on his good side so huge win for me ❤️❤️❤️❤️)#(and he said I’m not being manipulative by being nice to people I’m not really a fan of. so suck on that freshman 🖕)
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MOVED TO @seratopia
miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - jealousy
miguel gets jealous possessive after a new intern flirts with you
this is part of the same universe as my call oneshot!
Being 2nd in charge of the multiverse is... honestly not that hard for you. It’s mostly just co-leading, and being a secretary. Lyla helps out a bunch, but sometimes, a sassy AI can only do so much.
Jess informed you of a new intern she recruited. Apparently, he’s having his first day today, which means you’ll probably have to do a quick run-through of things with him later.
For now, it’s your fated duty to sit with Miguel at his desk so he doesn’t get all pouty later. He starts huffing and puffing when you aren’t near, takes it out on the kids sometimes.
Thanks to your suggestion, Miguel invested in a nice desk and swivel chair for the office, so now it looks more like an actual workspace instead of a maniac’s plot room. (either way, he his one lmao)
Since Lyla’s gone for the time being, you’re standing up on the office platform, tapping away at a multitude of screens. Miguel lays lazily in the office chair, swiveled up behind you to rub his face into your upper back, as well as run his hands along your tummy.
“Hun, you gotta let go. I needa tour the intern.” You mutter, closing in on an ID photo of the recruit.
“No.“
“Well, if I don’t do it, then who will?“ You ask.
“Jess.“
“She’s busy on her break. Pregnant women need breaks, you know.“
“Ugh. I don’t want you to leave.“ He whines. squeezing you tighter.
You start squirming out of his grip, pulling his pinky off of your stomach. Inching away, you push Miguel away by his head. Reluctantly, he starts letting you go, lazily running his hands onto the skin of your hips and lower thighs before letting go.
“I’ll see you in a bit, baby.“ You say, scuffing up his hair with your palm. Gracefully, you leap down from the platform, somersaulting onto the floor and skating out the exit. You hop over a few stray cardboard boxes.
Miguel watches you stroll away, and fixes his hair back into place.
Lyla magically appears, phasing in and out with a different sly look each time. She snickers, flickering all around Miguel’s head.
“Whipped.“
“Shut the fuck up.“
. . .
Miguel’s blood starts to boil as soon as you roll in with that stupid, bastard of an intern. He’s too close to you for comfort, so close to his arm nudging yours... Miguel’s teeth start to clench, his fangs close to drawing blood from his mouth. He’s paying too much attention to you, there’s a vibe he gets that he hates to his core.
Everything about him is aggravating; the blonde hair, the snarky smirk, all of it.
“...and this is Miguel’s office!“ You say, gesturing your hand to the majority of the area.
“Sweet, nice to meet the bossman.“
Bossman, his ass. Miguel would only ever let you call him bossman.
“Miguel! Come down!“ You yell, and his heart warms in his chest. He turns around from his standing form on the office platform, eyeing the intern in order to scare him a bit.
“Hey, what’s up man! Glad to finally meet the man behind the slaughter!“ The intern exclaims, his hands rested on his hips.
Miguel fights every urge to both roll his eyes and tackle the recruit, keeping a somewhat straight face on. He chuckles a little, not a single trace of a smile on his face.
“Heh, yeah? Excited to meet the bossman?“ Miguel taunts, but it looks like the intern can’t tell he is.
“Heck yeah dude! Where do I start?“
Miguel starts nodding a little, plastering on a face smile, chuckling a bit...
Before he throws the entire office chair at the recruit. Not to hit you, though. He’d never, ever hit you.
Instantly, the intern turns away, shielding his body with his hands. In the nick of time, though, you latch your webbing onto the chair, slinging it away to side before it could harm anyone. You cross your arms.
“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry about tha- MIGUEL!“ You scream.
And he throws a literal file cabinet at the man. Again, you latch it out of way without problem.
“What th'heck, man?! What’s your fuckin’ problem?!“ The intern yells, spreading his arms out.
“My fuckin’ problem is you nagging my wife!“ He roars.
“Wait a sec- she’s your wife?“
Miguel then leaps down from the platform, chin held up high in a sinister glare. Slowly, he steps over towards the both of you, fixing his eyes on the intern the entire time.
Miguel’s tall, really tall compared to the newbie. He pokes his finger to the recruit, leaning in real close.
“Stay at least 5 feet away from my wife at all times.“ Miguel utters, and you kinda feel bad for the new guy.
You cross your arms. “C’mon, Miguel. He’s literally new, take it easy on him!” You say back, and Miguel pouts, whines. Possessively, he reaches over to you, pulling in you in by the hip to try to soothe you. It doesn’t work, and you present yourself from giving into his needy touches.
And then, you turn around back to the newbie. “Gosh, I’m so sorry about that! He’s usually not like this-”
“Man, fuck this.“ The intern exclaims, taking a few steps back in agitation. “Take me back home, I ain’t dealin’ with this shit!“
He storms off, kicking a stray cardboard box on the way out.
“Aw, crap.“
“Finally.“
You swerve back around, hands on your hips. “Miguel, that was uncalled for.”
“Yes it was! He was smothering all over you!“ He yells, throwing his hands up in the air like it was the most obvious thing ever.
“Well, now thanks to you, we lost a recruit.“
“One of literally thousands!“
“And now, there’s papers everywhere on the floor!“
“Shhh, honey, I’ll clean it up later.“
Ignoring your frown, Miguel finally pulls you into him, pressing your lower back into his own with a nose into your hair.
“I saw the way he put his arm around you. He was flirting with you too. Hated it.“ Miguel utters.
“When?“ You ask.
“On the surveillance.“ He says, and you sigh. He’s right, the guy was flirting with you for a bit, but you chose to ignore it so you could get over with the tour faster.
“Eh, he gave me the heebie jeebies from the beginning.“ You say, and Miguel automatically squeezes you tighter into him, a deep grumble bellowing from his inner throat.
“I’m never letting you tour anyone ever again.“ Miguel admits.
“After that? Go ahead.“ You scoff, and finally, he sighs in relief.
He tries drags you back to the office platform again, but then forgets that he threw the chair, grumbling in regret. Instead, he just hovers behind you for the rest of the day, occasionally pressing a smooch to your head.
#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o'hara x y/n#atsv miguel#atsv x reader#atsv lyla#atsv#across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse x reader#fluff#romance#x reader#reader insert#lyla#spiderman#cosmosis-writes ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎
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UPDATE I FOUND THE CLIP ON YOUTUBE AND I GOT THROUGH TEN SECONDS BEFORE I SAID “AWWW” OUT LOUD AND THEN I TEARED UP AGAIN
#I KEEP ALMOST CRYING OVER GHOSTBUR WOSVAKSGAKGSKAVSJSV#I NEVER CRYYYYYYYY#GOSH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH#I THOUGHT MY FAVORITE CHARACTER WAS WILBUR FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS#BUT NO#THAT IS JUST NOT TRUE#GHOSTBUR IS MY FAVORITE AND HE WILL BE MY FAVORITE AND WILBUR CAN STAY IN SECOND PLACE#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH#this really does beg the question: when will I break#because I think it’s inevitable at this point#one day I’ll probably just start sobbing over Ghostbur and LET’S HOPE THAT HAPPENS WHEN I’M ALONE OKAY#I NEED TO GRIEVE FOR HIM OR SOMETHING#I DON’T KNOW#goshhhh I love Ghostbur so much 😭 this is a little bit Insane…#I’ve never liked a character as much as Ghostbur I don’t think aksgaksgahg#he’s just… ough <3#I love him. your honor#I got up at 1am last night in the dark with no lights and wrote a poem in the dark with no lights about Ghostbur and I could barely see the#the paper and the ink but I WROTE IT ANYWAY#I need to end this post right freaking now or I will explode#my post#my DSMP thoughts
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DPXDC prompt: Dead on main. No trick only treat.
~~Сhildhood friends and deals~~
The Justice League has to summon a ghost from another dimension to address the threat. They don’t know what price the Ghost King will take but there’s little time to bargain. Another spirit threatening them has already seized all the computers on their base.
John doesn’t know what else to offer. A summoned ghost starts to look bored. Gold, jewelry? A favor from a member of the League? Like the Ruler of All Dead needs it. No one dares to make another offer, and the King is in no hurry to set out his demands. Maybe try to pull off a soul sale scam?
Suddenly, Red Hood breaks into the hall, walks up to Phantom and shakes his shoulder vigorously.
Red Hood: You, get Technus out of here right now. I need access to the files and fast.
Phantom: That’s rude, dude. Where did you grow up? in the cave? No "hello, no how are you, Danny", really?
Red Hood: I’ll pay the usual price.
Phantom: Deal.
What is the price?
John sees Batman and gets in his way. The usual price, his guy said. Means Jay was already out of the deal alive and well. This hyperprotective bat would only piss off the ruler if he interfered.
The King quickly deals with his subordinate using a thermos and remains to watch working Hood.
Red Hood: What do you want? I’m busy.
Danny: You and I have a contract~
Red Hood: All right, all right.
Jay throws M&Ms right in the face of the ghost. But king doesn’t look angry. He opens the package and starts sorting the candies by color. Phantom quickly eats up all the green ones and passes the red ones to Hood. Jason takes them without any questions.
Strange. John has never seen a summoned creature share its reward with a human. And the son of a bat looks too comfortable with it. Wait, since when do super-powered beings think that candy is a decent wage?John makes one of the most likely deductions using his experience.
Constantine: Batsy, how long has your son been sleeping with the King of Ghosts?
Batman: He…what?!
~~~~~~~
Dick *knocking at the door*: Little Wing, you hate ectoplasm and everything what is neon green, so why? He’s dangerous!
Jason who turned on the music to not listen to his crazy family: ~He’s poison but tasty~
Dick: NoOOoo
~~~~~~
Jason: And now everyone thinks that I sold my virginity to you for a bargain or something, because interdimensional creatures like you aren’t supposed to help for nothing. Like you’re playing favorites. I’m gonna fucking kill John.
Danny: Well, I wouldn’t say no to that.
Jason: What?
Danny: I mean, to k-kill John, yeah. How dare he..
Jason: Omg, you’re still so terrible liar, Fenton.
Danny: Sorry :(
Jason: No. Say it again.
~~~~Twelve years ago~~~~
Maddie wasn’t thrilled to learn that Danny was trying to make friends with Todd’s son. Their neighbor was terrible. And his son was definitely a street rat and probably a juvenile delinquent.
Maddie: Danny, honey, there’s got to be a reason this boy is talking to you. Even kids from the crime alley are always looking for a bargain they can make or a fool they can fool.
Danny: But Jason is so cool! He knows so much about books and alleys and..
Maddie: But you don’t want to be a fool, do you?
Danny: Okay, Mom, I get it.
So, if Danny wants a cool friend, he’s got to offer a bargain.
He didn’t have a lot of pocket money for every month but Jason needed it more anyway. And his lunch that Jack was picking for him was big enough for two and only bitten on Tuesdays. Nice.
Jason: Do I understand correctly? You will pay me and give me food, and I, what? Protect you from bullies?
Danny: No! I’m not weak, I don’t need to be protected. Just..maybe we could sit together at lunch and walk each other home sometimes?
Jason: Nay
Danny: But why? You want something else?
Jason: Money’s fine but your homemade food is…strange.
Danny: I can bring sweets if you want.
Jason: Deal. 3 pop tarts for a joint lunch, a party size bag of M&Ms if you waste my time out of school.
~~~~
Sometimes they share sweets when they hang out but more often Jayson takes them home to save in case his parents have money problems. Sweets have a long shelf life stored and he may not be afraid to poison himself.
Over time, candy becomes their currency and a secret language for all occasions.
Need help without unnecessary questions? M&Ms. Problems with learning? Skittles. The question is about family? Snickers. There will be a serious conversation? Pop Tarts.
Jason: One snickers and a pack of gum.
Danny: Yeah, Jason? What do you want?
Jason: My mom wants to meet my friend. Come to lunch on Sunday.
Danny: Okay, you managed to pay for my expensive services.
Jason:…and you just lost the gum from the deal.
~~~~~~
Jason threw a package at Danny: Three pop tarts. We need to talk.
Danny: All right?
Jason: Why are you avoiding me all week?!
Danny: Well, it’s just..you’re Wayne now.
Jason. Still Todd. And what about that?
Danny: You can hang out with the cooler guys now, I didn’t want to embarrass you.
Jason: Bullshit! I’m still the street rat, and you’re trying to avoid our contract.
me. And I don’t even need money from you anymore. What the hell? I thought you are my friend.
Danny: And I am!
~~~~~~
Robin: What’s a schoolboy doing in an alley at night?
Danny: Um, I…nothing? Don’t tell my parents, Mr. Robin sir.
Robin: It will cost you so many Chunky Bars, you have no idea.
Danny:...Jason?
Jason: N-no.
Danny: Damn yes. What are you doing in green shorts on the street at night?!
Jason: Cosplay.
Danny: Oh yeah? Then I’m just your hallucination. Don’t hesitate to ghost me. I’m going home, Disgrace In Pixie Boots, bye.
Jason: fu%&c$#u
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Eyes on me - Nanami Kento x f!reader
absolute pwp 18+ MDNI — cw: dry humping, oral, overstimulation, praise, throat fucking, a needy brat of a reader, and just all around self-indulgent filth
Fuck the euphemisms and the beating around the bush. You’re horny. You’ve been clenching your thighs all day at work. You’ve been indulging in dirty daydreams that always end in you bent over a desk. You’ve been doing kegels just to feel something.
But Kento is holed up in his office, ignoring you.
You pace back and forth in front of the door to his home office. You figure you should leave him be. He already hates overtime, and he’s probably in a rotten mood. But you’ve had such a long day, and you’re so wound up now, you won’t get through even the coldest shower without breaking and touching yourself. And to be fair, you’re usually fine with touching yourself. But right now, you need to be touched by him.
“I can hear you clomping around out there.”
You stop in your tracks, grimacing. You hear Kento sigh before he says, “You can come in.”
You open the door a sliver and peek in to see Kento with his head propped up in one hand, the other poised over a pile of documents. Still working, as you thought. And a full hour past quitting time, which explains why his brow is pinched with annoyance.
“What do you need, sweetheart?” he asks, eyes locked on yours.
“I was, uh…lonely. Just wanted to see you,” you grin sheepishly, stepping into the room and closing the door behind you. He says nothing for a moment, just looks you over with those sharp, observant eyes. Those eyes that burn through you, pooling molten warmth in your gut. You fidget under the weight of his gaze and squeeze your thighs together, trying not to look as desperate as you feel.
“Hmm,” Kento murmurs, sitting back in his chair with a wry smile. “Lonely isn’t the word I would use.”
You stiffen, crossing your arms over your chest. He’s right, but hey. “Well, what word would you use then?” you huff, bottom lip poked out in a pout. He smirks.
“Needy.”
You splutter for a moment, caught. You try to explain it away, tripping over your words, while Kento observes you with an amused smile.
“Relax, sweetheart,” he interrupts you once he’s had his fill of your stammering, eyes glittering with mirth. He pats his thighs, his slacks stretched deliciously taut over the thick muscle. “Come here.”
Your heart swells, embarrassment forgotten. You rush over with the intent of clambering into his lap. He stops you for a moment, holding you at arm’s length as he smooths your hair out of your face. You’re so pent up that even that innocent action makes you want to whimper. But his smile has tempered back to a serious expression, so you bite back your desperation and try to show him you’re listening.
“I need to get these papers sorted tonight,” he says. You frown, and he sighs. “I know, I don’t want to do them either, but they need to get done. It shouldn’t take long. If you can be good and occupy yourself until I’m finished, then…”
He trails off for a moment, grazing his thumb over your bottom lip. Your nerves buzz at the short, tender contact. “Then I’ll take care of you. Understood?”
Heat unfurls at the base of your stomach. “Understood,” you salute, overeager. He chuckles.
Kento leans back to make room for you. You settle yourself in his lap, facing him, hooking your legs over his hips and pressing yourself to his broad, warm chest. He’s so tall, it’s easy enough for him to hook his head over your shoulder and keep working. You press your face into his shoulder and breathe in the fresh, familiar scent of his aftershave. You should feel calm, content, like you often do when he holds you like this. Instead you just feel even more hot and bothered, and you can’t help but want to fidget and find some friction against him.
Kento said to be good. But he also said you could occupy yourself. And then he let you climb onto his lap. So, really, hasn’t he given you permission to occupy yourself… using his lap?
A little rub wouldn’t hurt, you reason. It might help ease the sharp burn of desire between your legs—reduce the tension that has you all strung out. He already knows that you’re all worked up. You’re just taking care of yourself until he can do it for you. Yeah, you think, a little rubbing would be fine.
You shuffle your hips against him experimentally, holding your breath for a reaction. Kento does shut down your bratty antics from time to time. But he doesn’t stir, doesn’t chide you, just keeps scratching away at whatever documents he’s tending to. You shift your hips down again, more deliberately—it can’t be mistaken for repositioning. Still, he says nothing. So you shift forward again, and this time you fully grind down with the pressure you need. The friction is delicious, and a little moan bubbles up from your throat.
You feel Kento’s hand come up to grasp the back of your neck, his thumb rubbing against the sensitive spot under your ear. You freeze, a pleasant shiver running through you. He hasn’t scolded you, but his gentle grip on your neck makes you feel like he wants you to ask.
“Kento,” you mumble into his shoulder, “…Is this okay?”
“Is what okay, my love?” he replies, seemingly indifferent—as if his warm hand isn’t smoothing down the length of your back before stopping to grasp at the soft flesh of your hip. You let out a shaky breath as you shudder.
“…R-Rubbing myself on you? While I wait,” you say in a soft rush of air. You press your face into his neck, cheeks prickling with warmth.
Kento lets out a slow, measured exhale and squeezes your hip. He chuckles, the sound low and rumbling and so obviously pleased.
“Do as you like, sweetheart.”
You hear him pick up his pen again, but his non dominant hand keeps a firm grip on your hip. You feel his promise to take care of you seared into you with each pad of his fingers.
You start grinding down on him again, building a rhythm. It feels so good— the pressure and friction and warmth of him against you, even through layers of fabric. You feel him start to harden beneath you, and you smile to yourself. Even if his mind is occupied with silly paperwork, Kento’s body belongs to you and only you.
A wicked little idea starts to take form in your mind.
You let soft, deliberate sounds of pleasure spill from your lips as you grind into Kento’s steadily growing erection. You pant as you rock against him, fanning warm breath across his neck with each exhale, your lips just barely brushing his skin. You relish in how your usually unflappable lover stiffens, your soft lips and sweet little sounds curling a shudder down his spine. You don’t push it too far—you agreed to be good after all. But you dance up to the line, feeling equal parts giddy and greedy.
Emboldened by Kento’s small reactions, you slowly swirl your hips the way you know he loves, and you let out a breathy sigh of his name. You feel the muscles of his neck tense, and he clears his throat. You think he might finally chide you, but he doesn’t. Wordlessly, he reaches between you to readjust his cock so it isn’t pinned to the side as it strains against his slacks. He aligns it vertically, his flushed tip peeking out from his waistband. You grin widely, having won your prize. You’re not the only one who’s needy now.
You press down against him, rutting your clothed cunt against the underside of his cock. His breath hitches as the soft material of your shorts catches against his sensitive tip, and you know soon it’ll be smeared with precum. You rock against him with a fervor now, trying to shift your hips at a better angle each time, pitching your pelvis forward to try and catch more of your clit on each down and upward motion. Trying to get more of that delicious friction that’s pooling wetness in your panties. But even as you pant softly into his shoulder and work yourself against him, you know it won’t be enough.
It’s all Kento’s fault. Before you met him, an orgasm was a simple delight that your own fingers could give you with ease. But now your body knows him. It knows how he feels pressed deep into you, snug against your cervix, filling you up completely. It knows the true depths of pleasure that you’re capable of feeling only when he’s inside you. Even if he hasn’t left any lasting marks, Kento has engraved himself into your body.
You need him to fill you. And right now, you’re warm and wet, but so empty.
You whimper, rocking yourself faster, more desperately. It feels good—really good—but the more you try to chase that goodness to an orgasm, the quicker it seems to slip away. You’re riding a wave that refuses to crest and crash down—it just undulates over and over. You screw your eyes shut, trying to focus on that small flame inside you, trying to get it to burn just a little bit brighter.
Then all of a sudden, Kento’s other hand is sinking into your hip and he’s griiinding up into you with so much pressure that you gasp.
“Not enough, is it?” Kento says, his voice husky and strained.
You let out a sound halfway between a whimper and a sigh of relief. “Not enough. I need you,” you pant, your hips still bucking against his—chasing the heat of his reciprocating friction.
Without warning, Kento stands up, and you squeal as you lose balance on his lap. You lock your legs around his waist and throw your arms around his shoulders to avoid falling. He uses one arm to hold you up, and with the other hand he neatly gathers and tucks his documents into a drawer. With a soft grunt, he sits you down on his cleared desk.
You start to release your koala-like hold on him, only for him to pull you into a searing kiss that has you scrabbling at the nape of his neck for purchase. His tongue licks into your mouth with a force and precision that makes you moan. You kiss him back in earnest, your legs still locked around his waist, drawing him in as close as you can.
You both part, panting. Kento caresses your cheek with his thumb as he looks at you with those dark, lust-glazed eyes that say without words that he intends to devour you. Then he places a hand in the center of your chest and gently pushes you down on your back. You stare up at the light fixture, dizzied, as he lifts your legs from around his waist and scoots you further back onto the desk.
You gasp when you feel him lift your hips and remove your shorts and panties in a single, sharp tug. You’re bare to him now—the cool air making your wet folds feel icy cold. But only for a moment. Because then he presses that searing hot tongue to your core and oh. You can’t help but arch up into the sensation as the flat of his tongue slides through your folds, lapping up the mess you’ve made while waiting for him.
“Sweetheart.” You feel the affectionate name rumble against your sensitive folds. “You’re dripping. All this for me?”
“Y-yes—fuck, Kento,” you whimper as he dives in again, working his tongue into your sopping entrance before slowly licking back up to your clit. “I couldn’t wait—I need you, Kento, please—“
You’re cut off by your own moan as he seals his lips around your clit and sucks. Your hips lift off the desk to meet the hot, wet suction as best you can. He lets you press yourself into his mouth, sucking hungrily at the sensitive nub until your thighs are trembling. Then he releases your clit with a wet sound, and he works back into your soaking folds to taste you again, groaning softly as he slurps and swallows down your arousal.
That small flame you were chasing while grinding against him is now building into an all-consuming fire. You can feel the pulse of it deep in you as the sensation mounts, stronger and hotter. The pleasure Kento gives you is so intense and sudden after hours of restraining yourself, you feel your body starting to run away with the feeling—a freight train gaining speed, out of your control. You’re going to come if he doesn’t stop, and this isn’t how you want it, even as good as it is.
“Kento, gonna come,” you gasp out, clawing at the smooth surface of his desk. “Don’ wanna come—stop, stop, I don’t want to come yet—“
Kento lifts his mouth from you the moment you say stop, but he doesnt remove his face from between your legs. He peers up at you from there with those sharp eyes, half-lidded and dark. The visual alone could send you over the edge if you weren’t desperately trying to stave off your own orgasm.
“And why don’t you want to come yet?” he asks with suspicion—seemingly resentful that you pulled him away from such a delicious meal.
You swallow, trying to catch your breath. You know what you want, and embarrassment aside, you’re determined to have it.
“Wanna come on your cock,” you say softly.
It’s not just dirty talk, or a move to play up his ego. You need it. You’ve needed it all day—to come undone with him splitting you open, filling every inch of you.
The moment you make your request, Kento’s expression shifts, and for a second, your desperate desire is mirrored on his face. Then in a quick succession of motions, he’s standing up, undoing his belt, pulling his cock out of his pants, and yanking your hips towards him with such sharpness that you yelp.
“You’re so good, you know that?” he murmurs as he leans over you, one hand aligning his cock with your entrance. He cups your face, tilting it so you look into his eyes as he presses the blunt head against your opening. You whimper at the beginning of the stretch.
“So fucking good for me. So perfect,” he rasps, his eyes burning. “Asking for what you want like a good girl. You want to come on my cock? Then go ahead and come, sweetheart.”
He slams into you in one precise thrust that has you squealing at the sudden, blinding-hot stretch of it—the press of it into the deepest parts of you all at once. Even if you’ve had it a thousand times before, the way he fills you still hits you like a boulder. He thrusts once, twice, three times, each devastatingly deep, and you’re gasping for air as if he’s fucked all the breath out of you.
This. This is exactly what you needed. To be taken apart by him in the way only he can. You can’t contain the blaze that’s been built by your dry humping, and the wet heat of his tongue, and him, just him—the man that drives you wild just by sitting there and doing paperwork. Kento holds your gaze as he fucks into you, looking at you like you’re a treasure, like he wants to eat you alive, so utterly devoted that it makes your heart swell, and it’s too much. It’s all too much, in the very best way.
Everything locks down and the heat explodes. You cry out his name when you come, your body shuddering and writhing with the force of it. Kento stills his hips and lets you pulse and clench around him as it works, and you swear you only ever want to come with him inside of you—the fullness radiating pleasure into the deepest parts of you.
When you finally come down from your high, you’re still trembling, and Kento is smoothing your hair out of your face as he studies you. His expression is soft but dark in an indecipherable way.
When your lucid eyes find his, he asks, “Did that feel good, sweetheart?”
You nod weakly, and you feel his cock jump a little inside you. He smiles softly, tracing his thumb over the apple of your cheek.
“Mm, that’s good, love. Now give me another.”
Before you can process it, before you can open your mouth to protest, he’s drawing out of you and plunging back in with full force, and you scream.
Your brain and body are already fried from your first orgasm, haven’t had time to recalibrate—and he wants another. And he seems determined to take it from you.
Kento sets an unforgiving rhythm, pounding into you with deep precision, bottoming out every time he rolls his hips into yours. Every drag of his girth against your walls feels like it sprays off sparks of electricity, and you can’t help but try to curl back from him, trying to escape the intensity of the feeling. Your recoiling is met with a firm grip on your neck—not enough to truly choke you, but enough to keep you from scrambling away.
“No running,” he says in a warning tone, snapping his hips forward with each deep thrust, never slowing his pace.
“‘s too much,” you slur out. You’re trying not to run, you’re trying your best to take it, but it’s so hard when every stroke feels so white hot.
“You can take it, sweetheart. Give me another, I know you can,” Kento coos—and you want to. There’s nothing you want more than to give Kento whatever he asks for, especially when he’s sweating and flushed and looking so in love as he thrusts into you.
“I’m trying, ‘m tryin’” you whine, hot tears starting to prickle in your eyes at the overstimulation.
“It’s okay, love, just let go. Let go and give me another,” Kento says, more softly now, moving his hand from your neck to cradle the side of your head. He presses a kiss to your forehead as he works deep in you. “You know what to say if you want me to stop.”
You shake your head, bottom lip trembling as the tears spill down your cheeks. “I wan’ to, I want to—but I can’t.”
“You can, and you will. You’re going to right now, love, I can feel it,” he says lowly, and oh. Oh. Oh fuck. He’s right.
Your body’s feedback to your brain must be delayed, because you don’t even feel your peak building until it’s suddenly there—looming over you, drawing your whole body up taut before crashing down like a tsunami. Your second orgasm blazes through you in an instant, and you let out a strangled cry as it takes you by surprise.
“Good girl, there it is,” Kento soothes as you writhe and sob through it. He finally slows his pace as you shudder and whimper and grab at his shirt to keep yourself grounded—trying to keep yourself from completely falling apart.
You lose focus of his face for a moment—your eyes must roll back, because you hear him say “Eyes on me, love” in that low, smooth voice of his. With some effort, Kento swims back into your vision—his expression a portrait of lust and reverence. If you weren’t in the throes of such miserable pleasure, you might notice how his hands are starting to shake, how his jaw is clenched, how his hips stutter as he slowly, slowly strokes in and out of you now—on the edge of losing control.
You gradually come down from your peak until you’re back on solid ground. You blink up at Kento, dazed, your head resting heavy against the hard wood of his desk. You devour the sight of him above you. He’s panting softly, a few strands loose from his usual slicked-back hair and now hanging into his eyes. His tie is loose and his dress shirt is rumpled from where you gripped it. An unkempt, sex-mussed Kento—the sight makes you throb, and you wonder how your body can still respond to him after coming twice.
At least his hips are still now, which is a small mercy for your blindingly sensitive cunt. You gaze up at him, eyes soft, as he wipes the tears from your cheeks with the pad of his thumb. You turn your head to catch his thumb in your mouth and suck it, and he lets out a low groan.
“Don’t do that unless you’re ready to give me one more, sweet girl,” he warns.
You promptly release the digit, which makes him laugh. He presses his thumb back between your lips and watches lovingly as you lave over it with your tongue then release it with a final, wet kiss. He can’t help but shudder a little, and you notice.
“Are you close?” you ask softly, and he nods.
“Don’t know if I can hold back. I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmurs, looking a little pained. You can see now the visible signs of his restraint, and it warms your heart that he’s worried about you. Even when he takes you beyond your limits, he’d never push you to the point of breaking.
“I don’t know if my pussy can take any more right now,” you admit, your thighs still trembling. “…But if you want, you can fuck my mouth,” you grin, your mouth watering at the thought.
Kento’s eyes widen, then darken, and a soft groan slips from his lips as he surges forward to kiss you.
“You dirty little thing,” he murmurs, nipping at your bottom lip before soothing over it with his tongue. “So good for me. Get on your knees.”
You scramble to comply, and Kento helps lever you up and off the desk so you can kneel at his feet. He grabs a cushion from his chair and leans down to slip it under your knees, pressing a soft kiss to your temple as he draws back to his full height. Your heart brims with affection at the simple sweetness of the action.
You look up at him with wide, adoring eyes, and press soft kisses to his thigh that make him shudder. His cock is hard and heavy between his legs, flushed and shining with your own wetness. You grab the base, testing the girth in your hands, and Kento lets out a soft, strangled sound.
“You really are close, huh?” you giggle, licking a stripe from base to tip, tasting yourself on his hot flesh.
He grits out a moan, squeezing his eyes shut as you take his swollen tip between your lips. You suck on him gently, circling your tongue around the head, and you feel him throb on your tongue in response. Kento’s hand finds its place in your hair, gripping firmly as he slowly rocks into your mouth. You open your jaw further and meet his shallow thrusts with eager bobs of your head, sucking greedily around him.
You love taking Kento in your mouth, if for no other reason than to drink in his reactions. The soft grunts and pants and groans you pull from him make you preen. You watch him through your eyelashes—the way his brow is knitted, his jaw slack and bottom lip trembling with restrained pleasure. You do your best to burn the image into your mind. Though there is one part of this gorgeous vision that could be improved. You pull off his cock with a wet sound and rest his throbbing shaft on your cheek as you squeeze the base with one hand.
“Eyes on me, Ken,” you grin, parroting his earlier words. The irony isn’t lost on Kento, who lets out a sound between a scoff and a chuckle. He dutifully opens his eyes and peeks down at you, his pupils blown wide with lust. When his eyes meet yours, he groans and turns his head away, his cock twitching against your cheek.
“I really won’t last if I look at you, sweetheart,” he says, his voice breaking with the effort to restrain himself.
“I don’t care if you last. I want to taste you already,” you grin. He huffs out a shaky breath as you rub his tip against your slick, swollen lips. “Fuck my mouth, Kento. I want you to come down my throat,” you urge him, your eyes burning into his.
His breath hitches, and you feel his hand tighten its grip in your hair. “…I can’t be gentle,” he warns you, eyes flaring and voice tight.
“Then don’t be,” you hum, smiling before kissing the tip of his cock. Kento’s hips twitch, and he groans.
“Fuck. I am going to ruin you,” he murmurs, cupping your jaw and rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip. “If you can’t take it, slap my leg. If you don’t, I won’t stop.”
A thrill runs through you, and you feel your pulse throb through your cunt. You nod, dizzied and giddy with the promise of Kento using your throat.
You slacken your jaw and place his tip on your tongue, then look up at him with expectant eyes—waiting for him to set the pace. He hisses a breath out through his teeth as he readjusts his grip in your hair—then he plunges his cock into the waiting heat of your throat.
You gag at the intrusion, but you do your best to open your throat, even as your body jerks as you choke around him. He sets an unforgiving pace, stuffing his cock down your tight, wet throat as you try diligently to take him—fresh tears burning in your eyes from the effort.
He moans as you take everything he gives you, his gaze fixed on the way your lips stretch around him—a slick mess of spit and precum clinging to his shaft and dripping down your chin as he fucks into your mouth. Tears are streaming down your cheeks now, but you don’t tap out—you just dig your fingers into Kento’s thighs, deliriously happy to choke around him if it’s for his pleasure.
“Fuck—sweetheart, you’re so fucking perfect—taking me so well, choking on me—gonna make me f-fucking come—“
Mindless praise spills from Kento’s lips like a prayer as he rocks into the wet heat of your mouth, his pleasure threatening to surge up and over the edge. You can sense how close he is now, and the thrill of it has your aching cunt throbbing again. Kento watches in amazement as you slither your hand between your thighs, rubbing haphazard circles around your clit as you gag on his cock.
You force your eyes open, tears clinging to your lashes as you look up at Kento, desperately wanting to see how he looks right now, so close to coming. You expect him to have his eyes squeezed shut with impending bliss, but you find he’s staring at you, mouth agape, gaze reverent and drunk from pleasure. And the moment your glassy, tear-filled eyes lock with his, he’s gone.
Kento comes with a choked sound, snapping a final deep thrust into your throat before stilling as his hot cum spurts down your throat.
You do your best to swallow it, but you can’t take it all. You pull off with a wet gasp, coughing and spluttering as you try not to choke on the cum coating your mouth and throat. Kento shudders through the aftershocks of his orgasm, transfixed by the sight of you gasping for air, thick strings of saliva and cum running down your chin and connecting your mouth to his cock. That heady mixture of spit and cum drips and splatters on your shirt, your thighs, the floor, as you cough and catch your breath.
Mind still hazy with pleasure, Kento fumbles around to help you. He digs through his drawers and finds a handkerchief. He kneels down, cups your jaw, and begins to wipe your wet mouth and chin. He cleans your face gently, dazed and murmuring praises—before you cut him off with a whine.
“‘M sorry, Kento,” you whimper, looking genuinely disappointed.
“For what, love? You were perfect,” he soothes, confusion knitting his brow. You meet his gaze with a frown.
“I wasted your cum. I really wanted to drink it,” you say glumly, staring at the mess of cum staining your shirt and your thighs.
A beat passes as Kento stares at you with amazement, then he huffs out an incredulous laugh. He pulls you to his chest, shaking with mirth, as he smooths a hand down your back. You melt into him, and he presses a kiss to the top of your head.
“Oh, sweetheart, that’s alright. There’s more where that came from.”
You feel his wet, spent cock stir against your thigh.
———
a/n: the first time i had multiple orgasms i thought i was gonna die. idk how you guys are surviving 3+ back to back 😭 anyways I’ve looked at this way too long—please take it away from me 💀
#nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanami smut#nanami kento#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#idk how i feel about this but I’m posting it anyways LMAO#jinnie fic#OKAY HAITCH IM TAGGING IT#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#nanami x y/n#kento nanami smut#nanami kento smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#kento nanami x y/n#nanami
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