#and obviously tons of people Do do this every year
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Date
This fic was inspired by a post from @/bhaalism (who has since deactivated due to harassment) about taking Astarion on a date post-game. I hope you all enjoy it, because it was a joy to write. <3
“Hey handsome,” Agnetha greeted Astarion, who was draping fabric for a dress he was making. For her. After all, poor dear lost nearly her entire wardrobe when her house was turned into rubble. “I have something I’d like to ask you.”
Oooooooh. He waggled his eyebrows, earning him a laugh. “Ask away! I’m all pointy ears, my love!”
She moved to hug him from behind, her long arms wrapping around his shoulders. She kissed his cheek before whispering conspiratorially, “Would you like to go on a date with me? A proper date?” She kissed his cheek again. “Please?”
A date.
A proper date.
A proper date with my darling girl.
He spun around quickly and kissed her soundly. When he tugged on her bottom lip, he squealed. “Oohoho yes! When? What time? Obviously at night I’m guessing…oh, and where? We must dress impeccably no matter what—”
“Astarion, you mad man!” She wrinkled her nose and giggled. It’s the cutest thing she does, and frankly, there’s a lot she does that is very cute. “All I’ll say is that it’s a place we’re familiar with, yes at night obviously, and tomorrow after sunset.” She booped his nose and turned, walking towards their suite door. “Now, I need to take Horace for a walk. See you soon, love.”
He stood at the mannequin dumbfounded.
A proper date with my darling girl tomorrow.
WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?!?!? WHAT IS SHE GOING TO WEAR?!?!?
***
Astarion agonized over what he and Agnetha should wear.
The agony!
And after watching him for hours lay out outfits and then put them back with the shake of his head and a tutting sound, she explained that their date would be on the rooftop of the Elfsong Tavern. “We have it to ourselves all night.” She rubbed her temples. “So please stop worrying about what to wear.”
The ecstasy!
Now that I know…I’VE GOT IT!
He thought that choosing their ensembles would help him relax.
He thought wrong.
I wonder what Agi has planned. If we have the entire rooftop to ourselves, then we could watch the stars. Cuddle. Have snacks, with her being the snack. Music? Tons of pillows? More cuddling?
Throughout the next day, he was giddy with excitement and to his embarrassment, could not stop giggling.
By the time they arrived at the Elfsong Tavern, Astarion was giggling louder than usual. He held her arm as she led them inside and towards the stairs. “Oh my gods, you are too much!” She chuckled softly then her mood shifted. “I hope I don’t let you down…”
“Ahahahaha, let me down?! Agi darling, you can’t be serious!” He let go of her arm and bolted up the stairs to the landing, hands on his hips. “You freed me from Cazador and two hundred years of torment, saved Baldur’s Gate from the Netherbrain, and you’re afraid of disappointing me? Ahahahahahaha!” He watched her fondly as she ascended the rest of the steps. For her, he chose the first dress he made her---long and form-hugging with a plunging neckline and gold accents. Green is one of her best colors, and she was the one who insisted on the lower neckline much to my delight.
She rolled her eyes playfully. “Considering how you’ve been vibrating like Horace when he knows I’m going to give him a treat, yes of course I’m going to worry about disappointing you.” When she reached the top of the stairs, she hugged him. “You’re one of the most important people in my life, Astarion. I want you to be happy. I want what I do for you to be perfect.”
“You worry too much, dear.” Far too much. She has a tincture made from those “relaxing herbs” Halsin gave her during our adventure to help settle her nerves every night. I tell her she’s doing too much, taking on too much responsibility…but she just smiles. Tells me she’s happy to have a hand in making any dream of mine come true. Tells me she’s not only content but the happiest she’s ever been. “Everything you do is perfect.”
She giggled. “I’ll keep that in mind next time I fuck up something.” Glancing at the ladder to the rooftop, she shook her head dramatically. “That just won’t do.” She pulled out a scroll of Fly and cast it on him as she snapped her fingers open the hatch above ALL WHILE FLYING THROUGH USING HER STORM SORCERY!!! Have I said that my darling girl is brilliant and far more talented than Gale?
Laughing even more, Astarion flew up the ladder and through the hatch, landing directly in from of his lover. Laughing, he pulled her face to his as her arms went around his narrow waist. “You are full of surprises, darling.”
“With a few more up my sleeve.” She winked as she kissed him again. Her kisses never fail to brighten my mood and lighten my undead heart. Sweet darling girl, what do you have planned? “This way, love.” She left his embrace, but her hands held his and led him to a pair of chaise lounges pushed together surrounded by floating candles. Is that..? “Snacks and drinks for me and beef blood from our favorite butcher for you. If you want the candle to be dimmer, just tell me and I’ll fix it.”
He watched her lovingly as she let go of his hands and flopped onto one of the lounges, taking a chocolate truffle. “You really thought of everything, didn’t you?” He murmured, pouring himself a glass of blood. “You did all this for me.” And I can’t quite believe it. “You didn’t have to, sweetness.”
She giggled a little as she chewed the truffles and grabbed another one. “Of course I did! Because I love you, Star. I love you, and I want to give you everything I can. Can’t walk in the sun? No problem!” She wrinkled her nose and smirked at him. Fucking hells. My darling girl is tempting me already. I’ll give it you right back, dear. “I’ll just do something very romantic at night with lots of cuddling. Problem solved.”
“I love it when you’re so confident, darling. It’s so very…alluring.” He put down the glass and lay down next to her, curling into her substantial side. “The most powerful sorceress on Toril, and she finally fucking acts like it.” One of his hands caressed her belly as he leaned close to her neck. “A rare and beautiful fruit that one must savor.” Not yet. Maybe later if she offers, but not now. “You wanted to show off, didn’t you, my pretty little butter bun?” he smirked, placing several kisses where he normally fed from her. “My darling giving it her all like the good girl she is. How…very…sweet.” He punctuated each word with a kiss, the hand on her belly slowly traveling upward.
She fidgeted slightly and sat up.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Before we go any further, there’s something I’d like to discuss with you, if that’s alright.”
She’s smiling. Not too wide. Her genuine smile. Maybe it’s nothing bad. I hope it’s nothing. Please don’t let it be something bad. I thought she was happy? Aren’t we happy? I’m happy, but is she happy? I thought so… “Yes, darling, of course.”
“I love you,” she began, brushing away a few of his white curls. “I know I say it all the time, but I mean it…well, every time.” She smiled at him, her brown eyes shining with a level of love, adoration, and devotion that Astarion knew all too well. Because that is always how she looks at me. As if I’m worthy of all that and more. “I love you. You mean everything to me. You’re my home. And I’m saying all this, because—”
Wait…is she…?!?!?!
“I want to know if you—”
IS SHE…?!?!
“Would like to…” She so fucking adorably bit on her lower lip. “Marry me?”
She did.
Astarion stared at Agnetha, mouth dropping open and eyes wide. His lips moved but nothing emerged for several seconds. “Marry you?” He practically squeaked in reply.
The smile on her face faded. “Yes, Star. I’m asking you if you want to marry me. If you would marry me. But only if that’s what you want, and I can understand if you don’t—”
We are not playing that little game tonight, my dear.
He yanked her face towards his roughly, silencing her with a passionate kiss. He maneuvered himself onto his back and encouraged her to lay on top of him. Oh gods, the first time I told her to do that, she started crying. “I’ll crush you, Astarion! I’ll break you!” Frankly, my dear---I don’t give a damn. I’m dead. It’s fine. Now though, she does it happily. That’s it, my good girl. “You seriously think I’d say no to having a party in my…ahem, our honor, then darling, you’re mad.” Astarion snarked, wrapping his arms around her and sighing contentedly. “The answer, of course, is yes.” As if it could be any other answer. I won’t lie---I was planning on proposing to her, but she beat me to it, the cheeky little thing. “If the question,” he whispered softly, hugging her a little tighter. “Is whether I want to be somewhere or do anything with you, the answer is always yes. I will be by your side always, and I want the world to know that.” He chuckled. “Or at the very least, our dear friends and your family.”
Agnetha laughed softly and reached for a small jewelry box. “Before we start talking about color schemes and flowers,” a white gold ring with rubies encircling the band was inside the box. She slipped it on his left ring finger, which he curiously did not have a ring on already. How funny! And how utterly perfect. “Oh thank fuck, it fits. I was worried.”
“Of course you were. Now,” he gave her a small, quick kiss. “Have something to eat and drink, darling, and get comfortable because we are going to talk about colors, flowers, decorations, dates, guest list, seating, and don’t worry, sweetness---our outfits are a top priority!” Her wedding dress will be talked about in Baldur’s Gate for generations. I will ensure that.
Adorably she pretended to be horrified as she poured herself some water and drank. “Oh my gods, what have I done?” She began to laugh and shake her head. “What monster have I unleashed this night?” Still laughing (and I am too because she’s simply too cute and funny), Agnetha took a few more chocolates and a chocolate chip cookie. She baked cookies earlier in the week for a friend she said. Hmmm, must have had several left over. “Sorry love, I couldn’t help it!”
Both now on their backs, Astarion faced her and scoffed. “Oh hush you! With how much teasing I give you on a daily basis, it’s only right and proper that you get your own back on me. Besides, I will only be demanding the best for our wedding, you know. We deserve the best. And speaking of the best, depending on how quickly we want to this planned and done, a certain kind of lily will be in season—”
“Wouldn’t it be so funny if Gale was your best man?” She sniggered, taking a bite out of the cookie. “He’d have the longest fucking speech ever, and somehow we’ll all be crying at the end of it.”
“Ugh. At that point, Halsin would be a much better best man than Gale. Wyll’s not even here, and he would be better! I could pull out a chair with Wyll’s name painted on it, and it would be the best best man ever!” Noticing her bursting out laughing, he rolled his eyes. “Darling really!”
She kissed him for what Astarion definitely thought lingered for a second too long and smiled. “We don’t even have to have a best man or maid of honor. That’s more of a Baldurian tradition, but we don’t have to go along with it. After all,” she wrinkled her nose, grinning. “We’re not exactly a traditional couple.”
Astarion nodded silently.
No, we’re not a traditional couple by any definition.
Elf. Human.
Vampire. Mortal.
Shorter than her. Very tall.
Perfectly lithe and built like a god. A deliciously sexy cream puff come to life.
But that’s just us, and that’s wonderful.
The conversation moved on to colors (white with hints of silver and gold), then to guests (apparently we do in fact have to invite Gale), and then drifted to food (Agi wants at least four tiers with each tier being different flavors to accommodate everyone’s tastes---just have it be your favorite and fuck them, darling!). After a while, Agnetha curled into Astarion’s side. He stared at the stars and then back down at the woman in his arms.
“I just realized something, sweetness.”
“Hmm?” Someone’s getting sleepy. It must be past two in the morning at least.
“I never got to ask you if wanted to marry me.”
She snuggled against his chest and sighed happily. “Yes, Astarion Ancunin, I will marry you.” She’s so sleepy. Aww. “I’ll always marry you, love…”
“I know, my darling girl. But before we can do any of that, my pretty princess needs some sleep.” He helped her to her feet, steadying her. “There’s a good girl, my love. Do you have the rune?” She charmed a pair of twin rune stones to act as a teleport directly into our bedroom, which I may or may not have abused on several occasions. She nodded, and he took it out of one of her dress pockets (you’re welcome, my beautiful butter bun) and used to get them there. He sat her on their bed and cupped her face. “May I undress you, darling?”
“Yes please…”
Everything off and in a pile. Her favorite sleep shirt and shorts. The silkiest bottoms for me. Perfect. “Have the sweetest dreams for us, my darling girl. I’ll be here when you wake.” He murmured, as he relaxed in her embrace.
“Dream’s already come true, Star.” Agnetha said, sleepily pressing a kiss to his neck. “We’re living the dream…”
He barked a laugh. “You impossibly sweet thing! Whatever am I going to do with you?”
Say it. Say it. Say it. Please, darling?
“You’ll marry me, and I’ll marry you…”
Thank you. His eyes watered as he held one of her hands.
We already belong to each other, but to not only show that but also celebrate it? When I couldn’t even dream of that a year ago? When we both have people we care about in our lives to celebrate with us? With her by my side?
Always.
#agnetha wildheart#agi x astarion#astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion bg3#astarion x tav#human tav#plus size tav#chubby tav#sorcerer tav#fluff#astarion fluff#thanks so much kita for the inspiration#domestic bliss#domestic fluff#date night#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fanfiction
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a very merry birth to our most logical boy :]
click for better quality
reblogs >> likes!! don’t like if you don’t reblog!
#logan sanders#sanders sides logan#ts logan#ts fanart#ts art#ts logic#sanders sides fanart#logan sanders fanart#sanders sides#thomas sanders#literally Howmst the Fuck did I get this done holy shit#almost there kids!! we’ve technically done all of them but I’m gonna try to do em all in a Calendar year as well just because. I am.#apparently a masochist why the hell am I doing this again#context: one year ago today I realized it was Logan’s bday panic hed posted a random coincidentally finished thing of him I had on hand#and then vowed to draw a finished piece for Every T.s Character Birthday for the next year. absolute lunacy but here we still are#continuing for the sake of Spite if nothing else#i make. good choices#hypothetically it’s really not that bad it’s like less than 10 I think over a full year#and obviously tons of people Do do this every year#but of course in the interim i have been diagnosed with ‘oh yeah basically everything’s just gonna Hurt Forever sucks for u man’ disorder so#getting less and less realistic to set. kind of Any art goal anymore :’/#and like yes yes this is also the year i decided to do pride dragons for every identity celebration day I could find#very aware#one Certified Fool right here
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#very fun list. probably applies outside of academia too imo#(reminds me a bit of an old prof of mine who was very crotchety about Students Used To Be Better And Smarter What Happened#at some point i mentioned this to *another* prof who went to the same undergrad as the original prof#and this other prof just laughed and laughed and was like. look. that man has always been the smartest guy in every room he's ever been in#there were TONS of shit students in our year but he just had the ability to ignore them#he's been bitching about this every single year since they forced him to teach undergrads again#ah nostalgia bias.)#also i do find it baffling how a lot of the people who are Most Pissy about Where Are The Good {Conversations or Art or whatever}#are often SO obviously aggro and shutting themselves out of opportunities to have those things#but if you tell them that they're like I'm Not The Problem. They're The Problem lol#(see: rob pike's self-own in that Systems Software Research Is Irrelevant rant)
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I really do hate the idea that somehow if you don't have a job you're a burden to and "useless" to society because most people don't have jobs that contribute anything meaningful to society. Sure maybe that jobless person is "useless" to society but I work in a retail shop lmao. How the fuck is that a contribution to society in any meaningful way? Like is working an HR job really the backbone that keeps society together? I once read a story where bankers went on strike for six months to "show us" how useful they were. No one even noticed so I guess they aren't the backbone of society either, and considering approximately zero farmers, grocery store workers, textile workers, or really any job that actually contributes stuff don't have wages that reflect that I'll assume your "usefulness" to society isn't what you're paid by anyway.
#winters ramblings#look at the shutdowns mcdicks workers were more useful than lawyers and thats not to say laywers are normally useless#but it shows WHICH of those jobs wed keep around in am emergency and it WASN'T the one that required 10+ years of schooling#it was the low wage shit job that probably got a ton more stressful with rick of sickness#and ive said it before but i will scream about it till i die if people were paid by how hard their work was#then migrant farm workers and farm workers in general would be paid bezos dollars because their work is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY#and its FUCKING BACKBREAKING ive seen those people work those fields its fucking BRUTAL#those people regularly get FUCKED by their employers they have to pay canadian taxes despite having no access to our social systems#and no votes either AND their wages are shite on top of all that. yet these people are ROUTINELY considered less useful#to society than shit like elon musk. every migrant worker ive ever seen has worked THOUSANDS of times harder than musk#probably even knows how to and yet THEYRE the ones we consider a burden to society?? the ones that dont have million dollar meltdowns#on twitter?? really??#besides that how are YOU more useful to societs than the jobless?? tell me what meaningful addition YOUR job adds to society#because ZERO jobs ive had did anything useful#i worked at a tim hortons- not useful a radio station cleaning- somewhat useful but small time#then lush- not useful. then cineplex- kind of useful for displaying others art and entertainment brings joy#the sex shop was the Most useful because i basically became Impromptu Sex Ed Teacher and thats actually very useful#very small time in how i did it but still THATS the most useful job ive had bc now i work retail that doesnt contribute shit#yes people can get clothes there and thats obviously useful stuff but like come on do i REALLY contribute to society#in any meaningful way to be considered more useful than the jobless?? do i REALLY?? bc i dont think so#and thats not low self confidence thats me valuing the lives of people without jobs who probably still do a lot of shit#my mom doesnt have a job but shes CONSTANTLY running around helping my sisters and step dad with their shit#like she runs my step dads summer roofing business but because theres no wage theres no job despite her doing work#and her doing that is way more use to society than probably near EVERY person who has claimed the jobless are useless#she organizes all the shit for a guy to put a roof over peoples heads what do YOU do thats more meaningful than that??#jobless isnt useless and having a job doesnt mean you arent lazy as shit at it either so even if your job IS useful#doesnt mean YOU are just because you get paid to be incompetent. cops.
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I got this comment on a story from my Other AO3 Account this morning.
(Info redacted because I prefer keeping these accounts separate but no one follows me on the side blog I have for that account.)
The story was posted almost a year ago and is relatively “popular” by my average statistics even though it has tropes and themes that are big turnoffs for a lot of people (hence separate accounts). This popularity is undoubtedly because it’s a Marvel Loki story and that fandom is massive.
So there is obviously an algorithm or a bot scrubbing ao3 statistics and leaving this comment on fics that meet a certain metric with the main character of the fic inserted into the comment.
I had a little time to kill this morning so I decided to investigate further. And y’all this is so predatory. Come on this journey with me. It made me mad. It may make you mad.
First, if you go to Webnovel’s website, you HAVE to choose between male lead or female lead stories before you can go any further. WTF?
And that’s weird, but this gets so much worse. This is basically a pay-to-read site that has different subscription models. Which… okay BUT! The authors don’t get paid! Look at that comment again. They’re promising a supportive and nurturing community, but zero monetary compensation. It’s basically, “post your stuff here so we can get paid and you can get… nice vibes?” I mean look at this Orwellian writing:
Using the phrase “pay-to-read model” in the same sentence as “qualitative changes in lifestyles for authors” deliberately makes you think that you can get paid and maybe even make a living on this website. But that’s not actually what it says and authors will not receive one red cent.
Oh but wait, the worst is still to come. In case this breaks containment (which I kind of hope it does) this is where I mention that I’m a lawyer in the US.
I don’t do intellectual property or copyright law but I do read and write contracts for a living. So I went to look at their terms of service. It was fun!
Highlights the first, in which Webnovel gets a license to do basically whatever they want with content you post on their site. This is how they get to be paid for people reading authors’ writing without paying them anything.
Highlights the second, in which Webnovel takes no responsibility for illegally profiting off of fan fic. This all says that the writer is 100% responsible for everything the writer posts (even though only Webnovel is making money from it).
Highlights the third which say that by posting, the author is representing that they have the legal right to use and to let Webnovel use the content according to these terms. So if a writer posts fan fiction and Webnovel makes money from people reading the fan fiction, and the House of the Mouse catches wise, these sections say that that’s ALL on the writer.
So that’s a little skeevy to start off with but the thing that is seriously shitty and made me make this post was that these assholes are coming to ao3. They are actively recruiting people in comments on their fan fiction. And they are saying they are big fans of the character you’re writing about and that they share your interests.
They are recruiting fan fiction writers and giving every impression that you can make money from posting fan fiction on their site and hiding the fact that you absolutely cannot but they can make money off of you while you try, deep in their terms of service which no one but a lawyer who writes fan fic and has some time to kill will read.
I see posts on here regularly from people who don’t understand how this stuff works, don’t understand that they (and others) can not legally make a financial profit from fan fiction. And there are tons of people who will not take the time to dig into the details.
Don’t deal with these bastards. Fuck Webnovel.
#went down a rabbit hole#got mad#webnovel#this is a scam#how to ao3#fan fiction#please spread the word#long post
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#personal but not a rant really#putting this in the tags because I’m worried it’s gonna seem snarky/obnoxious#but like. I really do not get what people mean when they say not to rush into wedding planning#and just enjoy being engaged#I love my fiancée dearly#obviously#but like we’ve been together 5.5 year#and known we were gonna get married for the last two ish years so functionally not much has changed#and I’m not a person who enjoys a ton of attention but I do enjoy planning a party#so like the enjoyable part for me IS the wedding planning#it’s gonna be small and only kind of traditional#like I get being stressed about paying for it. that part is stressful.#but picking flowers and colors and a dress si so fun to me#idk man I feel like a weirdo dickhead every time people tell me to just enjoy myself#and like. I am. this 20 page google doc of local vendors is enjoyable
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this might just be because i'm a bit older than your average mcyt fan, but it makes me kind of sad to see all these younger fans scramble to wipe their mcyt fanworks off the internet the second a content creator is revealed to have done something awful.
don't get it twisted, I'm a big believer in rescinding financial support to ccs you no longer agree with or admire by unsubscribing, deciding not to buy merch, or refusing to give them ad revenue by watching their content. if you don't feel comfortable giving someone money, don't give them your money. material support isn't what i'm talking about here - I'm talking about fanfic, fansongs, fanart. yknow, content that fans create for themselves and each other, stuff that's not for ccs.
in the past year (and especially the past week, obviously) i've seen tons of mcyt fans saying they're planning to delete their art (or that they already have deleted) because they don't want their work to be associated with content creators who behaved badly, and that they want "a fresh start." I've seen fan writers say the same thing about their fics. and like, this is fine, do what you want with your stuff, but i'll be honest...it does make me sad that so many younger fans seemingly have been made to feel such a high degree of responsibility for ccs that they're unable to enjoy fandom (a thing that is FOR US! FOR YOU!) or take any measure of pride in their past fanworks.
again, at the end of the day you should do what you want with your own shit. but what i will say is, if what you want to do with your work is delete it, at least think first about why you're considering the nuclear option. you aren't responsible for a cc's behavior, and that goes for literally anyone who's ever had a hand in making anything you like: books, movies, games, anything. you shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of having created fan content for a piece of media that a shitty person was involved in making. straight up, this kind of shame isn't something i believe should exist in fandom, because it's parasocial in the same way that positive emotions towards media/creators can be parasocial.
and also, as someone who's been involved in fandom for a long time, i can say with confidence that creators will keep disappointing you like this. there are shitty people out there. if you're searching for a piece of media with zero shitty people ever involved in the project, you will not find it. i'm not saying this to normalize shitty behavior on the part of creators, I'm saying this to emphasize that bearing the shame and guilt of every creator to this degree is not sustainable or healthy (and it's not how fandom used to operate, but that's a conversation for another day, perhaps.)
i understand why so many folks are considering deleting their fanworks, and if that's you...think about it before you do it. that's all i'm asking. you don't want to create a habit of divesting yourself of all evidence of having been passionate about art created by someone who sucks, because if you do get into that habit, then your chances of ever truly enjoying a fandom again are, unfortunately, pretty slim.
#mcyt#fandom#also deleting all your stuff is a nightmare for archivists but that's admittedly a selfish reason for asking ppl not to delete lmfao#....sigh#idk it just makes me sad to see so many kids panicking like this#long post
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"DO BETTER!" Says Now Televised Fanboy
He, Dash Baxter is a Phan-Stan!! It's kinda his thing. See, he's a fancy ass talk show host now. Married Paulie, moved out of Amity, actually DID something with his life. His parents? Did not approve. Long n short of it? He got kicked out.
Paulie's parents were PISSED.
Retaliated by giving him all the help he needed getting EVERY scholarship he qualified for. He went to a really nice college. Missed his girlfriend like mad. But she was off in Metropolis, terrifying weaker men. Conquering the fashion scene.
And SOMEHOW? Thanks to that long talk he had with Phantom (*incoherent fanboy gibbering noises* SO COOL!) he's worked to be... more of a LEADER, you know? Less of an asshole. Cause he's popular. People copy him. He can't be an asshole.
So, somehow, when he's punching out some try-hard that thinks he's hot shit for bullying a Nerd? He and the nerd get talking, right? Cause the guy got his glasses completely fucked up. And it's what Phantom would do.
But GET THIS? Guy's never HEARD of Phantom! Is super curious, cause he runs a small time Hero's show on the web. And, Dude? Is it your LUCKY DAY! Cause you just met THE number 1 fan of Phantom, hands down!! He makes his VERY spirited case, about why Phantom is THE best Hero to ever have lived. And this guy?
Entranced.
In AWE.
Just straight up BEGS him to join his show. Cause apparently? He was BORN for it. Which? Yeah. He HAS been giving speechs to the team for YEARS now. And Talking at fan meet ups. Leading fan meet ups. Hosting parties... actually, now that he thinks about it? He DOES do a lot of public speaking? Huh.
But still, he's about to say "no", when?
Dude mentions? He'll get to talk about Phantom.
SOLD!
It. Blows. Up. Absolutely EVERYONE is in love with his pretty face, hot bod, and STRONG opinions. But they ALSO have no idea who Phantom is! Paulie! This is CRIMINAL! Horrifying! What is going ON!?
Some bullshit information black out, apparently. At least according to her... friendly Nemesis? The Goth Dweeb. Who's engaged, apparently? So good for her. Unsurprisingly, it's too the OTHER Dweebs, but still. Bout time she started planning to drag them to a court house. She's the only one with any spine in that group! If she waited for THEM to propose?
Not even as Ghosts, man.
They'd get distracted by shiny nerd shit and whimp out.
Still... a world where NO ONE knows how Awesome, Phantom is? Not on HIS watch!
So he works it in. To every segment. It becomes "his thing". Oh? Super man saved a kitten from a tree? Cute. Well PHANTOM saved a bus full of Ghost Puppies from a shady, rouge, Goverment agency. Do BETTER, Superman!
The Flash, who is a cheap knock-off and stole his name, took down an Ice Villian? Adorable! PHANTOM stopped a Rouge WINTER SPIRIT with the help of YETI WARRIORS then assisted in giving FREE medical care for anyone who needed it! Here's a picture of him making GHOST ICE SNOWMEN for small children! Do BETTER, Knock-off!
What's THAT you say? Wonder Woman fought a GOD in down town paris?
Excellent work Wonder Woman. Flawless as always. But YOU, god-boy, are a disappointment! All that power! And WHAT do you use it for? Are you even supposed to BE here?? PHANTOM uses his power to HELP people! Is awesome and knows TONS of better gods! You're just salty you didn't make the cut!
DO BETTER!
And obviously? No one believes him. There's no record of this "Phantom" guy. The pictures look fantastical and vaguely glitchy/glowy. Not quite right. They GOTTA be photo shopped. Manipulated somehow. But? As a shtick? A fake "perfect Superhero" is kinda funny and unique.
And it's one hell of Fake Hero!
A Dead Champion? Who fights gods and monsters? Rouge agencies? Sassy and tragic? With a mysterious past? Pretty cool! There's even an Offical Comic from some guy that went to the same high-school as Baxter!
Of course, as Baxter get more and more popular? The "meme" hero, Phantom, get more well known? People get more interested in where Dash grew up. You know, just a bored Google. Maybe see if the hero was based off a local legend or something. But... huh...
The Town website?
Weirdly? Sanitized.
Like... like aggressively sanitized. All smooth edges and no details. Very "move along, citizen". Ha ha... it's part of the joke right? They get it! They'll just look up local restaurants or som-....
Wait...
Hey, guuuuys?
Are you finding ANYTHING?
And! Nothing. And I do mean NOTHING! Triggers the "oh? Secrets???" Instincts of a Hacker, like finding a hard blank wall of "KEEP OUT". Especially when it's somewhere it rightfully shouldn't BE.
All it would take? Is ONE person, of decent skills and an account on Certain Forums, getting bored enough to Google the Dude On The TV(TM)? For the GIW's lil walls to come crashing down. Because yeah, you can stop ONE hacker. Even two. Probably five or six.
But how about thousands?
Hundreds of thousands?
From every time zone. Competing. Just to see what you HAVE and don't want them to see. Maybe they do something with it, maybe they don't. But fuck it, you're being RUDE and now they're CURIOUS. And THEN? Oh. Oh holy shit.
Not a meme.
Very real.
Not a joke.
The walls come crumbling down, down, down. Ripped apart by hundreds of hands. Emails sent to every sort of agency. The JLU line inundated with emergency tips. Not a joke. Not A Joke. Holy Shit, IT WASN'T A JOKE!
Phantom is REAL!
And there, on TV, stands the Man. The signal FINALLY breaching containment. Fighting off the invading God of the week. Built like statue, hair like an aurora borealis of white fire held almost delicately in place by a CROWN of ice, a suit made of void and starlight. Inhuman. Beyond human.
Here to help.
A laugh that crackles like ice and the snap of winter, rolls through the air like coming storms, rich and somehow warm. A smile that bares teeth, yet turns so KIND when he looks upon humanity, as though we are precious and worth fighting for. A living star.
A... a once living star.
And in the center of it all? Wearing his BESPOKE, custome made, Number 1 Phan full body outfit? That's right. Dash Baxter. Ha! You fuckers doubted him! Behold his blorbo and WEEP, ya fuckin casuals! The BESTEST of boys! The FINEST of Heros! Superman? Could NEVER.
And now? The weather!
@babbling-babull @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @hypewinter @hdgnj @mutable-manifestation
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Reading I Crawl Through It by A. S. King THIS WEEK OUT OF ALL THE WEEKS like...
Omg standardized testing? That's my next two weeks fr! (The past 2 weeks have been prep)
Random drills and alarms? We had one of those earlier today!
Bomb Threats? That reminds me of the shooting threat we had last week!
Naked guy hiding in a bush selling craft projects to teenagers? Okay actually I've got nothing there
Anyways haha I very much would love an invisible helicopter right now... 🤞(even if it would only be visible on Tuesdays)
#blah#just of all the weeks of my life i could have picked up this crackhead insane stack of bound papers.... it was this one. absolutely wild#also i googled shooting threats in my area to make sure i wasnt doxxing myself and there was a ton of results for just the past few weeks#including a school ive been to nearby lol so anyways LOVE that for us wow#this book is SO wild actually but if im being honest i kind of get it. almost vomited mid conversation this morning bc i was so stressed :)#also my test ''strategy'' is like not to worry abt it and ill do fine HOWEVER. if other people panic then i start to panic and then i fail.#anyways someone beam the entirety of calculus into my brain in the next week because i remember nothing apparently (despite getting As on#every test. love how that happens) and also the rules for both my government exams bc i don't even KNOW HOW MANY FRQS WE HAVE#and also spanish. please god im begging i have to do good on spanish. ill fucking shatter if i fail or barely pass that one god please#haha anyways we're not stressing about it! because this week is ''stress less week'' so obviously that means no one is stressing right????#right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?#hgggggg anyways i FINALLY FINALLY got a slot to pet the animals this year. (normally the SGA kids take them all) so yeah i may have *counts#on fingers* 15 hours of exams and 16 hrs of exam prep in the next two weeks but i get to pet baby goats for 5 mins (like actually 5 mins)#during my lunch tomorrow so whos the REAL winner here#okay i may be going more crazy than i thought haha anyways we're having a GREAT time and likely won't study today bc studying makes me#stressed and procrastinating delays the stress and if im going to be stressed anyways then.....#god i feel so bad for my friends with anxiety right now. im feeling it bad and my chemicals are generally where theyre supposed to be#anyways time to read my book more haha best of luck to my fellow test prep friends on here
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Danny no longer has a haunt. So… he decides to find another one. And while he technically has a whole world (other dimensions aren’t an option because he’s going to stay near where Jazz’s grave is, damn it) there’s only a couple of other places with enough ambient ectoplasm to sustain him. Nanda Parbat, Tokyo, and Gotham.
Nanda Parbat had a weird old musty immortal that kept trying to summon him and exchange power for the ability to “take a worthy body and rain as much destruction” as he’d like. As if Danny would need a body to bring the world to its knees.
Tokyo… it’s too far from Jazz’s grave. He could ask Wulf or even open his own portal but when Danny tried it out, Tokyo was too peaceful. Obviously there’s crime, but nothing… nothing big like Danny’s used to.
Danny ends up picking Gotham, even if the sewer zombies and the weird group of rich fruit loops with an adoption problem creeps him out. So, he destroys the portal, packs up his parents’ house and sells it, and hauls ass to the cesspool calling his name. His family’s stuff is stored respectfully in a vault located on the deepest parts of his personal haunt in the Infinite Realms.
And honestly, he’s doing better. Sure, he’s got a shitty apartment near another revenant’s almost-haunt and he feels like he’s drowning all of the time, but Danny isn’t in danger of turning into Dan, he’s catching up on royal paperwork, and he’s got like a job as a barista. In his own coffee shop that paid for using his parent’s money (who, despite their hazardous everything, made a crap ton of money off of their more normal inventions).
Gotham’s got some pretty interesting local gangs, most of which respected the sanctity of Danny’s cafe. Sure, they tried blowing it up and tried extorting money from him in the form of “protection costs” but after three months of failure, they gave up.
(Really, the local gangs gave up when they saw him take three shotgun shells to the chest and continued to work.) (They didn’t know it never hit him. Intangibility is extremely useful.)
The Rogues, on the other hand, just gave Danny flashbacks. Their gimmicks are different, sure, but after years of Box Ghost, Skuller, Lunch Lady, etc., Danny’s more than done with costumed villains. They don’t bother him either. Some of the reason is probably due to Harley and Ivy, who had walked into the cafe and (because they were bruised and scratched up from a fight) triggered Danny’s mother hen tendencies. They were promptly fed and watered and caffeinated and their hyenas were also similarly taken care of. They declared the cafe under their protection and that was that.
Red Hood stops by, and begins to interrogate him. But when Danny met his… helmet eyes? The crime lord paused, paid for his coffee, and sat in a corner table of the cafe for the rest of the day.
And he kept coming back?
But Danny figures it’s because Hood was a revenant and people who had come close to death tends to feel more comfortable around him.
(Considering this is Gotham where people almost die every other day? Yeah, he’s pretty much friends with everyone. Or at least, less likely to get shot.)
(Hood does stay because of the King’s presence and the Pit calming itself, but also Danny’s hot and he’s got a sleeper build and Hood definitely did not imagine himself in the place of the heavy box he saw Danny lift effortlessly onto a table. No.)
But of course, the peace couldn’t last forever. But by then, Danny was so antsy, he welcomed the trouble with open arms.
It starts with a clown. Danny knows who he is. He knows who Danny is.
So, Danny has no idea why the clown thought it would be a good idea to aggravate the owner of Gotham’s official neutral grounds. See, Clovkwork? Danny’s learned how to gauge his own political importance!
“HAHAHAHAHA! COME OUT, DANNY-BOY! LET ME TELL YOU A JOKE!”
Danny comes out and grabs a chair, and with a flat expression, says, “you’re not funny and I hate clowns.”
And then he swings and slams the chair into the Joker’s face. Over and over again until Danny’s sure the clown won’t get back up. The thing about Gotham’s outdoor chairs is that they’re mad out of steel and are bolted down to the ground to prevent undedicated thieves (dedicated thieves can and will steal the bolted down steel chairs). The Joker’s hired muscle just watched this scrawny twenty-something year old yank the steel chair and take some of the fucking ground and the bolts with it and beat the fuck out of their boss who is the literal Joker.
They surrender on the spot and is taken to jail. Danny just smiles at the officers who come by and since he’s got pretty privilege and they don’t want to mess with the guy who, again, owns one of Gotham’s official neutral ground and also beat up Joker without breaking a sweat, the officers just lets him go with a warning.
And then the bats comes, and wow, Danny’s playing mentor to a formally dead person again!
But before that, the Red Hood asks for an autograph on the Gotham Gazette article with a picture of a tired Danny standing over Joker’s prone body. Then Hood stammers through asking Danny out (which Danny said yes to because he’s tired, not blind, and Hood is built like a brick house and HOT).
Batman interrogates him. Danny, who can tell that this man needs therapy and is Sad TM, tells Bats that Danny’s died before and that’s why he’s like this. He also calls Batman a furry, but like in a nice way. And then he kicks Batman out with a coffee and a file on Nanda Parbat.
Now, Danny’s got a date to prepare for and he realizes that maybe this is what Jazz wanted for him- to be happy and mostly safe and happy. (Or, happier, he thinks. It’s been a long time since he’s been truly happy, but this might be a good start)
#bamf danny phantom#danny phantom#dc x dp#jason todd#Jason takes him to a library and they pick out books for each other#Danny asks him on a second date and they talk about the book over coffee#and then they watch the stars (Danny uses his ghost powers to clear a patch of sky)#but Danny just kind of watches Jason’s face and goes yeah this is just as good#Danny dngasf#Danny will throw hands with a clown#Danny thinks the Gotham Rogues are kinda cute#with their gimmicks#unimpressed bc they’re kind of obvious#and he’s seen worse and better#danny is Gotham’s Mom Friend
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Highlights from Catherine Tate's Q&A Panel at Armageddon Expo 2024 (NZ) :
[I took notes best I could during the panel but some may be paraphrased]
Q: What's your favourite Doctor Who alien?
CT: The wonderful Ood!
Q: Who's your favourite Doctor? (Crowd gasps in anticipation)
CT: Well, I get asked this a lot, and obviously it's David (Tennant). I don't know what number he is, he keeps coming back. But definitely, David. Although, someone recently pointed out that I was technically the first ever female Doctor. So you know what? Me, I'm my favourite Doctor.
Q: What's your favourite episode you were in of Doctor Who?
CT:The Runaway Bride, because that's where it all began.
Q: What's a favourite memory of working with David Tennant on Doctor Who?
CT: The scene in 'Partners in Crime', the one with the Adipose, there's the scene where Donna and the Doctor see each other from across a room. But they're both behind glass and they have the whole mime scene with the windows. Well, I remember it was about 3am when we were filming that - - Russel really likes to film at night if the story is taking place at night - so it was 3am, and I said to the director 'Uh, right here it just says Donna Mimes' and he said 'Yeah do whatever'.
So that whole scene was ad-lib during shooting and David and I were so in sync with it, we did that first take and the director said cut and print!
Q: How emotional were you filming your final scene in Journey's End?
CT: So, we didn't always film in order. And I'm not really a sentimental person, but I will say I thought Donna's ending was absolutely perfect. When she meets the Doctor she was always yelling at the world, and she was so different than what she was by the end, she had so much growth with the Doctor and she changed so much in her time with him, but then, she forgets the him and all those memories. And that final scene, what really got me was how he says 'Donna, I'm off' and she's just, I think she's on the phone, and she just waves dismissively. She doesn't know him anymore. Russell, the way he ties things together, he's brilliant, that man.
Q: What was it like working with Bernard (Cribbins)?
CT: Oh, Bernard. God, I love him. He was so funny and talented. He always had stories and voices and sound effects. He loved making people laugh. But we had a gag where every single time I called him I'd say (Donna Voice) 'GRANDAD!'
He'd say, "Who is this?"
"It's Catherine."
"Catherine who?"
"Catherine Tate"
"Never heard of her."
We did this every time I called him and I loved it.
Q: Is there anything annoying about working with David Tennant?
CT: No, absolutely not. He's perfect. He's the best person to work with. I will say though, I was annoying him a lot. When we did the 60th Anniversary specials, our trailers looked exactly the same and I never knew where my trailer was. I'd walk into his all the time!
Sometimes I'd walk in and see his shoes in the trailer and instead of thinking 'Oops, wrong trailer', my brain went 'What's he gone and left his shoes in my trailer for?'
It got so bad, sometimes I'd walk up the stairs and from inside I'd hear 'NO.'
Q: Was it weird coming back to play Donna after all these years? Especially when it was along side David Tennant?
CT: It was a bit weird, more in the 'Oh I hope i still know how to do this' way than anything. But I did think it would be hilarious if David and I arrived on set and every take we just did completely wrong voices. Just thought it'd be hilarious for him to go (in an airy upper-crust British accent) 'Ohhhh, hellloooo. I'm the Doctor'
Q: If you could take any prop from set, what would you take?
CT: Ohhhh, I'd have very large pockets and see what I could fit. But mostly I think it'd be a sonic screwdriver. It's gotta be a sonic screwdriver, doesn't it? It's small and mobile... Easy to steal. Plus, it'd fetch a great price on Ebay!
Q: Best show you've ever worked on?
CT: The Office, they paid me tons of money.
Q: My mum loves David Tennant, is there something you can say to dissuade her?
CT: Hm, something to convince her he's not.... Oh, he doesn't believe in astrology! I'll say 'It's Mercury Retrograde' and he'll say 'NO, NO, NO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT'.
Other Highlights:
As soon as she came out, she saw the stage had no steps to the audience, so she stayed on mic and went the long way round to go into the audience and interview people, trying to find who had traveled the furthest to be here. She was sorely disappointed everyone was just from Aotearoa 🤣
Donna Lines She Performed:
"Oi Spaceman! You're not mating with me sunshine!" (Crowd went wild for that)
"Binary. Binary. Binary." (🥺)
She did some of her characters: Lauren Cooper mostly, but also wished someone Happy birthday as Nan
#Catherine Tate#Donna Noble#Doctor who#Lauren Cooper#Catherine Tate show#About me 2k24#The great cate tate adventure#dw 60th#David Tennant#tenth doctor#fourteenth doctor
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It's probably been around a while and I just haven't encountered it before now, but the "yes everyone would have murdered a village down to the last child in that situation" take is a new one for me! Like would I have been justifiably upset in that situation? Yes. But what would I have done in that moment myself? Probably run. Granted I am not a person with a ton of unfathomable powers and a weapon I have spent a decade training to use that can cut through literally everything, but still. The argument that "well yeah EVERYONE would've done exactly what Anakin did" kinda falls apart when you think about it for two seconds because wow is that not what I would do when faced with being alone in the middle of an entire community of people who just captured and tortured my innocent mother for several weeks.
But it's also VERY hard to argue that this is even how everyone would react to this situation in Star Wars.
They literally have an entire arc where they explicitly have Obi-Wan's old nemesis who killed Obi-Wan's Master come to attack the home planet of someone he loves, captures her, and then murders her right in front of Obi-Wan with Obi-Wan helpless to save her. He then goads Obi-Wan into reacting in anger and Obi-Wan's reaction is to refuse to engage. He very explicitly refuses to even attack Maul because he knows he'd be reacting in anger and he's literally seen exactly where that leads before and overcome it. So when Obi-Wan IS put in an extremely similar situation, he chooses not to just go out and attack everybody as a result. He doesn't give in to his anger and fly to Dathomir to go kill every single Nightbrother on the planet as a form of justice for Satine, which is what this person is arguing is how literally anybody would react when placed in that situation.
Reva Sevander has every reason to despise Anakin, more reason than Anakin had to despise the Tuskens. And yet when she goes after Luke to try to kill him after she fails to kill Anakin, that becomes a line she can't cross. More accurately, it's a line Reva CHOOSES not to cross. So when put in that situation with all the same anger and grief as Anakin had with the opportunity to get her vengeance by killing an innocent child, Reva makes the active choice not to do what Anakin did. So while the impulse obviously was still there with Reva, she was fully capable of choosing not to go through with it. And Reva's been soaking in Darkness since she was about 8-10 years old, getting tortured and broken as an Inquisitor, surrounded by the corpses of her people, with zero support of any kind that she can turn to for comfort or guidance. Anakin had spent the last 10 years in a warm loving environment with people who cared for him and still had most of those people available to him to support him in this time of grief. And yet when faced with the same choice, Reva chose to pull back and let Luke live, but Anakin just kept going and massacred an entire village. It's a CHOICE, not an uncontrollable urge.
You know the only other person I can think up off the top of my head who DOES canonically have a similar reaction to Anakin's?
Aleksander Kallus.
Kallus explicitly states that he leads a genocide against the Lasat as vengeance for ONE Lasat killing a unit of Imperial soldiers in self defense. An entire species is nearly wiped out of existence because Kallus decided to let his anger control him.
But there are NUMEROUS other characters in Star Wars who we see lose people they love and proceed to not go on a murder spree against innocent people and children as a result. And the ones that do are pretty explicitly villains whose actions when in those situations are used to showcase just how villainous they are. Which indicates that it's NOT a normal reaction because otherwise it wouldn't really mean anything as a villain identifier. If it's something just about anyone would've done, it's probably not that villainous. The point of it NEEDS to be that most people WOULDN'T do that, even in justified anger.
#star wars#tuskens#reva sevander#obi-wan kenobi#anti anakin#anti anakin skywalker#anakin critical#anakin skywalker critical#kallus critical#aleksander kallus critical#anti kallus#anti aleksander kallus
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no one should be alone on christmas
barca femeni x reader
changed from the request slightly because i've read a couple fics where r tries to hide that she's gonna be alone for the holidays, and thought i'd take a slightly different approach, so as not to copy anyone :) but pinky promise there is tons of angst and fluff!
cw; mention of bad relationship with parents... implied homophobia i guess? not really discussed much though. angst, fluff, :)
The look on your teammates face when you told them you didn't have any plans for the holiday were almost comical; every one of them looked completely horrified. Sure, they knew your relationship with your parents was rocky, but they hadn't realized you didn't speak, didn't see them at all. What was almost worse was that you didn't even seem to understand why they were so appalled by you spending Christmas alone.
You knew, as soon as you left the locker room after your declaration and the room erupted into loud conversations, that your teammates would begin scheming.
Your problem was that you didn't really want to celebrate Christmas. Obviously, it was a big deal back home in England, and you'd grown up celebrating it, but those weren't the happiest of memories. For the first years of your life, Christmas had been fun. As you aged, and your parents started fighting, it didn't stay fun. Your parents had gone off the rails when you were a teenager; they were incredibly religious people, and when they felt you slipping away from this, they tightened their grasp, until it was suffocating.
Maybe the holidays wouldn't be so awful if they weren't such a stark reminder of what you no longer had, of the rift between you and your parents. Christmas 2 years ago had been the worst of your life. You'd fought with your parents all day, until a screaming match left you packing your bags. They'd had too much to drink, said things about you it was clear they were always thinking, but never vocalized. When you confirmed their suspicions in a fit of anger, they became more aggravated than you'd ever seen them.
You lived with friends for a while, once being at home became unbearable, until finally you got your first contract. You lived with teammates, then, and managed to avoid all conversations about the holidays. Since the Christmas fight, you'd sworn off the day, preferring to hibernate in your house, and actively try not to think about your parents. You missed who they were, and hated who they'd become, which made for a very confusing breakdown every year.
This was your first year at Barcelona, though, and your new team was not content to let you sit alone as you normally did. Especially not when you were only 19, and especially not when a lot of them had taken to acting like concerned mothers with you.
You didn't want to celebrate though, you couldn't. In the days following your locker room chat, you noticed your teammates being slightly odd around you; they weren't very subtle, and they were clearly planning something. Whether it was a Christmas kidnapping or a team party, you weren't sure. All you knew was that you wanted no part of it.
Telling the entire team this, though, didn't seem like something you wanted to do. So instead, you went to the only people you knew had the power to stop whatever horrifying red and green themed atrocity was being planned.
You weren't used to this, really, needing to talk to your captains about anything serious. You'd decided to pull Alexia aside after practice, and tried to be as normal as possible so as not to worry anyone. It didn't seem to work.
"What's up, y/n?" Alexia asked, once you were alone in the hall.
"Could we talk once everyone's gone? I just... there's something I need to talk to you about." You internally winced at how poorly you'd phrased that. Alexia's previously relaxed face was now one of worry as she scrutinized you.
"Of course. Just me?" she asked, her voice uncharacteristically warm. She'd clearly picked up on the anxiety oozing off your body.
"Um... maybe Mapi too?" you asked. Again, your teammates weren't subtle individuals, Mapi least of all. It had become obvious that she was the instigator of whatever plan was in motion.
"Si, I'll tell her." Alexia stated, before giving you a reassuring smile and leading you into the locker room.
-----
Alexia had directed you to an empty office, shuffling in with Mapi behind you. You sat in one of the chairs facing the desk, as they both perched on the edge of the desk. You felt ridiculously like a kid in trouble at school, as your leg tapped nervously, and the girls both looked down at you. They weren't angry, though, and you weren't in trouble.
"I know you guys are planning to do something with me for Christmas," you blurted, not really sure where to start. Mapi got a sky grin on her face, but Alexia's expression remained unchanged, the unease on your face making her heart clench.
"No, what would give you that idea, pequeña?" Mapi questioned teasingly.
"Please don't. I don't like Christmas, I don't want to celebrate. I know you guys feel bad, but I really, really just prefer doing my own thing." You responded, going with the sentences you'd practiced in your head on the way to practice this morning.
Mapi's face had fallen, and you felt guilty despite knowing that you were just doing what you needed to do.
"Why don't you like Christmas?" Alexia asked, brow furrowed.
"I just don't," you replied, biting tone making Alexia and Mapi exchange looks. You weren't normally so serious, or so defensive. You were staring hard at the ground, as though you wished it would swallow you up.
Mapi extended her foot, poking it against yours softly until you rolled your eyes and looked up at her.
"Why don't you like Christmas?" They weren't letting you out of this one easily. You took a big breath, fixing your gaze back down at your feet, before you spoke.
"My parents were really difficult. Not always, but for a while. I left home on Christmas 2 years ago. I haven't seen them since. It's not a very fun day for me," you explained, working hard to keep your voice from shaking.
Alexia and Mapi were silent, and you chanced a look up at them. Both were deep in thought, frowns etched across their faces.
"It's really not a big deal. I just don't do Christmas, I don't want to do Christmas. So whatever you're plotting, please don't," you said, desperate for them to understand.
"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude," you started, suddenly alarmed that you'd seem ungrateful, but you were interrupted.
"No, don't apologize. Never apologize for telling us when you don't like something we're doing," Alexia said firmly, seeming to know what to say for the first time in minutes. "If you don't want to do Christmas, we don't make you." Mapi nodded her head rapidly in agreement.
"You were supposed to spend Christmas Eve with Marta and Caro, Christmas with me, and then go to Mapi's for a couple days, but we don't have to do any of that," Alexia continued, and you felt a wave of an unknown emotion wash over you.
You'd expected they'd been planning something, but not that they'd had you delegated somewhere every day of the break. It wasn't an overall bad feeling, just one you weren't used to.
"Thank you," you stated quietly, not really sure what else to say.
"The offers stand, though, pequeña. If you change your mind," Mapi insisted. "Also, ... it's possible that I rigged the secret santa and multiple people have you, and there isn't really anything I can do about that. So you'll get your gifts but you can be alone," she continued, biting her lip. She looked worried, as if you would be mad. Alexia looked slightly annoyed that Mapi had rigged the gift exchange, but much too preoccupied with you to yell at her then.
"Mapi," you groaned, allowing a small smile to form on your face, assuring her that you weren't mad. The gifts, you didn't mind. You could pretend they weren't Christmas related, and they'd be a good distraction.
Mapi launched into an animated story of how she managed to rig the exchange, [she'd just ended up giving more people presents to make up for all the people getting you things,]. The tricky part was, apparently, doing it behind Ingrid's back; this, you didn't doubt.
They walked you to your car, sensing that you didn't really want to talk any more about it, but leaving you with unusually tight hugs. You appreciated them a lot, even if they were too overbearing sometimes.
-----
When Mapi told you she'd messed with the Secret Santa, you assumed she meant that 2 people had you. Maybe 3. You were wrong.
First up at your apartment the first day of break, before everyone departed for their respective homes, was Ona. She'd managed to get you your favorite sweets from England, an entire box full. She stayed and chatted with you for a while, insisting that she didn't have anywhere to be until later. She was quite successful at getting your mind off things, and had you laughing with her after a bit. When she left, you made sure to tell her to thank Lucy for helping her with the gift, and she stammered out an agreement, a deep blush coating her cheeks.
Aitana showed up next, her gift amusedly from both her and Keira, as the ginger had helped her pick it out. It was a new washbag, not unlike Alexia's. They must have noticed you eyeing it appreciatively. Aitana also brought a mass amount of Christmas cookies, making you eat three before she left.
Patri and Claudia showed up next, pushing past you into your apartment as soon as you opened the door. They'd gotten you approximately 8 new games for your switch, and insisted on trying all of them with you. It left you wondering who the gift was really for, considering they often came over to play on the switch with you. Regardless, they stayed late into the evening, despite both having to get up early to head home the next morning.
Mapi and Ingrid arrived, bringing chaos with them. More Mapi than Ingrid. The Norwegian had gotten you a set of light blue ceramic mugs that matched your kitchen perfectly. You'd barely had time to admire them before Mapi was taking them out of your hands, and dragging you over to her absurdly large present. It was perfectly wrapped, like Ingrid's had been, and her cheeky smile told you that she wasn't as innocent as she'd like you to believe. You opened the box, finding it weirdly light. The inside was completely empty, and you looked at the girls in confusion. The doorbell rang then, and your confusion only grew, as Mapi had said she'd be the last to stop by.
You opened the door to reveal Alexia, holding a squirming puppy in her arms, with a bow haphazardly placed on it's head. Your jaw dropped. You'd mentioned wanting a dog a few times, but you'd wanted to wait until you settled in more.
"Is that... mine?" you asked, and all 3 girls laughed at your astonishment.
"Si!!" Mapi shouted, so overcome with excitement that she was practically bouncing up and down next to you. Alexia handed you the dog, and you noted that she was smiling wider than you'd ever seen her. Alexia and dogs.
He was a little thing, a mini long haired dachshund, light brown in color. His tail was wagging furiously, and he snuggled up to you right away, licking your face eagerly. You were completely speechless, almost moved to tears.
"Thank you," you said looking around at your teammates. You really didn't know what else to say; they'd gone so above and beyond, so out of their way to make these days slightly easier for you, to make sure you weren't alone, even if you wouldn't let them be there with you.
You handed the dog to Ingrid, before all but tackling Mapi in a hug.
"Te gusta?" she asked triumphantly, already knowing the answer. You nodded into her embrace, taking a second to pull yourself together, before hugging Alexia and Ingrid in turn. You hoped the hugs would convey what words could not.
They stayed for a bit, helping you get the dog settled, and watching him when you ran to the store to get puppy supplies. When they left, you could tell they seemed slightly sad; everything they'd done, and they still didn't feel like it was enough.
As Alexia hugged you goodbye, she spoke softly into the top of your head. "I'm around, y/n, if you're having a rough time, or you need someone to talk to. Call me, text me. Anytime. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, I don't care."
You nodded in response, entirely sure that you wouldn't take her up on that; she'd done enough already.
-----
The days leading up were fine, fun even, especially with a puppy to take care of. You didn't think the day would hit you as hard this year, which maybe was naive. It hid you harder than it ever had. For the first time in a while, you were experiencing love and care in the way you used to from your parents. It made you miss the old versions of them. This, in turn, had you furious at them for becoming the people they'd become, so vile, so cruel. It was like there were two versions of them in your head; the smiling, blurry figures from your childhood. The angry, mean, much more vivid memories from your teenage years.
You wished that they hadn't hate a part of to the point that they might as well have just hated you as a whole. You were poisoned to them, for something you couldn't control.
You were in the midst of what was becoming your annual breakdown, this time trying to keep your sobs quiet as your puppy was passed out on the couch next to you, when your phone rang. It was Mapi calling. You picked up before you could stop yourself, desperate to hear a kind voice.
"Hola pequeña! Just wanted to check in," Mapi sang over the phone.
"Hola Mapi," you responded softly, not really sure how to disguise how upset you were, now that you'd picked up.
"Are you okay y/n?" she asked, her voice much quieter.
"Yeah. Today just isn't very much fun."
"I'm sorry, pequeña. Is there anything I can do?" she asked, and this was what broke you. She'd done so much, yet she was still so desperate to make it better. It didn't make sense to you, why this person cared more about you and your happiness than your parents had.
You tried to keep your sobs muffled, not wanting to alarm Mapi, but she could tell what was going on. She didn't seem to know what to say or what to do, and you felt embarrassment flood your body at the fact that you were openly sobbing on the phone to your older teammate. You bit your lip, hard, forcing yourself to steady your breaths so you could speak.
"Fuck, I'm sorry Mapi. I'm fine, don't worry. Enjoy your Christmas.
"No, y/n, wait,"
You hung up. You fell apart again, burying your face in the soft couch cushions. Your phone buzzed under you again and again, no doubt Mapi calling you back. Time was a blur as you cried, and you really couldn't have said how much time passed before there was a frantic knock at your door. Your puppy barked, launching himself across the room towards the door.
You knew who it was before you even got up, cursing yourself for not answering one of Mapi's calls to assure her you were really fine. You should have known she'd call Alexia panicking.
Sure enough, when you opened your door, you got a quick glimpse of her face, outfit, hair, all telling you she had left some celebration to come to you, before she was smashing into you, pulling you into her arms. You were crying again, or maybe you'd never stopped, and Alexia pulled back to look down at your face, frantically checking to see if you were physically okay. Mapi's call must have been really panicked, then, if she hadn't explained well enough what had happened on your own phone call.
"What happened?" Alexia asked. You shrugged through your tears, which seemed to be enough to convince Alexia that you hadn't broken any bones. She led you back to your couch, tucking you into her side as she called Mapi back. She spoke quietly to her teammate, letting you feel what you needed to feel, and assuring Mapi that she had you, and that you'd be alright. It was reassuring to you, too, really.
Alexia's presence was unwavering, arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders, every so often wiping tears off your face. When you were done crying, finally, she handed you your water, instructing you to drink. You did, placing the water back down on the table, and scooping up your puppy back onto your lap.
"Sorry you had to come," You rasped eventually, running your fingers through the dogs fur, soothing him as well as yourself.
"Don't be. I'm glad Mapi called me. I'm glad she called you, you shouldn't have to be alone when you're upset."
"Your family-"
"-all understood that I needed to be here," she finished, gaze fixed steadily on you.
"Thank you for coming," you said, pausing. "I'm not really used to this. All these people caring."
"Well, you better get used to it, because we all care about you, a lot. And we're always going to make sure you're okay, even when you tell us you are. You're not always very believable when you say you're fine."
Her words hit hard, and you sat in silence for a bit, until your puppy got bored, and attempted to gnaw on Alexia's hand. You both laughed, watching as he got distracted again, this time by your foot sticking out of a blanket.
"Come on, get dressed. We'll take him to go meet my family. Get some of that energy out."
Alexia presented this as a statement, but her face held a question, and you knew she would stay here with you, if that's what you wanted. You were surprised to find that it wasn't. You took her outstretched hand, and she smiled triumphantly. You smiled too. When you'd moved here, you hadn't smiled much. You found yourself smiling a lot more now; because of your teammates mostly. They had changed your life, when you hadn't realized you'd needed it to be changed. It was really amazing, what a little love could do for someone who was hurting.
-----
that was so much longer than i intended!!!! got a tad carried away. also mapi didn't tear her meniscus in this because i said so.
#woso#woso imagine#woso x reader#barcelona femeni x reader#barca femeni#barcelona femeni#mapi leon#alexia putellas#ona batlle#aitana bonmati#patri guijarro#claudia pina
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Here's a fun random question: Is there such a thing as a secular Jew?
Like, we have secular Christians who do the bare minimum to call themselves a Christian and participate in Christian holidays. Are there Jews that do that? Like maybe they were born into the faith and participate in the culture but they aren't like. Super religious about it all and if they miss something, it's not a big deal for them?
oh absolutely. there are some jews who will eat a bacon cheeseburger then fast all day with their family on yom kippur then not speak another word of hebrew till passover. but i think for jews it’s less abt doing the bare minimum to still be considered a jew bc judaism is a tribe, and more abt spending important days with their family or connecting with their culture.
and like obligatory 2 jews 3000 opinions and i’m not the Ultimate Authority on judaism, but the thing that’s different imo abt judaism vs christianity (at least western christianity) is that christianity is a faith-based religion. generally, if you don’t align with christian theology, or at least say “yeah ok jesus sure”, you are by definition not a christian. for jews, there’s multiple different axes on which jews can interact with judaism, but the two that are probably the most helpful to gentiles in understanding the jewish people’s complex and varied relationships to judaism: religiosity and observance.
religiosity is about what you believe. do you think god exists? what is god? what are your beliefs about creation? how do you interact with jewish spirituality? and honestly, you could probably even break religiosity and spirituality into two different categories.
observance is about what you do. do you abstain from eating pork and shellfish? do you light candles every friday night? do you attend synagogue regularly? do you just go on yom kippur? do you wear a kippah or tichel?
to a lot of people who aren’t jewish or aren’t familiar with judaism, they might think that if someone is religious then they’re obviously observant, and if they aren’t religious then obviously they aren’t observant. but you will meet jews who keep fully kosher, light candles every single friday, observe even the most minor fasts, celebrate all the holidays, and think the notion of god is bullshit and saying the shema is just a way they connect with their ancestors. you’ll also meet jews who haven’t lit candles since they moved out of their parents’ house, eat bacon for breakfast, only go to synagogue on yom kippur, and believe that god created the universe and calls the jewish people to heal the world through good deeds and charity. you’ll meet jews who are deeply spiritual but don’t believe in god. you’ll meet jews who go to synagogue every saturday morning but don’t know a lick of hebrew. and that’s the coolest thing about judaism for me is that there are a shit ton of rules that you can study for years and years and you still don’t have to follow a single one to be jewish if you’re already part of the tribe.
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"If the entire human population was in front of me, I'd still choose you” with Jack.
I can only imagine what it would be like to have fans attack you if you were publicly dating him. I feel like Jack is so conscious of this. And he’s just soft boyfriend Jack trying to block out the unnecessary noise.
Maybe they just went public and she’s getting a lot of hate and it’s making her insecure. And Jack reminds her that it’s just them against the world and the only people whose opinions matter are their family and friends who love her.
Warnings: self depreciation, insecurities, self image issues, etc. Please don't read if you're not in a good headspace!!!
This is probably my favorite thing that I’ve written. I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!
plus size! reader x Jack Hughes
••
You knew that dating somebody in the limelight would have its challenges. Hell, dating an average person was hard. But nothing could have prepared you for the magnitude of hate that hit as soon as Jack went public with your relationship.
It wasn't like the relationship was new. The two of you had been dating for almost a year before he decided to post you on his Instagram. You let Jack set the pace since he was used to the attention. He could let things go in one ear and out the other a lot easier than you could. He was almost conditioned to be able to do that. You, on the other hand, took everything very personally. Every comment about your weight, about what you wore, about how Jack looked miserable with you, they all hit you like a ton of bricks.
You didn't understand why all of these people were coming at you saying so many horrible things, but Jack tried his best to ease your mind and remind you that at the end of the day it was you and him.
He did a really good job at this normally, but he was away on a roadie for a few days and things began to get really bad. This started when you saw a fan account for Jack post something about how Jack downgraded from Sienna to you and all of the comments agreeing.
It was like a rabbit hole...once you clicked on that post it led you to many others. They all made you feel like shit, but when people started commenting on your body, saying that they "didn't know Jack dated plus size girls," it hurt. Your body was yours. It wasn't like you could just zip it off and find a new one, but if you could you would, just to shut the comments up.
You spent the 3 days Jack was gone in a really dark depression. No laundry was done, you hadn't showered, and you barely could make yourself get out of bed to brush your teeth. Dishes piled in the sink, but you couldn't make yourself do them. You knew the signs of your depression, but you welcomed them in a way, almost like a coping mechanism. Not allowing people to see you was the only way the haters couldn't get new material. Was it a healthy way to cope? Obviously not, but it was what worked in the moment.
As soon as Jack walked through the front door, returning from the games, he could tell something wasn't right. You always kept up with the chores when he was away, normally making the house spotless before he got back. So when he saw the state of the kitchen and eventually the rest of the house, he knew something was off.
When he walked into the bedroom and saw that you were pretty much in the same spot he left you in he immediately dropped his bags and climbed into the bed with you, forcing you to look at him.
He gently shifted your body to face him, cupping your cheek gently with his hand.
"Baby, what happened," He made note of the streaks that stained your face, probably from countless hours of crying. He wanted to make them disappear immediately. You were his happy-go-lucky, carefree girl. You danced around the house all the time, singing whatever song was playing. This side of you was uncharted territory that he wanted to take away so bad.
"I just need you to hold me," You began to hyperventilate, worried that if he didn't hold you that he would leave you. Even though that would never in a million years cross his mind. But he did as you asked, and whether it was for 5 minutes or 30 minutes, he didn't know. He held you until you pulled away.
"Can we talk about it?" Jack asked, pulling the hair that crusted on your cheek from the tears out of your face. He treated you like you were fragile, and you hated that he felt that way.
"It's just the comments, Jack. I'm already insecure sometimes and these people come at me in so many horrible ways," You began to explain, loose tears streaming down your face, but you were composed otherwise.
"They compare me to Sienna, and God, I know I'm not as pretty as her. They tell me I'm fat and that they didn't know you dated "fat" girls. It's just insane. Do they not realize that I actually am a real person with real emotions? Do they know that I've believed, at some point in time, the things they are saying? I've worked so hard to get to this place where I'm at, to love who I am, and within the span of 3 days they just tear it all down," You let the words just flow from your mouth, whatever thought that comes to mind is voiced to Jack.
"Baby, they don't care. They don't care because they're jealous," He tries to soothe you, but it almost made you mad. Not at Jack, but at the whole situation.
"What the fuck are they jealous of? My thighs that I cover with leggings and pants so that I won't have to go through the pain of them chafing? Are they jealous of the fucking stretch marks that go up my stomach, so I refuse to wear regular bikini bottoms? I mean what the fuck, do they want my anxiety and depression? I will gladly give them that..." The tears were beginning to pick up, but Jack continued to rub your back, waiting to get the chance to speak again.
"I know you could have any girl you wanted. It makes me sick when I see some blonde walk past that looks like she stepped out of a magazine because I know that's what you deserve. You don't deserve this. You're Jack fucking Hughes," You looked at him, your lip quivering. You were going to say something else, but Jack put his finger on your lips, gently stopping you from continuing.
"You gotta stop that. I can't let you keep putting yourself down like this, not when I love you with my whole fucking heart," He began.
"First off, I had that. I had whatever you consider a girl walking out of a magazine is. Look how that turned out. It didn't, did it? You don't look like Sienna, and I'm so fucking glad because I don't want her kind of beautiful. I want your kind. I want to see all of the things on your body that show me that you lived. I don't want some manufactured cookie-cutter girlfriend. I want somebody that nobody else has," He pulled you in for a hug, continuing to talk while placing kisses ever so gently on your cheek and neck, looking out the window at the busyness that was the outside world. All he could think about was how you didn't see what he saw. Why couldn't you see it?
"Baby, I want you to realize something. If the entire human population was in front of me, I'd still choose you. Without a second thought, with no regrets. Every. Single. Time. You have such a special relationship with my brothers and that means the absolute world to me. They love you so much. My parents tell me I should marry you anytime that you come up in the conversation. The entire team has commented on how much happier I am with you. And if I'm being completely honest, at the end of the day I don't give a damn what anybody else has to say because it's me and you until the end. Do you understand me?" He broke the hug, cupping your face with both hands and wiping at the tears with his thumbs.
"I love you," You whisper, your voice long gone by now.
Jack pulls your forehead toward his lips, kissing it for a few seconds before letting your head go.
"I love you, too. More than you, or anybody else, will ever know. Now, I think we could go for some cleaning karaoke, yeah? I'll wash the dishes if you'll dry them," He poked at your side, trying, and succeeding, in forcing a grin on your face.
"Only if we can get a shower together afterwards," You bargained, taking in the beautiful boy.
"Deal," He says and drags you off to the kitchen, connecting his phone the the speaker and blaring Dierks Bentley's new song "Beer at My Funeral," occasionally twirling you in a circle.
The water may or may not have gotten everywhere since Jack decided it was a good idea to spray you with the hose that connected to the sink, but he enjoyed every second that he got chased by you around the island.
Once the dishes were put up and the shower washed away the remaining bit of your depression, Jack couldn't help but to just admire you. He promised himself then that he would remind you so often of how beautiful you were so that would be the only words ringing through your head, taking up any space that the hate may have. Because it was true. You were the most beautiful and precious thing that had ever walked into his life, and he'd be damned if anyone made you feel otherwise.
*
*
*
*
#nhl imagine#nhl fic#jack hughes#nhl fanfiction#quinn hughes#trevor zegras#alex turcotte#cole caufield#jack hughes imagines#nico hischier#jack hughes imagine#jack hughes x reader#jh86
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things i imagine 2023 bf bill does
cw: oral (f! and m!recieving), fingering, etc
• if you've been together since the 2000s, he's so so so happy that you never judged him for how he looked and that even though his style changed you still stuck with him. he knows that's the bare minimum but he's experienced first hand how some people treat him because of how he looks and he loves that you're not like that
• obviously, yall still go shopping together like in the 2000s and it's tons of fun. he loves it when you two try on studded jackets together and when you pick out cute platform boots for him
• you two once had the greatest birthday sex in the history of birthday sex because you got him the "greatest platforms in the world!!". His words.
• and I mean it ^^, it went on for like 2 hours and by the time you guys were done you were ready to pass out. but he also had some other gifts to open 🤩
• his aftercare was literally amazing in the 2000s, but it's gotten even better with time. if it was super intense sex, he will not let go of you. even if you were subbing, with intense sex both doms and subs need aftercare.
• MATCHING HALLOWEEN COSTUMES 🗣🗣🗣 also you better hype of bill for whatever costume he does. like that year he did Ariel. If you didn't hype him up 😒 what are you even doing?
• going out and buying costumes with him for concerts
• he said in a tiktok live once that he does out to restaurants for every meal. breakfast, lunch and dinner. so you two do that basically everyday and you guys always order too much food and end up having left overs
• ‼️BAKING WITH HIM‼️
• you guys know how he loves his cheesecakes so you two make him all the time. and he teaches you how to bake some of his family recipes. but it always ends up with you guys a total mess because you were fooling around.
• also the mf is still a massive tease 💀 like bruh back off for two goddamn seconds
• like while you're kneeding dough he'd come up behind you and press his crotch into your ass and act like he was just grabbing a measuring cup. and the mf would just be smirking his ass off if your face got red
• tiktok lives all the time and you two bake together on those two. and sometimes tom comes in and helps you guys.
• cockwarming on tiktok lives 😍😍😍 (someone has gotta write that because oh em geeeeee I'm squirming and squeezing my thighs just thinking about it)
• he bites in bed. like when he's fingering you he'll bite your boob or literally any squishy part of you. and will get horny the next day if he sees you have bite marks on your body.
• he loves going to the beach with you. and you guys go with Tom and Heidi all the time too.
• now im very pale you guys. i hate tanning, I never want to be tan. It's just not for me, so if you're like that too bill will literally lather you in sonnencreme and bring an umbrella for you to stay under
• now if you're not like me and you like to tan then bill will buy you tanning oil and that mirror thing (I hope yall know what I'm talking about bc idk what its called)
• he gives you head scratches all the time because he always has long nails and it feels so good
• ON THAT NOTE, bill rarely fingers you because of his nails, but on the days he doesn't have any acrylic nails, he'll finger you like no tomorrow. but other than that he sticks to eating you out
• bakes you a cake all by himself for your birthday 🎂 he makes sure to get whatever flavor you like the best. strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, red velvet, whatever you want he'll do it. he decorates it himself and is very proud
• talks about you all the time in interviews and is smiling his ass off every time
• doing skincare together is a must!! you two have so much skin care stuff it's insane. serums, face masks (peel off, paper, clay, etc), lotions, moisturizers, oils, lip masks. literally everything.
• HE LOVES DOING YOUR MAKEUP and he gets so happy when you let him do it
• date nights with him are so much fun because you get to get all dressed up in a sexy outfit and go out to a fancy restaurant. plus the night usually ends in sex
• he loves it when you play with his rings on his fingers
• living room dance parties and karaoke happens all the time and you always end up on the floor laughing your asses off
• he buys Polaroid cameras and takes pictures of you guys all the time. at the mall shopping, on the beach, making sandcastles, you eating, baking together, him dicking you down with his cum all over your chest (who said that⁉️)
• showering together and doing hair masks
• loves pre and post concert head from you 😉
• binge watching TV shows together is something you two do a bunch. he gets all pouty if he found out you watched an episode without him.
• you guys manicures and pedicures all the time and you're always giggling and laughing with eachother the entire time
taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7
#tokio hotel#bill kaulitz#tokio hotel x reader#tokio hotel smut#fluff#smut#bill kaulitz x reader#bill kaulitz smut#bill kaulitz 2023#2023 tokio hotel#tokio hotel edits#tokio hotel fanfics#tokio hotel fanfic#tokio hotel imagine#bill kaulitz being sexy as hell#bill being the little flirty cutie pie he is#bill kaulitz fanfic#bill kaulitz imagines#tokio hotel bill kaulitz#2023 bill kaulitz is so hot#modern bill kaulitz#kaulitz twins#fluff and smut#angst#x yn#x reader#bill kaulitz x yn#x bill kaulitz
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