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localcactushugger · 3 years

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Honestly the thing that really pisses me off, the thing that really hurts the most, about the Hawks vs. Twice conflict is the fact that they had so much potential.

I know on my blog I post mostly about Hawks and bnha leaks, but Twice was by far my favorite Villian and I loved seeing him every time he showed up. I love and understand both Hawks and Twice.

And Horikoshi fucking robbed us.

He robbed us of potentially the most hilarious and pure bromance in all of Bnha history.

All because of the fucking plot.

Think of the beautiful dynamic these two already had! They were only together for what? 2, maybe 3 months at most? And during that time they both learned to sympathize with each other. They even laughed at each other's jokes!!

They actually cared about each other even though their goals and morals didn't exactly aligne.

Both of them saw each other as "good/ kind hearted people" who were deserving of sympathy:

"You're a swell guy!" "Right back at ya."

"You're a good person."

"Anyone who wants to help their friends can't be all that bad." "I know you're good natured." "Let's fly free together!"

"I empathize with their cause." "I wanna fly free"

LOOK AT THEM JOKING AND LAUGHING TOGETHER!!!

LOOK AT THE FINGER GUNS!!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WE WERE ROBBED OF THIS:

I'm still so fucking salty about it. It's genuinely upsetting to me.

What's sad is that both of them genuinely cared and wanted to help each other. They just couldn't because their goals were so different.

Twice wanted to help his friends and "protect their happiness" more than anything, and that's why he was fine with helping them destroy/take over Japan. Because nothing matters more than the league's happiness. He'd burn down the world and "sell his soul" to make the Leauge happy! They were his friends. His family. They were his everything!

And Hawks' goal revolved around keeping the people of Japan safe. It revolved around making sure the Leauge didn't hurt anyone because "If you had just captured the Leauge when you had the chance . . ! Think of how many citizens might be alive today!" It revolved around making sure that "everyone would be able to laugh by the time the next cherry blossoms fall."

Both of them were kind hearted genuinely good people. The only difference is that they fought to protect different things.

But that doesn't mean they didn't care about each other or didn't reach out. Both of them reached out!

Twice reaching out: "I know we're being monitored right now, but I wish they'd stop spying on you! I get how you feel."

Hawks reaching out: "You've been unlucky, but you can make a fresh start once you pay for your crimes. I'll even help you start over! Because you're a good person."

Twice didn't know why a hero would sympathize with the liberation army. But a person who wanted to help his friends couldn't be that bad right?

Hawks knew how powerful Twice was and all the horrible things the Liberation army was planning for Japan. But Twice was good natured and kind right?

Both of them made efforts to understand each other. But neither of them could let go of their goals or the things they wanted to protect.

Twice remained loyal to the Leauge. To protect his friends happiness.

Hawks remained loyal to his mission. To protect the people of Japan.

Both characters were sympathetic towards each other, but at the same time they were both fiercely determined to do what they thought was right in the moment. It makes perfect sense story and character wise . . .

BUT THINK OF THE BROMANCE WE LOST!!

I'm still so upset about it!! I was so happy when Twice and Hawks started to warm up to each other, even though I knew it wouldn't turn out well.

Can you imagine these two doing finger guns? Laughing at each other's jokes?? Eating Yakitori together and making up secret handshakes???

They had such a pure, funny, bittersweet dynamic that pulled at my heart strings and made me laugh at the same time.

Honestly I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wanted to rant about the two of them for a bit because I love them both. And I just know if they weren't on the opposite sides of a war they would've been the bestest bros in the world.

Y'all can have whatever opinions you want about Hawks and Twice. But this is a post meant to appreciate their short-lived friendship and amazing dynamic. It's meant to appreciate and show love for both of their characters.

So please keep any bitter comments away from this post. I know everyone has different opinions about these two, but I've heard the debates a million times. Any disrespectful or mean notes will be deleted swiftly.

Just keep the vibes of this post nice okay? Why can we never have nice things in this fandom?

The whole Hero stan vs. Villain stan thing honestly ruins it for me, and I've quickly learned that It destroys all room for understanding and only creates division.

So whatever 12 yr old created the toxic Hero vs. Villain stan dynamic in this fandom, I hope you step on a Lego. Because I'm sure that dynamic has ruined a lot of characters for some people.

If you're someone who can't like a character just because they're a "villain" or a "hero", I'm genuinely sorry for you and I hope you know it's not your fault. This fandom likes to make the whole Hero vs. Villain thing a competition sometimes, and all the extremely biased metas don't always leave room for debate. Sometimes it can even make you feel like you have to pick a side. And it can make it hard for people to enjoy some character's as well.

People will try to demonize Twice.

People will try to demonize Hawks.

Obviously you can love whatever characters you want regardless of their roles in the story, but It's sad how that kind of division in a fandom leaves little room for understanding. And it's sad how quickly a fandom can ruin a character for some people as well. (I've had characters almost be ruined for me too. It sucks.)

Obviously, as a human being I also have my opinions, biases, and favorite characters. And having those isn't a bad thing! Just so long as you're respectful about it. And I'm saying this as someone who has, admittedly, partaken in the Hero vs. Villain stan dynamic once or twice myself. Even though I personally think that dynamic is dumb. I've also had moments where I've lost patience over "bad takes" I didn't like as well. I'm not perfect. No one is, and you can disagree with me all you like if you want. It's chill dude. 👌👌👌

But I would like to keep this post conflict free. In my opinion, Twice and Hawks are both genuinely good people. This is not something I will ever budge on. And i want to enjoy both of their beautiful characters just this once. I love and understand them both your honor. ✋😔

#seriously. good vibes only #be nice to each other in the comments (or notes? whatever. you get it)#anyways i love Hawks and Twice #i have no doubt they would send each other shitposts at 3am with no context #the two of them would have competition's to see who could fit the most food in their mouth #they would be the most destructively playful dynamic duo #think of the shenanigans!#Horikoshi didn't put them together because they were too powerful #he's a coward 😤#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #hawks #bnha spoilers #keigo takami #takami keigo #bnha hawks #mha hawks #twice bnha #bnha twice #bubaigawara jin #jin bubaigawara #mha spoiler #bnha meta #hawks meta #I'm debating putting this is the Twice tag #whatever I'm putting it #mha twice #the point of the post is i wish they could've stayed friends. This was in my drafts and I'm posting it before I loose courage

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gildedmuse · 3 years

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Zoro's Loyalty, Part One

I've recently rewatched the non-Luffy parts of Marineford, and as a result I want to discuss how central Zoro is in terms of informing the audience's emotional reaction to the events.

Obviously, the main story revolves around Luffy and Ace, and it gives us plenty of Ace based flashbacks to ensure we feel the full impact of Luffy's loss. But while Ace may be a beloved character in the fandom, he isn't a well explorer character. Pretty much, up until Marineford, what we knew about Ace came from Alabaster and a handful of additional scenes spread out across hundreds of episodes. We do not even get a real sense of Luffy and Ace's relationship other than, "cool older brother Luffy looks up to" prior to the Impel Dow!n/Marineford/Summit War arc. Which isn't to say Ace wasn't a likeable character until then, he has a lot of charismatic characteristics that make him an immediate draw. However, we had yet to see him interact with Luffy outside of that very narrow older brother role.

Luffy is young enough, and Ace left early enough, that in a lot of ways he personifies that older mentor type who seems perfect to younger characters, because they only see the confidently projected mask, and are in awe of the experience that comes with age. So similar To the way that children view adults as having it all together, Luffy saw Ace in this very idolized way. It's only with the flashbacks expanding on his death scene that he goes from being merely a cool/likable character, to one you can easily empathize with.

But, Luffy isn't ever alone. Since nearly the beginning, he has had his crew, and while the show tends to be very Luffy-centric with his character often being the moral center of the show, the crew's reactions help to further develope how we should view Luffy's reaction. For instance, while the show often presents Luffy as the moral POV, he doesn't always have a wide emotional range. Usually, that role is reserved for the crew, typically Nami or Chopper although every crew member has filled this role at one point or another.

Now, during Marineford, Luffy is - for the most part - our sole POV and he does provide the emotional center for that arc, but his emotions in this case are almost TOO sharp; he is losing his brother, something that is easy to sympathize with, but not necessarily something that is easily understood by everyone. There is a lovely quote from Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events that says, "If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels; and if you haven’t, you cannot possibly imagine it." Fans might have loved Ace, but they didn't KNOW him until just recently in the story, which is why I think it really helps the story to provide additional emotional POVs. Not necessarily for Ace, but for Luffy. Because Luffy is having such a major emotional moment, and the reader is meant to feel - not so much for Ace's death, but for Luffy's loss. And the characters who can best provide an audience approximation are the crew that has spent a year with him, who know Luffy so well, and who will do anything for him.

Que Zoro.

Now, every crew member has a big reaction when they learn the news of Ace's death, even the ones that do not know Ace. They make it very clear that the Strawhats, while they might have known Ace and liked Ace, are feeling for Luffy, their captain. And so of course it makes sense that the show relies heavily in the two earliest crew members, Nami and Zoro, to help provide this sense of loyalty and sympathy when it comes to Luffy's pain.

This is not unusual. Like I mentioned, they often use Nami as an emotional center in the crew, mainly because her past experiences making her more empathetic towards people's plights (also because she is a lady, but we're going to just ignore the sexist undertones of expecting women to be more emotional and empathetic for the moment... I'm pretty sure Tumblr has a word count cut off). However, the Marineford At really singles out Zoro, both in terms of amount of screen time as well as placing importance on the way he reacts. Not just to Ace's death, but even before that. The show gives us the opportunity to see each Strawhat desperately trying to make it back to Sabaody, even prior to the news from Marineford, but Zoro's struggle is definitely highlighted.

Remember that just before this, Zoro is gravely injured at Thriller Bark, and then willingly takes more damage at Sabaody. He is, as Mihawk himself says, at his limit. And yet Zoro never once stops trying to get back to Luffy, long before he knows of Ace's fate. He wakes up near death, and his immediate reaction is that he needs to return to his captain. After all, he promised.

This gives more weight to the scene where he discovers that Ace is dead, because Zoro is already where we are emotionally. As viewers, we are meant to WANT the Strawhats to reunited, we WANT them to be there for Luffy. And, obviously, every Strawhat wants that as well. But none of them are stressed as hard as Zoro. Every member of the Strawhats wants to be there for their crew, but to Zoro is about three things: his crew, his word, and his captain.

Remember, Zoro just put his own life on the line not weeks ago at Thriller Bark solely to spare Luffy. He even says, quote, "What good am I if I cannot protect my captain's dreams?" which only further served to highlight a trait if Zoro's that we were already well aware of: his undying loyalty. So while returning to Sabaody is important to him because the crew is depending on him (a job that Zoro has undertaken many times, seeing it as his role on the ship to protect the crew of his captain), and because he gave his word (which we have both been told and shown is of great importance to Zoro and his personal concept of honor), when he learns of Ace's fate, it becomes something else entirely.

It becomes a mission to make up for his faults, for his failure to protect his captain.

Which is why Zoro's reaction is seperated from the rest. Everyone hurts when they learn that Ace is dead, realizing that Luffy is suffering because of this. But only Zoro received the news first hand. While everyone else reads about it in the paper, only Zoro receives an eye witness account 9f the events. While everyone else reads about Ace's death and understands, logically, that Luffy will of course be in pain because of what happened to his brother, only Zoro told straight up that Luffy witnessed the tragedy. Even with Mihawk's few words, Zoro is given a far more emotional picture of what his captain is going through, Which is why he is seperated from the rest of the group.

Notice that Zoro's reaction isn't even in the collage of crew members as the read about what happened. His is given priority both in that it is first, and it plays out the full scene without breaking away as it does for the other crew members. Not because the other Strawhats don't Care about Luffy - they very much do - but because it is Zoro's Reaction that the audience is suppose to feel the hardest.

We may not know the pain that Luffy is feeling in the moment, as he loses a brother we have only just been given an emotional connection to, but we can surely understand Zoro's horror that he wasn't there. Zoro is a character we have known for hundreds of episodes. We know how loyalty he is, how much he would sacrifice for his captain, but we've also seen how much he trusts Luffy. We have seen other characters freaking out with worry over Luffy, while Zoro just shrugs it off. Completely confident in his captain's ability to protect himself and others, utterly sure that Luffy will make it back to them safe and whole.

So we both immediately identify with Zoro's emotional response and we are shaken up by his sense of urgency. After all, Zoro is very rarely used as our emotional center in the show. He is usually a steady post, one that simply goes along with the danger and the events with no doubt or feat, because of his inherent believe in himself and his faith in Luffy

So the fact that ZORO, of all crew members, is not only alarmed by these events, but shows particular concern for Luffy is the signal to us, the audience, that we need to be concerned. It helps to prepare us for the fact that Ace's death was not simply the death of a character we loved, but a major event in Luffy's psyche. And that, unlike usual, when we can simply depend on Luffy to be Always Right and Always Moving Forward and Always Fine, this time we may have to worry about our captain.

Because if Zoro is worried, that means all of us should be.

#this is such a terribly worded post #i'm so sorry #i'll do better next time #captains and first mates #Zoro and Luffy's friendship #these two boys #one piece #roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #vice captain zoro #pre timeskip #marineford #That time Zoro's power accidentally became HEART #ZoLu #zoro x luffy #I'll tag it what I want #not my fault they're in love

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ghost-wonder · 3 years

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Why Oliver March is My Current Top Suspect for the Leader (Even though I love him)

Buckle your seatbelts kids and get ready for my hot mess of a PH theory. I wasn’t sure where to put this and I just wanted to get my thoughts out. I’m in the last year of my media studies and production degree so I’m putting my 3 years of tears to use and have been brewing this theory since reading 85. Now let me clarify: I adore March, but the more we see, the more suspicious I become (especially with ep. 82 & 85), and while many think this may mean death or something tragic, I’ve been thinking of the possibility it’s something much bigger (Note: lots of speculation here so prepare for a lot of what if’s and I’m only using content up to ep. 85).

My thought process regarding the leader:

The leader is a rather dehumanized villainous entity. With them being anonymous and the reader not having a face to place with the actions, it’s easier for us to take the leader’s actions at face value. We are provided no means of sympathizing or empathizing with their actions and instead, our story follows characters who have been traumatized by said actions.

Therefore, to provide readers with the greatest impact, the leader would likely be a character who up until the discovery of them being the leader, the reader viewed them positively. A character already humanized. Already trusted. And this would be both in terms of how the reader views that character, as well as other characters in the story. It would leave the reader reeling, trying to figure out why such a character would be the leader.

And keep in mind: PH has used this approach with Harvey; the audience liked him for the short time he appeared before being caprisunned and we were shocked to discover his involvement in the PS. Additionally, we’ve had characters dehumanizing and humanizing with Kieran. He’s introduced as this deadly assassin who kills brutally, with the greatest death toll in the PS. But he becomes humanized through his interactions with Lauren, so much so that both the reader and Lauren forget his occupation and are provided a chilling reminder in ep. 43. However, even after those horrible events, as we learn more regarding his character in season 2, we begin to empathize with his actions and reactions (though we don’t condone them). It demonstrates a duality, a mix of light and dark, seemingly contradicting one another. Because people are complicated.

This is also why I can’t buy into the idea that Tristan or Stefan is the leader, in fact, I don’t think either one is even involved with the PS. For Tristan I think he comes off suspicious because A) he’s meant to be a red herring but B) LAUREN’S PARENTS WERE APOSTLES AND YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE DID NOT KNOW. THEY LEFT AT ODD HOURS OF THE NIGHT ALL THE TIME AND LIKELY GAVE LAUREN TO TRISTAN TO PROTECT HER FROM THAT LIFE. HE PROBABLY THINKS LAUREN IS PS. But anywho. As for Stefan, he’s already been villainized through his treatment of William. The audience doesn’t like him for this reason and is then inherently suspicious of him because they dislike him. So for me, it feels too obvious. (I have an additional theory that he was involved with the print shop shooting, assisting Lizbeth (from what’s alluded in 64 with Lauren’s parents and 68) as chief of police but that’s for another place another time.)

What we know about the leader:

- It’s a he

- Has to be part of the older generation (would have needed to be an adult about 15 years ago)

- Was a member of SD

- Knew Lauren’s parents

- According to Hecate, he is closer and more similar to Lauren than she thinks

So why March? (It’s not just the villain scar)

- His speech to Kym and Will in 60 had me SUS. It felt very contradicting (he acknowledges the flaws in the system while saying they must continue their jobs, which is valid, but his phrasing was still off to me) and generally in any mystery drama if I see a character go on a moral rant of sorts, my sus radar is dialed up to 11. Unfortunately, we don’t know how much of it was true and lies because Lauren wasn’t around but if he is the leader I’d find it so fascinating if everything he said is the truth. The idea that this terrorist does have sound morals would be SO INTERESTING and kind of fitting? The leader having a strong sense of justice or strong morals would make him more similar to Lauren as Hecate said. But more on Hecate later.

- As confirmed by 85, he knew Lauren’s parents. He even says they worked together on cases. Through their work together, did they start to realize the flaws in their system? Was there a case that was just too much? SD formed?

- The death of his daughter does kind of fit the SD timeline. (She died in xx11 the pamphlets are dated xx14 but SD was likely formed slightly before the release of the pamphlets but that's not yet really confirmed). We don’t know how her illness killed her (could be class-related. Like because of their class status perhaps they didn’t have access to the resources that could have saved his daughter? Who knows. He said they did all they could. March is likely middle class similar to Kym but we don’t know for sure. And even if he is middle class we don’t know if this was always the case, like if he was middle class at the time of his daughter’s death.)

- Additionally the death of his wife. The date is blocked and as others have theorized I find it very possible it could have been SD related. But this sentence is chilling: “She fell into the bloody hands of criminals that have been plaguing Ardhalis for too long.” March doesn’t specify these criminals as the PS. So could he mean the royals? (Literally everything he says to Lauren in ep. 85 could have a double meaning and it bugs me so much like he never specifies the criminals he’s referring to. And everything he says sounds like the monologue of a villain who sees themselves as a hero because they haven’t realized how far gone they are. But that’s just me. ) If she died in the print shop shooting could this have been the catalyst to drive March to become the leader and start the PS? Losing your daughter and wife is a lot to take and could drive anyone over the edge. Point is: if any of this speculation is true, it would give March motive for becoming the leader.

- Also March mentioned how Lauren reminds him of his daughter which could then explain why Lauren hasn’t been touched by the PS cause at this point the girl should have been caprisunned a while ago if she wasn’t being protected from the inside.

- To build on that as well, if March is the leader then he has kept an eye on Lauren since she joined the force aka since she would have become problematic for the PS (cause you can argue being the daughter of apostles may not automatically make her a threat since she was a child at the time. But being the daughter of apostles and joining the police force to take down the PS? Now that’s an issue). March says in ep. 60 that Lauren was one of his recruits meaning the leader could have had his eye on her the entirety of her time in the APD. Just something to consider.

- And going back to Hecate's words, he’s more similar to you than you think. March and Lauren share (seemingly) similar morals and additionally he is close to her just as Hecate claimed. Also if any of my speculation regarding the deaths of his wife and daughter are correct it would have put him in a similar position to Lauren, the difference being her enemy is PS and his being the royals (but also as we’re starting to see with Lauren learning more information, I think the royals are starting to become an enemy in her eyes the same way PS is. Again if any of this is correct it just furthers similarities between the two).

- This could then also be the betrayal alluded to in the cards; one of Lauren's mentors has been the leader this whole time. The betrayal is either past or future but March being the leader could count as both. He betrayed her in the past by ordering the death of her parents and may betray her again in the future as he continues to play the role of leader

- Plus this would also mean the leader has been present in the story FROM THE VERY BEGINNING MARCH WAS IN EP 2 HOW WILD WOULD IT BE IF WE’VE KNOWN THE LEADER THIS WHOLE TIME

- AND IMPORTANT NOTE: WHY IS MARCH NOT ONE OF THE PEOPLE LAUREN SUSPECTS DURING EP. 82 YET HE HAS HER BACK SIMILAR TO WILL AND KYM. "LAUREN OPEN YOUR EYES" BLINDEST OF THEM ALL TYPE STUFF. (Also with Lauren being the blindest of all, it led me to believe anyone Lauren is suspicious of, is not the one to betray her. I feel like it would have to be someone so unsuspicious, Lauren doesn’t even think of them. Which can be said of March; we literally have a whole scene in ep. 82 demonstrating how close they are and how a level of trust exists. Yet panels later, it doesn’t even cross her mind that he could betray her).

Now possible flaws in this theory (there are more I’m sure but here’s a few):

-Why voice support for lune and their actions: Lune’s actions have yet to affect the leader (at least to our knowledge) and have technically been helping the leader. The leader views Apostle 7 as an issue so obviously whoever the leader is, they won’t take issue with Lune taking down this problem for them. When first telling Lauren about McTrevor, Kieran said he was surprised he hadn’t been sent by the leader to kill him off yet. And when the 11th precinct received that first Lune letter about him, March was the one to voice that they should follow Lune’s orders. If he’s the leader, this could explain why he wanted to follow Lune’s orders and dispose of McTrevor without PS means. This is a possible explanation anyway.

- Why send moles into the 11th precinct if the leader himself is already there: I boil this down to a matter of seeming less suspicious. Like why possibly risk the exposure of your identity if your organization consists of hundreds of potential puppets who are easily disposable?

-Why place the PH in the 11th precinct if the leader is there: Okay this plays into another theory I have regarding Kieran. We know there are boatloads of parallels between Lauren and Kieran which left me thinking Kieran has had a similar Tim Sake type incident. What I mean by this is that Lauren’s whole deal with Tim Sake was heavily guided by her personal anger and resulted in distrust from her superior, Hermann. I think Kieran had a similar incident with killing that one person without orders, in which his actions were guided by his personal anger and resulted in distrust from his superior, the Leader. So we know from 83 Kierans been overseas for a while (Why? Was there a mission or did the leader need Kieran out of Ardhalis? Both?) and his comment in 64 (“I wonder how much longer his patience will last”), as well as the comments made by Bella and the messenger at various points regarding Kieran following and not following orders (ep 5 and 72-73?), further my thinking that the leader may be SUS of his best player. So what do you do with someone you’re suspicious of: you keep them right where you can see them.

- The one flaw I have yet to work out an explanation for is why order the death of lune? Regardless of who the leader is, this is a question I’ve mulled over since the end of season 1. J’en sais rien mes amis mais on verra.

Closing Thoughts:

Hopefully, this didn’t sound like the ramblings of a sleep-deprived senior (even though that’s exactly what this is haha) and hopefully, it gave you some stuff to consider. Up until this point, I never spent much time contemplating the leader, partly because I didn’t feel like we were far enough in the story to have enough evidence against one person. While much of this is speculation, I still think it’s the soundest case I have for any PH character we’ve met thus far being the leader.

#purple hyacinth #ph webtoon #lauren sinclair #oliver march #kieran white #webtoon #purple hyacinth webtoon #this is a lot #dont hate me i just cant accept nice things

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maleyanderecafe · 3 years

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Yanderes Killing their S/O

Hello again to another one of these analysis posts! I've been thinking lately about yandere tropes and one of the biggest ones that came up in my mind was the idea of yanderes killing their s/os. A lot of people in asks have often stated that this idea is rather cliche or not executed properly, so let's get into why that might be.

First, before examining this, let's talk a bit about the origins of yanderes. I've probably mentioned this a bit before either in other asks or other analysis, but the idea of yandere comes from the deconstruction of the trope Yamato Nadeshiko. Obviously, there are other cases of yanderes outside Japan, but we'll talk specifically about the Japanese history of it. Yamato Nadeshiko is the idea of idealized Japanese women. A person who is a Yamato Nadeshiko is often very obedient, graceful, and has maturity and humility while still being able to rule with a forceful push without being overly emotional. This is the idealized version of Japanese women, at least in the Neo-Confucious era. However, the deconstruction part of this comes when the character in question doesn't have this kind of inner force, basically becoming a doormat. When a character is overly graceful and still gets stepped on like a doormat, they are likely to snap and become violent, something that is shown a lot when it comes to yanderes. This is where the deconstruction comes in. If the character is forced to love such a perfect life but is still stepped on over and over again, at some point, this person will snap and destroy everything in their path. This idea still persists a bit in yanderes as often yanderes are characters who outwardly seem very graceful and perfect, while inwardly they are more obsessive. There is a really good read on it here that goes more in-depth with the origins of yanderes and the psyche of Yuna.

Like I've said before, we can still see how the idea of Yamato Nadeshiko still persists in yanderes, at least in broad terms. A lot of yanderes, in both male and female forms, are often depicted as kind, graceful and smart, at least initially. For instance, in terms of a school setting, this kind of character is not only nice to everyone but has the best grades, a huge army of fans behind them, and good teachers. Outwardly, they're likely to be depicted as perfect or a kind person, but inwardly, it's likely that they're a lot more twisted and obsessed. It's not necessarily just in a school setting either, a lot of yanderes are depicted as kind and perfect people when in reality they are a lot more dangerous than they might appear. With this thought, this perfection is shattered when they fall in love, becoming attached and obsessed with their lover, to the point of them being unstable and unable to live without them. If something goes wrong with them and the s/o, for instance, the s/o cheats on them, then they snap, often causing the death of the s/o in the process. This part is where we see the Yamato Nadeshiko snaps from the pressure, and in this case, the yandere snaps causing the death of the s/o.

So why do many people find that a yandere killing their s/o unacceptable or uninteresting? The idea of a yandere killing their s/o is nothing new. In fact, it often makes a lot of sense that a yandere might kill their s/o, especially if the s/o has done something wrong, and the yandere themselves are not stable. Well, there are a couple of reasons why this trope is unacceptable or uninteresting to a lot of people.

For one, this trope of a yandere killing their s/o is expected and often becomes cliche. Yanderes killing their s/o has been pretty synonymous with the archetype itself, next to knives and the yandere face. If the s/o cheats on the yandere, of course, the yandere is going to get mad and kill the s/o. If the yandere misunderstands what the s/o is doing, of course, they might feel that death is the only option for them. Just looking at most yanderes, we often expect them to kill their loved one, but the idea is just very cliche. Now, mind you, there's nothing wrong with writing a yandere that kills their s/o, it's how you execute it. Often a lot of people write the yandere killing their s/o in the same way- the yandere misinterprets/interprets the s/o doing something that jeopardizes their relationship or they find that something is trying to stop their relationship and become a killer to stop it. Cheating is pretty common and so is talking to competition, with the yandere misinterpreting the action. The problem with this is that it's often written in a way that just makes it seem like the yandere is being paranoid without really anything to back it up. We expect that this action will cause conflict with the s/o and a lot of times we expect what they saw to be a misunderstanding or something that's not worth killing over. This itself has been done over and over again, so much so that again, many people expect it.

The second reason is that often, the yandere is not written well, and therefore the death of the s/o is more for shock factor if anything. When the yandere kills their s/o, yes, we might understand why he does it in terms of reason, but we don't really sympathize or care about it because we don't actually know why the yandere thinks that way. This may have worked when the concept of a yandere was still being formed, but nowadays, it's important that your characters have some sort of depth to them. This isn't just the case with specifically yanderes either, many things that used to be simple concepts (anime, cartoons, comics, even films) often now have more characterization of characters in terms of things like backstories, personalities, and actions outside of their stories. I really do like this trend and it makes me happy that people are putting more depth into what each character is like and why they are like that. But a lot of the time, especially for smaller one-shots, we don't really see much of why a yandere might decide to kill their s/o. We might be able to infer or take a guess, but it doesn't seem like it would really give enough information or even enough emotion to empathize. I'm not saying that it's impossible to write a developed character in a one-shot, it's just there is less space to do so. In one-shots, its also very easy to simply kill the s/o at the end because the story won't continue on from there.

Finally, the last reason is that when the yandere does kill the s/o, we often don't really feel for the s/o's death because the s/o isn't really established as a character. This is also something that can happen with yanderes as well since the yanderes often don't have much characterization, but I feel like this is especially true for the s/o. A lot of times, the s/o has such basic characterization that there's really nothing to describe them other than being "nice" or "kind". this is especially true in otome games where the MC is suppose to be the stand in for the character, but actually acts rather irrationally or in a stupid way to get specific character endings or bad endings. Even in stories, I often find the yandere far more interesting then their love interest, mostly because the love interest doesn't have any interesting or insightful qualities or flaws. In fact, it almost seems as if the s/o is meant to be killed because of how uninteresting they are, which is unfortunate as it means that they weren't very well written. We can also see this in terms of the yandere itself as often we don't even get to see what their reaction is to murdering their s/o and what effect they may have on them emotionally or physically in the long run. Do they mourn for the loss of the s/o? Do people find out about who killed the s/o? Does the yandere even realize they've killed the s/o? There's a lot of different questions that often aren't explored when it comes to what happens.

There are probably a lot of reasons why people don't like the yandere troupe of killing their s/o and there's good reason to be. But that doesn't mean that you can't write a yandere that kills their s/o in a story. But you should consider a few things while thinking about writing it, to better write a good character.

First of all, consider how the yandere leads up to killing the s/o as well as the reason for killing the s/o. In a lot of cases, it's because of jealousy that is often mistaken (they think the s/o is cheating on them when in reality they're just asking about something else. This kind of miscommunication is common and honestly really annoying in all aspects, since it could be easily solved through. There are a lot of reasons to why the yandere may kill the s/o, and what might lead up to it. It might be a unfortunate consequence to a flaw that they might have, for instance if a yandere was very brash and violent they might end up accidentally killing the s/o who was protecting someone. Or it might be something that is more built up, like a problem with insecurity that ends up with the death of the s/o, because they feel like they just aren't good enough for them. It could also be something that is done on purpose, like the s/o's existence means the end of the world and they force the yandere to kill them. Or it could be in a more antagonistic way, like the yandere killing the s/o to force them into hell with them. Having these characterization makes the yandere feel more interesting or at least gives reason to the way that they are.

Second, consider the feelings the yandere has after killing the s/o. Most of the time, the yandere kills the s/o and the story ends, either because its the end of a long story or because the story itself is a one-shot. Unfortunately this means that we don't actually see what the effects of the death will cause the yandere. Assuming that the story doesn't end with just the yandere killing the s/o, we can delve deeper into what kind of feelings the yandere may feel. If the death was an accident, for instance, the yandere may feel despair over their death and blame it on themselves. They may take their own life or try to find a way to revive their loved ones. They may feel accomplishment if they were a reluctant yandere, where they won't feel shackled to having the obsessive feelings anymore. It's likely that they will mourn over their s/o, and if they are an enlightened yandere, they may be able to move on, but if they are more delusional, they may believe that the s/o is still alive and treat their bodies as such. There's a lot of reactions to death, both good and bad, so it might be interesting to see how a yandere would react to something as drastic as their s/o's death.

Third, consider the s/o themselves and how their death may affect other people besides the yandere. Even if the s/o is extremely bland with little character, it's hard to believe that nobody would care about their death. The s/o should have some semblance of character, even if it is a bit of a cliche, such as being very rash, being responsible, being cold, really anything that can distinguish them from just a plain MC. If you consider the death of the s/o, we might also see how others around them felt, whether they cared for the s/o or if they absolutely hated them can help give the s/o more character even after death. For instance, if everyone absolutely hated the s/o, they might feel that the only way to escape being isolated is death, which is what they enlist the yandere to do. Or perhaps they feel that death is the only way to achieve enlightenment and tries to manipulate the yandere into killing them. Perhaps the s/o really hates the yandere, so as revenge, they somehow get the yandere to kill them to scar them forever. Maybe, the s/o is a very clumsy person, and despite being warned again and again by the yandere to be careful, they end up being in the yandere's path and end up being killed because of their carelessness. This all gives development of the yandere and the s/o's relationship together, which could help in why the yandere acts the way that they do, and the cause of the s/o's death.

All in all, the death of an s/o by the hands of the yandere can prove to be an interesting trope if written correctly. Just like any cliche can be made interesting again with a bit of tweaking, so writing the death of an s/o through the yandere can be as well. There's no right or wrong way to write it, just try to make the story and interesting and fulfilling one to experience.

#male yandere #yandere boy #yandere #analysis

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bakugoukatsuki-rising · 4 years

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I'm gonna say it and I'm sorry if it strums some people wrong and I lose followers

YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO BE REFLECTED IN DEKU'S BULLYING.

DEKU'S SITUATION IS NOT YOUR SITUATION AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO IDENTIFY SO STRONGLY WITH IT THAT YOU BASH ON THE CHARACTERS AND COMPILE HATE AGAINST THEM, YOU NEED TO LEAVE THE FANDOM.

Has Hori touched on some ouchy subjects? Yeah, he has.

Has he been working on moving those characters forward to produce better, kinder characters? Yeah, he has.

I literally just read someone account their own bullying situation with them pointing out the one who bullied them admitted they were suffering at that time and that's why they were aggressive, but op then stated "but that doesn't mean I need to forgive her."

Well, you're right, you don't need to. That's YOUR situation. But it isn't Deku's, and so you need to stop projecting your own issues and feelings of resentment toward YOUR bully, onto HIS. Because Bakugo hasn't been a bully since like..chapter 1 of the manga when Deku clearly states he stopped bothering him after the sludge villain incident.

I sympathize and empathize with victims of bullying, I was one, and I was also a bully. I know how it is to stand in both sets of shoes, and it doesn't put me on a pedestal, but I do feel I can understand a bit more of Bakugo and Deku's situation because of it.

But just...listen, okay? Stop watching. Stop reading. This show/manga is obviously something not good for your mental health if you're so fixated on hating a character and bringing down the artists' work because of it. It is okay to step away and admit this isn't for you, but stop making the fandom space so bitter and dark because you can't separate fiction from reality.

Let people understand and enjoy the characters in different ways than you without being hostile about it.

Also, don't fucking ship Bakugo with anyone if you think he was abusive toward Deku because that's spitting in the face of people who actually dealt with abuse. You throw such a heavy word around like it doesn't actually mean something to people who have gone through it and know for a fact that is bullshit. If you see him as abusive to one person, see him as abusive to everyone else.

Don't make exceptions to fit your biased agenda of hatred and ignorance.

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animearchetypes · 4 years

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MLP: Pony Life - Is Fluttershy a Yandere?

I have never done an analysis revolving a character outside of anime before, but this tenth episode of MLP: pony Life is hard to not pay attention to.

To start off, yes I am a bit of a pegasister, aka a female brony and yes I enjoy Friendship Is Magic. The G4 series has a ton of references to the anime tropes out there; with Pinkie’s sister Maud Pie showing characteristics of a kuudere and Marble Pie showing characteristics of being both dandere and undere.

More information about the dere types here so I recommend non-anime fans to check it out: https://anime-archetypes.tumblr.com/post/621054439730577408/guide-to-all-dere-types-in-anime-renewed

This time it’s about Fluttershy, one of the main characters in My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and the brand new series My Little Pony: Pony Life.

To clear the confusion, MLP: Pony Life is set in an alternate universe of Friendship Is Magic, the Fluttershy in Pony Life is not the same character as the Fluttershy back in MLP: Friendship Is Magic.

Unlike Fluttershy in MLP: Friendship is Magic who happens to be a Dandere, Fluttershy in Pony Life’s recent episode is in my opinion almost a Yandere, with Discord as her target of affection. Granted this is a kids show so there is obviously no homicide involved, but she did have her obsessive moments which is what I’m going to talk about here.

I did a short mention of the MLP: Friendship is Magic version of Fluttershy being a Dandere here: https://anime-archetypes.tumblr.com/post/616687492848140288/dandere-fluttershy

This blog contains “heavy spoilers” so I recommend you watch the episode ‘Discord’s Peak’ before you read this! Clear? Good!

At the start of the episode, Fluttershy organizes a trip to visit the magical volcano known as, Mt. Volcanope. She attempted to convince Discord to join her, even promising chaos and danger, but to no avail.

So the Mane Six were climbing up the volcano, with Fluttershy walking with them in melancholy and is already missing Discord, saying she wishes for Discord to tag along with them and join their Trail Trotter troop. Rainbow questions her and indirectly calls Discord a “walking disaster”, to which Fluttershy replies “but he’s my walking disaster.”

Already there were some signs of affection there. Now when most people show signs of having a crush on someone, they become lovestruck to the point that they even find their crush’s habits and quirks cute, in the picture above was Fluttershy’s awe towards Discord being a “walking disaster”. Fluttershy wanting Discord to tag along was her craving him; and Fluttershy’s love for chaos and recently danger were Discord’s characteristics rubbing off on her, with some of his traits becoming her traits.

What does this have to do with Fluttershy’s yandere signs you ask? I’ll get to that. We’re simply observing her lovey-dovey signs first, which is what dere from the Japanese word deredere roughly translates to. We can see here that she was in a partial lovestruck state, not showing any fear of heights (unlike her MLP: FiM counterpart) and her apparent attraction to danger, since danger is what Discord likes.

Anyone can do crazy things when they’re in love, that doesn’t automatically make them a yandere. A character has to become lovesick and do twisted things in order for their love interest to be with them, and killing is the most common way to eliminate anyone who tries (or even thinks about) to take their love away from them. But like I said, Pony Life is a kids show and I did mention in my other post that not all yanderes have to kill in order to be with their significant other.

Also, just because it’s a kids show doesn’t take away the yandere moments here and there, with some yandere moments from Berry in Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, the Kankers in Ed Edd n Eddy, and Pucca in Pucca Funny Love. And boy did Fluttershy cross the line after the mane six have reached the summit of the volcano!

“Just a little chaos...”

“Fluttershy?”

“Enough to get Discord to join in on the fun!”

And that my friends is what I meant about her borderline yan side showing, with Fluttershy’s inner crazy reaching its peak as she deliberately triggers an eruption, putting herself and her friends in danger (and eventually the town). She thought more about Discord joining them (when really she thought about herself) and never once thought about her friends’ safety, that is one of the examples of reaching yandere territory.

Her plan did work eventually and Discord came to their rescue as a result of Fluttershy being in danger (which was her own fault by the way), and he did so by using his magic to stop the pink lava from flowing (yes the lava’s pink don’t question it).

After he saved them, Fluttershy continued to use her psychological tactic the second time to get Discord to join them, in which we viewers know that she really wanted to be close with him. She mentioned how she always knew he was a “trail trotter” at heart. It’s highly likely that she knew he was going to disagree, to which he did and that helped her keep up with her psychological tricks.

She mentioned that he was right and called him a “Solo Scout” with her lovestruck eyes and pink hearts floating around them. Even while lovestruck, that doesn’t stop her from using her tactic, nor did it stop her from predicting Discord’s reactions.

She knew that he would like the sound of what she called him and that he would want her to explain more, and so sneaky Fluttershy explained, “Solo Scouts are a troop of one. They rely on nopony but themselves. But, oh, you chose not to join, so forget I said anything." That last sentence she used was probably to get Discord under her control; she knew his strengths, weaknesses, traits; and used them to her advantage. Thus her plan worked again, with Discord finally joining the Mane Six.

Well, at least she had some form of guilt, and she did express her guilt over trying to force Discord into doing something he does not want to do, so that was at least something, right? While it’s true she experienced guilt, but that only revolved around Discord and not her close friends she put at risk. I call this Selective Empathy. She only managed to put herself at Discord’s position, but not the position of the rest of the mane six.

That to me sounds like a similar situation with most other yandere characters in media. Yuno Gasai from Mirai Nikki only sympathized and empathized with Yukiteru, but she had no remorse for the people she murdered; the same goes for Satou Matsuzaka, who only managed to sympathize with her girlfriend Shio. Depending on the level of yandere, they mainly express guilt for someone who is their love interest. Of course Fluttershy in Pony Life expressed her empathy for her friends in other episodes, namely Cute-pocalypse Meow when some cat was being a jerk towards her friends.

Conclusion

Ranging from the first episode to this recent tenth episode, it’s safe to say that in my opinion, Fluttershy from Pony Life would be a mild yandere (but of course it's only one episode). But the question is, when Discord appears in future episodes, will we be seeing more of Fluttershy’s novice yandere moments? Will Discord notice Fluttershy’s obsessive love towards him? And how will he react?

We’ll just have to wait and see.

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sakura--jin · 4 years

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seven (sasusaku)

summary: Memories. Seven ways they were perfect from the start, and their story finally complete. Fluff.

note: I first posted this story on FFN 7 years ago - before we went canon! You’d think that I’d be tired of this couple by now...but I always come back. :)

-.-.-.-.-

seven

by JIN1968

-.-.-.-.-

Seven, the perfect number.

i. 7 colors of the rainbow

At six, it was your smile that made me smile and get butterflies in my stomach.

Now, I'm not sure if you know this, but I used to watch you and the other boys in our little class of fifteen play ball together after class. Because I was just that bit more mature, people thought I was hard to approach, so no one really talked to me - this was before Ino - and so I always sat alone on the swingset, watching you and the others play. I never said anything because I felt that if I did, I'd disrupt some kind of perfect harmony that everyone at the park had, and just carried on with my role of swinging and staring.

One day, you threw a perfect toss towards the wall - the weekly basketball games had turned to wall ball - and tripped and fell over. I think I was first shocked that you would make this kind of mistake, and then realized that you must've been in a lot of pain. So I yelled for an adult to come while I tried to help you stand. (Meanwhile, most of the other girls had just screamed at the sight of a bit of blood on your knees and ran away.)

(...Just for the record.)

When you came back the next week for another game of wall ball, I saw you smile at me before making another perfect toss without falling over this time. This made me smile so much that I got off my swing and started jumping up and down, cheering you on.

You came over to me, and asked, real politely, "Would you like to play with us?"

To which I answered in the most exasperated way, "Yes!"

And so we would always play together: me, you, and the other boys too, until that older brother of yours would come and pick you up. You'd wave and smile at me, saying our goodbyes, and I'd do the same back, before resigning back to my seat on the swings.

This was before the massacre, of course. Itachi would soon not only take you away from me after every ball game we played, but he'd also take away the warmth of your heart and the naive smile that I fell in love with which won't ever come back.

ii. 7 cosmic stages

At eight, it was your fake smiles and silent suffering that made me cry in your place.

I'd heard about the massacre and what happened with your brother from my parents who had heard it from the neighbors - after all, it was the gossip of the village for the next three months.

I can imagine how painful and annoying it was for you to be suffering from the trauma, and the murmurs and exaggerated sympathy from the villagers. Which is why, looking back now, I must've been just that much more annoying when I gave you a basket of tomatoes as an out-of-the-blue present and then proceeded to tell you that I was sorry.

It made me cry though, when you stood up from your seat and told me I was pissing you off. And it made me break down, even more, when you went on and reprimanded me for saying "I'm sorry" so carelessly.

But I wasn't saying it like that, just tossing an apology absentmindedly.

I said it because I couldn't understand why you would keep smiling and not have a complete mental breakdown in front of the grown-ups who gave their conspicuously feigned sympathies.

And when you don't understand something, Sasuke - one can only try to sympathize with the other.

But after losing you, and having the village call my teammate a "despicable traitor," I've come to empathize with you.

Completely.

iii. 7 heavens

At twelve, it was your silent ways of showing that you still cared that made me smile and put my faith in you.

Obviously, you were never really the one who'd boldly act out a random act of kindness for another; that was more of Naruto's thing. Instead, you probably did all of it subconsciously.

Subconsciously, you'd correct my mistakes in training by watching me and then demonstrating. Subconsciously, you'd pay for all the ramen after our team seven monthly dine-outs. Subconsciously you'd save my life and Naruto's, subconsciously you actually did listen to what I wanted for Christmas.

(And don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about, Sasuke. If I didn't notice the little things, then I probably wouldn't have been valedictorian of our academy class. I also wouldn't be head of the hospital, for that matter.)

Because it's the little things that count and the little things that matter. You'd always make all your weapons and everything nice and neat, down to the very detail.

So of course, when it came to your "betray the Hidden Leaf" plan, I'm sure you had it all thought out, of course. And knowing you - you probably already knew that I was going to stop you.

iv. 7 hells

At twelve, it was your flat out rejection that made me realize the pain of losing another.

How you sent me through hell and back with just two words, I won't ever know. I'd spent nights thinking about what they'd meant.

"Thank you…" But no?

"Thank you…" Me too?

"Thank you..."

Sometimes I wish that you were capable of speaking more than two words in a sentence. But then that wouldn't be like the Sasuke I know, so I wouldn't actually like that.

I remember spending so many days, so many nights, after you left, just walking around Konoha, watching the stars, thinking of you. Wondering if you were suffering now, or if you ever wondered about me and Naruto.

But most of all, I wondered if you had changed. I wondered and feared if the sheer environment, people, and society of Sound, was capable of changing someone so caring and brave and smart as Sasuke Uchiha —

And of course, it did.

I knew the Sasuke I knew had died some day in Sound. And so I cried every night, pretending that he was still alive and that I was still waiting for him.

But when the pain became just too much to bear - I gave up waiting and entrusted my dreams to the future.

v. 7 pillars of wisdom

At seventeen, it was my poisoned kunai at my throat that made me realize that our little love that could had already crumbled and fell.

Just what had happened to you, Sasuke? What happened between the time we'd last met at the hideout? What happened between fighting Naruto and living in Sound? What happened between my confession and now?

Did my feelings really mean nothing to you anymore?

After we'd left the area, and for months to follow the incident, the same question would always surface in my mind:

Did you actually want to kill us? Were you actually capable and fully prepared to do so?

In the weeks before the incident, I immediately would've said no. No, I would've said confidently, Sasuke's still the Sasuke we know, and the Sasuke we know is someone who cares for his teammates and is cold, but never cruel, towards others. I'd also add softly that, that was the Sasuke I had fallen in love with so many years back.

But looking back now and thinking so long, I don't think so.

I know you were fully capable of killing us that day, Sasuke. I'll never forget the maniacal laughter you gave that day. And I'll never forget that blood-stained expression on your face either.

vi. 7 circuits of jericho

At nineteen, it was your return to our side in the war that made me realize that yes, we're allowed to forgive and forget.

Of course, it just had to be me who first noticed you had come to us with the other Hokages. And of course, I just had to be oh-so-surprised and utterly wonderstruck when we first made eye-contact.

I'm sure you thought I looked pretty stupid, just like that good old twelve-year-old fangirl Sakura. Well, no sir -

for your information, that smirk you gave (and Naruto's little squeaks of...awe) after I punched the hell out of those monsters later that day was fulfilling enough to temporarily forgive you for looking down on me. And anyway, you came back by yourself, out of the blue - which to the me in the midst of such a great and confusing war, meant all the more meaningful. For years Naruto and I had just tried and tried to get you to come back, and yet, how ironic that in the end, you came back on your own accord (complete with a pretty impossible dream to become Hokage, you psycho). And for the first time in just far too long, we all fought as the original Team 7 again - which seriously, just meant much more than the world to me.

(Also, forgive me for randomly slapping you after it all was over. I just had to.)

vii. 7 pipes of pan

At twenty-one, it was your awkward cliched proposal on one knee and bouquet of roses in hand that made me realize that yes, Sakura - love can always start again.

And Sasuke, after making you read such a long story of us, I suppose my answer to your confession is, has, and will always be, quite obvious in the most exasperated way - hell yes, you stupid psycho bastard.

Seven, the number of completion.

End.

-.-.-.-.-

Thank you so much for reading - have a great day!

#sasusaku #sasusaku fanfiction #ssfanfiction #sasusaku fanfic #my writing #oneshot #short fic #ss fanfic #fluff

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aspoonofsugar · 4 years

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I don't understand why everyone is shitting on Eren , Okay his plan is definitely crazy but i really feel like there is more to it than meets the eye ,And even if his plan does kill innocent people I don't think it's that bad, Those people would've lived their entire lives as slaves and in injustice So killing them in a way is freeing them , Also Eren doesn't seem like he expects to live after all the cruelty he s going to commit. What do you think ?

Hello anon!

I do not hate Eren and I am actually full of feelings for him after this chapter, but I do think that he is wrong and that the manga is making it very clear in how it frames the whole situation.

First of all, there is the very basic argument that you can not really justify genocide and that defending a character who is basically going to commit one can be very triggering to people as @hamliet explains here (the post also has a link to another post by @momtaku which can be useful).

Secondly, I think that the way the story is currently being told really frames Eren as an antagonist.

Let’s begin with the fact that he has stopped being a POV character hence we are given very little access to his interiority, while we are given a lot of insights in how other characters feel about him and the whole situation. We know how Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Hange, Levi and Zeke feel and we also know how Reiner, Gabi and Falco feel and why they are doing what they are doing. In short, both sides are given a lot of space, but Eren’s interiority is not explored at all. He has been the character moving the plot the most recently, but his POV has yet to be seen. This in itself makes him a less sympathetic character, not because it is inherently impossible to sympathize with him (by the way sympathizing or feeling for a character is different from excusing or justifying his actions), but simply because the narration doesn’t give us the chance to do so. We as readers are meant to empathize with the other characters and to wonder together with them what happened to Eren and why he is doing what he is doing.

In a sense, the way Eren is currently framed in relation to others reminds me of how Johan is framed in Monster. Both Monster and Snk are stories which explore the idea of what is a monster and why monsters are born. The point of Johan is to be for the other characters a mystery they have to solve and in order to solve it their empathy is challenged because every easy answer is promptly discarded. When it comes to why Johan became who he is there are not reassuring answers and explanations people can use. I think that Isayama is doing something similar with Eren with the twist that Johan is presented as a negative character since the beginning, while Eren is introduced as the protagonist and so seeing him turned into one of the monsters he despised in the beginning is even more heartbreaking.

Apart from this, the reason why I think Eren is the final antagonist is simply that by this point all the other characters having a conflict with him is what makes the most sense for the plot and which could make the whole cast shine. The SC have literally no one else left to fight because the way Eren currently is he can annihilate all the enemies of Paradis on his own. Why should we have a final conflict where we basically have the Warriors and Marley as the underdogs (and they are going to be the underdogs because they are going to be the major POV characters since we are not given Eren’s POV) while all the members of our original cast are simply there watching what happens? Sure, they can have some conflict with Zeke and Yelena, but let’s be real the stakes would be nothing compared to the Warriors fighting Eren to save the world and I do not even know why Yelena and Zeke should fight them by this point. In short, a final battle where the whole cast is involved and which has the final goal to stop Eren seems like the most plausible solution for me. As usual, I am ready to be surprised and I do think that some minor conflicts will arise (for example conflicts with the Jeagersists, Floch and Yelena), but I also think that everyone will take part in the major one involving Eren.

As far as your second point goes i.e. Eren’s plan being more than just the destruction of the world, I think that there are still two POVs which could give us additional information and they are Historia’s and Eren’s. Up until the moment we are given them, everyone can still be hopeful there is something we are ignoring. That said, the only revelation which could partially change things and which comes to my mind is that Eren is playing the part of the villain, so that everyone can unite to bring him down and that he is acting this way because he has seen Armin, Mikasa or someone else stopping him. This could also explain why he has been pushing Armin and Mikasa away. However, even if that were the case, I would say that, without anything more, Eren would have still gone at it in the worst way possible. Why couldn’t he simply be honest with at least his closer friends? If he is playing the villain, why couldn’t he let Armin and Mikasa know? In the best case scenario they might have been able to avert such a future and in the worst case scenario they could have still helped him in his plan in a more efficient way. A lot of victims could have been avoided if at least a small group of the SC had known of Eren’s plan. They could have let him and Zeke touch each other immediately for example and in this way Zeke would not have transformed all those people in titans and Levi would not have been wounded. Mikasa, Armin and the rest of the 104th would not have felt betrayed and they could have acted without having to process a lot of contradicting emotions.

Finally, I strongly disagree with your last point.

By your reasoning, then why shouldn’t they have gone with Zeke’s plan? Zeke’s plan would have ensured the deaths of all the Eldians and (if death=freedom) it would have freed all of them. What is more, this freedom would have come after easy and peaceful lives and not in a violent way like in Eren’s plan.

Or even better, why should Marley’s solution to kill all the Eldians be so wrong? Aren’t the Eldians living as slaves and in an unjust world? Then why should it be wrong to “free” them from this world?

The point is obviously that taking someone else’s life away against the person’s will is something which negates freedom. People are free because they are born into this world and they can make their own choices.

It is true that the manga has presented some characters’ deaths (Erwin’s and Kenny’s to be precise) as the characters finding freedom, but they are a minority. Most of the deaths we are shown are cruel and painful. Marlow regretted joining the SC just before dying, Sasha died wishing to eat her favourite food, Bertholdt screamed for help. What is more, we have characters like Mikasa or Historia whose arc is about living despite it all. They have both shone when they refused to give up on their lives.

Let me also highlight that Eren himself does not think of what he is about to do as he himself freeing the world. The last chapter makes it very clear:

He remembers that it was violence what took his freedom away to begin with and he is planning to use that same violence against people (like the kid and his family) whose freedom has already been compromised by another war.

Eren knows that what he is about to do is something terrible. He knows that he is no different from Marley or from Reiner, but he has still chosen to keep going.

These are my current thoughts on Eren. As usual, I am open to be surprised in a positive way and as stated above it is true that we are still missing some key POV, but as for now this is what I think.

Thank you for the ask!

#snk 123 #snk #asksfullofsugar #anonymous #eren jeager

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janiedean · 5 years

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nebraska is the title song from bruce springsteen’s eponymous 1982 album, which is incidentally the objectively best record he’s ever put out or at least it’s in the top three and about everyone agrees about it in some kind of miraculous conversion of fan and critics’s opinions.

nebraska is not just a turning point in springsteen’s career, as it was the first time he put out a record which was pretty much bleak/depressing material with not much of a way out of it and a great stylistic change from his usual as it’s all voice, guitar and harmonica, to match the bleak atmosphere of the songs, but it’s also a damn gem of a song that everyone should listen to, so please let me have a go at it. ;)

now, background: nebraska is about real life serial killer charles starkweather, who in turn bruce learned from while watching terrence malick’s excellent movie badlands (guys y’all really should watch it it’s REALLY GOOD!). tldr, this dude at nineteen took his 14-yo girlfriend around nebraska and wyoming for a week or so and killed ten people and was then sentenced to the death penalty, and that’s all you need to know on the subject. bruce was interested in the story, researched it and wrote the song about it and put it as first in the album to which it gave the title, and that should already suggest you what you’re signing up for. but now on to the lyrics, shall we?

I saw her standin' on her front lawn just twirlin' her baton Me and her went for a ride sir and ten innocent people died

the opening is reminiscing of the malick movie we discussed before - the scene with the girlfriend twirling her baton is lifted right from it, and gives us an excellent summary of the entire song because bruce is good at summarizing things: you know that the protagonist, as the song is in first person, sees his girlfriend on the front lawn, takes her into his car and they killed ten innocent people. now, if you aren’t listening to the song you don’t know that he’s singing it in an extremely flat voice in such a way that he seems extremely detached from what he/the POV of the song has done, which makes the entire effect even creepier. so, what happened on the ride?

From the town of Lincoln, Nebraska with a sawed off .410 on my lap Through to the badlands of Wyoming I killed everything in my path

here we have another example of how good is bruce at painting a very vivid picture with ten words - we know where they left from (lincoln nebraska), we know what weapon he used (the .410), and then he went through the badlands of wyoming killing everything in his path, which if you know how the badlands of wyoming look, should give you a pretty damn good idea of the scenery. if you’re like jon and sansa stark and failed geography, I’ll remind you:

suggestive, huh? so, he has you visualize the entire thing while singing flatly and without emotions about a guy who went on a murder spree without many emotions about it himself. which is made clear in the next line:

I can't say that I'm sorry for the things that we done At least for a little while sir me and her we had us some fun

so: he’s not sorry, and he sees it as having had some fun. now, usually people who murder even one person without wanting to have life-lasting trauma because of it, because I assure you, no one likes murdering people in general. just a thought. then again if you look up starkweather he seemed to think he was above the law and to have a fairly nihilistic worldview according to which *dead people are all on the same level* so we can assume that mr. starkweather had definitely issues that no one had noticed/most people would have overlooked in the year of the lord 1958 and that went untreated resulting in the murder spree.

anyway, they got caught as it was bound to happen, which then results in the next passage:

The jury brought in a guilty verdict and the judge he sentenced me to death Midnight in a prison storeroom with leather straps across my chest

now, bruce doesn’t really waste much time with the trial because even if we didn’t know shit about the story before we might have guessed that he’d be captured/sentenced the moment he said he killed a bunch of people, so what we know is that they sentenced him guilty and to death too, and when he says leather straps across my chest we also know it’s an electric chair even if he doesn’t have to say it, and then you also get the midnight in a prison storeroom visual that gives you an idea of something fairly sordid and carried out in a haste when no one can see for how horrid the entire situation is. the entire point isn’t even making you empathize with him because you’re not supposed to... but the entire picture it paints is supposed to make you feel really, really creeped out including being in the head of an actual mass murderer, which is usually not a place where you find people feeling sorry or re-elaborating their trauma tied to their actions, because this guy certainly has no trauma related to them nor feels sorry about it. which we can see for true in the next bit:

Sheriff when the man pulls that switch sir and snaps my poor head back You make sure my pretty baby is sittin' right there on my lap

as in: when he talks to the sheriff in extremely blank/flat terms about his own death (pulls the switch/snaps my poor head back, poor being the only thing that suggests us he actually has feelings about it) the only thing he wants (which cannot happen obviously) is that his pretty baby is sitting on his lap, which considering that starkweather was 19 and she was 14 when the entire thing went down makes the entire thing sound really fucking creepy as it should sound. but that is what he cares about. not the people he killed, not his guilt, not any consequences of what he might have done, just that his girlfriend is there to see him die - which isn’t a thing he gives much of a fuck about anyway. and at this point you're wondering, what’s the point. well, the final stanza is giving you the point, even if he could also not giving you any point and it would still hold up because that’s entirely it, the guy killed people because he could and because he was angry, not because there was a point.

They declared me unfit to live said into that great void my soul'd be hurled They wanted to know why I did what I did Well sir I guess there's just a meanness in this world.

aaaand now you get the whole actual Meaning Of The Thing thrown in your face in three lines which need a lot of unpacking, but in order: they declared me unfit to live has a not so slight implication that it’s wrong for someone to decide who’s fit to live or not... which then in turn is kind of ironic coming from someone who killed ten people because he could, but that doesn’t make it any less true that he’s operating in a system that declares people unfit to live... same as he did, so he’s most likely asking why they have the right to decide it and he doesn’t. then we add that they wanted to know why he did what he did, which is the crux - until now he just said he had fun and he felt like it. now, bruce springsteen has no idea of why starkweather did it because of course he never knew him and only researched the topic, and the movie obviously had its take on things but it’s a movie. so what he does? he provides an answer which is also a reference to flannery o’ connor’s story a good man is hard to find’s ending where a similar thing was said (guys honestly read that it’s an a+ short story you should)... as in: well, I guess there’s just a meanness in this world. he GUESSES, he doesn’t know. *well, sir* suggests an answer like he’s just shrugging and providing it because it just occurred to him, not that he thought about it. but then what’s the point? that the world is mean. and it sucks. and meanness exists and you can’t do anything about it, and he was mean same as the world he comes from and so he did something mean that will result in his soul being hurled into the void (but other people said it, not him, he most likely doesn’t even think his soul will survive the execution), but that’s it. there’s nothing else. there’s no reasoning, there’s no guilt, there’s nothing. just, there’s a meanness in this world. dot. and since the world is mean people do mean things such as kill innocent people, to whom mean things happen all the time, and you can’t do shit about it. and then the song is over and you’re left with a chill running down your spine and wondering, is it really just as bad as that?

but since the singer isn’t giving you any answer either way and he’s not sympathizing with the murderer nor is trying to make you sympathize with him, he’s just telling him like it is, you as in the listener have to put effort into it and do the math and decide for yourself if you want to agree with the fact that the world is inherently mean and it sucks and it inevitably will do it over and over again, or if you want things to be different. you can’t know either way. he’s not telling you to judge his murderer not to sympathize with him. he’s asking you to think about it.

hm. imagine that.

now, if only people actually followed that advice and thought about things including how narratives focusing on seventeen-year olds having to kill someone in order to save people after developing ptsd for two years are not meant for the reader to blame the seventeen-year old with ptsd but the system that fucked him over that much, that would be even better now, wouldn’t it? ;)

#bruce springsteen for ts #ch: jaime lannister #nebraska for ts #murder cw #death penalty cw #death cw #btw you're blocked too ;)#murder spree cw #charles starkweather for ts #serial murders cw #long post for ts #bruce meta

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nadziejastar · 5 years

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—In KH BbS, Master Xehanort's goal behind opening Kingdom Hearts was to "create a new world." But in this game, he says it is to "reset the world." Why the difference?

Nomura: What was revealed in this game was another piece of the truth: his goal was "this world is no longer any good, and we have to recreate it from scratch."

—We are interested in why Xehanort would come to such a conclusion.

Nomura: At first, I did want to use a next game to dig down into how Xehanort went from that simple boy playing the chess-like game to an admirer of the darkness. But, if I do that, then the Dark Seeker Chronicle wouldn't have ended with KH3 after all (laughs.) Some ideas had solidified to a degree, but it's shelved for now.

Definitely. He was handled horribly. Even the interviewer didn’t know why Xehanort acted the way he did. You know your story is messed up when the main villain’s motivations are a big question mark at the end, lol. He desperately needed a fleshed out backstory, just like Lea, Isa, and so many other characters.

The basic concept of Xehanort seemed to be summed up by the above quote. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if Nomura actually had that famous quote in mind while writing Xehanort’s character. It IS about darkness, after all. I feel kinda bad that Nomura gets bashed for how Xehanort was handled when that clearly was not his intention. People think he planned it that way. “Lol, silly Nomura”. But he said he wanted to explore Xehanort’s past.

— About the World of Darkness and such, you haven’t gone into detail. Could you possibly talk about some of these things? Does the beach at the beginning and end of KH II have some connection to the World of Darkness?

Presently there are 4 main untold stories to consider: “the period of the King’s absence”, “the period of Riku’s absence”, “Roxas’s time in Organization XIII” and “Xehanort’s past”. In this case, the story of “the period of the King’s absence” is set in the realm of darkness. I am examining a way to tell these 4 stories so I might be able to find a way to tell them soon. —Another Report KH2FM+

In fact, he had plans for this ever since KH2FM+. Now, he could have changed Xehanort’s final scenes to be more consistent with what the players actually saw: a relatively one-dimensional evil megalomaniac. But he chose to leave it the way it was---Xehanort was trying to bring about a world of light---because he considered it the “truth”, even if it made no sense to us players. He did that with the other Xehanorts, too.

To me, that speaks to his level of frustration over how the story was handled. I believe if Nomura had his way, he would have explored ALL the stuff from 0.5 in the next game, after KH3. But he wasn’t allowed to do that because the Dark Seeker Saga needed to be over with KH3. It was out of his hands. I’m glad he left it the way it was because it makes it easier to see his intentions for the story.

— Mr. Nomura, since you are the one that is writing the scenario this time, how is the progress coming along?

Since we are arriving near the conclusion of Xehanort in KINGDOM HEARTS III, the outline of the story has been solidified but not necessarily the direction where the KINGDOM HEARTS series is continuing to head. We are still trying to decide where to go from several choices.

— What is that specifically?

In the KINGDOM HEARTS series, I don’t think there has been an actual happy ending. KINGDOM HEARTS II is close to it. Since most of the titles have ended in cliffhangers, we’re worried about what we should include in KINGDOM HEARTS III. —Dengeki Playstation June 2015

When I would try to talk about some of this stuff on other forums people would get so defensive. Who was I to question Nomura’s vision, blah blah blah. But there’s so much evidence that KH3 did NOT actually follow Nomura’s vision. That is my biggest complaint. KH3 is a botched game with a troubled development history, that suffered from extensive executive meddling. Even as late as summer 2015, two years after the game was announced, they were unsure of the direction the series was headed. But Nomura wanted a true happy ending for the first time, without cliffhangers...

Can you tell us about the meaning of 0.2’s title, “Fragmentary Passage? As far as content goes, we can’t include a full volume of content to play with like the second chapter of KHBbS, so it’s just a “fragment,” and we left that part of the subtitle. 0.5 is one of the letters and numbers that appeared in the secret episode of KHBbS FM, and that meant full volume, so we decided on 0.2 this time, to indicate that there will be more content to come. However, the remaining passage will be told in KHIII, so we wanted to show that this production is closely related to KHIII. —Dengeki Playstation September 2015

And as late as September 2015, only a couple of months after saying that, Nomura said there were actual PLANS to incorporate the lost story of 0.5 into KH3, albeit in a condensed manner. Of course, we all know that didn’t happen. It appears there was a very last minute change of plans to just throw out all the unused concepts from 0.5 and rewrite the story to eliminate all connection to them.

That’s why the plot was switched to instead focus on sequel-baiting and Union X characters. Those things are mostly irrelevant to the Xehanort Saga, so it didn’t matter if KH0.5 was cancelled. But that wasn’t the original plan. This is why it is my sincere belief that Nomura was very upset with how the story of KH3 turned out. And I don’t blame him one bit.

“I actually don’t sympathize or empathize with Sora at all,” Nomura says. Instead, he relates to the game’s mysterious villains, Xehanort or likely Ansem, anyone who’s fallen prey to their dark natures. “I think I’m closer to those characters, so Sora is like my enemy,” he says.

I think Xehanort’s backstory was going to paint him in a very different light, otherwise he never would have gotten such a warm ending scene with Eraqus. Nomura said that he could relate more to a character like Xehanort than Sora, so I am led to believe he was going to be a character with many shades of gray. KH3 Sora was obnoxiously black-and-white, which is why I think Nomura disliked him so much. I also don’t think that was Nomura’s original vision.

Xehanort: So...you know the “Lost Masters”?

Eraqus: Who?

Xehanort: They’re the ones who started the Keyblade War.

Eraqus: Never heard of ‘em. Where’d you hear about that?

Xehanort: Or...they’re the ones for whom the war started.

Eraqus: I’m not following you.

Xehanort: You can drop the facade.

My opinion is that when Xehanort was young, he got involved with a secret society with access to knowledge that was kept from the general population. Stuff involving the Keyblade War, the Book of Prophecies, etc. Scala ad Caelum is very Freemason-y. The name Stairway to Heaven is a concept in Masonry. This was supposed to be an actual explorable world. There was a trailer shown off at a private event, that was never made public. But it actually showed Sora visiting this town. Of course, after the "alterations” made to KH3′s story, this town was eliminated and the trailer was never mentioned again. This town was tied to the Recusant’s Sigil and all the missing lore KH0.5 would have delved into, so I guess it wasn’t needed anymore.

Ansem: Take a look at this tiny place. To the heart seeking freedom this is a prison surrounded by water. And so this boy sought out to escape from his prison. He sought a way to cross over into other worlds. And he opened his heart to darkness.

Sora: Riku!

Ansem: Don’t bother. Your voice can no longer reach him where he is. His heart belongs again to darkness. All worlds begin in darkness, and all so end. The heart is no different.

After learning the hidden knowledge, he felt like he had to start the world anew. He became obsessed with darkness. We never even learned how Xehanort left Destiny Islands. My guess is that he had such a strong will and desire to leave the islands, he opened a dark corridor. He didn’t have anything to protect him. He just went into it and arrived at another world.

Our Master instructed us to don armor while traveling between worlds, so that we might shield ourselves from the darkness. But there, in the Lanes Between, I could feel the force of it—the power—and from then on, I forwent my armor's "protection." I had been told the darkness would devour me, but what terrors could it possibly hold, so long as I found the strength to control it?

The experience seems to have given him the confidence that he didn’t need protection from darkness.

At present, the lanes and corridors that run between the worlds may only be traversed by us Keyblade wielders, and those who have given themselves over to darkness. As the former, our duty is to cross the chasms between worlds and guard against the latter, whose darkness corrupts and contaminates, so that no world need ever be lost again. Few Keyblade wielders remain now; I have heard of but a handful of others outside my circle. But the World is vast, and more of our kind may be out there. Now, in addition to the realm of light in which we reside, there is also a realm of darkness, and the realm between which connects the two. The realm of darkness is most forbidden; I am told none who set foot there have ever returned.

He didn’t seem particularly evil as a kid or anything. Just very intelligent and cynical about the world. But he seemed charming and likable. Eraqus obviously had a great deal of affection for him, which blinded him from seeing his true motives until it was too late.

That’s where the whole story began…as did the glitches. And for good reason—because nothing ever happens by chance in our stories. Everything is connected. This is where someone else set off on a journey, too, long ago. Does this world feel small to you, Sora? Or does it feel large? Who will be the one to unravel the secrets of this world—of the Destiny Islands?

I’m sure he was possessed. We never even learned how Xehanort got golden eyes and pointy ears. Maybe Xehanort was simply the first vessel.

THE MAN’S BLACK CLOAK FLUTTERED BEHIND HIM as he marched forward.

The present, the past, the future.

Human, Heartless, Nobody.

Xehanort, Ansem, Xemnas.

His plans had already advanced past the point of no return.

With Demyx’s demise, the group calling itself Organization XIII had lost more than half of its members.

Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Marluxia, Larxene, Demyx. And Roxas.

All the fallen ones—do they bear a grudge against me?

But they were Nobodies. They had no hearts with which to hold any ill will. They couldn’t even understand what the heart is.

Nomura said there was something like a beacon inside Xehanort, guiding him where to go and what to do, even if he wasn’t quite sure of it himself.

Somewhere in this cyclical history of bequeathings, a chosen one will appear and reenact the Keyblade War. When this scapegoat arrives and takes my Keyblade in hand, this will be the time to take the stage and finish my role. The Lost Masters will awaken.—Unknown

I don’t know if the Lost Masters were always meant to return. But I definitely think Xehanort was always meant to be just a pawn in somebody else’s game.

“Students do take after their teachers. Any apprentice of yours would be a fool,” Xemnas sneered, then raised his eyes to the light of Kingdom Hearts. “After all, none of this would have happened without you. It was you who brought the Heartless into being. Your research inspired me to go further than you ever dared.”

You saved me when I wandered without memories—or rather, saved Xehanort, Xemnas added to himself.

If you hadn’t found me that day and helped me… If you hadn’t been studying the mysteries of the heart… Things would never have come to this.

Does that mean it was all inevitable? Or is someone’s will at work? A will greater than ours…?

This was the plan for a long time, because even the novels allude to it. It annoys me when people try to say the novels can’t be taken seriously. They wrote about Xemnas’s regret over his fallen comrades YEARS in advance. They were obviously written with knowledge of the whole story in mind.

It almost sounded like Xemnas was angry with Ansem for being the catalyst that started him on his path. He said he was past the point of no return, as if he was only continuing on with his plan because he couldn’t turn back even if he wanted to.

“I admit, my recklessness brought chaos to more worlds than one. But what is it you were seeking?” Ansem demanded. He was asking the shell of his former apprentice, though he might ask the same question of himself. “You erased me from this world only to take my name and continue research better left forgotten… And is this the answer you’ve been after?”

“Indeed. I am carrying on what you began, creating a new world brick by brick—heart by heart.”

But even as Xemnas said it, he wondered. Really? Is it really what I sought?

The inexorable pull of Kingdom Hearts, so strong that even he no longer understood what he’d first been seeking, and the longing for the heart he had lost… But what was a heart?

What I lost when I became a Nobody…I don’t even know what it is.

He didn’t even know what it was he was after.

He concentrated his frustration back on Ansem. “Once I thought I’d earn your praise. But all you’ve ever done is hold me back. I understand—unlike me, you have a heart. And you are powerless to control it. Consumed by your jealousy of the student who surpassed his teacher.”

Ansem sadly shook his head.

That young scientist who had once shown so much promise in the town of Radiant Garden—where had he gone? Was this what it meant to lose one’s heart? Or…had he never had one to begin with?

It’s...sad.

“Hey, do you fellas think that maybe the journal is trying to tell us something?” Goofy wondered. What exactly was going on with this little book?

Whatever Xehanort was being used by, it was heavily connected to the Demon Tide.

“The world is aching?” What exactly did “the world” refer to? Maybe it meant the world they were seeing on the monitor now was in pain. “Not just ‘the’ world. ‘Our’ world…” Jiminy seemed to have the same questions.

We never actually learned what was meant by the world’s aching. Who’s world?

“…Can’t you hear the world’s screams?”

“Screams?”

Axel finally turned around, and looked up at Saïx standing on a stairway.

“The time when we should move will come soon.”

“I dunno, whatever.” Axel turned his back on Saïx, and opened a dark portal in front of him.

Saïx could actually hear the world’s screams, probably because Isa was one of those people who needed their hurting mended. I’ll bet that Xehanort was one of those people as well.

Ansem the Wise: That light of the heart that everyone had when they were a child - simple, honest thoughts - that is the strength of a pure heart, in which Sora believes and cannot doubt. If someone feels a heart there, a heart exists. Even if a heart is lost, maybe it can once again be connected. Up to this point, he has felt, accepted, and saved many hearts. And now the many hearts that sleep within Sora’s heart have fallen into darkness, been stolen by darkness, sleep in darkness. The hearts dissolved in Sora – to save them, you must act as Sora has up until now, move forward as a heart in order to succeed. His thoughts are the only way. Or to be precise, what is within them.

If I had to guess how I think Xehanort’s plot would have been handled that was consistent with the Dark Seeker Saga’s themes, it would be this: After Xehanort was defeated, his heart was lost in the darkness. Maybe he couldn’t handle the pain of his defeat. Or maybe it was because he was possessed all along.

Ansem: You see, darkness is the heart’s true essence.

Sora: That’s not true! The heart may be weak. And sometimes it may even give in. But I’ve learned that deep down, there’s a light that never goes out!

Sora, a person who possesses an extraordinary degree of love for other people, actually decided to use the power of waking on him rather than just snatch the X-Blade from him and call it a day. He genuinely wanted to save him. Sora was able to believe that deep down, there was a light that never went out, even in someone as immersed in darkness as Xehanort.

Those simple and honest thoughts enabled Sora to connect with Xehanort’s heart, reminding him of what it felt like to love and be loved, like when he was a child. He was able to reunite with his beloved friend Eraqus, and decided to give Sora the X-Blade of his own free will. Not because of Sora’s amazing ability at persuasion. But because Sora showed him love. That is what made Ansem choose Sora in the first place.

#kh3 #kh xehanort #kh xemnas #KH Eraqus #kh

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hoyoungy · 6 years

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Stimulant | RM/Namjoon

genre: comedy, soulmate au, tattoo artist au | tattoo artist!namjoon x reader summary: with immense pain comes immense pleasure, and that was definitely the case when you could feel everything your accident-prone soulmate feels word count: 2722 a/n: i had a lot of fun writing this lol. warnings include swears, mentions of sex/masturbating, and that it’s a dialogue-heavy fic. as seen on my ao3

You hated your soulmate. You absolutely hated your soulmate, and you haven’t even met him yet.

You didn’t start feeling what he felt until recently. The very first thing you felt was a cut on your hand and you started to bleed. A memorable first impression, to say the least. Then you developed more cuts, some bruises, and even muscle soreness. You thought that maybe it was all completely normal. You thought that all of this pain came with the package of finding your soulmate. But when you asked around how long until the bruising disappears, your friends just looked at you like you were crazy.

It was then you realized that maybe your soulmate was either accident prone or a masochist.

Or maybe they were both.

You would go about your normal day being extremely cautious and prepared for all the pain you would have to endure. Sometimes you would wake up thinking that maybe today would be the day your soulmate wouldn’t hurt himself. Sometimes you even sympathized - or was it technically empathized? - because there were times you had to go see a doctor when the injuries were more severe, thinking to yourself honestly, fuck you for bringing me here, but I hope you’re all right, too.

The scarring and bruises weren’t even the worst part of all of this. No, the worst part about being able to feel what your soulmate feels was the random bursts of pleasure that made you go insane. It was fine when it was night time and you were in the comfort of your home - at least that way no one could see your blushing face. But when you felt it in the middle of the day while you were at work, getting lunch, or even just fucking grocery shopping, you had to run to the bathroom so your soulmate could finish.

This morning you had a, uh, pleasant start to your day. You woke up panting, sweating, and flustered, trying to come down from the euphoria your soulmate caused all too frequently.

“Is my soulmate a chronic sex addict? For God’s sake, it’s seven in the morning!” you muttered bitterly. A shower was necessary to wash away the shame you felt for your partner.

In the shower, you enjoyed the peace and serenity the warm water gave you. It was a peaceful ten minutes that you thoroughly enjoyed until it was ruined again only moments later.

“Ow! Fucking christ!” you screamed. You saw some redness forming on your hand from inflammation caused by something. From your previous knowledge, it looked like it was from a burn from cooking breakfast.

How incredibly annoying was it that you already knew the reason for the burn?

“I’ll show you a burn.” You turned the shower handle to the hot side of the spectrum and endured the 0.2 seconds of scalding water all over your body. The pain you felt was worth the satisfaction knowing your partner’s probably cursing you out right now.

Did that make you the sadist? Or did that make you both masochists?

It was a constant battle of stimulation between the two of you that you didn’t even know what was accidental and what was on purpose anymore other than the infinite shameless times he’s had sex. Maybe he thought the same about you, too. What if he thought you were the clumsy one and he was doing the exact same thing by hurting himself to get back at you?

Kind of fucked up, huh?

“Rough morning?” your roommate asks, raising her eyebrow at you. She probably guessed by the sour look on your face as you exited the bathroom.

“Woke up to my soulmate having sex again and a burn from when he was cooking. Who the fuck has the time and energy to fuck this early!?”

“You’d be surprised,” she smirks. “Maybe he’s not having sex, maybe he’s, you know.” She gestures to you a juvenile attempt at a hand job.

“Either way, it’s annoying and embarrassing, like does he not have any shame? I can’t remember a time where I’d go at least three days without having an orgasm because of him.”

“He’s just not embarrassed to touch himself like you are, obviously…”

“Shut up.”

She wasn’t wrong. You haven’t had sex nor have you touched yourself because honestly, you’d be thinking about your soulmate the entire time, and it was embarrassing.

“You need to relax and just do it, _____. You’ve been so irritable lately, it’s driving me insane.”

“I know, I’m sorry, ok. I’ve just been so preoccupied trying to find him for months, but I’ve had absolutely zero luck!”

“Maybe that’s why. You can’t just go out looking for someone with no leads. You have no idea what you’re looking for.”

“I don’t, and I’ve never felt so lost,” you pout. “But maybe I’ll find him after today.”

“Why, what do you have in mind?”

“He’s going to hate me so much after today that he’s bound to show up.”

The malicious smirk on your lips caused your roommate to take a step back from you. “You’re not gonna, like, fling yourself down the stairs so you’d go to the hospital, are you?”

“What, no,” you said. “I’m going to get a tattoo.”

“You’re a psychopath.”

“I am not! If anything, he’s the psychopath!”

“You two are meant for each other.”

“Honestly, that’s so sweet of you to say.”

“Ow, shit!” Namjoon curses. The oil from the pan pops and hits his hand, giving him a small burn.

Immediately, a running Jin snatches the chopsticks away and pushes him aside. “What did I say about cooking!?”

“But I’m hungry…”

“Just ask next time! Look, you’re not even cooking it correctly - you’re supposed to scrape the ice off the dumpling before you put it in the pan so the oil doesn’t pop. You’re also not supposed to use olive oil for frying.”

“Ohhh…”

“I feel sorry for your soulmate. How are you even alive and functioning?”

“Yeah, how have they not tracked you down to kill you yet?” Hoseok teases, pushing Namjoon further away from the stove.

“She’s probably smart enough to know that doing so would kill her, too,” Yoongi scoffs.

“Shut up - HOLY FFFFFF -”

Namjoon couldn’t finish his sentence as he hunched over on the floor feeling like he was on fire. He struggled to turn on the faucet to run cold water on his minor burns. His inked skin was flushed a painful pink.

“What happened…?” Jin asked with wide eyes.

“I think my soulmate burned me on purpose!”

“That’s what you get for being so careless. I’m surprised they haven’t done so earlier.”

“They have! Every time I hurt myself, they hurt themselves back so I can feel it. Can you believe that!? Who hurts their soulmate on purpose!?”

“Oh, I definitely would if you were my soulmate,” Yoongi said. “I’d be pissed if my partner was chronically accident prone.”

“You guys are great friends, you know,” Namjoon said sarcastically as he dried himself off.

“Thanks!” Jungkook chimes.

“I’m going to the shop.”

“What about your dumplings!?”

“Fuck ‘em, you eat it.”

“Don’t hurt yourself too much today!” Jin calls as Namjoon walks out the door.

“Welcome!” the receptionist at the tattoo shop greeted you. “How can I help you?”

“Do you accept walk-ins?” you ask.

“Yes, Namjoon is available once he’s ready - speak of the devil.”

The door chimed as it swung open. A very tall, very good-looking man walks through the door with disheveled hair and a grumpy expression that was all too similar to yours, but somehow made him unbelievably handsome. His expression melts as he sees you and shoots you a quick wink with a dimple-y smile as he passes you.

“He’ll be your artist today. Now, because you’re alone, I assume you haven’t met your soulmate yet?”

“I haven’t. Why do you ask?”

“Those who have met or feel their soulmate need to have a cosigner that states they consent to the feeling of getting a tattoo.”

“Really!?” you said a little too loudly.

“Yes, it’s the law. So have you felt your soulmate at all?”

“Uh, n-no,” you lied. “Not yet, surprisingly.”

“Ok, well, then you need to sign these forms that state that if you’re caught lying, we have the right to report you to the authorities.”

“R-Right,” you stutter, reading the forms thoroughly before risking hundreds of dollars in fines and possinly jail time.

“All right, then you’re all set! Namjoon will call you when he’s ready.”

You sit in the waiting area impatiently tapping your feet. Your nails dig crescents into the palms of your hand unapologetically, with you not worrying about if your soulmate could feel it. To be honest, you were completely terrified about getting your first tattoo. You thought about the design in your car for like, ten minutes and thought up a bullshit reason in case they asked.

It’s not like you were going to tell them you were getting a tattoo out of spite. How crazy would that make you look?

I mean, of course you were crazy, but you didn’t want anyone to know that.

“_____?” The man named Namjoon asked.

His arms were now exposed as he settled into the shop, showing you nearly a dozen or so on his sleeve. Even from far away, you could tell how intricate they were, telling you that it must’ve taken hours to complete each one. Your eyes widened, sympathizing with his soulmate, that poor person…

“Are you ready?” he asked you.

“Yeah,” you sigh, hesitation evident in your voice.

“Scared?”

You take a seat and watch him prep his needles and ink. Why were there so many tools…

“Y-Yeah,” you stutter. “Does it hurt…?”

“Oh, yeah, like a bitch,” he chuckles. “No matter how many tattoos I get, they all hurt as much as the last, although the very first one is unforgettable.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I’m just being honest! You’re here now, no use turning back, right?”

“I suppose… Has your soulmate ever felt any of those?”

Namjoon sits across from you and gives you another smile with his heart-stopping dimples. “No. I got these way before I even started to feel them. I haven’t gotten one since the day I started to feel.”

“How come?”

“Well, I haven’t met them yet. I’m also an extremely clumsy person, so they experience enough pain from me,” he chuckles. Man, did you definitely related to his soulmate all too well. “I could never ask them to go through with a tattoo if they’ve never had one yet.”

“That’s very considerate of you.”

“I suppose it is. It’s the least I can do.” Namjoon rolls his chair close enough for you to smell his intoxicating cologne. “So what am I drawing on you today?”

“Just an outline of a crescent moon.”

“Simple. I like it.”

“To be honest, I thought of the design in the car,” you said, scratching your arm nervously. “I just want to get the feeling out of the way before I meet - feel my soulmate.”

“That’s cute,” he chuckles again. “All right, this shouldn’t take longer than five minutes.”

He put on some nylon gloves and shaves the part of your arm where you want the tattoo. His hands are warm and comforting, easing your nervousness, although it quickly came back when he buzzes the needle.

“Oh, shit,” you whisper. Were you making a big mistake? Were you taking your pettiness too far?

No, you had every right to…

“Ready?” he asked.

“No.”

“Good enough. It’ll only hurt for a few minutes.”

When the needle touched your skin, you nearly blacked out.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” you screamed.

“Ow, fucking hell!” Namjoon screamed, too.

You both swung your heads to look at each other with wide eyes. At first you were extremely confused. The only reason Namjoon would be screaming in pain is if his soulmate was doing something reckless. Was it a coincidence that he felt pain as you were getting a tattoo? But then it clicked in your head that it was, in fact, you who was being the reckless soulmate.

“You!” you both said, pointing to each other accusingly.

“You’re my soulmate!? Are you fucking kidding me?” you sigh. “Boy, do I have a lot to say to you.”

“You have a lot to say to me!?” You look at him with a blank expression and your glad to see that he nods his head understandingly. “Ok, yeah, I probably do deserve a mouthful…”

“Yeah, you do.”

“But ~ you did just lie about not feeling your soulmate! I could report you!” You silently slump in your seat with a pout on your face. “But you’re really cute, so I won’t.”

“Normally, I’d be flattered, but I’m a bit angry at you at the moment.”

“All right, let me hear what you have to say about my clumsiness.”

You sighed, collecting all of your thoughts. “First of all, how?”

“It’s an innate gift I’ve been given.”

“Do you see all of my bruises?” You rolled up your pants to expose your purple shins. “And this cut?” You point to a healing scar on your cheek. “And this burn on my hand from this morning? What were you even making?”

“The, uh, dumplings had ice on them, so the oil sparked.”

“Frying ice, of course my soulmate would do that.”

“I’m not good in the kitchen, ok,” he frowns.

“Second question, do you have a girlfriend or significant other or enjoy frequent nights out in the town?”

He raises a curious brow at you and you try to suppress any current thoughts about his handsomeness that distract you from seeing him as anything other than irritating at the moment. “Are you making sure that I’m all yours?”

“No, I’m asking you why you have sex almost every day at the worst times.”

“Oh, that!” he said, bursting into a fit of laughter. How he was not even at least a little embarrassed amazed you. “Well, to make things clear, I don’t have a girlfriend, or significant other, or enjoy midnight reandezvous.”

“Then what the fuck are you doing - Oh…” You paused. If he didn’t do any of those, then that meant… The growing smirk on Namjoon’s face only confirms your assumption. “Really? You masturbate every day!?”

“Relax, it’s not every day. As you said, I do so almost every day.”

“Do you know how embarrassingly frustrating and also hilariously ironic it is when I’m picking up an eggplant at a grocery store and I can feel you doing your business?”

“But you like it, don’t you?” Namjoon leans his face close to yours. Close enough that you could feel his breath tickle your cheek. “Doesn’t it feel good?”

“Of course it feels good, it always does, but I like to plan my orgasms, thank you.”

“But that was the beauty of it, my dear. Knowing that as I’m touching myself, somewhere out there, you were enjoying it as much as I was. It’s intoxicating.” He licks his lips and suddenly your mind became hazy. “Didn’t you enjoy it this morning?”

“Yes,” you stated plainly, though blushing deeply.

“Of course you did. In fact, I can already feel that you’re aroused just by the mere thought of it,” he teased. “Imagine the euphoria we could feel together. It’d be twice as ecstatic, wouldn’t it?”

“If you’re that curious, let’s find out.”

“Wait, Really!?”

“After this tattoo.”

“I’ve been meaning to give you a mouthful about that, too,” he said. “How dare you hurt yourself on purpose just so I could feel it. Does that make you the sadist between the two of us?”

“You know, I’ve thought about it before, and I think me getting a tattoo done by you confirms it.”

“After all the pinching, shower burns, and nail-digging,” he paused, showing you the indented crescents on his palm. “I think so, too. Though of course, I will admit to being the fuel to the fire.”

“So long as you acknowledge it.”

“Let’s get this tattoo over with so we can get to the real fun, shall we?” he smirked.

“Can I get some lunch or dinner before that, at least? Where’s the chivalry?”

“How rude of me. I’ll need the energy, anyways, I skipped breakfast this morning.”

#bangtan bookclub #raplinenetwork #btswritersguild #hyunglinenetwork #namjoon #kim namjoon #bts namjoon #rm #bts rm #bts #bts imagines #bts scenarios #kpop #k-pop #soulmate #soulmate au

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thedogsled · 6 years

Text

13x04 as you’ve never heard it before: Trek vs. Wars

Both do it right. Both make some mistakes. Both have good intentions. Both are brought up in 13x04. Both have crazy ass fans who need to inform you how much superior one is than the other. But uh. I just find it amusing that in a season so far that has presented us with such duality, an episode that opens with a Star Wars reference throws in a Star Trek one as well just for consistency.

I’m going to touch on both because it’s fascinating to me, particularly as both references are so clearly bonded to Jack. And I know, I know. They’re obvious pop culture references, but there’s more underneath the surface to them if that’s all you know them as.

Okay, so I’ve seen people talking here and there about Anakin and Ahsoka. I didn’t watch Clone Wars (though it’s sitting on my shelf right here, oops), so I don’t actually know about Ahsoka, but obviously Anakin is a big deal.

I’ve seen meta comparing Jack’s potential arc to Luke’s and to Vader’s, but that’s because in a lot of ways their arcs are similar, it’s just that they have different outcomes. Luke, of course, has friends and family in his court, while Anakin is under the thumb of a master manipulator in Palpatine who essentially corrupts him because of his great potential power. There’s an easy line to draw there, of course, between Asmodeus and Palpatine. And so if you lean into the Anakin comparison, you have the following:

Anakin was not a child when he was taken in by Qui-Gon for training (I mean he was but by the standards of the Jedi Temple not really)

The Prophecy regarding Anakin said that he would bring balance to the Force (Ultimately he did, there were 2 Sith and 2 Jedi left)

The Jedi Council feared his power/influence and initially forbade his training

And then Anakin consequently lost all the people he cared about or who had faith in him, starting with Qui-Gon.

Which led to him being trained by Obi-Wan who was barely out of Padawan diapers and a bit of a rule breaker himself

And lets face it had a less than stellar upbringing too (But I guess the EU is no longer canon so w/e)

And don’t forget that Obi-Wan is pretty fucking depressed in general (He describes it as his fate to be sad) but he had just lost the person with which he had a profound bond

It’s no wonder Jack aspires to be more like Ahsoka. By Clone Wars Anakin - because of his skill and the lack of leadership experience of Obi-Wan - is a bit of a cocky dick. He endangers others. He’s arrogant, prideful, rageful, prone to outbursts of emotion and ultimately imperfect. The fact that he has such great power raises him above his peers, and those who train him begin to try to impede his process rather than give him - impetuous and unchallenged as he is - a position of wider influence. This leaves opportunity for Palpatine to prey on his feelings of how unfair this situation is. And ultimately? Anakin thinks he’s doing the right thing. He thinks he’s doing good because he’s been told it’s the right thing to do by someone he trusts.

"I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire."

Or paradise?

But Jack can be Luke too. The difference for Luke (just as it’s made clear in the scene of Jack in 13x04) is that he doesn’t want to become Anakin. Luke walks into that cave on Dagobah and in a nightmarish sequence this is the fear he’s presented with: that he and Vader have a great deal in common. (ftr he lops Vader’s head off and the mask explodes to reveal Luke’s face underneath) But it is this fear that allows Luke to choose his side.

This imo is a ray of hope for Jack. He knows what he wants to be: he wants to be good. He’s just not sure of what he’s feeling.

Which leads me to Spock.

Spock is also Jack. Now if you don’t know anything about Star Trek, you probably believe the hype: Spock is a green blooded alien freak from the planet Vulcan. He’s not. Spock is a half breed, half human and half Vulcan, and that’s why I’m going to compare him to Jack. That’s where these layers come from.

Vulcans breeding with humans is seen as a taboo, you see. It’s just not done. There’s all sorts of reasons for this (such as mating rituals) but among them is that Vulcans see humans as emotionally volatile (and unenlightened because of it). A half human child, therefore, is equally prone to this volatility. Spock attends Vulcan schools where he has disputes with other children and basically has to try twice as hard to BE Vulcan to prove that his human half doesn’t make him less than. This troubles his father, of course, because Sarek did fall in love with a human woman (two actually) and he loves and admires the humanity in his son. But Sarek - being wholly Vulcan - is never able to actually express this. Spock didn’t find out the true depth of his father’s feelings until he mindmelded with Picard in season 5 of TNG). Anyway, I’m wandering off topic.

The thing about Vulcans that is overlooked by haphazard pop culture references is that they do feel emotions. They feel them with deep intensity, but through societal pressure/meditation they’ve built a resilience to expressing them--a resilience that fractures every time their hormones go crazy. Spock struggles with his emotions because he has two conflicting halves to contend with, human volatile emotionality and Vulcan intensity with deliberate emotional repression. He is unemotional because he’s gone to pains to suppress it in the past, and identifying and empathizing/sympathizing with those emotions isn’t something his upbringing has trained him to do. Spock chooses to focus on his Vulcan side. As a consequence this half-Vulcan raised on Vulcan acts like a Vulcan because he doesn’t understand the emotions of the people around him, and is detached from something that a human upbringing could have taught him. Spock represents, therefore, an interesting example of duality because it is his choice which defines him:

Data: “As you examine your life, do you find you have missed your Humanity?" Spock: "I have no regrets." Data: "'No regrets.' That is a Human expression." Spock: "Yes. Fascinating."

(For those who don’t know Data’s story is more like Castiel’s, it’s a story about aspiring toward inachievable humanity)

(Author’s note: If you want an idea of how Vulcan culture works, it’s like imagine Toxic Masculinity: The Planet but instead of men being subtly forced to hide their vulnerability it’s generations of very long living, stubborn people being subtly forced to hide their emotions entirely. Nope, that still sounds like Earth)

So Jack is dumped in Dean and Sam’s world, fully grown, surrounded by all these emotions. He FEELS DEEPLY. He has strong and volatile emotions, just like Spock, that he has no understanding of how to demonstrate. Take, for example, that Jack went in to Mia and asked her to become his mother, the deep and intense emotion that motivated that arrangement. There is genuine emotion there, but Jack doesn’t know what to call it, how to identify with it, or if the feeling is good or bad (which is the greatest issue of all because he Does Not Want To Be Bad)--he only knows that it hurts. But what is he supposed to do with that hurt? Man up, maybe?

That Jack’s powers, therefore, are linked to his expressions of emotion is particularly interesting. Outbursts of emotion have been linked to power before in the show, and specifically parallels to Max Miller were brought up in this episode too. That’s no surprise. But Jack’s power is angelic in origin, so his being able to express it through emotion, which is arguably unangelic (though I have opinions on that, damn it) is a whole other kettle of cod.

Jack has been dumped in a world of emotion without the ability to empathize or sympathize. He’s trying, but it’s no surprise he’s having difficulty. Unlike Castiel who had years to begin to learn emotion long before he became human, Jack has been thrown in at the deep end, and it’s not helped at all that these tidepools of human grief are his window on that world because the one thing Sam and Dean aren’t being at the moment is emotionally consistent.

Anyway. I’d been staring at this gifset @elizabethrobertajones made and literally couldn’t put my inner trekkie to sleep. I’m sure this was meant to make more sense than it did originally, but it’s just my take on it. Both Anakin and Spock canonically experience strong emotions and both are taught by the institutions meant to train them that those emotions are dangerous. In Anakin’s case emotion helps him harness greater power. Both have to struggle with their duality, and both face prejudgement because of it. Ultimately despite their differences they both have to make a choice. Unfortunately for Jack, he has to deal with both aspects of his duality as a nephilim and whether his powers/emotions or possible lack of each make him good or evil.

Which leaves him struggling with one question: Who am I?

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seyaryminamoto · 7 years

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May I ask, why does Azula make you passionate? Not a lot of people has the capability to empathize (NOT sympathize) with the antagonists, or a lot don't have the power to share or sense clearly their thoughts and feelings (for many reasons) as they do with the protagonists. Most people are mersiless toward them, even if they were understandable.

Uh, well, if you want the very honest answer? I saw myself in her. But if you want an in-depth answer, click the Read More.

I didn’t mean to, no. I didn’t go looking for myself in her character, I was uneasy about her, even somewhat worried, in her first episodes. She had been characterized very deliberately as colder, more scheming, more efficient than her brother or Zhao, the only Fire Nation villains we knew so far. She hadn’t quite succeeded at anything yet, but there was no tantrum after her failures, no self-pitying act: she simply kept going relentlessly.

She wouldn’t stop at anything, and after watching her convince Mai so easily that her brother wasn’t worth trading over a king, it’s kind of natural to wonder if she’s really devoid of a conscience… No lie, though, it also reflects heavily on Mai that she agreed so easily. It especially looks like Mai has less of a conscience than Azula, since it’s her brother we’re talking about, and it doesn’t really look like she was scared of contradicting Azula: she had only ever complained about her family ever since she showed up on-screen. In short, I thought they were all weird and mean and morally incorrect! :’D

But I have had a penchant to grow interested in characters who are strong, who are driven to the ends of the earth. I used to think I favored tsundere-types of female characters back when I was in my anime-heavy phase, but soon enough I realized that wasn’t quite right: I was interested in female leaders instead, characters who were often tsundere because they bury their feelings deep down, because their main interests are professional, or academic… basically, they were ambitious people who sometimes went too far in dragging others into stuff they hadn’t signed up for (Ritsu Tainaka, Haruhi Suzumiya, Misaki Ayuzawa, Kyoko Mogami, Natsumi Tsujimoto, and so on…).

Basically, I’ve been appealed by characters who share Azula’s reckless determination, but when I approached Avatar I had also moved on mostly from anime, and I found myself, instead, writing an original story where my protagonist was a princess, hailing from a western nation she was supposed to rule one day. This princess was very determined, physically powerful to the point of being beyond human (then again, she was a literal descendant from gods :’D), with a terrible relationship with her family (in particular fighting with an older half-brother who wants to prove he’s more suitable for the throne than her). Said girl’s priority, first and foremost, is her nation, and she’s willing to go to whatever means she must in order to protect it (even resort to magic, which is frowned upon in her nation of warriors).

Now, after I exposed that character’s main traits to you, don’t you think there’s a few too many similarities with Azula? :’D yep, I thought so too as I continued watching ATLA. Tbh it freaked me out how similar they actually were, since I hadn’t watched the show or been influenced by it at all. I didn’t even know Azula existed!

Anyways! I’ve gone off the rails a bit, but back on track: why did I identify with Azula?

First off, I did start getting the feeling she was similar to those characters I loved, despite she was, obviously, meant to be a villain. But what REALLY did it for me?

It was the scene in Zuko Alone, when Iroh’s gifts arrive. Azula’s dear brother gets something mind-blowing while she gets something pathetic, generic, that someone assumed was going to please her because she’s a girl. Because girls like dolls, right?

Well, in my case, I got play make-up instead. I had a trauma with make-up since age 4, and if people had bothered knowing me, or even talking with my mom about me, they would have known that. They didn’t. It didn’t matter to them either way. Meanwhile, my brother’s gifts were incredible! :’D all sorts of action toys, new Hot Wheels, even remote-controlled cars. And when I wanted to play with them? I got a big ole’ NO from him, along with my parents telling me, often, that the toys were his and that I should let him play instead.

Heck, there was this one time he got this ship-in-a-bottle crafts as a present for his birthday from someone who worked at MY school. When I asked where was mine? Oh, there wasn’t one. My birthday was the day before my brother’s, the guy who made it worked at MY SCHOOL, but he would make a gift of the sort for my brother and not for me. I don’t remember if he even lied saying he’d make one, but fact of the matter is, I never got a handcrafted, special boat-in-a-bottle with my name on it. He did.

Let’s just say… when I saw Azula getting that disappointing doll while Zuko got the incredible knife, my jaw dropped. I literally dropped all my defenses against her along with my jaw, too. I saw that and damn, it put her character in a completely different perspective for me: it made her REAL, her experience with her brother resembled mine so much that I was in genuine shock. The salty “You’re not even good!” comment when he was playing with the knife, spoken with the intent to mask her interest in the weapon and her jealousy? The way she takes the knife later too, smirking and teasing her brother, yet letting him have it back because she knows it’s not supposed to be hers? Anon, I swear that was 100% the way I acted in countless similar situations. And I know, it may make me sound like a very bad sister (in Azula’s defense she’s actually a better sister than I am, in my brother’s defense he’s a better brother than Zuko could ever hope to be), but it’s still how it was.

From there onwards, a lot of my interest in Azula came from seeing how she suddenly stepped out of her “supreme villain overlord” role to prove she was really just a teenager like the rest of the cast. We’re talking about a girl who imitated her brother for shits and giggles, just to amuse herself at the expenses of a completely confused Aang. A girl who made a pun about the Avatar’s fangirls. Her sense of humor, no doubt, is kinda weird and not the sweetest? But she has one! It’s there, and no lie, I laughed my ass off with those two occasions at least.

Eventually, I just found myself more interested in her to the point of recklessly supporting her in the show. Yes, I knew the Gaang would win, and I didn’t mind, I liked them too! But I was slowly and surely loving Azula more with every passing episode, as she proved she was the one villain worth respecting in this entire franchise. And she was a fourteen-year-old girl with zero social skills, self-esteem issues to the ends of the earth, a turbulent relationship with her parents and her brother, and the frankly adorable wish to know if people might like her if they didn’t know she was a princess.

Another big selling point for me, as already stated, was her relationship with her brother. While my brother is a little less of a drag than Zuko can be (meaning, my brother can be happy once in a while :’D he even makes jokes… though seriously bad ones .__. maybe he shouldn’t make them...), their relationship was so similar to ours that it freaked me out. I’ve been competing with my siblings since forever, but when it came to outdoing my oldest sisters I seriously just couldn’t do it (honestly, no 3yo can expect to compete in regards of anything with a 10yo, or can she? :’D and yet I was such a pig-headed brat that I did it all the same). Meanwhile, my brother, only two years older than me, was an easier target to surpass, and I set myself on the task of doing that. Whenever he was better than me at anything, I ridiculed him (remember the knife scene?). Whenever I was better than him at anything, he would try to outdo me again and usually fail, then get annoyed and say it was a stupid thing anyways.

As we grew older, the conflict in our relationship grew a lot uglier in the sense that we didn’t really just snap at each other about toys now. I seriously got so pissed off by how entitled he was acting once that I locked myself up in the bathroom, punched a wall out of sheer frustration and damn near broke my hand in the process. No lie, that helped me vent my frustration real easily :’D

Basically, I’ve experienced the sibling relationship Azula did. My brother is far more popular than I am (well, in regards of people who live in our environment, at least), so everyone flocks to him, and when Azula’s friends betrayed her for Zuko, well… you can imagine how that stung for me :’D I’ve had friends who haven’t quite betrayed me for him or so, but they’ve stopped being my friends and become his, instead. How about that?

Anyways, Azula most likely wasn’t built up to be relatable, she was built to be a rounded character instead. There are more obviously relatable characters in the show, Katara is relatable for most the fandom, Toph is relatable for natural tomboys, and so on. But even then, none of these characters were built to be relatable. They were built to be real and believable, and in being built that way, they became relatable. And that’s what happened to me with Azula.

Honestly, I think I can’t really relate or empathize with Zuko a lot because of my own experiences too. I will judge him harder because yep, I’m biased :’D but I’m not trying to say he’s all bad and Azula is all good or anything. Truth be told, secret I’ve kept to myself for a long time… The finale depressed me for a day or two because I kept wondering if that was the only outcome for someone like Azula. Because in a sense, it looked like the show was saying that was kind of the outcome for someone like me. It felt like it was saying the world would judge me as impossible to save, while my brother got every success I could only dream of.

And... who knows? Maybe that’s what’s happening indeed. He’s certainly doing better than me these days. All I can safely say is I’m glad he is. Despite things were bad between us, they’re not so bad anymore. So if I’m to be left unsuccessful and he’s off to shoot for the stars, I’ll congratulate him instead of holding grudges about why he gets that and I don’t.

Anyways, the finale freaked me out, but I distanced myself from the character to a degree so I wouldn’t project on her so much. Still, the way her ending wrapped up bothered me, and I was very much unwilling to see her life end that way. As the comics have been building her up either for a very bad downfall or for a very long redemption that still is barely beginning, I lose my patience often as I keep wanting something better for her ASAP. Not a lot of positive stuff has happened yet to her… but that’s what fanfiction is for, for me. Ever since I opened FF.net’s ATLA archive, the first thing I did was search for Azula getting happy endings xD

And thus, that’s why I write her as I do and connect with her as I have. Azula seems to gather most the traits of characters I loved, but on top of that, she had an eerily similar sibling relationship to mine with my brother. A lot of my own eternal chase towards polishing and developing my talents came from a rather toxic place of thinking that having lots of skills was the only way I could be valid, somehow. I’m not exempt from self-esteem issues myself, see :’D

Anyways, I realize the majority of people won’t find Azula relatable, acceptable, likeable in any way. I don’t mind, I don’t really think it’s that odd, the show very obviously featured her as a problem that needed to be dealt with. But I’m not one to stick with supporting only the heroes in stories. Very often I’ve liked villains better, whether because they’re complex and worth exploring, as Azula is, or because they’re simply more interesting than their heroic counterparts. I guess I could have said this from the start and spared you the insanely lengthy insight into how my mind works, right? :’D

#anon #boy that got long #sorry about that @_@

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hanzi83 · 5 years

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Different topics: Self reflection, Pro WWE Stans, and Backlash of the XXXtentacion Joke

Blog

I am back for another blog. I keep thinking it will be the end, but due to not being able to jot down my personal thoughts I have had the need to at least put my mind frame out there so people can see where my mind is going. I am going to focus on certain things, I mean there will still be self loathing and self reflection with a mixture of other things on my mind because sometimes, as limited as my verbiage can be due to being a fucking scattered brain nut who can’t organize the thoughts in his head in a precise manner, and can’t figure out where my mind has been over the course of the last decade and that is the unfortunate thing about someone who followed the lead on how to think because I never knew how to think for myself, and I have fell for ignorant point of views or limited point of views and it has never left me satisfied.

Over the course of the last few years I have moved towards being more of a leftist person. I used to not be empathic or sympathetic towards others because I thought nihilism is such a cool and edgy thing for most of my existence, when being a nice person did not make me stand out and made people dislike me for being too much of a square, not realizing I was buying into a normalized right wing and centrist mentality because of the people who had platforms, who would be woke about certain behaviors and on certain issues, and it feels like with all the shit I have been through, trying to interview different people on my periscope sessions, and even talking to people with ignorant views, to see a better way, even if they seem like a Trump supporter, who still have minorities as friends etc, and I feel it is a challenge, because my mind is weak and it feels like if I am not embraced by leftist leaning people, who never really say anything when I am dealing with harassment, it seems more people who come across as peaceful centrists or right wings that they are embracing me, like “Look our side is embracing you, those leftists don’t care about you” and I feel like a certain point I might buckle, because I am a weak minded person, and I have always conformed with who I was around with the outlook, so I constantly deal with this harassment the more I try to put out a more peaceful message.

I am vehemently attacked for having a different outlook on groups fighting against oppression so the right wing government agents trolling me, are trying to paint me as a terrorist sympathizer, while they are the ones siding with the real systemic terror that is taking place. I am accused of hating all white people, when I have pointed out how people are buying into a systemic white supremacy and it is a big no-no. The people, who are supposed free speech advocates, are not for me expressing how people who think they are being edgy are not really being edgy. I have been blackballed from even being able to have a career when I have contributed many ideas that have been taken from me, and the specifics have never made me point it out, just the fact that I contributed. Maybe that was Stern Show tactic I fell for, because Stern was a huge influence to me and I always wanted to impress him, so when he would make fun of Stuttering John for keeping tabs on what joke he wrote and would have all sorts of papers he made light of that, and that is when I decided never to keep tab of what ideas and jokes were used by multiple people. The propaganda is so real, even if I explain my narrative, they will just say I was a crazy caller and nothing more, and then they will hint that I helped Stern make millions and I am owed money, and they will deny it is my incapability of finding a job and never disclose that they are keeping me censored. They fuck with my views and pump them up when it is convenient, to show these views on periscope, especially are not genuine. They constantly try to peace talk with me, and not disclose their views are leaning toward the right, so I don’t immediately shoo them away.

This is where it ties into wrestling because they love when I lose my mind. I have spoken out about WWE’s practices, and how I don’t like who runs the company etc, I still appreciate the people who work there and entertain the fans, but even rubbing it in my face I won’t be a part of the Summer festivities in Toronto is meant to make me lose my mind because I lost my mind when Mania festivities took place. Sometimes I wonder if this is all worth it, over the last few months I have not cared about pop culture news or television shows/movies etc to catch up on anything. Maybe I should not care, but it is literally everything we consume is run by some sort of evil. I am sure this computer I am typing on was probably put together by some sweatshop worker or something. It feels like the easiest mind frame to have does just not want to be here because I try to be socially conscious, but I am still using shit that is tied to evil shit, whether it is a tablet, or consuming from some fast food place or something. I lose my fucking mind and the possibility that people I know are also involved with shady things, even though I don’t fucking know, it fucks with me. \

So the wrestling stuff has really taken its toll because even though I believe a lot of the stuff outside the ring, even stuff involving media outlets is also like wrestling, maybe I am buying into it but ever since the introduction of AEW, which does have shadiness with its owners as well, to be fair, it seems like the pro WWE contingent have attack others like they are socially conscious, while never copping to the fact they might be taking WWE money to shill for them online, and because they call out Saudi Arabia, or calling out Hulk Hogan, they think they are doing their due diligence of being socially conscious, and will constantly show off WWE hiring minorities as the most socially conscious shit ever, while it is performative at its best. They accuse others of not keeping the same energy while also not keeping the same energy. Their points towards other companies and people are valid, but the fact they are acting like these new hip people and they are siding with WWE, it supposed to be this manufactured talk about race misogyny etc, while they are supporting the company who have systemically caused a lot of this shit as well. So when there are accounts dedicated to mocking Dave Meltzer, who I don’t agree with by the way on a lot of shit, and I have called him out as well, but since he is has been more on AEW side the harassment has taken another level, under the guise of criticism of his reports etc, there have been attacks on his family and his kids, and when he finally puts on his own board the name of the person doing it, which anyone can see, he is accused of doxing even though it was his first name. I wouldn’t have done it since it said in their terms that no one would do that, but these same shit disturbers are acting like the biggest victims, so much so that he put out the name himself on his own twitter, totally normal for someone to do when they fear their name is out there.

These same dudes who are performative about the outrage were the same ones attacking other people who don’t believe a company with shoddy morality and has had a huge track record of sweeping corruption within their own company under the rug, would actually being capable of exaggerating one of their employees, or independent contractors’ battle with cancer. Now it is genius if this was a lie or some sort of exaggeration because you present a severity of something like cancer, which is horrible to have, so now because people question it, they will have their shills attack anyone questioning it, and if it does end up that this was a lie, it shows how so many of these WWE shills and fan boys and girls, are propping their own experiences and this narrative of “HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THIS, THIS IS NOT A STORYLINE” the same fucking guy who grilled Brian Pillman’s wife on live television after her husband’s death so he could deflect blame on the company, the fact that he may have paid off people to get off Jimmy Snuka off a murder, or the infamous ring boy scandal, or how recently in the affidavit there was reports from Ashley Massaro being raped and it was covered up. “BUT THEY ARE A PUBLICLY TRADED COMPANY” Yeah because that has stopped other publicly traded companies from partaking in any shadiness or corruption.

These same people who care about the sanctity of cancer victims, they were the first ones who would pile on me and tell me to go kill myself, someone who has mental illness, and they had to secrecy of hiding their identities even though I know which people they were and I cannot prove it technically but people accusing Meltzer using his fan boys to defend him etc, are the same ones defending WWE and being a stan of a billion dollar company. I could be wrong about the Reigns stuff but everything to me in this system is manufactured in some way or another, whether it is staged or some other cause orchestrating. I don’t have all the facts, and that is true, but since you guys pit me as this guy who is in his mom’s basement and is a fucking loser, why would you be so threatened by some mentally ill asshole right? Obviously I struck a chord with you guys if you are encouraging me to kill myself, and then acting like you are not doing at behest of a billion dollar company, or some popular radio host who can never be called out.

The last thing I will say and I am in a hurry. There seems to be this controversy of XXXtentacion joke by some comedian. I have many thoughts of this. People are outraged because she made a joke about someone, who on his time on earth was not the best human being and did horrible things, so she made a joke that his death of getting killed and robbed would be commercial for why you should get Venmo. The joke was not the greatest, even though I feel she has every right to do that joke, comedians should be allowed to try something out without the fear of getting people to threaten her and dox her. Part of me feels, as much I agree with any comedian being able to try to do their jokes and apply their craft, that there is a contingent of right wing comedians who hide behind free speech etc, but they will censor anyone’s else’s free speech under the guise of getting their fan base to threaten other women, but are for this woman’s joke who mocked XXX’s death. Comedians act like their craft is some pure art and never call out the government agents and undercover law enforcement supporters in their own shit. Only time you see these “edgy” comedians call out someone, is when it is someone being “Too PC’ but never call their own side’s bullshit and act like they are the fighters of free speech, while still being prostituted by the right wing side, which has always had a part in the comedy world. Ill see supposed conspiracy theorist comedians, who will put out shit as fact, and I have put out theories, and always state I never know for a fact, but these people will put out that Drake and other rappers sacrificed XXX like it is a fact and that is more dangerous than getting backlash for a fucking joke. It feels like these things are created, maybe both sides are in on it, but it serves its agendas, because the cultists of XXX’s will have a field day and then the ones fighting back have a new angle of a comedian being the fucking victim. These same comedians would not approve of me calling out how comedians are compromised, and not with the jokes they tell, but when they do their podcasts or radio shows, and are being 100 percent serious will advocate for death of minorities and intellectualize it.

I never seen anyone in comedy ever call out how comedy shows like Stern Show or O&A helped start the alt right, and even though these shows were hilarious and there was satirizing of racism, misogyny, and homophobia etc but when they spoke out seriously about things they were spreading nonstop propaganda, and acting like the side they were fighting for is completely freedom, while constantly tying corporate nature with people speaking out against the systemic evils, even if it was limited, like they were not doing the same thing but on a much more edgier level. You don’t see any of these free speech comedians ever call out people like Stern for blackballing me from comedy and not letting me have a more progressive message or maybe explaining how there are initiations about how people have to partake in propaganda to make it, no one wants to hear that shit, so they will limit the messages on either side. No one will pay attention to this anyways, because I will be lumped in with every blogger who is censoring comedy, even though I want comedy to be free, and this supposed presentation of “what comedy is supposed to be” is also prostituted and no one will ever dare point it out and it will just be seen with different cliques and more limited narratives.

So there is my fucking piece. It was shitty and no one should respect me. I hope someday I am out of this world so I never have to endure the pretentiousness and maybe I won’t feel the need to give into this bullshit because my mind does weaken and sometimes I wish I did sell out because it looks so appealing to be celebrated and be able to have connections, but I isolated myself and am not capable of fully trusting another fucking human being. I will always be miserable, and even though I used to think it was cool to be miserable, and self centered, because that was seen as the ultimate “I don’t give a fuck” thing, I realized it was propaganda, but it might be too late for me because my mind has been poisoned for so long, that my mind could be persuaded into this shit. It is what scares me, and for the good of this planet, I would beg people to just rid me off here because it is becoming too much for my fucked up brain to handle.

Let me clarify though, every comedian has a right to try out dark material, it might not land well, but sometimes it feels like these situations are meant to cause a reaction because it is the new marketing, and I don’t think that XXX deserved to die, being shot at 20 year old is horrible and I do personally believe that someone could have changed if the right people had got to him, and I always feel like people in the industry who do horrible things is part of some initiation, and for some rappers it is always meant to put them in violent situations etc, but no one ever wants to discuss that, so maybe XXX was changing his life and the problematic behavior, but people have to keep in mind that people don’t also have to like what he did, and the ones who have a problem with that joke maybe get on your platforms and discuss why people in the industry do shitty things, like these corporations don’t design it this way, but we can’t prove any of that right? I just had layered thoughts of this whole situation, and people will accuse me of not being for free speech of comedy. I believe comedians should be able to tell their jokes etc. It would not even shock me some of the people threatening to dox and kill this female comedian, weren’t also some right wing types making it seem far more dangerous than what it was. I could be wrong but I question everything and everyone. Everyone has a fucking agenda. These same people who defend Louie, also act like people going after Louie are the ones who have the agenda, but acting like your defense of him is just for the art of comedy, not like you are being given incentive to defend him. It is also funny that the people who were embracing him when he was more socially conscious, never once mentioned how Louie came from being a well off privileged dude, and was not this everyday working man, it is funny how that happens to come out after all of this, kind of like it is like wrestling and it was time to turn Louie heel now. Just my thoughts.

#Hanzi 2019 Howard Stern Show Illuminati Wrewstling WWE AEW Dave Meltzer Comedy Louie XXX XXXtentacion government propaganda self reflection #alt right leftist weak minded organized thoughts initiations miserable nihilism trolls harassment suicidal

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understandingthevoices · 6 years

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I think you should write out your feelings. That way you can get some sort of closure for him cutting out the relationship "cold turkey" I wonder if I run into a tumblr of a man who walked away, maybe it is also him detailing his end as well. But yes hun, you should write out your feelings for closure - H

haha i know you mean well but the truth is - i have processed the end, and i’ve gotten over my need for closure. at this point, i’m not angry or bitter -i just wanna just give advice to those in similar situations…. because from experience, ik its really ez to lose yourself with these kinda people

there’s rly not much more to it other than I let someone in that I shouldn’t have, because he pretended to be someone he really wasn’t - he’s just a snake 🐍 🐍 🐍 and it sucks because i rly was in love with the mask he put on for me but I guess at some point he had to take it off and put on a new one — instead of figuring out why he needed a mask in the first place;;

i just thought with enough love / understanding / patience / encouragement, we could work on it together and he would feel comfortable being himself around me,,, but obviously he had no desire to do that…….. even if it meant losing me LOL

i tried rly hard to sympathize and empathize because I can’t imagine how much hurt someone had to go thru in their childhood to develop such a selfish and self centered view on life but in the end I realized he wasn’t interested in meeting me halfway - or even at all LOL so I stopped caring and started respecting myself and my needs the way I should have initially

and it turns out that empathy and attention is what he thrived on - and once I stopped giving it to him he left and my life became a whole less toxic — and he just moved on to the next gullible empath he found lmao; being with a narcissist is so draining because thinking you can help them FEEDS them and gives them POWER over you, which they of course love so walking away and focusing on you is the very best thing you can do for yourself, even if its the last thing you wanna do

and it’s amazing; once they realize you really don’t care about meeting their needs anymore and start to put your needs above theirs - uh the healthy thing to do, btw - they just disappear lololol it’s like magic

but yeah i no longer have any desire to change a man / wait for him to be better ever again - if they meet me when they’re an evolved human being (or as evolved as i am) that’s lit otherwise I tell them to stay away

bUT all in all as much as it hurt I think it was incredibly important for my personal growth and development to go through something like that

I finally learned to stand up formyself and put my needs above everything else … i learned I could walk away from someone I was convinced I was my soulmate and still be okay, and above all I learned never to tolerate disrespect in any of my relationships - romantic or otherwise, and to live for myself ….. without worrying about pleasing anyone else or walking on eggshells lest I upset anyone ;; (side note it actually gave me the courage to take a break from med school to pursue philosophy, cuz I realized I can’t be fulfilled unless I’m doing what I wanna do, rather than what society expects me to do)

because as it turns out, someone that you thought got you thru thick and thin could actually be the one wielding the knife in the end

I do wish he wasn’t the first person I let in because for a long time I was scared that I might actually be unloveable if the one person (besides my fam) that had loved me just ended up walking away without so much as a second thought or desire to work on things - but now I know better; it doesn’t have anything to do with me - but rather his own demons and fears which were just v toxic

live and learn, oui ?

((all good things come in threes so i had to make this one a long one - but i promise im done with the essays haha ))- R

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