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mrsbuckybarnes1917 · 17 hours

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9: NEW DAWN

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You and Bucky deal with the fallout of the undercover mission.

Word count 3.3k

Warnings: reader coming to terms with Bucky's decision, trying to move forwards, betrayal, more miscommunication, anger, Bucky Barnes acting like a giant tool, Daisy Johnson and Melinda May make an appearance

The next morning you woke early, determined to carry out your plan. Slipping out of the compound, you drove out of the parking garage in one of the convertibles with the top down and wind blowing through your hair. It was freezing cold and you knew it was reckless because it looked like the heavens would open at any minute, but you didn’t care. You arrived at Coulson Academy just as several large raindrops started to fall, and you sniffed slightly from the cold air. Putting the top up, you got out of the car and ran for shelter under the large awning of the Academy entrance.

"Ugh!" You stopped to flick off the water from your jacket.

"Subtle entrance." Melinda May’s voice startled you.

You jumped out of your skin. "Jeez, May! Why do you always have to lurk around?"

"Wasn’t lurking. Just waiting for you."

"How did you know I was coming?"

"I heard about what happened."

"Steve?" you asked.

"Romanoff."

Of course it had been Nat. She knew everything that happened, she knew exactly what you would do. Maybe you ought to have talked to her before leaving.

"Why didn’t you stop me?" you asked.

"Because I knew you needed to make this decision on your own," May replied calmly. "And I knew you would come here eventually."

You sighed, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. "I don’t know if I’m making the right choice."

May placed a hand on your shoulder. "There is no right choice here. You need to take care of yourself for once, instead of putting everyone else’s needs before yours. Teaching at the Academy is something you would be good at. You have so much to offer, and… I believe in you."

You looked up at her, grateful for her support. She wasn’t one for heart to heart conversations, preferring to ignore her emotions altogether. "Thank you, May. I just wish it didn’t have to end this way with Bucky."

May gave you a knowing look, she knew exactly how you felt without you having to explain it to her. "Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. You have a bright future ahead of you, and I'll be there to help you every step of the way."

"Can I stay with you for a while?"

May rolled her eyes, "fine."

You wrapped your arms around her in a quick hug. "You’re the best. I love you."

Natasha was waiting for you when you returned, lounging across the hood of one of the Porches, filing her nails.

"Tony won’t be best pleased if he sees you like that."

"I’m not too worried about Tony. I have more important things on my mind."

"Yeah?" you asked, knowing full well where the conversation was going.

"What happened last night?"

"Didn’t Steve tell you?"

"Rogers?" she scoffed. "He has no idea what he’s talking about half the time."

You looked around for signs of anyone nearby. The risk of having someone overhear your conversation was making you feel very uncomfortable. Natasha pulled you into a secluded corner with a view of the rest of the garage and gave you a very pointed look requesting that you spilled the beans. But somehow the words you wanted to choose made the problem seem trivial. So instead of telling her about all the events that had transpired, you kept it simple.

"He chose her. Apparently there isn't enough room in his life for both of us," you shrugged.

"Steve told me what she did." Your gaze snapped to Nat’s face, but her returning expression was angry. "I don’t understand why you didn’t tell him."

"It’s my word against hers, Nat. I have no proof that she took my idea. What am I supposed to say? His reaction last night proves that he doesn’t trust me." You sighed dismally.

"Do you need me to beat some sense into him?"

You smiled sadly at your friend.

"Sweetie, you need to tell him how you feel," she continued.

"I think it’s too late for that. I’ve made my decision."

"I can’t do anything to change your mind?"

"Please Nat," you pleaded. "This is hard enough."

She put her arms around your neck, leaning her forehead against yours. "But I’ll miss you."

"I’ll miss you too." You wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling her into a tight hug, trying not to let the tears start falling again. Eventually you pulled away, steeling yourself for the next step; telling Steve and Tony about your resignation.

As you made your way back into the compound, you caught sight of your best friend in the gym. He was pummeling a punching bag like he wanted to murder it.

You gathered every ounce of courage within you and approached Bucky, desperate to reconcile and recapture the bond you once shared. But as you reached out to touch his arm, he recoiled, his eyes blazing with a mixture of anger and hurt.

"Bucky, please. I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way-"

"I thought I knew you, but I feel like I don’t know you anymore," he said, his voice laced with sorrow. "I know how you feel about Priya-"

"Buck-"

"I can see it in your face. But I never thought you could be so spiteful."

Your heart, already shattered, fractured further still, and the tears you had held back cascaded down your cheeks. Your friendship, once unbreakable, seemed irretrievable. Bucky turned his back on you, leaving you broken, lost in a sea of regret and longing.

After drying your tears, you found Tony and Steve in the common area, deep in conversation. Taking a breath, you approached them, your voice steady but filled with emotion. "Tony, Steve, I need to talk to you both."

Tony looked up, concern etched on his face. "What's wrong, Cricket?"

You hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I... I need to resign from the Avengers."

Tony's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why?"

You took a moment to gather your thoughts before explaining. "I could make up some logistical excuse but you'll both know it's a lie. It's... it's because of Bucky. I can't continue to work alongside him knowing how I feel and knowing that he's with someone else. It's too painful for me."

Tony and Steve exchanged a knowing look before Steve spoke up. "We understand Cricket. We've seen how hard this has been for you. But are you sure this is what you want?"

You nodded, tears threatening to spill over. "I can't stay here and pretend everything is okay when it's not. I need to take a step back and figure things out."

Steve placed a comforting hand on your shoulder but he looked like he was at a loss for words. So he took the professional route of comfort. "You're a valuable member of the team."

"Stay, we can find you another partner." Tony stood up, coming over to you. "I can’t just let you go without a fight."

You smiled weakly, grateful for their understanding. "Thank you, Steve. And thank you, Tony. But I just need some time to myself."

As you turned to leave, Tony called out to you. "Hey Sport, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to reach out. We're here for you."

You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. It was time to focus on yourself and your own happiness, even if it meant leaving behind the life you had known as an Avenger. And maybe, just maybe, you would find a way to move on from Bucky and find your own path to happiness.

You'd barely taken three steps out of the common room before Steve caught up with you. "Have you spoken to him?"

"If you call ‘him telling me he doesn't even know who I am and then storming off’ speaking, then yes. I don't understand how this happened, Steve. I thought nothing could get between us."

"He loves you." Steve stopped in front of you.

"Not anymore. He hates me."

Steve couldn't help but feel frustrated by how his two best friends could be so oblivious.

"Look Steve, I'm sorry, I know Bucky’s your best friend. You don't need to hear me bad mouthing him." You stepped around him, making your way back to your room.

"Cricket, you're my friend too." Steve chased after you.

"Then will you help me pack?"

Steve sighed, he would never refuse anyone’s request for help. "Of course."

It hadn’t taken you long to pack your things into boxes. Your clothes weren’t difficult to shove into suitcases. Your wardrobe wasn’t extensive, having learned to live out of small spaces for many years, material things weren’t quite on your list of necessities. You had let Tony decorate your walls to his taste and you’d been pleasantly surprised at how good he was at guessing your tastes. However, you’d decided not to take these things with you when you left. It was time for you to make your own home. It was going to be a new challenge, you’d been involved with large institutions ever since you’d left home, and had never had to create a home for yourself before.

You turned to face Steve, Sam, and Nat, who were all standing in your room, looking at you with concern in their eyes.

"Come on, sugar cakes. Isn’t there any way we can convince you to stay?" Sam asked.

"I appreciate the sentiment, guys, but I need to do this," you said, zipping up your suitcase.

"Cricket, you’re too valuable a member of the team," Steve said, stepping forward.

"You know that’s just not true, but thank you for saying that. But I just can’t stay here knowing that Bucky’s mad at me," you replied, feeling a sting in your chest at the thought of leaving your best friend behind.

"Bucky will come around, he always does," Sam chimed in, trying to reassure you.

"I don’t think so, not this time. He’s really upset with me," you said, feeling tears welling up in your eyes.

Nat walked over to you and put a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Cricket, you can’t just leave because of this. You’re stronger than that."

You shook your head, wiping away a tear. "I can’t stay here, Nat. It’s too painful."

"We understand, but we don’t want you to go," Steve said, his voice filled with emotion.

"I know, but I have to do this. Please, don’t tell Bucky I’m leaving. I need to do this on my own terms," you pleaded, wondering if Bucky would even notice your absence.

The three of them exchanged a look before nodding in agreement. "Okay, we won’t tell him. But promise us you’ll keep in touch," Sam said.

You nodded, feeling grateful for their understanding. "I promise. Thank you, guys. I’ll miss you all."

You were the last to leave your room, the others had carried your things to the van you were borrowing from the garage. You sighed, you would miss the luxury and convenience that came with being a member of the Avengers Initiative. There were only a few things left in your room; the wolf plushie Steve had won you at Coney Island, you later realized that it reminded you of Bucky, and the still wrapped gift you had bought for Bucky, the card you’d written him still stuck to the top. There was no reason to take those things with you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to throw them away. You decided to leave them on your bed. The next owner of the room could decide what to do with them.

On your way out, you ambled past the hangar bay, spotting Bucky in full tactical gear prepping for a mission. You had no idea that he had been assigned to something.

"You have a mission?" you blurted out, causing Bucky to turn to you.

"Yes." His voice was monosyllabic.

"Alone?"

"No."

"No, with me." Sharon materialized suddenly.

"Oh, hey Sharon. I hope you guys are safe out there."

Bucky looked back at you, a fleeting look of regret crossed his face, before he turned and walked away. He didn’t waste any time requesting a new partner, you thought. Just when you thought he couldn’t hurt you anymore. At least he would be safe with her; Sharon was a good agent, she would watch his back, that’s what mattered the most.

As you walked out of the compound, you felt a mix of sadness and relief. It was time to start a new chapter in your life, even if it meant leaving behind the Avengers and the man you loved. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but you were determined to make it work. And maybe, just maybe, one day Bucky would understand why you had to go.

Your friend, Daisy Johnson stopped by for a visit just after you had moved into your new apartment. You hadn’t seen her for a few years, since she had decided to travel the stars with her sister, Kora and now boyfriend, Daniel Sousa. She had insisted on coming over to your place, since May had insisted that you find your independence.

"So tell me, what’s the deal with your love life?" Daisy enquired after her third glass of wine.

"What love life?" you asked, sarcastically.

She laughed, "oh come on! You’ve been living in a building with all those Avengers! You can’t tell me that it’s all completely innocent!"

"Hey, just because you fell in love with your first S.O.!"

"Ouch! That’s a low blow! It’s not my fault Ward turned out to be a HYDRA psychopath!"

"No, he was out of this world."

"Literally!"

Both of you laughed, despite the pain that was associated with the memories of the parasitic inhuman who had infested and possessed the corpse of your dead traitorous colleague and used his body to control other inhumans. Sometimes there was nothing else to do but laugh.

"So, are you telling me that you haven’t gotten any sex since you moved in there?"

You shrugged.

"Not even Bucky Barnes? Like have you seen him?" Daisy had always expressed her attraction to your favorite super soldier, but she stopped as she noticed the change in your expression. "What is it? Did something happen with him?"

"No," you shook your head.

"Then why did you leave?"

You shrugged.

"Come on, spill. May wouldn’t tell me. But it’s got something to do with him, right?" Daisy scrutinized your face, coming to sit beside you. "Did he hurt yo-?"

"NO!" you responded before she had the chance to finish. "Not like that."

"But he did something."

"Bucky’s my best friend." You said, not being able to muster enough enthusiasm into your words for them to be believable.

"But?"

"We just clicked, you know? Right from the start. It was like we were made to be partners. We could share everything with each other, we knew what the other person was going to do in the field without even discussing it. But outside of that too, I felt like I could share anything with him. I even told him about…"

You didn’t have to explain yourself further, Daisy Johnson was the only other living person in the world who knew about the sexual abuse you had suffered as a teen. You had never told a soul when you had been an adolescent, fearing that you wouldn’t be believed, which had led to a lifetime of shame and a stigma of being seen as broken. But secrets often come out, whether you want them to or not. And during a mission, the man who had been responsible for your trauma was involved. Eventually your secrets had surfaced, no matter how deep you buried them, but Daisy had been there for you.

"But I thought there might be something more between us, something… as hard as I tried… I couldn't deny - I was… am in love with him."

"You are?"

"I never told him how I felt. I was afraid of ruining our friendship. But it feels like fate had other plans and he started dating Priya. I was happy for him, of course, but deep down, I couldn't help but feel … jealous.

"And as his relationship with Priya went on, I just found myself feeling more and more envious. I couldn't stand the thought of someone else being with him, especially when I knew how I felt. But I kept my feelings to myself, not wanting to cause any trouble." You sighed.

"What changed? What made you leave?"

"Bucky's birthday. I spent weeks planning the perfect gift for him, something that would show him how much he meant to me. But before I could give it to him, Priya just swooped in and stole my idea, presenting it to Bucky as if she had come up with it on her own.

"Bucky was thrilled with the gift, but when he turned to me expecting something from me, I- I didn’t know what to do. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that Priya had taken my idea, so I stayed silent. Daisy, he was so angry and hurt, thinking that I didn't care enough about him to get him a gift.

"In the end, he chose Priya over me, believing that she cared for him more. He said he loved her based on something I came up with! And I tried to apologize and explain, but he didn't … doesn’t want to hear it. He said felt like he never knew me, like our friendship had been a lie. Now he doesn’t even want me in his life!"

Daisy put her arms around your neck, pulling your head onto her shoulder. The wine had loosened your tongue and talking through what had happened was helping you to truly understand what had happened.

"I can’t believe this bitch!" Daisy muttered in your ear. "Want me to quake her for you?"

You let out a watery chuckle. "I just feel so alone. I know that it’s my own doing, I could have told him how I felt. I could hardly blame her at first, she had no idea. But now…I fucking hate Priya for coming between us, for stealing my chance at happiness with Bucky." You scoffed at your own words. "You know, deep down, I knew that it was my own fear and jealousy that had drove us apart in the first place. I let my feelings get in the way of our friendship, and now I’ve lost the one person who means the world to me." Talking to Daisy had given you time to take stock and really process what you had lost.

"So what’re you going to do now?" Daisy asked.

"What am I supposed to do, Daisy?"

"Let him cool off and try again!"

"And say what exactly? Take me back as your friend? I’m in love with you? He clearly doesn’t feel the same way, so what am I achieving other than getting hurt watching him being happy with someone else?"

"You could come with me, Kora and Daniel. We’re heading back off-world next week."

"And watch you and Daniel making those lovey-dovey faces at each other all day? Thanks, but I think I’ll pass."

"So you’re just going to teach? With May?"

"Yeah," you shrugged. "Teach and wallow about my sad, loveless life."

"You know I love you, right?" Daisy pouted at you.

You laughed, "yeah, I love you too."

Once Daisy left, you continued to think about Bucky. You missed the easy camaraderie you once shared with him, the way you could finish each other’s sentences and laugh until your sides hurt. But now, there was a distance between you that seemed insurmountable. Bucky had made his choice and you were left to pick up the shattered pieces of your friendship. You wondered if he ever truly understood how much you cared for him, how much he meant to you.

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#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fan fiction #my best friend's girl

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 days

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AITA for having a mental breakdown over my extremely close friend (accidentally) posting (what I thought was) radfem propaganda?

(🧵🎤for finding later)

It’s a very long story and I’m gonna have so many mixed opinions on this, so buckle up broskies.

I(X, minor) had met 👑(F, at least 4 years older than me) 2 months ago after a close friend of her was exposed as a pedophile. Coincidentally, that same pedophile had spread lies about me being a sociopathic asshole a few months ago, so me and 👑 grew extremely close because of both the aforementioned pedo and also because we shared a favorite manga, and we quickly started talking everyday about our favorite characters from the manga.

Due to our close friendship, I educated 👑 about BPD (a disorder I myself have, this is important), genderfluidity, and radical feminism. And apparently, I should’ve educated 👑 a little more about radical feminism.

Also due to our close friendship, 👑 opened up to me about a traumatic experience she had with her stepdad. This triggered me slight flashbacks to an extremely nasty and messy fight I had with an ex last year, but I didn’t want to seem like I was victim blaming, so I kept my mouth shut.

2~ weeks ago, 👑 posted about the “Man or Bear” question, and chose bear. She also brought up the traumatic experience her stepdad inflicted on her in the tags.

(I personally believe the “Man or Bear” question is radfem propaganda because when women choose bear, they always bring up a traumatic experience a man inflicted on them in some way. To me this sounds like they are saying that all men are misogynists that want to see women suffer, which is obviously not the case.)

When I saw the post, I was quite pissed. Eventually, I saw it another time, and I started having a meltdown. I was actually crying, impulsively vagueposting about her and the post, and eventually when I had to go to sleep I angrily messaged 👑 telling her about the mental breakdown accompanied by a middle finger emoji.

When I woke up and checked my notifications, I saw that 👑 had messaged me 4 times saying she’s sorry, that she didn’t mean ill towards men and that she had deleted the post (which she did, but that did barely anything to comfort me). I, still extremely pissed at 👑, told her about how pissed I was, that I trusted her but now I can’t, and that she should fuck off. 👑 replied by asking if there was anything she could do to regain my trust, so I, in the mood to just make it known that I was extremely pissed, told 👑 to go harass a radfem. And she did.

Later that day, me and 👑 had an important conversation about what had happened. I explained to her that I was holding a grudge against her since she told me about her trauma because it reminded me of the fight between me and my ex, and that I thought she was slowly making her trauma her personality. She understood, and she apologized.

Me and 👑 are now in much better terms, but I am extremely scared that I ruined her opinion on me and that she dislikes me now because she’s an extremely close friend of mine and I had opened up to her about everything bad in my life, and I threw it all away because I didn’t want to be reminded over something that happened a year ago.

TLDR; I held a grudge against my therapist friend for opening up to me about her trauma because I got flashbacks to a fight with an ex, then had a meltdown when she posted about the Man or Bear question, and now I don’t know what to do about our friendship.

#aita #am i the asshole

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boundinparchment · 2 days

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Kinetic Harvest

“I ain’t got the money. Not now. But with your…assistance, I can make it worth your while. Consider me a lifetime customer.”

You put the bullet back on your desk, a peace offering. He took it back and tucked it away, gun still trained on you.

“I don’t work on those who threaten me.”

Boothill/Gender Neutral Reader oneshot. Can be read as a pairing or not. Dottore reference if you squint. Not beta read.

Leaks used as a base, read at your own discretion. On AO3 here.

Reblogs are appreciated.

Desperation drove most to your doorstep, trembling as their bellies stoked fires so strong they made suns pale in comparison. Their eyes darted, assessing the clean office and workshop, as if they were wondering the validity of the rumors. A back-alley mechanic who took the money of criminals, crooks, and high society alike had to certainly have signs of that wealth. Or perhaps they thought morality was tied to cleanliness.

You cared not.

And they only cared whether you could fix their problem.

It made for a very convenient workflow.

But the man who sat before you was a deviation from that norm. He was surefooted, a little curious in the way his head turned to gaze about the darkened space. His eyes lingered not on you but on the prosthetic arm you kept behind your desk, the finger joints extended and the gun attachment on the wrist popped out, unloaded.

Never gave his name but you liked his drawl. You’d heard it from folks in a distant system. Aeragan-Epharshel was an ancient land, home to a language as old as the green plains and permafrosted mountains and dusty canyons; you were certain your mentor would have loved it there. So much to explore and learn from those who came before.

The stranger told you a story of a boy who grew up taming horses and identifying plants. Caring for everything around him. Isolated though the planet was, it was not without a law of entropy and a reciprocity that few ever even knew existed anymore. Of a child whose smile lit up a room like the sun itself.

There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation in his eyes when he stood a bullet up on your desk. In the glint of the lamplight, you caught three letters: IPC.

The one party you never took funding or clients from. The Interstellar Peace Corporation was, quite ironically, stood for the exact opposite, in your opinion.

“You specialize in cybernetics,” the man tilted his head as he leaned back in his seat. The wood squeaked. “And rumor has it, you go beyond the usual…modifications. I ain’t done in this universe ‘til that bullet is buried in the skull of the leech that sucks planets dry.”

His words were pinched tight by this teeth, jaw on edge. This man, this stranger off the streets, knew what he wanted and you wondered how many others in your profession turned him away. Plenty would. There was a liability in taking the human form too far, both ethically and bureaucratically. Too much red tape, too much diffusing of pre-conceived notions.

No wonder your mentor chose the path of eternal funding and embraced his legacy.

“Before you tell me, ‘No’,” the man drawled. “Know that I have endured harsher summers and brutal winters than most o’ your so-called patients, doc. I can handle what needs to be done.”

“I don’t doubt that,” you replied, fingers reaching for the bullet and holding it up to the light.

Those who were so glued to their convictions made for difficult clients, though. They were stubborn.

Worse, really, you reminded yourself as you looked up and noticed the barrel of a gun staring back at you. No one would stand between a hunter and his prey.

“I ain’t got the money. Not now. But with your…assistance, I can make it worth your while. Consider me a lifetime customer.”

You put the bullet back on your desk, a peace offering. He took it back and tucked it away, gun still trained on you.

“I don’t work on those who threaten me.”

A second, and then two, before he clicked his teeth and holstered the weapon. He gestured with open hands to demonstrate he was unarmed and then folded them in his lap.

“You’ll have a difficult road ahead,” you advised. “Years of assembly.“

“A full cybernetic body that preserves my noggin and my perfect eyesight is hardly unreasonable. It’s been done. Everyone knows you studied hidden away from the Aeons, under the Heretic. He’s dead, o’ course, but if I were a gamblin’ man…”

“You don’t strike me the type.”

“I ain’t,” the words came out strained, frustrated with a huff of breath. “A waste o’ money and time. Frivolous. All I’m sayin’ is…if I wanted the easy way out, I wouldn’t be here. I know what I’m signin’ up for.”

Your eyes traced his haggard face, white hair with tinges of black that had seen better days, a muscular frame trimmed a little too lean in places due to malnutrition. A hat more pristine than his dusty pants.

“Lay down over on the table,” you jerked your head in the direction of the vivisection table off to the side of your workshop. “We’ll start with your measurements.”

The man let out a slow exhale, one you didn’t dare attribute to relief. He rose with a steadiness you recognized only in those who trusted in their abilities and convictions, who would succeed not just through skill but by the cognitive bias that they embraced with every fiber of their being.

“Just promise me one thing, cowboy,” you said, collecting a tablet from your desk.

He turned, weight shifted to cock his hip impatiently.

“I don’t want your money. But when we’re done, you’ll tell me your name. I want to know what to call the one who succeeds in gutting the IPC.”

He smiled, crooked and charming, and you wondered if you ever saw eyes sparkle like that in this office before.

“It’s a deal, doc.”

#boothill #boothill hsr #hsr spoilers #Boothill leaks #HSR fanfiction #x reader #x gender neutral reader #boothill x reader #boothill x gn reader #can also be read platonically #idk how to tag this I’m not in this fandom properly

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songsofadelaide · 2 days

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"These fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath— Taking all of me. We've already done it in my head. If it's make-believe, why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?"

Author's Note: Reader is 19. Gojo is three years older.

You know how you have people you call aunt and uncle but you aren't actually related to them? And they're just really good friends with your parents? That's what Satoru's parents were to you. Your mothers were close since they were children and they both pursued modelling as they grew older. While your mom eventually retired from the game and chose a more quiet life with a kind lawyer for a husband, your Aunt Arisu became a famous supermodel and married into a family of old money— the Gojos.

And though your mom got married much earlier since she retired from modelling first, your Aunt Arisu got pregnant right off the bat after her wedding. She was a spoiled little thing, too, always calling for your mom and not so much her husband when her cravings and hormones reared their ugly heads. She often chided your mom to give her child a playmate, but not too late. She hoped to have a pretty daughter so they could wear fancy matching clothes.

Aunt Arisu's son Satoru was three years old when you were born. And while he wasn't the daughter she pined for, she loved him so, so much because he was just as pretty as she always hoped for. He was present when you were born, locked in his mother's arms as she held him out to take a peek at you.

...The story never gets old. Your mother and Aunt Arisu would always be laughing as they got drunk on their sweet wine every two weeks or so, and your family's kitchen was still a mess after hosting dinner for the Gojos again. Your fathers were drinking whiskey and smoking their expensive cigars on the front porch, talking about current affairs and stocks if you knew. And Satoru...

Well...

He was always welcome in your room. He always brought his own toys to play with and sometimes played with yours, too. Satoru was like the older brother you never had, and he was always so sweet to you... That is until you turned sixteen and suddenly, he was way too good for you to hang out with.

You didn't see much of him in the last three years, but you always knew where he was— on the cover of your favourite teen magazine, that soda commercial on TV, fronting promotional material for high-end clothing and expensive mobile phones on social media... All of that made sense. He's the son of modelling royalty, after all. Your childhood friend was the nation's sweetheart now and you're probably just a girl in his boyhood memories.

You didn't bother showing yourself downstairs when the Gojos arrived for your usual dinner date. You couldn't stomach seeing Satoru sitting across from you at the table, his silvery hair and feathery lashes framing his blue, blue eyes, his slender fingers curling around the wine glass that was usually just your mother's and her best friend's... His eyes twinkling in mischief as he calls your name with that voice of his, both so sweet and so sultry...

Why did he push you away back then when he was the one to embrace you first?

That embrace was etched so in your head since you were sixteen, and it was something you always remembered whenever you saw his posts on Instagram, whenever your mother watched his commercials on TV, whenever you've been struggling at high school... And whenever you were alone in your room in your bed— the walls the only thing that could hear you and your thoughts, possibly— as you dove deeper into your inane imagination.

"Toru..."

He wanted you just as much.

...So much that you were crying to yourself, too, thinking of how stupid you were to believe your Aunt Arisu's silly little joke that you were born for her lonely little son to have someone—

The soft knock on your bedroom door was enough to snap you out of your deluded solo flight. You jumped out of your bed without a second thought about how flushed you looked. "I'll be there in a second, mom... Just... a sec!"

Perhaps you should have thought about it first.

"Hey there. Are you... feeling okay?"

Gojo Satoru. As though he stepped right out of your fantasies mere moments ago.

"Uh..."

He wedged his foot on your door as you tried to shut him out in panic. What the hell was he doing here? "Wait a moment. I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

And what could he possibly want to talk about now?

When you turned sixteen, Satoru's father sat him down for a conversation. He was told that you weren't just some girl anymore. That you weren't children anymore and that he needed to be more careful around you. Because you were growing into a woman— And because of that, there were certain things you couldn't do together anymore.

"What are you saying, dear? If Toru likes her, then I'm all for it. That girl is my best friend's daughter and a fine young lady! I wouldn't want anyone else for my boy!"

...And it bothered him. A lot. Because it meant he couldn't hold you anymore. And when he did so once out of habit— because your laughter delighted him so much— he pushed you away so hard that you held back tears. He didn't know what came over him back then, but he stopped coming over to your room afterwards.

Satoru couldn't handle the way you avoided his gaze whenever he was around for your family's shared dinner. He realised you must have been finally done with him tonight when you didn't bother showing up at all even though you were just upstairs in your room.

"...ask Toru to call her downstairs! I haven't seen that girl for quite some time now! Has she been..."

"...with university lately. There's this boy, too. Her classmate, I think..."

The older women's conversation faded in his head the moment your mother mentioned a boy— a classmate— and just how close the two of you have grown while you were in university. Good grief. He couldn't handle it. He couldn't.

You were supposed to be his.

He made his way to your room upstairs, his footsteps as soft and quiet as a cat's, and he was ready to talk to you. About everything. About why the last three years were torment for him. About why his father was right to remind him that you weren't children anymore because children wouldn't think the way he did. About why you shouldn't go out with that guy from your uni—

Satoru heard them. The faintest of whimpers from your bedroom. And if he was right in his head, he seemed to have heard his name, too.

He wasn't going to let go of this.

You opened the door with your face still flushed and your clothes all rumpled and you nearly shut him out if didn't think fast enough. You let go of the door and allowed him inside your room, the sound of the locks unheard because of the rush of blood in your ears.

He's going to take what's his. Without so much of an effort, too, by the way you willingly walked into his arms the moment he opened them to receive you.

#songsofadelaidewrites💛#mari's prompts 🎠#jujutsu kaisen #jjk au #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #i wrote this while listening to ttpd #guilty as sin?#starry divider by @/cafekitsune

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paperclip-skz · 2 days

Text

Little Red

fem*Reader x Bang Chan

*WARNING*

contains: oral (f receiving), over-clothes stimulation, teasing, unprotected sex, chasing, and mention of prey, let me know if I missed anything.

WC: 2k

**************************************

“3 minutes!” His voice echoes through the empty house. Your heart is thundering against your ribcage and your breath is lost in your throat. The proof of your excitement is evident between your legs, creating a sticky moisture between your thighs.

You showed Chan the new outfit you bought thinking he would take it off of you right away, little did you know he would be chasing you through the house, playing a game of cat-and-mouse.

You stand there in your new outfit you had just gotten yesterday, your legs shaking. You bought it to surprise Chan, he had been busy all week and today was his first day completely off. You wanted to take advantage of it. Your costume isn’t much of anything, it's a small red and white dress just barely covering your upper thighs, it's practically see-through, but the sheer ends just below your breasts. You chose not to wear panties thinking that your bright red booty shorts were enough. The costume is complimented with a mini bright red cape draping over your head,

You thought he would find it cute and sexy, but once he said “You have 5 minutes to run”

You tilt your head with a confused expression. “Wha-”

He cuts you off as he begins to stand. “I catch you, I fuck you. You have 5 minutes to run.”

A chill sprints up your spine and your panties begin to dampen. The excitement pumping through you like you had just gotten off a roller coaster. He stalks to you with a few more steps, his eyes becoming much darker than what you were used to; his innocent brown gaze lost by a monstrous look.

You both stare at each other a minute too long until he breaks out of your trance “4 minutes.”

Before you can register and stand there a second longer, your legs react. Sprinting through your house. You bolt to the stairs and run up them as fast as you can.

Your costume swings and sways with each turn you make through the house. “2 minutes!” he calls out, and you duck into a nearby room not knowing if it's a closet, a bathroom, or your shared bedroom. You take a moment to capture your surroundings, it's one of your spare bedrooms. You quietly tip-toe to the closet, opening it and stepping in between the winter jackets tucked inside.

Your hand shoots up to cover your mouth, silently begging for your breathing to calm down. Why am I hiding, don’t I want him to catch me? The conflict in your mind battles between purposely getting caught and staying hidden away. You and Chan have always been so open about your sexual desires, he always teased you that you were his prey and he was yours, but this is a whole other level of prey.

“One more minute little red!” he calls out which makes your breath catch in your throat.

You can feel your heart beating against you and the wetness between your legs is so prominent you have to squeeze your thighs shut. Certainly, he wouldn’t mind, would he?

The combination of anticipation and eagerness to have him inside you is overwhelming. So, you slide off your red booty shorts separating the cold air from your pussy. You successfully take them off and slide them beside you not wanting to create too much noise.

“Here I come!” You hear him shout indicating that his patience has ended. Was that really 5 minutes?

Your breathing slows down a bit, making the tight space even quieter. His footsteps echo around the house, creating a thunderous sound bouncing off the walls. You can hear him enter an empty room growing particularly frustrated when he can’t find you. The idea of staying hidden becomes more arousing because you know the second he does find you he will have no control over himself.

Your hand slips down in between your legs, your legs spread just enough to reach your wet folds. You rub gentle circles on your clit, your other hand still covering your mouth. You're not rubbing hard enough to create too much pressure, so your moans aren’t loud, but you're not quiet either. Thinking you might be caught like this because of your moans sends a thrill straight to your core. Your eyes flutter closed as you relish in the feeling of being touched, even if it’s your own hand. You're so lost in the sensation that you don’t hear the door to the room you are in open, it's not until you hear footsteps outside of the closed closet, that you snap out of your mind and your hand halts its movements.

His gentle footsteps inch around the room, not rushed, but still on a mission to find you. “The things I’m gonna do to you when I find you.”

With your hand still between your legs, you start circling your clit again thinking of all the things Chan could do to you. He could ravish you for all you care, make you scream and whimper his name till the neighbors complained, make you squirm with overstimulation, and then kiss your body till your numb-

You moan at your own thoughts. A gasp leaves your lips and you can hear a small gasp come from outside of the closet.

Suddenly, the closet door swings open and you see Chan already shirtless standing before you. You bat your eyelashes up at him and he growls, literally growls, at you. He’s truly become an animal. Your breathing picks up again, acting like you’ve just run miles. He stares at you for a second longer, seeing your exposed legs, the hand between them, and how your nipples are poking through the thin fabric of the costume. Immediately he picks you up, dragging you by your ankles.

He picks you up bridal style, but not for long because he’s throwing you onto the bed in the room in no time.

He’s on top of you letting his hands roam all over you. His lips latch onto the crook of your neck leaving small hickeys. He lifts his head slightly to catch his breath. “Color?”

“Green” you confirm, he growls at your permission. He dives back down to your skin, clawing at the fabric still shielding your body. “Chris” you whine as he is still kissing you, sloppy kisses and purple hickeys marking your skin.

“What? Use your words” he commands in between kisses.

“Need you, please” you beg

He chuckles at your desperation. You tug his face to yours to kiss him passionately. He breaks the kiss to stare at your gaze “Want your big bad wolf to destroy you?”

You nod, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him closer.

His crotch rubs against your exposed core and the friction sends you both groaning. His head leans down to see his already rock-hard tent rub against your wetness, then he lifts up with a new fire in his eyes.

Chan leans up to unbutton his jeans letting them fall to his ankles, his boxers not far behind. In record time he lineing himself up at your entrance. The wetness already dripping onto the sheets.

Chan’s stare is relentless as he flicks his tip over your clit. You gasp wanting more of him, wanting him inside. “Chris” you whine, tugging his shoulders to desperately bring him closer. You don’t care if you look pathetic, you’ve seen him literally on his knees sucking on your clit.

“You look beautiful like this, you know that? Desperate for me to fill you up” another flick against your clit, your head slams against the sheets, and your back arches off the bed trying to find the real friction you need. “Silly riding hood, you weren’t mean to get caught by the big bad wolf” he chuckles at his own teasing, again another flick. Surely he can’t handle more of his teasing than I can. “Now the big bad wolf has to eat you up.”

To your surprise, Chan doesn’t push into you. Instead, he leans down onto his knees. He’s face to face with your core, blowing on your sensitive bud. Without a second to waste, Chan dives into your pussy licking and sucking at your clit and then traveling his tongue up and down your folds, making sure to get every last drop of wetness that's gathered there. Your back becomes one with the ceiling with how much it arches off the bed, your eyes roll to the back of your skull, and your moans become uncontrollable. He moans against you, the vibrations creating a new sensation.

“Ah- Chris. Don’t stop, please don’t stop” you call out. His hands grab at your hips forcing them down and closer to his face, taking his tongue and dipping it inside you. The soft feeling of his tongue coating your walls is what sends you closer and closer to the edge. He takes his time rotating his tongue from dipping it into your walls, running it over your folds, and flicking it over your clit.

You get closer and closer that you're screaming his name. “Chris! I’m close, I’m so so close” I’m gon-”

Swiftly Chan stands up, removing himself from your core, right before your orgasm. Your whine comes out as more of a grunt until he leans back down over you and kisses you. Your arousal lingers on his tongue and his chin. You can taste yourself on him and it just sends a zing of pleasure straight to your core.

Chan angles himself at your entrance once again, while still kissing you, and then pushes into you. The stretch is a pleasurable pain and you both moan into each other's mouths. He stays still for a moment letting you adjust to the new feeling of being full of him. “Please tell me I can move baby”

The pain and pleasure become too much too vocal, so you just nod your head. Chan begins to move his hip at a slow pace, the pain slowly becoming a beautiful burn. Your face shapes into a delightful “O” giving him a single to take his pace ever so slightly faster.

“Chris”

“Yea, beautiful?”

“Deeper” your eyes are darker, wanting nothing more than the connection between the two of you to last forever.

He moans at your request taking his thrusts deeper into you hitting your G-spot in the process. As his movements become more rapid your hand shoots over your head, letting the fabric stretch as well. Chan lets his hands grip your breasts, pinching and kneading the hardened nipple.

You feel the knot in your stomach twist and you know you're close. Chan’s eyebrow begins to scrunch and you can also tell he's about to fall apart with you. You take one of your hands to caress his face and he leans into your touch, kissing your wrist. His thrusts becoming sloppy, Chan takes one of his hands away from your breasts to rub your clit in slow circles. That's what does it. The knot that was forming in your chest breaks and you feel your orgasm wash over you in an extreme way. Chan takes a few more thrusts deep in you until you feel him spasm inside, letting himself fill you up.

He collapses onto you his nose nuzzled into your neck, you're both out of breath. There's a few moments of silence until you feel his chest vibrate. “You're laughing?” You can’t help the small chuckle that escapes your lips at his reaction.

“You let me call you Riding Hood. This doesn't feel real”

“Oh, it's real baby” You start fiddling his his hair, petting his scalp.

He lifts his head to place a gentle kiss on your lips, his lips linger for a moment relishing in the feeling of your soft lips on his.

“Let me test it, one more time” In a split second Chan is right back on top of you kissing you more passionately than ever.

#skz #skz smut #bang chan #chan #reader x stray kids #stray kids #limbo #smut #stray kids x reader #story #stray kids smut #short story #christopher bang #bang chan smut #chan smut #chan x reader #bangchan x reader #bang chan x you #fem reader

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leclerc-s · 3 days

Text

there’s no separating work husbands

series masterlist

rowan todd i now realize i have been silently suffering for far too long.

bailey winters LMAOOOOO!!! SUCK IT!! rowan todd you have no room to talk winters.

daniel jones-ricciardo suffering from what?

fernando alonso third-wheelitis

sebastian vettel that's not a word. fernando alonso it is now!

logan sargeant how are we supposed to believe that those two are mature adults?

ollie bearman better question, how are any of you adults?

alex albon sometimes it's a miracle any of us have lived as long as we have

yuki tsunoda I'M BACK BITCHES!

rhys jones has he always been here? isabella perez he muted us after pierre left RB and only popped in to make fun of pierre every once in a while.

rowan todd there he is, the bane of my existence.

yuki tsunoda little me?

lance stroll i'm convinced who's afraid of little old me was written for yuki, mae, and penelope.

charles leclerc now why would you tell them? mae jones-verstappen we can read this you fake bitch.

pierre gasly YUKI!!

yuki tsunoda PIERRE!

max jones-verstappen they're married. the faster we admit it the faster it's over.

mick schumacher that sure doesn't stop you from third wheeling daphne and daniel. max jones-verstappen sometimes i have to fight the urge to punch you schumacher.

yuki tsunoda if it helps, you're my favorite gasly rowan.

pierre gasly what the fuck yuki?

freya vettel this is yuki's 'breaking my silence' video.

yuki tsunoda rowan still visits me, unlike someone.

rowan todd it's true and he feeds me in return.

lance stroll because fuck the french right?

yuki tsunoda yes!

daphne jones-ricciardo i don't think i've ever seen a third-wheel and the significant other ganging up on the other person in the relationship.

sebastian vettel rowan and yuki like to defy the odds.

mick schumacher like alex and george when they dare each other to do stupid shit.

george russell SHUT YOUR MOUTH SCHUMACHER!! alex albon shut up mick!

ollie bearman i'm never introducing my girlfriend to you people.

isabella perez well you have to because i'm your mother.

pato o'ward you must oliver!

gael perez leave the poor boy alone oh my god.

dulce perez says the nosiest bitch in this group chat.

rowan todd i've been kicked out of my own apartment by my own boyfriend.

bailey winters it's almost too funny i have to laugh. rowan todd zip it winters.

isabella perez wait, they actually kicked you out?

rowan todd pierre told me, 'yuki forgot to get something, can you go grab it for us?'

rowan todd i thought they were sending me to yuki's car, but noooo!

rowan todd they sent me to the fucking store to pick it up.

daphne jones-ricciardo sometimes i genuinely feel bad for you rowan

dulce perez why sometimes?

daphne jones-ricciardo she chose pierre. this is no one's fault but hers.

mae jones-verstappen well you're the one who invited them both to your party, so if anything this is your fault.

natalia ruiz was she supposed to know rowan would decide, 'yeah, i want that french fucker.'

penelope trevino just start a pierre gasly hate club. have yuki and esteban join you.

isabella perez ooh! i'll join too, i'm still mad he ate my churros that one time. natalia ruiz count me in too tf. mae jones-verstappen i have pent up rage against pierre for making fun of me after my break up with max. count me in too.

isabella perez pierre's kind of an ass, why are you with him rowan?

rowan todd i can fix him (no really i can)

daphne jones-ricciardo remember what the ending line of that song is? 'woah, maybe i can't'

penelope trevino but she did?

natalia ruiz pierre is an asshole on the outside but on the inside he's a huge softie. we all know this.

mae jones-verstappen but it's so funny to shit on him.

daphne jones-ricciardo just hang out with yuki without him. make him suffer.

rowan todd that's actually a smart idea. brb going to ask yuki to grab lunch with me.

liked by yukitsunoda0511, gaelperez, daphnejonesricciardo and others

rowantodd not pictured is yuki screaming for help because pierre almost set the kitchen on fire. i was also sent to get the groceries while pierre 'hung out' with yuki.

tagged: pierregasly, yukitsunoda0511

view all comments

yukitsunoda0511 thank you for having me rowan!!

↳ rowantodd you're welcome to come back anytime yuki, but please leave your assistant at home.

↳ pierregasly this is slander against me.

landonorris i need to find someone who looks at me the way yuki looks at pierre

↳ baileywinters so guess who's single now.

↳ landonorris baby no! i didn't mean it like that!

user52 damn third wheeling in her own home

↳ user79 it seems like they're forcing pierre to third wheel them

user61 what dignified little lady martini is!

user25 pierre gasly having a yorkie as a pet was something i never expected when i became a formula 1 fan.

↳ user14 and this man still makes 🐶 jokes.

nataliaruiz not all of us can have a joris third wheel but at least yours feeds you.

↳ rowantodd at least it's not lando.

↳ penelopetrevino he sucks but only i can shit talk him.

↳ landonorris thanks mom!

user89 what a cute family, pierre, his ex-wife rowan, his husband yuki, and their child martini.

❤️ by rowantodd, yukitsunoda0511, and others

pierregasly ah, my two loves, yuki and martini.

↳ rowantodd this is why i've never written a love song about you.

↳ danieljonesricciardo this is why she got a divorce from you.

estebanocon ah, my favorite member of the gasly family, martini.

↳ rowantodd this is why you're her favorite alpine driver, besides jack

↳ jackdoohan aw shucks i'm honored.

olliebearman if martini goes missing, just know it wasn't me.

user35 everyday i'm reminded that martini is a 'happy divorce day' gift pierre got for rowan.

↳ user66 THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE A DOG??

↳ user35 oh yeah, martini is an 'i'm happy we got a divorce' gift.

jeremyrenner is that tripod guy?

↳ rowantodd please stop.

↳ pierregasly i refuse to believe jeremy renner knows me as tripod guy. i've never been so embarrassed.

↳ isabellaperez is this worse than tom holland referring to you as tripod during the monaco gp?

↳ gaelperez sebastian stan and anthony mackie also know you as tripod.

↳ pierregasly i've never hated myself more.

↳ yukitsunoda0511 HA!

pierre gasly end my suffering.

esteban ocon LMAOOOO!!! SUCK IT BITCH!!

lewis hamilton oh no. what happened now?

pierre gasly THEY'RE GANGING UP ON ME!! I AM SUFFERING!!

sebastian vettel i thought we had another pr nightmare on our hands.

isabella perez no, everything is calm on that front for now.

rhys jones i can start a rumor about daniel being pregnant with max's child?

daniel jones-ricciardo why am i always the victim of his crimes?

rowan todd SUFFER LIKE I HAVE SUFFERED YOU CROISSANT!!

yuki tsunoda I'M STEALING THE GOD!! SHE'S MINE NOW!

pierre gasly YOU LEAVE MARTINI ALONE TSUNODA!!

charles leclerc STEAL HIS DOG YUKI! HE TRIED TAKING LEO FROM ME!!

daphne jones-ricciardo did they go out to get lunch without you?

pierre gasly how did you know?

dulce perez it was her idea.

pierre gasly i hope you have issues with your mic in paris daphne.

rhys jones i hope you piss in your tractor of a car pierre.

lance stroll he's scary. keep him away from sharp objects.

rhys jones i'm making it my mission to scare my sisters haters. pierre gasly, you're at the top of my list.

carlos sainz he's what the people describe as feral.

lando norris this is a trick to divert pierre's attention from rowan and yuki.

pierre gasly WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE!!!

rowan todd YOU'LL NEVER FIND US!!

yuki tsunoda YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!!

pierre gasly i'll find you two. i swear.

rowantodd has posted new stories

hanging without pierre, this is the best experience either one of us have had. oh look who decided to crash my yuki-time. that was my desert...

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @applopie @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @mypage-myfandoms @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @six-call @justtprachisblog @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @cool-ultra-nerd @kami10471633 @1nt3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @arieltwvdtohamflash @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @georgeparisole @dan3avocado @nikfigueiredo @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @weekendlusting @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81 @theseus-jpg @sarah-thatstings-ann @minmira95 @casperlikej @formulaonebuff @hopenshaw @ijustgomessitupx @hwalllllllelujah @doodlehunz @prongsvault

¡leclerc-s speaks! took the weekend off but i’m back! convinced this isn't my best work but it still delivers on humor (i think)

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #the honest series #formula 1 #formula 1 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #f1 #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au #f1 fic #pierre gasly #pierre gasly x female oc

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penny00dreadful · 18 hours

Text

Through The Valley - Post-Apocalypse AU - Part 1

AO3

Eddie rapped his knuckle against the metal three times.

“I don’t sell from the van, Harrington.”

He was parked in a dark corner of the cul-de-sac, blocking out any streetlight. The only reason he’d been able to recognise the artful swoop of hair was due to the residual glow from Tina’s Halloween Bash that had completely cleaned out his stock. It was going to comfortably pay his and Wayne’s electricity bill for the winter months ahead.

With maybe a little left over for a couple of new tapes if he was lucky.

If it had been anyone else he’d probably have been more careful in his approach but Steve never got physical in school. Even if he chose tonight to start throwing drunken punches, Eddie was pretty sure he’d be able to fend him off.

He wasn’t as strong as Steve but he was stone cold sober and knew how to take care of himself.

Eddie didn’t even really have to try to be mean and scary half the time, his look did it enough for him.

Steve had been leaning up against the side of the van with his head in his hands but Eddie’s approach must have been muffled by the thumping music coming from the house because the way he startled at the sound of Eddie’s knocking was borderline panicked.

A little over the top, to be honest.

Like he expected some monster to appear out of the shadows.

Steve glanced at him but just as quickly turned his back, swiping furiously at his face and Eddie got the distinct impression he’d interrupted something private. It immediately put him on edge.

These traditional masculinity jock types always got very defensive if they were caught being vulnerable. Like a single shred of emotion would shrink their dick.

“I’m not here to buy, I’m-” Steve sniffled again, wiping his nose harshly on his sleeve. “Sorry, I just needed a minute, I’m leaving.” His voice was thick from crying and he in no way tried to hide it.

Eddie frowned.

He didn’t really know what to do with that reaction, it wasn’t what he was expecting at all. But he figured if Steve could be gracious enough not to snap and spit at him, Eddie could be gracious enough not to make things worse.

“Don’t worry about it, man. If you need a minute, take a minute.”

Steve shook his head. “No, it’s fine-” he was cut off as he tried to step away but had clearly misjudged where the curb was in the darkness, tripping over it and landing hard on his back in the bushes.

He leaned forward, trying to pull himself back up but went completely slack again a second later.

“Well that’s just fucking typical.” Steve muttered.

Eddie tried hard to keep any hint of a smirk or smile off his face as he moved to hover over him, still trying to keep the mood light.

“You good?”

Steve flapped a loose hand in his direction. “I’m fine. Just leave me here to die.”

Eddie did smile at that and held a ringed hand out to him. “Dramatics are usually my job.”

Steve clapped his hand into Eddie’s and allowed himself to be hauled up to a sitting position.

Eddie considered for a moment before his curiosity got the better of him and he threw himself down onto the concrete.

The coldness of the curb immediately bit through his jeans. There’d probably be a freeze tonight. He could see their breath fog up in between them and the van they were now shadowed behind as he tapped out two cigarettes from his pack and offered one over.

Steve looked surprised for a moment, or Eddie guessed he looked surprised. They were both still drenched in mostly darkness, so Eddie couldn’t see much of his face.

Steve took the cigarette with a soft, “Thanks.”

Lighting up he took a deep inhale before rubbing at his eyes again with the heel of his hand, though it seemed to be more out of tiredness than continued tears.

He sniffed again and let out a heavy sigh.

“Are you going to ask about it?”

“Not if you don’t want me to.” Eddie shrugged. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. No. I don’t know-” Steve’s words died in his throat when he looked up, eyes sliding from Eddie’s face and landing over his shoulder.

Eddie twisted around and caught sight of Jonathan helping a stumbling Nancy out of the house with nervous hands and a worried brow.

“I’m guessing it has something to do with that?” He asked, turning back.

Steve tracked the two of them with his eyes before looking back down at the ground and saying quietly, “Yeah, something like that.”

“You’re not worried about someone else taking your very intoxicated girlfriend home?”

Steve shook his head inhaling another large drag from his cigarette. “No, not with Byers. She’s safe with him, she-” he sighed. “Don’t think she’s my girlfriend anymore anyway.”

Well it didn't take much more than that to paint a picture in Eddie's head of what had happened.

The whole town had known about the fight between Jonathan and Steve last year following the spray painting and subsequent clean up of The Hawk in which Nancy had very much not sided with Steve on it, though who could blame her.

People had expected him to drop her like a lead balloon after that but he hadn’t. He’d shocked everyone by starting up with her again, but now it looked like those issues had never really been resolved.

Eddie watched Steve’s silhouette carefully, ready for the moment he’d just up and start punching whatever was in reach like a good little testosterone driven toddler, but he just looked… defeated.

“You’re… handling it remarkably well.” He hedged, apprehensive.

“For now.” Steve tilted his head back to look up at the stars, his breath curling out white and foggy in the cold. “It’ll probably hit me tomorrow.”

Eddie wanted to reach a hand out, grip at his shoulder, offer a comforting touch but boys didn’t touch. And if they did, they only did it after reaching a certain level of friendship, which they were not at.

So he kept his hands to himself.

“Well I’d offer you something to take the edge off, but I’m afraid I’m all out.”

Steve shook his head. “No, you’re okay. Distraction and a cigarette is good enough for me. Plus you can’t just go around offering charity to anyone who crosses your path, people will try to take advantage.”

“You think I’d let people take advantage of me?” Eddie said with a smile, hoping to lighten the mood.

Steve snored. “No, I suppose not. You’ve got your whole,” he waved his hand in Eddie’s direction, “bad boy rough and tough… look.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows and laughed around his cigarette. “Hey, don't disparage the look, Harrington. It works.”

“M not disparaging, it’s a good look.”

“Oh, really? Didn’t think it’d be your type of thing.”

Steve glanced over at him, his eyes mischievous and ever so slightly hooded. “You’ve no idea what my type of thing is, Munson.”

Wait.

Was that a line?

Was Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington flirting with him? Him?

Maybe Steve had too much to drink.

He was obviously heartbroken by whatever was going on with Nancy so maybe it was just some kind of catharsis or a joke or-

A shrill ring cut through the air, sharp and splitting.

Eddie snapped his head up.

Steve didn’t react.

There was a rotary phone hanging off the side of his van, teal with a twisted cord.

And it was ringing.

Loudly.

It was like a spell had been broken, the shrill screaming of ringringring filled Eddie with a wild panic, a wild fear, shooting through his head and setting his blood alight.

He turned his wide eyes back to Steve who was now looking up at the phone with loose shoulders and a calm face.

The darkness didn’t matter anymore, he knew with exact, intimate detail what look Steve had right now.

He’d been back here often enough after all.

“Stevie, don’t answer it.” Eddie’s panic was edging into desperation.

His time was running out.

There was an overwhelming sense of loss inside him, mixed up with devastation, heartbreak and sadness.

He was slipping.

He was slipping away.

Again.

“I have to.”

“No, you don’t.” Eddie shook his head frantically, grasping Steve by the shoulders. “You don’t have to.”

He swung his leg over, sitting himself firmly in Steve’s lap and placed a hand at either side of his face, practically begging him. “Just a little longer. Please, baby, please.”

It was like he was imploring Steve to look inside at his beating, bloody heart, pleading with him to let them both stay. His tone was frantic and he could feel his soul cracking to pieces, clinging on as if he could keep Steve here just with his grip alone.

“It’s about Max.” Steve stated, matter of fact.

Eddie leaned forward and placed kiss after kiss in quick succession against Steve’s face. “You don’t have to answer it yet.” He said, a thick sob crawling its way up his throat, trying to change the inevitable.

His vision was starting to blur with tears and the lump in his throat felt like he’d swallowed a fucking golf ball. “Not yet. You can- you can answer it later. Please. Stevie. Baby. Sweetheart. We could-” He threw his arms around Steve’s shoulders, holding him as tight and close as he possibly could, as though his grip could keep them both here.

His tears were finally slipping free and his heartbreak cresting into complete and utter anguish. “We could go hang out with Robin or… or…”

“I haven’t met Robin yet, Eds. You know that.” Steve’s hand came up to softly cradle the back of his head as Eddie’s tears clung to Steve’s neck where they fell and he wasn’t sure if that made things better or worse. “I have to answer it.”

The next sob that came felt like it had torn his whole body in half, shaking him to his core, ripping him in two.

“Just a few more minutes.” He begged. “Please. Please don’t go.” He whispered, tremulous and defeated as the soft click of the receiver being picked up sounded around him and he awoke with a start.

Eddie took a few moments to collect himself, swiping furiously at his eyes with his bedsheets, hating himself for crying and trying to will the lump in his throat away.

His heart was aching and he knew despite his best efforts he’d be carrying it around with him for the rest of the day.

He didn’t have nightmares like Dustin or Nancy did. He didn’t scream or thrash or claw, no.

He had these dreams.

He wept in his sleep, crying until he was dried out and exhausted upon waking up but he wouldn’t trade them in for anything.

At least with these dreams he could still…

Nevermind.

It wasn’t important.

He had too much shit to deal with today to spend time mourning the past.

The past was dead and there was nothing he could do about it now.

He just had to keep moving forward.

For Wayne, for Dustin, for Mike and El and Will, for the Sinclair parents and the Buckley parents and Ms. Mayfield.

He tried to focus on the issues of the day.

Their food surplus was getting dangerously low and there hadn’t been a supply drop from the military in weeks, though their own vegetable crop was still growing strong.

Chester Hagen and his goons were still giving Nancy trouble.

They needed extra hands to get their fence back up again and those bandits were still out there.

They might have been scared away by Dustin and Scott’s genius and deadly electrical wiring but they weren’t going to stay away for long.

Their settlement was way too valuable an asset to have under their belts from a defensive standpoint alone and if Chester Hagen or the fucking bandits were able to seize control it could be catastrophic.

And that’s not even mentioning the fucking Ghouls.

Their bright red eyes were always the first thing visible through the darkness of the forest, followed closely by the smell of decay.

They kept to the shadows, unnervingly quiet considering they were the shambling corpses of those caught in the crossfire of the rifts opening up.

They were able to sneak up on even the most alert of people, getting close enough to strike, cutting a gnarled claw into their victims skin and paralysing them, ready to be feasted upon silently and unable to scream.

If someone was unlucky enough to die from a bite, rather than claws ripping their flesh from their bones and bleeding out, they’d come back a few hours later, dead and mindless, driven by the need to consume.

It was so incredibly fucked up.

Nearly everyone had had a run in with someone they had known once in life.

Hawkins had been a very small town after all and the Ghouls were drawn to their walls, the noise their small community made within their safe refuge amongst the trees like a shining noise beacon.

The creatures were easy to pick off though, high up in the communities man made sentry towers Eddie had suggested way back when, but the community could never get too complacent.

The Ghouls were still a very real threat.

The two bodies that had to be brought home and buried after the last trip to maintain the water tower made that clear enough.

Two more plots in their makeshift graveyard at the edge of what was once a golf course.

Fuck, they needed food. At least something more than the rationed out vegetables they were able to grow, something similar to the comforts they knew before everything went to shit.

Some sugar, some salt, even a bit of fucking meat.

They hadn’t been hunting too much lately, it was getting more and more dangerous to leave the walls.

Everyone was running on fumes and it was making them sloppy.

Their sentries were having trouble concentrating, their medical personnel had started to feel they couldn’t perform their duties safely anymore, their smartest minds were waning.

Eddie dragged himself out of bed.

No time to huddle in for warmth and wish for a different day than the one he was facing down, too many people were waiting on him, relying on him.

He did allow himself to drift a hand over the pillow he kept on the other side, though.

His side, though it had always been empty, ever since they first arrived at this estate, ever since Eddie first slept in the bed, nine months ago.

Fourteen months since the end.

Fourteen months since...

No.

Stop thinking about it.

Too much to do today.

He shook his head again, stripping down bare and stopping in front of the mirror.

He was leaner than he had been before all this began.

Fourteen months of surviving an apocalypse would do that to a person.

His hair was longer and still just as messy as ever. His skin was blocked out with more self-inflicted tattoos. Mostly the result of sleepless nights and downtime by candlelight when the memories sometimes got to be too much and he just had to get them out, get them onto skin, carry them on the outside rather than leave them to fester on the inside.

There was an illustration of Smaug from the books, done to the best of his memory on his right knee. Shitty interpretations of his guitar, a slice of pizza, a walkie talkie, trucker hats, mugs, guitar picks and music notes littered his arms. The old hellfire logo and the Corroded Coffin logo inked into his chest where his demon head and black widow had once been, now in the stomach of some long dead demobat somewhere.

Those had hurt like a bitch.

Almost as bad as the two quotes on the inside of his thighs.

I had not intended to love him on the inside of his left.

He made me love him without looking at me on the inside of his right.

Eddie scratched at his jaw in the mirror. He needed a shave but that could wait, he couldn’t be fucked dragging a razor over his face right now.

The shower was icy cold. He barely remembered what bathing in warm water felt like anymore. Positives and negatives to having a steady water supply from the reservoir on top of the hill, but no electricity.

At least they were all able to keep clean.

He barely bothered to dry off, dumping his towel in the laundry hamper he’d probably forget to bring down to their approximation of a laundrette, again.

He snatched up some clothes from his dresser, dark and sturdy, just how he liked them.

Dark jeans, dark top, high quality boots that he found in the abandoned house he and Wayne were now living in and though the July sun had been vicious and unrelenting, he needed the comfort of the familiar.

The only things of his own that had survived were what he had on him when they’d run. His necklace, his bracelet, his wallet chain, even though he hadn’t had need of a wallet for over a year, wasn’t even sure where in the world it was. But he added them too, feeling more like himself with every piece he put on.

He snatched up the rifle he kept loaded and tucked between the bed frame and the wall every night, slinging the strap over his shoulder and was about to head out of his bedroom when he paused, gripping the door handle tight.

He hated giving into the urge but if this was the day he died, he knew he’d regret not doing it.

With a put upon sigh, he let go of the door handle and turned back into his room, opening his closet door and looking at the only item of clothing hanging in there.

Reaching out, he brushed his fingers over the back shoulders, feeling the raised lettering of the name across his fingertips and ran a hand down the sleeve, gripping the cuff.

Before he could stare at green and white for too long and allow the sorrow to wash over him again, he let go and shut the closet door.

The house he and Wayne had managed to lay claim to was one of the smaller ones but that didn’t bother them.

Hell, it was practically Eddie’s own now that Wayne was spending most nights with Scott.

In any case the house was close to exactly who he wanted to be close to.

The Hoppers-Byers clan lived directly behind him, the fence blocking their gardens from each other long broken down by El. Dustin and his mother lived to one side of him, Nancy and her family on the other. Across the road lived the Sinclair parents, Susan Mayfeild and the Buckley parents, along with the various friends and family members of those that hadn’t been seen since before everything went to shit, trying to find comfort in their numbers.

They’d tried to convince Dustin, Mike, Will and El to join them in their support group but those kids weren’t the types to sit around and talk about their feelings.

They were the types to throw themselves into some new experiment or dig their way through The Void trying to find a new way forward.

But no such luck so far.

Eddie had stopped asking.

He trudged his way through the streets of what was once a very affluent gated community but had now become their own little post apocalypse village.

How quaint, he thought, sardonically.

He headed towards what was a rec centre once upon a time but had since been repurposed as their collective dining hall.

During the good times when food stockpiles were high people could come and go as they pleased, getting fed whenever the desire took them, maybe even being able to make a request of what they wanted to eat.

But in times like these, when the variety of food was dangerously low, mealtimes were strictly regimented to make sure everyone got an equal share.

As he waited in line, his stomach growling with the smell wafting from the kitchens, the people around him sent him warm smiles and friendly greetings, some even trying to engage him in small talk.

Crazy how an actual apocalypse can change attitudes.

“What’s on the menu today, Joyce?” Eddie asked when he got to the front of the line.

His smile didn’t feel as strained as it had been before. Joyce always managed to bring some light out in him.

“Only the finest potato stew for one of our fearless leaders.” She replied with a sneaky smile, pushing a bowl of watered down lumpy stew towards him.

Eddie glared at her but without much substance behind it, picking up his bowl. “You know I hate it when you call me that.”

Joyce awed playfully, reaching over to pinch his unscarred cheek. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t pull such an adorable face whenever I do.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and turned away, calling back over his shoulder, “Bye Joyce.”

“Bye sweetie!”

He sat himself down at an empty table as far away from everyone else as he could, hoping to just be able to eat his meal in peace before the demands of everyone and everything started to surround him.

He only got about two bites in before a sour faced figure sat himself down across from him.

Eddie didn’t even bother to look up.

“I’m not in the mood, Hagen.”

Chester Hagen was a man who looked like he might have been attractive in his youth if he didn’t constantly have a sulk on his face and a sickening air of superiority around him.

“Just hear me out, Munson. I know you feel like you owe the Wheeler girl your loyalty-”

Eddie snapped his eyes up. “I don’t owe Nancy anything. She has my loyalty because she’s earned it. Something I’m sure you’re unfamiliar with.”

“Don’t you think this place could use some actual leadership? Not just some little girl playing politics.”

Eddie sighed heavily and continued to shovel his food into his mouth, trying to have this conversation finished as fast as he could. “And you think that’s you, do you? Might I remind you that everyone here,” he waved his hand around, “including you and your luddites elected her as leader, because she was one of the few who knew how to actually handle everything.”

“That was then. Now we’re starving. The military doesn’t respect her, why else wouldn’t we be getting our drops on time? The people are upset and they’re starting to talk. And need I remind you I was an acting town official for years. I ran for Mayor-”

Eddie lifted the bowl to his mouth, slurping down the last of his food. “And you lost.” He winced in mock sympathy, standing up. “To Larry Kline of all people. Ouch.”

He left to hand his bowl back over to be cleaned, praying that he wouldn’t be followed but that was apparently too much to hope for. He’d barely made it outside before he heard the heavy footsteps following him.

Eddie darted around the corner of the building, striding down the small gap between the dining hall and their makeshift medical centre, only stopping once he was sure Hagen had followed him in.

“Munson, if she has something over you that makes you think you can’t switch to the better team then you’ve got to know we can help you out. No matter what it is. You have a lot of respect in this community, we could use that. And you wouldn’t be stuck acting as some little girls guard dog-”

Eddie swung around, pressing the barrel of his rifle into Chester Hagan’s neck, backing him into the wall. Hagen immediately threw his hands up in surrender, his eyes wide with fear, looking like he was about to piss himself.

“What if I like being a little girl's guard dog, what then?”

Eddie and Nancy didn’t exactly see eye to eye. She still held onto some middle class, small town politeness and nothing Eddie said, trying to get her to accept the brutality of the world they were living in now would dissuade her.

But she was an effective leader. And she was one of the people who had kept him alive during the spring break from hell.

There was no way he was going to sell her out to Chester fucking Hagan.

Hagen swallowed, shifting the muzzle ever so slightly around his throat. “S- so is it a sex thing? Because I’m sure we could find-”

“For the sake of your own head I’m encouraging you to stop talking now.”

“Right, right. Yeah. I’m… I’ll stop talking.”

“Good. Now listen to me very carefully. Under no circumstances whatsoever will I be persuaded, coerced, bought or bullied away from Nancy’s side. This town voted her their leader and unless the majority no longer wants her overlooking things, it’s going to stay that way.” He pushed the barrel of the gun in harder, right under his jaw. “But if I ever get approached by you or one of your goons trying to get me to switch sides or go behind Nancy’s back for information again, I will not hesitate to put a bullet through your eye. We both know I’ll do it and I won't lose a wink of sleep over it."

"Th- pe- people won't like that."

"Oh, won't they? Tell me, who do you think the people will side with between the two of us? It's why you keep trying to get me to join your side. Because you know you don't have shit without my support. Like you said, I have a lot of respect in this community.”

“B- but you two fight, you fight all the time! We can hear it clear across the estate! We can-” Eddie dug the gun in just a little deeper. “Do not approach me again. Do I make myself clear?”

Hagen nodded, short and sharp and scared. “Crystal clear, Munson. Sir.”

“Good.” Eddie pulled the gun away from his neck and slung it back over his shoulder, walking down the rest of the alleyway before calling back, “Clean up, it smells like you shit yourself.”

“Can a girl get pregnant if she’s on top?”

Eddie dropped the metal sheet they were using to repair the hole in the fence, just barely managing to avoid crushing his toe. The noise clanged around them like a dinner bell. He and Dustin were outside the protective walls of the community for this particular repair and they both froze, tensing up and waiting to hear if the sound had attracted any Ghouls or roving bandits towards them. They were barely in danger, there were sentries posted on high platforms around the whole perimeter but it was still something they wanted to avoid if they could.

Speaking of, they could hear someone climbing the platform from the inside before Jonathan poked his head over the eight foot wall, looking down on the two of them.

“Everything okay?”

Eddie took one last glance at the dense woods around them and let his shoulders drop, tugging at the sleeves of his jacket and looking back up.

“Yeah, sorry about that Jon. The kid just jumpscared me is all.”

“I literally just asked a question.” Dustin frowned at him.

“A sex question.” Eddie pointed out.

“I think I’ll take my leave, have fun with that!” Jonathan disappeared back behind the walls before Eddie could even glare at him.

“Why are you even asking me? And who are you planning on sexing up? You’re too young anyway. You’re a foetus.”

“I’m sixteen. And seriously? I thought you’d be more… open minded about this.” Dustin pouted. “Plus who else am I gonna ask? Hopper, Jonathan? I can’t go to the library, they don’t exist anymore and I can’t ask-” Dustin swallowed, trying to keep his emotions in check and failing. “Steve’s not here.” He whispered.

Eddie’s heart gave a painful thud, like it always did whenever Steve was mentioned. Whenever Eddie thought of him, really.

It usually led to him trying not to think of him, which made him feel guilty, like he was trying to forget. Which then made him sadder and angrier and more hopeless all at the same time. Because ‘forgetting’ implied Eddie would never see him again. It implied that Steve was… gone.

And he just couldn’t accept that.

But trying to avoid thoughts of Steve often left Dustin in the lurch. He knew it did.

Who else could the kid talk to about this? Not Jonathan or Hopper or Joyce or Wayne or Claudia. None of them knew Steve like Dustin did. Not even Nancy had known him very well by the end.

Will and El had been the two kids who’d interacted with Steve the least when they were all together. Before. And Mike had too much ‘ex-boyfriend to his sister’ attitude about him to really talk to Steve back then, always assuming there’d be more time.

Maybe he could talk to Richard and Melissa Buckley. They were the parental connection Steve never had, Eddie knew that. Steve had told him that himself.

But there was too much of an age gap.

And the rest of their Upside-Down crew were in the same boat Steve was.

Not here.

They hadn’t been seen or heard from in over fourteen months.

Robin, Max, Lucas, Erica…

Missing.

Not gone.

Never gone.

Just… missing.

Dustin shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. “Look, can we just talk about the sex like scientists? Not make it weird with squiggly feelings?”

Eddie smirked, but nodded, happy to avoid the subject of Steve for a little longer.

“Sure thing, kiddo. To answer your question, yes. A girl can get pregnant from literally every penis in vagina position. And she can get pregnant if she’s on her period. And if it’s her first time.”

Dustin huffed, throwing his arms out at his sides. “Then how is anyone supposed to have sex without getting someone pregnant in the apocalypse?”

Eddie snorted, picking back up his metal sheet. “Why do you think there's been so many babies born here since it started?”

“Unsafe practices?”

Eddie snapped his fingers and pointed at Dustin. “Unsafe practices.”

“Well…” Eddie could hear Dustin drumming his fingers against his baseball bat, apparently contemplating something. He took a big breath in. “What have you been doing?”

Eddie nearly dropped the sheet again. “Me?”

“Yeah? How have you been having sex without getting anyone pregnant?”

Eddie blew out a breath, busying himself with finally securing the sheet. He’d probably end up nearly dropping it again if he didn’t. He cleared his throat. “I haven’t been.”

“Having sex?” Dustin asked in disbelief.

“Yes,” Eddie closed his eyes, bracing for all the usual questions. “I haven’t been having sex.”

“Why? Are you celibate? Are you waiting till marriage or something?”

“No…” He shook his head. “I just…”

“You do like girls, right?”

Dustin’s tone wasn’t accusatory or derogatory, just curious.

Eddie narrowed his eyes. “You go around asking people dangerous questions like that often, Henderson?”

“No. I’m not an idiot. Didn’t feel like a dangerous question to ask you. You don’t feel dangerous.” Dustin scowled. “Are you?”

Eddie allowed the corner of his mouth to tick up. “No, kid. I’m not dangerous. And to answer your question…” he shrugged. “Yeah. I like girls just fine.”

Dustin watched him closely, eyes darting between Eddie’s own. “But you don't prefer them?”

Eddie nodded. “Correct.”

Dustin nodded as well. “Okay. So you're like Will?”

“Not exactly. I like people… but I tend to lean towards the more… masculine side of things.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, animals do it all the time right? Why would it be different for people? People are just animals with bigger brains and a higher endurance.”

“Debatable.”

“Scientific fact.”

Eddie sighed. “Suppose you’re right.”

“So… do you just not feel safe trying to find someone in an apocalypse or is there someone…?”

“From before?”

Dustin swallowed. Talking about pre-apocalyptic relationships was always heavy. Especially if they… weren’t here.

“Yeah.” He agreed. “From before.”

“Yeah. I had someone. Have someone.” Eddie couldn’t look at him, continuing to work on the fence, unable to stomach the pitying looks he’d seen people get, people who still had hope they’d be reunited with their loved ones even after all this time.

People like the Sinclair parents, the Buckley parents and Ms. Mayfield.

No one knew he was also one of those people.

And if he got his way, no one would ever know.

He didn’t need the fucking pity.

He didn’t think he could bear it if Dustin muttered out the dreaded, “I’m sorry.”

But as always, the kid was full of surprises. “What’s his name?” It felt very deliberate, to ask what’s his name and not what was his name. Present tense. Intentional.

Eddie smirked to himself. A small little private thing, just for him.

“Ken.”

There was the sound of shuffling as Dustin hummed. “I don’t think I know a Ken.”

“No.” Eddie replied. “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

AO3

So…

Hello!

I am back! I am officially bring my break to an end and that is a terrifying concept but I'm gonna do it anyway! Updates on this fic will be a little more sporadic than my previous ones as I get back into the swing of things but I am so happy to be back and I hope you enjoy this story! 🥰

Fic title and lyrics from Through The Valley by Shawn James but it was this version by Ashley Johnson as Ellie that truly captured me.

Big thanks as always to @hbyrde36 for the magnificent beta work and to the STWG for their motivation.

@geekymagicalpotato

#steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #penny00dreadful #steddie fanfic #steddie fic #fanfic #pennys anniversary event #through the valley #post apocalypse au #dustin henderson

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kidasthings · 3 days

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Remember Me - One-Shot Noa x Mae Fanfic by Kida

Or, the last time Mae visits Noa with all those things left unsaid.

---------------------

The wind whispered across the grass, sweeping it with invisible fingertips. She stood, seemingly strong, in a blue cowl pock-marked by holes and tears. Behind her, her horse softly whickered and nosed the ground.

The subject of the woman's focus was just in front of her, wary as always, that same breeze stirring his short fur like it had the grass.

There is a stiffness in his regal posture. There had been so many times, too many times, where she had seemingly crossed him or hid information by omission.

He knew this.

So did she.

It was more overwhelming between them than the presence of Proximus Caesar had been.

They remained that way, frozen, until he chose to break the silence with words. Without preamble, the young ape asked her if their kind could live together.

A pause followed, interrupted only by the indignant snort of a horse.

“I don’t know,” she muttered softly, her eyes pricking with unshed tears.

Noa approached then, something hidden in his calloused hand. She knew what it was, of course, but that didn’t stop a single digit from tightening on the trigger of a small, hidden pistol concealed in her cloak.

The young male's face displayed reluctance and acceptance both in that all-too-human way that conflicted emotions carried. “You should have it.”

Hesitantly, Mae reached out and took the last piece of Raka shared between them. She folded the medallion in her fingers, felt its solid weight, and was brought back to the moment the waters washed the peaceful orangutan away.

Washed her ..friend.. away.

Her eyes cut to the side in something like shame, departing swiftly from Noa’s suddenly open and honest face. Her chin tipped inward, and she closed her eyes for a second, replaying events against the back of her eyelids.

It was too much, the memories.

It was too much, Noa’s knowledge.

It was just too much, her feelings.

I should end him, she thought in a moment of sheer desperation, like a feral animal cornered. She quickly tossed that thought aside because she knew she couldn't even if she wanted to. She couldn't end Noa any more than she can end her mission. Both were vital, even if one was more clear-cut than the other.

So, instead, she gave the slightest jerk of her head sideways and took a step back. He was too close for comfort. Her blue, clear eyes remain trained on him as she retreated.

He returned the long gaze, no doubt replaying all of the events that led them to this place. A furrow ran through his brow, and his mouth flattened into a tight seam as if he were holding back more words.

Mae felt the impact of that expression, more than he knew. Her fingers curled around the handle of her hidden weapon, bone-white and bloodless. She could still..

No.

Gutted, the human woman whirled around and turned for her mount, still grazing idly by beneath a tree. The shadow of overhead branches fell over her cheeks, dappling them with shifting penumbras. Over her neck where it was since placed, she feels the circular pendant of Caesar burning a hole through the material of her cloak, her skin, and finally her heart. It carried the memory of Raka, yes, but also Noa.

He gave it to her, after all.

She glanced back, perfunctory, and found him still watching her. Their eyes, human and ape, met one last time and something deep inside Mae divides so fast it feels exactly like breaking.

No, her mind hissed. It's that trapped animal again, fearful and fighting.

Her legs are on auto-pilot now, walking away, away – just as her heart and liberated tears kept falling.

Away, away.

#kingdom of the planet of the apes #kotpota #mae x noa #monster romance #planet of the apes #nomae #noamae #fanfiction

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morgana-larkin · 2 days

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MWAHAHAHAHHA. ALTERNATIVE ENDING TIMEEE. The vender flowers fic thing. I am here to request an alternative angst ending. Ok SO *cracks knuckles* Mel still chooses you and still goes to your place to confess. However, when u lean in to kiss her, she kisses u back. Then, smut (y’all sleep together). Then, she goes home to break up w Gary. She explains her feelings and he was so understanding and loving that she realizes she doesn’t want to let him go. So they end up staying together. Then at school u see her w Gary and you’re (patiently) like “hey what’s up have u done it yet like what’s goin on” and she tells u that she hasn’t but she will and that she can’t wait to be with you. Then y’all fuck again maybe or just make out idk, up to u, and you’re all happi and giggly BUT THEN the next day she tells u the truth. That she doesn’t wanna let him go and you’re like “ok so u just used me/lied so u could get the best of both worlds/just to sleep w me” and then idk what she says after that u can pick. And idk how to end this u can pick hahaha.

Alright, I finished it! And before anyone asks, we made a deal that if I do a lot of angst then I can have my happy ending. 😊 Although I think it’s more sad than angsty. And when you put the cracks knuckles, I burst out laughing. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it.

On another note: I notice that half of you put compliments for me in your prompts and I love reading them, you guys are so sweet! 🥹❤️ Also I spent 10 minutes picking out a gif cause I got distracted looking at Lisa…I regret nothing.

The Vendor, The Teacher and The Roses - Alt End

Warnings: where to start? A bit of toxic Mel, angst, sadness, heartbreak, fluff, smut, happy ending. I literally went through a whole rollercoaster of emotions while writing this so good luck!

Words: 7.3k

“What do you mean when you said you chose me?” You ask her.

“I mean if I went home then I would be choosing Gary, and I know I would lose you. If I came here then I would be choosing you and lose Gary.” She tells you. “And I can’t lose you.” She adds on and you look at her shocked.

“But you can lose Gary?” You ask her and she nods.

“He’s not as important as you.” She tells you and you look down at your fingers and twiddle your thumbs. Melissa takes your hand with hers and interlace your fingers and brings her other hand to your chin and gets you to look up at her. “I want to be with you.” She tells you and a tear rolls down your cheek. She wipes the tear and cups your cheek.

“I want to be with you too.” You tell her and you lean forward to kiss her and she leans forward to kiss you back. Once your lips connect you immediately feel that this is right, where you’re supposed to be and you’re already hooked on her.

Melissa is feeling the same way and she puts her hands in your hair and moans. She pushes you back on the couch to deepen the kiss but you stop her.

“Me-Melissa.” You say and she pulls back and looks at you. “We shouldn’t do anything else, you’re still with Gary.” You tell her and leans forward to you and puts her hands in your hair again.

“I don’t care, I’ve wanted you for so long and I don’t want to wait any longer.” She says and kisses you again. She pushes you back again and this time you let her. She’s on top of you now and runs her fingers down your body and you gasp a bit and she slides her tongue in your mouth. You moan at that and she takes her shirt off and you run your hands all over the newly exposed skin. She brings her mouth to your neck and leaves kisses all over it.

“Melissa, do you want to go to the bedroom? Lot more space on the bed.” You suggest and she groans. She then slides her hand under you and pushes you closer to her and she sits up and brings you with her. She then picks you up and she stands up and carries you to the bed. She goes back on top of you and goes and sucks your neck and you gasp and buck your hips. She then unclips her bra and takes it off then takes your shirt off. Her breasts fall out of her bra and are freed from their prison and you set your eyes on them and stare. “Take your pants off.” You tell her and she pulls back from your neck and looks at you before she takes her pants and underwear off. At the same time you take your pants and underwear off. She then goes back to you and all you have on is your bra and she straddles your lap as you’re sitting against the headboard. She gets hit by a wave of desire for you and starts grinding your leg and you go and suck on a nipple. She takes the opportunity to unclip your bra and take it off then places her hands on your boobs.

You then place her between your legs and slide a finger in her entrance and she moans out. You notice she’s tight and you slide another finger in to really fill her and she falls forward into you. “Omg! Yes!” She says and you slide them in and out and quickly go faster. “Omg! That feels so good! Yes! Don’t stop! Oh fuck!” She screams out.

“You’re so tight. Been awhile?” You ask her and she nods. “Hmm, how long?” You ask.

“3…we…weeks.” She says and you smile.

“He has you and is able to go 3 weeks without sex?” You say and she whines. You figure he must have a lower than average sex drive and it must be driving her crazy as 3 weeks is too long for her. “You know, when we get together, I don’t think I’ll be able to go more than 3 days without fucking you.” You tell her and she whines again. You place a hand on her back and pull her closer to you and she moans. You place your thumb on her clit and she gasps. A few seconds later her legs start shaking and you feel her clench around your fingers. “Go on and cum.” You tell her and she comes a couple seconds later. You stop your fingers but she starts riding them and places her thumb between her legs to rub her clit and she must still need more and you smile. “Oh you’re very horny.” You say and she moans. You move your fingers in her again and she gasps. You move her fingers out of the way and place your thumb back on her clit and rub it. She places her hands on your back and has her body pushed right up against you. Her legs start shaking again and she comes seconds later. This time it’s you that doesn’t stop and she cries out as she feels another orgasm building and she’s sensitive. The next one hits not even 30 seconds later and she screams out as she comes. You pull out of her gently and she’s holding on to you tightly and you don’t move as her heart rate slows down. She then slides off of you and down your body and is on her stomach and connects her mouth to your clit.

“I love how you taste.” She tells you and goes right back to licking your clit.

“Ooohhh Mel…omg your tongue feels so good!” You say between gasps. She then slides two fingers in your entrance and you scream out. It doesn’t take long until you come with her name in your mouth. She pulls out of you and comes to lay down beside you.

You cuddle each other for a few minutes until you stop shaking and you’re breathing normally. You then go and get a cloth and you both clean yourself up. Melissa then gets dressed and she gives you another kiss before she leaves to go home to end things with Gary.

When she gets home, she takes a deep breath before getting out of the car and going inside. She sees Gary sitting on the couch and watching tv and he’s looking at her with a smile.

“Hey, you’re home. Where’d you go?” He says without any judgement, just curiosity.

“I went to see y/n.” She said to him and he nods, knowing you two are good friends.

“How is she?” He asks and she walks towards him.

“Good. We need to talk though.” She says and sits on the couch next to him. He turns off the tv and turns to her and gives her his full attention.

Melissa then explains everything, leaving out the part that you two had sex. She tells him about the friendship you two formed and when her feelings for you started. Then she admits that she found out you feel the same and that’s why she went to see you.

“And I feel bad about it cause you’re really good to me and I never wanted to hurt you.” She finishes and Gary looks at her with understanding. He then explains how he knew something was going on with the way you both look at each other. Then explains that he’s always wanted what’s best for her and to support her. Melissa looks at him shocked. She expected for him to be angry, not supportive of what she wants and she’s overwhelmed with it. She realises she doesn’t want to let him go but also doesn’t want to let you go, she doesn’t know what to do.

The next day Melissa and Gary arrive in the break room in the morning and you frown. You thought she was talking to him last night but then thought that maybe she didn’t want to do it on Valentine’s Day.

It did hurt a bit when you also see them at lunch, being all happy but didn’t mention anything. Melissa noticed your reaction all day and she feels guilty, knowing she’ll have to make a decision. At the end of the day you go to see her in her classroom.

“Hey Melissa.” You say to her and she spins around to look at you with a smile.

“Hey y/n.”

“So what’s up?”

“I’m happy that it’s Friday.” She answers and you close her door.

“Ya so am I. I was wondering if you’ve done it yet or are you going to, you know, break up with Gary.” You tell her and she smiles at you.

“Ya, I didn’t want to do it yesterday being as it was Valentine’s Day and a Thursday but I’ll do it. I honestly can’t wait to be with you.” She says and you go and kiss her. She kisses you back and it turns into a heated make out session. You end up getting pushed to her desk and you go and sit on top of it, continuing to make out with her. You then pull back after making out for a few minutes. “I just love kissing you already.” She says and you smile at her.

“I love kissing you too. And I can’t wait until I can kiss you whenever.” You tell her and she smiles at you.

“I’ll let you know when I break up with him.” She says and boops your nose and you giggle.

“Alright, but don’t make me wait long.” You tell her and she gives you another kiss and then you both leave.

You go home and sit on your couch and watch tv for the rest of the day, waiting to see when she’ll text you that she broke up with him. You don’t get a text that evening.

The next day she comes to your place in the morning and you open up the door and smile widely when you see her.

“Morning Melissa, so does this mean it’s done?” You ask her and she looks down at the floor.

“We got to talk.” She says and your smile drops and you tilt your head.

“Um…ok.” You say and let her in.

You both sit on your couch and she takes a few deep breaths before speaking.

“I spoke to Gary on Thursday night after coming back from your place. I told him everything, well except for us having sex. And he was so understanding and supportive and I couldn’t let him go. And now I don’t want to let him go at all but I also don’t want to let you go.” She admits and you look at her. You’re processing everything that she just told you and you sigh.

“So let me see if I got this right. So you lied to me and used me to just get the best of both? For him to meet your emotional needs and sleep with me to meet your sexual needs?” You ask and she nods.

“I’m sorry, I never want to hurt either of you.” She says and you suck in a breath.

“You can’t have both of us Melissa, it’s one or the other.” You tell her and she looks defeated.

“I don’t know who to choose.” She admits and your anger comes out.

“If you can’t choose then that means that you just don’t want to tell me that it’s him you’re choosing.” You say sternly and she goes to answer but you don’t want to hear anymore. “Get out.” You grit through your teeth and she looks taken back by your words. “I said get out!” You yell and point to the door. Melissa is on the verge of tears so she does as you say and leaves.

You immediately block her number and text Ava asking if she has plans tonight. She texts you back and tells you what club she’s going to and if you wanted to tag along. You immediately accept and you go to the bar with her and a couple friends of hers and you get drunk. You dance most of the night and get hit on by men and women. You kiss a couple women and by the end of the night Ava gets you a ride home.

You spend Sunday morning trying to not die and get rid of your major hangover that doesn’t leave until the afternoon. Then you spend the rest of the day doing chores, grading and making a couple changes to your lesson plan.

On Monday morning Melissa tries to talk to you but you shut her down and avoid her. You end up avoiding her all day, which is followed by all week and followed by all month.

At the start, Melissa tries to talk to you every chance she gets and found out quickly that you blocked her. As the days go on with you doing everything to avoid her, her hope and determination of talking to you and trying to make it up to you, goes down. You see she eventually gets the hint and stops trying to talk to you. You see she still glances at you throughout the day but those become fewer and fewer as the days pass. Glances you can handle though, as long as she doesn’t try and talk to you then you can deal with her looking at you.

Eventually she stops looking at you at all and you two are basically just co workers who don’t interact. You start to make friends with other teachers that aren’t friends with Melissa or anyone that is friends with Melissa’s friends. Everyone notices the growing distance between you both and Barb is the first to mention something.

“What’s going on with you and y/n?” Barb asks, about 2 weeks after you started avoiding her.

“Nothing, nothing is going on.” Melissa says with a bit of anger. No one mentions it again but feels bad that Melissa is taking it hard, while you seemed to have moved on easily. Ava did mention that you went out to a club with her and her friends and kissed a couple girls, to which Melissa was shocked and got upset at that.

You want everyone to see that what happened between you and Melissa didn’t heavily affect you but in reality, it crushed you.

About 3 months later, you’re having a rather rough night after a bad date so in a split second decision, you unblock her number. All the texts that she sent you in those 3 months pop up and you’re shocked at the amount of texts there were, probably about 200.

Melissa knew you blocked her number but still chose to text you anyway, it made her feel better and no one tried to stop her.

You read all the messages and you feel like you went on a rollercoaster of emotions. She starts with saying how sorry she is about what happened and that she broke up with Gary a week after. Then she goes on saying that she misses you, she misses having you around her, even just as a friend. She says that she wants to have you back and will do anything to make it up to you.

You start to feel sympathy for her as you read them and then remember what she did and how it made you feel and then go back to angry at her and continue reading.

The texts start to get a bit angry as she’s upset about what happened and obviously going through the 5 stages of grief. She goes on saying a bunch of English and Italian curse words, some directed at you and some about the situation. She then goes and apologises for everything she said, even if you never see the texts she’ll know what she said and would feel bad about it. It takes you a good 2 hours to get through all of them. Her last text being the one that hits the hardest.

Melissa: I know you haven’t seen any of these and might never. But wanted to apologise for everything that happened. For not noticing the signs, not having the courage to admit my feelings, and then putting you through hell and having sex with you. I never wanted to use you, it was never my intention. And I’m sorry about the fact that it took losing you to figure out what I want. I guess it’s true what they say, you never know your lover until you let her go. I spent almost 3 months sending you texts, I don’t even know why, but it made me feel better in a way. But now it’s time to fully let go of everything. I wish you the best luck and life you could have and I’m sorry that I messed it up and won’t get to see you thrive and live your best life. Love, Melissa

You cried so much that night and you think about everything that happened and everything she told you and all the texts she sent you. Melissa on the other hand didn’t notice that all her texts went through to you, even the one she sent a week ago. The one she knew she had to send to finally let you go and move on herself.

A week goes by as if you didn’t read all her texts. You’re debating whether you should talk to her or not and think that you should protect yourself and your heart from her. But on the other hand you think about her texts and how hurt she sounded. You see her throughout the day and see that she’s now mostly healed from what happened and you shouldn’t put each other through that again. You come to the decision that you two will never talk and be in each other's lives again.

That day happens to be the same one that you’re too in your head and don’t see a car coming straight for you. All the teachers are heading out to their cars across the street, as they’re fixing the parking lot. You’re crossing the street and it seems you parked right behind Melissa so you two are heading in the same direction. You start crossing the street as she’s saying goodbye to Barb and about to cross as well. Melissa sees a car coming and you don’t notice as you’re crossing, she immediately starts running towards you, and pushes you out of the way right before the car hits you.

Melissa gets hit by the car instead and goes flying into the windshield. Luckily the driver was slowing down as he noticed you walking out onto the street, he still did damage to Melissa but fortunately didn’t kill her. The driver was able to fully stop and got out to go check on her, as well as Barb who saw the whole thing. You hit the pavement and turned around to see Melissa hitting the windshield and rolling off the car. You run towards her as well, overwhelmed with what just happened. You all go towards her and the driver calls for an ambulance.

“Melissa!” You say as you reach her and she’s unconscious as she hit her head on the windshield.

“Oh my Lord!” Barb says as she reaches you both. You both stay by her until the ambulance arrives.

Janine, Jacob, Gregory, Ava and Mr Johnson end up seeing the commotion before the ambulance arrive and go towards it to see what happened. As they get closer they realise Melissa got hit by the car and they start running.

“Omg what happened?” Janine says and sees you with Melissa’s head in your lap and Barb trying to comfort you.

“All my fault!” You exclaimed through tears.

“No it’s not dear. You forgot to check for cars and didn’t notice the car coming, it happens. But it was Melissa’s decision to push you out of the way and got hit by the car instead of you.” Barb says and Janine and Jacob gasp. Ava puts a hand over her mouth in shock, Gregory and Mr Johnson are too stunned to do anything. They all stay with you until the ambulance arrives.

The ambulance gets there 4 minutes after the call was made and they check her over quickly and say she has to go to the hospital for further examination and treatment. They gently and quickly put her on the stretcher and into the ambulance, and then drive to the hospital.

They all stay next to you as they all watch the ambulance drive Melissa to the hospital. You’re still blaming yourself for what happened and even wish that she didn’t push you out of the way. She shouldn’t pay the consequences for your mistake.

You look defeated and walk towards your car and Barb speaks up. “Dear, do you want to get a ride with me and Gerald to the hospital?” She asks you and you turn around.

“Why would I go to the hospital?” You ask her.

“To go see Melissa.” She says with a gentle tone.

“I’m not going to see her. This is all my fault. I mean why did she even push me out of the way? She should have let me get hit by that car!” You say and everyone but Barb leaves so you and Barb can have privacy.

“Sweetheart, it was Melissa’s decision. And she pushed you out of the way because even though whatever happened between you two happened, she still cares about you and would rather save you then watch you get hurt.” She explains softly.

“We haven’t talked in 3 months because I cut her out of my life! How can she still care about me?” You ask with tears in your eyes.

“Melissa feels deeply for people in her life. Once you find yourself in her life then she has hard time letting go, I saw her struggle with trying to let you go. She never said what happened, all she told me was that she screwed up with you.” Barb tells you and you’re crying at this point but you stay away from her when she tries to comfort you.

“I’m not going to the hospital, it’s my fault she got hurt and I don’t want to hurt her more. I do hope she makes a full recovery quickly though.” You tell her and Barb knows you’re not going to change your mind and lets you go. You go to your car and drive home.

She gets Gerald to drive to the hospital to go see Melissa, as well as the trio. They’re surprised when you don’t show up and Barb tells them that you blame yourself. Melissa does end up waking up a few hours later after the doctors treated her injuries. Janine was the first to notice and makes her way to her side beside Barb as Gregory goes to get a Doctor saying she’s awake.

The doctor asks her a few questions and checks her over again and says that she’s healing properly and should be good to go home in a few days. They did mention she’ll need crutches as she got hit in the leg and they put a cast on her left leg. Once the doctor leaves, the trio stays for about half an hour before heading home. As soon as they leave, that's when Melissa asks Barb about you.

“I’m sorry, I tried to get her to come but she was very against it, saying she doesn’t want to hurt you again, and blaming herself for what happened.” Barb tells her and Melissa groans and puts her head back on the pillow. “If it’s any consolation, she was surprised that you pushed her out of the way. She thought you didn’t care about her anymore.” Barb tells her and Melissa looks at her.

“On Valentine’s Day she was going to see me with flowers and a card to confess her feelings for me. She saw how Gary and I declared our feelings and threw out the flowers and the card in the garbage. I guess she must have kicked it in anger cause the bin was knocked over and I saw the flowers and the card. I went over to her place right after and we both confessed our feelings.” Melissa is finally telling Barb what happened. “But then I screwed up. We didn’t hold back and we…we had sex. Then I promised her to go and break up with Gary. I went to do that, like I talked to him about it all but the way he was supportive and understanding made me not want to let him go since it’s been so long since I had a partner like that.” Melissa says and Barb nods in understanding. “She came and talked to me the next day and I promised again to break up with him. But then on Saturday I went over to her house and told her the truth and I said I couldn’t choose between them. She got angry and told me to get out.” Melissa finishes. “That’s what happened.”

“Melissa, you made a mistake, I mean my god. You and y/n are both putting blame on yourselves for making a mistake because you’re human.” Barb says. “It’s not your fault that Gary’s support and understanding made you feel good and left you confused because Joe kept hurting you. And it’s not y/n’s fault that she got distracted and didn’t notice the car coming at her and the fact that you pushed her out of the way and got hit instead.” Barb says and Melissa sniffles. “She got so mad at herself that she wished you just let her get hit.” Barb tells her and Melissa looks at her in shock. “I know you wouldn’t have let that happen and I told her that. But something tells me that there’s more to y/n’s side than she was letting on.” Barb tells her and Melissa goes to her phone to go to your texts to see pictures you sent her. And that’s when her face pales instantly. “What?” Barb asks when she sees Melissa’s face.

“They sent. All the texts that I sent her got delivered. That means she unblocked my number and she must have read them or at least a few of them. Probably not all since I sent a lot.” Melissa says and rambles a bit.

“Do you know when she unblocked your number.” Barb asks.

“It says it was delivered…last week.” Melissa says the last 2 words quietly.

“You know I did notice that she was distracted this week and that she looked at you a few times.” Barb says, knowing that you acted differently this week but didn’t say anything. When you cut Melissa out, you also cut out her, the trio, Ava and Mr Johnson, pretty much everyone in Melissa’s life from school.

A week goes by and Melissa returns back after that. The cast has to stay on her leg for a month and then a brace after for another month. She’s using crutches that she learned to use in the hospital during her stay there.

You secretly spy on her for a week when she returns and you see her get frustrated a few times about her limitations. You stay away though, thinking it’s the best course of action. You even hand Ava your notice, saying after the school year ends in a month, you’re not coming back. Ava accepts the notice but never approves you leaving, she said she’ll put it through on the last day.

On the second week that Melissa returns, she moves one of the crutches wrong, causing her to slip and fall. You happened to be right behind her and you caught her. It took both of you a second to figure out what happened and you lock eyes when you help her back up.

“Thank you.” She tells you and you look down at the ground before looking back up.

“I should be thanking you, this would have been me if you didn’t push me.” You say and she stares at you. This is the first time you guys talk to each other in over 3 months. “Melissa, why did you push me? Why didn’t you just let me get hit?” You ask, the guilt eating away at you.

“Why would I let you get hit? I care about you and I don’t want to see you hurt, especially if I could prevent it.” She says. “I’ll take having to walk around in a cast and with crutches, and cursing when I can’t do something the same way for a bit, if it means that you don’t have too.” She tells you genuinely and you’re speechless.

“How have you been getting to school and back?” You suddenly ask and she tilts her head at you, confused.

“Barb and Gerald have been driving me. They let me sit in the passenger seat to have room for my leg, and they help me in and out of the car.” She explains.

“Can I drive you home tonight?” You blurt out and it takes both of you by surprise. “To give them a break and as a thank you for saving me.” You tell her and she smiles.

“You don’t have to thank me.” She tells you.

“I do actually. I don't know many people who would save someone from getting hit by a car and let themselves get hit instead.” You tell her and she looks down and blushes.

“If you really want, then sure. I’m sure Gerald and Barb would like the break.” She says and you nod.

“Ok, I’ll come to your classroom after school then.” You say and she nods and you walk to your classroom. Melissa watches you walk away and she sighs contentedly. Maybe she can make it up to you after all.

Ava saw the interaction and passes by Melissa. “You might want to interact with her while you still can.” Ava tells her and Melissa looks at her confused.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asks.

“It means that she gave her notice a couple days ago. After the year is done then she’s not coming back.” Ava tells Melissa, and if she didn’t have crutches then she would have fallen right there.

“She’s leaving?” Melissa mutters but Ava hears her and nods.

“Like I said, interact with her while you still can. There’s 3 weeks until school is done.” Ava says and walks away.

Melissa feels like the weight that once crushed her 3 months ago came back. You were leaving Abbott in 3 weeks and she didn’t know why. She thought you loved it here.

At the end of the day, she’s sitting at her desk when you come and knock on her door that’s open, signalling your presence.

“Ready to go?” You ask and she looks at you. You were probably never going to tell her that you’re leaving, this favour you’re doing is the only thing that you’ll probably do as a thank you before leaving. You were probably just going to finish up the last 3 weeks, and not mention to anyone that you’re leaving. And just leave them to figure it out when they don’t see you again. A bit of anger courses through her at that.

“Why are you leaving?” She asks you and you look at her stunned. You told Ava to not tell anyone, you just want to leave quietly.

“Ava couldn’t keep her mouth shut I see.” You say and her face gets more stern. “I’ll tell you in the car.” You say and she takes that compromise. You help her up and then walk beside her all the way to your car. You take her crutches and help her stay up as she gets in the car and then put the crutches in the back seat.

You get in and start the car and start the way to her house. You see her looking at you and you sigh and take a breathe before answering her question.

“I’m leaving because I have too ok.” You start and she looks confused. “I don’t belong here anymore. I made a couple friends with teachers but nothing too serious. I feel lonely here and all the students and teachers know that you got hit because you saved me. Do you know how many weird looks I get from people daily? I lose count. And I feel guilty everytime I see you or when I hear your crutches. You’re the only one who made me feel welcomed when I got here, and then I cut you and everyone you know at Abbott out of my life. So now I have no one. I figured it was best to leave and just start fresh.” You tell her.

“And you weren’t going to tell anyone?” She asks.

“There’s no one to tell.” You tell her casually and with a shrug. That got to her, the way you said, like you accepted it.

“You told Ava not to tell anyone.” She says.

“That’s because I didn’t want anyone asking why I’m leaving.” You say and glance at her.

“How many of my texts did you read?” She blurts out and she sees you tense. “I saw they got delivered to you, a week before the accident.” She tells you and you sigh.

“I came home after a bad date and I felt vulnerable so I unblocked your number.” You tell her and she gets surprised by you having a date, that means you’re dating again. Melissa decided to break up with Gary and swore off dating forever, not wanting the drama and pain it causes. “I read all of them.” You admit and her eyes go wide. She thought you would never see a single one and it was her way of therapy for losing you.

“I thought you would never see them.” She says and looks down.

“Well whatever the reason you sent so many must have helped as you moved on.” You tell her and snaps her head up at you. “You said so in the last text and you seemed lighter, the week before the accident.” You say. “It’s part of the reason why I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.” You admit.

“What are the other reasons?” She can’t help but ask.

“The fact that I cut you out of my life and you eventually stopped trying to talk to me. I thought you’re the queen of cutting people out and not having any emotional attachment to people that you cut out. Also, I thought you’d be happy with Gary and forget about me.” You tell her and that stung her.

“I broke up with me and I swore off dating.” She tells you and you let out an airy laugh.

“Ya right. Melissa, I know you, you want to be loved, you want to spend your days with someone. For them to give you physical affection and you love cooking for people that you love and want to show that you care.” You tell her.

“You’re right, I want to spend my days with the right person. But that person cut me out of her life because I fucked it up.” She tells you and you’re glad there’s a red light or else you might have made a mistake while driving. “So yes, I gave up because I didn’t see a point.” She tells you and you turn into her neighbourhood. You’re silent for the minute it takes until you pull up in her driveway and then you turn to look at her.

“Why didn’t you choose me then?” You ask her. “I gave you a choice. You told me on Valentine’s Day that you chose me then 2 days later you said you're not choosing me anymore.” You obviously still have anger about what happened.

“I went home and did start to talk to Gary to break up with him. But I never got so much support and understanding that I got from him from anyone else, including Joe. It felt nice and I got confused. I broke up with him a week later but by then it was too late, I already lost you.” She says and a tear rolls down her cheek from remembering how it felt to lose you. “Y/n, it took me 3 months to not always feel the pain of losing you. All I wanted was to talk to you, for you to have me back in any way that you were comfortable with, because I just wanted you in my life. I looked lighter like I moved on but I didn’t, it seemed like that because I was adjusting to life without you, I was finally forcing myself to accept that you weren’t going to be in my life again.” She tells you and looks you in the eyes. “Then I saw that car coming right for you and you didn’t notice. So before I even thought about it, I was running towards you and pushed you to safety, knowing it was you or me that was going to get hit. And I chose for me to get hit, because I care about you. And honestly, if I knew everything that was going to happen, I would have still done it.” She tells you and a tear rolls down your cheek.

She goes to wipe it away but you beat her to it. You turn away from her and wipe your eyes. “Come on, I’ll help you get to your house then I’ll leave you be.” You tell her and she grabs your arm and you look at her.

“You have never been in my way. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I regret not breaking up with Gary when I should have, I regret not choosing you when you gave me the option. There’s so many things I regret and they all centre around you. I regret all the things that made me lose you.” She tells you sternly, making you understand the importance of what she’s saying. You look at her and see how vulnerable she’s being and you’re stunned, she’s never this vulnerable to anyone. Without thinking, you lean in and kiss her. Melissa is stunned for a second then kisses you back. She missed you and even though she only had a few kisses with you, she still remembered what it was like and missed being intimate with you. You pull back a few seconds later with fear in your eyes. “What’s wrong?” She asks you as soon as she sees your eyes.

“I don’t know what came over me. I mean we’re both trying to move on and then I go and do that.” You say and she laughs. You look at her and furrow your eyebrows, confused as hell.

“Oh y/n, I gave you a whole love confession and you think I could ever move on from you?” She asks and your brain goes blank. “You’re adorable. You’re so smart but so clueless. I love you y/n, I always will. No matter what happens, my heart will belong to you.” She tells you and she cups your cheek. “Whether you forgive me or not, whether we’re ever together or never together, if you cut me out of your life forever or let me back in. Even if you break my heart or decide to spend your life with someone else and I have to watch. I will always love you. These past 3 months, I’ve been loving you from a distance. Every day it broke my heart but I never stopped loving you.” She tells you.

“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. And I’ve watched so many romance movies and read so many romance novels, been to multiple weddings and never heard anything as sweet as that.” You tell her and she gives you a watery smile. She goes to pull her hand back when you don’t react further but you grab it and place it back on your cheek and lean into her touch. You undo your seatbelt and lunge forward and kiss her.

“Woah!” She says as it takes her by surprise. Your lips land on hers and she immediately kisses you back. You pull back after a few seconds and look at her.

“I love you too.” You simply say and she smiles. “I’m not even going to attempt a speech because it will never come close to yours.” You tell her and she giggles.

“I don’t need one. I know how you feel about me. I see it in your eyes and feel it in your kisses.” She tells you.

“You should seriously stop talking, because you’re saying all the sweetest things.” You say and she gives you a kiss.

“As much as I would love to stay in this car with you, my butt is going numb.” She tells you and you get out of the car, grab her crutches and open her door. She uses you to push herself up and balances herself with the crutches. You help her into her house and onto her couch. You feel out of place here and you don’t really know what else to do so you say goodbye.

“Well if you don’t need anything else then I’ll just go.” You tell her and she tilts her head at you.

“You don’t want to stay?” She asks.

“Well do you need help with anything else?” You ask.

“You don’t have to help me with something as a reason to stay.” She tells you and sees the conflict in your eyes. “Well it would help if you stayed. Keep me company cause I’ve been really bored. Sitting here most of the evening with nothing to do. I can’t even cook a lot because that requires two hands and perfect timing. And I wouldn’t mind some cuddles. You were right about that too, I crave physical affection from a partner.” She tells you and you make your way over and sit beside her on the couch. You don’t miss the way she beams when you decide not to leave.

“I knew you were a big softie.” You tease and she glares at you.

“If you tell anyone-”

“You’ll what?” You counter and raise your eyebrows, questioning her threat.

“Well I wouldn’t do anything to you but I’ll have to kill them.” She says and you laugh, knowing her threat is empty.

“I do forgive you btw, for what happened. Do you forgive me for what happened to you?” You ask her and she’s confused.

“Y/n, there was nothing to forgive, you didn’t do anything.”

“If I paid attention then it wouldn’t have forced you to save me.” You tell her.

“Y/n, like I said there’s nothing to forgive, but if it makes you feel better then I forgive you.” She tells you and you hug her. You have your arms wrapped around her neck and body pressed to hers. She puts her hands on your back cautiously then hugs you back. Feeling this is more intimate than any kiss she had with her exes. It’s a hug full of love, of promise to not letting each other go again. And you both keep that promise till death do you part.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

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Let me know if you want to be added!

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

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nightgoodomens · 2 days

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God i'm in love with that podcast and here's why (which nobody asked for)

1) It was the PERFECT example of banter and taking the piss.

Michael: " He's far too egotistical to let me now the parts that i got over him. That shows what the relationship is like" Bang. David crashes his podcast with " what can i say that he didn't say about himself." Back and forth people, back and forth! And with that much sweetness and affection underneath that you could feel it in their voices. ( tone matters while joking)

2) I loved how David has the best descriptions for him. He spent the whole podcast being unapologetically welsh, witty and clever af, kind, sensitive and caring about other people and David summed it up with " The world would be a lot less welsh without him." Also "he wasn't to everyone's taste but i've ALWAYS quite liked him" You sure David? Or you just want it all to yourself?😏

3) I was laughing so hard imagining antis when he said you could just fill your head with nice things and revel in the brilliance of it all or you could stew in your envy and misery and hatred. UP TO YOU! He unintentionally came up with the best roast 😂

5)It should go without saying but who would you want to do your euology for you? The love of your life. The one person who knows you the most. Who did Michael chose? Right

I am sitting here with such a massive grin since I listened to this podcast this morning, it made my day. Everything you listed! The banter, they go back and forth so easily and with such affection. The roasting Michael did. All the mentions of David. David saying he always liked him. Without a blink saying David is his favourite costar. Wanting David to be both Aziraphale and Crowley reminded me when he said he wouldn’t want to be Aziraphale without David as Crowley… I cracked up with the he wants his haters at his funeral so they can see how loved he was and they can stew in their hate, because it’s basically what I’ve been saying about haters too 😂 And, yes, the eulogy… who else if not the love of your life… David.

And even the description of the episode summarising Michael as egg custard, David Tennant, and snagging fetish…

Also have you noticed how he used “relationship” for David? Just a little thing, considering he was specific with others.

Fantastic podcast.

#NightGoodOmens talks Michael and David

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kitcat22 · 3 days

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Consumed with thoughts on Earendil, Elwing and their relationship with their sons and grandchildren.

Like… you lose your children. At first you think they are dead, that they have been murdered in cold blood, slaughtered by monsters like so many innocent children before them. You agonise over it, imagining there last moments, if they knew what was happening, how scared they were, if they thought nanna and ada would save them. You grieve and you mourn, you rage at the injustice and rally against it, you tear down one of the evils that loomed of your children their entire life and wish you could take vengeance on the other.

You think that if your children do meet the fate of elves and you pray that they do, you will see them reborn into a world that is safe for them, devoid of hunger and fear and lurking monsters.

But then your children are alive. They survived. They lived as prisoners, hostages and if rumours are to be believed as the adoptive sons of their captors. All this time you thought they were dead not knowing they were waiting on you to rescue them. You did not know that the monsters had kept them and you do not know what the monsters did to them while they had them.

When you learnt this it felt like the world had stopped that you have been left to hold your breath in anticipation for what is to come. You wait by the docks and you listen to the rumours and messengers that pass through them. You fill your tower with all of the things you knew they loved. You paint their walls with murals and make sure their beds are always prepared. In the end though, the seats you prepared for them at your dinner table remain empty for millennia. That is how long it takes for your child to return to you.

Child singular because though both of your children managed to make it through the horrors that formed their lives, only one chose to continue surviving. The news of this hurts, hurts so deeply you think it might never stop hurting. You have felt this pain before but it has not dulled since then, perhaps it has worsened.Once you had a child that you knew like the back of your hand, then he became an adult that you didn’t know, and the he became nothing but memory and history books. You will never get to relearn him personally, that chance is beyond you now by your child’s own choosing. You wonder if he thought of you when he made that choice, whether he knew how much it would hurt. Still, he made the decision he thought best for himself and for that you are proud even in your pain.

The child that returns to you, that beautiful precious child that you could not protect, returns to you as an adult. Like with his brother you missed every moment of his life. You missed his first love, his coming of age, his marriage, the birth of his children. He comes to you almost a stranger.

You can still see who you knew him to be, you see the curiosity of a child that liked to stick his head in books and ask a thousand questions and you see the kindness and empathy of a little boy who wept endlessly at broken winged birds, taking them in his small hands and singing sweet little tunes until they were healed. Now though he seems to be broken winged bird in his own right. The years and all of their burdens have weighed heavy on him, his face may be ever youthful but his fea seems ancient and most of his early time in Aman is spent resting and recovering. He does not know you either, he is unfamiliar with you and though sociable and friendly he seems just as lost as you.

He comes without his daughter. It is a strange thought on its own for your baby to have hits own baby but to know that his own child has been lost to him and you is a pain all too familiar. Here is another granddaughter you will never know to go with all of your dead son’s long dead children. Your grandsons do at least come home eventually but it makes your heart twist uncontrollably to look at them, to see two identical faces and not want to weep for what you have lost.

It does get better eventually. Your son heals, the weight on his shoulders lightens and he walks and dances and sings in merriment once more. You memorise his favourite foods and when you cook them for him and he receives these meals with fondness in his eyes. He tells you of his life, all of the awful parts but all of the good parts too and by the end you think you know him again. You no longer flinch when you look at your grandsons and they are no longer so uncomfortable around you. When you tell your own memories they mock your age but listen wide eyed. Your dinner table is occupied and noisy for the first time in its existence. You sit on the golden beaches outside your home watching your son throw his own sons around in the ocean while they all laugh endlessly and the world seems to be colourful again. You think this must be what it is to be content.

#silmarillion #silm #the silm #the silmarillion #silm writing #earendil #elwing #elros tar minyatur #elros #elrond #elrond peredhel #arwen undomiel #arwen #elrohir #elladen

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cosmicjoke · 2 days

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Levi and Zeke and the Way "Bad Boy" Demonstrates How Empathy Can Overcome Hardship:

One other point I want to make about how “Bad Boy” demonstrates Levi’s inherent goodness is by comparing what we realize is Levi’s single, good remembered experience with his mother, to Zeke’s own, multiple good experiences growing up, and how through their responses to those experiences, and through their divergent outcomes, we once again see the prevailing of nature over nurture in the world of “Attack on Titan”.

Zeke had numerous, clear and solid memories of being loved and cared for, both by Mr. Ksavar and by his grandparents. He had the love of Mr. Ksavar in his life into his late teens, and of his grandparents throughout his entire adulthood. Mr. Ksavar would play catch with Zeke and spend quality time with him just for the pleasure of his company and because he cared about Zeke’s well-being. And we see Zeke’s grandparents overjoyed at Zeke’s safe return from Marley’s war with the East, greeting him upon reentering Liberio, plainly relieved. They clearly loved him deeply. It's interesting to note, though, how Zeke could never see it. He was blind to it, and dismissive of it, because Zeke was always filled with this bitter hate, too wrapped up in his anger toward Grisha to notice he was loved by others all along, too addicted to his resentment to appreciate and cherish the love he had. He rather chose to believe he was unwanted and uncared for, giving in to the world’s cruelty because he was always cruel himself.

Levi, by contrast, had no clear or solid memory of his mother. All Levi had was a vague impression of her beauty. Of her elegance. A single memory from early childhood of them sharing tea together, and her smiling at him. We know it's only a vague impression that remains of her, because Levi says so, that the only thing he remembers clearly of her is her elegance, and also through the fact that, from Levi's perspective, we never see a fully clear shot of Kuchel's face. And yet, despite the obvious hardship of their lives together, the poverty and despair and deprivation, the filth of their surroundings and the hopelessness of their circumstances, and despite his final experience with his mother being one of pointless death and suffering, he remembered her with great fondness, and fought to preserve her in his memory. He held on to his one, good memory of her with fierce dedication and cherished it with all his heart, even romanticized it in his mind as being better than it surely was. Because Levi was always filled with kindness and compassion and gratitude, and always believed in those things, in spite of the suffering in his life. He even rebelled against the ugliness of the world by refusing to give up his one, good memory to it. He refused to give in to the world’s cruelty because he was always a good person.

And yet, it’s clear to me that that fleeting image of kindness from his mother wouldn't have been enough to overcome the years of cruelty, abuse and violence Levi was subjected to afterward unless Levi himself was already predisposed to being kind and compassionate. If he wasn’t simply naturally empathetic.

Levi’s childhood, I think, is meant to be directly contrasted with Zeke’s in particular.

Levi had a worse life than Zeke, and a worse childhood, by far, and yet, he remained a good man.

Zeke, by comparison, became an ever-increasingly bad man.

"Bad Boy" in many ways demonstrates to us how one’s nature, ultimately, is what decides who we are, not our environment, and also, I believe, how empathy, and the presence of empathy in our hearts, is what ultimately makes us strong, not weak.

Our environment can serve as a trigger for certain aspects of our natures and personalities coming out and manifesting, but it's never the root cause. It’s never the thing that creates those aspects of our personality. Those things have to be inborn. We have to have a predisposition to developing them. The same as how certain people are more predisposed to developing certain diseases than others.

It was Levi's inborn nature that allowed him to overcome the brutality of his childhood. An inborn strength, rooted in his inborn empathy.

Anyone who thinks Levi is weak for having been a victim, and for continuing to be impacted by the abuse he suffered, completely misses the entire point of this story. It's Levi's empathy that makes him strong. And yes, his sensitivity of heart makes him such that he's deeply impacted by and affected by his traumas. And yet, that in itself is the symbol of his strength. It's exactly because Levi is still impacted and still suffers the trauma of what he went through as a child, but in spite of that, continues to be the kindest, most compassionate character in the story, that marks him out as "humanity's strongest". It was always his heart that earned him that title, not his physical ability. That's what this story is, at it's center, actually about.

In contrast, we see demonstrated for us Zeke’s weakness.

Zeke allowed his childhood experiences to bring out his own, inherent cruelty. Zeke gave in to the cruel circumstances of his upbringing because of an inborn lack of empathy, and an inborn narcissism.

After all, one of the defining traits of narcissism is a lack of empathy.

"Bad Boy" demonstrates in the most stark terms a direct contrast between Levi’s childhood and Zeke’s, as well as Levi’s and Eren’s, and shows us how much stronger Levi always was than either of them.

Empathy, and the importance of empathy, is one of the core themes of AoT as a whole. So, it makes sense that the presence, or lack of it in each of these respective characters would serve to demonstrate that theme by showing us where each of them ends up as a result of either having or lacking empathy.

Through the divergence in Levi’s and Zeke’s paths, we see how it is that empathy actually makes us stronger, not weaker. We see how those with sensitive and kind hearts are the ones with true strength.

I think we also see this contrast between Levi and Zeke in their respective views of their abusive parental figures.

For Zeke, even his perception of his mother’s and father’s treatment of him is warped by his lack of empathy. Because, while they were certainly extremely abusive toward him, they still treated him as special and even necessary, not as unwanted or uncared for. He hated them, and particularly, he hated Grisha, and even wanted to exact revenge on him by accomplishing the exact opposite of what Grisha fought for, by destroying the Eldian race entirely. That is, for Zeke, really the underlying, root cause of his euthanasia plan, despite what he says about wanting to end other people's suffering. Zeke was absolutely convinced, through his self-absorption, that his parents didn’t want him, despite them never, really sending him that message, and he essentially decided to take his bitterness over that belief out on everyone else.

This is supported, I think, by the fact that Mr. Ksavar, whom Zeke got his antinatalism philosophy from, didn’t impart that philosophy to Zeke until Zeke was nearly full-grown, well out of any truly vital, childhood developmental stage. And Zeke’s idea to euthanize the Eldian race didn’t come from Mr. Ksavar at all. That was entirely Zeke’s own brainchild, rooted again, I think, in his desire to get back at Grisha, by destroying what he thought was Grisha’s dream. More important to note, still, is that before all this, Mr. Ksavar actually sent the distinct message to Zeke that his life mattered and that he was loved and wanted by telling him to turn his parents in to the authorities to save himself. He sent Zeke the message that his life was more important than his parents, that Mr. Ksavar himself saw it as a fair exchange, Grisha’s and Dina’s lives for Zeke’s.

For Levi, despite Kenny’s abuse and eventual abandonment of him, and despite introducing brutal violence and a disdain for life into Levi’s world by exposing him to and teaching him the practice of killing other human beings for sport, Levi never actually developed any, real hatred for Kenny, and never sought to exact any sort of vengeance on him, despite the trauma he subjected him to. And Kenny, by abandoning Levi without any explanation, truly did send Levi the message that he was unwanted. And yet, Levi never blamed Kenny for abandoning him. He never blamed Kenny for not wanting him. He blamed himself. He thought it was something inherently wrong in himself that made Kenny leave, some inherent lack of worth in himself. Despite all that, Levi still held the strong belief that the lives of others mattered. That the lives of others were worth protecting and preserving and fighting for.

Again, that comes down to empathy.

Levi was shown just as much as Zeke that his life was worthless; through his environment, through his upbringing, and through the people he found himself surrounded by growing up, through their treatment of him. And we see that feeling of worthlessness in Levi demonstrated in “Bad Boy” through his plain suicidal ideation and actions.

But we never see Levi project that sense of worthlessness onto others the way Zeke does.

Again, because he has empathy. Because it’s a quality he was born with.

Levi is able to see and recognize the thoughts, feelings and desires of people outside of himself. Because he’s able to see and recognize other people as individuals, and because he doesn’t need to be able to directly relate to or see himself in people in order to respect them and acknowledge them as legitimate and real. He doesn’t need to be able to directly relate to other people in order to connect with them.

Zeke wasn’t able to do that because Zeke never had empathy. It was a quality he was born without. It’s why Zeke believes so strongly that the lives of everyone are worthless. Because he’s unable to recognize that just because he feels and believes his own life is worthless, that doesn’t make it true for others. It’s why he’s unable to understand that his own experiences, beliefs and feelings don’t give him the right decide that for others. It's why he does project his feelings onto everyone else, and why he sees everyone else as suitable tools for enacting his revenge against Grisha.

Because he’s incapable of, and further, unwilling to see or recognizing the thoughts, feelings or desires of anyone outside himself. Because he’s incapable of seeing them as individuals. Because he needs to be able to recognize himself in other people in order to respect them and acknowledge them as legitimate and real.

It’s why Eren is the only person Zeke ever pretends to love and care about, because he sees Eren as an extension of himself, as someone who went through the exact same experiences as him, and so, as the only person capable of understanding and worthy of sharing in his master plan. It’s why, in the end, Eren was able to manipulate Zeke so easily. Because Zeke didn’t see Eren as a real person, or as an individual outside of himself. He couldn’t conceive of Eren having his own thoughts, feelings or desires, because to him, Eren was just an empty vessel for him to project his own thoughts, feelings and desires onto. The same way Zeke did with everyone, in the end.

Again, that comes down to a lack of empathy.

I think all of this demonstrates the fundamental difference between Levi and Zeke, and proves beyond doubt that, though their upbringings and the environments they were raised in definitely had an impact on certain, surface-level qualities in their characters, their most essential, core selves are fully the product of their inherent natures and innate personalities.

Levi overcame the wretched circumstances of his childhood because he always had empathy in his heart. Because he was always innately kind and compassionate.

Zeke was unable to overcome the wretched circumstances of his childhood because he always lacked empathy. Because he was always innately narcissistic and cruel.

#Levi Ackerman #Zeke Yeager #Bad Boy #bad boy spoilers #analysis #commentary #meta

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