#and it's like. adam IS genuinely trying to understand where michael's coming from. he DOES understand michael's love for his father | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

red-doll-face · 3 years

Note

Here is a request for slashers if they're open. My brain does a thing where I am affectionate w a person but if I get nudged away (even if it's just to readjust the position), it goes "oh no. They don't want u to touch them. Do not touch ever again or they will get mad at u. U disgust them." Even tho touch is my love language & it hurts, I just won't touch. If confronted, I will get confused & panicky cuz "u didn't want me to touch? Im respecting ur wishes? Did I miss something?" Its a mess.

Requests are indeed open, I’m sorry I take foreverrr to do these but i hope u enjoy! I don’t know what to call this tho. For simplicity’s sake I’m calling this nervous reader lmao, idk what else to call these.

Slashers x gn nervous Reader

Jason Voorhees:

Jason can very much relate to the feeling. When he first meets you, he’s sure that you’re frightened. He restrains from being too close to avoid coming off as overbearing, doesn't want to touch you because if you flinch he’ll be so hurt. He just assumes he disgusts you. Based on the reaction all of his other victims have when they see him, he’s sure you’ll probably be the same.

Once Jason is sure that you don't feel that way, he’s a cuddle monster. He wants to be close all of the time, holding hands, letting you sit in his lap, you name it. He’s so starved and quickly decides that touch is his love language too. He’s not even sure how he’s lived this long without it.

The only time I can see Jason maybe gently sort of setting you down elsewhere and walking off is when he senses strangers on the property of what once was Crystal Lake. He’s out the door before he can even see your hurt expression, Which is worse because this might lead you to jump to conclusions.

If you distance yourself from Jason, he immediately is thrown off. He can’t directly ask you if he’s done something wrong and when he tries to initiate affection with you and you don’t reciprocate whole heartedly, he’s at a loss.

He’ll get on one knee while you sulk on the couch and give you a silent plea to tell him what's wrong. You can panic and try and avoid it but he is certain there's something going on and he wants so badly to know what he’s done to put you off. You tell him and he immediately is shaking his head no, he could never be mad at you, never be disgusted with you. You’re the most breathtaking person he’s ever had the pleasure of holding, the first, most likely.

Jason nods because he understands how you feel. In the future, he’s persistent about how you feel when he untangles himself from you, making sure you’re ok.

Michael Myers:

In the later stages of your relationship, Michael is insatiable when it comes to being in contact with you. For a long time, towards the start of your relationship, he didn’t like it. It felt weird. All of the touch he's experienced prior was so clinical and sterile that he doesn’t quite know how good touch is supposed to feel. He’s so touch starved that he’s almost positive he doesn't even need it.

Slowly, he builds a tolerance for it, much like one does with alcohol, constantly checking his boundaries and letting him control the situation and he’s all for movie night, huddled up on the couch, or waking up with his head on your chest. His own personal pillow.

There are, however, moments when his need to make someone tremble with fear and then blodgeon them to death with a can opener from their own kitchen becomes too strong, so he tries to keep away from you. In the past, he might have used you to satisfy similar desires of a sexual nature and may have really hurt you but he knows that it’s not always enjoyable to you.

Then, you stop touching him. Much like Jason, he starts to think you’ve become sick of him. Sick of his coldness, his muteness, his withdrawn demeanor. Maybe you’ve moved on and he tries to tell himself he doesn’t care but he doesn't think he can see himself touching anyone but you now.

It gets to the point where he comes home one day and you look heavily troubled, expressions he’s seen on your face before, only in the event that something terrible has happened. You ask to speak to him and he obliges.

You explain that you don’t think this relationship is working, that you’re pretty sure he’s disgusted with you and how difficult this event is because you didn't even want to talk about it but it's been hurting you for too long.

His response is to stand up very slowly, pick you up and lay down with you over him, simply laying there. Hopefully, knowing you’re the one person he would ever allow to participate in this intimacy is enough to show you that you mean more than you think you do to him.

RZ Michael Myers:

This Michael is more perceptive to your touch than his counterpart, your touch sends little shivers down his spine and as soon as he gets pretty used to it, he’s eager for more. This also takes some time but significantly less. He’s enamored with the idea of returning to a somewhat normal life. Your affection grounds him in that fantasy as much as being a murderer might take him out of it.

As he establishes a relationship with you, he may even be the one to start touching you instead of the other way around. He’s read books and always wondered what it might feel like to have someone genuinely touch him without fear in their eyes. Without malice.

An unsuccessful ‘day at work’ might have Michael feeling a little het up though. He can be moody and more rageful. Neither you nor his hobbies can calm him. He seems colder than usual in these states and can come off as very standoffish.

So when you try and touch him and he shrugs your hand off his shoulder, he can’t or isn't in the state of mind to address your frown and worried look. Michael, instead stomps off somewhere to be alone for a while; maybe take his anger out on something else. Some unsuspecting soul or maybe even a poor animal in the wrong place at the wrong time.

After he’s calmed down some, he returns and almost forgot about that sad little gleam in your eye before he left. Michael remembers when he sees you blankly staring at the TV, pointedly avoiding his gaze even as you utter a weak welcome home. It’s not very welcoming. He sits stiffly beside you, watching you from the corner of his eye. You’re closed off from him and he doesn't like it at all.

Migrating towards you slowly, he eases you into a familiar hug, his big bear hugs that are a little tight but inviting all the same. His huge torso and long arms seem to swallow you in his warmth. You hardly reciprocate. You look a little surprised. Though he never addresses it verbally, (which is probably better for you) Michael offers a single glance that communicates everything he needs to say. Don't ever think that again.

Thomas B. Hewitt:

Thomas’ self esteem issues and self image are not good. He honestly doesn’t like to imagine what he looks like to other people unless it can be as a threatening man you don’t fuck with. Meeting you, he realizes that it’s good to protect his family but he’d rather you not see him as someone only capable of harm. Tries his best to get the point across that while Hoyt may be adamant that horrible things happen to you, he’s not going to let them.

Thomas has received affection but always a familial affection. A pat on the back from Monty, proud claps to his shoulders from uncle Charlie, and hugs and kisses from his dear Mother. Nothing so foreign as a strangers touch over his arm or a soft embrace.

Unfortunately, Thomas can get reactive when you attempt to touch him without his mask on. He’s absolutely settled on the false reality that you’ll see his face and immediately decide that you never want to touch him again. Interacting with you with his bare face? That's a no for Thomas.

He puts on his mask that covers the scarred skin over his face and you look dejected. He was preparing for you to pressure him but instead finds himself trying to find out why you won’t touch him now. It’s not his face, is it? You respond with your reasoning. Thomas is so confused. How could you think that you disgust him? That he doesn’t want you to touch him?

He’s quicker than the others and immediately sweeps you up into his arms and holds you as close as humanly possible. Feeling disgusting and like some sort of burden is a feeling he’s so familiar with and if he can take it away from you, he will.

Will aggressively initiate touch with you for the next week or so just to solidify the fact that he cares about you and won't reject you just as you didn’t reject him.

Bubba Sawyer:

Bubba is a great cuddle buddy and partner. Hugs are his favorite and he hugs his brother all the time, lifting both Nubbins and Chop Top into the air for some brotherly love. If you’re smaller than them he’s all about picking you up and perhaps a little rough housing with you. He’s careful though or at least there are attempts made to be careful

Bubba, though he could easily spend the whole day doing nothing and everything with you, has work. Chores, butchering. Cooking, and tending livestock. Plenty to do at the sawyer house and he does most of it. Suffice to say there are times when you want to lather attention all over him yet he has to go back to work.

So caught up in work that he doesn't get what's going on til way later, when you’ve had time to stew in your emotions, firmly telling yourself that Bubba is annoyed by you probably. He’s baffled and confused at your silence, your crossed arms. The little furrow in your brow. He can already tell there’s something upsetting you.

Honestly, Bubba is so affectionate I can’t see him being the kind of person even capable of alluding to the fact he might be disgusted by you. How, if all he wants to do is love you? You may bring it up as a joke that you thought he didn’t like you and he almost seems offended. Not like you?

Bubba can squash any feelings you may have about that and then some. He will not let you drown in insecurities, not on his watch. This man will do everything in his power to make you feel beautiful because you really are.

I’m sorry these are super long but thanks for requesting!

#slasher x reader #michael myers #michael myers x reader #halloween #rz halloween movie #rz michael myers #rz michael myers x reader #jason voorhees #jason voorhees x reader #friday the 13th #thomas brown hewitt x reader #thomas brown hewitt #thomas hewitt #bubba sawyer x reader #bubba sawyer #leatherface x reader #texas chainsaw massacre #slashers

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theconstantsidekick · 3 years

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What about Adam Milligan for the character breakdown?

Oh OH. 1. Thanks for asking. 2. WE LOVE ADAM MILLIGAN IN THIS HOUSEHOLD.

Okay so.

How I feel about this character

I freaking love him. I mean, he was just a kid. He was literally just a young man. Barely a whole adult and he was fucking yeeted into the conflict that had nothing to do with him. The only fault he ever had was being related to the Winchester Clan. The poor boy didn't even get to rest in peace. He died and then was forcefully PULLED out of his perfect little heaven, all for a pissing contest between two grown ass Archangels who could not accept that God just didn't give a fuck.

And despite all of that? Sam and Dean pulled him right back into another apocalyptic conflict with God, and he decided to side with them. He convinces Michael, like "hey man, yeah, they left me to rot in hell, they completely forgot about me while bringing each other back time and time again, but they aren't bad guys."

If I were Adam, I would've asked Michael to smite the fuckers, but like let me sit in the drivers seat as it happened.

The fact that, that kindness is present in him even though he was so young when he went into hell, and stayed there for probably like over a century, is a testament to the fact that you should stan Adam Milligan for clear skin.

I will always say, "Our Father, Who Aren't in Heaven" is a masterpiece in character writing. I fucking fell in love with Adam in a matter of 40 mins, and that's some good fucking writing if I've ever seen it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

No one as such. I don't mind the idea of him being romantically involved with Michael but... the same body thing kinda throws me off. So does the Young John!Michael thing so... idk? Jo Harvel? Cause I read a fic where he had a thing for her? Or Alex maybe? She's cute.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Michael. Obviously Michael.

To me, Michael is a fucking tragedy. He's one of the saddest characters in Supernatural, in the sense that his tragedy isn't even acknowledged completely.

He genuinely believes in his mission. He believes in his Father, his Creator, only to find out he isn't just unimportant to his dad... nah. His dad made like multiple versions of him. Fuck that. His dad doesn't even cast him as one of the protagonist of the story. Michael is villager B. God took his love and devotion and care and cast him as VILLAGER B!!

So for him to find solace in a friendship with a scrawny little kid who also is rejected, forgotten by his family? Pure gold. Absolutely brilliant. They have a sense of trust. A bond. Michael, a being so powerful he led armies of angels in heaven, now listens to advice from this kid who has nothing more to offer than the kindness in his heart.

Come on man, the first place they go when they escape is a diner. Adam doesn't NEED to eat. He just misses the taste of it all. And Michael, happily, with a smile even, indulges him. How fucking amazing is that?

Like I said "Our Father, Who Aren't In Heaven" is an absolute masterclass in character writing which later gets absolutely butchered by Inhereit the Earth because Michael, as loyal as he was, would never go back to Chuck. He had way too much pride for that shit, and I will not stop gushing about it.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

I wish they hadn't forgotten him. I like his return in season 15. But man. I think it's Winchester trademark to obsessively try to resurrect family. And like man, by the end, going to hell, opening the cage, it was like just another tuesday for those boys. I don't understand why if they could've opened it for Lucifer, they couldn't have at least tried to bring Adam back.

I think Dean and Sam did give a shit about Adam. I think they wanted to protect him. Dean does mention him when making his deal with Death in season 7, to help Sam but then it gets dropped? Dean is a stubborn bastard. I don't believe he or even Sam would've just given up. But yeah, season 6 & 7 do have a tendancy of fucking up well established character traits. You're telling me Sam Winchester of all people abandoned Kevin? For a dog? Fuck off.

Having said all that, I think it would have been fun to have Adam back and pop in sometimes and just add to the found family thing the Winchesters had going on (before the god awful finale). He could've lived a normal life, but helped on the side? Like Alex does? That would have been so fun.

Man. I miss Adam. What a cutie.

Anyway, yeah. So there you go. My thoughts on one Adam Milligan.

Edit: I couldn't find a place to mention it but I need to.

My man. :)

#supernatural #supernatural is misery served by superhot waiters #adam milligan #adam milligan deserved way better please wtf #he was a baby #jake abel plays him and michael so well #jake abel in that one episode showed more range than jared padalecki in the last three seasons #no hate to jared or anything but the man had been making lazy acting choices #cause like the contrast between sam in season 5 and season 15 is vast #jared used to bring his a game in the early seasons #and the fact that out of the three main actors you could clearly tell he was the only one not giving a fuck really showed #misha and jensen always acted like their life depended on jt #this took a very long detour #my point is #jake abel #jensen ackles #adam milligan being an absolute sweetheart #spn #our father who aren't in heaven #misha collins #also like that line #this line is everything #there is so much wisdom in it while it being so heartbreaking #guys #you have to understand #this is not a man #this is a young adult #his whole youth fuck that his whole life has been spent in hell that's where he grew up and yet he forgives dean with this one painful line #i cant #please

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andrea-lyn · 3 years

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The Recs (Less Travelled)

I’m excited to bring you the first installment of my ‘roads less travelled’ recs! I will be doing another round of this, probably once the Ted Lasso fic tag hits about 25 pages, and then I’ll also grab a couple more fandoms to collect in there!

The Rules:

Each fandom/pairing was sorted on Archive of Our Own by completed works. Anything recced here was not in the first ten pages when sorted by kudos at the time of reccing. There may be some more well-known authors on this list, but the specific fics I’ve picked are ones that didn’t crack that top ten or just didn’t get much traction and I think deserve it, so hopefully I have also balanced it out with other under the radar (and still great!) works. As ever, I have a pinned post of my other recs (none have been duplicated from there), so you can also check those out! Under the cut you’ll find 10 recs in each fandom for:

Raven Cycle

Roswell New Mexico

The Old Guard

Inception

Star Trek (mainly Kirk/McCoy)

The Raven Cycle

savor all the little pieces by littlelionvanz

“Since when do you garden?”

Ronan snorted, “Since I grew up on a fucking farm, genius. Jesus who gave you permission to pursue higher education.”

the old grip of the familiar by littleseal

"There is a single black feather and a printed out picture of Gansey, Blue and Cheng standing in front of some fucking monument Ronan didn’t care enough to remember the name of. Gansey sent it to Ronan’s phone some time ago, but it sat in his messages until Adam picked it up and grinned at it so hard that, one afternoon later, Ronan cursed and kicked and glared his old printer back to life in order to print it out.

Fuck, he thinks, I’m in love with a hoarder."

Adam collects things. Ronan is in love with him.

No Sweeter Innocence Than Our Gentle Sin by gansey_is_our_king

Ronan Lynch has wanted to kiss Adam Parrish for a long time.

(alternately titled: four times that Ronan could have kissed Adam)

Cheers to Another Seven Years! by skyermirth

Adam left Henrietta for Harvard and never returned. Now, seven years has passed, and an unexpected work assignment has brought him back to a place and people he hardly recognizes.

Row, row, row your boat by emmerrr

“What. Why are you smiling at me,” he says suspiciously.

Adam shrugs. “You’re cute.”

“I’m not cute, I’m terrifying.”

“Terrifyingly cute,” Adam says.

and now the world is ours to take / and every single move is ours to make by thatlittleblackcat

"Adam was the scientist, Ronan was the data, and Orphan Girl was the key that explained the strange outliers that Ronan presented, his previously unexplainable actions."

Adam sorts out his feelings, Ronan helps him, Gansey is the number one dad friend, Blue is the number one mom friend and Henry tries to make Ronan smile. Otherwise known as the story of how Orphan Girl became Opal.

All These Things You Make Me Feel by SilverOpals394

It was late. Adam could feel the long day catching up to him as he left Boyd’s, all his energy exhausted. When he started his car, the tape deck whirred to life once more. He sighed and raised his hand to turn it off, but before he did a soft melody began to play.

AU in which the mixtape Ronan made for Adam only plays the murder squash song until Adam realizes he's in love with Ronan, too.

Ways to Communicate by Jalules

Blue Sargent reflects on an early memory (and gets busy with her boyfriends.)

(The two things are related, trust me.)

Hold Me Closer, I'm Safe in Your Arms by actuallyronanlynch

“You wanna tell me why I had to hear from Henry Cheng that my boyfriend was at the hospital?” Adam hissed, though his voice wasn’t as acidic as it could’ve been. Ronan took small victories where he could.

“You don’t have a cellphone,” Ronan pointed out flatly. “It’s not like I could’ve gotten a hold of you.”

arts and crafts and the inevitability of death by sunshineinthestorm

Adam comes to the public library in search of a study spot, not a boyfriend.

But it must be his lucky day—because he ends up with a bit of both.

Roswell New Mexico

a conversation between insignificant others by Bellakitse

“Hey…have you noticed that our boyfriends are madly in love with each other?"

“You noticed that too, huh,” she answers dryly, letting out a huff of reluctant amusement.

***

Forrest and Maria share a drink and a conversation and start a friendship.

Own Personal Hell by BeStillMySlashyHeart

Now that Isobel's getting the hang of her telekinesis, Michael decides to test out his telepathic abilities. It backfires. Badly. Now Michael's trapped inside his own mind and only one person can break him out.

Drop the Hammer by brightloveee

Max makes a new friend at the shooting range, who turns out to be even more bad-ass than he expected.

(Takes place mid-S1)

Boys Like You by forgadgetsandgizmos

Curly, dirty blond hair (the mere description ‘curly’ felt like an injustice) twisted in every direction off his head, a sharp contrast with the scruff darkening his strong jawline and scowl-ridden face.

Alex made a mental note to compliment Maria on her excellent taste in men.

—

Or, Alex has coffee with Maria's one-night stand, a man who he definitely does not have a crush on.

let's exchange the experience by lostin_space

Michael decides they need to quarantine.

Michael floods Alex with love and care over and over and over.

This Is Hardcore by Anonymous

Michael makes a proposal. Alex accepts. Michael wonders what the hell he’s gotten himself into.

i don't know what to think (but i think of supernovas) by Milzilla

michael discovers that the console can talk. then, he discovers it can do far more than that.

iridescence on skin by Lire_Casander

In a world where (almost) everyone has a tattoo on their right wrist with one set of coordinates that point to the place where their soulmate is born, Alex thought he wouldn't be any different. He couldn't be more mistaken.

He has two.

The Real Thing by elliebird

Max checks on Michael the morning after Michael saves Max’s ass from Wyatt Long and his dumbass buddies. He sees more than he’s supposed to.

Written for a Tumblr anon who one of their friends walking in on them or anyone of them finding out about Michael and Alex in an interesting way

Sundering by romancandles

“You know it was just an Air Force balloon, right?” says Alex.

Michael smirks. “That’s what they want you to think,” he says, with a wink.

The Old Guard

Peer Reviewed by ishandahalf

[From:] Journal of Medieval Studies ([email protected])

[Subject:] Ad-hoc note from the editor

I have noticed an uncommon level of animosity in your responses to your reviewers (or rather, one reviewer in particular). I am writing to ask if you would please do your best to keep your interactions civil. In fairness, I have also sent a similar request to the reviewer you seem to have this friction with. I trust you will both try and remain more professional in the future.

Again, thank you for submitting your work to this journal.

Sincerely,

James Copley, PhD

Editor-in-Chief

Journal of Medieval Studies

An (accidental) academic epistolary romance as (inadvertently) documented via a (theoretically) rigorously blinded peer review process.[citation needed]

third for a word and the song keeps going Macremae

It was honestly shaping up to be a pretty uneventful year before the Vatican got on Nicky’s bad side.

Or: three times in 2008 that the team genuinely thought about killing Nicky if only to get him to shut up about the changes to the Catholic English Mass and his unrelenting opinions on them, and one time Nile did.

Apex Predators In Island Ecosystems (Freeman et al., in press) by Sixthlight

Palaeobotany PhD student Nile Freeman and her supervisor Joe al-Kaysani are invited to billionaire Stephen Merrick’s new project – a theme park full of cloned dinosaurs. What could possibly go wrong?

This Rough Magic by Marivan

When Joe came to Scotland to study the sea, he did not expect to also encounter a beautiful man claiming that A. he’s a selkie and B. they’re married because Joe picked up his scarf.

It sounds like a fairy tale and that’s a problem. Because Joe’s a scientist. And selkies don’t exist.

Wars for the broken by Yuliares

Five years into his exile, Booker is joined by a companion he never expected to meet. Together, they try to work on healing.

Sometimes they go down to the sewers just so she can scream and scream. “I like to hear it echo,” she explains. “Underwater, you can’t hear anything. Here, at least I can be heard.”

“I don’t feel like a warrior anymore,” she tells him, throwing bread crumbs at pigeons. “I feel broken.”

“You’re still a warrior,” he says roughly. “This is still fighting.”

a good (eighth) impression by deanniker

Over the next few months, Joe runs into Nicky every so often at the farmer’s market. Some weekends Nicky doesn’t make it, because of his work schedule - Joe doesn’t understand it because he doesn’t ask, though he does start to recognize when one of those missing weekends is coming up because Nicky will stock up on things with longer shelf-life. When they do run into each other, they make small talk and move through the stalls together.

Joe doesn’t mention it to Lykon when he stops by, because it is kind of weird, that Lykon’s ex-boyfriend texts Joe things like - If you’re here, the apples look particularly good this week and thank you for that recipe, I did not know what I was going to do with that much couscous

Or,

Joe wouldn't usually consider starting anything with his best friend's ex, but as long as they keep it casual, it shouldn't be weird... right?

get back to where you once belonged by tenderjock

Nile takes a sip of her cappuccino and closes her eyes.

(Booker and Nile get that coffee. Life happens, along the way.)

a house; a home by mehm

“Is this a kidnapping?” Joe asks as Nicky checks both their seat belts. “Like, I don’t mind. It’s just not quite what I expected for my birthday.”

In which Joe gets a birthday surprise, because that’s the stuff you have time for when you and the love of your life become mortal at the same time.

the ties that bind by damaskrose

“There’s a story I heard many times,” Andy begins, “in the Mediterranean. Threads of fate and three sisters. One to spin, one to measure, and one to cut.”

Clutter And Croutons by flawedamythyst

Joe and Nicky have an argument, and then Nicky talks to Nile about what it really means to be in a relationship for 900 years.

Inception

My Big Fat Slightly Annoying Wedding by jibrailis

Arthur and Eames elope for ~tax reasons. Certain people in their lives are not happy at the lack of a wedding.

Remember Sydney by pathera

When Eames shambles into the safe house outside of London, he finds a red light blinking on the phone.

For the inception_kink prompt:

Arthur is on a plane which is about to crash. No way anyone is going to survive. Instead of panicking he calmly calls the team's office and gets the answering machine. He hangs up before the plane crashes.

Give me Arthur's last message to the team.

(TW: Character Death / Angst)

Of Such Deceitfulness and Suavity by delires

In which emotions manifest themselves in unusual ways.

YO, K2tog (it's like a code) by lazulisong

“Oh my God,” moans Arthur. “I’ve paid less for Somnacin. Good Somnacin.” A horrible thought strikes him. “How much is the yarn --”

“I want you to have an unguarded reaction,” Eames tells him, and pulls him up from the floor.

(They run an extraction on a knitter.)

hit the ground running by orphan_account

"I travelled halfway around the world for you. I dealt with the French for you."

Valley by wldnst

It's an old story: a knight, a prince, a kingdom in peril.

If This Is Rain Let It Fall On Me and Drown Me by Brangwen

We used to be so brave, Eames thought. Of the two of them, Arthur had always been the more fearless.

a gentle familiarity by jollypuppet

Two weeks later, Eames is on his doorstep with bad Italian takeout and a grin, and Arthur tells him he can sleep on the couch.

Your Crisis Cannot Be Completed As Dialed by sevenimpossiblethings

Arthur doesn't do snow, Ariadne is determined to be as Midwestern as possible, and blizzards make cell phone service unreliable.

Let’s Say I Do (I Do) by xsilverdreamsx

There were, perhaps some things worse that this, Arthur thinks, as he glares at the letter in his hand with his name printed clearly in bold ink, indicating his presence in two weeks for his esteemed marriage to one William H. Eames, III, at St. Catherine's Church in London, England.

Star Trek (predominantly Kirk/McCoy)

Show the World That Something Good Can Work by knune

Leonard McCoy is a doctor, not a personal assistant, and maybe that's why he can't stand working for Jim Kirk.

It's in the little things by winterover

Bones is bemused by a persistent secret admirer.

"Wedding" Away with It by pendrogon

One morning, Bones wakes up and he's single. By the same afternoon, he's married to Jim Kirk for Arbitrary Fic Reasons(TM).

How Long Will You Stay (For Your Whole Life) by withthepilot

Jim Kirk, deputy director of the Enterprise parks and recreation department, sees all of his hard work fall to pieces when budget specialist Leonard McCoy arrives from the state capital to cut Jim's budget and threaten the livelihoods of his colleagues. But thanks to a major parks project, Leonard finds a place in the department, as well as in Jim's life—and when all is said and done, Jim doesn't want him to leave.

All-Time Favorite by mardia

What to do when your best friend suddenly starts making new friends.

Joy Ride by Cards_Slash

While running for their lives from an alien species Kirk had accidentally enraged, they come across a car. And well, if you were to come across a car while being chased by aliens that wanted you dead, and you possessed some lingering knowledge of how to drive a car similar to said car, you would have decided to drive it toward the nearest cliff too.

Also a gunfight.

Syncytia by epistolic

He’d signed up for Starfleet on an impulse, but Starfleet meant James Tiberius Kirk: the first – and second, and third, and fourth – big mistake of Leonard McCoy’s life.

Renovation by canistakahari

Jim has a whammy put on him by an alien death ray and he suddenly craves domesticity. He's crazy with longing to shop at space!Ikea and get potted bamboo and he starts looking into adopting AND HE HATES HIMSELF AND CANNOT CONTROL THE SHIT. Luckily, McCoy is drunk all the time and plays house.

17:08 by butterflycell

She'd watched the news holos with a sick feeling, searching for information that was completely obvious in its absence. Amidst the reports of the the Enterprise's miraculous recovery and the damages sustained, there had been next to nothing about the crew or her captain. Jim had been mentioned only in passing, his name shied away from as his first officer limited interaction to the bare essentials.

The Honey of Hybla by shrift

"Bones, prepare to be my date."

#recs #fic recs #recs project #star trek recs #inception recs #the raven cycle recs #the old guard recs #roswell new mexico recs

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fandom-space-princess · 3 years

Text

Every Day's Most Quiet Need

midam week prompt 5: whisper - (v) speak very softly using one's breath without one's vocal cords, especially for the sake of privacy/(n) a soft or confidential tone of voice; a whispered word or phrase

Rating: Teen [2.5k words, a tiny bit h/c, mostly just sort of sweet]

Some things can't be spoken aloud. The only way to get them out is to say them as softly as you can.

read below the cut, or on AO3

When Adam thinks of whispers, he thinks of Michael's wings.

-----

"Michael? Why are you shivering?"

Maybe a silly question. The Cage is cold. An understatement, of course, but trying to hyperbolize about it has never taken the sting out. No matter how Adam tries to wrap it up in description, thinking of it as frozen as the Arctic tundra or the original ice cube or goddamn Minneapolis in February is never enough to distract from bitter reality.

So: the Cage is cold.

Shouldn't matter, though, and usually it doesn't. Michael is an inferno inside his chest, and he runs hot even by angelic standards (at least, according to him; not that Adam has any basis for comparison). Adam barely registers the frigidity of the place, and as far as he knows the cold bothers Michael not at all, either from his vantage in Adam's head or, as he's taken to doing more and more lately, manifesting as a separate presence.

Not that he's really asked. They've been down here for close to two hundred years, and it's only the last fifty or so that the rapport between them has been something resembling friendly.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." Michael curls himself up smaller near the wall of the Cage, knees clasped to his chest, and slips into what Adam has privately begun to refer to as his Stoic Angel Face. The juxtaposition strikes him as odd: this intense, commanding creature, tucked into the corner like a human child, tight with tension, but wearing an expression that would seem more at home on a commander of armies, or carved into a mountainside.

Adam has been looking at Michael for two centuries, though. He's getting good at spotting the cracks in his masks.

He settles himself down next to Michael, a bare few inches separating them. "Ok. Say I believe you. You're still pretty clearly uncomfortable right now. Can I... is there anything I can do to help?" He rests a hand cautiously on Michael's arm, watching his face closely. Doesn't miss the flicker of Michael's eyes to where they touch, then away again, tight and guilty like he doesn't want Adam to see.

He leans into it, though, and Adam shifts to press into his side, shoulder to shoulder.

This close, he can feel the fine shivers still running through Michael's frame. Can make out the shallowness of his breathing.

"Michael. Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't usually hang around out here when you want to be left alone. So what's up?"

Michael sighs. "As you say, I am merely uncomfortable. I — the last time we fought —" He nods across the Cage, at the far shadowy corner where Lucifer broods in solitude, "— I sustained a few... minor injuries. Injuries I am incapable of healing except by waiting for my grace to recover. In much the same way as your body would heal naturally."

Adam blinks. He doesn't know what he'd expected, but that — that wasn't it. Lucifer and Michael often scrap with each other. When they first arrived, it had been out of genuine fury. But as they have settled into a more permanent resignation to life in this place, Adam has come to suspect that their ongoing fighting is mostly out of habit, and frustration.

At least now they do it in their own forms. Being conscripted into participation on a physical level, especially when Sam had still been present, had not been among Adam's favorite activities.

He casts his gaze over Michael, critically. "You don't look injured anywhere that I can see. Is it — it's an angel thing, isn't it."

"Yes." Michael fidgets against the wall. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Another bitter sigh. With a face like he regrets ever consenting to participate in this conversation at all, Michael mutters, "My wings hurt."

"Your... oh." He understands, suddenly, why Michael is reluctant to talk about this. While there is no longer any aspect of each other that either of them is uncomfortable with, at least on a physical level (Adam's body has been home to both archangelic grace and human soul for an order of magnitude longer than he had ever occupied it alone), Michael's wings aren't entirely physical, even by his particularly lax definition of the term. They're tied up too closely with his grace, with his power, with his place in Heaven and the burdens that come with it. Adam has seen them, time to time, out of the corner of his eye. Knows that Michael can and does manifest them when he's coping with some severe emotion.

Usually violence. Or fear.

He fidgets again, and shivers, and the emotionless mask he tries to keep in place is betrayed by the tightness around his eyes. Adam realizes that he's never seen Michael look quite so shaky, quite so miserable. How much pain does it take, he wonders, to make the Sword of Heaven look like he wants nothing more than to sink into merciful unconsciousness?

Which is a good point, actually.

"I know you've gotten in fights before, bad ones. I've never seen you like this." He nudges Michael gently with his shoulder. "What's so different now? Is it that we're stuck here, something about the Cage?"

"No, it's... well. To be blunt: I have never injured part of my noncorporeal form this badly while also possessing a corporeal one." His voice has dropped to a low murmur, and Adam tilts his head closer. He's curled in on himself, as though making himself as small as he can. "If I were to leave you, I could tend to the problem much more quickly. Given our circumstances, that would likely be unpleasant for me, and fatal for you." His eyes dart to Adam, then away again.

Oh.

"You'd rather be in pain then risk hurting me?" Adam asks softly.

A scowl is all the acknowledgement he gets for his trouble, before Michael returns to staring fixedly off into the middle distance.

"I care about you too, you know," he says. He rests a hand on the archangel's arm again, in reassurance. Once again, he leans into the contact, a response which seems almost involuntary.

Interesting.

Testing a theory, Adam leans back against the wall of the Cage. Slowly, allowing Michael time to object if desired, he stretches an arm out and settles it lightly over his shoulders. Michael goes utterly still, and Adam wonders if he's made a mistake. He's about to draw back, offer an apology, when some measure of the tension leaves Michael's frame and he relaxes fractionally against Adam.

"You'd tell me if there was anything I could do to help, right? I want to know, if there is."

"I don't want to presume upon you further than I already have. Given time, I'll be fine."

"So there is something. Come on, halo, out with it. Let me help."

Michael frowns, then shivers again, appears to reach a decision.

"Fine." He uncoils himself from Adam's embrace, and moves to kneel a few feet away. Pointedly meets Adam's gaze, and holds it, as if in challenge.

A crackle like embers from a fire along his skin, raising goosebumps over his arms, and a soft displacement of air. And then —

— he's seen them before, of course, but never dead on like this. Michael's wings are gigantic, and beautiful: the soft grey of storm clouds, fading to a darker slate blue at the tips of the largest feathers. Threads of silver and steel grey etch through them, and they refract the dim light oddly, half-translucent, as though they only partially exist in this plane. Which, now that Adam thinks about it, they probably do.

They're also a mess. From where he sits, Adam can see patches of broken and scorched feathers, clumps of dried blood and sulfur, places where the flesh has started to heal badly. A pang of sympathy, like a lightning bolt through his chest, and he's extending one hand out toward Michael on impulse before he realizes what he's doing.

"You can't reach them, can you? While you're possessing me? That's what you meant."

Michael's eyes track his hand, the aborted gesture hanging in midair. His face and posture have gone closed-off, rigid, like Adam might change his mind at the last moment and strike him instead. "The metaphor is imperfect, but that's essentially accurate. In Heaven, I could tend my own form. Here, my options are... limited."

Adam slides closer, until he sits at his side, facing him. Watching Michael for any sign of distress or hesitation, he extends his hand until the tips of his fingers brush a patch of uninjured feathers over his shoulder. They're softer than they look, and they buzz faintly under his touch, a barely perceptible hum of bioelectric feedback.

Jaw clenched, Michael looks away. Nods once. Presses the wing forward against Adam's hand.

"I'm going to clean the injured parts as much as I can, ok?" Adam says gently, trying to catch Michael's gaze. When that fails, he reaches out to clasp a hand to his shoulder, squeezes once. "Let me know if I should stop."

He grazes his fingertips over one of the burned patches, and Michael hisses, flinching away.

"No," he responds immediately as Adam draws back by reflex. He catches Adam's hand in one of his own, lightning quick, and shakes his head. Deliberately presses the hand back against the scorched feathers. A wince, but his eyes lock on Adam's. "You won't hurt me." His voice falls to nearly a whisper, and his hand drops away. "Please."

This time, when Adam touches him, he is still.

The damage is extensive, and Michael's wings are... well, there's a lot of ground to cover. Adam suspects that he's not getting the whole picture, somehow; that what he sees are only the parts of himself that Michael has chosen (or, perhaps, is able) to bring forward into this plane. That there might, in truth, be more injuries over more of him — and in more dimensions — than Adam's mind is capable of perceiving.

He hums as he works, fingers combing careful through clumps of feathers. Straightening those healthy enough to be salvaged, pulling away bits of dried blood and occasionally tugging free those feathers too bent or broken to be saved. Michael makes a low, pained sound deep in his chest at the first one, and Adam presses his hands back to the space immediately, soothing.

To get his mind off it, Adam speaks. "So, what, you'd do this yourself in Heaven? Or the — I dunno, whatever the metaphysical equivalent of grooming your wings is for angels?"

Michael leans into him, hip pressed to thigh and shoulder against his arm. "Yes. They'd heal more quickly if I was, as you say, able to 'reach' them. But much of my grace is currently constrained within your form. The ways in which I can manifest and manipulate it are comparatively limited."

"But you'd always do that for yourself? Not that a ton of the angels I've met seemed too friendly —" He snorts, thinking of Zachariah. "I wouldn't blame you if you were picky about who you let get that close. But you must have had someone."

For a moment, Michael goes tense against him, and his face clouds. Then it passes, as though it had never been. "No," he says, clearly unwilling to elaborate.

Adam doesn't press the issue. He leans back on his heels, then stands, stretches. "You doing ok? I should do the back." Michael nods up at him, from his place on the floor, and Adam circles behind him. Taps him on the shoulder. "Stop kneeling there and sit down." His voice is light, teasing. "I'm going to need all the height advantage I can get on your ridiculous, massive wings."

It startles a chuckle out of Michael, and Adam grins to himself. Michael settles near his feet, and Adam resumes carding through the wings. He starts at the tips and works inward, down along the leading edge, gradually moving back toward Michael's body.

When he's close enough, Michael relaxes back against his legs. Almost like he doesn't realize he's doing it, Adam thinks. He doesn't mention it, and when he moves away to start on the outer edge of the other wing, the quality of the silence between them is different than before. The pain seems to be fading, and Michael no longer shivers, but some less definite emotion is rooting in its place, something quieter and almost sorrowful.

When Adam kneels behind him to reach the places closest to Michael's body, he can feel the difference. It's in the way the wings press eagerly into his hands, rather than shying away. In the way the angel tilts back into him, posture more relaxed than Adam has seen him — maybe ever.

Adam encourages him, pressing his weight in turn against Michael's back. As levelly and casually as he can, he says, "What about the others? I was under the impression that you guys were, well, close. A family. For whatever that means for you."

"Heaven is not —" Michael tenses, but Adam just leans more firmly against him, fingers moving soothingly over his wings, and after a moment he relents. His words sound fragile, hollow, and his voice is almost too quiet to hear. As though speaking this too loudly would be too much, would mean acknowledging something he was unwilling or unable to acknowledge. "We aren't like humans; we don't interact like you do. We don't — we don't touch each other. Except to fight." He glances furtively across the Cage. In that moment, Adam sees a glimpse of his deeper nature, the weight of an impossible stretch of time on this being as old as the universe. "Once, perhaps. But not for a very long time."

Adam says nothing. Nothing needs to be said.

He sits against the wall of the Cage, spreads his legs out, and tugs at Michael's waist. Michael's wings vanish, and he turns his head to speak, but Adam cuts him off.

"Don't argue with me, ok? Just come over here."

Michael lets himself be pulled along, until he rests between Adam's legs. He leans back against his chest, and fidgets for a few moments. Then Adam curls his arms around his waist, and he settles.

"You deserve to be touched in something other than violence," he murmurs, chin hooked over Michael's shoulder. He runs hands down his arms, until their fingers twine together, pressing close to Michael's body. "Don't give me that 'not like humans' line. Just stay here with me for a few minutes."

He has no power to hold Michael here against his will, he knows. He could vanish, fly off, simply stand up and walk away — he is far stronger than Adam will ever be.

But Adam holds him, the only comfort he has to offer.

And Michael, a silent weight against his chest, doesn't move away.

#technically pre-slash but they're getting there #cage fic AND a wing fic?? look at me trope #platonic physical affection for the touch-starved angel #and listen. i know the title is sappy and overdone. i know it.#but consider: i do what i want #michael spn #adam milligan #midam #midam week #spn #fanfic #mine #my fanfic

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prairiedust · 4 years

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The Further Folklore of Supernatural

Here’s a little more folklore meta in light of how season 15 has been playing out if anyone is game. I genuinely thought that Moriah would be the end of the folklore stuff and tossed out “Folk the Author” as an “epilogue,” so this is probably less of an addendum than it is a waymarker as I try to continue to parse these themes into the last seven episodes.

Welp. *waves hands at everything* THIS is not how anyone expected 2020 to go. Things got a little bit big and I stopped thinking about Spn in light of needing that energy elsewhere. But I also don’t want this crapfest to ruin how I fan my favorite show, so here I go again. I will attempt a TL;DR, too!

If you’ve read my old “folklore” analysis here about how I think fairy tales and all their baggage fit into Supernatural season 14, you know that I believe Castiel has stepped into a Sleeping Beauty type story, and that coincidentally a few themes and symbolism from Snow White kept popping up around Dean. (I hold Sam to be a Protagonist in the modern “literary fiction” sense of the word, but emotionally, thematically, and narratively he’s always been a little inaccessible to me. I finally understood him when the death-of-the-author plot surfaced, and I’ll get to Sam eventually here. And Jack, there’s a little Jack in here, too.)

If you would rather have the TL;DR than read several thousands of words about how folklore and myth *might* be abstractly connected to an American genre show, all I can say is that I tried. The textual support is all in the folklore posts. This is as succinct a summary as I could fabricate. At least I’m not gonna talk about Sam and bricolage and freeplay! This is an almost completely theory-free post! If you don’t want to read or don’t need a refresher and just want to know how this has been working in 15, you can scroll down to “END OF TL;DR”.

So, to catch up, I’m not talking about the folklore and mythology that this show has always relied on for plot and MOTWs. I wasn’t drilling down into urban legends like Hook Man or world folk monsters like shtrigas or pishtacos. By “folklore” I mean the study of storytelling tropes and tale types that have been with us for ages. One of the many subtexts of the end of the series. I’ve been tracking this because I think it’s fun to see how fairy tale imagery and mythology might layer preconscious suggestions into the text of the show. I personally think it was loud enough to be seen easily, but more than likely viewers felt unsettled, felt cheered, or felt like they knew what was coming? I’m curious to know. Anyway.

When we found out that Kelly Kline was going to name her baby “Jack” waaaaay back in season 12, things started chiming. Jack and the Beanstalk. Jack the Giant Killer. Jack Tales. Jack is a powerful Western character, sort of a cross between a noble hero and a trickster, featuring in stories that often blur lines and boundaries. He is both the poor man’s youngest son and the equal to King Arthur’s heir. Jack is both everyman and extraordinary. Jack is so cool, I wish I had more time to parse that but his qualities are not subtle in the text/subtext, anyway.

But back to my half-crack reading of seasons 14 and 15.

Once upon a time in Supernatural, there were two fairy tales being told. Both fairy tales are found all over the world and in many forms, but they all can be grouped together because they all contain shared elements of the same basic plot or shared themes, and these two in particular are sister stories. So when I mention “Sleeping Beauty,” I’m talking about lots of different versions of the folk tale, and the same for “Snow White,” which can be found in one form or another in storytelling traditions all over the place. It is both helpful and irritating that these are both Disney movies, too.

Jack makes an allusion to Sleeping Beauty in 14x03 The Scar while talking to Castiel-- it’s the kind of subtextual flash that in and of itself means little and proves nothing, but then beginning with The Scar we got three stories in a row that dealt with “sleepers” of some sort-- Lora in 14x03 doomed to die because of a witch’s spell, Stuart in 14x04 Mint Condition in a coma because of a ghost attack, and Sasha’s father in 14x05 Nightmare Logic under the spell of a clever djinn. It’s powerful subtext, like a soft light that bathes these episodes in the color of fairy tale and makes Jack’s Dramatic Swoon at the end of Optimism all the more Dramatic-- subtext amplifying the plot. Jack goes to Heaven, but is eventually cornered by the Shadow, who wants him in the Empty where he will sleep forever-- the Shadow being an entity who has claimed the husks of dead angels since their inception and thus implies a “curse” laid on Jack from the moment he came into being-- but Castiel, who is ever a thief in oh so many ways, makes a bargain with the Shadow and essentially takes over the consequences of Jack’s Sleeping Beauty story (hence my rarely used but hilarious tag “Castiel Thief of Endings.”)

Now that we know from 14x20 Moriah that the Shadow and Billie the Reaper are, if not allies, at least working together when Jack is awakened in the Empty, does that mean that Castiel’s deal is still on the table, or has that fate been thwarted? *pounds table* Was Jack’s death and Chuck’s rise as a “greater threat” in 14x20 enough to shift Castiel’s ending? It’s the kind of subtextual question that lends tension to the narrative and it’s what I am here for.

Well, speaking of thwarted expectations, Dean’s arc was being shadowed by a Snow White tale type. We all know Snow White but why don’t I sum it up anyway, since Disney messed up the folktale ending lol. Snow White is cast out of her home by her jealous stepmother (and echoes of the stepmother’s magic mirror show up in 15x02 Gods and Monsters) who sends her huntsman to kill her; the dude can’t do it and turns the girl loose in the forest instead. Snow White joins a band of outsiders who live in the forest-- in the Disney movie and the Grimms’ tale they are dwarfs, in some versions she happens upon a band of robbers-- and they love her very much and we presume she’s safe for the rest of her life; Michael mysteriously turns Dean loose to join Sam’s gathering of hunters, however we know, like Stepmom, Michael is still out there. The stepmother finds out that Snow White is actually alive and contrives to kill her herself. Eventually succeeding, Snow White appears to die and is usually laid to rest in a crystal casket/glass coffin. Her stepmother’s machinations have _stolen her agency_ (further paralleling Dean’s possession by AU!Michael.) A Handsome Prince stumbles upon Snow White, is besmitten with her, and he asks her protectors if he can have her, as one does. Leaving the Disney adaptation aside, Snow White awakens when whatever item that has caused her death-like state is dislodged (piece of apple in her throat) or removed (magic corset) or withdrawn (poisoned hairpin) by her protectors. Snow White is a story about the community of the dwarves of band of robbers or adopted family caring deeply for her, and when Dean starts making his own crystal casket, the ma’lak box, in which he will ride out eternity in tormented symbiosis with Apocalypse Michael, he has to rely on his family to help him see the plan through. However, here’s where Jack-- who is as much a chaos engine as his surrogate father Castiel if not more so-- steps in and ruins the ending. Jack smites Michael. Dean Winchester is saved. Again. To put the final nail in the coffin, so to speak, Jack later destroys the ma’lek box entirely.

That was quite the surprise ending… for one of the stories.

Was the end of season 14 the end of the Sleeping Beauty theme, also?

END OF TL;DR

I quit writing about “folklore” for a while, but that doesn’t mean it stopped being a theme. It just stopped being fun to write about as the story got more and more dark, and when it transmuted into two parallel themes of “folklore” or storytelling by the people versus Death of the Author--or storytelling by a lauded authority-- and there was so much angst about the boundaries of Chuck’s powers, I just wanted to sit back and enjoy that. I did distill my thoughts about Sam’s new arc in the DotA plot, which I thought would subsume the folktale themes but hey, we still have folktales around, too. I mean, we have Sam and we have Dean, and we have two “literary” subtexts, or maybe rather two subjects about the nature of story, something that I thought was a little bit of a surprise.

Storytelling was a Feature of 15x07 Last Call, both in the sense that Lee and Dean swap new stories and tell old tales of their adventures together as they catch up, but also in the sense that we got additional “text”-- hints of a backstory where John and Dean hunted with Lee in that swampy long-ago “Stanford era,” and again we get storytelling when _Lee recounts how he ended up keeping a marid in his basement_. There is also an allusion to the Thousand and One Arabian Nights in that episode that I yelled about in a meta that I never put on the interwebs, but the “marid” is in a specific tale in many editions of that collection, and thus calls in not only a different folktale tradition but the concept of a framed/nested narrative, which I believe will be important to understanding the last episodes of the series, but that’s an aside. In 15x08 Our Father Who Aren’t In Heaven, Castiel _tells Michael the story_ of how everyone ended up where they are now to convince him to help. And Michael and Adam’s allyship, if not friendship, was probably the best subversion of any “storytelling” expectation we’ve ever had on this show. Belphagor set us up for “room full of crazy” or something, but, no. We got symbiosis.

That almost sums up how I’ve been viewing the last “era” of spn. This wasn’t in the master post, but I shouted a lot about underworlds before 15x09 Purgatory 2: Return to Purgatory, and then stopped shouting because I had to ferment for a while. Also, as has been mentioned, the world turned to crap. But talking to other meta writers during the ramp up to the resumption of the season helped me realize just why this reading of myth to folktales to literature feels so right.

Underworlds and Otherworlds…. Everybody has crossed into an “underworld” or three in Supernatural, it’s really nbd. It was actually surface-level plot in season 13. By the time 15x09 rolled around, our heroes are just, like, strolling in and out of “sealed off” Hell after doing a level one spell and chilling with Billie in the Empty and even that Purgatory trip didn’t have the same feeling of danger that, say, crossing into the AU did. But also, we’re at the point where subtext is leading us to a _satisfactory_ ending. Where before we had serial text, like a cumulative tale type-- “The House that Jack Built”-- which just kept adding more and more plot, we’re hurtling o’er the apex of Freytag’s pyramid now and things are getting loud.

But they’re also getting very shifty.

I wrote a little bit about Sam Winchester successfully reviving Eileen in 15x06 Golden Time and the “Orpheus and Eurydice” symbolism of him keeping his back to her. (I’m not linking it because it’s so, so rough.) But because Sam is not an underworld hero, not completely-- I see him as a modern Protagonist coming to terms in a psychoanalytical model with things like mortality, fallibility, and mastery-- maybe bildungsroman, even -- he was able to subvert the tragic ending of the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice because it is not “his” story. But if I were pressed to find a mythic or folk tale type to measure Sam against, I could. I would probably sideye “the sorcerer’s apprentice” trope (ATU 325-The Magician and his Pupil :D ) which began as a poem that entered European folklore on different fronts. (and weirdly, that story was also Disnified in Fantasia. That’s probably more my own limitation as a gen x american lol than anything coming from the writer’s room.)

Dean got his moment in Purgatory where he was able to finally come to grips with his anger and heal the rift between himself and Castiel because Purgatory is a different kind of underworld. Dean is a successful threshold-crosser, having crossed that boundary out of Purgatory before, but in 15x09, his prayer to Castiel is all a subtextual evocation of doing the emotional and mental work of therapy, which Sam, as a modern protagonist, is usually caught up in. The mythic hero also deals with mortality, failibilty, and mastery, but in different terms. I hope I’m doing an okay job peeling apart these nuances that I’m seeing.

Since Castiel accompanied Dean to Purgatory, and in the past made his own wildly successful incursion into and out of Hell with Dean’s soul, and was the one in The Trap who actually retrieved the Leviathan blossom, Castiel counts as an underworld hero, too, but you can pull the lever and send the tumblers spinning again and make him a fairy tale character in that he has made this Bargain with the Empty which is both in the “modern” tradition of subverting a fairy tale, and the tale type “deal with the devil.” Or he could be seen as a modern protagonist in that he’s lowkey grappling with questions of selfhood and identification. “I am an angel of the lord.” “I am no one.” “It’s Steve, now.” “You are nothing.” “I am an angel.”

We even got an episode that playfully explored the concept of “hero” by subverting our expectations (Sam and Dean were rescued by, of all people, an upgraded Garth.) It was called The Hero’s Journey, after the Joseph Campbell book about mythic heroes.... !!! Like, what??? !!!! I didn’t even have anything to say about that episode, it just rocked. The “meta” was just all out there in plot, like the olives and boiled eggs in a 1950’s gelatin recipe.

Some of this slipperiness in the subtext points right at the study of folklore and the (admittedly Eurocentric at first) efforts to transform a “soft science” into something approaching scientific rigor. The Aarne-Thompson-Uther folktale index is today a codifying or cataloguing tool, with which anthropologists and literature scholars can line up stories based on the motifs found within them-- it is useful for cataloguing tales, making comparative studies, and for trying to trace these stories back through human history to find the One First Story of that type, for instance the ur-story that led to Snow White. When did people first start telling that tale, where, how did it spread, and why are we still telling it today? The danger in using the ATU index is that by stripping a story down to it’s bones, we lose the story, if that makes sense. The beauty of using the ATU index is that you find many, many more interconnected stories. It’s sort of a paradox. Some scholars criticize the ATU, claiming that one could take a random selection of these motifs and shuffle them to create a story and, you sort of could? That’s the beauty of the system.

So that brings us to Jack. I feel like Jack, as in Jack of all Trades, is anything that the narrative needs him to be. As far as I can find, “Jack” is not a “tale type.” He shows up alongside any number of them-- sometimes as a trickster, sometimes as a hero, almost always as a kind of slippery character. In the first folklore post, I invested many words in exploring Dabb’s obsession with threes-- AU Michael asks three beings what they desire, asks his human victim to guess his name three times, then we follow three sleeper stories, and so on. The original TFW was three people. But Jack makes four.

What is Jack’s story going to be?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And speaking for a sec about the origins of myth and folklore-- what about ALL OF THE OTHER PEOPLE in the world? Are they lowkey churning the matrix of reality on their own and generating their own content, like Becky and her AO3 stories and mackettes?

*¯\_(ツ)_/¯ intensifies*

It all just feels so good at this point, even the peril that I feel surrounding Castiel.

I *think* this will be the last of the longform metas before the end of the series. I mean, I can only hope so. I’ll drop some stuff about individual episodes that might be applicable as I rewatch, and I might clean up my post about Last Call and drop it on here, but I just wanted to kind of hold this up as a mile marker before the Final Seven air.

#the folklore of supernatural #idk even what to tag this

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dollfaceeeeee · 3 years

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How the Supernatural characters would react if you flinched when they tried to touch you..🥺

I really wish I had Dean Winchester to snuggle up to every night man. 😂🙄☹️

Dean: Being the much more aggressive, straight forward of the brothers, he would probably at first be shocked. I mean, what the hell was that? You’ve never done that before. Of course, you have to know he would never, ever hurt you, or let anyone else do anything to hurt you either, but you got scared of him touching you? I mean..him? He would definitely want to know what the hell that was about, and wouldn’t take no for an answer, even if Sammy butted in to lay off of you. He just wants to keep you safe, so don’t take it personally, but once you told him he would pull you in against him and hold you so tight you’d feel like you were a part of him, and he would probably even rub your back and kiss your head, but inwardly, he would be planning his next hunt.

Sammy: He would be devastated to see it, but probably wouldn’t outwardly say he was. I mean, he loves you, and you have to know that. Why would you be afraid of him touching you? He had done it so many times before. He would probably try to figure out a way to talk to you about it gently, without making you scared or uncomfortable, but once you do, he would be heartbroken and angry. How dare someone hurt you? He would probably be afraid to touch you, but he might reach up to touch your cheek and tell you that it’s all going to be alright, and you’re safe now. They can’t hurt you again, because he wouldn’t allow it. And honestly, he would probably let Dean take care of the dirty work tbh.

Castiel: Awe man, the angel baby. There is very little this guy doesn’t know about, so he probably wouldn’t be very surprised if you flinched around him, because he would probably know the root of the problem. It was because of them, wasn’t it? They scarred you, and now you were afraid of anyone coming too close to you. Cass isn’t the best at expressing his inward feelings, but he would probably make sure to make it evident how angry he was about it, and how he wouldn’t let them get away with it. He might also just make you some pancakes that he saw Dean make once, so even if they taste God awful, eat them anyway. It’s the thought that counts.

Jack: He probably wouldn’t understand, at first, what the fuck was happening. He may even just overlook it as a reflex because humans can have those at times, can’t they? But if you get upset about it, or look distressed, he would catch on that it wasn’t just some simple, little thing, and would probably be immediately concerned for you. He’s probably honestly one of the best people to talk about shit with, because he’s gonna give you a very thoroughly honest opinion on literally anything. And his opinion about a piece of shit that hurt you? Yikes. I’m not sure I wanna know how infuriated he would be.

Bobby: CAN YOU SAY PAPA SINGER? What a guy. There is no doubt this man would be beyond fucking angry. How dare they hurt you? He doesn’t even need to know who they are to hate them on the spot, especially since he loves you, and he would be verbal about it too, don’t worry. He would probably be the one to try and get you to laugh, crack open a beer for you, and pull you in against his side as he does work for an upcoming job, but he would let you help out just to distract you from it. I love his energy tbh. Always have.

Adam: Soft boy would be concerned. What the hell do you mean that someone hurt you? Why would they do something like that? What fucking imbeciles, honestly. He probably would be unsure of what to do to help, but he might just offer you a hug, or maybe just rub your shoulder a little to calm you down, and just tell you that you’re safe, and he would have Sam and Dean take care of it if you wanted them to. He’s definitely super supportive, I’ll give him that much.

Gabriel: Um..so I LOVE Gabe, to the death, but this guy would probably make a joke out of it. I hate to think that he would, but he just fucking might, unless you really mean something to him, then he would fucking blow someone off the map. But he doesn’t care about too many people, so be careful about that.

Michael: He is not gonna give a single fuck, so don’t even think he would.

Lucifer: Much like his big brother on this one, but a little more extreme. He’s gonna be a pretty toxic fuck about it, so don’t even bother opening up to him. Just don’t.

Crowley: MY GUY. LOVE. He’s got some venom, lemme tell you. Someone hurt you? Darling, don’t fret over it, he will take care of it. It’s done. It’s super simple, and he will make sure they suffer. Oh you don’t want them to? HAHA well..too late for that.

Rowena: It will depend more on how much you mean to her over how the situation makes her feel. She may not like that someone hurt you, but that doesn’t mean she will pay any attention to it unless she feels it’s important to her to do so. But if she does, expect the same of her as you do from Crowley. DING DONG, that person will be dead.

Garth: Ah so he probably will notice because Garth pays attention to that shit, but he probably wouldn’t push you about it. He’s sort of awkward, so don’t take it personally, but if you break down he might end up pushing you to tell him what the hell is going on. Once you tell him, be prepared for some greasy food, a beer, and a person that will try to cheer you up, because that’s all him.

Charlie: Literally one of my favorite characters ever, I swear to the gods. She might be confused at first as to why you reacted to her that way, but she wouldn’t take it personally, I promise. She would probably lead you somewhere quiet and alone and try to gently ease the truth out of you, but don’t be scared, because she will genuinely always listen to you. She cares so much, and that’s her biggest heartwarming trait and, ultimately, her downfall.

Kevin: KEEEEEEVVVVVVIN. YES. He may act all tough about it and say he will end them for you, but he’s a small boy, and he will probably not be able to do shit, but it’s the thought that counts. He’s much better at trying to cheer you up, which is also what he would do, and he might avoid forcing you to explain it to him altogether. He cares about you, and you only.

Cain: He is a pretty scary dude, I get it, but if you really believe he wouldn’t end that son of a bitch that ever decided to harm you, you’re damn wrong. And he would enjoy it too, more than he would care to admit.

Jo: It wouldn’t take her long to figure it out on her own, which is what she’s good at, but she isn’t gonna let it go. Who are they, and where are they? They deserve to get knocked out.

Ellen: What a MOM, that’s all I gotta say. She wouldn’t push you to speak about it, but she would want to know if you were safe now, or if she had to hurt someone for you. She also wouldn’t trust anyone with you besides the family, ever again, and she might force Dean and Sam to babysit you. Just let her mother you, please.

Ash: HA HA this man would do everything in his power to fuck someone up. He doesn’t care what they are, who they are, or if they’re still around, he would just want to be absolutely sure you were safe now. He has ways of finding shit out, so if you don’t tell him, he will find out, so just make it easier on yourself.

John Winchester: As much as I’d like to believe he wouldn’t care, he would. And he would have something to say about it. He may not step in to do anything, but he would lecture the fuck out of you, that you know better and blah blah blah.

Mary Winchester: Unlike her husband, she would have a lot less to say about the problem and much more shit she would do about it, physically.

Ruby: She wouldn’t care. If you think she would, that’s a lie. Sorry.

Meg: She would be thinking of all the ways to end a human life in a matter of seconds. She’s a creative girl, I’ll give her that, and stubborn too.

Chuck: Do I even have to respond for this one? He wouldn’t care. He would probably even bypass any mention of your pain, and Dean and Sam would have to make you feel better. This is why Dean would be the one to knock him tf out.

Benny: Big Ben would, for obvious reasons, be heartbroken that you would ever think he would hurt you, but much like Dean, he’s a violent guy. Do I have to explain further?

Balthazar: Who are you, again?

Death: He would just end their life in under 2 seconds flat. He is the man you should go to if you’re out for vengeance. He doesn’t much care for human lives, and would gladly help you out if need be, as long as you make him a hot pocket.

Zachariah: Don’t tell him shit. #dickwad

Lisa: She would be a lot like Ellen, and would probably mother the fuck out of you about it. Need some tea, maybe a sandwich? Wanna have some wine and just look at old photo albums and laugh at Dean’s young self? She’s there for you.

Jody: Another mother figure, but she would be way more built on vengeance and irritation than anything else. Do you need help ending someone? She could help cover it up for you, no charge.

Samuel Campbell: Nah. Just..nah.

Arthur Ketch: Don’t waste your TIME man. This man hasn’t cared about anyone since he was born.

Gadreel: He won’t care. You think he will? BOOM. Still doesn’t. Sorry.

#dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural family #supernatural

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a-mandala-rose · 3 years

Text

You Spin Me Right Round...

I’ve never written a meta post about an episode before, so with only three episodes left, I figured this is the perfect time to start. It typically takes me a few days to process and gather my thoughts, because much like Dean this season, I’m rather slow on the uptake. By the time I have something to say, it usually feels like the moment has passed. But what the hell. We’re three episodes from the end and I have FEELINGS.

To start, I’m going to back up a moment and talk about 15X16 (see “slow on the uptake,” above). Lots of fans, myself included, found themselves frustrated with watching what at first glance seems to be your run of the mill MOTW episode. A *good* MOTW, for sure, but still, with only four episodes left to go, it felt like we should be past this by now. In fact, “aren’t we past this?” seemed to be the theme of the entire episode and that alone should have clued us in that despite appearances, this episode was anything but just another MOTW. If that was too subtle, Billie’s pointed “you’re working a case? Now?” should have been a dead give away that we needed to look deeper. And many tried, but the most a lot of us could come up with was the brothers’ big emotional argument at the end and even that was a giant moment of “been there, done that.” Why at what should be a pivotal point in the series are we rehashing the same arguments we’ve been watching for the past 15 years?

Jumping ahead to 15X17 for a moment, we see Dean absolutely breaking down. He’s losing it. Imploding. Leaving aside all of the problematic comments about and to Jack (we’ll come back to that), Dean lays out the crux of the problem when he and Jack are talking in the Impala: he doesn’t know what’s real. Like he’s been saying all season, he’s lost the perspective to be able to tell what about his life has been his choice and what has been Chuck’s machinations. He’s stuck in Chuck’s hamster wheel. Going ‘round and ‘round. Repeating the same scenes, lines, hunts, and arguments on a loop. Wait…why does that ring a bell?

Back to 15X16 and NOW it makes sense. Why are we stuck in yet another MOTW episode? Why is Dean lying to Sam again? Why is he once again sacrificing someone he loves, leading them “into the meat grinder?” Why is he backsliding on all that great emotional growth we saw last season? Why is he repeating the same destructive patterns that thanks to Kaitlyn, we know he’s been stuck in since childhood? IT’S THE HAMSTER WHEEL. Round and round we go…but whose hamster wheel is it?

Back to 15X17, LOTS going on in this episode and I’m not going to touch on all of it. But some highlights [and these are in no particular order because 1) I’m scatterbrained as hell and 2) the fuck does it matter anyways, because as we’ve established, we’re just going around in a big ass circle here]:

We see some absolutely masterful manipulation by Chuck. Manipulating Dean in order to manipulate Amara because he knows thanks to their “bond,” she’ll never turn on Dean…unless he betrays her first…which brings us to two of the biggest points in this episode. First off, we learn that Chuck didn’t write the Dean/Amara bond, which, as many more brilliant meta minds have pointed out before me, mirrors Dean and Cas’ profound bond, which we learn at the end of the episode was also NOT written by Chuck (and in fact pisses him off quite a bit, to put it mildly.) This reminds us that though he claims to be omniscient, Chuck is definitely NOT omnipotent and while he may be able to control space and time, one thing he can’t control is human emotional bonds and relationships. And this friends, this is important. In fact, it’s everything.

Right before Chuck confesses that Castiel is, as Cas fans have long insisted, the very embodiment of free will (more on that later), Sam references Eileen, which, yes, is very sweet, but also...also, is a call back to their relationship, specifically, to Eileen’s fears that her feelings for Sam weren’t genuine. She wonders what about her and Sam’s relationship was real and what was Chuck, which we knew at the time was a mirror to Dean’s “What about all this is real?” The answer, of course? “We are.” And now we have confirmation: emotional bonds/relationships are REAL. They might be manipulated by Chuck, but they aren’t created by him and clearly, he can’t understand them. That’s illustrated several times in this episode. His reaction to Dean’s “icky” bond with Amara. His inability to "feel the love" of the angels she took him to see. His cold manipulation of his sister. The throwback to the way he threw Adam and Eve, his first human children, out of the Garden and then used their sons to further his own plans. His consternation with Castiel for not doing as he was told after he raised Dean from perdition.

Chuck doesn’t understand and didn’t create emotions. Which seems obvious wen you think about the fact that his first sentient children didn’t have them. Emotions are a specifically HUMAN creation and that is what makes humans so frustrating and incomprehensible to Chuck. It’s why he hates them. Not only are a few of them very disobedient pets, as a whole they've created something he cannot. What a blow to the ego that must be.

The second thing referenced by Amara and Chuck’s conversations about Dean is his betrayal of her. Chuck’s telling Amara that Dean is sending her to the “meat grinder” is not a coincidence. That language is a deliberate mirror to Dean accusing his alternate future self of sending Cas to the meat grinder in The End (That’s only one of several parallels Unity makes with The End. For a much more thorough accounting, check out castielslostwings’ Twitter thread.), which, as I referenced above, also parallels Dean’s willingness to send Jack on a suicide mission. What do these things all have in common? Each time, Dean is ignoring his own instincts, his own “moral compass,” in favor of a plan. In The End, he regrets his choice to say no to Michael…to veer from Michael’s, aka God’s, aka Chuck’s plan and is trying to recreate it by killing Lucifer/Sam. Now he’s following Billie’s plan, even though it clearly feels wrong to him. We can see that in the way he tries to distance himself from Jack. The way he tries to convince himself that Jack isn’t family. That he’s different from Sam and from Cas, even though he’s told Jack before that he IS family. Even though when he was angriest with Jack and distraught with grief over Mary, he still told Belphegor that Jack was “our kid.” We can see it too in the way he reacts equally defensively when Sam brings up how they’re about to betray Amara in 15X15 and again in 15X17 when we can see Dean flinch when she tells him they’ll always help one another. This feels wrong to him, but he’s doing it anyways because he thinks he has no choice.

Looking back over seasons’ past, the two ever-present themes in Supernatural have been free will (obviously) and found family. They’ve always been intertwined. We’ve watched time and time again as Sam, Dean, and Cas choose one another. But now we have those two themes coalescing more than ever before. Every time any of them chooses “the plan” over their family, shit goes sideways. And now we know it’s because, as Chuck has made pretty damn clear in his manipulation of Billie’s plan, he’s omniscient and he controls all time and space. All plans are HIS plan.

But what doesn’t he control? Emotions. And the bonds they create between people. It’s in choosing one another that Team Free Will has always thwarted Chuck’s plan. Dean refusing to go down the path laid out for him in The End. Cas refusing to "hurt Dean Winchester." Sam refusing to reap MoC Dean. Dean refusing to shoot Jack in that cemetery. The boys refusing to hurt one another, again and again and again. The boys choosing one another again and again and again. And I think that's what Chuck really wants to break. Why he's so obsessed with getting his ending. This is what Becky was getting at in her critique of his story. Chuck doesn't understand his characters, because he doesn’t understand feelings. He hates this creation of humanity that has become more important to them and more defining of them than anything else, including him. So, he wants to conquer it. He wants to manipulate the situation to make his characters choose something of his divining over their emotional bonds to one another. Those bonds he didn't create and that he, in all of his omniscience and power, cannot sever.

15X17 confirms that free will is real. Cas chose to disobey. That wasn’t written by Chuck. And speaking of Cas, let’s look at our biggest two parallels of the season: Dean and Cas. (Sorry Sam. Sit this one out.) Cas, who Chuck has just identified as the epitome of free will. Cas who, once a mindless soldier, abandoned heaven’s plan. Who found his new purpose when he chose to become a father. Who follows his instincts over the plan because “something went wrong” and “the plan changed.” Versus Dean. Dean who has spent this entire season feeling trapped. Who keeps choosing “the plan” over his family and finds his cage getting smaller by the minute.

Back to 15X16. I asked before whose hamster wheel is Dean on? Dean says it’s Chuck’s, but that assumed that free will was a lie. Now we know it’s not. Free will is real and Chuck never even had to take it away from Dean. Dean gave it up as soon as he started following someone else’s plan instead of his own. Dean’s hamster wheel is of his own making.

There are so many more things I could say about 15X17. For starters, those chapter titles…are they referencing Chuck’s story? Or are they chapters in his death book, the one we saw in this episode and Chuck himself referenced? After all, Billie’s read that book, so she must have known “her” plan would fail. But she went down that path anyways…And speaking of Billie, I haven’t even touched on her or the Empty. The Empty says Billie wants “everything back where it belongs” with angels in heaven and demons in hell. Wait. That sounds familiar. Oh yes! My new favorite demon, Zack, said that in our other most recent “just a MOTW” episode. It seems Rowena wants something similar. Isn’t that interesting? And speaking of Rowena, if there’s one thing this show loves, it’s duality. Parallels. They’re everywhere…except, it seems, when it comes to the queen of Hell. Who will mirror Rowena? How interesting that we visited that empty throne room in Heaven last week…

BUT…the main thing here is this: Unity. This episode was about unity and now we have a unified Chuck and Amara. We’re going to need a unified TFW in order to defeat them. Because that is the key to defeating Chuck. Choosing one another…choosing our found family, the ones we’ve created those bonds with…again and again and again.

#supernatural #meta #Mandaladoesmeta #Season 15 #spn 15X16 #spn 15X17

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adammilligan · 4 years

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i love your blog (and midam of course) ❤��❤ and i just wanted to ask, in your opinion, what are the fav places they enjoy visiting all across the universe? mike being an archangel, we could take them on the sun if he wanted to but the earth is very pretty and fun so... what is there top 5 places?? (sorry for the silly question haha)

thank you so much!!!! and hmm that’s tricky because i feel like they’d travel anywhere and everywhere just because they can, since they’d love the feeling of just being free and unrestricted to do whatever. so here are my ideas for their “favorite” places!! 5. parks! i feel like they’d love parks a lot—think like yellowstone national park or zion national park! i feel like they’d like to be around nature (i think that a thousand years with only michael for company would leave adam a little bit off when it comes to social interaction with others, at first, so he’d be taking it easy for a bit), and that michael would probably especially like the view from the top of mountain peaks and such; seeing as he commented on the unhealthiness of things like greasy diner hamburgers, i wouldn’t be surprised if he’d also comment on the bad air quality that cities can have, which adam can agree with, so they take lots of hikes and visit lots of parks! (and adam jokingly starts looking for bigfoot and accidentally comes across a wendigo or something, but that’s a story for another time) 4. the ocean! i highly doubt that adam’s ever seen the ocean before, it was only him and his mother and she was always working at the hospital, and i really doubt that adam ever left minnesota until he went to the university of wisconsin because of that. so i think that he’d love the ocean, because it’s something entirely new that he’s never seen before and he’d probably think that it’d be fun to try to find crabs on the beach and stuff. it’d also be funny if michael saw the ocean and got...noah’s ark flashbacks or something lmao. but i think that michael would find the ocean more interesting from a different perspective, let’s say...the bottom? so he just flies them both way down into the ocean (since adam doesn’t technically need to breathe, and michael would protect him from all the pressure at the bottom) and they look at all the freaky looking fish and adam’s biology major brain goes into overdrive, having a blast, and meanwhile michael’s staring at something like the stargazer fish and being all “father...for what purpose did you create something like this....” 3. as boring as it sounds, i honestly think michael and adam would have a lot of fun at religious places, especially those that are dedicated to michael (think like the mont-saint-michel abbey in france or the sanctuary of monte sant’angelo in italy), solely because there’s probably a lot of misinterpretations about michael that humans have and adam thinks it’s so funny for someone to make a claim about michael and michael’s just right next to him going “that is!!! not correct!!!!!!!!! where did you even get that from!!!!!!!!” and also just looking at all the paintings of what they think michael looks like and adam trying to coax michael into shapeshifting to match the faces in the paintings for shits and giggles or something. and also i think they’d like it because of the architectural design (adam would, at least) and michael would view the places as something nostalgic that reminds him of heaven back when it was at its mightiest. 2. i’ll say it a million times if i need to—space! i’m about 98% sure michael would do something to cheer adam up like telling him to close his eyes and then when adam opens them again they’re on mars. they’d go find a planet a billion light-years away and adam starts literally cheering when they find water on it. michael stills the rings around a planet enough for them to sit on said rings and watch a supernova happening right in front of their eyes. it’d probably blow adam away, and michael likes seeing him happy and he also likes the reminder that even if god is solely focused on humanity there’s still so much more that he’s created that’s beautiful as well. if they ever get an apartment somewhere adam absolutely collects little pebbles from these other planets and lines them up on a windowsill or something like that. michael doesn’t quite understand why, when he could just fly them back to the planet at any time, but adam wants to and it brings him happiness so he settles for joining him in his little rock collection. 1. truthfully, i can’t come up with a number one, because i really do think that adam and michael would pretty much find any place great to hang out as long as they get to experience it together—adam finds more joy in spending time with michael than he does actually visiting any place, and michael finds more joy in spending time with adam than he does viewing all the little human things on earth. they could probably spend another thousand years in another small town like windom and be entirely content just to be around each other; it’s what makes their interactions so fun to watch: they just genuinely like being around each other!!! they very clearly could’ve gone their own ways after they left the cage, and they didn’t because they care about each other!!! and visiting any place with someone you love being around instantly makes it 100x better. :)

#WOW THAT WAS SO LONG SORRY ABOUT THAT #this took me like....forty five minutes to answer and i regret nothing #but anyways yeah i love them #midam #asks

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maluminspace · 4 years

Text

Genre: Fluff

Pairings: Michael Clifford/Reader

Word Count: 2.7

Requested: @clffrd

Hufflepuff Michael / Slytherin Reader - playful arguments in detention!

Trigger Warnings: strong language

A/N: I really loved writing this! I love you Effy, I hope you enjoy this 🥰

***

The late afternoon sun cast long shadows across the spacious transfiguration classroom as you traipsed inside. It’s unsurprisingly empty, seeing as you’re a little early for your detention. Sighing, you drop your satchel down onto the nearest desk before wondering over to the cages and glass tanks lining one of the walls. You head straight for the hedgehogs, having always had a soft spot for them. Most of them are curled up in little spiky balls, sleeping soundly in the warmth of the light filtering in through the tall windows of the ground floor room. After quickly checking in on each of the other species in the various cages, you head back over to the desk where you’d left your bag, grumpily contemplating why you’d ended up here in the first place.

Despite being no stranger to detention, you’re adamant that this particular punishment is uncalled for. It’s not your fault that Luke Hemmings is a fucking clumsy shit. How were you ever meant to anticipate that he’d lean forward in his chair at the very moment you cast the enlargement charm on the marble in front of him. In your opinion, you’re entirely blameless for the fact that the charm hit Luke’s nose and the resulting effect, which was that his nose swelled to the size of an average grapefruit.

When the sound of footsteps approaching the classroom drifts in from the corridor, you glance up at the doorway, fully expecting your transfiguration professor to appear there at any moment. However, you’re somewhat surprised when the only person that appears is one of your fellow students. Your heart skips a little as you notice the flurry of fluffy pink hair and Hufflepuff robes, knowing they can only mean the arrival of one person. Your friend and long term crush; Michael Clifford.

“Surprise, my little rainbow boa.” Michael smiles, looking thoroughly pleased with himself for some reason as he sweeps into the room, claiming the desk next to you. Most other people usually assume that he chose that snake at random just because you’re a Slytherin, but that’s not true at all. He chose it because you spoke about them during in your very first class together shortly after arriving at Hogwarts. You’d told him they were one of your very favourite animals and he’d obviously associated them with you after that. Of course, being from an all Slytherin family, snakes have always been a big part of your life. Unlike most families, however, yours have always dedicated a lot of time to conservation work and breeding programmes for endangered species. During the summer before coming to Hogwarts, you’d accompanied your parents on a trip to help out one of their friends with a breeding programme for Brazillian Rainbow Boas. You’d fallen in love with their pretty iridescent scales and pretty patterns. The enthusiasm with which you’d described them to Michael during that first class, had seemingly made quite an impact on him. He’s called you ‘rainbow boa’ or ‘bow’ or ‘boa’ ever since and it never fails to bring butterflies to your tummy.

As pleased as you are to see him, you’re also very confused. You weren’t aware that anyone else had detention today. “What’re you doing here, flossy?” Your pet name for him had been born during your third year at Hogwarts, when Michael had tried to show off by casting the colour changing spell on your beanie hat, unfortunately it had backfired and turned his blonde hair bright pink. You’d told him that it looked like candy floss and he’d been surprisingly pleased about that. So pleased, in fact, that he’d intentionally changed it to a less garish shade of pink which he’s kept ever since.

Michael scoffs, slumping back in his seat, although the use of your fond pet name for him brings a tinge of colour to his cheeks. “You could act a little more pleased to see me!” He states, folding his arms across the front of his crumpled robes. “I’m gifting you with my company so that you don’t have to suffer this boring fate alone!”

You raise a questioning eyebrow, silently awaiting a more insightful explanation.

“It’s incredibly lucky for you that I was caught graffiting the side of the greenhouses this afternoon.” He elaborates, loosening his tie to give himself an even more dishevelled appearance.

His story isn’t entirely believable. Michael has been known to be mischievous in class and it’s definitely not out of the ordinary for him to end his day in detention. However, his disregard of school rules usually revolve around him talking too loudly in the library or deliberately disrupting boring classwork with random acts of clownery. Vandalism of any kind, has never really been something he’d gotten into trouble for before, so it strikes you as more than a little bit odd.

Before you can question your friend on whether or not his story is bullshit, your transfiguration teacher, Mr Barkridge, arrives. He shuffles into the classroom, his infamously long, grey moustache fluttering in the breeze he creates with his own brisk pace. He’s wearing a typically irritated expression as he fixes you and Michael with a stern glare. “Don’t get too comfortable, there.” He barks, his croaky voice grating your nerves as it always does. “You won’t be staying in here this afternoon.”

You exchange a curious look with Michael before you both get to your feet. “I thought we were meant to be re-organising your textbooks, professor.” You ponder out loud.

An almost sadistic smile takes over the elderly man’s face as he shakes his head. “Change of plan. You can both leave your bags here, you can collect them when I dismiss you.” He turns on his heel and gestures for you both to follow him.

Still curious as to what's happening, you hastily take off after the teacher, aware of Michael following close behind you.

As if he can read your mind, Mr Barkridge breaks the silence just moments after you exit classroom 1B into the semi-outdoor corridor that lines the middle courtyard. “I’ve left two yard brushes and two buckets of water out on the courtyard for you.” He explains in the most chirpy voice you’ve ever heard him use.

“And what is it that we’re meant to be doing, sir?” Michael asks, taking the words right out of your mouth as you near the archway that leads out onto the paved courtyard.

Mr Barkridge smirks, his brown eyes twinkling with something like glee. A most unusual emotion for the grumpiest teacher at Hogwarts. “Well my sixth years were practicing their bird conjuring charm this afternoon, Mr Clifford.” He replies delightedly. “As I’m sure you’re aware, our little winged friends can leave behind quite a mess!”

You have to bite back a giggle at the expression on Michael’s face he realises that your detention task is cleaning up bird poop.

Your friend’s disgusted expression seems to delight the professor even further as halts under the archway. “I expect this courtyard to be gleaming when I return in an hour.” Professor Barkridge sneers at the two of you. “If there’s even a spec of bird mess left when I carry out my inspection, you’ll both find yourselves back here tomorrow to repeat the process, do you understand?”

You nod in confirmation and you’re vaguely aware of Michael doing the same thing, before you both turn towards the cleaning implements that have been left for you against the low wall surrounding the semi-outdoor corridor.

Professor Barkridge clears his throat before you’ve even taken two steps and you halt, turning back to shoot him a questioning glance.

“Your wands…” The elderly teacher sneers, holding out a wrinkly hand to each of you. “I’m not stupid enough to believe that neither of you will try to cheat by using magic.”

It’s a huge effort not to roll your eyes as you pull your wand out from your Slytherin robes and out of the corner of your eye you see Michael handing his over, too.

“But what if we need more water?” The Hufflepuff asks, looking genuinely perplexed.

A bark of croaky laughter bursts from the teacher before he replies. “There are various bathroom facilities in the school, Mr Clifford.” He scoffs. “You have been here for five years, I know you’re aware of where they are, you’ve been excused from class often enough to use them. All of the bathrooms contain a piece of equipment called a sink, which all have taps that dispense hot and cold water. Please feel free to use those to refill your buckets.”

You have to bite back a laugh as Michael blushes with embarrassment.

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it.” Professor Barkridge nods, still looking disgustingly pleased with himself. “I’ll be back in an hour.” He heads off towards his office without a backwards glance and you watch him until he turns a corner and disappears from sight.

Michael sighs dramatically as he grabs one of the yard brushes and a bucket. “This is gonna fucking suck.” He mutters, tipping a little of the water over the nearest patch of bird poo.

You nod in agreement, glancing around the mucky courtyard. “We’re never gonna finish this in one hour.” You grumble, taking hold of your own brush and bucket of water. “Especially since you don’t know how to fill up a bucket without magic.”

The Hufflepuff sneers at you as his cheeks heat up, turning a deep pink as he purposely sweeps some water your way. “Fuck you, boa.” He hisses, although his expression when he glances over at you , is all-too-fond. “I bless you with my company and this is how you repay me?”

Chuckling, you sidestep the mini wave Michael sweeps your way before moving your bucket to a patch a few feet away from him. “I never asked you to keep me company.” You reply honestly, tipping a little of your water over a particularly shitty cluster of paving stones.

Michael’s blush deepens a little bit as he drops his gaze, apparently becoming seriously interested in the job at hand all of a sudden. “Well I’m not mad that we got to spend this bit of extra time together.” He mumbles, scrubbing the ground a little too enthusiastically and splashing water over his own shoes.

“Is that why you lied about vandalising the greenhouses? To spend an hour scrubbing up bird shit with me?” You ask, your voice sounding a little cautious. Even though you’re fairly sure Michael would never graffiti on one of his beloved greenhouses, there’s still a tiny niggling doubt that maybe you’ve misjudged this whole situation.

He mumbles something that you can’t quite make out as he concentrates on his task, deliberately avoiding your gaze.

“What was that, flossy?” You smirk, stepping a little closer to him so that you can hear him better when he speaks again.

“I said I don’t know why you’d think I’d lie about something like that…” Michael responds, shrugging his shoulders as he continues to stare at the ground he’s brushing. “It’s not like I want to be in detention.”

Even though you can’t see much of Michael’s face behind his long fringe, you can tell by his tone of voice that he’s being cagy and he also sounds a little embarrassed. This is classic Michael behaviour after he’s been caught out on something. It’s your confirmation that you’re right about him not being a vandal. He obviously isn’t in the mood to talk about it right now, though, so you decide to drop the subject for the time being. “Well regardless of how you ended up here, I’m still distressed that you don’t know how to fill a bucket with water without magic.”

Without saying a word Michael picks up his bucket again and swiftly sloshes some more water onto the paving stones. He purposely ensures that he aims it close enough to you that some of it splashes up at you, soaking the bottom of your robes.

An involuntary squeal escapes you as you pick up your own bucket and deliberately soak Michael’s feet with a hefty portion of its contents.

The Hufflepuff lets out a squeaky yell as the water soaks through the bottom of his trouser legs. “I’m gonna get you for that!” He threatens jokingly, dropping his yard brush and lunging at you, hands outstretched ready to tickle your sides.

Luckily for you, he’s a creature of habit. You manage to anticipate his move in enough time to sidestep the ‘attack’. It would be easy for you to deflect him and run away, but instead it’s like the part of you that wants him as more than a friend takes over your usually rational mind. You grab him with both hands and push him against the nearest stone pillar, pinning him to it by his wrists.

Michael lets out an involuntary gasp as you inadvertently press your body against his. He goes pliant in your grasp, sinking back against the wall as his startled eyes drift to your lips. Without allowing yourself to overthink it, you lean in closer to him until the tip of your nose is touching his. “You need to get better moves, Clifford.” You whisper, ensuring that he can feel your breath on his lips.

The Hufflepuff meets your gaze as he tilts his head to one side ever-so-slightly. “I agree.” He replies before surging forward to close the tiny gap between his lips and yours. The kiss is soft and hesitant but you melt into it easily. It doesn’t feel real at first, you’ve imagined this moment hundreds of times but it somehow feels even more perfect than any daydream you’ve ever had about it.

“Well that’s certainly a new move, flossy.” You giggle breathlessly, as you pull back from him, fully aware that you’re blushing terribly.

Michael lets out a small chuckle too as he twists his wrists in your grip. You release him reluctantly but you’re rewarded when he cups your cheek gently with one hand. “I’ve wanted to do that forever.” He confesses quitely, his nerves clear in his soft tone.

“What stopped you?” You ask, leaning into his touch.

Michael shrugs, “I dunno… I guess part of me would never believe you’d like me as more than a friend.”

Giggling you place a kiss on his cheek. “We’re more alike than I care to admit, flossy.”

Michael regards you with a confused expression for a moment. It’s very in character for him to not even contemplate the possibility that you’ve liked him back this whole time.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the second you sat next to me in our first ever Charms class five years ago.” You admit, cautiously interlacing your fingers with his at your side. “I just never thought you saw me that way, either.”

“That’s a very ‘us’ thing to do.” Michael smiles sweetly. “I can’t believe we could have been kissing this whole time.”

As much as you want to continue this tender moment with your long-term crush, you know that if you don’t get on with your detention task, the two of you will get into even bigger trouble. That’s just something you can’t allow to happen when your O.W.L exams are fast approaching. “Well we can make up for it after this detention.” You smirk, reluctantly backing away from him. “You can sit at the Slytherin table for dinner and then take me to the library.”

Michael blushes at your insinuation and suggestive tone, but agrees to it eagerly as he picks up his brush again. “I’ve always loved how direct you are.” He muses out loud. “You always know what you want, that's part of what attracts me to you so much.”

Trying not to act like the love-sick puppy you’re quickly becoming, you pick up your own brush and fix him with a knowing smirk. “I always know when you’re lying too, flossy, don’t forget that.”

Michael rolls his eyes, finally conceding that he’s not going to get away with his bullshit about the vandalism. “Fine, I lied about the greenhouse graffiti.” He confesses. “It wasn’t me that drew the dick on the door, Luke did it earlier in the day. I told Professor Boyde it was me because Luke wasn’t there to take the blame anyway since you blew up his nose in the class before. I knew you’d gotten detention for that and I wanted to keep you company.”

Your heart melts at Michael’s sweet gesture. As far as teenage love goes, taking the punishment for someone else so that he could spend an hour in detention with you, is just about as romantic as it gets.

Tag list: @clffrd @byxthexway @afuckingunicornn @painkillerash @moonchildsblack @calumbbyyy @h0tsos @loveroflrh @sexgodashton @megz1985 @myfalsedevotion @aulxna @honeyedlashton @tea4sykes @ghostofmashton @fairyintheglass @cashworthy @cashtonasfuck @opheliaaurora23 @5sosnsfw @wildmichaelflower @myloverboyash @loverofcashton @irwinkitten @cxddlyash @wildmalumflower @cashtonasff5sos @iovehemmings @kindawannacryx @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @celticclifford @5-secondsofcolor

#michael clifford #michael clifford fluff #michael clifford imagine #michael clifford blurb #michael clifford fic #5sos #5sos fluff #5sos blurb #5sos imagine #5sos fic #michael fluff #michael imagine #michael blurb #michael fic #hufflepuff!michael #slytherin!reader #hogwarts!sos #my writing #clffrd

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askthebunker · 4 years

Text

The Beach Episode

“That’s just about everything,” Gabriel said, putting his hands on his hips as he looked out at the beach that had never been discovered by anyone before. He’d set up a few umbrellas as well as a picnic table with Sam earlier in the day and now they were just waiting on the others to arrive.

“It looks great, Gabe,” Sam smiled weakly before taking a deep breath, “I want everything to be perfect for Jack today, y’know?”

“No pressure, right?” Gabriel winked at him.

“You know what I mean,” Sam sighed, “It’s just...things have been weird, with everything happening. I want to make things up to Jack.”

“That’s not your job, Samoose,” Gabriel gave him a sympathetic smile, “You’re not the one who has the most making up to do.”

“He’s trying,” Sam explained, “That’s part of today, he’s going to try, he’s not going to drink, and he’s going to have a good time. We’re all going to have a good time.”

“Whatever you say,” Gabriel said, grabbing his hand and kissing it, “Let’s just...not get our hopes too high, okay? I know this is what you want, but all of us in one place…” he trailed off, “Hasn’t worked out the best in the past.”

“Never hurts to try,” Sam shrugged.

Gabriel just continued to smile sympathetically at him until the familiar sound of wings came through the air.

“Sam! Uncle Gabriel! Hello!” Jack said cheerfully.

When Sam looked up, Jack was standing with Michael, Adam, and Raphael, wearing a pair of plastic sunglasses that had neon green rims.

“We brought pie,” Raphael offered after a beat of silence, awkwardly holding out the circular pan, “Adam made it from items he grew in his garden. Why are you all so irritating? I like him just fine.”

Sam gave them a tight smile, taking the pan, “Thanks, guys,” he turned his attention to Jack, ignoring the comment, “How’s it going, Jack?”

“Good,” Jack grinned, “I am starting school this Fall, we all decided. I am very excited.”

“That’s...that’s great,” Sam smiled at him, “As long as everything goes according to plan…”

“Jack wants to go to school, so he’s going,” Adam said simply, “Regardless of what happens.”

Sam took a deep breath and gave him a tight smile, “Of course, whatever Jack wants.”

“Where are the others?” Adam changed the subject.

“You guys are the first ones here,” Sam shrugged, “Gabe and I came here to set up early since the place was essentially never discovered by humanity. We cleaned it up a bit.”

“Thanks for that,” Adam said simply, putting down the food as well as a bag, “Jack, make sure you put on sunscreen again soon, please.”

Jack nodded and sat down in the sand, grabbing Michael’s arm and pulling him down with him, “I’m going to teach Uncle Michael how to build a sandcastle.”

“Sounds great, bud,” Adam said simply, sitting down at the picnic table beside Raphael.

“Go talk to him,” Gabriel told Sam quietly, “Trust me, Raph isn’t much of a conversation starter, they’re just gonna sit there in silence.”

“There’s not much to talk about,” Sam swallowed.

“Never hurts to try,” Gabriel gave him a weak smirk, repeating his earlier words.

Sam just sighed again, smiling slightly at him before walking over.

Jack glanced up as Sam walked over to Adam and bumped Michael slightly.

Michael glanced up as well and cleared his throat, “Raphael, would you like to join us?”

The archangel squinted in confusion, “Why?”

“Because we need to spend time with Jack,” Michael said simply, “And I am asking you to.”

Raphael simply sighed and they walked over, sitting down in the sand and wrinkling their nose as they did, “I do not enjoy this,” they said immediately.

Sam sat down across from Adam, “Hey,” he said awkwardly, “How have...things been? We haven’t seen you since we came over to check out the house.”

“Fine,” Adam said, “I have a job at an antique shop in town. Jack wants to sell some of the stuff we grow in our garden, so Michael is helping him build a little stand.”

Sam nodded slowly, “Uh...so, there’s a thing going around...that you and Michael are expecting a kid?”

“Yes,” Adam deadpanned, “Is that going to be a problem?”

“What? No,” Sam said quickly, “I mean, we’d like to know if we’re gonna be uncles, y’know? We’re happy for you.”

“I’m sure you are,” Adam sighed, looking down at his phone and playing with it absentmindedly, despite there definitely not being any signal on the beach they were on.

“We’ll keep you and your kid safe from all of this,” Sam told him firmly.

“I don’t need you to,” Adam told him, “I genuinely don’t. I can take care of myself and even if I couldn’t, Michael is the first ever archangel. He’s powerful. I don’t need you to protect my child when we’re both very capable. I definitely don’t need Dean around my kid either.”

“Dean isn’t a bad guy, Adam,” Sam sighed, “We both made mistakes with Jack, we’re dealing with that and trying to make up for it.”

“You went along with it because he’s your big brother and he’s all you’ve ever known as a caretaker,” Adam snapped, “It’s definitely not healthy, but I understand you. Dean has treated Jack like shit since the beginning.”

“Don’t...do that. Don’t psychoanalyze us like you’re…” Sam trailed off, “Act human, dude. You’re not a robot.”

“I’m not though,” Adam sighed, “Sam...I spent over a thousand years with Michael and Lucifer. Things happen. I’m not human anymore. I don’t...one hundred percent know what I am, but it’s not human. I’m not saying I’m above you, I’m just saying...things get put into perspective when you have that long to think. The idea of petty drama and dealing with human bullshit is just nothing to me anymore.”

Sam watched him curiously, not sure what to say.

“I spent over a thousand years in Hell, Sam,” Adam sighed, “I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t bring myself to care about things that don’t matter to me anymore. Jack is my nephew, he was in a bad situation because of Dean, and now he’s not. Jack doesn’t have to forgive you guys, just like I don’t have to forgive any of you for letting me rot in Hell for all that time,” he stood up, “I came here today to spend time with my nephew, not debate my emotions with you.”

What emotions? Sam wanted to say, but stopped himself.

Dean probably wouldn’t have been so kind.

“I guess you were right though...we wanted to take Jack away from you, we just didn’t know it at the time,” Adam said simply before walking over and sitting down with the archangels and Jack in the sand.

“I’m guessing that didn’t go well?” Gabriel asked, walking over and sitting down beside him.

“Does it ever with him?” Sam mumbled.

“No, but if your boyfriend was an extreme optimist, would you tell him that?” Gabriel asked.

Before Sam could say anything else, the others appeared.

“This is awesome,” Charlie grinned, “We’re, like, the first people ever to be here, right?”

“That’s true,” Gabriel said, “Completely undiscovered by humanity; cool, right?”

“Definitely,” Kevin smiled.

“Sixty five percent of earth is still undiscovered by humanity, it’s not surprising,” Samandriel deadpanned.

Kevin just rolled his eyes, “C’mon, man, let’s get in the water.”

“Why?” Samandriel looked confused as he was drug over to the shoreline.

“Socially inept angels plus one beach day,” Dean walked over to Sam and Gabriel, “Entertaining, at least,” he said, looking confused when he saw the two archangels attempting to build a sandcastle with Jack and Adam’s help. He gestured to them, making Sam laugh.

“So,” Gabriel grinned as Benny, Balthazar, and Castiel all sat down with them, “Are we going to start a betting pool on how long it’ll take Heaven’s Most Adorable Angel and Heaven’s Most Adorable Prophet to get together?”

“Well, unless they’re like Charlie and refuse to make a move, probably soon- OW!” Dean groaned when Charlie threw a frisbee at the back of his head, “Hey!”

“Zip it,” Charlie told him immediately, “And come play frisbee with us.”

“I want to play!” Jack got up quickly.

Michael and Raphael sighed in relief, getting up from the sand almost in-sync and dusting themselves off, making Adam laugh.

Dean hesitated when Jack ran over and Sam shoved him lightly.

“Go,” the younger Winchester mumbled, giving him a look.

Dean sighed and grabbed the frisbee from where it landed beside him, rubbing the back of his head, “Nice aim,” he said, going to throw it back just as hard, but Charlie caught it with a smirk.

“Nice try,” Charlie said, tossing the frisbee gently to Jack, who fumbled to catch it.

…

“I don’t see the point,” Samandriel mumbled, “I thought we were busy fighting Father.”

“We are,” Kevin explained, “But...it’s important for us to relax too, especially Jack, he’s just a kid.”

Samandriel nodded slowly, looking down at his vessel’s feet in the water, tilting his head, “I find this very enjoyable, I’m surprised.”

“Yeah, free will does that to you,” Kevin laughed, reaching down and picking up a seashell, “Here...a souvenir for your first beach day.”

Samandriel took the shell, looking down at it in the palm of his hand, a small smile on his face.

…

“Yeah, I give it a week,” Gabriel smirked, looking over at Kevin and Samandriel, “Charlie, you need to catch up- OW!” he groaned when she threw the frisbee again.

“That didn’t even hurt you, don’t be a baby,” Balthazar snorted as Gabriel threw the frisbee back to the group.

“So,” Gabriel said, looking at Cas and Balthazar, “How’s it going with you two lovebirds?”

Cas glared at him, “I have explained this many times, we are not romantically involved. Platonic love is extremely valid.”

“You’ve been hanging around Adam too much,” Gabriel rolled his eyes.

Cas narrowed his eyes at him.

“Dude, you need to put on sunscreen,” Sam called to Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes, “I’ll be fine.”

Sam scoffed, “Whatever, your funeral, man.”

…

“Would you like to go for a walk?” Jack asked Dean once he tossed the frisbee to Dorothy.

Dean stared at him, “You sure that’s a good idea, kid?”

“I don’t need permission to go for a walk with a member of my family,” Jack said bluntly, “Or anything for that matter. I just need to let them know that we’re going, if you want to go.”

Dean nodded slowly, not sure what to say.

Jack walked over to where Adam and Michael were with Raphael and talked to them briefly. He turned back around and quickly walked over to Dean, “C’mon, I want to explore this place.”

Dean followed him, shock written all over his face.

“This is very cool,” Jack said casually as they walked through the woods, “I wonder if we’ll find a snake…” he trailed off, leaning down to grab some of the flowers.

Dean sighed, “Jack,” he cleared his throat, “Hey, buddy, we gotta talk eventually.”

“I am aware,” Jack sighed, standing back up and messing with the flowers he’d picked absentmindedly, refusing to make eye contact with him.

“There isn’t...a single excuse good enough for how I treated you,” Dean told him, “It was bad and it was wrong...no kid should be treated like that, ever, no matter what’s happened.”

“No matter what I’ve done?” Jack whispered, still looking down at the flowers.

“No matter what,” Dean shook his head, “I’m sorry I blamed you for stuff you couldn’t have controlled or the mistakes you made. I want to make it up to you...whatever way you’re okay with. We’re family, you’re a Winchester, and I’m sorry I didn’t treat you that way.”

Jack finally looked up at him and smiled weakly, “Thank you, Dean,” he told him, “I am happy living where I am, but...I miss you all very much, despite everything. I want us to be a family again.”

“I want that too,” Dean said before pulling him into a tight hug.

Jack hugged him back just as tight.

…

Samandriel came over to the table and sat down across from Castiel, surprising most of the people sitting there.

“Uh, Alfie, hey-” Sam started.

“I do not blame you for what happened to me,” Samandriel said firmly, “I think that most of the people here understand what it’s like to be under Heaven’s control. I would like you to please stop ignoring me now because I always wanted to get to know you and you acting like I do not exist out of guilt is very annoying.”

Silence.

Balthazar laughed in shock, “Well, free will certainly agrees with someone.”

“I...am sorry,” Cas cleared his throat, “You’re right. It was wrong of me to ignore you.”

Samandriel smiled, “Okay, thank you. I forgive you. Now, Kevin gave me this seashell and is very nice to me, it makes me feel odd. What does that mean?”

Balthazar burst out laughing.

…

Adam had his head ducked down, talking to Michael away from the rest of the group when Dean and Jack came back.

“You two are having a kid?” Dean asked bluntly as they walked over.

“Yes,” Adam crossed his arms then wrinkled his nose, “Your skin is red, you’re going to get a sunburn, just listen to Sam and put the sunscreen on.”

“You didn’t think to tell us?” Dean asked, ignoring the other comment, “We’re going to be uncles, it’s something to celebrate.”

“No,” Adam deadpanned, “It’s none of your business. What isn’t processing here?”

“We’re a family,” Jack spoke up, “I understand that you do not like Dean, but he is my family. I wanted to share my joy about having a new family member soon, so I told him.”

Adam took a deep breath and smiled at Jack, “You’re right, Jack...I’m sorry for snapping. Yes, Dean, we’re having a child.”

“Think this is a good time for that?” Dean asked.

“I doubt it’ll ever be the perfect time,” Adam said, taking Michael’s hand, “But it’s what we’re doing. Either support it or don’t, I don’t really care.”

Dean cleared his throat and nodded stiffly, “Of course we’ll support it...kid’s gotta know their uncles, right?”

“Not really,” Michael mumbled.

“Well,” Gabriel said, throwing his arms around Michael and Adam’s shoulders and squeezing between them, “Personally, I’m happy the little nephilim is out of the bag, now we can get down to the serious celebrating!”

“Can he even drink while he’s carrying?” Dean smirked.

Adam rolled his eyes, “Neither of us are carrying, asshole.”

…

“That was such a good idea,” Dorothy commented as they put stuff away in the storage room, “I haven’t felt this relaxed since we got back here,” she laughed weakly.

“Yeah, that tends to happen around Sam and Dean,” Charlie explained, “Trust me, I love them, they’re basically my family...but their lives are exhausting.”

“What are your plans for after this?” Dorothy asked suddenly.

Charlie looked at her and raised an eyebrow, “After?”

“I mean...after the whole...defeating God thing, y’know?” Dorothy asked.

“Oh,” Charlie sighed, “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought that far ahead, we’ve been so busy. I guess I might go back to hunting? I was pretty good at that.”

“I can’t think of anything I want to do,” Dorothy mumbled, “I’ve been so focused on Oz the last few years, it’s been so busy. Now it’s basically self-sufficient and I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with myself,” she admitted, “This isn’t my world, it hasn’t been for a really long time.”

Charlie put a hand on her arm, “Hey, you always have us. We’re always going to be here.”

Dorothy smiled weakly, “I appreciate that...having you...I mean...all of you,” she sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

Charlie smiled at her for a moment.

Dorothy rolled her eyes, “Okay, this is getting exhausting,” she said before leaning down and kissing her.

…

“Jack seemed like he’s doing good,” Dean said awkwardly as they sat in the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Cas sighed, his voice small and quiet, “He does. He deserves to have that kind of life, where he’s happy,” he swallowed, “Even if it isn’t with us.”

Dean sighed, “He’ll be back one day...said he wants us all to be a family again.”

“The house is a better place for him to live a life, not the bunker,” Cas cleared his throat, “And no, Dean, that’s not me taking Adam’s side, it’s me taking Jack’s.”

Dean scrubbed his face with his hands, “I wasn’t going to say that. I’m trying here, okay?”

“I know,” Cas nodded, looking down at his hands.

“Cas…” Dean trailed off.

“I am not with Balthazar,” Cas said quietly, “That is in the past. I love him, I always will, but it is a platonic love now.”

“Why are you telling me that?” Dean asked.

“I just...wanted you to know,” Cas told him, “Because everyone is thinking about their future, about what they want after all of this is over,” he stood up, “I am going to go make sure Jack made it home okay,” he said before disappearing right in front of Dean’s eyes.

Dean stared at the spot he’d disappeared from and sighed, “What the hell?”

#cutscene;#beach episode;#sorry for how late this is #im not happy with it but here it is #some things have finally been r e s o l v e d

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dotthings · 4 years

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Heavily cluttered, as many Bucklemming eps are, but worth the trip. There was a lot of goodness in 15.08 and there were two moments where I shrieked out loud.

My two out loud-shriek moments, let’s get that out of the way:

Queen Rowena. Caaaaalled it.

Dean and Cas are going back??? To???? Purgatory???? Together?????? And Bobo???? Is???? Writing the episode???????????? *SHRIEKING AND FLAILING*

Okay more orderly and sedate now. Eileen is so damn fierce. She’s a very physical fighter, she’s smart but seems to use a blunt fighting skill. She can punch HARD. I love watching that so so much. I would enjoy female characters on SPN like this regardless, but the fact that this is a hero character with a disability and it’s never a big deal is deeply refreshing and SPN did something really really right bringing her back, amen.

Protective Sam shows up and Eileen is happy to see him but literally pushes him aside so she can make the kill. She doesn’t need his protection, but she also values him as a hunting partner as the ep shows. Also they’re trying to build a relationship here. Eileen seems used to hunting solo and Sam wants to offer backup, and he got worried.

So the plan is to lock up Chuck like Chuck locked up Amara. The sweet irony of this delights me. He tried to shut away the divine feminine rather than actually stepping up to deal with his sister as, well, a person (well, a divine deity, but still, a being with feelings and thoughts and complexities). Chuck, the arrogant and narcissistic toxic masculinity God, maybe to be locked up now instead as his hubris and his lack of empathy and his petulance is exposed. What if Amara was the more competent deity all along?

There is no way Dean doesn’t know what an Achilles’ heel is. The random WTF of this is so much it’s not even angering it’s just so bizarre. LOL what even. Look I am really enjoying S15 but I hope the butterfly net tightens on stopping this kind of thing because honestly. I’ll just pretend that scene isn’t there. Luckily I enjoyed the episode overall a lot.

Team Free Will in research mode together in the bunker just really makes me happy. Cas is where he belongs.

Donatello!Chuck threatening Jody, Donna, Eileen, “pretty much everyone on your speed dial” as a deterrent to Sam and Dean is bearing out again my impressions of how Chuck views these characters. I’m still not 100% sure what he thinks of Cas who is right in the room but Chuck doesn’t seem to acknowledge him, except as some sort of right arm to Sam and Dean, as I’ve said in other posts, I think Chuck regards him as a nuisance now, and a deterrent to his miserable endings, and a pawn. Just like Donna, Jody, and Eileen, to him, they’re just pawns. They’re all people Sam and Dean care about, and Chuck will use them to keep his two favorites in line.

See what I did there?

Yeah. Chuck doesn’t care about the characters as people. Everyone except Sam and Dean are expendable and tools to be used so he can control Sam and Dean and that’s it. He’ll destroy them with a snap of his fingers and won’t care. Look at that. Familiar attitude, isn’t it. How interesting.

“If you want to stay here, stay here.” Dean’s gone back to not!listening to Cas I see. While Cas is Dean-avoidant and trying not to look at him throughout the episode. But both of them are thawing just a little.

Like when Cas heals Dean’s cut palm and the way it’s staged looks like he’s going to take Dean’s hand to do it which I don’t think is an accident. That moment was meant to be soft. Dean didn’t ask. Cas offered. And Dean didn’t jerk his hand away or say no. Then there’s the fact that Cas is going to go with Sam and Dean into Hell despite all his misgivings about Michael and this entire plan.

Team Free Will, getting all researchy together, and then getting all BAMFY together with their angel blades going into Hell.

We didn’t get any kind of nod back to Dean and Cas’s last visit together to Hell and that’s the second time they have been back to Hell (well the last time was some sort of Hell ante-room, the cage was brought up iirc) and SPN failed to nod to it, WHY AM I CONTINUALLY DENIED THIS.

“Hello, boys.” There it is. My actual shriek of delight. I hope it didn’t alarm the neighbors.

“I took it.” Yes you did, my red-headed goddess queen of the underworld. You sure did. GET IT ROWENA. Rowena won the game of thrones. Boom.

She’s a little flirty with Sam, still has a soft spot for him I think.

And then starts playing marriage counselor for Dean and Cas. “What am I picking up with you two? A wee tiff?....So fix it.” Someone called this, I’m fairly certain, that if Rowena saw Dean and Cas again during their divorce she’d size that situation up and down and comment on it. FIX IT. So say we all.

“Family sucks.” Jake Abel did such a fantastic job in this. tbh I didn’t give much thought to Adam all these years, it seemed like SPN was never going back there. I liked Jake’s performances in S5, but it just seemed like a story that was over. But Jake Abel, man. He comes back after all this time and owns the dual roles and made me care. With a performance that was alternately fearsome and vulnerable.

“That’s adorable.” Dean is SO happy about Sam and Eileen, he looked so soft, and still a bit not okay because his chosen other half is barely looking at him, but mostly Dean’s rooting for Sam to have some happiness. “If it was to work, she gets it, she gets us, she gets the life.” It’s a retreated on Sam’s speech back during “Baby” about someone...something...who understands the life. And Sam has found that with Eileen.

Meanwhile Cas is right there, with Dean, with this great big chasm still open between them but...he’s there. And all the arrows point towards him for Dean.

Dean and Cas are being magnets again. Not like in S14 where every time there is a crisis they stand very close together and are drawn together, now they’re like magnets that are trying not to feel the pull but they cannot escape each other’s pull nor do they really want to, but they can’t quite figure out how to cross the distance.

There’s more than one scene where Dean or Cas is out of focus and the other in focus, as if to emphasize how they’re both there but not in phase with each other. Not yet.

I so enjoyed the Cas and Michael stuff. Cas’s prayer to Michael, Michael’s mad on for Cas. “Oh, I didn’t come to beg.” And there’s the ruthless strategic angel.

There’s also something really...fitting about Sam and Dean and Cas all being the ones standing outside the ring of holy fire together to trap an archangel who they effectively hope to bring in from the cold, to their side, in a post S6 era of the show.

“To paraphrase a friend you had an entire oak tree shoved up your ass.” I see Cas is still quoting Dean, having Dean as a compass point or a North star. Even if he can barely look at Dean right now.

Cas telling Michael his unimportance to God and keeping the upper hand is just...so satisfying. Cas has grown so much. I keep thinking about S5 Cas and how despite how powerful Cas was back then, radiating power in ways he doesn’t quite do the same way now, Cas always seemed so...smol next to the archangels. Punching above his weight class. But now he faces down Michael and tells Michael rawly how it is with their dad Chuck. And when Michael tries to choke him, he fights past it and goes into Michael’s mind to show him everything, to help him see the truth. Cas has grown so much, this felt a lot like a little brother constantly picked on leaves home, grows, and comes back to find big, big brother isn’t quite as big and intimidating as he remembers.

Which in fact he isn’t, because Michael is capable of insight and change and feelings too. He’s not his father. Despite being the favorite. Despite clinging still to his hero-worship. But Cas worked past that with Chuck long ago.

When Eileen’s friend needs help on a hunt, and Eileen goes to Sam, Sam goes with her, no doubts. Tells Dean he’s going, as Dean recounts to Cas, and Dean seems cool with it.

Sam and Eileen seem to be growing closer and closer, and while there is something tentative about Sam, he definitely is drawn to her and cares. That tentativeness is from past hurt and loss and maybe he’s scared to enter into this kind of relationship. But they’ve got their own magnetic pull together, they fit.

Dean and Cas facing each other in that bunker kitchen, the lighting darker and colder than usual. They’re facing each other, and each shift in and out of camera focus, not looking at each other much. Cas can’t look at Dean at all in this scene, while Dean keeps sneaking glances at Cas. In other scenes, Cas does sneak looks at Dean. They are ridiculous and my heart hurts. The blocking here is them facing each other only not--they are a few feet off, so looking past each other.

Cas sitting at that table, hands folded, staring straight ahead and working very hard obviously to Not Look at Dean.

Dean’s reaction on Cas reporting the words Michael said, “I want you dead, get out.” The things Dean has said to Cas are coming back to haunt him, coming from the words of their once mortal enemy, that’s gotta sting.

Both Dean and Cas have some work to do here, but Dean definitely is already very aware his own words went too far, and has been for a while.

“God lied to me. I loved him.” Oh wow that hurt, I didn’t expect these feelings.

A thing about Adam and Michael, both feeling so abandoned by their families, and losing everyone. They offered support to each other. They worked out a time-share in Adam’s body. We’ve seen genuine vessel and angel bonds form before (in Lily Sunder). There’s also a S7 episode by Ben Edlund about the bond between a human and the demon who possessed him. Not sure how healthy Adam and Michael are, but they seem weirdly functional, and don’t despise each other and I kind of have some feelings about Adam and Michael bonding the way they did in The Cage. Perhaps Michael shielded Adam from the worst of it. It’s how Adam is coherent after being down there for so long. Maybe Adam made Michael less lonely. Did I ASK for feelings about Adam and Michael, no I did nOT and yet here we are.

Then there’s Adam. It was interesting that scene where Sam acknowledges maybe they gave up too easily. Because Sam and Dean refuse to accept it when it’s each other they lose, and have gone way over the line to get the other one back. Here Sam is admitting that it shouldn’t be just for them. That Adam was worth saving. Even though they don’t know him well, he still didn’t deserve what happened (as Dean acknowledges at the end of the ep). And Sam and Dean never mentioning him again or giving him another thought apparently, all these seasons...well, that kind of made me assume that was that. Just because someone is blood, doesn’t make you family and they barely knew Adam.

But if it’s someone who could potentially earn that? Someone basically good? And they just...forgot about him and left him to his torment in Hell? So this did need addressing. There’s not much time to develop a relationship with Adam and TFW this late in the game but there was a start here.

Dean likewise offers his apology to Adam at the end. “You’re a good man. You didn’t deserve that.”

Right when I was thinking, so many of them don’t get what they deserve, they just keep getting Hell heaped on their heads, Adam says “Since when do we get what we deserve.”

There’s a subtle thing there where Adam looks at Cas, Cas very pointedly still tries to be not looking at Dean, and after Adam leaves Dean turns to Cas looking so...sorrowful for a moment. I keep saying, Dean and Cas deserve each other, and right now they can’t figure how to have each other.

But Michael left them a strange gift. The Leviathan flower, to seal away Chuck, but the gift has a double meaning (unintentionally on Michael’s part). It’s not just the tool to shut away the villain, Michael opens a door to Purgatory and boom just like that, opens up a whole doorway on Dean and Cas’s story because of the emotional significance of Purgatory for them. What they had there. What happened there. The way that place broke loose some of their feelings. I’m not sure what’s going to happen now, if they both go, as the promo glimpses seem to suggest, does one return and the other gets trapped? Is Dean’s prayer to Cas going to be inside Purgatory, is Cas also still in Purgatory and they get separated? Is being thrown together back into that environment going to help them heal? Or will they be torn apart again but that provides another route to reconciliation?

#spn #supernatural #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #Castiel #team free will #rowena macleod #Adam Milligan #Eileen Leahy #Saileen #Destiel #meta #Michael

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malachi-walker · 4 years

Text

Some Really Heavy Thoughts on the Relationship Between Scorpia and Catra

Fair warning, guys: I'm gonna get into some deeply personal stuff involving abuse recovery and past mistakes here. I will not be making excuses for Catra or her treatment of Scorpia, but well... Let's just say there's a reason why their relationship has always me wince. Because it touches on some stuff that is likely relevant to a lot of ex-abuse victims.

This entire meta stems from an epiphany I had while discussing with @johannas-motivational-insults how I have a really hard time writing Scorpia, and me trying to pinpoint what exactly makes me so uncomfortable working with her or looking at her relationship with Catra in detail.

Let me back up a bit. We all love Scorpia. She's a big cuddly sweetheart without a mean bone in her body. She's fantastic, a bright point in the overall suckage that is the Horde, and she gives GREAT hugs. So why does their relationship bother me so much?

Well... It's because I've been there once before in my own life. And it's one of my deepest regrets, so seeing that play out on screen and instinctively knowing where this is going fucking sucks.

Personal stuff under the cut.

We've already covered Scorpia being a good kid. That said, I feel like a lot of people just flanderize her into being this perfect wonderful friend who wholly accepts Catra (and conversely either woobify Catra or make her a horrible monster who doesn't appreciate a good thing) but... the truth is a lot more nuanced than that.

Scorpia doesn't wholly accept Catra because in order to truly accept someone you have to see them for who they really are, warts and all, and Scorpia doesn't. She idealizes Catra and either ignores or downplays her very real flaws and problems, and tries to excuse any actions she commits that don't live up to that constructed image, which is of course what she confronts in s4 (and I’m proud of her for that.) It's not done with any ill intent, but it's still not a good thing in any relationship; romantic, platonic, familial, any kind.

Here's where things get real personal. Also, I wanna specify that I am not forcing myself to talk about this, even though it still hurts in a lot of ways. Though I am probably gonna bring this up with my therapist when I next see her.

I've mentioned before in previous meta that I am an ex-child abuse victim who followed a very similar trajectory to Catra once I got out of that situation. I was angry, I was hurt, and I was ADAMANT that nobody get close to me again and fully prepared to lash out as much as I needed in order to make that happen. Occasionally people would slip through my guard anyway, but on the whole I was very successful at that goal and torpedoed a lot of bridges back in those days.

And as much as it kills me to admit it... I had my own Scorpia too.

Her name was Amy, and I met her in my freshman year of high school after I ended up in a private school for the “gifted and talented” (which ended up being its own mistake, but that's a story for another day.)

To put this entire situation into perspective: at the time I was struggling to process and cope with my abuse, I had just been misdiagnosed with major depression after an entire year of contemplating suicide, and I had been put on a ridiculously high dosage of the antidepressant Wellbutrin--literally the highest dosage they could legally give an adolescent without the risk of seizures--which cranked my rage up to a constant underlying simmer and also gave me horrific fucking nightmares, to the point that for about a year and a half I was consistently only getting two hours of sleep because I was waking up screaming nearly every night. This is not me making excuses for being such a dick, but I do try to keep in mind that younger me was dealing with an absolute shitshow when passing judgment on myself. I was trying to survive a situation that absolutely no one was equipped to handle at all of 14 years old.

And then here comes Amy.

Amy was one of those people who was relentlessly optimistic to an almost suspicious degree (more on that later.) The kind of person who will reply to any statement of "I'm having a bad [x]" with generic look-on-the-bright-side platitudes and a big smile without actually addressing anything you said. She was also one of those people who was aggressively Christian, not in a mean way, but in an "it was her answer for literally everything" way, which given that I was struggling with my own faith at the time was practically a recipe for disaster.

But for whatever reason, this girl latched onto me, no matter how much I tried to get her to do otherwise.

I wanna note that I wasn't wholly devoid of friends at the time; my best friend, Michael (who is still my best friend/bro to this day) had also gotten into the school along with me, but the rest of our friend group hadn't and those relationships drifted apart in the ensuing years, which only served to compound the underlying issues. And I will always be thankful that the guy was able to roll with the punches and stick by me even through my absolute worst, but it was also pretty irritating having to switch between my bro who understands me even if he didn’t always agree to my much tenser interactions with Amy. So back to her.

Basically, this girl just kinda inserts herself into my life, refuses to take a hint or back off, and any time I try to talk about my issues or get her to understand a little and make an actual connection, I'm met with the overwhelming feeling of "You're not really seeing me. You're not listening." So I responded by being a fucking bitch. I would ignore her, make fun of her, treat her like a third wheel, etc. In hindsight, it was a dick move, but at the time it made sense to me. I genuinely felt like it was her fault for never listening to me in the first place, so I justified it by telling myself I was just paying her back in kind.

I lost touch with Amy after I was kicked out of school at the tail end of freshman year due to a Wellbutrin-induced rage episode (nobody got hurt, but my attitude at the time was so consistently extreme that the school administration literally had an inch thick dossier on my behavior and what the other kids thought of me, so that incident was just what they needed to justify kicking me out.) Afterwards, my parents made the decision to relocate to another town since my expulsion meant I would be banned from going back into school for a full year unless we changed systems--and even then I was required to go into a continuation school to prove I had been rehabilitated, but I digress. Point is that I was uprooted from that environment and I didn't bother keeping in touch.

I actually found out years later from a friend who went to that same high school--though we didn't actually become friends until after my expulsion--that the reason why Amy was the way she was is that in the year prior to meeting me, her mother had committed suicide and she had been the one to discover her body. So in hindsight, her entire deal made sense: she was trying to survive in the only way she knew how and cope with a situation no one should ever have to, same as me.

But that didn't mean we were able to connect. The great tragedy of that situation, and the thing I regret the most about it, is that we were just two horribly damaged kids that were utterly incapable of actually seeing each other as we were at the time. And it ultimately wasn't anybody's fault, which ironically makes it even harder to accept.

I regret the way I treated her. I wish I could have made her life a little better, and I still hope and pray she got the help she needed elsewhere.

That's what makes Scorptra so incredibly tragic to me as well. Scorpia is a good-hearted person who does genuinely care for Catra, but she also willfully blinds herself to the things Catra is dealing with and her relentless optimism often just ends up rubbing salt in the wounds. Catra is wrong to treat Scorpia so badly, but I also fully understand those feelings of resentment and anger you develop towards someone when they consistently refuse to see you as you are, because I've been there. And that's also why I've always had a hard time with Scorptra romantically (though if you ship it, good for you! I honestly wish I could), because those issues have always been present in their relationship and made it unsustainable from the very beginning.

Something was always destined to break between them. And that's what makes it so damn hard for me to write Scorpia as a character, because in many ways she reminds me of one of the things I regret the most in my life: how I treated someone else who had the best intentions horribly when I was at my absolute worst. These days I try to be kind to my past self as part of the healing process, but when I think of my actions in that year it is really fucking hard. I don't like to think about it, even though I know I feel like I need to (which is also why this meta exists.)

Neither Scorpia or Catra were at fault for the fact that they couldn't see each other properly: it was just a really bad case of wrong place, wrong time. And that's what makes it hurt.

Also, if you made it this far, I'm sorry this was so depressing. Please have a happy cat and scorpion to hopefully feel a little better. Also huge shoutout to @yesbpdcatra for encouraging me to get this out there. You're the best, fam.

#hoo boy #tw: child abuse #mention of suicide #the sometimes ugly messiness of the recovery process #hard personal truths #scorptra #spop meta #my meta

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ziracona · 4 years

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I reread your bit about rin in the last chapter and oh my god im crying. You did my girl justice. I'm so proud of her and i'm glad she had fun. I love the thought that she's helping him in little ways. ;') and oh my god. i love the myers siblings. Do you mind if I ask for hcs? because oooohhhmygod. need more

Awww thank you so much! I really liked the Adam-Rin segment too. I wanted to talk about Rin, but being an Onryo made it so I just couldn’t feasibly in the bulk of the story. Really glad I still got to give her her moment in the sun. : ) Adam’s such a great dude too, and I’m so happy he found meaning the way he did and keeps up such an active and deep relationship with someone who’s passed on. It’s not an easy thing to do, but I think it’s kind, and meaningful. And sure! I’m not sure if you mean Laurie and Mikey or Judith too since I got a few Judith asks yesterday, but ima assume this is ILM related and you’re looking for post-fic Laurie & Michael (sorry if that’s not the intended ask TuT). I did more but this is already a lot so I didn’t post them all haha. Here you go!

Laurie would be very unlikely to make the first move in a romantic relationship. She’s so used to prioritising survival, even when she’s okay again her brain is always, “keep homeostasis” as her directive, and adding a relationship does not fall under that listing. That said, she definitely still develops feelings, and would want things to happen. But I think it would be slow. I think with Laurie, she’d be going to lunches and having long talks and drinks and staying up and falling asleep on the couch together, in and out like each others’ presence belongs in their respective homes, come to each other for support and with hard days and for life advice, go to the theatre together and let them buy her a drink like they always do without being asked, brought back a nice gift from a trip, she waits up for them to get home to greet them, for like 1-3 years solid before one day they just take her hand and kind of smile and she realises she’s been in a relationship for two years and they just never said it, and maybe they won’t now, maybe not for another two years, but they know it, and she’s so happy.

Michael never cuts his hair short, but does not mind Laurie making him let her give him ponytails when they’re working on something, because it does get in his face.

Laurie softballs Michael for a while, since, well, she’s trying to help him reintegrate into society as a human being after having had a childhood that was basically just a 15 year stretch of psychological trauma, and being kind and supportive is a must. But after a few years, she’s gotten much more comfortable and sibling-ish in her interactions. She’ll definitely still be serious and supportive if anything happens and he needs it, but she’ll also give him shit for eating her food or not getting up off the bed she’s trying to make. He enjoys annoying her and does it for fun. Will hold eye contact and eat the cupcake she was saving just to watch her flip, like a cat batting an orange off a counter (or, you know, a sibling who’s feeling /that/ vibe rn.)

Laurie is 99% of Michael’s impulse control. If he and Quentin do something together without her, it /will/ be a disaster, because where Laurie inflicts neutral levels of chaos on the group w her lawful, Michael will almost instantaneously get Quentin to swap from lawful to chaos if she’s not there. They will both be fine, but there /will/ be something on fire when she gets back.

Laurie, walking into the house and seeing then throwing objects into a burning wastebasket in the living room: I don’t like what I’m seeing. Bring me up to speed.

Quentin: So, we maybe have illegally destroyed a car—but it’s okay! We had a good reason! Plus, we destroyed the evidence. Let me explain. So, this guy-

Laurie: :/

Michael: *gives her a ‘what’s your problem?’ gesture*

Michael and Laurie physically fight for nostalgia’s sake sometimes (for fun-get exasperated and performatively MMA. They would not actually injure each other).

One time, Laurie and Michael were walking home together from a movie and a guy drove by and whistled at Laurie and said something vulgar, and Michael stepped into the road and smashed the front of his car with his foot. It was beautiful. They did have to flee the scene but Laurie was /gleeful/. The dude in the car saw his gd life flash before his eyes and rethought some life choices.

It is a long time before Michael is willing to take any kind of meds for his psychosis (very understandably), but when Quentin eventually graduates Med school, six or so years later (bless u Jake for forging him some credits), he is willing to try a few given by him. It is not a good or easy couple of months, but he does it.

Michael gets along surprisingly well with the survivors. Most of them are pretty intimidated, but he’s genuinely chill, and they’ve been through weirder shit so 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s like “Welp. This might as well happen.” and accept him in. Meg is a big thot. She’s into Susie and would never cheat and Susie knows this, but Meg will still flirt like crazy with Michael bc it’s her personality, and Michael, who’s never had this ever happen, is /beyond/ confused. Every time she says something stupid like, “Damn you’re tall. If I wasn’t a married woman, I’d climb you like a jungle gym.” He gives her the exact look Sam gives Gollum when he’s dissing potatoes in lotr.

Since she knew his and his family’s whole names and his wife’s face, Laurie tracks down Sujan’s family and tells them everything she can about what happened and how good he was, and what a difference the first person in the realm who was kind to her made.

Michael really enjoys traveling. He’s been cooped up his whole life. Spent 15 years in one little white room, and then 40 in reproductions of Haddonfield in the realm. Really, except for his solo journey from Wisconsin to home, he’s never left the state of Illinois. He goes with the survivor squad on their group trips, once he’s comfortable enough, and is consistently amazed. He’s not a very visibly emotive person, and can’t physically be bc of his psychosis symptoms, but his eyes will get big seeing the northern lights from a platform, and he’ll grab Laurie or Quentin’s wrist & point to make sure they’re seeing it too, and Laurie has never been so happy. After his first trip, he very much looks forward to the annual event.

Dr. Loomis is the only thing Michael as an adult has ever feared. (Obviously all humans feel temporary fear, like if a car comes at you or someone with a gun. But past instantaneous shock-fear, I don’t think Michael has ever been afraid of anyone else). This is based off of canon, because to me Michael reads as scared of him, especially in Halloween 2. He pauses and then retreats from Loomis in the first film, and when he sees Loomis running down streets looking for him in 2, he hides (I actually really love the Michael pov in Halloween 2 in the open. It was very humanising). Then, at the end of 2, when he’s blind and Laurie and Loomis have filled the room with ether, and Loomis tells him it’s over, he stops trying to find and kill Loomis and freezes. I genuinely think because he was scared of Loomis and has been for years (after that treatment constantly in isolation as a child, how could he not be?) and has known since he was 6 Loomis wants to kill him, so when he basically says “I’m about to kill you,” he believes him and it scares him. It’s the axe that’s been waiting to drop since he was a kid.

Laurie goes to cons with Nea, Quentin, & Min occasionally, and has dressed up as all three OG Star Wars protagonists like the lovely huge nerd she is. Has also made Michael sit down and watch all the movies w her.

Michael and Laurie go visit Judith a lot. They’ll pack a picnic lunch and talk with her and about her at her grave. It was very hard the first time they went there, especially for Michael, but after a while, it helps. It’s a way to deal with what was done in the past that makes it seem surmountable. It also helps to deal with the loss of someone they both cared for. When they go, Laurie always gets Michael to tell her something about her older sister she hast heard yet. David tracks down an old high school album from 1963, and is able to get three pictures of Judith colorised and they’re able to have a nice full-color photo of her to hang up in the house.

#long post #ask #anonymous #in living memory (fic)#in living memory #ilm spoilers #spoilers #laurie strode #michael myers #dead by daylight

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andrea-lyn · 4 years

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'The worst part was when my mother asked me why we didn’t see each other anymore, casually, with a flippant sort of curiosity.' Maria and Alex friendship RNM during/after the love triangle

10 degree angle

For ten years, Alex didn’t speak to any of his friends while he fought someone else’s war.

He makes a lot of excuses for it. He’s busy. He’s not in the right emotional space for it. It would be unfair when so much is classified and he can’t share that with them. The truth is that he’s making excuses because Alex doesn’t really like the person he’s become and he wants to keep Roswell separate from that – or maybe just his friends. Definitely Michael.

When things go to hell the day Max dies, Alex finds himself withdrawing again.

He speaks to Kyle, he and Michael and Isobel talk about alien plans and strategies, but what hurts the most and feels the strangest is that even though he’s back in town, he’s stopped talking to Liz and Maria, because he’s not sure he can.

Why he can work with Michael and not talk to Maria, he’s not sure, but he thinks that it has to do with the fact that he and Michael have been through so much and maybe Alex feels like he deserves a little suffering, after what his family has done to Michael’s. He can cope with Michael hurting him with spiteful words and bitter looks, because he knows it’s better than Michael deciding to exit Alex’s life for good.

He’s just not as sure what he’s done to Maria to earn that kind of pain.

Life is full of suffering, though, a lesson that Jesse Manes had beat into Alex’s head.

They don’t speak, at all.

Days turn into weeks, and Alex only drinks at the cabin – six-packs that he grabs from the liquor store or Kyle picks up for them – and then weeks become awkward months.

Somewhere in the middle of that icy silent treatment, Liz folds. She shows up at Alex’s cabin with a plate covered in tinfoil, the smell of churro pancakes wafting through the door even as he stands there and debates sending her away.

“Please, Alex,” Liz insists. “I need to apologize and I have news.”

His stomach rumbles, betraying how hungry he is. It’s the only reason he folds in the end, opening the door to Liz and nodding for the kitchen. “Forks are in the first drawer on the right,” he says quietly, still not sure why she’s here because she’d made it clear that she wanted Michael to move on to something new.

That someone isn’t him.

Still, she says she’s here to apologize, so Alex will take it. “So? What did you want to say?”

“That I’m sorry I took a side and thought that I knew the whole story. I’m sorry I put my nose where it didn’t belong, and I’m sorry I hurt two of my best friends in the process.”

Alex frowns at her, even as he digs into the pancakes. “How the hell did you hurt Maria?”

Liz shakes her head, letting out a rough sounding exhalation. “I really thought Michael and her would be good. I thought he’d let her in, that whatever kept you two apart meant that she and him could have something, but then he lied to her. He lied to her about his hand and about his past. I’m pretty sure I haven’t gone a week without at least one frantic text or call from Maria asking what’s so wrong with her.”

Liz stares at the pancakes miserably.

“She went from upset that she was feeling the way she was to completely torn apart thinking that she was losing her mind, like her mother.”

“I don’t think you should be telling me this, Liz,” Alex warns.

She might be one of his best friends, but she does this. She charges in headfirst and she doesn’t stop to think about the consequences. With a pang, Alex thinks about how Max had a habit of doing the same. Maybe they would’ve been perfectly suited to one another after all.

“I know. Shit, I know,” Liz admits. “I’m here to apologize, I’m here to say I’m sorry, and I am here to beg. Please go talk to Maria? Please?”

Alex wants to know why Liz isn’t asking the opposite.

“Why can’t Maria come here?”

“Because I sort of thought that at least if you go to her, the liquor would help a little more than being isolated in the middle of nowhere,” Liz says bluntly. “You know that she and Michael are done. That’s the news,” she says, as if everyone doesn’t already know that. It hadn’t been a quiet flame-out, even if Alex hadn’t known what to make of it. “And I think you’re both miserable over a self-destructing alien, and we need all the friends we can get.”

Alex could say that he’s got all the friends he needs, but he knows it’s not true.

“I’ll think about it,” he tells Liz, which isn’t a promise.

She nods like it is, though, and leaves him alone.

He knows he should feel bad about the fact that he doesn’t go to the Pony to talk to Maria, but he needs time to process all of this. He’d been hurt, genuinely hurt, and while he knows that other people have to live their life, it doesn’t mean that he’s ready to open the door and go right back to square one.

He tells himself that it won’t be like this forever.

Unfortunately, he’s deliberately ignoring the part where unless someone does something about the situation, then it very well could be.

30 degree angle

Kyle is, weirdly, the one who convinces him to go back to the Wild Pony.

“Kyle, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Alex, come on,” Kyle protests. “You are literally avoiding the Pony just so you don’t talk to her and I can’t drink in the weird bunker much longer.” He shakes his head. “It’s sad. It makes me feel like we’re turning into our fathers. It’s been months and Guerin is fucking half the town, but neither of you. I know that’s shitty to hear, but what’s done is done. Okay? Can we please go back to the Pony.”

He could say no, but Kyle’s the one steady friend he’s got right now. He’s pretty sure that if he pissed him off and lost him, then he wouldn’t have anyone, which even he can acknowledge wouldn’t be a good look for him.

“Fine,” he accepts. “When it’s awkward, just remember that you’re the one who asked for this.”

Kyle ignores his plight, clapping him on the back as he forces them to charge headfirst into a place Alex has been avoiding for weeks. It hasn’t changed, but he’s not surprised. It hadn’t changed in years, why would a few weeks have managed to change the Pony. Once Kyle’s inside, he heads off to the bathroom in a completely unsubtle way the second Maria finishes up with her patrons and locks eyes with Alex.

Kyle really would make the worst criminal, wouldn’t he?

“Alex,” Maria greets him, sounding nervous. “Hi. Kyle texted, said you were coming.”

“Did he?”

“I might have tried to lean on him to get you here,” she admits. “I wanted to talk to you and you ignored Liz, which I didn’t think was possible.”

Alex turns his beer, picking at the label as he tries to avoid looking at her. It’s awkward, if only because he knows that they need to talk, but he doesn’t really want to. Maybe they can make this work, though, if he sets down a few firm ground rules.

“Fine,” he allows, “on one condition.”

Maria eyes him warily, with that look on her face like she’s trying to read him. “Okay?”

“We don’t talk about Guerin,” Alex says flatly. “Not while I’m here.”

Maria opens her mouth, like she wants to protest, and Alex gets it. There’s a lot between them that’s gone unsaid that has to do with Michael, but he can’t deal with it. It doesn’t matter that Alex and Maria both aren’t dating Michael, he’s not ready to sit here and rehash a history that’s still too painful to relive. Alex is putting all his energy into not walking away. He really doesn’t think he can muster up the energy to deal with reliving the pain of Michael walking away from him and turning the tables – only, it’s not into the stars, as Alex had been expecting, but into someone else’s arms.

It doesn’t matter that he and Michael are friends. It doesn’t matter that Michael and Maria aren’t sleeping together.

He’s just not ready.

Maria doesn’t look fully convinced, but she seems to understand that Alex isn’t offering a choice. It’s either they avoid the topic or they don’t talk at all.

“Fine,” she relents, after a long pause. “Did you see what that asshole Wyatt did? Using Hank as an excuse to go after Isobel because he thinks she had something to do with it is low…”

Well, Alex never did say that they couldn’t talk about Michael’s family, so he’s stepped right into that one. Still, Maria’s got all kinds of gossip that Alex never would’ve had otherwise, because he’s been self-isolating himself out at the cabin.

“I hadn’t heard,” he says, and slides in closer to listen to the rest of this juicy tale.

At some point, Kyle rejoins him like he’s figured out it’s safe to re-enter the fray. Alex glares at him because it’s clear that he’s been avoiding them until he’d decided that things are safe, but he’s also quietly relieved that Kyle had been so adamant that they come here tonight. He knows that there’s a long way to go before they can bridge the gap, but this feels like a good start.

“What are we talking about?” Kyle asks, pressing both hands on the bar like he’s ready to jump in.

“Rosa’s fashion sense,” Maria shares, because they’ve moved on to one of their old hobbies – critiquing other people’s clothing. “She’s stuck a decade back and none of us have the heart to tell her because…”

Well, how do you tell the dead girl that maybe she needs to find a pair of pants that aren’t ripped?

Also, Alex thinks that’d be the pot calling the kettle black, given his former tastes.

“Yeah, not it,” Kyle scoffs. “She pre-hates me for being the half-brother she never wanted. You really think I’m about to tell her that her flannels need to be retired?”

They spend the next few hours talking about their fashion tastes, for better or worse, and Michael’s name doesn’t come up once. It only occurs to Alex when Kyle drops him off later that Michael hadn’t come up at all and it hadn’t felt strange or awkward to avoid talking about him. Why should it? Michael came into their lives like a hurricane long after Maria and Alex had forged their tight-knit friendship.

To get it back, they’re going to have to figure out how to do it while he’s there, but for now Alex will focus on the foundation and one day, they’ll see if their new friendship can withstand that hurricane.

right angle – 90 degrees

Just as Alex feels like he and Maria have managed a détente, the universe barges in as if trying to point out that what they’re doing isn’t enough.

“Alex.”

He’s in the middle of Liz’s lab, readjusting his prosthetic after a quick visit to talk about aliens, having taken off the leg to give himself a quick massage while Liz went to grab coffee. He turns to see Maria in the doorway, and no Liz in sight.

He has to wonder if Liz put her up to this, but Maria’s got her coat over her shoulder and a visitor’s badge on, which means that she’s probably not here for a casual visit. It’s not the first time the both of them have been in the same space, but it feels strange to run into her here. It’s not like he can run. For one, his leg’s not on and for another, she’s blocking the door.

“Is everything okay?” he asks warily, glad she’s not in a hospital gown, but what other reason could she be here?

Maria averts her eyes. “Mom’s here for some tests.”

Guilt hits Alex quickly, thinking about how his avoiding Maria and talking to her because of how much it hurts means that he’s also taken to avoiding Mimi, which makes him feel like a complete ass. He opens his mouth to say as much, apologize for not being there, when suddenly, the piercing sound of the fire alarm goes off.

“What’s going…?”

Maria doesn’t even finish her question before the sound of the door bolting shut echoes in the room. Alex’s eyes widen in alarm, because he has a bad feeling. He gestures for the door as he efficiently works to get the prosthetic back on. “Maria, check the door,” he says.

As he’s buckling himself back in, Maria’s tugging on it, pounding her fists against heavy glass. “Hey!” she shouts. Can anyone hear me? There are people in here!” She keeps working on it, but it’s clear that they’re not the only ones in this situation and being in the lab, they’re far from the most critical case.

Alex stares at the door and can’t believe what he’s about to say.

“I guess we’re going to have to wait it out.”

The doors still haven’t unlocked two hours later, but Maria and Alex have migrated to sit on the floor, side by side. “You know what the worst part of today has been?” she says quietly. “On the drive here, Mom asked me why we didn’t see one another as much anymore. It’s like she knew, like she could feel it, and I hate the idea that the universe is so out of balance that my Mom’s third eye picked up on it.”

Alex gets it, he does, but the problem is that he also doesn’t think that he’s ready to forgive and forget.

“I think part of the reason I’m so mad at you is because you did everything right,” Alex admits, feeling a clicking in his throat as he swallows. “You stayed. You didn’t walk away from him. When he held you after the incident at the UFO Emporium, you didn’t tell him to go and you didn’t run either. When he kissed you, you stayed to talk. And I’m mad at you because you were able to do that and I couldn’t, not with my fear of Jesse in my head,” he gets out, gritting his teeth to get the words out. “And I’m so mad that you could, and I know it’s Michael who showed up, but I was mad at you.”

Maria stays silent, like she knows that Alex needs to get it out.

It’s not even about how much he loves Michael, though he does. He hasn’t ever stopped, and he’d stood in an exploding building, willing to die for Michael. No, instead, he’s pissed off at Maria for being the kind of person that Michael’s been looking for.

Talk about not being fair, but it’s not like Alex understands it.

“Well, then, I’m on the train of being pissed off, because we broke up within weeks because he wouldn’t tell me the truth and I was mad at him. I’m mad at him for making me open up to the idea of him, of making me want him and even love him, but then for him to keep secrets from me that he still won’t tell me, but he’ll clearly tell everyone else! I’m so pissed at Michael Guerin for coming into our lives like a tornado and not even being able to be mad at him because he destroyed himself worse than he took me out.”

Alex lets out a ragged and pained sounding scoff. “Well, then the trifecta’s complete, because I am one hundred percent sure that he’s pissed at me and has been for a decade,” he gets out, and wishes it didn’t hurt so much, but it does.

For all that Michael looking away reminds him of the last ten years, feeling that derision and hate from Michael about how Alex walked away and how things between them don’t work is like someone’s carved a hole in his chest that he doesn’t know how to fill.

Maria threads her arm in with Alex and curls in against his shoulder. “Michael doesn’t hate you.”

“You haven’t seen him, Maria,” Alex says quietly. “He’s pissed at me because I keep walking away. I didn’t know what else to do, but he’s pissed and…” And maybe Alex can’t blame him, because look how crushed he got when Michael did the same to him only the once.

“If he hates anything, it’s how much he loves you. Even when we were together, there would be these small moments when we’d be lying together in bed and I’d feel this aura radiating from him.” She squints, like she’s trying to put a name to it. “And it took me a few days to realize that it was the same hope that came from you. It was a longing and seeing as I was right there with him, I don’t think that it was me he was longing for.”

Alex feels the ache deep in his chest, because it’s all well and good to hear that from her, but it doesn’t matter.

“He’s fucking someone inappropriate every week,” Alex bites out. “I know that I kept walking away and I know I told him I wanted to be friends, but it hurts, Maria. Thinking about you with him, it hurts, because it makes me feel like I’ve never been enough and I missed my chance…”

He rubs at his eyes, hating that he feels so torn up about this.

“I’ve loved him since I was seventeen,” he says quietly. “I let my fear be louder than that love, and now I’m paying for it. I lost my friend, I lost him, and now I don’t know if I’m going to get either of you back.”

“If you’re done being mad at me,” Maria says quietly, pressing her cheek to Alex’s shoulder as she holds him in, like she’s scared he’ll run, “I could use my friend back.”

Alex turns into the warmth of her body. She smells of her intoxicating perfume and the sweet smell of liquor that means she’s been doing inventory. She smells like Maria and Alex burrows in for a one-armed hug, not sure he’s ready to keep being mad at Maria, especially when he’d forgiven Michael a while ago.

“Maybe we just have to figure out how to talk to each other,” Alex says quietly. “I didn’t exactly write much when I was in Iraq.”

Maria’s quiet for a minute, then adds, “Neither did I.”

Maybe Liz hadn’t been the only bad friend of the three of them. Maybe they all need lessons on how to open up, be vulnerable, be open.

The doors unbolt in the middle of their awkward seated hug, and within seconds Liz is bursting into the room. “Alex! I’m so sorry, it’s the new security feature after the last incident and…” she trails off when she sees Maria and Alex hugging on the floor. She blinks, clearly stunned that it’s happening, but there’s also relief in her eyes. “Can I get in on that?”

Maria nods, her eyes blurry with tears, and waves at Liz eagerly. “Get down here!”

They’re free to wander the hospital, but Alex doesn’t want to move when he’s finally feeling like he’s grounded and in the exact right spot for the first time in so long.

120 degree angle

It’s been ten months since Alex and Maria stopped talking.

It’s been eight months since they started again.

Both those numbers seem ridiculously small, given what happened last night. It feels like those incidents should have been years ago, but they’re not. Alex is nervous as hell, but he’s here at the Pony, sitting at the bar and waiting for Maria to finish serving a few customers because there’s something he needs to talk about with her.

“Why are you so nervous?” she asks, squinting at him. “No psychic read needed, I think I felt your leg shaking from down the other end of the bar.”

“Last night, I went on a date,” Alex shares, anxiously.

“Which one was it?” Maria asks eagerly, leaning in with wide eyes. “That hottie from the base? Forest? Your tinder date from Santa Fe?”

Alex hasn’t been chaste for the last half a year, exploring who he is now that his father is in a medically induced coma and can’t interfere in his life again. It’s been incredible to learn about what he likes, but last night had reminded him that above all else, he loves one thing the most.

“It was Guerin,” Alex says. “Michael.”

He’s been dreading telling her. He’s been worried and barely slept because he’s been so excited to come rave about this, but he’s also been picturing every scenario in his mind. He watches her for every facial tic and reaction, but there isn’t a hint of jealousy on her face and there’s no anger. It’s been ten months since they almost let themselves splinter and Maria understands how much Alex loves Michael.

He’s here, he’s staying, and finally, he’s decided to fight for Michael.

“Please tell me he took you somewhere better than that trailer,” she says with a disgruntled snort. “You made sure he used a condom, right?”

“Aliens,” Alex reminds her. “He can’t get diseases, even if he tried his best to act like a sexual lint roller and press himself up against as many dirty surfaces as he could find. Metaphorically,” he deadpans. He knows he doesn’t sound very excited, but he’s been grinning since he’d admitted to going out with Michael, and not just that, but the way his name had sounded out loud. “We went out for a nice dinner at Isobel’s. She cooked pasta and Michael grilled, and we had a really nice time,” he admits.

Maria gives him a curious look, like there’s something about Alex she’s not getting.

“Am I still hopeful?”

“No,” she says, shaking her head, and smiles fondly at him. “You’re past hope. This time, you know.”

“You’re not mad?” is his next question, which is the one that he’s really worried about. They barely survived Michael barrelling in between them the first time. What happens if this is all Maria putting on a front and he loses her? He doesn’t want to admit it, but if it came down to Michael or Maria, it’d be a really rough call, as things stand these days.

“Tell me it’s not a fling,” she says.

“It’s not,” Alex insists instantly. “It’s really not. I love him.”

“That’s why I’m okay,” Maria admits, even if her smile isn’t as wide as it could be. “It hurts because I want something like that and I thought that maybe I could get it with Guerin, but I can’t steal other people’s happy endings to make my own.” She smacks her rag on the counter, a determined look on her face. “Besides, I deserve a man who’s willing to tell me the truth.”

“You definitely do,” Alex agrees. “We’ll stay away from here for a while, though, just until things calm down.”

The last thing he wants to do is mount Michael in the middle of the Wild Pony, because that feels a little like cruelly rubbing Maria’s face in it. From the look of gratitude on her face, Alex knows it’s the right decision.

“I’m glad you two are making it work,” she promises, reaching over to squeeze Alex’s hand, closing her eyes, which means she’s reading him. This time, Alex lets it happen, because maybe there’s something good hanging around the corner. “I know I don’t have to tell you this, but it looks good, Alex,” she promises, squeezing his hand a little tighter. “You’re happy. And you’re surrounded by friends.”

It’s pretty much all he could ever hope for, even if he’s not sure how he managed to deserve it.

“Thank you,” he says, and means it with all his heart. “Thanks for letting me have this happiness.”

“You’re one of my best friends,” Maria promises. “We’re not forgetting that, not anymore, not either of us.”

180 degree angle – straight angle

“Are you ready for this?”

Alex stares at himself in the mirror, glancing over his shoulder to where Maria’s poking her head in the door of her bedroom. She’d given it up to him for the day, because the cabin is too far for them, but it makes him feel like he’s intruding on her space. Still, given her responsibilities, Alex is also fairly sure that giving up her bedroom and her mirror is the least she can do.

“How’s my tie look?”

Maria wanders closer, adjusting the flare of her dress as she fidgets with it, getting the orchid bowtie back in shape. “Would I be a good maid of honor if I let you go out there without looking your best?” she quips, and gets it straightened up. “You look good.”

“Yeah?” Alex is nervous as fuck, because it’s been years and he knows that he and Michael have created a strong foundation, but sometimes Maria and Michael will have one of their serious talks and Alex will wonder if today’s the day Michael realizes he’s made a mistake.

Maria constantly reminds him that they’re only friends, but that little voice in Alex’s head doesn’t want to go away.

“You should see him,” Maria shares, with the secretive wink that only another person who’s slept with Michael can truly give. Of all their friends, no one else will ever appreciate Michael in that way, because Maria is the only one who knows about all the devious tricks that Michael can do. “I think he managed to convince Isobel to get him a pair of pants that fits just a little too small.”

It’s exactly the relief Alex needs and he catches himself laughing at the image he’s creating in his mind.

“Or he washed them and shrunk them and Isobel’s only noticing now,” he jokes, trying to calm himself down. It’s not that he’s worried about making a mistake, but he’s still in disbelief that today is happening. After all, with all the speed bumps they’ve gone through, the suspension of their relationship ought to be wrecked.

Instead, here they are, getting married.

“How are you doing?” Alex asks.

Maria squints at him like he’s lost his mind. “You’re the groom. I’m not the one who should be answering that question today.”

“Yeah, I’m the groom and I get what I want. What I want to know is how you’re holding up,” Alex keeps stubbornly charging down that road. “I know how hard weddings can be, never mind when one of the grooms is your ex.”

“It’s been years and Michael and I went on about two dates,” Maria says, rubbing Alex’s shoulders as she gets him positioned in front of the full-length mirror. “I’ve seen his vows and yours. I know that the words you two use to describe each other would’ve never been him and me, and that’s okay. I’ve learned to be okay with that. I’m gonna go find my own cosmic, epic, connected romance and then I’ll make you suffer through it.”

She leans in to kiss him on the cheek.

Instead of ducking away, though, she lingers. “And,” Maria promises, wrapping her arms around his back in a tight hug, “just to make things fair, you can make out with him a few times so our friendship playing field is evened out.”

Alex lets out a soft laugh. “Michael might get kind of mad about that, but we’ll see,” he playfully says.

Maria finally releases him to duck away, heading out the door.

“Don’t be late! The rest of your life is waiting for you at that altar,” Maria calls over her shoulder, “and he looks hot in the kind of way you definitely wanna tell your Mama about!”

And soon, Alex is going to take that last name and all that goes with it, and he’ll have his best friend at his side while it happens.

He’s absolutely ready for this.

#maria and alex friendship #mostly gen #malex ending #past miluca #angst #pain #and then productive healing #with talking #anon this was a fab prompt #it challenged me #and I loved it #roswell new mexico #tumblr prompts #the great 800 follower fill #Anonymous

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sweetsmellosuccess · 4 years

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Sundance 2020: Day 4

Number of Films: 5 Best Film of the Day: Bloody Noses, Empty Pockets

Promising Young Woman: It would certainly make sense that the world would be ready (and awaiting) a revenge thriller in the #metoo era. Unfortunately, this peculiar mish-mash of a film has far too many abrupt tonal shifts — more like a fly zipping around an outdoor picnic — to keep itself together. Carey Mulligan plays Cassandra, a young woman with a traumatic past, who seeks revenge against piggish men by posing as black-out drunk at clubs, going home with one hoping to score, only to turn the tables on them when given the chance. What she actually does to them is strangely vague (in the film’s opening sequence she dispatches Adam Brody’s character in a way that leaves blood spatters on her blouse — but we find out later he’s apparently fine), as is her exact motive, for a time. More confusingly, writer/director Emerald Finnel veers wildly in tone from one moment to the next: One minute, it’s a sweet romantic comedy; the next, a dramatic revenge thriller; before shifting to an archly satiric social commentary, all jumbled up into an unwieldy collage. In one crucial, dramatic scene, a character admits to her wrongdoing, but does so in a living room so notably gouache, with pink carpeting and frilly furniture, the characters actually acknowledge the weirdness of the setting to one another. The plot, which involves several unlikely convolutions, too often works against itself, all the way to a supremely unbelievable (if satisfying) ending. Milligan is strong, and the chemistry she shares with Bo Burnham, as a potential real love interest, is sparkly, but its tonal ambiguity eventually does it in.

Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets: Filming the last day and night of a dingy, hole-in-the-wall bar in Las Vegas, the Brothers Moss imbibe their neo-doc appropriately enough with a distinct ‘70s vibe, in keeping with both many of the clientele themselves, some of whom display a post-hippie vibe, and the concept itself, which plays like something out of Cassavettes joint. We start at the beginning of the day, as Michael, the bar’s chief barfly, is woken up from the counter, goes to shave in the bathroom, and again takes his customary seat at the bar. For the day shift, he’s being served by the genial bear of a bartender, who has a surprisingly good singing voice on those occasions where he is inspired to pick up his guitar and croon. Shortly thereafter, Michael is joined by a bevy of the other regulars, including Pete, a sweet-faced man with a long pony-tail and many stories of past relationships; John, a large Aussie, who bring a heavy, mysterious paper bag with him and tells the bartender to hide it for him. There’s also a former military grunt who gets mildly belligerent, a smattering of younger people who saunter in, and a host of others, at various levels of decay. As the day progresses, and the sweetly fierce Shay comes in to tend bar on the last night, the clients get more and more soused, and things turn drunkenly chaotic. Amidst numerous confessions, admissions, and exhortations off the clientele being “family,” a claim the saucy Michael instantly refutes (“we’re bar friends,” he says sternly, “not family”), the cameras capture the anarchic spirit of the place, even as it exposes the fissures in the nature of their relationships. Michael, the bar’s patron saint and conscience, seems to best crystallize this dichotomy: When he finally does shuffle off the next morning he does it with zero fanfare, as if no longer having to maintain the illusion that the place is anything other than a sad, dilapidated wreck, where patrons get to shut off their minds from whatever pains have driven them there.

The Nowhere Inn: Carrie Brownstein, of both Sleater-Kinney, and “Portlandia” fame, has a penchant for slightly oddball riffs; Anne Clarke, aka St. Vincent, is known for many things, none of them personal, details she protects vigorously. The “documentary” they have made together, along with director Bill Benz, then, is somewhat predictably a mash-up of concert footage (albeit limited), set-up scenes with Brownstein attempting and failing to make a doc of her own, and creative flights of fancy that half play like sketch comedy bits. It’s certainly interesting, concerning itself with issues of performative identity and audience expectation — including, naturally, the film audience — but I found myself less than enthralled with these various manipulations. I understand all documentaries, even ones that purport to be straightforward, are still formulations, but by the end of this one, not only have we not learned much new about the pair, it’s possible we know even less.

The Nest: It has been 12 long years since Sean Durkin has made a feature film. His debut, the brilliant Martha Marcy May Marlene, earned him richly deserved praise, so this was one of the films most anticipated by critics at the festival. He does not disappoint. The film is an exceedingly slow burn concerning wealthy commodities trader, Rory (Jude Law), his wife, Allison (Carrie Coon), a horse trainer, and their two children, as he moves them from a comfortable life in New York, to a huge English mansion outside London. Shrewd and successful, Rory is still moving too fast for his own good, a fact that puts tremendous strain on his familial relationships. Played as it is, a bit like a monsterless horror film — the actual horror being our own alienation from ourselves, as well as the people we love most — Durkin’s careful, precise filmmaking, and attention to character detail, really pays off in the later scenes. Law is brilliant, as per usual, and Coon is a bloody revelation. Ironically, it’s a film that the hyper, inattentive Rory wouldn’t have been able to sit through.

Downhill: Well, we knew this was coming the second this film, an American remake of the remarkable Ruben Ostlund helmed Force Majeure, was announced. Ostlund’s film, about a family on a ski trip in the Alps, where the hapless husband flees for his life when a controlled avalanche seems to head straight for them, deserting his wife and children in the process, is all about the subtle mechanics of interpersonal relationships, and the lies we are forced into believing about ourselves. This film, from comic team Nat Faxon and Jim Rash, eschews many of these delicate details to focus on a more broad comic premise. True to form, Farrell plays his character without genuine delusion — unlike the original, it’s clear to him from the start that he ran from his family, and doesn’t really try to believe otherwise — which makes his denial far less palpable. Meanwhile, they have added in various bits to generate enough plot momentum to carry through to the finish, some of which seem to counter the film’s very premise. There are some funny bits, and enough of the original is kept in place to keep it at least mildly provocative, but everyone is still vastly better off watching the original instead.

Tomorrow: A little bit of a mix-n-match type thing: We will likely begin with the comedy Palm Springs; then switch to horror for Amulet; and take in Assassins for a lighter day.

Into the frigid climes and rarefied thin air of the spectacular Utah Mountains, I've arrived in order to document some of the sense and senselessness of the 2020 Sundance Film Festival. Over the next week, armed with little more than a heavy parka and a bevy of blank reporter's notebooks, I'll endeavor to watch as many movies as I can and report my findings.

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cmtrydrve · 4 years

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hey ! my name’s link , i go by he/they pronouns , am 21+ & live in the cst timezone ! my only personality trait is being a bts , sment & girl groups enthusiast . i’m an aries sun with a pisces moon , which means i can be aggro , am always loud & obnoxious , but am a secretly sensitive softy , so plz be nice to me !!! this is my child , mikey , who’s stuck in 2006 & never grew out of his emo phase ( take that , mom ! ) . he’s also an aries , because my jjks always end up like that . hopefully , you’ll love him as much as i already do ! under the cut , you’ll find some misc . info & wanted connections . here are links to his dossier page & his pinterest board , which will hopefully give you some deeper insight . i’m excited to be here & write with you all ! like this if you’d like to plot & i’ll fly to your ims , but also feel free to add me on d*scord ( it’s easier for me as well ) : no brain only loving bts#6669 !

— jeon jungkook. he/they. demiboy. | was that michael “mikey” kwon i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-two year old spends most of their time working as a record store clerk / studying communications , but i’ve always just seen them dyeing their hair different colors with kool-aid . they live in 3c and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of getting into arguments online , an entirely black wardrobe and drinking six cups of coffee to make it through the day .

misc . info :

his parents are both very hip artists who met & fell in love while attending art school. they’re both very modern kind of parents, which meant that mikey grew up around a lot of self-expression (& being told to try it for himself), paint everywhere & pot.

growing up, he was allowed to paint his walls & even ceiling however he pleased & it instilled a love of creativity in him. his parents still have paintings he did as a child hanging up on their walls & fridge. even now, he still draws casually, though it was always a hobby for him & not his actual passion.

his parents are extremely caring & understanding. as a teenager, they allowed him to go out & party & always made sure to get him home safely. mikey genuinely can not remember a single time they ever yelled at him even when he fucked up massively. so he tries his best to make sure they’re happy & taken care of. but they’re adamant in supporting whatever mikey wants to do.

they were both the alternative types, which meant that rock music filled their home. mikey was familiar with classic rock from a young age & the sounds of fleetwood mac & other similar bands fills him with a warmth that can only be attained from childhood nostalgia.

his first taste of love came at the age of seven. his parents always brought home new albums to listen to & his dad purchased three cheers for sweet revenge by my chemical romance. while the screaming & raging instruments could have been too much for anyone else his age, mikey embraced it fully.

it ignited an adoration for the genre as a whole & soon enough, his parents were bringing home various emo music albums to sate the always dramatic & over-reacting mikey. for christmas, he received mcr’s discography (at the time, just two albums) on vinyl, which he still has hanged proudly on his wall as an adult.

he owns every variation of every mcr album now. vinyl, cd, cassettes. he even collects the japanese versions because he likes the way they’re designed.

he dropped the name mike / michael because of mikey way & he refuses to answer to anything else.

even though it’s largely part of “cringe culture” now (which mikey refuses to participate in), he loves hot topic & goes there whenever he can. his closet is full of band tees & he has a drawer filled with those spiky belts, bracelets & pants with the suspenders from his teenage years.

he’s been dyeing his hair regularly since he was twelve. he’s had every color under the sun. this is what his hair currently looks like but he dyes the highlights with kool-aid, so the color is always changing.

he has a nostril piercing & would probably get more done if someone so much as implied that he should.

he has a mcr stan twitter account & he gets into fights with everyone he decides has a wrong opinion. he’s been suspended multiple times for being too aggressive online, but he always comes back. he also has a tumblr account but he just uses it to reblog pictures of gerard way (his bias KJHFDKJ).

he works at a record store & goes to school for communications. he hopes to either be a radio dj or podcast host. he wants to get paid to talk about how much he loves music either way. but he loves his current job because he gets to talk about music all day and recommend albums to people. also it’s helpful in perfecting his own vinyl collection.

yes, he cried the day mcr broke up & yes he bought tickets to all their reunion shows. he took the day off when the tickets went on sale & his boss was understanding, knowing how much he loves the band.

he’s extremely impulsive. if you tell him to do anything, he more than likely will. he has a lot of stupid scribbled tattoos on him for this reason, especially on his hands.

while he doesn’t mind appearing masculine & even embraces it, he doesn’t fully align with being a man. he started identifying as nonbinary in his teens, but has never felt 100% a man his whole life. he’s fine with both he or they pronouns for the most part, though he does have his preferences day to day. he introduces himself as nonbinary so it’s not a secret & everyone who interacts with him is aware.

he’s kind of a party animal. he’s that loud person who drinks too much & ends up blacked out on the floor.

he gets in trouble a lot, because he plays music very loudly at both his workplace & his apartment. but he’s of the opinion that if music is too loud for you then you’re just too old.

he’s aggressive & very arrogant. he will fight you about anything & everything. he just likes to argue & he thinks he’s right about everything.

in typical aries fashion, he loves to flirt & be flirted with. he just adores attention & seeks out affection where he can find it. he gets crushes really easily & pursues aggressively (he’s extremely charming & good at making people feel good about themselves), but he gets bored when he actually obtains the person he desires. he’s never really seriously dated, but has had over a billion crushes in his lifetime.

thought dramatic & annoying most of the time, he’s also very loyal & has a good heart. if you’re in his circle of people he likes, then he’ll do anything for you point blank. he always tells his friends that he’d die for him & he means it.

while he tries to appear confident, he has secret insecurities stemming from being the middle child. he has issues with feeling like he’s not good enough or thinks he’s unnoticed by everyone, so he acts up by being dramatic.

he drinks A LOT of coffee, so he’s pretty much always bouncing off the walls.

he’s extremely pansexual & loud about it. if you’ve known him for longer than five minutes then you’ll find out how he wishes he could smash gerard way specifically in the helena mv to smithereens.

he very casually knows how to play guitar. he’s that person who plays wonderwall at every party.

while he’s not a fan of pop music, he knows most girl group dances & can do them well.

wanted connections :

exes (any gender. it will more than likely be something casual, like a few months or less, but we can discuss the timeline! also it can be messy or friendly. extra points if there’s lingering feelings!)

hookups / fwbs (any gender. singular experiences or regular type things)

childhood plots for those who’ve lived in seattle (childhood friends, first kisses / crushes, all that good stuff)

flirtationships that don’t go anywhere

one-sided crushes (don’t mind who has the feelings!)

mutual pining but they’re both idiots & have no idea

party buddies (can be drinking &/or smoking). emo music buddies. netflix buddies. any of these can be combined.

enemies???? (if we can decide on a suitable plot. or enemies with benefits :smirk:)

someone who knows of mikey from his stan twitter but doesn’t realize it’s him & talks shit openly about the asshole who runs the account in front of him.

on the opposite side of the spectrum, someone who he flirts with in the dms & they plan to meet up after realizing they live in the same apartment building.

tinder date (it can go well or not)

frequent customers (customers he flirts with or can’t stand because they just loiter or gets into fights with because they have bad taste in music

someone who takes advantage of mikey being willing to do anything he’s dared to do. make him do all the stupid shit he shouldn’t be doing, whether it’s getting tattoos / piercings or anything dangerous or just idiotic.

you’re sick of this asshole blasting music late at night & go to yell at him for it but oops he’s actually attractive (or you actually can’t stand him, whichever GKDHFGJFKD).

i have a huge tag full of plots i’d love to do on my rp spam blog. not all of them will be fitting for mikey but just ask me & we can try to change some elements or something!

literally anything you can think of i’m probably down for it!

#hide:intro #◟ * 𝟎𝟏𝟑. 𝑔𝑜 ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑝𝑙𝑧 › OUT OF CHARACTER #not me being ready on time for once wow

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