Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

I really got home and then redecorated for like 6 hours straight. I haven't slept in 25 hours basically 😐 and the last time I slept it was like, less than 5. This is how I adjust to the timezone change LMAO

But hey at least my F1 shrine is now more complete :D I now just need to frame the poster of Nando I got at the gp, but I have no idea where to put it. I love when I have an obsession, and then I always put the "shrine" precariously balanced on the tiny shelf on my desk. So that every time I have to find something, I risk knocking everything down

how DID you diminish your screen time? - love an adhd girlie who is glued to her phone :(

This is what worked for me personally, but tbh at some point you just have to play mental tricks w your own brain when you’re first trying to “break the spell.” I am never on my phone when I’m talking to someone. If I’m in the company of another human being, I put that shit away immediately. If I’m studying, my phone is in a different room. I’ve used app blockers before too (although for some people, sometimes even for me, it’s best to just quit cold turkey for days). I’m literally only here when I’m here & it works so well for me. I don’t have to live an 18th century existence, but I’m not frantically checking my phone for dopamine every two seconds either.

I also literally scared myself into being off my phone more. I downloaded an app that gave me a rough estimate on how much time I’d be spending over the course of a lifetime if I kept going the way I was going, and that shit added up to years. Years of screen time. I was fucking horrified lmao. Now that statistic pops into my mind whenever I’m tempted to waste a day scrolling away.

I don’t have to work as hard to be off my phone anymore, but that’s also bc I realized that internet FOMO is dumb and that I’m missing out on nothing by not keeping up w posts or memes. The only exception to that is Palestine. I’m usually pretty tightly wound about checking on the news and making sure I’m sharing credible fundraisers/resources bc it’s such a time sensitive situation. Pretty much nothing else actually matters to me.

S5E8 "The Roast" thoughts:

Ok, I watched this episode three times and I'm still smiling. I love when you think and episode is gonna be about something because of its title and then surprise you when its all a misdirection (see also: Succession's "Connor's Wedding").

At first Laszlo's err… state intrigued me, love everyone projecting and imposing their own insecurities (Guillermo's secret, Nadja's hex) as a reason on why he is behaving like that. And of course it's a stupid reason 😭.

"And a flat pepsi for Guillermo". Oh Nandor, that's the worst thing you ever done to Guillermo, that's the worst thing you could do to anyone. And yes, I remember a certain S4 episode.

I screeched like a bird when Colin mentioned dreaming about being a baby under Laszlo's care, not only because I wanted this shit to happen since the past finale, but also I really thought the episode was going on that direction (and also bc its another W for my predictions).

Having said that, LOVED the nonchalance of Nadja and the others when they were like 'no, it wasn't a dream, that totally happened'.

I mentioned it in a separate post: they really had a Sweet Dee in IASIP moment when The Guide gave the roast idea, only to be ignored and then the same idea being stolen by a dude who is celebrated.

Seanie's poor brain it should be soup at this point, we don't know if he can hazily remember the event like it happened before.

What can I remember is his line after Nadja's roast because it was one of the biggest laughs for me: "Women CAN be funny!" I fucking loved it so much, it's the perfect condescending shit straight men say all the time, even when they're trying to be complementary to you they can't stop being garbage. It was a simple line but Anthony nailed the delivery and timing. Seriously, rewatch that part.

At first I was confused why all the jokes were so mid, but shortly I realized this episode wasn't about the roast at all, lol.

Just by watching screenshots of other users I noticed that in the scene of Nandor resting his head on Guillermo's shoulder there's a BIG flame between them. LMAO. There's no way that is unintentional.

Good for The Guide being the catalyst of Baron Afanas learning the truth. I was demanding more screen time for her lately, so having some incidence in the main plot goes on the plus column.

The other guests present at the roast being shocked at the knowledge of Guillermo killing vampires surprised me; I always assumed Guillermo being a familiar/slayer was a known fact in the vampire community after his very public massacre at the Théâtre des Vampires.

Fuck yeah when I realized this is a Doug Jones spotlight episode, I just fuckin ahgdjkaksdf, love him, perfect, no notes.

The Baron being terrifying!! Guillermo was seriously scared for the others and he barely tried to show off his Van Helsing abilities.

Nandor and Nadja begging the Baron to not hurt Guillermo!! 😭 Them being dragged while grabbing the cape!! 😭 They're spiritual siblings to me!! 😭😭

They really reminded me a little bro and sis begging their mom to not hit their beloved older brother with the chancla for talking back or something.

I fell for the two fake-outs with the sack lol I'm so gullible when it comes to vampires I guess.

NANDOR PAINFUL SOUNDS (MOANS???) WHEN HE BELIEVED HE WAS IN FRONT OF GUILLERMO'S INERT BODY. IT WAS SAD BUT ALSO A LITTLE HORNY!!!

"At least he died doing what he loved: beating off in the toolshed."

A wonderful small detail: After Laszlo opened fake Guillermo with the knife he cleaned his hands on The Guide's dress.

Idc if you think its dark, the whole 'Nandor will kill you and then kill himself' bit becoming a recurring joke it's peak writing.

I wish I can say something more serious about Baron Afanas' sadness over how boring his life is now. But I just keep thinking that the way he talks about his homelife with The Sire and the Hellhound sounds exactly when a dude has a middle life crisis and suddenly he doesn't enjoy his marriage anymore. They're husbands!! And I loved how cunty he looked at the end all half-charred (see posted gif) Queen!

Now, the Nandermo of it all: What more can I say than incoherent screaming and foaming from the mouth? Episodes 8 are all about them again!! Nandor on the window looking all cliched melancholic heroine of a romance novel?? How relieved he was when he found him in the coffin??? Him still remembering Guillermo's card word for word???!! Knowing that this toxic dark sided devotion goes both ways???!!! Borrowing the words of Fleabag: THIS IS A LOVE STORY.

Seriously, I know all these soft Nandor moments are here so the heartbreak when he learns about Guillermo being turned it's even bigger. But still denying that there is a romantic undertone between these two it's just being purposely adamant at this point (i'm looking at you wwdits reddit). Even if nothing explicitly romantic happens on screen, just by watching these moments, I know, we know.

Now, go listen to the ending song again. You will not regret it.

(Didn't want to distract from your original post)

I am sooo normal about Yandere!MC and Seemingly Normal!Cove <- (he's not normal, a normal person would be terrified if a yandere commits violence in their name.)

Like Cove deserves it. All three boys do, but Cove is my favorite by a little bit. (Plus I think Derek and Baxter would actually be normal here and scared lol)

((Two iterations of my Cove!Mc are yanderes for him with four total iterations of said MC.))

He'd be so sweet and melty for the MC omg... his woozy blushy smile when the MC comes to him covered in blood and talks to him in a sing-song tone about how they took out the person being a creep to him and how nobody's gonna come between them/hurt him and how much they love and adore him, how he's all theirs forever and ever, and more sweet nothings.

Just the most down bad catastrophic romantic words you can think of coming out of someone who's shaking from adrenaline and covered in blood.

((3/4 iterations of my Cove!MC ended up promising him at 13 when they get together that no one will ever hurt him now if they have their way.))

Depending on how hopelessly in love (mind-broken) Cove is, I can definitely see him being down to have sex/you claim him once more after killing someone with the body nearby.

feel free to relog my posts w anything you wanna add!!! I love it n 7/10 times we all have the same brain worms n it's beautiful

my brain is tainted w the thought of kissing or having sex w cove with blood still on your hands... body doesn't have to be nearby but smth abt it is so sexy isn't it???

or cove joining you in the shower, washing the blood off of you and giving you head afterward while still in the shower, clinging into his hair and the shower head. it's a good thing you have one of those grippy shower rugs in here

idk abt mind break/sherlock holmes syndrome bc I like the idea of him alrdy being a little outta it but maybe it's like a gradual thing like all their life mc has said crazy shit n if they come home a little bloody well that's so fucking sexy n he's only mildly concern now that your lips are on him

I can totally see this cove being into bdsm shit though

he'd say it offhandly one day when you're having a jealous fit "well put a collar on me then"

and so you get him a few to choose from maybe and a tag

it shouldn't turn him on, this is beyond kinky probably, maybe a normal person would consider this sick.

but his dick is straining against his pants and his heart is racing and he's getting so hot n dizzy just thinking abt it

n when it's on he can't help looking at you for approval, and if you're a real dog then you clip a leash onto him the second he's facing you or while he's looking in the mirror you come up from behind and show it to him

he's nervous, that's really inappropriate but fuck if he's not happy to wear it

so you clip it on him "this way you can never stray far from me. you're mine."

fuck he'll random send you pictures while you're at work with his collar on under his dress shirt. he wears it everywhere.

maybe don't let your family see it though and keep smth more... normal. for him to wear

I almost forgot ong but he'd prbly get your name tatted on him

maybe a tramp stamp or over his dick, or over his heart. wherever you want really

I think I said it but he'll flirt just to see that look come across your face. to feel and see how dangerous you are, how rough you are

you'll beat the guy or girls ass from the bar until you're kicked out by force and then you'll go home and rearrange his guts for flirting with some bitch on purpose.

it always leaves his hips sore and his voice hoarse or gone, and you're putting ointment on some of your deeper bites or hickeys with an apologic kiss and tone.

omfg he'll even fuck you in the car, the person that was flirting w him earlier will come around the side and gets a front row view to the car shaking, fogging up, and then he can see cove's hand slap against the window and his green hair against the window as you fuck him up against the door

or if you're really risky then you'll fuck him on the side of the building, his pants around his ankles as you take him from behind and his knees shaking as you grip his hair, pulling his hair back.

the person can see cove moaning loudly and begging you to choke him harder, to hit him harder..

sees how he smiles and laughs when you call him a slut, telling him how dirty he is for wanting it outside and to be seen.

yeah this cove is a total freak n his sanity is questionable

OKOK @indigoartistqueen i'll ramble and elaborate err i'm keepin it here cause this rlly isn't smthing i want on slaingelo especially bc i get a bit mad in this oops

CAMERAS LIKE THAT ARE USELESS. ALSO THEY MAKE SHIT WORSE IF YOU ARE PARANOID. having them inside your house is unnecessary unless you're convinced someone's living in your house without you knowing. otherwise it does nothing but take up electricity or batteries and money ect ect whatever. If you unnecessarily install cameras you're going to be checking them constantly. and also within the context of just "waah my big strong man is out for a week i'm so scareed i'm going to put cameras inside my house" WHAT IS THAT GOING TO DOOOOOOOOOOO SOMEONE HAS TO /ALREADY BE BROKEN IN TO YOUR HOUSE/ FOR THAT TO BE "USEFUL" AT ALL AND BY THAT POINT IT'S NOT SECURITY WHATTTTTT

like other people said in that post, security like that makes it impossible to get out of your house fast/give first responders a hard time getting in. I have a bar in my window. it's removable from the inside very easily and all it serves to do is keep the window from opening more than a few inches. this mf would install damn prison bars if her husband had to go away for a month.

IF YOU'RE THAT PARANOID ABOUT LOCKS GET A FUCKING DEADBOLT AND/OR CHAINLOCK OH MY GOD. first responders are more likely to know how to get around those than "mobile locks" what the fuck is a mobile lock. OH WAIT !! SHE ALREADY HAS A DEADBOLT AND SHE'S DOUBLING UP WITH THE MOBILE LOCK. HUH ???????????????????????????????????

YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW YOU ARE HOME.... when I'm home alone I actively try to make it look like someone's always awake. do I go over the top locking every door and window in the house and leave the curtains facing the backyard closed and did I once move furniture to block my bedroom door in order to sleep ? yeah sure but I'M MENTALLY ILL. WHAT I'M SCARED OF ISN'T EVEN PEOPLE BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE FFS IT'S MONSTERS THAT AREN'T REAL BUT MY DELUSIONAL BRAIN CONVINCES ME IT IS REAL TO THE POINT OF INSOMNIA IN PARTICULARLY BAD EPISODES. I AM NOT THE AVERAGE WHITE AMERICAN WOMAN FOR I AM NOT EVEN ANY OF THOSE THINGS

literally the only way I can see someone going this far for security in a way that ISN'T just "this is an ad" and/or "i am trying to brew fascism" is if someone fell into the delusion of being gangstalked, and in which case, they probably aren't posting their entire security system online because they'd be convinced their stalkers are watching their every move online and offline lol... it sure as hell wouldn't be framed like this either. also if it was the case she'd still be scared while her husband was home. it wouldn't magically appear when he's done, it would be constant.

doing shit like this isn't normal nor healthy, it's either a sign of going severe into the alt right pipeline and/or severe mental health issues that are going unchecked bc those are absolutely not mutually exclusive.

even the "keeping a flashlight nearby" thing is stupid in the sense that I DO THAT. BECAUSE WE FREQUENTLY GET POWER OUTAGES HERE ???????????????? what's it going to do if there is an intruder are you going to shine it in their fuckin face. what, can't see them thru your aesthetic lighting ?? what's the fuckin whistle going to do ... you've isolated yourself your home alone it's a WHISTLE. at the veyr least get a fucking weapon, HUH ?????????????

honestly I don't even know how coherent any of this is, it pisses me off a lot. I've done a lot of shit to try and feel "safe" and frankly it feels insulting especially given my minor agoraphobia too [ can't leave the house alone, i always need a friend or family w/ me ] especially the weird way this shit is made aesthetic. AGAIN. LIKE THE FUCKIN PURPLE LIGHTING IN THE VIDEO. AND ALSO THE SLEEK TECH.

the aesthetic-ification of that video is probably what REALLY gets me mad about it though.. like it really just makes it feel like an ad playing both on white peoples fears and mentally ill people.

blah blah my experiences aren't universal and my delusional paranoia isn't "that bad" compared to other ppls. whatever. i don't like it either way

rambling on here again bc 12 people see this blog so it’s more private but also a step above talking to a void

i have such a weird relationship w/ my comic, where it makes me really fucking sad but it’s also the thing i enjoy most. 

i’m honestly grateful it’s doing as well as it is for over 120 eps in in an obscure genre that like 1% of WT readers care about. i know it has a core audience and at least a chunk of them are gonna be here until the end. but man is it also depressing just to see the inevitable drop in readership of a comic 120+ and 4 years in. I know I have readers but it’s so depressing to stumble across a forum titled “name your fav webtoons” or “name what ur reading” and it having like 20394802384 comments and not a single mention of CoB. It reminds me just how insignificant my work is and how little reach it has outside of WT itself. 

I want to keep doing comics for the rest of my life but I don’t know if I have the following to ever create something w/ half the success of CoB, which isn’t even a success in my eyes. It’s just something exists and some people enjoy it. I know the numbers on CoB aren’t the smallest but like fuck, I can’t even get those numbers to follow me on twitter and instagram or to get them to even mention me more than twice a year on reddit. What are the chances those numbers will follow me to my next comic? 

Its sad. I feel like my comic career has peaked but the peak wasn’t even a mountain. It was like a big hill at most. 

But all that said, I know a lot of people would probably read this and tell me I should take a break or something. But I... really? Don’t? Want to? Despite all this, there’s nothing I enjoy more than just...working on my comic. Even rn as I’m feeling like utter shit, I’m just typing this over my morning coffee and can’t wait to just sit down and get to work today. The result depresses me. The numbers dropping every time I post, the lack of reaction and constantly being told “oh i haven’t caught up in ages” by the small percent who do still follow me (seriously, please stop telling creators this. ik you mean well but it kinda hurts). but the actual creation? i love it. i love turning my brain off, putting on a youtube vid, and working on this comic all day. i love turning on my brain occasionally to figure out cool new way to do assets or lighting or FX, i love solving a plot hole that’s been in the way for ages, i love making character designs, i even love making the little google spreadsheet and inputting the numbers to calculate all my expenses for line art and translation fees. i love making my comic!!!!!! i never want to stop. 

but every week when i see smaller numbers and less and less interest, i get so scared and sad knowing i might have to stop after CoB. That I might not have the following to keep doing this for the rest of my life after CoB. That even if my next comic gets greenlit (something I doubt more every week that my numbers drop), what are the chances it’ll pull the numbers CoB did and do well enough to tell the full story?

I feel like I’m driving a car that’s nearing the Empty Tank warning and I don’t know if there’s a gas station near enough to make it to my destination 

(Still selective) Genshin characters and what kind of hs students I think they would be pt. 2

part uno

notey-chan: I’m sorry for the 4 month wait. I’ve put this off for too long. I have no regrets writing this. Fuck genshin impact I wanted Yae die Ayato. Kazuha rerun pls. Unfortunately this may have less spirit since I’m not writing this whilst I’m shifting my brains out.

warnings: cursing / nsfw / drugs / infrequent hcs / spelling errors?/ hs topics / favoritism (esp on Kokomi’s part sorry not sorry) / gay gay gay lesbian homo ppl

Ei/ Yae

-Ei is a language arts teacher and Yae is the hot librarian

-I have a feeling Ei wanted to b a history teacher but Zhongli was ready to fight for that spot (boomer thingz)

-So she settled for language arts

-I also think that she’d teach fencing for some fancy defined art like that as a side gig

-Now, hear me out: Ei runs a book club with Yae

-Ei and Yae are childhood best friends

-Yae supervises the student council and they all confide in her a lot

-Kaeya and Childe have definitely hit on Yae or Ei more than a couple of times

-Ei’s legit 🤏 this close to suspending them

-Yae def knows abt Kazuha’s drug business. But she’s chill about it

-She probably helped him name it (some poetry shit (love that pot 🍃))

-Ei forgets her umbrella a lot and Yae always brings an extra for her

-They give each other chocolates during Valentine’s Day (tell the students “it’s a formality” but we all know that isn’t true)

-Yae prides herself on keeping her library clean and pretty

- all of the staff are scared of her

-Ei unironiclly stops Venti in the hallways while school alr started bc she thinks he’s a student

-Yeah, Ei and Yae both hate Venti

Arataki Numero Uno Itto

-MEANCE

-Sets camp in the detention room

-He probs has a designated desk w a name plate for him IN GOLD bc “silver isn’t manly”

-He’s tried to make a “fighting” club but the school wouldn’t allow it so he settled on Judo

-Probably tries to learn a new language if he finds out a foreign exchange student will be transferring

-Puts his feet on his desk

-Notorious virgin. Like even if a student was desperate they’d stay a good 37 feet away from him

-He has a gang, but he doesn’t beat people up

-Worse thing they’ve done was accidentally break a classroom window while trying to decide who can throw the biggest rocks

-Anytime a teacher assigns a project he tries to convince them if he can make it into a video to show the class

-Sara is contemplating a transfer

Kokomi

-IK she has a fan club. Half of the student body is in it. Literally no shame

-She’d slay in karaoke

-Would unintentionally start trends too like??? First week of school everyone dyed their hair pink and blue

-She prefers manga over anime. Reads TBHK and AOT

-Cuts her hair shoulder length frequently but her hair grows back so fast

-Marine science specialist. Also an advocate for all sea animals. Makes PowerPoints and everything

-She has like whales, starfishes, and whatever charms on her school bag

-Rich

-Has a wide food pallet. Like she is able to properly judge food with an extensive review

-She has taken some self defense classes, but gorou refuses to let her walk alone at night.

-He’ll probably go to war for her (even tho he alr has)

-Kokomi definitely has great comebacks. no one picks fights w her

-really nothing negative to say about her except her hyperfixation on sea animals

Albedooo

-brings the game frfr

-unintentionally

-he wants nothing to do w 80% of the students there. but SOMEHOW he attracts them all (kinda like komi’s brother or Saiki)

-he reads nerdy shit like the periodic table for f-fun 🤢

-yeah a chemistry nerd

-the only time he ever involved himself with school activities is when it has to do w science. And he’d always bring up some crazy theory that makes sense

-victim of TikTok challenges

-Kaeya definitely stopped him in the middle of the hallway, put his phone up to his mouth and asked him what song he was listening too

-only kid with actual academic potential. he could graduate early if he wanted to

-always does unauthorized experiments in the school laboratory (with sucrose or someone bc he doesn’t want to get in trouble alone)

-if the school ever held like a fitness/sports event he’d do extremely well in track or fencing. Like he’s innately athletic

-agreed to become class treasurer and head of the chemistry club after constant begging from many of the students

-brings an extra large coffee to school and ACTUALLY finishes it

-his style is a whole vibe tbh

uh??? okay so, 1k???? so fucking rad man god that's cool, it's been like 7 months and already being at 1k is just rad as hell so thank you all sm for the love and support!!

now I'm gonna be cheesy and give a big s/o to some amazing moots I've met if u don't care for that don't go under the cut.

then it's just a big thank you and I'm gonna do a celebration gif request thing so look out for that post later!!!

so okay so you know it, your mom knows it, we all know who I'm doing first, my two favorite people on this godforsaken website

@antogioamoremio Fran, baby, I love you so much ur the glue that keeps our lil insane throuple together you're so kind and so caring and I can always talk to you about anything and it's so incredible to call you a friend. Your creativity and love and the way you always just get me is so fucking important to me. the calls we've had are forever burned into my brain as core memories and you are just so fucking important to me I can't express it in the right words.

@gruaigruaa Niamh, the third to our trouple my wife, you're incredible and so creative and good and the braindumps we've had w the three of us about insane aus and ships and it's so wonderful to have you in my life and I'm so fucking thankful for that. I can't imagine my life without you two rn. I can always talk, rant, scream to you two and I know you'll understand, react, respond in the way i need you two and I'm so happy i have that.

@spygate Luna, ur insane in the most affectionate way possible, everytime I get that notif that just goes 'kyle' I know I'm in for at least another hour of laughing at your texts and I love having that with you and you're so fun and easy to talk to and I love having you around so much.

@oscar-piastri Cassy, I'm pretty sure I've tagged u in every single milestone celebration I've ever done on this website. we've been mutuals for I'm guessing 4 to 5 years now which is insane and we just started talking bc of F1 and it's so fun to have u around and you're so insanely creative and I can always talk to you about ideas and edit shit and that's so incredibly amazing.

@acrosstobear amanda dude, we havent even been moots for to long but U deserve a special s/o for being the mick blog and giving me updates about him on the tl and feeding me so so well you're one of the the reasons I'm insane over mick so u deserve extra love

and then I'm just gonna talk about the two GCs because that's like a lot of people and they're like a lil heap.

watchpartygc: y'all, because of them I really got into F1, I learned so much and found out the coolest shit and I was so scared and intimidated when I first got into the GC bc I was so new but I was welcomed so quickly and I'm so happy to have y'all, you're the easiest group of people to talk to and I'm so happy to call y'all friends.

chircusgc: u lot are insane, haven't been in this GC for long but the time I have has been amazing and so funny and y'all are such a funny and creative group of people who bring out the best and worst in eachother, y'all are so easy to talk to and I'm so happy to have joined yall

and then the tags of all he amazing moots who I wanna thank for being here the last months who have been amazing and kind and supportive and just wonderful most of y'all are like heaped into those GCs (if I forgeot a gc member im so sorry aksjdb) so ajdbdkd anyway ya thank u all are wonderful, those that are in here and not in the gc's so many smootches to you thank you for all the love and support

@multi-2-1 @ivettel @gnmick @estiebestieban @gewistruther @mickstart @meova101 @vettelsbitch @andysrobertson @teamgreenheart @c2stan @gncharles @albertparkgp @balaclavalines @balaclavacharles @ferrariprince @brixworthbrackley @andreagrimes

if I forgot any of ya'll I'm so sorry all my moots are so amazing and wonderful and all the gc members especially ya'll make this lil fandom worth it

JUST REALISED IM LIKE 66% OF THE MAFUAKI TAG????? AND NO ONES POSTED CRAZY INSANE BRAINROT HERE??? IM ALONE??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN

ok whatever i’ll i i here’s more insanity under the cut

this is genuinely just brainrot, headcanons, and random character analysis abt mafuaki and their dynamic

mafuyu is aromantic in my brain 🫶 so her dating him is genuinely just her fucking around bc shes bored and wants to feel something

also mafuyu is good at everything too so its double hitting the complex

hes never gonna be good enough

LIKE mafuyu's whole thing is being the perfect daughter who is good at everything despite not giving a shit about any of it, so she finds it really funny that akito has self esteem issues and is constantly comparing his abilities to other people

shes probably like

wow. this is smth i really dont experience

and ig she also compares it to ena's behaviour and shes defs like "oh yeah they sure as fuck are related'

coz the shinonomes are teeming with jealousy and inferiority because they can never live up to the standard they want

ena has complicated feelings about art because all her life she's being told she'll never make it

and akito knows hes nowhere near as good as the rest of vbs and he tries to hide it behind a tough guy persona

its so gap moe...

MAFUYU drags him to her room one day and keeps him in a fucking garbage bag/bodybag duct taped and cuffed and hes like freaking out bc even tho he did consent to this (he wanted to see her room) the fact she WENT THROUGH w this at all w/o a hint of remorse is downright terrifying

also when he looks around her room and how barren it is hes like 😟

"ohhh im so fucked why am i here"

he also accidentally finds out mafuyu composes music and its better than anything hes ever written to the point he fucking cries LOL

i would assume like

their rls is super casual coz theyre both busy

but they make time to see each other because a) akito gets to flex he has a girlfriend b) mafuyu finds him decently entertaining to which she's surprised about c) its a win-win

AND IDK its just super entertaining to me

thinking abt a shitty crack beach episode 25ji and vbs crossover.....

mafuyu in a swimsuit 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

mizuki in a sun dress or some shit and refusing to go in the water

kanade fucking dies.png

ena is there for her socmed

kohane and an in couple drip and they fucking slay

toya is barely allowed to go and hes in some expensive swimsuit and kinda pathetic. like. hes all "wow this is my first time!"

akito thinks ena is so embarassing rn but Holy Shit Mafuyu Has D Cups

hes so repressed abt being gay he tricks himself into liking boobs. or maybe hes bi idk

teenage boy crisis of "NO i cant like men i love boobs ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️"

(guy who dreams about making out with toya)

also i just think its funny that toya is completely oblivious in this au until either halfway or the end bc hes fr just

"yayy i have friends!!"

😭😭😭

akito is scared shitless of mafuyu tho bc  he's begun to notice her smiles don't reach her eyes

and any friend of ena's has hella issues

i don't think mafuyu ever really opens up to him about her mental issues but akito isnt completely dumb, he can kinda sense that theres smth wrong w her, especially like. the fact she has an empty aquarium in her room is fucking FREAKY

also the way he has to be snuck in there is just 💀 ermm rip girlie

mafuyu's parents knock on her door and she throws him out the window

i’m so normal abt them

Getting inspiration from "shipping your moots with character" anon who got inspiration from "shipping your anons with characters anons", which characters do you think would ship themselves with your moots and or anons

HMMMM okay okay this is actually really interesting, and i actually had to work my brain a little bit to decide on this one bc whoaa i never thought abt this before... I decided to interpret it more as 'crush' rather than 'ship themselves w/' bc I dunno why but it felt easier for me to do decide on it if i worded it that way HAHA ALSO !! I tried to mix it up a bit instead of giving people their usual pairs, you know ??? So that it's more fun, too !!

Again, just going off who I think of first ! Nothing personal to the people I didn't include <3 ALSO LMAOO I laughed when I read the 'getting inspiration from... who got inspiration from...' line haskdnaj

I think that GOROU would have a crush on @bluexiao !! Because, like, Blue is super rational and hard working, and super good at what she does, right? Blue gets results babeyyy, but ae is also super fun and chill and easy to converse with when she wants to be, which I think are both things that Gorou would find totally crush-worthy in a person.

I also think that THOMA would have a crush on @awlumii !! Similar to Thoma, Mars is very easy to get along with, as I'm sure anyone who's ever interacted with faer can agree ♡ And and and Mars is super chill and funny, too, which I think would make conversations very enjoyable for both of them !!

Okay okay this one took some thinking, but I think that TIGHNARI would have a crush on my LUCID ANON. Listen !! Luce is super sweet, okay. Very sweet, makes super easy conversation, and is good at both listening to people talk while also still participating in the conversation, so that it’s obvi that Luce is listening to what you say! I really think that Tighnari would enjoy having someone around who likes to listen to him, and who genuinely makes conversation with him because they enjoy it, so he’s gonna be superrrr smitten with Luce 

Imo, BEIDOU would deffo have a crush on @sohyuki !! ! dunno how to describe it, but Mint give off a specific 'super sweet and nice but will go for ur kneecaps if anyone talks shit' kind of energy? And Mint is, like super cool and level-headed usually, so I totally think that Beidou would take such a shine to her.

MAN Okay okay Honestly speaking? I think that NINGGUANG might have a thing for my Beans anon 😳 LISTEN hear me out okay–– Beans’s personality is soooo super duper explosive in the best way. Goes fuckin feral whenever they feel like, but at the same time they can also be cool as fuck and totally a bad bitch, yk? Not to mention Beans isn’t scared to have opinions and to be honest, which is right up Nigguang’s alley.

HEIZOU would have a crush on @yonaraee change !! my !! mind !! Yona is super nice and fun, but she's also got the kind of personality that is so easy to get along with, and is always down for fun and hijinks! She's super endearing, and just very generally is good at keeping fun moods going, so I can 100% see heizou making heart eyes bro.

Dude !! I can 100% see KOKOMI having a crush on @kazeyu !! Listen listen, as the resident Kokomi whisperer, ik what she likes, okay? And Listen, Yoi is so incredible and sweet and caring and she's always so understanding :( Yoi is an absolute darling and is so good for helping people who are feeling down or low on energy to feel better and cared for, which is why I think that Kokomi would be smitten.

And lastly, listen listen listen I know i said I would switch things up and wouldn't name an obvious pair, but bro I have to say that hands down AYATO would have a crush on @seelestia . LISTEN OKAY Lia is very chill and easygoing, but is an absolute dear to hold a conversation with. She’s interesting and respectful, but also makes some fun banter and jokes that you literally cannot help but enjoy !! I genuinely think that afternoon walks between her and Ayato would have that man head over heels ASAP.

Rant tw

God today was so fun but so dumb at the same time. Like I had a flare up w/ symptoms but we went out and I got some art supplies and my bf got food and candy and we walked around the grocery store just having fun. Then we made a really yummy supper (gluten free falafel!!) that tasted great and was super healthy too.

Then my dad made a blueberry crumble and he even modified the sugar for me bc he knows I have an intolerance (added sugars r also just a big fear food of mine) and before I could jump up and help him, he gave me a piece along with a HUMONGOUS dollop of ice cream. So I ate it but the whole time my brain was literally screaming at me and calling me awful and gross and disgusting. Now I’m bloated, like seriously distended. I look like i swallowed a fucking house. I feel like such a fucking failure because I could’ve maybe gotten out of eating all of it but I did not wanna hurt his feelings. I also checked my stomach after and dhdgdgdgdg I just think the sugar made me bloat.

I’m so scared of my ribs disappearing. I know the whole “yOu wOn’T gAiN wEiGhT iF yOu eAT NOrmAL fOr a DaY” thing but yes i will. My metabolism is so fucked. If the bones in my hands become less visible and my ribs stop showing i will literally rip my fucking face off.

The other thing is is that I want to keep losing weight drastically, but I can’t mother fucking exercise because now I think I have a pinched nerve in my back. It’s hard to walk or stand upright or lift anything heavier than a mug. If I was eating more and exercising a shit ton I wouldn’t be as nervous and flipped out but I can’t move!!!! I just want to exercise off all this gross fucking food but I can’t. I feel so huge and stuck and gross and like a big ball of fat.

I will NOT be tormented by feeling like I have done the wrong thing because I like... Objectively have not? There’s a little bastard in my brain calling me a “bad leftist” for calling animal control and CPS and so on, but like. I am doing it because I hear this man yelling at his dogs and children and the shit he says reminds me of my mother and that was so bad I have a cocktail of mental illnesses that will be lifelong even w treatment probably--

that it triggers me (it does, I have no other words for it) is a side effect, and part of the reason I even call. But that same part of me keeps saying I’m selfish for calling for that reason. But even if that were true, and I’m doing this because I’m an evil selfish bastard who wants all of my neighbors to be silent 24/7 (I don’t...) it would be better to call than not--

so like. I think it’s okay that I called CPS, and animal control. I think it is okay because I would rather do that and turn out to be misinterpreting (I don’t think I am, though) reality rather than just sit and do nothing while some poor kids and dogs get abused next door. even if it doesn’t fix anything at least they’ll know someone gives a shit.

I hate that post that went around somewhere like “if you call the cops on someone and they get shot you are responsible for their murder” because that’s really fucked up and uh. what else are you supposed to do in certain situations? let people get hurt? just let it happen??? I was so scared to call the cops when I was overhearing a domestic violence situation once bc the woman was screaming for help and I couldn’t do anything but call. and I don’t know if it helped, but I was the only one who called. everyone else in the city, in my whole complex, ignored her.

I can only do what I would hope someone would do for me if I was that afraid, you know? there aren’t other options and most civilians do not have the training to talk people down or protect people even though I wish this were so.

I had a dream last night. That. Me and some other people were maybe ghost hunters ? I dont fully remember. And there was a big mansion house that we had to investigate bc the previous ghost hunters whod went inside hadnt been seen in weeks, and nobody even saw them leave. So like, me and my team of Vague Dream People That Were An Amalgamation Of People From Irl And People From Fiction went in and yknow it was a normal fuckin ghost house thing there were some spooks n scares but all in all just normal rlly. And then we found the group from before us and were like what the hell man how r u guys alive and they were like dudr tf wdym and we were like dudes its been weeks u dont have that kinda food ans they were like errr ur like mixing us up w someone else weve only been here an hour or 2 so then we were like. Ok what. And then left the house w that group who fucked off to go do their own thing bc my brain couldnt handle keeping track of a group over 4 people. But like when we left some ppl were like holy fuck ur alive. And we were like. Yea. Its only been like. 20 or 30 minutes. And they were like nah man its been days. And then i was like. Man r u serious that sucks ive wasted days of july what the fuck i love summer i dont wanna waste it man what the hell and like yeah i kinda ignored how. This house was like Magic Ooooo Time Moves Differently Inside bc i was too upset id gone from the 17th to the 20th. And then i was like suddenly in my grandmas attic and lookin out the window and it was like. It was like the attic wad attached to the rest of the scenes like a sorta. Set almost yknow. So like i chilled in my grandmas attic and then i knew i had to go to school? So i just left her attic through the fourth wall and went to the set of the big mansion and went in there for like 5 minutes and came out and id skipped school but accidentallt skipped too far and it was like late night. But ye i figured this house could b used 2 my advantage but probably also could fuck some things up. Bc i hadnt figured out the exact like time exchange that it was. Bc my brain hadnt come up w it solidly yet so like a couple hours meant a couple weeks and half an hour meant a couple days and 5 minutes meant like 12 hours but also sometimes a full day but also sometimes less. But yea idk i played around w that thing until is skipped like a week and then realised id missed my friends birthday which was apparently the day before the one i was at. So i Left the Set and walked home and went to my primary school bc apparently all my friends were there even tho we all went 2 different primary schools and i found my friend id missed the birthday of and i gave her a cat that materialized out of thin air and then turns out all my friends had their cats with them so we like. Pet a lot of cats outside this primary school. And then it was like. I was on the fuckin set of jrweek yknow the second one they had w the like boat thing. And i wasnjust fucking lookin at them but apparently they were recorsing like a 3 hour long episodr and it was episode like 140 or smth. But they were just recreating what id done the rest of the dream and i tried to ask them what the fuck was going on n why was i there but it was like i eas fuckin invisible or some shit n they just ignored me. And then they kept mentioning genloss like ober and iver and over and insinuating that charlie was the only one of them that WASNT in genloss and i was like. Erm. Okay. What. And they only THEN seemed to notice me and were like dude what the fuck ur being so cringe right now like literally stop it go watch our patreon nerd snd i was like. Dudes i already am subbed 2 ur patreon. And they were like. But u havent finished pd yet u fucking pussy and i was like ok this is just uncalled 4 and then i woke up to big bin truck outside bc id left my windoe open and it was loud as FUCK anyways ir was a weird dream and one of the only times over the past few days ive felt neutral abt my dream in comparison to irl. Anyways. Goodbye

firstly, tell me why i had that wooyoung shit figured OUT LMAOOO. I literally called it HAHAHA. the way i knew this fool was part of the fruit community

i love the idea that like this story and your writing in general continues to make me go, men ain’t shit fr. but then my tiktok has san getting scared while playing video games and mingi being called pink princess like 🧌.

reading this story with the prologue in mind is insane bc i get that technically no one has really done anything wrong yet ? per se. but san rlly is or ig…is going to be? a grade a asshole.

atp i can understand that sans not at fault (YET apparently) bc like, let’s be real LMAO the agreement was set in place and even y/n herself UNDERSTANDS it, she just continues to play into it bc of her feelings. i cant imagine how san ACTUALLY ends up fucking up (ig putting aside the fact that he couldn’t even be a friend or at the very least an acquaintance and help her w her assignment). like ik y/n probably WILL get mad but she doesn’t rlly hav the right to get mad at him for kissing that girl watever her name is cus she and san aren’t exclusive. but like regardless of the fact, i’m stil obv rooting for y/n bc she’s going through it and she’s being treated terribly by so many ppl for stupid reasons, esp w the knowledge that they all think so shallowly of her and don’t take into account any of her actual interests or experiences like damn.

AND THEN there’s like the fact that (entirely from context and my assumptions alone) y/n didn’t even outright SAY any of this or tell san how she felt until she wrote that letter AFTER THE FACT like ??? that’s INSANE like my brain is scrambling to finish the puzzle before i even hav all the pieces. like ik u said ur not sure about the ending but does san get the letter ? do we even see how he reacts to it ???? (i’m assuming she’ll tell wooyoung or hongjoong tbh)

ALSO i can’t get over the description of why yunho doesn’t like y/n like…damn, homie’s giving incel energy. giving nate jacobs wanting maddy to be a virgin energy (but not nate jacobs wanting maddy cus yunho apparently can’t handle high maintenance bad bitches). idk he’s giving very small peepee, in the closet, daddy issues energy and yeosangs got his own issues that we don’t even know about yet like don’t let me find out i’ll probably lose it.

i’m LITERALLY rambling nonsense and i’m at work rn. anyways amazing work ONCE AGAIN. i cant get over how you write and how you flesh out the characters. cant wait for my boy mingi to be properly introduced. let’s see how my emotions handle that.

-🧃

there is so much to discuss in this message hold on;

first of all, wooyoung being part of the skittles squad well idk how you got that right i'll be honest with you

this is exactly why when i write i have to stay away from atz content bc i went and watched the new wanteez eps today and i just cant write afterwards bc san is so fawking soft and precious how am i supposed to write him as a fuckboy that breaks hearts??? at one point i was like 'damn i shouldve picked someone else as the fuckboy for starring role' and not HIM😭😭

about san fucking up, it will happen in act 8 and i cant say anything else without giving away spoilers but yes! san never promised her anything, yn is aware of it and she knows where the two of them stand deep down but she just doesnt want to accept it (spoiler: that will basically be what the next chapter is about). also keep in mind that the story doesnt end with the letter, there are a couple more chapters afterwards 😭

YUNHO. WAIT NOT TOO MUCH ON HIM?? thats still my man but i wasnt really going for that sort of energy but now re-reading the part about him, i could see why it might've came off like that 😭. basically, with yunho i was going for the type of guy that doesnt like spoilt girly girls who care about makeup, clothes and are shallow, that only dates girls who, by his standards, have some depth to them and are sorta not-like-other-girls but in a pinterest cottage core aesthetic way (kjsghdjfhkfdj??? idk if that makes sense but he likes sweet girls who he can bring back home to his parents basically. its pretty much what svoh yn was) and yet he would still sleep with starring role yn without a doubt 😭. he was inspired by many guys ive meet in college

yeosang's storyline...im kind of nervous about revealing it tbh, also mingi will be properly introduced in the next chapter! as something much more than just boyoung's friend.

thank you so much for this message, i always look forward to yours in particular and theyre so fun to read. i really appreciate them. i hope you have a good day 💝

Thanks for the tag @lelephantsnail 💕

Favorite Color: peacock blue/midnight blue

Currently Reading: The Black Swan by Naseem Taleb. This is so unlike anything I’ve read. loving it so far. Padmarag by Rokeya Sakhawat Hossain. I hope I finish them.

Last Song: Dil Se Re by Rahman, Anupama and Anuradha. and Fanaa (Rahman, Tanvi, Sunitha). His concert reawakened my love for this song (actually all of his music, I had forgotten how much I loved it).

Last Series: I finished a Little Women rewatch (in love) and finally started Spy x Family. I love it! it's already starting to deliver the found family, I'm gonna be obsessed. Also watching Gaus electronics on the side. It’s pure chaos and zero brain cells in sight. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did.

Last Movie: Nope. I need to rewatch this masterpiece.

Currently working on: just my portfolio. messing this one up big time if I dont stop procrastinating

share 10 different favourite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order, then tag 10 people: I'm doing 11 because I can't pick one from little women. I'm also quoting them (not necessarily their best lines, just the ones that come to my mind first) bc why not💕

1. Oh In-Joo (Little Women):

"Where do souls live? I always wanted a home where my soul could live." I can’t stop thinking about her characterization and development. They managed to keep Meg’s tenderness from the novel but added so much more. and they fit all of that with a surreal plot and significant commentary on capitalism and poverty. I love that they weaved in so much (and did it well).

2. Oh In-Kyung (Little Women):

"They're so fresh. They're fresh to the point that it's almost sexy". Fresh produce is…weirdly sexy. She gets it. Therefore, she is my favourite. Her layers make her feel so real, a part of the reason why I’m so obsessed w this show. Modern adaptations of classics are hard to get right, and I feel like this one treads those lines well. it is fresh (a full genre shift) but still manages to keep the essence.

3. Black (Not Me):

"Power is corrupting. Ideas are what have the power to transform society" My plot device of a man🥹🥹 Certainly deserved better. I could watch him wreck shit for days.

4. Dazai (Bungo Stray Dogs):

"No one can fully grasp another person's deepest emotions. It's impossible. Only you can understand what you're feeling. But generally speaking, I can tell you this. Most people tend to cry when their father dies." Can’t help but hate him. Can’t help but project onto him. He has fucked up a lot. and he will continue to do so. It is entertaining to watch, but sometimes he deserves a slap across the face (or several idk). Other times, a hug.

5. Wang (180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us):

"I will break free. Time is on my side, so I've decided to leave. But leaving doesn't mean I lost." I’m so proud of him. In a story where people struggled to change, he proved that it was still possible. His sheer will to gain something out of the heartbreaking experience he had, and to keep going despite being so lonely, so unheard. But also, the maturity to know which fights to pick. There’s so much to learn from him.

6. Togawa (Old Fashion Cupcake):

"I'm seducing you. I've been trying to seduce you, with everything I have. Although you never had a clue. I know...being seduced by someone of the same sex, isn't considered common sense for most people. Especially from a subordinate. But unfortunately, it's common sense to me. So I've been seducing you. I've been meaning to tell you this whole time, but I was afraid. I was scared of saying something that wasn't normal to you. But doing this...and telling you in such a horrible way... I'm so sorry. I like you. I like you so much, I could die." I couldn't have justified picking anything else.

7. Ink (Bad Buddy):

"It's so gainful" The icon that she is. gmm, get your ass up and give us a milklove GL 2023.

8. Anya (Spy x Family):

"Father is a tsundere." I've only had her for two episodes but if anything happened to her I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

9. Fleabag (Fleabag):

"I don’t know what to do with it. With all the love I have for her. I don't know where to put it now." I will always treasure fleabag.

10. Baek Hee-Sung (Flower of Evil):

"We’ve only known each other for 14 years. So of course, you’d be clueless of my intentions." Thinking about him leaves an ache in my chest. Mr. I've-never-felt-an-emotion really broke down on the streets after reuniting with his 4 yo daughter and then got called out by her for it. "Daddy, don't cry like before if you miss me, okay? You're a grown-up". So,, misunderstood.

11. Han Ju-Won (Beyond Evil):

"I'll be a monster and dive into hell. That is my way of atoning" He's on this list bc I miss his ass and this show.

Special mention to Choi Doil and Great Aunt (Little Women) bc they haven't left my mind. and Nozue (babe, togawa was only here bc of that iconic confession, i love you just as much) and Miw from 3 will be free💕 This was so much fun, thanks for tagging me @lelephantsnail <33 Also, I’m so happy to see that you’ve watched 180 degrees, and wanted to shred it to bits with analysis because that show absolutely deserves it. so much to dig into and have your heart wrecked. Feel free to yell at me about it any time.

Have a great day!💕