#and i was like so true therapy bestie | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thisismeracing · 2 months

Text

Your time | LH44

― Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x singer!reader ― Warnings: mentions of cheating; lots of rumors about lewis being an a*hole; mentions of juliana nalu and shakira, but all fictional. ― Summary: A couple months after the biggest breakup in the F1 paddock, your song gets leaked and the internet uproars about your relationship again. This time they have more ammunition than ever to feed the narrative that Lewis Hamilton cheated on you. Are they right though? (based on this request).

▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

September, 2023

paddockgossip

liked by ynfan, haileybieber, and others

paddockgossip how would you guys feel if your man goes out with another singer and looks this cozy while you’re out there on tour working your ass off? 👀

view all comments

sunshineyn you know shits real when her friend hailey likes the post…

⤷ pinterestyln I thought the same

leclercnation you guys forgot to add that yn and shakira aren’t friends, were never seem together, couldnt bother to talk about one another, yet this is the second time we see her around lewis this week…

randuser @ yourusername bestie come get your man!

schumakatchau this looks oddly like a double date

raintyres GUYS HIS HAND PLACEMENT!!! HES HOLDING SHAKIRAS WAIST 😭😭😭😭

tomdayastan my girl Yn doesn’t deserve this

evansnature are you guys really that surprised? He’s a man, I expect anything from a man

January, 2024

February, 2024

f1wagsupdate

liked by pierregasly, mbappeworld, and others

f1wagsupdate According to our sources Yn Yln and Lewis Hamilton broke up ealier this month. There is not an official reason yet, but most fans believe that cheating was the cause of the downfall of the four-years-long relationship.

view all comments

user44 is true love even real?

gomezracing I hate it in here

drugobitch what if its because of the cheating rumors?

⤷ rand32 but why would she wait weeks after it?

likedbypgasly and so it goes the best wag of the paddock :(

mclarenmason did you guys see that thread someone made about Yn's looks on the paddock and her cheering for lew, and them matching sometimes *sobs into my hands*

yourusername

liked by roscoelovescoco, k.mbappe, and others

yourusername making music and enjoying some free time after touring 💞

view all comments

mbappeworld I wish Lewis and Kyllian weren’t friends bc I kinda ship him with Yn 😭

hailyebieber 😍😍😍😍

sza waiting for our collabbbbb! ❤️

⤷ ynfan the day these two write a song together is the day I’ll be stuck in my room crying for a week straight

ynnation She looks so relaxed, more than when she was with Lewis

hardtyres_ I wish I could be like this after being cheated on, when my ex did this to me I had to go to therapy for at least a year before going back on social media

⤷ agoradoja there’s no proof he cheated on her

⤷ winteryln sure, except for the hundreds of pics of him with singers and models 😍 but y’all taking it too serious, he was just friendly with them

⤷ agoradoja maybe he was just friendly, Lewis is famous, dare I say even more than Yn, so being friends with different famous people is part of his life.

⤷ bonoschumi I’ll have to agree with agoradoja, there’s nothing too incriminatinf, maybe we’re just trying to find a reason because we don’t accept that they fell out of love

⤷ leclercmcqueen she literally wrote “its just us against the world” for him, wdym they fell out of love????

bieberfantasy yeah but how about roscoe liking the post????? It's making me hopeful

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi! I hope you guys liked this piece! It was kinda short, but hopefully worth the reading :D let me know your thoughts!

If you liked this piece and want early access to new ones and exclusive access to others, subscribe to my patreon!💘

▸ check my main masterlist | patreon guide and my taglist.

taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @leclercsluv @graciewrote @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch @barcelonaloverf1life @noncannonships @fanboyluvr @is-just-a @love4lando @woozarts @namgification @formulaal @v1naco @skepvids @khaylin27 @bernelflo @fakehappy27

©thisismeracing ― do not copy, steal, or translate my work; do not repost on a different media platform.

― Reminder: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

417 notes · View notes

digitalgirlguide · 3 months

Text

Beyond Bubble Baths: A Realistic Guide to Wellness, Hygiene Hacks, Energy Cleansing, and the Art of Setting Healthy Boundaries

self-care as we know it has been reduced to retail therapy and splurging on skincare and the the essence of true well-being often gets lost in the noise of buying stuff.

you're not alone, i'm guilty of this too.if i'm sad i buy thing. i'm happy? i buy things.

and not saying that self care can't be buying yourself things because you feel like it but that's not a true reflection of self care.

self-care is a disciplined commitment to becoming the best version of yourself while tuning into your body's needs.

so what does realistic self care look like?

Take a few minutes each morning to set intentions for the day ahead.

practice gratitude by writing 3 things you're grateful for or using some of these prompts:

What are three things you are thankful for as you start your day? Consider the small details that often go unnoticed.

Recall a specific moment from today that brought a smile to your face or warmed your heart. Describe it in detail and express gratitude for that experience.

Think about any unexpected surprises or acts of kindness that came your way. How did they make you feel, and why are you grateful for them?

Before your next meal, reflect on the journey of your food from its source to your plate. Express gratitude for the nourishment it provides your body.

Organizing your day/week:

Plan with Purpose: Start your week with a glance at your calendar or planner. Note any upcoming deadlines, appointments, or social events. (A little prep goes a long way!)

Prioritize with Intent: Identify your top priorities for the week and break them down into manageable tasks. Tackling the most crucial items first ensures a sense of accomplishment. (Check off those big to-dos, and watch the momentum build!)

Time Blocking: Allocate specific time blocks for various activities. This technique helps maintain focus and prevents the day from slipping away in a blur. (Time blocking = your new productivity bestie.)

Flexibility is Key: While planning is essential, leave room for flexibility. Life throws curveballs, and being adaptable ensures you can navigate unexpected changes with grace. (Embrace the spontaneity – it's the spice of life!)

Self-Care Slots: Intentionally carve out moments for self-care throughout the week. Whether it's a short walk, a cozy reading break, or a meditation session, these are non-negotiable appointments with yourself. (Because self-love is a crucial part of productivity.)

Schedule regular social activities to stay connected: Meaningful connections are the backbone of a healthy support system. (Humans need socialization – it's science!)

Hygiene tips for mind and body

Begin your day with a cleansing ritual that extends beyond the physical. Consider practices like meditation (Remember, a cluttered mind can be just as burdensome as a cluttered space.)

Incorporate energy cleansing techniques into your routine, such as using crystals (clear quartz, black tourmaline, amethyst, rose quartz, selenite) to clear negative energy from your surroundings. (Just as we dust and declutter our physical spaces, it's important to cleanse the energetic residue that accumulates throughout our day-to-day lives.)

Recognize the importance of setting boundaries and restricting access to yourself when necessary. (You're not obligated to be constantly available to others, and it's okay to prioritize your own needs and well-being.) Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, who make you feel good and encourage you to be your best self. (Life is too short to waste time on relationships that drain your energy and diminish your spirit.)

Embrace a straightforward yet consistent skincare routine. Cleanse, moisturize, and shield your skin from the sun – simplicity meets effectiveness.

Practice regular handwashing to ward off germs, especially before meals and after restroom visits. (Your hands will thank you, and so will your immune system.)

Simple ways to show up for yourself everyday

Practice self-compassion and forgiveness, recognizing that perfection is an illusion and mistakes are opportunities for growth. (We're all human, and it's okay to stumble along the way.)

Listen to your body's signals and honor its needs, whether that means nourishing yourself with wholesome food, getting regular exercise, or allowing yourself time to rest and recharge. (Your body is your greatest ally and deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.)

Embrace moments of joy and playfulness, indulging in activities that bring you laughter and delight. (Life is meant to be savored, not endured.)

let's reshape the narrative of self-care into a journey of discipline, mindfulness, and attunement to our inner voices.

138 notes · View notes

bronx-bomber87 · 3 months

Text

Good evening Fandom :) Gonna try and be more concise and mini this time haha Wasn’t so mini last time. Imma really try LOL Also the gif library just refuses to pull anything that's new and its driving me nuts. Guess all the pretty gifs will have to wait till summer when the library gets it's act together and I can be more in depth. LOL This is supposed to mini anyways. I'll do my best to make this brief but impactful haha This is a new gear for me.

6x02 The Hammer

Their first interaction is fraught af. Tim is radiating hurt still not that I blame him. He is trying to sweep it under the rug but the man is hurting. I do love Lucy trying to let him know not how healthy communication works. heh She's not wrong. You know I was so Tim in this moment before therapy. Surprise surprise right?

Deeply hurt but when it gets brought up I shirked it off. Try to put it in a box and bury it. Lucy is right it’s not healthy. But he isn’t in the place to receive that right now. I do love her saying they have stuff to talk about if she ever goes under. Yes.... yes you do. Lucy seems to have calmed down at this point and Tim isn’t there yet…

Credit to This post for this image

Lucy getting roped into the ring thing LOL Their tension is immediate as they sandwich Angela in their fight. Angela is the fandom as she watches them bicker. My goodness not hiding how they feel whatsoever….Tense af while they’re fighting. Could cut it with a knife. Sniping at each other. Tim saying he knew she wasn't really over it.

Which kills my 'calmed down' theory for Lucy haha Even though they're at odds Tim still offers his help because it's his girl. Lucy saying she will accept it even if she doesn’t need it. These two.. Angela's final words had me laughing. Wanting to come and enjoy their fight with popcorn. Tim saying she’s not funny on the way out hahaha Not in the mood for his bestie either.

Love Lucy reaching out to touch him and make a joke bout Hammer's real name. Tim full of sass asking if he can finish? Well I never Timothy. LOL He has a warrant out and it’s outstanding that'll make this easy.... Even worse he loves to fight cops. Oh boy. Ladies first lmfao oh Tim I love you so. Putting his hand on her back. She’s smiling though.

OMG I can’t believe Tim tried to get her to fight the Hammer. My love no.... Her argument is solid af that she has to look amazing. That no one cares what he looks like. I mean I care what he looks like but it’s true she needs to look hot at haha Tim caving because well it's Lucy. Like fighting the sun right now. heh Lucy telling him he’s got this. Oh my lord it's so cute.

Lucy wanting to jump in but Tim stops her. My heart. He’s getting his ass kicked at first oof. Tim launching off the bed to kick Hammer into the closet. Holy shit that was sexy. I hope this fight gets gif'd it was great. He wins though. Well done Tim that was fine as hell. Got my motor revving.

Oh my goodness him bending on one knee and looking at her. The looks are LOADED here. Especially on Lucy's end. Getting me all in my feels goodness. Especially Lucy’s face. Myriad of emotions going on there. Foreshadowing at it's finest Oh my. I have a feeling when do the summer review I'll have a novel on this. Tim passes the hell out shortly after. Getting asthma attack just looking at him.

Love the set up girls night/boys night and their talk bout their relationship. Celina asking Lucy to have less baking at her party HA! Naww love Celina thinking in those terms. Lucy saying that's way off. Seeming worried it’s not in their future. Heart clutch. Adore this back and forth between Lucy and Tim at the parties LOVING Chastity telling Lucy like it is. Calling her out really. Even she can see it. I mean feel like Lucy is scared and just won't back down from this path.

It's not just Tim. It's her too but she is digging her heels in. I can’t say I don’t agree with Tim on the projection. Lucy using Isabel as an excuse for that. I think she is using it more than he is IMO at this point in time. She usually is right on the money with Tim. This time doesn't feel like it. Almost as if she’s using Isabel as a scape goat for being scared more so than Tim. Lucy saying she’s fine. Lying liar my love lying liar.

Poor Tim wanting to show he’s not the problem my love. That he's not the only one. There is clearly still a lot to sort through for them. This scene is proof of that. Lucy gets a call from Tim to meet at the station. This has to be the lie detector test. Harper telling her to run I was dying.

Credit

How cute is Tim in his black shirt all wired up for her? I'm dying how precious it was. The way she crosses the room sweet lord. Eyeing her prey. She basically is straddling his thigh. Imma pass out. Getting as close as she can to him. Basically hugging his thigh with hers. I’m getting hot under the collar already. She is so ready to ask him anything but UC questions to start this off. Clearly wanting to ask him specific things on her mind since he's hooked up to the machine.

The bug question LMAO. The most Tim and Lucy thing ever. Of course that man doesn't release the bugs haha. Very her to ask him to do it though. God this was so cute I cannot. Small little insight to their relationship we don't usually get to see.

Then she went right after it with asking if he loves her? A question I think has been weighing on her mind for awhile. Knowing she can immediately see if he's lying. Gah look at him light up. The way he leans into her. Reminding of his posture in 5x09 when he asked her out again. Just as serious now as he was then. Saying he loves her ugh my heart. Our big softie in action in this moment.

Lucy couldn’t be happier with this answer. Same look she got whenever he complimented her in the past. They be beaming everyone. Then he get’s a big fact lie with the UC question crap. Now I feel this isn't fair. Because the man LIVES to support her but he is a struggle bus about this path. To me that 'lie' wasn't because he doesn't support her. To me just those damn demons that won't rest for him.

Credit

Tim looking fine af. Looking for his girl of courses sigh. Cool cool cool fun angsty glances. Damn you gif library was primo angsty looks. Even though they’re sitting next to each other it’s the most physical distance seen between them really in ever. Yeah their arms are touching but not much else. More angsty looks between them at the reception. Gah they’re intense as hell.

Credit

Tim coming to find her my heart. Being the one to break the distance. Asking her to dance and confronting this issue. So proud of him and what he tells her. What a man. He's owning the trauma he still carries. Which is HUGE for him. Lucy thanking him and saying they'll make it through. I love this. Always love us touching back on. 'Unless it is.' moment. Because yeah this is hard but they're worth it and they continually see that and show it.

Now do I love it squarely being just on Tim this UC Fight? No I don't. I do think she is still having doubts but love him laying it out there. I think the issue's Lucy is having just haven't been confronted yet. Their fight from 6x01 was about Tim's issues for most part. Her's were for sure in there just not as prominently. I'm hopeful we touch on her's later this season.

This still feel unresolved to me and imbalanced. Especially now that Tim has admitted some fault to their problems as of late. I feel like I have a really good grasp on these characters. To me my gut is telling me Lucy is scared, having doubts, worried about a long term assignment. What it'll mean for them. Her side of it still needs to be delved into. 5x20-5x21 shook her more than she is letting on. Truly think this just hasn't been explored yet. Because they both have things to resolve with this career choice.

Credit

Also wanna note in this lovely scene. Lucy has her hands all over her him and I’m about it my god. The intimate swaying and leaning into each other. That magnetic force of their's bringing them back together. Their bodies relaxing for the first time in this entire episode. Just happy to be near one another. They're glowing when they come back together in this moment.

Gah their chemistry is out of this world. Her hand on the back his head too phew lord and we get a return ILY. *heart clutch* Lucy's eyes searching his face hoping her saying as such soothes his wounds a little. The cute lie detector line I cannot. It’s was so precious. Their smiles have me on cloud 9. Couldn't be more in love if these two tried. *happy sigh*

Lucy and Tim leading the charge hot damn they pretty. Tim in formal wear and his badge? Lord help me. Phew this was a HEFTY one. So many things to sort through. Like I said in my OG post these are first thoughts. Should be interesting to see how they change come summer and we're in the hiatus.

Thank you to everyone who liked the premiere post. These are a different gear for me glad they're liked ha Imposter Syndrome is real ya'll lol Feel free to comment your thoughts I love chatting about them and this season best part of going through it together for first time. See you all next week!

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Lmao the cold open. Daddy cop was always a fav one of mine.

Hey Henry is back sorta. ha

Love Luna checking in on Aaron. Then having a little ptsd poor love.

Oscar is back too LOL

‘Miss Cleo' nickname LMAO

Poor Aaron having a rough time of it. I was worried he was leaning on Celina too much tbh. Also that kiss yikes my man yikes...

#Caitlin's Mini Reviews #chenford #s6 #6x02 The Hammer #the rookie 6x02 #otp: doing my job #otp: you know me so well. too well.#otp: some things matter more #otp: you did good #otp: you're nothing like him.#otp: unless it is #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #the rookie #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil

60 notes · View notes

narwhalandchill · 10 days

Text

spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol

like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?

like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao

like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀

like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk

like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable

like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao

like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀

Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you

AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .

(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)

like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.

but then theres teucer.

And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All

Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????

yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....

like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.

like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up

hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭

A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap

#tonia will call him a perfect brother and ppl take it at face value is so.#dude NOBODY in that fuckimg family is in the place to say jack shit abt whats healthy familial dynamics n whats not #now like. do i know that theyll most likely never Truly let ajax experience teucers righteous rage at the betrayal #and instead brush it off where hes like youre still my brother i love u #Yes. unfortunately. but god he doesnt fucking deserve any of that like he SHOULD lose teucer forever #teucer should go full scorched earth no contact the entire family like its r/relationship_advice addressing mild drama #and theyd all deserve it. even as i understand Why they did this.and sympathize with it .#this is why he and the narwhal deserve each other btw hes just kimda fucking terrible sometimes #yes i had to make this about them too #genshin #rambles #childeposting

53 notes · View notes

whosmaxfr · 1 year

Text

Scar: So grian! how was your high school? :D

Grian: So, i legally cannot talk about majority of my high school experience, but ur lucky because i dont care about the law-

----------

Grian: bros be asking for high school wild stories but tell me to go to therapy when i tell them we buried people in the back of our school

Taurtis: Bros be asking for highschool but get horrified when i tell them i got stabbed by my bestie

Sam: bros be asking where are my my bitches but get awkward when i tell them my last bitch killed herself and i was there

Dom: bros be like "lets hang out in your house" bro what house i live in a dumpster

--------------

Grian: School just told me "We will call your parents" well damn pass me the phone too i wanna meet them

--------------

Taurtis: We dont need to do the dishes bro all we eat is chips and pocky

---------------

This may be ooc its true but who cares

#yhs grian #yhs #yhs taurtis #yhs sam #yandere high school

362 notes · View notes

ghostedcas · 10 months

Text

riley family hcs:

tw: mentions of post-partum depression and psychosis, mentions of self harm, mentions of death/dying/suicide (no actual death though, everyone is alive!!), allusions to ghost's trauma

- matthew is a big batman enjoyer just like his dad, simon got him matching batman stuff all the time growing up

- matthew is also a big softie, big guy like his dad but is just an absolute softie (biggest animal lover fr)

- lyla's first word was tea because simon asks for tea so much when he's home she picked it up from him

- luka's first word was pineapple and it to this day baffles you and simon

- bug and matthew will never admit it's because they trained him to do it

- 90% of what simon drinks when he is home is tea

- he probably asks for tea at least once an hour

- "baby can you make me some tea?"

- "love, are you making tea? can you make me some too?"

- "do you want to have some tea?"

- "oh, while you're up can you grab me a cuppa?"

- atp just keep the kettle on 24/7 when he's home

- bug kept their middle name, it's joeseph <3

- true to their name, bug used to bring all assortments of bugs home with them as a kid

- literally just pulled a mf earth worm out of his pocket one night at dinner when he was 8

- simon and matthew freaked out

- "ew! why did bring that to the table?!"

- "bug you're gonna make me sick, please get that thing away from our dinner..."

- "matthew! simon! be nice!"

- lyla is a big daddy's girl, luka is a mommy's boy

- idk if i mentioned it before but bug uses they/he pronouns (will use she/her to spite people, only ever to spite people)

- matthew has beat up transphobes at school for bug (and would gladly do it again)

- soap tried so hard to convince simon to name a kid after him

- closest he got was matthew's middle name being john (he'll take the win)

- lyla's middle name is valerie (for the sole reason that mummy likes the song valerie a little too much, it kinda pisses simon off because it's so close to valeria but he lives with it and learns to love it every time he sees his lover dancing around the kitchen to the song)

- luka legally doesn't have a middle name, it's supposed to be spencer

- simon may or may not have forgotten to write it down on the certificate

- he was emotional, okay?

- at least he remembered to put his name there at all??

-he misspelled riley by accident the first time and scribbled it out

- when soap found out he refused to let him live it down and reminds him of it every opportunity he gets

- only for simon to remind him of the time bug shoved a snail down soap's throat when he was a child and soap actually ate it so he wouldn't hurt bug's feelings

- shell and all

- soap shuts up quickly after that

- uncle soap <3

- some sad ones comin your way besties

- simon wasnt exactly a good dad for the first couple years of matthew and bugs lives

- you were both young and he was still very unhealed from his (continuously growing) trauma

- a lot of fights were had

- a lot of simon just leaving in the middle of the night out of nowhere

- it took one really bad fight where you completely broke down in front of him for him to realize that he had to get his shit together

- family therapy appointment was booked the next day for as soon as possible

- truthfully he didn't think it would help, he's always been a big therapy hater

- but to his surprise it helped a lot, of course it still took some time and a lot of hard work but he did eventually grow to become a much better father and partner

- luckily by the time matthew and bug were in their most formative years is when simon had become a bit more stable and a better dad

- of course they still had to go through his deployments and the trauma of not knowing if their dad would come home, but they never ever experienced trauma at the hands of simon

- simon actually suffered PPD and PPP alongside you after you had the kids

- neither of you developed PPP until the twins though

- it was a very big struggle for both of you

- there was a short period of time where you actually had your parents take the kids because neither of you trusted yourselves alone with them

- his lasted much shorter than yours did though

- there was a period of time where you were still suffering both PPD and PPP while simon was deployed and it ended up with you and matthew in the hospital

- you hadn't intended to hurt him, he just happened to get in the way of you hurting yourself and you accidentally hurt him as well

- simon didn't find out until he came home from deployment and saw that you weren't alone at home with the kids but instead had hired a nanny who was trained for situations like this

- he felt awful that he couldn't be there for you when you needed someone so badly

- he could've lost you and he wouldn't have known until he came home

- but he didn't

- anyyywaaaayyyys, back to the happy stuff :3

- bug watches markiplier

- matthew watches buzzfeed unsolved (loves watching it with uncle soap<3)

- sleepovers at uncle soap's when he's off of deployment 🥰

- matthew had a habit of bringing random strays into the house from the ages of 6-10

- or even just random wild animals he somehow befriended

- get home from work and he's just sitting there on the couch with a raccoon in his hands

- you just stand there like ????

- "matthew, please get that thing out of my house..."

- "but why? it's nice mummy."

- "i know you think so honey, but it's really not. it's probably very dirty and wants to be left alone. they live outside for a reason, right bud? if they wanted to be in homes, they would be."

- "fine... five more minutes?"

- "two, no more, no less. and that include your saying goodbye time."

- "fine."

#ghostedcas #casper writes #ghostedcas: ghost #ghostedcas: riley family ocs #ghostedcas: bug riley #ghostedcas: matthew riley #ghostedcas: lyla riley #ghostedcas: luka riley #simon ghost riley x oc #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley fluff #simon ghost riley angst #simon ghost riley headcanons

66 notes · View notes

an0nfr0mth3d3n · 5 months

Note

tbf last time he denied q!Bad a flower because it looked like he was better, q!Bad jumped into a campfire xD

though also he does have the power to ignore q! Bad's dramatics and stop giving him flowers but he's choosing not to .....

So true bestie. I mean, I guess you aren’t really “all better now” if you are throwing yourself into fire for a flower, so I guess that proves he still…needs the flowers?

It’s a cute ritual at this point, just a silly cute ritual and I’m sure offering repeated and daily sacrifices to your local friendly neighborhood demon who has a thing for you won’t mean anything in the future. (It probably won’t I’m just being silly)

God they are so weird with each other. So Weird. I support the thought that any good ship with Bbh has to be fucked up in nature and dynamic (including akephalo that one is psycho4psycho) and forever is sooooooooo fuuuucked uuuupppp. And in ways that like, I’m not sure have been explored yet. Like, tell me more about why you think electrocution shock therapy can cure depression, or caging your friends for little evidence is beneficial, I need to see how your mind workS.

Whoops sorry for the spiral. Anyways you are so correct anon.

#asks #4halo #they should get weirder

42 notes · View notes

teemnutress · 5 months

Text

ok so headcanons because i love the little family dynamic the team has going on and want to see more of it:

pyro:

• has a little pouch of stickers that they just pop open and use to decorate things

• sometimes will just stare and tilt their head when someone is talking to them because they're interested but is usually seen as threatening :(

• occasionally very aware of what they are doing but simply doesn't care

demo:

• moments of clarity while blackout drunk that's just,,, philosophical and aimed to hit deep at people that then ends with him promptly passing out

• keeps a secret compartment in the kitchen full of alcohol. the entire team knows its there but doesn't dare to tell him

• invites nessie for team dinners sometimes and has to be the one keeping her from killing soldier once he mentions scotland

medic:

• talks to the corpses he keeps in his miniature morgue. uses them as therapy dolls. sometimes puppets them to have them respond

• views archimedes as worth more than scout

• has swindled a demon out of the demon's soul once

heavy:

• not only treats his guns like real women, but takes them on mock dates too for fun. usually conscripts scout to help because scout finds it funny

• the favorite to heal on the field by medic due to the fact his pain tolerance allows medic to see just how much punishment his daddy coworker can take. he knows this and does not care so long as he can stay near medic

• has used scout as a projectile before. just picked him up and thrown him by his ankles. didn't work but it was fun

scout:

• plays pranks on the rest of the team and is rewarded with being regularly beat within an inch of his life

• besties with pyro because they're both outcasts on the team

• sees heavy as a father figure but won't tell a soul about it

spy:

• genuinely cares for scout (canon) but will go as far as to slip little gifts and acts of kindness for him that scout will never know was him

• sometimes hangs out in engineer's room as he considers him the only other true intellectual

• genuinely horrified by medic

soldier:

• so utterly insane he doesn't even know his teammates are his teammates sometimes; regularly beats the shit out of scout

• has given all of his rocket launchers names. all of them are named "cupcake"

• downright facial contortionist; makes faces you would never think possible

sniper:

• just chronically depressed. medic is his anti-d hookup and engineer is his therapist.

• gets spy to throw his disguise masks like clay pigeons for target practice, specifically for rocket jumping soldiers

• sometimes just crashes on the common room's couch instead of his camper van because he feels like it

engineer:

• has a framed photo of the whole team in his workshop. he genuinely loves them

• has worked with medic to try and make a franken-android using sentry pieces and corpse parts. is currently buried 20 feet under engie's workshop

• is the only nice one to pyro other than scout; makes them custom stickers

#team fortress 2 #the medic #the heavy #the engineer #the soldier #the demoman #the scout #the pyro #tf2 pyro #the sniper #the spy #tf2 spy #tf2 medic

20 notes · View notes

scoonsalicious · 1 month

Note

I freaking love the debrief and discussions and yes the heated confessions after your posts 🫶🏻

But can I just say, no matter how much I absolutely despise and hate Bucky, I don’t want her with Steve. By all means, I am not a constant Steve hater, but in this universe? He’s an ick. He gives me the ick. And no, it’s not really a revenge if pocket sleeps with him. It’s just them giving Bucky more reason to have had sex with that little Jar because his “insecurities and suspicions” are true, and more reason to fuck with her again bc he’s “broken and devastated” so no.

Also, the flying fuck audacity of Bucky to say she wasn’t supposed to see it? He’s fucking insecure abt Pocket but he does this shit. But instead of addressing it, what, he just hopes no one ever finds out and let Pocket live in false sense of bliss? What, does he plan on fucking Jamboree again? Whatever pocket said in that chapter, so fucking true. He wants honesty but gives none. He thinks she’s fucking other people but she’s not, he did. It’s really projection. Kinda like where cheaters are afraid their partners are cheating typa shit. And he also had the guts to promise again? Man you’re delusional if you think she would believe u again.

Your insecurities and hurting does not justify nor is enough reason for you to betray someone you so called love like that. I mean fuck not once but TWICE the person you were supposed to not interact with. You were supposed to block. And NOT TEXT HER BACK BC YALL WERE FUCKING? THEN LYING ABT IT THEN FUCKING HER KNOWINH WHAT U DID BEFORE???? Ew. Just no. I don’t see myself coming back to that. I think therapy would make me see my fucking worth. Pocket should too. Imagine you’re worrying while the guy you’re worrying abt is having the time of his life fucking the girl he told u not to worry about. Im sure he didn’t stop to think abt pocket all those times huh. Even for a second. If he did, he should’ve felt disgusted. So no. Never did pocket ever cross his mind. While he was all she could think abt. I would feel disgusted with myself if I ever do comeback to an overused filthy dick. I don’t deserve that, never will. He CHOSE her over you. He CHOSE to fuck her instead of communicating with you. So no. I’d rather not be with him. Yes, painful, but let’s be fr now. She would be stupid if she falls for his bullshit again.

If therapy and healing does something for her, it should be her realizing and accepting that this kind of Bucky is not for her. She deserves a mature partner that can communicate instead of fucking his apparent girl best friend who he thinks is so entwined, in tune, and alike to him. Might as well just make Jade his girl. Bc she can comfort him, right? Bc even if Bucky does improve himself, you can’t tell me the insecurity and the nagging at the back of your mind that he could deffo do it again anytime and anywhere is there. Their relationship would always be for her, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The trust is ultimately broken. Like a plate shattered and put back together. Cracks are evident and the relationship will never be the same. Maybe it’s my trust issues acting up, but I could never trust someone like that again after these types of betrayal.

Nonetheless, I hope Bucky lives in a pool of regret, despair, pain, and guilt forever. Bathe in it everyday, drown in it. I don’t care what state of mind he was in. He deserves every ounce of pain as much as Pocket did not.

Oh, bestie. Just wait and see!

12 notes · View notes

inkandarsenic · 7 days

Text

My thoughts on the new episodes:

- love the info dumping right off the bat therapy really did wonders for 15

- “Most of the universe is knackered, babes” ok 1) 15, i love you so much, and 2) why do I get the feeling that the reason most of it is knackered is because of you, bestie?

- “Why did I run?” That’s what you do babe. It’s like your whole thing. please don’t ask dumb questions

- ruby reminds me so much of rose and it is 1000% because of the way that Space Babies parallels End of the World so hard

- Ok so getting the feeling that it’s less “the therapy worked wonders” and more “we’re pretending that it worked wonders” because a lot of this conversation is feeling like 15 is masking his true feelings

- space babies crack me up, the cgi to move their mouths was weird and the babies themselves looked so confused to be there at all times it was great

- Ngl him scaring them more than once and then laughing a little feels very on brand for the doctor

- Ruby continues to confuse me, who are you Ruby Sunday, I want answers. very excited to see where this story arc is going

- QUEEN CHARLOTTE????

- societal parallels punching me in the face I love it this show is so back

- Ok saying you’re an ugly bug is a lot less effective when you’re Ncuti Gatwa and your past incarnations have always been attractive

- Eric the perpetually confused looking baby I love you

- this monster is very much reminding me of the sleep-sand monsters from that one twelveclara episode, sleep no more

- 15 babes I swear to god throwing yourself into open airlocks because you’re relating too hard to the monster of the week better not become your thing

- love him telling ruby “no going to meet your mom” immediately like babes does not want a repeat of the Father’s Day disaster with rose

- THE SCAN OF RUBY??? some things truly never fucking change

- ngl i feel like playing the banned chord that invites the devil in is a Bad Idea

- MR TIMOTHY DRAKE??? THEY REALLY NAMED THIS MAN TIMOTHY DRAKE AND CALLED HIM A GENIUS AND THEN KILLED HIM I CANNOT

- the maestro is terrifying. why are they making eye contact with me I don’t like that

- oh wow the first time the theme song has ever made me uncomfortable

- I love that 15 looks physically pained by the music that’s being played

- the notes that Paul says and the theme that plays? Reminds me of the piano notes at the end of the Doctor’s theme from way back in series 1 with Nine, sounds very similar

- oh Ruby you sweet summer child you haven’t been traveling long enough to recognize that tone

- here’s a thought: do you think maybe the Doctor is one of these celestial pantheon beings? That they would have been like the Toymaker and the Maestro if they hadn’t been abandoned in this universe?

- I’m really starting to hate 14 for inviting the Toymaker into the universe again. He just had to invoke superstition at the edge of the universe.

- ah yes the age old tradition of breaking the TARDIS

- the doctor hearing non-diegetic music has many implications I refuse to think about right now

- RTD never fails to have unsettling villains

- so Ruby seems to be the new impossible girl, which is appropriate because she looks so much like Clara

- also WHO WAS THERE I JUST WANT TO KNOW

- “the one who waits is almost here” what does that mean. we’ve met the embodiment of play and now music, who else are we going to meet?

- musical number at the end feels so Disney

- also did anyone else notice that the Harbinger kid was back at the end? Does anyone else think that’s going to come up again?

I love that we’re diving into and learning more about the Toymaker and his whole pantheon of celestial beings but do you know what this would be an absolutely perfect point to reintroduce?

THE SATAN PIT AND ALL OF THE QUESTIONS IT DID NOT ANSWER

I’m gonna link the post where I rant about it here but please someone say they agree with me

#the satan pit #it makes me insane #doctor who #frequently losing my mind over this episode #and you know what #the most recent episode of doctor who would have been a perfect place to call back to it #the devil’s chord #the maestro #the toymaker #the beast #THEY ALL FIT TOGETHER INTO THE SAME CATEGORY #AND I WILL NEVER STOP BRINGJNG THIS UP #RTD I AM IN YOUR HIUSE J AM IN YOUR WALLS #all in all #i love this season so much #I love the 180 in tone from space babies to devils chord #I love 15

10 notes · View notes

anonymous-tals · 11 months

Text

I wrote some of this in another post but I just wanted to expand on it since I think it’s an interesting subject.

(Also, just putting this upfront, I feel the necessity of clarifying, obviously, bisexual is it’s own identity, it isn’t just a pit stop on the way to someone realizing they’re gay, I’m just talking about trying to figure out who you like or perhaps don’t like being a part of figuring out your sexuality)

The Buster saying Gob might be bisexual moment has been commonly viewed as definitive but personally, I don’t think it was meant to be an answer to the question of Gob’s sexuality. I think it was answering a different question by being one half of an entirely new question. Before, it was “Is he gay or straight?”, the straight option ruling out Gob loving Tony in a gay-umbrella-term way. Just friends. Besties, even. Just a couple of dudes…But we know that’s not true. They are not just a couple of dudes. They are dudes who want to be a couple. So by rewriting it to make it “Is he gay or bisexual?”, that answers “Is Gob’s love for Tony real and very gay-umbrella-term?” with a yes, yes it is. But now, there is a new question that’s been proposed: is he attracted to men and women or just men?

I’m inclined to believe it’s just men.

(I’m not gonna go super in depth cause this has already been discussed so much and I don’t want to be redundant but there are certain elements I haven’t seen discussed that I’ve personally thought about so that’s what this is for)

Gob really does not come across like a bisexual character to me. If he was written as bisexual, I feel like that would’ve been shown more, ya know(for those who know the character, I’m thinking of how they wrote Daryl in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)? It would’ve a question of “Why do I find both groups attractive?” rather than “Why can’t I find one of these groups attractive?” I mean, the writers know the term bisexual and if that was the intention, why would they include how he hasn’t slept with a women since Tony and all the scenarios in which he’s uncomfortable with and avoiding being with women? And it’s not just that Joni is older and has weird fake boobs or that Kitty is repulsive to him. The woman at the conversion therapy place is very conventionally attractive and still, even though he genuinely tries to be all charming and flirt, he can’t get himself to commit and promptly walks away, very uncomfortable and disinterested(but that ‘t’ necklace she’s wearing does remind him of a certain someone he is attracted to). And it’s not like it’s a being dedicated to Tony so much that he can’t make comments about other people or find others attractive, either. He calls one of the closet guys cute, someone pointed out how he checks out Adhir at one point. The guy foxes thing, even. But again, when it comes to women, whenever he tries anything, he gets uncomfortable and/or leaves or tries to leave the situation. I mean, he can at times hardly even lie about sleeping with and being attracted to women. And it’s not just season five: when you look at all his relationships with women throughout the whole show, it’s night and day compared to how he acts with Tony. And Tony’s not the first partner he’s had that believes in him and is supportive of and nice to him. The difference is that he’s a man.

Another thing, I’ve seen the closet scene, the fact that they were gonna be going in and out of closets, viewed as, like, a metaphor for Gob being bi but the thing is, we literally see that Gob gets out of the gay closet and can’t get back into the straight closet no matter how much he tries, which echoes his arc in the show and is emblematic of what I’ve already mentioned throughout this. Ever since Gob developed feelings for Tony and they had sex and he had this realization, he’s been trying desperately to force himself to be straight or, hell, just like women at all, but it never works because he is gay.

*And frankly, I interpreted Buster saying that Gob might be bisexual as him just coming to the conclusion that Gob is bi based on what Gob told him. I have to believe that Buster knew to some extent that Gob liked guys. I mean, he saw him around Tony during the Sword of Destiny stuff. He saw how Gob talked to Tony and about Tony. Plus, Buster's the only one who ever truly payed attention to him, like, actually listened, so I'm sure he noticed other things too and Michael literally shouted, "I knew it!" so I feel like it's realistic to believe this wasn't exactly a well kept secret. And in season five, when Gob is talking to Buster about how he's gonna turn himself back to being straight because he's not to gay but, ya know, it's obvious to Buster that Gob is definitely not straight, in Buster’s mind, perhaps what's confusing his older brother, who seems to be identifying with both straight and gay, is that he likes both men and women. I mean, from Buster's perspective, that would make sense, especially given the lifetime of bragging about sleeping with women that Gob has done. But we have information and insight that he doesn’t and when you look at the show as a whole, the situation doesn’t read as Gob being confused because he likes both men and women and thinks he has to choose, it reads as Gob in a last ditch effort to convince himself he’s not gay and likes women.

I’m pretty sure at the time, there was a possibility of another season or a movie or something and I’m sure this would’ve been delved into more there. Because of the whole “the feeling was friendship” thing, a lot of people did not get that they were actually in love(including me, I’m very oblivious and gullible) and I think a lot of this season was spent making sure that was clear, that they did really love each other and not as just friends. They even in their ending scene together, say that they can’t be friends, which someone else(I can’t remember who but credit to whoever it was) pointed out that it seemed like a subtle way for the writers to show that they aren’t just friends, they’re doing gay stuff together cause they like dudes. But even without a following season or movie, I think we already have sufficient information spanning the entirety of the show that answers whether Gob is gay or bisexual and in my opinion, Gob is gay.

And of course, if you think he’s bi, hell yeah, that’s cool, you do you. This isn’t meant to stomp all over your hc. These are just my thoughts on this subject.

Edit:

*Just thought I should add this since my interpretation of this specific scene has changed after @theflannelwizard pointed this out(this was a bit ago now but I hadn’t thought to add it until now). My conclusion is still the same, I just feel the need to amend this specific part:

Really, I don’t know how I didn’t, like, think about this until it was pointed out to me, it’s so obvious now that that was the joke.

Also just another addition, cause I somehow completely forgot about this when I wrote this, there were the, like, two weeks(? whatever the span of time was) where him and his dad went all across Mexico with the specific intention of getting with women and Gob couldn’t get himself to do anything with a single woman and was struggling to even feign interest.

And then another thing with Gob finding other dudes attractive, on top of the other stuff I mentioned, he also calls up the Hot Cops at one point to schedule them to come over. So again, it’s not like he’s so dedicated to Tony that it’s impossible for him to find others attractive and express that. With men, he’s comfortable doing that, but with women, he is not.

#take a drink every time i say the word question in that first paragraph oy vey #another day another arrested development essay written #gob bluth #will arnett #tony wonder #ben stiller #blunder #arrested development #gob is gay #also not relevant to this point but tony is bisexual #i think there’s probably good arguments for tony on both the gay train and the bi train #but idk #i just like the bisexual tony hc

52 notes · View notes

startingfires · 5 months

Note

you're actually a huge inspiration to me hdhjghghjh. like I think of you as an example that things will be okay idk how to explain it like you've been through so much shit and you still have the warmest sunniest vibes yk? i think of you as my cool baddie internet older sister who used to have social anxiety as bad as me and also grew up on the internet but moved to a whole ass other continent to study something she didn't even like and still figured it out and finds so much joy in everything?? and I admire that so much you're my adulting role model tbh and also especially when it comes to social stuff because i feel like you're so chill about that (in a way that is actually realistic for someone like me because i will never relate to people who have only ever lived in one place their whole life and have never struggled with social anxiety and have their best friends where they live) and i aspire to get there. anyway love you bestie 💛

hello??????? kavya it's too early to make me cry 😭

this is the sweetest and loveliest message 🥺 i can't even begin to express how much this means to me.

the fact that you view me like that is so mind boggling to me. not to get deep and sappy on main but you opened the floodgates so now you must deal with the consequences.

i never viewed myself as someone who has "warm and sunny vibes" or who "finds joy in everything". that was definitely not me for a long long time. i never thought that that was someone i was able to be.

i was extremely sad, anxious, stressed, self-loathing and depressed for a very long time. i did not think i would ever be able to be where i am now. we met at the end of that phase of my life. i suppose things got better after i finished high school, then a bit better after i moved, then a bit better after meeting certain people and then a bit better after leaving physics behind (with therapy and medication being a big help through it all). i'm saying this because it takes time. it sucks to hear but it's true. i am not the same person i was at 12, 14, 17 or 19.

i feel like now that i've dealt with my baggage, i've reverted to my child self. i have never felt more connected to her actually. i used to be very happy, sunny, active, caring and kind as a young child. then shit happened and i had to find ways to cope. this led to me closing myself off, isolating and shielding myself from everything and everyone. my only comfort came from books and the internet. i did not have any friends, sometimes i felt like i was barely even alive.

now after leaving all of that behind and starting to live the life i actually want to live, i still don't have many friends and the internet is still my safe space. but the friends i do have are the best people i could ever ask for. they remind me of my worth and that i am loved. despite the distance that separates us, they prove to my younger self that she is not alone and that people who understand her and accept her for who she is exist. and they're pretty fucking cool.

i suppose the being "chill" about social stuff comes from maturing (and therapy lol). in the last couple of years i decided that the right people will find me, i do not need to settle for whoever is around just because. i can be me and if they don't like it then it's their loss. i don't need to mold myself into what i think they expect me to be or into what i think will make me be liked. i'm tired of doing that. i don't need to do that. i know that people that like me for me and that accept all of me with all of my flaws exist. and i don't need to try with them. they don't drain me. they fuel me to be more myself.

yes, it is lonely. and that does not mean that my social anxiety is gone, far from it. but it does make things easier. not settling also goes for all areas of life. you do not need to be in a situation that is not bringing you joy or fulfillment. you don't have to stick to it just because that's what you think people expect from you. the people who really care about you just want you to be happy. you are allowed to change your mind and make mistakes. it's scary but i promise you that it is so so worth it.

it is hard to relate to people who have lived in one place for their entire life and have had the same friends since they were little. it does make you wish that that could have been you. it makes you feel displaced and alone. especially if you have had to deal with that from a young age. sadly, i do not have the answer to that specific issue. but it is nice and comforting to find people who have had similar experiences, even if they're not geographically close to you.

i've been writing this for way too long so it's time to wrap it up.

kavya, you are wonderful. i admire your passion, your drive, your openness and how you are unapologetically you. thank you for being in my life for all of these years. it has been a joy to see you grow. you will forever be my tumblr younger sister 💛💛💛 thank you for being in my life, i love you.

#i say all of this from a place of privilege and everyone's circumstances are different etc etc you know the drill #this is way too long i'm sorry akjdsfdaslja #kavya #ask

10 notes · View notes