#and i remember waking up sobbing
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that place where we’re half asleep and half awake is when we can glimpse the afterlife, i think. i can hear you laughing in the living room, and i realise i havent heard you laugh like that in years.
im still asleep, i can feel the blanket over my shoulders, my eyes are closed, but im thinking about that one quote about how you can replace a lover, a friend, but you cant ever replace a brother.
when i was deeply sad, when i was taking ice cold showers in the winter to feel something, it was only the thought of losing you that i was afraid of. and even though im still asleep, i wish i could keep hearing you laugh like that for eternity.
i hope when my life ends, i hope death is when i finally wake up and join you in the living room, and drink energy drinks with you that our mom hates while playing video games together for hours like we did when we were children.
i hope that i can live an eternity in our memories, in me hugging you everytime you came home from college at 1am at the airport while it poured rain outside, in holding your hand when you cried after your fiance broke up with you, in the late night talks over facetime about our lives which were the only spots of light in the darkness that was my life for many, many years.
i was never afraid of death. because i knew that whichever one of us died first, we would wait for the other. we would wait for each other, before facing whatever comes after, my dearest older brother.
#my brother isnt dead HAHA dw#but i remembered a dream i had years ago in which he died#and i remember waking up sobbing#but. i really do hope that death is waking up from a long#sleep.#creative writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing tag#writers of tumblr#fiction tag#fiction#fiction talk#warm up#writing community#writing things#on writing#writer#writing update#writing process#at this point all i write are these rambles so i gotta keep writing them so i dont lose all my skills completely....
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Everytime I remember Amica Endurae thing I get so deeply emotional. Like YES, platonic love being acknowledged, treated as important and valuable as romantic, it just makes me SO HAPPY
Friend married forever. BFF. Soulmate. Friendship for life and beyond. I love that term so much
Queerplatonic Relationships kind of deal are so important and dear to me, and here it even has its own ritual ceremony and everything and it's so intimate and bittersweet and handled with so much care it's simply beautiful. Such a wonderful platonic life-long partnership concept
”I bid you stand in the glow of my spark that you may feel the heat of my words and know them to be true. I invite you to receive my light and in so doing become my Amica Endurae - from now until forever.”
...
“As you're to me, may I be to you - today, tomorrow and always”
#mtmte#amica endura#tf mtmte#transformers#more than meets the eye#lost light#tf lost light#incoherent thoughts#soulmates#queerplatonic#Friendship for life#queerplatonic relationship#it lives in my head rent free#Everyday I wake up and remember this#I can't comprehend how wonderful it is#So joyous to see platonic bonds be recognized#sobs and cries of delight
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Dear whoever first said that Daisy saw Coulson- the real, non-LMD Coulson- in the “afterlife” so to speak when she died for those few moments in the finale… I’m in your walls.
#I don’t remember where I first saw it#but it still gets me#imagine they had one of their little chats#and he encourages her to keep going#even if she’s tired#because it’s not her time yet#IMAGINE#and that’s why she wakes up all emotional#gonna go sob now bye#agents of shield#marvel’s agents of shield#daisy johnson#phil coulson#phildaisy
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Dissociation culture is "sad all day long, lives miserable and- Oh! My moot replied to my post!"
(Distracts for one second while responding)
Brain: haha! Sad memories privilege
REVOKED >:3
(now the issue will never be resolved or processed, yay!)
.
#dissociation culture is#disassociation culture is#dissociation#disassociation#mod cheese#BRO. bro real.#see for me I go 'haha I don't feel bad I don't feel anything in fact' for like Weeks#and then all of a sudden I get super pissed at everything and then I sob in the shower#(and then as of recent I've been talking to my boyfriend about it but usually I'd just go to bed after crying)#and then I wake up the next day and I have minimal recollection of the entire thing. don't remember what set me over the edge or Anything!#it's so drama like whyyy this is not the way to process or resolve!
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Not to JINX anything but uhhh life has been pretty good lately, reconnected with good old friends and been hanging with them, going to carnivals, out to diners after our shared martial arts classes. Have been going to movie nights monthly with my awesome cousins. Plus wonderful, comfortable happiness with my beautiful girlfriend. Money’s still tight as always, but I finally feel like I’m living my goddamn life.
#Hana things#personal#just waking up every day and remembering i have a gf makes me wanna sob#it's tough in summer just the job cuts hours and pay#but if i financially survive thru august i should be fine haha
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personally i’m still not over “i don’t know what’s right, i just want to talk to my sister.” and honestly i’m not sure i will be for a long while !
#it’s times like this where I remember he’s the younger brother and edyn was the closest thing he had to older familial support growing up#especially once finn disappeared#and for gill to not know what’s right. when his whole thing for so long was Always knowing right and wrong without hesitation#it just shows how shattered his old worldview has become. he’s so lost. he’s so scared. he just wants his sister.#but she’s not picking up. not anymore#sobs into my fucking hands hes lost everything his black and white framework AND his only remaining familial support#(unless finn wakes up. please oh god oh lord)#jrwi riptide#jrwilb#riptide spoilers#riptide analysis#gillion tidestrider#fizz character thoughts
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hi sorry to bother you I just saw your reblog of the kim possible post and your tags and I CANNOT for the life of me remember where that photo with the woman with mug is from and you seem to know so if you could enlighten me that would be FAB!!!!!
Absolutely no worries at all! It’s a screenshot from probably the best tiktok of all time (or, at least, it is imo 😂❤️)
youtube
The way she says “MWAH! Sobbin’!” lives rent free in my brain 😂
(Video transcript under cut)
[TRANSCRIPT: a woman wearing a headset is typing. a second woman comes in and prepares a cup of tea
2nd woman (cheery voice): Morning Jill!
1st woman, Jill (equally cheery voice): Morning Tracey! (takes off headset)
Tracey: What you get up to this weekend?
Jill (still cheery): Oooh, I had a lovely little breakdown!
Tracey (excited): Did you?
Jill: I did, yeah. Really treated myself. I felt on the brink all week, so I decided to stalk my ex just to push myself over the edge
Tracey: Jonathan?
Jill: That's the one
Tracey: Oh, he's got a gorgeous new girlfriend
Jill: I know!
Tracey: Niiice
Jill: And he's just landed himself his dream job
Tracey (awkward tone): Oh…and you're here…(upbeat) Ideal!
Jill: But that only had me tearing up, so I pushed it a little bit further. Tried on a dress from five years ago
Tracey: You bugger!
Jill: Then I grabbed a bottle of wine, box of McVities, whacked on the news, accidentally opened up my phone on selfie mode! And MWAH! (Kisses fingers) Sobbing
Tracey (satisfied tone): Oh! That sounds good!
Jill: Felt amazing. There's nothing like a good cry
Tracey: You must have felt really born
Jill: Oh, certainly felt like I was being birthed by that dress afterwards
Both: Mmm…
Tracey blows on her tea
Jill: How about you?
Tracey: Oh, I just saw some family
Jill: Aww. (realisation) Oh, so MASSIVE breakdown?
Tracey: HUGE.
end.]
#I’m gonna add a transcript in a little while after I’ve finished waking up fully 🫡#asks#lets-dissect#had to do a bit of brainstorming with a friend (shout out Travis!) to remember enough of the details to be able to google this tiktok and#it’s 100% worth it I laugh every time I see it like it’s the first time#gonna tag this as#jill#Tracy#mwah sobbing#so I can find it in future :3
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marc: baby, you are gonna miss that plane 🕺🏻
vale: i know 🥹
#sorry i’m thinking about before sunset rosquez#marc going from wdym we didn't have sex. to ‘of course i remember we had sex twice you idiot!’ to singing a song about his undying love#in the space of like 2 hours#vale like ‘i have this dream where you’re pregnant in bed beside me and i want so badly to touch you but you tell me not to and i...#i touch you anyway right on your ankle and your skin is so soft and i wake up in sobs. all right?'#idk it’s about second chances!!!
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me when
#n what if i cried#i feel so uncomfortable rn i somehow contracted a fucking. UTI#i drank this disgusting shit for it#i have to wake up in 6 hours#a drop of my friend's T gel landed on my finger and i may just sob. so close yet so far#[seething‚ clenching fist‚ on the verge of tears] but i must remember the future... five years from now i will be Okay#i've waited some years. what are some more?#i just need to weather it all. just hang on. try not to combust from rage into a ball of flames#it will get better. it will get better. i just need to hang on D':
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ART AT 2:30 AM 👹👹
Guys. I’m going to…take a break. I don’t know about sleep but. A break is in order. ANYWAY LES GET IT.
Little Alma…I lob her…☹️
Alma defending da little puppy nieta <33
pain <//33 can you tell I hate drawing blood
Yeah
Mirabel literally being dead tired and sore but still wanting to play
Da bat incident aftermath
Because I can. I was bestowed an ability and I use how I please. And I chose wholesome content <33
That is all, unfortunately, but I shall continue tomorrow…later??? Again is 2 in the morning so idk 💀💀 BUT HEY. I HOOE Y WILL TAKE THIS.
Can you tell which AUs are stuck in my head rn 🗿🗿
K BYEEEE <3333
#encanto#encanto au#au#werewolf alma and mirabel au#vampire encanto au#housebroken au#housebroken#encanto mermaid au#I still love little Alma…#sobbing#ok Imma go now#mad tired rn so I need to chill#I will not remember posting this when I wake up
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Hi I know it's been a hot minute since I've done this but woe au be upon ye because I've been listening to a slowed version of the disappearance of Hatsune Miku and yeah.
The vocas finding a fucked up very corrupted Piko because as a result of the discontinuation a lot of them were deleted, and they just decide to adopt him because they feel bad.
Slice of life anime except your roommate is a glitchy shell of a person who is very stressed and just wants a hug but can't communicate that because their voicebank is shitfucked and they're barely legible.
Here's the he
OHH there is so many things that could be done w/ this idea. poor poor piko 😭😭
ik u said slice of life anime which implies some more wholesome moments & comedy, and sure there is potential for that as well but. ofc the first thing my mind jumps to is angst 😭 pikoooooooo
#ask#SORRY FOR GETTING TO THIS LATE i wanted to draw at least smthn to go w/ it. even if this is kinda shitty but wah#it is so late rn i NEED TO WAKE UP IN A FEW HOURS BUT SHKJGHKJSNDGK 😭😭 LISTEN when you brainrot u brainrot#the doodle is sorta related to other misc thoughts cause this actually kinda reminds me of a separate thoughts w/ piko#similar vibes in a way? not exactly. its too much to get into rn but ohoho i have a lot of thoughts considering his relationships w/ others#how did you do the effects on him uahsjhgkj my art program cant do that 😭 or at least i havent figured out an equivalent.#i need to figure some stuff out at some point. also ughh the more i look at that doodle the more i dont like it but its 1am here so bruh#you cant see it w/ the angle but len is very much sobbing uncontrollably#also also eyy zatsune miku we thought u were dead. good to see you /j#no but seriously i remember all the slowed/pitched covers uploaded as fanloid covers. oh the times...#ollie the star anon
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#LISTEN WHEN I TELL I DON’T REMEMBER THE 1ST THING ABOUT ALDNOAH ZERO BUT I CAN TELL YOU : HE DID NOTHING WRONG#yes i know bold words to say when he literally has the gun in the picture but you get it#that one scene where princess whatever her name wakes up and keep repeating his name and he is just sobbing has been ingraved in my brain#he deserved better
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me: i will not think of more angst today
me: *listens to For Riddles, For Wonders*
me: well mission failed then!
#hush n shush wifi#specifically i'm listening to the KKOMDA remix which is somehow even MORE sad#now i'm just thinking of you smiling sadly as you disappear from Foul Legacy's grasp#your last moments are holding his hands as you vanish into specks of light#he tries so hard not to cry because he doesn't want your last memory of him to be him crying#but once you fully disappear he falls to the ground and starts sobbing#maybe the Traveler is there watching but unable to console him#and when he wakes up he feels like he had a long dream he couldn't remember#along with the sense that something extremely important is missing#but no matter how he tries he can't remember what#it feels like there's a hole in his heart that used to be filled by something#but what?#everything is seemingly as it should be yet it just seems a little less bright#because he's missing his sunlight (you)#the awful part is if he doesn't remember he feels like something is missing for the rest of his life#but if he does he falls into grief over what he's lost: the love of his life who provided light in his darkest times#the one person who adored him even though he's a monster#and he'll never get that back#anyways people who read the tags will be having a field day#i got some writing done but not much because i did other writing that was not very fun for hours today so hopefully i get more done tmrw#good evening :)#wifi rambles
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hm. i think i will ignore the last 8 episodes of arc v
#why does the writing. keep getting worse??#like i've actually been so invested in this but this is making me so angry???#why would i sit through a 5 episode long duel to end all duels just for. what even#if it were me.#i would have let them defeat zarc. uncorrupt yuya. have him live witj zarc and all the other yu boys SENTIENT personalities in his head#(treats them like a system. the others can front sometimes even)#AND WHILE THE 4 DIMENSIONS WERE STILL MERGING have the declan/yuya dueltaining duel of the century in order to show all 4 worlds rhat duels#are still for fun. and during the duel the other consciousnesses in yuya also get to take part and have fun#UNTIL FINALLY!! zarc remembers the duelist he was before. and he smiles. together he and the yu boys all deal the final blow to declan.#who just smiles acceptingly. the crowds from all 4 dimensions cheer about how fun the duel was. zarc chills out. yuya grounds himself from#the applause to look for zuzu and finds her holding riley who had passed out. they wake up and ask yuya if it's over. he says yes & they hug#we get a brief scene with all of the side characters from different dimensions as they reunite with family and friends. xyz is last tho#shay looks around at the people who have reunited with their families and starts to tear up because his is lost Forever.#saya kite and allen are all like 'that's not true.. we're here' shay's sobbing but he's like 'i'm not...' kite and allen laugh. saya smiles#suddenly the rest of the lancers come through and reach out to shay going 'hey now! our job's not done. we have a new mission'#and they begin traveling across dimensions together to help the rebuilding effort and to boost people's morale through dueltaining#the final scene is shay looking at zuzu (who is also lulu & celina & rin) and she smiles and hugs him so tightly bc they're still siblings#yuto and yuya smile super happily from afar until sora calls put 'hey!! slowpoke! are you coming or not??' yuya dashes off into a portal#with everyone else and yells 'wait for me!!' he nearly falls on his face and everyone laughs. zuzu reaches out her hand and he takes it#they all go into the portal and THE END#sorry that got long and rambly... DISREGARD#just know i hate the ending so much so far that i had to turn it off#sorry i used tye dub names it saves a couple letters in my 140 character tag limit....#chatter#lys watches arc v
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im so lucky to know so many people in my life to have met so many people in my life that are just life saving ill never not feel lucky people are so beautiful and kind and talented and funny and have so much worth everyone ive ever met anyone in my life i have ever touched i just cant believe it ill never be able to understand it how important everyone is how much i love people the degree to whihc i love people and everyone i have ever met ill just never ever be able to express the depth of how important it is to me it might be the most important part of my entire life. i just need people to know how much i love them im desperate for it to be known how important everyone ive ever met is to me. all of my friends everyone whos ever been kind to me and whoever ive been kind to it will never be lost on me how important it is. and i feel so lucky to be graced i guess by my friends. i cant imagine the life i would live without every event every person who ive ever crossed. i would never sacrifice anything to not be where i am now because of the people i know and have known. the people i know and talk to everyday or the people i see in a notification or pass by. i cant overstate your importance to me. i cant overstate how important i want people to feel. i want people to see themselves how i see them. i can not overstate your importance to me and i love you. im so lucky ill never be able to take it
#i just want ti go to sleep but i cant my sleep schedule has been so miserably depressing me#not that badly. i cherish every moment i have with the people around me and i cherish how lucky i am to be surrounded by such unbe#lievable people. i am happy everyday because people love me.#this will never be lost on me. the importance of it. the importance you all have will never ever be lost on me. your worth as a human being#you are so kind. you are so talented. you are loved by people because you are seen by people that way. i will never lose this#im miserably desperate for everyone i know to feel loved or to know that i love them. nothing will ever ever ever in my whole fucking life#ever be more important to me#nothing in my fucking life will ever be more important than that. please know how much you mean to this. to everything#i dont know what changed but i cry so often now and every single time my thoughts wander to how deeply i feel about this#im just sobbing and sobbing and im like. i love the people that care for me. i love the people i care for#i know when i stop crying or when the day rolls over i get to talk to everyone again. and i feel so lucky. i feel so desperate to explain it#how. much. it. means. to me. How badly i mean this and everything I say.#i dont fucking care if yoire my mutual from fandom or someone who random followed because my blog was funny#someone i talked to once or twice. you mean so much. i swear to god. ill never be mpre genuine or more serious. i guess#thats very kind of you to do that. or like my posts or anything. youre very kind for that. you mean alot to me.#i just dont want to fall asleep when the sun rises and wake up with a few hours to talk to people before im alone#i really hate it right now. and my neutral state has genuinely just been on the brink of crying. like if i sit still too long i just sob#thats genuinely how i have been for the past few days#and thats not the fault of anyone its just how my brain has been treating me#but whdn i get like this i just remember how lucky i feel about everything. like the depth of my feelings#you really just have to trust me when i say like how forever sincere and deep snd monumental it is to me. like please understand the depth#of when i say i love you. dear god i love everyone ive ever met i love you. please please please please understand how desperate i am#i will never ever feel more strongly about anything. i cant imagine it#i have to make this exact same fucking post over and over again#i need to keep saying it man#i need people to love themselves like i love them#the degree to which i say the word need#anyway. i love you. i hope you have fun or are happy about something. or draw write something nice. talk to your best friend. something
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I finally woke up from a nightmare I tried to wake up from 2 separate times 😑
#personal#not nightmare like i wake up sobbing but more like incredibly stressful the whole time#definitely like a horror game rated mature#that was all over the place.#i handled it well in retrospect but also me not wakingup after ive decided i clearly had enough and want out is funny#it was just like some matrix shit. but 3 layers in i guess. a failure of that scene where he wakes up lol#'you wanna wake up? ok.' *puts me ina diff dream that directly implies i woke up from the previous one*#this is more dreams brain...#i remember i tried so hard to wake up too lol. i thought i was opening my eyes but i just imagined it and the scenario changed#the 2nd time it happened i turned into a goat and apparently the dream now being wacky made me wake up#before me kinda-not thinking its a dream i wanna wake up from#anyways
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