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emberfrostlovesloki · 2 months

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Roses and Sparkling Water [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@hotchs-big-hands) Center (@brainstormingg) Right (@edwardian-girl-next-door)

Prompt: Aaron surprises the reader by stopping by her apartment after work to celebrate her first month of sobriety.

Pairing: [established relationship] Aaron x fem!non-BAU!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns

Category: fluff/comfort

Word Count: 4.3K

Content Warnings: Discussion of alcoholism/recovery [binge drinking, being drunk, hiding bottles, sobriety], food is mentioned, Aaron and the reader take a shower together, implied intimacy/sex. If I missed any, please let me know.

A/N: Hi loves! Here is another fic based on the amazing @imagining-in-the-margins January/February Writing Challenge. The prompt this was based on was “Character celebrates a milestone of sobriety.” I wrote this because I am one month sober today! Much of what happens in this story is what I felt before and after deciding to stop drinking. I have my friends and followers (and Aaron) to thank for supporting me and helping me get so far. Y’all are amazing and I love you. If you find yourself relating to any of these things, please know I am proud of you. It is never too early or too late to reach out for help. If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re having a great start to your week and thanks for reading. Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories

y/n = your name

_y/c/e_’s = your color eyes

_y/h/c_ = your hair color

y/n had gotten home from work a half hour ago. It normally took that long for her to relax and be de-stressed enough to do anything enjoyable or productive. y/n didn’t want to be this stressed all the time, but things had piled on with life recently, and she was trying to accept it as best as she could. y/n was just lighting a candle and making a final cup of coffee when there was a knock at her door. y/n looked at the door confused. She hadn’t ordered anything on Amazon, and as likely as she was to get food delivered on yet another stressful day, y/n hadn’t gotten food either. y/n approached the door not sure what to expect. y/n looked out of the peep hole and her face broke out into a smile. This was the best kind of surprise that y/n could hope for. Without thinking about why Aaron was here, particularly with a dozen roses in hand, y/n threw the door open and said, “Hey, you. What are you doing here?”

Hotch stepped inside and moved forward, enveloping y/n in a tight hug. y/n breathed in his classic scent of cologne and shampoo. He had such a rich and deep scent. It was something akin to the smell of rain before a thunderstorm. The scent of green and dirt. It was something that y/n loved about him. Of course, y/n loved everything about Aaron. His smell was just a bonus. He still hadn’t answered her question, so y/n asked again, “So… why are you here? Did you come straight from the office?” y/n studied Hotch as if she was a profiler. He was still wearing his black slacks and white button-up. It looked crisp and well-pressed. y/n remembered a comment he had made on Saturday about picking up his laundry with Jack before he swung by to pick y/n up for an evening at his apartment. Apart from these articles of clothing, Hotch was missing his tie and suit jacket. It was an odd but becoming look on him, and y/n flushed at just how attractive he was in any state of dress.

Aaron smiled at y/n and leaned in to place a kiss on her lips. It was soft and he relished the slight stickiness of y/n’s chapstick which she must have just put on. When Hotch pulled back he said, “I’m here to celebrate you, darling.” He watched as she got slightly flustered and looked at him. y/n was now concerned that she’d forgotten some milestone of their relationship. They’d been together officially for nine months, and they weren’t the type to celebrate each month being together. y/n smiled and loved being celebrated and getting flowers from Aaron, but the why was still a mystery. y/n smiled and said, “Well you’ve got me stymied. Why are we celebrating me? Is it my un-birthday or something?” Hotch pulled back and replied, “Well maybe it’s that, but I was thinking more along the lines of the fact that today is one month of you not drinking.” y/n’s _y/c/e_’s shot open a little more. She hadn’t expected Aaron to remember the date when she’d given up drinking as she hadn’t brought it up much. But y/n loved that Aaron paid such close attention to her and the things that were important to her. y/n shouldn’t have been surprised but was and smiled even more and said, “Honey, that’s so sweet of you. How did you remember?”

Aaron took one of y/n’s hands gave it a squeeze and replied, “Sweetheart, when you decided you’d had enough I was incredibly proud of you. I know you only told a few people with me being one of them, and I know you don’t bring it up often, but I think it’s so important for you to feel accomplished in making it this far.” y/n let out a little laugh and said, “Aaron, it’s only thirty-one days. It’s not like a year or something. Every Saturday I still think about getting a drink at the bar. You must see it in my face sometimes. Or like before we go to bed.” Aaron nodded and gently took y/n’s chin in his hands so that y/n was sure to be looking at him. He was serious but not angry as he said, “I do notice, y/n. I notice every time I’m with you, and every time I see you choose to not go for a drink I’m so proud of you for that. I know it’s not easy. I want to highlight and celebrate all those times you’ve said no and let you know how strong I think you are.” y/n’s eyes began to water with emotions. She leaned into Aaron’s chest again. Hotch had placed the roses on the kitchen counter by this point with his long arms so he could more comfortably wrap his arms around his partner. y/n swallowed back the lump in her throat and said, “What have I ever done to deserve you, Aaron?” Hotch chuckled and said, “You never had to do anything to deserve me. We found each other and that’s all that matters to me. We give and take equally, if we didn’t this wouldn’t work.” Hotch pulled back again and asked, “So, would you like to do something to celebrate? I’m down for anything. I told the team and Strauss that I wouldn’t be available tonight. We could stay here or go out. I’m down for what you like.”

y/n beamed at the idea of a night assured that Aaron wouldn’t be snatched away by work. y/n said, “Well, such an offer is too tempting to answer without thinking about it for a minute.” Aaron smiled and replied, “Well while you think about it how about I’ll get a vase for those flowers.” y/n looked at the flowers, almost forgetting that they were there with Aaron in front of her. She chuckled and said, “Okay. There’s something in that top cabinet that I can’t reach that would work to hold them. Thank you for bringing them. They’re so beautiful.” Hotch nodded and said, “Well, nothing’s more beautiful than you, but I’m glad you like them.” As the tall man approached the kitchen to look for a vase, y/n pulled the flowers in front of her face and inhaled the light floral scent. It reminded them so much of Spring and just how thoughtful Aaron was as a partner. He’d seen it all from day one. Her problems with drinking. The anxiety and stress of the recent move and new job.

In fact, being with Aaron had been one of the main reasons y/n had quit. She had gotten sick of having to hide empty bottles when Hotch said he could stop by with or without Jack. It took work to throw away or hide five empty wine bottles or lug them out to the recycling. The hiding of the extant of her problem was also embarrassing. Every time she went to the recycling bin across the street, she thought that everyone she passed was looking and listening to the bottles clink on each other. On top of that, Aaron would always offer to drive her to work and she’d get into his car with either a headache or a hangover that she was badly hiding. The scent of Listerien must have been so strong in the small confines of the car. The problem that y/n had with drinking was that it never got so bad that she got in trouble. Not at work or with her friends. y/n was incredibly lucky that her binge drinking late into the night had only resulted in her showing up an hour late to work one day that wasn’t very important. She’d not even gotten a reprimand for it.

The real impetus for change had happened in two waves. The first had been on a day that had been so bad and overwhelming that y/n had called Aaron in near hysterics. Once he had heard her in distress so bad that she couldn’t even talk, he’d dropped everything and come over. He found y/n in her bed in what looked like such emotional pain that it nearly broke his heart. Aaron sat next to her, rubbed her back, and whispered words of comfort while y/n tried to stop the tears seeping from her eyes. y/n sniffled and asked, “Can you get me some water from the fridge? Please.” Hotch nodded and got up. y/n had completely forgotten that she hadn’t taken care of the bottles of wine both empty and full, nor the plastic cup that she’d put back into the fridge the night before at 3:00 a.m. when she couldn’t force down one more sip. y/n was too upset to think about it right now. But when Aaron opened the fridge, he instantly noticed the bottles and cup on the side of the door. Hotch knelt down and made sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing right. He silently lifted the bottles to see which were full and which were empty. He knew that y/n had a drinking problem even though she never drank in front of him. It was easy to see even if y/n tried to hide it. But this was worse than he had ever imagined. It hurt Hotch to see y/n trying to drown out her pain like this. With the way she was right now, he could understand the desire to self-medicate, but he cared about her too much to see her hurting herself like this to not say something. But he’d save that conversation for later. He quickly got the water she had asked for and moved back to give it to her and cuddle her until she could explain why she was so sad.

That Saturday, as Hotch and y/n went on their normal trip to the park for him to run and y/n to walk before picking up Jack from Haley’s, he brought up what he’d seen in her fridge earlier that week. y/n was confused at the beginning when Aaron didn’t start his normal stretching and jog, instead opting to walk with her. y/n looked at him and asked, “Are you feeling alright, love? Is your hip hurting you again?” Aaron gave his head a small shake as he said, “No, I’m good. I just wanted to talk to you about something.” y/n tipped her head to the side slightly. His tone was serious as was his expression. Suddenly y/n felt like she was under a microscope, and she was panicking. y/n wondered what she’d done and her brain came up with the worst thing imaginable like Aaron breaking up with her. So when he said softly, “I saw the bottles in your fridge, y/n, and I’m really worried about you.” It took y/n’s brain a few seconds of buffering to let Aaron’s words register. When they did, y/n instantly felt shame well up inside her. She’d forgotten about the fact that he’d looked at the fridge. y/n’s brain fired all its neurons for some kind of response but it was useless, and she said in a defeated tone, “I know I’ve got a problem. It’s bad and I feel bad about it. I’ve tried stopping so many times and it just never works. I can’t do the moderation thing. I’m sorry you saw that, I’m sorry I hid it, I’m just sorry…” y/n didn’t have anything more to say in their defense. y/n realized that what they had said wasn’t even a defense. It was just useless words that didn’t mean anything. At least y/n didn’t think they meant anything to anyone. But as Aaron walked alongside his partner, he felt a profound sadness yet strength at y/n speaking at all. He moved in front of y/n and stopped them in their tracks. y/n ended up running into him as her eyes were glued to the ground. y/n looked up at Aaron expecting him to be angry or upset, but he just looked concerned. y/n swallowed and said, “Why are you looking at me like that?” His facial expression wasn’t the one she had expected and it threw her off completely. She had almost hoped for anger. y/n was used to anger in response to her shortcomings. Empathy was so new to her that it felt wrong somehow.

Aaron pulled both of them off the trail gently and to a nearby bench. When they were settled, and y/n was looking at him with concern, he responded, “y/n. I’ve only ever cared or been worried about you. Your drinking, which I’ve known about for a while now, never made me angry. It just made me sad that you were hurting so much and not telling me, or anyone. When I saw your fridge and just how much you were drinking it made me concerned for you. You were so upset and I just want you to be okay. I know it’s hard. It’s gotta be so hard, but would you let me help you? Can you tell me why it started? How it got like this?” y/n was a sniffling mess by now and nodded without saying anything. After she’d taken a deep breath and realized that Aaron didn’t hold the shame for her that she held for herself, y/n said, “Yes. I’ll tell you, Aaron. But can we not do this in the park? Maybe we could go to your house where there isn’t a bottle for me to be tempted by?” Hotch had to let out a soft chuckle at y/n’s statement and gave her shoulder a slight squeeze and the top of their head a kiss as he said, “Of course, love. Let’s go to my place where we can both relax and talk more privately.” A few minutes later the couple was settled on Aaron’s comfy couch and y/n started sharing. She thought that it would be hard to let out those feelings and the draw of the numbing effect that wine had on her. Although it was uncomfortable at the start, Aaron’s compassion and caring questions that dug at and begged to understand y/n on a deeper level allowed her to let him into the part of her life that she had kept hidden away for over three years. As y/n spoke, it was so clear to her that he’d loved her through all of her flaws and bad choices she’d made. Not only did he love her, but he tried to understand and be there for her pain.

y/n was thrown from that memory when Hotch returned with a tall vase that would accommodate the flowers, and y/n felt like a giddy schoolgirl at just seeing him. Aaron couldn’t help but smile too as he said, “I’m never going to get tired of seeing that look on your face, y/n. I’ll have to stop by your place more often after you get home from work unannounced.” Aaron took the flowers from y/n and nestled them in the glass vase. y/n stood behind him while he did this, wrapped her arms around his waist, and leaned into him. As Aaron arranged the flowers to their optimum fullness, y/n looked out the window and remembered just how pretty a day it was outside. It wasn’t too hot or cold, so y/n said, “I think I know what I want to do with our free evening.” Aaron looked over his shoulder and said, “Oh, yeah. What’s that y/n?” y/n replied, “Well I’d like to go to the park near your place, and then if you’re down we could go to that Italian place where we went to on our first real date?” Aaron turned around and relaxed into her embrace and said, “Darling anything you want to do tonight we can. Well, anything but go and have like five tequila shots.” y/n nearly choked laughing and said teasingly, “Oh my gosh, Aaron, you’re the worst. Plus you know I hate tequila shots.” Hotch smiled and leaned down to kiss y/n on the forehead. He loved how lowkey y/n was. He knew she’d understand the joke, if she wouldn’t have, he never would have said it. He pulled back and said, “Well maybe we can have some sparkling water instead. Now. Do you still have that blanket from when we had that picnic with Jack?” y/n nodded and said, “It’s in the hall closet. I washed it a long time ago. It might have moth balls by now, to be honest.” Aaron stepped toward the closet and said, “Well, we can shake them out when we get to the park if they’re there. Do you want to grab a coffee to go? I see you’re machine is still running.” y/n whipped their head toward the kitchen and said, “Shoot, I forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder. Do you want a cup too?” Aaron called out over his shoulder, “Yes, that’d be great.” As Hotch got the blanket, y/n pulled two cups from the cabinet and made the coffee. She then quickly grabbed her purse and sunglasses. y/n held the door open for Aaron and they both walked down to his car.

In the park, the pair found a spot under a shady tree that was private but gave a view to a field where people were tossing a frisbee around and some dogs were chasing tennis balls in the lush grass. Aaron and y/n were quiet for a while as they both took in the lovely weather and coffee. When Aaron finished his cup, he set it on the quilted blanket and lay down to look at the sky. Seeing the expanse of Aaron’s chest so wide open, y/n set down her cup and made sure it stayed up before placing her head and upper body on his chest. Hotch snuggled y/n’s head into his chest a bit more and his hands found their place on her back and in her _y/h/c_ hair. y/n sighed contentedly into him, not in a tired way just a “I’m happy to be here way.” Aaron’s eyes gazed down to her back and shoulders and he said, “y/n, would you tell me why you decided to quit? I know you don’t make a big deal about it, but if you’re willing to tell me, I’d like to know.” y/n smiled into his chest and her mind flashed back to the second reason why she’d given up drinking. y/n’s fingers traced patterns over his skin and replied, “Well, it’s kinda silly, but I was just sick of being sick. I remember that Monday when I woke up as foggy as ever and I was thinking about how I only had one bottle left in the fridge and that I was going to have to walk to the store and buy another one to feel comfortable for the night because one bottle was never enough. And then I wondered if I had the money for it because it was the end of the month. And it thought about the type of power that alcohol had over my emotions and finances. It felt like it was controlling my life and I was sick of it. I had such better things to live for, like you and Jack and work. There was so much more to pay attention to in life. So I got out of bed that morning and poured all that I had out. Then I threw away all the bottles, immediately, so I wouldn’t be reminded of them. Let me tell you, I didn’t sleep for two days after that. It was pretty shitty.” y/n chuckled at how terrifying the choice had been for the first two days. Aaron listened and his face broke out in a smile as his hands ran up and down y/n’s back. He said, “Well I’m so happy for you. I see how much you’ve kind of come into yourself over this last month. I know it’s been hard, and yes I said that before, but you’re doing great, and I’ll keep supporting you however you need me to, tomorrow, next week, next month, until the end of time. I promise you that.” y/n looked up from his chest and gave his jaw a series of kisses that left Aaron fully flustered.

When it got dark the pair moved to the restaurant where they were seated at a corner table inside. The place had little tea candles on the tables and Aaron, true to his word, ordered a chilled bottle of sparkling water for the table. He even asked for wine flutes like they were having champagne. y/n laughed slightly as he poured them both glasses and handed one over to her. y/n picked up her glass as did Aaron. y/n’s eyes lit up as they clinked glasses and he said, “Here is to my love and how proud I am of you.” y/n added, “Well here this should also go out to my love and just how amazing you are to me. I wouldn’t be here at a month sober if you didn’t remind me how happy I can be without drinking.” Aaron couldn’t help but flush a little. They both took a sip and as y/n set down her glass she smiled at him and said, “You know Aaron, as simple as you are, you can go all out on some things.” y/n winked at the bottle of sparkling water and Hotch chuckled saying, “Well, I only think I’m extra for the important things, and I think this is one of them.” Soon after that, their food came and they had a nice meal together reflecting on their relationship and how it had evolved over the months.

When the pair got back to y/n’s home, she turned to him and asked, “So, are you going to spend the night tonight? Was that calling out to the team and Director Strauss just a tonight thing, or could it maybe extend into tomorrow morning?” y/n gave him her best pleading eyes because it was so nice to have him around unexpectedly, and she wanted to capitalize on his time if he could get away with it. Aaron smiled and said, “Well, I let the team get away with being in the office late once or twice, I don’t know why I can’t follow suit once in a while.” y/n grinned and said, “That’s my rule breaker. Now…I was thinking maybe I could do with a shower. How would you feel about joining me?” Hotch’s eyes flashed dark with a desire for a moment and he said in a voice suddenly much lower, “Well, that sounds like a good idea to me. Let me get it running at a good temperature.”

While Aaron was getting the shower set perfectly, y/n stripped down to nothing. y/n looked at herself in the mirror, glad to see her bold glow without the feeling of fuzziness from drinking, When Hotch said that the water was ready, she moved into the steamy room. Aaron’s eyes widened as she stepped past him and into the shower. She turned to face him and let the water cascade down her naked body. y/n loved the fact that she could freeze him like this, and she teased, “Are you going to stand out there in the cold love?” Aaron snapped out of his daze and he quickly stripped out of his clothes. y/n looked him up and down as he also got drenched from the shower. Aaron couldn’t stop himself and moved forward and began kissing her neck and shoulders. He stopped and asked, “Is this okay love? Do you feel like it tonight?” y/n smiled and ran a hand down his jaw and chest toward his navel. y/n nodded and said, “Of course I do Aaron. I want you like this whenever we can enjoy each other. Getting to be this close to you makes me feel so alive.” Aaron’s eyes roamed over her face again and he said, “Good, because I want to give it to you tonight and whenever you want it, y/n. Now let me get back to this very very important job.”

He moved back to sucking and nipping at y/n’s warm skin and his mouth moved lower to a more sensitive area. As his tongue started working the spot on her chest and his hands worked over his body as well, y/n leaned her head back and let out a gasp. y/n ran her hands through his short hair. As Aaron kept working fervently and lovingly, she realized how much better was to experience all things with a clear head. Especially when it came to scenarios like this. To feel Aaron taking care of her with such love and desire was the best feeling she could ever have. When they were like this, giving themselves to the other, the idea of a drink, no matter how good, would never even cross y/n’s mind. As y/n let out the first soft moan of Aaron’s name and his hands moved to her thighs, y/n gave into the passion of the night because when it came down to it, Aaron was the best drug of all.

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levenlike11 · 9 months

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professional player suna x famous reader (they/them pronouns used) drabble! hope you enjoy🫶🏻 sorry for the inactivity, my brain refuses to work these days🥹

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"do you think people will recognize me here?" suna shows you a picture the paparazzi took of you two together on your date last night. you have no idea how they even recognized you since the photo was taken at 1 a.m. in pitch black dark on a narrow street in the city, where you thought no one would come at that hour.

"no one's that obsessed with you to know you from your back and ass." you scoff, sliding down on the flood of articles titled "y/n and their new partner spotted at midnight"

"some people are but anyways-" you roll your eyes. "what does the articles say?" suna asks, pushing his body closer to yours so there's not a single inch left between your sides. you push him away from you which makes him pout and he takes your phone from your hand.

"you have your own phone to use rin, leave mine alone." you try to reach for your phone but fail miserably when he turns his body the other way. damn him and his too long arms.

"after an interview with *** magazine, y/n had denied any rumors about their dating life. it seems that was just a bluff, seeing how we can easily say that's them in the picture, embracing a mystery person in the middle of the night." suna reads aloud and turns off your phone.

"you got away again." you huff and take your phone back, logging into your profile. "i lost thousands of followers in one night, i'll probably lose a lot more." you put your phone on the nightstand and throw yourself on the bed, suna joining you soon after.

"i'm sorry baby, i didn't think anyone would see us, i know you didn't too. you're always extremely careful to not cause a scene. they must have been following us for a long time for that picture, i'm surprised they didn't see who i was. at least you'll only deal with your disappointed fans and not mine too." he tries to look at the bright side and pats your head hoping it will help you feel better.

"my staff will be so angry too, like i told them to take a photo of us. they always ignore how hard i try." you push your face into your pillow.

"i feel bad that you have to deal with this alone." he rubs your back and you turn back to him.

"i have an idea. but it might just make things worse."

"do you want to tell everyone?" he asks and you nod.

"only if you want to as well though. i don't want you to feel like i pushed you into the situation. also my team and yours might get much angrier."

"at least we won't have to hide anymore. you can even come to my games and cheer for me!" he smiles, trying to look on the bright side again. you really wish to be as careless as him sometimes.

"so you don't mind?" he shakes his head. "like not at all? completely sure?" "hundred percent." he answers and hugs your side. "i want everyone to know i scored such a great, gorgeous, hardworking, pretty, nice, amazing partner." he smiles.

"they'll probably think i'm the lucky one for finding myself such a handsome boyfriend." you chuckle seeing how he grins after that and pick your phone back up from where it was.

"do you want to post something or should i?" you ask, opening instagram. he takes your phone, opens your photos and chooses a selfie you took last night with you smiling bright and a kiss mark on his cheek. he posts the photo with the caption "my mystery person<3" and you both ignore all the calls and texts you get all day, enjoying the freedom by going out to get food together, hand in hand.

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note: sorry this kind of sucks, trying to force myself out of a writing block (not working very well as you can see :/ ) hope you enjoyed it nonetheless, as always feel free to leave feedback and point out any mistakes!

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evermourning · 7 months

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𝐛𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 - han jisung

pairing: han jisung x reader (bewitched series pt. 2)

wc: 1.2k

genre: fluff, friends to lovers, mutual pining, comfort, slice of life, based off "bewitched" by laufey

warnings: not proofread, language, pet names (jagi/jagiya, baby), horrifically cliche, no direct pronouns used for reader

a/n: all the love my chan oneshot got is absolutely the sweetest! i'm hoping this one will be on par with it <33

"can you even focus with me here?" you asked, laughing loudly as your best friend stared down the screen, a controller held tightly in his hand. jisung had his arms around you as you sat comfortably between his legs, head on his chest. from your warm and snug position, just by looking up could you see his beautiful side profile. heart-shaped lips in a slight pout, his annoyingly gorgeous face sporting deep hazelnut eyes...god. you hated this feeling.

"of course i can! stay put, okay? i can't win if you're squirming around." he giggles, reaching down slightly to ruffle your hair.

how would he react if he knew?

if only your best friend knew about how you'd lay in bed at the earliest hours...staring off into space when the moon was at its highest point, thinking, wishing, hoping that the boy who'd been your very best friend for fucking years would look at you the way you looked at him.

in your eyes, han jisung was your golden boy, warmth and joy radiating off him whenever he was near you. he was your anchor, the rainbow amidst dark grey clouds.

to him? you were probably his best friend he'd known since you two were gangly little kids eating popsicles on your front porch. there was absolutely no way you were of any romantic interest to him...especially if he'd seen your puberty phase.

"hey...is everything okay? you just went like- dead silent." jisung asked, soft concern flooding his facial features. he looked even cuter- fuck! you wanted to slap yourself, to tell these silly little butterflies in the pit of your stomach to shut the hell up soooo bad. "something bothering you? do i need to beat someone up for you??"

"no, no. i'll be okay. plus, look at you—you couldn't even hurt a fly!" you teased, trying to hide the fact that your face was becoming inexplicably warm.

"that's because they're too small. i always miss them when they're just flying around doing who knows what."

you laughed at his comment, reassuring yourself that even if it wasn't mutual, being with him like this was better than nothing.

"shit, i gotta go- i promised minho i'd practice with him!" jisung mopes. "i'll text you later."

and then he leaned in to whisper to you, lips so close you could've sworn they brushed against your ear:

"keep me in your heart, okay? i know you're really stressed over something you're deciding not to mention to me...remember i'll always be here when you need me the most."

and then he stood up, and walked out the door. leaving you sitting there, absolutely and unmistakeably bewildered.

that was one of the million times where you wanted the words so many desired to hear to simply fall out of your lips, floating on a cloud until they reached him.

and yet, as always, the words melted away on your tongue like a soft early spring snowfall gone too soon.

"i'm going on a date tonight."

as each word resonated in your ears, a tiny piece of you was crushed like fragile china. what if this girl or guy was the one? everything you'd worked so hard for would be thrown away.

"i hope you have a good time. be safe, okay?" you replied quietly, giving him a quick hug. "we can hang out once you get back, and you can tell me if it went shit or if you can tell that this person will be the one."

"well..." jisung says sheepishly. "if you tell me not to, i won't go."

you nodded, not really listening until the words truly reached your brain.

"what?"

"you heard me." jisung said firmly, before promptly walking out into the pouring rain. you yelped, grabbing an umbrella and running after him. as your clothes became increasingly drenched, you grabbed him by his jacket before pulling him in under your umbrella.

"you can't say shit like that," you said, giving him a glare. "you're making me think you're like- in love with me or something."

"that's because i literally am? but you're just so goddamn oblivious you didn't even notice." jisung replied, sighing. your mouth dropped open.

"actually?! you're not just fucking with me, right?"

jisung shook his head. "nope. how have you not noticed that i'm all over you 24/7? the only reason i was going on a date anyways is because i gave up trying. it wasn't like you liked me back or-" when he noticed your expression, all of the pieces fell into place, clicking for him. "oh."

you laughed, dumbfounded.

and then you pulled him in for a genuine first kiss, as the rain pounded against the concrete sidewalk lit by a single dimmed streetlight. time froze as you lost yourself in the moment, sealing your fate.

and just like that, the s in 'bsf' faded away.

...

a numerous amount of texts, all along the lines of: 'babyyyyy, where are u :(' arrived on your phone in quick succession. you laughed to yourself as you received an incoming call from your lovely boyfriend.

"are you on your way home from work, jagiya?" his tired voice mumbled. "and why are you working at this time of day in the first place?"

"money doesn't grow on trees, baby." you snickered. "i'm doing the best i can to make do."

"you poor thing." jisung cooed. "you know i'd lend you absolutely any amount of money if you asked."

"i know, but i'm trying to be independent." you explained. jisung went silent for a second, as if he was planning out his answer.

"i hope you're not suddenly so independent that you're ditching me!" he said, and you could just imagine the pout upon his soft (extremely kissable) lips. "i saw you today, and i already miss you sooooo much. what's going on? you're not even gone."

"i think you're just a tad clingy," you teased. "also, turn around. i brought you lunch."

jisung, standing at the crosswalk, turned around with fucking sparkles in his eyes. he basically squealed as he hugged you tightly, absolutely ecstatic that you were in front of him and not just a voice on a device.

"my beautiful gorgeous booboo bear." he teased as he hugged you, staring at you with the cutest face. he looked like a kid on christmas day.

"if you ever call me that again i'm taking my house key back." you replied.

"hey!"

you smiled as you two sat down on a park bench. thankfully, it was a gorgeously sunny day, with crystal clear skies and a shimmering sun offering its rays to the earth. jisung lazily stretched an arm around your shoulders, pulling you in.

you just wanted to stay in his embrace for all eternity. there was something so alluring about him, this comforting energy. it was like...he was hexing you or something. you giggled at the thought of jisung, standing over a cauldron as he tried to create some villainous brew to keep you by his side.

and yet, the idea didn't seem that far-fetched. he did cast a whimsical spell on your heart, cursing you to fall for him, and fall hard.

maybe he did bewitch you, after all.

and if that was the case, it wasn't so bad.

...

taglist <3: @imastraykidsfan

#evermourning #ren writes!! <3 #skz #stray kids #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #fluff #han skz #han jisung #han x reader #han jisung x reader #bewitched set...entry ii

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yessa-vie · 7 months

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❝PIRATE KINGDOM❞ . CHOI SAN . SMAU!

→ SUMMARY. It all starts when you and your friends are kicked out of your shared apartment, causing you to ask your childhood best friend (and idol) for help, which leads you to live with him and the other members of his kpop group. From there on, you completely enter the world of kpop, creating the best friendships you could ask for, and, as if working with kdramas wasn't enough, your life ends up becoming the best example of one with each passing moment. and your best friends are the main spectators and commentators of all the drama that has surrounded your life since it all began.

→ PAIRING. idol!Choi San x actress!afab!reader (main) || Juyeon x reader || some platonic pairing as well.

→ TYPE. social media au.

→ GENRE. stranger to friends to lovers, fluff, a little angs (on ocasion just bc), slow burn (!). if any part is to be written, it will be complementary and not a necessity to read it, but I don't really plan on having them atp.

→ WARNINGS. the story starts officially on febuary 2020, I'm not gonna focus a lot on the hair colors and their agendas or else I'll go insane to match everything but I'll do my best, idol! au, she/her pronouns, normalization of drinking/getting drunk, toxic envyroment (lightly), body dismorphia, idols are human beings. [more to be added if needed]

→ FEATURING. stray kids, astro, itzy, the boyz, oneus, txt, enhypen, aespa, and other. NOT ALL FROM EVERY GROUP WILL APPEAR, NOR WITH SUCH A PRESENCE LIKE ATEEZ AND STRAY KIDS.

→ STATUS. on going.

↪ started: 07.10.2023 (dd/mm/yyyy)

↪ ended: [ON HIATUS]

→ UPDATES. when I can and most likely on the weekends or whenever there's a hollyday and I get my hands on the laptop so I can update.

→ TAGLIST. open (here's the form).

→ IMPORTANT. the ATEEZ guys appear first in chapter 07, with some interaction with the members, but Wooyoung is the first one to interact directly with the reader, then progressively, the others start to interect and to become friends.

if you want to support me and my writing, you can buy me coffee here! I already thank you for you time and attention.

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

twitter profiles: y/n babies || skz || teez || extras

teaser 01 || teaser 02 || teaser 03 || teaser 04 || teaser 05

PART I: princess.

01. me and jisung need help

02. Chan, can we keep her?

03. but I do love Moonbin more than you

04. crushing my dreams again

05. my baby?

06. keep the real ones close

06.1. happy birthday princeling 📝

07. 8M1T

08. I dare you

09. she did what now?

10. happened during rehearsals

11. Eric YES!

PART II: kingdom.

12. denial stage

12.1. catching fire 📝 12.2. 8Makes1AmazingTeam 📝

13. it's not how it looks

14. what you share online (??)

15. ?? (??.??.2024)

16. ?? (??.??.2024)

17. ?? (??.??.2024)

18. ?? (??.??.2024)

bonus (just extras that i did for fun):

↪ mostly will be smau, not sure if I'll put a written part here yet, but I do have some ideas. if they are written parts they will have the emoji that says they are written, other wise, they'll be smau.

⤳ pre debut han (??.??.????)

⤳ jung 'big mouth' wooyoung (??.??.????)

⤳ house warming 'party' 📝(??.??.????)

⤳ i'll prove it 📝(??.??.????)

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discord-emote-customs · 3 months

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Pinned Post/Info!

Welcome to my emoji drawing side blog! Here you can request for me to draw any discord emotes you'd like. Everything is free to use for its original purpose, if used for other purposes please credit this blog!!

Will not draw: NSFW, slurs (reclaimed or not), heavy gore, non-emoji people, discriminatory emojis, backgrounds to emojis (does not apply if it is the emoji itself), asl/hand emojis, and animations.

Will draw: Basically everything else, but this can change! This includes wordmojis, emoji people, animals, pride stuff, and anything disorder/neurodivergent/mental illness/medical condition related. Will draw religion/belief related emojis.

Everything will be tagged accordingly, so if you see something you don't like, don't complain! Simply block the tag!

I can and will refuse anything I don't want to do, so please don't take it personally.

Main blog: @arunningjoke

About me: You can call me Zen/Chara/Knife/Vela/Zaniah/Mira/Fulu and my pronouns are she/they/it/he with any neos (no emojipronouns!)

DNI: NSFW/kink/paraphillia/fetish blogs, no LGBTQ+phobia, ableism (of EVERY kind!!!), and those with gacha/Noelle Holiday (Deltarune) profiles (just request with anon, gacha is a trigger for me and Noelle makes me extremely EXTREMELY uncomfortable T^T")

The emoji archive carrd

Other stuff to know:

If you send me anything to base an emoji/emojis on and dont give a creator + don't have proof of permission, I'll either ask for creator/proof of permission via private answer, or if you're on anon, I'll just delete your request.

If you want to edit/recolor my emojis and put them anywhere but discord, link the post the original emojis you are using are in. When using for Discord, put EDITED or NOTMINE in the name. If someone asks who made it, link the post the original emojis you are using are in. Never never NEVER edit my emojis for hate speech or harassment or anything in my DNI. It's absolutely unacceptable behavior no matter what/who you are using them for/towards.

If you want to send in a lot of requests at once, please wait. At least one or two days between each request. On the other hand, you can put a bunch of stuff in one request. If it gets to be too much for me I'll post a bit and then reblog later with more/the rest so that people get their turn.

Requests are currently closed!

What I'm currently working on:

More samoyeds

Happy goldfish & taiyaki

Little holding highland cow plush

Little holding fox plush

Little cuddling mary meyers marshmallow stegosaurus plush

Little holding personal plush frustrated/overwhelmed/happy

Event stuff:

Frodo Baggins & Hobbit stims (ears, kicking feet) (Lord of the Rings)

Cupid (Kaitou Joker), Yatterchat

Marcy Wu (waving & hand flap stim) (Amphibia)

Martin & Jon (Magnus Archives)

Young Greg (basic emotions) (Steven Universe), Don Lothario (Sims 2)

Kangel (Needy Streamer Overload)

Zim (Invader Zim)

Sherlock Holmes (autism smile (???), "what's wrong with them"), Draco Malfoy (sipping coffee/tea in muggle cup), Agata Katsuhira ( "numb right now") (Kiznaiver) Noriko Sonozaki ("too much pain") (Kiznaiver), Lucifer Morningstar ("I'm better than you") (Lucifer Show)

Sprinkle & Blue (stims & wags) (Blues Clues)

Xion (hand flapping) (Kingdom Hearts)

Solar drinking out of a cup with a comically large silly straw (will make extra silly for friend)

The Shroud Siblings & Ortho Shroud (Twisted Wonderland)

#pinned post #discord emoji #discord emote #discord emojis #discord emotes #custom emoji #custom emote #custom emojis #custom emotes #not an emoji

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kelandrin · 5 months

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Hello! I’m Atlas (any pronouns are fine). This is my bg3 blog. It is 18+ so minors DNI. I like pretty much every ship and will reblog most content. I am always interested in how other people interpret characters and parts of the game, even if those interpretations don’t make it into my own head canons. Slowly putting together a list of my Tavs and Durges! I also post daily Tav Questions. All my dividers are by @cafekitsune !

Jan 22-29 Strike for Palestine: I am refraining from participating in the economy for the strike this week. If you cannot stop going to work or school, check out other ways you can strike by checking out this post here. More ways to support the victims here. Animal rescue donations here.

Ask Games

Tav Ask Game and Durge Ask Game. Not-so-nice Ask Game.

You can also send me your favorite pairing and I will say my favorite thing about it (you can also request my least favorite thing) tag: #multiship ask

You can submit your own Tav Questions!

Send me your Tav details and I will tell you how my Tavs would react to them!

Fic Masterlist

BG3 Character Profiles

Atlas - (he/him) Tiefling Paladin who is romancing Wyll. He can be a touch ornery but ultimately a good person. He was raised by a warlock on a farm on the edge of Rivington.

Kelandrin - (he/him) Drow Durge Paladin who is romancing Astarion. He is very evil, obsessive, and has a skewed concept of “love.” The only form of love he knows is religious submission.

Mavrin - (he/they) Half-Elf Durge Sorcerer who is romancing Gale. He is very troubled by his urge and hates feeling out of control of his body and mind.

Kalan - (he/they) Drow/elf ranger who is romancing Halsin. Says he doesn’t have a daddy complex but like…

Xyrra - (she/they/he) Lythari druid in lore but just plain elf druid in game. Romancing Shadowheart but it hard since Xyrra shapeshifts into a wolf.

Natlia - (she/her) Tiefling sorcerer/bard who is romancing Karlach. She starts off with a cynical streak because her fiancée was murdered and the Flaming Fist didn’t do jack to find his killer. She learns to move forwards over the course of the game.

Livna - (she/her) Drow durge monk who is romancing Lae’zel. She is looking for her next physical high all the time.

Vald - (he/him) Drow durge hexblade warlock who is romancing Minthara. He is very loyal by nature and easily molded by more dominant personalities.

Mutuals & Their Tavs

🚧 ⚠️ 🏗️ Sorry in advance if I missed anyone some people show up as following only on one blog etc. just @ me if I messed up or if I have any wrong tav info!

@tavsboots Velric - (he/him) Tiefling Fighter/warlock who is romancing Astarion and has the most beautiful beard. I'm sorry he was a PIRATE??? That is sick as hell.

@koalamatcha Crozier - (he/him) A "jaded" half-elf who romanced Astarion and I am told he is quite handsome!

@the-real-housewives-of-waterdeep Dulcinea Gohar Selemchant - (she/her) A human wizard turned fighter. The world's most beautiful rich girl. She is gorgeous and knows how to work a ballroom.

@desperatewomenenjoyer Durik/Дурик - (she/her) a drow bard who is romancing Minthara. She went from a pretty nice person (if you ignore what she did in the grove) to pretty jaded and manipulative over the course of the story. Love that for her.

@baldurspeen69420 Izra - (she/her) A githyanki monk who super duper promises she isn't questioning her queen.

Sophie - (she/her) If one more person calls her ugly I am letting Gale nuke the city. She is a half-orc and the prettiest girl at the party as far as I'm concerned!

@punk-muffins Daemys Daezorwyn - (she/her) She was raised in a monastery and trained to be a monk, later picking up fighter skills as well. She is romancing Gale.

@ellekhen Church - (he/him) A tiefling warlock who is romancing Astarion. You gotta check out ElleKhen's fanfiction!

@phoenixspencer Arali - (she/her) A tiefling who grew up in Baldur’s gate. She romanced Astarion!

Calryn - (he/him) A lolth sworn bloodhunter durge who is romancing Astarion. Very handsome.

@thecrowandtheraven08 Cassian - (they/them) A lolth sworn cleric who the more I learn about the sadder I get :( Recently learned what happened to their fiance. They are romancing Astarion and Halsin and I hope they get healed and cherished.

@spacebarbarianweird Tyreal - (she/her) is a half-elf barbarian who is romancing Astarion. They have a dhampir daughter together named Alethaine!

@primal-savagery Velvela - (she/her) A drow druid/fighter/cleric who is romancing Astarion. She is super pretty!

@taras-toe-beans Izzrhys - (he/him) A drow oath of devotion paladin. He is kinda messed up from the drow matriarchy which is honestly fair. He is paried with Gale!

Aratris - (they/them) A half-wood elf circle of the moon druid who spends a lot of time as an owlbear.

Leoryn - (they/them) A high elf lore college bard.

Talaak - (she/her) A durge silver dragonborn storm sorcerer.

Aesir - (they/them) A half high elf thief subclass rogue who was a preexisting dnd character!

Tag Guide

Special tags I use that aren’t common

#tavspawn - any posts featuring kids of tavs or canon characters

#bloodpact - wyllstarion ship name

#all the gods we cannot save - my large fic project for the supernatural/urban fantasy au

Dumb Discourse Disclaimer

Anything where anyone says another person’s interpretation of a character is wrong. I just like seeing people be happy. Sometimes someone else’s happiness includes reading a character differently than you do. This includes but isn’t limited to: spawn batstarion, transcharacter readings, autistic character readings, tavxorigin children, straight people, lesbians, asexual astarion, sexual astarion, tavxraphael, top raphael, dad gale, women, things contrary to “canon”, and that ship you find annoying.

#atlas #bio

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mebemilena · 4 months

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Maya's worst student

English is not my first language, sorry for mistakes. I'm SLOWLY getting back to writing fanfiction.

Female reader, but i think i didn't mention pronouns. It's kinda of an AU

summary: You're Maya's worst student.

When you decided to learn ASL you thought an online dictionary would be enough. But as you got more into it, you realized that nothing is better than having someone to practice with you. Just as any other language, having a practice partner was way better than just repeating the signs along the lady on the screen of your computer.

You looked for a local partner, someone who lived close to you so you could go out and practice daily vocabulary. The website suggested a nearby professor and you contacted her, finding out she was a cousin of a friend of yours.

"Maya Lopez", you practiced her name in signs, not wanting to embarrass yourself when you first met. Her profile showed a short video of her introducing herself and welcoming the new students.

Maya was a kick boxing fighter. She was born deaf and worked with her cousin fixing cars and motorbikes. She liked opened spaces and ice cream, and her favorite color was red.

You could learn all that information from her video.

The first meeting was for introduction and practicing the alphabet. You learned her sign and she came up with one for youseslf, as you slowly bonded. A month later, you noticed your vocabulary growing but it was still very limited. Even with a tutor and the online dictionary, you felt like you still had difficulties in learning.

You and Maya became friends and your teacher-student relationship was mostly put aside. She'd take you for sweets, teaching you the signs to order her favorites, and you'd show her more about yourself, asking how to sign for this and that.

It was easy to have her around and you enjoyed each other's presence a little too much. You caught yourself thinking about her, planning small dates with her with the excuse of them being extra classes.

"I think I'll ask her out. Like, on a date.", you mentioned to Biscuits, her cousin and your friend, making him smile wildly. "That'd be nice.", he encouraged. "She'd liked that.", he said.

Biscuits was known for giving out too much information without being asked to. He was just that naive. His little confirmation made your heart jump on its cage. You let his words sink into you and gave it deep thought, postponing your meetings with Maya as you debated how to approach her, not noticing it actually put some distance between you two.

- - -

Maya sit on the outside of her favorite bakery, playing with a croissant on her plate. You were supposed to meet her one hour ago. At first she thought you were just late, but now it seemed like you were not coming at all.

She tried texting you, getting no reply. When she was about to put her phone back in her pocket, ready to leave, you arrived approaching her table in a rush.

She looked at you with a serious expression, crossing her arms in front of her, waiting for you to explain why you were so late and hadn't texted her.

You noticed she was upset and felt guilty. You could have texted her before but you were too busy learning the signs to confess, but now you were so nervous it seemed like you forgot even the letters of your own name.

Maya realized you were not gonna speak so she took the lead. She was tired of fooling around.

"I can't be your teacher anymore. I fell in love with you, this is not professional.", she signed, an unbothered expression on her face. As if she was not opening her heart to you.

You looked at her with lots of concentration, but could only understand a few signs. At times like this, you realized you really needed more practice.

"I know we became friends and i like what we have. But this can't continue.", she went on, still standing by the table. "Whenever we meet, i want to hold you. When we're together i want to be close to you, to feel you. It's okay if you don't feel the same, i just really wanted you to know.", she placed her hands on her pockets, trying to be patient and give you time. it didn't last long.

"Say something!", she pushed, irritated that you were just staring at her this whole time.

"I don't understand.", you signed slowly, disappointed at your own lack of vocabulary.

Maya huffed. She signed to you again but it made no difference. "I don't understand. Sorry.", you repeated. She grew more impatient.

"Download a dictionary and go study more.You sign like shit", she signed, scolding you for being her worst student.

"That i understand.", you replied, your hands moving a bit faster for the signs you were more familiar with.

Maya looked at you and took a deep breath. Again. "You're silly. And beautiful. It feels nice to be around you, i have a lot of fun when we hang out. But we can't be friends.", she finished.

You looked at her confused. "We can't be friends? Why?", you asked, sadness adorning your face.

"I don't want to be your friend. I want to kiss you.", she signed and waited for you to reply, expectation boiling in her insides.

But you only stared at her confused. "I don't understand."

Maya lost her temper. It was infuriating how she was trying to confess and you were clearly not studying half of what you should. She took you by the collar and kissed you full on the mouth, feeling your lips vibrate as you hummed in surprise.

"You understand that?', she signed exasperatedly, waiting for you to finally say something.

"I don't understand.", you started. Maya was ready to throw you inside the bakkery through the window but you continued.

"If you kiss me again maybe i understand better.", you signed in reply and her annoyance slowly faded.

Check out my redbubble shop: https://www.redbubble.com/people/MilenaFernandes/shop?asc=u

toss a coin to your artist (me) at ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/mebemilena

#maya lopez #maya lopez x reader #echo #alaqua cox #mcu

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pinkgy · 2 months

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♡ Seraph Reader Fic Polls Results ♡

After procrastinating this for a little while, here it is.

1st Poll: This poll was about the reader's pronouns and gender, and with 44.4%, the fic will have a Fem Reader with GN Pronouns

2nd Poll: Probably the most important poll, the L.I of the fic, Lucifer won to the surprise of absolutely no one. Tbh I used two of my unused Tumblr accounts just to vote for Lucifer :)

3rd 4th and 5th Polls: The following polls were the ones about the relationship between the reader and the other seraphs, I'll just put them together.

Gabriel: The comment I put under this poll might have worked :D Because the Very Good option won, I have a vision y'all, if any option below "Very Good" had won I would've had to change some things from my original idea for the fic.

Michael: His relationship with the reader is Neutral, but since the "Very good" was a close second ... that neutrality might change a bit later.

Raphael: They are also Neutral, but "Good" was a really close second by like 1%, so the same as Michael goes for him.

6th Poll: This poll was about the reader's love for God, and with 44.5 %, the reader Loves God, but they're not crazy in love.

7th Poll: The other option in the 2nd Poll was Satan, and since Lucifer is the love interest for the fic, this poll was to decide the relationship between Satan and the reader, and they are Secret Besties :D

8th Poll: So, we know that Seraphs are pretty strong, so this poll was to decide how the reader is in terms of power, and they are pretty normal, not too strong, not too weak, they are kind of average for a Seraph.

9th Poll: Just because this is a Character x Reader fic it doesn't mean the other kings will not be included, and according to the results of this poll, the reader does know who they are, but they haven't met personally. I like that this option won because it leaves some creative freedom to me, who knows what might happen :x.

10th and 11th Poll: These Polls were forms, they were about the reader's alias and philia, for the alias one there were no answers lol, but for the philia one there were 2 :D One anon said that reader had all philias (Like Solomon) and another anon said Size kink, since there were only 2 it makes no sense to make a poll about this, so reader has all philia but their weakness is Size Kink. I loved the results of this poll, it fits with the love interest iykyk.

As for the alias ... I'll keep that for another post where I'm going to do a little character profile for the reader, I'll leave that poll open anyways until I make that post.

That was all for the polls! I'm quite satisfied with the results, if I don't get another writer's block I'm going to post the synopsis in a few days, I need to finish the request I'm currently working on and then I'll post that.

Thank you so much to everyone who answered the polls ! ♡

Hope y'all have an amazing day ♡♡♡

#whb #what in “hell” is bad?#prettybusy what in “hell” is bad?#pinkgy's seraph fic ♡

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charmingpplincardigans · 10 months

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IT IS TIME...to make an old-fashioned embarrassing text post like those days of yore before my old therapist started doing CBT.

So, I started an OK Cupid account. It’s kind of a big step, and also something I’ve been joking about for more than a year. Just any time something funny or self-deprecating (or vaguely dirty) came up I’d be like ‘putting that on the OKC profile!’ In the end my OKC profile is pretty tame. Maybe too tame really. I should probably rewrite my bio so I sound nerdier and more romantic or something.

ANYWAY. The point is, it’s scary, knowing that in order to be loved you must submit to the ordeal of being known or whatever, but I took a tiny step which feels like a huge step after ten eleven years of singlehood and touch starvedness. Now I just need someone to message me so I can take another small terrifying step and meet them. And so on and so on. It’s just fear all the way down with me when it comes to intimacy. IT’S FINE. I EMAILED A POSSIBLE THERAPIST THIS EVENING.

Last weekend I met with a friend who just graduated library school and talked to her about how to find a job and such. It was cathartic, and also heartening. I really do have a lot of practical skills from the work I’ve been doing for fifteen years now. She said I have experience with things they didn’t even really learn in grad school, that she’s had to learn on the job. That makes me feel a little better. I still worry about how glutted the librarian market is up here, but there really are a ton of library jobs to apply for in all different industries, so I’ll probably find something that will pay me enough and not murder me eventually.

(My Indeed email today had a listing for a Digital Archivist for the MFA but the pay only went up to $49K??? THAT’S LESS THAN THE TOO LITTLE I’M MAKING NOW. God I’d love to work at the MFA though. CAN YOU IMAGINE? Do I just apply anyway and then be like, just kidding, I want $70K, thanks.)

I’ve also been using they/them pronouns at work with select people. Mostly with my boss and within the Queer ERG channels. And I guess with my grand boss, who guessed it all on her own through a series of slightly hilarious events. I’m not demanding anything, and I still have they/she in my signature because I hate rocking boats and know that I’m femme a lot of the time so I know how people will see me and I don’t want to fight with everyone ever about it and yada yada. Maeve says that’s stupid. She’s probably right, but like. Maybe if I find a new therapist they can help me work through that. I’ve been taking up more space lately, but still not as much as a person probably should.

Like I said, baby steps.

Anyway, my boss saw me list myself as they/them in an ERG meeting this morning and during our one-on-one later she said she was proud of me for all of the hard, scary stuff I’ve been doing lately. (Which she knows about because we talk about work approximately half the time when we talk.) It feels silly to be proud of it all, because most people do this at like, 20, right? All of it. Being able to date, knowing who you are, knowing what kind of job you want. But because she’s a good person she reminded me that when I was 15 and 20 I wasn’t in places where it was safe to make some of these decisions, or even if it was, I didn’t have the support for them. So yeah, I’m proud of it all.

In the last twenty-five years I’ve gone from suicidal to ambivalent to apathetic to super depressed to figuring it out to figuring it out to figuring it out. I’m still figuring it out. But I have an excellent support system. I have people who love me and want to know the whole me. Want me to know the whole me. I have tools to help myself emotionally. I have hope.

I can lament over the lost time, or I can look ahead with a mind to make use of all the time I have left. I maybe got here a little bit after everyone else. I may still be working toward it, but I’m here and I’m working. I’m doing hard, scary things, and that’s what being alive is all about, right?

#no one cares kl #kl has perfectly reasonable feelings actually #they just ummmmmm fluctuate

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sakurainhellagain · 10 days

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OC profile: Sakura

Got tagged by @daemon-in-my-head (tyvm ❤️),

tagging @bhaalbabebardlock and @pixie-in-a-moonlantern if you want 😄

Basics

Full name: Sakura, because she can´t remember her own name and Enver suggested he would call her like that.

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Pronouns: She/her

Other:

Father: biological; Bhaal, adopted; -

Mother: biological; Bhaal, adopted; not really adopted, but rescued from a rich woman who transferred her to Baldur´s Gate. The woman taught her several skills and looked after her, but not as a mother would do.

Siblings: biological; Sarevok Anchev, adopted; - but there were other kids living with her in the house which belonged to the rich woman.

Birthplace: In a village near Uwaji, capital city of Wa. Bhaal thought she would be safer in her first years if she grows up far away from Baldur´s Gate.

Job: As kid she learned to dance and she performed on stage, working for the woman who rescued her. Later she became the leader of the cult of Bhaal.

Phobias: Loosing control over herself, to be useless

Guilty Pleasures: loves to dance, enjoys nature (night and day), fashion

Alignment: sometimes chaotic evil, sometimes chaotic neutral. She struggles most of the time because she doesn´t know what she wants.

Sins: greed, wrath and also murder, vivisections, extortion (everything that gets her faster to her goal)

Virtues: loyality to her allies, very skilled at murdering

This or That:

Introvert/Extrovert: She can be both, depends on her mood

Organized/Disorganized: Organized, because she had to learn it as a kid

Close-Minded/Open-Minded: open-minded, else she would have had difficulties with a whole new culture far away from her homeland.

Calm/Anxious/Restless: Calm, she rests in herself for the most of the time

Disagreeable/Agreeable/In-Between: As kid agreeable, but the older she gets the more in-between it is.

Cautious/Reckless: Cautious most of the time. She enjoys watching other people interact, but if it is not the outcome she wants she goes in between.

Outspoken/Reserved/In-between: In-between, because she is curious and sometimes she can´t keep her mouth shut.

Leader/Follower/Flexible: Flexible, but prefers to follow

Empathic/Unempathic/In-between: Empathic, she knows exactly how the others feel and uses it for her advantage.

Traditional/Modern/In-between: Mostly traditional, but sometimes she wants to try something new.

Hard working/Lazy: Hard working, because her past life consisted of hard work. But she knows her limits and stops if it is too much.

Relationships:

OTP: Gortash, for sure. There was no one else in her life whom she trusted more.

BrOTP: Astarion, because he reminds her of someone and he has no problem with murder. Shadowheart, she tries to comfort her about the memory loss.

NOTP: This is difficult... uh I guess Wyll? Because she could not understand why someone sells his soul for the greater good and puts the needs of others/strangers over their own.

I don´t know if this makes any sense or if there are inconsistencies. Took me longer as I expected and am tired rn 😴

But I had a lot of fun 😉

#oc: sakura #durge oc #dark urge #bg3 #bg3 durge #durge spoilers #bg3 spoilers #bg3 gortash #durge

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smallestapplin · 2 years

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Ok tho! For my request, could I request Raihan and Leon protecting and comforting their trans masc s/o from homophobic/transphobic family? Kinda like you did with the obsessive ex ones?

Tired of people thinking that constant emotional and physical abuse is some kind of love language lol. Sorry if this is like, heavy (feel free to ignore it btw I'm gunna be fine in the end, just annoyed to hell at how much contact people can still manage to have with you despite trying to be completely no contact)

-🦄

I understand! I hope you’re doing well. (I meant to get this out yesterday.)

Reader uses he/him pronouns and masc descriptors.

CW : for homophobia, transphobia. (But not explicit explicit, as that makes me uncomfy)

🐉Raihan🐉

- he was already aware of your family, and their dislike (to put it lightly) of you essentially. It was one of those things you two had a heart to heart on, late at night.

- It broke his heart to see you cry, just how upset you were that you had to go no contact with your old family. But you had to, for the sake of your own mental health and safety.

- Raihan vowed right then and there that he won’t let another soul hurt you.

- Everyone in Galar knows who you are, Raihan is never quiet about you and his love for you.

- Most of Raihan’s posts are ‘out with my man!’ And it’s a picture of you two, getting lunch after a battle, ‘I got the handsomest dork around.’ It’s a picture of your excited face over some merch, ‘he fell for my trap! >:3’ and the most common being Raihan trapping you, in his arms so you can’t move, or leave.

- It’s always so cute, the fans love seeing all the stupidly domesticate photos.

- Your family however, also saw them.

- Any of their comments were shortly deleted and they were blocked. Every profile they made was just blocked and reported.

- Raihan refused to let you see that, especially from them.

- He wants to keep you happy and safe, safer and happier.

- He made a post earlier that day, saying ‘get you a man who comes to your work place with your favorite for lunch😩’

- You couldn’t stick around, however, work needed you, so you gave him a hug and a kiss before leaving. Making a pit stop to the bathroom first, but still telling him you’d have to instantly leave once you’re done.

- His own students laugh at his pouting face.

- He hasn’t been expecting your parents of all people, to show up.

- The tension in the gym was thick, the air suffocating the second he saw them.

- His students tried to keep Raihan from lunging at them, when they asked for someone who doesn’t exist.

- His grin was filled with malice “oh that’s too bad! Sorry to hear your delusional, ain’t nobody I know named that.”

- Oh but they argued.

- They didn’t get far though before Raihan called a life long ban for them, and anyone associated with them.

- Tossing out his flygon, he had the large dragon drag them out of his gym. Raihan follows close behind, just so he could slam the door in their faces.

- “Raihan?”

- He snaps his head towards you, he nearly forgot you were simply in the bathroom.

- “Hey handsome!” He didn’t want to admit he was nervous.

- He knows you likely heard, if not, saw all of that.

- You just walk over and hug him, he can feel the tension in your body.

- How you shake, sighing against his chest.

- His arms are around you in a firm grip.

- The dragon type gym leader is livid, you shouldn’t have to deal with this!

- “Call out of work, we are goin home.”

- “Huh? Rai I-“

- “Ah ah ah! You need a spa day! A self care day! And I’m going to make sure you get.”

👑Leon👑

- he’s just as upset as you are, that you had to cut contact with your family.

- Leon has always been a big family man, they mean the world to him! He couldn’t imagine not having their support, and love.

- Which is why he was ecstatic when his family welcomed you with open arms.

- He was more worried about Hop liking you. But you and Hop get along like best friends, so he was thrilled.

- Leon always gushes about you, everyone who has met Leon knows about you. He just can’t help himself! He loves you so much.

- He’s aware of your situation with your ex family, and he promises he will do everything he can.

- It’s no secret you’re dating the champion of Galar.

- Any remarks about you, his and your sexuality, or your gender are completely shut down. He refuses to tolerate any of it.

- Your birth givers were no exception.

- In fact not only was he at your defense, ready to battle, but so was Hop, grandma, grandpa, and mom.

- “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about!”

- You’re in shock and awe at how Leon, your sweet dorky Leon, lays into them, scolding them harshly.

- Humiliating them and berating them for every hurting you and trying to hurt you now.

- He will not just stand there and let them do such things!

- The second they are gone he’s at your side, gently shushing you, and holding you, rocking you both softly.

- “Are you alright, love?”

- “I’m fine…thank you.” You just lay your head on his shoulder, trying to calm your own nerves.

- He will stay here for as long as it takes.

- He loves you.

#tw.transphobia #tw.homophobia #pokemon #pokemon imagines #pokemon x reader #pokémon #pokemon swsh #pokemon swsh x reader #pokemon leon #pokemon leon x reader #pokemon raihan #pokemon raihan x reader #trans masc reader #x ftm reader #pokemon x trans reader

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