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#and i dont give a single flying fuck if i 'should' learn how to cope blab blahhhhh
bunnihearted · 25 days
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i thinkk that a huge part of why im so deeply unhappy is bc im a girl who is supposed to and needs to have a girl bestie - my other half. ever since i was a kid i've always had a girl friend who was my other half and who i talked to and hung out with every single day. now when i dont have that, and when it's also been 6 years since my last friendship like that, i feel profoundly lost and alone. i need another woman close to me who i love and can anchor myself in. who is my compass, my stars, my solid ground. lacking the love, support, comfort, loyalty and security of a strong and forceful love and friendship with another woman, i feel incomplete and lonely and unhappy. like something fundamentally important to the essence of my being is missing. and it completely messes with me on every level of my life.
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hussyknee · 1 year
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Every time I think white and Western leftists can't disappoint me more, they prove me wrong.
Y'all memefied the threat of war with Iran following the assassination of Soleimani, the Australian wildfires that razed Aboriginal communities to the ground, Black Lives Matter, the fall of Afghanistan, the Russian invasion of Ukraine and Putin, and the mass protests in Sri Lanka. The No Fly List has been leaked for the first time since 2014, showing that the majority of it are in there for the crime of having Muslim and Russian names, taking part in anti-war protests and being a child while Muslim. And now y'all have started merchandising the memes?
Every single time we point out that the suffering of diasporas and the Global South is not yours to joke about, we are inundated with screeching about how y'all need them to '''''cope'''' with having woken up to the fact that other people have been living in a fascist dystopia, that memes spread "awareness", that it's unfair to take the jokes to mean you don't care, and "we can be concerned about two things at once". Meanwhile, the jokes and memes and white coping drown out the voices of BIPoC and Eastern Europeans almost entirely. Then you forget all about us and eventually say that nothing we did made any difference, fighting the state is hopeless, and meme some more.
At this point I can only imagine that you wander into random people's funerals, crack jokes about the dead guy to his family and sell funeral t-shirts in exchange for telling everyone else that they're dead. "Well why can't we celebrate and uplift queer people?" – you mean white and Western queer people, because it's sure as hell not our queer people who're getting profiled and bombed and starved.
"That's not my experience of what we did" – we do not care. Your experience of your own actions, of how events unfolded for you and of our hurt and our suffering is utterly irrelevant. You do not get a say on whether you're hurting us. You don't get to police our tone and wording and anger. You don't get to weigh in with your white guilt and white defensiveness and Western and white privilege and pathological need to be the Main Character in every situation. "Why is this so guilt-tripping" that's your white guilt, Karen. The fact that you only just woke up to all the ways you've been asleep is your white privilege. Your inability to boost our voices and center us without any commentary and not speak for us is white supremacy. Your consistent focus on valorizing activists and advocates and centering white saviours is white supremacy. Your making money and fame off "raising awareness" and "educating" other people about our suffering is capitalist exploitation and white supremacy. You are not living through a "major historical event", we are. Every damn day.
Those of you who don't behave like this will never chime in and tell your racist fellows "hey stop that, that's fucked up! That's racist! Shut up!" You dont look for resources yourself, dont accept that maybe we can't provide solutions every time we raise concerns, that maybe your allyship should be about self-reflection and learning how to handle your own emotions without taking up all the air in a room.
This shit is fucking constant. Every single time. We are suffocating. Even with all of that, do you have any idea of the amount of patience and understanding and forebearance we have tried to give you?
Edit: btw the trans femme of colour who uses it/its pronouns that said "please stop memeing about our very serious issue, go read these sources, pay attention to this bill, if you care then act like it"? Y'all sent it so much racist hate that it had to deactivate. But yeah, y'all care about queer people. Lmao.
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#100 Song Lyric Prompts
No one specifically requested, but I wanted to do this so bad! Here we go...
“Will nature make a man of me yet?”- The Smiths, This Charming Man
“If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?”- Lynyrd Skynyrd, Free Bird
“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her.”- Hozier, Work Song
“I don’t think that we should be alone together, when we’re in a room you get my eyes, you open your mouth I’m hypnotised”- The Neighbourhood, Single
“She looks as if she’s blowing a kiss at me and suddenly the sky is a scissor”- Arctic Monkeys, That’s where you’re wrong
“You think you want to be alone, just wait until you’re crying on the shower floor” “They’ve got a pretty face, but they’ve got a pretty empty head.” “But how the hell do you fall in love, the last time I checked you can’t fall in slow mo”- LANY- The Breakup *There were too many good ones in this song, I couldn’t help myself*
“I know it’s mad, but if I go to hell will you go with me or just leave?” - Panic! At The Disco, Do you know what I'm seeing?
“I don’t know who’s protecting me, but we hit it off”- Drake, Sandra’s Rose
“Do me a favour and break my nose, do me a favour and tell me to go away?”- Arctic monkeys, Do me a favour
“Baby just came back around, said she needs time to explore, said I can’t love her no more”- The Neighbourhood, Baby came home
“Just one mistake, you say you’re not in love no more, but was it really love if you can leave me for something so innocent is this the end?”- LANY, Thick and thin
“You can have Manhattan, I know it’s for the best, I’ll gather up the avenues and leave them on your doorstep. I’ll tiptoe away so you won’t have to say you heard me leave.” “You can have Manhattan, the one we used to share, the one where we were laughing and drunk on just being there. Hang onto the reverie, could you do that for me?”- Sara Bareilles, Manhattan
“You don’t love me, big fucking deal, I’ll never tell you how I feel.” “I'll send my best regards from Hell”- Marina and the Diamonds, Starring Role
“I been writing these songs ‘bout how I can’t be with you. I don’t want to be a monster, but I’ve been here for days, drinking too much now I want you, can’t get you off my brain.”- Henry, Monster, Eng. version
“Change lives, get better, yeah that be the plan” “That’s why you see me winning, yeah, even after I lose”- Jay Park, Ask bout me
“Love is not looking over shoulders, Love is you should trust what I told you” “Love is not struggling to say I love you”- 6LACK, Disconnect
“All these people taking miles when you give them an inch, all these followers but who's gonna follow me until the end?”- Drake, Emotionless
“She’s in the rain, you wanna hurt yourself I’ll stay with you, you wanna make yourself go through that pain, It’s better to be held than holding on,”- The Rose, She’s In The Rain *Absolutely love this one, don’t @ me, I will die for the The Rose**
“Sex by the fire at night”- Bruno Mars, That’s What I Like
“I’ve got the good side of you, sent it out into the blue.”- Troye Sivan, Good Side
“Standing by the window, rain falling, I want to have you full in my embrace and tell you, even when I’m born again and love you, even then, will you be with me?”- KREAM, 선물 Gift *Translated*
“It all passes, Someday, For sure, Certainly”- RM, ft. NELL, everythingoes *Translated*
“Please stay as long as you need, can't promise that things won't be broken, but I swear that I will never leave. Please stay forever with me”- Sleeping With Sirens, Scene One- James Dean & Audrey Hepburn
“When you move, I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement
“Wake up and smell the coffee, is your cup half full or empty?”- Billie Eilish, come out and play
“Am I a bad person? Or am I just in pain?”- DEAN, Sulli, Rad Museum, Dayfly *Translated*
“Kiss me on the lips, a secret just between the two of us, deeply poisoned by the jail of you, I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew the grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway”- BTS, Blood Sweat & Tears *Translated*
“When the sun sets and darkness comes, I only remember your warmth, where the stars wrap around us. I’m going there, I’ll be there”- SEVENTEEN, Highlight *Translated*
“I don't ever wanna feel like anything I do ever had a fucking resonance or meant a thing to you.”- Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes, I Hate You
“You can’t take this away from me, the way I hit the melody, the waves bring clarity, running through me”- Tom Misch, Del La Soul, It Runs Through Me
“It was a lie when they smiled and said you won’t feel a thing”- My Chemical Romance, Disenchanted
“The fog has lifted and things get clear, all the lies pass by like a reel of film. I hate you”- EXO, 내가 미쳐 (Going Crazy) *Translated*
“I’m sorry- no, I’m not sorry, I’m just getting started and my life’s a party”- DEAN, Eric Bellinger, I’m Not Sorry
“Ain’t it fun, living in the real world?”- Paramore, Ain’t It Fun
“Ready or not, we are coming back- yeah, we’re over, we can tell you ‘bout what you need. You can look it up when you’re older”- Evergreen, Cargo Cult
“You, you got so much potential, every moment spent with you I bet was always eventful”- Aminé, Kehlani, Heebiejeebies- Bonus
“Could you imagine the taste of your lips if we never tried to kiss on the drive to Queens? 'Cause I imagine the weight of your ribs if you lied between my hips in the backseat”- Halsey, Roman Holiday
“Forever isn’t for everyone, is forever for you?”- Arctic Monkeys, Snap Out Of It
“Wish you good luck being lonely, I’mma push red every time you phone me. You vow to be a memory”- Ella Mai, ft. Ty Dolla $ign, She Don’t
“I’ve been dazed and confused from the day I met you, yeah I lost my head and I’d do it again”- Ruel, Dazed & Confused
“I just want you closer, is that alright? Baby let's get closer tonight”- Paolo Nutini, Last request
“You have no idea how pretty you are when you wake from sleep, you have no idea how beautiful you look as you get ready for bed”- Zion.T, No Makeup *Translated*
“I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight, baby, ‘cos I can’t get you off my mind”- Shawn Mendes, Lost In Japan
“She's soothing like the ocean rushing on the sand, she takes care of me, baby, she helps me be a better man. She's so beautiful, sometimes I stop to close my eyes, she's exactly what I need”- Jeremy Passion, Lemonade
“And her lips are like the galaxy's edge and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place”- Arctic Monkeys, Arabella
“It's how you look, not how you feel. A city of glass with no heart”- Queens of the Stone Age, If I Had a Tail
“I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife”- Hozier, Take Me To Church
“Bitter and hardened heart, Oh, aching- waiting for life to start”- Keane, Bend & Break
“When you move I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement
“She said, ‘Baby, I'm afraid to fall in love, 'cause what if it's not reciprocated?’ I told her, ‘Don't rush girl, don’t you rush, guess it's all a game of patience.’”- Pink Sweat$, Honesty
“Share a casket with you, we’ll be buried alive, me and her playing truth ‘til the day we die.”- Granata Ft. Phoniks, You Dont Need Me
“And hope that I had survived yesterday, and today is jealous of tomorrow.”- Emeli Sandé, Breathing Underwater
“Heaven if you sent us down so we could build a playground for the sinners to play as saints, you'd be so proud of what we've made.” Stephen, Crossfire
“Tell me how do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night? How do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night?”- blackbear, make daddy proud
“If anyone looks perfect, you look perfect next to me.”- Nick Wilson, Obsolete
“When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you were my future), I’ll know (I was your yesterday). When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you protected me), I’ll know (I desired you).”- SEVENTEEN (Wen Junhui & Xu Minghao), My I *Translated*
“I need my sex n’ drugs, I need my money first, bless me with all my sins.”- Abhi The Nomad, Ft. Harrison Sands & Copper King, Sex ‘n Drugs
“Naked and fallin' in love, look here I got you. Safe where there's no one to judge, keep it insightful.”- Keiynan Lonsdale, Preach
“All alone, all we know is haunting me, making it harder to breathe, harder to breathe.”- The Neighbourhood, Leaving Tonight
“Now I see you get off of the subway, haven't seen you in months but it's okay. I'd forgotten but I feel the same, hate that I still wish you were...”- Claud, Wish You Were Gay
“A perfect stranger lying next to me, he's playing God with broken figurines. He keeps calling me his little queen and I believe.”- Jake Wesley Rogers, Little Queen (This song deserves way more recognition, make sure to give it a listen!)
“Hell is so close to Heaven, hell is so close to Heaven. Hold on don't look back, you know we're better- we’re better than that. Lost and thrown away, you know we're better- we’re better than that.”- Sleeping With Sirens, The Strays
“Alone tonight, I’m drawing my dreams across the sky farther than I can imagine- She wants it.”- CIX, Movie Star *Translated*
“Yeah I mixed words and some whiskey on the flight just to make sure I landed on time and I wrote me a song I could sing just in case I forgot everything.”- Marc E. Bassy, Last One I Love
“Don't ask questions you don't wanna know, learned my lesson way too long ago.” “Deadly fever, please don't ever break, be my reliever 'cause I don't self medicate”- Billie Eilish, my strange addiction
“And it's worth it, it's divine, I have this some of the time.”- Hozier, Cherry Wine
“And I realize you're mine, Indeed, a fool am I.”- Queens of the Stone Age, No One Knows
“Look in the mirror ‘til I forget everything I know, everything I did was just a way to make the time feel faster.”- Miya Folick, Stock Image
“Do you feel how I feel? Are you numb? Do you tread crystal waters, bound to be stung? Are you scared? If I see you, we're upon, will you dye your hair dark so you're no longer blonde?”- Isaac Dunbar, Cologne
“Tell me; To you I’m bad & hurtful. Because I’ve been busy, you’re hurting. Bad, bad, bad, I’m bad, bad.”- Crush, NAPPA (나빠) *Translated*
“Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of: A. Indifference or B. disinterest to what the critics say.”- Panic! At The Disco, London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines
“‘Cause you don’t say what you feel, I'm the one driving but you take the wheel. You wanna wait, 'til we're older, I'm the one who started this, but now I just want closure.”- Ieuan, Closure
“Our names carved in the pavement, sealed by what's left of our handprints, now. I told my mom, she'd love to meet you, but it's too bad she won't get the chance to.”- COIN, Malibu 1992
“I'm running outta time to hold you close, running outta time to be your man. I'm just lost in this moment, I've been zoning.”- blackbear, 4u
“Standing on your mama's porch, you told me that you'd wait forever. Oh and when you held my hand, I knew that it was now or never”- Bryan Adams, Summer Of ‘69
“I'll go out, grow my hair too long, sing your least favourite songs at the top of my lungs. I'll go out, kiss all of your friends, make a story and pretend it was me who made this end.”- The Vamps, Hair Too Long
“Getting my mind right, I'll wait 'til the time's right. I'm meaning to tell you why it's hard to sleep at night. There's nothing to fear now, girl, we should be here now. So why don't you hear me out?”- Jeremy Zucker, Ft. blackbear, talk is overrated
“We haven't spoke since you went away, comfortable silence is so overrated. Why won't you ever be the first one to break? Even my phone misses your call, by the way.”- Harry Styles, From the Dining Table
“Look overhead at the stars and the ocean, foggy emotions, moments, erosion. This supernova could cause a commotion, my minds of the notion, you'll still be my motive”- Ansel Elgort, Supernova
“I love that new dress you bought, yeah, you sure look nice. Heard you liked that new restaurant, you know, I've been there twice. And the way that you switch up your hair, all of the moments we've shared, strolling the streets back in Rome, oh, how I wish I was there. It ain't fair.”- Ruel, Face To Face
“Welcome to your life, there's no turning back. Even while we sleep we will find you acting on your best behaviour, turn your back on mother nature.”- Tear For Fears, Everybody Wants to Rule the World
“I'm wide awake, not losing any sleep, I picked up every piece and landed on my feet. I'm wide awake, need nothing to complete myself, no.” Katy Perry, Wide Awake
“If you don't realize, all of the things your life can do you will be left behind, swept up by the storm of those you knew.”- Meltycanon, thankful
“I always knew that we'd be by each other's side forever, now our time has come and I'd be satisfied if we died together. Yeah, our climate's fucked, we might as well enjoy the weather, our time is up and I'd be satisfied if we died together.”- Samsa, Anthropocene
“There's still so much to say, I'm faded, broken, pretending you're on the line, wasting my time. Sinking deeper, watching you spend your night, like I'll be fine and I'll be over this.”- NYK, Faded
“I’d rather go to hell, than be in purgatory, cut my hair, gag and bore me, pull this pin, let this world explode.”- My Chemical Romance, Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
“I reached for a shooting star, it burned a hole through my hand Made its way through my heart, had fun in the promised land.”- blink-182, Wishing Well
“Let go of your baggage, but don’t think I don’t understand it’s probably a challenge,”- Isaac Lewis, Fly
“It's been a long night in New York city, it's been a long night in Baton Rouge. I don't remember you looking any better, but then again, I don't remember you.”- John Mayer, Who Says
“They say that love kills, it ain't quite what it seems, don't be shocked when you lost what you called ‘meant to be’.”- StayLoose, Bryce Fox, Sociopath
“When they come for You, I will shield Your name, I will field their questions, I will feel Your pain.”- Kanye West, Ultralight Beam
“Two steps forward, one step back and it won’t be long til my heart attack, yup! And common sense falls second place to the way it feels when you kiss my face, yup!”- The Band CAMINO, 2 / 14
“Leaving empty souls when he avenged, evil spirits flowed, he drank the blood like lemonade.”- Morcheeba, Blood Like Lemonade
“Your smile will become a classic; the brilliance of sunlight, the haziness of the moonlight exist for the sake of promises.”- WayV, Moonwalk
Dear God, I hope you got the letter and I pray you can make it better down here. I don't need a big reduction in the price of beer, but all the people that you made in your image- see them starving on their feet.”- Lawless, Sydney Wayser, Dear God
“Down below, sandy, like the ocean floor, quiet, like I like it; here I'll never be alone.”- slenderbodies, anemone
“I love everything, fire spreading all around my room, my world's so bright, it's hard to breathe but that's alright- hush.”- Sub Urban, Cradles
“I'm telling myself, I'm telling myself, ‘I don't need you anymore’.”- Lia Marie Johnson, Cold Heart Killer
“So I moved to California, but it's just a state of mind, it turns out everywhere you go, you take yourself, that's not a lie. Wish that you would hold me or just say that you were mine- it's killing me slowly.” Lana Del Rey,  Fuck it I love you
“See, she knows that I love her, but I don't think she'll stay and she knows that I need her, but my love's lost its weight. Spend my days longing for something real, spend my days stuck in the way I feel.”- JOBA, Sad Saturdays
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sneezy-cheeseloaf · 3 years
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recounting the entire avengers: endgame movie, which i only saw once when it came out, from memory
because i just took the SAT and i want to do anything except think about that so get ready for a fun ride full of holes and my reenactments of scenes and quotes that i remember from however many years it’s been now since endgame came out. buckle the fuckle up
movie opens, clint’s whole ass family fucking dies. cue killing spree fueled by grief and anger. HashTag Relatable
tony is floating through space with nebula and teaching her how to play paper football
holy shit is this how tony dies
“pep” ouc h
oh hey he’s home, dope
The Gang (tm) learns where thanos’s farm is somehow i can’t really remember
“perhaps i judged you too harshly”
“???? thor????” “what? i went for the head”
“five” five what?? days?? weeks??? months???? oh boy i can’t wait to find ou- “years later” HUH???????
steve looks the exact same, so i guess he kept up that workout schedule even through the snap. i mean good for him honestly
and is also running a talk therapy group like sam did
a single smidgen of gay representation but it’s a good start ig
i don’t really remember what everyone else was doing, i just know that tony and pep have morgan now but idk if that gets revealed now or later
the only reason we had a movie is because of a rat. everyone say thank you to Rat for releasing scott lang, please. round of applause
scott’s daughter is all grown up and catch me sobbing over the fact that he wasn’t there to see it
somewhere in here nat is crying and eating a sandwich and honestly girl same
“hey!!! it’s me!!!! scott lang!!! ant man???? also what the hell happened???? lemme IN”
cue scott lang having a single brain cell and bringing up time travel. i think it was him that proposed the idea. maybe not. but imma give him credit
oh yeah bruce and hulk are besties now and bruce is just permanently Like That
and cue everyone being shook at the idea of time travel
time to go see Science Man at his house on the lake
“i wish you had come for anything else.” ouch
gang leaves dejectedly
peter. that’s it. and suddenly tony is all hands on deck
cue science mumbo jumbo in the middle of the night while he eats something out of a bag that i can’t remember
“shit!!” “sHiT!!!” “NO”
“i love you 3000″
Science Man reveals that he has, indeed cracked the code to literal time travel
cue nat, the only person with an umbrella, going to find clint who is busy with murder, as he does
“don’t do that. don’t give me home” stfu budapest man and get in the car.
thor has. enlargened. and is now playing fortnight with korg as a means to cope with what happened plus losing loki, as i think we all would
The Gang is back together and working (surprisingly) coordinately and throwing ideas around and it’s actually very cute. and it makes my heart very happy. and i want to cry every time i think about it because we all know what comes next
scott’s taco gets blown away. bruce gives him another. all is well in the world
and in this exhibit we see the only brain cell in the whole group, which is being used by rhodey at all times
“why don’t we just,,,, (choking motion)” “to a BABY???”
during the time tests someone gets reverted to a baby but i don’t remember who and it’s highkey disturbing
“i consider this an absolute win!!”
cue slo mo walk with the cool white time suits that everyone looks so good in
“see you in a minute” that smile. she looks so happy. sobbing
i think it’s in here that all the color go through steve’s eyes, so let’s just take a minute to acknowledge how pretty he is
“just for the record, that suit did nothing for your ass.” “i don’t remember asking you to look”
“that’s america’s ass.” yes it is scott you’re absolutely right
“i cOuLd dO tHiS aLL dAy” “yeah i knoOoOW”
time for tony to give tony a heart attack and then just stare in what i can only assume is amusement. i’m pretty sure that comes after america’s ass but maybe not
somewhere in here steve is just staring at peggy through blinds and it’s sad when you see it but when you think about it afterwards, it’s so funny for no reason
time to get whacked by a very angry hulk who was not allowed to use the elevator
“NO STAIRS”
tony goes flying. so does the tesseract. loki, in handcuffs, is like “oh bet this is mine now” and. Leaves.
i’m pretty sure it’s bruce who goes and gets schooled by The Ancient One on the multiverse, and i say it’s bruce because i think he’s the only one out of The Gang who could ever actually wrap his head around it
i don’t remember exactly how they get the tesseract but they do
thor and rocket are in asgard and thor has a panic attack, as I think we all would if we had to talk to our dead mother and pretend like we don't know what's going to happen
and remember kids, slapping someone is not the way to handle a panic attack. anyways
a mother always knows
"i'm still worthy!!!!" you always were, thor. you never stopped being worthy
and we have our hammer back
cue sobbing on vormir
“clint. it’s ok. it’s ok.” that smile.
nat’s fucking dead and i’m fucking dead inside let’s keep this party goin
other stones are recovered and i don’t really remember how but hey we got all six
“where’s nat?” cue more sobbing from me and from clint as you can see each and every team member’s heart drop to the fucking floor. especially steve
yeah maybe we’re doing this for half the universe and all the people we lost, but mostly for nat now
tony’s makeshift infinity gauntlet has entered the chat
Green Man is the only one who can physically take the power of the stones, so the fate of literally everything they have ever done up to this point is on him
snap rest in peace bruce’s arm
cue every single person in the theater holding their breath
“guys. it worked.”
cue explosion as their facility gets bombed and i am terrified that it has killed the entire gang
but it obviously has not and i am once again a Class A Idiot
i can't remember if it’s steve or tony who wakes up first but one shakes the other awake and is like “get the fuck up bitch idk what just happened but we got a problem”
everyone is mostly fine. but they’re all alive and that’s what matters
and now we have the setting for the entire rest of the movie basically
oh hey thanos. that’s uh. that’s a big army you got there
i don’t really remember everything that happened with The Past thanos, gamora, and nebula but i remember that gamora once again sees what a twat her adoptive father is and is like “oh hell na”
cue the gang fighting for their lives against Past thanos. literally
oh shit thor’s about to be killed????
OH MY GOD HE HAS THE HAMMER
cue the theater screaming as they should
hell yeah. bonk that giant space grape with the god of thunder’s hammer. you go steve. and look like a badass doing it as you should
shit’s still fucked and they eventually get their asses handed to them one by one
somewhere in here the shield breaks just like we saw in age of ultron. and like damn bro i liked that thing
steve stands up by himself because bitch. you cant kill him unless he says so. he dies on his own terms. he didn’t live for over a fucking century to die like this
our mans is standing up against a whole ass army knowing full well that he can’t win but damn if he aint ready to try
“ok listen strange. you have to open the portal to his left. his LEFT. you hear me???”
“steve. STEVE. on your left.”
cue the most goosebump-inducing scene that i have ever seen and probably will ever see. i would do anything to see that scene for the first time again. that feeling was like nothing i’ve ever experienced
the amazing symphonics are NOT helping my already-about-to-explode-from-excitement heart
now the gang’s ALL here. and we all cry because all of our peeps are back from the dead and we all missed them and highkey grieved for them after infinity war
i can’t remember if steve actually sees bucky yet but i think he does and i wanted to cry on the spot because not only did i miss bucky but man did i just want them to see each other again
cue sick pan of the whole ass marvel roster like smash ultimate, including howard duck somewhere in there
PETER OUR BOY SWINGIN ON IN
“AVENGERS. assemble.” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
but we all know damn well that not a single person could hear him whisper that shit. like steve bro speak up a little
and the battle for the ages commences
we get to see all our favorite boys are girls fuck shit up and it’s absolutely incredible. wow it really feels like someone’s missing who could that be.
this is now a very elaborate game of keepaway
“catch” “Catch” “CATCH “CATCH”
“hey queens” he remembered. catch me cryin
“hey peter. got somethin for me?” god i love her. flew through a whole ass spaceship. no stoppin her
t'challa remembers clint's name. he did care
oh yeah scott is fucking humongous again, but third time’s the charm ig. maybe he won't pass the fuck out this time
somewhere in here, strange starts holding like. an entire ocean back and i dont really remember where it came from
we get a whole segment of marvel women kicking ass and taking names and i think i just need to take a minute. WE collectively need to take a minute
carol flies straight through a spaceship and everyone is like ???? hello????? where have you been?????????
carol gets literally headbutted by thanos and doesnt move a fucking inch. and that look of murder in her eyes. she could tell me to walk into a pit of lava and i would not question it. the power
“launch the missiles!!!” “but sir, our army-” “DO IT”
damn thanos our expectations for you were low but holy fuck
somewhere in here i think petter quill sees Past gamora and is like gamora???? and she like kicks him in the balls or somethin and is like “this is the ones i picked?????”
the fight continues and honestly a lot of it’s a blur but damn was it not the coolest thing i’ve ever seen. 
cue strange knowing exactly how this was gonna go down, and holding up a single finger
i dont think ive ever seen that look on tony's face before
oh shit thanos has the gauntlet and all the stones. fuck.
wait holdup that gauntlet looks a little funky
WAIT HOLDUP
“i am inevitable”
“and i. am iron man.”
the theater, once again holds its breath
all is lowkey calm and everyone is shook
thanos’s entire army slowly fades away. including one of those big worm things that almost eats (i think it was) rocket but like. dusts right as it hits the ground and is a really cool shot
and thanos sits down on a rock. and finally is gone. and it's so cathartic
oh joyous day!! they’ve won!! they’ve done it!!! wait holdup where’s tony. i remember what happened to bruce where the fuck is tony
wait
wait hold on
wait hold on a minute
“we did it. we won, mr stark. we won. please, mr stark”
“pep.”
“it’s ok. you can rest. you can rest.”
i have officially passed away and am a sobbing mess. you can’t do this to me. he’s gonna come back. there’s no way. tony stark doesn’t die. no.
this is a fucking funeral. i am going to combust into tears
“proof that tony stark has a heart”
i just wanted him to be able to see morgan grow up.
but him and nat are eating shawarma together in the sky now.
“i’m recording this in case something goes wrong, which it won’t.”
“i love you 3000.”
oh we’re still rolling. oh we don’t even get a minute to process
steve is leaving??? wait holdup we cant lose both. no
“are you sure about this?” “i have to”
“i’m with you til the end of the line” so that was a fucking lie
but steve deserves to do what makes him happy. so i can’t be too mad. actually, nah i aint even mad i’m just sad
bucky looks so dejected. so sad. someone please give him a hug. he desperately needs it
oh hey steve. but you’re old now. hey then, grandpa. how did you. get there
buck and sam go talk to him as they should
“you wanna talk about her?” “no, i don’t think i will”
“how does it feel?” “like it belongs to someone else”
sam has officially inhered the shield, and by extension, his very own bucky barnes. it’s a packaged deal
clint’s got his family back. and they can finally finish their picnic or whatever they were doing at the beginning of the movies
and steve finally got that dance. finally. and he looks so happy. so content.
and that’s about all i remember
i have not watched endgame since i saw it in theaters when it came out because i absolutely do not have the emotional stability to do it again. but damn the disney plus shows have been bangin
i hope you enjoyed the ride, thank you for joining me in my. whatever the fuck this is
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an-angels-blessing · 3 years
Text
Song Prompts #1
“Will nature make a man of me yet?”- The Smiths, This Charming Man
“If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?”- Lynyrd Skynyrd, Free Bird
“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her.”- Hozier, Work Song
“I don’t think that we should be alone together, when we’re in a room you get my eyes, you open your mouth I’m hypnotised”- The Neighbourhood, Single
“She looks as if she’s blowing a kiss at me and suddenly the sky is a scissor”- Arctic Monkeys, That’s where you’re wrong
“You think you want to be alone, just wait until you’re crying on the shower floor”
“They’ve got a pretty face, but they’ve got a pretty empty head.”
“But how the hell do you fall in love, the last time I checked you can’t fall in slow mo”- LANY- The Breakup *There were too many good ones in this song, I couldn’t help myself*
“I know it’s mad, but if I go to hell will you go with me or just leave?” - Panic! At The Disco, Do you know what I’m seeing?
“I don’t know who’s protecting me, but we hit it off”- Drake, Sandra’s Rose
“Do me a favour and break my nose, do me a favour and tell me to go away?”- Arctic monkeys, Do me a favour
“Baby just came back around, said she needs time to explore, said I can’t love her no more”- The Neighbourhood, Baby came home
“Just one mistake, you say you’re not in love no more, but was it really love if you can leave me for something so innocent is this the end?”- LANY, Thick and thin
“You can have Manhattan, I know it’s for the best, I’ll gather up the avenues and leave them on your doorstep. I’ll tiptoe away so you won’t have to say you heard me leave.”
“You can have Manhattan, the one we used to share, the one where we were laughing and drunk on just being there. Hang onto the reverie, could you do that for me?”- Sara Bareilles, Manhattan
“You don’t love me, big fucking deal, I’ll never tell you how I feel.”
“I’ll send my best regards from Hell”- Marina and the Diamonds, Starring Role
“I been writing these songs ‘bout how I can’t be with you. I don’t want to be a monster, but I’ve been here for days, drinking too much now I want you, can’t get you off my brain.”- Henry, Monster, Eng. version
“Change lives, get better, yeah that be the plan”
“That’s why you see me winning, yeah, even after I lose”- Jay Park, Ask bout me
“Love is not looking over shoulders, Love is you should trust what I told you”
“Love is not struggling to say I love you”- 6LACK, Disconnect
“All these people taking miles when you give them an inch, all these followers but who’s gonna follow me until the end?”- Drake, Emotionless
“She’s in the rain, you wanna hurt yourself I’ll stay with you, you wanna make yourself go through that pain, It’s better to be held than holding on,”- The Rose, She’s In The Rain *Absolutely love this one, don’t @ me, I will die for the The Rose**
“Sex by the fire at night”- Bruno Mars, That’s What I Like
“I’ve got the good side of you, sent it out into the blue.”- Troye Sivan, Good Side
“Standing by the window, rain falling, I want to have you full in my embrace and tell you, even when I’m born again and love you, even then, will you be with me?”- KREAM, 선물 Gift *Translated*
“It all passes, Someday, For sure, Certainly”- RM, ft. NELL, everythingoes *Translated*
“Please stay as long as you need, can’t promise that things won’t be broken, but I swear that I will never leave. Please stay forever with me”- Sleeping With Sirens, Scene One- James Dean & Audrey Hepburn
“When you move, I’m put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move
I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement
“Wake up and smell the coffee, is your cup half full or empty?”- Billie Eilish, come out and play
“Am I a bad person? Or am I just in pain?”- DEAN, Sulli, Rad Museum, Dayfly *Translated*
“Kiss me on the lips, a secret just between the two of us, deeply poisoned by the jail of you, I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew the grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway”- BTS, Blood Sweat & Tears *Translated*
“When the sun sets and darkness comes, I only remember your warmth, where the stars wrap around us. I’m going there, I’ll be there”- SEVENTEEN, Highlight *Translated*
“I don’t ever wanna feel like anything I do ever had a fucking resonance or meant a thing to you.”- Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes, I Hate You
“You can’t take this away from me, the way I hit the melody, the waves bring clarity, running through me”- Tom Misch, Del La Soul, It Runs Through Me
“It was a lie when they smiled and said you won’t feel a thing”- My Chemical Romance, Disenchanted
“The fog has lifted and things get clear, all the lies pass by like a reel of film. I hate you”- EXO, 내가 미쳐 (Going Crazy) *Translated*
“I’m sorry- no, I’m not sorry, I’m just getting started and my life’s a party”- DEAN, Eric Bellinger, I’m Not Sorry
“Ain’t it fun, living in the real world?”- Paramore, Ain’t It Fun
“Ready or not, we are coming back- yeah, we’re over, we can tell you ‘bout what you need. You can look it up when you’re older”- Evergreen, Cargo Cult
“You, you got so much potential, every moment spent with you I bet was always eventful”- Aminé, Kehlani, Heebiejeebies- Bonus
“Could you imagine the taste of your lips if we never tried to kiss on the drive to Queens? ‘Cause I imagine the weight of your ribs if you lied between my hips in the backseat”- Halsey, Roman Holiday
“Forever isn’t for everyone, is forever for you?”- Arctic Monkeys, Snap Out Of It
“Wish you good luck being lonely, I’mma push red every time you phone me. You vow to be a memory”- Ella Mai, ft. Ty Dolla $ign, She Don’t
“I’ve been dazed and confused from the day I met you, yeah I lost my head and I’d do it again”- Ruel, Dazed & Confused
“I just want you closer, is that alright? Baby let’s get closer tonight”- Paolo Nutini, Last request
“You have no idea how pretty you are when you wake from sleep, you have no idea how beautiful you look as you get ready for bed”- Zion.T, No Makeup *Translated*
“I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight, baby, ‘cos I can’t get you off my mind”- Shawn Mendes, Lost In Japan
“She’s soothing like the ocean rushing on the sand, she takes care of me, baby, she helps me be a better man. She’s so beautiful, sometimes I stop to close my eyes, she’s exactly what I need”- Jeremy Passion, Lemonade
“And her lips are like the galaxy’s edge and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place”- Arctic Monkeys, Arabella
“It’s how you look, not how you feel. A city of glass with no heart”- Queens of the Stone Age, If I Had a Tail
“I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife”- Hozier, Take Me To Church
“Bitter and hardened heart, Oh, aching- waiting for life to start”- Keane, Bend & Break
“When you move I’m put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement
“She said, ‘Baby, I’m afraid to fall in love, 'cause what if it’s not reciprocated?’ I told her, ‘Don’t rush girl, don’t you rush, guess it’s all a game of patience.’”- Pink Sweat$, Honesty
“Share a casket with you, we’ll be buried alive, me and her playing truth ‘til the day we die.”- Granata Ft. Phoniks, You Dont Need Me
“And hope that I had survived yesterday, and today is jealous of tomorrow.”- Emeli Sandé, Breathing Underwater
“Heaven if you sent us down so we could build a playground for the sinners to play as saints, you’d be so proud of what we’ve made.” Stephen, Crossfire
“Tell me how do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night? How do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night?”- blackbear, make daddy proud
“If anyone looks perfect, you look perfect next to me.”- Nick Wilson, Obsolete
“When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you were my future), I’ll know (I was your yesterday). When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you protected me), I’ll know (I desired you).”- SEVENTEEN (Wen Junhui & Xu Minghao), My I *Translated*
“I need my sex n’ drugs, I need my money first, bless me with all my sins.”- Abhi The Nomad, Ft. Harrison Sands & Copper King, Sex ‘n Drugs
“Naked and fallin’ in love, look here I got you. Safe where there’s no one to judge, keep it insightful.”- Keiynan Lonsdale, Preach
“All alone, all we know is haunting me, making it harder to breathe, harder to breathe.”- The Neighbourhood, Leaving Tonight
“Now I see you get off of the subway, haven’t seen you in months but it’s okay. I’d forgotten but I feel the same, hate that I still wish you were…”- Claud, Wish You Were Gay
“A perfect stranger lying next to me, he’s playing God with broken figurines. He keeps calling me his little queen and I believe.”- Jake Wesley Rogers, Little Queen (This song deserves way more recognition, make sure to give it a listen!)
“Hell is so close to Heaven, hell is so close to Heaven. Hold on don’t look back, you know we’re better- we’re better than that. Lost and thrown away, you know we’re better- we’re better than that.”- Sleeping With Sirens, The Strays
“Alone tonight, I’m drawing my dreams across the sky farther than I can imagine- She wants it.”- CIX, Movie Star *Translated*
“Yeah I mixed words and some whiskey on the flight just to make sure I landed on time and I wrote me a song I could sing just in case I forgot everything.”- Marc E. Bassy, Last One I Love
“Don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know, learned my lesson way too long ago.”
“Deadly fever, please don’t ever break, be my reliever 'cause I don’t self medicate”- Billie Eilish, my strange addiction
“And it’s worth it, it’s divine, I have this some of the time.”- Hozier, Cherry Wine
“And I realize you’re mine, Indeed, a fool am I.”- Queens of the Stone Age, No One Knows
“Look in the mirror ‘til I forget everything I know, everything I did was just a way to make the time feel faster.”- Miya Folick, Stock Image
“Do you feel how I feel? Are you numb? Do you tread crystal waters, bound to be stung? Are you scared? If I see you, we’re upon,
will you dye your hair dark so you’re no longer blonde?”- Isaac Dunbar, Cologne
“Tell me; To you I’m bad & hurtful. Because I’ve been busy, you’re hurting. Bad, bad, bad, I’m bad, bad.”- Crush, NAPPA (나빠) *Translated*
“Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of: A. Indifference or B. disinterest to what the critics say.”- Panic! At The Disco, London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines
“‘Cause you don’t say what you feel, I’m the one driving but you take the wheel. You wanna wait, 'til we’re older, I’m the one who started this, but now I just want closure.”- Ieuan, Closure
“Our names carved in the pavement, sealed by what’s left of our handprints, now. I told my mom, she’d love to meet you, but it’s too bad she won’t get the chance to.”- COIN, Malibu 1992
“I’m running outta time to hold you close, running outta time to be your man. I’m just lost in this moment, I’ve been zoning.”- blackbear, 4u
“Standing on your mama’s porch, you told me that you’d wait forever. Oh and when you held my hand, I knew that it was now or never”- Bryan Adams, Summer Of ‘69
“I’ll go out, grow my hair too long, sing your least favourite songs at the top of my lungs. I’ll go out, kiss all of your friends, make a story and pretend it was me who made this end.”- The Vamps, Hair Too Long
“Getting my mind right, I’ll wait 'til the time’s right. I’m meaning to tell you why it’s hard to sleep at night. There’s nothing to fear now, girl, we should be here now. So why don’t you hear me out?”- Jeremy Zucker, Ft. blackbear, talk is overrated
“We haven’t spoke since you went away, comfortable silence is so overrated. Why won’t you ever be the first one to break? Even my phone misses your call, by the way.”- Harry Styles, From the Dining Table
“Look overhead at the stars and the ocean, foggy emotions, moments, erosion. This supernova could cause a commotion, my minds of the notion, you’ll still be my motive”- Ansel Elgort, Supernova
“I love that new dress you bought, yeah, you sure look nice. Heard you liked that new restaurant, you know, I’ve been there twice. And the way that you switch up your hair, all of the moments we’ve shared, strolling the streets back in Rome, oh, how I wish I was there. It ain’t fair.”- Ruel, Face To Face
“Welcome to your life, there’s no turning back. Even while we sleep we will find you acting on your best behaviour, turn your back on mother nature.”- Tear For Fears, Everybody Wants to Rule the World
“I’m wide awake, not losing any sleep, I picked up every piece and landed on my feet. I’m wide awake, need nothing to complete myself, no.” Katy Perry, Wide Awake
“If you don’t realize, all of the things your life can do you will be left behind, swept up by the storm of those you knew.”- Meltycanon, thankful
“I always knew that we’d be by each other’s side forever, now our time has come and I’d be satisfied if we died together. Yeah, our climate’s fucked, we might as well enjoy the weather, our time is up and I’d be satisfied if we died together.”- Samsa, Anthropocene
“There’s still so much to say, I’m faded, broken, pretending you’re on the line, wasting my time. Sinking deeper, watching you spend your night,
like I’ll be fine and I’ll be over this.”- NYK, Faded
“I’d rather go to hell, than be in purgatory, cut my hair, gag and bore me, pull this pin, let this world explode.”- My Chemical Romance, Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
“I reached for a shooting star, it burned a hole through my hand
Made its way through my heart, had fun in the promised land.”- blink-182, Wishing Well
“Let go of your baggage, but don’t think I don’t understand it’s probably a challenge,”- Isaac Lewis, Fly
“It’s been a long night in New York city, it’s been a long night in Baton Rouge. I don’t remember you looking any better, but then again, I don’t remember you.”- John Mayer, Who Says
Prompts 101-119
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djhedy · 4 years
Note
3, 15, and/or 24 for the fic ask meme?
from end of year asks post
thank you anon
3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year
2019 is the year i rejoined fandom! i grew up reading and writing harry potter fanfic, took many-years break, and came back in january 2019, post-break-up, for the raven cycle and all for the game. so it’s really been a year of learning how to write again, learning how i like writing. it turns out i really like one-sentence paragraphs. here are some examples i can think of, i guess i do this style a lot, which i do unapologetically.
from (trc) alive, alive alive
Something tugged inside Ronan and he stomped outside. He made his way towards the first field and just started walking, jacket forgotten, boots sliding easily through wet grass, skylight dimming, his breath coming out in shudders like smoke, and at some point Opal had come running out of a hedge or a tree or a rock, had run rings around him, had shown him all the stones she’d found that she thought looked like her opal, and he’d nodded, had accepted a stone in cold dry fingers, had felt it in his palm all rough texture against rough texture, had watched her bobbing head as she exhausted herself against the day, had looked at the wet grass curled around his boots, at the line of trees curling at the foot of the hill, at the dissipating clouds in the paling orange sky.
from (trc) sunlight feels good now don’t it
When Adam woke up it was to tight skin and dreams of his father towering above him, Adam on the ground, please stop please stop please stop and his left ear ringing – he touched it, vacant, elsewhere; it was to loud warring voices in his head and him, frowning, and not opening his eyes as he thought I overreacted, Gansey wasn’t saying – but also – I am broken and he knows he knows he doesn’t want me to break him too – and he swung a leg out of bed, and then the other, eyes still closed, and thought – I really don’t think that’s what he meant, this isn’t fucking logical Adam – but also ­– but ok we do know I’m manipulative and selfish and weren’t those the exact qualities Gansey’s afraid of – and then he opened his eyes and his skin was crawling and his father was walking towards him and he just wanted it to stop and he imagined smashing a glass into a wall and wished for a split second it was his father’s face, no, he wished it was his face – it was a little your fault, wasn’t it Adam? – and then he opened his eyes, stared, a little stunned, blood on his knuckles and the bathroom mirror shattered, glass dripping into the sink, and from somewhere far away Daniel’s voice, “Adam?”
from (aftg) hold me close
“I don’t need protecting, and you promised to stop that bullshit a long time ago. Do you understand or do I need to repeat myself?”
              There’s a couple of birds flying overhead, their calls to each other just loud enough to filter through the pounding in his head, and it sounds like the sky is singing, and then he can hear waves too, crashing against the sand he’s standing on, and it’s like he’s trapped in a soundscape that he hadn’t been listening to before – or maybe wasn’t able to hear – but suddenly it snaps back to him with a jolt of colour, and noise, and the understanding that he’s barely awake, that he’s standing right where his mother died, screaming at someone he doesn’t want to live without.
so, yeh, there’s that. but also here is a favourite single line i can think of, from (trc) sunlight:
This speech had been made to the sky, and Adam spent a while after he’d finished speaking wondering at the appropriateness of that. That someone the scale of Ronan could only fit into something as infinite and wondrous as the sky.
15. something you learned this year
ah man. idk. i spent a lot of this year digesting my own mental health / general life woes by reading and writing fanfic. so something i’ve learned. maggie s said in a writing seminar you can’t write about a problem you have if you haven’t solved it yet. i think about this a lot. i think about writing adam parrish grappling with the concept of anger, thinking of himself as a monster he can’t escape; neil josten unable to admit something’s wrong, unable to take the first steps in fixing what’s wrong in his brain chemistry. idk. maybe i was able to write these stories because i have, at least partly, dealt with my own issues with the concept of anger, with taking a step forwards in seeking help. maybe it’s because i’m in fandoms where we fucking love talking about our problems. which i think is a really really good thing. or maybe il reread these two stories in a few years’ time and think “hoo boy she really was still in the thick of it and had no idea eh”.
this was supposed to be what have i learned. i have learned that:
it is ok to use writing fanfic as a way to learn about yourself; but it can’t be everything
it is ok to use reading fanfic as a way to feel your emotions safely; but it can’t be everything
be yourself! that is what i have learned. the rest will follow.
24. favorite fic you read this year
my gosh well that’s not fair because i’ve read essentially the entire backlog of the trc and aftg top hits this year and then some. however, these are the ones that stuck out, that i’ll keep going back to (ignoring like the five you’ve all already read anyway):
(the raven cycle) Like Storms: this fic man… selectively mute adam meets gansey and ronan at college, and they in turn meet ghost!noah in a church and… i dont know my heart just Did Not Cope. i don’t know how to explain how special this one is, except to really emphasise that i spent this year really only reading fanfiction, and this is the one i’m choosing to recommend.
(harry potter) Away Childish Things: this broke me. it’s basically an excuse to have harry and draco deal with their traumas by meeting the younger version of each other, and figuring out shit they should have figured out already. it’s, genuinely, one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever read.
(all for the game) we might be hollow: im going to cheat and very quickly give you this, possibly my favourite long fic? neighbours au, and, stunning, i just remember the pacing was perfect and i felt like *a lot*. BUT im sorry can i also just very quickly shove this in your face. paper skies: favourite short, hands down, no contest. absolutely gorgeous short piece about andrew’s favourite colour, and how he uses it to search for meaning in his life. i’ve read this one so many times. 
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ok that’s all. ask me more questions if you can stand such long answers.
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