#and he thinks shannon is the one who can save him
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the catholic guilt and the “second chance”… i think at the core it’s just eddie desperate for the forgiveness that only he can grant himself, but keeps refusing to
#he’s trying to atone for every choice he’s ever made#and every (perceived) failure#conscious or not he wants to be absolved#and he thinks shannon is the one who can save him#i also think there’s a possibility they’re setting us up for a bait n switch with this#but who the fuck knows anymore sffshddhdg#iinryer post
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Crack theory that I personally think would be incredibly funny:
The reason Marisol NoName’s been so bland and we haven’t learned so much as what she does for a living is because this is actually Vertigo. She’s intentionally infiltrated Eddie’s life for something nefarious, and after digging up photos of Shannon during their 48 hours of living together, she went and hired someone who looks like Shannon to mess with him for reasons.
Something absolutely ridiculous, like she's after that random fucking Chevelle. Eddie inherited it from Isabel when she moved to Texas, but it was actually used in some big unsolved historic bank robbery before his grandparents got it, or maybe his abuelo had a secret life. Marisol and her brother are the grandkids of Abuelo's old partner who got caught, and they've been searching for years and thought the key to the lost money would be inside the car.
But Marisol has been searching it while she babysits Chris and he's distracted playing video games. She can't find anything, so she'll have to talk to Isabel herself and see if she can get more information. But Eddie doesn't go out to Texas very often so she'll have to bring Isabel out to LA. How does she do that? Create an emergency so the whole family will have to come running to Eddie. An emergency like a total breakdown over Shannon's doppelganger, and then when they're all preoccupied with Eddie seemingly imploding his life, Marisol will make her move.
Supporting evidence:
How did Marisol NoName-NoJob buy a house by herself in LA? Why wouldn’t they at least tell us what she does or say her family has money? It would take one single line of dialogue. Suspicious.
She recognized and approached Eddie in the glue aisle
Who in their right mind would agree to move in with a guy they’ve only been dating a few months? She was snooping.
The nun thing was insane and why wouldn’t they at least give a reason for her quitting?
Eddie’s presumably been to her house multiple times, so wouldn’t he have noticed if she was actually super religious? She brought a damn Jesus bobblehead to move in and put it in a box of bedroom stuff, that doesn’t sound like the kind of person who would keep it all shoved in an armoire.
“You two aren’t going anywhere” sounded like a threat and jumping up to hug Eddie and Chris like that was an objectively weird thing to do in that moment.
“You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I know it’s a thing people say but I hate her.
Edy is such a mediocre actor that I can’t tell if Marisol’s smiles are supposed to be genuine or not.
Unless it was for another job, she posted a video whispering about a briefcase and being creepy on a set.
A nun kills the imposter in Vertigo and maybe Eddie finds closure by saving Kim this time.
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911 ep 709 first watch reactions
The way this ep starts with giving us a clear shot focused on the front, solely on Buck sitting between the man he's dating and the man he's been married to for the past six years, and only on them. XD I'm here for it.
Oh, Bobby. :( Feeling unworthy of his medal, and remembering his dad, and how everything went wrong after he got it. </3
Aaaah. Man, IDK. The openly and explicitly homophobic and racist captain cartoon just feels like an easy target now. Prejudice doesn't seem like it mostly gets expressed that way anymore, and when we only teach people to reject that kind, we not only fail to teach them to recognize subtler forms, we may be misleading them to think those more nuanced ones don't count.
Love Athena trying to "save" Bobby by contacting Amir. I'm always a sucker for a couple where they both save each other.
I enjoyed the little play with "Mother Hen," and I know it's not specifically about Buddie, but it is damn funny that when she's told she's raising more kids, they're the ones the camera focuses on. lol Raising a kid together for 6 years, still a couple of morons in desperate need of parenting from their colleagues. Even when Bobby's "wordless goodbye" moment with Buck is letting him cook for the 118, Eddie's by his side and they're doing it together. I swear, 911 said, "Take note, this is what a marriage looks like" and then just kept hammering the point for 6 seasons now.
Okay, I am pretty sure that, while Bobby's acceptance of Buck's first relationship with a guy, is really lovely, "Because we haven't had to talk about it" is not an actual good criterion for discerning whether someone is good for their partner or not. People whose spouses are abusive don't talk about it, either. :/ I am NOT saying that's Buck and Tommy, because it obviously isn't, it just feels like a line thrown in there to be cutesy, but which isn't actually helpful to people, who might take it too seriously.
I AM GONNA LOL FOREVER. So, just like Buck's bi awakening was all about Eddie, now Eddie's messed up whatever he has with Kim is gonna involve Buck, too? Gotcha. Battlefield boyfriends being off-battlefield boyfriends once more.
So... Buck was going to see Tommy, in an ep where TPTB have already paid for Lou in the role, so might as well use him as much as possible, but instead a non-emergency run in with Eddie's current whatever-Kim-is makes Buck ditch Tommy, and run straight over to Eddie's to help him? Look, I'm obviously a One True Pairing kind of shipper, so Buddie are it for me, as much as I can enjoy and see the value of Buck and Tommy as a stepping stone, and nothing will make me stop shipping Buddie (especially not after the tsunami eps), but 911 is feeding me way too well with how it frames these scenes and stories, I don't think the show's trying to get me to stop.
Man, if anyone's ever had a doubt that Eddie is the world champion at denial, this kitchen scene will def cure that.
"I'm worried about you."
"Yeah, I'm worried about me, too."
And then Buck, the one person who can ALWAYS penetrate through Eddie's denial wall, no matter how thick it is.
Eh, IDK how much the part where they try to re-define Shannon as the love of Eddie's life works, or how much it just serves to show he's still in denial, just a different kind than before, when Buck got through to him that he can't go on like this with Kim. For one thing, in his little retelling of their dysfunctional r/s, Eddie doesn't mention that Shannon was leaving him a second time, even before she died. Literal denial and repression.
So I'm gonna choose to believe Hen and Karen will get Mara back, because I can't deal with that particular storyline otherwise.
Kim's reaction is too deranged for me. Who does something like that, even if we assume the kindest of intentions? And then Marisol and Christopher's timing... I didn't sign on to watch a soap opera, but I guess I'm getting one free of charge?
"Now you gotta save yourself." If that ain't a painful summary of what growing up means, IDK what is. the conversation with Bobby's dad in his sleep was a good, painful scene, built right, leading to him hopefully getting his closure through saving his wife from a fire, and leaving us with just the right amount of suspension for next week and the season finale, where we'll see if he can let go of his past mistakes without a doppelganger dressing up like his dead wife...
Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox
#911 spoilers#9-1-1#911 meta#911meta#911 abc#911 show#911abc#911#911 on abc#911onabc#911reactions#athena grant#bobby nash#bathena#evan buckley#buddie#eddie diaz#buddie meta#karen wilson#hen wilson
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Eddie goes on a date with Shannon’s look alike. He picks Chris up from Buck’s later in the night, Buck asks him how it was and Eddie can’t help the clipped “fine” that comes out of his mouth. He ignores Buck’s strange look and takes Chris home. He gets a text from Marisol confirming their date tomorrow. He texts her back “of course we are still on, why wouldn’t we be?”. “Just checking,” she replies. Chris asks him if he’s okay, Eddie says of course he is. His son shouldn’t be worrying about his father.
He goes out with not-Shannon again. He reminds himself her name is Kim but he can’t find it in him to say it. He goes out with Marisol, smiles when she asks why he seems distracted and says nothing he’s fine. He apologises for why the word fine comes out so harshly. She doesn’t ask again.
Cap asks him if he’s resolved the situation with the ex-nun. “Why does everyone keep asking, it’s fine!” Eddie says. Cap looks at him softly, and tells him he’s here if he needs to talk.
Abuela’s been in town since the wedding, Eddie has dinner with her. He brings Marisol and Chris. Abuelas gaze flicks between his and Marisol’s throughout the night and eddie struggles not to squirm under her gaze. She always saw right through him. When she asks if everything is okay he tells her he doesn’t know, it’s the most honest he’s been. He thinks that’s a good sign.
And then Bobby is in hospital saving the life of someone from his past saying it was good to reconcile with those feelings he still had from his life before and Eddie struggles not to relate that to himself. And then it’s Chris’s birthday and he’s too old and when did he grow up so fast and how come Shannon’s missing this? He goes out with not-Shannon the next night. Tells her all about Chris’s party. She asks when she can meet him. He has to think of jello to calm himself down. His parents come in the weekend, they say it’s not everyday their grandson becomes a teenager. They question every damn decision he makes from letting Chris have an extra slice of birthday cake to whether or not Marisol is right for him. He thought they’d like her. He chose her for them. He chose her for them. He yells at his parents to get out of his house. Yells at Buck who’s just there for Christopher, too. He breaks up with Marisol the next day and she cries and says it came out of nowhere. He tells her about Kim. He can finally say her name. He stops talking to Kim then. He goes to Bobby and he cries and he asks out he did it. How he moved on from them. Bobby tells him that he could never replace them, that he didn’t need to because theyd always be in his heart. That having a new family doesn’t replace the one he lost and that’s the point.
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For the Spotify ficlet: buddie aaaand number 2? :)
hello, and thank you! i return 3 months late, bearing fic. number 2 was the funeral by band of horses, so please enjoy this odd little meditation about eddie and grief and second chances
to know me as hardly golden
1631 words | buddie | emotional hurt/comfort, pre-relationship
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Eddie is six years old when he attends his first funeral. A great-aunt, on his dad's side—he has a vague memory of a frail white-haired woman with hugs that smelled like baby powder. His abuela was the youngest of her siblings by far, and he remembers her standing in the sunlight by the gravesite, iron-gray hair neatly pinned back, eyes dry, mouth pressed to a thin flat line as she watched her sister's coffin sink slowly into the earth.
At six, he doesn't really understand it. But he understands enough to hug her, and he feels her press a kiss to the crown of his head and murmur, Eddito, Eddito, in a soft, shaking voice.
It's an old, hazy memory. He's surprised he's hung onto it this long, but it lingers even now that he's lost count of the number of funerals he's been to. Shannon's should have been the one that hurt the worst, but the truth is he barely remembers it; he moved through that entire day like a wind-up toy, dazed and distant, registering almost nothing other than Christopher.
He didn't attend the funerals of any of the people he saved in Afghanistan, because there weren't supposed to be funerals. That was supposed to be the one thing that made it all worth it—ruining his marriage and missing his son's first steps, the nightmares and the guilt and everything else he stomped down into a deep dark hole where he'd never have to look at it. At least, he always told himself, at least there were four people living in the world who wouldn't be here if it weren't for him.
It takes a while to get past that one, after he learns the truth. A smashed-up wall, a frightened son, and a lot of therapy. A week of Buck sleeping on his couch and wishing he had the courage to ask him to share the bed. Not in the way he sometimes half let himself imagine, but just to have another person there. The solidity of a living breathing body, a person he loves, a person he can still keep safe.
In the hospital after the lightning strike, he haunts the hallways like a ghost, watching his family come in and out of Buck's room, unable to make himself come any closer. He can't stop imagining the funeral: Maddie's white face, the woodenness of Margaret and Phillip Buckley. Bobby and Hen and Chimney. Christopher. He can't stop imagining what Buck might look like in a casket, how much like the way he looks now: silent and white and still in a way that Buck never is.
Buck wakes up, and Eddie hugs him and teases him and lets him sleep on his couch, and he doesn't shove all the rest of it into a deep dark hole because he knows better than that now.
But it lingers, like a wound. Like something he doesn't know how to touch, to handle, to even think about let alone talk about. He moves around it, mostly. He lets Buck cheat at cards and cook him steak and ramble about bioluminescent octopuses from the latest wildlife documentary he watched, and he doesn't say, I imagined going to your funeral.
Buck knows, is the thing. That fear, that lingering directionless grief, Buck knows it. He's careful with Eddie, as if Eddie's the one who was wounded, and it would irk him more if he didn't remember being careful with Buck after the shooting in exactly the same way.
It's a terrible thing to understand about a person, but the alternative would be worse.
It doesn't come to a head so much as unravel the night after a bad shift a few months later, Buck sleeping on his couch even though he's never stopped complaining about how uncomfortable it is, because it's better than being alone. If Eddie were a better person, maybe he'd protest.
(If Eddie were less of a coward, maybe he'd ask Buck to share his bed. He's not even sure what he's so afraid of: at this point, he thinks it'd be a relief if Buck could see through him to the love he's been bleeding out for months or maybe years now. But he remembers Buck so quiet and still in that hospital bed, and he remembers the feel of Buck's chest unmoving beneath his hands, and the words strangle themselves in his throat every time.)
It's a dream that brings him out into the living room in the dark of night, or half a dream, anyway. Half a memory. The night Buck started breathing on his own, Maddie called him, and he woke up immediately and almost let the call go to voicemail, because if she was calling to tell him that Buck was dead then at least there'd be a few minutes more when he didn't know.
He answered, anyway, and Maddie was crying, and it took Eddie several gut-lurching seconds to figure out that they were good tears.
He wakes up now with the echo of his phone's ringtone in his ears, and fumbles it to him, half-asleep and chilled, to stare at the empty screen for several minutes before he realizes that it must have been a dream.
He swears under his breath, puts the phone down, drops his head back against the pillow.
Probably, he should just close his eyes and try to go back to sleep. That's what he usually does, albeit with extremely mixed results. It's not like he's going to call Buck in the middle of the night and wake him up just to reassure Eddie's sleep-scrambled brain that he's still alive.
But Buck is here, and Eddie is a weak man, when it comes down to it. He shoves his feet into his chanclas and makes his quiet way through the house, pausing first at Christopher's door—his noise machine is quiet now, his breathing heavy and peaceful—before heading into the living room. Buck is sprawled across the couch, long limbs everywhere, the throw blanket he always sleeps under tangled between his legs. Eddie's got a painfully affectionate impulse to tug it loose and drape it over him properly, but instead he lingers in the doorway, watching Buck's chest rise and fall, his soft, steady snoring. If he turned the light on, he knows that Buck's skin would be pink and healthy, aside from the minor bruising where the hydraulic rescue tool slipped and whacked him across the arm at that multi-car pileup that kept them out an hour past the end of their shift.
Buck's already been checked over. He's fine; he wasn't even wincing on the ride back home. Eddie stays where he is anyway, watching Buck breathe for several quiet minutes, until Buck shifts on the couch, brings a hand up to rub clumsily at his face, and mumbles, "You gonna just loom in the doorway all night, or what?"
"Sorry," Eddie says, flushing. "I didn't mean to wake you up."
"It's okay." Buck levers himself upright, yawning, before Eddie can tell him not to. On the couch, he hunches over, rubbing at his eyes, then blinks up at Eddie with such sleepy affection that something twists sharply in Eddie's chest. "Come on. Come sit down."
Eddie takes a breath, then lets it out, then crosses the living room to sit on the other side of the couch. Buck turns toward him; his knee bumps Eddie's thigh, and he doesn't pull away.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey," Eddie says back, and he finally exhales quiet laughter. Buck's just looking at him with a crooked little smile on his face, sympathetic eyes, like he knows exactly what brought Eddie out to the living room.
"You wanna check my vitals?" he asks.
His tone is teasing, soft. And it's that, maybe, or it's the quiet and the dark and the way that Buck still hasn't moved away, that has Eddie reaching across the space between them to press his fingers to the side of Buck's throat. Warm skin, faint stubble, and Buck's pulse beneath that, strong and steady. He can feel it when Buck swallows.
"Better?" he whispers.
Eddie nods. It is better. Proof of life, in the most basic of senses. The way Buck is looking at him, intent and knowingly fond in the shadowed living room, is better still.
"You want to talk about it?" Buck asks, still quiet.
Eddie shakes his head. "Tomorrow?"
"Sure."
"I'm sorry." He's not really checking Buck's pulse anymore. His hand shifts, flattens, until what he's doing is a lot more like cupping Buck's jaw the way he would, maybe, before leaning in for a kiss.
Buck's hand comes up to cover his, warm and steady. Alive, alive. "It's okay."
"No, just—it's late."
"Yeah. Still."
Eddie almost leans in. Almost. He's pretty sure at this point that Buck would let him. But they only get one first kiss, and he doesn't want it to taste like fear, even if that is fading now. He rubs his thumb against the edge of Buck's jaw, and suddenly finds that he can say the words after all. "Would you come back to bed with me tonight?"
Buck's smile takes on a mischievous tilt, and Eddie sighs. "Just to sleep."
"Sure."
"I mean it."
"Okay," Buck says. He squeezes Eddie's hand. "Yeah. Just to sleep, for now. But later…?"
Eddie swallows hard. Cards are already on the table. He's still cupping Buck's face like a lover would. It's too late to backtrack, and he doesn't actually want to anyway. "Later, yeah."
"Cool," Buck says, like a dork. His smile turns bashful, and he hesitates, then turns Eddie's hand to brush a light but definite kiss to the back of his knuckles. "I'm good with later."
#911#911 fic#buddie#buddie fic#eddie diaz#evan buckley#prompt fic#my fic#i'm sorry this is SO LATE lmao
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Okay, so, I don't know if I'm typing this out to make myself feel better because I can't believe THIS is the thing I'm gonna be right about in this fucking show BUT back in May last year, I added some tags on a post about how Buck is in Eddie's season 5 arc, so he would break up with Natalia pretty early on and Eddie and Marisol would go off to build stuff together (It's the only post I can find that proves I had the thought before all this because I don't know if I put that in a meta or not, I think I did on a post talking about how Buck and Eddie mirror each other narratively, but I cannot find it) but the thing is, season 6 for Buck mirrors season 4 for Eddie, which would put them in season 5 but from Buck's side. It was the main reason I kept saying I believed Natalia would have the same treatment as Ana, and go away early on in the season to open space for Eddie's journey of self-discovery, which is what happened, Natalia went away to open space for Buck's self-discovery journey. I was betting on a Buck breakdown, but bi Buck works. Why did I had that thought the second Eddie called Marisol in the s6 finale? Well, Buck and Eddie are literally running parallel to each other but slightly misaligned. You have tiny things like the way the first loss on the job for both of them is someone falling to their death, but Devon didn't want to live and the gross dude did. Or the shaky relationship with their parents that runs opposite because Eddie had too much responsibility placed on him while Buck was literally treated like he was invisible. Or more aggressive things like the way the well mirrors the lightning (set on that if you need help visualizing), with the way both of them volunteer into the rescue, the well is in the middle of nowhere, Buck gets struck in the middle of the street, Buck is in the sky, Eddie is underground, the rain aspect, the 118 as audience, they are even on mirrored sides of the frame, and I think even the way Buck needs to choose to get out of the coma mirrors the way Eddie saves himself. There's also the breathing things since Eddie almost drowns and Buck's lungs stop working. The well mirroring the lighting put Buck in season 4 for 6b, the "'I'm fine' *narrator voice* he wasn't fine" era, which would put Buck in season 5 now, the "I'm dealing with what makes me who I am" era, which he is, go Buck.
Well, this works with love interests on a ridiculous level. We have the ABSOLUTE MADNESS of the way Shannon comes back, next episode Ali shows up, Shannon dies, next episode Ali is gone, Eddie meets Ana, Buck keeps complaining about the struggles of being single (while Maddie totally sets him up with Josh, because now that Buck is canonically bi, the fact that they are in blue and green is too on the nose for me to ignore), nothing comes of Eddie and Ana, they both stay single, Eddie asks Ana out, next episode Buck is dating and Taylor comes Back, Buck starts dating Natalia, Eddie starts dating Marisol. The only ones who are not aligned are the breakups with Ana and Taylor, because Buck chooses to hang on for too long. We also the way they have the first love who left them and never really gave them the closure they needed, we have the inconsequential girlfriend they only got because people kept telling them they had to move on. Shannon works for Eddie the same way Abby works for Buck. Ana works for Eddie the same way Ali and I guess Natalia do for Buck. That means Eddie needs a Taylor. Someone he meets on a call who comes back later on. Check. Someone he's supposed to work with in theory but never had a real fighting chance. (I say that because if Taylor were as intense about Buck as she is about the job, they could've been a very interesting installment of golden retriever boyfriend/black cat girlfriend, but they never try). Something about their personal journeys is that Buck tends to take longer to learn, while Eddie tends to need a stronger hit. Buck's takes more time and Eddie's tends to be more intense in a sense. Like the way Shannon dies and Abby just leaves, but they actually kinda paint Buck as hung up on Abby all through seasons 2 and 3. Or the way Taylor goes away for a whole season, just to come back and stay for 3 half seasons. So the Marisol of it all. Taylor had more dept in the helicopter than Marisol has right now, but sure, let's say the point here is to make Eddie do something stupid in the name of not being alone. Because that's what Taylor is. The whole time, Taylor is about Buck being scared of being alone, even hooking up with her the first time is about how he didn't have Abby to hang on to anymore. Taylor and Buck are also fundamentally incompatible.
Again, I know nothing about Marisol. They gave her no dept beyond being a glorified babysitter. Nothing in her relationship with Eddie so far has been about Eddie and her. Even their dates seem to be something that will be about watching other people. I don't wanna say buddie canon, because Lucy is her own category (I miss her) but, Eddie looking at Buck and Tommy and making the very harsh decision of asking her to move in "I'm gonna die alone" moment, I don't wanna say makes sense, but could work, even more considering that the Buck/Tommy/Eddie/Marisol date seems to be mirroring the colors of the Buckley-Diaz family + Taylor dinner in outside looking in, and the next episode is a madney episode. It's the same progression of events. I doubt Eddie is gonna cheat and panic ask Marisol to move in, but they are not so on the nose with the actual storyline parallels. I don't have the brainpower to come up with any theories about what he might do, but considering how rocky his relationship with Buck could be, considering the last episode, I can absolutely see Buck triggering that (that would make me accept I am right and Eddie is aware of his feelings and I won't give that up even if the show explicitly says he wasn't) because Eddie's abandonment issues make him overcorrect. And that's never a good thing. Do I think Marisol is going past the season finale? No. Eddie's understanding arcs are usually shorter than Buck's. How would she leave? No clue. The fact that Taylor hurt Buck's family, in a literal sense with Chim, and the focus on her relationship with Chris as someone taking care of him, also the ominous shots of Chris and the whole theory that Chris would get hurt last season makes me scared tho. It could be something that's not her fault that she doesn't reach Eddie instantly, like, Chris cuts himself or something and she doesn't call, that can even work to push Buck and Eddie closer, and put buddie explicitly in a parental role together. My brain keeps saying appendicitis for some reason, but no idea why, maybe I just don't want to believe the show would make someone purposefully endanger Chris. Eddie kind of snapping in a hospital makes sense? Let's say Chris gets sick while at school and someone calls the house trying to reach Eddie because he's not answering and he chews her off. But that's just like, the only thing I can come up with with the correct energy.
So, yeah, Marisol is Taylor. I'm too tired to keep typing, but I can't believe the one theory I don't fully type out is the one the universe is gonna give me oaksoaksoaksoaksokasa
If you read this I love you. I don't know how this made you feel, but I hope it makes sense.
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I’ve been thinking a lot about how all of the relationships/couples in 911 who got together over the course of the show have deeply developed characters on both sides of the partnership. Bobby and Athena are both main characters, and they are “the one” for each other. Same with Chimney and Maddie. I don’t fully consider Maddie a main character, because she doesn’t have a “begins” episode, but on the other hand, we have gotten more than one multiple-episode storylines surrounding her. My point is, with Bobby and Athena, you cannot remove either character easily and have the story continue on the same way. The same goes for Maddie and Chimney. There would be consequences, fallout, and it would alter the story in major ways. Maddie and Chimney (if i remember correctly) went through a rough patch, but neither were written off the show because they are characters in their own right, not just a main characters partner.
I have more thoughts but i’m putting a cut here to save you from having to read if if you don’t want to
Buck has been in the most relationships, which is meant show he’s young and not ready to settle down. His first relationship was Abby, and she’s kind of the exception to his usual pattern of one-dimensional love interest. She had a storyline, and it was rather compelling, she was pretty much the main character of season 1. However, when push came to shove, she was written off, and her absence, while deeply affecting Buck, does not alter the course of the show in any major way. The overall format of the show does not change, and we aren’t missing a perspective in the story.
After Abby, Bucks relationships start to become very one-sided in terms of development. Ali is barely memorable. She was very easily dropped from the story with no consequences, barely even any for Buck.
Taylor is an interesting case, because while she definitely was not a main character, she definitely had her own personality, desires, wants, fears, and needs. She was also a character from earlier in the show who they brought back later I think they tried to dig deeper into her as a character, and I honestly think she could have stuck around after her and Buck broke up because I think she would be a fun character to have pop in every once in a while. She has her own distinct purpose in the story, however, the show can still go on without her. I actually did like Taylor as a character, and her and Buck were cute together sometimes, but they were so obviously not meant for each other
Natalia is not really worth mentioning. We know nothing about her other than her career (a pattern with Bucks partners). The relationship was very short lived.
Now we get to Tommy. I will say Tommy is hard to judge just yet because him and Buck are very new. He is also a character from the past that has been brought back. We don’t know a whole lot about him, other than he used to be in the 118, Buck likely replaced him when he left, he was in the army, and he has a cool job (shocker!). Him and Buck seem sweet together, but i’d say we’ve gotten about as much content of them being a couple as we did with Ali and Natalia combined. However, he does serve a purpose in the story which is to help Buck to discover himself. Whether he will be more than that is still up in the air. I’m not saying he’s just a plot device, I do like this arc that they’re doing, I just haven’t seen anything yet to show that he’s a character in his own right and not just Bucks newest fling.
Now for Eddie. His first relationship is not really an exception to the established pattern. We learn about Shannon in the past tense, and when they get back together briefly, we still know very little about her. We know that on paper her and Eddie are married, that she has or had a sick mother, that her and Eddie were teen/YOUNG parents, and that her and Eddie have a very rocky relationship and they only work well together when they’re having sex. She dies, which, while it is definitely a plot line, and she does haunt Eddie’s life all the way up to the current season, the loss of her doesn’t alter the way the show plays out.
Then we have Ana. We know her job (duh), that she’s latina/hispanic, that she’s a teacher at Christopher’s school and later is a principal. I honestly think she was a sweetheart, and just a kind soul. I think that she deserved a little bit better than Eddie treated her, and he clearly wasn’t ready for the level of relationship they became. Still, she’s not a character that stands on her own. Take Eddie and Chris away, she doesn’t have a story of her own.
Then there’s Marisol. Marisol honestly is the most one dimensional girlfriend character. We actually don’t even know her job (this is actually shocking), we do know she used to be a nun and Eddie feels weird about it, and shes shown to get along with Chris. Other than that, she’s kinda nothing.
Kim is the last one. Literally all we know about Kim is that shes identical to Shannon and she works at a store. I am interested to see how the Kim thing plays out because I think it’s an interesting extension of Shannon’s ghost kind of following Eddie around.
The only partner of a main character who isn’t a “main character” outside of Buck and Eddie’s relationships is Karen. However, her and hen were together before the show started, and we have gotten several deep dives into their relationship including a “begins” episode dedicated to them, so I can conclusively say that Karen doesn’t fit into the pattern.
To simply, think of 911 as a house on stilts. You have all the main characters as a stilt or a support beam holding that house up. If Athena and Bobby were to break up, and Bobby were to be written off the show in a Ali/Taylor/Marisol fashion, not only would it be a horrible choice, but the house that is 911 would crash down. On the flip side, if you take away Tommy, that’s like taking away the door. Yeah, now the house is not really functional, but it’s a much easier fix than building a whole new house. The writers of the show have a habit of not putting any effort into Buck and Eddie’s partners. It’s so obvious from the audience perspective when you look back on it, that none of those relationships were meant to last. They do a horrible job at hiding how temporary they are.
If you read this far into my ramblings, I’m sorry. You didn’t have to do that. you get a gold star. i’ll give it to you later i promise.
#911#911 abc#911 show#911 fandom#911 meta#911 analysis#911 season 7#athena grant#bobby nash#chimney han#maddie buckley#bathena#madney#abby clark#ali martin#taylor kelly#natalia dollenmeyer#tommy kinard#shannon diaz#ana flores#marisol nolastname#eddie diaz#evan buckley
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Buck and Eddie- What Matters Most
(A Character Analysis)
Thinking about Evan Buckley 'Rolls under a ladder truck with murder in his eyes after he was crushed by one of these to save Eddie'. Thinking about Eddie Diaz 'Usually level headed at work but abandons all rational thought to run up a ladder that just got struck by lightening because Buck was at the end of it'. Thinking about Buck and Eddie 'Goes up in a helicopter during a hurricane, when Eddie was in a helicopter that crashed traumatically, and Buck died last time he was up in a storm' -Literally their traumas combined.
Thinking about 'Do you know how much Christopher misses you?!' 'Maybe I could come and see Christopher'. Thinking about 'Hey Buck? Can I spend Christmas with you?' '-I'm sorry buddy, but uh- I'm gonna be working on Christmas, with your dad'. Thinking about how Buck and Eddie slip themselves into the spaces of each other's lives, how they've entangled themselves so much that they literally cannot be unwound.
Thinking about Buck outright saying "Eddie, I've been Ana." Which is pretty on the nose. And Eddie "I'm a nester, I nest" when he literally has not succeeded at a stable relationship with a woman, not once in his life. Shannon- things were consistently rocky, they kept abandoning each other. Ana was a relationship because Eddie thought Chris needed a mother figure. Marisol is because she's pretty and there's pressure from family/friends/society for Eddie to get back into dating.
Thinking about Eddie trusting Buck with his most vulnerable self, the version of him that's barely out of youth, with war PTSD, who hears echoes of gunshots, and the pain of people dying around him. Thinking about Eddie sobbing at the pain of all his trauma- and Buck being the guy there to patch him up; literally (Eddie's room) and figuratively (Eddie's psyche). And how Eddie describes Buck as 'the guy who wants to fix things' on multiple occasions, but Eddie hasn't pushed Buck away from him. In fact Eddie implicitly requires someone who's going to push and fight to fix things. Thinking about Eddie relying on Buck- and that's why he's furious in the lawsuit arc "I couldn't call you to bail me out of jail! ....If, that was something that happened." -Notice the shame Eddie experiences in that moment, not just that everyone knows he was bailed out of jail, but because everyone just heard how much he needed Buck. Everyone heard that he assumed Buck would be the person he could always count on. -How the lawsuit didn't damage Eddie's faith Buck would be there, but instead revealed it to the 118, and that wasn't something Eddie was prepared to expose- because it's too vulnerable.
Thinking about Buck loving with everything he has -to the point of clinging onto relationships that are damaging him. And Eddie insisting he's let go & isn't lingering in the past: 'You have to move on Buck- I have.' When that's a complete lie, and he's been repressing things as a coping mechanism for as long as possible. "I've got a reservoir of Catholic guilt just lying dormant, waiting to be activated."
Thinking about how they match each other and compliment each other in all the right ways. They both died, and saw each other die. They've both howled each other's names- and the other has no idea. They've both been searching blindly for the relationship that will 'fix them' and make them normal.
Eddie trusts Buck enough to rely on him, and here's the kicker- it's not just with Christopher. Buck does help Eddie with Christopher- the number 1 priority in Eddie's life. But Buck is basically the only person who has also helped Eddie with purely Eddie focused problems. Which is something Eddie would never consciously seek in a partner for himself- all of his girlfriends revolve around how good of a mother figure they are to Chris. But Buck is the one who does both: helping Chris, and helping Eddie.
On the flip side, Buck finds a sense of family in Eddie and Christopher- a sense that he's wanted, dreamed, and needed all of his life. Buck has been abandoned over and over, and it's wrecked his sense of self. He felt for a while that -if all he could be was a good fuck- then that's what he'd have to be. Because at least people could use him if they didn't want or like him. But Eddie and Christopher changed that for him. "My therapist says everyone needs a safe space- that was my apartment..." Buck says, and by S5 he's comfortable hiding out in Eddie's place, walks in, puts his feet up, and promptly falls straight asleep. Chris and Eddie love Buck as he is- they love him when he cooks, they love him when he tells them random facts, they love him when he memorizes the LA zoo lay out. Buck found a place outside of work (Hen "We all had lives before and outside the 118- what does Buck have?) where he isn't used, and he isn't just needed, he's fully and completely wanted.
Chris teases Buck "Buck, you don't even have a couch!" "Buck snores... Loud." The same way Chris teases Eddie "You were a bad cook." And Chris sure hasn't teased any of Eddie's girlfriends like that! Buck doodles a stupid heart "Misunderstanding the assignment" while Chris is doing his homework- And Eddie visibly finds it funny and sweet. Eddie folds his arms and gives Buck a pointed look when Chris asks to "Play video games at [Buck's] apartment" And as a result of Eddie's look, Buck denies Chris carefully. Buck and Eddie chime in "No." at Chim saying "Can't you both be good cop?" To random parents. No pre-thought, no discussion needed, just straight up agreement perfectly in sync with each other - because Buck and Eddie have experience with situations like this...
The fact is- Buck and Eddie have a relationship that truly goes beyond most labels. And regardless of what relationship/s they end up in, it's clear they'll never leave each other. They're in life together, in all the ways that matter most.
#911 abc#911 fox#buck/eddie#buck x eddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#christopher diaz#character analysis#deep dive#ship analysis#quoted as best I could
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I take notes when i watch new episodes so may i introduce my completely sane and succinct thoughts while watching 7x09
911 7x09 ashes, ashes
wheel of fortune is fun
Starting ahhhh the medal ceremony
Buck sitting between Tommy and Eddie is insane
I’m so proud of them omg
Bobby’s proud face
Bobby MEDAL OF VALOUR
oh no Bobby
Oh no Bobby
Chim and maddie are so sweet
RAVI MY BOY
Tommy and buck are cute tho
Oh fuck
Gerard
Homophobic cunt
I love when Maddie interacts with others
Bobby freaking out ahh
Oh no the mayor or whatever councilwoman
Oh my god I’m going to lose it if she fucks with the Wilson family I’m gonna lose it
Oh my god talk you out of something RESIGNATION FUCK I WAS RIGHT
BOBBY RETIRING
IM FREAKING OUT
WHO IS GOING TO REPLACE HIM
if they split up the 118 I’m gonna throw up
For fucks sake Eddie
A rowboat with your dead wife’s doppelgänger
WHAT WHY YOU SEEM SO FAMILIAR
this is wild
Eddie pull yourself together she is not your wife or your girlfriend (or your husband)
She’s really digging right to the core of him
Amir is back
Athena stop breaking the law
Athena and Amir friendship feels right
Is Bobby gonna kill himself bc I can’t handle that
Bobby I’m going to cry
He’s looking at his family
Why is the music making this so much worse
His last call with the team maybe
Bobby calling her Mother hen then looking at buck and Eddie
He’s dading Ravi I’m gonna cry
He’s having a dad moment with everyone one last time
“What are you making” Not me you” “you’re the chef tonight”
Buck being the new 118 chef I’m gonna throw up
Bobby stop it
Buck loved Bobby’s approval
I’m crying
Buck is so cute god
Father son moment I’m gonna throw up
“Here’s to seven more”
DAD SON DATING TALK MOMENT
IM GONNA THROW UP
OH NO
KIM BUCK IS SEEING KIM
BUCK WATCH OUT
HES LIKE FUCK
WHO DID YOU SAY YOU WERE
Would you mind giving these to him for me. Bucks gonna go to Eddie’s and it’s gonna end bad
DIAZ HOUSE
HES LIKE WHY IS BUCK HERE
BACK DOOR LMAO
MIRRORING THE SHANNON AT THE FIREHOUSE SCENE FUCK
EDDIE PLS BE SO FUCKING FOR REAL
they’re gonna argue aren’t they
It’s not like we’re having an affair GURL BE REAL RN
I’m worried about you SAME
The Wilson’s and Hans are so sweet
I’m gonna cry I love them
Oh no fucking councilwoman is meddling isn’t she
We’re halfway through and I’m shaking
Kim is shocked at least he told her I guess
But I’m not her (pls let this be the end of it)
Ok at lease he’s apologising
Pls tell her you have a girlfriend
I want Marisol to walk in
Eddie pls go to therapy
I think she was (the love of my life) girl rose coloured glasses
Unfinished business
Omg he’s gonna say everything to her for closure (and then Marisol can walk in)
Amir at the grant Nash house
I’m sweating
Amir and councilwoman team up would end the world
Amir getting very angry Bobby is gonna lose it
Oh no Bobby and Athena fight
Getting your affairs in order oh my god no
Bobby therapy pls
Bobby baby
Bobby and Athena are so sweet together
Pls communicate losers
Councilwoman I’m gonna fight you
If councilwoman swoops in and takes Mara I’m gonna throw up
She’s gonna ruin everything I’m gonna throw up
This is so fucked up
I’m gonna throw up
This is so fucked
I’m gonna fight the councilwoman
Eddie oh god is that Marisol
WHAT THE FUCK
SHES DRESSED UO AS SHANNON WHAT
OK SO MAYBE FOR CLOSURE BUT THIS IS FUCKED
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE
he’s going for it
Ok this is fucked but also kinda sweet
If they end up in bed I’m suing
Go to therapy
This is fucked
I want Marisol to walk in
YESSS
CHRIS NO
Bobby’s fucking house
Pls
Why is his dad in the kitchen ok dream ok
Bobby mental break
NOT THE BOOK
ALL THE PEIPLE YOU DIDNT SAVE
YOU WERE A CHILD
do you smell that
Fuck the poor house
Not the garden that’s where the family all get together
Athena oh no
Oh no oh no
It’s gonna end on this isn’t it
Oh my god
Why isn’t Athena waking up
Oh my god
The poor house
NOOO NOT A HEART ATTSCK
HIS HEART STOPPED FUCK OFF
NO IF THEY KILL BOBBY IM DEAD
THATS A CRUEL ENDING
TRAILER
Athena waking up and no Bobby
On a ventilator
THIS IS FUCKED
so yeah i obviously have a very very clear mind while watching my weewoo show
#911 abc#911#911 7x09#911 7x09 spoilers#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#evan buckley#bobby nash#athena grant#live reaction
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Now that I'm thinking about it I wanna theorize/call for action outside of buddie (don't worry i WILL return with a vengeance) but now I'm on a bit of an Eddie Diaz kind of run.
I'm reading a fanfic now of Eddie's sisters which kind of spawned me to think about his relationship with them and kind of think about his family dynamics and expectations and what's coming up for his storyline.
Now they mentioned bringing his family in, specifically his sisters, and i think this storyline ties into Marisol (noname i swear this drives me crazy when i think about it?!??! PLEASE if you want me to care/be invested gimme a last name!) and his Catholic guilt/sense of responsibility/man of the house complex.
They've introduced how his upbringing brought him a lot of guilt and a sense of duty (to serve and protect amirite? Dang religion can be a perfect line to how modern society works but lemme save that for a thesis or something this is about 911 on abc🤣)
Back on topic though, there's a really nice post talking about how he's military family and how that affected his and Shannon's relationship. (x)
Reading that helped me to appreciate the writing and details.
I also want to talk about the beautiful work being done on Twitter and Tumblr about the Miami Vice costume theory and coincidences.
(heh throwback Tuesday and takeover thursday came in clutch with finding these x )
Yes i do ship buddie, but if I look at it not just as a romantic things but as they are written as kind of parallel soulmates who run along the same line of development.
One always spurs the next to grow and change and are heavily involved in some way even if that way it's just being themselves.
Buck being open with his sexuality will trigger something in Eddie. What it is can vary.
I think if we look at it with non shipper glasses, Buck's freedom will lead to Eddie's freedom. What I mean by that is since Eddie had came to the 118 Ryan mentioned how each year he was there the more he learned about himself and other people.
I think what Eddie would be at free from the image/expectations of what a family should look like/be.
He knows what a family could look like in a queer/unconventional way. Bathena's unit, Chimney and Maddie's family (let's say cause they're not currently married with a toddler church would pass out), and HenRen's family.
The could be and should be is the important part.
Eddie grew up being told what he should be and what his life should look like. Evidently his life went none of the ways it was intended to go.
He's a widower single father from a teen/young pregnancy and veteran. Sure he's a firefighter now but he has no "complete" family.
The way they're emphasizing the mother aspect throughout his story is still fascinating.
(i also thought of something hilarious as like he probably imagined/process mothers as like the Virgin Mary or something when they brought up how he can see woman as mothers but not really women at the same time)
(also Madonna whore complex was mentioned and it's also a fascinating way to look at it as he can either desire or love.)
Shannon seems to be the only exception and even that is iffy. I would also say that when she became a mother the desire kind of left? I think the mother aspect solidified for him when she left them I would say.
Yes they did have sex but that was a (very bad, horrid) form of communication between them. They both avoided stuff at some point in some (eh it's like 20/80 her and Eddie) cases.
Every other woman he has dated has kind of been a substitute, for a lack of a better word, replacement for the role of mom.
Now he knows what moms should look like in all shapes and forms. He knows what dads should look like. He's knows what his family should look like.
Granted he did get rid of some of the flaws of his father and the way he was raised which also ties into the way he is.
Eddie was parentified at an early age. (I will say as a black/poc person that there tends to be adult responsibilities placed on our communities kids from young partially because of culture but mostly because of the inherent unevenness that we have to struggle to make balance worldwide in different facets and environments.)
Once again, this is about 911 on abc, not my thesis😭.
I just imagine him standing on a stool to cook food for his sisters or some other things like laundry. Or even worse the cannon car accident with his pregnant mom. (I love to make myself cry)
Eddie had technically been a parent since he was a kid. He literally became the man of the house or the father. So i guess that entailed taking on the emotional and sometimes physical burden of the father role.
I guess when he was actually a father and not just the role he felt the weight of responsibility again and panicked. It makes sense he has a habit of running since he never had the opportunity to do so as a kid (since he never got the chance to be one).
So after Chris it was once again role of the father but now with added responsibility of bringing money to provide the household which he didn't have to do in that role.
It was hard then so it became even more difficult.
So he gave his body to the military and returned wounded in mind and body, and with a disabled son who needed insurance and stability and a wife who just needed him.
And he needed to be a man. Again and again and again.
He broke out of the loop when he got to the 118 (bless the haven that is that building) met Buck, then Carla and Bobby who offered a safe place for his kid.
He was no longer alone and had distanced himself physical from the church but mentally still shackled in his beliefs.
After this Buck and Tommy things and he's not present we're going to focus on how a family could look for him.
Last season and recently they mentioned the fact that his aunt had been divorced and he didn't know.
There was also mention of family secrets.
There was also Marisol and Chris together which I'm guessing he wasn't to happy with her but it's either or since we haven't seen them together so it's a 50/50 chance. More like 90/10 he's annoyed or feels weird about his mom being replaced). Since we touched on him repairing his relationship with his mom and subsequently girls and women/relationships he wants to be in now that may shift his image of Marisol suddenly being more present.
Slight Buddie tangent (i gotta let the beat out for a sec raaa-) but the fact that he's still hanging out with Buck pretty consistently (well we can say he's his other parent who's sadly been in his life almost longer than his mom 🥺 lemme stop I'm crying) but it might decrease due to his and Tommy's relationship. (They're two firefighters with very busy schedules ofc he's not present they got work to do chop chop!/j)
In turn this leaves Chris with one less stable parent figure and it's forced to turn to Marisol who may be overeager to please him.
This can lead Chris to probably feeling uncomfortable with the changes because he's happy his dad's happy but he's not happy because it feels like his family's changing again too fast, and what if she leaves then his dad's not happy and a whole other sleet of teenage issues and angst.
So what I predict their storyline to be going it's that Eddie tries to find his own freedom from the church and maybe even the expectations of his home community would have on him.
Buck will be radiant in himself at the wedding, so will Hen and Karen, and Marie and Chimney, and Bobby and Athena.
He'll look around and look inward.
He'll stop focusing on what his life should look like and focus on what it could.
And that life could be just as radiant as the family he's apart of now.
(and that's all i could ask for 🥹)
#911 abc#oh i have ADHD#it's evident in the way i type#eddie diaz#911 fox#lgbtqia#911 speculation#911 season 7#this got out of hand#my writer skills kicked in#cry with me#evan buckley#911thursdaytakeover#911 meta#eddie diaz focused#buckley diaz family#the 118
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Can't sleep, and my mind is swirling with thoughts.
Major one is that the relationships that Buck and Eddie were in at the end of last season are clearly doomed to fail.
Every relationship for both of them, connected to an emergency call, has done so thus far.
Under the cut because she's long.
For Buck:
We have Abby.
They first "met" via a 911 call over the phone. The home invasion incident where Buck used the fire truck to pinpoint the location of the home. He had the siren on which perhaps was a foreshadowing that their relationship would ultimately have alarm bells going off in everyone's head (just maybe not Buck's until it was too late).
They meet face to face for the first time when Abby's mom goes missing. They also save a little girl from electrocution. Possibly indicating that something will always be missing in their relationship and also that they do have a spark between them, although it is most likely more one-sided.
And then, of course, we have the train derailment. Buck and Abby are reunited but not in the way Buck would have hoped. He is derailed from the knowledge that Abby has a fiance and it is evident that their relationship was ultimately a train wreck.
There's Ali.
Met during the earthquake. Their relationship seemed more casual and easy-going. Though, while they were dating, Buck moved into his own apartment. Earthquake... moving... moved into a new building... it's a reach, but still.
Then there was the bomb on the firetruck, and Buck was pinned beneath the truck, crushing his ankle/lower leg. Ultimately, their relationship crumbled due to the dangers and uncertainties of Buck's job.
And Taylor.
They met when Taylor's helicopter lost control. Which is perfect for them because everything about their relationship was a bit out of control. That relationship was nothing but lies and broken promises, two things that can only lead to crashing and burning.
I'm adding Lucy...
Just because they met on the bomb in the truck rescue. And them kissing helped blow up Buck and Taylor's relationship.
Natalia....
They met when a car crashed into a funeral. Like, need I say more?? Okay, I will.
This relationship will end quickly, and most likely, they won't even see it coming. So, I'm guessing that Natalia gets a job opportunity far away or she just can't deal with decisions that Buck makes...
Things could also end really bad for Natalia. Maybe a health scare or even death itself. Either way, I don't see her being around.
For Eddie:
Shannon.
We don't know how they met. So it's harder to include her, but she's important.
Shannon is still connected with a call, a car crash, and unfortunately, she doesn't make it. Which is oddly similar to Buck and Natalia. The only difference is that Buck and Natalia meet through the car crash and bond over death, and Eddie and Shannon end with a car crash after bonding over their past and the life they've lived.
Ana.
Now, I know what you're thinking... "But Eddie met Ana at Christopher's school" and you're right.
BUT...
They didn't get together until AFTER the emergency calls with the imposter fireman, which Ana did need assistance for a burn.
In this relationship, Ana got "burned" pretty bad in the break-up. And, just like that guy impersonating a firefighter, Ana, Eddie, and Chris were all impersonating a family unit.
But, I also believe this metaphor leans more so towards Eddie himself. He's constantly impersonating who others want him to be. This stems from his childhood and the way his father placed so much on his shoulders.
This is why I believe that Eddie struggles with his sexuality and why we'll know about him before anyone else.
Marisol.
Granted, not really a girlfriend, I suppose, but with the way the S6 ended with them, she has to be included.
Eddie met Marisol during a call at her home, where she has been busy with DIY projects.
Her brother gets trapped/buried alive/almost suffocated in her attic.
Isn't it telling that Eddie decided to ask Marisol out? He DIY'd it. He did it himself. But, ultimately, he will feel trapped in this relationship. Like Marisol is suffocating him with the relationship.
Obviously, I could be completely off-base here. Perhaps I'm inhaling fumes from all this clown paint... but, idk, what do you think?
#it's fun to be crazy#911 spoilers#911 fandom#evan buckley#911 speculation#buddie#eddie diaz#911 abc
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Wip Wednesday
Tagged by @giddyupbuck <33333 (I can't wait to read your Eddie whump) and @forthewolves (looking disrespectful at your smut) <333333
Secret fic was kind of guessed by my wife @hippolotamus and well I explained it to @thewolvesof1998 and some of you send me to jail so I revel secret.
It's amnesia fic : Eddie loses only one year of his life after head injury on the call, but this year starts exactly some days before lightning so Eddie doesn't remember Buck's death and coma and can't remember he understood his feelings, their confession and plan for first date
here is poor Eric dealing with Eddie's mess (and some angst for Eddie. not only Buck struggle)
Eddie laughs and he thinks it’s nice to talk with Eric. He’s funny and interesting and makes Eddie feel good, and all those feelings from the gym only grow right now in this cafe. Eddie definitely can think about a second date.
“Well, it’s so crazy. I remember once we were with all the team on the TV because Taylor Kelly decided that 118 can make her popular. Well, we kind of did,” Eddie with bitterness remembered his interview was one of the reasons redhead has her time at Channel 8.
“Wait, you’re from 118?” green eyes look at him with with great interest and surprise.
“Yes,” Eddie answers with a little question in his voice cause he can sense how Eric’s interest goes to not him, but something else. Like he expects Eddie to tell him the best gossip of his life.
(more under cut to save dash)
“OMG,” Eric almost jumps in his seat and bends closer to him and asks with excitement, “is it true that the guy who was struck by lightning almost a year ago and died for three minutes came back for work? Like real firefighting. How’s his name mmmm, oh yes, Evan Buckley.”
Eddie feels like it’s him, he was struck by lightning right now. Because it’s not possible he could forget Buck dying. But-but if it was almost a year ago it means it gets into a zone that he still can't remember.
Zone where details of his life that just don't puzzle in the picture in his head. And now he can tell why he feels sick even trying to remember it. Why when he tried hard to concentrate on the dates he felt nauseous.
Buck was dead. Buck was dead for three minutes. "AND SEVENTEEN SECONDS," someone inside his head is screaming it, someone whose voice is so similar to his own. But his voice screams with such pain that Eddie has never heard. Unless only when shouting towards the sunsets mourning Shannon alone.
His mouth is filled with the taste of ozone, and pain is felt in his body as if he fell unsuccessfully, and then later he sees it.
Such a familiar body that doesn't move and hangs so high above him. He hears his voice shouting “Buck”, feels dead weight in his hands, and feels like he wants to feel it closer, but he can't and he has to lower it, feels the steering wheel in his hands and hears all the prayers that he knows with a mixture of an internal timer counting down every second of hell, feels like the ribs are breaking but he would prefer to only hug them tightly, feels trapped near the ward, not daring to enter, hears the sound of Chris's voice talking to Buck, who does not answer him. And then he feels relieved when looking into insanely beautiful ALIVE blue eyes.
At this moment, he feels like his breathing is knocked down and as he is clearly struggling for air, he is working to calm down, trying to push air through the vice in his chest, squeezing him so hard that he's ready to scream in pain.
Gradually his breathing returns to normal and he meets the frightened green eyes.
“I’m so sorry, but I need to go,” he throws all the cash he has and runs outside, already taking out the car keys.
He needs to see Buck.
tagging @alyxmastershipper @jeeyuns @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @theotherluciferr @wikiangela @hippolotamus @911onabc @transbuck @fatedking @fortheloveofbuddie @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @monsterrae1 @lover-of-mine @loserdiaz @mandzuking17 @gayarthur @housewifebuck @honestlydarkprincess @cowboy-buddie @watchyourbuck @eddiediaztho @pirrusstuff @heartshapedvows @devirnis @rogerzsteven @spotsandsocks @spaceprincessem @wildlife4life
#fic: you can't forget love#now i abandon it to write bra fic and who knows when come back#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911#my wips
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It’s the questions that keep us going, that taunt us so we’ll come back again and again, whether we’re given any “definitive” answers which we might each interpret differently or left to wonder and imagine possibilities all on our own.
“I’ve been waiting a long time for this, warrior nun.” Doesn’t this line invite us to ask who Adriel might be talking to, exactly?
Of course Ava currently occupies the rank of warrior nun that gives the show its name… But we also know Ava is not a nun and that her qualification as a warrior is recent (setting aside the psychological fortitude she surely possesses as a survivor of the traumas that have shaped her past, to be sure). Even from his prison, Adriel was aware of the happenings in the outside world, be it from his connection to the divinium once used in his armour, be it thanks to informants such as Vincent in whatever modes of communication they might have had between them — so Adriel knows this, he knows of how unconventional it is for Ava to be the warrior nun. Isn’t it possible that, in this moment, he’s not talking to her, at least not as Ava Silva, the individual?
“I’ve been waiting a long time for this, warrior nun.” Only a couple of months have elapsed since Adriel has been freed of his tomb and made Ava’s direct acquaintance. Why would he make a reference to the millennium spent beneath the Vatican to her while calling her by her title rather than her name? It certainly cannot be a mention of those two months, as those are negligible in the conscience of an immortal being who has already waited a thousand years for reckoning.
He isn’t hinting at a vengeance against Ava Silva, as herself, even if she is the one standing in front of him in flesh and blood; he’s orchestrating a vengeance against “the warrior nun”, the abstract class of those responsible for his captivity in the first place.
It’s hard to say he necessarily sees Areala in Ava when he says “warrior nun”. Perhaps so, perhaps not. But he does seem to see in the current halo bearer an avatar of someone (or multiple “someones”) he intends to defeat, the echoes of the past embodied in a single woman, a vessel through which their voices may yet ring after they are long gone. Perhaps he can see more than any of us can — just as he sees the wraith demons and passes the ability on to Lilith, might it not be possible for him to see something else when he looks at Ava or, at least, in the direction of the halo?
Could the halo, as once suggested to me by @ghostofcatscradle, carry some of its previous bearers’ “essence” — providing one explanation to Ava’s “meetings” with Shannon or Areala in season one — preserving some portion of them even as it inhabits another woman’s flesh? Could that be readily visible to a being of Adriel’s species and provenance, as the wraiths are?
Or could he think he saw something? Adriel is posed as a much more powerful creature than a human, with much more knowledge at his disposal. He mentions how no human can carry the halo for long before becoming somehow twisted — but what if there is truth in the reversed idea as well and his own long stay on Earth has warped him? Sometimes we find that those deemed “mad” are the most lucid, but would it be such a strange inversion to consider that this amazing being who boasts of his greater lucidity might be the greatest madman himself? He barely attempts to solve the contradictions so clear to Ava when she points out how his discourse of wanting to save the world from Reya's oppression is unaligned with his own forceful, violent methods of combat which cause suffering to the same creatures he claims to champion. Perhaps he comes from a pre- or post- logic realm. Perhaps he is insane. Maybe he is just a power-hungry sophist who will use whatever justification is at hand to legitimate his own selfish cause.
“I’ve been waiting a long time for this, warrior nun.” Vindication, yes, but in what form? At the end of season one, Adriel sought to seize the halo, yank it out of Ava and be done with it. In season two, he wants a fight instead of just trying to reach for it and accomplish his goals. Yes, his plans concerning Reya had just been spoiled… But if he had been “waiting a long time”, then this battle is not about what just happened in regards to Reya and the ark. It’s ancient, it’s personal. It’s not just the halo anymore — was it ever?
When Ava resurrects, is that the halo’s doing? When Mother Superion is brought back to life, is that the halo’s handiwork? Could it be sentient as some like to hypothesise it is? Or, as an object said to have been stolen from Reya, is it accomplishing her mysterious will by manifesting such powers? Or could it be that the equivalence between Reya and God made by Michael after a lifetime under the former’s spell is not as true as he was led to believe and there might be another, grander, perhaps even will-less entity pulling the strings?
Or could it be that the miracle is not divine, but Ava’s? Perhaps not even just hers, but something available only to humans, that Suzanne might carry as well, something that recognised her as it recognised Ava while she was brought back. There are no records of the halo resurrecting people…
… But it is said to give different bearers different powers. How or when does a bearer develop a new ability? Is there a limit to how many she can find and use? Might they not overlap sometimes?
Moreover, in an environment that firmly believes the halo is a weapon against its enemies, did anyone ever bother to ask whether it could do the opposite of slaughter, if it could be used for purposes unrelated to war against so-called Hell? It takes Jillian, an outsider to the Order, to voice that curiosity.
For each possibility listed above as far as who is behind performing miracles, what accompanying conclusions might there be?
The halo as a sentient object seems to open less interesting consequences than a world where a higher force has confusing aims or is truly neutral and both favours and hampers the living; or one where even common people, even “freaks”, as Ava calls herself more than once, are capable of miracles, of changing their world given the right support and tools.
We don’t actually need hard, official answers.
It’s the suggestions, the maybes, the could bes that really hook us in — is it any wonder that the more dedicated avatrice shippers are so focused on the potential for that time period spent in Switzerland, off-camera, which we did not witness?
The questions are inexhaustible — even with just eighteen total episodes, even when there was yet so much to see. If we can keep asking questions, if we see the beauty in them and how much more enticing they can be compared to a creator’s answers or incomplete plans (Mary taking vows and replacing Superion, really?!), we’ll have perhaps even more on our plates than another season would have given us. Which isn’t to say we shouldn’t mourn the loss of a continuation but merely to duly cherish what we have effectively received and give it its due attention.
It’s what’s left unsaid or unexplained, it’s what even creators might say isn’t set in stone and still open for debate (such as the halo being sentient or not); the blanks, the doubts and possibilities are where we come in with our understanding or our own stories. Why? How? What if?
Keep finding questions to ask... And Warrior Nun lives on.
#warrior nun#this has been sitting here for weeks on end lol time to post it#my plea so that you don't move on i guess#exercises in observation#sometimes when i express surprise at the amount of aus i see floating around it's because i think the show has enough questions#to warrant fics that hover a bit more close to home. not necessarily canon-compliant but just more in tune with it#if that makes sense. i'd give an example of something i myself have written but#my big au that changes One Detail is yet to be written. it's all in my head just not on paper.#i also express surprise at how little we talk about all of these things and more -- the worldbuilding the lore the what ifs#but anyway. if you follow me you probably knew that already#i suppose this also classifies for that other tag of mine#meta fandom talk i guess
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Can I get a fic using 7. " She had a way of making you see things differently" and 39. "You tell me how it’s your fault and I’ll tell you how you’re wrong"
Title: Mourning Period
Word Count: 1471
Warnings: Thoughts of suicide/drinking (!!! also major spoilers for anyone who hasn't watched judgement day part 1/2 !!!)
Pairings: GibbsxReader, (past GibbsxJenny)
A/N: for purposes of causing the most pain possible, let's just pretend diane and macy were dead before all of this.
He didn't know what to do, his brain was spinning in circles as he stepped around the room. He didn't dare touch anything, didn't dare breathe too hard for fear of his own scent overpowering hers. Her jacket was still draped over the bak of her chair, the fabric was soft between his fingers as he ran his hands over them. It had been a week. 7 days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes. 604,800 seconds. Vance was moving in his stuff tomorrow. He hadn't let him sit in the chair, or at the desk, just at the conference table.
He also couldn't sit. At least not on the furniture. He found a corner beside the liquor cabinet that seemed suitable enough. Liquor and guns never mixed, and yet at the moment he had both. One in one hand and one in the other. Both of them were targeted for his head. He chose the drink first, keeping the gun close, just in case the alcohol didn't work. He drowned himself in the memories and the feelings and the touches. All the stolen glances and conversations that went on longer than they should have. All the knowing smiles and unknowing ones too. He never really loved any of his wives after Shannon. But he loved Jenny Shepard. He had always loved her, and he always would.
-
-
-
"Gibbs, breathe." You handed him a glass of water. You had come back to the office late to drop off a small box of Jenny's things that she had left at your apartment. Her house had had to be fumigated about a year ago and she had never gotten around to picking them up. The funeral was today and you figured it was time. While you were in the office, you spotted your boss sitting in the corner on the floor, a bottle and a half of scotch completely gone. "It's ok, it's gonna be ok." Now you were sitting next to him, the alcohol far out of reach, instead a glass of water and two aspirin took its place. You had also noticed his service weapon tucked in his lap, unloaded, the magazine sitting on the table in front of you. You didn't want to think about why he had it, so instead you focused your attention on him.
"I miss 'er," he slurred, head against the wall. "Loved 'er."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Mhm. She was erey' thing. Franks told me she still had feelin's. Shoulda been there. Shoulda saved 'er. Not Tony or Ziver's fault. My fault."
You sighed, reaching over to take his hand to stop him shaking. "You tell me how it's your fault and I'll tell you how you're wrong."
"My fault cause I shoulda told 'er I felt the same. Never stopped lovin' Jenny."
"I know. She was my best friend, I know."
"She ever talk 'bout me? Did ya' know?"
You gulped. She had, quite a lot actually, but you weren't sure if that was going to help the situation or make it worse. You tapped your glass a few times, thinking, before you answered. "She did. Sometimes she complained about how you never listened, but then she would tell some story and you were always the part she smiled at."
"Shoulda' told her."
"She knew."
"Then why the hell didn't she do somethin' 'bout it?"
"Probably the same reason you didn't."
You watched the way he stared at her desk. You had seen that look often, when he stared at Ziva's desk. Even though she was a great addition to the team, he missed Kate. It was also the same look he got on a single day of the year, the day Shannon and Kelly had been killed. He had loved and lost so many times you weren't sure if there was any love left for him to give.
"What was she like?" You asked. "Before I met her, before I met you. Paris."
"She had a way of making ya' see things different. We could be lookin' at a case file, I got one idea and she always had the right one. Not even that, jus' any situation she could turn 'round. I's half empty, she'd always be half full."
"What happened between you two?"
"She left." He stated plainly. The drinks had certainly gone to his head and part of you felt like asking him questions that he wouldn't like sober was wrong, but you needed him to talk. He needed to talk. He wanted to talk. "Didn't fit into her picture perfect plan. Too many loose ends, a liability." He finally knocked back the pain medicine you had set down for him.
"Is that what you think you are? A liability?"
"Why ya' ask that?"
You shrug. "I figure a self respecting, half-decent, Marine doesn't drink himself silly with a gun sitting three feet away unless he plans do to something to himself."
"Not gonna do anythin'."
"You know, for someone who's a great interrogator, you're not very good at lying." You gently laid your head on his shoulder. "Why do you think you're not good enough? I see it in your eyes all the time. When you're bossing us around, you seem like the biggest guy out there; when you sit at your desk and just look at us all, being silent Gibbs, you look like you're thinking. Like you're afraid to say the wrong thing. You don't believe in yourself."
"Everyone I love dies, Y/N. Everyone that loves me is dead."
"And why do you think that?"
"Shannon, Kelly, Kate, Diane, Macy, now Jenny?"
"You think those are the only people that love you? What about our team? Abby, Ziva? Me?"
"Don't love me like they did. Not like Jen. Miss 'er."
"I miss her too."
"Why didn't ya' save her?"
You had momentarily forgotten the fact that he was drunk and probably suicidal but the question made you realize just how much he was hurting right now. It was true, it was your fault. Well- not really your fault, you had agreed with Ziva but Tony had insisted that everything was fine and the Director could take care of herself. You shook yourself out of your head and went back to Gibbs. "You need to get home, or at least off the floor." You put his arm over your shoulder, doing your best to lift him off the ground. You made it a few steps over to the couch and helped him down. "I'll stay if you want me to. If you'd rather be alone.." You bit your lip, not really liking the idea of leaving him alone in this state. Before you could stay, a single word slipped from his lips.
"Stay."
"Ok.." You grabbed a blanket from the bottom drawer in Jenny's desk, draping it over the both of you. You wanted tea but that would mean leaving the room, and Gibbs. You counted the seconds as the clocked ticked and ticked and ticked.
The next time you looked over, his eyes were closed and his breathing had steadied. You were sore for sitting for so long and you decided getting yourself a cup of coffee would be helpful. You stood up and took a few steps but before you could get past him, he snagged the hem of your shirt.
"Huh?" You turned around.
"Wanna talk."
You nodded, understanding. "I'm going to use the restroom and get some water. You want water or a coffee?"
"Coffee. Black."
"Ok. I'll be back." You patted your hip to make sure his gun was still there next to your own.
The office was dark. Even the janitors had gone home and there was no flashlight of any of the night officers to be seen. The only light was that from the vending machines. You filled up his cup with coffee and yours with water and grabbed you each a chocolate bar. You took your time walking back upstairs, just trying to give your boss some space. You missed Jenny like hell but you had a different way of dealing with it. Instead of crying about it, you blocked it out. You clicked open the door, expecting to see Gibbs in the chair. Instead, he was curled up on the couch reading a magazine.
"You look better," you say.
"Just because I look better doesn't mean I am."
"Here." You hand him the coffee and situated yourself on the couch next to him. "I'm gonna get some sleep if you don't mind. Jenny always let me sleep on her couch when I didn't want to go home. You can stay if you want."
"Yeah."
You stayed like that for a minute or two in awkward silence when you felt tears welling at your eyes. You hadn't cried when Jenny was shot, you hadn't cried at the funeral earlier today, you couldn't remember the last time you cried, and yet here you were. About to cry. Crying. "Gibbs." you whisper. Nothing else needed to be said.
He pulled you down on the couch next to him and let you lay down, your head on his chest and his arm around you. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. If you didn't have each other, you weren't really sure what either of you would do. "Thank you, Y/N. Need you right now."
"I think…" you trail off, "I think I need you too."
TAGS:
@aleck-cross @ah-blossom @ilovemark1951 @marennnx @originalsoulcollector @hotchmeeeeeuppppp @kittenlittle24 @twilightlover2007 @whoreforhondo @pinkcrystal44 @marvelslut16multistangirl07 @alexxavicryry @leroyjethrogibbsgirlrl @hobbsy27-blog
#ncis x reader#ncis#leroy jethro gibbs x reader#leroy jethro gibbs#gibbs x reader#jibbs#grief/mourning
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This came to me in a dream, no joke, but first time we see Eddie, he's shirtless, putting on the uniform, being described by his accomplishments when Buck asks who he is, graduated top of his class in the academy, army vet, medic, silver star, right? Season 3 we have Bobby telling Buck "[the uniform] is not a costume, it's who you are" as Buck saves someone without the uniform, then in season 5 we have Bobby stopping Eddie from coming back before he's ready because what Eddie needed wasn't the job, the job was very much part of the things that were killing Eddie, his answers weren't the job so much so he just has to accept them while in a uniform that doesn't even has his name on it, because Eddie is not being defined by being a firefighter. But Eddie does define himself like father and husband as a combined thing even though his wife is dead and he's a fantastic single father, he keeps trying to fix mistakes he made with Shannon with someone else while playing pretend with these women he picked for Christopher, not himself, right? I feel like there's a level of self acceptance going on in the season with the chances of Bobby dealing with his guilt about his family, Buck and his queerness, even Eddie and the catholic guilt, and I feel like Eddie being freed off a literal costume he's wearing while letting loose for the first time ever when he has always been in this contained "army vet, medic, has a silver star, best of his class" box that he still keeps himself in when he already worked thought most of the boxes he put in his own life is going to be quite literal. I blame Ryan for saying Eddie might break again but like, that's the box Eddie needs to break to actually be happy. The one that makes him act as if to be a good father he needs to be a good husband to some proper woman his parents would like. The one of what he thinks his life is supposed to be like so he can actually do what he wants with his life. Like, we knew that but I was thinking about the costume department and how they use clothes in such a brilliant way in this show, we saw Eddie get in that box the very first time we saw him, if we consider the way everyone is looking at him through a glass since he's inside the locker room we can make that even more literal, now they're getting him out of it.
#does this make sense or am i tripping#im not fully awake yet kspsksokssa i just knew the thought would escape me if didn't type it all out now kapakapkapakaaaok#anyway#911 meta#911#911 spoilers#911 speculation
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⇢ 118fam + saving each other [part 1 • part 2]
[Image ID: 23 GIFs from 9-1-1, arranged in different sizes.
GIF 1: Eddie reassures Bobby about Jonah, “Whatever responsibility you take for Jonah, you make sure you take some credit for me.”
GIF 2: Bobby and the team tell Buck he’s not going to transfer, “And when he does [come back], you’re gonna be right here, where you belong. ”
GIF 3: Buck brings Eddie to see Charlie. “He got the help he needed. And that started with you. You gave him that second chance.”
GIF 4: Bobby empathises with Eddie and his loss of Shannon, “Every day, you heal a little bit more. Then one morning, you wake up and losing her isn’t the first thing you think about.”
GIF 5: Maddie tells Chimney, “I got out of the ocean for you. For both of you.”
GIF 6: Chimney tells Hen, “Hen, you are the best caregiver that I know. So go do whatever you need to do to heal you, because the world needs you back and so do I.”
GIF 7: Maddie tells Buck he’s not going to end up alone. “Evan. You are not Red. His life is not your future.”
GIF 8: Buck, with Hen, tells Bobby, “Maybe ask for help once in a while?” Bobby, crying, asks, “Help.”
GIF 9: Bobby talks to Eddie, “I just wanna make sure you don’t think you have to lose everything before you can allow yourself to feel anything.”
GIF 10: Athena says to Bobby, “We’re survivors.”
GIF 11: Buck reassures Chim’s fears about fatherhood, “Chimney, you’re not giving yourself enough credit, okay? You’re gonna be a great dad.”
GIF 12: Bobby holds Chim as he cries, “You’re not helpless, Chim. You’re right here, pal. So are all the people who love you.”
GIF 13: After the tsunami, Eddie tells Buck, “Buck, there’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.”
GIF 14: Eddie tells Buck maybe he can’t fix Chim and Maddie right now. “You’re the guy who likes to fix things. But maybe this isn’t something you can fix.”
GIF 15: Hen reassures Chimney after Shannon dies on his watch, “You had a tough call. But you made the right one. I’m proud of you.”
GIF 16: In church, Bobby asks Athena, “Could I ask you to pray with me?” Athena replies, “I’d like that.”
GIF 17: After Eddie tells Buck about his will, Eddie says, “You act like you’re expendable. But you’re wrong.”
GIF 18: Chim takes Bobby to see the kids he saved, asks him, “Now you tell me that’s the wrong kid.”
GIF 19: When Eddie comes to ask for his job back, Bobby tells her, “You need to go talk to someone, work out whatever’s going on.”
GIF 20: Eddie reassures Buck, “If that’s how you feel, how they made you feel, you have every right to say so.”
GIF 21: Jee’s doctor tells Maddie, “Mom should get a thank-you, too. If we hadn’t caught this so early, we might not be so lucky. It was a good call bringing her in.”
GIF 22: When Maddie is worried about parenting, Buck tells her, “This is not the first kid you raised. That was me.”
GIF 23: Bobby berates Buck, “You don’t talk to the women you’re dating. You just go with the flow and find yourself in a relationship with no idea how you got there or what to do when things start to go wrong.”
/end ID]
#911edit#911#911 on fox#911 fox#tvedit#ishaedits#tuserad1thi#daily118#tuserzee#userdahlias#tuserksn#usersiren#tuserarah#usernymika#useralie
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