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ouroborosorder · 7 months

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Guide Ahead Means Something To Me

Writing about Guide Ahead is…. extremely difficult, for a few reasons. One is that it is a very dense story, and to fully unpack it would require an essay so unfocused that it would be functionally unreadable. But the biggest one is that Guide Ahead is a story that focuses really heavily on the subjective nature of interpretation. How can I speak authoritatively on the thematic meaning of the plot when even a basic description of its events demands a deeper poetic interpretation?

The answer is “I can’t.” So, let’s piss off my English teacher, and coat an entire essay in the phrase “in my opinion.” Because I have to get personal if I’m going to tell you why Guide Ahead is my favorite video game story ever told.

I was raised Mormon. My mother was religious, but my father was absolutely not. You can understand why I related to Cecilia basically immediately.

Ultimately, the thing that draws me to Guide Ahead is the very thing that makes it hard to write about. Guide Ahead is, in my reading, a story about the subjectivity of divine meaning.

The most obvious manifestation, and the most important, is Law. But, Law’s execution, in traditional Arknights fashion, is kinda unclear, so I’ll recap for those who have hobbies outside of this, unlike me.

Law is the supercomputer buried underneath Laterano, and is the sentient religion that binds all the Sankta together into a hivemind of sorts. The Sankta are actually just Sarkaz connected to Law, given halos, wings, and empathic communication between each other. But, the main thing they gain, is a biological impulse to obey the Lateran religion’s thirteen doctrines. Anyone who breaks these doctrines are marked as Fallen, are cut off from the empathic connection, and slowly revert back to Sarkaz. Law represents religion as a concept and a community. Saints and sinners are just one and the same. But despite that, the laws of religion are created just to perpetuate the existence of a special in-group. One enforced by empathic connection they cannot share with anyone outside of them. That is Patia’s point - the Sankta have created an “us” and a “them,” and even the devout Liberi are not seen as “us.” They’re just converts, not real Sankta.

But, Falling has… weird grey areas. Like how Andoain was able to shoot Lemuen, or draw his gun on the fucking Pope, and not Fall in the process. This is because the doctrines are not actually the guidelines they’re held to. The Doctrines are subjective interpretations of the objective Law that they are all beholden to. That Law being “It must survive.” Law only is interested in the perpetuation of Itself, and, as a result, the continued existence of the Sankta as a societal structure.

This is the first and strongest example of what I mean when I say Guide Ahead is about meaning. Law says that the failure of religion is ultimately that religions supplant any subjective meanings with an “objective” meaning. But this “objective” meaning is just another person’s interpretation of the in-group’s best interest. Laws biologically programmed into the Sankta’s souls are revealed to be nothing but interpretation of Law’s interpretation of events.

People Fall not because they have broken a concrete law, but because Law… because the in-group has decided they did. Or when they broke the rules, they did something that’s good for the church. There is no objective laws within the Lateran religion, no matter what the machine is named. The system just declares sin when it deems worthy, and absolution when sin is a benefit.

It is this very hypocrisy that drives Andoain.

——————————————————————————————————

I remember being pulled aside at church one day. Everyone above 14 was given a sermon about the recent legalization of gay marriage. He said it was wrong, the church would never accept it. I asked him if it was like the time the church refused to give black people the Priesthood. He said this was different. I asked him how. He did not answer. I left and someone followed me out. He asked if I was okay. I told him whatever he was saying in there was not the teachings of any god that I know, and wasn’t the teachings of any god that loves me. I kept going to church after that, but deep down, I think I didn’t believe in it anymore. I didn’t feel like part of the community, I lost that reciprocation with my people. I just… began to think.

Andoain, as an antagonist, is defined by a search for meaning. He was the bishop of an Iberian church, and Iberia is doing pretty bad lately. His request for aid from Laterano was denied, and the message was clear to him. “You are one of us, but they are not.” But that answer just created a new question. Why? Why would those who claim faith and utopia as their ideals reject those who are suffering?

He searched for an answer in exile, and he didn’t find one. Instead, he found another story. The Sarkaz man who died in the watchtower to warn a town who hated him of an invading force. And this story made his question develop. Why would someone who is hated by everyone give their life to protect those very people? And why would those people then cry over the grave of someone they hated?

He had seen the realities of the Sarkaz and Sankta laid bare, but he couldn’t figure out the meaning behind it. He tells Cecilia these stories, knowing full well he doesn’t know what to make of them. I think he tells them to hope he finds the point partway through.

——————————————————————————————————

As much as I hate the Mormon church for dear god everything they’ve ever done holy shit look at them? My feelings are predictably complicated. Years later, my family fell upon hard times. I don’t want to say more than that for my own sake. We were struggling to even live. But… the church helped us. None of us gone to church for years, but they offered a hand. They gave us access to the Bishop’s Storehouse, gave us food and supplies for free, because we were starving.

And yes, I know. I know they do this in an attempt at creating a false brotherhood in an effort to create a fascist sense of community. I have also read that part of Brothers Karamazov. I have also read Guide Ahead, come to think of it. But… Shit. Most of them tried to pretend we didn’t exist when we met them in the grocery store. And… they still helped us. In their eyes, I was Fallen.

But still, they saved us, and didn’t even ask for faith in return. I still can’t figure out why.

This is why I just… can’t see Andoain as a villain. I mean, yeah, he shot Lemuen, but even she doesn’t blame him for shooting his friends while holding the Stick That Makes You Shoot Your Friends. His entire goal is an attempt to sort through the cognitive dissonance between what the church tells him and what the church does. A dissonance that is, because of Law and the doctrines, innate to what the church is. An experience that should feel damn familiar to anyone who has spent time as an apostate. His plan is to simply confront the Pope about this hypocrisy, to get an answer, to find a meaning.

The answer he gets back is… It Must Survive. Law must survive. The in-group must survive. It doesn’t matter if we cry over the grave of the Sarkaz, because the Sarkaz would die for us. He searched for the answer to a question, the meaning of a statement. You are one of us. They are not. All this time, he searched for the meaning of those words, but in reality, those words were the meaning. That was all they ever had to say. He just needed to accept that.

…but if the in-group is all that mattered… why allow Mostima in Laterano? Why give her her position? She’s not needed for the survival of the in-group, the Law has deemed her an exile.

And… Why not Andoain?

Before he leaves, his gun is taken from him. A gun that, according to the church, has meaning. A meaning he takes as truth. He believes a part of him is left behind there. I don’t think he realizes it, but Mostima and Fiammetta are the question he left behind. They are Not Sankta, but yet they are accepted. And… I don’t know if there is a meaning to that. I still can’t figure out why.

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For a long time, I missed those days spent in the community I had left. I would remember the things I left behind. The churchball basketball games we were destined to lose. The conversations held on the roof of the storage building behind the church. The scouting activities that were clearly an excuse to go bowling. The shitty halloween parties with the game where you ate donuts tied to a string hanging from a fishing pole. I missed it, for a time. I couldn’t help but look back.

Cecilia is searching for meaning to almost everything. When Andoain tells his stories to Cecilia, he tells her that he can’t find the meaning of them. That if there is meaning to be found, she’ll have to find it herself. So. She does.

Cecilia was faced with the same situation Andoain was obsessed with. But for her, it wasn’t hypothetical. She existed between Us and Them. She felt the pull between the community and the love and fun they represent, and the outsiders who were hated and rejected by the people around her. Society told her the meaning of her dual identity, the meaning behind each half, and then told her to choose. But… she’d experienced otherwise. She’d felt the kindness of the Sarkaz from the Pathfinders, and the hatred from the Church. She’d felt things that contradicted the meaning that she was told was true.

Her story isn’t just being forced to pick a side between the church or apostacy, it’s being forced to pick what meaning she ascribes to the world. Ultimately, that’s why her answer can only be her own. Your belief is… subjective.

And she answered… with a bell. A Sarkaz girl, bearing a halo, ringing a bell that has not been rung since the Sankta were still called Teekaz. A bell that once marked the beginning of the new era. A bell that carries the weight of a Sarkaz, hated by the place they called home. A bell that rings with the melody of a Sarkaz lullaby once sung by a Sankta. A bell that asserts her answer. She’s not Sarkaz, she’s not Sankta. She is Cecilia.

Everyone else finds their own subjective meaning within that action. Something as mundane as the ringing of the bell suddenly has more meaning than divine scripture.

No one else understood the nuance of what she said, but they understood parts of it. They understood what they wanted to. Those who know nothing of Lateran culture understand it as just… a beautiful welcome, celebrating the arrival of talks of peace. Most have their meaning determined by the church’s traditions. The pious see it as the beginning of a new era, whatever that signals to them. To the Church, it is that their talks will bring about a new era of peace. To the Pathfinders, it is a signal to begin their attack on Laterano to begin their new era.

There is so much meaning in that action, but in the end, it’s still just a fucking bell. There’s got to be hundreds, maybe thousands of them in Laterano. But this bell meant something more than the other bells. This bell had meaning, and that meaning made it divine.

This, to me, is what Guide Ahead has to say. That there is so much meaning to be found in something as mundane as a ringing bell. Within such a simple action, there is personal expression, liberation, the sound of change. And in all of this, there is the echoes of divinity, the echoes of faith, as if all of these things are, in themselves, divine.

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When I left the church, I couldn’t help but look back, still tethered to a community who hated me. I think I wished I could stop looking back. I don't know if I realized I was.

In the end, everyone else looks back. They still have meaning to be found in Laterano. Andoain looks back, a part of his soul anchored there by the symbol he was told to believe in. Mostima looks back, knowing she’ll return just as she always does. Fiammetta looks back, because she refuses to let herself leave. Ezell looks back, unsure if he will be able to return home after what he has found.

But… Cecilia doesn’t. She has decided that she is not defined by the church, or the meaning they try to give her. She has decided to leave Laterano and see the world outside of it, to explore the world around her and find the meaning for herself.

And the last thing Cecilia does is... defined by ambiguous meaning. She sees Andoain walking in the sunset - and a word appears to her. The title of Martyr. A title she doesn’t understand the meaning or weight of, but that she feels is appropriate regardless. A title that, to other people, would mean something more. But to her, brings to mind the saints she heard of as a youth, a word her mother told her was important.

The story is ending, and they end it with an assertion. Cecilia is finding meaning, and others will find what they will within. Perhaps even she doesn't know all of it.

A while back, during a theater rehearsal, I suddenly remembered a conversation I had years before I left the church. I remembered speaking with my friends outside of the chapel after a sunday service. My friend said a sentence that has stuck with me ever since. “I don’t think science goes against God. I think God uses science and math. I think those things are holy, because they’re… what everything is made of.”

I remember looking around the rehearsal space and thinking that if science could be sacred, then… so is this moment, now. So is my time spent with the people I love. This is sacred. What I missed, what kept me looking back. It wasn’t the actual religion, but instead… just belonging to something. So… I stopped looking back. In that moment, however fleeting it was, I had found whatever it was I needed.

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Look. You probably had a different interpretation of Guide Ahead. This story is just… So goddamn dense. There is so much there that I didn’t even touch on. For the love of god, I just did an analysis of Guide Ahead and didn’t even really discuss Fiammetta?? What kind of hack writer am I? (I just… couldn’t talk about her without being more personal than I am willing to be in public.)

If you have an interpretation that is different than mine, that’s great. I encourage you to hold on to it, and hold it close. That meaning is yours, and yours alone, and that’s a precious thing.

Because to me, what I found… is that very idea.

There is meaning to be found in anything - and a meaning that is yours, and yours alone. All you have to do is find meaning. and the idea that there is meaning to the world, that everything has meaning not because there is a “true” meaning to it, but because we find one there, because we put one there… that makes everything feel… divine, to me.

So… wherever you find meaning, you can find the divine.

You can find divinity in a ringing bell. In a terrible cactus tart. A carnival game you know how to beat. The promises of peace around a table. A cup of coffee. A city you hate. A community you love. A flower growing near a grave. A weapon you carry. A people you surround yourself with.

Those are all… holy to me.

And to me… that meaning is enough.

I hope yours is for you.

#arknights #critical analysis #feel free to reblog #i know this is personal but don't worry I wrote it to be shared #thank you all.#finally i can rest

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doctoraxiom · 3 months

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It's actually fascinating to me how much the "palworld is plagiarism and uses ai" post is going around.

First of all the "AI" game that that studio released seems to be a tongue in cheek criticism of AI artists not having talent (but feel free to give me more info here, I only know what reading the product page for AI: Art Impostor tells me)

Second of all the developer being interested in generative AI for games isn't inherently a sign of plagiarism**- I intend to use generative AI for my games that is trained on MY OWN ART. It's not too different from procedural generation at that point because the algorithm itself (or it's training and fine tuning) becomes the art and you're not plagiarizing from anyone but yourself.

Third of all- knockoff games have existed for-fucking-ever and if it's derivative enough it's not plagiarism. And if you're talking about "plagiarism" of the gameplay since palworld has mechanics from several other genres pretty much copy pasted- I hear you- but no one throws a fit about doomlikes being exactly like other doomlikes, or soulslikes straight up copy pasting souls mechanics without even bothering to come up with an in-universe justification (looking at you, Jedi Fallen Order). I'd argue this is actually more creative than that to turn mechanics from multiple other franchises into a cohesive gameplay experience because putting a mechanic into a totally different game is actually really hard to fine tune into feeling good for the player!

Is a work derivative enough to add something new? Or combine old works in a new and novel way? Palworld definitely seems to combine several known mechanics in a novel and fun way. In the very worst case it's in a grey area.

Also the recent anti-plagiarism mass movement was created to protect small creators from getting bullied out of their due. Who are you trying to protect here? Nintendo? Pokemon was a rip-off of digimon and the jrpg's of that time. You gonna get up in arms about that?

This knee jerk hearing something is indirectly related to AI and assuming everything associated with it is stealing and bad needs to stop.

/endrant

**Also I can't find any direct evidence that they tried to use AI in development! Lots of people expressed interest in generative AI before the techbros hopped on the bandwagon and tried to monetize it as an art-stealing machine. This is not an admission of guilt.

#rant #video game rant #ai rant #palworld #reposted from earlier due to questionable op #leave jerma alone

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0lk0s · 8 months

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rhysand ramble, idk if i make sense

i absolutely despise rhysand. like i need stronger word than hatred to convey my feelings regarding him.

BUT IM EVEN MORE PISSED ABOUT THE WASTED POTENTIAL OF HIS CHARACTER!!!

in the first book he was sort of interesting character and I was actually looking forward to learn more about him. because he was actually giving morally grey character, but of course sjm had to make him the good guy while still using his 'moral greyness' as a shield against all the heinous things he did. she took a sort of morally grey character and transformed him into goody two shoes who can't do no wrong and all he does is make the world better place. like???!?!

if he was presented as 'yes, i did those terrible things and no, i don't feel remorse, because i FEEL like i had to do them' then maybe i wouldn't hate him. because i don't hate him for the things he did, more so i hate him for not being able to admit that he did them and it's wrong. and im talking about UTM, illyrian women, CoN women and children, his abusive behavior to Feyre, his weird vendetta against Nesta. all of those are wrong. period. there should be no debate, readers should be able to say 'oh, what he's doing is wrong' but instead we got rhys/feysand stans arguing that he is 'morally grey' and he had to do it blah blah blah. is sjm to blame for presenting it this certain way? yes! but also you as a reader should think about what you're reading and not parrot what is written on the paper. because news flash i can write 'color red doesn't exist' and from my pov it might seem like it really doesn't exist, but you know that is not true.

but back to his potential. his character could have gone so many interesting ways. we could have gotten redemption arc because he wanted to be a better man(fae male?) for feyre. we could have gotten corruption arc and feyre having to fight him. or he could have stayed in the morally grey area for all i care. it would also be interesting to see how his power troubles him and the question of what is okay and what no to do with it. his trauma could have been also addressed and discussion about how it manifests in his obsessive need to be in control would also be nice. but no we got this PERFECT 500 year old male with some nightmares who did bad things but only to protect the people he loves, but other than that he'd NEVER done anything bad in his life.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that all the nuance surrounding him disappeared because sjm had to self insert herself into feyre lmao.

im down to have civilized discussion but idk if it's possible in this fandom.

#anti rhysand #but also not really #anti sjm #pro nesta #nesta archeron #pro feyre #feyre archeron

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drdemonprince · 1 year

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Hey Devon,

I've been thinking a lot lately about the idea of there being a hard line between "autistic" and "not autistic". Do you think that there exists some kind of innate Truth about each person, that they are either autistic or not? I guess I'm referring to the concept of a neurotype, where differences run deep, and are bridged only at a surface level, by masking/compensation. Something which, if we could measure it well enough, would clearly and unfailingly differentiate between autistic and non-autistic people.

The alternative, I suppose, is that there are grey areas, people who are in between. In that case, I struggle to understand what autism is - a category that's defined by society more than by physical reality? In that case, can you be sort-of-autistic or almost-autistic or barely-autistic? I have the sense that this is the more common situation when it comes to psychology, but it doesn't really line up with how we talk about autism.

I already went through all this with gender some years ago, and I got the answers I needed there by slowly transitioning, but I'm not sure if there's a similarly satisfying path to closure when it comes to autism. I mean, I'm both self- and formally-diagnosed anyway, but it does niggle at me. I feel like I'm in that grey area if it exists.

Keen to hear your thoughts!

I think this article about sums up my thoughts!

There is no blood test for Autism, or brain scan, or single gene we can look for, or objective measure that gives a definitive answer. All we have are flawed assessments created by non-Autistic mental health professionals, and the observations and critiques written by Autistic people themselves.

When someone comes to me wondering if they are Autistic, I always have the same advice: read writing by Autistics. Watch videos by Autistic people. Try out resources designed for Autistics, like Ear Defenders, stim toys, and weighted blankets. Join an Autistic community space, whether that’s a virtual meeting, an in-person one, or a social media hub. Explore the possibilities, and focus less on discovering objective “truth,” and more on finding what helps you feel more happy, connected, and whole.

I don’t believe in drawing an arbitrary line in the sand and saying a sufficient number of traits (or intensity of traits) makes someone categorically Autistic, especially considering that many undiagnosed Autistics have been forced to hide their more obvious traits for decades. If you have some Autistic traits but not others, it’s possible you have generalized anxiety, PTSD, OCD, social anxiety, or ADHD. Look into those disorders and their communities too. See if there are resources that are useful to you there. You can be promiscuous — we won’t get jealous. A lot of us have multiple conditions anyway. Or feel at home in multiple mental health communities, if you prefer.

As your question acknowledges, Autism is a spectrum. Or as others have written, a sundae bar with a variety of toppings. If you are somewhere on the spectrum, you’re on the spectrum; you don’t have to be the most intensely Autistic person around to count. Even if you actually have a “sister condition” like ADHD, you might still feel at home among Autistic folks, and if that’s the case, you belong too.

I have said this many times, but people need the reassurance very often: if you feel at home in the community, if you benefit from resources designed by and for Autistic people, if you recognize you share common interests with us and you want to fight alongside us for greater disability justice, you belong in the neurodiverse community. Full stop. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

You can use whatever words for yourself you feel most comfortable with, Anon, or you can just enter neurodiverse community spaces without claiming a label. You don’t owe anyone proof, and you don’t have to be “Autistic enough” to matter and belong here. We are stronger together. We’re a big, diverse rainbow, and you are welcome inside it.

In other words, I think the conclusion is very much the same one we arrive at re: queerness. The real question is never "is this individual person Autistic", it's "are all people harmed by the social mandate that we all be neurotypical" and the answer to that one is always yes. How we personally reconcile that fact wrt our own lives and how we choose to identify is up to us. we can really answer that personal question however we like.

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ladyluscinia · 8 months

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Why do some people say Izzy is homophobic? Flippant jokes I get, but there are people claiming this seriously. Yes, he's often very mean towards characters who just so happen to be homosexuals... But what in the world would make anyone conclude he's not a perfectly equal-opportunity mean person?!? Same with the racism accusations. Probably preaching to the choir here... And I personally don't even like Izzy (as a person; as a character he's brilliant), but it still gets annoying.

I mean... if the question is whether or not Izzy Hands can plausibly be interpreted as homophobic, then I think the answer is unambiguously yes.

I don't think it was avoidable with the story they are trying to tell. Homophobia is pretty deeply entangled with expressions of masculinity and how people see gay relationships. Izzy's literal purpose as an antagonist is to be so against the BlackBonnet relationship that he was willing to try and get Stede killed over it. And thematically, to do anything interesting with stuff like embracing self-expression or arguing that open honesty and vulnerability are good for people, someone has to fill the role of objector. In a televised medium especially - where you aren't sitting in Izzy's POV and you definitely can't read his mind - there is going to be a level of interpretation to his motivations and what, exactly, he's finding objectionable, and some people will come to the conclusion that he's a homophobe. 🤷‍♀️

It's a side effect of trying to say something not completely shallow in your writing - you will run up against grey areas and you can't make the audience unanimously stay in the intended track. Multiple plausible interpretations will exist. A character who objects to other masculine characters expressing emotional vulnerability will plausibly be read as homophobic.

It's our job as we watch the show to look at all the plausible interpretations and decide which is the strongest, just like it's the writers' job to make sure their intended interpretation is the one the most audience members settle on. Complete consensus is impossible, so I'm not, like, surprised that some people are sticking to their guns on that one, but I'm still pretty confident Izzy being homophobic will end up the weaker interpretation.

I actually think Izzy being more or less doomed to being plausibly homophobic is what makes the writing for him so good. Because a much easier option, or a weaker writing team, would have gone in on it. Yet another story about homophobes making gays' lives unhappy, only this time the twist is we make the homophobes a punchline. It's way harder and more interesting to pull off an antagonist that hates a gay relationship but is only plausibly homophobic, and there's a perfectly valid and even encouraged read of the show where he's not. That's actually cool (and why I'll be pretty disappointed if it turns out he is just Mr. Internalized Homophobia).

🤔 My more controversial opinion, though, is probably that I think once you get to a certain level of theorizing unconscious / unintended homophobia in fiction then it functionally doesn't exist. That's pretty much what I'm trying to say here. In real life there is some value to recognizing that everyone has some unconscious biases they're probably acting on without realizing, but in a story... if the character / their actions won't be acknowledged or treated as homophobic, or they won't make the leap to homophobia at any point in unpacking or addressing their flaws, and you aren't trying to say anything about the author's personal biases or blindspots coming through? If a tree falls in a fictional universe but nobody writes about it, does it make a sound? Did it even fall?

#our flag means death #izzy hands ofmd #homophobia #this is sort of #death of the author #even though i didn't address it directly #ask #anon #ladyluscinia #i know i can be really bitchy about pushing back on the homophobia meta but it's not because i think it's wildly irrational #it's because 95 percent of it is presented as objective and undeniable fact and refuses to engage with a convincing argument as a result #(and in trying to come up with undeniable evidence we get made up stuff like 'namby-pamby is a historic gay slur'#instead of living with how insulting ed for being weak and vulnerable could mean a OR b and the choice not to use a slur is part of that)

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raayllum · 1 year

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& i will say as someone who has always liked the gothic / earned my degree in english... there is something to be said for “never say never” if you actually want to analyze media and/or expand your horizons.

not only are pieces of media that discuss violation and taboos interesting (in many ways from a literary standpoint, incest and cannibalism are the same thing - a violent consumption and one sided ownership - but one is sexual and the other is physical, and bringing them together can be Fascinating in terms of how we can talk about the human condition, the harm we can do to one another & have done to one another, etc) but are also just useful, because how those things have been seen and treated have varied (somewhat) over history?

cannibalism and kinslaying was a massive no-no in ancient grecian society, in spite of or maybe even in response to both of those things happening one by one in their primordial myths (kronos literally has children with his sister - like all gods - then eats his children, only for his children to later ‘kill’ him by chopping him into pieces. his dick formed aphrodite)

and to a certain degree, watching people go through terrible things or inflict terrible things on one another in the realm of fiction is the crux of tragedy. there’s emotional catharsis in tragedy, of course, of just expelling emotions in a safe setting where terrible things are not happening to you, but then there’s also the reaffirmation of agency and security that you have, because they’re not happening to you - that characters do not have free will, their stories are written for them, but you do have free will (which is its own burden, but mostly not).

like you may say “i’ll never ship anything that falls into [x thing here]” and that could very well be true (although bad news if it’s incest and you’ve enjoyed literally Anything based off mythology in your life like PJO or hadestown, etc), there are definitely squicks for me i’ll never really be into but like. i also don’t totally know? there could always be the right story at the right time and place that makes me intrigued or interested in something i wasn’t before.

having that openness also means allowing for different interpretations. i can ship past viren/harrow, and even in the present day portion of the show, while acknowledging and being fully aware that narratively / thematically (and canonically, if we wanna go that far) they’re supposed to have a brother-like bond. but to stuff characters and ships and moral rules into stuffy little cubbies and ignoring all the grey areas, and where people (fiction or otherwise) have always existed in those grey spaces has just... never sat right with me?

perhaps it’s because i’m nonbinary, so i exist in a grey and outside of a binary. maybe it’s because i lean towards not needing definitive answers, thanks to the reading i’ve done on judaism and religions other than my own (cultural & religious) christian background. maybe it’s because as an aro person, my own form of attraction is incredibly blurred between romantic and platonic. maybe it’s because i am Very good at recognizing anti (anti sex work, anti kink, anti shipping, anti queer, anti trans) rhetoric because it all comes from a place of “this exists and i think it shouldn’t, even though it’s not harming me” not only from my existence as a queer person, but also from my perspective (and from others like me) of being a minor harassed by adults in the name of ‘protecting the children,’ because they thought i was shipping a minor/adult. i wasn’t, for the record (canon ages were extremely ambiguous) but even if i had been, that’s still totally okay?? and not worth harassment?? just be Normal about it??

so yeah, i block liberally about it to protect myself, and i don’t blame other people who do too, because if someone falls into one of those anti camps, it’s very hard to tell which other ones they may fall into

and idk, i just think it’s Good for people to read things that make them uncomfortable, fiction wise. it pushes you past your own cultural understandings. it can lead to growth or reaffirm your own worldviews for the better. the more you overtly moralize (and demonize), dividing things into categories of “this is always bad or irredeemable” the more you make it harder for people to discuss the full complexities of their lives, because something can be always bad, yes, but that doesn’t mean there was never any good (or reasoning behind it that, right or wrong, appealed to the best or worst of people) in it either. if you deeply moralize racism, you give ‘nice whites’ a shield to hold up. if you deeply demonize age gaps, you make people who are actually vulnerable to them less likely to listen, rather than giving young adults better tools and concepts to learn when a relationship - any kind of relationship - is healthy for them.

and i’d say it’s fiction’s responsibility to challenge, but not to unilaterally teach, ethical and moral norms, anyway (which also aren’t defined principles, but you get my drift). what’s that quote? “Art Should Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comfortable” by la cruz. Yeah

anyway all this to say go read the perks of being a wallflower or kiss of the fur queen or the book thief or things fall apart and come back to me about prioritizing your personal comfort over letting people just live their lives in fandom without moralizing everything. modern day sanitation will not help you in the long run

#the english major strikes again #don't know what trigger warnings to tag for but #mentions of cannibalism & incest as motifs #anti purity culture #as always ship and make whatever you want just tag accordingly #long post #fandom nonsense #and just to be clear: it's also perfectly okay to want to be comfortable #again: i avoid tons of fics bc it has something that makes me Uncomfy #HOWEVER (and i say this all the time) what makes me uncomfortable #(i love exploring violence in stories but it has to be written bc brain cannot handle screen empathy)#may be exactly what or why someone else loves it #and that is normal and okay #tag ramble #no i don't know what this is

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neerons · 4 months

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Omg I just read read your analysis of the 3s friendship to whom Kei is close to, and you have captured it so beautifully. You are extremely observant and have a knack for reading between the lines. The entire read was so good. Keep it up. I hope you write more about MK in the future. If u don't mind me asking I would love to know what you personally thought of kazuomi season 4 ofcourse when you have time (saw a lot of negative reviews and people saying that mc character was destroyed) what do u think about that? Anyway. Take care, and have a great day:)❤️

Now that's the kind of message that makes me very happy to receive 😭💖

Thank you so much for your words. Really. It makes me extremely happy whenever people send me asks, and it's even better if it benefits others when I answer to help or give more insight to the stories. I really like studying the psychology or philosophy of characters I love, so I'm glad I get to do that through these stories ❤

My thoughts on Kazuomi's Season 4

And of course I don't mind you asking that! About Kazuomi's S4, I replied to a similar question HERE if you're interested. Now that some time passed, I have forgotten a few things about what happens in this season but mostly, Kazuomi's S4 seemed to be used to take a "step back" in Kazu and MC's relationship. Possibly because a bigger plot twist concerning Kazuomi's past might happen later on, which will make him change his mind again about his relationship. That's what I originally thought after reading it.

At that stage in the route, Kazuomi and MC were very close. MC was in a new situation professionally and had to make her talents shine. MC trusted Kazuomi a lot, as he had once said he wouldn't do anything she'd dislike. She had also witnessed many times that despite appearances, he was always good and saved situations. However they went back to their "roots", if I could say, when Kazuomi actually tested her and their relationship when he got involved in a drug cartel.

I don't understand why people would say that about the MC being "destroyed" in this season, as the situation she faced was a test for her own character development from my understanding. What I mean here is that originally, the MC is a very ethical person. She's a literal moral compass. That's why she's often described as a saint in Kei's route, and why Yuzuru relies on and trusts her so much as well in his. But she knows that where there is light, there is also darkness. She's not unaware of it and states it in the first prologue of MK herself:

"Light and dark don’t exist in separate worlds. They live on the same street and breathe the same air. And each one of us is one slip-up away from falling into the dark."

Despite that, due to her job, she has a hard time accepting and seeing the benefit of the darker aspects of the world. In this season, Kazuomi showed her that what she was fighting against isn't completely and utterly bad for the people she wants to protect. He showed her that the world isn't just black and white. That there's a grey area to it, and that innocent people she wants to protect sometimes benefit from that grey area.

Kazuomi who has experienced living in poverty knows what it's like to have everything and suddenly be left with nothing. Due to this, he knew that people who did well with the money they got from the drug cartel would become poor after the EAC takes the cartel down.

I would describe this season as being a philosophical conflict between Kazuomi and MC. Their worldview and beliefs were opposed, which was bound to happen at some point in Kazu's route. Due to their positions in society (MC being an agent dedicated to protect the ordinary life of innocent people, and Kazu being a man with so much power he is often involved in suspicious dealings) it's only natural that they couldn't act as if nothing is happening and had to wonder if they should stop their relationship.

I didn't dislike that season personally. From my memories, their problem was that their relationship, as it had developed, didn't suit them and their lifestyle much. Kazuomi likes that MC doesn't trust him completely, because she then chases him, which is what he likes. That's what spices his life up.

Their relationship relies on the thrill of it, not knowing if the other is an enemy or not. Therefore, them completely trusting each other when a situation makes them enemies doesn't work for them. They had to put distance to make that dynamic work. Also, there's the fact that Kazuomi is at a stage where he doesn't believe in "forever". He even thinks MC won't be forever by his side as well, and he believes he's irrational for actually wanting her to always be next to him (that's because he loves her so much hehehehehe).

In a sense, while it's sad that this decision results in them not being 24/7 together and banter as much as before, I think this type of plot twist will be the key of them realizing that their love is even stronger than they had anticipated. And maybe, and I hope, that Kazu will change his view when it comes to "forever", and will understand that he just can't live without her. Their relationship seems stuck right now when it comes to them having only that kind of "enemies and lovers" dynamic, but for now that's what they desire. Maybe in the future season, they'll meet another target and situation that will make them want to actually live a more "stable" couple life where they still allow trust to be part of their relationship.

The ideal thing would be for them to trust each other and still have a thrilling relationship, but it would be hard to make that happen. I'm so curious to know if that's something that could even be possible, and what will happen in the future stories. How else would I be able to see what their kids look like if they don't settle down anyway?! I want to see if their canon daughter looks like the one I made up. Is that too much to ask for 😭

Jokes aside, I really love them and their dynamic. Despite what they decided, they still are very close physically (and emotionally of course). They already can't live without each other even now. They're down deep. They fell, and they fell so hard they made one with the floor. They're depicted as soulmates whose paths are intertwined. It's only natural that they will end up as a power couple who can't get their hands off each other

Thank you for the ask, and have a great day as well!

#ask #kazuomi shido #yuzuru shiba #kei soejima #masquerade kiss #mk #voltage inc #love 365 #otome game #voltage #love 365 find your story

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thetriggeredhappy · 11 months

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Was wondering, over here -- what's your favorite type of Scout characterization(s)? I've been in this fandom for almost a decade, and (imo) everyone's got a slightly different spin on him, ranging from "category 5 annoyance, cartoonishly egocentric" to "earnest but afflicted with Early 20s Brain" to anything anywhere in between or beyond that. Got any specific hallmarks you're fond of? Stuff you tend to disregard?

hrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

alright so naturally i’m always the type to drift towards characters who, even as you’re reading them, you can kinda see the lenticular way they can be interpreted. you can tell by the author’s tone how the character interprets themselves, and how they’re interpreted by the viewer, and how they’re interpreted by whoever they’re talking to—three-dimensional, in shortform. with grey areas. sort of taking them outside of their trope and giving them the leeway of, at times, even assuming that the media itself is biased regarding them.

which is how i approach tf2, as well—the medium they exist in is, by virtue of being an absurdist comedy, an unreliable narrator.

so when you posit the stances “scout is like if gaston was wicked annoying and 150 pounds max but didn’t notice” vs “earnest, flawed early 20s dude without a ton of perspective on his life”, as if they’re two ends of the spectrum, my answer is, they don’t have to be.

i’m not a huge stickler on interpretations of characters, to be honest, but i do have a few icks with some interpretations of scout. any interpretation that implies he’s one of those dudes who says things for shock value or for a reaction really irritate me, mostly because there’s nothing in the text of canon that would even remotely imply that. scout wouldn’t say some weird shit about a girl going to make him a sandwich or whatever, he’d draw a picture of spy getting hit by a car and then hand it to spy because they don’t get along. giving scout these weird greasy traits just because at a glance you might characterize him that way in the netflix live-action remake, it just comes across as like. like maybe you don’t know what you’re talking about actually. like, the cheapest easiest possible characterization. the wish dot com characterization.

and i know it might seem a little bit like the pot and kettle on this one since i do take such heavy liberties with the characters, but here’s the thing—my argument isn’t that changing the characters in your fanwork is Bad. that’s all fanwork. that’s all interpretation. my argument is that making tf2 characters weirdly bigoted and filling in weird shock value stuff for no reason is fuckin’ lazy.

it’s much harder, and much more vulnerable, and takes way more time and effort, to try to write these characters with good jokes, or with human personalities, or with actual motivations and thought into their behavior, etc etc. and going “scout says [insert alphabetical list of homophobic slurs], because it’s the 70s lol they hate gay ppl” just tells me you’re not capable of writing well.

that’s not to say i even want scout to necessarily be a good person. i think it’s actually kind of funny that he decided to like, learn manners and etiquette and put on a prom for miss pauling, because having a dude who kills people for money do some cute shit like that is weirdly sweet, in a roundabout way. i think the canon of the text would imply that scout tf2 is kind of a sweet dude. but like, y’know. obviously nobody on the team is mentally or emotionally well. mentally and emotionally sound people don’t die and murder for money. writing scout as particularly egocentric, overly concerned with his own life (either in an anxious way or a narcissistic way), loud mouthed, temperamental, a sore loser, unsportsmanlike, those are all takes i’ve seen that have been really interesting spins of his character.

my favorite traits in him are probably things like him being a hugely impulsive talker, way exaggerative of positive emotions (like whenever he or someone else does some cool shit), maybe a little overdramatic and whiny about the small things, him being dude who will see his friend punch someone across the bar and will sprint over to punch them too, a real ride-or-die guy, kinda stubborn. maybe a little catty sometimes, earnest in a weirdly brave sort of way, clumsy or bad luck or both. dude with a weirdly nonexistent sense of shame or embarrassment except about, like, if he finds out he was wearing his shirt backwards when talking to Miss Pauling or something silly like that. and not even necessarily all of these at once! i just like these characterizations in general, and scout tends to get these ones.

this went on longer than i meant it to, sorry. anyways. scout teamfortress my beloathed

#shut up me #everybody talks #i don’t necessarily disagree with more villainous horror-esque content with him. i just don’t personally enjoy the genre

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clocksallzeros · 2 years

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Basic dog color genetics

Okay, so I really love dog color genetics and wanted to make a post explaining them because there’s so much cool stuff going on.

Most of my info will be coming from the DogGenetics website, along with the Facebook group Dog Coat Color Genetics, and the UCDavis website.

I’ll be assuming a basic understanding of Mendelian genetics, if you don’t know about Punnett squares there are tons of great resources around the internet, and the DogGenetics site has a great beginner article.

I will not be using breed-specific terms, just generic ones. There are simply too many breed terms to define and explain. Also, they are confusing, since GSD people call agouti "sable".

Above left: Loki, @lokivonkrusenbusch eurasier Loki. He is Agouti.

Above right: Maki, my mixed-breed dog, is a shaded sable.

These are the basics, I’ll be making a new post for each locus later on!

Before we get to the actual colors: Dogs have two pigments, Eumelanin and Phaeomelanin. While each can be modified to different shades, the default for eumelanin is black and phaeomelanin is red. I’ll call them Black and Red pigment for ease of reading, but be aware they can be modified. White is a lack of pigment.

A Locus is a gene location, which has several alleles that have different outcomes. Basic genes have two but some have many more. Loci is the plural of Locus.

Dog coat colors work in layers, so I’ll go from the top down.

C locus: (not named): albinism and color point. This locus affects the color expression and whether the entire dog is white or color point.

S locus (S/s/others): white spotting. This goes on top of everything else. Determines how much white is on the dog.

T locus (T, Tr, t): ticking and roan. This determines whether white areas will have ticking.

E locus (E/Em/Eg/Eh/Ea/e): masking/grizzle/recessive red. This layer determines whether or not the black pigment shows, and if so, where.

K locus (KB/Kbr/Ky): black/brindle/patterned. This layer also determines where black pigment shows up, after the E locus. Brindle dogs will be striped on the Red pigmented areas, as determined by the A locus. Seal is involved here somewhere. It makes the black pigment on a dominant black less opaque so that the A locus will show through.

A locus (ASIPdy, ASIPsy, ASIPag, ASIPbs, ASIPbb1, ASIPbb2, ASIPbb3, ASIPa): sable, agouti, tan point, saddle tan, and recessive black. This determines which areas of the dog will have black hair and whether the hairs will change which pigment they produce over time.

The following Locii modify existing layers:

I series: (I, i, potentially more): intensity. This gene controls the richness of the red color exposed by the E locus.

D locus (D/d): blue/grey. This layer changes the black to grey.

B locus (B/b): brown/liver. This layer changes the black to liver, different shades depending on the specific allele. Cocoa is another allele that does basically the same thing. A dog can be both grey and liver, also known as Lilac.

G locus (G,g): progressive grey. This gene causes some breeds to slowly fade the Black pigment to grey.

M Locus (M, Mh, Mc,m and more): merle. This determines if the dog has merle fur and how strong it is.

H locus (H,h): harlequin. This is a modifier of merle that only exists in Great Danes, it turns merle into black patches.

These genes all come together to "build" the color of the dog. They can be as simple as a black lab or as complex as a sighthound with grizzle, lilac, progressive greying, and brindle. These can combine in surprising ways to make all sorts of interesting colors.

Above left: Ponzu, @intriga-hounds silken windhound. She's brindle with visible white.

Above right: Tilly, @teacup-labrador 's labrador retriever. She's a solid black dog.

#dog #dogblr #dog genetics #color genetics #theres so much more to cover but this takes a lot of research #thank you to dog friends for letting me borrow pics #next i work on showing you what every one of these looks like

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grumfield · 2 months

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If you've watched the IWTV show what are your thoughts on it??

This has been sitting in my inbox for a little bit for when I had time to answer so sorry about that. Cracks knuckles.

TLDR I think IWTV works better with homoeroticism + some secret third thing rather than explicit romance.

Vampirism for me is always the most compelling when it’s treated as distinctly non-human. Like, when you become a vampire you are no longer a human but a creature wearing a human suit. Like how a hare looks like a rabbit but isn’t.

IWTV the book (at least the first book) and the movie both manages to capture that for me, because it does feel like (pre-bite) Lestat is coming into Louis and it reads as gay behavior but as soon as Louis is bit and becomes a vampire I always got the impression that he loses all sense of like human desires or humanness and you get the vibe that Lestat is like that too and his sort of homoerotic behavior towards him is like a facsimile of human interest/affection meant to draw him in. Like an angler fish.

Most of what Louis does is engaging in those same rituals to try and convince himself he can still feel those things. But in reality sexual desire and any other kind of desire or feelings is sort of swapped for hunger…like the book always read to me like Louis for example never actually felt paternal instincts towards Claudia but was trying to convince himself he did to sort of hold onto his humanity or whatever…and it’s why I like his relationship with Lestat a lot, because it does sort of capture this weird not platonic-not romantic-but a secret third thing grey area that would exist I think between two creatures who couldn’t feel the way humans feel.

This is why I like the strictly homoeroticism stuff because it sort of plays into the fact that they’re going through the motions of desire and affection but can’t actually feel it in the traditional sense, versus the explicit romance just didn’t really do it for me because they felt like actual people having spats or whatever…

Plus lestat was built like a brick shithouse in the show and IMO he should only look like a Georgian dandy twink who might die of cholera

#it's why arguments about their relationship being toxic or abusive or whatever made me roll my eyes #are two wolves tearing each other to shreds a toxic relationship?? dawg they are no longer human #they talk like you and look like you but they don't follow human lines of thinking or relationships anymore

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daswarschonkaputt · 2 years

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so im pretty excited abt ur abo kp fic which is new to me bc i normally dont care abt abo? this isnt shade or bullshit btw i hope i just wanted to ask how u conceptualize gender and sex in abo? tags on the notfic r 100% right btw more trans abo. im always put off by most abo for the idea that cis male omegas basically?? have a cloacae for an anus but also a dick? it feels too alien for a non paranormal genre. do u think anatomy ought to be addressed more or left to suspension of disbelief?

right straight off the bat we're putting this one behind a readmore, because i don't want to wig anyone out. a/b/o be weird.

essentially, the way i conceptualise a/b/o and how gender and sex work is:

male/female - usually identifiable at birth, with obviously some grey area in there for intersex people.

alpha/beta/omega - surfaces during puberty, at which point the body changes in whichever way the subgender inclines.

i usually write it that it's not really possible to tell how someone's subgender will present until it does, because i think the inherent tension between "this is how i was treated growing up" vs. "this is how people treat me now" gives the most room for social commentary, and character growth, which is one of my favourite parts of a/b/o. so everyone's body has the base potential to go any subgender way.

relatedly, one of my least favourite tropes in a/b/o is the trope where a character unexpectedly discovers they're an omega and they hate it and take drugs to make themselves a beta, and they wish they were a beta/alpha and as a reader i just have to sit there like, and the logical ending to this story ISN'T that they're trans????

in fact, this trope irritated me so much that i fully outlined and started writing an original fic where the main character gets the whoops! all omega! reveal and instead of hating it and hiding it, feels fulfilled and more comfortable in himself, because it enables him to put into words and be accepted for aspects of his gender identity that have existed his entire life.

ahem. omega biology. back on track.

male omegas are one of those fandom tropes that i just... choose not to look at too closely. science brain well and truly turned off. because of how the kinnporsche mpreg fic is structured (porsche not knowing he's pregnant, and not knowing he could become pregnant) -- we're probably looking at assbabies for that one, though i usually prefer to go the male omegas are intersex (and female alphas are, as well) route, just because it makes most sense to me. but -- this is fanfic. things only make sparing amounts of sense 20% of the time.

truthfully, i think the question of anatomy depends on the fic. i do think there is a level of suspension of disbelief that is needed to read a/b/o, but to me that's true of all sci-fi. a lot of genre studies essays on sci-fi talk about this idea of a novum, a point of divergence that makes the sci-fi story different from our world. it can be a thing, an idea, a hypothetical. for example, in mass effect, the novum is the mass drivers. in star trek it's the warp core. in the martian, it's leaving a man behind on mars. and with sci-fi, you're not meant to question the novum. it's the foundational part of the universe. sci-fi is the question, "what if [x] was different?"

so with a/b/o, the novum is, well, it's the a/b/o dynamics. "what if human reproductive biology was on crack?" the bits i'm interested in are the answers that spiral out from that question -- i'm not really focused all that much on the question itself.

but, like i said, it depends on the fic. if the fic's question is, "so, if we do have these a/b/o dynamics, how does the biology actually work?" then obviously it's a bit more relevant. but i've only seen one or two a/b/o fic that approach the matter like that.

hope that makes sense!

#fic: kp mpreg au #guys pls don't get me started on the a/b/o as sci-fi again #kaputt writes stuff #asked and answered #a/b/o cw #omegaverse cw #totally respect not being able to turn off science brain tho #there are some sci fi movies i have to turn off bc i Cannot #things spiralling out from the novum is one of the best parts of sci fi tho #like in mass effect there's no ammo bc the mass driver means they can use grains of sand as ammo #just accelerating them to NYOOM speeds #so they're functionally bullets #genuinely one of my favourite parts of worldbuiling #i rave about it all the time to people who know me

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skyggsja · 2 years

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Green Academia Masterpost

since i made the decision to call myself „green academia“ online i thought it would fit if i wrote a little explanation overview on what i think green academia actually is.

Background - i‘ve always been interested in the styles and aesthetics that are now known as dark/light academia, cottagecore, witchcore, hobbitcore etc. so naturally i became a fan of the actual aesthetics immediately when i first heard of them. but everything i have is green. my home, half of my wardrobe, everything and i wondered how i would be able to combine the aesthetics with my favourite colour. i ssearched up green academia - the term already existed in the aesthetics wiki and there were a couple results on google & pinterest but not what i‘d hoped to find. so i began to create stuff myself. by now the aesthetic has definitely gained momentum, especially on insta. the masterlist is my idea of what green academia is, but at the end of the day everybody makes it their own which is definitely part of the fun when it comes to aesthetics ♡

Green Academia Masterpost -

Overview

It goes hand in hand with light & dark academia - the academia aesthetics are always somewhat classic and sophisticated but also practical, can be modern or a bit vintage-y

Works with dark and light colours - obviously the colour green but also other earthy tones like brown, beige and the basics black, grey and white. but at the end of the day one can make any colour work

plants! anything plants. books about plants, plants in your room, plant prints, pressed plants, plant artwork

gardens, parks, creeks, botanical gardens, anything that‘s got plants and that‘s green is perfect

like any academia branch it romanticises learning (always be safe though!) and especially learning anything plant related. but art, literature, music, history,… all of that is still relevant here

folklore, fairytales, more or less witchy things, seasons, wheel of nature all fit here!!

i find that many hobbies go well with green academia: reading, naturally. painting, cooking, hiking, anything relating to tea, breeding butterflies, keeping your own garden/ plants / grow stuff on your balcony or windowsill/…

This aesthetic definitely works in many different ways. Old, ornate furniture would match the aesthetic, but modern and simple furniture would fit it as well. Personally, I‘ve been a fan of minimalism lately and I find that it hasn‘t hurt my love for green academia at all.

Some may refer to it as plant/botanical academia as well but personally, i prefer green academia as it doesn‘t „just“ refer to plants.

The Vibe

plant illustrations

old books with embossing on the covers

tea in pretty mugs

books about flowers and animals

fairytales that take place in forests or meadows

wood, marble, glass, ceramics, stoneware, linen, paper,…

foraging and collecting things from nature, collecting things like books or butterfly wings, generally collecting things

house aesthetics that feature natural colours, especially green. windows that look out into the green landscape

house plants / having your own garden

pottery embossed with real plants

tattoos of flowers and other plants

greenhouses, sitting areas outside in the green

green academia but combined with other aesthetics. lean more towards cottagecore one day and more towards hobbitcore the next

artwork by monet. but also preraphaelites like waterhouse!

you define the aesthetic and not the other way around, that‘s what‘s most important to always keep it real, authentic and sustainable as well. don‘t follow trends but if you feel something deep within your soul and you just know „this is me.“ then take your time exploring it, finding your own way and then rock it. it‘ll be so unique ♡

x natashia

#greenacademia #cottagecore #dark academia #light academia #hobbitcore #goblincore #aesthetics #skyggsjagreenacademia

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not-poignant · 2 years

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Back in the day when I was using FFN I saw a lot of people write their story however they wanted, and then remove the segment that didn’t adhere to the guidelines, leaving a link to their blog where they would post the deleted scene. It was a headache but it’s better than them not posting the story at all. I know that’s a lot of work to do for your already written stories, but maybe m&m? It’s just so sad to think that you’ll be walking on these stupid eggshells writing it.

Hi hi anon!

It was a headache but it’s better than them not posting the story at all.

Definitely. I've been on fandom sites for about twenty years, and when I wrote fanfiction under another name, for a small archive, I did this myself. You know, wrote a more explicit scene, told people they could email me for the chapter (since this was more common back then), and so on.

But you know what's way way way better than all of that?

Being able to post whatever I want on AO3. The freedom is so nice, and I'm never going back to shadily hiding explicit scenes in my metaphorical trenchcoat for folks. I'm done with living that way. And I'm never going to go back to that kind of 'dark ages' dystopian way of getting past censorship while AO3 exists, y'know? :) I was so a happy to walk away from that site, and I'm so happy not to be using the un-user-friendly clusterfuck that is FF.net anymore.

If Wattpad users do want all of my works, they can come to AO3, or download the stories in their entirety from AO3 and read them at any time on their e-readers. So they're technically not missing out if they're just willing to look a bit further afield! :D

As for Mallory & Mount, I'm no longer the kind of writer who writes stories that are 80% porn and 20% story, so the sex scenes won't actually be super prevalent in Mallory & Mount, it's very story driven. And though the sex scenes will be extreme and dubcon, I don't consider this the same as the outright rape that happened in Game Theory. I'm not as worried about that. Same with Underline the Black. I'm just not that kind of writer anymore, I can still write very intense scenes and quite extreme dubcon, but I just don't really feel the urge to put it in every chapter these days? So I don't think most people reading say - The Beast that Chose Its Own Bridle - which has lengthy, intense BDSM scenes, would call that a 'porn story' first and foremost, even though it has porn. There's just too much story happening around all the sex, lol.

I don't really think of it as walking on eggshells honestly. I'm just not risking certain stories out of the gate, and they're already safe and fine on AO3 (and Dropbox). And while some of my stories are in a grey area, I'm confident I can articulate why they're valuable and have merit as narratives and/or cut my losses and keep them on AO3.

My shortlist of stories for Wattpad if folks are interested is:

The Wildness Within Stuck on the Puzzle From the Darkness We Rise Into Shadows We Fall The Golden Age that Never Was Spoils of the Spoiled possibly Falling Falling Stars (the length is offputting but I actually think the story could do really well there because it's very consent focused and it has a clear 'sexual assault is bad' message lol) Inmates Passiflora The Beast that Chose Its Own Bridle Underline the Black Mallory & Mount

I won't be putting them all up at once, but chapter by chapter as with any serial. The first two in the list are the first two I'll be starting with and they both just need covers now, they're ready to launch. I'm going with a fanfiction/original fiction mix because I can! :D

Stories that I'm not putting up on Wattpad at all:

The Wind that Cuts the Night (I think the front-heavy violent BDSM in the beginning will be too high risk even if it develops a story later - it's a shame because I think it works really well as an 'original novel' even though it's fanfiction). Game Theory The Court of Five Thrones Strange Sights short stories

Stories I'm on the fence on but will make a decision about based on how the short-list goes, or based on how well I think they can do on their own:

Eversion The Ice Plague anything else, lol.

I'm on the fence about The Ice Plague because it's the end point of the canon, but a lot of people came into Fae Tales through that story and I think handled it pretty well.

Eversion has some outright noncon, and while I think it has a strong 'sexual assault is bad' message, it also has Connor 'gosh I love degradation and humiliation and being told I'm filthy and slutty sir' Perkins in it, and even some AO3 readers struggled to find what Connor consented to, consensual, simply because they struggled to see why anyone would enjoy suffering like that. I have never had a character scream 'this is consensual' more in a story and have so many people be like 'oh god this is so horrible, he hates it so much' lmaoooo. I feel like Wattpad readers are going to be even less forgiving of that than AO3 readers.

Anyway, y'all know my plan now! :D It's going to take aaaaaages because I'll be releasing the chapters over time and I'm only going to have like 1-2 old stories updating at once, so um, it might actually take around 8 years to upload everything?

...*laughs nervously*

But no, no, I've been in fandom for over 20 years anon, I am well and truly over the dark ages of 'lol hmu for a link of the explicit wink wonk banned stuff' or 'haha click this link because this puritanical site won't let us be adults!' AO3 is where it's at. And I think we can all just appreciate that it's truly best to just...be able to post anything fictional + sexually taboo there, and not have to worry about a corporation potentially smacking us in the face for it.

#asks and answers #pia on wattpad #gosh i love AO3 #really my heart is just a constant love-letter to AO3 #yes there's things they can always improve #and work on #and yes sometimes they've disappointed us #BUT #compared to how it was before we are miles and miles ahead #as for Wattpad i'm not so much scared as i am pragmatic about the reality of working within a TOS

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kuramirocket · 10 months

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I feel for sure a Ritual Yuya would know he's connected to Zarc in some way, but not know it's actually Zarc. I feel like he'd know to be cautious of an apocalypse from Fusion Dimension's plans despite not knowing Fusion exists due to the End of The World ritual archetype, and pulling King of Demise each time he tries to read his own past for explanations and things. He KNOWS he's connected to some kind of demise king (that king being Supreme King Z-ARC) For his Ritual Dragon, looking at the other dragons they all have effects relating to ATK (Odd-Eyes doubles damage during attacks, Dark Rebellion steals ATK, Clear Wing negates then steals ATK, Starve Venom steals ATK on Summon), so I feel like his Ritual Dragon would be somewhere along this line of effect. Ancient Rites Ritual Dragon, Level 8, DARK, Dragon/Ritual/Effect You can only Ritual Summon this card when using other Ritual Monsters as Tribute, whose combined Levels equal 8 or higher. When this card is Ritual Summoned, you can Tribute one monster you control, add one Ritual Spell from your deck to your hand. Once per turn, you can banish one Monster from your Graveyard, this card gains ATK equal to the banished monster's ATK until the End Phase. 2800/2000 -Lyrilusc Anon

It would be interesting having a Yuya counterpart trying to slowly piece together who he really is and of their other counterparts.

Though I also think it would also be fun if they just didn't care about being the 'good guy.' Maybe he would sort of be drifting through life and from one place to another seeking something. What they aren't sure of. And imagine if it wasn't just Yuri who would eventually want to Hitosu Ni or something. I think it would be interesting had there been more than one counterpart who wasn't all good, maybe not all bad either. Sort of in the grey area. And finding Yuri and the other counterparts is that instant connection or some similar feeling and beforehand the feeling of pieces missing hence wanting to be 'whole' despite all the warnings of a massively powerful and destructive King.

Idk how realistic it would be for Yuri willing to team up with another counterpart, but if he never got the chance to bond with Serena why not another counterpart. I can just imagine Leo's face if he found out that Yuri starts rebelling against him and starts caring less about Academia through this new weird ally/friendship/bond or just interest of another piece of Zarc even though, Yuri, ofc, would not know about the whole Zarc thing. In terms of Leo's horror, I think this would be hilarious. Lol.

Sorry, I just sort of went on a tangent. Idk what direction you would prefer a ritual yuya counterpart to go. I just like dark and angsty routes 😅

Though, it also brings into question another Yuzu counterpart and their relationship with a ritual Yuya counterpart.

Also, I really like how you thought out the ritual dragon's name and card effects 👏👏

I think this should be called a ritual yuya counterpart au or something unless u have a better name? xD

Anyways, please feel free to talk more about what direction you would like to see a ritual Yuya counterpart go. Idk if you like my babbling ideas (which is okay if you don't ofc!) I would love to hear more of your thoughts 😊

#asks #ritual yuya counterpart au #yuya sakaki #yuri #zarc #heavenly dragons #leo akaba #serena #yuzu hiiragi #academia (arc v)#arc v

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askfallenroyalty · 2 years

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I can't recall if this has already been brought up (it's been a minute since I read through the comic as a whole), but what is the power dynamic with the whole time travel powers? It seems like Frisk had them before, but later on Chara is the one that True Resets. Did Chara have that power from the get-go, or did they get it in place of Frisk at some point later?

mm. it's a side effect from me jumping into this blog without having spent a lot of time dissecting undertale's finer details

so like: when you Reset - there's things monsters will remember with a sense of deja vu. frisk is implied to be the only one to remember -reacting to things with boredom or without surprise. Same goes for Flowey, who notices if you kill Toriel and try to fix it.

however, obviously, in a true reset this is not true. Flowey asks not to remember so that's why he doesn't. so i thought, "oh, but frisk should still remember." except..... obviously they don't. outside the narrative, a True Reset is literally resetting the game properly. it wouldn't work to have Frisk remember despite with player-usability in mind. also, narratively, with how hard Flowey insists to not reset and let Frisk live their life, removing their memory of the underground is fitting to your destruction.

but if they did remember, that's kinda interesting, ain't it? cause like, how would Frisk handle that? you toying with their life like that. Everyone's life. I feel for someone to want a "everybody lives" au, you'd have to really care about the characters. i often see it as a "reward" for trying to get a different outcome, so like, thats a contradiction to the game's messages! that leaves a lot of room to explore how that would all work out.

Chara's memory to resets is a bit of a grey-area. cause they, as a narrator, have fresh reactions to things just as Frisk does. Because of user functionality ofc. Which makes it harder when no mercy runs happen and chara ruins the pacifist ending. i like to think nm chara exists deep within Frisk's SOUL and exists outside of narrator chara. only coming to surface upon the surface (ha). because nm chara is VERY different from pacifist chara, it doesn't make sense for them to be "secretly evil" while behaving like their normal self. you're hurting pacifist chara too when you do nm.

ANYWAY to actually answer your question: Frisk is the vessel, Chara is the one with the SAVE file so they're the one who calls the shots. (well. next to the player who I don't talk too directly about in the comic) Though it's Frisk's (and the Player's in nm) emotions that create the DT. Having them split up by giving Chara body means they can't work in tandem.

I kinda just... skirt around this in AFR because its running on an assumption i made that doesn't fit canon (or at least, my interpretation) so i'm like ._. oops. So chara just magically gets enough DT to use the save power again. its all very hand wavey... i hope I can fix this up when i get to this point in the rewrite.

Something Something Gaster used Chara's og SOUL for experiments, that's why there isn't one left over from when the Asriel fusion died. Gaster took it and he was erased from time so no one remembers. Convenient for him and me.

#ooc #tbd #not art #waves my hands vaugely around uncertantly

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