this man... has unironically changed my brain chemistry and single-handedly ruined my life

Valentine- Simon 'Ghost' Riley

(photo belongs to: @ave661 )

Based on a request:

For fluffy ghost - he's a big intimidating looking dude but animals LOVE HIM. Dogs, cats, rodents, everything. I love the idea of him being trapped on a couch bc too many sleepy animals are on him. Kittens like to climb him. Rodents want to snuggle in his hood or his pocket. Dogs are obsessed and follow him and want to give him kissies. Hed be really good at finding lost pets cause they just come running up to him out of nowhere. (That or like imagine having a cat that's super friendly and telling him your cat doesn't like people so when the kitty cuddles up with him he will feel special).

GN!Reader, Fluff, Friends to lovers

I've rejected affection For years and years Now I have it and damn it It's kind of weird

He isn't much of a people person or more that everyone finds him to be intimidating. But lately, as you have become closer to him, he found himself, wandering the halls of the base, looking for you. And occasionally, there'll be some furry friend with him. There have been times when you call him snow white for that reason alone. Sitting under a willow tree? A bird, deer, cat, and/or dog goes to him and cuddles on his lap or shoulder. You find this so beautiful, it gives you some new perspective on him.

Sometimes during field training, he will get the occasional guard dog to stand by him and rub their body on his leg, begging for a head rub. This has become so frequent, that he has gotten used to it. One time, while in an active war zone, he got tackled by a very friendly dog. Soap was about to shoot it when Ghost laughed a little. "Don't you worry, sergeant, we got a friend, now." You and Soap look at each other, giving the other the 'Again' look. One time, purely because you were all waiting for the helicopter to pick you up, he began to attract all sorts of friendly animals. So much so, that one of the animals became the birthday gift to Price's little girl.

I've lost all control of my heartbeat now

Another time, Gaz begged his lieutenant, to fetch a kitten for his girlfriend and as always, it worked. As you two grow closer and closer, he visits your home frequently. You two usually stay in your back garden, sitting by the grass and then soon the birds begin to chirp by the branches, this is only when he is there, no other time. "You know, this is nice, having this time with you." he softly confesses. His balaclava on your sofa's arm while you two enjoy the warm sun by the grass. Before you could even answer, your two pups and the grumpy cat who hates everyone approach him and purrs. "Bloody hell, Simon. You've done it again!" You laugh and he stares at you.

"This is a real problem I struggle with, R/N." He tried to pretend he was angry.

As time went on, and your pups grew, he began to be stuck somewhere during the winter visits. Your cosy sofa. Your dog lying on his chest and thighs, the grumpy cat that adores only him by his shoulder and the newest puppy he got you, tucked by his hood. It's a site to see, for sure and it's the best one you can get as his new partner. You always thought it was that his body radiated warmth but you soon found yourself to be going to him like a magnet. It's an inexplicable force that pulls you to him. It's safety, comfort, familiarity and understanding that he radiates to those vulnerable, delicate and small creatures.

The way he is, a giant, grumpy man, with three hobbies, smart, strong, rough but the way he protects everything that is at arms reach. That is what makes him so unique and special. You never viewed him this way when you first met. Never thought he was into puzzles, history and reading. His mind is so great and if he wanted to, he could be a successful professor elsewhere. Maybe it's the years of his own struggles and how he understands those who might be close to another breakdown that brings a certain level of comfort. Perhaps its how he caresses the creatures that crawl to him, that yearn for the love he gives. And maybe now it's you that is added to that list.

I still feel a shock through every bone When I hear an, "I love you" 'Cause now I've got someone to lose

Six years ago, you found him. He petted two stray cats and a squirrel on his shoulder, the one he kept feeding before winter. And now, in a dim kitchen light, listening to jazz, swaying in his arms, that is home to you and those sweet things. "My R/N, you have to sway like this." His hand was on your hip, the other holding your hand as he guided you. That skull balaclava hidden in the drawer of your now shared home. No longer the grey flat he lived in as a soldier but now, in a small, cosy and beautiful home as your husband.

Even to this say, when you go to the park to walk your pets, he has some new furry friends that come to him. And he gives you that look, 'Again' as you, with a big proud smile take a bag of treaties from the bag you carry for this occasion. He and you sit in a bench, just like the old couple that frequently sits across from you both. It's like staring in a mirror, he tells you every time. The man across from him feeds the birds, while he feeds the dogs or cats near him.

I blinked and suddenly I had a Valentine

Honestly, you weren’t all that taken aback to see Tangerine standing just outside your house, casually lights the cigarette hanging from his lips; acting as though he wasn’t accumulating a small puddle of blood beneath him that was seeping through your lovely welcome mat. His well tailored clothes were unsalvageable, his skin was tainted with dirt, mucus, injuries of varying sizes and sections of his hair were mattered with his and someone else’s blood. Yet he still looked inexplicably handsome…for a British twat that was.

“Would you kindly mind in getting the fuck off my welcome mat, your getting your blood all over it.” You told him just as you opened the front door to be greeted with the sight of his broad backside. Tangerine looked over his shoulder and his eyes widened when they landed on your frame, “Oh fuck, this was your house? If I had fucking knew that beforehand I would have seen myself elsewhere.” You gave him a tight lipped smile, you and Tangerine didn’t have the best of relationships; you couldn’t pinpoint where it began but it felt like you could never withstand to be within one another’s presence. Needless to say your only common contact was his Thomas the tank engine obsessed brother, Lemon.

“Then why didn’t you?” You questioned, not actually wanting to know how the fuck he had found where you lived if it wasn’t under the pretence of killing you once and for all. His stance seemed to softened as his flicked away his cigarette butt into the open street, breathing out the last traces of smoke from his lungs. “I didn’t have anywhere to go.” Tangerine’s voice was vulnerable as he stared out across the street, unwilling to gauge your reaction for the very same reason you never gauge his when you knew he hit a nerve. You were both so alike in the most minute ways that it was easily missable by both parties involved, resulting in countless misconceptions where as something as simple communication could’ve been the easy clear cut solution.

“I was still high on adrenaline after my mission that when I finally came off the fucker, that’s when my injuries became a problem I couldn’t ignore.” You stayed silent, allowing for Tangerine to continue his story, “I knew I couldn’t go to the hospital and I didn’t want to bother Lemon on his day off that by the time I realised where I was I…found myself looking for you instead.” He finished, looking you at you briefly before looking away once more, still bleeding by the way. To your knowledge Tangerine wasn’t a man of vulnerability but more so one of brutality and profound swearing that would make a sailor blush. So to witness his guard fall before your very eyes was the equivalent to seeing pigs fly, it was against everything you’ve ever known but it was a welcoming shock to your system being able to witness such a sight.

“Say somethin’ then, I feel like a right fucking twat right about now.” Tangerine uttered, his guard coming back up when he realised that he had just allowed himself into being vulnerable within your presence and on your own doorstep too. You blinked back into reality and saw how much paler he had gotten from how he looked at the beginning of all this, all the while coming to the unspoken acknowledgement that you had to act quickly before you were left to drag his unconscious body all by your lonesome. Sighing, you opened the door wider for your unwilling guest, “get in,” you gestured with your head towards the hallway that stared back at you two, “and do it quick before anyone gets the impression that I’m hiding a dead body.” You added as Tangerine smiled at your invitation before wincing when he moved a certain way, causing his wounds to become more aggravated and quickly rushing for the comfort of your home.

All the while you grabbed the now ruined welcome mat and shutting the door behind you though not before giving the streets a quick glance over incase of some unwanted onlookers from perceiving the scene before them however they saw to fit their unreliable narrative. You were well aware of how unliked you were by the elders who lived across the street, you were well aware of how ever since you’ve moved into the neighbourhood they’ve done nothing but try in catching you doing some scandalous act that they could get you convicted for. Every morning they would scowl at you and every evening they could be seen on their front porch, watching your house like old decrepit hawks, hungry for an ounce of flesh to be thrown their way. ‘Desperate cunts’ you’d called them. Though recently they had to be relocated to a care home due to their inability to look after themselves as health complications began to arise.

You soon found Tangerine cooped up within your bathroom, stripped completely of his shirt as he helped himself to the first aid kit you had tucked away in your mirrored cabinet he was now staring himself in as he patched up some of the more significant wounds. You normally wouldn’t be caught dead staring at the one person you seemingly hated as equally as your elderly neighbours. Yet you found yourself immobile at the doorway, admiring the scars from previous jobs he had taken on and the way his muscles would react, tensing and almost flinching away from his own touch as he disinfected a particularly nasty wound upon his hip.

He must’ve caught your reflection because he only halted his movements to stare at you through the mirror, “you know instead of staring how about you either take a picture or lend a hand in patching me up, yeah.” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest as to hide the fact that you were caught for your blatant starting, “your a grown man Tangerine, you should be able to take care of your own boo boos by now and besides I wasn’t staring, I was critiquing your sloppy job of patching yourself up.” The male only seemed to laugh at your attempt of a cover up as he went back to patching himself with the unreliable aid of your mirror. “Suit yourself, love.” He replied as he reached for the gauze,“suit yourself.”

Hi Lock <3 I don't know if this has been asked before but I had this thought yesterday at 5 am... What happens to Scara's darling after he wipes his existence from Teyvat? Would he try to pursue them again? If so, would there be anything he'd do differently than before? He knows what works and doesn't now after all...

hello ada !!!!

WHEW BOY... do i have some thoughts on this... let's see if i can get enough neurons firing to capture what i have in mind. some of this response involves conjecture on my part about genshin's overall lore, but i promise i'm going somewhere with it. pinky swear. stick with me.

one of the key takeaways from scara's archon interlude is the flow of teyvat's fate. at first, i found it very odd that scaramouche erasing his existence had so little consequence. i've always been of the belief that even the smallest, seemingly insignificant acts can have unforeseen consequences on the future (butterfly effect type beat). at first i thought mihoyo was being lazy by keeping everything in this teyvat 3.0 essentially the same with teyvat 2.0 (and tbh who knows maybe this is the case and i'm reading way too into it bc i overanalyze anything scara related), but then i wondered if this is a hint at the type of universe teyvat is.

then i considered the possibility teyvat is ruled by a type of predeterminism. while we don't know exactly what the heavenly principle are, apparently the original chinese characters for what's translated as heavenly principles can be read as destiny (and or fate). this make me wonder if teyvat has a set of 'rules' that, for whatever reason, must be adhered to. if something disturbs this delicate balance, the universe reorganizes itself in such a way that it closely mimics the universe before it.

ALRIGHT . all that to say.

wouldn't this spell the ultimate tragedy for scaramouche's darling? a delicious tragedy, but a tragedy nonetheless.

for some inexplicable reason, the story woven by fate for his darling is one of subjugation. the universe rewriting itself does not change the genre of their play. no matter what point they start at, the ending to their story has already been determined. in this teyvat 3.0, the kabukimono is still drawn to them, still obsessing to an unhealthy degree. perhaps it's not as bad as living under scaramouche's thrall, but bad is a relative term here, this is still no way to live. kabukimono is granted a set of advantages which scaramouche never had, namely his naïve personality lending itself perfectly toward manipulation. he embeds himself into your side and makes it so it hurts you to try and pull him out. he'll get tearful, apologize profusely for crossing another line, quietly pleading to not be left behind when you're all he has.

then comes the events of the archon interlude.

when the blank slate version of kabukimono takes on all of scaramouche's memories, coalescing into one, your close ties surprise the freshly awoken scaramouche. in teyvat 2.0, he hesitated while wading through irminsul; it had been you who pushed him to make the decision to erase 'scaramouche', the sole source of your woes. after gazing through your memories from your lens, he saw the extent of your despair, felt it reverberate in his hollow chest cavity. it occurred to scaramouche that you really would have been better off without him, painful as it was to admit it.

so he resolved himself to do right by you just this once. his first and supposedly last act of sacrificial love toward you.

except... that wasn't the case. 'wanderer' as he goes by now condemns himself for his foolish, wishful thinking. what a revelation this is! the messy threads that pull you together are ties that can never be severed. this is definitive proof. in this universe where you were meant to be free, you still found him, or to be more specific, he still found you. he's elated, he's thrilled. the energy that fills him at this realization is more invigorating than when he temporarily became a god. yours is a story whose script shall never be altered.

after departing from the sanctuary of surasthana, it doesn't take long for the wanderer to happen upon you again. it's as if your presence quietly calls out for him.... whispering, beckoning.

the first words he says to a somewhat confused you are as such:

"how good it is to see you again."

Mischief and fever

Masterlist - Loki masterlist

Notes: I'm stuck at home with fever, feeling miserable so I wrote a little comfort drabble with my favourite alligator 😇

Words: 460

Summary: being stuck in your room with a fever sucks, fortunately there is a very special alligator around to keep you company

You groaned as you slumped back into bed, your damp clothes uncomfortably clinging to your body. Illness was something you despised, not only because it physically confined you to the bed, but also because it had a way of infiltrating your mind, engulfing every waking moment with a sense of despair. You were an Avenger, you were supposed to save the world, help others, not be struck down helplessly with a fever. Despite your best efforts to hold back the tears welling up in the corners of your eyes, they eventually streamed down your face accompanied by audible sobs until...

Suddenly something was poking you, persistently, in the side. Annoyed and snivelling, you turned over, ready to dismiss whatever annoyance existed in your personal space. To your surprise, your eyes fell upon the alligator variant of Loki nudging you with his snout. This particular variant may lack the ability to speak or shape-shift, but he always found a way to make you understand. For some inexplicable reason, he had become obsessed with you ever since Thor brought him to the Avengers' headquarter, and since then, the two of you had become inseparable. Once he was certain that he had captured your undivided attention, he gingerly slithered onto your lap and curled up, pressing his snout against your stomach, his yellow eyes locked onto yours, as if trying to will away the illness that plagued you. It was a display of care and love so unexpected, yet so comforting. The day turned into night, in the sanctuary of your embrace, Loki stayed faithfully by your side. Each morning, he would make his way to your room, curling up beside you with his scaly body snugly pressed against yours. His presence brought a sense of reassurance during your arduous journey towards recovery. Without uttering a single word, his company and gentle touch became a guiding light, leading you through the darkest moments of your fever.

As the days passed and your strength gradually returned, he still remained by your side. Sometimes he would attempt to force you to move around a bit, other times, he would bring you food, playfully rolling his eyes as you questioned the mysterious disappearance of half of the cookies from the bag which never failed to paint a smile across your face. It was an unspoken language between you, filled with a profound understanding, unconditional support and a happiness you never wanted to let go of again. To the rest of the Avengers he was an annoyance, even more so than this universe's own Loki, to Thor he was a fancy pet but to you, he was a true and loving friend and you have never been more grateful that he, apparently, thought the same about you.

Before the jjk chapter 239 leaks drop, let me just share my current takes on:

1) Yuji's new source of power.

2) Yuji and Sukuna parallels (?).

1) Yuji ate his brothers.

But before we get into that, we have to discuss Yuji's ability.

I got this from an explanation vid on youtube. (I can't remember the channel though because I kinda just stumbled upon it, because let's be honest at some point we're gonna need help, jjk is complex read) It was a helpful video that explained how Yuji eating cursed objects worked/affected him. To summarize, Yuji acts like some sort of sponge, he absorbs the curse from the cursed object, and when he ate one of Sukuna's fingers he became his vessel, and eating other cursed objects after being Sukuna's vessel just negated any curse from said object because Sukuna being the strongest curse trumps its power. Hypothetically, if Yuji eats a cursed object with Sukuna no longer in him, he will finally be able to absorb the curse/ curse technique that object offers.

But, if you don't accept that explanation there's always chapter 220 where Yuji cites Shoko's explanation/observation that AFTER he becomes Sukuna's vessel is when he became able to absorb curses from cursed objects.

Actually, both explanations of how Yuji takes in new power are the same, just with timing difference of when this ability started. (Personally, i side with the video, that Yuji always had this ability and was the reason for him to be able to become a vessel in the first place)

Anyway back to chapter 220, after Yuji cites Shoko's take on his curse absorbing ability, he explains he'll eat anything (to be strong) and kill Sukuna. and Later in that same chapter we see a panel with a conversation between Yuji and Choso. Yuji is apologizing for Choso's brothers, which could easily be mistaken to be about Kechizu and Eso. But I think Choso had already been on Yuji's side long enough for them to talk that out and also, Choso replies "No problem as long as they live on inside you." I don't know about you but that clearly signifies him eating all the remaining curse womb death paintings to gain their cursed technique. Hence, chapter 239 where we see his newly acquired strength.

2) Yuji and Sukuna are both Cursed wombs

After chapter 143, where Yuta fake assasinates Yuji, Yuji sees a flashback of his mother with stitches on her head. This chapter is where we find out that Yuji really is Choso's brother and a Cursed womb: Death painting.

This is purely speculation on my part but hear me out, Sukuna is inexplicably powerful, the STRONGEST of his time. He was previously said to be a sorcerer that turned into a cursed spirit, or so the story goes. In chapter 237, During his fight with Gojo he revealed he was an unwanted child, Gojo in the next chapter also wanted to teach him love, because he believed Sukuna and himself were similar in their isolation in being the strongest, not being able to fully live normal lives like everyone else, even Yoruzu, the sorcerer possessing Tsumiki, wanted to Love sukuna (although hers was more of an unhealthy obsession to say the least) I think both got the reason behind Sukuna isolation wrong. Gojo thinks it's because of his power difference, but I believe it's because of Sukuna being a curse womb, half-human, half-cursed spirit.

As far back as in chapter 60, Kechizu tells the story of the orjgin story of the cursed womb death paintings. Loosely, there was a woman in the Meiji era that is able to conceive a half cursed spirit child and in the story she's ostracized by her community and so she asks for help from jujutsu sorcerers with the baby's corpse in hand. That's when Noritoshi Kamo aka Kenkaju gets a hold of her and performs experiments on her resulting into 9 pregnancies and 9 abortions. How does Sukuna fit into this story? I speculate he was the first child/corpse in the story, he either wasn't dead maybe the mother pretended he was dead to get him to safety, maybe he was dead and was brought back to life by Kenkaju, either way he was that unwanted child.

In chapter 116, where Sukuna finished off Jogo, they had an interesting conversation where Sukuna ended by praising Jogo stating that Jogo was strong, the acknowledgment and validation stirred up Jogo's emotions as he asks what it was he was feeling as he was brought to tears. This was an early indicator that Sukuna probably never experienced such emotions himself as he simply replied "Don't ask me, I don't know either." Further reinforcing the lack of connections and bond in Sukuna's life as an unwanted child.

I just also want to add that Sukuna has marks on his arms like those of Akaza from demon slayer, which has in fact a real practice in Japan where a thief is marked with a tattoo on the arms for each crime. I assumed he there was a time in Sukuna's life, based on this, when he was vulnerable enough for even mere humans to be able to punish him, but this could just be a stretch and those marks could mean nothing because in researching this I found that this practice started in the Edo period and was banned in the Meiji era which is when the death painting story takes place.

I had an incredibly detailed multipart dream so bare with me here.

At some point in the near future, like 2060s a woman’s twin sons both are in a car wreck and end up in vegetative states. She, just a janitor, out of her mind with grief when a super shady business approaches her and says they can possible save her sons if she agrees to their experimental procedure. She does and one of them not only miraculously recovers fully but his brain grows new connections and he becomes a super genius. But the other, mentioned to love ttrpgs, mysteriously vanishes. In the background an increased effort to reach Mars is mentioned on a news broadcast.

Jump forward several decades into the future. The Procedure as it’s called is still mostly only used sparingly and in emergency situations. It’s understood that sometimes it creates super genius brains and sometimes it’s known make people bodily vanish for no understood reason. The company behind it has revealed the got the Procedure from a crashed alien probe from Mars and that is behind the increased interest. In fact right at the start of the section a dozen scientists who have all survived the Procedure are landing on Mars.

As they do they do land they discover to their shock that not only does Mars have the plant life in the form of small, fungal growths but it also has a thin but breathable atmosphere. Satellites in orbit still show it as uninhabitable and they theorize that it’s some sort of hologram that makes it look far less alive than it is. Then they look up into the thin clouds and see huge orrery like machines made of marble, floating above, covered in statues of Greco-Roman gods.

The scientific expedition struggles in vain to understand these impossible machines. Nothing about it makes sense and they cannot discovered how they work until one scientist in a fit of desperation undergoes the Procedure a second time. He does not vanish but rather, on an expedition to the cloud machines activates one of them. As the rest of the expedition watches in awe from the surface and begins sending a message back to Earth one of them notices that the marble machine seems to be expanding.

We jump forward several decades again to a society of scientists that the company has set up on Mars. The marble machines have grown, and continue to grow, now crowding the surface. The company keeps sending people to interact with them, all fueled by the Procedure. The Procedure seems less and less effective, now disappearing around five out of six people who undergo it, with debates around if they are dead or not. But the entire civilization seems obsessed with solving the inexplicable mysteries of how the machines function and who made them.

But one scientist growing afraid of the increasingly claustrophobic corridors between the machines huge, moving, marble barriers decides to ask his friend, a janitor living on Mars who has never undergone the Procedure even once. He has no ideas but tells a story of the time his wife died and he felt mad with grief. He describes this grief as a labyrinth, and that the more he tried to find a way out the more lost he became. The only way to escape a labyrinth, he says, referencing a small RPG group he DMs, is to stop trying to solve it.

The scientist thinks about this as the walls of marble draw closer. Another six scientist undergo the Procedure again, the third or fourth time for all of them. And this time they all disappear.

I think part of the reason lucemond in particular gets a lot of push back (besides the obvious ick that comes from so many of the lucemonders using the tween actor as a face claim for their erotica only to gaslight anyone who calls them out on this) is that lucemond is a textbook case of the phenomenon of fanon breeding fanon.

I can believe people genuinely like reading and creating lucemond content but what they’re engaging with is literally just fanon.

I’m pretty much convinced that lucemond started out as a self insert ship for girlies who needed an excuse for Aemond to switch to team black but didn’t want to be seen doing the ‘AemondxTeam Black OC’ and accused of making Mary Sues

However lucemond metastasized in hotd fandom circles to include a bunch of headcanons and made up nonsense which has absolutely no grounding in canon. It might as well be an AemondxOC but shippers on the Twitters will argue till their blue that it’s not.

And that is probably what grinds on people — Lucerys is a nothing character in the book, his only role is to serve as a plot device. He is hardly much better in the show with only like 5 minutes of screentime and a page of dialogue. Additionally to a lot of us critics nothing about what we’re shown of lucerys is conducive to shipping with Aemond. I believe you wrote about this before in your anti-lucerys tag, but there is quite literally no reason for Aemond to like him. The only place this ship exists is in their delusions but they’ll nonetheless go on and on about fated fued and how obsessed Aemond is with Lucerys.

On AO3 and Twitter, Lucerys is some perfect Helen of Troy or celebrity it-girl figure. The realm goes to war because of him, and not the literal myriad of other political issues that have broiling for decades.

It’s the way a lot of lucemonders belittle and insult Aemond (particularly show!Aemond who unlike Lucerys actually has a character arc) to hype up Lucerys as this stunningly beautiful universally adored guy (who inexplicably has a vagina 75% of the time). Lucerys is a Mary Sue.

Now if lucemond had stayed in some niche corner of the internet there probably wouldn’t such vitriol but it’s the fact that is got big and overwhelmed the more ‘canon’ ship of Rhaenicent and became the dominant mlm ship for the fandom when by all rights that should have Aegmond or some variation of Viserys/Otto/Daemon for the old man enjoyers. Lucemond has become so big it’s practically unavoidable and the fact that it simply doesn’t make sense raises a number of folks ire.

Antis dislike lucemond and lucemonders because they’re pulling shit out of their ass. They dislike it because it’s more popular than it has any right to be. And they dislike it because it’s more than a little creepy to ship a grown man with an underage boy and insist on decribing him as twink or pretty boy. That’s not a twink it’s a child you creeps.

Now before people come out arguing about breakbones!luke and bottom/omega!aemond lucemond content realise that is a fraction of a percent of what is generally produced, and authors who create that in no way pretend they’re doing anything other than slapping metaphorical barbies together, additionally Aemond isn’t actively maligned in these stories, and older breakbones!luke avoids the obvious issue of this ship being incredibly creepy.

Now I am an advocate for doing as you wish so long as it’s not illegal. Ship and let ship. Don’t like don’t read. But I do sympathize a lot with the anti lucemond crowd and their reasons for disliking the ship but my advice is simply not to engage with them if you can avoid doing so. Firstly it’s just not a good look to get all heated over an intern ship and secondly they’ll probably go away eventually now that there won’t be any fresh content in subsequent seasons of the show. Let them have their delusions while they still can, they’re probably not hurting anyone.

So basically that’s what I think is going on with regard to lucemond and anti-lucemond in case anyone was interested in what exactly this discourse was about.

Cheers

honestly, anon, fair take. as you said, i mainly dislike lucemond bc it doesn't make sense to me why they would have the hots for each other considering their personalities, but especially their past behaviour towards each other. like i just don't buy aemond being in love with the person who maimed him.* the vibes are just not vibing. it wasn't a thing in the past with readers of Fire and Blood and the show doesn't help either bc i just can't ship someone wearing ewan's face with someone wearing elliot's face - the visual discrepancy is way too accentuated

but if lucemonds want to image breakbones luke or whatever, go ahead, it's not taking anything from my pie. i just don't engage with that content. i may rant on my own account from time to time, but that's that. good point re: a lot of pushback lucemond is experiencing is bc fans are baffled this is THEE no1 hotd gay ship (justice for old man yaoi!!!) , but, as you've pointed out, it's just not worth going to war with them over it

the genderbending thing is something that regularly crops up with mlm pairings so it's something to be expected

*i can imagine him being obsessed with the person who maimed him, but lucemonds are so squeamish about producing horror content. the stuff i've seen in that regard mostly involved some version of aemond keeping luke as a literal sex slave (ofc), which was executed too cartoonishly for my tastes

anyway. not my circus, not my monkeys. ✌

What’s Love Lock about??

This, like too many of my H/D stories, is an amalgamation of several stories I wanted to tell. I couldn't really figure out how they fit together, which is why I stalled on it.

One aspect isn't really a narrative story; the premise is that Harry is the nicest guy you will ever meet. I am tired--so tired--of people saying that Harry is thick, and stupid, and clueless, and cruel, for not loving Draco back. So tired. By the Grace was an attempt to write a story that shows why Harry might not immediately fall in love with Draco, in case you forgot that Draco bullied Harry and Harry's friends, not to mention tried to kill them; in case you forgot that Draco was classist and bigoted and awful. Anyway, that story still had people saying that Harry was a dick, so the petty part of me wanted to see what happened if Harry was even kinder and more supportive but still happened to not love Draco.

In the story Harry's in love with Ginny, who broke up with him a long time ago. Harry has accepted that she doesn't love him the way he loves her, but he believes he will never move on from her. She was The One for him, and he hasn't ever had feelings or even been attracted to anyone else since, so he just assumes that he's not really made to love more than one person in his life.

The next element of the story is teaching at Hogwarts. I often make Harry an Auror, because I really think that even though he would not be happy being an Auror, he thinks that's what he wants to do, and Harry is stubborn, and also not super emotionally intelligent. Like I think it would take a long time for him to realize that he doesn't love it. Meanwhile I really struggle to make Draco an Auror, because I just think that he would be so bad at it, and that he wouldn't want to, except to get into Harry's pants. I can believe that Draco would try to be an Auror in order to redeem himself, but that requires a lot of backstory, when all I really want is coworkers-to-lovers stories over and over (I think that's probably my favorite kind of love story).

So anyway, it's hard to think of scenarios over and over where Harry is an Auror and Draco is not, but they still cross paths all the time, and I had never written a professors-at-Hogwarts story, so I thought I'd give it a try. And with Harry being Mr. Nice, I realized that you could tell some really interesting stories that show how Harry has grown, become aware of his own abuse, and is able to really connect with some children as a result of that. He's really good with children who are outcasts and have anger issues, and Draco goes melty every time he sees Harry Potter talking gently to some grumpy third year.

After writing Away Childish Things I got very into the idea that Draco has always had a mortifying crush on Harry, and I'm not clear why that's not a staple in H/D fics. For some inexplicable reason, it's way more often Harry who has always been in love, an idea which I find somewhat repellent. I find myself really frustrated at what fandom has done with the "Harry was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy" line; Harry was obsessed because he thought Draco was a Death Eater and would maybe kill someone, which by the way, Draco tried to do--several times!!! Like yeah, definitely, read gay into things all you want, but next to Draco's behavior, Harry has no more interest in Draco than a rock in his shoe. Draco, meanwhile, seems to only think of Harry in years 1-5, seems to shape his whole existence around getting a rise out of Harry Potter. This is someone who is obsessed, who rapidly became obsessed years ago that day on the train.

Anyway, I wanted to write a story that explored that kind of obsession, which is not necessarily love but is perhaps a little more than lust. I wanted to show how Draco hated it in himself and was ashamed of it, and kept trying to destroy it, and yet there Potter was, always being strong and brave and hot, and Draco could just never stop himself.

Anyway, I wanted to show that this obsession had a lot to do with Harry's image and how Harry comes across, and that once Draco comes to know Harry when they both teach at Hogwarts, Draco understands that Harry is not only strong and hot and brave, but also sincerely kind and just and good. That's when the real trouble begins, because Draco falls so hard in love that he knows he'll never recover, but here Potter is still holding a torch for Ginny. Still, Harry and Draco become quite good friends; they confide in each other; they do things for the students together; they all around enjoy each other. Harry knows that Draco is gay, and Draco knows all about Harry's feelings for Ginny.

The problem is that this story--Draco falling for Harry while teaching at Hogwarts and the two of them becoming friends--has a lot of little plots involving Draco and Harry helping and caring for the students, getting involved in their little woes and victories. So while the only big, overarching plot is Draco falling in love, there are many many little narratives within.

The reason this is a problem is that was all supposed to be backstory.

The present day story is a love potion accident + bonding; it not only makes Harry fall in love with Draco but makes it so that Harry has to be in Draco's proximity or else he falls dangerously ill. Harry also feels much better when being touched by Draco. Hopefully you can imagine Draco's torture, being so in love with Harry but knowing that it's not real; not only is it not real but Harry loves someone else; not only does Harry love someone else, but Harry is his friend, and taking advantage of him in this state would ruin that friendship. Harry, meanwhile, has trouble understanding that loving Draco is a spell at all; he confesses that he really admires Draco and likes him and that he believes he's fallen in love. Draco refuses to believe this and furthermore states he has zero interest in Harry so there is no possibility of physical romance.

The cure takes a really long time to invent.

Then when Harry does get the cure, it becomes obvious that loving Draco really was just part of the potion. However, some weeks later, Harry confesses that he's never really thought about his sexuality and that the potions accident made him realize that perhaps there were aspects of himself he hasn't explored; he confesses that since the cure, he's been thinking about Draco in a new way. He knows that Draco isn't into him in that way, given how Draco acted when Harry was under the influence, but Harry tells Draco how he feels and asks if he could become interested; he asks if they could try something like dating and see how it goes.

Draco says no. He's convinced that the potion, though it is cured, addled Harry's brain and made him think he's things he's not; Draco's so terrified of taking advantage of Harry that he refuses to even consider it.

Time goes on. Harry decides to try dating other people. He dates a man. Draco has a nervous breakdown. Then Draco and Harry get together; the end.

Fandom Dissection: The Owl House

Warning: This post will contain spoilers for The Owl House

The Basics:

The Owl House is a Disney Channel cartoon that began airing in 2020, and just recently finished.

The story follows Luz Noceda, a human girl obsessed with magic who discovers a portal to The Demon Realm. There she meets Eda The Owl Lady, a wild witch as well as someone hiding from The Emperor’s Coven. She also meets King, the adorable self proclaimed “King of Demons”. Luz decides to stay in The Demon Realm so she can learn magic.

The show became immensely popular for various reasons. These include the characters, writing, animation, music, world-building and LGBT representation. However, these things do not solely build a fandom. So let’s apply my Six Elements to this show.

1. Recognizable Art style/Aesthetic:

The Owl House has a very recognizable aesthetic, very much playing into the fantasy genre while also having it’s own spin. It is more monstrous and macabre then your average fantasy school story but that’s part of the charm. And despite that, the imagery and backgrounds are surprisingly gorgeous.

In regards to character designs, many of the residents of The Demon Realm look like normal humans, save for the pointy ears. However some characters like Boscha inexplicably have more monstrous features. This makes the options for oc designs pretty expansive.

2. Faction System:

The Owl House has its own Faction System, that being The Covens. These nine forms of magic are a major element of the shows world building. The nine types of magic are: Abomination, Bard, Beast Keeping, Construction, Healing, Illusion, Oracle, Plant and Potions. Despite the coven system being criticized in the show, I often see fans associate themselves with one or multiple of the nine types of magic. The system is very much built to use as a jumping off point for a self insert or sona. This system also is interesting from a world building perspective.

3. World Building:

Speaking of world building, The Owl House has quite a bit of interesting world building. The Boiling Isles is a world that many people are fascinated with. The world is fascinating and filled with mysteries. The rules are set up and correlate with the story in an interesting way. The world and characters are also fit for many different types of AUs. Wholesome AUs, angsty AUs, or both.

4. Theories and Headcanons:

Like many modern cartoons, The Owl House had a strong theory following. It set up interesting mysteries about the lore of The Boiling Isles, Hunter’s Origins, Belos’s plan and The Collector as a whole. All of which were heavily speculated on in the fandom. The series is also perfect for headcanons. The characters are so expansive and likable, and due to many plot threads being cut by the shortened series, there’s room for fanon to step in where canon was unable to be fully developed.

5. Shipping:

Many people jumped on this show as a result of the viral news of Luz being canonically Bi, Amity being canonically a lesbian, and the possibility that they might get together being revealed near the end of Season One. This was when the show really became well known. And as such, Lumity (Luz X Amity) became the most talked about element of the show.

However there are other ships that heavily impact the fandom. The two big ones being Raeda (Raine X Eda) and Huntlow (Hunter X Willow), sometimes called Winter.

These three ships make up the bulk of shipping content for The Owl House, however some rarepairs exist like Alador X Darius. 6. Tumblr Sexyman:

Speaking of Alador and Darius, they are the two who fit the tumblr sexyman mold the best. However there are also similar followings for Raine and Eda.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, The Owl House is a very special show. It is unlikely we will ever see a show like it again. Despite how much it was screwed over by Disney, the show managed to have a pretty satisfying finale. Plus it made huge steps in representation, with canonical same-gender couples, non-binary characters and even an aroace character. It was dark but funny, sweet but heartwrenching, it was truly something special. It makes sense why it gained such a massive following.

saying goodbye to a really fucking weird year with -- honestly -- the most fondness and eagerness to get where I'm going next I've felt in, god fucking knows how long. since the cusp of 2015, maybe? and even then that was the giddiness of being newly in love and that redeeming the rest of the hurt and uncertainty. typically at the end of the year I'm so goddamn defeated I just want it to be over. I want some ritual of starting over so I can imagine I'll be able to make it go better this time. and this year started bad! I basically spent the winter in a disorienting fog of inescapable ptsd flashbacks that more or less ate my ability to function other than at work as an automaton with a lot of scripted sentences. I would come home from desired social interactions that had gone well sobbing because even though everything had gone well the act of interacting with other people hurt in an almost physical way, so that a positive social interaction was no better than a negative one, and I could not turn off the firehose of thoughts in my head no matter what I did. my imagination was a dried out nub of fuck-all that couldn't take root in anything. anything I enjoyed doing somehow made me feel worse, as if the wires had got reversed in my brain and whenever I had a good feeling my brain input the code for bad feeling instead. I was isolated, miserable, and EXHAUSTINGLY insane. I was constantly frightened with surging waves of obsessive terror and absolutely no corroborating evidence other than my own self-loathing and assumption that everyone found me as repulsive and exhausting as I did that my partner of nearly eight years loathed me and wanted me out of their life and were just too nice to tell me. half the time my thoughts were un-parseable to me. it felt like I was having thoughts radioed in untranslated from a language I didn't speak, garbled with static and warp. I was passively, if not dangerously, suicidal.

and then somehow I did two things, and I think they saved me, though I don't quite know how. first, I made good on my New Year's resolution, which was to pursue listening to music again in the old greedy, interested, wide-ranging exploratory way I did in my teens and early twenties before my life became a parade of having to survive disasters, because I'd already started by accident discovering new things again and being excited and transformed by them in a way I'd almost forgotten (this is also partly thanks to @hamartiamart and @picturesinhismind in particular, but some of it was just -- it happened, by accident, for some reason, and thank fuck). and listening to music made me interested in some things again. honestly I think my newfound ability to read and watch films again in this last chilly quarter of the year and the big messy Something I am labouring to shape into enough of a shape of use for Creation are all largely thanks to music and the new neural pathways and sense of wonder and eagerness it river'd through my brain. I started listening to music, really listening to music, again, and it made me able to pursue the books and films and histories and practises and interests that the music was trying to describe or tap into -- got really into hauntology this year, lads, among other things -- and thus I got my whole life back.

the other thing I did was that one day I couldn't stand it any more and I got on a bus and I told myself I'd get off the bus when it looked interesting. I remember this inexplicable feeling of claustrophobic terror, leaving my apartment, as if I was doing something wrong and dangerous and punishable, something that was going to hurt me. this at least had the benefit of signalling to me that no matter what, I had to keep going, before I started to really believe that feeling. and I did! I kept going all the way across the river, actually, and ended up in Covington, Kentucky, in a part of the city I'd always loved but had never actually explored on my own, in the leisurely way I like to take things in. I ended up at a cat cafe, of all places! they had delicious scones and a window through which I could watch the cats play if I didn't want to pay the enter-the-cat-room fee, and also an old favourite brown ale on tap I thought had been discontinued years ago because I could never find it any more. I sat there in this little warm corner of magic with stupid tears leaking all down my face for hours. then I started walking. it was not-quite-spring and cold and rainy but the grimy weird old city was beautiful. I was alive again. I went back nearly the next day I had off. just to walk around the city streets and discover new little Places and listen to albums on the bus. and then I started exploring more neighbourhoods. and I discovered the whole city I live in, which had never really been mine before.

also we bicycled, Corey and I, and I found more of the city to love, on long fond jaunts of wooded and wild and lovely places. during some of the worst of the summer cycling was the only time I was able to feel genuine pleasure and wonder. I have a list of coffeeshops that I love now, and restaurants where I've eaten, and three newly beloved used bookstores, and a vintage clothing shop where they recognise me, bus routes that feel homey to me, a queer bar I semi-regularly attend drag and burlesque shows at, a bike shop where the proprietor had me stand in place to listen to jazz on his meticulously crafted stereo system. I got my library card back, and -- well let me not get ahead of myself. it took me most of the year and a couple of false starts, but I got healthcare and access to medication again for the first time in many a fucking year, and I think it was because of the music, and the city. I found reasons to want to savour the world again and I became increasingly desperate to be able to do so. found a little queer clinic on one of my bus routes and got all my shots and things and started one medication that did fuck-all and missed several appointments and got worse for a while and then I started ssris again and it's like I'm a new fucking man. especially after the two-month adjustment period passed, like -- I'm not cured, I'm not well, I have so much more work to do, but I feel joy again. I feel interest. I am rewarded with the good brain chemicals when I do the things that I like. I can talk to other people sometimes, even if I still worry they couldn't possibly want to talk to me. I've made new friends this year, a couple of burgeoning new friendships I am so giddy and excited about, which has not happened in so long, and deepened some really cherished old ones, and even have sort of made work friends. my little sister and my favourite aunt got married (uh. not to each other.) and I danced my ass off at their weddings. Rowan and Dylan came to visit and we ran around the city and cooked them food, and of course the week Avery blew in with the summer rain, and Corey and I started a new tabletop game this autumn at the greatest place to play games of imagination in the world (our old friends' apartment above their magic and occult shop, or as their tagline has it, 'bespoke arcana') which, I am absolutely losing my shit about how much I'm enjoying it and my character, and my ability to respond to our DM and his partner's overtures of friendship now that I can be around other people for longer than twenty minutes without starting to scream internally and fall apart.

and, yeah, I got my library card back (I had like $200 worth of library fines from books that had been in my house since 2019, do NOT ask me to elaborate, it was a huge source of shame. anyway the Cincinnati library recently did away with fines altogether so all I had to do was return all the books and they would wipe away the debt, so to speak), so I've been reading properly again, and pursuing and discovering. and in 2023 I will do more of that, and perhaps I can finally, sometimes, be happy. something I had sort of forgotten was possible for me. I feel like I'm in a really insufferable stage of coming back from the dead, where everything in the world is so fucking DELIGHTFUL to me, and so much of it is mundane shit everyone else already knows or doesn't think is really all that worth putting up a fuss about -- buses and rain and small birds and pastries and the way certain sounds, sound, and memorex tapes and old film stock and ideas about detective fiction and gas stations and light and light and light -- but I like LIKING things again, not wanting to become dead most days I wake up because nothing can make the festering hurt rotting away at me stop, no taste is sweet, no sound is good, no touch is kind, no task brings me contentment or accomplishment, there is no point in taking care of myself or trying to become better when I only experience the same feelings of dread and screeching nerve pain and paranoid misery no matter what things I do or try to love.

god there's so much more I could say. I'm not used to this. it's got to even out sometime. but I am so excited to try to have a good year, this one time. I am excited to Become.

happy 2023, and may you also be eager for the mundane wonders in it.

Rant incoming cause I’m pissed. And confused. And hurt, to be perfectly honest.

I’m seeing Aurelio Voltaire in September, in city X, and my friend Catie* immediately decided that she absolutely has to go with me. She’s never heard of AV before, and it’s definitely not her kind of music so I was genuinely surprised, but sure, whatever. I appreciate good company.

Vey recently, she met this guy named Bruce* from city Y, and she immediately became obsessed with him, as she has a tendency to do.

Now. She found out that AV plays in city Y as well, and tries to manipulate/guilt/pressure me into going there instead. “Well, if he’s playing Y as well I’m DEFINITELY not going to X.”

I love X, and have very painful memories connected with Y. Also, I don’t feel like having a concert ruined by her making heart eyes at her rebound, and watching her grope him all night. Not to mention we’d be staying at his place, which is another thing I’m not comfortable with.

I guess I just don’t understand it. She doesn’t care about AV, she currently barely cares about me. Seems like it’s become an excuse for Catie to see Bruce and shove him in my face (for some inexplicable reason she’s desperate for my approval in everything, but that’s a whole different story).

Wtf am I supposed to do?

Emotionally I feel like I’m overreacting and should be able to make sacrifices for my friend, but logically I know she’s being a selfish dick. I don’t know what to say, I don’t want to come off as confrontational, but I can’t believe she’s not seeing how ridiculous her demands are.

I refuse to plan my life around a guy I’ve never met, and only have been hearing about for 2 weeks.

It’s such a stupid high school level problem, but it’s weighing heavily on my mind, and I just can’t shake it.

*names changed for the sake of privacy. I guess.

anyway. genuine rebelde thoughts no one asked for: (under a read more because wow was that more than i expected to write!!)

i feel like s2 had a very different vibe from s1... in s1 there was obviously a lack of depth/character development but the show seemed to mostly just be silly with minimal conflict and aimed at slightly younger audiences. which was fine. i liked the teens having teenage drama and the musical performances. but s2 was like... let’s throw in drug dealing, threesomes, car accidents, people going into comas, a grown ass adult man trying to manipulate and drug minors, and murder. like ???? idk. it was just very much not what i expected from the show after seeing season 1.

also the musical performances really left smth to be desired :( in the first couple eps it was okay but then all of a sudden it wasn’t about the music at all anymore which was weird bc like... that is the Whole Point! they are at music school! disappointing :/

plus, even though they were obviously trying to make the show more serious, no one actually... developed in a narratively satisfying way? like for example, esteban’s entire arc in s1 was figuring out who his mom was, but now he was just an egocentric asshole for NO reason the entire season. which i did not get. why were girls suddenly obsessed with him? what even HAPPENED with the ilse and laura plotline? why did he suddenly have 0 morals for most of the show and then in the last few moments decide actually maybe i will be normal? just. huh. and that’s ONLY esteban who, along with jana, is Thee most boring character in the show...

anyway. as for other characters:

- jana. boring. lame. tried to do something with her attempting to find her identity but that conflict has been going on for 2 seasons and nothing has happened. also why bring in the video w okane thing and then 1 episode later act like it never happened? plus the car crash thing? like she was fully traumatized from that for an episode but then she and dixon hugged and it was fine? don’t understand

- sebas. WHERE to even start. man was inexplicably useless and just there to be docile and made fun of for half the season then he suddenly became his old asshole backstabber self. NO semblance of any redemption arc with mj, no explanations for why he continues to act this way... they didn’t even delve into his relationship with his mom and her expectations for him! it was all surface-level motivation

- i really liked mj last season but she just felt not there this time. idk she was just there half the time to be with sebas for no reason and to give dixon someone to pine after which was disappointing... the morning after pill plotline was resolved so weirdly...

- emilia . okay emilia was okay in this season but i wanted to see her more :( i appreciated her actual motivation to do Something even if it got her expelled/breaking up with andi and also she seemed to genuinely learn from it. yay for actual character development! for once!

- andi... idk her entire plotline was the addiction and then being there to plot w the others. which... was boring?? i wanted more of her artistic pursuits and stuff bc i liked seeing her start songwriting!! THAT is a fun new road that would have been in line with the show’s vibe! not addiction and an overdose jesus christ. plus i want andi and emilia back together my beloveds

- okane and luka were a high point honestly. maybe just bc okane was new and seemed more interesting bc of that but they both were so entertaining... them just insulting each other at first was hilarious. but also he and luka never actually resolved the whole “taking bribes from gus to sell drugs” thing. and also his relationship (????) with jana was weird af and also never resolved after the whole video incident. i did appreciate that he and luka actually had genuine conversations unlike some people and their love interests (cough cough esteban). and the relationship btwn luka and his dad did actually sort of develop yay for development... i guess... anyway okane and luka saved half this season

- gus sucked. why did we need that. he was the only reason half the plot happened and it was just STUPID! lol. i did not enjoy him as a character or plot device. chicago voice he had it coming

well! anyway. this season was... interesting. i’ll give it a 6 or 7 out of 10 because i am absurdly attached to these characters, i do like some of the drama, & it makes me laugh/ feel happy. and i hope it’s renewed for s3. but was it structurally and narratively good? no

Tell me about the Death Note Jeff the killer Bath& Beyond guy

HEHEHEHEHEE THE SILLY

Ok so Beyond Birthday is a dude who only appears in the spinoff light novel Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases (LABB for short)

I'm gonna spoil most of LABB now teehee

Idk how much you remember abt Death Note but BB was raised in Wammy's House (the orphanage for gifted children made to raise successors for L) as a sort of "prototype" before Near and Mello's generation along with another kid called A, who we literally don't know anything about except the fact they killed themself, probably because the pressure of being L's successor was too much for someone so young to bear.

After A's death B became obsessed with surpassing and defeating L. He ran away from Wammy's House and changed his name to Beyond Birthday (his name was literally "Backup" before which... no wonder he went insane Jesus Christ) and decided that the only way to defeat L would be to make a murder he can't solve.

The reason he looks so much like L is because he impersonated him for the entire book. He was one of the only people who met L before the Kira case and there's definitely some spiteful mockery in his imitation. But since we don't know what he looks like most people just draw him like L except with a black shirt and sometimes with red eyes, since he was inexplicably born with Shinigami Eyes.

SPEAKING OF THE SHINIGAMI EYES THAT'S SO INTERESTING BECAUSE LIKE WHAT WOULD THAT EVEN DO TO A PERSON PSYCHOLOGICALLY. The book says he doesn't see murder as murder because like. He can see when the person dies they were gonna die anyway if not bc of him then bc of something else. Also he knew when his mother was going to die he knew when A was going to die all he could do was watch the numbers slowly count down the first thing he knows about a person before he even talks to them is their name and when they are going to die he lives surrounded by death-

Anyway he's really popular on Death Note Tumblr because of fucking course he is. I call him Jeff the Killer in a silly way because someone made that comparison and I can't unsee it anymore.

*sigh* yeah I have a Beyond Birthday playlist too...

So I've had this Tumbler for a while now, long time lurker and rarely posting. Just thought I'd give a little better introduction of myself than what my bio says.

I mostly prefer to keep to myself so excuse my sparse social interactions, haha. You can call me Charlie and I am definitely female. I was born the year Dr. Robert Ballard discovered the remains of the Titanic and for some inexplicable reason, I feel a connection to the “unsinkable” ocean liner. I had a minor obsession with the ship as a teen, and tend to enjoy reading about it, or watching documentaries or youtube videos of it. I am also a lover of Tudor history. 

My main interest here on Tumbler surrounds the Sims and fanfiction. I’ve been an avid simmer since the original Sims came out. I don’t know about anyone else, but for some reason I can get a kind of god complex when I play the sims, lol. I discovered mods during the Sims 3 and have been hooked ever since. My two favorite mods are MC command center and Wicked Whims. I’ve also used the extreme violence mod before and some of the sims storylines I created with these mods are rather, ahem, interesting. I would be willing to share if anyone is interested, just fair warning, these interesting sims stories are NSFW. 

My other love includes fanfiction. I first got involved in 2001 and was introduced in a now defunct Harry Potter site. My earliest fics are now lost. I later became prolific on fanfiction.net and you can still see my works there through the link in my profile. In 2005 I switched from Harry Potter over to Star Wars. For a brief time I had drifted into Gilmore Girls before drifting back to Harry Potter and back to Star Wars where I am currently firmly based. I have grown annoyed with fanfiction.net and decided to switch over to Archive of Our Own where all my current fics are being posted. 

My favorite fic trope is time travel/ time travel fix-its. 

I enjoy a variety of AU’s Such as: Anakin doesn’t fall, Darth Vader/Padme Amidala fics where Anakin was raised as a Sith, Character X doesn’t die, Luke and Leia were raised by at least one of their parents, and a multitude of variations of these tropes. In recent months I’ve gotten into modern au anidala fics, a trope that I’ve avoided for a while. 

My ships include:

Harry Potter/Hermione Granger

Rory Gilmore/Logan Huntzberger

Anakin Skywalker(Darth Vader)/Padme Amidala

Luke Skywalker/Mara Jade

Leia Organa/Han Solo

Ships that give me the willies but I wont judge those who enjoy them:

Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi * Because they literally equate each other as brothers/family and have both said so more than once. 

Anakin Skywalker/Ahsoka Tano * These two have a big brother/little sister dynamic and nothing anyone says can dissuade me. 

Hermione Granger/ anyone who is a Death Eater. * Because, WTF? You know what I’m talking about, don’t lie.

Psychology is an interest of mine and I enjoy incorporating it into my works in recent years. If I could pass math and had the finances, I would pursue a degree in the subject. Mental Illness is a subject that is very important to me and I like to consider myself an advocate for the support of mental illness and fully believe in the benefits of therapy. So I do not, under any circumstances, tolerate the use of words like crazy and all its synonyms as a form of insult. Everyone struggles with something so a little kindness and understanding, compassion, is something we should extend to everyone around us, including those who have wronged us. I am very open with talking about my own struggles, in the hopes that I can help someone else struggling in whatever way I can. Sometimes, it helps to know that you are not alone in your struggles. 

I am not perfect, in any way, but I try to be a decent person with integrity. I make mistakes and often struggle in how to fix those mistakes. Often, I need people to come to me and tell me if I have hurt or offended them due to my own lack of a filter and impulsivity. I am very open to listening to grievances and to finding a way to work through those grievances. However, what I will never do is blast those grievances or work through them in a public forum. I prefer not to stir drama on the internet. It is preferable, IMHO, to work through any issues privately rather than air it all publicly. I have seen a lot of examples when grievances are aired online and it only ever invites people outside the situation to insert themselves into the situation and stir the drama even further. I have no interest in participating in such situations, it is way too stressful. This is why I have distanced myself from facebook. I would much rather save this account for stress relief fun. 

And here, I feel that I should reiterate another point I made in my profile. I very rarely, if ever, check my messages here on tumbler. When I first joined and for quite a while, the only messages I would receive was porn spam. So I found myself avoiding my messages here. I have zero interest in accepting porn spam. No, I will not check out your webcam. No, I am not interested in watching hot women or connecting with hot women. While I appreciate the female form and have had some celebrity girl crushes, I am very interested in men. And no, I am also not interested in unsolicited penis pictures either. Why do I appear to be interested in this shit? 

Back to a fun topic. My love for history, sims, fanfiction and geeky stuff is also accompanied by my love for music. My two favorite genres of music are Rock and Classical. I have a wide variety of music tastes but I can’t stand country music and disco. Ick…lol! I was exposed to a wide variety growing up so of course I love music. I listen to music during a majority of everyday tasks and while I read and write. My music library is absolutely huge! 

If Interested, I have compiled a personal playlist that expresses my life through song. You can check it out here:

Mark, after Jean-Luc offers to defect to him:

Tagging @hey-its-zezzy because no one else is going to understand this