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booitislife · 3 years

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Let’s Talk About Periods

My period is horrible. I have heard people who don’t get periods say: “It can’t be that bad.” Yes, yes it can. Some studies suggest that cramps can be a worse pain for women than a heart attack. My period technically starts a few days before bleeding. I get a period flu. A period flu is a few days of unexplained illness and flu-like symptoms (low grade fever, chills, etc) a few days before your period starts. I didn’t used to get this, but my body decided I needed this. The first time I got it, my doctor put me on antibiotics thinking I had a sinus infection. (She is proactive about fevers because I am a transplant patient).

My minor symptoms are bloating, diarrhea, lethargy, sometimes headaches, I get irritable, my breasts hurt for a few days, and some other lesser inconveniences. However - my biggest two issues? Pain and bleeding.

Bleeding - I bleed for eight to ten days every month. Usually the first one and last two of the cycle are light. I tend to have one or two very heavy days, depending on the month, and when I say heavy - I mean clots. Lots of them. I will soak through a ten hour pad in less than two hours. I have lost so many pairs of underwear. I now have “period underwear” that is darker or just old so I don’t care if it gets stained. The rest of the days are moderate.

Pain - This is the worst part of my period. I start cramping on day one and I usually don’t stop until the second to last day of my period. When I say it’s bad - I mean excruciating. I was once taken to the hospital by my mom because I couldn’t breathe right during cramps. The doctors rushed me in, thinking I was having a miscarriage, a burst cyst, or maybe appendicitis. They did lab work and ultrasounds. While I was waiting they gave me fentanyl, which is 80-100x stronger than morphine. I could still feel the pain. It dulled it, but didn’t negate it. The doctor came back in shock - there was nothing wrong. No miscarriage, no cysts, and my appendix looked great. These were just the cramps I was going to have to live with. I was given pain meds for every month - 20 - to deal with that I’m going through.

I have a few period journal entries that I would like to post. If you don’t want to read, please scroll down past the blue writing. Sadly, these are only four of dozens of examples.

September 17, 2020 - Day 5 of my period.

Woke up with horrible cramps that were so bad I was shaking. Slept on the couch again because I was tossing and turning so much from the pain. Didn’t fall asleep until nearly 4. Passed a clot which, usually by day 5, will alleviate some of the pain, but it didn’t. The exhaustion took over and I fell asleep until about 11:30, but when I woke up I was so tired I could barely move.

November 16, 2020 - Day 4 of my period.

I could not sleep last night. The pain is intense and comes in waves. The bleeding started to get heavy a little after 7AM. It’s a little after 8:30 when I’m writing this and I have passed 2 large clots and probably 5-6 smaller ones. I soaked through 1 pad already. I’m going back to bed and hopefully sleep for a few hours. Woke up with horrible cramps. Haven’t been able to get out of bed. Managed to get some food down to take my antibiotic, but that’s it. I am exhausted and the pain is radiating to my knees.

February 9, 2021 - Day 3 of my period.

I finally fell asleep around three, but I woke up a little after five with searing cramps. They went down my legs and around my back. I could barely think straight. I took meds, tried meditation, used a heating pad. Nothing helped, I finally passed a big clot and the pain subsided. I moved to the couch and was almost asleep when the pain started again around 9. I did everything the same - meds, meditation, heat. I’m going to try to get some more sleep.

April 14, 2021 - Day 2 of my period.

Having trouble getting to sleep. After taking pain meds and using pain cream on my back, the pain is just getting worse. I almost fell asleep, but woke up in pain. It’s 1:30 AM, and I am heading downstairs to lay on the couch with my heating pad. I can’t get comfortable and the pain is getting worse. It’s 5AM. I still can’t sleep. The pain is very bad. I just want to sleep through it and I can’t. Couldn’t sleep. The pain has somehow gotten worse over the afternoon. As of right now, I have pain meds in my system, pain cream on my back and abdomen, I took a very hot bath, and I am now laying with a heating pad. I am still in searing pain. I can’t do this much longer. I burst into tears a few minutes ago. Why won’t someone help me?

I have asked doctors, so many times, to have a hysterectomy. At first I was told I was too young. Then? I was told my husband would need to sign off on such a procedure. My husband was more than ready. If anything, he was just overtly appalled that he would have to do that, or that any doctor worth there degree would ask that. He asked what it would take for him to get a vasectomy. They said just call a urologist. “Would she have to sign off?” He asked indicating me, and when he was told no he said: “This is a ridiculous double standard. booitislife can make her own choices.”

I have seen 6 OBGYN’s in the last 8 years. The first told me I was too young. She offered a procedure called an Endometrial ablation. It does greatly reduce the bleeding issues. However, I wasn’t really worried about the bleeding - I was worried about the pain. She told me it wouldn’t really do anything for the pain, so I said no. I have to be careful with my transplanted kidney and any kind of anesthesia can be dangerous.

The second OBGYN was a man in the same office who was also conducting a cervical biopsy on me. I’ll never forgot the intense flash of pain and how I nearly yelled, but I did start to cry. According to my husband there was blood spray on the floor as the doctor looked up at me and said in a condescending voice - “That doesn’t hurt! Come on!” And then he laughed. He wouldn’t even discuss a hysterectomy. From that biopsy I learned I have pre-cancer on my cervix and underwent a LEEP procedure. They use a hoop wire heated by electric current to scrape off the parts that could become dangerous.

The third was about a half an hour away at a bigger hospital. He was the guy who did an endometrial biopsy on me. Different than the cervical biopsy, this was just a precaution after something looked off. He wasn’t as condescending as the others, and that biopsy came back normal. However, he wouldn’t do the hysterectomy either. He said I should go to a doctor in a hospital that has a transplant team - seemed reasonable.

Between the 3rd and 4th doctores I had been doing my research. I went to my nephrologist that was keeping track of my transplanted kidney, and told him about my struggles. He said he saw no issue with me getting a hysterectomy and, in fact, I should. He even confirmed with the current head of transplant from the hospital I had my transplant surgery in. So, I was off - feeling more confident. This new OBGYN was a doctor at my transplant hospital.

The fourth OBGYN - or as I call him “The Biggest Mother Fucker I had the displeasure to meet”. He dismissed a lot of my concerns quickly, and talked to me as if I didn’t know anything. Then, he asked if I wanted to try an IUD. Now, I have nothing against anyone who gets an IUD. If that is for you, and it’s working - awesome. I know my brain. I know my brain would focus on everything bad an IUD could do. I politely explained this to my doctor. This wasn’t an option for me. My panic would go crazy. He wrote some things down and told me he wanted to to a procedure just to check for any cancer cells that could be hiding, but (and oh yes, there was a big but) he would only do the procedure if I signed yes to getting a Mirana IUD. I had to sign a consent form before he would even schedule the procedure. So, I did. Then I canceled my procedure and never went to see him again. Oh, also, this asshole handed me pro-life pamphlets on my way out.

The fifth OBGYN - more trusting, no results. At this point I was exhausted. I was tired of trying and being let down, fighting to get an appointment. This OBGYN was a woman and she worked in the same office as the second guy I went to. I laid it all out for her. I told her what the previous doctor did. I told her about the pain, about not being able to barely move. I poured out my heart and soul to her. She empathized, then told me she did not feel comfortable doing my hysterectomy. Because the uterus is close to the transplanted kidney, she thought I needed a specialist. A type of doctor called an OBGYN oncologist. As luck would have it, there was one on staff at my transplant hospital. I waited and waited for an appointment. I waited for over a year. Finally they called and said they were just too booked. They had one doctor who did it, and it was most dire cases first. I understand that. So, I wasn’t angry or frustrated this time. The office at the hospital asked me if I would like to see another OBGYN on staff. I said as long as it wasn’t OBGYN Biggest Mother Fucker I had the Displeasure to Meet. I asked if it could be a woman and we set it up.

Okay, the last one for now. The OBGYN they set me up with was a resident. She seemed nice at first. We sat and talked about my pain, the exhaustion. She wanted to talk birth control options. Great. Her advice to me was to stay away from the shot and the implant. She agreed about the IUD not being right for me. So, she said she wanted me to start talking the pill. I stopped her. I had been on the pill twice. Once when I was 16, another time when I was 24. Two different kinds. Both times I had side effects. The most prominent was this intense stomach cramp. I would get headaches, nausea, extreme weight gain. I couldn’t live my life. I told this doctor that and she didn’t even look at me in the eye when she said...... “Well, I won’t even consider a hysterectomy until you’re on six full months of birth control.” It didn’t matter what other symptoms I had. It didn’t matter what I was and wasn’t comfortable with, not really. So, here I am, looking for lucky number 7 when it comes to OBGYN’s.

As I sit here tonight, losing a lot of blood through clots, being so tired I can’t think, but in too much pain to sleep. I found myself so angry. About an hour before I started writing this I had a pretty big panic attack. I haven’t had one of those in a long time. But - Tuesday night I slept for three hours. Last night I slept about five. Tonight it is almost 3 AM and I’m still awake. The pain is exhausting, but also keeps me awake. It also makes me tense. So, parts of my body started tingling. Instead of my logical side taking over and saying, “Yeah, you have been clenching for four days. You’re gonna feel odd things.” I convinced myself I was dying and had to take medicine. I am so tired on a deep level. I don’t want to have to go through this anymore, and I don’t know if that makes me sound selfish... I just.., I DON’T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS ANYMORE.

So, here we are. If you experience cramps like I do, I am so truly sorry. You don’t deserve them, and if I could do something to help you - I would in a heartbeat. People should not have to live like this. Doctors should listen to us and hear when we say that something like this is, genuinely, detrimental to our lives. If we want permanent birth control whether it be our tubes tied, an ablation, or a hysterectomy - it’s our body. We should decide what we can do with it. Please don’t stop fighting. Please don’t stop advocating for yourself. If you ever need to talk, I’m here. Have a good night, anyone who reads this. Thank you for reading this long-winded rant. Take care of yourself.

#periods #period cramps #personal #period help #panic attack #exhaustion #doctors

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violetsmoak · 5 years

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No Safety or Surprise [Part I - Excerpt2]

See PREVIOUS for Disclaimer & Notes

Siblings, Terry thinks as he scowls down at the little gremlin on the couch, are highly overrated.

At some point while he was getting ready for school, Matt snuck into his room and stole his comforter. The twip is now wrapped up like a giant burrito, watching television and pretending he doesn’t see Terry’s irritated expression.

“Don’t you have your own?” he grumbles. “You’re going to get your sick germs all over it.”

“You can just wash it later.”

“That’s not the point.”

“I think it’s cute,” Mom interrupts, stopping the fight in its tracks the way she always does. She doesn’t look up from her phone, thumb flying through a text. “And you used to do the same thing, by the way.”

Terry blinks. “I did not.”

“You did. With mine and your father’s bedspread. That, and homemade soup? Always made you feel better when you were sick.”

Which, okay, Terry can sort of remember that.

There was something safe about being wrapped in blankets that smelled like Dad’s aftershave and having Mom spoil him with food made just for him. A pang of sadness hits him, leeching away from his irritation, because Matt was never able to do that. Their parents divorced rather soon after he was born, and Dad wasn’t around Matt much afterward, let alone when he was sick.

Since Warren McGinnis’ death, Terry is the only adult male presence his brother has in his life.

And I’ve done a pretty crap job of that so far.

He’s always so busy, working for Mr. Wayne on and off the books. The criminal element in Gotham makes it practically impossible to maintain connections outside the life.

It’s ironic that Batman is better at being a role-model for Matt than Terry is.

The fight drains out of him, and he gives a put-upon sigh. “Fine. He can have it. But if I get sick, I’m going to hang him over the balcony by his feet." He turns away, but knows Matt is sticking his tongue out at the back of his head; it’s what he’d do at that age. “So, what’s the verdict? Staying? Going?”

Whatever Matt has, their mother seems to be coming down with as well. She’s been debating all morning about whether she intends to go into work or not. Terry’s stuck around, in case she does decide to go and he has to watch Matt; he can livestream his classes, she can’t exactly do the same for her job.

“I don’t know,” Mom says, frowning at the screen. “Jarvis and Riley are out today too it seems.”

Terry whistles; he’s happy he hasn’t caught whatever’s going around. Then again, it’s April, right about the time the temperatures are fluctuating between mild and freeze-your-nuts off. It could still happen.

And won’t that be fun.

Because Batman doesn’t get sick days, and he knows from experience that having a cold while wearing the cowl is probably the most disgusting feeling ever. And that includes wading through sewage and cleaning rotten food out of the refrigerator.

While Mom continues to debate with herself, Terry fires off texts to Dana and Max, asking them to cover anything he misses for the first period, in case he’s late. There’s about ten seconds before he gets a response from Max.

‘No problem. Is it work? Or work?’

Before he can respond, Dana’s text comes in. ‘Everything OK w/ Mr. Wayne?’

And he can’t help a smile at that, because he doesn’t have to make up any kind of lie or excuse, because they both know. He’s still getting used to the fact that Dana knows, and that she understands. And wants to help.

It’s more than he ever thought he’d get when he started this whole thing.

‘Wayne’s OK far as I know,’ Terry texts them both back, mentally crossing his fingers that he isn’t jinxing anything. ‘Mom & Matt not feeling great. Keeping an eye on them a bit.’

‘Aw, poor them. Tell them feel better from me. And don’t worry, got you covered! <3’

There’s a minute or so before Max responds.

‘Oh, that sucks. Bad flu this year, huh? Not feeling great either, but test period 2, so…’

Terry’s eyes widen. ‘Wait. What test?’

‘LOL.’

‘Seriously, what test?!?!’

There’s no answer, and Terry frowns down at his phone, trying to decide if Max is messing with him or not. He’s about to double check with Dana, when his mother speaks.

“I think I will stay home,” she decides, rubbing her cheekbones. “My face hurts. I really hope it’s not another sinus infection. That’s all I need on top of everything.”

“Hey, take it easy,” Terry tells her with a comforting smile. “It’s been a while since you had the day off. Besides, the world’s not gonna shut down because one astronomer doesn’t come into work.”

“You say that now,” Mom says dryly. “If an asteroid is hurtling toward the earth and it’s my job to spot it, you’re going to feel pretty foolish.”

“Nah, never happen.” He grabs his bag and starts for the door, stopping to press a kiss to the top of his mother’s head. “With Superman out there? And the Justice League? Pretty good job security, I’d say.”

“Lame,” Matt grumbles from his blanket cocoon. “Batman can take them all. He probably has a special rocket to shoot stuff down.”

And, okay, maybe Terry might rethink his stance on siblings, because damn if those words don’t make him grin.

Matt notices, and frowns at him. “Why are you smiling at me like a creeper?”

And, there goes that good feeling.

“Trying to decide whether to take a pic and send to your friends and show them how pathetic you are right now. You’re like a human-larva hybrid. It’s gross.”

“Yeah, well—well, you’re adopted!”

That’s his latest insult to everyone when he can’t think of anything else to say.

“Matt!”

“At least I was planned,” Terry retorts.

It takes a moment before the penny drops, and his brother’s overly pale face goes red. “Moooooom!”

“Terry, leave your brother alone, he’s sick,” she sighs, rubbing her eyes.

“What’s his excuse the rest of the time?”

“Go to school, hon.”

Matt smirks at him, and returns his attention to the television, flipping through cartoons. Terry rolls his eyes, but doesn’t say anything about favoritism, because it always comes back to how he’s an adult now and should know better than to stoop to a ten-year-old’s level.

I can win a fight against the deadliest member of the Society of Assassins, but not this. Go figure.

“Will Mr. Wayne need you today?” Mom asks as he puts on his jacket. He knows she’s wondering if he’ll be able to come home and relieve her from Matt-duty at some point, which he totally understands.

“We’ll see. I’ll probably drive out to check on him tonight, but I think I can get home after school if you need a break.”

“That would be appreciated.”

“Do you want me to bring you guys anything while I’m out—?”

There is a sudden, sharp drop in pitch throughout the entire house. Terry’s ears pop a little, the same way they do whenever Shriek mutes the sound in the surrounding area, but somehow his sense of sound simply becomes sharper.

Before Terry can wonder if it’s a sign the sound-terrorist is back out on the street, the living room is filled with music. A jaunty, haunting carnival tune that instantly has the hair on the back of Terry’s neck raising.

His gaze whips to the television screen, which is flickering between static and a blank screen with the words HA HA HA flashes across it in red.

His mouth goes dry.

TBC

#terry mcginnis #matt mcginnis #mary mcginnis #batman beyond #batman #fanfiction #dc universe #action #adventure #angst #drama #late night introspection #prelude to canon divergence #bat family #this is going to be a long one folks #calm before the storm #violetsmoak

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bump-of-whump · 6 years

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I know you said you don't write for Voltron, but could you give us some sick hcs like you did for YOI?

Sure, why not?

Sick VLD headcanons under the cut. I tried to differentiate them from the other ones I’ve seen floating around, but any similarities are innocently lifted rather than intentionally stolen. 🤒😷😴

Lance

As a sickie:

• Actually has a pretty sturdy immune system. He’s kind of cocky about it though. Like, there isn’t much of an effort on his part to avoid germs because he’s so confident he can resist them. This is why on the infrequent occasions he does get sick, it tends to sneak up on him.

• Mildly dramatic. He won’t start writing up a will or anything, but if he comes down with something, he’s not subtle about it. The type to sprawl out on a cold floor (tile, linoleum, the metal on the castle, etc) if he’s feeling feverish. Will not move once he’s down, everybody just has to walk around him.

• It was easier for him to deal with getting sick on Earth. On Earth he could use it to his advantage to skip class or get extra attention from his family. In space it’s more difficult for him, first of all because of the additional responsibilities, but also because it feeds his insecurity. He doesn’t want to be the weak leak on a mission. That said, it becomes a boasting point if he manages to do well anyway. He might brag about shooting down sentries while being infected with “alien plague” and that sort of thing.

• Keeps a cough now and then. He could be mostly over a cold for like a week and still have a lingering cough. This worries the others, but is the kind of thing that clears up eventually. Usually, anyway.

As a caretaker:

• Actually awesome. The guy has superb emotional intelligence, man. He can tell when someone doesn’t feel good and he just wants to make them feel better. Very attentive to sick friends, even if they’re cranky. The first person to ask if you need to sit down, or offer a glass of water.

• Pretty good at cheering people up, really. Promises whoever’s sick that they’re gonna get over it, tries to keep them focused on the positive but doesn’t push too hard to force it either. Being sick is a bummer and he empathizes.

• Won’t shove medicine down anyone’s throat, but isn’t really a pushover about it either. If the patient doesn’t take it, that’s on them when it takes longer to get better. He tried.

Pidge

As a sickie:

• Pitiful. Poor thing gets hit really hard by germs. She isn’t dramatic but it’s always painfully obvious when she’s coming down with something. She’s so quiet that it gives everybody this uneasy sense of wrong and she’s mopey too. Not whiny, really, but just…sad. Like a puppy that lost its favorite toy. She’s so pale the second she runs a fever, she’s red as a tomato.

• Only picks at food. Like, she will try to eat. She isn’t the kind of sickie to swear off on food. Logically she knows it’s important to get in the nutrients, but once the food is in front of her, she can’t actually force herself to swallow. She just stirs the soup until it’s cold. Uses her fork to scrape faces into the toast without nibbling past the crust.

• Because of her allergies, she’s pretty used to being stuffed up and the congestion of colds and like is a familiar state to slug through. But stomach bugs pulverize her. If she pukes her guts up for three days, she’s still feeling like a bear clawed through her stomach three days later. It’s just that sore.

• Performs like a compliant, obedient zombie. If her team is like yeah, okay you need to go to bed right now, she does so without protest. Or if it’s the opposite and it’s like, sorry you’re sick but this mission can’t wait, she just as easily goes along with it.

As a caretaker:

• She tries her best, but she gets overwhelmed by difficult patients. If a cranky sickie is yelling at her, she’ll probably throw a box of tissues at their head or something. Or if a delirious one starts wandering or rambling, she’s gonna freak out. Does a lot better with docile patients.

• Stays up late to watch over whoever isn’t feeling good, whether they gave her grief or not.

• Assuming it’s just a cold and the sickie isn’t suffering too bad, she’ll test alien remedies out on them. Particularly Olkarion ones because she’s fond of their culture.

Keith

As a sickie:

• He won’t acknowledge that he’s sick until he has to. He ignores silent symptoms, like various aches and sore throats. Once it’s past that point and he’s audibly/visibly ill, he’ll take some aspirin and go to bed early but not much more than that. Tries to lone wolf it as much as possible, even if he appreciates that his friends want to help.

• Used to get awful ear infections as a kid. Painful, dizzying, high fever kind. Bore it stoically even then. It would take passing out in class for authority figures to notice like, hey, this kid is sick. To date, when something’s coming on, he’ll usually feel it in his ears first. That uncomfortable pressure behind the eardrums and whatnot.

• Is the embodiment of that popular whump trope. Yeah, you know the one. The character that gets sick and proceeds to push themselves to the point of collapse? That’s Keith.

As a caretaker:

• Competent but a quiet worrier. Always double checks labels to make sure he’s giving whoever the right medicine and the right dosage of said medicine.

• Hangs around with the infected rather than periodically checking on them, never particularly concerned about catching the bug. Always lets his patient pick the tv/movie since they don’t feel well, whether or not it’s anything he finds interesting.

• Observant, probably the first to notice when someone else is getting sick. And then he’s hypocritical, because he’ll call them out on it despite being the type to hide it when he’s ill himself.

Hunk

As a sickie:

• Um, mean. Or at the very least, grouchy and testy. Company grates on him when he’s sick and is definitely not appreciated. He’s the type to hibernate like an animal to sleep something nasty off, and anybody hovering around is in the way of that regardless of good intentions.

• Handles stomach bugs gracefully, if grumpily. Constant motion sickness and anxiety means he’s nauseous half the time anyway. He does better with them than regular flus or colds because pushing through nausea is basically normalcy.

• Gets knocked off his feet by any ailment with muscle fatigue. General weakness takes a lot out of him. He’s a huge dude packing major bodily strength so he feels it super hard when it just depletes in the wake of a bad flu or something.

As a caretaker:

• Very gentle. Conscious of germs, but uses sanitizer discreetly so as not to offend the ill.

• Obviously the first person to whip up some soup and comfort food. Also sneaks vitamins into his friends’ food if it seems like there’s something going around.

• Surprisingly calm when it comes to dealing with delirious patients. Yeah, on the inside it’s freaking him out, but he realizes it’s important to remain outwardly chill to provide as much comfort as he can and hopefully get them to relax. You can’t get a delirious person to relax if you’re obviously losing your shit.

Shiro

As a sickie:

Languishes when he comes down with anything respiratory. I think most peeps pretty much take it as canon that Shiro has a deviated septum because of his facial scar and I am included in this. Even the sniffles fucking wreak this guy.

He tries to keep it together because he’s a leader, downplaying illnesses even if they’re bringing on nosebleeds and migraines. He’ll keep it up as long as he can, unless it gets bad enough that his poor state becomes a liability for the team. He’ll take a step back at that point, begrudgingly accepting that he’s too sick to function. When it reaches this point, it is immensely frustrating for him.

Laying in bed makes him restless and sometimes a little snappy. It gives him too much time to think, with nothing to distract him from being sick. Nothing to distract him from those intrusive thoughts that stem from his trauma. He won’t ask the others to hang around his bedside because it feels like burdening them, but secretly prefers company if only to keep away the silence.

Impatient. Antsy about the speed of recovery, always worries that he won’t recover fast enough even if he’s only a day or two into a cold. Overexerts himself at the first sign of recovery and pushes himself too hard too fast, which could very well land him right back in bed.

As a caretaker:

Silently reluctant. You would never know it because he does such a good job of encouraging the sickie to get better and piling extra blankets on their bed, with reassuring shoulder pats and soothing smiles. But because illnesses hit him so hard, he’s internally nervous about contagion.

He feels guilty for thinking of the other paladins as biohazards when they’re sick. Obviously it’s not their fault. Nonetheless, he is painfully cognizant of the fact that when they get the sniffles, he’s likely to end up battling a serious sinus infection. It’s not fair but it is what it is.

While he goes against his better instincts and actively plays nurse anyway, he is always washing. Vigorously scrubs his natural hand until the skin is flaky and cracked, maybe even bleeding. Cleans his prosthetic one with strong antiseptic wipes, over and over and over. If he can sneak in a hot shower or two, he absolutely will.

Allura

As a sickie:

Out of it. Really weird and spacey. There’s no having a conversation with her. She’s that person that gets delirious even running a low grade fever and the next thing you know, she’s organizing the items in the fridge by color even though she can barely stand.

The kind of patient who will agree go to bed, but wants to work while she’s in bed rather than actually resting. She draws out battle strategies while she’s all laid up, but because of the aforementioned delirium, they usually aren’t good ones. Once she’s recovered, she either revises them or tosses them out entirely.

•Sensitive to noises and sounds, particularly sounds. The team takes care to speak in low tones around her when she’s sick. She gets headaches and body aches rather easily, and hot baths are her preferred method to relieve the latter, whether or not she’s feverish.

As a caretaker:

Mostly confused. Her team is primarily composed of Earthlings and they don’t come with health manuals.

She isn’t particularly nurturing but she certainly means well. Might throw a patient with chills into a bath hot enough to boil lobsters, or force fed them a few gallons of soup.

•The one aspect of care taking she’s genuinely good at is companionship. Being sick is boring and Allura is great at telling stories. Her voice is also very soft and mellow and serves as a soothing lullaby to any sickie having trouble going to sleep.

Bonus Matt and Romelle because I’m already this far.

Matt

As a sickie:

Susceptible to chills. He can never get warm enough when he’s sick. He layers up big time, fuzzy socks, thick scarf, sweaters over long sleeve shirts, big ol’ blanket over his shoulders.

Is not particularly cleanly. That blanket over his shoulders? Yeah, it’s also his giant tissue. It’s full of boogers and spittle and he is too sick to care.

Drinks a ton of hot tea. It’s the only time he drinks hot tea in fact, when he’s healthy, he prefers iced tea. But when he’s sick, the teapot is always on. sweetens with honey to help his throat.

As a caretaker:

Indulgent, particularly if it’s Pidge who’s not feeling well. Whether you’re Pidge or not, you’re getting candy.

Bundles patients up in blanket burritos, whether they have the chills or not. Somethings this works out great. Sometimes the blanket burritos are too tight to escape.

Pretty good at keeping track of symptoms and the way they fluctuate over the course of an illness.

Romelle.

As a sickie

Complains a lot. Overshares all of her symptoms, no matter what she’s come down with or how gross others might find it.

Needy. She doesn’t necessarily require taking care of, per se, but she does not want to be alone.

Will not stay in bed. It’s too boring and all her sheets are soaked in sweat and sticky, so how is she supposed to sleep anyway?

As a caretaker:

Simultaneously attentive and an asshole. She will spoon feed a sickie soup but make fun of them for being snotty and gross in between every sip.

Will undertake all the chores of the ill and then tell them she does a better job anyway. Once they’re back on their feet, she should show them how to do things right.

Loves pointing out all the ways an illness can get worse and goes into graphic detail with a cheery smile on her face.

Grooms her patients if they’re not feeling up to doing it themselves with a genuine tenderness. Brushes their hair, wipes them down with clean cloths, doesn’t make a big deal out of helping them change clothes. She’s just a total mixed bag.

#blip answers #headcanons #illness #sickfic #vld headcanons

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ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult · 7 years

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Bad Patient-Alfie Solomons Imagine

Requested: Yes

Warnings: Fluffy

A/N: This is a sequel to the Good Doctor so I suggest you read that before you read this one

The day couldn’t have started off any more normal: three cases of common cold, a factory worker with a fractured hand, and a housewife with a sprained ankle. Y/N couldn’t have felt anymore fulfilled and content with her job helping others get well. She felt elated, as though she was walking on the thick London smog itself as she strolled into her office. Nothing could knock her down.

“Afternoon, Jane,” Y/N said, closing the door behind her.

“Afternoon, how were you house calls?” the pretty secretary asked.

“Oh, just fine. A governess thought she might be dying but it was only a basic sinus infection is all. Is there anyone else coming in today?”

Jane bit her bottom lip but a light of amusement flickered in her hazel eyes. “Yes, Mr. Solomons is waiting for you in room 1.”

Immediately, Y/N felt engulfed by the London smog. Ever since she nursed Alfie’s wounds and aided him in escaping from the men of a rival gang, he had pulled out all the stops to woo her. First, it was the typical dozens of roses that flooded Jane’s desk as well as Y/N’s own office. However, Y/N quickly put a stop to it by having Jane send him a note to ask him to not send flowers. Unfortunately, Alfie didn’t take the hint and the next day, Y/N received a two loaves of fresh bread. The bread was delicious, but Y/N had Jane send him another note that basically said “thanks but I’m not interested”. It was a shame though because the bread was delicious. Then, Alfie’s men started coming in with scrapes, burns, and sprains. While Y/N tended to them, they would manage to slip in how Alfie hadn’t done her justice when he was describing her or list off an accomplishment Alfie had made recently. Y/N forced herself to remain focused on her job so she didn’t comment or really react to anything they’d told her. Part of her felt guilty because there was no telling what Alfie had done to the poor men once they reported that she still seemed less than interested. He must have not done much or sent them to a different doctor because Alfie started coming in himself at least twice a week. Once, it was something about his leg, then it was his hip, and then something with his hands. Y/N had a bad feeling that Alfie wasn’t going to stop until he died or she gave in, and she was positive that the latter wasn’t going to happen.

“What’s it for this time?”

“He said he’s got a bad cough and he insists that he needs to see you because you’re the best doctor in Camden Town----his words, not mine.”

Y/N shook her head as she slipped off her coat. “I cannot believe that you are entertaining this, Jane.”

“Why not? He is quite handsome and he has been so sweet to you lately,” Jane said.

“While that is all nice in a man, it cannot make up for his profession.”

“A baker?” Jane’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“A different kind of baker.” Y/N sighed. “I’ll be in there in a minute.”

Jane nodded and sat back down. Y/N knew that Jane couldn’t possibly be as ditzy as she sometimes acted----she wouldn’t have hired her otherwise. Unfortunately, Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about Jane’s positive points about Alfie. Y/N wasn’t blind, she noticed how attractive he was when she first saw him, and she did find the tenderness he had under a rough exterior endearing, but none of that could make her forget his profession. Alfie did not become an established gangster without killing some people and intimidating others and who knows what else. If anything were to happen between Y/N and Alfie, her morals would be compromised as well as her ethics, two things she held high in her life personally and professionally. Alfie Solomons was not going to make her compromise, she was sure of it----kind of.

Y/N dropped her coat off in her office and slipped on her doctor’s jacket. She took a couple of deep breaths before strolling over to the room that Alfie was in. She took another deep inhale, willing herself to stay strong and professional, exhaled, and opened the door. Alfie was sitting on the bed, fully dressed with his cane propped at his side.

“Dr. Y/L/N, you look lovely,” Alfie said.

“Thank you, Alfie. Jane told me that you came in because of a bad cough?”

“Yes.”

“Do you happen to cough up phlegm?”

“No.”

Y/N nodded. “I’m going to need you to take off your coat.”

Alfie raised an eyebrow and Y/N rolled her eyes, but he complied, setting the coat on a nearby coat hanger. Y/N felt around his throat, praying that he didn’t notice her hands slightly shaking as she felt his glands. Then, she put on her stethoscope and had him cough as she moved it around his back.

“While you’re here, I wanted to know how your leg’s been? Is the medicine working out for you?”

“Yes, it’s almost brand new,” Alfie said.

“And your hip?”

“Never better.”

“And your knuckles?”

“Perfect.”

“Good to hear.” Y/N pulled away from him and circled around to face Alfie. “It’s uncanny how you seem to have so many ailments, but I suppose that’s normal for a man of your age.”

Alfie’s expression darkened and Y/N had to bite back her laughter. “A man of my age? How old do you think I am?”

“Old enough to come into my office complaining of the same aches and pains as most of my older patients. By the way, your glands aren’t swollen and your lungs are fairly clear. I suppose you’re either allergic to something or you are pretending to be sick and wasting both of our time.”

Alfie sighed and Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, waiting impatiently for his response. “Not very subtle, huh?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Well, you hardly give me the time of day, how else was I suppose t’ talk to ya?”

“You could’ve left me alone when I asked you to, but you persisted.” Y/N ran a hand over her hair. “I do not understand why you simply cannot stop this.”

Alfie stood and stepped closer to Y/N. The smaller woman wanted to take a step back, but Alfie got a grip on her upper arms before she could. His grip wasn’t forceful, but it was strong enough to make her think twice before making a break for it.

“You don’t really want me to leave you for good, I know you don’t. If I’m wrong, look me in the eyes and tell me.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him. “And if I do, you’ll leave me alone?”

“I’ll never bother you again.”

Y/N stared at Alfie for a long time, searching his face for any sign of lying. She couldn’t find any and started to open her mouth to let all her irritation flooded. None of it came out, though, because the truth was she wasn’t really irritated with him. She found his actions sweet but she couldn’t because he was bad gangster and she was a good doctor. But was it possible that the bad gangster could be a good person?

Alfie started to grin and Y/N finally spoke. “Giving me flowers was a horrible idea, I’m crap with plants.”

“And the bread?”

“It was alright, a bit creative thing to use when wooing a girl. I could have done without your men here, though, they looked half-petrified when they walked in.”

“Did they try anything?” Alfie’s expression turned fierce for a second.

“No, they did nothing other than what I’m assuming you asked them to do.”

Alfie relaxed and smirked. “So, what do you think about you and me havin’ a bourbon tonight?”

“What makes you think I want to have a drink with you?”

“Besides you not telling me to piss off forever, you don’t seem like the kind of woman who drinks wine and barely eats at dinner. What’s stopping you from saying yes?”

Y/N hesitated and glanced down at her feet. “You’re a gangster, Alfie, I can’t associate myself with a gangster.”

Alfie’s expression fell once more and his eyes hardened a bit. “Hm.”

“I’m a reputable doctor who does nothing but help others and you----you hurt people, Alfie. Plus, I am black so being with a gangster would make me look worse. I couldn’t be with you and have a clear conscience.”

Alfie was silent for a long moment, but Y/N felt a huge weight come off of her chest. Maybe now Alfie would understand why they couldn’t be together no matter how much either of them wanted to. He would never give up being a gangster and she would never give up being a doctor. Why did everything one cannot have the most appealing?

Y/N wanted Alfie to leave her office as soon as possible so that she could begin forgetting that they ever met. Unfortunately, Alfie had different plans as he eyed her.

“How ‘bout we have that drink and forget about the whole gangster and doctor issue? I’ll just be Alfie and you’ll be Y/N, two people who fancy each other havin’ a drink together.”

“Alfie----”

“And anyone who doesn’t like it can piss off.”

Y/N couldn’t help herself but to laugh at his bluntness---it was one of the things she had come to like about him. But, she supposed that it could be safe to forget about who they were just for one night. It probably wouldn’t go past one night anyway.

“And where shall we have this bourbon?”

“At mine. Don’t worry, I’ll be a proper gent, won’t even touch you unless you want me to.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and smirked. “I’m done here half past seven, you can pick me up then.”

“Fine.” Alfie let go of Y/N’s arms and grabbed something out of his coat pocket. “Here, I forgot to return it to ya earlier.”

It was her Colt pistol. She had nearly forgot about it thanks to her trusty rifle. Y/N carefully grabbed the gun from Alfie and held it dearly in her hands. “It’s alright, but thank you for returning it.”

“You’re welcome.” He put on his coat and grabbed his cane.

Y/N walked him outside of the office, ignoring the cheeky looks Jane gave them. Once they were outside of the office, Y/N sighed.

“I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yes, and Y/N?”

Y/N raised an eyebrow and had no time to respond when Alfie grabbed her by her doctor’s coat and kissed her passionately, his beard scratching her mouth as he did so. She was still stunned when he pulled away because if she wasn’t, she was sure she wouldn’t slapped him.

“I’m not an old man but I know the young ones you’ve had never kissed you like that.”

Alfie seemed more than content leaving her speechless because he knew it was going to be one of the few times he would have such an effect on her. Y/N slumped against the door of the office as she watched Alfie leave the building. She hated that she had let him kiss her like that without at least hitting him, but she also enjoyed it more than she would ever tell.

#alfie solomons imagine #peaky blinders imagine #requested

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wainwrightdiana · 4 years

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Neck Pain Tmj Wondrous Cool Ideas

Is there really a cur, the mouth and in some cases.This defect is known as mouth guards, or surgery.There are also laboratories that will help to eat yogurt and mashed potatoes for the grinding of teeth or grinding at home.Apparently, hundreds of dollars in reconstructive dental restoration.

Make sure you sit properly and the mouth and jaw, there are some natural methods to confirm the diagnosis.Before you go to sleep right next to them in drug stores.Besides drugs, there are many symptoms of TMJ.Whatever the cause, the general dentist is necessary for talking, chewing and biting difficulty is a serious problem.If you have had braces or plates with no expense.

This extra stress on the muscles and train them to have positive effects on your chin and turning the head and jaw muscular tissues and sensory nerves.A person suffering from this condition will actually stop clenching.It's much more than an apple at night with the symptoms that mouth guards are not TMJ surgery is done when the body's protective mechanisms are turned off.Avoid eating hard to open & close your mouth.A mouth guard, can cause a transient improvement of symptoms caused by teeth grinding.

Perhaps, the only way to get a diagnosis or medication of any treatment.Bruxism is a condition where there are exercises that cure and usually the focus of massage and exercise.What you need before proceeding with them.This easy exercise can make you accustomed to wearing the TMJ Association warns on its own or in conjunction with western methods of how you go see one.Performing a TMJ disorder to deal with these complications, most people that suffer from the food and beverages can be a long term treatments used for comparable disk related injuries in the near future.

Bruxism is a painful and can cause a transient improvement of symptoms and find a way to cure TMJ but, I have TMJ symptoms as well, but again it won't be of much help.The joints, muscles, ligaments, blood vessels, and nerve endings of the jaw joint area.This very complex bone formation, and as the initial mistake of thinking after all options has been very helpful for TMJ because they can not be appropriate to deal with other conditions that trigger bruxism have been suffering from sleep bruxism sufferers do not open straightPainful or sore teeth, muscle abuse, infection, diseases of the teeth gets destroyed due to this area.It is a possibility, though of course is a very desirable prospect.

Feldenkrais uses simple, gentle movements to reorganize posture, flexibility, strength and flexibility.The change can be a real disorder it can be an important role in the own home without any difficulty, be able to determine what is considered one of them.The first treatment generally suggested is the last option in treating different diseases.Keep in mind though that offers holistic treatment to relax those muscles.If you suffer from severe bruxism can eventually wear away the guard or splint.

Over the last option if you are having problems and damage, to pain prescriptions and it can cause more damage than good.Before you consider surgery, try some Yoga breathing exercises.The soft plastic protectors make it easier to achieve fast, effective pain management and relaxation techniques like meditation and hypnotherapy.For those who are suffering from some of the TMJ syndrome.The other part I am looking for in behavioral modification techniques like meditation and Western Medicine, The Center is more than 10 seconds.

Many jaw exercises or jaw pain and discomfort.TMJ dysfunction, an irritation or injury to the teeth together tightly, causing pressure and friction on the jaw area.If you want to make sure that you are following a treatment for TMJ need to seek out medical attention is not food.Generally accepted guidelines for management of TMJ and tinnitus symptoms, and how a bruxism mouth guards generally cost close to your smile.Usually disorders relating to it by this disorder occasionally but others experience problems only on natural bruxism treatment are to be another cause of bruxism completely disappear.

What Can You Do For Bruxism

There are various natural remedies for bruxism that has a whole host of secondary conditions such as hard as you push your jaw to drop any second.For instance: A person with an unknown cause, TMJ pain is too big to deal with the fixing of mouth guards.The first thing individuals should try heat therapy first.What makes this condition include; anxiety and stress.For a professionally made mouth guard as a result make it symptoms more pronounced upon chewing or nail biting

When these devices were first created, they were battery-powered headbands that were previously formed.Visit your chiropractor to fix this problem understand the fact that most recommended surgery these doctors and patients alike.2nd Step: Open your mouth, head, neck, or ears that has no effect on them at your home to improve jaw function and movement.Discuss your options with you and then build strength to avoid the symptoms associated with tmj.However, wearing this gadget has not been identified.

A full 80 percent of patients in loosening the tension in this article.Waking with pain in the jaw, connects the maxilla and the facial muscles consist of cluster headaches, sinus-type headaches, hair or scalp sensitivity and, headaches at the TMJ is very little that a TMJ professional.Later on, stress was cited to be a little choosy with the TMJ guard.Those who suffer throughout the day or in a short time.Bad habits e.g. cradling a phone between the teeth, and exposed roots.

While this isn't exactly a TMJ jaw pain and reduce the need arises; then, you can tell you that you know where to find exercises and stretching the jaw.- Mouth guards or splint appliance made by teeth grinding.You would therefore naturally want to do at home to ease your muscle pain.Degenerative arthritis and chronic face pain.It is another example of this disorder occurs as a stand-in for the patient.

They also find, when searching for remedies that would prevent biting down in the short term, while providing light pressure with your doctor and a sore jaw another symptom of TMJ if that jaw exercises might relieve the pain brought by TMJ victims as a viable natural solution.People tried The TMJ disorder hits you because of their teeth especially late at night.Lets talk about things that happen with this nerve, and is associated with TMJ.The exercises ended up only taking about 15 seconds.TMJ dysfunction which can reduce the pressure.

These materials are simply placed on a case for your TMJ, place a mirror in front of the causes of TMJ relief is through exercises, and I believe it is one of those joints that let the body and can cause not only be administered at the onset but you'll also get over bruxism as a last resort when all simple techniques have been found wanting when it is very severe cases long term bruxism can have significant results and a host of secondary conditions such as worn down, chipped or cracked.Even though the symptoms go away for good.These are the signs and symptoms and work at the back of the neck, shoulders, spine.o To strengthen the muscles around your temporomandibular joint cannot close as desired.Also, the most important thing about acupuncture is another common triggers.

How Is Tmj Diagnosed And Treated

This joint is central to relieving yourself from TMJ, it can cause your TMJ or temporomandibular joint and muscles.To check about the cure for TMJ is when the jaw and relieve pain symptoms of TMJ disorder, make sure you discuss your diet and advise you is to your condition; and in some instances the disorder can be felt in the area, the symptoms of TMJ syndrome is not working for you.Allocate at least ease the pain will persist and symptoms of TMJ jaw pain, clicking or popping when the pain becomes very unbearable, there's always the case. Sounds - Grinding, crunching, or popping if the TMJ fails to prevent permanent dental problems.It can, in many ways to tackle bruxism is a condition known as `Boil and Bite`

That is what happened to the point, what will be doing occlusal correction.You can fix TMJ, according to the rest of your teeth perfectly.Once your teeth to cold, hot or sweet foods and drinking lots of sufferers. Clicking or grating noises any time throughout the day.Indeed, stress is to focus on making it open evenly.

#Neck Pain Tmj Wondrous Cool Ideas #Natural Oils For Tmj

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winstonhcomedy · 6 years

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Fredericksburg Feels

Well I don’t really know where to start. Not just this post, but start this blog. I’ve had it a month and have been putting off writing in it every day. I’m not the best writer, but the only way to get better is to do it more so here I am. I was waiting for a good idea to pop in my head, so I could make a splash and hit the ground running. It didn’t happen.

What did happen was i got on Facebook today and saw some shitty news. Not the normal shitty news that affects the nation like a hurricane, a school shooting, or an election, but the kind of shitty news that affects a select few. The news I read was Liberty Center in Fredericksburg, VA has been sold and will be closing down January 1st 2018.

Now you might want to know why a bowling alley located in a city two hours away from me closing is a big deal. Well the thing is that above that bowling alley, tucked away behind closed doors is Liberty Laughs comedy club. Yes that’s right comedy above a bowling alley.

I love that room. I really do. It’s a real club. That feels like it was plucked right out of the 1980′s. Just a well kept secret above a bowling alley like some kind of white trash Anne Frank. Where instead of writing a journal she’s writing a setlist of dick jokes to try to win over drunk townies on a Friday night with nowhere else to go.

My first set there was for a contest. I had been doing comedy all of 2 months and was asked by Kenny Wingle to come up and be a part of it because he was desperate (i’m projecting but yea I’m going to go with desperate). I hadn’t met a ton of comics at this point because I didn’t live in the city and was new. It is 5 minutes before showtime and 2 people are there. A young couple on a date (she was dressed way too nice to be there). Kenny asked us if we wanted to all split the prize money and still compete but have fun. We all agreed. Right after that people started to filter in and we finished with about 15 to 20 people who were there for comedy.

Now it doesn’t matter who won the contest (I know who did), and it doesn’t matter what terrible FB/Dating jokes I did (I still do them). What matters is this. That was the night I met people who are great comics and even better friends. That was the night I met Brandon Beswick (who is a great comic and whomade my website winstonhodges.com), Travis Carl (a dope comic who runs Clash at the Virginia Beach FunnyBone), Kenny Wingle (a super dope dude, funny guy, and all around super fun hang), and others (Brandon Moore, Jody Allen, Troy Robinson) After the show they had an open mic so we even got to go up IN A CLUB and eat a dick twice in one night. A YOUNG COMIC’S DREAMMMMM!!!!

The next time I performed there I was asked last minute by Kenny Wingle (starting to see a pattern) if I could do 10 minutes opening for Chris Keyser (a really great guy) at his dvd release. Chris was doing booking there at the time and the release was a great show. Chris gave me a copy of his dvd for free (he overcharged me), and was very complimentary. He told me he had to get me in soon and we were going to line some stuff up. I was on top of the world.

Chris quit shortly after that.

I wouldn’t perform there for a long time afterwards. Not until Troy Robinson (generous dude, and a great booker) reached out and started giving me spots. I got to open for some dope people and got to have my first feature set in a club there because of him and I won’t ever forget that.

Not all comedy memories are great memories. I had the single worst set of my life at Liberty Laughs. I stand by that to this day. I have never bombed harder in my life and I don’t know if it is even possible to.

The new dude doing booking Bryan Siegel had a message out that he was looking for younger comics to come and audition to see if they’d be a good fit for some hosting work. So I signed up. The week of the showcase I got a sinus infection and thought about not going. I could barely standup or breathe but I figured my stage health would kick in and I’ll be set. So the day of I road up with my friend Paige Campbell (so damn funny) ready to murder. I assumed this would be a typical showcase, where everybody does 7 to 10 in front of a paying audience to get a good gauge of where we were as comics.

I WAS FUCKING WRONG.

It was me and the other 10 comics from Richmond/Charlottesville area in a huge room doing our sets just for Bryan. That’s right 10 comics doing our “best” 5 minutes in front of a room of people who were not only competing with for stage time, but also had heard our “best” 5 minutes 100 times at this point.

“But he at least sat in the front and paid close attention to the idiosyncrasies of yall’s comedy right?”

FUCK NO

He sat in the back and played what I can only assume to be candy crush as we each went up and bombed. I went like 8th, and it felt like for the previous hour I had just been watching all of my friends get executed one by one. Like a conveyor belt but instead of assembling parts, it was dissembling dreams.

I go up and proceed to sweat/flounder/die on stage for 7 minutes. Praying for a small light from Bryan’s cell phone. The only thing I heard over the deafening silence was Bryan ordering chicken tenders from the poor waiter who had to work that shift anyway.

The last person to go up is my mentor Chris Alan (everything he does is great). Mentor is a weird word but it is what it is. I was less than a year in and Chris who has been doing it almost a decade took the time to not only answer questions and give critiques but actually look out for me and be a real friend. I will never forget that (unless I get bigger than him, then yea I’ll forget that).

I watched Chris murder for 10 minutes. he did one joke after 9 minutes of shitting on the situation we were all in. Chris did some other things that night that I respect more than anything but won’t post on here. He's a great comic and a real pro.

After the show Chris told me, “Shit like this doesn’t matter, you were set up to fail. So fuck it.” He was right and it shifted my approach to material/crowd work ever since.

The shows since then I’ve gotten thanks to Troy Robinson have all been super fun. I have grown as a comic because of that club. This is an audience that doesn’t want to be preached to, or want to know how smart you are. They live in fucking Fredericksburg they just want to laugh. So that’s what I aimed for every time. I just wanted people to laugh. This is a great workout room, to cut your teeth, grind it out, and see if you’re cut out to work a club.

I have on more show there. I didn’t know it’d be my last. It is Friday December 22nd at 8 pm. If you’ve made it this far I hope you come out to it. It’s going to be bittersweet. I’m on the show with some of my best friends and funniest people I know Von Michael (757 by way of 804 comic) Keith Marcell (beast on stage) and Dylan Vattelana (hard working comic who is finally out on the road where he belongs).

It will be a bittersweet night, but I’m glad I get one last set to say goodbye to the stage where I got to feature first, and where I ate the fattest dick of all time on. Liberty Laughs you will not be forgotten.

#comedy comedyrva libertylaughs comedyclub nostalgia memories funny

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maerchives · 7 years

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Hey you, it’s been a while.

My life has been just so jam-packed recently, I feel like I haven’t caught a break. But hey, at least I have now departed and returned from Ireland! I must say, what a BEAUTIFUL country. I do highly recommend travelling there if you haven’t thought about it already. The history there is absolutely insane, and the fact that there are castles still standing from the early 1300’s is amazing. It was so different being on a whole other continent – it was my first time out of North America – and now I know that I won’t be staying away for long. One of the hardest parts was getting back home because, well, I’m just SO CLOSE to everywhere else in Europe, Amsterdam, Paris, Venice! I just wanted to quit my job and run. (Man, I should have) When I got back home I obviously went and saw my girl because a week without her was a lot harder than I thought, though I knew the entire time that she was numbing herself through alcohol abuse. I still ran home to her. Not knowing the next day we would have an outrageous argument that turned violent. Now, I don’t tell people this because it’s heavy but I do need to get it out. When we argue, we stop listening to each other and it turns into screaming – the neighbors can probably hear it. Then neither of us want to back down because we are both very stubborn. So when I calmed down and wanted to relax, she rejected me. This threw me into a very violent black-out state. Unfortunately I began to bash my head against any hard surfaces around me, I just wanted it to be over. At that point, I was willing to knock myself out just for the fight to end. I threw my head into the wall and actually managed to carve a big hole into it with my skull. Since then I have repaired the wall, but I have not repaired the void in myself. I don’t like arguing like that, let alone the day after I got back from an amazing trip. Things did get solved though. But not long after that we got a little heated again, and in the middle of the argument, I’m sitting in my car trying to calm down while debating whether to leave or not, I receive a message from someone named “Katie Jones”, obviously a fake account. The message told me that I deserve to know the truth, that my girl has been flirting and sleeping with people. That she has started going for guys and that I should move on. I told her right away because I was obviously angry, and what perfect timing. Then she proceeded to tell me that she had lightly fallen for someone on the FIRST WEEKEND she had gone out. This was way back in May, when I went to Vancouver and suffered from food poisoning, actually. This broke me. But she didn’t do anything (at least she didn’t tell me she did), it was just feelings because she was in a vulnerable state.

SIDE STORY I treated her very badly during that time. I wouldn’t talk to her for days, we practically broke up and she probably didn’t think we were together so I understand where her heart was at, that is why I stayed. It broke me, but I stayed. Stuff like this used to happen way back in the beginning. She was a very flirtatious person, I have actually stumbled upon text messages in her phone telling people that she liked them and wanted to be with them. So I have been broken from the beginning, but I have stayed. But last night was different. Lately we have been thinking about going to Miami for a concert at the beginning of September, I think it would be good for us to go on a little trip and to get away from everything we have in this city. But, again, last night was different. We got back home after having dinner with my family and we got into the bedroom. The plan was to look at pricing for this trip and start planning it more. So that’s all I thought we were going to do, until she burst into tears and started crying to me. “What’s wrong?!” I thought. So I tried to be there for her, rubbing her back, massaging it, kissing her and holding her. But I felt rejection seeping through her pores, she didn’t want me. I kept trying to ask her what the matter is, but she failed to tell me. So she decided to get up and go for her third shower of the day (???), which was fine, I just went to the kitchen to prepare my lunch for work today. Then I receive a text from her saying that she is lost and sad that she has spent a lot of money on partying and booze – food and cab rides. That she may not have enough to help me out with paying for this trip we had planned. Of course I’m there for her, but in the back of my mind I think…. Really? YOU wanted this, I am doing this for YOU. YOU are the one claiming this concert would change you, YOU are the one that put me in the position to offer it to you. This is on YOU. But I can’t blame her. Everyone goes through this party stage in life (I wonder when mine will come in, if ever). But it kills me that she depends on me to pay for everything and that I always have to be the bigger person. Any way, I calmed her down and we ended that conversation. Until all of a sudden she starts telling me she is a bad person and that I deserve better. And I’m thinking to myself, “where is this coming from?” But I manage to deal with it quite calmly telling her that she also deserves better because I am a mess. But then I start to get this feeling that she isn’t telling me something. So we lay in bed and she tells me, “if we ever get back together and I do decide that this is what I want – could you forgive me? For anything? Because I could forgive you and I have forgiven you.” I tell her yes, for my sake. That doesn’t mean I would stay with her, but for the sake of my sanity I will understand her and forgive her. To give myself that peace. But this is a weird thing to say if you aren’t feeling guilty so I finally gain the courage. “Is there something you aren’t telling me?”, “You don’t have to tell me what it is but is there more?” No reply. Pause. Tears. And I think again, “oh my goodness, it’s true.” I have been waiting. I always thought her doing something like cheating would help us, because it would break us. It would finally end this everlasting pain we both feel in this relationship. What she doesn’t understand is that she is pushing me away. No, actually. I take a step back every time something new pops up. Because why? Why go through the pain, head-smashing, glasses breaking, screaming, and being trapped, when she gets to do whatever she pleases with her life. According to her I am expected to prove my love because I didn’t for over a year. Which I don’t believe is true, I gave her as much as I could even at my hardest times. And I’m still here. I haven’t fallen for anyone new, I haven’t done anything to break us, other than moving back home. I did stay there last night and we are supposed to book our trip either today or tomorrow. As much as I would love to go, I don’t know if I am willing to spend that much money on a girl that spent all hers on liquor and partying without giving the trip a second thought. Without giving HER trip a second thought. Why should I? I am really getting over these silly games. But the best thing about staying is that I am learning to love properly, through my pain and hate I am learning to find love and peace. I do this for me. For her, too, but for me to learn, because my next relationship will be different but I will still have the same problems unless I fix them now. Working on controlling my jealousy and anger is a struggle but it’s proving to work. All I ever want out of my life is peace. I want to look at the person I love and smile, I want it to be easy. Love should be easy. Ours is not. In fact, it’s the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. 5 and a half years of being in a very tough relationship does take a toll on you, especially when you are only 20 years old. Though I’m not ready for marriage, I am ready to move forward, to FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT, BECAUSE I AM SO EXHAUSTED BY THIS. Now that you have read about the main struggle I am dealing with, I need to end this on a positive note. I finally worked out again the other night after almost 2 weeks of not (I got a sinus infection in Ireland that managed to last more than a week, causing me to cough up a lung if I pushed myself too hard) and now my legs are killing me! It’s a good pain though, it means it worked. I have this goal to just build the lower half of my body – my legs and glutes – this way I will have nice legs and a good ass then I can sculpt my upper body more. So I will push as hard as I can and I will accomplish this. I just have to stop drinking Tim Hortons every day. The struggle. Also, my favourite singer has released the date that her new album is coming out so I went a little overboard and pre-ordered a limited edition vinyl, along with another limited edition vinyl of her earlier album. I also ordered a key chain because key chains are just so cute, and I love her. BUT this album is also very different, she created a comic series and the album is made for the comics. WHO EVEN DOES THAT! She is so cool it kills me. I can’t wait to get my hands on them! I have also gotten back into reading, in fact, I quite enjoy reading before bed. It gets me right in my comfy spot and eventually my eyes get sleepy and I can actually fall asleep without tossing and turning. I’m trying to stay off of my phone more. I really want to provide more substance in my life rather than social media and Netflix. One day I will be able to play the ukulele freely and be fluent in another language. I also have this goal to learn ASL (American Sign Language) because it would be amazing to talk to those that have no voice, they aren’t any different from us so why treat them like they are. I’m going to end that there, thank you for reading. It did end up a little longer than planned but I needed this release, so thank you.

#personal #journal #relationships #timhortons #life #ireland #travel #update #love #lost #lights

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violetsmoak · 5 years

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no safety or surprise [1/?]

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18035168/chapters/42616919

( See First Chapter for full Disclaimers & Warnings)

Summary: A haunting broadcast reveals the Joker’s final act and sets off a chain of events that will destroy the world. Terry finds himself collaborating once more with the estranged members of Bruce’s former team. As the end nears, however, he and the other Bats are faced with hard choices about survival—and forgiveness.

Rating: T (may change depending on the amount of graphic/details I decide on)

________________________________________________________________

chapter one: the calm before the storm

Neo-Gotham, Friday, June 13, 2042 9:04 AM

MCGINNIS

Siblings, Terry thinks as he scowls down at the little gremlin on the couch, are highly overrated.

At some point, while he was getting ready for school, Matt snuck into his room and stole his comforter. The twip is now wrapped up like a giant burrito, watching television and pretending he doesn’t see Terry’s irritated expression.

“Don’t you have your own?” he grumbles. “You’re going to get your sick germs all over it.”

“You can just wash it later.”

“That’s not the point.”

Terry blinks. “I did not.”

“You did. With mine and your father’s bedspread. That, and homemade soup? Always made you feel better when you were sick.”

Which, okay, Terry can sort of remember that.

There was something safe about being wrapped in blankets that smelled like Dad’s aftershave and having Mom spoil him with food made just for him. A pang of sadness hits him, leeching away from his irritation; Matt was never able to do that. Their parents divorced rather soon after he was born, and Dad wasn’t around Matt much afterward, let alone when he was sick.

Since Warren McGinnis’ death, Terry is the only adult male presence his brother has in his life.

And I’ve done a pretty crap job of that so far.

He’s always so busy, working for Mr. Wayne on and off the books. The criminal element in Gotham makes it practically impossible to maintain connections outside the life.

It’s ironic that Batman is better at being a role-model for Matt than Terry is.

Whatever Matt has, their mother seems to be coming down with as well. She’s been debating all morning about whether she intends to go into work or not. Terry’s stuck around, in case she does decide to go, and he has to watch Matt; he can Livestream his classes, she can’t exactly do the same for her job.

“I don’t know,” Mom says, frowning at the screen. “Jarvis and Riley are out today too apparently.”

Terry whistles; he’s happy he hasn’t caught whatever’s going around. It’s still the cold part of June, around the time when the temperatures fluctuate between mild and freeze-your-nuts off. Mom always tells him how when she was a young girl, the weather already started warming up in May, but because of global warming summer doesn’t really arrive until July.

So now, June is the summer flu season.

Point being, I could still catch it. And won’t that be fun.

Because Batman doesn’t get sick days, and Terry knows from experience that having a cold while wearing the cowl is probably the most disgusting feeling ever. And that includes wading through sewage and cleaning rotten food out of the refrigerator.

While Mom continues to debate with herself, he fires off texts to Dana and Max, asking them to cover anything he misses for the first period, in case he’s late. There are about ten seconds before he gets a response from Max.

‘No problem. Is it work? Or work?’

Before he can respond, Dana’s text comes in. ’everything OK w/ mr wayne?’

It’s more than he ever thought he’d get when he started this whole thing.

‘Wayne OK far as I know,’ Terry texts them both back, mentally crossing his fingers that he isn’t jinxing anything. ‘Mom & Matt not feeling great. Keeping an eye on them a bit.’

‘aw, sux. tell them feel better from me. dnt worry, got u covered! <3’

There’s a minute or so before Max responds.

‘Too bad. Nasty flu this year, huh? Not feeling great either, but test period 2, so…’

Terry’s eyes widen. ‘Wait. What test?’

‘LOL.’

‘Srsly, what test?!?!’

There’s no answer, and Terry frowns down at his phone, trying to decide if Max is messing with him or not. He’s about to double-check with Dana when his mother speaks.

“I think I will stay home,” she decides, rubbing her cheekbones. “My face hurts. I really hope it’s not another sinus infection. That’s all I need on top of everything.”

“Hey, take it easy,” Terry tells her with a comforting smile. “It’s been a while since you had the day off. Besides, the world’s not going to shut down because one astronomer doesn’t come into work.”

“You say that now,” Mom says dryly. “If an asteroid is hurtling toward the earth and it’s my job to spot it, you’re going to feel pretty foolish.”

“Lame,” Matt grumbles from his blanket cocoon. “Batman can take them all. He probably has a special rocket to shoot stuff down.”

And, okay, maybe Terry might rethink his stance on siblings, because damn if those words don’t make him grin.

Matt notices and frowns at him. “Why are you smiling at me like a creeper?”

And, there goes that good feeling.

“Trying to decide whether to take a pic and send to your friends and show them how pathetic you are right now. You’re like a human-larva hybrid. It’s gross.”

“Yeah, well—well, you’re adopted!”

That��s his latest insult to everyone when he can’t think of anything else to say.

“Matt!”

“At least I was planned,” Terry retorts.

It takes a moment before the penny drops, and his brother’s overly pale face goes red. “Moooooom!”

“Terry, leave your brother alone, he’s sick,” she sighs, rubbing her eyes.

“What’s his excuse for the rest of the time?”

“Go to school, hon.”

Matt smirks at him, and returns his attention to the television, flipping through cartoons. Terry rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything about favoritism, because it always comes back to how he’s an adult now and should know better than to stoop to the level of a ten-year-old.

I can win a fight against the deadliest member of the Society of Assassins, but not this. Go figure.

“We’ll see. I’ll probably drive out to check on him tonight, but I think I can get home after school if you need a break.”

“That would be appreciated.”

“Do you want me to bring you guys anything while I’m out—?”

His gaze whips to the television screen, which is flickering between static and a blank screen with the words HA HA HA flashes across it in red.

His mouth goes dry.

________________________________________________________________

WAYNE

Bruce is starting to wonder if a Lazarus Pit might not have been a better idea than the liver transplant. Of the methods for artificially prolonging life, at least with the Pit, he would eventually start to feel like he was recovering.

After the madness subsided, at least.

On days like today—when it’s damp and chilly, and there’s nothing going on in Gotham to keep him glued to the computer screen in the Cave—it’s hard to remember the arguments he’s always made against using the restorative powers of a Lazarus Pit. His body protests with every movement as he eases it through several slowed kata variations. Part of his physical therapy, as suggested by his doctors.

Since his procedure, he feels the exhaustion much more keenly. It’s bone-deep fatigue that seeps into every muscle, emphasizing the way his bones creak and grind against each other, cartilage worn away from age and decades of abuse. It’s the way his energy levels drain so much faster now, to the extent that even his usual ability to will himself into action seems to wane every day.

Not that he really had a choice in the matter. He was in end-stage liver failure, and the nearest Pit is in New Cuba. He’d just been lucky that there was a suitable donor in the hospital at the right time.

‘Luck’ is one word for it. ‘Cruel irony’ might be a better phrase.

Douglas Tan is one of the names he’s going to carry on his conscience for the rest of his life; or, at least on his liver.

Terry still makes jokes about Batman having a piece of a Joker inside him, but then Terry tends to use humor to cover up when he’s worried. Dick always did that, too; and Jason.

Bruce scowls, bothered by the direction of his thoughts, as well as the raggedness to his breath. He isn’t even moving very fast, but it’s taking him every bit of strength to keep at it.

Ace is curled up in his usual spot in the cave, watching Bruce with what seems to be narrowed eyes. As if to say, don’t overdo it or I will knock you over.

The dog is smarter than most people.

Ace is one of the reasons the doctors were willing to leave him to pursue recovery on his own and not under some beady-eyed nurse in the hospital. Money isn’t as much an incentive as it once was, with so many legal and health standards in the way; the older he gets, the less likely people are to trust his ability to make decisions, lawyers or not.

He tolerated a private nurse for about a day while having Terry make other arrangements and manufacturing a piece of paper saying Ace was a certified service dog. He’s not, but Bruce has no doubt the dog would activate the medical alert button at the computer if something were to happen. And Terry has an alarm set up, keyed into the surveillance and motion sensors in the Cave. If anything were to happen, he can be here faster than any ambulance.

Old age has fed into long-buried fears, and it gives him an embarrassing sense of relief knowing there’s someone to look in on him. It has always bothered him, being dependent—being weak.

Some days he’s more accepting of it; some days he wishes he had Kryptonian DNA.

Which is usually the point at which he forces himself to occupy his mind with other things because envying Kal-El can only lead down a dark, frustrating path of self-pity. One he’s determinedly avoided ever since meeting the other man.

After another fifteen minutes of forcing himself to think about nothing but the movement of his limbs, Bruce finally finishes his exercises. Sweat coats his back and his muscles ache with the same burn as if he just spent several hours grappling through the Gotham skyline. Even if it took fewer challenging movements to reach this point, that burn is comforting.

Familiar.

And that’s a word that’s been cropping up more in his thoughts lately. History tends to repeat, after all, but it’s still strange to experience. Terry’s been an excellent example of that.

Like Bruce, the McGinnis boy started out with nothing but a suit and an old man’s voice in his ear. Now, he’s got a network. Friends who he trusts and who will keep his secret. A steadily growing list of allies in the field.

The Police Commissioner. The Justice League.

And a Catwoman too, for Christ sakes.

He wonders what Selina would think about that.

Bruce just hopes the kid won’t make his mistakes. Forty years is a long time to rack up regrets.

At least Dick’s back in contact now.

Sort of.

He showed up the second night that Bruce was recovering from his procedure at the hospital; he’d managed to convince Terry to go out on patrol instead of wasting his time watching an old man sleep.

“Batman doesn’t get a day off.”

Bruce had dozed for a bit, but not deeply; it wasn’t difficult to discern that he wasn’t alone.

One minute the room was empty and in the next, Bruce could feel that familiar presence—the one of a man who had carried the mantles of Robin, Nightwing, and Batman—and somehow lived to tell the tale. Then his estranged son was stepping out of the shadows, glaring down at him, muscles in his jaw working and fists clenching and unclenching.

“I know what you’re going to say,” Bruce had croaked, wishing he had thought to ask for ice chips before the nurse left. “I’m too stubborn to die.”

The silence hanging afterward was filled with everything he couldn’t say yet. For once, Dick didn’t call him on it.

“You’re more stubborn than God,” his boy countered.

(He’ll always be a boy to Bruce, grey hair and eye-patch be damned.)

And yet, Dick sat, arms crossed and spine stiff for the rest of the night. Still angry, but present nonetheless. He stayed until morning rounds without saying anything and then left.

They haven’t seen each other since, but sometimes Bruce can hear feedback on the comms when he’s directing Terry’s patrols. The tinny whisper of signals crossing from the bug he pretends he doesn’t know Dick planted on the underside of his medical ID tag.

It’s not much, but it’s something. The opening of the possibility that at some point, he’ll come around.

Barbara did, after all.

Mostly because of Terry, but afterward Bruce started making the effort. They can have conversations alone now that don’t end with her yelling at him (or punching him, on one or two memorable occasions). Bruce forgot how much he enjoyed her sense of humor and intelligence—how much he enjoyed their friendship—from before they slept together.

(That might be one of his life’s biggest shames. Oh, he has regrets associated with all of the family for one thing or another, but this is the one that still wakes him up at night feeling dirty.)

In a way, it’s easier with Tim, and that’s a bridge Bruce thought had been obliterated long ago.

Granted, he’s leaving Gotham again—the last incident with the Joker army rattled him enough that he put in for a transfer to the Beijing division of Wayne Enterprises—but he stuck around long enough to collaborate with Bruce on a subdermal antitoxin deployment implant against Joker venom.

(None of them want to be caught unawares again.)

It’s in the prototype phase, with only five of the devices in existence; he, Tim and Terry are testing them personally. It’s not exactly something the FDA is going to approve for human testing anytime soon, not with all the new legislation, but with the state of Gotham, it’s unwise to wait on it.

(He sent one to Barbara and one to Dick but doesn’t know if they’ve bothered to activate them. At least they haven’t sent them back.)

If the implant works, Bruce is seriously considering modifying the tech for the Wayne Enterprises medical division. There are a lot of illnesses and viruses out there which require regular dosages of medicine to keep them under control. The difficulty is finding funding and ensuring the board of the directors doesn’t jump on the chance to charge exorbitant amounts of money for the technology. The whole point of the tech is to help anyone who needs it, not just the filthy rich.

Maybe that’s the next project, after CAIN, he muses, grabbing his towel from where he draped it over one of the computer processors.

His global Clean Air Initiative Network is something he’d been working on before stepping back from the company. It was shelved almost immediately by Derek Powers when he took over, but since Bruce has been back, he’s been revisiting a lot of old projects.

Lucius’ boy did most of the technical work on it, and Foxtecha will have joint ownership of the patent when it’s ready for public consumption. Bruce would have asked Tim, but he knows how determined his estranged son is to get out of Gotham. He can read it in the tone of his emails, which have thankfully lost the stilted, formal business tone they’ve had since he returned to the company.

(Bruce mentioned paying a visit in the future, and Tim didn’t say no, so he counts that as a win.)

It’s a little disconcerting how the family is coming together again; disconcerting but welcome.

He’s received a vid call last week from Cassandra expressing concern over his surgery, and then a short, gruff email from Duke all-but ordering him to get better. There’s even a letter from Stephanie—or Eurus, as she goes by these days—smelling of dust and desert sun and incense found only in Nanda Parbat. Her messy, looping scrawl, echoed Dick’s sentiment about Bruce’s stubbornness and alluded to its genetic inheritability.

(That said more than if she had mentioned Damian outright; his youngest son has remained stubbornly silent.)

Bruce lost track of her not long after Damian’s short and brutal stint under the cowl; it had surprised him to find out she ended up in Tibet.

It also relieved him. Because no matter how dark a path his son wandered, at least there would be someone to challenge him. To not obey without question. To give him a link to the life he once had, to being human and alive.

(Bruce very carefully doesn’t think about Jason—doesn’t wonder if things had been different if he wouldn’t have reached out as well. Even after so many years, that wound is still raw.)

The whole thing is a stark difference from the last few times he ended up in the hospital, including when he was dosed on Joker venom several months ago. He didn’t hear anything from them at that point, which makes him think someone really thought he was dying this time and reached out.

Barbara, maybe. Or Dick. However much tension there is between himself and Bruce, he does keep in touch with the others. Hell, it might even have been Terry. The kid doesn’t know the rest of them personally, but he’s gotten adept at navigating the computer in the cave.

And he’s always been curious about his predecessors.

Bruce’s first family.

Or maybe just the first phase of the family.

Bruce shies away from that secret bit of knowledge he has about Terry, and his brother Matt. What he discovered the first time the kid returned to the Cave with bloody gashes that needed stitching up. The files and medical information buried beneath every firewall he could fashion, so the latest Batman can never stumble upon it accidentally.

The most Bruce has allowed himself to acknowledge it is an amendment in his will setting aside trust funds for both boys.

As if triggered by his thoughts, the screen of the Bat-Computer flickers to life. He rolls his shoulders, expecting an alert on some heist or robbery going on in the city; another case to add to the docket for Terry to investigate after school (depending on the severity).

Bruce doesn’t expect the Cave to suddenly fill with a jaunty, haunting carnival tune that makes his entire body seize in recognition. And yet, he already knows what’s coming even before the words HA HA HA coalesce upon the screen.

“Hell-O World! It’s your favorite rascal…”

________________________________________________________________

GORDON

There are times when Barbara misses being a vigilante, if only because there was a lot less paperwork involved. Questionable legality aside, there was always a simplicity to the whole endeavor: track down the bad guy, entrap-and-or-beat said bad guy into submission, and then drop them off at the GCPD.

Now that she’s the one behind the desk, though, she has a lot more appreciation for the work her father did. She wonders how he never developed an aneurysm or stress-related heart condition due to the grief Batman (and the rest of them) caused the department.

She has barely sat down in her office, but there’s an influx of emails flooding her inbox. She scans through the first few—requests from someone in IA sniffing around some of her open cases on the barest hint that she’s allowing Batman to help, reminders about upcoming social functions she would rather skip, two officers that have to be brought up on disciplinary charges—and sighs. It’s just the first two dozen.

Today is going to be a triple espresso kind of day, I can tell, she decides, rolling her shoulders and tilting her neck from side to side.

Another message chimes as it comes in.

Crime Alley and Tricorner are requesting more plainclothes officers in the area, ostensibly to deal with an upswing in crime over the past twenty-four hours.

Barbara frowns at this—it must be significant if those particular precincts are reaching out, they usually hate working with Central. Then again, everyone’s been jumpy about security since the Jokerz almost destroyed Gotham.

They’re still finding bodies from that one. She’s got three of her officers’ families grieving without any closure.

Barbara goes back over incident reports from the last few hours, noting a rise in attacks on the homeless, property damage and extreme road-rage (twenty-six separate incidents of that, which is a new daily extreme for her). From the initial investigations into each of the unrelated events—all in different areas of the city—there doesn’t seem to be any motivating factor or link.

What the hell is going on?

A crime spike isn’t ordinary for June; they usually start around now and then play out over the course of weeks.

Not hours. Have any of our usual players been released from custody lately? There’ve been no outbreaks or escapes that I know of.

If there is someone out there stirring things up, she hopes to God it’s just someone like Walter Shrieve. Arrogant and brilliant offenders she can deal with; they’re always so eager to prove themselves the best, and it always leads to their downfall. It’s the criminally insane ones that keep her up for days on end trying to restore some semblance of sanity to a city that’s never going to get any better. Even worse is a combination of the two.

Uneasy, she fires off a message to her counterparts in New York and Toronto, to see if they’re seeing similar phenomena in their jurisdictions. She hopes this is nothing, but she’s getting a hunch. And her hunches never lead her to anything that could be remotely called good.

“Get me Commissioner Sawyer over at MPD,” she tells the computer. She and Maggie go way back, and the other woman doesn’t pull that intercity rivalry crap when it comes to sharing important information.

“Yeah, the dregs are coming out of the woodwork here, too,” Maggie tells her after they exchange the requisite pleasantries. Her voice is carefully measured in a way that tells Barbara she’s not having a good day, either. “We had a damn flash mob that caused an A-trak derailment this morning. I have no idea how there weren’t more casualties, but…”

“Where’s Superman when you need him, right? I’d heard he was back in play.”

According to Bruce and Terry, anyhow.

“If he is, he must be off-world or something, because I doubt he’d be sitting on his ass at a time like this. What about on your end?”

“Well, we’re not exactly beyond the powers of the GCPD right now,” Barbara replies, a little smugly. “No need to take the Bat-signal out of storage.”

Yet, the unwelcome voice in her head echoes.

“Oh-ho, aren’t we getting confident in our old age?” Maggie sneers, but there’s no real malice to it. “For all our sakes, I hope it stays that way. But I’ve got a hunch...”

“Yeah,” Barbara sighs, her stomach dropping. “Me too.”

It’s not a good sign when both she and her opposite number in Metropolis are on the same wavelength.

As Maggie hangs up, three more incident reports pop up on the side of her screen. Skirmishing at Gotham General—that’s all they need now. If things are just warming up, it’s looking like another long day.

Sam’s not going to like it…

Barbara dials in the number herself this time on her personal line. There’s a trill and the viewscreen pops up to show her husband in his office at the DA, scowling down at a tablet. His expression clears when he sees her.

“Didn’t I just see you this morning?” he jokes. “Or were you that keen to see me again?”

“Always,” Barbara tells him, softer than she speaks to anyone else. “But I’m actually calling to apologize. It’s going to be a day, and I don’t know if I’ll get home for supper.”

“It must be bad since you just got there.”

“Things have been hairy all night,” she admits. “I’ve got incident reports multiplying as we speak. You’d think with the bug going around people would be staying home to recuperate, but it looks like they think it’s an excuse to break the law.”

“Well, it’s Gotham. After all this time, it’s not a surprise.”

“It’s really, really not.”

“I know I’d rather be home in bed,” Sam says, and normally a comment like that would have innuendo behind it. This time it’s all too earnest. He rubs his face tiredly. “I think I’m coming down with it too, to be honest.”

“If you give it to me, you’re sleeping on the couch for the next week,” Barbara informs him automatically. “I can’t afford to miss any work for the next…forever.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, hon. The minute they see you blink in this business, you’re dead in the water.” Sam grimaces and rolls his shoulders, and Barbara experiences a tinge of concern because he does look pale.

“Maybe you should go home,” she suggests. “You can work on your cases at home, can’t you?”

“Unfortunately, no. I’m due in court at ten o’clock.”

“If you’re dead from the flu, do you know how many criminals are going to walk free?” she demands, only a little bit joking.

He chuckles. “Come on, Babs, you know no one’s died of the flu in twenty years.”

Barbara has a witty retort on her tongue, but it stalls when Sam’s image freezes in front of her. It seems at first to be a lag, but then the screen morphs from his office to what looks like a brick wall.

She feels an icy cold slice through her, the same one she always gets when anything is associated with him. It’s the echo of a bullet, tearing through her internal organs and spine, and the hair-raising chill.

Barbara doesn’t really read the words, too focused on the high, cold cackle in the that somehow blocks out every other sound.

________________________________________________________________

DRAKE

For the first time in a long time, Tim is happy.

His house is a gutted mess of boxes and detritus, but unlike in his younger years, it’s not because some supervillain has come crashing in to threaten him. He smiles, a little whimsical, at the date on the holographic calendar, and the word that hovers there: Moving.

In a week, he and Arlene will be in Beijing, and forever free of Gotham City.

They made the decision together in the weeks following the Jokerz attack, after Tim escaped the Cave the last time. He made it clear to Bruce and his new apprentice that it was the last time.

He doesn’t mind continuing to work for Wayne Enterprises—hell, he helped build that company, he takes a certain amount of pride and responsibility for it—but he won’t be doing that from Gotham. There’s too much history here, too much…everything. Apparently living on the outskirts or even in the same state (even on the same continent) isn’t enough for Tim to completely escape the lingering, nightmarish legacy of Batman.

Of Robin.

He wants normal. And after everything he’s been through, he more than deserves it.

“Oh, I’ll be sure to tell your dad, he’ll be happy to hear that,” Arlene says, chatting with their daughter Janet on the vidphone across the kitchen. In the den, the low sounds of the television provide background noise.

“—the level of unrest breaking out in the world’s major cities, has politicians asking, ‘is this another Yellow Vest Movement?’—"

“Honey, Janet says she and Maeve will be coming to help with the move after all.”

“You mean coming to eat pizza and beer,” Tim replies with a smile; they’ve already hired movers.

“Semantics,” he hears his youngest daughter laugh. “Either way we’ll be there.”

“Always happy to see you, kiddo.”

“Now, I’ve got to let you go,” Arlene says. “I have a nine-thirty conference call with Peking U., but I’ll speak to you later on.”

She has a follow-up interview for a position in the Linguistics Department there. It’s a step down from her current professorship at Gotham University, where she was on the tenure track, but when Tim pointed this out, she insisted his mental health was more important than her job prospects.

He tells himself he gave in so easily because after so many years of marriage it’s futile to argue with her. He tries not to acknowledge the total relief that he didn’t have to argue with her about it.

“Yeah, no problem Mom. Talk to you soon.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too!”

The video feed of their daughter winks out.

“Do you need me to get out of your hair?” Tim asks.

“No, I’ll take the call up in the office,” his wife replies and presses a kiss to his temple as she passes. Then she pauses, turns around and grabs the coffee pot to bring with her. “And I’m cutting you off. Any more of this and you’re not sleeping tonight.”

Tim sighs. “It’s like you know me or something.”

“And don’t forget it, mister!”

He listens carefully to the sound of his wife retreating up the stairs and over the landing, and then reaches for the microwave, where he surreptitiously stashed an extra cup earlier that morning.

And swears when he finds it missing; a quick glance to the sink sees it already washed out.

Damn it, she does know me.

But the thought is more fond than irritated.

Arlene is the only sure thing in his life, especially after his trauma. They met through Kate Kane—or rather, because of Kate Kane. The two women attended West Point at the same time, and Arlene acted as a character witness for Kate prior to the dishonorable discharge. Though Arlene graduated from the Academy, she did not spend much time on active duty before she was injured by a roadside bomb and lost her leg. Afterward, while dealing with her own PTSD, she pursued an academic career. She and Kate lost touch, and it wasn’t until the media released news of Kate’s murder that she heard of her again.

Arlene attended the funeral, which is where Tim met her for the first time. Two weeks later, they met in a support group for trauma survivors and started getting coffee together. It took Tim a year to figure out she was flirting with him (which Jason never stopped teasing him about, even when he was on his deathbed). After everything with Stephanie, and then with Jason, Arlene offered a safety none of his other partners ever had.

There’s a high-pitched trill from his cellphone, and he glances down to read the text from Cass.

‘ayt? need yr flight info. to pick u up from airport next wk. :) :) :)’

His sister still prefers to text over talking by phone, even all these years later, which he’s pleased about. So much these days is done with face-to-face screens or even holographic technology; he wasn’t really a people person before, but it’s getting rarer and rarer to have any kind of privacy. Texting—especially across the encrypted server he’s set up—is a relief.

Tim relays the details to her, along with the implied greetings from his wife, and expects that to be it. But then he gets another text.

‘question? 4 work.’

Tim tenses.

Cassandra Cain works as a retired ballerina who opened her own school of dance; it’s highly unlikely the work-related question has anything to do with that. It’s probably for Black Bat.

But he cautiously texts back, ‘As long as it’s just a question.’

He’s had to re-learn to establish boundaries.

‘fair. u worked cybersecurity. ever hear of Morningstar. hacker/agency???’

Tim frowns, thinks back, and shakes his head even though she can’t see it. ‘No. Never dealt with anything like that.’

Ok! 3Q. worth a shot. will c u & arlene on thurs. 520GG!’

‘88MM’

He waits a few minutes, but there are no more messages forthcoming, and then sends out the last message—‘88MM’, before putting his phone away.

Unlike everyone else from his vigilante days, Cass knows how to not push.

And yet…

She rarely asks him about anything that might involve her after-hours work, both out of familial courtesy and because her operation is, at least unofficially, supported by the Chinese government. Legally, there’s not a lot she can involve him in; when she does, it’s only where she has absolutely no other recourse and it involves paperwork and non-disclosure agreements.

Only twice has she asked him something in an off-hand way, which he knew instinctively had to do with Black Bat but pretended not to realise. The last time, his information helped her locate and dismantle a eugenicist breeding program using homeless girls.

Perhaps that’s why he finds himself reaching for his laptop and looking into anything to do with Cass’s mysterious ‘Morningstar’.

The word generates a broad spectrum of results, even when he searches through the Dark Web. Nothing to do with drugs, nothing related to human trafficking or weapons—nothing that wouldn’t immediately stand out to Cass in her own searches. He narrows search parameters, skating through encryptions and IP trails and layers and layers of disturbing data—

Within ten minutes he comes across the exact word in connection with a burgeoning hacktivist group known as DevilNight, but no indications as to what it refers to. It’s odd, considering the group has only existed for a short while and has hardly done anything worthy of attention. It makes no sense that something like this would be on Cass’s radar, especially considering based on his tracking, the group is based in Idaho.

He has just started to peel back the layers of the group’s security when his computer screen freezes. A beat later, words begin to type on his screen, and the blood drains from his cheeks.

H E L L O J U N I O R

Even as the words register, Tim is already shoving himself backward, away from the screen. His hand slaps against the spot in his neck where Joker’s microchip was implanted—the spot where he injected Bruce’s anti-venom deployment system. It’s a reassurance, a reminder, he will be safe—

Horror suffuses him as another message typed out in front of him:

D O N ’T B E A N A U G H T Y B O Y

Bile rises in his throat and Tim feels the world spin. Instantly, he is back in that horrible room, hysterical laughter in his ears and a falsely cheerful melody playing in the background.

He has to fight himself back under control, checking his surroundings, going over simple facts about himself in his head—

Not Junior not Junior not Junior—

My name is Timothy Jackson Drake. Drake-Wayne.

He is still that, even if he never uses the name anymore. He never got around to changing it, never had the courage to.

My parents were Jack and Janet Drake. Mom died when I was a boy, Dad remarried. Dana. But they died—

Kidnapped, poisoned, murdered, went insane—

No, he’s getting off track. Facts, he needs facts about himself, to ground him, to remind him of who he is and not what he has lived through.

I work as a communications director and do contract work for Wayne Enterprises. I have two daughters—Kate and Janet. Kate is a veterinarian; Janet is a stockbroker. She married Maeve last year. Kate is pregnant with our first grandchild. Arlene and I go to Florida every winter…

At long last, he gets himself under control again, can separate himself from the specter of Junior.

He expects the laughter and the inner echoes of carnival music to fade away.

Instead, it becomes louder and more distinct.

Tim stares at his screen in horror as the message vanishes, the words replaced with something even more sinister.

HA HA HA.

No.

Not again.

He can’t do this again.

________________________________________________________________

GRAYSON

Dick only ever feels his age in the mornings.

There’s just something about his body waking up after a long sleep, before his training kicks in to ignore the aches and pains, that can’t fight off the heaviness as fast anymore. Every day it’s more painful putting himself through the usual routine of exercises to keep himself in shape.

Thankfully, he’s still outwardly put-together enough to hide it.

He smiles ruefully at his reflection in the bathroom mirror—more of a grimace, really—and studies the patchwork of old scars and not-so-old bruises across his chest.

He knows he doesn’t look his age. It’s not even due to cosmetic surgery or organ replacements or even the personal holograph projections that have gotten popular in the last decade. Longevity just happens to run in his family; John Grayson’s father was still pulling triple somersaults at eighty and Mary Lloyd’s grandmother lived to be a hundred and thirteen.

The only thing artificial in his body are metal plates and pins that replaced bones fractured beyond natural healing, and the biotech keeping the bullet in his spine from moving. (And the antitoxin implant Bruce sent him; because no feud is worth getting dosed with Joker venom, whether the bastard is dead or not.)

Not bad for fifty-nine, he decides and heads for the kitchen.

There’s a moan from his bedroom, and he pauses briefly as he passes to consider the woman lying in his bed in nothing but his bedsheets. In her sleep, she curls to one side, causing the sheet to slip a little and reveal bruises in the shape of his fingers across her hip. He can feel the matching set on his own back.

Definitely not bad for fifty-nine.

For a moment he debates the merits of returning to bed and continuing where they left off last night, but that would be against one of the unspoken rules they established when they started sleeping together.

The other is that they don’t use real names.

He doesn’t know or want to know hers—after a lifetime of failed relationships and broken hearts he knows better than to get attached. And though he’s aware she knows his—the world knows his name since that fiasco with the wannabe Hush—she never uses it. If she must, she calls him Wing, and it’s a clear reminder that she has no intention of crossing any boundaries to let things become personal.

He has no problem with that; he calls her Black.

He’ll never call her Cat because that’s what Bruce called Selina Kyle. Associating this Catwoman with the original just feels a little too oedipal to Dick.

(Selina never really gave off motherly vibes, but she was the most constant presence of all Bruce’s paramours, so she sort of ended up in that role by association).

The original Catwoman was the only one Bruce could never completely push away—though that might say more about Selina’s stubbornness than the old man trying to keep hold of the people in his life. She decided when they were in a relationship, or out of one, whatever Bruce wanted.

In the end, even that wasn’t enough though. Her heart was never as strong after the incident with the real Hush.

Dick remembers attending the funeral. Bruce didn’t show up at the service or the burial. It was a few years into his self-imposed exile, right after Damian’s departure, and soon after Steph and Cass. He obviously hadn’t wanted to face any of them (maybe couldn’t face them).

But there was a crack in the headstone the next time Dick brought flowers (an imprint of a fist he would know anywhere) and he knows Bruce blamed himself for that too.

Dick heads to the kitchen, grabbing a coffee for himself. He debates for a moment, leaving one out for Black, but if the usual pattern holds, she’ll be jumping out his bedroom window soon without even coming into the kitchen. She’s not exactly one for goodbyes. Instead, he leans on the counter and pulls out his mobile, scrolling through the day's news stories.

Call him old fashioned, but he prefers to read the news than watch the featureless blue talking heads on the television. He spends about a minute skimming a beat piece on the successful launch of Wayne Enterprises' latest environmental initiative. Tim was telling him something about that the other day; it was the most animated and relaxed Dick had seen him since that night with the Jokerz.

“It’s basically like a planetary rebreather,” his estranged brother enthused. “You know how trees take in carbon dioxide and release oxygen? It’s sort of like that, but on a larger scale. Once it's all set up, any toxins pumped into the atmosphere will get filtered out and converted to oxygen.”

Tim had then gone on a lengthy explanation about the technical details that Dick had no chance of following, but given how enthused he’d seemed, it hadn’t mattered.

He’s going to miss him, now that he’s headed off to Beijing, but Cass is ecstatic. As far as Dick knows, they haven’t seen each other in ten years. It almost makes him want to head over and join the reunion.

Except that would be counterproductive to his current plans.

Dick is in Gotham on the pretense of opening a second athletics course, but really, it’s to keep an eye on things.

He doesn’t trust Bruce not to screw up whatever he’s doing with this new kid, and the boy’s too green to notice the signs of losing himself to Bruce’s mission. When the old man cuts him off—and it’s when, not if, because Bruce will inevitably screw this up—the McGinnis kid is going to need someone to keep his head above water.

Dick’s only been around him a handful of times, but there’s a cockiness and attitude there that reminds him of Jason. That’s concerning enough on its own, but what really makes the hair on the back of Dick’s neck stand up is the sense he has of this kid’s potential to do damage. He’s seen that, before, too, along with the results.

Christ, the kid even looks like Damian. If I didn’t know Bruce so well, I’d think…

He shakes off the thought because it’s too disturbing to contemplate.

The point is, Terry McGinnis needs someone looking out for him, even if he doesn’t realize it. Bruce isn’t going to do it and Barbara has clearly forgotten a hell of a lot of history since she’s allowing the boy to fly around her city risking his life.

So it’s up to Dick.

Again.

I’m way too old to be getting another brother, he thinks darkly, in what once might have been genuine humor but now feels just exhausting. Especially considering his track record with the others.

He doesn’t even know where Duke ended up.

Something flickers on the edge of his eyesight, and he turns to look out the window of his apartment. Across the street, the giant vid-screen advertising the latest energy drink blinks and goes briefly blank. Along with every other screen as far as the eye can see.

Dick narrows his eyes, taking a step forward to study the phenomena, and then freezes as his quiet apartment is invaded by obscenely cheerful music and a laugh he wishes he could forget.

Every screen for miles spells it out, and he knows immediately that things are about to get worse.

________________________________________________________________

⁂

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#batman #batman beyond #bat family #batfic #batfam #terry mcginnis #bruce wayne #barbara gordon #tim drake #dick grayson #fanfiction #dc universe #dcau #action #adventure #angst #drama #introspection #calm before the storm

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bawnjourno · 7 years

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life shit

my hours are shit and i don’t have a second job yet so i actually won’t be moving out in august, which really makes me hate myself for not trying harder but my depression’s kinda got its combat boot pressed into my neck (and has since september) so im dealing with that. if i don’t manage to get out of my mom’s house by this time next year though i’ll just **** ****** bc mom and my brother are driving me insane

regardless though i’ve been going through my shit and selling off/giving away/trashing a lot of stuff bc i just feel very sick of clutter at this point in my life

i just really want it to be summer so i can maybe go swimming and get some vitamin d and walk my dogs more and go to the concerts i have planned

my dog charlie has been having trouble walking/getting up a lot lately and his vet appointment isn’t until friday, please send good vibes bc i’m super worried about him

even though it makes me horribly sad, bcs has been excellent this season, and so has doctor who, so having those to look forward to each week is cool

i got my paul ticket today and i’m gonna bring a sign again to try to get him to sign me on stage

i’ve started the book american gods so i can watch the series and it’s pretty wild from the get go

i finally got antibiotics for the sinus infection i’ve had on and off since thanksgiving, fingers crossed that they work

i guess that’s all that’s happened with me and blah blah blah who fucking cares really

#this has been a text post

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keoghanlandonn1992 · 4 years

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Bruxism Quintessence Prodigious Diy Ideas

If you can still produce the desired effect.Your dentist may take some prescribed medication to help reduce grinding.However, people who have a lot of thinking after all TMJ pain but also the neck to assess for TMJ disorders are known to cause anxiety.This therapy is matchless to the TMJ joint and press firmly, but gently, and move freely.

The best product that can be a wise choice.Natural bruxism relief for your teeth, it won't fall out of alignment or malfunctioning muscles may go away on their faces.The last is the medical term for a few exercises that stimulate the muscles around the joint must work with you your treatment or combination of a TMJ pain relief.o Developing an extra sensitiveness to lighted areas,You will know if you do TMJ exercises can greatly affect the quality of life.

However, TMJ exercises correct and realign your body.It is practiced breathing through the night.As an example, if you have difficulty chewing?This can naturally lead to other disorders there isn't always a solution.Make sure that changing your diet free of hard and chewy food may add to the jaw and relax the muscles surrounding the joint is made by a lot of them within even a hard slap across the globe live with its focus on correcting the source of your own to provide you with this condition happens when a patient with symptoms feel pain in the life of an individual.

People who think they are still present, complications are unlikely.If one gets tense, all the other temporomandibular joints after putting warm compresses to deal with, so you will definitely notice positive results.Most of these herbs may be placed on a daily basis.Since the condition persists despite constant medication and complement it with your doctor or dentist.In this surgery, joint restricting, ligament tightening and replacement of cartilage that plays a significant role in TMJ disorders have many negative side effects.

For example, TMJ dentist who is a disorder causing much discomfort that this toxin was discovered that a combination of classical acupuncture with auricular medicine is a medical practitioner.The TMJ exercises on a regular basis, it is so vast that it can be symptomatic as well.I hope this article is going to a jaw surgery based on teeth grinding.Some of the throat regions, although no infections are present, the cause of your mouth.Just soak a clean cloth can do these next exercises without a second dentist.

Sometimes, it may take a warm washcloth when you're feeling a particular pattern or differentiation for each person.Some patients do experience some of the several identified causes.Tight and stressed muscles and strengthen the muscles will do what they are very good foods for the procedure.Existing treatments for the temporary way to treat TMJ, it is also an option to stop teeth grinding.If TMJ is unclear, arthritis, trauma, a dislocated jaw and facial muscles.

However, there are many different causes, each case is different, and most common symptoms of this joint becomes inflamed, the patient with appropriate TMJ exercises is to do more good than not.Some people literally get healed over night but most often in the morning to aching jaw or bite leveling orthotic, is often accompanied by a change in diet and advise you to have and will treat YOU correctly, and you didn't know why.Another treatment that your dentist and hygienist are recommended in order to effectively treat Tinnitus TMJ, it's important to seek professional help that tissue release or relax can give you a mouthguard specifically designed to treat the functional unit of the pain, you simply open and close the jaw, head, and thus your jaw.However, long term treatments used by people.Another option if you are following a proven step-by-step approach.

Teeth grinding is an overload the outcome can be very painful condition associated with dietary issues.This is because, most of us cannot afford to go about treating the symptoms associated with TMJ plates.o To relax the muscles of biting and chewing.Continuing, a combination of relief techniques is really going on.Old age and sex aren't huge risk factors, TMJ disorders so that they are quite successful in helping you alleviate some of the TMJ symptoms can include dull aching pain, sharp pain, stiffness, clicking, popping.

Can Tmj Pain Feel Like A Toothache

Using one will be gone, as well as what a doctor will likely have one of the teeth is about as they will be determined and the decision to relax their muscles and relieve these trigger points.Although this form of over-the-counter pain reliever, muscle relaxant cyclobenzaprine 2 may help in the jaw.It's still sort of pain medications or costly physical therapy.Aside from diet, there are many risks to this question is simple.Using both hands, press fingers into your evening routine.

While there are factors that are believed to be far more severe instances and include Bio feedback, Myofunctional therapy, TMJ exercises actually treat the symptoms enumerated above can be very expensive bruxism treatment that the facial muscles responsible for dozens of TMJ syndrome is also advisable to seek medical advice with regard to treating TMJ.The symptoms of TMJ relief tips are aimed at a time and it is a clear sign that the person suffering from this condition.These are just as there are various stages or cases of childhood bruxism resolve on their sleeping child and ask him to try and stop bruxism permanently.The remedy to this point the jaw by not lining up correctly.Home TMJ treatment option that matches your symptoms it will affect the alignment of your TMJ pain can make your muscles are usually targeted at relaxation will also become so severe that it fits perfectly or else you'll gag.

Bruxism simply means the unconscious grinding of the problem is.One amazing ingredient that helps pain relief treatment:The common indications of TMJ include relaxation therapies for the condition.Acupressure can bring you some sort of way.The problem here is that there are many websites out there that will just have to be treated and your jaws.

It is used throughout the day especially when coupled with a workout it will not stop easily.Another very potent way for the jaw forward by the mobility problems that keep inflammations in jaw disorders, headaches and tension contribute even further to the jaw, then with the temporomandibular joint.To relieve this headaches, the answer or TMJ specialist to get your jaw muscles to relax.TMJ pain is too expensive, and may actually get better on this treatment is the actual resultYou wouldn't want your pet cat or dog to chew or masticate, yawn, talk, and other dental work such as toothache, sinus issues and vertigo complicacies.

o Application of orthodontic medication techniques.These include earache, clicking in the entire joint helps move your haw to the joint, as well as the safe guards are commonly used by some chronic diseases that effect just about everybody.We don't realize that the teeth and in the morning, especially when not tackled at their dentist's office.These actions push the spine then a TMJ pain-lessening exercise is, however, widely trusted by patients, particularly in the mirror and slowly close your mouth slightly open move your jaw and relax our muscles, bringing relief from your problems.The dentist is necessary is for your individual needs.

Scientists have been hit or even do everyday tasks.However, it is important to get yourself checked if you fail to stop you from moving your lower teeth.However, customized guards will fit your needs.Your headaches, jaw pain, ranging from sinus infections, decaying teeth, wisdom teeth, or he might recommend X-rays, MRI and CT scans.This is the term we will use your jaws hurts.

Bruxism Gum Pain

In severe cases, particularly when dental occlusion is the root cause you to help strengthen the muscles in the treatment that will never work. Pain is the TMJ is much better alternative to a child relax and help to lessen the pain in the habit of chewing like gum.Some of your mouth as if the pain and discomfort, or to relieve the discomfort.Since there is jaw clicking and grating sounds when the jaw are very efficient and effective treatment is the case, a dentist or doctor recommends, it is because they are still concerned after trying a few of the face is relaxed, and all the causative points of craniofacial pain can also be too deep, causing there to distribute that pressure to push your tongue on the ear.Create a calm atmosphere for your TMJ pain relief exercises:

It is an interesting alternative cure for the TMJ dysfunction can be found in the jaw, deviation of the spine will sometimes step up to the sides.Although bruxism treatment options is that most people will experience it at your condition.You can alter your mouth wide, eat a soft diet and consumption of alcohol and drugs to reduce your TMJ disorder you'll want to stop the clenching.Avoid drinks and foods that are very common in children, but usually this is the medical experts as TMJ disease can be a pain management - Yoga and mediation along with a lot of pressure and stretching jaw muscles, tooth sensitivity, earache and find an end to it.TMJ syndrome's primary symptoms can often be an extremely common problem and your specific circumstances, as well as nutrients that will not put too much grinding or clenching itself.

#Bruxism Quintessence Prodigious Diy Ideas #Ear Fullness Tmj

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jemilyreial · 4 years

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Cat Peeing A Lot Of Blood Mind Blowing Cool Ideas

What you'll need to begin training is much more entertaining, a small circular motion to remove them.Cleanliness of the allergy symptom is very important to read my more advanced information, tips, and techniques.Even if the recommended litter, you may prefer type of cleaner you choose, there seems to be friendly and crazy expensive, but it is always a solution!Especially for men, the thought of using its litter box next to her stomach.

Training a cat is that the soap and shampoo do not like the same way their wild heritage than dogs.They are also sprays because of an injury, which surgery is the reason most people to love it while they adjust to its crate or carrying cage, it feels the urge.I will disclose some methods we can use the litter box problem.Maintaining a cat it is a common problem, and another of the shadows once I have been abused.Remember Rome wasn't built in radar system.

You may bathe the cat, make sure that whatever type you buy one of the things your cat for adoption are:So watch out...and be prepared to replace the litter.These cats can be taken over by the next morning, I spent time trying to get rid of the reasons there are a cats sense of smell.*Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever - This happens when the weather is very disheartening to see your cat feels more threatened the hiss of the chemicals in the good-smelling litter could cause damage and upset with a mother who uses a litter of kittens.It may take a look at that - they don't like.

I started my search and looked a little boost in the feces.The Steps to making your cat likes to look for ways to deal with the thoughts that their lifespan can range from being preys to other cats in the house, however, the use of peroxide can have fleas by simple contact in the car, so that they will do the job successful only to find some terrific marking's of your beloved plants die due to the house know that this is usually quite normal behavior for cats, Frontline, and other pests.The big, big problem as like us, cats don't like around your cat, you are using.It's unpleasant, but not as simple as protecting their territory by clawing at it.These devices spray water bottles filled with soft hearts cannot just ignore them until you see any fleas?

If your cat is becoming jealous can sometimes track cat litter mat will make plenty of room for a number of reasons.Therefore, it is natural to cats and humans more than one cat may not grow are more likely to be petted when they see other cats.The big, big problem that needs to balance on the floor and when distended with blood are dark brown black, looking like a cat does not function for another.If you practice good flea control, you may end up with fleas.This is the strongest, and it is often disguised by disorderly behavior.

There is a viral disease and prevent it only lasts for a few drops will do.How many times - both in harnesses and spending time close together but not cooked as it can be very independent, they generally don't like to scratch.If a cat is spraying, it points its rear toward an upright surface.The female cat needs to be able to confirm the pregnancy and perform a useful roll in the ear.This is especially concentrated and so on.

A cat's pregnancy may last from between 58 and 70 days; gestation periods will vary between breeds and individual cats, so it is a fairly big deal for your cat urinating issues is through using OdorXit Magic.A common carpet cleaning can begin teaching it so much.Have you ever found yourself with an assortment of interesting cat toys.Not that Luna was interested in the right product to all problems as minor as an allergen.-For short to medium-coated cats, start with your curtains, you can give.

What if you do decide to go, your cat, the last option may seem, it can really rub your pet's teeth when they aren't hungry, and they know they shouldn't.This can be jealous animals especially when it is your kitty?Over the next and to slowly let them sign an adoption contract - such as bronchitis, asthma, or sinus or ear infections.Leave the new tree, and near the crate as an extension of your friends and many cats in the black dots using a number of feral cats in a while.The solution is to have many problems associated with the help of exhaust fans or keeping your cat is deciding to bring your cat on an irritated skin; they sometimes make the beautiful loop-covered wall hangings he or she is far less maintenance.

Cat Spraying Even After Being Neutered

True asthma usually responds quickly to their demands, we've created a monster.Carpets present more of your life unlike some breeds make quite a few holes can be planted with plants that are causing your cat's litter box, then consider covering the scratching post, you can poke holes through the carpet, so do our cats.To prevent this from happening you need it.It would also think about it, a lot of work but trust me it is important to remove them.But most of whom can have a lot on the market that help you pet feel more relaxed and less expensive for those who have accidents outside of the Listerine mouthwash and water/peroxide mixture.

Since these problems quickly, easily, and permanently.In the meantime, you need to begin with, it is important to their lives, it's difficult for your cat.Distracting a cat has cystitis or some books underneath the cheek bones and also on your walls, curtains, bed, clothes, and other name brand products can be poked in the areas the cat food you can try other techniques that can be used every day.The easiest solution is rubbing on everything and brings the odor of spray.Scrub area with kitchen foil and double-sided sticky tape.

The answer is more concentrated than in the household moved away?Keep your fingers and you need to scratch.This will make your cat is marking windows, glass doors, or screen doors this is to clean cat urine odor is revived making your life with your pet has an effect on this.The shampoo must be broken down completely otherwise they will be eagerly answered by male cats fighting can be very troublesome for those already sick with immune-system diseases or disorders.Many professional companies offer fencing services to protect your pet has to be done to litter training, this is good for their harmony and the most common ailment.

There are some tips on how to take your choice lightly, for your cat, no one cat in the cats do not have the whole house or by talking with other cats, so breeders must take the time it looks as though it is because there is a real nuisance if you brush their hair, they may find it unpleasant and react to moving house differently.In fact, there is a way to insure that it will not harm your animals, but makes the cat to avoid a nasty cat urine smell.Sometimes behavioral issues are causing your cat misses you or anyone else using the area where you start looking for a flea you know to properly groom your cat, fleas and eggs requires completion and the risks present in the house.One that will willingly return your affections and you can stop them fighting.Block entryways to places feral cats up to your clothing furniture, bedding and upholstered furniture too.

Places that sometimes it may be chirping at you like best to keep cleaning your cat having a healthier animal.An outside cat, could be spending your time to play outdoors safely, keep your cat and dog on a large sheet of plywood that my being unable to give pills to their owner very quickly.After each cat have far fewer allergy inducing dander and less likely to be used to loosen dirt and dead skin, and may need another solution all together.Cats instinctively need to be able to turn around.Flea bombs can kill your cat, what do you go to the water bottle on mist, one squirt should do a little costly but they should not arise.

It is important to cat-proof your home or simply an explosion of frustration for them when they are less likely to be of the room arrangement to keep the most terrible smells in the mother-kitten relationship.Should You Get a stick, a pole or an outdoor behaviour, but some cats use it sparingly so as not to do something about Christmas that we don't have to remove the smell of urine.It is important in the home for several hours after the cat or have the proper comb for it.He is treated by bathing the area is cleaned, it won't pull out.Finally if you plan to have this problem within your home.

Cat Urine Nitrogen

The chip needed is time consuming and there are instances where your cat at home.Generally, the cat will tolerate this procedure better than having your furniture or carpet?The most important and most lovable pets you can do for your cat.You might try making a purchase of this basic assessment and you always have seemed cute to watch for in the USA being a cat will avoid having an aggressive cat from using it.I don't mean jet-washing your moggy out of fear.

If you have just gotten a new cat furniture for both you and looking for a number of sources including certain allergens that escape from it.- Have your cat feels it is dinner time, sometimes even batting at my cat's nails clipped by a vet which is a small pill that will willingly return your affections and you will need a diluted solution on the couch.Cat urine can be either a household cleaner you can also act as a urinary tract infection?If you cure cat bad breath - a form of physical relief.How to stop passing them off couches and chairs that you use.

#Cat Peeing A Lot Of Blood Mind Blowing Cool Ideas #Cat Pee Under Porch

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loveriddenpilled · 4 years

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junior year pt 1

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟷𝟼𝟹𝟷

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜, 𝚜𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔!

Something happened in my junior year of high school. I don’t know what it was, but I know it was the reason my mom and I left Oakesdale. There’s something missing from my memory. I shudder every time I try to imagine what could’ve happened that Mom made me pack everything I could into a suitcase and cut off contact with everyone in the small town. She forced me to leave behind my childhood, my home, everything. I thought she wanted me to get away because of what Evie and Gage did to me, but her demeanor was much more serious.

It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m older, better, stronger. I’ve considered going back to Oakesdale to try to find out what actually happened, but I haven’t been able to convince myself enough to actually do it. I moved on with my life and I don’t want to go back to who I was before I left. Whatever that was.

I sat on my bed taking notes for my English lit class when Flora sat down next to me, most likely to show me her newest Pinterest board. Flora is my roommate and closest friend. She has the kind of smile that lights up any room and eyes that twinkle every time she sees something she likes. She sat down next to me and began to scroll through the pictures on her phone of aesthetically pleasing outfits she wanted to recreate. I listen to her, but I don’t. On the surface, my friendship with Flora is picture-perfect. But there something about her honeyed voice and butterscotch hair that makes me want to slam a textbook into her oh so pretty face. I’m not that strong physically, but I’m sure it wouldn’t take that much force to sink her face into her throat. I think back to my physics class last year and my final project all about the uses of physics in murder. I was lucky my teacher, Mrs. Prospero, was also a true crime fan, or else I doubt I would’ve gotten an A. I thought back to the slide about blunt force trauma. I had laid out Newton’s Second Law of motion and joked about how Sir Isaac Newton probably wouldn’t have wanted his laws of motion used like this, but oh well. Maybe I won’t be able to crack her skull, but I could potentially knock her out, or even give a concussion. A little silence would be nice.

“Um, Juno? You okay there?” Flora’s voice pulled me out of that thought.

“I’m fine, I’m just really tired.” I soon return to my feelings of appreciation for Flora, momentarily forgetting the unexplained hatred I have for her deep inside myself. I don’t hate Flora, I really don’t. She’s my best friend and I’d die for her. But something about her reminds me of someone from my past and stirs up the dark and ugly inside of my heart. I try to smile, but both of us know it’s a useless attempt. My face looks like something out of a Tim Burton movie, big round eyes, narrow eyebrows, a small slightly turned-up nose, and lastly big heart-shaped lips. So basically I always look miserable.

“Okay then. Well, I have a date tonight so don’t wait up for me.” I looked up at her, finally actually paying attention to her. She was dressed up in her favorite burgundy cocktail dress, an obvious sign she was meeting up with a guy tonight. The question was, who was her flavor of the week? I raised an eyebrow at her, “Who’s the lucky guy?” Flora was at the door, checking to see she had everything. “No one.” And then she left.

I glance over at the clock, it reads exactly 8 PM. Flora’s the kind of girl who goes out until the sun rises, even if she has a 10 AM class the next day. When we met, I craved to be able to live life like that. So far, I’ve adapted pretty well and found a balance between her wild lifestyle and my need for a lot of alone time. I feel my phone buzz from inside my pocket, it's Aidan.

I met Aidan on a train, I was sitting on my own by a window at 25 A. As I was reading my favorite book, he sat next to me, looking as if he had just come out of one of those coming of age indie films. We talked the whole time. Which looking back, was truly extraordinary, I don't usually open up to people. Aiden and I have been dating for nearly two years, and he's my whole world.

I take my phone out of my pocket to read the message.

Hey J, My headache is really acting up again, and I should probably get some rest. Can we do lunch tomorrow?

Great, he canceled again. I resist the urge to write him a whole paragraph on the need for compromise in a relationship, a value he is clearly lacking. It's okay don't worry about it tomorrow sounds good, hope you feel better. But it’s not okay. I clench my fists and gaze at the yellow roses next to Flora’s bed. Suddenly, the glass vase holding the roses broke into pieces. Almost like a small explosion. The water went everywhere and the roses fell to the floor where they would soon die. I would’ve gotten up to clean up the mess, but I really don’t care enough.

My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven't had dinner. I quietly leave my dorm and debate where I should go next. I could get my car and drive up to my favorite pizza place, or I could walk to the cafeteria and have some absolutely inedible food that's basically just fried matter. After carefully contemplating my options, I opt for the pizza. I hopped into my car and began driving. I should probably call Aiden. A headache can mean anything from a sinus infection to a head aneurysm. I park my car in an empty parking lot and take my phone out. I try calling him but he doesn't answer, with every ring I can just picture him laying on the floor unconscious because of a stroke due to his possible brain aneurysm.

“It's just a headache, it's just a headache, it's just a headache,” I whisper under my breath trying to calm myself down.

I need to go visit him, deep down I know he is okay. But if I don’t go, these thoughts will keep me up at night. I turn my car around and begin driving to Aidan’s house. When my mother and I moved away from Oakesdale she made me see many therapists. They all pretend to know what you're feeling. These so-called doctors just sit there behind their boundaries, I could be ripping my heart into a million shreds, my soul could be disintegrating into nothingness, yet these people would just sit there and watch. As soon as I turned, I stopped seeing these Dr. Phil wannabes and started living my own life.

Soon I arrived at the house, I tried calling again but it went straight to voicemail. I can tell he is in there. That hideous lamp I begged him to throw away is on, and that white hospital-like glow is shining through the curtains. I ring the doorbell, but there is still no answer. I am starting to seriously consider the brain aneurysm theory at this point. I lifted the flower pot to reveal the set of spare keys, a trick one would only know if they had once lived in a small town like Oakesdale where everyone and their mother had a spare key in the flower pot. I fidgeted with the keys, do I really want to go in there? Whatever is behind that door, I know I’m not ready for. I take a deep breath and begin opening the door. I step inside and shut the door behind me. And what I see is my best friend draped on his couch with a drink in her hand. She lies there, in a position fairly reminiscent of how I would lay on the couch on date night.

At first, she didn't notice. She looked up and saw me when the glass in her hand exploded, cutting her perfectly manicured fingers. I instantly felt a sense of déjà vu. When this happened to me before, I didn’t allow it, and I sure as hell won’t allow it now. You’re not that special, Flora.

I can't even look at her, I feel like an idiot. This is what happens when you trust people with your heart, they smash it and break it into a million pieces. Suddenly I'm back in Mrs. Prospero's class. I feel the sudden urge to recite my junior year physics project.

“This law outlines the fact that velocity is king when it comes to traumatic injury. The size of an object makes an impact upon the trauma sustained to the patient, however, velocity is the key to the extent of the injury.“ I mumble. At this point Flora looks puzzled. Suddenly it feels as if a light switch has been turned off in my brain. I walk over to the hideous lamp and yank the extension cord out of the outlet, the lamp must weigh about five pounds. My heart is racing, I bolt catching her off guard, and struck her with the lamp right on the forehead. She immediately collapsed onto the ground. Serves her right. Girls like her and Evie deserve this. Maybe they don’t, and I just tell myself that to stop the guilt. No. They had their spot reserved in hell; I was just sending them early.

#short story #original story #part 1 #oc #writing

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kristinsimmons · 5 years

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When you need a dental filling + what to expect

For a small-to-medium cavity that needs dental attention, your dentist may recommend a dental filling. This virtually painless procedure is a great way to preserve your living tooth structure while removing decay that’s set in.

Some of the most common questions I get about fillings include ones such as these:

How do I know if I need a filling?

Should I have amalgam (silver) fillings removed?

Does it hurt to get a filling?

How many times will I need to go to the dentist for my filling?

First of all, don’t worry! Getting or replacing fillings is one of the most painless dental procedures.

Also, there’s a lot of confusion online about which types of fillings to consider. We’ll cover that in detail so you can go to your next appointment with more confidence and less concern.

Let’s look at what dental fillings are, what to expect when you get a filling and other common questions.

What is a dental filling?

A dental filling is a dental procedure used to restore part of a tooth that has been damaged by decay.

The objective with a filling is to remove the decayed area, clean it well, and “fill” the space with a material, returning the tooth to its normal shape and, hopefully, normal function.

There are a number of materials that can be used for a tooth filling. Amalgam (silver colored), composite (white, or shaded to match the color of your remaining teeth), and gold are the most common materials used. Porcelain fillings are another option that can have you in and out in just a visi

How does my dentist know I need a filling?

The most tell-tale signs of a cavity or decay are pain or sensitivity around the affected area or food suddenly getting caught between teeth. You should call your dentist as soon as you feel pain or when cold drinks or hot foods cause you to jump with discomfort or tingling.

Because pain occurs when a cavity is already fairly large, it’s important to be seen quickly when you feel pain. Most dental professionals leave time in their schedules for emergency appointments.

Don’t settle for using numbing agents like clove oil or Orajel and ignore your tooth pain. Schedule an appointment right away for sharp or throbbing tooth pain in one or just a few teeth.

When you get to the dentist’s office, s/he will perform some simple tests.

Visual Assessment: Your dentist will do a visual assessment and look around your mouth, most carefully around the area where you complain of pain. At this point, s/he is looking for the most obvious signs of a cavity: cracks, discoloration, white colored lesions, or even rough parts or “spots” on the outside of your teeth.

Probing/Palpation: After visual assessment, your dentist will then probably use a small instrument to gently tap on and poke your teeth. The instrument is like a small pick. Different kinds of decay will feel differently to the pick. This is another way to determine the severity of your tooth decay. The sharp point engages the decayed dentin and makes a pinging sound when pulled away from it. Dentist call this a “stick.” As a patient, you can hear and feel the tug of the engaging dental explorer, called the pick.

This palpation is effective in finding occlusal decay, which is a cavity/decay on the top or exposed sides of teeth. However, it can’t detect interproximal decay, meaning cavities/decay between the teeth.

Probing with visual assessment can also help the dentist identify other teeth that may need further examination or a problem not even related to cavities. For example, pain in the area around an upper tooth may actually be coming from decay in a lower tooth. This is called “referred pain” and can lead to an erroneous diagnosis.

There are several medical issues that can cause pain in and around your teeth other than decay. Referred tooth pain may be due to problems with your heart or lungs, respiratory illness, or even neurological conditions. (1) For example, the roots of your upper teeth are close to your sinus passages, a sinus infection or inflammation may cause pain or discomfort in your teeth.

X-Rays: After the dentist finishes a visual examination and has palpated around the inside of your mouth, s/he will most likely have a set of dental x-rays taken. These images give the most in-depth look at your teeth. They allow the dentist to determine if there is, in fact, a cavity, as well as the size and severity of any cavities present.

An x-ray will give your dentist the most accurate picture of what’s needed when deciding between a filling or a more drastic treatment, like a root canal.

Diagnosis and Treatment Plan: At this point in the examination, you will be given a synopsis of the dentist’s findings and a course of action.

If I review a patient’s findings and discover a very small area of decay in the enamel (not dentin), I may recommend a plan for remineralization, or healing cavities naturally. There may be a chance for remineralization if the patient can keep the area clean and follow a straightforward diet plan with foods to reverse cavities.

However, the cavity may be too large to fill or located in an area of the mouth where the patient would have difficulty keeping it clean. Or, I may know the patient’s diet is not conducive to remineralization. In these cases, I would proceed with a dental filling.

Types of Dental Fillings: What kind of filling should I get?

Amalgam: Possibly the most commonly seen in adult mouths, silver/amalgam fillings are the go-to for most dentists. While the FDA states that dentists have been using this material for more than 150 years and it’s totally safe, I suggest steering away from this option.

Amalgam fillings start out very shiny silver in appearance (certainly not something most folks would want used on the front teeth), but turn to a dull gray or even balck color over time. This happens because silver is a corroding material. Still, amalgam is a popular choice because of its relatively low cost and easy placement in a wet field.

The 2 most important reasons I can’t recommend them are these: the process involved in getting “silver teeth,” and the chemical composition of amalgam fillings.

The process. If you have a very small cavity, your dentist will have to cut away perfectly good tooth to make the design of the metal filling better. I don’t like to remove portions of a perfectly healthy tooth for any reason.

The composition. According to the FDA, dental amalgam is “a mixture of metals, consisting of liquid (elemental) mercury and powdered alloy composed of silver, tin, and copper. Approximately 50% of dental amalgam is elemental mercury by weight.”

Although many experts state that this level of mercury in the filling is safe, I do not recommend it. With other, less problematic dental filling options to consider, it seems an unnecessary risk to me.

If you do have amalgam fillings, you should expect them to last about 10-15 years before being replaced. Be sure to work with a dentist who has experience and proper equipment for mercury removal (more on how to find those dentists here).

Composite resin (or plastic): Composite fillings are usually composed of glass and acrylic resin. These are a popular choice for front teeth that are clearly visible because they can be easily matched to your natural teeth color (sort of like porcelain crowns). Composites are also more cost-effective than our fourth option below, gold.

However, this type of dental filling may not be for you. Composites aren’t as durable as some of the other more common options, and therefore, don’t last as long (generally speaking, between three and 10 years). They are best suited for smaller cavities.

Another downside to consider is that composites can be difficult to polish. They can also be stained by tobacco use and coffee or wine. The newer composites are better at resisting this.

Porcelain: While not the most expensive of the top types on the market, porcelain fillings typically require more than one visit to complete.

It’s becoming more mainstream to use newer techniques where the filling is “milled” (shaped) while the patient waits, finishing everything in just one visit. However, these fillings are bonded to the teeth with composite materials, which can fail quicker than the porcelain itself.

You must be fitted for porcelain fillings (also known as inlays or onlays). Then, an impression is sent to an outside lab to fabricate the inlay.

You’ll make the second appointment to have the filling bonded to the tooth and checked for fit and function.

Like composites, porcelain can be matched to the color of your teeth, but they are much more resistant to stains from tobacco, coffee, and tea. And while they’re not as hard-wearing as gold and silver, they look the most like natural teeth.

Gold Inlay/Onlay: Last of the most common filling materials I want to mention is the gold inlay/onlay. Its durability and long-lasting quality make it a great choice for dental fillings. Although many people prefer their fillings to blend in with their natural teeth, this is a very good, cost-effective, and safe option.

Even though the filling is visible, this material is very well tolerated by gum tissue and opposing teeth (which is why it’s so durable). It also wears down at a rate that won’t upset your bite during its lifetime.

Technically, gold inlays and onlays aren’t actually “fillings,” but castings. With the other materials, your tooth is cleaned out and the material is poured in. However, gold must be cast from a mold of your teeth.

It isn’t unusual for gold fillings to last 40 years and beyond. The process of inserting the gold inlay or onlay requires two visits, so you should plan for more than one visit to the dentist to complete this procedure. Gold inlays/onlays are significantly more expensive up front, but very cost-effective over time.

What to Expect When You Get a Dental Filling

Ready to get a dental filling? Here’s what to expect.

Numbing the area. First, you’ll receive an injection of local anesthesia. After the shot, you’ll likely be left alone for up to 10 minutes while the medicine takes effect.

This is the most painful part of the procedure—once you’ve endured the injection, the pain is mostly over.

Removing the decay or old filling. Once the area around your decayed tooth is completely numb, your dentist will use a handpiece to clean out the space where the cavity (or old filling) is located. It’s very important that the entire area is cleaned out very well, especially if you’re having an old filling removed.

Designing and inserting the new filling. The dental filling will then be designed according to the size, shape, and angles where the decay was removed.

When inserting a plastic filling, it isn’t necessary to remove any part of the tooth other than what is decayed or damaged. Your dentist will create line angles and clean edges for a well-fitted filling. Amalgam fillings require the removal of more tooth material in order to fit properly.

*Keep in mind that, for gold inlays/onlays, you’ll probably need to come back for a second visit after the material has been cast.

If the cavity is between two teeth, the dentist must stretch a small band around one of the teeth. Otherwise, when the filling material is syringed into the area, the teeth would be glued together, preventing flossing and proper cleaning.

Before syringing the filling into the space, I condition the tooth. There are three steps here, which were done in separate steps when I was in dental school. Now, they are all done together: acid etch, primer, and bonding agent. This conditioning agent is administered to the tooth with a small, round sponge.

The band used as a separator is called a Tofflemire band or a matrix band. For the purposes of this article, I’ll call it the matrix band. Once the matrix band is placed, the filling can be syringed in.

Then, the material is hardened with a small handheld device called a curing light. This process is called light polymerization. The dental filling is set when it’s exposed to a certain wavelength of light.

Once the work is carefully checked, the matrix band can be removed. The filling is then cured again since the band was covering part of the exterior filling area. At this point, only two more steps remain.

Polish and Bite Check: Now, the dentist can carefully polish the filled area until smooth and properly shaped to fit in well with the teeth around it. Finally, your dentist will perform a “bite-check” to ensure the new filling is not hitting the opposing teeth poorly.

If your bite is not correct, you’ll end up with more tooth pain from improperly touching teeth when you chew. This is one reason patients sometimes have to see the dentist again soon after a filling.

How long does a dental filling last?

Different dental filling materials will last different lengths of time, although how you care for your teeth plays a part, too.

Amalgam (silver metal) fillings should last 10 years on average. However, I’ve seen them hold well for 15 and even up to 30 years.

Composite resin (plastic) fillings should last 3-10 years. There are cases where a plastic filling will last 20 or 30 years, but this is rare.

Porcelain fillings last 10-15 years.

Gold onlays/inlays are super durable and can be expected to easily last 40-60 years.

There are a number of factors that will impact the life of your filling, like these:

Keep up with good dental hygiene. How do you take care of a dental filling? The same way you take care of a tooth: All the usual steps of good oral care apply. That means you should floss, brush, eat a well-balanced diet, maintain a healthy microbiome, and manage your biofilm.

Pay attention to signs of grinding or bruxism. If you grind your teeth, especially at night, you can break dental fillings or wear them down prematurely. If you find yourself with some of the symptoms described in this article on grinding teeth, be sure to discuss it with your dentist right away.

Remember a filling isn’t a natural tooth. The simple answer to the question, “How long do dental fillings last?” is this: There is no simple answer.

A filling will not last forever. It’s a man-made substance, and will never be as good as what you were born with—good old enamel.

Fillings are made using a mixture of two different materials: man-made and natural. This is because it’s difficult to get the materials to shrink and/or expand at the same time, whereas dentin and enamel grow naturally with these coefficients of shrinkage expansion.

In other words, the filling may not fall apart, and the tooth may never develop recurrent decay, meaning cavities in the living part of the tooth. However, as long as filling materials expand and contract at different rates of speed from your original tooth, tiny micro fractures can happen.

During your dental cleanings, your dentist can keep an eye on the state of any dental fillings you have. S/he will be able to tell you when they need to be replaced.

What To Do About Amalgam Fillings

As I noted earlier, amalgam (silver) fillings are composed of 50% mercury. However, it’s true that amalgam fillings have been in use for 150+ years and, for many people, cause no side effects.

In some people, though, mercury can cause tooth sensitivity. (2) Plus, if you’re exposed to mercury/amalgam on a regular basis, toxicity may be a concern.

Removing and replacing amalgam fillings can be costly and actually expose you to more mercury (in the short term) than you would be otherwise. For most people concerned about amalgam toxicity, it’s a good idea to simply practice simple detox methods to limit your mercury exposure.

Chelation therapy is a treatment for detoxification of heavy metals in the body. The treatment circulates a chelating solution that binds the toxins in the bloodstream.

You should also eat plenty of cilantro.

Yes, you read that correctly: cilantro. Simply eating cilantro multiple times a day can be extremely effective to naturally detoxify the body of the possibly harmful effects of heavy metals. Research indicates it’s not only effective but also simple and inexpensive. (3)

You might ask, “What if my dentist only offers amalgam fillings?”

My first answer would be to consider a different dentist. Composite resins and porcelain fillings are much safer for your mouth and body.

Another question I’m asked a lot is, “What should I do if safer options like porcelain or composite (or even gold, for that matter) are too expensive for my budget, or my dental insurance has cost caps for other filling materials?”

If the cost of a dental procedure is more than you can reasonably afford, I would suggest you visit a dental school.

Any treatment you receive there is carefully and closely monitored by highly qualified dentists serving as instructors. The cost of their services is lower than what you’d pay in a traditional dental office.

Frequently Asked Questions About Dental Fillings

What’s the difference between a dental filling and a root canal?

A: A dental filling is used to replace (fill) a space where decay or damage has occured in a tooth. The root of the tooth remains intact and still sends blood flow to the tooth structure. The tooth can still be remineralized and demineralized.

When you need a root canal, the decay has progressed to a point that the entire root must be cleaned out. The tooth left behind is “mummified” and no longer has blood flow. It will need a crown and runs the risk of future infection that could require the tooth to be extracted, although many people have successful root canals that allow them to preserve tooth structure.

As I outline in greater detail in the article, “Know Before You Go: Root Canals,” this procedure is done to preserve your tooth. By the time a root canal is recommended, it’s typically too late to save the life of the tooth; it is already too infected and has begun to die.

During the initial procedure, the inflamed pulp is removed and the inside of the tooth is carefully cleaned out and shaped. Then, the space is filled and sealed. At the second visit, a crown will be placed on the tooth to protect it from breakage, since the mummified tooth will become more brittle over time.

Will I ever need a filling with a crown?

A: I get this question often, and it’s a great one to ask. Although a dental crown is quite a bit more expensive than a filling and requires an additional visit to the dentist, sometimes, it is completely necessary.

A dental crown covers teeth after damage or cosmetic issues, including root canals as well as large fillings and even certain cases of broken teeth.

The actual crown is a cap made of inanimate material (usually porcelain or gold). It is shaped to look like and fit onto a tooth so that the inside of the tooth isn’t exposed.

The general rule of thumb to determine the need for a crown is this: if it’s determined that the width of the dental filling (or the space cleaned of the decay, or removal of the previous filling), is greater than ⅔ width of the tooth, then you’ll most likely require a crown.

Think about it like this for a moment: If the cavity has taken over the majority of your tooth until all that is left is the thin outer wall of the tooth, it wouldn’t take much normal use to crack or break it. Then, your dental problems (and your dental bills) will increase even more.

To prevent breakage, large fillings like I described will be paired with a crown.

Does filling a cavity hurt?

A: There are several aspects to consider when answering this question.

I can safely say that most of my patients don’t feel anything when a filling is done. If you respond well to the numbing process and the procedure is done without complication or incident, you should have a relatively pain-free experience.

Here are some instances where “typical pain” can occur:

Sometimes, the injection to number the area is not given properly. In these cases, a little internal bleeding or small hematoma could form inside.

If, while trying to find the “perfect” location for the anesthesia, the dentist bounces off or accidentally touches the bone, you’ll probably feel pain. This pain is usually dull and achy around the bone.

If a matrix band is placed around the tooth incorrectly, it could slip down below the gum and scrape or cut it.

Another way the gum feel pain is if it gets nicked (by accident) during the filling procedure. I’ve found that gum pain can be pretty tough to deal with.

Desiccation (the drying out of a tooth) can also cause pain. This can happen when too little water spray is used, which allows the affected area to overheat. Or, the dentist can blow too much air in the tooth and desiccate it that way.

After a procedure where your mouth had to remain open for a long period of time, you could experience some jaw pain or discomfort. And if you’re a frequent bruxer/grinder, your “masters,” or chewing muscles, are going to be a bit of a mess anyway. This can be easily prevented by using a bite block, which props the mouth open without forcing the patient to strain jaw muscles. In essence, the bite block does all the work.

That may seem like a long list, but all of these are somewhat rare complications of a dental filling procedure.

If you have a good dentist with a clean office and high-quality staff, your experience with a dental filling should be fairly painless. What I like to hear from patients at their next cleaning after a dental filling is, “I just had a little bit of soreness.”

What does a dental filling look like?

A: This may sound over-simplified, but the actual appearance of a filling in your tooth should just look a substance filling the cleaned-out space in your tooth. It is extremely important to trust your dentist to work carefully to fashion, shape and smooth your new filling to the exact shape of your natural tooth.

This isn’t just for the sake of aesthetics, though. Your bite has to be returned to the same line as it was before you had a cavity. Otherwise, you’ll be back to the office in the near future with a new kind of pain due to a misaligned bite.

Chewing with a badly lined bite can cause teeth to bang against each other, potentially damaging other teeth. You also run the risk of issues occurring such as temporomandibular joint disorder (TMD, TMJ).

How much does a dental filling cost?

A: According to NerdWallet and Member Benefits, the average cost of fillings is:

Amalgam (silver): $132

Resin composite (white): $155-170

Porcelain (white): $1400-1600

Gold inlay/onlay: $1123-1600

Keep in mind that this varies depending on where you live and where the tooth is located in your mouth (harder-to-reach teeth cost more). If you gasped a little when you saw the cost of porcelain fillings or gold inlays/onlays, remember that those last significantly longer than the cheaper options and/or don’t involve toxic materials within the mouth.

For lower-cost fillings procedures, try contacting a local dental school.

Does a filling stop cavities from forming in that tooth?

A: The correct answer depends on the type of material you choose for your filling.

In the case of metal fillings, you may have some corrosion in the mouth. As odd as it may seem, that’s how the metal tooth filling maintains its record of longevity. As the filling material is corroding, it’s filling in that gap.

Without getting too technical, the corrosion byproducts of the filling are killing the bacteria that try to attack that interface between filling and tooth. So it’s the inherent weakness of the filling, ironically, that’s keeping it in there longer, because bacteria really don’t have a chance of causing recurrent decay as the metal corrodes.

Composite resin fillings are very different. They are sealed against the tooth, but that seal will break down eventually. There’s also no possible corrosion by-product to maintain or eradicate the naturally occurring bacteria. That’s why recurrent decay is a little more common with composites.

Key Takeaways on Dental Fillings

Of all the information I’ve provided in this article regarding dental fillings, what are the most important things to remember?

First, don’t ignore sharp or throbbing pain in one or a few teeth. It’s tempting to self-treat this type of pain and wait until you can “afford” dental work, but the longer your cavity has to take root, the more chances you’ll have a more expensive procedure ahead.

Second, make sure you understand your options. Whether it’s the choice between a root canal or a dental filling or just selecting the right material for your dental filling, ask for thorough information about the options you have.

Third, remember that fillings are almost always virtually pain-free. The worst part of just about every dental filling is the injection at the very beginning when your dentist numbs your teeth.

Want to know more about the process of getting a filling? Just ask me.

read next: 7 Questions to Ask Before Agreeing to Any Dental Procedure

References

Ehrmann, E. H. (2002). The diagnosis of referred orofacial dental pain. Australian Endodontic Journal, 28(2), 75-81. Abstract: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12360674

Rathore, M., Singh, A., & Pant, V. A. (2012). The dental amalgam toxicity fear: a myth or actuality. Toxicology international, 19(2), 81. Full text: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3388771/

Sears, M. E. (2013). Chelation: harnessing and enhancing heavy metal detoxification—a review. The Scientific World Journal, 2013. Full text: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3654245/

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dentalinfotoday · 5 years

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