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#and accurately depicts how hard it is to animate
veveisveryuncool · 6 months
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starving artist episode was a banger i need 20 more
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kirbytober day 20: castle/fav episode
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paper-mario-wiki · 5 months
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Shangri-La Frontier mid-season review
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This is by far the best fake video game I've ever seen written in fiction.
Most MMO-centric isekai stories have trouble with providing accurate and realistic depictions of the complexities and minutia that give MMOs the allure they have. I've seen so much handwavey bullshit tacked onto fake-games that introduce unrealistically overlooked mechanics for reasons like giving the protag immense power just because they're the protag and the story is about them. A good example of this is another MMO Isekai airing this season, "A Playthrough of a Certain Dude's VRMMO Life", wherein the main character becomes extremely rich, powerful, and famous by episode 2 because he stumbled into a stealth archer playstyle, a build which apparently no human in that universe had ever conceived of before, and then making a fortune by selling basic potions to everyone after NPCs stopped selling them (another thing he was uniquely able to do because not a single other player had the forethought to spec into alchemy). These lesser, dime-a-dozen isekai add up to be boring fantasy strories with gaming elements clumsily put in so that the author can demonstrate how powerful the world's inhabitants are by showing their stat allocation screen instead of, say, explaining anything about what they do that's so uniquely powerful and how they figured it out. Ya know, stuff you'd hope to hear about from any competent story.
Shangri-La Frontier is a breath of fresh air for anyone who, like me, is sick of authors ignoring the things that actually make video games compelling in service of creating a stock-standard narratives in fantasy worlds because it allows them to get away with bullshit. I've always found it very convenient that many isekai narratives indulge in things like chattel slavery, because it's societally normal enough for the protag to purchase a beautiful, vulnerable girl to add to his harem (dont worry, she is always inexplicably in love with him no matter what because he's SUCH a kind master). And it never really seems to go anywhere. Because the Video Game Isekai, while an interesting premise in theory, is more often than not used exclusively as a means to simplify the structure of a world's power scaling to abide by an arbitrary set of omnipresent universal rules (e.g. what people who have never cared to look into game development think of video games). This anime, by comparison, is VERY clearly authored by someone who plays a LOT of games.
Every piece of logic used to drive the plot forward, so far, is congruent to a real-world example of video game conventions, and I'm not just talking about levelling up and selling monster parts. Story elements that I've rarely (if ever) seen explored in other isekai are ever-present and genuinely clever and amusingly introduced. My favorite example of this so far has been the way the protagonist has been able to go head to head with so many overlevelled foes in the first 9 episodes. The story of course makes note of how good of a gamer Sanraku (our hero) is, but much like in real life games, being super duper good at dodging attacks doesn't really make up for a 70 level gap in items and learned skills. For that reason, he gets his ass whooped more often than he actually outsmarts others (so far he hasn't beaten a single player in pvp). So how is he getting out of these situations without dying so frequently? Simple: he got access to a later area too early relative to his level (sequence break) and got access to a high level follower NPC that's been carrying him. This is something he acknowledges directly several times, specifically using words like "Emul has been hard-carrying me for a while." This, to me, is extraordinarily meaningful. That's something you can exploit in Skyrim, man. That's REALISTIC CHEESE STRATS. The excitement and wonder I find in this show doesn't come from watching the protag do something unexpected, but by watching him do something that I would think to do.
This knowledge the author has demonstrated regarding modern gaming culture extends further into the actual realistic nature of game design and community. The story exists in a reality where full-dive VRMMOs are the be-all-end-all of gaming, and given the prohibitively expensive nature of developing and designing expansive, immersive worlds, most games are pretty shit. It's been hinted at so far that this is due to a monopolistic megacorp which is one of the only entities rich and powerful enough to make a good game (the game in question being the one that shares the title of the anime), but so far the strife of the characters have been pretty centralized to the happenings of the game world and its politics. By the way, lets talk about the game world's player base politics, which I'm also quite pleased with. It exists in the form of guilds and clans who struggle for power not by participating in seemingly random pvp with other powerful players to see who is the most epic and badass warrior (again, like many contemporary isekai typically opt for), but by gaining actual realistic support from a fictional playerbase with realistic desires and playstyles. Some guilds are interested in lore, some gather for alliance and boss raids, some for things like animal husbandry, and (naturally) at least one is dedicated to trolling and PKing. Each of these factions, through the very little that we've seen of them so far, communicate on forums and only know as much as is reasonable for them to know. The only reason they give a shit about the protagonist at all is because he gained access to a high-level unique scenario quest that they want information on how to access, and the only reason word of that got out in the first place was because someone posted a screenshot of him with a unique NPC onto a forum, asking about it as "where can i find this pet summon, its super cute!" That's real. That's video games, baby.
I like this show a lot so far. I like that it cares about video games, but I also like its writing. I like the main character and how hes less of an ultra badass super cool guy, and more of an earnest challenge-run lets player. Like, a lot of his dialogue straight up sounds strikingly similar to Japanese youtubers. And he's naturally always quick to point out inconsistencies in the game world's logic. I ALSO really like his community of pals from a janky old fighting game, and I ADORE the girl from his school who has a crush on him and also just so happens to be an exceptionally high level player from a top clan, and how she had to spend 9 episodes working up the courage to send him a friend request. I love that so, so much, dude.
I highly recommend this show if you're into a single thing I've mentioned. The animation is great. The world is beautiful. The character design is immaculate. And I'm looking forward to watching it continue.
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hanasnx · 3 months
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can you share some of thosr anakin-related-content-you-consumed on ur anakin fixation era cz im fixating on anakin aswell rn and i want to study him!! please, idk where to start 🙇🏻‍♀️
supercut of star wars I - III reddit link with instructions to receive them via google docs
i've seen both tpm and aotc supercuts but i have yet to finish the rots supercut because of it being so long. there are also deleted scenes on youtube that were not included in the supercuts linked here:
star wars episodes I and II extended edition - unused deleted scenes youtube video
revenge of the sith 4 hour supercut - unused deleted scenes youtube video
if you cannot get a hold of the supercuts for some reason, no sweat. the same channel listed in the above links has a bunch of videos on their channel of all "restored deleted scenes" that you can watch individually. of course, that is without the "siege of mandalore" that's included in the rots supercut. but that's just the bits you would see from season 7 of the clone wars spliced in, so you wouldn't be missing anything.
star wars: episode I - the phantom menace
if you cannot get a hold of the supercuts for whatever reason, start here. one of my favorite star wars movies. features young anakin, about nine years old, and how comes to live with the jedi, how he meets padme, and where he comes from.
star wars: episode II - attack of the clones
we follow older anakin, about nineteen years old, where he reunites with padme and they fall in love. the cracks of the dark side's influences are beginning to show.
star wars: clone wars
this is the mini-series released in 2003-2005 to depict anakin's journy throughout the beginning of the clone wars to prepare audiences for star wars: revenge of the sith coming out in 2005. it has since been de-canonized and replaced with the clone series that comes out in 2008. it is still worth the watch. anakin's voice actor is supremely talented and sounds a lot like hayden christensen. albiet he is dramatic, as it is a kid's show, i still very much enjoy his characterization. it's actually pretty funny too, it did get me to laugh a couple times. chapter 24-25 i believe is where anakin undergoes a sort of spiritual awakening, and the ending always makes me cry.
star wars: the clone wars movie
it was honestly boring to me, but i still watched it for much needed context on the show.
star wars: the clone wars
as i’ve said before, i don’t really care for tcw!anakin, but this was still a fun and enjoyable watch. it wasn’t completely worthless to me, i did learn some more things about anakin that applied to hayden’s rendition.
unreleased star wars: the clone wars arc - crystal crisis on utapau (full) youtube video
i didn’t finish it but from what i’ve seen so far it’s pretty funny.
anakin & obi-wan | let my people go youtube video edit
one of my favorite edits to one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies. i think about it a lot, especially during the “this was my home.” lyric. hammering in the betrayal of brothers that grew up alongside one another, and if you resonate with that song and movie it provides another layer of context. it’s deliciously painful. when anakin’s side of “you who i called brother,” cuts through and interrupts the melody, impatient to speak about his perspective using ramses’ narrative to do it, it’s acutely accurate to anakin’s character in my eyes.
clone wars: battle of the heroes - a star wars fan animation youtube video
i haven’t seen this yet but i’ve been waiting to enjoy it to its fullest. the creator worked very hard on it for a long time, so it’s worth the link.
star wars episode III: revenge of the sith novel by matthew stover
i have not read this, but i’ve seen hundreds of excerpts over the course of this hyperfixation on tumblr. it’s widely accepted even though it’s decanonized, and offers insight into anakin’s head that you can’t access with just watching the movie. i thoroughly enjoy and reblog the excerpts i come across, but since i’m not a reader i haven’t picked it up to complete it myself.
star wars: episode III - revenge of the sith
the third installment in the prequel series, and where shit goes down. twenty-three year old anakin grapples with his desires overcoming his sense of obligations, warping his own ideals to fit into selfish purposes. you see how he betrays the republic, his wife, his brother, and himself, all for power.
star wars episode III revenge of the sith (xbox) no commentary walkthrough full game [1080p60fps] youtube video
i haven’t gotten to watch this yet but i’d like to soon, i’ve seen bits and pieces and i believe there are alternate endings that prove interesting. if you like gameplay movies i think you should give it a shot, but if not, go ahead and skip this one.
star wars: episode III - revenge of the sith - making the game youtube video
it’s short and sweet. about hayden’s view of the character anakin and how he acts in combat.
star wars: tales of the jedi
s1e5 where we receive insight as to how anakin trains his padawan.
vader: complete canon comic series 1-25 in chronological order youtube video
i loved this so much. so many good moments that i ate the fuck up. we follow vader in his first year of becoming the sith lord, grappling with identity, past, and recognition. we also get insight into the very sensitive time of jedi eradication, i learned a lot. my favorite parts are when vader has to fight without a saber against clones, make his own red saber by retrieving one from a surviving jedi, and the arc that includes jocasta nu.
star wars the force unleashed- full game walkthrough gameplay no commentary youtube video
star wars the force unleashed 2 - full game walkthrough gameplay no commentary youtube video
both of these i've been meaning to watch, but i haven't been in the mood. i figured i'd link them in case you were interested in more gameplay movies.
star wars rebels
i didn't finish this, but i did watch a lot of the vader content and the scarce anakin content. i'll watch anything that mentions him tbh.
star wars jedi: fallen order - full game - no commentary youtube video
i played this game and loved it. the ending is the money shot tbh.
star wars: obi-wan kenobi
this was probably the first sw show i watched after i got back into darth vader in august 2022. reawakened a lot for me, i really enjoyed vader's part in this story. reva is also one of my favorites, and i thought her being a mirror image to anakin in this situation was clever, i thought her backstory was unique and refreshing. but what really shines for me is vader's contribution as both an extension of the emperor and a vessel for his own selfish desires. there are parts where i can see he's more machine than man. there are also some anakin parts as well! which i didn't enjoy as much, funnily enough.
rogue one: a star wars story
i haven't seen this one in years, but i do remember darth vader's appearances being both funny and badass.
star wars: episode IV - a new hope
star wars: episode V - the empire strikes back
it took me a long time to come around on this one. now it's one of my favorites. especially because we start to get the first glimpses within the original trilogy of vader's humanity, and his ability to demonstrate faint loyalty to his blood.
star wars: episode VI - return of the jedi
fave sw movie tbh since childhood. you can't get better than the ending. vader's sacrifice is everything to me.
lego star wars: the skywalker saga
i had played this game back in may 2022 when i visited my sister. she and i used to play lego games together when we were kids, and one of my first video games ever was lego star wars: the video game from 2005 which she introduced me to. it holds a special place in my heart, and i really liked playing skywalker saga even though at this point i hadn't cared about star wars in years. when i got back home i couldn't stop thinking about the saga game so i bought it myself, and then played it so obsessively i didn't do anything else. it got me back in the mood for darth vader so i watched obi-wan kenobi, and one thing leads to another now here i am with a smut blog about anakin skywalker's entire life and his every iteration. i loved the game, i think you should play it even though it's just lego versions of everything, it's still really fun.
star wars: ahsoka
you see him in this and the cinematography is breathtaking at times, but i didn't care for it. i only cared about the glimpses of anakin/vader's appearances even if they didn't contribute anything to the story for me.
anakin skywalker vs palpatine full fight scene (hd) - star wars episode IX [alternative ending] youtube video
this is a fan edit! i think about it a lot even though i haven't seen the sequels.
the life of anakin skywalker: darth vader (star wars) youtube video
i haven't finished this, but from what i've seen it's taught me things even i didn't know. i really appreciated the facts that aren't even on wookiepedia.
any books on it i've only seen the excerpts here on tumblr, i haven't read any because i'm not a big reader but i've seen some great posts that i reblog. so don't sleep on the books/comics
great ask
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I’ve been getting more and more attached to Jason’s character so please indulge me. I will be having to section these off cause I’m gonna be talking about two pieces of media </3
Titans
I’m watching season three of Titans right now and, it’s a wonder. There’s a few aspects that bother me but overall I’m in love so far.
The season makes a bold choice by literally opening on Jason- a hero- doing drugs. Sure in season two it mentions Hank doing drugs because of Hawk and it does show him in the act of snorting a substance, but the difference is, he’s an adult. Hank is a thirty something year old man who has probably most likely killed people, Jason isn’t.
Yes, Jason is violent. Yes, he did assault police officers, but he never killed anyone. Jason may legally be an adult but he still acts like a teenager because he is one. He’s a traumatized teen having to deal with the fact that he’s repressing so much from everyone he loves. He never gets an outlet to discuss what’s happened to him with people he trusts.
A great example of this is when he’s about to jump off the the Titans tower in season two. He tries talking to Dick, he says how he feels and he try’s expressing himself, he tries so hard to get his brother figure to understand what he’s going through. What does Dick do? He flips it around and unintentionally makes it about himself.
The closest we get to him actually opening up is when he starts trusting Rose, telling her about his upbringing and starting to get comfortable with her, comfortable loving her. Then she reveals that she only met him because she was trying to manipulate him.
The impact of him turning to drugs hits so much harder. He’s just scared, he turns to anything he can to help. It’s so much deeper when it’s shown that the drug he takes isn’t heroine or coke or anything like that. It’s a drug that stops fear.
He literally felt so weak that he took drugs to repress his emotions to the point where he felt nothing, he felt nothing and thought he was better because of it. There’s no doubt that at this point in the story he’s addicted. Jason started using before he died and the madman who gave him the drugs started using them to manipulate him. I’m really interested in where the story is gonna go with it, I really hope it actually dives into withdrawal and how Jason would cope with everything going on around him without the help of drugs.
Comics/Animation
Overall with every piece of media I see regarding Jason and the batfam, it never really manages to depict Bruce and Jason’s relationship accurately, one of the good ones was that single episode of Titans. (in my opinion).
Me personally, I see Bruce and Jason’s relationship in a very complicated light.
When he first gets adopted, Jason views Bruce as a nurturing figure. He sees him like every child sees their parents, perfect. It’s like he can do no wrong. He’s Batman! And he made Jason Robin! It’s a perfect opportunity, he was being helped, he finally had a dad, one that loved him.
Before Jason died, he still very much idolized Bruce but not to the point of thinking he was perfect. He knew Bruce wasn’t perfect, he just couldn’t bring himself to actually say it. Jason couldn’t face the fact that Batman didn’t need a Robin, he didn’t accept that he could still be Bruce’s son without being Robin.
After he died and came back, there was resentment. He hated Bruce, despised him with every fiber of his being. Depending on what canon you’re watching/reading, there’s different reasons for why. Either Jason is mad that Bruce took Robin away from him before he died, effectively taking away his only coping mechanism, therefore resulting in his death. Or, he hates Bruce for not killing Joker. His father didn’t avenge him, he could care less about Batman having an obligation to avenge Robin as his sidekick—fuck Robin. He cares that Bruce, as a father, didn’t kill the Joker to avenge his son. He let his sons killer roam free, putting the psycho in Arkham won’t do anything. Or or, he holds resentment that Bruce couldn’t save him. He couldn’t save his sidekick, his son, his Robin. He failed.
No matter what happens between the duo, Jason always holds self loathing in his heart because of Bruce.
Across all forms of media, he always develops the thought that Bruce hates him. He always thinks that he’s the ‘least favorite/most hated child’ even though it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Bruce loves him, Jason is undoubtedly the favorite child.
(Sneaking a Titans reference in here—) The fact of Bruce caring for Jason more than his other children, (cough cough DICK) is solidified when he takes the Robin mantle away from Jason. He’s trying to protect his son in a way he thinks is best. He saw and heard what being Robin did to Dick, he doesn’t want to put Jason through that. Even the line where Bruce says “I don’t want to make the same mistakes.” Jason perceives it as Bruce calling him a mistake. He lashes out and gets angry because he thinks that he’s being called a mistake. It’s not true, the sentence itself with the context of the episode and the episode before show that it’s not true. Bruce is calling Dick his mistake, not Jason.
Throughout everything, Jason sees anything negative that Bruce says or does as a direct attack on him, when he’s the only one Bruce actually tried to parent. Dick was treated like a weapon. Jason, as a child.
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sematarygirls · 1 year
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Living Dead Girl — Patrick Hockstetter.
part two
pairing : patrick hockstetter x ghost!reader (descriptors such as beautiful and nicknames such as dollface, darling, ect, but no described features— ie. long hair, brown eyes)
summary : patrick gave into his urges and finally tested his morbid curiosities on prey much larger than just a cat or dog. little did he know his actions would come back to haunt him... literally.
warnings : patrick being a psychopath , animal abuse , graphic depictions of murder/gore , you being murdered (in third person) 🤗 , self image issues
word count : 5.5k (part one)
a/n : i don't know how accurate this is to patrick, but i tried to make him lack empathy and remorse and he can't exactly feel love— just obsession and fascination. also, i hc patrick as a lefty so do with that what you will.
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Patrick had once again been feeling that familiar itch. It started subtlety this time, like a tickle from a weightless feather that blew lightly across his skin every so often, and it began to gradually grow.
He tried his best to satiate the hunger of the beast within, to scratch that itch in the same way he had so many times before— by killing the neighborhood pets.
But, it appeared this craving was a different kind altogether, for when he lit his lighter, allowing the aerosol to spray through the flame and fry the kitten until it was unrecognizable and it's shrill screams had died out, he felt nothing. There was no sense of relief, no satisfaction or even the small semblance of happiness— because Patrick truly couldn't feel such uplifting emotions.
There was just nothing.
Well, there was still that nagging itch.
It took some contemplation. Long nights staring up at the empty ceiling of his room, his right arm propped under his head while his left laid passively across his torso. How could he rid himself of this feeling?
He pondered that perhaps burning just didn't do it for him anymore. To test his theory, he tried many other options— drowning, suffocation, mutilation— he even, regrettably, attempted tasting the vile little creatures.
So, definitely not the method of torture because he was sure that if he hadn't even feeling so empty, those, with the exception of the last one, would have been a world of fun for him. Well then, maybe it was the animal!
Squirrels, cats, dogs, raccoons, lizards, frogs, birds— anything he could get his hands on became helpless victims in Patrick's reign of terror, but none of it helped.
That feeling began to grow until it took up every inch of his body. All he could think about was the kill. Even when he and his friends were torturing their pre-pubescent victims, images of blood and agonizing screams plagued his mind.
And that's when it hit him— he needed a human victim. One that brought real stakes to the equation, one that would get his adrenaline rushing at the idea of being caught.
Initially, it had been an idea. He hadn't planned to act on it... but then you came along, and god, you were just so perfect.
You ran into him, through no fault of your own. He had been walking down the wrong side of the hallway, and you were just coming around a corner, so he was in your blind spot.
"Oh, god. I'm so sorry. I'm such a klutz," you chuckled lightly after you collided into his hard chest. You looked up at him with wide, apologetic eyes.
As he stared down at you, he just knew that you were the one. You were so perfect. So beautiful. And it made him furious. He couldn't quite discern why, but the way your eyes sparkled with genuity and naivety caused a pit of red hot rage to build in his stomach.
But he couldn't act yet. He had to gain your trust. He had to ensure that he could get you into the woods by yourself so he could enact his plan and finally scratch that fucking itch.
"My fault, dollface," he spoke with a wide smile, attempting to be somewhat gentlemanly. "I wasn't paying attention." He gently clenched and released his fist as he watched you smile brightly. "I'm Patrick, Hockstetter," he introduced, leaning forward to tower over you in an attempt to be intimidating but in a way that could also come off as flirtatious.
"Ah, yes, the infamous Patrick Hockstetter, I presume?" You asked, your eyebrow arching slightly. There it was again. That anger. It had to have been your subtle cockiness, the way you weren't the least bit fearful of him even though his reputation clearly proceeded him.
"The very same," he smirked, leaning close to your ear. His breath lightly fanned the shell of your ear. "Why? Does my reputation scare you? Do I scare you?"
You let out a light chuckle. "No." It was a simple answer, and yet Patrick still found himself having to cling to that feeling on his skin, the one he desperately wanted to be rid of, to ensure that he didn't snap right at that second.
For some bizarre reason, in your presence, Patrick felt utterly powerless, which was a very foreign feeling to him. He had always been calm and calculated, except for when he was alone with his projects, so to be so out of control of his emotions just added to his resentment toward you.
"You should be," he replied ominously before turning and walking away from you in long, precise strides. He let his smirk fall and his lip curl up in disgust as he felt your eyes on his back the whole way down the hallway.
It had been such a simple interaction, and yet it had left you completely and utterly captivated. You should have been afraid of him. You'd known of his tendency for him and his friends to terrorize younger kids, and of course, you had heard the whispers of what he did when he thought no one was around, but those were just rumors... right?
Either way, you were intrigued by Patrick and wanted to see him again.
The next time you two had met, you were walking home. You lived above your parent's old record store in the town square, which was extremely convenient for you because it meant all the stores, the arcade, and school were just a short walk away. The record shop had been your grandfather's before it became your mother's, and soon it would be yours.
You were coming up on the arcade, and as you approached, you hesitated. Should you go inside? Your parents were expecting you home, but it was Friday, so they'd be okay with you going out for a bit, right?
As you contemplated, a blue Trans Am pulled up next to you, and a voice called out to you. "Y/N!"
Your eyebrows furrowed as your mind registered the familiarity of the voice. It sounded like Patrick, but it couldn't be because you had never told him your name. You turned, eyes widening slightly in surprise as your gaze met Patrick, who was hanging with half his body out the window of the car. In the passenger's seat, Henry was staring forward, a bored and slightly irritated look on his face.
"Hockstetter?" You asked with a grin. "I don't remember telling you my name."
"You didn't," he replied, sending a grin of his own your way.
"Did you ask around about me?" You teased, your eyebrows raising slightly as you gave him a playful look.
"Maybe," he shrugged. "Still not scared of me?" He asked, placing the palms of his hands on the door to push his upper half out the window toward you.
"Hmm," you looked up and to the side, pretending to think for a moment. "Nah," you shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips.
"Well, in that case," he drawled out. "You wanna go out with me tomorrow night?"
"You bringing your posse?" You asked, nodding your head to the three other teens in the car that had undoubtedly been listening in on your conversation.
"Why? Do you want them to come?" He asked suggestively. "I mean, I didn't know you were into that, but if you insi-"
"Stop! Stop!" You laughed, clamping your hand over his mouth. He looked you dead in the eye, and for a moment, you were so hypnotized by his eyes that you didn't realize the wet sensation of his tongue flicking across your palm. "Ugh!" You shrieked in disgust with a small laugh. "Gross."
"So?" He asked, his eyebrows raising. "Whatdya say?" He grinned his Cheshire cat grin, and you couldn't help but relent.
"Okay," you said softly with a little nod. "Yeah, I'll go out with you."
"Great," he smirked, doing a little drum solo on the door in, what appeared to be excitement. "I'll pick you up at 8." You nodded, not able to contain your huge smile as he tried to awkwardly pull himself back into the car. "Oh," he said, sticking his head out the window a bit. "And wear white." Before you could question him, he sent you a wink, and then, the car was off speeding down the street.
You began to absent-mindedly walk the rest of the way home, all plans of going to the arcade having fled your mind, replaced with the thought of going on a date with Patrick. Your first date!
You really didn't know what he saw in you. He was so charming and handsome, and you were just... you. You weren't exceptionally attractive like Shelly Benson and Daniel Klein or outrageously popular like Greta Bowie and Jackson Pines. You were smart in subjects you enjoyed and not as smart in one's you weren't, and you had average social skills but never really made friends, just acquaintances.
You were just normal.
And so you stood, staring at yourself in the mirror as you examined every inch of your outfit, desperately trying to look less like yourself. You sighed in frustration, running a hand through your hair with a huff as you turned around, refusing to look at yourself any longer.
Your room was your safe space. The walls were covered in posters of your favorite bands, celebrities, and movies. You wondered what it felt like to be so effortlessly flawless as you stared around at all the beautiful people littering your walls.
Aside from the posters, your room was quite cohesive. You had chosen an excellent set of neutrals to pair with your accent color (which was your favorite color, of course), and it created a very attractive and appealing color pallet.
The sound of a knock on the apartment door made you snap out of your admiration of your room. Leave it to you to critique your artistic excellence when you're on a time crunch.
You took one last look in the mirror before taking a breath and exiting your room. You proceeded down the hall and through the living room. With one last mental reassurance, you turned the knob and opened the door.
Patrick had been practicing and planning his moves precisely. He had to shower you with compliments and be completely polite. It would let your guard down, and that's when he could strike.
The door opened, and Patrick's gaze fell on you. Even he had to admit, you were undoubtedly attractive, but it wasn't companionship he was after. It was relief.
So, putting on his best show, he opened his mouth as if he was going to speak before closing it and giving you a once over, trying his best to seem in awe of you.
"Wow," he breathed with an awkward chuckle. "You look," he let out a puff of air, motioning to you as if he couldn't find the words. "I mean- you look perfect."
He watched in satisfaction as you smiled sheepishly, gaze averting to the ground. "Thank you," you replied. You looked back up and playfully said: "And you don't look too bad yourself," in an attempt to play it cool, but Patrick could see right through you. You were falling for his charm, and how could you not?
He was a God, after all.
"So," you asked, stepping out of your apartment and shutting the door behind you. "Where are we going this fine evening?"
"Well," Patrick started, placing his hand flat on your lower back as you two walked down to the record shop on the first floor. "I know this perfect spot in the woods away from town-" You gave him a concerned look, and he chuckled lightly at your fear. "I know how it sounds, but there's a firepit me and the boys set up out there, and it has a great view of the stars because there's no light pollution out there."
You bit the inside of your cheek, and Patrick felt his pulse begin to quicken. It seemed like you were going to back out. Should he have told you? Or just let you panic when they got there?
"Okay," you nodded, turning to him with a smile as you made up your mind. "I don't love the idea of a first date in the woods, but I'm like 99% sure you're not an axe murderer or anything, so," you trailed off.
Patrick gave you a wolfish grin. Oh, if only you knew that he was a predator and you were his prey— so innocent and oblivious to the things that the night had in store for you.
The two of you walked out of the store, and Patrick read the shocked look on your face as you saw Belch's Trans Am, which was then followed by discomfort and then relief when you noticed his friends hadn't accompanied him.
"Took some convincing, but I got Belch to let me borrow Amy," Patrick said proudly as he took one long stride forward and opened the car door for you.
"He named his car?" You asked with a little giggle as you climbed into the passenger's seat. "That's cute."
"Yup, although cute isn't the word I'd use," Patrick replied before shutting the door and walking around to the driver's side.
"And what word would you use?" You asked, amusement coating your tongue and dancing in your eyes.
"Demented," he said, giving you a look as he started the car. It was ironic coming from him, and he knew it. If anyone was demented, it was the pyromaniac freak who killed animals and was tricking a girl into thinking he liked her when really he was taking her to the woods to kill her.
"That's interesting coming from someone with such a," you paused, for a moment, thinking for the right word. "Colorful reputation."
"Touché," he shrugged, pulling out of the spot he was parked in and continuing down the road to the woods. The car settled in an awkward silence as neither of you really knew what to say. Patrick knew he should ask you questions and engage with you, but to be honest, he didn't really care about what you had to say.
"Let's see what Belch has in his glove compartment," you said with a grin. Patrick's blood began to boil again. Not because you were invading Belch's privacy— he quite liked that part, actually. No one was ever allowed to look in the glove compartment. In fact, he had specifically told Patrick not to and that he would know if he did, and now Patrick could satisfy his curiosity while blaming it on his date.
No, his blood was boiling because of how casual you were. Most people would ask a stupid question to fill the silence or just sit in it, but you found a way to light heartedly and nonchalantly attempt to start a conversation. It was Infuriating to him how different you were.
Patrick considered himself an expert on human behavior. After all, it was his world, and everyone else were pawns, so growing up, he had to learn about people. He had to pick up on their little habits and understand why people did certain things so he could manipulate them and use them as playthings.
But you were different, and that's what infuriated him so much. You were still plenty easy to manipulate, but you had little quirks and ways of doing things that he'd picked up on that went against his understanding of the human condition.
You were defective, and that's why he had to get rid of you. You weren't normal. You weren't a plaything or a pawn.
You were a threat.
Patrick glanced over at you, watching for a moment as you rummaged through the glove compartment.
"Eyes on the road, pretty boy," you said absent-mindedly. "I don't plan to die tonight, and especially not at the hands of you." This made him internally smile. That was the second reference you'd made tonight of him hurting you and each time you had been wrong. You were going to die tonight— a very painful death— and the blood would be on his hands.
"He has got a lot of tapes in here," you observed aloud, pushing things around a bit more before a gasp left your lips. Patrick looked over again as you pulled out a pink piece of paper with a red lipstick stain in the shape of lips and a message in a hot pink sparkly pen that read: I really enjoyed tonight. We should do it again sometime =).
"No fucking way," Patrick said in shock, a laugh leaving his lips as he registered what he was seeing. "I can't believe that fat fuck actually gets bitches."
"Hey," you scolded, smacking him lightly on the arm. "Don't be mean," you defended. "I think it's really sweet, and clearly, he knew you'd be an ass about it," you rolled your eyes. "He really tried to hide it in there."
Patrick turned the car into a little dirt road and parked. He knew no one would be out there that late, so the car wouldn't be seen. "Here we are," he announced before climbing out and making his way to the passenger's side to open your door.
"Don't take this the wrong way," you started as you got out of the car. "But I did not expect you to be such a gentleman." Your eyes followed Patrick as he grabbed a blanket out of the backseat and tucked it underneath his right arm before approaching you.
"Well," he said, linking your arm in his left one. "I don't usually care what people think," he confessed, one of the few true things he'd actually said to you, but of course, he was about to follow it up with a lie. "But with you, it's different." He looked over at you, only to find you staring. If he wasn't making an attempt at faking vulnerability right now, he would have smirked at how enamored you were by his words.
"And why is that?" You asked quietly, hypnotized by the way the darkness created shadows on his face that seemed to define it so well. Almost as if the darkness suited him better, which was odd considering usually the light was more well-defining to people.
"You're unlike anyone I've ever met, and I don't want to scare you away," he professed, his voice seeming genuinely sincere, but obviously, that wasn't the case.
"That's quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me," you said sheepishly, a soft smile falling upon your lips. You both walked in silence for a moment, the cruching of leaves and the chirping of crickets ringing through the vast area. "Wow," you breathed out, eyes glued to the sky. "You were right. The stars look amazing out here."
"Told you," Patrick grinned before unlocking your arms and advancing forward. You two had reached a clearing, and he was approaching the firepit in the middle. Surrounding the firepit, which was clearly homemade as the stones surrounding it were just stacked on top of each other haphazardly, were various random chairs and a long bench that looked surprisingly comfortable.
"This place looks cozy," you said, eyes sweeping over the area. A chill ran down your spine as a breeze blew through the clearing. The air seemed to grow thick, and something in your gut told you to run— leave now and never look back.
You would soon wish you listened to that feeling.
Instead, you walked forward, taking a seat on the bench as Patrick doused the wood inside the firepit with lighter fluid before grabbing a lighter from his pocket and setting it ablaze.
A wave of warmth fell over you as the clearing lit up gold. Patrick straightened up and came to sit beside you on the bench. You were so focused on examining your surroundings that you didn't notice Patrick carefully grab the knife that he'd hidden inside the folded blanket and tuck it under his leg before unfolding the blanket and placing it across you both.
"So," you grinned, finally looking over at him. "Do you bring all your conquests here?"
"Just the hot ones," he smirked. You rolled your eyes, laughing at his remark. "No, but seriously," he let his smirk fall into a soft smile. "You're the only one."
You looked into his eyes and couldn't sense any deception. God, those beautiful eyes. You didn't didn't think they were capable of telling a lie.
They say eyes are the windows to the soul, but Patrick didn't have a soul, so his eyes were more like mirrors, reflections of what he knew people wanted to see when they sought out answers to questions that were better left unsaid.
You stared at each other, the air growing thick with tension as the urge to kiss him overwhelmed you. Your faces slowly inched closer together. "Patrick," you whispered, a wanting evident in your voice.
He reached up to cup your face with his right hand as his left carefully, discretely retrieved the knife from under his leg. He moved his face in, and you were sure he was going to kiss you.
But instead, he moved to the right, his mouth next to your ear as he plunged the knife he had deep into your stomach. You let out a choked cry of surprise and pain as your mind raced with a million thoughts at once, all of them so loud that you couldn't think rationally at all.
"Aw, Y/N," Patrick said darkly, feigning disappointment as he clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. "I told you that you should've been afraid of me."
He pulled away, twisting the knife to create irreparable damage before pulling it out. He watched as you cried out in pain, hand clutching your stomach in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding.
"But you were too pathetic," he spat. He ran the bloodied knife across your cheek, slicing it open before pushing a strand of hair away from your face. "Just a desperate little whore."
"Why?" You sobbed, tears streaming down your face from the burning pain. Blood began pouring out of your mouth due to the damage to your internal organs, and you knew you were going to die.
"Because I wanted to," he replied with a crazed grin, his tone of voice indicating that he believed it was the most obvious thing in the world. You had never been more fearful than you were now. Not just because you were dying, bleeding out in front of a boy you thought liked you, but because of the look in Patrick's eyes.
They were devoid of any emotion, as if killing someone didn't matter to him at all. You would have even preferred for him to look like he enjoyed it; that's how disturbing his absence of emotion was to you.
Patrick sat there and watched as you bled out before him. The glossed over, far away look in your eyes made his whole body ignite. It just felt so good.
Finally, the itching was gone, and he could live in peace for a little while more. He sat on the bench beside your lifeless body for awhile more, relishing in the feeling of freedom; it had been so long since he had felt that. When he was fully satisfied, he began cleaning up. He threw the blanket in the still burning fire before running back to Belch's car to grab the shovel he'd brought.
Sweat clung to him, sticking his shirt to his chest as he dug the hole where your body would lie. It seemed to take hours, and the feeling of sweating but also being cold was very unpleasant, but finally, he got the hole dug.
He threw the bloody knife inside and grabbed your body, picking you up bridal style and hauling you over to the hole. He dropped your corpse carelessly into your makeshift grave and didn't give you a second thought before he began shoveling the dirt back into the hole.
When he was finished, he walked back to the Trans Am, wrapping the dirty shovel in the other blanket he had brought so no dirt would get into the trunk of Belch's car. And, no one would question dirt in the driver's seat of a teen boy's car, so he wasn't overly worried about his dirtied hands and jeans.
For weeks, Patrick felt amazing. It was the longest Patrick had ever gone without feeling the compulsion to kill. Of course, he still tortured small animals, but that was for fun rather than necessity.
But then he started to see you.
At first, it was just glimpses. Like, when he was brushing his teeth, he'd lean down to spit out his toothpaste, but when he straightened himself out, there you were— standing beside him, blood staining your clothes and the cut on your cheek that he had gave you still fresh. But then, once he blinked, your figure was gone.
He would see you around like that sometimes, not frequent enough to cause concern that he was gaining a conscience. Just enough for him to think he was suffering from a bit of sleep deprivation.
He wasn't worried about being caught. The police hadn't found your body, and when he was questioned as to what happened that night on your date, he said that the two of you had planned to go out to the woods, but on the way there, you two got into an argument because you had been snooping through Belch's things and you got so furious that you demanded to be let out of the car right then and there. Belch, of course, backed this story up because he could tell someone had disturbed his glove compartment.
Soon enough, however, you began to haunt his dreams as well. He would have terrible nightmares of you coming back from the dead and murdering him in cold blood, just as he had done to you, and then, when he awoke, you were standing in the corner of his room.
It wasn't just his brain making shapes out of things to scare him. It was you. He could see clear as day; the moonlight illuminated your face, your once innocent and naive eyes now staring at him with hate and malice.
Patrick Hockstetter didn't believe in ghosts, but he believed in you.
"Dude, what's your fuckin deal?" Henry asked, snapping Patrick out of his thoughts. Patrick looked over at Henry from his spot, splayed out on the hood of Belch's car, which he had objected to until Patrick threatened him. The four boys were hanging around at the quarry, drinking beer as music blasted through Amy.
"What?" Patrick questioned, hostility lacing his voice. Who did Henry think he is speaking to him like that?
"You're not even listening, man," Henry complained, attempting to throw a crumpled up beer can at him but missing.
"Maybe because you fuckers don't have anything interesting to say," Patrick shrugged, looking to his left at the water and tuning their conversation out again.
You had been on his mind non-stop. All he could think about was your eyes. They were so real. That look of hate— he had seen it before in his mother and father after he killed his little brother Avery. He couldn't have imagined that so vividly.
"Do I scare you?" A familiar voice asked, voice a mere whisper as a breeze tickled his ear. He quickly turned and saw you. You were sitting right next to him on the hood of Belch's car, and this time, he was sure he wasn't imagining it. You were there in broad daylight. He had heard you. He had felt your breath across his ear.
But how was this even possible.
"What the fuck!" He shouted, genuine fear in his voice. He felt something he had never felt before as he tried to shuffle away from you, but there was nowhere left to go, so he ended up falling off the car and onto the ground.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, man?" Victor asked, his eyebrows furrowing in pure confusion as he registered the panic and fear— he had never seen Patrick exhibit such emotions, and he could tell by the look in Patrick's eye that they were not fake.
Patrick couldn't hear Vic over the sound of your laugh. It was so loud, deafening even, and it made his ears ring. You hopped off the car and walked toward him slowly with a sickening grin.
"Why are you doing this to me?" He asked, scrambling backward, pebbles and rocks digging into his palms as he tried to escape you.
"Because," she stepped forward, leaning down and grabbing his faded yellow Tom and Jerry t-shirt by the collar. He felt her grab him. It was all real. "I can," she spat viciously. And just as quickly as she appeared, she was gone.
"Are you alright, man?" Belch asked, genuine concern lacing his voice as his brows knitted together. Why had his friend been acting so strange?
"I-I need to get out of here," Patrick spoke quickly as he rushed to his feet, dusting off his clothes and looking around frantically.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Henry cackled, taking a long sip of his beer. Patrick gave him a hard, warning glare that confused Henry. What did he do?
Patrick took off running into the forest, driven by a pure, unbridled fear as he tried to escape you, but the faster he ran, the louder your laugh became. It echoed all around him. It was everywhere and nowhere all at once. He clamped his hands over his ears and screwed his eyes shut.
It's not real. It's not real. It's not real.
And then, just like that, it stopped. He slowly opened his eyes and removed his hands from his ears, peering around the woods. He heaved a sigh of relief as he realized it was over.
It wasn't real.
You weren't real.
He took his time walking back home, stopping and tormenting a few animals on his way to relieve some of the stress that had built up from the games his mind had played on him.
By the time he arrived home, the sun had long disappeared below the horizon, replaced by the luminous glow of the full moon. He pushed the front door open, kicking his muddy boots off by the front door before shrugging his leather jacket off and tossing it onto the floor.
"Ma!" He called into the oddly silent house. He advanced forward, his eyebrow arching as he didn't get a response. "Ma, I'm home!" He tried again, still no answer. He continued through the house into the kitchen, hoping to find something to eat.
As his eyes scanned the kitchen, a tiny post-it note stuck to the fridge caught his attention. He took two long strides and ended up in front of it. Grabbing it off the fridge, his eyes scanned it.
Gone to see your father. Be back in a few days. I left some lasagna in the fridge for you to heat up and some money on the table for pizza or something in case you eat all of it.
Love, Mom
Patrick scoffed, crumpling the post-it into a ball and tossing it into the trash. Patrick's father was arrested for attempted murder when Patrick was young.
After Patrick killed his brother Avery, his father went mad and tried to kill Patrick. He claimed that Patrick was evil, and the world needed to be rid of him. Fortunately for Patrick, his mother still loved him (he had no idea why she still did after what he had done), and she called the police.
The paramedics arrived in time, and Patrick was saved. Though the attack did leave a raised scar on his stomach that never went away.
Patrick pulled a plate out of the top cupboard and a fork out of the drawer before opening up the fridge. He grabbed a can of Coke and the large glass dish with lasagna out. Deciding he didn't feel like waiting for it to heat up, he just used his fork to pick the pre-portioned slice of lasagna out of the dish and drop it onto his plate before sliding the rest back into the fridge for later.
Grabbing his beverage and dinner, he began making his way up the creaky steps that led to the second floor.
The carpet that had previously adorned it had been ripped up when his mom was having one of her overly energized and productive moments, so staples and other sharp objects stuck up from the dirty wood. He was careful to avoid them.
He reached the door at the end of the hall with a yellow sign that read DO NOT ENTER and swung the door open.
"Finally," a voice sounded, causing him to drop both his can and his plate. The sharp sound of glass breaking followed by a loud thud echoed through the room as the plate and soda can collided with the floor.
"No, no, no," Patrick shook his head, shutting his eyes. "This isn't real. I killed you. You're not here. You're not real."
"Sorry, babe," the voice, your voice, whispered into his ear. Your warm breath fanned his ear, and he felt his whole body tense. "I'm very much real."
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Tags : @fatfagsj @brokenloverr24
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vidyagamereference · 5 months
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I have so many feelings about touchstarved character design pt 1 Kuras
So! First lets talk about how his whole outfit is just.... yassified priests garb. Like... the collar, the long sleeves, the "tabbard" straps, the gold. Its all very.... 3 peice suit high fashion is eating a catholic Fathers robes and a protestant Preists robes at the same time. Like the whole suit to me drips power.
Lets count off the different things that imply power to his outfit
Gold and stark white fabric (hard to clean and hard to find)
WELL TAILORED suit (high fashion)
J E W E L E R Y
Religious leader symbolism (Christian)
Fucking EPAULETS???
The hair (weird one but in animated/drawn mediums royalty tends to have longer hair)
If yall told me there was 1 person from Hightown (rich people land) and everyone else was from somewhere else and ONLY showed me the character lineup I'd pick Kuras as the hightowner tbqh.
More analysis under the break
Lets look at his "circles"
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I dont have anywhere else to put this so... epaulets look like wings sleeves also imply wings. Makeup = crying gold. Gold bodily fluids = ichor. Ichor = divinity. that is all
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A list of imperfect/broken circles/halos on kuras
There's attempted circles with his belts (inturrupted by his buckles and almost always at least two [i'll get to the one on his chest]). The buckles around his thigh in particular remind me of slashed circles.
There is an attempted circle on his chest (implying a flase homesty if you like the theory that veres chest is open bc hes more honest and kuras's is covered because hes more of a lier) that is left open by way of the empty preists collar. Like something religious was taken away. Its highly decorated so i think were ment to see it
The epaulets have some shape language of wings and halos imho and they also continue the trend of doubled up circuits (these are too angular to be circles but square triangular halos were in fact a thing)
His earrings are rayed halos (halos that have sunlight/sunbeams coming off of it) but even they somehow seem inturrupted by his ears when looking at how theres never a perfect circle. Another example of doubling round things
The golden cords on his hip (princely) are also imperfect circles and doubled up round things
What do the doubling up of round things (and honestly most things in some way or another. Makeup, vials on his chest, aprony tabbardy strappy things) mean? I dont know for sure but I'd wager its hinting at a few things
Broken halo
His Angelic body structure (see also: belt talk below)
A duality to his nature
Actually on the topic of halos he seems to imply a lot of shapes of halo! He obviously has the thin circular outline ones (for old testament prophets, angels, saints, Mary, and the symbol of the four evangelists according to Wikipedia), the triangle (less prominently) which is for The Holy Trinity (god jesus and the holy spirit),
and somewhat also (weirdly) square halos. Which was for.... *checks notes* celebrities who wanted to be painted like their blorbo jesus and friends... dont beleive me? Look at the fancy "not a belt buckle" thing he has and if its NOT giving painting frame I'll eat it.
Looking at the belt buckle square halo thing again it has been crossed out which makes me think that maybe kuras hates the rich and idolitry (komrade Kuras)
Another word for halo is glorihole. That is apropos of nothing i just had to learn that and yall do too now. Youre welcome
Anyways back on the topic
His too many belts moment at the hips really makes me think of the standard idea of a biblically accurate angel. Yknow. Rings of eyes around a central flame are a common depiction, the hidden rings on the inside are studded to look like false eyes to me. Especially so hidden behind a decorative false belt
The hiding of so much black (another dye reserved for royalty) under such pristine white makes me think hes lying to us, or at best putting up a facade.
THE ABOVE BEING SAID he only has two stripes of true black, the rest is a humble brown. And the belts look like theyre holding something in. I think theres a third layer to him
Layer 1: The Good Doctor Kuras Of Lowdown. Friends? You mean people im around so nobody suspects I'm not human! Yes i am human man and i eat human food!
Layer 2 possibilty a: MWAAHAHAHAHAHA I AM EEEEVILLLLLLL A FALLEN ANGEL!!! THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED ISNT IT?!?! [Edgelore noises] [terrified screams of those who just realized this edgelord could kill us all]
Layer possibly b: this is the [insert accurate adjective here] of a killer bell- I MEAN MC. emotions. Like 300 gallons of them in one sitting. Possible 0 sum game. More likely hes a living nuke and will Go Off somehow
Layer 3: hey I'm feeling less catholic guilt can i still go sorta wild ish and not be eeeevillll? And also maybe kiss? Also I'm not actually baby I'm just unsure of how to be myself in this new way will you help me figure it out [happy ending noises]
So yeah tell me if i missed anything :]
@hollana
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bat-connoisseur · 1 year
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The thing that bothers me the most about the whole 'feathered dinosaurs look stupid!' or 'not scary' debate is that... They were real animals. These were actual real animals.
They aren't movie monsters or fictional creatures who are conciously designed by someone, they were real and shaped by their environment. Natural and sexual selection 65 million years ago didn't care what some random human thought looked cool, it cared about what allowed a species to survive long enough to reproduce, and it's so annoying that people treat them otherwise. Paleoart and reproductions of what they looked like are (generally) aiming for realism. You don't flip over a rock and chastise a salamander for not looking cool enough. And you don't ignore scientific evidence because you think that dinosaurs look cooler featherless and shrinkwrapped.
I know it can be hard to picture them as real animals because their presence is usually limited to media, occupying a similar place in people's minds to dragons perhaps, and with fictionalised stories of extreme violence. As much as I liked Jurassic Park, the leveraging of dinosaurs as horror monsters puts them in a similar place to fictional characters, and people treat them as such.
I need to emphasise- Dinosaurs weren't conciously designed. Dinosaurs weren't conciously designed. And getting upset at more realistic representations of them because you preferred how innacurate depictions looked is wrong, fustrating, and shows a deep misunderstanding of what a dinosaur is. Accurate science isn't there to create a cool monster. It's there to approximate what real animals looked like before we existed.
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I think the general idea for Batman (and DC/Marvel in general) canon is basically just the multiverse model. Like the mainline comics get respect for being the first one to exist, and of course you get the obnoxious idiots who whinge about how and deviation from the comics is Bad and Wrong, but otherwise the various different shows and movies are all their own seperate canons. Like BTAS Batman has his own canon, with only Dick and Tim as Robins and ending with him passing the Batman identity to Terry, but no one expects that to impact the comics. (Well, beyond massively popular characters from the other canons like Harley Quinn inevitably showing up in comics too.)
Basically, what I'm trying to say is that Batman as a story is big enough and has so many canons that it's really not unusual to be a Batman fan without ever reading the mainline comics.
It's an entry point thing. So take, I don't know, Middle Earth, for example. (Though technically, as broad as that phrasing is, even that isn't accurate because there are other places outside of Middle Earth that are still within the same universe. Don't come at me.)
There's capital C Canon, and that's the original books as penned by J.R.R. Tolkien (though even he dabbled in some metatextual rewriting with the retcon of the Ring between The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings but we won't get into THAT right now.) The world of Middle Earth as a whole was created starting in the 1930s as a piece of literature up through J.R.R. Tolkien's death in 1973.
From there, though, it gets trickier. The stories of Middle Earth et al have been transformed and added to in the intervening years. Bakshi created an animated movie in the late 1970s that, because it is told in a different medium, by necessity tells a slightly different story. Is that canon? The live-action trilogies from Peter Jackson in the 2000s and 2010s, those are again different and diverging stories from the books. Are those canon? What about the added materials from Christopher Tolkien, as revised and published from his father's materials by the estate? Are those canon? What about the Amazon Prime television series? The Veggietales movie? They're ALL "Middle Earth" and all likely have functioned as the initial entry point for someone and therefore ARE capital C Canon for someone, but by design or circumstance each displays a different version of events and characterization that will necessarily conflict in small or large ways.
With comic-based canon, it can be even more complicated because Hollywood has a habit of skinning comic properties and dressing up new little blorbos in the names of older comic characters. Even I know the Nolan Batman movies look noooooooooothing like the Silver Age Batman comics and the Birds of Prey Cassandra Cain has no relation at all to any other Canon or canon depiction of her, as far as I'm aware.
So, yes. "Batman as a story is big enough and has so many canons that it's really not unusual to be a Batman fan without ever reading the mainline comics" because defining canon in and of itself is such a HARD and complicated thing to do. And I also understand why folks with a much more simplistic and rigid definition of canon (aka, their own specific, personal entry point to the world and characters) can feel so weird when they encounter someone else with a different definition.
But also I think there's an argument to be made that when the Arbiters Of Official Canon (in this case, DC) have aggressively rebooted and rewritten THEIR OWN CANON so many times without regard for continuity or even inherent internal logic, then there is no absolute authority of Canon or canon and we can all do what we want with the understanding that when you or I or anyone else gripes about "canon" and "characterization" we're speaking only within our own pocket of the bramble.
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quitealotofsodapop · 3 months
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In the Wukongverse, who are the bigger Disney fans??
(asking since I've been on a metal Disney kick)
Smokey would rock Poor Unfortunate Souls by Jonathan Young but would get so into it he needs his Macaque cuddles afterwards to right his head (self demon issues, he is a hero but he also tricked people in the past and is on his journey to change and be good)
While Cherry on the other hand would hands down have fun singing Peyton Parrish's version of I'll make a man out of you since he just started his journey and his pilgrim brothers could use the advice.
The LMK Wukongs love themselves some animation goodness! Mostly to chill after a rough day. Wrap up in a blanket, stick on a film he's seen a million times, Eat some peach chips; he's a happy monkey.
LMK Macaques get distracted by the animation!! Cus? "Peaches look! They're using layered paintings to simulate movement!!" Their faves are Fantasia ( Original and 2000) naturally cus of the high animation quality set to classical music. Dawn/Peach walk in one day and find their Dusk/Plum on the ground crying while watching the cut Dali "Destino" segment.
MK's fave is "Treasure Planet". Try not to ask why or he will change the subject and switch on "Princess and the Frog".
Dasheng doesn't really care, but he watches them anyway cus Liuer and the rest of the kids really like them. He's embarassed to admit that he can sing every line of "Beauty and the Beast" perfectly. Also good date night movies - Zhanshi's fave are the fairytale romances. <3
Smokey don't care about the cartoons, but he does get down to the villain songs. Blasting "Poor Unfortunate Souls" and "Hellfire" so hard that his LEM has to step in to calm him down. Liang is more interested in the technical side of the works, but he just beams with joy whenever the babies chirp/bark excitedly at that opening logo. Shared fave is "The Little Mermaid" naturally (though Sandy argues that it's not an accurate depiction of sea fish demons).
Ace and Joker pretend that they don't care, but you know these goobers take the kids and grandkids to Disneyland whenever they have the excuse. Lots of the classics (since they just got made in their universe) and shared infodumping. Ace will send the other SWK's classic Donald Ducks and Goofy cartoons in the group chat without context.
Cherry and Olive are equally super excited cus "Moving paintings!! Heck yeah!". Cherry's faves are the og animated "Mulan" and "Lilo and Stitch" without question. The latter caught him by surprise cus it made him remember who he's always felt like "a weird little alien" on earth, and Lilo and Nani remind him of Lin. ;_; Olive is just delighted to watch anything Cherry is super-hyped about, and they both hoot happily at the tv together.
Shihou and Mihou are kids and they love cartoons no question. Shihou likes the Milt Kahl-era ones like "Sword in the Stone" and "The Jungle Book" cus he vibes with the themes of growing up, but he finds the romantic ones boring. Mihou in contrast secretly adores the classic "princess" movies like "Sleeping Beauty" and "Cinderella" cus of the sweet stories and music. Shihou will watch Mihou's "boring" films with him without complaint cus he knows how much his opal love them.
Sugar likes the "roadtrip" movies the most; "Atlantis", "Treasure Planet" etc. He's still technically on his Journey, and he loves hearing/seeing tales of others. Spice is pretty shy to voice his opinions but... he likes "Pinocchio" the best - the concept of being created and having to adapt to the world mostly-made tickles his brain in a good way.
Starfruit don't care. Why should he? He knows the real guys! He sees Peter Pan on the regular in the Library! Lilac is the complete opposite, they hold streaming parties with associated Legends to watch their "adaptations" and critique them based on accuracy vs execution. Starfruit joins in, only because he, Goldie, and Peter get to read the movies to filth in the group chat XD
Two movies that hold a place in all their hearts are:
Hercules: Themes of obtaining godhood, heroism, an unclear purpose, goth gf, and weird horses.
Moana: Island life, wanting to explore farther, doing what you can for your people, the inherit tragedy of demi-gods, the whole Te Kā situation...
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artist-issues · 2 months
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Hi! I've seen you comment a bit here and there about Pocahontas. This movie has had this quite messy reputation attached to it since it came out and hasn't been able to escape from it since then. Personally, I've always liked Pocahontas, but I do acknowledge that it has its glaring issues, especially when it comes to the context of what actually went down and Pocahontas's true story. I'm interested in reading your thoughts on the movie and what Disney could have done better regarding the whole "diversity" and historical accuracy thing. I genuinely believe Disney had the best of intentions when it came to the themes, message and depiction of Native American culture, but the execution unfortunately did not seem the most appropriate at times. What do you think?
I don’t know. I don’t have a settled opinion on Pocahontas. I will say I really enjoy it, and I think maybe the aesthetics of the movie are what appeal to me the most because it’s the one I want to have on in the background most often.
When you say “what Disney could’ve done better regarding the whole ‘diversity’ and historical accuracy thing” and “did not seem the most appropriate at times,” I don’t know if I understand what you mean. I don’t know if I understand what anyone means when they say that.
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There are almost zero cold hard facts about the historical Pocahontas that EXPERTS agree on. Almost zero. So when people say “oh no, it wasn’t historically accurate,” it’s like, “no, of course it’s not. It’s a fairy tale based on a historical person that we know very little about to begin with.” Seems like what they’re mainly mad about is that Historical John Smith’s version of Historical Pocahontas saving him is the framework for the animated film, and we all generally agree that his version was fake. And people are mad about that?
But…why? If it’s already supposed to be a fairy tale loosely inspired by a historical person we know very little about…I mean, nobody is furious with the Robin Hood stories and going “how dare you misrepresent Robin of Lockersley, 1160, and King Richard I!!” Because we all know that they’re stories loosely based on—anyway. You get my point. Why would you have beef about a fairy tale being based loosely? Moving on.
You can say “because now generations of kids are growing up thinking that’s the real story of Pocahontas!! What an outrage!”
…All right, well, then you’re doing a terrible job teaching your kids discernment as a parent. When kids I’m responsible for watch a movie, I tell them “it’s a movie. It’s not real.” If it’s a movie about historical events, I tell them, “If you want to know more about the real story, let’s learn about the real story.” It’s not on Disney to teach your kids that a fairy tale is a fairy tale, it’s on you.
Anyway, you get it. Moving on.
Thing is, the Pocahontas movie’s message is “Love tries to understand, not to possess.” Great message. Especially good when applied to the problem of prejudice.
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So then, they just shift the events, the character motivations, and the depictions around as needed, like they would any fairy tale in order to send that message in the best way. And because it is a fairy tale, not a documentary, great. Do it.
If Historical John Smith’s fake story makes that message more compelling, great. Use pieces of it. Why not? After all, they never claimed that this was the true, accurate history of colonization, the Anglo-Powhatan war, or John Smith’s interactions with Pocahontas. If they had made that claim, sure, let’s talk about historical accuracy. But they didn’t, so let’s not.
That’s all I had to say about the “historical inaccuracies” thing. Now let’s talk about “representation.”
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What is it that people have an issue with here? Did they really want Disney to animate hundreds of Powhatan’s people dying of disease? Did they want Disney to animate heads getting chopped off and women getting raped? What’s the argument? That Disney should’ve made the colonists the clear and undeniable villains, the monsters of history, and the Native Americans 100% pure and innocent, wronged victims?
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They’re not mad that Disney did a bad job representing Native Americans in a movie that was supposed to be a fairy tale. They’re mad that Disney didn’t represent Native Americans the way they would’ve.
Far as my eyes can see, people who call Pocahontas racist or misrepresentative just don’t want the story to be “Love tries to understand, not to possess.” They want the story to be “White colonists were unredeemable racist monsters and sub-human tyrants who deserved to rot in hell, while the Native American people were entirely innocent victims who did nothing wrong.’
The problem is that’s just not a true, or even helpful message for any movie to have. Sorry. The statement I just typed out up there in bold is not a true or helpful statement. And thank God the Pocahontas movie didn’t make it.
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There’s nothing racist being said in the Pocahontas movie. There are depictions of the sin of racism in the Pocahontas movie. There is a difference. Characters in the Pocahontas movie talk and sing about each other as if the other people group is sub-human. That is a depiction of racism. But the message of the movie, and the way it treats Native Americans, is to treat them like human beings. Therefore, the message is not racist.
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In terms of who is good and who is bad, who is right and who is wrong, the movie very clearly shows that the Native American characters did not start the violence. The Native American characters did not want war. The Native American characters were willing to be friendly and willing to defend their land and each other. The Native American characters were the first to try and make peace with the colonist characters. And they were all (Kocoum included) entirely human characters. They were even the good-guy-coded characters, in the movie’s conflict. All of the Native American side characters are noticeably smarter, kinder, drawn more carefully, and are more heroic than the white characters. (When Thomas is thrown overboard the other white side characters leave him behind. In contrast, when Namonteck is shot the other Native American side characters rescue him immediately and fall back.) And, not a caricature among them. Meanwhile, Wiggins, Ben, and Lion are all drawn with exaggerated characteristics. The heroine is Pocahontas the Character, not John Smith the Character. So what is the issue you have?
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What people think is racist is the “idealization” of a Native American woman falling in love—or, as they like to say now—“committing herself to a white colonist.” But that’s like…a gross oversimplification of the movie. John Smith (the character) committed himself right back to her, nobody wants to talk about that? Also, they low key didn’t commit themselves to each other at all costs—he tries to, at the end of the movie, stay with her or have her come with him, and she won’t leave her home and her people?? So what’s the argument?
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Not to mention, why is anyone even upset that the character Pocahontas falls in love with a white colonist character? Are you saying that this sort of thing would never happen? That a young woman who’s people are embattled with and mistreated by invaders would never find one invader who comes to an understanding with her, and then they fall in love? You’re mad because that would never happen? Incorrect. It happened all the time in history. It happens all the time in other stories you love, like West Side Story.
Who the heck cares if it didn’t happen exactly that way (even though maybe it did) with the historical Pocahontas? We already established that this wasn’t supposed to be a historically accurate retelling, it was supposed to be a loosely-based fairy tale. And the message “Love tries to understand, not to possess,” works perfectly with a fairy tale where the girl from one side of a racially-charged hate war understands and falls in love with a guy from the other side.
I mean people who talk about Pocahontas, the historical figure, with reverence and respect, all usually agree on one thing: she did help maintain some kind of peace between colonists and Native Americans. Whether or not you think the colonists should’ve even been there in the first place is beside the point—sorry, but it is; they were there, now let’s deal with the reality.
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So when Disney makes a movie where the goal is to tell the message “Love tries to understand, not to possess,” and they have to be true to the universally-agreed-upon “Pocahontas probably helped bring some peace…” in their fairy tale…why on earth do you have a problem with Pocahontas the Character falling in love as a reason for bringing about that peace?
It’s because you don’t find “falling in love” to be anything other than demeaning for a woman. And it’s because you don’t want John Smith, or any white colonist character, to be depicted as human. You want them all to be unredeemable racist monsters.
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The goal is no longer to have movies that say what Pocahontas said. We don’t want movies where there’s messy racism, but then it ends with attempts at peace and understanding. We want movies where there’s entirely one-sided racism, and then revenge for that racism. That’s what we want. We want endless apologies and zero forgiveness.
And for better or worse, Pocahontas is not a movie about endless apologies and zero forgiveness.
IN CONCLUSION: 1. None of the “you” statements were directed at you, idiosyncraticrednebula. 🫡
2. Anyone who wants to teach me where I’m wrong is welcome to, but you have to show your work, and you have to be consistent, you can’t just say “lol imagine thinking Pocahontas isn’t racist. You are the problem.” and then block me. 🙄 all right, well, you can, but all you’ll get out of it is an echo chamber.
3. If you want me to talk about the art, the storytelling, the quality of the movie outside of all this (and it should be outside of all this, because this was a fairy tale, not a historically accurate documentary) it’ll have to be in a different ask, and I’m happy to.
4. Should Disney have made it more clear that this was a fairy tale, a stylized story based only loosely on historical events? …Yeah. Definitely should’ve done a Prince of Egypt-style title card or something. But they didn’t—so now show me why it’s racist or misrepresentative.
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ryunumber · 10 months
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Does Misa Satsukino (Gundam Breaker 3) have a Ryu number? [I don't know if this is against the rules because while it is a game it's very much based on an anime.]
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Misa Satsukino has a (Limited) Ryu Number of 3/does not have a Ryu Number.
(explanation below)
Gundam characters usually aren't too difficult to link given the series's long history with Super Robot Wars, but the key point here is that moreso than being a Gundam game, Gundam Breakers is more accurately a Gunpla game.
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Gunpla, of course, being the wildly popular model kits based on the titular mecha, and most importantly for this blog's purposes, not actually the mecha themselves.
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To that end, while the likes of Amuro are technically present in the recently shut down Gundam Breaker Mobile, they appeared as AI pilots you could assign to your Gunpla while participating in Gunpla battles, instead of the in-universe flesh-and-blood Gunpla nerds the game was ostensibly about.
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So in a sense, these pilots all "appear" in whatever game-like system the Gunpla battles take place in. But does that count as an appearance in Gundam Breaker Mobile alongside the actual Gunpla battlers?
While I'm generally pretty hard-nosed about not counting depictions that are fictional in-universe, which kinda comes part and parcel with the Gunpla conceit, the Twitter account's judgment on in-universe media appearances is "How lazy is it?". In that sense, you could make a decent case that this is worth carving out an exception for. They all came with their own set of stats and characteristics, they were all voiced, and while this is personal speculation, if the primary appeal of Gundam Breaker as a series is playing with Gundam models by assembling and battling with them, the secondary appeal of Gundam Breaker Mobile was getting your favorite characters to pilot said Gundam models. So in a sense, you could assert the in-universe Gunpla battles were the actual core of Gundam Breaker Mobile, and the story with the "real" characters were little more than periphery flavor.
Now, my gut is to keep being a hard-nose about the in-universe depiction thing separating the two levels of fictionality at play, but complicating matters is that the game also added its own story characters as AI pilots.
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So now there's characters that exist in both the fictional universe of Gundam Breaker Mobile and the artificial Gunpla battle system that exists within the fictional universe of Gundam Breaker Mobile. Are those the same character and character appearance within Gundam Breaker Mobile? I don't know, this is the exact situation I try to avoid with Extended Ryu Numbers and real ass people, just wrapped around another layer of fictionality. (Which itself could imply that, if you take the dubious step of extending the Gundam Breaker Mobile universe by asserting that other fiction beyond Gundam exists almost exactly as it does in real life, these characters have in-universe Ryu Numbers, which has to be by far the most ridiculous phrase I have ever seen fit to post.)
Not complicated enough for you? There's also AI pilots from Gundam Breaker Battlogue, the tie-in ONA for Gundam Breaker, which naturally includes Misa herself.
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Honestly, if I'm twisting myself into this many Gordian knots just to establish some basic ground truths, I may as well cut it myself by saying that yeah, sure, she can have a Ryu Number if you want. It might even be Limited, going by when the Misa AI pilot was available. I don't know. Embrace and reject nuance simultaneously.
(Also, there's multiple Haros don't fucking @ me)
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fairygeek777 · 7 months
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Sometimes the colors of both anime drive me nuts.
I swear sometimes I get the urge to grab every Princess Serenity screenshot I can find and paint over her blonde hair with a white brush. I swear Crystal only did it too because the 90s anime did and they didn't want to confuse viewers. Same dang thing happened with Luna's and Artemis' eyes. 90s made Art's blue and Luna's red so Crystal made Luna's red. Even though Takeuchi always drew Art with green eyes and Luna with blue eyes. How hard is it to follow Naoko Takeuchi's references? She clearly shows the color pallette for these characters in all her art.
Princess Serenity in both anime: Blonde.
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Princess Serenity Every Single Time Naoko Takeuchi Draws Her: White Glistening Ethereal Hair
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Eternal is the only anime content to accurately depict Princess Serenity.
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Usagi Tsukino is blonde because she's a human.
Princess Serenity has white hair because she's the daughter of the moon goddess. Because she's the moon princess.
She's not human and therefore doesn't look like one. That's why she caught Prince Endymion's attention so quickly.
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sims2bellaswan · 2 years
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the emperor’s main course [Zhongli x Reader]
[sfw]
[tw: arranged marriage, depictions of anxiety]
your arranged marriage to the heir to the throne exceeds whatever expectations you previously had. [GN READER]
AO3 VER
Nerves ran your ragged mind thin, foretold by the sorry state of your nail beds. You paced in the bridal chamber, decorated with silk flowers and qingxin. The undergarments you were tied into were hardly comfortable enough for all this anxiety.
To say you were nervous to meet your future husband would be a gross understatement. You are not nervous, that emotion eludes you now. You are terrified. Zhongli was set to become emperor after his marriage to you and, supposedly, he was eager to get it done and over with. You have yet to meet him, as the entire prenuptials were handled by your parents. Having your head filled with gossip and stories of your ladies in waiting, your chest only grew tighter. Your bare feet shook on the hard tile, hurting only now while your mental spiral was at its lowest. 
Before you could sit, though, a whirlwind of handmaidens and servants bustled in. You’re caught in the tidal wave of busy bodies and their prodding hands won’t let you escape. 
Before you know it, you’re in front of him. Zhongli is sharp, like he was cut from stone. His amber eyes gaze just over you, betraying no emotion. It almost makes you cry. Despite your fear, your nerves, and the bleeding cuticles on the hands he held, you still wanted him to care, somewhat. You swallowed hard. You’re getting married while he’s in a trade meeting, you must remember that.
Even through his vows, he remains emotionless. You, however, hold back choking sobs as you profess what your love will be.
The party continued with you in a daze. With a menagerie of colors and a cacophony of sound, your family tried their best to keep you looking lively. You would’ve much rather just sit.
As the banquet died down, your nerves piqued again. 
Your mother took you back to the bridal chamber. While she tried her best to quell your worries about the wedding night, you couldn’t help but stare at the flowers placed in vases and scattered amongst the bed. A pain in your stomach grew. 
Zhongli returns to you, not long after your mother parted, with the same cold, calculating gaze he left with. 
Alone in the cavernous with him, you can feel his guard soften. His sharp corners dull to blunt edges. This time when he takes a gentle step towards you, he feels like a caretaker approaching a wounded animal, as opposed to the conqueror you saw earlier. 
“You look ravishing.” His simple words, guided by his low tone, take you by surprise. With wide eyes, your lips part to say something. You cannot find words that accurately describe how you feel anymore. You were overwhelmed and dismayed, not exactly with Zhongli but your thoughts always found him at the root. 
Wherever your thoughts begin and end, the emperor seems to hold little regard for your feelings at the moment. 
A broad hand envelopes your wrist, warmth flooding your skin. As his hand tightens, you can pick up the scent of his cologne: star anise, mint and other herbs you can’t quite name. The notes waft around you incense smoke; though you cannot clearly see it, his fragrance flies in ribbons around your head. 
It makes you more comfortable when he pulls you closer, his other hand taking your free one while the one holding your wrist moves to intertwine with your fingers.
Your heart pounds. Heat overtakes your whole body as you avert your gaze. 
He doesn’t notice, pressing a long kiss to your hairline. Zhongli places your one hand on his shoulder, so he can wrap his arm at your waist. 
Bottom lip trembling, you struggle to find something to say. But, with a shaky, quiet voice, you finally mumble, “I’m sorry.”
He’s quick to respond. “For what?”
“That you had to marry me.”
He’s quiet for a moment and you feel like you’ve said something wrong. His entangled fingers squeeze a bit tighter. Your brows furrow, letting out a shaky sigh. “I apologize, I didn’t mean it in any-”
“Ah,” he cuts you off. “While, yes, I had to marry.” Zhongli pulls away. The arm around your waist moves, his hand now lifting your chin up to him. You watch his eyes give your ashamed face an appraising once-over.  “I did not need much to pick you.”
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animehouse-moe · 7 months
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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....
You're all good! This is the first time I've been asked this. I'm usually terrible with favorites so I always feel like I don't pick the "best" in hindsight, but I'll try to be as accurate as possible. These will also be in no particular order since they all occupy such different areas.
(edit: I just realized in my incredible morning brain state that this said male or female, but I only read the female part haha. So this is just the female lineup, I guess).
Iwakura Lain - Serial Experiments Lain
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Lain's a character that has, and will always remain enigmatic. Subjectivity and personal experience remain intertwined with works like Serial Experiments Lain, so what each individual takes away from it will change. Personally, what makes me love Lain is her desperation to communicate, to connect with the people around her. To make friends, to do fun things with them, to understand the people that comprise her life. But that desire spirals, she gets absorbed (like so many do) and becomes something else entirely. Fracturing and separating herself, spreading those instances across the internet in a desperate way to connect. For existing prior to essentially all forms of social media, it depicts the struggle and addiction that trouble countless people in freakishly accurate fashion.
Iwakura Mitsumi - Skip and Loafer
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Had to put them next to each other on this list haha. Iwakura Mitsumi though. I don't hate the approach of a lot of Shojosei in terms of high school slice of life/romance, but I find much more to love with the more grounded ones than the more fantastical, just a personal preference. Anyways, Mitsumi. She's just the perfect representation of high school life. A dash of confidence, a good bit of deep seated anxiety, lots of stress over school and friends, but a positive and hopeful outlook in spite of her stumbling and struggles that's wonderfully accented by blossoming feelings of love. She just occupies a space that is very rare these days, so of course I love her.
Ryougi Shiki - The Garden of Sinners
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Okay, hot take since (spoiler) Saber's not going to be on the list. I just haven "completed" Saber's story if that makes sense. I've read a lot, experienced a lot, but I haven't gotten 100% of it like I have with Shiki. That said, Shiki's story. I mean, as a character they're so damn hard to really capture. After all, there's more than one of them, and their story is told through the experiences of others. Shiki as a character, and The Garden of Sinners as a series, just holds a special place in my heart as Nasu's first real creative work that remains untethered by the requirements of a visual novel. If Nasu's work on the VNs is the base level, then The Garden of Sinners stands a cut above from start to finish.
Hatsuseno Alpha - Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou
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A robot that is startlingly human, but surprisingly childlike. Alpha was is just the perfect vehicle to experience YKK through. Vast understanding and interest, but meaningful naivete and curiosity. She explores a world peacefully accepting its death, and is able to pull such beautiful moments from it. She doesn't struggle or bemoan the end, but rather takes it in stride and focuses on the beauty of humanity, how it's adapted, what's been lost and what's been created in its stead. It brings it all together under this character that is so deeply passionate about exploring life even under these circumstances, that you can't help but feel an indescribable warmth in her story.
Biwa - Heike Monogatari
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Okay, maybe I'm cheating a little bit with Biwa here, but it's just a character that I think is incredibly beautiful. Witnessing the murder of her father, she's taken in by a clan doomed to death, where a man possesses a similar ability to Biwa. Together, she struggles to create the family she never had, all the while forced to come to terms with their deaths. She fights tooth and nail to keep them alive, but her attempts are futile. In the end, she is given her adoptive father's ability and completes what one might call the "cycle". Seeing life and death, the eternal struggle that will never change, she experiences her life, her family, her future and past to its fullest, and commits her life to telling the story of the Heike that she was so fond of. It's a beautiful story centered around Biwa's experiences, and her fear of death and not having a family, truly wonderful stuff. Also Aoi Yuuki kills it as Biwa.
Kusanagi Motoko - Ghost In The Shell
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This was baby's first big kid series for me. I'd always watched anime here and there, but mostly things like Bleach/Naruto/DBZ. Ghost in The Shell was the first really big series I'd dip my toes into via those 4 minute YouTube videos at 480p. Kusanagi's nature as the bridge between technology and humanity is endlessly explored and just such a great idea, that through the countless (good) iterations, there's a wealth of her to experience. Undoubtedly an iconic series, and one that's certainly remembered very fondly by me.
Kirigoe Mima - Perfect Blue
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Mima's an incredible character driven to the psychological breaking point. Under the scrutiny and pressure of being an idol, the facade begins to crack and what seeps out from the gaps is nothing short of incredible. Satoshi Kon remains a wizard in what he did with his works, and for me, Mima's character in Perfect Blue is the pinnacle of that. An implicit story of the stress and strain placed on idols (and the entertainment industry at large) by those that string them up and sell the souls of these girls, Perfect Blue and Mima remain in a realm of their own in a lot of ways.
Nozomi - Sonny Boy
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Well as they say, the proof is in the pudding, and the pudding in this case is Nozomi's name. Translating from Japanese it means "wish" or "desire" in English, and is the personification of Nozomi's role in Sonny Boy. As close to a catalyst as one can be, she spurs on the wishes of the characters around her, providing the foundation for our main character Nagara to grow and develop. In the end, the desires of each individual can be connected to Nozomi, even in her death. She's arguably more central to the plot of Sonny Boy than Nagara, so of course I see her as a deeply special character.
Kamikoshi Sorawo - Otherside Picnic
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A somewhat different pick to help round out the list. Sorawo Kamikoshi, and Otherside Picnic at large, are certainly things that I don't think most people would fall in love with. But I did. The vitriol that her character expresses, the toxicity and self hatred and destruction. Her character is a very damaging and "bad" one, but that's what I love about it. There's no grand scheme behind Sorawo's personality, or any ideal that her character chases. She follows the whims and curiosities of her life as she willingly casts herself into the abyss of the Otherside alongside Toriko, and along the way, she learns to slowly grow and improve as a person while maintaining her core personality.
Osaki Nana - Nana
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The duality of Nana as a character is just so well done to me. A character with two sides isn't anything special, but I think the way that Yazawa approaches her as a character, and introduces those cracks in her façade and the struggle that they represent is just really, really good. It has me really desperate for Yazawa to return from hiatus and continue on with Nana.
And that's the list. I know I've left off characters like Tohru or other massively popular (and well written) leads and characters from shojosei series, but a lot of what I desire out of a character can't quite be found in a lot of what ends up popular and translated (and what I tend to remember) I feel. If you take a look at the list, for example, you'll find that the majority of my favorites are from older series, as well as ones that feature more "tragic" or "twisted" characters. Personally, I find a flower most beautiful after you've understood how it's wilted and withered before it fights to bloom once more. Endless blooms that grant an eternal summer are undeniably beautiful, but that beauty tends to lack context and in turn can become simplicity. So that's my list, as imperfect and everchanging as it is. If I'm asked once more in a year, it will probably look startlingly different, but that's how these things will go with me.
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animemocha · 9 months
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Anime's Greatest Chad: The Epic of Gilgamesh (Fate)
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Gilgamesh is known as mankind's first hero.
But his story isn’t limited to just the Fate series. In fact, it’s shaped our modern lives more than you could ever imagine. 
If you’re here for a historically accurate depiction of the man who tried to conquer death, don’t leave. I’ve worked really hard to make this as accurate as possible.
And if you’re here for the story of the real anime Gigachad, and how he goes from an arrogant dictator to a benevolent king.
Then grab a drink and some snacks, because this, is the tale of the Hero of Heroes.
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Roots of the King
Before we jump into the Epic of Gilgamesh, it’s worth taking a second to understand the roots of this iconic character and his influence on human culture and literature.
Mesopotamia was a region in 3100 BC, now covered by Iraq, Syria, and Turkey. It had its fair share of events, from the reigns of Sumerians and Akkadians to being eventually conquered by Alexander the Great in 332 BC.
But nestled within this timeline is a certain story that’s so profound, so raw, it's been echoing for millennia.
Now I know what you’re thinking.
"I'm here for anime, not a history lesson."
But the thing is, all evidence points to Gilgamesh actually existing 5000 years ago. And his legend is recorded in mankind’s oldest poem, the Epic of Gilgamesh.
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The epic is thought to have been orally transmitted for generations before it was finally written down on clay tablets in the cuneiform script, which was one of the earliest systems of writing.
To put into context how old that is, it makes him almost 3000 years older than Jesus. 
But I wouldn’t take EVERYTHING that follows as being literal. Just know that some of the stuff is actually reported to have happened.
The Hero of Heroes
Gilgamesh is known as the King of all Heroes because every single myth that followed, every story, every legend from every culture and every religion in every country, it all borrows inspiration from mankind’s first hero.
The strongest examples of this are in the Biblical tale of Noah and the Greek myth of Hercules. And his story greatly influences modern literature too, like The Lord of the Rings and A Game of Thrones.
The story of the Epic of Gilgamesh was discovered on 12 clay tablets found among the ruins of the ancient library of Ashurbanipal, the last great king of the Neo-Assyrian Empire.
These tablets, inscribed with cuneiform script, are dated to around the 7th century BC but are believed to preserve much older stories that were likely first told orally and later written down.
These ancient tablets provide the most comprehensive version of the epic, but parts of the tale also appear on other scattered fragments found at different ancient sites across the Middle East.
There are actually two versions of Gilgamesh in the Fate series and they’re technically different people.
Well, they’re not, but they kind of are. 
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Archer Gilgamesh
We’re in the year 2800 B.C., the Age of the Gods, where divine beings and humans walked the Earth together.
Some Gods were just, while others treated their subjects as slaves.
One day, a greater god called Sefar invaded the Earth, killing many of the Gods.
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She was eventually defeated, but the damage was already done, and the rule the gods had over the humans had severely weakened.
In order to preserve their rule, the gods needed a keystone, a Wedge of Heaven that connected the rising humans to the fading gods.
That keystone was Gilgamesh.
Born from the Goddess Ninsun and the Human King Lugalbanda, Gilgamesh was two-thirds God, and one-third human, and ruled over humanity with the mission to observe and adjudicate.
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The Fortress City
The city Gilgamesh ruled over was called Uruk, situated in present-day Iraq.
Yet, Uruk was far from ordinary.
It stood as a testament to human achievement, its towering walls not just architectural marvels but also echoes of the ambitions of its people.
Conceived under the watchful eye of Gilgamesh, these walls became more than mere defensive structures; they symbolised humanity's victory over nature. This audacious statement reflected Gilgamesh's own beliefs: that he stood above nature itself.
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As evidence of its profound legacy, archaeologists pinpoint Uruk as one of humanity's earliest urban epicentres, with roots as deep as 4000 BCE. Its intricate temples, ziggurats, and canal systems all serve as relics of its storied past.
The Tyrannical King
This transcendence over nature, and the very walls that proclaimed it, became the lens through which Gilgamesh viewed himself.
To him, the limitations of divinity and humanity were but mere lines in the sand.
He believed that while no human could rival the gods, the gods themselves could never experience the complexities of human existence.
And since Gilgamesh was both human and God, he perceived himself not just above his subjects, but even the deities that breathed life into him.
His self-awareness was, in many ways, his crowning achievement.
Gilgamesh grew to become a cruel, arrogant, and oppressive tyrant who subjugated his people to forced labour and sexual abuse.
And just to be clear, I’m downplaying that a lot because even I don’t want to talk about some of the disgusting things he is historically reported to have done.
And it makes me wonder how he ever became a Heroic Spirit in the first place.
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The Man Made of Clay
Naturally, the gods didn’t want this, but they couldn’t exactly do anything about it because, well, Gilgamesh just wouldn’t submit to them.
So instead, the King of God’s Anu, and the Goddess of Creation Aruru, created a monster out of clay called Enkidu, to punish the arrogant king.
But there was a problem.
You see, Enkidu didn’t have a soul, and so couldn’t make rational decisions.
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So the gods sent a divine harlot to sleep with him. (And I’m not even joking.) 
After this, Enkidu takes human form, and his final appearance is very similar to the girl he slept with. And that’s why he has such a feminine form.
(It’s definitely not because having more hot girls leads to more sales)
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Noble Phantasm's
Before we dive into what happened between Gilgamesh and Enkidu, let’s talk about Gilgamesh’s powers, or more specifically, Archer Gilgamesh’s powers.
In Fate, heroic spirits have Noble Phantasms, which are special weapons or abilities that embody the legend of that hero. For example, King Arthur’s Noble Phantasm, or rather, Artoria’s Noble Phantasm (Again, because more hot girls = more sales), is Excalibur, the sword of promised victory.
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Gilgamesh has a lot of Noble Phantasms, and I mean, A LOT. It would take me a decade to cover them all, but I’ll talk about a few.
Sha Naqba Imuru:
The first is his ability Sha Naqba Imuru, or Clairvoyance, which lets him see into the future and see the truth of anything he looks at.
So in a fight, he knows exactly who his opponent is, what their abilities are, and how best to defeat them. Or if he’s playing chess, then he knows the correct move every time.
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This ability is pretty OP but the thing is, Gilgamesh barely uses it.
Why?
Because he’s an arrogant prick.
He believes himself to be so powerful, that he doesn’t even need it most of the time.
And uhm… he’s kinda right...
Especially when you learn about his next Noble Phantasm.
The Gate of Babylon:
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During his time as ruler of Uruk, Gilgamesh amassed every single weapon on Earth and stored them all in his treasury.
And I genuinely mean, every single weapon.
And the Gate of Babylon allows him to choose whichever weapon he wants, whenever he wants, wherever he wants. 
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But that’s not how Gilgamesh uses it...
Every single weapon is fired out at a speed of Mach 10, and he has so many, that he could go his entire life firing them away without having to use a single one twice.
What makes this ability even more OP, is that these weapons aren’t just ordinary weapons. Every single one of them is a Noble Phantasm in itself. Artoria’s Excalibur, Lancer’s Gae Bolg, Hercules’ Nine Lives, Gilgamesh has all of these weapons in his treasury.
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But how is that possible if these heroes came AFTER Gilgamesh?
Well. That’s because they’re prototypes. 
I mentioned earlier that almost every legend told today is in some way inspired by the Epic of Gilgamesh. And in the same way, every weapon used today has a design that is somehow based on those in his treasury.
He owns every weapon that existed and owns every weapon that is yet to exist.
And don’t get me wrong.
While they’re technically prototypes, it is said that if you compare the original weapon to Gilgamesh’s prototype, the original will look like a fake, that’s how well-made the prototype is.
Not only that, but in a fight, the prototype will beat the original every time.
Now that doesn’t mean that if Gilgamesh were to use Excalibur and fight Artoria in a 1 on 1 swordfight that he would win.
He’d probably lose.
And that’s because he’s a jack of all trades but master of none.
Gilgamesh is a brilliant swordsman. But these other heroic spirits have spent their entire lives mastering a single weapon, and thus can use them to their full potential, which Gilgamesh cannot.
That being said. Gilgamesh DOES have one weapon that only he can use, one so powerful that it defies reality itself. Buuuuut I’ll talk about that later.
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The Great Battle
Enkidu eventually confronts Gilgamesh outside of the Temple of Uruk, stating that he needed to be punished for disobeying the gods.
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But Gilgamesh isn’t one to let anyone talk down on him.
So he engages Enkidu in a battle that lasts days on end.
And this was pretty new to Gil. It was the first time he ever came across someone equal in strength to him, which forced him to use his Gate of Babylon.
Gilgamesh was furious that someone had caused him to waste his weapons, he was humiliated.
But eventually, he stopped caring, and he even started to enjoy himself after finally finding someone worthy to be in his presence.
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This battle lasted so long and was so fearsome that Gil exhausted every single weapon in his treasury, but by this point, Enkidu was severely weakened and Gilgamesh had won.
But instead of finishing him off, Gilgamesh extended a hand to him.
He saw Enkidu as an equal, and Enkidu ended up becoming Gil’s first friend, his only friend.
Friendship
One day, Gilgamesh set his sights upon defeating the Beast of the God’s, Humbaba.
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But the thing is, the God’s hadn’t told him to do this, and he wasn’t doing it for the sake of his people either, because, well… he didn’t care about them.
Gilgamesh simply saw Humbaba as something that needed to be removed from the Earth in order to see out his mission.
Gilgamesh had always disobeyed the God’s so that he could be far removed from them, and he wanted his people to hate him so that he could be far removed from them, because that was the only way he could be truly neutral, because that was the mission for which he was born.
In this sense, you could argue that the reason that Gilgamesh was such an abhorrent dictator, was because he didn’t want to get close to his subjects, so that he could remain impartial.
(I don’t know how much truth there is to that and it could simply be a result of the story being altered as it was passed from generation to generation.)
Either way, seeing Gilgamesh’s resolve, Enkidu pledges his loyalty to him, and the two go on numerous adventures together, which ends with Gilgamesh becoming the wealthiest and most powerful king on Earth.
He amassed so much power that even the gods had no choice but to acknowledge it. One Goddess in particular, Ishtar, the Goddess of Fertility, asked Gilgamesh to marry her.
The King's Loss
Marrying a Goddess was actually one of Gilgamesh’s duties as it would see the continued reign of the gods over the humans, but Gilgamesh said no.
Enraged, Ishtar went to her father Anu, and asked him to unleash the Divine Beast Gugalanna on Uruk.
This divine beast devastated the lands for 7 years before Gilgamesh and Enkidu were finally able to defeat it. But this came at a price.
Ishtar asked the gods to sentence Gilgamesh and Enkidu to their deaths. While the Gods agreed, they couldn’t do anything to Gil, but they could to Enkidu, because he was their direct creation. 
Enkidu’s clay body weakened and weakened until it would eventually return to the very Earth from which it had come.
Gilgamesh stayed by his friend's side until the very end.
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While this event is not shown directly shown in the anime, it is mentioned in the original Sumerian poem from three thousand years ago, translated as follows:
“It saddens me. It saddens me, Gil. Who would understand you after I die? Who else would march by your side? My friend… when I think you will live on all alone henceforth, I can’t help but shed tears. But don’t be saddened. For I am but another of your treasures.” - Enkidu
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It’s honestly a rather heartbreaking end to their friendship.
One would have thought that the arrogant and prideful King of Heroes would have had a rather stoic response. But history says otherwise:
"You do have worth. You alone have this worth. I hereby declare: In all this world, only one shall be my friend. Thus---not for all eternity shall his worth ever change." - Gilgamesh
And with this, Enkidu returned to the Earth, leaving nothing behind but Gilgamesh's thunderous cry.
And for those of you who have watched Fate Zero, you’ll know that Gilgamesh kept this promise, even thousands and thousands of years later.
The Herb
After Enkidu’s death, Gilgamesh realised something.
As he was one-third human, he too would one day die.
If this were to happen, he would not be able to fulfil his dream of watching over humanity until the end of time, and it also meant he would not be able to carry out his purpose as the Wedge of Heaven.
And thus, for the first time in his existence, the king of heroes felt fear.
And this brings us to the core of the ancient Sumerian poem.
Gilgamesh, wanting to beat death, set out on a journey to find the only treasure that he didn’t have in his vault—the Herb of Immortality.
What does this herb do?
Well, it’s in the name so figure it out for yourselves.
Gilgamesh wandered the Earth for several decades in search of this herb, and eventually, stumbles upon a wise sage in the underworld that guides him in the right direction.
Sure enough, Gil finds the herb and is absolutely euphoric, because he has just beaten death, and all that’s left for him to do, is return to Uruk, and see over his people until the end of time.
Before beginning his journey back home, Gil decides to wash off in a nearby spring, where he first places the herb on the ground. However, as fate would have it, a serpent stumbles upon the bathing Gilgamesh, and after seeing the herb, it eats it.
And a little fun fact. It’s thought that the Sumerians and many of the cultures that followed, believed that snakes have the ability to shed their skin because this serpent ate the herb of immortality, giving snakes the ability to be reborn.
Much like the biblical tale of Adam, Eve, and the serpent, this story serves as a stark reminder of life's impermanence and the inevitable reality of death.
By losing the herb, Gilgamesh confronts the bitter truth: immortality remains beyond human grasp.
After realising what happened, you’d think Gilgamesh would be upset, or that he would be outraged, but, he wasn’t.
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He realised that death was unavoidable and that by dying, he wasn’t abandoning his duty, he was completing it, because it was the most human thing he could do.
He realised that you didn’t die because you were human, but you were human because you died. 
And with his Sha Naqba Imuru, Gilgamesh was able to see into the future, and what he saw was exactly what he loved about the humans in the first place.
He saw the continued growth of the human race, the way their knowledge developed, and the way they used their resources to reach for the stars and beyond.
With this new outlook, Gilgamesh returned to Uruk as a changed man.
Caster Gilgamesh
While Archer Gilgamesh was an arrogant tyrant that did disgusting things, Caster Gilgamesh was kind, generous, and benevolent.
He loved his people so much that he actually gave away all the swords in his treasury. 
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You see, these two versions of Gilgamesh are still the same person. It’s just that Archer Gilgamesh is the version of Gilgamesh we see before Enkidu’s death, and Caster Gilgamesh is the one we see after the death of his friend.
And yes, technically, Caster Gilgamesh is weaker than Archer Gilgamesh, and the biggest reason for that is the fact that he gave away so many of his weapons, weakening his Gate of Babylon.
But Caster Gilgamesh also had a noble phantasm that Archer Gilgamesh didn’t, Melammu Dingir, or King’s Signal Cannon. 
If you’ve ever seen the movie Three Hundred, it’s a lot like that. But except for arrows, he’s firing every weapon he has at his disposal.
As I mentioned, Caster Gilgamesh was much more generous than Archer Gilgamesh, and he gave away his treasures for them to be used in cannons, should the city of Uruk need protection.
As such, this Noble Phantasm is classed as an Anti-Army ability, firing every weapon mankind had in one go.
But if you think that’s powerful, there’s one more noble phantasm I haven’t yet mentioned. But this one didn’t belong to Caster Gilgamesh, it belonged to Archer Gilgamesh. 
The Sword of Rupture
Imagine a weapon so mighty that it not only holds power beyond comprehension but also taps into the very essence of our universe's creation. 
Enter Ea, the sword of rupture.
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But is it even correct to call it a sword?
Ea is the pinnacle of Noble Phantasms and is the strongest weapon in Gilgamesh’s treasury and it is unique to only him.
You might think it kind of looks like a sword, but it actually isn’t. It was designed before the concept of a “sword” even existed and so, it’s in its own class.
To even summon Ea, Gilgamesh first has to unlock the depths of his treasury with a key that only he possesses, and after that, we see the mere act of obtaining Ea disrupts reality itself.
Designed intricately, each section of Ea represents the Heaven’s, the Earth, and the Underworld, with the sections rotating in opposite directions, echoing the universe’s vast expanse.
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Gilgamesh claims that the sword "knows the truth" of the world where it once existed, and by using its power, it is able to bestow its knowledge upon others.
The weapon holds memories of a time even before the planet existed, a time when life, as we understand it, couldn't have survived. The memory of our universe's raw, primordial form, a chaotic blend of scorching heat and biting cold, of molten lava and dense gas, long before life as we know it began.
This primordial memory is embedded deep within our very DNA, a distant echo from eons past, now faded from our tales and consciousness.
Yet, to those who gaze upon the sword, this deep-seated, almost forgotten knowledge comes rushing back.
To Gilgamesh, Ea is more than just a weapon.
It’s an entity.
He treats it like a person. He talks to it, respects it, and unleashes its might only against those he deems truly worthy.
This isn't just any weapon; it's a creation from even before our planet's dawn, crafted by an unknown God and was once used to split the Heavens and Earth.
It is classed as an anti-universe noble phantasm with power unlike any other and its ability is called “Enuma Elish”, and to use the ability, Gilgamesh first recites an incantation, which is as follows:
“I will tell you of the beginning. Heaven and Earth split, nothingness congratulated creation, my Sword of Rupture cleaved the world!"
"Mortar of the stars, heaven's hell is the eve of creation's celebration. Now you shall die and be silent..."
This is actually another Babylonian tale from thousands of years ago titled “The Story of Creation”, buuuuuuuut I'll cover that another time.
I know that I’ve been describing Ea as a “weapon”, but it isn’t that at all. In fact, that barely scratches the surface of its true nature.
It's not an exaggeration when I say that Enuma Elish has the power to tear the universe apart. Yet, even such an unparalleled force had its moment of surprise.
(There is one recorded instance of it being stopped, something which shocked even Gilgamesh, but that’s a story for another time...) 
Gilgamesh is only seen using this ability on two occasions, once against Rider and another against Tiamat, a primordial deity that almost destroyed the world and was so powerful, that even Gilgamesh couldn’t defeat her. Or rather, Caster Gilgamesh couldn’t. Because like I said before, Archer Gilgamesh is on an entirely different level.
Reunion
We see Gilgamesh use Ea’s full strength against Enkidu, not in their first battle, but rather, when they met again thousands of years later in Fate Strange/Fake.
Here, the world itself is sucked into the void created by the sword, and it begins tearing apart. But Enkidu has his own version of Enuma Elish and thus was able to hold the World together.
The battle is described as follows by those that observed it:
"I felt as if the World was born seven times, and destroyed seven times." - The Sacred Prostitute.
This meeting here is honestly, beautiful. And I know that’s a weird way to describe what is essentially a war to the death between mages, but that’s all I can say about it.
We know how much Gilgamesh values Ea. He is disgusted by the thought of someone unworthy even laying their eyes on it. And it’s so rare that we ever see him even using it.
But when he realises that his opponent is his first and only friend, he pulls out Ea with zero hesitation. [Say it with slight laughter]
In fact, this is the happiest we ever see Gilgamesh. He spends the entire battle laughing his heart out, and we see Enkidu, with a hand to his ears, admiring the sound of his friend's laughter as if it were a song. 
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It’s a tragedy that Gilgamesh will never be able to see Enkidu again. But that’s life. As sad as it is to admit, we all have people we care about that will be gone from our lives forever.
It’s no wonder that Gilgamesh’s greatest treasure wasn’t any of his riches, any of his weapons, the holy grail, or even Ea.
It was his friendship with Enkidu.
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And with that, I’ve covered a fraction of The Epic of Gilgamesh. It took a lot of work and there’s a lot I couldn’t talk cover. I’ll probably make another post dedicated to Ea and another on Enkidu, but I’ll warn you, be prepared to cry.
psst... if you liked this essay, check out the full video essay on my youtube channel!
And I don't normally add this, but if I can be a teenie bit selfish on this one occasion:
Please check out the video (if you'd so graciously lend me a few minutes of your time) because it's by far the hardest I've ever worked on a video and I wholly believe the end result is really good. You can always leave a dislike and tell me how to improve if you don't like it lol
- love ya
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dysconymph · 4 months
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The Boy and the Heron - Review
There’s a kind of joyous expectation many of us feel towards watching any new Hayao Miyazaki film. A nostalgia for those fairy-tale narratives abound with child-like wonder. This is what I was gearing up for when I went to see The Boy and the Heron - a box of tissues ready to hand. The beginning of the film sets you up perfectly for this. Some of the most beautiful animation pulls at the heartstrings as we see a young boy, our Protagonist Mahito, facing the death of his mother: the rough, drawn out style of the artwork heightens Mahito’s desperation as he runs through crowded Tokyo streets, emphasising the chaos and confusion around him. Moving to the countryside during the second world war, meeting his father’s new wife, the pace of the film drops dramatically. We get a languid, sensual, slow cinema marking the boy’s grief. Moreover, the introduction of the titular heron is done with such mythic grace that one is immediately spell bound by the power and horror of it.
Miyazaki films famously lean into the dual nature of traditional childhood fairy tales. Being at once moving and gentle whilst also leaning into darker topics: death, loneliness, fear, environmental collapse. Despite this common feature, this new Miyazaki film seems to be more mature in pace and style, darker even. The voice of the Heron aping Mahito’s mother, taunting him, is so horrifying I was shaken out of my initial ‘ghibli giddiness’ - falling deeper and deeper into the promise of this new twisted fantasy. However, the rest of the film fails to live up to this promise. 
In a typical hero’s journey, Mahito falls into a fantastical world (the afterlife? The spirit-world? The psyche? Who knows), saturated with a large cast of mind-bending characters. However, none of them are particularly well developed, if at all, and as a result it’s hard to find any emotional claim or hook to the narrative. In other ghibli films, the twisting, oneiric storylines offer us a close examination of the main characters’ fears and anxieties (Spirited Away); their sense of duties (Princess Mononoke); their pleasures (Ponyo) etc. However, in The Boy and the Heron, characters come and go with a light hand, scraping the surface just enough to keep the bizarre story going. Half way through the movie I couldn’t even keep up with what was meant to be going on, what was necessary to the plot and most importantly what was at stake. 
To some degree, in hindsight, this kind of light-handed, floating quality to the film makes sense to the themes of grief and loss. It feels almost as if Miyazaki himself was in some kind of lethargic slumber whilst making the film - unable to connect and ultimately commit to the verisimilitude of the fantasy world he has built. The Boy and the Heron becomes a series of beautifully crafted shots that never fully hit. Events pass the characters by with such little emotional investment that even the climax feels rushed and uncared for. As mentioned, maybe this is the point. The film doesn’t give us any revelation or catharsis, perhaps the most accurate depiction of how we move on from grief, but it also comes off as under-developped and inchoate. You’re constantly waiting for the penny to drop: for the world to fully invite you in and leave you wondering in that ghibli-esque state of awe. 
At the end of the day, a Miyazaki film will always be a masterpiece - even at its worst it rises above the rest. However, I wonder if I’m being dense, if maybe my inability to connect says more about me than the film, if maybe I set myself up to fail by expecting something more. But there was something in the beginning of the film: a dark, horrific splendour, one that I wish had been more consistent in the rest of the film.  
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