idk I really love the ideas explored in cosmic horror and I think those ideas could be used in non-horror genres, or in less straightforward combination with other genres to create really interesting fiction. Cosmic horror is like: an event happened. It was terrible, and beautiful, and utterly beyond previous understanding. Like trauma it can only be lived through, not told or explained, and so surviving it is the ultimate isolation for those who see it alone, and a supreme bond for those with shared experience. It has destroyed your previous worldviews, changed your understanding of everything, altered your mind, changed perhaps even your body. You are different and you cannot explain why or how. You have been cast adrift from the old world and are now at least eternally on the edge of a new one. You can choose to turn away from this new reality but you cannot leave it behind, no more than you can change the neural pathways in your brain or the pattern of your cells.

And like, maybe this is horrible for you. Or maybe it was once. Maybe this is only the temporary anguish of growth and you will emerge transformed into something else. Maybe this horror is only the fear of unfamiliarity and inexperience, and like a first taste or a first sexual experience, fear will give way to something strange, but desirable. Maybe you will come not only to enjoy the new, but prefer it. Rather than isolate you, maybe you will be joined to a new community. In losing your old understanding, reality, self, maybe you have found freedom.

Wouldn't a caterpillar fear change if it could understand what would happen to it, that it would first be unmade in order to be made anew? Wouldn't the cocoon be a place of total horror, the future butterfly self a nightmare scenario? And then, after all, when it has changed-- it's a no more an immature crawling thing, but something more profound, with avenues of movement and understanding beyond anything it's old self could have conceived of. Would that still be a horrific reality for the butterfly, or what it had been meant for all along?

Even if the moth could be warned that the fire would kill it, wouldnt there still be an attraction in the flames, even as they burned it?

We are frightened of many things that pose no danger to us, and no ill will. And anything frightening, looked at long enough, will lose its fearfulness, become mundane, absurd, attractive. If you look into the abyss long enough, what will look back at you? What do you bring with you into the abyss, and how will the abyss itself be changed your influence? And will the abyss, altered intimately by your presence, experience horror at the change and fear of the one who brought it?

I feel so much guilt over my sexual feelings... I don't know where the line is. I think being in such a sex negative environment where there is so much focus on sexual violence and male depravity makes it hard for me to not feel naseous about sex sometimes. I've never really learned how to have my own sexual imagination. I feel like it's broken and I want to have one but sometimes the guidance helps. The porn industry sucks but I used it for a while... I struggled with stopping but I felt guilty knowing that I don't know what situation these people are in and that they are so exploited within the industry. I did eventually stop. But I still read fanfiction.

I was kind of a fujo honestly. I think I liked to dissociate from myself. Like I didn't want to project onto any female character in m/f. And I didnt like the way they were often portrayed in f/f. Less real and more childlike and feminine. And I guess just because I was into m/m... and it was available. I didn't want to fetishize gay men, but the fics I read weren't fetishizing they were really humanizing in my opinion. It's just not the same... I didn't like the girls that would treat real life gay men like they were characters they could toy around with and ship with people and treat like a stereotype. It made me really angry to see a few of the girls treat my gay male friend like that.

I'm not really into that now... I'm not fully sure I know why. I think I have some sort of aversion to male genitalia now, but I clearly wasn't like that before... I think I've always had an aversion to the idea of male genitalia inside me. Maybe that's why I wanted to dissociate from it. And maybe I did actually project onto a character to some extent, but moreso the top... Does that make me an autoandrophile? Does seeing myself as a guy that has a dick and does the fucking turn me on? Maybe... All I can say is I certainly have the thrust instinct, and I've never liked to put anything inside of me. Maybe that's not too abnormal...

I mostly read f/f fanfiction now. Or also... t4t m/m. Which I also feel guilty about because I feel like a chaser. Like I'm fetishizing them when in real life they would hate me. But idk :/ it's the best way I can find masc female characters and good lesbian sex. And maybe also having a crush on that one detrans blogger (or... multiple honestly) made me start thinking about the bottom growth and... idk. I feel bad about it again but... I find it appealing.

In reality tho I just couldn't be with anyone that couldn't accept their female body... Or that would try to cancel me for thinking kids that hate their bodies should go to therapy and learn techniques for self acceptance... that it's wrong and unhealthy to let them transition especially before they finish puberty... Not that it matters what either of us thinks. The idea of it now, that I have to have a politically correct and pure stance on everything and so does my partner when we're just two people with barely any effect on politics anyways... I just can't imagine going back to that modern social justice mindset. It just doesn't really matter. What matters is how we treat people, ultimately. I don't need to agree with a partner but we have to be able to respect each other. And to be able to talk about our views and ideas to some extent... To have shared values.

But now I have had a real life experience with a real life masc lesbian... which I didn't think was possible for me, but it happened and I sometimes think I made it up. It wouldn't have happened if she weren't assertive enough for the both of us. She's so confident. I told her that. I said to her, "you're so fucking hot and you know it."

It felt special. But it hurt, because I knew that I was less special to her. Because she had already been with so many women and we had just met. I feel weird saying that like I'm some podcast bro that cares about body count, but it actually does matter on some level... Because I could just be another notch on the bed post for her but she was my first, and probably only for a long time going forward. Maybe that's why I didn't let her fuck me back. Or maybe I'm actually stone. Maybe I really am meant to give and not meant to receive. Maybe I could find someone that doesn't expect me to...

She's also kind of fucked up. Like sadistic. I would feel better about it if she also thought it was fucked up. She told me that she once held a knife against a girl while she fucked her. She also bit me really hard. And probably wanted to hit me, but I wouldn't talk about it first so she didn't. I don't want that. I don't want to feel hurt, I want to feel loved... I don't like it being called vanilla... I just want passionate and loving sex.

We had passionate and loving sex. She felt so good. The feel of her body and the sound of her moaning. The wetness inside her. Getting lost in kissing her. Kissing down her neck and sucking on her breast. The repetitive motion of my fingers going in and out of her. God, it was really really good. She was amazing. I didn't know what I was doing really. She told me I fucked her really good but I was scared that I didn't. That she was just saying that. And the moment after, after she has orgasmed, when we just laid on top of each other on the bed, limbs intertwined, embracing... the intimacy of that moment. Like nothing I've ever felt and now I feel so starved of it. I fucked her again the next morning.

I got really obsessed with her. I thought about her constantly. I got really excited because she acted like we were gonna be together for real. And then on our next date things were weird. I was weirdly attached and self conscious and insecure and she was aloof like it didnt really affect her either way. Like nothing had happened. Which made it worse for me. And then she changed her mind over text and said it wasn't gonna work out. And I sobbed. And got angry.

And then she texted me again and I gave her a second chance and it was basically the same thing over again. I fucked her twice in one night and some time after we parted she decided we couldnt be together. And the third time when she texted me and needed me to come over and said we would talk, I wouldn't let her turn it sexual. And I got upset because I felt like this was a pattern and also that maybe I didn't want to fuck her every time I saw her. That she was way more sexual than me and she was also pressuring me after I said I didn't want to. I felt like I wouldn't be able to keep up with her but I also felt so misunderstood. And replaceable. Like I could be anyone... because she was projecting something onto me without really knowing me.

My coworker said I got love bombed. I don't think it was intentional, I think she's just kind of fucked up. She has trauma. You know. But... it's still unfair that she treated me this way. I know I come off as emotionally unstable but I can take care of myself... She really shouldn't have talked up the idea of a future together so soon. And I knew that at the time, no matter how much I wanted it. Even when I let myself get hopeful. I knew it was too soon.

1 I've been recently getting gender reveal critic videos. The absolute disgusting amount of parents getting legit and openly upset bc the kid didn't have the specific sex they wanted. Straight up stomping off, and pouting. And someone tried to justify "gender disappointment" and like... nah, fuck no. You parents don't get to be ANGRY about a new humans (non)dangly bits. Imagine knowing your parent/s, in front of several of people, got mad you didn't have a specific genitalia! and then went off

2 having a tantrum in front of the people. Maybe I'm just too jaded and angry, but something about people who apparently want a child, being mad the child isn't exactly what they "ordered", and also reducing the kid down to AGAB. Idk, it just breaks something inside of me, especially knowing about how this can result in so much hurt for the child. (Not even getting into infanticide and other fucked up stuff relating to a baby not being born "the way the parent wanted it to.) Fuck you, from now

3 now on, "Gender disappointment" belongs to the trans, enby questioning, and GNC population. To-be parents who throw rage fits, tantrums, and openly talk shit and complain about their children will hereby just be known as "assholes" (I know that "They can still be good parents." but something about such a reaction, especially since "the internet never forgets" the kid might see it later.) Gender reveals are a fucking scam anyway so fuck 'em. Trans/Enby reveals I've seen are much cooler anyway!

Ok, sorry, I know you haven't published it yet, Idk if you will. I'm the anon ranting abt Gender disappointment, and the gender reveal stuff for babies. Idk, something about seeing so many negative news for trans ppl recently in the news and all around, and then seeing more stuff on here just kinda broke me. Not blaming you to be clear. I think I just had a loss if impulse control bc I got sad? Upset? and it all came back, bc normally I just keep my rants to myself, but something just snapped.

[end of anons, sorry I can't format atm]

don't be sorry for rambling, I like hearing your thoughts. I wasn't aware of this phenomenon, that's wild, throwing a strop over this shit, like a trans person has every right to be upset our bodies don't look how we want, but our parents don't have to live in our bodies so it literally isn't their problem. I am in favour of reclaiming!

Demon x Gender Neutral Reader (NSFW)

A/N: NSFW, a little long, I kept the reader gender neutral but story does contain specific mentions of various genitalia. 18+

You were sitting on the floor in your living room before you were a dozen lit candles in mismatched votives and a make-shift altar (it’s actually just a cell phone stand) holding a small piece of paper with a sigil drawn on it. The drawing was of the Seal of Gusion, a powerful demon whose symbol you had traced from your copy of the Lesser Keys of Solomon. You said a few quiet words and concentrated on the symbol with all your might until the world around you faded out.

“What are you doing?” asked a voice from behind you. The voice was rich and sounded somewhere between amused and concerned.

“Trying to summon a demon,” you responded absent-mindedly trying not to let your concentration falter. The room was quiet again and you went back to muttering words quietly. Then your heart stopped with a sharp slice you felt from your tensed shoulders to your navel. You lived alone. Who the fuck just asked you what you were doing?

Your body became rigid and warm as you fought with your flight instincts to turn around. You knew you needed to look at what the hell was in your house but fear stopped you.

“Where the hell did you learn to summon a demon?” The same voice asked again. The voice was so rich and electric it seemed to crawl up your back. You shuttered with a chill.

“Um...a YouTube video.” You shrank in on yourself. You didn’t even know who you were talking to but saying that out loud was a bit embarrassing. You felt a slender finger hook under your chin and turn your head towards the larger room.

Looking down at you was a tall, handsome creature with skin such a deep shade of obsidian it nearly obscured its facial features. Plainly set in its face were bright eyes with red speckled irises and a large mouth that stretched nearly from ear to ear.

The creature looked like a man from the waist up. Its skin was smooth and matte with small patches that reflected the candlelight almost like a swath of scales dotted throughout. It’s long trim arms retreated from your direction to sit idly on its hips. Your eyes moved down to its waist where it’s smooth torso melted into soft, thick mottled fur that was black with sapphire highlights. Your eyes traced down further and it took a span of a few seconds for you to realize the creature had goat like legs complete with cloven hooves. Swishing between its legs you saw a tail as thick as your wrist that ended in a tuft of long sapphire fur that reminded you of a cow’s tail.

Holy shit, you thought. Your breath caught in your throat as you tried to make sense of the demon standing before you...had it actually worked? Your thoughts were soon interrupted as the demon crouched down to be more level with your face.

“I see.” The demon drew out its response. “And who were you trying to summon with...this set up?” It asked, waving a hand at your dismal attempt. Your cheeks flushed, a little embarrassed.

“Um, Gusion….is that-are you…” your voice trailed off. The demon burst into a fit of laughter that went on long enough for you to shift from embarrassed to annoyed. The demon wiped a tear from its eye.

“Gusion! You tried to conjure a Duke of Hell with...I-I can’t believe I need to say this but please don’t take summoning advice from a random YouTube video.” The demon reached past you bringing its face close to yours. You let out a shaky breath, you swore you saw the demon smirk at you. It grabbed your crudely drawn symbol off your “altar” and stood back up to examine it.

“Well...you’re here so something must have worked!” You said indignantly, pushing yourself off the floor to stand. The demon was much taller than you, even as you tried to straighten your posture as much as you could. The demon looked at you and flicked the piece of paper to the floor.

“Don’t get too excited. I just happened to be nearby and heard some weird ‘abracadabra’ type nonsense and stopped to check it out.” The demon reached out, cupping your face and traced a soft circle with its thumb on your cheek. “What did you want with that asshole anyway?”

“I don’t know...I just…have always wanted to meet a demon.” You shrugged. More specifically you have always been attracted to darker things and maybe, sort of wanted to fuck a demon but you weren’t sure how your guest would react to that.

The demon cocked its head to the side and let go of your face. As it pulled away, its hand dropped to your shoulder tracing a line across your collarbone before finally grazing your chest. The demon’s touch sent an electric shock straight through your body that settled down into your core. It was such a light touch but it’s potential excited you and you felt your body shift slightly trying to follow the demon's touch.

The demon took in a deep breath through its nose and smiled which allowed you to see just how far its mouth stretched.

“I knew it,” the demon looked down at you with a smug satisfaction. Heat rose to your cheeks once again. “I can smell your arousal little one.” The demon slowly licked its thin wide lips with a deep red forked tongue. It’s eyes suddenly hooded with an intense hunger.

White hot heat dropped into your core again piling on to the sensation that was already swirling in your sex.

“Now...I may not be a duke of hell but I’m not bad to look at, right?” All you could do is nod as you took a shallow breath. Your mind seemed to be five paces behind you and you let your body lead the way. The demon closed the space between you. It’s body was warm. Electricity jumped between your bodies, charging the sexual energy that had filled the room.

The demon grabbed your chin once again and moved your face to look up into its own. Your heartbeat was raging out of control and you stretched yourself up trying to close the distance between your mouths.

The demon's tongue ghosted along your lips causing a whispered moan to escape you. The thin forks of its tongue caressed your lips and it would probably have tickled if your body hadn’t already been swimming in your desire.

“Is that a yes, human?”

“Yes.” A small, timid word was all you could manage. The demon caught your mouth in a hard chaste kiss before stepping away from you. You stood there motionless for a moment unsure what to do next, you looked at the demon. “Human...is this your first time? Devil on high, lead me to your bedroom. Unless this is your preferred surface.” It kicked the leg of your coffee table and stood with its hands on its hips.

You shook your head free of the lusty cobwebs halting your movement and headed down the hall to your bedroom. “Come on, then.” you called back, trying to sound dominant. You are pretty sure you heard the demon snicker behind you.

Once in your bedroom, you sat on the edge of your bed and waited for it to catch up. The demon strode right up to the bed and stood in front of you, jutting its hips forward ever so slightly. You reached out and lightly grabbed its hips. The fur on its hips was so soft and thick, you started running your fingers across its front, playfully stroking the line where its bare torso met its goat-like bottom half. As your hand passed over the center of its pelvis, the demon let out a groan. Your fingers padded through the fur feeling for its sex.

“Eager, aren’t we?” the demon asked in an even tone. It grabbed the back of your head and pressed your face into its abdomen. You opened your mouth and slid your tongue against the demon’s cool, smooth skin. You began kissing the demon along the fur line where your fingers were dancing before. The demon reassuringly ran its fingers through your hair, leaning back just slightly so it could watch your mouth worship its body.

You began pressing your kiss further up the torso, up its stomach, across its chest, catching its hardened nipples in your teeth, teasing them with your tongue. The demon began to crouch down so that you could continue to move up its body without moving from the bed. The more you touched and suckled its body, the tighter your core felt. Your body was begging you to speed things up so you could feel the demon inside you but you were determined to savor this experience.

As you moved up, leaving kisses upon the demon’s neck, the demon let out a gravely moan which sent pulses through your entire body. At its jawline, the demon met its lips with yours and devoured you in a deep passionate kiss, eagerly pawing at your body and pressing you close. You were completely lost in the demon’s kiss, its forked tongue playing at your mouth, nimble and strong.

The demon pulled away and you instinctively hooked your arms around it trying to recapture their warmth.

“Now, now. There’s a point of order here before we can continue.” The demon smiled, two rows of sharp teeth glistening in the dim light of your room. The demon tapped you on the shoulders to motion you to sit back and stepped further away from the bed. “What is your preference little one?” it asked.

The demon moved its hand to its crotch and your eyes followed. It rubbed against its groin deftly with one hand and you soon saw a slender line open up amongst the thick fur. You could see the glistening head of a penis start to push out of its sheath. The head was a deep crimson red and flat on the end with a small spade shaped ridge jutting out of the underside. A line of precum trailed down the flat head of the penis and collected in the spade. The demon grabbed the head of its penis and began stroking itself, coaxing its penis completely out of its protective sheath.

Moments later, the demon’s long, thick member had emerged completely and the demon rested its length in its hand. Aside from the interesting crimson head, the penis also had small ridges along the top side. The color faded to black the closer it got to the base. Your mouth began to salivate taking in the sight of it which must have been at least 11 inches long in addition to its thickness.

“Now,” the demon interrupted your hungry gaze with an equally lust filled command, “do you prefer this or…” it trailed off. The demon let its member drop away from its hand and stretched its hands towards the floor. Spreading its legs just slightly, it doubled over in half and began to push its torso between its legs. You squinted at the demon not sure what was about to happen.

The demon passed its entire torso through its legs and began to move back up the other side as if it were a doll. When the demon was upright again its form had changed. On its chest were full, round breasts and as your eyes trailed lower you saw that its penis was gone. The demon took a step towards you and moved its hands down towards its sex. Its slim fingers parted fur lined lower lips to reveal a glistening, wet pussy. The demon began to stroke its throbbing clit and you saw a shiver run through its body.

“Well, human? What will it be?” the demon asked, smirking. Sitting on the bed, your body ached with want, your sex becoming slick with desire. The demon looked at you, a lazy expression on its face as it continued to pleasure itself.

“Option one, please.” you said breathily and without thinking you began to shed your clothing. The demon grinned ear to ear and dropped its torso towards the ground to begin the change once again.

You turned your back to the demon as you moved to crawl onto the bed. Its arm hooked around your waist and you felt the demon press its body against you. Its hard cock pressing into the back of your thigh. The demon rutted against your leg and leaned down, snaking its forked tongue across your back.

“Get on your knees.” a short, swift command and it made you fall apart. Your heart raced as you climbed on to the bed, positioning yourself on all fours. You felt the weight shift on the bed as the demon crawled up behind you. Its hand firmly pushed between your shoulder blades, pushing your torso down against the bed. Its other hand grabbed your hips, fingers digging in and laying claim to your body. Once you were in position, you felt the demon’s slender tongue lap over your entrance, eager to open you up. The tongue dragged up and down your hole, the hot breath of the demon adding to your growing arousal. You reached your hand towards your pleasure to try and give yourself a little release but you were caught by the wrist.

“Now, now little human. You’ve given yourself to me, your body is mine for now.” The strong hand squeezed your wrist before letting go. You let your hand fall away from your sex and moved it back to brace yourself. You were desperate for more friction and fought to not buck your hips back towards the demon. The demon laughed as it continued to wet your entrance with its tongue. The vibrations of its laughter sent a white hot feeling through your body.

The demon continued to prep your entrance, pushing its tongue into you, working at you steadily. When your sex was wet and swollen from its tongue, the demon began to use its fingers. Rubbing along the edges of your hole in small, steady circles before dipping a finger in. You moaned as the first digit pushed in and you could barely soak in the feeling before another finger stretched you further. The demon’s long fingers moved in and out you, crooking at just the right angle to make you cry out.

You began to move your hips without thought as the demon fucked you open with its fingers. The demon’s hot drool dripped from between its sharp teeth on to your sex adding to the wetness. Lewd, sucking noises filled the room as it worked your hole. You chanced a glance over your shoulder to see the demon pumping its cock, as it worked you.

The demon pulled its fingers out of you and held them in front of its face. Its forked tongue moved all over the fingers licking off all of your taste like the appendage had a mind of its own. The demon shifted and raised itself off its haunches and lined itself up with your entrance. Your body quivered, already overstimulated.

The spade shaped ridge on the underside of its penis slid into your entrance, opening you up so that the large, flat head could push inside you. In an instant your body felt so full. The demon roughly pushed in to you, suddenly uninterested in your comfort--chasing its own need. The demon’s hips snapped against your ass as it seated itself fully into you. Stretching you beyond what you thought was possible. Your entrance pulled and stretched to accommodate its cock and you couldn’t read the line between pleasure and pain. There was a feeling in the pit of your stomach that let you know you hadn’t been full like this before. You breathed deeply, trying to relax your body not wanting the demon to sense any discomfort.

After a brief pause with the demon seated fully inside you, it began to slowly pull itself out. This time you felt what you hadn’t noticed before, the ridges along the top of its cock. They tugged at your sopping wet entrance as its cock pulled out of you. The demon thrusted into you slowly a few more times. You could already feel your orgasm building and didn’t know how much longer you would last.

You nodded your head against your arm, not sure if the demon could see you trying to indicate you were ready for more. You didn’t trust that you could speak. The demon apparently took the hint because it immediately started to move in and out of you at a quick pace. Holding your hips in its hands, the demon hissed and howled as it picked up speed. A white hot feeling started to stretch over your body, oozing out from your core reaching into your legs and arms, all the way up your throat until a loud moan ripped from your mouth. Encouraged by the noise, the demon gripped your hips harder, its sharp nail pressing into your skin. Your body was so hot already you could tell if the heat in your hips was because it broke skin or was just your pleasure mounting.

A nonstop string of moans and guttural noises fell from your mouth as your sex began to clench and spasm, the feeling quickly built then crescendoed as your orgasm tore through you. The demon kept its pace as it worked you through your orgasm--still chasing its own. The demon continued to thrust roughly inside of you as tears stung at the corner of your eyes. A hand grabbed your shoulder as the demon thrust into you impossibly hard somehow hitting you even deeper than before. The demon screeched an unearthly sound as it came and released inside of you, filling you and once again making the room echo with wet, sucking noises as its seed pushed around its girth and out of you. The demon’s release forced another orgasm from your body and you screamed as the overstimulation left you numb and floating.

Finally, the demon slid out of you, its thick cock dropping against its thigh, and it let out a satisfied groan settling back on its haunches. You barely had strength left in your limbs and you fell to your side, taking in deep breaths of air to steady your racing heart. You moved your hands down the backside of your body so you could finger the release covering your ass and thighs. It was thick and heavy and clung to your skin. The demon ran a finger along the flat head of its cock, collecting its own release on its finger tip. It reached out the come covered finger towards you. You opened your mouth, eager to taste the demon’s seed.

You sucked its finger clean of the bitter cream and the demon laid down next to you, satisfied. You laid in silence next to the demon, both of you swimming alone in your senses nothing but the sound of your labored breathing in the room. You were the first to break the silence.

“Can I try option two next time? Can there be a next time?” you said dreamily, rubbing its chest. The demon smiled its wide, sharp grin that bisected its entire face.

“Oh yes, I will definitely be back here again.” the demon reached out, past you and stuck its thumb on your wall. For a brief moment there was a small, black crack in the wall. “So I can find you again.” When you looked again the fissure had disappeared.

Pushing itself off the bed and standing, the demon ran fingers through fur that was matted with both of your fluids. Suddenly, the edges of its body began to look blurry and there was a crackling energy all around it.

“For fuck’s sake...now?...when I’m covered in this mess…” its voice broke off, annoyed. You kept staring as the line of its shoulder seemed to evaporate.

“For your information, this is what it looks like when you summon a demon.” it snorted.

You couldn’t help but laugh.

Sexiled

jeon jungkook x male!reader

word count - 1.9K

genre - SMUT! fluff, soft-angst

contains - virgin!submissive-top!jungkook (he eventually becomes more dominant), calling jungkook ‘bunny’, no penetration; just grinding, dominant-bottom!reader, No mentions of the reader's genitalia, reader is really affectionate, talks of consent.

synopsis - you’re roomates with Jungkook’s friend, when your roomate kicks you out of the apartment to do the deed with his boyfriend, you go to Jungkook’s in hopes he’ll give you some shelter for a few hours.

"Kookie! Hi!" You smile brightly at the younger male, standing at the door of his apartment, looking over his shoulder to see if there was anyone else in the house; and holding a takeaway container of pork belly in one hand and a small carton of banana milk in the other. You look back at Jungkook before speaking, "Is Taehyung home too or are you alone?"

Jungkook was a little confused, he glanced at the contents in your hand, his hand at the doorknob even though the door was wide open. What's Y/N L/N doing at his apartment? His cheeks must be burning red, his bestfriend's friend is at the door, "Er, Tae moved out last week, he's a few streets down–"

"Ah! Good, so it's just you!" You exclaim in relief, "Can I come in?"

Jungkoom was a little surprised at the request, considering the only time you came over was as a plus-one for Hoseok at every event Taehyung was hosting at the apartment or somewhere else, you were close with his Hyungs then you were with him. But Jungkook nodded anyway, naturally not being one to turn someone away.

The two of you went to different universities, opposite ends of the city, actually; but only lived in apartments opposite from each other. Jungkook isn't very discreet with his crush on you, people usually don't spontaneously turn red upon seeing you, or fiddle with their fingers, or stutter two times too many. You were better at hiding it, however.

You had placed yourself in the centre of the living room, between the television sitting on a platform and the coffee table in front of the couch, before facing Jungkook with a grin, "Could I stay the night?"

"What?" Jungkook almost didn't believe what he heard. The question was clear and direct but yet he still struggled to comprehend it. He coughed at the surprise, it was like a punch in the throat, but he managed to compose himself better to answer your question, "I mean, sure, I guess. But what's wrong with your place?"

"Hoseok has his boyfriend over, and he very politely asked him to leave because he and Yoongi had talked about fucking in the kitchen and obviously, me being a good friend, I decided to give him that privacy, but I forgot as I was leaving that I literally wouldn't have a place to sleep, so I realised that your living quarters are the closest–"

"[Y/N]. You can stay, it's fine.. I'm just surprised, that's all," Jungkook mumbles a bit. The world works in mysterious ways, bringing you here was certainly an interesting choice.

"I bought you pork belly with rice, and banana milk as an offering," you smile, placing the meal and drinks on the dining table after walking over to it. The table only having two chairs, which is understandable considering Jungkook lives alone now, "We can watch a movie! And I'm more than happy to sleep on the couch!" You chime, trying your best to make the moment less awkward for him, since, to be fair, you did come rather unannounced..

"Taehyung actually hadn't taken his bed, he let me keep it," Jungkook explained, avoiding your gaze in an attempt to hide his reddened cheeks, "You're welcome to sleep there, I actually just changed the bedsheets– and, thank you for the food, you really didn't have to."

You were grateful as to how selfless Jungkook is, he's younger than you but provides all the boyfriend and friendship material. "Awe, thank you!" You gush, gleely heading towards Jungkook to give him a hug, wrapping your arms around the brunet.

You felt him hesitantly place his hands on your hips, then carefully lacing his arms so that his fingers were holding his elbows as he hugged you back; a warm feeling, and you were always so affectionate. Jungkook almost pouted when you let go of him, but your hand now upon his cheek so you could look at him properly, and it made him freeze. You spoke with concern, your eyebrows furrowed as you assessed the younger, "Are you okay? Are you sick, Bunny?"

"B-bunny?"

You giggle, "Yeah, you know, you look like a bunny; cute, witty, I don't know why you're so shy, I've never seen you like this."

"I guess I'm just... A lot more outgoing in front of my Hyungs.." He forces out a snicker, your thumb now caressing his cheek, not intending for the action to further make his face hot. He really likes the feeling of your skin on his, he just has no idea how to react like a normal human, and it's making him when more embarrassed. Why can't he be like Jin-Hyung and flirt back? Or be more confident like Tae? It was difficult to express the way he wanted without fearing his actions.

"Ah, you're so cute," You say, bopping his nose then fully releasing him from your confining space. "So, about the movie, you can pick. And, you know, you can have your pork belly while we watch and I promise not to disturb."

-`•. ♘

"Why this one, though?"

"It's my favourite movie," he hid his face in a pillow, you two were sitting next to each other; you were sitting with your legs diagonally tucked away from your chest while Jungkook sat upright with his feet on the floor and back against the couch and a pillow hugging his chest.

"Huh," you shrug, chuckling a little before throwing a pretzel from the bowl that was sitting on the coffee table in your mouth, "Didn't take you as the romance buff type."

"I actually really like this movie, Taehyung was watching vintage romance movies once and he suggested this one to me," Jungkook explains, the movie carefully reaching the halfway point as his eyes were glued to the loose thread on the pillowcase, "And I've watched it fourteen times."

"Fourteen?!"

"Fifteen if you count this one," Jungkook laughs softly, "Or maybe not, I haven't really been paying attention..."

You reached for the remote sitting in between the two of you, then pointing the device at the television to close the sound down to a 2. Jungkook was confused. Even more confused when you shifted your body to face Jungkook, placing your palm on your cheekbone and your elbow on the neck of the couch, "Okay. Bunny. What's wrong?"

"I-" He stopped, not being able to avert his eyes from you from the sudden call-out, "What are you talking about?"

"C'mon, are you sick? Is there something on your mind? Is it uni? Because if you have work to do you're no way obliged to be spending time with–"

"No, it's not uni," Jungkook sighs, finally moving his eyes away from you but still picking at the loose thread. "It's– it's hard to explain..."

"I'm waiting, Bunny. Please?" You beg, asserting your bother, "Seeing you nervous when I've seen you drown shots like water makes me feel weird too."

Jungkook thought for a moment, he heard his own heart beating through his chest, and the sound was rapid. "Could I show you instead?"

You nodded.

Jungkook leaned in close, “I like you,” he whispered, placing a hand on your cheek with his fingers touching softly, letting his breathing and closeness longer for a moment to let you know what he was going to do, but also out of the hesitation himself.

So, you placed a peck on his lips first, just a small and quick one, and it didn't seem to catch Jungkook by suprise, because he leaned back in to kiss you properly. Lips dancing with yours gently yet still wanting to convey his answer.

He brings you closer and you place your hand on his shoulder, still wanting to be sure that you can touch him properly, but enjoying the privileges that Jungkook was giving you.

"Mhm," Jungkook hums, pulling away for a second and looking down at the space between the two of you; his lips more crimson and his breathing more uneven, "I've never... you know–"

"Oh," you stop, "Do you want to? You know if you're not comfortable we don't have to do anything–"

"I want you to..." His words came out more firm, brining his hand down to yours, lacing them so he could guide you to sit on top of his lap. He smiled at your little giggle at his action, watching you lower yourself over his thighs and either leg beside his as he placed one of your hands on his shoulder. He moved his other hand up your back with the back of his index finger, tracing the over the clothes, "If you're willing as well."

You nodded softly, shivering under his touch, "I really like you too, Jungkook.."

He chuckled s little, "Since when?" He asked, thumbing his thumb over your hips.

"Jennie's 20th... On the yatch.." You admitted, clenching a fist over his black hoodie, grinding down against him gently, becoming more impatient, careful enough to ignite arousal, and just enough too have Jungkook's breath more breathy in the slightest. "You said that confident guys made you nervous, they're your type; I've been seizing my opportunity ever since."

Jungkook held a firm grip on your hips, watching your breath hitch when he forced you down to grind into him harder, "That– fuck– that was two years ago. You really liked me this long?"

You swallowed the lump in your throat, nodding while avoiding his gaze. A moan left your lips when he leaned forward, deciding to kiss your neck the way he see fit as he silently guided you in a way to grind on him through clothes, feeling his bulge growing the more you continued your actions and getting more horny with his licking and sucking your neck to leave deeper shades of colours and bite marks. "J-Jungkook, oh my god."

A small chuckle left the other's lips, looking at you with lust-driven eyes as he rocked his hips upwards, pulling you down so to feel how hard he was. Hearing you moan because of him was such a euphoric feeling, "You sound so pretty, [Y/N].."

You grind down harder, holding his shoulders as moans and grunts have started erupting from Jungkook too, "You sure you haven't done this before, Bunny? You certainly know how to please people," you tease, placing a kiss on his lips as he gripped your his with rough hands.

"Hmm," he hummed, his eyebrows furrowing in pleasure at the darkened spot on his dark blue shorts due ot the precum leaking from his cock, "I’ve messed around with people... but haven’t fucked anyone..”

“I’m impressed, Bunny,” you bite you lip, rolling down harder and it resulted in Jungkook throwing his dead back with a loud moan, watching his neck muscles clench as you look the opportunity to paint kisses along his gold skin, and his grip on your hips tight with the intention of having something to hold onto as you moved so sinfully. Pressing a final kiss on Jungkook’s neck before you reached up close to his ear, your voice drops to a whisper, “Can I suck you, Jungkook?”

I too am curious about 3, combined with 5? also 15 and this might be a nightmare question but, 22 for DoL

3: Do you have any upcoming WIPs? How far along are you with them?

5: Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter.

Okay so. The WIPs. 1. The farthest along is the college students in a cabin being killed by a monster story, which I wrote for a Pitch Black Halloween event a couple years ago and now I am editing to publish as its own novel. I’m actually at the last scene! Unfortunately I also need to rewrite the last scene because the current last scene basically introduces two new characters and I think that damages the effect I’m going for with the story overall. It’s a story with a small cast and very few extras and closing on strangers adds distance between reader and story which I don’t want.

2. Then there’s my Phantom of the Opera fic, which yes it has been maybe a year since I worked on it, but I really want to finish it and put it into the world. I just thought it would be shorter, since I repeatedly said to @marypsue, “I’m not going to rewrite the Phantom of the Opera”…cut to card saying “Gretchen rewrites the Phantom of the Opera.”

3. There’s the fic I was working on for Dead Dove Day. I wanted to write some smut with a completely blank slate being introduced to sex by someone with tons of experience (which apparently now gets a frowny face put in one’s file) and also every character has dual genitalia (I’m still waiting for the paperwork to come back about whether I’m allowed to fantasize about that or not, and then of course there’s all the other forms to determine if I’m allowed to encourage other people to also fantasize about this). The smut is done unless I add another scene at the end but it developed a plot so I’m trying to resolve that.

4. There’s some simple! classic! blacksand! that won’t resolve for some reason and makes me feel like I lost the ability to write. I know this isn’t true but it’s like…I need to be writing this in class or something. I need to be getting away with it.

5. Last, there’s blackgeneral which I have put in a human AU and made even worse! But if you’ve never written something where you wonder at least a little bit if it would fail the Miller Test, have you even lived?

Now for some samples, in the order in which they were mentioned (lmao this got long):

1. “Did you see that, did you see that?”

“What was that?”

“Yeah, I saw it but—”

“It was tall, it was tall, it was a bear!”

“No, it was skinny! It couldn’t have been a bear!”

“And anyway, it was fucking gray!”

“Okay, okay,” Gabe said when things had quieted down a little. “Everything looks kind of gray in this light.”

“I’m not really concerned with its color!” Sugar said.

Kelly had stood up in all the commotion and now moved behind Gabe, resting her hands on his shoulders. She hadn’t liked the look of that thing in the woods, but now Gabe was pointing his flashlight down into the lake, and that was actually worse for her.

“Shine your light at it again,” Sandy said. “We’ll either frighten it away or get a better idea of what it is.”

They waited tensely as Gabe swept the trail again, revealing nothing.

“I don’t know if anyone else is thinking this,” Minnu said, “but I thought…I thought it kind of looked like a guy.”

“Yeah,” Gabe said, after a moment. “Yeah, it kind of did.”

“That kind of seems worse,” Sugar said.

“True,” Sandy said. “So, what should we do? I vote for going back to the cabin.”

“And I think we should go without our phone lights or flashlights,” said Sugar. “If that was a guy, he could have a gun.”

“The person that was found dead wasn’t killed by any gun,” Kelly said after a short pause.

“Well, this could be someone entirely different,” Sugar said. “It’s not like there’s a rule, only one thing that can kill you in the forest at a time. In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite of that.”

“Guys, guys,” Sandy said. “I know this isn’t the most normal thing to say, but…are we really sure that that thing looked like a…well, a human guy?”

2. She screams. She screams her sorrow and her rage, and her rage is at the way of the world but also at herself; why had she been a coward? All she had done was seen, and she had still frozen in fear? All she had were her hands, but should she not have used them? She should have flown forward and strangled the man! But she had only frozen, frozen and silently watched, as if she was nothing more than the ornament she was supposed to be.

“You will hurt yourself, screaming like that,” a voice says, then.

No one else is in the chapel with her. She checked many times in succession before closing the door. The voice is that of no one. A ghost.

But the abruptness reminds her of Mme. Giry as she instructs the corps de ballet on form. You will hurt yourself, bending like that.

But since no one is here, she responds as if she is alone. “No one ever taught me how to properly scream.” As she says this, she can feel the rawness of her throat. It hardly matters, she has no solos approaching, and probably never will.

“Do you want to learn?” the voice asks. “I could teach you.”

“What would be the point? No one wants me to scream.”

“No one wants me to do anything,” the voice says. “But I know how to do many things.”

The shape of her mouth flickers towards a smile. The concept is oddly enticing: to build a skill that no one wants. And this voice, that is oddly enticing, too. It reminds her of the heavy velvet that she’d noticed in the costume shop one day, brushed to a shimmering dark red like a fire behind smoked glass. The soft weight of it had been a glory in her hands that sent a strange shiver all down her spine.

And just as she knows that velvet doesn’t grow on trees, she knows that this wonderful voice didn’t come naturally, either. A lot of work went into its creation, and right now, she is the only one being given that beauty. That’s enticing, too.

It seems she’s taken too long to respond, for the voice speaks again. “I could teach you how to sing as well as scream. I’ve heard you sing on your own before, away from the chorus. You could be the greatest soprano the opera has ever heard.”

“Singing is something they want,” she says. “And you say…the greatest. Do you think I could be sublime, as a soprano?”

“Sublime,” the voice muses, and the slow word makes her shiver again. “I have met few who truly desire to be sublime.”

“I do.”

This time it is the voice that takes a long time to respond. “I believe you,” it finally says, sounding curious, and a little sad. “Yet I do not fully understand you. Perhaps I will if I teach you. And I can. I have far more experience with sublimity than with beauty.”

“Your voice is beautiful,” she says tentatively, “at least it is as you speak to me. But I hear in it something that tells me you can easily transcend with it to the sublime. I only wish to say, from hearing you, I would guess you had experience with both.”

“You do not know what you say,” the voice replies, with control so careful she cannot be sure what it conceals, “but that is all very well. You will have a voice with sublimity waiting behind its beauty, this I swear. Sublimity will be yours to hold to heel or to unleash, and when you do—”

“Yes,” she interrupts. “What then?”

She can hear a smile in the voice now, at her eagerness. “At the very least,” the voice says, “you’ll be able to shatter glass.”

She smiles too, imagining. “Every globe in the chandelier, from the stage.” It is a reckless wish, and a thoughtless one—she does not really want to rain glass down upon the audience, or if they were not there, to make the cleaning-women sweep up thousands of razor-sharp shards. But if she could, oh, it’s an uncanny thing to do. Not a pretty thing.

“If you have the will, I will show you the way,” says the voice. “If you agree, will you tell me your name?”

“Yes, and yes,” she says. “And my name is Christine Daae. But what is yours?”

“I am the ghost,” he says.

3. The Pitch held Sandy close with one arm while their other hand flowed down Sandy’s body, slow and sweet like honey. They bent to kiss Sandy’s mouth as they fondled their full breasts. And it wasn’t—it wasn’t as if the Pitch spent a long time at the stiff points of Sandy’s nipples. They were too sensitive for that right now, the line between pleasure and pain too thin. But they did touch, and the touch of their inhumanly long fingers felt somehow both reverent and barely restrained. Sandy knew this could only be their projection onto such a new Pitch, but knowing didn’t make the feeling go away. It didn’t stop them from going half-mad with it, their cunt getting wetter and their cock getting harder, barely a breath away from begging the Pitch to pinch them, hard, to fall over the line of pain to see if there was pleasure on the other side.

But that was part of a different lesson, and not something every owner wanted their Pitch to learn. Sandy wasn’t quite sure it was what they wanted, either, except that it would be more sensation and more was what they wanted from the Pitch.

But of course the Pitch could give more, and of course they would give more. That was what they were for.

The Pitch caressed their belly luxuriantly, their speeding breath and some soft sounds muffled by their mouth on Sandy’s proclaiming their absolute delight in every curve of Sandy’s very ordinary body. And again it felt like real desire, as if the Pitch had forgotten that the point of their actions was to arouse Sandy. As if it was assured, as if there was a long understanding of mutuality between them, as if indulging themselves with Sandy was something they knew Sandy would enjoy.

As for the last, with Sandy, they were right. Every greedy touch of the Pitch’s hands was a gift, a drug.

A drug that opened the mind to some dangerous ideas. Pitches are made for pleasure. If I could choose a pleasure construct I’d choose a Pitch. I’d choose this Pitch. Precocious Pitch and I wonder, I wonder if in a different world where Pitches are what the born look like, if this Pitch would commission a Sandy if they could. It should have been unthinkable. But pleasure constructs were also made to make the unthinkable possible.

So obedient, and they come with their own built-in taboos for you to think about breaking!

4. Conversation is all right, Sandy said. If you can find someone to do it with. But there are things I like better. He looked up at Pitch. Things I think you might like better, too.

“Is that so? You know something good enough to make me be good?”

Sandy grinned, now, and Pitch—Pitch absolutely felt his heart beat faster, though it was getting harder now to say that this was out of panic or even simple fear.

I don’t know if it’s that powerful, but I’d be happy to give it a try, Sandy said. What do you think?

What did Pitch think? He felt like somehow he’d been herded through a great number of corridors in his mind and now he had reached a dead end. Or—not exactly a dead end. It was just that all the doors around him were ones he had locked tightly, and he had tried to forget that he still had the keys. It was the Sandy wing of his mind, and now the real Sandy was blocking him from leaving the corridor the way he came, and spinning a key ring around his little golden finger. If Sandy unlocked any of those doors, then he’d see…he’d see…

Maybe…Sandy would see something he…liked?

“Try me,” Pitch said, giving the words an unsuitable earnestness.

5. Porcelain skin and blue-black hair from their mother. Sharp angular faces, proud aquiline noses, and bones that promised height from their father. And yet their mother’s influence performed alchemy on these traits, somehow making them gracile, proving that on those infinitesimal spiral staircases of fate, she would always have the higher ground. Their lips might be thinner than hers, but they were still perfectly formed to bring to mind sensuality, even from this young age. They might be forbidden cosmetics, but the lashes she gave them were long and thick enough that no one who saw them would be able to stop themselves from wondering. And their eyes, of course, were hers, that exquisitely rare and exotic topaz had completely overshadowed their father’s pure northern blue. There was just enough of their father in their looks that they could be no one else’s sons, but the rest of their looks whispered this open secret: Though he was powerful enough to wed and bring to childbed the most beautiful woman within a thousand miles, claiming such beauty meant that he would never have a son quite in his image. That single, perfect, impregnable vessel of immortality for himself was nothing but a ghost. What he had, after having everything else, was this uncanny pair. Warped reflections of their mother, warped reflections of their father.

And perfect reflections of each other.

15: Which fic that you’ve written relates to you and your personal life the most?

A Draught of Light. I was working through a lot of stuff in that fic and while writing it, I’m not done working out everything I was working out in that fic, and bizarrely it seems to continue to become more relatable to me as years pass, even through situations I could not have possibly have foreseen. But also Speak Oil Into My Ear is very near and dear to me because of how much of Austin, TX I put into it, and that’s where I was living when I wrote it.

22: Have you used any symbolism in A Draught of Light? What does it represent?

You mentioned this might be a nightmare question and I guess it kind of is, because DoL is like…not subtle in any way. That’s just how it is. Any symbolism is baked into the magic system because it’s how magic works—if a light adept can figure out how to understand what they’re doing as related to illuminating/revealing/opening etc., then they can do it with light. If a shadow adept can understand a working as related to concealing/vanishing/hiding etc., then they can do it with shadow. Fire is change, water is healing/restoration. The ending doesn’t go full allegory but like. For those who are familiar it’s very obvious why I would think of this story more around Easter than around the autumn equinox, when it’s actually set.

But! Story time! When this story started, it was partially due to three factors: a kinkmeme prompt that I wasn’t sure if my idea actually addressed, a round pool at the apartment complex I lived in at the time, and a dream I had where I was standing in this underground circular stone chamber, and I clapped my hands and water began flowing from them, and (here’s the symbolism) in the dream I knew that the water represented forgiveness. (Though that’s not really what it means in DoL.

(22-G Mature Oneshot)Birthday Gift

Note: So… That happened… I’m not sure exactly how this oneshot ended up going in the direction it went, but Oh well. So this is a birthday gift that I wrote for myself, since my birthday was yesterday (April 12th) and it ended up being mostly smut but with some angst at the end.

Warnings: Contain some weird, biologically inaccurate kinks like oviposition (because apparently, that’s what come to my mind during Easter) , non-human genitalia, hemipenes and cervical penetration. Also contain some Mommy kink, light bondage, some femdom, some dirty talking and mentions of age difference.

Also, I’m not sure how to explain it, but there’s some mentions of dubcon? The angst is mostly that after sex, both Mel and Shuichi think they somewhat forced themselves on the other, but it get resolved and there’s an happy ending.

Also, there’s some random silliness at some points, just because. That’s what happen when I decide to write smut on my birthday, apparently… 

“What? What kind of question is that?

- I heard you talking in your sleep about “stuffing me full of your eggs” the other night… So, do you really lay eggs or…

- Damn it… I’m… I’m so sorry…”

Shuichi was blushing and hiding his face in his hands, ashamed that he talked in such ways in his sleep. He was already surprised that Mel wanted to date him to begin with, and even more surprised that she was more than willing to have sex with him. He tried to hide the fact that once a year or so, something weird, probably related to his quirk or something, happen. He needs to lay eggs out of his hemipenes. He also gets really horny during that time and he knew it was coming really soon. He already started to be hornier than usual, which is probably what led him to that dream of stuffing Mel with his eggs. Unable to be dishonest with Mel, he tells her the truth, apologizing again and again.

Shuichi was almost panicking, thinking that this was the end, there was no ways Mel would want to be with him now.

“What are you sorry about?”

Mel was cocking her head to the side, looking at him curiously.

“You… You probably think I’m some kind of gross monster now. I… I didn’t want you to know. I was going to pretend that I was sick when it was the time… Damn it… I’m so sorry… Please… Can you… maybe… pretend you never heard that? Please? You know I would never do anything that could harm you, yeah?”

Mel raised an eyebrow, still staring at the scaled young man.

“So, you do really lay eggs… Do you know more precisely when it’s going to happen?

-… About that… I’m sorry, but it’s probably going to be around Sunday… so… I won’t be able to spend your birthday with you… I’m so sorry”

Mel shook her head and smiled, already forming a plan in her head.

“Hey, it’s ok, relax Shuichi! I’m not mad at you or anything like that! Soooo… Have you ever tried laying them in someone or…?

- WHAT? No! Of course not! I mean, you’re only the second person I ever had sex with, you know that! So when would have I? Ugh… Can we stop talking about that, please?

- Sorry, sorry. I just find it interesting.”

Shuichi scoffed; Mel really found the strangest things interesting. Well, that was lucky for him, he guessed. She probably wouldn’t want to be with him otherwise, especially with that new detail about him now dragged into daylight. Mel found Shuichi’s dumbfounded expression so cute that she couldn’t help but giggle, embracing him and placing a kiss on his snout, making him blush.

 ------------------------------

Time-skip to Sunday brought to you by EGGS! ALL I WANT IS EGGS! EGGS! EGGS! EGGS!

--------

Shuichi was in the bedroom. Mel was supposed to be at Magne’s place for a few days, as the time has come for Shuichi to lay his eggs. He was naked, lying down on the bed, face flushed, eyes closed as he was stroking his cocks, one in each hand, trying to get those eggs to come out. He hated himself for it, but he couldn’t stop himself from imagining Mel. He imagined her riding him and asking to be filled with his eggs, her pussy clenching around him, her cute moans filling the air.

“Hmmm… yes… Please babe. Don’t stop and you’re gonna get what you want… I’m getting close, won’t be too long until I stuff you full of my eggs…”

It was quite the scene for Mel, who just discreetly entered the bedroom, wearing only a nice lingerie set.

“Hey, lover! Thinking about me?”

Shuichi stops what he was doing and sit up, his eyes wide open out of surprise.

“Mel, what are you doing? You’re not supposed to be here…”

Then, he notices what Mel was wearing, how nice the purple lingerie looks against her skin, leaving little to the imagination. For a second, he thinks that his lust got the best of him and that he is imagining her, but the feeling of her straddling his legs and her hand on one of his hard dicks feel all too real.

With her free hand, Mel gently push Shuichi back to make him lie on the bed again.

“It’s ok, baby. Let me take care of you…”

Shuichi could barely believe what was happening, but in his lustful haze, he didn’t care anymore. He wanted, no, needed Mel so bad right now, he couldn’t think of anything else.

“Unf… Please babe, I… I need you! Please, please, help me!

- Don’t worry, Love. I’ll help you get rid of those annoying eggs, yeah? Do you want me to help you?”

As she was saying that, Mel was now stroking both Shuichi’s dicks. He could feel her wetness against his leg, even through her panties. It was driving him insane.

“Please… please… I need… I need to be… inside you… please… please…”

He kept repeating it like a mantra, begging for Mel’s sweet embrace. He almost cried when she moved away from him to remove her lingerie, but the lost was short lived. Mel was now straddling his hips, grinding against his cocks. Feeling her warmth and wetness, Shuichi couldn’t help himself, his hands shot up to grab her soft, plushy breasts. He always loved the feeling of those in his hands. Mel bend down to be able to kiss Shuichi and whisper to him.

“So, here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to ride you until you lay those eggs inside me and stuff me full, and we’re both going to enjoy it. Is that ok with you?

- Yes! Yes! Please! Please do it!”

Shuichi’s hands moved to Mel’s hips, trying to move her so he could finally sheath his painfully hard dicks inside her, but she didn’t let him, slapping his hands away.

“Nuh uh! Lemme do it!”

And to make sure he wouldn’t try again, she grabbed Shuichi’s scarf.

“Since you don’t want to be a good boy, I’ll have to tie your wrists to the headboard, yeah?”

Usually, Shuichi was careful to not let anything that might imply some of what he consider his “weirder” kinks out of fear of Mel’s reaction, but right now, he was way too far gone to even think about the consequences of his actions. He put his hands over his head against the headboard by himself.

“I’m sorry… I… I’ve been a bad boy… Please… Tie me up… and teach me to be a good boy… Mama…”

Mel raised an eyebrow. Shuichi was always so secretive about his kinks, usually. This was rather a nice change that he finally let himself loose. Mel didn’t really expect that, but she didn’t really mind. Maybe their age difference was to blame, Mel was around 10 years older than him after all, with him being 21 and her actually turning 32 today. Or maybe it was Mel’s habit of being somewhat motherly with all her loved ones… Anyways, Mel just shrugged to herself and tied Shuichi’s wrists to the headboard.

“Now, are you going to be a good boy for Mama? You’ll let Mama fuck herself on your fat cocks until you lay your eggs? Your going to give Mama what she wants for her birthday and stuff her full of eggs?”

Shuichi was using all his willpower not to move, not wanting to risk Mel changing her mind.

“Yes, please Mama… I need… I need…

-Yes, I know, baby boy. Just a moment, I need to prep myself for you.”

A quick glance allowed Shuichi to see Mel stretching herself with her fingers, making him drool and lick his snout at the sight. He gladly started to lick and suck on her fingers when she presented them to him, eager to please Mel so she finally would ride him. And finally, Mel took his cocks and hold them together, struggling to get them both inside as due to getting ready to lay eggs, they were even bigger than usual, but eventually managed to get the heads in. From there, it was easier, both of their fluids allowing Mel to impale herself on Shuichi’s cocks with relative ease. They both moaned, Shuichi at the velvety warmth enveloping his dicks and Mel at the feeling of being stretched more than usual. Mel started to bounce on Shuichi’s cocks, slowly at first to get herself used to the stretch and then with a quicker rhythm.

Looking at him was quite the sight for Mel. Shuichi was panting a drooling, blabbering praises and begging her not to stop, struggling against the scarf in an attempt to free his hands and grab Mel. Unfortunately, Mel’s legs were starting to get tired, and her getting closer to her climax didn’t help her. It became quite difficult for her to keep doing that. Her lust got the best of her and she decided to do something somewhat risky. With the current situation, Mel was able to control the depth of the penetration and would’ve been able to back out easily if the eggs became too much for her. In his state, Mel knew Shuichi would not be able to have such restrains, even thought he didn’t want to hurt her in any ways. And yet, she still took the decision to let Shuichi take control.

“Hey, Mama’s getting tired, so she’s gonna untie you. You have my consent to do what you need to lay your eggs, so be a good boy, yeah?”

With that said, Mel untied Shuichi and mentally braced herself for what she knew would be wilder and more intense than anything she ever experienced. Within seconds of untying Shuichi’s hands, he grabbed Mel’s hips and rolled over so he could be on top, thrusting erratically into Mel and leaving sloppy kisses on her neck and collarbone.

“Thank you… love you so much…

-I love you too, Shuichi”

Even with the strange, numbing effect of Shuichi’s pre-cum, Mel could still feel the heads of his cocks pressing harshly against her cervix with each thrust, trying to gain access to her womb to lay their eggs and then, with a particularly powerful thrust, it finally happened. Shuichi bottomed out in Mel and stopped moving, keeping himself as deep as possible, instinctively using his Quirk to stick his hands to Mel’s hips to keep her in place...

“I’m… I’m going to… fill you with my eggs now, Mama.”

Mel barely understood, the feeling of Shuichi going past that barrier inside her getting her over the edge and making her climax at the unusual, but painless feeling. Finally, Shuichi had his relief, filling Mel up with both cum and small eggs. It was enough to quickly bring Mel to another orgasm, wrapping her arms and legs around Shuichi to keep him close and sharing a messy kiss.

It wasn’t too long for both of them to fall asleep, exhausted by the intensity of what they experienced. The last things Mel noticed before falling asleep was the full but not really unpleasant feeling of the eggs inside her and Shuichi cuddling her and nuzzling her breasts, a strange, almost purring-like sound escaping his throat.

Mel woke up some time later, the full feeling now gone. A quick glance at the alarm clock telling her that she slept for about 6 hours. She looked around, wondering where Shuichi was, since he wasn’t beside her in the bed. She noticed that she had been cleaned up and that the bed sheets were even changed! Mel thought that she must have been in a really deep sleep if Shuichi managed to do that without waking her.

Hearing a knock on the door, Mel got up, wincing because she was somewhat sore, and grabbed a bathrobe to cover herself before opening the door. On the other side of the door was Magne, holding a platter with a leftover piece of Mel’s birthday cake and a cup of tea on it, a worried look on her face.

“Magne? What are you doing here?

- Spinner called me about an hour ago and asked me to come over and keep an eye on you… Are you… feeling all right? Do I need to kill him?

- What? No! Why would you kill him? And I’m all right… Where is Shuichi?

- He locked himself up in your gaming room… He looked like he had been crying and he kept muttering about doing something horrible to you…”

Mel pinched the bridge of her nose and let a sigh escape her. Of course, Shuichi would blame himself, even if he had nothing to blame himself for. If anything, Mel should be the one to be blamed, going to Shuichi while being aware of his situation. Mel took the platter from Magne’s hands and placed it on the bedside table, grabbing the cup to take a sip of the tea.

“What happened?”

Magne still looked worried as she asked; after all, Mel was a dear friend of hers, ever since they met up for the first time at a LGBTQ+ group meetup. It was even Magne who introduced Mel to Shuichi, knowing they would get along well.

“Nothing special, really, Magne. You know Shuichi, he’s just… blaming himself unnecessarily. To be honest… I think I’m the one who messed up… I… I really need to talk with him. You can go back home, I’ll call you later, ok?

- If you say so… Don’t hesitate to call me, or even come over at my place if there is anything.

-Yeah, thank you, Magne.”

After Magne left, Mel put on some pajamas to be more comfortable and went to the door of gaming room. It was actually a second bedroom, but since they didn’t need 2 bedrooms they instead used it for their computer and video games consoles, with a flat screen tv and with a comfortable futon that could become a bed if they had friends or family over who needed a place to sleep. Mel tried to open the door, but since it was locked, she gently knocked, putting her ear against the door trying to hear inside.

“Shuichi? Please, open the door, Shuichi! I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry… Please, we need to talk.”

Mel could hear movement in the room and then Shuichi’s voice right on the other side of the door, between sobs.

“Mel? I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry! I never wanted to hurt you, you know that, yeah? I… I know what I did was awful… I’m sorry…”

It took Mel all her willpower to not start crying too, but she knew there was no way she would be able to calm down Shuichi if he heard her crying.

“Shuichi, please, calm down and listen to me. You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who messed up. So, I’m the one who need to apologize. I’m sorry. I knew of your situation and I went to see you anyways. Because I wanted you. Because I didn’t want to spend my whole birthday away from you. Because, to be quite honest, the idea of being filled with your eggs was extremely appealing and arousing…

- Really? I mean… Even then… it must have hurt…”

Well, that was a bit of progress, Mel thought.

“Not really. I mean, yeah, I’m a bit sore, but not really much more than our first time together. Oh, and thank you for cleaning me up and changing the sheets while I was asleep.

- Hey, it’s the least I could do! Hm… About that… I think all the… I think you… “evacuated” them all in your sleep, but… maybe you should get checked by a doctor or something, just to be sure?

- I’ll keep it in mind, but I’m pretty sure they’re all gone. I think I would feel it if there were any left. Hey, Shuichi? I’m sorry, really. I… I really messed up.”

Mel’s eyes were stinging, tears silently slipping down her cheeks. The door opened, making Mel almost fall into Shuichi’s arms since she was leaning on it. Shuichi’s pink hair was a mess and his eyes were red from his crying.

“Stop. Stop apologizing. You… have you any ideas how glad I was when you arrived? When you were so willing to help me, when you even went along with… what I called you…? I… I remember everything… It’s a bit hazy, but I remember. I ASKED you to help me, didn’t I? I even begged. So please, stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong. I wanted it. I wanted you. I’ll always want you. I wanted everything you did.”

Shuichi gently dried Mel’s tears and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her. Mel reciprocated the action.

“I love you, babe. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t forget that.

- I love you too, Shuichi. Thank you.”

Shuichi chuckled. He had no idea how he got so lucky, to have someone who loved him so unconditionally.

“I should be the one thanking you. You’re always putting up with me. Hm… I know it’s a bit too late, but… Happy Birthday! I… I got you that new game you wanted. Sorry, I didn’t have the chance to wrap it. It’s hidden behind my games.

- Aw! Thank you!”

Shuichi leaned down a bit to be able to kiss Mel and hugged her tightly. They took turn taking a shower and then spend the few next hours playing with Mel’s new game and eating leftover cake. Strangely enough, this event only made them grow closer, and made Shuichi less ashamed of what he considered to be his “depraved” fantasies. Because, after all, if Mel shared his fantasies, they couldn’t have been so “depraved” after all. As such, he felt much more at ease to explore them with Mel, with rules and a safe word in place.

So, I recently recommended Castlevania to people based on the first 2 seasons, and having now seen the 3rd season I’m still keeping that recommendation but with some pretty strong warnings going in.

The TL;DR version is, I still recommend this series with the caveat that your mileage may vary depending on your tolerance for sexual themes and more specifically your sensitivity toward sexual assault. 

So uh, spoiler in the spoiler disclaimer, but content warning for discussion of the above themes. I apologize to mobile readers; this got long. I only feel the need to say all this because I have in the past recommended this show to people before these elements came into play in the first 2 seasons. So, I kind of owe it to those people who may have taken my recommendation to follow through now.

I’m sure it won’t come as a shock to anyone (or at least I hope it won’t) that Castlevania, the show which introduces its wandering drunk protagonist by having him overhear two inbred shit eating peasants in a bar talking about literal goat fucking, has a pretty cynical view on humanity and is a pretty hard R.

Most of that R rating and cynicism has been in regard to gore and Christianity and I’ve been extremely on board and pettily here for it. For all that it’s a gory mess with plenty of colorful language, however, it’s been extremely restrained when it comes to sexuality. 

For my ace ass, that was kind of an appeal. I’m not opposed to sexuality in my media, but people do tend to make it... egregious and often unbalanced. It often feels that any media that gets that R rating just goes “Fuck it, may as well!” regarding shoehorning its nudity and sexuality. And frankly, censorship laws in the United States are FUCKING ANTIQUATED AS ALL HELL, so a rape scene where the camera ogles the woman’s breasts as she’s assaulted? Yeah, sure, that’s an R. Consensual sex scene that shows no genitalia but the woman in clear arousal? That’s an NC-17 for you. And that’s just women; don’t get me started on queer censorship, we’d be here all day. So, given the country I live in, the fact that I like horror and fantasy, and the fact that I’m an asexual woman, you can maybe see where my stance on sexual themes in any adult oriented media is just, an exasperated sigh as I boredly sit through another rape scene.

So, our first scene in Castlevania S3 is of Alucard, having been alone for the last month now, slowly losing his mind to crippling loneliness and overwhelming guilt after having murdered his father where Trevor and Sypha took him at his word when he said he would be the lone guardian standing vigil over Dracula’s castle and the Belmont library. Turns out he was wrong about being fine, which we knew from last season as it ended with him alone in his room sobbing his heart out, but he’s already losing his grip here as he makes little puppets of Sypha and Trevor to carry conversation with. An eccentricity he fully acknowledges is insane.

Our next scene confirms through dialogue that Trevor and Sypha are now in a sexual relationship, even though they’re only ever shown cuddling up in bed talking about The Plot and various happenings a few episodes later. Nothing explicit is ever depicted between them.

Alucard, on the other hand, picks up a couple of strays who were the thralls of one of the vampires killed last season, specifically the evidently Japanese one named “Cho” and our two new characters............ I had to google their names, Sumi and Taka, are also Japanese. They ask him to train them to kill vampires to protect their clan. Alucard, clearly remembering what he said about “Think of all the things Dracula could have done if he’d put all this knowledge toward helping people instead of giving into his rage and destroying them,” decides to agree and help them. He is clearly trying to be the person his mother would have wanted. Aww. 

Except not aww, Taka and Sumi are two clearly traumatized and deeply flawed people from the masses which this series is, again, extremely cynical toward. They are unsubtley fixated on learning more and more powerful ways to kill vampires and Alucard is pretty chill about it because he can’t see through the 4th wall and hear the ominous music or the glances they exchange when he’s not looking. This is purely for the audience. They at one point have a discussion away from him where they try to psychoanalyze him and decide that his isolation is a self imposed punishment for killing Dracula and that this is as close as he can get to killing himself without actually doing it. THIS IS FOR THE AUDIENCE. Then they mentioned they should give him a reward for what he’s done for them.

What happens next is difficult to break down from their standpoint, as they’re not particularly well developed characters, not being Important Characters but just a duo from the masses which the show dismisses, but if you’ve caught a single frame of Alucard this season, is easy enough to explain from his perspective. They come to him at night when he can’t sleep, tell him he deserves a reward, and proceed to make sexual advances toward him, which he seems somewhat embarrassed and confused by at first before quickly becoming a participant in. Again, it is well established by this point that he desperately misses Trevor and Sypha, whom he was already jealous of the connection between last season, and is profoundly lonely. The sex, which he consents to, is clearly a proxy as it’s all he can get for now. The sex is also, unfortunately, initiated under false pretenses, and ends abruptly when the whole thing turns into a Christ allegory and they pin Alucard in the crucifix position after having betrayed him with a kiss (and then some) and demand he show them the secrets they’re certain he’s hiding from them. Alucard tries to reason with them, still insisting he knows they’re scared but that he’s been nothing but honest with them, but they’re too traumatized and broken to believe him, and so he kills them in self defense, all still right there on the bed where they were having sex. He then, reminiscent of Dracula from the series opening, stakes their bodies before the entrance to the castle as a warning to those who would come to harm him, telling the audience that he is Lisa’s son in many ways, but he is also Dracula’s, and is realizing with time and experience now that his father’s sentiment toward humanity may not have been so misplaced.

So you know. Lot to unpack there...

BUT THAT AIN’T IT, FOLKS!

There’s another, far less interesting (unbiased review here, folks) character named Hector. He’s a forgemaster which means he makes monsters which are loyal only to him. He’s no Isaac (whom I’d mentioned his backstory/characterization just kinda left a general bad taste in my mouth before but OH BABY, AM I CHANGING TUNE ON THAT ONE. Could write a whole review on Isaac but I’m gonna stay focused here) but he’s apparently here to stay, so fine. 

There was an evil femme fatale vampire last season who kinda bored me who tricked Hector into betraying Dracula and then took him captive when she got what she wanted out of him. She did not trick him with sex at least but was still “evil manipulative femme fatale” which... *yawn* In S3 she drags him back to her home country and then proceeds to talk to her own sort of war council on how to get him to make a monster army for them to use that won’t just kill them all.

The lesbian vampire war council are fuckin interesting and I love 2 of them. The other one is an actually evil seductress femme fatale who DOES manipulate him with sex. Yay. How original. Well at least there are finally enough interesting, compelling women in the story that this isn’t our token evil female vampire so it’s easy for me to shrug off and forgive. All you need to know about Hector is he played with dead animals as a kid, it freaked his parents out when he kept reviving dead things, he killed them, now he’s a dead critter loving sensitive weirdo who was willing to participate in a “humane cull” that would leave the human race in essentially livestock pens for vampires. 

So the entire time the red headed femme fatale is trying to get him to see that she’s not so bad, vampires can be civil, we don’t want what Dracula wanted, my sister didn’t trick you she appealed to your reason, blahblahblah, she’s calling him a “good boy” and leading him on, i fucking quote, “walkies” with a leash. There’s also a comment that she tended to an injured spider once. So,, y’know, she’s him, which means she’s best suited to manipulating him. And Hector even admits to being aware of what she’s doing and calls her out on it, but he’s trapped and doesn’t have much of a choice other than to go along with what she does and weirdly seems almost content at times. His weird naturalist... weirdness probably gives him some inferiority complex when it comes to vampires, I don’t know, his backstory and motive are not connected in the least and I’m frankly not interested enough in this character to give him much contemplation since it’s pretty clear there wasn’t much going into his creation. Anyway. Long story short, she eventually, with only technically lying to him about the purpose of a particular ring she wears, lures him into having sex with her and in the heat of passion has him swear loyalty to her before slipping a cursed ring on him which binds him exactly as he’d just sworn, essentially making him a slave. The sex, again, also stops here, but she makes some extremely unsettling comments later on about how he was surprisingly good at sex and she might “train him.” Which.... where to begin other than yikes, and why, and, where in the hell was a guy who played with dead animals supposed to learn to eat a bitch out like that anyway??

This is where we also, tying the themes together, learn that one of the allies Trevor and Sypha have been teaming up with was a child killer the whole time. They only learn this after he dies helping them fight the evil that had come to his town (and after the most iconic line of the season; “What the fuck is toilet paper?”) which they accomplish, but not before failing to save anyone in the village, which was consumed in an evil ritual. They’re alone again, with a distraught Sypha realizing what Trevor had tried to forget by getting caught up in her optimism, that, say it with me now;

So there is your mostly unbiased spoilery context for the scenes in question. You can make up your own mind from there if that’s something you can handle, I’m gonna go on to add a few of my own thoughts which do not represent how I believe anyone else should interpret the show, this is purely my own train of thought here.

Sex consented to under false pretenses is still rape. I don’t know that I would personally classify these as “rape scenes,” but that’s just me. The reaction of the characters afterward makes me think Hector’s comes closer than Alucard’s, but the fact that both have appropriate reactions to being sexually betrayed makes me think that’s mostly what people are talking about when they say either one was raped. Hector later falls to his knees in a panic and hopelessness as he realizes “You made me a slave, my life is over,” and Alucard just lays there on the floor where he murdered his father as he weeps silently in contemplation of his own despair. That’s... some heavy shit, and I can, again, easily see where someone with a history of abuse or assault can be completely traumatized all over again watching this. As for the leeriness/attempting to be titilating/making rape “sexy” that a lot of adult fantasy/horror does... eh? I’m asexual, none of it’s sexy to me, and I was paying attention to the visual and audio cues the entire time that were making the audience aware with their ominous music, flashing between sex and battles against evil, and watching the instigators (Taka and Sumi, and Lenore the femme fatale vampire) as the camera focused on their scheming faces. The camera in Alucard’s scene especially just seemed to want to show us how sad and lonely he is, but that was pretty well established by that point and I know a sex scene devolving into a murder scene is jarring for people.

The themes of the season were manipulation, trust, and betrayal. Hector’s story reaches a pivotal turning point the moment the ring is slipped on him. Could it have been implemented differently than through the femme fatale seduction route? Absolutely, the show hadn’t really adopted sexual themes until this season and probably could have done so without it. She’d already lied to Hector an said that the rings were symbols she and her sisters wore to unite them, she could have been lying and welcomed him to join them and gotten him to swear loyalty to them in a ceremony after spending more time getting him to trust her. It was dumb and unnecessary and probably added in there just so maybe Alucard wasn’t the sole bearer of such an experience, or maybe because they shifted his plotline to fit in with the established themes, or maybe they could only sneak a bisexual threesome past the censors if they threw in more straight sex. What can I say? The cynicism of this show is relatable.

Alucard’s was less “Yikes” for me because he was never in a position where he didn’t have emotional or physical power over Taka and Sumi, he was a mentor to them who made no sexual advances whatsoever and seemed to only want to participate in their advances because it temporarily made him feel loved and worthy only to have the rug pulled out from under him and remind him that much more painfully of how alone he is, and how right his father may have been, and how wrong he was for killing him. Could this have been done without a sex scene? Yep, it always can. I know what the writers were trying to convey and I personally don’t have an issue with it and see its effectiveness, but I fully acknowledge another hour of spitballing in the writer’s room would have avoided that. I don’t necessarily think it’s a good or bad thing that they included this, it just... is, for me. I personally think if they’re going to confirm the sexual relationship between Trevor and Sypha, though, and then show us that Alucard is clearly missing them, there’s kinda one natural conclusion to make on how Alucard’s relationship with these two was going to go. I actually think it should have been better established and more time should have been spent on his relationship with them and depicted it as romantic/sexual from an earlier stage rather than just seemingly coming out of nowhere to people who hadn’t realized, “Oh, they’re his proxies,” earlier. I personally found it more tragic than traumatizing, but I don’t have a history of sexual abuse, so that is my own biased interpretation. If someone has that experience, I would not blame them in the least for finding this unpalatable.

Other arguments I’ve seen are, why is the only bi character shown to go through this kind of trauma? I mean, Alucard is our only confirmed bi character left for now, but Isaac is heavily implied to be queer, and again. Cynical universe. And he isn’t the only character period to go through it. They’re not singling him out because he’s bi, he’s just going through a character arc and is bi. I acknowledge again it could have been handled better but I don’t necessarily think this is biphobia so much as it is... unfortunate tone deafness. Tokenism is the problem, not Alucard’s bisexuality, so here’s hoping that we get another bi or queer character soon because as of right now, it’s just rife with unfortunate implications. I had this exact issue with Isaac’s backstory/characterization last season as our lone man of color with a major role and they immediately fixed his arc this season along with introducing several new characters of color and it was honestly the highlight of the season, so... the writers have proven to me that they can learn from their mistakes and spin my suspicion into HYPE, so I’m willing to give them through season 4 to see what they do with it.

I have also seen the argument for, why are the only Japanese characters tricky and sexually manipulative? Well, because they’re human and the show is extremely cynical in its depiction of humanity, we’ve just mostly seen that with white Europeans so far. As I mentioned before, tokenism is the problem. Is it annoying to see a sexually manipulative femme fatale vampire? Yes. Can I live with it and shrug it off a helluva lot easier when we get butch warrior vampire and tactical genius vampire talking back and forth about how they plan to conquer and drink an entire nation while espousing their affection for one another? Also yes!  While we do finally get a lot more characters of color this season who are fleshed out and beautifully complex and sympathetic, I think Taka and Sumi could have been better explored, since their mistrust of Alucard makes sense but their decision to have sex with him in order to get his guard down is... really not apparent other than through speculation with 0 textual evidence to support it. I don’t think they’re sexually manipulative because they’re Japanese, I think they’re sexually manipulative because the plot calls for it and they happen to be the only Asian characters we have for now and the writers made another pretty tone deaf decision. Behind the scenes, I do wonder if they were chosen from specifically Cho’s court just so the animators had an excuse to draw her some more/get that Japanese audience invested. Orientalism is a helluva thing here in the west though, and the sexualization of east Asians is especially fucked up and I’m not gonna say this did not have catastrophically tone deaf implications. I hope we get more Asian characters with a nuanced depiction, and even though they are the only Asian characters, they are not the only sexual abusers and they are far from the only sympathetically broken but dangerous characters we see.  

This is also, I’m fairly certain, a dual-studio production, and I do know Castlevania is a Japanese video game series based on European vampire stories, and in the endless love letter between Japanese and American media, some things gets botched in the exchange. That doesn’t excuse it, and that doesn’t mean it isn’t harmful, but I also don’t think it means “Cancelvania.” But I’m Mexican-American, and Not Asian-American, or more specifically Japanese-American, so, this is purely my perspective. 

I won’t defend the choices, I certainly won’t argue with people who draw a line in the sand and say “This is unacceptable, I won’t watch this,” that’s a valid perspective to have. To me, the writers through Isaac have proven they know when and how to correct course when they need to, so I’m cautiously optimistic that this was all build up for a dynamite season 4 if/when we get it. The show is cynical, I’m cynical, but I can recognize careful writing when I see it, and to me the highlights of this unrepentantly stupid fucking show that I kinda love are gonna be worth sticking through the stuff that makes me wrinkle my nose with concern because I want to see where it goes. A time may come when that stops being the case, but for me it hasn’t reached that point yet. I completely understand if it has for anyone else though.

私に薬の主人を呼んではいけない Chapter 01

SMUT ALERT!! 

Fai doesn't think the term 'drug lord' is an accurate description for his line of work. Of course, it's hard to explain exactly what it is you do when you find out that your Tinder crush is a officer at the Tokyo police department. Modern Day AU. KuroFai. Mentions of other CLAMP ships here and there. Full list of warnings at the beginning of each chapter.

Chapter 01 available here or click the read more link! 

Fai Fluorite was on his third large, triple chocolate caramel latte with 2 shots of expresso, and he wasn't even half way though his night yet. He had two more clubs to visit and a meeting with his Guatemalan importer to get though before he had to head to the Neko no me Café and start the ovens.

It took every ounce of his self-motivation to eat the grilled cheese his assistant, Syaoran, had so kindly acquired for him. It was easy to ignore the food while he balanced the books of Fenikkusu though. The once familiar task took frustratingly long…

Normally this particular establishment ran smoothly, but with Oruha out on maternity leave he had to spend a maddening amount of time keeping things moving. Don't get him wrong, he was happy for her—she had been trying for a child for so long after all—and he wanted her to have as much time off as she needed.

But—

He would be much happier with her back in her office where she belonged. There was just no substitute for someone who had been running this club for him for the last 8 years. She knew this place better then him naturally.

"Please eat a few more bites Fai-sama." Syaoran was frowning at him from the other side of the ornate cherry wood desk and the blond tugged his cheeks into a too cheery smile as he looked up from his work.

"I swear I'll finish it." His tone was purposefully cheerful, but he didn't quite manage to bring the smile to his eyes.

His assistant didn't look as though he was buying it today, and he wasn't sure if he currently had the energy to tug the muscles in his face any tighter.

Syaoran gave a defeated sigh—He could be such a smart kid sometimes.

Fai had every intention of sticking to his usual diet of pure sugar, caffeine and various other stimulants for the rest of the night. He would probably eat some blueberries at the café… Toyo had mentioned that the last shipment was deliciously ripe.

Keeping his body running when he couldn't sleep more than three or four hours a night was a delicate balancing act. Carbs and fat would make him sluggish and he couldn't afford that so early in the night. He had probably already hit his calorie goal anyways with the sugar packed lattes.

A greasy grilled cheese wasn't going to do him any good. Even if it was from the little dinner across the street and one of his favorite foods.

"Can you go run to the backroom and grab the inventory list for me?" Fai looked back down at the spreadsheet he was updating. Better to keep Syaoran busy then letting him fret over silly things like his lunch.

The teen nodded and pulled the door open just wide enough to slip through. After a year of working as the blonde's assistant he knew when to take a hint, and left quickly to give his boss some space.

The loud sound of the music rushed into the quite office like a tsunami despite his efforts, causing the blond to scowl. As soon as the door swung closed again the noise faded back down to a more tolerable level and Fai stood while grabbing the now cold sandwich off the plate. He had a hot minute before Syaoran would return—but better safe than sorry… Fai headed towards the employee restroom for some extra privacy.

Locking the door, he tore sizable chunks of the sandwich off and tossed them in the toilet. Flushing away the evidence, he sighed and washed the greasy residue off his fingers and dried his hands quickly.

Now to the next line of business.

If he was going to get though the rest of this night, he was going to need a pick me up.

It had been that kind of week unfortunately.

Or rather… That kind of month…

Year?

The blond wasn't entirely sure.

Fai pulled his cell phone out of the inner pocket of his dark blue Brioni suit jacket and set it on the sink. Digging a little deeper he found what he was looking for—a dime bag with just enough 'help' to get him though the rest of the night.

Lazily, he tapped some of the powder onto the shining porcelain of the sink. With practiced grace he shaped two identical lines with his visa. The only cash he carried was for the soul purpose snorting his snow, and he made quick work of twirling up his lucky ¥10,000 note.

Two deep breaths later and Fai was tilting his head back and closed his eyes while he sucked in a few deep breaths. What little discomfort he felt was quickly forgotten and the blonde used a damp paper towel to wipe down the side of the sink and slid the baggie back into his inner breast pocket.

He would need to do a lot more to get any sort of rush—but those lines would serve to make him feel a little more human.

He had been doing this on and off for years—and though he was sure his body would thank him for a brake form the illicit substances—he couldn't deal with it now. There were too many things that needed his attention. This shit was way better then caffeine that was for sure.

Once he was feeling a little more like himself, he leaned against the porcelain counter top and unlocked his phone.

The second line of break business was making sure there was nothing urgent that needed his attention. His people had his cell and knew that he was available at all hours should they need him.

No urgent texts, so there was nothing that needed his immediate attention. One of his bouncers had needed a few stiches after breaking up a bar brawl and Fai set a reminder to take care of the doctor bills and send him a card.

Emails for this week's accounting were coming in and he would add them to the books while he waited for Yuukito and Touya to show up for their opening shift this morning…

He added that to his calendar as well and sighed before hitting the home button. Between meeting with the troublesome supplier, one of his managers being out, and trying to get the months end accounting done he was going to lose his mind.

Absentmindedly he opened Tinder and started looking though the messages he had been ignoring for the last few hours. Maybe a good lay would help relax him enough to actually be able to sleep tonight…

Fai didn't have high standards and he had probably slept with half the men in Tokyo by now. Well… Half the gay ones at least. The blonde didn't care what line of work they were in—what they were majoring in—if they were vegan—liked beer or whatever else hipsters drank these days—what exotic vacations they took.

He just wanted them tall, with a strong shoulders, a killer body, and big cock. He didn't do clingy, long term, or batshit ether.

Fai already had money, nice cars, and a big house. He didn't need someone to take care of him—just get him off. As long as their kinks weren't anything too crazy, Fai was usually down to party.

It was nearing 10. Not too late to arrange something if he moved his schedule around. The blond scrolled though his open chats with a frown…

To clingy—To skinny—to short—to nosey…

Honestly with over nine million people in Tokyo the options were pretty shitty.

Back to the drawing board…

Backing out he started to sift through pictures of singles.

He never bothered to read anyone's profile and he sent the same messages to all of his matches.

Currently out on the town.

Would love to meet for a drink if you're not busy?

He made sure to include a few kissy faces and heart eye emojis and switched back to his email. It was Friday night so chances were good someone might take him up on his offer. If he didn't get a response soon, he was going to have to keep an eye out in the next club for a tipsy Mr. Tall dark and handsome that wasn't too far gone to keep his cock up.

He preferred his partners to be sober. They were usually better at actually getting the job done when they weren't too drunk to see strait.

Fai sighed rather loudly as the first responses started trickling in and read though them with disinterest. A few busy—a few too-forward responses including images of rather unimpressive genitalia—and hello!

My shift ends in two hours.

Still going to be out?

What were his chances that the hot one worked late? Fai smirked and sent back a thumbs up.

Where we meeting?

The blonde checked his calendar. He would be at Kyuden.

This club was on the tamer side—it had only opened two years ago and had surprisingly attracted an older crowed. Business men and single 30 something's who had money frequented the joint.

To cater to the more mature taste they usually had live local bands, or comedians preforming. It suited a more distinguished crowed better than thumping music and flashing lights the university students enjoyed. Fai rather liked Kyuden for that reason. Yuto kept it well managed so he didn't have to visit often—but they were looking to remodel the VIP area and Fai needed to approve the budget.

More privet rooms were needed—and more discreet seating.

Fai not only made sure that they had the largest selection of top shelf liquor in all of Tokyo, but at this joint he also staffed an impressive array of ladies to cater to the single gentlemen's needs.

So—like most of his establishments—it was walking the line of not quite legal.

It was far from a gay bar—but it didn't chase that crowd off ether. The could fuck quick in dirty in one of the more privet booths—and Fai could see firsthand the issues with the current layout.

Kyuden?

He received a response almost immediately.

See you then.

Perfect.

Fai slipped his phone in his pocket and turned to look in the mirror. He splashed his face with cold water and toweled his hands dry before heading back out to the office. Syaoran—the sweet thing that he was—had returned with not only the ledgers but also what looked to be another coffee for him.

"Thanks, Syao." Fai winked at him and accepted the folder as well as the warm paper cup that smelled like heaven.

"No problem."

Hiring this kid was honestly one of the best decisions he had ever made. Syaoran had started out as one of Fai's 'boys.'

Syaoran was not cut out for moving goods though— but he had needed a job. Fai had taken pity on him and hired the kid as his assistant. It turned out that he was a hard worker and had good taste in coffee, so it worked out for both of them.

He always seemed to know when Fai needed a refill on his latte, a Redbull, or shot of tequila.

The blonde had been though a lot of assistants over the years—that particular skill was a rare talent that Fai greatly appreciated.

Poor thing had made the unfortunate mistake of getting his girlfriend pregnant when they were still in high school, and regrettably, he had been forced to drop out to support them. There little son Tsubasa was too cute and Fai had a soft spot for kids. Syaoran was an honorable little knuckle head—so Fai had also hired his honey to work at his café during the day as a server.

Sakura was ditzy and clumsy, but she made up for that with her kind heart.

The blond sat back down in front of his macbook to focus on what he was supposed to be doing in the first place. His little hit early was doing its job and he powered though the last of the book keeping faster than originally planned.

They had made a profit. He always did—but the numbers were still lower than they had been before Oruha had left a month ago. It wasn't as though the staff had forgotten how to do their jobs—they were simply slacking since there manager was not there to ride them on their duties.

It peeved him… But made him appreciate the hard work of his managers. He wouldn't be able to run his business if it wasn't for their hard work… He couldn't do this for each one of his 22 clubs. Even if he never slept, he wouldn't have enough time to oversee all of the little details.

The blonde made a note to give each one of the managers a bonus. Keeping them happy and right where they were was paramount to making sure no additional responsibilities feel onto his plate.

Fai felt his eyes getting heavy again, his concentration didn't last long. He managed to discreetly excuse himself to the bathroom again and took another bump before he and Syaoran headed out to meet the distributer.

His McLaren 570s was in the parking garage across the street in his reserved spot. Syaoran rode shot gun and Fai put the top down as they pulled out onto the busy street.

Tokyo always had traffic—and after navigating those packed streets for 18 years—he knew the quickest ways to get around town.

They were meeting at one of his warehouses in the industrial district. As soon as they exited downtown, the traffic thankfully died down enough to actually feel some wind in their hair as he cruised the artificially lit streets in a comfortable silence. He pulled up with time to spare and double parked in front of the building.

During the day this place served as a clothing Wearhouse. Fai owned the property and rented it out to some exporter who sold cheap clothing online to rich foreigners. They got the space for cheap and Fai used it after hours for his own needs.

It worked out perfectly as a place to transfer goods, and as far as his intel went, the police had no idea. He switched it up every few weeks whether they were suspicious or not though. He hadn't had a meeting in this particular building in a little over a year.

Two of his enforcers were already waiting for him. Syaoran followed close behind him as they got out of the car and slowly approached Kusanagi and Seshiro. Both were dressed in their usual uniform. Black skin-tight tee and black jeans that served to make their muscles look even more impressive.

Too bad both men were spoken for. Seshiro was currently engaged to one of Fai's managers and Kusanagi had himself a cute little wife at home.

"Evening Sir." The men said in unison and Fai grinned at them.

"Have our guests arrived?"

He didn't expect any trouble. Even outside of Japan the exporters he worked with knew what happened when you crossed him.

If they tried it? Well the night would be a little interesting then now wouldn't it?

"No sir. Fuuma is with them in rout. Traffic." Seshiro returned his smile before opening the door to the Wearhouse.

That was all good and well. Fai could live without being the one fashionably late this time.

The blonde entered with his assistant following close behind him. They made themselves comfortable in one of the offices and waited. Syaoran made some tea and Fai checked his phone.

Kanoe, the manager of Kurōbā had texted him to inform him that one of the bartenders had quite mid shift. They were handling it for now but were going to need to get a decent replacement asap to handle the 4th floor bar.

He had a few promising resumes waiting for a spot, so Fai sent back a text that she needed to set up a meeting with him to go over them to find a suitable replacement. He accepted the meeting request that came in moments later.

Tomorrow at 5pm was early for him… but if she was short staffed, he could do it. Okoku brought in a good amount of money for him and if they had to shut down an entire floor, his pocket book would notice.

Now that that was settled Fai moved on to the next line of business… He opened a text from his step dad praying that it wasn't bad news.

It wasn't that he didn't get along with Taishukuten—not now that he was an adult at least. They just didn't talk unless it was about Ashura. If his stepdad hadn't married Fai's adoptive father, and had simply remained his law partner? Fai would probably avoid him.

After stepping in as a step parent and being put though the ringer by both he and his twin from the time they were first going through the emotional, hormonal, train wreck that was middle school? The feeling of polite annoyance was mutual.

Needless to say—the only time he got a message from the man was when something was wrong.

A picture of his father and… a cat?

Awe.

They had gone out.

How sweet.

Fai sent back a few hearts. He couldn't tell where they were from the background, but he was glad that Taishakuten had gotten Ashura out of the house. Since the accident his adoptive father had a tendency to stay cooped up in doors more often than not.

Fai saved the photo to his phone and set it as his wall paper. There were too few happy moments in his life recently. He like to have reminders of why he did all of this garbage to begin with.

Tapping the home button, he smiled at the new photo one more time before checking his tinder messages. Nothing else from—oh what was his name?

Kurogane?

Well at least his name matched his serious profile picture.

Fai looked through the few photo's the man had attached to his profile and smirked. He hoped Kurogane was as handsome in person as he was in these pictures.

One of him wearing a traditional Hakama was particularly charming. He must be into some sort of martial art—which hopefully meant he was in wonderful shape.

Fai smirked thinking about taking body shots off a well-toned stomach… Maybe this Kuro would be up for some less traditional fun tonight. It might not be the best idea seeing as he would still have work to finish tonight… but it was tempting.

If they clicked Fai thought he might chance an evening off to have some much-needed naughty relaxation in an actual bed. Maybe a ritzy hotel with a jacuzzi and bottle service in the room?

He could tie Kuro-hottie to the headboard and lick whip cream off his most sensitive areas?

"Is something wrong Fai-sama?" Syaoran came back into the office carrying a small tray with two cups of steaming tea—green tea of course—and pulled him out of his fantasies.

"No. I decided to meet someone tonight at Kyuden for a drink." Fai turned the phone so that Syaoran could see the photo of Kuro in his sexy hakama. "Cute ne?"

"If you say so Fai-sama." Syaoran laughed awkwardly and the blonde found himself chuckling.

This poor kid knew way too much about his sex life… Fai was severely allergic to long term commitment but had an obnoxious need for human contact. This caused and interesting predicament that played out in a near constant steam of short flings and one-night stands.

In the last 10 years his longest relationship had lasted a whopping 4 months and ended with him leaving his date at fancy eatery in Paris when they had dropped the L-bomb.

"If you wanted to call it an early night, I wouldn't be mad. I'll have Kusanagi give you a ride home after we finish up here?" The blonde offered with an innocent smile.

As much as he loved having his assistant to vet his phone calls and get him lattes, he didn't need the poor thing waiting around while he got plowed in a semi-privet booth by his date.

He paid him handsomely—but not enough for that.

"Yeah. The baby has a cold and I know Sakura-chan is exhausted from staying up with him." Fai frowned at that. It was that time of year he supposed… But why hadn't Syaoran mentioned it earlier?

"Why don't you have Sakura take the day off tomorrow too? I'll toss her an extra vacation day, so you guys can all take a day to rest." Fai was always lenient when it came to things like this. Surely Syaoran knew all he needed to do was ask and his boss would send him home?

"Are you sure that's ok Fai-sama?" the brunet didn't like to accept charity—the fact that he didn't out right refuse showed just how stressful having sick baby really was. He couldn't relate—probably would never have children—but he had spent enough time around their little tot at the café to know he was a handful when he felt under the weather.

"Yes." Fai confirmed.

Before his assistant had a chance to say anything further Seshiro knocked on the door of the office. Fai sipped his tea as he entered into the cramped room and closed the door behind himself.

Looking out the large window that overlooked the main floor Fai could see that the new distributer was waiting very patiently for them. He had brought a man and a woman with him—it wasn't unusual—normally distributers were accompanied by bodyguards like Fai's enforcers—but not always.

It was ether a show of faith.

Or over confidence.

Only time would tell.

"Are you ready Sir?" Seshiro didn't seem overly concerned.

Must not have found anything alarming on them during the pat down.

Wordlessly Fai stood, and they made their way out of the office. Fai had pulled a serene, emotionless mask onto his face and walked with Syaoran and Seshiro behind him, head held high, eyes blasé.

This was a well-choreographed dance. He had a reputation to maintain after all. It had taken a few years to prefect this particular act, but it had served him well so far.

He wasn't Fai Fluorite—the friendly neighborhood drug ring leader. He was Fai Fluorite—the slightly off his rocker, smiley psychopath that wouldn't think twice about ordering a hit on you or your entire family if you crossed him.

Once he was just close enough to see the individual hairs on the man's head, he offered a pleasant smile. "Its nice to meet you in person Mr. Reed."

Fei Wang Reed did not seem pleased to see Fai. This meeting was to set boundaries after all—and no one liked to be scolded.

"The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Fluorite." Fai could tell that he was forcing a calm tone as he spoke—he could see the anger in his eyes.

Good.

He may have just climbed to the top of the food chain in South America—but he was in Fai's house now.

His guests had to play by the rules.

His rules.

Tokyo was a big market after all. Sure—finding a new supplier for coke would be annoying. The stuff he had gotten from Fei Wang Reed's predecessor had been top grade, and Fai's boys had been able to cut and move the stuff faster than he could import it.

This last shipment? Low quality and full of cheap and slightly hazardous additives.

Since Cocaine was the drug of choice of his most wealthy clientele—he was not happy.

He was a drug lord sure—but he wasn't going to lower his standards and start selling low quality, possibly harmful shit to his customers just because he had gotten ripped off. He had built his business on his integrity after all.

"I'm trust you received my return shipment?" Fai made sure that his face was a perfect expression of disinterest. His tone apathetic.

Fai had sent the cheap shit back, along with an invitation to discuss their future business relationship.

"I apologize for the misunderstanding." Reed offered. He didn't shift under Fai's gaze.

He was a ballsy one alright.

Ballsy enough to send a response stating that they had tried to provide him with a service by sending him 'precut' product so that he would be able to get it to his customers sooner.

Right.

"And I trust that you have ensured this shipment is what were accustomed to receiving form your office?" If it wasn't, Fai was going to have to teach him a lesson… He would very much prefer that Fei Wang Reed followed his warnings.

"See for yourself." Reed tilted his head to Kusanagi who held out a small sample baggy to Fai.

He had been doing this a long time—and had picked up a few tricks over the years. The first rule of dealing with someone like Fei Wang Reed was assuming they were trying to off you.

It was pretty much the ultimate goal in the business he was in. Currently Fai was the ring leader of the drug trade in the Tokyo metropolitan aria—taking him out would be a big step up for someone like Reed. The respect he would earn from accomplishing such a task would be more them enough to ensure at least a few years of control.

"Syaoran. Please bring that table over here." The blonde motioned to one of the folding tables that was set up against the far wall. Reeds eyes narrowed—no doubt offended—but the blonde didn't care.

His assistant complied quickly. Fai dumped half the powder on to the table and used his Palladium Visa to slide it into one long line. Fai fished out his lucky ¥10,000 note and made quick work of rolling it up and handing it to Fei Wang Reed.

"Cheers!" Fai chimed.

Reed was glaring daggers at him as he accepted the note. Fai didn't buy for one second that this man didn't sample his own products—so he was ether seriously offended—or about to snort his own poison.

He bent, and Fai watched him finish the line in one go before straitening and tipping his head back—snuffing his nose loudly.

So that was a no on the poison then…

Fai pinched the edges of the dime bag between his index finger and thumb forcing the plastic to pucker open. It smelled fine… looked good… apparently not laced with poison…

Fei Wang Reed had apparently come here in the hopes of saving a client. For now, at least.

"Much better than the last shipment." Fai offered, but Reed continued scowling at him.

He would buy enough from the man to smooth his ego over the next year no doubt. Business was business after all. Nothing soothed a bruised ego like regular orders totaling over 50 thousand dollars.

"I am glad that it is up to your standards." Fei Wang Reed managed to keep his tone even, but the blonde could tell that he was seething.

"Yes. Sorry to drag you all the way out to Tokyo for this meeting. I'm sure you understand the importance that were on the same page however." Fai turned and started to walk towards the entrance of the warehouse. "Fuuma will take you to your hotel room. We should grab dinner before you head home."

Reed didn't answer, and Fai didn't look back to see his look of annoyance as he strolled casually out of the building. Seshiro and Fuuma would be keeping a close eye on him for the remainder of his stay.

Kusanagi and Syaoran followed after him. As soon as the door closed Fai heard his assistant let out the breath he had been holding. Even after 6 months he still wasn't used to the tense situations that came with negotiating price and purity.

Poor kid.

Kusanagi had joined him after he had left the military and was not so easily shaken. He placed a reassuring hand on the teens shoulder as soon as they were out of the building. "Once Fai gets outta here I'll take ya home. Give your nerves a brake."

Fai smiled kindly at both of them and checked the time. "Have a good night you two. I'll see you both soon ok?"

"You heading straight to Kyuden then?" Syaoran grabbed his bag out of the passenger seat of his boss's car. He dug out a small can that he offered to the blond.

Just what he needed—more caffeine.

Fai accepted the red bull. He opened the can and sipped it before answering. "Then to Akai Shiro and finally Neko no me Café."

"Please make sure to go home and rest Fai-sama." Syaoran's face was worried as Fai finished off the last of the energy drink and crumpled the can in between his hands before tossing it in a nearby garbage bin.

"I will."

He wouldn't.

Fai wasn't jittery—he existed in a state of perpetual exhaustion these days. His insomnia didn't seem to think he needed any sleep between working 18-20 hours at a time though. He would probably just go home and toss and turn between short naps.

He refused to admit that his poor diet, lack of exercise, coke habit, and the excessive amounts of caffeine he consumed on a regular basis had anything to do with it.

Hopefully Kuro-handsome would tire him out though.

Fai got into his car and backed out of the parking lot slowly. It was almost midnight and the lateness of the hour did nothing to unclog the constantly overcrowded streets.

The drive was tedious, but Fai didn't mind. He did his best thinking when he was stuck in traffic anyways. He ended up putting the top back up on the Mclaren and blasting the music.

There was a lot for him to think about. The café was doing well for only being open for a year—and a food critic was going to by tomorrow to write an article about them. He had to do the prep work for Toya so he could really wow him or her.

The good press might bring in enough new clients to fund the opening of a second café… Yuuko, his personal attorney and impromptu life coach, had warned him to keep the funds for the Neko no me Café completely separate from the rest of his affairs, as it was the only joint that had nothing shady going on.

He was building his safety net should things go south with his more lucrative clubs.

In reality he was hoping that he could eventually manage his expenses with the café's profits alone and sell off the riskier side of his business to be done with the madness of it all. The novelty had worn off years ago and he was getting to old to deal with the constant power struggles, and import/distribution issues anymore.

It was affecting his mental health drastically.

His family was starting to notice… Ask questions… it was all becoming so terribly complicated.

When he had first dropped out of college to deal, he had resigned himself to the fact that he would probably end up this way. Even the best of them did. It was a hard field to be in… But he couldn't help hoping that maybe there could be more to his life then working 100-hour weeks.

Fai sighed loudly as he pulled in front of Kyuden and tossed the key fob at the bouncer. There was no line outside the door like most of the clubs he owned—Kyuden was slower. There VIP tables were booked up most nights though and even with less foot traffic, Yuto pulled in a nice profit for him.

They sold more skin then booze here.

The blonde pushed the heavy wooden door open and smiled kindly at the hostess who greeted him. She knew who he was. They all did.

"I have someone important meeting me here for a drink soon. His name is Kurogane. I'll be at my usual table." Fai flashed her the profile picture and she gave him a knowing smile and nodded—making a note of his name on her list.

With that taken care of Fai headed in through to the main bar and headed straight up the stairs to the balconied VIP section. Yuto had been behind the bar mixing drinks for an older couple but nodded his acknowledgement before continuing what he was doing.

The most privet booth had been reserved for him when he had announced that he would be stopping by to talk budgets tonight. It worked well for a privet conversation about finances, as well as some hot and haughty alone time with his date.

Hopefully he wasn't shy.

Fai took out his phone and sent a quick message to Kuro-muscles.

I got us a booth.

Let the hostess know you're here to meet me.

she will bring you back.

While he waited Fai ordered a black coffee and stood to refamiliarize himself with the layout of the upper level of the club. There wasn't much unused space to work with… but they could probably move some things around to suit the guests needs better.

As it was—most of the tables had a wonderful view of the stage down below—but no view of the other patrons. That seating was rather limited however… only so much room.

The blond rubbed his temples and checked his phone again.

Be there in 5.

Fai finished of his coffee and double checked his appearance in front facing camera of his phone. The waitress swung by and collected the empty mug and left two drink menus in its place—and he was left watching the entrance of the club impatiently.

True to his word. Kuro-sexy arrived in five-ish minutes.

Dear god was he tall.

Kurogane towered over the hostess who had been just a few inches shorten then himself in her heels. He looked uninterested as she flashed him a flirtatious smile and Fai was left smirking as he followed her though the main bar and up the stairs.

He made himself look busy by checking his phone as they made the rest of the trip to the far end of the VIP section. He could hear his heavy footfalls as they approached but didn't look up from what he was doing just yet.

He didn't want to look thirsty—even if he was.

Kuro-hunk didn't need to know how desperate he was. It would probably be a huge turn off.

"Here you are sir. The waitress will be by shortly to take your order." As they were trained to do, the hostess bowed deeply and Kurogane thanked her before sliding into the circular booth next to the blond, Leaving a respectful amount of space between them.

She left them be, and only then did Fai look up from his phone to flash his most dazzling smile. "Thanks for agreeing to meet me on such short notice."

"Yeah." Kurogane was looking him over carefully and Fai just continued to smile. He knew he was exotic looking compared to your average person here. He had been born overseas after all.

Maybe Kuro-broad had a fetish for blondes?

"Something wrong?" He kept his voice purposefully sweet and tilted his head slightly to the side.

"Not really. You normally dress like that?" The raven-haired man's voice was deep. Wonderfully deep.

Fai glanced down at his outfit. Yes—yes, he did. He was almost always dressed in a three-piece suit.

"Work cloths." He confirmed and Kurogane nodded. Still watching him with piecing crimson eyes.

Fai hadn't noticed his eyes in his profile picture, but they were stunning.

There was another long silence between them and Fai was starting to wonder if something was amiss? Something in his teeth?

He was hot, but for Christ sake. You would think he had sprouted a second head with the way Kurogane was scrutinizing him.

"I don't mean to be rude—" the tanned man finally spoke. "—and don't get me wrong I think you're… You're fucking beautiful. But why the fuck are you, of all people on a hookup app?"

Oh?

Fai smiled. That was not the first time he had been asked this on a date before. Especially if they saw him pull up in one of his expensive cars—or when he ordered the most expensive menu items.

He made a point not to allude to being well off financially before he met someone the first time. It attracted the wrong crowd.

"Trying to find out what's wrong with me?" the blond gave a mischievous smirk, his nose wrinkling with amusement at the younger man's words.

"Tch. Pretty fucking much." Kurogane finally glanced over the menu and Fai shook his head slowly.

Such a potty mouth.

"I'm an emotional wreck who works 80+ hour weeks and I'm in desperate need of a good orgasm for my sanity." Fai deadpanned, and those crimson eyes locked with his own.

He saw the younger man's ears tinge red at his directness.

Ugh. How freaking cute.

"What about you Kuro-handsome… Why is someone so—" Fai gestured vaguely in the man's general direction and smirked. "—surely you must have gentlemen such as myself—well you know." The blond winked, and the blush spread to the taller man's cheeks.

Oh god. Why was he so cute?

"Same, minus the emotional wreck part. I moved here and I'm working late shifts so it's hard to meet people… And my name is Kurogane." Kuro-proper set the menu aside and the waitress took that as her que to interrupt them for their order.

"Let Yuto know I'll have his recommended scotch. Neat please—" Fai looked at his companion and cooed. "And this handsome gentleman here will have—?"

The red spread further on his cheeks still and he swore he saw Kurogane's eyebrow twitch. "Masumi sake."

The woman nodded politely—used to Fai's flirtatious behavior with his 'guests.' She retreated to retrieve their drinks leaving him to continue to smile at the seemingly grumpy man if front of him.

"So, you just moved to Tokyo?" Fai said to break the silence.

Normally there was a hand down his pants by now and a few hikies on his neck. It seemed as though his companion was ether shy, or unhappy about something.

That was ok—he knew he had a tendency to intimidate people—younger men especially. They could chitchat till Kuro-cutie was comfortable.

"I moved here about a month ago from a smaller town just outside of Tokyo." Kurogane seemed to settle from his earlier embarrassment. He was still handsome even when he wasn't trying to hide his awkwardness, so Fai wouldn't complain.

"I see. And how do you like it so far?" Fai had met more than a few new arrivals to Tokyo since had started whoring his way through Tinder almost two years ago. A few university students—some art enthusiasts—young business man—they all had their reasons.

"I hate it. The rents expensive and there are way too many people. Its dirty and its always loud." Fai blinked a few times.

He wasn't wrong.

The blonde chuckled at that answer though. Kurogane really was no nonsense and Fai liked it.

"So, what brought you to Tokyo then if you dislike it so much?" The blonde had lived here his entire life, so he was used to the hustle and bustle of big city life—he knew it was off putting to some.

"Work. I'm hoping I don't have to stay for long." Well that was that Fai supposed—Tokyo wasn't for everyone—and it meant that Kuro-cranky wasn't looking for love.

Excellent.

"You have an accent. Were you born here?" Kurogane asked when Fai didn't immediately respond to his earlier statement. He was staring at his body again—the blonde's suit was well tailored but in the darkness of the room it would be hard to tell what he had going on under the layers of fabric.

"No. I was born overseas. My father adopted me when I was little. This has been my home for the last 29 years."

A lot had happened in 29 years…

"Shit. How old are you?"

Fai was sure that out of the sparse information that he had included on his profile he had at least provided the fact that he was into boys and his age… that's all the information there was about him…

"I'm 33."

"Damn. I thought that was a typo. You sure as hell don't look 33." It was Fai's turn to laugh uncomfortably.

He was fine with an age gap for something like this. They were both consenting adults—and seemingly attracted to each other. Anyway, he actually preferred his partners younger then himself. He would rather play the roll of sugar daddy vs. sugar baby with the people he dated.

No matter how casual the relationship, or who toped whom.

"I'll take that as a compliment I suppose."

Kurogane's checks flushed again and he scrubbed at his face roughly with both of his hands.

"—I didn't mean— you're fine. I didn't mean to make you think there was anything wrong with that. It ah—just surprised me is all." Those crimson eyes fell to stare at his tanned hands and Fai tried not to grin too widely.

Kuro-shy was adorable. He shouldn't tease him too badly else he may scare him off.

"You've never done anything like this before have you?" the blonde chanced reaching his hand out to place it over the younger mans in an attempt to comfort him.

He didn't flinch at the platonic touch. That was good right?

"This is the first time I've actually met someone off tinder in person." Kurogane admitted.

No wonder he was so nervous.

"Well there is a first time for everything. We aren't going to do anything you don't 100% agree to. We can just have a drink and talk if you want?" Fai really wanted to get his clothes off and ride his dick until he saw stars. But only if Kurogane wanted to pound him till he couldn't walk right.

Fai had enough people trying to get in his pants without having to pressure his date into sex.

"Its not… Fuck. It's not like that ok?" the raven-haired man seemed to get even more flustered and Fai's amusement tuned to confusion.

What the hell was it then?

Tonight was not supposed to be this complicated.

"I'm not some sniffling virgin-" Kurogane locked eyes with Fai and glared hard. "You're just… not what I'm used to. That's not a bad thing I just don't… want to do the wrong thing."

"Oh." Fai said.

Not what he was expecting? What was he expecting then?

"Are you pleasantly surprised or moderately disappointed Kuro-muscle?" Fai offered in a teasing tone as the waitress brought there drinks back to them. Fai thanked her for the both of them and took a nice log sip of his scotch.

"Both. You're hot as fuck but annoying as hell. And my name is Kurogane." His companion sipped his sake and watched Fai with sharp eyes.

"Whaa? Kuro-meanie thinks I'm annoying? I was only concerned for your feelings…" he said a little too loudly in a whining pout.

"Are you some kind of idiot or something? Ku-ro-ga-ne." those red eyes were glaring sharper still and Fai chuckled. They were almost sharp enough to cut paper.

It shouldn't be so much fun to get a rise out of him.

"Kuro-tan?"

"Kuro-gane. It's not that hard." His eyebrow was twitching now, and Fai had to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back his grin.

"Kuro-pii?" the blond said innocently and sipped his drink again.

"Jesus Christ…" the younger man rubbed at his temple. "Say it with me. Kuro—"

"Kuro—" Fai chimed happily.

"—Gane." He repeated the second half of his name slowly. "Kuro—gane." Spoken with extra emphasis on the 'gane' part.

"Kuro-myuu?" Fai offered. He swore he could see a bit of his dates soul die as those words left his lips.

"Fuck me…." Kurogane was looking at him in disbelief. The blond wasn't sure if he actually thought him incapable of speaking his name properly, or if he knew the older man was pushing his buttons on purpose.

The fact that it was hard to tell was gloriously amusing.

Had no one ever teased this poor guy in his life? Fai was having far too much fun doing it now.

"Gladly." He made sure to keep his expression as neutral as possible while the younger man's face flushed beat red.

"Shut up!" Kuro-bashful huffed and looked away and Fai raised a single, impeccably manicured eyebrow at him. "You're a fucking weirdo you know that! That's what's wrong with you!"

Fai simply sipped his scotch and swished the earthy liquid around in his mouth, before swallowing it.

There was way more wrong with him then they had time to discuss—so he settled for continuing to tease his new friend mercilessly.

"I think I know what you meant by me not being what you expected."

Those red eyes flashed back to look over at him again and the blond gave a devilish smirk.

He thought about what he was going to say next carefully. He wanted to see those tanned cheeks blush dark enough that Kurogane looked like a delectably embarrassed tomato.

"You saw my picture and imagined a shy little blonde foreigner clinging onto you and blushing like a meek little bottom didn't know?" Fai always attracted that type.

He could play innocent if he was feeling it—but he had done things that would make your mother roll in her grave.

Kurogane seemed suddenly petrified by Fai's words as he continued to speak in a singsong tone. "Then you met me and realized I'm older then you and more experienced. I'm definitely not meek—I am not the one who has been blushing tonight—and you start to wonder how things would work out if we had sex right?"

Kurogane remained silent and Fai leaned in close enough to whisper hotly in his ear. "You're totally freaked out that your aroused right now—even though it might mean taking it up the ass from a pretty blond foreigner. Right Kuro-honey?"

"Shut—Shut up." Kuro-manly pushed Fai roughly away and the blond burst into a fit of giggles.

It was so much fun teasing Kurogane that it should be illegal…

"I don't see what's so fucking funny here blondie." The look of pure shame induced hatred was just too much and Fai covered his mouth with one of his hands in an attempt to get himself under control.

"I'm right aren't I?"

"I swear to god blondie if you don't shut the fuck up right now, I'm going to make you regret it."

Fai took another sip of his liquor. The distinct harsh taste helped distract him as he tried to think of what could put his potential lover at ease. When the last of the giggles had wiggled free of his throat, he slid closer to Kuro-baby again, so that their thighs were touching.

"I'm flattered that you think I'm so attractive you would let me fuck you Kuro-sexy." Fai drew out his words seductively and nipped at his junior's neck playfully. "But I have never had any desire to top anyone—definitely not someone as—" Fai sucked slowly on his neck this time. "—impressively tall and broad as yourself."

Kurogane shivered. Fai didn't know if was from sheer arousal or relief at knowing he wouldn't being trying anything too different tonight. Both were likely seeing the massive hard on bulging rather obviously in the man's jeans.

"I could perhaps be convinced to bend you the table and make you my bitch—But only if you beg me of course." Fai added as he looked up at Kurogane though heavy lashes.

"You're a fucking bastard you know what?" Fai yelped as he felt a muscular arm slide around his waist and pulled him close so that he was pressed firmly against Kurogane's hot body.

God he was big.

"You're not the first to tell me. It's not a secret." Fai sighed as his date ran a hand all the way up his side—applying just enough pressure to tickle through the layers of fabric—right to his neck, callused fingers brushing the sensitive skin in a surprisingly gentle manner.

Kurogane used his free hand to sip his sake and Fai was suddenly aware of just how horny he really was from just those chaste touches.

He hoped he didn't embarrass himself…

The waitress returned with a tray carrying another neat scotch and Masumi sake. She set both of them on the table—along with a suspicious number of napkins—and pulled the curtain that covered the entrance of the booth closed.

Kurogane looked confused and Fai used the opportunity to crawl into his lap—swinging his leg into position so that he and his date were nose to nose.

Fai didn't want to explain to him why there were privacy curtains on the booths—or that the waitress had closed the curtain because there flirting was probably catching other patron's attention. That would just ruin the mood.

Instead he closed the distance between their lips and kissed him sweetly. Fai would let Kurogane take the lead for how he wanted this to go. If that would make his lover more comfortable, Fai would roll with it. he relaxed into the taller man's chest and simply enjoyed as his senses as took his partner in.

Kuro-koi was warm. His skin felt hot against Fai's chilly fingers as he trailed them up and down his strong arms. He smelled clean—like aftershave and fresh laundry—and his lips were flavored with the sake he had been sipping.

All in all, he was intoxicating.

Kurogane seemed to get the picture and brought one hand up to tangle in the blonde's soft hair and used the other to lift his ass and scooch their bodies even closer, so that the smaller of the two had to crane his neck to keep their lips connected in the heated smooch.

Fai couldn't help the soft sighs he was making as Kuro-chi massaged his scalp and ran his fingers though his short locks while they kissed. The younger seemed to notice his fondness for that particular action and so continued to so even after their kiss broke.

The hand that had previously been on his ass started to loosen Fai's tie and the smaller man was biting his bottom lip while he watched Kurogane pull the decorative fabric fee and let it hang around his shoulders loosely. Next was the vest—but this required two hands—and Fai gave a disappointed whine as the he worked the layers of his clothing free.

Fai shivered from a combination of cool air of the room touching his previously covered skin, and his lover's hot hands ghosting over the sensitive flesh as he slowly worked the buttons of his dress shirt free.

His gaze had stayed transfixed on Kurogane's hands while they finished their task. The blonde considered what those hands would look like rubbing up and down his chest, and over the sensitive skin if his thighs.

An involuntary soft moan escaped his lips and he closed his eyes to picture it further as the younger continued to carefully undo each and every button with care. Fai didn't know it was because his hands were so big that he had a hard time with the little buttons—or if he was savoring the moment.

He didn't care ether way. He was enjoying himself.

Eventually the last button came free and Fai heard Kurogane growl as all three layers of his clothing were push off his small frame at once. Suit coat, vest, and dress shirt sliding to the floor underneath the table, forgotten.

"Shit." Kurogane leaned back and looked down at him. Fai was panting as he was observed though half lidded, hungry crimson eyes.

"Shit." he repeated as those hot hands were hesitantly placed on either side of the blonde's torso—just above the hem of his pants—and Kurogane bit his lip as he slowly ran them up and his naked skin, leaving goose flesh in his wake.

"Thank you?" Fai smiled at him and Kuro-swear at least had the decency to look slightly embarrassed at his language.

"Beautiful." He corrected, and it was Fai's turn to flush.

He had been called beautiful before—usually by woman with perhaps a handful of men offering those words to him—but never in the middle of sex with a Greek god of a man looking at his body like he was thanksgiving dinner.

Fai shuttered and closed his eyes. His entire body was feeling hot—he wasn't used to his skin being this sensitive but the raven haired man's feather light touches were driving him crazy.

He couldn't remember the last time he had had sex this good—and they hadn't even gotten to the actual fucking part yet.

This was not his usual quick and dirty hook up he got off tinder, and he didn't know if that was a good thing or not. Normal there was a few minutes of sloppy kissing before Fai got pushed against a wall, or bent over a table, and fucked hard and fast. Occasionally it ended with him getting sucked off if he needed a little extra help to finish…

No one had ever freaking worshiped his body with hungry eyes like Kurogane was currently doing. He had bent forward and was currently swirling his tongue around one of Fai's nipples while his finger gently massaged the other, alternating between rubbing the areola and pinching the tender skin between his thumb and index finger.

Applying just enough pressure to make Fai squirm his hips in the younger man's lap. He was acutely aware that this was not the most privet of setting and the blond mentally kicked himself for not finding them a better place to continue.

Fai wanted his lover very naked right now. Naked and on top of him—inside of him.

He didn't want to focus all of his attention on being quite—he wanted to scream in pleasure and curse his lover for making him feel so undone.

Not in the middle of his club though—definitely not in front of his employees. To ensure he didn't draw too much attention to himself, Fai was coving his mouth with one of his hands—his other fisting into Kuro-tease's tee-shirt.

All of these sensations were too much but in a wonderfully, overwhelmingly, delicious way that made him want to crawl out of his own skin.

Kind of like when you went to chiropractor—and their adjustments just hurt so fucking right.

Fai tugged particularly hard at Kurogane's tee and the younger stopped his intoxicating little nips and kisses to look at Fai.

"Do you uh… really wanna…?" Kurogane ground his erection against Fai's ass as if to finish the unspoken question and Fai whimpered and nodded his head quickly.

He was sure he was going to die after all of that teasing. He needed release.

"You wanna do it… here? I don't have any lube or a condo—" Fai silenced him with a sloppy kiss.

"Fuck the lube just use spit." Fai ground their hips together and Kurogane growled at the contact.

"And the condom?"

Fai would defiantly prefer it if they didn't use one—but now was not the time to push that issue. While he only ever used protection when his partner requested, he always came prepared.

"Wallet." His words came out in a breathy sigh while he shifted to regain the black leather Dunhill wallet. He retrieved the shiny metal wrapper and handed it to Kurogane before tossing his wallet back on the table.

To his surprise—the taller man set it aside and those hot hands run up his sides again and pulled Fai forward and the taller man kissed his way down the blonde's neck. Every move he made was smooth, paced, thoroughly deliberate, and it was intoxicating.

Kurogane ran those hot hands back down his sides, dragging his nails lightly across the smooth pail skin, then up his back. Massaging small circles in the tight muscles as he went. Fai was left again gripping uselessly onto his cloths and shifting his hips back and forth to create an enticing friction.

Eventually with enough quite whines Kurogane kissed his lips a little more roughly and reached for the blonde's belt. The buckle came loose with a little work and Fai shifted onto his knees so that he was eye level with his lover.

Their position was unfortunately awkward considering their tight quarters and the inconvenience of clothing. Fai didn't want to get completely naked in public like this… that wasn't a good call.

Again, he mentally kicked himself for not planning this better.

Kuro-crafty seemed to be content to make it work and Fai didn't question him when he was presented with three very large fingers. The blonde gave his best sultry look as sucked them with a little more force then needed.

Kurogane watched him with famished eyes—Fai hoped that he was thinking about what it would be like to have him sucking someplace a little more pleasant. His mind wondered back to his earlier musings about whip cream and a little rope and he moaned a little too loudly.

It was a much more—vivid—picture from the taller man's lap.

There was no need for fantasies when he had the real thing in front of him right now though.

Once he had meticulously coated Kurogane's fingers with saliva he closed his eyes and tried to relax as he felt that same hand slide down the back of his slacks. Kurogane probed at his entrance while nipping and kissing his way down Fai's neck and the overwhelming sensation of the hot breath puffing against his skin, and the gentle pressure of those slick fingers made him squirm.

The feeling of wanting to crawl out of his skin was back and his own breath of coming out in airy gasps before there had even been any penetration at all. At this rate he was going to cum—and that was embarrassing.

He wasn't used to someone being able to make his body react this way.

The first finger entered his body smoothly and Fai leaned forward to burry his face in the crook of Kurogane's neck to muffle his moan when he crooked it just right. The blonde swore he could hear a satisfied smirk in the younger man's next low growl.

Fai could only assume what he looked like right now. On his knees hovering above Kurogane's lap—ass out—leaning forward with arms wrapped around strong shoulders.

Sure, he could ruin the picture that his lover seemed so pleased with if he wanted to. That didn't sound like very much fun—so Fai let Kurogane continue to lead their little dance for now and closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling of strong fingers slowly stretching him.

A second finger was added and the taller mans free hand moved to tug down the front of Fai's boxers to free his arousal. His entire body shivered as Kurogane touched his cock just like he had been touching the rest of him.

Who would have thought him such a fucking tease?

Fai loved it.

A little more pressure was applied as Kurogane was smoothly running a closed fist up and down his length while the third finger was added. Fai had taken to kissing and sucking at Kuro-koi's thick neck and bit him rather roughly as he hit that bundle of nerves that threatened to put Fai over the edge.

"I take it—" Kurogane brushed it again while swiping his thumb over the head of the blonde's cock. "—that's the spot?"

"If you keep that up, I'm going to—"

"Do it." Kurogane massaged his prostate with a little more pressure and quickened the pace of his other hand and Fai unwrapped his arms and leaned his weight back so that he could kiss his lover.

"What about?" his eyes flickered down to the painfully obvious hard on in the younger man's jeans.

"Don't worry about that right now. I want to see you cum." Kurogane's voice came out in a low growl that caused Fai to shudder again.

"And is Kuro-sama usually such a gracious lover or do you just like to watch?" Fai leaned back into the raven haired man's touches, encouraging him to increase the pressure a smidge more.

He didn't answer—but Fai could assume from the way those eyes were watched the smaller man's hips moving provocatively—that he may have found a cute kink.

He could defiantly get into this.

Fai sucking in a deep breath though his nose and held it for a moment, in an attempt to get better control of the tingling in his cock. Not yet—this was too good to end yet.

The blonde made a show of using a single finger to tilt Kurogane's chin up, forcing their eyes to meet, before using the other hand to drag up his own torso. As he had expected—those crimson eyes locked in on what he was doing to himself.

Fai left a frustrated pout on his face while he closed his eyes and tiled his head back. With his own hand he traced up his sensitive side, traced over his protruding collar bones, ran them over his own erect nipples.

It felt nice—almost as nice as when Kurogane had done it for him earlier.

It must have looked nice too because he felt the younger man shift below him and sigh. The grip on the blonde's dick was firmer, and he was jerking him off faster now—matching the way he was moving his fingers.

Fai was bracing himself against the tanned man with a hand on his very warm, very broad chest. Said hand fisted in to the fabric, nails digging into his skin as Fai was hit with a sudden waive of pleasure that he wasn't expecting.

He came hard, back arching in an impressive show of flexibility as he covered his breathy gasps with his hand. Streams of sticky, hot cum shot out of him as he felt his member jolt.

Kurogane didn't seem to mind the mess that had spattered his clothing and continued to move his hands as his lover orgasmed.

When the last of pleasurable spasms washed over Fai's body the raven-haired man withdrew his fingers and reached for the napkins the waitress had so kindly provided them and started to wipe away the mess.

The blonde tugged his slacks up a little higher, so he wasn't as exposed, and shifted to sit next to him. Fai sipped his scotch and tried to think just how he was going to pay this little scamp back for that.

He hadn't expected this to take as long as it was—but this wasn't an unpleasant surprise by any means.

Slowly he leaned down to grab his clothing that was currently rumpled by Kurogane's feet and tossed them to the other side of the booth before sliding down to take their place.

"Hey, you don't have to—" Kurogane gave him a surprised look.

"I want to." Fai cut him off and placed his delicate hands on the man's belt buckle—pausing for permission.

Kurogane gave a nod and watched with wrapped interest as Fai turned his attention to the pesky cloths that was hiding his prize. He had popped more than a few belts in his day—and Fai was marveling and the younger man's impressive manhood within seconds.

The blonde licked at the impressive amount of precum that had collected at the head of his dates cock and concluded that Kuro-myuu had been enjoying himself with his earlier teasing. It was the blondes turn to make his partner squirm now though—and given their sizable age difference—he had a lot more experience doing just that.

Swirling his tongue around the head he slid both of his hands up under the hem of the dark shirt that was marring his perfect view of Kuro-love's no doubt impressive stomach.

And what a sight it was.

He was definitely going to need a night to admire this body in all its glory.

Fai took more of his lover into his mouth and sucked hard. Smirking around his cock, the blonde's blue eyes flickered up to see Kurogane's face, and he was not disappointed. Those red eyes were still watching him—only instead of being heavy with hunger—they were half lidded with need.

Good.

Fai closed his eyes and relaxed his throat and impressed himself by taking the entirety of his date manhood. Humming softly, he opened his eyes again and felt Kuro-wan twitch when their gaze met again.

Fai felt heat rushing back down between his own legs and he reached a hand down to slide inside of his own boxers.

Leaning his head back the blond applied just enough pressure with his lips to get his first moan. Kurogane raised a hand to tangle into his short locks and watched as Fai swished his tongue over the tip.

"Kuro-chan tastes good." He purred and felt the fingers in his hair tighten uncomfortably.

"It's Kurogane damm—Fuck…" Fai cut him off by sucking hard on the head of his penis and giving him an innocent look before closing his eyes and bobbing his head up and down.

It continued on like that. The older man earned quite a few moans and curses from the younger any time he would glace up or make a show of what he was doing. Fai could feel Kurogane getting close a few times—his cock was twitching with need—and he made sure to switch things up enough to keep this little game going for as long as he could.

He had been in the middle of deep throating his lover when he felt a tug at his hair. His eyes flickered up to see the taller man motion for him to come up with his free hand.

Slightly disappointed at not getting to show off the rest of his oral skills with the big finally, he climbed up from under the table.

He was letting Kuro-handsome be the boss. He had to remember.

Fai settled in the booth next to the raven-haired man and relished in the feeling off Kurogane's hands on his cool cheeks as he kissed him roughly.

"Not that that wasn't fucking amazing…" he let his words trail off and he kissed Fai more insistently. "I just really wanted to fuck you."

"By all means Kuro-chan." Fai cooed.

That had been the ultimate go of all of this hadn't it?

The blonde could tell that his date was much more excited now then he had been at the beginning of their little necking session. His hands moved with fervor as he tugged him into position and Fai found himself on his knees—hands gripping the top of the high back booth while his partner wracked hands over his body and kissed his neck.

He had already cum once tonight, but he was more than ready for round two.

He could here Kurogane opening the condom and adjusted his own clothing so that his lover would have better access to where he needed to be.

Fai held his breath as Kurogane slowly entered him—one of those hot hands on his left hip—the other on his right shoulder.

The blonde winced a little—Kurogane was definitely well endowed and prelubricated condom or no—it would unquestionably be more comfortable if they had come a little better equipped.

His discomfort was quickly forgotten when Kurogane reached around and grabbed his throbbing cock, however. After a few seconds of adjustment time—he set a brutally brilliant rhythm for them that had Fai breathless.

Was it possible to be addicted to a sensation? Because Fai was sure no other feeling in the world was quite like the feeling of Kurogane fucking him in this booth.

They were both exceedingly careful to stay quite—for Fai that meant again covering his mouth with one hand while he tried to hang onto the back of the booth with the other. Between his own muffles sighs and whimpers he could here Kurogane legitimately growling as he thrusted into him and it was honestly the most erotic thing that had ever happened to him.

Fai came shockingly fast and was sure his eyes were rolling into the back of his head from the hot waves of pleaser that were slamming into him with every thrust. Kurgoane followed not long after and the blonde found himself grinning as he came with a stream of curse words whispered under his breath.

Oh yes… this had been just what Fai needed.

Kurogane pulled out carefully and handed Fai a few of the napkins before cleaning himself up. Fai hadn't expected to be pulled back into his dates lap after they had finished—and he especially didn't expect to get a soft kiss on the neck and his drink handed to him.

"You're awfully sweet Kuro-puu." Normally Fai wouldn't tolerate such affections after a hookup—but he was starting to get tired and Kurogane was really very comfortable.

Besides they still had drinks to finish.

"Not really. What do you expect me to do? Zip my jeans and ditch after I just fucked you?" Kurogane sipped his sake and Fai rolled his eyes.

Yes. That is usually how these things went.

"That's normally close to how it goes. If I didn't know any better, I would think you had a crush on me." Fai leaned his head on his dates strong shoulders and yawned.

He was going to need to find somewhere privet to refresh soon.

"Fuck that. You're hot but I can tell your fucking insane."

Fai snorted. Good observation kid.

"You're not wrong there Kuro-woof." Fai tipped his head back and finished off the rest of his drink. He could vaguely here his stepfather scolding him in the back of his mind for not savoring the flavor of such an expensive scotch – but Fai only drank the stuff because he liked how it smelled. Besides the sooner they finished there drinks the sooner he could go top up.

"It's Kurogane you freak." The taller man fallowed suit and knocked back the rest of his drink. "Hey, you know where the bathroom is here? I gotta clean up a bit."

The blonde's eyes flickered to his soiled clothing and frowned. Yeah—that would be for the best.

"Sure. Just a sec ok?" Fai grabbed his own clothing and quickly buttoned up his dress shirt, tucking it in and fixing his belt in an attempt to look a little less sex rumpled. He didn't think he was pulling it off, and draped his vest, tie, and jacket over his arm and stood.

Kurogane watched him lazily and followed him out of the booth. Fai was reminded of his date's glorious height and smirked as he led them though the winding booths, back down the stairs, and past the door that very clearly read 'employees only.'

"Hey, is it ok if were back here?" Kurogane looked around curiously as Fai led him past the store room, back past the brake room, and into the employee bathroom.

"I work here silly." Fai winked at him, holding the door open for the younger man.

"You seriously screwed someone at your job? Your boss is cool with that?" Kurogane entered the room and looked at himself in the mirror. The dried cum on his shirt and pants stood out against his black clothing.

Whoops.

Fai didn't answer as he followed him in and started to fix his own clothing. The lighting was dim enough in the club that no one would notice. The light provided from the street lamps weren't much better, so it wasn't the end of the world.

"What are you doing after this?" Kurogane asked as he used a damp paper towel to try and get some of the evidence washed away.

"Going back to work." Fai made quick work of redressing. This wasn't the first time he had had to salvage a wrinkled outfit—wouldn't be the last.

"Fuck. Good luck with that." Kurogane gave up and tossed the paper towel in the trash and turned to lean against the sink and watch him.

"I take it your nightly excursions are over Kuro-tan?" Fai tightened his tie and pulled out his cell phone.

Ugh. He was starting to regret sending Syaoran home…

"Yeah."

The blonde ignored the text messages and emails that had flooded in since his arrival at Kyuden and went to his contacts. Opening up a blank card he handed his phone to his date and smiled.

"If you don't mind Kuro-cutie." Kurogane took his phone and gingerly entered his name and number into his phone and handed it back. "Thank you sir."

The blond stepped close to the taller man and pressed his back against Kurogane's chest. Lifting his phone up above both of there heads he gave a dazzling smile and cooed. "Say Cheeses Kuro-scowl!"

Of course—Kurogane didn't comply and instead of a selfie with two gentlemen smiling happily in a post sex glow—they ended up with one man smiling in a post sex glow, and one glaring so hard one would expect the camera to shatter.

And wasn't that perfect?

"Whaa! Look how cute we are?" Fai teased as he set the photo as Kurogane's contact picture. He also sent it to the younger man, so he would have the blonde's number.

"You are such a fucking weirdo." Kurogane growled at him but checked his phone as soon as the message came though non the less.

"Yes—but I am a hot weirdo." The blonde reminded before turning to lead them both back out to the main room of the club.

Fai tossed his cc on the bar as they passed Yuto and walked Kurogane back out to the street. "I ordered you an Uber."

"you didn't need to do that or pay for the drink you know?" the raven-haired man sighed and glared daggers at him.

"What's the point of seeing and older man if they don't pick up the tab?" The blonde teased and Kurogane gave him a slightly scandalized look.

"Hey! That's not what this was about!" Fai laughed. Kurogane was practically stomping his feet in frustration.

Luckily for the younger man, the cab pulled up and Fai graciously opened the back door for him.

Once the cab had pulled away Fai went back inside—he just had to get though the rest of the night… He could do this.

Dawson Grace

Story Post; I’m real proud of this one. :-)

After two days at APID, Nathan's sprain was starting to feel like it was almost healed. He walked on it a bit during the day but at night he was told the wolf would limp around his room looking for food. The guards on duty in his ward were given a small supply of food to toss in for him but ultimately it wasn’t enough to sate his appetite and he woke up very hungry every day. Reid had examined his neck wound when it had needed new dressing and it was confirmed as an animal bite, likely a wolf. Any deeper, and it could have been fatal. But it was healing fast so he didn’t have to worry about it. Reid had also had the chance now to look at Nathan in his wolf form and on the second morning, he had information he needed to divulge to the Kindergarten teacher. Nathan brought his breakfast up to Reid's office with him because he couldn’t believe how hungry he was now that the wolf couldn’t hunt. “Can you believe I was trying to transition into vegetarianism before I was bitten?” Nathan asked, picking up a piece of bacon off his bacon pile of a plate and shoving it in his face.

“Everyone always says they're trying to go vegetarian,” Reid said. “It's when they actually are that counts… And even then, it's a lost cause. This world is doomed regardless of what we eat now… Anyway, I'd like to talk to you about something rather unusual that I observed about you as the wolf.” “Okay,” Nathan said, trying to ignore the doctor's nihilistic statement. “Are you aware that when you become the wolf…” Reid said pulling up pictures on his computer. “…you also become female?” Nathan frowned. “I'm sorry… What?” “A guard noticed it the night before so last night after your transformation, we sedated you and took a proper look,” Reid said, turning his monitor for Nathan to see. They were close up photographs of the wolf's genitalia and chest. “Your wolf form is female.” Nathan's eyes widened. “You've got to be kidding… That's me?” “Aye.” “So you took pictures of my private parts?” “To show you. You understand that at this time, you were an animal.” “Wolf or not, I'm still a human with privacy rights!” “Except that you aren’t human in your wolf form. That's biology.” Nathan put his head in his hands, completely irritated. “…So you're trying to tell me that when I become the wolf, I become a girl?” Reid rolled his eyes. “Yes, you develop a vagina. Nathan, you need to calm down. So far, this has proved inconsequential, however it does give us more information about your condition and raises more questions. Like ‘Why do you become female?’ ‘Is this standard for werewolves?’ ‘Does this have something to do with the female that attacked you the other night?’ It's a lead, Nathan.” “Reid, I'm a lot more concerned with the fact that I have a literal sex change every night the moon wants to fuck me up!” Nathan said standing up. “Nathan. You need to sit down and calm down,” Reid said in a serious tone. “You have lycanthropy. You should be more concerned with the fact that you become an animal than that you swap sexual organs. What's in your pants doesn’t define who you are.” Nathan rolled his lips and sat back down crossing his arms. He'd forgotten he was talking to a transgender man. “…I'm sorry, Reid.” Reid waved it off. “Now, I understand your frustration but you shouldn't fret. We’re still just trying to help you.” “…Have you updated my case worker yet?” Nathan asked. “I sent out a report earlier this morning,” Reid said. “It wasn’t graphic, if that's your concern.” Nathan shook his head. “It's fine… At least… Now I know what Dax was trying to say before…” “Dax?” Reid asked. “Who, Dax Olivier? The teacher?” “Yeah, I slept over at his place the other day and he thought I was trans because he said he didn't see a dick on the wolf,” Nathan said. “You slept over?” Reid's eyebrows bounced. “It's not like that!” Nathan quickly snapped. “We went to another teacher's place for dinner because apparently we'd be teaching his kids and his…nibling. But I turned into the wolf when Dax was driving me home so he took me to his place because he didn’t want to leave me alone at my house or something like that… He didn’t get hurt because I was still injured so the wolf was really chill around him, I guess…” “Sounds like he likes you,” Reid said. “He doesn’t! We just met!” “Why else would he look at your genitals?” “You took PICTURES of my genitals.” “I'm a doctor. Dax is a teacher. And he probably does like you because I already told you, everybody probably wants to fuck you just a little bit because of the pheromones.” “I really don’t need to hear that…” Nathan said. “I'm not looking to date anyone.” “Understandable considering how your last relationship ended,” Reid commented. “Don’t talk about Hugh,” Nathan said. “I never want to think of that again.” “Well, luckily the quarter should have ended last night,” Reid said. “You can go home and do all the dating you want.” Nathan pulled out his phone and checked his moon cycles. “You're right… But I'm still not dating. I don’t want to put anyone else in danger.” “Such a lonely existence for a werewolf…” Reid hummed. “If only someone shared your affliction… Oh, right! Your werebear friend! He's very attractive.” “He kidnapped me!” Nathan snapped. “Did he though?” Reid said. “I had a chance to speak with him when I was stitching up that nasty gash on his face. Claims you did it, and you're an ungrateful little bastard who'll get yourself killed without him watching over you.” “He lied about his name. He's clearly a liar. And a criminal.” Nathan crossed his arms. “He ate people.” “Allegedly,” Reid said. “You should talk to him.” “I plan to,” Nathan said. “I need answers. Do you know where they're keeping him?” “Yes, he's in holding. You'll need a visitor's pass,” Reid said. “High security. Considered dangerous.” “And you want me to date him,” Nathan said. “Just because he's considered dangerous doesn’t mean he is,” Reid huffed. “Off you go then. I'll send a request for them to get you the pass once you're down there.” “What floor?” Nathan asked. “B15,” Reid said. “Code 1315.” “Thanks…” Nathan got up carefully, still a little wobbly on his feet from the sprain. “Whoa, are you good?” Reid asked. “Want your crutch?” “I'll just bring it with me…” Nathan said picking up the crutch and carrying it. He left the doctor's office and went to the elevator to take it down. He wondered if B15 was the lowest floor. The elevator only had a few surface level buttons, and then all the basement floors had to be punched in, some with codes, so Nathan hadn’t a clue how deep the facilities actually went considering every floor after B10 needed a code. When the elevator clunked to a halt and opened to B15, Nathan got out and was met with a small room with a security desk in a cage. “Name,” the guard at the desk asked. “Nathan Cassidy.” A visitor’s pass on a lanyard was pushed through a slit in the cage and Nathan took it and placed it around his neck. A steel door opened beside the cage. “Visiting room, third on the left. Room 1503. Do not enter any other rooms,” the guard said. “Okay. Thank you,” Nathan said, a little surprised at how fast Reid had gotten him the visitor's pass. “Call me.” Nathan blinked then looked at the guard who pointed to the visitor's pass. Flipping it over, he saw a note with a phone number on it. He blushed and just hurried along through the door. Three doors down and he was in the right spot. He walked in a found a very small room with glass divider down the middle through a table with a microphone and chair on either side. No one else was in the room yet so he walked over and sat down. After a few moments of waiting, there was a loud buzz and a door on the other side opened. Kent, or Dawson, or whatever his name was came in, glaring at Nathan. Nathan leaned his crutch on the table and pushed the button on the microphone. “…Can you hear me?” The other man visibly sighed, sat down, and pressed the button. “Yeah.” “What is your name?” “Dawson Grace.” “Why'd you lie to me about your name?” “Kent’s my middle name.” “Why didn’t you say so just now?” “Because Dawson Kent Grace sounds like garbage. Been going by Kent for a long time now. Now why’re you actually here, kid?” Kent asked. Nathan frowned and rubbed his neck. “I want to know what you know about me… Why you saved me.” “I woulda told you if you hadn’t hit me in the face with my favourite rack of antlers and ran off,” Kent said, getting cross. “I’d been hiding for twenty fuckin’ years and now it’s all over because you wouldn’t fuckin’ listen.” “You scared me. And you were holding me against my will,” Nathan said. “I wasn’t… Ugh!” Kent slammed his fist down on the table. “I wasn’t holding you to anything! I was protecting you!” “Why?” Nathan asked, recoiling a bit. “Because you’re fuckin’ helpless, you weak fuckin’ dog,” Kent growled. “If I hadn’t protected your scrawny ass, those other wolves woulda taken you out. They fuckin’ hate you.” “Why?” “No! I’m not answering any more of your fuckin’ questions,” Kent groaned. “I wasted so much fuckin’ time on you and all I get in return is fuckin’ arrested. You know, if they send me back, I could get the death sentence!” “…They still do that?” Nathan asked. “Yeah. They do.” “Well… I mean, I didn’t commit the crime…” “Oh. I see. Of course you believe them.” Kent leaned back in his chair and said something but the microphone wasn't on. Nathan pressed his button again. “…I didn’t hear that.” Kent leaned in real close the glass and pressed the button. “I didn’t kill those people. Alright? I was framed.” Nathan frowned. “Why should I trust you?” “Doesn’t fuckin' matter to me if you trust me or not,” Kent growled. “You're the reason I'm in here. You're the one coming down here wanting answers to your own fuckin' problems. You don’t care about me. You don’t trust me. Why should I care about you? Why should I trust you?” “Maybe I can help you,” Nathan said. “I can…um… I can put you in contact with my case worker, Korsgaard. Or maybe Demers. I heard he’s really good.” “Good at what? I’m an American citizen with a criminal record,” Kent said. “They’ll just deport me.” “Maybe you could claim asylum,” Nathan said. “I’ve heard of cases where people are ordered for deportation and still stay here another fifteen years somehow, despite repeat offences. Clearly there’s loopholes to take advantage of.” “…”  Kent narrowed his eyes. “You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” “Maybe I don’t, but my case worker does,” Nathan said. “These guys have a soft spot for nonhumans and whatever. They get that it’s hard to live like we do and sometimes that crosses the line. If you get on good terms with them, they might try to help you out. But you can’t resist.” Kent crossed his arms but then realised this disabled him from being able to talk. He uncrossed and pressed the button. “You’re sayin’ all that like you believe me.” Nathan nodded. “…I might as well.” Kent lifted his chin. “Apologise then.” Nathan frowned and tilted his head. “Don’t give me that,” Kent said. “Apologise.” Nathan sighed and looked down. “I’m sorry…Kent… That I didn’t believe you and got you caught.” “And cut my mug up!” Kent said pointing to the stitches across his face. “And for cutting up your face.” Kent huffed and leaned against the table, pressing the button. “Have you figured out what happens to ya when you transform? You get lady parts down there.” Nathan winced. “Yeah, not new.” “What that means is you were bit by the alpha female,” Kent said. “Alpha female werewolves breed only more females, doesn’t matter if the human has a cock. That’s why they try not to go after men. They don’t want mixed sex werewolves like you around.” Nathan took it in and then furrowed his brow. “…So they’re trying to kill me because I’m a man?” “‘Xactly.” “That’s… That’s crazy,” Nathan said. “It’s not my fault I transformed. It’s theirs!” “Yeah, and they’re trying to clean up their mess,” Kent said. “Took me til the other night to figure it out. I used to just pick you up and drop you back chez you before sun up, so I didn’t know you were a man. Couldn’t figure out why they were after ya until you brought those agents out with ya and I had to keep you at my place ‘til the sun.” “So you… You're the reason I'd wake up in my backyard?” Nathan asked. “Yeah.” “How do you know where I live?” “Scent.” “And you never thought to wait and see who I turned back into?” “I'm a wanted man,” Kent said. “I don't stick around for shit.” “You stuck around Canada a long time though,” Nathan commented. “Canada's big. Almost as big as the States,” Kent stated. “It is bigger than the States,” Nathan said. Kent frowned. “Can't be.” “It is. Look at a map.” “What are you, a teacher?” “Yeah, actually. I am.” Kent groaned. “I fuckin' hate teachers.” Nathan frowned, personally offended. “Why?” “Know-it-alls who think they're making a difference but are just a tool in the education system set on sucking the life and love of learning out of helpless children.” Nathan fumed. “Hey, I… Fuck you!” “Really? That’s your best come back?” Kent snorted. “You need to get off your high horse. You and I are animals, not people. Not to these guys. Not to anyone. They just want to look at us and use us and exploit us. You think they're helping you, but they used you as bait to find me and others like us.” Nathan sighed and glared at Kent. “You act like you're smart but you took the bait. Why?” Kent huffed. “I don't know why. I pitied you, maybe. Thought I could do something good. Clearly I wasted my time.” Nathan grit his teeth. “Pity yourself.” Kent rolled his eyes. “Is that all?” “Maybe…” Nathan thought for a minute. “No, when… When the APID agents were searching for me, they said their technology blacked out. Was that you?” “Oh…” Kent rubbed his chin, scratching at his stubble. “You like that, huh? Nice little alien tech toy I found.” “It's alien?” Nathan repeated. “What does it do?” “Exactly what you said,” Kent said. “I call it ‘the blackout’. No technology within a quarter mile radius can work properly. Stops them from tracking me.” Nathan looked away in thought. “You had a radio though.” “Bingo.” Nathan raised his eyebrows and looked at Kent. “The radio's the blackout machine?” “Did you even actually look at my radio or did you just hear it?” Kent asked. “It can receive radio waves while also knocking out other tech." “That doesn’t sound like it should work that way…” Nathan said. Kent shrugged. “Well it does. It’s alien. They know more than we do about how things work, I figure.” Nathan did his best to take a mental note of everything he’d said so far. “Okay… I think that’s it.” He got up but then thought for a moment and pressed the mic button again. “Thank you. And I’m sorry…I got you put in here, I guess.” He turned and started to leave. “Hey,” Kent said assertively. “Turn around. I’m not done.” Nathan huffed and turned back around, crossing his arms. “You know, you’re really rude,” Kent said. “You come in here, angry at me for givin’ you my middle name, but you never even told me your name.” Nathan blinked, and then blushed in embarrassment, realising he really hadn’t even thought about that. He leaned down to push the button again. “It’s Nathan. Nathan Cassidy. Sorry… I thought…” “Nate, huh?” Kent grinned. “That’s pretty boring.” “I don’t go by Nate. It’s Nathan.” “Whatever you say, Nate. Bye now.” Nathan pursed his lips and huffed before grabbing his crutch. “You’re really… You know what, I don’t even care. Bye.” “You’ll be back.” “Whatever. Dawson.” Nathan left and let the door slam shut behind him.

APID prison uniforms are green because aliens~

Vi: Well, I never... That’s a huge generalisation. Only approximately 14% of known extraterrestrial species and races are green. Lino: Yeah, that’s racist. And...speciesist. 

Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #16

Chapter 16: Surge WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Another day, another start to a hopefully non-resetting timeline. At least, that's what Sans mumbled to himself as he woke up uncharacteristically early in the middle of the night. No nightmare this time, just randomly woke up and now finding it annoyingly difficult to zonk out again. He tossed and turned, moving all over the mattress to find that sweet sleeping spot, but nothing was working. Damn random insomnia. Can't a guy get a decent night's rest? Maybe he could kill time till passed out from boredom. He could try the books again, but at the risk of learning things that would make him want to drink bleach, he gave that idea a hard pass. What time even is it? Looking at his phone showed it was too late to go out but too early to start getting ready for work. Argh...Well...There is always the backup idea. It had been so long since he last tried it. What if he made too much noise? Papyrus almost barged in because he thought Sans was hurt or under a surprise attack. Fuck it. It's his room. He can have some "personal alone" time if he wants. Using a bit of magic to lock the door and seal it with a couple bones should allow for some decent privacy. Now to make himself cozy...Won't be needing his clothes for this bit fun. Besides, they'd only get dirty if they stay on and the last thing he wants is Papyrus asking what the weird stains are from. So after stripping down to bare bones and covering up in his messed up bed sheet, Sans stared up that the nothingness of his darkened room's ceiling only to realize something. "what do i even fantasize about?" It had been so long and nothing really got his soul glowing like that in forever. Hard to really find the time to get turned on when a human kid runs around cutting off heads and shit. But he's a normal monster man, he can get creative if he really tried, he's just need something to start at. Think...What makes him feel good? Jokes are a thing. Who can he think about that tells him jokes and likes his? Toriel is an option. Not like it's not too weird. Sure, she's married and royalty, but she gave that stuff so it's not like he's jerking off to a hardcore committed woman. Though he does have one issue...He's never actually seen Toriel. At his best guess, she looks like a female Asgore. The idea made him shudder. But again, it's just a starting point till something better forms in his skull. So with that in mind, he shut his eyes and let his hands begin to roam over his bones. "mmmm...damn it's been so long i forgot how good this could feel...mmmm...maybe...maybe now is good enough..." So, with the power of imagination and removing the maleness from his picture of the King, this version of Toriel pops into his head. She slowly approaches him on the bed, one hand softly rests on his ribcage as the other holds his jaw and rubs small circles with her thumb. "*coos* oh yeah...mmmmmm...this will work just fine..." She leans down and whispers to him. Why did the skeleton play with himself? His cheekbones began to color. "oooh...tell me why...please...?" Because he had no body. A soft moan turned into a small chuckle. "come on...you can do better than that. give me something raunchy." Have you ever known me for telling, as you put it, raunchy puns? "uh...not really." Then how am I to do so? "um...because i want it. aren't ya supposed to just do what i want because i'm making you up?" Fine, be that way. Force me to just be your little fantasy. You are no different from that fool, Asgore. "whoa, where the fuck is that coming from?" You tell me. After all, am I not your dream fantasy? "hell no." Then what is it that you do want, Sans? "for starters, you can go away." With a huff, the mental image of Toriel blows away. "sheesh...crazy bitch. what i want is someone that can make me laugh and isn't shy about how they do it. someone that knows a thing or two about how to treat a guy right. someone..." Need some help, Sansy-boy? That made his sockets widen and his spine shiver. "nope! nope! not happening. not going to think about her. nope. big fucking nope." Wow, not even gonna give me a chance? You gave Nanny a shot and she's married, to the King no less. He covers his earholes with his hands. "la la la, i can't hear you, la la la, i'm not listening, la la la..." Sans... Maybe it was just his imagination acting out, maybe it was just the way the sheets settled after he moved, but for whatever the reason, he felt something touch his leg and he swore the human was there. At least let me try. It's the least I can do after you helped me. Eerily he could honestly picture that being something she'd say. "no funny stuff?" Depends. What is your scope of 'funny stuff'? "just don't wig out on me like the first attempt did." Dude, it's me. You know me. When I wanna help, I do it. "i guess you're not wrong there." Plus I'm in your head, so whatever you want goes. That made him sit up. "wait...then why did she go all nuts if you're the same thing?" Simple, because she is like that. Remember when Paps told her he hurt me? She was gonna bring hellfire to us all had we not calmed her down. It's not her fault really. She's been in the Ruins for so long all by herself. She's just lonely and the lack of people make her social skills kind of suck. You can forgive her, can't you? His imagination had her kneeling beside him and again he could feel her hand timidly on him. As much as he hated it, so far, she wasn't not doing it for him. Maybe he could use this and switch her out later. "*sigh* fine." He plots back down on the pillow and points into the darkness. "but the second you fuck this up, real you is going to pay for it." She snickers and moves a bit closer. I figured as much. So...What would you like me to do first? He gave it some thought as his sockets closed again. "touch me." Where? "anywhere. i don't fucking care." Chill, man. I've never done this before. I don't want to piss you off or hurt you. "ugh...just...feel around. i'll let ya know how you're doing." At least this one was pretty damn accurate with how she was in real life. Once more he let his hands skim along his bones and after a bit, it didn't really feel like it was him doing it. "mmmm...okay, doing good..." Mind if I try something? She moves and now he pictures her kneeling behind him with his skull resting on her lap. How's that? Cozy? "not bad. mmmm...tell me a joke..." A naughty one? "heh...yeah. give me a really good one." Very well...What's the hardest bone a skeleton has? "mmmm...i dunno, what?" I'll tell you after we bone~. He both moaned and cringed at the joke. You're uncomfortable, aren't you? "just...not really wanting to do this with you. no offense." None taken. Can't say I blame you. I mean, I did try to kill you. "come on, that wasn't you. that damn black soul was the one that wanted me dead. at most, you want to hug me. and...sometimes...it's okay to do so." Really? "don't get hung up on it." Yes, sorry. Heh...Thank you though. But...um...I think I know how to fix it so it's less weird. "how?" You remember the image you saw in that anatomy book, right? Of the human skeleton? A heavy shudder leaves him and slowly the human starts phasing out from exactly looking human to more of an eye-pleasing sight. At least to him anyway. Gone was her skin, hair, and anything fleshy. Leaving just her form in bone. Is this better for you, Sans? It still had her voice, but that wasn't the part he was currently mentally staring at like a horny teenager. "oooooh...so much better. mmmm...tell me another joke..." What instrument do skeletons play during sex? "*moan* shit...mmmm...tell me...tell me it slow..." A tromboner. That time it was getting to him. The fantasy playing out of her as a skeleton, telling him dirty puns and feeling on his bones was starting to make his magic flair in power. And the longer he delved deeper into this enjoyable scene, the more his soul began to emerge from his chest. For non-typical anatomical monsters like Sans, the soul is more than just the core of their life, it also is a handy reproductive tool. Monsters like him, that don't really have natural reproductive organs, still need to procreate to keep their line going. So that's where the soul comes in. When such a monster seeks to make a child their soul will link with that of their partner and the mingling will act as normal coitus would. One partner acts as the giver of the genetics while the other is the receiver and will be the one to conceive the offspring. That's not to say, much like normal genitalia, the soul can't be played with for one's own benefit. Even the more normal monsters will use their soul in a similar manner. However, in this world, finding someone you can trust in intimacy with your quite literal life is not an easy thing to do. Coupling is rare, family units even rarer, and children the rarest of all. So a little self-indulgence isn't all that unheard of in the Underground. Doing this involves, well, rubbing the soul rather intimately. Sans...You really are one hunk of bone. Dare I say...You're a bony builder that can lift a skele-ton. "*groan* don't get all corny on me now...mmmmmm...i'm getting so close..." Sorry. Just thought I'd be a little sweet on you is all. But if you really want me to keep going... "ffffuck...*moan* keep going...please, keep going..." Heh, I didn't take you for the begging type. "*groan* don't tease me, kitten..." Oh, this is purrfect. Just pawsome. Your moans are meowsic to my ears. The things I plan to do to you...Sans...You'll whisker that I never stop~. "aaaah...yes...yes...mmmm~. touch my soul...oooooooh...fuck, please..." Those ghostly hands of hers were driving him mad. One danced its fingers along the length of his spine while the other tickled his ribs and would teasingly touch his soul ever so softly. If only this was real. If she was really here and treating him like this he'd have himself a great fucking time. In fact...He quickly turns over and moves the pillow to be under him, in his fantasy however it's her skeleton. Sans? "no more teasing, kitten. it's time to make you purr." In a motion akin to normal pelvic thrusting in traditional sex only reversed, Sans embraces the pillow tightly so that it presses against his soul and he rocks his chest in a steady yet heated rhythm. The pillow being a soft and slightly warm presence is a very convincing substitute for his mind to let his needs enjoy as he grinds into it. And as such, the fantasy goes with it. Oooh...Sans~. "yeah...*grunt* say my name, kitten...moan for me..." Aaah...Sans...Oh, Sans~. "good girl...*moan* gonna...gonna give it to ya good for that..." Is that a promise~? "you're damn right it is...*hard grunt* fuuuuck...this feels so gooooood..." The more she responded, the closer he came. It wasn't till after some pretty sultry dirty talk and several minutes of rapid thrusting did his soul begin to surge with the sense of release coming soon. Physically, the soul will also alert its owner of such pleasure by brightly glowing and secreting concentrated magic that has the consistency of slime. This soul goo acts as a lubricant and sensation enhancer. The stronger the feeling during such intimacy, the more goo is made, hence why things can get rather messy. "oohh fuck...ooh ooh...sooo close...i-i'm...hhnng...hnnhanh...ahh...ah hhnnn...i-i'm gonna..." Aahnn...ahhhnn...Sans...oooooh...Fuck...yes...yes...Sans~! "uauhn ahhh...it's happening...hahn aaahhnn...i'm...ahhhh...!" With not much else of a warning, his soul throbs out its climax in a release that he's certain will stain completely through his pillow, but so worth it to have that surge of euphoria throughout his body. "ooohh...ooohhhh y-yeeaahhh...ahhhhnn...mmmmmm...i so needed that. *coos* you were amazing~." No voice replied back, the fantasy was over, and in that split second of realizing it, Sans felt sick. "holy shit...i just did that to her...*gag*" With his magic drained, things he did with it before faded away like the bones at his door, and he felt tired. But now wasn't the time. Donning his shorts, he made a quick rush the bathroom to hurl. As pleasing as it all was, the fact still remained he just masturbated his soul to a fantasy of the human. He felt disgusted, dirty, and gross overall. Hopefully, a long hot shower could wash this feeling off and drown out those nasty thoughts from his skull. He stood in the streams for a long time, watching as his magical essence slid down his form and swirled into the drain. "ugh...how did this happen? when did i become such a sick fuck? she's human for fuck's sake! pretending she's a skeleton doesn't stop her from being human! *heavy sigh* life...why do ya hate me?" The water is turned off moments later and, after drying off, he returns to his room now clean but still feeling like scum. The wet and dingy pillow is cast to the floor where he feels himself to belong, yet, fuck the floor if you have a bed. At least he was tired now. Maybe some sleep will do him some good. At least get thoughts of her out of his head. Besides...It's not like he or she has any feelings for each other. After that thing with Grillby, and that kiss, it's kind of obvious how those two are. Wait... "*weak* Sorry about that...I know you trusted me with your first kiss...but I don't think I can take care of it anymore..." Was that the thing that happened in the bar the other day? What the hell?! No one told him shit! Then that moment when he came to the bar and Grillby was acting funny... "Sans...Can you watch the bar for a moment?" The pieces began clicking together and the internal screaming started loudly. Grillby has the hots for the human! [Hours pass] Papyrus woke up to a rather odd morning. He could smell something cooking but he wasn't the one doing it. It couldn't have been the human, after her initial break-in, he secured the window and bolted the door. So this smell was cause for slight alarm. Only slightly because the maker was about to pay for breaking into his home. But what to use? The bone club? The bone saber? The bone and arrow? So many choices. Maybe the bone mace? It hasn't seen action in ages and it would be a shame to not let this poor soul known what true pain was like. Leaving his room with the weapon in hand like a ninja, Papyrus silently crept downstairs and noted the intruder was dumb enough to turn on the lights. This joke of an invader was as good as dead, given that the top of their shadow could be seen and gave away his exact location. Closer now...Just a bit closer and it will only take one blow to end this. *clang* "fuck! god, damn butter fingers..." The seer levels of confusing shock almost made Papyrus drop the weapon. Sans in the kitchen is nothing new. But cooking? Hell must have frozen over. He walked into the entryway. "SANS?" His voice spooked his brother who, apart from being just in his shorts, juggles to hold onto the pan he just collected from the ground. "papyrus! h-hey...i didn't wake ya, did i?" Not the smartest thing to do, waking a sleeping Papyrus. But now wasn't the case. "NO. I AWOKE BECAUSE OF THIS SICKENINGLY SWEET SMELL INVADED MY ROOM." "oh...uh...what's with the mace?" He glances at it a moment before putting it down. "I THOUGHT SOMEONE BROKE IN AND WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO STEAL OUR FOOD." "huh...sounds reasonable." Sans put the pan on the stove and Papyrus looks around. There are plastic bags on the floor and items he knows they didn't have earlier. "I SEE YOU DID SOME LATE NIGHT PILFERING OF YOUR OWN. WILL I BE GETTING AN ANNOYING CALL FROM THE RABBITS LATER?" "i put some gold on the counter. she can't bitch about it if most is paid for." "MOST?" "i'm not paying 300G for eggs! that's bullshit!" Papyrus merely nodded. "AGREED. WELL DONE, BROTHER." Sans starts stirring something in a large bowel and it made Papyrus curious. "DARE I ASK WHAT IT IS YOU ARE DOING AT THIS HOUR? ASIDE FROM SHOPLIFTING." "what does it look like? i'm making pancakes." "...WHY?" Sans huffs a few times through his nasal hole, clearly pissed off but trying to stay calm. "because...i woke up super early and can't sleep. i get hungry when i don't get enough sleep." That is true. "WHY NOT HAVE THE HUMAN MAKE YOU SOMETHING? IT'S ONE OF THE FEW THINGS SHE'S ACTUALLY DECENT AT." Sans's stirring gets a bit harsher and sloppy. "i don't need her help. i'm fine. i can do this." A not entirely false statement. Sans wasn't incompetent when it came to cooking, so long as he was hungry enough his laziness wouldn't have him half-ass things. But his laziness was king, so him passing on a chance to have someone else do the work for him was a sign that something wasn't right. "ARE YOU FEELING ALRIGHT?" "i'm fine." "YOUR BEHAVIOR SAYS OTHERWISE." "i said i'm fine!" "OKAY, FIRST OFF...DON'T YOU FUCKING YELL AT ME!" This is the part where Sans would shirk and apologize. But that's not the case. He stands his ground and glares back at his commanding younger brother. "AND SECOND, IF SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU, JUST SAY SO. DON'T TRY TO ACT LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG WHEN CLEARLY SOMETHING IS." "i'm fucking fine. just leave me alone." Papyrus growls with a stern face. "FINE. BE THAT WAY. IT'S NO SKIN OFF MY BONES." Checking the clock, Papyrus collected his weapon and headed for the front door. "where are you going?" Papyrus said nothing. "paps!" The door slamming was the reply he gave. If Sans wants to be a dick, then he can be a dick. He'll just give him the silent treatment. But now that he was fully awake, he might as well get the day started before work time. And that includes fetching the human so that she will make him something to eat. No way he was eating anything a grumpy Sans was bothering with. So he enters the shed and turns on the light, but it bursts almost instantly. Must remember to fix that later. Passing through the bars, he uses his eyes natural glow to find her body curled into a ball on the pet bed. He pokes her with the mace. "WAKE UP, HUMAN. YOU ARE REQUIRED TO MAKE SUITABLE SUBSTANCE FOR ME." She didn't move or make a sound. This didn't please him. "I SAID...WAKE UP!" He yelled, shaking the snow off the roof of the shed. But she remained still as stone. This only ticked him off further than he already was and he kicked side her. Yet again, after several hard kicks, she didn't move. Not even Sans could sleep this deeply. Kneeling down, he put a hand on her neck. He didn't know much about humans but he knows that they breathe. He checked for the feeling of her doing this. He couldn't feel it. That's not right. So he uncurls her body with a bit of difficulty as she was rather stiff in the cold. Strange marks, almost like hand prints, appeared on her wrists and forearms. He was close to checking for more but made still at the thumping soft colorful glow emanating just under her shirt. "HUMAN?" She wasn't dead, at least not yet. Her soul would be fully out if that were the case. As much as it would be benefiting to let her parish, this was not the allowed way he would take her soul. Time to do his one random good deed for the year. He scoops her body up over his shoulder and carries the girl back to the house, perhaps the warmth will do her some good. Once inside, he plops her body down on the couch and checks her breathing again. "pap...can you let me apologize without leaving again?" Papyrus didn't speak as he then entered the kitchen to find something. This now had Sans's attention. "bro?" "DID YOU HAPPEN TO GRAB ANY ELIXIR WHILE YOU WERE OUT?" "uh...no? why?" "SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT WITH THE HUMAN. SHE'S NOT BREATHING." "...what?" Sans stopped his pancake making to see for himself. Papyrus finds an old medical kit in a cabinet. "what did you do?" Mixing a few random things in a small medical kit will have to do for now. "I FOUND HER LIKE THAT." He returns to the living room while shaking a vial of colored liquid to see Sans staring intently at the glow of her soul. Scoffing to make Sans move away, he props the human's head up and opens her mouth, pouring the vial's contents down her throat. Some slight rubbing on the sides of her neck induced swallowing and he let her be when done. "H-Hey...?" Great. Now the flower is awake. "What's going on?" Not wanting to double down on being generously nice, he ignores the flower and returns to the kitchen. Seems he'll have to cook for himself after all. But first, to clean up the shitty mess Sans made. Sans on his end wasn't sure what to make of things. Especially after his 'personal time' moment. Part of him was concerned for obvious reasons. While another part of him was trying to stab that worried side to death and hang it off a cliff. "Sans...?" He flinched at his name being said that softly. "Is she okay?" It's just the flower. Calm down. No one knows about what you did. "dunno..." Hesitantly, he put a hand on her forehead. She's bone cold. "damn. she's like ice." "Oh no, not again..." Sans looked at the flower funny. "again? this happened before?" Flowey nods. "This sometimes happens when she has the 'really bad' dreams." Judging by the talk he had with her that can mean anything. "care to be a bit more specific?" Flowey shakes his head. "She doesn't tell me about them She only tells me that the dreams weren't good ones." "*sigh* typical." She tells her brother nothing about it. God, she acted like him. Woman get out of his head! Ignoring the crap in his skull, he gives her a little looking over and that's when he sees them. The marks. Those same marks she showed him before. She was with Gaster now. This got him curious about her soul, knowing how Gaster was with his fascination with the damn things. "Hey, leave her alone." Putting out everything else from his mind except her soul, Sans pulls down her shirt's collar to get a better look. "W-What are you doing, Smiley Trashbag?! Stop being a pervert!" He couldn't hear Flowey at this point. The soul had his attention. Part of it just breached the surface of her chest and the colors...there were so many and the way they swirled...mesmerizing. But that spell couldn't take full effect, not with that show of black among the bright colors and those large hand marks surrounding it like a cage. "*mutters* the hell are ya doing, g?" "SANS! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" That he heard. "keep an eye on her, weed." It was an order. One that didn't have to be said twice as he went to his brother in the kitchen. "yeah?" "*SIGH* I'M ONLY GOING TO ASK THIS ONE MORE TIME...WHAT WAS WRONG WITH YOU EARLIER?" Maybe if he words this right it won't be so awkward. "okay...let's say i have this friend, right?" "THAT NARROWS IT DOWN A LOT." "dick." "JUST TELL ME ALREADY." "again...i have this friend. and this friend, who shall remain nameless, i think has gotten himself into something i think is wrong." Now Papyrus was interested. "SUCH AS?" Sans rubs the back of his skull nervously. "i...i think he has feelings for someone. someone that no one would approve of." "AND WHY DO YOU THINK THAT? IS THIS PERSON A COMPLETE SACK OF SHIT AND NOT WORTHY OF THIS 'FRIEND'?" Now the hard part of wording this. "no...it's, uh...quite the opposite actually. they get along really well." "THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?" "um...ya know how cats and dogs don't get along? like, they're natural enemies and junk." "YEAH?" "well...this friend and the person they like are technically enemies. but they seem to like each other anyway even though i'm certain all the underground would preform mob justice on them if they came out as a thing." "REALLY? THAT BAD?" "oh yeah." "AND THIS BUGS YOU WHY?" "because!" Sans rubs his face to calm down. "*huff* because...i don't want my friend to get hurt." Papyrus cocks his brow. "BUT THIS ISSUE DOESN'T REALLY EFFECTS YOU TECHNICALLY. JUST, FOR SOME REASON, EMOTIONALLY IS CAUSING YOU DISTRESS." "uh...i guess?" "THEN THE ANSWER IS CLEAR." "r-really?" "YES. YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS. YOU CAN EITHER IGNORE THIS ISSUE AND ALLOW YOUR 'FRIEND' TO PURSUE THEIR 'OTHER PERSON'..." "yeah...not gonna let that happen." "OR...YOU DO WHAT YOU MUST TO BREAK THEM UP SO THAT ALL HOPE OF THEM GETTING TOGETHER CRASHES AND BURNS MORE POWERFULLY THAN A TSUNDERPLANE THAT LOST ITS SENPAI." That's really bad. "that would make me a humongous asshole if i did that." "THEN FOREVER SUFFER IN INDECISIVE SILENCE." "...that's not helpful at all." "SO SAYS YOU." Papyrus returns to his cooking and Sans groans with irritating annoyance. "*gasps and coughing*" The sudden sound had them peeking out into the living room where the human was found on the floor now and convulsing violently as the flower pathetically tries to restrain her movements with vines. Papyrus is the one that puts an end to this display with a bit of the old blue magic and holds her in the air by her soul till her flailing ceases. "CALM YOURSELF, HUMAN." The look on her face was one most recognize. Pain. It was etched into her eyes. As if something awful happened during the night. Her hands kept flexing in these claw type motions that had a stiff recoil. It's sort of like she was thawing out from being frozen. Odder still was her constant stare forward. "*shaky* I...I'm okay..." "ya sure?" She nods and Papyrus turns his magic off, letting her drop to her feet. Now under her own control, she crosses her arms over her chest like the folded wings of a gargoyle and shivers harshly. "*shaky* Can I trouble you for something warm please?" Her eyes kept forward, not looking at the brothers as she made the request. Papyrus, whether or not he was going to do this, returns to his cooking. Sans, on the other hand, approached her with caution. "kiddo?" "*shaky* H-Howdy..." "do ya need a moment?" She nods and he tries not to imagine if anything in his fantasy would've also given her such a reaction. "*shaky* Sans..." He both wished she would look at him and yet keep not doing so at the same time. "yeah?" Her eyes made a slight glance his way but looked at the floor. "*shaky* I...I need to talk to you later." Maybe this could work in his advantage. Talking with Grillby about this would be super awkward. "sure. i kinda got to talk to you later too." She shivers a bit more. "*shaky* Fuck...I hate the cold..." "probably be a smart move to take a hot bath. pap isn't likely to..." Papyrus walks past his brother with a steaming mug that he shoves at her. "DRINK." She looks at the mug in surprise. "DO NOT BE THIS SLOW, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD." She takes the mug with a hiss, burning her hands till she can get a proper hold. "*shaky* Thank you...um...What is it?" "WATER. NOW DRINK." "you boiled water?" "OF COURSE NOT. THAT WOULD BE TOO SLOW. I USED THE MICROWAVE." Sans shakes his head as the human moves to the couch, sits down, blows into the mug, and drinks. "*soft sigh* Much better...And here I thought you wanted me dead." Papyrus sneers. "DO NOT TAKE THIS AS A SHOW OF GOOD FAITH. I AM MERELY MAKING SURE MY PET DOESN'T MEET A STUPID END. I'D BE A POOR MASTER IF I LET SOMETHING AS STUPID AS THE COLD KILL YOU." This is the part where she'd retort with something witty, mocking, condescending, or just a biting comment. But no. All she does is smile and continue drinking. That earned her a few odd looks. "What? Is something wrong?" "ARE YOU NOT GOING TO FIGHT BACK?" "To what?" "I'M DEMEANING YOU, PET." She shrugs. "Eh, go ahead. If it makes you happy, then I'm okay with it." The odd looks only get stronger and Papyrus pulls Sans into the kitchen with him. "SANS, SOMETHING IS INCREDIBLY WRONG HERE. THAT IS NOT THE SAME HUMAN." "i don't know. looks like it's her." "CUT THE CRAP, SANS. CLEARLY, SHE'S DEPLOYING SOME SORT OF TACTIC. TRYING TO LULL US INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY BY BEING AGREEABLE AND PLEASANT." "for what reason would she have to do that for? if she was really that wicked, don't ya think she'd have tried to kill us ages ago?" "IT'S CALLED PICKING YOUR BATTLES. SHE'S JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO STRIKE." "so sparing the dogs and not raising her LV is all part of the sinister plan?" "CLEARLY. JUST LOOK AT HER..." Papyrus sneaks a look into the living room. The human smiles in peace, finishing the water and going over to the flower to show it affection. "GENIUS...I'VE UNDERESTIMATED THE CUNNING OF THIS GIRL." Sans rolls his eyes. "or, and this might sound crazy...she might actually be an okay person." "THAT'S JUST WHAT SHE WANTS YOU TO THINK. CLEVER BITCH. MUST BE A TRAIT ALL FEMALES HAVE. MONSTER AND HUMAN." "speaking of monster bitches, we need to start getting ready for work. unless ya actually like hearing undyne screech for four hours." Papyrus glared at the thought. "DAMN WOMEN. WHY MUST SOMEONE AS GREAT AS MYSELF BE BOTHERED BY SUCH LOWLY SOULS?" Sans shrugged and teleported to his room, leaving Papyrus to walk upstairs to his chambers but first... "HUMAN..." "Yes, Papyrus?" "GO TO THE KITCHEN AND FINISH COOKING WHAT I STARTED." She salutes and does as told, making him glare. He doesn't buy this act for a second. No one pulls the wool over the eyes of the great and terrible Papyrus! [About half an hour later at Grillby's] "Grillby!" I'm willing to admit my lack of subtlety in being happy to see the fire bartender is childish as hell as long as no one judges me on my super non-normal greeting of pulling the guy over the bar and hugging his chest like I've not seen him in years. Not that he complains. He's a bit more confused if anything. "Heh...Nice to see you too, pussycat." Grillby pats my head as Papyrus snarls and I shyly release the poor guy to return to standing by Sans. "Gentlemen." "sup, grillz." "GRILLBY." Grillby smirks and fixes his glasses. "So, Papyrus...Did you think about my offer?" Papyrus folds his arms. "I MAY HAVE GIVEN IT THE FAINTEST OF THOUGHT." "And?" Papyrus looks at me and I try to be my regular self, but I'm too fucking happy because Grillby's alive! "I WILL AGREE TO THIS RIDICULOUS IDEA ONLY AFTER A WEEK'S TRAIL. IF SHE FAILS TO PREFORM TO MY LIKING, THEN NO DEAL." Grillby cocks his head. "Oh? And how would you judge this?" "SANS WILL REPORT ON HER." "what?!" Sans is not thrilled about doing more work. "Sounds fair to me. He is here often enough to see her progress." "don't i get a say in this?" "NO." "this is bullcrap!" I give a small tug on Sans's sleeve to get his snarling attention. "what?" I lean close to his skull and for a second I thought he trembled. "*whisper* No worries, dude. I got you." "the hell does that mean?" "*whisper* Half of whatever I make goes to paying off your tab." I pull back to see the shocked look come to his face. "for real? you'd really do that?" "It's what good buddies do. You help me and I help you. Sound good?" I offer my hand for him to shake and he gives me this look of uncomfortable uncertainty. "You okay there?" He eyes me before looking away and ignores my gesture. "whatever." Maybe he's just in a bad mood or staying in character of being a dick to me. I know I hide how I feel a lot. But I'm disappointed that this buddy thing we have is always a push and shove deal. "WHEN WILL THIS TRAIL PERIOD START? I HATE HAVING MY TIME WASTED." "She can start now if you want. Though the uniform will take a little longer." My ears perk at that. "Uniform?" Grillby smirks. "I'm going to need your measurements, pussycat. Unless, of course, you want me to do that for you~." I get flustered at his tease. "she'll get them for ya later. don't be weird about it." Grillby and I both look at Sans's defensiveness oddly, but you know, say nothing about it. "COME, SANS. AND YOU..." Papyrus eyes me. "I'M ON TO YOU." I tilt my head in confusion as the brothers leave. "They seemed to be in a good mood." Grillby comments and I shrug. "I have no clue what any of that was about." "So...about those measurements...?" I sigh. "What did I say about being creepy?" He puts his hands up in a playfully defensive way. "I know, and I'm trying to be 'that guy'. I'm asking as your boss, not your friend. You can size yourself in the back if needed." I wave dismissively at the suggestion. "Whatever it is, I wear large to extra large. I'm not big, but I like the free space. Makes me feel comfy." "How cute..." "What?" "Well, for one, you don't know how to fit yourself. And two, you think I'm giving you a choice." I'm suddenly getting flashbacks to when I first met Grillby. The man has charm, no doubt there, but he is intimating and forceful if needed. "Now, be a good girl and go through that door. I'll be with you shortly." "Yes, sir." Wow...That felt weird to say after being all chummy with the guy. I walk around the bar, past the poker table, and make it to the only door that won't have me going out into the snow. Above it is a small sign that reads "FIRE EXIT". I feel that's a joke. "Go on. It's not locked." I look back at Grillby and there's this almost impatient gleam in his glasses. It makes me shiver as I enter this door. Though the feeling chilling down my spine both stays and goes once I'm on the other side...It's his house. I'm in his house. The door behind me is the only exit and I'm in his fucking house! "Shhhit..." Quick! Brain! Think of something! What do I do to not piss off the man who's got me in his house?! But I got nothing. Zip. Zero. Zilch. My head draws a blank. All I really do is just move a little bit further inside so that he doesn't collide with me when he enters. From this small entryway, I can see his home is the reverse of the skeleton home. His upstairs living space isn't that large, the living room with its comfy looking sofa and kitchen are nearly joined, separated by an island counter with bar stools in front of it. A stairwell leading down must be where his more private rooms are. Make sense in a way, even if snow is covering the ground, under the ground can have temperatures that are far more enjoyable. I bet it's really warm down there. Kind of is warm right now. Really warm. The hell is...? "Boo!" I yelp, flying a good five feet onto the floor and gripping my chest in panic. All the while Grillby smugly grins at me. "My, aren't you jumpy. You act as though you expect something bad to happen." I blink a few times and hold my breath to calm my heart down. He approaches and offers his hand. "No hard feelings, right pussycat?" My hand trembles to take his. "No cool, Grillby. Very not cool." He pouts and pulls me up onto my feet. "Are you frightened of me?" I shake my head a bit too quickly. "It's not nice to lie." I play with my hands a little. "I don't mean to be." He sighs and puts a hand on my head. "I don't mean to scare you. I just take my work very seriously. You are now part of that and therefore..." "I understand...sir." "Don't call me that." His tone is calm yet has this harsh crackle that makes me flinch. He notices and lets that hand slide down to rest around my shoulders. "Lynsie? Are you alright?" "I don't know anymore." He rubs my shoulder and I try to think straight. "Do you want to talk?" "Maybe." "Okay...Go into the living. I'll come back with what I need and you can tell me what's troubling you while we do this. How does that sound?" I sniffle a little. "Sounds fine." He taps my shoulder and I walk away into the living room as he himself goes downstairs. When I know he can't see me I wipe my eyes. Something is wrong. I can feel all these nerves going off inside and my emotions are fluctuating. What's wrong with me? Is this what PMS is? Oh shit, when was my last period? What the hell is happening to me?! This is your fault, stupid soul. If it's not the black one trying to kill people than it's the pink one making me all hormonal and shit. I can hear his steps coming up the stairs and I try to settle down before he sees the mental train wreck showing on my face. When he's back on my level, he has a notepad with a pen in one hand and the measuring tape of a tailor in the other. "Are you ready?" It's okay. He's being professional. Just calm down. Calm the fuck down! "Y-Yeah." "Nervous?" I crack a weak smile. "Just a little." "I promise, I won't cross any lines." Am I capable of making a joke with a straight face right now? Here's hoping so. "So no fondling the side-boob this time?" He blushes for a moment, snickering lightly before smirking. "Not unless you want me to." Okay, this is at least normal. It's what we do. We make flirty jokes. Everything is fine. I am fine. "In your dreams, hot stuff." "At least you seem better. Now stand straight for me, pussycat." I do as requested and he begins to render me into numbers. Starting with the neck, he wraps the tape around my neck and has it resting on my shoulders, putting one finger between the tape to allow for some extra room. "So...Anything you want to talk about, dear?" "Well...I kind of want to say some things and yet...not." "Personal matters?" "Mostly." Next up is the chest, the measurement is taken as a circumference measurement around my chest at the widest point. Something that he enjoys as I blush. "I won't make you talk if you don't want to. But you may feel better if you got some of it off your chest." I groan loudly. "Oh my god, Sans has tainted you." "Heh...I saw an opportunity and I went with it." "By the way...Who's watching the bar while you do this?" "Big Mouth is in exchange for free food for an hour." "The clock is ticking while you do this, right?" "You know it." "Heheh...Clever boy." Now we have the waist, this measurement is taken as a circumference measurement around my waist just above the belly button. "Can I ask what this uniform will look like?" "And spoil the surprise? I think not. Although...I know it will be something no one will be able to take their eyes off of." "That both sounds awesome and foreboding at the same time." "Trust me, it'll have you rolling in gold." "Now it's really ominous." Another part that has me blushing is my seat, aka the ass. The seat measurement is taken as a circumference measurement around my butt at the widest part and I try not to squirm at the feel of his hands. "You okay, pussycat?" "You're doing that on propose." "Doing what?" "One, overusing that pet name that you know bugs me. And two..." I give him a playful wink. "Not asking for permission before you touch me." He bites his tongue and exhales slowly. "Close. You almost had me there. No point for you." "Dang. Thought I had an easy one there." He chuckles to himself. "What's so funny?" "Nothing really. Just thinking that you enjoy teasing me just as much as I do to you." He's not entirely wrong. "I can't lie, you are a fun playmate." "Same to you...Pussycat." The shirt length measurement is taken from the top of the shoulder, close to the mid-side of my neck, following my body down to the point where he wants the top to end. "This...This feels nice." "What does?" "Just talking with you. I always feel so comfortable around you. Well...until I don't." "Like earlier?" "Yeah." "Again, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." "I know. It's just..." I struggle to speak. There's so much I want to say to him. "Take your time, dear. There's no rush on what you want to say." When it comes to shoulder width think of a line going from the armpit straight upwards to the shoulder. He measures between those two points and holds the tape measure straight. "Grillby..." "Yeah?" "Have I...Whenever I was, you know, drunk...Did I...*flustered* Did I ever...kiss you?" He flinches in his writing on the notepad and his flames flash for a moment in his blush. "*nervous* Um...W-W-Why would you think that?" I can still hear his confession in my mind. "*weak* Sorry about that...I know you trusted me with your first kiss...but I don't think I can take care of it anymore..." And his nervousness is also a big ass clue. "I...I heard it from someone in the bar." His face starts to heat up and he looks away. "It...It might have happened...once. B-But nothing else happened, I swear!" Wow...I gave him my first kiss and I don't even remember it. That's...really sad. He's all messed up now and I keep quiet so he can regain his composure. He next measures my arm length, the sleeve length measurement is taken from the point of the shoulder and following my bent arm down to where he wants the sleeve to end. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make this awkward." He doesn't say anything and I feel awful as he continues to work. The wrist measurement is taken as a circumference measurement around the wrist. The biceps measurement is taken as a circumference measurement around the biceps. The last one he does is my hip, doing the hip measurement is taken as a circumference measurement around the hips at the widest part. Though unlike with the other past measurements, he lingers close to me and I'm hesitant to say or do anything about it. "...Are you upset with me?" Okay, remember how to talk. He needs to know everything is fine. "Why would I be upset?" "Because...I didn't have the nerve to tell you myself." In another timeline, my friend, you did just that. "I don't care." He looks at me funny. "You don't?" "No. The part I care about is how far things went. And with it just being a kiss...It proves to me that you're someone I can trust fully. For a lesser soul would've taken advantage of that situation." His eyes soften and he leans his forehead on my own. "You can't be real." "I assure you..." I take his hands in mine, letting him drop the notepad and tape. "I am very real. And...I...I feel bad that I don't remember it." I can feel his heat getting stronger. "You do?" My face gets really red and I find it hard to keep looking him in the eyes. "Unless it was bad, then, I am super sorry about my shitty kissing skills." "N-No! No...I mean...It was nice." "It was?" Now he's the one trying to be sweet. "Well...Yeah. For an unexpected kiss, it wasn't bad. Not too long or too short, with just the right amount of care." Realizing what is coming out of his mouth has his face blushing big time. But now I'm curious. "Really? What did it feel like?" The words leave me before my brain can filter them. His eyes widen as his flames burn brighter. Though his normal cool self comes through with that playful smirk of his. "R-Really? I mean...If you're really curious about it, I wouldn't say no to doing a quick demonstration." If that dead timeline taught me anything, it's that he isn't joking and will do it if I say yes. I remember his kiss as he said his peace before death. It was so sad. I want to know how he feels when he isn't on his deathbed and has no tomorrow. So I take a deep breath and let his hands go to put them on his chest. "I'm okay with that." His hair of fire grows larger in excitement. "Are...Are you serious? No joke?" I nod. "I'm being very serious, Grillby." "And you have no issue with me being a monster?" Now I understand dream Grillby's frustration at the constant doubt when the intent is painfully clear. "If you have to ask then I don't want to know anymore." My hands begin to slip off him but they don't get to leave their perch on his chest. His hands clasp me by the shoulders and pull me into his smoldering kiss. The impact was rather abrupt, but the kiss itself is gentle and slightly timid feeling. My wide surprised eyes meet his burning ember orbs and the look they hold has mine slowly close. Most of that dream of him seems to be real. His face is as solid as his body looks and just from the feel of his mouth alone I know it must be very hot in there. He pulls back only a little bit, our faces still close enough that my nose still brushes against his fire. It kind of tickles. "So...How was it, Lynsie?" There is so much I want to say, yet can't find the words. "*coos* Whoa..." That will have to do. I mean, I did have a fire pun at the ready, but it's not really the right moment for it. My reaction has him getting the cutest look on his delighted face. "Glad you liked it." I can't help the smile on my face. "I like you, Grillby..." I give him a quick peck where is nose would be. "The kiss is just a bonus." His face is blank for a moment before he grins. "I think this is the start of an interesting work relationship." "Yeah...About that..." I can't get out of his grip, not that I'm trying, but I back up a bit so we're less likely to smooch again. "There's still a bit more 'personal' stuff I have to tell you about that I really don't want to affect our current situation." He titles his head. "How so?" I rub my cheeks trying to delude the red burning them. "Okay...Promise me that this never leaves this room. And I mean, all of this, is never spoken about." "Pussycat, give me some credit. As if I'd ever share the things you tell me." "I mean it." "Is it that one of them hurt you?" That had me for a moment before his words register in my head. "What?" "You're ignoring them, but that doesn't make them invisible to anyone else." He grabs one of my arms and holds it up, showing the bruises. "Did they do this? Papyrus I can believe, but I have doubts on Sans. But if they did this to you..." "They didn't. This is a whole different issue." "Don't defend your abuser." "I'm not defending shit. It's my problem, I can deal with it. Don't make this a big deal." "It is a big deal!" His grip harshens, burning my skin. "*wince* You're hurting me." He releases my arm with immediate regret. I hold my arm and rub the red mark. "Like I said...That's a different issue that I will deal with. Not you. Are we clear?" "Y-Yes." "The thing I want to tell you...I don't want it to bleed into this thing we got and influence anything. If something happens, fine, but not while this whole 'job' thing is going on." "How bad can it be for you to be so serious?" "Trust me, it's something big that even now I'm having trouble getting ready to say." "You're over thinking it. If you just relax..." "My soul surged because I dreamed of you!" It came blurting out rather fast, but after a moment or two, Grillby's eyes widen as his fire strengthens. "Wha...W-What?" I'm not about to repeat that. I let the flustered blush on my face speak for me. "So that...That thing the other day...?" I look away and nod, not noticing him biting his lower jaw. "And it was because...*deep crackling shudder* You dreamed of me?" That sound has my soul threatening to jump out so my head has me spew out words in distraction. "It just happened so randomly. Maybe what that guy said influenced my thoughts and you've been so good to me...Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. Why am I even telling you this like it won't affect things? Of course, it's going to affect things! I'm a freaking moron to think otherwise. I...I..." I get distracted by a sudden glow coming from Grillby that isn't part of his flames. This soft dull gray is on his chest, almost blending in with his clothing. Grillby sees my eyes staring curiously and when he follows this vision trail his reaction reminds me of when I had the surge the other day. He pulls away from me very sharply, covering his chest with this look of humiliation and fear, turning away from me. "Don't look at it!" I turn away feeling super uncomfortable. "I saw nothing!" I can hear him huffing and puffing, faint smoke plumes on the ceiling like a chimney burning logs. "Um...Do you...Do you want me to leave?" There's this steamy hiss that draws out of him. "*raspy* Give me...Give me a minute..." Don't say anything stupid, don't say anything stupid, don't say anything stupid, don't say anything stupid, don't say anything stupid, don't say anything stupid! "Did...Did I make you surge?" What did I just fucking say, you stupid git?! I regret so much once I asked that. Because suddenly he's breathing in my ear and his fire is intense. "*heated* It wouldn't be the first time...Lynsie..." So much internal screaming! I literally can't move. The only thing that I do, is let out this weak pitiful yelp because my body can not fathom what the fuck it is to do in this situation. I'm fairly certain a scan of my head would show a bunch of little people running around and screaming in panic. But then...he starts chuckling. "*lowly* Got you, pussycat..." It takes a bit for my messed up brain to put the pieces together, but when they do... "Did you...Did you just tease me?" "*huff* My point. So far...I'm winning for today." His breathing is still smoky. He may have teased me but he's still messed up. Let it go. Leave him be. "Heh...I'll try harder next time." I give a tiny glace over my shoulder to see his very heated colored face. The way the dark to light blue really highlights his purple fire. Wow, that's cute. "I'm gonna go make sure we still have a bar to work in. Will you be okay without me to tease for a bit?" He nods. "*puff* Use the time to get familiar with being behind the bar. I'll be there shortly. I...I need to make a phone call." "Will do. See you soon...boss." I snicker to myself as I take leave of his home for the attached bar, all the while feeling his eyes on me. "Hey look! The girl is still in one piece and not a pile of ash. Miracles do happen." Punk Hamster is starting early. Super. "Don't make me cut you off and force you to be sober for more than whatever time it takes for you to pass out at home. Because I'll come over there, little man." He grips his glass possessively. "You don't have the balls, woman." "No, but I do have tits. And I'm willing to bet my pair is larger than your nuts." I glare harshly and he tries to match it but can't. "*scoff* You're not worth it." "That's what I thought." One asshole took down a peg. Not bad for just starting this shift. "Yo, Big Mouth, you're relieved of duty. I got this." The big toothy plant monster turns my way. "What about my food?" "You'll get it. Grillby's coming back. He's just making a phone call." It moves to its usual spot as I go behind the bar. There's so much back here. How the hell am I to remember all this and what to do with it on top of mixing recipes? Damn it, Papyrus, I make one drink and you think I can handle all this? This is not the same as working the register at that pizza chain. There's beer, wine, liquor, cocktails, among other beverages such as mineral water and soft drinks. Some snack foods such as potato chips, mixed nuts, and peanuts. That's just the basic stuff without glossing over the kitchen's main food menu and the little add-ons that go with it all. Fuck my life now. "It looks scarier than it is..." Grillby returns from settling down and joins me. "But once you get a groove going and learn a few cheats, it gets really easy." "Dude, just warning you now, I am going to try my damnedest but there is no way I'm picking this up in a day." "Come now, pussycat, nothing is ever learned so quickly. Just be my shadow and learn from watching me. You can do that much, right?" "Ha ha, I get it. I shall become the sponge and hope to soak up some of your great skills." He pats my head. "Start with something simple to get a feel of things. Cut up those lemons and limes for me." "Alright. How many?" "Do about six of each, cut four into wedges and two into thin slices. I don't use them all that much. Only on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays." "Why those days?" "Those first two are when I do ladies night. And Friday is happy hour." "I've heard of those, but never understood what they were." I get to work as Grillby started to look stern again. And grumpy Grillby is not one I want to mess with. "Well...Ladies' night is a promotional event where female patrons pay less than male patrons for the cover charge or drinks. Happy hour is a marketing term for a period of time in which a venue offers discounts on alcoholic drinks, such as beer, wine, and cocktails. Free hors-d'oeuvres, appetizers, and discounted menu items are often served during happy hour." "Huh...The more you know. And after I cut these?" "There's not much to do that I haven't already got ready for. That and I've only been open for a little bit, so things are slow. But when you're done with that I'll go over a couple of the regular drinks that 90% of the time they'll order." "I think I already can handle one customer's usual with no problem." "Oh? And who would that be?" "Sans." I point to a line of mustard bottles near the icebox and he chuckles. "Yep. And knowing that, I think you'll do well here." I smile and focus on my cutting. "Grillby..." "Yes?" I don't look away from my knife work. "That stuff we talked about..." "I know. Workplace fun is for after hours. Our little game is on pause." Not exactly what I was going for, but that's okay I guess. But I can give him some leeway, I mean, I do want this fun we have to continue. And if something happens, like emotionally, that's fine too. I like Grillby. I can guess he likes me too by the few clues I've got from him. Who knows. It might be nice. "Sure. Glad we understand. After hours and break times." I glance at him and he looks at me flatly before smirking. "It's a deal, pussycat." "Oooooh~..." Punk Hamster is really testing my nerves. "Sounds like someone's getting lucky tonight~." "What did I tell you? I will take that glass and cram it up your..." Grillby's hand on my shoulder makes me pause. "Now now, pussycat, that's not how to treat a customer." Punk Hamster laughs mockingly until Grillby's gaze falls on him. "Let me show you how to properly deal with someone that isn't respecting establishment authority." Grillby approaches Punk Hamster, who looks like he's about to shit a brick, and slams his head onto the bar. He holds him down and leans to his ear, whispering something I can't hear. Though the look on Punk Hamster's face screams fear to me. When done, Grillby lifts him back up and pats his head a tad roughly like an old pal would do before turning back to me with that charming nonchalant grin of his. "So...Ready to learn some mixology, pussycat?" I'm a little unnerved but I need to learn that messing with fire can get you burned. Here goes nothing. "Uh...Sure. Teach away, oh master of the flame."

Whumptober!

Day 5: Poisoned

Link to AO3

Fandom: Supernatural (SPN)

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Original Character - Cerastes,

Warnings: Emotional distress, Fear, Poisoned, Burning

Summary: Sam and Dean go hunting what they think is a djinn. It’s not a djinn.

[Author notes: I’m going to take a liberty and tag @oddsocksandstuff here because I think she might like it :) ]

*

Poisoned

“What the hell is that thing?” Dean yelled as he scrambled away. “I thought we were dealing with a djinn, not- whatever the fuck that is!”

“I don’t know what it is, Dean!” Sam snapped, eying the horned snake warily. Its body was as thick as his thigh and it was watching him like he was food, it’s tongue flickering in and out.

“Sam…” Dean said, sounding nervous as the snake slid closer to Sam. Sam tried edging backwards but the snake followed him, its scales rasping over the rocks on the floor of the cave.

A hunter’s body had turned up poisoned outside these caves; the signs had pointed towards the attacker being a djinn, not some kind of giant, horned snake that Sam had never seen before.

The snake kept getting closer and Sam was backed up against a fucking wall. He pulled his gun and his breath caught in his throat when he saw the snake coiling to strike. He fired the pistol straight at its head- only for it to rise up, hissing louder than a growling motorcycle, and launch itself straight at Sam’s neck.

“Sam!” he heard Dean yell but the thing already had its fangs in Sam’s neck and it was on top of him, the weight of it crushing his chest and dragging him to the floor. “Get off him!” Dean shouted and then there were more gunshots and that deafening hissing far too close to his ear. Sam couldn’t breathe with the weight of it on his chest, could barely see straight and he felt his vision going, but before he passed out he felt the snake moving under him as he was dragged across the stone and into the pitch-black warren of caves.

*

Sam tensed rigid as he came to, opening his eyes to complete blackness. His breathing increased, rasping in his chest and he became aware of a throbbing pain in his neck. He brought his hand up to probe lightly at inflamed skin, only to seize up in pain at just the touch as agony radiated out from the bite all down his right arm and across his chest.

“Ah,” a voice said and Sam flinched violently, gritting his jaw when his back hit a wall and his neck twinged at the impact. “The younger Winchester, am I right?” Sam stayed silent, trying to look around, but there wasn’t even the slightest glint of light and he shuddered, feeling his chest tighten in terror even as he tried to slow his breathing. He heard the sound of scales rasping over rock and tensed.

“Your brother’s searching for you,” the snake said, suddenly much closer and Sam held himself tensely. His fingers roamed the wall behind him but it was just solid rock and dust. His gun wasn’t in its holster anymore, not that it had done much good last time, and his knife wasn’t there either. Fuck.

“I’m sure he’ll find you eventually,” the snake continued and Sam flinched when its breath brushed his shoulder. There were fingers on his neck, pressing into the bite wound and Sam kicked out with a scream, barely coherent as he threw himself away, hand clamped over his throbbing neck as he dragged in panicked breaths. 

The snake he and Dean had fought hadn’t fucking had fingers, nor a mouth.

“What are you?” he croaked. There was a sharp hiss that Sam knew instantly was from displeasure and he drew backwards instinctively.

“What am I?” the snake-creature said coldly. “Is that what you think of the things you kill, Sam? What are you? Do you think you still qualify as human-enough?”

Sam swallowed and blinked, “I’m…sorry,” he said slowly, realising that he’d offended it. “Who are you?”

He cringed when fingers brushed his cheek, expecting pain, but the touch was disturbingly gentle. “Better,” the snake said. “I am Cerastes. I would ask if you’ve heard of me but I expect not.” Sam kept quiet. Pain was seeping down from neck and spreading out, making his whole arm throb and he was sweating, his heart pounding too fast. The snake- Cerastes, was obviously venomous, but how the hell Sam was going to get out this, he had no idea.

A cold hand touched his face and Sam froze. “You’re keeping very quiet, hunter,” Cerastes said. “Aren’t you going to ask what I want?”

Sam was half-way to a snarky answer before he managed to stop himself and breath through the pain in his neck and shoulder, “What do you want?” he asked, trying to keep his voice civil. Maybe he could reason with this- creature.

“Good question,” Cerastes laughed, its voice light. There wasn’t an obvious gender to its voice, only a slightly rasping quality. “Mostly I want you dead, since you walked so willingly into my trap. And then I want your brother to find you. Then I’ll kill him too.”

Sam closed his eyes as he clenched his left fist; any movement of his right arm was painful. “Are- you venomous?” he asked finally, since pleading with the snake not to kill him seemed pointless at this stage. Sam would fight, he always did, but he needed to know what he was dealing with first.

He heard that same rasp of scales over stone and then a cold hand was placed under his chin, holding him there, while another hand ran through his hair. He kept very still, his breath shuddering in and out of his chest as he tried to process what was happening.

“You can- change shape, right?” Sam said, still trying to figure this thing out. Was it humanoid now? Because it had very definitely been entirely a snake, if a very large, horned snake, when he and Dean had been fighting it at the entrance to the cave-system.

“Indeed. I’m not chained to one skin as you humans are.”

Sam felt how Cerastes was touching his hair, almost like it was interested in the texture of it. Perhaps Cerastes didn’t grow hair. “Can I touch you?” Sam said slowly. He could feel the venom from the bite working its way across his chest and his neck felt like it was burning.

Cerastes’ hand stilled in Sam’s hair, “Why you want that?” it said.

“Just curious,” Sam said quietly. He couldn’t see this creature. And, yeah, he was curious, but he also wanted to know if this Cerastes had eyes he could stick his thumbs in, or a solar plexus he could hit.

The snake was silent for several seconds and Sam waited silently, even as he could feel the time passing like a physical weight on his shoulders, reminding him that he was pretty sure he was fucking dying.

“I suppose,” Cerastes said and Sam exhaled.

“Okay,” he said quietly and lifted his left arm slowly to reach out in front of him. His fingers met cool, smooth flesh and he stilled briefly, fascinated despite himself. He smoothed his thumb over the strange-feeling skin and felt what seemed to be a hip-bone. He moved upwards carefully and felt ribs, too close to the skin to be healthy, and then a flat chest. So, male? Or at least it seemed so. Sam’s roaming fingers moved over a nipple without him meaning to and he took his hand away sharply when Cerastes inhaled, worried that he was about to get his throat torn out.

Then Cerastes laughed, sounding slightly breathless, “You are gentle, for a hunter,” it, or perhaps he, said.

“Are- you male?” Sam wondered aloud, finding his hand reaching out to touch a bony shoulder, a collarbone. He momentarily forgot about the pain in his neck and was caught up in his curiosity over the creature.

Cerastes laughed again, “I have no gender,” they said. Sam startled when his hand was taken in a cool grip and then his hand was being guided downwards over the snake’s flat stomach. Sam flushed, thinking that he was about to encounter whatever genitalia it was that snakes have, but to his amazement the smooth, slightly leathery skin of Cerastes’ stomach blended seamlessly into scales.

“Oh my god,” Sam said, shocked despite himself. He’d seen a lot of things in his life but he still found himself able to be surprised. “Can I?” he said, as he slid his hand over flat, cool scales. Cerastes had a goddamn tail; thick as his waist and coiled around, shifting under Sam’s hands. “That’s- amazing,” he said quietly.

“Mm,” Cerastes said, but they sounded pleased.

“Can I touch your face?” Sam said.

“You may,” Cerastes said and Sam eagerly reached up, bumping into Cerastes’ chin.

“Sorry,” he said, running his fingers over a narrow face. Sam could feel scales on the top of Cerastes’ head, and they extended down behind Cerastes’ ears and down his spine, as far as Sam could reach anyway. Cerastes had no ears and no hair, not even eyelashes or eyebrows, but his nose and lips felt mostly human. Sam yelped in shock when a snake’s tongue flickered out to touch his fingers and Cerastes laughed. “Fuck,” Sam said softly.

“You are not what I expected, hunter,” Cerastes said and Sam grimaced, remembering the pain in his neck and he sighed, dropping his hand to lean back against the wall.

“How did you know about me, us, anyway?” he said.

Cerastes hissed quietly, but it was soft and not vicious as before. “I can taste murderers,” they said evenly. “And it was a hunter I last tasted. You and your brother’s names were mentioned.” Sam swallowed. “And you’re a murderer, aren’t you, Sam?”

Sam exhaled, “Yeah,” he said softly.

Cerastes was silent, “Mm, my turn to touch,” they said and Sam’s eyebrows lifted sharply.

“Seriously?” he said, twitching away when cool hands started tugging at his shirt. “Easy,” he said tightly, pushing Cerastes away. “That hurts.”

“Remove these coverings,” Cerastes said, sounding cold and Sam gritted his jaw and reluctantly moved his hand to the buttons on his shirt. Perhaps he could let Cerastes get close and then snap their neck. Murderer, he thought and closed his eyes. It was so dark that it didn’t make any difference anyway.

He struggled with the buttons with just his left hand, his right lying limply at his side, and he felt Cerastes’ fingers touching his hand.

“It’s difficult with one hand,” Sam explained tightly. Cerastes didn’t respond but Sam felt how Cerastes was following his movements with their own fingers and after he’d loosened a couple of buttons, Cerastes took over, freeing his shirt.

Then there was a cool hand on his chest and Sam’s breathing hitched, trying to ignore the inappropriate way that his cock twitched in his jeans.

“You are furred,” Cerastes said, sounding amused.

“Yeah,” Sam said, swallowing as Cerastes’ hand roamed, touching his pec and then smoothing over his stomach, dipping curiously into his bellybutton before touching his hipbone. Cerastes’ hand left him for a moment before it was touching his face and Sam’s breathing seemed doubly loud as Cerastes’ fingers ran over his jaw, his lips, and then paid particular attention to his ears.

“Such odd features,” Cerastes murmured and Sam exhaled on a shaky laugh.

“I guess. I’m kind of used to them.”

Cerastes’ explored his eyelashes, and his brows, and then returned to smoothing through his hair.

“My kind do not grow this,” they said, almost to theirself. “Yours is longer than most males.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed softly. The way Cerastes was touching him was distracting and Sam clenched his hand. Cerastes had said he would kill Dean, after their poison had killed Sam. “Cerastes,” he said slowly, “is there an antidote?”

The hand in his hair stilled and then withdrew. “Antidote?” Cerastes repeated. “Mm, for the venom?”

“Yeah,” Sam said warily. He was tensed to fight if Cerastes decided to attack him, now that their curiosity had been satisfied, but he didn’t hear the scrape of Cerastes’ scales.

“The only antidote I know of is my saliva,” they said evenly and Sam blinked, taken aback that he’d actually gotten an answer.

“Oh,” he said. The snake could be lying, of course, but it made a kind of sense.

“Sam!” Sam went rigid at the sound of Dean’s voice, distant but definitely there. Cerastes hissed violently and Sam reached out without thinking.

“Please,” he said sharply. “Please, don’t hurt him. Cerastes.”

Cerastes was still under Sam’s hands for a heavy second, and then they pulled themself away with a jerk, “You are both murderers!” they hissed.

“I know!” Sam cried, “But we only kill other killers, like you!”

“Liar!” Cerastes said. Their voice sounded further away and Sam tried to scrabble towards them to stop them, but he only fumbled blindly, his arm a blaze of pain. “You have killed innocents; we are nothing alike!”

“I never meant to!” Sam said, his voice cracking, but Cerastes didn’t answer and Sam could only hear the rasp of their scales as they abandoned him, slithering away to hunt his brother. “Fuck!” Sam said.

“Sam!” he heard Dean shout, closer, and he tried to drag himself to his feet, only to stagger sideways, falling into a wall and crying out at the pain in his right arm, cringing away. But he couldn’t leave Dean to face Cerastes alone and he stumbled forwards, extending his left arm as he tried to feel his way.

“Dean!” he yelled, because at this point, he didn’t care if Cerastes found him.

“Sam!” Dean returned his yell and Sam moved as fast as he could in that direction. “Fuck!” he heard and tried to move faster as he saw something that could maybe, possibly, be light up ahead. He heard the crackle of fire and orange light flickered.

There was a cry that didn’t sound like Dean and Sam realised he didn’t want Cerastes dead either and, able to half-see, he broke into a lop-sided run, unable to keep to a straight line as the venom started hitting him harder now that he was moving; his heart working against him as it spread the venom around his body.

“Dean!” he cried, hoping his brother was okay, was alive. Hoping that Cerastes hadn’t killed or him, or been killed. Then Cerastes started screaming.

Sam stumbled around a corner and threw up his hand to shade his eyes from the flickering light of a burning torch. He came forwards with watering eyes as Cerastes continued to scream. “Dean!” Sam yelled, “Stop!”

“Sam?” Dean said. He had Cerastes pinned, struggling, to the floor with a flaming baton pressed to the back of the snake’s head. The stench of charred flesh filled the air, making Sam cough. He staggered sideways to lean against a wall.

“We need them,” he managed, hoping that would be enough to stop Dean, and then his vision was fading and he felt himself close to passing out.

“Fuck, hang on, Sam,” Dean snapped, his voice fuzzy. Sam slid down to the floor and put his head between his knees, trying to hold onto consciousness. “What the fuck did you do, reptile?” Dean snarled.

“Dean,” Sam said weakly. “Don’t hurt them. Bring them here.” He heard Dean grunt and a pained hiss from Cerastes before Dean’s heavy footsteps approached him, accompanied by the drag of Cerastes’ scales over the dusty ground.

“Sam,” Dean’s hand touched Sam’s injured shoulder and Sam flinched away. “You with me, Sammy?” Dean said.

“Yeah,” Sam managed tightly. He brought his head up and found Cerastes eyes, losing his train of thought as he stared at the half-man, half-snake. Their skin, which had felt cool and stiff like worn leather under Sam’s fingers, glowed a soft pale-green in the torchlight, much lighter than it had been when Cerastes was in their full snake form. Cerastes met his gaze steadily, cold anger in their eyes, and pain. Sam could see a blackened mark on Cerastes’ neck where Dean had burnt him.

“Were you telling the truth?” Sam said after he’d dragged his thoughts back together.

Cerastes stared at him, unblinking, before Dean cuffed them roughly on the back of the head and they hissed angrily.

“Dean!” Sam protested.

“What?” Dean said. “It wasn’t fucking answering!”

“Their name is Cerastes,” Sam said, looking at Cerastes as he did so. Cerastes’ tongue flickered over briefly but after a long, tense moment, they inclined their head a fraction and Sam exhaled.

Cerastes’s saliva was the antidote. He tried to force himself to think. If he put his fingers anywhere near that mouth, Cerastes could just bite him again. The obvious solution was to kill them, but…Sam didn’t want to. How were they any different to Sam or Dean? Cerastes killed monsters, murderers, just like Sam and Dean tried to.

“Will- will you give it to me…willingly?” Sam slurred. He was losing control over the right side of his face as the venom spread.

“Sam?” Dean said. He kept his fiery torch close to Cerastes, threatening them, as he crouched down next to Sam. “What’s going on? It fucking bit you, right?” Sam saw Dean’s eye scan over the bite mark on Sam’s neck and Dean visibly winced. “What’s the cure? Answer me goddammit!”

“You’re murderers,” Cerastes hissed fiercely and Sam closed his eyes briefly.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, we kill things, and- and we’ve killed people too.” He choked briefly, remembering the blood on his hands, “I didn’t- didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” It was woefully inadequate but it was the best Sam had.

“Release me,” Cerastes hissed.

“I don’t fucking think so, snake,” Dean snapped.

Sam wearily met Cerastes’ gaze, “I can’t…let you kill my brother. I’m sorry. I love him too much.” He took a thick breath. The venom wasn’t going to hit his lungs and stop him breathing soon.

“For fuck’s sake, Sam, what do you need from it?”

“We tried to do the right thing,” Sam said quietly, keeping his eyes on Cerastes. The snake looked back at him, their mouth tight and pulled down at the corners. Their hand fisted by their side.

“Release me,” Cerastes said quietly. Sam looked at him silently, trying to read their face.

“Cerastes,” he said softly, pleading. Cerastes just stared at him silently.

“Sam?” Dean said, sounding scared. “Sam tell me what to goddammit!” Sam found Dean’s arm and clenched his hand around it, though he held eye contact with Cerastes. Finally, the snake sighed quietly and inclined their head. Sam released a shuddering breath.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

“Sam?” Dean said, utterly confused.

Sam turned to him, “Let go of them,” he said quietly, finding it hard to form words.

“What? Sam? You’re fucking delirious, okay-”

“Dean,” Sam snapped. “They’ll help me. They’re good, okay? They’re good. Just trust me, please.”

“Fucking insane,” Dean muttered. “Fucking crazy, stupid idjit brother.” But Sam blurrily saw Dean take away the flame torch, releasing Cerastes.

“Stupid hunter,” Cerastes hissed and Sam tensed briefly, thinking he’d made a terrible mistake- that he’d killed his brother, before Cerastes came up to him and pressed their cool lips to his, pushing their strange, saliva-wet tongue into his mouth.

“What the-” Dean stuttered, off to the side.

Cerastes drew away and Sam blinked dizzily at them, “Keep still,” they muttered and then there was a cool mouth on the bite on Sam’s neck and Sam gritted his teeth in agony, fisting his hands as he tried to obey and keep still as Cerastes pressed their saliva into Sam’s wound, their hands gripping Sam’s elbows tightly. After several, agonising, seconds, Cerastes pulled away to consider Sam. Sam’s vision was blurred but he still thought, blearily, how beautiful Cerastes was, and he lifted a heavy hand up to touch Cerastes’ cheek gently.

“You will survive,” Cerastes said, the words cold but his tone gentle.

“Thank you,” Sam said quietly.

“What just…happened?” Dean asked.

“I am going now,” Cerastes said icily. “Do not follow me.”

“The hell you’re not!” Dean said but Sam gritted his teeth against the pain to grab Dean’s shirt to hold him back.

“Don’t,” he growled. “Leave them. They only kill murderers, Dean.”

“Is that what it told you?” Dean said dismissively, “It fucking bit you, Sam!”

“Yeah, well, we’re murderers too,” Sam said coldly. “They just spared me. I owe them my life. Leave them, Dean.” Dean stared down at him and Sam glared back.

“Fine,” Dean growled. “We’ll leave your pet snake-man lover. Fucking brilliant.”

Sam looking past Dean, as Cerastes was moving away. The burn on the back of their neck made Sam wince in sympathy.

“Cerastes?” he called. The snake stilled but didn’t turn. “Could I- visit?”

“Sam!” Dean said, indignant, throwing his hands up.

Sam just waited for Cerastes’ response, holding his breath. Something about the snake made him want to touch and talk more. He felt like Cerastes had stories to tell, wisdom to give, and a subtle sense of humour that Sam liked.

“Don’t bring your brother,” Cerastes said finally, before they melted into the dark and Sam smiled, touching his neck gingerly. The feeling was slowly returning to it but Sam was exhausted.

“Fucking snake,” Dean muttered. Sam just smiled.

*

[Author notes: I really enjoyed writing this and got maybe a little carried away with it. the whump ended up being rather sweet at the end - I hope no-one minded! I owe a debt to this site: https://abookofcreatures.com/category/poison-and-venom/ for the inspiration for Cerastes. Let me know what you think of my first, I think, foray into the SPN fandom!]

Links to:

Day 1 - Stabbed, Detroit Become Human

Day 2 - Bloody hands, Marvel Cinematic Universe

Day 3 - Insomnia, Harry Potter

Day 4 - “No, stop!”, Altered Carbon

Nightmare Midnight

New Sans Days series….? Kinda??? I wanted to write some Gaster-centric fics that were still based in Sans Days, more into the future. Same rules as Sans Nights (Chapters are optionally-canon, reader’s gender will never be specified but genitalia might be mentioned with warnings if necessary, mostly just for smut or non-plot fun), tho added on I suppose Gaster is somewhat in a poly relationship with Reader and Sans. Well, not established in this chapter, but maybe future ones? Idk man, I just felt like writing the Gast-bro.

Main reason I wrote this is that I don’t do well with scary movies and nightmares, and writing this helped me get out of my jitteriness after both encounters lol. The nightmare is 100% an actual nightmare I had- and let me tell you it was The Worst. This chapter was basically self-therapy for me tbh.

Warnings: Haaaaa the nightmare is a metaphor for my life. I’m writing some seriously personal shit down so I hope you all appreciate how fucking terrifying my nightmares are. Body horror, nightmare shit. You should know the drill.

Also this might be like the first writing I've posted that doesn't have a cliffhanger. Don't get me wrong, I originally had one, but I wanted closure for myself lmao. Enjoy!

[Sans Days/Nights]

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“You cannot honestly still be thinking about that film.” Gaster’s voice caused you to jump slightly from the bed. You looked over, seeing him standing in the doorway to your room with a judgmental look on his face. “You barely watched ten minutes of it before giving into your fear and claiming you were too tired.”

“How- Whaaa? Nahh...” You tried to play it cool, pushing the blankets so they weren't as bunched close to your chest as you originally had them.

“The past twenty minutes I have been sitting on that couch utterly full of determination, which only happens during times of your adrenaline. I think we both know by this point the only thrill you get nowadays is by being terrified.” Gaster clarified with slight exaggeration and rolling his eye halos. You quickly motioned your hand in a lazy wave and trying to play off the very true statement he just said.

“Pssh. Yeah right. That movie didn’t scare me. It's just... taxes. And things.” You could tell by his face that he wasn't convinced. “Bills. That sort of thing. Normal humans get stressed about that sort of thing.” You continued, seeing that he was even less convinced now. He sighed and walked over to your bed, sitting down next to you but keeping his eyes to the wall.

“You are, by far, the worst liar I have ever met.” He muttered.

“If people knew you were a good liar, wouldn’t that mean you were a bad liar?” You asked, and you saw his eyebrow bone raise ever so slightly. Haha, point one for you.

“Hmm. Valid point. However, I can literally feel how quickly your heart is beating, and I highly doubt ‘taxes and things’ are the cause of that.” He glanced down at you, and you felt static at your toes. “Forgive me for not being my brother in this situation, I am sure he would be much better at comforting you than I would be. Perhaps I could visit his work for you?”

“Oh, no- of course not! He is on bad enough terms with his boss already… Really, I’m fine. You can go back to the movie, sorry I made you worried…” You sat up.

“Incorrect.”

“Huh?” You asked, blinking at his objecting, and not sure what exactly you got wrong.

“You did not make me worried, I was simply concerned about the excessive amounts of fear you were under.” He explained, and to you it sounded like what you just said but with more words. “Perhaps you would get better results for sleeping if you attempted it on the couch. I will put something else on the television for you.” Gaster stood and started walking towards the door.

“What? No it’s okay, you don’t have to-” You quickly objected, pausing when he turned back to face you with glowing haloes. White, so he wasn’t using his magic, but it was still very ominous in the darkness of the room.  

“I know I do not have to do anything you request. However, you did not request this of me, correct?” He offered, slight tilt of his head. “Living room.” He finished, gracefully turning away and walking out of your sight.

Your head spun at the confusing roundabout way Gaster seemed to care about you, and quickly slipped out of your bed and grabbed the blanket and pillow. When you got to the living room, Gaster was sitting on one side of the couch, the rest of it had been cleared. You paused, not exactly knowing how Gaster wanted you to sleep on the couch with him on it. He saw your hesitation and patted the armrest next to him.

“Papyrus told me that humans calm down when their head is being rubbed, similar to dogs, is that correct?” He asked, and you had to hold back your laughter.

“I mean…  I suppose? Last time Papyrus did it to me it really helped, but that was when Sans was… well...” You trailed off, not exactly sure if that was still a touchy subject. Gaster nodded anyway, repeating the patting motion to the armrest.

“Then rest your head here, I shall try my best to comfort despite my inexperience.” His gaze went back to the tv, and you saw that he had just some human show on with the volume low as it possibly could without it being muted, subtitles on. You felt a bit awkward about it but maybe he had a good idea. You placed the pillow on his lap and carefully crawled on, getting your head comfortable on the arm rest.

You felt the blanket adjusted to be more even on you before Gaster’s holed hand rested on top of your head, startling you ever so slightly. Gaster let out a low chuckle.

“Do not be so jumpy with me. The point of this is to calm you down.” Despite what he said, his voice still sounded slightly humored. You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, thankful that you weren’t facing him. “Go ahead and rest. No aliens from other planets will be after you tonight. I shall fend them off for you.”

You couldn’t help but to give a laugh at that. “Pft. Thanks Gaster... I really appreciate it.” You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, allowing yourself to take comfort in the slow motions Gaster’s hand made atop your head. After a little while he rested his other hand on your back, getting into a more comfortable position himself.

The quiet background noise of the tv helped keep the images of the alien from the movie out of your head, and you felt your breathing slow, and darkness accept you.

.

It is just a game.

It is just a game.

It is just a game.

You had to keep repeating that phrase to yourself as you ran in the office hallways, feeling the panic rising up inside of you. Even though you couldn’t remember how you ended up testing someone’s new Virtual Reality game they made. They didn’t tell you it was a horror game.

They didn’t tell you how realistic everything would seem.

You could see the damp mold along all of the edges of the walls, the spiderwebs that caught the flickering fluorescent lights just right, the sound of something coming from the hallways behind you. You hated it.

Trying to keep whatever was behind you as far back as physically possible, you kept running until you met another hallway intersection. Three choices laid before you, none of them ones you would ever choose in any other circumstances. The one to your left was drenched in darkness, but the bright light further down that way allowed you to see a massive lump silhouette against one of the walls, like a cocoon of some sort. The middle choice had better but still dim lighting, but you could see where the tiles have been broken up and replaced with something lumpy and fleshy, and you could see it pulse and move. The rightmost choice was a hallway that had a flickering light, allowing you to make out scratches and cracks all along it’s floor and walls.

This choice was a lot easier than some of the other hallways, at least. You gritted your teeth and ran through the right hallway, only to notice the bugs crawling out of cracks as you already started making your way down. You smacked your hands over your mouth to keep from screaming as you ran, trying to keep your eyes ahead of you.

Another intersection, another choice. You could feel whatever what was following you though their heavy footsteps, that were steadily getting closer. You stopped considering all of the choices, and settled with just going with the first option that you saw that didn’t look alive.

Left. Right. Straight. Straight. Left.

You refused to look behind you as you charged down the hallways, feeling as if the thing was just feet away from you at this point. But finally, after so many intersections, you noticed a doorway up ahead. You practically cried out of joy when you saw that, so happy to be over with this. You saw more options of doorways down the hall, but you went into the the first room you saw and reached for the door handle.

Only for your hand to grab empty air.

“Wrong choice.” A voice that you couldn’t determine if it was masculine or feminine said almost happily, and the air in the empty room went cold.

The heavy footsteps slowed down, and your breath caught in your throat as you gradually turned to face the monster for the first time.

It was not any monster from the underground.

It was Horror itself.

The entire being looked vaguely humanoid, however about three times as large and made of knotted grey flesh, composed of too many faces and not enough eyes. It was smiling without teeth in any of its mouths, and you could see movement under its skin stretch outwards, like something was trapped inside and reaching for you. It took another step forward, it’s thick feet stomping wetly to the ground at a relaxed, slow pace. It knew it won.

You brought your hands to your mouth as you screamed and backed more into the empty room, watching in terror as the only exit of the room was the one the Horror was using as an entrance.

“I want out. Let me out. I’m done. Game over. Let me out.” You screamed, grabbing at your face and trying to get ahold of the headset, only to not feel anything except yourself. It wasn’t a game. It was too real to be a game. You cried out as you tried grabbing the headset again, knowing you wouldn’t be able to escape from the Horror. You were done for.

“Calm down.” A familiar voice uttered right next to you, and you felt a warm embrace from someone much taller than you. The next moment you felt the sensation of teleporting, and the two of you dropped an inch onto damp carpet. Warm hands grabbed the sides of your face and turned you to face their owner.

“... Gaster?” You whispered, voice strained from your crying. It has been a while since you’ve seen him so serious. “What… What are you doing here? I-I-... I thought-” The floor shook under you, and you could feel the Horror running again, looking for you.

“You are in a dream.” Gaster explained, keeping his hands firm to the sides of your face, making sure you didn’t look anywhere except for at him. The words sounded strange, echoing despite nothing else echoing in the hallway. Dream… Dream…

“A… dream?” You asked, and suddenly felt very aware of everything around you, more in the moment. Your eyes widened, realizing what he said was true. “Wake me up, Gaster, please. I don’t want to be here anymore.” You started sobbing again. Gaster embraced you.

“Shh shh shh…” Gaster’s soft shushing caught you off guard, and you could feel his arms tighten around you, one hand behind your head and keeping you close. “The fact you didn’t immediately wake up at that… means we have to be clever.”

“Just wake me up, please, Gaster.” Your voice strained harder as you felt broken, wanting nothing more than to be rid of the terrible nightmare. He replied with more gentle shushing, slowly releasing you from his tight embrace. The stomping was getting closer.

“Listen to me carefully.” Gaster knelt down to eye level for you- something he has never done before. “I cannot wake you up. We need to finish the dream.” You felt more tears build up at his words, but he brought his hand up and brushed them away with his thumb, ignoring the growing stomps. “It will only come back to haunt you later if we do not finish this now. We need to defeat the nightmare.” He said slowly and clearly, and every time you tried to see past him he would gently bring your attention to him.

“We can’t. Did you see that thing? Its…. its…” You tried explaining, but Gaster only smiled.

“Just a dream.” He finished the sentence for you, slowly standing up and turning to face the hallway. He kept one hand behind him as if to keep you back, and waited.

A silent moment passed. Then another.

Part of the hallway exploded into bits as the Horror crashed into the corner, turning directions too quickly, and quickly righted itself and charged at you. It’s flesh rolled within itself as it stomped closer, making indescribable sounds as it moved. Gaster’s hand swung up and darkness tangled with its feet, tripping it up for just a second before orange lights slashed through the air- cutting the Horror into large pieces that toppled to the ground, no blood to be seen.

Gaster slowly lowered his extended hand back to his side, paused for a moment, before turning back to you with a smile. “See? No big deal.” He knelt down in front of you again. “You do not need to be afraid of monsters when you are surrounded by them.” He said, though most of what he was saying passed right by you as you watched the grey flesh from behind him float up and start stacking on top of the other parts.

“Hhhh… Hhhh….Haaaaahhhhhh…..” You were breathing too hard to form any words, and your legs refused to follow your commands to run. Gaster’s smile dropped when he saw your expression, and turned just in time to react to a fist slamming down to where he was a moment ago.

You would have noted he had extraordinary reflexes, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was now pulling you this way and that, avoiding the attacks of the Horror by inches at a time. He quickly wrapped his arms around you again and once again you two teleported.

Back into the empty room. The stomping starting up again.

You couldn’t take it. You collapsed onto the ground, sobbing into your hands. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry…” You could feel Gaster’s eyes on you, but you continued with your apology. “I took too long making choices, I kept going safe, I kept choosing comfortable routes and I took too long- if I was faster- if I just went through those stupid ugly halls I could have had more time- time to look at the fucking doors and choose the right room and- and- and- and-”

“...Are you really going through all of that on your own?” Gaster’s quiet voice stopped your thoughts in their place. You looked up at him with your puffy face, seeing him standing with an emotion you couldn’t quite place. His eyes were trained on you, the halos seemed dull.

“What?” You asked, only to feel the stomping getting closer. You couldn’t help but feel the terror tightening around your heart, and you let out another choked sob. Gaster sat down in front of you and placed his hands on the sides of your face again, this time his brow bones slightly lowered.

“You have been feeling this trapped for this long?” He asked, you didn’t understand. “Do you weigh all of your choices so heavily that you think in the end, you think they will be life or death for you?” He seemed so concerned for you… but you couldn’t figure out what he was getting at. Seeing your confusion, he took a breath and tried again. He quietly said your name, softening his hold on you. “Let us start over. How did you end up here?”

“...Here?” The stomping echoed around the room. “Someone… offered me a game. Then I was trapped- I had no choice but to run and try to get away… but I made the wrong choices and now it’s coming for us because I failed-” Your words were quickly running together as your panic rose, and Gaster placed a finger over your lips.

“It is rigged.”

The words caused time to freeze, and you stared wide-eyed at Gaster. He continued. “The game is rigged. There are no right choices, no happy endings. It is a game that is predetermined to make you suffer, before giving you dissatisfaction. You were trapped in here thinking that there was a way to survive, when there is none.” Each word felt like a punch to the gut as the helplessness set into your bones.

“There are no happy endings…?” You repeated, voice still shaking.

“None. The people that made the game lied about those to trick you into playing it.” He nodded, eyebrow bones lowered. “They wanted you to play for their enjoyment, not yours. Now, is that fair?”

You felt your breath strained as you looked down, thoughts hanging up on the no happy endings. No happy endings. No happy endings. “No… That isn’t fair at all.” You said quietly, feeling the pressure of defeat pressing all around you.

“Then you should not play fair yourself.”

Time became normal again, and you felt the floor shaking as the Horror was closing the distance to you two. Gaster quickly stood up and offered a hand to you. “I know you dislike using Console Commands, but I do think the game needs them this time to be playable.”

You accepted his hand and he pulled you up, only for the Horror to appear in your view behind him in the doorway. You felt the fear tug you backwards again, but Gaster kept a tight grip on your hand, and stepped behind you, giving you a clear view of the Horror and all its grotesqueness.

“Here. I am here to help.” Gaster motioned with his free hand, and a keyboard made of orange light appeared in front of you. The Horror stepped forward, slowly again, thinking it won once more. It just needed a few more steps and it would crush the two of you. “Go on. Show the creators what happens when they make a rigged game.” He urged you to the keyboard.

The Horror took another step forward, and you finally reached for the keyboard and pressed the [~] key. The world shimmered before you, growing slightly brighter, and more of the texture seams became visible. Your fear was still thick in your blood as the Horror took another step closer, but you quickly typed a command onto the keyboard and raised two fingers at the Horror, pressing enter and speaking the command.

“Kill.”

The Horror exploded into dust, turning into bright light before vanishing completely. You felt a smile on your face for the first time since the dream started. Your smile grew slightly as you looked at your hands, wondering what else you could do with the Console Commands while you were here. You quickly typed [tg] and tapped the enter button, and grass immediately grew through the tiled ground. You felt yourself giggle and you found yourself typing one string of commands after another, some that you weren’t even sure if they were real commands, but they all seemed to have an effect on the dream you were in.

You took away ceilings, then walls, then toggled the sun on. Gravity was lowered, and all enemies were removed from area- just for good measure. It was just you and Gaster, in a beautiful valley full of grass in broad daylight. You jumped and turned to face him, and he instinctively grabbed your hand to keep you from floating up too far. You used his hand to pull yourself closer to him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“... Thank you.” You whispered, and it took a moment before Gaster embraced you back.

“I told you I would help fend off any aliens after you tonight.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“I don’t think that was an alien though…”

“It sure was not based off of the alien from the movie, I could tell that much, but I will warn you that I will be insulted if you simply classify that creature as a monster.” Gaster lightly threatened, and you huffed part of a laugh.

“I mean- sure, okay it was an alien. Thank you anyway, Gaster.” You smiled, not able to thank him enough for getting you out of that nightmare. “... How are you here, by the way?” You looked up at him, slowly coming to the conclusion that this was actually Gaster, not just your dream version of him.

“I have a wide range of abilities, including one that allows me to haunt the subconsciousness of others.” He said, keeping his eye halos to the horizon. “When I noticed you having a nightmare, I only meant to observe what it was about- I never intended to get involved.”

“So why did you save me?” You asked, and you could tell he was purposely avoiding looking at you. He was silent for a moment, seeming to choose his words carefully.

“I needed to keep my word, that is all.” He settled with, letting go of the hug. You watched him as he kept his head turned away, and give him a light punch. That startled him and he looked down at you.

“Daw, you care about me.” You smiled, and he tried to mask his face with unamusement, though you could see though it. He raised a finger as if he was going to tell you that you were wrong again.

“Correct.” He smiled at your shock at him actually admitting it, seeming to hold back his own laugh. “Though I must admit, I did not do as much as you think I did. I just bought you time to take control of your own dream.” He looked down and brushed his foot through the lush grass.

“What do you mean? You gave me the keyboard.” You bounced slightly, enjoying the low gravity. He watched you, entertained at your lazy floating.

“I gave you the illusion of a keyboard. Nothing but a light show.” He held out his hands, and more orange lights danced between them. “You believed in it, and willed your actions to change your dream. Think of it as… Kickstarting lucid dreaming.” He offered simply, a rather out of character thing for him to do.

“Huh. Well, thank you for that.” You smiled, tapping a finger on your cheek as you gently bounced on one foot. “Would you do me one more favor, since we are here?”

He nodded, seeming to expect you wanting something more of him. “What is your request?”

“Catch me!” You cheered, leaping up into the air and gradually floating backwards.

You heard Gaster’s breath catch and he jumped after you, expertly catching you in a bridal position mid air. After a moment, the two of you gracefully landed onto the soft grass, and you saw Gaster looking at you as you were having giggling fits. You could see him trying to mask a smile on his face as he sighed and shook his head. “So, now what?” You asked between your giggles. He considered a moment before bringing his mouth close to your ear.

“I think it is time to wake up.”

You felt your leg jerk, and your vision spun for a moment before you realized you were still in the living room. The tv was quiet, and the room had long gone cold. You noticed you were still perfectly warm however, as you felt Gaster’s arms were wrapped tightly around you, a hand placed on the back of your neck, keeping you close to his chest. His grip loosened, and he looked down at you with his bright haloed eyes.

“No more nightmares without me, alright?” He asked.

You nodded.

holy shit, how can this person not realize how incredibly bullshit this entire argument is? it's literally the green eggs and ham story, but with rape. you can say the story is cute because in the end they like it, but that's food. to continually badger someone over what circumstance they'd change their no to a yes in regards to sex is definition rape culture. they're hoping to wear you down enough that you'll eventually say yes and try what you're uncomfortable with, exactly like rapists.

And the fact it's my longtime friend makes it even more frustrating and hurtfulBest quotes include:"hormones are also able to alter preferences, and as such sexuality will forever be fluid. There are further contexts to that, such as nurture, brain chemistry, and the like, and it certainly cant be changed willingly due to the complexity of an individual, but many folks find their identity alter as they go forward."So I guess reparative therapy doesn't work because you FORCE it, but if you just keep an open mind it'll maybe happen on its own ;)"Sometimes alterations are so small or infrequent that statistically they are irrelevant, and for those folks we classify them as "monosexual". largely because as humans we love categories, and they facilitate understanding. But it is imperative to not perfectly remove possibility on a technical scale, but only on a semantic scale."A lot of his argument through the whole exchange was that: you can't technically say something couldn't ever happen to your attractions. Monosexuals don't exist because they say they could never be attracted to a certain group and that's just not technically correct."Sure, sexual compatibility is important, but that is interpersonal, not categorical. Not all transguys have femme features at all. Some even might have been born with butch genetalia."Wtf is butch genitalia my guy. There are words for organs. Why are you being like this. Oh and attraction can't be categorical...I guess?"But attraction to a person has been shown to allow for variance in what we deem "what we want"...."Emotions fuck with us my guy. But to re-iterate the point of this: accepting the possibility is not accepting responsibility to pursue it."What if you found a female you REALLY LIKED!? Emotions will make you stop being gay, you silly monosexuals. "Finally, you seem to equate criticism of your stance as equal to criticism of your identity, and that needs to be removed."I like to say that homosexuals are silly for saying they can't like the opposite sex too, but I don't like that you get offended =["Consent is the right in question, and consent is based off of individual evaluation, the trend of which is documented as orientation. Past patterns predict, but do not rule, future engagements."Sure, something MAY have been true and proven yesterday, but it's quite silly to assume it will ALWAYS be true. Silly monosexuals. ;)"You lose the right (to deny access to myself to any and all females) when broad categories are used, akin to racial preference. On an individual basis, you have every right."You can say individual women just aren't your type, but it's rude to say NO woman couldn't make you hot and bothered silly gay man ;) I would know as a pansexual ;)(Responding to the claim that homophobia is based on a hatred of same sex attraction and intimacy) "In a general sense, to the uninformed"He has yet to explain what he things homophobia IS based in if not on the hate of homosexuality =\"Literally just adjust your meaning of exclusive to the semantic meaning. Because on a technical level i could develop an attraction to ping-pong paddles, were the brain adjusted. It's the scary reality of neural connections. This refusal of the literal science is concerning, when this is a social problem that should be addressed on social terms. Biology is fucked man. Humans are bethesda codes. Semantically im not, and never expect to wanna fuck paddles. But I wont rule out that it could happen, like anything else."Look, right NOW I don't want to fuck a horse, but I really shouldn't be so silly as to say I'd NEVER fuck a horse. How closed minded you silly non-open-to-the-possibility-of-horse-fuking-persons ;)"My role as a multisexual is set aside for this, i'm approaching this as a scientist and anthropologist."I have no idea what it's like to be a gay man, but I can put aside that ignorance and understand objectively anyway without listening to anything a gay friend actually tells me =DI honestly don't know how someone gets...this homophobic while being same-sex attracted on some level. I'm just rethinking whether I want to even be friends with this guy if he won't widen up and just stfu for a second and listen...

What if? Sims OC Tag

Chosen OC: Laney Kerrigan

You can find the story here: Life and Times | Pastel Pink | Charcoal Grey

I was tagged by @dinaswimmer and @lovelychooser three years ago, and pestered by @pixeltrashcan. This is the only Laney you’re getting for a LONG time heaux.

WHAT

What is your character’s favorite memory?: Okay, one, you can not have a favorite memory, come on. This question is terrible. Anyways, I would say that the thing she loves most about growing up was how incredibly close her family was (her mom, dad, and her). They would spend the summers at the family cabin, and so she learned to like being on the water. She liked those trips the most, making pie iron pies with her mom and listening to her dad tell her stories he ripped off Unsolved Mysteries about Big Foot and Skunkape. 

Who and what would your character give their life for?: She would sacrifice a lot for anybody she cares about, even though she’s never really been tested. So, I think the list would be long. Laney does a lot of hurting people childishly, but if she could look past her own selfishness she’d realize how much those people mean to her. So, her parents, Scotti, Klein, Isla :) 

What is your character’s greatest fear?: Being alone. And, coincidentally, being in charge of her own life, because she is afraid of responsibility. 

What is your character’s proudest accomplishment?: To date, getting a publishing contract for her first manuscript. 

What is your character’s #1 insecurity?: Her lack of self-confidence, which in turns makes her fear every decision she has to make. She’s constantly afraid that she’s making the wrong move, or saying the wrong thing. 

What will/can break your character completely?: Oh, I mean, a lot of things? She just doesn’t fucking know it yet? Her first big break came when she realized how her poor decision making came to hurt other people. It totally destroyed her confidence. I wouldn’t say that her confidence is gone, per se, it’s just kind of laying dormant, and she doesn’t remember how to wake it up (or she’s too afraid to). Right now, she would get pretty broken if a certain someone were to leave her completely, but for all the wrong reasons. 

What would your character make a scene in public about?: Generally anything. The high price of cupcakes, lack of Toaster Strudels at Kroger, Peter Pan Peanut Butter Alerts, Pixar Same-Facing. You know, worldly problems. 

What can drive your character to do criminal acts?: I don’t know. I think her moral compass is too overclocked right now. 

What Pet (mythical or not) would your character want to have?: Unicorn. Mermaid. Probably the unicorn though, because she’d want to ride it. But maybe the mermaid, because those seem pretty self-sufficient, but I think maybe that’s also called slavery. So, we’ll go with the unicorn. 

What is the cutest thing your character has ever done?: Um? This is Laney. How about the LEAST CUTEST THING SHE’S EVER DONE. We all know what that fucking was.  

HOW

How does your character feel about sexual intercourse?: I’ve always thought that Laney spent the majority of her adult life snickering behind her hand at the mention of human genitalia, and using sex scenes in movies as prime opportunities to refill her snacks. Laney in a relationship was actually pretty gung ho about it, but that has mostly changed. Now it’s something she does but doesn’t talk about. 

How close is your character with family and friends?: Super close. Uber close. Her parents are her biggest support system, and she loves her best friends more than anything. 

How does your character react to pressure?: Quite literally emotionally collapses. 

How religious is your character (if they believe)?: She doesn’t think too much about it. She’s not religious, but she is spiritual in the sense that she believes there’s someone watching over us, she’s just not sure who or what and she doesn’t mind, but she does find comfort in them. 

How does your character’s personality change when someone gets uncomfortably close (relationship wise)?: She thinks she’s figured this problem out by keeping relationships in boxes, and only poking enough holes so that they can breathe, but very much is forcing that relationship to behave the way she wants it to, and when that doesn’t work out, she gets really anxious. I’d say her personality changes big time. She’s pretty smothering, and kind of like one of those mean neighborhood kids that stands at one end of a garden hose and makes a big kink, and just waits for some unsuspecting creature to come along to fall for her trick. 

How does your character’s living space correlate with their personality?: I think it’s a pretty good reflection of who she is deep down, when it’s not covered up with noxious behaviors and self-loathing. It’s cluttered, kind of dusty, and cute, but mostly it’s a giant collective of all the things she loves and all the experiences she’s gathered. 

How well does your character act around with unknown and different people?: She’s fine, mostly. Her social awkwardness covers up the fact that she gets uncomfortable, because she’s pretty good at making other people just as uncomfortable as her. 

How much does your character value money?: She doesn’t, really. 

How would this character cope with losing someone extremely close to them? I would really hate to see this. I think Laney is at a point in her life where if something like that happened, she could never come back from it. 

How long does it take for your character to trust others? That depends. If it’s like a business or professional setting, then it’s a much lower threshold. I still think she’s too trusting in general. 

SCENARIOS

If your character could change one thing about themselves, what would they want to change?: Her inner strength. I think she does really want to get back to a place where she’s okay relying on herself. She’s always looked up to her mother and Scotti, and women who are sort of “one woman armies”. There was a time she thought she was like that, but it wasn’t the person she was meant to be. Now she’d be happy with being a quarter of that.

If your character could go back in time at any point in their life, what would they do to change the present?: I think the single most important moment for her, was when she started working at the Weekly. It symbolizes when she stopped doing things for herself, and lost control of her life. If she could go back in time, she would have skipped the whole city living chapter and gone straight for following her heart, and done the Sims of San Myshuno project straight out of college. 

If your character was given a chance at fulfilling their dream, can they drop everything they have now to go pursue it?: Yeah, she did that already.

If your character’s current spouse or partner cheated, would they try to make it work or leave forever?: Right now, she forgives her “current partner” for a lot of things. They’re non-exclusive, so I guess the cheating part is just emotional, but I’m pretty sure Klein could commit murder and she’d still wash the blood off his knuckles. Desperation is very motivating. In a hypothetical future sense where she was in a healthy relationship? Yeah. She’d probably try to work it out, only because she was the one to cheat, once, and she has to believe that cheaters can be forgiven, and also because a small part of her would think she deserved it.

If a zombie apocalypse begun in the town your character currently lives in, what would they act like?: She’d go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for it all to blow over.

What if your character suddenly woke up to an unfamiliar place, and realize the life they lived was all a dream. Their family, friends, home.. all gone but still crazily vivid in their head. How would they react?: Well, she’d be really sad? I have no idea LOL. How could anyone react to this. She’d put on a fucking trench coat and find the nearest operator. 

If your character was thrown in jail, what would they be guilty of?: Creating a public disturbance. 

Rewind 10 years from now, what is your character currently doing?: Finally comfortable with herself after years of bullying in school, she’s just managed to eek out of her awkward phase, lose the braces, embrace the glasses, and fashion, and will soon be graduating top of her senior class. 

Your character is in the movie SAW, facing their worst fear. What is that fear, and how does he/she react?: She’s in a room full of shelves filled with those unsightly Victorian porcelain dolls and they all have voice boxes. Cue The Joker-esque transformation.

We regret to inform you that your character is dead. Where do they end up? Heaven? Hell? And how the heck do they react?: She’s stuck somewhere in regretful purgatory where she gets to sit, confused, drifting between hysterical laughter and uncontrollable sobbing for the rest of eternity. 

I’m tagging no one because this meme is super old and I don’t even know. It took me like an hour so I’m not going to submit others to this torture. I hope you’re happy, Nicole. You better read every fucking word, too. I’ll know if you’re lying. Pop quiz at 8PM sharp.

Hi, bisexual woman here. I normally explain it as: bisexual people are interested in more than 1 gender (the number and scope can depend on the individual's specific taste) and pansexual are open to all genders

I’ve seen a few responses like this. It seems like, if we’re using a Kinsey scale, and 0 is exclusively heterosexual and 6 is exclusively homosexual, we might expect pansexual to fall in at 3, and bisexual to fill out the rest of the chart 1-2, 4-5? Maybe? (tho we might have to add another dimension for nb, genderfluid, genderqueer individuals, but this is a rough schematization)

Some more, longer comments under the cut!

@deathbycoldopen​

I identify as bi, but mostly I just use queer. The problem that I see with pan as a descriptor is that it creates a lot of division in a part of the queer community that is already ostracized. Making a distinction that’s just splitting hairs and doesn’t line up with people’s personal descriptions anyway seems like a waste of energy, and also turns us against ourselves over an issue that doesn’t exist.

Because I really do see bi and pan as meaning the same thing- and saying that they’re different makes it seem like people who identify as bi are transphobic or otherwise glued to the gender binary, which I’m pretty sure most of them aren’t, OR like you say, weirdly obsessed with gender for some reason, when that’s obviously not the case.

The other thing I find weird about it is that people tend to get fixated on the labels, getting down to an absurd level of detail that you don’t really need to be sharing with strangers. Like, I don’t really need to know that you find yourself attracted to people but don’t want to have sex with them but will watch if that’s cool- just. tmi. I’m honestly not super comfortable with people knowing about my own sexual attractions and thoughts and preferences, so it’s just easier to say queer, and using bi is a general enough term that I don’t have to sit around explaining to everyone and dragging the conversation into places I’m not comfortable with it going. If I used pan, it would inevitably lead into that conversation, because unless you’re already active in the community, you don’t know what pan even means- so either I use pan and have to spend hour explaining to me grandma what it means that I’m attracted to people of all genders and she gets confused because she doesn’t know about genders other than male or female, OR I’m just saying queer because my sexuality is more complicated than either bi or pan and if you know what pan means you should understand that having an umbrella term is useful.

So. Yeah. To me, it’s both political and personal to use bi.

It is both political and personal for me, too. It’s about history and combating people who say ‘bisexual’ is a bad word. (and yes queer is the best word)

@thisheadyadventure

I feel that, to be fair, the distinction between bisexual and pansexual is really reliant on an individual’s understanding of what those particular terms mean to them, and the sexual history of the individual.

For example, I discovered my sexual awareness at a particularly young age (approximately seven or eight, if I recall correctly.) At the time, the only terms that were used were straight, gay (RE: men who are sexually attracted to other men), or lesbian (RE: women who are sexually attracted to other women;) and bisexual (RE: any individual who is sexually attracted to either genders) didn’t really become a popular term for a few years after that. Since that point, I secretly identified as bisexual to myself, because I was sexually attracted to both male and female sexes, as well as hermaphroditic individuals.

Now, that’s not to say that I’m only sexually attracted to the genitalia of the individual; I’m also a bit of a sapiosexual, and I place greater emphasis in the internal characteristics like personality, trustworthiness, respectfulness, kindness, and intelligence, etc., etc…. although, physical desirability takes presidence. I just don’t think about whether or not I prefer one set of genitalia over another. I’ve had sex with and appreciated the penis, vagina, and individual’s who have both. It really doesn’t matter to me…

Taking that into consideration, as well as the present distinction between the different levels of gender and sexual orientation as it stands today, I would probably say that I am more of a pansexual than a bisexual individual. I don’t limit my sexual attraction only to (cis)male and (cis)female individuals; nor do I actively seek out nonbinary individuals and focus my sexual desires on them… and, I don’t make exclusive preference to how the physical body can induce and satisfy pleasure.

To me, bisexual is more in line with an exclusively binary sexual attraction, with an emphasis on the traditional understanding of male and female; but that is only because I understand the prefix bi- to mean “two,” not many. Whereas pansexual is decidedly the opposite, with the prefix pan- literally meaning “all” or “everything.”

This is just my distinction and reasoning…

I’ve been reading a lot over the past few days about what people have claimed the differences are, and a lot of people have focused on bi = two, therefore it must equal two and only two genders. I just think that’s an interesting bit of language.

@defilerwyrm

Fun fact: way back in high school, the first term I learned to describe people like me was the obsolete term “ambisexual.”

Pansexual is more linguistically correct for me because I’m attracted to good-looking adult humans of any gender or sex. For a while after discovering the term I switched to that, but i switched back after some thought (I’m comfortable with both…you could say i swing high ways on the matter). I prefer the term bisexual because it has a rich legacy that deserves to be honoured and perpetuated, rather than shunned because transparent biphobes want to use prescriptivist etymology as an excuse to hate us. Calling myself bi is a consciously-chosen “fuck you” to everyone who hates us, perpetuates damaging stereotypes, and outright lies about us. Bisexual is a political statement: I’m here, I’m queer, I’m not going to let you force your bigoted revisionist descriptions on me.

Also have you seen the pan flag? It’s hideous!! I might hate pink but at least the bi flag is has a sensible palette!

To me, they really mean the same thing with slightly different connotations. I define bi as “same and different” and pan as “all.” Neither of those mean anything about how strongly you prefer any sex or gender. If you prefer feminine people of all genders, you’re bi (and pan, because femme is a presentation, not a gender). If you prefer sex with people with penises better but wouldn’t say no to vadge, you’re bi. If you’re open to relationships and/or sex with anyone equally, you’re bi. If you’re into women and nonbinary people but not men, you’re bi (but not, in this case, pan).

There’s my $0.02.