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gorgonarcher · 3 months

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Game 7 - 7th Sea, Second Edition

7th Sea is a game about swashbuckling adventure, and the conflict between heroes and villains. It's another not!Earth setting, with this one placed in a time period analogous to the 17th Century.

It calls on novels like The Three Musketeers and movies like Sea Hawk. And though they're off by about a century, the Sharpe, Count of Monte Cristo, and Horatio Hornblower novels also fall into this area.

This would seem like a a case for our first gorgon archer that's an epitet, but actually, I've done this build before and there's a good way to go about this. I might dip into that build a bit here and there, but will likely do some variations. There is some homebrew involved, but it is at a level that the game expects you to do. Basically, some of the magic in the game provides examples of powers and encourages building your own powers. But let's go to the build.

Step 0: Concept

Now, we clearly have the concept in mind, because it's the entire point of this blog to do different versions of a gorgon archer in different systems. But there's a bit more to concept step than in a lot of games. The game uses a Twenty Questions method for developing character personalities.

What nation is your character from? The magic I'm thinking of using is from Ussura and while I've seen podcasts that allow mix and matching magic and nation (which I very much love), but for these builds, I try to stick to RAW as much as possible. I'm homebrewing some powers within the magic, but that's actively encouraged by the text. With this in mind, we're going with Ussura. Ussura is a not!Russia. The primary feeling is rural Russia with the deep forests, mountains, and folk tales. It's a land of "superstition". There is a darker land in the setting that is basically not!Germany by way of Castlevania. The magic in Ussura is dark but not really malevolent.

How would you physically describe your character? I'm assuming an athletic build, broad muscled-shoulders from pulling a bow string. Lots of moving around on foot, hunting in the hills and forests. Hair in multiple tight braids. Dusky skin from being out in the environment a lot. Dirt stains, lots of small scars. Dressing practically, hunters gears. When her magic is active, her hair becomes snakes.

Does your Hero have any recurring mannerisms? I think she plays the flute and will occasionally practice finger placements when she has a spare moment or when she's stressed.

What is your Hero's main motivation? She went out into the world after most of her village died. She was the only to survive due to Dar Matushka (her magic), and she wants to find out why it was done and who did it. This is going to be a long, ongoing thing with many steps. And along the way she'll encounter other situations that need a hero. She is seeking justice, but is teetering on revenge instead and this will project on to the other situations she finds herself in.

What is your Hero's greatest strength? Greatest weakness? Her greatest strength is her patience, useful for a hunter. And her greatest weakness is that she gets fixated and tunnel-visioned on things.

What's your Hero's most and least favorite things? Her favorite thing is a wonderfully cooked meal with a lot of spices. One of the best things she enjoys about traveling is enjoying the new foods she encounters. As for her least favorite things, she doesn't like card games. She never understands the rules and people are always accusing her of cheating.

What about your Hero's Psychology? This is a fairly open-ended question. And by "fairly" I'm engaging understatement. I would say this character is socially awkward and has a firm moral core, but as I said earlier, she fixates on things and misses out on the periphery. Her eye is on the target, but doesn't always on what's around her. And while she's patient, patient rage just means sustained risk of collateral damage.

What is your Hero's single greatest fear? The character is most afraid of disappointing people. She always felt she didn't do enough to support the people from her village and when they all died, it just pinged that tremendously. She has survivor's guilt and fears a repetition, though probably not consciously. So she's a bit focused on searching out potential evil and her tendency to fixate means that her self-care is dwindling.

What are your Hero's greatest ambitions? Her greatest love? The problem here is that finding that ambition and love would be part of her story as it develops. She's a person very much bound up in living up to expectations and taking on tasks. Very much a now person. She doesn't really know what she wants for herself. Hasn't even really thought of it.

What is your Hero's opinion of her country? She loves Ussura, the music, the culture, and everything. She enjoys experiencing it, at least from the edges, where she can avoid being overwhelmed. And she's started to see the merits in other cultures as well, now that she's traveling.

Does your character have any prejudices? She doesn't much like artists. Sometime when she was a child, an "artist" came through her village and grifted most of the people in town before moving on.

Where do your Hero's loyalties lie? She's a very personal person, her loyalties extend as far her own circle. She was loyal to her village and she's loyal to the people she meets and takes a liking too. But she also doesn't want to see harm come to people if it can be avoided.

Is your Hero in love? Is she married or betrothed? No. Anybody she would have been interested in growing up died. She may be ace or demi. She's never really thought about this sort of thing.

What about Hero's family? Well, first her family lost land and money to that grifter, and then everybody died due to a poisoned well. She likely has some relatives in other villages, but doesn't personally know them.

How would your Hero's parents describe them? A strange girl, never seems to show much emotion. Likes to watch people be on the edge of festivals. Loves to eat. Doesn't talk much.

Is your Hero gentle? In some ways, yes. She doesn't like to hurt people either emotionally or physically. On the other hand, she can be very efficient and brutal when she does need to fight. She approaches things like a hunter, weakening prey when she has to, but preferring to finish things in one action. Also, as she has been touched by Dar Matushka, she has a penchant for arranging lessons for people that may appear cruel on a first glance, even though they will turn out better for the subject... assuming they learn from it.

How religious is your Hero? She has a syncretic approach to religion mixing bits of the old gods and spirits of Ussura with the Church of the Prophets here and there. She doesn't participate much in ceremony or ritual, but expects priests to be good, holy people, while also respecting witches and sorcerers for what she considers an acceptable profession. This does mean she is especially offended when either prove to be villainous.

Is your Hero a member of a guild, gentle's club, or secret society? Not as of yet.

What does your Hero think of Sorcery? She is a sorcerer, though she didn't seek out becoming that. She considers sorcery to be a respectable profession with its own responsibilities. But she is aware of the dangers and temptations of some types of sorcery.

If you could, what advice would you give your Hero? Find your own path, live for yourself. Find something you love rather than moving from obligation to obligation. Even when you're the only one seeing the obligation.

So that was Step 0.

Step 1: Traits

These are your character's basic attributes, there are 5.

Brawn - strength and physical power

Finesse - agility and coordination

Resolve - willpower and endurance

Wits - ability to think on your feet.

Panache - charm and magnetism.

All of these start at 2 and we have two more points to add on top of that. One thing's for sure given the description we've had before, Panache is not our priority. That said, people can be charming without meaning to be. Still, however, Finesse will go up to represent her skill with stealth and archery and Resolve will go up due to her ability to focus on her goal. This means her Traits look like this:

Brawn: 2

Finesse: 3

Resolve: 3

Wits: 2

Panache: 2

Step 2: Nation Bonus

Our choice of Nation also gives a bonus to our traits. For Ussura, it would be a bonus to either Resolve or Wits. I could increase her Resolve to 4, but I think she is good on thinking on her feet within the bounds of her fixations. So lets take Wits and now our Traits look like this:

Brawn: 2

Finesse: 3

Resolve: 3

Wits: 3

Panache: 2

Step 3: Backgrounds

We choose two backgrounds that come with some Quirks to generate Hero Points, some Advantages, and five skills that gain a rank.

I already know which backgrounds this will be and while this character's personality is very different from the first time I did this build, these backgrounds are the same.

Hunter:

Quirk: Earn a Hero Point when you use your hunter’s acumen to save someone from danger.

Advantages: Sniper, Got It!

Skills: Aim, Hide, Intimidate, Notice, Ride

Touched by Dar Matushka:

Quirk: Earn a Hero Point when you teach someone a lesson in a way that would make Matushka proud.

Advantages: Sorcery x2, Survivalist

Skills: Athletics, Intimidate, Perform, Tempt, Theft

Step 4: Skills

With the points from our Backgrounds, our Skills currently look like this:

Aim: 1

Athletics: 1

Hide: 1

Intimidate: 2

Notice: 1

Perform: 1

Ride: 1

Tempt: 1

Theft: 1

We now have 10 points to spread between skills. At character creation, we can only go to a maximum of 3 in any stat. But getting to that 3 has something of a benefit, showing the list of skills and benefits for high ranks below:

First things I'm going to do is increase Aim, Athletics, and Notice. Adding 2 to each to max them out. That leaves us with 4 points left. I'm putting two of those points in Empathy, she's bad at emoting, but she's decent at reading people. Another point will go into Weaponry (she has used axes and knives) and one into Scholarship... just to add something a bit out of expectation. Apparently she likes to Read.

This makes her skills look like the following:

Aim: 3

Athletics: 3

Empathy: 2

Hide: 1

Intimidate: 2

Notice: 3

Perform: 1

Ride: 1

Scholarship: 1

Tempt: 1

Theft: 1

Weaponry: 1

Now, as a note, the way the game works, at the start of a scene, you choose a Trait and a Skill to determine the main way you plan on focusing your actions. So spreading things like this is definitely more towards RP purposes. But then again, there will be times that her high skills don't really apply to a situation, so having a spread of skills is still useful.

Step 5: Advantages

Our backgrounds already gave us some Advantages as follows:

Sniper (3pt) - You gain 1 Bonus Die when you make an Aim Risk using a long-barrelled musket, longbow, or crossbow.

Got It! (2pt) - Spend a Hero Point to immediately pick a lock, crack a safe, or disarm a trap.

Sorcery (2pt) - We'll deal with this a bit below.

Sorcery (2pt) - See above.

Survivalist (1pt) - If you are in the wilderness, you can forage or hunt and find enough food for yourself and up to five other people. Under extreme circumstances—lost in the middle of a desert, or abandoned in the Ussuran tundra, for example—you find enough food for yourself and up to two other people.

On top of this, we have 5 pts for more Advantages.

One of these advantages will be Poison Immunity, as part of her enchantment from Matuska. For another, and this is too funny, I'm taking Extended Family. She doesn't know that many people in her family, but they recognize her so frequently, she stumble upon a cousin or something that is glad to hear from family. For the last, I looked for an Advantage related to gambling but instead, I'm going to take Valiant Spirit so that she starts each game with 2 Hero Points instead of 1.

So now her Advantages look like the following:

Sniper (3pt) - You gain 1 Bonus Die when you make an Aim Risk using a long-barrelled musket, longbow, or crossbow.

Got It! (2pt) - Spend a Hero Point to immediately pick a lock, crack a safe, or disarm a trap.

Poison Immunity (2pts) - Poison never affects you, aside from some potential mild discomfort. If the poison would ordinarily kill you, it might cause you only to vomit instead, but there are no additional effects.

Sorcery (2pt) - We'll deal with this a bit below.

Sorcery (2pt) - See above.

Valiant Spirit (2pt) - You begin each game with 2 Hero Points instead of 1.

Extended Family (1pt for Ussurans) - Spend a Hero Point to reveal you have a distant cousin who lives nearby and can help you with materials, information, or shelter.

And let's get on towards her Sorcery. she has Dar Matushka where she was given powers as part of a lesson in proper behaviors. As long as she doesn't violate certain restrictions, she has several Gifts she can use, and this is where homebrewing comes in as I homebrewed several gifts based on the examples in the book. I'm looking at the powers I used for the first time I did this build and they fit well enough into this character, except for the one that I pulled from the pre-made Gifts, Command, so I'm replacing that with Purify as it better matches her story.

I'm going to assume that she got the second rank of sorcery after her village died and that's when she gained her ability to cure and purify poisons as well as be protected from them herself. Either she sought out Matushka herself again, or else her sorcery simply grew in response to the trauma.

Serpent Hair - Spend a Hero Point to transform your hair into serpents. The extra eyes and other senses give you a Free Raise on Notice Risks for the rest of the scene. (My Creation)

Petrifying Gaze - Spend a Hero Point to reduce an opponent's Raises that round by your Intimidate rank due to being temporarily paralyzed. (My Creation)

Curative Blood - Spend a Hero Point to transform your blood into an antidote for any poison. You suffer a Wound for each person you want to cure. If the poison is supernatural in nature, you suffer a Dramatic Wound. (My Creation)

Purify - You cleanse a room of toxins, poisons, diseases, and even dirt. The room is perfectly sterile after its use. Purify affects every surface, inside closed and locked drawers, and even affects food and drink. A potentially unfortunate side effect of this is that any alcohol in the room loses its potency.

Now, let's look at the old restrictions unfortunately, they were better fit to the older build's personality. One is to never complain about things, and the other is to never brag about your abilities. Neither of them are much of a challenge for this character. So, I'm going to choose new Restrictions that are actual challenges for this character.

Each of these has a Limit which, if broken, causes her to lose the use of her Gifts; and a Penance, which allows her to regain those powers.

Community

Limit: You must refuse involvement with festivals and ceremonies.

Penance: You must act to bring a community together to one purpose.

This goes toward her preference for living on the edges of community. Now, if she is asked to take part in a festival in a central manner, she can't say no without consequence. And if she does, then she will basically have to organize a successful festival or other event. This could include a successful defense of a village or the like. And yes, as someone who hates being sucked into crowds and parties, I vividly feel what I'm doing to this character.

Consideration

Limit: You must not ignore the risk of collateral damage.

Penance: Perform reparation to those harmed.

This goes towards her tendency to fixate on people. I did consider the idea of making sure that her target is the proper source of her trouble, but I've already said her greatest strength is patience, so it wouldn't be tackling one of her weaknesses. So instead, I've made it so that her magic is dependent on her making sure she doesn't cause harm by accident.

Step 6: Arcana

Next comes "Arcana" which is themed along the major arcana of the tarot deck but with it's own setting-unique cards. We pull for two features: a Virtue and a Hubris. There's two ways to do this, one is to do it randomly by drawing a card from the deck (if you have one available) or rolling dice (there's 20 Arcana so a d20 works) The other option is to choose two cards that fit what you want.

I'm going with the random version, using d20s since I don't have a 7th Sea Arcana deck.

For Virtue, I rolled a 12 which is the Coins, as in "coins for the ferryman". The virtue for this is Adaptable: Activate your Virtue to take your first Action before anyone else in a Round.

For Hubris, I rolled a 18 which is the Reunion. The hubris for this is Bitterness: You receive a Hero Point when you bring up old grudges or bad feelings when doing so will lead to trouble.

Step 7: Stories

At this point, we're going to form a character's starting Story. These are how advancement happens. An improvement is triggered by completing a story and that story will have a number of steps equal to the point value of the improvement desired.

The point values of different improvements are as follows:

For this, I'm going to go with a 4 point Story aiming to gain the Advantage "Legendary Trait" this will be towards Resolve.

The story will be the first step toward her seeking out the villain behind killing her village. And I'm going to create a name finally here, Galina Pásés Sergovich, meaing she is Galina, Sergei's younger daughter from the village of Pásés.

Story: The entire village of Pásés was poisoned with Galina the only survivor.

Ending: Galina learns why her village was targeted.

First Step: Find someone to analyze her sample of poisoned well water.

Step 8: Details

And now we wrap things up with final details and the like. First we choose a Reputation, a one-word description of how people think of you. In this case, I'm going with "Quiet".

Then we choose languages. We always have Old Theah and the native language: Ussuran in this case. And because our Wits is higher than 2, we get a bonus language for each point higher than 2 it is. In this case, one more language. I could go with the obvious and take Sarmatian which is nearby, but instead I'm going to choose Eisen.

Next comes Secret Societies... in this case, I'm going to say she's part of no secret society at the start of the game.

Starting Wealth is 0. It is assumed you earn enough to make a living, but Wealth is the ability to buy extra things. And as a starting character from a poor background, she has only the default.

For Wounds, she also has the default of 4 dramatic wounds and 16 regular wounds.

And the final character looks like this:

Galina Pásés Sergovich

Ussuran Hunter Touched by Matushka

Traits

Brawn: 2

Finesse: 3

Resolve: 3

Wits: 3

Panache: 2

Skills

Aim: 3

Athletics: 3

Empathy: 2

Hide: 1

Intimidate: 2

Notice: 3

Perform: 1

Ride: 1

Scholarship: 1

Tempt: 1

Theft: 1

Weaponry: 1

Advantages

Sniper (3pt) - You gain 1 Bonus Die when you make an Aim Risk using a long-barrelled musket, longbow, or crossbow.

Got It! (2pt) - Spend a Hero Point to immediately pick a lock, crack a safe, or disarm a trap.

Sorcery (2pt) - Dar Matushka, 2 Gifts, 1 Restriction

Valiant Spirit (2pt) - You begin each game with 2 Hero Points instead of 1.

Extended Family (1pt for Ussurans) - Spend a Hero Point to reveal you have a distant cousin who lives nearby and can help you with materials, information, or shelter.

Dar Matushka

Gifts

Serpent Hair - Spend a Hero Point to transform your hair into serpents. The extra eyes and other senses give you a Free Raise on Notice Risks for the rest of the scene. (My Creation)

Petrifying Gaze - Spend a Hero Point to reduce an opponent's Raises that round by your Intimidate rank due to being temporarily paralyzed. (My Creation)

Restrictions

Community

Limit: You must refuse involvement with festivals and ceremonies.

Penance: You must act to bring a community together to one purpose.

Consideration

Limit: You must not ignore the risk of collateral damage.

Penance: Perform reparation to those harmed.

Arcana

Virtue - Adaptable: Activate your Virtue to take your first Action before anyone else in a Round

Hubris - Bitterness: You receive a Hero Point when you bring up old grudges or bad feelings when doing so will lead to trouble.

Hero Story

Story: The entire village of Pásés was poisoned with Galina the only survivor.

Ending: Galina learns why her village was targeted.

First Step: Find someone to analyze her sample of poisoned well water.

Details

Languages: Old Theah, Ussuran, Eisen

Wealth: 0

#character creation #roleplaying games #tabletop roleplaying game #archer #gorgon #tabletop rpg #gorgon archer #ttrpg #gorgons #tabletop rpgs #7th sea

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theworldbrewery · 3 years

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ever done a mini-campaign?

When most of us think of a ttrpg campaign, it’s fair to say that long-form campaigns are the prototype. Playing with the same group of players in the same world, following multiple plotlines for a very. long. time. The iconic examples of The Adventure Zone Balance, Critical Role, and Rusty Quill Gaming span out-of-game years in the making. And plenty of folks hold those up as the ideal way to play the game.

Have you ever considered...not doing that?

A short-form ttrpg game might be for you and your friends if your schedules are tight; playing a one-off, single-session game may work better when you never know when you’ll have the chance to play again. Some ttrpgs are also simply designed for shorter gameplay, with natural breaks built in where you can end a campaign.

But at times, you still want the character arc, the delight of building character relationships, and the sense of growing tension across multiple “episodes.” Or maybe you prefer the D&D or Pathfinder system and don’t want to learn to play games that have shorter timelines built in.

Enter: the mini-campaign. Spanning anywhere from five to twenty sessions, it can last as long as you and your GM want. Examples include Dimension 20′s games, as well as the Exandria Unlimited series by Critical Role.

To run a mini-campaign, all the GM needs is a few simple elements.

A contained setting.

A problem endemic to the setting.

An antagonist involved in making the problem worse or better.

A defined end-point that will occur in the near-ish future.

For the first, just come up with a specific setting as normal, then have a pretext to keep the party from leaving for too long.

A simple setting could be a single town, sizable enough that the PCs don’t know literally everyone, and the pretext could be the PCs lack the resources to pay for travel. Or they have homes and family ties in town that they don’t want to leave behind.

More complicated settings could be a snowy mountain range where the PCs are stranded after a zeppelin crash, a tropical island resort where they are on vacation, or a polar research station. The world is truly your oyster here, and the more wildly specific your setting, the more wild the storyline can become.

For the second element, a problem endemic to the setting simply means that this place has a problem that is unique in some way. If I leave the tropical resort, the problem likely will not follow me. For example, the tropical island could have issues with their power grid that lead to frequent blackouts, ruining countless vacations. It’s important to understand that the problem doesn’t have to be this major, systemic issue like speciesism or climate change.

The third element, an antagonist involved somehow, means that either the antagonist wants to deliberately make the problem worse for their own gain, or who thinks they’re solving the problem but it has extremely bad consequences in another way.

In a polar research station setting where the problem is that they’ve lost contact with the outside world, one researcher might be trying to kill their coworkers, having accidentally made contact with a chthonic being from the Fantasy Arctic. The researcher thinks they’re saving the world by preventing the group from drilling any deeper and freeing the being--but it’s only chthonic madness encouraging the violence. In reality, the survivors are the world’s best chance at keeping the entity from rising.

In our tropical resort setting, perhaps a scheming tourist is trying to take advantage of the outages to revenge himself upon his annoying in-laws, frame the PCs for the murders, and sue the resort for emotional damages.

The fourth element makes this into a mini-campaign. The story has a win condition and a lose condition, and the campaign ends with one of those two options. In the tropical resort, catching the murderous tourist and clearing the PCs’ names is the end of the story--or failing to do so, and being arrested or murdered themselves. In the polar research station, either the PCs stop the rise of a chthonic entity or they don’t. Win and Lose.

Essentially, the whole campaign has a ticking clock attached to it. Waiting too long to act means the bomb goes off. Failing means the bomb goes off. And you can’t drag the story out for too long, because one way or another, that bomb has to be dealt with.

Final Notes:

A mini-campaign is best run at lower levels--anywhere from 3rd to 9th, in my opinion. Any higher and the PCs have too much power. Any lower and they’re functional disasters. I encourage a loose level-up structure based on milestone leveling rather than XP, since mini-campaigns don’t have the structure for several high-XP boss battles.

You can add additional plot threads and antagonists as much as you like, but keep in mind they will make your campaign longer accordingly.

Let the campaign be silly, or break out of the usual genre of swords-and-sorcery. Having a secondary genre, like a murder mystery or cosmic horror, can really make a mini-campaign stand out to your players.

You must run a session zero. This is nonnegotiable. The reason? You will need to establish the relationships between PCs before starting, or they will spend too long in the “getting to know you” phase. It’s also just more fun for your players to have established grudges, inside jokes, and so on. Additionally, since you will not be running a sandbox campaign here, you will need to be sure your PCs are buying in to the setting’s premise.

What I mean by that is, if the party is at a tropical resort, they most likely are there because they like tropical vacations (or got dragged along by someone who does). A PC who isn’t built for a world where they take tropical vacations, or who has no vested interest in enjoying their vacation, is unlikely to care about someone else ruining their vacation. Some things need to be established pre-game to make sure everyone is on the same page. I recommend you also discuss the genre: if it’s going to be a murder mystery, the players shouldn’t act like it’s a slash-and-burn total war environment, or what’s the entire point? Good players will respect the genre they’re told they’re playing in, and avoid being too genre-savvy or too genre-stupid.

#d&d #dnd #dungeons and dragons #pathfinder #ttrpgs #minicampaigns #dm tips #setting #conflict

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noctivaguz · 3 years

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dead by daylight silent killers with a easily scared S/O

warnings: stab, swearing, passing out/fainting, and i have never written before but got bored And decided to because why not, hope you enjoy.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙ - ✙』── ✦ ── ❖

The Shape (Michael Myers)

✙ starting the trial and looking around you realized two things: you are at Léry's Memorial Institute and you are alone. amazing.

✙ deciding to go straight to a generator, you started doing it while while on full alert, occasionally shivering at the crackling sounds. no matter how much time you've spent in this place, you'll never get used to this environment

✙ the silent was too loud, but just as you were thinking about leaving the generator, you hear a scream in the distance, presumably from Claudette, making you instantly relax a little knowing that the killer is far from you and busy with someone else

✙ but relaxing was a mistake

✙ almost finished with the generator, you think about the possibilities of who it could be, maybe it's the legion you thought, i'm not hearing any particular noise like throwing bottles,screams of rage, bell ringing, so maybe it is, but it could also be a- "HOLLY FUAAAAAAAAAA"

✙ it was Michael

✙ behind the mask he gets a bit confused, why are you screaming so much? he knows that this is normal because in a trial everyone gets scared, and seeing a killer silently watching you is not a pleasant sight, but you are more jumpy than everybody else

✙ so he has an idea

✙ and this idea involves a scratched mirror and an offering to Hawkins National Laboratory.

✙ and so the plan begins

✙ walking from gen to gen and passing through other survivors, he searches for a specific person only, you

✙ after a small time he finds you, and there you are, working on a generator looking behind you every two seconds like always, just turning your attention to the machine again when there is a skill check

✙ he can see your stressed expression, muttering something incomprehensible, that probably is complaints as to why anyone would put an offering for this map

✙ After a few seconds watching you, he decides to reveal himself, earning from you a scream that he's already got used to hearing, and started to walk after you, but then he stopped after a short time, making you confused, and looking behind seeing nothing you questioned what is he doing?

✙ you kept walking but when you turned a corner you bumped into him again making you scream one more time

✙ so he continued, chased you a bit, stopped, stalked you through the walls to see where you would go and jumpscare you again and again

✙ but then you passed out

✙ you just fell hard on the floor, not even screamed, Just shutted down

✙ noticing your lack of movement, he lifts your body and inspects your face, noticing your eyes closed and slack limbs, not moving even a inch

✙ is this….. normal? how did you faint? can't the entity like, prevent that? And talking about It, why isn't doing anything?

✙ not knowing what to do and a little frustrated, he decides to just throw your body near a hook and then starts chasing someone else, And when he is done killing everyone, he throws your still unconscious self into the Hatch

✙ if you feel bad after that he will Just think something between the lines of "stop being so scared", but after seeing you really upset he doesn't know how to comfort you, but will let you lay down on him to calm down If you want to and will try not to do that again

✙ key word try not to

✙ If you stay mad at him he will absolutely do it again

✙ anyway you never stopped using spine chill after that day

Ghost Face (Danny Johnson)

✙ you were just there quietly making your generator and when you look to the side there he is, only half of his head out, with the mask boring into your soul

✙ you made a sound so loud that even he got a little scared and then you ran away

✙ a tremendous asshole about it

✙ when he realizes how easily scared you are he gets t h r i l l e d

✙ he loves the survivors' feeling of fear and panic, but seeing yours? the best of them all

✙ will constantly scare you and look for different ways to give you a heart attack

✙ one day he even purposely stepped on a branch but out of your sight so you can be paranoid about noises but seeing nobody, and he heard you stop working on the gen and just saying a loud NO.

✙ but one day your body just couldn't take it and you passed out not so gracefully on the floor of the Yamaoka Estate

✙ he was stunned, so he crouched down and shook your shoulder

✙ "Y/N? Y/N!!!! oh my fucking god they fucking dead"

✙ so he did the most logical thing to do and took a picture on top of your passed out body and went in search of other survivors, but hey at least you got the hatch

✙ even knowing what might happen he will probably do it again (and he probably loved it) so better prepare spine chill

The Pig (Amanda Young)

✙ she of all the silent killers is the easiest to spot because of her jigsaw boxes scattered across the map, not counting her roar before attacking

✙ but even you sometimes get tired of being alert all the time and end up getting distracted

✙ she realized that you hadn't made any move to exit the generator so she knew you didn't detect her

✙ so the last thing you saw and heard before you stumbled out of the generator was a roar and a knife being stuck in your back, you didn't even have time to scream because of the stab giving you a sprint

✙ she finds It kind of funny when you scream but also too loud

✙ she's understandable and won't push your limits too much but will still do her job

✙ boop the snoot to get a free escape pass

✙ she's not much of the touchy time but after a tiring match, why not? So cuddles after the trial? cuddles after the trial.

The Wraith (Philip Ojomo)

✙ the first time it happened you got to see his silhouette, but even so it didn't stop you from getting scared, mainly because of the sound of the bell, you're absolutely sure that your body took a screenshot that day

✙ he is the most understandable of them all

✙ when he first realized how genuinely scared you were, he apologized, he doesn't like hurting you

✙ but you reassured him that it's okay, he is Just doing his job, besides, he at least still has a warning to start running so It is still something

✙ after your matches together you two sit by the fire and lie on each other

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙ - ✙』── ✦ ── ❖

if you read this far thank you very much you're a champ

#dead by daylight x reader #michael myers x reader #ghostface x reader #amanda young x reader #Philip Ojomo x reader #the Wraith x reader #danny Johnson x reader #dbd x reader #x reader

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wenellyb · 3 years

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Is Sambucky Canon or Not?

TL;DR: Yes, it is

I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV. Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:

My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business. Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all. For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.

What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.

What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.

And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things. I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.

I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there. I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky. In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.

Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.

After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it. What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)

So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:

- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky" - What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him. This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times. 2.

What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.

-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1) So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there. 3.

What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix

What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here. 4. What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance. -What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on. So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me. If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends. There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:

The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy

Bucky following Sam no matter what

Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"

Sam asking "what about Bucky?"

Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance

Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam

The boat repairing montage

Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch

The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.

And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...

These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.

Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:

Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral

Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.

So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.

It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.

I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.

If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.

Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.

But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?

If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense. "When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra" If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.

Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.

What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.

Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.

Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “ - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What else do you need???

This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)

We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic. I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this. I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story. Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!

If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers #Please feel free to comment on this and tell me what you think #I'm genuinely interested in having other POVs

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telomeke-bbs · 2 years

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BAD BUDDY EPISODE 5 – PRAN, PRAN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? MILLIONS OF SOULS ARE (STILL) STRANDED IN SHARDS ON A RANDOM BANGKOK ROOFTOP BECAUSE OF YOU

One question that always bothered me after Ep.5’s Epic Rooftop Kiss was – why did Pran break away sobbing and distance himself so drastically? After all, Pat was returning his feelings, and Pran reciprocated with a passionate kiss. So if both had already made their feelings known, the next logical step would have been couplehood, and wasn’t that what Pran wanted?

Upon re-watching, there are some clues that help explain Pran’s behaviour. We know that he grew up in a very protected, loving environment, behind defensive walls both physical and figurative. But when Pran’s mom found out he and Pat had been collaborating on the Christmas song contest in high school (Ep.2 [4/4] 7.25), she transferred him away to boarding school, ejecting him abruptly from the tranquillity of home.

That transfer had a significant impact on Pran. The Christmas songwriting process, friendly and without tension, had seen him opening up innocently to Pat (Ep.5 [3I4] 0.27).

Letting his guard down, Pran took the opportunity to express his secret feelings in the lyrics of the song (Ep.5 [3I4] 1.41). But when he was sent away, the lesson he learnt was to associate Pat’s proximity with heartbreak and anguish – this is why he states (twice): “Things don’t end well whenever I’m close to you” (at Ep.1 [4/4] 3.28 and Ep.2 [3I4] 9.03).

Having also learnt from his home life to mount defenses against dangers outside – Pran went on to erect even more barriers of his own. His way of dealing with emotions was to deny them externally and cloister himself within a seemingly perfect life, polished by his perfectionist tendencies. Within his walls, Pran only hinted at his feelings to the outside world, flagging his thoughts, emotions and states of mind using signs and symbols, like his smiley/frowny doorhanger (Ep.1 [4/4] 12.55) and sticky notes (Ep.1 [4/4] 11.37).

And just as he never let his emotions out – he never let anyone in, even though Pat’s kiss on the rooftop was clearly a knock on his door, begging for access.

Perhaps one of the strongest reasons for Pran’s refusal to accept Pat’s rooftop entreaty at face value was Pat’s self-declared romantic interest in Ink. Before realizing his love for Pran, Pat himself confessed that he liked Ink at Ep.4 [4/4] 14.48. And this was further reinforced by Pran directly witnessing Ink and Pat together, one-on-one, so many times (e.g., Ep.4 [3I4] 2.51, Ep.4 [3I4] 5.09, Ep.5 [1I4] 8.56, Ep.5 [2/4] 9.46).

Most importantly, the lesson Pran learnt from the Christmas song heartbreak – that he gets his feelings crushed whenever he gets close to Pat – was repeated in two other incidents, both involving Ink and Pat (and iced milk tea).

The first was in high school, when – giving in to his blossoming romantic feelings – Pran bought Pat iced milk tea (his favorite drink, confirmed at Ep.12 [4/4] 14.12) hoping to break the ice even more.

But his hopes were dashed when he saw Pat and Ink flirting affectionately instead at Ep.4 [2/4] 1.09, before he could even pass him the gift.

The second was the scene beginning at Ep.4 [1I4] 15.44 – touched by the loan of Pat’s own earphones, Pran sent him a little text message. Ostensibly a reminder, it was really more like a casual hello that you send to open up further communication. Pran was once again tentatively reaching out – but then Pat suddenly rushed out (having probably seen a message Ink had sent).

When Pran went to look for him – he saw Ink buying Pat’s favorite beverage for him at a café (Ep.4 [1I4] 16.56). As if that weren’t enough, Pat then twisted the dagger by quipping that his day, like his tea, was still sweet (despite Ink getting him the low-sugar option) – as though both had been sweetened by Ink’s presence.

The Christmas song lesson, hammered home twice, heavily imprinted on Pran that he would have no chance of coming between Ink and Pat – both times that he opened up to Pat, he got slapped with the message of their pairing, as clear a sign as any that getting closer to Pat would only end in heartbreak. And we KNOW how much store Pran sets by signs and symbols. 😢

Pran then goes on to acknowledge he understood this lesson in the clearest way possible. We know this because it came directly from his innermost self, expressed in authentic Pran-speak – in a sketch that he drew.

One of the ways Pran processes his thoughts and feelings is to sketch out representations of them and caption them. We see him doodling an angry face at Ep.3 [1I4] 1.12, expressing his frustration (probably from his bickering with Pat at Ep.2 [4/4] 12.54 😂). And in response to Pat’s gift of dumplings (at Ep.2 [1I4] 12.58, defined as an act of courtship at Ep.2 [2/4] 0.18) – Pran had sketched out and captioned at Ep.5 [1I4] 4.43: “I don’t know how to flirt. Can I give you dumplings instead?”. (This has significance for events later in Ep.6 – but more on that in another post. 😊)

So the next time we see Pran sketching out his feelings, we know we must believe him – and he does this in the scene beginning at Ep.5 [2/4] 8.41. After bunking over, having forgotten his keys yet AGAIN (perhaps in response to subconscious impulses), Pat had noticed that the condensed milk Pran is fond of squeezing on his morning toast (Ep.5 [1I4] 1.36) had run out. (It is condensed milk – confirmed by Nanon behind the scenes in the DVD Boxset. 😊) So he leaves Pran a little smiley-faced sticky note (just the sort of signalized communication that speaks to Pran’s heart) promising to get him a new tube – which he does, at Ep.5 [4/4] 5.56. Pat’s thoughtfulness moves Pran so much he is compelled to sketch the squeeze tube and Pat’s note with an oversized smiley (Ep.5 [4/4] 9.41), hopeful perhaps that this little gesture could be Pat telling him, in a way that speaks to him intimately, how all the affectionate playfulness of the previous days and weeks might be heading towards an actual romance.

And then Pran informs us in no uncertain terms that he sees this as impossible, wishful thinking, when he vehemently crosses out his sketch at Ep.5 [4/4] 9.58, after recalling how he saw Ink and Pat sharing a private (and apparently romantic) moment at the dessert café earlier (Ep.5 [2/4] 9.46).

But if Pat had kissed Pran so passionately on the rooftop, wasn’t that a clear enough indication that he had chosen Pran over Ink? Well, not from Pran’s POV, because unfortunately Pat had not always been consistent in his messaging. Pran is an expert reader of signs and symbols, and he could tell that Pat’s affectionate behaviour towards him was quite possibly a sign of romantic feelings, even while Pat himself – never self-aware, needing younger sister Pa as his emotional compass (Ep.5 [2/4] 1.34) – still thought the butterflies he sensed (Ep.5 [2/4] 0.31) were caused by Ink and was actively pursuing her instead. This mixed messaging, so confusing for neat and proper Pran, was also something Pat had done in several other instances.

Although there are many examples of Pat being kind, selfless and caring (one of the first was Pat creating a guitar pick in high school for Pran at Ep.3 [1I4] 3.24, the others are too many to list), there are also examples of Pat proffering friendship and intimacy, and then subverting the situation with some kind of backtrack or flipped re-framing of the narrative, sometimes even by issuing an in-your-face challenge (the latter probably from being conditioned by his dad not to show vulnerability). These include: returning Pran’s watch, then saying “…don’t talk to me in front of people” (Ep.1 [4/4] 10.21); laying himself quite bare (literally and figuratively – going shirtless at one point, then engaging in heartfelt conversation) when bunking over at Ep.4 [4/4] 10.43, before crushing Pran’s heart with a “chob” to confirm he liked Ink; applying medication to Pran’s injured shoulder at Ep.4 [3I4] 7.07, only to suggest he wanted Pran to recover so that they could compete directly in rugby; and returning Pran’s guitar (that he had saved), then saying “I just like to see your face… when you lose” (Ep.3 [4/4] 10.35). The last one causes Pran to smile ruefully at his watch at Ep.3 [4/4] 11.01 (the same watch Pat had salvaged and returned to him when they were kids), as though reminding himself to expect no more and no less from Pat. 🤷‍♂️

Pat even does this during the Christmas contest songwriting process (beginning Ep.5 [3I4] 0.53). When Pran says “Nothing happens at the beginning but without realizing it, their feelings…”, Pat jumps in eagerly with “Their feelings have changed”, raising Pran’s hopes at Ep.5 [3I4] 1.27, before reversing the direction with “And they become rivals” (!). Pran goes “Huh?” at Ep.5 [3I4] 1.31, but you can almost hear his rooftop “Shia, Pat!” (Ep.5 [4/4] 8.57) in his head. 🤣

So no wonder Pran said: “Pat, you’ve got to stop doing this to me. We are not a thing” at Ep.5 [4/4] 8.58. Exhausted by the push-and-pull, Pran had no faith in Pat’s constant, clueless signalling of romantic intentions, especially in the light of his clear-as-day messaging about Ink. When Pat – the big, bad puppywolf baying at the gate of his fortress – broke through Pran’s emotional walls and landed that first kiss, for Pran the moment was clouded by Pat having proven time and again that he was also capable of recanting any demonstration of affection. And when Pran, despite himself, gave in to the groundswell of his long pent-up emotions and returned Pat’s kiss, all of these jangling, jagged thoughts must have been crashing about in his head as well. So of course he pulled away – for in the end, that epic kiss was also an act of intimacy portending surefire heartbreak, most likely in the form of Pat leaving him for Ink (“Things don’t end well whenever I’m close to you”)…

[Afterpost Edit: For a closer look at Pran's state of mind – if he was pulling back from Pat and that kiss, where was he retreating TO really? – do check out the analysis and explanation here. And for the significance of Pran's dumpling sketch, you can read more here.😉]

#bad buddy analysis #telomeke #bad buddy kiss #patpran #bad buddy

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ruby-whistler · 3 years

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Why c!Dream should (and probably will be) redeemed

Hi! I’m bad with intros. You’ve read the title, so, let’s start with the definitions.

In this essay, we are considering the popularized definition of “redemption” instead of the classical one, which is, as per the Oxford Dictionary, “the act of saving or state of being saved from the power of evil; the act of redeeming.” That’s not however the way the word is used in fandom and media.

/dsmp /rp

The definition of redemption I’ll be working with in this essay is not forgiveness by the people who c!Dream has hurt, nor is it removing himself entirely from his past actions, but moreso the decision to change for the better and abandon destructive mindsets for himself and others.

A “redemption” in a narrative sense would be circumstances and a character arc that would allow that kind of healing and betterment.

I’d like to start this off by the fact that being “irredeemable”, in this sense, also doesn’t exist; redemption is a thing of conditions and choice, not of being allowed by someone else. You can’t gatekeep healing from people who seek it, just to be clear, and that even goes for people who have done terrible things.

Since I understand there is a lot of concern for c!Dream’s past actions, here is a post from people who are much more fit than me to speak on the matter, about the way in which they see a possible c!Dream redemption arc.

Another disclaimer, I am not going to be considering c!Dream only from the perspective of c!Tommy in this essay. c!Dream appears in other people’s perspectives and he himself has his own, unseen perspective. As a character, he is an individual person in his own right rather than just the antagonist of c!Tommy’s story, and so I do not have much concern for their narratives intertwining too much should this writing choice occur.

I’d also like to note that redemption is, in this sense, always a positive thing for everyone involved - someone who’s been prone to doing bad things in the past deciding not to do them anymore and try to change, or just simply heal enough to consider it, isn’t going to have a long-term negative effect in any of the characters, but rather the other way around. Healing is an unlimited resource, and the victims do not have to heal first for the person who hurt them to consider being better.

Here’s a well-written thread on Twitter that elaborates a bit to finish off this point, and let’s move on to actually talking about redemption in the context of the Dream SMP, and c!Dream specifically.

Why a c!Dream redemption arc is not only a good writing choice, but in this case the only good writing choice;

c!Dream, as we all know, has been subject to mental and physical abuse to the point of straight up torture by both c!Sam and c!Quackity (to different extents). He has been in indescribable amounts of suffering for the past 74 days at the time this essay will be published. That is six and something times the duration of the entire exile arc in canon.

Whatever the interpretation of his words in prison is, what is undeniable is first of all the fact his mental stability is absolutely crushed at this point, second that no human being could possibly ever deserve to undergo this, and third, his stay in the prison is showing off his humanity and making him out to be sympathetic.

Now, consider this; how would it feel if c!Tommy died at the end of the exile arc? Empty, there would be no catharsis to such an end, especially because of all of the hurt he’d gone through. Objectively, a bad writing choice.

Let’s compare, narratively of course, this situation to the prison arc. Even though I would never say one of them is “better” or “worse” than the other, since both are terrible and undeserved, c!Dream’s current state checks off all of the boxes that would make his death unsatisfying in the storyline; even if people want him gone, there would still be the dissatisfaction at the current build-up and why they even did it in the first place (it really wasn’t necessary to anyone else’s story to make him out as a victim, and yet they did) if they were planning to kill him off anyways. And since the prison arc is naturally meant to induce sympathy, even from an angst perspective it would simply not make sense within the themes and writing of the plot.

So, c!Dream can’t die, and he also can’t stay in the prison forever - the build-up must lead to something, which is logically a breakout. Great… what now?

Well, the Dream SMP prides itself in accurate representation of trauma and mental instability, specifically cc!Tommy and cc!Dream who have pulled it off incredibly during the exile arc.

Now, undoubtedly, after the prison, c!Dream is going to be just terribly traumatized- considering the writers’ past creative decisions, would it make sense for him to play the role of a dangerous, heartless villain in other people’s stories, while completely ignoring the logical fallout of what he’s been through?

In my mind, no. The most possible result is that cc!Dream is going to rightfully portray someone who’s been hurt so much he is broken, scared and tortured into submissions over months of agony and slowly stripping away of his agency, his dignity, his humanity. And that is… not going to be pretty, nor is he going to be in any way the same as before.

After everything, I’d be surprised if he can properly look at shears without shaking. That’s not villain behaviour, that’s the behaviour of someone who needs help.

Which leads me to another point, which is relatability. Believe me or not, there are people out there who heavily relate to c!Dream because they have been through things that allow them to see themselves in the character - abandonment, mental illness, etc. - or who have had destructive mindsets they have struggled to let go of in the past.

To them, as well as to the viewer, redeeming c!Dream could actually be a very good example, showcasing that anyone who has done bad things or has been hurt in the past can learn that it is possible to be better, to move on, to not be stuck in a loop but to actively seek help and then use that support to find the path to healing.

Making c!Dream a better person, who in a way, wins over his past, over his trauma, over the hurt he’s caused, and manages to actually get better… is inspiring, in a sense. It shows that you can abandon unhealthy mindsets, you can find a support group of people who care about you, you can make your life better simply by deciding to be better and then sticking to that, no matter how difficult the process.

This is why I believe that redeeming c!Dream would not be bad writing, but quite the opposite, and that the prison arc is an obvious set-up. Alright, but how does that work with the character? How could someone so widely hated mentally improve in such a seemingly violent and terrible environment? Would it even make sense within the context of c!Dream’s character so far? Well,

Why c!Dream has the capacity for healing and the Dream SMP the ability to provide it;

First of all, let’s remind ourselves that through c!Dream’s entire spiral he wasn’t ever directly given a chance to change. He was regarded as someone to defeat in order to accomplish a happy ending, or as someone who needed to be removed in order to achieve power on the SMP. Ever since the 16th, which is when the corruption of the character is the most obvious, there have been no attempts to reach out or to help him. I do not blame the characters for this - I am simply pointing out that since it has never happened before, we do not know how he would respond, and that, after everything he’s been through, any bit of kindness or compassion towards him will be a new concept he will have to learn to deal with somehow.

This point is especially driven home by the fact that both c!Quackity and c!Sam would often tell him he is a monster who deserves nothing but to suffer, and that what he’s going through is never going to amount to all the hurt he’s caused - basically removing any possibility for ever getting better (because by this logic, he doesn’t deserve support, and he doesn’t deserve to get better) from his line of sight.

He also hasn’t had a support system since shortly after the 16th, when his friends left him over c!George’s dethronement and made no effort to mend their relationship afterwards. c!Dream isn’t used to having allies and people on his side, but to being hated; again, wouldn’t that mean positive reinforcement could very well be all he needs to make the choice?

His bad mindsets - attachments are weakness, ends always justify the means, people will consider you a bad person no matter what you do - have been continuously proven right by his environment, even in prison. Any kind of subversion, plus an explanation as to why they are wrong, could be of great help to c!Dream.

Just another disclaimer; I do not believe c!Dream would change thanks to the treatment in prison, but rather despite it. His mental stability is non-existent at that point, and in order to get better he needs genuine emotional support from the people around him as well as to heal before he can redeem himself.

Alright, but… c!Dream has hurt a lot of people. Who would be fit to help him?

Let’s start off with the worst option and why it’s impossible the writers would even attempt this; c!Tommy.

c!Tommy has no responsibility to help or ever forgive c!Dream - not to say he could. The two, as it is, would drag each other down instead of helping in any capacity, and only make matters worse. The two of them shouldn’t even interact in the best case scenario - the best thing for both of them would be if they got enough healing and support individually that they could live around each other and not get their trauma or toxic habits triggered when interacting for whatever purpose of the plot.

So, if not c!Tommy (and c!Tubbo neither by extension), who could redeem c!Dream?

Well, he can’t do it on his own for sure. Being in nature with animals is nice, but further isolation from other people would merely help with the prison trauma, not with the state of his tendencies when interacting with others. He, once again, needs positive reinforcement from other people for him to heal properly.

There are two main options for this in my mind, and then there’s a few individuals he could also find comfort in, including people from both groups or those unaligned.

1) Kinoko Kingdom

From the people of this new country, c!Dream has never negatively interacted with c!Karl before, he has never hurt c!George and he hasn’t directly harmed c!Sapnap. Although the relationship with his old friend group could be difficult to rekindle, none of them have grudges against him that are too personal, and they have been canonically close friends since the beginning of the SMP, so it would be very much possible to rebuild burnt bridges. They’d be familiar, and with the addition of c!Karl they could be a good source of comfort for c!Dream after he either breaks out or is released from prison - just gotta convince c!Sapnap not to kill him first.

2) The Syndicate

From the Syndicate, c!Dream has never directly interacted with c!Nikki, and from what I know of her character she never seemed to be very affected by his actions - even doing his work for him when he was planning to burn down the L’Mantree. c!Techno is an ally who doesn’t have anything against him, and as for c!Ranboo, here is why I believe c!Dream being in the Syndicate could be positively influential on his character arc as well;

c!Ranboo and c!Philza have had a conversation about change, during which c!Ranboo made it clear he thinks everyone can change except for c!Dream; who, in his mind, is “too deep down the rabbit hole”. c!Philza replied that he thinks anyone can change if given enough time.

… you see what I’m getting at?

c!Dream has been implied to be an ally to c!Ranboo’s enderwalk state (or the state when he has access to his full memory), and hence would most likely not behave negatively towards him at all. While it might make it more difficult for c!Ranboo to deal with his own issues, it might also give him more motivation to get to the bottom of it as well, especially since he now has access to the person who, presumably, started this all. While this is going on, c!Dream would show himself in a much different light than c!Ranboo sees himin, which could lead to confusion, realization of the flaws in his own logic, and hence, positive character development.

Here’s a great post about why c!Techno as a character could be a great asset in c!Dream’s healing process & redemption, and why there is not much need to worry about him not knowing or finding out about c!Dream’s actions.

Of Kinoko Kingdom and the Syndicate, as far as I know, neither c!Tommy nor c!Tubbo have ever been directly involved with these groups, nor are they planning to.

Another important point to make is that, while c!Tommy needs to be kept away from c!Dream in order to heal properly, the same goes for c!Quackity and c!Sam in c!Dream’s case. While c!Quackity has high chances to interact with either Kinoko Kingdom or the Syndicate in the future, there’s an even higher chance, in that situation, that c!Dream would be offered protection, which is also important; there is no healing from trauma without the knowledge of safety, to some degree.

So, this was an essay as to why I think c!Dream’s recovery and redemption (one needs to come before the other, naturally) is not only extremely possible but also could be pulled off well and have a positive impact on both the characters, and the audience.

#dreblr #dream smp #c!dream #c!dream sympathetic #c!quackity neg #c!sam neg #dsmp analysis #tw torture #tw abuse #long post #i really should start writing longer essays #i need more material #anyways #hope y'all liked this #just joining the debate #:]

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beccascribbles · 3 years

Note

kita, kunimi, iwa, and kenji w a shy gf that comes to their games?

a/n - omg 'shy gf' kind of me though

you turned to face kita's grandmother, pulling at the hem of your sweatshirt. the day before, you had sat with his grandmother as she helped you embroider kita's name and number on the back, and inarizaki on the front. she reached over, taking your hand and giving it a small squeeze.

"he's really happy you decided to come," she explained, hand patting at your thigh as both your gazes turned to face the volleyball court, where inarizaki had just appeared. she recalled with a fond smile. “you should’ve seen him this morning, pacing around the house. i don’t think he’s been more excited for a game before. he told me to keep an eye on you. i’m sure he told you to look after me too.”

“yeah, he did,” you replied, glancing down briefly at your hands joined in your lap. when you glanced back upwards, kita’s gaze was focused on you, his hand raised in a wave. beside you, his grandmother was waving enthusiastically, beaming down at her grandson. hesitantly, you lifted your hand in response, a slight smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. you mouthed, “good luck.”

he nodded in thanks before turning around and shifting his attention back to the team. now that his back was to you, you couldn’t see the wide grin splitting his face. from your position in the stands, you couldn’t hear the teasing remark thrown his way by atsumu, or see the resulting flush that crept up kita’s cheeks.

as the game progressed, you found yourself getting lost in the excitement of it, leaning forward in your seat with mouth agape. you were so lost in what was happening on the court you didn’t notice the small looks kita kept shooting at you, the glances enough to reassure him that you were fine, coupled with the looks his grandmother would give him.

at the games conclusion, you stood from your seat, clapping loudly and grinning down at him proudly. it didn’t matter to you that he had only played for a small portion of the game. the result was the team’s win, and a testament to him as a captain.

“well done, kita,” you cheered, voice not loud enough to carry above the sound of the band. he read it on your face anyway, and, when he was able to reach his phone, messaged you telling you where to meet him.

you turned to his grandmother, offering her your hand. it was with her help that you navigated the crowds, the woman’s presence calming, a reminder that you weren’t alone. but, when you were about to arrive, she turned to you, her hand resting on your shoulder.

“i’m going to go outside to get some fresh air,” she said, smiling kindly at you. “come meet me when you’ve finished congratulating him.”

“wait,” you stammered, about to plead with her to stay, not welcoming the idea of suddenly being alone. you words were cut off when you flinched at the feel of somebody’s hand wrapping around yours.

“hey, calm down,” soothed kita, stepping into your line of sight. he began to rub the back of your hand with his thumb soothingly. “it’s just me.”

“shin,” you gasped, reaching forward and wrapping your arms around his waist. his own went around you in response, one hand cradling the back of your head. “you won! it was incredible.”

he let out a low laugh, letting his head drop slightly to rest against your own. he murmured into your hair, “thanks for coming.”

your hands clutch at the material of his jacket, holding tight as you calm your breathing. he has a couple more minutes until the team are meeting up, having arrived early so they could watch the game before their own. after receiving the text message from you though, he was quick to leave, slipping away before anyone could stop him.

realistically, he should have know he'd find you hovering outside the entrance, uncertain of whether you should enter or not. however, he is slightly surprised when you rush towards him, hands immediately clutching at his jacket as you press your head against his chest. he lets out a sigh, reaching up to pat your head, ruffling the hair there slightly.

"i should probably show you to the stands," he explains, looking down at you as he steps back, extending his hand. you take it, stepping in closer to press against his arm. he doesn't hate being this close to you, enjoys it really. he feels secure knowing that you trust him so completely to protect you. it's why he doesn't complain too much at the effort it takes to do so.

as you walk, him guiding you to a spot in the standards, you talk away to him, filling him in on your morning, the tv show you started watching last night. it shocked him at first, how open you were with him, how all your shyness seemed to disappear momentarily. it's a comforting feeling to know that you trust him this much, that you know you can open up to him. he nods along, letting you talking, occasionally interjecting if he feels the need to do so. the conversation puts you at ease, and you can almost forget that you will soon be sitting in the stands alone.

kunimi doesn't really acknowledge your sudden fear, moving to unzip his jacket and drape it over you shoulders, the smallest of smiles curling his lips. "now you look like a part of the team."

you look down at the ground, shifting your weight from foot to foot as you slide your arms into the material. it's warm and smells like kunimi, immediately putting you at ease. he knew it would, knew you would need something to make you feel more comfortable in this new environment.

"don't expect me to do anything too fancy," he says, brushing a quick kiss to your lips. hard to repress, a smirk pulls at your lips.

"i never do. now go out there and play well."

you hesitate, looking over at where iwaizumi is celebrating with his teammates. they've just won their quarter final match. they deserve to celebrate together, you reason, wrapping your arms around yourself. it would make sense that they wouldn't want you involved. you glance down at the teal and white sleeves of the jacket, wondering if you should go over there and return it to him. he should stay warm after a match, and you have your own coat. you'd only put on his jacket because he'd insisted, zipping it up for you and placing a kiss to your cheek - a little pre-game ritual that had begun the first game you attended as his girlfriend. after a little longer contemplating, you decide to just message him. it would be rude to impose.

"y/n!" calls the voice of your boyfriend, and your head jerks upwards just as his eyes find you in the crowd. you give him a small smile and gesture at him, telling him he should go with the team, that you'll be fine. iwaizumi simply rolls his eyes slightly, walking over to you and pulling you into a hug so tight it is nothing short of a miracle that your ribs weren't cracked. "i'm not leaving you, stupid. you're part of the team and shittykawa's paying."

"i don't know, haji," you say uncertainly, pulling at the jacket sleeves. you look over his shoulder to see them watching you, oikawa with a wide smile on his face, his arms slung over matsukawa's and hanamaki's shoulders. "it's a team thing and i don't know... won't it be weird?"

"weird?" he questions, cocking his head slightly. you nod at his question, but don't resist when he winds an arm around your waist and tugs you into him, beginning to walk towards the waiting third years. "don't be ridiculous. they're your friends, aren't they?"

the third years were. it would be very difficult to be iwaizumi's girlfriend without also being friends with the other third years. after all, oikawa had been particularly nosy, enlisting the help of hanamaki to spy on your first date (and a few more after that until iwaizumi had seen him and given him a solid punch to the gut).

"oikawa, makki and mattsun are," you sigh, casting a worried glance over at the second and first years hovering in the distance.

"then what's the problem?"

"i just..." his eyes followed your gaze and he nodded, seeming to understand. he looked over at oikawa, hand doing a subtle shooing motion as he cocked his head slightly towards the door. oikawa nodded in response, wheeling matsukawa and hanamaki around. he shouted out for the rest of the team to get going in the process, leaving you and iwaizumi alone in the corridor.

it was then iwaizumi turned to face you, hands going up to hold each side of your face. his eyes met yours, and he held your gaze steadily.

"you've got nothing to be nervous about," he reassured, pressing his forehead against yours. "they'll all really great guys and i'll be there with you. if it's too much for you, we'll leave, okay?"

you nodded in response, and a grin split his face as he reached down to grab your hand, fingers interlocking with your own.

"tch," futakuchi tutted, eyes immediately locating you. in fairness, it wasn't a very good place to hide. you were the one point of stillness in the bustling hallway, leaning up against the wall with your phone held in a death grip. something told him you weren't looking at anything of importance, and this was confirmed when he got closer to you and saw you had neglected to open any apps. he commented in a drawl, "if you're going to pretend to be on your phone, at least do a better job of it."

"shit," you cursed, spinning to face him, a hand resting on top of your chest, where your heart raced. "you scared the crap out of me."

“come on,” he said, holding his hand out to you. “the team are waiting for us. we’re watching the next game.”

you took his hand with reluctance, letting him begin guiding you towards where the team was waiting. sweat was collating on your palms, and you were certain futakuchi was aware of this fact, the slight purse of his lips a tell tale sign. it wasn’t that you didn’t like the team (most of them were great and made you feel at ease), it was that some of the players intimidated you, in particular a rather tall and excitable first year.

“kenji...” you breathed, tugging at his hand to indicate to him that you wanted to stop. he turned to you with a frustrated sigh, the irritation leaving his face as soon as his eyes fall on yours. you looked at him with trepidation, fingers tightening around his. “maybe i should watch somewhere else?”

for a moment, he stood there in silence, seeming to weigh up the best way to approach this. he had only been given permission by the coach to find you, not to sit in another place. he was also of the opinion that you should be pushed out of your comfort zone more to encourage you to gain confidence. he used his grip on your hand to steer you towards an empty alcove, only releasing you when you were firmly placed in front of him.

“you’re watching with me,” he stated firmly, hands reaching out to run down your sides, the motion soothing, “and i’m watching with the team. if it makes you feel better, i can put you between me and aone.”

you nodded slightly at that. it was a well known fact that aone was the person you were closest to on the team other than futakuchi. people often commented how odd it was that you two had a relationship, struggling to see how either of you had took the first step in communicating.

“you’ll be fine,” he reassured, leaning forward to place a kiss to your lips, hands tightening on your waist to pull you flush against him. your hands rested on his shoulders, fingers curling into the material there as you returned the kiss. he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. “it’ll be fine, okay?”

“okay,” you agreed, hands moving up from his shoulders to interlock behind his neck. his arms tightened around you, and you let your head drop to rest against his chest. “can we stay like this for a moment?”

“just let me know when you’re ready.”

you let out a hum in response, relaxing in his hold.

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reidyoulikeabook · 3 years

Text

Personal Google

4 times Spencer knows the answer, and the 1 time he doesn’t.

Summary: Spencer is your own personal Google. He always knows the answer to anything you ask him.

Warnings: Pining, slow burn-ish (?), reader and Spencer are both idiots who aren’t acknowledging their feelings for each other. Some mentions of a case and case-typical violence. No references to the gender of the reader!

Word count: 2k (this ran away from me)

A/N: Part two to this is here!

Requests: open!!

“Hey Spence?” You call, barely looking up from your phone as you scroll through Twitter, “What’s a hedgefund?”

“Are you reading about the GameStop stock?” He asks.

“Yeah.”

He clears his throat, and you look up at him, “Okay. A hedgefund is a way for accredited investors to invest in a way that minimises the risk to their own assets. Without getting too complicated, because it can get really convoluted, it’s basically just a way for rich people to get richer a lot of the time because a prerequisite for investing in the majority is having a high net income or a high net worth to begin with.”

You smile, “So basically rich people are getting screwed?”

“Something like that.”

“Good,” You respond, putting your phone away.

You swear you hear a little laugh escape his mouth as he turns back to the computer at his desk.

***

You’re sat on the jet, in your usual seat next to him, when everything starts to go pear-shaped. It jolts a little, sending you knocking into his side. You grimace.

“It’s just a little turbulence,” Hotch says, “Probably because of the storm coming from the East. We should be landing soon.”

Rationally, you realise there’s nothing to be afraid of. But it’s easier said than done to keep rational when the plane’s rattling like a pack of smarties and your head is bashing against Spencer’s bony shoulder every five seconds.

He senses your unease, tentatively reaching across to take hold of your hand. His instinct is to supply statistics about plane crashes but something in him tells him you won’t respond too well if he tells you the odds of getting in a small plane crash are higher than a regular commercial flight but still lower than the chances of being involved in a motor vehicle accident. Instead, he chooses a different tactic.

“It’ll be alright, we’ve been in the air for two hours and,” He squints at his watch, “Forty-three minutes. This flight’s two hours fifty-eight tops.”

You nod, “Hey Spence?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember this morning when you were telling me about the French dancing plague and we got interrupted by the call about the case?”

You don’t have to say anything more, he immediately launches into a spiel about France in 1615: the death of crops, how the people felt they were being spited by God, the whole thing. He gestures wildly with his free hand, but the hand that lies atop of yours doesn’t budge an inch. You rub small circles on it with your thumb, which goes unacknowledged. Privately, you’re a little disappointed. Privately, he’s afraid you’ll stop if he points it out.

***

It’s been a long and fruitless day. The local PD had been worse than useless, they were so reluctant to accept that anybody from their town could possibly have been responsible for what was going on that it felt like a constant battle to get anything done. You’d been out interviewing possible witnesses from the local bar. Well, trying to, you would have been a lot more successful if the Sheriff hadn’t constantly been under your feet, undermining your questions and generally resulting in making you look like an idiot.

Hotch had chewed him out in the end, relinquishing you from interview duty to help Spencer with the geographical profile back at the station. He’s scribbling away on the map while you slump in the chair, a little defeated.

“Hey Spence?”

“Hmm?” He hums in response, not taking his eyes off the section he’s just crossed out.

“How come you’re ruling out that side of town?”

He flips the whiteboard pen in his hands, returning its cap before turning around to you, “A lot of the area over there is industrial. I’ve been combing through to get a closer look, but it doesn’t look like our unsub would have the kind of privacy he needs. There are a lot of factories, granted, but they’re pretty much all occupied. He’s meticulous, I don’t think he’d take the risk of working in an environment where he couldn’t control anything and risking getting himself caught. And from what we know about him he certainly isn’t affluent enough to rent property on that side of town. Rent is almost three times as expensive there,” he gestures with his hands, tapping the lid of the pen on the area he means, “I think he’s more likely to be from the northmost part of town.”

You smile, “I don’t know how you do that.”

He opens his mouth to respond before seeing the softness in your eyes, realising you’re not asking for an explanation. You’re giving him a compliment. His chest feels a little warm.

***

You can’t sleep that night, despite how exhausting your day has been. You’d think the physical and mental exhertion would knock you out but instead you’re sat on your bed, idly flipping through TV channels. Not much is on except some old NCIS re-runs, and oddly enough you don’t feel like watching a crime show.

You could text Spencer. The thought appears in your head of its own accord, without your consent.

You could though.

10:12pm - You

You’d think after a day like today I’d be able to get some rest

10:13pm - Spencer

You can’t sleep?

10:13pm - You

No, sorry, I didn’t think you’d be asleep

10:14pm - Spencer

I can’t sleep either, don’t worry. Do you want to come over to my room? I have a documentary about Pearl Harbour I was going to watch

10:14pm - Spencer

Or we could do something else. Not sure if Pearl Harbour is more fun for you than struggling to fall asleep

10:15pm - You

A Pearl Harbour documentary sounds great

Thankfully you’d had the forethought to bring nice sleeping attire rather than your old ratty ones. You’d learnt your lesson before, when your presence had been required in the middle of the night and you’d had to scramble down to team meetings in pyjama bottoms that had a hole in the right thigh.

You take a quick look at yourself in the mirror, some anxiety fluttering in your stomach for some reason.

It’s odd. It’s hardly the first time you’ve been over to Spencer’s room for crying out loud, I mean he’s the person you’re closest to on the team and your best friend and your private yearning for him is mostly inconsequential. Mostly. Except you fix your hair and smooth down your top a little anyway.

He’s only three doors down and it’s easy enough to slip quietly into his room. He sits on the bed, two glasses of water resting on the bedside table, his laptop resting by his knees. He’s illuminated by the bedside lamp next to him, and his hair looks fluffy as hell. No doubt from him running his own hands through it in frustration today. He smiles at you, patting the space next to him.

You pad across and join him, “Hey Spence.”

“Hi.”

His laptop isn’t particularly loud, and the screen isn’t very big, so you end up sat quite close to him. The laptop rests on his lap. You hesitate before nuzzling in against him, feeling how his breath catches in his chest as your head rests against his on the bedframe.

“Is this okay?” You ask.

“Yeah,” He answers, a small content smile playing on his lips, “Yeah this is okay.”

***

You’re not sure when or how you fell asleep but you wake up with a start to the sound of pounding on the door. And you’re not in your own bed. You briefly acknowledge the warmth next to you before it’s gone, Spencer leaping out of bed to answer the door.

“We’ve been-” Emily stands in the doorway, the bedroom lamp that you must have neglected to turn off allowing her to catch a glimpse of your dazed face, “Reid, why is ____ in your room?”

Spencer opens his mouth, flustered and unsure of what to say, floundering between looking at you both for a moment before Emily rescues him. The digital clock obnoxiously blinks the time: 2:18am.

“Okay we’re definitely talking about this later but there’s another body, Hotch wants us all down at the station in 15.”

It occurs to you, as you rush embarassed from Spencer’s room, apologising to him at least five times on your way out, that the only thing standing between you and a million questions about your personal life is the focus on an unsub who you’ll hopefully catch today. You shrug your clothes over your head, replacing them with fresh ones and pulling on your shoes. The jet home is going to be fun.

—-

You were right to be hopeful about today. The unsub is tracked down and arrested by the time night comes around. His arrest is clean, no hostages and no shots fired. Really, in your line of work, it was the best possible outcome.

Hotch made the call that you’d spend another night here, since there was paperwork that’d need to be taken care of in the morning and some final loose ends that required wrapping up. You suspected some small part of it was because J.J wanted to ensure you made nice and left things on good terms with the local PD before you left, since there’d been a lot of headbutting throughout the case. Spencer had also been completely right about the geographical profile, the unsub had been working and killing from a rundown ramshackle house in the northmost suburb.

Speaking of Spencer, you’d barely acknowledged each other since this morning. Sure, you’d shared rooms together before, even beds when the occasion had called for it, but you’d never been so intimate before.

Maybe it was best for you both if you just ignored the whole thing entirely, carried on as normal. Yeah. Yeah that’s what you’d do.

You worried about the meaning of anything you said being lost over text so you headed to his room, knocking on his door. It brought a small smile to your face to think how you’d been on the other side of it the last time someone knocked.

He opens it, just slightly, before relaxing when he sees it’s you, “Hey.”

“Hi,” You step past him into the room, watching him close the door and take a step towards you.

He waits for you to speak.

“So. We never finished that documentary.”

He laughs, soft, “We didn’t.”

“Do you want to finish it now?”

“Uh…” He visibly pauses and you feel a small twinge in your chest. Maybe you’d made him uncomfortable, maybe you’d misread the whole thing, maybe you’d...

He interrupts your self-deprecating runaway train of thoughts with a simple, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

As you settle down to watch the film, his laptop situated firmly in the middle of the bed this time, you feel the gulf between you. Empty space where his leg rested against yours yesterday. Still, that was what he wanted, right? His own space. Not to talk about it.

You don’t notice because you’re watching the documentary, but Spencer has to stop himself from reaching his arm out for you when he stretches. You didn’t want to talk about it, obviously. Meaning you probably wished it hadn’t happened. He tried to ignore the ache in his chest at that thought, the hollow feeling it left. Thankfully it wasn’t too long before you spoke again.

“Hey Spence?”

“Yeah?”

“Is this historically accurate?”

And explaining the nuances of Japanese-American history is much easier for him.

#spencer reid fanfic #imagine spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #imagine criminal minds #criminal minds x you #bau!reader

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lilmajorshawty · 4 years

Text

The Signs Vs The Houses Sun Edition 🎇

Sun In Aries Vs Sun In First House:

(Pantheon God Ares Vs Lucifer Morning Star.)

Sun in Aries: Pantheon God Ares

Song: _By. Alexander - Trumpets Ft 070Shake

These Natives don’t readily showcase their independent traits outright but their intensity is actively expressed in different ways from one another almost like reverse parts of a long mirror. Sun in Aries natives are actively nonchalant, impartial and seemingly low energy to those who don’t know their outward appearance is merely a facade. Aries suns aren’t readily expresses of their more generic traits, their impulsive nature is often hidden underneath their calm demeanor. unlike sun in the 1st housers Aries suns are good at playing into a more watered down version of themselves if it serves to aid the type of reaction they will get from the audience of their choice. They much like Pisces can be deceptively charming, disarming and tremendously jovial but underneath this lay a impulsive, reactive and swift minded individual. Aries suns are more observant than they are open warfare types, meaning that their darker side is something revealed in quiet privacy. They are in actuality very polite and keep much of their outward passions in check as to not alert others of their intentions before the Aries sun native has already assessed the consequences their potential action might bring. They are tactitions in nature much like the war god ares, much of their actions are weighed and planned. much is done in secrecy or in the safety net of a desired outcome for them. They naturally seem disinterested or bored by their surroundings but can also have a testy, or rather flighty energy around being in spaces for longer than they intended. Their frigidity nature is a reflection of mars needing to be in control but the rather prideful way of the sun itself not liking to seem overly brash in order to seem regal. in this sense the sun and mars are in conflict for sun in Aries so they in turn prefer to keep their shadow face a bit more slow burn than people can perceive it to be. Aries suns are sweet and ardent but they can sometimes struggle with telling the truth, unlike their moon counterpart. Aries sun in a more masculine spirit Tends to be the most immature with their desires, mainly being self invested. Aries sun in feminine spirit tends to be most immature with their sexuality, readily wanting to claim the sexual limelight due to their appetite for admiration. on two sides of the coin underdeveloped Aries suns within masculine energy can struggle to see the world beyond “their” needs and “their” wants, the feminine can struggle to separate their over identification with physical gratification making them seem jealous and gluttonous for attention to those looking from the outside in.They are passionate but narcissistic. They care about those closest to them but they also battle between love for others and love for the self. Aries suns are in a never ending battle with the concept of I and how the I relates to Others. Aries sun signs definitely live by the “apart of my tribe” mentality and usually have a hard time dealing with outsiders. That being said they are a thousand times more tame then most give them credit for and only those who have been around the natives for long can ever really see their darker nature that they prefer to keep under raps. Aries suns are very loving nonetheless and dare i say the most emotionally affectionate of the fire suns. They genuinely do try for those they carefor and they honestly live by a strong code of right or wrong. despite what they might want they always recognize whether or not the action they plan on committing is morally correct or morally incorrect.

Sun in the First house: Lucifer Morningstar

Song: _By.Alexander - Stalling

Sun in the 1st Housers are quite different in terms of their immediate personality traits, because unlike Aries suns they are not under the space of just mars depending on what their sun sign is already in. rather they are swimming in the pool of mars while wearing their sun sign. Sun in the 1st house natives can be Intense, cynical, Dark and brooding. They have this perceptiveness about the world around them that can seem unnerving. People are in their eyes to comfortable with stillness and it bothers them, as they are mentally just as much as physically always moving, 100 steps ahead of everyone. To many this may seem like a blessing but it’s a curse for these natives as it creates a constant inner and outer need for chaos in some way. They want to maintain a certain level of opposition and transformation in themselves and in the environments they find themselves in. For them things could always be rearranged and redone and the more stagnant the view things the more unhappy they become as they see peace as a reflection of “lack” in themselves. in those with a masculine spirit sun in the 1st house can make them impatient, aggressive, aloof and cold in its worst but brave, perceptive, kind and generous in its healthy state. In those with feminine spirit it can make them cutthroat, rigid, blinded by the self and confrontational in its worst but vibrant, childlike, bold, and sharp of mind in its healthier state. Unlike sun in Aries these natives aren't impressed or worried about how they interact with others. These natives can seem dismissive or uninterested in people mainly because they are only impressed by people with “strength” in the manner of which they perceive strength to look like. much like Lucifer these natives live in the dark and admire those who have suffered or experienced the trenches of life only to rise from its ashes without a single complaint. to them people who can fight without seeking coddling or attention for those struggles are attractive and relatable. people who are attention seekers, overly emotional or dependent are typically what these natives avoid or tend to be the coldest towards. The reason being is that these natives underneath their cold and rather independent face are deeply sensitive and receptive to the feelings of others, but when they were young this receptiveness was often taken advantage of by the world around them. people ate these natives up and forced them to build their own personal hell to build themselves in, because in their eyes the only hell scarier then the one someone makes for you is the one you make for yourself. These natives are ambitious but also deeply full of life and vigor but to those who don’t know them deeper you may never know that beneath this light lay very serious and steady individuals willing to do whatever it takes to survive. these natives are constantly interchanging between Life and Death.

Sun In Taurus Vs Sun In The Second House:

(Artemis vs Higher Angel Metatron.)

Sun in Taurus: Artemis

Song: Ama Lou - Wires

sun in Taurus natives often represented by the bull are deserving of their steady and rather slow moving personality traits..Though in conjunction one might add in their mental gymnastics that put even the mighty Aquarius, Gemini, Libra Air trinity to shame. These natives are tremendously intellectual, they see and feel everything out just as much as they add a thick layer of rationality and logic to it. To them anything and everything can go wrong and most likely is so they tend to present themselves in a more compartmentalized way as to prevent this. on one hand they are solid and sensual in their approach to life, on the other they are distrusting and closed to outsiders. they value a certain level of work ethic in others and that is typically what softens their heart as opposed to be overly nice or suckups. they tend to be intense and insatiable but these traits are hidden underneath their polite and soft toned Venus haze. For Taurus, Venus serves merely as a cloudy ethereal presence rather than a solid body like it does for Libras which is genuinely why the two are so similar yet so deeply different. Taurus suns value a calm serenity but they value an authentic air to cultivate such serenity whereas Libras value the serenity that is without to much heaviness or demand. Taurus suns are naturally stable and patient folk, not much moves them out of character and once it does all of the magma and debris flies into the sky like radiating solar flares. These natives are insanely aware of themselves and the actions and motives of said actions of others. to them intimacy through the physical realm is the only real way to see someone and in a sense for them touch is their language. these natives are lovers of sex but contrary to belief Taurus suns just like Scorpio sun see sex a soul transaction rather than just “sex.” to them being able to meet every individual layer of a person beyond what they present is true understanding. Scorpios suns look to sex as a emotional collaboration of wounds and vulnerabilities whilst Taurus suns on the yang side of that spectrum look at sex as a Physical collaboration of involved and aware relinquishing of the self in its physical form to another. For Taurus suns they find themselves trapped between the concept of “what do they mean to me vs what do i mean to them.” this mentality often creates a emotional nature that causes them pain in life as they never really know when to let go of people, they hold onto people out of a fear of losing something important to them on a mentally materialistic plane. The men tend to handle the Taurus sun the worst as it often brings out a vain and rather expansive nature that is centered around using their possessions as lay way for their self worth. to them in their worse state their material possessions and their bodies become nothing more than tokens to scale their level of self worth which they ultimately base in the opinions of complete strangers. Taurus women/feminine energy folk tend to handle the energy well, mainly embracing their sensuality and sexuality although sometimes falling prey to their bullheaded and rather single minded advances towards life at times. in their best they can be captivating, preserving, and deeply empathetic of the woes and demons of others taking them on fearlessly. Taurus suns greatest foe as well as their biggest give away is their single-minded nature, once something catches their eye it becomes a mission, a life purpose and at times an obsession.

Sun In the Second House: Higher Angel Metatron

song: Ama Lou- This Town

For second house sun natives their similarities can often times shadow them after Taurus mainly due to the very calm and rather steady disposition they naturally posses. That being said much like the angel metatron as mentioned in text they have a far more raw energy that ensnares people to them like a spider web. They often times maintain a cool distance emotionally from those around them as to never reveal their inner thoughts but this at times gives them a much darker shade then Taurus suns as they are not as nearly well meaning in their observations of others. these natives are insanely perceptive but they tend to use this perceptiveness to read the crowd so to speak. many of us may struggle to adapt to every personality in the room or shift personas as a means of getting from point A to B in an unwanted interaction where as Second house sun natives can shift personas as will due to their gift for micro analysis. They can read a room, the people and the energy of each individual from mere glances and that makes them incredibly charming but also a tad unreadable as much of what they are showing is far away from what they truly feel. These natives are powerful in the sense that they have a vision that Taurus suns are themselves afraid to truly use. You see second house suns are often in control of their environment because they alter themselves in the necessary form needed to gain the upper hand.Many of them do well in performance art like acting because it allows them to convey their inner world without letting on its source. They often times shy away from commitments as they require the natives to be the real self vs the self they cultivate. Unlike Taurus suns who operate authentically these natives operate in a way that fits the authentic need of the people without having to give up any of their real ego. These natives also aren’t as caught up in the materialistic side of life rather they are obsessed with their self esteem and how that self esteem is equated in the real world around them. For them their biggest fear is being misused or taken advantage of and very often so life puts them in a situation where this happens to teach them a level of boundaries between themselves and that of the people who surround them. They tend to be highly passive when it comes to loss in their life. they factor the loss of people whether by death or by them leaving one another’s life as just another one of the misfortunes of the world, in their eyes it can’t be avoided and is an eventuality but even so they must continue to move forward with or without others. This trait alone separates them from their Taurus sun counterparts. They value people who are gentle and preserving but these people albeit their perfect match tend to scare sun in the second house natives the most as the idea of someone who will love them fully disgust them in a way, mainly because deep down these natives don’t truly identify with their need to be accepted and loved because it is devoured by their need to move forward at all cost. these natives teeter between the collective vs the self and often find themselves inevitably choosing the self yet resenting the loneliness that follows suite

Sun In Gemini Vs Sun In The Third House:

(The Devil Vs Satan)

Sun In Gemini: The Devil

Song: Kendrick Lamar - U

These Natives often receive much bad mouthing and malice as their traits are normally misunderstood or mis-identified as Gemini itself being a mutable sign makes it a sign that mirrors energy that is given to it onto the person sending the energy. Gemini Suns on their own are outwardly controlled and restless but internally they are a landscape of thoughts, that multiply and divide like the cells in the human body. They are like compact computers in this sense because their mental scape at times is carrying Gigabytes upon gigabytes of thought process.They are living in a busy head-space often so much of their day to day involves them tussling with their voices and which side to listen to, which one to ignore, which to dive into and so on. This is often why these natives Live for interaction and communication, the less mental release the darker the head-space and the darker the head-space the more dangerous the Gemini. The lack of stimulation can present itself as addictions, self destructive behavior and outright hatred that seems to have no source. these natives more than most feed of human contact, it provides them a way to see beyond their mind and peer into another’s for a moment of relief. Gemini suns are very tender and affectionate, often loving physical sensations as they bring new understandings and mental curiosity to the native. they often adore sex but not for the act itself but for the many sides of sex, the control, the lack of it, the passion and the lack of it, the intimacy and the lack of it, the desire and also the lack of it, to these natives they all swirl around like aspects of a cocktail. lying and creating chaos is an aspect of their two headed serpent like nature but often times the shadow self of the Gemini is the most damaged version of themselves hidden away to maintain a level of sanity for the Gemini twin in charge. Gemini sun tend to have this dualistic side to them that can sometimes present itself as real bipolar disorder but this is not something that can be applied to realism as all astrology really is, is a map for better self understanding. These natives at times fluctuate between moments of peace and moments of chaos depending on which twin makes it’s appearance. Much like the Devil these natives can carry a sharp and mischievous tone but they can also have an angelic and rather childish youth to them that is so promising and inviting like white wine underneath dying autumn leaves as summer turns to fall. They represent a deep darkness in humanity whilst also representing the angel the devil was before he fell out of grace. Gemini suns are radiating with knowledge and tid bits that could unsettle the world but they never read the whole story, the whole scripture, they hang on to the small details and create a world around it. Gemini suns tend to struggle in their early years due to the push and pull dynamic of the angel and demon complex and at times a state of passivity is reached where they could care less either way how and what is effected by their actions. These natives despite their struggles are enterprising and gifted with an intellect beyond comprehension. They masculine and feminine energy tend to struggle with this placement as it naturally represents both in both energies. much like the devil they have a rather gender less energy when it comes to the world around them which is often why many Gemini suns are bisexual or pansexual as their desires are often times less about the physical and more about the mental. they can seem to be a chameleon due to how easily they can shift in and out of personalities but ultimately they aren’t so much so becoming someone else, they’re becoming the other twin. The secondary Gemini face is unlike the devil it is angelic and curious, innocent and loving but it’s pitfall is wrath and spite. As im sure these are traits you would apply to the devil no? well in this case the angelic Gemini twin wears them as a means of not handling their wounds properly. Gemini suns unlike most people put their hurt away by passing it on to the other twin who soaks it like a sponge, as a result over the years whenever the twin rears it’s head and is mistreated as a defense mechanism it reacts in these darker toned ways that can at times be devoid of humanity due to that twin being so lacking in interaction with people. Gemini suns often struggle with the inner and outer mind. for them they desperately search for a mental release of some form and often times it takes precedence over all things no matter how grounded the Gemini Sun. a never ending therapy session full of broadness and intellectual depth is their dream as in their most vulnerable state they desperately want to be seen, not just as one face but both faces.

Sun In the Third House: Satan

Song: Kendrick Lamar- Untitled 07(Levitate)

These natives can only be described as isolated princesses & Prince solemnly watching the world circle around their creations and crafts like moths to a flame. They are so vastly different from their counterparts in the sense that for them the world is more like a game then it is a cage. They are savvy, quick of wit and naturally street smart. Many of them prance through the world as if they’ve lived in the projects, the ghetto, or the slums as it is what allows them to use the more scarce methods, having very little and even in some cases building from ash and managing to create whole empires in the place of it. To them the concept of “lack” fuels their desire to expand the concept of having nothing. To them the world is built upon fallacies and they wish to unsheathe them by playing into the role of the underdog, the follower or the easy going lover and friend until they ultimately get to the place they had been dying to reach only to sever ties, turn on, vilify or in some cases tear down those who helped them get there. Now to many of you this may sound like an evil way to get by in the world but you must understand unlike Gemini suns these natives don’t live solely in the mind rather they live in the minds of others, to them their life’s purpose is understanding the patterns and desires of others so they themselves can mold themselves into those desires, so they can predict those patterns..all of it is like chess. For them to have the higher ground on the world at large plays into their need to remain ambiguous and Elite. The masculine and feminine much Like Gemini sun present themselves as the gender or energy type that suites them at the moment. You need them to be passive? they already closed their mouth and you haven’t released you already called all the shots..you want them to be passionate and aggressive, they’ve already controlled the day, they’ve changed the way they grip you, the way they lock eyes with you..these natives can be anything, anyone..because for them the art of playing to an illusion is a survival tactic one the learn at an early age to cultivate otherwise the world will defeat them and that is something they just cannot allow much like the concept of the world peaks Satan curiosity he must constantly venture, among the people to understand them as a means of never losing, never falling short or missing a step at watching the creations of the man he despises so dearly evolve. These natives are alluring, sweet, loving but in many ways they can seem missing, far away and sometimes unavailable both emotionally and physically. the reason being is that unlike Gemini suns these natives do not need to be heard, they need to be ahead and once they feel tied or held down by something they’ve already fleshed out and had their time with their restless need to be ahead comes out and they soon gravitate their focus elsewhere. Their constantly at war with the concept of Do i understand it all vs do i understand enough at all?

Sun In Cancer Vs Sun In The Fourth House:

(Arch Angel Gabriel Vs The Deity Tsukuyomi)

Sun In Cancer: Arch Angel Gabriel

Song: Daughter - Amsterdam

These natives contrary to belief are not as lacking in emotional awareness nor are they as gullible as other might like to believe them to be. One of the most frightening traits of cancer Sun’s is their ability to emotionally detach from people and situations in a rather abrupt manner. These natives are emotive but in some ways the emotions aren’t always backing the action. Cancer suns fall into the behavior of sometimes being nice for being nice’s sake and often times care more about the feelings of others than they do themselves. In more underdeveloped masculine energies this can rear it’s head as emotional narcissism, thinking the whole room revolves around their feelings and their feelings only, leaving everyone else to have to play pick up the pieces for someone who refuses to take accountability. in some of the even lesser versions this can cause manipulation of the emotional variety, using someones vulnerability as a weapon are sometimes tactics of masculine energy cancers and Feminine energy cancers who failed to acknowledge the skeletons in their own closet. Cancer suns often remind me of Gabriel in the sense that they carry his will of doing what is needed rather than what is wanted. Cancer Suns understand the difference between need and want and often times center their life around such inclinations. To them everyone no matter where they come from desires things they don’t truly need and fortify things they want only for a moment. As a result cancer suns tend to prioritize people, things and places under the laws of what they need and what they want and often times they can turn a cold shoulder to the things they feel are momentary even if it’s a person. Cancer Suns can be powerful, enigmatic and divinely feminine no matter their gender due to their inner desire to nurture and care for others, no matter how underdeveloped or developed these natives are the desire to protect and care for others is their base setting. Many as they age become more and more like their mother, often adopting the qualities they admired most and showcasing the negative ones when under stress or moments of trauma. These natives are deeply loving and caring and at times this gets taken advantage of but only briefly as Cancer suns are almost Demonically vindictive. The natives see colors on people and tend to be highly spiritually perceptive of auras and presence within people without even exchanging words. They tend to be closed when it comes to their feelings and contrary to social media cancer Suns do not express their inner feelings readily, much like a crab they withhold and protect their underbelly often coming towards things in a side to side manner much like a crab Even more so when they are a Cancer Rising. They tend to only really open their souls to those precious to them and often times when Cancer Sun’s feel they’ve over shared they retreat and often times disappear unless reassured that the person is kind and honest. Cancer Suns despise fakes and those who are emotionally careless and rude so often times they can become dismissive and down right aggressive in an almost warrior like way when confronted by rudeness or self centered behavior. Cancer Suns have a pronounced sexuality, as they represent femininity in it’s motherly form they often embody it’s glow and sway whilst remaining Innocent and seemingly unknowing. Cancer Sun’s often become more balanced as they age as many of them see their progressed sun move into Leo which aids with the confidence and the ability to balance out their darker head spaces that arise emotionally. They can have Strong emotions and because of this in some cases some people with this placement can struggle with such things such as depression and and or manic depression, that being said this is not a product of having sun in cancer, this can happen to anyone. Cancer Suns do have fluctuating emotional states that can fly between happy weeks and months to times of solemn and lethargic states and this is often more so seen in all cancer Suns no matter whether they are in a good place or bad. the key for them is to learn identification so that way they can deal with the emotion when it comes and let it run it’s course without submerging themselves in it. Cancer suns often battle with the concept of Nurture Vs Nature. To them they feel as if it’s their divine purpose to care for others, and they feel like people should be caring enough to consider more than just themselves but in truth the world isn’t always like that and some people are indeed selfish and often times this realization of self motivation perplexes Cancer suns because on a deeper level they don’t know how to disconnect from their need to solely focus on the well being of others whilst also worrying about their own health and emotional well being.

Sun In The Fourth House: The Deity Tsukuyomi

Song: Daughter - Numbers

Ah These natives are truly a never ending Dream starting so pleasant and continuously transitioning like phases of the moon into A nightmare, a sunset, a wet dream, a night terror over and over.These natives are Vague in their difference From their sun counterpart. They seem Emotional and Actually are just as emotional as their actions give way for them to be. But in reverse order these natives do sentimental actions in seldom as they prefer to hide their softer side and present a more aloof front. Unlike Cancer suns the idea of being nice for the sake of it isn’t their forte, rather niceness that is earned is more their language. they admire a certain level of genuine feeling but despise it at the same time due to the roller coaster it sends them on. They often remind me of the Japanese God Tsukuyomi for their tenacity, their often proud and pious nature that dare i say is more Leo archetype than Leo is itself. These natives are proud of their home, to them home is a castle but oddly enough a castle they can’t stand to stay in for to long. They are not homebodies and in many cases tend to see a desire for exploration outside their home towns and often times the countries itself. These natives suffer from emotionally impulsive streaks, often entangling themselves in situations without guarding their heart because unlike Cancer suns these natives have no emotional awareness, they play everything by ear including their heart and that often throws them in an inescapable abyss that tends to devour them. Though these natives are kind at times they are also pompous, they are loving but they’re selfish about how this love is expressed. They want everything on their time often forgetting about the emotional side of things for other people and this is where they get in trouble and why people at times find them overbearing or unreachable. These natives are passionate and insanely creative, often the magnitude of this creativity as limitless as their reservoir of emotion. They wear everything loudly but also hide parts that they need when it’s convenient. these natives are rather childlike in their personality due to the fact that they don’t care much if their blatant about their disinterest or lack of concern and dare i say this is one of their worst and best traits. They don’t fake it and love or hate them they don’t give a shit. They can be tremendously spiteful though which is even more so pronounced in the feminine energy than it is the masculine. Their struggle lies in the concept of To Have and Not to have, they often times fall prey to the desire to feast and never end never once realizing that once it’s all gone they’ll have nothing. They also fail sometimes to except that just because they want to have something the other person or people in question do not also have to want it and this at times is where they minds clash, because they genuinely do not understand why people are not seeing it their way. Their moods are worse than cancer suns due to the fact that they are not aware of they are having them, this means that they can fly into a mean state without realizing they’ve shifted and this at times can make them seem far more unpredictable then they mean to be. These natives are so loving and genuinely do mean well but their ego does get the best of them with this placement quite a bit.

Sun In Leo Vs Sun In The Fifth House:

(The Sun God Ra Vs The God Of Destruction Shiva)

Sun In Leo: The Sun God Ra

Song: Empress of - Should’ve

In Certain Ways one can always find themselves confused at the hands of Leo Suns, As direct, Honest and bold as they may be parts of their personality are layered in rather elusive undertones. Leo suns are typically Vibrant, confident souls who march to the beat of their own blazing chariot and drum to match, but much of this bravado is burning so fervently as a means of hiding the softer and in many ways more docile side of these native. They pursue life in a zesty and at times rather emotionally flighty manner as to not ruffle the feathers of those who can’t keep up with them though they can’t help but relish in the fact that they themselves create energy and disperse it where ever they go and not one person can take that away from them. Despite this though Leo suns battle with their Ego on a daily basis and it’s a battle they don’t show the world. Much to their lament their heart at times has a goal of it’s own and no matter how hard they try to live by the flame eventually their flames seethe and reveal their true nature which is much more unsure, much more sentimental and compassionate. Leo Suns are deeply feeling and them being a fixed sign makes these emotions hit like an entire solar system when it happens. Though they hate to admit it they are sensitive, they want to be loved and seen authentically but are also scared of this vulnerability. For the masculine energy this can cause a flighty nature especially in the realm of the heart. Many masculine Leo’s will brake up or pull the “it’s a little too much for me” “ i think maybe we should take a brake” “i want to keep things casual,” approach with romance and things can be going great, marriage worthy and suddenly they pull out. Why? well Leo suns in their masculine spirit are deeply fearful of their feminine side, to them the idea of submission in any form even if it’s to their own heart is a weakness and one they would rather avoid. When this happens they trick themselves into becoming more sexual, more in need of the bachelor life style when in reality they know deep down they want your love, to be loved and accepted whole beyond the meaningless ass kissing they receive. This back and forth nature of their’s does continue sometimes but once they truly open their heart their love is that of a thousand burning blue suns turning the most tremendous white. For them love is their weakness and they seek to present this strong and rather disconnected stance for as long as they can because to them maintaining that powerful and free energy is their soul and to give up their soul for love is their destiny albeit one they detest. These natives are insanely willful and will fight tooth and nail to create, explore and build no matter the obstacle but that being said these natives battle their need to “escape” which can often lead them into addictive behavior as they need to run away from the feeling especially once the flames start to die down. These natives tend to be emotionally unavailable and give everyone the most calm and yet sincere showing of love but underneath i promise their is a depth and well of passion. In the feminine Leo energy is calm and proud but it is also more in-tune with the need for emotion and softness despite the universal Leo energy need for emotional tightness as to not show the world their hide. These natives often struggle with the Theme of Acknowledgement vs Rejection. For them the idea of acknowledging a weakness, a love or a vulnerability is death for them so as a result they reject it for as long as they can however they can and in this process they destroy themselves and the relationships they hold dear. they spend much time wrapped in the concept of accepting the way the feel and not running away from the side of the selves that isn’t shrouded in those glamorous flames. They are caring beyond belief despite the way those flames may fool the world, And dare i say out of many of the signs Leo Sun’s genuinely have hearts of gold in every way. Though Much Like Ra these natives are seen by many under many guises and faces many of which are farther away from the true kinded hearted soul underneath that truly is as radiant as the sun.

Sun In The Fifth House: The God Of Destruction Shiva

Song: Empress Of - Need Myself

These Natives are quite the storm of Passion and at times this can be the very damning thing in their life. These natives live by the code of fire and tend to burn and burn never realizing their flames are eating up those they care-fore just as much as their foes. They tend to be Patronizing, Domineering, Physical, animated, Passionate and driven Though at times they loose sight of those who marched with them once the goal is reached. They Adore gratification but also don’t believe others deserve it out of their idea of what it looks like to dig fingers in the dirt for something. They believe in fighting for the just things but in saying this they themselves resent people who need to feel honored for doing such a thing. See these natives despise yet love praise, to them praise feels like honey and milk but has the after taste of cleaning solution and dirt. They want to feel needed but despite co-dependence. they want to feel it all but get lost in the feeling. for them their world is one big cyclone of events they just happen to take part in but they also don’t enjoy the drama that comes along with it though it secretly fuels them. to them life is to be tamed and those who are tamed by it are simply unlucky. They value intimacy above all else because in their eyes real intimacy cannot be faked, but they have a tendency to over identify with sex and intimacy almost using it as a bargain when in reality sex and intimacy are simply a pleasant moment between people. These natives can at times be addicted to the chaos and the negligence though they try to mask it as a pursuit of fun and liveliness. Much like Shiva these natives Believe that in order to create things must be tore the fuck up in order for them to really ever be real. The arguments, the tears, the ups and downs make it real for them and usually the lack of it can drive them mad. They prioritize their romances because that’s in a sense their focal point, their sun, their divine purpose but as you can imagine it is also their worst trait as it makes them incredibly insatiable for love but it also damages them greatly when they are alone without love in life. in Feminine energy the pursuit for love isn’t as all consuming and many focus more on their art and the beauties of children and theater many times over these natives live in the club as if it is some gorgeous ballroom whilst others paint and dance as if they where in a room with all the may gods. Masculine energies tend to be on the hunt for something, be it sex, be it themselves, be it a mighty battle to delight in they constantly pursue their own ideal of the sun no matter the activity in question. These natives tend to show all their rawness even their heart because unlike Leo suns they are not fearful of their deeper emotions which is a blessing and curse at times. They tend to battle against Wrath and Happiness. For them a constant state of turmoil is their fuel but the idea of happiness in its all scares them as they fear it will bring stagnancy and boredom along with it. they want to maintain their circulation of storms and tribulations and at times happiness intimidates them as it represents completion and often times completion is not yet what they desire.

Sun In Virgo Vs Sun In The Sixth House:

(Death God Iku Vs King Yan God of Death, Of The Ten Kings Of Hell)

Sun In Virgo: Death God Iku

Song: Brent Faiyaz- Make Luv

Sun in Virgo natives aren’t so much as something you can readily identify, they are not necessarily a thing as much as they are a what. They feel good, but they also surround you like a presence rather than a physical being. They often times feel like something carnal and ethereal but at the same time gravitate away from this by their realistic and rather internally discontent energy. They seem like they are just moving through the world, like a child who found out Santa was nothing more than a fable.They want and need to be needed but this desire is rooted in their early understanding of relevance being tied to usefulness. To be relied on is better than sex for them as it feeds their inner desire to be needed. Though we say this one might also call this their greatest weakness as their dependency on being needed swarms their lives into situations that allow them to be used and rather than be sad about it they seek out more situations until these woes mount a rather steep hill deep in their psyche. They often suffer from their fair share of demons because of their blind ignorance to their own pain, to them the pain is merely a small price to pay for those small moments of being needed, being useful in that moment they are seen more than any hug, child, parental love or sexual liaison can provide. Much Like Iku these natives live amongst the shadows as a presence, fading in and out of situations like a black smoke. They love the idea of being around others but they secretly loathe it as deep down they feel the attention is swirling away from them. most feminines with this placement suffer immensely as they struggle to separate being needed from being used and separating love from hate.To them the occasional grips outlast the major ones but in reality the small ones are the ones that leave the deepest wounds, while the big ones just leave a gaping hole that was already their to begin with.They admire work ethic and creativity in others as its something they too seek to connect with but they often burn out constantly due to their lack of emotional focus. they often jump in and out of happy and down periods with the down periods out weighing the happy ones due to them not genuinely pursuing their own vices of their own free will. though they care for others they don’t really love themselves which is many times over why they purposely play the game of how long can i rip myself apart subconsciously as they systematically replay the same scenarios with the same ending. Sex is another dimension to Virgo suns, they much Like Gemini Suns see it as a curiosity but due to their earthy component the curiosity instantly dies as soon as their sensual mind catches up with what is really happening. They want and need mental as well as true physical compatibility which can only happen when they align themselves with their emotional self. This circus act tends to continue as the biggest struggle for this sign is My pain vs your pain dynamics. They never know when to draw the line and ultimately they get eaten up by it. The masculines suffer the greatest as they are prone to holding on to their past hurts and using it as justification for mistreatment of people that come after. in their eyes the world was cruel to them so why can’t they be the god and return the favor and this is often why they endure the worst as the universe punishes them tend fold.

Sun In the Sixth House: King Yan, Of the Ten Kings Of Hell

Song: Brent Faiyaz - Insecure

As many of you may Know we look to the sixth house as the house of structure, day to day activities, routines and health yet for a native with their sun here the health and the health of others can be an ongoing theme in their lives.They Are constantly running on an internal schedule one that can seem to make all of the minutes in a day pure agony. They tend to be meticulous in some cases whilst in others they seem to be following some sort of silent bell that tells them the when and where. Time management, organizing and even planning are their hidden talents mainly because when it comes to other people they are like death itself, constantly waiting, passing the time almost excited at the idea of putting everything together. They can seem detached but down to earth, their hallmark is their humility and bluntness but in some lower cases they can seem condescending and emotionally daft. They say and do things according to their mental comprised list of do’s and don’ts. most people fall in reaction and action types for them and they tend to formulate their actions and reactions in response to these but much like life itself many things are unexpected including people and this is often where these natives malfunction, they assume actions before they take place and are totally unprepared for the off chance things operate outside of that box. To them there is a steady cause and effect momentum that life runs by and often very little does life operate off this agenda. For them life can be stages and every stage represents different levels of turbulence for them, at times things are well and other times they seem unstable or at times they can seem rather abysmal but thats much like life no? things can shift in and out of focus. well you see for these natives that shift of focus can be earth shattering as they tend to revolve their life around specific situations at times which can be highly discombobulating for them when they hadn’t the time to prepare counter alternatives. These natives are quick mentally and typically love the idea of nature and it’s animals, many loving to surround themselves with lively animated pets. they tend to care for their pets and plants more than they do people at times as they naturally see nature and animals as their happy place and area of grounding. Work is also important to these natives so they can often be very proud and intense when it come to the job hunt as their job is often what they want to be known for, how good they do is always important to them. In the masculine energy this can make the men rather messy/earthy looking as they pick up their features from nature in a quite literal way. for the feminine energy types the mercurial influence gives that gender less tone once more whilst also adding a soothing and innocent beauty. these natives are often dealing with the theme of Time Vs Place. For them Time is always an issue, when is it the right time? they never know how much time to alot to moments in their which ends up creating states of drain in them, but the place has much to do with this as well as these natives fail to realize that the places they trap themselves in is a cause of their lack of time, very rarely do they set themselves in situations that give them enough time to exercise free time yet they find themselves wondering where all the time has gone when it was never there to being with.

Sun in Libra Vs Sun In The Seventh House:

(Loki The Trickster Vs Dolos/Dolus The Spirit Of Trickery)

Sun In Libra: Loki The Trickster

Song: King Princess - Back Of a Cab

As an outsider looking in it may seem like Libra suns are impartial, Sweet and charming in a way that is both fleeting yet inviting, but among their well meaning disposition lay a certain anticipation of the camera cutting into the more grotesque scene. These natives Live almost as though they were a celebrity, their minds and energy go into the upholding of the idea they present. be it that they are a punk rock don’t need a man type, or maybe they are seen as a high ranking and family oriented politician, or mayhaps they are seen as the athlete or the singer with the smile of a cool summer evening. They wont ever showcase what lay underneath due to the real self being far more ominous then people are ready for. Libra suns are in reality stoic, serious, and unenthusiastic, this may sound bad but its in reality meaning that they aren’t as wrapped up in your shit as you may think. Libra suns present themselves as more caring and more involved then they really are as in all truth being cardinal their real focus at the end of the day is their own independent well being and whether or not anything is serving the purpose it needs within their lives. They are incredibly independent and dare i say even more than Aries suns. Libra suns really go through all the effort of seeming dependent and unknowing because it allows for people to see them as less of a threat, this in term gets them leighweigh in cultivating beneficial situations for themselves without a hassle. That being said they can get into trouble when the mask fades as people begin to realize their true nature. Libra suns are caring and gentle to those around them and this part is honest as they do have an appreciation for the sensual and often the beautiful aspects of relating to others. Though that being said they have a limit of to how much interaction with others they can stand for, to much of seeing someone can bore them and depending on the nature of the continued interaction they’ll often begin to wear their mask more fiercely as they are now beginning to fight their real self from telling you to leave them be. Libra suns are well meaning but at times they do find themselves caught between the mirror of deception, this shows itself as them getting caught up on past performances they’ve up-kept coming to bite them in the ass. They rationalize things here and there but for the most part much of what they may feel is felt deeply as they tend to see emotions as a gift and something they hold onto. The reason being that Libra suns seldom stay in a moment to long so often when a strong emotion catches them off guard they welcome it though if it’s a negative emotion they tend to retreat from it especially if it’s a romantic emotion that is moving along faster than intended. They are uplifting and selfless most times but selfish and rather clouded by their romances when they do come around. Their greatest struggle tends to be The real me vs the Me everyone Thinks is me. These natives play so deeply into their roles that they often times fly so far away from their own inner world that they forget what or how to identify their own feelings apart from the ones they have made everyone believe they are experiencing.

Sun In The Seventh House: Dolos/Dolus The Spirit Of Trickery

Song: King Princess - Ohio

These natives Unlike their Libra Sun Counterparts Exhibit traits that i can only describe as seemingly disengaged yet deeply engaged at the same take. They can seem as if they are wandering, mentally shifted in another place yet almost like a trance they heard every word, saw every movement they were analyzing you yet how could you tell? These natives are observant and often times the silence is their way of capturing the moment. They prefer talkative types as they reveal more and make that part of the interaction easier for them, but people who are overly mysterious or quiet tend to offset them as it gives them very little to work with and puts the balancing act on their back. They try to make others feel understood mainly because they themselves resonate so deeply with the process of finding oneself and understanding ones own true inner workings.These natives seem tricky and deceptive but rather its more or less the spirit they give off. They seem deceptive because they don’t reveal much, yet unknown to others they just don’t identify as heavily as most with the things in their life well enough to reveal much. The seem like tricksters because they know the right time to speak and the right time to act which can at times seem like they’re planning or scheming when in reality they are simply good readers of body language and social ques. they often times trail along a sadness that they can’t seem to attach a reason to but this sadness is often the shadow. unlike Libra suns these natives can’t pretend to be something mainly because they don’t really know who they are apart from their immediate interactions with others. they have an idea but at times they feel like a shadow of something. The shadow self often tries to convince them to play roles, play into things that could possibly be them yet in actuality they know deep down that would only further the disassociation with themselves. love is a big thing for these natives but it always seems fleeting, as if all their good graces are wasted on individuals who never deserved their love. in an ironic twist though it is actually wonderful that these people come into their lives as they aid their journey to self discovery. These natives are genuine and kind hearted despite their rather quiet and too themselves nature. Their greatest battle is between The Loud Heart and The Quiet Heart. Often times these natives play into the feelings they can see but never into the ones they feel but cannot see, to them the emotions need to have a logic behind them and if not they shrug it off as a irrational emotion. They often times are terrified by their own depth mainly because it belongs to a side of themselves they are not yet familiar and this is the shadow.

Sun In Scorpio Vs Sun In The Eighth House:

(The Mighty Marques Aamon Vs Arch Angel Michael)

Sun In scorpio: The Mighty Marques Aamon

Song: Tove Lo - Are u Gonna Tell Her?

ah The mighty Scorpio sun, Riddled in the darker parts of human nature where they themselves seem to find a sense of curiosity and compulsion. These natives tend to be easy to spot, rather not for just their physical attributes but for their ominous and rather soul inquiring gaze. They see right through you and have already dressed every aspect of you soul a million times over as if it were a pull over scarf. They more often then not have an early look into the nastier side of man due to the influence of Pluto and Mars throwing down their intense calamity. See Pluto and Mars are not necessarily on equal grounding and often times Pluto ruffles Mars in just the right way for mars to gear up in aggression which then cause Pluto to polarize and become calculated and manipulative in order to gain the upper hand. due to this these natives tend to express the inner conflict outwardly as a hot and cold/off and on demeanor and approach to all things be it love, family, and even career’s. Scorpio Suns do not want to draw attention to their actions or their inner workings so much of their ego goes into sharing just enough to get what they need from others whilst revealing almost nothing of themselves. In lesser versions of Scorpio suns this can be problematic behavior as they soon become controlling, Gas light heavy and emotionally abusive to those close to them as a means of furthering their need to be in control. Make no mistake though Scorpio suns are typically battling their own demons the main difference being what part of their journey of healing they are on. Scorpio in feminine types tends to be the most afflicted as the overly competitive masculine ruling signs clashes with the more submissive or passive feminine energy. This clash is apart of what makes these natives so alluring and sensual, you can almost feel the war steaming over their skin, the pain in their eyes, the intensity, you feel all of it as if you where there with them. They tend to be very loving and loyal souls but can struggle with opening their hearts to real love, the kind that heals and extends it’s hand. Scorpio Suns have a bad knack for going after their mirror, and this in turn is apart of their journey but also a habit that must be broken. The reason is linked to the fact that Scorpios Suns are drawn naturally to people that force them to Acknowledge their trauma, darkness and inner instability which sends them on emotional benders that can last years if they are not careful. Often times the Scorpio Sun natives are in a constant flux where they must deal with Ex’s, Family dramas and at a deeper level mental brakes but this is all apart of their grand story despite how heavy the lows are. Scorpio suns as a whole struggle with the concept of Destruction and Rebirth. For them everything in their life has a life expectancy and once the time comes all things fall to ruin, only Scorpio suns obsess with the idea of rebirth leading to a form of longevity a way to ensure things never cease nor ware down..But in reality this continuously vicious cycle of Devastation and second life are draining for their spirits and their soul. It’s ok to let go and it’s okay for things to be at peace, just because there is no war at hand it is no cause for worry of an impending ending and often times these natives in their fear of this manifest their own endings. Much like the Mighty Demon Aamon these natives are compassionate and understanding but also careless, wild and wouldn’t hesitate to impose their will no matter the consequence to others. They have a hard time with the white Pickett fence lifestyle and often times find themselves craving the unknown, the unstable, the misfortune..they are drawn to it like mosquitoes to blood.

Sun in The Eighth House: Arch Angel Michael

Song: Tove lo- Passion& Pain Taste The same(Extended Version)

Sun in the Eighth house Natives are Emotionally adept, but noticeably scary in the sense that they always seem as if they are sizing you up, writing in pieces and parts of you personality so they themselves can further dig into you psyche in a way that prevents you from pulling the wool over their eyes. unlike Scorpio Suns these natives aren’t a walking ball of tension rather they exude a mysterious and rather deceptive energy as if they are a black mist eroding away at the walls silently beyond your sight. They are just as Black and White as Scorpio suns but more dangerous due to the fact that they see the grey area clearly and choose when they’d like to include it in their perceptive analysis. They can have a military like energy to them, seeming authoritative and closed, while also having a rather shady nature to them even if they are not personally out to get anything at all. Often times people around them perceive them in a rather untrustworthy light even if they are the most honest person in the world, the reason being the eighth house squaring the energy of the Sun, it creates a Leo meets Scorpio Dynamic that creates friction in the outside world but not the bedroom. Sex is where these natives feel they can truly glow and shine, where they can truly unwind and express their true nature. Often times sexual addiction or sexual obsession can become apparent if the natives listen to their lower vibrations. They often times see people in a way of value and have a hard time letting go of them due to the bountiful potential they see in them. to these natives everyone on this earth has meaning no matter how small and that makes them irreplaceable. They often struggle with the idea of growing up Vs staying young. They often hold on to their youth, and even sometimes surround themselves by a younger audience as a means of ignoring father time who often forces them to confront the harsh realities of life. They often times battle with their mature side as it represents confronting their rigid more disillusioned side. they want to be optimistic but deep down they recognize the serious rather proud nature within themselves though they may try to shrug it off. They want their darkness to be excepted but simultaneously detest it as if it where a violent storm or pack of hounds set loose. despite this they have a rather intense nature but one that is more calm and mischievous then its Scorpio sun counterpart. Much like Michael these natives are dutiful but ruthless, if it gets them what they need they’ll execute it without issue no matter who is effected. They tend to follow orders and expect the same from others. they have an empress/emperor like energy which can at times seem intimidating and cold.

Sun In Sagittarius Vs Sun In The ninth House:

(Norse God Odin Vs Pantheon God Of Olympus Zeus)

Sun In Sagittarius: Norse God Odin

Song: Cinnamon Chasers - Speeder

These Natives do live up to their expansive Ruling planet, They at times are so high up in the sky that they forget there is a whole world around them. They are often distracted, Blunt, Mean, Cut throat, Philosophical and open minded whilst also somehow managing to be vibrant, Sincere and very hard lovers for those they hold dear. They can have trouble holding back their opinions and their ideas and once that mouth of their’s gets going it tends to be a real sucker punch. They adore adventure but tend to find adventure in their day to day life just as exciting. The traveling generalization is often true but for Sagittarius suns it’s not so much foreign cultures as it is experiencing something outside of their immediate normality. they can’t stand someone who doesn’t have any idea what they’re talking about and will dig your grave for you via words if you waste their time, every second is precious to a Sagittarius sun no matter how minor you may think it is. They are often very straightforward in their approach to all things which can be a good or bad thing depending on how strong willed you are to deal with such a strong force. They tend to live in their minds but unlike Gemini these thoughts and desires find their way into the real world which often time can lead them into some sketchy or bad situations due to how little thought or consideration went into the details of the thought itself. They are insanely willful folks and will fight anyone who intends on placing them into a set standard of expectations and rules. They are often creative and fair very well with bringing in their own unique spin to the things they create. certain emotions some of us spend years or days mulling over these natives typically pass through relatively swiftly. Nothing really is that serious to these natives, after-all in their eyes all that could be done has been done. They tend to have a rocky relationship with their emotional hemisphere and thats often where the underdeveloped lot of this sun sign seek out their flighty and or venomous tongue to defend themselves. they often are quite sensitive and loving but struggle to apply this as its a foreign concept to them. Their flightiness is also deeply rooted in their need to chase, to constantly be on the hunt for their divine pleasure. The masculine and feminine both fall prey to this. Similarly to Odin these natives are creative, expansive in their mentality, leaders, explorers and deeply intellectual beings bent on understanding the world and all within it too it’s fullest extent. Their greatest struggle tends to be between the Should i stay vs should i go dynamic. They are always leaving the people and things they have no business leaving behind yet sticking around for the nonsense that truly serves them no other purpose but sex, false validation or presenting a sort of illusion.

Sun In The Ninth House: Pantheon God Of Olympus Zeus

Song: Cinnamon Chasers -Luv Deluxe

For these natives the differences can be a little harder to tell, though if anything they stand out even more so than it would for a Sagittarius sun. These natives have a inspirational mind, Dexterous, and very good at micro-managing their own energies. They do suffer from a horrid resting bitch face and cannot hold their tongue when it comes to most things as they prefer to say exactly whats on their mind but this happens more unknowingly for them than it does for their sun sign counterpart. these natives share Zeus’s promiscuous nature, finding it relatively easy to move on from person to person due to the way they look at relationships being stepping stones that further them along to their perfect match. Not very often do these natives find themselves in one position for two long as they suffer from restlessness more than any fire sign or other fire house combined. to them The day is meant to be explored and often times these adventures are completely random as their desire to expand can come suddenly like a blast of cold air. They tend to also enjoy their fair share of tattoos, body augmentations, and hair dyes. Anything that allows them to heighten their experience which in many cases also includes drugs, as the natives love being able to awaken the parts of themselves unattainable during the day. They are partiers but also at times very studious. many are very dedicated to the idea of college while others drop out due to feeling they can find other ways to expand and create on their own. This native is often dualistic in the sense that they can pursue one path for some time and then completely fly off the rail and start a new path abruptly and this personality trait is something that continues as time goes on. They are very giving souls nonetheless and willingly sacrifice and support those they care about with ease be it paying for their food, letting them stay at their house or borrow their clothes. The thing is these natives are good at assessing the boundary and can very easily tell you to leave or that they want to be alone, because although they are kind they also still know their own personal needs matter just as much at the end of the day. They often inquire much about the emotional side of things because they often don’t understand the emotions of others nor what motivates their actions which is their greatest source of frustration. Their main struggle much like Zeus is Abundance Vs Accumulation. They often crowd on things for the sake of having it, but fail to find the the value or usefulness in the very things they are allowing into their life. They must learn to value the things around them otherwise it just ends up being a bunch of furniture with plastic wrap, unused and wasted. They are just as tenacious, gallant, charismatic and strong as Zeus but in hindsight they are just as rude, Oblivious and insatiable as him in their worst.

Sun In Capricorn Vs Sun In The Tenth House:

(Hades Vs Buddha)

Sun In Capricorn: Hades

song: Delilah- Touch me

If i could describe these natives in a sense i would say they are gifted with a great curse and a Mighty Blessing, and that would be their ability of seeing exactly the deeper nature of an individual without any actual spoken word. They are people readers plain and simple and a great many of them gorge themselves on their hobby of people watching. To them humanity is a big social project and one they are endlessly applying their vast many of skills in decoding. They have an inner earthiness to them that can energetically make them seem slower in their reactions but overly abundant in spirit when it comes to the more physical aspects of life. They have a very emotional relationship with success and money so often times they tend to neglect the other meats of life in favor of money which at times can leave them lonely in the midst of their success. They can have an intimidating aura, one that reaks of sadness and woe in the masculines or one that reaks of intensity and confidence in the feminines. The sun in Capricorn natives have a naturally polarizing emotional state, at times seeming calm, happy or at least passably content to more stoic, lost and emotionally unavailable the moment Saturn’s gloom sinks his teeth into them. they often times find themselves trapped in a current of weight, often times softer things like relaxation, vacations, and even moments of idle are very rarely enjoyed by these natives as often very deep within they feel intense guilt at the experience of any pleasure for too long. to these natives there is a constant nagging voice telling them to “move” and push ahead, the moment they stop the voice becomes a vicious void that can often times give these natives their well known devilish energy. These natives practice restraint subconsciously and often times limit themselves as a means of a deeper rooted paranoia that if they are truly at their best, truly free, everything will come undone. These natives have a life based upon hidden fears that have no real face but often times are tied to Saturn who nurtures the idea in them that things could go wrong at the drop of the hat and that letting ones guard down even for a moment can lead to a very painful lesson. They tend to be loving, and deeply sensitive souls but very hardly ever do they show this face. Masking and false advertising is their forte, pretending to be malicious, cool, aloof, and empty if often easier then showing their bubbly, talkative, and rather softly romantic and tender nature. Love can be a source of pain for them due to the fact that much like all who have Saturn in a prominent place, a lesson is always to be had. these natives tend to learn that love is something that is seldom on par with the level of dedication and patience they exhibit towards their own life, often times fueling their cynical view towards love as a whole. They love intently and with all of their soul, never leaving the side of their lovers but at the same time this love and loyalty comes after years upon years of work and foundation as these natives loathe intimacy or love that seems to flighty or ungrounded in it’s intent. they tend to be spiritual but this is something they grow more intune with the older they get. They tend to be caught in the struggle of maybe it'll be different this time vs already knowing the outcome. The harsh part for these natives is that they deep inside want to give people the benefit of the doubt, they want to be whimsical and naive but it is something to riddled with consequence which they already know and often times they are trapped in a tug of war of was i right to give up on this, to shut down, to close off, was i to harsh, was i to fast to do it? but often times the moment they ignore their intuition the pain is often a violent reminder that they should’ve listened to their gut. these natives much like hades understand the depth of their commitments and find dedicating themselves to things a rigor to be expected but one that is earned not just jumped into head first without proper caution. They live in the dark, ominous and heavy seated parts of life but because of them everything is in order, everything is collected and well placed as it should be.

Sun In The Tenth House: Buddha

Song: Delilah - Love you so

Sun In the Tenth housers are drastically different from their fourth house sun counterparts in the respect that where one is Pious, emotionally erratic and arrogant the other is cold, emotionally distanced and humble. These natives prefer quiet as opposed to a loud obnoxious display of the self. To them your work and actions should speak more for your character than some inflated actions or stories. They love intense encounters and often find themselves at the center of powerful people be it bad or good. they enjoy a certain level of unpredictability in thought rather than actually carried out in reality. if i could describe them i’d say they are the emotionally aware bad girl/boy. they enjoy the discretion of the social norm but also have a longing for more structure in their lives. for these natives people are only so interesting to them, once they figure them out the concept presented in getting to know the individual goes out the window. The only real intrigue to them is an ever changing situation, person or thing, anything with a predictable end is often a source of contempt for them. Emotionally they can run HOT like a supernova but then suddenly cool as if all the suns across multiple galaxies vanished into thin air leaving a stark, rigid cold. They tend to adore darkness in others only until this very darkness starts to lose it’s luster. a preference for being a savior for others is present but once again the back and forth nature of this placement and it’s obsession with the idea of disharmony yet simultaneously needing peace. they have a rather neutral perspective in life due to their fluctuating taste, and much like the Buddha they live by a strong law of what you give is what you get, what you do comes back to you and that for every action done, their is an effect waiting for it. Despite this these natives tend to be on the more mischievous side of things seeking a sort of imagined excitement that never ever seems to come. Romantically they are the type to fall hard but also the type to run from anything that is to emotionally saturated. they don’t care for love yet it always finds them anyways, the key with them is that they need it to be paced, anything rushed, anything impulsive or quickly proposed tends to push them deep in their hole. they love sensual affection and touch and often love to place their hands on everything and anything, to feel it in their palms, on their skin, in their hair...they eat up the environment like it were the sea making waves around them. Often times they can have a melancholic sense of humor and seem rather out of touch with their surroundings at times. They prefer loneliness as opposed to bad company and at times the bad company in their eyes is the entirety of human society. They can seem pretentious, Mean, and wildly judgmental with their sharp tongue but if you listen closely at times these natives speak truths you yourself know are true but are not ready to accept. i often call these natives fortune tellers as they speak in foreshadowing tones that allude to future happenings. They often struggle with the heart vs the head. at times they live so much in their mind that the longings of their heart feel like weird wire entanglements that they are not familiar with. They know their heart longs for things but their mind for the life of them can never really make sense of it, to them its all a bunch of gibberish but it often is why they always feel that internal and eternal missing in their lives, as if something should be there but never really is.

Sun In Aquarius Vs Sun In The Eleventh House:

(Goddess of Death Hela Vs Moon God Lilith)

Song: SHYGIRL - Freak

So today we speak on one of the most complex and virtually paradoxical sun signs to date, Aquarius suns. These natives are well deserving of their rather multi-layered face, often times seeming like a box with never ending compartments and staircases leading to new basements and by theory new worlds and realities. Often times their level of competency can fly between intellectually dualistic to emotionally dualistic. They can seem like they understand you and at times the depth of this understanding would surprise you despite their seemingly detached nature. Despite this more soft side of their ego make no mistake their god complex is sitting eerily close to the surface. Unlike Gemini suns, there is no second face in the water bearer rather their is only this continuous current that fluctuates between a heavy stream of a light stream and which stream you get depends solely on the level of intellectual enticement the Aquarius sun native can glimpse within you. There is an apparent darkness in these natives but it’s mainly due to their co-rulership of saturn dancing with the erratic demon uranus. These two planets complete each other but they also tug at one another strings in a rather violent and stormy like way, causing a strange ground up and sky to floor motion in these natives moods. One moment they can be rebellious, restless, goofy and rather unbothered and the next moment they can seem stoic, impersonal, detached and down right moody. they love proving others wrong but they also take a great pride in watching a stance someone has held so tightly in pride come crashing down once the sun in Aquarius native corrects them. they take great pride in their mental dexterity but at times can be overwhelmed by the constant and never ending current of thought. They have a tendency to come across as hardheaded and hellbent on their way being the right way as they often despite their airy nature are still intensely fixed. that being said they are deeply curious of society and the world around them, often taking time to learn and study the varying cultures and systems in the immediate environment as well as the environment as others. very many tend to find themselves drawn to humanitarian pursuits albeit a bit shy at first in many cases due to the fact that they themselves don’t always understand their pull to the collective. These natives tend to be loners contrary to belief and find it very difficult at times to cope with their occasional existential crisis as they often find that they don’t really relate or connect to the world or time frame they happen to be apart of. They at times like the idea of being misunderstood while other times they wish atleast one person could peer into their mind and document their beautiful and uniquely grafted mental space but that would be far to available for their liking. Making friends is something that seems like a powerful need for these natives and often times something they struggle with as they often find that they confuse friendship and romance. often projecting more romantic/relationship tendencies on their friendships and projecting more friendship/acquaintance tendencies on their romantic relationships. They do enjoy the idea of being in love or being emotionally connected to others but in a lot of ways they don’t really understand it as much as they’d want to. they tend to in a similar fashion as Hela deem themselves as higher beings who happen to be misunderstood. they view themselves as starving intellects who the world neglects in favor of stupidity and mental stagnancy, a stagnancy that the Aquarius suns believe they can rescue the world from if they listened to them.. Their greatest battle lay in the concept of wisdom vs Virtue. They see these things as separate ideologies, often presented as fallacies rather than something applicable, to them wisdom is unreliable due to the fact that simply knowing something or how it may pan out does not necessarily omit outside factors that alter this variable, and virtue in itself seems like something self assured, but in their eyes something self assured is also prone to change due to the unstable base it is presented upon. so they tend to struggle with letting themselves go to the unknown presented in spirituality, which is often the missing piece to their puzzle. Many of these natives tend to be bisexual, that being said any sign can be bisexual or gay, or so on, the case is that with Aquarius suns, they have such a deeply set ambiguous eternal self that can at times find that it relates more to the energy of others than it does the physical body, especially since for these natives sex and love are not hand in hand as much as mind and body are.

Sun In The Eleventh House: The Moon God Lilith

Song: SHYGIRL - Rude

These natives are very unique in the sense that dare i say this is the darkest position for the sun to be in. It creates a tug a war, between the sun and itself as nothing more than a cold white glow. They are charismatic and open, but closed and mysterious. on a hand they can seem welcoming and so entrancing in their approaches, seeming as if they adore the crowd but if you really see them they are intense, perplexed, to themselves and endlessly distrustful. A good word for them is willful and Loudly willful at that. They will not and cannot be moved without their own desire and often times the source of what moves them is unknown to them as well. a complicated requiem of pain swirls within them but the source often alludes them as it stems for a combination of things that have moved around like chess pieces in a chess game with no players in seat. They experience pain but they never claim it rather its seated somewhere and moved around again and again until it origin is blurry to the natives. Pompous at times with their beliefs they are well being, they have an obsessive nature with friendships often deeming them to hold seniority above most things, at times seeing them as extensions of their own ego. the less they understand amongst their friends the weaker they feel. loving them can be complicated as they are always evolving, changing and dying off ridding pieces of themselves as if they were spring cleaning their souls. They do deal with their darker sides mainly because unlike most of us these natives skeletons never really do go in the closet rather they stand loud and proud in the face of the native so they can face them. They tend to be sensitive but also adaptable so the sensitivity can seem elusive as they tend to firmly glue shut the smallest weakness in themselves the moment it is introduced. They value the feelings of others more then even their own at times but there is often a nice balance between their care for others and the care they have for themselves. They can seem unnerving and captivating as their energy tends to feel like a sultry, in control and rather sophisticated energy though they may not recognize it within themselves. They often times fly in and out of asexuality and this deals more with their emotional state if anything. they at times don’t connect to other people in the way we all do, they see the physical beyond it’s self which can at times cause complete disconnect during moments of intimacy or sex. They often battle the idea of am i complete vs am i incomplete. they never truly know if they have all the pieces aligned and much like Lilith they often times feel an innate need to find the truth, to rebel and quarrel until it all makes sense. they can seem nomadic and ruthless because of this due to the fact that they are willing to do whatever it takes to fuel their desire for self discovery. gender roles and social constraints bore them often times and this makes them feel tense and confined when they are in an overly oppressive or traditional environment

Sun In Pisces Vs Sun In The Twelfth House:

( The God Of Creation Brahma Vs Jesus Christ, Son Of God)

Sun In Pisces: The God Of Creation Brahma

Song :Sevdaliza - Dormant

Much Like A dark sea, with waves reaching the clouds and dancing with visible silent but reverberating shocks of light in the sky these natives present a wildly pretty, yet ominous duplicity within their soft and gooey disposition. They can seem rather intangible, yet despite their hard to grasp wetness they can see you, read you and be inside of you like water and dissipate like fog before your very eyes. They are insanely sensitive but unlike the other water signs they are also every other sun sign dressed as one. They have many traits, they carry the impulsive nature of Aries, the sensual and rather harmonious nature of Taurus, the duality and wit of Gemini, The soft and protective nurturing of Cancer, the Amorousness and rather playfully romantic nature of Leo, the Calculated, yet realistic side of Virgo though they fight it.., the Co-dependent yet charming nature of Libra, The emotional intensity and depth of Scorpio, The gun-ho, and rather Flighty nature of Sagittarius, the steady and rigid side of Capricorn, and the Eccentric and rather erratic momentum of Aquarius. thats what makes them so terrifying, they are all things but also nothing at all in theory, a Pisces sun is a reflection of you, their environment, they in theory have no one set manner of being. These natives have a way of seeming completely present, so totally engulfed in you but once reality catches up with them they can seemingly turn into smoke, vanishing into thin air as if they never truly felt anything to begin with. What happened? well Pisces suns are very dualistic in nature, one fish dives in recklessly and the other fish brings them both back to reality and slows things down. Pisces do not readily settle down nor do they readily make any commitments to others be it friends, lovers and even family. everything means more to a Pisces native so they often times need plenty of time to think of the many options, possibilities and outcomes even if they don’t have a clear idea of what they may look like. they tend to be heavily compassionate but can struggle with creating boundaries between their woes and the woes of others. at times they see pain as a shared experience rather than a mission to be experienced solely with the self. in masculines this energy is HARD to handle. it can cause them to get drowned in the Neptune pool, often times making them liars, unstable or emotionally unavailable. in the feminine energy they tend to handle it well though in both energy types the flighty rather slippery side of them is always present, they can seem like they are dodging you or running away but in reality they just shift in and out of feelings like changing currents. they are deeply spiritual and many tie themselves to the unknown as if they were birthed from it. They believe in a higher space, that all things flow in the direction they must with or without intervention. They fear evil in others and often try to save and rescue those who’ve lost their way but many learn overtime that saving is at times not different from enabling. Their biggest fight is flight vs confrontation. These natives much like the god Brahma Are capable of creating and putting together projects and parts of the world in ways that would make all the gods jealous. they have a hand for beauty and making things however they must in a beautifully designed manner...that being said they often shy away from people and things that are good for them due to their fear of themselves and others. deep down they fear the idea of being seen completely as it means all of those 12 faces must fade and the fish must truly present all the parts of itself and thats often when they try to swim away. They fear the concept of being totally seen, totally embraced in the same manner that they do others because then they would have to acknowledge their weakness, Love, receiving honest love scares them as to them the camera is finally on them.

Sun In The twelfth House: Jesus Christ, Son Of God

Song: Sevdaliza - wallflower

We now come to the last of the houses. These Natives have an abundance of mist that shrouds them, much like a cloak or a long blast of light from the heavens surrounding them in its glow. They don’t normally stand out, many times having a rather passive and calm demeanor, seeming polite but not overly open nor connected. Though upon further inspection one can clearly make out their rather attentive eye for human emotion and human desire. they can seemingly pin point the sorrow in others, the dreams, the level of comfort one seeks and once they have scoped it out they often adapt to the particular need in question. See for them it’s more about creating an air of easy peace and the best way to do that is complete neutrality via adaptability. They often times remove all the traits associated with their sun sign and wear a veil, dare is say they become a spitting image of Jesus christ, suddenly they are able to collectively calm the crowd with little to no effort besides a few well placed personality augmentations to fit everyone's individual levels of comfort. They radiate a sadness, a deep sadness that is often glossed over with a false happiness, a ominously passive good natured state of passivity as to not allude to the rather turbulent well of waves and storms going on behind the scenes. Sleeping and a constant state of tiredness often plagues these natives, their energy often always seems half full even if they got a days full of sleep. They never truly feel at 100% which can at times give off a irritable or tired vibe to them. They tend to handle stress well but at the same time they usually can only do one emotion at a time, meaning that much of their inner feelings get compartmentalized into manageable spaces as to not cause them any issue. they like love, but they don’t have boundaries necessary to differentiate being used from being loved. at times they can purposely seek out bad things for them in order to feel needed but in reality they are ensuring that they never really feel happy because deep down they feel it is their fate to take on someone else baggage. They tend to be terrified of good people, stable people, as they represent a missing aspect within themselves. they often push away the good ones in favor of the bad ones because ultimately choosing to be with someone who actually cares about them means they would have to learn to care about themselves which is often something they are not ready to do. Self love is the fear for these natives as it involves uncluttering their inner psyche which is already damaged beyond what they think they can even repair. The struggle here is often do i love me Vs should i even love me? they often times view self love as selfish and deem it as an unnecessary virtue but at the same time they view it as a needed acceptance. hating themselves and self punishment is an easy go to for them because it removes accountability but in the end it always comes back and leaves a wave of carnage in it’s wake. much like Jesus these natives are sacrificing, enduring and deeply of strong faith in humanity but.. humanity always makes endless wounds, and scars in these natives..as they often get to see the worst sides of human nature as they grow mistaking their numbness for compassion. In reality they are kind and loving but this is often a defense mechanism rather than a state of just being.

Hope you guys enjoy!

#mine #sun in the houses

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il-predestinato · 3 years

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heyy Elle, hope you're doing well! I try to not get involved in f1drama sooo can you help me with why people hate Carlos?! as a driver he's done soo well for us and he seems to have gotten along well with all his teammates too, so why the hate?

I had to do a lot of reading for that Charles and Max racism defense post and I just wanna know about him. thank you and have a great week!!

Hi Alaya!

I'll try my best to sum it up, although keep in mind that I'm overall pretty fond of Carlos, so maybe I'm not the most unbiased source. But I will do my best to stick with the facts.

Long ass post ahead.

Various racism allegations:

1) Guilty by association because of his family:

His family is accused of supporting Vox, which I believe is a far right nationalist party in Spain with anti-feminist and xenophobic views. Reasons why they are accused of supporting Vox:

His father was once photographed with the second-in-command of Vox at some awards ceremony. The President of Vox posted a congrats tweet about Sainz Sr's Dakar win. But then again, so did the Prime Minister of Spain, so perhaps the dots connected here are a bit speculative.

Members of his family also follow some right wing politicians (amongst other politicians) on social media. E.g. I think his dad follows 2 Vox members, but many more PP's and C's (other political parties in Spain). His sister, his father, and cousin Caco follow Vox on instagram, but Carlos (Jr) does not.

As far as we can tell, Carlos (Jr) has never talked about politics, nor has he ever been photographed or seen hanging out with any right wing politicians.

2) Guilty by association for the Carlos Sainz Karting incident:

Basically, CS Karting ran a holiday ad depicting the Three Kings (or Three Wise Men), of which one of them (Balthazar) was portrayed with blackface.

This is very weird and uncomfortable for me (context: I am half French-Canadian and half Chinese, and I'm not familiar with Spanish culture). But I have seen Spanish people state that portraying Balthazar with a black mask/blackface is very common practice - and to label it in the traditional connotation of blackface is taking it massively out of context. Again, I can't really speak to this, so if anyone is Spanish, feel free to jump in. As someone who grew up in North America, I have to say it makes me very uncomfortable.

Either way, total PR nightmare in today's environment.

However, I should clarify that Carlos Sainz Karting is owned by his father, and aside from going karting a few times on the track, Carlos Jr isn't involved in this business at all.

Of note, when this happened, both Sr and Jr were out of the country. It has been stated in multiple sources that neither Sr nor Jr knew about the video and likely neither were involved in the marketing side. At most, maybe Sainz Sr (speculation), but almost certainly not Jr as he's not even affiliated with the business (aside from sharing the same name as his dad).

Again by association, Carlos (Jr) gets a lot of flack on F1br for this.

3) Estrella Galicia sponsor message in late 2019:

He's asked to tell a funny travel story and describes the time he was in Shanghai at a restaurant that was a little "too Chinese" and describes seeing a cat that snuck into the kitchen and never came out... and then they were later serve a chicken dish.

Here's the video.

He's trying to tell a funny story, but it's definitely not appropriate.

EG removed the video and neither they, McLaren, nor Carlos ever addressed its existence.

This is really the only offence that he's guilty of in my books. I think it was pretty ignorant and cringey, although likely with no malicious intent.

4) Not kneeling before races:

He is certainly not alone in this. Half of the 2021 drivers do not kneel for various reasons and receive varying amounts of vitriol for being racist. While Max and Charles also get skewered for this, in the context of all of his "sins" (which I would sum up as one pretty ignorant statement + the rest as being found guilty by association), Carlos gets criticized far worse.

He has explicitly stated: "I absolutely condemn all type of racism and all type of injustice" [sic] but was accused of spewing meaningless words.

His stance on kneeling: "I am not racist and I absolutely hate racism. What does kneeling have to do with being racist or not? It’s a mere gesture that changes nothing."

I tried to stick with the facts and leave you to interpret them. So stop reading here if you don't want any additional commentary.

My own interpretation (and this is just mine):

He's a young white male who grew up in a privileged and wealthy family, surrounded by parents and family members who have probable conservative leanings. As a result, he has certainly shown moments of ignorance, although likely not malicious in intent, and he's not alone in that (see my post about Max).

Of all the "racism" that he is accused of, I would say the EG video is the only one that is truly on him, and I won't make any excuses on his behalf for that one (but again, I don't "cancel" people for singular moments of their privilege/ignorance slipping up, especially when I think they meant no real harm). I do hope he understands why those words were hurtful and ignorant.

I don't think it's fair to sentence him based on his family's opinions or political leanings (and even his family's political views are somewhat speculative). If I am judged based on my family's opinions, I should cancel myself immediately. (Because oh boy, I've got some rural French-Canadian blood that isn't short on racist, sexist, or xenophobic views. But I am my own person, and their views are not mine.)

I haven't really talked about his positive qualities because that would take a separate essay. By all accounts, he is a hard-working, humble, kind, and generous team player - according to every teammate and staff that he has ever worked with. Lando, Charles, Max (3 wildly different people) - anyone that has worked with him for any significant period of time - are unequivocally positive about him. Look at the behind the scenes videos from McLaren and Ferrari: he really spends the time thanking and recognizing every member of his team. I think that is just who he is, and that's not something that can be faked.

Does he have flaws? Yes. Has he demonstrated ignorance? Yes. Is he a toxic, hateful, bigoted man? I don't think so. On balance, do I think he is overall a decent person? I would say yes.

I hope that was helpful!

- Elle

#elle.ask #elle.txt #carlos sainz #carlos sainz jr #a whole freaking essay

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

Text

Buy a Heart - Steve Rogers Smut

The one where Steve’s your best friend and he grows tired of seeing you stuck with a lousy boyfriend.

Warnings: infidelity, smut, unprotected sex, abusive relationships

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I was woken up from my own thoughts by the sound of laughter, and quickly joined in so I wouldn’t look silly or as if I wasn’t paying attention to what had been said at the party - which was actually the case. It was getting harder and harder to put on the fake smile and pretend everything was okay when I just knew I didn’t love Thomas anymore. But I also couldn’t find the best way to break it all off with him, because the truth was… he scared me. And I hated that it intimidated me, but it did.

Almost as if he could hear my thoughts, his eyes fell on me, and I shuddered, forcing a smile that hopefully read “everything is fine”. He raised a single eyebrow, a clear indication that something bad was going to happen when we left this dinner party, but otherwise kept on the appearances in front of everyone else. He would never create a scene in front of the Avengers, of course.

Just then, my phone beeped, signaling that a message had arrived. It was Steve. Instinctively, I felt the need to raise my gaze and look for his, but I knew that I couldn’t. Thomas had enough insecurities about my best friend already, I didn’t need to add this to the list of reasons why he would yell at me tonight. So I read over the text and returned my gaze to the conversation, pretending it wasn’t anything of interest, waiting for the perfect opportunity to excuse myself.

“I’m going to the toilet,” I had to explain once my boyfriend’s hand trapped my wrist, securing it just a tiny bit tighter than it should. “I’ll be right back.” He pursed his lips, but otherwise let me leave without raising the attention of my friends, who remained blissfully unaware of the tension between him and I. Good. That’s how I wanted it to be. It wouldn’t do me any good to have Earth’s mightiest heroes worried about my well-being.

I moved towards the nearest bathroom instinctively, knowing Steve would already be there, waiting for me. My mind was overtaken by him and only him, that familiar gravitational pull making me reach for the door at the same time he opened it from the inside. Damn supersoldier hearing.

“You wanted to talk to me?” I asked when he had pulled me into the tiny bathroom, made all the more suffocating by his large figure that took pretty much all of the space in the room. But instead of answering, he cradled my face, eyebrows furrowed so deep it made me want to press a thumb between them, make sure they weren’t creating a definitive mark in his perfect skin. His eyes penetrated my very soul, and it was only when I finally allowed mine to meet his, that he let me go.

“When were you going to tell me?” The question made me freeze, Steve’s intimidating figure towering over me. My heartbeat had sped up, making sure that he knew just how I truly felt, but I still had to try.

“What are you talking about?” It was the wrong thing to say and I knew it. I knew it even before his hands curled into fists and he closed his eyes to take a deep breath, clearly trying to control himself.

It wasn’t that different from what Thomas did whenever he considered I had done something to upset him, but there was a stark contrast between what I felt with my boyfriend and what I felt with my best friend: Steve only ever made me feel safe.

There was no doubt in my mind that whatever anger was coursing through his body wasn’t directed at me at all, just like I knew he would rather die that hurt me. Although my boyfriend had never really laid a finger on me, the fear was always there, omnipresent, looking over me.

“Don’t fuck with me, Y/N. You know what I’m talking about. How come you never told me that he’s abusive towards you?” Hearing those words being uttered by the person I cared the most only made the entire situation feel real.

“It’s not like that…” I started, incapable of looking him in the eye again, but he held my chin and forced me to meet his gaze, so I could see just how serious he was about this situation. And I felt it. I felt it deep in my bones, and I knew there was no way we would step out of this bathroom to the same environment we had previously left.

“Bullshit.” I flinched, not because I was scared of the cold tone he used, but because I knew he was right. And still, I kept trying to find excuses - I don’t think I wanted to absolve Thomas from the role he had assumed in my life, it was more like I didn’t want Steve to think less of me for allowing myself to get trapped in such a situation.

Steve’s P.O.V.

“It wasn’t, though! He never laid a finger on me, I swear.” It was impossible to contain my scoff, no matter how badly I didn’t want to react in such a way to her words. It was impolite and it was rude and she deserved more, but I couldn’t find any way to reel myself in now that this anger had taken over me. Both of us knew we’d have to let it take its course so we could deal with the aftermath, whatever it may be.

“Y/N, you’re smart. You know that abuse isn’t just physical. You know.” She sighed, eyes closing momentarily to recollect herself, and I felt that itch, that urge that always spiked up whenever she was around, that just begged me to touch her, to feel her warmth under my fingertips in some way.

Only this time I didn’t try to contain it - telling myself that this is what she needed to find comfort, to find the courage necessary to get this out. So I pulled her to me, wrapping a hand around the back of her neck and holding her head to my chest as the other went to her back, rubbing soothing circles there.

“It’s just… I don’t know how to end it, Steve. I-I hate to admit it, but... I’m scared.” The thought of her being anything near uncomfortable because of an asshole like that boyfriend of hers just made my blood boil. And she noticed, because there was the distinct sound of my teeth grinding as I moved my hands to hold her hips perhaps a little more tightly than I should.

“You shouldn’t be scared of anything. First of all, you’re an amazing agent and I know you can hold your own in any type of situation, much less anything involving an idiot like him. Second, if you feel like you can’t do this, for whatever reason, you know you can always count on us. At least, I hope you know you can always count on me.”

When she looked up at me, nodding enthusiastically while trying to blink away the tears that she didn’t want me to see, I was all at once taken over by the reality of my feelings for her. In that moment, nothing else existed, just me and her and this overwhelming need to make her feel good again, to remind her of how great love can actually feel if you’re with someone who would do anything for you.

So without even considering what I was doing, I cradled one side of her face and started to lean in, my heartbeat picking up as I watched her realize what was going on and close her own eyes in expectation. But before I could fulfill all of those late-night dreams I’d had about me and her, just before I learned what her lips felt like, I felt her hands on my chest, signaling me to stop.

“Steve…” She started, and I closed my own eyes, waiting for a simple no and expecting something even worse, expecting her to run from me and never look my way again, fearing I’d managed to absolutely ruin what I cherished most in the world: our friendship. “Steve, if you do thi- if we do this, I’m not letting you go,” she murmured, and the shock from the unexpected words had my eyes widening abruptly.

“W-What?” I had to be sure, I had to be 100% sure that she had in fact said what I hoped not to have imagined. Could it be that she wanted me too?

“Don’t kiss me if you don’t mean it,” she urged, and I swear, my heart fucking stopped. How could she even consider that I would ever feel anything less than the most pure and profound love for her?

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Desire flowed through me in such a way it made me tremble. I’d dreamt about this, about having Steve and being his for so long, it was hard to believe he had actually wanted to kissed me. He’d wanted to kiss me, in a cramped bathroom, with my boyfriend a few feet away from us, and I had to know why. I just needed to know if this meant something more than pity or an effort to get me to leave Tom.

My lips were still tingling from the proximity of his when Steve leaned down to finally capture my lips with his, his full body pushing me against the bathroom counter until I could feel every single hard muscle of his pressed tightly against mine.

“Don’t you dare doubt my feelings for you,” he whispered when he allowed me a break to catch my breath, and in the silence that followed his statement, I knew everything in my life would never be the same.

“Kiss me again,” I implored, already pulling him to me by the back of his neck, and he came without any hesitancy. His lips were soft and pillowy and I couldn’t believe I now knew what my best friend tasted like.

It was clear the Steve was trying very hard to control himself and keep his touches as soft as possible, probably fearing that he would hurt me or scare me away, but when in his effort to feel every inch of me he inadvertently pressed his hard cock against my stomach, the strangled sound he released had me deciding I needed to break him then and there.

“Just… One second…” He asked, eyes closed while he tried to calm down his breathing, but I was already reaching for his zipper. At the feeling of my hand rubbing his boner, his eyes snapped open, meeting mine to find out that I was just as desperate for him as he was for me.

“No, don’t stop. I need you, Steve. I need you to remind me what it feels like to be desired again.” Although it wasn’t necessarily my intention, it was clear that even if I did manage to get through to him, it also rekindled a particular aggressive feeling I wasn’t expecting to see at that moment.

“I can’t imagine not desiring you…” he commented, fingers leisurely caressing my face until they curled around my jaw. “But knowing that someone had you and still didn’t seize the opportunity to give you every single thing you’ve ever wanted...”

I gasped when he easily hoisted me on the bathroom counter, my fingers thankfully still able to act towards my intentions even if my mind felt hazy with everything that was going on. While Steve peppered kisses down my neck, I managed to curl my fist around his girth, both of us gasping at the action, albeit for very different reasons. He was probably not expecting me to be able to reach his member without him noticing it - underestimating just how enthralled he’d become by my skin and my reactions - but my delight came from the size of the cock I now held in my hand.

Of course, I’d expected Steve to be big - bigger than most, even. That much was understandable, considering he was, after all, a super soldier. But even in my wildest, dirtiest dreams, when I’d lay in my bed at night and imagine what it would be like to have him by my side, did I imagine he’d be this big.

“You’re so big,” I ended up exclaiming, against my better judgment, because just as I predicted, Steve stopped nipping on my collarbones to meet my eyes, clouds of worry clear in his.

“We don’t need to do this right now.” The only answer I could give him was to roll my eyes at the stupidity of that statement. He didn’t need to remind me that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to, but to think that I would waste this opportunity was truly ludicrous.

“You underestimate just how badly I want this,” and I squeezed his member so he’d know I was referring to it, and not only to the act that I longed to partake in with him. “I’m not leaving this bathroom until I’ve taken every single inch of you.”

Steve whined from the back of his throat at my words, and a dopey smile certainly took over my face just before he leaned over me to ravish my lips with his mouth. “And here I was, thinking you were an innocent little angel.”

Giggling, I pushed him away just enough so I could jump back on the floor. “I’m certainly nowhere near innocent, but I’ll let you call me angel if you want to.” Each new groan I earned from Steve only served to increase both my desire and my ego, so I dropped to my knees without any other sort of preamble, surprised when his hands covered mine on his member, urging me to look at him.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you want this?” Steve chuckled, thumb running over my bottom lip as I stared up at him with what I was certain to be at least a slight pout. In my fist, his cock throbbed, warm and heavy, begging for my mouth to be wrapped around it. His own hand, still covering mine, squeezed the member, as if reminding me of just how hard he was.

“How could you even ask me that?” Fluttering my eyelashes at him, I sucked his thumb just to add to my already pretty convincing reasoning, enjoying the way his mouth fell open at the feeling of just how warm mine was.

Steve’s P.O.V.

“Then why won’t you let me help?” She whined when she finally released my thumb, and I had to take a deep breath just to remain in full control of my own body. God, how I wished I could fulfill all of my desires at once. Of course, I longed to feel her pretty lips wrapped around my member, but if I closed my eyes and even thought about it, I knew I’d cum on the spot.

“It’s not fair,” I began explaining, reaching out to pull her up by her forearms. “I’ve been dreaming about tasting your pussy for so long, you have no idea.” Her eyes closed with a happy sigh as she felt my breath on her face again. I took advantage of being this close to take her lips on mine once more, but she wouldn’t let me forget about the hard, pressing matter between us, and she kept slowly jerking me off.

“Besides…” I whispered when I needed to pull away from her lips to pant, thanks to her ministrations on my member. “I’m aching for you.” That earned me a mischievous smirk from the woman in my arms. Before I could even question it, she had already turned around, bent over the counter and pulled the skirt of her dress up, exposing her panties-clad pussy to me.

“Just pull it to the side and get in me.” Fuck. This was it, this is how I was going to die. Hypnotized, I reached out to trace her outer lips, easily visible through the ruined cotton thanks to her wetness. It made her moan, holding tighter onto the marble before looking back over her shoulder to watch me as I slowly moved the fabric away.

Bit by bit, I fed her my cock, moving at a snail’s pace mostly because it felt like I’d tear her in two if I decided to abruptly bottom out inside of her. “Was this what you wanted?” I asked, still transfixed by the sight of her pussy so hungrily accepting my cock, especially when I reached around her to stimulate her clit and ease it in.

“Yes.” The way she said it, the wrecked state that was so clear in her voice, had me looking up to meet her eyes and finding her staring back at me with nothing but need.

“You’re so ready to be ruined, huh?”

“By you. Only if it’s by you.” A shiver went down my spine at the combination of her words and the feeling of my first thrust into her. It felt delicious, so overwhelmingly tight that I automatically thrusted into her again, then again and again.

“Yes,” she moaned again, bracing herself on the counter, and with that last confirmation I started to move frantically in and out of her, desperate to bring her the pleasure she’d been denied for so long. Desperate to possess her in the way I’d always dreamed to do.

It was like nothing I’d imagined. It was a thousand times better, to be this connected to the woman I loved, the woman I’d longed to have for so long. Everything was so intense, heightened even further by the power of the emotions flowing through me, that I felt tears rising to my eyes at the thought of this being it, this being the only time I’d get to have her like this - despite whatever reassurances she tried to give me before we kissed. I needed to hear it again.

“Tell me you want me. I need to hear that you need me just as much as I need you,” I begged, a hand curled over her throat as I pulled her body away from the counter and against my chest. “Promise me this isn’t just a one time thing, that you’re not going to leave this bathroom and go back to him after we’re done.”

This time, when our eyes met, it was through the mirror, and I could see the love in mine reflected back in hers, calming my anxieties instantly. “I want you, Steve,” she confided, and I believed her. Of course I believed her. “I want only you, Steve. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

Then I allowed myself to become fully immersed in her, taking in the smell of sex that had flooded the tiny bathroom, the sounds of our animalistic coupling reverberating off the walls.

“You’re so beautiful,” I groaned when I found myself enthralled by the image looking at me from the mirror, her lips open and bruised, indentations from my teeth in them. She looked exactly how I described, ruined, and it was all because of me. “Do you see this? Look at yourself, c’mon.”

The hand that remained around her neck while I pounded her tightened slightly, only enough to startle her into obeying me. “See?” I questioned, eyes meeting hers in the mirror, while my other hand went around her body to play with her clit again. “So damn hot.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I could barely recognize the image staring back at me, with her messy hair and glossy eyes, the satisfied look in her face enough to get me even more aroused. Behind me, Steve kept his harsh thrusts while looking at the scene we both created, his hand choking me slightly.

“How do you think he’d react if he saw just how deeply I’m fucking you?” The question caught me by surprise. For a second, I couldn’t even understand who was the “he” Steve was talking about. It felt like I was his already. Anyone else was merely a secondary character in our story.

His voice was thick as he continued to taunt the man that was still waiting for me outside, the man I’d completely forgotten about ever since Steve kissed me. “How do you think he’d react if he saw just how deeply I’m fucking you? Do you think he’d cry?”

I honestly didn’t know - and didn’t want to think about it. All I knew was that tears were falling down my cheeks from how brutally Steve was ramming me, making me lean away from his chest and brace myself on the counter again.

I barely had the time to warn him that I was cumming, because as my mouth opened to say something, my pussy was already milking him for his own orgasm. I felt his spent painting my insides, warming me up, a physical reminder that this entire moment was, in fact, very real.

My eyes caught my reflection and once more I was taken by surprise by the figure that stared back at me. There was absolutely no denying I’d been roughly fucked, and even if the state of my dress or the mess in my hair didn’t give that away, the satisfied expression in my face made it very clear.

I closed my eyes only for a second, trying to calm down my breathing and figure out where to go from here, but almost immediately, Steve’s fingers were tightening around my hips, calling for my attention.

“Don’t fall asleep on me, sweetheart.” His deep chuckle elicited one of my own, but since his cock was still nestled deep inside of me, the reverberations running through my body ended up turning it into a moan. “Fuck, I don’t want to leave this pussy to deal with that one, but I really should.”

My eyes widened as I realized what he was saying. “You… You’d really do that for me?” He was okay with talking to Tom so I wouldn’t have to look at him, fear his reaction as I announced we were done?

I knew it was weak of me, but I was vulnerable at that moment. I needed this support, as cowardice as it may seem. And Steve understood it apparently, if the way he kissed my neck to relax me was any indication.

“I’d do anything for you. Dealing with that man will be more of a personal pleasure… I don’t make any promises about his physical integrity when I’m done with him, though.” I thought back to some hard memories that I’d have to carry with me due to my relationship with Tom, and I found that I was sincerely okay with whatever it was that Steve would do to him.

Seeing Steve prepare to leave me was hard, though. Having him inside of me, having his warm presence left me feeling safe and supported. Knowing I’d have to be without him, at least for a few minutes, made me cold.

It was like he knew it, because just before leaving, he turned around to look me in the eye and confirmed, “Meet you back in my room?” That had me opening up a smile to him, nodding in excitement. And I couldn’t resist teasing him one last time, hopefully leaving some interesting thoughts to get him back to me as soon as possible.

“I’ll be waiting on all fours.”

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