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coffee-bat · 3 years

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sure i do! (posting screenshot of ask for easier formatting)

(also, i have a whump headcannons ask that i've been compiling the response to for the past weeks (anon who asked, i'm so sorry it's taking so long, i'm not ignoring your ask), so this one will focus strictly on everything OTHER than whump.)

- he often bites his nails when stressed, or even just bored (or when he has no cigar on hand. he has a thing for chewing/nibbling on things). stopping himself from doing it is one of the reasons he wears gloves (other than for warmth and to shield his hands from damage), as having his nails bit too short is painful and can make his work almost impossible. (saying this as a nail biter. you literally CANNOT use a finger that you bit the nail of too short)

- speaking of stimming, aside from biting things, he uses the compass around his neck as a stim toy. it's useless around him, as his own magnetic field renders it impossible to point north as it should, but he'll often play with it by making it spin through altering his field. it requires both focus and a small bit of physical effort, effectively taking his mind off whatever's stressing him, at least for a short bit until he gets bored.

- he thinks he can cook, but anyone who's ever tried his cooking strongly disagrees. while his techniques are okay, like he doesn't burn or undercook stuff, the things he makes are borderline inedible. (he once made a party cheese salad for a family meeting and lowkey bonded with moreau over him being the only one to like the atrocity)

- he's the youngest of the lords (with the age order being alcina>moreau>donna>karl). donna looks younger than him, however it's mostly because of his healing factor being worse than the others', making him actually age (even if very slow) instead of being stuck in time.

- he DESPISES family meetings, along with the family dinners miranda keeps insisting on (which take place either at the castle or at donna's place, as moreau's reservoir and the factory are unsuited for that to say the least), but the latter's redeeming factor is that, if he's lucky, he gets a unique opportunity to fuck with alcina. which usually means eating her out of house and home (using the fact that she's too proud of her good manners to refuse a guest), getting drunk, wrecking her house (muddy boots who?) and then passing out somewhere. it gives him the opportunity to make himself her problem and he loves that. (i've actually started work on a comic a few weeks ago where alcina kicks karl off a random couch she finds him on (in a food coma), a shitposty thing with a SLIGHTLY wholesome-ish ending (as wholesome as alcina gets), but it was taking so long that i just gave up at some point. though, if any of y'all would like to see it finished, let me know, it'd be easier to motivate myself to do it if i knew anyone actually wanted me to lol)

- he holds animals close to his heart but would hate to admit it, in fear of appearing weak or soft. claims that he lets the one (1) cat stay in his factory ONLY because it helps with rats, totally not for company because he's a sad lonely man, what are you talking about.

-he's neither a cat or dog person, he likes both equally, but it'd be far harder to keep a dog in his quarters, seeing as it would require both more space and regular walks + playtime, while a cat is perfectly happy with just getting to sleep on him at night (in terms of contact/bonding).

- though, while he doesn't have a dog, he lowkey treats the lycans as such. keeps them under his control solely through giving them dog treats he buys from the duke. (took him a long time and lots of claw/teeth injuries to figure that out, but hey, better late than never).

--warning: the next few paragraphs discuss weight insecurity and body dysmorphia. i'll let you know when the segment ends so you can skip it if it's triggering or makes you uncomfortable--

- he's insecure about his body, both the scars littered across it and his weight. the first can't be helped and he's aware of it, however the latter TECHNICALLY CAN be and thus it bothers him far more. he used to be in a better shape, both mentally and physically, before his life was completely consumed by his work and plans of the rebellion, however these days, he just can't afford to focus on keeping himself in shape (he doesn't have the time and energy to exercise outside of the weight lifting he has to do while working, and same goes for taking care of his diet. cooking and eating balanced food takes too much time and energy, making him resort to whatever is the quickest to make and will keep him going through the day). he feels intense discomfort when looking at younger pictures of himself, he can't help but feel that he has "let himself go" in the recent years, however simultanously doesn't have the time and energy to do anything about it. it's frustrating and makes him feel out of control.

- alcina once touched on the topic while arguing with him, and it fucked him up. up until then he clang onto the small bit of hope that maybe noone has noticed the changes in his body, that maybe it was just him that was hypersensitive to it and in reality it wasn't that visible, and alcina's comment instantly shattered it. not only did she notice, but she apparently considered it worthy of using against him. there goes his last bit of confidence.

- it was one of the very few times she has seen him actually cry (before storming off to hide himself in his factory). it was also one of the few times she had apologized to him. she has made comments about his height and general looks before, and it never seemed to bother him, he always retorded back with a snarky remark targeted back at her, so she truly thought he had no insecurity issues- but this time, for the first time, he just looked hurt, almost disbelieving, and ran away without a word. it made her initial anger melt away instantly, realizing what she did. she ran after him a few minutes later, hoping it wasn't too late and she hadn't done unreversable damage. the whole incident was a major blow to her ego, especially as she was forced to beg karl over the intercom to let her in, but she wouldn't have forgiven herself if she didn't tell him that she was sorry and didn't mean it. she had to admit to herself that it truly was a low blow and she couldn't let herself be carried away like this ever again.

- karl's confidence never really healed from the incident, it's not something he can just forget. but he did get a kick out of having alcina beg for forgiveness, so he considers at least that to be an upside of the whole thing.

--weight/body dysmorphia discussion ends here--

- he gets sensory overloads easily, especially from loud noise, making him snappy if there's too many people talking/making noise. he also often has issues with things touching him when he's already stressed - due to this, he keeps a hairband in his pocket at all times (to keep his hair out of his face), and has tied the belt of his trench coat behind his back so it wouldn't touch his arms while moving around (that one is actually part of his character model). having things hanging off him irritates him greatly.

- he has a tendency to cling onto/hug whatever is in his reach while he's asleep. usually it's a pillow or his blanket, but it's also a risk one should be aware of when choosing to sleep in one bed with him. you're gonna wake up in a death grip. and he's a heavy sleeper, so don't even think about going to the bathroom.

- speaking of physical affection, he loves massages, they're one of his favorite types of affection to receive. any kind of them, really. he's sore most of the time, so a bit of relief is always greatly appreciated. back/shoulders after a long day of work, tummy if his cadou is bothering him or his eating habits fucked him over again, maybe even hands if he's worked manually for too long and his palms are starting to cramp. it's all really appreciated. (another factor contributing to why he likes them is that they're completely selfless acts of affection. his partner isn't getting anything out of it (like they would with anything sexual or romantic), its only purpose is to help him feel better. makes him feel loved.)

- speaking of, he literally cried the first time ethan gave him a shoulder rub. feeling the decades worth of pain, tiredness and muscle strain that he didn't realize he felt finally fade, be washed away, made his eyes water, he couldn't help it. it wasn't long after they had moved in together (as roommates, since karl had nowhere to go), and to karl, it felt like an affirmation that it's over, he can relax, he can rest now. no need to keep overworking himself, to keep not letting himself ever catch a break because "he might like it too much and stop chasing his goal", to keep doing anything to keep himself going for years on end despite knowing it's ruining his body. it's done, it's over, he finally deserves a rest. it made ethan deeply confused and concerned before karl sobbed out why he's crying.

these are all for now, i think! at least all that comes to mind at the moment. if you'd like me to talk about headcannons on a specific subject/topic (or expand on any of these ones), let me know! i'm sure to think of something that i haven't already, or forgot to write down. i just love talking about headcannons, man.

#this bitch took me 2 hours to write i really hope you like it #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #karl heisenberg #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #headcannons #long post

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mermaidsirennikita · 3 years

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Any book recs for historical romance novels with creative sex scenes?

The thing is that I read a lot of traditionally published books, where the sex scenes can be a biiit less creative, and of course in general historicals can often be fairly explicit but not super creative. The heroines are often virgins (though that is falling out of vogue more) and there isn't a loooot going on in the realm of like, anal and group sex and sex with toys etc.

With that being said, I'll rec the Duke I'd Like to F... anthology for some higher heat novels. THEEEEE Sierra Simone contributed a novella to the anthology, though I'll also add that Nicola Davidson's Duke for Hire contribution includes a duke being paid for his services~ as well as historically accurate sex toys. I haven't read anything else by Nicola Davidson yet, but from what I understand she writes historicals more in the vein of erotic romance, and they can get kinky.

Similarly, Scarlett Peckham has made a splash for upending expectations re: sex in her books. I've only read The Lord I Left, which actually doesn't have a TON of penetrative sex in because the hero is a virgin minister, but the heroine is a dominatrix in training and there's a lot of generalized kinky vibes in it. I've also heard good things about The Duke I Tempted, in which a woman ends up in a marriage of convenience with a submissive duke.

I would recommend Sarah MacLean's One Good Earl Deserves a Lover always for the creativity of including a scene in which the heroine gets off by touching herself while the hero just.... sits there and tells her what to do. Not CRAZY, but definitely not something you see in historicals often. Her Rules of Scoundrels series probably has my favorite sex scenes she's written, as the characters often are able to kind of get out of the bedroom--there's some exhibitionism in A Rogue By Any Other Name, my favorite MacLean (the hero fucks the heroine against a window while she looks down at his casino and tells him all the shit people are doing to each other). There's boxing ring sex in No Good Duke Goes Unpunished, and the Rare Historical Swimming Pool Sex in Never Judge A Lady By Her Cover.

Elizabeth Hoyt is often willing to explore~ a little more. A lot of her Maiden Lane books feature characters having sex in places where people could potentially hear them. Scandalous Desires, my favorite Maiden Lane, features what Learning the Tropes just recently referred to as "death row head", which.... I loved. I think there's full on prison sex in that one. Sweetest Scoundrel is another one where the hero and heroine masturbate a lot in front of each other before she's down for penetrative sex (TW for trauma which caused her to be sex-averse at first). Her Raven Prince debut features a heroine pretending to be someone else so that the hero fucks her--she wears a mask throughout and it's kinda lowkey kinky?

If you're into "lemme pretend to be someone else so that this man fucks me" shit, Joanna Shupe also wrote The Courtesan Duchess, in which the heroine creates this entirely different identity so that the hero will fuck her (and get her pregnant).

Lisa Kleypas's books are more about CIRCUMSTANCE in terms of sex than a ton of crazy positions or whatever (I always wait for the moment when a Kleypas hero flips the heroine onto her stomach, HAPPENS EVERY TIME AND I LOOOVE IT) but I'd like to point out that her standalone Suddenly You features some of the only traditionally published Historical Anal Play that I've ever read, however brief it is (Kerrigan Byrne is proooobably the only other one lol). Dreaming of You famously has some adult breastfeeding at the end, Devil in Disguise is the first Kleypas I've read with 69ing. Lisa thinks about it!

Kerrigan Byrne is probably alongside Elizabeth Hoyt in there being a lot of like.... idk, there's just an undercurrent of kink to a lot of what they both write, even if it isn't as WILD AND CRAZY~ as what you might find in some indies and contemporaries. I always cite the Glove Scene in The Highwayman, which not only has the hero fuck the heroine while wearing leather gloves, but also has him tie her up a few times. With his plaid, of course. Another interesting.... detail of her books that is so cuckoo bananas lol is that the male members of this one family? Come twice? In rapid succession? Like, the refractory period is nonexistent. This happens in The Highwayman, The Highlander, and The Scot Beds His Wife. I'll also call out The Hunter, as there's a lot of "kiss me/kill me" tension in that one as the hero is literally paid to kill the heroine. He also has an aversion to looking at people when he fucks them, which leads to some fun shenanigans during the sex scenes.

Hope this helps!

#romance novel blogging

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ae0nx · 3 years

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FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 1 + 2 RECAP!

Yayyy! Season 3! Finally! I’m hoping this season will make me understand/sympathise with Akito and maybe even Shigure a little bit more because... honestly? My opinions on episode 2?... I might get some flack for my opinions on them... 😬

But, first: I’d like to appreciate how on the Funimation app we got a little interview/message from a few of the english dub VAs! Specifically Colleen Clinkenbeard, Jerry Jewell, Eric Vale, Ian Sinclair and Brina Palencia (Akito, Kyo, Yuki, Kureno and Isuzu). And it was nice seeing some of their opinions of the characters they play and how much they’re emotionally invested in the story. (Ian’s such a nerd ‘I wanna see giant mechs later this season’ 😂 - I lowkey stan him lol)

You should definitely check it out if you’re interested in what they would have to say!

ANYWAYS, let’s get into it...

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EPISODE 1

I really love this depiction of the original zodiac and how you can just tell from the tone of the scene how desperately the God of the Zodiac was clinging on to these connections that they had with the participants in the banquet. How much they clung on to and loved the cat... Also, interesting how Tohru’s narrating this scene... almost like she can relate to the desperation of wanting to keep things the same... but we’ll get to that later. But also, Tohru is a God

This new opening is beautiful, I love the way that camera moves around the still illustrations and how the general tone just hammers down that... this season is gonna be some real shit lol (which makes me nervous for the opening for the second half 😳). It’s so warped and the general blue, grey and black tone that follows around every Akito scene we get in the anime has bled into every scene in this opening concerning the rest of the zodiac. Almost... like something is decaying. It’s great, it’s just very sad lol. I love the song tho, issa bop.

One of my favourite things in stories is when we get a bigger villain than the ‘pronounced’ villain of the story. Ren’s introduction through a manicured outstretched hand towards Kureno and Hatori is so weirdly gross in what it insinuates (especially when you apply her connection with Shigure) but again... I wanna know why she’s such an asshole to Akito specifically besides the bad mental health management within the Sohma compound. I have an inkling of what it is through memory of the manga, but like Akito and Shigure... I just wanna understand why.

Also, Ren is gorgeous and I’m sorry for simping.

I mean... she’s kinda got a point? She just didn’t need to be so mean about it lol. It’s pretty clear that the connection the zodiac have to each other is real and something they cannot control. BUT, wouldn’t it be easier if this connection wasn’t perpetuated by outer circles of the family and if Akito herself wasn’t so cruel about it? But, I guess Akito - through her relationship with her mother - kinda doesn’t know how to genuinely show love and affection. (Which brings me into my thoughts of how the manga ends and how I kinda... have a few problems with it which I will get to... when that comes lol)

Lol - weeeeeeeee! (flashes back to Tohru being yeeted into the river). Is this a part of Akito’s god-like powers?!

Again. She’s got a point! They’ve both got a point. But, they’re both the source of the problem. It’s really painful to see two mentally ill people duke it out. This whole institution is just rotten.

- I am super curious about what Akira’s relationship was like with the zodiac and if it was just as dark. I’m gonna assume it slightly already was, as the exclusion and degradation of the cat curse is already dark in itself but maybe the rest of the zodiac were just fine with how things were? I dunno if we actually will get the full backstory of Akira and his zodiac but I’m definitely intrigued

Ok, but if four crying children came up to me after I’d just consummated with my partner to reach out at my stomach chanting ‘we’ve been waiting for you’. That would disturb me and scar me for a while too so... 😂. I know it’s supposed to be ethereal and spiritual but... dude, wtf lol

...I don’t like how much I’m into Ren being such a Villain™ 😅

- Akito being seen as a crying child by the older zodiac members has always been interesting to me because yes, they could see her as that through mainly the age gap, general empathy and the way she sometimes irrationally acts out. But, also the depiction of Gods being seen as children having tantrums has being reflected in many different beliefs and myths (especially Greek Mythology) and I just like the fact that this all powerful, all knowing being would be compared to a child. It gives you a different perspective on power.

- Is the paper note in the CD case that Kureno gave back to Tohru an extra addition or was it always there?...

Mannnn... I really wanted Isuzu to fuck shit up after seeing Tohru so upset but... *le sigh* (outfit’s still on point)

But, I’m so glad we get an equal Ethereal Goddess to save Tohru! HANAJIMA! We love her, we stan her. <3

- ‘Tohru will be in my custody’ 🤣 I personally think Hana’s bluntness was a kindness in her conversation with Yuki because if I found Tohru upset? I’d automatically start firing metaphorical shots at everyone in that house

- Shigure fearing Hana makes me sleep better at night <3

Hana’s just like ‘hmm... sounds like someone I know... 👀’ I’m here for this parallel between Tohru and Kureno in the hopes that Tohru doesn’t ever get in as bad a situation as Kureno. Ahhh... Kureno... (Also, Laura Bailey was killing it in this scene as always)

- Hmmm... there’s something terribly poetic about Kyo saving Tohru’s scarf from oncoming traffic... but also, Kyo can’t help himself aha

KWEEEN! I love this look for Uo, it’s very Kyoko. I already said this in Season 1 but I STILL need to get wool-lined jacket. Outfit Appreciation goes to her - 3.5 stars.

<3<3<3 Friendship is magic!

- Megumi is such a good egg as always! From him going to get Uo to him being so wise with his outlook on love and how it takes time to really flourish. The best!

- This whole episode ends really nicely from Tohru’s return home and Kyo washing and returning Tohru’s scarf and Yuki being happy to see Tohru and Shigure being somewhat decent. It was nice to get a bit of relief after the tornado of emotions

Also, this was a nice screencap! Even Kyo is smiling!!! :))))

EPISODE 2

*takes sip of wine* ...ok.

👀... later lol

This scene really highlighted how Tohru is starting to see Shigure and the whole zodiac curse in a new and darker way. For the first time, it felt like Tohru was a little bit more guarded around Shigure and I hope they delve more into this season. Her description of her feeling around the curse being like a ‘dark well with no bottom in sight’ is pretty spot on. Ugh.

Aw! Is this the last we’re getting of Small!Momiji?! I love them :3 (Momiji’s shorts look a little shorter too, like he’s growing out of them ahaha)

- I haven’t found the Yuki fan club funny since their first scene in the anime but their poor disguises made me chuckle

- Yayyy! Kyo has an obsessive fan club too? ...Yay?? 😅 haha

- ‘I won’t kill them but they can go to hell’ why is Kyo speaking like me?! 😂

The fact that we got a scene of Yuki kinda admirably looking at a group of friends (boys and girls) playfully physically interacting and he unconsciously reaches out to Machi almost like he forgot about the curse? Heart eyes... 🥰

Again. Relatable. 😂 God, Yuki. You really are an airhead. Bless your soul. <3

And that look says it all. Damn. Kyo’s sense of hopelessness is heartbreaking but I still stand by it being understandable considering his circumstances.

Kyo freaking out about Tohru being visually upset was super cute but I couldn’t even appreciate the fluff because the whole scene had such a morbid tone to it, despite it being so visually romantic:

KYO’S FACE!!! 💔 Ahhh, my emotions!!!! Also, that shot from Tohru’s perspective under her bangs is great.

- Poor Mitsuru, I’d ask for extra pay just for dealing with Shigure’s ass.

Hahah - what a great metaphor!

- Now that Shigure’s ‘true form’, so to speak, has been fully exposed all his comments that are supposed to be teasing come off so much more awful. Him insinuating Mitsuru wasn’t ‘upper class’ enough for Ritsu was awful

COLLLDDDD. AS. IIIIIIICE. But seriously, Shigure this whole episode was cold in many different ways but I definitely felt this personally since I’ve been told something like this by a family member before... 😕 Also, it’s just gross how both Shigure and Akito are taking their own personal issues and mistrust of each other out on to other people. The curse and the institution behind the curse complicates a lot of feelings for sure, but there’s a difference between wrong and right and I get the general feeling that they both are just using the muddy waters to their advantage. Although, I feel like Shigure is taking more advantage of this than Akito but I’ll get into that in a bit.

- There’s also something about this episode that made me sympathise a lot more with Kureno in a more understandable way. But, it also makes me question the ending of this whole story and the resolutions that happen and what life for the whole Sohma institution/family looks like after the curse has broken.. I guess, I should read ‘Fruits Basket Another’ after this, huh?

😳... Shigure is so petty, man. Really?!

So...

I hate this relationship. I’m sorry. I know there are loads of people who like this relationship. And I’m still giving myself space for the show and the story to convince me why it’s worth it. But... I really don’t like this relationship. It’s so toxic. In so many ways. And in a weird way, this scene made me feel a LITTLE bit more for Akito than Shigure. It feels like Shigure gaslights everyone in his life but none no more than Akito, herself. I hate the fact that he keeps saying he loves her while hurting her or disregarding her. You know, almost like he’s treating her like a child. But on the other hand, I hate the fact that Akito has lowkey gaslighted herself into thinking she can treat people however she wants because she is ‘God’. I understand this is part of the way she was brought up and it seems like life in the Sohma compound has been very isolating for her so there’s been no one really to show her better (or have the confidence to show her better). But, at least I can be a little bit more sympathetic on her side than Shigure’s. I dunno... it’s just all very ugly and toxic and I’m hoping that it’ll turn around somehow.

I just hope it’s not one of those relationships that are ‘so good cos it’s so bad’.

...I’ll briefly talk about the ending theme to end this on a good note lol:

I really like this ending! I dunno if they’re gonna have two endings and two openings for this season but this ending definitely feels like it should’ve gone in the second half as it’s almost spoiler-y? But, then again what anime opening and ending isn’t packed with spoilers lol

All the illustrations are gorgeous, I’m assuming they were drawn by Takaya-sensei herself as it seems very much in her current style of artistry but my favourite illustrations are definitely the ones shown above! <3

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Ahhh! Fin! Sorry, about this one being super long and you probably having to scroll past a whole lot on your dash 😝 As usual, I had a lot to say. I’m open to hearing from people who actually like Shigure and Akito’s relationship btw, it’s just that everything before and episode 2 just really didn’t sail the ship for me, personally. I do want to understand! Haha

See you soooon!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket season 3 #fruits basket 2021

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jq37 · 4 years

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The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 3

Keep Sharp

On the Road Again

Welcome back to Calorum you guys. We last left off witnessing an actual miracle as a group of cheese assassins masquerading as meatlanders (and Brennan by proxy) failed to kill a single Candian, Tartguard included.

Now, everyone is picking up the pieces. Amethar is still messed up from the fight so he’s being tended to. Liam and some of the NPCs are working on clearing the tree from the road. Ruby, still covered in blood, is in one of the carriages and when she uses Prestidigitation to clear the blood from a circus flyer she was carrying, Calroy walks in and grabs her hand to stop her as a reflex. He quickly drops her hand--very bold move to grab one of the princesses like that--and tries to impress on her that the rest of the world isn’t like Candia and she really really needs to stop with the casual magic when they’re on the road. Ruby is really naively taken aback and frustrated by this information but Calroy describes it like it’s business as usual. Her aunt, Lazuli, has the title of Archmage but the official position is that the title is an archaic holdover from less enlightened times and she was simply a really good alchemist--even though everyone knows that’s untrue. That’s politics bay-bee! Lapin joins the conversation (along with Theo shortly after) and says that if people knew where he got his powers from, he’d be dead (which seems a weird thing to say with Calroy in earshot).

Outside, Liam is chopping up the tree and finds these little peppermint acorn things called Heartseeds which are basically concentrated, ambient, magical energy that can grant small wishes. Preston eats them and gains a fly speed of 40 (but it’s like he’s a firework--he has to land after 40 feet). Jet finds Liam and asks for help with keeping an eye on Ruby. She’s pretty shook after seeing her almost die. Liam is down to do it for nothing (the kid just wants to be included) but Jet insists on being in his debt and--always on brand--he just asks for some cool seeds. She also finds a meat shield that’s made out of gross, burnt, stuck-to-the-pan meat bits that she names Burnt Ends.

They get going again and in the PC wagon you have all the PCs but Jet (who is outside with the guards and Grissini) along with Cruller and his wife--Lady Donetta. She chats with Grissini for a little bit while the adults try to get her to get in the carriage. She’s finally swayed by Ruby but when she comes in she says she wasn’t (just) flirting. She was trying to get intel on how in trouble Ruby was. Liam offers that he speaks Ceresian so he can spy if they need him to and also did anyone have any dreams last night? Theo--who is trying to keep everyone alive and was like so close to being impressed by Liam--along with Lapin and Cruller try to get everyone back on track but Ruby--defiantly--is all, “They’re not gonna kill me. I’m a princess!” Theo points out that someone almost killed her literally ten minutes ago and Cruller points out that death isn’t the only bad thing that can happen to a person. She could get forcibly put in a monastery for instance. Jet is not even having that in hypothetical-land and says that as the heir princess, she would lay the smackdown on anyone who tried to do that.

It looks like things are about to dissolve into overlapping gibberish but Amethar does the dad thing of putting his foot down and yelling at everyone to get along before taking a dad nap passing out from his injuries. Lady Donetta patches him up while Cruller once again talks about the importance of politics. It’s not just them that have to play this game. The Meatlanders are polytheistic generally but all Bulbian on paper. Jet thinks this whole song and dance is ridiculous and should be changed once she has more sway in politics, but she’s willing to shut up for now. She’s also willing to keep Lapin’s secret, but him bringing it up sparks Cruller’s interest. Lapin tries to gloss over it but Liam chimes in that he’s sorry about breaking his teacup. Lapin shuts him up (Liam on a low Insight check thinks he hates him) and rolls a 14 to get Cruller off his back.

Secrets and Lies

As they cross the border into Fructerra, Sir Theo invites Ruby and Jet out for some fresh air and they invite Liam which he goes along with even though it’s clear he wanted to talk to the sisters alone. As soon as they’re out of earshot of everyone Theo turns off the scold and says that regardless of everything they’re all saying, Ruby absolutely needs to keep studying magic. He says that he was a ward of Lazuli who taught him some magic (including animating Sprinkle) and he has a whole-ass lore dump for them that he was planning on subtly revealing over time but now’s the time for getting everybody up to speed ASAP not mentoring from the shadows:

He says that Lazuli--who, like Ruby and Jet, wanted magic to be acceptable and not relegated to the shadows of one kingdom--was doing arcane research into wild stuff like immortality that would have advanced the world a lot further than its current state. She died sacrificing herself in a battle where she was the only Candian casualty. Theo was there and, before she sent him away, she said that she needed to do it to, “save [their] people and save [their] world.” He didn’t get what she meant and why that would be literally the hill she--a princess and Archmage--would choose to die on but he knows she would sometimes have visions of the future and he thinks she might have known Ruby was coming and needed to ensure that timeline happened. Ruby--who is outraged that this is the first she’s hearing of all of this and shocked that Theo is suddenly cool (“I've always been cool! All of us are cool!”) still doesn’t want to do all this “book stuff” or embrace any kind of magical destiny and even Jet is like, “Come on girl.” Anyway, Sir Theo tells them they just need to be chill and lowkey and he’ll hook them up with magical training and banned books for Jet. He also promises to teach Ruby the Find Familiar spell.

Liam helps Lady Donetta with herbal remedies for Amethar and he comes back at full health. Amethar gets to talking about Liam’s dad who he says had Liam’s knack from nature stuff and taught him (Amethar) how to fight. Calroy chimes in that his dad and Amethar fought together in the Ravening War. He also says that Liam being a hostage (he outright calls him a hostage) is what lets his dad not join the Concord (the kind of ride or die, post Ravening War pact everyone else is in) and remain an independent rebel state. Apparently, he seceded because, King Jadin (Amethar’s Dad--the past king), would not uphold Candia’s alliances. Liam’s dad (Duke Joren Jawbreaker) turned traitor to go fight with their Dairy Island allies.

It takes another couple of days to get to Comida and, on the way there, Ruby learns and casts the Find Familiar spell--netting her a butterscotch falcon that she names Yak after the noise he makes. She hopes he’ll be friends with Sprinkle because Siobhan knows that the second real objective of every D&D campaign (after making friends) is acquiring pets and having them play with each other (which is in direct opposition to the DM goal of not letting any of your players have any pets).

Cruller checks in with Theo about the secret magic lessons and also says that he’s looked into it and the imperial soldiers who saw Ruby do magic are gossiping. Grissini is shutting some of it down so it’s not spreading like wildfire but it’s really just a matter of time. Cruller tries to get more specifics about what Jet and Lapin were talking about (his Sugarplum magic) and Theo dodges the question. Cruller says that he can be more helpful if he’s in the loop but doesn’t push further.

Faces and Names

We have made it to Comida and, after a quick House Rocks family heart to heart, it’s time for a parade of a BUNCH of new characters:

Manta Ray Jack: Man at Arms of House Cheddar and one of Amethar’s Ravening War buddies. A literal 2 foot tall cube of cheese. He also has a tattoo of a Manta Ray on his arm which isn’t important to the plot but is important to me that you know.

Sir Morris Brie: Knight of House Cheddar, Master of State to the Duchess (who we’ll get to next) and another Dairy Island buddy of Amethar.

Duchess Primsy Coldbottle: A literal bottle of milk, 16-year-old regent of House Cheddar (Duchess of Lacramor specifically) and ruler of the Dairy Islands. On a nat 20, Ruby knows that Prince Tarthur Cheddar was the prince during the Ravening Wars but died. She also knows about…

Captain Annabelle Cheddar: (Captain of the Colby) who is this cool, naval, battle-ready lady that Ruby sees hanging out with a bunch of solider women fighters and having a great time while Primsy is talking to her advisors. Apparently, Anabelle should be the rightful heir to the Dairy Islands but was stripped of her title because she refused to marry (hmm) which Ruby thinks is sick as hell. She goes to chat her up and finds out that she’ll be fighting in the Melee part of the tourney.

Senator Augustus Ciabatta: A full bread person who’s a senator from the very populous Ceresia and he’s throwing coins to the people from his palanquin. (I want it on the record that I feel an episode called Bread and Circuses coming.)

Prince Cabbage: The adult son of King Cabbage. His palanquin is the second largest. The largest belongs to...

Hierophant Rex Belizabeth Brassica: She is basically the Bulb Pope. She’s like a green woman with broccoli hair. She and Lapin have met before before she became pope. They quickly talk and she invites him to tag along as they pay their respects to the Emperor. He agrees to go. She’s followed around by Archbishop Onionpatch (another Primogen from Greenhold in Vegetania).

Theo is a little nervous about Amethar cozying up to all these dairy people considering the attack but Amethar insists he can handle himself. There’s a big feast set up and Amethar goes to talk to Primsy who is just super sweet and seems to know she has a lot of responsibility that she is trying her level best to uphold. She’s like the anti Jet and Ruby and Brennan...if something happens to her...I swear...

Anyway, Theo is scanning the room for trouble and he sees (1) That Anabelle is looking at Amethar forlornly from across the room (maybe like she wishes she could be in the room where it happens so to speak?) and (2) there is a young Dairy nobleman stealth flirting with Primsy. Amethar asks Sir Brie about the attack and he says they had nothing to do with it. They don’t have the resources after the war which was fought largely in the Dairy Isles. He seems to blame Anabelle at least partially for the diminished power of House Cheddar based on the dirty look he shoots her when he mentions the state of the state. Amethar reiterates that the alliance between Candia and the Dairy Isles is solid and Manta Ray Jack pops in to casually drop that Amethar had a war girlfriend (lover? idk what the proper terminology is here) in the Far East Isles back in the day so I’m sure that’s gonna become relevant at the worst possible moment.

Brennan also curses us by unleashing Thad (Jet’s avocado pen pal boyfriend) onto the story and as soon as Jet re-meets this poncy, French-y, horny, avocado she’s like “I made a huge mistake” and later gets him to “meet her outside” so she can ditch him.

Theo goes with Liam to check up on Primsy because he’s concerned with whatever is going on with her and that cheese boy who he learns is her traveling companion--Lord Stilton Curdeau. And it’s covered by cologne but his cheese stink is familiar. He wants to alert Amethar but Amethar is currently eyeing Basha Myaso (Warlord of the Beef Clans and ruler of all of the Meatlands) who is glaring at him. On Calroy’s advice, he squares up with Basha who implies that Candia is responsible for the false flag attack. Amethar tells him to “watch [his] fucking mouth.” Diplomacy!

Meanwhile, Lapin is with the Pontifex in the Great Food Pyramid (which is, of course, a thing). She introduces him to Sir Keradin Deeproot who is this super buff super intense carrot Paladin. We learn that Lapin isn’t an archbishop and his title of primogen comes from his status as a “miracle worker”. Apparently, Miracle working is very uncommon even though the Bulbian church is so massive. When asked, Onionpatch says that things in Vegetania are fine except that King Belvedere Cabbage is infirm. Another Priogem--this one of Cersia--joins them, the Archbishop Fettucina Alfredi who is this very classically beautiful looking, toga wearing woman with glowing eyes--she’s also a miracle worker. Lapin is like, “Oh fuck,” because if she’s magic too then she might be able to tell that he’s not actually on the level.

Lapin veers away from Alfredi and chats up the Pontifex who says Brightgarden is OK but they're currently dealing with a murder of an archbishop in the Meatlands (the Archbishop Raddica). Lord Basha is looking for who did it and the Pontifex wants them brought to justice ASAP. Alfredi brings up the attack on the road and wonders about the rumors she heard about strange magic. Lapin, sweating bullets, lies and says that he thinks it was the work of the Bulb. On a 14 Deception from Lapin, Alfredi thinks lavender fog would be a weird Bulbian intercession. It sounds more like something a false good she’s heard about from Candia would do. What’s her name? The Sugarplum Fairy? Lapin, with a 25 Persuasion check, is able to wave that off as primitive backwoods things that he’s working to stamp out in Candia. That’s enough to get the Pontifex on his side and they go up to see the Emperor.

Outside of his room is his daughter--Lady Plumbeline Uvano--who is lowkey very upset about something. She greets them and then takes the Pontifex in to talk to the Emperor while Lapin waits outside with Alfredi and Kerradin. When she’s done paying the respects of the church, the whole holy crew goes back to the party. Before Lapin splits off, the Pontifex does a little pull aside with him about Candia’s role in the war and how she thinks, with him at the helm, Candia is in good hands.

At Sir Theo's suggestion, Amethar has the Candy Crew stand with the Cheese Peeps during the announcement of the tourney which is a big deal because it’s a symbol that the alliance is still on even though they were attacked by cheese bandits. Primsy introduces herself to the princesses and gives them cool, milksilk handkerchiefs she embroidered herself with a candy cane crossed with a cheese cube on a stick with their house words: There is Strength in Sweetness. She doesn’t have one for Liam but gives him hers (it has her house words: Keep Sharp) on the condition he joins the archery competition and fights for her. With not a 15 between the 6 of them (even w/ multiple help actions) none of the PCs have presents for anyone else.

The tourney is announced. There are three events, each with a dope prize. Winner of the melee gets a boon from the emperor at the end of his rule. The winner of the archery contest gets a seat on the Cornucopian Council, the title of Master of Arrows, and is made advisor to the next emperor (which seems like a LOT to put on a person whose main skill is “can shoot arrows well” but OK sure). The winner of the joust gets to name a candidate for Emperor from any class or house they wish and their choice must be considered. Ruby and Liam join the archery contest. Theo signs up for the joust. Jet is hesitant but Amethar convinces her to join the melee with him. She also scratches “The Dairy Islands Rule!” into a piece of wood for Primsy and she’s charming enough that Primsy doesn’t think it’s a slipshod afterthought.

An imperial courier shows up and tells Theo the Emperor wants to talk to Amethar. He brings all the PCs and Calroy. Lady Plumbeline is still outside her dad’s room and she’s still pissed. On a 24 Insight check, Theo can tell that--as I suspected from episode 1--she is pretty ticked that she has all this institutional knowledge and competence and experience but, because of an arbitrary rule, she can’t take the throne. She tells Amethar (who she met when she was a teen) that they need to limit how many people go in as to not overwhelm him. He takes Lapin and Theo (who gives Sprinkle to Jet) and goes in to talk to Uvano.

Uvano, as we already know, was another Ravening War buddy of Amethar’s and another person he’s seen piss and shit--which we learn because that’s apparently how Amethar classifies who his best friends are. They talk the way old buddies do and Uvano asks what he would say about his life taking a surprising turn. Amethar says that if it was anyone else asking, he probably wouldn’t be on board but for Uvano? He’ll do it. That’s just what he wanted to hear.

And that’s where we end the episode without rolling initiative because the combat in the next episode is all fun and games and to quote Lou Wilson--who I suspect is about to become the wrongest person in D20 history--“It’s all sparring. Nobody is going to get killed.”

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.

You Should Know

Country Accents seen to be as follows: Dairy (Scottish), Meat (Russian), Fruit (French), Grain (Italian), Candy (American/British)

In the long awaited sequel to “Kristen Has -3 Dex,” Liam has a -2 to Charisma.

Ruby speaks Lacra (Dairy-speak).

The Meatlander gods include The Great Cow, The Great Boar, and The Great Hen.

The head beef dude has a super jacked T-Bone steak wife who I assume we’ll get a name for during the melee next episode. Update, courtesy of @fjordgofurther--we did get a name this ep. Her name is Scravoya.

The Bulbian concept of hell/the devil involves the “Hungry Ones” which just serves to underline that Brennan really did think this crazy thing all the way through and still decided to not do it but to DO it.

Everyone levels up every episode I believe since D20 uses milestone leveling for the main seasons but Ruby and Jet leveled up twice to level 3 to help catch them up a little now that they have a story reason to be stronger.

Things I’m Concerned About

Uvano is only in his 60s. Like, people die in their 60s but that detail casually mentioned in a setting like this always brings up the possibility of poison or some other kind of sabotage.

The second Brennan mentioned the daughter of Uvano in passing ep 1, I clocked it and the situation is basically what I was anticipating it seems. Like, of course she’s pissed. I would be too. I wonder if either the boon or the chance to offer up a candidate could be used to override the Concord rules? Either way, gotta keep an eye on her. Also, I noticed the little flippant remark she had for the Pontifex (“This is Fructerra, I’m dressed for court.”) and I don’t know if that’s distaste for the church or something more personal but it seemed interesting enough to mention.

I know that the improvisational nature of D&D means that there’s not foreshadowing in the same way that you have in something fully set like a book or a movie but every time the Rocks family gets together for a sweet (ha) conversation (“We just want to protect you, Pop.”) I am just more and more sure we are being set up for a fall.

Lou Wilson’s defining trait as a D&D player is doing what his character would do and letting it play out to its logical conclusion, consequences be damned--consequences be welcomed even. And Amethar is--como se dice--no Calroy when it comes to politics. I can’t imagine these facts at up to any kind of happy sum.

Also, speaking of, I wanna trust Calroy, but I can’t. He’s too good at this. He’s too competent. He knows too much information and Amethar trusts him too much. Hope he proves me wrong but I will not be made a fool of by a slice of cake. Do you hear me Brennan? I REFUSE.

I've only had Primsy for a week, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself. No but, seriously, if she is just as she appears to be (and this is GoT so I guess it’s not off the table that she’s secretly like bad and it would have taken a 30 Insight check to find out) then MAN I am so scared for her. Characters who are just trying their best to do a good job are my Kryptonite and she is as much in the wrong genre as the twins are. Moreso even.

I’m concerned Amethar has a cheesecake baby somewhere out there that’s gonna end up being a Problem. Oh my god what if one of the twins dies and their backup character is Amethar’s illegitimate kid?

The Bulbian Church has so much power but so little magic which seems...odd. Also, just curious, what is a Paladin without divine magic? Isn’t that just a fighter?

I very much vibe with the concept of Alfredi as a character but lol I was STRESSED for Lapin during that whole conversation and I feel like that’s gonna be my default state for him all season.

I’m concerned (or maybe just suspicious) that there’s more to the backstory with Theo and Lazuli than we heard. That little extra narration from Brennan about swearing he could feel her smile? Mmm, OK.

Five More Things

The character art for this season cracks me up because Brennan clearly gave the artist for this season two lists and one list was labeled “Hot” and one was labeled “Ridiculous” and that’s how we got characters like Primsy and Calroy in the same scene as Anabelle and Grissini and the funniest part is Brennan’s absolute refusal to play any of these characters like they’re any more or less ridiculous than any of the others. He’s like, “The hot pasta woman is valid and the talking cheese cube is EQUALLY VALID.”

“Not this season. Not season five.” Very bold of Brennan to be outraged about Emily trying to ride a living sprinkle dog like that's the ridiculous thing about a world with a living sprinkle dog.

The Sucorsi Road running into the Glucian Road for Sucrose and Glucose is the kind of worldbuilding detail that I love.

I was gonna be so mad at Brennan for the nonsense that is the name “Belizabeth” but he said on Adventuring Party that he was specifically dunking on GRRM with that so he gets a pass this time.

You know that famous Pixar meeting/lunch where they came up with Bugs Life, Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo, and Wall-E in one conversation? I bet Brennan had a similar brainstorming sesh where he came up with Garthy, Anabelle, and two other thirst traps that haven’t been introduced yet. Like come on. He described her hair as, “princely”? Brennan is trying to kill some of y’all.

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #the royal report

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ja-ckkelly · 5 years

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Musical Theatre Tropes/Things I Never Get Tired Of

The Runaway New Yorker - mc wants to leave NYC because they feel like they aren't achieving anything there. Like a typical New Yorker, they want to leave for someplace warm and sunny (probably Santa Fe). They almost leave when they lose hope, but then they realize that their home is in New York City with their friends-turned-family.

Ex. Usnavi (In The Heights), Jack Kelly (Newsies), Mark, Roger, Angel, and Collins (Rent)

Kickass Female Trio - probably have a song where they sing about how powerful they are and how everyone bows down to them. Adored by the whole fandom. They also have this iconic pose that everyone can recognize. Also have a distinct colour palette among their outfits. The leader is the most powerful, popular, and feared of them all and is in the center of their pose & the main singer of their song. She's somehow defeated in a later part of Act 1. The second-in-command takes over for the leader and is at her right. The innocent sidekick is at the leader's left & she's very youthful and childlike. Has yellow somewhere in her outfit. She's likely to be an alto.

Ex. Angelica (leader), Eliza (2nd-I-C), and Peggy (IS) - the Schuyler Sisters (Hamilton) | H. Chandler (leader), H. Duke (2nd-I-C), H. McNamara (IS) - the Heathers (Heathers) | Regina (leader), Gretchen (2nd-I-C), Karen (IS) - the Plastics (Mean Girls)

The Seductress Song - hot young woman breaks into lead male's house in her own song where she belts some mad vocals and then flirts with him cause she wants him.

Ex. Mimi Marquez - Out Tonight (Rent), Maria Reynolds - Say No To This (Hamilton), Veronica Sawyer - Dead Girl Walking (Heathers)

The "My Life Sucks and I'm Struggling Because I'm Poor and I Have To Work and I'm Too Young For That BS, but life goes on" song - It's probably a bunch of oppressed New Yorkers singing that.

Ex. In The Heights (In The Heights), Carrying The Banner (Newsies), It's A Hard-Knock Life (Annie), Rent (Rent)

The romance between the Girl Who Has It All and the Boy Who Has Nothing trope - also self-explanatory. The girl's father is probably wealthy or respected.

Ex. Alexander & Eliza (Hamilton), Jack & Katherine (Newsies), Nina & Benny (In The Heights)

The Silly Little Banter Between Two Love Interests song - the two characters are lowkey into one another, but they're like, fighting-flirting.

Ex. I Never Planned On You (Don't Come A-Knocking) (Newsies), Light My Candle (RENT), Anything You Can Do (Annie Get Your Gun)

The "Let's Have Some Fun In The City!" song - super upbeat instrumentals and ensemble, the characters are exploring the city and having fun.

Ex. When You're Home (In The Heights), One Short Day (Wicked), The Schuyler Sisters (Hamilton)

The Badass Revolution Song - the song that makes you want to take down capitalism and scream something at the top of your lungs. take down the oppressors. the poor kids are taking over now.

Ex. The World Will Know (Newsies), One Day More (Les Misérables), My Shot (Hamilton), Yorktown (Hamilton), Defying Gravity (Wicked)

There's probably more to add.

#newsies #newsies imagine #newsies imagines #newsies incorrect quotes #newsies live #newsies x reader #broadway #wicked #hamilton #alexander hamilton #hamilton: an american musical #lin-manuel miranda #rent the musical #in the heights #ben platt #mean girls on broadway #be more chill #hadestown

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thefallofnaesia · 3 years

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A Plot, If You Want One

Okay, it's been months and it has become quite clear to me that the kingdom of Naesia will never really see the light of day. It was born from me thinking 'this has dictator ruler vibes' while clapping for the NHS in the spring and acted as a way for me to chuck in aspects of historical rulers that I like but alas, never to be.

I tried to tell the story via this ask blog. Tumblr kept eating the asks and I knew I couldn't keep asking the 2 or 3 mutuals who were kind enough to get invested if they'd sent an ask. Besides, as I was answering asks it occurred to me I lowkey felt this story would be better as a regular fic. I then attempted to do just that. Except... despite genuine intentions to actually write it past the prologue, that never happened.

I want the only real scene I had fleshed out to stop living in my head and making me feel guilty because it requires the majority of the story to be written before it can be shown. By doing this, hopefully I can finally write it and just be like 'yeah have this if you want'.

Anyway, here's the limited plot points I had planned for the Kingdom of Naesia.

TWs for terrorism as well as mentions of/implied torture, death, imprisonment, execution and gore. It should go without saying that I don’t endorse or support the actions of the characters. However, I’m sure there’s somebody out there who would try pin that on me for whatever reason.

Brief reminder of who's who since it has been y'know... at least half a year since I talked/made content about this AU.

King Anthony IV, 42 - King of Naesia whose Silver Jubilee (25th anniversary of throne) is coming up. His great-grandfather was a foreign prince who took the throne by force over 150 years ago and his father was a tyrant, especially in his later years, so to certain people, that reflects on him.

Charles 'Chase' Brody Jr, 25 - The son of a rebel and Anthony III's (A4's father) closest advisor. He is determined to gather his family friends and do something about Anthony IV.

Jackson Brody, 2nd Duke of Neskon, 39 - Head military advisor to the king, Anthony's sweetheart and Chase's half brother via their dad. He's suspected his stepmother of being against the monarchy since he was a teenager.

Prince James of Irivalon, 31 - Son and youngest child of the Irivalonian queen. His family would rather have his cousin (Anthony's half brother) on the Naesian throne.

Martin, 21 - From Espa, a nearby country. His parents were against Anthony III.

Henrik von Schneeplestein, 28 - From Cuvaberg, another nearby country. Like Martin, his parents were against Anthony III.

The story starts with Chase and his mother (Gracília) standing outside their house to reflect on the years of tyranny Naesia has endured since Anthony I won the crown. This is a weekly tradition they do at the same time the rest of the country routinely claps and celebrates the Antonian rule.

Chase decides it's time he tried to track down his mother's old allies who fled the country when an assassination attempt failed. He knows for a fact that Heather escaped to Espa and that the Schneeplestein kids were sent off to Cuvaberg to live with family after their parents were captured and subsequently executed.

Jackson pays his stepmother and brother a visit to tell them Chase was asked to attend an engagement party in Irivalon. King Anthony wants Chase to use this opportunity to prove he and his mother are trustworthy because Anthony has had his doubts about Gracília for years but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt until now because of Charles Sr's loyalty.

Chase goes reluctantly but relishes in the opportunity to leave Naesia for the first time in his life. The party is celebrating Prince James' engagement to Helene von Schneeplestein, Henrik's older sister. Due to this, Chase bumps in Henrik who recognises his surname. The two of them agree to try keep in contact after they return their respective home countries.

The Schneeplesteins have also kept in touch with Heather, who has gotten married and had a family in the 25 years since Gracília last saw her. One of these children is her son Martin who is also willing to side with them.

The three of them, along with Gracília and Heather, decide Anthony's Silver Jubilee would be a good opportunity to make a move. At some point, James learns of their plans and offers them help and resources to assist in their efforts. If all goes well, Iravilon could manage to manipulate a way to put one of Anthony's half brothers (also James' cousin) on the Naesian throne.

Eventually, everything is set for them to attack the cathedral where a ceremony to celebrate Anthony's 25 years as king will take place. Chase and Martin are delivering the last of the explosives when they are discovered. Martin is just about able to get away but Chase isn't quite as lucky.

Chase is imprisoned, Anthony requests to speak with him in person so he is brought to the dining hall. Anthony berates him for his viewpoint which has lead him to what is obviously attempted terrorism. In the hope it will convince Chase to co-operate, Anthony makes him a deal. If he reveals the identities of his conspirators, Chase will get off lighter than he usually would. He'll still be executed for treason, of course, but it won't be via the typical method (don't look up ‘hdq execution’ if you have a sensitive stomach). The king doesn’t intend to let him off lightly at all, he just wants the information. Chase refuses to betray the others so at the end of the night, he gets sent back to his cell.

Over the following week, Chase continually refuses to reveal any details despite the efforts to 'encourage' him to. From the window of his cell, he hears distant bangs. The others had gone ahead with their plan. Successfully, by sounds of it.

Because of this, Chase is put in solitary confinement as efforts to make him talk are increased. Jackson, who has been keeping his distance from Chase during all this, visits him before he is moved to say a few choice words.

Eventually, at least one of his group is able to organise a way to free him. By this point, those left in charge due to Anthony's absense are debating whether to cut their loses for now and execute Chase while keeping an eye out for the perpetrators of the attack.

I never came up with a definitive ending. However, while Chase is now free and in hiding with the others, he certainly doesn't feel as victorious as the others do. Not to mention he's traumatised by the torture he was subjected to as well. I suspect following the attack and the risky move of rescuing Chase, the group plans to flee to another country to better hide as fugitives.

So if you want a more definitive end scene, picture Chase waiting to depart on a boat while bitterly reflecting on the events that brought him to that moment.

#the kingdom of naesia #tw terrorism #tw implied death #tw execution mention #tw imprisonment #tw torture #tw gore mention #even though that last one is very brief and only in passing #Naesia's punishment for traitors is horrible for the sake of determent

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martinnecas · 5 years

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Quick Guide | Carolina Hurricanes: Meet The Team - Opening Night 2019-20

New season means a new quick guide to the roster

2018-19 season

This took me a couple of days to put together so please appreciate it

Want to know how to pronounce a players name?

Click this link!

*All gifs made by me*

Forwards:

☞ Sebastian Aho™️ #20

Yes there is another “Sebastian Aho” from Sweden but he’s usually in the AHL (Bridgeport/Islanders)

Born: July 26, 1997 (22 years old/Leo) from Rauma, Finland

6′0, Centre, 35th overall CAR 2015

Nicknames: Fishy, Seabass, Sepe, Sebu

He’s the face of this franchise and the only player on this team that the Canadian media knows about

Is being held against his will in Raleigh because he wants to play for Montreal if you don’t know the actual story MTL sent him an offer sheet that he signed because he wanted the money and knew Carolina could pay it, but you know how Habs twitter can be.

Possibly the messiest Hurricane

Who’s my daddy?!

Spirit animal is a lion, hear him roar

Avid coffee drinker

Baby face

Painted a picture of his cat one time

☞ Ryan Dzingel #18

Born: March 9, 1992 (27 years old/Pisces) from Wheaton, Illinois

6′0, Centre, 204th overall OTT 2011

Nicknames: Zinger, Dizzy, Dzingel Bells, D-pingel

Played with the Ohio State Buckeyes for 3 seasons, recorded the first hat trick in Big Ten history against Xichigan

Traded to CBJ Feb ‘19, signed with CAR as a free agent summer ‘19

Might need glasses, he squints like that ^ a lot

Golfs... A L O T

Wants to produce for the team so he can stay here in Raleigh and make it his home ♥︎

Jeep guy

Looks uncomfortably similar to Tripp Tracy

UNC fan

☞ Warren Foegele #13

Born: April 1, 1996 (23 years old/Aries) from Markham, Ontario

6′2, Left Wing, 67th overall CAR 2014

Nicknames: Foegs, Foegdaddy

Best friends with Andrei Svechnikov and Dougie Hamilton

Duke fan

Accidentally broke Osh*e’s collarbone but TJ and C*p fans will claim he tried to murder him

Spirit animal is a tiger, also hear him roar

Very easily scared

Duke fan

☞ Erik Haula #56

Born: March 23, 1991(28 years old/Aries) from Pori, Finland

6′0, Left Wing, 181st overall 2009 MIN

Nicknames: Hauls, Haulsy

Moved to Minnesota in 2008 to play hockey in boarding school

Played for the University Of Minnesota Gophers for 3 seasons

Signed with MIN in 2013, was picked up by the VGK in 2017 as a free agent in the Expansion Draft, then traded to CAR summer of 2019 (for Nic Roy & draft pick)

Suffered a pretty bad knee injury in the 2018-19 season

CAKE

Got married this past summer ♥︎

Currently living in Calvin de Haan’s old house

☞ Jordan Martinook (A) #48

Born: July 25, 1992 (27 years old/Leo) from Brandon, Manitoba

6′0, Left Wing, 58th overall 2012 PHX

Nicknames: Marty, Marty Man, Marty Party

Signed with PHX/ARI in 2012, traded to CAR in 2018 (for Krüger)

Raw chaotic dad energy

Doesn’t like corndogs and has a very high pitched scream

His wife gave birth to their first son last season before he got his downstairs fixed in the offseason

LETS GO SVECH

Spirit animal is a dolphin because he has a great impression

There is so much more I want to put on here but you should really just follow his Twitter

☞ Brock McGinn #23

Born: February 2, 1994 (25 years old/Aquarius) from Fergus, Ontario

6′0, Left Wing, 47th overall 2012 CAR

Nicknames: Ginner, Brock McWinn, McPing, the new Mr. Game Seven (that one is kind of a joke though), Big Cock Brock

Single handedly defeated evil not only once but twice on April 24th, 2019, earning him the nicknames “Brock McWinn” and the new “Mr. Game Seven”

Has two brothers who also play professionally; Jamie (NHL) and Tye (AHL) McGinn

Co Owner of the Roanoke Rail Road Dawgs with his brothers and father

His daddy is Bob

Has a high probability of burning his whole house down

Used to be a fighter, but he didn’t fight anyone last season

Thor

Was 3rd in the league with most MsS Post (10) in the 2017-18 season earning him the nickname Brock McPing

☞ Martin Nečas #88

Born: January 15, 1999 (20 years old/Capricorn) from Nove Mesto na Morave, Czech Rebublic

6′2, 12th overall 2017 CAR, “He plays, like, Centre”

Nicknames: Neči, Marty, Nacho, Marto

Your 2019-20 ****** ****** winner

He’s here to fix out PP units, quote me on that

Little hockey stick chain ^

Is known for falling while scoring

Is it avocado or avocaydo?

Hidden talent: Belly dancing

Almost killed the entire team with a golf club last season

Don’t mess with him

Just won the Calder Cup with the Checkers :)

☞ Nino Niederreiter #21

Born: September 8, 1992 (27 years old/Virgo) from Chur, Switzerland

6′0, Right Wing, 5th overall 2010 NYI

Nicknames: El Nino

Was the highest drafted Swizz born player until Hischer in 2017

Signed to the Islanders in 2010, traded to Minnesota in 2013, then traded to Carolina in January 2019 (for Rask)

Was about to take a nap when he was traded

Just when canes fans almost lost hope, Nino showed up and saved our season

When he came to Carolina, someone gave him sweet tea and he really liked it

Was voted best dressed by a couple teammates

Loves the surge

Supports women’s hockey

☞ Jordan Staal (C) #11

Born: September 10, 1988 (31 years ago/Virgo) from Thunder Bay, Ontario

6′4, Centre, 2nd overall 2006 PIT

Nicknames: Stallsy, Jordad, Gronk

Arrested at his brother’s bachelor party

Won the Stanley Cup with the Penguins in 2009

Jordan is the youngest out of the other brothers (Eric, Marc) in the league (NHL) 3rd brother is the youngest and is now a coach

Signed with PIT in 2006, traded to CAR in 2012 (for 8th overall pick, Brandon Sutter and Brian Dumoulin)

Named Captain in the 2017-18 season, became Alternative Captain in 2018-19, is now Captain again in 2019-20

Great at dad jokes

☞ Andrei Svechnikov #37

Born: March 26, 2000 (19 years old/Aries) from Barnaul, Russia

6′2, Right Wing, 2nd overall 2018 CAR

Nicknames: Svech, Mother Russia

Svech is ready

“Just win every game”

Wears #37 because that’s what his brother, Evgeny Svechnikov (DET), wears

Russia = Cold, Raleigh = Hot

Apparently his biggest talent outside of hockey is… magic?

Best friends with Warren Foegele and Dougie Hamilton

Likes to shovel the ice during practice

Me?

Terrible at golf..

.. I mean like really bad

☞ Teuvo Teräväinen #86

Born: September 11, 1994 (25 years old/Virgo) from Helsinki, Finland

5′11, Left Wing, 18th overall 2012 CHI

Nicknames: Turbo, Teukka

Shortest Hurricane

Began with CHI in 2014, traded to CAR in 2016 (along with Bickell for 2nd round pick)

Won the cup with CHI in 2015 (Along with van Riemsdyk)

Has the worst sense of smell ever

I mean come on.. pumpkin? toothpaste?

I could keep going with this I don't know what’s wrong with his nose

Most likely the messiest Hurricane

Would dump Sebastian on the side of the road after 100km

Gets scared REALLY easily

His sisters plays hockey over in Finland (and is pretty good at it too)

☞ Lucas Wallmark #71

Born: September 5, 1995 (24 years old/Virgo) from Umea, Sweden

6′0, Centre, 97th overall 2014 CAR

Nicknames: Wally

My daddy!?

His spirit animal is… a horse?

^ He enjoys watching horse racing

*Straight face* “Snacks!? Candy!?”

Deal with it

Showed up to a U12 and U18 team practice to work on skills with kids

Owns a pug named Lovis

Defense

☞ Joel Edmundson #6

Born: June 28, 1993 (26 years old/Cancer) Brandon, Manitoba

6′4, 46th overall 2011 STL

Nicknames: Crop Top King, Eddy

Won the cup in 2019 with STL and partied in a crop top

True Canadian, ate poutine out of the cup

Traded in September 2019 to CAR (along with Bokk for Faulk and draft pick)

Going to strengthen our PK I promise

Finally, an enforcer

Forgot to take his skate guards off during his CAR preseason debut in front of 18,000 people

Is a barbie girl, living in a barbie world

☞ Haydn Fleury #4

Born: July 8, 1996 (23 years old/Cancer) from Carlyle, Saskatchewan

6′3, 7th overall 2014 CAR

Nicknames: Fleurs

Beat his little brother Cale (MTL) during his NHL debut

Best friends with Trevor van Riemsdyk

Has the cutest dog named Kobe

Won the Calder Cup along with Nečas :)

If you want to giggle watch this

Has the worst witch cackle you will ever hear

Apparently the best golfer on the team

Big Duke fan

☞ Jake Gardiner #51

Born: July 4, 1990 (29 years old/Cancer) from Minnetonka, Minnesota

6′2, 17th overall 2008 ANA

Nicknames: Gards

Played for the University of Wisconsin for 3 seasons

Traded to TOR in 2011, signed as a free agent to CAR in summer 2019

Has the cutest baby

Denied several offers from other teams mtl to play with us instead

Hands down had the best Halloween costume two years ago

☞ Dougie Hamilton #19

Born: June 17, 1993 (26 years old/Gemini) from Toronto, Ontario

6′6, 9th overall 2011 BOS

Nicknames: D-Ham, Doug the Thug, well his real name is Douglas so I guess Dougie is technically a nickname

Tallest Hurricane

Both of his parents are Olympians, brother also plays professional hockey

Started with BOS in 2012, traded to CGY in 2015, then traded to CAR in 2018 (Last remaining player from the huge Hamilton, Ferland & Fox for Lindholm and Hanifin trade)

Best friends with Andrei Svechnikov and Warren Foegele

Porche guy

Grew out a mullet because his hair salon couldn’t take him as a walk in

Jack Edwards complained that he was wearing a number retired from the Whalers so he taped a 6 over the 1 in 19 to make 69

Goes to children's hospitals dressed as woman characters

Lowkey shootout king

Floss

Another Duke fan

Wears the same blazer to every road game

☞ Brett Pesce #22

Born: November 15, 1994 (24 years old/Scorpio) from Tarrytown, New York

6′3, 66th overall 2013 CAR

Nicknames: Pesh

“I play defense bro”

Played for the University of New Hampshire for 3 seasons (2 of those seasons with van Riemsdyk)

Pretty ^

Wears 22 for his dad

He’ll break your ankles

Fortnite squad

Brought his wonderful brother on the mentors trip

Allergic to cats

☞ Jaccob Slavin (A) #74

Born: May 1, 1994 (25 years old/Taurus) from Denver, Colorado

6′3, 120th overall 2012 CAR

Nicknames: Slav-o

The second ‘c’ stands for captain

Faith and family

Played for Colorado College for two seasons

Adopted a beautiful baby girl with his beautiful wife

Has an instagram for his two dogs

His daddy is “Robert”

Not afraid of snakes at all

☞ Trevor van Riemsdyk #57

Born: July 24, 1991 (28 years old/Leo) from Middletown, New Jersey

6′2, Undrafted

Nicknames: TVR, Riems

Agreed to terms with CHI in 2014

Won the cup with CHI in 2015 (along with Teräväinen)

Was picked up by the VGK in the 2017 expansion draft

The next day traded to CAR (for 2nd round pick)

James van Riemsdyk (PHI) is his older brother

Played with the University of New Hampshire for 3 seasons (2 of those seasons with Pesce)

He’s too tired to be scared

March Madness

Best friends with Haydn Fleury

Pride representative for the team

Goalies

☞ Petr Mrázek #34

Born: February 14, 1992 (27 years old/Aquarius) from Ostrava, Czech Republic

6′1, 141st overall 2010 DET

Nicknames: Mrazzle Dazzle, St. Petr

Moved to Ottawa at age 17

Signed with DET in 2014

Was HUGE for them during the 2015 playoff run

Traded to PHI in Feb ‘18, signed as a free agent with CAR in July ‘18

Stylish

He had custom hats made for every player on the team

Always has Peter Griffin in his helmet design

Signature move: Poke Check

☞ James Reimer #47

Born: March 15, 1988 (31 years old/Pisces) from Morweena, Manitoba

6′2, 99th overall 2006 TOR

Nicknames: Optimus Reim, The Statue, Reims

Debuted with TOR in 2010, traded to SJS Feb ‘16

Signed with FLA as a free agent summer ‘16, traded to CAR summer ‘19 (for Darling and a 2020 6th round pick)

Has two kids

Really good swimmer

You may recognize this famous goalie meme, that’s right, that's him

Optimus Reim helmet art

He looks so much like Weston from Love Island USA

Honorable Mention

☞ Julien Gauthier #44

I’m including him because everyone expected him to make the team as he did phenomenal in the preseason (playing all 6 games) but due to cap space (and our horrid pp units), he was sent back down.

Born: October 15, 1997 (turning 22/Libra) from Pointe-aux-Trembles, Quebec

6′4, Right Wing, 21st overall 2016 CAR

Nicknames: Goat, Gauths, Jules

Big boy

Bilingual (French/English)

Cute accent

His uncle played 554 games in the NHL (Denis Gauthier)

Both his father and grandfather were professional bodybuilders

That explains his muscles

The best thighs in the league (not up for debate)

Also won the Calder Cup this past season with Haydn Fleury and Martin Nečas

Head Coach

☞ Rod Brind’Amour #17

Roderick Jean Brind’Amour

Born: August 9, 1970 (age 49 years/Leo) from Ottawa, Canada

6′1, Centre, 9th overall 1988 STL

Nicknames: Rod the Bod, RBA

Played with Michigan State for one season

Started with STL in the playoffs of ‘88, traded to PHI in ‘91, traded to CAR in 2000

Captain of the 2006 CAR Stanley Cup winning team

Played 20 seasons, 1,484(GP) 452(G) 732(A) 1,184(P)

Became head coach for the 2018-19 season

First year as HC broke the team’s 9 year playoff drought and brought them all the way to the ECF

Is known for his extreme workouts

Still in better shape than 98% of the league

Could very well still lace up and play better than 80% of the league

Lives rent free in W*lson’s and Reirden’s heads

Gives the best post-game speeches

President & General Manager

☞ Don Waddell

I really just wanted an excuse to put this gif in here

Coached the 1998 DET Stanley Cup winning team

Named Pres. & GM of CAR in May ‘18

Owner

☞ Tom Dundon

Lives rent free is Habs fans minds

Estimated net worth is $1.1 billion?

Majority owner of TopGolf (55%)

Chairman of the Alliance of American Football

Purchased 52% of CAR in January 2018 for $420million

Likes to hang around team/fan events

Stays in the same hotel as me lol

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