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marvelslut16 · 7 months

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The Flu

Prompt number: 22 "Who takes care of you?"

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner

Rating: T(een)

Word count: 2.8k+

Warnings: Age gap relationship. Dbf. Swearing. Boss and employee.

A/N: A few hours late for day 4, but I was a busy woman today. Aaron and Jack never go into the witness protection program, they catch Peter Lewis right away.

The job was just supposed to be temporary, one to help you get back on your feet after dropping out of school, and you got to help your long time infatuation Aaron Hotchner now that Jess was moving out of state. It was a win win in your eyes, and it got your dad off your back. But that was almost two years ago now, and there was no end in sight for your current arrangement as Jack’s live in nanny.

The one flaw in your logic was how drop dead gorgeous your boss is. Not that that is new information, you’d been drooling over him since you were sixteen when you saw him shirtless at a backyard/pool party your dad threw. But now it’s so much worse, because he’s so sexy doing all of his mundane tasks. Making coffee at five in the morning with bedhead? Sexy. Making dinner in one of his tight white dress shirts when he gets home from a case early? Still sexy. Dressed down in casual clothes coaching Jack’s soccer team? The most sexy.

As you lament, yet again, to your best friend over text about how unfairly hot Aaron Hotchner is, the front door opens. As if he knew you were talking about him, he enters the house with a thud having dropped his go bag by the front door. He slowly makes his way to the kitchen, where you are, and when he does you finally notice how miserable he looks. His dark hair is slicked to his forehead, his face pale- except for his cheeks which are bright red, and his eyes are bloodshot.

“Oh my god, Aaron! Are you okay?” your voice raising an octave, you rush over to him and guide him to one of the barstools in front of his large island.

“I’m fine, the team overreacted and sent me home,” he almost sounds convincing, until he finishes the sentence with a loud sneeze.

“Awww,” you rub your hand up and down his back comfortingly. “Did Jackers give you the flu?”

“No,” he argues, and tries to quietly sniffle.

“That’s it, straight to bed young man,” your hands resting on your hips as you tell him the same thing you told Jack a week ago when he came home from school with the flu. “While you take a nap I’ll make you some homemade chicken noodle soup.”

“It’s fine (Y/N), you don’t have to do that. I’m capable of making my own lunch,” he looks like a petulant child, his hands balled in fists also resting on his hips.

“When was the last time you let someone take care of you Aaron?” you ask, becoming annoyed that he keeps fighting you. “Six months ago when you were in the hospital, that’s when. And then you still fought it tooth and nail. Who takes care of you?”

“I can take care of myself,” he starts coughing as a result of lowering his voice in order to use his boss voice. A voice he only ever uses on you when you try to care for him too.

“You want to go back to work again soon right?” he nods. “So just listen to me. Take some Tylenol and go lay down. Please let me make you some soup.”

He finally relents and heads upstairs to bed, but not before you get him a large glass of water. Thankfully you were planning on making chicken for dinner, so you already have some thawing. You waste no time and start cooking the chicken in one pot, then you chop the vegetables. After the chicken has been shredded and the soup is simmering, making the whole house smell delicious, you sneak upstairs to check on your patient.

You’re happy to see that he’s laying in the middle of his bed bundled up in his sheets with little snores escaping him.Despite him being sick, he still looks far more at peace and relaxed in this moment then he has since you met him back when he was still a prosecutor. After a few minutes of taking him in, you head back to the kitchen and toast and butter bread to go with his soup. The soup is done ten minutes later, and you ladle a nice heaping bowl for him.

You trek back up the stairs, walk into Aaron’s room and stand beside his bed. You’ve woken him up a bunch of times when he falls asleep watching movies with you and Jack or when he falls asleep at the island going over paperwork for work, but this feels different. You’re in his bedroom, you’re boss’ bedroom. Overcoming your nerves you reach forward and gently shake his shoulder, he wakes with a start whipping his hand to grasp your wrist in a bruising grip.

“Aaron,” you startle, he doesn’t register that you aren’t a threat in his half asleep stupor. “It’s me, it’s (Y/N).”

“(Y/N)?” he snaps out of it, face contorting into a frown when he sees his white knuckled grip around your wrist. “Shit! I’m so sorry!”

“It’s fine,” you smile lightly, rubbing your wrist when he finally lets go. “It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have woken you up like that.”

“It’s my fault,” he argues, sitting up and leaning against his mahogany headboard. “I couldn’t stop thinking about the case at work before I fell asleep, I must have dreamt about it.”

“It’s fine Aaron, I just wanted to let you know the soup is done, there’s a bowl cooling on the island for you,” you smile as you slowly back out of his room, suddenly feeling like you’re intruding.

Aaron doesn’t say anything else, so you slip out of the room and head back to the kitchen to start cleaning up. Aaron joins you a few minutes later, wrapped tightly in his blue robe Jack picked out for him for Christmas last year. Aaron lets out an involuntary moan after taking a spoonful of soup, and you clench your thighs together at the delicious sound.

“This is the best chicken noodle soup I’ve ever had,” Aaron says once he’s scarfed down half of his bowl.

“You hate chicken noodle soup,” you giggle, remembering the cute way his nose crinkled in disgust when that was the only soup at some fancy restaurant the team and their families went to last year.

“Not this one!” he shovels in another spoonful.

You give Aaron another helping of the soup, glad that he’s eating and hydrating himself, before putting the rest into a container and into the fridge. You have just enough time to wash the pot and counters before heading to pick Jack up from school.

“I’m gonna head out and get Jackers in a few minutes,” you tell Aaron as he starts sneezing again. “Once you finish that, go lay back down and drink lots of water.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” he murmurs thinking you won’t be able to hear him. But you do, and you glare at him for his childish antics. He finally relents, “okay.”

The drive to get Jack isn’t very long, but after the whole Peter Lewis fiasco, Aaron won’t let Jack walk home or ride the bus. And you don’t blame him. Your dad told you about Jack getting stalked during one of your weekly phone calls while you were away for school, you were rattled for the Hotchner’s.

“(Y/N)!” Jack comes running at you when he sees you, you bend down and scoop him into your arms and carry him to the car. You’ll never get tired of how excited he gets to see you when you pick him up, it’s the same happy reaction every day.

“How was school buddy? Get all the homework you missed last week when you were home sick?” you bombard him with questions as you unlock the car.

“It was great! We got to play soccer in gym today and I scored three times!” Jack wiggles in excitement before you set him back on the ground.

“That's great buddy!” you smile at him as he slips into his seat.

“Yes I got all of my make up work,” he pouts once you get into the driver's seat. “Lots of fractions, and you know how much I hate those.”

“I’ll tell ya what, you do one of your math worksheets and then we can make your dad a get well soon card,” over your time with the Hotchner’s you’ve learned that bargaining is how to incentivise the both of them. “He came home from work early with the flu.”

“Dad’s home?” Jack start’s to excitedly bounce in his seat, happy that he’ll get to spend more time with his favorite person.

“Yeah, but just remember that he’s not feeling his best so he won’t be able to do a lot,” a bittersweet smile crosses your face, it’s not fair that they don’t get to spend more time with one another. It’s not fair that Aaron has to sacrifice his personal life to make the world a better place for everyone else.

When you walk in the door you're greeted with the sight of Aaron bundled up on the couch under three blankets, the news playing quietly on the TV. Jack gives his dad a big hug before scurrying off to the kitchen to grab a snack and start his homework. You walk up to the lump on the couch that was once Aaron and reach your forearm forward to feel his forehead, and sure enough he’s much warmer than he should be.

“I don’t feel good,” Aaron whines, making the same pouty face Jack made all last week. “Everything aches.”

“I know sweetheart,” you let the term of endearment slip without thinking, too focused on trying to comfort Aaron. “You have a fever, you need to drink lots of water and get out from under those blankets.”

“No,” he huffs, clutching onto his blankets like he needs them to live. “I don’t have a fever, it’s just cold in here.”

“Aaron it's seventy two degrees in here, it’s not cold. You need to take the blankets off, it’ll only make it worse,” he shakes his head sinking further into the couch. “Fine, if I go grab the thermometer and it says you have a fever, I’m taking both of your blankets into the kitchen with me while I help Jack with his homework.”

You don’t give him time to respond before you head to the upstairs bathroom where you had checked Jack for a fever this morning before school. When you get back to him, Aaron has sunk further down into the couch and cocoon of blankets trying to hide from the thermometer in your hand. You eventually get it in his mouth and sure enough he has a one hundred one degree fever.

“Hand over those blankets,” you reach your hand out for them, and he reluctantly gives them to you. “Now drink some water and watch the news. And no more blankets!”

You help Jack with two math worksheets before he remembers your deal, and demands you make a card. He decorates the printer paper in every color marker and tops it off with those marker stamps you got him for his birthday. Jack even makes you sign your name on the card.

“Is this for me?” Aaron coughs and sits up when Jack thrusts the card in his face. “Aww thanks buddy, I love it!” Jack sits on the couch with his dad for a few minutes, but after seeing the news is on he gets up and leaves.

“You feeling up for dinner?” you ask Aaron, when Jack heads back to finish some more homework. “It’s too late for me to make something, is there any take out you want?”

“Happy Meal!” Jack yells from the kitchen

“You heard the little man, we’re having McDonalds tonight,” Aaron smiles at you as you grab your keys and call Jack to come ride with you.

The rest of the night is stress free, Jack actually listens to you when you tell him it’s time to shower and get ready for bed, all because his dad is sick and doesn’t want to make it worse. Well it’s stress free where Jack is concerned, you still have to deal with the full grown baby you call your boss.

“Time for bed Aaron,” you tell him after you’ve dried Jack’s hair and read him to sleep. “I know you don’t want to but you need to get your rest.”

“I’m not tired,” he says, even though he grabs your hand when you hold it out to him, you pull him out of his chair and lead him up the stairs and to his room

“Now take two more Tylenol and go to sleep,” he reluctantly takes the pills out of your hand and throws them back dry.

“There, are you happy?”

“I’m ecstatic,” you deadpan, moving to fluff his pillows for him.

“Thank you,” Aaron catches your gaze when he speaks, making sure to hold it.

“It's my job,” you dismiss his praise, not wanting to let yourself think about it too much and read too deep into it.

“No it's not, you always go above and beyond for us, for me,” Aaron gently catches the wrist he squeezed earlier making a mental image of the faint bruise marring your skin, and vowing to never let the world hurt you.

“Aaron,” your breath catches at the delicate ghosting of his fingertips on the inside of your wrist.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, leaning forward and now it’s his lips ghosting over your wrist. You swear your heart stops when he pushes down harder, leaving a trail of kisses around your wrist.

“What are you doing?” you ask breathlessly, the last thing you want is for him to stop, but you also need to make sure he’s in his right mind when doing this.

“Kissing you,” the words fall out of his mouth effortlessly, like they’re said all of the time. His mouth travels up your arm and he’s kissing the sensitive crook of your elbow.

Aaron pulls you down next to him in bed, quickly scooping you up and cradling you in his arms. You're at a loss for words, your dream is coming true. Aaron Hotchner actually wants you as much as you want him, and it isn’t a dream. When you’re lost in thought his lips descend on yours, and soon you get lost in him instead. There’s no rush to your kiss, just a slow languid strokes of his tongue twining with yours. It’s the perfect first kiss, there’s a heat to it, but no sense of urgency to get it over with.

“(Y/N), you have my heart,” Aaron admits breathlessly, arms wrapping around you tighter. “I know it’s wrong for many reasons, but you made my heart beat again. You love Jack and you’re wonderful with him. He loves you. I love you. You take care of me even though you don’t have to, you are the most amazing person. You’re perfect for Jack and me.”

“You have my heart too, I love you too,” you grip his chin and pull him in for another kiss. “You and Jack are everything to me, I finally feel like I belong somewhere, here with the two of you. I never want to lose this, lose you.”

“You won’t,” he kisses you one more time before pulling away completely. “But you should probably go to your own room now, wouldn’t want you to get sick from sleeping with me tonight.”

“I was home with Jack all last week, I’m fine. Plus it’s probably better I stay in here and keep an eye on you,” he smirks, kissing you one last time before resting his head on your chest.

The rest of the week is wonderful, Aaron still argues with you when you try to take care of him, but when Jack’s at school you two let the facade down. You cuddle with him and kiss him whenever you walk past him, making out on the couch like you’re two horny teenagers. Before you know it, it’s Sunday and Aaron is feeling better so he has to go into work in the morning. As the two of you say goodnight to Jack you start sneezing and the sniffling you’ve had all day rears its ugly head.

“I told you not to sleep with me,” Aaron teases you after you close Jack's door, pulling you with him and back into his room.

“I’m fine,” your arguing falls short as you start sneezing again.

“I think the team can do without me for another case,” Aaron smiles as you slip into bed with him. “I need to be here to take care of you now.” Who would have thought the flu would be what finally got you two together?

#fictober23 #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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froggywritesstuff · 6 months

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hero | mm!yandere!leonardo

ship/pairing: Mutant Mayhem!Yandere!Leo x g/n!reader

fandom: TMNT: Mutant Mayhem

warnings: yandere themes, swearing, Leo being delusional, manipulative behaviour, guilt tripping, being tied up, gags, kidnapping

word count: 1007

A/N: i only saw mutant mayhem in cinemas once like a month ago so this might be ooc. 18+ people DNI. i do not in any way support yandere behaviour, please know that this writing is purely fictional, and should not ever be reenacted in real life

Leo exhaled heavily, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He whispered to himself 'you got this,' over and over like a mantra. He was so nervous, nothing could calm him down. You were in the sewers with him, he couldn't even imagine being calm. He gave up on calming his nerves, deciding to greet you as he was, jittery and giddy. He entered the secluded part of the sewers he cleared out just for you, not being able to contain his smile as he met your eyes - your mouth being covered with the gag he gave you. You didn't look as excited as he was... You were probably just confused, that was all. Once Leo explained everything, you'd be smiling in no time. He neared closer to you, frowning at the way you shuffled back toward the wall, but he rationalised that you were just too excited to meet him, and was just as giddy as he was.

"HEy." Leo internally cringed at the crack in his voice, but kept a calm face in front of you, "Sorry for keeping you tied up so long, I had to finish up some stuff with my brothers." he paused, before realisation dawned on him, "Oh and sorry for keeping that gag on you for so long," he walked your way, stopping in front of you to untie the gag, "I knew you'd be confused and I didn't want you to hurt your throat by-"

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Leo jumped back when you yelled, not prepared for your hostility.

"Hey," he looked behind him, double checking no one else was near, "Y/N, you need to keep it down, or I'm gonna have to put the gag back on, and I really don't wanna do that." he said, almost pleading with you.

"You have thirty seconds to explain to me what you think you're doing." you spat, glaring at Leo to hide the fear in your eyes. You did stay quiet, so Leo did appreciate that.

He nodded, exhaling quickly, "Ok, so we go to the same school, I dunno if you've ever noticed me, you probably haven't-"

"Yeah, I never noticed four turtle mutants at my school."

Leo instantly perked up, "So you have noticed me?" you said nothing, staring at him with a frustrated look, "Right, never mind. I- You just looked so lonely at school, I figured you needed a friend."

You scoffed, and Leo didn't miss the feeling of pure fear in your voice that you tried to cover up, "So your first thought is to kidnap me?"

Leo cringed, "Can you maybe not use that word?"

Your eyebrows raised, “Kidnap?” he nodded, "No, because it's the exact word to describe what you're doing."

”Well you’re making me out to be some kind of monster. I just…” he sighed, “I really like you and I thought I could be your friend, or something…”

”Well you could’ve been if not for the kidnapping.”

He brought his hands to his face, laughing awkwardly, “Can you stop? I’m trying to help you, it’s not my fault you’re not taking this well.” he saw your unconvinced expression and stood up, beginning to pace around the room “I’m a hero, you know I’m a hero. My brothers and I saved the city. I'm trying to do a good thing for you, and I really want you to be happy down here, with me. So can you just stop being so negative?"

You just stared at him speechless. You realised pretty quickly that you wouldn't be able to convince him that what he was doing was wrong. It seemed his mind was made up. But you also noticed that he seemed pretty determined to keep you happy, and was convinced that you weren't happy without him.

"Leo listen to me," you began, seeing the corners of his lips turn up slightly at the fact that you knew his name, "I know you think you're helping me or whatever, but you're really not. I'm fine, I really am. You-you can let me go, and I won't tell anyone about this, I swear." you couldn't stop the tears forming in your eyes. You didn't want him to know, but you were truly terrified.

He narrowed his eyes at you, "What do you mean? I-I'm helping. I don't understand why you wouldn't think that..." you opened your mouth to speak but he quickly cut you off, "I-is this because I'm a mutant?"

You furrowed your eyebrows, "What?"

"You just think I'm some kind of monster, don't you?" he asked, a hurt look in his eyes as he stared at you.

"Leo, you're not listening to me-" you attempted to say, but Leo cut you off again.

"Well I'm sorry I'm not a human, but last I checked, no human cares enough about you to give you this kind of help." he scoffed, turning around and beginning to walk away.

"Leo, what are you doing?" you asked fearfully, pulling on the ropes around your hands.

He turned back to meet your eyes, "If you hate me so much, I'll just leave you alone then."

You suppress a groan of frustration, "Can you just-"

Leo turned around sharply, a sharp glare sent your way, but you could still see the hope in his eyes, "Just what? If you're gonna yell at me again, I don't wanna hear it."

"I don't want to be here. You're really scaring me, and I want to go home. This isn't what heroes do, Leo." you insisted, staring deep into Leo's eyes, hoping you would reach him.

In the blink of an eye, you saw his face fall, his once tense and frustrated expression replaced with drooped eyelids, frowning lips and slumped shoulders. He stared at you for what felt like an eternity, before his lips turned upwards slightly, a calm expression forced upon his face, "It's ok, Y/N. You’re confused, you’re not used to this yet. You don't understand now, but you will soon. I promise."

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mirrormazeworld · 1 year

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TWST Theory : Deep Analysis Based on Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass - Crowley The Mad Hatter (part 1)

⚠️WARNING⚠️

⚠️CONTAINS SPOILER CHAPTER 6 AND 7⚠️

⚠️VERY COMPLICATED TWST THEORY, MIGHT GIVES YOU HEADACHE, PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK ⚠️

Note:

You've read this far, congratulations! Beware that this is the longest and most difficult part to understand out of all parts it might give you headaches if you're not ready. (It's ok, I can't take it as well myself that I almost cried when I wrote this) Keep in mind that I have little to no evidence, therefore this theory is my original theory and purely just my assumptions so please take it with the grain of salt (as usual).

Before I explain, I want to say that I did this analysis and research purely because I want a base to make a hc for Crowley for my own fanfic/yumeship since we have little to no information about him. I just feel the need to get it all off my head and share it here because of how complicated it is and to better understand what kind of Crowley he is in my lore that I created, since how I see of Crowley is very different compared to how most people see Crowley. Most people see him as the mastermind, a very evil villain to the point most people in the fandom hate him unreasonably. I can guess it's because of almost all people in the fandom, both JP and EN side doesn't know what twisted he is and he is just mysterious and ambiguous that he is misunderstood.

Crowley has been believed for a long time as twisted from Diablo, Maleficent's raven because of his name. Some also suspected he's the crow in Snow White. Even so there's no telling of what he is twisted from. And don't you think it's a bit weird when both Diablo and the crow in Snow White role actually doesn't really have that much significance in their respective stories while we know Crowley would play a great part in twst as he is still the Headmaster of NRC. I'm sure twst fans have been dying to know what he is supposed to be for almost 3 years including myself, but I've always believed he is actually also twisted of something else other than Diablo and today I'm going to share my own analysis and hc of Crowley that hopefully would help you understand him and his character better, and that is :

Dire Crowley : Twisted of Mad Hatter

A long time ago I was just thinking, if Yuu supposed to be Alice that comes to a Wonderland, surely there should be Mad Hatter somewhere...? And then I remembered someone that seems to wear hat everywhere no matter the circumstances...

That's right, it's the Headmage of NRC, Dire Crowley.

And isn't it kind of weird that his hat is similar to that of Ramshackle ghost's? As if the clue is there in front of your eyes.

So I decided to look at it further and found something interesting....

Alice in Wonderland : The World of Math

Alice in Wonderland is a children's book because of its fantasy like story, but if you're a true book lover, you'll know that Alice in Wonderland is a book full of riddles. There are a lot of english wordplay but what not many people know is that most of the riddles in Alice in Wonderland are related to Math, as Carroll is also the Math Logician.

I won't explain much but this is an example of the math riddle in Alice in Wonderland (you can skip this part if it's too much. I just want to show you) :

In the chapter of "Advice from Caterpillar", Alice has fallen down the rabbit hole and eaten a cake that has shrunk her to a height of just 3 inches. The Caterpillar enters, smoking a hookah pipe, and shows Alice a mushroom that can restore her to her proper size. But one side of the mushroom stretches her neck, while another shrinks her torso, so she must eat exactly the right balance to regain her proper size and proportions. The word "hookah" is of Arabic origin, like "algebra", and the original Arabic term for algebra, widely known and used in the mathematical community in Carroll's time, was al jebr e al mokabala or "restoration and reduction" - which exactly describes Alice's experience. It's Carroll's view of the absurdity of symbolic algebra.

The reason why I strongly believe Crowley is/was the one who looped/rewind the time is because I suspect he is the Mad Hatter. I have always been drawing him based on this thoughts in my mind and of course it's not without reason. Every scenes in Alice in Wonderland contains riddles in it and most of them goes by math logic. And from all of those riddles, the "A Mad Tea Party" from Alice in Wonderland and "Wool and Water" from Through The Looking Glass are the only scenes that tells time in wonderland specifically that made Alice realizes time in Wonderland goes differently from her own world.

In one interview, Yana said it herself that she learned so much from Lewis Carroll's style of story telling. Carroll's background in Math and his interest in literatures allowed him to criticize ideas at that time through his Wonderland stories. This is what his story telling style is like when he made "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass". Doing analysis on Dire Crowley means that I should solve the riddle first and then do an actual analysis on him.

Now you know that Alice in Wonderland is about Math, so from this onwards, I'm going to do explanation how to solve the riddle while also explaining about Crowley along the way

Note : I'm not a Mathematician nor a Physician so there might be other things that I have no idea about but I'll do my best to explain the math riddle to you...

Mad Hatter and His Relation to Time

-Time for a T-Party : "A Mad Tea Party"- (Alice in Wonderland)

“It began with the tea,” the Hatter replied.

“Of course twinkling begins with a T!” said the King sharply. “Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!”

When you read "Tea Party" it sounds the same as "T-Party". "T" is the math symbol of "Time" in mathematics. At the time when Alice in Wonderland was written and published, a mathematician, Sir William Rowan Hamilton (1805–1865) invented "quaternion", a four dimensional extension to complex number that also represent rotations and orientation happening to the four dimensional object in three dimensional space.

To put it simply, quaternion is a four number system in mathematics that shows what happened to 3D objects if they are in timespace (4th dimension)

Note :

To make it easier to understand :

...-2.5,-2,-1, 0, 1, 2, 2.5...-> is real number

3.14 + 1.59i -> is complex number

3.23 + 8.46i + 2.64j + 3.38k -> is quaternion

The 1st dimension that represented by real numbers system is line.

The 2nd dimension that represented by complex number system are two-dimensional shapes (ex : rectangle, trapezoid)

The 3rd dimension that represented by adding one more imaginary dimension are three-dimensional shapes (ex : sphere, cube)

The 4th dimension that represented by adding two more imaginary dimension to complex number is timespace.

Quaternion is a four number system in the form of

q = a + bi + cj + dk

Where a , b , c , d are real numbers and i , j , k are "imaginary" unit hence why quaternion is also called "imaginary mathematics".

In Crowley's voice clip, he said :

Not only "imagination" is the key to use magic in Twisted Wonderland, this "imagination" might have relevance to something else as well but I'll skip this part for now and will explain it later in the last part. Just remember that this "imagination" is the key word to this theory and will guide you when you read further.

In 3D, 3 dimensional consist of 3 axis : length, width, and depth. In 4D, there's a fourth axis : Time.

Hamilton spent much of his life seeking a three-dimensional number system analogous to the complex numbers. He added two imaginary dimensions, (2.64j)and (3.38k) to the complex number (3.23 + 8.46i). Three imaginary dimensions describing spaces, and the real numbers sitting perpendicular to that in some kind of fourth dimension.

Hamilton said, if you take this time parameter out of these numbers, then the numbers would just keep rotating around － they won't go anywhere, like the characters rotating round and round the tea party, round and round the table.

“Ah! that accounts for it,” said the Hatter. “He won’t stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he’d do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o’clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you’d only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!”

(“I only wish it was,” the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)

“That would be grand, certainly,” said Alice thoughtfully: “but then—I shouldn’t be hungry for it, you know.”

“Not at first, perhaps,” said the Hatter: “but you could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked.”

“Is that the way you manage?” Alice asked.

The Hatter shook his head mournfully. “Not I!” he replied. “We quarrelled last March—just before he went mad, you know—” (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) “—it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing

‘Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!

How I wonder what you’re at!’

You know the song, perhaps?”

“I’ve heard something like it,” said Alice.

“It goes on, you know,” the Hatter continued, “in this way:—

‘Up above the world you fly,

Like a tea-tray in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle—’”

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep “Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle—” and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop.

“Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, ‘He’s murdering the time! Off with his head!’”

“How dreadfully savage!” exclaimed Alice.

“And ever since that,” the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, “he won’t do a thing I ask! It’s always six o’clock now.”

A bright idea came into Alice’s head. “Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?” she asked.

“Yes, that’s it,” said the Hatter with a sigh: “it’s always tea-time, and we’ve no time to wash the things between whiles.”

“Then you keep moving round, I suppose?” said Alice.

“Exactly so,” said the Hatter: “as the things get used up.”

“But what happens when you come to the beginning again?” Alice ventured to ask.

“Suppose we change the subject,” the March Hare interrupted, yawning. “I’m getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.”

Related to this scene, Hatter, Hare and Dormouse represent three terms of a quaternion, and the fourth term, Time, is absent because Hatter was upsetting the Time. Time won't allow those three to move past tea time and they can only move round the table in a loop, just like Hamilton attempts to calculate motion before the 4th dimension of time was added.

- Wool and Water - (Through the Looking Glass)

‘That’s the effect of living backwards,’ the Queen said kindly: ‘it always makes one a little giddy at first—’

‘Living backwards!’ Alice repeated in great astonishment. ‘I never heard of such a thing!’

‘—but there’s one great advantage in it, that one’s memory works both ways.’

‘I’m sure mine only works one way,’ Alice remarked. ‘I can’t remember things before they happen.’

‘It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,’ the Queen remarked.

‘What sort of things do you remember best?’ Alice ventured to ask.

‘Oh, things that happened the week after next,’ the Queen replied in a careless tone. ‘For instance, now,’ she went on, sticking a large piece of plaster on her finger as she spoke, ‘there’s the King’s Messenger. He’s in prison now, being punished: and the trial doesn’t even begin till next Wednesday: and of course the crime comes last of all.’

‘Suppose he never commits the crime?’ said Alice.

‘That would be all the better, wouldn’t it?’ the Queen said, as she bound the plaster round her finger with a bit of ribbon.

Alice felt there was no denying that. ‘Of course it would be all the better,’ she said: ‘but it wouldn’t be all the better his being punished.’

‘You’re wrong there, at any rate,’ said the Queen: ‘were you ever punished?’

‘Only for faults,’ said Alice.

‘And you were all the better for it, I know!’ the Queen said triumphantly.

‘Yes, but then I had done the things I was punished for,’ said Alice: ‘that makes all the difference.’

‘But if you hadn’t done them,’ the Queen said, ‘that would have been better still; better, and better, and better!’ Her voice went higher with each ‘better,’ till it got quite to a squeak at last.

Alice was just beginning to say ‘There’s a mistake somewhere—,’ when the Queen began screaming so loud that she had to leave the sentence unfinished. ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ shouted the Queen, shaking her hand about as if she wanted to shake it off. ‘My finger’s bleeding! Oh, oh, oh, oh!’

Her screams were so exactly like the whistle of a steam-engine, that Alice had to hold both her hands over her ears.

‘What is the matter?’ she said, as soon as there was a chance of making herself heard. ‘Have you pricked your finger?’

‘I haven’t pricked it yet,’ the Queen said, ‘but I soon shall—oh, oh, oh!’

‘When do you expect to do it?’ Alice asked, feeling very much inclined to laugh.

‘When I fasten my shawl again,’ the poor Queen groaned out: ‘the brooch will come undone directly. Oh, oh!’ As she said the words the brooch flew open, and the Queen clutched wildly at it, and tried to clasp it again.

‘Take care!’ cried Alice. ‘You’re holding it all crooked!’ And she caught at the brooch; but it was too late: the pin had slipped, and the Queen had pricked her finger.

‘That accounts for the bleeding, you see,’ she said to Alice with a smile. ‘Now you understand the way things happen here.’

The Wool and Water chapter from "Through the Looking Glass" is another chapter that gives a hint to Alice about time, particularly how time in the mirror world goes (it's moving backwards). Similar to how "A Mad Tea-Party" chapter in "Alice in Wonderland" does.

This chapter also mentioned the "King's Messenger" who is in prison and is being punished, which later in chapter "The Lion and The Unicorn" turns out to be "Hatta", the "Hatter" in "Through The Looking Glass" (and he is still drinking tea just like the "Hatter" in "Alice in Wonderland"). This chapter is the first time where Hatter (now Hatta) being mentioned in "Through The Looking Glass".

Mad Hatter, Crow, and Raven : The Key to Time is the Corvid

The first thing Hatter said when he met Alice for the first time was :

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?”

Carroll said, all the riddles in his books aren't actually meant to be solved therefore he never gave an answer to it for the readers of his works. But interestingly later, from all of his riddles this one riddle became the only riddle that has an answer from Carroll himself since his readers were so persistent. Here's what he said :

Enquiries have been so often addressed to me, as to whether any answer to the Hatter's Riddle can be imagined, that I may as well put on record here what seems to me to be a fairly appropriate answer, viz:

'Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat; and it is nevar put with the wrong end in front!' This, however, is merely an afterthought; the Riddle, as originally invented, had no answer at all.

He wasn't actually giving the answer, but he was giving a hint on how to solve the riddle by ourself.

The answer to the riddle is like his other poem riddles where each sentence has a single word meaning – a charade.

'Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat;'

This first sentence in a single word describes a ‘letter’.

'and it is nevar put with the wrong end in front!'

The second sentence in a single word is simply ‘backwards’.

The word ‘Letter’ has a double meaning of one you send in the post or one in the alphabet.

When you read the letters in the word "nevar" in backwards, it will be "raven"

This answer related to Hatter's riddle on Carroll's first publication had never intentionally misspelt with a letter ‘a’ which is Raven spelt with the wrong end in front. He was describing the word ‘backwards’ in his second sentence just like his other charade poems.

Carroll is good at saying something with double meanings so the hint doesn't end there in the charade just like that. The second sentence, when you read the sentence just as it is 'and it is nevar put with the wrong end in front!' with your focus on the word "nevar" means that "The wrong end in front isn't the same as the end in back"

This refers to the order of multiplication in quaternion which is non-commutative. Quaternion represents rotations and orientation happening to the four dimensional object in three dimensional space. Swapping the order on how you do the multiplication will changes the answer.

If you do the multiplication clockwise, it will gives you positive answer : i x j = k

If you do the multiplication counter-clockwise, it will gives you negative answer : j x i = -k

Hence in quaternion i x j is not the same as j x i

( i x j ≠ j x i )

This non-commutative order of multiplication in quaternion later implied by what Hatter said after he asked the riddle to Alice.

“Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “You might just as well say that ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as ‘I eat what I see’!”

“You might just as well say,” added the March Hare, “that ‘I like what I get’ is the same thing as ‘I get what I like’!”

“You might just as well say,” added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, “that ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same thing as ‘I sleep when I breathe’!”

“It is the same thing with you,” said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn’t much.

Additionally, in "Through The Looking Glass" (the scene in 'Wool and Water') where Alice finally realized how the time goes in the world behind the mirror was happened when a giant crow covered the sky so it feels like it's nighttime, and the crow goes away after White Queen explained how time goes in through the looking glass.

By this time it was getting light. ‘The crow must have flown away, I think,’ said Alice: ‘I’m so glad it’s gone. I thought it was the night coming on.’

The giant crow appeared at the last part of the previous chapter of Wool and Water, 'Tweedledum and Tweedledee'

It was getting dark so suddenly that Alice thought there must be a thunderstorm coming on. ‘What a thick black cloud that is!’ she said. ‘And how fast it comes! Why, I do believe it’s got wings!’

‘It’s the crow!’ Tweedledum cried out in a shrill voice of alarm: and the two brothers took to their heels and were out of sight in a moment.

Alice ran a little way into the wood, and stopped under a large tree. ‘It can never get at me here,’ she thought: ‘it’s far too large to squeeze itself in among the trees. But I wish it wouldn’t flap its wings so—it makes quite a hurricane in the wood—here’s somebody’s shawl being blown away!’

In 'Wool and Water' White Queen said to Alice:

‘I’m sure I’ll take you with pleasure!’ the Queen said. ‘Twopence a week, and jam every other day.’

Alice couldn’t help laughing, as she said, ‘I don’t want you to hire me—and I don’t care for jam.’

‘It’s very good jam,’ said the Queen.

‘Well, I don’t want any to-day, at any rate.’

‘You couldn’t have it if you did want it,’ the Queen said. ‘The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday—but never jam to-day.’

‘It must come sometimes to “jam to-day,”’ Alice objected.

‘No, it can’t,’ said the Queen. ‘It’s jam every other day: to-day isn’t any other day, you know.’

‘I don’t understand you,’ said Alice. ‘It’s dreadfully confusing!’

‘That’s the effect of living backwards,’ the Queen said kindly: ‘it always makes one a little giddy at first—’

She said 'That's the effect of living backwards'

If we look back at "A Mad Tea Party" from Alice in Wonderland, these chapter are related to each other and those are :

‘Twopence a week, and jam every other day.’

The King’s Messenger (Hatta) who was in prison and being punished when this dialogue happened, White Queen said his trial doesn’t even begin till next Wednesday. Wednesday is the 3rd day of the week. If you multiply twopence by 3, you'll get 6 pence, which can be refered to the cost of the Hatter's hat, the price tag on the hat he wears. 10 shillings, 6 pence (10/6)

‘No, it can’t,’ said the Queen. ‘It’s jam every other day: to-day isn’t any other day, you know.’

The word 'jam' in english can also means 'stuck'. And in addition to the 6 in sixpence and how the White Queen talks about the King's messenger who is in prison afterwards, this is referring to the Hatter in 'Alice in Wonderland' who is stuck in time and becomes the prisoner of time, since he can't move past 6 o’clock (tea time)

And then the 'to-day isn’t any other day' part once again refers to the order of multiplication in quaternion which is non-commutative.

Interestingly In chapter 6 of twst, Crowley also get "arrested" to the Island of Woe along with overblot students and got stuck there. He is helpless and can't do anything about it. Just like Hatter in mad tea party and when Hatta is imprisoned.

Crowley's name, "Dire Crowley" was formed from the wordplay of Japanese katakana just like how Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass are full of wordplay. When being translated to Japanese, his name becomes

" ディア・クロウリ"

read : "Dia Kurouri"

Crowley's first name, Dire, has been retconned to be pronounced as "Dia" for katakana wordplay that makes it extremely similar to "Diablo", the name of Maleficient's raven in Sleeping Beauty when being read.

ディアブロ = Diaboro (Diablo)

ディアクロ = Dia Kuro

The riddle "Raven like a writing desk", particularly the word "Raven" is the key that refers to the never-ending mad tea party. Is this why Crowley always says he is kind because the collective name for Ravens is an Unkindness which is also Hatter's personal remarks about Alice's hair?

The name "Dire Crowley" also contains the word "Crow" in it. In addition to the crow being a hint in Through The Looking Glass that refers back to the Mad Tea Party, in the chapter of "A Mad Tea Party" from Alice in Wonderland, Hatter said :

“Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, ‘He’s murdering the time! Off with his head!’”

Here the Hatter was being accused of 'murdering' the Time rather than just killing time, and hence the tea party being stopped at tea time. You know what is the collective noun for Crows? That's right, a murder of Crows.

Seeing how his name can form both "Crow" and "Raven", the key answer to the Mad Hatter riddle that relates to time and 4th dimension means that the key to another dimension (which also means a way for Yuu to go back home) is actually Crowley himself.

All this time, it's not that he doesn't know how to send Yuu back home and doesn't want to find a way for Yuu to go back. He knows from the very beginning ever since Yuu came to Twisted Wonderland because it was Crowley himself who summoned them. There's really no need for him to search a way for Yuu to go back to their world because he already knows. But just like every unique magic which has their own condition to work and its limitations no matter how powerful it is, Crowley's unique magic also has its limitations and can only be done in certain condition, which I'm going to explain later.

Also, if you didn't skip anything when you read this part, you will notice that Hatter/Hatta seems to always has trouble with laws. Just like Crowley does.

Crowley and His Connection to Blot : Mad Hatter Disease

The idiom “mad as a hatter” was around long before Carroll started writing. Colloquially used to describe an eccentric person, “mad as a hatter” is based on a problem that arose in the 1800s when hat companies used mercury in the hat-making process. The mercury got into their systems and they went insane, hence the term “mad as a hatter”.

The real milliners (hatters) in the old days used mercury at cluing the felt in hats making. During that process some of that mercury vaporized and the felt maker/ milliner accidently breathed some of that. And when they were exposed to mercury for many years it really started affecting them: skin began to pale down, nails began to gain some "yellowish" color, hair started to become fuzzy. Even pupils could become dilated. This is what later is called "Mad Hatter Syndrome/Disease"

The effect of Mercury on human bodies seems to be similar with overblot in Twisted Wonderland, since those who are overbloting will have change in their appearance (skin began to pale down), changes in behaviour and goes insane.

When this theory is written, we still don't know whether Lilia's magic is depleted because of old age or something else, but if it's because of old age, why does Crowley can still use magic in game (refer to Ortho's R vignette) while it seems like he is at the same age as Lilia or maybe even older?

Paler skin is one of the change in appearance for those who are overbloting. The fact that Crowley's skin tone is paler than even for normal faes (his skin shade is more of grayish rather than brownish when being compared to Malleus and Lilia) means that he might have been exposed to blot for a very long time just like the hatter in 1800s.

There're two possibilities why Crowley covers upper half of his face:

1. He is immortal.

This refers to Mad Hatter when he sings at the great concert given by Queen of Hearts and later accused for murdering the time by her. He should have been beheaded at that time, but somehow managed to escape and still alive and later having tea party with March Hare and Dormouse and can't move from there.

In "A Mad Tea Party" (chapter 7 of Alice in Wonderland) :

“Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, ‘He’s murdering the time! Off with his head!’”

And in "Who Stole The Tarts" (chapter 11 of Alice in Wonderland) :

All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers of the court, “Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!” on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.

2. It really is just my guess but if Crowley's magic has been depleted a long time ago just like Lilia, what if, the reason why even until now he can still uses magic is because he reuses magic excess, blot to perform magic and constantly poisoning himself with it just like hatters in 1800s?

As Mad Hatter, he might have immunity to blot just like Idia with his burning hair (his body can burn and cleanse blot) that it won't affect his mental state because his logic is already beyond comprehension and thus, technically he can't overblot (that's why he doesn't have phantom with him) since he is already "mad" even before he poisoned himself. But even though the blot doesn't affect his mental state, it still affects his body and his body starts to resemble those who overblot. His skin becomes paler, his lips turns black, and blot mark appears around his eyes so that he will need to cover it to hide it. That would also explain why in the prologue when he brought Yuu to Twisted Wonderland he says he is running out of time because his body is already at its limit.

Below is the explanation of blot by Crowley :

And explanation by Idia indicating that blot is a toxic substance.

Yeah, I know this is not the only explanation from Idia about blot. I chose this one for this part because even though I want to explain further since there's still something more about Crowley I need to explain, Tumblr decided to say no as I can't upload more photos(already reaching its limit). I want to explain my personal opinion about Crowley's intention based on my endless research on him for years but I guess this is it.

End Note : Originally I intended to explain it in one go and finish it all here in this part because it still connected to each other but I guess I'll still need to split it into two parts. I promise I'll explain the rest on the last part of this theory/analysis. Besides I'm afraid I might really break your brain if I do explain it all in one go so this is all for now.

#twisted wonderland #dire crowley #twst crowley #twst thoughts #twst theory #It's no longer a twst theory it's an academic paper #The fact that Crowley made me write a thesis about him-#but this is why I love him

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abstract-crossverse · 3 months

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breathes for air I WAS THAT ONE ANON THAT SAW YOU IN THE DARK DECEPTION FANDOM LONG AGO so I see ur taking Doors requests may I May I request a fluffy Seek x reader thank you so much (vanishes)

Hi hello! Good to see you again even if I don't quite remember you, anyway, here’s the goop man you ordered, my dearest apologies for taking so long, life has been a mess This will be a one-shot sort of thing, I hope that's okay! Honestly I missed writing, I have to do this more often again, finally clean the dust off this ole blog

CW/TW// Description of wound, wound, mention of needles(in a stinging feeling way), blood, general injury

===========================

“Scrapes” // [Seek x Reader, fic, fluff]

Seek and you had been a couple for a couple of weeks now, the rest of the hotel’s entities still don't know this, and Seek would honestly rather keep it that way, it’s none of their business anyway.

How come? Well regardless if they told the others, they’d still kill you the same if you end up getting caught unless Seek manages to convince them to not kill you outright, which is hard to do, some of the entities simply don't give a fuck, it doesn't matter, nothing changes aside the fact they know, and your beloved — don't get him wrong he adores everyone in the hotel like family — but he doesn't trust everyone enough to not let that fact slip to Jack, the Hotel’s founder, one of them anyway.

Jack is… he’d never let him live it down, not to mention the entity would either kill you permanently or turn you into one of them as Seek’s punishment for being anything more than a monster designed and ordered to kill any Players in Jack’s twisted game of… what even would this be? Tag? Hide and Seek? He doesn't know and he doesn't care.

And despite your relationship, you still attempt to leave the hotel, repeating the same routine over and over as you wake up in the lobby, get to the hotel, go through and either die to someone or get to the elevator. Seek doesn't mind, he doesn’t blame you, he’d also try to leave if he were still human like you, he does give you an easier time to escape his corridor when he needs to pop up, being intentionally slower or pretend to be stuck in his own sludge to give you a head start, he doesn't want to kill you, he hates doing that, so he rigs his hallway for you to escape, more so, he rigs himself more than his hallway.

At the moment, Seek had been waiting for you to get to his level, his brother Hide alerting him of you coming near, Hide is the only one who does know of your relationship, the sibling is far too shy to talk with anyone else nor do they even like Jack to interact with the entity further than a greeting, he was grateful for that at least.

He heard footsteps enter the hallway from under the floorboards, waiting as this could be a different person, he never knew, the floorboards were especially hard to peek through, so he waited until he heard the knock he told you to do. Once you tapped your shoe in the rhythm he taught you, he excitedly seeped through the boards into a puddle on the ground before forming into his usual humanoid shape.

“Salutations, my darling, how have you been-” he stopped, mid-way into fixing his tie, looking at your slumped form, puffy red eyes and occasional sniffles, you’ve been crying, he took another moment to look over you…

One of your arms was bloody, soaked almost. He had a hunch of who did this, but wasn't sure if it was correct.

You weren’t sad per se, more in pain than anything, he figured the pain was enough to bring you to tears, it stung his heart to see you this way. He looked at you softly as she tilted his head slightly, offering his hand to you, you took it as he silently led you to the next room, the library that would be usually falling apart when players came by, now intact had many bookshelves, chairs, lamps and drawers, including a big couch he sat you down on

He opened the window next to you both, taking a first aid kit from one of the tar covered arms that usually showed themselves on the last stretch of your lover’s chase, he closed the window as the arm slithered back into the void outside, sitting down next to you as he opened the kit and reached a hand to you, silently asking for your injured arm as you rubbed your eyes from their wetness.

“So… tell me dear, what happened?” he spoke softly lifting your sleeve and taking a look at the damage, your arm still soaked in blood, he could assume a chunk of skin was missing

“... I got scratched by Ambush…” you leaned against the couch as you winced at the burning sensation the air hitting your wound gave you, Seek gave you a side glance, he wanted further explanation, you let out a sigh “I got ambushed by Ambush, almost buffered my timing and his particles grazed my arm real bad-” you hissed in pain and tensed as Seek suddenly had a warm wet towel in hand, patting your wound gently, you got confused for a moment before realizing the arm probably brought it to him again, you could feel light cold spots on the towel caused by it getting wet by the rain outside

“I see, well I am glad you didn’t meet your demise today.” he stated as he cleaned the blood, he could see the wound more clearly now as the blood was mostly clean aside the new blood starting to pool again, you had a chunk of skin missing as if someone had ripped part of your skin with wax or something similar, the skin under incredibly reddish and sensitive

He was surprised to hear that Ambush had caused this, he was almost certain that Screech was the culprit, this critter sometimes took out more than he could chew, including chunks of skin or flesh.

The entity heard your nails scratch the couch as you gripped the seat, he felt your arm tense in his hold as he patted the wound with a dry towel before applying an antibiotic to it, stopping for a moment to press a kiss to your temple as you groaned in pain

“My dearest apologies this hurts so much, but as is the nature of healing, I have to do this, Dove.” He said, gently rubbing his forehead to the side of your head as he continued to apply the ointment, the burning was going away, but it was still there to sting, like needles to your arm, you winced before laying your head on his shoulder as he began bandaging the injury, sighing in relief as the pain subsided a bit, there was nothing he could do if this lead into needing stitches, he’s no medical profession nor can those claws of his sew at all

Leaning his head on top of yours as he took your hand in his, he spoke

“Due to the nature of the hotel, You’ll heal far quicker than you would usually, however we’ll still need to treat it and change the bandages until it is healed.” You hummed in exhaustion, acknowledging what he told you as you relaxed against him, at least you were with him now, you could relax for a while until he had to go again to do whatever with the other players that came around.

“Thank you, Seek…” you mumbled as he moved to hold you, deciding to pull you on top of him as you laid himself down on the couch, you obliged and moved yourself as he silently wanted cuddles. He made sure your injured arm wouldn't be disturbed or put any pressure on as he held you, your head on his chest as he laid kisses on your head, you giggled, there we go

“Hm… Other than that unfortunate event, what else did you do today, my dear?” he moved a hand to rub your back, your legs tangled as you sighed over the comforting movement along your spine, “Well… I talked with a couple new people that end up here, poor guys were freaking out…” you chuckled, “but otherwise things were fine, same old, I did see Halt today, it’s always interesting to see them as they don't often show up…”

Your lover hummed, delightfully surprised at the mention of his ghostly friend, “ah, they came around, how lovely. Have you ever tried striking a conversation?” he looked down at you softly as his hand moved to play with your hair now “I tried yea, but they never respond, I see they get surprised at it though, I don't think they expect anything other than silence from Players that know their deal or freaking out to themselves.” you laughed, Seek let out a chuckle as well

“Ah yes, they are never one to chat too much, it’s alright though, I’m sure they’ll come around eventually if you really want them to.” he assured, closing his eye as he felt your heartbeat and warmth against him, he was usually always cold, it comforted him to feel your form against him, assure him that you're still here, alive and breathing.

You closed your eyes as well, both resting in comfortable silence as you feel the rise and fall of his chest, once you mentioned his constant stillness whenever you two cuddle is slightly unnerving, so he makes an effort to imitate breathing, something he hasn't done in so long, it took him a while to get used to it again, but he says it's also comforting to him, reminding him he’s still human in a way, you wonder how he does it.

Eventually he felt your hand that rested on his shoulder slide and fell to the cushions, he chuckled silently as he opened his eye to find you comfortably asleep on his chest, he went back to rubbing your back as you cuddled more into him in your sleep. One of the big arms opened the window quietly and draped a blanket over the two of you before slithering back into the void and closing the window, Seek listened to your gentle snores and the rain hitting the walls outside, for such a day to end in comfort and warmth, he never thought he’d have a moment like this before you showed up.

He carefully moved to press a kiss to the top of your head before laying his head back down, maybe he could get some shut-eye himself, he doesn't quite remember how sleeping feels like anymore, what a lovely way to try that again.

===========================

#maskwrites #doors seek #doors roblox #roblox doors #seek x reader #seek doors #x reader #doors x reader #fic #oneshot #anon

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wangxianficfinder · 2 years

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Fic Finder

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1. hi im trying to find this fic i remember it being a hurt no comfort were instead of mxy sacrificing his like to bring wwx back its lwj who does it and lwj does it somewhere during those 13 years instead of after then theres this scene where wwx wakes up and lxc enters and said some similar to "he actually did it"

not FOUND 若有来世，你还愿意吗; if there is an afterlife, are you still willing? by luyepiaofeng (T, 5k, wangxian, major character death, hurt no comfort, angst, self-sacrifice, rituals)

FOUND! for you, all for you「给你, 都给你」 by headBONDmeLWJ (T, 3k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, major character death, canon divergence, angst, hurt/comfort)

not FOUND it's torture (being in love) by ryneisaterriblefan (Not rated, <1k, major character death, heavy angst, hurt no comfort, angst & feels)

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2. Hi!I have been looking for this fic for forever and keep trying to back through tags and posts, but am having no luck! I know I read it from your tumble quite a long time ago, when I was first getting into reading in the fandom and going through the blog to find recs. It’s set before WWX comes back, and it is LWJ and JC getting in some kind of fight during a cultivation world conference or something?

I am 98% sure it was LSZ point of view, and what I remember most clearly is that JC makes some kind of comment and all of a sudden LWJ just straight up decks him or something along those lines? I remember that LSZ (and everyone else) was so shocked that LWJ would do something like that no one really knows how to react. Any help would be greatly appreciated! This blog is amazing and I cannot tell you how many wonderful fics I have found and loved because of it!

FOUND? Better than a Mouthful of Blood by mondengel (T, 1k, gen)

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3. Hi, I'm looking for a fic whereby Wèi Wúxiàn and Jīang Chéng slowly reconcile and towards the end Wèi Wúxiàn was injured. They had a healer in training under an older Jīang healer which turns out to be Wen Qing. In the end there was a golden core transfer from Jīang Chéng to Wèi Wúxiàn and it becomes a shared golden core.

FOUND?💖 Twelve Moons and a Fortnight series by stiltonbasket (M, wangxian, 478k, Mojo’s post)

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4. Hi i forgot to bookmark that one fic where wwx goes back in time and gives up his sight for a second chance, do any of you know it? Thanks mods you are the bestest

FOUND? The Darkness Before Dawn by PsycheStellata707 (M, 113k, WIP, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, BAMF WWX, Time Travel, Attempt at Humor, PTSD, Oblivious WWX, WWX-centric, Blind WWX, Sentient Burial Mounds, Self-Indulgent, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Except Those Who Deserves to Die, Oblivious Pining, Not Canon Compliant)

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5. Heyo! If it's not too much trouble, I'm hoping the lovely mods and your detectives will be able to find two fics for me.

A) There's a part where WWX reminds LWJ of a point during the Sunshot Campaign where they all had to camp put in a brothel. LXC was fairly embarrassed, but NMJ pointed out there were no prostitutes there at the time (think the roof had come down or something).

B) At one point WWX remembers how as a child he once put a cushion up his shirt pretending to be pregnant and got told off by his teacher. At home Yu Ziyuan said something like 'Why can't Wei Ying be a mom?' and let he and Yanli play house. Jiang Fengmian also showed little WWX how to fold a blanket as a baby sling. Sorry for the rambling, and thank you all in advance!

5A)

FOUND! 🧡 Timing is Everything by Talayse (T, 17k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, canon levels of blood, soft, caretaker LWJ)

5B)

You Sing of Thanatos; I Hear Only Eros by kanonkita (E, 39k, WangXian, MIND THE TAGS, Modern AU, Extremely Dubious Consent, Dark!LWJ, Mild Horror, Omorashi, Tentacles, Rope Bondage, Shibari, Praise Kink, Breeding Kink, Oviposition, Non-Consensual Body Modification, soft pillow talk, Hurt/Comfort, non-consensual emotional healing, Panic Attacks, Wetting, Body Horror, Impotence, Magic, Anal Sex, PIV Sex, Mpreg, Mild Suicidal Ideation, Voyeurism, PWP, Angst, nonconsensual medical treatment) specifically in chapter 6. i hope it’s right cause it sounded super familiar and i’ve been looking for so long!!!

~*~

6. Hi~ I'm looking for a fic I read a while back, it was like a vampire au where wwx turns into a vampire as well as the wen sect remnants. I think I remember a part where wen chao pushes him into the burial mounds and to keep wwx alive, wen qing turned him. Pls help me find this one 🙏 I enjoyed it so much that I want to reread it! Thnx!

FOUND? blacked out sky by butchgoth (GremlinGirl) (M, 45k, wangxian, vampires, blood, family drama, hurt WWX, minor character death, romance, angst w/ happy ending, hallucinations, fluff, tragedy, revenge)

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7. Hallo, I'm trying to find a fic and would be grateful for your help! It's simalar to: The Ribbon Incident (and how to fix it) by esk95, WWX finds out about the meaning of the forehead ribbon after he tore it off at the archery competition. The difference is that it wasn't LXC to tell him about the meaning, I can't exactly really remember who it was but I think it was either JYL or JC and he was at Lotus Pier when he foud out. I also remeber he was playing/swimming at the lake with his shidis/JC when this happened. Thank you!

FOUND? Changes by Duochanfan (Not Rated, 45k, WIP, WangXian, Drama, Mpreg, Shapeshifters, Sunshot Campaign, Baby LSZ, Angst with a Happy Ending, JGS is a warning unto himself, Past Miscarriage, Good YZY, injuries, Death of people ,Not anyone we like)

~*~

8. Hi I tried finding this fix for a week myself but I really can't. It's a fix about how wx is like an immortal or god and he met wj. They keep meeting/bumping outside cloud recess. The most notable I remember is wx is like part of the royal family cause he descended back with his family or idk that's the ending sorry if it's vague that's all I really remember. thank you @ladyxyraine

FOUND? cloudy autumn heaps the sky by anatheme (T, 23k, WangXian, Fantasy, Secret Identity, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Timeline What Timeline, wwx is a little older here, wwx piling gifts on lwj and encouraging hoarding tendencies, Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Arranged Marriage, of sorts)

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9. You guys do such wonderful work finding fics!

Thank you for everything you do!I’m looking for a fic I read that was complete by spring 2020. It was a longer fic, modern AU, in which wwx baked things and gifted them to people as part of his social media presence and to brighten people’s days. I think he got hired to teach either LXC or JGY how to bake so that they could bake something for the other one in order to ask him out? It also might have been a coffee shop au in which Lotus Pier was a coffee shop and the Wens were trying to buy it?

Thank you very much for everything you do!

FOUND? i swim in hollow lakes carved from memories by spookykingdomstarlight (T, 154k, wangxian, LXC/JGY, modern, coffee shop au, music, baking, social media, misunderstandings, fake dating, flashbacks, pining, angst w/ happy ending, vlogger WWX, musician LWJ, matchmaking, slow burn, second chances)

~*~

10. hello there's a good I've spent hours trying to find so it's a complete story what when wei wuxian comes from the burial mounds he is possessed and wei wuxian is dead but there's some demon in his body and will wuxian gets resurrected in mo xuanyus body and killed the demon... Thanks a lot @mybestfriendisacinnamonroll

FOUND? Demon in the Blood by mondengel (M, 2k, JYL & WWX, major character death, angst, body horror, horror)

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11. Hey! Can anyone please help me find the fic on ao3 where Lwj and wwx went to catch water ghouls and when lwj carried him out he performed a mouth to mouth on wwx which wwx he performed on other disciples too and wwx gets jealoused. And I guess they were betrothed so Can anyone please help? I lost it when I was reading.

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12. I'm looking for a fic I read years ago where LWJ accidentally time travels back to student days and is trying to figure out what to do about the upcoming series of disasters. LXC takes one look at him and goes: what happened? it was that bad? how could something that bad have happened without me knowing about it too? was it time travel? it must have been time travel. At least we now know what needs to be fixed! And meanwhile LWJ hasn't said anything at all and LXC is just going off his unintentional micro expressions. @marbleglove

FOUND! This tumblr fic by @robininthelabyrinth I don't know if it's on AO3 or not but it sounds a lot like this post here

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13. There is a fic where the spirit/ghost/memories of one of the Lan sect founders possess each sect leader in turn through a ritual, and Lan Qiren and Lan Wanji figure it out because they don't want to lose Lan Xichen. I can't find it, please help! It was dark and angsty and probably AO3. @artemisdax

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14. Need help. Literally the only thing I can remember is Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian in a hot spring. For whatever reason they couldn't go to the cold springs because it was too cold or something and so they went to the secret natural hot springs that the Lan sect has further up the mountain. Truly can't remember anything else.

FOUND? i'd like to drown with you by vespertineflora (E, 7k, wangxian, post-canon, established relationship, smut, outdoor sex, PWP)

~*~

15. Looking for a fic where LWJ puts tracking talismans in WWX's shoes so he can find him when WWX is traveling without him. I read it a while ago and can't remember the name of it.TY in advance. :) @isilwath

FOUND? Scars Where They Used to Be by CwythanWind (E, 58k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, rogue troublemaker WWX, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Cutting, Panic Attacks, Alcohol, switch rights!, Anal Sex, Combing Each Other’s Hair, Nightmares, Tender Body Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

16. Hi! I hope you are doing well :) I would like to ask for your help finding a story, I think you recommended it before, but don't remember enough to find it myself (could also be I read it on twt). It was a modern au, I just remember WWX was in love with LWJ since school, he even wrote a letter and hid it in one of LWJ's books, because he always checked what WWX gave hom back, but not that time, he actually never finds the letter. I think they meet in college as roomates. Do you know it?

FOUND! love letter threadfic by spookykingdomstarlight (T, 3k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, love letters, pining, misunderstandings, angst w/ happy ending)

~*~

17. Hello! I don’t remember much of the fic, but I do remember that it was a “watching the series” fic and that it featured CQL’s interpretation of Nightless City, wherein the cultivators were killing each other, and Sizhui was Very Not Happy. Sorry it’s so vague!

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18. I've been trying to find this wangxian (I'm pretty sure it was) where WWX for one reason or another had some sort of chronic pain, (i think it was from zidian), and hed have many flare-ups of pain and JYL and JC would help and take care of him.

I just remember this specific scene where theyre camping outside Cloud Recesses after being denied entry, and JYL and JC are worried about WWX's pain from sleeping outside overnight, and help him when he almost can't move from pain in the morning.

I would really appreciate your help in finding it! @shieldherostuffs

FOUND! The Untamed Retelling by DCandMARVELnerd (T, 68k, WIP, WangXian, Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Dysfunctional Family, Abuse, Retelling, Canon Rewrite, Friends to Lovers, Romantic Friendship, Developing Friendships, Love, Fluff, Angst and Feels, Selectively Mute WWX)

~*~

19. Hii!! Can you please help me find this fic where yu ziyuan was concubine of jin guangshan , jiang yanli and jiang cheng where his offspring and also thank so much for your hard work.

FOUND? Pretty sure this one is OOC! by A_flower_in_the_snow (T, 106k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, ooc LWJ, not Jiang friendly, protective LWJ, possessive LWJ, hurt WWX, rogue cultivator WWX, temporary amnesia, dark JYL) which has unfortunately been deleted.

~*~

20. Hello I was looking for a new wangxian fic on ao3. I don’t remember much except that at some point wei ying was accused of blinding jgy and as punishment had to give up his eyes to to jgy and lan wangji performed the operation. After wei ying woke up, he felt betrayed by lan wangji and jumped. I also think there was something going on btw jgy and nmj @nerdalert997

FOUND? Ten miles of Lotus Flowers by Yukirin_Snow (M, 273k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Romance, Slow Burn, Pain, Hurt/Comfort, True Love, Pregnancy, Humor, Eventual Smut, Angst, Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending) The particular scene is in chapter 28 Hope this is correct! 😁

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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thesmokingguns · 1 year

Text

Library Meetings

word count: 1860

rating: PG-13 some very small implications of smut but nothing serious

A/N: never wrote for this fandom before but became very obsessed with The Darkling and needed to purge some of the manic energy from my mind.

The nightmares plagued you since you were young. The Fold, the darkness and terror. Your mothers screams and your fathers attempts to save you. The swirl of darkness around you as the creatures danced through the air in a practiced killing performance. You had run, a small inconsequential thing until light bathed you again. But the few moments you had been in there had changed everything for you.

“Aleksander.” you sat up, calling for him. His name on your lips as you touched them to remind yourself to silence yourself. You shouldn’t make a scene but it was hard at night, when everything was dark to keep yourself quiet. Calling out for the General out of all people was also something you didn’t want the others to hear you do in the Little Palace.

You rose from the bed, reaching for your robe and wrapping it around yourself. The thin nightgown covered by the cream colored robe you wore. The light colors calmed you, gave you a sense of light in all the darkness that you feared. Creeping from your bedroom, bare feet on the stone as you moved towards the library.

You’d go to the library and feel safe there. You knew that being in the .

You had first met him there, having been naive and not realizing that you were entering the general's private space. It was light there and you craved the softness of it, especially after wandering the hallways as you tried to avoid sleep. Picking through books as he watched you from the shadows, waiting far too long before he talked to you. Thinking about the night, it was only a couple weeks ago, made your stomach knot as you followed along the same path.

The night where he had talked to you, smiled at you in a way you hadn’t expected. He talked to you like you were a person, pulling your life story from you and all the nightmares you had. He was surprised at how you had asked about him and when you had touched his hand, laying your fingers over his in comfort you knew he had been surprised at how good it felt.

It had started more. Little things like he would see you in your training and come over to correct you, tell you what to do. Any excuse for him to touch you, you realized. And you started wandering into his library, watching him look up from his book as he pretended that he hadn’t realized you were coming in but always making sure to make you feel welcome here..

And then you had walked in after a nightmare and it had changed everything.

When you had come to him, shaking and terrified he had held you as you cried. The fear you had in you was so raw that it had shocked General Kirigan for the sheer power of it. Amazed that such a creature could hold so much hurt. But he had calmed you down, made you drink a hot drink and settled you on his lap as he read to you. Watching you as you slept without worry for the first time.

The next morning you woke up first, blushing as you realized you were on his lap in the library. The general was asleep under you, arms wrapped around you as you felt the strength in his guard that he never let down. Your fingers had a mind of their own, pushing some of his dark hair from his face, thumb tracing over his lips.His eyes fluttered open, shocked that you were watching him and smiling

“Aren’t you afraid that I could bite?” he teased you but you shook your head, a knot in your belly as his eyes furrowed, seeing that there was something on your mind, “What is it little darling. What’s on your mind?” Your tongue touched your top lip as you felt the flush of embarrassment passing through you.

“I want to kiss you.” You admitted, afraid to lie to him. “May I kiss you, General Kirigan?” you asked, his dark eyes on you as he tried to gauge what you were thinking. Usually your mind went wild and he could see the race of thoughts in your eyes.

“Only if you call me Aleksander.” His hand was cupping your face now, looking at you as you nodded your head at him in agreement with his terms.

“Aleksander.” And you had kissed him, tasting the surprise at how you were pressing against him, lips firmly planted as you tasted your future in his mouth. He had held you against him until there was a knock on the door and he realized what was going on.

He had gotten up, moving to block you as he went to see what was needed from him. You were so embarrassed that you had taken the hidden stairs he had shown you before, coming out in another hall and staying away from him in fear of embarrassing yourself by asking to be kissed again.

You had kissed him two mornings ago and had been too ashamed to go back, feeling foolish and stupid for having a crush on him. You weren’t a high ranking grisha and were new to the little palace, who did you think you were making moves at such a powerful person? And the General had been called away for something so you were safe in traveling to his library now. You could have the sense of him being there without having to run into him.

The door was open and a few candles stayed lit because the servants had habits they kept up, even when he wasn’t around. Your eyes scanned the room, thankful you were alone. Your eyes closed, breathing in and touching your lips as you smiled. You could smell him here and just sensing a part of him made the nerves from your bad dreams start to fade away.

His cloak was thrown over a chair and you were surprised a servant hadn’t cleared it away. Moving to the couch you grabbed a book, looking around and pulling it over you, face rubbing against the fabric and sighing out as you felt like he was wrapped around you. If you closed your eyes just for a second you could sleep for just a few minutes and wake up before breakfast to sneak back to your rooms.

You pulled the cloak around you, tighter as you snuggled up, letting your eyes close and drifting off to sleep.

General Kirian had returned in the middle of the night, he had been expecting to see Y/N but being in a rather sour mood when he saw that Y/N was not there. After the kiss he had expected things to all fall into place. He had given you his name after all and thought you understood how personal that was and how he was opening himself up for you. But instead you had skirted away, hidden yourself right before he was called away.

He exited his room, having just changed into his nightclothes, not like he was going to get much sleep, and froze as he poured himself a glass of wine. Curled up on the couch was his little darling. He smiled as he saw you had taken his cloak, tucking yourself in and making herself comfortable in the space and he loved seeing that you had sought this place out for comfort, disappointed he had stepped away for a moment to change instead of being able to greet you.

He sipped his wine, watching you sleep for a second before crossing over, bending down where you were sleeping and stroking your face. He watched the way your eyes opened, taking him in with that pretty face shocked. But he kept stroking your face as you stared at him, not sure what to say.

“Do you want to come to bed with me, my little darling? It’s much more comfortable than the couch.” Your eyes widened at his proposal and you looked down, suddenly very embarrassed that you had come here.

If you went to bed with him you’d be no better than a concubine at best. The way people would view you would be different. It wouldn’t be what you wanted. But if you turned down the general it could damage your standing with the grisha. He was lifting your head, tilting your chin up to look at him as his face was serious now.

“You’re overthinking.” his fingers were so soft as he touched your face, His eyes looking down at your lips as his fingers slid over them, his tongue wetting his own in memory of what it was like to kiss you. “I just want you in bed to chase away nightmares. Yours and mine. To sleep, my little darling, unless you want something else?” he was teasing you, trying to lighten the mood but you were sitting up, his cloak calling off you as well as his hands as you stood up,

The nerves in your stomach hurt as you paced the room, tugging at your fingers as you chewed your lip, not sure of what to do but knowing you were acting like an idiot and at the realization you stopped, looking at him as he watched you, amused at how in your head you were getting and waiting for you to over share, like you had been doing.

“I don’t want to be your whore.” his mouth opened at that, rising as he walked over to you, his hands on each side of your arms as he rubbed down the material of your robe until he had your wrists in his hand. He was so smooth with how he moved, his larger hands sliding until they weaved between yours and bringing them up to his lips, kissing them as he looked down and over them into your eyes.

“My sweet little darling. I would never ask that of you. I want you as my partner.” you were quiet at his words and he loved seeing the way you looked caught off guard, “Wasn’t it you asking to kiss me the other day? And now I can’t even get you to lay in my bed to help you chase away your nightmares?” he stroked your face as you finally took a breath.

“You really want me?” His heart strings were pulled. Too many people had overlooked you, didn’t see what he saw in you. How special you were. But he would never let that happen again. He wouldn’t let a day go by without making you feel all the love he had for you.

“Yes, very much so.” he was smirking at you, waiting for you as you trembled and he knew that you would say yes to him now.

“Aleksander, I’m ready for bed now.” He smiled as he kissed your knuckles, pulling you to the bedroom. He’d take his time with you. Let you sleep tonight and in the morning. He smiled to himself, in the morning you both would be well rested and ready to take it slow.

#The Darkling #Shadow and Bone #General Kirigan #General kirigan fanfic #general kirigan fan fic #the darkling fanfic #the darkling fan fic #the darkling fan fiction #Shadow and Bone fanfic #Shadow and Bone fan fiction

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snezfics-n-shit · 8 months

Text

Sicktember (Belated) Day 21: "But if you stay, you'll get sick too"

Fandom: Ace Attorney Characters: Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright, Trucy Wright, Pess Notes: A little late, and day 22 is still in the works, but I like to stick to my word so here's Day 21 at last. It’s been about a year since Phoenix and his daughter moved into Miles’s home; said year being filled with all sorts of changes and adjustments to everyone’s lifestyle. Today is the day it truly dawns on Miles just how much things have changed. Also, Pess gets to be a pretty pretty princess, even though she’s always been one. Set early in 7yg, so enjoy the mental image of scruffy Nick because awooga. Established Wrightworth. If you like the things I write, I always appreciate reblogs and comments; they really make my day!

Miles Edgeworth was unpresentable. Dark bags made their home under his eyes and his nose ran like it was trying out for the track team. It was obvious to anyone who might have the opportunity to catch a glimpse of him that he was in no shape to be anywhere that wasn’t a warm bed. Had it been over a year ago, he wouldn’t dare let a human soul see him in this state, save for Franziska, but even her visits when he was ill were typically against his wishes. If Miles had his way, he would gladly lock down his house and only have his dog keeping him company until he fully recovered.

Now? Having his boyfriend and said boyfriend’s newly adopted daughter made hiding away from human view not just impossible, but not nearly as desirable either. As Phoenix would leave a fresh, damp cloth on his forehead or return from the store with a restock of cold medicine, Miles couldn’t help but be grateful to have a man so attentive cohabitating with him.

“How are you feeling, babe?” Phoenix asked, just as he had asked the day before when Miles had finally conceded he was feeling unwell. “It sure sounded like you slept well last night; I heard a lot more snoring than coughing.”

“Better than the night before, yes.” Miles confirmed, his voice rough in a way that Phoenix always considered to be incredibly attractive. “It probably helped that I could breathe through my nose when I went to bed, too.”

“I’m sure of that.” Phoenix smiled. “I hope you don’t mind, but I applied some more vapor rub just before you woke up.”

That explained the strong, yet soothing scent of menthol Miles awoke to.

“I don’t mind at all, love.” Miles gently grabbed Phoenix’s nearest hand to give his knuckles a kiss.

He loved this man so much. Even at such a low point of his life, Phoenix was so attentive, so kind, so–

“Daddy!” Trucy called out just before opening the master bedroom door. Luckily, there was nothing going on to truly warrant a lecture on knocking first.

Miles then realized another thing Phoenix was: responsible for a young daughter.

“Sweetheart,” Miles tugged his boyfriend’s sleeve to get his attention, “perhaps you and Trucy should pay a visit to your parents.”

Phoenix pulled himself back, unsure where that suggestion came from.

“We’re gonna visit grandma and grandpa?” Trucy tilted her head. “Does that mean I have to undress Pess?”

Undress?

As if on cue, the friendly Samoyed entered the room, donning a pink, sparkly tiara on her head between her ears and an oversized chunky plastic necklace that dangled around, showing it was thankfully not tight at all.

A laugh slowly built up in Miles before its full release. He couldn’t recall laughing so hard in years, and it was rather unfortunate that this wasn’t able to last long with that pesky cough interrupting such a joyful moment. Whatever medicine laughter was supposed to be, it definitely wasn’t a cough suppressant.

“Ah, you probably could use some peace and quiet, huh?” Phoenix guessed. “No disturbances like, well,” he gestured to the dressed-up pup, “like that.”

“No, it’s not that at all.” Miles took another moment to really take in the presence of the newly crowned princess Pess. “It’s just that if you stay, you’ll get sick too.”

“When did that become a problem?”

“When it finally dawned on me that you have a daughter to care for.” Miles answered calmly. “We can’t afford to both be out of commission anymore.”

“I suppose you’re right about that.” Phoenix sighed and gave Miles a quick kiss on the forehead before getting up from the bed. “You know you can call me anytime if you need anything. You have both my cell number and my parents’ home number, right?” He waited for Miles to nod, then turned his attention over to Trucy. “Alright, Trucy. It’s time to wrap up playing dress-up with Pess and get ready to go to grandma and grandpa’s.”

“Okay!” Trucy gently freed Pess from the sparkly accessories, though Pess’s easygoing nature made the use of the word ‘freed’ debatable. She pivoted on one foot to happily wave goodbye to Miles. “Feel better soon, Papa!”

Papa.

#snez attorney #my writing #my fics #sicktember 2023 #sicktember

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ruleofvee · 5 months

Text

Title: i am on fire, a crying, burning liar (seeing nothing, nothing but myself, and i'm the one with the lighter)

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Part: 1/7

Tags/Warnings: Blood and Violence, Suicidal Tendencies, Diluc-centric, Diluc and Kaeya Reconciliation (eventually), Fatui Harbinger Diluc (but in the double crossing kind of way)

Summary:

Diluc Ragnvindr entered Snezhnaya with a Delusion clipped to his glove and blood between his teeth, with rage burning him from the inside out and obsession dancing in his gaze. He does not leave Snezhnaya alive. At least, not in the same form. He is chewed up and spat out again, molding into something greater. Something more dangerous. Diluc Ragnvindr dies in Snezhnaya to the sounds of his own screams. Brighella, the twelfth of the twelve Fatui Harbingers, is reborn from the ashes of his cries.

[Also on AO3]

~=~

Diluc Ragnvindr enters Snezhnaya with a Delusion clipped to his glove and blood between his teeth, with rage burning him from the inside out and obsession dancing in his gaze.

From Mondstadt, with love. He signs his own death warrant with reckless abandon, stamps and seals it with the blood of Fatui underlings. Burning, burning, tearing them apart with the same chains that bind him, staining the monochrome snow with blood and viscera. Anything to make the screaming in his mind stop, anything to try and fill the gaping hole in his heart. He drowns himself in blood and pretends that he never needed to breathe.

(Somehow, it never ever feels better)

Revenge is too noble a word. Revenge implies some form of purpose. Some goal to accomplish. Some relief after the deed is done, some closing of a terrible, tainted chapter. Closure.

There can be no closure for someone like him, a man who killed his father and nearly killed his brother. Monsters like him can only find comfort in death - be it their own, or that of others. Diluc intends to seek out both.

One could call it madness. Diluc prefers to call it self-condemnation. Sins mounting on his back, one by one, suffocating him. Hands stained red that will never be clean again. He is a slate of agony and rage that can never be wiped clean, and so must be destroyed to remove its influence from this world.

Perhaps that is why killing is so easy - because his own life is already forfeit.

The frost burns through his skin and the blood soaks his fingers. The wind scrapes him raw and his footsteps are paved with red. He is dying, dying - the last flickers of life spent on dragging as many down with him as possible.

Delusion Thief, they call him. It’s not the worst thing he’s ever stolen.

~=~

The end comes in the form of a letter.

They are coming for you, it says. His informant’s handwriting is more shaky than usual. They are coming for you. As soon as you receive this message, leave everything behind. Run as fast and far as you can. They are coming for you, and they will not rest until you are dead.

The snowstorms have been particularly harsh, these past few days. The messenger falcons haven’t been able to safely land until the skies cleared this morning. His gaze flicks to the date - three days ago. Three days ago, they began to search for him.

It’s more than long enough.

There is a crash from downstairs, the sound of a door breaking in, that breaks his concentration. Diluc tosses the letter into the fireplace and tugs at the Delusion’s power, already knowing that it is the end.

(Part of him is relieved)

~=~

Except it isn’t the end. Not by far. That would be too merciful. They keep him alive, for some reason, instead of putting him down, and they drag him into the center of Snezhnaya, into the Tsaritsa’s Court, it’s cold, it’s so cold -

A Delusion, a dispassionate, regal voice says. And he’s experienced at using it. He nearly cut Columbina’s arm off. Not many can claim that honor.

My Lady -

Silence. A hand, under his chin, raising his head from where he was staring at the floor. He looks into the Tsaritsa’s eyes, and does his best to convey every ounce of hatred he has in that glare alone.

And the Tsaritsa laughs.

Very good, she says. He has that fire. That obsession. I think, with some training, with a heavy hand to guide him, he will be more than suitable.

Her eyes flicker with wicked irony. What do you think of the name Brighella?

~=~

The candle that burns twice as bright lasts half as long.

Diluc’s first mistake is giving in to rage. Trying to attack the Harbingers, to doom himself if not them, I will never turn against Mondstadt, he screams, never, never -

They evade his swinging fists, take his Delusion away - stop, it’s all I have left of my father - subdue him, hurt him, laugh at him -

He thought his rage could last forever. Burning, consuming, a bright star that would never go out. Oh, how wrong he was.

It turns out, pain is the easiest way to cull anger, so long as it is consistent.

They are careful, of course. Breaking him would render him useless. He needs that obsession, that drive - it just needs to be bent to their own ends. Bent, but not broken, just warped out of shape until he is just as rotten as they are -

He hates that it works. It shouldn’t. He was supposed to die, first.

(The rage dims to a quiet ember - ready to burst into flame the moment it has fuel again. He clings to it with the fervor of a doomed man, even though he knows redemption will never be an option)

~=~

Diluc’s second mistake is refusing to die.

It is natural, that animal desire to remain living no matter the cost - and yet ‘natural’ and ‘good’ are such wildly different things. Good people, truly good people, not creatures of muck and ruin like him, are supposed to suppress their natural desires for the sake of doing the right thing. Are not meant to give in to temptation.

If he had the courage, he would have died before now. It would have been the right thing. Better to die here than to allow the Fatui to use him as a well-trained puppet -

( - it's not as if he has anything to come back to -)

He doesn't want to die. Not here, not like this. He wants to die on his own terms, laughing in his captors’ faces, going out with a mocking word and blood between his teeth, feral and vengeful.

He doesn't want to die like this, and so he cannot die. Not yet.

Not yet - curse his poor heart, for being so weak, so pitiful.

~=~

Diluc’s last mistake is in clinging to hope.

Somehow, one way or another, it never manages to die. Somehow, no matter how they hurt him, no matter how he screams, it flutters inside his ribcage like a trapped bird, screaming, endless - save me, save me, father, save me, Kaeya -

He stomps on it, again and again, like a weed he's trying to kill. It always grows back, weaker, but there all the same, dim, but present.

( Save me, save me, save me )

They rip his humanity away with careful, surgical slices. They bare him open for them to witness and to consume. They devour him from the inside out and spit him out again, bleeding and ruined but theirs.

Diluc Ragnvindr dies, but his hope never manages to.

~=~

Diluc Ragnvindr entered Snezhnaya with a Delusion clipped to his glove and blood between his teeth, with rage burning him from the inside out and obsession dancing in his gaze.

He does not leave Snezhnaya alive. At least, not in the same form. He is chewed up and spat out again, molding into something greater. Something more dangerous.

Diluc Ragnvindr dies in Snezhnaya to the sounds of his own screams.

Brighella, the twelfth of the twelve Fatui Harbingers, is reborn from the ashes of his cries.

#fanfiction #genshin impact #genshin fic #diluc angst #diluc ragnvindr #fatui harbingers #genshin diluc

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unknownfacelessfanfictions · 2 years

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Chez toi, c'est là où tu es

Fandom: Star Trek: The Next Generation Pairing: Captain Jean-Luc Picard x Reader Words: 3.1K Requested: Yes Summary: Being in a relationship is as complicated as being the captain of a spaceship. Good luck to those who have to manage both at the same time. A/N: I alredy posted it, but due to problems with tumblr I had to delete my account. But I'm back and posted it again.

Not my Gif!!

Jean-Luc had always known that being a captain would not be easy. Even when he had left Starfleet Academy, he had been aware that being a captain would mean having a job where you had to work permanently, that your private life would have to suffer because of your job.

He had never had a problem with it before either. He had spent most of his time on the bridge. After all, he was responsible for hundreds of people who lived on the Enterprise and trusted him to bring them safely to their destination. He had also always combined his free time with work. Jean-Luc had read reports, written logs and assisted the one or other bridge member.

Now, however... he saw things a little differently. Not that he would neglect his duties, no, that would truly be the last thing on his mind.

He still spent more time than was good with his work. He still spent a lot of time on the bridge or in his Ready Room, keeping the ship safe, reading reports and writing logs, even in his spare time. However, something had changed: You had entered his life. Ever since he had entered the service as captain, Jean-Luc had always been sure never to have a relationship. He had no time for that. Being a captain was a full-time job. As the years passed, he had become more and more sure of this and resigned himself to the fact. Of course he had had his little "romances" too, Vash had been just one, but never had it been anything real, anything permanent. Each time he had known that the person he loved would leave and leave him behind, alone in his captain's chair. Alone on a ship, surrounded by hundreds of people.

You had proven him wrong, shown him that what he had felt before was but a drop of love compared to the tsunami of feelings you evoked in him. It hadn't been love at first sight. It had been a slow, creeping process in which the two of you had grown ever so slightly closer.

Jean-Luc had been fascinated by you. Normally, a strange silence fell as soon as he entered the room. He was the captain, in theory the superior of everyone on this ship. And hardly anyone liked to spend time with their boss voluntarily.

But you treated him with the same amount of cheerfulness and kindness as you did everyone else. Of course you still respected him, but you made him feel that he was perfectly normal. That he was not the captain or a superior, but a normal human being who had just as much right to live his life as anyone else.

And slowly, ever so slowly, you let his heart, which had long ago been frozen in a cry for affection, thaw, heal and blossom. If he had to describe the moment when he fell completely for you, he had to think back to the moment a few months ago. You had a dinner date in his quarters. Just a nice dinner to end the day and maybe talk about one of Shakespeare's works. Jean-Luc had been horrified to discover early on that you had only read "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and had immediately set about changing that. Accordingly, every few weeks you had a discussion about the latest story he had lent you.

But when he had seen you sitting in front of him that evening, eyes shining and hands swinging around, waving them back and forth with excitement, something had stirred inside him. Something that has grown steadily every day since. While at first he was only in a light spray of affection, he was now caught in the eye of the hurricane of his feelings for you. With no chance of escape. Not that he wanted to.

After all, you were his safe haven. Every time he threatened to collapse under the burden of being a captain, or when he was plagued by memories of his assimilation, you were immediately there. You listened to him, with those wonderful kind eyes, reassured him, were there for him and just made him feel loved. Every morning, when his duty called him out of bed, he didn't want to get up, something he had never felt before. In the past, he would have been up in an instant to do his job. Now, however, he would prefer to lie still, pull your sleeping form closer to him and hope it could stay that way. Every day, while he was on the bridge, his thoughts drifted back to you in every free, quiet moment, to your beautiful smile, your loving heart and your laugh, which was more beautiful than any melody that Data could play so perfectly. And every evening, he longed to return to you, to fall into your arms after a stressful and exhausting day, just to breathe in your scent, to feel your atmosphere, to feel like he was home. Especially after days that robbed him of all his strength. Days like this.

It had been a horrible mess. Even the night had been a veritable nightmare. Memories of his time with the Borg had plagued him and he had found no sleep after waking up. For some time he had looked at you in your sleep. Your features were relaxed and a hint of a smile graced your lips, so Jean-Luc couldn't bring himself to wake you.

Without further ado, he had gotten up and relieved Data of the night shift, not, of course, without the android bombarding him with questions about whether he had slept well or whether he should inform Doctor Crusher. After Jean-Luc had assured him that everything was fine and Data had taken his seat, the chaos had run its course.

Another conflict with the Romulans, the transporters were defective and afterwards, when Jean-Luc just wanted to retire to his office, an unwelcome surprise awaited him. He let out a sigh. "Q"

The god-like being had sprawled on the sofa across from Jean-Luc's desk, his boots placed on the expensive leather. He wore his usual red uniform with the four pins. The man smiled at him with mischievousness in his eyes. "Mon capitaine, how wonderful to see you." Resigned, Jean-Luc dropped into his chair. "What do you want, Q?" Q pursed his lips reprovingly and more mischief entered his eyes. "Now, now, Jean-Luc. Can't I just come and see you because I want to visit an old friend?" Jean-Luc rubbed his face. "Is this another test?" Q sat up. "Au contraire. Believe it or not. My intentions are pure through and through. This time."

Exhausted, Jean-Luc looked up. "And what are these 'pure intentions'" Q clicked his tongue. "Don't sound so snide, Jean-Luc. I'm doing you a favour. It may have escaped your notice in all this commotion, mon ami, but you had something else planned today didn't you?" Jean-Luc frowned. "What are you talking about, Q?" The creature sighed heavily. "Really, I'm not your temp calendar after all, Jean-Luc. How glad I am that I had chosen Kathy and not you bore. But I'm in a good mood today, so consider yourself lucky." He leaned forward conspiratorially and grinned wryly. " As far as I know, you did have a nice little date planned, with our dearest Y/N. Oh how disappointed ton amour must be, Jean-Luc."

His eyes widened as he realised what Q was talking about. He had promised to devote tonight entirely to you, a romantic dinner, Shakespeare, dancing, full programme. His eyes flew to the clock. 2300 hours. Abruptly he stood up. Q laughed. "The penny has dropped. I would hurry, mon capitaine." Jean-Luc stared at him. "You could have shown up earlier."

Q's self-satisfied smile vanished and he snorted snidely. "Such gratitude. Sometimes I wonder why I continue to put up with you." He raised his hand, however, pausing before snapping. Q winked at the captain. "Until next time, Jean-Luc." Then he flicked and disappeared in a flash of light.

Jean-Luc, however, didn't have time to worry about it, because he almost stormed out of his office to the turbolift and threw Data one last " You have the bridge, Mr. Data." before the turbolift doors closed.

Jean-Luc had never felt that the turbolifts were too slow. Now, however, he was almost silently begging them to go a little faster. Of course, he knew that wouldn't change much. He had missed your evening. As hard as it was for him to admit, Q had been right, you would be terribly disappointed.

As soon as the doors opened wide enough to let him through, Jean-Luc squeezed through the gap that had opened up, only to hurry with knitted, long strides down the corridor to your quarters. When he arrived at your door, he stopped short and braced himself. Braced himself for the fact that you were going to be mad at him and he might actually have to sleep on the sofa in his office.

With a single, large step he entered your quarters, making every effort to make his voice sound steady. "Mon amour? " His voice was slightly lowered, in case you were already asleep. But this was not the case. "Jean-Luc!" With a broad smile, you stepped out of the adjoining bathroom. You were already wearing your sleeping clothes, but you did not appear to have gone to sleep.

You spread your arms as you stepped towards him and took him in your arms for a moment. "I was wondering when you'd be back."

You loosened your hold a little and Jean-Luc started to say something, but you only took this as an opportunity to press your lips to his. Very tenderly and lovingly, as you wrapped your arms around his neck, he put his hands on your back and pulled you closer to him. When you disengaged, you remained in that position and he looked regretfully into your eyes. "I am sorry, mon amour. I promised this would be our night, but-"

Smiling, you put a finger to his mouth, silencing him. "You don't need to apologise. I was aware that you had an important position and therefore might not always have time for me. That's why I want to enjoy the moments we have together. Without having to listen to excuses for things you can't do anything about, yes?" Jean-Luc nodded speechlessly.

"Good." Joyfully, you kissed him again before detaching yourself from him completely. "Would you like some more food?" He shook his head and you nodded in understanding. "Then get changed. Just because you're late doesn't mean I'll be alone in bed." With that you turned and sauntered over to your bedroom.

Completely dumbfounded, Jean-Luc turned and disappeared into the bathroom where he leaned against the wall wondering what he had done to deserve you. What you had just done to him was not natural under any circumstances.

Normally, your partner would get angry if you spent more time at work than with your partner with hardly any time together. You, however, looked at everything from a different angle. You were aware that he HAD to put his duties before you. He had little choice. And instead of blaming him or getting angry, you appreciated the moments you had together. Jean-Luc didn't know what he had done to deserve you.

After hurriedly getting ready, he made his way to your bedroom. In the doorway, however, he stopped and took the time to absorb the moment that presented itself. You were already sitting up in bed, the covers pulled down to your stomach and a book in your hand, presumably reading the latest work of Shakespeare that Jean-Luc had "lent" you. He had already told you that you had free access to his books, but you still asked every time.

Slowly he walked towards your bed and settled down on his side. The weight of it pushing the bed down made you look up and immediately the loving smile you always looked at him with returned. "Hello, darling." Gently you put the book down on the bedside table to give your full attention to your friend. He smiled sheepishly. "You didn't have to put the book away for me." He took your hand in his and gently kissed your knuckles. "You know I don't mind if you spend your evening with it, mon amour."

You placed your hand on his cheek and let your thumb gently stroke his cheekbone. "And you know, Jean-Luc, that I prefer to spend my time with you in other ways. I have plenty of time to read when you're working."

Guilt shot through him and he tenderly kissed the inside of your hand still against his cheek. "I don't deserve you, Y/N. You are so kind and understanding towards me and love me despite the fact that I have so little time for you. Why?"

You laughed lightly and kissed the Captain affectionately. "Oh Jean-Luc. You don't have to do anything to deserve me. You don't see how much you are worth, but I will show you, every day, as many times as I can, until you realise it. Besides," another kiss," you are very attractive, my dear."

He laughed incredulously and regarded you tenderly, his eyes a mirror of what a tsunami of feelings and affection was raging inside him for you. "Je t'aime, mon amour," he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours, eliciting another small laugh from you. "I love you too, you stubborn old man. Now come here, I'm cold and I haven't seen you all day to show you how much I love you." Only too gladly, he accepted your invitation and wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him, pulling you into a lying position. "Computer, dim lights to fifteen percent."

Instantly the lights faded and your bedroom was plunged into darkness. A comfortable sigh escaped you and you snuggled closer, against Jean-Luc. He had wrapped his arm around you to keep you close while you rested your head on his chest.

Gently he kissed your forehead, then your temple, then your cheekbone. He kissed his way down to your mouth, where his lips gently brushed yours, but didn't pull you into a full-on kiss. "I'll make it up to you anyway," he whispered, closing the small space that had still been between your lips. Silently you sighed into the kiss, pulling him in almost desperately. All the longing you had built up over the day flowed into that kiss and you gently moved up his chest and shoulders to the nape of his neck where you gently played with his hairline.

When you broke away, he pulled you even closer to him and looked down at me lovingly. "You don't need that," you murmured softly, but Jean-Luc only whispered softly. "My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep. The more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite," he recited and pressed another kiss to your temple. You murmured lightly, "Romeo and Juliet, isn't it? What a romantic you are, darling." A smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. "Though your bounty may not be quite so great."

Jean-Luc laughed softly and lovingly stroked your cheek. "A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee" He tenderly placed a kiss on your forehead and you closed your eyes with pleasure. Jean-Luc started to say something again, but now it was your turn to repeat the words you had read and internalised in your last Shakespeare work.

"Love is a smoke rais'd with the fume of sighs; Being purg'd, a fire sparkling in a lover's eyes; Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears: What is it else? a madness most discreet, A choking gall and a preserving sweet," smiling lovingly, you looked up at him and let your fingertips dance across his cheek.

"Perhaps we shouldn't necessarily quote Romeo and Juliet, my love, should we?" Jean-Luc looked down at you, a twinkle in his eye. "You're right. For not even they would be able to do justice to my love for you." Again he pulled you closer and kissed you, this time more demanding and passionate. And you were now more than willing to match him.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed you close to him. His warmth filtered through your clothes to you and his scent rose to your nose, a scent you had long associated with home by now. Gasping slightly, you broke away from each other without feeling the need to let go of the other.

"Risa," Jean-Luc murmured softly, getting your attention. "What?" He blinked slightly before looking down at you lovingly. "How about shore leave, mon amour? You and I haven't had a day, just for us, until now. Two weeks on Risa, we're close right now." He stroked your cheek affectionately. "Besides, Deanna and Doctor Crusher have been nagging me for weeks that I needed a break." It didn't take you long to make a decision and lovingly you kissed his cheek. "And we wouldn't want to contradict the doctor, would we?" Jean-Luc pulled you even closer to him so that there was absolutely no space between you. "Never."

A yawn escaped you and he laughed softly before placing an affectionate kiss on your forehead. "Maybe we should discuss the details tomorrow. And I really will be back early this time." Sighing, sleepy from tiredness, you buried your face in the crook of his neck. "And if you don't, I won't be mad at you either. I love you." Jean-Luc felt you slowly drifting off to sleep and loosened his grip around you only minimally so that you could lie more comfortably. Gently he kissed your forehead again.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date; Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm'd; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st; Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st: So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1) My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep. The more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite. ~ Romeo and Juliet, Act 2, scene 2, lines 140 – 142

2) A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee ~ All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 4, scene 2, line 78

3)Love is a smoke rais'd with the fume of sighs; Being purg'd, a fire sparkling in a lover's eyes; Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears: What is it else? a madness most discreet, A choking gall and a preserving sweet ~Romeo and Juliet, Act 1, scene 1, lines 197 – 201

#captain picard #star trek #star trek next generation #star trek tng #jean-luc picard x reader #captain picard x reader #picard x reader #my works

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starlit-dreaming · 2 years

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[20] in the back of my mind

Fandom: WMMAP Rating: G Ship: Eventual Lucathy, Felily, Calena, and more Note: the Twin Sibling AU that i tried so hard not to write, but i DID, so naturally i have to call myself out for writing it. will be cross-posted on ao3 and wattpad under the same title

A/N: I made a mistake in earlier chapters regarding the ages. To fix this, I'm making the clarification that Ferdinand is 8 y/o while Charlotte's 9-10 y/o. I'll make the proper edits when I'm able to.

This chapter's a bonus of being almost 4k words as opposed to my usual 3k. I highly recommend reading this fic on ao3 instead of on Tumblr (under the same title and username) because the formatting's always a pain to deal with and doesn't accurately reflect how I want the story to be read.

Also, I'm thinking of making character profiles for everyone. I'll be posting them on my Tumblr, and there will be a spoiler and spoiler-free version of the profiles (information including sexuality, names of love interests, backstory on their history in "Toska", and whether or not they will end up in a romantic relationship with Athanase at one point (as in, actually having a courtship, but no mentions of being his endgame))

The spoiler-free version will simply say if the character has appeared yet, which chapter they show up in or will be expected to appear in (which isn’t very accurate as it varies on how the story progresses during the writing process), and basic information like their full name and age.

Granted, this will take a long time for me to even get started on, even if I don’t draw the characters (I’m thinking of maybe commissioning someone if I get too lazy to draw).

——————————

Arc 1: Beginning of the End 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

Arc 2: Of Princes and Villainesses 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | [20] | 21 | 22

Side Story: maybe, i’m afraid (verena/athanasios) 1 | 2

Summary:

He was pretty sure he transmigrated into a fanfic of [The Lovely Princess] — after all, he would’ve remembered if Princess Athanasia had a younger twin who died.

// A retelling of WMMAP with a vital difference — Athanasia has a younger twin brother.

——————————

20. no one believes in me except for you

——————————

Of all the people that had to be standing in on a personal conversation between Athan and Ver—Autumn, it just had to be Felix. If it was anyone else, Athan was confident that they'd be able to sell it as an inside joke with Autumn that helps him calm down from his overactive imagination, that it was just childish nonsense.

But Felix took part in being his caretaker for the past two years, and for him to be reliant on Autumn would be pretty suspicious. Autumn only entered his life a few months ago, and that wouldn't have been enough time for her to know how to help him in such a panicked state.

Granted, they could explain that it was a side effect from her saving him, but that sounds like a bad case of dependence.

If Athan didn't do anything, Felix might even suspect Autumn of manipulating him.

After all, it was suspicious that a little girl was capable of saving him from suffering the same way as his sister despite the fact that he was far away from the castle with his whereabouts unknown for hours. Even if Lucas was the one who did it, Autumn was considered his saviour.

He glances over to Autumn, who remains seated in a chair at his bedside. She was adamant in keeping her gaze down, and he knew better than anyone that her mind was racing with possible ideas.

A quick glance around the room was more than enough to know that it was only the three of them in the room and no one else. This place was vaguely familiar, and yet he knows that he's never seen this room before—

Wait, this room...

(It was very... bright, he thought with an inward grimace, gaze drawn to the windows that stretched from the ceiling to the floor, with its pink curtains drawn back with careless regard. Everything was very colourful, when he glances out the window and catches sight of the swaying field of flowers and the fluttering grass.)

He remembered parts of his dream with startling clarity, recalling the figure of a young maiden hidden by the white gauze curtains with blurred determination. The windows reached from nearly the top to bottom like his dream, but the curtains were a pale orange like the colour of a zinnia flower — a delicate flow and a gentle sight. It wasn't pink like his dream, and he didn't see any gaudy and overbearing sight of flowers...

("Truly, your [brother] indeed cares about your wellbeing, but there is a limit to his naïvety and wilful ignorance," he dryly comments, taking slow strides over to the armchair at the girl's bedside.

It was cold, as if no one had dared to sit and keep the bedridden lady company.)

And yet he was absolutely certain that this was the same room. A gaudy armchair was in the room, at the bedside and currently used by Autumn.

This was a room that was meant to be long forgotten.

...but for whom?

("For the day I [part] from this world, you will never truly forget me — you cannot, nor will I ever let you—")

"Where are we?"

The question brings a strange sort of dawning realization that he can't quite place, as if it were a word on the tip of his tongue. It was an inkling of who the maiden was — a young noble he must've met at the garden party his father hosted.

A lot of ladies approached his older sister while the opposite was true for himself, but only a small handful of girls had spoken to him directly from what he could remember. He couldn't think of anyone else.

They were also the only notable girls that the Original Athanasios interacted with.

Autumn, Charlotte "Lottie" Milford, and Irene "Iris" Nightingale.

So that was the question, really.

Between the three, who was the girl in his most recent memory?

Maybe it was because he noticed his impatience, Felix had answered promptly, "We arrived at Marquess Milford's Estate."

Really? It couldn't be that easy, could it? Charlotte was the girl he promised his love to? Well, it didn't seem too farfetched, did it? With Verena and Charlotte being against one another, it must've been an easy decision to be made once the Original Verena started showing her true colours. Charlotte had been the only girl who was willing to outright oppose her. Maybe the OG prince fell in love with Lottie's fierce personality?

It was very... strange how the memory of someone he once knew affected him like this.

(But then... what about Ijekiel?)

Felix was frowning, with his eyes slightly narrowed at Autumn just in a mere glance as he calmly and respectfully spoke to Athanase. "It was the closest place for Your Highness to rest after collapsing."

Ah, right...

It'd be nice if Felix would just accept that Autumn wasn't up to anything suspicious, but that would probably be a bit much, wouldn't it?

With how he kept shifting hesitant yet wary glances at Autumn, he definitely wasn't going to drop it...

And to make it worse, Athan collapsed.

. . .

Why the fuck did he even collapse in the first place?

"It's a relief that Your Highness, the Crown Prince, has woken up," Autumn stated in a gentle tone of voice, closing her eyes as she tilted her head low in a small bow as a sign of respect. 'You probably remembered something, but I really didn't think that this whole temporary amnesia trope would be this dramatic,' if she was frustrated by the inconvenience, she didn't let it show as she remained still with closed eyes. 'If anyone was supposed to get smacked dab with a temp amnesia trope, it would've been Ferdie for the divergence of surviving the Hunting Comp...'

'Well damn, thanks for the easy explanation, author,' he blinked, jewelled blue eyes staring at Felix. 'Autumn?'

'Yeah?'

'How much trust would you place in Felix?'

'Unless I became a supporter of former Emperor Anastasius, I trust him with my life. A full twelve on a scale of ten on being both trustworthy and hot. Trust-hottie, if you will. Duke Robain is a DILF, so naturally his son is also S-rank. I haven't worked out my tier lists for S, double S, and triple S-rank, but I'd say the Duke's a triple while His Majesty is a solo 'cause child neglect ain't sexy, and Sir Felix being a double S because he stepped up to the plate of being a caretaker when he didn't have to.'

And it was then that Athan deeply regretted his decision in asking Autumn for her opinion. It didn't matter that her confirming Felix's trustworthiness — among other things — was the solution to solving a landslide of their problems.

Like, really. How difficult is it for Autumn to stop bringing up DILFs when he never even asked about it to begin with?

'Why do you ask?' Autumn finally looked at him, a frown on her lips as she stared at him.

What aren't you telling me? That was the question written on Autumn's face as sharp blue eyes looked at him.

His hands trembled, clutching the bedsheets. He thought of the young maiden — er, well, Charlotte, he supposes — and how she sat still as though she were a corpse. It didn't help that her hands were cold, and she had pale skin, but he couldn't shake that image away from his mind. The feeling of her knuckles, her fingers, and the warmth she sapped from him still remained.

That was real, he knows this without a shred of doubt. While he knows nothing of what happened to lead up to that interaction, nor does he know the aftermath, but it was very clear what had happened.

She was dying from an incurable illness, and he could only sit by her side, keeping her company until the day she died.

He wasn't sure how he was going to save Charlotte.

'I'm gonna tell him.'

Autumn never mentioned anything about Charlotte dying, either. Maybe he was wrong about the maiden being Charlotte? What if the dying maiden was an adopted daughter — maybe even an illegitimate daughter? Wait, that was crazy talk. Was he actually accusing Marquess Milford of infidelity when he loathed his birth father for the same reason?

Still, even though he was pretty damn confident that it might've been Charlotte at this point, there just wasn't any guarantee.

So... maybe Felix would be able to help give him a little more room to work with.

'Hold the fuck up — you're gonna tell him that I think he's a trust-hottie?!'

Athan ignored his friend's moment ruining panicked thoughts and looked at Felix dead in the eyes:

"This isn't my first life."

Silence immediately followed after the statement was made. His heart pounds, his stomach churns — he feels... he feels nauseous, to say the least.

Everything felt... unpleasant.

("Well, maybe he should've kept his mouth shut," she grumbles.

He laughs, "You think so, too?"

. . .

He gets the impression that she smiles at him, and his cheeks burn and his heart flutters.

'Oh,' he thinks. 'Oh.')

Autumn was — well, she wasn't angry or horrified, but he heard absolutely nothing from her. She was frozen in place, dark pale — purple? No, it was definitely blue — eyes staring at him in stunned silence. Her lips paled, an indication that she was biting her bottom lip as her eyes anxiously flicker to Felix.

He could feel that the reveal to Felix had left her unsettled and upset.

(Or maybe it was him projecting onto her.)

Honestly, he understood her view of confiding in somebody else. There wasn't any reason for her to think that Felix would trust them. Hilise Inoaden from The Solitary Lady was a prime example of being considered a lunatic when she confided in her family regarding her time loops, and frankly that wasn't what he wanted as an end result. Unlike Hilise, Felix genuinely cared about him. On top of that, even though Athanase didn't necessarily want to die, but rather, he wanted to live comfortably and content.

In order for Felix to believe his words, he needed undeniable proof to show that he wasn't crazy.

And that proof was the existence of Jennette de Alger Obelia.

He opens his mouth, intent on saying her name, only to lose his voice as the image of the original Athanasia flashes through his mind, face red with tears staining a wretched face. It was an unsettling image, an older version of when Athy had cried when she woke up for a few minutes during her brush against death a few weeks back.

("I'm your daughter too, father.")

No, he couldn't. If he introduced Jennette, then wouldn't everything worsen? After all, that would only mean that he and his sister would be more likely to die early. Maybe Countess Rosalia would even try to frame him or his sister for poisoning Jennette before they're fifteen...

Everything was already changing, but Athan wasn't ready for that sort of problem in particular. Jennette entering their lives early would only alter the chain of events.

That would ruin everything and he knows it.

"I don't actually want to be at the Arlantan Hunting Competition. Frankly, it sounds like more trouble than it's worth to even go, even if I think learning how to wield a sword is pretty cool. You can dismiss it as a child's overactive imagination, or just me overthinking things, but I want to prevent a war between Arlanta and Obelia."

Felix stared at him with wide eyes. He was dumbfounded and speechless, which wasn't very surprising. How does anyone react when a little kid tells them that a war was going to happen?

'What are you doing?' He wasn't sure how, but Autumn managed to maintain a blank facial expression. 'He's never going to believe that.'

"Marquess Milford's true history, from living as a commoner to the actual reasons for the deaths of his sisters," he states. Felix jolts upon hearing that, his eyes snapping back to Athan. "The Countess Nightingale and the purpose of her family and the role they play for the imperial family despite providing nothing more than ambiance music. I even know the truth of why His Majesty's engagement to Lady Penelope Judith, the younger sister of Countess Rosalia Judith, was broken off."

Athan could tell that just from three sentences, Felix was unsettled by the fact that he knew more information about the things that no longer mattered to noble society or was the best kept secret within the imperial court. There was no way for Athan to know, and under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have known.

But, Athan had reread those 12 chapters Autumn had written for Toska countless times. Over and over again, to the point that he memorized the sequence of events and even remembered the names of side characters — including the ones mentioned only one time and the chapters they were brought up in.

He read the character sheets, the additional background, the side stories that had no direct involvement with the canon characters.

So Athan knew more than enough to convince him.

"Let's speak of Marquess Milford, as his story is less personal to the two of us. He grew up as a commoner until the deaths of his parents, in which his birth father had decided to lie and cover up the truth of his parentage in order to officially give him the Milford Family Name. He was never meant to inherit the noble title, as he had an older sister who was executed for angering the former tyrannical Emperor. It was an informal setting, given that he had killed her during a ball in the hallways. She had worn a dress and was unarmed, but if she fought back in any way, she would've been given a charge for treason and therefore get everyone in her family executed."

Nobody was supposed to know how the eldest of the Milfords had actually died. It was covered up as an assassination attempt against the former Emperor, and the former Milford Heiress had gotten caught in the crossfire...

Except, the youngest Milford had been a witness to the murder of her sister. She saw her sister die and was left traumatized.

(Like Ferdie, the youngest Milford, witnessing the death of Autumn's parents.

And just like his aunt, he lived to tell of it...

Not for long, of course.)

"So, the former Heiress was murdered, and the younger sister saw enough to be traumatized in the end, but she told her family before she died. It's the only reason why you and father trust Marquess Milford more than Countess Nightingale. You both ensured his loyalty by getting rid of the former Emperor."

Felix's mouth remained shut, his eyes trained on Athan with a sense of seriousness that he's never seen before in either lifetimes, and that included all the posts tagged with "Lovely Princess Felix" — not a single piece of fanart of a handsome and serious man.

Nevertheless, it was clear that Felix didn't know what to say, or perhaps he didn't know where to start.

Should he have started from the beginning? Or perhaps he should've given Felix some time to digest the information...

But if he didn't do things like this, then Felix would've dismissed it as a child repeating the things that he's heard before. After all, Marquess Milford's history could easily be found out by asking the right questions to the right people.

Would Countess Nightingale's history be enough to prove his words?

"How did Marquess Milford's younger sister die?"

That was the only thing Felix had asked for.

If he answered this wrong, Felix might assume that someone with a grudge against the Marquess had spilled all of this information.

But fortunately for him, he knew the answer.

"People say she killed herself," he tells him without missing a beat. "In actuality, she screamed the supposed "accusations" at one of the nobles' meetings, barging in there in place of her brother who had to leave for the Arlantan Hunting Competition as his family regularly attended as one of Obelia's Diplomats. She was thrown into a jail cell until the Marquess returned and was deemed to be mad from the grief of her sister's death. The family was pardoned, and she was found dead by hanging, but the Marquess believed that it was the former Emperor's scheme of painting his sister as crazy."

If anything, Felix didn't seem to be reassured by his answer.

"I believe you, Your Highness."

"You do?" Autumn blurts out, gasping out a squeak as she covers her mouth with her hand as if she had yet to say anything. "I beg your pardon, Sir Felix, but is it true?"

Felix nodded, frowning. "Everyone in noble society now thinks that Lady Lizbeth killed herself due to grief of Lady Ariella's death and was unable to bear with the knowledge that nobody believed her. While he isn't happy, Marquess Milford is happy that his younger sister is no longer considered a shame to the family name and that she's no longer seen as a madwoman. Seeing how close His Highness, Prince Athanasios, is with Marquess Milford, I'd imagine that it's possible they would have an honest conversation about such a thing years from now, given that it's still a sensitive topic for him."

Huh. That really was convenient. Well, it is a story that came to life, so it was only natural for the world to fill in the gaps.

Still, Felix believed that pretty easily...

Not that he's complaining.

"Father doesn't know, of course," he shifts, awkwardly adding to the conversation. "Autumn remembers too, and she would know more than me because she lived longer than me."

'Don't throw me under the bus!' she screeched in his mind. "You give me too much credit, Your Highness. I didn't live for nearly as long as you believe," Autumn shook her head, giving him a pointed stare. The switch between her mind and actuality were as jarring as ever. 'Verena died in the same year as Athanasios. Usually execution, other times suicide.'

"...Autumn?" Felix looked at Autumn curiously.

"Shit," he thought. 'Was that supposed to be a secret?'

"Well shit," Autumn sighed. 'I wanted to keep that a secret.'

Out of everything he's heard tonight, hearing two "children" swear had startled Felix the most.

——————————

Since he successfully convinced Felix, they were free to speak more openly around him. Of course, they had to wait until they returned to the castle since they would be staying at the estate for a few days until he regained his strength — Athan also didn't want a repeat of someone overhearing a conversation between him and Autumn, especially when he wasn't in his right mind...

Even though it would be better to share the information with Autumn, his dream was very personal.

("If this love is a curse, then I would gladly be scorned and burned in hell.")

Recalling his own words, he knew he had lived that very moment. He had felt anguish for his dying lover that it had brought him to physical tears when he awoke. He felt warmth in his heart, a fluttering warmth when she smiled just for him and him alone.

Athan knew a love between friends, a love so strong that they were family. He knew of a toxic love between two romantic partners — he's seen and read of it, he's lived through it even if he remembers nothing.

But he's never been in love, he was sure of it until now.

Love, he learns, is both a beautiful and ugly thing. It's painfully heart wrenching, it's rough around the edges, and it's filled with complications. But it's also delightful elation, it's easier to fall than expected, and it's... it's simple.

Athanase was in love with this girl at one point in his life, and now he's left with vague memories. It was as simple as that.

But why? Wasn't he curious? How did they fall in love? What made him fall to begin with?

("Would you leave me... if you saw the real me?"

. . .

"I don't know.")

He doesn't want to know.

(Oh, but he does.)

——————————

"Autumn was really surprised that you believed me," he admits into the quiet of the guest room, with Felix sitting in the armchair at his side. It was just the two of them this time. "She didn't think anyone else would — apart from her — and that's only because we both lived the same experience."

Felix stared at him for a moment, his gaze softening as his frown became more neutral. It wasn't quite a smile, but it could've been.

"You're not the type to lie for no reason, Your Highness," Felix stated. "And it does explain the close relationship Your Highness has with Lady Verena — Autumn. A lot of nobles believed that you are both infatuated with one another."

Athan immediately wrinkled his nose at the thought. "She's like a sister to me."

Felix hadn't responded to that right away, as if he were contemplating on whether or not he ought to say something.

"Pardon my asking, but when did Lady Autumn regain her... memories?"

"On the day of my collapse."

"I see..."

"We were both engaged and she wasn't a Saintess. Father didn't care about my sister and I, so he let us do as we pleased as long as we didn't bother him. From what I can remember, Lady Verena's love became a form of obsession which worsened our relationship. Now that we both... remember the past, that will no longer be an issue. She had a somewhat poor relationship with our peers in the past. It's why she wants to be called Autumn, and why she wants to show me that she's not the same person she used to be."

"Is that so?" Felix frowned. "That's... a bit concerning, Your Highness."

"I know, but Lady Verena is no longer the same person she once was," Athan stated. "After losing me, Autumn's trying to atone for the past."

It wasn't the most inaccurate lie he's ever said. Autumn was distraught and regretful after he died, and even now he could see traces of how desperate she wanted him to confide in her. Clearly, she thinks that it was her fault for not being there for him when he died, and so explains the reason why she's trying to make up for it.

"Does Her Highness, your sister, know about this?" Felix hesitated.

"Partially," he shook his head. "She knows about me, but not about Lady Verena."

"That certainly explains a bit. Perhaps you should talk to Crown Princess Athanasia? It seems that she doesn't wish to speak to Lady Autumn at all..."

"I can't force them to get along," he shook his head. "And she avoids me left and right for no good reason."

Felix is silent for a long moment, his face pale as if a horrid thought had come to mind.

"Please reconsider."

"What?" Athanase blinked, looking at Felix.

"Your Highness, please reconsider mending your relationship with Her Highness."

"Why are you suddenly insistent on this?" Athan blinked.

"I don't want history to repeat itself," Felix quietly stated. "Especially with Emperor Claude and Lady Diana's children."

'Oh,' he thinks. 'Oh.'

Felix didn't want a repeat of Anastasius and Claude.

Maybe that was the possible reason why Athanase died in Toska? He doesn't know how he died in his first life. Maybe Athanasia was the catalyst.

He had mixed feelings about that thought, in all honesty.

Maybe he'll talk to Autumn first...

#fic: in the back of my mind #wmmap #who made me a princess #wynter writes

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artzee-bee · 3 years

Text

Not going anywhere | Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Fandom: Lucifer

Request:” Hi i have request for you ,Lucifer and the reader have a big fight they are married, and this fight it's lucifer fault The reader leaves home and Lucifer decides to give her space After a few days, he goes to the reader and realizes that she has been missing for a few days,When the person behind all this claims that the reader is dead and gives them a her body . Everyone thinks that the reader is dead and Lucifer He gets depressed and thinks it's all his fault , and after a few days, the thieves release the singer and the reader goes to Lucifer.Lucifer first thinks it is an imagination and then apologizes to the reader Thank you so much”

Genre: Angst with happy ending

Warnings: kidnapping, death

~~~

Your intention had never been to start a fight. All you wanted an explanation (preferably one that also made sense) and an apology, but apparently that was too much to ask, because as soon as you voiced your opinion, Lucifer went up in flames

“Don’t start this again!”

“I dislike it just as much as you do but what I hate more is being cancelled on, AGAIN, through a text message no less!”

“It was an emergency!”

“It’s always an emergency Lucifer! It’s starting to sound a lot like work means more to you than I do!” “The detective needs me, damn it!” your husband yelled

“And she has you! Every day of every week! All I ask for is one date night and for the past month you’ve done nothing but avoid committing to one or backing out at the last second! I’m tired of being your second choice Lucifer! I’m your wife and you are my husband, I love you to the ends of the world, I just wish you'd say no to Decker from time to time...”

“I’m saving people’s lives Y/N. So if you’re not on your deathbed, other people are and they need me now!” as he said this, Lucifer walked right past you and into your bedroom, seemingly ignorant to the painful words he’d just said. You looked around the living room, vision blurry with tears, your chest heavy with anger and disgust. You rushed towards the elevator.

“When you find time in your busy schedule and feel like being my spouse again, let me know!” the elevator door closed before Lucifer could say anything

~~~

When Lucifer woke up the next morning to a cold and empty bed, he didn’t think much of it.Truthfully, he was still kind of pissed at the attitude you had given him a day before, so he got dressed as usual and went to the precinct, assuming you’ll be home by nightfall.

Except when he got home that night, he stopped by Lux first, which ended up like it always does: with him sucked into an endless cycle of booze and dancing, that lasted until well into the night. When he did enter the penthouse eventually, he found it empty. Exactly the way he had left it in the morning. Even the tie he had left on the floor, after deciding last minute that it didn’t go with his suit, was untouched. Now this was curious, but still, Lucifer felt like you must be playing hard to get. He sent you one text message, before going to bed

“Call me when you can!”

The day after that, he figured his part was done! By reaching out first, he had already made a big compromise, so now it was your turn! To reach out, come home! But that didn’t happen that day, or the day after that.

Three days after the text message,Lucifer was getting worried. He was looking at his phone every other minute. Always making sure he hadn’t accidently put it on silent or missed any texts. He sent more messages, telling you he was sorry and that he wanted you to come home. That he would listen and spend more time with you, promising luxurious dates and weekend trips, if only you forgave him. You didn’t even open the messages.

“Lucifer are you listening?” Decker was insanely annoyed at her partner’s lack of concentration

“Sorry detective. I’ve...I’ve got a lot on my mind”

“Well, better get it out of the way now, so that we can move on to our case!” she said, cleaning out her desk quickly, before resting back into her chair “Talk to me!”

“It’s Y/N. I’m worried about her!”

“Why?” “We...had a fight a couple days ago and she left. She hasn’t come back since”

“Have you heard from her at all?”

“No…” Lucifer said, embarrassed at his own lack of care for you. He should have called you earlier, reached out more! He should have tried harder!

“How long had she been missing for?”

“4...maybe 5 days…”

“Lucifer, are you sane? And you’re only telling me now?!” Chloe jumped from her seat, turning on her computer

“I thought she needed space! I thought she was avoiding me intentionally cause she was angry! I didn’t know…” Lucifer choked back a sob, not wanting to break down in tears in the middle of the precinct

“Lucifer!” Chloe caught hold of his hand “I’m gonna find her! I promise you!” A few days later, she did. Well, more like Y/n came to her, in the shape of a pretty little gift box left on Decker's doorstep.

“A lil too late on your case detective” read the note attached to it.

Inside were Y/N’s clothes, all of them stained with dark, dried blood. Y/N was declared dead that day and the case was closed. At her funeral, only her closests friends were present. Lucifer wanted it to be as intimate as possible.

That day was also the first time anyone had seen Lucifer, since the news. His eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles under his eyes almost matched the black suit he was wearing. Throughout the ceremony he kept twisting his wedding band, a habit he’d picked up on since you went missing. He chose not to do a speech, but once the crowd disappeared, and he was left face to face with your grave, he pulled out a little piece of paper from his pocket and sat down on the grass.

“In hell, everyone feared me. There, I was nothing but another server of the universe, ruling over an empire I never really wanted, because I never had a choice. So eventually I left, thinking anywhere will be better than what I had, and I came to earth.

I ran into you about 2 weeks later, before I really even knew how to behave myself. Before I knew anything about who I really was besides ‘the devil’. I longed to know, grow and discovers different sides of me, where I could be something new, and you gave it to me. You made me who I never thought I could possibly be. You made me a lover. I never thought of myself as capable to love anyone, in any degree, but your light shone everywhere you went and your kindness touched me and everyone around you. It became impossible to not get infatuated with your person. I allowed you to see and feel around every dark corner of my soul and being and every time I thought it was the end. Everytime I would take in your touch as if it was the last, I would prepare myself for abandonment, but it never came. Through everything you stood by my side and when I felt my darkest, you gave me a fistful of your light and that was enough to keep me going. You married a broken man and called him perfect, despite everyone telling you how much of a foul you were. Even then, you shooed them away. Even then you chose me. I wasn’t worthy of your love or your trust and our last night together proved it.

You’re not here anymore to hear my apologies and I’ll never forgive myself for it. You’ve gone now somewhere I can not follow, but I know you are well taken care of there. I hope, someway, somehow, you’ll hear these words: I am sorry. I loved you with my entire soul. Not listening to you was the biggest mistake of my life and I’ll never forgive myself. I choose however, to remember you as you were, because I know that’s what you’d want. I’ll remember you and your laugh.I’ll remember our date nights and shopping sprees. Nights in Lux or on the penthouse balcony. I’ll remember all the meals you prepared for me and the flirtatious remarks you used to make, because you thought they were so silly. I’ll remember the little frown on your face whenever you worked on an important project for work and I’ll remember every evening walk around the block you’d make me accompany you on. I know I always complained about them, but they were always fun. Everything I ever did with you was always fun.

I loved you. I still do. You are my everything Y/N. Thank you for devoting yourself to me in all the ways that you did. I’ll forever live on in my heart.“

~~~

It had been months since your disappearance. After all this time, you finally managed to escape your kidnappers and report them to the New York police station, since that’s where you had been held hostage for so long. As soon as the paperwork was done and you were sure that the people who ruined you were getting the punishment they deserved, you jumped on a train and headed straight back home. Straight to Lucifer.

Lux looked exactly the same as you had left it. You were washed over by a wave of comfort that almost brought you to tears. Home. You never thought you’d get to step in here again. Overwhelmed, you took a seat on one of the couches, allowing your head to rest back on it, as you took in every detail of your surroundings: the feel of the leather on your fingertips, the cool breeze of the air conditioning, the warm lights. Everything was still here.

“Y/N?” you jumped at the sound

“Hi love…” your voice broke as you said those words. Words you never thought you would be able to mutter again. The sight of your husband, messy as he was, made you weak in the knees. He was standing at the top of the staircase, dressed in nothing but his robe, tied carelessly around his waist. He had probably just woken up. You wanted to say something again, but before you could, he laughed

“Nope” he said simply, before making his way down the stairs and to the bar “I’m not doing this. Not today, not ever!” Lucifer filled his glass to the top with bourbon, before turning around and trying to leave back to where he came from

“Lucifer, it's me!”

“Sure you are, except you’re not real! Nice of dad, taking my ability to stay endlessly sober, getting me drunk, forcing visions of my dead wife onto me to teach me another lesson about managing my emotions. Real clever, except this is too much! So I’m going to enter that elevator and I expect to never have to see you again, hum? Right, well, au revoir now!” he continued on his way, but before he could get far, you were clutching on the silk tie of his robe. Lucifer felt the tug around his waist and turned around slowly to look at you, this time a little more unsure. As if he was trying to figure you out

“Lucifer, I’m Y/N. I escaped”

“Escaped? But that’s impossible, she died! I saw it-”

“What you saw was a bloody shirt!” he looked up to meet your gaze, tears already forming “They lied to you Lucifer”

Finally, it seemed like he had connected all of the pieces of the puzzle. The glass of alcohol fell to the ground and your husband wrapped you in a big hug for the first time in months. He nuzzled his head in your hair and took in your scent, your figure, your warmth. Hell, you were even more perfect that he remembered! Silent tears fell down both of your cheeks as you collapsed to the ground, still holding onto each other for dear life

“I’m so sorry” Lucifer sobbed in your hair “I’m so so sorry”

“It wasn’t your fault Luci”

“If I hadn’t been a jerk you wouldn’t have left! If I would have simply listened to you, they wouldn’t have gotten to you! You would’ve stayed here, where you belong! You would have stayed with me but instead I was too busy with my stupid job and the stupid cases and I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” he continued crying on your shoulder as you rubbed small circles on his back

“I’m here now my love” you whispered, kissing his cheek “And I’m not going anywhere”

#lucifer #lucifer netflix #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar imagine #lucifer morningstar angst #lucifer morningstar

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jillianallen14 · 3 years

Text

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit: Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside: Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know: AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations: First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol.

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves: The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans: The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one.

The Ren shat’var Trilogy: A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction: Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman: Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas: While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After: Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny.

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home): In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities: Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock.

A Habitual Affection: Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one.

Atlas: Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

#spirk #spock #kirk #james t kirk #spock/kirk #kirk/spock #star trek #star trek tos #star trek aos #space husbands #spirk fanfic recs #spirk fanfic

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ikroah · 2 years

Photo

How many times have you heard someone say “if I had his money, I could do things my way?” But little they know that it's so hard to find one rich man in ten with a satisfied mind. —“A Satisfied Mind,” Porter Wagoner (1955)

It Keeps Right On a-Hurtin’ #21 - Freeside V

Collaborative Issue! Guest Artist: @tarberrymentats

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Notes / Original Pencils / Transcript

Notes

Okay so here’s the thing. Yes, in-game there are sewers beneath Freeside that you can enter and explore. Yes, as far as dangers go, there are ghouls in parts of the sewer. No, none of these sewer tunnels actually allow you to subvert the Vegas gate via subterranean means, like I very confidently thought they did when I first outlined this volume of IKROAH and scripted this issue probably close to a year ago. Yes, it would have required rewriting the entire outline of Volume 2 to account for this because Agnes would have to get out of Freeside a different way. Yes, I care much more about telling a strong and coherent narrative than I do about what strictly happens in the video game Fallout: New Vegas. Yes, this is very sexy and cool of me.

Everybody give a big round of applause to @tarberrymentats for crushing the art again just like they did last December, they’ve been one of my favorite artists since I first ever became a part of this community and it’s been great to become such good friends outside of just the Fallout fandom. I love it so much when I get a guest ink-and-colorist because adhering so close to my pencils creates this really interesting hybrid of our styles that you just don’t get from any other kind of collaboration. It’s an especial honor to have had Halk work on this issue specifically, too; I couldn’t help but get the number one ghoul aficionado to assist with an appearance from of my favorite minor NPCs in the game: Rotface! He was fun to write, and fun to use as a way to show a little bit more of Agnes’ character and history. First that “maniac medic” thing Beth mentioned, now this? What the fuck is her deal? Maybe we’ll finally find out for sure in an issue or two. Maybe.

Also of note: IKROAH has a brand new font! Caveat Brush has been the font for all of the previous issues, but as my lettering has gotten much better and much more attentively professional over time, I started to disagree with it. The new font going forward is “Unmasked” from BlamBot, a possibly generic font that is nevertheless very suited for my purposes here.

Original Pencils (click for full size)

It felt really great to draw Agnes again after so long. With this issue primarily just being a conversation, I wanted to make sure the layout was interesting throughout, and conveyed the emotional beats and narrative focus very intentionally. I’ve included the original thumbnail sketches on the pencils for page 5, because that page had so much empty space anyway due to the way it looked in the final product. You can see a few alternate designs for the fifth page among them, such as a more typical-looking page, a dizzying overhead shot, and a close-up of the Lucky 38, but I went with the sort of “tunnel system” layout for Rotface’s dialogue rather than try to stack a bunch of balloons.

You can also see on the fourth page an original sketch for Agnes’ “flashback” panel (to the very first issue of IKROAH) that wound up getting replaced for old art. It just didn’t look good with the whole page around it, and using the old panel from Issue #1 carried a lot more weight. It was still a pretty cool design, though, so I’m glad you can all still see it in the pencils.

And lastly, there’s the final page, which was actually added after I had already scripted and drawn the entire issue. The issue originally ended just with Agnes walking away, but it felt like it was missing something, and this extra coda with Agnes and Cass entering the sewers was a much better final note. I just want to say, going into this issue, it was probably my least favorite that I had scripted just because it felt far too purely functional as a matter of getting Agnes from Point A to Point B. But it went through many dialogue revisions, especially during the process of lettering it after it was already drawn, that kept the same idea while adding much more emotional depth, and now I’m instead very fond of this issue and what it does for Agnes’ character.

Tumblr was being very difficult with letting these particular pencils be viewed at full size on desktop, so just click here (1), here (2), and here (3) for them instead.

Transcript

EXT. FREESIDE, a street corner. A ghoul known as ROTFACE sits on the sidewalk against the building of a pre-war water filter installation business.

Suddenly, over him, is:

AGNES: Is this seat taken?

ROTFACE: It is if you’re asking, ugly. Take a hike. Unless you maybe care to spare a cigarette.

AGNES SANDS sits down next to the ghoul.

AGNES (sitting down): Thanks, Zeke.

ROTFACE: Don’t mention it. How’re you doing, Agnes? S’been a while.

AGNES: Yeah, I was, uh…shot in the head.

ROTFACE: You’re fine other than that though, right?

AGNES (weakly smiling): Yeah. Yeah, just peachy.

ROTFACE: Y’know, I heard you were back in town—well, figured, because what I heard specifically was that you killed Dixon.

AGNES (removing two cigarettes from a box): Oh. Well…there was, uh, well, it was this whole thing with the Followers*—

CAP: *Last ish. -Lou

ROTFACE: Oh, I’m well aware, ha ha. Grecks said he could hear Dr. Farkas chewing you out from four blocks away.

AGNES (handing cigarette to Rotface): Zeke, I really don’t want to talk about it.

ROTFACE: Alright, sorry. Tough break, Ag. I mean it.

AGNES: Um…nice hat, by the way.

ROTFACE: Aw, thanks! You think so? Cost a lotta caps, but man, worth it. Really brings out my eyes.

AGNES: Wait—where’d you get the money?

ROTFACE: Just because I’m a beggar doesn’t mean I can’t save up for stuff. something nice every once in a while. And last time I really got anything nice for myself was that steak I had after top surgery. Besides, this is more of a long term investment. I spend my caps on food, that’s gone as soon as I eat it, right? But this hat? Bought it three weeks ago.

AGNES: I worry about you…please don’t buy hats instead of food.

ROTFACE: Bury me in it, then. If you worry so much, why don’t you buy me something to eat?

AGNES: I would, Zeke, but…I can’t. I literally can’t. I’m broke.

ROTFACE: Get your own corner to beg on, then.

AGNES: I’m serious, Zeke, come on. I’m only here at all because I need to get on the Strip.

ROTFACE: For business or pleasure?

AGNES: Uh…no, it’s…I…I…

A memory of blinding light from the barrel of a pistol, a gunshot, and then the silence and darkness of the grave.

AGNES: There’s someone I’ve been trying to find.

AGNES: But I blew the last caps I had here just trying to scrounge enough for the gate.

AGNES: ...I’m worried I’ve really fucked up.

ROTFACE frowns sympathetically.

ROTFACE: Y’knooow, I heard that security has been kind of lax at Mick and Ralph’s lately—

AGNES: No. I’m not going to steal it, Zeke. And not from them.

ROTFACE: Not gonna steal from Dixon either, or did you at least loot his corpse?

AGNES glares fiercely at ROTFACE.

ROTFACE: …eheh. Sorry.

ROTFACE: Well…alright, fair. I'd be a bad friend to make you go back to that shit, anyway. So let me be a good friend. Maybe I can get you onto the Strip.

AGNES is stunned. She leans toward ROTFACE urgently.

AGNES: You’ve got enough cash for the gate check!?

ROTFACE: Ha! Good one. If I did then I sure as hell still wouldn’t be in Freeside. No, what I do got for you is a damn good tip: you want to go in? Go under. But it’s dangerous.

ROTFACE: What you do is pry open the manhole on east Fremont and take the old sewer tunnels. It's gonna be miles of maze-like bullshit, sure, but all the pre-war stuff's still connected. The first ladder you're gonna want goes up behind the Ultra-Luxe, I think. Squatters used to sneak onto the Strip this way sometimes, but it's been a while, might be sealed off by now…might be. I'm not sure. That's not why they stopped.

ROTFACE: No…that'd be because of the ghouls. And not the kind capable of a pleasant conversation like moi.

AGNES: Huh. If it is sealed, would you know with what?

ROTFACE: Probably nothing that you couldn't pick apart in your sleep. Shit's gotta flow somewhere, and sewers need maintenance, so it shouldn't be all tombed up with concrete like what Mr. House did to that one vault hotel.

ROTFACE: But yeah, that's it. Fuck the gate check. Get a little messy, or just a whole lot lucky—and Agnes Sands is on the Vegas Strip for free.

ROTFACE: Really gotta watch those ghouls, though. Get caught, and you may not spend any money, but it still might cost an arm and a leg. Know what I mean?

AGNES: Thanks. It’s, uh…at least I know what to expect.*

CAP: Wouldn’t be the first time. See IKROAH #11. -Lou

ROTFACE: No problem, friend. And I’ll sell my hat for a nice grassy plot if you don’t come back.

AGNES (standing up): You really mean that?

ROTFACE: Hell no. You’ve told me before that you’d want to get cremated, anyway. Now scram, I don’t need deadbeat beggars like you hogging my corner.

AGNES (walking away): Thanks, Zeke. I’ll be seeing you.

ROTFACE (waving goodbye): Aw, don’t mention it, Agnes. And best of luck to you in Vegas!

EXT. ELSEWHERE IN FREESIDE.

AGNES walks a few blocks to reconvene with ROSE OF SHARON CASSIDY, and they share a few words before they continue walking together.

ROTFACE (cont.): I always wanted to go and try the machines. Y’know, slots…but if I was a good gambler then I probably wouldn't be a beggar, ha ha.

EXT. ELSEWHERE STILL, EAST FREMONT STREET.

AGNES and CASS approach a sewer lid over a manhole in the middle of the dilapidated street.

ROTFACE (cont): There's always some kind of system in place that just makes sure you lose anyway, right?

CASS casts a nervous glance toward AGNES.

ROTFACE (cont): So it’d probably be a bad idea no matter what.

AGNES returns the look impassively.

ROTFACE (cont.): There’s an old saying like that, I think, but...gun to my head, I can’t remember how the whole thing goes…

The manhole lid is off, and AGNES and CASS are gone.

#fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #courier six #agnes sands #rotface #freeside #volume 02 #21 #ikroah archive

150 notes · View notes

iliveiloveiwrite · 3 years

Text

I wonder what it’s like to be loved by you // Benedict Bridgerton

Summary: You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember. Is this the season where he finally realises?

A/N: I LOVE BENEDICT. I love him so much. What do I have to do to get a Benedict? Title is from Shawn Mendes - Wonder. I had so much fun writing this fic, I can’t wait to write more for the Bridgerton fandom! I truly hope you all like it, let me know what you think please?

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of food and drink, fluff, pining, mutual pining, dancing, balls, obliviousness, friends to lovers, she/her pronouns, a lot of history - I am a historian after all and this is the regency era.

Word count: 4.8k

Lady Danbury never spared any expense on the balls she held every season. She knew full well that many a match could be made that night so there was not only pressure from the ton, but also a responsibility that this ball must outdo all others thrown before – by herself and other matriarchs in society.

A feat she always managed to achieve, the elder thinks to herself as she watches your eyes widen upon entering the ornately decorated room. Looking you up and down, she approves of your outfit – a dark blue dress punctuated with silver jewellery, hair twisted into an updo with only a few strands hanging loose to frame your face. From her spot across the ballroom, Lady Danbury wonders how you hadn’t married yet.

As the band strikes up, Lady Danbury walks into the fray, greeting her guests with a smile. All the while, she keeps a trained eye on you, wondering who on earth had captured your heart but had not noticed.

-------------

No matter how hard he tried, the charcoal would not wash from his fingers. Having scrubbed and scrubbed at his hands, Benedict could only offer you a smile of apology as you not only noted his lateness but the state of his hands.

“It’s very fortunate that you are a talented artist,” You comment with a teasing smile.

Benedict reaches for your hand, dropping a kiss to the back of it before answering. “I class myself as very fortunate to have a friend like you who understands how easy it is to get lost in a sketch or a painting.”

You roll your eyes, careful not to let anyone else but Benedict see your act of impropriety. He smirks, unable to help himself.

“You’re a shameful flatterer, Benedict.”

“Some might even call me a ‘rake’,” He replies, his tone teasing.

“I shall save that for when you’ve really annoyed me.”

He laughs; a loud chuckle that draws the attention of those closest to you. Most notably, Benedict’s mother, Violet Bridgerton and Lady Danbury.

Benedict clears his throat; cheeks flushed not only from the attention but from the knowledge that his mother would soon be making her way over to him. He adored his mother; was grateful for her every day, but he could happily admit he could live without the meddling in his love life. He grabs your gloved hand once more; kissing the back of it in parting before asking, “Save me a dance on your card?”

“Always,” You answer, watching his back as he stalks away. Benedict narrowly avoids being collared by his mother, an act to which you find yourself smiling at.

With thoughts of Benedict in mind, you wander around the outskirts of the ballroom, your dark blue skirts swishing pleasantly under foot. You pause only to grab a lemonade from the table, sipping happily at the cold drink.

You catch sight of the brunette that had stolen your heart dancing with Penelope Featherington and though you know there is no romance there, your heart is unable to stop the hurt that lashes through it. Schooling your face into a mask of polite delight, you force yourself to turn away from the sight of the man you had so readily given your heart to dancing with someone else.

“How long have you been in love with my brother?” A raspy voice asks from behind you.

Your lemonade splashes slightly as you turn to face your interrogator. “Eloise!” You laugh, smiling too wide to be comfortable, “Whatever do you mean?”

Eloise’s shrewd blue eyes narrow slightly as she takes in your dismissal. She waves her hand in the general direction of Benedict though you knew exactly where he was – could feel his location thrumming in your veins.

“Don’t play coy, (Y/N). It doesn’t become you. Now, how long have you been in love with Benedict?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? How long had you loved Benedict? Thinking back on it, you’re sure that you’ve always loved him. Your family had been good friends with the Bridgerton family for as long as you could remember. Your mother was always having tea with Violet and you were always thrust upon the eight siblings without much worry. Your friendship with Benedict had started in earnest when you had complimented his art skills, bringing up how you liked to draw too. From there, a close friendship was forged.

By your twentieth year on this earth, you realised that your feelings for the second Bridgerton were no longer platonic… that you craved something more. Falling for Benedict Bridgerton felt inevitable almost; that your heart was destined to be his whether he knew it or not.

Sighing heavily, you see no point in lying to the second eldest Bridgerton girl. “For as long as I can remember,” You admit, rushing to add on, “But he doesn’t know so please don’t tell him!”

Eloise’s eyes widen at your confession, not only shocked that you readily admitted your feelings for her elder brother, but for how long you have harboured them. “Is that why you have not yet married?” She demands, “Because you loved him?”

Biting your lip, you nod. “It wouldn’t be fair to my husband. Their wife in love with another man – it doesn’t exactly set stable foundations for a long, prosperous marriage and…”

“And…” Eloise prompts, her innate curiosity getting the better of her. If her mother could hear her now, she would surely receive a scolding.

You ball your hands into fists before letting them drop to your sides; letting them hang there like the constant hope you have for Benedict.

“And I still hope he’ll notice I’m here. That I have been here all along,” You voice cracks on the admission causing a pang of upset to flash through Eloise. She’d reach out to comfort you, but it would only draw attention from the many mothers circling and no doubt, Lady Whistledown.

“(Y/N)…” Eloise begins but you hold a single hand up to stop her before she starts. With a strained smile, you reassure her. “It’s fine, Eloise. I accept it with every season that passes that it is unlikely he shall ever return my feelings.”

“Then he is a fool,” Eloise states plaining, sending a glare in the direction of her beloved brother. She had no qualms admitting that Benedict was indeed her favourite sibling, but he had his moments where he vexed her beyond belief.

“Who is a fool?” A voice questions to the right of you. Benedict.

Freezing in place, you cast a helpless look at Eloise, begging her silently to take control of this situation. Eloise smiles and nods imperceptibly. She turns towards her brother, hooking her arm through yours as she declares, “The men that have not offered their hand to (Y/N) yet. They’re all fools, aren’t they dear brother.”

Benedict casts his gaze towards you; his eyes scanning your face for what, he does not know. “Fools,” He agrees quietly though he is heard perfectly over the music. “Would you care to dance?” He asks, wanting you to himself for a little while. As much as he loved his younger sister, she was a keen observer, and he wasn’t ready for her to figure out his feelings just yet. Not when he hadn’t admitted them to you.

Nodding your head, you take his outstretched hand, bidding goodbye to Eloise for now. The brunette shakes her head as the both of you walk away. Oblivious, she thinks to herself, completely oblivious.

As the music strikes up once more, it becomes obvious that the next dance is a waltz, requiring the closeness of your partner. It was only years ago that this dance had scandalised the ton for its closeness – now, it was required at every ball, many married couples savouring the intimacy.

Benedict’s hand settles on the small of your back as his other grips your hand. Your hand rests comfortably on his shoulder as he begins to lead you through the steps you have known since your youth.

Music around you fades as do the other couples. The only two people in the room are Benedict and yourself. The feel of his hand on your back and the look in his eyes; it’s enough to have you accept your fate then and there. It’s enough for you to admit that you have been ruined for any and all men; finding yourself in love with the man who holds you so tenderly and has always held you in high regard. Is this it? You ask yourself, is this what it feels like to be loved by him? To feel like the only one in the world. If it is, you’ll take it with open hands.

Your eyes do not leave his as Benedict leads you through the rises and falls of the dance. His hand remains a steady presence on your lower back; the feeling just enough to distract you from the crowd now watching you and instead, leading you to wonder what his hands would feel like elsewhere on your body.

As the music falls into another song; this one more upbeat, Benedict drops his hands, letting you free. He hadn’t wanted to; had wanted to pull you from the ballroom, to confess the feelings that have haunted him for years and to ask you to be his for better or for worse.

But he doesn’t. Instead, he bows and smiles, reaches for your hand to kiss it and then lets himself breathe as he turns and walks away.

-------------

Dear Reader,

Though there is much to report from Lady Danbury’s ball last night – the fashion, the food, the décor – This Author wants to focus on one moment in particular.

Now, Dear Reader, whilst you may wonder the importance of such a moment, remember that it is one’s job to observe all. That is why I want to bring attention to Mr. Benedict Bridgerton who found himself extremely popular last night, dancing with many eligible women and delighting them with his talents.

However, Dear Reader, this is not the moment I want to focus on.

No. Instead, I want to bring attention to the heart most likely suffering in silence as Mr. Bridgerton continues to charm the ton.

As you all know, I am not one to beat around the proverbial bush and hide identities, but for the sake of the woman who has found herself in love with the second eldest Bridgerton for as long she can remember, I shall endeavour to keep her name a secret.

Know, however, that This Author’s sympathies lie with you.

To love another unrequitedly is a dear shame.

----------

The gossip sheet is scrunched to a ball in your hands. It’s all you can do to keep the tears from falling down your face. As if you didn’t know your love was unrequited; as if you didn’t know you had all but doomed yourself to being a spinster as you wait for a man who did not know you loved him.

Lady Whistledown knew your secret, and your identity. As a result, the whole ton knew your secret but whatever morals the author possesses, she had not revealed your identity.

Summoning the carriage, you ask to be taken to Bridgerton House where you can speak to Eloise in confidence and ask for her advice on what she might do. Deep down, you had to know whether Benedict had read the paper too.

It doesn’t take long for Eloise to find you in the tea room; a cup of tea in your hands but readily ignored as you chew on the inside of your cheek. Her brown hair tied up in her usual bun, her eyes hold the pity you didn’t want to see or hear as of this moment.

“I didn’t know she was listening, I swear,” Eloise promises, sitting by your side and reaching for your hand.

“I know,” You comfort, “You would never tell a soul.”

“At least she didn’t reveal your identity,” Eloise chirps, trying to find a silver lining.

“Yet she has revealed my secret to the entirety of London society,” You sigh. Removing your hand from Eloise’s, you press your palm to your forehead, feeling overwhelmingly tired and desperate for the day to be over already. “Does he know?”

Eloise chews on her bottom lip, deciding whether to answer you. “He has read it,” She admits, but rushes to add, “He doesn’t know it’s you! He doesn’t have a clue really. He’s angrier at himself for not noticing anything was amiss.”

“I don’t know what to do,” You whisper, feeling helpless.

“For now,” Eloise states, “We do nothing.”

---------

Your heels sink into the soft carpet as you wander down the stairs, pausing only to check you have everything. Your mind remains elsewhere as you check your bag out of habit, the conversation with Eloise, the latest gossip sheet, your feelings for Benedict. They circle around your mind, leaving you dizzy in their wake as you try to make sense of them all, try to find your next step in and amongst the mess.

“(Y/N),” Benedict greets, hurrying down the final few stairs, pleasantly surprised, “What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were visiting.”

“I came to drop in on Eloise. I wanted to thank her for last night; she was an ear when I needed someone to listen.”

“Is it anything I can help with?” He asks, voice taking on a concerned note as he reaches out for you.

You shake your head, squeezing his hand in return. “For now, everything is okay.”

Benedict clears his throat. “I’m glad to hear it, but please come to me next time. I want to help if I can.”

“I will,” You promise, your eyes now scanning over his fine clothes. “Where are you off to?”

“An art exhibition at Somerset House. They’re showing some Holbein’s from the Royal collection.”

“Holbein’s?” You ask, shocked at the name falling from Benedict’s mouth.

He nods, just as excited. It was a rare thing indeed to have Holbein’s on display; they were usually kept in whatever royal residence they found themselves in; hidden away from the public eye. Art was the very foundation of your friendship; having seen so many of his sketches as a young boy and watching them develop into surer lines and confident strokes. Benedict was an exceptionally talented artist – something he would say about yourself. Benedict was the only person to see such work; the watercolours in your sketchpad leaving him breathless as you bring life to the inanimate.

“Would you like to join me?” He asks before he can talk himself out of it. He had barely seen you all season; you had closed in yourself, as if accepting a fate that you did not want. Benedict would do what he could to ensure your happiness for a little bit longer.

“Unchaperoned?”

A faint blush rises on Benedict’s cheeks as he realises what he has asked of you. “I shall ask Eloise to accompany us,” He suggests, turning to face the direction in which you had just come, “Did she mention any plans to you?”

You shake your head to which Benedict leases a sigh of relief. “I’ll go ask her now. I’m sure she won’t mind… much.”

Laughing quietly, you wait patiently in the entryway of Bridgerton House. The house in London so often felt like a second home to you; spending so much of childhood summers here when your mother would take tea with the Bridgerton matriarch. As you grew into your teens, you would begin to visit the house with just your maid, calling on the family for social niceties. The friendship with Benedict and Eloise only solidified your standing in the close family unit.

Eloise’s voice brings you back to the present. She walks down the stairs, accompanied by her brother. Taking one look at you, waiting patiently for the both of them, Eloise gets a mischievous look in her eye. It isn’t a look that leaves you in comfort, but rather leaves you wondering just what she has planned for the art exhibition.

“Eloise has so graciously accepted to join us,” Benedict announces, sounding rather pleased with himself.

Eloise smiles: a smile that sets Benedict’s nerves on edge. He would owe her for this, that much he knew. “I would be more than happy to accompany you, brother.”

Benedict resists the urge to groan; he’s in deep shit for this.

“Thank you, Eloise,” You murmur with a smile. Something in Eloise softens at your tone as if she would be unable to deny you this time with Benedict when it was their mother’s mission to see him married off this very season.

“Of course,” Eloise allows, glancing between you and Benedict – noting the longing in both sets of eyes. She shakes her head, gesturing to the door and where the carriages waits just beyond it. “Shall we?”

--------

“He wasn’t a handsome monarch, was he?” Eloise murmurs quietly, staring up at the grand portrait of the fearsome king who preferred executing his wives rather than loving them.

The walls of Somerset House have become dedicated to the eyes of the past. Past monarchs and relatives decorate the walls; their eyes following each attendant, as if curious to see how society is progressing less than three hundred years after the death of the artist.

Benedict chuckles; the very sound raising goosebumps across your skin. You barely repress the shiver the sound elicits. Trying your best to listen as the siblings argue about the reign of this particular monarch – the pros and the cons to what he did for the very country he ruled over for decades.

“Oh!” Eloise gasps, interrupting the argument and loosening her grip on your arm, she waves frantically at Penelope Featherington. “Would you mind terribly if I go say hello?”

“Not at all,” You laugh.

“You’re sure you’ll be okay with Benedict?”

The man in question scoffs, rolling his eyes at his little sister. “Off with you,” He dismisses, “I’ll escort (Y/N) – someone who actually appreciates the art.”

Eloise laughs as she turns away, but you do not miss the wink she sends in your direction. It hits you all at once; her mischievous look before you all left the house. She had concocted this plan in her head; accepting to accompany you as a rouse to get you and Benedict alone.

You didn’t know whether to appreciate her genius or hide her favourite book.

Jumping at the sound of someone clearing their throat, you focus your attention on Benedict. He watches you with an amused look, and it’s then that you realise that he has stood beside you waiting with his arm out for a minute or so whilst you glared after his younger sister. Taking his arm, you rid yourself of any thoughts of violence against Eloise. Instead, focusing on the man beside you.

“How are you?” You ask, hand resting gently on Benedict’s forearm.

“Do you mean in general or after today’s publication?”

“Both, I suppose.”

“In general, I am quite well. I have a wonderful lady on my arm, and I am in the presence of excellent art work. However, after today’s publication, I must admit I am rather angry.”

“Oh?” You sound, trying hard not to let his words affect you so much but they rattle around your mind on repeat, committing themselves where they will last for an eternity.

“I’ve never been the focus of the gossip paper and now after one ball, I am. I don’t think I like the attention.”

“I don’t believe that for one second, Benedict Bridgerton.”

He pauses, smiling widely down at you. His eyes light up with the smile and your heart begins to pound at the sight of it. “Alright, I do like the attention,” He concedes, “But what I don’t like are the looks I’m getting from all mothers.”

“Why?”

“They all look like I’m about to break their daughter’s heart.”

“I’m sure you’re just imagining things,” You reassure, tightening your grip on his arm.

“I don’t think I am,” He states, nodding politely at Lady Whitelaw who in turn glares at the younger man. He turns his gaze to you as if to say, see?

You turn your face away from him, trying your best to hide the smile and laugh that threatens to break free. “You’re laughing at me, aren’t you?” Benedict guesses, a smile in his own voice.

“I’m not,” You promise, schooling your face into a mask of indifference, focusing on the closest sketch to you. A graphite sketch of Anne Boleyn; marking her beauty only years before her death.

“You are,” Benedict argues, standing beside you, admiring the same sketch. Throwing him a knowing smile, you turn your attentions to rest of the exhibition, unable to hide your awe at just what is being shown to the public.

The art is incredible; your watercolours barely compare to what is being shown in Somerset House. He would disagree in a heartbeat, but Benedict could come close to producing something of this calibre. He had shown his portraits of his mother and brothers; Anthony making the perfect candidate for a painting.

You come to a natural stop in front of a portrait of a young women. A young queen, in fact. This particular queen had never got to reign in the manner that she was capable, dying after giving birth the king’s heir. His one true love, the king had called her after he death.

“She’s beautiful,” You whisper, admiring not only the artistry but also the focus on the painting.

Benedict watches you admiring the portrait painted so carefully by Holbein. Though the portrait is indeed beautiful, Benedict finds himself agreeing that they do not hold a candle to you. As he watches you lift a single hand, trying to dampen the urge to run your fingers over the brush strokes, he thinks to himself that there would be no artist on this earth that would be so talented to capture your beauty.

His breath comes faster; his heart rate increases. He recognises the symptoms; he’s only experienced such signs before. He had been eighteen then; barely a man but man enough to accept that he had fallen in love with his best friend. Years later, here he was, experiencing such feelings once more. Once more, he wonders what it would be like to be loved by you. He cannot help but hope that the mystery woman in the society papers is you.

-------

Dear Reader,

It seems that Mr. Benedict Bridgerton reads my paper!

He was overheard at the Somerset House Holbein exhibition, complaining to Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N) about my last column in which I criticised his treatment of the lady in love with him.

All I have to say on the matter is this:

Mr. Bridgerton, for every complaint you offer, you break her heart further. Stop now before you do irreparable damage.

-----

“What does she mean ‘break her heart further’? I’ve been trying to figure out who it is so I can put a stop to it!”

“It doesn’t matter whether you know who it is, Benedict,” You argue, placing your teacup on the table, “But rather the fact that you unknowingly hurt whoever it is that is in love with you.”

“Do my feelings not matter?” He demands, throwing the damned paper onto the table. Benedict runs a hand through his hair, sighing in frustration. “I’m sorry,” He apologises, “I should not have taken that tone with you. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“You’re forgiven,” You laugh, “I’ve heard you say a lot worse.”

He smiles though it doesn’t reach his eyes. Leaning forward on your chair, you wring your hands together, working up the nerve. “What feelings haven’t they taken into account?”

“Lady Whistledown,” He spits the name with derision, “Hasn’t taken into account that I may not have noticed someone in love with me because I am in love with someone myself.”

It’s as if the chair is pulled out from under you; your stomach dips and flips as the world crashes around you and Benedict is none the wiser. He’s none the wiser to the palpable shift that has taken place. Instead, he’s sat down across from, looking utterly defeated.

“Does she know?” You ask after a moment of silence, using the time to pull yourself back together, to compile it all and put it away for later.

Benedict shakes his head; eyes sad as he watches you. “Why haven’t you told her?” You ask, unable to stop the questions now they’re on the tip of your tongue.

“I suppose for the same reason she hasn’t told me. Fear maybe?”

“Fear of what? I’ve never known you to be afraid of anything.”

“Fear of rejection. Fear of humiliation. Fear of ruining a friendship,” He lists off, counting the reasons on his fingers, holding them up for you to see.

“Have you thought about telling her?”

“All the time,” He answers honestly, and you wonder whether the crack your heart makes was audible to the whole of the ton.

“Do you plan on telling them?”

“Eventually.”

You take a deep breath, staring at the teacup instead of him, readying yourself to offer up your broken heart. To confess that the two most recent society papers have been about you; have shown your heart to the whole of London.

“It’s me,” You confess quietly, voice no louder than a whisper but he hears you all the same.

Benedict’s head whips towards you. Had this been another situation, it would have been funny, but the look on his face… “What?” He whispers, shocked.

“It’s me,” You announce; louder this time, ready to lay your heart out on the floor for him to break entirely. “It’s me, Benedict. Lady Whistledown must have overheard Eloise and myself talking at Lady Danbury’s ball the other night. She had caught me watching you dance and asked me outright. I couldn’t deny it. I’ve been in love with you for years, Benedict. For as long as I can remember.”

“For as long as you can remember?”

You nod, wringing your hands together once more. “I didn’t realise until I turned twenty, just what my feelings meant. I think I’ve always been in love with you, Benedict.”

Benedict remains silent; eyes wide, hands slack as they rest on his thighs. He looks like he doesn't believe the very words leaving your mouth; as if he is unworthy of the love you offer him so willingly.

“Say something, please,” You plead, “I know it isn’t proper for the woman to announce her feelings for the man, but I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer. Not when it is the focus for Lady Whistledown to sell more copies of her paper.”

“I didn’t know,” He whispers after a prolonged silence.

“You weren’t to know. You don’t have to feel the same, Benedict.”

“I do as it happens.”

“What?”

“I do feel the same,” Benedict clarifies, standing from his chair, “I’ve loved you since I was eighteen.”

You sniffle slightly; emotional from hearing the words you have longed to hear for years. The words that have haunted your dreams; had you rushing from sleep, so you didn’t let yourself believe an alternate reality.

“You do?”

Benedict nods, “I do. I love you very much.”

“I love you too,” You reply, standing from your chair, reaching for him – not wanting anymore space between the two of you.

He dips his head, pausing mere millimetres away from your lips. The question burns in his eyes; desperate to know whether he can kiss you after so long waiting. Your nod is barely imperceptible but it’s nod, nonetheless.

Slowly, almost wanting to savour every moment, Benedict presses his lips to yours. Reaching up, you haul him closer, wanting to feel every inch of him pressed against you after having waited so long, after having dreamed of this moment for too long.

He tastes like tea and his hands bring to life the butterflies in your stomach as they wander the path of your back, settling on your lower back, dipping you slightly. Benedict groans softly at the feel of you lined up against him. If he had known heaven was this close, he would not have waited this long.

Benedict breaks the kiss; not out of need of air, but to stop himself from taking this too far when you feel like heaven pressed against him. You smile widely, kissing his jaw lovingly before starting to laugh lightly. Benedict’s hands on your waist tighten possessively as he joins you in laughter.

Briefly, he wonders whether this is what it feels like to be loved by you.

********

Bridgerton Taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore @dreaming-about-fanfictions @now-its-time-for-a-breakdown

#benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton #benedict x reader #bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton imagines

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bakubros-boo-thang · 3 years

Text

Disrespected Devil

Wordcount: -4K

Lucifer x F!Reader

Summary: When you disrespect the demon king, Lucifer is forced to say goodbye to you.

Genre: Angst, smutt, slight fluff, but tbh just angst

A/N: So another first. Not only my first time writing for the Obey me fandom (I have a major Obey me brain rot), but also my first time writing angst and I felt depressed after finishing this (which I did a second ago). I love Diavolo, but I needed a reason for the goodbye to happen so even if his dad is the villain, he is the one to execute it... Hope you enjoy this story.

Warning: NSFW, mentioning of being paralyzed I guess.

‘’What’s with Luci today?’’ ‘’He looks more pissed of than usual…’’ ‘’He probably listened to classical music too long and forgot his homework.’’ ‘’Lucifer forgetting his homework will never happen, but if it did he would look like this.’’ Hearing all those whispers during dinner time is nothing new for you. Tonight is different though. You know why he’s mad and you know who’s the blame. But it��s not as if you don’t have a reason to be just as upset. As dinner slowly ends you know there is only a small gap to avoid a situation. ‘’Beel, how about we go bake something for later this evening?’’ You say, as you cling onto the huge redhead. You know that food is a trigger and you know that this is the way to hide from HIM. ‘’Alright, sounds delicious!’’ He doesn’t seem to notice the way you hold onto him for dear life and the same goes for the others. Clearly, they’ve gotten so used to you that it’s not even necessary to be by your side 24/7. It’s not as if they know tonight will be the last time they see you. It’s a small moment of weakness and you feel your heart clench by the thought of leaving those boys. It’s enough to make you lose your grip on Beel's arm. Enough to bend over, because it physically hurts to leave them behind and enough for Lucifer to finally notice you and come to your aid. ‘’Beel, I think she ate something wrong. No cake tonight, I will see her to her room.’’

And with that, he scoops you up and takes you upstairs. Of course, your room is not an option. It’s way too close to the other rooms. No place to yell. No, Lucifer’s room is soundproof. Made for his nights spent with loud classical music and also made for the occasional screaming match with one of his brothers. As he enters the room, he carefully puts you down on his bed. ‘’Are you feeling alright, Y/n?’’ He says as he lays his palm against your forehead. The feeling of sadness is gone, already replaced by nerves. You know what’s coming. You know you won’t hold back. Will this be your last fight with Lucifer? The question never makes it to the surface, because the moment you nod your head in ensurement, Lucifer opens his mouth. ‘’Good, because you have no idea how foolish you acted today.’’ As mentioned before this room reminds you of the occasional screaming matches he must’ve had with his brothers, but never with you. Pissing Lucifer off is easy. You’ve done that plenty of times. Even made him show his true form, but making him scream, that is something you never achieved. Still, it is worth the try. Tonight is your last chance. As you get up you take a look at his face. What faces you is the cold expression he usually shows when he’s done with someone’s bullshit. The expression you have already mirrored back to him. ‘’So you are going to ignore me?’’ I’m not going to answer him. ‘’Are you serious?’’ I am not going to say a word. ‘’Should I spell out what you did?’’ Don’t say a thing. ‘’You just signed your death certificate.’’ His voice cracks and even though it’s far from the scream you aimed for. It’s still the first sign of emotion from the man you care about so much. ‘’Diavolo didn’t seem upset by what I said?!’’ You can’t help but talk louder. especially after being silent for the past few minutes. ‘’ As if he is going to kill me? ME?! And ruin the bonds that are being formed with the humans?’’

You can feel the tears in your eyes, this fight might’ve been about you being disrespectful in some way, but for you it was different. All this time getting closer with all the brothers. All this time loving them. All this time being there for them. It made you realize that the only one who made it difficult was him. With every step getting closer to each other; there were always a few steps back. An obsession with keeping up appearance, an obsession over a promise he would keep no matter what, an obsession with being a stuck-up asshole; That was Lucifer in a nutshell for you. And still, you couldn’t help being drawn to him. As a moth drawn to a flame. Even when the flame could easily kill the moth. Just as easily Lucifer could kill you. And it’s not as if he hadn’t tried that before. ‘’Y/n, You disrespected his father. I had to bargain for you to even leave the castle. The first time I trusted you enough to take you with me alone. And this is how you behave? You know what he wanted to do to Belphegor…’’ You know this story is his weakness. The reason he ended up becoming the lapdog of his so-called best friend. Still, it only makes you more upset to hear him say it. Even when you can hear the slightest hint of emotion in his voice; his eyes stay just as cold as usual. ‘’He is your best friend, isn’t he? He is my friend too, right? You always do this Lucifer! You always get mad over things and it never solves anything. You get mad at me for having fun. You get mad at me for trying to help. You get mad at me for trying to get closer to you. You don’t share things with me! Maybe Diavolo should’ve locked me up. Might as well get myself killed; it’s not as if you never tried to kill me…’’ Your voice is loud as you speak, but his silence is louder. He just stares at you and then it happens.

It’s not that you’re scared you’ve seen his true form before. It’s just as beautiful as him, but it’s also something that happens when he’s full of rage, just as that one time he tried to kill you. You can feel yourself freeze under his gaze. You can feel yourself moving away from him until you reach the headboard of his bed. Still, he moves closer. Until his lips are inches away from your ears. No screams, only whispers; what a way to say goodbye. ‘’DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!’’ You are so shocked by the volume of his voice, the bass it carries, that it takes some time to realize he has more to say. Your ear is beeping as he moves his lips away and locks his gaze onto you. ‘’DIAVOLO IS NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM, Y/N, HIS DAD IS. YOU INSULTED THE KING OF DEVILDOM IN FRONT OF HIS SON AND MULTIPLE WITNESSES. DIAVOLO CAN’T DO SHIT ABOUT THAT.’’ Only now do you notice the way his hands are gripping your arms; The way his expression has changed from cold to almost desperate. ‘’That guy has only been able to do what his dad wanted. Our friendship is real, but if his father told him to kill me, he would do it without hesitation. Do you really think he would think twice about killing you? IF HE WOULD KILL ME -HIS BEST FRIEND- IN AN INSTANT?” You notice the tears in his eyes. Lucifer is screaming and crying, but this isn’t a win. Before your heart breaks again, his arms are around you and his face is hidden in your neck, but that doesn’t stop the words. ‘’I had to send you away. I had to be cold. They know I care about you, but not to this extent. I had to pretend it was for the sake of the bonds. After you left I had to beg on my knees for your survival. I had to beg. The avatar of pride begged someone on his knees. It was all Lillith over again…’’

There is nothing you can say to fix this. It might’ve slipped your mind while you were there. But you were surrounded by royalty. What might’ve seemed innocent for you, was clearly a lot for them and now you had to leave everyone you loved behind. You can feel the tears fall from your eyes. “I’m sorry Luci, I truly am.” It won’t help, but it’s the least you can say as you look up into his eyes. He is still in his true form, but even with his wings all spread out, he has never looked more vulnerable. There is a sad smile on his lips as he caresses your cheek. “I know you are, you fool.” He says with no trace of the rage he had before. “ I don't want to leave you all…I don't want to leave you!” You know that you sound like a small child that already knows he lost and that’s exactly what you feel like. “It’s too late for that now, Y/n. Diavolo gave me tonight to say my goodbyes.” You try to distract yourself by focusing on his raven colored wings. “So that means I can’t say goodbye to the rest…” The pain is back. Never being a fool with Mammon, never dressing up with Levi, doing make-up with Asmo, reading books with Satan, eating with Beel or sleeping with Belphie. You can’t help but grab your chest again. “Are you okay?” Lucifer is supporting you within seconds as he asks the question. “No I’m not, but atleast I get to say goodbye to you.” And as you look up he leans in and gives you a tiny peck on the lips. “I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time.” He lets out. You can’t help but smile as you pull him back towards you. “Let's make it a proper goodbye then.” You whisper as you pull him back to your lips.

It’s not like it’s your first kiss with Lucifer, but it’s the last and that’s what makes it so much more special. It’s the combination of mutual sadness and desperation, the hint of rage still brewing somewhere deep inside the both of you. He knows your body, the way it will arch when he pushes you all the way down onto the bed. The tiny gasps when he starts kissing your neck. The way you look away when he starts kissing all the way down your body. ‘’Please keep looking at me, dear. I want you to see how much I am going to miss you.’’ It’s enough to make your heart flutter, the way he starts to attack your core with his tongue right away. It’s obvious he is in a hurry, but even with all the sadness, it’s the best way there is. You can’t help your moans; You’re lucky his room is soundproof. He’s fast, maybe too fast, but with everything that’s going on, it’s the best you can get. And that’s what it is. The best, because within a few minutes you can feel yourself starting to reach that point. The knot in your stomach tightens. your hands end up in his hair and with one loud moan, you erupt around him.

‘’I know that Mammon claims he was your first… in multiple ways… and not to discredit my brother, but I intend to be your last in all of them.’’ He says as he looks at you while he licks his lips. Him saying those words, the way he just made you lose your mind. It feels good, after all the fighting, teasing, kisses and losses , you’re with the man you love. You don’t want to ruin the mood. You’re really trying, but the moment you hear yourself thinking about loving him, about leaving him, about leaving his brothers, you just break. The tears start to form in your eyes and as you try to wipe them away you feel something on your arms. Lucifer. His eyes are cold again as he moves up to face you. ‘’Don’t hide your tears. I am just as sad.’’ He takes a long look at you, lets out a sign, and lays next to you as he caresses your back. ‘’I don’t want to play the ‘’Who has it worse’’ game, truly, I don’t want to, but in all the years I’ve been in heaven and hell, you’re the first human to have ever make my blood boil. Both from nerves and anger nonetheless, but losing you. Losing the one that made my family whole, the one that makes me feel all these emotions, the one that I love, hurts.’’ You can’t help but raise your brow. when he notices your expression he lets out a laugh.

You feel his hand grab your chin and suddenly your lips are only inches apart. ‘’I know you love me, Y/n. I’ve always known. Falling for you, was what surprised me.’’ You can’t help, but roll your eyes at him. Trying to ignore the way his hand feels on your back. The way it slowly moves it’s way to your hips. ‘’You know I do love all your brothers quite a lot too…’’ You say with all the confidence you have left. ‘’I know you do, but still I am the one that has you laying here. Practically begging for more.’’ He let’s out a chuckle as he pulls you closer. ‘’Let’s end this conversation, there’s not enough time.’’ And with that he’s on top of you. You know there isn’t much time, but when he starts to unbotton his shirt it’s as if time slows down. Of course he notices your looks and can’t help to give you a sly smirk. ‘’Don’t worry your next.’’ Is all he says as he takes his shirt off and starts tugging on yours. After your shirt is taken off he takes a look at your body and all you see is adoration on his face. ‘’I want to see all of you.’’ It makes your body flutter. ‘’You’re absolutely breathtaking.’’ He whispers. All this praise makes you feel weak. You try to grab his face, but as you put your arms up they fall down. You feel weak. Not because of his words, but something else. You see Lucifers expression change, the adorations is switched to concern, then back to concentration and before you know it he scoops you in his arms and makes you straddle him.

He’s looking at you, but not really. Obviously talking to himself. ‘’He wanted to be sure…’’ And as he says it he’s back. Back to giving you a sad smile. ‘’What’s going on?’’ Is all you let out. Is all you can let out, as you feel your body weighing more and more. He notices you getting weaker, making sure your settled between him and the headboard of the bed, before he speaks again. ‘’I think it’s time… Barbatos must’ve cast a spell… something that gave us a time limit. The probably knew it would be hard saying my goodbyes to you. Now I’m forced to make haste, just to make sure you’re safe.’’ You can’t even respond. You can move, but barely and all you can do is watch as Lucifer grabs his shirt. As he moves away from you, you’re sure of it. No this is not the way we’re going to say our goodbyes. It needs to be on our terms. Of course those words never leave your lips, but with all the power you have you reach out to him and as he looks back you let out a: ‘’No...not like this.’’ And maybe it’s the few words you’ve spoken, or the way your arm is trembling from all the power it takes to hold on to him, but he crawls back to you. His face is right above yours and if it’s not your eyes making it obvious what you want, you’re mouth will do. ‘’Take me…’’ It’s not a lot of words, but with the face you’re making and the fact that you guys were just in the middle of it, it doesn’t take much guessing. You can see that he’s thinking about it, obviously worried for you, but you can see his eyes change the moment it clicks.

His wings ar still there and you wished you could touch them, feel them one last time, but you should be lucky by what you can still get.’’I used to be a rebel, so why not know.’’ He laughs quietly before he lays you flat on your back. ‘’I’m going to take care of you my love, promise me to let me know when it’s too much or when you want to stop.’’ You nod your head and you know that your eyes tell him all he needs to know. How bad you want him, how even when you were able to just talk normally, you would want this goodbye to be said only in silence. His body is hovering over yours, his hand touching your neck, giving you goosebumps. ‘’Does this feel nice?’’ he whispers as his hands move towards your breasts. You can only let out a tiny gasp and that tells him enough. ‘’I wish we had more time…’’ Is all he says as his finger enters your core. The moan that escapes you is loader then the both of you would’ve expected. As he continues to stretch you out with one hand, his other starts to prep his cock. ‘’Wish I could… do that for you.’’ You manage to say. You can’t keep your eyes from him. The way he’s hovering over you. His finger inside of you and the way you can’t do anything except for your stares, moans and gasps. ‘’All I want is to feel you right now, my love.’’

And with that he places the tip right in front of your entrance. He makes sure your faces are only inches apart and as he slowly slides into you, his arms make there way to your sides. He’s holding you as he bottoms out in you and the only thing you can do is let out a long moan. He starts moving slowly, tender, putting all his love in every trust. He’s the only one speaking from time to time. ‘’I love you’s’’ and ‘’You feel so good’ s’’ are filling the room. All that praise, all the love in his eyes. The fact that he’s not only literally hitting all your spots, but also the spots in your mind, is what does it for you. You feel yourself unravel under him. You’re so close, that you start to tear up. Your eyes are filled with tears, mostly because of how good this feels, the fact that you’re making love on stolen time, but also because the time is probably running out soon. Lucifer never increases his speed. When he notices your tears he quickly wipes them away and as his hand caresses your swollen cheek he whispers: Don’t cry, my love, let us enjoy these last moments.’’ And just as he is about to give you a kiss on the lips you whisper a soft ‘’Love you Lucifer.’’ You notice his eyes being red as well and it’s devastating, but it feels so good. the way he keeps a steady pace has you reaching your peak and these final ‘’I love you’s’’, the final kisses is all you need to feel yourself tightening around him. He’s close too, because the moment he feels you tighten around his cock he gives you one firmer stroke and that’s all he needs to cum inside of you. He falls next to you and quickly takes you in his arms. ‘’I wish we could stay like this forever. I would sell my soul… but I guess in some way my soul has already been sold.’’ And all you can do is give him a sad smile before your eyes close.

Lucifer knew that it was time. You were starting to feel cold, too cold. After putting on some clothes and making sure you were fully clothed, he grabbed the coin Barbatos had given him. ‘’Use this before the time runs out.’’ So he had warned him for the curse. He knew he couldn’t be mad at his friends. He couldn’t be mad at you, he could only blame himself. He had shown his weakness by loving you. But you loved his brothers, loved him, despite all he stood for, without any shame. And even with the way it felt like he was going to lose you forever, it still meant the world he had the honor of getting to know you. The moment the coin was thrown a portal started to form and as he grabbed your cold body the darkness swallowed the two of you. As he opened his eyes he saw nothing, but darkness. It took a few minutes to notice that he was in a room. It must’ve been yours, because he noticed a picture of you next to a bed. He was going to take the picture, he was a rebel after all. As he tucked you in, he was at a loss for words. So all he could do was give you one last kiss on the forehead. Not being able to stop the tears falling from his eyes. ‘’Goodbye, my love…’’ and as the darkness was about to swallow him, he couldn’t help but leave one more thing behind. A raven feather, just for good measure. Returning to the Devildom was going to be almost as hard as leaving you here. He was once again going to be the villain in yet another story… the story of how he lost you.

You wake up to sunlight. Too much of it. Why aren’t your curtains closed? Wait, you have to get out of bed, it’s your turn to cook for everyone. Everyone? You live by yourself… right? It feels like you had a weird dream, but you can’t remember it. All you feel is sadness. As if you’ve lost something or someone important. The pain hits you so hard that the moment you try to stand your legs give out and you lay on the ground as tears fill your eyes. It hurts, but you don’t know why. As your hands try to find some grip to get up, you feel something soft. A feather. A raven black feather. It’s weird, but it feels comforting. Before you can help yourself, your lips are already on it and even when you should be grossed out by it, you plan to cherish the little trinket...

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