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loudstan · 2 years

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New Town, New Me

Summary: Jaemin can't understand why his destined mate has been marked by another werewolf.

Pairing: Werewolf! Jaemin x Witch! Female reader

Warnings: smut, some angst, Jaemin has a breeding kink but what's new

“New town, new me,” you murmured for the tenth time this week.

You moved to a new city about a month ago, thinking a clean start was right what you needed after your last breakup. Some may say you were being too dramatic, like, who would leave the city entirely just to avoid seeing your ex?

You. 100%.

You would quit your job, sell all your shit and move to the other side of the country if that meant you didn’t have to see that dick (and his dick) again. After all, the only reason you were living in the capital city before was because he asked you to…and of course you had said yes! You were engaged, after all.

Did that matter anymore? It was all over now. There was nothing left for you there. The man who had promised to love you was head over heels for somebody else, you had never liked your job anyways, and the few friends you had made were your ex’s friends too. Staying would only make you more depressed.

Plus you always wanted to live by the seaside.

But not even the calming ocean scent could make you feel better after another day of not landing a job. You had been living off your savings for almost two months now and if you didn’t get a job soon, you would have to move in with your parents in your hometown. That wasn’t an option.

You loved your parents. You really did. But they had been so worried about you ever since they heard about the engagement gone wrong, and it had been hard to convince them you would be fine on your own. You remember how much you argued when you told them you were moving to the capital with your boyfriend, how they kept telling you it was an important decision and to take things slow… oh, how right they were. When you told them you were dumped, you were expecting them to say “I told you so”, but they were so incredibly supporting and kind, assuring you you would find the right person for you one day, and that they would be there for you whenever you wanted to talk.

But you really didn’t want to talk. At least not about it. It was embarrassing.

Moving in with your parents would mean that you wouldn’t be able to escape their interrogation.

You would also have to explain the peculiar mark on your neck.

“New town, new me,” you repeated. Now the eleventh time of the week, still staring at the sea that looked blurry and unrecognizable due to the tears that kept distorting your vision. You had been crying for hours, from when the sky displayed a beautiful blend of orange and red until now; the sky and everything around you was dark as your fingers dug into the sand and the sound of the waves breaking became louder, making the headache you got for crying so much worse.

You sniffed and blew your nose into your sleeve, not caring how gross it was, before standing and trying to get the sand off your body, which inevitably stuck to your skin and clothes. You let out a frustrated groan as you started walking away from the shore and into the barely illuminated city streets which after all this time you still couldn’t recognize. Your place should be somewhere around and you would be able to find it easily if only the battery of your phone wasn’t dead.

A chill ran down your spine at the possibility of being lost in the middle of the night in a city where you knew no one. Your heart beat faster and you accelerated your steps, even though you had no idea where you were going, until you saw a little store that still had the lights on and sprinted towards what seemed to be your only chance to ask for help.

You reached the store just when the lights went out and a man stepped out, locking the door.

“E-excuse-,” you tried to speak while catching your breath.

“We’re closed,” the man hummed without even sparing you a glance.

“But I-,” you insisted desperately.

“Come back tomorrow,” he said monotonously, his broad back still the only thing you could see as he put the keys of the store in his pocket and started walking away. “Working hours are from 9:00 A.M. to 9:00 P.M on weekdays, until 6:00 P.M. on Saturdays, and we don’t open on Sundays nor National Holidays,” he continued reciting like he was a customer service answering machine without a care for what could happen to you.

You bursted out crying. Not quietly sobbing like in the beach before, but ugly loud crying, in the middle of the street.

This seemed to finally get the man’s attention, who turned around to look at you for the first time and gasped audibly. If it wasn’t for your tears you would have been able to see the conflict in his face; he looked like he had discovered the most valuable of treasures, his eyes shining excitedly but at the same time his brows furrowed in concern at your distressed state.

“H-hey…It’s okay,” he stuttered nervously, taking the keychain out of his pocket and fighting with the door lock. “We’re still open-it’s okay!” He finally managed to open the door and quickly turned the lights on before motioning for you to come in. “W-what do you need? I’ll give you a d-discount-fuck, don’t cry, I’ll give it to you for free, okay?”

You weren’t even listening to him, too consumed by your own misery, letting it all out after almost two months of solitude in a strange place.You cried louder, hiccuping and breathing with difficulty, much to the man’s dismay, who just couldn’t find the right words to comfort you. So he stopped talking and embraced you in a firm hug instead.

You stopped crying immediately, shocked at the stranger’s arms surrounding you and pulling you into his chest without hesitation. As if the situation wasn’t already weird enough, you soon felt something funny; a warm sensation traveling from your chest to the rest of your body. It made your head void of all thought, your fingers tingle, and a weird excitement started to grow in your stomach. It felt pleasurable.

“Oh…” was all that left your mouth as your confused body tried to adapt to the feeling. Could it be some type of spell? “W-what-”

“Shh…,it’s nothing bad, ” he whispered reassuringly. “It will make you feel better. Just let it happen…”

You let out a shaky breath as you melted in his arms. It felt so good. He could be a serial killer and you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Your life was already shitty anyways, so if you were going to die, then at least you got to feel good before.

“Now, how about we go inside and you tell me all about it?” the stranger purred, his voice hypnotizing you while one of his hands caressed your hair cautiously. “I’m a great listener.”

You nodded mindlessly, letting him guide you inside the small store. You would say yes to anything he asked from you right now, especially when you finally caught a glimpse of his gorgeous face.

You took a proper look at the store and realized what type of place it was: an apothecary; where people could buy all types of ingredients used for medicine and potions alike. You felt nostalgic; you always enjoyed potion making in school and even pursued it as a major for a few years. You would have graduated if your ex hadn’t convinced you to drop out and move to a different city with him. You cringed at your own stupidity and sighed, letting the man walk you past the counter and countless shelves with products until you reached a wooden door at the back of the store. When he opened the door you saw a small but comfy room with a small table, a couple of chairs, a sofa, and something that looked like an improvised kitchen.

“It’s not much, but it’s better than standing in the cold outside,” he murmured as he sat you down on the sofa and walked towards the kitchen cabinets. “Do you drink coffee?”

“...Yeah,” you croaked while you took a proper look at his figure; he was tall and muscular, the sweater he was wearing doing nothing to hide the firm muscles of his arms. He had both a killing body and a pretty face? Whoever he ended up marrying was one lucky person for sure; and for a moment you spaced out and found yourself imagining it was you, and you were sitting in the living room of your house while he prepared dinner.

You shook your head, weirded out at the ridiculous thought, and decided to blame it on him for looking so good while doing something so domestic.

“Here,” he said, offering you a warm mug with coffee which you gladly took in your hands. “Sorry, I don’t have milk or sugar…I-uh, normally like it dark.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him, taking a sip of the bitter liquid. You would usually prefer something sweeter, but just the fact that he made this for you made you feel a bit warm inside already.

This man himself had some type of calming effect on you and as soon as he dragged a chair and sat in front of you, you found yourself telling him all about your worries while your phone was charging. You told him you had moved to town almost two months ago, but that you couldn’t find a job and didn’t know anyone so it was hard to make friends. He listened attentively, nodding and speaking when the time was right and asking some questions when needed. He was indeed a good listener.

“Sorry I took so much of your time…,” you finally said.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said immediately, drinking from his own mug. “I had no plans, anyways.”

“I find it hard to believe,” you snorted.

“Oh? Why is that?” he quirked an eyebrow at you curiously.

“I mean,…it’s Friday night. I’m sure you had a party to attend…a girlfriend to see…” you murmured the last part knowing it was none of your business, but you were still dying to know.

“Nope,” he answered, staring at his now empty mug. “None of that.”

“There’s no way you’re single!.”

“Why is it so hard to believe?”

“You’re hot-,” you blurted out and immediately clasped your hand over your mouth. “Oh god, I’m so sorry…I never speak like this to strangers, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today-”

“Jaemin,” he said.

“What?”

“My name is Jaemin,” he repeated and gestured his hand towards you, indicating it was your turn to introduce yourself.

“O-oh, right… I’m Y/N,” you said timidly.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” he gave you a smile that would charm every human on Earth as he leaned forward. “Now that we’re not strangers anymore, is it okay for me to say that you’re incredibly hot too?”

You gasped, blushing to the point your ears were hot. But just as fast, you felt your heart stop and your hands go cold when you noticed the red glim in his eyes as he eyed you up.

“Y-you’re a w-werewolf…” you breathed out, your chest rising and falling unevenly.

“I won’t hurt you,” he quickly assured you, his heart aching at the sudden repudiation coming from you. He placed his mug on the table and raised his hands up,trying to look as harmless as possible. “We are not as violent as people think- oh…, but I guess I’m not the first werewolf you encounter,” he mumbled when his eyes finally noticed a scar on your neck.

You quickly fixed your scarf to cover the mark, but it was too late.

“You’re mated,” he said dejectedly, his eyes glossy as he stared at your neck even though it was now covered. “B-but it can’t be…”

You both sat in silence. He seemed to be having an internal battle while you reprimanded yourself for carelessly flirting with yet another werewolf.

“How long have you been together?” Jaemin asked, his demeanor changing drastically as he offered you a polite smile.

“A while,” you lied for two reasons; the first one being that the truth was embarrassing and the second that you didn’t want him to think he had a chance with you. No matter how attractive he was, you wouldn’t get involved with a werewolf again.

“That’s great,” he said through gritted teeth. “So you guys moved here together, right?”

“Y-yeah…” you stuck to your lie.

Jaemin stared at you intently as if he was trying to decipher some secret message behind your words. “I may not look like it, but I’m quite a romantic,” he chuckled dryly, lying back on his chair to offer you an inviting view of his thighs. “I really enjoy listening to genuine love stories… So how did you two meet?”

“It wasn’t that romantic ” you said, trying to sound calm while remembering such painful events. “He visited my hometown during vacations and got lost, so he approached me in the street to ask for directions, but ended up blurting out that I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen…,” you half laughed, half scoffed. “Love at first sight, I guess…”

“...What did it feel like?” Jaemin asked after nodding slowly.

“Good? I guess? Everyone likes being complimented, right?” you shrugged. “It was cute.”

Jaemin tilted his head. “...Cute?”

“Yeah, adorable,” you confirmed.

“Did you just call the pull cute?” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“The what-?” you asked dumbly.

“The pull, Y/N,” he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his thighs and resting his chin on his hands. “The feeling that tells you someone is your mate and doesn’t let you stay away from them? Of course you know about that, being mated to a werewolf and all…”

“R-right,” you lied. “I know,” you said, but you did not know a thing about this so-called pull. Your ex simply told you he imprinted on you and you were so flattered that you believed him without questioning it, developing feelings for him later on.

“Then it has to be more than just cute,” he insisted on making you say something more elaborate. “Maybe you felt something warm in your entire body? Sudden tranquility, like nothing mattered as long as that person was there? Hands hurting to hold that person closer, so close until you can only feel each other? Or maybe…” his hand reached slowly until his fingertips barely grazed your abdomen and his voice dropped an octave. “...a boost of desire right here?”

You could do nothing to conceal the embarrassing mewl nor the way your body visibly shivered. Jaemin was talking like he knew the feeling very well; like he had felt it very recently. More importantly, he was describing exactly what you felt when he hugged you outside the store… could it be-? No, no way…

Was he suggesting that you were his mate?

Judging by how thrilled he looked by your reaction to his words and touch, that was exactly what he was thinking. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, picking up a scent that your human nose couldn’t, and then he licked his lips, his own body shivering

“Yeah?” he whispered darkly. “Sounds familiar?”

“I-I felt just like t-that,” you admitted shamefully, but were quick to gain some self control and elaborate your lie further. “With my boyfriend.”

Jaemin’s eyes snapped open, as red and bright as before. The way his jaw clenched let you know he wasn’t happy with that answer.

“I bet,” he muttered, forcing another smile. “Must be nice.”

“It sure is,” you affirmed.

Just when he opened his mouth to say something else, your phone buzzed from the corner where it had been charging. Thankfully, your survival mode had activated and you were quick to use the opportunity as a way to escape. You stood up and went to grab your phone, entering your password to find a message from your mom.Perfect timing!

“That 's him!,” you said with a relieved tone, talking about your imaginary boyfriend. “I should go, he must be so worried.”

“Took him long enough,” Jaemin said, failing to hide the slightly sarcastic tone, looking at the clock on the wall and standing up as well. “Why isn’t he coming to pick you up?”

“No need, I live nearby,” you confessed now that you were looking at the map on your phone. “I’m gonna uh-..go,” you said hurriedly as you made your way to the door, followed by Jaemin, who just nodded in silence. When you stepped outside the store, you found yourself already longing for his touch and you cursed yourself.

“Jaemin,” you called, your heart throbbing when his sad eyes met yours. “Thank you.”

His eyes lighted up and stared at you, tongue-tied as you mumbled a short goodbye and walked away.

“Y/N!” you heard him yell after a few seconds, and turned around just in time to see him jogging towards you. He stopped when he was in front of you, moving his hands towards your body but changing his mind and crossing his arms instead. “T-the store…I, uh- We’re hiring.”

“Huh?”

“You said you needed a job, right?” he rubbed the back of his neck. “We need help at the apothecary. The owner is an old man and he’s taking a break because of his health. I do everything myself, so he told me I could, like-hire someone to help or…,” he mumbled nervously, losing track of the main point. “Anyways, maybe you’re interested?” he asked hopefully.

You were very interested! It was like a miracle! A job being offered to you out of nowhere? It felt like destiny…

Destiny. Just like a wolf’s mate. You shook the idea out of your head immediately; if you took the job, you would spend most of your time with this dangerously attractive werewolf. Was that a good idea?

“I’ll think about it…,” you finally said.

“Y-yeah okay,” Jaemin nodded, biting his lower lip anxiously. “Take your time.”

That happened about two weeks ago and you hated to be thinking about his offering so seriously, but when you checked your bank balance you understood you were in no position to be picky anymore. You needed a job, any job, now.

That was the only reason you were now standing outside the apothecary now. Not because you couldn’t stop thinking about Jaemin. Definitely not because your chest ached whenever you mentally scolded yourself, repeating you wouldn’t see him again.

You took a deep breath in and walked inside the store, greeted with Jaemin’s tired expression; he looked pale, slightly thinner and there were dark circles under his eyes. As soon as he saw you he let out a relieved sigh and a soft murmur that sounded like ‘you’re finally here’ and walked around the counter, towards you. When he was close enough, he rested his head on your shoulder and whimpered, shocking you for the second time at how easily he touched people he wasn’t close with.

“Y/N,” he breathed out pathetically, at the verge of tears. “Please tell me you’re here to take the job- I… I can’t do this.”

“W-what’s wrong?” you asked, repressing the gratifying sensation consuming your body at the physical touch you had been craving for weeks.

“Need you here, please.,” he mumbled drowsily and cursed under his breath at the scent he had been missing.

He was talking about the job. He had to be talking about the job.

“I-uh, I can try?” you offered and he immediately lifted his head.

“Really?” he asked.

“Yeah, I mean- You need help and I need a job, so…”

“Can you start today?” he asked instantly, almost desperately.

“...Don’t you want to read my CV first? Or interview me?” you inquired, offering him a folder with your printed information inside.

“O-oh, yeah of course,” he opened the folder and flipped to the limited pages of your CV. You shifted uncomfortably, almost sure he would be disappointed at your lack of job experience. “You majored in potion making?” he asked, raising his eyebrows, displaying an impressed look.

“I didn’t finish,” you admitted humbly.

“Me neither,” he hummed. “I was studying to become a healer, but tuition was ridiculously expensive. I’m hoping I can save enough to go back to school after a year or so.”

Jaemin asked you a few more questions and explained all you needed to know about salary and working hours, before he started showing you how everything worked at the store. The more time you spent with him, the more attractive and charming he seemed and you were having a hard time controlling your breathing whenever he would lean in closer to you to help you reach a top shelf or show you how to look for products on the computer.

Just when you were wondering how you were going to survive something caught your eye. On one of the back shelves, there was a bright pink little jar, accompanied with a handwritten sign which said ‘Venom; Magenta Dwarf Snake’. You were familiar with that ingredient; it could be lethal, but if used wisely and mixed with the right botanicals and oils, you could create a strong numbing potion. You knew it first hand; when you were a freshman in university, someone very important to you passed away during your finals week. You were devastated, but at that time you were so invested in having a good career that you didn’t have time to grieve. So instead, being the talented potion maker you were, you stole some ingredients from the laboratory and made your own diy numbing potion. It worked almost immediately, replacing the pain with nothingness; in fact, you felt absolutely nothing for as long as the effect lasted and you kept drinking the potion until your exams finished.

It wouldn’t hurt to numb your body a bit if that helped you resist Jaemin’s charm while finding a different job. Honestly, you had never felt such a strong desire for anyone; your pulse was fast, your brain could barely function, and your knees would get weak whenever he said your name. You were terrified. What if he really had imprinted on you?

No.That whole wolves mating with humans thing was bullshit. You wouldn’t fall for that again.

But by the time your shift was over and Jaemin bid you goodbye,your silly heart already protesting at the idea of separation, you knew you couldn’t resist him. At least not naturally.

Luckily, you had managed to slide one of the tiny pink jars in your pocket. So when you showed up for work the next day your pulse was so stable you could barely feel it, the serenity that took over you was almost monotonous and no butterflies tickled your belly when Jaemin smiled at you.

“Need some help over here?” he asked you when he saw you standing on your tippy toes to reach a shelf, standing very close behind you, until you could feel his breath on your neck.

“Nope. I’m good,” you replied without even acknowledging the invasion of your personal space.

Jaemin was taken aback for a second. He couldn’t pick up any trace of nervousness, nor could he smell the sweet scent of desire that you wouldn’t be able to hide whenever he got close to you. It was completely different to what he experienced the day before, and he didn’t like it. So he decided to step up his game.

“You sure?” he insisted, his fingers tracing your arms playfully, which backfired, making his own pulse accelerate. “Wouldn’t want my pretty assistant getting hurt.”

“I’ll be fine,” you said, breaking away from his touch and moving to organize the next shelf, leaving a stunned Jaemin behind.

And just like that, months of you working at the apothecary passed and you found it was incredibly easy to work with Jaemin when you couldn’t feel a thing.

Jaemin, however, seemed frustrated and unsatisfied with each of your interactions. You weren’t mean to him or anything; you were polite and kind, but there seemed to be no emotion in your eyes and that tormented him everyday.

He had tried to have deeper conversations with you, but you avoided him every time, or gave him short and vague answers. He wasn’t even trying to flirt with you anymore; he understood that you had a mate and were not interested in him, but he still wanted to be close to you. Just when he thought there was no hope for him, mother nature stepped in to help.

“Y/N, just go home!” he sighed exasperatedly. “I don’t want you here when the typhoon hits; it’s dangerous.”

“I’m good,” you shrugged. “How bad can it be? Besides today we were supposed to receive the ingredients we orde-”

You were interrupted by a loud noise coming from outside; something that sounded like thunder mixed with heavy winds and some distant screams.

“I don’t think the order will arrive today…,” he pointed out.

You bit your lip, starting to feel just a tiny taste of anxiety building up. The truth was, you were out of numbing potion. You had drunk the last bit in the morning and you could feel it wearing off, so you really needed that order to arrive today and you needed to be there to receive it.

“It’s too late to go home now anyways,” you sighed as you both approached the door to peek outside.

“I guess we’ll both be staying here until it calms down,” he hummed and proceeded to secure all the doors and windows.

“Both of us?!” you yelped, suddenly very aware of how bad the situation was.

Jaemin looked at you, surprised at what was the first trace of emotion he had been able to detect coming from you in a while. “Uh-yeah?”

“I-I don’t think it’s that bad yet,” you tried to argue and thinking that if you weren’t going to get your potion today, then it was better to go home than being stuck with Jaemin. “I’ll just run home,” you declared, grabbing your jacket and heading to the door, but a strong grip on your arm stopped you.

“J-jaemin-,” you pleaded as you started to feel abnormally warm where his skin touched yours.

“Oh, so now you want to leave?” he asked in disbelief. “You should have listened to me before. It’s too dangerous now. I won’t let you go out there,” he said, pulling you closer to him with ease.

Miraculously, you suppressed the whine that his words caused, but you couldn’t hide the effect he had on you for much longer.

“What’s gotten into you today?” Jaemin asked, concerned. “Are you not feeling well?”

“I’m f-fine! I’m good I just need to-gotta lie d-down,” you mumbled and regretted it immediately when he curled his toned arms around you and picked you up, carrying you to the back room. “J-jaemin, I can walk!”

“You can’t,” he debated. “You think I didn’t see the way your legs trembled?”

You groaned and he finally laid you down on the sofa, staring at you curiously when you immediately put your shaky hands on his shoulders and tried to push him away. He stood up slowly and walked towards the kitchenette.

“I’ll make you some coffee,” he offered, reaching for the milk and sugar that he kept in there ever since he learned your drink preference. You said nothing, your breath starting to pick up its pace.

Jaemin offered you the mug but you scurried further away in the couch as if you were terrified of him.

“Okay, Y/N, you’re scaring me…,” he murmured, starting to panic at your agitated state.

“A-away-,” you whimpered. “J-just stay away, p-please.”

Jaemin moved to the other side of the room obediently, placing the mug on the kitchen counter. It pained him that you didn’t want him near you, but he hated seeing you so disturbed.

When you were sure he was far enough, you reached for your purse and clumsily took out your homemade potion jar.Maybe there was some potion remaining at the bottom? Even if it was one drop, you needed it. But your hands were sweating and shaking and it fell from your hands, rolling on the floor all the way to Jaemin’s feet. You gasped, but it was too late; Jaemin had grabbed the flask and was glaring at it suspiciously.

“What is this?” he asked you sternly.

“J-jaemin, give it back,” you begged.

“What.is.this?” he insisted, his tone harsh.

“Medicine! It’s m-medicine, I need it-,” you mumbled but you wouldn’t be able to fool someone with that much knowledge about potions and medicine.

“With this scent?” he asked, sniffing at the flask. “I don’t think so,” he said as he opened it and hit the bottom of the jar until a single drop landed on his finger. Without hesitation, he placed his finger on the tip of his tongue and waited for a few seconds, before his eyes landed on you again, reprimanding you silently.

“Numbing potion,” he said. “How long have you been drinking this?”

You shook your head and looked away, afraid of the effect his eyes only had on you.

“A few days? Weeks?” he insisted, growing more concerned each second.

You squeezed your eyes closed and refused to give him an answer, but he was clever enough to put two and two together.

“It’s been months, hasn’t it?” he asked fearfully. “W-why?! Do you know how dangerous it is?”

“I’ve had it before,” you defended yourself. “I know what I’m d-doing,”

“For this long?!”

“N-no, but…”

“Y/N this is meant to be used very short term! Once you stop drinking the potion, you’ll feel everything you were repressing at once-are you insane?!”

“I know!” you finally snapped. “But I needed it okay?”

“What could be so bad that it made you not want to feel anything?!” he asked exasperatedly.

Again, you didn’t say anything. As if you could admit that you needed a potion so you wouldn’t be on your knees for Jaemin every time you saw him.

“Is it your boyfriend?” he asked angrily, even though he hated even bringing him up.

You shook your head and sobbed a little.

Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows.

“Are you sure? Because something about this relationship is definitely off,” he walked towards you slowly, ignoring your pleads for him to stay away. “He has never picked you up from work, never calls you, hell I can’t even smell him on you.”

You stood up with difficulty and hid behind the sofa, your figure trembling against the wall as Jaemin got closer to you.

“Does he not treat you well?” Jaemin insisted, his instincts telling him to protect you from whoever was hurting you. “Y/N, tell me, I’ll kill him-”

“THERE’S NO BOYFRIEND!” You finally yelled.

Jaemin stopped moving and stared at you wide-eyed. You pulled your hair and groaned.

“...What? B-but your neck-”

“My ex,” you confess, and it feels like it lifted a weight off of you. “He told me I was his mate and I believed him because I didn’t know shit about werewolves, and then one day he tells me he was just confused and he had met his real mate and he fucking ‘apologised for the missunderstanding’,” you made quotation marks with your fingers and scoffed the last words with a very poor imitation of what your ex’s voice sounded like. “That fucking- ugh! But that was way before I moved here. I’m over that asshole,” you groaned.

Jaemin couldn’t comprehend a single thing you were saying. It was too much, too fast.

“Then why were you drinking th-?” he asked dumbfounded.

“Because of you!” you whined. “You and your pretty face, and your charming smile, your smooth voice, your fucking hot body- just- you! You make me feel so weird and want to bounce on your dick as soon as I see you- so fucking annoying!”

Jaemin’s mouth hung open in shock and confusion. He then chuckled humorlessly and poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, shaking his head.

“Come here,” he ordered.

You shivered and felt dizzy at the command, but refused to give in. “N-no.”

“You can’t say all that shit and expect me to control myself, Y/N,” he growled. “Come here.”

“I don’t wanna be m-mated to you,” you argued.

“So you knew,” he whispered. “You knew I imprinted on you,” Jaemin’s eyes were gleaming maliciously now. He was furious.

“So what?” you defied him even though you were dying to kiss him, your feelings getting more intense than ever. “You could just be confused too. Your feelings can change just like his-”

Jaemin snarled and hastily reached for you, firmly grabbing your hands and pinning them to the wall.

“Don’t compare me to that piece of shit,” he threatened. “We are not the same. We don’t feel the same. And whatever you felt for him, doesn’t even come close to what I’m about to make you feel.”

You wanted to fight it, but you were overwhelmed with emotions. Now that the potion was wearing off, everything you had been keeping in was consuming you. You were craving Jaemin more than anything.

“Understood?” Jaemin hummed almost sweetly against your lips, but the promise of a threat was still there so you nodded. “Good. Now we’re going to ride out the side effects of your stupid choices together, hm?”

Before you could answer, he was kissing you harshly, releasing all the pent up desire that he had to repress because of you. He bit your lip, and slid his tongue into your mouth, moaning at the wet sensation mixed with your little whines. He pressed his body against you, his firm pecs rubbing your nipples and you broke away from the kiss, moaning loudly.

“Oh? But I haven’t done anything yet, have I?” Jaemin teased you. “Is this because of that dumb potion you took?”

You bit your lip, but more moans came out of you as Jaemin slid his thigh in between your legs and flexed it a little.

“Yeah, you like that?” he panted against your lips. “Is my baby sensitive?”

You nodded and tried to stand on your tippy toes to put some distance between his thigh and your center but he grasped your hips and pressed you harshly against him again, making you moan desperately.

“Nuh-uh,” he warned. “My baby drank something bad, yeah? The only way to feel better is to let it all out.”

“J-jaemin, please,” you begged, pushing your now free hands against his chest. “It’s too much.”

“But you’re sick, Y/N,” he cooed with a fake sweet tone as he forced you to ride his thigh. “We need to treat it as soon as possible to make you feel better.”

“T-too hot,” you complained. The air was getting suffocating and your body was taking revenge for all the time you had it on autopilot mode.

“Oh, poor thing,” he uttered as he started unbuttoning your shirt. He successfully unbuttoned the first three buttons before he lost his patience and ripped it open, the remaining buttons landing somewhere on the floor. “Let me help you,” he whispered before he pulled your bra down enough to expose your breasts and used his fingertips to tease your hardened nipples.

“Jaemin! Oh!” you whimpered and squirmed against his hold, trying to run away from the stimulation, but he just laughed at you.

“Why did you stop riding me, Y/N?” he asked like he was reproaching a naughty child’s behavior. His hands went back to your hips and he forced you to move back and forward, rubbing against your clit, while he used his mouth to toy with your nipples instead. “You need to start listening to me if you want to get better.”

“B-but it’s-ah! Feels too-,” you gasped at the recognizable feeling of an orgasm starting to build up, you tried to push him away again, feeling like it was too much and not enough at the same time, but your strength couldn’t compare to his and he hummed around the nipple he was sucking at the way your body trembled and moved you faster against him, bouncing his knee slightly until you tensed in his arms and you let out the most alluring moan he had heard so far.

He kept moving your lax body to ride out your orgasm, enjoying the warmth coming from you, and before you had any time to recover, he slid one of his hands under your skirt and into your panties, groaning and cursing at how wet you were.

You winced and tried to squirm away when he stroked your clit and he chuckled against your lips, kissing you sweetly but firmly.

“Too sensitive?” he asked as if your answer mattered at this point.

“Y-yes,” you hissed, still trying to push him away.That first orgasm had helped clear your mind a little, but you still felt incredibly affected by Jaemin. “No more.”

“Mmm,” he pouted as he pretended to think about your petition. “But I can’t stop now, Y/N. I’m doing this to make you feel better, but I also have to punish you.”

“P-punish me?” you asked apprehensively.

“Of course. You’ve been bad,” he replied as if it was obvious. “That first orgasm was for drinking something bad for your body,” he said as he kissed your cheek. “The next one will be for stealing shit from the store,” he continued as his mouth traveled down your jaw. “And all the others will be for every fucking lie you’ve said to my face.”

You shivered, intimidated and shook your head, your eyes pleading that he let you rest and you could talk about everything later.

“But first,” he said, licking at your neck. “I need to get rid of this mark. It makes my blood boil.”

“NO!” you yelled, hitting his arms and chest. It wasn’t your weak attack what stopped him; but the pure terror in your voice.

“Y/N?” Jaemin called your name tenderly, caressing your hair carefully and removing his knee from its previous position to give you some space. “Did he-...did it hurt when he bit you?”

You nodded quickly. “S-so much…bled for so long- still h-hurts sometimes.”

Jaemin cursed under his breath, adding something that sounded like ‘I’ll fucking kill him.’

“Y/N,” he called again. “Baby,” he added to make you finally look at him. “It hurt because he tried to force a bond with someone who wasn’t meant for him and your body rejected it,” he explained delicately. “I am not him. I won’t hurt you.”

“B-but if you bite me, it will hurt,” you sobbed.

“It won’t. Because we are already connected. The bite just seals the deal.”

“...You promise?” you asked, apprehensively.

“I promise,” he said, eyes landing on your neck as he licked his lips. “Actually, I’ve heard that it feels quite…delightful.”

You shuddered under his predatory stare and he groaned in anticipation. You closed your eyes and waited for him to fulfill his promise but the stinging pain never came; instead you felt his warm fingers under your skirt and sliding your panties down slowly. Your eyes snapped open and looked down to see Jaemin kneeling in front of you, discharging your panties somewhere on the floor and moving his hands up your thighs slowly.

“Jaemin?”

“Hmm?” he asked, placing an open kiss on your inner thigh.

“Aren’t you going to b-bite me?” you panted as his wet kisses came closer to your pussy.

“Oh, I will,” he purred before placing a slow, wet kiss right on your clit, making you moan. “But I want you to relax first.”

“H-how am I supposed to-ooh!” you sighed when he ran his tongue up and down your slit slowly, his red eyes staring back at you. He made out with your pussy lazily, moaning against you and creating patterns with his tongue until your legs were trembling and your hips moved against his face, looking for more.

“Fuck,” he growled between licks, sliding his tongue into you and fucking you with it just as slow, relishing on the way your walls contracted around the wet muscle. “Taste so fucking good,” he grunted.

“Oh my god, Jaemin,” you moaned needily, rotating your hips and pulling at his hair.

“Yeah? Feels good?” he chuckled before moving back to your clit, giving it teasing licks. “I know it does, baby. Let it all out.”

“S-so good, Jae-oh!” your brows furrowed when his tongue drew circles around your clit faster and you couldn’t help but pull his hair harder in an attempt to feel him as close to you as possible. He moaned and his eyes rolled back, allowing you to rut against him as he sucked on your bundle of nerves viciously. “Jaemin, Jaemin, Jae-ah! Ah! Oh god, Jaem-Aah fuuuck!” you screamed, releasing in his mouth. He grunted against you and continued helping you ride the remains of your orgasm until his body shivered brutally and he let out a moan with his mouth still attached to you, vibrations prolonging your pleasure. You stared at him bewildered when he finally detached himself from you and panted heavily.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his legs trembling slightly when he stood up. “Shit, that was…”

“Did you-...did you just-?” you asked even though the dark stain on his pants made it very obvious; he had come untouched while eating you out.

“Mm, yeah” he mumbled and let out a breathless laugh. “I didn’t even know I could- wow…”

Wow was one way to put it.

“That’s…so fucking hot,” you whispered, dropping on your knees and your hands landed on his jeans, easily unbuttoning it and lowering the zipper.

“Are you sure you want to do that, baby?” Jaemin spoke in a low voice. “You don’t have to,” he insisted even though his eyes were begging you to.

“I want to,” you said, pulling his pants and boxers down hastily. “I really want to” you confessed as you stopped fighting the lust that took over you, followed with a gasp when you found yourself facing his still hard dick. “F-fuck…so big…”

Jaemin dashed an arrogant smirk and opened his mouth, probably to say something teasing but his cocky demeanor was immediately wiped out when your tongue lapped the base of his cock. He couldn’t think of anything clever to say and just stood there breathless, following each of your moves attentively. When you reached the tip and gave it a soft suck, he let out a shaky breath, bending his body slightly over your figure and placing the palms of his hands on the wall for support.

“Are you still mad at me?” you asked suddenly, pouting a little at the idea of upsetting him. Jaemin’s cock twitched in your hand at the view of you on your knees with such an innocent expression, and he almost forgot why he was mad in the first place. Almost.

“I am,” he choked out when you squeezed him in your hand and moved your hand up and down. using his own cum as lubricant. “F-fuck, I- of course I am, Y/N-You made m-me feel like shit for- ohh… for m-months- who even lies about something like that for t-that long? That’s kinda psycho…”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, without stopping the movement of your hand. “I-I was scared…”

Ah shit, Jaemin couldn’t stay mad when you looked like that.

“I k-now you w-were,baby b-but- aaah! shiiit,” he moaned when your mouth was back on his tip. “No more lying- oh!...from now on, kay?”

You hummed and started bobbing your head slowly, taking what you could and jerking the rest off with your hands. His moans were so captivating, it soon made you go faster to listen to as many as you could. Jaemin was slowly losing his mind, abdomen contracting and his hips chasing your mouth involuntarily until your head backed against the wall.

“Yeah, baby- like that, take it j-just like that ah! aah!” he moaned. He rested his forehead against the wall and both his hands traveled down to hold onto each side of your head, like he was afraid you would move away; which was impossible considering you were sandwiched between him and the wall. His hips stuttered and he started fucking into your mouth messily, growling in delight whenever you choked and your throat contracted around him.

“Should I knot your pretty mouth, Y/N?” his sudden question made you look up at him. Something about the way he managed to smile sadistically between pants and the wild glint in his eyes told you he was absolutely serious. “That way no more lies would come out of it, hmm?”

You tried to shake your head and babble incoherent complaints around him but that only brought him more pleasure, his moans escalating and his thrusts speeding up. “Shit, Y/N- you d-drive me crazy, I swear- oooh fuck, fuck-”

You closed your eyes and tried to relax your jaw for whatever was gonna come, but Jaemin pulled away from you abruptly. You opened your eyes and looked up at him questioningly. He simply shook his head, the visible veins bulging in his neck and his heavy breathing showing how hard he was trying to control himself.

“D-did I do it wrong?” you asked, feeling self conscious. Of course, Jaemin was probably used to great sex and mediocre wouldn’t do. You couldn’t even deepthroat him properly-

“No,” he huffed, interrupting your intrusive thoughts. “God, no- but I already wasted a load of cum earlier,” he groaned, before stepping out of his pants and ruined boxers and helping you stand up, guiding you to the couch. The way he sat down and manspreaded nonchalantly was the total opposite of how he carefully brought you closer, situating your legs on each side of his hips and sitting you on his lap. “Wanna cum inside of you,” he declared, before kissing you sensually, leaving no room for discussion.

His hands were all over your body, caressing your body hotly and only separating himself from you shortly to take his shirt off swiftly, while you got rid of your own blouse and bra, leaving you on your wrinkled skirt only.

Jaemin kissed your collarbone and lifted your skirt enough for his cock to make direct contact with your wet pussy, making both of you moan lewdly.

“Hold on tight,” he half teased, half warned you as he grabbed his dick and rubbed it against your pussy lips, collecting your wetness, before pressing the tip into you carefully.

“J-jaemin,” you called him, alarmed.

“Shh… I’m gonna make you mine now,” he hushed you as he proceeded to press more insistently.

“Oh! But-” you tried speaking between moans. “I don’t think it’s gonna f-fit-ngh!”

“Of course it will,” he said almost automatically, mesmerized by the way your pussy sucked his tip in. “We are meant to be together- shit, I- this dick was made for this pussy,” he uttered in between grunts. “Will feel so fucking good.”

He kissed you sweetly as if to distract you from the discomfort. You sighed while he praised you and massaged your clit gently, until he was completely buried inside of you. You moaned erotically at the feeling; not only it had been so long since you last slept with someone, but this was Jaemin, the man you were crazy about since day one, and the side effects of the potion had you feeling every sensation multiplied ten times.

Jaemin’s mouth was hanging open in pleasure as his hands held onto your waist roughly, surely leaving bruises behind, without taking his eyes away from yours.

“See?” he choked out, his voice cracking a little. “Fits like a glove,” he insisted before moving you up slowly and sliding you down again, his eyes fighting to stay open at the feeling.

“So f-fuh…so full,” you muttered, too overwhelmed to talk properly and driving Jaemin crazy.

“Yeah?” he licked his lips, lifting you again and dropping you on his cock harder, eliciting a moan from both of you. “F-feel me deep inside of y-you?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded dumbly, letting him bounce you on his cock. “S-so deep…”

Jaemin was far from the gentleman he wanted to be, he was already so close to his orgasm since you blew him and knew he would cum anytime soon, so he couldn’t help but to be a bit rough with you, lifting you until barely the tip was inside you, before pushing you down firmly. He wanted to hear your moans forever. And he wanted to be the only one.

“I’m still m-mad at you, Y/N,” he suddenly said, taking you out of your pleasurable trance and making you stare at him wide eyed, mumbling soft apologies while gasping and whining. “You gave t-that bastard everything that was supposed to be m-mine only,” he accused, at the same time his cock hit a spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back and shiver.

“S-sorry,” you stuttered while his tip assaulted that special place that had your head spinning. “Ss…so sor-aaah!” you moaned out loud when his fingers found your clit once more and pressed against it harshly, making you reach another orgasm abruptly.

“Mmm, an apology won’t d-do,” he grunted as he made you ride him faster in spite of your sensitive state. “If you w-want me to forgive you, you gotta-aah fuuck,” he tried to keep up his intimidating facade while his member jerked inside of your contracting walls. “You gotta give me-mmm… fuck yes, give me something he didn’t g-get.”

“I- I d-on’t know w-what…” you mumbled unintelligently as he chuckled darkly, bringing you closer to him to whisper something in your ear that made you gasp at the same time he reached another orgasm and came inside of you with an erotic moan. Too distracted by everything that happened at the same time, you didn’t even notice him approaching your neck and biting harshly, covering your previous mark.

You stopped breathing and your heart froze in terror, but the expected pain never came. Insteadyou felt a warm bliss, starting where his lips met your skin and spreading from head to toes. You had never felt something like that; it was a sensation as strong and pleasurable as any orgasm.

“O-oh god,” you panted heavily as Jaemin gave your neck a couple of licks and pulled away to look at you. “We’re m-mated?” you asked incredulously.

“Mhmm,” he purred, kissing your lips tenderly. “Did it hurt?”

“...No,” you admitted, quite surprised.

“Told you,” he said simply. “Now, ready to give me what you owe me?”

“Uh, y-yeah about that…Jaemin-,” you stuttered nervously when you remembered exactly what he had suggested before his orgasm hit.

‘Let me get you pregnant,’ he had whispered hotly against your ear before losing himself in pleasure.

Without even paying attention to your words, Jaemin lifted you from his lap, voicing an annoyed grunt when some of his cum slid down your thighs and mumbling something about ‘knotting you next round’ before he placed you on the couch on all fours and positioned himself behind you, his dick still hard at the thought of breeding you.

“J-jaemin!” you called as he entered you again without hesitation. You looked back at him and he stared at you, giving you the chance to speak. “A-are you sure it’s a g-good idea to-”

“Yes,” he hissed, pulling out and thrusting back into you roughly, making you moan and arch your back more for him. “I think it’s a very good idea.”

“B-but,” you weakly complained while he set a steady rhythm with his hips. “w-we… it’s our f-first ti-aah! t-time together, we- ooh Jaem-aah! We just m-mated- AH!” you yelped when you felt a sharp pain on your ass cheek.

“So?” he asked, giving you another harsh slap and thrusting into you harder. “We could have been doing this for months if it wasn’t for your foolish idea.”

You gasped, a bit offended at his words, but you knew he was right. You had wasted so much precious time and ended up only postponing the inevitable.

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” he whispered against your ear, before placing one of his hand on your neck and the other around your waist, lifting your upper body from the couch to hold you against him, his thrusts reaching deeper inside of you. “I’ll take c-care of you,” he promised with a growl as the base of his cock started expanding and he pistoned harder into you.

Your eyes rolled back when he managed to push his still growing knot inside of you, now moving your hips back into his as he panted animalistically, licking and nibbling proudly at the fresh mark on your neck.

“Shit,” he grunted when one of his hands caressed your lower belly and he felt his dick forming a visible bump repeatedly every time he pushed inside of you. “Shit, b-baby, yes!- gonna-.... gonna fill y-you up so good,” he moaned incoherently, his hips stuttering as he fucked you brutally. “gonna f-fuck you until it t-takes-... make s-sure you’re full of m-me ah! oh fuck, baby, fuck, fuck-!”

He held you against him desperately, making you both lose balance and falling into the couch, him on top of him rutting against you maniacally, all coherent thoughts left his brain to be replaced by the need to impregnate you.

You moaned loudly when another orgasm took over you due to your clit constantly chafing against the material of the couch, tears streaming down your cheek as he cooed at you and licked them, without ever stopping his hips’ movements.

“You’re gonna l-look so fuh-...fucking good, baby oh!” he continued, as his knot inflated enough to keep him in place, limiting him to shallow quick humps. “Everyone w-will know w-who gave it to you t-this good, huh? So full with c-cum and babies- Hah- ah! ah, fuck yes, baby, take it, take it-take it! Oooohh!” he groaned as he finally stilled himself on top of you, releasing what would be a ridiculous amount of cum considering he had already cummed before.

You tried to calm down as Jaemin slowly came back to his senses, kissing your shoulder gently as an apology for his roughness. Not that you were mad about it; you had never felt this good in your life.

“Y/N?” he mumbled, caressing the areas of your body where small bruises were starting to form.

“Hmm?” you vaguely answered.

“No more lies. I mean it,” he meant it to be a warning, but it sounded more like a plea.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated as you let him embrace you and shift your bodies into a more comfortable position. “Jaemin?” you called this time.

“Yeah?” he mumbled sleepily.

“What happens if I do get pregnant?” you didn’t want to ruin the moment, but at some point it had to be addressed.

“...What do you mean ‘if’?” he asked, almost a bit offended. “I will get you pregnant. We still have many rounds to go.”

“M-many rounds-,” you repeated startled. “What?!”

“I told you, didn’t I? One orgasm for each lie you said to my face,” he repeated, kissing the mark on your neck and making you tremble in his arms.

“I-I didn’t tell that many lies!” you defend yourself.

“You said the same lie many times, same thing,” he shrugged. “Plus it’s not really a punishment… or are you going to tell me you didn’t enjoy it?”

You moaned softly when his hands started massaging your breasts, his knot deflating as an indication that things were about to get rough again. You hid a smile as you melted into his touch, allowing yourself to admit that you did enjoy it and that there was more to enjoy for the night and the rest of your lives.

Whoever said moving to a new city wasn’t the solution was so wrong.

#nct drabbles #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct jaemin #jaemin smut #na jaemin smut #na jaemin x reader #na jaemin imagine

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noetnoet · 6 months

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Lifechanger - DEMO

Lifechanger is a 18+ real-life romantic drama where you'll play as a teacher who just started a job at a special school.

Content warnings: explicit language, (possible) mention of child abuse, mental health and (possible) unhealthy relationship.

The content warnings may change!

A few days ago you got a job offer at a pretty famous school, the Smith's Academy. You get a good salary, you live only 20 minutes away from the school, and you get a big starting bonus. Sounds perfect, right? Well, it is not as good as it seems at first.

This school is for troublemakers. The bad ones. Most of the kids are misunderstood, some are born evil and others just have the worst parents who put them in this school for no good reason. They all have one thing in common, they make the school feel like hell on earth. Not only the children will make your life harder, but also some of the adults are quite the challenges. This story focuses on relationships and mental health.

This job will change your life forever, whether it's for the better or the worse will depend on your choices. Welcome to Lifechanger.

Character Customisation. Choose your appearance and gender, and choose one of the 3 backstories. Will you deal with your past or let it consume you?

Play as a teacher. Choose between 3 students you can meet. Change their life for the better or the worse.

Romance. Romance your charming boss, an elegant co-worker, or a sweet mother of one of your students.

Complex Relationships: Everyone has secrets perhaps; someday they will come to light. Can you truly get to know your lover and friends?

See how your actions change the actions of those around you, good or bad. One thing is sure: Your choices matter a lot.

Danny Smith [M]: Your charming boss. At first he looks stoic and cold at first , not kind at least, but in reality he has a hard of gold. He enjoys working with kids and the school is everything to him. Maybe too much for him. He is very social but it looks like he never lets anyone get close. Can you truly capture his heart and get to know him?

Alice Smith [F]: Just like her uncle quiet charming, a bit too confident sometimes but it makes her quite attractive. She is the school psychologist and has helped a lot of children already. But not like Danny she seems to seperate work and life more. She cares for her students that is clear but there is something...sly about her. Can you figure out who she truly is?

Dolores Richards [F]: She is a secret fully. Yes she is kind and looks sweet but there is something about her. She married her husband while she was in college, it all seemed perfect but lately things have changed. Can you help her figure out what she wants?

Lisa: One of your students who is going through something that changes her life forever. Can you help her or will you only drive her further into her depression. [1/3 kid stories you can follow.]

Oliver: The son of Dolores and a student of yours . Although he is dressed well and he gets anything he wants from his parents, the things he needs most are neglected. Can you help Oliver find a way to feel fully loved again?

Jaden: A boy born in a poor family and although not on purpose neglected by his parents. He spends his days in school and at work trying to earn enough for his family. Can you find a way to help him and his family?

Other

Lifechanger is currently a WIP. The demo is at 14K. I am planning on updating every 2-4 weeks with a new chapter, the story will be between 30-40k words long. This is my first story so i’ll be keeping it fully free and i hope to learn a lot from it. Don’t be afraid to give me tips or help with my grammar.

Thank you for reading this!

Demo

Feedback

#if: intro #status: wip #Lifechanger #if #drama #romance #interactive fiction #cog #dashingdon

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restinslices · 26 days

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Everything pt4 (FINALE)

PJO Show Ares x Child!Reader (no gender specified)

Word count: 6772

Summary: It’s been years since you’ve spoken with your father, but with Kronos’ armies marching and the final battle approaching, you have one question on your mind. If you survived this, would it be too late to mend what was broken? Unbeknownst to you, Ares is wondering the same thing. Warnings: Spoilers for The Last Olympian (not too big though), giving Hestia a power idk if she has for the plot, angst, OOC Ares but y’all know this already

You know what sucks more than daddy issues?

The world ending.

Both are seriously draining but the world ending? It was a real bummer. Not only was it a bummer, but it was incredibly confusing. You expected to be actively in battle right now, not being made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich by Luke's mom.

As shady as it sounded, you couldn't understand for the life of you how Hermes had fallen in love with her. She looked as if she had been electrocuted multiple times and the smile she wore reminded you of something you'd see in a horror movie. Looks aside, sandwiches and cookies were rotting in her house and it smelled like something had died. You couldn't see Hermes being here.

“Ms. Castellan” you began as nicely as possible. “I'm not Luke. My friends aren't either. This is Percy, Nico and I'm Y/N. We're…” the people that want Luke dead. No. You couldn't say that. “We're friends of Luke. That's all”. She seemed to understand what you said, even if her eyes told a different story.

“Friends… Friends? Friends with my precious boy…” you almost scoffed. “I'm so glad he has friends. I've always wanted to meet his friends”. She spoke like she was in a dream state and her eyes stayed on you, not blinking once. “You've come for a sleepover? I'd have to talk to your parents first. I need to know if you have allergies! Then your parents and I can also be friends and spend time together! I'm sure I'd like them”.

You forced yourself to keep smiling at her, even if she unknowingly brought up something you were trying desperately not to think about. In 2007 you and your father Ares came to an agreement that it'd be best if you never saw each other again. The year was 2009 and you were still keeping up your side of the deal. You didn't burn offerings for him, you didn't go see him for that field trip, you haven't even uttered his name since then. When you heard about the gods fighting Typhon, you tried not to think about him getting hurt.

You were the one that proposed the deal, yet you immediately regretted it. A part of you thought “good job! You're keeping your peace! Your relationship would've never gotten better anyway!”. The largest part of you kept thinking “but what if you were wrong? What if he changed?”.

You shook your head. Curse your stupid loyalty. You could've turned Nico and Percy down, but Percy pleaded with you to come with him. The last time you become someone's adoptive older sibling…

“Nah, you wouldn't like my dad Ms. Castellan. He's a real hardhead”. She chuckled, which looked insanely creepy because she still hadn't blinked.

“Men tend to be. I'm sure he's still very lovely”. Yeah, if you enjoyed headaches.

Nico took over the conversation and thankfully your familial issues were no longer a topic. Thankfully should be in quotations though, because the conversation quickly turned depressing. May Castellan spoke like she was floating and talked about her son and Hermes as if the last couple of years hadn't happened at all. In your heart, you knew that she either didn't know, or she forgot. You didn't know what happened to her and why she looked like she took a tumble in Wonderland and never escaped, but whatever happened caused her to never see reality the same. You pitied her. Poor woman. Forever making sandwiches for a boy that had grown into a man. An angel that snipped his own wings.

Suddenly she stopped and screamed. You all jumped up and you pushed the two boys behind you. You doubted May Castellan would try to fight any of you, but you wouldn't take that chance.

A glowing green filled her vision and she rasped “My child! Must protect him! Hermes! Help! Not my child! Not his fate! No!”. She grabbed at your shoulders and continued screaming about fates and you pushed her off.

“Guys! Let's get out of here!” You yelled to the boys behind you.

You were prepared to run out of there, but May collapsed and Percy ran to catch her before she could hit the floor.

As quickly as she was screaming about fate and her eyes were glowing, it all stopped. She went back to her version of normal.

“Normal” was a word that really sucked as a demigod because your version of normal would never be what you wanted. What you wished was normal for you was going to school, complaining about teachers, listening to music and playing video games. Your normal was fighting monsters, training, keeping the world from ending and nightmares. When other people's lives diverged from the norm, it was probably something small, like dyeing their hair a neon color. Your version of “well this doesn't always happen” was sitting across from Hestia and listening to her do that thing gods do, where they give you advice in riddles.

The conversation was mainly on Percy, until it wasn’t anymore. Hestia looked over at you and you couldn’t help but feel small under her gaze (which was comical considering she looked like an 8 year old girl), like she was peering deep into your soul in search of something.

In any other circumstance, you would’ve stayed silent. You didn’t have time for more mysteries right now, so you cleared your throat and said “my lady, is there something you want to say?”.

“I just wonder…”

”Wonder? About what? Please, I wanna hear it”

“I wonder whose side you’re on”.

What?

Your brows furrowed. “The gods obviously”.

”Is it obvious though?”. You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. Making an enemy out of Hestia wasn’t on your to do list.

”My lady, may I speak bluntly?”. She nodded. You really wished she didn’t choose the form of a child so you wouldn’t feel so silly. “The world is ending and there’s still so much I haven’t done. I’m stressed out, wondering if I’ll survive the battle-” if your father would care if you didn’t, “-if our efforts will be enough, how many mortals will die, if the gods survive their battle with Typhon. Please don’t add ‘not understanding a riddle’ to my stress. Whatever you’re thinking, just say it”. You could feel Nico shooting you a ‘are you crazy?’ look. How else were you supposed to say it? You thought you were being extremely kind and respectful. The alternative was “English please”.

Hestia looked you over as she thought. “I’ve heard about your conversations with your father”. Yeah sure, let’s bring that up again. Perfect!

You shifted uneasily, not wanting to talk about this anymore. Hestia either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “I wonder why you didn’t side with Kronos”.

You couldn’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes this time. Did she truly think so little of you? “Why would I side with him?”.

”Many of the demigods on his side feel neglected. No doubt you do as well. I wonder what’s the difference between you and them”

“Brains” you answered. “We all have parental issues. You don’t side with a guy like Kronos”

”You think little of those demigods? Think yourself above them?”

“You know what I did when I was angry with Ares?” His name felt strange on your tongue. It’d been so long since you said his name. “I gave myself terrible bangs and wore all black. I stared outside car windows, listened to sad music and imagined myself in a music video. I wrote in a diary that said ‘do not touch or I’ll kill you!’, all in uppercase letters. I didn’t side with a crazy Titan that wants to destroy the world as we know it. Seems a bit extreme, don’t you think?”. She nodded.

“My lady I mean this with respect and love in my heart; what is the point of this conversation?”.

She poked at the fire a bit before answering. “This battle will be a hard one. Perhaps I am buying time and trying to memorize your face in case something goes wrong”. Gee, thanks for all the hope lady.

”If something goes wrong for me, I at least hope everyone else gets a happy ending”

”Your death does not frighten you?” She asked with a raised brow.

”Of course it does” you answered truthfully. “But I can’t let fear stop me from doing what I know is right. You’re the goddess of the home, so you should understand when I say I fight for my home. I don’t think home is just a place though. Home can be people. Percy, Annabeth,

Grover, Nico…” you swallowed, “… my dad. They’re my home. I won’t let my home be hurt without a fight. I’m willing to fight, kill, and die for my home. That’s how much home means to me”.

She smiled. “Spoken like a true child of Ares”. You wish she’d just tell you why she was hassling you in simple words. “But homes can be hectic-“

”My relationship with Ares is hectic but it doesn’t matter”

”You have hope”

”Sounds more like a statement than a question” you mumbled.

You looked at the fire, not wanting to look at (what appeared to be) the child on your ass.

When looking at the flames, for whatever reason you thought of home.

Images flashed in your mind. Images of camp, of laughing campers, of you and Percy giving Sally multiple heart attacks.

Of you and Annabeth debating, you and Grover planting flowers, you and Clarisse training together.

Images of your life flashed quickly, yet it all made sense. You could see everything as if you were there again.

Then the images slowed.

You felt Ares arms as he caught you when you fell from multiple floors up in the mall.

You could smell burgers and fries in the diner and saw him sitting across from you.

You could hear the two of you arguing and your ears started to burn with rage when you suddenly felt his warm embrace. You leaned into him and sighed, feeling his beard against the top of your head. You probably looked ridiculous to everyone else in the diner, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt his warmth and you knew you never would again.

“I love you dad” you said.

You couldn’t believe what you heard next. He said “I love you too” and he genuinely sounded like he meant it. At the time, you thought there was no possible way he could’ve been being genuine.

“He’s gotten good at lying” you thought. “That’s all. He doesn’t care. You’re making things up”.

But what if you were wrong? What if there was a chance?

”I have to have hope” you said out loud. You were too busy looking at memories in the fire and missed Hestia’s satisfied smile.

Hope.

Home.

If you were still alive by the end of the war, you knew you’d have to break your end of the agreement.

You knew you had to go home.

***

Everyone knew war was coming.

The hope for everyone else was that Kronos would never get strong enough to challenge the gods. Hope wasn’t something you could depend on though. You had to actually work, and apparently the gods hadn't done enough.

All the gods, besides one, was nervous. Of course Ares was more excited than nervous, like a child in a candy store. If he had the power to control time, he’d speed this whole thing up so he could be in battle already. The anticipation was killing him.

It was so grim and depressing in Olympus. Everyone was on edge and acting as if this would be their last time seeing each other. Complete and utter bullshit. They were the 12 Olympians for fucks sake! Anyone else there was there for a reason. They’d beat Kronos and his army, then drink to their victory and hug their children.

Hug their children?

“Stop”, he thought. “Not that shit again”.

He didn’t wanna think about children.

He pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance and made his way to a nearby fireplace.

”Ares” Hestia greeted without having to look at him.

“Hestia” he greeted back and sat down next to her on the ground. “Poking at the fire again?”

“What else is there to do?”

“You could be preparing for the battle”. She made a noise of disapproval,

“You know I'm not one for fighting. I am where home is”. He couldn't say he understood it, but whatever kept her happy. Ares wasn't fond of all the gods, but he liked Hestia. She stayed to herself and overall was friendly with everyone. She didn't blab her mouth or make jokes about him and Aphrodite being caught by Hephaestus. She was a breath of fresh air honestly.

Hestia looked over at him and cocked her head to the side. “No” he said before she could get anything out, “don't start asking me questions about feelings and try to dissect me”. Hestia was nice and all, but she always noticed when someone was off, and even if they weren't she'd find a way to make a conversation more deep than it needed to be.

“Ares, the battle ahead will be a difficult one. There's a possibility that you could be destroyed or that your children-”

“Don't”. His voice came out harsh and he shot her a warning look. Unfortunately for him, Hestia was never intimidated by that.

“They can die. Do you think they're keeping their feelings bottled? I doubt it. I hear them whisper their fears around the campfire at camp. They're terrified Ares.”

“How many are terrified?”

“All of them”.

He wished he didn't ask. He should've stayed curious.

Hestia was right. Any of his children could die. Maybe all of them. They all probably whispered to each other in their cabin, trying to comfort each other, and what was he doing? Sitting in Olympus.

He hated that he cared. Ever since his last talk with a particular child, he had been trying to build those walls back up and go back to being his “normal” self. Unfortunately, those cracks seemed to remain and refused to go away. He tried to seal them, but even something as small as a talk with Hestia revealed those cracks again. “They'll be ok” he said although he knew the truth. The truth was that he had no idea what would happen.

“I could deliver a message to them if you'd like”

“There's nothing I can think to say to them”

“Then perhaps you could say something to me. Whatever is on your mind, you can speak and I will listen”.

Ares didn't wanna look at her so instead he looked at the fire in an attempt to ignore her. That proved to be an error when his nose filled with the familiar smell of rain and his ears filled his child's voice.

“To me… to me you were everything. You are everything. “. Your tears mixed in with the rain and you wore a deep frown full of a child's repeated crushed dreams. His heart squeezed tightly for the first time in a while and he hated it. That's when it all started.

Other memories flashed. Memories of him and the other Olympians fighting wars, sometimes with each other.

He saw a time before strict rules and before he vowed to keep himself distant from his children. A time when he mourned them fully and intensely when their final breath passed their lips and their bodies became limp.

He saw the time now and while it was full of distance and misery, he saw his other children. He saw them visiting him and talking about things he didn't care about but listened to anyway. Saw their sad faces and hung heads when they had to leave.

It all went back to you though.

“You want more from the child of Ares?!” You had puffed your chest when you said his name and held your sword tighter. “I have plenty to give!”.

He heard your back and forth snarky comments to each other before the smell of food filled his nose and the conversation went from humorous to angry then sad.

“I don't matter to you. Just admit it so we can move on”. You were so wrong but you said the words with such conviction. You genuinely thought you were right. Was that truly how neglectful he had become? All his children had become strangers and he couldn't blame anyone but himself.

“Seeing you at all, it gives me hope” Was hope so bad to have though?

“You want this?”

“No” you said immediately. He remembers how he was surprised you had been that honest with him. He thought you'd make up a lie and pretend to be extremely confident, but your voice cracked and this time there was no rain to hide your tears. If earlier you wore a frown of repeated crushed dreams, that day your eyes filled with a child's final dream crushed.

But then he felt the both of you hug and he couldn't help but think to himself “Does the dream have to be crushed? Does hope have to be lost?”.

The fire continued to show him more memories of his children before it went back to you purposefully ignoring him. He had to admit that seeing you spend time with Hermes instead of him made his brows lower in frustration. But he agreed to a deal.

“Ares?” Hestia questioned. Ares kept staring at the fire and hoped the images would return, but they slowly faded away. She said his name again. She had saw what he saw and felt the way his heart cried. It was a feeling she never wanted to experience again.

He agreed to that deal… but what would happen to him if he broke it? Nothing that hasn't happened before. How could he see all of that and still want to keep his side of the deal?

“I think…” he whispered “I think I miss my children…”.

His children. His family. His home. He had to believe that hope was possible.

Hope.

Home.

He'd fight with his all while keeping everyone in the back of his mind. He knew he'd have to break his end of the deal.

He knew he had to go home.

***

If someone were to ask how you felt in this exact moment, it'd be irritation. Because of some stupid disagreement between the Ares kids and the Apollo kids, Clarisse ordered that none of Ares' children were to attend the battle. When you reminded Clarisse that this battle was bigger than some stupid argument over a chariot and that campers have already died and more will, she simply puffed her chest and went on about how she's tired of Ares getting disrespected. Sure, ok. Maybe you got a point Clarisse. Couldn't this wait until after though?

You shared some harsh words, half of them being curse words, and joined the battle with everyone else.

Manhattan as a whole was trapped in a deep sleep, yet somehow they seemed like the lucky ones. Sure, maybe a monster would step on them but at least they'd die in their sleep. If you died you'd be fully conscious and you knew it'd hurt.

Only a fool feels no fear. A bigger fool lets fear paralyze them. You did your best to let your fear move you through your enemies and you cut and hacked at them, leaving a trail of dust in your wake. You tried at first to ignore how many old campers you were killing, but it was hard to when your sword was soaked and you stared in the eyes of people you used to call friends before you took their life. It didn't feel good but it was either you or them. None of them held their punches and those same kids came in camp and killed campers, so you wouldn't hold your punches either.

A squeal filled your ears and you winced as you looked up. The fighting stopped and you understood why when you saw a huge flying pig heading straight towards everyone. You scoffed and wanted to make some sort of joke, but figured now wasn't the time.

“As far as I know, no hero has ever beaten it” you heard Annabeth say when you got closer to her and Percy. Your heart beat in a skittish panic but you forced yourself to hold your sword firmly and say the words “we will” as serious and brave as you could muster.

Percy had some idea and while you were told to keep the enemies back, your eyes landed on a white Pegasus and you knew you couldn't.

“Hey Annabeth” you grabbed her arm, making sure not to grab too tight because of her previous wound.

“Yeah?” she asked. Annabeth looked terrible. She was covered in dirt, dust, blood, and her hair was so out of place that you thought May Castellan would take kindly to her. You didn't know how you looked but you knew that all of you would need showers if you survived.

“I love you too”

No. When you survived.

“I'm gonna try and help Percy. Stay here. I'll come back. I promise”. Before she could ask you what you meant or remind you that you couldn't promise such a thing, you ran off to the Pegasus.

“Hey buddy” you waved and forced a smile. You knew Percy could understand them and vice versa, but you couldn't understand them and you didn't know if that could understand you. “Me” you pointed at yourself, “friendly” you raised a thumbs up. You pet its head and it didn't bite you, so you assumed it understood.

“Me” you pointed at yourself. “You” you pointed at the Pegasus. “Follow Percy and pig” you pointed at Percy and the pig, who were quickly vanishing from view. It nodded its head and after a sigh of relief, you got on its back.

If it wasn't for the war and death, you'd say you were really enjoying this. How many people could say they had done something like this? Not many, that's for sure.

“Hey Sharkboy!” You yelled when you were within shouting distance. Percy thankfully was no longer hanging by a rope, but was on Blackjack. You didn't know if Blackjack recognized you as the one always giving him donuts, but he made a pleased sound when he saw you. “Uh, is this a part of your plan?” You motioned to the statue that took his place attached to the rope. “It's a pretty shit one”.

The boy rolled his eyes and huffed at you. Whether it was because of the nickname or insulting his plan, you didn't know. It made you smile either way. “I gotta get close to it! I can activate the statue to fight the pig!”.

Flying pigs, fighting statues, just another day as a demigod. You rubbed in between your brows to stop the migraine that was forming. How hadn't you gone insane yet?

“It sounds crazy but-” Percy kept talking but you stopped listening. You looked behind you at the battle and like a fool, you froze.

Manhattan was a war zone. This you knew. Seeing it up high like you were a god though made it all seem so much worse. You could see family being forced to fight each other. You could hear screams and pleads and crying. You could see kids trying to dodge being stepped on. You saw so many people not being allowed to mourn. You saw death. You saw it everywhere.

Then your shock and fear turned to anger. These were your friends and family killing each other! Sure, they were still responsible for their actions, but there wouldn't be any actions for them to take if Kronos hadn't got in the way. He used these people and he didn't care how many died. He just wanted his throne. Annabeth could die. Grover could die. Percy could die.

Your father could be destroyed.

You didn't know how you looked, but you must've looked terrifying because Percy “talks back to everyone” Jackson looked at you the way you expected him to look at the gods; with edge.

“Hey-”

You pet the animal under you neck and pointed at the pig “closer!” You ordered. It obeyed. It beat its wings harder and you passed Blackjack and Percy with ease. The closer you got, the more you could smell its stench. Under normal circumstances you'd pinch your nose and walk the opposite way, but this time you kept going straight towards it.

The animal under you whined and you assumed that meant it was having a hard time keeping up. Your eyes fell to the rope and you knew what you had to do.

Your sword morphed back into a necklace when you brought it close to you and after so much practice, clasping it wasn't a problem for you anymore.

“Good boy or girl. I'll get you some snacks when this is all over. You like donuts?” it made a pleased sound and you pet its neck.

You moved so that instead of straddling the animal, your legs were hanging over one side.

“Don't let me die” you whispered to no one in particular then you pushed yourself off.

A mixture of luck and skill prevented you from becoming a mark on the concrete.

The rope burned your bare hands but you held on anyway. You managed to grab on above the statue and started climbing upwards, using the beating in your chest to motivate you not to fall and die. The white Pegasus stayed beside you as you forced yourself up the rope and you gripped the pig's fur to pull yourself all the way up. Now, pigs don't have tons of fur, but a giant pig had plenty enough to grab onto.

The wind blew through your hair so harshly that you were surprised it didn't snatch it all off. The pig was flying at an intense speed with its only goal being to destroy everything you loved.

You pulled your necklace off and it turned back into the double edged sword your father gifted you so many years ago.

It was only now that you realized something.

When you killed this thing, it'd disintegrate. You wouldn't. In the mall you were high up but you were only up a couple floors. Now you were definitely above the mall and many other buildings. The white Pegasus was no longer keeping up with you and when you looked behind you, Percy and Blackjack were still a while away.

Percy connected the dots a lot faster than you did and you saw his lips move and Blackjack's wings flap faster.

What do you say when you know you're gonna die? Damn. You didn't have time to prepare and you didn't have time for a speech.

You felt like you were looking back at the flames. At home. At hope. You were supposed to return home after the battle and things would be okay again. But in the same breath, this is why you were fighting. You were fighting for your home and so the people you love could live as peacefully as they could.

The sword felt heavier in your hand. You smiled to yourself. You still had a piece of home with you and you'd use it to better the lives of the other people you call home.

You screamed as loud as you could in hopes Percy would hear you. “IF EVERYTHING GOES OKAY, TELL MY DAD THAT…” tell him what? You had so much to say. What could wrap everything you wanted to say together?

“... TELL HIM I MISS HIM! AND THAT I LOVE HIM!”.

Blackjack's wings beat harder, yet he was still far. Percy wore a look of determination and you laughed. You couldn't believe he was still the young scared boy that arrived at camp when he was 12.

“I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO!”. You smiled at him to leave him with something nice to remember. “THIS WAS FUN!”.

You turned away from him and with as much strength as you could muster you plunged the sword through the pig’s skin.

You felt its body crumble away and then you felt yourself slipping through the air.

***

As one could assume, war was Ares' element and where he felt the most comfortable. There wasn't much to say about the battle. Sure, it was a battle for humanity but honestly? Ares wasn't that worried. Call it an inflated sense of self. Was it really that though when you could back up how high you thought of yourself?

As corny as it sounded, the war in his mind was much more intense. As he fought, his mind kept slipping back to what he saw in the flames. His family. His children. His home. His hope. The reason he fought. Sure he liked a good fight but he fought this giant monster with the other Olympians for his family.

Ares is a proud man, so naturally he had faith that his children would survive the battle, but an ego could only get you so far. He knew the truth. He knew that any of his children could be crushed at any second, or squeezed to death, or stabbed, or eaten, or whatever Kronos and his army had planned. He knew that he could return to whatever was left of Olympus and he could mourn children that he had forced to become strangers. He wanted to be better. He had to be. He just needed time and that meant he needed his children alive. Especially the one that started this.

Besides the diner, Ares had only held you once. He didn't think he'd remember it well yet somehow he could smell the cookies your mother had baked and he could remember exactly how the furniture was. He could see blinds covering the windows and the white walls lined with family photos and art pieces. He could see the black couch that sat across from the TV which sat on a table.

And he could feel your mother place you in his arms.

“This is your child” she had said. He looked over at her and she smiled down at you with a sense of joy and pride, which was much different to how he saw her look at you recently, with hate and contempt.

You were so small then. Only months old, still exploring the world and having no idea how life would beat you down. You cooed as you looked up at him and shifted in his arms. He wondered if somehow you knew he was your father and that he was no threat to you.

So small. So curious. So innocent. Now you were a warrior seasoned by the battles you had been fighting since you were a small child.

He kept thinking about what would happen next the entire time. He knew he'd have to break his end of the agreement, but it was up to you and any of his other children to accept him turning a new page. It absolutely did NOT frighten him more than the Titan he was battling. Absolutely not.

As Ares suspected, the Olympians and their children won the war. Kronos was gone and his armies were slaughtered. That was the best part. He didn't get the chance to have a good look at the battle, but seeing the damage the demigods caused made him proud. He hadn't seen you though, which was something he noted.

The worst part was looking at Percy Jackson's face. Sure, he started the fight but that didn't matter! When Ares said “enemy for life” he meant it! The fact that he had to listen to Percy be praised and he couldn't beat on him right then and there made him tap his finger against the arm of his chair in discontent.

“Lord Ares” Percy said and he could tell he hated saying the “Lord” part. It made him grin.

“Boy?”

Percy's fist balled and Ares continued smirking.

“I have a message from your child”.

His smirk fell when he heard your name. A message? Did that mean…

“They said that they missed you and loved you. They were… They…” he paused and Ares leaned forward. “They were in trouble and out of everything they could've said, they said that. They’re-”

Ares didn't let him finish. He jumped out his chair and his feet thundered against the ground as he sped walked to the elevator.

This couldn't be. That boy was wrong. His child was fine! He wanted to be better for them and now…?

No. No no no no! This couldn't be! He pressed the floor button repeatedly hoping that the elevator would move faster, even if he knew that's not how elevators worked.

He lied to you once and said that gods didn't feel fear. How wrong he was. His whole body felt warm and if he wasn't pressing the button then he was tapping his fingers against his legs and if he wasn't doing that then he was pacing and if he wasn't doing that then he was imagining your limp body covered in blood. Was it at least quick?

“I love you dad”

No…

Not his baby…

After what felt like hours the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

He stepped into the hall of the building.

***

Turns out you should give Blackjack a lot more credit.

You closed your eyes and hoped that the fall wouldn't hurt as much as you suspected it would and then suddenly your crotch hit something hard.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed. Your eyes flew open and that's when you realized Blackjack actually managed to catch you. Percy let out a breath you suspected he was holding the whole time.

“You don't ever do that again!” he scolded. Ironic coming from the guy who always did stupid things.

“I hope I won't have to”. He rolled his eyes and looked back ahead of him.

“I just knew you were gonna do something stupid. I just couldn't tell what it was at first. And don't you ever look at me like that again”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to kill something”. Once again, ironic. Percy had that same look on his face more times than you could count, but instead of arguing you kept a hand on his shoulder and said “sure Sharkboy”.

You tried to tune out the rest of the battle to keep yourself sane. One moment you and Percy joined everyone else, then Percy and Annabeth went to Olympus and now you were sitting in the Empire State building completely exhausted. You were slumped in a chair, covered in dirt and grime when the Stoll brothers came over.

“Guess what we have” Connor said in a sing song voice and raised his brows.

“An Advil?”. The two laughed like what you said was funny. It wasn't funny to you. Your head was killing you.

“Even better” Travis said. “Boom!”. You hadn't noticed the bag he had on him somehow, and when he opened it your eyes were filled with candy. You looked back up at their faces, both with an ear to ear smile.

“I thought Percy said not to snatch anything when everyone was asleep”.

“We didn't! How could you say something like that?” The two looked at each other with faux innocence but their devious smiles betrayed them. Whatever. You were too tired to scold them and it wasn't your business that got ransacked.

“Listen, we'd typically charge for these but since you killed that pig, you can get something for free”

You raised a brow at them and looked at them disinterested. “Or I could report you and make you take all that back”

“You won't” Travis challenged.

Little shit was right.

You looked in the bag for what you wanted and chuckled when you saw it.

When you and Ares talked in the rain that night, you debated on burning a fruit roll up as an offering. You decided that was a shit offering and didn't do it, but your father saw you in the rain and came over anyway.

Now that same flavor of fruit roll up was sitting at the top of all of that candy.

You took it and thanked the two. They were on their way after, probably about to scam some poor kid by overcharging it. They never tried that with you or any of the other older kids.

You pocketed the candy and used your sword to help you stand. You were exhausted. Your shoulders sagged, your back ached and you smelled like everything unfortunate in the world. You needed a shower and new clothes desperately.

You began walking then a ding filled your ears and out of curiosity you turned from the door and looked over.

It was him.

By the way his eyes softened you could tell he saw you. You were done lying to yourself and convincing yourself he didn't care. You knew you saw relief in his eyes.

Maybe Ares should've listened to what else Percy was gonna say. Maybe he was gonna say “they're fine but you should really talk to them”. Something like that.

Ares had seen you tear up multiple times. In sadness, in anger, in betrayal. This time though? You didn't look hurt. You looked relieved. You looked like how he felt. You looked like a huge pain had been lifted off your shoulders. If before you looked like a child whose dreams were crushed, now you looked like an adult who realized there was nothing crushed that couldn't be fixed.

You had grown up more since he last saw you. He didn't wanna miss any more years.

“And I hope the idea of me calling you Ares instead of dad terrifies you”

The words rang in his ears. You were right. It terrified him. It paralyzed him. He had one question on his mind.

What would you call him?

The two of you stood facing each other for seconds but it felt longer. Both your minds were racing. You were both thinking of the past, the fact that both of you were okay, and wondering what the future would be.

You felt like a kid again. You just stared at him with so many emotions coursing through you. The main ones being joy and relief.

Without thinking, you threw your sword to the side and ran at him. “Daddy!” You shouted with the inner voice of a child who was finally getting everything they wanted. You jumped into his arms and he caught you. His grasp was firm and he kept you close.

You both closed your eyes and focused on each other's warm embrace. You were both okay. You were both home. Neither of you held your tears and vulnerabilities from each other.

“I heard you were missing me” he said. You knew it was a joke but you couldn't laugh. You nodded into his shoulder.

“I did”.

“I missed you too” he admitted. It felt so good to finally admit.

It felt so good to finally hear. He missed you. He cared for you. He loved you. He was holding you.

“I don't like our agreement anymore” you mumbled. “You gonna rearrange my fingers or-”

“No” he answered firmly. He set you down and his hands held your face. “No” he said again.

“Not gonna turn me into an ant either?” You joked. He smiled at you and pulled you into another hug.

“I love you dad”

“I love you too”.

Ares did something he hadn't done in a while and he kissed the top of your head like he saw other fathers do. It surprised him how much happiness it filled him with. You on the other hand thought this would only happen in dreams. You were so glad you were wrong.

Then he did something else he hadn't done in a while.

He apologized.

“I'm sorry”

“I know” you answered simply.

“I'm gonna be better”.

You smiled and closed your eyes, allowing yourself to melt in his embrace.

“I believe you”.

Hope.

Home.

You two managed to hold onto hope. What others would call delusional or stupid, you called a dream. You both managed to make that dream a reality.

After years and years of complications, heartache and frustration, you two made it.

You two made it home.

If y’all sexualize the reader calling Ares “daddy” I swear I will rewrite this and have the reader die a terrible death. Do NOT-

Anyway y’all IT’S HERE! We finally made it to the end! Y’all feeling as proud and emotional as I do? Originally Everything wasn’t gonna be a series. I made pt1 and was like “yeah. A simple one shot” but people wanted more and it became a series. I got 2 abandoned series for different fandoms so it’s an accomplishment I finished this one. I don’t have any new series planned right now but I wanted to say thank you for the support Everything has gotten and the nice comments I’ve received. This was really fun. Until next time! (Also I told y’all they’d get a happy ending. I know some of y’all didn’t believe me)

Taglist: @kyuupidwrites @chadmeeksmartinswifey @lebguardians @beansficreblogs @itzjustj-1000 @white-wolf-buckaroo @elsisenta @leathesimp @marshymallo @stickyfictioninwriting @asexualaromosafezone @arialikestea @1mawh0re @samoanroyalty @wolfgirl294 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @ohlookitsasinglepoeceofpopcorn

#percy jackson #percy series #percy jackson ares #pjo tv show #ares pjo #ares x reader #ares x child #ares angst #ares percy jackson #pjo angst #pjo x reader #pjo olympians #I never know what else to put

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acourtofthought · 2 months

Note

The Asteri arrange bondless matings in Midgard to produce powerful offspring. The Asteri corrupted the Cauldron. ACOTAR is the only world where the Cauldron has influence. ACOTAR is the only world where we know some matings bonds can be wrong. Rhys says mating bonds may be from the Mother or the Cauldron, and might just be to produce powerful offspring. If SJM wants to make Elain and Azriel true mates she's already done all the work. It's all in canon. Elriel, Nessian, and Feysand could all have bonds from the Mother, just like in CC and TOG. Elucien could have a bond from the corrupted Cauldron. It's not that hard.

In 15,000 years.

After Danika / Baxion, Kallias / Vivianne, Feyre / Rhys, Rowan / Aelin, Bryce / Hunt, Nesta / Cassian, and so on.

In 15,000 years, ONLY the Elucien mating bond is corrupt? Those are some fucking odds, let me tell you. And damn, Elain and Lucien must be really important to be the sole recipients of such a unique plot with such far reaching implications.

It's really strange how the Asteri, who have never met Elucien and will never meet Elucien considering the ones on Midgard who are responsible for all this corruption are (spoiler) DEAD, would have gone to so much trouble.

If you're trying to claim Elain and Lucien were mated only to create the most powerful offspring than I feel pretty bad for E/riels future children since you're telling me they will just never measure up and that Az is in fact the weakest link.

It's also really strange how this same corrupt Cauldron created Elain and Nesta. Maybe it's not the bond that is corrupt but Elain herself, right? Since everything that comes from the cauldron now has the potential to be tainted I guess neither Lucien or Az should end up with a girl with that sort of questionable creation. I mean, the author did include the line about Elain having tightness on her face and Cassian suspecting she wasn't telling the truth about something. Clearly, that's SJM already "doing the work" to support Evil Elain and Az and Lucien will need to put her down together.

You know what's not hard? Understanding why some bonds are poorly matched.

You're referring to Rhys's parents, correct?

Rhys's father was cold and vicious and stole his mother away the second their bond snapped because he felt entitled to her. He also refused to ban wing clipping despite his her begging him to.

Rhys's mother was soft and fiery and beloved by many.

Elain sounds like Rhys's mother, does she not?

Cold and vicious, cold and vicious, feels entitled to a female. Gosh...that just doesn't sound like Lucien.

But it kind of does sound like someone full of an icy rage who is a far better liar than Rhys himself and knows how to perform a symphony of pain during his torture sessions. The guy who feels he should have gotten Elain as a mate for the simple fact that his brothers are with her sisters.

Elain and Az will never be true mates and let me tell you why.

Because as Elain was violated in the most horrible way possible to her character, Az was crying out for Mor.

As Elain was depressed and traumatized, Az never bothered to ask how she was doing, did not visit her for weeks after she was turned, and actually drew straws so he didn't need to stay and guard her.

After Elain lost her father, Az was relieved not to get her a Solstice gift and blushed and stared at Mor with heat and yearning.

I don't even need an Elucien mating bond to understand he is by far the better male for her.

#pro elucien #elucien #anti e/riel #pro lucien vanserra

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scekrex · 1 month

Note

Sinner Adam X Pastry Chef, Seraphim Male Reader.

Ok so Adam after the events of season one becomes a sinner.

But his boyfriend who sneaks out of heaven to find him and he does just that. And thankfully he did find him before he did something stupid.

Like going to the hotel he just attacked for protection from everyone who wants him dead. Who's inhabitants also want him dead.

But Reader knows he can't bring Adam up to heaven cause that goes against the rules. So he does the next best thing!

He opens a bakery in hell! Which doubles as a house. Don't question it, it's heavenly magic bullshit.

So now Him and Adam run a bakery with the help of Lute and a couple of exorcists who drop by from time to time.

Ohhhh I fucking love that, them just owning a little bakery in hell that's heaven themed and gives the vibes and is all beautiful. Also reader throwing away everything just to be with Adam? Me. I'd do that.

I'll meet you in hell

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, mentions & symptoms of depression

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

“We have to send our people down there and look for him,” you explained, hoping the other angels in the court would agree. Panic has flooded your eyes and your body language was a little too over the top because of that. Adam was down there, the projection of hell's current state had shown it, the first man was wandering through hell's streets, he was badly injured and had no shelter.

“No, we won't put our people at risk for a sinner,” Sera spoke highly, her chin tilted upwards so that she had to look down on you. “A sinner?” you asked, horrified by her choice of words - it's not that she wasn't wrong, Adam was walking through hell as a newborn sinner, “He’s still our first man!” But your statement was only met by shaking heads and mumbling that sounded a little too close to disagreement. With pleading eyes you looked up to Sera, Emily by her side. The little seraphim was talking to her sister quietly, so quiet that it was inaudible for you and the other angels in court.

“We have come to the decision,” Sera adjusted her posture as she turned towards you, “We can't risk the well-being of our people and therefore the well-being of heaven for the first man. He is not important enough to take that risk.” The panic that had been filling your eyes was replaced by pain and betrayal. The other seraphims had betrayed you, or at least it felt that way to you. With a lowered head you were about to get up and leave the courtroom, the verdict had been spoken and you had nothing to say that would change their mind. Discussing something like this with them was pointless, you should've known, saved time and went down without their knowledge of your location. You had to go down to hell and protect Adam - it wasn't as if the former angel was not able to stand up for himself - he every much was able to do so, you knew that better than anyone - but he was wounded and had no place to stay at, no one to turn to and the fact that probably every single resident of the pride ring wanted him dead was not helping either.

So you nodded your head towards your brothers and sisters, then turned to Lute - Lute who had been the only one to stay by your side. “We’re done here,” you stated as you watched the lieutenant lower her head as she followed you out of the courtroom. “Sir, excuse my curiosity but I assume you will not stay in your seat and wait, so may I ask what your plan is?” You liked Lute for many reasons, her loyalty for Adam was most definitely one of the highest attributes you admired. “I’ll go down myself and make sure he stays out of trouble as much as possible,” you explained, the lieutenant of your boyfriend remained by your side as you opened a portal to where Adam had last been spotted in hell, she was ready to go down with you. And while you normally wouldn't turn that offer down, this time you had to. Your visit in hell would be permanent - you were not going to leave the brunette to himself. “I’m coming with you, Sir,” the white haired woman said as she walked closer to the portal, yet she stopped when your hand gently came to rest on her shoulder. Your soft eyes met her determined ones and you offered her a warm yet genuine smile, “No Lute. Heaven needs you, I will take care of Adam, you will take care of heaven for me.”

The exorcist did not look very pleased with that decision of yours, still she gave you a nod and took a step back from you and the golden portal, “Very well, Sir.” With a little wave you turned around at her words, now facing the portal that would take you to your boyfriend and just as you were about to step through it, Lute raised her voice again, this time the usually so confident woman’s voice sounded somewhat unsteady, “Y/N?” You turned your head to Lute, then she continued, “Tell Adam I miss him.” And with those words she left. Ah yes, Lute always had trouble showing feelings and admitting them to somebody else than the person they were about surely must have been hard for her.

Hell was different than you had expected it to be, you had never personally been down there, why should you have been after all? Yet a creature as bright spirited as you was easy to spot - mainly due to your appearance. So when you turned around just to be tackled to the ground by a familiar first man, you were quite surprised and in shock at the same time, you had not expected Adam to spot you that quickly and act on it. “I fucking knew you would come to get my holy ass back into heaven,” the brunette mumbled as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. You held onto Adam’s body as you got up from the dirty ground - hell had a nasty vibe that you did not like but you’d have to get used to it. This place would now function as your new home due to Adam being not allowed to cross the pearly gates again. “Well, it’s not that easy love, I spoke to Sera-” Adam eagerly interrupted you, “I’m fucking sure she told you to get me in the first place, didn’t she? Yeah, she sure as fuck did.” Though when you shook your head in disagreement the prideful look in his eyes fell and disbelief replaced it. “What? You’re gonna fucking tell me these bitches want me to rot in this fucked up hellhole?” A simple nod was all you were able to give your boyfriend. Yes, that was exactly what Sera and the others had decided was the best solution for not only heaven but also Adam, but how could this be the best decision for Adam when he had been all alone the entire time and would have continued to stay alone if it weren’t for you disobeying the rules? Gently you cupped his face, a thing the first man had grown used to since that was something you did quite often - he still found it a little strange, it felt so intimate and personal while it appeared to be such a casual way of touching your lover. “The court has decided to not let you back in, Adam,” for Adam, this was the first time hearing your voice after his fall, after he had lost his status and home, after he had been convinced he had lost you as well. And despite your words being bad news, he could not help but find comfort in the sound of your voice. “But I won’t let you suffer here all on your own,” Adam’s eyes shimmered with hope and it felt painful to take that little bit of hope from him too, you knew he was hoping you were to smuggle him back into the heavenly realms - but that was a thing not even you as a seraphim could do.

“I’ll stay by your side,” and despite your thoughts that Adam would be highly disappointed, the hope in his eyes remained. You assumed that spending eternity in hell with his boyfriend sounded better to him than spending eternity in hell all on his own. “Well,” the brunette shrugged as he slowly pulled away from your touch, “That works fucking fine by me.” Not that it actually did though, the former angel would have preferred it if you would have taken his ass back to the pearly gates. But if the others were against it, you would make hell his new home instead, simply by spending all of eternity here with him just because you wanted to do so. He knew that if they hadn't done so already, they would properly ban you from the realm you had called home once forever, just like they had banned him. And he respected that - well, at least he thought he did because in his eyes that not only had the cute touch of ‘I throw my perfect life away to be with my loved one’, to Adam that also sounded incredibly stupid. Or at least he tried to tell himself that your decision was stupid - giving up everything to spend eternity with your loved one? Yeah totally not something he would do. Except that for you, he would throw it all away.

Getting used to hell’s atmosphere surely was not something that had ever been on your agenda, the air was stinky, the streets were dirty and the only area that felt clean and somewhat fresh was the area around the bakery you had built. The building was huge, shimmered in heaven’s brightest colors and you even managed to let some grass grow around the building that was not only used as a bakery, but it was also the new home of Adam and you. It had been quite some work - not because it was hard to work angelic magic in hell, no that had been the easy part. But due to this building doubling as a house and a bakery, it had taken some planning to not forget something important.

The bakery was not running very well, most sinners were not interested in heavenly food. The creatures down here looked up at heaven like the angels up there looked down at hell, in disgust and despair, not that you blamed them for doing so, they surely had their reasons to think that way. But you had two or three regulars that would stop by every other day and those people surely made your day, especially with one of them being Charlie Morningstar. Adam was not very happy whenever little miss butterflies and rainbows was visiting, but you and her got along quite well and your boyfriend at least tolerated that. And despite the bakery not earning very much money, the both of you had everything you needed, that was the bright side of not having to pay rent, you assumed.

Lute had convinced Sera to do regular check-ups on you, however she had only told the seraphim as an excuse to visit Adam. Don’t get her wrong, she was also glad to be able and pay you a visit, but her and Adam were closer than you and Lute could ever be and her missing her best friend more than his boyfriend was more than normal, not only in her eyes but also in yours. Sometimes she even talked Sera into taking one or two of the exorcists with her, to Sera she would say she takes them with her for defense reasons, in reality they just missed their former leader - and who could blame them? Lute surely did not.

You were standing behind the counter, the first man leaned against your side, wrapped up in your soft wings, his head on your shoulder as he was almost falling asleep. It was still early and Adam was convinced he would never get used to getting up so early in the morning, to him it felt like it was still the middle of the night. The little bell that rang as the door to the bakery opened made him crack one eye open and as he spotted a familiar face, he lifted his head off your shoulder, he remained wrapped in your wing though, not willing to leave the cozy warmth they provided.

“Danger Tits,” Adam beamed at the white haired woman as she entered the bright and heavenly feeling bakery. The vibe of the building you had created was different from the rest of hell, whenever Lute entered the inviting looking building she felt like you had brought a piece of heaven to hell. And while she still disliked Charlie’s idea of rehabilitation, she did like the fact that you made hell a little nicer - at least for Adam’s sake. That way she knew the first man was able to live a somewhat good afterlife, even with his soul stuck in hell.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x male reader #male reader #adam x y/n #adam x reader #adam x you

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joels-shitty-puns · 9 months

Text

The Key To Your Heart - Track 3

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Gif creds to @bestintheparsec

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.5K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

Sorry this took so long. Work :( But I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. :) Thanks for reading!

-Pedro's POV-

The warmth of the midday sun beamed through the window as Pedro glanced nervously at his watch. 12:55PM. Finally, he grabbed his laptop and lay down on his couch with a soft *flump*. He quickly typed in "The Jazz and AllyKat show" into the search engine and opened up the website for your interview, just in time for it to begin broadcasting live. He knew you wouldn't be visible, but he would be lying if he said he hadn't been waiting anxiously since they announced it two days ago.

He was interested in hearing more about you. Hearing your voice speaking instead of just singing. Hearing the passion and levels of expression you may portray. Do you have an accent? A high or low voice? A lisp or a stutter? A rasp? You were such a mystery to him and the world, yet your shared conversation over Instagram the other day was so heartfelt. He appreciated your candor and vulnerability, especially in show business.

He couldn't figure out why… but ever since he heard your song, he couldn't stop thinking about you. There was something about you that seemed to draw him in. He was impressed with your lyrics and swooned at your voice. That voice! But with everyone contemplating who you were and who you liked, Pedro didn't want to be another one of those people, making you feel pressured. But he was certainly curious.

The video began and he listened intently, not wanting to miss a single word. When your voice chirped a hello to the interviewers and listeners, his heart skipped a beat. He swore it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. He was drawn to you and wanted to learn anything he could, so he listened, trying to keep his breathing as silent as possible to not miss it. Why am I feeling like this? We've only had one conversation. Why am I so drawn to her, especially when she's already in love with someone?… he interrogated himself.

The interview discussed your favorite color, animals, and books, which Pedro vowed to read as soon as he could get to a bookstore. You listed off your favorite films and shows. However, although you had a great taste in cinema, he couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that none of his roles were on your list. Clearly it's not you she loves, so you can put that out of your head now. He should feel relief, but instead he feels hollow at that realization.

When asked who your best friend is, you gush about your guy bff. You talk about how much you love him. How cute and sweet he is. Pedro can't help but feel a bit jealous of this guy who you love so much. But he listens on, his heart perking up and bubbling over when he hears you finally explain that your best friend is your dog.

Not only does she have a dog, but he's her best friend. And the way she talks about him is so…adorable, he thinks, gushing over your shared love of the fuzzy animals. He wonders what your dog's name and breed is, but you refuse to answer that question from the interviewers, for fear that someone may recognize his name and breed, tying him to you. The interviewers make a joke on your paranoia, which you ignore and Pedro scoffs at, their lack of understanding poking a protective instinct inside of him.

The conversation suddenly rolls into celebrity crushes and his chest tightens. But before they can ask you, he hears the air horn signaling the amount of viewers. Although he's disappointed to miss the potential answer you may have given, he also feels that strange protective feeling over you again, making him feel annoyed at the interviewers, knowing your desire for privacy. His thoughts only shift into a possessive manner for a millisecond before Ally proposes the possibility of your crush potentially listening to the show. His heart and emotions are on a bumpy roller coaster and he's practically jittery at the anticipation. He's leaning in to hear your answer when the door to his house barges open and a frustrated Oscar Isaac walks in, complaining in Spanish.

Startled, Pedro slams his laptop closed and flings it towards the coffee table, nearly spilling his drink. He yells questioningly, wondering why his best friend is barging into his home unannounced. Oscar is fully in the living room now, hands on his hips and ready to rant again. But before he has a chance to continue his argument with Pedro, he squints. His eyes look to the laptop, then to Pedro, now standing and looking frazzled after jolting up from the seat. He looks at Pedro's face again, eyebrow raised questioningly, and points to the laptop. "Were you watching porn?"

Pedro is dumbfounded, and if he wasn't on such high alert, he would've thought to lie and say he was watching porn. Instead he blurts "NO, I was not watching porn." It sounded like a lie. Oscar looks again from the laptop to Pedro, noticing his flushed cheeks and giving him a once over from head to toe, looking for any tells, other than the blush and the panic. "Yeah right, you slut. Let's see then."

Oscar reaches for the laptop, and Pedro grasps for it too, just a second behind. Too slow. Pedro argues "I wasn't. Not that it should matter, seeing as I'm in my own HOME… alone. Or should I say previously alone." Pedro throws his hands up in frustration. Oscar just laughs. "Okay let's see what you're so interested in then, that you don't even hear me knocking on your door or trying to contact you." He cracks open the computer.

"You're watching…an interview?" Oscar looks at Pedro, confused at why he would be so wigged out over a talk show. "I told you," Pedro replies, pointedly. Oscar glances back at the computer again, his brow suddenly relaxing and his lips turning into a mischievous smirk. "Ohh. I see… This is that girl you defended in your interview, huh? Someone got a little crush?"

Pedro rolled his eyes and scoffed, trying to push away the warmth grazing his cheeks. "No. I don't have a crush. I was just looking for something to do and saw it pop up on my page…" Pedro rambled on, "plus it's just curious how much she's keeping a secret, you know? Everyone is wondering about these things." Oscar listened, amused, and Pedro continued. Please stop talking, Pedro thought to himself. "Plus I don't even know her. A crush? That's ridiculous."

"She doesn't know that guy in her song either and she managed a crush… and you defended it," Oscar said matter-of-factly. Pedro rolled his eyes, and Oscar continued. "Are you hoping her crush is on you?"

Pedro sputtered out a quick answer. "Please. She sounds young... it's probably on someone like Harry Styles. Why would she have interest in an old man like me?" Oscar patted Pedro's shoulder. "You're too hard on yourself." Pedro ignored him and continued, "plus you know how I feel about relationships."

"Yeah yeah…" Oscar continued in a mocking tone, hand pretending to be a sock puppet while he recited, "I don't have the time to properly grow a relationship, I don't want to get hurt, I'm focusing on my career…" Pedro ignored his mocking tone and simply agreed with the recitation. "Yes… now… Why did you feel the need to barge in here unexpectedly?"

"It wouldn't have been unexpected had you checked your messages. I texted you four times and even messaged your Instagram when I didn't get a reply," Oscar defended.

"You know I'm not a texter," Pedro disputes.

"Yeah, no shit, abuelito. How many messages are unread on your phone? 600?" Oscar banters.

Pedro hastily defended himself. "No! I call them back! And abuelito!? Really?" He tuts. "You're not far behind me, pendejo. Plus you know I never check my Instagram messages either. I hardly even log on. You should've called me instead."

"I did. Twice. Anyway, I wanted to see if you were still available to watch the kids later. Buuuut, after not hearing back, I just decided to check on you. Glad to see you're alive, and clearly just distracted." Oscar wiggles his eyebrows.

Pedro crosses his arms, ignoring Oscar's last remark. "Yes, of course I'll watch the kids. Go enjoy yourselves!"

"Thanks P. You're the best… and I know I'm picking on you, but I just want you to be happy. I think if you like this girl you should try and talk to her. Dust off the cobwebs of your Instagram and actually message her or something."

I already have… Pedro thinks, running his thumb across his bottom lip. "Thanks, man."

Oscar left with a friendly pat on Pedro's shoulder. "See you later tonight then with the kids!"

Upon closing the door, Pedro sped over to his laptop again, hopeful that your interview hadn't ended yet. Fortunately for him, it was still recording. He hoped he hadn't missed anything.

The interviewer named Ally spoke. "Nice try. You know who we're trying to find out about. Has he, the man of your dreams and star of your lyrics, contacted you at all? Will we see a romance blooming?"

Pedro's heart pounded so loud he feared he would miss your answer. If she says yes… his mind entertains, not knowing the answer to the rest of that thought.

You spoke, hesitantly, and he felt the protective urge creep over him again. He wanted to know the answer but he hated hearing you uncomfortable . "I uh… I have received a lot of messages, some of them from celebrities."

He swallowed hard, his breath catching in his throat.

The interviewers replied excitedly. "Yeeeeaaaah?????"

There's a long pause. The silence is deafening, apart from the booming timpani of Pedro's heartbeat.

You answered, so softly he almost missed it. "Yes. We've talked."

He stopped breathing.

"Did you tell him it was him? Did you admit you love him?"

"Absolutely not. It was just a nice conversation," you laughed.

We had a nice conversation…

"Will you tell us who he is? At least a description? An initial?" Jazzy asked, desperate for answers.

Ally chimed in "anything! We're starving here."

You giggled before answering. The most beautiful laugh he's ever heard. "I won't do that much, but I will say… he has brown curly hair... Gorgeous brown eyes… And he seems really funny and nice."

I have curly brown hair and brown eyes.. maybe it could be me, his heart offered the idea. I try my best to be funny and nice too.

It could also be Tom Holland. Or Dylan O'Brien. Or some other young actor, his self-doubt chimes in. But he also knew based on your eye color descriptor, that it wasn't Harry Styles, shutting down his earlier guess.

Ally lets out a huff. "That's a pretty broad answer but I guess it narrows out a few people.."

"Well we have another surprise. A way to narrow it down a little more…" Jazz proposes.

"Oh? What's that?" You replied. Pedro could hear the nervousness in your tone.

Jazz continued "I asked our tech to work his magic, and he managed to pull a list of our viewers during the highest number of people tuning in…"

Pedro's heart picked up speed.

"Then, since he's so good at working a computer, he was able to filter it further, running the names through the web and pulling out any celebrities. We have a list here and all you have to do is read through and say if he's on the list of viewers. The only ones who would know are the three of us. Of course if he's watching, he will also know if he's in the running or not."

You stuttered out, "o-okay.."

There was a long pause on your end while you read, and Jazz and Ally filled in the space with chatter.

Pedro sat, waiting nervously for your answer.

"Uhm… no. None of these names.." you finally answered.

His heart sank. It wasn't him. You didn't love him.

"That's disappointing," Ally answered. "I had really hoped he was listening. I'm sorry. I thought when we filtered through the viewers with our celebrity listener filter, we'd have some luck."

"It's okay.. he's probably busy or something.." you answered, though your disappointment was hard to hide. "Maybe he will listen later when he has time."

Pedro was logged in on his account. His name would've been on that list, and you just confirmed, without calling him out personally, that he wasn't the one you loved.

The interview soon ended and he closed his laptop with a sigh, flopping back onto his couch. He had hoped to message you and tell you he watched the video. But now he didn't see the point in it. You already knew he watched it, and you probably didn't care. He closed his eyes and eventually decided to try and ignore his feelings. You don't even know her. Don't be stupid. It's just a crush.. a stupid, hopeless crush..

Looking out the window, Pedro noticed the sun setting outside and glanced at the clock on his stove. Realizing Oscar would be back soon with the kids, he decided he needed to snap out of it. Put on a happy face before babysitting duty. He began straightening up the house and getting things ready before finally turning on a cartoon movie just in time for them to arrive.

Oscar greeted him, and sat the kids in front of the movie. He knew his friend well enough to see through his smile and know he was upset about something. But he also could tell Pedro needed some space to sort things out in his mind first before he was ready to talk. So he left the kids with a profuse thank you, and headed out the door, leaving Pedro alone with his thoughts and two small bundles of energy.

Unbeknownst to Pedro, you looked through the list of celebrity viewers, scanning for his name. But thanks to his friend's intrusion, at the time that they filtered the list, he was disconnected from the live video. He wasn't on the list you saw.

Kept busy with the kids, it wasn't until they were back home with their parents that Pedro was forced to think about his feelings. Maybe he would still message you either way. You probably needed more friends and allies in this business, and he did enjoy talking to you, even if he wasn't the one you loved. If you didn't want to form a friendship with him back, that was fine too. But he would try. Still, his disappointment was settling in his heart. He didn't realize how much he was starting to care about you until you said he wasn't on that list.

So with the shared belief that neither of you cared about one another, you both went to bed, you both felt heavy in your hearts, and you both couldn't help but feel light tears spilling onto your cheeks as sleep eventually took over.

Equally unknown to you, he was watching, and he planned to watch it again when the video was posted, just to hear you talk a little bit longer. Just to learn more about you. Learn the tiny personality quirks he could pick out from your voice. Things that make you who you are, until maybe he could meet you in person.

That's all for this chapter!! Thank you again for reading and let me know what you think.

Looking for the next chapter? Here!

Taglist: (Let me know if you want in!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x afab!reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x musician!reader #pedro pascal x plus sized! reader #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal rpf #a! wrote a fic #rpf #key to your heart

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king-bumis-armpit · 1 month

Text

The Wedding Weaver

Written for Maiko Week 2024 - Wedding

Summary:

The master matchmaker and self-proclaimed Wedding Weaver is going to be in Ba Sing Se for the first annual Peace Extravaganza hosted by Avatar Aang. Inspired by his message of love and unity, she will be offering a discount on her services for the week of the festival! Find your peace and harmony with your perfect other half…

Mai and Zuko are brought together by forces beyond their control.

Author's Note:

This is admittedly a big stretch of the prompt. After I wrote this, I saw that “matchmaker” was actually a prompt back in 2022! I didn’t have the desire to write back then, but I’m a long time reader of Maiko fics. If you’ve written one, I have probably read it multiple times and I love you <3 That being said, this is my first foray into writing so please be kind ^^

Also, I should mention this is probably not an accurate portrayal of matchmakers and it is certainly not meant to be a representation of any cultures that have historically utilized matchmaking. It’s just a silly idea I had and I wanted to write.

The Wedding Weaver

Mai looked at the paper with disdain. “Why exactly are you showing me this, Mother?”

Michi sternly met her daughter’s gaze. “You have been moping about this house for far too long. I was engaged by the time I was your age!”

“Look how well that turned out.”

“Young lady!” Michi seemed to be about to launch into a tirade, but for some reason she held back and sighed. “You know we are traveling into the city for the festival. I thought perhaps it would give you something to do, since you are always bored.”

Mai’s Aunt Mura landed a very lucrative business deal with a guild of artisans. She would be providing florals and arranging the decorations for their stalls during the festival. Merchants from all over the Fire Nation, and doubtless the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes as well, were traveling to Ba Sing Se for the event. The set up process would be intense and Mai and Michi both were planning to help. But once the festival was underway, the two of them could step back and enjoy a peaceful vacation. Mai was planning on taking Tom Tom to the zoo that Aang helped build, buying Earth Kingdom daggers, and getting a cup of tea at the Jasmine Dragon (at a time when she knew Zuko would be in a meeting of course). Meeting with a Matchmaker and possibly having to entertain a stranger was not on the top of her to do list.

“No thank you.” Mai replied curtly.

Michi sighed, “I was afraid you'd say that, but it's too late. Your aunt and I already signed you up.”

Mai expected this kind of treachery from her mother, but not her aunt. “What on earth were you thinking? Why would auntie do that to me?”

“I was thinking that you needed to get out of the house. And Mura agrees. You’ve been more despondent than normal. All we want for you, Mai, is to be happy.”

Mai shook her head. She could probably get out of it if she really wanted to, but when her mother put it that way it sounded depressing. Maybe she should give it a try. What's the worst that could happen?

— —

“Is that all for the agenda?” Zuko was in a hurry to get out of there. His combined meetings with the Fire Sages and his Royal Advisors always seemed to drag on. It felt like they were all ganging up against him. No wonder all of his ancestors were so cranky.

“Actually my Lord, there is one more item we wish to address with you. As you well know, there have been two assassination attempts on your life in the past four months. Furthermore, you are in the precarious position of lacking in heir,” an elder Fire Sage began.

Zuko did not like the sound of this. “What of it?”

“Well your majesty,” one of his advisors continued, “we were hoping that you might start to make some progress in that department.”

“Surely you're not suggesting that I go out and have a child tonight.”

“Not at all. Not at all. But perhaps you could enter another courtship?” the Advisor replied.

Zuko stiffened. He knew that he shouldn't still be so hung up on her. It’s been months since our breakup, and she has a boyfriend. Kei Lo. May he suffer the torment of Agni’s eternal flame.

Oh Mai. She’s so beautiful, and lethal, and witty, and she’s always bored but never boring.

“My Lord?” The spell was broken.

“How about I name Kiyi my successor and we all call it a day?”

“That is a… fair enough solution in case of an emergency. But consider what the burden would be like for her if she were to ascend. A significant number of the people are struggling to accept you as they're rightful ruler, but she does not even have Royal blood. What do you think would be her reception?” Shiu- the Great Sage- prodded him gently.

Zuko bit his lip. He hadn't thought of that. “I don't know what you want me to do. Being the head of state doesn't give me much free time to go around meeting young women.”

“We believe we have a solution,” The advisor who spoke passed him a paper. It appeared to be an advertisement of some sort.

“You want me to see a matchmaker?”

— —

Mai hated to admit it, but she was nervous. After the festivities had begun, the vendors assured Mura that they didn't need any additional help for the day. Consequently, Mai had nothing to do while waiting for her appointment with the Wedding Weaver except imagine worst case scenarios. What if she asks me a bunch of weird personal questions? What if she tries to set me up with a creepy old guy? What if her office is all pink and lovey-dovey?

In reality, the Weaver’s office was relatively large and open. The walls were green, and the furniture seemed to all be locally made. At the back of the room privacy screens prevented her from seeing the countless filing cabinets of her clients’ information. In the center of the room was a large desk, but instead of thin wooden chairs, on either side there were great comfy recliners. Mai sat in one, the matchmaker the other. Mai's mother, Aunt, and little brother had all accompanied her and sat on a couch behind her. Against the wall was a large standing loom, with a project clearly in-progress. It seemed the Weaver had chosen that moniker for a reason.

The Wedding Weaver herself was a petite woman. Her snowy hair was held in a tight chignon and her eyes sparkled with something that Mai didn’t entirely trust. “Don't be nervous dear,” the Weaver said while pouring some tea. She passed Mai a cup which she accepted gratefully. “Now, tell me about your ideal husband.”

“Umm… That’s a bit broad, don't you think?”

The older woman laughed. “Let me help you out. Do you have a preference for if he's Fire Nation or not? Do you want him to be a bender? Do you have occupational preferences? What values do you most look for in a partner?”

Surprisingly, Tom Tom spoke up first. “He has to live nearby. Mai can't move away.” The boy toddled from the couch and up into his sister’s lap. She accepted him without question. The pout on his face was very convincing, but even if it wasn't, Mai agreed. Best to limit the results to her own country. What if she actually liked the guy?

“Yes. Fire Nation. I don't really care if he's a bender. But if you do choose a bender, I want him to have conventional weapons training as well.”

The matchmaker raised her eyebrows. “Do you get into a lot of fights?”

Mai smirked. “Not so much anymore. But a lot of benders can be sort of pretentious to non-benders like myself. I'm trained with knives, you see.” Mai pulled one from her sleeve to prove her point, as Tom Tom looked on in awe. That was something she loved about Zuko. He thought her deadly precision was just as magical as making fire appear. They would train together for hours, each taking turns to watch the other in admiration and desire… Mai mentally kicked herself. This was NOT about him. It was about her.

Her mother spoke next. “Mai comes from a noble lineage. We would prefer someone with a title or a respectable job in the service of the Fire Nation.” The Weaver noted that Mai shifted uncomfortably at this. Curious, she thought. Perhaps the girl is self-conscious around higher nobility. The Weaver dismissed it as a non-issue. She is dignified and reserved, she would fit right in.

The matchmaker smiled. “Yes of course. Many such men are in town for the festival, and quite a few have booked with me. That shouldn't be so hard.” She thought about her next appointment with anticipation. That woman has no idea how impressive my clients are.

Mai spoke once again. “When it comes to values, I don't know how to classify this but I want someone who treats me like an equal. Someone who is trustworthy and is willing to share their heaviest burdens with me.”

She blushed at this confession, but the matchmaker did not know why. Surely anyone would want such a dedicated girlfriend?

“What about physicality? Any preferences with regards to appearance?”

Mai thought for a minute. “I don't have strong feelings about that really.”

Mura objected. “Oh no! Find our girl someone handsome!”

The Weaver laughed. “I think that can be arranged.” She had taken diligent notes throughout the meeting, and it seemed she already had a few names in mind.

She had Mai fill out a parchment questionnaire before leaving so she would have some additional personal info and more detailed preferences, but the Weaver liked to start by getting a sense of the person through conversation. She found it produced a much more accurate tapestry of a person’s desires.

— —

Mai’s family left late in the afternoon, as they had claimed the last spot on her schedule. However, today she had accepted a special request for an out-of-hours appointment from the Fire Lord himself. He, naturally, had diplomatic appointments throughout the commencement of the Peace Extravaganza. But beyond that he required the utmost discretion.

He did not arrive in her office until the sun was setting, but she did not mind in the slightest. He was her most important customer to date, and she was determined to find him a good match. When he walked in, he was accompanied by two older men: one of his advisors and one of the Fire Sages. She bowed to him in the Fire Nation custom as they all took their seats. She thought about offering tea, but remembered that his uncle was the best tea maker in the city and decided against it. Her brew surely could not compare.

She began in her usual way: “Don't be shy. Tell me about your ideal wife.”

“Oh! Uh…” Zuko was at a loss for what to say. His traitorous thoughts ran rampant: Her name is Mai. She lived across the street. She works for her aunt in a flower shop. She kissed me when I was thirteen and my life has never been the same.

The Matchmaker smiled warmly. Her clients weren't so chatty today. “That's okay, dear. Does she need to be Fire Nation? Do you want her to be a bender? Are there requirements for being the Fire Lady? What values do you most look for in a partner?”

Zuko took a breath and tried to remember all her questions. Maybe it was because of his mother’s theater background, but whenever he was nervous, he found it helpful to put on a persona. I’m not Zuko, I’m the dragon emperor and I am looking for a bride. He put on his best royal voice and began, “I think it would be best if she was from the Fire Nation. If she is to be my wife, then she will be their ruler someday. And a ruler should be well acquainted with her people. In that vein, a good education is also important. I want someone who can help me make decisions and be my true equal. I don't want her to feel imposed upon because of my station.” Zuko almost choked up during that statement. He couldn't stop thinking about Mai and all of the ways he failed her. He desperately wanted to be anywhere but there.

The matchmaker’s eyes darted to the forms on her desk. She shuffled through until she found what she was looking for. The Royal Fire Academy for Girls, eh? The matchmaker knew she was entering dangerous territory. It was always tempting to pair up clients who had sessions back to back. But she’d learned well enough from the Kangaroo Island Incident that this was not always wise.

“A fire bender would be strongly preferred,” the Fire Sage cut in.

Zuko's response was immediate and involuntary. “No!” Everyone looked at him, and he scrambled to regain his composure. “I mean… a fire bender would be fine but I don't have strong preferences in that regard.”

The Weaver’s eyes twinkled with mischief. He probably wanted a young lady who he could impress with his bending. She’d met many a man like that in her day, and some of them were quite impressive indeed. The gloomy girl wasn’t a bender, but she would still be hard to impress. Perhaps that is what he needs.

She pursed her lips: “Are you trained in any martial arts other than bending?”

Zuko was surprised by the question. “I trained with Master Piandao in dual dao swords.” For some reason, this answer seemed to please the Weaver greatly.

“Don't forget, Fire Lord Zuko, your prime directive in this union is to produce an heir. And it would be most beneficial for the nation if that child was a firebender,” his advisor at last spoke up.

Zuko responded icily: “I do not care if my child is a firebender or not. And for your sake, you had better not care either.”

The Weaver recalled how the knife girl had cradled her brother in her arms.The pair would be good parents. Perhaps a tad over-protective, but a little prince or princess would require a greater level of care.

The Fire Lord continued speaking, “But since you reminded me that your rush for an heir was spurred on by multiple assassination attempts, I would like a woman who knows at least basic self-defense. My guards can only do so much. It would ease my mind if she could protect herself.”

The Matchmaker nodded in agreement. Truly this job was getting too easy. “Do you have any preferences on how she should look?”

Zuko blanched, and instinctively reached up to touch his scar. “I really don't think I have any room for judgment.”

The Matchmaker tsked. “Nonsense. You are quite handsome, and everyone is attracted to different traits. Is there anything- a certain eye color or hair style- that you find particularly compelling?”

Before he could stop himself, Zuko answered, “Long hair. Straight. And silky smooth.”

The Matchmaker smiled. This time was nothing like Kangaroo Island. The two were obviously meant to be. “How do you feel about bangs?”

“I think they're really cute,” he said with a small voice.

The Matchmaker handed him his exit paperwork, and leaned back in her seat. She couldn't believe her luck! Those two kids are perfect for each other. And to think they wouldn't meet if it weren't for her planning their date. She was confident there would be a wedding within the year.

— —

“You’re kidding!” Ty Lee squealed. “You’re really going on a date!”

“Yeah.”

“And it was set up by the most famous matchmaker in the world?”

“I guess so.”

“Do you think he’ll be handsome? Or rich? Oh! What if he’s like Earth Kingdom royalty or something?”

Mai sighed, “Honestly, Ty Lee, don’t you think I’ve had enough of handsome, rich royalty?”

Ty Lee had the decency to look ashamed. “Oh yeah. I guess I still kind of think of Zuko as our childhood friend. It’s hard to believe he was my boss. Even when I was guarding his life, he still just seemed like Zuko.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask, why did Zuko send you all away?” About four months ago, Zuko had seemingly out-of-nowhere decided to send the Kyoshi Warriors home. Against her reasonable judgment, Mai took the action personally. Not only did she employ them in the first place, but she had become good friends with Suki and the other girls. She often met up with them for lunch, shopping, sparring, and passing the time in general.

Ty Lee rustled at her wording. “We were honorably discharged, thank you very much. The opposition to his reign was calming down and so I think he wanted his guard to be all Fire Nation again. There was some pretty nasty talk about us being a foreign militia in the palace, but I don’t know if that affected his decision.”

Mai nodded. She knew firsthand how brutal Fire Nation court gossip could get, but she hoped that wasn’t impacting Zuko’s security decisions.

“Anyway, don’t think you can get out of this date talk by bringing up your ex boyfriend.”

Mai shrugged. “There’s not much to tell. I won’t meet him until tomorrow.” It had been less than twenty-four hours since her appointment with the Wedding Weaver and Mai had already received a missive notifying her that a match had been made and the date was going to take place the following evening. The message arrived during her lunch with Ty Lee, squashing any hopes of keeping the rendezvous secret from her friend.

“Can I see the note?” Ty Lee asked, and Mai dutifully handed it over. She read aloud, “‘To the lady Mai, the Wedding Weaver is pleased to inform you that she has followed your string of fate and found your perfect match. As your lives twine together, never forget your dear old matchmaker.’” The note then detailed where and when they were supposed to meet, as well as the level of dress. The Weaver suggested semi-formal attire, which felt a bit pretentious to Mai. “‘P.S. The person you are seeing is of very high rank, and so you must be discreet with the information about your meeting.’ Oops!”

Mai smirked, “Oh c’mon. He’s probably lower level nobility with a big head! And besides, discretion wouldn’t stop me from telling you.” Embarrassment would, but never discretion.

Ty Lee laughed. “What if it’s King Kuei or one of his relatives? Oh! Or someone related to Chief Arnook! You could tell people you dated multiple world leaders!”

Mai let out a rare chuckle. “That would be pretty epic. But I told her to keep it Fire Nation. Long distance seems so boring.”

“Yeah, I seem to recall that not touching for two seconds was long distance for you and Zuko back in the day,” Ty Lee joked.

Mai tried to act offended. “Hey! We were deprived of affection in childhood. We had to make up for lost time.”

“And you certainly did,” Ty Lee quipped back and Mai rolled her eyes.

Ty Lee resumed her question barrage. “So what are you wearing? And what are you doing for make up? Do you wanna try out a new hairstyle? I’ve had a lot of practice with the girls.”

“Who appointed you as my stylist?”

“I appointed myself! Please, it’ll be so fun!”

They spent the rest of the day trying out various outfits in the market and testing make up and hair at Mai’s hotel. Ty Lee insisted she do something different with her hair, but in exchange Mai was able to get her to agree to a dress that wasn’t pink. In the past Mai might have complained about the cringiness of it all, but after four months of missing her best friend– and going even longer without an excuse to get dressed up– she found herself having fun. When she went to sleep that night, she decided that however the date went the next day, it was already worth it.

— —

On the third day of the Peace Extravaganza, Zuko rose with the sun as always and made his way to the Earth King’s palace courtyard to practice his fire bending katas. To his surprise, Aang was there as well.

“Good morning Sifu Hotman!” he said cheerfully. Zuko smiled and nodded in acknowledgement.

Normally he would protest at the nickname, but he had hardly spent any time with Aang this week because of the various meetings and peace ceremonies. He hoped he could catch up with everyone once the schedule slowed down.

“Want to go through your fire forms with your old teacher?”

“Always!”

By the time they finished, it was still too early for most of the palace to be awake. But Zuko managed to flag down a servant to bring them some breakfast in the courtyard.

“So what’s on your schedule today, your royal fieriness?” Aang asked.

Zuko sighed. “The usual, you know what it’s like. I have a meeting with Earth Kingdom’s office of veteran affairs to trade strategies for dealing with the reintegration of troops into civilian life. Then King Kuei and I are attending the opening of Ba Sing Se University’s exchange student program. After that, he and I are set to have lunch. And then it’s on to a panel discussion with the Water Tribe officials about navigation treaties. And after that we have rehearsal for the Ceremony for Perpetual Peace on the last day.”

“Wow! That’s more than me and I’m the event organizer! Do you think you could have dinner with us after the rehearsal?” Aang looked at him hopefully.

“I wish I could but–” Zuko hesitated, “promise you won’t make fun of me for what I’m about to say?”

“Okay?” Well that wasn’t much of a promise, but Zuko figured it was the best he was going to get.

“My advisors bullied me into seeing a matchmaker. The Wedding Weeder or something like that.”

“The Wedding Weaver!” Aang exclaimed. “She’s really famous over here. She boasts a 95% success rate. Excluding the Kangaroo Island incident of course.

“Well I’d never heard of her. But I met with her a couple of days ago and she said she already found my perfect match. She arranged for us to get dinner tonight.”

“TONIGHT?!” Aang yelled, startling a pair of passing servants.

“Hush up!” Zuko hissed. “No one knows yet except Uncle and my council.”

“But what about Mai?” Aang asked. In the months after the war, he and Mai had become fast friends to everyone’s surprise. Retrospectively, it kind of made sense to Zuko. Aang was a lot like Ty Lee, and being the avatar meant that his life was far from boring. And despite his “upbeat attitude,” he was very accepting of “gloomy” people. It took Katara a little bit longer to warm up to Mai, but not by much. Ever since Mai broke up with him, Aang has been encouraging him to try to fix things.

“She’s still with Kei Lo as far as I know. The last time I saw him, he told me to back off and Mai took his side. I think it’s over.”

Aang was visibly disappointed by this, and Zuko added uncomfortably, “You said this matchmaker was really good, right? I’m sure whoever she sets me up with will be… lovely.”

Aang seemed to realize he was affecting Zuko. “Oh! I’m sure she will! But don’t you think it’s a bit dishonest to try to date someone else while you still have feelings for your ex? Isn’t that like cheating?”

Zuko thought about Aang’s words. “I… I don’t know. But I don’t really have a choice. I have a bunch of old guys breathing down my throat to have a kid. I have to start somewhere.”

Aang gave him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry. That’s rough, buddy.”

— —

Zuko took a deep breath and began to ascend the stairs. The Weaver had reserved an entire rooftop balcony for them. He wondered what his date was thinking about all of this. The matchmaker had not revealed his identity, but had apparently told her that he was an important official who required privacy. What if she’s angry that I didn’t tell her my identity first? Mai had always hated surprises. Spirits, she was beautiful when she despised things.

Uncle had given him a gift basket with an assortment of tea leaves and several coupons for the Jasmine Dragon. He assured Zuko that if his date was caught off-guard, the smell of the tea leaves would calm her. Zuko wasn’t sure if he believed that, but he trusted that uncle knew better than him, so he figured he should probably lead with the gift. When reached the door to the balcony, he rearranged the items of the gift basket one last time.

As he stepped on the terrace, he caught sight of a female figure. She was standing at the edge of the balcony, looking out over the city with her back turned. She had long black hair that she wore loose, and for a moment he almost tricked himself into thinking it was Mai. Maybe bringing up the hair was a mistake.

“Hello–”

She spun around, knives in hand. Agni, it was Mai!

“Zuko, what the fuck? How did you find out about my date?”

Zuko gaped at her, “I– I didn’t. This is supposed to be my date.”

Mai took in the gift-basket and his gelled hair. No doubt both courtesy of his uncle.

She buried her face in her hands and her shoulders began to shake. Zuko felt his heart fall into his stomach. He dropped the basket and ran to her side. “Please don’t cry. I didn’t mean–”

She let out a snort. He pried her hands away from her face to see she was… laughing. She giggled and chortled and it was honestly a bit disconcerting at first. He had never seen her so unrestrained.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She apologized breathlessly through her mirth. She finally composed herself enough to be coherent. “I just can’t believe I traveled to the other side of the world to be set up on a date with you!”

Zuko glowered and dropped her hands. “I could say the exact same thing!”

Mai suddenly became serious, “ I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that I was finally trying to move on and here you are.”

Zuko couldn’t believe this. “Again, I could say the same! No! I should be the only one saying that. You broke up with me. And you’re dating Kei Lo. Why are you even here? What do you mean ‘move on’?”

Mai crossed her arms. “For your information, Kei Lo broke up with me because I couldn’t let go of you.” Zuko felt a fluttering in his ribcage, but she didn’t stop there, “And I tried to be a good girlfriend, but you weren’t interested in my support. You would rather keep all your emotions locked away in your chest.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “You’re one to talk–”

“Hey! I’ve been doing better and you know it.”

He supposed that was true. After all, she was expressing herself with gusto today. He remembered Uncle’s calming tea and retrieved the basket. Luckily, it had landed right side up.

He walked back to Mai and extended it to her. No use in letting it go to waste. “For you.”

Mai looked like she was about to make another cutting remark, but then she noticed the contents. “Is this from Iroh?” He nodded and she accepted the basket. She picked up a sachet of spiced oolong and inhaled. “This always was my favorite. Thank you.” She hesitated, “Are you sure you don’t want to save this nice array for the next girl?”

Zuko huffed. “What next girl?”

He looked around the balcony for the first time, as if he thought some beautiful woman would emerge and save him from this awkwardness. There was a table piled high with food that was rapidly growing cold, and two chairs. Mai was glad she pilfered some dumplings before he arrived. Ty Lee made her spend hours getting ready and so she was starving. And now Zuko was probably going to kick her out before she got dinner.

Mai shrugged. “I don’t know. Whoever the Weaver sends you after me?”

“I didn’t actually see her of my own free will. It’s kind of a long story. Would you like to sit?” He gestured to the table. He pulled out her chair for her. Mai raised an eyebrow, but she set her basked to the side and accepted the gesture nonetheless. He sat across from her.

“So, start talking.” Mai quickly piled food onto her plate. If Zuko actually had a long story, she could finally eat.

“My advisors are concerned that I don’t have an heir. I currently have Kiyi listed, but… if something happens I don’t know if the people will accept her.”

Mai felt a chill run up her spine. “Zuko, you’re talking as though you’re going to croak any minute. Ty Lee told me that the situation was stabilizing and that was why you sent the Kyoshi warriors back to their island.”

Zuko took a bite of a steamed bun and refused to meet her gaze. Mai glared at him until he spoke, “The situation is stabilizing, but it will never be fully secure until the Fire Nation can operate independently. I heard some of the girls talking outside my office one day. They were feeling homesick. It was always meant to be a temporary post, and I didn’t want to force them to stay if they were unhappy. Anyway, Suki and Ty Lee had been personally training the replacement guards for some time anyway. So I ended their contract. And I gave them generous severance by the way.”

“Maybe independence isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Have there been more assassination attempts since they left?” Just like Mai to cut to the chase. For some reason, it made Zuko want to smile despite the serious topic.

“There have been two in the last four months. But the guards are improving, truly. I would not put my family in their care if I didn’t trust them.”

Mai nodded. “All the same, you would tell someone, right? If you were concerned.”

Zuko blinked in surprise. “Who would I tell?”

Mai wanted to flip the table. Instead she took a breath. Pretend you’re explaining a really difficult concept to Tom Tom. “You could tell Aang, or Katara, or Toph, or Sokka, or Suki, or Ty Lee. You know, any of your friends,” she deadpanned.

Zuko smiled, but it was bittersweet. “I’m trying to be better about reaching out. I acknowledge that in the past I haven’t been the best about that. But there are certain things that our friends can’t help me with. They all have their own responsibilities far away from Caldera City. This is something I need to figure out as the Fire Lord.”

Mai felt her heart twist. He didn’t hesitate to include her: ‘our friends.’ She forced herself to speak before she lost her nerve. “You could talk to me. I know things are awkward between us right now, but you’re one of my only childhood friends. I still care about you, Zuko. And I’m not volunteering to be your personal bodyguard or anything, but I don’t mind helping you vet the new recruits or spending some afternoons at the palace to help out.”

“That would be great!” Zuko accepted her offer without hesitation. He would always take whatever she was willing to give him. But then he remembered something she had said earlier. “Only if you’re sure that won’t interfere with your attempt to get over me. I don’t want to stand in the way of your happiness.”

Mai narrowed her eyes, trying to determine if he was making fun of her. And then she remembered what she said only moments ago in the heat of their argument. She felt her cheeks get hot. “Oh! That was… a bit of an over-exaggeration. I didn’t really want to see the matchmaker either. My mom and aunt were pressuring me, and then Ty Lee got on board. I guess their enthusiasm rubbed off on me more than I realized.”

Zuko smirked, “Yeah, you’re so easy to enthuse.”

Mai rolled her eyes and threw a dumpling at him. He had the good sense to duck and he came up laughing.

“So,” he began. “If you wanna hear about my problems, maybe we could start with this festival.”

Mai nodded, “You can tell me all about it until this table is empty.”

Zuko chuckled and quickly launched into complaints about his overbooked schedule and his ridiculous advisors. Mai listened intently, and, in turn, she regaled him with the trials and tribulations of the floral industry. When they finally parted, Yue was well into her nightly journey. Mai rejected Zuko’s offer of a personal escort home, but he insisted she take at least one of his guards. “I know you don’t need the protection, but I can’t have the restaurant owner think I’m an inconsiderate date.” As the pair disappeared into the city streets, Zuko couldn’t help smiling. Maybe Mai didn’t reciprocate his feelings, but she was miraculously his friend again and that was enough. He ought to send the Wedding Weaver a generous tip.

Later, as Mai slid into bed, she thought about her conversation with Zuko. He was so much more open now compared to when they broke up. Had she overreacted in ending things with him? Was it… possible that he was still willing to try again? She didn’t have satisfactory answers to these questions yet, but she had gotten one of her best friends back. That had to count for something.

— —

The First Annual Peace Extravaganza went on smoothly and historic treaties were agreed upon by the remaining three nations. However, nothing that happened was quite as historic as the Third Annual Peace Extravaganza, where the Fire Lord announced his engagement to his long-term girlfriend, Lady Mai. He shocked the world by declaring that their wedding would take place on the summer solstice, just three months away.

There was some talk about whether or not the two would be suitable rulers. In their not-so distant youth, the couple was said to have a tumultuous on-again and off-again affair. But she had been his steadfast companion for the past two years, and the royal council was happy to simply have the promise of a stronger bloodline.

The Wedding Weaver smiled when she heard the news. Since that fateful day, she learned that she was not the reason for the royal couple’s first meeting. By the time they reached her door, their life lines had long since been plied together into a single thread. She took up her place at her loom and began to weave.

— —

For Mai and Zuko, the time between their engagement and their wedding day passed in a blur. On top of their usual responsibilities of keeping a country running, they had to plan what was shaping up to be the largest party of the century. The festivities would take several days.

The first day was their traditional betrothal ceremony, made awkward by the conspicuous absence of their fathers. The awkwardness only grew. Mai’s uncle, the Warden of the Boiling Rock, had offered to take the place of her father, and kept threatening to revoke his approval, making Zuko promise and swear repeatedly on all the Spirits that he would never hurt Mai emotionally or physically. Uncle Iroh, who had taken the place of Zuko’s own father, found the situation quite amusing. Iroh and Mai had to hold back their laughter and the Warden made Zuko get on his knees and repeat his vows.

The second day was the wedding ceremony itself and Mai’s coronation. Zuko would always remember how beautiful Mai looked in the traditional robes. To the crowd’s– and Zuko’s– surprise, Mai openly cried tears of joy as she said her vows. She accepted her position as Fire Lady earnestly, and even the Sages were pleased. The entire Nation celebrated that night, while Mai and Zuko slipped away to celebrate privately.

The third day was reserved entirely for opening gifts from whoever the council deemed noteworthy. King Kuei had gifted them a large and rather unsightly bear statue that Mai decided could live in one of the many basement sitting rooms. Chief Arnook presented them with heavy duty and finely embroidered Water Tribe tunics for their next visit. Zuko was grateful but slightly disappointed. (On their previous trips to the North, Mai had clung to his side like a burr, seeking his inner fire. Now she would likely burrow into her heavy robes instead.) Chief Hakoda, at his children’s recommendation, gave them matching whale tooth knives. These were privately both Mai and Zuko’s favorite gift of the celebration.

Yet even after this event, they were left with an entire storeroom of gifts from citizens and well-wishers that would have to be dealt with eventually, which is where Mai and Zuko found themselves that evening.

“I don’t even know where to start with all of this,” Zuko sighed. “I don’t mean to be ungrateful, but it’s not like we’re lacking. I wish people would save their money.”

Mai wrapped her arms around her husband. The festivities were making her much more sentimental than usual. “I agree, but think about it this way: they gifted us these things because they appreciate what you’ve done as their leader. It’s all well-deserved.”

Zuko smiled and returned her embrace, “They’re your gifts too. The people are excited to have a Fire Lady again, and I’m so grateful that it’s you. I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else.”

Mai smiled and kissed him on the cheek, but she broke away from his hold after that. She wanted to make her way through at least some of this stuff before they left for their honeymoon after a few more days of public festivities. Everything had already been inspected for security purposes and the servants had created a separate section for gifts from people that they may have known personally. Mai made her way there, thinking it would be a good place to begin. Zuko followed and picked up a wrapped parcel with a familiar seal.

“No way,” he said, chuckling. “Mai, this is from our matchmaker!”

“Really?” she leaned into his side to read the attached note.

Dearest Fire Lord and Fire Lady,

From the moment I met the both of you, I could sense that you were destined to be a match. The string of fate between you is strong! By chance, I met you on the same day, and when the young Fire Lord spoke, it felt like he was describing you, Mai dear. It would be months before I learned that was perhaps truer than I could have guessed. Even though I did not bring you two together for the first time, I hope that the two of you are bound to stay. Please accept this token of my congratulations.

The Wedding Weaver

P.S. Zuko darling, thank you for the generous donations to my business.

Mai raised an eyebrow at ‘Zuko darling’. “You’ve been sending her money?”

“Well she got you back with me,” he replied. “I don’t regret a single copper piece!”

Mai laughed and unwrapped the parcel. Unsurprisingly, she gifted them a tapestry. It depicted the two of them standing side by side, surrounded by a border of their birth flowers. It was an impressive likeness considering that she had only seen them once and that she had rendered them in thread and not ink.

“Woah!” Zuko ran his hand along the stitches. “Do you think my council would let me hang this up instead of a royal portrait?”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think so,” Mai replied, “but this is way nicer than the bear statue. We should put it somewhere visible.”

“We should.” Zuko pulled his wife into another embrace. “Do you believe in strings of fate?” he asked, although he suspected he knew the answer.

“No,” Mai answered, “but if such a thing existed, then I believe it would exist between us.”

Zuko buried his face in her hair and smiled. This was about as sappy as Mai got. “I think so too.”

#atla maiko #atla mai #atla zuko #maiko #mai #zuko #atla #avatar the last airbender #mai x zuko #zuko x mai #maikoweek2024 #if Mai and Zuko don't get married in the Zuko movie I will RIOT

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tightjeansjavi · 9 months

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Slow Hands | Chapter 4

“I used to float, now I just fall down”

A/N: so I already forewarned that this was going to be a particularly heavy chapter. I also just want to say that I don’t claim to be a medical expert on the effects trauma can have on a person. I also do not self diagnose, but I did a lot of research on the reasoning behind why Beanie doesn’t have any recollection of what happened to her. I specifically researched‘dissociative amnesia’ caused by trauma. Some of the symptoms may include a person forgetting part or all of the traumatic event, and having a ‘foggy’ memory of trauma, or feeling like ‘it didn’t happen to you.’ However, even if you are unable to recall specific details, your body still does which would explain Beanie’s flight or fight response to specific sounds. Depending on the person, your body may associate certain sounds, sights, and smells to a specific traumatic event. Thank you for reading 🤎

~word count: 4.1k~

Pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: while on patrol, Tommy and Joel make a gruesome discovery.

Warnings: disturbing/distressing themes that may be harmful to some viewers. Please do not read if this kind of content upsets you. Violence, dead bodies, talk of the past, mention of murder, mentions of guns, mentions of chains, implied S/A by raiders, women held captive, trauma, trauma triggers, PTSD, possible diagnosis of dissociative amnesia (I do not claim to be an expert and just did some heavy research to make it accurately depicted in the story), protective! Joel, Beanie dissociates on her rooftop, implied suicidal thoughts, implied depression, isolation, some fluff towards the end, Joel is incredibly gentle with beanie, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions, readers nickname is beanie (coffee beans) +18, minors dni! Please heed the warnings!

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“What the hell do ya mean she doesn’t know what fuckin’ happened to herself? What does that even mean,Tommy?!” Joel was visibly frustrated, confused, and bewildered. His mind was already running circles as he tried to piece together what he knew about you. He was desperate to grasp some context clues that would ultimately lead to a conclusion as to what had happened to you. He gently pulled back on his horse's reins between a cluster of snow dusted evergreens.

Tommy, however, kept his horse moving and this frustrated Joel even further.

“Don’t you fuckin’ walk away from me like you’re deaf or somethin’ ,Tommy!”

The younger Miller brother cursed under his breath as he halted his horse a few strides ahead of Joel. Both brothers were deathly silent. Tommy rolled his shoulders, appearing to try and relieve some stress and tension that was building up. He gently pulled the inside rein towards his torso as he turned his horse around. “Would you fuckin’ keep your goddamn voice down? This is exactly why I don’t want to discuss this with you, Joel.”

“You think I give a damn? What, you just expect me to go ‘bout my business when she crumbled into my arms this morning?’ Tommy, you know me, you know I ain’t gonna let this go.” Joel’s tone was far softer now. His frustrations were still simmering below the surface like that of a once dormant volcano that was gradually becoming active once more.

“Look, Maria and I have our own assumptions about what happened to her. When we found her..she was in pretty fuckin’ rough shape. She was most likely traveling for days without food or water Joel. She was barely breathin’, and for a moment we thought she was long gone.”

“Well, that ain’t all surprising..considerin’ we’re livin’ in an apocalypse Tommy.” Joel fought the urge to scoff under his breath. Tommy wasn’t giving him a straight answer and he wasn’t having any of it.

“That ain’t the fuckin’ point, Joel. Maria..she found somethin’ on her.” Tommy trailed off as he focused anywhere but his brother’s face.

“Tommy, what the hell did she find? Spit it out, or so help me god–” He nearly growled out as his jaw clenched harshly under the pale white moonlight.

“Someone tried to fuckin’ carve her up. That’s what.” Tommy deadpanned.

“what?” Joel could feel the bile rise in his throat at this newfound utterly disturbing information. His pupils were blown wide and an unsettling chill rolled down his spine.

“You fuckin’ heard me. Some sick fucks tried to carve her up. Maria and I both think it was raiders.”

“..like us?” Joel’s question hung heavy in the air as both Miller brothers slowly looked over at one another. There was nothing for them to hide. They had both done unspeakable things to countless people. Some people deserved it..others? Not so much. Joel knew it would be impossible for him to wipe all of his sins and carnage completely clean. His moral compass had been skewed after Sarah died. His actions were fueled by rage and indescribable pain. But even though he was a murderer, and he,Tommy, and Tess committed heinous crimes together, even they had their limits.

“No, Joel. Not like us. We didn’t fuckin’ carve people up.” Tommy shook his head with a heavy sigh. Maria didn’t know half of the shit he had done to survive, and he hoped to god she would never find out.

“No, you’re right. We didn’t carve people up, but we did some terrible fuckin’ things, Tommy.” There was a heaviness in Joel’s voice that lingered in the frosty air.

“Yeah, we did. Endure and survive, right?” Tommy responded with a bitter laugh that slowly crept up his throat.

“So, when you say that they tried to carve her up..”

“Maria found a knife wound that pretty much wraps all the way up her torso and back. It was, and is gruesome.”

“Fuck.” Joel breathed out a puff of air as his heart began to hang heavy in his chest. “She doesn’t remember any of it?”

“No. We actually had Doc check her out after we brought her in, and he thinks she might have dissociative amnesia. He said it’s commonly found in patients that have dealt with an excessive form of trauma. Essentially, her brain is blocking out certain events to protect itself. He of course doesn’t know for sure, but that’s the best explanation he could give as to why she has a foggy memory of what happened to her. He also..thinks there’s a chance that she was heavily drugged for an extended period of time, which could have also led to her memory essentially being botched. That wasn’t..all that Doc found. He also said that after doing a full body exam–”

Joel cut him off immediately like a sharp knife slicing through a hunk of meat. “Stop. Not another word, Tommy. Not another fuckin’ word.” Joel whispered harshly under his breath. He could only imagine the hell you went through. God help those motherfuckers if he ever got his hands on them.

“All this is to say that she may never fully recover those memories. Frankly? It’s probably for the best. I’m entrustin’ you with this information, Joel. And I need you to promise me that you’re not going to go and ask her questions. I need you to bite your fuckin’ tongue on this one. Alright? Jus’ be her friend. Jus’ be there for her.”

Joel wanted to laugh. He wanted to bitterly laugh and shake his fists to the heavens above because how in the hell was he supposed to just deal with the guilt of having some form of knowledge on what happened to you. How was he supposed to look you in the eyes without imagining the horrors that you faced? How was he supposed to pretend?

“Tommy, you know I can’t–”

“I don’t give a damn on what you think you can’t do, Joel. I’m not about to let you or anyone for that matter go and traumatize that poor woman even more. Maria started treatin’ her different than everyone else at one point, and Beanie came to me one day and wanted to know why. I had to sit down with Maria and practically beg her to just treat her like a normal person. Folks ‘round here either think she’s the nutty coffee woman, or some fragile piece of china that is gonna shatter at any minute. She ain’t either of those things, but hey, I guess even an apocalypse can’t stop people from havin’ their judgements.”

“For the record, Tommy, I don’t think she’s either of those things either. Quirky? Sure. She’s better than half the folks in town. That is for damn certain.”

“Exactly. So just treat her like a normal person. Don’t go and try to be her savior either. She ain’t need savin. She just needs a friendly face that understands her.”

“I have a friendly face?” Joel murmured with a soft chuckle to alleviate the tension.

“Hardly, big brother.” Tommy softly joked back.

“So, just so I got this all straight, Doc said that he thinks she might have..dissociative amnesia..but then what about her triggers? Does he know about her episodes? Cus’ she looked at me like I was gonna fuckin’ hurt her. If her brain is tryin’ to block out the trauma..her body is still actively experiencing it?” Joel asked as he gently nudged his horse’s side to walk forward.

“Y’know how you have your own triggers? I’m thinkin’ that she does as well. However, hers are most likely associated with noise. When we first brought her in we had her stay at our place for awhile..and there was one mornin’ I was up early putzin’ around the kitchen and I guess the sound of a pan clatterin’ in the sink freaked her out. She kept tellin’ Maria someone was out to get her, but when Maria asked who, she couldn’t answer.”

“Well..that explains what happened this mornin.’ I jus’ uh—wanted to do somethin’ nice for her so I was shovelin’ her walkway. Maybe the sound of the shovel scrapin’ on the concrete triggered her?”

“Well, chivalry ain’t dead. That’s for damn sure. Yeah, I’m sure it triggered her flight or fight response. She wasn’t logically able to decipher what the noise actually was. Y’know, I'm pretty sure Doc has some books on this stuff if you wanna read up on it.”

Joel was just about to respond when his horse let out a nervous snort and pawed at the ground with his hoof. Horses were incredibly intuitive creatures. They could sense danger from a mile away.

Both Tommy and Joel were already grasping their rifles in a fight response. There was a drifting odor of smoke from a fire..at first Joel thought it was just a typical wood burning fire, until the putrid stench of rotting flesh hit his olfactory senses and it brought him right back to living in the QZ. His eyes watered, and his lungs burned. No doubt in his mind that there was a raider camp nearby.

“We should turn back right fuckin’ now Joel. We should go find the others—” Tommy hissed under his breath.

“No. We’re gonna go investigate. Lucas and Cody probably already detected the smoke as well. This ain’t the first time you and I have gone into somethin’ together. You cover me, and I’ll cover you. Deal?” It was incredible how fast Joel was able to switch back into survival mode. It was embedded deep within his bones, and it didn’t take much for it to be clawing right through his skin. He had been the hunter, more times than he had been the prey.

“If we’re outnumbered, then we split. Got it?” Tommy wasn’t about to go and risk his life tonight.

“Got it.” Joel agreed.

The raiders camp was only a few miles to the east from Jackson. The smoke was billowing high in the air as Joel and Tommy used the snowy evergreens as cover. They had since dismounted from their horses and continued on foot. The camp they stumbled upon was freshly abandoned..but why keep the fire going? Was the first thought that crossed both Joel and Tommy’s minds. They had the barrel of their rifles aimed at the ready as they cautiously crept through the camp. The smell of rotting flesh only began to intensify as they neared the source of the fire.

What they stumbled upon was nothing short of gruesome. Five bodies in total stacked upon chopped down logs. It was difficult to make out facial features, as the deceased bodies were charred to a crisp. One thing was for certain, these people were not infected.

“Were they killed for sport?” Tommy questioned as Joel slowly crouched down next to a body that wasn’t as scorched completely. He could make out feminine features and long follicles of hair. He could feel the bile churn deep in the pit of his stomach as he looked away and pressed his face into the collar of his jacket to try and block out the smell. “These are women, Tommy. Five of ‘em. All dead.”

“Jesus fuck. What the hell happened here?” Lucas and Cody had smelled the fire as well. They were in utter disbelief as they approached the slow burning fire.

“Raiders.” Joel muttered under his breath as he slowly stood back up. His knees cracked from the movement as he grinded his teeth together to block out the uncomfortable tightness in his back.

“Were they infected?” Lucas had asked.

“No. They were just..people.” Tommy somberly confirmed.

Silence washed over the four men as they retreated from the fire. Joel kicked at a pair of heavy chains that laid upon the ground with his boot. “These women were prisoners.”

“We need to put this fire out, and then report back to Maria immediately. She’s goin’ to want to hear about this, and I already know she ain’t gonna be happy.” Tommy muttered as he slung his rifle strap along his shoulder.

“Tommy, we can’t just leave them here. They deserve a proper burial. They deserve to be laid to rest..” Joel couldn’t help but wonder how long these five women were enslaved. Could they have been saved if the patrol group had left earlier? Five lives could have been saved if only he had just—

“Joel, I hear you brother, but the ground is too hard. We can’t bury them. I’m sorry.” Tommy was sorry. These five women deserved better. He wanted to be able to bring them peace as well, but some things were just not possible.

“Fine. I’ll fuckin’ do it myself.” Joel snapped as he slung his rifle strap over his shoulder in one swift movement. He started the trek back to his horse while Lucas and Cody kicked a bit of snow over the dying embers.

Joel returned with a blanket from his saddle bag. He was going to attempt to move the bodies, but he was afraid that their charred bones would shatter. Instead he gently laid the blanket over their remains. He stood there for a good solid five minutes just staring down at the snow covered earth with a clenched jaw, before he finally walked away.

For the entirety of the somber ride back to Jackson, Joel was dead silent.

It had felt like months had passed since you had last seen Joel Miller. In all actuality, it had only been one month. Your brain was just going all doomsday mode on you and convincing you it had been longer. At first you had tricked yourself in believing that maybe Joel didn’t actually want to be your friend. Maybe he was just lying. Maybe he too thought of you as just the nutty coffee woman. It wasn’t till Maria had given you a surprise visit to your little coffee shop. While she was quietly sipping on her latte, you couldn’t help but ask if she had seen Joel lately. You felt slightly pathetic with a sprinkle of naivety. Were you really that desperate for human connection?

“I assigned him, Tommy and a few other men to patrol the late night shift. They stumbled upon something in the woods, and brought it to my attention. Now, before you start freaking out, we are safe here. What they found was just concerning, and they’re making sure that there is no active threat that we need to pay any concern to.”

You paused the movements of the towel below your palm as you were wiping down the countertop. “Oh. I thought maybe he just..nevermind. What exactly did they find in the woods that was concerning, Maria?”

“Beanie, you know I can’t disclose that to you. All I need you to remember is that you're safe. That’s why we have patrol parties. They keep everyone in the commune safe. I just figured you were deserving to know that Joel hasn’t been blowin’ you off for the past month. Him and Tommy are resting in the morning after patrolling all night. It shouldn’t be an issue now that the weather is starting to shift. Usually means that people are movin’ on as resources will be plentiful again.”

You let out a sigh as you crossed your arms over your chest. It did feel silly in some way that you let your brain convince you that Joel was in fact blowing you off. “Yeah.” You mumbled under your breath. “I know why you can’t disclose that information to me.”

“You’ll see him in a few weeks, Beanie. Don’t worry.” Maria reassured you.

By the time that you did see Joel again, winter wasn’t quite ready to release her icy grip around the earth. She was going to cling on just a bit longer. It was late at night and to put it simply? You were having a rough time. Spending the majority of your day alone was beginning to close in around you. The thoughts were growing louder and louder, and the nightmares you had begun to experience were the same sequence over and over like a vicious cycle that you were sucked down into, unable to escape its painful clutches. That's how you found yourself sitting alone on your roof. Your bedroom window was opened just enough that you were able to climb out onto the roof tiles. You were shivering at first, trembling as your teeth rattled against your jaw. Soon enough, the nipping chill didn’t feel as painful. A peaceful numbness washed over you as if you were in a trance.

Joel had just gotten back from being on patrol. He stopped at the stables to untack his horse, Tex and then he was heading home. He passed by your house every night, and he would stop at your front gate, debate seeing if you were awake, before he would ultimately decide going straight home was easier. On this particular night he was torn from his path home. All because he swore he saw a shadowy figure sitting on your rooftop. He thought maybe his own mind was playing tricks on him until he stepped closer to your house. He was then able to make out a human shape sitting upon the roof tiles. He didn’t even have to guess hard if it was you sitting up there. He just knew.

He called your name, and you didn’t budge a smidge.

“For fuck sakes.” He muttered under his breath as he cupped his hands on either side of his face and yelled your name once more. “BEANIE!” This time his baritone voice broke through the figurative icy shell that was wrapped around you like a cloak. You finally looked down, squinting through the vast darkness.

“Woman is gonna fuckin’ freeze to death out here. Fuck. What the hell is she doin’ up there anyway?!?” He muttered to himself as he pushed open your gate. “I’m comin’ up!” He yelled from the top step of your front porch.

Joel?

The sounds of his heavy boot steps descending up your staircase sounded muffle to your ears as you slowly dropped your chin to rest along your kneecap.

“Jesus fuck, Beanie. What the hell are you doin’ out here?” Joel harshly whispered as he pushed open your bedroom door. He had genuine concern stricken through his hardened features.

“Sitting outside on the roof.” You murmured.

“Yeah, ya don’t say? I can see that you’re sittin’ on the roof, but its fuckin’ freezin’ out here. Why don’t ya have a jacket? A blanket? Beanie, you’re gonna fuckin’ freeze to death out here.” He was already slipping his own jacket off of his shoulders and gently placing it along your shoulders as he carefully climbed through the window and onto the roof beside you.

“I don’t really feel the cold anymore, Joel.” There was a lack of emotion in your tone as your eyes slowly flitted over to him.

“Fuck. Well, that ain’t good either, darlin.’”

“I just..needed to breathe. I felt like I was suffocating in there.”

“Somethin’ happen? How long..have you been feelin’ this way Beanie?” Joel asked you softly as he met your soft gaze.

“I don’t know. A while?”

Joel sighed as he rested his weight back on his palms. “Well, I've felt that way before too. Numerous times actually. I’ll have these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere, and…my heart feels like it’s stopped.” He softly admitted.

“Like…you can’t breathe?”

“Yeah, like there’s water in my lungs instead of oxygen. Like i’m drownin’ and no matter how hard I swim, I can’t make it to the surface.” He murmured.

“Like..the darkness is closing in? Swallowing you whole?”

“Yeah, but that’s why you gotta look for the light. When you're lost in the darkness, look for the light.”

Joel’s words hung heavy in the air as you both sat in silence, looking up at the vast array of stars that were outshone by the brilliant pale white moon. Shining like a beacon in the inky black sky.

“Joel?” You asked through the growing silence.

“Hm darlin?’”

“Joel, what keeps you moving forward?”

Joel didn’t even have to give a single thought to your question. He already knew the answer. It was family. Family was the one thing that kept moving him forward in this new life.

“Family. You keep goin’ for family.” He confirmed as he watched the way you absentmindedly scratched at your arm, wiggled your nose as you let out a puff of icy air. “I don’t have any family.”

“That ain’t true at all. We’re friends, you and I. Friends can be family. What about Maria and Tommy? Wouldn’t you consider them to be your family as well?” Joel was looking straight into your eyes now as he softly spoke.

“You..consider me to be your family?”

“Darlin’, absolutely I do. You are my family. Why do you think I'm up here with ya right now?”

“To keep me from freezing to death?”

“Well, yes. But also because..I like spendin’ time with you. You think I'd come up here if I didn’t care about ya? I got a bad back and knees, darlin.’ One fatal slip off here and I'm toast.” He stifled a chuckle as his hand was now resting close to your own along the roof tiles

“Please, don’t fall.” Your pinky slowly looped around his.

“I ain’t gonna fall, dontcha worry.”

“Well, for the record, I'm glad you came up here.” There was a ghost of a smile on your lips as you looked over at him once more.

“Me too.” He gave your pinky a gentle squeeze. “Hey, if ya want..maybe you can go spend some time with Dina and Ellie? Help out around the stables? I know they can always use an extra set of hands.” He softly suggested.

“I guess I could do that, huh? I could use some more fresh air and I do like to see the horses.”

“Well, there ya go darlin.’ Sounds like you got it all figured out. I just know they’ll also appreciate seein’ another friendly face. Ellie ain’t got many friends either beside Dina and Jesse. I uh—think you’ll get along really well.”

“Joel?..” you asked as your cheek came to rest along his covered shoulder.

His heart skipped a beat as he did his best to not move and disturb you.

“Yeah Beanie?” He gently asked.

“Thank you.”

“What are ya thankin’ me for?” He asked as he cleared his throat under his breath.

“For being my friend.”

His heart had nearly just gone and burst right out of his chest as the frigid air turned the tips of his cheeks and nose bright red. He was secretly thankful that it was far too dark for you to detect the blush rising on his skin.

“You’re welcome darlin.’”

The sun was just beginning to peek above the horizon when Joel had finally convinced you to go back inside. He was genuinely concerned that parts of your body were frozen. Despite his aching back, and tired joints, he stayed with you until he felt like you were safe. His eyelids were beginning to droop as he rested his palm along his chin. His head bobbed as he struggled to stay awake. You were busy making a fresh pot of coffee and homemade cinnamon rolls, and you didn’t see his slumped form until you had turned around.

“Fiddlesticks,” you softly murmured as you set your bowl down and attended to his side. You gently shook his shoulder a few times before he was startled awake.

“Hey, how about you go and lay down on the couch? Rest up before you head home?”

You didn’t have to ask him twice as he slowly pulled himself up from the kitchen chair and trudged into the family room. You followed him shortly after and grabbed the thick quilt from alongside the couch and draped it over his sleeping frame. His arms were crossed over his chest as he snored softly through his much deserved slumber.

When he awoke hours later, there was a mug of coffee on the coffee table next to the couch along with a freshly baked cinnamon roll. Under the plate there was a scribbled note that read, Went to go see Dina and Ellie at the stables. Make yourself at home. -Beanie

He carefully tucked the note into his flannel pocket as he sat up. He took a hefty swig from the mug of coffee before he picked up the cinnamon roll. It smelled heavenly. With just the right amount of cinnamon and vanilla as the icing slowly oozed down the sides of his fingers. His first bite nearly had him moaning from the sugary taste. He devoured the entire thing, before drifting right back off to sleep with his arms wrapped tightly around the quilt that you had laid on him.

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