#also i'm like. this is his life at the end of the day
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The Alchemy
pairing: oscar piastri x norris reader; lando norris x sister reader; talks about carlos sainz x norris reader (past relationship)
series: the tortured poets department
synopsis: the alchemy is a term coined in the old days before chemist but back then the aim was to produce gold from other elements by mixing certain chemicals. knowing that she is now with the man of her dreams; she came out of the dark in which she has stayed in for a very long time and found the person in which there was 'no denying the alchemy' that if they were together, there's gold, which to her means love.
warnings: literally none because it's all fluff
author's note: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU'VE GIVEN THIS SERIES 🥹😭🩶 also i had a different collage for this but i didn't like it so here's a new one
This happens once every few lifetimes
These chemicals hit me like white wine
Marriage happens every few lifetimes, but not for you. You once thought you were going to marry Carlos. Looking back now, you're extremely grateful that you didn't marry Carlos last year. The 'chemicals' of love that you had with Carlos had an intoxicating effect similar to white wine.
I circled you on a map
I haven't come around in so long
But I'm coming back so strong
After the Australian Grand Prix, you and Oscar decided to spontaneously get married here since all of the important people in your life are here in his home country. The wedding ceremony was being held at the beach that Oscar's parents had private access to.
As you're walking down the aisle with your father, you start tearing up seeing Oscar wait for you at the alter. Everything you've always wanted is finally happening.
Once you reach the alter, your father gives your hand to Oscar. "Take care of my daughter." Your father smiles as tears form in his eyes.
"Forever and always." Oscar says to your father and takes your hand from him. Oscar walks you up the alter and you both look at Zak. Zak was officiating the wedding ceremony.
"The bride and groom have decided to say their vows to each other." Zak looks at you telling you to go first.
"Oscar Jack Piastri. I can't believe we're getting married after 4 months of knowing each other." You smile in disbelief that you're actually getting married. "I remember when we first met, we had a shot of tequila together cheering to new beginnings for both of us. That night Lando ended up wasted while I was a little bit tipsy. You drove us back to our hotel on an empty Las Vegas Strip. The song 'Downtown Lights' by the Blue Nile started playing in your McLaren and we found that we both loved this song. We sang it loudly while Lando was passed out drunk in the back seat. I didn't know it at that time but it was going to be alright because I found the love of my life." Oscar wipes the tears falling from his face while you continue to speak.
"That week was the first time coming back to the paddock in so long. I remember breaking down in Lando's room because of something an ex said about my papaya family and I. You were so worried about me even though our relationship was barely building. I remember you told me 'it's time to crack these locks from him and start throwing rocks at that past relationship.' After that night I circled you on the map of my heart and came back so strong." You finish your set of vows and the Oscar speaks his.
Cause the sign on your heart
Said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
"Y/N Marie Norris. If you're shocked that we're getting married after 4 months of knowing each other. Well honey, I'll do you one better. I'm surprised I'm marrying a MILF." Everyone including you two laughed at the joke Oscar made about you being older. "But in all seriousness, I'm so happy I'm getting to marry you. I remember when you told me that night in Abu Dhabi that you loved me. I was the happiest man alive because I started to love you too." Tears start dripping from your face as you recall the night in Abu Dhabi.
"I know you have been through the slammer in your past relationship, but the universe knew your heart was always reserved for me. There was no reason to fight to alchemy because you're the one for me."
Once Oscar finishes his vows, Zak continues with the ceremony. You two put your rings on each other and Zake announces you two as Mr. and Mrs. Piastri.
yourinstagram thank you to the man that dumped me, i found the man the universe reserved for me 💍🤍✨
oscarpiastri i love my milf wife 😏
yourinstagram LOVE, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET ME PREGNANT BEFORE YOU CALL ME THAT
landonorris you're basically a milf @/yourinstagram
yourinstagram i'm only 26 😭
landonorris you're basically 30 at this point sister, you can't deny it. please give me a niece/nephew soon 🙏 leo can't be my only nephew, he needs a cousin
charlesleclerc i agree with this. @/yourinstagram @/oscarpiastri please have a child soon so leo can have a play mate.
alexandrasaintmleux preferably a human one so i can convince charles to give me one too @/yourinstagram @/oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri i'll start working on it soon 🫡
user1 OSCAR'S COMMENT IS SO UNHINGE I LOVE IT HAHAHA
user2 i love that lando is playing along with it too HAHAHA they were always meant to be family 🥹
user3 i love that alexandra and charles are playing along too
user4 maybe baby piastri might be coming soon 👀
oscarpiastri honestly, who are we to fight to alchemy? mr. and mrs. piastri 💍
yourinstagram the love of my life 🥺🤍✨
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logansargeant so glad you found the girl of your american dreams
liked by author and yourinstagram
landonorris STOP RUBBING OFF ON MY MAN HE'S AUSTRALIAN
yourinstagram excuse me @/landonorris he's legally mine now step aside
zbrownceo congrats @/yourinstagram and @/oscarpiastri 💍🧡
liked by author and yourinstagram
yourinstagram thank you zak for officiating the wedding. this wouldn't have happened without you 🥹
mclaren the papayas are now married 🥹🧡 congrats @/yourinstagram and @/oscarpiastri 💍 now we need papaya babies
racerbia please we need a papaya baby around the paddock @/yourinstagram and @/oscarpiastri 🥹👶🧡
yourinstagram we're working on it @/mclaren @/racerbia 🫡
user1 BABY PAPAYA IS IN THE WORKS!!!
f1news A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN: After 4 months of knowing each other, Oscar Piastri and Y/N Norris, Piastri's teammate's sister, decided to tie the knot. This is definitely better than the disaster that happened last July with Ferrari driver, Carlos Sainz.
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Piastri!
user1 the way she went from thinking she lost the love of her life to then finding the love of her life on the team where she truly belonged at 🥹🧡
user2 CARLOS BETTER BE CRYING AT WHAT COULD'VE BEEN
user3 papaya love 🥺🧡
****
I haven't come around in so long
But I'm making a comeback to where I belong
After your wedding and honeymoon, you shortly found out that you were 10 weeks pregnant. You didn't notice you were pregnant at first with all the traveling you do until you took a break on your honeymoon. At the end of the trip, you felt like you had a stomach bug but it wasn't. When you went to the doctor to check what was wrong, she calmed you down by telling you that you were pregnant.
You've never seen Oscar so happy in your life other than your wedding day; you were shock on the other hand. At the doctor visit you asked your doctor when she thought the baby was conceived and she said January 22. That was the night when you made love for the first time.
"I still can't believe I'm pregnant," you exclaim as you two were relaxing on the couch. Oscar puts his hands on your stomach and starts rubbing it. "I don't think I can go to the races anymore."
"I know honey, it's okay." Oscar kisses your lips softly. "I know you'll support your favorite guys no matter what."
"Actually you're my favorite, Lando is ..." As you were about to continue you started to remember the comment Lando put on your wedding post. "Lando is going to be so happy that he's getting a niece or nephew soon."
"I understood the assignment Lando, Charles, and Alexandra told me to do." You laugh together recalling how they all wanted you two to start having a child as soon as possible.
****
For your 27th birthday, you decided to celebrate in Miami where Lando and Oscar were racing at. Even though Oscar wasn't on the podium that day, you were so happy for Lando. Finally Lando got his first ever win in F1.
Once Lando got away from the crowd and back into his private room in the garage, you decided to congratulate him. "Congrats little bro. It's been a long time coming." You hug Lando tightly but then he pulls away feeling your 15 week baby bump.
"Y/N are you pregnant?" Lando asks still on his high of happiness, you nod yes and Lando gets more excited. "YES THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"
"That's why she hasn't been coming to the races because we wanna make sure the baby is safe." Oscar explains to a very happy Lando.
"My doctor finally approved me to travel to certain countries. I'm making a comeback to where I belong." You smile as Lando hugs you one more time.
****
The next race you went to was Emilia Romagna Grand Prix, you were currently 18 weeks pregnant. You decided to stay in Oscar's private room since you wanted to ditch the crowds.
Once the race was over and the crowds went home, Oscar, Lando, and Charles with Alexandra came into Oscar's private room to see you. You had messaged Alexandra earlier telling her you wanted to catch up with her and meet baby Leo.
"Hey Y/N ..." Alexandra stops talking after seeing your growing baby bump. "OH MY GOD YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!" Charles finally comes in with baby Leo in his hands.
"You understood the assignment." Charles smiles at Oscar and gives him a side hug. "Congrats my friend."
Your celebration of happiness was interrupted by a Spanish man knocking on your door, "Lando where are you?"
Lando opens the door wide to let the Spanish driver in, "What's up Carlos?"
"I just wanted to congratulate you on getting 2nd. It was one hell of a fight." He smiles at Lando until he looks around and is confused what's going on. "Why are you guys here?" Asking Charles and Alexandra.
Alexandra, happy for your bundle of joy says, "Y/N is pregnant. Isn't it exciting?"
"It is," you smile at Carlos with your pregnancy glow radiating off you. "Oscar was so excited when we found out we were going to have a baby girl. As soon as we told Lando about the gender, him and Oscar were online shopping on the couch together." You look back at Alexandra telling her about your pregnancy.
"My niece needs to have the best of the best. Oscar and I were looking at the McLaren merch to see if the factory can make baby versions of it." Carlos didn't care what Lando was saying because all of his attention was on you. Oscar's hands were wrapped around you and your midsection. "Carlos are you listening?"
"Yeah," Carlos coughs. "Congrats on your pregnancy Y/N and Oscar." Carlos says and leaves the McLaren room.
Shirts off, and your friends lift you up over their heads
Beer sticking to the floor
Cheers chanted, cause they said
There was no chance, trying to be
The greatest in the league
Where's the trophy?
He just comes running over to me
It was the end of the Monaco Grand Prix, Charles had won the race and Oscar was in second place. As soon as Oscar parked his car and ran out to you so he can hug and kiss. All cameras were on you two as this was the first time you were showing your baby bump to the public. Before Oscar went up to the podium, he kneeled down and kiss your baby bump.
The rest of the McLaren plus Lando, lifted Oscar away from you so that he can get to the podium. There Oscar and Charles got their trophies while you and Alexandra were smiling happily at them. Once the national anthems were played, the drivers got to spray each other with champagne.
There's no chance to be the greatest in league due to Max's dominance in F1, but you knew Oscar was on a high right now in life. From getting married, to soon having a baby girl, and now getting his first podium of the season. Life was just beautiful.
These blokes warm the benches
We been on a winning streak
He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an "E"
Once Charles was done with his post race interview, the interviewer starts talking to Oscar. "Congrats Oscar on your first podium of the season and becoming a father soon. It's amazing how these two happened weeks apart."
"Thank you for the congratulations. From getting married at my home country, to finding out we'll be having a baby girl, to now getting my first podium of the season. I'm truly on a high with life right now." Oscar smiles at the camera knowing that you're watching the post race interview with Lando.
"Right now McLaren is in 3rd place for constructor's standings compared to last year's standings at 6th place. Tell me what you and Lando are doing for the team." The interviewer asks.
"Well Lando has been on a winning streak getting podiums after China but to be honest we're not doing anything different. It's all my wife's doing. I joke with her that she's like heroin but this time with an 'E' at the end." Everyone except for Carlos in the room laughs at Oscar's little joke.
"And soon you're going to be having a baby girl." Charles adds to the conversation. "You'll have two lucky charms on track." They both smile at the interviewer before they move on to Carlos' interview.
This happens once every few lifetimes
yourinstagram this happens once every few lifetimes 🌊 ✨
tagged oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri thank god for the alchemy or else our love would've never created this ✨
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taylorswift congrats mama can't wait to meet her
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user1 mother swift approves of oscar and y/n using the alchemy lyrics 🥹
user2 MOTHER IS ACTUALLY BECOMING A MOTHER AHHHHH
mclaren BABY PAPAYA COMING SOON 🥺👶🧡✨
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baby papaya coming soon 🧡
tagged yourinstagram
mclaren baby papaya is already so loved by the mclaren family 🥺🧡
liked by author and yourinstagram
racerbia yay! i get to be a tita aunt to a little papaya 🧡
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landonorris IM CALLING DIBS ON BEING THE GOD FATHER
yourinstagram i already picked a god father and it isnt you
landonorris WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ISN'T ME?
charlesleclerc it's me and alex
landonorris WHAT!! @/yourinstagram @/oscarpiastri say sike 😭
oscarpiastri she's messing around with you of course your the god father
landonorris thank god 😅
charlesleclerc have another one already so i can be the god father to that one
yourinstagram LET ME HAVE MY BABY FIRST
user1 not lando and charles fighting over who's gonna be the god father 🤣
user2 i love how they’re calling the baby "baby papaya" instead of "baby piastri" 🥺
f1news BABY PAPAYA COMING SOON: After Oscar's first podium of the season, the couple has announced that they are expecting their first bundle of joy weeks after getting married. The driver had made it know that Y/N Piastri, his wife and teammate's sister, was expecting after running to her before he went on the podium.
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Piastri on your bundle of joy!
user1 OSCAR MOVING IN THE FAST LANE WHILE CARLOS IS GETTING HIS HEART PUNCTURED LIKE HIS WHEEL 🤣
user2 wonder how carlos is feeling after seeing his ex fiance go from getting married to now being pregnant in a span of a few weeks
user3 who cares because he missed his shot of having this in his life
user4 did you see that carlos was about to cry while oscar was talking about y/n and the baby? 😭
tagged: @omgsuperstarg @splaterparty0-0 @2pagenumb @c-losur3
#f1#taylor swift#lando norris x reader#the tortured poets department#carlos sainz x reader#f1 x reader#lando norris#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#carlos sainz#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#charles leclerc#charles lecrelc#mclaren#ferrari#fluff
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[ 💿 ] . . . TAPE 9
いつでも君のそばにいること / それが何より大切さ 君も / 僕の隣にいるなら完璧 ay ya ya / 広い like the sky
☁️ "24h" by seventeen
being loved by kim mingyu means having a small big teddy bear as a boyfriend. the fact that mingyu is quite clingy not only means that you always have someone to hug, kiss, or cuddle with - but also that he is your oasis who is able to ground you. his touch, whether it's a thumb brushing your cheek, strong arms around your shoulders, or just a hand on your thigh - mingyu is always able to convey so much emotion through a simple touch, as if he was silently telling you "i'm here, don't worry." besides, there is no place where you would feel safer than in his embrace - he is your home, your safe haven, your other half that makes you feel whole.
being loved by kim mingyu means having a travel buddy with whom you could travel the whole world with if you wished. apart from physical touch, mingyu thrives off quality time - he would spend all his time with you if he could, because what's better than spending time with the people you love? and combine it with his love of travelling and discovering new places? exploring the world with mingyu would be the most beautiful adventure of your life, because this boy has the power to turn every moment into a magical and unforgettable one. whether it would be sunny italy or ice-cold iceland, every place and every thing you did would be a memory that you would treasure for the rest of your life.
being loved by kim mingyu means having someone who will always be by your side to help you get up when you fall. he's always there for you when you need him, it doesn't even need to be mentioned, but while some people coward when they see their partner going through harder times and needing more support, mingyu would go through even the hardest part of your life with you. no matter how ugly it would get, how hard it would be for you to get up - mingyu is your pillar who would always stand by you.
being loved by kim mingyu feels like a warm home to which you come back after a hard day, like the smell of the sea, like hot chocolate on a rainy day, like a hug that you don't want to end.
“i’m yours for ever -- for ever and ever. here i stand; i’m as firm as a rock. if you’ll only trust me, how little you’ll be disappointed. be mine as i am yours.”
- henry james, portrait of a lady
#seventeen#seventeen reactions#svt reactions#seventeen imagines#seventeen kpop#seventeen x you#seventeen x reader#seventeen carat#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen reaction#seventeen scenarios#mingyu fluff#mingyu imagines#mingyu scenarios#mingyu x reader#mingyu seventeen#kim mingyu#mingyu x you#mingyu x y/n#svt#mingyu#seventeen mingyu#svt kim mingyu#kim mingyu x reader
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Retired Villain
( ๑Batfam X Reader - Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne and Tim Drakeﾉ♡ )
Masterlist
╠You'd put your reckless lifestyle behind in favor of living a boring civilian life, knowing that you wouldn't get anywhere in life if you kept getting beaten up and sent to jail over and over like it was the only thing life had to offer.
You thought that putting your past behind you and creating yourself a fresh start would finally put the bats off your trail...
But sadly for you, it had only taken your cities vigilantes about two weeks to find out where you lived.
Even though they'd found out where you lived and how you'd decided to turn your life around they didn't believe it.
And instead of taking the information at face value they'd decided to check up on you in person.
And that they did.
Now you would've thought that they'd leave you alone after just the first few times but no, they'd started popping up everywhere. Using the excuse of your old atrocities to monitor you almost every waking moment of the day.
And when I say every I mean every.
Your at the supermarket, buying food like everyone else and Nightwing just randomly shows up out of nowhere. Bugging you and using the excuse of monitoring you to justify his presence.
"I know times are dire but stealing milk from the supermart?" you could see his outline in your peripheral, propping himself up against the fridge next to you.
He's shaking his head playfully before moving to take your cart away from you. You knew he was aware that you weren't gonna steal anything but apparently teasing you was his new favorite hobby.
"For the last time, I'm not stealing anything from this store" you huffed before dumping the carton of milk into the cart he'd taken from you.
"This store, so how about the next one?"
You could already feel the gray hairs sprouting, it was like he was sucking all the energy out of you and you could do nothing about it.
Well, at least he helped you with the shopping right?
While your on your way making your way to work one of the Robins will just mysteriously appear next to you, specifically the youngest one. Always giving off a clear air of distaste towards your entire being but still accompanying you on your way to work.
"Don't you have school kid?" you ask, it was like nine in the morning and he was casually walking next to you as if he didn't have somewhere to be right now.
"I don't need to go to school, besides I'm stuck monitoring criminals like you" he stated and you could already feel him drilling holes into the side of your head.
This kid really has no chill...
"Well if it makes you feel any better I also don't like having people watch me 24/7" you could feel your shoulders sag at the thought of having to put up with the bat and his tiny army of children.
Even when you were simply relaxing in your humble abode they'd still had the audacity come ruin your little alone time.
You were just relaxing in your pyjamas, munching on some popcorn and enjoying the fact that for once you were finally all by yourself when suddenly a figure hauls themselves over the edge of your window sill and crashes onto the floor of your apartment.
Of course your quick to push yourself off your couch and grab a weapon from the hidden compartment in your chair only to realize that your intruder was just another one of batman's minions.
"Red, you can't be serious" you immediately drop you weapon and walk over to his crumpled form.
He looked like he just went through hell, which was pretty sad since you knew he was just a kid on the inside but batman's sidekicks always seemed a little on the younger side.
"Are you crashing for the night?" He'd already done this before, always denying the fact that he was staying the night but always ends up staying anyway.
"No, I'm not" he muttered to himself, crumpling even more into himself but flinching when one of his wounds comes into contact with his detached gear.
"Right, your monitoring me" you played along, allowing him to believe that he was leaving anytime soon but you could already see his body relaxing it self.
"By the way, your crashing on the couch Tonight" you'd at least allow him to stay somewhere in your house, knowing that the supposed 'Batcave' that they always spoke about was somewhere on the other side of Gotham.
He should be lucky that he's your favorite, because ain't no way were you allowing any of the other bats anywhere near your house. Let alone side of it.╣
#batfamily x reader#batfam x reader#batfam x you#batman x reader#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson#tim drake x you#tim drake x reader#tim drake#damian wayne x y/n#damian wayne x you#damian al ghul x reader#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne#dc#dc x you#batfam#batfamily#batman
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The hypocrisy on fandom's reaction of "fell too soon" for friends to lovers
I find it very RICH on the fandoms reaction to S3 and the he "fell too soon" for Penelope. I mean honestly it is a bit spit in your face fantastic the way certain parts of the fandom are wretching on themselves to make that point.
"He didn't like her in season 1." I'm sorry, Can't hear you over "I'm to escort Miss Featherington to the floor" in EPISODE 1. That's what a friend does when a bitch spills her drink on a girl you were having a polite conversation with. Or how about hanging out with her laughing and gossiping like silly goofballs on the side of the dance floor, didn't see him doing that with other people either. Because they were FRIENDS.
"There was no build up previously to show there was a level of friendship there where he saw her any differently than a sister." Ok children...lets move to Season 2. We can talk about the race track and how they spoke about his travels which was very comfortable and very much NOT like a sister. They had an ease, like people who, oh I don't know, had been communicating personally all summer long via letters. And then lets go to Edwina's night where he shares with her that her letters allowed him to get in touch more with HIMSELF. something also so very personal he would not just share that with anyone. (I'll get to this in another point)
"He just suddenly likes her after he kisses her." Big ball of monkey shit here. Colin Sensitive Bridgerton was getting to know himself back in Season 2. He told Pen as much when he gave her the "You are Pen" line. And yes we all gasped and grabbed our pearls at the You are not a woman line, but it was not meant as an insult. Colin inserts his foot so many times throughout the seasons, you would think he could run a mile with his head. He simply means that she is such a dear friend to him he could not forswear her from his life. He has put her in a different category all together in his life. He makes this point when talking to her about Cousin Jack. He calls her constant and loyal and makes mention that their relationship has been so natural to him. He also just soooooo easily makes mention to HER MOTHER that he's been talking to her about things that would make other women blush. Like he doesn't even see it himself that she's just a totally different place for him. He didn't have to kiss her to like her. He already did.
"It all just felt too rushed." I could go on about how they had conversations about their purpose or lack there of, in season 2, more than once might I add, conversations that you would not normally have with members of the opposite sex. The fact that he has told her and proved that he would look after her, he has called her special to him. He has had feelings for her for seasons. Don't get started about the longing stares, they have been there since season 1. You have to actually open your eyes and look at them. Yes there was the whole infatuation of the Marina thing. Of course there was. But if you look at his mannerisms during the entire thing, it screams at you the difference.
But dare I say the biggest and most annoying hypocrisy of them all is that this build up of 2 seasons of them growing friendship, talking and learning about each other, developing feelings for each other regardless if they know what they mean... suddenly is rushed. BUT when compared to other seasons where a brand new face appears and we are to believe that in a weeks time our beloved character is now madly, deeply in love with this person and YOU BUY THAT WITH ALL THE SUGAR IT COMES WITH! Burning for you and Bane of my existence and all????
At the end of the day...live in your trope. I sat through those seasons. I cried through their HEA, I was happy for them. You can dislike the characters for other reasons. Dislike how they wrote parts of the season, don't like the plot points but don't make the excuses above that don't add up.
If you don't enjoy my trope, fine. But please, in the nicest possible way, shut the fuck up.
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WHAT YOU WON'T DO FOR LOVE (WYWDFL) — ONE
YOU couldn't be having a worse halloween night. choose your fate with your fellow readers and see if it gets better!
soulmate!wanderer x gn!reader
"Yeah, I understand that it's the third day I haven't paid my rent, I'm telling you my banks been closed."
Your voice to your landlord, Kamisato Ayato (who is also your boss), on the phone reeked with desperation. And yet, even though this was the case, you still had time to snack on chicken strips at a picnic table.
"(L/N), there's nothing else I can do, your extension is up. I need a payment by tomorrow." His voice crackled through the phone, stern but never sympathetic. "I have other tenants to consider."
"Wouldn't have guessed that one." You laughed as a jab at the other, a thin veneer of your humor and the intense need to scream gnawed at your mouth. “You’re rich as hell telling me that you have other tenants to consider, but you’re still making me clean toilets? Couldn't give me a promotion to accountant or anything? I know about 16 of your slimy practices.”
“You're being dramatic.”
“The only other tenants are Itto and Yoimiya with her dad. This is a side thing for you with how often my shower head is broken.” Your eyes dulled. “If anything, I should be telling you to pay me.”
The other end went silent, as your boss Ayato cleared his throat. “I never said it was free housing in the lease.”
“Ooh, slimy practice number 17! Hey, maybe if you make it to 20, I can wring 700,000 mora out of you.”
“You can make as many threats as you want, you still haven't paid in time. I can’t keep extending deadlines for you.” Ayato’s voice hardened. “If you can’t pay by tonight, you will have to find somewhere else to stay.”
You felt helpless in the moment, but still managed to hold on to the call for just a few more seconds. “Really, Kamisato.” Your voice dulled. “You’re going to lock me out of my apartment, keep me in a Halloween costume, and deny my valid reason just because I didn’t pay up 1,000 mora? Me, who cleans your event hall everyday.”
“Perhaps you should have been more conscious of your money management. Please be more responsible in the future, (L/N). Good luck to you.”
And with that, he hung up. You let out a growl of frustration and slammed your phone down on the picnic table. It happened to bounce up and land face down on the floor. You gasped lightly, reaching quickly to pick it up as you checked it frantically.
Cracks up and down the screen of your phone you still managed to be making payments on. "Wow..." You stared at the cracks in disbelief, feeling a disastrous amount of weight that prompted you to throw away the greasy chicken strips. You've been going to this place for so long to save money that you wondered if you were ever really saving anyway.
You gathered your thoughts quickly before continue your walk back home. You had just came back from a big Halloween party that your neighbor Yoimiya invited you to. You weren't listening entirely, but she was yapping hard about this concept about soulmates and how it's been actually proven that what the mark you were born with yadda yadda yadda. Because of this, anyway, she had made these weird concoctions that made the fireworks different colors. From purple, orange, green, and so on to get everyone in the spirit.
You were too scared of her to say no; one of these days you were convinced she's going to accidentally make a nuke and kill everyone. You'd rather not make an enemy if it meant you had a chance living in her oddly huge bunker (how did she make a bunker underground her bottom floor apartment?).
If anything, your spirit was crushed as soon as you left the party. With how the only guy blowing up your phone was Ayato and he just wanted the money that he gave you back, and looking like a very horrible version of an 80's professional acrobatics instructor with an equally as bad haircut, you were pretty much having the worst Halloween night of your life.
Especially seeing your crush for 13 years, Xiao, kiss the literal only other guy at the party, Venti. How long were you even waiting to get your chance? He didn't even know Venti that well compared to you, and he was probably crushing on him just because he could sing. And now you have the very moment that you were happy to not in the blink of an eye, so miserable seeing it that you could swear you felt yourself sober up.
And to Creep by Radiohead blaring in the background, they were kissing to one of the most unconventional songs you can kiss to. For what may have been a song for them to remember their first kiss was a song that you wanted to shove an ice pick through your ear canal every time you heard it now. You guessed the soulmate stuff Yoimiya was talking about was true. They saw the exact same mark on each others wrists...
You could sing too, probably even better than he could. Singing isn't even that hard.
As you started singing a very off-key and melancholic version of Teenage Dream by Katy Perry to prove yourself right, you weren't even worried about the long winded alleyways and dark streets you were weaving through. The eeriness of the night was mocking, but comforting. Long, distorted shadows, making the streetlights cast them oddly.
Your footsteps echoed against the narrow walls of the alleyways, a gust of wind sent a shiver down your spine and stretched the night on. You kicked a pebble absentmindedly, watching as it skittered along the cracked pavement. It was ironic being at a party you actually felt comfortable being at and getting your hopes absolutely shattered in the meantime. It seemed so out of reach from what did occur.
The sight of your apartment was a burden, and even though you were guaranteed going to be kicked out tomorrow, you didn't want to linger on the reminder any longer.
As you were about to climb the steps, you paused once you heard something similar to a whine. It was faint when you first heard it, almost blending in to the light pollution of the street. You turned your body towards the nearby alleyway, awaiting for another noise to confirm your delusions. Moments passed, each second stretching into eternity. Just when you were about to dismiss it again, another cry of what sounded like a man alerted you, followed by a groveling sound that sounded similar to a guttural gurgle.
Hell. No.
Now usually, you would mind your business and go to sleep with a knife in the bed next to you. You were not a stickler for being the person in the horror movies that said 'let's go see what it is'! But you weren't entirely convinced that the neighborhood was terrible, and with your current dilemma? Maybe dying a horrible death would feel better than whatever you're about to go through in the next twenty-four hours.
But at the same time...you weren't convinced that whatever is doing that wasn't an injured puppy or something. You may have had a heart for what happens to animals, but you aren't stupid.
#zoropookie#wywdfl#scaramouche#scaramouche x reader#genshin scaramouche#genshin#genshin impact#genshin smau#genshin x reader#genshin fanfic#genshin x you#genshin x yn#scaramouche x yn#scaramouche x you#self insert#kunikuzushi#kunikuzushi x reader#wanderer x reader#wanderer x you
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Hey, Kabru and Mithrun spend some interesting time together, don't they?
With Mithrun having just officially premiered in the anime, and a lot of discussions swirling around about him, I've been thinking a lot about that section of the story quite a bit. These chapters - Roasted Walking Mushroom and 6 Days - are some of my favorites. For a lot of reasons, really. Not only are they are a huge turning point for the story as a whole, but they have some excellent character work, and represent an important shift in Kabru and Mithrun's individual arcs and relationship to each other.
The chapters are also kind of a fully contained story arc just on their own, which is an impressive bit of writing, and makes them super fun to analyze. So that's exactly what I'm going to do!
This will be structured as a close reading of chapters 61 & 62, with some asides for additional important context. I'm going to talk a little bit about a reading that I disagree with, but for the most part I just want to focus on how Kabru and Mithrun's relationship progresses during these two chapters. In particular, the ways they both grow from the time they spend together.
Also I just want to quickly note that this isn't written as Ship Content. It's meant to be an analysis of their relationship as presented in the text - layer whatever additional meanings and filters on top of that as you'd like, but please respect that my intent is not to talk about or champion a ship, or frame any of this content as romantic.
So, with that all being said:
How do Kabru and Mithrun help each other?
First of all, I think there are two important pieces of context that inform the Kabru & Mithrun Dungeon Adventure chapters. Both are related to Kabru's state of mind, and both are set up before or during the chapters in question.
The first is the context of what happened just before Kabru and Mithrun fell into the dungeon. Specifically, the events that led Kabru to make them fall.
Kabru, essentially, gives up his life at the end of chapter 55. When he stops Mithrun, and when they both plummet with the collapse of the first floor, he is okay with dying. Mithrun warns him that they will both die if Kabru doesn't let him go, and Kabru accepts this as a worthwhile exchange.
Why?
Well, because he doesn't want the elves to take over the dungeon. Throughout the last 3 chapters, the Canaries have been effective, but they have also been cruel in their efficiency, and they have made it clear that they don't care about collateral damage. They lured people into the dungeon specifically to provoke a violent reaction from it, without regard for who might get hurt by the violence.
What's more, they are keeping important information from Kabru, and he knows it.
He's not just looking for a solution, he's looking for the truth - a truth that he believes that he will only find through conquering the dungeon. With good reason, to be fair! The elves make it very clear that they aren't there to treat the other races on the Island as equals.
So Kabru uses the only tool he has available to him - his own life. It won't get him the truth, but it at least gives a chance for another person from a short-life species (namely, Laios) to earn it in his place.
This dovetails nicely with the more thematic context that's introduced in at the start of chapter 61: the room where he could eat all the cake he wanted.
This place, a place that Kabru never wants to go back to, is a place where he is safe, and a place where he is ignorant. A place where he is sheltered from danger, but also from the truth. The same place the Island would become, if the Canaries had their way. He doesn't just want to be safe, and he doesn't even just want the world to be safe, though he does want to be able to protect people from what happened in Utaya.
But he doesn't just want to entrust that safety to the paternalism of the elves (especially since he is all too aware of the ways they can fail, or the people they are willing to sacrifice in the name of that "safety"). He wants to be given the agency to seek safety and peace for himself.
He wants to understand. And he wants the chance to act.
This is the context we have, going into the arc of 61 & 62. But before I talk about how the chapters build on this context, I want to take a step back and look at what else the chapters establish early on, before delving into their exploration of Kabru's agency.
First of all, I kind of want to challenge the framing of Kabru and Mithrun's relationship as solely that of a caretaker and his charge.
Obviously, Kabru is forced into a caretaker position - at the threat of his friend's safety, no less. (Okay, it's actually Toshiro and Namari that are being held, but still. There are hostages involved in this) But I do think it's important that Mithrun isn't the one who puts Kabru in this position - Cithis is.
Before this conversation, Kabru and Mithrun are already exploring the dungeon together. Mithrun doesn't threaten Kabru, or force his hand. He kind of just assumes that Kabru will join him. It's rude, and not particularly respectful, but given the dangers of navigating a dungeon alone, I don't think that's really an unreasonable assumption. And it certainly isn't the same as Cithis' approach.
If they were left alone with no intervention, they probably would have ended up in a similar position to the one that Cithis leveraged them into. Kabru is smart, and he could have figured out the things that Mithrun needed help with. And, to be clear, those are things that Mithrun needs help with not because he is selfish or thinks they are owed to him, but because he is disabled. It's not unreasonable for him to need that help, and it's not unreasonable for Kabru to provide it, under the circumstances.
Besides, they both need each other down there. Kabru wouldn't have survived without Mithrun - he doesn't know enough about monsters, and isn't familiar with the deeper dungeon's layout. And Mithrun wouldn't survive without Kabru - he isn't able to notice his basic needs and would burn himself out without food or rest, making him an easy target for the monsters he could otherwise take care of on his own.
Aside from both needing each other, another interesting layer to their relationship, which is established right away, is that Kabru doesn't have to - and literally cannot - put on a mask of social niceties around Mithrun. He can't suck up. It doesn't work.
So Kabru, who spends so much of his time concerned with how others perceive him, and who compromises his own comfort in order to become the most appealing version of himself at any given time, has that tool taken away. He has to help Mithrun, but notably, he can only help Mithrun to a certain point. He cannot compromise his open and honest feelings to help maintain someone else's view of the world - or at very least, it doesn't benefit him at all to do so.
Instead, they sit together, in the same position, share the same shitty mushroom dinner, because they both have to:
And that's notable, too. They both have to. Cithis' demand is most specific about the need to eat. Three meals a day! But this is something they both need, not just Mithrun.
Still, their relationship at this point still isn't exactly supportive, or even respectful. Kabru may have realized that he didn't need to keep up an act around Mithrun, but ya know, he still turns around an immediately try to, with that shitty mushroom dinner.
(The 'badly drawn shapeshift Kabru' gag here isn't just funny, imo, it's also a reminder of the thing he JUST LEARNED. Mithrun is immune to the Kabru smile anime sparkles filter.)
Mithrun also doesn't tell Kabru any helpful information at this point, and doesn't really put much effort into helping him at all. He slaps him awake out of a Nightmare, and treats him with the same disregard he did at the start of the chapter, focused entirely on moving ahead.
But then Mithrun collapses, and the current structure of their relationship collapses with him.
I think it's interesting here that the shift in their dynamic also includes Mithrun explicitly noticing Kabru's desires. Obviously it's not actually like some kind of I truly see you and recognize your humanity moment shared between them, but I do still like the way that it pulls Kabru's internal wants to the surface. Kabru not voicing his desires doesn't mean they don't exist, and Mithrun recognizes that the same way the dungeon does.
And then Mithrun does, in fact, grant one of Kabru's deepest desires. He tells Kabru the truth.
Just like how they are working together in the first place, this truth is as much a necessary concession to survival as anything. But that doesn't mean it's not impactful for Kabru. This is the thing that every other elf in his life has kept from him. A secret foundational to his core belief that long-life and short-life species can never come to mutual understanding.
And Mithrun isn't just giving him the bare minimum information here. What he shares isn't just a truth, it's his truth. It's a level of complete and total vulnerability that few people share with each other. And again - some of this may just be coincidence and necessity. I imagine Mithrun is so open, at least in part, because he doesn't have the same barriers that other people do when it comes to sharing these things.
But, then again... we see Mithrun at his most vulnerable and empathetic when he is talking to dungeon lords & potential dungeon lords, and trying to convey to them the truth of the trap they are walking into.
This face:
Is very similar to this face:
These are some of the few instances that we see Mithrun emote in this way, and his story does come just after he notices the dungeon responding to Kabru's desires.
But, no matter if Mithrun's openness is in response to Kabru being tangled in the dungeon's hunger, or just part of his nature (or, maybe, a little of both), his story changes things for Kabru. It gives him the chance to make actual choices, now that he understands the truth. It gives him a chance at agency in the story.
And he immediately turns around and uses some of that agency in an interesting way:
When asked about why he can't sleep, Mithrun says he needs to be magically compelled. Being magicked to sleep is simple, and it is efficient, but he doesn't even just say it's the best option. He seems to believe it is the only option.
So much in Mithrun's recovery has been framed through how it will let him fight the demon. Recover so that you can return to the dungeon. Sleep so that you can return to the dungeon. Eat so that you can return to the dungeon.
But rest, much like eating, isn't just about achieving the bare minimum required for efficiency. And as Senshi would probably say, the easiest path isn't always the best.
I don't think that the Canaries are intentionally running Mithrun ragged or anything, but as I mentioned earlier, they are very focused on efficiency, with little thought spared to what is lost or hurt in the process.
And there is something different about Mithrun's time with Kabru in the dungeon. Lycion even notes it, when they finally connect back up.
I don't think it's a huge leap to say that how Mithrun falls asleep here is emblematic of that difference. When Kabru helps Mithrun to sleep by massaging his feet, rather then using magic, he is explicitly taking a step beyond the minimum. He is providing comfort to a body that has been given only necessities for a long, long time.
These two events - Mithrun sharing the truth of the dungeon with Kabru, and Kabru choosing to help Mithrun to sleep through a foot massage - shift their relationship. There's a clear difference in how we see them treat each other, and especially in how Mithrun treats Kabru.
Before, Kabru provides food that he has gathered himself (okay, it was a mushroom he put his foot through on floor one, but the point still stands that Mithrun offered no help at all with getting food).
Afterwards, they gather food together.
Before, Mithrun teleports Kabru towards a monster, using him as a weapon when he can't find anything else.
Afterwards, he helps Kabru escape monsters, and fights them directly.
Before, he slaps Kabru awake after 5 hours of uncomfortable, Nightmare-filled sleep. A rest which, notably, Kabru didn't even intend to take for himself.
Afterwards, we see Mithrun keeping watch while Kabru sleeps in a bedroll.
I don't necessarily think that all of these things are choices that Mithrun consciously makes. Like, after 6 days, Kabru would have to get some actual sleep eventually, and Mithrun would pretty obviously have to keep watching during that time.
Nonetheless, there's still a difference in how these scenes are framed, and the fact that it is these things that are used to portray their journey together. Kabru is not the sole person providing food and sleep and safety - they provide these things for each other. Kabru eats alongside Mithrun, hunts alongside Mithrun, and he sleeps in the same way we see Mithrun sleep, laying down and resting deeply enough to be groggy when woken up.
What's more, during their time together, there are even a couple of instances of Kabru being more willing to care for himself and accept care. The sleeping is one example - note how he is surprised at having slept "that long" when told he was asleep for less than even the minimum recommended amount of nightly sleep - but I think the pattern of his eating is even clearer. In making sure that Mithrun eats regularly, he is forced to eat regularly too.
And I especially like the progression with the Barometz meal. After Mithrun has fallen asleep, Kabru thinks about wanting to "give [Mithrun] something nice to eat," but also notes that Mithrun's lack of desire "means there isn't even anything he wants to eat." So what does Kabru do?
He makes Mithrun something that he wants to eat.
I've already talked a bit about the ways that Dungeon Meshi depicts people finding support through "borrowing" the desires of the people who care for them, and I think this scene is a great example of that idea. Especially in the way that it pulls an expression of desire from Kabru, who is so prone to ignore his own hunger and needs. The meal may not end up anywhere close to the flavor intended, but it's still a far cry from the roasted walking mushroom.
All of these pieces come together at the end of chapter 62, resulting in a pivotal choice that could only happen because of the ways Kabru and Mithrun have, at least a little bit, grown closer to each other.
As they are preparing to leave, Kabru hears a bell ringing in the dungeon, just as he hears Toshiro's matching bell on the other side of the portal. Realizing Laios is nearby, Kabru hesitates. He knows the truth about the demon, and how he has a chance to act on it.
Cithis, the person who extorted Kabru into taking care of Mithrun in the first place, pushes for Mithrun to follow along with the plan.
(okay a quick aside here I just want to say I do love Cithis and I'm not trying to bash on her here. I just think it's interesting that she is the one to establish the terms of Mithrun & Kabru's cooperation, as well as the one who tells Mithrun to leave the dungeon at the end of the chapter)
But Mithrun doesn't go along with her command. Instead, he does something unexpected:
He asks what Kabru wants to do.
In contrast to Milsiril's smothering comfort,
and in contrast to his Mithrun's own assumption that Kabru will follow him, when they first wake up in the dungeon,
Mithrun follows Kabru's lead.
This, right here, is the change between them. Not only that, but it's a shift in the entire balance of agency in the dungeon. For what might be the first time in a very long time, Kabru - a tall-man - knows the truth, and is acting on it. He makes a huge decision purely on his own judgement. He is not trying to appease or coerce anyone, and he doesn't win Mithrun over by hiding his true intentions.
Rather, it's the honesty between them that builds to this moment. Mithrun's honesty earns Kabru's trust, and Kabru's honesty earns Mithrun's respect. They bond not because they are forced to spend time together, but because they choose to spend that time giving each other more than the bare minimum - even when they are both people used to accepting the bare minimum.
It echoes Laios' argument with Toshiro, in a way. They eat three square meals a day (Cithis mandated admittedly), they get plenty of sleep, and in doing these things, they take each other seriously. They treat each other as more than just a means to an end.
I don't necessarily think it's a flawless, unbreakable bond that's built during this time - hell, they both kind of revert back to their old behavior, once reunited with the rest of the Canaries. People don't completely change their habits overnight, after all.
But it is a shift. It's a shift that gives Kabru the chance to steer the story towards the ending he has fought for all his life, and it's a shift that helps Mithrun find a way to move forward after he loses his own reason for living. They reach their goals, and then they step past them - facing life beyond the moments they thought defined their reasons for living. Facing life beyond the bare minimum.
And that is how they help each other.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru of utaya#mithrun of the house of kerensil#dungeon meshi spoilers#dunmeshi analysis
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"You Weren't Loyal To Me": How Crosshair's Brothers Absolutely Failed Him in "The Bad Batch" Season 1
I know I'm not the first person to make these arguments, but after recently rewatching "The Bad Batch" Season 1, I feel compelled to play Devil's Advocate and assert that Crosshair's brothers absolutely failed him in Season 1.
Now, don't mistake me. I don't believe Crosshair was 100% in the right. Once he regained his free will -- whether he actually removed his inhibitor chip, or whether his injury on Bracca deactivated it or lessened its impacts -- he definitely should've left the Empire the first chance he had.
I imagine he was trying to make the best of a bad situation, but I don't see why he would stay with an organization hijacked his mind and ordered him to kill his family, civilians and other people who were trying to do the right thing.
But, I don't think his brothers -- I'm excluding Omega because she's a child and was following everyone else's lead -- are 100% in the right either.
I believe Crosshair's brothers basically abandoned him.
CROSSHAIR'S GREAT INSECURITY?
Now, I understand that they didn't initially plan to abandon Crosshair. But, once they knew he was being mind-controlled and especially once they knew how to undo its effects, they never even considered going back for him.
We never see them debate trying to save Crosshair. They don't discuss whether it's feasible, whether it's worth the risk, how they would even attempt it, etc.
I think this was a much-needed moment that we never get to see. In fact, as others have pointed out, we don't really get much discussion about Crosshair at all.
He's their brother. He's been by their side from infancy through their time as cadets through dozens of missions. Why aren't they more upset about him turning against them? Or being mind-controlled by the Empire?
They seem so blasé about it. Like it's more of an inconvenience than a tragedy, especially by 1.12 "Rescue on Ryloth." Like "Ope, Crosshair's here. I bet he's gonna try to kill us again."
As I'll discuss more later, Hunter gets captured on Daro, and Omega loses her frickin' mind. Even Echo, Wrecker and Tech seemed distressed too, even if the show didn't focused on their reactions as much.
But, Crosshair's mind and body get hijacked by the Empire, and nobody seems to give a shit.
No wonder why Crosshair felt so betrayed and said everything he does in 1.15 and 1.16. It probably confirmed something he always felt, or always feared:
That he was the odd man out in his squad -- the last to be included and the first to be excluded.
That they never cared about him as much as he cared about them.
Based on experiences in my own life, with friends and coworkers, I do wonder if Crosshair was always insecure about his standing within the group. This makes sense given that he's likely the youngest of the four original brothers, and that as a sniper, he isn't always in the middle of the action like they are. His personality doesn't really help either, but his brothers seem to be able to navigate it just fine in their "The Clone Wars" Season 7 arc.
Maybe this is partly why he seemed OK with Echo joining the squad at the end of TCW arc: because he felt like Echo would become the new 'odd man' considering that he didn't grow up with the Bad Batch and wouldn't know Crosshair's brothers like he does.
It's been a while since I watched TCW Season 7, so maybe I'm wrong.
But, I definitely think this is partly why he resents Omega so much in Season 1:
The Bad Batch -- mainly Hunter -- decided to risk their lives and their freedom to go back to Kamino for Omega. She might've been their "little sister," but they'd known her all of one day and Hunter still decided it was worth going back for her.
Yet they never went back for him.
Hell, as far as we the audience know, they never even considered it.
I'm not saying it would have been easy or risk-free. They also now have Omega in their care, and trying to extract Crosshair from Imperial custody while all parties involved would be trying to kill or capture them isn't an easy undertaking.
But, as I'll talk about more later, these guys do rescue and extraction missions all the time. They put their lives on the line for complete strangers several times in Season 1 to save them from Imperial custody, slavery, etc.
And I'm not saying they were wrong to do those things. It was objectively good that the Bad Batch saved the people they did.
But, I can absolutely understand why Crosshair would be infuriated that his brothers take on all these missions to help complete strangers but never bother to help him...
ANALYZING THE BATCH'S DECISIONS BASED ON THE SEASON 1 TIMELINE
I understand that, before he confronts them in the hangar in 1.01 "Aftermath," that they were planning to go back for him. And that they were forced to leave him behind because he was literally gunning for them. And -- as far as his brothers knew -- he was doing it of his own free will.
However, in 1.02 "Cut and Run," Omega tells them about the inhibitor chips, implying that that's how Crosshair is being controlled.
Then in 1.03 "The Replacements," we see that Tech is building a device to locate their inhibitor chips, and Omega tries to tell the Batch and specifically emphasizes to Hunter that Crosshair has no control over his actions. Hunter admits that he's angry at himself for leaving Crosshair behind, and Omega reassures him that they'll get him back someday.
So, it seems like -- at least in Omega's eyes -- the Batch was planning to save Crosshair at some point. And, Hunter at minimum feels guilty for leaving Crosshair on Kamino, even though they didn't really have much of a choice at the time.
However, the Batch gets sidetracked in 1.04 and 1.05. First, they need supplies; then bounty hunters are after Omega; then they need intel on who's after her and why.
Then, by the events of 1.07 "Battle Scars," we see that they've fallen into a routine of doing jobs for Cid. It's safe to assume they've done -- or at least attempted -- a dozen jobs for her at this point, based on Wrecker and Omega's 20 orders of Mantell Mix.
And then Rex shows up and tells them point-blank that the clones can't fight the inhibitor chip's effects, re-emphasizing Omega's earlier point that Crosshair had no control over his actions.
The Batch then experiences this firsthand with Wrecker, whose chip activates before they can extract it. We see that, even with Wrecker fighting the chip's effects with all his might, he endangers his brothers and was *this* close to killing Omega, before Rex stunned him.
Now, we have confirmation based on both Rex and Wrecker's experiences that removing an active chip restores a clone's free will.
Thus, by the end of 1.07 "Battle Scars," the Batch definitively knows:
Crosshair is being controlled by an inhibitor chip and is being forced to do the Empire's bidding;
How to remove an inhibitor chip; and
That removing a clone's active inhibitor chip will restore his free will
And yet, despite all this knowledge, the only effort they make to save Crosshair is to tell him about the inhibitor chip.
They don't attempt or even discuss possibly stunning him on the artillery deck and taking him with them.
But, admittedly, this isn't the best time to attempt a rescue, as they're outnumbered and essentially trapped aboard the Jedi Cruiser. And then Omega gets captured by Cad Bane and Hunter gets shot, and the others are desperately trying to get off Bracca before Crosshair & co. shoot them down. Fine. Getting off Bracca safely and then trying to find Omega should be their priority.
But, once they recover Omega on Bora Vio, and their lives aren't in immediate danger anymore... this would've been the perfect time to at least debate going back for Crosshair.
Again, they have all the information needed at this point.
As for how they find him, well, I'm sure they could get the information somehow. Or they could just cause a stir somewhere so he'd show up to arrest them again, like he did on Bracca.
But, no, they just continue doing jobs for Cid in 1.10-1.13. They don't bring him up at all until they see him on Ryloth in 1.12 "Rescue on Ryloth," and again, the tone is like, "Well, Crosshair is here. That's annoying."
If not being able to locate him was the only reason they didn't try to save him after 1.08/1.09, that argument doesn't apply to 1.12 "Rescue on Ryloth." He's there. They know he's there. They're already there doing an extraction job anyway... why don't they just grab him too???
Yes, there would be additional risks, but YOUR BROTHER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY THE EMPIRE AND FORCED TO DO ITS BIDDING, AND YOU DON'T SEEM TO GIVE A SHIT!!!
Which brings us nicely to:
THE DOUBLE STANDARD
Throughout Season 1, but especially in the latter half, we see The Batch putting themselves in harm's way for complete strangers, or at most, friends-of-friends.
They rescue Muchi the Rancor and other people from enslavers; they extract the former Separatist Senator from Raxus; they extract the Syndullas from Ryloth; they break Gregor out of the Imperial base on Daro.
In the latter three cases, the Batch went to Imperial-occupied planets and an Imperial base, despite all the risks involved. And, especially when they saved Gregor, they had very little information going in and basically just winged the entire thing.
It just feels like, when you look at all these cases, any argument the Batch could make for not saving Crosshair just falls apart.
"We didn't know where he was." He was on Ryloth -- grab him then.
"We didn't have enough information." You didn't on Daro, and you still snuck into a heavily fortified Imperial base to rescue Gregor.
"Everyone there would've been trying to kill us." You literally extract/rescue people from Imperial forces for a living...
"It would've endangered Omega." Well, buddy, have I got a story for you...
You see, when Hunter falls on Daro and gets captured, the Batch still comes to his rescue despite knowing it's a trap AND THEY BRING OMEGA WITH THEM!!!
Every excuse they could've made for not saving Crosshair sooner is gone. The Batch will literally run into a trap for Hunter, and they constantly throw themselves into danger to save Omega, but they never do the same for Crosshair.
It really feels like such a double standard.
They seem to care about everyone BUT him.
Plus, sadly, there's one more parallel I can draw. One more instance where the Bad Batch put themselves in harm's way to save a fellow clone who was being mind-controlled by their enemies in an attempt to kill them...
Echo.
Yes, remember all the way back in TCW Season 7, when we find out that Echo is the one behind the algorithm that's giving the Separatists an advantage in all these battles?
Even though Rex thought Echo was dead, the minute he suspects Echo's still alive, he goes after him. He even punches Crosshair over it, after Crosshair bullies Rex for leaving Echo for dead at the Citadel.
One of the "regs" went back for his brother despite knowing his was being mind-controlled by the enemy and forced to attack them.
Rex, Anakin and the Bad Batch save Echo from a terrible fate. They extract him from the Separatists, restore his free will and essentially give him his life back.
Yet, when the exact same thing happens to one of their own, the Batch don't even consider going back for Crosshair the way Rex went back for Echo -- hell, the way they went in for Echo too, even though they didn't know him!!
SOME CONSIDERATIONS
I will give the Batch this: once Crosshair confronts them on Kamino and Hunter stuns him, Hunter decides not to leave Crosshair behind this time. And that was even after Crosshair refused to say when he had his chip removed. So, for all they know, he might've been acting of his own free will when he tried to kill them on Bracca.
While taking Crosshair with them at the end of 1.15 was a step in the right direction, I don't think it was enough to make up for everything they failed to do.
And, while he doesn't specify exactly what, Hunter later admits to Crosshair in 3.05 "The Return" that he has regrets too. And considering the context and the timeframe they're talking about, it's possible Hunter regrets not going back for Crosshair sooner/at all, among other mistakes he's made. (Story for another time.)
I'll also give some consideration to Wrecker, who was the only one of the brothers who said he actively missed Crosshair in 1.03 "The Replacements." Tech mentions Crosshair very flippantly a few times, and Echo doesn't really mention him at all.
Obviously, we'll never know for certain, but I do wonder how Crosshair would've reacted if his brothers had rescued him and removed his chip at some point. Would he have stayed with them? Would he have wanted to rejoin the Empire voluntarily?
Considering he (supposedly) had his chip removed and still stayed with the Empire willingly in-universe, it's possible he might've wanted to do the same thing in an AU where his brothers rescued him.
He definitely despised that they were fugitives and "scavenging like rats," while he had authority, respect and purpose as a soldier of the Empire.
But, I think a large component -- although not the only one -- of why he stays with the Empire is that he felt like his brothers abandoned him. He brings this up several times in 1.15 and 1.16, and the way he does indicates this is a major sore spot for him.
We see in 1.01 "Aftermath" that the chip enhancement procedure is painful. He scrunches his face, flexes his hand and squirms around in the chamber. Plus, the machine itself looks similar to the Mind Flayer from other "Star Wars" properties.
Crosshair was literally being tortured by the Empire. Maybe he doesn't recall that once the procedure's done, but we see him getting his chip enhanced in both 1.01 and 1.03, and it's possible it was enhanced even more times off-screen.
I cannot stress enough: the Empire basically took Crosshair prisoner, tortured him and hijacked his free will.
And his brothers essentially did nothing to save him.
It would be one thing if his brothers were civilians like you and me, and didn't know the first thing about how to infiltrate an Imperial compound or how to navigate a firefight despite being outnumbered.
But, that doesn't apply to The Bad Batch. That's literally their bread-and-butter.
And Crosshair -- especially once he seems to regain his free will between the Bracca and Ryloth arcs -- watched his brothers risk their lives to save complete strangers while doing nothing for him.
I would've been livid too.
Not to sound like Tech, but while I don't agree with Crosshair's decision, I can understand why he decided to stay on Kamino rather than go with them at the end of 1.16. His brothers offered him no real comfort and no real apology, and I think he desperately wanted to hear that, especially from Hunter.
I know after everything that's happened -- especially Crosshair refusing to say when he had his chip removed -- that it would've been hard to admit their mistakes. But, Crosshair wanted to hear something beyond: "You can come with us if you want. And if you don't, we don't have to be enemies."
The closest thing to comfort any of them offer is Omega affirming that, despite everything, she still cared about him. This seems to be the only thing that really effects him, that causes him to doubt his decision, that causes him to show any kind of emotion beyond anger.
I legitimately believe that if someone had talked to Crosshair one-on-one for like five minutes, and really showed how much they still cared about him and always did, that he would've rejoined them.
Granted, it's really hard to tell.
Crosshair has, as Tech said, always been severe and unyielding. Plus, he really suffers from this "in for a penny, in for a pound" kind of mindset, which is partly why he stays with the Empire for so long even after regaining his free will.
But the fact that all his brothers leave him on Kamino again so effortlessly, so easily is just tragic. No final goodbye. No hug. No nothing.
For all any of them know, this could be the last time they ever see each other. (And, for Tech and Crosshair, it was.)
I know it wouldn't have been easy after everything that's happened, but for crying out loud, I just wanted them to try.
And I imagine Crosshair did too.
IN CONCLUSION
Honestly, I think the TBB writers and producers purposely never gave us a scene of The Batch debating whether to go after Crosshair, or a scene of them outlining to us the audience why it wasn't possible even though they wanted to.
I think the creative team wanted us to sympathize with Crosshair when he says "You weren't loyal to me," while also arguably giving our protagonists a weakness to overcome later.
This really seems like the case if we look at Season 2.
Once the Batch finds out Crosshair's being detained by the Empire's Advanced Science Division in 2.14 "Tipping Point," they immediately start discussing whether and why they should try to save him, even after everything that happened between them in S1.
On top of that, this time they actually decide to do whatever it takes to get him back, despite limited intel and the imminent danger behind such an undertaking.
I think the Batch genuinely learned from their mistakes in Season 1 and, as Hunter maybe alludes to in 3.05 "The Return," regretted not going back for Crosshair sooner/at all after the Empire started controlling him.
I'll admit: I think when I first watched Season 1, I was basically in the Batch's corner. Crosshair was gunning for them at every opportunity, and Omega's well-being quickly became their priority (understandably so).
But, after rewatching Season 1 -- especially now that the show is over and we see how everyone's arcs play out -- it really hits me just how much Crosshair's brothers failed him in Season 1.
Again, I'm not saying Crosshair didn't make mistakes too. He definitely did.
But Crosshair's brothers failed him first.
#star wars#the bad batch#tbb crosshair#the bad batch crosshair#tbb season 3#tbb spoilers#tbb omega#tbb hunter#hunter tbb#hunter the bad batch#clone trooper crosshair#crosshair the bad batch#crosshair tbb#tbb season 1#tbb season 2#tbb meta
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Hi!
I know right now may not be the best time to say this, but I'm kind of still processing how fast this all happened. As someone who likes to look over artists' past work esp my fav works daily and just suddenly noticed that they're almost all gone: twitter, instagram, and tumblr. It frustrates me that not only has this situation affected you, but how it really takes one selfish and inconsiderate person to ruin everything for others. I truly hope that you can heal from this and maybe we might see those pictures again, but this is just soo much to process. Just love and support for you <33333 🥹🫶😭🫶🫶🫶🫶
Hi. I’ve privated a lot of my work on tumblr and Instagram, so they’re not gone forever. I still have a lot of positive memories with them so I didn’t want to delete them. I wanted to keep all the nice comments and support I’ve gotten over these past few years.. I might unarchive them sometime in the future when I’m more okay with it being looked at. Twitter, I had no choice but to delete it, especially ones with dick, jason, and Peter Parker. My brain freaked out a little bit from seeing evidence of the person saving my art and making fake clip files with them. Logically, I am aware deleting my old art in response is stupid.
But it wasn’t limited to just comic art, it was other interests I had too which was really uncomfortable that someone would go to the extent of pretending they like other stuff I liked. They would also paraphrase tweets I’ve made about my personal life onto their own twitter. That just isn’t okay.
Every interest I’ve ever fallen in love with meant a lot to me. This is probably not publicly known information since I’m relatively private, as a depressed autistic person, a lot of who I am is what I end up liking. My friends and relatives describe me as dressing up like a cartoon character, because everything I like is so visibly obvious. I become utterly consumed in my favorite things. Suddenly, it feels like all of my control was taken away from me. My interests collected over the years were no longer just mine, it was someone else’s because they decided to lie and it was easier to continue lying. I don’t know how much was saved. There was a screenshot of a message with over 8+ of my art works sent excluding the fake files.
I don’t have control over it. The impersonation of my identity and my life experiences.
But I do have control over who gets to see what I put out in the future. I could probably write this better but I’ve rewritten a lot of things within these two days. Rewritten posts over and over so it sounds less aggressive, less hurt, less like I am trying to call for a witch hunt and more just taking extra precautions. I don’t think I have the energy to rewrite this to seem less vulnerable/pathetic.
I want to apologize to everyone who hoped I’d keep my past art public. I know how it feels. I’ve been fans of artists who just blew up their account one day and never came back. I only privated them on tumblr and Instagram. That’s all I can do. Honestly, I’m hoping a part of my brain just forgets some of this happened since depression does come with memory loss.. This post is now too long.. but I hope it gives some insight for what’s happening on my side of the brain. I appreciate all the support so far.
If you see me acting a little weird on twitter, I’m just trying to regain a sense of control over my identity.
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Sakura is such a refreshing character when it comes to Shonen protagonists. The one insecurity most main characters share is always feeling weak and like they cannot protect the ones around them. The typical Shonen MC goal is always to get stronger, whether it is because of a dream or the people they love. But Wind Breaker goes even further with this and instead of making Sakura's character arc only about becoming stronger, it acknowledges that becoming stronger also means trusting others and letting yourself be loved because you can't do everything on your own. His strength relies on the people he loves because they lift him up. It has been repeated over and over again by various characters, but it's Sakura the one making the effort to apologize and trying to trust them more and jump off the rope that kept him from walking a safer, more loving path with his friends.
I'm not saying this plot is entirely new because it's classical Shonen behavior (and I wouldn't have it any other way) but Sakura's insecurities come directly from a place of interiorized rejection and genuine hatred to himself, because of past experiences. Again, it's not new, but the way the manga narrates his character development just feels so human and like teenage growth that it's impossible for me not to adore it.
Shonens, in my opinion, usually lack that message that ties the characters to real life. You can relate all you want to these characters but at the end of the day, most of their stories are exaggerations of real insecurities and you can just relate to the mere translation/interpretation to real life. But Wind Breaker does it in a way that feels entirely human and realistic.
So, to summarize, I am a big fan because the manga about fist fighting and street gangs ends up having an unexpected "get loved idiot" message.
#haruka sakura the main character that you areeee#i love you sweetie#i also like his personality because overall it doesn't really feel like the typical grumpy but with a heart of gold mc. it just feels--#idk. like a stupid guy acting stupid because he's young and doesn't know how to be loved#wind breaker#sakura haruka
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tsamsiyu ta'em - calm before the storm
Masterlist - part seventeen
Summary: Just as the chapter's title suggests. It was the calm before the storm…
Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character
Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic
posted on ao3
Word Count: 11k+
Warnings: Fluff! Some awkwardness that happens after one makes a confession lol. Trauma regarding torture, loss of a child, body dysmorphia, etc. There's a plot twist at the end of this chapter ;)
Taglist (bold indicates "could not tag"): @motheroffae @undeniableadrenaline @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n @amiets2 @slutforsmut4ever @yeosxxx @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @sucker4angstt @inolaphoenix @ilovechickenwings @tojisleftarm @andyfromku @ivysully @lightandshadow31 @jamie-poopoo @brittney69 @avatar-lover @ikeyniofthetayrangi @cardi-bre91
A/n: Hiii 🥰 I'm very sorry for the hiatus that I originally promised wasn't going to be a hiatus. To escape life, I dove into other fixations such as Destiny 2, the Fallout show, Dune Part 2, and Bridgerton... yeah, I did some bouncing. So far, my summer has been fantastic! Anyway, here's another chapter before I inevitably disappear again 😂
Enjoy!
If there was anything Kayla was extremely grateful for, it was that Spider didn't have a heightened sense of smell as the Na'vi did.
She could smell both Ronal and Tonowari on her skin, and while it internally delighted her, she felt her skin prickle at the thought of Spider of all people being traumatized and learning about her very recent courting by smell alone as they share close quarters with one another. The thought mortified her more than anything, more than the idea of eventually having to tell Jake.
Thankfully, Spider returned home that day none the wiser, Ronal and Tonowari already long gone even with their scents still lingering in Kayla's nose. She felt like a teenager again, embarrassed and trying to hide it from her parents. However, she quickly stomped down that thought at the harsh reminder that she's a grown-ass woman and Spider wasn't a very judgemental kid. He was also someone who had caught onto Ronal and Tonowari's interest in Kayla early on and wouldn't be surprised if he learned the truth.
With that in mind, Kayla emerged from her kelku the next morning wearing the new top the Metkayina clan leaders had gifted her. For a very brief moment, she felt exposed and uncomfortable, the woven beads cool against her skin, but then, she looked down at herself and felt her body relax to see that the top covered just about as much as her threadbare red shirt did. It wasn't even close to revealing as some of the tops Kayla had seen Na'vi women wear, even with the low cut. A small part in the back of Kayla's head felt delighted to realize that this top was definitely made for her.
She still wore her shorts, but the small change in attire was still noticeable as she quickly learned. Na'vi eyes silently observed her as she walked through the village, and even though she heard the Metkayina whisper as she passed them, they weren't hateful or disgusted, but more in awe. Her skin crawled because she didn't know if she preferred it or would much rather have them feel indifferent to her again.
While their eyes all noticed her top, Kayla almost felt the need to throw her shirt back over herself at the thought that the Metkayina might also smell her new scent as well. It would explain the way their noses would twitch and their ears all perk up and turn in her direction when they haven't even noticed her presence yet.
If Spider noticed any of it, he didn't say a word, instead, he informed Kayla that he would be deep-diving with the other reef boys that afternoon. Something crawled in her stomach at the reminder of Ao'nung and other reef boys leaving Lo'ak alone outside the reef before she sternly told Spider to make sure either Lo'ak or Tsireya was with them. Apart from the small, suspicious stare, Spider didn't question her, taking his new bow in hand and heading out to meet his friends, waving back to Kayla as he went and promising to be back before supper.
Walking along the beach, Kayla recognized the tsahik from a mile away, fingers entangled in a worn fishing net. As Kayla walked over to the other woman, she watched the way Ronal's ears lifted and moved in her direction. Ronal looked up from her work and recognized Kayla from a distance, and by the time the dreamwalker approached her, it wasn't hard to deduce how pleased she looked, eyes dancing approvingly over the avatar woman's figure, reaching a hand out to lightly adjust the top on Kayla before nodding once with confidence,
"It suits you perfectly. I was afraid it would not be able to hold up against your beauty."
Despite having a young Na'vi body, Kayla felt as though her heart was ready to give out, her feet barely catching when she initially stumbled in reaction to Ronal's compliment. Kayla's eyes quickly averted, the tip of her ears feeling warm as she quietly thanked the tsahik and changed the subject, making plans to see both her and Tonowari later. After making a brief conversation as to what each other's plans were for the day, Kayla had turned to leave but nearly jolted out of her skin when she felt a gentle tug on her tail. She couldn't help the feigned glare she threw back at Ronal, internally delighted by the rare mischief she saw in the Metkayina woman's eyes, but trying not to show it. Kayla's fake irritation only appeared to amuse Ronal forward, the tsahik tilting her head at the avatar while appreciatively staring her up and down once more, forcing the heat from Kayla's ears to travel down her neck.
The avatar cleared her throat and then finally departed, hiding her own smile as she thought back to Ronal's well-hidden playful behavior. It was nothing like the woman who sharply tugged Kayla's tail the day they first met, further showing just how much things have changed around here.
Summoning an ilu, Kayla makes her way through the reef, reaching the atoll wall where all the various pools travel up one side like stairs, catching various sealife whenever the tide rises up and down. Dozens of Metkayina are fishing and gathering in these pools, with nets, and baskets at their feet. Kayla zeros in on one particular Na'vi and swims over after letting her ilu take off, climbing up onto the slippery wall to make her way over to her friend.
Rutxa looks up and appears smug at the sight of Kayla, blue eyes pointedly narrowed on the avatar's new top while dramatically sniffing the air, "You look... enamored. Had a good evening?"
Kayla's eyes narrow, "Don't play dumb. I bet you're just dying to weave a story about it."
Their grin remained playful, humming dramatically as if deep in thought, "Perhaps if you tell me all about it, I won't have to... fabricate any details."
Kayla lets out a humorous scoff, shaking her head, "You're horrible."
"Yes, that was what my mother called me. Don't abuse it."
The laugh that bubbles out of Kayla coincides with the screech of an approaching ikran. The sound makes Kayla pause and look up to the sky in order to discover which ikran. She only had to briefly catch the color to know the banshee was Neytiri's bonded, and a small wedge of dread made its home in Kayla's chest.
Neytiri lands her ikran gracefully, several yards away from any Metkayina as they go about the pools of the atoll wall. The Na'vi woman looks around before her eyes land on her intended target. Kayla half expected her sister-in-law to bristle at the sight of her, but she felt a small bit of genuine confusion when all she saw was a woman who was trying to appear small and guarded. If Kayla wanted to verbally taunt, she would've pointed out to Neytiri that she almost looked guilty. The two women stare at each other for some time before Neytiri takes a deep breath and starts slowly walking forward, her face pinched with dread at the idea of the long-awaited conversation she was no doubt forcing herself to partake in.
Kayla takes her own deep breath and then motions Rutxa to wait here before drifting over to meet Neytiri halfway. While it felt as though they walked forever to reach each other, both women found themselves standing right in front of one another only seconds later, neither saying a word while their eyes never fully meeting, both hesitant to say anything at first due to their ongoing impasse.
Neytiri looks Kayla up and down before she swallows her pride, both visibly and internally as she opens her mouth, "Your clothes. They are lovely."
The Sully sister's eyes dart off to the side, her words are stiff but courteous, "Thank you."
"Did the tsahik make it?"
The mention of Ronal made Kayla's ears twitch, "What gave it away?"
"It would explain why she asked me about making a bow for Spider. And--" she takes a small whiff of the air around her mate's sister, "You smell like her. Tonowari, too."
"... I see. Don't tell Jake."
She raised a hairless brow at the other woman, "I will not need to. He will smell it."
Kayla pointedly doesn't blink, finally staring directly into Neytiri's eyes with a stern expression, "Which is why I am avoiding him at the moment."
Neytiri quietly observes Kayla, yellow eyes piercing into one another's gaze, trying to sniff out each other's thoughts. The Omatikaya woman is wracked with bafflement. It is a beautiful thing for one to finally find their mate, or, in this case, mates. It should never be something to be ashamed of, as newly mated pairs often run to their families to excitedly share the news. The fact that Kayla would rather hide and avoid Jake baffles Neytiri. She wanted to hiss and scold both of the former sawtute for what was clearly a spat between siblings, along with a dash of pride, but at this time and place, she knew Kayla wouldn't accept nor appreciate her scolding.
Still, it bothered the Na'vi woman. Neytiri knew the two siblings had a lot of conflict between them, but to go as far as to not share such wonderful news with each other? Neytiri would give anything to be in Kayla's position. She would've given anything to be able to excitedly share life updates with her own sister once more. Sylwanin used to love hearing how Neytiri's day went before bed, even though Neytiri wasn't in turn thrilled to hear about what her sister and Tsu'tey would get up to in the woods. Then again, Neytiri was the only person her sister trusted with that information, and it shattered Neytiri's heart to think how she had taken that for granted. She will never make that same mistake again, and any secrets Sylwanin entrusted to her will die with Neytiri.
Hence why she couldn't bring herself to deny Kayla when the other woman was clearly trying to tell her not to share her secrets with Jake. Neytiri exhaled through her nose and nodded in defeat, "I will not breathe a word."
Kayla stiffly nodded and briefly looked away, peering over her shoulder to see if Rutxa was still waiting for her. Neytiri's conflict was easily undetected, watching Kayla when the avatar wasn't looking with a pained expression in her eyes. Everything that had come between the two women lately was pounding against Neytiri's skull, begging her to say something, to make things right, to finally confess her sins out loud. It has been plaguing her ever since the boy-- ever since Spider confronted her about her distaste and mistreatment toward him. Ever since he made her stand in the eyes of her inner demons, her hidden thoughts no longer feel as hidden as they used to be and she's been struggling to accept everything he said was true.
'Denial is a river in Egypt.' It's a phrase she's not familiar with, but it's something she remembered Grace used to say when Neytiri was a child. When the scientist explained what it meant, somehow it threaded its way into Neytiri's head, and she had yet to forget about it. No one could deny Neytiri's grief after everything she's been through, but neither could anyone deny how unfair she had been to Spider his whole life. Despite knowing how innocent he was, Neytiri refused to See him. Despite eventually accepting Jake and loving him for who he is, she couldn't do the same for Spider, and despite knowing how that hurt the child, she didn't care. Or at least-- not at the time. The fact that she didn't care for a child and his feelings was something she came to terms with long ago, but staring Kayla in the face and simply stating she wasn't Spider's mother haunted Neytiri in her sleep.
The expression Kayla gave terrified Neytiri, guilt riddled her mind and heart. She didn't originally care how her words might hurt Spider, but the guilt she felt when her words affected Kayla felt like she took an arrow through the stomach. It only got worse when Neytiri took the time to look around and see everyone else's reactions. Those who mattered most to her, her husband and her children, all had looked at her as though they didn't recognize her. They looked at her as if she was some sort of monster. After spending time to herself, replaying her words to Spider and everyone's faces, Neytiri finally admitted to herself that they were right. She was a monster. She might not be like Quaritch, but she shouldn't go around and pretend she was better than him, especially after they both held a child at knifepoint for the sake of another.
Neytiri had looked down at her reflection in the water that same day -the day Spider called her out- and suddenly realized she no longer recognized herself. Even though there were things no one could blame her for, there were still moments in her life where Neytiri knew she could've done better. Yes, she let her children play with Spider, but she never once acknowledged him. She didn't have to claim him as hers, but she could've at least made the boy feel welcome. She could've invited him to a family dinner at least once, or given a comment or two on how to properly hold a bow when she caught him trying to teach himself.
So many instances flash over Neytiri's eyes, instances where she could have shown kindness or care to a little orphaned boy who had done nothing but admire her family and love her children with every fiber of his little being. But she didn't. And when she thought back to the young woman she used to be... before Hometree and before her father... before Tsu'tey and Sylwanin... that young woman would have shown such kindness to Spider. By Eywa, that young woman might have even grown to love him as she had grown to love Jake.
Regret will forever be her friend as Neytiri finally comes to accept that she was wrong. Feeling a little more courageous with Kayla's eyes no longer on her, Neytiri spoke up once more, albeit a little more softly, and with the most sincere regret, "I am sorry."
Unaware of Neytiri's internal conflict, Kayla's eyes return to hers, squinting with disapproval, "It's not me you should be apologizing to."
Neytiri pressed her eyes shut for a moment, the guilt bleeding into her expression as her ears pinned back against her skull, "I am sorry to you as well. I had threatened your son. I almost killed him in front of you."
"He's n--" Kayla's words caught in her throat, then she swallowed them down and looked away again, trying to hide the small pain in her voice, "Thank you."
Neytiri nods, voice a little more sure, "I would not be any better than the monster who took my son away from me if I took yours."
Kayla wanted to be firm and agree, but her tongue swelled in her mouth, with something itching at the back of her mind that told her not to sound petty and vindictive. A question kept nagging at her, the same question Kiri once asked her. What would she have done if she was in Neytiri's place that night? It was a scenario she couldn't imagine in her head, even if she could imagine a lot.
She hesitates, her posture relaxing and less guarded as she softly asks, "Can... can you explain it to me? So that I can try to understand?"
A visible wince flashed over Neytiri's expression, her eyes wide with distress in response to Kayla's question. Neytiri wasn't sure she could describe what she felt... not without breaking down, that is. Then again, it had been the first time anyone had asked her how she felt instead of just assuming and giving her time to herself. She didn't want that anymore. She's had plenty of time to herself, and a part of her was angry at everyone who continued to give her a wide berth. Solitude was something she no longer needed, and she wanted everyone to stop treating her like she was going to break.
Perhaps talking about it was something Neytiri needed just as much as Kayla in order to feel some sort of comfort. The idea makes her take a deep breath and slowly answer, "It is not the same as losing a parent, in my eyes. I lost my father, and even though I miss him every day, we are told that our parents will join Eywa before us and that they will be waiting for us there when we eventually do the same. For a child... it's different. A parent should always go before their child. That should always be the way of things... and that was stolen from me. You might not know this, but you should be prepared for when Ronal has her child. When we are born, the first tsaheylu is with our mother. To form that strong and emotional bond. To lose the first child I ever bonded with--"
Kayla's tail and ears lower, blinking rapidly to contain hidden pain, her imagination running wild with everything Neytiri had described. It helped that Neytiri was trying to explain it... but Kayla couldn't imagine how it must feel for a grieving mother to say all of this out loud.
Neytiri sucks in a sharp, wheezing breath, but it wavers and her lips begin to quiver. Her eyes grow wet with tears as her hand reaches up to try and gently claw at her chest, visibly and verbally shaking, "The pain for my father and even my sister do not compare... I feel as though I have a gaping wound in my chest that will not stop bleeding. It's always there, ever flowing, and I cannot take a breath without remembering it. My baby who I had kept safe inside me for so long... suddenly ripped from my arms before he could find love... or have a family... or be the olo'eyktan he was always meant to be... I had always wanted to see him as a father, and now I will never have that."
Saying it out loud felt as though she was living Neteyam's death all over again. Fresh tears spilled down Neytiri's beautiful face, carving a familiar path down her cheeks as a sob interrupted her explanation. Her chest squeezed painfully, and her sobs only got worse as Kayla suddenly reached out and pulled her into a tight embrace, purposely hiding Neytiri's face as the grieving mother continued to cry her heart out, wishing she could just be numb. Neytiri didn't miss the way Kayla buried her own wet face to hide from the world, nuzzled into Neytiri's shoulder. The female Na'vi continued to sob, and even though the grief was still too fresh, it helped to have finally put it all into words. It helped to know that someone was trying to understand her when she felt as though everyone else could only pity her.
"I'm sorry..." Kayla whispered as Neytiri's cries began to subside, "I could never imagine what that feels like."
Neytiri didn't miss how her shoulder felt wet where Kayla's face lay, and something inside the Na'vi woman snapped into place. She didn't want Kayla to imagine. She didn't even want Kayla to understand because that would mean having her sister-in-law go through the same agony she went through. Neytiri didn't want anyone to go through the loss of a child, let alone her husband's dear sister. The thought of having Kayla go through pain similar to hers nearly brought Neytiri to anger. Determined and dry of her tears, Neytiri pulled away, lifting her hands to rest gently on Kayla's shoulders, fixing her with a sharp eye.
"I do not want you to ever experience this pain. I do not want you to end up like me, ma tsmuke."
Kayla shook her head, "There's nothing that says it's wrong to end up like you. You're a good woman and a good mother. You're fiercely protective of your children. Any mother would thrive if they were even remotely like you," watching doubt and pain creep back up Neytiri's face drives Kayla to quickly add, "And I was wrong if I ever suggested otherwise. I never blamed you for protecting your children, Neytiri."
"I know," the Na'vi woman whispers, eyes briefly lowering to the ground in shame, "But I should have never belittled you for protecting yours."
The two women stand in silence once more, now filled with understanding as two mothers protecting their young. With her newfound determination, Neytiri raises her head high, straightens her posture, and stiffly nods, "If you'll allow me, I will go apologize to the boy."
Kayla is silent for the moment, carefully watching Neytiri before slowly replying, "... I better not hear that you hurt him again."
"You won't."
And with that, both women nod and part ways. Neytiri moves back in the direction of her ikran while Kayla stands still and watches her leave. Wiping the remaining tear tracks on her face as she walked, a thought crossed Neytiri's mind, making her pause in her tracks. A brief memory of Sylwanin flashes through her mind, happy and glowing as she tells Neytiri that Tsu'tey had begun courting her. It was a small pain in her heart at the memory, a small pinprick of a needle, faint but still causing her heart to bleed at the thought of her sister. Swiftly turning back around, Neytiri briefly sees Sylwanin in the flesh, standing there with a beaming smile before the facade fades, and reverts back to Makayla, whose head was tilted while quizzically watching Neytiri.
Neytiri's breath stuttered for a moment before the words began to tumble from her mouth, "For what it is worth, ma tsmuke, I am happy for you. If Ronal or Tonowari or either of them hurt you, I will kill them for you."
The words briefly stun Kayla, eyes wide and jaw open with shock, before the spell breaks and she finds herself laughing. The needle in Neytiri's heart fades, along with the pain of her sister's memory. Neytiri found herself smiling as well, proud that she pulled such a reaction from her new sister.
~~~~~~~~~
As promised, Spider came home before dinner, and Kayla looked up from cleaning her AR with a smile, "Hey, kiddo."
"Do you have to do that a lot?" Spider tilts his head down at the weapon with curiosity, then briefly looks back at his charge, "Will it not work otherwise?"
Kayla rolls her lips, unsure of how to explain to a child who prefers the life of a Na'vi compared to humans. She shakes her head, "It could jam, for one. I have to clean it for the same reason you have to eat. It needs to function."
Spider nods and says nothing else, which sounds off a dozen other bells in Kayla's head, quick to understand that his questions and attempt at small talk usually meant something else was going on and he was deflecting. She knows that behavior all too well. She sets the weapon aside and gives all her attention to the teen, knowingly smirking at him, "What's up?"
His eyes immediately dart away, arms folding in around him as if to protect what little there was left to hide. He looked embarrassed, ashamed he had been caught as he mumbled under his breath, "Neytiri apologized."
Her expression melts into something solemn and sincere, nodding once, "I know."
"Did you make her?" He asked with suspicion in his gaze.
"No, but she asked me if she could."
"How come?"
Kayla shrugged, feigning innocence as she tried to play nonchalantly, "I'm guessing she was under the impression I didn't want her anywhere near you."
He stared at her for a while, unconvinced, "Right."
Then he moved on to the next topic, "'You gonna break your link tonight?"
Kayla groaned quietly, playfully rolling her eyes up at the ceiling of the marui, "Yeah. Norm radioed earlier to pester me, and I figured I'd see how everyone was doing. 'You need me to tell him anything?"
"My spares' got plenty of battery. I'll be good for a while. Tell everyone I said hi."
"You got it."
~~~~~~~~~
She wakes in the link bay with a queasy stomach and a splitting headache.
It wasn't nearly as bad as the last time she broke her link, but the moment the blinding lights of the biolab flashed in Kayla's face as the lid of the gurney was lifted, she felt her stomach turn and she had to bite the inside of her cheek.
Sitting up with a stifled groan, Kayla holds her head in her hand, trying to stop the bright room from spinning. Norm, dutifully standing beside her with his arms crossed, decided not to beat around the bush, even in her weakened state,
"You can't keep doing this, ya know. Staying back there for long periods of time is going to kill your body here, one day at a time. It's safe to say you've reached the limit of human-avatar links."
"Maybe that's a good thing, Norm," Kayla muttered, able to roll her shoulders back and sit up straight without feeling dizzy, "With data like that, the RDA won't be able to get the go-ahead with building avatars for civilians. This can keep them at bay for a while."
"But it's not a good thing for you, Kayla."
"I know. I just..." she tried waving it off, avoiding Norm's narrowed gaze like a child being scolded, "I just need a little more time."
Norm scoffed, unimpressed, "You're stubborn. Just like your brother."
When that doesn't pull a reaction out of her, Spellman decides to break more bad news, "There's more. Scouts have reported seeing a rogue ikran dressed in military gear flying through the mountains, and it's pretty close to our base. They've confirmed the rider to be Colonel Miles Quaritch."
Clouded eyes flick briefly to Norm, widened with shock before Kayla looks away again, exhaling her opinion, "Fuck."
"I thought maybe you could tell Jake for me when you get back."
Kayla is silent for a few moments before she replies, "No. No, let's not tell him."
"What?" Norm rustled.
"If we tell Jake, he'll just wanna come back and track Quaritch down. Maybe that's what Quaritch wants. Right now, Jake needs to be with his family instead of looking for revenge."
Kayla's eyes return to her friend's, wide and pleading, "Please, Norm. Please don't tell him."
They have a silent stand-off, the occasional sound of machinery breaking said silence. Eventually, Norm's posture sinks in defeat, making him look smaller and older than he actually is, "... Fine."
"Swear it."
"I swear it... unless he asks me."
Kayla scoffed, rolling her eyes, "Fine."
"... When you say you need more time, I meant when I said you're just like your brother."
She silently watched him with confusion but didn't verbally ask what he meant, waiting for him to elaborate. Norm looks off to a far wall, recounting very distant memories he hadn't thought of in years, "He was also running out of time, and he was getting desperate. He said he needed more time; time to see Neytiri again."
When Norm looked back at Kayla, he noticed she was purposely keeping her own gaze glued to the floor, her long matted hair covering most of her face, mumbling to a point where he struggled to hear her, "It's not like that this time."
"You're lying." Norm immediately retorts, taking a gamble on his theory when Kayla doesn't immediately try to defend herself. They both knew she was lying only to herself, and Norm didn't hesitate to point it out, "Something's changed."
Seeing no point in lying or keeping it secret, Kayla sighs, "Tonowari and Ronal have officially asked to court me."
Norm's eyes widen, "And...?"
"I agreed but asked to wait on the rest of it until I'm officially one of the People."
"Smart..." He couldn't help it. He needed to lighten the mood and feel a little smug. Norm deserved that much as a boastful smile spread across his face, "Also 'I told you so.'"
Kayla scowls, her eyes finally looking up at him to express how stolid she felt, "Dick."
He snorts, unaffected, finally moving to sit down next to her on the gurney, "So... do they know about... you know... the fact you can't have kids?"
Her posture visibly stiffened, "It didn't come up, no."
"That's probably something you need to discuss with them, Kayla, and soon."
"I know."
His hand reaches out to lightly tap her knee, "I am not saying that it'll be a deal-breaker for them. I don't think they'll care, to be honest. But you don't keep secrets from the people you love."
"Hey," she nudged him back, trying to force a teasing smile on her face, "Why do you think I'm telling you all this?"
"How sweet," Norm scoffs goodnaturedly, "But that's just you trying to deflect."
~~~~~~~~~
It was strange being able to sleep in the shack again, and even more strange to be the only occupant. Kayla looked around the tiny man-made space, eyes flicking to her bunk, the desk, the small kitchenette, and then the vacant wheelchair she never had the heart to throw out when she first arrived at High Camp. It now lay folded up and leaning against the corner wall, former white letters that spelled 'Sully' now unrecognizable. A fond smile graced her lips when she thought back to the three weeks she and Spider stayed here and the teenager struggled to figure out how to balance on the accessible chair as it rocked on its back wheels. The attempt ended with him falling and rolling backward and leaving Kayla in a fit of uncontrollable laughter that he eventually joined.
The thought of her boy made her chest squeeze uncomfortably for a moment, the feeling of loneliness suddenly very apparent in this small shack. How strange that she was sitting in a place she had once tried to call home, but now she felt homesick for an island that was oceans away, or in her case, one neural link away. Realistically, she could go lay down in a link bay and wake up in her marui, awaken to Spider's nivi swinging slowly just off to the side of hers as he sleeps. Kayla shook her head and smiled to herself, amused at the idea of walking to the link bay only to be intercepted by either Norm or Max, both men who had adamantly told her not to link back until it was early morning in Awa'atlu so both her human and avatar form could receive separate reprieve.
As much as she would like to entertain the idea of rest, the lingering silence in her shack made it feel as though the walls were closing in around her. Kayla knew she wouldn't be able to sleep if she were alone, so she kept herself busy instead, starting with her overgrown hair.
Looking into the mirror that night, a small sense of normalcy returned when she had managed to cut her hair to the same short length she had when she first arrived on Pandora. While her reflection didn't initially scare her anymore without any matted long hair or sunken eyes, Kayla still had a hard time recognizing the woman in the mirror without blue skin or a piercing yellow gaze. It felt wrong and her skin prickled and itched with this revelation. A twisted part inside of her wanted to try and scratch her face off until she recognized it, but she refrained from doing so, knowing how delusional it sounded. It felt as though she was living in someone else's body and she needed to return to hers despite the logical voice in her head reminding her that she was born in this body, as a human, not a Na'vi, and she was foolish to believe otherwise.
The unrealistic voice in her head argued that there was nothing wrong with being a little foolish.
~~~~~~~~~
Waking in her avatar gave Kayla a wave of relief, sitting up in her hammock and stretching as if she had never left. The worries of the night before are immediately forgotten as she and Spider venture out of the home to search for friends and family.
The three reef children Spider has been associating himself with were the first of the day to greet them, and it was clear that the silent news of the Metkayina's clan leaders' courtship was not lost to their children. Kayla was surprised when Tsireya ran up and hugged the older woman's waist, the girl giddy and unable to contain her bright smile. Spider tilts his head curiously at the interaction but otherwise says nothing.
Kayla took a peek at the girl's brother and saw a slightly different story. Ao'nung was glaring, but not at Kayla or Spider. Ao'nung was scowling at Rotxo, the latter of whom looked gobsmacked while staring up at Kayla, unable to hide his shock even as he turned to his best friend to see his reaction. Ao'nung only scoffed and shoved Rotxo's surprised face away with one hand, mumbling to Spider that they should get a move on.
"Where are we going?" Spider asked curiously.
"Father wanted to show you how to weave our fishing baskets."
His play on words wasn't lost to the group, certainly not to Kayla and Spider. The adult avatar managed to hold back the wince at the thought of Spider silently noting how Ao'nung didn't say 'my father', but did her best to pretend she didn't even notice. Instead, Kayla decided to follow Ao'nung and Spider to the chieftain's marui, while Tsireya and Rotxo had split up to do some chores, promising to catch up with the other reef and Sully kids later.
Tonowari greeted them as they entered, both he and Kayla sharing a secret smile as she crouched down beside him. Having many obligations around the village yesterday, the olo'eyktan had only been able to see Kayla from a distance and had yet to get a better look at how she appeared in her new top apart from what Ronal had described to him. Kayla could tell how much he enjoyed seeing her wearing his courting gift by the way his large hand grazed over her skin, encompassing her back whenever both Ao'nung and Spider were occupied with the task he had given them.
The two teenagers were busy weaving large pieces of what would eventually become a fishing basket between them, taking up a lot of floor space with the amount of dry grass, seaweed, and pliant wood being used to fashion and form such a large item. Tonowari was mostly instructing Spider on how to do it since Ao'nung was already skilled in basket weaving, but the chief's son was also impatient and this served as a way to tame such impulse. The olo'eyktan works effortlessly alongside them, his words gentle yet stern,
"Work together, like brothers. You are building a house. You're building your village. You're building a family."
Kayla restrains her smile, despite how warm her chest felt while watching the three of them work together in weaving. She allowed herself to play at the idea of this image being hers one day without trying to get her hopes up. As she watches Tonowari instruct Ao'nung and Spider to take turns weaving their basket pieces together, she gives into the desire to call them 'my boys'... but only in her head.
~~~~~~~~~
Flashing lights, spinning faster and faster while his eyes are forced wide open to watch, feeling as though something sharp was penetrating his skull, embedding itself into his memories...
His screams go unheard this time, and no one comes to stop the machine, not even Quaritch, as the blood drips from his nose, bare skin cold against metal. Spider feels as though his head is going to explode--
Sitting up in his nivi, Spider finds himself gasping for air while his eyes try to get accustomed to darkness... no flashing lights in sight. His hammock gently swings with him as he moves, his mind taking an embarrassingly long time to remember where he was. Spider takes a bunch of large, greedy gulps of air, his breathing mask hissing in tandem, while he looks around the marui to remember he isn't alone.
Kayla was sitting up in her hammock and carefully watching him. Spider's mind briefly felt shame for being responsible for waking her, but he was too busy breathing to form an apology. It's not like she would accept it anyway. The two of them have already spent countless nights waking up due to Spider's nightmares, and Kayla has been adamant in assuring him that he wasn't at fault for any of it. Once she knows Spider is aware of her presence, Kayla silently stands up and moves over to the kid, standing over his nivi as he's sitting up, starting to relax.
When trying to talk, his throat felt raw and his voice only added to it, "... Hey."
"Hey," Kayla bravely reaches out to cup the back of his head, her hand a gentle, warm weight that feels a lot better than a cold, metal slab, "Was it the scanner again?"
He nods, but the moment Kayla goes to step away, something inside him panics. It felt stupid and childish, but Spider couldn't stop the impulse that made his arms move around Kayla's torso and pull her into a tight hug, pressing his mask up against her ribs as his body started to uncontrollably shake.
Kayla froze, arms raised in the air with hesitancy, blinking multiple times to ensure she was still wide awake and not just imagining this. The teenager only burrows further into her as if she had just found him lost in a shopping mall. For several seconds, she didn't even dare to breathe so as not to spook him before she eventually began to relax and gently settle her large arms around his shoulders, her voice softer than before,
"Alright... it's alright, Spider. You're safe now. What do you need?"
"Just," Spider huffed, feeling incredibly stupid yet distressed at the same time. He knows he shouldn't be acting so small and meek, but the idea of going back to sleep terrified him, "Talk. About anything."
The marui is filled with silence as Kayla wracks her brain to come up with things to say, and then decides that now might as well be as good of a time as any, especially if it meant helping distract Spider from his nightmares, "... Ronal and Tonowari have asked me to be their mate."
Initially, he's quiet while digesting the news, but he's honestly not surprised. He thinks back to the way both clan leaders and even their children had been treating him differently today and the day before. It explains the certain looks Spider has seen other Metkayina give Kayla and her new attire... and it would possibly explain Neytiri's sudden apology to him.
Instead of pointing all of these signs out to his guardian, Spider just snorts in his mask and keeps his arms around her waist, "I told you so."
"Shut up," Kayla huffed under her breath, but even he could tell there was no heat behind it, especially since her arms only tightened around him, "I'm not taking an 'I told you so' remark from a sixteen-year-old, especially since I already got that from Norm. I'm dense, okay?"
Spider laughed and let the silence linger for a minute before reopening his mouth, "... So? Did you accept?"
"Not entirely. I told them I wanted to wait until after my Iknimaya is complete."
"Makes sense. That's usually the way it goes. Courting sometimes lasts years for the Na'vi, so it's not entirely something they wouldn't be used to. You did the right thing."
Kayla's tail leisurely sways behind her, the tone in her voice sounding hopeful, "You think so?"
He closes his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to feel like a child for once, to be held and comforted before he answers quietly, "Yeah. I do."
~~~~~~~~~
While it was an honest answer, there were slightly different intentions behind it. Spider was impressed by the way Kayla handled her courtship, and any respectable Na'vi would approve of her mature decision to wait. However, Spider now felt as though he was racing against the clock, and at least this way, he still had some time to prove himself useful.
Now that he was proven right that Ronal and Tonowari did, in fact, wish to mate with Kayla, Spider felt the need to work harder and become a more willing and helpful individual. He did what he could without the ability to connect with a tswin and tried to always give a helping hand whenever and wherever. Offering help wasn't hard, especially if he offered it to Tsireya since she always had something for him to do, but some Na'vi still have a hard time accepting Spider's help for... obvious reasons.
But even if the Metkayina didn't want his help, the human teen wasn't just going to lie down in defeat. He found many ways of helping around the village, either by his friends' side or himself, now that everyone wasn't as worried about leaving him alone. Other than to help with chores, Spider barely spent time with his friends outside of work, too busy trying to keep himself relevant. He wanted-- no, needed to pull his weight, too ashamed of the idea of being useless to the point he would get left behind again. As silly as he felt for still having such fears... it was still warranted. He wanted to give the Metkayina a chance to trust him and consider him a viable part of this village so they wouldn't make him leave. As much as he missed the Forest, he couldn't bear the thought of going back alone. So if his friends and his... guardian were staying here, then so was he, and he was determined to prove that he deserved to stay here.
These thoughts plagued him almost every waking moment and thus distracted him from the world around him. While Spider was busy gutting and cleaning some fish Lo'ak had caught, he was approached by the very clan leaders he sought to impress, but hadn't noticed their presence until they spoke,
"Hello, Spider."
Spider's posture straightens instinctively in response to Tonowari's strong voice. Looking to his right, the teenager glanced up and met eyes with the olo'eyktan, standing tall beside his mate and greeting the boy with a pleasant smile. Spider stood up and appropriately greeted the clan leaders with a gesture of his hand and a small, almost sheepish smile, "Hello."
"Is your bow of any use?"
It was difficult to see behind the mask, but Tonowari could've sworn Spider's eyes brightened at the mention of his bow, "It's solid and nicely made. Thanks again."
"Of course."
Spider briefly glanced at the silent Ronal, and he felt as though he imagined the smile on the tsahik's face and quickly looked away to pretend he didn't see it, "Uh... is there anything I can do for you two?"
While Ronal may or may not have been smiling, Spider dared to describe Ronal's tone as sounding almost light when she spoke, "There might be."
Tonowari chuckled at her being vague and decided to specify for the boy who looked between the two of them with such confusion, "We came to ask for your blessing."
The boy tilts his head, "My... blessing?"
"To court your guardian, Makayla te Suli."
Spider appeared uneasy by their motive, crossing his arms over his chest while the confusion was still evident, "Why are you asking me? Shouldn't you be asking Jake?"
Ronal snorts lightheartedly, "Makayla has been vocal about who we should and shouldn't be asking for permission. It's not her brother's approval she wants, it's yours."
He stood there, motionless, trying to figure out the ever-growing puzzle in his head that was made in Kayla's image. He didn't know why she would tell both of her future mates to seek him out over Jake, someone who was related to her by blood, despite their differences. While Spider understood that Makayla felt responsible for him, that didn't mean he was suddenly entitled to any life-changing decisions she had to make. It's not like her decision to join Ronal and Tonowari's family would affect Spider... much.
The idea of being left in an empty marui came to mind, but he quickly stomped the image down, glancing off toward the ocean as he finally gave the two clan leaders his answer, "Then... yeah, I guess it's fine."
~~~~~~~~~
They must have told Kayla his answer, because once she returned home, Spider was met with a cautious look in her eyes,
"And you're really okay with this?" She asked without even greeting him.
Knowing what she was talking about without even asking, Spider only looked at her with the same confusion he had given Ronal and Tonowari, "Yeah?"
"Kid, I'm not doing anything that's going to make you uncomfortable."
Guilt ate away at his stomach, his sole purpose of trying to remain useful to the Metkayina still at the forefront of his mind. He didn't want Kayla to hold herself back for the sake of his comfort. That would only make him a burden and that was the last thing he wanted. He needed to prove that he didn't need her should the day come when she moved into the chieftain's marui and he was left behind.
Trying to keep his expression neutral, Spider tried to explain this to her without having to go into detail about his insecurities, "They're going to be your family someday, not mine."
Realization dawns on Kayla as her eyes widen, "Is that what you want?" When he doesn't answer, keeping his head lowered, Kayla tries a different approach when she feels as though she was onto something, "'Cause personally, I'd rather have you with me on this. I go where you go, kiddo and anyone who gets with me will have to deal with that."
Stunned, he looked up at her with disbelief, unable to help how accusatory his voice sounded, "Why? Why do you care so much?"
There it is. A question that should've been asked a long time ago, but Spider had always been afraid to ask, so confident that he wouldn't like the answer. As for Kayla, she had always been afraid of the day he'd finally ask her because she wasn't sure if she would be able to say the right thing or even give an honest answer. Half the time, she knew she was winging it when it came to taking care of Spider, but... isn't that what most people have been telling her parenting is all about? As much as she wished to continue being stubborn about it or outright refuse it, Kayla had to admit to herself that even if she would never be Spider's mother, she was the closest thing he had to a parental figure. And... she knew, deep down, that's what she wanted but she had been putting her own wants aside if it meant that's not what Spider wanted.
But clearly, he wanted to make sense as to why she wanted him to be comfortable with their new clan leaders, along with everything that came with them, so finally, Kayla took a deep breath and put it all out on the table, "Because you're a kid, Spider, and you deserve a family. I'm asking you if I can officially be your family. And who knows, maybe one day Ronal, Tonowari, and their kids could be your family."
Spider sucked in a sharp breath of air without realizing it, the soft hiss of his mask filling the marui. His nerves made him want to instinctually laugh it off like she was joking, but he didn't picture Kayla to be the kind of person who joked about such things, especially when he was involved. Replaying her words in his head, he almost believed he imagined it; like it was muffled in the back of his mind because that's what he wanted to hear her say... and yet the words had matched up with her mouth as she spoke... had he imagined it?
There was a small, nasty voice in the back of his head telling him that of course, he imagined it because why in her right mind would Kayla want to be his family? He's nothing but trouble and Kayla was being courted by the leaders of the Metkayina, two respected individuals whose image would surely be ruined by Spider's very presence.
Another small, more kind voice in his head told Spider that Kayla was right and that he deserved to have a family. Sure, it might not be the family he was born into or the family he had wanted practically his whole life, but it could be his, the family he actually needed. He thought of Ao'nung and Tsireya, two Na'vi who had become such unlikely friends... and yet they could be more? Ronal and Tonowari, who have been decent to him, could potentially be more?
Of course, there's also Kayla, the female avatar who looked unsure as she stood before Spider, staring down at him with fear as if she had said the wrong thing. He couldn't possibly hope that this was her intention, and so he swallowed the dryness in his throat before hesitantly replying,
"So... you're not asking if I'm comfortable about this for... other reasons?"
She frowned, "What other reasons?"
"I don't know..." he shrugged and found himself looking away, sheepish to admit it, "I thought you were asking me all this to make sure I would be okay with getting left alone again when you inevitably go to be with them."
He didn't see the way Kayla's eyes briefly widen in horror before she cursed under her breath, crouching down beside him while bravely placing a hand on his shoulder to gain his attention, "Shit, Spider-- I'm sorry. I can see why that looked bad. No, I'm not leaving you alone just because I intend on seeing someone. I take my responsibilities very seriously, thank you very much."
Ah, yes. Responsibilty. That's who he was to Kayla. It was a good reminder for Spider not to get his hopes up, a reminder that Kayla was a parental figure, but she could never be more than that. He didn't dare glance over at the bookshelf where his mother's picture was displayed, not wanting Kayla to misinterpret anything.
"... Okay."
Kayla's eyebrows furrow, trying not to appear hopeful, "Okay?"
He nods, "Okay."
Kayla smiled then, more confidently and unaware of Spider's hidden thoughts, but he smiled back, regardless. She squeezed his shoulder once more before pulling away, humming with a small, playful tone in her voice as she mentioned, "You know, eventually we'll have to move in with them, right? Are you comfortable with that? You know that families usually pile together at night."
Spider's face slowly begins to contort with uncertainty, "... You and I aren't used to that."
"Nope. We're not."
Nervously, he smiles, "Shit. Is that a dealbreaker?"
The laughter Kayla let out was cheerful and full of life. It was also contagious as Spider found himself laughing as well, and despite his doubt, there was a small bit of weight that had to been lifted from his shoulders. Despite being unsure of what the future holds for him... at the very least, there was going to be someone to keep him safe. Whether or not Kayla could be his family she mentioned, there was also the uncertainty of whether or not the clan leaders and their children would think the same. Either way, his acceptance clearly made Kayla happy, and he didn't want to ruin that with his insecurities.
~~~~~~~~~
If there's one thing Jake can confidently say about his sister, it's that if she wants him to know something, she'll tell him.
It was obvious to everyone that Kayla was not afraid to tell Jake whatever she was thinking. She's not afraid to speak her mind to him, no matter how brutal, and while there are times that Jake secretly appreciates it, lately it's been disheartening due to recent... obvious incidents.
So, when Kayla avoided him for two days, Toruk Makto enjoyed the peace and quiet, but Neytiri gave him a knowing expression that told him he wasn't being very true to himself in those moments. He eventually had to admit to himself that the silence was getting to him and he would've preferred his little sister yelling at him than straight up avoiding his presence. He eventually gave in and sought her out on the third day.
He finds his sister in her marui with Spider that morning, rolling up their separate nivi and getting prepared for the day ahead. Jake watches them for a moment, still unsure of how to address them if neither was going to admit they were mother and son, before announcing his presence. Kayla, once laid back and content, ready to face the day, now looked tense and wary at the sound of her brother's voice. Jake tried not to let it bother him, keeping his expression neutral as he offered to assist Kayla with any chores she had.
She agreed, with reluctance, and moved to meet him in the doorway. Jake did his best to keep his face impassive, but he struggled when Kayla walked close enough to the point he could catch a whiff of her scent. It was by no means her own, or the one Jake had affiliated as his sister whenever she was near. It smelled familiar, but it wasn't Kayla's and while it was faint, it was definitely new. It bothered him for a moment as both he and Kayla walked out of the marui together,his brain trying to conjure where he had smelled that particular scent before. While Jake wanted to mention it, he wisely doesn't say a word for many reasons. The whole scent debacle was a Na'vi thing and he could understand if Kayla wasn't entirely comfortable about the concept, and she may not understand it fully herself.
And like before, he knows that if there's something Kayla wants him to know, she'll tell him.
Kayla had asked Jake to help her with a canoe she's been wanting to make for a while now, and so together they conjured up the necessary supplies and started hauling it all back to her pod. She trailed behind Jake, silent for the most part, and the tension in the air was palpable, almost worse than the silent treatment she had been giving her brother for a few days. Jake knew something was right on the tip of her tongue, practically hearing the gears in her head without even needing to see her face as he walked in front of her. It was the same, intense silence he remembered experiencing when she was younger, right before she came out to her brothers. Tommy, ever the nurturing sibling, was worried for Kayla and had gently told her that if there was something she'd like to get off her chest, he and Jake would always hear her out, and no matter what, they would always be there for her.
Jake felt his chest squeeze painfully at the memory, so he was glad to distract himself from it when Kayla's voice suddenly spoke up from behind him,
"Jake."
He continued to walk towards her home as it drew near, ear tilted back in her direction, over his shoulder, "Hm?"
"There's something I got to tell you--"
She paused, and before Jake could ask her to elaborate, a soft thud from behind him gently rattled the woven pathway beneath his feet, followed by the sound of a large splash. Jake frowned and turned back around, only for his sister to no longer be standing there. In her place, was the basket of supplies she had been carrying, the contents spilled across the walkway and even rolling into the water below, the soft plopping sound of small items crashing into the water filling the air while Kayla was nowhere to be seen.
Something heavy falls in Jake's gut, as his ears point up and dance around in alertness. He reacts fast by quickly setting down his items and sprinting to the edge of the path, looking down into the water.
"Kayla!"
He sees a small shadow, quickly growing smaller as it sinks further into the water. It was the only thing that crossed his mind before diving into the sea.
The loud splash followed by Jake's distressed voice calling out to Makayla grabbed Spider's attention and steps out of the kelku, just in time to see the revered Toruk Makto diving straight into the water, abandoning baskets full of spilled supplies all along the pathway in his panicked rush. Spider's heart plummets in the five seconds Jake was underwater, and when the older man had yet to break the surface, Spider found himself running down the woven path toward the spot Jake had jumped from, even if he didn't believe he could be much help to a large, full-sized Na'vi, fearing the worst.
By the time Spider reached the deserted supplies scattered across the walkway, Jake had finally resurfaced, gasping for air while water spilled into his eyes and ears. The former marine struggled to paddle with just one arm back toward the path walk while trying to keep a fully grown female avatar afloat, her closed eyes doing nothing to help the panic begin to eat away at her brother's chest.
Despite being small, Spider scrambled to help Jake lift Kayla's body out of the water, hooking his arms underneath hers and lifting with all his might with a soft grunt. Jake helped by lifting Kayla's legs out of the water, and once she was lying across the pathway on her back, Jake lifted himself out of the water before frantically crawling over to her, gently shoving Spider out of Kayla's space so he could inspect her for injuries.
Nothing visible appeared to be wrong with her, but Kayla's eyes remained closed and when Jake initially dragged her out of the water, he couldn't help but notice how lifeless her body moved. Or, in a sense, didn't move.
"Hey!" Jake practically yelled in her face, his hand beginning to gently pat her cheek, only for the motion to grow into harsher slaps the longer she refused to open her eyes.
The panic that was beginning to rise up to Jake's throat only added to the stern, angry tone in his voice as he yelled at his sister's face, "Heyheyhey, wake up. Kayla!"
"Kayla?" Spider's voice called out, less afraid of sounding panicked while fear was evident behind his mask when directing his attention to Jake, "What's wrong with her?"
"I don't know..." Jake initially replied before pausing his train of thought, a sinking feeling of familiarity washing over him when he started to analyze Kayla's symptoms and recognize the signs. It had been over a decade... but he'd seen this happen before, and the thought scared him.
"Spider, do you have your flashlight?"
Without asking for an explanation, Spider hands him the flashlight he kept in a small pouch of necessities he had tied around his loincloth.
"There we go..." Jake mutters under his breath almost as if trying to soothe and reassure himself, turning on the flashlight before leaning over Kayla's face. He takes his free hand and forces one of her eyelids to peel back, shining the bright light directly into her eye before moving on to the other one.
Her pupils don't move or even dilate, confirming Jake's growing fear, "Shit. She's not in there."
"What?" Spider croaked, suddenly hating the way his eyes felt warm.
"She's not in there," Jake automatically explained, "Something or someone interrupted her link."
Jake tries catching his breath, willing himself to regain a bit of self-control. He didn't want to assume the worst, but at the very least, Kayla wasn't dead, and her avatar didn't appear to be injured. For all he knew, Kayla had simply woken up hundreds of miles away, among their human allies and the Omatikaya. He'll just have to make a call back to High Camp and they can sort out this small situation. Nothing major...
He kept telling himself that as he bent down and lifted Kayla up into his arms, supporting her back and the crook of her legs while trying to maneuver around Spider, "Hang on-- watch out. Let's get her back to my place."
Spider dutifully follows, bounding down the woven path just to be able to catch up to Jake's long strides, the boy's eyes never leaving Kayla's avatar, "What do we do?"
"Let me try and contact Norm."
The walk back to the Sully marui felt like forever, with Jake trying to stamp down his growing anxiety the longer it took to get back. When they finally arrived, Jake and Spider brought Kayla inside only to find themselves alone, with no one else home. Jake gently lays Kayla down and immediately beelines for his long-range radio, gripping the device harshly as he speaks into it,
"Dirty Falcon, Dirty Falcon, do you read me? This is Devil Dog, over."
Jake releases the button and waits, the pod filled with static and silence. Spider kneels down beside Kayla's head, staring at Jake's radio with a rising, fluttering feeling in his chest that makes chills rise across his skin. As he and Jake continued to sit in silence, the lack of response on Norm's end was palpable.
Jake could hear his own heart racing in his ears as he brought the radio to his mouth once more, "Norm, it's Jake. Are you there? Norm?"
Silence.
"Norm? Norm?"
~~~~~~~~~
He wasn't sure how many times he had tried calling High Camp as minutes turned into hours. Whether it was six or seven attempts, Toruk Makto had begun to inspect the radio to ensure it was even working, not wanting to entertain the thought that something might be wrong on the other end of the communication. Each time he spoke into the radio and then stopped to wait for a response, he couldn't help the glances he'd send over to Spider. Each time, as the silence lingered between each call, the teenager's face only fell further and it made Jake's chest feel like lead. By the time the suns were at the highest peak in the sky, the village stirred with whispers about Makayla te Suli's collapse. As people gradually learned what had happened, Jake found his home being bombarded with not only his wife and children as they raced back to the pod but other Na'vi as well, much to his surprise.
Some of his children's friends were also present. Ao'nung and Tsireya were with Lo'ak when they heard about what happened to Kayla and immediately came running back to the marui with him, concern etched on their young faces. Jake watched with confusion as the reef siblings moved like a well-oiled machine. Ao'nung, as if on instinct, knelt down beside Spider, inspecting Kayla's avatar while Tsireya sternly let Lo'ak know that she was going to fetch her parents.
Jake heard this but didn't register the words until the young girl was already heading out the door, and by then it was already too late to stop her. Lo'ak quickly distracted his father from his racing thoughts when he asked what had happened to his aunt. By the time Jake recounted the events, the rest of the Sullys were speeding into the marui and Tsireya had returned with the clan leaders.
Ronal was like a tidal wave as she bounded into the Sullys' home, a fearsome expression in her eyes that would immediately make any normal man flinch had Jake not been exposed to Grace Augustine's own ferocity,
"And why have you brought her back here instead of to me?"
"Because she's not injured and this has nothing to do with spirituality," Jake found himself saying robotically, instinctively falling into the role of Toruk Makto to help him not acknowledge the hidden anxiety deep in his gut, "Makayla's human form must have woken up and that's why she collapsed here. She's... she's no longer possessing this body."
Tonowari hovers over his mate like a protective shadow as she bends down over Kayla's avatar, the olo'eyktan's eyes hardened with determination to find a solution as he addresses Jake, "Is that normal?"
Jake's ears pin back, eyes unfocused for a moment, "No, it's not. This only happens if someone is forced out of their Na'vi body. I've seen it before."
Ronal grabs Kayla's chin to tilt the avatar's head to look up at her, "Makayla? Makayla, can you hear me?"
The formality had puzzled Jake for a moment, staring oddly at the tsahik as she continued to carefully inspect his sister's avatar. Peering over at his wife, he noticed Neytiri looking back at him, waiting patiently with her tail gently swaying behind her, the way she normally looked when she expected him to figure something out. Whatever it was, it would have to wait as Jake shook his head and turned back toward the radio, making contact his first priority.
"Dirty Falcon, Dirty Falcon, do you read me? This is Devil Dog, over." Jake pressed into the radio before letting go of the button, not as enthusiastic for a reply.
"What is happening?" Tonowari questioned.
"I've been trying to reach our human allies with the Omatikaya all afternoon, but so far no one's responding."
"And I take it that is not normal either?"
A shadow falls over Jake's eyes as he glares into the piece of technology in front of him, "No."
"J-- Jake! We have a situation."
A familiar voice suddenly buzzes through the device before being abruptly cut off. The whole room stills as if time had stopped. Jake hadn't noticed he was holding his breath as he stared down at the radio until his lungs burned and his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. With a start, Jake greedily sucks in air as he quickly moves to grab the radio,
"Norm, what's going on?" He harshly demands, "What happened?"
"Lab compromised-- can't--"
The connection cuts off again but Jake doesn't give up, desperate for an answer, "Norm! Come on... Norm, do you copy? Where's Kayla?"
"She... She's gone!"
The air completely sucks out of his lungs, his brain scrambling for a reasonable explanation. He didn't have to look around to know that everyone else would be panicked and concerned as well. Ronal had stood up straight once more, standing near Kayla's feet as her expression reared back with affliction, her eyes darting to Tonowari as they both shared a look of genuine fright. Spider noticed their exchange out of the corner of his eye before looking back down at the body in front of him, his chest feeling tight as the news sunk in, his small hand leaning near Kayla's as if afraid that touching her hand would somehow evaporate her avatar's form. The lightest brush of skin against his elbow let him know that Ao'nung was still right beside him.
Jake could feel the rushing of his heartbeat pulsing loudly in his ears as he absorbed the information. All other rational thoughts jump out the window as he suddenly snaps and growled into the communication device, "What do you mean 'gone?' Norm, what the fuck happened?"
Neytiri didn't even have the heart to chastise her husband for such language in front of the children, her own mind spiraling at all of the possibilities that might have befallen her people, let alone Kayla. Tuk's hand instinctively reaches up to grab her mother's when she feels the older woman's distress, the air stale with tension as all eyes are fixed on the radio.
"I had to force an emergency shutdown on Kayla's link in progress," Norm finally manages to explain without the connection cutting him off, "High Camp had to evacuate because we thought our location might've been compromised. We all scattered and ran to hide and avoid capture, but when we made it to the rendevous she didn't show up-- And... she's not here, Jake. We went back to camp when the coast was clear and Kayla is the only one not accounted for."
That could mean anything, but Jake wasn't ready to make any conclusions until he got the full story, "Who compromised High Camp?"
"Quaritch."
The room felt silent once more, dread swimming in Jake's gut as he closed his eyes and heaved a large, exhausted sigh. One of his ears flicked in the direction he knew Kiri was kneeling down to wrap her arms protectively around Spider without even having to look.
"He had been sighted scouting the Hallelujah Mountains for days prior to this. We thought he might've finally found us so we dispersed."
Jake's head spun with emotions, trying not to let anger get the better of him as he clutched the radio, "Why didn't you call in these sightings to me? I would've come back."
"Because we thought he was after YOU, Jake. If you had come running back, he would've been there, waiting for you."
He took a deep breath, "Do we know for sure Quaritch has Kayla?"
"We're still looking, but... look-- Kayla grabbed a radio before we split up and scattered. There was a tracker, and when we got back, Max tried to access it, but the signal was lost nearly halfway to our rendevous point. If Quaritch snatched her, he could be anywhere by now."
"... So why Kayla? Did he take her to get to me?"
"That's what I thought originally. But Jake-- we don't think he's reporting back to Ardmore anymore."
Norm's words clearly surprise Jake, eyes briefly widening before they return to their normal shape. Unaware of Jake's reaction, Norm's voice continues to come in through the radio, "We've been monitoring RDA radio chatter and there were never any indicators that he never called in a strike against the camp. Ardmore didn't send an army, it was just him. I think he acted alone on this, against Ardmore's orders. Or maybe she doesn't know about it. All I know is he's after something or someone, whether it's you or something else, he knows that Kayla has what he wants."
Jake feels a weight of revelation sink in his stomach, slowly peering over his shoulder, only to find that Spider was already looking back at him. As expected, Kiri was kneeling behind her best friend and her long blue arms encompassed the human teen's shoulders, tightening further when her father's gaze landed on them. Spider doesn't move or even breathe for that matter, the kid's eyes wide with what could only be described as fear.
"I think I know what he's after," Jake muttered back into the radio, his eyes never leaving Spider's, "Let me get back to you with a plan, Norm."
He cuts contact on the radio and rushes to stand up. Kiri, assuming the worst after seeing the look in his eye when he gazed at Spider, speaks up before her father can even say a word, "Dad, you can't leave her! Not like when you left Spider!"
Jake winced, an apologetic expression directed at the boy in question before he straightened his posture, looking around at the room of Na'vi all staring at him expectedly. The weight of Toruk Makto was heavy on his shoulders once more... only this time it felt worse. The fear of failure was worse.
Quaritch likely has Kayla, and the very thought of the Recom holding his sister hostage brought that same, deep-rooted fear he had festered when Quaritch had taken his daughters. The haunted image of Quaritch's knife against Kayla's throat when they were fighting on the ship didn't help that fear. Looking over and meeting Neytiri's eyes, Jake saw that same haunted expression on her face, the look of someone who had lost so many of her loved ones to the colonel. Quaritch was responsible for her father's death, and the lives that were lost when Hometree fell. Quaritch was responsible for Tsu'tey, for Grace, for Trudy... Neteyam... Hell, he might have been the one held responsible for the death of Neytiri's sister, Sylwanin.
Turning back and taking one look at Spider's pleading eyes, Jake was desperate to ensure that Kayla wouldn't be added to Quaritch's growing list.
Jake's expression hardened, hiding away his thoughts while addressing Kiri, "I won't, baby girl. Not this time."
~~~~~~~~~
A/n: In between chapters, I asked for a couple of commissions from the following:
I'd like to thank @sullyfortress for this beautiful masterpiece of Kayla!
And @rocklobster0 for making this cute chibi art of Kayla/Tonowari/Ronal! You guys are amazing individuals and are so gifted😍Thank you so much!
#tsamsiyu ta'em fic#ronal x tonowari x oc#ronal x oc x tonowari#ronal x oc#tonowari x oc x ronal#tonowari x ronal x oc#tonowari x oc#tonowari x ronal#ronal x tonowari#atwow fic#atwow fics#atwow fanfic#atwow fanfiction#ao3 fanfic#atwow#avatar the way of water#avatar 2#james cameron avatar
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please we need more Jim the delinquent season!!! please I beg idc if it's smut or fluff or both... Lol btw I am invested in your fics... Wait ngl smut sounds lovely...
perfect for you - jim (the delinquent season) x reader
masterlist
notes: hello lovely anon, i can definitely do that for you! fluffy and smutty jim content is a need. ugh, what i would do to call him mine.
summary: you've always found your best friends dad attractive. unbeknownst to you, the feeling was mutual on his end, especially after his divorce. one night, your best friend goes somewhere, leaving you and her dad alone together.
word count: 2.9k
warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, kissing, age gap (everyone is legal), reader is implied to be around 20 and jim is in his 40's, bestfriends dad! trope, p in v, aftercare <3
cassie had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. the two of you had met in elementary school, and your friendship lasted a lifetime. now, both you and her were attending college together; all grown up. purposefully, the two of you aimed to get into the same college as neither of you wanted to spend time apart from each other, even when it came to school.
you'd known her for ages, and you were super close with her family. likewise, she was close with yours, as you'd basically grown up together. however, cassie's parents divorced just over a year ago, so much to your dismay, you didn't get to see her mom as frequently anymore. she'd moved out even before her divorce was finalized, and you'd only see her occasionally now.
cassie decided to live her with her dad, jim, as he owned a lovely house quite close to campus, and you also lived just down the road. it was convenient for the both of you. jim was never very talkative, definitely more reserved than his ex-wife ever was, and you'd only really gotten to know him more after the divorce.
even though you'd known him for a majority of your life, you clicked with cassie's mom much more - isn't that how it always is, though? regardless, you would still come over frequently to cassie's place, as the two of you always worked on assignments together. even though she majored in something completely different than you, that didn't stop either of you from bonding over the college experience together.
for the first couple months after the divorce, jim was quiet. he would make small talk with the two of you, maybe ask how your lectures went but otherwise he would keep to himself.
during one particularly hot summer day, jim was having a few of his friends over to watch some sort of sports game, while you and cassie were upstairs working on homework. that same night, cassie got a text from a guy she was interested in from her class who'd asked her out, and you encouraged her to go out with him.
jim and you had talked a bit more frequently at this point in time, since he was finally coming out of his shell more. you didn't blame him after the whole thing with his marriage ending and all. that being said, you felt comfortable just chilling at her place as you'd most likely end up going home pretty soon after she'd left anyway.
plus, this wasn't out of the ordinary for you nor her. she'd often stay at your place for a few days at a time sometimes; the two of you were close like that. you'd do the same, staying over at hers for a few days as well, neither of your parents minded. it had always been this way, even when the two of you were growing up.
"are you sure? i can always tell him i'm busy." she asked you, touching up her makeup.
"oh my god, cass. just go, you've liked this guy for so long!" you insisted, giggling.
"yeah, i know," she laughed, "my dad has his buddies over to watch the stupid game, though. you can go home if you want, but if you get tired feel free to crash at mine tonight."
"i live down the road, but i will definitely keep that in mind." you say with a laugh, shaking your head.
"yeah but your basically my sister, so i don't care if you sleep here or whatever." she says, applying some lipgloss as she fixed her hair.
"go have fun tonight," you say to her, "and text me all the details."
"obviously," she says, turning to face you, "do i look good?"
"duh, like always." you say, glancing at her but returning to your notes as you scribble more stuff down from your textbook.
"if all goes well...i'll text you in the morning." she laughs, and you shake your head laughing along with your best friend.
that night, cassie did in fact have a great night - so great, in fact, that she ended up staying over at that guys house. however, she wasn't the only one who ended up sleeping in someone else's bed that night.
one thing led to another while cassie was gone for the night, and somehow you ended up in jims bed, tangled in the sheets and wrapped up in his arms. sleeping with your best friends dad was not something you planned on doing, but it sort of just...happened.
his buddies has gone home for the night, and you wandered downstairs so that you could quietly leave and return back to your house; but you noticed everyone had left already.
"you didn't go out with cassie?" jim's voice called out from behind you, and you turned around to see him leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen.
"no," you shake your head, "i have a final next week, i needed to study for it."
"ah, smart girl." he said softly in that accent that made your knees weak. for a moment, he was quiet. just staring at you while you stared back, unsure of what else to say.
"do you need help cleaning up?" you ask politely, since it wasn't too late. it was only quarter past eight, and he looked a little tired.
"don't worry about it." he smiled, and you shook your head.
"least i could do, i'm always over here anyways." you insisted, making your way to the kitchen.
there were only a few dishes scattered around, along with some empty beer cans and a few cups. you helped him put the food on the counter away and cleaned some of the dishes. after the two of you were done, he looked at you with a soft smile.
"you've always been so helpful," he smiled, "i appreciate it."
"it's no problem." you say back, watching him lean against the counter.
he doesn't respond, but instead just looks at you under the dim kitchen lighting, and his baby blue eyes pierce right through you.
"do you have a boyfriend? remind me, i forgot." he asked suddenly, and you felt your cheeks heating up at his rather...innocent question.
"n-no, i don't." you say with a nervous laugh.
"c'mere." he said and for a second, you thought you'd misheard him.
"what?" you asked quietly.
"come here." he repeated.
hesitantly, you make your way closer to him and look up at his blue eyes. he glances down at you, still leaning against the counter with his hands gripping the edge.
okay - if you were being totally honest right now, you had always found your best friends dad to be really attractive. but he was married for the longest time and he was also the father of your lifelong best friend! it was wrong on so many levels, but it appeared that neither of you seemed to cared.
suddenly, his hand was making it's way onto your waist, and you almost felt the need to pinch yourself in case this was all just a very vivid dream you were having.
"the walls are thin, you know," he said softly, rubbing circles into your waist with his thumb, "i heard you last week, on the phone to your friend or whoever while cassie was picking milo up from the vet."
your heart dropped. last week, cassie had to pick her dog up from the vet, and you were home alone with jim for around half an hour. within that half hour, another friend of yours called and somehow, the topic landed on jim. well, more like you'd told your friend you were staying at cassie's for the evening, which led to the friend asking about her parents divorce, which then led you to say some interesting things about jim.
"if he wasn't cassie's dad, i'd be all over that." you said to your friend as the both of you giggled over the phone.
"yeah, i've seen him. like, damn." your friend said, making you laugh once more.
"you have no idea what it's like when i come over, i literally have to force myself to focus on something - anything else." you tell her, but then you heard the front door open. "mhm, yeah. okay, i gotta go. bye."
with that, you ended your phone call - not realizing jim had been grabbing the laundry from the washer out in the hall. he heard everything, and he couldn't lie; it really turned him on. he always knew it was wrong, but he was definitely attracted to you. it started out innocent, like for example, it started when you had turned nineteen. he would think you looked really pretty when you wore a certain outfit, or when you did your hair a certain way.
then, as the next year or two went by, he found himself noticing other things about you. like how perky your tits looked in a certain shirt, or how badly he wanted to see you bend over when you wore a specific skirt. he tried to shake the thoughts of out his head - but it was no use.
"i-i didn't-" you stammered.
"shh," he assured you, "it's nothing to be embarrassed about. honestly, i wish you'd said something sooner."
"...you do?" you asked, a little taken aback by his words.
"i do," he said softly, "so why don't we both stop pretending like this isn't bound to happen."
his hands trailed along your waist and your hips, before his grip on them became tighter. pulling you close, he brushed a strand of your hair out of your face. the both of you leaned in - but you placed your hands on his chest, stopping him.
"jim, wait," you say, looking up at the older man in front of you, "i-i can't- i don't do casual hookups. their just not-"
"your thing, i know. i wasn't trying to imply that this was just going to be that," he assures you once more, "i want you in more than just that way."
"o-okay," you almost whisper, "me too."
he doesn't offer a verbal response, but rather gives your ass a tight squeeze whilst his lips came crashing down on yours. instinctively, you wrap your arms around his neck as he backs you up into the kitchen counter. recklessly, his lips still locked with yours, he hoisted you up onto the kitchen island. for a moment, both of you break away from the kiss with pink-tinted cheeks.
the thrill of kissing a man so much older than you (who also happened to be your best friends dad) was getting you worked up, and judging by the tent in his pants; it was getting him worked up, too. gently, he helped you out of your hoodie and sweats. you felt a shiver go up your spine as your ass rested on the cold granite of the counter, and he bit down on his lip at sight. with all your clothes discarded, you sat pretty for his taking on the counter with your pink, lacy bra and matching pink thong.
"look at you," he groaned, "so pretty, princess."
clearly, neither of you could even wait to take it to the bedroom. so, with adrenaline running through your veins, you help him out of his sweater and he reaches for his belt buckle. he pulls you into another heated kiss, this time one of his hands coming up to your throat to give it a soft squeeze. as he choked you gently, you moaned into his mouth, the action driving him insane.
he pulled away from the kiss and you felt his tip poke at your folds. you look down for a moment, and you could see him stroking himself with one hand as he lined his cock up with your entrance while the other hand rested gently around your throat.
before he put it in, he looked at you to make sure that this was okay, though he didn't say a word. you gave him a small, affirming nod and he rubbed the head of his cock against your wetness before plunging his cock in, taking you on the kitchen counter.
you let out a gasp as his veiny cock filled you, and he groaned at the feeling of your warm walls sucking him in. his hand quickly came off of your neck and down to your waist, his other hand doing the same. as his hands found purchase on your waist, he started to move in and out slowly, letting you adjust.
"j-jim," you moaned, throwing your head back, "ugh, feels so good."
"yeah?" he groaned, thrusting in and out much faster now, "d'you hear how wet you are, princess?"
when he mentioned it, your cheeks burned as your eyes rolled to the back of your head from his cock pounding your cunt. you could hear it - your pussy was dripping, and it was evident by the squelching sounds in the quiet kitchen.
"s-so wet, just for you- fuuuuck-" you whimper as his cock hit all the right spots inside of you.
one of jim's hands snaked up to your breasts, roughly kneading it and making you moan. you drooling hole started to squeeze down onto his fat cock, making him lose his breath. the both of you were chasing your highs and getting closer by the second.
"f-fuck, you're so tight, m'gonna fill this tight little pussy up." he decided, fucking into you deeply as he took you on his kitchen countertop.
"so close, jim, s-so mmph, close!" you cry out, squeezing your eyes shut as the pleasure consumed you and the coil inside of your stomach snapped.
"thaaaats it," he praised, "keep squeezing me like that, princess."
you bit your lip and moaned at the way he was talking, and he felt himself tip over the edge as he spilled into you with a groan. his hips continued to buck into you for a few more moments, fucking his cum deeper and deeper into your aching cunt.
after you both came down from your highs, he pulled his softening cock out of you. he watched with a sigh at the sight your pretty pussy which was now dripping with his cum. swiftly, he got a towel and started to wipe it up for you. he was taking his time and making sure you were taken care of afterwards, of course.
"how are you feeling?" he asked softly, wiping his seed that was dripping out from your cunt.
"a little sleepy," you admitted with a half-lidded smile, "and a little hungry."
"how about i run you a bath?" he suggested, laughing softly, "and then i'll order us some takeout from that italian place you like down on 47th and main."
"you know my favourite takeout place?" you giggle.
"obviously i do," he admits with a chuckle, "you told me a few months ago, remember?"
"well, yeah. i just didn't expect you to actually remember." you say with a sigh, and he pulls you into a chaste kiss.
"of course i remember, how could i forget?" he smiles after giving you a small peck, "so, does that sound good? a bath and your favourite takeout? then you can sleep in my bed tonight with me."
"first of all, that sounds wonderful, baby," you say, casually throwing the pet name in, "and secondly, can you join me in the bath, pretty please?"
he smiled as you called him baby, "i can't say no to that, princess."
"good." you say, beaming up at him.
true to his word, he did run you two a hot bath which you both enjoyed. after your steamy bath, he ordered your favourite food and the two of you laughed and cuddled on the couch whilst sharing a bottle of your favourite wine. after the two of you finished, you were both sleepy. as you and jim slipped into bed, he wrapped his arms tightly around you, giving you a kiss on the head before you both fell asleep.
the next morning, the two of you were still tangled in the sheets together, cuddled up in the blankets all cozy. cassie had returned sometime in the early hours just before sunrise, and as she made her way up the stairs, she noticed her dads bedroom door was cracked open slightly. she paid no mind to it - until she caught a glimpse of you in his bed with him.
doing a double take, she poked her head into his bedroom to find the both of you peacefully asleep. your head was resting on his chest as his arms were draped over you, the both of you looking so content.
cassie smiled and shook her head, laughing quietly to herself as she made her way back to her own room. contrary to what most peoples reactions would be; she wasn't mad. in fact, she kind of saw it coming in hindsight and hey, if you made him happy and he was good to you, then so be it.
though the both of you seemed oblivious to it, everyone else could see that you were perfect for him, and he was perfect for you.
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#cillian fic#cillian murphy fanfic#cillian murphy imagine#cillian murphy#cillian x reader#cillian murphy x reader#cillian x fem!reader#cillian fanfic#cillian murphy fic#cillian x y/n#cillian murphy fanfiction#cillian murphy smut#cillian murphy fluff#jim the delinquent season#jim x reader#the delinquent season
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Pedri via Residency - May 28, 2024
What is something you still want to accomplish in life? - " A lot of things. I am still very young or do you already want to kill me?"
Favourite teammate at Barça? - "I am close with the group in general but Ferran"
Do you play any instruments? or would you like to learn how to play one? - "Better not for the sake of the rest of the people. I like to listen to music but not much else"
Favourite series or movie? - "Mi reno de peluche and the one about chapo guzman; favourite favourite is Prison Break and La que se avecina"
Do you know anything about Armenia? - "not too much, to be honest… but recently a very nice driver took me to a shooting was from there. His name was Ara"
Favourite moment of the season? - "It wasn't the best season. On a personal level, I would say the brace."
How do you deal with criticism? - "I try to stay out of it, although it's not always possible, of course... you have to try and keep going and keep believing in yourself"
How do you feel about being able to play for Spain after such a long time? - "Very happy. I haven't been able to play for Spain for a long time. Hopefully we will have great EUROs and also a great 24/25 season with Barça"
How did you feel after the brace? - "crazyyyyy"
"I always try to stop and sign, because I remember when I asked for signatures as a kid"
Plans for the summer? - "I hope to go on vacation, but in a month and a half… that will mean that we go far in the euro with the national team"
Have you eaten German food before? - "Yesss... a member of my marketing team is German and he made us German food a long time ago, with sausages and so on"
How is your English? - "I still have to improve a lot. Give me a few months and I will answer in English"
Do you miss doing anything in your daily life? - "I can't complain. I like to live in peace"
Would you like to go to China? - "Of course, yes. Althpugh in the season there is not really time for anything and during holidays I prefer to stay close and rest. Let's see if we ever have a tour in China"
How many trophies have you won? - "With Barça, La Liga, Copa and Supercopa"
Do you feel ready for the EUROs? - "Siiii"
5 UCL Trophies or a World Cup? - "I don't want to choose. I would like to win it all"
Would you like to play against Portugal in the EUROs final? - "Sure. As long as we play in the final, I don't care against who it is"
Pele or Maradona? - "Maradona... Because he played for Barça and my father told me about him when I was younger. I remember the day he died very well because it was my 18th birthday"
Have you been to New York? - "Yes"
Favourite team to play against? - "Obviously Barça" (he did NOT understand that question lmaooo back to duolingo it is)
Visit Uruguay? You have a lot of fans here - "Ronald also told me once... We'll have to listen to him, because otherwise he gets angry"
How was it going to the Spanish GP in 2022? Are you going this year? - "It was a crazy experience. I don't think I can go this year because it clashes with the EUROs"
Do you like going to concerts? - "I haven't been to many, honestly... I have yet to go to one of Quevedo's. And last year they invited me from Spotify to see Coldplay in Barcelona but in the end I didn't go and I regretted it a little. Teammates went and they love it" (who tf turns down coldplay tickets??? 😭)
Your dad is a great person. - "The best"
How do you feel about receiving so much love? - "Very proud and privileged"
Do you want to score for Spain during the EUROs? - "Clarooo. Let's see if I can make it happen, because I haven't scored for Spain yet"
Red or blue? - "Azulgrana"
Do you like to cook? - "I'm not very good at cooking... My brother and mother are much better"
Pedri or Pedro? - "Pedri... Pedro sounds strange to me. From a young age they already called me Pedri, because there was another boy in the team whose name was Pedro and it was to differentiate us... and everyone calls me Pedri"
What do you think of Alexia, Aitana and Marta? - "They are top footballers!"
Is it difficult to have a 'normal' life? - "It's not easy, but mine doesn't change that much because I really like to be quiet and at home"
Only fish or only meat? - "I prefer meat... but for nutrition, fish"
When you were a kid did you make trouble in class? - "I was more of a quite kid"
Who do you think will win the Golden Boy award? - "Well, I hope a Barça teammate. Lamine, and if not Cubarsi"
What inspires you to perform at such a high level on the field? - "I do what I like the most"
What do you think of your season at Barça this year? - "I was saying this the other day. It hasn't been an easy season and I hope the next one will be much better in every single way and we will win titles"
Have you ever wished to have a sister? - "My mother always wanted to have a daughter, but in the end she had to settle for Fer and me hahaha"
How do you feel for the EUROs? - "Very good. Better and better"
Blue or Black? - "Blue"
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our epic love!
౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆
your epic love story with the infamous jake sim, your academic rival turned luv of ur life <3
jake sim x fem reader
warnings | kissing, angst (barely, like not even.)
2.2k
my second post!! I love this trope and I love jake :( pls cut me some slack btw I got lazy near the end 😭😭
The first time you met the infamous Jake, it was your first day at the prestigious Seoul Academy. Your parents had moved back to South Korea for work, and you found yourself thrown into a world of intense academic pressure and relentless competition. From the moment you stepped into the classroom, it was clear that Jake Sim was the golden boy.
He was sitting at the front of the room, surrounded by a group of friends, laughing at something you couldn't hear. He had an easy charm, a confident aura that made you feel small and insignificant. As you introduced yourself to the class, you could feel his eyes on you, assessing, judging.
"Another transfer student," he murmured to the boy next to him, loud enough for you to hear. "We'll see how long this one lasts." As his best friend Sunghoon chuckled,
The comment stung, but you refused to let it show. You had something to prove, not just to Jake, but to yourself. You had always been a top student back home, and you weren't about to let some arrogant dickhead boy in need of some ass-kicking get in your way.
From that day on, you and Jake were locked in a fierce competition. Every test, every assignment, every debate became a battleground. Jake was brilliant, there was no denying that, but so were you. Your grades were always neck and neck, the top spot constantly shifting between the two of you.
The tension between you was thick. You would exchange sharp words in the hallways, challenge each other in class, and glare at each other during school events. It was exhausting, but it also pushed you to be better, to work harder, and that’s all you needed.
One afternoon, you found yourself in the library, buried under a mountain of books. Finals were approaching, and you were determined to outscore Jake, even at the cost of your well being. You were so focused that you didn't notice him sitting a few tables away, watching you with an unreadable expression biting his lip.
"You're going to burn out if you keep this up," he said suddenly, breaking the silence.
You looked up, startled. "I don't need your advice, Sim."
He shrugged, leaning back in his chair. "Suit yourself. Just don't come crying to me when you crash and burn, while I get 100%."
You glared at him, anger bubbling up inside you. "I won't. And for your information, I don't plan on crashing and burning. I'm going to beat you Sim." Slightly pouting.
Jake's eyes flashed with something that looked almost like admiration. "We'll see about that." He says softly.
The competition continued, but something was changing. You started to notice things about Jake that you hadn't before. The way his brow furrowed in concentration when he was working on a difficult problem, the way he bit his lip when he was nervous, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something he was passionate about.
You told yourself it didn't matter. Jake was still your rival, and you couldn't afford to be distracted. But it was getting harder to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat when he was around, the way you found yourself thinking about him when you were supposed to be studying.
One evening, you stayed late at school to finish a project. The building was quiet, almost eerie, and you were starting to feel a little uneasy. Just as you were about to pack up and leave, the door opened, and Jake walked in.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.
"I could ask you the same thing," he said, raising an eyebrow. "I forgot some notes."
You nodded, turning back to your work. You could feel his eyes on you, and it was making it hard to concentrate.
"Do you ever take a break?" he asked after a moment.
"Do you?" you shot back, not looking up.
Jake sighed, walking over to your table. "Look, Y/N, I know we don't get along, but this is getting ridiculous. We're going to make ourselves sick if we keep this up."
You finally looked at him, surprised by the concern in his voice. "Why do you care?"
He hesitated, his eyes searching yours. "Because... I don't know. Maybe I don't want to see you hurt yourself."
The sincerity in his voice caught you off guard. For the first time, you saw a glimpse of vulnerability in Jake, and it made your heart ache. But it also made you scared.
“Don’t act like you care, Sim.” You say with a shaken voice before tearing your gaze away from him.
Despite your resolve to keep your distance, you found yourself working with Jake more often against your will even after that vulnerable moment. It started with a group project that neither of you could avoid, but it quickly became something more. You began to see that Jake wasn't just a rival, he was a person with his own struggles, fears, and dreams.
One evening, as you were working on your project in the library, you found yourself opening up to him about your fears and insecurities. Jake listened, his usual cocky attitude gone, replaced by a quiet understanding.
"I know what it's like to feel like you have to be perfect all the time," he said softly. "My parents expect nothing less from me. It's exhausting."
You looked at him, surprised by his honesty. "I didn't know. You always seem so... confident."
Jake laughed, but it was a bitter sound. "It's all an act. I'm just as scared as you are."
In that moment, something shifted between you. The rivalry was still there, but it was tempered by a newfound understanding and respect. You began to see Jake not as an enemy, but as someone who was just as driven and passionate as you were.
As the weeks passed, you and Jake grew closer. The late-night study sessions became a regular occurrence, and you found yourself looking forward to them. You would talk about everything and nothing, your conversations flowing easily.
But beneath the surface, there were feelings that neither of you were ready to acknowledge. You would catch Jake looking at you with a softness in his eyes that made your heart race, and you knew that your own feelings were growing stronger.
One evening, as you were walking home together after another late-night study session, Jake stopped suddenly, turning to face you.
"Y/N, there's something I need to tell you," he said, his voice tense with emotion.
Your heart pounded in your chest. "What is it, Sim?"
He hesitated, his eyes searching yours. "I... I think I'm falling for you."
The words hung in the air between you, charged with emotion. You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could, Jake leaned in, capturing your lips in a soft, tentative kiss.
Your hands lingered onto his soft hair, slightly deepening the kiss before he groaned in your mouth pulling you closer by your neck.
For a moment, the world seemed to stop. All the anger, the rivalry, the tension melted away, leaving only the two of you and the undeniable connection you shared.
When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, your hearts racing.
"I've been wanting to do that for a long time," Jake admitted, his eyes filled with vulnerability.
You smiled with a gentle look in your eyes, your own feelings finally breaking free. "Me too, Jake. Me too.”
After that night, things between you and Jake changed. The rivalry was still there, but it was tempered by the growing affection you felt for each other. You found yourselves stealing moments between classes, sharing secret smiles and whispered conversations, and definitely not heated make out sessions in the corner of the library.
But as much as you wanted to shout your feelings from the rooftops, there was a part of you that was still scared. You had built your identity around being the best, and you didn't know how to let go of that.
One afternoon, as you were walking to class, you saw Jake talking to a girl from his study group. She was laughing at something he said, her hand resting on his arm. Jealousy surged through you, and you turned away, your heart aching.
You guys kiss and the next second he’s flirting with some random girl in your year?
Later that evening, as you were working in the library, Jake found you, his expression concerned.
"Y/N, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting down across from you.
You shook your head, trying to hide your emotions. "Nothing. I'm fine."
Jake reached out, taking your hand in his. "Please, talk to me. I can tell something's bothering you, plus you haven’t even spoken to me all day.. I miss you” he says with a pout.
You looked into his eyes, the words spilling out before you could stop them. "I saw you with that girl today. I know it's silly, but I couldn't help feeling jealous. And, I don’t know. I guess I feel a bit used…?”
Jake's eyes softened, and he squeezed your hand gently. "Y/N, you have nothing to worry about. She's just a friend. You're the one I care about. I’d never use you, don’t even think that baby.”
Tears welled up in your eyes, and you looked away, ashamed of your insecurities. "I just... I don't want to lose you."
Jake stood up, pulling you into his arms. "You're not going to lose me, Y/N. I promise." As you cry into his embrace.
As the final exams approached, the pressure became almost unbearable. You and Jake were both pushing yourselves to the limit, and the stress was taking its toll on your relationship, and it was definitely not for the best.
You found yourselves snapping at each other over little things, the tension building until it was almost too much to bear.
One evening, after a particularly heated argument, you found yourself alone in the library, tears streaming down your face. You felt like you were falling apart, and you didn't know how to fix it, like everything around you was drifting away.
Just as you were about to give up, Jake walked in, his expression filled with regret.
"Y/N, I'm sorry," he said, sitting down next to you. "I didn't mean what I said. I'm just so stressed, and I took it out on you.”
You looked at him, your heart aching. "I'm sorry too. I know you're under a lot of pressure, and I should have been more understanding." You say sniffling.
Jake reached out, taking your hand in his. "We both are. But we need to remember that we're in this together. We're stronger together, I love you remember?”
You nodded, wiping away your tears. "You're right. We can't let the pressure tear us apart, and you know I love you too..”
You say leaving a soft kiss on his lips, as he grins and kisses you gently again.
Jake pulled you into a hug, his arms tight around you. "We'll get through this, Y/N. Together."
The day of the final exams arrived, and the atmosphere at Seoul Academy was electric with tension. You and Jake walked into the exam hall together, your hands brushing lightly as you took your seats. You exchanged a look, a silent promise to give it your all, and no matter the outcome you would both be there for each other.
The exam was grueling, each question more challenging than the last. But you could feel Jake's presence beside you, a steadying force that gave you the strength to keep going. As you scribbled down your answers, you thought back to all the late-night study sessions, the whispered confessions, the stolen kisses. You knew that no matter what the outcome, you and Jake would face it together.
When the exam finally ended, the relief was overwhelming. You and Jake met outside the hall, the tension in the air dissolving as you fell into each other's arms.
"It's over," Jake said, his voice filled with disbelief.
You nodded, your heart pounding. "We did it."
Jake smiled, his eyes shining with pride. "No matter what happens, I'm proud of you, Y/N. We've come so far."
You leaned into his embrace, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. "I'm proud of us."
The day the results were posted, the school was buzzing with anticipation. You and Jake walked to the bulletin board together, your hands tightly clasped. As you approached, you could see a crowd of students gathered around, their expressions a mix of excitement and anxiety.
Taking a deep breath, you pushed through the crowd, scanning the list for your names. When you found them, your heart skipped a beat.
"Y/N... we're tied," Jake said, his voice filled with awe.
You looked at him, a smile breaking across your face. "We're both at the top."
Jake laughed, pulling you into his comforting embrace. "We did it! We really did it!"
As the crowd cheered around you, you felt a sense of triumph and relief. All the hard work, the late nights, the moments of doubt and fear—it had all led to this moment. And you had done it together.
With the final exams behind you and the results in hand, you and Jake began to look toward the future. You both had your sights set on prestigious universities, your dreams finally within reach.
One evening, as you sat together in the school's garden, Jake turned to you, his expression serious. "Y/N, I've been thinking a lot about what comes next. I want us to stay together, no matter where we end up."
You smiled, your heart swelling with love for him. "Me too, Jake. We've come this far together, and I can't imagine my future without you."
Jake took your hand, his eyes filled with determination. "We'll make it work. We can apply to the same schools, support each other through whatever challenges come our way."
You nodded, feeling a sense of certainty and hope. "We've already proven that we can overcome anything, as long as we're together."
Jake leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. "I love you, Y/N. And I always will."
Tears filled your eyes as you kissed him back, your heart bursting with emotion. "I love you too, Jake. Forever."
As you held each other, the sun setting behind you, you knew that your journey was just beginning. There would be challenges ahead, but you had each other. And that was all you needed.
epilogue
Years later, as you stood on the stage of your graduation ceremony, you looked out into the crowd and found Jake's eyes. He was standing with his classmates, a proud smile on his face. You had both been accepted to the same university, and your bond had only grown stronger with each passing day over the years.
As you walked across the stage to receive your diploma, you felt a sense of accomplishment and gratitude. You had achieved so much, and you had done it with the person you loved by your side, Jake Sim, the love of your life.
After the ceremony, you and Jake found each other in the crowd, your arms wrapping around each other in a tight embrace.
"We did it," Jake said, his voice filled with emotion. "We made it."
You smiled, tears of joy streaming down your face. "I couldn't have done it without you."
Jake cupped your face in his hands, his eyes shining with love. "And I couldn't have done it without you. We're a team, Y/N. Always."
“Always” you whispered staring at your engagement ring before wrapping your arms around Jake’s neck kissing him, as he wrapped his comforting arms around your waist.
As you kissed, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you and the love you shared. You knew that no matter what the future held, you would face it together, hand in hand.
And that was all you needed.
@luv-sims
#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen imagines#enhypen#kpop fanfic#kpop imagines#jake imagines#jake fanfic#jake sim#enhypen x reader#enhypen fic#enhypen drabbles#enhypen smau#sim jaeyun#sunghoon imagines#enha imagines#enha x reader
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I'm not the only one - 7
Leto Atreides x reader
Word Count: 2,2K
Warning: angst, some fluff at the end, arranged marriage, age gap (reader is 20s, Leto is between 40-49), mention of mental discomfort, mention of pregnancy.
note: It's almost June!
series masterlist | next chapter
Jessica's belly seemed to bulge out more and more everyday. Despite all the differences, you were happy to notice that the child was growing healthy inside her. She looked more serene and stunning too, Leto was a more constant presence at Arrakeen Palace now. You couldn't help but feel an ugly, rotten feeling growing inside you every time you saw them talking quietly in some quiet corner.
The truth is that you didn't want a child, even though you were uncomfortable and pressured to have one. Imagining something alive inside you always made you shiver slightly. The idea of being responsible for another life scared you, you didn't want to have a child to just disappoint him or hand him over as a pawn in political games. You always ran into your husband in the hallways now that he was more present at the Palace due to Jessica's pregnancy.
You had dinner with Leto every night, it was a formality that as his wife you had to fulfill. Most dinners were silent and occupied only by the sounds of the cutlery hitting the china, your husband tried to fill the silence every now and then, but the conversation never progressed, it always stopped after one or two words from you.
It's not that you were bitter, no. You just didn't feel like doing anything, you really missed your mother and your planet, the time when things were simpler. When your father's ambition had not consumed him. Despite having your maids, Hawat and Paul, you still felt alone, often finding yourself awake even when the light began to brighten outside.
Your head squeaked with silence, a million black threads tangled inside your brain, chaotic and dark, not letting you think clearly. You stayed on the balcony of your room, hoping that the brightness and warmth of the sun would clear your mind. On those days you preferred to be alone, you weren't good company for anyone. You locked himself in your room and sometimes forgot to eat, spending hours telling the maids to leave.
Staying on the balcony was good to cover the squeaking in your head, the city below was noisy and chaotic. You sometimes read and tried to knit something, but you always ended up with dull eyes staring at some point somewhere far from what you were doing. It was tiring. You thought about talking to Hawat and telling him what you had, maybe he would have some answers.
"Stress or hearing loss, my lady." Hawat replied with a frown.
"Hearing loss? In the last physical evaluation Dr. Yueh told me that I am completely healthy." you replied, slightly tilting your head to the side.
You were sitting on the dark wooden and leather upholstered chair facing Hawat's desk in his office. The sun passed weakly through the closed blinds, Hawat sat facing you, arms crossed on the dark table top.
"Those were the possibilities I found following the symptoms my lady reported." he replied. "You also seem perfectly healthy to me, maybe it's stress, Duchess."
"Nonsense, I'm not stressed. I have no reason to be stressed." you stated, shrugging, but pressed your lips into a thin line and looked at him. "Do you think I have any reason to be stressed?"
Hawat looked at you in that tender way, as if he had known you his whole life, and extended his hand across the table. You lifted one of yours and held his chubby hand.
"Maybe you shouldn't spend time alone, martyring yourself, that's not good, my lady." he said this with pity.
"I like being alone, it's good so they don't see me the way I am."
"This is your home, you have to treat it as such, talk more to the servants, see how things are going." he replied.
"This is not my home. It isn't and it never will be." your voice sounded much colder than you expected and you sighed.
Hawat sighed and used his free hand to pat yours.
"You know where to find me if you need any help, my lady.”
You found yourself thinking about what Hawat said as you left his office and walked down the beige colored hallways to your room. He was right, maybe you shouldn't isolate yourself so much, what you were feeling could consume you from the inside out and only the Creator knows what would happen next.
You turned into another hallway and raised your eyebrows in surprise to see Lady Jessica in it, talking to one of her maids. You approached timidly and they almost didn't notice your presence.
"Hello." you greeted them and saw their heads quickly turn towards you.
"Duchess." Jessica lowered her head in a respectful greeting. "Leave us, please." she turned to speak to the maid, who nodded and left.
When she turned her body completely around, you noticed that she was holding a metallic message tube in her slender fingers.
"It's very good to see you, you were locked up in your quarters for the last few days." she said softly. "Raja was going to hand over the message tube but I asked her to let me deliver it, I wanted to see you."
She holds out the tube and you take it, seeing the coat of arms of your birthplace stamped on the metal. You look for a few more seconds and look up, meeting hers, who was staring at you in silence.
"I'll open it later, thank you." you hold the tube tightly in your hands, trying to hide your frustration.
"Do you want to walk a little? It'll do us both good to get some air." she asked softly, running a hand over her stomach. "Well, the three of us."
"I have some things to do–"
"It won't take all day, I don't want to walk alone, please." she insisted and you sighed, nodding your head in agreement.
The two of you turned and started walking side by side, nodding your head at the servants that passed by. Jessica turned into a hallway that was close to the bedroom that Paul liked, at the end of the hallway there was a staircase that led to the oval door, the Arrakeen Palace greenhouse was behind the funny-shaped door. Jessica used her palm to open the lock and made room for you to enter.
The two of you started looking at the plants and flowers carefully, pointing and commenting on each one of them. Jessica sometimes ran her hands over her protruding belly. At one point you caught yourself staring at her belly out of the corner of your eye, your brow furrowed in concentration and your lips tightly closed. She followed your gaze and stopped talking about one of the yellow flowers near the ground, turning fully towards you.
"It's growing fast, isn't it?" she comments, running both hands over her belly.
"I think so. Is it a boy or a girl?" you asked absently, rolling the metal tube in your hands.
"Paul calls it 'she', he talks to her every now and then." she sighed.
"Have you already chosen a name?"
"If Paul is really right, it will be Alia." she reached up with one hand and brushed one of the strands of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. "Do you want to have kids?"
"I don't know if I have much of a choice about having kids."
"Don't you think you'd be a good mother?" she asks.
"People have children to satisfy the desire to have something to care for and guide, I don't know if I have that desire." you respond, looking back at the yellow flower. "It terrifies me, actually."
You sighed for the thousandth time that day as you sat down on the upholstered chair in your room to read the metallic tube. Taking him out of the capsule, your brow furrowed and you shook your head in irritation with each sentence read. Your father. You didn't know how, but he already knew about Jessica's pregnancy and used that to take out his frustrations on you. How could he do this so well from a distance?
You didn't know why he wanted you to get pregnant so much, your child wouldn't inherit anything anyway, the duchy was already Paul's. Maybe he treated it like winning a prize, wanted some assurance that your sacrifice had worked. Even though you were angry with your father and disapproved of his actions, his words bothered you a lot, making you play them in your head.
When the time arrived, you got ready and walked to the dining room. What dejavu, you had done this so many times since arriving on Arrakis, but this time things seemed to be okay. You saw that the place arranged for you to have dinner was next to where the Duke was sitting.
"My lord duke." you greeted respectfully, seeing him get up to pull out the chair for you to sit on.
"My lady Duchess." he carefully pushed the chair closer to the table as you sat down. "I took the liberty of placing your seat next to mine."
"It looks perfect, thank you." You smiled softly and waited for him to sit down to start eating, following his pace.
Chewing slowly, his mind kept returning to his father's message and the tangled strands of his brain. Without realizing it, you shivered slightly, shrugging your shoulders involuntarily. 'Do your duty to your husband.'
Leto's voice was present, muffled and far away. You shook your head to return to your seat, listening to his last words.
"...Dunes again?” he had his face turned towards you, a little smile in his lips.
"Sorry, what did you say?" you blinked and frowned.
"I asked when you're going to see the dunes again." he repeated.
"Oh, I-I don’t know, I don’t want to get in the way by using the ornithopters.”
"You won't get in the way, I assure you. Maybe we can go together tomorrow, what do you think?" he asked, bringing the fork to his lips then.
"Of course, that would be great." You gave a quick smile and hid your face, taking a long sip of wine.
Leto frowned at your actions, you weren't like that. She was shy in a way, yes, but not like that. He leaned over and placed one of his calloused hands on top of yours, watching you quickly turn your face to him.
"Is there any problem? Do you want to tell me something?" he asked softly and you could see genuine concern on his face.
"Ah, I'm fine, why?" you trailed off.
"You can talk to me, talk when I'm bothering you. I'm a husband, I'll try to help you."
"I'm fine, really." you tried to smile, but it came out more like an uncomfortable grimace.
"Are you sure? Does it have anything to do with the message that arrived on Arrakis from your father today?" he said and you couldn't help but widen your eyes slightly. "Did he say something unpleasant? Insulted you? You are my wife now, your father has no claim on you. Besides my wife, you have a place of honor in the empire as a Duchess, remind your father of his place. What did he say?"
He looked slightly irritated now, his expressions tightening with each sentence he said.Leto knew his father-in-law well, he had disliked the man since the day your hand was proposed to him. Your father was a rude man and your husband didn't like the way he talked about you like you were a bargaining chip. He remembered the time he threatened to make complaints about you to your father and he felt a bitter taste in his mouth. You swallowed hard and finally returned the caress he was giving your hand, absently running your thumb over his calloused hand.
"He was very cruel and reminded me again that it was my duty to get pregnant." you rested your chin on your free hand. "The news of Lady Jessica's pregnancy reached him, I don't know how."
"Thufir will take care of finding out who is sending information out, don't worry." he assured.
"Thank you." you said and turned your face to the varnished bull horns that were hanging near the dining table.
"Look at me." you heard your husband ask and turned your face, looking into his dark eyes. "Do you want a baby?"
"What?"
"If you really want a child, I will give you one." he said with conviction. "Do you want one?"
"Why are you asking that now, man?" you grimaced. “You said yourself you would never lay with me.”
"I don't want you to suffer attacks and demands from your father."
"If I had a child it would be out of duty." you replied. "I don't know if I could love the child."
This seemed to shrink Leto and he sat back in his chair.
"Sorry." you said embarrassedly.
"Don't apologize, I like your honesty." he said. "If you ever want to carry your baby, I'll be in my room."
You let out a loud laugh and covered your mouth with your hand, throwing your head back. This seemed to amuse Leto and you heard a short, deep laugh come out of him.
"I didn't know you were so promiscuous."
"Hey, I'm just trying to please my wife." he said playfully.
"Oh, if you say so." you raised your eyebrows in amusement.
Leto Atreides taglist: @gagaga167 @hargrovehoe @sleepyamaya @oceandolores @cleothegoldfish @aleemendoza2425-blog @oh-you-mean-me
#writers on tumblr#writing#dune fanfiction#fem reader#leto atreides x reader#duke leto x reader#leto atreides x you#leto atreides x reader angst#duke leto#leto atreides
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hi, you asked about the d20 finale drama. i have been following it- i have no idea how familiar you are with d20 as a whole, i know you said you werent keeping up with it so i'll try to explain as best i can!
the most recent season of d20 was fantasy high: junior year. fantasy high takes place in an 80s-inspired (but still has modern day tech- think movies like ferris bueller's day off or the breakfast club) dungeons and dragons setting (so like there are elves, halflings, etc). the main cast are high schoolers going to aguefort academy, where they are learning to be adventurers.
the season had a very disappointing ending for a lot of people. one of the main things that had been set up is that the PC party (the bad kids) had a group of foils, the rat grinders, who all were genderswapped and had the same classes and were generally approached as being foils. the leader of this group is 16 year old kipperlilly copperkettle, a halfling rogue with severe anger issues who, notably, was going to therapy for them but never seemed to improve. it's also later revealed that the rat grinders had been 'rage-starred'- implanted with crystals that make you incandescently angry. this was connected to their activities in sophomore year, where something happened and their cleric, lucy frostblade, died because she was unwilling to accept the rage star- she was later replaced by one of the PCs' younger brother.
it's also important to note that all of these foils had been groomed by their adult teacher, who wanted to bring back a goddess of rage and destroy all the other gods. so naturally a lot of people were like oh we're going to engage with themes of rage vs doubt and how mindless rage is a bad thing and rage vs justice.
um. that didn't happen. the penultimate & final episodes were a giant 'final battle' type of situation where instead of getting engagement with the themes of the story, we get all the characters angrily and brutally killing their foils (one character says they should cut off another (manipulated, mind controlled!) character's head off in order to make sure he can never be revivified; another character tells a 16 year old girl he's going to skin her, turn her into a rug, and have sex on top of her corpse). in the final episode, there is a for-real like half hour long segment where the PCs debate whether any of the 16 year olds 'deserve' to be brought back to life and eventually decide all of them can come back except for kipperlilly, because she willingly accepted the rage star. no acknowledgement that she was like still manipulated or that she was TRYING to get help, or her critiques of the bad kids or of the school or the system...). in the same episode, a PC says "it's also super black and white to think, like, this person was bad, or this person was good" and "they can be bad and still not deserve to be sliced in half" lol. like. okay but you just sliced like 6 teenagers in half?
it's not that i'm opposed to a dnd game where you slice teens in half, btw. it's just that it feels like you get these wildly opposing ideas of 'okay here are the themes that players & the dm are like Saying in roleplay and what they seem to want to believe, and here is what is actually happening in the story, and it's wildly dissonant and leaves a bad taste in my mouth'. (inb4 d20 stans come in and are like but its just an actual play you cant hold it to other artistic standards- Yes I Can lol).
so. yeah. i feel like it's a really good example of how dnd 5e just makes everyone push towards combat as the solution to stuff, and it's further worsened by the way d20 works where bc they make these huge set pieces, so many different campaigns end in like, a final battle on this (frankly gorgeous) miniature set up. which is lovely, but means that players and production and the DM are pushing toward combat as the resolution even when it doesn't necessarily fit, and makes them look towards combat as the only way out in a lot of situations. and it really makes roleplay suffer. i must also say that it's been widely acknowledged that this season of d20 suffered for like, a lot of shooting crammed into a short amount of time, so people really didnt have a lot of time to reflect on their decisions the way they did in sophomore year where they had like a week between sessions to think over the plot and what could happen and what's next.
Oh my god that is way fucking worse than I expected holy shit.
Anyway yeah i HAVE to think about how like.... the rules for combat in Thirsty Sword Lesbians by design use that combat as a way to create an emotional connection between combatants and set up roleplaying opportunities (instead of taking 1d8+4 damage, your opponent inflicts something like Angry or Insecure on you). One of the like dozen generic actions is to use Strings (emotional influence you can get from fighting someone) to like... influence people and change their perspective, often during a combat situation.
So like. Yeah. If THAT was what everyone's character sheet looked like I imagine they might have, yknow, tried to interact with NPC goals and personalities instead of interacting with their hit points
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Let's talk about Caelum.
I'm gonna preface this with saying that everyone is entitled to their opinions, and if once you're done reading this you decide you don't want to follow me or you want to block me, that's completely up to you. I'm not trying to change your opinion or attack anyone who has a different one than mine, I just wanted to put my two cents out there.
I also wanted to say that whatever your opinion on the matter is, it's yours and yours alone, and you should respect the opinions of other people even if they don't match up. I personally do not sexualize Caelum, but I do think he is an adult with childlike characteristics, and those two statements are not mutually exclusive. He can be an adult, but he also doesnt have to be put in adult situations.
It's okay to have strong feelings one way or the other about this topic, but it is not okay to harass people or go on a witch hunt for those with the opposite opinion to give them shit about what they think. If you disagree with someone and do not want to see their stuff on your timeline, just block them or scroll away. You alone are responsible for your own dash, you cannot make other people responsible for what you see on your timeline.
All that being said, I do not like how the fandom treats Caelum and Empathy Daemons in general.
My stance on the matter is that Empathy Daemons as a whole are adults, but because of how E'Laetum created them, they tend to have childlike characteristics. Those who say that Empathy Daemons are ALL children blatantly ignore the fact that Regulus is an Empathy Daemon as well, and that he has been shown to have adult tendancies (his BA, getting possessive over his charge, etc) while also maintaining his childlike characteristics (telling his charge a bedtime story to sleep, having a very one dimensional view of himself and his charge, etc). This is where I have a problem whenever I see people try to say that all Empathy Daemons are children. Regulus is clearly an adult. There is no "reading between the lines" about this.
Caelum is also an Empathy Daemon, but he is a very different character than Regulus. He is a lot more childlike compared to Regulus. He gets his words mixed up, he likes sweets, he likes hugs, etc. But in his most recent video (Your Bakadere Empathy Daemon Friend Visits You), even he says that he almost went down a path similar to Regulus' until Delphinus stepped in and assigned him to Freelancer, and that stopped him from falling (timestamps from 2:40 - 3:18, and 8:45 in that video). It may be uncomfortable for some people to think of Caelum as going down the same path that Regulus did, but this video clearly shows that he had the potential to. Caelum and Regulus are not as different as one may think.
Erik has also said himself that D(a)emons step out of the Elision Well as adults and they do not age. Of course they don't know everything so they still have to learn, but that's not the same as being a child. On top of the most recent Redacted 101 video, take this screenshot from Wonderworld (previously Redacted Records, when Erik was still in the server) from 2020, where Erik talks about how D(a)emons coalesce.
He even mentions how in earlier Caelum videos he didn't know what he wanted the d(a)emon life cycle to be yet, and that's why he had Caelum state that he was a "kid daemon" at one point.
Not to mention the fact that in the official timeline, it shows that Caelum coalesced in 1999, and is even older than Damien.
At the end of the day, Caelum is a fictional character. Whatever someone ends up deciding to make of him is their choice, this is a fandom after all. If it really bothers you to see what certain people make, block them and move on. DO NOT berate them for their headcanons or fanart or whatever else. People are allowed to have their own headcanons, make their own fics, and draw their own fanart. This is a fandom space, and people are allowed their creative liberties.
Anyways, that has been my two cents. Feel free to voice your opinions in the comments if u want to, but please please be respectful and don't attack anyone.
TLDR; I don't sexualize Caelum but I do think he and all Empathy Daemons are adults (ex: Regulus), everyone should respect everyone else's opinions and just block what they don't want to see on their timelines, and the fandom needs to chill out lol
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