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suffarustuffaru · 2 months

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I think I read a while ago on reddit that you had a madoka magica au for re zero, do you still think about it? I can Imagine Subaru taking the place of Homura but the rest of the cast is harder to place. It's a fun thought exercise though.

WAIT wow your ask sent me down memory lane wkdndn i forgot i even had a madoka magica au in the works for a while. i made it in like late 2020 and last worked on it in early-mid 2021 hah mostly bc my skill with writing and art didnt match with how big of an idea a multichap plotty crossover/fusion au was and i was still just dipping my toes into more ambitious ideas!! but id love to revisit it again now that i got more practice 👍

i like read your ask then went WAIT A MINUTE I DO HAVE A MADOKA MAGICA AU and then i skimmed through my old google doc plot outline for it in a frenzy. but also i used to write in yellow comic sans at the time so i wont subject you to my old terrible (affectionate) writing habits too much. but i think its funny how i had some notes on vague (and Dead Serious) ideas for witch form symbolism and i just found this yellow comic sans monstrosity:

2020/21 me was on some drugs probably LMAO 😭😭 but given madoka magica’s canon content that is probably a good thing if youre writing serious madoka magica fic.

also i did have a tiny bit of finished writing for it. here is the old synopsis past me came up with:

Stumbling across magic and witches, fourteen-year-old Natsuki Subaru follows his new friends and a mischievous cat spirit into a world where a single contract could grant you your greatest wish.

And at the end of it all, he really should’ve known this from the start: wishes always come with a cost.

i think that currently id probably change up this synopsis a bit if i worked on it again but it aint bad i think 👍 and yes youre right subaru would def be in homuras role for this fic… 😔 anyone whos seen both madoka magica and rezero would immediately make that connection i think hah they have. Similarities, as we know 😔

and i deaged some of the rezero cast as you can see hah. not sure if id keep that but i think an important aspect of madoka magica is that the main characters are that young. it helps add to some of their decisions and adds to the tragedy and whatnot. that and like. targeting vulnerable young girls, Literal Children, knowing that most would make a wish and sell their souls in a heartbeat and then easily be crushed by trauma without being able to fight back much, you know? :,) and then theyd make Lots and Lots of despair to harvest… and madoka was meant as a magical girl deconstruction and magical girls iirc tend to be arounddd early teens/preteens!! ill talk a bit more later on how id try to do this au with deaged rz cast hah.

also i did have a small drabble written for this au!!

The boy, no older than fourteen, stands there with an eerie sense of calm.

His frame is seemingly scrawny and lean, dawning dark clothing reminiscent of a mixture between a tracksuit and a school uniform - even if it’s adorned with golden ribbons and stripes - with a whip attached to the belt at his waist. Draped over that is a cloak, the hood of it casting a shadow over messy black hair and a cold expression. His keen eyes, emphasized by the deep bags underneath, narrow at the sight of Puck, mean and brimming with distaste.

With a steady hand, he raises a pistol to Puck’s head.

The moonlight shines dimly through the broken windows and onto the shards littered all over the floor. A beam illuminates a metal contraption, its appearance similar to a shield, strapped to the boy’s forearm.

“You know, I don’t quite recall making a contract with you,” Puck muses cheerily, though an undercurrent of a threat weaves itself into his tone. He stares down the barrel without fear, his sharp teeth revealed in his smile. “Who are you, really? And why are you so upset that I’ve been getting close with Lia? Jealous much?”

“Don’t you dare call her that,” the boy replies instead, bitterly spitting out each and every word. “Don’t you dare pretend that you only have her best interests at heart, or that you really care for her like a father figure would. It makes me sick.” He sneers as he digs the cool metal of the gun harder into Puck’s fur. “Because if you make even just one mention of creating a contract with her, or if you even come near her… I’ll definitely make sure that you regret it.”

yeah so. past me made puck kyubey apparently 😔👍 and if i revisited this au im not sure if i would keep subarus character development to be Exactly the same (ie it was very greedbaru/pridebaru/homura inspired) but this drabble was a fun exercise at the time!!

but anyway i will ramble about some more ideas i had for this au under the cut!! turned out past me had A Lot of ideas.

yes so this au was like. a fusion of sorts so yes i was assigning rz characters certain roles, blending worldbuilding together, etc etc but the general plot sort of followed the general story of the main madoka magica plot from the main show to rebellion!! it was like vaguely modernish too, but you know, madoka likes to be Creative with its backgrounds (see: the infinite amount of crazy chairs everywhere, which im still very fond of to this day) and also rz vainglory/school if has its fantasy world cast mixed in with subarus parents still being there iirc and a whole bunch of other details too (like beatrice being subarus adopted sister iirc?). so i was going the vainglory-ish route here in terms of “how modern is this world?” 👍

the main cast i was focusing on was gonna be subaru (homura), emilia (madoka), rem (sayaka), ram, beatrice, felt, and reinhard. also puck as kyubey haah and satella as walprugisnacht aka the giant witch at the end of the main show. i havent seen madoka in a bit wkdn i gotta rewatch. but anyway!! felt and reinhard got a mix of mami and kyokos roles narrative wise yeah.

quick rundown on their characters is that i wanted to stick to the rz cast’s canon characterization as much as possible while leaving room for fun experimentation!! and if theyre still younger than normal canon here—subarus still got his Big Ego/Im The Main Character mindset but in that way thats specific to his little kid self bc he hasnt gotten Completely Depressed yet (think like. arc 7-8 type stuff), reinhards still stuck in the middle of watching his dad gradually deteriorate, felts even Younger and still trying to find her footing a bit, rem is Guiltily and enviously trying to live up to ram’s Golden Childness (this is pre-Incident That Kills Their Whole Family). and emilia has lived a lonely life in the forest somewhere with no one for company :,) i cant remember if i had some Magic Mindfuckery ideas for her backstory here but ive definitely had ideas for modernizing her backstory for other aus like this!! but either way emilias family is still dead ;-; and i do consider like. the idea that modern emilia would have albinism, especially when there is discrimination in place against people with albinism that is a little similar to emilias canon struggle with her appearance so a modern take of emilia being that she is someone with albinism would be Very Relevant!! but!! not sure if id go all the way with that bc its a sensitive topic that needs to be treated with care and i dont personally have albinism 👍 or i could go the magic route and go “emilia looks like a previous magical girl thats become the most powerful witch yet….” ie satella ofc. so emilia would still be a bit of a “red flag” to other magical people.

but yes emilia wished for. im not sure but probably smth like “i wish not to be lonely anymore”…………. and then she got her wish granted via having magical girl/boy friends and puck!!!!! thisll totally end happily.

and quick note on reinhard is i didnt have much plot ideas for him yet but i considered different ideas for his backstory!! maybe theres some magic fuckery and theresia was a magical girl once? no clue how that works but it was an Idea i had for sure. also various ideas to modernize the Astrea Family Drama (dont worry the accidental indirectly/directly causing your family member’s death thing would still be there wkdndh this is an important detail to me.) but regardless of whats going on with reinhards backstory his wish was a naive little kid wish!! he wanted to be a hero who helps people ;-; good going reinhard ;-;

the entire plot of this au in general was divided in half, first half would be the first timeline where things go wrong. subarus gonna be the pov and hes the audience surrogate bc hes new to the world of magical girls/boys and no one in the group 100% knows the ugly truth yet!! and like in canon emilia/madoka has already become a magical girl here. emilia is also already close with puck—and emilia is the one person puck has genuine fondness for ;-; and i had a Lot of ideas for what exactly went wrong here—i had elsa and meili planned as witches? and i think i considered disemboweling felt :<<<< this is very sad bc her family gave her away to save her bc they were in danger (yes just like in canon rz) but then later felt had her life threatened or smth? and like mami, felt wished to keep living. but the wording felt used was wanting to “live strong”…………….. well she sure got it by fighting elsa valiantly but still losing 😔

also ok the first person to become a witch is beatrice. i had like wild ideas with beatrice—the possibility that echidna still made beatrice and puck and that beatrice couldve been a failed—whats the word for the creatures in madoka that collect/cause magical girls??? incubators i think?? yeah that. because whatre the two things a little kids gonna probably trust?? a cute cat creature and a tiny little girl offering free wishes, probably. and of course beatrice got assigned by her biomom echidna to look after echidnas library maybe. bc echidnas funny like that and beatrice didnt work out as an incubator so now shes gonna generate soooo much despair when she realizes that there is no That Person + the truth of magical girls/boys and what beatrice was meant to be used for….

yes more various shit hits the fan bc rem and rams canon witch cult backstory… i had plans to adjust it for this au and make it happen In Real Time. and also rem’s wish was probably something along the lines of wanted to be needed. and Better. so not just Like Ram. but rem wanted to be More than ram. which rem is guilty about but thats still what she wants so she wishes for it away from rams eyes. ofc rams feelings on this is that she just wants her sister to treasure herself and be safe and whatnot but rem is kinda in her pre-witch cult trauma mode and Oops now their town is destroyed in flames and their family is dead ;-;;; not sure how else id modernize rem and rams backstory but yes this is. this is how their plot went in that first timeline wkdnd. and ram is injured in some way ;-;;;

yes and then rem you know pulls a sayaka and goes a little crazy about everything bc beatrices whole ordeal already revealed how fucked they all are and then rem and rams Trauma just happened so rem feels like shit!! and then she becomes a witch too oops ;-; and then reinhard decides to be the hero and sacrifices himself so emisuba can escape ;-;; or at least that was my plan at the time. but yeah rem became better (a magical girl. bc ram didnt feel like making a wish bc her only wish would be wanting rems happiness but she didnt want to Cheat That. she wanted rem to find it on her terms. except rem became “better” and bigger than ram by being a witch also oops. also i think i still had vague plans to include rem being Obsessed with subaru to contrast what will later be subarus emilia obsession haha) and then reinhard. is the hero. </3

satella comes in somewhere at the end. she used to be a magical girl but she became a witch and shes Crazy Powerful for reasons i have forgotten now 👍 but i definitely wanted to have more shenanigans going on with her backstory to keep that sort of emilia-satella-subaru mystery connection. and theyre still connected anyway bc emisuba inevitably lose to satella bc shes too powerful ;-; emilia is gonna die and puck realizes OH SHIT I SHOULDNT BE FEELING LOVE BUT I DO GENUINELY LOVE EMILIA I CANT DEAL WITH THIS. WITH HER DYING. ID RATHER DESTROY EVERYTHING THAN LET THAT HAPPEN. and ofc subarus also in agreement bc oh god oh god—and yeah. subaru hasnt made a wish until this point but he makes a contract with puck to promise to save Everyone. like subarus promise in canon right before he dies for the first time you know? bc then he dies.

and wooooo the time loop officially begins!!! i had more ideas but i have typed lots on this post already akfnd maybe ill save it for another time if people are interested.

but yes thats all thats the au!!!! i am not familiar with stuff like magia record yet sadly ;-;; but if i ever wanted to expand the au thats def One option 👍 bc WOW the rz cast would be such a goddamn gold mine for those fucking incubators. little kid felix argyle would be a Top Tier candidate for them. like can you imagine???? thatd be the biggest disaster of all time ;-;;; and also theres Lots of possibilities for various witches the cast can fight!! very fun stuff its why i chose elsa and meili and satella :o !! but yes id consider exploring other candidates for magical girls and boys as well bc WOW felix would go insane here.

#rezero #re:zero #ask #ty for the ask yes this was fun to answer and i hope u liked reading all of this if u did!! :o #my writing #madoka magica au

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losergaymothman · 6 months

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ALL of my Criminal Minds Headcanons:

(I watched the entirety of criminals minds for the first time (except season 16 bc it’s ASS), starting in May and ending in September, and I wrote all of these during that period. enjoy!!) SEMI-UNEDITED U HAVE BEEN WARNED.

- I think that Reid would come out to the whole team around late season 4. He’d tell them that he’s trans first, since it’s the scarier one, and then hit them with the bisexual one a couple days later when he tells them about his boyfriend of the time. They’re all very supportive, of course, especially since half the team is queer themselves (Emily = lesbian, JJ = aroace spec/queer, Penelope = genderqueer/pan). It’s also around this time where he becomes more open with all of the team, so he often is able to talk about his depression, anxiety, ptsd and autism/adhd with them, especially since most of them struggle with the same things. He doesn’t like talking about his addiction issues, though, and usually leaves that for his therapist and Narcotics Anonymous group.

[i actually ended up writing a fic related to this, which you can find here:

- this is canon, but can we fucking talk about how Gideon’s son Stephen and Spencer know each other somehow?? like when Gideon dies, Stephen and Spencer HUG. Like they def connected with e/o at some point AND ITS NEVER EXPANDED ON.

Hotch: straight, cis

Morgan: straight, cis

Spencer: demi-romantic (maybe gray romantic), bisexual, trans ftm, autissy/adhd, OCS

Emily: lesbian, cis, bipolar

JJ: lesbian, I think

Penelope: pan, genderqueer (or trans fem. I like both headcanons). Auadhd.

Luke: bisexual, trans ftm (or cis, I don’t care), adhd, PTSD.

- Throughout season 1-2, Spencer had a few on and off relationships with guys and girls, but nothing really sticks until a guy he meets mid to late season 3. After dating for quite a while, this is the boyfriend that Reid shows everyone. Eventually they break up because the boyfriend has to move away because of a job, which then opens everything up for Maeve, and then later the boyfriend and Spencer reunite and become a thing again. Idk how it’d fully work out yet bc I’m only mid season six, so I’ll come back to this when I’ve watched more.

- ^^boyfriend could possibly be Ethan

- Spencer is sensitive to smells while Emily is sensitive to lights

- JJ + Hotch go to the park every week with Jack and Henry

- Penelope hangs up when Reid starts rambling and when he calls back he makes her apologize

- Emily tries to get Hotch get a cat but Hotch is terrified of Sergio

- Reid writes letters to Elle sometimes, but she never writes back :((

- Hotch and Rossi went to Bingo together

- Spencer writes letters to Alex everyday AND SHE ACTUALLY RESPONDS. they send each other obscure crosswords for the other to complete, and they keep in contact as much as possible.

- Hotch is very overprotective (this is fucking canon)

- Penelope got Derek into Taylor swift but he won’t admit it. JJ and Derek blast Taylor swift in the car together and Derek doesn’t let her tell ANYONE

- JJ is always cold and Emily gives her her sweater

- Reid babysits Henry all the time and Henry brags about him to his friends. Reid ended up meeting Henry’s friends when he attended one of Henry’s friend birthday parties to supervise and he was the main attraction.

- Reid lost Henry babysitting once. They were in a museum and Reid almost had a panic attack. Reid made Henry hold his hand whenever they were out in a big, public place after that.

- Elle was the first person Spencer ever came out to as trans (and then she left)

- Reid is a cuddly drunk (though after Tobias Hankel, his sobriety in all forms becomes very important to him, so it’s super super rare for him to drink at all. He usually only does it bc of peer pressure + to be seen as normal)

- Spencer gets overstimulated a lot and Morgan brings stim toys in his pocket to help him. Penelope’s cave is also like a sensory haven, and Spencer is welcome in there any time if things become too much.

- additionally, Spencer’s sensory issues become worse when he isn’t sleeping well (he’s so me core), and so if this becomes a problem, the couch in Hotch’s office is always up for grabs if Spencer needs it. Morgan’s office too, which he uses more often purely bc he doesn’t want to bug Hotch and Morgan is like a brother to him, so it’s fine annoying him all he wants.

- “I don’t have red flags. I have fun facts.”

- Reid turns into a fucking goofball when around Garcia and Morgan

- Garcia + Emily likes to buy Reid funky socks they find (he has two whole drawers dedicated to his socks)

- Spencer is the first to comment whenever one of the girls gets a new hair cut. They love it.

- Whenever Spencer wants to talk about nerdy things, he talks to Emily bc she’s usually genuinely interested in it

- Spencer has doctor who marathons with Penelope w cosplay and themed food! And when Luke joins the team, he joins them too.

- Spencer goes to JJ’s + Will whenever he feels lonely, and will often randomly call members of the team (usually JJ, Emily, or Penelope) if he feels like he needs to talk to someone.

- Spencer was scared of Hotch + Morgan when he first joined the BAU.

- [EARLY SEASONS] Derek is usually the one who seeks out Spencer—not bc Spencer doesn’t want to be around Derek, but bc Spencer doesn’t want to feel like a burden if he asks to hang out. In the later seasons, they do it mutually

- Spencer doesn’t mind the team calling him kid or treating him like a kid bc his parents never treated him as one as a child, so it’s nice.

- Spencer had to put medical grade insoles into his converse after he got shot in the knee bc wearing hard ass converse without them hurt like a bitch

- Season 15 Episode 4, the Mack Meet-Cute. Still happens in my silly Ralvez timeline, but they end up just being really good friends. When Mack asks him if this was some long set up, he’s like “uh, no um, you’re good there. I have a boyfriend actually.” and she’s like “oh, well, sorry. I didn’t know you were gay.” and he’s like “uh, I’m bi actually, but uh, wasn’t expecting you to know.” And then they start this robin + Steve thing.

- Spencer really likes Luke’s grey hairs. The first time he noticed them, he full stopped, staring and then kissed Luke senseless.

this is me promoting my fics again. I wrote a Ralvez fic and you should read it :))

- Spencer going on a rant about Galelio and the Church when a local police said that the church is on the side of the people or something. Does the same thing whenever someone brings up astrology: “did you know astrology isn’t based on any scientific facts? To be a scientific practice, it needs to go through rigorous testing and be able to adapt and change to new discoveries, but astrology hasn’t changed in 2000 years—“

- Spencer is amunocompromised after the anthrax incident, which he often forgets about. He will get a cold, and he’ll be like “meh it’s just a cold whateves”, go to work and then be like “this is absolutely the worst idea I’ve ever had wtf”

- Spencer often forgets he’s disabled. He’ll be doing smth, and then his disability will disable him and he’ll be like “oh yeah, forgot that was a thing”. Ie/ forgets he’s autistic until he has a shutdown in the middle of the workday, forgets he has knee problems until he has a flare up and can’t walk up stairs w/o his brace.

- In the first few years of his time at the BAU (age 22-25, two years before season 1-season 2), Derek always made fun of Spencer for not “getting some” or “going on any dates”, which annoyed Spencer to no end, and also hurt him a lot since Derek just assumed he was that unloveable/undesirable. In actuality, Spencer had gotten out of a really rough break up with Ethan right before he entered the BAU, and wasn’t looking for anything solid or long term, especially since he’s Demi-romantic, and then proceeded to get all messed up with Dilaudid. It wasn’t until years later when the two were talking about it, after Spencer had came out, that Spencer told Derek this and Derek felt awful.

- Spencer can’t eat fish anymore bc of Tobias Hankel burning it when he was kidnappped. The smell also makes him nauseous, doubled up with his sensitivity to smells, it’s awful for him. After some time, it’s a lot easier to bear when ppl around him are eating it, but it still takes him back there if he’s especially vulnerable. The team knows about this, whether it’s bc he told them or bc they picked up on it, so they avoid eating fish around him and they make sure to get him food that isn’t fish.

- Spencer can’t do INAPPROPRIATE THINGS on his knees bc it hurts too much, but still insists anyways and Luke has to be like “dude, there r other ways to do this” until Spencer concedes

- Garcia is usually the only privy to Spencer’s dating life. Well, he doesn’t have much of one, but when he dOES, she’s privy to it. It just happens when you’re one of the few queer and neurodivergent and some kind of aroace spec ppl on the team. Spencer doesn’t really share much about his dating life with the rest of the team, so Garcia is very proud of the fact that spencer chooses to confide in her and treasures it with the upmost honour. It’s one of the few things she can keep a secret about, mainly bc of how important it is to spencer. She is the first one to know when he starts seeing someone, and the person he texts to indulge in ice cream with when they break up (specifically with OC love interest). The only time this doesn’t happen is when Spencer starts seeing Luke, mainly bc Spencer is scared of how she’d react. When spencer does end up telling her, she’s deeply sorry and she cries and Spencer’s like it’s okay! It’s okay! It’s not that bad! And she’s like no it’s not okay! And they have a doctor who marathon the three of them to make up for it, where Penelope lightly shovel talks luke, but mostly apologises for how she treated him.

- Garcia listens to Electronic Music, Emily listens to Dubstep

- Garcia + Hotch have a Father/Daughter relationship

#criminal minds #Spencer Reid #autism #adhd #luke alvez #aaron hotchner #jason gideon #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #derek morgan #penelope garcia #gay #they’re gayyyh #headcanons #disability #found family #david rossi

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lunatic-pudge · 8 months

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Hello!! I'm new~ I can order 2d headcanons and noddles (noddles kid, but she sees o/s as her older sister) with her o/s comforting them by making them lay their head on her lap while o/s hugs, caresses, kisses and tells them everything will be okay

Here you go! I kinda died, but I'm back and ready to cause chaos! :D

Comforting Noodle

• It started off as a nightmare

• A weird blur of fuzzy memories that Noodle couldn't quite describe

• Scientist, weapons, other children, and the screams

• Oh how the screams echoed deep within her

• It was so hard to make out the full details of everything

• It was going by so quick

• But it also felt like it was going by so agonizingly slow

• It all just seemed so overwhelming

• But then something started changing

• A comforting shake, a gentle warmth was near

• Noodle woke in a cold sweat, tears welling in her eyes

• Looking up she saw them, eyes filled with concern and a frown adorning their face

• "Are you okay, Noodle?"

• Those words brought Noodle to tears, sobbing gentle as they pull her into a hug

• One hand on the back of her head and the other rubbed up and down on her back, they let Noodle get everything out

• Incoherent words that were interrupted by her sobs

• Noodle felt safe in their arms

• She always did when they held her

• Noodle had always looked up to them as an older sister

• They were the one who went above and beyond to understand and help Noodle when she came to Kong Studios

• They were the one who would protect Noodle from dealing with Murdoc's druken rage

• Or seeing the constant drug and alcohol abuse that was rampant between Murdoc and 2D

• They were the one who always made sure Noodle had clean clothes to wear, fresh food to eat, a room to feel safe in, and someone there to comfort her when things weren't great

• With a gentle kiss to the top of her head, Noodle looked up at them

• Tears now finished flowing

• "Thank you (y/n). I just don't understand why I keep having these nightmares. They won't go away"

• "Oh, Noodle, it's going to be okay. We'll work through this together."

• They hugged Noodle a little tighter, making sure she was okay

• Noodle smiled, no matter how bad the nightmares got, she knew they were there to keep her safe

• Her dear older sister

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(More) 2D Headcanons

• Man has the COOLEST horror movie-esque collection EVER

• We're talking about rare copies of movies, signatures, actual horror movie props, ect.

• He's always going to horror cons to meet his favorite actors

• Is always looking for horror recommendations

• I can also seeing him being an urbex (urban exploration) type of person

• He has albums from his explorations

• It probably gives him horror movie vibes

• If he has an S/O, he'd want them to go with him

• If they say no, he'd be sad but very accepting of their decisions

• I know that all virtual singers live in the same universe but HYPOTHETICALLY (plz hear me out) let's say that Vocaloid was also same for them as it is for us (the cds with the voicebanks instead of them being actual idols/people). I can see 2D having a copy of Vocaloid and Miku's voicebank. He wouldn't publish any songs with her but he def has fun using her to sing his favorite songs and Gorillaz songs

• BUT NOW IF WE MAKE THE VOCALOIDS ACTUAL PEOPLE, he's gone to a bunch of concerts, has met the Legend herself, got her autograph on his forehead, and def kept in contact with her. Murdoc aggressivley refuses to let Miku collab with them (he just doesn't wanna admit that he's a Miku fan)

• Don't know if I said it before, but he has def tried to play all sorts of instruments. Let's just say he's forbidden to be even in the same room with a violin

#gorillaz #gorillaz x reader #noodle gorillaz #noodle guitarist from gorillaz #noodle x reader #gorillaz 2d #2d gorillaz #2d x reader #stuart pot

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i-loves-2dguys · 11 months

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Obey Me OC Headcanons (Part 1)

Author’s Note: So to start my Obey Me fanfics, I’m gonna write out this headcanon in order to describe how well I would get along with each character. I’m not including Thirteen, Mephistopheles or Raphael cuz idk em that well-

But also the fanfics will be “x Reader” cuz I want y’all to feel included <3 (sorry if the personality doesn’t match tho)

Two parts cuz it’s so long-

Part 2

____________________________________

Lucifer

At first, it was hard to communicate with him due to his coldness

But after a bit, we start talking more by discussing about the brothers

We get along for the most part, except for when I get involved in pranks and mishaps with the brothers

As someone who tends to get good grades, I feel like I would avoid so many lectures from him 😎

Only lectures I would get is getting proper sleep and eating properly

Visits him from time to time while he works to make sure he’s taking care of himself too (no hypocrisy will be allowed)

Helps discipline the brothers in a more peaceful way

Will try to convince him to do the same

Oldest sibling 🤝

Gives him motivational messages so that he can have a nice day

Moon 🌙 x Moon 🌙

Mammon

Instantly connect due to his fun personality

Cuz he’s Mammon ofc

Actually lets him have Grimm but on the condition that he spends it properly and gives a lil kiss

We hang out a lot for studying, shopping, eating at a restaurant, etc

Flirts with him and compliments him just to see him blush 🤭

A little surprised that he has a crush on me, but it’s so obvious too

Defends him from his brothers and comforts him with affirmations afterwards 🙏

Loves to see his hands and feel them (I love his jewelry covered hands so much)

Collects every magazine with a photo of him

Simps as much as he simps (simp synchronization)

Goes to the casino with him just to make sure his debt doesn’t increase that much

I would let him be my first fr

Best friends to lovers 🫶

Levi

GAMER PALS

You’re weird? IM WEIRD TOO :D

He’s a lil emo at first but I just gotta act my weirdest and bam! Status is now fellow weirdo

Shares memes and references

Gaming nights are very often cuz yes 👍

Spends a lot of time with him cuz 1: I’m an introvert and 2: he’s so lonely 🥺

Cleans his room sometimes just to help his mental health

Helps him find any rare items

Cosplay together :D

Pays at least half of what Mammon owes him

Compliments him at least once a day to help heal his insecurities 🫶

Kisses his cheek often to show my love for him

Weirdo couple ✨ (but in a not cringe way)

Satan

YOUR BEAUTY NEVER EVER SCARED ME

I see his sin as a part of him and not ALL of him

He has much more to offer and I wanna remind him that 😔

Plus I have anger issues too-

Yk I always wanted to read books but I didn’t know which ones to read

I would probably ask Satan to recommend some as a way to get closer to him 🤭

Helps him find cats and gets them close enough to pet them

They might start a lil book club where they discuss the same book they’re reading or decide which one is better

Cleans his hoard of books from time to time and leaves a lil map to help him find em easily

Hopeless romantics 🤝

Cat cafe dates :)

We write each other poems >:)

Poetic rizz duo 😎

Asmo

Besties!

It was instant connection due to love for fashion and slaying 💅

I want some makeup advice cuz I’m still a noob at it

Would def also ask for a skin care routine

Paint my nails too? 🥺

Shopping :D (cuz why not? we’re rich)

I mostly see him platonically, but he can kiss me :)

We have fashion shows so we can see what outfits we would slay in ✨

Would go clubbing with him if I felt really sociable

Is involved in his fan club

Two pretty best friends 🫶

Beel

My himbo <3

I love to eat as much as he eats 🤝

And he wouldn’t make me feel bad about it :)

I think our constant running into the kitchen would make us pals

I can’t cook much but I definitely can bake a lot

A bunch of restaurant dates

We could make mukbang videos fr 🤭

Helps him work out

Works out with him too sometimes

Have snacks in my bag just for him 🙏

Gentle giant x their protector

Belphie

I trusted you smh 😒

I personally headcanon a fight with him after I come back to life

But then we’re good :)

He’s a demon so what can you do?

Also very adorable 😊

I would happily nap with him since I’m tired 24/7 😴

As a touch starved person, I would appreciate the cuddles

Enemies to friends to lovers? 🧐

—————————————————————————

Note: I ran out of ideas towards the end but yk this is an introduction after all! I don’t know how many people will read this but thank you if you <3 I’ll be back again when I finish making an official fanfic so until then cya!

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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rosemaryandarsenic · 2 years

Text

Some more Gareth HC’s

Tw/ mention of knives, paper cuts, blood, there’s spicy content in here (NSFW, minors DNI), car accident, stretch marks, bruising, broken bones, struggles with sexuality, AIDS, Catholicism.

- like can we discuss this man’s thighs. Because….yummy. I don’t know how I’d be able to concentrate if he was wearing shorts at any point in this show. I have this picture in my mind of Gareth being forced to wear those 70s/80s aggressively short shorts out once and like, it causing a car accident because all anyone can see is the hams on this man lmao. I just know his lap is so comfy and perfect.

- ALSO, the tummy. His little pudge drove me over the edge because it’s SO FREAKING CUTE. Like imagine how warm and comfortable this man is to cuddle with. Bonus points - he probably has stretch marks that are so pretty. He’s insecure about it but they’re just like the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, little opal lightning strikes up his torso <3 I know people tend to crap on stretch marks but I honestly think they’re so gorgeous - they’re so personal and they’re such a meaningful sign of growth and change and I just love ‘‘em so much.

- His hair. Just take a moment with me to picture in your mind how it would feel to run your hands through it. It probably smells like shampoo most days but after shows he smells like smoke and mint and sweat and his curls get all wet and cling to his face. Watching how it swings in rhythm when he’s playing the drums, waiting for him to flip it when he’s really feeling the music. Putting it into little pigtails and one of those fuzzy headbands so you can have a spa night with masks and all.

- Gareth strikes me as the kind of individual that’s always bruised or cut somewhere because he just attacks life at full speed. Screw knives, he rips open packages with his bare hands and suddenly has cardboard cuts. He falls while moving something and has a scraped knee. Gets bloody noses every summer and without fail gets a sinus cold every year on Jan 2nd. Once he broke his thumb and called you crying afterwards, he made you swear to never tell anyone.

- I need his ears to be pierced. I .NEED. HIS. EARS. TO. BE. PIERCED.

- Welcome to my Ted talk: Gareth’s necklace and Gwydions chains. Tell me what medieval sorcery is in that silver little chain just bouncing on his chest. I’m jealous of silver. I want that chain to smack me in the face while we’re in missionary. Anyways.

- HIS HANDS. Like you know when dudes have those slender but also muscular hands? Like the ones that have super nimble fingers and really good hand strength? Yeah. Also his nails look shockingly clean and I like to imagine him with one of those little nail scrubbers when he washes his hands. Adorable.

- DIMPLES.

- Films I think modern Gareth would love: treasure planet, coraline , the Batman movies (Christian bale and Robert Pattinson ones), the 1996 Romeo’ and Juliet, Paul blart: mall cop, goosebumps, American ultra, moonrise kingdom, the hunger games, what we do in the shadows, smallville, sharknado, big hero six, love Rosie, midnight in Paris, paddington, fleabag, marvel movies, into the spider verse, metal lords, peaky blinders lol.

- As much as I love sub Gareth, I feel like he’s a hardcore Dom or at the minimum a strong switch. Something about him radiates “I like telling people what to do” but in a soft way? Like irl he’s pretty chill, sets decent boundaries, likes to adventure and let loose. In bed though - 👀 he’s just a huge service top who loves putting you in your place. 99% of the time he’s just teasing you or pushing you till you can’t go anymore because it makes him feel so good to watch you melt.

- That being said he’s def a cuddles guy. Likes being babied when he’s sick, likes holding your hand all the time. Always has to be touching you somewhere or sneaking little kisses. It gets worse if you ever get pregnant because he’s a family guy so he won’t let you do anything alone “just in case”.

- I can see him being a teacher of some kind, maybe a music teacher? Like he’s gotta be excellent with kids, especially the stubborn ones. I can also see him being a History nut, so maybe a history teacher. Really smart he’s just not a huge school person and has some rough mental health days so he does okay but not top of the class.

- I just feel like he starts painting his nails in college sometimes just for the hell of it. Doesn’t stop, so he walks into work one day and his students are like, hey what’s on your nails? He’s just like, my wife is great at painting nails and she got new polish - and he just shows his hand and his nails are all glittery and green <3

- When he’s a dad he absolutely gets tattoos with the specific intent of letting his kids color them in. You’re just chilling and you see the two of them at the dining room table. Your little kiddo goes, “look! I fixed daddy’s tattoo!” And it’s just marker scribbles everywhere but Gareth shows everyone anyway.

- This is ridiculously specific but I think Gareths first kiss was actually with a boy. It was a dare in elementary school and he didn’t know how to process it. He started questioning real young and his family is a lot of things but not homophobic so he just tries to figure it out. As times change and people get more open, Gareth gets more comfortable with talking about it because he was bullied for so long. I’m general he seems like the kind of person who just doesn’t feel like labels are needed, he just likes who he likes and it happens to be everyone lol. Would absolutely go to pride with you if you asked, and constantly goes out of his way to make sure people know he’s a safe place if they ever need it.

- This is super depressing but I think about how with the time period, the gang probably will lose someone to AIDS. It’s super personal. I can see robin volunteering at the hospital to sit and talk with people, and Steve too. Will and Joyce donate quilts and Jonathan takes free portraits for couples so they have pictures together. Gareth volunteers no doubt, and will probably lose several close friends because the way the metal community and queer community are tied together. Freddie Mercury’s death def hits him really hard. I can’t emphasize enough that this is so serious, and as someone in the queer community I can only imagine how it would feel being queer in the 80s. Much love and peace to our fallen family, we remember you <3

- On a happier note, I feel like Gareth is someone who loves drag shows lmao. He would absolutely punch a Terf in the face and I stand by that.

- I think Gareth likes Nu Metal okay, I know that’s probably controversial but let me have it lmao

- He also loves thrash metal

- Modern Gareth is a parks and rec person over the office

- He loves those rainbow tootsie roll things

- Man’s fucking LOVES pirates. Like LOVES them.

- I’d bet so much money that his family is Irish catholic but he’s not practicing

- College Gareth owns a buttwiser shirt. I can picture it so clearly and I both hate it and love it.

#gareth emerson #gareth the great #stranger things #gwydion lashlee walton

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noses-in-winter · 1 year

Note

🌼🌻?

🌻taken by surprise

🌼hitching

Ty for the ask, sorry this took a little over a week to post! Here we have: Dr. Lawrence Sheldon having an emotional episode (actually, kind of a meltdown) in front of his new found family maternal figure Em, all while having a bad cold! She loves him so much and he as an individual feels unlovable :') This is set right after his first breakup and his heart is busted. Essentially, there's a lot of emotional whump in here and also loads of h/c, and crying <3 also sneeze shame because Lor feels a LOT of embarrassment and shame regarding his own nose and sneezing. He’ll feel differently down the line, but for now he’s a wreck over it. 😊

Idk if I’ve mentioned before but Lor is def a he/him nonbinary guy who doesn’t relate to masculinity and manhood, but hasn’t realized that about himself yet. There’s a lot of things he hasn’t realized about himself! 😊

Don't reblog to non-sneeze blogs, thaaaanks

This was weird. It wasn’t bad, but it was weird.

“Honey, how are you able to be feverish and so chilled at the same time…” Em tutted with a shake of her head, both hands cradling Lor’s cheeks as she spoke. She stood before him as he sat on the edge of the bed; This was probably the only time Lor would ever have to look up to the much shorter woman. He sniffled quietly and kept his gaze down, more than a little afraid of meeting the eyes of someone so very near him. It was ridiculous, but part of him felt like maybe nobody would be able to see how absolutely wrong he looked if they didn’t make eye contact.

Though, his entire life thus far could prove that nobody needed to look him in the eye to realize how completely homely he was.

“I-...I don’t know. Sorry,” Lor murmured as Em curled her hand to place the back of her fingers to his cheeks. The cool sensation was wonderful on his feverish face, but Lor still felt a pulsing worry that she was going to realize how absolutely repulsive he was any minute now, especially after touching him. “You really don’t have to do anything for me…”

“Ohh, muffin,” she said softly, fingers beginning to run through his hair. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to. You just think of me as your temporary stand-in mother.” Em said this with a playful upturn of her lips, though the genuine warmth was more than evident in her voice. She noted Lor’s shivering and went to the unfolded luggage rack that had a small stack of cardigans and sweaters. “Do you have a preference for cozy clothes, sweetheart?”

“Oh, um…” Lor sniffled and shook his head. “Any is fine, but, uh...the gray one is my favorite.”

Em retrieved it and brought it back. Lor thanked her quietly as he pulled the cable knit sweater over his head. Emerging from it with disheveled hair, Lor still couldn’t look at her. His greatest fear at the moment was Em suddenly realizing how absolutely terrible he was, and deciding that even she couldn’t manage to be good to him.

It didn’t always used to be like this. Sure, Lor had always been insecure with a poor self image, but it’s like that had all increased tenfold ever since…

Well. He couldn’t think about that relationship ending.

Lor took a tissue from the box on the nightstand and folded it beneath his nose as it threatened to drip. Desperate to fill the silence so Em wouldn’t have to be forced to focus on Lor cleaning himself up, he said the first thing that came to mind. “I never got this sort of thing from...my mother…”

Em was quiet for a beat before taking a seat next to him on the bed. The mattress dipped slightly with her added presence, and Lor suddenly found himself sliding closer an inch. Normally he would be perturbed by anyone coming closer when he was clearly in a worse state than usual, but it was like Em always had a bubble of peace and calm and love around her. He wasn’t sure when the last time was that he had ever felt this...comforted. “Oh?” “Yeah, uh…”

He had talked about his terrible mother to Piper some, both when they dated and when they used to be friends, but not enough to push himself past the point of ‘bitter and angry child’ and into the territory of ‘genuinely hurt and wounded child’. His brother was more of a ‘don’t hang onto the past’ kind of person. Lor was endlessly frustrated with this approach. Maybe it was because his past was so full of bruises that kept being pressed and pressed and pressed enough to keep them from healing even slightly. His brother had always been handsome and sociable and funny and athletic. His brother never had to worry about anyone hurting him.

Especially not the way that Piper had hurt Lor.

God. The pain in his chest was a searing knife. When was this going to be over? When was he going to be able to think about her without feeling like he was dying?

Em reached to squeeze his shoulder. Lor startled and looked at her with wide eyes before promptly sniffling, lower lip wobbling as he fought to keep tears back. He had spent years learning to steel himself against crying in the face of being mercilessly bullied, but he had never had to do it in response to someone...being good to him. It just plainly didn’t happen.

“I miss her so much,” he said through tight wheezes, visions of Piper’s face flooding his mind. He fumbled for his inhaler, popping the cap and taking two deep puffs of the medication. Lor squeezed his eyes shut, forcing hot tears to stream down his cheeks. He was feverish and cold and alone in the world, and his tear ducts knew this all too well.

“Oh, you poor baby…” Em cooed, reaching to hold his face again. Lor finally, finally met her eyes. Her expression was one of ginger, permeating warmth that touched every bit of his aching heart. Why was she being so nice? Why did she care about him? How could she care about him? All these questions swam through his mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to move away. Lor closed his eyes again and trembled. “When did she pass?”

“...What?” Lor asked with a sniffle.

Em’s eyebrows were drawn upward in sympathy. She reached for two tissues and began to dry the tears running down his cheeks. “Your mother, honey. How long ago did she die?”

Oh. She thought he was missing his mother. Lor would have let an embittered laugh tumble out of him were his nose not scrunching with a noisy sniffle. He didn’t often get a warning when a tickle was brewing enough to turn into something concerning; Part of his chronic rhinitis keeping him congested a solid chunk of the time also came with a dulled sense of being able to predict when he had to sneeze. Thus, he usually wound up just barely managing to either A) twist away from what he was doing, B) cover, or C) both, when he got extremely lucky. This response was usually activated in kind in public, blessedly, though when he was relaxed or distracted, it wasn’t quite as diligent. His laptop could definitely attest to that.

Luckily, Lor never really managed to be relaxed around much of anyone, which is what made this moment with Em so...challenging. He was now being given the briefest warning as his nose ran further, and--God, a running nose always--made him--

He fumbled to snatch the tear-stained tissues from Em, yanking them over his nose just as a hitch wheezed out of him. The softness of the mattress compressed beneath Lor with two sibilating sneezes that took him by surprise, hunching his shoulders. “Hh-! Hahh--Hhzz’zhuh! HehhzzHUE!”

The set of sneezes left him thoroughly winded. This wasn’t exactly a difficult feat to accomplish, but the asthmatic astronomer still found himself woozy in the aftermath. Lor tried to sniffle and was unsuccessful. Lungs rattling with a weak exhale, he reached to fumble for the inhaler on the bedside table again. Lor finally opened his eyes and was only able to see through one lens of his glasses; the other was slightly too low after the temple had been jostled off his ear.

“B-..Bless you, pumpkin.”

He was holding the folded tissues to his nose, and Em’s soft fingers along with it. She seemed startled, but instantaneously started to soothe him before Lor could even force his brain to work long enough to react to his hideous situation.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s alright,” Em cooed softly, easing her hand away as Lor stared at her with wide eyes. “Don’t worry--”

It was like her gentle voice was the button to jumpstart his horrified reaction. Lor scrambled back from her, headboard sounding off a loud thunk! in response to his head knocking against it. “Oh, my God, I’m sorry, I’m disgusting.”

Em shook her head as she slowly reached for him. “Darling, you’re not. I mean it. You’re feeling miserable. You just lost a relationship that was important to you, you’re missing your mother…You’re not disgusting. You’re tired and under the weather. And I’m going to get you taken care of, alright?”

It wasn’t the whole accidentally sneezing in a tissue held by his host thing that made Lor snap. He could have recovered from that with her gentle urging, even if the incident would haunt him before he fell asleep for the rest of his life. It was the soft, gentle promise to take care of him that sent him over an edge that he hadn’t been aware was coming up so fast. It was the straw on the proverbial camel’s back.

There was no possible way for her to look at what an unlovable human being he was and still want to treat him like this.

“Let me check your temp, lovebug--”

Lor’s fingers clenched into fists and unclenched rapidly as he squeezed his eyes shut. “Stop being nice to me!” he begged. “Stop--Stop calling me pet names and stop touching me and stop acting like you like me!”

He couldn’t look at her. Every breath was coming in short, raspy pants that he couldn’t even begin to control. His arms shook as he let out an overwhelmed whimper, thrusting the palms of his hands over his eyes. Lor’s fingers pressed against his forehead and temples, turning the tan skin there to an irritated red. His brain was on fire as he curled in tight to himself with the meltdown--

The pause button was pressed immediately as Em held his cheeks again. Peace flooded his brain like fresh water being poured into oil. It was only then that Lor realized that this had to be magic in her touch; There was no other possible way for an episode to come grinding to a halt. He had spent his whole life trying. His mother had spent his whole life trying, though her harsh methods certainly wound up doing far more harm to him than good.

This was unlike any calm he had ever felt, even as he continued to wheeze.

“Use your inhaler, Lory, sweetheart,” Em whispered. “I promise I won’t touch you again after this. I just had to help you fir--” “No, no, I…” Lor sniffled and took two more puffs of his inhaler. The healing medicine helped him breathe again almost instantly, though he was still sounding worse for wear. Another weak whimper completely deflated his body as he leaned into Em’s cool touch. “It’s okay. I-I’m okay with it. It’s nice. I just…"

His nostrils both flared at once. Lor brought the tissues to his face, breath snagging with hitch after hitch as a sharp tickle raged through his sinuses. After several false starts, a low whine rumbled in his throat as he tried to urge the irritation along. “Hnngg…hh! S-Sorry…”

“Shh,” Em said with a shake of her head, rubbing Lor’s opposite arm as his head fell to her shoulder. “You take your time.”

His jaw hung slack with the mind-numbing tingling coursing through his nose. After several long beats of sneezy weightlessness, he was finally able to buckle into his tissues with a sneeze that shook he and Em both as he remained with his head on her shoulder. His nimble knees jerked toward his chest with the release. “HzzZZEUH! Woah…” Lor blushed, sniffling heavily as he mopped up the underside of his nose. “Sorry, th-that was—sdff! Big…”

Em immediately laughed with all the love in the world in her voice. Lor would normally bristle over someone laughing at anything related to his nose, but it was evident that Em was laughing fondly. She raised one hand and dried a sneezy tear from Lor's cheek before pecking his temple. "My goodness. Bless you, sweet thing. That cold’s just got you by the nose and isn’t letting go, mm?” She gave Lor’s arm a slow rub. “Now. What were you saying, love?”

Lor sniffled, lowering the tissues from his face. He leaned into Em’s hold, feeling perfectly enveloped by her warmth and love. “I, um…” He squeezed his eyes shut, chin wobbling as he spoke. “I…I don’t mind being touched by you. It’s comforting, and—and I’ve never had anything like this before. But I feel like I…I don’t deserve it.”

“You feel unlovable,” Em said quietly, thumbing the tears from his cheeks again. “You feel like nobody could ever think that the person you are is worth looking past your appearance. Which, by the way, is darling. I think you’re just as cute as a button, and I’m sure your mother thought you were handsome, too.”

Lor tried to laugh, but all that came out was a sound that seemed to be a mix of a sigh and a sob. “She’s not dead,” he murmured. “I wish. She never…” Fresh tears were streaming down his cheeks every moment. “She never loved me, I don’t think. Never acted like she did, anyway. And, and you being nice is so...weird...because nobody has ever looked at me and thought I was-....w-worth being taken care of…” He sobbed again. “And I try to make myself think that I don’t need anyone to ever love me, but….”

She was patient and quiet as he struggled to get ahold of himself. Lor was sure his teary, dripping face had to be the worst thing she could possibly be seeing, but everything in him was just so...soothed by her energy.

“But this is really nice…” Lor hiccuped weakly. “And it’s painful, because nobody is ever going to love me enough to--”

“I will.” Em took Lor by the chin and gently raised his face. She looked into his eyes with purpose. “Alright? I don’t care what your horrible mother thinks. I feel everything good inside of you, and that is worth loving. You’ve been hurt, and damaged, and that clouds the way you view the world, but you still aren’t bad. You are a wonderful young man.”

He felt horrible for flinching. Everything she was saying was so special, and unlike anything he had ever heard, but…“Um-...” Lor sniffled and rubbed a tired wrist back and forth beneath his nose. “Maybe, um… Maybe I don’t like being called a-...uh, a-a man…”

Em processed this information for a beat before nodding. Her hands slowly moved back from his face as he began to recover. “Of course. Well, you are a wonderful Lawrence. And I want you to stay here. Alright?” She gave him a small smile, eyes filled with more emotions than he knew were possible to have at once. “I think you’ve spent too long living on your own.”

He blinked slowly through teary eyes. Lor was exhausted and emotional, and the thought of being in a place where he could get warmth like this without even having to ask for it was....too good to be true, right? But, God, still so, so good.

“...O-Okay,” he said quietly, sniffling as his nose threatened to run again. “...Thank you. Let’s--um, just let me know what rent and utilities and--hih!--hhh--!" Damn all this fucking hitching! His breath snagged for another several seconds before the tickle backed off. Lor let out a shivery breath. "And...And how much all that is..." he murmured exhaustedly.

“Shh, shh, shh.” Em gave his hand a small squeeze before beginning to stand up. Lor was hardly aware of the way she gently urged him down as she spoke, reaching to remove his glasses. “You just think about getting better, my dear. Everything else can wait.”

Lor’s head eased into the pillow. He closed his eyes immediately and felt a heavy weight on them. Em’s next few words barely made sense as sleep so thoroughly consumed him. The last thing he was aware of was the way her fingers remained laced with his, unrelentingly loving.

With that, Lor promptly slipped into the deepest sleep of his life.

#sneeze kink #sneeze fic #oc lor #oc em #sick fic #emotional whump

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yesimwriting · 2 years

Text

A Knife in the Back

A/N felt like coming back to writing here now that it’s summer and i’m working on rediscovering myself in order to deal with some mental health stuff. What’s a better thing to come back with than my roots?

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Background: This is very much inspired by the main relationship dynamic in the Hulu show ‘The Great’ (if you haven’t watched it and have a hulu subscription and are old enough I’d def recommend it). Basically this is just playing into the ‘i love you, but i’m supposed to want to kill you’ trope. Also inspired by Taylor Swift’s ‘My Tears Ricochet’ (i’m obsessed with the line ‘you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same’)

Summary: Y/n has been groomed her entire life to take over as head of a major gang. Recently, she’s been working with the Crows. Tonight, though, she’s being put to the ultimate test of loyalty. No longer is this a game of cat and unaware mouse, because now she’s supposed to kill Kaz Brekker.

this ends on a cliffhanger bc i wanted to do a two-part thing, so let me know if you’d be interested in that or want to be tagged :))

I was first exposed to the concept of taking someone’s life when I was about seven. I don’t remember what happened, but I remember that Cassandra hadn’t meant for me to find out about it. She didn’t take any care to keep it from me, but she didn’t exactly want me walking into her office after she slit the throat of the merchant that tried taking advantage of her.

She had blinked at me, then, before telling me that forcing death was just a part of life. She didn’t react when I ran out into the hall to throw up after the man’s blood soaked into my socks. She rubbed my back gently and told me that soon I’d learn how to kill efficiently so that I wouldn’t have to stomach much.

I was ten when Cassandra made good on that promise. I still remember the day she taught me how to kill with calculation. We spent the day together, plunging blades into foam mannequins. She presented me with my first dagger that day.

That was years ago, and somehow, by some kind of miracle, I had avoided ever having to kill someone. Cassandra raised me, meaning that there’s always been someone else around to do the dirty work. Either Cassandra would do the ugly part of a job for me or one of her upper ranking underlings would be around in order to spare me.

But today is the day where all of that changes. Not only do I have to kill someone, but I have to kill Kaz Brekker. The pit in my stomach should only exist because of my fear of retaliation. I should only be concerned about what the Bastard of the Barrel will do if he realizes my betrayal, but that’s not why I’ve felt sick all day.

When I first started playing double agent, I didn’t think it’d end like this for so many reasons. Cassandra never told me that her overall goal was to have Kaz Brekker killed. I also really, really didn’t expect to see Kaz as a person, let alone...

I don’t even know. I just--I hated him. I was supposed to hate him and being exposed to his cruelty and lack of regard for life made it easy. And then--then one day it started to seem like maybe he isn’t made of darkness. Maybe he’s only touched by it, maybe he only wears it because he needs to. Maybe he’s more like Cassandra than I was supposed to realize.

“You alright, dovey?”

I should roll my eyes at Jesper’s question and relax into my seat. I should act normal so that no one will suspect anything of me. All I can manage to do is slump into my seat. “A bit of a headache,” I mumble, “You know it happens from time to time.” My dagger is sheathed beneath layers of fabric but somehow I still feel the coldness of the metal. It forces a chill through me. “And don’t call me ‘Dovey’, we’ve talked about nicknames.”

Jesper lets his head fall to the side dramatically. My eyes move to the glass in his hand. The amber liquid sloshes with Jesper’s movements. “You’re no fun when you’re in a mood.” I open my mouth to comment on how dramatic he’s being and the fact that I’m feeling perfectly fine, but he beats me to it. “Then again, with what boss-man said, I’d be in a mood, too.”

What--what Kaz said? “With what who said?”

Sobriety attempts to grasp Jesper, but he quickly dodges it. His eyes briefly shut as he takes a sharp inhale. “You don’t know.”

Something in my stomach knots. Did Kaz find out who I am? “Know what?” He brings a finger up to his lips, signaling that it’s a secret. “Jesper.”

“Y/n,” he copies the sharpness of my tone. I continue to glare at him. “C’mon, don’t put me in this position, today’s been hard enough. Our job went off without an issue, don’t drag--” I don’t stop glowering. “Y/n--” He sighs once. “Fine--I don’t--I didn’t hear much, just that your name--” Jesper pauses, struggling to arrange his sentence. “Your name came up during a deal. I couldn’t quite hear everything.”

“Well, what did you hear?”

Jesper hesitates again, eyebrows pinching together in an unsettlingly pitiful way. “Some kind of contingency thing--something that would’ve--would’ve given the other man the rights to you.”

Something in me bursts into flame. The ice of the knife strapped to my skin is suddenly welcome. An old instinct in my chest understands the meaning of Jesper’s slurred words before the rest of me does. “The rights to me?”

Jesper shifts uneasily. “If your headache’s not going away, maybe you should just have a drink for your nerves and go to bed.” I don’t move.

“How can someone have ‘the rights’ to me? I’m not indentured--”

“Kaz knows how to run with an assumption when it’s convenient.”

Something in my chest turns to stone. Jesper’s drunken testimony has left gaps in the story, but it’s not exactly hard to fill in. For whatever reason, Kaz put me on the line for a deal. It wouldn’t have been hard for him to make good on his promise. Kaz could slip something into my drink. He could overpower me or have someone do it for him. He could force me into something at gunpoint. He could--he could have sold me.

I swallow once, wiping my eyes with my palm. “Listen, y/n, Kaz says whatever he needs to--”

“His word means something, Jesper, you know that.”

My voice must reflect how hollow I feel inside because Jesper sighs once. “Y/n-”

I swallow once, “I’m fine, Jesper. You didn’t hear everything, and you’re drunk, and nothing happened. Everything’s fine.”

Something in my chest has stopped. He was willing to sell me. I was wagered like the gambling chips from the Crow Club. Everything Cassandra said was right. Kaz Brekker may be a criminal like the woman that raised me, but he lacks Cassandra’s one redeeming quality. He lives without humanity.

I have heard the stories, I have seen what becomes of women sold and bartered. Cassandra has stolen so many women that were owned by men like the man Kaz just did business with. The man he was willing to sell me to just to get an edge on Pekka Rollins.

Thousands of images reflect in my mind. I can see them now, their empty eyes offset only by the litter of bruises against their skin.

“Y/n--”

“I said I’m fine, Jesper. I know how Brekker is.” I repeat, voice stern. “I just need to go to bed.” He looks like he wants to say something. “I’ll sleep it all off.” I stand, staring at a blank spot on the wall. “Don’t drink too much, alright? Just make sure you eventually find your way to a safe bed. It doesn’t even have to be yours.”

Jesper grins, “You get me.” He sighs, adjusting his hold on his glass. “Will do, Doves, make sure to take something to make sleeping off that headache a little easier.”

No matter how tonight goes, if I survive, I’m going to need to drink something strong. “Yeah, Jes, I’ll take care of my headache.”

I am a phantom as I approach the stairwell. In another life, another version of events, I never entertained the idea of being Jesper’s company as he drank in celebration of our success. In that reality, what I need to do is less possible.

With shaking hands I reach towards the pocket of my dark pants. In a single slash, the blade my fingers are touching can take a life. I can extinguish a flame of destruction and Cassandra will be proud of me. She’ll realize that the child she took in was worth it.

“Y/n--”

I turn, trying to hide how ambushed I feel. Okay...there’s nothing weird about jumping about someone’s sudden appearance. “Kaz.”

His name stumbles awkwardly from me. Act normal. “I need to speak to you.” Speak to me, how kind of him to waste his valuable time communicating with someone who’s basically cattle. “I have some business to attend to first. Meet me in my office before the hour ends?”

Why, is my purchaser going to be expecting me? The urge to lash out pulses through me, but that will get me nothing. Kaz is beyond reason. If I could change him, if I could spare him, I would. So I swallow the lump in my throat and nod.

“The color’s drained from your face.” His observation is a blow to the chest. “You’re not ill. Does Nina--”

“I’m fine.” His concern is only practical. Illness would only slow me down or make me less valuable. “Just a migraine. I’ll sleep it off tonight.”

His eyebrows draw together for a moment. “Hm.” Please let that be the dismissal I’m looking for. “If you’re feeling uneasy, you don’t need to over concern yourself. That’s what I wanted to meet with you about.” Kaz pauses, an odd affliction crossing his features briefly. “You did good work today.”

An unnamed feeling wedges itself between my hurt and fury. Grief--crushing, undeniable grief has found itself in me. “Thank you.”

Kaz won’t stop looking at me directly in the eye. “I know that you’re adverse to killing and much of what I do, but you never let that translate into weakness.”

His voice is low and uneasily patient. My chest flutters, all of my emotions curdling in my chest. Even on a normal day I wouldn’t be able to think of a good response to that. “I’ll see you before the end fo the hour.” He nods once and I turn. “Kaz,” his name comes from me without my permission, “I appreciate your acknowledgement of my lack of weakness.”

For a second, I think he might smile. “I never said you lack weakness.”

“I know, but your gushing approval made your true feelings clear.”

“Dear, y/n, light of my existence,” Kaz approaches me, extending a hand slowly. I become perfectly still as his pinky latches onto mine for a brief moment. My heart stops. “I have never once ‘gushed approval’.” His sarcasm seems to settle me. The corner of my mouth turns upwards. “Now, get out of my way, I have some business to deal with downstairs.”

“Doubt I could get you to ask more nicely.”

He takes a single step forward. “Please, excuse me.”

A final good moment with Kaz. My chest swells as I step to the side. “That’s more like it.”

He disappears down the stairs. Okay--within the hour. I have time to-to think and to--I don’t even know. Cassandra sent me here to ruin him, to work against him so that our gang could do better. I’m a mole, not a killer. But I should have known that one day our relationship would end like this--the knife of one buried in the back of the other.

That final thought echoes in my chest, shattering me. I make it to my room, lock the door, and sink against the wall, suppressing a sob.

I stay like that for as long as I can justify it, but there is no putting off the inevitable. Kaz Brekker will die at my hand, and it is deserved. I wipe at my tears with the back of my palm and wash my face in the sink. Once I’m convinced that I’m presentable, I leave my room, checking for the blade secured to my thigh. It hasn’t been that long, so there’s a good chance I will have the element of surprise. That’s the only way to end this. I’ll be efficient, just like Cassandra taught me. He will not suffer, and it will not be personal.

I walk to his office, my steps methodical. He would have sold me. He would have sold me. He would have sold me. I take a deep breath, reaching for the handle of the door to his office. I pull the dagger from its place, squeezing the hilt. He would have ruined me.

Pushing the door open silently, I stop breathing. His tall figure is turned away from the door. Good, this way he won’t have to see me and I won’t have to feel his reaction. My steps are even until I’m within arms reach of him. Think of Cassandra, think of all he’s done.

My blade plunges into his back. The world stops. I pull my knife out before pushing it back in. Tears swell in my eyes. Again and again, I stab him. He takes two unsteady steps before falling to his knees. I yank the knife out one final time. He collapses in front of me.

Everything in my body shatters. Dead--Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the boy who stayed up with me after an injury left me too sore to sleep, the man who would have sold me. He used me as currency, he has disrespected and threatened me so many times, and he linked his gloved pinky with mine in order to ease me.

I stare at his body, forcing the hurt to crash into me like violent waves. All of my fury, all of my desire to win Cassandra over, vanishes. Now all that’s left is a burning agony.

What have I done?

The question is screamed so loudly in my head that it feels silent. I tear my gaze from the body--his body--and stare at my knife. The end of it is coated in so much sticky, red liquid I could throw up. My hands and clothing are covered in the same thing. I drop to my knees, letting everything I’m wearing soak into his blood. My free hand covers my mouth in hopes of silencing the sound that is ripped from my throat. The urge to touch him, to feel him while he’s still warm, pours through me. But the one thing I can still offer him is the protection of his will. I will respect his wishes. So instead of dropping over him, I just stare, my fingers still gripping the damn knife.

What have I done?

Collected footsteps snap me out of the trans I’ve fallen into. I take two deep breaths before turning my head. If I have been caught, I deserve whatever fate I will be met with. Blinking twice, I force my eyes to adjust on the person who has found me. There is no energy in me for fear for myself, there is only heartbreak.

Kaz. It’s--he’s alive. By some Saint granted miracle, he’s alive!

He’s standing there, watching me with the blankest expression I’ve ever seen him wear. I don’t care. I don’t care. I jump to my feet, disregarding the only man I’ve ever killed. Whoever he was, that’s something for me to feel guilty about later. Eventually, the relief will become a feeling I can manage and I’ll be able to regret the life I just took, but right now all that matters is Kaz.

I drop the dagger, letting it clatter against the hardwood floor. I run towards him, desperate to be close enough to see his open eyes and to be aware of the rise and fall of his chest. “Kaz,” a lament, a prayer, a lifeline.

My hand moves forward without a second thought. I link my pinky with his, the same way he did earlier. I squeeze his finger as tightly as possible, desperate to feel the fact that he’s alive. Kaz owes me nothing, but he gives me what I need. His pinky squeezes mine back, his eyes holding mine.

I think we could have stayed like that forever. But the man that I attacked shattered our silence with a pained, exhausted groan. Our hands fall apart.

#Kaz Brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x you #kazz brekker imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone netflix #six of crows #six of crows x reader #soc #six of crows imagine

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lionofstone · 2 years

Text

Malevolent Part 25 reaction post bc my friend who listens to it is asleep and i don’t want to spam them so i’m compiling my thoughts here so i can send one message lets gooooo

all i’ve been told is that there are ‘sweet moments’ in the first ten minutes so i am :))

arthur talking about farou </3

“a bleeding heart is only going to get us killed” AH

“we need to stay mindful of this, of us.” they’re an us.... my venom bias is showing again lol

“don’t be disappointed that we didn’t help them” “i’m disappointed that you don’t seem to care” AHH JOHN IS BECOMING HIS TETHER TO HUMANITY,,,, they are swapping roles,,,,

“have you ever picked a lock like this” “i may have, yes” listen ik this is probably Private Investigator Related but my brain did in fact go “criminal arthur 👀” so. yknow.

“we’re not like other people are we” OH AH that line is made for me... the way he sounds when he says it... AHHHH

when arthur and john work together 😭😭😭😭

yes that is literally the plot of the whole podcast yes it still gets me every time

“i am glad you’re surviving for us” :((((

john is literally so sweet he’s trying so hard to be Good and Kind and Human and i adore him

this is also the ‘sweet moment’ quinn mentioned i am sure

“arthur you fucking did it!!” i love when he celebrates he is everything to me

they are being Awkward with each other and it’s very entertaining but also i am Worried i want them to have an actual conversation again please i like when they talk about their feelings

i’m so focused on the arthur & john dynamic that i just. forget to pay attention to the plot

every time they’re like “oh what should we do? which direction?” i’m like. yeah there’s the patreon choice. there it is. idk if i’ll ever join the patreon bc i think it’s fun to have no idea & also interacting with the story feels like it would break suspension of disbelief (for me) (unless it eventually Came Up in the narrative a la Bandersnatch) (but this is just a personal preference)

“there was a time when [bloody footprints] would’ve chilled me to the bone” arthur my guy you were a private investigator??? presumably you were in crime scenes at least occasionally???? also u killed a man in episode one (ok like technically john did but you were Very Close)

“the cold has taken me” “i can’t feel as much” “it’s nothing that doesn’t come with experience, i suppose” once again: they are swapping places!!! arthur feels less human!!!!

also i am glad they are talking about emotions again <3

“i never thought you’d be cold” :(

“i am not a callous man, john” “i’m saying your words are taken to heart”

“really?” “yes!” i love when they Communicate <3 besties <3

John demanding answers about their time apart ahhhhhhhh

“tell me everything” YEAH

(also whenever they do these ‘recaps’ i can’t help but think that it’s a clever way of helping the audience along since it’s usually about a month between episodes which is A While but also the recaps just. make sense in universe so i’m never too mad about it)

arthur always talks about them going home together and it makes me :)

john asking “how do you picture that” and arthur answering with practical things like getting a car etc etc AHHH it’s so !!!!! bc i def interpreted that question as john being more like “what happens to us/me when you go back home/to your life” and arthur answered it like it was “how do you think we’d manage the journey” and it’s just. good good emotion soup

like on one hand i think it’s arthur subconsciously being like “we’re going to stick together ofc” bc that’s not in question for him but on the other i’m like. arthur. please do some reflection and then use your words

WHY DID THAT “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO” MAKE ME JUMP SO BAD

this voice sounds So Scared

Matthew ahhh

“who are you talking to” “no one” :(((

“tell us—tell me” arthur is so bad at pretending to be a single person

“i’m not supposed to tell you...yet” UH MATTHEW? WTF DOES THAT MEAN?

arthur interrogating matthew makes me really sad for some reason

i think bc there was a time when arthur would’ve opened the door no question

“some seek a power they never had and some people seek power they once did” that’s a very good line

why is john so panicked about getting information about new york did i miss something

“HIS EYES ARE BLEEDING ARTHUR”

DID MATTHEW JUST EXPLODE

DID HE JUST

ALKFHAG ????

“his head split in two” YEAH I GATHERED THAT THANKS JOHN

and ofc they’re fighting again <//3

“arthur...” “i know. you don’t know.”

john is so gentle with arthur in his tone

“what a waste” “...a waste?”

“a man is dead, arthur.” john :(

ahhh like on one hand i’m enjoying arthur’s corruption arc but on the other i miss when he was kind & and john was leaning from him

i do love a good role reversal i’m just also Worried about what’s going to happen to them & their dynamic yknow

OOOH THREE SOLDIERS i love when things Connect

“the coin i flipped—” “what?” PLEASE JUST EXPLAIN THINGS TO JOHN ARTHUR PLEASE HE DESERVES TO KNOW AND MAYBE HE CAN HELP YOU

“matthew said he wasn’t part of it—” “who?” ARTHUR 🔪

“they needed help” “so do we!” ARTHUR 🔪 🔪 🔪

“this is how we stop them!” “is it?”

“HOW EXACTLY WAS YELLOW THE MONSTER BETWEEN YOU TWO” GET HIM JOHN!!!!!

“BECAUSE HE WAS JUST LIKE YOU” ARTHUR I AM COMING FOR YOUR KNEES

PARASITE PARASITE??????????? wtf i am so :(

“too inconsequential to exist on his own” ARTHUR WTF

like..... is that not exactly what the king in yellow was getting at?? essentially??? “oh john shouldn’t be on his own he needs to be part of the whole” like??? ARTHUR WTF HOW DARE YOU

john bitterly describing things i am :(

“arthur” “what” “i’m glad i’m not like you”

“the feelings mutual”

HI HOW TF AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT ANOTHER MONTH FOR CLOSURE ON THAT ONE

remember what i said about not getting patreon? i am second guessing that now ajfgkaasfkjgs

i am feeling a lot of terrible emotions

quinn i hate u for getting me into this podcast but also tysm <3 mixed bag with me

gonna just. go back to listening to you call it madness (i call it love) on repeat bc that provides Happier Thoughts

devastated rn

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #ljs life #gonna insane over this podcast but what else is new

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fyodorloveclub · 1 year

Note

Alright bisch , im doing this

*slams my resume on your desk

K so Hi! I'm Noodles as you know by now and I go by she/they . Currently unemployed and finishing school and 18 years old.

Appearance wise I'm pretty lanky and tall(5'11) with short grey hair and blue eyes. I wear shit ton of hoodies and casual clothes that are more practical than for looks. (Side effect is I have always smth in my pockets like pens or money or gum, it's like Blackhole)

This feels weird talking about personality but hey whatever dhdh. I'm clearly an introvert but surprisingly I can thrive in social events too. I can easily talk to strangers and I would say even charm them if I put my mind to it , it just simply has a limit and after a while I fizzle out and feel like not talking. I like to give people things and help in any way, it brings me more joy than anything which translates into not handling affection well. I'm pretty chill and laid back compared to some people , I don't involve myself into dramas or issues since I prefer to watch afar. Even though I secretly might wanna punch some people who can't take the hint.(Violence is the answer sometimes kids) It's surprising how chill and unbothered I am but when shit goes down and I'm fed up I take the reigns and tell people what to do cause they're indecisive morons. It's not often but it fills me with pride when I can take the lead like this and people believe in me to be leader.

(I did the test but it's confusing a bit? If u know the other personality test I'm an INFP but thats a bit old now)

Some of my hobbies include drawing a shit ton of small doodles but never having the patience to stick with one piece too long. Piloting I would also consider a hobby , and reading and playing video games too in spare time. But lately taking walks has taken a big part in my life I have come to enjoy them too. I do bite my nails a lot unfortunately, old habit eeee

Likes and dislikes sheesh okay uh. I like people who don't lie about their feelings. Hate lies with passion. Those small white lies don't bother me but stuff like hiding your feelings and lying to another person's face whenever u like em or not makes my blood boil. I hate blueberries, lavender and coconut , Oblivious people and of course The current capitalistic system .

I like rats , snakes , birds ,cats and dogs of course . Creating anything brings me joy, whenever it be art , writing or even just ideas. My hands need to keep doing smth and creating is one way to do it. I also like winter and cold somehow , better than heat for sure

(U can go nsfw too but Its not a requirement btw heh)

(And for characters not to match with I don't think I'm comfy with mori much or nikolai sorryy)

Thank you for doing this event hon, and thank you for letting me participate , lov uuuuuuu

⚞ noodles x chuuya ⚟

⋆ ok first of all i know you dont like pink but i think its cute so suck it up

⋆ second of all. i rly wanted to be more creative and give you someone not super obvious but chuuya just works so well like that is ur man

⋆ third of all you will always be shipped with me above anyone else ok u know this

⋆ he is so fucking. gender. and sexy we discuss this often

⋆ above all else you are a fucking people pleaser even to ur own detriment dkfjdkjdf and i truly think chuuya is among the few people who wouldn't abuse this. he'd entertain you because he knows its fulfilling for you, but make sure you arent running yourself dry

⋆ he would indulge in your praise kink at every turn. not even just sexually although he def would be telling you (depending on position/situation) how sexy you look or how good you're being or how good ur fucking him

↣ in everyday life too! how much he appreciates you and how thankful he is for u. behind closed doors this man is so fucking soft no matter how steely he acts in front of others.

⋆ chuuya will so let you peg him in fact he will request this

⋆ chuuya is also not a liar (irl, probably lies his ass off to PM ppl) and really wants someone who he can trust to always be honest with him, because he def has trust issues.

⋆ he will not hide his feelings either. again he probably has a good ass poker face just bc . pm exec and all that but he will always be so straightforward because that's just how he is. you'd never have to worry about him stewing silently or secretly being pissed off

⋆ it irks him so bad how much taller you are but he tries to not let it get to him too bad dkfkdjkjfkj

⋆ "violence is sometimes the answer kids" i am 100% positive he has said that before at some point in his life

↣ he'd be a horrible enabler tho like you'd be ranting how much you want to kill a peer/coworker and he'd be like fucking do it. whats stopping you and ur like PRISON IS ??????

⋆ he's the same when it comes to avoiding unnecessary drama. he thinks it's dumb as fuck and has absolutely no interest in getting involved. but he does like shit talking with you at home fjkdfkjdfj or going on rants abt how much he fucking hates dazai and ur sitting on the couch as he paces around the room like. uh huh yes honey for sure

⋆ you'd def always be drawing or doodling sketches of him and the paper ones he'd keep all of them and store them bc he finds it so endearing

⋆ chuuya is the same exact way when it comes to an introvert that's able to be charming as fuck. like you'd be able to attend dinners or parties or whatever and charm everyone there but you leave after like an hour fkdfkdkjfdjk and then sit in silence on the couch watching tv to recharge

⋆ i dont think he'd be great about letting you be the leader/taking the reigns in situatiions honestly but you'd also completely trust him to not be a fucking idiot and trust his decisions so does it rly matter

⋆ why do you hate lavender. i love lavender. chuuya probably loves lavender

⋆ your ability to stay unbothered would be really good for him and his incredibly short (like him) temper. you'd be like the only person who could calm him down and get him to chill the fuck out literally please do this my guy is so high strung sometimes

⋆ he'd absolutely fucking obliterate your ass in any video games

⋆ power couple. can i be the third pls

⋆ IM SORRY I JUST CANT DO NSFW ABT YOU WITH ANYONE ELSE EVEN IF ITS FICTIONAL FJDJFJDF

⋆ love u

#:D #i wanted to add a keep reading but it kept glitching out sorry guys #chuuya x reader #matchmaking

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sopfr3 · 2 years

Note

Hi, i hope doing good. Can i have an AoT and MHA match please 💐 First of all, I apologize for my English. I'm still practicing. I'm 18. I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference. I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy cheeks. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. Also i'm 172 cm. I'm Libra, a infp. I always have poker face. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, quiet, and distant. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, resourceful and knowledgeable. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, history, fashion. I always wear my headphones and listen to music. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, indie/rock music flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints.Also i wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people.

hey man! your english is really good so there’s nothing to worry about :) also sorry it took a little bit for me to do this! i didn’t check my inbox lmaoo. tysm for requesting as well :D without further ado, i present to you.. your matches !!

‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞˚｡*.𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞˚｡*.𓆝·˙‧̍̊

SHINSOU HITOSHI ☻

ugh this man is so freaking cool. he was drawn in by your cleverness at first, and then when he got to know you his feeling blossomed. he would definitely admire your drawings, would even let you draw on him if you asked🤭 LOVES your music. when he listens to music he will hand you one of his earbuds offering you to listen with him🥹 i need someone like this asap. greatly appreciates that you love silence as much as him.

would def make a playlist for the both of you guys while you’re on a date. you guys just chilling at either of your houses, doing your own thing with some soft music playing. the window slightly cracked with the breeze flowing in just slightly, the smell of spring in the air<3

he knows what it’s like to be on his own, especially due to his quirk. he hates that you feel that way. he’s do anything to prevent you from feeling like that :((

loves your different earrings. wonders what kind of earrings you’ll match with your outfit. always a fun guessing game :]

BERTHOLDT HOOVER ◡̈

i don’t even know where to start with this nervous nelly. he would think you’re so badass from far away. smart, stoic, he’d be at a loss of words. everyone saw your guys’ crushes on each other before you guys, making bets and such(jean had to give eren his bread roll due to a bet). adores your silly socks<3 makes his day seeing what new pair you have on, same with the earrings too!! he notices the little things, like how you parent yourself. he always hopes that you know you can lean on him for support.

it’s all thanks to reiner and annie that he made the first move. well, more so annie. reiner isn’t the most skilled with romance. “just play hard to get. chicks dig that.” cue annie rolling her eyes and giving bertholdt actual good advice. he had to write down his confession on paper because he was getting extremely anxious.

would actually die if you started talking about mythology. he finds it so attractive when people talk about their passions.

would pick honeysuckles during the spring for you because he knows you love them. and they never fail to remind him of you.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ༓☾　　☽༓‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

runner ups !! :

erwin smith - would love to talk to you about history , doesn’t mind that you’re a tough nut to crack , admires your knowledge and acknowledges your advice before his decisions.

kyouka jirou - would play your fav songs on the guitar , loves that you’re prepared for any and every situation , adores the fact that you love different types of people, no matter what.

#sopfr3posts #matchups #attack on titan #my hero academia #matchup #bertholdt hoover #hitoshi shinsou

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87435678753256732 · 1 year

Text

March 2023

My last monthly check in ended with a nice little update. today marks 3/28/2023, and i have been in a relationship with my bf since 2/26/2023, and met on 2/22. talk about angel numbers, woaa. i wanted to list out the ways in which he makes me feel so special, and the things that have helped me fall in love with him. 1. communication. i love talking to people, esp when they hold a special place in my heart. dumb tiktok “coaches” say constant communication/ texting is lovebombing, but i disagree. texting is a way to get to know the person outside of their IRL personality, which can sometimes be held back if they are shy. I’ve had constant communication, good morning and night texts, and just silly little conversations and memes we’ve shared with eachother. I get a rush of happiness when i see his name on my notifications, wondering what he just said. his personality is amazing as well. we have a similar sense of humor, and even talking to him IRL is amazing. he’s funny too, and thinks im funny which is always a little ego boost. he’s constantly on my mind, and i want to know what he’s up to. 2. personality and values. i mentioned personality a little before, but it truly is one of the main reasons i clicked with him so fast. its strange to say, but it felt like i was catching up with an old friend, like we’d known each other for so much longer. a persons values are also important to me, and making sure that they align has always been a priority. and they do!! he’s such a caring person, and has not been afraid to be vulnerable/emotional with me. this is something extremely important to me, and i am also very emotional and do not like if people connect being emotionally vulnerable with negativity/weakness. we went to go see eeaao together, and he cried while watching which was a relief (LOL). i wanted to test values that may interfere with our future. if we are fortunate enough to grow older together and have our own children, i do not want to raise them with a parent that will see their emotions as weak, because thats how I was raised and it didn’t turn out so good. overall, he’s an amazing person, and i feel so fortunate to have met him the way i did. thing happen for a good reason. i may not believe in god, but i feel like this was a higher power move. maybe this means I should probably start going to church. 3. he's beautiful!! I like reminding him of this each time I look at him and smile. He replies “no” a lot which makes me a little sad. How can someone so beautiful deny their own gorgeous presence. I understand many people say physical looks shouldn't matter, but I think it def helps to have some eye candy. His beautiful face, body, personality embodies warmth. A sweet type of warmth you only feel after leaving a cold room. A spring-like warmth that doesn't blind your eyes, and feels like kisses all over the body. Looking into his eyes is mesmerizing, and I feel like my belly melts every time we look at each other for long periods of times. His smile, lips, teeth, and laugh make me gush every time I look at them. He told me I was the first to compliment his tooth gap, and the first to hand him his glasses when we’re intimate. a song that reminds me of him is “cocoon’ by Bjork. im not sure how someone so perfect has been roaming in a neighboring city this whole time. but im so glad that I decided to go with downloading the app and having my friend help me with setting it up. otherwise, im not exactly sure what I would be doing. I know I would probably not be looking to date and just “focusing” on the next chapter of my life. but damn does having someone by my side make things 100% better. I am so in love with this boy that it is almost scary. I haven't felt this way about anybody In a long time. the scariness doesn't come from fear, but from awe that I finally have somebody I can give all my love to. My previous partners were all helpful in their own ways, but I never really felt in love with them (with the exception of one) in my adult life. sure there is always the fear that things may end one day, but I feel certain that even if things do not go as we hoped for, the love I am currently feeling can be seen as a happy, positive time in my life.

Looking back at the timeline, its like things were perfectly timed out. in 2022, I was feeling the loneliness after graduating from undergrad. I was hurting from the betrayal of my mother and overall reflection of how I was treated as a child. I started therapy in august that year with an actual, good therapist. something I had discussed with my previous therapist was “putting myself out there” which. terrified me at the time. I ended things with her because I felt as we were going no where, and I was right. I've worked on so many things with my current therapist and it has greatly helped improve my quality of life.

Here are some of the things that Im looking fwd to in 2023:

- starting graduate school. AH! scary! 3 year program

- growing at work. I recently got a raise which is amazinnn

- seeing my good friends again. haven't planned anything but I just have positive intentions LOL

- more memories and growing with my boyfriend. our half year will be 8/26, and 1 year on 2/26/24. how sweet ~U~

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publicprocessingbemethang-blog · 2 years

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BITCH

The first night pop up with me Unc went super well! There was drama, as always but I’m tryna develop a mantra

Yo! Tell me why I cuddled with a king tonight 😭

Feeling touchy off them boomers

He was just being nice , but like I see why his soul mate must be a catch cause baby! He was wearing essential oils and smelled like peppermint and pine. He got strong hands from construction work. His thighs are strong and thick and he be spreading them.

His deep voice rumbles through my body

I was really trying not to be attracted to this man. But when he intertwined our legs I was hooked.

At first we were laying on Unc’s beanbag and wasn’t very close. We were vibing with all the Black beauties and just smoking. A lot of me today was telling myself I deserve joy and nice things. I deserve to be in slave with beautiful BIPOC QTs. I deserve developing friendships that push me to be a better me. I deserve a pack! Anyway..He pulled away at first and I got in my head, he was crossed. I was thinking then, do not touch this man, do not look at this man.

But he fine as fuck and we have the same moon 🌙. Anyways… when folks began to leave Unc asked me if I wanted to be be on the futon. And this man gonna say yes, we can move. Bitch! We?!

I was still tryna play it cool. But at this point I desperately wanted to cuddle with him. I was holding out strong cause um, I didn’t want to get judged. And he way out my league. And talks about his desires to bag a baddie and I am not (yet) 😭. But babyyyy, let a fine nigga share a blanket with you and you tell me you’d stay strong and AWAY! Cause niggas like that? Fine, nice, sweet, divine masculine… a lover… dangerous cause you know they already in love with someone just as attractive and magical. Also, we working together now. And he not my type… I’m a lie, before tonight I was thinking…well since I met him… nigga you the type everybody be tryna manifest! Like I initially told myself to stay away cause if I connected a lil to close to his ass, I’d want to have his kids. No cap. I’d be begging for the dick and my insecurities would cause an unhealthy obsession. Plus we already know how that story ends. Plus he all healthy and shit and I am not there yet.

Let me back up, when we was in the car going from some spot to the next. I told him I liked him or something and idk but he asked if I wanted to talk about it. I screamed no. Some point in the night I defs told him I dislike him because I like him so much. He laughed. This nigga.

After the party on the way back to the crib, which I too eagerly encouraged him to come back to… he told me kind things about me. About how I was genuine and a sweetheart. I am so angry. 😂

I was holding out. But I told him in the car I was on boomers and it hit him when we were on the futon. He was concerned and wanted to make sure I was okay. Up until that point our arms were barely touch but I scooted closer. First relapse 😂. Then he put his legs in mine. And he runs WARM. And it was cold in the basement. And he had on a wifebeater. And is so damn fit and strong. Still though I was like bitch don’t get too comfortable. There was some moving around and he was always hogging the blanket we were sharing. I would be like, why you holding all the blanket?!?!!! And he replied with, do you want more? You could ask. And , that turned me on. Sometimes he be giving me commands…little shit, playful… like today he told me to get my ass in his car. Um, yes daddy 👅. Jk jk.

Idk at some point I was just too high and enough ppl had left. And craving touch made my body pulse and the house music was good. And this Nigga…is a god damn model. And so nice 😩. We had laid side by side long enough! I just inched closer and so did he. I told him how I liked to lay on my ex’s ribs because he ran hot and I like when I can touch areas of vulnerability. The ribs, the sides, the back.

I just broke down and said I wanna cuddle. He opened his arms for me and at first I laidy head on his chest with my arms to my sides. His heart beat! I’ve missed laying on a nigga’s chest for so long…

Then I wrapped my arm around his waist and held on and he would rub my shoulders and then squeeze me tight. And I tried to match my breathing to his. I got too comfortable at this point. And pulled closer, put my nose in his neck and just smelled and squeezed.

And he would just be talking to folks and smoking and it was heaven. He went up to go to the bathroom at some point and when he came back and said he was leaving soon. I wanted to outstretch my arms so bad and ask him to come lay back down. When he said he knew his ex missed his heat and cuddles… bitch! Duh?! He don’t want to be lay on a Nigga chest and be held and squeezed?

He was gonna okay a couple rounds of video games before he left and just sat up on the futon to play. I was laying there under the blanket like bitch don’t say shit. But the whole time I was thinking, “come back 😩” and it was like he heard me! He lays down, chest and legs open for me to come back into them. And when I did, I slide down so my cheek was pressed agains his side, my arm wrapped around his stomach and hip. Bitch! I held on for dear life. He fixed the blankets on me, and then played the video game resting his arms across my back and shoulders. The weight of his strong ass arms pushed me deeper into his lap. I was in so much bliss. I began to relax more and have deep slow breaths. Just feeling his voice vibrate.

He would rub my shoulders every now and then and didn’t go too far down my back. I felt the thought that he was doing this out of pity or to get me to advocate to him to the baddies at the party. He was just being nice. So nice. And string. And handsome.

I felt so safe, fantasy and yearning ms come true. At one point he mentioned having work tomorrow and I began to pull away and he pulled me back up under him. Nutted.

He kept saying he could give me a ride home but I was planning to sleep there. But fuck that I was gonna let this man give me a ride just to see them thick thighs spread open. I was secretly hoping he would ask me if I wanted to sleep in his arms. But no no no. I don’t want that. Plus when we got in the car he was asking me what I thought about lust vs. getting to know someone. I said lust has a place in relationships. He talked again about wanting to fuck baddies and just have a causal friends with benefits thing. I told him he deserves that and is fine enough to bag anyone. Which is too true.

We talked as friends which made my heart sing and ache. And plus he likes all the poly baddies dating my friends 😭.

He was telling me more about his ex. God bless them, lucky ass. Apparently they just in family situations that pull them a part. I hope they get together one day, maybe soon. So yea he fine, a player, and heart is taken.

I’m sad now though cause I must have cut him off or something because he got very short with me. Very, strictly friends that work together. It was after I told him I tell all my really attractive friends I won’t overly sexualize him. He said he knew but I insisted I wanted it to be said out loud.

You just don’t get it. All day when we were chilling he would find ways to touch me playfully and scream out loud “over stimulation”. Unc called me out about my energy being “stop playing with me before k get serious”. My face tells on me. Everyone laughed at me when I denied anything.

I missed his first set because I was anxious smoking cigs in the back. I feel bad about it not just because I was there to hear him practice but because he plays this one song that reminds him of his ex but now he also calls my song because it talks about loving, wanting, and missing someone. He said, “you missed it when I played your song” IM SORRY BABY 😭

No. Not baby! Ugh! We held hands at one point… danced together at some points. At first whenever he would get to close with his sexy ass, I would back up. But the boomers and liq and weed made me crave him and always wonder when he would be back on the dance floor. He also told me tonight that I was a good dancer 😭. But he also wouldn’t juke on me.

Anyways I also want to talk about some of the coolest queer black artist were their and they were so nice to me. Had a lovely convo with one of MN’s biggest pop stars. She does techno pop and dressed up as a cyborg. She gave me the time of day and I gave her affirmations and she hugged me! I told her I was gonna write about her.

Then I ran into this famous black queer man who is aesthetics and femme on Instagram. But I couldn’t remember his name so when I was giving him crazy praise asked me what’s his name and I couldn’t remember! So I said let me look you up a Instagram and then I was too lit to do that so I said type in your name! And he did and I followed him so that was cool but awkward…

My friends really came through too and put up with my crazy ass.

Tonight was one of the best nights of my life. Me sibling didn’t roll through but we trapped together today and he helped me out a lot. And we ate good vegan food with my old Professor and they connected. And and and so much was good today! Omg I just forgot it was Friday and I had class and did well and took the bus to SH and then walked a bit then ate that vegan food. Then saw my mentor and got to pick up the speakers with lights in them. And ugh! It was just a great night. At the end me n all these cuties I will be organizing more pop ups with linked arms in a circle and just moved our hips in sync. It was in some sense 8 shit. Unc even joined at one point. I feel cool. I feel sexy. I feel queer and valid and joyful and beautiful and good enough to be desired. Worthy of people I find attractive finding me attractive as well.

Ugh all in all amazing! Movie worthy. Next time I see that man I am keeping my distance!

#journal #diary #I’m gushing #I feel lucky #won’t get hooked on that #see it was something special

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havin-a-wee · 3 years

Text

If Only She Knew

pairing: dad!harry x cheerleader!reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings: smut (fingering + unprotected sex), cheerleading position implies readers weight, 20 year age gap

hi! ive been having some really bad writers block but i wrote this and even though its def not my best work i like it enough to post it :) also, i totally didn't mean to imply the readers weight, i only realized afterwards, so im really sorry about that. also the age gap is kinda big, so if ur uncomfy with that you shouldn't read this <3

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

“Geez watch where you’re going!”

You don’t even look up at the girl, recognizing her nasally voice easily from how annoying it is. You were nose deep in a book while walking down the school hallway, and of course your worst enemy had to be walking down the same hallway, at the same time, in the opposite direction. You are both at fault for the collision, considering Ella had her eyes locked on her instagram feed. But knowing the girl, there is no way in hell that she will take any responsibility, even though you are the one who has coffee dripping down the front of your white blouse.

Since middle school, Ella Styles has always hated you. You have never known why, but she seems to have a vendetta against you, and tries her best to make your life miserable. You never let her, always refraining from giving her the explosive reaction that she was looking for. And that makes her hate you even more.

High school is over in 2 months, and although you are going to miss the freedom of being a child, you most definitely won’t miss the people from the tiny town you’ve lived in since you were young. You’ve always been the type of person to have a small friend group, only 4 people in your circle. But that’s how you like it, because crippling social anxiety makes it difficult for you to meet new people.

“I- sorry.” You still don’t look at her, instead peeling the soaking wet top off of your stomach.

“You better be sorry.” She flips her blonde hair, ensuring that the fluffy locks hit you right in the face. You are lucky this time seeing as she didn’t take it further, because sometimes she would purposely embarrass you after small incidents such as this one.

Tears well at your waterline and you run into the nearest bathroom, pushing open the blue door and locking yourself in a stall.

After all these years of torment, Ella rarely was able to get to you. But sometimes, she does something that pushes you off the edge, leaving you with red, tear-stained cheeks. The final straw this time was her ruining your brand new shirt, the one you were anxiously waiting to debut at school.

But now there was coffee dripping down your chest and staining the bright white fabric. Your only saving grace is the cheerleading uniform in your backpack. In fact, you were walking to the locker room to change for practice, and then for the game at 6 tonight.

You had been excited for the game, knowing that Friday night games always led to parties and fun afterwards. You rarely go to parties of course, but the buzzing energy never fails to rub off on you. But now that stupid Ella had to go and mess up your day, you’re dreading seeing her smug face while she asserts her dominance as cheer captain.

You untie your top and rip it off in a haste, frustrated tears running down your face periodically. You could’ve put a jacket on and gone to the locker room, but Ella would be going there soon, and the last thing you want to do is run into her with teary eyes. She can’t know that you let her get to you.

You brush your hands down your uniform, pulling down the skimpy costume and stuffing your old clothes in your backpack. Once out of the stall, you pull your hair up into a high ponytail, reapply your lip gloss and walk back into the hallway, having already done your makeup that morning. You’re happy that it’s a home game today, because the home game uniforms are two pieces and the skirts are smaller than the ones on the away game uniforms. There is a certain someone you are looking to impress, and the way your tits spill out from the top of the outfit will most certainly help you in your mission.

It’s not like you need to impress him, because he’s shown time and time again that he finds you sexy no matter what you wear. And when he doesn’t tell you, he shows you, by pressing his hard on up against your ass after you just woke up, despite your messy hair and bare face.

However, he also loves when you tease him. And that’s exactly what you’re planning to do.

You sling your heavy backpack over one shoulder and trudge down the hallway, the old fluorescent lights practically blinding you on your journey. The locker room is dingy, smelling of cheap soap and Victoria’s Secret perfume. At least it doesn’t smell like the boys locker room, which smells like sweat and more sweat.

It's already bustling with people, your teammates scrambling to get ready in time as to not get yelled at by the coach.

“Y/N!” The familiar shout of your best friend Rose is like a breath of fresh air, and you bound over to her. She’s standing in front of your lockers, the two of you obviously picking ones next to each other. “Wait, why are you already changed?”

“The bitch spilled her coffee all over me,” you grumbled, your eyes shifting over to where Ella and her little goons are giggling.

“I keep telling you, anytime you want me to beat her up I will gladly do it.”

“Not that I doubt your abilities Rose, because I know you would have her on the ground in a heartbeat, but I can’t let you do that. She can’t know that she upsets me.” You lower your voice for the second sentence, irrationally fearing that she can hear you over the loud chatter echoing through the room.

“I still think you should let me beat her up, but you do you I guess.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her locker, bursting out into laughter with you after a beat of silence.

The rest of the getting ready process goes smoothly, Rose distracting you from the girl side-eyeing you in the corner. Soon enough, the whole squad was in formation outside, and you have your hands on the shoulders of Rose and another girl named Bethany. You are a flyer, meaning that you’re the one who the bases support while you pose and flip in the air. Its a hard job, but you are one of only three girls on the team who is advanced enough at flying to be safe doing it in routines. One of the other three girls is Ella.

Ella is the flyer for the middle group, seeing as she is the captain. You are on the right and the other group is on the left. Luckily, Rose is a base in your group, so you feel a lot better putting your safety in the hands of someone you already trust with your life.

“ELLA! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Coach Habbiths voice is piercing, her angry shrieks bouncing off your ear drums. Ella audibly huffs, displaying her frustration with the critiques she has been receiving since we learned the routine weeks ago. That’s one of the biggest problems with Ella, she believes that she's always right.

Every single practice she has done a needle instead of a scale at the end of the routine. It's aggravating for everyone, and that frustration is amplified everytime she makes the same mistake over and over. “Alright, everyone down. group 1 and group 3 take five, Ella and group 2 stay on the field.

The team obliged to her instructions, and you are brought down from the air.

“Okay Ella, I want you to watch how Y/N does the last move, because she’s actually doing it correctly.” Coach is standing in front of you now, and she emphasized the word ‘correctly’. This is much to Ella’s dismay, and much to your excitement.

Nothing brings you more joy than seeing Ella’s face when you one up her, and this time is no exception.

Aside from a few eye rolls and nasty looks, Ella corrects the move without much fuss. By now there's 15 minutes until the game, and the players have been warming up on the field for about half an hour.

“Did you see her face!” Rose tugs on your arm while you walk back to the locker room, water bottles in hand.

“I know! I should’ve taken a picture!”

“We can only hope that it knocked her ego down a peg.”

“I doubt it” Rose nodded in agreement and you continued your chatter, talking about the random things that best friends talk about.

“It’s go time ladies!” You jumped in surprise when Coach Habbiths yelling booms through the locker room, the hefty amount of metal in the room enhancing the echo.

In a blur, your entire team rushed out onto the field, the crisp air cooling your warmed skin. There was a huge crowd. probably the biggest the teams ever had. But that makes sense, because this game was against your school's biggest rival. Luckily, despite the huge crowd you were able to lock eyes with those piercing green irises you have gotten to know so well over the past couple months. Everytime you see him he gets more and more attractive, and this time is no exception.

At this point, the teams routine is muscle memory and you’re done with it before you can blink. Most people would think that being thrown in the air is memorable, but your main concern is the growing wet patch on your panties that spreads each time you squeeze your thighs together. Just the thought of the man is enough to turn you on, and now that you’re sitting on the cold metal bench your imagination has time to go wild.

The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the eruption of appaulause from the audience, and the realization that the other cheerleaders were standing up and running towards the players. You breath out a sigh of relief, recognizing the cheering as a signal that the game has ended.

“Hey, you coming?” Rose tugs on your arm, looking down at you still on the bench.

“Um, actually I don’t feel so well, I think I’m going to go home.”

“I should’ve known. You know, one day you’re going to have to go to a party.” Rose places her hands on her hips, giving you a sarcastically annoyed stare.

“And today is not that day.” You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, turning back to Rose for a second. “Have fun and be safe.”

“I always do.” Rose places a chaste kiss on your cheek before turning back to the gathering crowd on the turf.

Instead of heading to the sidewalk and walking home, you duck under the bleachers and walk down the gravel path, pushing open the fence that separates the field and the school. The contents of your backpack slosh around while you sway your hips as you walk. Finally, you make it to the back wall of the school, leaning your back against it and plopping your heavy backpack down by your feet.

And now you wait.

Much to your convenience, the wait this time isn’t long, only five minutes passing before you see the familiar man following the same path you did earlier.

He has a pair of brown slacks on, pressing against his waist courtesy of his black belt. A button up white shirt hides the tattoos on his stomach, but he's rolling up his sleeves as he walks over to you. He's walking with intention, hungry eyes zeroed in on you.

When he’s only steps away, you cheekily bite your lip and use your finger to push up your skirt a little bit more.

Your actions have the intended effect, his eyes blowing wide and hands grasping at your waist.

“Y’can’t do that.”

Before you have a chance to ask what he means, his lips collide with yours, his tongue slipping in only moments after the initial kiss. But as soon as he started, he pulls away.

“Y’can’t be teasing me on the field like tha’, had me hard next t’my friends.” His hand is on the wall above your head, and his other arm is wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest. He’s panting, and you are too.

“Sorry Mr. Styles,” you push your bottom lip out in a pout, giving him the most innocent look possible. “Just wanted to wear it cause I know how much you like it.”

“Aw, my babygirl wore this f’me? Well I guess y’can be forgiven. Now let’s get t’my house before I fuck yeh right on this wall.” He places a soft kiss to your lips picking up your backpack from the floor and turning to the direction of his car.

“But it hurts!” He turns around again, giving you a sympathetic look and caressing your cheek. The rings on his fingers are cold, but you’re used to the feeling.

“I know sweet girl, but I can’t take care of yeh here, s’too risky.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of a solution to your not so little problem. “How bout I give y’my fingers in the car? Hows that sound hm?” You nod eagerly, pulling his hand down from your cheek and holding it. He takes the signal and begins walking to his car while you follow him.

You never planned to sleep with your bullies dad. But a few months ago your parents dragged you to a family friends housewarming party, and that friend happened to be a friend of Harry’s too. There were no other teenagers there, so your focus was on the attractive older man who had been checking you out since you first locked eyes, and after ending up in the upstairs bathroom together the two of you have been fucking at least twice a week. You only learned that he’s a dad when you saw him for the first time outside the party. He didn’t look the part, and you actually thought he was in his 20s until he corrected you. He’s 38, having become a parent at only 20 years old. Your relationship is a bit taboo, but you’re a mature 18 year old and you and Harry get along well. So well that your time together has developed from casual sex to a mutually exclusive relationship. (Neither of you like labels, but you’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend).

He makes you really happy, and when you have to face off against Ella, it helps knowing that you have power over her, even though she doesn’t know it.

“Did she do anything today?” Harry is walking beside you, hands still intertwined.

“Besides spilling coffee on my shirt, nothing much.” Harry sighs in frustration and squeezes your hand as a show of affection.

“M’so sorry, I wish y’didn’t ‘ave to deal with her.”

The thing about Harry and Ella is they can barely be considered family. Ella’s mom is, for lack of a better word, a bitch. She’s snobby, conceited, and rude, and those behaviors have rubbed off on Ella. Another thing that rubbed off on her was her mom’s hatred for Harry. Being young parents put strain on their already struggling relationship, and they split before Ella’s first birthday. Harry said he tried his best to make it work for Ella’s sake, but her mom was looking for someone to pay for her life, and Harry had just started working his way up as a businessman.

Now, he’s a CEO, but luckily Ella’s mom already found a new beau with plenty of money, so she didn’t come crawling back to him. However, the success Harry achieved only a few years after their breakup made her jealous, and so she instilled that anger in their daughter. So currently Ella spends most of her time with her mother, and when she is with Harry she doesn’t treat him kindly.

“It’s not your fault Harry, you don’t have to apologize for her actions.”

“I know, I jus’ hate tha’ she treats yeh like that.” He sighs again, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys. In a few more steps you’re standing outside the sleek black suv, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding in once you hear the click of the door unlocking.

You both take a few seconds to breathe, an unspoken gesture to prepare for the night's events. Harry turns to you, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. “What d’ya think about fixin’ that ache darlin?” You nod eagerly, sliding down a bit in your seat to give your legs room to spread. “Think yeh can take off y’skirt fo’me?” Your head bobs once again as you nod, hooking your fingers under the elastic waistband and shimmying out of the skirt. While you’re doing that, Harry turns the car into the deserted street, using only one hand to steer.

You toss the tiny skirt into his lap, giving him a signal without distracting his eyes from the road. He reacts immediately, his free hand coming down to squeeze your thigh. You mewl at the contact and bite down on your lip, trying to stop your hips from bucking up in search of relief. His squeezes move up your thigh, and finally his fingers press against your weeping cunt. Swiftly, he pushes your soiled panties to the side, swiping his fingers up your folds collecting your juices. You shriek and buck your hips up into his hand, but much to your dismay he removes it from between your thighs. The car comes to a stop at a red light, and Harry takes the moment to look at you, his eyes wandering your squirming body. He’s practically drooling when he places his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweet wetness.

“Sorry pup, jus’ needed t’taste yeh.” He chuckles again, and you whine softly in desperation. In one quick motion, he dives his hand back to your pussy, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit.

“Fuck!” The pleasure shoots up your spine, goosebumps raising across your body as he rubs circles on the puffy button. “Harry- please,”

“What d’ya want puppy? Want m’fingers?”

“Yes, yes,” you breathe out, words barely comprehensible through your panting.

“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” And with that his two fingers press into you, filling your tight hole perfectly. There is no hesitation before he begins pumping the digits in and out of you and his thumb never lets up on your bundle of nerves. “Such a needy puppy, got yeh soaking f’me from out in the stands hm?” His eyes are still on the road, but you can picture the lust filled eyes that are undoubtedly on his face.

“Get so wet jus- just thinkin’ about you,” you gasp, writhing as his fingers slam in and out of you.

“Yeah? This is my cunt, m’the only one who can make yeh this wet, isn’t tha’ right?”

“Only Harry.” At your confirmation he speeds his hand up, your vision clouding with white spots as the knot building in your stomach grows tighter and tighter.

All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. “Wha-” You begin to question him but you realize that he’s pulling into his driveway. Instead of complaining, you sit up quickly and unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling your skirt back up your legs to avoid being nude on his front lawn.

As soon as you feel the little jolt your hand yanks on the handle and you hop out of the car. Your brain is fuzzy with need and all you are focused on is alleviating the aching between your thighs. You hear Harry lock the car while you're on the steps, and you turn back to ensure that he’s behind you. And sure enough, he’s hot on your trail, just as eager as you to get inside and onto his bed. Your foot is tapping on the ground anxiously, waiting for Harry to unlock the front door. After what seems like an hour, he is next to you again, fumbling with the silver keychain in his hand, eventually unlocking and pushing open the door. You both practically run inside, hands roaming each other's bodies and lips locking as you shuffle through the hall.

You disconnect breathlessly when you reach the stairs, subconsciously wrapping your hands around Harry’s neck so he can pick you up bridal style. He does so hastily, barely a second passing before he’s plopping you onto the fluffy mattress. “Finally,” he pants, hands fumbling with his belt buckle. There’s a prominent bulge in his trousers, and although you’ve seen it plenty, you are always in awe at how thick and big he is. While he’s busy removing his clothes, you are practically drooling at the sight of his bare cock, full, heavy, and dripping precome.

“Harry?”

He looks back down at you with his emerald green eyes, simultaneously dropping his recently-removed shirt on the floor. “Can I ride you?” The look he gives you is indescribable, a mixture of need, lust, cockiness, and beauty all rolled up into one.

“Whatever y’want puppy,” His hands scoop under your ass, and he lifts you up and switches your positions. Now it’s your turn to undress, and Harry makes himself busy by running his hands up and down your torso. “So gorgeous, y’know that?” You nod quickly then pull your shirt off of your head. “Most beautiful girl in the world I reckon.” You blush at the compliment, butterflies being added to the many sensations occuring in your body. You straddle his thighs, wrapping your hand around his length and tugging a few times. A loud groan rumbles through his throat, and you smile knowing you’re the one who made him feel like that. “Thought- thought yeh said y’wanted to ride me pup.”

“I do.” You keep your hand on his cock, sitting up on your knees and lining him up with your weeping cunt. All at once, your body is put at ease as his cock fills you up perfectly. He bottoms out inside of you, both of you moaning and groaning while you adjust. “So big-” Your words come out in choppy pants, the syllables being cut off by your heaves. You suck in one deep breath and move upwards, sinking back down onto him quickly. His large hands hold a tight grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his member. His lips attach to your neck, suckling on the supple skin just enough so that it doesn’t bruise.

“What a dirty little puppy you are,” he growls, eyes focusing heavily on where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside of you as you bounce up and down on his cock.

“Feel so full-” Tingles ricochet down every part of your body, and your legs are becoming weaker with each movement. Harry can feel your movement faltering, so his hips thrust upwards to meet yours, fucking you from underneath. “Harry!”

“I know pup, I know.” His thumb strokes your cheek and he leans in for another kiss, devouring your plump lips and swirling his tongue around yours. “So fuckin tight,” The words tumble from his mouth in a low growl, which sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. His cock twitches inside of you, encouraging you to muster all your energy and finish both of you off. Adrenaline kicks in and your strength returns, riding him faster and harder than before. “Let go f’me Y/N.” It only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone, Harry’s orgasm following suit. The waves of pleasure roll through your body, and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you allow the feeling to overcome your body. Spurts of his hot cum cover your velvety walls and you ride out your orgasms together, resting your foreheads against one another.

You end up sleeping at his house, feeling safe knowing that Ella is staying with her mom today. It’s normal for you to sleep at his place, seeing as both of you are usually so tired that you pass out before you can leave. What isn’t normal is for you to be woken up in the morning by Harry’s phone ringing. Harry is a deep sleeper, and you laugh at the sight of him conked out while his ringtone blares on the nightstand just a few inches away. Carefully, you reach over his sleeping body and grab the phone, planning on hanging it up and going back to bed. However, when you saw that it was Ella calling, you changed your mind. Making a split second decision, you slide the icon to the right, holding it up to your ear.

“Hello?” Her whiney voice rings through your eardrum and you wince. Not the nicest thing to be woken up to.

“Hello,” you answer, your voice not reflecting the cocky grin that spread across your face.

“Who the hell is this!” she shrieks, and you make a mental note that she must not be a morning person.

“A friend of your dads.” Your response is once again calm and monotone, trying to stifle the laugh that is bubbling in your throat.

“Ugh! What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”

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