#also adhd brain makes me forget time passes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fandomhype · 3 months

Text

Plagiarism Somerton

I obviously didn't watch the new James Somerton apology video ON his channel because I did not want to give that man the views and you shouldn't either! It has been re-uploaded and summarised elsewhere so that he doesn't benefit if anyone wants to see it.

The original hbomberguy video was wild to me because of all the stealing, I found it highly entertaining, loved all the Memes and it honestly did my imposter syndrome wonders! but then I watched the Todd in the shadows video and it really upset me.

He didn't just steal from other LGBT creators he lied to his mostly young LGBT audiance who were looking to an elder gay for guidance and to learn about their history.

Todd's video starts with a clip of James lies being spread by another person on a podcast, there's clips of people discussing his made up gay nazi fanfic he has presented as hard facts. He actively harmed his own community for cash! There are young gay men bringing that subject up in conversation being laughed at for falling for it and that leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.

Now I'm not a part of that community but a lot of people I love are so that angered me a lot.

...and then he comes back with another apology video, conveniently within the three months he would have had to post something on his channel to retain his monetisation status weirdly?! In which he blames both a head injury and his ADHD for his theft - at no point does he address the lying in either apology video or any of the apology posts he made that I could find.

I have combined ADHD, when I was first diagnosed the NHS referred to it as ADD with Hyperactivity element but everyone seems to have gone back to calling it ADHD and that is the term used most commonly online so that is what I refer to it is as.

I am medicated but there has been a world wide shortage of my medication and I was without it for some time over winter, which was HELL! I got nothing done.

I am in no way a big creator, Youtube for me is a fun wee hobby that will hopefully grow and allow me to collaborate with other people with similar interests but ADHD is for sure a large part of my journey as a creator.

I've published like 7 videos and currently have around 10 being worked on because, you know... ADHD! *siren noises*

I know that I am forgetful sometimes, just for the record I also had several head injuries and concussions as a child because Lil undiagnosed at the time me truly had no fear of climbing or other dangerous activities so I have my script (because free talking a subject with this brain would be nearly impossible) open in one google doc and my research open in another. It's not hard.

That's the way it was at school, college and Uni too. James claims he went to Uni to do business. Every university uses anti-plagerism software for essays and has done since like the mid 2000's? so he knows not to copy pasta. He's straight up lying there.

Another thing he's lying about is his ADHD making him forget he copied things. Now if you tell me a joke that I like it'll stick in my head and I will straight up tell it as my own later, I've been called out for this many times! But entire articles? whole sections of other peoples videos? (he also flipped a fan Vid he had ripped off of another YouTube to avoid detection and tried to pass it off as his own) No that's not something you can accidentally do even with a swiss cheese brain like mine.

Weirdly all the the paragraphs James claims he accidentally copied were also edited to remove aspects of the Trans, Bi and Ace experiences that James markedly does not believe exist. Strange considering he accidentally copied them and assumed they were his own words? Imagine going back through a paragraph you think you wrote yesterday in the edit the next day and finding swarths of things you don't agree with there?!

Why am I telling you all this? Well because I wanted to put my two cents in as a creator with this condition, partly because I felt it was somewhat of an attack on us!? He's put it out there that ADHD creators are liable to steal from others and that's not ok by me. Also I just really like the sound of my own typing!

TL;DR : James Sommerton is a suck ass liar and he doesn't get to use his disability as an excuse for what he did! and...

****** ADHD DOES NOT MAKE YOU STEAL SHIT!!! ******

Also watch Todd's Vid, everyone saw the Hbomberguy one but this one goes deeper:

youtube

#james somerton #actually adhd #james sommerton #hbomberguy

52 notes · View notes

lefluoritesys · 8 months

Text

Deinfluencing DID? Cool

TW: injuries, dissociative seizures, fainting, general health problems, medication, abuse, forced switches, religion, burdning things down, mentions of rape

Our room is a mess, dirty laundry everywhere, clothes are not hanged up and thrown on our bed, we haven’t cleaned our table, and barely ever vacuum or clean anything else. Why? Nobody wants to do it, plus we have ADHD that's interfering eith daily tasks as usual.

Our host forgot to tell our partner system they sprained our wrist. They sprained it January 30th. Told them, by accident, on July 11th.

Speaking of sprained limbs. Our co-host & persecutor-caretaker sprained our foot because they were stupid and weren't looking at where they're going. Resulted in missing a step on the stairs. They got a yelling lecture from our host (very loving lecture), and what did they do? Called the thing we had to wear on our leg "foot prison." Nothing else.

We got sick... I wanna say 2 days ago (memory issues). How did we do that? I don't know. What are we gonna do about it? Idfk, why are you asking me, we have like one medicine we take, but other than that-

Whenever people tell us that we're a minor and shouldn't be researching/reading stuff involving sexual topics, our sexual alters' immediate response to it is "if they wanted us to act like a child, they shouldn't have let us get raped when we were 4."

We suspect we have dissociative seizures. When things around us are overwhelming, we can very well just faint. Still conscious but unable to move or speak. Everything we hear during it will be forgotten. And those of us who are not host and co-host can faint because simply being in the body for too long is overwhelming.

We forget to take our meds that prevent us from fainting fully. Teenage thing, but our blood pressure drops unexpectedly, and we might pass out. Does the threat of literally dropping in the middle of the day, for which we had previously gotten admitted to the hospital, work? No. It's not happening rn, so-

Outer world is being run by 5-6 people (alters) who are not equipped for the outer world shit. Dealing with parents? No. School? So-so. Basic biological needs? Who needs those, am I right? /j

A while ago, we found a spider near our room, and we are all, collectively, terrified of spiders. Who did we push to front to deal with it? Our co-host, who hates/is scared of them more than all of us combined.

We have a factive of our mother in the system who fused with a Ballora fragment. Like, yk, the person who potentially abused us most in our lives is their source. She's currently in inner world therapy and is actively getting better. And we are learning to separate her from her source.

When we first figured out we were a system, our host was so stuck and so determined to find out more about our alters, we had to force switches to happen, and for a while thought we were actually faking. I'm aware that that's exactly what DID/OSDD is supposed to make you feel like, but others literally could not front sometimes without being physically forced out. Moreover, we didn't even know how switches were supposed to feel. Everything felt fake. How did we accept it? Pushed through (quite literally) and focused more on the exciting parts of it, rather than sad.

Speaking of first figuring our about our DID, we filmed many videos of our switches when we felt them coming, and alters introducing themselves via filming. We are now looking at them and both cringing and feeling nostalgic.

We still sometimes want to be a smaller system because it feels like it would have been simpler, and we would love to have all members of the system get along. But we also know our brain created us the way it did for our survival, and our nostalgia about "simpler days when we only knew 4 people" is a romantization. This is the first time we have actually had a semi-stable environment in 2 years.

The only one who celebrates the body's birthday is our host. Everybody else has their own birthdays either from source or made-up. We still celebrate them. Today (September 14th) is, in fact, one of our alters' birthday.

Our host and co-host have a child-parent relationship (respectively). A while ago, they were in co-con, listening to a song. Our co-host was holding our host to their arms in front piggyback style, was hugging them and rocking them back and forth. Why? For comfort. Because they're family.

Are we all collectively doing schoolwork? Nope, lmao. Doesn't work for us like that, we simply don't have memories of most things we studied since like 4th grade, can't get them either. Our host used to do all the schoolwork, but they got so much trauma from school and homework that now our co-host is in charge of it. And only them unless it's Japanese. And even then, it's a big maybe. Nobody wants to, so we created a schedule that works for us and our switches when it comes to studying.

Did I just have to look up where I was going on the metro because I realized I have no memories of it other than autopilot, and I am doubting whether I wanna leave on the right station? Yes. Yes, I did. Am I gonna be fronting when I reach the destination? Nope.

A while ago we burned down an inner world kingdom. Why? Idk, we just didn't like it. Who cares anyway?

One of our prosecutors bought premium on one of the apps we use, and they didn't get in trouble for it only because our host liked it. We're still using it to this day.

We have a system quote book.

Everybody in this system is pagan. I might be the only one not, and even that's a big maybe.

We really wanna watch Elemental but can never get around to it. Also, Nimona, although we have a good reason to postpone watching it.

We haven’t brushed our teeth in 2 weeks. Did yesterday like once. When's gonna be the next time? Who knows? :D Hygiene issues are real.

On Halloween, we're probably gonna watch FNaF Ruin the entire evening-night with our sibling.

Our ex-host is so unhinged that we have to watch them whenever they front like a hawk.

We are not a perfect system. Any blog you see, no matter how real it seems, doesn't reflect day-to-day experiences systems have. Most posts, generally, are made with strong emotions in mind, or for aesthetic purposes, or for venting purposes. I repeat what has been said before a million times: don't trust everything you see on the internet. People are real, but they are not going to let you know anything personal about them.

Honestly? Not sure why I wanted to make this post. Not gonna give you a reason either because I don't know it.

I am currently going to get cocoa and push our co-host to study. Have a good day, y'all. ✌️

-sexual protector

#did #did system #osdd system #osdd #system #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #system stuff #system things #did osdd #osdd 1a #osdd 1b #complex dissociative identity disorder #did positivity #osdd positivity #system positivity #plural positivity #deinfluencing

66 notes · View notes

werezmastarbucks · 8 months

Text

being friends with barry allen headcanons (timeline)

you meet at the college

barry allen x reader (reaching)

long, with a plot, I liked this format hehe

you actually look for someone to help you with your ***problem***

and you notice this weird smart guy who's kinda sociable but doesn't really have a lot of friends

you hear he's somewhat of a physics and chemistry genius and is going for some kind of super scholarship for his master's

that's exactly what you need

he's happy to get a new friend and it's quite comfortable with him

it's obvious he's not very good with people as he can come off as awkward and obsessive at times

also he talks like a lot and sometimes it gets really overwhelming

however most of the times he says really smart or observant things and soon you find that appreciating him is easy

he's almost always in a good mood and would do anything to make you smile

he's sooo in his own world. you're amazed at how people around don't even scratch the surface on Barry

you share music

the two weird queers vibe

the happy, bubbly, adhd x the moody, approach me and i stab you vibe

Barry wonders why you don't like going out much and when you two talk about all these things you missed out on in your lives, it's apparent he's more accomplished than you, and he's just very sweetly curious about it

he listens to k-pop because it's fast, bright, energetic, like him

he LOVES texting about nothings

it's just beep beep beep all day long

sometimes he starts repeating the same thing and it gets insufferable

he's texting you random things that come to his mind

twice a month though he gets very serious; that's the only thing he doesn't like sharing

you kinda laugh at everybody when you get together

you name your alliance 'loser nerds'

you've no idea how much in common you actually have

he eats all the time and always finishes your food if you have a bigger portion than what you can eat

he's kinda self-aware, highly empathetic and reads people easily. he just doesn't click with them, or, rather, they don't want to click with him

he helps you with science tests

tried tutoring you - you're very unproductive together. you end up watching youtube and deciding to go get food every time

you reeeeaally like his smile, it's so child-like in a good way

he thinks that "like if you were a girl you would be really cute and intimidating, I mean, you are a girl, but not in that way, well, you understand what I mean yeah?"

i mean like if you were... a... and I was...

what I mean is you're very uh, like, your pHYsicAl bOdY...

you cut his torture short by saying you undertsnad he means you're pretty

he gets extremely nervous when you don't prepare for tests properly though

he's like, very focused and dedicated for a guy with such short attention span

has a new 'micro crush' every week and you discuss them, then he forgets about them

he is late everywhere, all of the time

couple of times he just forgets about your plans and you end up waiting for him at the station, or at the park, for an hour

he's a good friend though, he's got otherwise good memory, he is just easily distracted

he remembers important things you tell him, his brain is like a computer

totally judging people together, having the whole gatherings for discussing the tea

when you're bored you send him a message "requesting AI Barry" and Barry pretends to be an AI and messages you a bunch of physics and astronomy facts. he is really good at mimicking AI

he wouldn't pass the Turing test lol

longingly looking at your lunch

he's suspiciously strong and lean for a nerd who just exists in the college, at a coffeeshop and at home, and eats every time you lay your eyes on him

he gets very, very sad sometimes

it takes him a long time to open up about his family

he's surprisingly non-awkward and non-needy when he talks about his father. it feels like the goal of his life is to prove him innocent, and he doesn't even care what you think about it, in a good way

"I'll do it one day"

he generally comes through with his promises, if he doesn't forget

as a friend, he's most appreciative of your intelligence and wit, because he gets bored easily

he may be a bit harsh when talking about people sometimes. like when he starts whining that a line is long

he's very self-sufficient AND clingy at the same time

he looks like a person with a secret, but you can't figure out what it is

huge hugs and awkward supportive taps on the back or the stomach. he doesn't seem to know that you can touch a girl in a friendly way and not make it weird.

he calls you “moody brollerina” referring to your usual unsociable disposition. you call him “science boy”

having a secret code language consisting of shortened versions of slang words

no idea where you'd use it as nobody really gives a shit about you two

after months and months of bonding, you open up to him about the reason you approached him in the first place

you tell him that at eight years old you had had an accident after which you got the most horrible ability one could imagine

at thirteen years old you made your dad vanish during a fight. your father always hated you, your family was extremely dysfunctional; still, it's not a reason to make your own old man disappear together with a kitchen stool, right?

you discovered you had this terrifying ability to make things, and people, vanish. at first, for several years, you 'vanished' nine other people. those were only the people who scared you; the phenomenon seemed to be triggered by extreme fright and discomfort

you lived your whole life trying to come up with some explanation, you were terrified even just to live. because you had no idea where this power came from and what moment it would manifest itself again. every day you spent in terror that some banal occurrence will trigger you and you'll vanish innocent people

Barry is excited, preoccupied, astonished at what he is hearing. you do the confession in the lab, because that's the place you can most frequently find him at

you expect disappointment because, being honest, you specify that you decided to become friends with him in hopes that he'll be intelligent enough to crack this puzzle

Barry only hears "I can make people disappear"

it's a bit scary but, more importantly, "completely balooney and amazing" for him; he sees something in it immediately

but before he gets to the point, his face lights up and he says,

"you know it's funny that you chose me specifically, because..."

he tells you that he also has superabilities and demonstrates it

you stare at each other in the moment of mutual amazement

you're now the 'super loser nerds'. you can't believe you managed to find each other AND both be... super?

you don't consider yourself super, but Barry thinks otherwise

he doesn't really grasp the whole scale of the unending torture this gift brought to you; he just sees sci-fi come true

he immediately assumes you're somehow able to create black holes and control the process of closing them

he gets to work; ideas swarm his head; he gets hyperfixated on it

it's incredible to see that he thinks no less of you; even though you told him everything you've done and how some of those people you vanished, were really bad, and you actually wished them to disappear

you hadn't vanished anyone in ten years though.

now, as you even so much as shared this secret with someone, the iron grip on your mind is loosened just a little bit. it didn't hurt that Barry did not push you away but offered an alternative view

as he's building the device that may possibly help track the process, he says,

you're not just a medical miracle; you're a cosmic paradox

in the middle of building the device, he slaps himself on his face and says

goddamn I'm slow. pun intended. I can actually watch you do it, right? I can observe at superspeed

you're afraid that the experiment, should it be conducted, can go terribly wrong. you had never done it intentionally. you hadn't done it in ten years. no witnesses were ever present. it's unprecedented, awfully dangerous, impossible in your mind

for weeks Barry is forced to beg you; after all, you came to him for answers, and that would be impossible without action. so, you finally agree it's only logical

as you prepare for the experiment, you think about how Barry is the first friend you've had in years. and how the last thing you want to do now is utilize the curse of a power that's been given to you, in any vicinity of him.

you look at how he is putting on his heavy dark red costume he'd built himself and how he is actually even cooler than you thought all this time. he's actually helping people, and he is building his own equipment. he's not some forsaken freak with this demonic, haunting burden. you remember you actually read some quiet rumors on obscure websites about his existence

you don't want him standing in the room while you do this; Barry wants to step really close to the cup you're about to vanish. you argue for an hour before he finally convinces you. he begs you to trust his abilities, showering you with all these physics terms and expressions you don't understand

maybe it's fate? he asks. that we should meet and I will be the one who can actually help you

he clearly doesn't get how deep this sinkhole is; how absolutely chthonic and cosmically scary it is, when you make something vanish. without a sound, or explosions, it just suddenly disappears, never to return again

finally you agree on ten steps. you put the cup on the desk, and Barry gets to superspeed. you see blue electrical flashes engulf him

for the first time in ten years, you do it, and it's easy, like breathing. the cup disappears, and Barry is seemingly still standing on the same spot, only, now his eyes are huge

his best theory is, you do create a macro black hole. the object gets condensed so badly that its atoms begin to dissolve, but for a normal human eye it's too quick. but at his superspeed, he did see it. the cup dissipating in the air while the space around it was warping.

he looks like it's the happiest day of his life, like he's about to cry

he holds your hands, ignoring the trauma this experiment has awoken in you, but you let it slide, because he says that you, and only you, might be the answer to every question in the world. you can operate matter.

this is not about you anymore. this is about the universe

he gets to work again

he builds these multiple devices that are supposed to track the object up until the moment it vanishes through the hole. it shows the characteristic spike of radiation strictly in the spot where the vanishing occurs

single-handedly Barry turns your understanding of what you are, upside down. he says a lot of things he doesn't deem too important, but you listen to his words

he calls you quantum miracle, cosmic phenomenon, the answer to all, the space-time fairy. no one has ever called you that

at the worst days, you debate the moral complications of your power. he is trying to imagine what it's like to not technically kill people but... erasing them

he tells you about one event that weighs on him

when he was 18, right after he got his powers, he still hadn't got the whole scoop of what they really are. he wanted to protect a lady who was being assaulted, and pushed the guy while on superspeed.

the guy, he said, exploded, banging against the building, like a meat bag.

you're trying to imagine Barry the summer child, eighteen years old, looking at what he's done, and realize it must have been very heavy

he looks at you like you're special, not like you're this volatile creature that should be locked away

you bond way stronger than before

you now keep each other's secret and protect each other more

him being Barry, he goes overboard a little

once he scares off a guy from your faculty who's been annoying you

it annoys you instead, you feel like Barry is too close, takes too much upon himself, is trying to control you

you continue testing, experimenting. the device works only as long; the moment the object disappears, the tracking is useless as its atoms get broken down into smaller particles

Barry feels, as he watches the recorded process in electromagnetic spectrum, that this is the most important breakthrough of all time

it adds him a lot of points that he never begs you to reveal your power to the world; to go to the big scientists, or on TV, or start 'saving people together'. he is happy having this huge thing all to himself. there's a lot to unpack and research anyway, before any kind of consistent conclusion can be achieved.

one spring day, as you sit at home, Barry calls you, which is unusual. he's a texting guy

he whispers "So I am here with the Batman..."

he asks if you want to go somewhere and meet someone, some robots, and team, and some apocalypse thing - it's very confusing because Barry is mumbling and stuttering

he is gathering a team of people like you and me! you finally manage to get something coherent out of him

but you're not like him

Barry is fast, he's smart, he can utilize his gift to help people

you can only harm them

he promises to message you asap and the next day, the news start getting out, about some planetary cataclysms.

in a couple of days, you start getting messages from him

in a week, he's at your door

he says that there are others like you and him, you notice how he presses on the 'you and him', like you're similar, but you know, and he knows, that he is only saying it not to exclude you. even optimistic Barry understands that you're not like Aquaman, Wonder Woman or the Cyborg, or even slightly radioactive Superman

you are very proud of your friend. soon, it's the summer of graduation, and now you're both free. you spend days searching for a job and living in this new world, where Barry is on a team of superheroes, and you also have your shred of hope

your new life has begun when he proved that a) you can control it, b) it's not solely apocalyptic, it's also universal

you have fallen for him the moment he offered you his last piece of chewing gum, which happened a month after you became friends

actually

you get really drunk closer to autumn. you do, Barry can't. he just hangs out with you the whole night and has no problem having fun anyway. he watches you get drunk, drags you across the street to a karaoke, where you two sing "dumb ways to die" and become local stars

he brings you to his place in the morning just to be sure you're okay

he hasn't seen anyone in his bed for... ever. he's a nerd, he doesn't get to date.

to make you comfortable, he takes off your shoes, your hoodie (very carefully), and unbuttones your jeans

when you wake up, you're touched by his adorable care

Barry always tells you about the Team, all the time, and you listen to these stories like a child

you watch him mature in front of you

but you still dissect the Justice League and discuss each member; they all get their nicknames and memes associated with them

you both call Wonder Woman the Crush. no explanation needed

Superman is Captain Blue Pyjamas

you come up with the Flash, remembering how electricty flows around when Barry is moving at the superspeed. he is ecstatic at this name

at this point, the physical aspect between you two is still surprisingly awkward. you're not very accustomed to touch while Barry craves it; as a result you do a lot of hugs that are too long, touches that are in all the wrong places, and uneasy, comical, supporting pat-pats.

the only time Barry acts extremely confidently and on point is when he is the Flash. his the Flash persona is just on another level of precision. that's probably because superspeed is more natural to him than human speed.

when he is still hot from the run, he is actually... sexy?

he has a habit of giving you very long looks while he's thinking.

when you ask what he's staring at he says the view of you helps him concentrate

you get sad because you feel like when you look at him, you see super-Barry, your peer, your friend, a pretty guy, a fighter, a geek

but when he looks at you, he sees the quantum miracle, and that's why you inspire him

after a year he's still going on about your power, and black holes, and multiverse travel

he also still makes you laugh and forgets about plans, and then apologizes with huge amounts of food

you feel like the Justice League knows about you, but you're never approached by anybody; you suspect Barry protects you very well, and you're grateful for that

but you inevitably start feeling more and more distant from him. Justice League, his job, the thoughts about his father take so much time that he's constantly running somewhere

you, in comparison, with your part-time job, feel like you do nothing at all

to lift your spirits, he'd give you a pat on the back and say, 'super loser nerds for life!'

but you're not his only friend anymore. he is now friends with Victor, and Superman seems really cool, and the Batman seems to help him out a lot. he meets new people at work, and, as he's more confident now, makes new friends

he's still your only friend because you have an adamant habit of staying away from people

the little weird happy bubble of loser nerds has burst

for the first time in your life, you want to be normal and participate, but unfortunately now Barry doesn't have too much time for it

he is trying, because he still is passionately your friend

you meet in free hours, at the coffeeshops, for an occasional walk almost at night; it doesn't hurt that he can run through the whole city in seconds

you still talk about space, and matter, and movies, and food, and your ex college peers, but now it's more like old people's mumbling because both of you have changed

these conversations are warmer, quieter, Barry acts mature more often, and also touches your hand more

he's still the happy energetic boy

at some point you understand your two worlds drift away from each other very slowly

he feels your sadness more and more often and, in his Barry manner, tries to drill your head through with questions

inevitably, there's a catastrophe next to you sooner or later. in the world where superheroes exist, their presence attracts supervillains and disasters. Barry actually has done some research about the statistics of causes-consequences when he wanted to get a rest from exams.

you ride to the Gotham City on your day off to see the Superman installation.

you like it very much for some reason; it's the open space, the quiet luxury of skyscrapers around, the green park, or the installation itself.

this is the exact day when something decides to crash about ten buildings in the centre of the city

you always dread situations like this because you don't know what to expect from yourself

you'd lived in this eggshell, safe and isolated, for ten years, Barry excluded, and always your worst nightmare was getting in the middle of some big collision

you panic, you rush here and there, the screams and the vibration of the ground, the thundering sound makes you lose your mind

you try calling Barry but he doesn't pick up

not until it's too late

you try to think quickly; if you run, you're a coward; if you try to vanish the damage, people might disappear and die; if you vanish everyone, you'll be a monster

so you freeze

you see three figures hovering above in the sky; looking scary. they look like the evil Justice League: a woman with long hair, resembling a witch; a strong man; and someone little, like Barry

maybe it's time to die, you think. you feel very alone

he calls back and it sounds like he's running. Barry is shouting, begging you to tell him you're not in Gotham

you're stunned he remembers your plans

in seconds, he's next to you, and the shockwave of him stopping actually knocks you off your feet

falling, you're still looking at the insidious figures in the sky, and you get so frightened, that they disappear

Barry panickes as well, he's very good at it, but he's thinking

I'm gonna zap you, okay? I have to zap you and carry you away, you can't vanish all those people

you agree; he gives you a zap of electricity; and finally you're at peace, at least for some time

when you wake up, Gotham City is quiet. You lay in the soft comfort of someone's car.

the Justice League is there and they're finishing with the rescue

regardless of the destruction and the ruins of ten massive buildings, they seem pretty happy

Barry is fucking exhausted, he's chewing something and looks half dead, and still, he's happy to see you

when you emerge and look for them, he runs at you, introducing you to the others. You see Batman, which seems unreal, the Crush is also there, and Captain Blue Pyjamas. Barry's new best friend Cyborg, and hairy, angry Aquaman.

Barry puts his arm around your shoulders, so driven to the edge and tired that he barely understands what is happening

this is my... my... Y/N

you feel his hand squeeze your shoulder like he's about to faint.

he whispers super loser nerds

you look at how the others observe you; some with curiosity, others, with amazement. Diana the Crush is smiling softly

why are they looking at me like that Barry?

because you got rid of half of the Injustice League, brollerina

is that one of our funny nicknames? Injustice League?

unfortunately, it's not

#ezra miller imagine #the flash 2023 #the flash 2023 imagine #barry allen #dceu barry allen #the flash

36 notes · View notes

starcrime · 1 year

Note

starlie headcanons??? 😳😳😳

jareth, you don't even KNOW–

i think it should be established that charlie fell first, and meeks fell so so much harder.

steven is slowly losing brain functions like two months after realizing he has a crush, while charlie is chilling (he's been in love for 3 years but he's not gonna do anything about it bc he's convinced steven is out of his league) and ambiguously flirting him (oh, the simple joys of life, confusing your crush about your feelings <3)

not to say that charlie isn't down bad btw, he's just better at coping most of the time

charlie unashamedly favours meeks in everything and he's SO ANNOYING about it

like (i already said this somewhere btw) whenever charlie drives he makes an argument that the driver has the complete authority over the radio, UNLESS it's meeks sitting in the passengers seat, then he lets him pick the music every single time.

charlie is a very hands-on person, and he WILL manhandle the shit out of steven whenever it's convenient to him like the bastard he is

meeks is fine with that btw, he'll just be chatting with sb and charlie comes up behind him, wordlessly grab his arm and move him like a foot to the left and bc he was blocking him, and meeks will barely blink, like "yeah ig that just happened.. anyways!"

also charlie is just about strong enough to lift up steven, and he abuses this ability whenever he can

ADHD!Charlie Dalton x Autism+ADD!Steven Meeks are basically canon to me

meeks absolutely forgets to eat some days, especially during finals and such. charlie can tell whenever that happens, so he'll sneak him food from the kitchen/make him something light just so he doesn't pass out

in a similar sense charlie does not remember he's supposed to drink water, like ever, so meeks has a habit of always having an extra water bottle for him.

their petnames for each other are kinda all over the place

meeks gets easily embarrassed by petnames so he doesn't really use them, while Charlie Extra Dramatic Dalton–

charlie: love, baby, my heart, Stevie (condescending like 50% of the time, the other 50% he's fully genuine) steven: bastard (affectionate) & Charles (derogatory) meeks mostly just calls charlie 'my boyfriend <3'

they almost never flirt in english, at least in public, charlie uses spanish, and meeks mostly hebrew or chinese

also meeks likes to make comments about charlie in latin (bc charlie doesn't really know it besides basics they learned at welton), even in public and cameron has tried to kill him so many times bc 'i don't need to know that, you pervert!'

steven is a chronic people pleaser, charlie is a chronic people annoyer.

charlie proposed on their first real date for the free cake. he did not tell meeks he was going to do that beforehand.

… meeks said yes anyways.

but i don't actually see them getting married, except maybe for tax benefits after 7 years of dating. and they would frequently forget that they're married

there is absolutely no way they get together normally, first they're in a on-again-off-again situationship for like a year bc they both refuse to admit their feelings

also it's meeks that finally confesses (after ignoring three full confessions from charlie, bc they were either so dramatic he thought charlie was joking, or so casual that he didn't even realize what happened)

#this took me too long. sorry #also thankyou for this ask i love them sm <3 #requests #mailbox #cowboylexapro #starlie #dead poets society #dead poets headcanons #dead poets fandom #steven meeks #charlie dalton #meeks x charlie #dalmeeks #hellton boys #i2maz

47 notes · View notes

heywriters · 7 months

Note

For the ask meme: 7, 23, 36, 40?

you are crazy sweet for always responding to these, especially because I queue them and forget. in fact, I have an unanswered one of yours still sitting in my inbox because it came in while i was logged out for a while.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

no specific scene comes to mind, but showing the intent behind a place is fun, like portraying a society as ambitious or crumbling or overbearing purely by describing its architecture. decay is one of my favorite things to describe because it can show neglect, the passing of time, the effects of weather, and/or that something has been well-used and loved.

another worldbuilding motif of mine is food. i love making up fantasy foods, or describing a real place by the type and quality of the food. people are also a very important part of worldbuilding to me because i'm a people-watcher irl, so i try to include the interesting types of people i see in daily life in my stories.

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

murder mystery thriller. i have a half-dozen plot ideas for this genre but i lose interest in them too quickly. one is about a wildfire, one involves police corruption, one starts with a party on a beach, and one is even set in space...but i cannot make myself complete the outlines let alone start writing. i think the idea of sustaining suspense for a whole story intimidates/bores my brain. maybe someday

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

oh, always. the only time my mind draws a blank is usually during dialogue. otherwise, it's like watching a movie in my head or experiencing VR. and while writing, if I can't visualize it I physically act it out or sketch/research an environment so I can better adjust my brain to the setting.

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

I don't know if I should laugh or sigh because hell yeah I re-read. Too much. Too often. If I re-read I edit or I get excited for the ending I never wrote, and either way I end up wasting hours I meant to spend on something else (thanks, ADHD). I've started a new thing where I write quick, small pieces that make me happy and I re-read them until the dopamine is gone. Once that happens, they either move to The Big File where I intend to connect them all into a linear story, or I delete them because they're superfluous/redundant.

Thanks for being the best!

this was good for my brain, so i have to go write now <3

#reply #ask game #writing #creative writing #writer on tumblr

12 notes · View notes

giddlygoat · 1 year

Note

tbh i did not know who cyrus borg is nor have i ever interacted with the ninjago fandom but i am obsessed about him. blorbo via osmosis.

anyways if you have any headcanons about him i would like to hear them :3c

cyrus borg my beloved blorbo babygirl <3

thank you for asking about this man. he is like a chew toy for my brain. hold onto your butt bc it’s 2 am as of writing this and that’s when all the big brained stuff happens

in his mid/late thirties and slaying <3 he started his tech business at about 17 and now he’s got a crazy monopoly on like half the city but it’s okay bc he’s a kind philanthropist and actually treats his employees like human beings so no one cares that he’s effectively one of the most powerful men in the city lmao

i see cyrus as autistic and adhd tbh. the way he gets so hyper focused on his work that he literally does not perceive anything else around him is a bit too relatable, and he strikes me as a very brilliant man who simply does not retain information unimportant to his interests. he could tell you the precise components of the most advanced computers and explain their relationships with one another, but hell if he knows who the president is. you’re lucky if he even remembers what day it is. this man constantly uses reminders and alarms for sure.

he’s on the aroace spectrum i think. i’m not exactly sure how but he just gives me those vibes.

also transmasc swag tbh?? i think i’ve seen that hc around and it goes hard

hear me out. cyrus listens to rap. this is based on absolutely nothing at all i just know it with my very being. he likes stuff with fast, predictable and heavy beats. would totally blast shit like masquerade by siouxxie sixxsta at full volume in his office. it helps him get in the zone. idk what to tell you man [<- 100% projection]

cyrus is like. absolutely fascinated by zane. he admires dr julien’s work so much and wants to study zane under a microscope. as he gets to know zane better personally though, i think he would realize that he has been looking at things through the lense of an engineer for so long that he forgot zane was just like his human family. it’s not that he ever viewed zane as simply a machine, quite the opposite - he fully acknowledged that dr julien had created a full person, and an incredible one at that - but cyrus still has to remind himself that people don’t like being poked and prodded. [the moment he makes the mental connection between zane getting put on an examination table and himself getting operated on by the overlord against his will, he realizes the error in his line of thinking]

oh yeah. the trauma! yeah cyrus might be just a little bit majorly fucked up over the overlord thing. the overlord did amputate his right arm after all, which leaves him with only one fully functioning limb. he still has nightmares about it. getting used to a prosthetic arm wouldn’t have been such a hurdle if the overlord had put any sort of thought or care into the operation, but it left him severely scarred up and just fucked in general. however! as the years pass he becomes pretty much fully accustomed to his situation and doesn’t let it inhibit his creative passions.

also when zane died in s3 cyrus was super broken up about it and blamed himself for it in part. then, not days later his daughter disappeared for reasons he would not understand until like a year later, which totally messed him up. he inevitably threw himself into his work in an effort to not feel anything. he didn’t take very good care of himself during this time. when zane returned from chen’s island, he let pixal explain everything to cyrus, who was just glad they were alive, but the whole situation took a really long time to get over.

when he’s hyper focused he forgets to eat/sleep etc and can run on fumes for hours before his body suddenly becomes a wet paper towel in a parking lot at 3 am and he has to konk out at his desk. thankfully he has people looking out for him, and he’s slowly getting better about it, but once he gets started sometimes the only way to stop is by brute force.

i absolutely love @alanshee’s amazing cyrus headcanons, so you should totally go check out her takes. she has some really cool headcanons about his 16 robot children [in reference to a line where cyrus mentioned pixal was the 16th iteration, i believe] and they always make me smile so big. a lot of my headcanons are inspired by her stuff!

[sorry for the late ass reply it’s been a crazy week and then i forgot rip but thank you sm for the ask!!!]

#asks #cyrus borg #ninjago #headcanons and theories

23 notes · View notes

slightlyaboveaverageiq · 20 days

Text

A Black Rose Among Sunflowers (part 1)

A/N: Okay so a couple things 1. this story is dark, not dark!Reid but part mentions of CSA, childhood sexual abuse, alcohol addiction, PTSD from the CSA, abusive relationships, and domestic violence. The story while also have allusions to dark smutty books such as Haunting Adeline and other books ive read and those come with their own trigger warning so you may want to look at those before reading this. Also we don't kink shame anyone who likes these things CONSENSUALLY and who are above the age of 18. You do you baby boos, that being said minors DNI.

Word Count 2.2k

I bit my lip and gently pushed my key in the lock, it was late, later than I had originally told Casey i would be but with any luck he would have drank himself into oblivion and I would just be able to sneak in. The lights were all out and I breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed the door shut quietly behind me, freezing as the click of the lock seemed to echo through the apartment. I walked down the hallway and placed my keys on the counter not wanting to take the chance of the sound of metal hitting glass waking Casey up. I walked into the kitchen and rolled my eyes seeing the dirty dishes from what I presumed to be just enough dinner to keep him from throwing up like a sloppy drunk but not enough to take his buzz away. Checking the fridge I confirmed my suspicions that he didn't make enough for two, I would probably get some drunken rambling about “If you just cared about me as much as your slut stories we might have dinner together everyone once in a while.” Well maybe if I wasnt subjected to mediocre sex that lasted all of seven minutes with someone who didn't smell like a damn distillery I might not need to live in the world of make believe smutty daddies. I mean honestly who wants to just have their cervix poked awkwardly while their boyfriend completely misses their clit and then gets mad they didnt get off?

“You’re late Addie.” I stilled at the sound of his voice and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Casey had stayed up waiting for me several times and it always led to a confrontation, usually just ending in words being exchanged, maybe a broken glass or two thrown by either one of us, and a ‘whore’ followed by a ‘fuck you’ and me slamming the door and walking to Gabriella (my sister’s house) to sleep for the night. But this…no the energy was off tonight his voice was condescendly sweet and his hands trailed along the back of my neck but the pressure suggested this wasn’t out of concern. No, he was absolutely livid but yet he was calm as a priest and all of the alarm bells went off in my brain.

“I…I lost track of time. And when i saw how late it was i just thought-”

“Thought i would forget and be asleep? Thought Casey’s probably already passed out cold so i might as well just keep doing whatever the fuck I want? Even though I’m in a goddamn relationship and should be at home?” I shivered and moved to step around him but his hand closed around the back of my scalp tightly, my blue tinted hair being ripped out by the root. A sharp cry left my mouth and I instantly clapped a hand over my mouth but it was already too late. Casey had heard it and that meant so had potentially the neighbors, and Casey sure as hell wasn’t going back to jail. A harsh slap came across my cheek and I fell to the ground. I raised my head to look at him but all I got was a faceful of the bottom of his work boots before a sickening squelsh was heard as it made contact with my eye. I'm actually pretty sure the toe of his boot got stuck in my eye goop for a second. Gross.

“One of us has to pay the rent, and we know damn well it’s not going to be you.” Why the hell did my adhd and my inability to filter my thoughts have to make its appearance right now? Apparently my brain just doesn't understand the idea of self preservation because instead of making a break for the door in Casey’s moment of stunned silence I just stood there staring him down like I’m 6’2” instead of 5’2”. I always joked with my sister Gabriella that men couldnt hurt me because of our father, that a 6 '1'' 200 something pound man beating the shit out of a 6 year old and me surviving meant i could square up with anyone. Like an older sister would be she was mortified and tried to get me to see reason. Mainly: No Adrienne just because you survived horrific child abuse does NOT mean you should go out seeking conflict with grown men just to prove yourself. Alas, my sister got all of the common sense and I got all of the anger issues which has led to my current predicament.

“The FUCK did you just say to me you stupid bitch?” Come on brain do something don’t just have me stand here like a fucking idiot. Casey reached for me but I dodged out of the way picking up one of the sausage pokers (is that what they're called? Whatever the prong looking kitchen utensil you shove inside meat to flip it over, I'd rather shove it up Casey’s meat though). He paused for a moment before he let out a hearty laugh and to be honest if this were a scene in a movie I would probably be laughing too, like what kind of dumb bitch picks up a sausage poker instead of KNIFE when they're in the middle of a domestic assault in their kitchen? “Come on little love, we both know you're not going to do anything with that. Put it down and be a good girl and suck my cock and I might not leave too many bruises' ' I felt my stomach twist at his words and was instantly thrown back to an eerily similar conversation with my father when I was 9. 9 year old little me who couldnt fight back when he would beat me black and blue with a belt, little 9 year old me that couldnt fight back as he savagely raped me because ‘this is how daddies show their love now be a good little girl and suck my cock’

“Fuck off Casey…just just get out.” He was walking closer to me and my blue eyes widened seeing that 1. His pupils were huge and 2. Casey had an erection. Ew, who the hell gets turned on being threatened to be stabbed is this like the backwards version of Haunting Adeline? Only it's not a gun going up a pussy, it's a sausage poker going..well anywhere i can get him really. He walked closer to me again and I swung the poked at him. “I said get out you cunt” His eyes narrowed and he lunged at me, I closed my eyes and moved the poker forward and twisted when i felt it come in contact with his skin. OH GOD I was twisting around the muscle inside Casey’s leg. I watched him fall to the ground and thankfully I gained a brain cell in the process and practically ripped my door off the hinges fleeing in the process. Not paying attention to where my legs were taking me just wanting to put as much distance between Casey and myself in case he magically became the hulk and ran after me. I sighed when I saw the 24/7 cafe Lilianna’s appear in my vision. I threw the door open and I'm sure I looked a sight because Lilliana dropped the latte she was pouring causing the customer to frown and turn to see what could have caused the beverage to be spilled.

“Adrienne-” I was about to brush her off but the man was already standing and held my chin in his hand forcing my chin up so he could look at my eye, or whatever was left of it and dear sweet jesus I’m pretty sure this man is what inspires the smutty authors because he is both delicious and terrifying.

“What happened?” His voice was low and gravelly, obviously physically and judging by the cold calculatedness in his eyes probably emotionally exhausted. His hazel eyes stared into mine, at least they looked hazel blood pouring out of your eye really fucks up you vision. Some kind of badge and gun situated on his right hip, ah law enforcement then, no wonder he jumped up so quickly. For a moment I thought about lying but something about his face suggested it would be a bad idea.

“Dr. Reid if I may…Casey Thomas is a nasty piece of work, that's her boyfriend.” Lilliana’s voice was soft but also strangled, poor woman I was going to have to buy multiple coffees for the rest of my life to make up for the trauma I'm sure I just caused her to witness. His eyebrows raised in a silent question and I nodded my head because apparently shock is you know a thing and I’m fairly certain I'm slipping into it now that the adrenaline has worn off.

“Let’s go.” In hindsight I probably should have fought harder to stay with Lilliana because even though this cop has the credentials of a man he's still..well a man and I'm definitely at a disadvantage with my blooded eye and my now bleeding scalp. Should’ve taken the poker with me, I read somewhere if you take impaled objects out, well damn i probably kept the fucker alive keeping it in there. I couldn't help the chuckle that came out of my mouth and Dr. Reid looked down at me worriedly.

“Don’t worry doc im not delirious from blood loss, I was just thinking about how I kept the sausage poker shoved in Casey’s thigh and so I’m probably the only reason that fucker didnt bleed out.” I really probably should've just kept my mouth shut because I don't know how close to a confession that could be to attempted murder and I just admitted that to a cop. A pretty cop but a cop nonetheless. I gave him directions to my apartment and he walked up the stairs, gun drawn, I'm sure he was prepared for a lethal Casey, and to be honest so was I. I waited in the car for him and 15 minutes later he reappeared talking to someone on the phone.

“I’m with her now Em. I'll let you know when I know more. …Yeah her apartment is like two down from mine so you know the address. …Alright see you soon.” He disconnected the call and a tired sigh came out of his mouth before he ran his hands through his unruly hair. “My name is Spencer Reid, I work for the BAU. That was my boss Emily, they're coming to check out your apartment. Casey wasn't there.” I felt a shiver wrack through my body out of fear or just exhaustion I don't know. “I’ll need to take your statement about what happened tonight, but let’s get you cleaned up first.” I nodded and he opened the car door for me and started leading me up the stairs just as black SUVs with flashing blue and red lights appeared in the parking lot.

“Reid!” We both turned around at the voice and a dark brunette woman in a power suit got out of the driver's side and walked over, her hard expression faltering slightly when she saw my bloodied face but it was quickly replaced by a cold, stoic expression. So this must be Emily, definitely a bombshell powerhouse, good for her, fuck the patriarchy and all that jazz.

“This is Adreinne-”

“I’m Adrienne Wilson, even though I guess I resemble something out of a horror film right now. My uh…my boyfriend was drunk and angry that I got back so late, he was waiting for me and I'm sure his boot is now covered in my eye juice. Should've shoved the poker up his sausage but I really didn't want to see that…oh shit can I go to jail for that?” Emily and Spencer both looked at me with a mixture of concern and amusement in their eyes.

“I didn't hear anything. Spencer said he would look you over while we collect evidence from your apartment. Would you like a female member of our team to go with you?” Yes probably should have been the logical answer but I found myself squeezing his hand tighter and slightly hiding behind his larger frame. Emily looked from me, to Spencer, back to me. “Understandable, Reid, bring her back to the office once you get her cleaned up.” He nodded and with a gentle yet firm hand on my lower back he led me to his apartment. I smiled seeing all the books cluttering the area. He disappeared into the bathroom and reappeared with both a soapy cloth and just a warm wet one. He gently cleaned the blood off my face and frowned when he saw my eye.

“You’ll definitely have a black eye but i don't feel any broken bones, can you see how many fingers i’m holding up?” I nodded and answered “Any cloudiness, black spots, halos, or double vision?” I shook my head no.

“Do you think I could…I could take a shower?” I didn't even recognize my own voice. It sounded so small and scared.

“Your apartment will be unavailable at least until tomorrow…you could use my shower if you wanted though.” I nodded and followed him down the hallway. He showed me the bathroom and gave me a fluffy towel along with a t- shirt and sweatpants before closing the door quietly leaving me alone with just my thoughts.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #emily prentiss #tara lewis #luke alvez #matthew simmons #jennifer jareau #david rossi #fanfic #smut #dom spencer reid #spencer x reader

3 notes · View notes

auroras-void · 2 months

Text

One thing I think gets underlooked as a pain from ADHD.

It makes it so you never go home.

I mean. My body goes home every day that's true. But my mind, that stays at school until the last day of class.

I have no sense of time. My memory is frustratingly unreliable. I always have unfinished work.

If I ever forget that. It gets worse. I forget what time the class I've been going to all year is. I miss assignments. I can check and double check, but I know if I don't keep it in my mind it will vanish.

Class tomorrow feels no different than class in five minutes. So I have a choice. Either be constantly thinking about school. Reserve twice, thrice as much time to it as I think it actually needs, cancel plans just to spend that time procrastinating, because I know I can't actually evaluate how long something will take me with any degree of accuracy. I fill my mind with stress all the way up until just before the deadline because it's the only way to get myself to actually do it. Knowing that strategy becomes less effective each time I use it. It becomes easier and easier to take less seriously, or refuse to endure the increasing amount of pressure it takes for it to function. Each pass in the cycle only making it more painful to endure the next, increasing the amount of anxiety each turn of the wheel adds.

Until, eventually, I either buckle under it, or I step out of it by giving up.

Or.

I forget 10% of my assignments, miss another 10, and I show up late or absent just as much. Knowing that it becomes a pattern, and as I relax that number will only grow steadily until it gets to 100. All the while I feel posessed by my own body. My mind warps my sense of reality as more and more starts to slip out of it. Things can even stop seeming real anymore. And not a single thing happens.

Only one of these gets me any work done. So that's what the world pushes me into. I've cracked under the weight of so much frivolous bullshit so many times because of this awful cycle. It's nearly killed be a few times, though I've at least gotten past that.

Lately it's been even worse though Because I know the stress isn't healthy, but I also still don't want to give up.

Naturally this means I get all of the stress without any of the work done. I don't care enough to do it, but I also care too much to ignore it. So I do neither. I feel like I'm in a personal hell that's largely of my own creation. Or waiting to get out of Limbo again and again. I feel like I'm going insane trying the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

And it's ridiculous. Because this doesn't help me. None of it does.

My grade in a class is governed by how heavily homework is weighted, not on my understanding of the material.

I rush through my work in an anxious panic, I skim the textbook and rely on my skills in reading the language of academia to interpolate the rest of the data. I've failed classes I loved. I've passed classes I ignored. The structure is just so fundamentally hostile to the way my brain works, nothing saves me.

I need discussion, I need collaboration, I need something engaging, I need to make something. I need to have the time management delegated to someone who's capable of it.

I get that sometimes, and when I do I excel. At my best I work incredibly hard, I learn things fast, I can do things quickly.

I lack the autonomy to shape my world to nourish that. So instead. I get anxious. I rot.

Forever.

#post #personal #adhd #adhd problems #adhd rambling #academia #anxiety #cw sui ideation implied #longpost

2 notes · View notes

jacksonstarkiller · 1 year

Note

Heya, for Squiddo's ask game, #1, pick your version

Well, here is the essay answer no one was waiting for!

I’m going with 2004 because I don’t get enough changes to talk about Brady Corbet. 😌

There are A LOT of things I love about Brady’s portrayal in the 2004 movie. His attitude, his gayness, his audacity, his fashion. Seriously, lad is just strolling around in cheap basic jeans and a shirt, despite his father being a rich bastard. SLAAAAYYY!!!!

But right now I’ll focus on 2004 Alan being an ADHD icon because it means a great deal to me.

The media I consume usually lacks ADHD representation. I rarely come across it, and when I do, it’s frequently a poorly researched stereotype that pisses me off. Now I know that Alan having ADHD is not canon, but holy shit 2004 Alan is an accurate representation. Best I’ve seen so far tbh.

For starters, the movie literally starts with Alan sitting zoned out in a maths lesson. Iconic! Damn, I feel that scene every time I see it. Alan staring out of the window whilst thinking about his hyperfixiation and needing to be called repeatedly before he actually registers it, 10/10 accuracy.

Throughout the entire movie, there are a myriad of scenes where others are patiently waiting or working on something, and Alan is in the background running around like an overstimulated puppy, flapping his hands, frustrated that doesn’t have something to do. Amazing!

He also exhibits impulsiveness, no patience, mood swings, high irritability, and a short temper. He interrupts people and forgets to look before he leaps. Now THIS is an accurate and complete picture instead of kid who can’t sit still and is dumb and has no other symptoms.

Finally, I love that Alan isn’t stupid. I’ll admit, Fermat is the brains (no pun intended) of the duo but Alan is not an idiot. I’m sick of the stereotype that you cannot be smart if you have ADHD. Seriously, I was in for treatment and was explaining how I struggle with concentrating on reading and assignments and the medical professional (idk what his exact function is tbh) looked me dead in the eye and suggested that university was maybe beyond my capabilities. BITCH, I PASSED MY FIRST YEAR CUM LAUDE (got a bloody certificate and everything) I BELONG TO THE TOP 15 STUDENTS OF MY YEAR!!!!!! I’m gonna fight someone over this one day. But not Alan, because Alan is intelligent! He showed extensive knowledge on the Thunderbirds and rescues. He devised multiple clever plans and ideas that actually worked. It was his idea to use the vents; his idea to use the Thunderizer and the Firefly; he led the final rescue with the monorail; he got himself, Fermat, and TinTin away from the Hood when they were cornered in Thunderbird 1’s silo; HE FIGURED OUT HOW TO DEFEAT THE HOOD!!!! Yes, the hover sledge idea failed but only partially, and 1 mistake does not make you stupid. Also, that was kinda the whole point of the movie, that Alan learned to think more carefully about actions and consequences. And if you still remain unconvinced that Alan posses intelligence, may I refer you to his actual, official report card that was used in a scene, which was later cut from the movie, and that I have in my possession 😩💪🏻

It says “very bright”. 😤

May I also point out that the rest of the comment confirms my diagnosis? 😏

Is anyone still reading this at this point? If you are, you’re a legend!💪🏻

In short, I feel extremely validated and represented by ADHD-icon Alan, and since this is a rare occurrence, it means the world to me.

Alright, alright, I’ll stop. I think I got my point across 😅

#thunderbirds #Alan Tracy #thunderbirds 2004 #ask game #adhd #Brady Corbet #thunderfam #thunderbirds 1965 #thunderbirds are go

25 notes · View notes

redfoxdiary · 6 months

Text

How to art with Adhd

This is something i've realized is difficult. Any job is difficult with Adhd. Staying on task is hard enough, task switching, and prioritizing is also difficult. There is so much to do, and so much that can be done. There is always something to do and Adhd brains put it in the all important or none...or wrong priority order entirely. Doing things daily is something that I found I can do for a few months at a time for a certain duration before it slips...and usually stays gone.

Im trying to get back into doing art and potentially making my own business out of it, which requires much self discipline...something that is tricky. What im going to try to do is create a backlog. Make lists of things that I want to get done, but give really general or long timespans to achieve these things. E.g monthly or even yearly. Not sure if this will work, but trying something is better than trying nothing. At least for me.

Remember ADHD has weaknesses for sure, but...it also has strengths, remember that time when you had to cram for school, a test, an exam...you got distracted an left it until the last minute, then by some miracle you passed or even did well? That time when you blitz cleaned your house because you were guilty and your parents were coming to visit the next day? Yeah, those moments. Some people, neurotypicals even...might spend months of daily self-disciplined study and still not achieve those things. They might cram and forget to do the one thing that was most important to get done. Believe and trust in your own intelligence. We have lived our lives falling, and learning to catch ourself, to keep up with the rest of the neurotypicals around us. We've learned how to catch up usually very quickly and in as little time as possible if we fall behind. Out of necessity. We had very good deductive reasoning and learn very quickly. E.g you got called on by the teacher/boss to answer a question at work/school. You have literally a few seconds to figure out what is going on because you weren't paying attention, you see what page other people are on in their books, or you look at the board to get context clues, you remember the last topic you were all talking about and go from there. If you still can't find the right answer or question, you might probe a little more, reach out for the extra context clues you're missing give a thoughtful "Hmmmm" even an "im not sure" or "I was just wondering/thinking about that" and depending on the reaction you might be able to then deduce where everyone is at. You can then catch yourself up to speed. You not only just learned the information you missed out on while you were distracted or zoning out, but also ways, tools and tricks on how to catch yourself, and catch up in future...the more tools you learn, the faster you become at using them. Even the "weaknesses" can become strengths depending on how you look at it. I might hyperfocus on research about one particular aspect of art, or get distracted and watch videos on art which then turns into videos on gaming or cooking...again though...is that really a loss? One day I might want to draw food, and i'll use that information as reference, or maybe I might want to do pixel art and 3D graphics and watching youtubers playing a game will show me what they most enjoy, and how they navigate a space, what they're drawn to explore, where there eyes are attracted to, what evokes emotions from them about what they're seeing. For me, I treat everything as a learning experience, and no knowledge is useless knowledge. Just because I am not using it right now, doesn't mean that I will never need it. There's absolutely no way I could possibly ever know that its useless and i'll never need or want to use it :)

2 notes · View notes

gen0c1de · 8 months

Text

I got my first tattoo!

A longer post about the details of my experience and whatnot. Hopefully a bit of a stress/anxiety relief for those who are getting their first tattoo and want some form of reassurance. <3

I'm 19 years old, and in the state of Michigan in the US, idk what tattoo laws are anywhere else, but when you turn 18 years old, you're considered a "legal adult" although you can't legally purchase nicotine or tobacco nor can you purchase or drink anything alcoholic. Can't go into a casino or even rent a vehicle. But I digress.

The tattoo I got is in memory of my father who passed away July 12th, 2017. Just a few minutes shy of my 13th birthday... so that was fun to wake up to. He had an all black tribal armband tattoo around his left upper-arm, which was his dominant arm, and it wasn't finished because it hurt him too much to finish the underarm part.

I was gonna get his tattoo or something close to it on my left upper-arm, but I have an implant where the tattoo would be so I chose to have it mirrored and put on my upper right arm, my dominant arm.

I was nervous as fuck and I was low on iron at the time so I was twitching like hell, so that didn't help calm my nerves or anxiety about it getting messed up. The outline didn't hurt and he did the underside of my arm first because that part is a bitch to do last cause of how sensitive the area already is. So adding on it being tender from doing an outline would've made the ordeal WAY worse. I likely wouldn't have been able to get it finished so it would have been unfinished like my dads was lmfao.

The filling part of the process was decent in the beginning, it only really hurt when he would have to go over the same spot multiple times to get it filled, much like when you color in a book or on paper, you have to go over the same area a few times to make sure its all even and complete. So when he reached the back of my arm it was more painful because it had an hour untouched, so the newly sore areas were being abused again.

It wasn't as painful as I had expected though, I'm a bit of a cry baby when my body actually LETS me cry and I surprisingly didn't cry, so the anxiety of me crying and embarrassing myself went away after a while. I did flinch a time or two and I apologized a lot throughout because I wanna be a good client and I don't want the artists to have a bad impression of me so when I go and get another tattoo they won't be annoyed that they have to deal with me.

The artist was super cool and talked to me every now and again and let me rest my arm when I had to have it above my head so he could do the underside. He said if I needed a break to let him know and complimented me on how I barely reacted in the beginning and how, although I was shaking from adrenaline, my right arm was perfectly still for him. He did grab, pull, and stretch my skin some and I had a large bruise but it didn't hurt, just looked weird for a few days.

When it was peeling it was SO HARD to not pick at the skin... I ended up picking some off and so there's a couple little places that are discolored, but if I make an appointment to get it touched up within the next 3 months then the touch up is completely free, so that's a plus! I'll make sure not to pull at the skin when I get it touched up...

Also, it's at the itchy stage. It's so hard not to scratch it... so if anyone has any tips or pointers on what to do, that would be great... cause I can not ignore it... I have ADHD. If it bothers me, I will focus on it and won't be able to distract myself. If I do manage to forget about it, my brain will suddenly be like: "Yo, remember how itchy it is? Wonder if it still itches like a motherfucker." and then the cycle repeats.

My dad's tattoo

My tattoo!

#tattoos #tatted #tattooed #first tattoo #tattoo advice #new tattoo #inked

2 notes · View notes

queer-adhd · 2 years

Note

TW disordered eating ; TW neglect ; TW self harm mention

I was wondering if you or your followers have advice for me, since you have so many neurodivergent followers. I've already got a dietician helping me out with the food part, but I'm struggling with the autistic/ADHD part.

At the age of 31 I found out I have a ton of food allergies and intolerances. Apparently I've also developed a histamine intolerance along the way.

This suddenly put a lot of things in perspective: I've always struggled with food, and I realised this is because my parents/childhood environment didn't take these issues seriously and just continually told me to stop making a fuss and finish my plate.

I think I ended up developing ARFID because of this. Seemingly everything I ate made me sick so I just stopped eating unless I was on the verge of fainting, or unless my ADHD made me seek out dopamine (back when I was still unmedicated). I think the fainting thing might be hypoglycemia? I was always told that's a diabetes-only thing but the symptoms match up with how I felt the majority of my life and I recently read it can also be caused by eating disorders.

Thanks to my dietician, I now know what I can digest and what I can't and it's had a major positive effect on my health so far. We've been working on these issues for a year or so now. She's been amazing for the food part, but doesn't know anything about neurodiversity.

I keep getting stuck on the brain part of recovery. I've regained my ability to distinguish nausea from hunger, but I still constantly forget to eat. I've trained myself my entire life to ignore hunger. My sense of time is really bad, so a day will pass by and I'll only realise I forgot to eat all day around dinner time. My ADHD meds probably diminish my sense of hunger too. I enjoy cooking but executive dysfunction makes it hard even though I know I need fresh foods for the histamine thing. My ADHD makes me crave things I can't have whenever my menstrual cycle makes my meds less effective: I make sure I don't have any around, but the dopamine seeking thing makes it hard to eat something else at those times. Autistic sensory issues give me trouble with some safe foods which makes having a balanced diet difficult. I've also just been struggling to find safe foods in general because the various allergies are hard to combine and it takes a lot of research/focus to find new things I can safely add to my diet.

It's also taken me a long time to accept this is a type of eating disorder. Most doctors I talked to about these issues basically reacted the same way my parents did before I found my current dietician. So while I objectively know it's not my fault, I still constantly have to remind myself that I'm not just being difficult and that I really do need all of this. I try to do this with CBT techniques, but I also noticed a problematic trend: I don't seek out allergic reactions, but whenever I do react it feels like a validation of my struggles being real now that I know how to identify an allergic reaction. While I think I'm dealing OK with this at the moment, I'm kinda worried this has the potential to turn into a type of self-harm if my mental health were to take a bad turn in the future. I've already told my therapist, but she's not entirely sure how to deal with this either. (She's looking into it though.)

I can't be the only person struggling with issues like these? Given how ADHD/autism and allergies/histamine issues are comorbid. Does anyone recognise this situation? Any tips on how to deal with it? Or Tumblr/Discord/Reddit groups that talk about this? Or should I just give it more time?

END TW

Thank you for running this blog, by the way. Seeing other people's asks here and at Rouke's place has helped me figure out a few other minor health issues too. Your blogs seem to have had a positive impact for a lot of people. Really makes me appreciate the power of community.

So guess who had a response to this in his drafts and then got punched in the face by life repeatedly. Sorry! Here's what I had in drafts:

Ahhh I'm really glad that we've been able to help, even if it's just by linking people to other people who might know how to help better than us.

So I can't offer help on everything but I can confirm that ADHD also makes me forget to eat, and having a structured life kinda helps. I bring lunch to work with me and lunch break is a set time every day where everyone in my office stops to eat, so I don't forget.

I also think that possibly one of these might be helpful:

It's a vibrating wristwatch; it's got ten different alarms, so they're most often used for medication reminders but they're also honestly great for reminding you to eat. They're physical so they don't get silenced when I put my phone on do not disturb, and they haven't set off my sensory issues.

The lights are usually off unless you click the button to check, so the battery life is good and it's rechargeable via micro-usb cable instead of battery replacements.

Also, generally speaking I'd say that a safe food is better than no food or not enough food. Even if you're not managing to eat super healthy or whatever, jump on the opportunities you get where your brain or body says yes, particularly if they're rare.

Regarding the self harm aspect, I've definitely struggled with something similar. It's hard. Feeling validated like that is something very appealing, even if it's objectively miserable. I'd say that as long as you're not seeking them out, it's not too much of an issue. Maybe try and keep track of how often you find this happening; if there's an uptick, then it's time to break out the CBT and also potentially address any stressors in your life that might be contributing.

Also yes ADHD in general can be a contributor to disordered eating; our dopamine pathways are fucked. Food can be a major issue because of that.

As per, please anyone who knows more or has any insight chime in?

31 notes · View notes

nerdnag · 1 year

Text

Vent.

Unfiltered, disorganized vent.

I feel so inadequate in so many areas of life right now. In my relationships, at work, and in my own ability to achieve my personal goals. In this very moment, I can't even come up with one situation where I feel like I can live up to expectations (mine or others). And the most frustrating part? I'm mostly held captive by my own brain. My NPDs, my trauma, and my emotional inadequacy. Trying to get through one day after the other without completely losing myself in some hyperfocus so I can temporarily forget that time is passing.

I'm so bad at feelings, so bad at opening up about my worst and darkest emotions, but sometimes it feels a tiny bit easier and at those times it happens that something slips out.

"I feel inadequate" - to which the other person tends to reply, "you aren't". Or "you are adequate to me, just as you are".

It's not helping, but I don't know what would. I don't know what would. I just know that I can't trust those words when someone says them, because it's not true that I'm adequate or even good just as I am. Everyone, everything, everywhere, has expectations of some kind. I can be a bad friend. A bad wife. A bad co-worker. A bad writer. Or bad at making the most with my time, of taking care of myself. Bad at doing things that need to be done. Bad at emotions, bad at comforting people. Bad bad bad. And I am.

I can't take all of these expectations. I don't want them, because I'll just fail to live up to them. Sometimes it feels like the only area of life where I can even remotely live up to expectations is at work, and even there I often feel like an impostor. Like I've just tricked everyone into thinking that I'm way better and more competent than I am. Everything just feels like a trick, like I'm playing pretend, like no one knows the truth; and if they learned the truth, they would cut me out of their life (or, at work, everything would go to shit because no one would have confidence in me anymore).

And still people look up to me, or say that they like or love me, or treat me like I can't make mistakes or do things wrong. But... It's... Just a façade... And I... Am just a blob. Just a small blob who's trying to float on the surface like everyone else. But when people don't see that, it's like my struggles are invalidated, and I'm just left feeling like an impostor because apparently not even my own emotions represent the truth.

(A tale as old as time.)

And I can't help but wonder how much of this could be mitigated if I finally got some damn help with my adhd. Or if I got my head out of the sand and tried to work through my trauma again. (I've tried different things on and off for a decade. But I'm going to keep trying. I'm definitely going to try. I'm waiting for a book delivery that I think will help. It feels incredibly difficult and anxiety-inducing but I will do it. Mostly because it feels like yet another expectation/demand on me that I need to live up to but also because if I do get better then I think I would also get rid of some of my sense of inadequacy.)

But for now, I remain inadequate.

And I feel very lonely about it all.

#Don't read this if you're easily triggered bc I am in a pretty bad place right now #I don't know quite what to tag for but there's mention of trauma self-deprecation impostor syndrome and NPD

5 notes · View notes

thatndginger · 1 year

Text

Writer Tag Game

Thank you @ceph-the-ghost-writer for the tag!

I'll pass this along (no pressure!) to @moonscribbler @wisteriasadprose @thetruearchmagos @cryptidsandqueers

The questions: Do you write in order? Do you start with something particular? How fully formed does your writing come out the first try? How many drafts do you go through? Tell me about your process?

Do you write in order?

Eh, it depends? When I’m in the ‘ideas’ stage, I kinda just write whatever pops into my head so I can throw it on the pile. But when I’m in the ‘trying to get a draft down’ stage, I try to write everything chronologically. I might skip a scene or two, but for how intricate something like Shapeshifter has become, I feel like I kinda have to write everything chronologically. When I have ideas for later scenes, I jot it down onto a stickynote and slap it on the wall next to my desk for later.

Do you start with something particular?

So far, every single wip I’ve got has started with a character. Shapeshifter started with Kerr springing fully formed from my subconscious, like Dionysus from Zeus’ thigh. War Witch came about when I was getting really into WWI and witchcraft at the same time and wondered what a witch in a technological war would be like. If I were of a psychoanalyzing persuasion, I might blame my early start in mid-2000’s roleplay forums.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try?

0.5%. Maybe. Call it a byproduct of a brain ruled by ADHD, but most of my writing starts out as half a sentence thrown on a google doc or sticky note, and then I spend the next 4-6 years slowly expanding upon that half sentence until it resembles something almost book-ish. I have the amazing ability to forget things almost as soon as I think them, so it’s really a matter of luck if I remember to put all the words in a sentence the first try.

How many drafts do you go through?

So, so many. As many as I need to figure out where I’m even going, and as many after that as I need to tell the story once I’ve figured it out.

Tell me about your process?

Roughly? I wing it. In slightly more detail:

- Have the smallest nugget of an idea.

- Let idea nugget sit in a corner for a while and let it Grow.

- Once idea nugget has gained some mass - or bullied its way into the forefront of my mind - I poke and prod and generally explore the idea without doing much actual writing.

- After I’ve satisfied myself with a preliminary examination, I sit down with the nugget and start asking questions. What does it want to be? What story does it want to tell? Why is it insisting I make everyone a werewolf? Is it ready for more work, or does it want to go back into the corner for a while?

- Once these questions are answered, I usually start the process of compiling resources. Images for inspiration, research documents, lists of possible scenes, character sheets, the works. Anything interesting to feed to the idea nugget and help it Grow. Another appropriate nugget-food is little scenes that go nowhere but explore characters or worldbuilding concepts.

- Once the idea nugget has reached an appropriate mass and gained rudimentary sentience, we start in on the hardcore stuff. Story outlines, character arcs, governments, actually writing out the magic system instead of insisting we can ‘run on vibes’... This is also generally the time where I will rope others into poking at the idea nugget and asking their advice - before now, the nugget has been too delicate and shy to handle Outside Eyes. This is also the stage where I start trying to compile a first draft.

There is a great deal of trial-and-error throughout this process. I am of the school of thought that one learns better if they fail a couple times (or a couple dozen). In the wise words of a stretchy yellow dog, “Sucking at something is the first step to being kind of good at something.” It might be a bit disheartening at first to take a running start at a story only to fizzle out three chapters in because something’s not working, but it just means I’ve now figured out how *not* to start my story. Maybe next time will be the version that works, maybe it won’t. But I’ll learn something new and come out better for it either way.

#tag game #writing process? what's that?

3 notes · View notes

lostinanimage · 2 years

Note

Do you have physical descriptions of your characters? Not face claims, just something like race, hair, eyes, height, build. I like to picture them when I'm reading! Your Patreon OC most of all, like Alex, Burg, Marissa, Noah, Mickey, Willy, Hunter, Alex's siblings and all the children, Devon, Courtney... It's okay if you don't! It's a testament to your talent that you got a visual reader like me so immersed in the action and dialogue to forget what your characters look like ❤️❤️❤️

Alex, Noah, Devon, Cupid, Mills, and Mason are in a different post, so I’m linking that here. I have updated that post a couple times as I’ve changed my mind about things. Let me know if it doesn’t work. Absolutely don’t feel bad that you couldn’t find it if you looked. Tumblr is a mess when it comes to finding stuff. This post also includes some explanations about why I tend to not be a visual writer. So, I’m not going to include that here. It’s absolutely okay that you care and that you asked. Thank you for reading anyway and I’m always happy to answer. I apologize in advance for how many times my ADHD took over during this post.

One thing I also want to add to that post is that part of the reason I don’t often describe body types is that to me, a lot of this is implied by the professions of my characters. Hockey players’ body types don’t very all that much and I’ve mentioned when they do. (Alex is described by Willy as being one of the really big guys.) Kat is a rhythmic gymnast and I’ve mention that she hopes to go to the summer Olympics which puts her in a specific body type. Morgan plays college basketball and that says a lot about her body type. (This might be a spoiler. Sorry?) I’ve mentioned Mason and Devon’s heights, but after that, they’re assumed to have the body type of an Olympic figure skater. (Mason is an example of where I’ve mentioned where he differs a bit because he’s taller. Devon is an example of the same because he’s shorter and also an example of a place where I'm mentioned his size because of his height difference with Alex.)

Burg: I have the issue with Burg that I have with Matty. Both he and Matty are in my head as “basic American white hockey player with brown hair.” I have literally met multiple members of my cities NHL team multiple times at my old job and they all dislike me because they recognize me, and I never recognized them because they literally look exactly the same to me. But honestly, this genericness is purposeful for Matty and Burg because being “typical hockey players” but making the decision to align themselves as they do is important for Alex and Kent. They are also both around 6’1” and built like hockey players. I have literally never thought of their eye colors, so I’ll go with brown. (NGL. I have literally never noticed someone's eye color in my entire life. I literally just sat here and tried to think of the eye colors of all my best friends and I'm not sure of a single one.)

Marissa: I *think* I’ve mentioned that Marissa has brown hair and she’s half-Mexican, but is white-passing in most cases. Her hair is naturally kind of curly, but she straightens it most of the time because that’s less day-to-day upkeep. She’s 5’3” and slim but curvy.

Mikey: Honestly, I could sit here and try to make him sound different than Burg, but I would fail, and it would be embarrassing. I am thankful that I’m good at dialogue. (Which honestly is probably due to having prosopagnosia. I regularly recognize people by speech patterns and have been known to mix up people who look completely different but have very similar speech patterns. I actually had to explain to two people who were BFFs that I could see them, but since I don’t recognize by faces, my reflex is to recognize by speech patterns and stance/movement, so I’d say the wrong name reflexively before filling in the blanks that I was wrong when my eyes caught up and noticed other things my brain recognizes like hair and skin tone.)

Willy: Willy is blonde. I never intended for him to be a main character, so at the time I made him up, multiple Williams in the NHL had shoulder-length blonde hair so he also has it. He’s an example of where I’ve mentioned his hair because he cares about it. He has blonde hair and blue eyes for the same reason. He’s American, but has Swedish heritage. 6’1”

Hunter: Hunter is black, and he has a slighter lighter skin tone than Mason, Mills, Reaper, Ty and Emily. He keeps his hair cut fairly short. 6’2”

Courtney: Black and 6’1”. He doesn’t actually look like Hunter in facial features, but the description here is going to make it sound like that because I am a disaster at describing facial features for obvious reasons. I’ve mentioned that he is close to evenly matched with Willy in size, with Willy being a bit bulkier due to being a professional athlete while Courtney is a regular guy who goes to the gym.

The kids are going to be a little bit hard because they’re obviously growing. So I’m going to say height they’ll be as adults? (I have also deleted spoilers from this multiple times because Lizzie is 17 in the most recent post and 19 where I’m writing.)

Kat: Very slim and blonde. As an adult she’ll be 5’5” This is why even when she’s older, she jumps on Alex because he’s huge.

Ethan: Also blonde. Average height and gangly with glasses. He’ll be 5’8” as an adult, so average, but small next to Alex because he refuses to work out when he doesn't have to.

Lizzie: As an adult, she’s 6 foot and adds half an inch in between 18-20. She has been eating a lot of protein for a long time and as an adult, she has a fair amount of muscle. She has straight brown hair that is to her chin on the side of her hair that isn’t buzzed. She has been known to have team-related designs cut into the shaved side of her head.

Trey: He will end up a couple inches taller than Bitty, but he is basically almost a copy of his biological dad.

Ariel: 5’7” dirty blonde hair. Looks like someone a hockey player would date. Determined to not date hockey player and be a stereotype. May or may not succeed.

Asher: Looks like Matty with lighter hair and blue eyes instead of brown. NGL, I just decided his eye color.

Morgan: 6’1” light brown skin as an adult. Black hair that she usually wears in braids. Fairly muscled.

Taylor: 6 foot. He’s black with a deep skin tone. If Jeff was with him and Reaper at the same time, people always assumed he was Reaper’s kid. He’s athletic in the sense that he plays sports in high school, but will just do intermural sports for fun in college.

Darius: As an adult, he’ll be 5’7”. He’s black and absolutely passes for Mills’ biological son. As an adult, he'll look like Brian Michael Smith but with less muscle.

Feel free to ask for updates if I forgot anyone or when I add new characters!

#aleia asks #begin again fic stuff

2 notes · View notes