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thatndginger · 11 hours

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fun and lightly nsfw moment -

I am extremely asexual. like, so ace I didn't believe sexual attraction was a thing as a kid. So ace I find people's descriptions of sexual attraction confusing to this day. Cryptid, conversely, has a fair bit of experience with sexual relationships and is firmly allo

so sometimes he will tell me something about sex that I know is true because he never lies, but sounds so goddamn fake to my ace ass that it breaks my brain

anyway, I'm gonna go stare at a wall and contemplate some things

#k's life updates #he has had to answer some really weird questions in the past lol

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thatndginger · 16 hours

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had to explain to a customer my policy of "reckless kindness" today

is the thing I'm doing probably not what I'm supposed to? yeah. am I gonna do it anyway because it makes your life a little softer? for sure

so no I won't charge for those three pages of passport forms you're clearly stressing about. I will spend that extra ten minutes editing your file to make it look exactly how you want. I will throw whatever discount I can onto that order, or "forget" to charge for part of it

because this job sucks sometimes and life sucks all the time, and knowing that I made it suck just a little less is all I can take home some days

also breaking the rules. breaking the rules is always fun

#k's life updates #it's been a day y'all

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thatndginger · 18 hours

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How it started:

(Image ID: a tweet from ConcernedApe on October 12, 2021, stating: "I like pickles, but mayo...I plead the 5th. but if I remember right, the real reason you can't eat them in the game is because they are in a glass jar and I didn't want to have to draw a special animation for fishing out the pickles, and no way would I allow drinking mayonnaise.")

How it's going:

(Image ID: A tweet from ConcernedApe on March 17, 2024, showing a screenshot of a patch note that reads, "You can now drink mayonnaise.")

#stardew valley

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thatndginger · 20 hours

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🍁 and 💫 for the soft oc asks.

—signed @wintherlywords

@wintherlywords Hi! Thanks for the asks! I'll let Motley take these. It's never gotten a whole for itself before. Uh, content warnings for body horror and necromancy stuff on this "soft" ask game answer, I guess.

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

Motley is a necromancer, one of the dreaded Ouroboroi under the command of Hawthorne. While it doesn't need food, water, or sleep it does crave solitude (not to mention getting its freedom back--but that's another story). It prefers to find this by wandering out into the western desert wastes of the States. Something about the stark landscape and sense of space makes Motley feel almost like it has no master. It can scale the rocky cliff of a mesa to the top and sit under the infinite stars for days, even weeks before moving again.

Although it doesn't need comforts like a bed, Motley does have a room in the manor. It does have a comfy chair by a large fireplace where it likes to sit while sewing a new patch of skin onto itself or its cloak. Occasionally it'll do something more wholesome like whittle animal figurines to pass the time.

Motley doesn't want to own or be owned. It lays no claim to any one spot, simply enjoys being there for a time before moving on. Such is the fleeting nature of existence. Anyway, you have any idea how hard it is just to keep a lawn tidy? Its got a busy schedule of murder--it can't be maintaining a path and spot out in the middle of nowhere.

💫What is your favourite fact about this character and why?

Motley's skin is made of patches it's stolen from humans and sewn onto its own body. This allows it to shapeshift into said humans. Likewise, it has a patchwork cloak of animal hides. It's super cool in a macabre, spooky way, but also because it's bending the rules of magical possibility. Which is kind of the whole point of being a necromancer tbh.

#dysthanesia #motley is so creepy and so cool #ngl if i became a necromancer i'd be the same

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thatndginger · 21 hours

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Lily Seika Jones aka Rivulet Paper (American, b. 1989, San Antonio, TX, USA, based Seattle, WA, USA) - Death Bunny, Paintings: Watercolor

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thatndginger · 22 hours

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Top-Tier Villain Motivations

They will be safe. It doesn't matter who else or what else burns as long as They will be safe.

I will be safe. The hunger and the cold will never touch me again.

Fuck any bitch who's prettier(/cooler/better-liked/better at making dumplings) than me.

Yes, Master

Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. LOVE ME!

I know the terrible things these so-called "heroes" will do if I don't stop them (<- is absolutely wrong)

I don't want a better future, I want a better past!

No other way to get performance art funded these days

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thatndginger · 2 days

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missive from the trenches -

cryptid bought an entire pizza just for me, my favorite cookies, and my favorite lemonade. while I mope in bed watching trash foreign tv

he's the best

#k's life updates #i have one more week of 6 days straight #then i finally get my weekends back

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thatndginger · 2 days

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#man did a megalosaurus and iguanadon fuck?#or is it like all the ones decended from either one are counted in the same group?#where did they evolve from?#is the term dinosaur like the term “fish” where its all weird?#but i do think dragons decended from the megalosaurus and the iguanadon#or at least certain kinds of dragons#perhaps without the mass extiction event that fuckin merked the dinos we couda got ourselves a dragon#but would there be humans?#i have so many questions

@moonboy-queerfingers moving to a new post but

It's not that Megalosaurus and Iguanodon fucked (they were millions of years apart)

It's that they were the first two dinosaurs discovered

SO we defined the group as *their family tree*, which means that the first dinosaur was the last ancestor they shared

so like, think about a family group of humans. you have distant cousins with your last name, because a few generations ago, your most recent common ancestor with said cousins had that last name.

"Dinosaur" is just that for species.

Fish is weird for many, many reasons, some are similar, but it's a whole other ball game. Essentially, all tetrapods (amphibians, reptiles+birds, mammals) evolved from fish, but weren't included in fish when we just classified things on traits. So, by evolutionary relationship, tetrapods are fish, but that's never what people mean when they say fish, so scientists don't know what to do. I personally vote we call tetrapods fish because a lot of our anatomy is directly because we are fish.

And we did actually have dragons among dinosaurs ! They're called Scansoriopterygids and they were small, but very much dragon like:

#paleontology

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thatndginger · 2 days

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One trope Im a big fan of in media is when the loyalty outweighs a conflict of interest. I don’t agree with what you’re doing, but I will follow where you go no matter what. I will do anything for you even if it opposes my own morals

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thatndginger · 2 days

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Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread

#to make you smile

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thatndginger · 2 days

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"Crooked, previously-broken nose" is such a hot trait to give your characters. Im begging you to fuck up your characters' noses

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thatndginger · 2 days

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reblogging because I've updated the image descriptions and added a transcript. Something I should have done before posting :/ Sleep deprived K is dumb sometimes

I'm still exhausted all the time (yay 50 hour workweeks) but I've finally had a bit of my creative spark return this week. So have a few page spreads from the Idiot's Guide to Moressau that I polished up over the last few days.

Two more sections to go (this whole thing would go a lot quicker if I wasn't making up 90% of it as I go :P)

Transcript under the cut.

First image:

The Idiot's Guide to Moressau

Provided Courtesy of Portia Beckham and The Pack

Second Image:

Shopping That Won’t Bankrupt You If you want to find some shopping that’s reasonably priced and not forced to keep up a bright and happy facade for the city’s ‘image’, then you’re going to want to check out the street markets. All local, usually handmade, and you’re far less likely to run into a stuck-up asshole. The really good ones don’t advertise their existence, you just have to know. Best practice: check the Arts or Lonewood districts on a weekend evening. You’ll find something that makes the entire trip worth it. Guaranteed.

Not in the mood for a stall crawl? There are a ton of unique stores around Moressau worth your time. But like most things, you’ll have to put in a little footwork for them. My personal suggestions are The Salt Well - a secondhand store covering three stories in the Arts - and Thistle & Rue - a local artist co-op that never fails to lighten my wallet with every visit.

Local Food Worth Your Time Moressau is far from an haute cuisine destination, but since you’re here you’re better off checking out some of the local offerings than settling for fast food. Trust me. Check out Jax’s Diner down in the industrial side of town. Open twenty-four-seven and the best breakfast plate you’ll ever eat in your life. Or if you want something fishy The Queen’s Catch on the Old Wharf is by far the best place to sample some of the sea’s bounty. Finally, if you’re looking for somewhere with both good booze and good food, you can’t go wrong with Island Goat or the Salt Beard Tavern. Just don’t ask to try the chef’s special at the tavern. Trust me.

The Historical and Creepy Look. All of Moressau is creepy. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told. It’s dark and gloomy and you’re just as likely to get mauled by a creep as you are to get scared by a dumpster rat. If you don’t know what you’re doing, stick to the shit all the brochures tout. You’re less likely to die that way. There’s museums and tour guides for all of you nerds, too. That tour of Augustus Laroche’s mansion is actually pretty fun. They have paid actors and everything, but frown on self-guided tours outside of the usual routes. Just FYI.

I’ve heard of some walking tours that have popped up recently that seem safe, if you’re into that kind of thing. Word to the wise, though: avoid anything that mentions the Montrose Syndicate. They aren’t dead, and they don’t like being talked about. Whoever started that tour is going to end up at the bottom of the bay sooner or later.

Seaside Attractions (And Then Some) This is another one the brochures can handle for you. The boardwalk and lighthouse are safe enough, and there are parts of the preserved old wharves that aren’t too bad either. They were made with old shipwreck lumber. The founders were thrifty and morbid like that. Stick to the North Docks and Downtown if you want to explore more of Moressau’s seaside attractions. The Old Docks aren’t the safest place anymore, day or night. If you’re up for a bit of a hike, check out the original lighthouse just north of the city. It was abandoned in favor of the new lighthouse in the early 1900's, but whatever they made it with keeps it standing, even if the rocks around it have eroded away. It’s not as fun since the city took out the bridge connecting the lighthouse to land, but you’re brave (and stupid) you can still make it across the gap. Ask me how I know.

For some modern entertainment - or modern-ish - it’s worth it to check out Saltshock, the amusement park right off Harbor Boardwalk. It’s got some of those old wooden rollercoasters that are actually terrifying. The modern steel coasters have nothing on those rickety old things. The prices aren’t too bad, but definitely don’t bother buying any souvenirs there. That’s where they get you.

Oh, and since you’ll be in the area, keep an eye on the street art. I know a guy who paints some really cool murals around the Docks and Southside neighborhoods. Some of them disappear pretty quickly, since he never asks permission to decorate someone’s wall. He says there’s an internet group or something dedicated to finding his latest work. He’s usually full of shit, though, so I’ll believe it when I see it. Maybe he’s right. His art is good. So keep an eye out for anything signed “W S”.

Third Image:

VAMPIRES

If your entire reason for coming to Moressau is to meet a vampire then I have two questions for you: What the hell is wrong with you, and why bother coming here at all? Statistically, there is at least one vampire in or near where you live now. Chances are that if you’re only here to be a bloodbag, you won’t listen to my advice, so I’m going to write this for those of you who want to avoid some unpleasant new scars around the neck region.

How to Spot a Vampire Let’s get something straight right now. Vampires don’t sparkle. They aren’t incredibly pale. They aren’t indestructible. A freshly-fed vampire isn’t much different from a human actually. Warm to the touch - never hot - and no paler than the average person, just without the heartbeat that makes a human…. human.

That said, there are some tell-tale aspects of a vampire that are impossible to hide. You’ll know a vampire as soon as they open their mouth. Their fangs don’t do that stupid retraction thing like some movies claim. Vampires also have reflective eyes, like most supernaturals. A vampire’s eyes don’t glow, they aren’t blood red, they’re just eyes. But they’ll shine in the passing light of a car or a camera flash, that’s for certain. Lastly, vampires lack both a shadow and a reflection.

A vampire who hasn’t fed in a few days will have a chill to them like any other dead body. But a hungry vampire is faster, stronger, and much easier to piss off. A hungry vampire is more likely to drink you down to the last drop, too.

Where to Find a Vampire Typically, vampires can only come out at night. They tend to burn to a crisp within an hour if they’re exposed to full sunlight. It’s not a pretty sight. Luckily for the vampires of Moressau, the sun only comes out about 30 days of the year, so they can be out at nearly any time. Most of them keep to the night hours though. They’re nocturnal creatures by nature. They also tend to hang out in the Midnight Quarter. There are some vampires who’ve lived there since the city was founded, and if you’re looking for ‘night life’ then the Midnight Quarter is exactly where you want to be. Don’t let your guard down for a second there. The only places where regulations on vampire feeding are enforced are donation centers, and even those are iffy. Sure, the city says they oversee vampire parlors to ‘ensure safe conditions for both mundanes and supernaturals’ but they’re lying through their teeth.

Not all vampire parlors and clubs are terrible. Just most of them. Club Nomad caters primarily to vampires, but they’ll welcome anyone looking for a night out. The bouncers there are better than most about keeping an eye on the crowds. If you want exclusivity, then L’Sourire en Sang run by the Société de Keres is as old and exclusive as you can get. They’re pretty strict about who they let in - mundane and vampire both - but I’ve heard that almost every human visitor has left alive.

Last but not least, there’s Cameo. It hasn’t been around very long, but it’s already pissed off all the old, mouldy vampires in the city so it has my vote of confidence. I heard it’s run by a new coalition in town called the Strix Assembly, and they’re very concerned about keeping their bloodbags alive and well. Pampered, even. They don’t mind the occasional shifter or supernatural drifting through, either.

Finding Good Mosquito Repellent Vampires might be some of the deadliest supernaturals out there, but lucky for us mortals there are some tried and true ways to keep them off your neck. Or kill one, if you need to.

First, sunlight. We’ve covered this. Keep up.

Second, rowan wood. I don’t know what it is about rowan specifically, but it’ll burn any vampire who touches it. They hate the smell of it too, if you’re in the market for new cologne.

Vampires have an aversion to garlic, but it’s not going to stop a determined one. Pepper spray is useful if you can make a quick getaway. Don’t bother with religious iconography or silver unless you want to be laughed at before you die.

And finally… I talk a lot of shit, but most vampires are just like everyone else. Common sense and a nice attitude will go a long way. This guide is so you know how to handle the dangerous ones.

Shapeshifter taglist: @sunset-a-story @touloserlautrec

#wip: shapeshifter

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thatndginger · 3 days