#also I'm typing a damn novel in the tags
Note
since twitter has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, and reddit has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, what do we do now that tumblr is becoming (more) actively hostile to its users? i’ve been here for over a decade so i know tumblr users are the type to cling on despite everything and revel in undoing every change, but i’m so tired of the way this website breaks the way it fundamentally works in order to appeal to new users. the twitterfication of the site seems so much worse than when people jumped ship after the porn ban, and even then, only small communities (and twitter) cropped up as solutions. you might not be the person to ask for a definitive answer, but i figured a tech blog might be interested in considering - what do we do when there’s nowhere left to go?
Okay so, I mean this very seriously: how has tumblr meaningfully become like twitter?
I don't personally find the sidebar view obnoxious and it seems to me like just another layout change that's pretty typical to tumblr. New users are getting signed up with a bit more emphasis on algorithmic feeds, but that is still very easy to change (MUCH easier than on any other social platform) and the algorithm has been there for everyone for quite a while, we just typically don't notice it because a lot of long-term tumblr users don't go into the "for you" feed.
I don't think that tumblr *has* fundamentally broken the way that it works to appeal to new users. My dash now is still very much like my dash in 2019, and still very much like my dash in 2018 (though much less pornographic). Reblogs are still reblogs, likes are still likes. Replies, for all that they seem like they've been around forever, are new and good and I think they work well. I'm irritated that the notes menu doesn't have a "view all" option but I think that's a worthwhile tradeoff for an easy way to see tags.
I *do not* understand why tumblr has broken linking back to previous reblogs but I don't think that's out of an effort to act like twitter; it is a bizarre choice that I dislike and don't understand but I also don't think that it has fundamentally changed the way the site works and i mean you've been around long enough that I'm sure you've had the same experience I have of going into the notes of a post and randomly clicking until you found a version that you wanted to reblog without a bunch of bullshit at the bottom. Tumblr has always kind of sucked, this change DOES suck but it doesn't suck in a way that is particularly novel or insurmountable. (For instance, I think this change sucks MUCH LESS than when they made posts with links invisible to the search, that is something that is genuinely bad that has been long lasting but doesn't get brought up much in lists of the ways that tumblr has gone wrong)
Tumblr *is* changing, but I think it is changing more incrementally and less terribly than other parts of the internet. I also hate the floating clown, the login walls, the dash-only view for blogs (you can't archive it and I HATE that), and - to an extent - the new lightbox on mobile. And I dislike that less than I thought I would but I don't think it's a fundamental change that necessarily impacts my interactions with the site - it *adds* a feature that I don't care for but it doesn't *break* anything that I require to have a good time on tumblr - in that way I think of it very much like Live. People hate Live so much and I find that perplexing because it is so easy to simply ignore it.
But that's not really your question; that's just some stuff I want people to think about because as much as tumblr has changed in the last two years it is nowhere near as fucked up as the recent things that twitter and reddit have pulled.
So, as to your question: where do we go?
Well. Not to be an extremely old person on the internet, but damned if I don't miss email lists. And forums. God I miss forums. Neither of those things has all the bonuses of platforms like twitter or reddit or tumblr or facebook, but they were great ways to hang out with people you liked on the internet.
The internet is changing. I can feel it, you can feel it, I'm pretty sure we're all like cattle in a field lifting our noses and hearing some distant rumbling and becoming slowly aware that it's almost time to run. There's a coming stampede and it isn't here yet but you know it's on its way. You're not imagining that, that's how things feel right now and there are a shitload of things contributing to it.
Things like SESTA/FOSTA and KOSA (which has not passed yet but is a big red flag waving on the horizon) have been eroding away the way that users on various platforms can function. Some platforms have consolidated in ways that harm users; some new platforms have popped up and shaken up the map of the internet; some platforms are being torn apart brick by brick by owners who don't care about the users. It kind of seems like people are actually looking up and realizing that advertising is A) bad and B) doesn't actually work and I think we're running straight toward another advertising-based crash like we saw in 2017. It feels like all the desperate things that tumblr is doing is just rearranging deck chairs on the titanic as the internet as a whole starts to sink into the ocean.
Honestly, I don't think it's that bad. I think it *feels* bad, but I think we're looking at a slow whimpering death of the platforms, not a bang. I think tumblr is going to hang on at least for a few years and I think it's going to end up like livejournal and myspace, which both still exist as websites that are recognizable as updated versions of the sites they were in 2004-2010. The thing that I think would really, honestly hurt tumblr in a fundamental way is if it moved to a more algorithmic and data-sales based model of advertising, and I think that's still pretty distant. I think Automattic is aware that killing the chronological feed would be the one unforgivable sin that would cause a mass exodus and a final crash, and I think when we see that, when we can't just scroll through the feed and see what our friends did that day in order of when they did it, that's when the party is over here.
But that's still not answering your question.
So, where do we go? What do we do? Well, for now, I'd say it's a good time to get contact info for your friends across various platforms. Get email addresses, get phone numbers.
Now is also the time for you to set up a personal website. NeoCities is currently the best place to do this, though it takes a lot more effort than just starting a blog on tumblr. I think that various oldschool blogging sites like Wordpress and Blogger/Blogspot/whatever the hell the google one is are a better place to have your emergency backup than a more platform-y platform if you aren't up to doing something with NeoCities.
If you've got the ability to do so and a group of people who are interested in the same core subject, set up a forum. There's a decent amount of off-the-shelf forum software out there and a text-and-small-images forum isn't prohibitively expensive, but it's never going to be huge and you're never going to have the kind of spread and virality and random connections that you would on a platform with millions or billions of users.
If you can't set up a forum, setting up or joining a discord server for your friends is a decent enough option at the moment, and may be a very good option for people who are looking to keep their interactions more private.
But yeah i think right now is a great time for people to start setting up their own personal websites, to start visiting actual webpages again, to start bookmarking their friends' websites, and to start collecting contact info that isn't tied to platforms.
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So my inbox currently contains over 1,600 messages. I am getting Very Overwhelmed, apologies to everyone who is waiting for me to get back to them.
Something I have spotted, though, is that far too many of these have a common theme. Of the top thirty currently sitting at the top of my inbox, 19 are questions about haircare and the CGM. Of those, 12 are exactly the same question - namely, "Is co-washing just washing with conditioner instead of shampoo?" - which I have answered multiple times in multiple different posts, all of which are in my "Hair" tag (the answer is yes, please stop asking).
The other 7 are different hair questions - but, all but one is something I have answered before, in most cases more than once. Again, in my "Hair" tag.
Babes. Loves. Silly rabbits.
I did not sign up to be customer support for CGM.
Listen; I love you all! And I don't mind people asking me novel questions, even, within reason (although I am about to come to that)! But it is not my job to provide this information, and it is absolutely not my job, obligation, responsibility or anything else to keep writing out the SAME INFORMATION again and again and again. It is certainly absolutely not my pleasure to do so, either. I have explained how the method works now. I have explained the sorts of things to avoid. I have recommended CG friendly products. I have tagged all of this.
If you're going to ask me about this stuff, for the love of all that's holy, would you PLEASE look through my damn hair tag first and save me the increasingly stressful task of opening my inbox and seeing another five variants of the exact same already-answered question in a single day. I am not here to provide you a service. I'm here to do you a favour - PLEASE do me one, and check you aren't very literally wasting my time first. As I say, I am more than happy to answer novel questions on this! I'm also happy to clarify if I've worded something in a confusing way! But identical process questions for the seventeenth time in a week is starting to feel disrespectful.
But, I have to also say:
I am just Some Guy on the internet. I am not a professional. I have joked that I am not a Hairxpert, and you've all gone "Lol, yeah, not a Hairxpert, we get it - anyway, what products in America are good? What's your advice for <hair type you don't have?> If I live in an area with hard water (unlike you), what should I do?"
I am Not A Professional.
If you need specialist advice, YOU NEED TO GO AND FIND A SUPPORT GROUP. Buy the handbook, like I did! Go and find one of the hundreds of CGM websites that are free to use! Find a sub-Reddit! These will be full of people who actually are professionals, and will be able to answer these questions. I cannot tell you how best to adapt the method I use for type 4 curls, because I don't have those; you need a professional, or a support group with people who have type 4 curls. I cannot tell you the best styling and drying techniques for pixie cut curls, because my hair is down to my ass; you need a professional, or a support group of curly people with pixie cuts. I cannot tell you the best products to use on a remote island nation I have never even visited; you need a professional, or at the very least, a neighbour.
In fact, as an addendum to that last one, I have now been asked by six different people on separate occasions what my advice is for them because they live on "an island" and can't get the products I use and also can't get Amazon, and... guys!!!? How could I possibly answer that??? You haven't even told me which island, for one, but for quite another, if I'm not a hair expert, I'm certainly not an International Shipping To Remote Islands expert!!! What do you want from me?? I'm just some guy. Who uses a method. I can tell you the basics of it (which I have, extensively), and I can tell you what I personally do (which I have, extensively), and that's it. I have zero expertise beyond that. Anything else is information I would have to try and get from a support group of other people to report back, at which point, you bloody do it. I am not CGM customer support.
To reiterate - I truly, honestly, don't mind getting novel questions that I haven't already answered, or clarifying things that might be confusing; to be honest, it's not like I even massively mind someone going "I live in a desert, how could I combat dryness?". But if you ask me, a Welsh woman, a question like that, you're going to have to accept that my advice is, at best, going to be guesswork or second/third-hand information I once saw someone else mention online somewhere that I have now mostly forgotten if I ever truly saw it at all. Because I do not live in a desert, and I am not a professional.
ALSO A NON-HAIR POINT
I said at the start of this post that 19 of the top thirty messages in my inbox right now are hair questions. Five, though, follow a different pattern.
I imagine this is part of my follower count still exploding (I gained another three thousand of you since August, to give an idea; where the fuck are you all coming from?!? Really like grilled cheese adventures, huh), but I've started getting A LOT of messages from people who blatantly want to use me as a billboard to get their message out. Sometimes a serious message about a vital global issue, sometimes a relatively trivial one about a piece of media they want people to see, and anything in between.
I sympathise. I do understand. But I am not a billboard.
Apart from anything else, I just don't have the time to go fact checking and researching everything to make sure I'm being a Good Billboard, and it would be incredibly irresponsible of me to avoid that step and just blindly go "Sure, yeah, signal boost" and hit publish. If you send me one of these, I am unlikely to do anything with it, I'm sorry. It might put something on my radar, and make me more likely to pay attention when I see the issue being posted organically - when the Iranian protests began someone sent me a message asking me to reblog a particular user's post about it (not their own, it was a separate user). I didn't post that ask, but I did go and manually check the user in question's blog, found a good infographic post there about the protests, and I was able to reblog that. That was fine. But even then, if I hadn't had the time to do that (my life is very busy), that ask would have been buried.
Anyway, I don't want to discourage asks in my inbox generally, nor is this me yelling at anyone or telling anyone off. But with the hair thing in particular, I cannot go on like this pls take pity T_T
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@micheladee tagged me in the "post a couple paragraphs of your WIP" share-a-thon, so figured I'd go through my Word docs and see what I could find - thank you so much for the tag, Michela :)
Truth be told, if y'all will allow me to vent a bit first... it's been a bit of a shitter these last couple years, especially wrt getting any sort of writing done. Never mind with fics (of which I feel awful I've barely started anything new, even the WIP below is from last year) - but I've also been trying to finally write a novel of my own after realising I really, really want to... and the words just aren't coming. Whether it's because of fear of ridicule, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of financial stresses, fear of whatever... it's been really fucking rough since my spouse and I moved cross-country, and I've def been feeling ashamed at my lack of creative output :(
On the bright side, I'm getting some help with therapy and I'm doing a couple workshops to get me back into the swing of being creative so that I can tackle the work-life balance and not feel like the entirety of my (and my spouse's) survival rests squarely on my shoulders. Whether that means I'll be able to post any new work soon is up for debate, but honestly just taking these baby steps is better than nothing, so I'll take what I can get (and my body + mind can give).
And I know there's no "admission fee" to partake in fandom, but I still feel I'd be remiss if I didn't offer a huge apology for not positing fics recently, and especially for not commenting on fics y'all have made in these last several months - please believe me when I say I see y'all's work and it's great and makes me feel so many necessary things, even if I'm not able to type the words on AO3 atm.
Anyhow, just wanted to share an update with y'all and let you know I'm still here, still alive... just taking it one day at a time for now in order to keep my sanity strong!
Enjoy this little snippet of a WIP below, and I tag whoever so chooses to participate in this game - even if I'm quiet, I love seeing everything you lovely people write :D
When he was thrust back to reality in his own body, there was the usual disorientation that was to be expected of someone summoned through the dark arts. After all, if the infamous Thief King from 3,000 years ago had existed as a separate being before, there was no reason Malik’s other half couldn’t, too.
Except… Ryou Bakura hadn’t exactly planned for this extra passenger to crawl his way back from the shadows alongside the former spirit.
And what “Malik’s other half” – the phrase enough to make said individual gag – definitely hadn’t expected was for such confusion to be tainted by a profound sadness… one that had permeated his entire being for the last six months.
Or however long it had been.
Malik had gotten what he’d wanted, Ryou had gotten what he wanted, the Thief King had kind of gotten what he wanted – and all that “Malik’s other half” had gotten was a sense of displacement, dysmorphia and disdain.
“You know… he’s welcome to stay here, Malik.”
“You weren’t conscious during that damned duel fifteen years ago, host. Just be glad you weren’t privy to his cruelty firsthand.”
“He’s right, Ryou. You’ve done enough already. There’s no need to put yourself in more danger.”
“But there’s not much harm he can do now. I mean—"
“I can hear you all.”
Three pairs of eyes had greeted him when he’d first turned over on a – soft – bed. His hands had been bound, and he’d growled and snarled so much that he’d made Malik and the Thief King back up – but not the white-haired man in-between them.
“You probably have lots of questions right now. And…” The blush that formed on the man’s cheeks had sent a – strange – shiver down his spine, warming his bound wrists. “I’m sorry I don’t have many answers.”
He had merely hmphed at that, avoiding eye contact with his “main personality” and the thief who’d dared face him. Instead, he focused on the wide eyes of the man who must have been called—
“Ryou… it’s no use. We need to send him back before he does some real damage again.”
“Snap out of it, landlord. Just look at how he’s staring at you.”
But the man – Ryou – had just tilted his head and let loose a very small smile.
“What’s your name?”
#yami malik#yami marik#malik ishtar#marik ishtar#thief king bakura#thief king#ryo bakura#ryou bakura#deathshipping#ygo#yugioh#yu-gi-oh#my work#text
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20 questions game
Thank you @luthordamnvers for the tag!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
10 on AO3. many deleted on FF-net.
2. What’s your total AO3 words count?
309,689 which is like, wow, not that much. especially given that one story accounts for 105k of that.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
supercorp for AO3. i've definitely entertained the idea of writing for other fandoms, but haven't made it to an actually completed document yet. i've thought a LOT about writing for harlivy.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Mrs. & Mrs. Danvers, Fidelity, would you forget me (do i know you?), i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart), and What I Do When I Have Writer's Block. i have writer's block a lot.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i always try to respond to comments! i get that other people may not, so no judgment, but i figure if someone took the time to write to me, i can take the time to write back to them. it just seems like it fosters more community and the idea that we are all big fans, even just consumers, and appreciate artists of all types.
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
i don't really write angst ending fics, but i've fleshed out a somewhat angsty 'No Way Home' spider-man AU that is pretty angsty.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
probably i carry your heart. faster than a speeding date is also the closest i think i've ever come to fluff.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
it's not common, but it's happened. i try to remind people to engage with the content they want to read. everything is tagged on ao3. there really isn't an excuse to be reading 7 full chapters only to then leave a comment like 'i hated this.' then what are you doing here? and if someone is pointing out something they believe to be problematic in my writing, i do my best to fix it. i've had both bad faith and good faith comments, and i really appreciate the latter. m&m au is a bit of a tough one because the original movie is QUITE problematic. that's where i've gotten these comments the most.
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
like many, i'm sure, i've tried. i'm not sure if i've succeeded. i'm really impressed with the skills it takes to do so. i think people massively underestimate how hard and vulnerable it can be.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
i have never written a crossover.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
yes.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes.
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
no, but i think that would be really fun.
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
i've had a lot of ships that i'm going to list here: harry/ginny. snape/lily. jack/juliet. selene/michael. buffy/angel. buffy/faith. mulder/scully. alison/emily. santana/brittany. villanelle/eve. kara/lena. poison ivy/harley. adora/catra. i've never written as many fics for anyone as i have for supercorp, so i guess it would have to be that.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
there was this sex positive krypton/exchange student au prompt that i got so long ago, years ago, where i fell in love with the concept so much, i developed an entire original novel about it. the novel is absolutely a rip off of supercorp with different names because i didn't want to give DC my worldbuilding for krypton. i have about 60% of the plot written, but i am SO BAD at writing original stuff that i'm worried i'll never get it done. sometimes i've thought about just writing the god damn fanfic because at least then y'all would get to see it. i'm so obsessed with that story. it's absolutely insane.
16. What are your writing strengths?
i've been told action and dialogue. a kind of "movie like" description or pacing.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
i'm going to say the same thing as the person who tagged me: Actually writing.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
it would be really cool! i just don't speak any other languages well enough to write in. i don't mind people who want to translate at all though.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
harry/ginny. basic.
20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?
eternal sunshine au. i wrote it in less than 30 days, which has never happened again. and i felt like, even though i didn't at the time, that it actually captured both the essence of the movie and supercorp perfectly. it's one of those stories that is so HEAD canon to me, that sometimes i forget none of it happened in the show. i wish it had. i was so unimpressed by the explanation of why kara lied to lena, even though the 100th episode dangled the potential of it so close to our faces. in my mind, i just erase that, like my story, and imagine my version instead.
Tags, but no pressure: @littlemousejelly @shaolinbynature @coffeeshib @inkedroplets
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Nine People To Get To Know
Thank you @leahnardo-da-veggie for tagging me
Last song: The End of You by Sleater-Kinney because I love some 90's Riot Grrl punk.
Favorite Color: Green
Currently watching: I don't own a TV but I watch a lot of Youtube
Favorite Flavor: Well, as a former chef. I don't really have a favorite. I've ate so much different food from all over the world. Yeah, no idea.
Current Obsession: I don't really have one. My ADHD won't allow it.
Last thing I googled: How long does it take for someone to bleed out. I promise, I'm not a sociopath.
Favorite Season: Autumn
Skill I'd like to learn: I don't really think about it. I can write pretty well, I am a damn good cook, I used to play sports before I lost most of my right foot. Also, I do some C# and Python programming on the side, as a bit of a hobby.
Best Advice: Learn to write. Stop paying attention to advice and just write. Write, write, write, write, write. Any type of story--drabble, shorts, novellas, massive novels. Doesn't matter. Just write and learn to do it over and over and over again.
I don't think I am going to tag nine people. I've tagged, like, 40 people the past two days lol
But gonna tag a few.
@wyked-ao3 @ibuprofen-exe @bloodmoonloveletter @veradragonjedi @saltysupercomputer and an open tag for whomever!
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Fic Tag Game
Thank you so much for tagging me, @starwalkertales
How many works do you have on ao3?
30… I'm quite proud of the fact that I've made so many, and 29 of them in just 2½ years (granted, most of them are quite short, but there are a few longer ones in between)
2. What's your Ao3 word count?
272,066… Holy Force, according to a quick google search, that equates to about 3 average novels, damn.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Star Wars, mostly the prequel trilogy. I have two “older” Yu-Gi-Oh fics.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
1. Rain with 298 kudos. This is actually my newest story and in just a week after I posted it, it had overtaken all my other works (I guess people like it). It's cute fluffy and smutty obikin, where our boys get stranded and given a small but much-needed holiday.
2. ‘Com’Passion with 280 kudos. I can't hide the fact that my guilty pleasure is threesomes. This one is smut with a lot of emotion, involving two experienced masters (Mace and Obi-Wan) taking Anakin to their bed after he walks in on them.
3. Nanika the daughter of the Force with 279 kudos. This fic, where Anakin is sent back in time as a woman, is my baby and biggest challenge.
4. Hearts' desires with 263 kudos. Sweet, smutty obikin with too much plot, featuring Anakin and Obi-Wan's first time together.
5. All I want for Christmas with 211 kudos. This is last year's tooth-rottingly cute and fluffy Christmas fic, where Obi-Wan returns home and realizes he can't escape Anakin and Padmé's love.
5. Do you respond to comments?
Always! (It can sometimes take a few days if RL is demanding my attention) Commenting is the lifeblood of fandom, and it's through commenting that I've found many of my friends here.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Um, I have a few that could compete for that title... but I'd have to say Fallen, it's short, ambiguous and it hurts so much. I have others equally angsty, my very first SW fic In The End is also very angsty.
7. What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?
All I want for Christmas, it is just SO happy that it is nauseating (I got fluff poisoning writing it)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No, and I'm very grateful for that. I have a few people asking if I'm going to continue with Nanika soon... I will, promise!
9. Do you write smut? What kind?
Yes, I do... I don't know if it's a specific type... but it's not very kinky (I love reading all kinds of smut, I'm just not brave enough to write it yet)
10. Do you write cross-overs?
I have a few faint bunnies in deep freeze, but they're not very detailed and most likely won't be written… so no, but never say never.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nop, but I'm considering translating back one of my own stories at some point, just for the fun of it.
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
I have. I wrote The Jedi and the darksider together with my sweet heart Zolita. It was an inspiring and challenging experience to write Melany and Zaya's story.
14. What's your all time favourite ship?
Obikin (I can't deny it), BUT they are not my only love, and I will happily let them take a third to bed with them at any given opportunity.
15. What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Pirates of the Galaxy, and it is a damn shame!
16. What are your writing strength?
I've been told that I'm good at writing atmosphere, and admittedly, it's one of my favorite things to write, so it's not really surprising. Haunt me for a year is testament to that.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Dialogue... I struggle with it every single time, but I'm stubborn and will keep practicing so that maybe one day I'll feel like I've gotten good at it.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?Probably not dialogue, but I'm toying with the idea of writing spells in other languages, preferably old Sith, there's just not much known Sith language.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Yu-Gi-Oh, back in 2016 before I stumbled into the SW fandom and got lost in the galaxy far far away.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
I love them all, they all have a very special place in my heart and it is almost impossible to chose, but I will say Tave Jen’drajuna; the dark family is just… it is me.
I want to ad a bonus question.
21. What fic would you want to rewrite one day.
My very first long fic Light and darkness. I still love the idea of vampire Sith Anakin, but I was so inexperienced when I wrote it and even though I adore the story the writing could be better.
I will tag anyone who wants to do this, and also @fleetstreetfatality @prahacat @barmadumet @demon----dean @tideswept @briliantlymad @fangeek-girl @dark--whisperings @lilredghost and @knightjane if you have already been tagged or have answered, please just ignore me, and of course there is no pressure.
#fanfiction#Ao3 tag game#fandom#stars wars#writing#20 questions#+ 1#I realize this is shameless self-promotion… but well.#🤷
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Title: A Plan to Tinker With
Characters: Tony Stark, the Party, Joyce Byers, Jim Hopper, Suzie Bingham, Peggy Carter
Rating: Teen
Tags/Warnings: Season 4 Rewrite but with more Tony Stark, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Pre-Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Pre-Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, The Party as Family
Summary:
Tony’s halfway out the door when his pager goes off.
He digs the pager out of his pocket and glances at the shorthand message, from Suzie Bingham no less, and promptly decides that he can be even more fashionably late to Jan’s little shindig, even if she’s going to kill him for the cheek. Bingham’s not the type to reach out unless absolutely necessary and she’s been off-the-grid for a hot minute anyway; if she’s reaching out to his personal pager instead of through the usual channels...well, he’s not going to ignore that.
In March of 1986, Tony gets a message from a friend and decides to answer it, not realising it'll completely warp his understanding of physics and the world. He does know that he's probably going to get shot at though.
If he finds a ride-or-die family along the way, then that's pretty cool too.
Notes: I was catapulted into the ST fandom but the Marvel brainrot is never-ending. As I methodically raged through what felt like every damn Steddie fic in the history of fic, I took a side detour in the crossover tab for funsies and read Just Gonna Change the World by @deehellcat. After about twelve reads/rereads, a thesis of a comment because I have absolutely zero chill, and brainrot about the fic itself, this remix was born!
So, er, yeah, thanks deehellcat, for 1) allowing me to remix your Tony Stark Bingo brainworm and 2) suffering my novel-length screaming in your comment section LMAO. If it's any consolation, it was done because---I reiterate---I am absolutely obsessed with your fic and the how the timeline of these two fandoms mesh (ha) so well together.
As expected, a remix is a remix so I'm taking a few detours from the fantastic source material(s), but overall it's pretty much the same starting premise. And pretend that our poor unfortunate friend Agent Wallace held out another hour or so because let's be real here: it takes a lot more time than it did on the show to track down a top-secret computer location, even in 1986. Also, I'm fixing the Duffer Brothers' time goofs because I'm still baffled by that.
Anyway, let's get started. Oh my goodness this is so exciting; my first-ever remix and first crossover in over ten years! Once again, thanks deehellcat!
#stranger things#marvel#tony stark#the party#fanfiction#i am obsessed with deehellcat's fic i'm SERIOUS#rowan writes
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Hi! I'm really late to the ASOUE fandom, so I'm happy that there are still some great fanblogs around. I loved reading through yours. I wanted to ask what you think of the Netflix series and the movie in relation to the novels. Apologies if you've already answered this question!
Also (and slightly related) do you have any Jacques Snicket headcanons for the book or the Netflix character? I never really noticed him in the novels but I loved him (probably Nathan Fillion) in the show.
Thank you <3
welcome to asoue fandom! i’ve been a fan of these books since they were first published and didn’t get involved in fandom until after the netflix series had finished, so it’s never to late, and i’m glad you enjoyed my blog!
i have talked about my thoughts on the netflix adaptation (i forget which tag i used, i was trying to use a consistent one for that at some point…), but i love talking about adaptations and how they work and i’m always happy to talk about it some more!
i saw the movie when it came out, and i don’t remember feeling very strongly about it one way or another, which says something because 2004 would be around the peak of me obsessively rereading the books so i should have cared a lot. i mostly remember really liking violet’s costume in an objective, aesthetic sense and also feeling it was deeply deeply wrong for the tone of the books/how things looked in my head. i’ve only rewatched it once since then with lemony snicket’s commentary track, which is just absolutely delightful, so i’m afraid i don’t have much to say about it.
i think the netflix show is a good adaptation with some things i will go to my grave mad about. i love the visuals, it’s the exact right amount of fantastical and timeless. it’s the right amount of funny while still having moments of intense seriousness. i love the musical numbers in season 2. i love what they did to change the vibe of this being a tv show so it shouldn’t exist in a world driven by books like the books do. i love the addition of the recurring adult characters.
since you asked about jacques snicket, i really love how they re-conceived that character to be a suave, james bond-y, spy type. i think it serves the rest of the changes they made really well. i enjoy his relationship with olivia and larry the waiter. i love the dynamic he has with olaf. i will die mad that they didn’t give him a unibrow. we deserve otherwise conventionally attractive jacques snicket with a unibrow. it’s thematically important damn it!
book!jacques snicket, who we only really get to know through his letters in the unauthorized autobiography and quigley’s memories, will always be the jacques snicket of my heart, but i can love both.
also still mad about the opera night. it is absolutely thematically critical that the viewer not know what happened, and what you gain isn’t enough to offset that. also wish we had gotten more morally grayness from vfd. i really love how the organization is introduced in season 1 and 2, but it never got to evolve into being about how kind, well meaning people can do horrible things either because of their own flaws or because of intractable circumstances, and we all have to live with that because it’s part of the human condition.
i don’t have any netflix!jacques head canon, except that in the fictional version of the show that i got to have input in, olivia learns that he’s done really difficult to rationalize things from the snicket file and that puts her in a much more similar to book!olivia’s mindset when the baudelaire’s meet her at the carnival.
i have lots of book!jacques head canons. i think i’ve talked about most of them before but these are my favorite: 1, jacques looks almost exactly like lemony but is several inches shorter and 2, jacques is the least committed to vfd of his siblings, and he will always put the safety of the people he loves (but especially lemony) over the greater good.
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bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme ):)
template by @fiercynn, tagged by @hereforlou! this is exciting, thank you so much for tagging me <3
name and whatever you want to share about yourself
i'm (na)tasha, a freelance artist from eastern europe, i really love mountains, lemons, teal colour and when it's hot as hell outside. you might know me from c-drama/novel fandoms - that's what i mostly draw on my main blog (which i'm being weirdly secretive about, but if you want to know the url you can message me about it off anon)
when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?
episode 5 was trending on here and a mutual who abandoned tumblr almost completely suddenly came back to reblog like 15 rooftop kiss gifsets in a row, scream in tags and then disappear again which made me go huh. what's all this then. lemme check out the first episode. and then by the time episode 6 aired a few days later i'd been already all caught up (can't remember exactly but since i have a tendency towards binge-watching i have a suspicion i watched all five episodes nearly in one sitting). for some personal reasons i'd rather not get into i never got a chance to create anything back then when it was airing and after, and so here i am finally joining the fandom more than a year later!
favorite ship(s)
(apart from the obvious) 📢📢📢TONGYOD📢📢📢 !!! also i was never big on crossover ships but then our skyy 2 happened and altered my brain chemistry
favorite character(s)
sometimes it's pran, sometimes it's pat. i don't control the part of my brain that decides which one of them to hyperfixate on out of the blue
favorite episode(s)
(again, apart from the obvious) i really love episodes 2-4 where they get to reunite and just hang out with each other. i love you bus stop shenanigans. also episode 11 because i'm a sucker for beach episodes, especially when they are mellow and bittersweet
favorite scene(s)
episode 8 balcony scene my beloved. inkpa darkroom confession scene and the way love's voice was trembling as she was on the verge of crying. also that bit in episode 11 where pat wakes up alone, goes out and sees pran playing the guitar outside and pran turns to greet him and SMILES SO SO BIG ugh my heart is doing somersaults as i'm typing this
one thing you would change about the show if you could
put pat in crop tops. cmon
what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?
any of the artworks by @thatgothsamurai, but especially this one
any of the artworks by @shikanji, but especially this one
any of the artworks by @hereforlou, but especially this one
any of the artworks by @kornswasianguyswag, but especially this one
this fanvid, the best fanvid ever that i've accidentally stumbled upon when searching up "bad buddy same page" (i think i was looking for the mock trailer lol)
this fic by @oldlace
this fic by @aroceu
and a special shoutout to all the wonderful gifmakers and meta writers, you guys are the real mvps <3
(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?
well, i haven't drawn much bbs fanart yet, but from the ones i've done so far i especially love this inkpa
also pls look at this korn i drew in the bbs discord server
a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)
does same page count if it technically wasn't in the show ah no wait pat sang it in episode 12 damn it ok this one i guess
youtube
idk anything else you want us to know?
this show's name in my native language is a pun that i can't explain
unfortunately i don't really know anyone in this fandom yet (unless.. @aroceu have you done this thing?), so i'm not tagging anyone, but if you're reading this and you really want to do this, you can say i tagged you!
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writer interview
tagged @bardic-inspo (*´▽`*) thank u my friend these are so fun
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
3 lol. eventually i'll post more. probably. maybe
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
100,989 (not counting the original "draft" of wicked turns because a lot of that got reused in the current version)
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
girl (gender neutral) i don't even have 5 fics total... top kudos though is wicked turns :')
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
yes!!!! comments are so nice and they let me know i am not posting into a void and that other people are actually interested in what i'm writing!!!! if you have ever left a comment on anything i wrote you have such a special place in my heart and you make me so happy!!!!!!!
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
haven't finished it yet but it's going to be drowning lessons :)
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
also have not finished it but everyone in how to win friends will come out SO happy and well-adjusted. it's at a good little stopping point for now and i might skip into act 2 for the next chapter/s... idk it doesn't really have a plot it's just me giving myself like. writer aftercare from the stuff in drowning lessons or wicked turns fjgdfjjfdgj
7. Do you write crossovers?
not anymore but if you know the ancient piri lore of when i did tumblr rp......... the harley quinn/norman bates "it started out as a joke and now we're really invested" ship still makes me go insane from time to time...... i have a type and it is unhinged men who fall for somehow even more unhinged women
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
nah
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yes. the kind where i get wine drunk or have an edible and then scream into my hands after typing each word because i hate writing smut but damn if it ain't relevant to the storyline
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
no but i HAVE had my peebles art stolen/reposted on at least one site
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
nope
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
if you count tumblr rp as co-writing fic, then yes
13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
ough. waugh. how can i choose between my beautiful children
14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
yeah so i have. the loose outline of a peebs fic. and it has been rolling around in my brain for years and years and years. but in order to truly do it justice i feel like it would be a full-on multi-issue comic series and the last time i tried making a graphic novel-style work (shoutout to princess huntress, your worldbuilding lives on but i'll never finish you) i got maybe 8/100+ pages done and then spiraled into art burnout for like 4 years
15. What are your writing strengths?
i like to think i am good at writing horror and gore teehee <3
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
sex scenes...... i don't like writing it, i don't like publishing it, i am ehhhh about reading it, but again, damn if it ain't relevant to the storyline
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
don't trust google translate. just use <> or whatever if you don't know the language.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
batman (stares wistfully out the window for 10 hours)
19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?
i REALLY want to write a skyrim long-ish fic. i have so many thoughts on it. there would be two LDBs (amma and sigg). both of them are cursed by daedra but in wildly different directions
20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
wicked turns :)
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Jeanne VnC, Emi MP100, and Mana GGGnK :3
Send me a character!
Hoo boy, here I go... I'm playing VnC OSTs as I type this.
Under the read more because this got super lengthy.
Jeanne (Vanitas no Carte)
First impression: Ohh she's badass!
Impression now: MY GIRL AAAAA PLEASE BE HAPPY
Favorite moment: WHEN!! SHE!! SMILES!! At that part Vanitas was stunned and I was like "damn me too bro", also the DomiJeanne dance because I ship them too
Idea for a story: Honestly I don't know? I think VnC is still far from being over so there are still a lot of things that could happen. This story is very unpredictable anyway. That said, I want to see Jeanne hanging out casually with Chloe and Jean-Jacques again...I just wanna see them happy together again.
Unpopular opinion: I don't know, I'm not into the fandom and don't engage with them.
Favorite relationship: I like VaniJeanne, but I also like DomiJeanne!
Favorite headcanon: Everyone in VnC is bi/pan unless specified otherwise, that includes Jeanne too. This is a headcanon that I see every now and then in the tag and my favorite so far to the point I apply it to other series other than VnC as well lol.
Emi (Mob Psycho 100)
First impression: She's so cute!!
Impression now: My favorite girl in MP100, surpassing Tome and Tsubomi. She may not get to appear much, but her character arc singlehandedly blew me away (and the anime made it much better). I love her.
Favorite moment: After the gorgeous scene of Mob reassembling her novel, she went to make a story inspired by Mob and that just made me soooo happy :")
Idea for a story: There really isn't a whole lot of room for her character, is it? I want her to be more involved in the story, but MP100 is not a story about her and she's, unfortunately, probably not that relevant in Mob's life as much as I wanted her to be. My idea is that I think I just want Emi and Mob to meet again and talk casually like friends. I know, I know they did talk briefly in S3EP3, but what I mean is after the end. I want Emi and Mob to meet again, then Emi realized how much Mob has changed compared to when they met for the first time, then they become good friends with no hard feelings. May be an opportunity for Emi to sort out her feelings for Mob as well, whether what she feels for him is romantic or platonic.
Unpopular opinion: There really isn't much discussion about her, so I haven't seen anything that causes me to think of something unpopular. I think if I have to state a general annoyance of how the fandom treats her, is that she's often shoved aside in favor of another character and more popular ship, but that doesn't really count.
Favorite relationship: MobEmi, whether it's romantic or platonic. I also have been thinking about Tsubomi/Emi a lot too.
Favorite headcanon: Tbh I very rarely adapt headcanons from fandoms unless it's something I really really like, but if there's one headcanon of Emi that falls into such category, then it'll be Emi recognizing tropes and genres and all that stuff because she's a writer. So if she sees 100% Courage Mob, Emi is like "why are you suddenly like a manga protagonist?!". It's a headcanon made by one of my favorite artists in the past, but it's still very funny to me.
Mana Inuyama (Gegege no Kitaro 2018)
First impression: PleasedontbelikeYumekopleasedontbelikeYumeko---
Impression now: I LOVE HER SO MUCH!! MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER I WILL DIE FOR YOU!!
Favorite moment: Honestly Mana is such a great character, a lot of her moments are just amazing. I think I like her moments in EP20 (it's also one of the best episodes in the GGGnK), EP66, The Final Arc, and...her role in the entire Nanashi Arc (the first season). The Nanashi Arc in particular still stands out for me, god that was a rollercoaster. And in the final arc where she willingly sacrificed her memories for Kitaro? I cried so hard at that part. I love her, I'm so glad she's very well-developed and gets to play a lot of active roles in the plot.
Idea for a story: Gegege no Kitaro (2018) already feels like such a complete story, with a perfect feel-good ending too, so I'm not sure if I have any idea for it. I think I want an episode entirely dedicated to them hanging out again in a pure fluff episode, a similar vibe to EP94, explaining the photograph sent on the end screen of the final episode. That would be great, I just want to see the main 2018 trio be together and happy.
Unpopular opinion: I...don't know? I'm not too engaged with the fandom, so I have no unpopular opinion of her.
Favorite relationship: Kitaro-Mana-Neko Musume, they are a set do not separate!!
Favorite headcanon: It's less of a headcanon and more of a just little idea, but since Mana and Neko Musume are very well-versed in "modernity", I like the idea of them teaching all kinds of modern languages and slangs to Kitaro. Kitaro doesn't like it at all.
#personal#long post#mayoigotokurousagi#thank you so so much <33 i had lots of fun answering all of these!#i ended up rambling a lot hahah but what's new#i just read vnc vol 10 so the series is kinda fresh again in my mind#but i really miss gggnk aaaaaa i wish i could watch the upcoming movie#anyway thank you so much again!!
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top ten moments where I want to draw narrator at the most random times just because I like drawing random big blob shapes which he is in my design for them therefore is my excuse to draw the shapes is answered, also I love drawing eyes for no reason and he has one eye and damn eyeliner so why not y'know, anyways time to do my 10:33 pm tired analysis on the narrator post by memory and making theories and ideas for people
few tw in tags for below
cartoony transition sound effect, uuuuh the thing below yyyea
so essentially he is this omnipresent incorporeal being in the game who made an oc to cope with stress from his omnipresent voice job but is definitely gay for his oc like everyone is with their as one point (I'm a stanarrator shipper, so if you think of anything else then ignore all romantic things with him and Stanley alr? just in case you dislike/do not like the ship or have another one!) is going to be the summarary
what I imagine is that in the narrator's world, either a he is a literal entity with a midwage job, b a old, around early to mid 40s guy in a midwage office job he Is slowly going braindead in, or c he is both, no I'm not explaining c
Narrator is a writer in his spare time and is working on a novel, but has writers block, so he decides to create a character based off his life and experiences. He always had liked the name Stanley, so he chose that for their name. Stanley would be an average guy of course, because you can do anything with that. But what would his story eb about? Every story needs a plot, or drive for the main character, which is Stanley. So he thought of his job, his endless, mind ending job. He imagined scenarios for it. So he began to write. Stanley worked at a job like his, and was also employee 427, though didn't look like narrator of course. You can't make a story with you at the center, that's just weird, unless your writing a personal story you had.
So he begins the story with a simple explanation. He thought of his co-workers, like Johnathan, and hammie, or was it Jammie? He wasn't sure, narrator never exactly interacted with his coworkers. He thought they judged him behind his back. He wished they could disappear sometimes, and something clicked. All of Stanley's coworkers disappeared! But Stanley was close with his, so this wasn't good. Now the story is at two doors, but that really stumps narrator. He based it off his actual office slightly, remembering the two doors he has used to go to work. Then he thought of multiple endings for the book. And he started writing each and every ending. Narrator's favourite was, as he called it, the freedom ending. This was where he, Stanley of course, pushed the off button in the mind control room after traversing through the story. He liked imagining Stanley could also talk to narrator, yes, that would be nice.
Stanley and him would get along very well, as the narrator would think. Stanley was very socially nervous when it came to talking sometimes, he imagined that if he had talked with Stanley, Stanley would first nervously talk. So he decides Stanley wouldn't have speaking parts, but he would imply Stanley... Possibly spoke. Anywho, narrator continued writing, adding instructions at the beginning and re-reading, re-writing it until it was practically perfect.
Meanwhile though, narrator had bearly even moved from his desk at worked, never typing in commands. Everyone started getting worried for him as the narrator continuously kept obsessing over this one story. Anytime he spoke to someone, he would say something like "Oh! Yes, my novel I'm writing! Stanley is one of the best character is I know personally." Or, "Stanley is perfect of course my my story."
Nobody ever even asked about this, so it began to get a big concerning as the narrator, well, he never even told anyone his real name, he just told them all to refer to him by that. Anyways, the narrator continually became more and more obsessed, explaining each ending with mroe detail each time, and starting to act as if this Stanley character was real.
But soon he didn't go to work as much.
He claimed he was making a game for it, and how everyone would love it. His co workers were.. a bit more relieved, discovering he was a narrator for the game. They thought maybe, he was getting in character of course! Nobody is that obsessed with one story!
Oh how they were wrong of course. But they didn't see it. They started giving criticism, not knowing how harshly the narrator takes this. Every time a coworker reccomended something, he would say something along the lines of, "WHAT?! BUT- But there's no way I would write something bad! I mean- this- this part was perfect!"
And then he stopped showing up for work.
The game was released, but he was missing. Why? He was just continuously playing the game. He turned the narration off first, and narrating Stanley personally as he played, moving Stanley around and controlling him like he heard the narrator. Narrator felt like a close friend of Stanley, like Stanley was his everything. He practically was of course! Stanley helped him do something he never imagined, making a game for his OWN story! He just wanted to hug Stanley, and go out for drinks with him, mabye even-
... well narrator couldn't do that of course. Reality finally setted in as he realized. He practically fell in love with this ai, this husk, this- this simply shell of a being made to be controlled. He has centered his whole life around this, even fired from his own job for god's sake! But he can't let go now, no, the game was like a drug to him. He couldn't let go now, just a few moree hours of playing! It's fine!
Which turned to days.
Which turned to weeks.
And then months.
Narrator was known as crazy by now, but not known for creating the game. If someone even looked at him, he began talking about the game. "Oh yes! I just had another adventure with Stanley today! We followed the line TM around the office, it was SUCH fun! Such funny adventures we have, me and him."
But then he really was suddenly gone.
Narrator fell into a coma.
And he layed on his apartments floor.
And the game off.
When suddenly, a voice just plays from the speakers.
"This is a story of a man named Stanley."
Your probably thinking, oh! He went INTO the game!
No. He's in a coma from not getting neutrients or sleep for weeks on end, lying on the floor, in a forever dream stasis.
anyways that's it just realized I basically wrote a fanfic by mistake ejhhhoopsie!!!
I accidentally put a link thing so ignore it I don't know how to remove it
#The Stanley parable#Tsp#Tsp narrator#Narrator tsp#Narrator analysis kinda#In a way#tsp stanley#tspud#the stanley parable#god this took forever#But I lover TYPING IT AUUUUTH#NO IM NOT REDOING THIS#AND I KNOW ITS DEPRESSING#drug reference tw#Alcohol tw?#Starving self tw??#That's about it#Stay safe gays#/POS#stanley parable#stanarrator#tsp narrator
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Good morning! Okay, so I tend to also make new year's resolutions in July for my birthday (because it's a new year for me). Usually that involves a lot of big plans, that tend to fall apart before the week is out, much less the month. But, I am determined that this is going to be my year. My biggest goals are to finish revising my damn novel and get it published. And to finally get myself better organized.
For the revision, I'm fairly confident that I've got the plot hammered out. Now I'm mostly dealing with "talking heads in a featureless void." I basically told myself the story with dialogue. Now I get to go back and add descriptions/setting/action/emotional impact/inner thoughts. Flesh this thing out and make it "pretty". (Well, the world these people live in is NOT pretty. They may rule the city, but they do so from the shadows, and their world can be brutal.)
For getting myself organized, I'm making my own planner using printables, nice paper, discs from a Happy Planner, and a special hole punch. See, I keep buying planners, but then they don't work for me. This way, I can completely customize it exactly to be useful to me. Everything I need, and nothing I don't. And change it up on a whim, just by printing different sheets for it. I so far have printed out a calendar and habit tracker for July. I'm going to also print out a weekly goals page, a week-at-a-glance type planner page, a weekly cleaning schedule, and daily planner pages. Along with some fun things, like a reading log, and movie/TV show log. I also haven't found a template for it, but I want to make project planning pages, where I break big projects (like my revision, getting myself organized, etc) into smaller chunks, just to have one place to view total progress, plus a list of steps to keep me from getting overwhelmed. Anyway, tomorrow's project (other than laundry, ugh) is to get this thing put together. I need to download Gimp to my new computer to get my covers put together. That's gonna be fun.
Anyway! I have other things I want to work on, but those are the big ones. I'll pe posting weekly updates, so block or mute the bella gets organized tag if you don't want to know how this is going. And Sangue Collina if you aren't interested in my revision. I'll post the updates on each separately, so you can still follow one without the other.
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My brother in Christ, maybe you should try to only answer asks when you're sober, because holy fuck. A single polite ask didn't warrant a God damn novel about the evils of asking people to tag content. You could have just said no. Also, you're using the term "emotional labor" incorrectly.
Ok, now that I am sober:
Maybe I got a little more wordy about it than I should have last night, but I'm still right. I don't owe anyone tags, and it's a toxic social norm on tumblr to act like other people are supposed to do 90% of the work on dealing with your own problems.
I'm not using "emotional labor" incorrectly. Instead of curating your own experience or accepting that social media sites will make you uncomfortable sometimes (and that that isn't a bad thing), you're expecting other users to blog on eggshells around you and consider whether you might find something upsetting and then type tags about it.
Fuck off with even "ironic" Christian bullshit.
Asking for something unreasonable and presumptuous in a "polite" tone doesn't actually make the request polite.
Additionally, there's a difference between a personal microblog--on a site where people mostly reshare content--and sites or platforms where people primarily create content for an audience. If I'm creating something like a fic on AO3 or an image on Pixiv, I will tag that, for discoverability and to tell people about it. But if I'm resharing stuff, the only thought process is "hey that's neat." Basically, when I create something for an audience, I have a responsibility to that audience, of sorts. (How much responsibility is another topic of discussion.) Here on tumblr, I don't necessarily want an audience. I used to want all the followers and fame, but I don't anymore. I also don't want to make my blog super searchable for algorithms, corporate overlords, or people who get a suspicious amount of self-gratification from making callout posts.
Now, if a mutual were to ask nicely, that's a situation where I value the relationship, so I'd be more willing to tag. But a stranger coming along and asking me to do extra work because they just think something is yucky? Nah. People need to learn to be emotionally uncomfy sometimes, and to become comfortable with that dissonance. Also, I don't owe them that labor. And when someone's first interaction with me is basically negging my blog, I don't want to do it out of goodwill, either.
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OC lightning round: do you have an OC tag? who’s your favorite OC? what OC have you had the longest? are there small details about your OCs people wouldn’t imagine?
Oh dang, thank you for the questions!! I'll do 'em one by one because...I have so many kids...
do you have an OC tag?
Sort of?? I use "oc crap" for general OC stuff in general, but each OC also has their own individual tag and the tag for the piece of media they're from. For example, my tiefling fighter has the "valtish" tag as well as "fortune's favor" because that's her campaign name; likewise, posts about my WIP protagonist usually have "alex sheffield" as well as "seven cities". It's not...entirely organized, but it does what it needs to!
who's your favorite OC?
Ah, the sacrilege of choosing a favorite child LMAO. Most of my OCs are interesting to me for largely different reasons, but the one I find myself repeatedly falling back on is my novel protag, Alex! She's my gruff-spirited, isolationist, too-ambitious-for-her-own-damn-good sailor type, who is on a mission to make something of her life for once. Preferably, something permanent. I find myself returning to her and her story much more regularly than anyone else. (Mostly because I have full creative control of it, to be fair.)
what OC have you had the longest?
This one will also be Alex! I made her long before I got involved with any other piece of media that prompted me to make more OCs, and she had influence on a number of characters that came later. (This is, of course, ignoring the fact that I have a handful of even older OCs going back to my middle school days, because they aren't actively a part of anything I'm working on right now.)
are there small details about your OCs people wouldn’t imagine?
This sounds like an invitation for a Fun Fact list, so I'm going to indulge it! Under a cut, for sanity.
Seven Cities
Alex - Has a somewhat impulsive habit of swiping little trinkets from the places she's been. It's usually not anything noteworthy or expensive; she just finds satisfaction in being sneaky and clever.
Tahir - Can't aim powder weapons for shit. He blames his eyesight, but he's never been good at it.
Davin - Notoriously hates things like dice games that are pure chance, but is also weirdly not too fond of pure strategy games like chess. He'd be great at it! He just doesn't find it fun.
Finn - Likes Alex well enough; doesn't quite think she's good enough for Adelina for a long, long time.
Adelina - Can drink Alex under the table. Which, like, low bar, but it's pretty funny when the sailor's in his cups and Adelina's just getting warmed up.
Jonathan - Has a few very secret, very well-hidden journals that have snippets of story ideas that he would like to write one day. He won't, because he's not an especially gifted writer, but he dreams, sometimes.
Myrine - Has a massive weakness for sweets. For all that you can't buy her affection, you can sure as shit bribe her! (Within reason.)
D&D
Valtish Ankara - Afraid of heights. Still regularly jumps on top of big monsters to stab them SOTC style. Is probably going to have to fly on dragonback next session and is fully ready to Hate It the whole time.
Fizz Ippkin - Extremely friendly! Loves people! Goes to all sorts of parties! Has never had much more than fairweather friends. She's totally fine about it, though!*
(*she isn't)
Wyn Bannon - A grave cleric healer, in that she sometimes lets people make bad choices before healing them so that they can, you know, learn something from the experience. Very, "I'm a healer, but -" in many ways, lmao.
Esme Marshcote - Despite her "chase your bliss" attitude and her general nonchalance about....everything...., Esme is also extremely easily heartbroken. She nurses it for a long time, and holds a grudge.
FFXIV
Tritchet Pock - Fully a garbage disposal when it comes to food. There's very little out there that she won't try, and try in excess. Likes spicy food a lot. Blames her dragoon's soul and training for both; is believed by no one.
Thank you again for the questions!!! <3
#frenchy replies#oc crap#seven cities#d&d#fortune's favor#the hupperdook crew#ffxiv oc#now you get to see my tags in action LMAO#alex sheffield#adelina carrillo#tahir#davin#finn#jonathan mauntell#myrine#valtish#the fizz tag#wyn bannon#esme marshcote#tritchet pock#this was a lovely surprise!! sorry it took so long lmao#the wyn tag#the esme tag
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Girl of My Dreams: Chapter 1
Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader / SUGA x Reader
Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Soulmates (?). Age gap.
Summary: Every one has always wondered why Yoongi was good with words especially when it comes to the topic of love. It wasn't a question of why, but who. Who made him think of love that way? Who was his muse? Who was the muse that always made Yoongi smile like he won the damn lottery? Who made him laugh even in situations where he had to be serious? If you ask him, he'll just smile and blush, but if you ask the other members they would smile at Yoongi then look at you and start giggling like gossiping high schoolers.
Warning(s): Sentences in italics are English words translated to Korean (that sounded confusing but I said what I said). Cursing. Underage reader at one point (Yoongi didn't know and tried to ask her out)... Spoiler lol. Mentions of MC being tipsy. A bit of angst at the end. UNEDITED!
Word count: 4.5k
A/N: The summary was really the idea or the question that came to mind, though we all know that Yoongi is undeniably a genius in any topic you throw at him, his idea of love is always what gets me. And his part in Girl of My Dreams sparked my thoughts - he's a hopeless romantic. Other might think he's very serious and cold but I think he's very romantic and sweet, even at times clingy. For now here's my idea on how it would be if he had a muse - which one day, of course, will happen when he gets married to his s/o and have kids they would be the lucky ones because they're his muses in life.
Enjoy this one!!!
P.S: this is my 2nd fanfic for BTS lol and I became an Army during the Dynamite era (though I knew them since I saw For You and Idol). sorry if some of the facts are a bit off. Do feel free to correct me but please remember that this is a fanfic, some stuff are meant to be different!! 😅💜
Please don't forget to leave a like, reblog this story and please leave a feedback. Please don't be a silent reader🥺! My ask box is also open as well as my permanent taglist if you wanna get tagged for future stories. There are probably more parts after this, just ask if you wanna be added to the taglist ;)
aaand... Happy, Happy Birthday to the best of the best, our one and only Min Yoongi (lil meow meow). We love you. Stay healthy💜 Borahaeeeeee
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"Y/n?" I call to her and she hums in question looking up from her book.
"Do you think I would sound cool if I sing?" ask her twirling my ballpen in my fingers, I stopped myself from murdering the button to click it open and close repeatedly out of being nervous.
Her pouty lips curl inwards to stop herself from laughing and she shut her eyes as she removes her glasses.
"Be honest, please," I beg with a smile already knowing the answer but I wanted to hear her voice she's been quiet ever since she sat on the couch in my studio and hid behind the pages of her book, a romance novel. All I could hear when I put my headphones away were the quiet humming of the air conditioner and humidifier, and her flipping pages on her book.
"I mean, I know I don't sound like Jin hyung or Jimin, or Taehyung or even Jungkook," I explained "Even Namjoon and Hoseok sound good when they're singing," she snort laughs and starts giggling hiding her face in between the book, "I can carry a tune, I'm a rapper, I can sing just not as amazing as the vocal line!" I exclaim and she guffawed "Ya~! I'm serious!" I tease her though she knows I'm not serious.
"Sugs," she starts but ends up sniggering again. She been calling me that ever since we debuted, went to America and met her for the first time and I told her my rapper name or stage name is SUGA. She pronounces it Shoo-g-s, just like SUGA but she replaced the A with an S. It all started when she was texting Namjoon to tell me her email and she typed 'Please pass it to Sugs' and followed up with an email saying 'I meant Suga* :)'. Namjoon started teasing me after that which lead to all of them agreeing that they'll only call me that when Y/n was not around, which was often. But after a while the teasing stopped but it didn't stop them from calling me Suga hyung or just Suga which was alright.
"Sugs," she tries to control her laughter "I like the idea of you singing, trust me,"
"But no?" I chuckle "Is that it?"
"But no," we both end up laughing. We've had memories of hanging out with friends drinking and singing. Yes, singing. And usually, Hobi, Jin hyung and Y/n were the ones who would laugh like hyenas in the corner of the room crying their eyes out when Namjoon sings out of tune and makes me join him.
And like the goofball I am around her, I do a spin on my chair started belting out the chorus to Just One Day causing her to double over in laughter on the couch behind me.
Doing another spin from where I was at the desk, I stop to look at her before continuing my singing, getting up and walking to her. When someone knocked on the door to the studio. I immediately stop not wanting anyone else to witness what just happened and look down at Y/n who was wiping her tears.
In so many ways fate was very kind to introduce me to Y/n, she was a combination of all the members but there was one thing that about her that made me think she was my soulmate and made me fall in love with her.
She was the one who made me realize that I didn't have a heart made of stone, that I deserve love just like any body else in this world and she taught me... love. How love is, how love should be and how to love. But she never taught me how to love her, not just as a friend but something more. Much more.
"Hyung," Jungkook's voice calls from the other side of the door "It's Jungkook,"
"I know, kid," I answer him with a chuckle as I open the door.
"Oh dear, God," Jungkook exclaims as he turns "Y/n, what are you doing here? I thought you were on a vacation. You look scary under your onesie, you scared the living shit outta me."
"I am on vacation," she grins "Destination was Genius Lab"
"Ahh..." Jungkook nods then turns to me "You texted me?"
"Yeah, hand this over to Namjoon when you see him in the gym," I hand him a flash drive and he just nods, "Will do. Anything else?" I shake my head and say thank youas he says goodbye to Y/n and leaves.
"Wanna go somewhere?" I ask her as I turn off my computer.
"Please tell me 'somewhere' has good food." she laughs
"I heard the chef's pretty good," I bite my lip
"Mhmm" she nods grinning "Is he a genius?"
I scoffed hiding my smile "Definitely."
"Then let's go," she smiles closing her book to put in her bag and waits for me to stand up to leave. We both leave my studio a d head for the elevator when I hear her sigh as she turns to me, and asks through her purple face mask, "Can you believe it? I mean it's been years since the building has been up but it's like what? My fifth time inside here?"
"Believe what?"
"That you're here? Right now?" she says as we both get on the elevator and I push the button to the basement parking "When we first met, you guys were in LA doing your laundry and you said you guys were handing out tickets AND you had a challenge, that was not included in American Hustle Life sadly, to flirt with me and ask me out on a date"
"Which failed, obviously" I laugh "I was young, but so were you. Damn it, I thought you were my age. Imagine my shock when I found out you were Jungkook's age."
She laughs loudly in the tiny space of the elevator as the door opens to the basement parking and we both walk out.
"You were a jailbait" I tease her "My heart plummeted to the ground and Taehyung said I looked like my balls shriveled up my body when you said you were Jungkook's age and showed manager-nim your ID" she holds on the wall beside my parked car as she laughs some more.
"You could've sent my ass to jail, woman!" I tease her some more to make her laugh, and she does. This is how it was ever since, she's just as easy to entertain like Hobi, and she laughs in different ways but this was my favorite. Her guffaw was music to my ears, but so was her voice. I couldn't sleep at night without calling her just to talk about how our day went and saying goodnight.
"It wasn't my intention," she says as looks up at me while she sits on the cold ground of the concrete floor with her back to the wall "I thought you were my age too if not a year younger, I didn't know if I was gonna take you seriously when you told me you were... what twenty? twenty one?"
"Twenty, I think," I reach out for both of her hands to help her get up and opened the car door for her "You were probably sixteen or seventeen,"
She plopped her behind on the passengers seat before she starts laughing again as she sits properly and I close the door behind her.
When we arrived back in my apartment, she followed me to the bedroom saying she was gonna help me pack up but was surprised to see that I was already done except for my backpack. She sat on the bed legs crossed, carefully arranging the tangled wires of the laptop charger when she looks up at me when I walked out of the walk in closet with an oversized tshirt and joggers in hand similar to the one she was wearing but slightly bigger, "you can change into these if you want. I'll leave them here," I tell her as I place it on the ottoman.
"Thank you~," she says as she gets up, done with my charger, and she grabs the clothes and hurriedly runs to the en suite squealing. I put all of my remaining things into the backpack as I waited for her to change before heading to the kitchen to prepare cooking dinner for the both of us wondering if she'll return the clothes she's 'borrowed' over the past years.
We were nearly three days away from leaving for the US for the American Music Awards and PTD LA, and I had yet to convince her to leave with me. It was a last minute thought of mine but after I realized I was gonna be able to record Girl of my dreams in Los Angeles, I thought why not bring her with me. I've been doing that ever since I kept contact with her when we first met in American Hustle Life.
----~~----
Back in 2014, while I played with the claw machine and got both Taehyung and Jungkook a plushie while we were being chaotic and she was listening to music while reading a book and our camera man and producer leaned on me saying he has a challenge for us which the younger ones overheard, so we gathered around.
"Who in you three think can naturally swoon or flirt with a girl by rapping?"
Automatically we all turn to where Y/n was sitting reading and as I studied her appearance I noticed that she had earphones on, and you can faintly hear the music she was drowning into while reading what looked like a romance novel.
"Isn't that too straightforward?" Taehyung chuckles nervously.
"It is," I agreed with him "but it also depends on what the reward is if we do the challenge" I state as I avert my gaze from her to our show producer.
"Additional allowance for all of you" the maknaes gasp in surprise and Jungkook starts playfully tugging on my shirt.
"Pity the babiesssss" they cry dramatically "the poor hungry babies"
"I'd do it but I don't know how to rap" Tae laughs
"So, who's up for it?" our manager smiles while our producer starts chuckling.
"I have a feeling Yoongi hyung would do better" Taehyung says looking at me
"I agree" Jungkook says "and besides, she looks like she's more your age, hyung."
I look back at her and she put her book down to lean her head back on the wall, eyes closed for a few seconds before she opens her eyes and starts reading again
"How much?" I ask our producer and the other boys 'ooh' as I square my shoulders accepting the challenge.
"How's $50 each?" he asks and I look at them in question and they smile and shake their heads yes, "Deal," I put my hand out to shake his hand "I have one problem though,"
"Which is?" he asks as he shakes my hand "I can't speak English"
"Just ask her out for dinner" he shrugs "If she says no, I'll give each of you the $50 from my wallet"
"And if she says yes?"
"He and Bang PD will pay for the wedding" Jungkook jokes making Taehyung and I laugh loudly.
"Dinner," the producer corrects him with a laugh "I'll pay for your dinner date"
"Damn,"Taehyung chuckles "now that's what you call sponsored"
"Wait," Jungkook interjected "If she says yes, you pay for their date, but what about the $350?"
"That's mostly what I'm gonna use to pay for their date, you'll all just receive a total of $70 at the end of the day" he declared "but you refuse the challenge, you'll all get nothing"
"I'm okay with $10" Jungkook says with a smile "At least we get something and Yoongi hyung gets a sponsored date" he mischievously grins the others agree with him but it didn't feel right.
"You have to try" Taehyung says when I voiced my doubt, reassuring me "you never know,"
After a second of pondering, I shake my head and get up "Just ask her out and flirt with her right?"
"The other way around, hyung" Jungkook laughs "Flirt first and then ask her out"
Just as I was about to head in her direction she gets up, she carelessly puts her book in her bag not knowing she missed it. And walks towards out of the laundromat, my eyes widen and I look back at our manager and producer in panic. Suddenly I was being pushed and yelled at to run after her and I did exactly that grabbing the book that fell from her bag onto the bench.
"Excuse me!" I yell as I run after her "Excuse me, Miss!" I touch her shoulder lightly when I reach her just as she was about to cross the road.
She turns around abruptly, confused as she pulls her earphones out.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," she says as she watches me catch my breath "I didn't hear you, I was wearing my earphones"
"It's okay" I tell her "You left this in chair? At the laundry?" I point at the direction of the laundromat. Her eyes widen in realizing what I meant.
"Oh," she looks at the book in my hands before slowly taking it "Thank you so much, this book means so much to me"
She looks up at me with tear threatening to fall from her eyes, "Thank you," she says again smiling
"You're welcome," I smile "I want to ask you something before I saw you leave?"
"Oh," she says eyes widening "what is it?"
"I wanted to..." I trail off thinking for the right word to use, where was Namjoon when you needed him "sorry, I'm thinking about word, my English is not good"
"It's okay," she smiles "where are you from?"
"Uh, South Korea," he smiles
"Oh, that's cool," she beams "I have this translating app we could use, my friend is half Korean and we used this when she first arrived here," she says pulling her phone out of her pocket and tapping away then she stands next to me.
"Here, type what you need to tell me so that it will try to translate it" she explains.
I type away explaining the situation minus the cash thingy before handing her phone back to her. And after she reads it and tries to understand the translation, she looks up at me biting her lip as she looks down at her phone again to reread what was translator gave her.
I'm a rapper back in South Korea and I'm here on a business trip with my group. Today is laundry day and back in the laundromat, my manager and our show producer challenged me to flirt with you and try to ask you out on a date. I just did not expect to ask you out on for dinner using a translator. I'm sorry. It's okay if you don't want to go out with me, I understand. :)
She looks up again at me, squinting because of the sun and she grins at me, then looks behind me. I follow her line of sight and notice that no one followed me and that they were all in one space near the van looking hopeful.
"What's your name?"
"Suga"
"I'm gonna guess that your rapper name?" she questions and I nod smiling "I'm Y/n,"
"Nice to meet you, Y/n" I smile shaking her hand
"If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?" she asks "You look seem a bit on the younger side, and I know that age is pretty important for you guys"
"I'm 20 years old," I tell her slightly concern that maybe she thought I was too young and her jaw drops as she starts giggling.
"You look like a really good guy, Suga," she smiles and she reaches out to touch my arm as to comfort me "But the thing is, I don't think I'll be able to go out on a date with you.
"Unless you want to wait in like 2 or maybe four years" she giggles
"Wh-what do you mean?" I ask confused
"Oppa..." she starts holding my shoulders in both of her hands with a gentle grip "I'm 16 years old" she lets go of my shoulders to type it on her phone before handing it to me.
I look up at her with probably a weird look because she starts laughing at my reaction as I type furiously
You don't look 16, I don't believe you.
"But I am," she tries to convince me, eventually pulling out an ID from her tiny wallet and handing it to me. And sure enough, she was born in 1997.
"Ah fuck," I curse under my breath "Can you tell my manager?" I ask her pointing my thumb back at the direction of the laundromat hoping she would go back with me "Please?"
She looks at the direction of where she was headed with a sigh, before looking back at me and nodding, "Okay, I will... you're lucky you're cute," I blush as we walk back to the laundromat where she explains to my manager, the producer with the help of our translator that she was 16 and won't be able to go on a date with me.
"Even if I wanted to, just to get to know him because he looks like a really cool and cute guy, I can't" she laughs
"I think the only one you're gonna be able to go on a date with is Jungkook, but the deal was with Suga," our translator laughs with her "But thank you anyway for letting him try and not calling the cops on us,"
"No problem," she smiles and she looks towards my direction and she says goodbye and teases me that maybe next time we could go on a date. Before she could walk far away I called after her.
"Y/n-ssi," she turns around at the sound of her name, as I stand close enough in front of her with my back to the maknaes and the staff I ask her in a voice only for her to hear "Can I see you tomorrow? Santa Monica beach? I want you to meet other members. At the park near the beach, at 3pm?"
"He means the Pier!" our translator yells out to her and she looks back to my direction.
"I can't make any promises, Oppa," she smiles "But, I'll try. I want to see you again too. I'll see you tomorrow." she waves as she slowly walks away.
Once we were done with laundry and went back to the dorm, I sat down with Namjoon and told her about Y/n. And after we were done talking and the lights were out.
"Hyung?" Namjoon asks as we laid on our own beds in the dark.
"Yeah?"
"What if she doesn't show up tomorrow?" he asks "Did you at least ask for her email?"
After a beat of silence, I squint my eyes and press the heel of my hands on them and groan, "Ah fuck!"
"Ya~! Hyung!" "Yoongi! What in the world is wrong with you!?" "Hyung!" they all yell at me in the dark "Yoongi!" Jin yells at me from where he was laying "Ask for her email at least and be her friend! You don't have to go on a date with her,"
"He has a point," Namjoon says "There's nothing wrong with being friends with her and keeping contact, just keep it rated PG 13."
"Just hope she's going to be there tomorrow," Jimin says
"Or you all can consider me unlucky."
"But at least we have extra cash," Namjoon says "thanks, hyung"
"Mhmm..."
"Get her something to remember you by, hyung" Jimin says "A teddy bear or something"
"IF she shows up tomorrow"
"This would be a good time to pray," Hobi chuckles making the other boys chuckle with him.
----~~----
"YOONGI!" Y/n's voice breaks me out of my trip down to memory lane "The boiling noodles are overflowing!" I look down to quickly at the pot, hurriedly closing off the heat and taking off the pot and pouring the noodles on the strainer waiting by the sink.
"Jeez," she sighed as she stands next to me "You okay, Yoongi? You seemed a bit out of it."
"I'm okay," I sigh as I start stir frying the vegetables for the Japchae "I was just reminiscing some old memories, like how I lamely asked to see you at the Santa Monica Pier."
"Yeah," she laughs "it was weird, I nearly didn't make it that day, I don't know if I ever told you that,"
My forehead crinkles as I look in her direction, "You never told me that," I stare at her fora good second before I paid attention to what I was cooking "What happened?"
"As you know I was only there for the Summer," she sighs as she sits on the floor where she was playing with Holly, but I was still able to see her "I was supposed to leave that day, at that time." I look back at her wondering if what I was hearing was correct.
"I was supposed to fly back home at 3pm the day I was supposed to meet you at the pier. I was already at the airport," she looks down at Holly who was tugging at the toy Y/n was holding in her hand "But when I checked the board, my flight was cancelled because of the weather back home. That's why I was late to meet you that day," I guess I was lucky that day...
I take the pan from the stove after closing it to place on the table, grabbing the two bowls I set on the counter earlier along with two pair of chopsticks.
"Jagiya~" I playfully call out to her and she laughs as she gets up "Call me that in front of the other members and they might think we eloped,"
"They probably think we're married and keeping it a secret from them," I told her "But, we're not," I look down at my food taking another bite. She stays quiet as we eat and once we were done, I took the chance to ask her.
"Would like to join us on the Permission to Dance in LA concerts?" I ask her "You used to join us on tour before anyway, so it's nothing new to you. Oh, and you can stay with me and Namjoon a few more days after the concert if you want to. I just have a project I need to finish while I'm there. You can come back home with Jin hyung, Jimin and Jungkook right after the concert too if you want." I offered the idea.
"Will it be alright with you if I want to stay where you do?" she asks hesitantly looking up at me.
"I'd rather you stick close to me while we're in LA," I stare at her "Don't want you roaming around without me or without security,"
"Oh come on, that was one time," she exclaims grinning
"Which is why we don't want it happening again," I chuckle
A few days later when we reached LA and was done with the American Music Awards, the first place Y/n and I sneaked off to was the laundromat where we took pictures, giggling like a bunch of teenagers before headed off to the beach where we watched the sunset while we sat on the sand.
"So, am I allowed to ask you what is this project of yours that's so important that you have to stay a couple of days after the concert is over?" she asks pulling her mask down to breathe in the salty air.
"A song that I'm producing," I tell her pulling out my phone, searching for the song.
"Nothing new there," she smiles "Still impressive as ever, but nothing new. Everyone wants to collaborate with the best of the best,"
"Hmm," I hummed happily "I thought you might say that," I pass the phone to her as she listens to the first half of 'Girl of my dreams', I had still yet to write and record my rap verse. And once the track was over, I explained to her the story behind it eventually we finally head back to the car waiting for us that was going to drive us back to the hotel, but not before having dinner which ended up with her being tipsy. Her room was next to mine, so I walked her to her room and just as she was about to close her door she calls out to me.
"Oppa?"
"Yes?"
She hesitates for a second before she finally says "Not to sound like a needy bitch but-," she was cut off by the way I laugh, I immediately stop myself and gesture for her to continue.
She sighs heavily, "We've been friends for a while, how come you never wrote a song about me?"
I blush at her question and look down at my feet before looking up again to face her and shot back, "Ya~! You never asked, that's why,"
"But I thought you'd at least write about how you've put up with how annoying I am for the past years," she says playfully.
"I..." I trail off and stop myself before I ended up saying something I wasn't supposed to, "I wrote a song about you,"
"No shit!" she laughs
"I did," I smile at her genuinely "I was in one of the past albums,"
"Which one?" she asks seriously, eye wide "Please don't say it's Whalien 52 and that you're calling me a lonely, lonely, lonely whale."
"Ya, go to bed!" I exclaimed laughing "You've had too much to drink!"
She pouts, "You're no fun,"
"I'm fun," I state "When you're sober. Good night, y/n."
"Fine," she sighs heavily "Good night, Yoongi,"
As she closes the door and I hear the beep telling me it's locked, I make my way inside my own room shutting the door right behind me with my back to the door and my heart on my throat as I take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself. That was the first time I've ever lied to her and hopefully the last. I don't think I'll be able to live seeing my grandchildren if I lie to her like that again. I take a deep breath but tears flood my view as I remember her question.
'They're all about you' I wanted to tell her as I lightly thump my head repeatedly on the door tears slowly rolling down my cheeks, 'Every song I wrote about love and heartbreak, they're all about you. Because, for nearly the past decade, I've been so in love with you and it breaks my heart knowing you might never reciprocate the feeling, and it hurts because there's no one else I want to be with for the rest of my days.'
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