#drug reference tw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has a low social media market share in South America.

cantdanceflynn · 1 year

Text

BIG FLASHING IMAGE TW AND ALSO THE AUDIO JUST KINDA HURTS MY EARS

@pyxehastoomanyinterests @homemadegirlbossbattle BC PEOPLE ON THIS SITE LOVE PROVING THEY DONT HAVE READING COMPREHENSION, JUST TO MAKE IT CLEAR. ALICE IS THE ANTAGONIST OF THE DEITY AU. SHES THE BAD GUY. THIS ISNT EVEN HARD THE BAD GUY DOES BAD THINGS AND THAT MEANS WE DONT THINK YOU SHOULD RLY DO BAD THINGS THIS IS LIKE. THE EASIEST TO COMPREHEND PART OF THE AU MORALLY. ALSO YOU CAN TELL WHEN I STOPPED CARING BOUT MOST OF THIS. TURNS OUT BEING HARASSED A BUNCH DOES THAT TO YOU/HJ ALSO MOST OF THE FRAMES(THERES MORE THEN 30) R UNDER THE CUT OUT OF ORDER BC I DONT HAVE ENERGY

#THIS WHOLE THING JUST MAKES ME SO SAD ALICE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE ON THE THING MADE FOR HER #AND IK ITS NOT MY FAULT IT JUST RLY HURTS AND I AM SO TIRED AND WANTED HER TO AT LEAST GO OUT FAIRLY EVEN IF THIS IS MORE IN CHARACTER #FLASHING TW #FLASHING IMAGE TW #DRUG REFERENCE TW #CIGARETTE TW #MURDER TW #BLOOD TW #CANNIBALISM TW #ATT #PNF DEITY AU #ALICE LUOJA #CANDY-ART

7 notes · View notes

stanleyslayer · 2 years

Text

top ten moments where I want to draw narrator at the most random times just because I like drawing random big blob shapes which he is in my design for them therefore is my excuse to draw the shapes is answered, also I love drawing eyes for no reason and he has one eye and damn eyeliner so why not y'know, anyways time to do my 10:33 pm tired analysis on the narrator post by memory and making theories and ideas for people

few tw in tags for below

cartoony transition sound effect, uuuuh the thing below yyyea

so essentially he is this omnipresent incorporeal being in the game who made an oc to cope with stress from his omnipresent voice job but is definitely gay for his oc like everyone is with their as one point (I'm a stanarrator shipper, so if you think of anything else then ignore all romantic things with him and Stanley alr? just in case you dislike/do not like the ship or have another one!) is going to be the summarary

what I imagine is that in the narrator's world, either a he is a literal entity with a midwage job, b a old, around early to mid 40s guy in a midwage office job he Is slowly going braindead in, or c he is both, no I'm not explaining c

Narrator is a writer in his spare time and is working on a novel, but has writers block, so he decides to create a character based off his life and experiences. He always had liked the name Stanley, so he chose that for their name. Stanley would be an average guy of course, because you can do anything with that. But what would his story eb about? Every story needs a plot, or drive for the main character, which is Stanley. So he thought of his job, his endless, mind ending job. He imagined scenarios for it. So he began to write. Stanley worked at a job like his, and was also employee 427, though didn't look like narrator of course. You can't make a story with you at the center, that's just weird, unless your writing a personal story you had.

So he begins the story with a simple explanation. He thought of his co-workers, like Johnathan, and hammie, or was it Jammie? He wasn't sure, narrator never exactly interacted with his coworkers. He thought they judged him behind his back. He wished they could disappear sometimes, and something clicked. All of Stanley's coworkers disappeared! But Stanley was close with his, so this wasn't good. Now the story is at two doors, but that really stumps narrator. He based it off his actual office slightly, remembering the two doors he has used to go to work. Then he thought of multiple endings for the book. And he started writing each and every ending. Narrator's favourite was, as he called it, the freedom ending. This was where he, Stanley of course, pushed the off button in the mind control room after traversing through the story. He liked imagining Stanley could also talk to narrator, yes, that would be nice.

Stanley and him would get along very well, as the narrator would think. Stanley was very socially nervous when it came to talking sometimes, he imagined that if he had talked with Stanley, Stanley would first nervously talk. So he decides Stanley wouldn't have speaking parts, but he would imply Stanley... Possibly spoke. Anywho, narrator continued writing, adding instructions at the beginning and re-reading, re-writing it until it was practically perfect.

Meanwhile though, narrator had bearly even moved from his desk at worked, never typing in commands. Everyone started getting worried for him as the narrator continuously kept obsessing over this one story. Anytime he spoke to someone, he would say something like "Oh! Yes, my novel I'm writing! Stanley is one of the best character is I know personally." Or, "Stanley is perfect of course my my story."

Nobody ever even asked about this, so it began to get a big concerning as the narrator, well, he never even told anyone his real name, he just told them all to refer to him by that. Anyways, the narrator continually became more and more obsessed, explaining each ending with mroe detail each time, and starting to act as if this Stanley character was real.

But soon he didn't go to work as much.

He claimed he was making a game for it, and how everyone would love it. His co workers were.. a bit more relieved, discovering he was a narrator for the game. They thought maybe, he was getting in character of course! Nobody is that obsessed with one story!

Oh how they were wrong of course. But they didn't see it. They started giving criticism, not knowing how harshly the narrator takes this. Every time a coworker reccomended something, he would say something along the lines of, "WHAT?! BUT- But there's no way I would write something bad! I mean- this- this part was perfect!"

And then he stopped showing up for work.

The game was released, but he was missing. Why? He was just continuously playing the game. He turned the narration off first, and narrating Stanley personally as he played, moving Stanley around and controlling him like he heard the narrator. Narrator felt like a close friend of Stanley, like Stanley was his everything. He practically was of course! Stanley helped him do something he never imagined, making a game for his OWN story! He just wanted to hug Stanley, and go out for drinks with him, mabye even-

... well narrator couldn't do that of course. Reality finally setted in as he realized. He practically fell in love with this ai, this husk, this- this simply shell of a being made to be controlled. He has centered his whole life around this, even fired from his own job for god's sake! But he can't let go now, no, the game was like a drug to him. He couldn't let go now, just a few moree hours of playing! It's fine!

Which turned to days.

Which turned to weeks.

And then months.

Narrator was known as crazy by now, but not known for creating the game. If someone even looked at him, he began talking about the game. "Oh yes! I just had another adventure with Stanley today! We followed the line TM around the office, it was SUCH fun! Such funny adventures we have, me and him."

But then he really was suddenly gone.

Narrator fell into a coma.

And he layed on his apartments floor.

And the game off.

When suddenly, a voice just plays from the speakers.

"This is a story of a man named Stanley."

Your probably thinking, oh! He went INTO the game!

No. He's in a coma from not getting neutrients or sleep for weeks on end, lying on the floor, in a forever dream stasis.

anyways that's it just realized I basically wrote a fanfic by mistake ejhhhoopsie!!!

I accidentally put a link thing so ignore it I don't know how to remove it

10 notes · View notes

bloodxxandxxspirit · 2 years

Text

After giving up cigarettes for good, Lucy would occasionally smoke marijuana from the plants her father would grow in the garden. Unfortunately, she only did this after the events that unfolded with Max and his Lost Boys. During that time, she vowed to not smoke anything, and attempted to handle stress on her own with failed results.

Once she was exposed to the dark truth that was Santa Carla, she decided getting high once in a while wouldn’t hurt if it helped elevate her stress levels.

#; && Lucy's headcanons #drug reference tw #blogging from work

1 note · View note

laughingmagi · 2 years

Text

Concept: Your muse is getting stoned with John and KMFDM’s In Dub is on the record player.

#drug reference tw #drug reference cw #so....shit posting it is then #seriously tho In Dub has totally been my sound of the summer so far

3 notes · View notes

macgyvermedical · 3 months

Text

Drug Onset/Duration Times for Writers

Someone recently asked if I could do an onset times list and while I feel like I've done this before I couldn't find it, so here you go!

Onset time is the amount of time after administration that a drug begins to work. Onset times frequently have more to do with the route the drug is given than the particular drug. Generally an oral medication will start working in 30-60 minutes, a medication injected into the muscle (IM) will start working in 15-30 minutes, and a medication injected into a vein (IV) will start working in 1-5 minutes.

Duration times are how long a medication works once it starts working. Unlike onset times, these vary considerably depending on the medication itself and the route used to administer it.

Pain:

Aspirin (pain, fever)

Oral: Onset 30 minutes, duration 4-6 hours for pain (7-10 days for anticoagulation)

Acetaminophen (pain, fever)

Oral: onset 60 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

IV: onset 5-10 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

Ibuprofen (pain, fever)

Oral: onset 30 minutes, duration 6-8 hours

IV: onset 30 minutes, duration 6-8 hours

Ketorolac (pain)

Oral: onset 30 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

IV: onset 30 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

Morphine (pain)

Oral: onset 30 minutes, duration 3-5 hours

IM: onset 10-30 minutes, duration 4-5 hours

IV: onset 5-10 minutes, duration 4-5 hours

Fentanyl (pain)

IM: onset 7-8 minutes, duration 1-2 hours

IV: onset almost immediate, duration 30-60 minutes

Hydromorphone (pain)

Oral: onset 15-30 minutes, duration 3-4 hours

IV: onset 5 minutes, duration unknown

Sedation:

Lorazepam (agitation, anxiety)

Oral: onset 20-30 minutes, duration 6-8 hours

IV: onset 1-3 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

IM: onset

Diazepam (anti-seizure, anxiety)

Oral: onset 15-60 minutes, duration 12+ hours

IV: onset 1-5 minutes, duration 12+ hours

IM: onset

Rectal: onset 5 minutes, duration 12+ hours

Haloperidol

Oral: onset 30-60 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

IV: onset within seconds, duration 4-6 hours

IM: onset 5-15 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

Diphenhydramine (usually used together with lorazepam and haloperidol for emergency sedation for psych reasons)

Oral: onset 15-30 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

IV: onset 5-10 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

IM: onset 30-60 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

Anti-Nausea:

Ondansetron

Oral: onset 15-30 minutes, duration 6-8 hours

IV: onset rapid, duration 4-8 hours

Promethazine

Oral: onset 20 minutes, duration 4-12 hours

IV: onset 5 minutes, duration 12+ hours

IM: onset 20 minutes, duration 12+ hours

Stimulants:

Methylphenidate:

Oral: onset 20-60 minutes, duration 3-4 hours

Amphetamine/Dexamphetamine:

Oral: onset 20-60 minutes, duration 4-6 hours

Recreational:

Marijuana

Smoked: onset 30 seconds to 10 minutes, duration 3-6 hours

Oral: onset 30-90 minutes, duration 4-12 hours

Ketamine

IV: onset 30 seconds, duration 5-10 minutes

Snorted: onset 10 minutes, duration 60 minutes

Alcohol

Oral: onset 10 minutes, duration about 1 hour per standard drink consumed

(at this point I tried to google others but it started giving me crisis hotlines so I stopped)

#whump reference #writing reference #drugs #drug use #tw: drug use

120 notes · View notes

ashintheairlikesnow · 3 months

Text

All We Have Is Each Other

CW: Intimate whumper, captivity, defiant whumpee, biting, creepy whumper, obsessive whumper, noncon kiss, vague noncon references, drugging. For @amonthofwhump Tropeathon Day 1: Duel

The Motherfucking Gallaghers Masterlist

Takes place during Jax’s second captivity. As always, Jax is used with oversight and permission from @comfy-whumpee)

Savvie rolls dice every time she uses the mortar and pestle in the kitchen to grind up one of her collections of pills and mix it into Jax’s drink.

She’s always gambling with the drugs. The first part of the game is seeing whether he’ll drink it before he realizes there’s something in it. If she doesn’t mix it well enough, he’ll see the cloudy bits floating around in the glass and look at her with terrible sad eyes. Sometimes she can’t take it. She just takes the drink right back out of his hand and pours it out, makes him a new one.

Other the other hand, sometimes his sad voice and sad eyes piss her off worse than anything else could, and she just tips it up until he chokes and makes him finish it anyway. Or shocks him, pressing the button to the remote and watching his muscles lock up, knowing he’ll look sweeter once he’s fighting the way his muscles jerk afterward, the unconscious twitches he can’t quite get rid of as the aftermath works its way through him.

Sometimes he even looks scared. Those nights are some of her favorites. Savvie never loves Jax as much as she does when he is scared of her.

But... she can’t keep him scared all the time. What kind of marriage would they have if she did that? No, the drinks aren’t to scare him, they’re just to make… to make things easier. And she doesn’t always do it! She doesn’t always drug him, but it’s enough that he never trusts her. She knows that. He doesn’t… trust easily.

That’s okay.

Their relationship got off to a rough start, that’s all, what with Jax starting off as one of the staff, bought and paid for. Plus, Jax’s dad convinced him Savvie was evil, once upon a time when he ran away from her. Taught him to hate her. She had to have her uncle fly all the way to England to bring Jax back, and it’s taking years to undo all the damage that stupid old man did.

That’s okay. He’s getting better, he’s definitely getting better. He is. He has to be getting better.

Still… he’s not an easy man to be married to. Not with having to keep an eye on the remote to his shock collar so he can’t take it off and try to run away again, not with the way he watches her sometimes like he wants to dunk her head into the toilet and hold it there until she drowns. Putting stuff in his drink just lets Savvie be able to relax.

She doesn’t have to worry about what he might do when he’s so high he can’t do much of anything. Besides, it’s only like one out of every ten nights, sometimes twenty, sometimes she even goes for a month or two without doing it.

She really doesn’t even want to. If he would just learn to be happy without it, she wouldn’t have to keep drugging him, would she? If he’d just stop being so difficult about being her husband… but that isn’t fair. He can’t be any better than he is, not really. Jax just… isn’t wired that way.

So she has to help him a little, to make it so he can have nights when he can’t stay mad at her. Or at least nights when his anger isn’t able to simmer in there behind his eyes while he says Yes, Miss Savvie or No, Miss Savvie like there’s a gun to his head.

Still. Trying to give him these evenings where both of them just relax… it’s always a gamble.

Even if he drinks whatever she makes without realizing it’s spiked, he doesn’t always react the same way. If she’s lucky - if her dice rolls well - the drugs make Jax… softer. He’ll lean against her when some of his strength slides away, not seek out touch but loathe it less. Those are the nights she can coax a sound out of him that isn’t clipped or tense. She still thinks about the night she gave him a back rub and he genuinely fell asleep sitting on the floor between her knees, his head drifting until it rested on her leg, the knots of tension slowly loosening beneath her kneading hands until she got distracted by the movie and forgot what she was doing.

Sometimes he smiles, when he’s blurry and unfocused. Smiles, enough to show teeth even… God, sometimes he even laughs at some of Savvie’s jokes. It’s rare, but it happens. She loves those nights the best. Those are the nights that their marriage almost feels normal… if she just ignores the dilated pupils and the way he can’t stand up on his own.

Sometimes he gets so foggy he can’t stop laughing, which is irritating but at least adorable to watch and take videos of to make him look at later on the next day when he sobers up again. Sometimes the side effects make him too scared to smile, his eyes darting nervously everywhere watching the movements of shadows he swears are watching him. She… tries not to give him those pills anymore.

The nights tend to end with her telling him to take off his shirt so she can enjoy the view, or even his pants, too. She usually waits on that, though, because it doesn’t matter how good the drugs are - he always hesitates when it comes to taking off his pants, as soon as his fingers touch the boxers with their oddly rolled waistband.

It reminds him he doesn’t want to be here. Makes his addled mind come back to the collar he wears around his neck, to the reality of the life they’re living, the marriage Savvie has built all by herself whether he wanted to or not.

And he… he didn’t want to.

So normally she waits on the getting naked bit until they’re in the bedroom and what he wants matters so much less that neither of them think about it any longer. The drugs, at least, make it harder for him to slow her down in there.

Savvie tries not to think about that, because she doesn’t remember it that way. She likes the nights best where he doesn’t even try to fight, just lets her pull him upstairs and she gets to bury her hands in his hair and tell him what to do and have him, languid and loose-limbed, follow every command without the tension and misery he usually carries into their bed.

She doesn’t always roll well.

Sometimes, she rolls snake eyes… and she gets this, instead.

“Fuck’s sake,” Jax groans, words slurring around the edges, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He pushes clumsily away from her, nearly falling off the couch before he manages to catch himself. “For… f’r fuck’s sake, Savvie, what the fuck.”

His wedding ring glints, light from the TV bouncing off the deceptively plain platinum band. She’s hit all over again with a wave of love for him, for the life she’s built after he was brought back home to be hers forever, just like he always should have been. She’d been an idiot not to see it, not until he was gone and she spent years in prison dreaming about getting him back.

“Fuck’s sake what?” She asks, voice light, smiling at him and poking him in the shoulder where they sit on the couch.

He doesn’t slap her hand away, but she sees him look at her and… he wants to. His expression is dark. The light is bouncing off his hazel eyes, too, giving them a strange sheen of white that wipes out the color, obscures even his dilated pupils slowly taking over the iris. “What the fuck was it?”

“What was what?”

“What the fuck did you give me?” He goes to push himself to standing only to have his knees buckle beneath him, crashing him to the floor, barely catching himself on his hands. Savvie’s mouth waters, and she swallows, trying to ignore the flutter of fascinated interest in watching his fingernails scrape the rug as he tries to steady himself. “What the fuck is it, Savvie?”

“It doesn’t matter,” She answers, without changing her own tone, leaning forward with her arms resting on her thighs. Her hair falls in heavy waves down her back and over her shoulders. “It’s not anything that could hurt you.”

This time, he doesn't say Miss Savvie or try out the sad eyes. Instead, he looks away. She can nearly hear his teeth grinding. “Yeah, but once I’m all fucked up, you will.”

“Don’t be rude,” Savvie chides him, but she doesn’t move. He looks good, on his hands and knees on the floor. Well, he looks good all the time, really, but he looks even better on his hands and knees. She knows the physique he’s built with the workout routine she makes him do, knows the muscles there hidden beneath the green sweater and jeans he’s wearing. “You’ve been stressed all week. I’m just trying to help-”

“Fucking shit, the hell you are!” He manages to sit back on his knees, then collapses back until his back hits the edge of the couch cushions, upright through sheer force of will and a bit of good luck. His hands lay limp at his sides, now. When he turns to look at her, his eyes don’t focus quite right - but the fury in them is clear.

Well.

Tonight’s not going to be the best night for them, then, she supposes. She feels the edge of a headache starting up, and sighs, looking mournfully at the movie she’d pulled up for them to watch. Another night, then. A night when the gamble pays off and doesn’t backfire. A night when he can’t remember how to be angry at her.

“Fine,” She says, heavily. “I’m not trying to help you. I’m trying to help me.”Her own voice changes - drops almost a full octave from her usual carefully constructed diction and sweetness to something sharper. “I’m making tonight easier on me. Making you less… less-” She can't think of a good way to end the sentence, so she just lets it hang there between them.

Jax snorts, looking away again. His head keeps lolling forward until his chin nearly touches his chest before he jerks it back again. “Yeah, I fucking know,” He manages, but his slurring is getting worse. “Shit f’r brains.”

Savvie sniffs, but the fake tears aren't coming as easily as they usually do. She probably accidentally gave him too much again. It’s just sometimes so hard to remember exactly how much the dose is supposed to be…

“I don’t enjoy you being cruel to me any more than you enjoy it when I do it to you, you know,” She says, suddenly… so tired. She spends so much time and effort creating a marriage herself out of a man her uncle bought for her once and abducted for her the second time, and she’s doing this all on her own - no one helps her, not really. And Jax never gives up.

She’d been sure he’d start to settle in and understand by now, but he just… he just doesn’t. And she’s so tired. Her fingers toy with the little black remote to his shock collar. Maybe she should just… just give up on having a good night and punish him for the cursing until he just bites off his stupid tongue.

No, wait.

She likes what he does with his tongue, when she gives the order. He’s so good with it now. Maybe… maybe just a small shock. Just to remind him he's hers. She takes a deep breath. “Jax… get on your-”

“On m’knees f’r discipline?” He starts laughing before she can finish, cutting her off, letting his head fall totally back against the arm of the couch until he’s staring at the ceiling. He sounds wild, almost like an animal. Her quiet watchful husband is feral, and Savvie resolves never to give him the pill she gave him tonight ever again. “Yeah, fucking… fuckin’ do it. Second I don’t play along, there y’go. Bzzzt.” He cackles, a cracked bark of laughter she’s never heard him make before. “Shut me up so you don’t hear me say it.”

Savvie’s heart twists. “Say what?”

The laughter dies in him as suddenly as it appeared. He turns his head, or tries to - it mostly just falls to one side until he’s looking at her. Their eyes meet, his all black pupil and hers with nearly no pupil at all. “How much I fucking hate your fucking guts.”

“You don’t hate me.” She says it firmly, as if he’s being ridiculous. “Don’t be mean, Jax. You don’t hate me at all.”

She takes a deep breath. Married couples have fights, even ugly ones sometimes, and they work it out-

“Yeah. I… I really do.” Disgusted, that’s the tone in his voice. Disgusted with her. “I do. I hate you.”

“Why do you hate me?”

The look he gives her is such a blatant are you a complete fucking moron that she can hear his voice even though he doesn’t say a word.

“No, hold on.” She waves one hand, dismissing her own question. His eyes briefly follow the movements of her fingers, distracted by whatever the drugs make him see there. Trails of light, maybe. It’s probably beautiful. “Hold on. I know why-”

“Do you?” His question is sharp, snapped, even as his every muscle can barely tense enough to move. “Do you fuckin’ really?”

“Yes. I do.” Savvie’s too tired to talk him in a circle tonight. She’s just… too exhausted by her bad gamble, bringing neither the snuggly Jax or the scared one, but this angry, vengeful animal instead.

Her headache is getting worse.

She grabs her glass of wine off the coffee table and chugs it so fast a little drip escapes the corner of her mouth and runs down her chin. She has to wipe it away, wincing at the… at the idea of how that looks. Her mother would have had a fit about it. If she hadn’t died years ago. “Because I had you kidnapped.”

Jax is silent, for a beat. He squints at her. “Fuck… what’d you say? Might be hearin’ shit.”

She laughs, softly. Not her usual laughter, crafted to fill up a room and put all eyes on her. This laugh is barely there, but far more genuine. “No. You're not hallucinating, that shouldn't happen with what I gave you tonight.”

“Oh, good, not this fucking drugging, then, jussss-” His head falls too far to one side and he forces it back up, groaning. “Jusss… others.”

“Only one of the pills does that. And you were cute when you thought there were monsters in the bathroom.” She gets that flat stare from him again and this time she can't hold eye contact, looking down and away, still fiddling with the remote to his collar. “I just. I do know what I did, Jax.”

“Yeah, I fucking know you know-”

“I had you kidnapped.” She takes a deep breath. It feels oddly good to say, like a scene in a movie confessing to a priest. A foul-mouthed priest she’s been sleeping with for over a year. The thought makes her smile, just a little. “My uncle had people watching you, and when I was ready, he knew where you’d be and he abducted you for me. I know that. I know that you’d run, if you could. I’d take your collar off right now if I thought you’d stay without wearing it.”

Jax is silent for so long she briefly wonders if he's flat out forgotten how to talk. Then he shrugs - or tries to, his arms don't quite follow his commands. “You’d find somethin’ else, some other reason for shit ‘round my neck. You fuckin’ like it.”

For the first time, she doesn't deny it. “I do.” She laughs at the way he looks almost comically surprised, unable to keep his usual closed-off expressions in place with the drug coursing through his veins. “What? Can't a girl have a kink?”

“Sure fuckin’ can, but you… you don' have a kink, you got… goddamn victims.”

“... I… yeah. But it-... that's not my point. It isn't about the collar, Jax. Your wedding ring does it for me, too. I could barely wait to get you home after we signed the marriage certificate.”

The glare is back. His hatred is blistering her skin. She watches him try to stand, making it nearly upright before he falls back down again with a heavy thump.

Her mouth twitches. “You want help, sweetie?”

“Ffffuck you.”

“Well, I mean, if you’re asking so nicely.” She giggles at her own joke.

He mumbles something she can't quite hear, trying to stand one more time but quickly giving up. He makes it onto the couch, at least. Savvie stands, turning to grab his ankles, shifting so he’s lying on his back, head and feet each cushioned by the arms of the comfortable, overstuffed couch. He struggles weakly, and it's hard work, but she gets him where she wants him. She barely breathes, taking in his chest rising and falling under his sweater, how his inhales are coming more sharply.

She can't help herself.

Savvie climbs on top of him, like she’s done a hundred times. She straddles him, sitting on his hips and leaning down to kiss his neck, nosing under his jaw. At first, his head tips back in resignation - but then he curses and pushes at her weakly instead. “Don’t.”

She grabs his wrists and shoves them above his head. He’s so weak, the drugs have taken all that muscle and made them… useless at holding her off. There’s a shiver of excitement down her spine. “Uh-uh, sweetie. You’re the one who said to fuck you, remember?”

She feels a thrill at saying fuck, like she’s still a kid sneaking swears in her room when her parents won’t overhear.

“Don't,” He groans. “Sav-... Savvie, stop. G’t off me. I hate you.”

“I know.” She smiles down at him. His eyes meet hers, tired and bleary. Furious and almost resigned. “I know you hate me, Jax… but I love you.”

She leans down, her hair a waterfall curtain, blocking them both off from the world. She can smell the cologne she buys for him, blended with her own pricey perfume. His wrists jerk against her grip and she digs her nails in until he grunts in pain and the skin gives beneath.

“Savvie,” he whispers.

“Sssshhh.” She lets go with one hand, shifting both his wrists to her other one, and presses a finger against his lips. “I love you so much,” She whispers. “And I don't need you to love me back, sweetie, I don’t. I just need you to lie for me.”

She kisses him, then, pressing her lips firmly to his. For half a second, his mouth is slack and unresisting even as his body shudders with disgust. He’s warm, his skin burning up beneath her. Her mouth moves against his, trying to get him to answer her, to open up.

His lips gently part. For a brief moment, Savvie feels the rush of victory.

Then he bites.

Pain blooms in a sudden flare as his teeth bury themselves into her lower lip and he jerks his head to the side, sensitive skin tearing.

“Shit!” Savvie jerks backwards, staring down at him wide-eyed. She can taste her own blood in her mouth. It’s smeared on his lips and his teeth like badly-done lipstick as he gives her a smile that's really a snarl. “Oh my God, Jax-... how dare you-”

“Fuck you! Don't fucking touch me!” He gets his arms more or less under his own control and shoves her off of him. She crashes into the coffee table, the legs giving out, tumbling her to the floor. Pain spikes hot and demanding along her hip where she hits the hard angle of the corner and she finds herself the one lying on the floor, while Jax slowly sits up, wiping blood off his lips.

Her blood.

Savvie pulls her fingers from her mouth and gasps. There’s a smear of red, bright and vibrant, the unmistakable sense of blood trickling down over her chin. She tongues at the wound, then winces as the pain flares bright, like he’s bitten her all over again. She considers tears - looks at the loathing in his eyes, the absolute rage written in the lines of his face - and then decides they’re wasted on him tonight. Instead, she just shakes her head. “That hurt.”

“Good. Don' like bein’ the one fucking bleeding for once, huh?” His eyes drift closed. He struggles to open them again, to keep his eyes on her. “Shit feelin’, isn't it?”

“God.” She swallows. Blood on her tongue is making her feel nauseous and she gets to her feet carefully. Her mouth and hip throb. She’s going to be so bruised tomorrow, going to ache so much. “You’re awful sometimes, you know that?”

“Yeah.” He grins. He hasn't bothered to try and get the red off his teeth. “I know. So… so fffffuckin’ get rid of me, then.”

Savvie snorts, limping a little as she moves to pick up the spilled wine bottle from the floor. She could shock him now - that’s what she would usually do. Or call Isaac and have him carted off to spend another month locked in the kennels with the dogs. He… probably doesn’t care about that, though. Anything to get away from her. Anything is better than her, to him.

“Get rid of you?” She drinks the last swallow in the bottle, washing blood down her throat with the wine. “Then what, Jax? I should just… live here alone, without you, for the rest of my life?”

“Fucking-... yes, or go fucking die. I don't fucking care.” The flush of hot anger bleeds away, his voice softening a little. “I don't… don' care, Savvie. I don’t care about you.”

“No. You do.” She feels a burst of desperation to make him understand. “You hate me, right? That’s caring about me, still.”

“Savvie-”

“No. I love you. You are mine, and I am keeping you. This is love, Jax. What I feel for you is true love.”

He shakes his head, swaying a little where he sits. He tries to push her away again as she takes him by the arm but his burst of energy seems to have used him up. He lets her, in the end, get him onto his feet. She leads him on his unsteady legs out of the room, and he stumbles along with her.

“S'not love,” He mumbles. She keeps an arm around his waist to help him balance. “Fucking… fuck you. Let me leave, Savvie.”

He doesn't have the strength to push her away, not anymore. He has to use her to stay up as they take the stairs one at a time, although after three or four he jerks away again and uses the railing, leaning heavily against it as he drags himself upwards, inch by inch, step by step.

She lets him pull away, watching his determination to not need her, how badly he doesn’t even want her. There’s a canyon inside of her, something dark and deep that hurts so much worse than her hip or her torn open lower lip, threatening to claw its way out as she watches the man she has forced to play the role of her husband do anything he can to avoid her touch.

Her jaw sets. “It is. It is love, and you know what? It’s all the love you’re going to get. Ever. No one else will ever love you.” Savvie’s voice stays low. “You’re not… you’re not lovable, Jax, but I don’t care, I love you anyway. Nobody else would. No one is ever going to even want to love you but me.”

He slumps. The fight’s all gone out of him, for now. Her gamble failed tonight and Jax is buckling under the weight of what runs through his veins, the heavy expectations in her eyes and her smile and her devotion.

“Fuck,” is all he says, barely a whisper under his breath.

Savvie sighs, touching her fingers to her lip again. The bleeding has slowed but there’s still a spot of red. “Goes both ways, though, I think.”

He doesn't look at her. “What?”

“This… how much you hate me… how I had to kidnap you, and put that thing on your neck to keep you here, how you wish you were anywhere but here with me… you know, I, I get it.”

He has to stop at the landing and lean over, resting his forehead against the wall.

She lays a hand on his back, leaning over to speak right against his ear. “I get that your hate is all the love I’m going to get, too, Jax. Nobody else will ever love me, either.”

Her throat feels tight, and she can’t tell if she really feels the twisting nerves in her stomach, the sense of dread, or if it’s part of her act for Jax. Sometimes even Savvie isn’t sure when she means the things she says. Sometimes, even worse, she really does.

“All we’re ever going to have is each other.”

He doesn’t answer her. But when she takes his arm in her hand, he allows himself to be dragged along towards her bedroom. The fight might be gone, but so is the feeling. There’s nothing in his eyes that shows he even heard her.

That’s okay. She can be honest, in the dark, in the middle of the night, knowing that he’s too drugged to remember anything she said when he wakes up again. She’ll lie to herself again by morning. So will he.

She just needs him to lie.

@whumpyourdamnpears consider this my evil savvie gift to you

81 notes · View notes

doppel-dean-er · 1 month

Text

Can we talk about the fact that Annie was SEVERELY addicted to pills and her parents just. Didn't notice? And it feels like it's implied that her mom KNEW this was going on and was just going to let it keep happening (since she didn't want her to go to rehab). Like they're letting their 18 year old daughter live above a sex shop in a "terrible part of the city" all because she wanted to get help????? Something potentially untapped here for the fanfic writers

#think about all the references we get to Annies mom #that woman must be TERRIBLE to be around #nbc community #community #community nbc #annie edison #drug ment tw #drug mention

50 notes · View notes

bloodxxandxxspirit · 2 years

Text

Castiel has become so dependent on booze, sex, and drugs, that being sober frightens him. Being sober will remind him of everything he’s lost since God abandoned him. He manages to learn how to use firearms while under the influence, but he doesn’t believe he can function without some kind of substance in him. It helps him cope on a day-to-day basis.

#; && Castiel's headcanons #drug reference tw #; && blogging from work

1 note · View note

lowpolypony · 4 days

Text

blinkies set #6

i live in the nether, i love collecting things, i love purple, i love weed, i moo @ cows, i never solved rubix cube, in space no one can hear you moo, invader zim, i want to believe ufo, jelly hearts

#blinkies #webdev #web resources #old web #neocities #drugs cw #drugs tw #drugs mention #flash warning #eyestrain #if anyone knows what these moo blinkies are referring to lmk i have so many

31 notes · View notes

thechaoticlittlejester · 1 month

Text

New tadc au soon!!

The au:

⚠Trigger warning: Alcohol use, drugs, abuse⚠

Okay, I have no idea if this is already made or something but I had this idea that Caine was actually a human in the past.

This isn't a theory so there's like no evidence but in the au Caine was the father of Pomni, age 13, and, with his brother Able, was one of the CEO's of Caine & Able industries and they were working on tadc, a new vr game.

With all this work, he left Pomni (I have no name ideas) alone at home a lot. She was alone almost all the time and her mother couldn't even stand up unless it was to get another bottle.

One day, Caine left to work and never returned. Pomni was soon informed that he went missing at work. Even with an investigation, Caine was nowhere to be found. Soon, Pomni went to live with Able and her mother was arrested for child abvse.

Pomni, now age 15, was happy for a short while. Able was starting to act weird and it worried Pomni. Able was seemingly getting angry and more irritable. Pomni, having delt with her mother, knew not to bother him. With this ignorance, Pomni was able to do drvgs and Able never knew.

After years of neglectance, Pomni, now 20, moved out and took notice that Able seemed upset that she left. She shrugged it off and got a small apartment for herself. She soon got her life back on track but struggled to find a job.

She lived alone for 5 years until she got a call from Able. He asked her to come visit his job for opportunities and Pomni, needing a job, agreed and drove to C&A industries.

Able dazzled her and got her to come with him to the basement room to try the new vr set model. She had a bad feeling but didn't think he would do anything to her... why would he anyways?

When they went down and Able suddenly hit her on the side of the head with a metal bar, knocking her out. When she woke up, Able had tied her down and forced the headset onto her head.

When Pomni woke up, she woke up in the circus...

After math:

Eventually, Pomni finds out that Caine is her father and this sends her off. She remembers how he left her with an abvsive mother and then disappeared and snapped in front of everyone, Shocking them.

It basically went like this:

Caine feels bad and tries to make it up to Pomni and be a better father to her in the circus. He even tries to help her find the exit or a glitch in the code.

With this, chaos unfolds as Able enters the circus and Caine disappears again. This makes Pomni think that he's abandoning her again and it makes her stomach curl. Soon, the circus members find out what really happened to Caine. Pomni couldn't be more angry.

(Want more? Don't forget to leave a like or reblog! That will give me more motivation to continue)

25 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

astrogremmin

a gremlin in space

diosoup

♡

ramihere

Unbetitelt

wouldloveanoldermantoplaywith

bitchploded

Donna