#also EPIC THE MUSICAL IS DO FUCKING GOOD GUYS
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I would like to just say Monster from epic the musical but it's Icarus Morningstar
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#fable smp#icarus morningstar#this fucker is so sad and they consume my brain#also EPIC THE MUSICAL IS DO FUCKING GOOD GUYS#LIKE HOLY SHIT#YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I WAITED FOR THAT SAGA#ITS SO GOOD GUYS#anyway-#the psychology of icarus morningstar consumes my brain
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Smashing Diamonds
Pairing: Nate Jacobs x Fem!Reader
Summary: The well-organized party turns south for Nate when he sees his former fling just a few steps away from Maddie, with whom he recently rekindled. Deciding to stay away from her, he realizes he can't help himself after noticing what she is wearing.
Word count: 2.3k (2381 words)
Warnings: smut, dirty talk, name-calling, slut shaming, degradation, fingering, a bit of choking, cursing, unprotected sex
A/n: I don't know why but I got the need to try something dirty and Nate is the perfect person to try this on. Anyway, first time really trying to get into it, so I apologize if it isn't the best. Also, I wrote this as quickly as I could, because I was afraid the writer's block was gonna get me, but thankful it did!
Friday night, a perfect time for partying. When your friend Lea first mentioned the idea, you already knew what you wanted to wear. A very transparent top and skirt, with minimal material, mostly consisting of thin stripes of diamonds. A hot look for any club.
However, Lea didn't have any club on her mind. She mentioned your friends from East Highland High.
" You remember Barbara, yeah, well she said that there was this party happening on Friday and how we should totally come. " You thought about it, not much linked you to the people from there, which seemed like a great opportunity to meet new people and face new adventures. Without any hesitation, you agreed to this party.
~~~time skip~~~
After dressing up, you gave yourself a few spins, and view your reflection from the full body mirror, admiring the shiny gems that only covered small parts of your skin.
" This is going to be epic. " You took a selfie of yourself as you heard a car honking in front of your house. Quickening your steps, you managed to pass your living room with neither of your parents taking a glance at you, knowing they wouldn't approve of the outfit.
" Damn, girl, are you trying to get knocked up?!?! " Lea let her jaw fall to the floor as you were walking towards her car.
" Hahaha, not really. " A giggle slipped through your glossy lips.
" Well, good luck trying to find a guy who will pull out in time with you like this. "
You gasped dramatically, giggling once again. " Oh my God, Lea! " She winked at you, driving away from your house and straight to the party house.
Before you even stepped into the house, a smell of weed hit your nose. Alcohol bottles were at every table, every counter, and at any corner available. The whole house was covered in purple and pink lights, pouring over the crowds, not missing a single human. Music was bombing the whole place with its beat, and you couldn't wait to get to the dancing.
You noticed that just next to the big sofa, Barbara sat on an armchair, vaping casually. Lea and you made your way over to her. She quickly saw you coming her way and stood up with open arms.
" Look who's here!! " She screamed out, even though it was barely heard due to the loud music.
" So glad you could come! " She said firstly looking at Lea and then at you. It took her 10 seconds to look at you before she commented " Obviously with a purpose! "
You laughed, smiling at her and slightly shrugging. Lea just nodded enthusiastically at her. She encourages you to give Barbara a turn, at which you initially shake your arms. However, Barbara was intrigued and kept encouraging you to do so. Giving them a mocking eye roll, you spun around with Lea holding your hand in the air.
" Well shit, you better take that ass on the dance floor. " BB clicked with her tongue.
" Oh, don't worry I will, but first I need a drink to warm up. " At your words Barbara, lead you two to the drinks, giving each of you a glass.
" In that case, drink the fuck up! "
Two and a half cups of alcohol were more than enough to make you drag yourself and Lea on the dance floor. The beat was gushing out of the speakers so loudly, you could feel it in your chest.
You completely let yourself go to the music, the freedom you were able to feel while dancing was mesmerizing. Nothing else had your focus and attention, with this addictive feeling you couldn't care less what your outfit was showing and whatnot.
Across the room, Nate was standing with his friends, as each held their cup, staring at the new girl. You.
" Fuck, who's that? " One groaned out while eyeing your body.
" Just some girl from Valley Torah High. " Nate's voice spoke as each of his friends turned to him with interest.
" Yo, Jacobs, you never told us about this one. You fucked her, right? " The same guy asked, waiting to hear confirmation. Nate looked at him quickly before, staring back at you.
" Ohhh! So where are the photos, we didn't see her yet. " Nate frowned at him, as the group of guys laughed.
" I didn't take any. " He admitted quickly. Meeting the guy's confused faces, he added. " Didn't have time. "
" I see. " The black-haired one said straightening himself up. " Well in that case we will make some. " He turned to the guy next to him, pulling out his phone and handing it to him, before deciding otherwise and giving his phone to Nate.
" I trust you will know better which angles to film. " With that, he started approaching you. Nate didn't even acknowledge the phone fully, his mind was kept on you.
The way you swayed to the song, dancing and turning. Nate had sex with you twice, firstly after meeting you at a party and the secondly when you accidentally found yourself in the same store. Expect that nothing else happened, you two barely ever talked, you knew your names but that was it.
Nate did make an effort to ask for your number, but with him getting together with Maddie once again, he didn't think of contacting you. He did, however, look at your social media, just enough to know which school you attended and who you hung out with.
Since he was on good terms with Maddie, who knows would you two ever interact again, if it wasn't for this night, that outfit, and Nate's friend.
As the guy was approaching you, Nate took the chance to look at your surroundings, seeing his girlfriend had spotted you. " Of course, she did, who fucking didn't? " He thought to himself while watching the stipes of your skirt reveal your cheeks.
The sight made him close his eyes for a second to regain his senses. The outfit was almost slutty, whorish, he thought, but yet it just made it harder for him to not start rubbing his pants.
Just before the man next to you could get to you, one of Nate's friends tried to call out to him. " Yo, you filmin' this? "
Without any hesitation, Nate dropped the damn phone, muttering under his breath " fuck this. " and fastly started making his way towards you.
His friends laughed a bit, at his reaction, waiting to see what was about to unfold. You were still in your own world when a black-haired guy spoke to you. " Hey- " not even properly starting his sentence before Nate go to him. He looked at him with a puzzled look on his face. " Thanks for borrowing me your phone, now you can go back for it, I left it with Caleb. " The taller guy said, composed and relaxed.
You stared at the two strangers, the taller one had a serious face as he spoke to the other one. " What are you talk- "
" Caleb has it. Your phone. " He cut him off, you tried to hear better what were they talking about as you leaned closer to them. The two of them just stared at each other, not matching their facial expression.
" Go. " The taller one almost whispered it to the other one's ear, who left only a second later. Just then you could recognise the man in front of you.
" Oh hey, you. Nate right? " He just nodded slowly, his eyes watching you lazily, his figure towering over you. You stared at him, awkwardly standing, feeling a bit uncomfortable since you were the only two people not dancing in the crowd.
" Come with me. " Nate said, walking away to the stairs. You followed before stopping in front of the stairs and calling after him. " For what? "
He turned to you, an annoying expression on his face, almost frustrated. " We both know why you are here, so you gonna come and get it or what? " You turned back to see Lea was drinking at the kitchen counter, before meeting your eye, you supposed she couldn't see Nate, but she knew what going upstairs meant, so with a jovial smile, she made a cheering gesture.
You laughed, acknowledging her excitement, and then followed Nate upstairs. He didn't look at the people that were there, he walked right passed them and into a room, that seemed almost fully prepared for this encounter to take place.
You went in after him, closing the door. " So you remember me? " He asked a rhetorical question. " Then you must remember what you were doing to me. " Your eyes glanced at him innocently, after all that dancing, you still felt a bit mischievous.
" I don't know Nate, am I suppose remember it? " He immediately came closer to you, almost fully, chest to chest. " You wanna play a game ha? "
" Is this what you came for? "
You preached up your lips as if you were thinking about it, locking up at him and seeing the tense position of his jaw. A lot took for you to not smile, since you knew the moment you looked down you would see how much more tension was held in his lower area. But, of course you couldn't resist to look. " Oh my. " You gasped, almost faking it. " Now I see what is stressing you out. "
Your hand automatically pushed itself on his bulge, making him bite into his lower lip. But before you could even react to that, he spun you around and pinned you on the wall. Now his covered dick almost went right into your hole, as he made the quietest groan ever.
As he held you in that position, his big hands began to rub in the inner of both of your thighs, the warmth it was creating made you push yourself into him completely out of reflex. He groaned into your ear, before sneaking one of his hands into your panties, only to rip them off you. His fingers immediately stuck themselves inside you, teasing each and every part viciously.
" Fuck, ah! " You moaned hard into the wall. He left his right hand to flick around your pussy and let his left hand reach your breasts. He easily got to them, as only the diamond stripes kept him from squeezing them firmly causing you to hiss out in a painful satisfaction.
" Fuck, yeah! Tell me how it feels. " Nate pushed his still-covered front into you, as his fingers played with your entrance, before entering into you once again.
" Oh, Nate! " You practically screamed out his name. " It feels so fucking good! " You couldn't help but drag yourself all over his pants, just wishing you could pull them down. However, your hands were more preoccupied with holding you against the wall.
" Imagine how good would it feel with my dick inside you. " At that, you whined mockingly, pushing your ass into him. This made his hand leave your pinched breasts as he smacked your ass, vividly leaving his handprint on it.
" A whore like you would, just love that, wouldn't you? " You nodded hard, making sure he had seen it. His left hand then once again made contact with your ass, slapping it to the point of full redness. His fingers still worked on you, as you felt your orgasm approaching. Nate noticed it, smirking before completely letting you go. He placed his hands on his pants, starting to pull them down. You turned to him, wishing to do it yourself, but were met with rejection.
" You better keep those hands on the fucking wall. You already fucked with me enough tonight, so I'm going to let you know how it feels. " You barely turned around, as he slipped his hard dick into you. The sudden thrust into you made you scream out in pleasure. Nate didn't even let you take a full breath in before he started pounding into you.
He thrusted more and more into you, groaning at the feeling. His hands held your hips as he fucked you. His eyes watched your ass bounce with all the diamond stripes. The diamonds glimmered and shook at each smack, creating a quite beautiful sight that was hard to look away from. It was mesmerizing him and he truly thought about how much he enjoyed this, having you against the wall, being completely at his mercy and command, he was becoming harder just thinking about it.
You hummed at his thrusts until Nate grabbed your neck and choked it." Be louder...can't hear you. " He said as he slammed his full length into you. " Mhm, I'm gonna cum! " You yelped out, squeezing his dick so perfectly. " Yeah, come on...fuck! " Nate encouraged smugly, stopping his rhyme just for a moment. " I want to see you cum on my dick. " He then slammed once again, strongly into you, as you shook helplessly.
" You wanted this all along. To get...fucked so well. And so...dirty! " Nate panted into your ear, biting on your earlobe, before relesing it. " Mhm, fuck...I like you this tight. And wet. " His left hand was left at your ass as his right one returned to your pussy. Fingers rubbing into you, before sliding in.
" Mhmm... " You moaned as tears started to come out of your eyes. " Yeah...come on! Come on my dick! " With just one merciless push into you, you released your juices all over him. Nate groaned at the feeling of wetness covering him, throwing his head back, before returning to fucking you.
" Nate! Ah! " You groaned, feeling his dick twitch. " Fuck, cum in me! " When you said it, almost breathlessly, he knew he couldn't keep going for long. It took a few more thrusts, before he too released his juices, pushing himself fully into you, back to back. He left breaths on your back, as you both calmed down and returned to your normal breathing pace.
Nate pulled his dick out of you, walked over to the bathroom, getting himself a towel and cleaning himself up.
" You still fuck good, Jacobs. I remember it. " Nate only smirked at your words, trying to not let it affect him too much. He took one towel and gave it to you to do the same.
" I still have your number. I might text you for another time. "
" We will see if you will. "
#nate jacobs#nate jacobs imagine#nate jacobs x reader#nate jacobs x y/n#nate jacobs x you#nate euphoria#nate jacobs smut#jacob elordi#euphoria imagine#euphoria#audreyemeralds#audrey emeralds
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tipsy - p.b
requested by anon
paige bueckers x reader
warnings : 18+, possessiveness, drinking, fingering, semi public sex
you and paige had been messsing around for a couple months, but nothing serious. paige swore to you that you were the only girl she was hooking up with, but if that was true, why weren’t we anything more than friends with benefits?
a couple weeks ago after hooking up paige had mentioned a party to you, and asked if you were going and when you replied that you didn’t know about it, she asked you to go with her. she murmured a dirty joke with a giggle when you accepted then you playfully push her.
paige had picked you up for the party, calling you gorgeous and complimenting you the whole way there. this was what confused you, she treated you like her girlfriend.
you guys eventually wander off, nudging paige and telling her that you were going to find some friends.
half and hour later, you decide to try to find paige again, coming back down from going to the bathroom upstairs. you find her in the kitchen holding red solo cup. as you pouch her she holds eye contact with you and doesn’t look happy. “p are you okay?” you say, worried for paige. she looked mad. “did she make you cum? fingers or toung?” paige said, crocking her neck down to your height.
“paige what are you talking about? i was going to the bathroom upstairs. paige are you drunk?” you say with confusion.
paige sets down her solo cup grabbing her hand and walking fastly in front of you, leading you up the stairs and into the bathroom and closing the door behind you. she pushes you against the door l, resting her forearm on the door behind you. “paige are you sure your not drunk?” you say, trying to ignore the need between your legs you develop with paige looking at you this intensely.
paige unbottons your jean shorts, pulling them down to your mid thighs, and moves your panties to the side. paige pushes three of her lengthy fingers inside of you, without even asking you to suck on them which she loves doing. you gasp out due to the pressure on you, and paige curling her veiny hands inside of you.
“you like that you whore? am i the only one that makes you feel this good?” paige says, still keeping eye contact with you while pumping in and out of you.
“fuck yes paige your the only girl i want, holy shit i’m close” you say through moans of pleasure and screaming out paige’s name as your legs shake.
“oh yea? you’re close?” paige says, as she feels you start to clench around her fingers, when you finally release paige bends down onto her knees to lick up all your juices. she licks her fingers clean holding intense eye contact with you. paige washes her hands as you clean your self up. she pushes a passionate kiss to your lips as she walks out of the bathroom.
a couple of hours pass, as paige finds you and nudges you, signally that she’s ready to leave, you nod , agreeingly. paige opens the passanger seat door for you, you hop in and wait as paige jogs around to the drivers side.
paige gets in the car, starts the car then looks at you with a grin. “your so breautful, pretty girl.” paige says through her bright red cheeks.
“your even more beautiful p.” you say as you also start to smile. “baby will you be my girlfriend? tonight made me realize i want you. not just a casual thing. i want to be the only girl you think of, and make you cum.”
you smile, hearing those word was like music to your ears. “paige, you were already the only girl i think and epically the only girl that makes me cum.
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CHIMPYZEE how r u doing this eve......have u listened to any good music lately :3
HI HI yes I have actually I’ve been on a massive new music kick lately so here’s some of the stuff I’ve been listening to lately!!
Avant garde grindcore. Cripplingly destructive and insane. True fucking chaos. Imagine the inside of the head of someone caught in a nuclear blast
Brilliant doom metal band. Sneering mustane style vocals but with a growl that makes it not just listenable but also charming instead of mustane’s irritable whine. Brilliant riffs that don’t A- be too stonery le epic weed doom bullshit B- not too groovy or funky I prefer my funk as disco (I also dip my toes into Philadelphia soul every now and then but I wouldn’t call myself a super fan but there’s a couple artists i have consistently enjoyed but I digress) and C- not too masterbatory so no long noodly shit. Lyrics are a bit silly but in a way I enjoy
Another avant garde grindcore outfit but this time turned alt-metal experimenters. Great great discography. Nice and short. brutal stuff highly reccomend these guys first
Horrorcore artist with some really good hooks and funny ott lyricism. Doesn’t fall into some of the usual trappings of horrorcore and keeps it feeling genuinely funny while balancing the derangement
Classic metalcore. Clean vocals and catchy leads. What more can you want. Pure consumable candy. Blending the old school of metalcore with the at the time uprising of the boybands with breakdowns style.
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light on
The one where Y/N is the daughter of a legendary Team USA coach and used to attend the development program with the boys. 8 years after they last saw each other in person, a reunion brings Jack and Y/N back into each other’s lives... and hearts.
if you keep the light on, i'll keep the light on
I II - something about the way you look tonight III
“Coach Jr., you look great!”
Y/N laughed as Alex got closer to give her a hug.
“How long has it been?”
“Too long, you dick. How’s the missus?”
“Rehearsing. Stressing. Driving herself crazy because of tiny details. The play is premiering in a week and she is so happy I swear she’s skipping around like he’s in a fucking prairie… I love her so much.”
“You guys are so cute, I swear to god… I wish I would be able to make it but I’m so happy she’s finally doing musical theatre!” she beamed, looking past him to see Jack walk through the door, clearly being nagged by Trevor, who was almost jumping up and down around their friend, not ever shutting up.
Alex looked back to see where her attention had been diverted to.
“You two really need to just get it out of your systems.” he stated simply, with a blank expression.
Y/N’s jaw almost hit the floor at her friend’s crude comment, but she couldn’t say she was surprised, he had always been one to be forward when it came to speaking his mind.
“Turc!” she scolded. “We are polar opposites who happen to be good friends and…”
“Sweetheart, you’re rambling. You and Jacko have always had a weird chemistry, and I mean that in a good way. It wouldn’t hurt to bite down on that apple. Also, I’ve already been recruited by the drama queen to fix you two up, so…”
“Your girlfriend?”
“Trevor.”
She stifled a laugh, shaking her head and rubbing his arm up and down.
“Alright, Alex, thanks. I’ve got to go, though. I’ll see you later?”
“Count on it!”
*
Jack waited alone in the media room Coach had arranged for the photo ops to take place in, leaning against the wall, going through his Instagram feed. Apparently, his former commander in chief had already posted the famed picture they had taken earlier and everyone was freaking out over it. The duo did look couple-y. He smiled when he got a text notification: Y/N had forwarded the picture to him.
We’re too cute for words, Hughes! xo it read.
He wondered if she’d ever see him as anything other than plain old Jack from camp. Trevor was right, he did have a huge crush on her. How could he not? She was gorgeous, kind, funny and extremely talented. He couldn’t get enough of her. He never grew tired of her presence. Something about her had a stranger hold on him.
His relationship had become tiring and dull so when his girlfriend told him she wanted to end things he was torn between feeling heartbroken and being relieved. Even though he felt a heavy weight inside his ribcage, he wasn’t reminded of it as often today because her presence eased his mind, soothed his heart.
Y/N walked in, rolling up her sleeves and moving to stand beside him.
“We’re a hit.” she announced, showing him her million-dollar smile.
The brunette man returned her grin, shrugging.
“I’ve always known we were epic.”
Soon enough, in came the mini tornado known as Y/N’s father, followed closely by the kids who had earned their picture with hard work. They took a couple of photographs before a young girl, brought as one of the boys’ plus one, requested they’d pretend they were gazing adoringly into each other’s eyes while she stood aside looking annoyed.
The doctor wrapped her arms around his neck and did as she was asked. Jack’s blue eyes burning into her own, his intense gaze making her feel something she couldn’t quite explain. He had a way of always making her feel special just by looking at her.
“I think you two should date.” the teenager blurted out. “People would go wild.”
“I’ve been hearing that quite a lot lately.” Y/N replied, avoiding to meet Jack’s eyes as she waved the girl goodbye.
Jack didn’t say a word, burying his hands in his pockets as he tried to act casual.
The photo ops were finished and both were looking forward to their well-deserved break. They walked side by side down the hall back to the improvised green room assigned to the star athletes.
“They went with formal wear for the benefit dinner, Tkachuk told me his team only did casual wear last year… I guess they really wanted to milk the whole glamorous superstar deal.” Y/N pointed out, breaking the silence that had settled between the pair.
“I’m hardly an example of what glamorous stands for.” Jack chuckled, scrunching up his nose.
“Oh, no, I meant Trevor. I wonder what he’s wearing.”
He stopped on his tracks, pretending to be deep in thought.
“That’s actually a pretty good question. He is known for making bold choices.”
“That’s one way to look at it.” she snorted, instantly covering her mouth with her hands.
“Did you just…”
“Don’t!” the smaller woman pleaded.
Jack erupted into a fit of laughter and Y/N groaned, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”
“Not for a second, Messier.” he winked, finally managing to stop laughing, noticing the frown on her face. “Oh, come on… I promise I won’t mention it to anyone, alright? It was kinda cute, actually.” the brunette man joked as he placed his arm around her shoulders, squeezing her tightly against his side in an unexpected moment of bravery.
“Yeah, yeah…” she rolled her eyes lightheartedly and opened the door, only to find the room empty. “Where is everybody?”
“They let about ten minutes or so ago to get ready for dinner.” an older woman explained, as she entered the room to restock the refreshments table for the next day.
“Shit, Alex and I were supposed to share the car we rented for the weekend!” Y/N grunted.
“I was stuck with Z and Cole.” Jack said, checking his phone for any texts or calls letting him know he was on his own. “Unbelievable.”
“Guess I’m calling a cab.” she sighed.
“We can share one if you’d like.” the brunette man offered. “Where are you staying?”
“The mighty Saint John’s. Courtesy of the boss.”
“They really booked us all to stay in the same place, hu? I’ll call for a car.”
The cab didn’t take long to arrive. As the gentleman he was, Jack opened the door for Y/N to climb in, joining her and letting the taxi driver know where they wanted to go. When they got to the hotel, Y/N saw the time on her phone, mumbling something about not being able to get ready on time, tapping her foot impatiently while they waited for the elevator to come down.
Jack chuckled to himself as she checked her watch time and time again while they went up.
“This is not funny, Hughes… I thought we had more time!” she whimpered, just before the familiar ring let them know they had arrived.
“I don’t know why you’re worried about that, you’ll look great even if you have had less time to get ready.” he stated, matter-of-factly when they stepped out into the hall. “I have seen you sweaty, red and disheveled before.”
Y/N scoffed, looking for her room key, hidden somewhere in her purse before halting in front of her door.
“This is me.”
“I’m staying right down the hall. Do you think they managed to book the whole floor?”
“Knowing the boss and how much of a control freak he is, probably, yes. He knows Turc and Z are way too rowdy together and didn’t want to disturb other guests.”
“They did try to drag me out of bed to get pizza at 4 am the last time the three of us where in the same place.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Y/N pondered, turning her back to him to open the door. “Go get ready, unfairly handsome man. We’re supposed to be meeting downstairs in twenty, right?”
Jack simply nodded, taking in the way she had called him handsome once again and waiting until she closed the door behind her to walk down the hall into his own room.
*
Y/N took a shower, wrapping a towel around her body and rushing back and forth her neat room, looking for the dress and shoes she had packed specifically for that night, laying the satin fabric carefully on the bed before she put on her lingerie.
She heard a knock on the door and hastily grabbed the first thing she found to put on, going to answer it.
“Hey, birdy!” Alex greeted her sheepishly, waltzing into her room in a dark blue suit.
“You look good, Turc.” Y/N smiled, tying the fluffy robe around her body.
“Hey, hey, hey! Is that how you’re going to show up at the benefit? You little rebel, disrespecting the dress code, I like it!” her bubbly friend gushed, sitting down on the bed.
“Haha, very funny! I’m still pissed you left me at camp without saying anything.” she pointed out, turning on the hair dryer, missing Alex’s reply over the noise.
The man got up, grabbing the device from her. “Let me help you with that.”
“Thank you.”
“I see you brought the red dress. Nice!”
“You and your girlfriend did threaten to pinch me really hard if I didn’t.” Y/N snickered, closing her eyes while Alex picked up a brush and the dryer.
“We have our ways…” he shrugged. “So… Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room, or…?”
“What elephant in the room?” the doctor questioned, turning to look at her friend.
“Well, you know, the whole Jack-is-single-and-you-should-totally-take-advantage-of-that situation.”
“Did Trevor set you up to this?”
“Maybe…”
“He just broke up with his girlfriend, Turc. They had been dating for a while, according to the press. He needs to grieve and figure his life out before you nerds try to set him up with someone else, you know that…” she shook her head, looking down at her hands.
“You would make an adorable pair, though… Just putting it out there.” Alex mumbled as he finished tying Y/N’s hair in a low bun, leaving out some strands to frame her face. “Voilà!” he cheered triumphantly, satisfied with his work once he saw a small smile creep up on his friend’s face.
“You do have some weird fairy godparent hands… I trained you well. Can you pass me my make-up from the bedside table, please?”
“Your wishes are my command.” he grinned, handing her the beauty products.
“Thank you so much, Turkey. How late am I, right now?” she asked, spraying her favorite perfume on her neck and the back of her ear, before getting up and picking up her dress.
“You still have time, don’t worry. I’ll go down right now and tell them you’ll be ready in a minute.”
“Just do me one last favor and zip up my dress, please.”
*
Downstairs, the group had been divided into two, so they could fit into the large taxi vans parked outside. Jack adjusted his suit jacket, looking around the room from time to time, checking if she had come down yet.
Alex walked out of the elevator, smirking once he recognized the disappointed look on the brunette man’s face when he realized he wasn’t the one he was so eagerly waiting for.
“Hey, beauty.” he greeted him.
“Hey, Turc.”
“She’ll be down in a minute.”
“What?” he mumbled, snapping back to reality, having clearly missed the suggestive tone of his voice.
“You don’t fool anyone, Hughesy.” his friend winked, leaving him alone to join Cole by the front desk.
He pretended he didn’t understand what he meant, leaning against the pillar next to the large couches in the main entrance, going through his social media feeds for the tenth time in half an hour. Nothing new.
His older brother had texted him to let him know he had seen the picture Coach had shared and that he “totally approved” but had “dibs” on her since he had known her for longer than he did to which he had replied with a middle finger emoji.
“Finally!” Trevor chanted, throwing his hands up in the air as he approached Jack by the pillar. “I was beginning to think I was going to have to get you ready myself!”
Jack looked up from his phone, being left speechless at the sight of her. He knew she’d look amazing, but he had no idea that, ten years later, she could still knock the wind out of him.
Y/N had chosen a beautiful red A-line dress with a generous square cleavage that accentuated her tiny waist. She could only be described as a fallen angel. He bit down on his bottom lip, clearly too distracted by her beauty to be more subtle about checking her out.
“Okay, beauty, you can breathe now.” Alex came up from behind him, tapping him on the shoulder. “Come on, everybody, Coach Jr. is here. Let’s go.”
At the sound of Alex’s voice, Y/N glanced in their direction, locking eyes with Jack. She smiled softly, scrunching up her nose the way she always did. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
Alex linked arms with Y/N, leading her outside and leaving him standing there, completely dumbfounded.
“Dude, did you just choke?” Trevor asked, trying to hold in a cackle.
“Shut up.”
#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes#jack hughes fanfiction#fanfic#trevor zegras#hockey boys#hockey blurb#team usa#cole caufield#alex turcotte#y/n x jack hughes#hockey
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Just some thoughts I have, immediately after viewing ep 6.
spoilers!
oh my god, oh my god! I´m honestly relieved! Can you believe it???
I´m SO GLAD endindg didn´t ruin the show!
Quite the opposite, actually! I think that with the context of this ending, they actually made season 1 much BETTER. which is like... complete surprise for me!
What the hell????
I seriously didn´t expect that! AT ALL! 🤯
It was funny, It was clever, it was epic, and absolutely heartbreaking 🥺😭
Ouroboros, Casey, Timely, and Sylvie... they all survived, and can live they lives however they choose!
O. B. making the sequel of his bestseller is the best thing ever! And he has friends now!!! My precious boy!!! Good for him! He deserves it!
And Loki and Mobius both survived as well THANK GOD!!!! And they still remember each other!
(I was prepared for much worse scenarios, to be honest.)
Anyway, I´m sucker, for bitter sweet endings. So I´m FINE.
....except I´m not.
Because It´s so fucking tragic at the same time!!!
God, what a love story! (what isn´t denied is allowed, so... )
they ended it with two of them, alone. Mobius isn´t actually getting back to his boys, because they already have Don. But he didn´t want to stay at TVA because Loki is not there anymore.
Last few shots are Mobius, just standing there, watching life he can´t have and for the first time he is free to wonder around the world on his own. he´s able to WASTE HIS TIME now. And then we see right after Loki, stuck on his throne, alone. And it is implied that he was able to hear Mobius (or see him, even!) And he looks lonely, but also happy for his man!!!
GOSH.
I was crying like a baby. whole sequence from that scene in a theatre room right until the end! And that freaking music!!!
I only have one complaint, and that being: we should see Mobius actually enjoy some JETSKI! Or even better: last shots should have been Mobius happily steering a jet ski on the open sea (wind in the hair and all) AND then Loki on his throne with a smile on his face (because he´s watching him).
Last thing:
there is actually so much potential, after this finale.
If not for actual Marvel project, then for fanfiction writers and for imagination. They left so much room for the good stuff! 😍
For example:
Mobius struggling to addapt to normal life on a timeline. And then he somehow finds out, Loki can see him/ hear him. And he will starts talking to him.
And because Loki is so alone and unable to go anywhere, this starts to be his source of fun. Something that makes him happy. And he finds way, to talk to Mobius back somehow...
or
Loki will find out that he can travel to his past selfs without having to leave his throne. He stays there, but his mind can travel to his body at any point before.
I am actually mad, I have no time to write fanfics right know (but hey, my english is totally tragic and terrible, so it´s probably a good thing 😅)
Anyway. I feel sad, and also happy. And inspired and satisfied.
And I´m still sobbing. All at once!
It was beautiful, and I enjoyed every second of it!
Can´t remember last time marvel actually managed to do that to me.
*standing ovation*
I applaud to creators, actors and everyone involved. You guys did a fenomenal job! (at least that is how I see it)
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
#loki#lokius#loki spoilers#loki season 2#mobius#mobius m mobius#loki and mobius#loki spoiler#marvel#mcu#finale#glorious purpose
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Regarding fandoms and comments, I've recently had negative comments that tell me I'm not good and should just quit writing. Well, it worked. I no longer am able to write without it affecting my mental state. People who do the bullying do it to get rid of authors they don't like that doesn't fit their mindset. When does it end? I didn't want it to hurt my mental health and get me to quit, but it did.
People treating each other badly whenever they can never ceases to make me sad.
I try to think the quote "hurt people hurt people" when dealing with negative people. Happy, balanced people, who view others as their equals, have no need to leave negative comments, send hate messages etc. to others just because they can.
Take a little break but don't let anyone stop you from doing what you love! I try to keep this mentality and I always think about how Billy Idol (80's famous singer) just kept pushing forward whenever someone or something said no to him:
When he was a child, he wanted to play a guitar. Parents said "No, you can only play a violin"
-> Billy secretly got himself a guitar with 5£ at the age of 9 and learned to play it by himself.
His teenage girlfriend dyed his hair white. Everyone said it looked horrible on him
-> Billy kept the white hair and made it his trademark.
He discovered punk and FINALLY managed to put a band together in his late teens. Too bad that London, where he lived, had closed all bars and pubs from punk bands. They weren't legally allowed to play anywhere.
-> Billy and a few other guys established their own place for all punk bands, where all where welcome to play.
He went to university to study music. He was bullied and ostracized by other students as he was too weird, too freaky looking and listened to punk instead of jazz
-> He was lonely but staid in the school and kept his looks and music taste.
He started to dislike being a band member and wanted to have a solo career. Everyone said you can't make it, you suck, you can't make compose a shit
-> Billy decided to start a solo career as Billy Idol anyway.
When he started to get a little footing in the Europe, he decided that he wants to go to USA. It would give him better markets and more chances to succeed. Too bad that Europe's most famous punk band, Sex Pistols, has just epically failed in their attempts to make it in the USA. America hated punk and Billy Idol was nobody compared to Sex Pistols. Everyone called him delusional for having such stupid dreams.
-> Billy went to USA anyway
In America, all record labels he went to said the same thing; you will never make it here. You sing punk and we hate it. You sing with British English and we hate it. You look so fucking ugly that no one will come to see you. If you want to succeed here, you need to change your music style for radio friendly stuff, change your accent and change your looks.
-> Billy thought that if singing with American accents helps, he does it. Otherwise, fuck you. This is the music he wants to do and this is his style and how he wants to look.
-> This decision led him to become super famous. Everyone loved his music and the fucking ugly guy became one of the 80's sex symbols, and his music videos were literally directed to sell with sex to the female audience.
Also, it was told him with dead certainty by many people that your music will never play in radios. EVER. Well, what do you know, his music still plays in the radios, 40 years later :3
So, keep going! Keep writing! There's audience for every single style out there and just because some asshat wasn't impressed, it doesn't mean others wouldn't like your stuff.
I mean, how much emphasis do we want to put into asshats words anyway? Which matters more; some random asshat's feelings or our own joy and inspiration when we do something creative?
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Kny Characters + What stories would they write?
Ok last one for now I just had a lot of ideas
(Also kind of a modern au)
This is also really long, it contains the majority of the characters
Tanjirou: Pens a very lovely and whimsical tale about a boy who goes exploring in a sunny wood and comes across various talking animals who often say funny, charming and sometimes deeply profound things about the nature of the world. Think Le Petít Prince meets Winnie the Pooh. Half of the people who read the story thought that it was a delightful read while the other half thought it needed more conflict (lameasses)
Nezuko: When she was a human she was too busy taking care of her younger siblings and doing laundry to write down her little tween girl self-insert fantasies of joining Robin Hood's band of merry men and becoming the new leader who steals Robin Hood's heart <3 and other similar characters who fight sexily against injustice.
Zenitsu: Writes cringy self-insert fanfic both in modern au and in the taishou era. He writes selfcest fanfic (but don't you get it? It's actually a metaphor about the duality of the self, and he's working out his inner demons UGH don't make fun of him!!!!!) and is that guy who writes really dark, fucked up fanfic about cartoons (he has watched a lot of anime). He's really into theaters, plays, operas, musicals you name it. He went through a big Tennessee Williams phase and tried to write exactly like him to.....middling success. He tried to write a musical once only to realize one song in, that an advanced sense of hearing and proficiency in multiple musical instruments doesn't actually equate to having any compositional talent. He'll stick to critiquing and leave the creative writing to people with more style and imagination.
Inosuke: He narrates a story about a boy who escapes an opressive society and goes to start an anarchist commune in the woods with other refugees. The fact that there are no rules and everyone does what they want is epic and he doesn't miss his old life at all even a little bit and then they all live happily ever after, the end. Shinobu claims that while his narration style is direct and incisive, the story ultimately lacks nuance.
Genya: He had a really big crush on Mulan and Li Shang when he was a kid and when he saw the garbage straight to DVD sequel it dissapointed him so badly he vowed to rewrite it so that it was good now, actually. He got three pages in before it occured to him that this was a waste of his time because no one but him would ever actually read it, and he abandoned it. Little did he know that little Nezuko would have loved to read it, but he didn't know Nezuko yet. Alas.
Kanao: She writes a series of diary entries from the perspective of a teenage girl. At first she's just talking about stereotypical teenage girl stuff, like the boy she likes and the mean thing her friend said at the mall, but then at some point the narrator realises that she's in a story, and her diary entries get introspective and frantic and meta as she is ultimately crushed under the weight of her own narrative. Her teacher deems it "brilliant" and suggests submitting it to literary magazines for publication to which Kanao replies "no thanks Λ_Λ 🫧"
Aoi: She once wrote a story inspired by "Over the Garden Wall" about two characters who are clearly her and Kanao navigating a sinister, mysterious forest together. It really helped her work through some stuff.
Senjurou: He makes an artbook of his crafts, paintings and photography. It has a very special place on Rengoku's shelf.
Rest of characters under read more
Shinobu: She writes a story about a lesbian pirate who has an affair with a bisexual tavernkeeper who is cheating on her shitty husband right under his nose. One day the husband finds out and gets violent so they kill him and serve chunks of his flesh to stray alley cats. Her friends and family really enjoy the story but others don't understand "why everything Shinobu writes needs to have such an agenda"
Sanemi: He pens a tragic fairytale about an empress who loses all of her children to various causes and ultimately kills herself. The style is very poetic and beautiful but the story is so unbelievably sad that anyone who reads it is prompted to ask "what was the point of this" and "if you need help i have a pretty good therapist i can recommend"
Giyuu: He once wrote a novella about a miserable, traumatised young man who causes problems for himself for no reason. Shinobu reads it and says "Wow Giyuu, this is an amazing piece of satire I never knew you had such a great sense of humour!" And Giyuu is just like "it wasn't meant to be comedic" and Shinobu's like "Oh......." Many years down the line Sanemi reads it too and argues that the protagonist needs to be punished more by the narrative and Giyuu responds "thanks...I'll keep that in mind....."
Gyomei: While not a man of many words, the novel he has been dictating reveals a very beautiful, sensitive, poetic soul and may move you to tears.
Muichirou: Doesn't read books and now you want him to write one???
Uzui: He wrote touching and hilarious letters to his wives whenever they were apart, which they keep stored in a small wooden chest and pull out to read whenever they are feeling wistful. Besides that he has no desire to write anything. The most he ever writes is when he is writing letters to other Pillars, which always say the same thing "Hey come over here so I can talk to you in person. Fuck you. Tengen"
Mitsuri: In the Kimetsu Gakuen comic series she along with Shinobu brainstormed a manga called "Sishinta and Friends" where all the characters are pieces of sushi and the romantic rival is a piece of shrimp called Ebi that looks like Rengoku and gets into conflict with a fried piece of salmon called Yakishake that looks like Akaza, who wants Ebi to get fried because if he doesn't he will spoil and die, but Ebi argues that getting spoiled quickly defines sushi and that he would never become fried and thus the two engage in a vicious crustacean vs aquatic vertebrate battle. Not kidding, it's chapter 11
Iguro: He writes a story from the perspective of an electron that doesn't know that it's entangled but can sometimes still feel that it is connected to something across the universe when it spins. It is a brilliant poignant story about starcrossed love and the significance of relationality across the cosmos that almost none of his peers understand "because it all sounds too sciencey"
Rengoku: Had a diary detailing his childhood, his mother and her passing, his father's descent into alcoholism, his little brother, his training exercises, his missions and his unsuccessful attempts at making his father proud. As the years passed the diary entries became shorter and shorter until one day they completely stopped...
Kagaya: Writes a dark comedy about a horrible, pathetic man who makes everyone around him miserable including himself because he refuses to adjust his insane principles even when presented with tangible evidence that contradicts his beliefs, at one point he commits multiple murders and gets away with them until the end of the story where he is killed by his own myopic greed. Muzan claims that the hero of the story "is greatly sympathetic" and that "he deserved a better fate" Kagaya is just like "yeah...I kinda knew you would say that... :)"
Tamayo: She pens a lot of theory that is highly abstract, very dense, overly cerebral, sprawling and bordeline illegible. Her works are sort of like if Feynman and Derrida had a baby and also that baby was in highly need of an editor that could whittle down every four pages into one sentence. She writes theory on every scientific field imaginable, including fields she all but invented. People who can actually figure out what the hell she is saying insist that she is a genius and that her ideas changed their life, but most people don't even bother or just pretend to have read her stuff.
Yushiro: He writes academic criticism/theory/research, which is ever so slightly more lucid and succinct than Tamayo's.
Kyogai: Writes a story about ghosts throughout time occupying a single house together, haunting each other, ever temporarily overlapping in a cacophony of grief. While coherent it is very dense, and most of his publishers don't bother actually unpacking it, so they mostly just complain about the non-linear timeline being "too confusing" (lameasses)Tanjirou loves it though.
Rui: When he was still a human he had diary entries, which served as a treasured outlet through to vent his supressed and overwhelming feelings regarding his illness. He didn't write every day, and sometimes his entries were longer than others. In the weeks between him meeting Muzan and him murdering his parents, Rui's diary entries took a turn for the messy, rambling, dramatic and graphic. His diaries were well-hid under a rug in his room and thus never found.
Muzan: He writes about an ubermensch who is able to valiantly resist the liberal indoctrination of the pathetic sjws who are triggered by his inner strength and sharp intelligence. It reads almost identically to Kagaya's story (except with a vastly different prose style), but unlike Kagaya, it is completely sincere and not remotely a satire. Unfortunate.
Kaigaku: Writes a story about a "really cool" alpha male whose girlfriend unfairly dumps him after their wannabe sigma male acquaintance who was jealous of him because he loved his girlfriend gets him cancelled on Twitter for saying a slur 10 years ago. But it turns out said guy who steals his girlfriend is actually a terrible person who treats women like shit despite posturing as a feminist for clout. Zenitsu reads it and is like "wow, this could actually be a very well thought out critique on performative allyship and how any kind of man can be equally abusive to the women in their lives....if not for the fact that THE SIGMA MALE IN THIS STORY IS CLEARLY A STAND IN FOR ME ???????"
Daki: She def has a "went through a phase of writing hardcore slash fic" vibes, I can't explain it but she does. She's also incredible at writing roasts. She gives a speech at every birthday party she has been invited to and it fucking kills.
Gyutaro: The first and only time he ever attempted constructing his own story was when he was very young, where he devised a truly gruesome story about woodland creatures that accidentally made Ume cry. Whoops!
Gyokko: He wrote the japanese equivalent of Donatien Alphonse Francois Marquis de Sade's "120 Days of Sodom" the book that inspired the well-known 1975 film Saló (on a sidenote: I have read the book and it's much worse than the movie, just read the wiki summary to get the idea) Anyways if you are familiar with the book or the film you should know that whatever the hell Gyokko wrote is not suitable for human or demon consumption alike.
Hantengu: Spent a couple decades or so publishing a series of action-adventure-erotica novels under a pseydonym. Once you've been around for long enough, you just start doing shit.
Akaza: When he was young he wrote about a brave and valiant samurai who goes off to slay an oni and bring it's head back as a trophy for the shogun, only to learn that the oni was really just minding her own business, leading him to question everything he thought he knew about the Japanese feudal government, and ultimately beheading the shogun instead. His teacher deemed it "intriguing, but slightly concerning" (Lame!!!) Also probably had a Magneto and a Robin Hood phase.
Douma: Publishes a book that is one part self-help, one part gloating memoir, one part spiritual guide, one part personality quiz and 100% barf. Hakuji cannot believe that Koyuki has read it cover to cover multiple times, as if it contains wisdom deserving to be gleaned even once. He'd burn it if he didn't know that Koyuki would just immediately go out and buy another copy, giving even more money to that bastardly scammer.
Kokushibou: He finds most novels insipid, poetry either boring at best or nauseating at worst, and fanfiction a hobby practiced only by the most simple minded buffoons so he doesn't think he's missing out. He once sent a letter to Douma but never received an answer from him, so when he asked him about it when they met face-to-face Douma simply told him that attempting to read through and trying to comprehend Kokushibou's highly antiquated and dense writing was sheer torture for him so he just gave up ❤ he advised him to modernize his writing, even just a tiny bit. Kokushibou could do that....but he refuses to ❤️
#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#tanjiro kamado#nezuko kamado#inosuke hashibira#zenitsu agatsuma#sanemi shinazugawa#genya shinazugawa#kanao tsuyuri#kyojuro rengoku#uzui tengen#shinobu kocho#mitsuri kanjori#obanai iguro#muzan kibutsuji#kokushibo#akaza#doma#tomioka giyuu#kagaya ubuyashiki#tamayo#daki#gyutaro#upper moons#pillars#kny headcanons#hantengu#gyokko
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Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to some of your favorite mutuals 💌
I was tagged by @sideadde, thank you so much!! Sid tagged me on my personal blog but I'll just go ahead post this here since it's a music post - this blog has been pretty dead too as I mentioned on my previous post, so this is a good way of posting SOMETHING here, at least.
SO, I dont have a favorite-FAVORITE playlist, so I'll just use this opportunity to activate my Brazilian music playlist - accurately named "Tropical Gothic" bc our music is very fun and lively but also a lot of them is more melancholic than y'all from outside might think kkkkkk
Let's do this!
Milton Nascimento - Peixinhos do Mar ("Little Fishes in the Sea")
youtube
Starting strong! The song seems to be an adaptation from folk music and it shows - he says "Who taught me how to swim / It was, oh sailor, it was the little fishes in the sea", which is very whimsical. Then, it goes on and it also mentions how Portuguese came from overseas to Brazil, "bringing gunpowder, lead and bullets, we want to fight wars". You see what they did here, lol
2. Zé Ramalho ft Belchior - Garoto de Aluguel ("Rentboy")
youtube
This one is a huge favorite of mine djkfhdjhgf It goes HARD on the tango, accordion and all, it's just SO good. Zé Ramalho and Belchior (and Milton from the previous track) are like... legends, they are incredibly important figures to the brazilian music history, especially Milton and Belchior, really. I highly recommend going for their stuff if you're interested in more MPB ("Brazilian Popular Music" in Eng)! The song itself, it's literally what it says on the tin lol. It's about this prostitute guy and how he goes on with his life. This one might or might not be in my OC Cassie's playlist kdjfhkdf
3. Nana Caymmi - Flor da Noite ("Night Flower")
youtube
Jfc, this one. So atmospheric, and Nana's voice is very deep and smooth. And the fucking strings in this arrangement???? Iconic and gorgeous AF. It talks about someone reminiscing far into the night about past events, especially about a love that ended long ago. She keeps saying that if the person she loves meets someone else, than her former lover shouldn't talk to this new person about the past, and what's gone. It's such a beautiful song ahhh <3
3. Casa de Caba - Cílio ("Eyelash")
youtube
Oh dang, it's another Brazilian Sea Shanty time! Or at least, that's how I see this one, with all the instruments they use and the vibes. He starts mentioning a bunch of imagery to tell us the character singing is tough and is here to fuck with people in ways they WILL dislike, lol, such as "I'm the eyelash falling in your eye, an eye that cannot see", "An ugly, poorly-made ceramic pot that never breaks"; at the same time he's also "the word that guides you, the caress that comforts you, the delivery food you order and always arrives quickly", haha. Then the chorus, he's pleading: "Janaína, Janaína, Mother of my February, take me back, to the seashore" - Janaína is another name for Iemanjá, or Yemoja, the mother of seas and deity of oceans in many afro-brazilian religions, who came from the Yoruba culture. He mentions February there in the lyrics because Iemanjá is celebrated here on Feb 2nd! :)
5. Margareth Menezes - Faraó ("Pharaoh")
youtube
OH GOD YESSS! Probably the most creative track in here - the music genre is called "Axé" and very based on African / Afro-Brazilian instruments as you'll hear. Here, POWERHOUSE DIVA Margareth Menezes will fucking give you a fast course on literal Egyptian Mythology/History ("The ascension, not even Osiris knew how that happened /The order or submission of His Eye was transformed into true humanity"; "The Epic of Geb's Code, and Nut who gave birth to the stars"; "Osíris asked Isis in marriage / And the evil Seth, full of wrath, assassinated him"); then, she uses that as a way of saying we should look at our African roots in awe and joy, and how the black people is still fighting to this day for basic respect and equality, even originating from the land of legendary kings and queens and golden gods. It's SUCH a powerful song, and it's catchy af. Depending where you are, if you just scream "EU FALEI: FARAÓ!" (I said: Pharaoh!), people WILL answer to you with EEEEE, FARAÓ back lol that's how fucking iconic this one is and I love it so much
Hope you like the songs on this one! <3
Tagging @dravenxivuk @feykiller !
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Hello Lovely,
This message is here to request that you share, overshare, word-vomit, Ted Talk™, or pontificate about any subject you feel particular feelings or emotions about. It can be a current interest, something you are curious about, a show/book/music group you're really into, or just overall general knowledge you feel like sharing.
So please share with me something that you find interesting, and I hope you have an amazingly wonderful day.
💜🌻
Hello Lovely! Right now I'm just really vibing with the series I'm watching right now. I took a little break from BLs for like idk 2 or 3 months and idk as soon as November hit we were gifted some really good end of the year series. Series I genuinely feel excited to watch. We're getting back actors we haven't seen for awhile. Billy, Pavel, Nut, and Kaownah??? OFFGUN ARE BACK TOO! I haven't seen them in awhile and I'm super excited to see them on my TV again.
I've been waiting all year to get some decent action plots and now I have three series. Gangster Oppa has been such a treat. Meen is doing the gangster role well. Love to see Tew actually rough people up and have people cower in fear around him and then he turns into this big sweet softie for Guy. Sad he's quitting the life but whatever makes Guy happy. Also I love Guy, he's the cutest and sweetest boy and I want to protect him forever.
Pit Babe, I still don't quite know what's going on but gotdamn Pavel as Babe is epic. That character was made for Pavel, he lives that life anyway. 90% of his pics he's leather clad, smirking, and straddling a motorcycle. Also the bottom discourse has been wild to see, Pavel is really fucking with people's preconceived checklist of what a top should look like. Meanwhile I'm just enjoying Babe be the world's sluttiest Alpha speed racer. Also IDK if Way is going to be good or bad in the end, but I'm just loving seeing Nut Supanut's face on my screen.
The Sign just started and I'm already obsessed. Saint has produced another banger, but I wasn't worried he did give us SCOY and GAP. The Sign has a bigger budget and they went all out with the production. I've missed Billy terribly and that man is so foine and he is the king of sex appeal. Alot of people felt like there was too much combat in the beginning but I ate it up. I loved all the action. I'm excited for the fantasy aspect. We have some soulmates happenings going on. Babe is new and I'm loving him as Tharn. He's quite pretty with great brows and a lovely beauty mark. He and Billy have great chemistry and I just know they're gonna have us by the neck the whole time.
Cooking Crush started today and I'm just excited to see OffGun have a more comedic series this time around. Off is so good at comedy and I'm glad his character seems to be doing the chasing for once. It's going to be very light-hearted...until the script flips and they have us SOBBING! It's only a matter of time, they have the range and none of OffGun's series stay light for long.
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The Salem Song
Salem: Oh, Zwei~! I heard there's a song about me, and I want to hear it!
Zwei: Are... Are you sure?
Salem: Zwei, put the song on!
Zwei: It's... It's not very nice.
Salem: Zwei, put it on!
Zwei: Alright. (Presses scroll)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Music plays to the musical tune of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch")
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're a mean one, Ms. Salem~.
Salem: That's me~.
You're a fugly piece of shit~!
Salem: What?
You bring bendy straws to bathrooms 'cause you like the taste of piss, Ms. Saleeeeem~!
Salem: No. No, I- No, I don't.
I wouldn't suck your tits if they were dipped in honey and could cure cancer.
Salem: Monty Oum! Who wrote this?! Who wrote this song, Zwei?!
ALSO YOU HAVE NO TIIIIIITS~!
Salem: Zwei, stop the song.
Zwei: I can't.
Salem: What do you mean you can't?
Zwei: It's broken.
Salem: What's broken?!
Zwei: I dunno, it's jammed.
Salem: What do you- Fine! Can you at least turn it down?
Zwei: I can't. I... I'm a dog.
Salem: ZWEI!
You're a dipshit, Ms. Salem~.
Salem: (Sighs) Okay?
Even babies want you dead~!
Salem: ...Wow.
You've never bring home a man 'cause you're scared you'll wet the bed, Ms. Saleeeeeeem~!
Salem: I wish they weren't so good at rhyming.
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:
BITCH!
Salem: I'm not.
DUMPSTER!
BITCH!
Salem: No, no, no, this is not how it goes! Like, I knew they changed it, but I thought it would be like a key change, or maybe a guitar solo! But this is... This is just degrading. This hurts.
Zwei: It's pretty detailed, yeah.
Salem: What happened to the Beowolf part? I actually liked that part! It was kinda funny!
Zwei: It was a Beringel.
Salem: No, it was a Beowolf!
Zwei: It was a Beringel.
Salem: Was it a Beringel?
Zwei: Yeah, "Two Left Foot Beringel".
Salem: Oh.
You're poor, Ms. Salem~!
Salem: Didn't leave a stone unturned.
You can't afford the bus~!
Salem: Lower middle class, maybe!
You're deathly allergic to treenuts, and your exact address is thus,
Ms. Saleeeeeeem~!
Salem: What? Nonono! I-!
1482 Black Dragon Island Blvd.
Salem: Holy shit...
Remnant, Nevada.
Salem: That's my address! Wh-What are you gonna do?!
I MAILED YOUR BITCH-ASS A BAG OF NUUUUUUUUTS~!
Salem: This is a song that kids sing? Every year, they sing this same song around the Non-Descript Winter Holiday decorations?
Zwei: Yeah
Salem: A song that says "bitch"?! It has said "bitch" three times!
Zwei: Yeah, that's... That's too much.
Salem: They know I saved humanity, right?! Like, at the end of the series, I saved them all! I'm a good guy now! I pay my taxes! I go to church! (Epic solo) Oh, there is a guitar solo. ...Okay, that actually is a really good solo.
Zwei: Yeah.
Salem: Just a shame about the rest of the song.
It's not just that you are inbred~!
Salem: I'm fucked.
Miss Salem~!
Salem: This feels bad...
You don't know how to read~!
Salem: This feels really bad...
I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH YOU LOVE TO SUCK DOWN PEE, MS. SALEEEM~!
Salem: ...
According to an anonymous poll, with a sample size of more than three thousand people of Remnant who are asked to rank you on a scale from one to a hundred...
Zwei: ...Ms. Salem?
Salem: (Gone from her seat)
...based on variant traits such as likeablility, general odor, and your physical attractiveness...
Salem: (Standing over a cliff, Music muffled)
...THE HIGHEST NUMBER WE GOT WAS THREEEEEE~!
Zwei: What's wrong, Ms. Salem?
Salem: ...You ever feel like no matter how hard you try, people will always see you as your past self. Just as this one thing. This one, unchangeable thing.
Zwei: ...Like a dog?
Salem: (Sighs) I guess no matter what I do, I'll always be this black, white, and red monster.
Zwei: You're red?
Salem: Yeah, I'm red.
Zwei: Oh. I always thought you were gray.
Salem: You didn't know I was red, too?
Zwei: No. Dog.
Salem: (Smiles) That's right.
Zwei: ...I love you, Ms. Salem.
Salem: (Pets Zwei) I love you, too, Zwei.
Zwei: Happy Non-Descript Winter Holiday.
Salem: Happy Non-Descript Winter Holiday.
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2023 Favorites
I'm kinda glad I was keeping track of what I watched, in retrospect, because looking back over my posts this year, I realized I forgot about a lot of stuff. XD After looking over the recaps and excluding rewatches, here's my top ten New Stuff I Watched for 2023:
10. Cabinet Of Curiosities
Bizarre nightmares unfold in eight tales of terror in a visually stunning, spine-tingling horror collection curated by Guillermo del Toro.
If GDT is your guy, give this a watch. Creature features, cursed objects, aliens, you name it. 8/8 tentacled eldritch abominations.
9. Wolf Creek
Three backpackers stranded in the Australian outback are plunged inside a hellish nightmare of insufferable torture by a sadistic psychopathic local.
Holy shit, this was intense. And as I said initially, so mean. If you're into Texas Chainsaw Massacre, try this. I'm into franchise bingo, so I'm going to look into the sequels and TV series. 3/3 heads on a stick.
8. Requiem For A Dream
The drug-induced utopias of four Coney Island people are shattered when their addictions run deep.
I get the feeling this is one of those that hurts so much more on rewatching, so there's that to look forward to. I've also rarely seen movies that do so much harmonizing between the music and the visuals, and it was so satisfying. 4/4 refrigerator jump scares.
7. Evil Dead Rise
A twisted tale of two estranged sisters whose reunion is cut short by the rise of flesh-possessing demons, thrusting them into a primal battle for survival as they face the most nightmarish version of family imaginable.
This was probably the most fun I had with a horror movie all year, TBH. Horror exploring family dynamics will always be a fave, and this brought plenty of fresh stuff to the franchise while also holding onto the core traits. 5/5 Staffenies.
6. Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
A charming thief and a band of unlikely adventurers embark on an epic quest to retrieve a lost relic, but things go dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people.
This was the most fun I had watching a movie all year, period. If you know nothing about DND, it's a good fantasy movie. If you're a DND nerd, the game mechanics are baked into it. If you're a fan of found families, guess what! 6/6 stealth checks.
5. Cowboy Bebop
A ragtag crew of bounty hunters chases down the galaxy's most dangerous criminals. They'll save the world--for the right price.
I got exactly what I wanted out of this, so haters be damned. The anime is a masterpiece and a classic, but if you're not in the mood for the existentialism and other heavier themes, here ya go. 3/3 shower-bath-showers.
4. The Black Phone
After being abducted by a child killer and locked in a soundproof basement, a 13-year-old boy starts receiving calls on a disconnected phone from the killer's previous victims.
Near perfect, as far as I'm concerned. The older I get, the more kids-in-danger as a concept fucks with me, making this the most stressful movie I watched this year (though It Chapter One gave it a run for its money, and I still think they would make a great double feature). 5/5 black balloons.
3. Evil Dead (2013)
Five friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods.
It's gnarly. It's badass. I almost puked. I had THE BEST time. The story works as an effective allegory, the effects are gruesomely awesome, and the finale is metal af. Plain and simple. 70,000/70,000 gallons of fake blood.
2. The Crow
A man brutally murdered comes back to life as an undead avenger of his and his fiancée's murder.
Beautiful, sad, aesthetic for days, hella good soundtrack. *chef kiss* I still haven't seen The Batman, but they seem visually similar, so if you like that, you'll probably like this. For more in-depth thoughts, read my post. 1/1 epic rooftop guitar solos.
1. The Fall Of The House Of Usher
To secure their fortune (and future) two ruthless siblings build a family dynasty that begins to crumble when their heirs mysteriously die, one by one.
Not just a new favorite Mike Flanagan. A new favorite in general, and my number one for the year. I just screamed about this one last month, and I don't have anything more to add. I've seen Succession comparisons, and while I have no idea how accurate that is, there's my "if you like that, here's this." Holy crap. 7/7 deadly sins personified.
Happy New Year! 🥂
#yearly round up#watch a thon 2023#tfothou#the crow 1994#evil dead 2013#the black phone#cowboy bebop netflix#dnd honor among thieves#evil dead rise#requiem for a dream#wolf creek#guillermo del toro's cabinet of curiosities
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Michael After Midnight: "Sir Psycho Sexy" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
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For April Fool’s 2024, I decided to do a bit inspired by Todd in the Shadows called Ford Analyzes Tunes And Song Stuff, or FATASS for short (a little nod to how Todd’s moniker can be shortened to TITS). Basically people would send me a song, and I would give some wacky analysis or review of the song that was probably the opposite of my actual, genuine opinion. For example, for Nickleback’s “Photoraph,” I claimed the entire song was actually a bittersweet gay romance. It was a fun exercise in crafting absurdity from even the most mundane or stupid lyrics. But it did leave me wanting to review a song for real… and what better than one of my favorite songs of all time?
The Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band that need no introduction, but I’ll do it in case some of you out there don’t listen to good music and/or hate California: RHCP is a funk/alternative rock band formed in 1982, though they didn’t really cement their status as one of the best bands around until their release of the alt rock classic Blood Sugar Sex Magik in 1991, an album that produced the personal and powerful “Under the Bridge,” the hard rocking “Suck My Kiss,” and the all-time banger “Give It Away.” It’s a fantastic album, one of the most influential of its time, and many regard it as RHCP’s best work—including the band’s bassist, Flea. I’m certainly inclined to agree; it’s a nice middle ground between their heavily funk-influenced early work and their later more radio-friendly rock tunes. Don’t get the wrong idea here—they were, and still are, a very good band—but I think in my opinion the 90s were the decade where they really stood out from the crowd as trailblazers in the rock scene.
With that out of the way, it’s time to single out my absolute favorite song on the album to talk about: An eight minute long track titled “Sir Psycho Sexy.” With a title like that and an impressive length to match, you know you’re in for something bonkers, and I’d say the song delivers in spades; it’s a funky rap rock epic that is hornier than almost any song before or since. The rizz the titular Sir Psycho Sexy of the song displays is beyond that of any mortal man, and it is simply glorious. This song is also a song that inspired one of my Ocs—Flynn Dangerfield from the Rhine City series my wife and I are working on. If you’re unfamiliar with the character (and you shouldn’t be, the rough drafts for the story are pinned at the top of my blog), this is like if Alex Hirsch said Dipper and Mable were actually inspired by Flowers in the Attic.
If you don’t believe me, then read on as I riff on one of my favorite songs and showcase the brilliant lyrical insanity of a 90s rock band that was likely high as a kite while writing this. Also, this is your warning: These lyrics are insanely NSFW. This isn’t nearly as bad as the last song I riffed on, “Pregnant Pussy,” but it’s up there. You’ve been warned.
So this song is sort of a story, and every story has a main character. And what a character we have here; Sir Psycho Sexy is his name, and getting pussy is his game. How does one introduce such a man?
A long, long, long, long time ago
Before the wind, before the snow
Lived a man, lived a man I know
Lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho
Not a bad way to start things. Lead singer Anthony Kiedis really sets up Sir Psycho as some ancient, powerful force of nature, a being who has existed as long as there were babes to fuck and who is so eternal he was there before wind or snow. Mind you, this is before we get into all of his insane sexual feats and astounding prowess with the ladies, so we have the coolest guy in the universe right here. Let’s see what else there is to say about him:
Sir Psycho Sexy that is me
Sometimes I find I need to scream
Oh. Ok then. So Anthony Kiedis is Sir Psycho Sexy. This is either self-insert Mary Sue fanfiction, or it’s an autobiographical tale describing things that actually happened. Let’s be super duper charitable and call it the latter. At any rate, the fact he just likes to scream sometimes is universally relatable.
Still, you may not be convinced how good the song is from this opener, as it can come off as blatant wish fulfillment fantasy. Thankfully, the second verse opens with the greatest lyrics ever written by a human hand:
Deep inside the garden of Eden
Standing there with my hard on bleedin'
There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen
Good God no that would be treason
This is absolutely blasphemous, disgusting, degenerate, explicit, and one of the funniest fucking set of lyrics to ever be in a song. “There’s a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen” is not a phrase you hear every day, and it certainly won’t leave your head after you hear it. And don’t worry; things only get better from here!
Believe me Eve she gave good reason
Booty looking too good not to be squeezin'
Creamy beaver hotter than a fever
I'm a givin' 'cause she's the receiver
I won't and I don't hang up until I please her
Makin' her feel like an over achiever
I take it away for a minute just to tease her
Then I give it back a little bit deeper
So I don’t know what could be expected, but Sir Psycho plowing the Biblical Eve is probably not the sort of thing you could imagine when first popping in to listen to this song. When you take into account his ancient nature from the first verse and the fact he’s got his boner dripping blood in Eden in the first few lines of verse two, this is really the only logical next step though. The real question here is, is Sir Psycho supposed to be Adam, or has Sir Psycho tied up Adam to watch as he busts in Eve more times than should be humanly possible? If he’s “Makin’ her feel like an over achiever,” I’ve gotta imagine he’s not stopping after round one, two, or even three. I do like the detail that Sir Psycho won’t give up until he pleases her; it’s very cool and considerate that he cares enough about his lover to ensure her satisfaction too.
I got stopped by a lady cop
In my automobile
She said get out and spead your legs
And then she tried to cop a feel
Verse three begins with an extremely sad case of police brutality and sexual assault. Poor Sir Psycho was just driving along, minding his own business, when he’s pulled over for no crime whatsoever; the cop just wanted to fondle him. These lyrics really say a lot about our society, and the state of the police force in America when even gorgeous immortal studs aren’t safe from the pigs.
That cop she was all dressed in blue
Was she pretty? Boy I'm tellin' you
She stuck my butt with her big black stick
I said, "What's up?" now suck my dick
Some interesting tidbits of information here: Sir Psycho enjoys being pegged, and he has a death wish. What kind of absolute madman says that to a cop that has them at his mercy? Does he really think he can turn the tab--
Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb
She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand
On her crotch so very warm
I could feel her getting wet through her uniform
Proppin' her up on the black and white
Unzipped and slipped, "Ooh, that's tight"
I swatted her like no swat team can
Turned a cherry pie right into jam
Are we sure this man is Anthony Kiedis and not British Prime Minister David Cameron? Cuz he sure does like fucking pigs! Sir Psycho, with his ancient pornomancy powers, takes “fuck the police” to a whole new level, completely turning around whatever situation he’d gotten himself into.
And now we get a shift in the instrumentation, and the lyrics kind of mellow out and almost feel a little romantic(at least in a 90s funk rock way):
Hello young woman that I love
Pretty punk rock mama that I'm thinking of
Hold me naked if you will
In your arms in your legs in your pussy I'd kill
To be with you, to kiss with you, I do miss you
I love you
Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down
Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down
Descending waves of graceful pleasure
For your love there is no measure
Her curves they bend with subtle splendor
This part genuinely feels so tender and, while it is extremely horny, Sir Psycho seems especially reverent of this woman, this amazing “punk rock mama.” I kind of think this segment pulls the entire song together, giving us a brief respite from the more overt sexuality and into something that genuinely sounds sweet, albeit in a decidedly horny sort of way.
Of course, we soon get back to Sir Psycho’s usual escapades in the final verse:
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the funk will make me freak
If I should die before I waked
Allow me Lord to rock out naked
And after this, we get kinky before wrapping up this song and heading to an extended instrumental outro:
Bored by the ordinary time to take a trip
Calling up a little girl with a bull whip
Lickety split go snap, snap
Girl gettin' off all in my lap
The tallest tree the sweetest sap
Blowin' my ass right off the map
Ooh and it's nice out here
I think I'll stay for a while
So full disclosure, this really, genuinely is one of my favorite songs of all time, and perhaps my favorite RHCP song. It’s so audacious, in-your-face, and unabashedly horny, and in a day and age when people seem hellbent on removing sex from art, it’s nice to go back to a simpler, sluttier time and jam out. Is the length a bit excessive? Sure, probably, but length like this is all Sir Psycho is capable of.
The song is honestly not too dissimilar from the last song I reviewed, “Pregnant Pussy” by UGK… at least in terms of audacity. Where that song was trying to be as disgusting and depraved as possible to get a reaction from the listener, essentially being the nastiest troll song you’ll ever here, this song is just very upfront with its sheer horniness. It only barely eases you in, with the opening leading right into blasphemous boasting and dick blood, and it just never stops. It slows down a bit in a couple parts, but overall it really is just an unrelenting force. The song’s length isn’t something you ever really feel, because it just goes from one dirty lyric to the next.
But I think the most important thing the song does is remind us we all have a little Sir Psycho Sexy inside us, and we all have been standing the garden of Eden with our hard on’s bleeding while there were devils in our dick and demons in our semen. Maybe the real dick devils were the friends we made along the way.
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So I have been writing something on the mahabharata and thought to go through some of the popular media versions for inspiration.
[Instant regret intensifies]
I mean sometimes versions of the same thing might inspire you to do something different, I guess. I mean that was my logic but...hoooo mannn.. these are not different interpretations of the epic, these are like the Adipurush script writers had sold whatever they were smoking to the makers of all the tv versions.
I need brain bleach for atleast ninety percent of them.
I'll tell you what my opinions are (I just need to rant, please bear with me)
The StarPlus Mahabharata:
The Good:
Everyone (almost) looks good. Like casting was top notch. Eye candies walking around. The dialogues were pretty good. Some of their creative liberties hit the spot. It was the nicest version made tbf. And also, the best damned decision, SRJ as Krishna. (Say that again with me)
The Bad:
Inaccuracies galore. Also, stop simping so much on Karna. It looks pathetic. Arjun was charming alright but they managed to cut his badass skills to less than a half. My girl...Subhadra. What the hell did they do to you!!!! I hated how they showed her. The casting, the character arc... bleahhh! Duryodhan looked like a cartoonish villain and had little to no depth and Ashwatthama....whyyyyy *cries*
The RadhaKrishna Mahabharata:
The Bad:
Fucking everything. What was the casting? And why did everyone look so miniature? Except Karna and Bheem.. those dudes looked old. The story was shit. Even with their thousand and one fictional overtures. (What the hell was Krishna doing in Matsya during Virataparvam???). Kunti was a typical sasu mom villain. Arjun was a wimp.
The Good:
Sumedh is funny. And the guy playing Arjun looked like a baby. I wanted to pull his cheeks every time he came on screen (I dunno if that is good or just sweet). The only likeable scene was prolly Drau-Arjun making heart eyes at each other in that Mandir (cute couply moment and the bgscore is likable). Subhadra had some personality.
Sony's Suryaputra Karna :
:)
:)
The makers smoked weed and some combination of technicolour inducing hallucinogenic (most likely sourced from the Adipurush script writers)
:)
:)
WHAT THE EVER LOVING MIND FUCK WAS THAT?
See, I liked SP's Mahabharata's Karna (Aham Sharma.. ahem ahem) because of the creative liberties taken by the makers to make him likable. I didn't mind all of the inaccuracies. But this? THIS?
[*vomit inducing everything*]
The only two good things :- Dury was handsome (eye candy purposes) and Gautam Rode met his wife (can't help being starry eyed over meet cutes).
Karnasangini
See, at this point, I didn't go there expecting any canonical accuracy but just for creative purposes.
Good:
The sets were pretty. These dudes have money and they showed it (very cleverly copying Ek Dil ek Jaan music by changing the lyrics for Karn-Uruvi bgscore, they thought we won't notice, but we did) so everything was eye pleasing. Bhanumati was again... eye candy pretty. Karna himself (Asim Gulati meri jaan), too tragically pretty. I think this Arjun (baby but with beard, lmfao) was also the same guy as Radhakrishna MB.
Bad:
Uruvi (and I swear its not because I can't tolerate Tejaswini). The girl was the most annoying mc to have ever been written. I couldn't feel anything for her. I couldn't understand jack of what she ever did or spoke. The hypocrisy was sky high.
PS:- I would have totally enjoyed watching a version of Karna's life and the Kauravas pov of the mahabharata, had they made it properly (not whitewashing everyone on their side with fucking plaster while turning the Pandavas into cartoony villains.. sigh). Also I think, this one was adapted from the Kavita Kane book.
--------------------------------------------
One liners on the book [because, why not]
Arjun Without A Doubt (Sweety Shinde) :-
Literally ArDi fanfiction straight out of wattpad (just better writing to be completely fair) and the authot hated everyone else except Krishna.
Karna's Wife, The Outcast's Queen (Kavita Kane) :-
Could have been interesting had the writing not been so bad. Cartoony antagonist and protagonists and completely amateurish plot creation.
The Fisher Queen's Dynasty (Kavita Kane):-
I actually liked this one. It was a refreshing take on characters not usually written of.
The Rise of Hastinapur, The Winds of Hastinapur, The Rise of Hastinapur (Sharath Komarraju) :-
I liked his style and his storytelling. Wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea though. The characters are very controversially written. (Also, trilogy on the women of mahabharat.. count me in)
The Palace of Illusions (Chitra Banerjee Divakurni) :-
I had high expectations from her but... it fell flat on its face. This was the worst portrayal of Draupadi I have ever come across, anywhere, across any platforms.
The Amar Chitra Katha comics :-
Some of the most authentic retellings of the epic and I truly enjoyed going through all the individual copies and also the full three set volume they had.
The Song of Draupadi (Ira Mukhoty) :-
I loved this one. Very opinionated and very open to interpretation as well. It was a good read.
PS :- I haven't read any of Devdutt Patnaik's books (tbh I dont like the guy very much, as little as I know him from interviews on the internet) and I want to read Ajaya but haven't got around to it. Any more books that I should check out?
-------------------------------------------
PPS :- All of this has been written from a creative point of view. I did not see any of them for getting to see the actual mahabharata. It was mostly for fun. But now I wish people would make more individual versions of other characters depicting their story (EXCEPT FUCKING KARNA again)
#mahabharat#desiblr#desi tumblr#indian aesthetic#hindublr#hindu#mahabharata#arjuna#karna#draupadi#subhadra#krishna#meta#popular media versions#shows#rant#books#books on the mahabharata#book rec
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lol I thought last week's episode of stampede was intense.
I can't even wrap my head around today's.
There's so much to digest here.
My insomnia is still raging and I feel like shit so here's some rambling word vomit re: trigun stampede ep 11!!
angst Angst ANGST
like seriously the vash whump this episode
Meryl kicking Wolfwood. I laughed out loud. Love her so much
Also GO MERYL RUN TO HIM. I am on my knees begging for her to be the one to snap him out of it next week. It would do my poor shipper heart such good
Wolfwood taking a smoke from Roberto's corpse. Damn son
Did I mention the vash angst
The imagery OMG the imagery!!!! The new plant imagery!!! It's SO FUCKING COOL omg the roots and the giant root person at the end with the black and purple flowers?? Fucking EPIC so cool
RIP rem. U were so good to your boys
Young Vash and Knives bickering. So cute. Why couldn't you stay that way
They're actually bringing in the body horror stuff from manga!! Tesla's mangled corpse, the pregnant plants, etc. Plus the whole root thing going on with Vash right now, very body horror
Did I mention TESLA
Knives. KNIVES. if you erase your brother, he is no longer your brother. You fool
*knives plunges into soup* my husband: "he's like a ken doll down there"
We're going to ignore the fact that the boys are canonically dickless I guess??? Lmaoo especially since I just wrote mash smut
Oh also I will also drop mash smut later today. If I can find the brainpower to edit it
When knives tells Vash he did all of this for him, and the dome shatters and Vash has that heartbreaking scream. Oh my, our puppy so sad I wanna die. And THAT'S what brought down his last shred of resistance
Wolfwood gonna come back and help I assume. But that would defo put him on knives' shit list which would complicate things. So maybe Wolfwood doesn't help him here actually. Then later he suffers major regret for not coming to the aid of his tongari and feels an even more intense need to protect Vash? Hm....
Farewell Conrad you fuck (I hope)
I been wondering since last EP how Vash might destroy July without killing meryl and stuff? Interested to see how this plays out. Maybe the building they're in is kind of sheltered by all the roots and is the only thing left standing in the end
Once more: I'm LOVING THE NEW PLANT IMAGERY
Oh and the music SLAPS as always
I literally don't know how to wait another week. I also don't know how to cope with the fact that after next ep, we'll have to wait for S2. I'm not gonna make it
The end thanks for reading
(Oh one more thought: annoying July police guy holding his lil ramen bowl amidst the crowd gaping at the root monster. Keep being you buddy)
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Eurovision 2023: #26
26. ITALY
Marco Mengoni - "Due vite"
4th place
youtube
Decade ranking: 76/116
[Above The Black Mamba, below Rosa Linn]
Who the hell drinks coffee with lemon juice?! Do Italians disrespect tea as much as the Eurovision?
I dunno guys, what do you expect me to write? All my Italy posts operate under a strict policy of post-nut clarity, and 2023 marked yet another year of impressionables male-gazing the fuck out of a Sanremo Ballad and putting it on a pedestal for merely showing up. Moreso than usual because Marco actually is a handsome guy.
Anyway, is Due Vite good? Um, yeah I guess? I'm not the right person to ask. The things Due Vite and Marco excel at are things I don't value too much in (pop) music. I have developed coping mechanisms for romantic longing and intimacy without needing a Due Vite. If I want classiness, I just put on classical music track. if I want a hot guy, well, you know, other methods. What I do yearn for when I open YT or Spotify are upbeat distractions, anti-depression anthems, immersive experiences, or complex entries that provide an intellectual stimulus. Barring that funny gimmicks or remarkable journeys for the Eurovision Songs specifically. Due Vite is... well none of those lol. It's a plain and unpretentious romance ballad that floated its way to the top in a bad year based on Marco's looks and nationality. It's good in general, I think? Just not what I need in music.
That said, Marco was better than I initially gave him credit for. Unlike Andrew (who?), Marco embraced his inner queer-coded himbot self and that improved him in my eyes. L'essenziale does not actively linger in my mind, but I remember Marco as stilted and wooden, staring off-camera like a deer caught in headlights. Ten years later he supplely pranced onto the catwalk all ~*MaFiA d'eLL ArCoBALeNo*~ like a glamorous gayzelle, which was an unexpected and epic move we all appreciated. Shameless fanservice king lmfao <3 The vibe carried through into Due Vite as well, which Marco managed to turn somewhat camp with his presence.
So overal verdict: Italy was perfectly fine, I guess. Fourth place is an EXTREMELY generous result for what Due Vite truly was and the impressionables calling it ONE OF THE BEST EUROVISION BALLADS EVER is nothing short of insane to me. Otoh, things could have been so much worse? Liverpool2023 was not very good and Marco in fourth place is not even one of the ten worst results from it. Also, Fai Rusnore or Shitvidi would have scored the very same result if they had happened in 2023. So I am kind of pleased that the overrated Italian top fiver in this year was one that, well, I don't like, but can respect without too many reservations.
THE RANKING:
#Eurovision#Eurovision Song Contest#Eurovision 2023#ESC 2023#Liverpool 2023#BorisBubbles#Italy#Marco Mengoni#Due Vite#Youtube
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